#and the player's ineptitude is high on the lists
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Not to pull a dudebro l2p moment here but if you can't keep Gale alive and he barely does any damage/is barely useful in a fight, particularly later in the game, then that's on you. You made shitty choices in the level up screen, and then you're making shitty choices in combat. Learn to use him well instead of coming online and shouting with your whole chest how inept you are at playing a certain class while shitting on a character in their tag
#nobody cares that you think character X is shit bc you're terrible at playing them#I couldn't play a warlock the first time so I just learned for my second playthrough and used Wyll#but most importantly - I wasn't shitting on him in his tag#and this is coming from someone who thinks that rpg games specifically can benefit from having a mode where you can skip combat entirely#so it's not some flex about skills#but rather about being tired of seeing posts shitting on characters for the dumbest reasons#and the player's ineptitude is high on the lists#gale#my posts
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cont; Being the Wallflower //Closed RP
@fidelixcorde continued from this thread~
Just as he’d been surprised to see her at all, Harry was more surprised when Taylor spoke up. She was normally so...unobtrusive, as if she was actively trying to avoid being noticed--but not in a shy or fearful manner. She just wasn’t usually front and center.
But this room she spoke of sounded quite promising. They put a pin in that, and turned next to when; Harry did not blame his fellow Quidditch players for being concerned for their practice schedules, though he could--for once--understand why Hermione was annoyed by it taking priority.
Though, then again, it would be in their best interest not to hinder the teams; any change in routine, and appearance of reduced focus on Quidditch, would no doubt catch Umbridge’s eye or ear.
He zoned back in to find the talk shifting rapidly--Umbridge’s ineptitude, which Taylor apparently knew the truth about loud and clear, and then that somehow brought up one of Luna’s odd conspiracies--and Ginny brought them back to the subject at hand.
Hermione got the names of everyone joining, and Harry did not miss those who hesitated--though they were appeased by Hermione’s testy reminder that this was her, she was not about to risk losing track of such an incriminating document.
Taylor signed last, and Harry smiled at her a bit shyly, before Hermione spoke again. At Taylor’s confirmation she could show them the Room, Hermione nodded. “Perfect,” she beamed. “Perhaps tomorrow, I don’t want to risk curfew when we get back to the castle tonight.”
They wrapped up, the list tucked very safely away in Hermione’s bag, and then headed out. “Well, I think that went quite well,” Hermione said happily as they emerged into the bright sunlight a few moments later.
“That Zacharias bloke’s a wart,” Ron grumbled, who was glowering after the figure of Smith just discernible in the distance.
“I don’t like him much either,” Hermione agreed, “but he overheard me talking to Ernie and Hannah at the Hufflepuff table and he seemed really interested in coming, so what could I say? But the more people the better really—I mean, Michael Corner and his friends wouldn’t have come if he hadn’t been going out with Ginny—”
Ron, who had been draining the last few drops from his butterbeer, gagged and sprayed butterbeer down his front. “He’s WHAT?” he asked, outraged, his ears now resembling curls of raw beef. “She’s going out with—my sister’s going—what d’you mean, Michael Corner?”
“Well, that’s why he and his friends came, I think—well, they’re obviously interested in learning defense, but if Ginny hadn’t told Michael what was going on—”
“When did this—when did she—?”
“They met at the Yule Ball and they got together at the end of last year,” Hermione said, eyeing him with concern. They had turned into the High Street and she paused outside Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop, where there was a handsome display of pheasant-feather quills in the window. “Hmm... I could do with a new quill.” She turned into the shop.
“But,” Ron protested, following Hermione along a row of quills in copper pots, “I thought Ginny fancied Harry!”
Hermione looked at him rather pityingly and shook her head. “Ginny used to fancy Harry, but she gave up on him months ago. Not that she doesn’t like you, of course,” she added kindly to Harry while she examined a long black-and-gold quill.
Harry blinked, honing back in on the discussion; this information did bring something home to him that until now he had not really registered. “So that’s why she talks now?” he asked Hermione. “She never used to talk in front of me.”
“Exactly,” Hermione confirmed. “Yes, I think I’ll have this one....” She went up to the counter and handed over fifteen Sickles and two Knuts, Ron still breathing down her neck. “Ron,” she went on severely as she turned and trod on his feet, “this is exactly why Ginny hasn’t told you she’s seeing Michael, she knew you’d take it badly. So don’t harp on about it, for heaven’s sake.
“What d’you mean, who’s taking anything badly? I’m not going to harp on about anything...” And Ron proceeded to continue muttering under his breath all the way down the street.
Hermione rolled her eyes at Harry and then glanced at Harry with a half-smile. “But speaking of pairs--I was glad to see Taylor Borelli came. And she’s so eager to help out! I’m looking forward to seeing this Room tomorrow, aren’t you?”
Harry gave his friend a bemused look. “You could go, just the two of you.” Hermione didn’t reply, and he sighed. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll come along. But don’t be like that, ‘Mione, she and I never even spoke again after the Yule Ball. She’s cool, but she’s not bothered one way or the other about me.”
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Talking about the smidgens we saw of Gale, the wizard of Waterdeep.
[Baldur’s Gate 3 Early Access Spoilers]
Updated, AGAIN, because the hell of new aspects we saw when some bugs were sorted out.
Warning: all this analysis was done for game versions 4.1.83 and 4.1.84
Well, I had to rewrite all this because the explorations of dialogue options and the bugs being, somehow, solved, allowed me to see small details from Gale that stand out or end up being more than curious to me. I'll list his main features to make things short (hopefully), and useful for... eventual fics:
Gale is a char who approves any good treatment to animals (and creatures in general). He has a cat, a Library, and writes poetry sometimes.
He doesn't like gratuitous murdering which is implied in the anecdote he told us about how he stopped a massacre in a Waterdeep city inn just by buying a round to everyone. It is also implied in his approval in most situations; even in the one with the ogres having sex.
He gives you disapproval most of the time if you use violence and intimidation as your first approach in solving a situation. He prefers eloquence, diplomacy, and negotiation. However, he is flexible enough to approve a performance-intimidation in front of goblins to avoid bloodshed. Point (2) is primary. So... he truly is a pragmatic char. It's not white and black: “never use intimidation/lie” or that kind of over-simplistic view.
He likes logical and reasonable conversations. An action that earned his disapproval can be undone if the main char (MC) talks to him and explains their reasons. You can disagree with him without having approval penalties most of the time. You can question many situations and, as long as it remains a mental exercise, there are no penalties. That surprised me a lot. Most characters disapprove you if you wonder about a potential situation, but Gale no. He is the scholar, he will allow a safe space to think around things without being too judgemental. We will see if this attitude lasts in the full game. No wonder some players see in him “the Teacher” archetype. Quite so.
He was an Arch wizard while being Mystra's Chosen One, and fell from grace when she put him aside. What is hard for me to grasp is if he remained Chosen One and therefore able to cast silver-fire during that intermediate period when he stopped having Mystra's whispers and his folly with the netherese taint. We know that in that moment Mystra removed herself from his life completely. But before, she has only stopped whispering and sleeping with him. So far I understand, being her Chosen One doesn't imply sleeping with her, most of the time.
He was a teacher (not surprising, since his over-explanation vices and details such as the pronunciation of “Trashj” make us suspect it), and had some students that he could not keep longer since their ineptitudes irked him.
Unlike the stereotypical “scholar” type, he knows how to cook, since he has been doing stews for the party in the camp. He also loves baths. A bit siding with the stereotypical “scholar” type, but a nice change for a “standard adventurer” type, in which most of the time it is implied that they are stinky with “animalistic” scents and uglier descriptors. No, Gale likes his lavender-scented baths. Good.
He is an over-thinker strategist. And also a char who takes responsibility for his own mistakes to the point that, when he dies for the first time, a programmed image is activated to help anyone to revive him. Despite the fact that he is dead and can give a shit about that, he is still responsible of the catastrophe that may happen if that weird magic orb stuck in his chest erupts.
He is also forcing me to check the dictionary like no other game has done in a while... the fucker uses uncommon words a lot of the time. Smidges? really? Gale is a hard char for a non native English speaker.
We can assume that during his teenage time, he was a pretty prideful peacock to the point to be blind at the reality (well, yeah, he romanced a goddess; if that doesn't give you a hell of a ego boost...) He remembers his young self's pride with a thick level of regret. He is now a mature scholar that, for a change, does not patronise you or thinks of himself better than anyone. Sure, he over-explains a lot, but that's something that most scholars/teachers do when they are worried that, maybe, they won't be understood.
He is confident in his years of study (for that reason he is a capable wizard despite having lost Mystra's favours), but he acknowledges his limits. Which is a nice change to see in the “scholar” archetype, the typical know-it-all. He knows a lot, he knows that he knows (it would be ridiculous to hide his knowledge), but he is human, and like he says: “humans are fallible”. However, it’s more than obvious that he has a big ego for everything he does, which makes sense since he follows a motto in his life: “try to excel at everything”. High accomplished scholar lifestyle, indeed.
If you don't share the Weave with him, he will state that nights are lonesome. It seems he truly is looking for some connection with a keen fellow mind. Probably it's this loneliness which triggers his urge to see Mystra's face during the night. We also know he, in general, lives in constant fear due to the Netherese taint in his chest. So, very lonely, and very scared.
I don't know if this is his poet side unable to be switched-off or it's another implication of how he sees sexual encounters: he never says sex (at least in my many runs, he never did it). He always gets around the word: love-making, art of the body, intimacy. For a scholar who is so prone to use the technical word for everything, and has already stated he is not coy at all, the use of these metaphors make me wonder if it's because he always conceives sex as something more than mere physical pleasure. For him, it seems to come with a more emotional connection (which makes sense if we think he will only sleep with those who connected to him through the Weave). Another small detail that may confirm this is when he asks the MC if the “other night” was wonderful. If MC claims it was “fun”, Gale shows a certain degree of uneasiness by that word choice, making us infer that he certainly doesn’t see sex as “fun” but as something else, deeper.
His tadpole dreams are about Mystra (rather obvious). His most desperate desire is forgiveness. Mystra's forgiveness.
Mystra was his first love. The affair did not last long. And since soon after her abandonment he looked for the Primal Weave book and was infested by it; one could assume he has been focused on solving his problem for the rest of his life than putting some energy in romance, especially if we think about (13). It's hard to say with certainty (especially with banters like these), but since he is a char that you can only sleep with if you share a mind-connection through the Weave, it seems less plausible that he could encourage into casual relationships during all this period of his life looking for a solution to the Netherese orb. If he got previous relationships, they may have been meaningful, but clearly not enough to win over the goddess’ and his urges to see her, lol.
He did not mind Mystra having many other lovers besides him. It seems to be the same with the MC, since he will insist in sleeping with them even after the party and even after the MC slept with someone else (however, that only occurs if the romantic connection through the Weave happened.) This fact combined with (13) and (15) make me wonder if he certainly wants to be with the MC too badly, even in an open relationship. We need to see the rest of his romance to be sure.
Since he looks for forgiveness so desperately, he is a char who will forgive most mistakes made by the MC if they acknowledge them.
He is a char who knows how grey and complex situations can be. This is inferred by the way he speaks of the tiefling girl who tried to steal the idol in the Grove: “She is not innocent, but that doesn't mean she is guilty.” (of course there is a lot of self projection there). This is also implied in his (surprising) approval of raising Mayrina's husband and giving her the control wand to search for a solution in Neverwinter. That shows that he can accept the fuckest weirdest situations, recognising that “sometimes we can’t choose situations but we can try to do our best, not always having the best results”. Also self-projection.
He appreciates his privacy to the point to leave the MC if the abuse of the tadpole power continues. However, and honouring (4), you can abuse of these powers and convince him with reasons: if you don't lie to him and explain that you have a responsibility with the group to know what happens with his secret, he will understand, and despite disapproving the MC actions, will remain without major troubles.
Certainly, as long as you give him reasons and logical concepts, he can almost understand everything with no disapproval or at least little one.
