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#and this was my 3rd edible of the day
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idk if it is just the 200mg edible, bong hits, vodka, caffeine pills, or hydros but maybe things WILL be okay??
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loversarcanas · 1 year
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tedtjx<%#/>:;^%<
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tyunkus · 1 year
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amazon wishlist — kang taehyun
pairing: roommate!kang taehyun x afab!reader summary: your roommate and best friend, taehyun, finds a dildo on your amazon wishlist.
wc: 5.5k
warnings: masturbation, dry humping, dirty talk (praise, some degradation), pet names (princess, angel, baby, pretty), like One spank, teasing/humiliation?, penetrative, safe sex, mention of cunnilingus and handjob, also unrealistic because taehyun games here but. let me live my gamer bf dreams ok?
note: originally wrote this in 3rd person and then had to manually change it to 2nd person so sorry for any mistakes ! also still figuring how this site works so sorry for the plain formatting. i dont actually know if amazon sells dildos, and if they cost $30? probably not but yk... artistic liberty... capitalism...
There’s no chicken.
You notice this one Friday afternoon in the middle of July, while the pavements outside sizzle from the heat and the sun spills through the windows and warms up your back. You’re in the kitchen, sifting through a pathetic heap of frozen food. Usually, you head to the nearby supermarket after pilates class to pick up a pack of bacon; other times, Taehyun comes home after a day with Kai bearing a bag of frozen wedges. Either way, it’s clear that neither of you have bought anything edible since your last grocery run two weeks ago.
Frozen french fries. Korean corndogs. A half-empty pack of fishcakes. No chicken.
You open the fridge, eyes skimming over its meager contents, as if it would be there. It isn’t. You open the freezer again, wondering if the gods above would be so gracious as to summon some chicken breast into your freezer to feed you and your roommate tonight. They don’t.
“Maybe we should go grocery shopping.”
You’re fresh from a long, elaborate shower. Your hair falls in wet tresses over your shoulders and you’re clad in dolphin shorts and a big shirt that might have been Taehyun’s but you borrowed so often and for so long that he probably forgot it ever belonged to him. It’s your turn to cook dinner and you’re grumbling over the fact that Taehyun cooked your only remaining pack of chicken breast last night when you hear his bedroom door click open.
Just in time. A shitty rap song follows the sound of the soft padding of his footsteps against the floor. “Hey, you home?” he calls from halfway down the hallway, but you cut him off before he can say anything else.
“I told you I would cook chicken and you still finished it last night, and now there’s nothing for me to cook, asshole,” you say, more exasperated than angry. You turn around just as he walks in, wearing nothing but black joggers and his obnoxious RGB headset. His eyes are wide and bashful. You wrinkle your nose and turn around again. “What happened to your shirt?”
Taehyun has the decency to sound sheepish. “Sorry, I was playing with the boys,” he mumbles, like that wasn’t painfully obvious already. You have no problem with seeing Taehyun or shirtless guys by themselves, but a shirtless Taehyun has you torn between wanting to throw up and throwing away your clothes. Maybe to other people having a first-class view of his washboard abs sounds like a blessing, but to you, it’s only a level below mental distress.
“Tell Kai I said hi,” you say absently, now going through your drawers for restaurant flyers (if worse comes to worst, you’ll order takeout for tonight). “Anyway, what’d you come outside for?”
“I needed to talk to you about something.”
At this, you peer over your shoulder, studying Taehyun’s face. He doesn’t look particularly upset, just stoic, which is a dangerous sign in itself. Taehyun’s usually calm, but he’s not stoic—at least, not in this stage of your friendship, when Taehyun has known you long enough to stop pretending that he’s some sort of tsundere.
“Is something wrong?” you ask softly, turning around to lean against the counter.
“I saw your wishlist on Amazon. Why do you have a dildo on there?”
The words fall on you like a bucket of hardened cement. You feel your heart rate increase by about a thousand beats.
“I—you what?” you sputter in disbelief. There are a few seconds in-between this moment of horror where you want to scold him, yell at him, do anything, but it’s not like he’s in the wrong. It’s your Amazon wishlist. But why was he snooping around on it? And why did you put a dildo on it? Fuck. Your mind searches for an intelligent response, but all that falls out of your mouth is, “Other people can see that?”
Taehyun raises his eyebrows. “Yes? I hope you didn’t share it with your parents or anything, ‘cause it’s like, the first one on the list.”
You grip the counter, suddenly feeling very ill. “Oh. Shit.” You had not done anything of the sort—you kept your parents away from your online presence for that very reason. But if anyone was to stumble upon your questionable wishlist on Amazon dot com, you weren’t expecting Taehyun of all people. Your best friend? And roommate? Really? Fuck Jeff Bezos, for real.
“But that’s besides the point,” Taehyun says, advancing towards you, and you back up a little. Between his tall, wide-shouldered frame and you being a good bit smaller, you discover that it is very, very easy to feel intimidated, almost trapped, by him. “Why do you need to buy one? You know I got a dick, right?”
It’s like another punch to the stomach, except someone also crushed your head with a boulder. If you weren’t red before, you definitely are now, sweat pooling at your palms at his implication. “What the fuck are you talking about.”
Taehyun shrugs and reaches behind you to grab a glass from the dish holder. “I’m just saying,” he says, making his way over to the sink. “Why waste thirty dollars on some plastic when you can get the real thing for free? And better?”
Are you even hearing him right? “Genuinely what are you on,” you say, still aghast. “I wanted to buy one because—because—I mean, I-I don’t know, it’s normal! Shit, Taehyun, does it really matter? Don’t tell me you’re being serious.”
He shrugs again. “Why not?”
You say the first thing that pops into your mind. “What if it sucks?”
Taehyun only laughs. “You really have that little faith in me?”
“I don’t know!” You think briefly on the sex talks you two have had—some you had sprawled over each other on the couch, glasses of soju in hand; others you had during movie nights, clay masks smeared over your faces while you struggled not to laugh too hard. They were fun, sure, but it’s one thing to hear Taehyun talk about fucking other people and another to hear him talk about fucking you. To your knowledge, Taehyun’s pretty good in bed, but… But why are you even considering it? You both have been best friends for years. If you have sex, it’s only going to ruin your friendship. There are other ways for you to feel good—ways that don’t risk a seven-year friendship and getting kicked out of the apartment.
“I don’t know,” you say again, suddenly terrified at yourself for not giving him a straight answer. It should be a hard, flat no! You shouldn’t be considering it all! Yet here you are, your brain suddenly full of the thought of Taehyun and his dick.
“Hey, I’m just saying. Trying to open up some options for you here. I’m one hundred percent willing, but only if you are.” Taehyun puts up his hands like that settles it. He flashes you a smile. “Just tell me, okay? And if you still don’t want to, that’s chill too. We’ll both act like this never happened.”
Is that even possible? “Right,” you say, feeling faint. “Okay, yeah.”
Taehyun’s smile doesn’t fade. You can only watch as he takes a swig of water and shuffles happily to his room.
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You think about it. Probably a bit too much.
You have an essay to write for your class, and it’s due in a few hours—but you can’t stop thinking about it. It being Taehyun fucking you. In your defense, you’ve been pent up all week, trying to balance your academics and health and social life and Taehyun all without having any time for yourself, so it makes sense, you think. You hope it makes sense that you’re fantasizing about your roommate, considering everything that’s happening to you.
You shut your laptop and sigh, lying back down on your bed. Taehyun has been acting completely normal in the three days between now and when he had first made his offer, which you are endlessly grateful for, but also bewildered by. He had even paid for takeout that same night, and you had eaten it together on the floor of your living room, and it was like nothing had even happened. Still, you’ve been mulling it over ever since. Pondering it, if you will. And it’s not your first time. Many nights you have found your tired, worn-out brain wandering to your roommate, his pretty face, great body, cute personality… How it would feel. What he would do. Taehyun, leaning over you, kissing you, running his pretty hands up and down your skin. Nipping at your collarbone with his sharp, perfect teeth. Grazing them along your neck, sucking at the soft parts.
