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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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• JENIFER “JEN” MARLOWE •

IG Info/bio: @/justjenw1n | 220k followers | Fashion | just a LUVer who owns a lovely blog that you’re more than welcome to check out here... astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk 🪞🛍🪄

22 (24) (25 in 2021) years of age

From London, England

Her family has French origins

Tends to visit once a year mainly with her family

For her 18th bday, her parents also sent her to Paris with her bf that she’s been dating since she was 14

they broke up since he wanted to stay in Paris to pursue his dreams and she felt like she needed to be back home...which she felt Paris was not

Extremely close to her parents, some may say a little TOO close...

See, I feel like jen comes from a family that spoils her where her parents did everything and took care of everything for her. She had the privilege and didn’t have to work too hard to get things she wanted so that made her a little bit different than a few of her friends, hell—even her bf

Didn’t have to work until she reached her twenties

She also didn’t have too many friends because her parents felt like her cousins and/or her sibs were really only allowed to hold that title

However her parents had some sort of a soft spot for her when they allowed her to date her bf at 14 since he came from a nice background...

And to have at least 1-2 best friends...

I can’t decide if I see her having 3 other sibs with her being the second eldest, or her being the eldest with a younger sister? I can also see her being a only child too? Idk y’all can decide

Because her family is a tight knit one, she values everything they say and do...which is canon/evident

She got her thigh tattoo in Paris and even thought about asking her parents permission but her bf talked her out of it

she later showed them that night while he was in the shower. Her mother openly disapproved saying it was, “unladylike or unclean” while her father was more lenient towards it

Her mother even scheduled her for laser appointments but this was one of the things jen was sure of, she loved her tattoo and she didn’t want to erase it from her body which led to her mother not speaking to her for about a month—even tho they live in the same household

I feel like she looks more like her dad with her mom’s hair and smile

Got into fashion due to her maternal grandmother who seemed to live a extravagant life as a old time actress, she always had and owned the finest of things

Jen loved having sleepovers there, it felt like she had her own personal Liz Taylor inside of her nan...but better!

Definitely found inspiration through Liz Taylor, Kate Moss, Victoria Beckham, and Naomi Campbell

she had no clue what she wanted to do in life (she never had to think too hard about it until now, it’s true what they say about your twenties) and she made the choice not to continue thru with uni & I’m not going to make her out to be the stereotypical “dumb blonde” I think she did well in school—so she kinda just chilled after it was all over

Her first job at 20 was probably working in retail where she learned all about the bs you put up with but she loved clothes! That never changed

So she decided 6 months into her job that she was going to make a fashion blog

she made one separate from her tumblr but kept it under construction since she needed to brain storm what exactly this blog would entail

It didn’t take too long to her to figure it out by how she wanted the blog to look then discussing pieces from celebs/models then slowly discussing her own wardrobe + advice

She didn’t immediately gain success for it —altho she did have a good 1k people follow her thru her tumblr where she also provided the link to her separate blog... but she worked/works hard at it, hoping one day it’ll get her somewhere and that maybe she can get paid for it too?

Retail fucking sucks and people are horrible twats so when she was approaching 21 she deff quit with her parents still hammering...more so her dad on what she needs to do with her life but she found happiness in her blog and no one was going to take that away from her —not even her parents

‘What’s the use of working if it doesn’t make you happy?’ She thinks but again! she has the privilege of living under her parents roof and not having to pay bills so she didn’t have to worry too much rn she knows they’d never kick her out right?

she has two bunnies named “bugsy” and “Lola”—u know the reference right?

I feel like she values the flinstones & jetsons because it was something her dad loved watching as a kid and still does , probably has the dvds showcased in her room that she watches when she feels sad

Seems like a smiley person but when she’s sad? It kinda sucks to see cause she turns into a whole different person and she always seems happy with a smile so wide that turns her eyes squinty

If she disagrees with something, she’s 100% giving her opinion whether you like it or not? Wrong is wrong. But when the shoe is on the other foot? She hates being wrong LOL or doesn’t view herself being wrong. Doesn’t take accountability well...at all!

She’s also showed her ass by being a gossiper and fake as hell with Allegra about mc with the whole, “let’s pretend like we’re there for her” if you’re not fucking with somebody just say that or SHOW it sis cause that snakey shit will come back to bite you in the ass (I forgot about this lol as I’m replaying)

she’s all “mega resting bitch face” until she breaks out into a large smile

Libra sun? + Virgo moon? + Gemini rising?

I feel like she only knows what she wants when it comes to relationships but not with the rest of life?

Lol she was very determined with levi in the beginning, explored shit with jake, (I can’t remember if that was after you/mc showed a interest in him or not in that route? I’m doing a talia/Rohan route rn But that’s kinda foul if she’s smiling in ur face and then boom goes and does what she wants but hey that’s the game right? Fck that tho) and then stood by Tim after only some time?

She wasn’t feeling him in the beginning either cause he thought she was too posh for him and snakey which he’s right to some degree but she’s also right if she finds him too immature for her liking

To you jim? Ten? Stans— Idk what their ship name is but it probably wouldn’t have worked out in the long run either because I don’t see both of them wanting to change themselves completely to satisfy the other. (Tim tried) Sure if you’re showing unhealthy behaviors and are open to diminishing that for yourself then trying to work on your relationship then that’s great! But they already started from the jump not liking each other’s personalities/characteristics....

And hey! Ofc I know people grow to like things they might have disliked about you in the beginning but you can also find yourself not fully accepting it in a relationship and that doesn’t mean you didn’t try

+ it’s been hinted at that they’re not endgame & if you love yourself some Tim not platonically then this works in ur favor. if not? Then you can keep them endgame by all means! For me? That endgame shit is a no! For those that don’t gaf about either of them that’s fine too lmao

YES I feel like they were both hurt over the breakup and it probably happened right around the holidays or either a couple of months after Christmas/New Years 2019

Jen is probably the type to keep checking up on her ex, not necessarily talking to them but finding out who they’re with now

and if it’s Tim with mc she’s definitely gossiping about the shit with erikah and Allegra or making shady tweets or posts on IG for sure

“5 outfits to wear when you run into your ex” type posts on her blog looool

She hopes if she runs into Tim, she’s looking her best and she would 80% go up to him & mc/his new girl if not mc and be all huggy with him and holding conversation before she even thinks to acknowledge mc/new girl and when she does it’s a shady convo with fake smiles

Absolutely loves watching housewives so she was prepared for that moment if it ever does come

Her parents openly didn’t like Tim which made him feel like shit since it seemed like jen never defended him in front of them but again, she values her parents opinion and always wants their stamp of approval that’s just the way the girl is/ was brought up

She owes them everything but deep down knows that in her relationship with Tim she could have been a little more understanding of his needs like he was with her love for her parents...but she’ll never admit that

Doesn’t get over breakups as easily as it may seem like her exes do in her opinion.

It sure didn’t take long with Tim to date mc/new girl months after they broke up! Which was like a slap in the face

The ex bf she spent time w in Paris who looks like Matthew Noszka is now engaged, lives in AMERICA—& of all places??? California to be exact, and just released his debut album!! She knows which songs are probably about her, it’s a nice album she screamed about it for hours into her pillow and cried for what felt like weeks

Lost her voice over that breakdown too

Her mother even went as far as sending a nasty letter to this ex bf’s new address...since ya know? jen’s dad is a private investigator & all!!! but dad had no knowledge of this being done

She’s still fond of Levi and jake but not like in love with them? Like she thought/felt she was with Tim but she still considers them her mates

Maybe in 2021 she’ll be open to dating again and hopes erikah and Allegra will be her wingwomen when the time comes BUT she’s focusing on her blog rn and it’s the best it’s ever been!

She had the show to thank for that now that she has a manager and is getting paid for running her blog now! That’s right this girl is officially employed!

“At least one good thing came from the show ;) 🧽🥐🥂” type of tweets

There’s never not a moment where she’s not connecting her posts whether thru ig or Twitter to her blog: astoldbyjenmarlowe.co.uk!!!

Both erikah and Allegra talk a little shit about that together...WHEN they DO talk, the pair only really socialize when jen initiates it but if one pisses the other off?? they’re going to gossip about it with the other forsure

She doesn’t look that tall to me? Taller than erikah? 5’2-5’5 the 5 is pushing it for me? Maybe? lol I’m still deciding between her and Allegra far as height and I’m too lazy to go back and see what I put for her

Hates straightening her hair, that pin straight look is not cute to her. She loves having waves and body to her hair

Get her eyebrows micro bladed since she doesn’t have much hair up there to begin with

Adores French cuisine, always has since she was a little girl. Bisque used to be her fav back then and all that she would eat

Loves spring season especially pastel colors when it comes to her wardrobe

The type to say one thing and do the complete opposite

I feel like she probably has a little bit of lisp and it’s not really noticeable until she says some words, she’s insecure about it and thought it had something to do with the structure of her teeth and begged her parents to get them fixed but it literally had nothing to do with them

Yet she still got colorful braces in middle school even tho her teeth were pretty straight. She didn’t have to wear them for a whole year, thank goodness

Went to speech therapy to help

Has stacks of fashion magazines even from the early 90s all over her room: her night stand, her vanity, her closet, underneath her bed etc...

Adores the Hadid sisters, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, & Georgia May Jagger

Makes the best white chocolate chip (that’s right, white not just regular chocolate) banana bread but cooking/baking? Isn’t really her thing

Early riser

Loves yellow: yellow phone case, yellow laptop, yellow room, yellow tulips, yellow shades, etc...

Getting Prada shades was probably one of the best things that happened to her, s/o to her nan for granting her this wish

Words of affirmation is her love lanaguage, this girl is a talker and a bit of a thinker too I mean duh? She runs a blog

Likes bright colors on her toes but nude and clear polish on her hands?

Loves a good mascara but she also loves magnetic lashes but is trying her best to grow her lashes out rn! Thanks to erikah for sending her some good ol’ coconut oil!

Smokey eyes? Set her up

Gets a belly ring, and two more tatts one in between her boobs and the last on her ankle & that one she shed a tear over!

Maybe she’ll start changing her physical attributes more so than the way she carries her life at first? (Or ever) She’ll cut her hair below her collarbone to the top of her chest, and maybe she’ll try a light light LIGHT brunette (she loves being a natural blonde) with blonde highlights? Who knows

loves espadrilles and wedge sandals

Loves going wine tasting and visiting vineyards, if she’s vacationing? You can bet ur ass she’s looking for a vineyard to visit

Deff a lightweight

Here’s her unpopular opinions on s2: Thought Felix was a wannabe Tim and hates the fact that he follows her, thought graham was unattractive and said so to Allegra who snickered, thought marisol’s clothing choices were rather boring,

didn’t feel 100% bad for Hannah but disagrees with the way Gary and noah spoke about her + the way Gary tried to slide back over to Hannah on her comeback episode

but doesn’t feel like Lottie is wrong for choosing Gary after Hannah left

isn’t a fan of priya but is glad she’s doing fashion since jen strongly believes in if something isn’t making u happy then u need to let it go

Thinks Hope should have won and cannot tolerate Bobby. Feels he’s WORSE than Felix,

would be open to dating Ibrahim or Carl from that szn

has spoken to Harry from s3 due to his drunkenness and actually made a friend out of him? But low key wants to get to know seb? Take that info as u will 👀

Her anthem: Michelle — SUNRISE

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gleeandshame · 3 years

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Semi-liveblogging

A New York Christmas Wedding, indie Netflix movie... All I know is it’s on Netflix, there’s not a trailer, and uh, it’s wlw??? SPOILERS below!

WTF did they say “you’re not my girlfriend”

“She can’t know you like me” and then immediate fornication, I Do Not Want

Okay, we’re expecting like Lifetime or Hallmark Channel levels of writing on this I see...

Wait did she say her best friend died? Or I wasn’t paying attention. From watching later uh, maybe she said they lost touch, i mean, a BFF would be like the person Who you would think it would be but...

Asian wlw extras!!! intimacy :’)

(Wonder if she’ll be bi or gay)

Blah blah, mom is insufferable

Oh but so... is this a called off wedding then, I guess it’s her wedding, like that’s what the signs point to... huuuh.... Like, I hope there’s not cheating involved or I’ll be very :/

Wow, sassy BFF gay angel, lol

“You shouldn’t under estimate love during Christmas”

Here comes gay supernatural sh*t (at least I hope)

Gay angel, is she just gonna see 1000 gay signs tomorrow? Lol

I sincerely forgot his name, like Abziel or something, I’m sorry gay angel

oh right, i kept thinking they would be cold, but this is 6 mo before Christmas. today is a really chilly night for me

Azrael, I was close. I only remember it because it’s marked by the captions

Her fiance does have a nice back though

hate when there’s unnecessary flashback v.o. in stuff, just have a thoughtful look, feel okay with being quiet!!!

OH MY GOSH TRANSPORTED TO A GAY LIFE, I f*cking love it!!!

the light pouring in from the window and it’s looking all foggy.

They have a dog named Smudge :’)

Oh my gosh they’re having a meeting with a reverand or something for their gay wedding???

her tentativly grabbing the leash, i’m hear for this, thank you gay angel, there are endless amount of signs!!! lol.

I love smudges eyebrows!!!!

Oh thank you A... Azrael, i forgot Jennifer’s name for the whole movie (okay i took a couple hour break but still)

OKAY, the best friend is dead, or WAS dead. i was like how is this gonna work out, oooh.

This is rated MA and I think maybe just from cussing? We’ll see. So far she has said f*ck, lol

Those Christmas pajamas were corny, but it’s a family so that’s allowed. Bye David.

I hope I have a gay guardian angel

He said others are alive. is she gonna see her dad?

ghost of gays past

gosh dang it a flashback... it’s okay, it’s hopefully you know an inexperienced writer or filmmakers and they can get better.

I hope her dad is there

Oh but I forgot to mention since i wasn’t liveblogging from the start, uuuuuhhhh, why did she throw the cookies away, she was still there and her dad. Teens are so dramatic

where’s the dog? did she return the dog and go to her dads... wait, no he’s driving her home, Did they not want a dog in the car... lol

smudge? Smudge??? Lol. okay, i’ll ignore the filmmaking and continuity aspect.

Slide show interesting

Oh really noticing the handheld shakiness right now though

did that girl really sing it? doesn’t look like that voice comes out of that body

gays in a church, i’m feeling emotional (I know they’re not necessarily gay I’m using it as an umbrella term)

“you are my queen and I am your peasant” - this is like who’s the handmaiden and who’s the feudal lord meme, lol

why would a pastor.... whatever they’re call had a picture of just two church goers... parishioners? (can you tell I’m not catholic, are they catholic?)

Dang, they gonna fight to have a wedding here? Like personally if he said sh*t I would want to be married by him, but I guess the location does mean a lot to them.

They really be throwing Jennifer into this talk with no clue. Azrael give a girl some hints!!

Did the priest tell her to get an abortion? That’s the implication right? He wouldn’t say it though. Dang.

Eeesh, is this the f*ckboy that was with ... Gabby in the beginning? Never heard a boy trying to be a unicorn in a wlw relationship. Yike....

lol, yeah she told him to f*ck himself. and punched him in the face, LOOOOL

Awww, she told her dad about her crush on her BFF???

Lol, Jennifer getting excited about talking to her dad, and Gabby is like, babe, u see him everyday

Aw, a song in spanish

i didn’t mention earlier but afro-latinx yaaa. Noice

hmmm, yeah i mean it would be a little awkward bringing up a childhood/teenage fight

being forced to read the note by gabby and saying “out loud” nice device to make it natural to the audience

smudge is my favorite character

lol sorry, but if it’s christmas, is it christmas christmas, i don’t want this to be over. can she at least make out with her wife! is this day one or day two :/ okay i’ll just watch and see

DANG THAT WOULD BE INTIMATE ARM TOUCHES FOR A BFF

i only snuggled like once on a bed with one of mine.