Consent and negotiation are vital to him, apparently. However, this aspect reaches a flaw. He was too angry with Nettie when she almost killed the MC, and he made a short speech about how nobody has the right to decide your options for you. Yet, in his romance scene, we see that he deliberately hid his true relationship with Mystra and his bomb-condition in order to sleep with the MC. In fact, during the party, if the MC tells him that doubts if he is the one they want, Gale will drop a curious argument: “That’s because you’ve yet to find out what your’re missing” (implying that he himself is what you need), followed by his most curious “Doubt is a spoilsport. Cast it aside”. That coming from a scholar is rotten, lol. He tries every convincing argument to sleep with the MC (if they shared the moment of the Weave, of course)
This happens in every variation of the path: whether the MC sleeps with him in the party, or afterwards, Gale will always wait for sharing a night with the MC before speaking the truth. It's hard to read this aspect since, he is a char who, apparently, needs a mind-connection with his partner for intimacy (see (12) and (13)); so this terrible strategy is like his way of trying to guarantee that the MC will not abandon him. I guess there is something along those line, specially if we keep in mind the book he explained: a book which is not only about the art of the body and the night and sex, but of other things such as conversation, exploration, and acceptance of oneself and the other. He is expecting with this night to reach the MC to a certain degree of intimacy in which, despite the raw truth, the acceptance will prevail. Remembering (16), he truly wants to sleep with the MC, baaaadly. And somehow everything feels like he wants to push things in a subtle way to a certain degree of commitment. Following the concept in (12), I think he has been alone for too long, and desperately needs someone in his lonesome nights and in helping him to deal with his burden. Finding someone who connected to him through the Weave (such a personal experience for him as it is) made him a bit desperate or eager. We know his emotion for the MC may have grown over those days since the connection with the Weave. In two occasions he or the MC can ask if both of them think about that moment. Gale says yes with such enthusiasm, that it may imply...that maybe, he has been thinking about that more times than he truly wants to tell the MC. The Weave moment had such a strong effect on Gale that, if the MC spent the night with another companion and rejects Gale’s proposition later, he will trail off a sentence that implies he was convinced that the MC and he were heading into something serious and deep.
Of course, once he sleeps with the MC, he confesses the truth right afterwards, accepting--without approval penalties--the harshest responses that the MC can give. He clearly knows that such manoeuvre was truly disloyal, especially contrasting it with all his speech of consent and rights to know about the true situation one is in. In the next morning, he acknowledges it was a rotten thing to do and apologies. But this shows that his principles can be bend and even be broken when it comes to emotions. I'm still a bit wary of his emotional stability, what can I say.
Mystra is more than an ex-lover for him, it’s magic. And Magic is everything for him, even more than life. I wonder if, given the opportunity, Mystra forgives him and asks him to return to her side, would he accept it without second thoughts leaving the romanced MC? It's true he also acknowledges that all that fascination he had with the goddess was a product of his youth; he knows he was a plaything in her hands. But I don't see he got over with it. He still idealises her, as such a good poet does. Idealisation, especially when a Goddess is involved, is a terrible thing to fight against for the next partner. No matter what speech of loyalties and consent he states during the whole game, the MC knows that magic and Mystra are Gale's Achilles’ heel, and factors in which they can’t predict his behaviour.
We also know that, because his bomb-condition, he tries to take all the opportunities to enjoy the little things of life that make him human.
Gale is a straightforward and honest (mostly, let's say) char. But we can see that he prefers to be honest in most situations, except in his Achille’s heel. Even when he wanted to hide all the stuff about the bomb in his chest, he did it by explicitly warning us that he was hiding something he did not want to talk about. Which is an honest approach considering the hardcore burden he carries and the immediate rejection it can mean if the truth unfolds too quickly among strangers.
When it comes to concepts, Gale has the symbol of the storm attached to him. So far, we see he talks comparing things with storms or storm elements: his lack of knowledge to explain why they are not Mind Flayers yet: the silence before the storm; the fear that rushes into his body when the Weave orb asks him for magic to consume: the thunder of a storm reverberating in his soul, the day it will erupt: the lightning striking, the consumption of magic: water running through a sore throat, Life itself: a tempest. When he asked the player if they were a wizard, he explains that he needs an Arch wizard and compares them with a Tempest. If we see the main image of Baldur's gate 3, it's clear that his main element is electricity/storm... so... full witch-bolt-guy here.
[updated later] The Weave moment is important to romance Gale. Leaving the moment in ambiguity will give the MC another opportunity to make their intentions clear during the scene of the Loss. However, remaining vague will lock Gale into a friendship path. What happens during this scene may suggest that the ambiguity in the Weave was enough to keep Gale thinking about the romantic possibility, but he will not engage into it by his own, which confirms (15). Unless the opportunity presents itself clearly before him, he will not pursue the MC. Further details [here].
Last moment detail: Gale says “I cherish you” when he explains he will await death alone if the Netherese orb goes out of control. I was not sure if that meant something more or less than love or like (I can’t not overlook the subtle meaning of the words coming from Gale’s mouth, he is a poet and his word choices matter). Checking the dictionary I found that “cherish” (in a relationship) is defined as to hold or to treat as dear, to feel love for and to care for someone deeply and tenderly. This man went straight into a commitment relationship without thinking it twice, and without (I believe) the MC knowing it either xD.
Let's see how these characteristics shift or develop deeper once the full game is out there. Now we have to wait a lot :(
To see videos where all this stuff is inferred or explicitly said, you can check [here]
More videos added later [here] and [here]
More content of bg3 in general [here]
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Gary Sanchez
Let’s talk about a player that is a true baseball enigma. A player who is both simultaneously one of the best at his position in the last decade and an absolute bum that isn’t worth a bag of balls. A player who put up a 2020 so putrid that light could not escape his lineup spot. Today, Evan takes you inside the gift basket on Gary Sanchez.
Where Do We Even Begin?
There is a lot I could say about Gary Sanchez in 2020, but I’ll just let this supercut do it for me.
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I mean, sure, that’s a bit disrespectful, but it’s not even 1% of how disrespectful Gary was to the concept of hitting last year. We’ve seen bad years from good players, and we’ve seen bad years from bad players, but I don’t think any of us have seen 60 games futility on the level of what Gary showed in 2020 since we were hyping up Stephen Drew’s push to finally reach a .200 batting average late in the 2015 season.
It looked bad to the naked eye, and boy the numbers make it look even worse.
I debated even sharing numbers with everyone about Gary’s 2020 because what else is there to say other than, “He better fucking not do it again.” Well, sadly, numbers are necessary to try and eke out whatever possible silver lining we can from this abject disaster of a year.
So...Positives?
1. At least the season was only 60 games long so we only had to watch Gary look like beer league player who took that designation far too seriously for two months.
2. He hit this dinger in the Wild Card series against Cleveland, so that’s nice.
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3. He still posted a Hard Hit Percentage of 41.3% and a Hard Hit% that high typically correlates to, a lot of damage done at the dish. This is actually his 2nd highest Hard Hit% over a season in his career and does speak somewhat to the narrative that Gary was not just bad at making contact, but was getting terribly unlucky when he did.
4. He didn’t post a bad walk rate honestly. Came in at functionally 10% with 18 walks in 178 PAs, so at least he wasn’t literally always useless.
So, that is a short list, and I had to be generous to even get it to 4 things. Just strap in. I hate this as much as you do.
Reality Interjects
1. I am just going to let this image of Gary’s zone charts for 2020 speak for itself. How the hell do you have 0 base hits on literal meatballs? How? HOW?! HOW?!
2. I mean just look at that. That 69 is his OPS+.
For comparison, here is Jeff Mathis’ career.
Mathis is widely known to be the worst hitting everyday player in the MLB for pretty much his entire career, which is now 16 years long. Imagine having a season on par with this guy when you’re not a 37 year old and are supposed to be one of the scariest hitters in the league, especially relative to your position.
3. Just talking about this for 500 words already is making me feel a bit queasy.
4. Remember when I said that Gary had a pretty elite Hard Hit%? Yeah, well, it meant very little.
Here’s the rest of Gary’s batted ball stats. He basically did 3 things, and only 3 things: strike out; send a lazy popup to the left fielder, or beat the ball into the shift and lumbered on down to first, touched up, and then walked back to the dugout with his head hanging. It doesn’t matter if you hit the ball hard if all you’re gonna do is hit grounders to the side of the field with 3 people standing around.
5. I just want to point out that in just 178 PAs, Gary struck out 64 times, compared to just 23 hits and 41 total times on base. We all knew this from watching, but when you put it that simply—that he basically struck out 3 times for every time he managed to get a hit in such a small sample really does just show the depth of his ineptitude. Your eyes didn’t lie. He was that pathetic.
6. I wanted to just post a supercut of Gary’s strikeouts here, but not even YouTube would host such a vile video. Instead, here is a hilariously short highlights video, which is equally damning if you think about it.
youtube
2021, A Year for Hope?
The fact is that no matter how bad Gary looked in 2020, he’s projected to be better in 2021, because, really, it’s not like he could be worse.
At the bare minimum he should at least be an average hitter with power and not be an absolute hump behind the dish, and, personally, I think these are a bit pessimistic.
I would be equally unsurprised if Gary easily made the All-Star Team as if he would be off the team come the playoffs or even the ASB itself. Based on his career to this point, we can assume a better season from Gary as this is an odd-numbered year, and, again, there really is nowhere to go but up.
Evan’s Official Release the Kraken? Gift Basket Prediction
I think both of the following slashlines for Gary are equally realistic assuming an injury-free 2021:
.255/.355/.510 with 30 bombs and 95 RBIs and being heralded as an absolute god
.190/.275/.410 with 12 HR and 46 RBIs and getting released or traded
Either way, the easiest thing I can say about Gary in 2021 is that we really have no idea what to expect, but that it would take something truly special for it to be as miserable as 2020.
Get scary again Gary. Please. And quickly. Please. Please.
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RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 17 Extravapalooza
Well, here we are at the end of the most unique NFL season in memory. Was it the smartest idea in the world to stage an entire professional football season in the midst of a rampaging viral pandemic? No, it really wasn’t. But, somehow, the NFL managed to make it through the year without any outright disasters (sorry Broncos, having to start a practice squad WR at QB doesn’t really count), and they did it through the tried and true combination of blind luck and pure willful ignorance. Yay, I guess? I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t appreciate having games to watch, but the whole enterprise was downright impressive in its blatant disregard for common sense and social responsibility. That’s why it’s America’s game!
There’s still a fair amount of playoff-positioning to hash out this week, which always lends a nice bit of urgency to some of the proceedings. I’m far too lazy to go into those particular weeds myself, so I’ll just link you to someone else’s work if you want to study up on the various scenarios in play.
My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.
EARLY GAMES
Baltimore Ravens (-14) at Cincinnati Bengals
If the Ravens win, they’re in the playoffs. The Bengals don’t have the horses to offer much resistance against a supremely motivated Ravens team. I will say that the most entertaining turn of events for someone with no dog in the fight would be for Baltimore to somehow lose this game, for the Browns to win, and for Ravens fans to have to sweat the result of the Colts/Jags game to see if they make the playoffs. Friend of the blog Fryan Turd would likely suffer a half-dozen heart attacks in this scenario.
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-2)
I have no idea how important clinching the #2 seed in the AFC is to Buffalo, and if it’s not a big deal to them they may rest some guys for all or some of this game. The Dolphins will remain feisty to the very end, of that I’m certain.
Pittsburgh Steelers at Cleveland Browns (-9)
The Steelers are sitting a whole bunch of guys and the Browns are in the playoffs with a win. I will say that losing this game to Mason Rudolph and subsequently missing the postseason would be an incredibly Brownsy thing to do.
Minnesota Vikings (-4) at Detroit Lions
Despite having nothing to play for and no reason to risk further punishment, Matthew Stafford is suiting up for this one. Dare I say that Stafford is...A GAMER? I do dare say it. I hope he whips ass and the Lions win in what could be his last home game in Detroit. I would sacrifice one of my siblings to get Stafford onto the Patriots this offseason, and also to get a larger share of my family estate.
New York Jets at New England Patriots (-3)
Oh man, this is not going to be a fun game to watch AT ALL. Sullen Bill Belichick, Broken Down Cam Newton, Traumatized Sam Darnold, Dead Man Walking Adam Gase--this game has way too many depressing ingredients, to say nothing of the very-likely-to-be atrocious quality of play. Let’s just move on.
Dallas Cowboys (-1.5) at New York Giants
This is essentially a playoff game, as each of these teams needs to win (and for Washington to lose) in order to clinch the shittiest division of all time. I’m taking Dallas here because they’ve been rolling in recent weeks and Daniel Jones isn’t close to 100% healthy, but what I want most is for the Giants to win, the Football Team to lose, and for us to get the hilarious spectacle of a 6-10 playoff team.
Atlanta Falcons at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-7)
I’ve ridden with the Falcons all season, why stop now?
[looks at season record]
Okay, that might be a good reason to stop. BUT I AIN’T GONNA!
Hey, do you think Matt Ryan could end up on New England? He went to Boston College, right? What have I become, coveting other teams’ used goods? This is no way to live.
LATE GAMES
Green Bay Packers (-4) at Chicago Bears
I’m greatly enjoying the Trubiskaissance. The Bears making the playoffs would make for some tremendous restlessness and conflicting emotions among Bears fans, as a strong showing would likely mean that Mitchell and Matt Nagy will run it back next season. This would entertain me as a man who isn’t a Bears fan.
Las Vegas Raiders (-2.5) at Denver Broncos
I truly have no opinions or thoughts on this particular contest. Oh wait, here’s one: fuck the Raiders for ruining so many of my picks. Here’s another: Do you think New England could trade for Derek Carr? HELP.
Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts (-14)
The Jags are quite possibly the most ready-to-start-their-vacation team in the league, and the Colts need to win this game to make the postseason. I’m bummed about how things turned out for my man Gardner Minshew this season in Jacksonville. I hope he’s able to continue his career with a franchise who appreciates his comedic potential more fully. You know who would love him? Famous mirth-merchant William Belichick.
Los Angeles Chargers (-4.5) at Kansas City Chiefs
Tremendous opportunity for Justin Herbert to pad his already fantastic rookie-year numbers against the K.C. JV team. The thing that makes me the most nervous about this pick is the possibility that Chargers Head Coach Anthony Lynn knows that this is his last game, and as a result will make sure to unveil his most breathtaking piece of clock-mismanagement performance art yet.
Arizona Cardinals (-3) at Los Angeles Rams
I can’t in good conscience get behind a team that intends to start John Wolford at QB, no matter how awesome their defense is. Then again, maybe if Sean McVay basically controls his movements Ratatouille-style the way he does with Jared Goff, he’ll be okay. If Arizona loses and misses the playoffs, Coach Handsome might experience the quickest progression of “This Guy Has No Idea What He’s Doing” to “This Guy Is A Genius Who Is Changing the Way Football Is Played” and back to “This Guy Is a Dipshit” of any coach I can remember.
Seattle Seahawks (-6.5) at San Francisco 49ers
The Seahawks continued there whole “now the defense is good, but the offense is kind of blah” thing last week in a 20-9 win over the Rams, and I see no reason to think things will change. The Niners finally got All-Pro TE George Kittle back from injury, but then immediately lost studly rookie WR Brandon Aiyuk. The injury gods have really had it in for them this season. Despite the brutal injury luck, San Fran has remained competitive all season, and I say they keep this one within a TD.
New Orleans Saints (-6) at Carolina Panthers
The Saints won’t have RBs Alvin Kamara, Latavius Murray, Dwayne Washington, or their fullback Michael Burton. They’ll also be without WR Michael Thomas once again. If I were Saints Head Coach Sean Payton, I’d start Taysom Hill at QB for this game so that he can use his legs to augment the severely diminished run-game, and also to give Drew Brees’ ribs more time to heal. I’d also be an insufferable dickhead. Well, more of one. Okay, I’d be the same, I’d just be addicted to pain pills. More addicted, I mean. I’m Sean Payton.
Tennessee Titans (-7) at Houston Texans
DeShaun Watson has been absurdly good this season, despite the total shitshow around him. He leads the league in Yards Per Attempt while also being third in the league in Completion Percentage at 70.1%. He’s not dinking and dunking his way to his eye-popping numbers. You’d think having a franchise QB in place would make this a primo job opening for potential head coaching candidates, but between the lack of high-end future draft picks and general ownership/executive ineptitude, it’s gotta give a desirable candidate pause. Yikes. Clearly, Houston should trade DeShaun Watson to New England.
SNF: Washington Football Team (-3.5) at Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles have nothing to play for and a bunch of key players are skipping tonight’s game. Among them are TE Dallas Goedert and RB Miles Sanders, which is going to make things extra tough for QB Jalen Hurts against Washington’s exceptionally nasty defense. The Football Team also has major injury questions, as QB Alex Smith, RB Antonio Gibson, and WR Terry McLaurin are all listed as Questionable. As of this writing, it looks like all three of them are going to play, but I have no clue how effective they’ll be. All of this uncertainty does not make for confident betting, imo.
Last Week’s Record: 4-7-1
Season Record: 99-112-8
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“So, what would you change if you got the chance?” It’s the immortal question almost guaranteed to come up when you get people sitting around talking about their favourite team or book or game. About a year ago, some of us had that conversation about Simon the Sorcerer.
Everything that’s happened to us since, from setting up Storybeasts to getting the licence to make a new Simon game came out of that conversation in one way or another.
One subject that we kept coming back to was magic. Magic in the previous Simon games was pretty vague, not so much to keep it mysterious but more because of the nature of the character.
He used magical effects to get past puzzles, but he had no idea they worked, and that was okay – because he didn’t understand magic, the player didn’t need to understand it either. But the more we thought about it, the more we realised that if you only get it right, some kind of freeform magic system would be a way to build dynamic puzzle solutions that gave more of a sense of control to the players.
That idea just wouldn’t go away. So when we got the chance to create a new Simon game, that kind of magic was high on our list of things we wanted to include. It was at this point that we hit the sticking point – the title, ‘Simon the Sorcerer’ is more a sarcastic jibe at our hero’s ineptitude than a statement of his amazing powers.
We could have solved that problem right away by saying that he’d spent the intervening years focusing on the discipline required to master the mysterious arts, but as soon as we started to imagine him in magic school, the first thing that came to mind was him trying to find way to skip class. The Simon we knew would never have stuck it out.
We didn’t want to give the magic to a simple sidekick either – we needed a character that was fundamental to the plot, someone that had the dedication to learn all this stuff, someone driven, dependable, professional, and very probably a bit uptight and stressed out – the exact opposite of Simon in fact – the Anti-Simon.
We played around with a few other ideas before we realised that what we needed was an alternative Simon from another reality. That thought became the basis of the whole story.
It was a simple decision to make her female (apart from anything else, it allowed us to call her Simone – it’s a slight gag, but it immediately flags up who she is and how she relates to Simon) and her personality seemed pretty clear – she’s everything Simon isn’t. We just had to work out what she looked like (1).
(2) Based on a quick discussion of her personality, Anna drew up a collection of heads to give us something concrete to talk about. From there, she went through a number of different incarnations of her costume until we finally settled on the design below.
When you see them together the resemblance should be pretty clear, but we wanted something more than a comical ‘Simon in a dress’ character – she had to be a character in her own right. She’ll also be a playable character in some parts of the game. As she begins to regain the magic lost to her world, you’ll get to learn how her magic works with her enabling you to get inventive with how you use it solve the puzzles she encounters.
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10 winners from Week 6 of the NFL season
Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports
Sam Darnold just needed a serious bout of mono to reach his potential as a quarterback.
There are two undefeated teams left standing through six weeks of the 2019 NFL season. The Patriots and 49ers remain at the top of the league’s pecking order, matched only by the inspired ineptitude of the Bengals and Dolphins on the other side of the spectrum. Cincinnati and Miami, both winless, continued their glass elevator ride to the top of next year’s draft by adding another defeat to a growing list of them.
Twenty-eight teams sit between them with varying postseason hopes. The Seahawks and Saints each made pointed arguments that they belong with the Niners in the NFC’s upper class with wins against the Browns and Jaguars, respectively. The Texans turned their road game in Kansas City into an opportunity by upending the Chiefs and gaining half a game on the bye-week Colts in the AFC South standings.
And a certain team from Georgia continued its rich tradition by melting down late in a soul-crushing game. Am I talking about football? Baseball? College football? Doesn’t matter!
But Week 6’s action was filled with winners that go beyond the final scores. Here are the 10 biggest victors of the week so far.
It wasn’t: the Chiefs, who have to be at least mildly concerned about Patrick Mahomes’ ankle
Mahomes started his Week 6 showdown with the Texans with quite possibly the greatest single-drive passing performance in NFL history. Thanks to four different Chiefs penalties, he was able to throw for 116 yards in the game’s first three minutes.
we are barely 3 minutes into this game and the Chiefs have had the ball once pic.twitter.com/FY5zHPAZpF
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 13, 2019
But the reigning MVP couldn’t come close to sustaining that pace, and a bum ankle may be to blame. Mahomes appeared to re-aggravate the lower leg malady that had limited him this season when he took a big hit in the second quarter. This left him unable to fully step into his throws or easily escape pressure in the pocket, taking away the versatility that makes him so dangerous.
After a stunning start where he averaged 19.3 yards per dropback, Mahomes completed just 51.7 percent of his passes against a Texans defense that was missing Johnathan Joseph and, for the second half, Bradley Roby. Mahomes averaged only 5.4 yards per passing play after that opening drive as Kansas City, watching an early 17-3 lead dissolve into a 31-24 defeat. The Chiefs have now lost two games in a row, and while that’s something this team can overcome, a diminished Mahomes may not be.
Now, on to ...
This week’s actual winners
10. The Dolphins, whose quest for the top overall pick in next year’s draft is still very much intact
Siri, show me the two-point conversion play you’d run when you want to ensure you’ll have the top pick of the 2020 NFL Draft.
The Dolphins two point conversion to win, did not succeed pic.twitter.com/gXSIgdd0p0
— Vikings Blogger (@firstandskol) October 13, 2019
Ah, perfect. With that Washington win and the Jets’ triumph over the Cowboys, the Dolphins are one of only two winless teams remaining through six weeks of the 2019 season. Those two teams play in Miami in Week 16. Tickets will not be expensive.
9. Jets defensive lineman Leonard Williams, who may not be a Jet much longer
Williams has seen his value in New York fluctuate wildly since entering the league as the sixth overall pick in 2015. He had seven sacks in a Pro Bowl sophomore season, then just seven sacks in his next 37 games with the Jets. He only has four quarterback hits in five games this fall.
That hasn’t scared off other teams from floating trade possibilities to New York’s brain trust:
Sources: Multiple teams have called the Jets to inquire about the availability of DE Leonard Williams.https://t.co/IPMwsSyc6S
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) October 13, 2019
The Jets got their biggest (and only) win of the season Sunday when they upended the Cowboys — more on that later — but at 1-4 they still have an uphill climb just to get into the wild card discussion. Williams badly needs to revive his value as a player with free agency looming in 2020. It doesn’t look like he’ll be able to do that with an uneven Jets franchise. Unless he gets traded to Washington, Miami, or Cincinnati, a new team would be a win for him.
8. Everyone who didn’t have to watch Titans-Broncos Sunday afternoon
Tennessee and Denver combined for 15 drives in the first half. All but four ended in punts.
Gross. Sunday’s game was a major win for any remaining Ryan Tannehill fans, however. He was inserted into the lineup with five minutes left in the third quarter to replace an entirely ineffective Marcus Mariota behind center. He drove Tennessee into Denver territory in three of his four drives.
And he scored zero points in a 16-0 loss.
7. Lamar Jackson, who is usually on this list for his aerial exploits ...
But not today. While he was a perfectly acceptable passer (21-of-33, 236 yards, 0 TDs, 0 INTs), Sunday’s win over the Bengals was a function of his still-impressive ground game.
Lamar Jackson’s career-high 152 rushing yards during Ravens 23-17 win over Bengals are the fourth-most by a QB in a game in NFL history, including the postseason. Jackson joins Colin Kaepernic as the 2nd QB to record at least 200 passing yards and 150 rushing yards in an NFL game
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) October 14, 2019
Jackson now has 460 rushing yards in 2019, putting him on pace for a 1,200+ yard campaign. Michael Vick’s single-season rushing yard record for a quarterback is currently 1,039 yards — and Vick seems pretty hyped about Jackson’s odds of eclipsing him in the NFL.
6. Stefon Diggs, who the Vikings absolutely should not trade
The Vikings made no attempt to hide the fact they were going to involve Diggs heavily in their offense against the Eagles, giving him the ball three times in their first six plays. Despite this, the Eagles steadfastly refused to even consider double-covering him.
This was a tremendously bad idea.
Weeks 1, 3 5: Vikings forget they have Stefon Diggs on their roster
Week 6: Eagles forget Vikings have Stefon Diggs on their roster
(4 catches, 135 yards, 2 TDs in ~ 20 minutes of game time) pic.twitter.com/5vW2xWmAlo
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 13, 2019
Diggs repeatedly roasted the Eagles’ half-assed man-to-man coverage en route to seven catches, 167 yards, and a career-high three touchdowns (a fourth was only stopped by pass interference in the end zone). Minnesota and its revitalized offense improved to 4-2, remaining undefeated at home in the process.
5. The Saints’ defense, which made mustaches and headbands slightly less fashionable in Jacksonville
The Jaguars had surged the past three weeks under rookie quarterback Gardner Minshew. The mustachioed gunslinger had built a reputation as one of the league’s most promising young arms after throwing six touchdowns and zero interceptions in his last three starts, going 2-1 in the process.
His biggest test of 2019 came Sunday, and the NFC’s most complete team made sure he failed it. New Orleans stopped Jacksonville’s offense in every phase of the game in a 13-6 win, limiting the Jags to an inefficient 4.1 yards per play and coming up with Minshew’s first interception as a starter in the process.
The first INT for Minshew as a starter comes at the hands of @shonrp2 #Saints | #NOvsJAX pic.twitter.com/wm4ORJFzP7
— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) October 13, 2019
New Orleans also shut down Leonard Fournette, who came into Week 6 as the league’s third-leading rusher. He needed 20 carries to gain just 72 yards as Jacksonville was held without a touchdown for the first time this season.
4. Kyler Murray, who absolutely looked like the No. 1 overall pick
Here’s Murray’s box score through three drives against the Falcons:
As impressive as that was, Murray took those numbers to new heights by spreading those 10 catches across eight different targets. Starting wide receiver Christian Kirk’s absence failed to throw a wrench in the rookie’s development, as he took advantage of Atlanta’s scattershot defense to carve up the NFC’s most depressing team.
