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#and some months ago it was announced that they would sing the same day in a music festival
heavenlycloud · 6 months
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dream a little dream: yunjin x fem! reader ✧°🍒‧。°
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request: hi! It says that soft hours are open and I just had a thought from watching the LE SSERAFIM x Dream Academy Video where the fimmies surprised the contestants. Imagine being the 6th member of LE SSERAFIM and being in a relationship with yunjin and you both are smiling happily and holding hands while greeting the contestants, and then once you all leave some of the contestants are like “omg the way they look at each other, they’re definitely dating” or something of that sort LOL 🩷
a/n: ok so funny story i read this and then wrote it all whilst being sleep deprived and slightly delirious…so i lowkey mixed up the details but i can go back and rewrite it if you’re not satisfied (this is why i need sleep and why i need to stop trying to write from memory cuz i can’t do it).
Becoming an idol had been your dream since you were 14 years old as a freshman in high school. one of your friends showed you their favorite girl groups and you were immediately sucked into the world of kpop. as you went through high school and entered university your hope of making your dream come true slowly dwindled. companies were starting to debut girls younger and younger which you didn’t think gave you much of a chance at 18 years old. that was until you got an email from someone about submitting an audition for a new girl group that would form under HYBE in the next year. at first you thought it was a scam, but after doing a deep dive on the internet you realized it was more real than fake. you submitted the audition with little hope knowing that you’d practically ‘aged out’ of the trainee age range, on top of the fact that you hadn’t been singing or dancing since infancy like every idol seemed to have done. so it was a huge surprise when you got an email back 8 weeks later confirming that you passed the audition. by some miracle you’d convinced your parents to let you go to Korea to become a trainee under HYBE with the hopes of debut. truthfully, they only said yes knowing that you’d probably be sent back home after 6 months…and your university credits were valid for the next 10 years so you could pick up where you left off. 
Much like your parents assumed, you were sent back home, but instead of after 6 months, it was after 2 years. you gave everything you could to the trainee program but in the end you didn’t make the final cut due to “not having the look the group needed”. you were heartbroken to leave your new friends, the seven girls who were supposed to make HYBE’s new girl group. the three younger girls that had become like your little sisters, the two older girls that were like your older sisters, and the one same aged girl who was your best friend…maybe a little more. on your last day in the company you laughed while saying your final goodbyes, clinging onto your girls in a huddle as you tried to have a positive outlook on a shitty situation. when you got back home you were devastated to say the least. for the first few weeks you only cried and wished things had worked in your favor, until one day you refused to wallow in your sorrows any longer. 
you made a promise that you’d see them again, that you’d see her again and laying around crying all day wasn’t going to make that happen. so, you began practicing again using the techniques and lessons you’d learned over your 2 year long trainee experience. when the audition announcement came out this time around you didn’t hesitate to apply to the same company that let you go a year ago. given how hard you worked, it was absolutely no surprise when you found out HYBE wanted you back in their trainee program. at this point your parents didn’t bother refusing once again knowing university would be there if you ended up coming back home again. however, with the way you’d been training yourself it wasn’t looking like that would be an option. honestly you didn’t know if your driving force was to prove to yourself or to the people that sent you home that you had what it takes, but regardless you were ready this time. by the end of the first mission it was clear to the judges, trainers, and other contestants that you were certainly a force to be reckoned with. you’d only ever heard praises and slight critiques that could be fixed immediately from your trainers and judges. 
the eighteen of you all filed into the practice room and filled the seats as you sat in front of the screen that was presumably going to show your second mission. you sat between lara and sophia holding both of their hands as you anxiously watched the screen in front of you. their grips on your hand tightened when they saw the members of le sserafim appear, reacting to the Dream Academy trailer. squeals and screams filled the room as everyone shared their shock but you only laughed, finding it funny that this was the way they were seeing you again for the first time since you left. lara shook your hand and told you, “i swear if we ever meet them, i’m asking them to dance fearless with you.” a bunch of the other girls around you oohed and agreed before putting their attention back on the monitor. at some point you completely zoned out, only coming back to when you heard eunchae say, “the second ANTIFRAGILE team members are “Iliya, Karlee, Samara, Megan, and Y/N.” you leaned forward and looked at them with a big smile, nodding in agreement over your excitement to be teamed together. 
the five of you sat on the floor of the practice room and started talking about the song choice, karlee starting off with explaining how she wanted this song more. you all nodded in agreement and the other girls chimed in talking about their worries and what they were most excited for. after a moment the conversation stopped and all eyes were on you, “what?” your teammates laughed at you and you admitted, “i mean like…i’m not that nervous guys. i’ve done this performance in the shower a bunch so i meannnn…plus if i flop yunjin called me pretty so-” the girls around you fell over laughing and karlee pointed out, “dude she literally knows you.” in return you playfully glared and held your hand out, “can you let me have my moment?” megan and samara laughed even harder while iliya covered her face though her giggles. you all divided up your parts evenly, you getting kazhua’s part because of the leg extension, and megan insisting yours looked better when you couldn’t tell much of a difference. 
