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#and that doesn’t mean the other series are bad
yoongiofmine · 2 days
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LY: Love You Better | JJK | Five
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Pair: Idol!Jungkook x Playmate!reader
Summary: Jungkook never wanted a playmate of his own before. While living a busy life, touring the world, being one of the top kpop idols alongside his Bangtan hyungs, he had everything he could possibly need. But now that responsibilities call and his brothers are starting to focus on their solo careers before eventually enlisting one by one, Jungkook feels lonely. Maybe hiring a companion to take care of his needs and fill in the empty space in his life isn’t such a bad idea anymore…
Chapter warnings: ………yes, smut again, don’t come for me. Dom Kook, competitive Kook. 
WC: 6.3K
[Membership]
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“Come on, Kook, do this with us!” Jimin pleaded, a drink away from draping himself over the maknae’s lap. 
“I’m not in the mood, hyung, I’m sorry.” the youngest shook his head, more than happy with just sitting where he was, on one of the red couches of the bar Hoseok decided to close down to have his birthday celebration at. 
“But we have a routine!” Taehyung insisted, shoulders down and slumped. 
“Yes, a routine that we don’t need. That we haven’t needed in years.” Jungkook pointed out, bringing the beer bottle to his lips for a sip. 
“Just because we don’t need it, doesn’t mean it’s not fun.” the second to youngest continued. 
Jungkook was never the most outgoing of his members. The idol much preferred small get togethers or dinners at one of the other guys’ homes. But Hoseok hyung, being as friendly as he was, and with his impending military leave happening soon, chose to hire a whole bar in the middle of Itaewon for his close friends and some family members to celebrate with him. 
It was closed enough that he knew none of the guests would post anything about tonight, everyone was enjoying good company and drinks, not worried about their phones. It was nice, really, and Jungkook knew he’d start relaxing after a few beers. 
But for now things still felt a little weird. 
Their group wasn’t complete, Jin hyung didn’t have enough military days to request a leave yet. Joon hyung was already lost somewhere with Soyoon, a singer Hoseok had introduced to him last june, at the Jack in The Box listening party, and Jungkook was pretty sure they were secretly hooking up. The fact that this would be the last birthday he’d celebrate with Hobi hyung was also sitting heavy in his chest. 
“Alright, you two, leave him alone.” speak of the devil, the birthday man was doing his rounds to be a good host, shooing Jimin and Taehyung away with a wave and a laugh. 
“But–” Jimin tried, being shushed by Hoseok. 
“Let him get a couple drinks in, I’m sure he’ll join you in your mischief in a minute.” Hoseok sat next to Jungkook on the yellow, stained, leather couch, hand resting on the younger man’s thigh. 
Jimin and Taehyung were huffing for all of two seconds before linking arms and laughing about anything they planned on doing next. If Jin hyung was there, they’d most likely rope him into their doings.
“How are you feeling tonight?” Hoseok asked him with a squeeze to his knee. 
“I’m great, hyung, this place is cool.” was his answer, which sounded a little airy as it was delivered on the mouth of the beer bottle. 
“Yeah, you look like you’re having the time of your life.” sarcasm laced the hyung’s words, but the laugh that accompanied it softened the blow. “I saved your ass right now, but you won’t be alone here all night.” 
“Where’s Yuna noona? I like you better when she’s around.” Jungkook poked, pout covering the end of the bottle to chug a sip. 
“Yah, I’m just looking out for you while I can!” the older man was laughing again, pointing with his head to the side where his playmate was. “She’s with Yoongi hyung over at the bar.”
Jungkook’s eyes scanned the place, taking in the atmosphere. He had never been to this particular bar before, as it was on the smaller side, so it would most likely be packed with tourists and locals if the hyung hadn’t closed it down for his party tonight. 
The first floor was for the bar, a makeshift dance floor and sitting areas, where the second half-floor apparently had some games like old school video game machines, pool tables and coin karaoke booths. 
The bar itself was near the door and, just like Hoseok said, Yoongi and Yuna were there. The hyung was sitting on a tall bench, legs parted so the woman could fit in between. Yuna was laughing at something Yoongi said, hand on his chest as she pushed him playfully; his pink gums were out as he smiled like a fool in love. 
It was a scene that brought a twist to Jungkook’s stomach, turning back to Hoseok, who was also watching the scene unfold. 
“Shouldn’t she be with you? It’s your birthday.” the maknae asked, slightly worried. 
“She’ll come home with me tonight, that’s what matters.” Hoseok shrugged, bringing his glass to his lips, eyes only leaving his girl and his best friend when he continued: “It’s important for them to get used to each other, so there’s no awkwardness when she starts to work for him.”
“Again, you’re okay with that?” 
“Have to be. She needs the money, and I’d rather she works for Yoongi than someone random.” the hyung sounded worried, no doubt having talked about his enlistment plans with Yuna. After working together for so many years, his absence was something she needed to be aware of. “It’s easy for idols to feel entitled when it comes to playmates, you know? Nolichingu is a good agency, but there are horror stories about places that let their workers get mistreated and abused if it meant bringing more money in.”
“Really?” Jungkook’s eyes were wide, as he never gave the playmate thing much thought before wanting to hire his own, lines forming between his brows as he wondered about your experiences. 
If you’ve been in that career for half a decade, you must’ve had as many bad experiences as good ones. 
“You’re a better man than I am, hyung.” the younger man admitted, eyes finding Yuna and Yoongi again. As the woman typed something on her phone, the hyung stared at her with stars in his eyes. Jungkook wondered if Hoseok could see it too. “If that was Yn–”
“You’re a jealous boy, Jungkookie. Always have been.” Hoseok shrugged, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m only telling you this because, like I said, I’m trying to look out for you. Yuna, Yn, any other playmate… They aren’t ours. They work with us, yeah, but don’t let yourself get carried away. They don’t belong to us.”
“I know that, hyung.” Jungkook grumbled, gaze dropping to focus on the green bottle between his fingers, tracing the bumpy patterns on the glass. 
“Good, then.” Hobi hyung didn’t sound all that convinced, but steered the conversation nonetheless. “I take it you’re getting along?”
“Y-you could say that.”
His stuttering only came out when Jungkook grew nervous, cursing himself for his own slip. The man sat beside him gasped and turned around to properly face him. 
“Ohhh, Jungkookieeee.” Hoseok mused, high pitched laugh and eyes wide. “You mean you two…? I wasn’t sure you’d ask for that part of the service, I’ll be honest.”
“I didn’t technically ask for it. It, uh, just happened.” Jungkook shrugged, downplaying it. His neck felt hot, and the smile on his lips was telling. 
If this was Taehyung or Jimin, they would have demanded the sordid details, but Hoseok was kind enough to only ask: “Was it nice?”
“We didn’t have sex yet.” he explained, voice low. “But we kissed. And stuff.”
“And stuff?”
He nodded. “It was nice, yeah, very nice.”
“So that’s why you weren’t interested in wingman-ing with Jimin and Tae?” 
Before he could agree with the hyung’s conclusion, heeled steps approached the two of them, making both men turn to see Yuna and– 
“Heeeey, you made it!” Hoseok was getting up as he saw you standing with his girl, a pretty smile on your glossed lips as you opened your arms to hug him. 
“Happy birthday, Hoseokie-oppa!” 
Jungkook had last seen you this morning, when he dropped you off at the building you lived at, no hopes of seeing you again before Monday morning. He had asked you if you were coming tonight, knowing being friends with Yuna and Hoseok would mean you were invited, but you told him there were things you and your roommate needed to do at your apartment, so you’d be unable to make it. 
You looked really good tonight, with a black mini-skirt with the tiniest red heart prints and a long sleeved, body fitting, black cashmere shirt with buttons at the front; the buttons of your top near your chest were fighting for dear life, sitting snug against your breasts. Layers of necklaces sat on your collarbones and that’s where he pretended to look when he got up to greet you. 
“Hi, Kook!” you hugged him next, your chunky boots making you a couple inches taller than he was used to. 
“Didn’t think you were coming.” he said quietly, breathing in your perfume; soft and floral. 
“Her roommate is an asshole sometimes.” Yuna explained before you could. 
You gave the group a half hearted nod of agreement as your arms unwrapped from Jungkook’s middle, moving to stand beside him. 
“You want a drink?” Jungkook was the one offering, but before he could keep you, Yuna held your hand and pulled you away. 
“You already have her five days of the week, aren’t you tired?” Yuna teased, but you whined a complaint at the underlined insult. “We need some gossip time, I’ll bring her to you in a second.” 
Jungkook couldn’t argue, nor defend himself as you were taken away towards the bar so you and your friend could talk. Him and Hoseok were still standing when the hyung patted him on the back. 
“You, my friend, got it bad.” 
“Excuse me, how can you say that after watching a five second interaction?” Jungkook pointed out with a frown, but he already felt more awake just from the simple fact that you were here. 