O Christmas Tree playing during this make out is killing me

that was soft. just making out and some but rubbing but all just in undies, that’s nice

ok i think father is gonna do the old switcheroo on us. but this verse is engaging my fight or flight

Entertaining how neutral all these ppl’s faces are during this sermon, like realistic, lol....

okay there’s like one smile. there’s nodding now

(i know ppl would be upset realistically too)

Oh snap a man is walking out, okay yeah. There’s maybe three

LOL. I really did walk out once during a slippery slope sermon. Hate that white man took over one of my churches and he wasn’t even certified. I just sat on the curb until closing worship.... mmmm

did this man just invite all the lgbtq ppl up??

I wouldn’t want that attention, LOOOL........ i get it’s supposed to be a nice moment but, what?

They all have partners? Dang, where’s my partner at church (lol, church is hardly a thing anymore right now anyway :’) )

I DON”T want no SURPRISE WEDDING THAT IS JUST IN FORNT OF CHURCH PPL

glad they acknowledged that looong pause in a natural way

Imagine trying to attnd christmas service, and then it’s a secret wlw wedding

One of the gay couples, I”M SCREAMING, looks like a married couple at my current church, lol. I mean not like exactly, but same essense and energies

That SLITTTT, what a power move for a wedding dress / reception dress

Very weird lighting but i’ll ignore it

u don’t need to applaud the priest...

“to the day i die” (to the day i die) echo, echo... , that’s some corny audio

OH my goshhh??? is he the aborted BABY, whaiuhufheruahcyuahdsbhabshdfbahsbdfa

or their dead baby, whatever it was unclear on purpose. oh myy gosh????

what the f*ck david coming to get Jennifer like a horror movie

“what’s a smudge”

hmm i wonder how this can conclude

that map i huge on the console??? i don’t know modern cars

Gabrielle and I were mar-- we were baptized. LOLL, why woudl they just give away info about a parishioner

David must just be like, wtf is she on

oh okay, no abortion, just miscarriage

What, huhhh. this lady is same sex married too??? but the priest was kicked out?

is david gonna be biphobic

oh i guess not, that’s good

sliding doors? by Gbby’s son, Jennifer needs to get her girl

Me saying this show needs to let there be silence vs me almost falling asleep while she makes a decision. I MEAN, to be fair it’s almost 6am and i haven’t slept yet, lol

okay, but we didn’t spend enough time with Azrael for me to be sad that he’ll be gone, sorry not sorry

“it can wait” ... i.e. love can wait, be careful, i.e. use a condom

that’s entirely too many candy canes

i wonder if these kids are gonna have to carry the rest of the film?

these kids are the most chill! good they both like women and each other

they 3d printed a man just so he could be a gay angel

OH NO I watchd to the end of the credits and the guy on piano died this year

okay, so overall, p cute. Cute enough. It probably satisfied only about 33% of my cute wlw quota though. Corny and a bit awkward, but, i think gays deserve not high quality cinema as well. Lol. i half recommmend it, but it’s not costing you antyhing but time on Netflix.

okay, I sleep

#a new york christmas wedding #a new york christmas wedding spoilers #spoilers #...#mmmmmm

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xllxxrbxg · 3 years

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so ayon nga hehe

so ayon nga mga marecakes hehe narrate ko na lang nangyari today.

so i was like chilling today right im all set for school because i did my homeworks naman days before it was needed so i was like, "aight lets get this shit today". tapos karlo message me he wanted cuddles eh i was like hMMM... we just made out the other day eh and its like tuesday palang today !! i told him nalang na make it happen, not rlly thinking he would make it happen. but this mf took it as a challenge and actually made it happen.

before all that tho i was badtrip because ha made a very uncalled for rape joke and it fucked me up in the head, plus the fact na im being taken to someplace unfamiliar. i was very tensed the whole ride there. anw he didnt get the hint na it was THAT awful to me, but its aight we resolvedt it already. i'll keep a tab on this tho. for me that was a red flag.

anyways we made out in this tambayan place their family owns. basically it has a large parking lot and across that space was this little studio type housie house. the place had a large ass gate, wasnt really paying attention to what he was saying about the place because i was still tensed with the bad joke he made. anyways we went in and it was a very nice place. outside the house, it wasnt that obvious, but when you go in, it legit looked like one of those sala sets in malls with the note "thank you for not sitting" typa shit. so yeah it was nice it had same vibes with vista mall maybe because of the ceiling yellow scattered lights and of the fresh ass furniture and the whole place itself. it was a pretty decent size, not too big not too small for at least two people to share in the long run. it also had this aircon i always wanted the expensive ones u see in 5 stars. anyways it was quickly cold. there was also the bathroom that had a shower, then theres this chair where you pull a button and a foot rest will pop up lmfao. there were also two other sofa charis by the window. the window was the type then you push back up, not much windows tbh. but thats aight and reasonable since it has an aircon. i was tensed at first when the room was opened. it was obviously recently used idk maybe by his relative. WAS TENSED BRO same feeling when you enter an empty room newly unlocked by your teacher. THAT. that typa anxiety. anyways eventually joined him to sit by the small bed. was pretty much good for one big ass person to comfortably lie on, but fitted both of us nicely. didn't really bottom at that sesh so i don't really remember if the bed was uratex when weight is applied on me but it probably is AHSHDHASHDHSAHDSAHAH ok mej funny yun goiz liek- HAHA ok serious na nga hmpz. we cuddled first before doing nasty stuff. it was nice. i'd exchange all those laplapan just to wholesomely cuddle in peace and probably have a great nap together. i like the feeling the warm feeling. it was nice. yes. anyways,, yeah it was nice. cant stop talking about how nice it was because it was nice. heck... it was so nice. it was so heart heart. idc about my coochie getting rubbed, CUDDLE ME BITCH. anyways we started kissing and the rest is historyYYYYYY. jk. basically the make out routine starts with cuddling then kissing then he touches me until it reacher the forbidden softie softie, main bec he likes hearing my sexy ass moan. even before in tinder when i vm my boytoys for the first time the first thing they say my voice is smexy. cant blame them i agree. even when im alone and i randomly fake moan gat dam bro i get turned on too LMFAO. so yeah i moaned bec it was music to his ears and turned him on big time. was ngl kinda steamy when we breathe in each others mouth thats one of my favorite parts of it and also when i suck on his tongue. or also when i moan into his mouth. yep. also when he cusses it means im doing a great job. hehe. nice stuff ryt there. we pause sometimes to rest, then go aead again. i got many rounds that day. we did same stuff on the bed several times. then he pulled me so i'd be on top. im such a great top bro he aint know hoe to topppp. then was cuddling on top of him and then accidentally (wink wink) grinded on his rock solid stuff. he was turned on sabi nya shit anuyon sabi ka ah ayaw mo ok BUT THEN he was like gusto ko. tnagina pabebe yarn. anw i started kissing then grinding and he was cussing bec im so good at it. later my pants were off and later his shorts too. so we were underwear-away from grinding on directly. was nice got me tiredt. THEN HAHAH i saw this 5 peso coin by the bed and i was like eto yung token sa rides AHSDHASHDASHDHA WOF YAN TEH? tangina tawang tawa sya gago ang funny ko tlg san ka makakakuha ng kallapan na funny. tas nilagay ko sa gilid nya singko started grinding again. bet u he was grinding too. AND IT WAS SO HARD IT LOWKEY HURT TO GRIND ON. GEEZAS. so basically the whole bed was shaking. and i did my deed as a good girl to keep the music on (aka moaning) because there was no music. felt like

asmr. boring af. unlike when we make out sa car, theres always music. i like making out on the white chev instead of the fortuner BECAUSE THE FORTUNERS WINDOWS AIN TINTED what in the world was i thinking making out inside an untinted car INSIDE A PARK WHERE THERE ARE LOTSA PPL PASSING BY. anyways back to the bed, we paused, cuddled. then i was badtrip again for some reason so i got up to get dressed but we eventually made out again on the sofa hehe. legs spread again bec he liked touching there so i let him. then eventually was begging me to allow him to eat me out but i was like BROOOO NOOOO you gon taste it and it be not groomed yet in anyway but he was alr there begging looool he looked so adorbs but NOOO. i asked wala ka man benefit jan, sabi nya ikaw meron. tas sabi ko why do u wanna do it, he said he wasnted to satify me liek HNGGGGGG ok i would let you but it really not be groomed oakay NEXT TIME for sure. AND HECK the lights were on. it was daylight and the lights were on like hasdhahsdhashdas it feels liek im being eaten out at the home decor station at vista mall U GUYZ. anyways ayon. after non i think he tried carrying me for some reason. and i knew he found me heavy lols. but yeah i was a cute little moment he carried me around the room pretending its a mall and he's touring me and shit, "to your left, is the sala set, to your right is the flat screen tv..." things like that HAHAHA funny cute moment. anw later on we found ourselves sitting on the little bed again i was on top of him. he didnt want to lay down bec he alrady made the bed lol so we started grinding again sitting, me on top doing my best !! giving my all !! bec he also had a finger down there as i grinded on his stuff so it basically felt like a direct grind lols. anyways was nice. then later on we made out standing up. was kinda hard because he was 7 inches taller. OH AKALA NYO TITE SIZE YUNG 7 INCHES NOH. hinde. so ayon we were making out and he was shy to ask for a deep throat HAHSDHAHDHAS HECK NAW BITCH U TOLD ME A RAPE JOKE. so this is the part where i get revenge. he was standing there, and i was teasing him. was acting clueless, but he hinted he wanted his belt off so i took it off. was honestly confused with the belt. lol. anw i got to remove it and said, so ano next? playfully hhehhehehe. anyways ayon nga eventually me teased him everrr soooo slowly his dick went from solid-jelly-solid-jelly. LMFAO omfg will i cause him illness? omg. anwwww ayon. later on i removed his shorts as he asked. then i stepped aaway from him across the room because he was doing the shy type hands while hsis shorts was by his foot. and i LOL'd at him for a good few minutes just clapping my hands out of entertainment HAHSDHAHSDAS. then he asked me to put my hands inside, did it slowly and i told him to smile ka nga muna. AND HA THE MF WAS SHAKING. LOL. my fucking powerrrrrrr. anyways later on i was teasing out the underwear, then later i got my hands in again and then touchedt the dick *YAY* finally we got there!! anw it was only for a few secs and i told him its over HAHAHA. then i put his shorts back up again, but subtly teasing that i would suck. bec the shorts were by his ankles so i had to kneel. did i suck? no. did i make sure he thought i was? YES BITCH. and then he lay down fretting because i didnt suck his dick and then while was laying down i opened his shorts again to pretend that his dick was a computer mouse and told him "lets play solitaire, o kaya counterstrike or maybe purble place. gawa ng cake hehe" lmfao mfer be cry laughing because he dont know what to do bec he was teased. so ayon we ended that way and i thought he was bad trip bec of what i did. but he assured me na di naman like dapat lang duh. anyways ayon hehe.

uwi na kami after nakauwi ako 1. andon kami 10. hehe. hinatid nya man me pauwi. tho yung byahe pauwi di pa kami nakakalayo sa place he pulled over so i was confused bec there were no big vehicles incoming but to my surpris he started kissimg me again lol bro deins ka ba nasasawa. anw yon. was nice naman. making out with a guy from a rich fam is nice bec yall dont need to pay to rent in motels lol but still has pressure, bec if we end on a bad note, i swear most of the blgs here are engineered by his relatives. thats how prominent they are. the place we went to is owned by his uncle, who works at legazpi rn thats why the place was vacant. theyre making a mall i think idk. so thats why his uncle is making another like that na place dun. so he has somewhere to stay. like what in the wealth... its crazy how people have money. and for sure even if the place we stayed in was small, it costs millions fr. anyways ayun yung promised detailed chika ko. hehe ciao. mej pokpok nga me pero look at me suffering the consequences, may sipon na ako aside sa ubo because he had mild sipon. now my sipon is malala compared to his, and he alr is recoveredt tangina unfair. but yesterday he insisted to see me to drop off some meds and he hugeed me and cried. because i asked for a time out the night before. bec i was having a hard time. he allowed it but over thinkedt it so yeah he cried while hugging me tight in the car. and kept on saying sorry mainly bec of the sipon thing. but it was, i felt, directed to the other stuff he had disappointed me with. anyways before that sabi nya ok lang ba sayo mag punta munang emall may bibilhin lang, sabi ko naur im sick. it was bec he wanted to buy me gummy worms lol. cute. u shoulda bought them before going to me, mofo. jk. loveee u penggg.

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hail-the-supreme-leader-kylo-ren · 4 years

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**TROS SPOILER WARNING** I saw it and ... 💔💔💔

Well after waiting 2 years, I finally saw The Rise of Skywalker and wow I’m devastated, confused, and angry. The worst thing that they could’ve possibly done they did. They killed Ben Solo Skywalker. I don’t know why screen writers today do this bullshit “bittersweet romance” thing where the two lovers finally have each other, only for one to die when it’s not necessary?!? It’s so cruel. The way the entire ending played out after they killed him, was like the knife they’d stabbed me with was being twisted. I can’t stop crying.

Rey defeated Palpatine, Ben pulled himself out of the pit (lol yes), cradle Rey is his arms lovingly, decided to try to Force heal her (I always had a feeling Ben would bring Rey back to life, because Anakin could never save Padme). Rey is alive again she says “Ben”, caresses him, they kiss, he smiles, REYLO IS CANON, and then shock twist he slumps and then instantly fades away. He’s dead.

LIKE WHAT THE ACTUALLY FUCK IS THAT JJ???? The final Skywalker, the one you’ve been building up as a tragically misunderstood, abuse victim dies sacrificing his life for Rey’s. Han, Luke and Leia all died and hoped that Ben would return to the light. And yeah sure he did, but I would’ve thought that his family would have wanted him to return to the light and LIVE out the rest of his days happily. Doesn’t he deserve that??

There’s so many confusing aspects to this, like A) why did he become “redeemed” then die sacrificing himself just like Vader? I thought that was the problem with the OT and why we have the ST... being that Vader died too soon and didn’t complete the full redemption journey and return to that innocent happy boy he once was and teach his story to others? B) does Rey love Ben? Because the whole movie was framed like she did. But the second he died, I don’t think she called out or even cried???? She goes back to the Resistance and is happy and hugs Finn and Poe. UGH THE “TRIO”. Isn’t she devastated she’s lost her love Ben? And then when she goes back to Tatooine, she sees Force ghost Leia and Luke but no Ben??!???!? A final slap in the face. C) since Ben and Rey were a “Dyad” and were one through the Force, I feel like they should’ve been able to both easily live??? Why bother making them Dyad if it ain’t going to serve the story at all? Is it supposed to just be a cop out and explain the Force Bonds? It’s all so infuriating.

They only reason I can think of why they’d kill Ben Solo is because they wanted to close the loophole of the “Skywalkers” so that they didn’t fuck anything up with the Force’s balance again. But even then that’s seems like a very thin idea, because Rey still exists and she’s a “Palpatine” and is uber powerful? How exactly was the Force finally brought into balance through this movie? Palpatine was defeated and the Palpatine bloodline/legacy “redeemed”? It doesn’t make much sense. GAH I would’ve preferred both Ben and Rey die, since their equals, why would one live and not the other?

To be honest, I was enjoying the film for the first half. It opened with Kylo/Ben so that’s a great. And the Force Bond scenes with Kylo/Ben and Rey screaaaaamed Reylo love. But so many of the leaks were right, it was becoming quite comical. And looking back of the film now it was all very clunky and had a lot of convoluted stuff in there that was so illogical and didn’t really serve a strong purpose to the narrative or any character development. When the watery Death Star scene went down, it seemed like (trope wise) that this would be the moment the Reylo kiss happens, but the dialogue wasn’t right it wasn’t angsty. And I thought, “oh no Reylo is not happening”. But then Bendemption happened and I was okay again. And by the time Rey went to confront Palpatine, I’d realised Ben really hasn’t been given enough screen time in this film, he wasn’t going to be the “hero” in this finally showdown, this was very firmly Rey’s story/saga. Which seemed odd, because they’re equals “dual protagonists”??! As Rey defeated Palpatine I was confused as to what the hell, because there was an obvious emphasis on all the Force ghosts telling HER alone to “Rise”, including Anakin. This was deeeply concerning because what about his own grandson Ben Solo??? At this point I didn’t know what was going to happen with Ben. But then like I said before he pulled himself out of the “pit”, very romantically came back for her and saved her and then just D I E D like it was nothing. I repeat W T F.

