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yeosbbm · 6 months

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NSFW Ateez Thoughts+ Headcanons

(some based on astrology wink wink)

MDNI !!

A/N: Simply a Drabble of what I think each member would be into and kinks until I finish my next fic which will probably be later tonight or tmr 😭

Seonghwa:

yes this man is a head game mvp and yes you’ll have hickies on your inner thighs

would be a tiddies man, but a leg man too tbh the size doesn’t matter either

will rip tights or fishnets off of you, lightly bite your calf while it’s balanced on his shoulder, gripping your thigh.. trailing up your leg before he finger fucks you

with his moon and venus sign I feel like he would most DEF have emotional sex, you got into an argument ? makeup sex. Haven’t seen each in forever ? He will be insatiable. You’re sad or stressed ? His mouth can help you feel better

Mommy Hwa is REALLL !

he eats shy girls UPPPPP for breakfast lunch and dinner like I need a hwa x shy listener fic made

Hongjoong:

has a photo album of you giving him brain and other freaky stuff on his phone and looks around before opening it to make sure members don’t see 💀

The jealousy/possessive sex would be crazy

He’ll either be petty as hell and make some snide remarks like after making you cum hard he’d be like “could he make you dumb like this ? probably not right ?”

Or he’d overstim you like a MADDDD MAN to prove a point

deep stroke champ like seriously

Will have you stuttering + speaking nonsense during sex by having you speak so he’ll hear you flustered..like he’ll ask about your day and then speed his hips up and while you can’t finish your sentence he’ll go “come on talk to me baby…”

will lay back and have you ride him/be on top after a longgg day at the studio

needs to be the best you ever had

Yunho:

He purposely gives you his clothes with the main purpose being to fuck you in them at some point of the day

after a shower you’ll ask him to bring you some clothes bc you forgot to grab some & instead of your own clothes he gives you a shirt and boxers of his and now look,, you’re in missionary with the shirt on 🫵🏽

Future Dilf Yunho is VERY VERY REAL !!

Sigh…the infamous size kink…no but he’d literally press his weight against you to keep you in place especially if you’re squirming too bad

his birth chart makes me feel like aftercare would be so rejuvenating and sweet when it comes to him ykwim like it would be amazingg

Dude I know he’s an ass man or likes thicker/curvier people

Yeosang:

EEEEEEEEVVVILLLLLLLLL [mermaid man voice]

like he’d be all shy and quiet and be like “sorry I’m nervous” and then has you on the bed done and fucked out in the end while sitting there just “🙂”

I feel like he has a size kink like yunho since he’s so strong and built but not to the same extent

I am sooo for the idea that yeo likes seeing his s/o in lingerie like that’s so real

most definitely whispers in your ear with his deep husky voice during it all

hes holding your legs open while eating you and notices that you’re covering your face and holding your voice so he kisses his way up to your ear and goes “cmon love why’re you hiding from me.” while bringing his fingers in .

HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOINGGGGG

Gentle manhandling enthusiast

San:

Yes, yes he is the boyfriend that keeps you from going out the house to party by fucking you before/during you getting ready to leave

You’re doing the final bits of your makeup and you have to do your hair + get dressed but allll of a sudden San comes in and asks where you going and then you say a party and nowww he’s suddenly “you’re so pretty..let me look at you.” and now your makeup is ruined and clothes are GONE !

Switch San is REAL GUYS

Crazy stamina + positions you will be taking a quick nap after you two are through and yes he will take photos of you knocked out to laugh at later

This one writer said that if San smoked he’d pass it to you during sex and man. I am so in love with that idea . This can be found on @atinysuh ‘s account !

Mingi:

He gives aftercare but I feel like even so he’d want to be babied after too like be sooo nice and sweet to him please

I like to imagine Mingi being into older women and if not older women, women in powerful positions or confident/dominant women

Has a huge praise kink

like think about him going down on you and lightly tugging his hair and praising him sooo much while he’s between your legs he’d go ham as soon as you utter “Fuck it feels so good Mingi..” he will make SURE you cum in the next 2 mins

This is lowkey unserious but like I imagine that pussy puts him to sleep like 💀

I personally believe he’s a switch but when he does dom he is the biggest flirt and dirty talker with the upmost confidence

Wooyoung:

Same as Mingi I like to think he’d be into older women or women in positions of power