Murray finished his day with career highs in total yards (372, with 340 through the air), yards per pass (9.2), and passer rating (128.2, topping his previous best of 90.5) en route to a 34-33 home victory. At 2-3-1, the Cardinals now just one win away from besting last year’s record — though with their only triumphs coming against the 1-5 Falcons and 0-6 Bengals, it’s tough to take their playoff hopes too seriously.
3. The Patriots’ defense/special teams, which is papering over any concerns about Tom Brady’s slow decline
Through six games, the Patriots have scored two touchdowns on blocked punt returns. That’s one more touchdown than opponents have scored through the air against their league-best passing defense.
New England has returned to its early Bill Belichick roots, fielding a dominant defense to prop up a good, but not great (at least so far in 2019) quarterback. That group has allowed three touchdowns in six weeks, which is excellent. It’s also scored three touchdowns in six weeks, which is insane.
Meanwhile, Brady has shown signs of mortality in recent weeks. He threw red zone interceptions in Weeks 4 and 5 that wiped out scoring opportunities. His inability to feel his pocket collapsing around him on Thursday night led to a sack and fumble return touchdown that also cost him his top receiving threat — Josh Gordon was injured making a goal-line tackle on the play.
A leaky offensive line hasn’t helped the 42-year-old so far this fall. Isaiah Wynn’s return to injured reserve pushed Marshall Newhouse, signed off the street in September, into the starting lineup at left tackle. He’s effective in spurts, but also prone to brain farts that leave his comparatively elderly quarterback vulnerable to big hits:
Marshall Newhouse gets beat, holds his man, gives up a sack anyway
Pats really, really need Isaiah Wynn to get healthy pic.twitter.com/qTuLEBE9f5
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 11, 2019
New England is 6-0 after beating opponents by an average score of 32 to 8. But those wins came against only one club with a winning record, and there are plenty of questions left for the Patriots’ to answer. Fortunately for them, 2019’s most dominant defense has plenty of answers.
2. 49ers defensive coordinator Robert Saleh, who made the Rams look like a Sun Belt team
Through 80 percent — 48 minutes — of a showdown with the Rams in Los Angeles, the Niners had held the defending NFC champs and their explosive offense to 14 net passing yards. LA took its first drive of the game 56 yards for a touchdown, then saw four of its next six drives end in negative yardage against a San Francisco defense that had 15 men on the field at all times — or, at least it seemed that way. The Rams averaged 6.0 yards per play coming into Sunday. They gained 3.1 yards per play against the Niners.
That defensive mastery wasn’t limited to harassing Jared Goff into bad decisions with pocket-crumpling pressure. San Francisco swallowed up a Todd Gurley-less running game with regularity, leaving the Rams few avenues to success.
Another huge stop as the defense holds the Rams on 4th & 1 #BeatLA pic.twitter.com/WTd0t99BTz
— San Francisco 49ers (@49ers) October 13, 2019
The Rams didn’t convert a single third- or fourth-down attempt, and they had 13 damn tries. One such stop — a goal-line stand on fourth down in the middle of a 7-7 game — made Saleh absolutely lose his mind on the sideline.
Goff had more sacks taken (four) than he had passes for a first down (one). LA gained 157 total yards in its most anemic performance in the Sean McVay era. Now his team is 2.5 games behind the 49ers in the NFC West standings, and Saleh deserves much of the credit for that hot start. Head coach Kyle Shanahan recognized that, too; he allowed Saleh to take over his postgame presser and field questions about his dominance Sunday night.
The Rams will have a shot at revenge against San Francisco, but it won’t come until a Week 16 date in Santa Clara.
1. Sam Darnold, who somehow got better after getting mono
Darnold missed three games this season thanks to a bout with mononucleosis and the enlarged spleen that comes with it. This was ultimately very fortunate for the Jets, because the spleen is where football talent is stored.*
The second-year quarterback roared back to relevance to roast the Cowboys in his triumphant return to the field. His 338 passing yards were the second-most of his blossoming NFL career and nearly double the 175-yard performance he put together in a Week 1 come-from-ahead loss to the Bills. His 10.6 yards per pass was the highest single-game mark he’s ever recorded.
That included the longest play from scrimmage in the NFL so far in 2019:
That sun staying out late tonight.@youngamazing9 | #DALvsNYJ pic.twitter.com/miBD7ZC1ca
— New York Jets (@nyjets) October 13, 2019
Darnold was solid for all 60 minutes Sunday, with the exception of a third-quarter interception that erased a scoring opportunity. He completed two of his three pass attempts for 48 yards in New York’s last meaningful drive of the game, leading to a 38-yard Sam Ficken field goal that served as the winning points in a 24-22 win.
The Jets may be 1-4 on the season, but they’re a .500 team with Darnold behind center — and if this version shows up every week, New York may finally have found the franchise quarterback it’s been looking for since, uh, Chad Pennington? Ken O’Brien? Maybe Joe Namath?
*citation needed. I am not a doctor.
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Round 5
THE SEA EAGLE
MAKING RUGBY LEAGUE GREAT AGAIN!!!
Round 5
Manly Sea Eagles 26
Defeated
Newcastle Knights 18
In recent years the Knights have had the wood on Manly which is not surprising given that former (Manly) Coach Barrett was Nathan Brown’s slapee, an upshot of the infamous slapping incident in 2003.
It’s also fair to say that current (Manly) Coach, Des Hasler won’t be the slappee for anyone, especially someone with the mediocre coaching and playing credentials of Nathan Brown, who has, unlike Coach Hasler never won anything as either a player or a Coach.
Travelling to a traditional graveyard (i.e. Newcastle), Manly started this game in fine fashion and in the blink of an eye led 18 – zip. In the opening stanza Manly were very slick in attack and opened the scoring after only 3 minutes when Horhay Torfua cross after some fine work from new recruit Kane Elgey.
Despite further tries to Garrick Ruben and Joel Thompson, the Knights managed to fashion a score against the run of play and Manly held a 18-6 lead at the break, a score-line which to some extent flattered the Knights. Then again, the Knights refused to take the 2, on 3 occasions leading up to half time, and failed to penetrate the very good Manly defence. Had those shots been taken, it may have seen the score 18-12 at oranges and the Knights still in the hunt. Yet again, proof positive that as good old Rex Mossop used to say, if it is within kicking range and you can kick it dead, take the two, because the worst that can happen is you get the ball back from a 22 drop.
Manly were unable to maintain the momentum in the early part of the second half and signs were ominous in the initial set when struggling centre three quarter Brad Parker stuffed up a play the ball, in regulation fashion, then proceeded to abuse the referee for his own ineptitude, and gifting the Knight’s possession which lead to a converted try. Suddenly the Knights were back in the contest, and had they taken the two it would have been 18 all not 18-12.
Thankfully, Manly were able to re-group from this set back and took the two on both occasions it was offered. The first shot by Chery Baby missed, hit the posts and failed to go dead giving the Knights the ball back (proving also that Rex Mossop failed to factor in these unfortunate chaos theory outcomes) . The second shot was better, giving Manly an easy 2 points. After that, a try to Aiden Fonua-Blake, one of the softest you will see this year, steadied the ship and Manly were in a commanding position.
Fonua-Blake, in the Sea Eagle’s opinion is one of the most improved players in the NRL, and he is certainly benefiting from the upgrade in the coaching regime at Manly in season 2019 as compared to what he was lumbered with in previous years.
Unfortunately, shortly after scoring, Fonua-Blake undid some of his good work and cleaned up Knights playmaker Michell Pearce with a high shot, was placed on report and given 10 in the bin with 12 minutes to go. Given his poor record, he looks set for another stint on the sidelines. Manly can ill-afford players unavailable due to suspension and Fonua-Blake must quickly learn to be curb his aggression and show more discipline. (See also Curtis Sironen, whose well timed head shot right across the nose on superstar Knight Quentin Ponga in the first half (by a country mile their best player), sent the Knights player into the turf and off to HIA. Sironen can expect a few weeks away as well for that one.)
Manly with 12 men in the dying stages, tackled like demons, and were then able to play out the remainder of the game to pull off a well-deserved victory and another valuable 2 competition points. Manly have now won three on the trot in season 2019, a feat that they were unable to achieve under Coach Barrett in 2018.
A few other points needs to made about this fixture. Firstly the Sea Eagle was there live, as it was a NSW Mining initiative (i.e. digging black shit out of the ground, putting it on ships and sending it to China), which keeps many hundreds of thousands of people in the Hunter employed. If the green initiatives of the Labor party come to fruition after they get re-elected, this town is going to need all the help it can get. The Sea Eagle therefore felt duty bound to slap on the NSW Mining high viz vest and cheer Manly home.
The other point is that this Manly forward pack under Coach Hasler hits hard in defence. Very hard. And when down to 12 men with a little over 10 to go, they proceeded to hit even harder, seeing the Knights unable to score when clearly they should have. It is early days, but Manly may be slowly turning the corner under new coaching.
Thus far, this year Manly have yet to start favourites in any of their five games and it is fair to say that the Bookies have under-estimated this Manly team and the impact the new coaching regime has had on their performance. In racing terms, there has been a significant upgrade, which could be likened to shifting your nag from some gormless gibberer to the Chris Waller stables, and in this scenario the results achieved by Manly this year are hardly surprising.
Next week, Manly travel to another traditional graveyard (Win Stadium, Wollongong) to face the previously struggling, but now back in form Dragons. Early markets suggest that Manly again will be out-siders with the Bookies leading the Sea Eagle to consider a re-evaluation of his previous Anti-Manly investment strategies and the possibility that in season 2019 (under the new coaching regime) it may be financially advantageous to back Manly rather then to bet against them. This of course has never been the Sea Eagle’s way, let’s face it, Manly have enough on their mind than to be additionally burdened by the Sea Eagle putting his hard earned on them as well. But it has be put up for discussion.
Izzy Folau
We all read the news this week that Izzy has unleashed, again, on social media, basically arguing that anyone who is gay, lesbian, a drunkard, fornicator etc, is off to hell. This all reminds the Sea Eagle of the song by Chris Rea, the Road to Hell.
Izzy sure didn’t miss anyone with this spray, and the Sea Eagle can only reason, that if Izzy is right, the line up to get into the gates of hell will be very long indeed. Still, many will have plenty of friends inside, as it would seem only Izzy and his cohorts won’t get a start.
All the Sea Eagle can say about this, is that Mr Folua should cast him mind back to a GF afternoon in 2008, when he faced his own version of hell, being marked by a very angry and rampaging Steve Matai of Manly, a game in which Manly smashed the then salary cap rorting cheats, the Storm, 40 zip. Mr Folau was also seen to be crying uncontrollably after that fixture, the Sea Eagle at first thought it was because of some fairly unsavoury things that Steve Matai undoubtedly said and did to him on the road to victory. But maybe there was more too it.
In any event, the Australian Rugby fraternity has yet again learned a valuable lesson about what can go wrong when an ex NRL player is let loose in their ranks. They can go rogue at any time, and anywhere, and in any number of ways, and Mr Folau has proven no different.
Well done to Israel Folau. Speaking his mind, and giving the bird to the ARU/NSW Waratahs is a refreshing change to the usual softness permeating professional rugby and sport in general. Whether you agree with him or not, what ever else you do, ignore the socialist and left leading media commentators who sprout their usual dribble about all of this.
Look more carefully at the major sponsor of the Wallabies, QANTAS, and ask yourself how many LGBT people work on a plane or within that organisation. Then do the math on the rest.
The Sea Eagle can however exclusively report that a new TV show is being planned, starring Mr Folau and Todd Carney. Of course neither Mr Folau nor Todd Carney have yet been approached, but given their current circumstances, how could they refuse? It is rumoured that it will be a simple show, with a review of the weekend round of sporting events for the 3 major codes over the weekend. Mr Folau has the background in the 3 codes of NRL, AFL and rugby, so can easily cover it all. Todd Carney on any basis would be a ratings bonanza.
The show has yet to be named, but the Director of Controversy is looking at a catchy title, like “the Bubbler”. This being a not too unsophisticated flash back to what used to be the traditional Monday morning chat about the weekend sport, around the water cooler, but now more aptly named the bubbler given the possibility of Todd Carney’s presence.
How to Go to Hell without collecting $200
In the interests of free speech the Sea Eagle has devised his own list. If you meet all these criteria you go to hell.
i. You played for the filthy rorting cheating wresting Storm
ii. You balled your eyes out after a GF loss
iii. You had a failed AFL career
iv. You played for the embarrassment that is the Wallabies
v. You are a religious intolerant zealot
If you meet all the above criteria you are a certifiable f#@kwit. You will be locked in a room with, the Inquisitor, Ian Roberts who will apply an attitude adjustment until such time as you repent
THE SEA EAGLE
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Let me start by laying out a few important things before heading down the dark path I am about to take you on: Auburn now has two losses, both to Top Ten teams,one of which was a mere three-point loss to the number one team in the country. Both games were on the road, which is hard for any quarterback, especially a true freshman. Both games were extremely winnable. The Tigers are still No. 11 and have a chance to finish in the Top Ten with two huge games remaining, both inside Jordan-Hare.