Throughout the practices you were given the dance leadership role which you tried to avoid but it was inevitable given your trainee history. there were little to no breaks, an incredible amount of jet lag, and a time crunch of only a few days before your performance. the pressure was certainly there and you could feel it especially with the weight of being an ex- HYBE trainee and the leader of your group. hours passed with you all in the practice room, your trainer comforting iliya as she cried out of stress and exhaustion combined with her own self doubt. you patted her shoulder and told her, “it’s okay…i cried yesterday in the shower and almost drowned in my tears and the shower water because i breathed through my nose.” the younger girl couldn’t help but laugh and you did too seeing the smile return to her face. 
*meanwhile*
“We’re watching them react to us watching their trailer and mission announcement.” chaewon and yunjin explained to their members in their van. the girls huddled around the ipad and a smile tugged at all of their faces when they saw you amongst your teammates. they watched closely, listening to all of your members speak their worries until it was your turn to talk which caused all of them to laugh, especially your banter with karlee. yunjin murmured, “i didn’t know i missed her this much.” chaewon side eyed her discreetly while eunchae and kazuha stifled a laugh. they then sent chaewon inside the practice room to pose as a staff member to record a tiktok for you and the rest of the contestants. when you all were in line you noticed how she was more covered than the rest of the staff members in the room. you narrowed your eyes, and then it was your turn aside Manon. when you made it to the front you just knew, but you only smiled and danced, the only person who also knew was chaewon herself when you winked. 
chaewon pulled off her mask and hood, “surprise!” the other girls screamed in excitement, only getting louder when the other idols walked in soon after. you ended up with marquise clinging to your side with her hands over her face. yunjin then started speaking in english, “we heard you all were practicing our songs right?” they all nodded and she added, “we’re so excited to see you guys, it’s crazy that we’re meeting you in this practice room. yunjin asked the contestants, “did you all expect it?” the girls overlapped one another with refusing responses to which the black haired girl responded, “we thought it’d be obvious…so we were like we should prank you.” the girls once again reacted with laughing and squeals which yunjin took the opportunity to make louder, “wait i think i know all of your names though.” 
Everyone straightened out into a more clear line and yunjin looked down the line and asked, “Iliya, right?” your teammate nodded and yunjin continued, “and Ezrela. Sophia, Emily, Celeste, Karlee, Marquise, Y/N-” there was a difference in her tone when she said your name, a different smile on her face, until you deadpanned, “No.” there was a second of complete silence before you burst out laughing and said, “no i’m kidding i’m sorry. do your thing.” yunjin and her members all laughed too, chaewon immediately mimicking you quietly, “no.” the black haired girl then said, “she always does this.” your teammates all laughed and nodded in agreement earning a satisfied smile from you. yunjin continued, “sorry ok- um Y/N, Megan, Brooklyn, Lara, Lexie, Samara, Daniela, Manon, Mei, aaaand Ua. Aaaand Nayoung, Yoonchae. Right?”   everyone cheered and clapped and she explained, “because i see you guys so much on like TikTok, YouTube, and everything!” you all turned into each other giggling and smiling until it was time to perform for the girls with your mission teams. 
Your team went first, you gathering your girls into a small huddle and telling them quietly, “just relax. we got this. alright come on, eat it up?” your teammates said in unison, “no dinner!” you laughed at the phrase you taught them on the first day, still using it now. while performing you had your nerves, especially knowing that the idols in front of you had seen your practice videos, one of which included you crying, something they’d never seen in the two years they knew you. while performing you kept your eyes on your old friends, primarily the one who still held a piece of your heart. the hours of practicing and endless stretching to get kazuha’s leg extension perfect paid off when you saw the look on all five of their faces when you did the move. 
Iliya stood beside you as you were between her and samara while le sserafim gave you all feedback as two teams. chaewon pointed out samara, praising her for the eye contact she made opposed to looking into the mirror, a common mistake amongst trainees during evaluations. kazuha looked at you and said, “y/n, your leg extension was so good! honestly you could just take my place next time we perform because you were that good.” you laughed and thanked her, sending a fond smile her way, the same one that always brought her comfort after long practices. samara tickled your leg and you playfully swatted her hand away, making her giggle quietly. when you thought one of the girls would now talk to the two teams as a whole, yunjin turned her attention to you. yunjin looked you dead in the eye, pulling a smile onto your previously stoic face. she told you, “y/n. i know from the practice videos you were worried about being leader, looking at everything to the smallest detail. but everything you did for your teammates paid off because you’re perfe- your team was perfect.” everyone in the room ouuuuu-ed which made you cover your face in slight embarrassment, yunjin doing the same. she then added, “and karlee i know you weren’t feeling well but you literally killed it…and team A, you guys chose your name right because you slayed.” the four girls burst into laughter and you all thanked the girls for their feedback before heading back to your seats, not before you sent a wink yunjin’s way which she instinctively made a heart with her hands back to you. when you sat back down you were sandwiched between lara and megan, both of whom whispered together, “you’re perfecttttt” then made the same hearts with their hands to you that yunjin did. you playfully scoffed and hoped they couldn’t feel your body getting hot with embarrassment as they teased you. 