Fuck. You’re wet.
You feel crazy.
Your hands slide down your panties, face burning with shame. The only thing you can think of is Taehyun, his soft skin and pretty brown eyes, his lean arms and chest. You picture him above you, caging you between his arms, a glittering smile on his face as he touches you, his back muscles flexing. Do you like that? he whispers, his voice low and raspy. You don’t even have to work hard to imagine what he sounds like during sex—the walls here are awfully thin, he’s a twenty-one-year-old guy, and you’ve thought about it more often than not.
“Fuck,” you keen, your hips rolling up as you dip your finger into your folds. Your free hand trails up your torso and into your mouth; you roll your tongue around your fingers and wish, crazily, that you were sucking on Taehyun’s instead. “Shit, oh f—”
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“About your offer.”
You’re sitting at the dining table. Taehyun is halfway through his serving of pancakes that you made for him in a partly-tired, mostly-horny daze. After a particularly busy morning, you can’t remember much of last night other than the fact that you fucked yourself sore and came three times in a row, no refractory period, and now you can barely hold your fork.
Taehyun looks up at you. He’s shirtless again. If you were any crazier you would be disappointed that he never left much room for imagination before your first time together. “My offer,” he echoes.
“From a few days ago,” you clarify, poking your fork through your slice of toast. “The. You-fucking-me thing.”
“Ah.” Taehyun leans back and you can tell he’s fighting down a smile. “Yeah, what about it?”
“Well. I’ve been kinda… you know, lately,” you begin, staring hard at your plate, “and I was gonna buy the… you know, but then I realized my shipping address is still at my parents’ house and I really don’t want to wait for another week or pay extra to get it the next day or pay thirty dollars for a plastic dick so—”
“So you want me to fuck you?”
You let out a breath and brave a glance at him. “Yeah,” you mumble.
“That’s all you had to say,” Taehyun says with a smile. He pushes his plate away and fixes you with a look. “When do you want to do it? Kinda weird to be planning this out, no?”
You groan and bury your face in your hands. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to do it,” you groan.
Taehyun laughs, reaching over to touch your arm. “Don’t worry about it. What about later tonight? After you’re finished with your homework, I can help you unwind,” he suggests, and he sounds like he’s just telling you about the weather—but his voice has dropped about three octaves and normally you would find this shit cringe, but. Holy fuck.
You aren’t one for slutshaming, but perhaps you are one yourself. You squeeze your thighs together and nod, your gaze falling to the table. “Sure. That sounds good.”
“Good. You can come to my room once you’ve finished. I won’t be playing tonight, so don’t worry about interrupting. Well, you might be interrupting something, but—”
“Okay, okay, I get it. Nooo need to elaborate,” you spit, standing up and picking up your plate. Taehyun laughs as you walk over to the sink and put away your dish. When you return back to the dining table, he continues eating like nothing happened. “I’ll go study now.”
“Study well, pretty.”
You make a vague sound of affirmation before slipping inside your room again. You back up against the door and take a second to breathe, then shuffle over to your closet.
Your panties are wet. Again.
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“Come in.”
You step inside his room. It’s dark—his lights aren’t on, save for the RGB strips on his setup. He sits on his chair, legs spread, lap looking awfully inviting. For once, he’s wearing a hoodie, and he looks like he just got off a game.
“I expected to catch you at a more… compromising time,” you say, carefully.
“Funny way to say you wanted to see me jerking off.”
“I didn’t say that,” you say with a frown, and you stop walking in front of his chair. Taehyun pats his lap. He’s smiling so, so wide.
“Take a seat.”
You’re grateful when his hands reach up to cup your waist, guiding you as you slide a leg over him and sit down. It’s weird—oddly comfortable, but your tits are pressed up against his chest and your faces are really, really close. Like, close enough you can see each of his eyelashes. He’s so, so pretty.
Taehyun looks you in the eye. “Can I kiss you?” he asks, voice soft. When you nod, he hums and squeezes your waist. “Alright. Tell me about your day.”
“Huh?”
“Foreplay, baby. That’s like, the whole essence of a hookup.” Taehyun raises his eyebrows at you. “Would you just play along?”
“Fine, fine. I didn’t do mu—oh,” you gasp, as Taehyun’s lips latch onto your neck, pulling you into him. “Ah, fuck. I didn’t do much. I—I woke up early and did some assignments. Got a ninety percent on my mock exams.”
“Woah,” Taehyun says, pulling away. His eyes are bright. “Really?”
“Yeah. All of them.”
“Damn. Good job. Sometimes I forget you’re smart and hot,” he murmurs in between kisses. “Perfect girl.”
Holy shit. “Um—and then I went to the gym and this guy asked me for my number,” you continue. Taehyun licks at your throat and bites down hard. “Ow, fuck you. I said no thanks and then went back home and showered.”
“Did you do anything in the shower?”
You scoff as he licks along your jaw. “No. I’m not a perv like you.”
“Not a good idea to make fun of the guy who’s about to fuck you.”
“Sorry. Can’t help it.”
“And then what?”
“And then I had breakfast with you and after, I… I fucked myself a little.” Taehyun groans and your breath hitches in your throat. “I thought of you.”
He chuckles. “I would have been a little confused if you hadn’t. You must have been so pent up, baby, huh?”
You grab a fistful of his hair and pulls him away from your neck so your eyes meet. “I’ve been thinking of you. For a long time. Even before you made the offer,” you say, barely breathing. Your grip loosens, and you watch as his eyes grow dark. “Anytime I got h-horny, I—I imagined you. And I… was going to buy the toy ’cause I never thought I’d get the real thing with you.”
Taehyun seems taken aback, but his face of faint surprise melts into his usual cocky smile and he presses his lips against yours.
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but the real thing is a little bigger than five inches, baby.”
If you weren’t wet before, you’re drenched now. You feel a little bad for his grey sweatpants, the front all smeared with your precum. But knowing Taehyun, he’d probably like that.
You continue kissing for a while, Taehyun’s gaming chair creaking incessantly underneath your weight, but you’re too turned on to be bothered. He’s still playing with your panties, rubbing you over them. You honestly, truly might die.
“Taehyun,” you say, pulling away. He looks like a mess, lipgloss smeared all over his mouth, hair messy from your constant running your hands through them. “Can you touch me?”
“I am touching you, baby.”
You whine. “No, no, like—like inside me, please, fuck.”
“Use your pretty voice to ask me nicely.”
You take a deep breath but it’s let out as a whimper. “Please, Taehyun. Fuck me with your fingers,” you mumble, burying your face in his neck. “Please, please. Please.”
“Good job, princess. Of course. Anything you want.”
And you—you almost die, and it shows with the way you squeezes your thighs together and nuzzle your face deeper into his shoulder, letting out a soft moan when he finally moves to comply.
Taehyun seems to notice, because something in his eyes shifts and he leans in, kissing your cheek. “Do you like it when I praise you, baby? Come on, tell me everything. Tell me what turns you on. Want to make you feel good.”
“I like praise, yeah,” you say, your voice trembling as he moves his hands down to the hem of your panties. “Praise and… And some degradation, too, but mostly praise. I like pet names and—fuck—biting and spanking and k-kissing, fuck, even just kissing turns me on so much.”
“I can tell, baby.” Taehyun glides a finger over your cunt and smiles. “You’re fucking soaked. So cuuute.” He coos it, like you’re some sort of cute doll and not his fucking roommate whose pussy he’s playing with.
It makes you whimper, your fingers shaking where they should be holding onto Taehyun’s shoulders. “Ugh, fuck,” you squeak. “Fuck you.”
“Let me do it first. Grind down on me, pretty.”
You comply and gasp a little at the hardness underneath you. “Fuck. You’re so—”
Taehyun hums, his hands moving to your waist, helping you rock harder against him. “Just for you. I’ve been hard all day just thinking about you.”