Now here’s all the other stuff I didn’t like about the film: - There was zero character development, except for Ben finally turning to the light and then he DIED - SNOKE WAS A PALPATINE CLONE???????? WTF JJ ARE YOU SMOKING CRACK? This was an early red flag that I should have heeded. I feel like all the fanboys finally feel satisfied with knowing Snoke’s backstory. - Where the fuck was Rose? Why didn’t she say like 3 words and get .5 screen time? that was some bulllllllllsshit. Why was she introduced in TLJ just to be sidelined? - Why the FUCK did they bother to make Finn Force sensitive? They hinted at it, and he never even got to tell anyone. It didn’t serve the story at all?!?!? Such a waste of time - Poe got to have a romantic happy ending with Zorri, while Reylo did not. - The C-P30 memory wipe had no lasting consequences, R2-D2 restored him in like 2 hrs? This screentime could’ve been used for Ben. All of Kijimi could’ve been scrapped to be honest. - The Knights of Ren were extremely useless, you could’ve swapped them for stormtroopers and it wouldn’t have made a different. Very disappointing. - Jannah was also useless, this screentime and scripttime could’ve been used for Rose. Her stormtroopers rebellion story was so heavy handed and terribly done. - Same goes for Dominic’s character, why did he exist? - Lando being back was also under-utilised, he had history with Ben why didn’t they use that? - Sooo many of the terrible leaks were true: the necklace grab, Luke/Leia training, Hux being a mole which was confusing and then he just died, Rey thinking she killed Chewie, the Sith dagger and C-3PO blah blah, Ben falling into “a pit” lol, the film finishing with Rey going to Tattooine and saying “I’m Rey, Rey Skywalker.” As soon as I saw Tatooine, I wanted to vomit because I knew that horrible horrible line was coming. - It wasn’t explained as to why Kylo remade his mask - Ben and Rey didn’t say I love you. And tbh, it’s probably good then didn’t since JJ killed Ben. - The finally “war” was very underwhelming and took place on one star destroyer - I was really hoping for some awesome Force Bond “world between worlds” jumping location stuff, and/or awesome new Reylo powers (but it was just healing)... so this was underwhelming. - I don’t know why Ben didn’t kill Palpatine instantly, opening scene? - They really emphasised babies and children on Pasaana with Rey, so I thought this was obvious foreshadowed of her and Ben’s future.... but no. - Pyrde wasn’t that interesting of a character, well acted but one-dimensional. - I really really hated Rey being a Palpatine. It makes no sense? I loved her being a no body and getting her powers from herself. What about her father, Palpatine’s son?? Did Palpatine try to get his son to kill him as well??? It’s so illogical. Also if everyone has to be if legacy blood, does this mean that Finn is a Konobi?! HAHAHA. I also hate how they added the fact that Leia and Luke “knew” she was a Palps all along. BAHAHAHAHA. Terrible. - Palptine wanted Rey to kill him, so he could live through her as a vessel. But then he Palpatine took Rey’s and Ben’s life essence, but they didn’t die? But he was back to his 100%. Then Rey killed Palps with the power of “all the Jedi”, and somehow Palpatine died? I thought he was going to go into her if she killed him? Or is the clause that she has to be angry and kill him with hatred? Boyyyyyyyyyy it’s so stupid. I can’t even.

Here’s the stuff I did like: - The Reylo kiss and Ben’s smile. - Ben offering his hand to Rey again, and all their Force Bonds of them trying to one-up each other with how well they know each other’s fears etc. - Him crushing the Sith wayfinding was hawwwwt. He was like if you’re going there, you’re gonna have to go with me. (Also leaves open a plothole of how the fuck did Ben navigate his way there in the finale) - Rey not killing the snake but healing it, yeah it was really odd but I don’t like how previous Jedi always slaughter animals so this was a plus for me. - Ben Solo in his “redeemed” outfit, he looked soo fine, and it reminded me of Han too which was sweet. - Leia’s death being the prompt to finally turning Ben back to the light. Finally a mother she did something right, looool. - I thought it was weird for Star Wars, but I did like Han being back as a memory, to talk with Ben. And the “Dad....” “I know” killed me. I knew they needed to resolve the one evil deed Ben performed, so this worked fine. - I loved Rey mediating with the rocks at the start of the film, and I loved her and Ben’s prequelsque Force jumping. - I loved that Jodie Comer was Rey’s mum!!!!! (I love Jodie) - I did like how the Luke’s water sunken X-wing from TLJ was used in this film, it was predictable but satisfying somehow. - There was so much FinnPoe tension through the film like Poe was jealous of Rey, it was hilarious. - I liked the queer kiss, even though it wasn’t much.

So there that’s everything I needed to say. I would’ve been sad and confused if Reylo didn’t happen, (because they’d set it up for 2 films), but I’m devastated that they killed Ben. Bendemption isn’t truely complete if he doesn’t get to live. I know he means so much to people, people who connected with him/who faced similar trauma as him. I know they’ll be a devastated as I am and that is what makes it so much worst. I saw someone say on Twitter a few weeks ago that it’s be horrible for Ben to die, who had suffered so much only for Rey to take the name of “Skywalker”, basically stealing his identity.

And yeah that’s exactly what happened. Ben deserved better, the fans deserved better, and the Reylo’s deserved better. 💔💔💔💔💔💔 In a few hours I’m seeing it again with my family this time, and I really don’t want want to rewatch it.... isn’t that horrible.

#the rise of skywalker spoilers #tros spoilers #ix spoilers #star wars spoilers #sw spoilers #theriseofskywalkerspoilers #episode ix spoilers #trosspoilers #spoilers

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everythingoesnk · 5 years

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Once in Rockfield Farm (1/5)

summary; you own Rockfield Farm and your bf Mary Austin asks you if you can help her friends with an enormous favour that will lead to a much bigger unprecedented change into your life. Thanks to a cute guy specifically.

word count; 6 126

disclaimers, PLEASE read them; don’t forget this is fiction. i’m using queen‘s 70s era as a base for the story but it won’t be historically accurate. the song mentioned towards the end of the chapter is from Taylor Swift, i don’t claim those lyrics as mine. sorry in advance if u find a f*cked up grammar mistake or whatever. feedback would mean everything, it’s the first time i’m posting something i’ve written it feels like i’m giving birth looool

warnings; minor violence at some point and mention of abuse

********

Mary didn’t stop until she convinced you to give green light to her proposal.

She called it like that, but it seemed more like an order. Both of you knew she wouldn’t let it pass until you agreed to.

Taken aback, you refused at first.

The idea of four strangers living in your house, coexisting with you in the only safe space you knew, wasn’t appealing whatsoever.

Even though all they needed was a studio to record, they’d have to stay until the album was finished. They could afford to rent a proper one, but Mary made it quite clear that getting out of town was crucial to avoid possible distractions.

You’d been fired from your job because the restaurant bankrupted, so the money they were going to pay for rent was welcomed.

Your grandfather passed Rockfield Farm on to you when he died.

It was a lovely place full of good memories, mainly concerning hours on end together in the studio he built in the attic throughout the years. The relationship you had with him had always been special, but ever since your nana passed away at the age of 70, your bond became stronger.

He also wasn’t there anymore, and you tried not to think too much about it, just were glad that you met someone like him. He was the main reason you loved making music so much.

Sadly, as you grew up, although your talent for writing songs and producing music was undeniable, you realized you needed to be realistic and pursue a more down-to-earth career.

Medicine was another thing you were slightly attracted to, it wasn’t your passion but it would have to do.

The music business was too complex and difficult to get in, and wasting your time wasn’t on your plans. It’s not like you were a prodigy or a diamond in the rough, anyway. That was your honest opinion.

But now and then you’d succumb and compose. It was an effective way to forget about the rest of the world and vent whenever something would make you sad, grumpy, anxious, angry… Rarely did you write about happy feelings.

What’s the fun in claiming how fulfilled you are with your life? Which you weren’t, but still.

Ballads and songs that’d leave you with your heart aching on the floor were your daily bread.

Mary was the only one allowed to hear your little creations. She’d try to get you to show them to the world, to step out of the comfort zone and perform them in public, to rush out of those same four walls.

You were quick to brush her comments off every time, content with her and your dog being the only ones to get to listen to your babies.

“How long they’re going to take?” you asked using a fake uninterested tone, pretending not to care whether they needed weeks, months or a year.

The truth was that you wished for the album to be done quite fast.

“Who knows,” Mary said. “When the album’s finished I’m the first to know, but in the meantime Freddie won’t give me any clues”

You nodded, unsatisfied with the answer.

“Thanks for agreeing to this. I owe you big” her eyes found yours and yours softened.

“If anything it’s them who do, don’t you think?”

Mary grinned and offered to cook something for tonight’s dinner.

She left you alone with your molecular pathology notes resting on your lap.

It was your last year in University, thank the Lord. One last effort and you would be a doctor.

After memorizing various concepts you found yourself staring at the horizon wondering how was Freddie Mercury like.

Obviously because of Mary you sort of formed this idea of him, but hadn’t had a face to face yet. About the other Queen members… yeah, Mary mentioned them sometimes, vaguely: she described John as a nice fella to have around, Brian as the only one with common sense, and last but not least, when it came to Roger’s personality, she told you hesitantly to judge him yourself.

You thanked her when she handed you the pen you forgot inside.

Mary gave you an encouraging smile, placing her hand on your shoulder and squeezing it.

As soon as she turned around to go back inside, you called her name, squinting your eyes to try and get a better sight of the vehicle that kept getting closer to your property.

“What?”

When she spotted the van she sighed happily.

“Finally”

Mary ran to wait for them in the parking area. She was over the moon, clapping and waving effusively to welcome them.

“Are you coming or not?” Mary shouted, gesturing you to go and stand next to her.

You took your time to get up from sitting upon the grass and do just that.

Not a single second since they pulled over went by and Mary was already imprisoning Freddie in her arms.

You chuckled, completely sure he would be dead in a matter of seconds if she wouldn’t loose her grip.

He lovingly wrapped her in his and stroked her hair.

All of a sudden, running from the backyard where he usually played in the mud (this time was no different), your dog appeared on scene. You asked him to remain quiet and by your side, which to your dismay he did not obey.

He went and greeted Queen, who pushed him away with no bad intentions, they just didn’t want to get dirt on their trousers.

John, nevertheless, got on his knees and began patting him. It did not take long for him to regret it when Sherlock seemed to be captivated by his face, licking it non-stop.

You cleared your throat. It would be nice of Mary to introduce you, being the one who organized this whole of a mess in the first place.

Apparently she read your mind. The next thing she did was link arms with you.

“This is (Y/N)” she spoke. “Freddie, come here”

“You have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you”

Freddie gave you two sweet kisses, one on each cheek.

“Same here” you nodded and mirrored his smile when you saw it reached his eyes.

In a heartbeat you were fascinated by him.

There was this intriguing strong aura he projected that made you feel like you were in the presence of someone from the royalty, someone important.

Freddie examined you from head to toe and fell in love immediately with your outfit, a pastel blue dress with tiny sunflowers printed all over it. He did spot your exposed feet and smiled pleasedly at your choice of painting your toenails with the colours of the rainbow.

“Boys, don’t be rude and come say hi” he gestured his bandmates, who were taking a rapid glimpse of their new temporary home, and stepped aside.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Brian”

“Nice to meet you too” you kindly responded, shaking his hand.

“Thank you very much for allowing us to record our album here. If we win a Grammy expect you to be the first one we address in the speech” he joked, face beaming with a heavenly smile.

Damn, you were so soft for him already. And you wanted to touch his curls.

“You’re welcome, Brian”

“Yes, we’re endlessly grateful” another gentle voice joined the conversation.

John stood now in front of you.

“Hi, I’m John Deacon”

“I know” you laughed, tilting your head to the side. “I hope your stay here is… productive”

“I hope so too” he smiled big, and it made your heart melt. He was so cute.

Roger was next.

He was wearing a black leather jacket that fit him like a glove. One silver bracelet hugging his right wrist, matching the necklace around the neck. What caught your attention the most was the glittery rosy shoes, though. He had long blond messy hair (like the others, except the colour part), and prominent sideburns.

They looked ridiculous, you thought, although every second you spent contemplating his face the less they bothered you.

He was gorgeous, what the hell?

You got somehow a little nervous.

“Productive it shall be. I’m Roger” he spoke, referring your words from before. He took your hand and held it to his lips. “We’ve come to the right place, guys. With such a pretty face like hers we’ll never run out of inspiration” he snorted when he heard John face-palming himself.

You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

Sure Roger didn’t mean that at all, it was just his constant flirty mood Mary warned you about taking over him, you reasoned.

“Don’t get it started, Rog. We don’t want her to kick us out the very first day” Brian scolded him like a father would his children.

Roger laughed, his silly expression never fading away, and soon he was again observing you.

“I was joking, I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he said, taking some of the heat out.

“It didn’t,” you said back, confident.

You followed the others when they headed to the house carrying their respective suitcases with Mary as the leader.

Roger was fast to grab his and catch up with you.

“You live alone?”

“I have Sherlock”

He was still in ecstasy, trying to get everyone’s attention.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it” you shrugged. “It’s not as tragic as it sounds. I enjoy my own company”

“Oh. Anyway. This is a farm, right? You do all the, huh… you know, farm work on your own?” he looked around, scanning a bit the surroundings. He pointed with his chin at one big rooster. “The guardian of the house, eh?”

You let out a vague chuckle that made Roger proud, already eager to make you like him.

The reason was obvious: you were so eyecatching he almost tripped when he missed one of Sherlock’s toys on one of the porch steps, too engrossed in how the sun made the freckles in your face stand out.

“My grandfather baptized this piece of land as Rockfield Farm, but it hasn’t been a proper farm for years. Now it’s just… my house”

“You know,” he began, digging deep around his mind to come up with something so the conversation wouldn’t end, “years ago I had this summer job in a much more immense place than this. I had to watch over 200 sheep every day”

“Was it as entertaining as it sounds?”

“Clearly not”

Roger extended his hand to stop the door from closing after John came in. He motioned you to go first and winked, but you didn’t notice the last part, which slightly bothered him.

“(Y/N), this place is precious!” you heard Freddie praise.

Mary interrupted you before you could thank him.

“Then you sure are going to love the studio even more! C’mon”

“How did your grandfather manage to get this studio together? It’s pretty impressive” Brian enthusiastically asked, taking a small sip of tea.

The six of you were now chilling in the living room. It was the perfect time for them to rest since the road trip had been long.

Moments before they finished unpacking and settling down, Mary and you gossiped in the kitchen. She remarked how attentive Roger acted towards you, and asked if you were into him.

“Are you stupid?” you couldn’t believe her. “We’ve known each other for what, ten minutes?”

“I was just wondering whether there was desire at first sight or something”

“Desire at first sight?” you repeated slowly, taking in every word.

“It was a softer way to ask if you’d give him a ride or not” she laughed watching you gesture her to lower it down. “I’m just asking because I can tell he would”

Before answering Brian, you looked over at Roger.

He’d taken off his jacket and was rolling up the sleeves of the white tee he wore underneath.

Your lips parted, finding that mundane action quite amusing and sexy on him.

You looked away, guilt taking over you for having stared too keenly. There was nothing wrong about it, and you couldn’t explain why you felt agitated. Maybe you were self-conscious about whether the others noticed.

Forcing yourself to remember Brian’s words and with a sense of pride, you smirked behind your cup, gazing at the wooden floor.

Your grandfather poured his soul into this studio, which he also referred to as a sanctuary. It made you happy to hear Brian acknowledging its value.

There were several electric and acoustic guitars, a generous collection of microphones your grandmother enjoyed saving, two trumpets, a synthesizer -to which Freddie and Roger scoffed loudly at-, a drumkit, one saxophone, and a bass.