“You were sniffing her hair.” the man deadpanned and Jungkook felt his face flush. 
“So?” he chided, one hand inside his pockets to feign nonchalance. “I sniff your hair all the time.” 
“You have known me for twelve years.” 
“She smells good!” was his defense, a very poor one at that, but it’s what he had. 
Jungkook was particular about what kind of smells he liked, he’d always been that way. His mother used to joke that it was because of his big nose that he could smell things a lot more strongly than others. He had no idea if it was accurate, but strong scents made his nostrils burn. 
He never had that problem with you. Your body wash was mellow and the perfumes you liked to wear were always soft and floral, a little on the sweeter side, which seemed to match you. 
Besides, Jungkook wasn’t ready to admit to his hyung just how bad he had it for you. 
Now that Yuna was busy with you, Yoongi joined the two-person group of Hoseok and Jungkook near the yellow couch. Jungkook took his seat again, leaving his empty bottle at the small table in front of him, Hoseok on the other cushion and Yoongi on the armchair right beside it. Not too long after, Namjoon and Soyoon turned them into a five piece group, all of them ignoring how the lips of the newcomers were swollen and slightly red. 
Yoongi spoke of his tour and how he hoped all tickets sold out, going over the venues he'd perform at, wishing the rest of the members would come see him. Jimin definitely would. Hoseok wasn’t sure if he could. 
Soyoon mentioned her collab with Namjoon, who was staring at her mouth the whole time. The woman was sweet. Nerdy too, kinda bossy in a fun way; it was surprising that the hyung would go for someone like that. 
Conversation floated around him, but Jungkook’s eyes were trailed to the bar, where you and Yuna were talking animatedly about something he couldn’t hear. The maknae thought he saw slight annoyance on your features at some point, or something akin to disappointment. Yuna noticed it too, giving you a hug and ordering more shots of whatever you were having.
When both of you had full glasses of colorful drinks, you made your way to the group again, making Jungkook fix his posture a bit more. 
“Relax, kid.” Yoongi was the one to notice, muttering behind his whiskey glass. “Play it cool.” 
Jungkook nodded, back resting against the couch as he draped an arm around the back of it, knees parting in a hopefully-natural manspreading. He pretended not to notice you walk this way, laughing at whatever Hoseok was saying. 
Yuna was the first to reach the seats, taking perch on the arm of the couch beside Hoseok. 
“What did we miss?” Yuna asked, slight slur to her words, which made Hoseok smile fondly and wrap a protective arm around her hips. 
“Nothing much.” he replied, kissing her on the arm under the attentive eyes of Yoongi. 
That was a mess Jungkook didn’t plan on getting involved with, nor would he be able to as you sat by his side on the couch, tucked under his stretched arm, glossy eyes and lips around the plastic straw you were sipping from. 
“Hi.” you greeted again, knocking the air out of his lungs. “You look handsome.” 
“I was about to tell you the same thing.” his lips were pulled up at the sides as his head tilted downwards to study your face. He liked the shimmery makeup on your lids. 
“No one ever told me I’m handsome before.” you giggled, proud of yourself for that little joke. 
“I meant I was about to tell you I’m handsome.” Jungkook played along with a grin, any noise around the two of you getting muffled, as if you were in a bubble. “You’re just pretty.” 
You were laughing sweetly, pastel pink nails a contrast to your red drink and the black  sleeve of your shirt. Jungkook didn’t think he ever saw you in clothes with colors. Not that he minded, his own closet was filled with blacks, grays and the occasional white. It was just something he noticed.
“What are you drinking?” he carried on, watching you slip the straw from your mouth. 
“No idea what it’s called, but it’s strawberry.” you lifted the glass towards him in offering. “Wanna try?” 
Jungkook gave you a small nod, liking the way your eyes followed the movement of his lips as he drank from your straw, tasting your gloss along with the alcohol, feeling the sticky of it on his mouth. 
After the sip, the fingertips from the hand that was behind you on the back of the couch dragged on the side of your neck as he said:
“You like it sweet and gentle, don’t you, doll?” he meant the drink, which was too sweet and not strong enough for him, but Jungkook loved the way you squirmed next to him, a small puff of air leaving your lips. 
Your mouth parted for you to speak, but you were interrupted as your bubble was popped and Taehyung plopped down on the couch on your other side. Hoseok and Yuna were no longer there, but Jungkook would have no clue about when either of them moved. 
“Hey, Yn.” Taehyung smiled brightly and you had to sit a little more angled so you could look at him, which pressed your side to Jungkook’s. 
“What’s up?” you smiled back, sweet tilt to your voice as you greeted his friend. 
In the almost three weeks you had been working for Jungkook, Tae hyung and Jimin hyung made visits to the house to see you; either bringing take out or drinks to be shared. None of those times had Jungkook been embarrassed by his friends, but he was still warry, letting his arm drop down your back to rest around your waist. 
“Do you like being a playmate?” Taehyung asked; leave it to him to choose that topic to make conversation. 
“Yeah, of course, or I wouldn’t be doing it.” you giggled, most likely taken back by the question. “I think it’s fun. Allows me to travel around and meet cool people.” 
“Is that what you want to work with forever?” the hyung continued, just as Jungkook’s fingers lightly squeezed your sides. 
“Why, you have another job for me?” you laughed, still getting used to Tae’s slightly random ways. “I’m not really looking for a change in career for now.”
“For now?” Jungkook surprised even himself by the glimmer of hope he felt at the prospects of a future you didn’t work with this. 
Jungkook would never shame you for what you did, especially now that he knew what being a playmate really entailed. But he couldn’t help but think about the future… The future where your Playmate/Client relationship might blossom into something more. 
“Well, being a playmate doesn’t really give you longevity career wise. While we look young and pretty is all good, but when we get older… Well, let’s just say you don’t get as many clients picking you in the sea of younger girls.” you explained, looking between Jungkook and Taehyung. “I don’t have plans to stop now, but in the future I might have to do something else.”
“Maybe we can do a drama together in the future!” Taehyung offered, knowing you wanted to be an actress. “That would be fun. We could make a cute on-screen couple.” 
“I think it would be more fun to play a villain.” you added, and Jungkook didn’t want to delve in the relief that flooded him. “Maybe with a nice death at the end of the season…” 
You and Taehyung got lost in the subject, where the hyung told you about how fun filming his death scene in Hwarang was, you asked him questions about his experiences on the set and if he planned on doing anything like that again. 
There wasn’t much that Jungkook could say, as the most acting he’d done was during the filming of VCRs for BTS concerts. But he would still nod and smile whenever you looked back at him, never wanting to feel left out. But Jungkook was more than happy just to hold you like this, gently running his fingers up and down your sides, occasionally kissing your shoulder as if it was the norm. 
A loud yelp coming from the bar interrupted the conversation, Jimin almost slipping from the bench he was sitting at while talking to one of Hoseok’s friends. It made Taehyung laugh at the drunk hyung, but he took his leave with the explanation of ‘someone better keep an eye on him’. 
When it was just the two of you on the couch, everyone else moving around and mingling, you left your empty cup on the table nearby and turned to face Jungkook. Your face was a little flushed from the alcohol, eyes a little unfocused as you studied his face. 
“I like your freckle.” you decided, pointer finger touching the bottom of his lip. “And your face.” 
“I like your face, too.” he chuckled, wondering if maybe your drink was stronger than he thought, or just how many shots you had with Yuna. “Should we get you some water?” 
“Alcoholic water?” you giggled, resting your hand on his thigh, slightly higher than he expected, making him gulp. 
“Water water.” Jungkook told you, making you pout and frown. You shook your head, cute as can be. 
“That’s boring, Kook, this is supposed to be a party.” you pointed out to him, looking around yourself and settling your attention on the stairs on the other side of the room. “What’s upstairs?”
“Some games, I think.” he shrugged, smile growing as your eyes widened. “Wanna check it out?” 
“Will you come with?” you chirped and he nodded, as if it wasn’t intended that he would. 
Jungkook didn’t plan on leaving your side, unless you asked him to. It should be weird, how he already spent his days next to you. But the more he had of you, the more he wanted. It was addicting really, from your personality to the way you looked. It was almost too good to be true. 
You stood up first, offering your hand to Jungkook to take, and led the way on wobbly knees to the stairs. The two of you passed by a winking Jimin and a red eyed Namjoon, receiving a thumbs up from a dancing Hoseok. 
The idol let you walk up first, keeping a hand on your hip to keep you from tripping over your heavy boots. And if he had a nice view of your ass, then that was an unplanned perk. 
“Air hockey!” you squealed as you saw the game table, leaving Jungkook behind as you walked to it. “I used to love this, my brother and I would spend our allowance on the arcade by the mall when we were growing up.”
“Why did you stop growing?” Jungkook asked as he patted your head, making you laugh prettily. 