You make a pathetic sound at the back of your throat and kiss him, your mind suddenly flooded with images of him touching himself right here in his chair, the slick sound of his hand wrapped around his cock, all while he thinks of you. Without warning, he reaches up his free hand and lightly taps at your cheek; you don’t even have to think about it before your mouth falls open and his fingers slide in.
“Perfect,” Taehyun breathes, and your heart skips in your chest. “You’re so good, fuck. Didn’t even have to ask, what a good girl.”
You grind down harder. Taehyun throws his head back and lets out something between a sigh and a groan. “Fuck, princess,” he rasps. “You’re so cute.” He reaches up with his other hand to caress your flushed face. “You feel really—ugh—really fucking good.”
“Oh my god, wait, fuck, wait—” You whimper around his fingers and slow to a stop; your hands clutch at the back of his hoodie. You whine into the cloth, breathing him in, feeling him all over you. His hands move down to your waist, squeezing gently. You can hardly breathe. “I… I was getting close. I don’t wanna come yet.”
Taehyun shifts a little under you; you huff when his hands slide under your ass and he moves to stand up, lifting you with him. “Let’s move to the bed, then,” he grunts, and your legs close around his waist as he carries the both of you to his bed.
He preoccupies himself by kissing you—your lips don’t move away from each other’s as you tumble onto the mattress. Your mind is racing. You’ve imagined kissing Taehyun so many times before, fantasized about how it felt, and these past few days it was all you could think about. His lips are so warm, his hands even warmer where they wander on your skin. You want him close, closer. Inside.
You break the kiss. “Taehyun,” you murmur against his lips. “Taehyun, please.”
Thankfully, Taehyun seems to understand what you’re getting at, and doesn’t make you beg for it—he’s shimmied out of his sweats and hoodie in record time, with only boxers and a wife beater left. He smiles down at you, gentle, loving. “Could you undress for me?”
You don’t need to be asked twice. You pull your dolphin shorts down and kick them off your ankles, trying your best to peel off your shirt as you do so. Taehyun is fully shirtless now, shadows cast across his toned muscles, and his hands probe at his boxers, but his eyes are fixed on you.
You have never felt so exposed wearing your favorite set of lingerie—you fight the urge to cover your stomach with your arms and instead opt to look up at Taehyun from under your lashes and hope he’s as horny as you are right now.
It takes a moment for Taehyun to recollect himself, but when he does, his hands are immediately on you, awed at your softness. “Damn,” he breathes.
“How eloquent of you.”
Taehyun laughs, running his hands down your waist. “No, I—” He breathes out another chuckle, his eyes trailing down to your belly. “No, you’re just perfect.”
Your cheeks heat and you feel yourself throb a little at his praise. “Says you. Know how many guys would kill to have your body?”
“Know how many guys would kill to have such a beautiful, sexy, smart girl like you?”
You press your lips together. You can’t help but think about how nice he looks, seated between your legs. “A lot of guys would be after you, it seems.”
“Can’t blame them. Fuck, your thighs,” Taehyun groans, moving his hands over them. Your breath catches in your throat. His hands look—are—huge. “Oh my fucking god. Promise me you’ll let me eat you out.”
You blink. “Of course,” you say. “Could you get to fucking me already?”
Taehyun laughs. “Right, sorry. Let me take my boxers off first.”
“Do you have a condom?”
“Yeah, it should be in the hoodie pocket.”
You retrieve the hoodie from the other side of the bed and feel around in its pocket before your fingers graze the plastic; you immediately pick it up and throw the hoodie on the floor. Meanwhile, Taehyun is finally fully naked and stroking himself; you turn even redder. Fuck, you want him so bad.
You tell him so. “Hurry, hurry, please,” you gasp, tossing the unopened condom packet to Taehyun, who chuckles.
“On your hands and knees, angel.”
You obey and whimper impatiently as Taehyun opens the condom and puts it on.
“Jesus, baby, you’re such a mess already and I haven’t even put it in,” Taehyun mumbles. You feel the bed dip where he climbs onto it again, and moans when he gives your ass a smack. “Needy. That’s what you are. Needy and impatient.”
You whimper. “Please, pleasepleaseplease, just put it in, put it in—” Taehyun pushes the small of your back so you drop face-first onto the mattress, cheek squished against the blankets. It smells like him. Everything smells like him. For once you fall silent when he announces he’s sliding in and you feels it poking at your entrance. Your eyes squeeze shut.
He slides in the first inch and you can’t help but whine. “Pleeeease, Taehyun,” you gasp, your voice high and reedy. He complies without an answer, sliding in more, slowly, until he’s almost halfway. You let out a squeak.
“What’s wrong?” Taehyun coos. “Don’t think you can take it?”
You make a small, pathetic noise at the back of your throat. “Nonono,” you cry. “You’re just… really big. Bigger than that—that dumb f-fucking dildo.”
“Aw, am I r-r-really?” Taehyun grins and eases another inch into you before you get the chance to retort. You suck in a breath instead, bunching the sheets into your hands. In a moment of guilt, he uses his other hand to give your waist a reassuring squeeze, then leans over to push back your hair for you. “Damn, you’re tight. You can take it, though, can’t you?”
You whimper. “Ah, shit, yes.”
“That’s it. There you go. Doing such a good fucking job, taking my cock.”
Taehyun kisses your shoulder as he slides in the rest, a string of pathetic whimpers and cries leaving your mouth as he bottoms out. Once his thighs touch the back of yours, he stays very still, letting you adjust to the size.
To both your surprise, you are the one who breaks the almost-silence with a short huff as you prop yourself on your elbows. “You… you can move now,” you grit out, sounding almost pained.
Taehyun hums. “Tell me first. Which do you like better? The toy or my cock?”
You’re silent, but he can see your knuckles whitening as you grip the bedsheets. Taehyun scoffs and grabs both your arms with his hand, pulling them behind you with a grunt. You yelp as his cock hits a different angle inside of you.
“Tell me. Which one is better? I won’t move until you tell me.”
You whimper for a few moments, but Taehyun doesn’t let up. You take a shaky breath and let your head hang. “Y-you,” you mumble.
“Louder, pretty.”
“I like your cock better—hmf—better than the toy,” you say. Taehyun can hear the tears in your voice and his belly flip-flops. So fucking hot.
He might have said that out loud—you might have heard him—but he doesn’t have time to think about the possibilities, because at once he’s drawing his hips away from yours and slamming back inside again. The reaction is immediate. You keen, chest heaving at the intensity. 
“Fuck,” you croak, clinging onto the bedsheets.
“God,” Taehyun breathes, holding you up to his chest, “I’m obsessed with you.” He mouths at your neck and you whimper.
“Don’t bite too hard,” you plead. Taehyun bites down harder in response.
“I’ll bite as hard as I want,” he says, but there’s no heat in his words, and he presses a kiss to your shoulder right after. His hands snake up your body, from your hips to your waist until they stop comfortably at your tummy. He thrusts in and out of you at a steady pace, kissing mindlessly at any sliver of skin he can get his lips on. “Been dreaming about this for ages, you know. I’ve been wanting to fill you up for the longest time.”
Fire stirs within the pit of your stomach at the thought. “I do, too. Fingered myself thinking it was your cock,” you mumble back, delirious, and you can feel him smile against your shoulderblades. Suddenly, he slides out, flips you over and enters you once more in a single swift movement. His pace picks up and you exhale slowly, melting into the pleasure, your eyes trained on the array of faces he’s making above you.
“You’re perfect, angel.” Taehyun’s voice drops into a murmur, his bangs falling perfectly around his face. “I’ve always wanted to do this with you, baby. Not only because you’re really hot, but”—he lets out a moan here—“also ’cause I really, really like you, and I don’t wanna fuck the shit out of you for no reason, I—I also wanna take you on dates, and—” He pauses and groans when you squeeze down on him, eyes twisting shut. “Ah, shit, and I wanna fuck you not as a one time thing, but—fuck, but as like, a boyfriend thing—mm—you know?”