He probably has such a random libido or finds you doing the most normal/conventional things sexy

You’ll be cooking dinner later into the evening and while you’re at the stove stirring up the food he’d come from behind and wrap his arms around you, it seems innocent until he begins kissing + nibbling on your ear and lightly pressing himself into you from behind while muttering about how sexy you look

We all know he loves to be scolded + degraded like he’ll pick small arguments just to hear you mad at him because it turns him on

You’ll tell him to slow down and him being the brat he is he’ll speed up for a bit or he will slow down but goes harder than earlier

He’s probably super into people who have an alt or at least a darker aesthetic and style

Jongho:

With his birth chart if you kiss his neck..he is DEFINITELY GONNA DEVOUR YOU plus he confirmed himself that he likes neck kisses

He is a thigh riding enthusiast.

Is 100% fully a dom and lowkey I feel like he cares more for giving to you rather than receiving back unless he asks

Tease him too bad and you WILL get consequences..whether it’s edging, teasing you 3x more, or even spanking you a couple times

Would take you out to eat and playfully tease you in the restaurant just so you can beg him to go home to fuck + he isn’t asking for the bill until you beg good enough

FUTURE ! SUGAR DADDY! JONGHO IS REALLL (but you’ll love giving + getting sugar from him)

Even if he wasn’t a sugar daddy he most def is the provider boyfriend

like I just know the morning after a night of sex he’ll leave before you wake up to go to work and you’ll check your phone and see he dropped a couple bands into your bank account “For being his good girl.”

Is it obvious I’m Jongho biased LMFAOO

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vcill · 1 year

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❥⁠ When they cum

Lucifer:

Lucifer would definitely talk you through things in the bedroom, want to cum? Ask him first. Feels good? Of course it does since he's the one doing it.

When gets close, he starts to really tease you. Asking if you really deserve his cum or if you've been good enough for it.

You know how his eyes kinda glow or how the room seems to darken whenever he's mad? I feel like that would happen but not because he's mad or anything, but because he's about to release all he's got into you.

Would start growl and the fangs he has will start to bruise and break the skin on you neck.

When he does cum, he thrusts into you HARD. So much so where you're bending in half. (But in a good way lolz)

Degrades you while he does. Calling you a pathetic human who's only use is for his cum.

Will creampie you, if not, would cum on your face and force you to clean yourself up all while he sits back and watches while he slowly jerks himself off. If you miss a spot, he'll come on you again and force you to clean up a bigger mess.

In other words, luci is a very very nasty boy.

Mammon:

This is the avatar of greed. What would you expect?

Favorite position would have to be mating press when he cums, either that or he's fucking your face.

When he gets close, he rambles on about how he's gonna fill you up and make you feel so full, how no other demon could do it better then him.

Gets very possessive, will repeat "mine" over and over and will make you tell him that you belong to him too.

When he finishes, he's loud and mumbles your name over and over. Will get high off of the orgasm, tell me he won't.

But don't think you're done. Baby boy loves overstimulation and will continue once he's done.

Depending on how long you go, by the time he's done you will be covered with demon cum.

Licks all of it off happily and makes eye contact wit you while he does it.

I highly believe he and Lucifer often go on threesomes together, cause they r both nasty asf when they going at it. 🤧

Leviathan:

So you know how in hentai whenever the girls cum they go: AHHHHHHHHH

Like that but more Levi.

The three eldest just have something in common with each other. They don't shut up.

Would say he can't believe this is happening to him and that you let him defile you like this.

Feel free to disagree, but I believe his favorite position is doggy. You can be under his gaming desk and he'll thrust into you from below it. Or get a blowjob, your choice tbh.

When he gets close, he gets REALLY lewd he pretty much drunk off the sex. Boy would tell you also his dirtiest secrets and desires.

Cums a whole lot;would beg you to let him take a picture afterwards to save for later.

He loves thigh fucking!! Don't tell me anything different. Thick, small, he loves it all.

If he gets to come between them, he would lick it off which leads to him eating you out/give you a bj.

Satan:

Will go two ways with this one.

He can be really sweet and gentle and praise you every step of the way.

Or fuck you like you're not even a living being.

Really depends on his mood tbh.

If he's sweet Satan candy, he'll be soft and gentle, when gets ready to cum.

Would be like Lucifer and growl while letting out airy breaths.

Does a mix of praise and degradation.