“Stop that, my whole family is short, okay?” you batted his hand away, not minding his joke. “Wanna play?”
“I only play for a prize.” his arms crossed at his chest as Jungkook rested the side of his hips against the air hockey table. 
“What do you want?” you mirrored him, but as your arms crossed, your shirt became a little tighter and your breasts were just so…
“I win, you lose a button.” his mouth was speaking before his brain could catch up. 
It made you laugh and look down at your chest. “If you want to see them, all you gotta do is ask.”
“I like to earn it.” Jungkook’s shoulders raised and fell, relieved you weren’t offended by his bluntness. 
“I can think of a way or two you can do that.” your arms uncrossed and you touched his chest with a small hand. 
“Yeah?”
“Start the game, Kook.” 
You suddenly sounded sober, which was bad for his competitiveness, but good for his morals. 
Each of you went to an end of the table and as you took the bright yellow pushers and sent one sliding towards Jungkook, the man pressed the button to make the machine light up and tiny puffs of air covered the surface. The red disk was released on Jungkook’s side of the table, which gave him higher chances of starting the game with a score. 
“Hey, Kook?” you called, making him look at you. He froze on the spot as your fingers popped a button on your shirt, letting him see more of your chest, the black lace of the top of your bra a contrast with your skin. “A head start for you.” 
“Jesus, doll–” 
Your smile was almost innocent as you bent down a little more, so you could better look at the table and move your pusher over it to block any of his movements, but it also meant Jungkook had the perfect view of the plump mounds inside your flimsy top. 
You weren’t playing fair and the two of you knew it, too, but you still batted your eyelashes at him, waiting prettily for him to make the first move. 
At least he could say he tried. 
But it was a game lost from the start. 
Not only were you annoyingly good at the game, with fast moves and even quicker blocks, nothing got past you. Unsure if it was his worst nightmare or sweetest dream, your breasts would jiggle and bounce with your movements, which meant Jungkook was too distracted to block any of your own attacks. 
You made one point after the other and when the score was 6x0, you allowed the disk to slip into your side of the table, giving him a pity point. At your seventh point –an ironic number, if he could say so himself–, the table announced your victory. 
While you squealed and celebrated, Jungkook rolled his eyes and huffed at his loss. 
Jungkook hated losing. 
“Why are you called the golden maknae again?” you teased, licking between your lips. 
“You didn’t play fair and you fucking know it.”  he grumbled, shaking his head and avoiding your eyes. 
His attitude made you laugh harder as you walked toward him. “Damn, you’re a really sore loser.” 
“And you’re an unfair player.” 
“You’re cute like this, you know?” you stated and Jungkook’s cheeks betrayed him as he felt the blush creeping up on him, not getting much better as you took his wrist. “Come. I want my prize.” 
Jungkook would give you anything you ever wanted, no matter how annoyed he was. Especially as you walked to the furthest side of the barely empty second floor, the sway of your hips and the round of your ass too enticing for the young man to ignore. 
He had been right before and there really was a coin noraebang up there, which is exactly where you were leading Jungkook to. You pulled the flimsy door open and allowed him to walk in first. 
The cabin was a little claustrophobic, but big enough so his head wouldn’t hit the ceiling and the two of you could stand inside without bumping into each other. The walls were dark blue, reflecting the colorful strobe lights that made the interior feel like a club. A default song was playing, something by an old kpop band his parents used to listen to, as the instructions on how to use the karaoke system were displayed on the LED TV. 
“I don’t have any coins on me.” Jungkook patted his pockets even if he knew he didn’t even carry cash on him. 
“That’s okay, we won’t be singing.” 
Jungkook let his back hit the wall behind him, legs parting slightly as he rested against it. The man was smirking softly as he held you by the hips and let you fall into him. 
“What are we doing, then?” one of his eyebrows arched, even if he could read it in your eyes, and in the way you licked your lips, just what you wanted. 
“You’re my prize.” 
You were standing between his legs, hands on his chest, sliding up to link at the back of his neck as you pulled him closer to you. Jungkook squeezed your hips encouragingly, pressing your body just a bit tighter against him. He let you be the one to press your lips together, mouths moving in slow drags against each other. 
He hadn’t kissed you again since that night in his kitchen, when he came in his pants from dry humping you –mostly because he didn’t know how to ask for it–. Even if you did grow closer and your touches grew more constant. It was obvious he missed your mouth, with how eager Jungkook was to deepen the kiss; bold hands dragging down until your short skirt turned into soft skin and his grip turned firm. You gasped against his mouth, allowing his tongue to lick into yours. 
One of your hands slipped into his long hair and you squeezed it between your fingers, the burning on his scalp making Jungkook kiss you harder. His tattooed hand started inching higher, under your skirt, slow enough that you could tell him to stop if you didn’t want his advances, but all you did was push your ass into his hand. 
Jungkook felt his heart on his throat and blood rushing south with each flick of your tongue, each smack of your lips and each pretty little sound you made. He found lace when he squeezed your ass cheek, making you moan into his lips and press your body harder into his. The pressure on his cock, which was already filling up rather quickly, made him hiss and break the sloppy kiss. 
“Aren’t you glad you lost the game?” you whispered against his mouth, but Jungkook couldn’t answer when you took his bottom lip between your teeth, letting the meaty pillow drag as you bit and pulled. 
“It feels like I won.” he finally answered, long fingers flexing on your ass. 
“For a boob-guy, you seem to like my ass a lot.” you giggled, hand leaving his hair to touch his chest, down to his abs, making him flex his muscles. 
“I like all of you.” he admitted easily, but his hand left your ass to hold your waist. Between kisses delivered to your mouth, he murmured: “You’re my perfect little doll.” 
“Your doll, huh?” 
You weren’t denying it, but Hoseok’s words stubbornly made it to the forefront of his drunk thoughts. ‘They aren’t ours. They don’t belong to us’. It made Jungkook swallow the bitter lump that was starting to form, self doubt trying to grow roots in his heart. Thankfully your lips touching his neck was plenty of distraction. 
You licked and nipped at his skin as his hands roamed your body freely. Jungkook could hear voices and yells outside the booth, Hoseok’s friends playing whatever game was available, but instead of making him nervous, the possibility of one of them walking in on you was exciting. 
He was breathing hard, head tilted back as you explored his neck with your mouth, eyes closed shut. The hand that was resting on his stomach started moving south again; lower and lower until you cupped his erection, humming in appreciation as you felt the size and weight of it. 
Jungkook’s hand stopped at the back of your neck, giving it a light squeeze as you palmed him, rubbing your small hand up and down his cock over his dark denim. 
“Doll.” Jungkook whispered with a whine. You kissed his chin and hummed questioningly. “You feel really good.” 
“I can tell.” there was a smile on your lips as you kissed the mole under his bottom one. 
“But I don’t wanna cum in my pants again…” 
Not only wasn’t it the most comfortable, there was no way he’d spend the rest of the night with his own drying cum in his pants. The probability of him making a mess and someone noticing it was also substantially high. 
“Who said you’re going to?” 
You answered him with a question, but it didn’t make a lot of sense; or at least his blood really was rushing so low on his body that his thoughts were a little sluggish. You dropping to your knees between his legs was clear enough, though. 
“Fuck–” he cursed under his breath, looking at you get eye level with his crotch, hand still rubbing his erection on top of his pants. 
“Is this okay?” you asked, fingers reaching for his button. 
“Yes.” Jungkook hissed, biting his lip to stop a louder moan from echoing in the small booth. 
You batted your lashes at him, quickly undoing his button and zipper and pulling his pants down to his knees. Your pretty eyes widened and your lips parted as you could see the bulge inside his black boxers; apparently you didn’t get a good look at him when you caught him jerking one off with the thoughts of you, as you were taken back by his size. 
Jungkook grew up with six other boys, and boys being boys, they talked, measured and compared. He knew he was well above average, long and also thick. The way you were looking at him, unmoving, as if wondering how you could make it fit, stroked his ego deliciously. 
“Go on, doll.” he encouraged, hips bucking into your hand. “Don’t get shy on me now.” 
“Not shy–” you pouted, fingers hooking on the elastic band of his underwear. “Just highly impressed.” 
His boxers met his pants around his legs and Jungkook’s cock bounced free, leveled with your mouth, making Jungkook dizzy and throbbing. You held him by the base, small hand sliding up and down slowly as you felt the veins and ridges on your palm and fingers that didn’t meet all the way around him, breath heavy as you licked your lips. 
“You’re really big.” you said, face inching closer. 
“Do you not like it?” Jungkook smirked from above you, how you felt about his cock was pretty evident. 
“I like it very much.” you still answered, lifting his cock so you could kiss the underside of it, making him hiss. 
Jungkook’s hands were on his sides, fingers twitching to hold you by the head and push his cock into your mouth. There was no way you didn’t feel it pulsing on your hand, the tip was leaking pre-cum as you kissed up and down his shaft as if you had all the time in the world. 