You let out a moan, your eyes cracking open incredulously. “You’re telling me this now?” you pant.
Taehyun laughs but goes even faster, his hands still tight around the softness of your waist. You cry out and latch onto his strong arms, wondering if this is happening, if this is real, if Taehyun really just confessed to you in the middle of rearranging your guts. You can’t believe this. Your heart flutters. Your pussy throbs. God, what is wrong with him?
Taehyun’s hand moves up to your jaw. He tilts your chin up and presses your lips together in a slow, slow kiss. “Fuck, baby, you’re gorgeous. Shit,” he says, kissing you again and again. He looks almost desperate, moving inside you, his entire face flushed red. “I love kissing you. Such a pretty girl, my baby, aren’t you? I—oh, fuck, you feel so good, I like you so much.”
“Shit,” you mewl, reaching up to cup his face. He kisses the corner of your mouth, moving almost desperately now, moaning loudly against your skin. “Fuck, Taehyun, you’re crazy—fuck—”
“Tell me how beautiful you are,” Taehyun rasps, not sounding like himself at all, but he moves his hips impossibly faster, and his hand trails down to your neck. “Tell me how pretty you look while your pussy chokes this dick, fuck.”
You wail, your hands flying up to grasp at his wrists. “I’m—’m a puh-pretty girl, fuck, ’m so pretty—”
“That’s right, princess. Are you close? You wanna come?” he rasps, reaching down now to rub your clit. “Go ahead, baby, come on my cock, please, fuck, come on—”
“Taehyun,” you gasp, your breath hitching, as you feel the waves of your oncoming orgasm. 
“—cream on it, sweet girl, make me proud, wanna feel you coming for me, ’cause of me—”
You cry out from underneath him and you jolt so suddenly it startles him; your back arches off the bed and your thighs clamp around him and you go very, very still. You come for a long time, breathing and whining throughout it; Taehyun keeps moving, easing you out of it, his hands rubbing and squeezing your waist until finally your muscles relax and you go slack, melting back into the mattress.
“That’s it, pretty, good job,” he murmurs, running feather-light touches up and down your torso. “Good job, princess, what a sweet girl.”
He slides out of you after a minute, and you make a noise; you crane your neck to watch as he peels off the condom. “Did you come?” you ask, your voice awfully quiet. He looks up at you and smiles.
“It’s fine, baby.”
You move to sit up. “No, no—”
“Angel, I’m good.”
“You’re still—”
“Shush.” Taehyun scoots closer to you, settling on his elbows between your legs. “I still want to taste you.”
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An hour later, you find yourselves lying in bed together. After making you come another time on his tongue and finally coming after the world’s best handjob, Taehyun had scooped you up and seated you in the bathtub, where you took turns washing each other’s hair and giggling deliriously about what had just happened. You smell overwhelmingly like his shitty male body wash, but you find it hard to care that much when he’s buried his face in the crook of your neck.
Seeing that your friendship was effectively ruined in the best way possible, you find it hard not to giggle a little, wrapped in his arms. Taehyun’s hands, sliding smooth and gentle across your torso, stop abruptly.
“What are you laughing at?” he asks, sounding affronted.
“You. You’re ridiculous.”
“What? I wasn’t even doing anything.”
“Wouldn’t it have been easier to just ask me out on a date? As opposed to offering to fuck me. You came off a little strong with that, you know,” you mumble. “Now that I think about it, it was kind of a dick move.”
“Sorry,” Taehyun grumbles. “I’ve asked you out to dinner multiple times but you kept calling them friend dates so I gave up on that.”
“You were trying to flirt with me? I had no idea.”
“Clearly. That’s why I had to stop trying to make romantic advancements and just settled on asking to fuck you instead. The dildo was the perfect incentive.” His fingers move up to tangle in your hair. “I had—I have, like, the biggest, stupidest crush on you. It’s embarrassing.”
You smile. “Lucky you. I like you, too.”
He breathes out, presses his forehead to your shoulder. “Thank god. I was waiting for you to say it,” he says quietly. “We don’t have to talk about it now, though. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
“Fine with me. Why were you even looking at my Amazon wishlist, anyway?”
“Well.” Taehyun stills his hands and clears his throat. “I was trying… to pick out… a birthday gift for you.”
“A birthday gift?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh my god.”
“Don’t laugh.”
You start to laugh. “Oh my god,” you say again, in between giggles. “My birthday isn’t for another two months, dumbass.”
“I wanted to be prepared!” Taehyun protests, pinching lightly at your waist. “I told you, I have the biggest fucking crush on you. I was gonna give you a bunch of little gifts. And actually, I was planning to ask you to be my girlfriend. I was so excited, too. Asked the guys for help and everything. Soobin was going to hold up the sign. And Beomgyu was in charge of finding a nice place.”
You snort, twisting around to kiss him. “Sorry for laughing. You’re just an idiot sometimes,” you mumble, and kiss him again. “If it makes you feel better, I would have said yes. And anyway… I kinda knew you liked me. The walls are very thin, you know.”
Taehyun tenses up behind you. “What?” he asks after a beat of silence.
“I hear you jacking off all the time. I’m sorry to break it to you. At least you sound pretty.”
Taehyun groans and presses his nose between your shoulderblades. “Fuck you,” he says, muffled.
You hum. “We’re even.”
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tyun: pussy so good i professed my undying love for her
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nonsensical-pixels · 3 months
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happy birthday to you, simscord! on this day in 2022, @skittlesplays created the most iconic sims discord server ever. to celebrate the beginning of its 3rd year in this sinful world, have a very special gift i made for my fellow 'shrimpscordians': the shrimpsday cake! 🥳
this should go very well with my shrimpsmas collection! it is essentially @balkopat's white birthday cake recolored to look a bit more 'shrimpsy', and decorated using @surely-sims' inflatable wedding arch from their my wedding trauma collab with @ice-creamforbreakfast, plus dozens of lil shrimp toys from their 2023 advent calendar!
the cake is of course fully functional, has all states, and should be edible! it has 7873 polys and is recolorable, but for now only has the 1 swatch pictured; feel free to add your own.
here's to another year of wonderful memories and shrimpsy insanity, simscord! 🥂 blow out your candles, do the twirl, and age up!
DOWNLOAD: SFS | MF 🦐
credits go to @balkopat for the original white birthday cake, which i recolored, cloned, and edited from their 4t2 conversion; and to @surely-sims for the adorable wedding arch and shrimp toy meshes! also to @skittlesplays, who kinda commissioned this cake in the midst of spam-shrimp sanity. plus of course to my fellow shrimps for always cheering me on 🍤😍
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proof that it works ^-^
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if there are any issues that you find with this cake, please don't be afraid to let me know! happy simming, and when you download this, do keep in mind,
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Love, ~ Ky 💓
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ghulehunknown · 5 months
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Papa Headcanons 🫂🩸
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Day 14 of KINKTOBER is here! 🎃
**WARNING - some NSFW included**
Also available on AO3!
My headcanons of the Papas taking care of you while on your period
Primo
Does not fully understand how painful it is for you, but shows empathy all the same, knowing he’d never want to experience it himself
Holds you in his arms, rubs your shoulders and back, and kisses your forehead
Brings you a heating pad and hot chocolate or tea, or anything in particular you’re craving
He is absolutely fine not having sex or receiving BJs from you and does not bring it up unless you seem particularly keen
Gives you his own edibles made from Ministry-grown marijuana
Stays up to watch a movie with you, holding your hand while you’re curled up in pain but quickly falls asleep next to you
Secondo
Has a stockpile of necessary items for all his ghulehs - pads, tampons, pain meds, heating pads, snacks, etc.
