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balkanradfem · 2 years

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Scary story about a river incident

This is going to be a scary and upsetting story, and talk about a male predator, so be warned if you’re not feeling up to these topics!

So the year is 2016, and I’ve just recently moved into the city, and discovered that if you walk very far into the fields outside, you will eventually reach a meeting place of two rivers, and witness gorgeous waterfalls. It took 40 minutes to walk there, so not a lot of people knew about this place or went there. Most of the times I would go, it was a private little field trip, and the water just before the waterfalls was incredibly deep and perfect for swimming.

I was there in the water one day in the late summer. It was getting late, but the sun was still reaching the last rays of light into the water, and I have found a neat little place on the other side of the river with sand, rocks and shells. I was having the time of my life diving under, finding pretty shells and rocks and stashing them for my treasured collection.

At some point, another person arrived to the river, from the same side as I did, but different access point. I wasn’t bothered by it, my things were hidden well, sometimes young people would come and play in the river, they usually never bothered me, so I disregarded this and kept playing with my shells.

I hadn’t realized it was a male person, and I haven’t realized that he took into the water and started swimming directly towards me, until he was already only a few feet away. He was old, but he was strong. He looked 60-ish, but his body was double my size. He was swimming fast. I was at that point, 26, but I looked younger. I had struggled to eat enough and I was underweight. I had nothing on this guy.

Before I could gather myself, he was reaching his arms around me; I was in a neat little corner with rocks behind me, and he was reaching one arm on the rock, and other around me, his goal was to trap me between the rocks and his body. I didn’t have more than a second to realize what’s going on, and guided by instinct, I dove underwater before he was able to trap me, and swam to the direction of my access point, at the other side of the river.

At that point I was practicing swimming, and I was fast, but he could probably outswim me. He hadn’t tried though. I think he was in a bit of a shock that I ran away so immediately, and he couldn’t see where I went because I kept underwater for as long as I could. When i was already halfway to the shore,my head visible, he yelled after me: “I WAS JUST TRYING TO ASK HOW THIS WATERFALL LOOKED BEFORE THE WAR!!!”

I was absolutely outraged he would, after sending me running with intense predatory behaviour, still try to play it off as ‘you’re rude for assuming, I was attempting to engage in polite conversation here’, so I screamed back: “I. WASN’T. ALIVE BACK THEN!”

That should make it clear I’m not falling for his blatant gaslighting and point out how insanely inappropriate he is, I thought. But the truth was, I was traumatized to the point where I didn’t feel safe ignoring someone yelling at me. I swam to my stuff, and at that point, he was still at the same place he attacked me, so I thought, okay, he knows now I don’t want him anywhere close and that he’s being inappropriate, he’s on the other side of the river, he can’t approach me fast, I should be safe. So I sat down. I was wrong. He saw me sit, and started swimming towards me.

I was, once again, appalled. But also scared. I grabbed my stuff and without pausing to dress, started running away. He again yelled after me in another attempt ‘MAYBE YOUR PARENTS KNOW’ and I shouted back running ‘THEN ASK THEM!!!’ as if it was not absolutely insane that I was being talked down to while running away from a predator.

It was then I realized how unsafe it was to be 40 minutes away from civilization, while alone with a predator, next to a river. I needed to get back to the city fast, where this guy wouldn’t be able to openly chase me without anyone seeing it. I ran thru a grassy field, feeling uncomfortable, but sure that this would completely save me, because he was still swimming, and I was sure I could run very fast, and there’s no way he would still try to go after me after I escaped him twice.

Then, the unthinkable happened. He got into his car and chased me with a vehicle.

I didn’t even notice he had a car on his access point. I had only realized it when the car lights appeared on the trail behind me. It was twilight, and the night was falling fast. I was uncomfortably visible on the grass field, and I ran as fast as I could, because, I knew after this field, there was a turn, and I’d be invisible for a bit, and the turn led around a corn field, and corn field was a place I could hide in.

I ran into the corn field absolutely terrified, made sure I was out of sight and hidden, crouched down so I would be completely invisible, and then stayed still. Waiting. His car lit the road, and I could see him going, he passed me, and he reached the middle of the field, and then, he stopped. He must have realized that he should have already ran into me, and since he didn’t, he knew I was behind him. I didn’t see if he got out of the car. I didn’t move. I knew if I made a sound, if he saw some corn move, I’d be located instantly. I crouched and waited.

I couldn’t tell you for how long that car was standing there. Probably 5-10 minutes. You can imagine it felt longer to a woman hiding in a corn field. But, I wasn’t found. And eventually, the car started moving again. It went away. I didn’t move. I stayed where I was, for I don’t remember how long. I needed to be sure. Once I peeked out to the road, I looked for any sign of light. It wasn’t there. I tentatively walked to the edge of the field, where I could see more of the road. Nothing. It was all empty. There was nobody there anymore. I was safe.