When you leg go of his cock, your hands rested on his muscular thighs and you looked up at him, mouth open and tongue out. You brought your parted mouth to his cock, letting his tip drag on the flat of your tongue, slight bobbing movements as your wet muscle caught the clear beads leaking from his tip. 
“Close your lips around it, baby.” Jungkook instructed with a horace voice, fingers caressing your pink cheeks as you did so. “Good girl. Now suck on it a little, hm?” 
Your mouth was full, so you didn’t answer him, wrapping your lips tight against his dick and sucking on the head. Your tongue swirling around it inside your mouth was making him sweat and curse obscenities, upper teeth sinking on his bottom lip. The tip of your tongue swiped and poked at his slit, making his hand slip to the back of your head to take hold of your hair. 
“Put some more into your mouth.” Jungkook asked, watching you slide lower, jaw relaxing to fit more of his cock. He loved how obedient you were. “That’s it… Fuck, let it touch the back of your throat–” 
It didn’t take much for him to feel the constriction of your mouth, the tightness of your throat as you pushed him deeper, just barely reaching the middle of his cock. You threatened to pull back, but his hand forced you down. When you looked up to his face, Jungkook searched your eyes for discomfort or uneasiness, but all he found was pleasure and want. 
He watched as you forced him a little deeper, the squeeze around his cock making him groan lowly. Tears rimmed your eyes when he let you pull back; spit connecting your lips to his tip. You spit the excess in your hand and used it to stroke him up and down and you got your breath back. 
“You’re hot like this.” you told him with a raspy voice that made you grimace. “Telling me what to do.” 
“That’s because you’re a doll that likes taking orders, aren’t you?” he teased, collecting your hair in a makeshift ponytail so it’d be out of your way and so that he could better see your face. “And you like being good. Will you be good for me?” 
“Yeah, I’ll be so good.” you whined, pressing your legs together, eyes fluttering as he tightened his grip on your hair. 
“Then open that pretty mouth for me.” he asked, and you did, swollen red lips parting instantly. With his free hand, Jungkook held his own cock and tugged it up, using the hold on your hair to bring you closer. You understood what he wanted, clearly, as you eagerly licked at his balls. “Be gentle, doll… Yeah, just like– oh, fuck.”
You took one of them into your mouth and suckled slowly and carefully while he stroked and pumped his cock, waves and wakes of pleasure washing over him. You mouthed and licked the other one and it was almost too much for Jungkook. 
“Let me have that dirty mouth.” Jungkook sighed, trying to collect himself, but it was almost impossible with the way you looked on your knees for him. 
“You can have anything you want.” 
If only you knew all he wanted to do to you, with you, you might not offer it to him so willingly. 
Jungkook let you take his cock in your hand and you immediately brought it into your warm and wet mouth, slurping and sucking as you were determined to make him reach his end. The idol held onto your hair but didn’t push or pull you, he let you please him however you wanted. 
While your small hand squeezed and stroked what you couldn’t fit into your mouth, your head bobbed with want and need. His tip would constantly hit the back of your throat and you’d swallow around him. Spit was licking from the corners of your lips as you picked up your pace according to the sounds and moans leaving Jungkook. 
You could read his face, notice the spasms of his body, his quickening breath. Jungkook’s balls were drawing up as his stomach tensed, there was a slight tremble to his legs, a little pressure on the back of your head. 
“Gonna cum, doll, fuck–” he admitted what you both already knew. 
It encouraged you to suck him harder, slurping sounds ricochetting on the walls. Your mouth felt so good around him, so tight and warm and messy. You looked like fucking sin; determined, eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Your mouth focused on his sensitive head as your hand tugged him up and down, flicking and twisting fast and hard. 
“Yeah, yeah, don’t stop– ahh, fuck–!” 
Jungkook forgot his surroundings when his lower abdomen clenched and he couldn’t hold back the inevitable no more, not even having the strength to warn you before his cock released thich ribbons of white. You were undeterred as you kept going, slower this time, taking all his load like the perfect good girl, swallowing each spurt, humming and moaning around him. 
You milked him of his last drop, pulling him out of your mouth to kitten lick around his tip to clean him up. When his head tilted forward, half lidded eyes focusing on you, you opened his mouth to let him see you swallowed everything down. 
“Such a good girl for me…” Jungkook cooed, letting go of your hair and caressing your red cheek. “Come up here.” 
You kissed the low of his stomach as you pulled his underwear up, carefully tucking him in, but he handled you to put you back on your feet to smack his lips against yours. You melted into him, arms around his neck as you allowed him to lick around your mouth, tasting himself. 
“I’ll take that water now–” you admitted with a small giggle, sore throat after all your hard work. 
“You can have anything you want.” 
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I think the reason my thoughts keep getting caught up in Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss is because on paper, both series seem like they would be perfectly catered to me personally.
“Animated musical comedy with Queer leads that explores redemption and critiques Christianity” is such a fun concept that could be really brilliant and can be explored in a lot of ways, but the execution of these shows have failed on every conceivable level.
It’s so much more frustrating and sad than if they just had a boring concepts, or even if they were just 100% bad all the time. But every now and then there are little heartfelt moments where things almost seem to click, but they never do.
Helluva Boss makes me especially sad, because I still stand by the first season being pretty solid with competent set ups that could have lead us to really interesting ideas and complex characters. But the writers seem so terrified at the idea of someone disliking their protagonists that our main characters never have to confront their flaws, never have to grow or change in meaningful ways, and never get the chance to be fully developed people.
The set-ups in the first season made it seem like the Spindlehorse writers had really matured, and were going to start having serious character development and complex topics. But the very first episode of the second season undid almost everything that season 1 set up and was working towards, and it’s just such a shame.
I think I just have a hard time letting it go because in the case of both shows, it ultimately seems like a lot of very talented animators, artists, composers, voice actors, and other creatives, are all coming together to make something that is narratively just extremely disappointing, and honestly incredibly immature.
It definitely doesn’t help that the writers seem to compare their writing and narrative to other shows like Bojack Horseman, that while not perfect, at least understand how to pace a show and how to write conflict and people in depth. Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are too afraid to go into that sort of depth, and so all we get from them is shallow story that likes to masquerade as having deeper meaning.
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sequinsmile-x · 2 days
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Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty Five
Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
-x-
Hi besties <3
As always, the love for this version of them means the entire world. Look, you're going to yell at me a little for this chapter and I deserve it...so please let me know what you think!
-x-
Words: 3.1k
A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily sighs as she rolls onto her back, her hand resting over her eyes as she tries to will herself to fall asleep. She turns her head and looks at the baby monitor and she reaches out to activate the video, smiling sadly when she sees Lily fast asleep. She strokes her finger over the slightly grainy image, no small amount of guilt simmering in her gut as she idly wishes Lily would wake up so she could go and get her from the nursery and snuggle with her. The room had never felt so empty now Lily was sleeping in her room and Aaron was thousands of miles away, the air painfully quiet without her husband’s breathing and the surprisingly loud way a baby slept. 
She felt lonely, something she hadn’t felt since her first kiss with Aaron, his love a constant companion of hers even in the moments they were apart, a warm blanket resting over her shoulders at all times. It feels distant now, as if he’d taken it with him to the other side of the world, packed it up alongside the linen clothes she’d bought him and half her heart, an ache in her chest that seemed ever-present since she’d last seen him over three weeks ago. 
They’d spoken on the phone once in that time, the satellite phone he had both unreliable and crude. They’d exchanged a few emails and she’s sure if the circumstances were different she’d find it romantic, as if they were lovers from another time, kept apart by circumstance but held together by the written word. It doesn’t stop the loneliness that would set in at night. She was used to sleeping without him sometimes because of the nature of his job, but this was different. The further away she got from having seen him the worse she was sleeping. The sheets didn’t smell like him anymore, they just smelt like her.
It makes her feel awful because she isn’t alone. Lily is with her every second she’s not at work, and Jack is with them for half a week at a time, but it’s not the same. She loves her children with every part of her, but she misses the company of her husband, his reassuring smile when Lily didn’t sleep through the night, or how he’d effortlessly make them all breakfast in the morning, the constant lingering scent of burnt toast in the kitchen now she was in charge nowhere to be found.  She misses him, her partner in everything. The way he would know something was wrong just by looking at her, the barriers she’d put in place as a kid non-existent to him, or how a hug from him seemed to fix whatever was wrong, his embrace the safest place she’d ever known. 
She’s about to turn over, to wrap her arms around his pillow and hope that somehow it’s enough to get her to sleep, and then the door is pushed open, Jack’s small frame peeking around it, his hair visibly a mess from the small amount of light filtering in from the hallway. 
“Emily?”
Her heart cracks at the shake in his voice, the obvious tears that she can hear, and she sits up, switching on the light on the nightstand as she does so. She sighs sadly when she sees him, sticky tear tracks painted down his face, his pjyamas rumbled from where he’d been sleeping. 