Is usually known throughout the Ministry to have extra tampons under his bathroom sink in case you run out or forgot to put one in your purse
Already has towels down on the mattress and is prepared for sex to get messy
Is fine with getting blood on his dick but prefers to shower right after
He’s also perfectly fine to eat you out
Gives you lots of kisses whenever you want
Massages your back
Terzo
First, curses the universe for punishing you simply for having ovaries and a uterus. Second, praises Lucifer that you’re not pregnant.
Will gladly go to the store to get you anything you want or need, but definitely buys the wrong thing (“Babe, what size pussy do you own?” and proceeds to buy the wrong kind of pad anyway)
Drives you to McDonald’s at 3AM because you woke up hungry and craving fries (because oddly so did he)
“Wahoo, blowjob week!”
Keeps saying “You know the cure for your pains, eh? *waggles eyebrows* The feeeemale orgasm!”
Fucking LOVES the sight of your blood on his dick
Excited to go down on you
Enjoys quiet movie nights when you’re not feeling up to sex
Cardinal Copia
Gulps and gets a little nervous
The sight of blood makes him woozy
He’ll still run to the store for you to get what you need, but gets lost and only brings back half of what you asked for (“They didn’t have it!” he’ll claim, sure that he checked everywhere)
Tells you a story about how one time in elementary school some kid kicked him in the balls so he understands your pain
Nervous about having sex and seeing blood but he would try anything for you if you really wanted to
He’d prefer to make you happy in other ways like giving you snacks and back rubs
Dracopia 🧛
“Your cunt looks especially delicious, tesoro.”
Celebrates your body’s natural cycles and praises Lucifer
He already knows your menstrual cycle and knew you were about to start it before you did
Has pain meds blended up in a smoothie for you
Tells you he didn’t buy tampons at the store because you don’t need them *wink*
Practically cums when he smells fresh blood on you
“You are so wet~” “Copia, it’s blood.” “Ehh, yes I know”
Eats you out like a champ
Popia
He drops whatever he’s doing and goes to the store immediately to bring you snacks and tampons
Gets you whatever snacks you desire and eats half of them
Texts you every step of the way in the store (“Okay I walked inside…okay I turned to the right…10 steps down the…3rd aisle? Okie dokie!”)
Content to just cuddle and watch movies with you
Also content to get blowies but particularly curious about going down on you and how different it might be than usual
Nihil
Still thinks you can’t get pregnant on your period
Thinks you bleed out of your pee hole. Actually, he thinks your vagina is also your pee hole. Actually he doesn’t know. There are 3 holes?!
Grumbles, not understanding your pain, but you return home later and a single rose and some pain meds lay on the nightstand with a Hallmark greeting card that says “get well soon” - he’s too out of his comfort zone to buy pads or tampons
Won’t touch your vagina unless you’ve just showered, but will gladly hint at getting a blowjob
When/if you do have sex he wears it like a badge of honor as if he’s just gone to war and braved some unspeakable fate, almost expecting to get praised for doing so
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rockndluve · 2 months
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dead poets and random shit i did or that has happened in my life that i think they would do as well
long ass title but whatever
neil - giving a late presentation to save my grade in history, half-dressed in my theatre costume, in between two "shows", and then immediately running back to change, bc i only had a total of like 45 minutes in between shows
todd - faking an illness on a monday to not go to school, then "forgetting" to set my alarm for an entire week, therefore skipping an entire week of school bc i didn't feel like going. also just faking/exaggerating stomach issues to skip school (bc school was really stressing me out) so much my mom took me to multiple doctors (which is how we found a barely developed cyst in my stomach)
charlie - spending new years eve with a random group of people in which i only really knew one person, drinking straight vodka with them from the one single glass we had, then, after midnight, going to a random someone's kind-of relative's house, and drinking and chatting with them for another hour b4 going home bc i felt bad (there were children in the house)
knox - comforting a very obviously anxious girl, that was trying to ask me out, saying yes (SOMEHOW not realising she meant it romantically, even though there was literally no other way to read that interaction), then panicking and cancelling the day before bc i'm not into girls
meeks - refusing to smoke throughout basically all of highschool and then taking up smoking after i felt awkward and overstimulated at a party ONCE and went out with my friends for a smoke break, even though they made it clear they did not mind me not smoking
pitts - playing "random word roulette" during creative writing class, where you get random words generated and have to find a way to use them during the lecture (mostly by asking a question), without raising suspicion from the lecturer and have her "take the bait" (resulting in people saying shit like "but is there way to make a art a food? like a poem i could eat like beet soup?" (also it worked and we got another 30 mins of her showing us food-related avant-garde art (sadly no edible art though)))
cameron - befriending my school's librarian and spending 80% of my school breaks in the little school library, chatting with her, despite having a consistent and close group of friends, reading at least two books a week, and getting roped by the librarian to participate in a 'reading comprehension competition' and getting 3rd place bc the book was boring asf (also being really upset about it even though i didn't even want to compete in the first place)
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nimmie-nugget · 7 months
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can you write a one shot about mui accidentally consuming edibles from a stranger on the streets and then completely losing his filter and roasting everyone (including yui) 😨
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~Muichiro loses his Filter~
Warnings: Muichiro speaks, ooc, roasts aren’t roasting, not proofread
Note: Pfft- 🤣🤣🤣 I had some fun writing this one! These are not rlly roasts but it’s the random shizz that came up in my mind at the time I was writing this I’m sorry 😭😭😭 Enjoy! <3 This has been rotting in my drafts for a while now
Masterlist
Hashira Yuichiro AU
Muichiro=Blue, Yuichiro=Purple
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3RD POV
It was currently morning as the Tokito twins just finished their missions. They stopped by a small stand where their was an old man selling treats “Nii-san let’s buy some of those!” Muichiro said pointing at the stand full of treats “We can’t, we need to save our yen for a full meal.” “But Nii-san!!!” He whined as Yuichiro sighed. “Fine, just don’t come asking for my food when your hungry.” He said sternly making sure to raise his tone at the ‘my’ “don’t worry Nii-san! I’d never eat your food because I don’t want you hungry!” Yuichiro gave some yen to his brother as he watched Muichiro run off to the stand, after a few minutes of waiting patiently Muichiro came back. They continued their walk as they were near their destination.
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The twins were currently at a ramen shop as Yuichiro gobbled down on his ramen, his brother Muichiro was sleeping and eventually Yuichiro finished his meal. Yuichiro shakes his brother awake as Muichiro stirred awake.
Muichiro blinked as he stared at his brother for a good 10 seconds until he rubbed his eyes. Muichiro groaned and stared at his brother in disgust “Muichiro stop looking at me like that!” Yuichiro said as he bonked Muichiro’s head “stfu you dumb excuse of a human.” “…I’m gonna kill you.” “Tell me what is a donkey ugly bitch ass lookin stupid woman like you gonna do to me?” Yuichiro deadpanned as Muichiro threw the empty bowl of ramen on the ground and suddenly the owner came out that he was gay and proceeded to scold the younger twin.
“do you ever shut up? This is why you get no hoes lmfao, small pp bald ass bitch” Yuichiro’s face dusted with pink because of embarrassment. “You gozzamn useless ass of a manwhore who can’t even get hoes lol lmao so embarrassing” said Muichiro as Yuichiro’s right hand went to grip his brothers left shoulder and he whisper-shouted in Muichiro’s ear “Muichiro! Shut up! Let’s just go back to our estate!” Muichiro immediately whipped his head towards Yuichiro “your telling me that I live with you!? This is ridiculous!” He said stubbornly.
“How can I! I the one and only live with a mint flavoured with some chocolate ice creamed hair!!!! Muichiro grumbled as Yuichiro deadpanned again “we look the same.” Yuichiro said losing his patience. Yuichiro looked towards the owner who was absolutely frozen, Yuichiro took a fistful of his brothers hair and ran towards their estate dragging Muichiro as he flailed around.