Not to mention the tape machine that still worked perfectly plus the recording booth.

Mary told you that John Reid, who was looking after Queen at the moment, managed to convince the label to provide them with a significant amount of money. You assumed they’d brought enough tapes to record on, therefore yours would remain intact.

“He bought half of the instruments”

“The other half?” John inquired.

“He stole them” you answered, not much of a fan about it.

“Whew!” Roger whistled.

You took a short sip of the tea and turned slightly towards the window, presencing a flash of light.

“A piano?”

Freddie dropped the question with no high hopes.

“Pardon?” you turned your head and looked at him over your shoulder with your body still facing towards the window.

The head movement was so fast that a clip you wore to hold a fraction of hair in place loosened a bit, letting the lock to fell down your face.

Roger stared at you in awe.

The light illuminating the room had a warm cosy tone, which surely helped to make your skin look softer and smooth. He wasn’t aware of the heart eyes he was giving you, but Brian, John and Mary were.

When you batted your lashes, he looked away and saw Brian try and fail to hide a smile when they locked eyes. He’d been caught.

“Do you have a piano?” Freddie questioned again, eyebrows raised a little.

A tiny playful smile made its way to your lips.

“Of course I have a piano” you cockily answered.

When you saw Fred’s satisfied grin appear you instantly knew he liked you as much as you liked him. It wasn’t in the attic; you’d show it to him later.

To be honest, the piano was your favourite instrument to play. So delicate, so powerful and majestic.

“Excuse me for a second” you got up from your seat, everyone confused by your sudden urge to leave, but not alarmed.

That light from before wasn’t a bolt of lightning, you came to realize, it was a car that parked outside.

A little voice popped in your head guessing it could be him, but it couldn’t… right? There were approximately two hours from Cardiff to get there.

It sure was someone lost, or maybe they were stopping by to beg to use your bathroom because they couldn’t hold it in anymore. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“How about we start dinner? I’m starving” Mary added.

Their voices kept getting lower and lower as you crossed the corridor, oblivious to Roger’s eyes following your every move.

You stepped outside and closed the heavy door behind you, but not completely.

The silhouette of the last person you’d want to see in the entire world was leaning against a red car, one you did know very well because you lost your virginity in the backseat. He was humming to a tune you didn’t recognize, head facing downwards.

Picking at the fabric of the sweater you put on to forbid the cool air of the night from touching your skin, you opened your mouth.

“Leonardo!” you whisper shouted.

He definitely heard you, although he turned a deaf ear.

“Leo, what the fuck!”

“You’re a stupid whore”

Shit. He’s drunk? You prayed he wouldn’t make a scene, not now, with Mary and the guys around. The shame to have them complicit of whatever could possibly happen would be unbearable.

“You’re miserable” he went on with his speech, voice thick, which made it difficult for you to understand him.

You called it quits three months ago. Apparently he wasn’t any close to getting over the fact you ended it.

“Leave”

After what felt forever, he abruptly raised his head.

“What?” the expression on his face revealed he wasn’t happy.

What his eyes showed freaked the hell out of you: they revealed an intense desire, either with words or physically, to hurt you. He wasn’t sober, and you were aware that he had struggled with alcoholism when he was a teenager. It was fair to say Leonardo never put a finger on you in that way before, but alcohol was the push he needed to do it and his body was full of it now.

A lump formed in your throat.

“Get out of here”

“I just want to talk” lifting his hands up in an attempt to seem harmless, losing balance doing so, he took a few steps forward trying his best to sound convincing so you wouldn’t move and listen to him.

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say”

“How do you think I felt? Huh? When I saw you making out with that moron? You’re so selfish. A fucking slut, (Y/N). You disgust me”

That was the final straw. You promised you wouldn’t give in and start an argument, but he fucking did have to bring that up. He had the nerve to blame you for moving on and having some fun with a guy a few days ago at a party.

“Are you serious right now, Leo? How dare you?! We’re not together!” funny enough, this time it was you walking up to him not giving a damn anymore about the consequences.

When you raised your fist to punch him, even in his state, he managed to catch your wrist on time.

“How wrong you’ve done me” he hissed, tightening the grip. That’d leave marks for sure.

He pushed you against the car, causing your back to crack roughly. The situation was so tense not even the tears were brave to roll down your face, your vision blurry and unclear.

“Please, Leo!”

Mary’s voice never felt so good in your ears.

You totally forgot about them, that you could’ve screamed for help instead of dealing with Leo on your own, too absorbed in rage to be able to think things through.

“Do something, help her!” she pleaded the boys.

Four arms were fast to catch him and throw him to the ground.

Everything was happening so fast, almost as fast as your crazy heartbeats.

Brian came to you and held you by the shoulders, checking you out entirely, looking for bruises. He was asking repeatedly if you were alright, if that man dared to touch you. You could hear him, but it felt like he were miles away from you, his words echoing in the back of your mind.

Mary grabbed your arm and the two guided you, treating you like you had some kind of disability.

Before letting them drag you inside, you quickly turned your head to see what was going on, and saw a fuming Roger threatening Leo to disappear and never come back.

Freddie and John remained behind him in case he’d lose his temper. They looked at each other in astonishment; it was the first time they saw Roger like that.

“(Y/N)” Mary called you, once in the common room. “Fancy a glass of water?”

“I’ll be right back with it,” Brian said, his long legs taking him to the kitchen.

“Sit down, babe”

“I don’t want to. I’m fine”

She could perfectly see the tension in your shoulders.

“You’re not. But it’s fine, it’ll be fine” she sympathized, caressing your hair.

At this point you were lost for words. You were confused, angry, stunned.

“Here, take it. It’ll do you good, (Y/N). Is there anything else you n—” Brian began, offering you freshwater to maybe comfort you and make the knot you felt in your throat go away.

“For fuck’s sake!” you felt choleric. Maybe you were about to pass out.

Freddie, John and Roger came in and stopped dead in their tracks when they heard you complain.

Brian blinked a few times.

You were desperate for some time alone to process the last couple of minutes, but that wasn’t any excuse for you to take it out on Brian when all he wanted was for you to get better.

“I’m sorry” you lamented, ashamed at your behaviour, and took the glass not looking at anyone in the eye. That’s when you saw you were indeed shaking a little bit.

He smiled comprehensively, not giving too much attention to your outburst.

“Who the fuck was that?” Freddie wondered.

John elbowed him and mouthed “not now”.

“I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry you had to witness that” you sighed, choking back the agony.

“Don’t apologize. That piece of shit shouldn’t have treated you like that. He looked mad” Freddie condemned.

Another heavy sigh escaped your mouth when you saw everyone staring intently at you, hating the feeling of their unasked pity.

Roger hadn’t said a word. His muscles were tense, mind way too far from the scene recalling something from the past.

It’d been several weeks since Queen came to stay.

To your surprise you had no complaints. They helped you without hesitation with the housework and kept their rooms tidy. More or less. The only thing you could protest about was that after the sessions it seemed like the studio had been the target of a fateful hurricane.

However, they were too cute to stay mad at for more than ten seconds.

Coming out of your shell was easy because of them. It didn’t take you long to feel comfortable enough to show your true self instead of hiding in your room like you did the first three days.

Reading a book easily kept your mind busy, except now; it was unbearably hot outdoors and indoors. Without taking your eyes off the page, you held the Coca-Cola can against your neck seeking a refreshing sensation.

“Mind if I join?”

You lowered the sunglasses until they were fitted a little bit below the bridge of your nose. The sun was hiding behind a cloud now, making it easier to adjust your vision and get it focused on whoever that was.

A shirtless Roger stood before you, with a towel around his neck that he rushed to spread on the hammock next to yours.

His skin glowing due to the sweat made him look rather tempting.

Your brain lent a helping hand forcing you to smile and nod because you wouldn’t, couldn’t do that yourself.

A small grin tugged at his lips when he noticed your eyes on him longer than usual.

“You’re always studying, angel” he pointed out, lying down and crossing his arms above his head.

You let out a loud sigh you’d been holding in, cheeks red at the pet name he chose. Anytime he’d call you something sweet rather than by your name, it was always how you tended to react.

There was no denying that you’d sort of developed a small crush on him.

Nobody could blame you, though; the same thing would happen to any human being with feelings.

He always treated you as one of them, making sure you didn’t feel left out. His sense of humour was similar to yours, and you appreciated it when he included you in their plans even if he knew you were occupied with Uni and probably wouldn’t be able to join.

Also, he was hot as fuck. You swore you’d never seen a man so beautiful in your life so far.

“I have to if I want to pass my exams”

“Sure, but you’re always studying” he emphasized. “It cannot be healthy”

It couldn’t, but everything was so difficult and you were so lost at some points you thought the world as you knew it could end if you took the smallest break.

“(Y/N)”

“Tell me”

“Seeing you stressed out stresses me” he sat straight, took the book from you and shoved it away. “Fuck this. I suggest you have some fun before the pressure ages you”

“And what do you recommend, ay?” you questioned, crossing your arms across your chest.

“We could play Frisbee”

“Frisbee? Really?”

“Why not? I’m sure you’re not that bad” he teased, getting to his feet.

You faked a laugh and stood up.

“Don’t underestimate my skills”

He used his hand to mimic a mouth talking nonsense, and approached the pool since the frisbee was floating in the water. But he stopped when he felt he stepped on something, proceeding to lift his foot to see what it was.

Roger knelt down and picked a piece of paper up, which said in messy handwriting together with scribbles here and there: You tell me ‘bout your past, thinking your future was me.

His brows cocked in surprise and your eyes widened. You grabbed it out of his hand and held it close to your heart reflexively, as if protecting it. It must have flown out from within the pages of the book when he first threw it away.

Roger watched you curiously, crouched down still, as you breathed slow and deep avoiding eye contact. You could feel your face getting hotter.

He got up with an unnoticeable smile.

“That’s yours? It’s decent”

You waited for something to get out of your mouth, but this time your brain didn’t find a way to help you out, speechless at the fact that he liked it.

“Do you have more? I’d love to hear” he continued, glancing at you.

“Oh, n-no” you forced a laughter. “I don’t”

“I’m glad you’re not as bad as a lyricist as you are as a liar”

You gave him a dirty look and the corners of his eyes crinkled at that. He puppy-eyed you.

“Please?”

“No, Roger”

“We don’t protest when you’re in our recording sessions, you could return the favour”

“Excuse me? You’re in my goddamn house. Watch your tone”

He giggled, fascinated by how cute you turned out to be when poked at.

“What do I have to do for you to say yes?”

“Nothing. It’s not happening”

“(Y/N)!” he pleaded. “I want to hear you sing”

You shook your head.

“And I want to own all the dogs on the planet. Guess we’re both stuck”

Roger groaned in defeat and turned around to get his hands on the frisbee.

For some odd reason, it made your heart dance in your chest knowing he was willing to sit down with you and listen.

A sense of enthusiasm and confidence moved you and shockingly enough you found yourself considering the idea.

Roger gave you a quick head nod.

“Ready?”

You didn’t know what the hell you were doing but you whispered a small “okay”. It couldn’t be that bad, right?

“Take a few steps back first, you’re too close”

You pulled a face at him but quickly shook your head.

“I said I’ll do it”

Roger wasn’t getting it.

“Do w—“ he stopped mid-sentence, his sapphire eyes widening in understanding this wasn’t about playing Frisbee anymore. “Yes!” he took you in his arms and spun you around.

Since he was shirtless you could feel how well built he was. Although he wasn’t the most athletic man out there, apparently drumming on and on was enough to keep him fit.

“Rog, Rog! Enough! I’m feeling dizzy”

You were wearing a mini skirt that had a tiny slit on one of the sides. Seeing it rolled itself up a little you adjusted its length, avoiding any extra space to anyone’s imagination. Too late for Roger though.

When satisfied with how your skirt fitted, you looked up and saw a subtle wink roaming his lips.

“I’m ready when you are” he announced, bending over to grab his shirt and put it on.

At first your legs wouldn’t cooperate.

Roger followed you closely.

He saw you toy with your hair, questioning yourself why you agreed to do this when you weren’t a hundred per cent sure about it. He placed his hands on your shoulders and slowly massaged the back of your neck with his thumbs, relieving some of the pressure.

Every single hair of your body stood on ends.

“Don’t be nervous, love. We can drop it whenever you want” he conceded, tossing an arm around your shoulders.

Opening the door to the studio you felt sick, already regretting your decision.

Roger took a sit on the couch, watching you like you were about to do a mind-blowing performance that’d change the meaning of his life forever.

Feeling like a rat in a laboratory with the doctors waiting to see if the experiment was successful or not, you shifted weight from one foot to the other, discomfort intensifying.

The piercing electric blue of his eyes triggered something in you when they met yours. You didn’t know how but it seemed like he was speaking to you through them, encouraging and imploring you to open up to him.

“Take it easy, (Y/N). It’s not a big deal”

“It is for me”

You sank down on one of the chairs next to the control room, poorly trying to hide how intimidated you were.

“You’re singing, then? Or reading the lyrics out loud?”

“Singing” you muttered. God knows if you went downstairs to pick up your notebook you wouldn’t come back.

A very cheeky expression overtook his face.

“Okay, go ahead” he gestured, rubbing his chin.

You clenched your jaw and snapped your eyes shut. It was easier to do it if you weren’t looking. You’d just imagine it was your grandfather in the room with you instead.

“Time won’t fly, it’s like I’m paralyzed by it I’d like to be my old self again But I’m still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone”

Roger’s fingers fidgeted at the sight of you tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, silently wishing it was him doing it.

He saw how your angelic features relaxed along to every word you sang. When it comes to your voice... He had to remind himself he didn’t die nor was leaving a dream, because it felt like he were in the very gates of heaven.

His breathing quickened, well aware he was witnessing something intimate.

Leaning closer, elbows resting on his knees, he allowed your voice to transport him to the place and time you were describing.

“But you keep my old scarf From that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence And it smells like me You can’t get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well”

You swallowed before opening your eyes and speaking.

“There’s more but that’s the part I’m most proud of”

Roger’d fallen silent, his brain on fire.

He seemed to be absent, daydreaming probably.

Your heartbeat could make you go deaf any second, partly because you allowed him to have a peek at your heart partly because you were dying to know if he was any positive about it.

“You sounded like an angel” he stated in the softest voice, working on coming back to his senses.

There was nothing you could do apart from blushing and awkwardly shaking your head, yet on the inside you were saturated with a strong feeling that filled you completely: his opinion was relevant to you and the reaction he had was more than enough.

“You’re exaggerating. Thank you though, for your words. You’re very kind” you said, entwining ankles.

“Is it…” Roger was afraid this would ruin the mood. He decided to give it a shot and solve any doubt. More importantly, he wanted to make sure you were alright.

You weren’t stupid and knew where he was going.

“About Leonardo? Yes. Next question” you explained bitterly cutting him off, and pressed your lips together making an effort to not roll your eyes and appear rude.

He did ruin the mood.

Roger felt bad now.

“I’m sorry. Forget it”

“It’s fine” the flat tone you used before switched to a more delicate one.

It was overwhelming that he cared. He didn’t have to but he cared.

“I experienced something similar. I know how fucked up domestic abuse is” Roger confessed, bowing his head.

Wait, what? He what?

“Rog…” you got up and carefully sat next to him.

It shocked you how quick the atmosphere changed.

“It’s nothing, dear, it was a long time ago. She was… she was crazy” he laughed drily and cleared his throat. “You know what I mean”

“I do not. What you saw when Leonardo showed up was a one-time thing. He was drunk and barely himself, but I’m so terribly sorry you had to go through that”

“Ah, good for you then” he tapped you on the knee with a small smile on his face.

It broke your heart. How could anyone be so goddamn evil? You just couldn’t understand why they were people like that out there, willing to harm others deliberately.

Your mind drifted to Leonardo, did he become one of them?

Glancing at Roger, you hesitantly got closer to rest your cheek against his shoulder, letting him know mutely you were there in case he needed to vent more often. You intended to cuddle for just a few seconds before it turned out weird. That was until he wrapped an arm around you to keep you in position.