“Oh, sweet boy,” she says, “What’s wrong?” 
He sniffs and wipes his face, still standing in the doorway, “Bad dream.” 
“Want to tell me what happened?” She asks and he shakes his head fiercely, she smiles sympathetically and pulls the covers back, patting the mattress on Aaron’s side of the bed to encourage him over, “Want to come sit with me for a little while?” 
His response is to jump onto the bed, moving at a speed she’s sure should be impossible for someone of his size, and he’s by her side in seconds, curled up against her with his head on her chest, his hand tangled in the neckline of her t-shirt, “Did you have a bad dream too?”
She runs her hand up and down his back, shifting them so they are laying back down, under no allusion that the little boy was going back to his own bed that night, “No, sweetie, I didn’t.” 
He frowns as he tilts his head to look up at her, “Then why are you awake?” 
She pushes his hair from his forehead and the concerned look on his face, his eyebrows pinched together just like Aaron’s, makes her ache. Aaron always said that Jack looked like Haley, and whilst Emily saw that too all she could see lately was him in the little boy. His facial expressions. His unwavering kindness. His smile. It was almost as if she was seeking out little bits of her husband where she could, keeping them nearby so she could relish in them, both Jack and Lily looking more like him every day.
“I just couldn’t sleep,” she says, kissing his forehead, “But that’s okay.” 
He hums, “You were awake to give me a magic hug.”
She smiles and nods, resting her cheek on the top of his head, “I’ll always be here to do that Jack,” she says, smiling softly as he idly plays with her necklace, his tiny fingers tracing the pendant, a small disk with a lily engraved on it that Aaron had bought her. She thinks he’s fallen asleep, the room quiet again apart from his breathing, until he says her name.
“Emmy?” 
Her smile gets slightly wider at the use of the nickname, something he uses less and less these days, his voice already thick with sleep, “Yes Jack?”
“I miss Daddy.” 
She feels herself get tense, her eyes drifting closed as she blows out a breath, holding him impossibly closer, his small body getting heavier as he falls asleep. 
“Me too, baby,” she says, kissing the top of his head again, “Me too.” 
___
She curses herself for not putting her phone on silent as soon as it starts to ring. She winces to herself and quickly closes the nursery door, not wanting to undo any of the hard work she’d done trying to get her daughter to sleep. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and walks down the stairs as she answers, smiling softly to herself as she sees Penelope’s name on the screen. 
“Pen, hey is everything okay?” 
“I know what you need.” 
She has to stop herself from saying ‘my husband back’ out loud, well aware it would ruin her friend's good mood and she chuckles dryly as she walks towards the living room, “What do I need?” 
“A night out.” 
She chuckles again as she sits down on the couch, shaking her head even though her friend can’t see her, “You’d better not mean tonight.” 
Penelope sighs and Emily can almost picture the look on her face, “JJ and I got talking about it as we were leaving the office, and it’s been a long time-”
“Look, Pen I appreciate the offer,” she says, cutting her friend off before she can carry on, irritation she knows Penelope doesn’t entirely deserve sparking in her gut, “But I have Lily. Remember her? The tiny version of me? You’ve bought her enough tutus I think I could open a ballet school.” 
Emily is sure she can hear JJ in the background. She was always the sensible one, the person who sat between Penelope’s exuberance and Emily’s occasional resistance to it, the middle ground that made their friendship work. She’d rejoined the team when Aaron went to Pakistan, Derek’s temporary promotion to Unit Chief leaving a gap in the team, and despite everything Emily was pleased that she was around more often again. There’s a muffled conversation she doesn’t hear, and she finds herself staring at her wedding picture, the photo Haley had taken for them that day almost a year ago, and she sighs, closing her eyes as her gaze drops to her lap. 
“Can’t someone watch her for a few hours?” 
She scoffs and shakes her head, the spark of irritation catching fire, her friend's well-intentioned meddling the gasoline she’d barely needed.
“Who, Pen? My husband, who is on the other side of the world? My father I don’t talk to? My mother who…” she drifts off and shakes her head, her lips pressed together as she just catches herself before she reveals more than she means to, her mother’s alcoholism something she’d never shared with anyone other than Aaron, “Just…you two have fun, okay? Maybe next time.” 
She hangs up before Penelope can say anything else, or before she herself could say something that would upset her friend. She groans and places her phone down on the couch, her hands over her eyes as she blows out a shaky breath. 
“Damn it,” she grumbles to herself, reaching for the remote to turn on the tv, the silence in the house almost suffocating, and eventually settling on a reality tv show she’d fallen in love with when she was nursing Lily. She walks around the house, doing small chores she’d put off for days, packing away Jack and Lily’s toys as she goes. 
She isn’t sure how much time has passed when she hears a gentle knock on the front door. She walks towards it, very much not in the mood for whoever is there, but grateful that they hadn’t rung the bell and risked waking up Lily. She blows out a steady breath when she looks through the peephole to find Penelope and JJ on her porch. She stands there for a moment, her head resting against the wood as she debates not answering the door at all. 
“We come in peace,” Penelope says, and Emily can’t help but laugh. She shakes her head and opens the door, her eyebrow raised as she looks at her friends. JJ is holding a take-out bag from their favourite Mexican restaurant, and Penelope has three plastic cups full of a frozen drink in a carrier in her hands, her smile mischievous as she lifts them slightly, “Did you know you can get margaritas to go if you hassle the wait staff enough?” 
She sighs and stands back a little, still not moving enough to let them in, “Pen-”
“Look, I realise I went about this the wrong way,” she says, “I thought about it and-” she's cut off JJ clears her throat, her eyebrows raised as she throws Penelope an amused smile when they both look at her. Penelope rolls her eyes and looks back at Emily, “Fine, JJ told me off for getting too excited and not thinking everything through - and we brought girl's night to you.” 
She presses her lips together and swallows thicky, uncertainty still swirling through her. She twists her wedding rings around her finger and she shrugs half-heartedly, “I don’t know if I’m that much fun to be around at the moment.” 
Penelope frowns like that’s the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard, “Peaches, you’re our friend. We want to be around you all the time.” 
“And,” JJ says from behind Penelope, winking at Emily, “We brought churros.” 
She can’t help but smile and she shakes her head, sighing playfully as she steps back, finally giving them enough room to let them past her, “Fine,” she says, smiling wryly, “But next time lead with the churros.” 
They set up in the dining room, eating their dinner from the containers so she wouldn’t have to worry about dishes afterwards, and for a moment it feels normal. Emily can ignore that she hasn’t seen her husband in weeks, that she feels his absence like a physical ache. Instead, she laughs with her friends, all of her focus on the stories about the team that they fill her in on, both JJ and Penelope always happy to act as if nothing has changed. As if it was two years ago and they were asking her all sorts of questions about her relationship with Aaron that she refused to answer until she was several tequilas deep. 
She’s grateful for them, for the family she’d found in the most unlikely of places. The family she’d found right when she needed them the most. 
She’s about to suggest that they move to the living room when she hears Lily cry from upstairs and she smiles apologetically at them, “I’m going to go check on her,” she says, standing up, “I’ll meet you guys in the living room?” 
They both nod in response and she heads upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. When she makes it into Lily’s nursery the 10-month-old is standing up in her crib, supporting herself with her hands on the bars, and she’s crying loudly, her face bright red with it.
“Oh sweetheart,” Emily says, reaching into the crib and lifting her up, pressing a kiss to her dark hair as she settles her on her hip, “What’s wrong huh? I know you’re not hungry,” she says, pacing back and forth a little, sniffing the air slightly as well as patting the baby’s bottom to check it was dry, “And you don’t need a diaper change,” she tilts her head to look at her, smiling when Lily almost chases her embrace, her face pressed into her mother’s neck as she grips onto her tightly, “Oh, I see. You just wanted Mommy?” She kisses her cheek and smiles, her heart warming when Lily starts to calm down, her smile already breaking past her sadness now she has Emily’s attention, “Mommy’s friends are here, shall we go say hi?” 
She talks quietly to Lily as she heads back downstairs, humming along to the babbling that her little girl does almost all the time now, so close to actually speaking that Emily simply did her best to encourage it. She both wanted to hear her daughter’s voice and for Lily to wait until Aaron came home, the thought of him missing out on it almost too much for Emily to bear. She smiles as she joins her friends in the living room, bouncing Lily on her hip as she tries to get her to smile.
“We have another one for girl's night,” she says, her smile getting wider as her friends both gush over the baby, always acting like it had been forever since they’d seen her, like Emily didn’t almost constantly share photos of her with the team. 
“Hi Lily,” Penelope says, reaching out for her hand, smiling when Lily grabs two of her fingers, her grip tight, “You’re the youngest member of our little gang,” she says, raising her eyebrow at her friends as she sits back, taking a sip of her drink, “For now.”