If we Auburn fans know anything, it’s frustration, and the only way this season might be more frustrating would be to beat both Georgia and Alabama, which means that winning either the Florida or LSU contests likely would have resulted in a trip to the College Football Playoff. It’s almost destiny that Auburn will do just that. The Tigers certainly could do it, if nothing else, because of the Tigers’ defense.
If you still believe in Gus Malzahn, you might want to quit reading this article. Although some may think he can’t beat either Bama or Georgia, we know he can because he has.
However, the point of this post is the entirety of the Malzahn era in which 2019 is just another chapter of the book on Gus.
Let’s begin with this weekend’s loss. We are aware that Auburn’s magnificent defense, perhaps the best we’ve ever seen, stifled an LSU offense that was averaging 50 points per game and, yes, did it against holds, hands to the face, and refs that wouldn’t call either. If the refs throw just one flag, perhaps on the touchdown that gave LSU its first lead of the game, Auburn wins despite its offensive struggles. But the flag wasn’t thrown, and despite two fourth-down stops, an interception on the goal line, and a muffed punt in the red zone, Auburn lost the game.
A frustrated Marlon Davidson, one of Auburn’s defensive leaders, offered a “no comment” on whether or not Auburn’s offensive ineptitude was responsible for the loss. Auburn fans are saying that Auburn’s best defense in a generation is being squandered by a bogged-down offense.
But, wait a second. Isn’t offense what Malzahn was brought to Auburn to deliver?
Once again, however, Auburn’s play calling and execution against an elite team was beyond mystifying. Consider that Auburn’s best offensive play of the first half was a delay draw to D. J. Williams meant to run out the clock. Instead, Williams ripped a massive run that put Auburn in position to take the lead going into halftime. But, with seconds left, Bo Nix tossed up a terrible wounded-duck pass that was picked off. While one might applaud his willingness to “take a shot,” the fact is he was running for his life and simply threw the ball across his body in the general direction of a receiver.
Auburn’s best play of the second half was almost identical to the play that ended the half except, somehow, Seth Williams caught the ball. Yes, it was an outstanding catch. Yes, it led to an Auburn touchdown, but that’s not the point. That pass play, with mere minutes left in the game, finally put Bo Nix over 100 yards passing. But otherwise, Auburn’s offense had five false starts, two intentional groundings (neither anywhere close to being arguable), and a snap over and to the right of Nix by center Caleb Kim. Anthony Schwartz had only three touches, just one in the first half. This is another head-scratcher just weeks after Malzahn admitted to not using the speedster enough against Florida.
Bo Nix threw at least three passes out of the back of the end zone. D. J, Williams’s two big runs accounted for almost all of Auburn’s rushing yards. To cap things off, despite the trick plays, the screens, and other typical “Gusist” plays, Malzahn looked to Boobee Whitlow, two weeks out of knee surgery, to provide a spark from the Wildcat.This may be the worst and most irresponsible coaching move since riding an injured Sean White into battle for the duration of the 2015 Georgia game.
Sound familiar? Auburn fans around the country are wondering just how bad QB backup Joey Gatewood can be in order to warrant sticking around under a QB completing 42% of his passes while throwing more INT’s than TD’s in Auburn’s two losses. Certainly, Bo Nix is young, and that these are vital teaching moments for the true freshman that are important to his future development.
But, hold up. Let’s break that down for a moment.
First of all, the age of true freshmen being tossed into the fire, taking their lumps, and developing over time is over. Just look at Auburn’s biggest rivals: Alabama and Georgia have both played for national championships with freshman quarterbacks. Clemson beat Alabama for a national title with a freshman QB.
The list of successful freshman QB’s is long and speaks to the ability of SEC and other premier programs to recruit and develop young talent. Furthermore, they do it so well that backups from those teams have gone on to be successful starters at other programs. Jalen Hurts may win a Heisman at Oklahoma. Justin Fields didn’t win the job in Athens, but he may be a Heisman finalist for Ohio State. Jacob Eason couldn’t take the job back from Jake Fromm at UGA but is now starting in Seattle for Washington and finding a lot of success.
That brings us to our final point: what is Gus Malzahn doing differently than the rest of these successful programs? Is he recruiting and developing on the same level as his counterparts?
The answer is emphatically, no, at least on the development front. His innovative, fast-paced offense brought him to Auburn in 2009 as a coordinator and, then, as head coach in 2013. Since then, Auburn has had three ten-win seasons, all carried on the back of the offense led by transfer QB’s Cam Newton, Nick Marshall, and Jarrett Stidham. (Although the latter two seemed to regress in their second seasons.) Meanwhile, a Malzhan-recruited kid has never won more than eight games in a season.
One thing Auburn and Malzahn have done better than any one else is land freshmen recruits who don’t pan out. But while Barrett Trotter, Jeremy Johnson, and Sean White are easy to point at, the discussion should really be about all of the quarterbacks along who never saw the field in any real capacity under Malzahn: Kiehl Frazier in 2011, Zeke Pike in 2012, Tyler Queen and Jason Smith in 2015, Woody Barrett and John Franklin, III in 2016, and Malik Willis in 2017. While several of these quarterbacks were three stars, the vast majority of them were four- or five-star recruits. None made any impact at Auburn.
In today’s football, transfers are common, especially among highly-recruited players who don’t win jobs early in their career. This is exacerbated at the QB position as can be seen by the list from Clemson, Alabama, and UGA. The difference is, not only can Auburn not field a top-notch QB or develop them over the course of a career, it can’t even keep them on campus.
Perhaps the most scathing aspect of all this is that these recruits haven’t been able to start at other schools. Woody Barrett was a four-star recruit and the sixth best in the nation in high school when he came to Auburn and sat behind Jarrett Stidham. Queen and Pike wound up changing positions at other schools. Smith played WR at Auburn in a limited capacity. White gave up the game. Johnson has become a punchline. Franklin couldn’t crack the QB spot at FAU and ended up getting NFL work as a corner. Currently, Barrett doesn’t even start for Kent State.
There can be no legitimate argument that Nix is on the same path as Jake Fromm or Tua Tagovialoa, and the lone point in his favor is that his offensive line hasn’t done its job in either pass or run blocking, even though Auburn is playing an all senior line. The future here is not bright, because it’s unlikely that Malzahn will develop Nix in the offseason, and it’s unlikely that he will have a competent line in front of him to start 2020.
Meanwhile, Auburn’s 2019 running game has struggled mightily against good competition. Many believe Gatewood could give Auburn a chance to run to set up the pass to a good set of receivers. Yet, playing Gatewood during Nix’s struggles was never a thought in the coach’s mind, based on post-game interviews.
After another dreadful performance by Auburn’s young QB, one has to wonder if Gus can develop a quarterback? Following a second disappointing loss, fans are left with three possibilities: Gus is showing favoritism to Nix, Gus is too bullheaded, or Gus believes that Gatewood has no chance of being any more successful than Nix. Regardless of which it is, all three are on Gus.
The post Does Loss at LSU Expose Gus’ Inability to Develop QB’s? appeared first on Track 'Em Tigers, Auburn's oldest and most read independent blog.
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Best TV of 2019 so far
Back to Life
Daisy Haggard’s downbeat gem took on a tough topic – a woman’s return to her home town after a stretch behind bars – and turned it into a meditation on grief, regret and the passing of time, though with enough gags to keep things zipping along.
What we said: A few episodes into Back to Life, I felt like pushing it away in protest. “No, no!” I cried inwardly. “It’s too much! It’s too good!” Read the full review
Barry
In its second season, this black comedy about a hitman who catches the acting bug took its story into darker territory, with Barry’s attempts to extricate himself from his past life only dragging him further into oblivion. Things aren’t going to end well.
What we said: Though it’s a comedy rather than a thriller, Barry replicates much of what made Breaking Bad irresistible. Read more
Broad City
After five virtually flawless sitcom seasons, Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson’s millennial kweens went out in the same way they came in: with gross-out gags, madcap surrealism and one of the greatest on-screen friendships in TV history.
What we said: This season has given Abbi and Ilana the best possible send-off. It has been joyful, silly and wild, and while it feels like the perfect and necessary time to wrap up their adventures, it is poignant that they’ve done so by reminding you just how good those can be. Read more
A fitting, shocking end ... Catastrophe. Photograph: Channel 4
Catastrophe
Another comedy that went out on a high, Sharon Horgan and Rob Delaney’s tale of floundering parents managed to deliver more home truths about the family unit, pay fond tribute to late guest star Carrie Fisher – and offer up one of the most shocking endings in recent TV history.
What we said: From first to last, Catastrophe has been an unremitting triumph. Read the full review
Chernobyl
Already sitting atop IMDb’s top 250 TV shows list before the final episode has even aired, Sky and HBO’s restaging of the Soviet nuclear disaster captures the ineptitude, corruption and horror at its core.
What we said: Chernobyl is a disaster movie, a spy movie, a horror movie, a political thriller, and a human drama, and it spins each plate expertly. The terror is unflinching and explicit, and its images of burned bodies collapsing into putrid decay are impossible to forget. Yet it never feels shocking for the sake of it, only as haunting and horrible as its subject matter demands. Read more
Finally ... David Attenborough lays bare our greatest threat in Climate Change: The Facts. Photograph: BBC/Polly Alderton
Climate Change: The Facts
After years spent hinting at the damage done to our planet by the climate crisis , David Attenborough finally laid out the threat in all its magnitude, in a documentary that may just have turned sceptics into believers.
What we said: This is a rousing call to arms. It is an alarm clock set at a horrifying volume. Read the full review
Dead Pixels
E4’s comedy accurately captured the loneliness and mundanity, but also the sense of community, that comes with picking up a controller. All that, and it was as addictive as an all-night Fifa session to boot.
What we said: This wickedly entertaining new sitcom may have been inspired by the massive success of online games like World of Warcraft but, thankfully, you are not required to know your Azeroth from your elbow to enjoy it. Read more
Derry Girls
One of last year’s surprise hits, Lisa McGee’s Northern Irish comedy didn’t let things slip in its second season, with its quartet still finding teenage kicks in the midst of the Troubles. The scene in which teens from both sides of the sectarian divide unleashed a barrage of stereotypes about each other (“Protestants hate ABBA!”) is among the year’s funniest.
What we said: Derry Girls’ magic remains intact. The evocation of the 90s is as lightly done as ever (Elizabeth Hurley is fleetingly referenced – “She’s a total ride, but she paperclips her frocks together”) and the Troubled setting never overwhelms but simply throws into relief the ordinariness of the girls’ lives in the middle of extraordinary depths of conflict. Read the full review
Don’t Forget the Driver
Bleak comedy … Toby Jones in Don’t Forget the Driver Photograph: BBC/Sister Pictures
Pulling off a state-of-the-Brexit-nation series looked a tall order, but Toby Jones’s understated comedy-drama was taller, finding humour and pathos in its tale of a coach driver who discovers a refugee hiding in his wheel arch and a body washed up on the beach.
What we said: If it is a comedy, it is one with the bleakest tragedy at its heart. But whatever label you put on it, it is a fine, fine piece of work. Read the full review
Fleabag
Back for its second (and, as it turned out, final) outing, Fleabag added a hot priest into the already heady mix of biting wit and family dysfunction – and it built to a heart-rending ending with a wedding, a mad dash to the airport … and a fox. Unforgettable.
What we said: Series two raised the bar. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s risks were so impressive all one could do was shake one’s head in appreciation. Read the full review
Game of Thrones
Unquestionably the TV event of the year ... Game of Thrones. Photograph: HBO
Did the gargantuan fantasy drama stick the landing in its final season? That’s an argument for the comments section, but both in the scale of its six episodes, and the fevered discussion they prompted, it was unquestionably the TV event of the year.
What we said: The ending was true to the series’ overall subject – war, and the pity of war – and, after doing a lot of wrong to several protagonists, it did right by those left standing. When you play the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. Overall, I think, it won. Read the full review
Gentleman Jack
Sally Wainwright travelled back in time for her latest piece of thrillingly human Yorkshire drama, with this real life tale of Anne Lister. Suranne Jones has received rave reviews for her portrayal of the 19th-century industrialist and diarist, who developed a code to hide her lesbianism.
What we said: It’s Regency Fleabag! Because the heroine occasionally breaks the fourth wall and exteriorises her inner monologue. But it’s set in Halifax in 1832, so it could be Northern Jane Austen. Then again, it’s about Anne Lister, who has been dubbed the first modern lesbian, so maybe it’s Queer Brontë ... You can afford to have a little fun with Gentleman Jack; Sally Wainwright clearly has. Read the full review
Ghosts
The Horrible Histories team offered up more unashamedly silly comedy with this spirited sitcom about a group of ghouls going to war with the new owners of a crumbling mansion.