after everyone finished their performances you all had the chance to ask the girls for anything you wanted to know. you were the first to raise your hand, “i think a big worry of us, as in all 19 of us is that we are now in a place where this is competition. all of us want to do well individually but even more than that we want one another to succeed so we can make it to the end together. it’s a given that the group won’t be 19 members. so knowing that eventually we will be sending home many of our best friends, sisters, soulmates… or whatever- like what can we do or tell ourselves so we don’t end up just dwelling on that fact? how can we keep going after dealing with that over and over?”  yunjin nodded in understanding and responded genuinely,  “wow that is a big question. there is like a motto that i live by where i just try my best to believe that everything happens for a reason. you all met for a reason, and you’re together for a reason…and i think goodbyes are unfortunately inevitable-” it was at this point that you realized she was staring directly at you. yunjin caught herself staring and looked away as she continued, “ but i think that is part of growing. and just the fact that you all collectively have this kind of worry is very touching and i kind of like teared up a little inside because it’s very hard to meet people who both support you while also maintaining your own individual driving force. i think it’s just kind of making every experience and opportunity…it’s important to continue rooting each other on. i think that’s the best way to keep going forward just knowing you know-” again her eyes found yours, “just knowing that even if you’re not together one day you will end up seeing each other again.” now there was a smile on her face as she looked at you, looking away to make it less obvious, “that’s what happened to me actually. I had practiced for quite a few years but after debuting and working my best in the end we came full circle and they were also doing their best so in the end we met.” she looked back at only you, “just take this time and make as many memories and relationships as you can. don’t be afraid of the pain that comes with having to let someone go because you can use that to get to where you want to be.” she paused then spoke as if you were the only other one in the room, “because look where we are now y/n.” you nodded and the four idols around yunjin ouuuu-ed making the rest of the contestants giggle. eunchae quietly remarked, “this just got really personal…” everyone laughed as yunjin slapped her leg lightly and brooklyn beside you started poking your side. 
a few seats down from you sophia spoke up, “i should have went before y/n because my question is gonna sound unserious…chaewon, how do you like blink on the beat in Antifragile because every time i do it i look like i got a bug in my eye?” everyone erupted into laughter and sophia added, “i’m so serious guys i look so dumb doing it!” which only made everyone laugh harder. chaewon stood up and danced the specific part before motioning for sophia do to it with her, then by herself. the idol praised your friend, “yes! you got it!” everyone clapped and sophia ran happily back to her seat with her face a light shade of pink. ezrela raised her hand, “so in your choreographies you all do a lot of like hand holding, and so like…how do you all not miss each others hands?” the idols in front of you all laughed and eunchae explained, we just have to trust each other like you go up i go down. we talk about it like that in advance and you have to hold the hands tight. even if one hand slips off, the others should hold them tight to prevent the accident.” ezrela nodded in understanding and laughed while thanking eunchae for her reply. 
right when you thought everyone was going to be done asking questions, lara raised her hand, “i have a request but you all can say no.” all five idols looked at her intently and your friend asked, “can you dance to fearless with y/n?” all of your teammates immediately cheered and your old friends looked at each other with smiles. they agreed and despite you refusing, yunjin stood up and pulled you over, engulfing you in a hug first. kazuha took off her heels and joined you her members on the floor. your friends were all giggling along, especially when they noticed yunjin had her hand slipped into yours, fingers intertwined. meanwhile the idols looked at you and you asked, “second chorus to the end? the debut formations?” they nodded and chaewon said, “from 겁이 난 없지, 없지” you nodded and found your place and let the music play. from this part of the song you were in the center, a smile on your face nobody had seen on you thus far. during the refrain everyone of your teammates saw the way yunjin looked up at you while she faced them, like you were the only girl in the world. the six of you danced to the end and when the song stopped everyone clapped and the five girls pulled you into a long and tight hug. when you all parted each of them hugged you individually, sakura first. 
the eldest told you with a fond smile, “i’m so proud of you y/n. i can’t wait for your debut.” kazuha spoke up next, “i’m wishing for your debut, unnie.” chaewon squeezed you tightly, “i’m so happy to know you didn’t give up. i’m so proud of you y/n.” eunchae pulled you into a hug, “i missed you so much unnie. i’m happy we got to see each other like this.” yunjin was last, and she mumbled into your shoulder, “come see me tonight?” you murmured back quietly, “mhm.” she grinned as she pulled away while you tried to hide the look of joy from your face. everyone thanked le sserafim and said their goodbyes before you all got a quick break, mostly for cameras to be moved and reset. the second you were alone with manon, your closest friend, she asked all knowing, “so when are you seeing her?” you tried to play it off but she knew you too well already, so you caved, “tonight.”