You’d imagine I went home that night feeling shaken, scared, anxious and upset, but you’d be wrong. I was beside myself with joy. This was my first time, ever, that I was chased by a violent man attempting to harm me, and got away! I was at that point, victimized by 20+ years of violence behind closed doors, and I would never, never manage to get away from it, regardless of running, because the predator was a family member, and convinced me that he had a claim on abusing me, but this? It was a predator in nature, and the nature was my turf, I knew how to get around there, and my instincts had served me so well, and I listened to them properly, and just because I was so quick to get away, the predator was stumped enough to not be able to catch me! I was then, sure that alone in the wild, I was untouchable, invincible, safe from any harm. Ah, to be young and fearless.

In retrospect, I’m now getting cold chills realizing how close I was form being a corpse in the river. The corn field was the only thing that saved me. if it had been any other time of the year, and the corn wasn’t as tall and as perfect of a hiding place, I’d have been painfully visible on those fields. I would have had to attempt to hide in the grass.

Of course, 26yo me came back to the waterfalls a week later, convinced it was a ‘one-time-predator-thing’ and luckily I never again ran into that guy, I did have another close call with another dude, but it was less scary, with less running involved. I still do visit the waterfalls but less often, as I found swimming places that are closer by. This was, by far, my most dangerous encounter with a predator, tho I had about 5 more happen thru my life, and successfully got away from them all. The danger of violence towards women in public is generally much more rare because m*n usually go for women they feel they have the claim to, and who can’t get away, like daughters, wives, cousins, sisters, mothers. That kind of abuse is almost certain to get them no consequences. If they go after a woman they don’t know, it is possible a male family member would come after them, for attacking what they believe is theirs, so it’s a bit more of a risky bet. Except, of course, if you’re 40 minutes away from a living soul and next to a river, then the rules change a bit.

My perspective was that because this was a stranger, I was free to run, where as in my family, running was sure to be punished with worse violence, and I was conditioned not to even attempt it. So even just running away, scary as it was, felt freeing for me. I didn’t have any pride left so jumping into ‘prey animal’ mode to protect myself from abuse was just, a situation that would come up sometimes. I didn’t yet think of it as a proof that I’m not living in a humane society, and that obviously I wasn’t equal to half of it, for they would always be a predatory threat to me.

It strikes me still how much this predator aimed at my socialization to stop me from running, trying to talk me out of my instincts, implying I was rude for assuming anything, trying to shame me for running, while he also blatantly chased me with his car. I hope this can serve as a sign to never try to be polite or allow innocent assumptions for a male whose actions make you uncomfortable or threatened. I’d have been better not to reply, as it only gave him incentive to try to talk more, but alas, one cannot be perfect.

If you’re all worried about me, just remember I will be okay with my nature adventures and everything else risky I do, once I live in separatist space, away and protected, wielding the nature barriers between me and the males, safe from all predatory harm.

#male violence #male predators #incident #story #storytime #let me know if you want to hear the other predator close call i had #its also about me using nature to protect myself lol #i still believe that nature is my turf #and that i'm so great at running away #because like to believe otherwise would not bring me joy #but i'm also scared shitless of my family so #i mean family is worse #definitely worse

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bthump · 23 days

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I don’t think the ending of lost children is saying that people like Jill should stay with their abusers or that it’s noble to suffer I think it’s just making the point that there isn’t a paradise where you will never suffer, as it seemed that Jill tried to leave with Guts as a form of escapism thinking her problems would disappear if she did, like rosine did with the sacrifice. Yeah it’s still not that great and it doesn’t reflect well on guts either when he could’ve just brought her to Godo and had him look after her or something. Though the narrative does frame it as though guts made the “right” choice, basically tough love and making her stronger or whatever. And there was the idea that the demons haunting him at nightfall would be too dangerous for her anyway.

Enh I'll admit that Jill's naivete is a detail that makes Jill's decision to stay work strictly on a character level. Sure, Jill is frightened off by ghosts and decides to stick with the devil she knows, I'll totally buy that.

But yeah like you go on to mention, the narrative framing it as the right choice is the real problem here for me. I doubt Miura intended to flat-out say that abused kids should just deal with it, but it's effectively what the narrative says consistently throughout the Lost Children arc, from putting the Peekaf 'you'll regret leaving home' story in the arc about child abuse to Rosine's regret and longing for home as she dies to Jill deciding it's best for her to stay with her abusive parents and just struggle and cry her way through it.

Also maybe worth noting that plot-wise Jill's decision doesn't actually fit the larger narrative of Berserk. This is probably accidental lol, due to being a serialized story, but think about it: she decides to stay with her family because it's dangerous elsewhere too. Well, what happens a year later when her village is leveled by dragons because Griffith genre shifted the story to high fantasy? It's a hell of a lot safer to be traveling with Guts than it is to be an ordinary villager during the Fantasia arc lol.

So yeah. ia that staying with her abusive family makes sense for Jill on a character level, but it's the way the themes of the Lost Children arc seem to support that decision that bothers me, and I don't think it really works on a plot level either, taking the later story into account.

Thanks for the ask!

#ask #anonymous #a #b #arc: c #character: jill #theme: abuse #i'd also argue that isidro traveling with guts weakens this too - sure he does get one lecture about how #leaving home isn't great but it hasn't come up again in the last like 200 chapters and he doesn't seem to regret running away #and he wasn't even running away from abuse as far as we know - just boredom #but you can also argue that isidro is more capable or braver than jill or w/e so i'm keeping this point in the tags lol

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