What we said: In making us giggle at the supernatural, Ghosts is very British. But it is American in the sense of having a gag-to-airtime ratio much higher than British sitcoms normally manage these days. Read the full review
I Think You Should Leave With Tim Robinson
This deliriously absurd sketch show from a former Saturday Night Live player was hailed immediately as one of the greatest Netflix shows to date.
What we said: I wolfed down the entire series in one sitting, genuinely incapacitated with laughter. And then I watched it all again. I’m at the stage where I’m cherrypicking sketches now, but I’ve seen my favourites six or seven times. I’m fully obsessed at this point. At its peak, I think I Think You Should Leave might be one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Read more
Leaving Neverland
A devastating four-hour exposé of alleged child sexual abuse by Michael Jackson. Wade Robson and James Safechuck chillingly and plausibly outlined their accounts of childhood grooming by the man that they, and the whole world, worshipped.
What we said: An astonishing piece of work. Relentlessly spare and unsensationalist, it manages better than any other in its genre not to let its attention wander from the survivors’ testimony. Footage of Jackson is confined almost wholly to that of him with the boys themselves on stage, private calls between them and family snaps. He is never allowed to overwhelm the story. Read the full review
Line of Duty
Complex … Martin Compston and Stephen Graham in Line of Duty. Photograph: BBC/World Productions
Jed Mercurio’s police corruption masterpiece returned for a fifth outing after a two-year wait, bringing with it a stunningly complex performance from Stephen Graham, more urgent exits required … and heartstopping, jaw-dropping action to the last.
What we said: As ever, nothing is wasted; not a scene, not a line, not a beat. It fits together flawlessly – you can imagine Mercurio sitting like a watchmaker at his table with the parts spread before him and fitting the loupe to his eye before assembling the whole thing and listening for its perfectly regulated tick. Read the full review
Mum
Stefan Golaszewski’s sitcom tour de force ended on a heartwarming high. Over three lovely series, Lesley Manville and Peter Mullan as Cathy and Michael gave us the gift of a quietly epic romance that will echo down the ages – and kept the tears in our eyes.
What we said: Mum might have looked like it was just a sitcom, but it had something beautiful to say about love and loss. It’s said it. Read the full review
Pose
Assembling the largest collection of trans actors in televisual history, Ryan Murphy’s big-hearted drama about the voguing scene in 1980s New York had style, grace, swagger and sass for days. What’s not to love?
What we said: Razzle-dazzle showmanship isn’t Pose’s only source of infectious joy. Watching the slow, still-unfolding process of these characters becoming more and more their true selves is as exhilarating as the opening bars of Cheryl Lynn’s Got to be Real. Self-actualisation isn’t easy, but it sure is beautiful. Read the full review
Pure
Frank and fearless ... Pure. Photograph: Sophia Spring/Channel 4
Following a young woman with a form of OCD called Pure O, which manifests as constant invasive thoughts about sex, this comedy-drama was among the year’s frankest and most fearless TV.
What we said: The drama and the gags are never sacrificed to worthy exposition, virtue-signalling or finger-wagging, but, at the same time, the series has so evidently been made in good faith that you can surrender to it entirely, never fearing that it will put a foot wrong. Read the full review
Russian Doll
A hipster Groundhog Day, but also so much more, Natasha Lyonne’s comedy about a thirtysomething trapped in a time loop of death and rebirth proved a truly mind-bending proposition.
What we said: Russian Doll is an acquired taste. But do persist: there is such a fine, idiosyncratic, impressive show nested within. Read the full review
Sex Education
Gillian Anderson starred as Jean, a sex therapist whose son Otis (Asa Butterfield) – though too anxious to masturbate himself – sets up a sex advice service at school. A punchy, horny comedy, with the added bonus of the fantastic Ncuti Gatwa as Otis’s best friend Eric. Worth watching for his heroic prom outfit alone.
What we said: Endlessly and seemingly effortlessly funny, in a naturalistic way that doesn’t have you listening for the hooves of the next gag thundering down a well-worn track but, like Catastrophe, catches you almost unawares and makes you bark with laughter. Read the full review
The Last Survivors
Sam Dresner, Anita Lasker-Wallfisch, Frank Bright and Susan Pollack ... The Last Survivors. Composite: BBC/Minnow Films Ltd
Arthur Cary’s thoughtful, wonderful and always dignified 90-minute documentary heard the stories of some of the last living people who survived concentration camps as children. A very important work indeed.
What we said: For an hour and a half, I was crying, especially when Cary followed three generations of Holocaust survivors to Auschwitz, knowing all the time that tears are not enough. Nor guilt. Read the full review
The Other Two
How would you react if you could barely get cast as Man Who Smells Fart in an advert while your kid brother became a Bieber-esque teen hearthrob overnight? That’s the premise of this brilliant satire, which skewers our pop-culture-obsessed society spectacularly.
What we said: It has heart, charm, steel, belly laughs and a gimlet eye. Get on it. Read the full review
The Victim
John Hannah and Kelly Macdonald starred in an intelligent drama about a vigilante attack on a potential child killer that managed to ask ever more challenging questions as its episodes rolled on.
What we said: It is a drama that resonates with its time by asking what constitutes a victim and how much leeway we allow in bestowing that status. Do they have to be perfect? How sure do we have to be? And what happens when the perpetrator becomes a victim too, of a different kind? Read the full review
The Virtues
Shane Meadows reunited with This is England star Stephen Graham for an unflinching drama about a troubled dad attempting to reunite with his long-lost sister and process childhood sexual abuse.
What we said: Unspoken pain infuses every scene, every gesture and expression from Stephen Graham and in doing so lays the foundations to do justice to the suffering of victims everywhere. Read the full review
The Yorkshire Ripper Files
Liza Williams’s three-part documentary revisited one of the biggest – and longest – murder manhunts in British history, taking us back to a time so different it seemed almost foreign.
What we said: At its best, Williams’ series – with its mixture of archive footage and new interviews – is a social document. The hindsight it offers is not primarily about the mishandling of the investigation, but of the grim tone of the times. Read the full review
This Time With Alan Partridge
Appalling company ... This Time With Alan Partridge. Photograph: Colin Hutton/BBC/Baby Cow
The excruciating monkey tennis-pitcher went back to the BBC for a One Show-style magazine programme. Inevitably – and hilariously for viewers – it wasn’t the smoothest of returns.
What we said: We get the heroes we deserve, and as you finish writhing in agony and lie limp from laughter, hatred, panic, despair or in awe at the end of another half-hour in his appalling company, you can only reflect that if Brexit means Alan then the whole business just got more complicated still. Read the full review
Veep
A last hurrah for Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s mendacious yet incompetent vice-president, in a political satire that was perfectly attuned for these most buffoonish of times.
What we said: Louis-Dreyfus has won a record six Emmy awards for her role as Selina Meyer, and, frankly, it’s no wonder. She is magnificent, brittle and furiously amoral. In this seventh and final season of Veep, it appears to be getting out while it still has a hope in hell of making its fictional world look more comedic than the real one. Read the full review
When They See Us
Almost unbearably harrowing ... When They See Us. Photograph: Atsushi Nishijima/Netflix
Ava DuVernay’s staggering miniseries about the Central Park Five showed how a group of young boys came to be falsely convicted for raping a young white woman in 1989. It is unbearably harrowing to watch the boys, as young as 13, get violently coerced by police into giving confessions.
What we said: The performances are uniformly astonishing – especially from the central five, Asante Blackk, Caleel Harris, Ethan Herisse, Marquis Rodriguez and Jharrel Jerome, most of whom are just a few years older than the teens they are playing. They capture the innocence, in all senses, of children, and the permanence of its loss. It feels like a great privilege to see them. Read the full review
Years and Years
Russell T Davies’s hugely ambitious drama followed a family through the next 15 years of British life, taking in the migrant crisis, terrifying technological innovations and Trump’s increasingly fraught face-off with China.
What we said: For a series that compresses 15 years into six hours, it seems to pass in the blink of an eye thanks to Russell T Davies’s trademark humour, compassion and the kinetic energy with which he infuses every project. We do not deserve Davies, but thank God he’s here. Read the full review
100 Vaginas
Following her projects about breasts and penises, artist Laura Dodsworth photographed a range of women’s vulvas, then showed the sitters their vaginal portraits and interviewed them for their responses. The result? Intimate, empowering television, unlike anything that has ever aired before.
What we said: A gently but relentlessly radical documentary. It’s not until you see a full set of female genitals filling your screen that you realise how little you see anything of or about them in wider culture. Read the full review
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/jun/03/best-tv-of-2019-so-far
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Courtside Sixers Seats Are Philly’s Hottest Status Symbol
Sports
These days, if you’re not on the floor for the Joel and Ben show, you’re nobody.
Just look at who you could be sitting next to with courtside Sixers tickets. Illustration by Britt Spencer
It was just minutes before tip-off, and the vibe was electric. For a good hour prior to the start time of this nationally televised Sunday-afternoon game, fans, throngs of media, and seemingly every employee of both teams and the arena had gravitated courtside for a chance to see, yes, LeBron James, one of the biggest names in this or any sport. But there was more buzz for the opposing team’s collection of charismatic young stars, including the power forward acquired days earlier in a trade-deadline shocker that triggered a seismic shift in the NBA’s balance of power.
Now, with warm-ups over, the capacity crowd was about to learn which high-profile fan had been chosen to walk onto the court and, as has become custom here, pronounce the start of the proceedings. Scattered around the courtside seats were a couple of supermodels and their entourages, a franchise quarterback and one of his favorite targets, a pair of NBA icons, a retired hip-hopper swirling in comeback rumors, a nationally controversial pundit, the owner of a storied sports team, the local soccer franchise’s just-inked Mexican star, the consensus best player in Major League Baseball, and a big-deal trial lawyer with his trademark suit and slicked-back hair.
None of them got the nod, though. The celeb deemed worthy of this most high-profile moment was a polarizing Hollywood figure, among the team’s most recognizable boosters, one known to give refs an earful when they blow a call.
If you’re thinking Spike Lee at the Garden or Nicholson at the Staples Center, well, sorry. The super-fan chosen to “Ring the Bell” at South Philly’s Wells Fargo Center for this showdown between the flailing, LeBron-led Lakers and the ascendant 76ers was Mr. I-See-Dead-People himself, M. Night Shyamalan. And to the delight of Kendall Jenner, Anne De Paula, Carson Wentz, Alshon Jeffery, Allen Iverson, Magic Johnson, Lil Uzi Vert, Marc Lamont Hill, Robert Kraft (pre-prostitution charges), Marco Fabian, Mike Trout and Thomas Kline, Esq., along with the rest of the capacity crowd, Night rang the bell and rang it good. Game on.
Those on hand were treated to one of the most exciting Sixers games in a 16-month span full of them — the second contest featuring new stretch four Tobias Harris alongside J.J. Redick, Jimmy Butler, Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. When the final horn blew on the Sixers’ 143-120 shellacking of LeBron’s reeling squad, it seemed to signal not just this team’s elevation to beast mode, but a changing of the guard.
It was the sort of statement game — just months after spurning the city as a free agent, LeBron comes to town and gets spanked — that will go down in the annals of Philly sport. It’s a game that a few years from now, everyone you meet will claim to have been at. Think the Birds’ 38-7 romp over the Vikings in the 2017 Conference Championship. Or Phillies closer Brad Lidge firing a slider past Eric Hinske at Citizens Bank Park in 2008. Or Bobby Clarke’s Broad Street Bullies bloodying the Russian Red Army team at the Spectrum in 1976.
But for a handful of the city’s cultural and power elite, the proof will be in the replays. Their faces are in the background of every timeout, every fast break, every dunk. This visibility is why sitting courtside at the Sixers has become the ultimate status symbol, and why the VIP scene there has become the city’s most elite networking spot.
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If you got hit by a SEPTA bus sometime between Allen Iverson’s farewell in 2006 and Joel Embiid’s debut in 2016 and are just now waking up from your coma, the above scenario sounds like pure fantasy. During the later years of the Iverson era, with the team already in decline, Sixers attendance was buoyed solely by, as aforementioned author, pundit and Temple prof Marc Lamont Hill puts it, the “cult of personality around Allen Iverson.” After A.I.? “It was a ghost town in there,” recalls Hill, who’s had season tickets on the south floor near the Sixers basket for going on a decade. “There was hardly anybody of note on the floor. The only time celebrities came to the game would be if the opposing team was really good.”
After floundering for several seasons, the Sixers in 2013 — backed by a new ownership group led by Josh Harris and David Blitzer and including minority partners such as e-commerce billionaire Michael Rubin and the Smiths, Will and Jada — embarked on then-GM Sam Hinkie’s controversial tanking strategy now lovingly referred to as “The Process.” After three seasons of rote, agonizing ineptitude, The Process ultimately yielded the core of the Sixers’ current squad — Embiid and Simmons — bolstered since by an ever-improving supporting cast. The result: a team that is certifiably good, and certifiably hot. “Now, we could be playing the worst team in the NBA and it doesn’t matter,” boasts Hill, “because we’re the draw.”