Emily rolls her eyes and sits down, making sure Lily is secure on her lap, well aware that she’d likely fall asleep again soon, “My husband is currently on another continent, Pen,” she says, sounding more playful than she feels, “You’ll have to at least wait until he gets back before you start planning for me to have baby Hotchner number 3.” 
Undeterred, Penelope’s smile only gets wider, “But you are planning on having more?” She asks, her excitement clear, “Because JJ never gives me a straight answer on if she and Will are having another one and I need another BAU baby to spoil.” 
Emily catches JJ’s eye briefly, and she sees a flash of something. It’s a moment that passes by quickly and she decided to file it away for later, a conversation she wasn’t sure how to start right now. 
“Definitely,” she says, running her fingers through Lily’s hair, smiling when her little girl looks up at her, “Have you seen how cute she is? It would be a waste if we didn’t,” she smiles at Lily, “Would you like that, baby? If Mommy and Daddy made you a big sister one day?” She tickles the baby, drawing her sweet laugh out of her, ignoring how she can feel Penelope and JJ staring at her, fascinated by this side of her that they rarely got to see, “I know Dada would.” 
“Dada!” 
They all fall silent, and Emily briefly thinks she’s imagined it. Her smile slips off her face and she looks up at her friends, and thats all it takes for her to know they’ve heard it too. “Did she…” 
JJ moves closer, one of her hands on Emily’s shoulder, squeezing comfortingly as she leans over her and picks up the wedding picture from the side table. She puts it in Lily’s line of sight as she removes her hand from Emily’s shoulder to point at Aaron in the picture. 
“Who’s that Lily?” JJ asks, her voice soft and encouraging, “Is that Dada?”
“Dada!” Lily says again, grasping at the picture before JJ can move it out of reach, not wanting Lily to accidentally drop it and then hurt herself. 
“Good job, Lil’ Peaches!” Penelope says, her enthusiasm clear, her tone matching JJ’s.
Emily barely reacts, her eyes fixed on her daughter as the baby smiles widely at the encouragement, clapping her hands together as she mirrors JJ. She feels like she’s underwater, her eyes watering as she tries to live in the moment, to enjoy one of her daughter’s firsts, but it’s muted. The colour of it dulled by Aaron’s absence, and she takes a moment to grieve the way she’d imagined this. Both of them huddled together with their little girl, one full of glee that she’d said their name first and the other pretending they were upset when they were nothing less than proud of their baby girl.
She blows out a shaky breath and smiles, pulling herself out of it, forcing herself back into the present as she lifts Lily from her lap, peppering her face with kisses before she hugs her close, breathing in the scent of her. 
“Good job, baby,” she says, clearing her throat to ignore the shake to her voice, smiling gratefully at JJ when she places her hand on her knee without saying anything, the slight squeeze she gives to the joint saying everything it needed to, “Mommy is so proud of you,” she kisses the side of Lily’s head again, “Daddy is too.” 
She wondered how she’d tell him this, how she’d break the news that he’d missed something he’d so desperately wanted, and not for the first time since he’d left she regrets ever encouraging him to go. 
-x-
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cult-of-the-eye · 2 days
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inspired by @archivus' statements, i decided to give it a try myself
tw for depersonalisation, body image issues, body horror, slight gore
Out of Body Experience
Statement of Rebekah Fitch, regarding something that wasn’t her body. Original statement given 5th March 2018. Recording by [REDACTED], Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, Manchester. Committed to tape 26th March 2024. 
Statement begins. 
I never thought I would end up like this. I just-
I guess I should start from the start. 
Throughout my life, I’ve had a complicated relationship with my body. Not to get too, um, personal or anything, but let’s just say it's tough being the child of an immigrant mother, especially, well, my mother. She would make comments about my body, small ones, I’ll admit, but ones that certainly built up to…recent events. On top of all that, I spent a lot of my teen years dissociating. Tricking my brain into believing that I wasn’t real. That nothing was. It’s a bit difficult to solidify an image of your body when half of you is ashamed of it and the other half doesn’t even consider your ownership of one. Ownership. I guess that’s sort of where it all began. 
It was sometime in January when it all started to go wrong. I don’t exactly have a habit of staring at myself in the mirror, in fact, the only mirror I own in my cramped little flat is the bathroom one. It’s somehow always stained, a fact which I hesitate to admit helped me live with my…issues. The point is, the majority of the time, I didn’t know how I looked.
And then one day, I watched myself wake up. 
I remember exactly how it felt. You know how people sometimes slice oranges in half and then take the peel, dig their fingers into the sides and push, letting each segment split from the other, hungrily leaning up towards you? That’s how I felt. Inverted. Wrong. I saw myself in a way that I had never, ever seen before. Each and every part of me that bulged where it shouldn’t have, thinned and yellowed at the edges like a fruit in its off-season. Whatever was happening to my eyes didn’t hurt, exactly, but I could feel every single part of my body as if it had suddenly awoken from a deep unconsciousness. It disgusted me. The life of it all. I panicked, of course, I thought I was having a really, really bad dream and that all I needed to do was wake up. But, no matter how many times I attempted to shield myself from the view, no matter how many times I willed every single synapse in my brain to connect and let my goddamn eyes close, nothing happened. 
That nothing was the most excruciating nothing that I had ever experienced in my life. I was forced open, boneless and writhing. The me on the bed that I was watching slept soundly. 
I don’t remember when I snapped out of it. I don’t remember how long it had been. I sat up, drenched in sweat, determined to be rid of the one mirror I had left. Putting it in the bin didn’t feel as triumphant as I believed it would. I guess part of me knew that this was no one-off. 
Ok, I know what you’re thinking. It could just be a hallucination. I could be traumatised or mentally ill or on drugs. Well, I’m actually all of those things, which means that I have the unique ability to prove you wrong. I know what a hallucination feels like, I know what drug side effects feel like, and I know what my episodes feel like. And this? This was entirely separate. I don’t have to tell you that it happened again. I don’t have to tell you that I went from GP to GP, therapist to therapist to find out what was happening to me. But I will end this with proof. 
Statement Ends. 
Post-statement records include a medical report of one Rebekah Fitch. It outlines a series of scars of unidentified means on the underside of her eyelids, spelling out the phrase “I know that I exist.” Any attempts to follow up have led to dead ends. However, I’m afraid that I may be able to guess how this one ends.
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shuutingstar · 3 days
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I’ve been watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine recently and I had the idea of a detective/cop au with the sbg cast because it’d be funny.
Under the cut cuz I made it too long.
Basically, what I’m working with here is that Ashlyn’s either the sergeant or captain of the squad. I haven’t completely decided yet but I’m fine with either. Anyhow, Aiden’s kinda like Jake in B99 where he’s really smart and can solve a case no problem but has a tendency to joke around and not follow the rules entirely. He’s also really stubborn. I was thinking Tyler and Aiden could have the rivalry/bet that Amy and Jake had going on in s1 ‘cause it’d be funny to see them try and beat the other in most cases solved.
For Logan I was thinking he’d be the best on-field (cuz yk he’s good with a gun) and best shooter the precinct has. Taylor would be good at getting info from perps and she’d be an amazing “good cop” while Ashlyn would play “bad cop” or they could switch. I don’t think it matters. Ben would be real intimidating but he’s just a big softie. He’s like the nicest cop at the precinct and enjoys being a secondary rather than a primary (like he doesn’t want to take the lead role on cases a lotta the time cuz yk he can’t talk) but he’s still a very valuable person to the squad.
For whatever plot this au has I think it’d be cool to have it interlink with the phantoms and the phantom dimension in some way. Like maybe there are a series of murders where the killer maims/disfigures the victims’ bodies and the squad have to solve it, but it’s a difficult case because there are people trying to cover up the murders — like maybe the Cranes (or whatever their organisation is called) or something. Also, they could give the serial killer a name like “the phantom or smth” or you can still add the phantom dimension into the au if you want to but at its core this au is just about shits and giggles.
Like I want to see Aiden arrive at work and drink his third tea of the day — cuz he’s a tea guy — and I wanna see Ben sit at his desk and prolong his paper work because listening to music is so much better. I want to see Logan have tons of flowers at his desk because his grandparents were so happy he’d finally gotten the job he had worked for; Taylor fixing the printers everyday because Logan got kind of mad when the printer stops working. (He took a hammer and smashed it.) I wanna see Tyler come to work with more than one lunch bag because he decided to make the others lunch. I WANT TO SEE FLUFF. If you get what I mean.
I’d also like to clarify that im not trying to undermine anyone’s intelligence/skills in any way. They’re all skilled and perceptive and great detectives they just show it differently. Like Ben get intel by silently reading you whereas Tyler tries a more aggressive approach which contrasts with Taylor’s calculated questions and answers and Ashlyn’s perceptiveness to body language. Logan’s all about finding the facts first and building off of there, so he’s kind of in between everything when solving a case but the clue board is his go-to and Aiden just kinda fuck’s around and finds out.