“Thank you” he whispered.

It sent shivers down your spine hearing for the first time his voice discreetly cracking up. You weren’t entirely sure about what he was thanking you for, though.

Roger didn’t quite understand why such information slipped out his mouth. Maybe he thought it was appropriate to share it since he contemplated you went through the same thing after what he saw. He just wanted to make sure you knew you could count on him as well.

The boys knew about the matter, obviously, but there was this thing about you he hadn’t figured out just yet that pushed him to speak to you about it.

That’s what his mind was saying, his heart on the other hand defended the idea that he felt comfortable with you and that since he presenced the incident with Leonardo he remembered his experience. Hence the fit of anger he had.

The thought alone of that scumbag hurting you made his head collapse. He was very sensitive about the subject.

“Better?” you wondered out loud after a while of snuggling, yet you didn’t move, finding the proximity significantly pleasant.

“Yeah, uh, sorry” he cleared his throat and released you.

“It’s more than okay”

He nodded, not really looking at you yet.

You tried to think of something that could distract him from those undeserved and heartrending memories.

There was no point of comparison to what Roger had struggled with, but every time you argued with Leo during the year your relationship lasted, you were grateful that your friends organized sporadic plans to help you forget about the fights.

You had to do that for Roger. You had to entertain him. To keep his mind occupied.

“Freddie explained to me drums are much more complicated than what they seem”

Roger glanced over the drumkit.

He was suspicious at first about the topic change, and looked at you from the corner of his eye.

“It can be very ambitious if you don’t do try for real, instead of goofing around. There’s too much going on. People believe it’s just hitting the drums and you’re good. Wankers”

It was unmissable how his face lit up, talking about his passion.

Crossing an ankle over your knee, you bent forward to get a better sight of his much more eased features.

“I’m sure it requires a lot of hard work, the coordination on hands and feet and all that stuff. Singing along as well must be tiring”

Roger’s eyes bored into yours, as if studying and reflecting upon your words. A corner of his mouth lifted.

“Yeah,” he replied amused, “physically it can be tough”

He knew what you were doing.

Just when he was about to ask you if you wanted him to teach you some basics, John came flying through the door.

“For God’s sake, there you are. Roger, I need you. Freddie and Brian are arguing again. Help me out spreading some peace before Freddie slaps him”

****

end of part one, lemme know what you think ! ♡

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clairelutra · 4 years

Text

a fic year in review

meme stolen from @isadorator! ty as always~

this was the year i did get your words out. i signed up to write 150k words of anything over the course of the year, ~400 words/day, ~12k words/month.

i didn’t manage to make that w/c in half the time like i wanted, but i did get it by october, which, like? still bamf :D and 200k for the whole year! only 133k of which was published, but still!!

January

sun protection (shuann, oneshot)

the month of motivation!! and 0 results because i was hitting peak anxiety re: my writing, what i was allowed to write, etc etc etc. i got better but it wasn’t in january, that’s for sure lol.

February

child’s play (gen, abandoned)

taste testing (shuann, oneshot)

we’re here to steal your bride (gen, abandoned)

attempting to find a rhythm that worked and not quiiiite finding it, sort of floundering through it all—i hadn’t really dragged anyone in with me yet and i was suuuuuffering.

i can’t remember precisely, but i think this was when i decided to declare a hiatus. no posting for me for a while to get the long-running panic attack under control.

March

the one and only month i managed to really and truly stick to the hiatus thing. also the month(?) that @sixsaltysweets jumped in after me, and fandom things with a friend made everything better. ♥♥♥

April

dirty money (shuann, pwp)

absolute territory (shuann, pwp)

aka the month i kind of lost patience and started posting again, just to arcanawildcard instead of anything to do with clairelutra, because crippling anxiety is a biiiiitch.

also the month i started lovers confidant: world famous model (aka, the babysitter au).

May

may, the month of continuing to wrangle with the babysitter au, which is my pride and joy and magnum opus.

June

Lovers Confidant: World Famous Model (shuann, complete multichapter)

the month of finishing babysitter au! my precious... my preeeeecious....

legit tho, this was a huge confidence booster. two hellish months of Work and this fic was my bouldy through it all. i’m still ridiculously proud of it—on a technical level it’s some of the best work i’ve ever done.

hilariously, i was stalking fail_fandomanon on DW and decided to jump in on one of the fic exchanges there, and someone?? took offense to the way i worded my signup?? and left me a fic comment purely to tell me to change it because the only contact information i had up was my ao3, which. dude. dude.

July

candyman (good clean fun) (akira/everyone, drabble collection)

ash blonde (ffxv ignoct, oneshot)

assisted negotiations (ffxv noctis/everyone; aranoct; noctis&prompto, oneshot)

the month i started lockdown infiltration, brushed off a few old projects, punch-boxed my sense of shame, and did my exchange piece.

originally i was planning to write something in response to the ffa wank, but it proved to be too high a hurdle for me, and i gave up.

August

the night belongs to... (ffxv lunoct, pwp)

detangler (my girlfriend is a t-rex yuuma/churio, oneshot)

simple aims (shuann, oneshot)

picked up a pinch hit for an exchange, did a request, finished up a prompt from the ffxv kink meme... not in that order lol.

most of what i was writing was, again, lockdown infiltration. dedication!! i was showing it!!

September

more lockdown infiltration, because by jove, i was going to finish this fic.

October

the perfect 10 (shuann, oneshot)

yep yep yep more lockdown infiltration. now with a soulmate au request to oil the brain hinges! the first soulmate au i’ve ever played totally straight, i think. twas much fun.

GOD THIS SHIP GIVES ME SO MANY FEELS.

November

lockdown infiltration (shuann, completed multichapter)

MY WORK. MY LOVE. MY BABY. C O M P L E T E. i think i hit stockholm syndrome with this fic at some point lol, by the end of it i was almost sad to see it go, no matter how much i loathed writing it at times.

i’m still not totally sold on its quality, but at the same time, i do see why it’s my most popular p5 fic. the concept and chemistry of the shady cop (akira) and noble thief (ann) was just... so good? LIKE. i get that joker is joker, but ann’s naturally trusting nature and akira’s eternal desire to stick it to the man gives them a very good reason to want to talk to each other, even without a plot to help them along.

THEY JUST HAVE AMAZING CHEMISTRY OKAY.

incidentally, around september was when i fiiiinally started to feel Good about my characterization of both of them and how they clicked as a couple and now i am lost to this ship f o r e v e r.

December

in turbidus veritas (shuann, oneshot)

boyfriend material (shuann, incomplete multichapter)

nice shirt. what’s it made of? (shuann, pwp—need to read boyfriend material first)

the bitter pill (shuann, oneshot)

so i started boyfriend material in november and put down like 16k for it in a couple of weeks before i completely crashed and struggled through the next few parts.

the pwp spinoff was inspired by a comment on the original that just needed to be done justice and i have zero (0) regrets.

Total Year’s Output: 133,601! i didn’t quite manage to post all those 200k words, but 2/3rds ain’t bad.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted?

y’know? i really don’t know. the whole beginning of the year is kinda... lost to the fog. i was still trying to figure out what was wrong with me and coming up with 326492387 reasons and trying to tackle each one as it came up and i was still loosing weeks on end to the apathetic sleep, so;;;

I’M BETTER NOW AND IT’S GREAT,

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2019?

i 100% never predicted that i would finish a multichapter. and now? i’ve finished two :D :D :D

What’s your favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest.

THAT is a good question. i’m absolutely most proud of Lovers Confidant: Wold Famous Model, but boyfriend material might be the only multichapter i’d go back and reread of my own volition. it’s a tossup.

(as for oneshots, i still really like absolute territory. first and best accomplishments in cunnilingus!)

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?

win gywo again (signups are open until january 15th, by the way!!)

finish boyfriend material (13 chapters to go (9′-’)9)

write through a velvet room attendant!ann alternate lovers confidant fic

write through a marichat-inspired alternate lovers confidant

find a good pace for requests.

leave and fill one prompt every month for the ffxv kink meme

publish 150k to ao3, regardless of when the fic was written (there’s one fic that i put down 17k for in like march looool. if i’d published that i’d have hit that number this year)

it’ll be a full (and hopefully fun) year :D

#my fic #gratuitous shuann #hallie speaks

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0ccuria · 5 years

Note

Hey! This is the anon that asked you about Maya and Zer0 the other day. I'm honestly relieved someone else feels the same way I do about this whole nonsense, because it was flat out heart shattering realizing how hard they were just throwing Maya away for almost nothing. The whole stuff with The Order and returning to Athenas also felt very... out of place and super ooc to me but maybe thats my own characterization goggles gettin in the way. @_@ tysm for sharing your thoughts! ❤

No problem, I probably could’ve gone for longer tbqh looool, but I really did try to keep it as short as I could. 😅

It really is hard to keep going after Promethea/Athenas. You get to Eden-6 and it’s this dark, swampy, rainy planet with a kind of somber music. Then the Twins do their stupid meme shit... ;dsfgh;ksjdfgwqehrg

Maya didn’t deserve ANY of that.

I can see that perspective for Maya, yeah. But personally, I take it as her taking the reigns and doing what she wants to do. No one tells her what to do anymore, Athenas is HER house now. I’m sure it was pretty hard for her at first no doubt, but I feel that over 7 or so years they’ve all learned from each other. The Athenians learned their lesson, and as I said, Maya took on the responsibility to lead them in a less.. "culty” way. At the end of the day, she’s still the Maya we knew in 2 imo.

I also wanted to mention that you know.. I AM happy that I at LEAST got to see my two faves out of all the others. (Aurelia too but.. god, that’s a whoooole other post lmaoo 😂) so there’s that.. I guess.

#it's kinda like..#I was given a piece of candy but it's sugar free and a flavor I don't care for lol #like honestly my skin was crawling and my blood was boiling most of Eden-6 #ask #bl3 #bl3 spoilers #borderlands spoilers #spoilers #Anonymous

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sneezingpotatoes · 5 years

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OMG WHAT?! I'M ACTUALLY POSTING?! IKR XD It's been foreverrrr xD BUT I'm back with yet another new fic with Reuben and Draco LOL This fic takes place after Draco is feeling better and Reuben catches his cold. DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE OTHER FIC CUZ... LOOOOL I DUNNO HONESTLY XD Sorry my mind is a mess and can't seem to focus on finishing an actual story so UsE yOuR iMaGiNatIoN on how the other fic ended xD Or who knows... I might go back to it and finish it later xD BUT HERE'S THIS! *\(x.x)/*

“Heyyy, Reubennn~! Hellooo!! Open the damn door already!!!”

High-pitched yelling was heard from outside, which forced Draco to quickly sit up on the couch. He looked around, scoping through the pitched black living room making sure that everything was still in place and untouched. After one more quick sweep of the place, he sighs in both relief and irritation, becoming fed up with the loud racket that was taking place outside of the door.

“Who the hell is it?!” He snarled deeply as he approached the front door.

“It’s me, Lirin! Wait, Draco? Is that you??? Where’s Reuben?!”

The rugged man opened the door and glared at the young woman standing in front of him. She was holding a tray of hot chocolates in her hands while doing a light jog in place, trying to keep her body heat up with her teeth chattering from how cold it was.

“I dunno where the hell he is, and I don’t give a crap either.” Draco grunted as he headed back over to the couch and collapsed into it. Lirin mocked him behind his back as she entered the warm home and locked the door behind her. Even though she still found the the rugged man attractive, she hated Draco’s grumpy attitude and found him a little more enjoyable while he was drunk anyway.

“Why is it so dark in here?” The woman asked as she flicked on the lights. Draco winced in response and hissed: “I was trying to sleep before you came and woke me up!” Lirin pouted at the grumpy man and sat the hot chocolates down on the coffee table. “Well excuse me for trying to do something nice, gramps! Who in the hell goes to bed at 10 anyway, you old fart!?”

“Hey, I’m not old…! And don’t call me gramps!” Draco defensively fired back. Lirin teased the rugged man and stuck her tongue out at him, giggling in a taunting manner. “Why are you even here?!” Before Lirin could say anything in return, the turning of the doorknob steals both of their attention as they watched Reuben enter the house.

“Reubenn~!!! Welcome home!” Lirin cheered as she lunged forward for a hug from the lanky gentleman. Reuben accepted the hug in surprise, being shocked from seeing his cousin in his home without a warning. He should’ve known by now though, seeing how this wasn’t the first time, nor the second that Lirin had shown up in his house and startled him. She was always so unpredictable and random.

“What a pleasant surprise.” Reuben says through a few light coughs into the curl of his fist, feeling worn out from his day of work. It wasn’t like he didn’t want her company; He was just so exhausted and he had planned to finish up a few things and head straight to bed.

“I brought hot chocolate~!” She cheered as she handed both of the boys the now room temperature cups. She was always bad with timing, and the drinks were already starting to cool, seeing how she had made them two hours before she had showed up to his house.

The gentleman forced a half-assed smile nonetheless, and nodded his thanks as he sat on the couch opposite of Draco. He didn’t want to upset the poor girl, and it was very thoughtful of her. Draco, on the other hand felt differently, and snorted at the cup, grimacing after he took a sip of the drink.

“Where the hell’d you get this shit from?!” Draco asked, dumbfounded by how someone would purchase something that tasted so foul.

“I made them, you dickhead!” She yelled defensively. If not for the fact that Reuben were a clean freak, she’d have thrown her drink at the asshole and bopped him upside the head. Instead, she bit her lip and clenched her fists onto her cup, feeling her nails piercing thin lines into its sides.

“Do us all a favor and just stick to the martinis.” The rugged man muttered underneath his breath, triggering the fellow bartender.

“Draco, enough.” Reuben stated grimly.

The gentleman glared directly into Draco’s dark blue orbs, giving him a chill like no other. At first, the rugged man glared back intently, with the attitude of ‘You’re not the boss of me’, but after the room went still for a few moments, Draco finally cracked and gave a dismissive ‘tch, whatever’ before sinking deeper into the couch in silent defeat. He tried his best to ignore Lirin as she childishly stuck her tongue out at him in victory.

“Lirin, I do appreciate your kind gesture of bringing us these delightful hot chocolates, but I must get some work done and retire for the night.” Reuben sighed and massaged his pulsing temples.

She pouted in response, but understood that being a pediatrician wasn’t an easy task, and that he was always busy, so this wasn’t anything new to her. She was used to barely seeing the busy pediatrician, even on her off days. With the click of the front door, Lirin was gone without saying a word.

Reuben felt slightly guilty, of course, but it was also business as usual. He just didn’t have the time nor the energy to entertain his guest properly. We’ll try again when I get the day off, he tries to reassure himself in order to get that heavy weight of guilt off of his back. The gentleman glares at the rugged man lying on the couch in dismay, still appalled by his grotesque behavior.

“You shouldn’t say rude things like that to people, you know.” Reuben stated blandly as he audibly yawns and leaves the couch to set up his laptop on his grand office desk.

Draco only grunts in response, not willing to entertain the scolding conversation that’s trying to form. The gentleman kneels down to rub his Black cat that was obediently sitting down in the cat bed right beside his office desk, cooing at the magnificent creature before he sat down and began glossing over all of his unread emails. He rubbed his eyes, sighing and already feeling his head begin to pulsate more fervently just by looking at all of the emails he had to respond to.

“Draco, fetch me a glass of tea, would you?” The gentleman ordered, not even attempting to disguise it as a question. He had already begun typing away, fingers gliding across the keyboard as if he’d performed this dance a million times before. If he weren’t so invested into his work, he could’ve sworn he heard Draco scowl and cynically get up from the couch with a huff. What was worse, living out on the streets, or living with this silver spoon fed- ‘fetch me a glass of tea’ having- Stiff upper lip looking moron? Draco had to constantly ask himself. Nevertheless, the latter was always the better option, whether he liked it or not.