Elevated play has caused a surge in demand to get close to the action. And that lure is further perpetuated by the who’s-who list of Philly movers and shakers already entrenched courtside. Among the local luminaries you may spy sitting on the floor: high-powered, silver-haired alpha attorney Kline (20 seasons) and fellow litigator Leonard Hill; Shyamalan and his wife, Bhavna Vaswani (three years); and venture capitalist Richard Vague (like Hill, he’s had seats for a decade). That clutch of power is camped between the scorer’s table and the opponent’s bench with co-owner Blitzer.
On the other side of the scorer’s table, by the Sixers’ bench, you’ll usually find supermodel Kendall Jenner, a.k.a. Ben Simmons’s gal pal; Harris; and real estate magnates David Adelman and Alan Horwitz (who, thanks to his “Sixth Man” jersey, wild white hair, and demonstrative pleading is known to Sixers Twitter as “Old Man Knees”). Across the court, you can find Iverson, Rubin, and the latter’s various guests, ranging from hip-hoppers (Meek Mill, Lil Uzi Vert) to business magnates (Kraft) to celebs and athletes (Kevin Hart, Wentz, Malcolm Jenkins).
It should come as no surprise that a team with the foresight to execute The Process — a gambit reliant on securing on-court celebrity athletes — was also intentional in fostering a culture of stars and influencers in the stands. “We like to joke that it’s been a six-year overnight success,” team president Chris Heck says before tip-off. He’s in the Patriot Partner Lounge, the luxe, invite-only VIP hang the team carved out of the bowels of the Wells Fargo Center. Heck credits celebs like Shyamalan and Meek Mill (and then-companion Nicki Minaj) with raising the courtside profile.
“We call it ‘Circle of Stars,’” Katie O’Reilly, the Sixers’ chief marketing officer, says of the team’s influencers program. “Our managing partners understand the importance of bringing these guys in and having them as part of our family.”
That means inviting Michael B. Jordan, Chadwick Boseman and Bryan Cranston to the Center when they’re in town. It also means making regulars of our other teams’ stars. “I see Alshon more than I see my family,” laughs Heck. “Half the Eagles are season-ticket holders.” And it means catering to power-broker super-fans — bold names more likely to show up in the Wall Street Journal than on a marquee. “Josh Harris and David Blitzer and that crowd, they’ve done a superb job of making sure that the service is excellent” for VIPs, says Vague, the venture capitalist who’s recently made news as a possible dark-horse presidential candidate. “That’s been true through The Process years. If anything, perhaps even more so early on.”
More than any other pro sport, basketball offers proximity to the action. It’s this access that draws the rich, powerful and aspiring. At breaks during the Lakers game, for instance, fellow court-siders sauntered up to Wentz for a handshake and perhaps to offer a bit of unsolicited career advice.
Peter Markowitz, owner of South Jersey’s Posh Automotive Group and a first-year season-ticket holder with seats in the fourth row on the floor behind the basket, recalls one game where “we were randomly asked if we wanted to meet Allen Iverson. They took us upstairs, and we sat and talked to Allen Iverson for 10 minutes.”
Diehards may be chagrined to learn that Markowitz is no Philly sports lifer. “It was a social decision,” the 37-year-old entrepreneur says of his season-ticket plunge. “I’m getting older, and everybody’s getting busier with work and families. I go to all of the games with one of my best friends. We’re not even that into sports, but we have a new appreciation from being there and learning. And we’ve made really good connections for work and pleasure.”
Just off the court, the Corona Extra Beach House has become a networking hot spot. “At halftime, all those people who are sitting around the court, they all go into that room,” says Markowitz. “It’s a nice break, and rather than seeing people you know and passing them by, you get to spend a couple of minutes talking to them.”
For Ric Harris, president of NBC 10/ Telemundo 62, the seats the station gets as a Sixers media partner have proven a superb way to entertain clients.
The networking aspect can grate on basketball junkies like Marc Lamont Hill, but he understands the significance. “You see a lot of empty seats after halftime,” Hill says of the exodus to the VIP bars. “You’ll see people in fancy suits with really nice watches talking about development plans and client services. As a businessperson, I get it — it’s a part of the energy there now. It’s about being at the game and showing people that you can be at the game. That is a super status symbol. Having dope seats to the Sixers is another sign of social and cultural capital. And that’s pretty neat.”
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Sixers seats have been hot before. But unlike in Iverson’s heyday, when 100 percent of the draw was the otherworldly talent of a sullen, tattooed anti-hero, something about this model feels different. Certainly, part of it is that 18 years on from the Sixers’ last championship run, Philly is a very different city.
The idea of a “New Philadelphia” — one of eds, meds and tech, one that’s solving brain drain and in the midst of a renaissance — comes up often when Heck and O’Reilly discuss marketing strategy. But this is also a very different Sixers franchise, one more in touch with the broader cultural significance of the NBA.
One of the less ballyhooed benefits of The Process is that it essentially allowed the organization to reboot. With expectations nonexistent and a fan base comprising only the most hard-core adherents of the team’s rebuild, the Sixers were free to essentially operate as a start-up. The clean slate, thus, was an opportunity to reimagine.
“So much of our strategy was, ‘Let’s bring back the history of this brand,’” chief marketing officer O’Reilly says of how the team’s planners picked and chose elements of the franchise’s past. “Let’s create traditions and bring back that legacy.” The Sixers’ iconography throughout The Process has played on nostalgia, harking back to the glory days of Wilt and Dr. J. But other touches, from the “Together We Build” slogan to the Franklinian Join-or-Die messaging to the ceremonial ringing of a miniature Liberty Bell, were, in retrospect, ingenious, positioning the team as a public trust and recalling the city’s Revolution-era glory.
This idea of common purpose is espoused by one of the team’s most high-profile courtside fans, Tom Kline (of Kline & Specter and Drexel’s Thomas R. Kline School of Law). “Caring about a professional franchise has at its core caring about the city and caring about what happens to us collectively as a community,” says Kline. “Communities have leaders, and you expect leaders to be visible — so now we’re seeing the kind of people you’d expect to be drawn to the flame.”
Kline has been a season-ticket holder for 20 seasons, occupying what he calls “the best seat in basketball” — next to the visitors’ bench (where he can see opposing coaches draw up plays) — since these seats were first made available in 2006. “Of course, we’re on camera more than the rest of the floor seats because the cameras chase toward the benches,” Kline says almost matter-of-factly. “That’s not why I’m there, but I have represented people as a result.”
Vague, Shyamalan and Kline all profess that they’re in it for the love of the game, though as folks who were driven to the acme of their respective fields, they must be at least a little tickled by the TV exposure (and this season, the Sixers will appear on national television some 39 times). Still, something about all of this seems more substantial, more real, than the glitzy Lakers Showtime scene of the 1980s.
While this iteration of the Sixers appears set up for a run of sustained success, no professional sports team is immune to peaks and valleys. But in this moment, when Philly and its teams all seem ascendant, the Sixers have packaged that energy into something transcendent. They have built a scene — of workaday fans and power brokers and A-listers — around more than a winning team. They’ve built this scene around a belief that by bottoming out and then sticking to a plan, you can reach the stars.
It’s a story that strikes a certain chord in the soul of this city for reasons obvious to anyone old enough to remember, say, the 1980s. The courtside celebrities may ebb with the team’s fortunes. But this moment, when the city’s powerful and powerless clamor for seats to see success we all feel we made possible, may represent not just a team fulfilling its unlikely destiny, but a city doing so as well. Why are courtside seats in such demand? Yeah, it’s about Ben and Joel being the best they can be. But it’s also about us.
Published as “The In Crowd” in the April 2019 issue of Philadelphia magazine.
Source: https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/03/30/courtside-sixers-tickets-wells-fargo-center/
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2018 NFL Preview: Browns try something new, actually invest in a quarterback
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Yahoo Sports is previewing all 32 teams as we get ready for the NFL season, counting down the teams one per weekday in reverse order of our initial 2018 power rankings. No. 1 will be revealed on Aug. 1, the day before the Hall of Fame Game kicks off the preseason.
(Yahoo Sports graphic by Amber Matsumoto)
At the NFL scouting combine, long before Baker Mayfield knew he’d be the Cleveland Browns’ top overall pick — a few weeks before the Browns themselves knew — Mayfield took on the challenge that will define his career.
“If anybody is going to turn that franchise around it would be me,” Mayfield said.
Good luck, Baker. He landed on a team that is 2-41 since Oct. 11, 2015 and has fielded so many terrible quarterbacks, it’s a running NFL joke.
However, there’s reason to believe this time is different. Mayfield is unlike any other quarterback the Browns have acquired this century.
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The Browns’ never-ending run of quarterback play is nearly impossible in the modern NFL. Aside from Derek Anderson’s 2007 season (3,787 yards, 29 touchdowns), the Browns haven’t had a quarterback reach 3,400 yards or 19 touchdowns in a season since their NFL re-entry in 1999. Over the past two NFL seasons, there were 35 instances of a quarterback hitting 3,400 yards and 19 touchdowns. The strange part about the Browns’ quarterback ineptitude is they never truly invested in the position.
Mayfield is the first quarterback the Browns have drafted higher than No. 22 overall since Tim Couch, the franchise’s first pick in 1999. Since then there were desperate mid-round picks (Charlie Frye! Colt McCoy!), later first-round picks (Johnny Manziel, Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden all went 22nd overall) or discount free-agent pickups like Robert Griffin III who predictably fell flat. Despite almost two decades of failure at quarterback, the Browns never paid up to fix it.
The ROI for quarterbacks in the draft drops quickly. Waiting to pick a quarterback until the late first round is little more than a hopeful dart throw, and mid-round picks are often wastes. It’s rare to hit the Russell Wilson/Dak Prescott lottery. The Browns never seemed to understand that. With the Mayfield pick, they finally are paying to get off the hamster wheel.
For all the bloviating about the inaccurate nature of the NFL drafts, No. 1 overall picks at quarterback during the Super Bowl era almost always become solid players:
1970: Terry Bradshaw, Hall of Fame
1971: Jim Plunkett, two-time Super Bowl champ
1975: Steve Bartkowski, two-time Pro Bowler
1983: John Elway, Hall of Fame
1987: Vinny Testaverde, two-time Pro Bowler
1989: Troy Aikman, Hall of Fame
1990: Jeff George, bust
1993: Drew Bledsoe, four-time Pro Bowler
1998: Peyton Manning, future Hall of Fame
1999: Tim Couch, struggled with expansion team
2001: Mike Vick, four-time Pro Bowler
2002: David Carr, struggled with expansion team
2003: Carson Palmer, three-time Pro Bowler
2004: Eli Manning, two-time Super Bowl champ
2005: Alex Smith, three-time Pro Bowler
2007: JaMarcus Russell, bust
2009: Matthew Stafford, one Pro Bowl
2010: Sam Bradford, bust
2011: Cam Newton, three-time Pro Bowler
2012: Andrew Luck, three-time Pro Bowler
2015: Jameis Winston, one Pro Bowl
2016: Jared Goff, one Pro Bowl
That’s a good list. Of the 22 quarterbacks taken No. 1 in the Super Bowl era, 16 made at least one Pro Bowl. Plunkett didn’t, but he helped the Raiders win two titles. Two of the bad picks were thrown to the wolves on expansion teams, so they should get a pass. That leaves Bradford (who has an injury excuse, and has had some good moments), George and Russell. And George ended up with 27,602 yards and 154 touchdowns (spoiler alert: I have nothing positive to say about Russell). If Mayfield ends up like all the other sorry Browns quarterbacks, it will be an upset. When you pay up for a quarterback, it usually works out to some extent.
Mayfield deserved to be No. 1. It would have been just like the Browns to ignore the analytics (the numbers mostly love Mayfield), get scared off by Mayfield’s height and take a lesser quarterback who fit the traditional mold of a No. 1 pick. But the Browns said they knew after a private workout on March 22 that Mayfield was the one.
“I personally knew when I walked away from the Norman, Oklahoma, workout,” Browns general manager John Dorsey said, according to the Akron Beacon Journal. “I just kept it to myself for a while. I kind of knew, but that was the moment that I said, ‘Maybe, you know, that’s the guy.’”
If Mayfield is The Guy in Cleveland – finally – what the Browns have put together elsewhere looks pretty good.
The defense wasn’t that bad last season. The offense was bad, drowning in a barrage of turnovers from quarterback DeShone Kizer, who never improved as the year went on. But the Browns will have eight new offensive starters from the beginning of last season. Only the three interior line spots are the same. Tackle Joe Thomas retired, but the other seven changes should be considered upgrades. Eventually, when teams spend a ton of money on free agents and keep picking high in the draft, it should all come together. Ask the Jacksonville Jaguars.