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dindjarindiaries · 1 year
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Something that I think a lot of people have forgotten is just how groundbreaking The Mandalorian has been in many different respects.
It was the first live-action Star Wars series ever. It had a huge responsibility to set a good precedent. Not everyone remembers or was around for when it first premiered, and that’s okay, but fans had no idea what to expect. When that first episode premiered, the world was captivated—by Grogu, Din Djarin the nuanced bounty hunter with his helmet rule and distaste of droids, all of it. It caused a cultural shift.
That’s how people who’ve never seen The Mandalorian recognize Grogu wherever they go. How they can tell you Din Djarin can’t remove his helmet. How they understand that “This is the Way” is associated with Mandalorians. Its impact spreads far beyond Star Wars and its fandom. That project has touched the hearts of many, many people, even people who’ve never seen the movies before.
That, so far, is something I’ve yet to see with any other live-action Star Wars series. That’s why, to me, The Mandalorian is incomparable to any other series.
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wander-wren · 8 months
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as everyone is talking about bad media literacy i want to talk about a conversation my sister had with me about barbie. minor spoilers (first ~30 mins) ahead.
now, i still havent seen barbie (i get around to watching things very, very slowly, if at all), but i knew the basic gist almost immediately based on vague internet posts.
my sister is 15 and very into that kind of diet feminism that seems radical when you’re 15 and your worst oppression is your band teacher picking the guy drummer over you (which sucks, btw, esp bc she’s objectively better and more disciplined, but like, you know what i mean). i do my best to nudge her to more critical thinking and such, but i was a 15yo diet feminist once too, i know how it goes.
anyway, with those two bits of knowledge i figured she’d like barbie, get the messaging, all of that.
she texts me that night and says “ummm so i’m watching barbie and they’re hating on cellulite a lot. like it’s one of the major reasons she’s leaving barbieland and they have a banner that says goodbye cellulite at the goodbye party”
and i was like. baffled. bc i was under the impression that she knew how movies worked. i mean, we both poke fun at our OTHER sister who can never pay attention to a movie and always ends up making us pause it to explain plot points she missed, so surely she understands story structure, right? that the protagonist has to learn a lesson? it’s fucking BARBIE. i knew months ago commentary on beauty standards was probably going to play a big role. esp bc it’s greta gerwig but i don’t think my sister knows who she is.
so admittedly i was less nice than i could have been when i was like girl you do understand the movie is about barbie leaving her perfect girl world and having to come to terms with reality, right. and learning she doesn’t have to be perfect. like. i just needed to hear “barbie leaves barbieland and goes to the real world” to put that together.
and like. i haven’t seen the movie but what she described sounds REALLY over the top. a “goodbye cellulite” banner? very unserious. would not ping in my brain as The Message Of The Movie at all.
i am genuinely concerned that my sister was worried the barbie movie (2023) was going to be all about hating cellulite and upholding beauty standards. this kid is smart. she’s 100% open to and aligned with the movie’s messaging. what about when it comes to a piece of media she’s less open to? one that presents a stance she doesn’t agree with and then doesn’t spend the rest of the movie explicitly condemning it?
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ask-cloverfield · 2 months
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In an interview Halo Showrunner David Wiener stated that fan reaction to the season 2 finale will be “Finally”
really like the wording chosen for that
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nellectronic · 2 months
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add “friday night parties” to the list of things I am NOT gonna miss about living in a dorm… I mean noisy neighbors were already on there but this specifically bothers me on so many levels
#see normally I’d just put on my noise cancelling headphones and it’d be whatever but#I am so determined not to fuck up my piercing#and I really don’t wanna tell them to shut up bc it sounds like they’re having fun and I’m in an especially too nice for my own good mood#and! I do genuinely earnestly want them to have fun. I am NOT a hater!! just bc I never got to do any sort of partying and never really#wanted to anyway doesn’t mean I’m gonna project that onto anyone else#but on the other hand friday nights specifically are sacred to me#as the first night of the weekend where I get to sleep in and the first night I don’t have to worry about assignments due the next morning#and also as a kind of religious thing#I don’t really observe shabbat anymore but I never was able to get used to the friday night = party time association#and I don’t particularly want to!! friday nights are for chillin and I like it that way.#anyway all this to say I am trying to enjoy my chill evening and there is NOISE and I’m not gonna do anything about it (at least#until Official Quiet Hours start) but I absolutely will complain#I convinced my mom to get a library card and give me the number so I can read books on libby#(would have gotten one myself but idk if I qualify for one at the library near my school and I’ll be gone in a few months anyway)#and now I am TRYING to read lockwood & co book 1#(yes it is technically a middle grade series. yes I am twenty two years old. if the show is anything to go by it’s a more accurate#portrayal of teenagers than any media I consumed as an actual teen. let me live)#but alas. The Noise#and yeah I know noisy neighbors are not exclusively a dorm thing but I can’t imagine a normal apartment will be nearly this bad#also to be clear this is not a weekly occurrence#I don’t actually think these particular neighbors have given me any issues before#which is part of why I’m feeling so patient with them… probably too patient tbh#I should probably delete this later#probably shouldn’t post it at all but oh well. what’s the point of life if you can’t share every minor annoyance with#a bunch of strangers on the internet?#screams into the void
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jemmo · 8 months
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hey so i read your "rant" about seonwoo and younghee and, if you dont mind i want to give my 2 cents on the matter (feel free to ignore this) but with seonwoo i think this insecurity about what other's might think, and his people pleaser nature shows in how much he cares about hyungjoon and minseong having a date. im not saying he is malicious, but this nature which he has said "that's how i am and im not going to change that" is betraying him. and will hurt ppl and himself: you can't keep everyone happy without someone's feelings getting hurt. (trust me this is coming from a people pleaser who went to therapy) i agree seonwoo needs to start prioritizing his OWN feelings, whichever they might be and start giving closure to those he can't see himself in. like you said, younghee could handle rejection. hell he has been rejecetd by seonwoo multiple times already. well maybe not rejected, but ignored and not being seonwoo's priority.
now yeonghee...his age betrays him. a lot. many times. he is adorable and he has won over everyone's hearts, like they all dote on him bc he is the youngest. and he, in kind, responds with more youthful reactions which are normal from a 21 y/o. like nobody bats an eye when in ep1 while junseong and seonwoo are bickering palyfully while washing dishes, he just paces around to watch over them. but if it was seonwoo people would have noticed in a heartbeat. these behaviours of a 2years removed teenager, again, are "normal" for his age, but should not be directed at someone who is 12 years older, and who sees said behaviours like they are: juvenile reactions of a guy with a crush.
i love your take about seonwoo seeing younghee as projection of himself, who couldn't live his life as a queer man in his 20s. bc whenever he is with younghee (i think of when they come back that lil twirl thing he does before opening the door), seonwoo just lets his younger self heal, but that is not romance. when seonwoo is with seongho he appears more reliable, friendlier, fonder. still, i can't call it romance on account that their age up is still 9 years.
anyway these are my observations, i don't know if i missed the mark on some aspects. so id love your take on them
have an amazing day!!
first off, apologies for taking so long to reply to this ask, but I find it rather interesting, and frustrating, that so much of what you said here still stands true for seonwoo and yonghee despite it being weeks later. and now that he’s removed from the sungho and junsung situation, I think it’s interesting that he acts so differently around people that are his friends vs people he still has some kind of romantic connection to, like he has made progress and moved forward in his relationship to both sungho and junsung with the help of hindsight and has managed to realise a lot of the places where he fell short in his actions. but bc he refuses to resolve the situation with yonghee, he can’t get to that point where hindsight helps him see how he’s made mistakes and his actions have caused hurt.
what I think these two need is to enter a relationship where they aren’t thinking about things so seriously. seonwoo needs a relationship where he can be at ease and have fun and feel secure and like he doesn’t have to please, he just needs to relax, and I don’t think yonghee can give him that bc he is being so serious with his feelings, with the strength and passion of them, that it puts seonwoo on this pedestal, and he would do anything for him, which means that he can’t see or won’t call out any of his flaws, which someone needs to do. despite how hard and emotional it was, look at how deeply it affected minsung for hyungjun to call him out on something. I think seonwoo needs that, someone strong enough and that cares enough to say something to him with kindness and clarity. just look at how effective and rewarding it was for him to learn something from sungho and see a different side of himself. he needs someone to see him, and not glorify him like yonghee does, and in turn yonghee needs someone that he can be calm around, someone that tells him to tone it down, that he doesn’t need to be actively trying to sell himself and show his good sides and change for a relationship, bc at his age that’s not something he should be taught as the correct thing to be doing. like he is enough, he is so enough, and changing himself to earn someone’s affection not only doesn’t work, but isn’t something he should feel like he needs to do. he has this incorrect notion that doing all this and trying so hard is romantic, and it can be when the other person sees and appreciates it, and when it doesn’t come at the cost of losing yourself, but by not saying anything against it, seonwoo just lets yonghee continue to believe that this is a romantic thing to do, when he needs to be told straight. and this thing he has with yonghee reminding him of his first love and more generally of being young and having those youthful, strong romantic feelings, it’s almost like he doesn’t want to crush that, he wants to hold onto this memory of him falling in love that strongly and not hurt that part of him he sees in yonghee that would have to be so strong and brave to behave this way, he doesn’t want to crush it.