Tells you you're nothing but a filthy cumdump but will say he'll gladly clean up all the messes inside/on you.

Prefers to cum on your stomach or in your mouth, he just really loves seeing it drip out and run everywhere.

I know a lot of fics write it differently, but I believe instead of fucking you roughly, he'll sit back and watch.

Would force you to touch and play with yourself, either with toys or just your hands.

Slowly jerks off while glaring at you, whoever he's mad at he just imagines them watching while he fucks you better then they can.

Cums on the floor and makes you crawl and lick it up.

Satan pet play cannon! 🤭

Asmodeus:

The Avatar of Lust.

Ok this finna be a REALLL nasty one so buckle up.

If you're giving him a bj, he'll cum on your face and rubs in claiming it's great moisturizer. (Knowing him, it probably will.)

Or if he's fucking, would pull out and cum on your back and trace patterns in it.

Asmo just really loves playing with cum.

If you ride him, he'll tease and play with you in every spit possible, when he gets close he gets Soo whiny and start dirty talking like crazy.

Chants your name over and over when he does, most likely brings you to your end too.

Loves recording videos of you guys fucking, whether or not he posts them is up to you.

In the videos it's you moaning loudly while you hear him in the background, telling everyone how lewd you really are and the things you do when the camera isn't on you.

Occasionally, Satan will join the both of you, (I believe those two r the closest with each other) both degrade you like crazy and covers you in their cum.

At dinner they often whisper new things to do to you, with you on the other side blushing like crazy while the others are oblivious.

Beezlebub:

100% has a breeding/size kink.

Favorite position is prob full nelson or the siren.

Either way he has a grasp on you SOMEHOW.

Would be in the mix of gentle and rough, might ram into you and take it slow and steady the next.

Praise king, do not tell me anything different.

Constantly tells you how good you feel/look like while cumming into you. Loves watching it drip out like a cream puff or jelly donut. Satisfies his hunger in the quickest way.

If not in you, then on your thighs. He loves them since they look like little breads rolls and are soft like them. The warm feeling and softness makes go crazy.

Pants like a dog in heat when he's close, def would like your neck or face a few times, doesn't matter if it has food on it or not.

When he cums, he lets out a growl/roar and pulls you close to him while he finishes.

May or may not have made you something with his cum in it and watches you it. Totally didn't.

But if you do find out and don't mind, throat fucking becomes wayyy more common cause he loves watching you eat his cum.

Belphegor:

Handjobs are probably his favorite.

(didn't hear this from me, but I can see him having a hand kink.

Watches you while you jerk of his cock and compliments how pretty your hands look while doing so.

Breathy and whiny moans come from him as he holds your other hand and demands you to go faster.

Believe it or not, this would be a super intimate moment.

He cums with a series of whispered curses and squeezes your hand. Licks your hand and makes you watch as he does so.

Favorite position is reversed cowgirl/ side spoon. Anything that doesn't require him to much work is perfect for him.

Cums on your ass mostly, doesn't really like to cum inside unless he's feeling really possessive or too lazy to pull out.

When you beg him to cum inside, his only words for you are needy/filthy. Tell you to clean up your own mess while he finishes.

#mammon smut #lucifer smut #obey smut #obey me headcanons #obey me x chubby reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me x female reader #satan x reader #beelzebub x reader #shall we date asmodeus #belphie x reader #beelzebub smut #asmodeus smut #satan smut #belphie smut #leviathan smut #leviathan x mc #belphegor smut

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aboyscriminalrecord · 15 days

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tbh if i was dating alastor id cling to him so hard because fuck his reputation, i want to be beside you all day.

That’s so realll

He does not like pda, he thinks if people know you two are close they are gonna try to hurt you, so he’s definitely the type to: “darling, please, give me two minutes, I’ll be back before you know it”

(You do not give him two minutes)

He’s not so much worried about his reputation, because if he could, he’d love to show you off, but he’s worried about you getting hurt

#alastor fanart #alastor #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel #alastor x y/n #hazbin hotel x y/n #alastor x reader #alastor the radio demon #alastor x you #hazbin hotel x reader