A few moments later, the rugged man returns with a cup of steamy green tea that he sets beside the hardworking man in a huff, still irritated with the whole matter. Reuben stifles a few coughs into his fist and reaches for the tea cup, still keeping his eyes on the laptop screen and scanning all of the text on the dimly-lit screen.

At first, Draco wanted to growl a feisty ‘you’re welcome’, but on the other hand, he also understood how busy he was. Even though he had only been living with him for about a month, each of those days were filled with work that didn’t stop even when he came home. Defeatedly, Draco turns off the lights and collapses onto the couch and watches the man type away on his laptop.

Reuben bit back a cough before taking a sip of his green tea, closing his eyes from the welcoming warmth against his scratchy throat. He releases a gentle sigh, seeing how his throat was still scratchy even after he took a few more sips from the warm mug. He had hoped that the warm green tea would’ve cured his throat since it had been irritated all day, but to no avail. Setting the mug down, he returned back to his laptop, responding to more emails about previous procedures and scheduling new appointments with different patients. It was the same cycle. He would go to work early, come home late, work on his laptop, and then go to sleep. He would usually breeze through the paperwork now, seeing as how he had been a pediatrician for quite a while, but tonight was a little troublesome for the gentleman. It seemed that no matter how fast or how long he would be typing, the emails would never end; more would come one after another.

Reuben removed his glasses and cautiously grabbed a tissue from beside his laptop, folding it in half before he brought it up to his nose and massaged the now tickling appendages. He didn’t really mind the sneezing itself, seeing how the sneeze was a natural occurrence in the human body. The only time he would have a problem were if the sneeze were messy and germ infested, which is what he had been subjected to two weeks prior. The number of cold patients turning up in the clinic hadn’t helped his case either. The gentleman took in a shallow breath before twitching into the tissue, releasing four short, rapid sneezes.

“Ktsh! Hihhk’tsh! ‘Kttsh! Huktsh!”

He released a shaky sigh as he continued to massage his faintly ticklish nostrils. Even though he had finished sneezing, the tickle had just died down again, never leaving him entirely. After feeling certain that he was finished for the time being, the gentleman gently blew into the tissue and placed it into the garbage can beside his feet before putting on his glasses and returning to his emails. Absinthe stirs in her bed from the sudden event and rubs up against her master’s leg in concern, feeling as if something is off with the man.

“Did I trouble you Absinthe?” Reuben asks as if expecting a verbal reply from the cat, in which he receives a soft purr and another gentle nudge against his leg. Draco audibly sighs and shakes his head at the fact that Reuben changes into a completely different person when he talks with his cat… And just at the fact that he talks to his cat like an actual person. “It’s quite alright, dear girl. N-not to… Not-hihH”

The pediatrician freezes and snuffles lightly, feeling his nostrils twitch from the current irritation. Before even having the time to process anything, he lurches forward slightly above his laptop, teeth clenched and eyes slammed shut from the possessive tickle.

“Heh’ktsh! ‘ksh! ‘KTTSH! ‘Isshn!”

“Bless you.” The rugged man audibly grunts at Reuben, seeing how he couldn’t fall asleep for two minutes without being awoken by a cough, sneeze or sniffle from the man.

Reuben only releases an impatient sigh in return as he straightened up his glasses and grabbed for another tissue, quickly trying to expel as much of the sickly fluids as possible. A soft purr is heard as Absinthe leaps onto his lap in sympathy, trying to provide her owner with at least some kind of comfort. If the gentlemen weren’t so caught up in his mess, he could’ve sworn he heard Draco curse from the couch.

“Are you sick?” The rugged man asked, completely disregarding Reuben’s suffering as he cracked an eyelid open to study the pediatrician.

“So it would seem.” Reuben replied grimly through his damp tissue.

Unlike the rugged man, Reuben was an impatient person. He wasn’t going to hide the fact that he was coming down with something or that he felt ill. It all just seemed childish and like a waste of time, seeing how the truth would be revealed sooner or later anyway.

He was aggravated that his sorry excuse of an immune system would allow him to catch a measly cold at a time like this. It was inevitable though. Even if he hadn’t taken the rugged man into his home, the constant contamination of his cold patients would’ve gotten into his system regardless. He couldn’t blame the entirety of the situation on the rugged man, but he sure did clinch his fist from recollecting every moment Draco hadn’t covered his mouth to sneeze or cough, and each time he wiped his nose with his hands and instantly infected one of his appliances.

“Kshn! Eh’ktsh…! ‘Ish’u…Hh-huh…!” Just thinking about that baboon and his shenanigans made the gentleman dip forward into the tissue blanketing his palms with ticklish explosions. He firmly grabs Absinthe, making sure that she doesn’t fall off of his lap as he takes another deep inhale.

“Welp, sucks for you.” Draco responded blandly. “Shaddap with the sneezin’ already. ‘M tryna sleep here.”

“Hhuh-Issh’ueh!! Guhh.” The gentleman only snarled in response as he massaged the bridge of his restless nose. He could feel his head roaring in the back of his skull from all of the pressure slowly building up like a kettle setting on a hot stove. Draco had no intentions of caring or taking care of him. He was a grown man, and a pediatrician of all things. He knew all of the tips and tricks better than he did. The rugged man closed his eyes once again, too exhausted to even humor the situation further.

Reuben hazily grabs a fresh batch of tissues and instantly blows into them and getting nowhere. His sinuses we're beginning to clog up from his constant sneezing, making it difficult to breathe out of his nose alone. He mumbles a brief curse underneaths his breath before deciding to get up to take some Benadryl. He knew himself all too well, knowing that once he started sneezing, it would take forever for him to stop unless he did something about it. And if he were going to get some sleep tonight, he was definitely going to need some aid.

Absinthe hops down from his lap and follows the lanky gentleman into the restroom, cautiously watching every move of the gentleman. Reuben smiles at his favorite feline with a thick sounding snuffle as he shows her the bottle of Benadryl that he's about to take.

"Once I take this, you'll have to wake me up if I sleep through my alarm clock again, understood?" Reuben asked the innocent cat as if he were a commander issuing out a soldier to the battlefield. The cat only glared at the gentleman with her dark lavender eyes and gave a soft 'meowrr' in response. Reuben chuckles to himself and takes the recommended dosage of Benadryl before he returns to the living room and sits back at his desk.

Draco was now, and finally passed out on the couch with a deep snore that filled the still room. He was happy now that he could work without having to worry about that baboon interfering with his concentration.

About 30 minutes pass of soft clacking of the keyboard, constant soft sniffles (In consideration of Draco), a steady pulsing headache, and stifled coughing that never fully escape his chest, Reuben can tell that the Benadryl is starting to take effect. He can hardly read the text in his Excel document, and everything was zooming in and out of focus. He tries to rub his eyes to clear away the blurriness and the oncomming rush of fatigue, but it does absolutely nothing. The gentleman finally rests his head down on his office desk in defeat and instantly joins Draco into a deep slumber.

Something cold and wet gliding across the ear of the gentleman and stirs him awake. He giggles drowsily at the tickle in his ear and swats away whatever is pestering him. His giggling stops abruptly as he is greeted instantly by an unnerving tickle in his nostrils. Before he can comprehend anything, he sloppily stifles a quad of sneezes with his head still resting on the desk.

"Hahh-Ngxtsh! 'gxtssh'! Nxt-ngtxsh'iew!! Nnghh..."

The last stifle escapes from him as his head is in a world of pain, and he's sure his head would've exploded if he fully stifled the last one. He reaches for the tissue box and grabs a handful, instantly emptying out all of the gunk that had been trapped in his nostrils. He feels relieved that his nose isn't stuffy anymore, but now it won't stop running. He sighs and sniffles a few times before noticing Absinthe obediently sitting on top of his office desk with a tilted head, studying her poor master. He gives her an appreciative rub and grabs his laptop to check the time.

8:07am. Bloody hell.

He quickly stands up, now frazzled from how late he is and rushes for his bedroom to quickly change his clothes. He's already three hours behind schedule, no time for a shower or breakfast.

He scurries around the place, barely grabbing everything that he needed without forgetting his cellphone about 10 dozen times before he actually grabbed the damn thing, still groggy from sleep and the remnants of Benadryl in his system. He absentmindedly walks out of the house without his coat on and instantly does a 180 to retrieve it before heading to the subway station. He figured he wasn't suitable to drive in his current state and that the subway would just be easier for him.

After 10 minutes of speed walking through the chilly December weather, a bout of pushing and shoving through crowds of people just as in a hurry as he was, and a slip and a slide onto a cold handrail squished in-between a heavy set guy who was standing too close for comfort behind him eating an omelet that had a strong scent of onion that made him slightly nauseous, and a young teenager standing directly in front of him that wore a cheap smelling perfume with a strong floral scent to it, Reuben honestly thought this was the end of the road for him. He could already feel his nostrils start to leak heavier than before, as if his nostrils were drooling over the scented perfume the teenager was wearing. He sniffles rapidly as he squishes his arm between the other bodies standing around him and pulls out his handkerchief, gluing it to his nose, already feeling his nose tickling with a burning passion. He feels his nostrils twitching underneath his own hand and blinks away allergic tears as he stares up at the bright subway light.

"Ahh-hHUH... HheH-hh... NngHhk!"

He felt powerless against the chest inflating hitches and the burning in his nose. He didn't want to sneeze on the subway at all, seeing how it was gross and unsanitary, and he knew that he wouldn't want someone to sneeze on the subway if he were standing right in front of them either. It didn't help that his nose was already tingly from the sickness his body was already trying to fight against, and now another catalyst has entered his stream that his body feels the need to expel.

With another deep hitch, he twitches harshly into his handkerchief, desperately clenching all of his muscles so that he didn't dip forward onto the teenager or lean backwards too far into the man's omelet.

"HhaH-'Isshmff!! H'issh-issh-t'isshmmf! HhuhH...!!"

Reuben shook his head being overwhelmed with the restless tickle. Even after his sneezes, the tickle felt the exact same.

The teenager scooted her right head phone back into her hair as she looked behind her at the lackadaisical man with a disgusted glare. She flinched when Reuben sneezed two more times and hissed: "That's gross..." To him as she turned back around and attempted to scoot forward but only moved about an inch away from him. Reuben didn't even have time to feel embarrassed, for his nose was stealing all of his attention. He blew his nose, releasing a thick gurgling sound and grimaced when his nose twitched yet again and caused him to dip forward with force and power.

"HhHHE'Ngxt! Nngxt! HhUH'Ngxt-Ngxtsh... NNGXTSH'UEH! HH'EGTSHH'IUMMF! MMPFF'UE! MPHFF-MFF!!"

Reuben gripped the cold handrail above him tightly, trying to keep himself from tilting over backwards. He was beginning to feel light-headed from both the perfume and the strong onion scent, and he was starting to feel claustrophobic from both the wheezing in his chest making it hard to breathe and from everybody standing so close. The lanky gentleman rubs away the allergic tears with his soaking handkerchief and sighs. He knows he's going to need some tissues soon, since his handkerchief is already way beyond wet and he knows that he forgot to grab a travel pack this morning while he was rushing out the door. He thinks about asking the teenager in front of him, but he doesn't bother seeing how he had already grossed her out enough and she probably doesn't want anything to do with him, so he looks behind him to ask the omelet man.

"Y-you would'd happe'dhh... to habe ady dissues, would you?" He croaked, instantly coughing chestily into the damp handkerchief which makes himself grimace.

The omelet man gives Reuben an odd look, but hands him the stack of brown napkins nonetheless.

"Here, take 'em. Looks like you need 'em a-hell-of-a lot more than I do, that's for sure." The man chuckled as he continued to chow down on his half eaten omelet.

Reuben offers a congested chuckle as well, with a hoarse 'thagk you very buch', in return, instantly shoving his beyond used handkerchief back into his pocket, and instantly gurgling into the brown napkins. He winces when the napkins shred his now reddened, ticklish nostrils. Well sure they weren't any ordinary soft tissue, but it'd have to do the job for now.

One stop away from the pediatric office, and almost half of the people he boarded with aren't on the subway anymore. He actually managed to grab a seat and relax without a strong onion or floral scent torturing his sinuses. Although the teenager had gotten off of the bus two stops ago, the scent had lingered and teased him a bit, but it wasn't too bad. He was honestly just so exhausted. What a bad start to the day.

"You have arrived to: Herrigton Ave." The automated voice announced throughout the subway, flinching the gentleman out of his light snooze. Despite all of the rest he'd gotten, he still felt fatigued and worn.

Reuben releases a long sigh as he snuffles to himself and gathers all of his belongings before getting off of the subway and heading towards the pediatric office. He hurries as fast as he can to the building, not wanting to linger in the cold weather any longer than he has to.

"Where have you been? I literally spammed your phone and left you 10 voicemails." Lani interrogated the lanky gentleman with haste as soon as he enters the building.

Reuben glared at the caramel skintoned woman with confused eyes and snuffles thickly as he brings up an index finger to rest above his upper lip. He hadn't received not one notification throughout his entire journey to his workplace.

"That's impossible." Reuben refuted as he struggled to pull out his phone. "I don't have any--" he interrupts himself with a defeated sigh as he realizes that his phone was dead. He must've been too caught up in his work and sickness to even think about putting it on the charger. "Blast it."

Lani solemnly approaches the sniffling man and rubs his shoulder. She hadn't realized how terrible he looked as he barely managing to stand in front of her. His droopy eyes barely able to focus on her ashened gray orbs, his runny red nose constantly scrunching up from his light rabbit-like sniffling, with his face starting to turn a soft shade of pale.

"Listen, don't worry about it... Patrick already handled your first three patients, and I'm sure I can find someone to cover you for the rest of the day. You should go home and get some rest..." She informs the pediatrician, voice still coated with concern.

"I'll be okay." Reuben says with a sigh, not sure if he believed his own words, but stood by them nonetheless. He was upset that he already missed 3 of his patients and he didn't want to miss anymore of them. Lani furrows a brow at the sick gentleman and shakes her head in disapproval.

"You're not in well enough condition to even be here right now, let alone to see a patient!" She exclaims, feeling upset that Reuben is pushing himself so hard.

"I only have a slight cough and runny nose. If this is qualification to stop me from seeing a patient, then I fear for all of the sick and injured." The gentleman refuted, watching Lani give him the side eye.

She definitely knew that he was hiding more than he lead on, but she gave him an obviously annoyed sigh and flipped through her logs and handed him a document. After giving Reuben one last cold and spine chilling glare, she began to speak.

"... The Anderson family has been waiting for about 30 minutes now, so you should hurry." With a huff, she swivels back around the marble counter and takes her seat at the front desk, almost instantly returning back to typing on her computer. The gentleman releases a heavy sigh of relief and shoots a glance back at the Divine woman.

"Thank you, Lani. You truly are incredible." He says as he heads down to his pediatric office. Lani hides the flush in her cheeks as she subtily watches the gentleman walk down the hallway.

Reuben gives his nose one last good rub and a deep shuffle that causes him to cough a few throaty coughs on to the upside of his hand before he enters the office to greet his patient and the family.

"Good morning, everyone. Please excuse my absence." He announces to the family, already needing to sniffle again as he applies a squirt of hand sanitizer.

The family returns the greeting in relief, being grateful that somebody showed up to assist them.

"Oh, I don't mind! I get to miss school so you can take all the time you need." A little girl sat on his medical table, swinging her legs back and forth with a shy smirk on her face. She looked to be about 9 years old.

"Ahh, school! I don't miss those days." Reuben chuckled as he flipped through his clipboard of records. "In that case, let's figure out whatever it is that is causing you so much discomfort." Reuben scrunches his nose with a series of light sniffles, starting to already feel the need to sneeze gradually becoming bothersome. He pressed the upside of his hand against his nostrils, subtly trying to stop his nose from beginning to twitch softly underneath his hand.

“Tell the nice doctor what’s wrong, Abel.” The mother cooed at her daughter. At first Abel hesitated, but then she nodded and looked at Reuben with solemn eyes.

“So my throat really really hurts all the time, and it hurts a lot when I swallow things.” She said shyly as she fiddled around with a hole in her jeans.