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The twins arrived to their estate as Yuichiro slammed his brother to the ground knocking him out, Yuichiro let out a sigh and he dragged his brothers body to their room. Yuichiro set up two futons and once again slammed his brothers body onto the futon.
Muichiro POV
I groaned as I woke up, I put my left hand on my head only to be met with a slap. I blinked a few times taking in my surroundings as the first person I see is my brother “Nii-san! Why did you slap me!!!” I whined but I didn’t receive an answer, now looking clearly at Yuichiro’s face. It was an unrecognizable expression “I’M GONNA KILL YOUUUUUUUU” oh…it seems it’s gonna be a long day huh…I mentally embraced myself knowing what’s coming.
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Taisho Secrets!
Yuichiro did in fact share his food with his brother 🤗
Yuichiro did not shake his brother awake but instead pulled on Mui’s hair hard enough till Mui woke up😀
Yuichiro is left armless 💪🥰
Yuichiro did not pay for the ramen 😋🍜
Yuichiro killed Muichiro 😱
Yuichiro woke up early to kill Muichiro 🤯
The secrets above all start with Yuichiro 🌫️🗡️
The twins did not bring a lot of money so that explains why Yui was worrying about it-
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I don’t think these are even secrets but they are now bcs I said so😎👌
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redswaberkez · 5 months
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I want your corkscrew hcs!!! just rly anything. It can be fun stuff like his favorite soda or fave movies. Maybe some stuff specific to living in Russia that I'd have no idea was a thing otherwise if u got anything like that! I feel like all my hcs for him will be so lacking because I know so little about living there, but living in Sweden has rly upped my love for learning all the lil mundane differences in daily life from country to country
Okay small and specific shtop hcs leggoo
OUFFF my time has come i guess....finally expirience living in *there* would be useful lmao FIRST of all i wanna mention this one russian song in goin postal playlist
i think its a tribute in shtopors honor. bc like why else rws would put this ru song in there???
ANYWAY.
im not really good at explaining my feelings so im gonna throw a bunch of memes that has STRONG SHTOP VIBES. Memes are the ultimate association language right? im not apologising for klukva (stereotype memes) bc?? original dude is lit basic american trash so errything he knows abt russia is a bunch of stereotypes. makes sense ig
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ok now here goes ru memes💥💥💥💥💥
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(2nd pic: your pigs grunt violates the laws of the Ural (including shutting the rotten mug up, p.18) and i told my bois about it. I hope, your identity will be established. When crossing the border of Ekaterinburg you will kicked the fuck out with bicycle chains. This is Ural, not Moscow) (3rd pic: [i] hate the rednecks)
Ok NOW ONE SPECIFIC THING. once i mentioned that hes an airbone and here, when the national airbone day comes, its a common joke that the ones who served in it will jump into a fontains like PARATROOPERS WOOHOOOO. yea.
Tbh its really hard to tell where is the diff between your culture (i.e ur everyday life) and others when theres nothing to compare with. BUT. ill try
His concept of personal boundaries is really strange and fucked up compare to others bc here [russia] we r suspicious as hell (imo.) but also like a big family. but the cracked one. Or kinda sorta like that. BUT at the same time he is ready to help everyone who need it and he will not ask any questions. Also he would let live his friends in his small flat if they needed to. It would be really tricky tho. Also shtop is really REALLY LOUD. in every sense of the word
Shtopor knows how to survive in harsh conditions. How to make not-that-bad-edible food out of canned food. Just google navy-styled macaroni! (or Makarony po-flotski) yeass NAVY styled aaand hes the "army one". Out of all dudes at least shtop knows how to COOK. blini, macaroni, syrniki, okroshka, - all of it actually cheap, easy and real tasty. LOOK AT OKROSHKA I MEANNNN. cold soup of raw vegetables. ok.
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Shtopor one of those dudes who is a coldfucker. He is actually low-temperatures-proof. (small preface) shtop is an eastern orthodox. AND ANOTHER ONE russkaya zabava. When the baptism of jesus comes we have a tradition to cut out the ICE HOLE in the river AND JUMP INTO IT 👍 or another similar thing when ur hot after the banya you fall into a snowdrift. (banya is like sauna or steam bath. u rarely go to the banya alone.) ((public banyas divides to male and female, commonly yall naked in there, now imagine shtops in public banya and his bi neuron activation haahahah)) (personay i dont really like public banyas cuz its PUBLIC)
Another notable mention i think shtop is actually dgaf what to whatch on tv but he likes to talk with it. That sofa commentators type of ppl u know em. After a really looong day he would mix vodka and beer, sat down in front of tv and gave his VERY IMPORTANT COMMENTS ON LITERALLY EVERY THEME IN THE WORLD in until he fell asleep.
Russian curse words is veeery various, it can contain a lot of definition for one word, but be different on vibes and occasions to use it. U can say an entire sentence without a single cultural word in it. And therefore shtop complains about the lack of swear words in english and often swears in Russian. "--da blyaaaaat' kak zhe zae- -- OH gimme this gun. you started speaking russian which means things are bad." ill brb later with more things but now im kinda tired rn so here u go.
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mariacallous · 4 months
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Hanukkah has always been my favorite Jewish holiday. I love all of it: Friends and family gathering together, watching children open their presents, cheery songs to sing when lighting the candles, the celebration of triumph over evil and the opportunity to eat fried food and happily justify it. Of course, no Jewish holiday is complete without each family’s edible traditions.  
Our family are Bagdadi Jews from Bombay and Calcutta, and have wonderful culinary traditions from Iraq and India for every Jewish holiday. For example, cheese sambusak are always served to break the Yom Kippur fast, and leek fritters are always served at our Rosh Hashanah seder. On Hanukkah, we enjoy all sorts of delicious fried food, from latkes and donuts to zalabia; however, I am always on the lookout for something new to add to our repertoire.
My Aunty Ruby who grew up in Calcutta, India recalls being taken as a child by her parents to KC Dass, a sweet shop close to where they lived, after Passover to have gulab jamun: a small, milky donut which has been deep-fried and soaked in cardamom and saffron syrup. She said they would dream about the little creamy treats all Passover, and would count down the minutes until they could eat them. 
This got me thinking that they would make an amazing addition to our Hanukkah table: They’re fried, to symbolize the oil lasting eight days; they contain dairy, to celebrate the heroism of Judith, slayer of the general Holofernes; and they’re soaked in syrup — well there doesn’t need to be a reason to eat anything soaked in syrup!   
Gulab jamun is one of India’s most famous deserts, though it was introduced by the Persians around 500 BC. The word “gulab” is derived from the Persian words “gol” (flower) and “ab” (water), which refer to the sweet’s rose water-scented syrup. Interestingly, gulab jamun is commonly served at Diwali, the Indian festival of lights, which, much like our own festival of lights, Haunkkah, celebrates bringing light into the world and good triumphing over evil. 
Want to learn how to make Gulab Jamun and other fried Indian Jewish sweets? Join Joanna Nissim for a live class on Sunday, December 3rd at 7:00 pm! You can sign up here for the class.
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✨Magical Motivating Strawberry Rosemary Sorbet✨
Having trouble sticking with a project or a daily practice? Do you have big plans but you’re not quite sure how to start? Might I suggest a delicious strawberry spell!
Strawberries contain the magic of devotion to fertility (and no I don’t mean it that way.) You can ask strawberry to help you devote yourself to a meaningful practice where you may not see the fruits of your labor for a while. Think learning an instrument, starting a business, or sticking with actually journaling every day.
Reproducing primarily through runners, strawberry gives of herself until the young plants are well established, and can even support the runners into maturity if there is no viable soil around. Strawberry is all about support and follow through. The mantra I used for this spell follows that logic. “I see my projects through and give of myself what is needed of me.” Here’s hoping this gets me motivated to finish my web design project!
Sorbet Supplies✨
🍓Blender
🍓Ice Cream Maker
Magical Supplies✨
🍓Candle (orange for motivation, or white for general purposes)
🍓Crystals (tiger’s eye for shaking off lethargy, amethyst for purpose, and a clear quartz point to direct the energy. It’s also fine to not have crystals!)