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on-leatheredwings · 5 days

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Also been thinking about monster au and Damian has major gargoyle vibes but idk what that would mean for Brucie or Talia but that's neither here nor there. And idk why but Jason as a dullahan just makes sense to me, I blame the dullahan fic I read where he wore a motorcycle helmet to hide.....the situation and rode a bike......yea.....-damian anon

dullahan is so based for jason i agree. something something decapitated man still moving, ghost/dead man walking the earth. and damian being a gargoyle is realll

talia... first thought was medusa/gorgon but that may just be the green colors LOL... i keep thinking of a very dark, goth dragon for bruce but he's not dragon vibes tbh. something huge and foreboding like that though...

tim... gnome under the bridge. or fae. something very clever and witty and maybe has riddles.

dick, fae but in a more carefree and fun way. definitely something with wings.......... very inch resting to think about

#ask

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astrobei · 1 year

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5, 20 (sorry couldn't resist), and 22 for the writer ask game!!

oooh hello hello hello !! ok Let's Seeeeee

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most

ok to be honest i only started getting back into reading Actual Books and not just fics pretty recently after years of my attention span being too terrible to focus on a book long enough to read it so i don't know if there are any that have really influenced my writing style specifically? but some authors whose styles i Love in general are khaled hosseini, because i read a thousand splendid suns and the kite runner over the summer and . wow ok idk i just love the way he writes if i could have even a Sliver of the command he holds over prose i would be the luckiest mf alive for realll and also thea (@wiseatom) is making me read the raven cycle for the first time and i'm still on the first book but i looooove love love her writing style so much i feel like if i get rly into the series that'll definitely be a bigger influence on me !!

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you're working on

OK YEAH OF COURSE should have seen this coming tbh i don't even blame u !! here is more fake dating shenanigans for u <3

22. How many drafts do you need until you're satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

oooh that's a good question! i'm usually a one-and-done girl in that i don't really go back and edit large parts of my fic (adding/taking away large portions of writing, etc.) and i don't really write enough actual plot into my fics to edit for plot holes or anything so i'll usually write a "first draft" of the whole fic the entire way through, and then go back to check for spelling/grammar mistakes (to the best of my ability, i definitely miss some LOL) and if there were any lines i think of between finishing the fic and editing it, i'll add them in! but i do usually like to get the whole thing out as polished as possible in the first draft and make minor edits after so i guess my answer would be like. 1.5? (and tbh i'm rarely ever Truly Satisfied but i just hurry up and post before i can overthink it ksdjfksdjf you know the vibes!)

these were super fun thank u !! :^)

#/ask #yall will take any excuse to ask for a snippet huh #i dont even blame u i do this w every writer i follow #sldkfjsdkfjsdf #parkitaco my beloved thank u for giving me an excuse to force another snippet down my followers' throats

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kitten4sannie · 7 months

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I also love these convos! They’re so fun! And I get to learn cool stuff about you! ☺️☺️ No I totally understand! I’ve been resting a lot! Although im still sleepy😔 no frfr Maki and Todo?? They’re so fine 😵‍💫😵‍💫 and I heard chainsaw man is ruthless with taking out characters! and I don’t read it but I’ve seen stuff about it! And you’re so right we are twins!❤️❤️ Mugen is just THAT guy 🫣🫣 UZUMAKI IS YOUR FAV?!?! You’re not gonna believe this but it’s also my fav and there’s a new animated series coming out by adult swim about Uzumaki!!! I’ve read Uzumaki, Tomie, Smashed, Venus in the blindspot, lovesickness, no longer human, Fragments of horror, etc! Tbh I think I’ve read all of his stuff!! Mitsuri is so real! I love her! Her backstory was a bit sad too :( Muichiro’s backstory was so sad :( I literally cried :(( I LOVE inosuke!!!! That’s my baby :(( and you have such good taste!!! Nezuko is absolutely adorable 🥺🥺

P.s yeah! You’re a cutie patootie!!!! Of course!!🥰🥰 your response was so cute!!! It made me even more flustered!!! Jeonghan is definitely make me flustered on purpose<33 currently crushing on him ngl.. gonna make him my bf<33

aww hehe it’s fun to learn cool stuff about you too 💖 oh nooo ;; i hope we both can recover soon and feel rested <3 everyone’s so hot in jjk for absolutely no reasonnn. it’s very ruthless ;-; like it’s a very vague spoiler but they’ve introduced characters in one chapter and got rid of them in very the next ;; hehe yes twinsies ✨ ohh absolutely that guyyy and jin too… hhhhhhhnn. omgg it’s your fave too??? and yes i saw the trailer for itttt im so excited!!! oh damnnn he has a lot of stories too :0 ahh yes all of their backstories are always so heart-wrenching i swear ;;;; realll i love every time he’s onscreen he’s always such a cute little goofball!! so so adorable like i wanna carry her on my back toooo when’s it my turn :(((

aww sweetheart >< yayy that was the goal hehe~ making people flustered always makes me flustered too haha so it’s fun <33 i can’t blame you for crushing sm on jeonghan,, that man is so fine it should actually be illegal *^*