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letstevengrantsleep · 7 months
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Bad Girl - ft. Eddie Munson (pt.1)
older!rockstar!Eddie Munson x younger!reader
summary: you've been working on a new album so contact Eddie Munson of Corroded Coffin to feature on a song
word count: 1,205
warnings: age gap (reader is 20s, Eddie is 40s/50s)
a/n: I heard Bad Girl by Avril Lavigne for the first time in absolutely forever a few days ago and I can't get the ides out of my head that Eddie would go absolutely feral if a young girl asked him to feature on that song with him. THERE WILL BE A PT.2 TO THIS!!!
masterlist
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You'd messaged his agent months ago, rang his production company too, just to see if you could get a hold of him. There wasn't much hope really, you knew he was a busy guy. Corroded Coffin had just announced another tour that was starting in a few months, there was no way he'd have time to sit round and entertain a kid like you.
It was a month later when you got the call. It was his agent, frantic and exhausted on the other end of the phone telling you to expect Eddie the next day. No warning. Just like that.
-
As you open the door to your at home studio you're greeted by the Eddie Munson, smirking down at you as he licks the edge of his rolled cigarette.
"Hey doll face," he drawls, "heard you wanted to see me."
"Almost thought you were ignoring me, to be honest." You smile, letting him through and watching as he immediately makes himself comfortable on one of the cushy office chairs by your desk.
"I nearly did," he admits, "but my agent made me listen to your stuff and well..." Eddie smirks, "I'm a sucker for a girl with good taste like you. Got a song you want me on?" He asks, his gaze lingering a little too long on your figure as you walk away from him.
"Yeah," you get right to it, not wanting to waste the opportunity to have him here with you, "I'll let you read through what I've got so far.I have a vision but honestly I'm willing to edit and rewrite if it comes to it."
You pass Eddie a stack of notes and lyrics and sit back nervously as he reads through them, watching as he looks over the lyrics and raises an eyebrow in curiosity. "Hmm... you might have yourself a hit here, little rock star."
I smile bright at him and start rambling, still so unsure about sharing my work with people even after all this time. "I just wanted to get dirty with it, y'know? I'm fed up of holding back in my writing for the sake of what people might think about me."
"Well," Eddie smirks, "you've definitely done that. These lyrics... I don't think anyone's going to see you as anything other than dirty ever again."
He stands and goes to lean against the wall next to the mic, watching as I ready the equipment for his takes, trying to busy myself so that he doesn't see the blush on my cheeks. "So," I start, trying to change the subject, "I've already recorded the majority of my vocals, I just need you to jump in from the start here with that first line."
"You ready for take one?" That shit eating, signature grin on his face he secures some headphones over his ears and watches as you throw him a thumbs up, slightly distracted with all the equipment in front of you.
Nothing, nothing could have prepared you for the way your body would react to Eddie singing that first line. You set the track, clicked a few buttons, and sat back while you listened to him drawl into the mic.
Just lay your head in daddy's lap, you're a bad girl... His eyes flick to yours as he sings, a smirk on his face as he does.
After a few takes Eddie stands back and shook his head, watching as you smile at your computer screen.
"Oh, baby, you're lucky I can control myself with these lyrics." He teases, running his hand through his hair as he adjusts his headphones.
You can't help it when you burst out laughing, becoming flustered under his gaze. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Munson, you're old enough to be my dad."
"Hey," he starts, defensive, "old doesn't automatically mean that I don't look at you the same way a guy half my age would." Eddie laughs, wetting his lower lip, "I'm a rock star doll, I like young hot girls. And right now that's you."
Rolling your eyes, you raise your eyebrow at him. "Just sing, Eddie."
As the takes continue you get him to ad lib some lines between your vocals and quickly begin to loose yourself in his vocals. They're so perfect for the vision you have for this album you can't help but smile. Eddie's voice has such an edge, filled with confidence and sex, and you have a feeling that a lot of these ad libs are coming straight from his deep fantasies.
"Chills, holy shit." You smile as he finishes up the last bits of singing. "You know, once this song releases we should do it live."