The gentleman sat there struggling to pay attention to the child, seeing how the persistent itch resting in his nostrils were definitely making it a challenge. Normally his sneezes were so quick and to the point just like he was, but at this moment he could tell that they wanted to make him suffer.

“How lo-onghhH…” He clears his throat, followed by a sniffle and starts his sentence again. “Hh-How long has your throat been hhH-hurt-tingghh…?”

He trailed off and held his breath, trying to bite back any more hitches that wanted to make him sound silly in front his patient. Why now of all times? He thought to himself. Couldn’t it wait until after he was finished diagnosing his patient?

“Umm, I think its been hurting for like three days now? I don’t remember…” She gave a wry frown, feeling upset that she couldn’t give him solid information.

“It’s alright.” Reuben reassured, taking a deep swallow in hopes of swallowing down the itch along with it, but failing. “It sounds a lot like strep, b-but I’ll take a swab for testing just to be sure, ok?” His last sentence sounded slightly rushed, but the family didn’t notice, since the girl and her parents nodded in understanding.

It took all of his will power to stop himself from rubbing at his nose. He sniffled lightly as he grabbed the Q-tips, trying to at least bury the itch down to a tolerable level, but instead made his eyes start to water from the flare of the itch. He blinked a couple times, fighting to keep his eyelids open, but eventually failed as he felt them flutter shut. He instantly brought up his cupped hand, expectantly waiting for the sneeze to make itself known.

“Sir, are you alright?” The mother asked, concern coating her voice.

After he heard the mother ask that question, he could feel the stares of her and the rest of the family directly on him, as they too were waiting for the sneeze to finally release. He felt partially embarrassed but that feeling instantly vanished as the tickle flared up and teased him, causing his jaw to slack open with a deep hitch that followed.

“HhhH-uh…!” The gentleman stepped back away from the girl as to not sneeze near her and he internally sighed, seeing how the itch had died back down to an irritating level just as fast as it had come.

“Are you feeling okay, mister?” The little girl chimed in, just barely cutting through his own battle with his annoying itch.

Reuben nodded slightly, still concentrating on the tickle. He knew that he looked a mess, but the tickle was so unpredictable that he didn’t want to make a fool out of himself anymore than he already had.

“Yes, I’b fide. Judst dhought I was goi’g to s-sdeeze.” Reuben replied, wincing at how much congestion was piling up in his sinuses. He released an irritable sigh as he grabbed a few tissues from off of the counter and blew his nose. He knew that he needed to do a heavy blow, but in respect of his patient he released a soft blow into the tissues, that still sounded wet and gross, but not too unbearable. And no, that nose blow didn’t do anything for him but make him sound and look sick, and make his nose a light shade of pink.

He sighed, getting fed up with his irritating nose, feeling the itch become inflamed since he blew his nose, but it still wasn’t strong enough to actually make him sneeze. He grabbed the Q-tips once again, and approached the child and told her to say “Ahh” so that he could examine her throat and get a sample of her saliva. She gave a weird look at Reuben, seeing his tired frame slumped in front of hers with his mouth slightly open taking in uneven breaths, his droopy, tired eyes beating down into hers, his slightly twitching nose that was now clearly moist and practically leaking from all of the tickling he had been suffering through. Despite seeing this, she complied, closing her eyes and opening her mouth wide, giving Reuben full view of the inside of her mouth. It didn’t look good. He could see little red bumps coating the roof of her mouth, with white pus pockets as well. He took mental note of that.

The easy part was finished, now for the hard part. The swab. He didn’t want to press too hard on the back of her throat, or hit her uvula and make her gag, nor did he want to sneeze during the procedure and injure the patient. Reuben released a quick sigh and chestly coughed briefly over his shoulder. He just needed to finish up with this patient so that he could take all the time he needed to coax out the sneeze, or do whatever – He just needed a break.

Reuben took in a shaky breath and slowly guided the Q-tip into the child’s mouth, clenching all of his muscles while trying his hardest to keep his hand from shaking, and trying his hardest to ignore the burning tickle in his sinuses. While getting close to the back of the child’s throat, Reuben feels his body release a quick shutter from how uncomfortable it felt when a strand of clear phlegm tried to peak out of his left nostril. He sniffles out of habit and causes the itch to erupt like lighting a stick of dynamite and feeling it explode right inside of his nose. Instantly, he pulls his hand out from the child’s mouth and tries to quickly duck his face into the crook of his elbow with his teeth clamped shut, turning completely away from his patient and her family.

“hhH-H’IEGTTZSH!!” The first sneeze was desperate, wet sounding and forceful. He wasn’t quite fast enough to land it in the crook of his elbow, so it partially sprayed mist out into the open and onto his arm.

“Bless you!” The girl yelled, shocked from the loudness of the abrupt sneeze.

“Eh’ktsh-I’SSH…!!”

“Bless you, bless you!”

“Hh’ktsshsh!”

“Bless you!” The girl giggled from both enjoying saying bless you so many times and from peering over the pediatrician’s shoulder to reveal the look on Reuben’s face as he pulled his head out from his elbow. She had to look past his loose, disheveled beige locks to see his nose softly twitching and the distressed, hazy look on his face, signaling to her that he still wasn’t done.

“Hah-hh… E-excuehh-HhUH… Huktshn!”

“Bless you!”

“Eh’SSH! ‘Scuse be.” Reuben croaked, voice now thick and strained from the well overdue sneezes.

“Bless you, mister! Wow!” The girl exclaimed in awe. “If I ever sneezed that many times, I would die!” Reuben tried to apologize, knowing how disgusting and messy he looked through glossy eyes and constant sniffling.

“Don’t apologize for something you can’t help.” The mom instructed, giving Reuben a look of concern. “We all get sick, and that includes doctors too.”

He weakly shook his head, still feeling the tickle burning away at his nose as he released muted pants that made his chest bounce with each breath. He felt truly awful, but at this point he didn’t much care how he looked anymore. He just wanted the itch to leave him alone. It had caused enough havoc with him, and he wanted it to stop. The gentleman grabbed a handful of tissues and instantly blew into them, sneezing two more tired sneezes, while having them get muffled during the blow and from the soaked tissues, but he still received two cheerful ‘bless you’s from the girl. He couldn’t help but smile at the child and the pureness in her heart for blessing him so many times.

“Thangk you both.” Reuben croaked before dipping into his elbow again, releasing deep, chesty coughs into it. The sneezes seemed to open up his throat, making it scratchier and drier. On the last cough, he heard a slight rattle in his chest, which shocked him and the family in the room with him.

“I'm no doctor, but I know that doesn’t sound good…” The mother implied, with a questioning tone.

She was right. It didn’t sound good, and it didn’t feel good either. Reuben sighed and blew his nose once more into a fresh round of tissues, feeling like he had just been booted back to square one, with the subtle itch taunting at his nostrils again. So close yet so far. It felt like he was always on edge, waiting for the sneeze to build up, or for it to continue to linger in his nostrils so heavily that it made him continually breathe through his mouth.

“Alright Abel, let’s continue with the procedure.” Reuben suggested with a snuffle as he applied his hand sanitizer and picked up the Q-tip. Abel nodded and giggled at the gentleman, pointing at his face this time. He gave her a confused look at first, but then noticed that his glasses had been askew from the sneezing fit. A sheepish grin coats the man’s face as he defeatedly straightens his glasses and runs a hand through his hair as the little girl opened wide once again so that the gentleman could grab the samples that he needed. This time, it went smoothly with no issues, besides the faint hitches from the pediatrician, or the subtle sniffles he would release. “Alright. I’ll get this to the lab; they’ll do a couple tests and I’ll come back to let you know what steps we need to take after we get the results back.” Reuben informed them as he quickly left the room. He starts to release a well needed sigh as he massages the bridge if his nose, but is abruptly interrupted by Lani shoving another document into his face.

"How'd your first patient go? Great. Next patient is Alexander. Ryan had to leave early, so I told him you'd be willing to take over for his patient. You are, aren't you?" Lani asked, hoping that she had caught Reuben red handed and that he was about to give up and take the rest of the day off.

"O-of course." The gentleman says, startled as he tried to straighten up his posture and accept the document. Lani is silent for a moment.

"... Okay. Alexander just needs a simple check up. Shouldn't be too hard on you."

The gentleman nods his thanks and quickly heads into the restroom, needing a short break before he sees his next patient. He rubs his face with a few handfuls of cold water, trying to wake himself up and to give himself a bit of refreshment, and then he wipes away the beads of water into a paper towel. He knew that he didn't look 100% like himself, but it didn't matter. He was going to stay and finish his day off work regardless. He didn't want to let his patients or his co-workers down.

#sickfic #snz #snzfic #my ocs #snez #cold #sneeze #sneezefic #snezfic #original #sick #allergy #allergies

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crossbows-and-moonshine · 5 years

Text

Blood in the Water (Sequel to Such a Softer Sin) Chapter 15

(Chapter 1)

(Chapter 2)

(Chapter 3)

(Chapter 4)

(Chapter 5)

(Chapter 6)

(Chapter 7)

(Chapter 8)

(Chapter 9)

(Chapter 10)

(Chapter 11)

(Chapter 12)

(Chapter 13)

(Chapter 14)

Okay, so some of you guys might be a little upset with me since it’s gonna feel like I've skipped over some stuff. So let me explain myself a little before the pitchforks come out looool.

I’ve mentioned before I don't plan my writing, I free write. I literally open a blank document, start typing randomly and the story makes itself. Because of this, I’m often surprised myself with where the story goes and believe me when I say the whole baby thing was not expected and it became a little hard to write honestly with my personal experience on the matter.

The story was in a very dark place, and I was so stuck on how to move it forward. At one point I almost considered not even finishing it o.O

So, this chapter is me trying to move things along back to a place that's nice to read and not so horrible and dark. As much as I love hurt and angst, too much of it is a bad thing.

So if you’re upset with me for skipping over some things, I’m sorry. It was either this or abandoning the story altogether.

----------------------------

The back of the van was slightly cold and Lila shifted, her ass going numb as she sighed.

“Think they’ll be done soon?” Rocco asked quietly from beside her, he was fidgeting himself and she knew he was nervous.

“I have no idea Roc.” She replied softly, laying her head on his shoulder. It was D day, the day she had been waiting for and the boys and their father were currently inside the courthouse. There was a risk, being in public like this. They had quite a few cops on their side but anything could happen and they were both nervous for the boys to return. Rocco had been instructed to stay by Lilas side for two reasons; the first one being the assholes thought he was dead and they all wanted it to stay that way, they wouldn't go looking for a dead man. The second was the fact that the boys were reluctant to leave Lila by herself at all, and having Roc there eased their minds when they wouldn't be able to be with her themselves.

It had been a couple of months now, it hadn't been plain sailing in the slightest. Despite Lila and the boys wanting to go back to how it used to be, it of course took time. The distance the boys had created by leaving her for so long and the heartache of the baby still loomed over them, making things awkward and strained at first. Connor had been the one to push through, knowing he had no choice. He would plonk himself down next to her and sling an arm around her shoulders, he knew it would encourage his brother, give him some confidence to touch the girl himself. Eventually, with each passing day, things started to ease up and they managed to slip back into the same easy routine they had always had. Both boys touching her without thought, Lila enjoying it, the three of them just gravitating towards each other all of the time.

Lila’s mental state was also something that took time to piece together. At first, she had nightmares every night which worried the boys to no end. When she would wake screaming, she wouldn't let them touch her and would mutter things to herself. Her mood swings had also been almost unbearable, but they pushed through because they loved her, and even though she no longer blamed them, they still blamed themselves. In time, the nightmares got less frequent until they were rare, and with that, her moods seemed to settle and she started to seem happier than she had been. They were all grateful for it. The boys knew they made the worst mistake of their lives with leaving her, they would never be able to take it back, all they could do was help her through anything she needed and be there for her, or give her space when she wanted.

The boys were unsure at first if she would ever want another baby with them, to start a family, but when they started being intimate again, they didn't use protection and she hadn't said a word. It was unspoken between them, almost like all of them were too wary to bring it up, but the knowledge was there all the same that they still wanted that with each other. They knew if she got pregnant again, it wouldn't replace the life lost, not by a long shot. That wasn't why they wanted to have another baby with her. They wanted a family with her, a new baby would just simply be an extension, the baby they had lost was a soul in their own right and no amount of other children would ever take their place.

The bags were packed and ready in the van, Noah would be driving them to the docks where they'd already got passage on a boat. It was all set up and ready, all Lila and Rocco had to do was wait for the three to return so they could be off and start their new life. It felt like a lifetime until the boys opened the back doors of the van and hopped in, Noah getting in the front and making a quick getaway. She looked at them questioning, no words needed, asking if it was done. They both nodded and she sighed in relief. The boys looked lighter and she knew why. They had sent that piece of shit to judgement and the boys knew, they had faith that God would punish him justly for what he had done, not just to them and their girl, but anyone he had ever crossed.

Rocco moved over to the other side of the van knowing the boys would want to sit either side of her and he wasn't wrong, the boys settling on each side. Connor laced his fingers with hers as Murphy wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It was a profound moment after what they had just done, where their life was heading, and none of them could bring themselves to speak, just letting the moment wash over them. It didn't take too long to get to the docks and on the boat, Lila sharing a room with the boys and Rocco sharing with Noah.

It took a few days to get to Ireland, they were all getting a little stir crazy by the end of the trip and Lila couldn't wait to just have some decent rest. The beds they had been staying in had been small and reminded her of prison cots, she had been alternating between each boys bed every night since they couldn't move them together, they had been attached to the wall. The plan was that Rocco and Noah were taking one car, going to the farm they’d be living at now, their new home, whilst the boys took Lila on a little detour to see their Ma. They'd be living close enough to her that if they had children, she would be able to be part of their lives. They had all agreed not to tell their mother about anything, especially not the baby, they didn't want to hurt her. All she knew was that the boys' father had come back into their lives and they had all decided to move back home. Annabel hadn't been upset about it, it meant they were close by and she really wanted to meet Lila.

Lila was nervous if she was honest. She knew the woman liked her, they had talked on the phone a lot and got on well. But meeting her face to face was different, especially when Murphy and Connor kept going on how scary she could fucking be. They pulled up a dirt road to a quaint little house, Connor stopping the car. Murphy had been sat in the back with her and he jumped out, her following suit. The door opened and Annabel walked out, a wide grin on her face at seeing her boys for the first time in years.

“Ma!” Murphy laughed boyishly as he ran over, wrapping his arms around her. It was fucking adorable and Lila watched him with a smile of her own. Connor smirked at her, walking with her as they made their way over to the door. When she released Murphy, Connor embraced her, it warmed Lilas heart to see the boys with their mother.

“Well, come on then, let's look at ye.” The older woman grinned as she practically shoved Connor out of the way to see Lila. Murphy snorted at the offended look on his brothers face.

“Christ on a cracker, ye little shits failed te mention just how pretty she is.” She chided, making Murphy squint at his Ma whilst Lila blushed furiously.

“Well that's a fuckin’ lie, we told ye all the fuckin’ time how beautiful she is.” He huffed, wincing when he got a clip around the ear. Lila had to bite her lower lip so she didn't laugh but Connor was more than happy to laugh loudly at his brother's misfortune.

“Language around the ladies, ye little fuck.” Annabel scolded him, making him pull a face and lower his head.

“What ladies?” Connor snorted jokingly, only to grumble when he too got a clip around the ear. It seemed to cheer his brother right up though.

“It's lovely te meet ye lass, me lads are lucky te have found someone te put up wit’ their shit.” Annabel grinned as she wrapped her arms around Lila.

“They're not all bad.” Lila snorted as she hugged her back, making the woman bark out a laugh.

A few hours later and just like Murphy had imagined all that time ago, their Ma had shown her every baby picture of the boys she owned whilst complaining about everything they had ever done wrong. They were sure the woman had a fucking list somewhere that she had kept to keep track of everything. The twins had watched on with stupid smiles on their faces, loving how their mother seemed to love the girl as much as they did, it was nice watching them laugh together, for them to be home. It just felt right that she was there with them.