#ask #for bunbun 🐇#i love queue ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

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storge · 2 years

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Wi Ha Joon | Bad and Crazy

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muichiroslover · 3 years

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Bored so im gonna share my Tokyo Revengers Oc bc why not (●’◡’●)ﾉ

Meet Kei Mishima, my little menace (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)♥︎

꧁Information dumb: ꧂

➪he may look calm and collected and in reality he’s actually a menace and has been put on leave from the gang multiple of times 😭💀

➪”Mikey he had a bat so I grabbed the nearest thing possible, it’s not my fault it was a fire extinguisher”

➪attends the same high school as Chifuyu and Baji

➪Mikey was realll smart putting him in Smileys division 💀 well it actually became a little smart when he started falling for the other twin 👀

➪he’s actually decent friends with the people in the gang but outside he’s near damn unapproachable 💀he would never be outright mean to someone but he’s not sunshine and rainbows

➪thought he gets suspended from the gang a lot it’s never anything too bad like hitting a girl, just things like burying someone under wet cement for picking on another person 🤷‍♀️ hey he gets the job done

➪he also really hates when people misgender other people as to seeing one of his closest friends go by they/them pronouns, take all fire extinguishers off the premises or else duck 💀

➪as I said in the 2nd timeskip he was in hiding due to being chased by Kisaki & his mob, that lead him into having to change his entire appearance so he wouldn’t be found and killed

➪in this timeskip he pretty much went off the grid and moved pretty far away, sometimes he gets sad that he left his friends behind but at the same time every took their own paths for safety

Relationships to the characters❦

☞︎Him and Mikey are pretty good friends, though sometimes they have bouts because of Kei’s behavior

☞︎Draken scolds him, a lot 💀 but at the same time he takes good care of him like a younger brother

☞︎Mitsuya is like a strict fun aunt to him tbh LMAO he lets Kei get away with stuff but also scolds him plenty

☞︎Him, Smiley and Baji, menaces, that’s all I have to say

☞︎Angry, at first he was low key intimidated by him but once he got to know him and after he patched him up one time he caught feelings, his standard are low 😭

☞︎Takemichi is low key scared to approach him 💀 and he definitely has fun knowing that, he makes sure to seem extra intimidating around him just for laughs

☞︎Chifuyu is his all time peace maker, if he’s not with Baji he’s with Kei keeping him out of trouble, he also is the one who got Kei to stop bullying poor Takemichi 😕

And here’s that one scene cuz I love tough guy x soft guy 🙁

(that’s all thanks for reading (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞♥︎, maybe more on Kei or not idk (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`))

#fiction #romance #scenarios #tokyo revengers #tok rev #tokrev baji #tokyo revengers baji #tokyo revengers chifuyu #tokyo revengers smiley #tokyo revengers angry #tokyo revengers takemichi #tokyo revengers draken #tokyo revengers mikey #tokyo revengers oc #original character #my oc art #tokyo revengers mitsuya

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jrwiyuri · 3 years

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Fuck I had a whole ask written out and it deleted :<

I’m too tired to rewrite all the explanations so just ask about anything you’d like to know more about

Rockabye: Chip & Ollie mirroring Arlin & Chip

Crazy = Genuis: Chip. The opposite of Gillian, how he’s doing morally mindset & things but also not really in a malicious way. He’s a child who never got the chance to mature. Plus his batshit plans somehow working and general spark/spunk.

Shots: Jay, especially concerning her “family” looming as a very real threat to her real family

I’m Gonna Win: Gillian. Specifically in the context of his good message in an ominous tone. Like, he’s definitely going to hurt or even betray someone on accident just because he’s a stubborn paragon. Not on purpose of course! But his mindset is dangerous.

I’m on a boat: Earl

Nothing Critical: Lizzie

I’m fairly local: el ch

Okay wtf these are all so accurate??? Fucking hell the first one made me get emotional REALLL quick cause I know the song like ahzkzbdksnfkSjnfjsnf sobbing.