"Oh you better believe we are," Eddie grins wide, "I have a very specific stage outfit in mind for this song. And it's going to be very revealing."
One wink from Eddie and you're practically on your knees.
"You'll see it at the show, yeah baby? I'll have you wondering what might happen once we're off the stage."
Fuck, okay.
You try not to let it floor you and instead roll your eyes and shove him.
"You're bad, Munson, but I totally agree. I'll have to rethink my image for this one, go for something dark to fit in with you rock stars."
This makes Eddie smile, "oh come on, bad girl. Why says you have to change to be a rock star? The rules of rock'n'roll and all that."
Agreeing with him, you sit down and wait for him to pull up a chair next to you so you can listen back to the track. Eddie has a wide smirk on his face as he listens, "fuck, doll face, I think we've fuckin' done it, yeah? You finally let your bad side out." He winks again, sliding his hand up your leg "good girl gone bad thanks to old man Munson, ey?"
Watching as he laughs, you lean back in your chair, pull your leg back and smile at him, "easy tiger, keep it in your pants yeah?"
Watching him, your breath hitches as he leans back and smirks again, "what's a little more waiting, hey baby? I'm only teasing... Just a matter of time until I really teach you how to break those good girl rules." A grin splits across his face, "I can't wait."
The song wraps itself up and before you know it, it's time for him to get going. Standing at the door with him, you speak up.
"So, I'll talk with your agent about getting me onto a Corroded Coffin gig, right?"
"Of course," he grins, "and I'll make sure we work together more in the future. Maybe even in some more... intimate environments?" He jokes, tongue in cheek as he raises his eyebrows at you.
"I'll be there, rock star." I smile back.
Eddie's lips turn up into a cocky smile as he leans back against the door frame, a light blush dusting along his cheeks and neck.
"The show? Or the intimate setting?" He asks with a wink. "I'm fine with either, or maybe both?"
I roll my eyes, "the show, pervert." You joke, "I'll see you at the show."
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Text
Star Lost
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Pairing: Chan x afab!reader (Y/N)
Summary: Y/N grew up stargazing with her father. In a way it has become a lifeline for her. However, you can't see the stars in Seoul.
WC: 1.1k
Content Warning: Intended for 18+ mature audiences, MDNI! Angst if you really think about it. Brief mention of parental death. Let me know if I missed anything else, I think it's just fluff though.
I imagine you in the night sky You comfort me somewhere Don't matter if you lose everything right now I'm holding out thinking about you I'll go anywhere - Star Lost by Stray Kids
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You let out another deep sigh, at least your fifth in the last half hour (not that Chan was counting).
He embraces you, strong arms coming around you from behind. "Y/N, what's wrong, babe?" he whispers.
You lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder as you turn your eyes skyward. "It's been so long since I've seen a proper night sky with stars," you murmur back softly.
You're currently standing on the roof of Chan's dorm building overlooking the city. It's become one of your favorite places since you began dating. The night view of Seoul is beautiful with its shining skyline. But light pollution from the same skyline obscures the natural beauty of the night sky.
You tell him about how you grew up in the countryside and on clear nights it felt like you could see the entire universe unfolding in the sky. You explain how for years your father would lay in the grass with you and point out the various different constellations and asterisms. He would animatedly tell their stories and legends.
Chan listens to you reminisce fondly, but he can hear the sadness creeping into your voice. He draws you closer and presses a kiss into your hair, patiently waiting for you to continue.
You take a shaky breath and explain how although you lost your father to illness many years ago, you never lost his love of the stars. Whenever you felt sad, or overwhelmed in life you could turn to the night sky and imagine him with you. You would speak to him and find comfort in his memory. But here in the city you haven't been able to feel that same comfort.
You can barely finish speaking before you're choking back tears. He gently turns you around so that your face is pressed to his chest and lets you cry, your tears soaking his shirt.
Although you've only been dating a few months, Chan knows that you moved here more than a year ago. It saddens him to know that you've been missing the stars and your father for that long.
His hands idly draw soothing circles on your back and eventually your hiccuping breaths quiet. His soothing touch and the familiar scent of his cologne lulling you to sleep.
As he carries you down from the rooftop and puts you to bed, Chan resolves to take you out of the city for your next date. He smiles as he brushes your hair from your face. He has some planning to do.
✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ Time skip ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
About a month later, Chan informs you he rented a small cabin for the weekend and tells you to pack a bag with comfortable clothes. Although you're not familiar with the area, you're excited to get out of the city for a couple of days.
You load your bags into the back of his car and get on the road. He's got a big smile on his face while you play music from the passenger seat. You sing along to all your favorites practically vibrating with excitement.
You're in the car for less than two hours when Chan announces you're here and pulls up outside a small but beautiful cabin. You quickly unbuckle your seatbelt and rush outside, breathing in the fresh air. He follows behind with the bags, grinning at your enthusiasm.