I just think the relationship they have is so interesting bc I do think there are feelings there, but the strength of them and where they come from is so unequal, it doesn’t feel like they’re engaging with who each other actually are, instead they see these ideals of romance in each other that they want to chase and hold onto. and I think the kindest thing I can say about both of them is that they deserve to find someone that loves and values them for the people they actually are
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every time I see someone say their favorite executions were sdr2’s, I lose a couple years off my life I think
#I’M SORRY I’M BEING NEGATIVE TODAY#but I hate those executions so much. they’re so cartoony and bad#and most of them are animated super lazily#chapter 3’s is disgustingly sexualized#AND AGAIN THEY’RE JUST. NOT SCARY. LIKE THEY’RE NOT EFFECTIVE AS A MEANS OF MAKING YOU FEEL FOR THE CHARACTERS#the only exceptions to this are usami’s ‘’execution’’ in the prologue and the chapter 5 execution#those slap - and it’s simply because they manage to make the threats realistically terrifying#and yes. Yes I KNOW that sdr2’s executions bei exaggerated and cartoony TECHNICALLY fits with the lore of that game but consider this:#it still sucks#like my dears ‘tis a psychological horror franchise. bye bye ouchies doesn’t thrill or upset me it just makes me lose braincells /Meg#hell even most of THH’s executions weren’t great.#Thousand Knocks is utterly DEVASTATINGLY shocking and therefore one of the strongest in the series imo#and the burning of the versailles witch could have been very good if not for the ending#but the others are just………I do not like them.#excavator destroyer is. fine. like yeah okay big twist alter ego was discovered but. it’s so fucking low stakes. besties it’s a computer#OH ACTUALLY. MAKOTO’S VERSION OF AFTER SCHOOL LESSON MIGHT GENUINELY BE MY FAVORITE OF THE WHOLE SERIES#THAT ONE’S FUCKING INCREDIBLE IT’S SO STRESSFUL TO WATCH OUGH I LOVE IT#and the. when alter ego saves him….. WHEN THEY FLIP THE FORMULA!!!!!!!!#WHEN YOU’RE WATCHING THE EXECUTIONS YOU KNOW HOW UNPREVENTABLE THE CHARACTERS’ DEATHS ARE…….SO WHEN ALTER EGO SHOWS UP IT’S SUCH A MOMENT!!!#genuinely so good and Kyoko’s version completely pales in comparison like it’s not even a competition#and then v3 is like………it has the most consistent execution qualities of the series I think but none of them are particularly noteworthy#Blast Off 2.0 is cool as fuck for the ending alone but the fact that they reused the blast off concept from thh………it’s disappointing af ngl#I LOVE cultural melting pot for the name alone but man…….mixed feelings on it at best#the only real issues I have with the rest are the monokubs basically highjacking everything at the most climactic moments#AND OH MY FUCKING GOD. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BUGS PANIC. stupidest execution EVER and its only saving grace#is that it’s even SLIGHTLY gory
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westernsunshine · 1 year
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I fell off the massage table 🙃
#i’m okay! but yeah basically there was a series of unfortunate events#it all started when i decided to wear a sports bra to my massage. it doesn’t open in the back so i had to pull it over my head and be fully#topless. this is already bad since there’s no separate room to disrobe. it’s one small room that also contains my best friend#and the massage therapist. so there’s me and two other people in this room#so i managed to get myself onto the table okay but then i got massaged#and i turned down the glass of water i was offered afterwards because i didn’t want to expose myself while drinking it#so then my friend & the massage therapist were chatting away and i tried to nonchalantly slither off the table and summarily leaned WAY too#far one way and tried to right myself but instead i capsized the whole thing. :(#i didn’t break anything though! and i didn’t set myself or anything else on fire#i didn’t even hurt myself; idk how i managed that. i just was super disoriented afterwards lol#like i really got my legs turned into jelly through the power of aromatherapy massage and then i threw myself on the ground. for WHY#but my muscles do feel better and looser and i feel very relaxed#i will say i think i’m going to have to have a lot of massages before i get used to how ticklish it is because ya girl is touch starved#and i have a specific spot on the left side of my lower back which if you touch it i will try to leap out of my skin#the massage therapist was like ‘do you have anxiety?’ and i was like ‘i mean i do but more than anything else i’m just Deeply ticklish’#anyway. if there’s like.. a method of getting off a massage table that doesn’t involve falling off it i really need to learn what that is#before the next time. i’m definitely going back because i did really enjoy myself but i need to become significantly less clumsy#also i will wear a normal bra. after all of that i still exposed myself and i just… i really didn’t need to lmao#on the bright side i did have an overall good experience. and i didn’t break anything. and my hair smells amazing#so i think overall it went well#personal
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edalynn · 2 years
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#i like desperately want to rant somewhere other than just to slog and fox#and just do it in a tag post ig bc I don’t want to be annoying and beat a dead horse#but everything abt the huntlow arguments from fans rubs me the wrong way#fandom seems to think Willow is this happy go lucky loving unconditionally without question sweetheart#when in reality she’s actually kind of a bitch#like to anyone outside of her immediate inner circle and sure she wasn’t confident at the start of the series but she was still kinda#self absorbed ie was a jerk to king in the carnival ep had convinced Luz to disobey Eda multiple times (yet admonishes Gus when he does it?)#like I’m not saying she’s EVIL or BAD she just doesn’t have the highest empathy AND ALSO she’s a fucking badass too#so not some shy quiet girl like huntlow shippers pretend#also have seen ppl say she turned 15 and I’ve seen no canonical evidence to back that up unless I missed something but the age gap bothers m#also seen shippers say huntlow interracial rep is better and more needed than a main character interracial wlw ship#also abt it being good bc Willow is curvy and that exists in no other shows which 1. willows lack of confidence never came from her looks#but came from her abilities as a witch & 2. practically every modern cartoon has fat or curvy girls in love now this isn’t new#and finally it’s irks me that this is how everyone views it but in reality the only times she’s interacted with hunter were to use him for#her own gain. 1. starting a flyer derby team 2. saving Gus#she literally didnt care abt him being there at all until she was like oh bump let’s use him to find Gus like didn’t pay attention to him#at ALL. if anything IF hunter has a ‘confirmed crush’ I want it to be oh no sweetie ur experiencing friendship and admiration not love#and for everyone to get straightbaited lmao#not putting in tag bc I’m not THAT MEAN#and also no one try to “’convince me’ of anything bc u wont#taako talks
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devilsskettle · 2 years
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thank u so much ur takes r so sexy, I also loved X but felt so conflicted on what literally just felt like "ew old people" and ageism and demonization of dementia? like I was just waiting for more and was disappointing but everything else was pretty well handled, but could have done better!
omg thanks for reading!! i agree, like i do find the intergenerational conflict an interesting premise but i wasn’t thrilled about the direction they went. like there was really no nuance lol
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riickgrimes · 2 years
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really not liking how the minute cordy went into the coma it was like she barely existed
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slashmagpie · 2 years
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Also I wanna say my posts about being tired of the DSMP fandom are not aimed at my followers/mutuals y’all are chill.
#magpie chirping#idk the fandom in general has just been exhausting me lately#how do you have the energy for so much lore discourse. don’t you have anything better to do.#and it’s like. idk! i like this series. i enjoy it.#and I will freely admit it has its problems#but goddamn every time there’s a stream my dash is just constant negativity#aren’t you tired of going ape shit? don’t you just want to be nice?#and like. idk. i don’t think the dsmp is particularly *good* as a piece of media.#and I think there’s a lot to discuss about what makes something bad media and what exactly that entails#but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like it or that it isn’t compelling#i like a lot of bad media. i think it’s important to consume bad media.#i think it teaches you more about storytelling and critical thinking to analyse bad media over good media and I think that’s good for you#but half the time the shit I see on my dash isn’t analysis or even valid criticism#it’s either nitpicking over something small and inconsequential and easily ignored#‘I personally don’t like or understand this and that means it’s objectively bad’#or people treating it like a fully finished and polished story and not a work in progress that hasn’t finished saying what it’s trying to#idk. this is a very personal venty kinda post.#but no wonder no one streams lore anymore. if any time I did anything creative people responded like this I wouldn’t want to either.#it’s not a big deal though like I have other interests and also the ability to log off#i hope the rest of this fandom does too it’s good for you
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