The second one does describe chip hella well- he is that very chaotic but somehow manages to get shit right type (some fucking how;;)

Jays made me sad as well but like agHhh it’s so accurate :((!! It’s hurts even more cause I can relate to having very complicated feelings with family and like djskfjemn jay doesn’t wanna hurt either of themmmm Hhh :( (chip I love u but why the FUCK did you say they’d help with the war god dammit you stupid bitch arGGg bARK BARK)

Again- gillions is VERY accurate!! Like seriously- from the over confidence but also kind of jsut faking it to saying he’d possibly end up very i Kruger / alone (losing all of his allies) to ‘win’ (likely the shit to do with the prophecy but tbh can jsut go for anything with his moral compass) it’s a very good song 4 him

Earls is.. it’s just accurate. Nothing else to even say LMAO

Lizzie is also soo good!! The kind of relaxedness to it but also being very aware that she is prepared for betrayal or sudden aggression and will fuck you up (specially towards jay?? Yeah this is very good)

Also idk if you ended up being cut off or I’m stupid and have a bad memory but idk who el ch is 😔

#long post #Snake Answers #InkyTrinket irii #Friend Tag!#||#the last one kind of reminds me of the sisters tho #not as intense but it reminds me of them being forced to kind of evil and shit but then also not rlly wanting to #idk!#lol I am just making a guess #either way #BANGING SONGS FOR THEM!!

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995z · 7 years

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@djpaulyd I don't think they did it. Sebastian's not my favourite but I don't think his arrogance necessarily means that he could commit a triple homicide. I think it was a terrorist organisation too, the mum's face being covered was a huge red flag also the way they got their confession, their technique!!!! HOW IS THAT EVEN REALLL? And HOW was it admissible? They literally would not have said any of that ever if the agents hadn't of set up the whole thing. It's so scary.

I'm not surprised he slept with the lawyer tbh are you? He'd been locked up at that point for like six years haha. Incredibly careless and damaging for the case though and definitely makes him look SO bad and like he could be guilty. What other ones have u watched? Episode 2?????

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mywholelittlelifeinonepage-blog · 5 years

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toxic relationship 2015-2018

Ok so where do I begin?

My whole life I dreamed ab having a cute bf with a cute perfect relationship. I mean I did have some “relationships” along the way like when I lived in Brazil I had a little boyfriend in which we would gift each other presents on valentines day but that was it, or when I was in middle school I had 2 little bfs( during different times ofc) in which I would go to the mall with sometimes, seat next to each other In lunch , and makeout in the school staircase. but never really a REAL boyfriend.

Towards the end of middle school I started feeling the realll need to be loved and have a bf for some reason, but never in a million years would I have thought things would turn out the way they did. Get ready kids, its story timeee!

It all started my first day of freshman year, new school, new ppl, I was so overwhelmed and confused. Off the bat( not to sound cocky) all the guys were staring at me and saying I was pretty, I was so excited tbh. So it did not seem strange to me when a girl approached me and said “that guy thinks you are beautiful” and pointed at this skinny tan kid that was so ugly tbh HAHAHAHAHAH. Later on that same guy came & asked me for my number, and me being the nice girl I was said yes even though I did not want anything to do w him.

My freshman year was definitely a blur. I was experimenting new things and honestly getting with so many cute guys since I was considered one of the prettiest girls in school. Mean while, the ugly kid that asked me for my number on the first day of school, actually became my best friend. I would tell him everything and even though I knew he wanted to be more, I was not interested at all, in fact, I was with one of his besties at the time. When his bestie and I ended things , the ugly kid that was now my best friend and I became even closer, so close to the point where he asked me a question. “ I know we are just friends but I have not had my first kiss and would love for it to be with someone as important to me as you” I didnt care so we did it and from then on we honestly jus became something.

In the beginning lets just say I had him in the palm of my hands since I was kind of ashamed of being with this skinny ugly kid. He wanted to go public so bad and be something more than a h.u but I refuseddd. Until he started getting better looking(which until this day idk if he got better looking or I just caught feelings ) but I just gave in and became something. Honestly the beginning was perfect. We always went on dates, were always w each other, said our first I love you’s , lost our virginity to each other( could be another story time but I will see) and it was pretty great. One day, one of my best girl friends came up to me and said a girl told her that her and my boyfriend had sex and he cheated on me . Him and I fought ab it but I honestly never rlly believed it since I was so young and naive, so our relationship kept on.