Ingredients✨
🍓2 Quarts of Strawberries (ideally fresh and in-season, but frozen or out of season will work too!)
🍓Juice of Less Than One Lemon (to balance flavor)
🍓Pinch of Salt (to balance flavor)
🍓Fresh Rosemary (1 medium sprig) (to protect your intentions)
🍓1 cup of sugar
🍓A few tablespoons of water (just enough to make a simple syrup with the sugar)
🍓Fresh Chamomile Flowers for Garnish (or an extra couple rosemary needles or skip the garnish)
Instructions✨
1. Make some magic. Light your candle and bring in your relevant crystals.
2. If your berries are fresh and not frozen, wash em!
3. Decapitate your berries (cut the green tops off.) You can use a little knife or melon baller or even your thumb nail.
4. Enchant your berries. Hold as many of them as you can in your cupped hands and imagine an orange mist swirling around them while you say your mantra. When you’re done, drop them in the blender and blend them until consistent, then add to a large mixing bowl. (If you have too many berries for the blender cup, blend the berries in batches.)
5. Mince the rosemary. You should have about a tablespoon minced. Then, cup the minced rosemary in your hands and enchant it with a white light of protection. Then add it to a saucepan.
6. Add your sugar and water to that saucepan, with the heat on medium high. Make sure you add enough water for it to be a syrup and not a caramel. Maybe 3-4 tablespoons, maybe more. Stir to dissolve, and then turn the heat down to very low and simmer for 5 minutes. Turn off the heat and rest the syrup with the lid on for a few minutes to let the flavor infuse.
7. Add 2/3rds of the syrup to the strawberry purée along with a tablespoon of lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Stir to combine. Stir longer than you think you will need to, because the mix is thick and the flavors won’t distribute unless you distribute them with purpose. Taste, and then add more syrup if needed. It should taste slightly sweeter than you would like, because freezing mellows the sweetness. Keep adjusting and mixing until it tastes right.
8. Add it to your ice cream maker and churn until thick but not totally set (it’ll finish setting up in the freezer.) 15 minutes to a half hour. Freeze for at least 2 hours before scooping.
9. Scoop and garnish with edible flowers or leftover fresh rosemary needles.
10. Eat with intent :)
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jellymeduza · 11 months
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March and April updates
(oh, look I’m actually posting an update post on the first day of month!)
15th of March 2023: Chris Hatch hospital mod + visit other Sims made compatible with witches only fly if have broom, CJH’s hospitals, visits and Midge’s ‘witches only fly if have broom’ - Globe edition - added compatibility plug-in for piqiwi’s Holidays. It is needed for CJH_Hospital_and_Visit_AL_globe, CJH_Hospital_and_Visit_AL_globe_riders, CJH_VisitOtherSims_AL_globe, CJH_VisitOtherSims_AL_globe_riders, CJH_Hospital_and_Visit_AL, CJH_Hospital_and_Visit_AL_riders versions of CJH’s mod. “PetsToAL” versions of Hospitals mod don’t require this plug-in. It should load after CJH’s and piqiwi’s mods.
18th of March 2023: eat from inventory - edibles created in hand will take recolor of the object removed from inventory. If a Sim has several different recolors of the same edible in inventory, they’ll eat the first recolor of that object in their inventory. Unfortunately, it doesn’t fix SSN apple, orange and lemon being always pale. To make the most of this update, I added Aysarth’s cheese to other edibles category. I also increased the gain from eating - it used to be 8/100, now it’s 1/10.
24th of March 2023: Katara braid - added toddler stage 
25th of March 2023: custom date reward - added invisible recolor of the note that’s placed between teddy and the heart it’s holding
29th of March 2023: Bigfoot mod - removed the plug-in that got rid of InTeen checking custom globals as Pick’N’Mix Sims​‘ uploaded new version of InTeen Check that doesn’t conflict with piqiwi’s custom globals. Remove “zWH_Broadcaster_Ageing_NoInteen” and put into your download “WH_InTeenCheck2″ and updated version of Age Transition Messages. My ‘messages’ versions of “Meduza_BigfootOutfitChangeAge” are still valid and you don’t have to remove or update them.
30th of March 2023: sell cure from inventory, herbal crafting station - added versions with the correct Polish translation of “flu” to match Lenna9′s fix. Old versions are still available if you want “katar” dialogs instead of “grypa” ones.
3rd of April 2023: Bigfoot mod - added compatibility patches for bstu’s Teen Grad Book mod, Cyjon’s Semester Changes and Nopke’s goToCollegeWantSatisfiedBeforeGrowingUp
4th of April 2023: edit of HB’s ecoFriendly-hydrophobic_bathAutonomy - added compatibility versions for TwoJeffs’ Bath Autonomy Fixes
4th of April 2023: Juicer tweaks compilation, Rebecah’s juicer with tweaks compilation - added French and Polish translations
10th of April 2023: dance competitions with NL DJ booth -  added new compatibility plug-in zz_Meduza_Lenna9_LdDarcy_NL_DJBooth_danceCompetition_TextFix. Download this file if you are using Lord Darcy’s Pie Menu Text Strings Fix or Lenna9’s Polish Translation Fix. Make my plug-in load after Lenna-TranslationFix or LdDarcy_PieMenuTextStringsFix (whichever you are using) and after my base mod - Meduza_NL_DJbooth_dancecompetition.
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theirloveisgross · 2 years
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Got home a couple of hours ago so I haven't checked MUCH of tumblr so forgive me if this was figured out already. I wasn't even planning on figuring it out, it just... happened.
Right! I always love seeing H in football enviroments. I wanted to know which day the photos were from because I wanted to know what match he was watching, jahshassha.
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First, his skin tone. I figured they were from the beginning of the Euros, since he was dillydallying in Italy after that. ALSO, note his nails. Always a giveaway, thanks H.
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This photo is from July 3, in Rome, where he attended the Euros Quarter-finals, England 4-0 Ukraine. See? That man is tan af. There were also a couple of photos with some fans but the fingernails I could see in the pictures were the wrong fingers to compare.
Thanks to @louisshomesharry's very useful timelines, I noticed we had seen H in London on June 12, and what do you know...
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Same nails, same skin tone, same shorts, same sunglasses. Safe to say the Euro photos we got today were from June 13 2021: England's first match, they beat Croatia 1-0.
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Other fun facts:
Harry then arrived in Venice on June 14 to finish shooting My Policeman.
Louis was last seen on June 10, meeting a bunch of fans outside the recording studio in London. He then went MIA until June 29, where he popped up at a pub to watch England v. Germany, and then kept being out and about in pubs and public spaces where football matches were being screened.
There were rumours of Louis being spotted in Italy during his MIA time, but only receipts so... However, there were some funny Louis tweets, yknow, weather is shit because "it's England, love", etc etc.
Harry was last seen in Italy on July 3rd, the day of the match. After filming was done, he was photographed alone enjoying some time off, and theeen... dillydallying with the stunt started on June 30. Lol.
Don't you just love... science and edibles.
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sir-dyke-genderpunk · 11 months
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CW FOR DRUGS, OVERDOSE AND ALSO VOMIT BUT THIS NEEDS TO GET AROUND
HEY. FUCKING LISTEN. THIS IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT FOR THE SAFETY OF SO MANY PEOPLE. If you see the Vance Delta 8 brand being advertised, do not buy it. For the love of fucking god please do not buy it, at least not online. Most YouTuber sponsors are scams (not the YouTubers faults they need money somehow), but it made me fucking disgusted to see this brand sponsoring YouTubers and trying to get more people into their shit. This brand is DANGEROUS.