“I can get ye a job at the Anvil, the boys' uncle Sibeal could use a spare set o' hands and he wouldn't mind another pretty face te have around.” Annabel said as she sipped her tea, making Lila grateful, she had been worried about getting a job here.

“Just make sure he keeps his fuckin’ hands te himself.” Connor squinted as he pointed at her.

“Aye, or we’ll cut ‘em fuckin’ off.” Murphy scowled, making his mother snort a little. It was strange to see her boys, now real men, being so protective and jealous. She wasn't too surprised though and she knew exactly what they meant. Sibeal could be a bit of menace when he wanted to be around women but she had no doubt Lila would put him in his place herself if it ever came to that.

“So, when's the weddin’?”Annabel asked bluntly. The three of them went quiet. They hadn't really talked about it, or thought about it. The wedding was supposed to be in Boston but that obviously couldn't happen now despite the fact they had paid for some of the shit already. Now they didn't know what they were going to do. Annabel looked between them all and laughed, noticing their faces.

“I should've known ye wouldn't have thought about it, ye little fucks. Don't worry about it, I’m sure Father O’Malley will be happy te do the weddin’, I’ll have a word wit’ him and get it all sorted.” She said, clearly excited about the whole thing. It was weird for the boys to see their mother enthusiastic about something other than booze. They were glad though, not only was she approving of the relationship, they knew she would indeed take care of everything and after all they had been through, planning a wedding wasn’t something they were looking forward to.

After some more ear bashing about the fact they hadn't called and made her worry, they were once again on their way, this time to their new home. When they pulled up, Lila was shocked at how much land they had. She wasn't sure just how they had acquired it but she wasn't going to ask. As she got out of the car, she noticed the little cottage with the lights on, knowing that's where Noah would be. Rocco was living in the main house with the three of them but he would be living in the extension which had all its own facilities. She had no doubt though he had no intention of cooking for himself when she would do it for him. It was like this place was made for them and she could honestly imagine raising children here, it made her excited and her heart hurt all at the same time.

The boys came out of the car and stood on either side of her, Connors arm around her waist and Murphys around her shoulder

“So, what do ye think?” Connor asked, glancing at her with a smile.

“I really like it, it feels like home already.” She grinned, making boy boys beam smiles at her. They could make it work here. It was time to look forward to the future now and try to let go of the past, and this was certainly a step in the right direction.

Taglist; @risingphoenix761 @daryldixonandfrogs @arlaina28 @divadinag

#boondock saints #boondock saints fanfic #murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus fanfic #connor macmanus #connor macmanus fanfic

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diaryofanormalkid · 5 years

Text

Yesterday was another CRAZY day with my American Dragon Crush ‼️😳

{okay so to be clear, I’ve been progressing SO much with my American Dragon crush these past couple weeks but I haven’t been able to write it all because 1) It’s a lot!

And 2) I have so little energy to because I’ve been working so much. Like last week I worked a full 7 days in a row, and I’ve never done that EVER. I always have days off inbetween.

So when I finally did get my day off last week Friday, I was running errands and by the time I got home I was too tired to type it all. But sooo much has happened this whole time}

Anyways yesterday was so intense with like progression with him that I just couldn’t wait to share. Even though there’s so much other things that happened, I’m like so conflicted.

So yesterday I had an evening shift and he was working until 8. We had about 4 hours before he was going home, but BOI did he utilize those 4 hours to his advantage.

So when I came, right off the bat we broke the ice which is always better if he expects me to talk to him for majority of the shift. So good on his part I guess.

So I was at his section/station of where he works and as I was walking by, he literally tickled my side 😧 mind you, this is not the first time he’s done this.

It might be the first time I’m documenting it though! If it is, well looool this might be a surprise then. But yeah, so I was kinda not into but I was into it at the same time?

Because I lowkey hate when ppl touch me in general, no matter who it is. So the principle still kinda applies to him. Honestly, I’m not even sure how I felt about it.

I just smiled because he was doing it as a greeting. The whole time though, whenever we were near each other he would ask “what’s up?” Repetitively, as he always does, just to annoy me.

And it kinda worked, I was responding “you know what’s up!” Or just imitating him in his voice and saying it back to him, finding something clever to respond back.

My other coworker joined in on it because at this point many of our coworkers know about our little back-and-forth thing with that, so they eventually have started joining him in making me annoyed.

Sooo THEN my one coworker who was there was on break and I was just passing by to put away some stock and get other stuff, and he was also there, so they felt the need to ask:

“You working tomorrow? What are you gonna do on your day off? You have a date?” And these two ALWAYS like to ponder on my dating life, which I am always so flustered with.

But I’ve gotten used to them by now that it doesn’t fluster me as much as it used to anymore. Regardless, I was still unsure of how to answer, so I just played along and said I do.

And they kept probing and asking, “you have a date? Where are you gonna go?! What time is it?” Things of that nature, and I was like “10!”

So they go, “10am? So early!” And I laughed because i actually meant pm, so they’d leave me alone, but they just assumed it was 10 in the morning.

So after that, he would do or say any little thing to get my attention. Like, “britney, why you so tall? Britney, what’s up?” And at these points I was just shrugging because I was tryna do my job.

Later now, I had to go in the back to wash the salad bar dishes and put them away. So he would pop by every few mins to check in on me and hand me more dishes to wash.

He started asking me what my age was. I was like “we already talked about this, I’m older than you?” And when I wouldn’t answer a specific age, he kept asking and asking.

“How old are you, for real, Britney?” So I just kept saying, “older than you!” Repetitively. But he wouldn’t budge. So then I finally just told him, “I’m 21!” And he’s like “???????” Finally.

Like idk why he acted so shocked, I told him, “we already talked about this. I’m older than you!” And he was like, “this whole time I thought you were in high school, gr. 12”

And I was like naw that’s gotta be a lie/joke because he’s asked me about my major in the past before? Anyways, so I wanted to mess with him so I went to say, “actually, I’m 12.”

So he’s like, “no seriously, you’re 21 though? You were born in 1997?” And I was like, “actually, no, I was born in 2006.” Just to keep up the joke about me being 12.

And he’s like, “no, like forreal, you’re born in 1997?” And finally I was like, “yeah, 1997. I’m older than you by a little over a year. You’re 20, right? Or 19?” Because I wasn’t sure of his birthday.

So he goes, “I’m 20. Turning 21 in December.” And I actually didn’t remember his birthday was that late until now. “Oh yeahhh.” I go. “Your birthday is when?” He asks. I told him it’s in September.

After that refresher of our ages, he would pop in to check on me every once in a while and bother me, etc. And then I finally finished my stuff in the back.

I was getting ready to go on break and my other coworker and him were headed to get some scratch and win lottery tickets at the gift shop across the hall from us.

So my one coworker asked me to scratch one of hers for her. We were unfortunate, and lost. We decided we would buy some more right before I go on break.

I offered to buy it for her with my $1 that I had in my purse since they only cost a loonie, and she accepted. So I went to go get my money and as I was heading there, he was trying to stop me.

I was like pushing him away and trying to go around him but he wouldn’t let me pass. So then he starts to ask me if I can buy him some of his lotto tickets too, but I declined.

He was like, “please. Here I’m handing you the money.” But I still declined just to mess with him. I proceeded to tell him I’m going on break so he needed to me and then he let me pass.

So I went over and bought the ticket, my coworker and I scratched it and we lost yet again. And then I took my break, but majority of the time I spent talking with all my coworkers.

They came over to where I was sitting half the time and we were all roasting each other and messing with each other. It was nice having them all there.

That was one of the first times we all felt that chill and relaxed at work, having a good time on a slow day. I really appreciated that moment because those are rare moments I hardly get.

Anyways, so after my break was gonna be around the same time that him and one of my other coworkers were going home, so they were basically just counting down the time to go home.

And then time came around for them to leave and he kept saying he was tired and he had to drive but he didn’t know if he could because of how tired he was.

But eventually he left and just left me and my one coworker alone. We both were having a fun time by ourselves because it was literally the slowest day ever and nobody was there.

For some reason, we just had so much free time so we talked a LOT about deep stuff and like it got so intense and then somehow my coworker just ended up

coming out to me.

So I asked who else knows and she said no one, but her sister knows and her best friend, but her parents don’t. So I was shocked she told me, and... like overwhelmed a little.

But I hardly acted surprised, even though I was. I literally didn’t pick up on that vibe WHATSOEVER, so I can’t believe how blind I was to that?

I think I reacted pretty calmly, actually. She didn’t make a big deal out of it, so I didn’t either. And like she trusted me enough to tell me, so I think that’s why it wasn’t dramatic.

It doesn’t always have to be. Sometimes it’s a big deal, other times, it’s not. This one was one of those times where it wasn’t, and she said she respected my opinion on how I felt about it.

As a Christian, I mean. As I was explaining to her how I truly felt about LGBTQ prior to that since she was asking me a lot of questions about how I felt.

It was a very intense secret to share with me though, ngl. Like I just feel a lot of pressure in a sense, to not share that with anyone. I’m the kind of person who would never dare anyways.

But still, I can’t believe she trusted me with that info. Anyways, she was telling me how she experienced a break up recently and I felt so bad. In hindsight, I realized when it happened.

Because one of the days at work she showed up in kind of a bad mood and was talking on the phone while on the job and then came back in an even worse mood it seems.

And she’s the type of person where if she’s in a bad mood, to just leave her alone and let her be. She gets over it quickly and will come back to you. But that day, it was pretty bad.

Pretty much lasted majority of the shift. She even had to text me and apologize because she felt bad at how she acted. I could tell something was up and msged her if it’s all good.

She never ended up never responding to that text which meant everything was not all good. And we can see that now with the info she told me.

So yeah, the end of our night was us kinda just talking about that, and my surprise at it all. And her appreciating me being a Christian but still being as accepting as I am of LGBTQ.

In retrospect, I can tell she was trying to feel out how “harsh” of a Christian I am to see if I would be fully accept of her if I were to find out she was LGBTQ.

Which I get. This topic is sort of tricky for me as a Christian because as much as there is progression with the LGBTQ community, there are still Christians that don’t accept them.

And it’s complicated for me. Because I don’t believe I am homophobic. I’m not discriminatory towards them, I don’t go out of my way to be rude or do bad things to them.

And I explained all of this to here as she was asking me, but she still said as an LGBTQ person she respected my answers even if I don’t believe being gay is natural.

Because I still treat everyone all the same and kindly. I don’t do anything rude or disrespectful to LGBTQ. I was even explaining how half the time you can’t even tell, much alike with her‼️

I treat everyone the same, no matter what they identify as. But also, being a christian, as controversial as this might be to a lot of you and as hard as this is to say and not offend:

I don’t believe being LGBTQ is natural or something you are born with. And I’m sorry if that lets anyone down/makes anyone uncomfortable. But I have to speak my truth.

I just don’t. If any of you feel like this will be a problem for you in the future and it makes you uncomfortable, then feel free to unfollow. I’m inclusive towards everyone, but I don’t promote LGBTQ on my blog, if you haven’t noticed.

As in, I’m not necessarily going to partake in the celebration of it. And that’s just me and my truth. I can’t be anybody but myself. On a different note, as a Christian:

You’re also taught to love your neighbour as you would love yourself. And that’s why I said what I said about me not just going to mistreat LGBTQ just for being who they are.

I love everyone. And everyone deserves to be treated with respect and be treated equally. Because then what msg am I spreading as a Christian by being hateful toward LGBTQ?

That’s literally the point of being a Christian. To spread love! Jesus didn’t say spread love only to those who are similar to you, He said to spread love in spite of your differences.

And if I can’t freely spread love to ppl just because of their label, then the msg I’m spreading is actually hate and that would be hypocritical of me as a Christian.

So I’m proud to call myself a Christian that can love anyone and accept anyone with open arms. But I will stand by my thought that I don’t believe being LGBTQ is natural.

And it’s not a matter of anyone trying to convince me otherwise, you can tell me all the stories you’d like, but it won’t change what I know and believe is the truth.

Everyone is allowed to have their opinion and I would hope me expressing that on my online diary isn’t going to get me hate. But the point of me expressing it also is so that I am honest.

And ppl can realize my character, who they’re following. Get insight into what I actually think of certain issues and topics and social activism etc.

Again, truly, I’m sorry if you end up actually reading this far down and you read this and this offends you. But I’m not on here to be fake, this is a diary to express my innermost thoughts.

If I can’t be myself on here, then I can’t be it anywhere. And I can’t please everyone. So please don’t try to come for me just because you don’t agree.

Seriously, you can simply unfollow/block if you have a real problem with my words. I’m not here to bash or offend anyone here, but I’m also not gonna filter/sugarcoat my opinion.

I’m gonna be unapologetically myself and that may not be okay with you so if that’s the case, that is fine. Like I said, feel free to disregard my blog/unfollow/block. I won’t hate you.

I still respect and appreciate everyone of you who are LGBTQ and follow me 100% even if I don’t actually agree with one aspect of your lifestyle. It’s not that big a of deal to me.

But who even DOES agree with all aspects of othe ppl’s lifestyles? No one. I would just like to further express that even if I don’t agree with your opinion on this topic, you still matter.

Like you and your life as an LGBTQ person still matter. Your feelings and your experiences are valid and I’m in no way trying to invalidate what you feel or experience.

Your lifestyle is YOUR lifestyle just like my diary is MY diary. And what you do with your life is your business. I can’t tell you how to live it at all because at the end of the day it’s you and God.

And God is there to judge you for the life you’ve lived, not me. So that’s not for me to be judging you, it’ll be God. Heck, but some of you don’t even believe in God.

That’s okay too! Because you know, God gave us free will. And so, even if you so choose to not believe in Him, He’s still there and He loves you sooo much that he wanted you to have free will.

To be able to choose whether or not you’re going to accept Him into your life and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Because if you do, it makes it that much more significant.

If God were forcing us to just love Him and accept Him as our saviour without any sayso or free will to choose, there would be no significance or meaning to our actions.

It would mean absolutely nothing that we believe in Him. That’s why free will is such a blessing. Because making that choice to accept God as your Lord and Saviour is the best choice you can ever make.

And I don’t mean that fake deep surface level spiritual relationship with God. I mean a REAL relationship where he’s living on the inside of you and you feel sooo alive and grateful.

Grateful to be alive and to be able to live for Him in the best way possible by bringing more followers to Him. Utilizing your gifts and talents for Him. Serving Him.

When you make that choice, your life changes around for the better. It does a full 180 and all the storms and bad breaks and cloudiness and dark times become happiness, peace joy love.

Once you get a taste of that, you’ll just want more and more. And you’ll do everything to chase after God and build the best relationship you can with Him.

He’d restore you spiritually and fills you whole with the Holy Spirit. And put His anointing and blessing and favour over your life so you can live abundantly.

You will always have a friend to rely on in difficult times. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult times, it means He’ll be with your every step of the way during them.

And help guide you and build your strength and deliver you out of it. So you become a better person coming out of the storm, because your faith in Him built your character.

See, because sometimes God will allow these storms to happen so He can test you. Test your faith to see if you will pass. He wants to feel out how much faith you have in Him.

And as long as you trust and believe in Him, He will always deliver you out and conquer your battles for you. But faith sometimes takes patience. So prayer always help with that.

That’s why it’s important to develop the fruits/virtues of patience, kindness, gratitude, and generosity. Because God desires those characters, because they are like God

So, on that note:

{please be kind to everyone. No matter what label, denomination, race, class status, occupation, etc you have/are. Spread love and not hate. Love and peace to everyone ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜}

And that is my message to you. Now that I’ve gotten that about the LGBTQ community I actually sort of feel a burden lifted off my shoulders. Like I wasn’t able to be my authentic self even on my blog! It’s like a sigh of relief. Even if this ends up getting a lot of hate, or if no one ever see’s it and reads it all, at the very least I’ll still be glad that I spoke my truth in a respectful manner and was able to fully show who I am as a person on my online diary.

I want to end it off here now because that was super long and I didn’t even know I’d be putting all this religious stuff at the end but maybe God had a msg for me.

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