You spend about half an hour settling in before heading out to spend the rest of the day hiking in the nearby recreational forest. By the time you return to the cabin, you're tuckered out and turn in for an early sleep.
While you sleep, Chan prepares for the real reason he brought you out here. He takes a large blanket, some pillows and a couple smaller blankets outside to the small grassy clearing near the cabin. He lays out the large blanket on the grass and arranges the pillows. He leaves the smaller blankets neatly folded in case you get cold later.
At around midnight, he wakes you up with a gente shake and a kiss to the forehead. "Y/N, babygirl, wake up, there's something I want to show you."
You blink sleepily and stretch. "What's going on, Channie?" You ask through a yawn.
"Put on a sweatshirt and come outside with me?"
You nod sleepily and hold your arms.
He grins at you before slipping one of his big sweatshirts on you and picking you up. He carries you out to the clearing before setting you down on the blanket.
"Look up, babygirl! Let's say hi to your father."
You lie back on the pillows and look up at the sky before gasping and sitting straight back up. Out here the sky is clear and you can see the universe unfolding before your eyes.
"Channie! You remembered?" You exclaim. Neither of you had ever mentioned that conversation from the rooftop. You didn't expect him to remember and you definitely didn't expect him to plan something like this just for you.
"Of course I did," he says, grabbing your hand. "You mean everything to me, and I wanted to meet your dad."
You lay side by side holding hands as you look up at the stars. You begin speaking as if you were talking to your dad. You tell him about all your stress and worries and you tell him about Channie. About how he's the most perfect boyfriend. About how you think they would have gotten along so well.
Chan stays silent the whole time, but squeezes your hand every now and then.
Eventually you fall silent too, just staring up and the endless expanse above you, and that's when the first star falls.
You gasp and squeal, pointing up at where the streak was. "Channie, did you see?!" You barely finish your question before another streak appears in the sky. Then another.
Chan smiles at you and says "it's the Perseids, let's make some wishes."
You smile back and cup his cheek with your hand. You study the way his eyes seem to reflect the entire universe back at you. You slide your hand into his curls and whisper "I wish you would kiss me."
As he connects his lips to your in a soft kiss you think to yourself that you couldn't possibly wish for a more perfect boyfriend. If he’s by your side, you don’t think you’d ever need to see the stars again. You wish you'll STAY together forever.
You continue kissing under the falling stars until you both fall asleep in each other's arms
Little do you know, Chan made the same wish.
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A/N: If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading. I've been lurking, reading everyone's skz fanfics for a while and I finally decided to give writing a try for myself. What a better time to make my first post than on the 6th anniversary of Stay and Skz?
If you have any ideas please drop an ask in the box.
A big thank you to @writingforstraykids for beta reading.
Banners by @cafekitsune
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ador3him · 2 years
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Hello! How are you? I've had a request in mind and since they're barely any streamer!reader fics...
If you could write dynamic between quackity and streamer!reader. And they have best friends to lovers energy. I don't know if it's enough but i would appreciate if you could write it.
pairing: quackity x gn!reader
requested: yes by @klaire-jinx
warnings: maybe swearing?? not proofread (yes thats a warning lol)
word count: 824
a/n: finally wrote this ah!!! imma start posting daily maybe?? send some requests !
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“Chat!” Quackity sings whilst tapping his index finger with his hand on y/n’s knee which is out of the cameras’ sight.
“Chat!” y/n sings along with him. They grab Quackity’s hand trying to keep him relaxed knowing he is a bit nervous and sad for this stream. It is their final stream in their “meetup era” as they like to call it. They have been together for the past month after being online best friends for 2 years. y/n is also a streamer who met Quackity the day he joined the DreamSMP, of course they knew who he was before that, but they never talked to him until he officially joined. So, from the day he joined 2 years ago y/n made sure to talk to him everyday and they did which led to them becoming inseparable despite their clear physical distance.
They were about to announce that this was going to be the final stream as y/n must leave the next day to go back home. Both are devastated but they know they can’t stay together forever, even with the lingering feelings between them.
“We have an announcement,” Quackity sighs, hesitating to tell the fans what’s happening. Chat start assuming that they are announcing they are going to move in together or that they are dating. This makes him smile, knowing that chat would be okay with them living together or them dating. Obviously, that wasn’t the announcement, but he so wished it was.
“This is the final meetup era stream,” y/n says for him, they rest their head on his shoulder still holding this hand discretely under his desk. Chat goes wild, most of them are sad begging for more streams but there is the random ‘yes!’ or ‘finally’ making y/n frown slightly.