I won't say our relationship was perfect bc it wasn't. As I grew to love him I became very overprotective and annoying since I wanted him all to myself(now ik it was unhealthy and I shouldn't have done that but I was my first relationship so I was confused) looking back we should've set boundaries but we never did. As time went on, he started to kind of mistreat me and say very hurtful things, he also started bailing on me to be with his friends and stuff. which is when things started to get bad. I should have never let him be so verbally abusive to me but he was and just kept on since I never did anything ab it. We just started to fight and fight and fight but I was so blinded by love that I did not let him breakup w me under any circumstance. Until one day, he just admitted to me that what my friend said was true , he had cheated on me.

After that everything went even more downhill. he was always so nasty to me and never really cared ab how I felt. Sometimes we would be good but sometimes we wouldn't. The problem was, the good times were so good that I wouldn't want to let him go.He just started breaking up w me all the time for no reason and I would just beg and beg and beg for him back. That kept on for a long time until one day in the beginning of junior year, he broke up w me and even though I was hurt I had the strength to let him go.

That break up was hard for me but it actually helped me a lot since I had a rlly strong support system. I was coaching cheer as well as actually being in a team with my besties which helped me a lot since I was always busy. When I wasn't cheering I was hanging out w my best friends and going to parties and stuff which honestly was smmm fun bc I was living the hs life and getting TRASHHHED every Friday, sat ,and Sunday. But ofc I would sometimes still see him and I was still very hurt since I would hear stories ab him getting w so many different girls. I was getting w one guy but it didnt mean shit to me lmao( it was cute though cause he was a football player and I was a cheerleader and he was HOT). I was actually so busy all the time that I lost sm weight and went from a kind of chubby girl to a skinny beautiful legend. Everyone wanted me.

Him and I actually got back after a few months and went to ny to start fresh. Even though things were going”good” there were too many trust issues towards him bc of the amount of girls he got w and stuff.The fact that he was so secretive w his phone(RED FLAG) was also weird. Our realitionshp became better when it was good but worse when it was bad. He started to physically abuse me sometimes, not beat me but but grab me hard here and there. throw me on the bed, drag me on the floor( I actually have a scar on my back bc of that). But we were sometimes good for days , even months, but bad for days also. He was so toxic and so secretive still, I knew something was up but I never rlly wanted to believe it. He broke up with me a few times more and would always add girls to the list of hookups he would have.Keep in mind, we lost our virginity to each other and at that point he was still the only guy I had been with and he had been w so many girls .... With time( by the beginning of senior year) I started realizing that the way he treated me wasn't right and started getting tired but didnt want to end things w him bc I was just so used to us. Until one day we fought harrrrd and I just went to his bathroom wrote him a letter, left it on his bed, and left his house. The letter said I was breaking up w him and the reasons why.

Thats when the tables flipped again bc I stuck to my word. I left him and started living my life, while also finding out so much shit he had done being my back w other girls while we were still together. it hurt like a bitch but it made me stronger. When he started realizing that I was actually gone, he started chasing me and begging me to get back together and my answer was always no. I went to EDC with my best friends, started smoking again, going out whenever I wanted to, wearing whatever I wanted, dancing however I wanted, and finally after 4 yeas of this guy telling me what to do, I started to feel free and happy w who I was again. Yea sometimes I would still see him and LOL I would always find out more shit he was still doing behind my back and stop talking to him again. But now I was much more stronger and knew my worth. He actually ended up dating( it think he still is) my ex best friend. which honestly wow they're perfect for each other cause they're both fakes and its cool cause he cheats on her too LMAOO, he actually cheated on her with me( karma is a bitch bc later on I found out he cheated on me with her). And yea , I became much closer to my girlfriends, made guy friends which I wasn't allowed to have in that relationship, graduated high school and never saw the fucker again . Now I am living my best life with a bunch of cool ppl, going out , and doing be happily ever after.

How love life is now: ik how to be in a relationship and I have also learned my worth so from now on I will only let good guys in. In case you guys are wondering I have had sex with other guys and im just happy overall while he is still stuck in a toxic ass relationship just with a different girl.

Karma is a bitch right?

with love, just me

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