I'm a chronic stoner. I'm friends with a bunch of chronic stoners. I've also done drugs a lot harder than pot. After taking a 2/3rds of a Vance brand edible, I threw up more than I've ever thrown up in my ENTIRE life. It was fucking grotesque, not to get graphic but there was a pile of vomit the size of my entire body on the pavement when I was done and I had to get carried back to my dorm. This isn't a normal reaction to have to what should be akin to a marijuana high as someone that smokes every day and eats edibles frequently.
I wasn't the only one one who had a bad experience though, out of the group of people I was taking the gummies with, every single person has a similarly bad experience. At least one other person threw up just as much as I did when taking them a separate time. Another person who took them didn't know where they were. One of my friends is convinced he almost died, but that could've been the drugs making him paranoid. They would also make us sweat PROFUSELY when we took them, a pretty clear sign of lacing or otherwise taking a drug you did Not mean to take.
We definitely shouldn't have kept taking them after the first experience, but considering how well branded Vance is as a company, we first thought we might not be dosing it correctly ourselves. But every single time, without fail, one of the things I mentioned above occured until we finally decided to stop taking them. And that was fine, until the person who originally bought them sold them to another person (who I also know is a stoner) who ended up having a paranoid episode and needed help getting back to their dorm.
That's why I don't feel right not doing everything in my power to get the word out. I felt so fucking guilty knowing that those edibles got sold to another person I was aquatinted with on campus. I cant sit here and watch YouTubers I genuinely enjoy advertise this brand in good faith.
In hindsight, we assumed we had actually bought something like spice or k2. Could be laced too I guess, but it made sense to us at least considering our reactions along with the fact that LOTS of information on their website is nondisclosed, and also that Delta 8 is synthetic ""fake weed"" and so is k2. I'm not an expert though, this was just the theory we had to help us come to terms with what we went through.
Hell, the first red flag should've been how easy it was to get delivered to our college campus while none of us were old enough to legally buy at the time.
So imagine my shock when I saw YouTubers happily advertising this brand a few months later as being an eco-friendly, healthy alternative to just buying a cart or some edibles at your local dispensary. This is legitimately so fucking scummy.
I'm not saying every batch of Vance gummies is laced with spice or some other shit. CLEARLY not everything they sell is a dud because they wouldn't even be able to have these sponsors if there wasn't some amount of testing done legally. The sponsors usually use them at least a little, so it seems none of the sponsors have yet had bad experiences. But drugs are serious fucking business. And not only do they have these potentially dangerous drugs in circulation, once again they were also exceedingly easy for us to order even though none of us were 21. Who's watching YouTubers the most? Kids. Teenagers.
None of the videos I've seen Vance sponsor for have even been age restricted. Even if a YouTubers primary demographic isn't kids or teenagers, it is impossible to not know that a large portion of the audience is inevitably going to be kids in the early to late teens especially. Brands like this know who they're advertising to when they do things like this.
Who's to say for every 50 batches of Vance gummy packages there's not 1 dud package? Or that the company isn't giving out real shit to exclusively YouTubers? It's always better to be safe than to be sorry, especially when it comes to getting kids potentially hooked on drugs. I'm pro-drug use, pro-harm reduction, and pro-complete legalization, and I still think it is completely morally reprehensible for companies to be advertising drugs--but ESPECIALLY drugs that could be laced or dangerous--to children through the use of their favorite YouTubers.
Not to mention these sponsors like to subtly imply that buying from Vance and online stores in general is a safer alternative to shopping at dispensaries, something that is objectively so untrue it gives me tunnel vision when I think about it for too long. Dispensaries need to be CERTIFIED to be able to sell anything. All of their products must be lab tested or they can't sell them. They aren't allowed to withhold information from you. Not to mention MANY dispensaries (at least in the US) are Native-owned small businesses. Every single bad experience with a drug I've had was from drugs that I bought online. Chances are if you don't have to go to the dark web to find it, it's probably either a scam or dangerous.
Please please please spread the word about this. I feel like I've waiting for something bad to happen to either one of the people sponsoring these gummies or someone who bought some after seeing a YouTube advertisement. I don't want anyone to have to feel that guilt, and I don't want to see anyone hurt or worse over a shady YouTube sponsorship.
Don't buy Vance Delta 8 products for your own safety.
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j3-4n · 2 months
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Yesterday was…idk man, it started off horrific, was good for a while then It was bad again.
Binged Thursday, purged, fell asleep for 2-3hrs, felt like shit, cried abt my dad for hours then I started the essay that was due Friday stopped at 3:17AM
Woke up tired af, got salt in my eye, mom was bitching me out for making coffee, coughing, being tired, it was awful, 1st period English X I had to do more of my essay tired af, I was using dip to keep myself awake most of the day
Then 2nd period psychology, tbh I love love love love love psych and I popped a fresh pack of dip & cvt my upper hips/waistband in the bathroom during that period to wake myself up.
Lunch I ate an edible, 3rd I did my math test while blazed af, I’mma definitely come back here and post what I got on that test.
Then last period art ll, can barley remember what I did, but I know I cooked.
Got home immediately binged, mom wasn’t home till 11, n so I just went home ate, slept, n now it’s 1:28AM, I need to fix my sleeping schedule bad
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luckyluxlady · 9 months
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I used to follow you on here on an old account, u were doing SW and living life and being fabulous. I just came back to this hell site, and you're getting married?! congrats girl, still living life & being fabulous I presume xo did u stop sw altogether now, I need a story (like the olden days!! haha)
Yes I’m getting married very soon 🥹 I’m not doing SW much anymore, I stopped taking new clients in January and have been only seeing my regulars for longer appointments since then but I’m slowly stopping. I haven’t worked in about a month now and I don’t think I’m going to anymore unless something really good comes up lol. I’ll be fully retiring by the end of the year and deleting everything.
As far as a story I don’t even know where to start, 3 years ago I was feeling so stuck with dating. I was still hung up over my ex and it was a pandemic which of course made it extra hard to meet people. I ended up doing some edibles and getting really high and having this weird spiritual revelation where I released all of the feelings about my ex and forgave myself for a lot. It was a very intense experience but felt so good 😂 I ended up writing a manifestation letter during this and I pretty much wrote it as if I was thanking the universe for my dream man, and listing out all his qualities and his personality and everything. I can post the full letter if anyone is interested. I wrote it on July 3rd 2020, and I met my soon to be husband 3 weeks later 😳 he’s everything I asked for and more. Everything I want and need 💗 highly recommend writing out a letter like this lol
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fluorescentbrains · 19 days
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do u have any kimharry fic recs, i feel like you have good taste in terms of their characterisation
i do! i don’t why but i’ve been going through their tag like a rabid animal since january. i feel like a lot of the stuff that comes up when you sort by kudos is pretty good (except for The Man Who 2/3rds Wasn’t There. i usually wouldn’t do an anti-rec but that one is very high up in the tag and Actually pissed me off), but here are a few gems i found while digging:
Imprinting: this author really captures the feeling of playing the game in that harry does some things that are SO cringe and he fucks up SO bad it physically hurts you. but it’s okay in the end. they don’t get together (yet) but there’s a Feelings Realization that’s very satisfying and feels earned. there’s also a sequel that’s still a WIP; I’ve been putting off reading it so I don’t have to wait for chapters.
WHISKEY BAR: another fic by the same author as Imprinting. they MAKE MISTAKES and HAVE A HUGE FIGHT and then CRY ABOUT IT before kissing and making up. delicious
The Meaning of St. Valprin’s Day and Aperture: not by the same author but I’m putting them together because they’re short, rated T, and very sweet. they just really like each other :)
Retour à nouveau: slow burn kim POV case fic my beloved ❤️❤️❤️
Breakthrough Imminent: porn with character analysis, but more silly than serious. i love when harry is kim’s manic pixie dream weird guy
A Lethal Dose for Humans: definitely read the tags on this one; it’s VERY explicit and there are drugs (just weed, but like, too much of it) involved. also i’ve literally never read such an accurate depiction of being Too Fucking High on edibles.
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