They straighten their back and let go of Quackity’s hand and start responding to chat making small talk. Quackity just sits there silent, admiring them in their element. Streaming is one of the only things keeping y/n happy about them leaving knowing that they can go home and stream with Quackity via discord. Although it won’t be the same.
Quackity doesn’t talk much through the stream, he occasionally gets up to get drinks or snacks knowing the stream will last a couple hours. They play a couple games like FNAF and Minecraft, but it all forced happiness, every joke he makes feel so fake and y/n notices this. They also notice the lingering touches and glances. He constantly has his hand on their mid-thigh sometimes lightly but when a dono comes in saying something bad about their friendship he tightens his grip. This is different through the last however many streams they have done together Quackity has never been this protective nor touchy usually he pushes them away if y/n so much as lays their head on his shoulder.
The stream starts to wrap up at 2am 3 hours before y/ns’ flight home is scheduled. Quackity and y/n want some time alone together to really say their goodbyes properly. So, when he clicks ‘End Stream’ he drags y/n to his couch and opens Netflix playing some random romcom he knows y/n will like. Quackity opens his arms and pulls y/n into his grasp spooning them, their back pressing against his chest and their legs entangled. This foreign position sets y/n off slightly. Yes, they were leaving but not for good, they have already planned a holiday for Quackity to visit them at their house in 2 months, so this was completely deeper than them leaving.
“What is your problem, Alex? You’re so touchy today, I’m not leaving forever!” they groan turning themselves around, so they were face to face on the couch. Quackity is stunned by the sudden voice raise.
“I am going to miss you, I am sorry geez,” he mumbles sitting up and climbing over y/ns’ body.
“Yeah, obviously I will miss you as well but this is a bit extra, bro,”
“Bro?”
“Shut up this is about you and your clinginess,”
“I can’t tell you why I am so clingy after you call me bro, bro,”
y/n freezes. Shit. This is totally what they think it is, Quackity has feelings for them. It makes sense, complete sense but honestly y/n was to blind to notice it and to notice themselves starting to like him as well.
“Please don’t just stare at me like that, y/n.” Quackity drags his hand over his face embarrassed.
“You like-“ y/n gets cut off.
“-Don’t say it,”
“But it’s true?”
He just nods hiding his face in his hands. He takes a seat on the couch and y/n gets off.
“Look at me please, Alex,” their soft voice is too irresistible to ignore.
“I am sorry,” He says looking up at them, they cup his cheeks with their hands and place a kiss on his forehead, then nose, then finally a soft lingering kiss on his lips.
“Don’t be sorry, love,”
392 notes · View notes
red-airhead · 8 months
Text
𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓨𝓸𝓾 | 𝓨𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓲𝓷 |
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Masterlist
word count - 1,701
genre - romance, fluff, comfort
warnings - Jeongin literally brags about reader, gn terms, afab! reader, double proposal, idol! Jeongin, kissing, happy tears, supportive fans, reader is insecure, lmk if i missed anything
the ring(s)
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Finally, after so long it arrived. 
You had begun planning on proposing to Jeongin, and as weird as that seems to some people, you were very excited to surprise him. You had ordered the ring months prior and when it arrived you were more than excited. 
Originally it was a set of two, and it just screamed you and Jeongin, but when you had gone in person to buy it, you only asked for the gold band rather than the one with the gem. When you had went back you asked about the one with the blue gem, and they had said someone bought it a little while ago, so you were more than excited for the happy couple.
You had spent months planning the day that you’d propose. You knew that he was an idol and you knew that he probably would’ve been better off with someone else, but he chose you and that made you more than happy. 
It was hard dating an idol, but you made it work after he had announced your relationship. Fans were supportive, and if there were any haters out there, he made it known that he had no intentions of leaving you, and not only that but rubbed it in their face just how good of a partner you were.
It made you happy and full of warmth knowing that he loved you that much to just brag about you.
You had planned it out perfectly. You’d spend the morning with him getting ready for the concert, make him breakfast and help him with his hair, get a comfortable outfit situated to change into after the concert, and even packed him a bag full of snacks. 
He wanted you to be there more than anything, and from very little convincing, it worked. He definitely was surprised they gave in so soon, but he shrugged it off, they were probably tired of him asking so they just gave in. 
It was working so well, He had absolutely no clue that you would be proposing in front of a crowd, and a big one at that. Almost 50k people were going to be watching and you knew it would be viral in less than a week. 
That wasn’t your goal though, you just wanted to show Jeongin how much you loved him.
Little did you know Jeongin had the same plan. He wanted to propose in front of the big crowd, all of the members knew that both of you were proposing but no one said anything. 
You decided it would be in the middle of the concert. You already knew that Jeongin had plans to sing a song for you, so you figured that during that time you’d get ready to propose. 
You dressed in a very nice outfit, one that you had bought just for this moment. You had decided to change when he went back on after a quick outfit change, Just so he didn’t see. 