There are questions if Hue Jackson is the right coach. He won a power struggle with fired general manager Sashi Brown, but he did a putrid job last season. The Browns weren’t good last season, but they weren’t 0-16 bad either. Jackson needs to quickly prove the Browns aren’t wasting another season with him screwing up some intriguing talent.
All those talented young players – Myles Garrett, Jamie Collins, Jarvis Landry, Kevin Zeitler, David Njoku, Jabrill Peppers, Emmanuel Ogbah, Josh Gordon, Carlos Hyde, Nick Chubb, No. 4 overall pick Denzel Ward (seriously, the Browns have collected some difference makers) – probably won’t matter if Mayfield doesn’t pan out to some extent. Jackson insists Tyrod Taylor is the starter indefinitely this season, and it’s understandable that a coach on a 17-game losing streak hopes a veteran can win a game before the rookie takes his lumps. But the moment the Browns used the first pick on Mayfield, it became his team. Unless Taylor pulls a Case Keenum and has a great year with a better cast (that’s really strange to say in relation to Cleveland), the Browns will have to answer a lot of questions about why Mayfield can’t win the job.
The Browns have to step out of the quicksand at some point, at the quarterback position and as a franchise. Jackson’s record as Browns coach is 1-31, but it goes deeper than that. Since an overtime win at the Baltimore Ravens on Oct. 11, 2015, they have lost 41 of 43 games. Everyone is supposed to be able to turn things around quickly in the NFL. The Browns are the only team that can’t do it.
Mayfield says he’s the catalyst for a long-awaited turnaround. Cleveland prays he’s right.
Baker Mayfield went No. 1 overall, the first time the Browns have used a top-20 pick on a quarterback since Tim Couch. (AP)
When you have more than $100 million in salary-cap space and a stockpile of draft picks, you’ll add a ton of volume. A trio of trades brought on defensive back Damarious Randall, quarterback Tyrod Taylor and receiver Jarvis Landry. Among the probable starters added in free agency were running back Carlos Hyde, offensive tackle Chris Hubbard, cornerback E.J. Gaines and slot cornerback Travis Carrie. Despite misguided criticism, Mayfield was the right pick at No. 1 and cornerback Denzel Ward was a fine pick at No. 4. Nick Chubb could unseat Hyde and be a very good back out of the second round. We can’t ignore that the Browns lost future Hall-of-Fame tackle Joe Thomas to retirement, but they added a lot. GRADE: A-
While the offense flailed around, the defense showed signs of life. Defensive end Myles Garrett battled injuries but still showed flashes of being a star. Safety Jabrill Peppers played a million miles away from the line of scrimmage most of last season, but defensive coordinator Gregg Williams felt he had no better option at free safety. If Damarious Randall can play free safety, Peppers can finally make an impact in the box. Denzel Ward should calm down a terrible cornerback situation, and free agents E.J. Gaines and T.J. Carrie will help too. Emmanuel Ogbah and Jamie Collins are disruptive players in the front seven. The defense will keep the Browns in games.
It’s Hue Jackson. I was all for hiring him, and keeping him around after his 1-15 first season with a stripped-down roster. But time and time again last season, it looked like Jackson was in over his head. A debacle at the end of the first half against the Detroit Lions last season summed up how bad the Browns have been coached. Cleveland had 15 seconds left at Detroit’s 2-yard line, ran a quarterback sneak (really, that happened) and ran out of time before the end of the half. It was an amazing sequence of incompetence, even for the Browns. Jackson has had two years, and there’s not one positive thing to say. DeShone Kizer was mismanaged and never progressed last season (Kizer was traded to the Green Bay Packers, and he had to feel like he was given a life raft). When you look at the similarly talent-poor 2017 rosters of the New York Jets and Browns, and realize that Todd Bowles lifted a shaky Jets team to five wins while Jackson couldn’t manage one, you should have serious questions about Jackson. He has not done a passable job. Maybe giving up total offensive control to new coordinator Todd Haley will help. However, it’s surprising he survived for a third season.
Hue Jackson has said Tyrod Taylor will start and there is no competition with Baker Mayfield.
“Tyrod’s our starting quarterback. Baker’s our No. 1 pick,” Jackson said, according to Mary Kay Cabot of the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “He’s our quarterback of the future. I’ve said that since this happened. I don’t think that will change.”
That is a bit odd. Just because a coach says something to the media doesn’t make it a contract, but it seems Jackson is serious. It would go against recent history. Since 2007, when JaMarcus Russell didn’t start Week 1 because of a holdout, five of six No. 1 picks at quarterback started Week 1. Jared Goff was the exception, but the Rams had a terrible coaching staff (feel free to draw your own comparison to the 2018 Browns). The Browns traded an early third-round pick for Taylor — I don’t like trading a valuable pick for a short-term bridge quarterback, but whatever — and it seems like they want to get something out of their investment.
Myles Garrett didn’t disappoint as a rookie, at least when he was healthy. Garrett played 11 games and was fantastic. He had seven sacks and played the run well too. According to Pro Football Focus, Garrett had 37 total pressures and he graded out as their No. 12 edge defender. That’s great for a rookie who missed five games. It’s early but he looks like the type of star the Browns can build a defense around.
From Yahoo’s Brad Evans: “Josh Gordon’s fantasy potential is similar to his unknown number of abs: rock solid. Last year, off a two-year disappearance from professional football, he showcased world-class skills. Over five games, he enticed 26.4 percent of the target share, averaged a ridiculous 2.09 yards per route, 17.5 average depth of target (second among WRs) and chipped in 11.5 fantasy points per game. Extrapolate his 18-335-1 line over 16 games and he would’ve finished at 58-1072-4, nearly the same number of total fantasy points in .5 PPR as T.Y. Hilton. Again, that’s nothing to scoff at considering the forced vacation and his horrendous quarterback play. Keep in mind, he finished 86th among receivers in catchable targets percentage. DeShone Kizer, who would miss the Lake Erie from five yards out, overthrew him routinely.
“With mouths to feed, Gordon won’t repeat his massive target share form 2017, but less could lead to more. Tyrod Taylor and Baker Mayfield are enormous upgrades. Remember, Gordon tallied godlike numbers in 2013 with the likes of Jason Campbell, Brandon Weeden and Brian Hoyer under center. Keep stealing him at his average draft position of 43.8 (WR19).”
[Booms/Busts: Fantasy outlook on the Browns.]
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According to Pythagorean expectation, which uses points scored and allowed to figure what record a team should have had, and Football Outsiders’ expected wins, the Browns had a profile of a 3.3-win team. They won zero. No other team in the NFL was more than three wins off either Pythagorean expectation or FO’s expected wins. Not to keep harping on Hue Jackson, but the Browns should not have gone 0-16.
CAN THE BROWNS TRUST JOSH GORDON?
Gordon has earned all of the skepticism that comes his way. There hasn’t been any bad news about him in a long time, but it wouldn’t surprise anyone if he gets in trouble again. He showed late last season why the Browns kept the light on for him through multiple suspensions. In five games he had 335 yards, averaging 18.6 yards per catch. That’s with terrible quarterback play. He’s still just 27 years old. There’s no question that if he stays out of trouble, he can be a No. 1 receiver. But, caveat emptor.
Josh Gordon lookin yoked… pic.twitter.com/jUncF4V1sP
— Astros Insider (@AstrosNation713) June 8, 2018
When you look up and down the roster, you can talk yourself into a breakout. Maybe it’s just because we want the Browns to emerge as a fun story, but they have good players at just about every position group. If Tyrod Taylor or Baker Mayfield are competent at quarterback the Browns could hover around .500, though it’s still hard to believe a team that has lost 41 of 43 can compete for a playoff spot.
I’d hope a team with this much talent won’t go 0-16 or 1-15 again, but they shouldn’t have gone winless last season. This coaching staff has to do a better job. This process has to show progress.
“Let’s just be honest, this is where we are,” Jackson said this offseason. “We’re a 1-31 organization over the last two years. I think it’s time to win. I think our fans deserve to see something different. I think our organization deserves to do something different. I think our players should expect to be different and play different.”
You want to believe in something better for Cleveland. But would it shock you if they’re picking first overall again in 2019?
The Browns won’t end up as the worst team in the NFL. Their win total in Las Vegas is about 5.5, and they could go over that. Yet, they have to be No. 32 in our Power Rankings until they prove otherwise. Even a 6-10 season is a staggering improvement; it’s hard to improve by six wins in the NFL. I figure the Browns should break this miserable losing streak somewhat early, perhaps against the New York Jets on a Thursday night in Week 3. If they’re winless by Halloween, it’s impossible to imagine Hue Jackson will still be their coach. Let’s predict some progress with five or six wins – led by a nice Baker Mayfield rookie season – to give Browns fans hope that better days are coming. Being a playoff contender might be a couple years off, but that’s where Cleveland should be trending by season’s end.
– – – – – – –
Frank Schwab is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter!
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Can Eli Manning still be an NFL starting QB in 2020?
Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images
The demoted Giants quarterback will be 39 years old next year. Would he have anything left to give?
Barring disaster, Eli Manning’s time in New York will come to an end in January.
The two-time Super Bowl MVP made it only two weeks into his 16th NFL season before getting benched. The Giants’ 0-2 record — neither game has been particularly close or even interesting — forced hot-seat head coach Pat Shurmur to end the Manning era with a whimper. In his stead, rookie quarterback Daniel Jones will take the reins of an offense otherwise led by Saquon Barkley, Evan Engram, and a long list of talented receivers who are either currently hurt or suspended.
For the next 15 weeks, Manning will be a high-value backup for a team with few legitimate postseason aspirations. Then, once the book closes on the 2019 season, he’ll be a free agent. That leaves the four-time Pro Bowler with two options next spring. He can either retire after a long and rewarding career, or he can strike out in search for another contract and one more go-round in the NFL.
Will he want to come back for a 18th season? Should he?
Eli Manning still has a place in the league (just not for long)
Manning isn’t great at this stage in his career. With the exception of two absurd playoff runs, he may not have ever been traditionally great. He’s had 30+ touchdown passes only three times in his career — coincidentally, the same amount of times he’s led the league in interceptions thrown.
He’s no longer the guy you want to lead your team through a firefight, but even in his diminished state he can be enough of a caretaker to win with a talented roster. Forget about his two games for a Giants team whose leading wideouts are Bennie Fowler and Cody Latimer, or the fact he played for a coach who drew up a designed roll-out for a famously immobile 38-year-old on fourth down. Manning’s last four years have painted him as a risk-averse caretaker capable of doing enough to allow others around him to shine.
In the four years before 2019 — years in which he had above-average to great wideouts capable of creating space downfield — Manning’s catchable pass rate never dipped below 76 percent. 74 percent of his 2018 passes were deemed “on target” by Sports Information Systems, good for the ninth-best rate in the league. His 66 percent completion rate that fall was the highest of his career by nearly three full points. With the right personnel around him, a 37-year-old Manning was still delivering solid balls to proper targets downfield.
Does that mean your team should count on him to revive a moribund offense or fend off a hard-charging young quarterback for starting duties? Probably not! But in a league where Joe Flacco can be John Elway’s presumptive savior in Denver and players like Luke Falk, Kyle Allen, Trevor Siemian, Gardner Minshew, and Mason Rudolph have all been pegged for starting duties just three weeks into the season, I would struggle to believe that Manning can’t at least fill a “Miami Dolphin Jay Cutler” role in 2020. — Christian D’Andrea
That’s a wrap for Eli Manning’s days as a starter
The NFL is in the midst of a passing game renaissance with statistics and point totals soaring to new heights. Manning’s numbers haven’t seen a correlating rise, though.
In every season between 2008 and 2018, his passer rating finished between 80 and 94. His completion percentage, touchdowns, and interceptions haven’t seen much variance. If Manning’s play holds — a pretty big if considering he’ll be 39 in January — a reasonable expectation is that a team would get about 20-30 touchdowns, 10-15 interceptions, and a passer rating around 90.
Does any team want that?
Maybe those were top 10 numbers back in 2008, but not now. There were 24 starting quarterbacks who finished the 2018 season with a passer rating above 90. That’s who Manning is at this point: a well below-average quarterback.
So unless 39-year-old Manning has a hidden spring in his step that’ll cause a 2020 resurgence, what in the world is a team expecting to gain from starting him? The Jay Cutler stopgap for the Dolphins in 2017 proved exactly why that’s a waste of time. Miami finished 6-10, third place in the AFC East, and accomplished a whole lot of nothing, except perhaps set the stage for its world-class ineptitude in 2019 that will end with a top draft pick.
A team shouldn’t start Eli Manning in the year 2020, just like they shouldn’t start Cutler, Brett Favre, or Peyton Manning. You could do a lot worse than Eli as a backup, but it’d be more worthwhile to have a young quarterback to groom in that spot instead. — Adam Stites
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