Both of you loved each other more than anything, and you often showed it more than him just because you knew he struggled with it. But behind all the cameras and doors, he was super affectionate. 
You felt a little nervous. Proposing was a big thing and if he said no you don’t know what you’d do with your life, or how things would be. Being together for 4 years felt like enough right? Meeting him when he was just a sweet little thing, empty of experiences and ready to explore it with you. 
Proposing was just one of the many things to experience, and you knew he wouldn’t expect it. Of course he always had the assumption to propose to you, but he didn’t know that you’d be beating him to it, or at least that’s what you thought.
While you listened to them sing together during Case 143, that’s when you had gotten ready. Changing into the clothes, putting the velvet box in your pocket and anxiously waiting to be handed a mic and ready to walk on stage.
“You’ll do amazing, Y/N.. He won't expect a thing I know he won't, he’s been too excited to perform to even think twice about it.” A stylus explained, gently flattening out their shirt as best as possible. 
“I hope so..” You respond nervously, then turning the mic on and then nodding at you once the song ends.
“YAH! Yang Jeongin!” You said(partially shouted) into the mic, causing him to jump. He started looking around, confused about where you were.
“Y/N? Where are you?” He said into the mic, looking at all the members who pretended to be just as confused.
“Over here!” You said once more, now arriving on stage with one of the biggest smiles on your face. Once he looked over, he smiled just as big as you did. Your heart melted before you cleared your throat.
“Hi baby!” Jeongin basically giggled out, wanting to run over but you quickly but you hand out to stop him.
“Stay there.” The crowd was just as confused as him. Stay? For what?
You looked over at the sound management and started playing ‘Marry You’ By Bruno Mars, his idol. You knew you couldn’t sing so you just let it play as you took your dear time walking towards him, of course you threw out blow kisses to him, in which he caught and blew one back. 
You basically silently flirted with him on the way over, and all the fans awed at it. 
Throughout the whole song, Jeongin sang along during bits and pieces, laughing into the mic when you did something cute. He didn’t even realize why you picked the song and it made you also giggle a little.
Once you arrived, they turned down the music, letting just the instrumental play quietly. Nervously, you lifted the mic.
“Jeongin..” You started, staring at him as his eyes held such admiration, gently taking your hand and holding it.
“I never thought that I’d find myself on a stage, standing right in front of you with about 50 thousand people watching. It sounds dramatic I know, but we both love doing things big, don’t we?” You said, laughing a little bit at the remark. His smile just grew as he nodded and listened to you.
You took a moment, almost completely forgetting your speech, “Innie I love you so much that sometimes it makes me cry.. Whenever you’re out of the country, or out of the state, and I’m left at home.. Everything reminds me of you,, I can smell your cologne in my bed sheets when I wake up in the morning, your bottles of shampoo and conditioner sitting in the shower, waiting to be used when you get home,, the food that you loved all stocked up in the freezer.. Just about everything reminds me of you and sometimes I cry from happiness knowing that this life is real, that I get to hold your hand and wake up to your face after months of not seeing you. That same smile every morning when I catch you admiring me..” You felt like you could cry, tears pricking at your eyes as you began to talk about your life with him.
He watched you with such sincerity that you’ve never felt so loved in your life, “ You are everything and more to me Jeongin, and I truly do not want to let go of what we have.” You sniffle, fans aweing at your emotional outburst. You tried blinking the tears away as best as you could.
“Is something the matter, darling? Are you okay?” He quickly asked, forgetting about everything around him and only focusing on you. You quickly nodded and wiped away any stray tears.
“Yeah I’m okay..” You didn’t care if anyone heard you exchanging words, because it was in this moment that you’d finally do what you dreamt of doing.
“Baby I love you so much.. And I know we say that a lot, but I truly love you so so much,, I could never imagine a life without you.” You spoke up again, squeezing his hand gently before you started to lower yourself.
“Y/N– Wha–”
“I want to do something that you’ll find memorable, something that you’ll tell our kids and grandkids in the future..” You let go of his hand, pulling out the velvet box with a shaky hand.
He started tearing up, the biggest smile on his face even if he tried to bite it back. 
“Jeongin, baby… Can you make me,,, Will you make me,, the happiest person alive.. And marry me?” You swallowed thickly as you stared at him. This was it. Now or never. The fans were cheering and rooting for you more than ever, and you knew that Jeongin would have to speak soon, so he let them get it out of their system.
“It’s funny that you ask that, because–” He soon gets on one knee in front of you, with a velvet box being pulled out and opened..
It was the other ring..
“I was just about to do the same thing..” He said, staring back at you as he watched you start tearing up.
The fans cheered even louder, all the members smiling from the main stage as they watched.
“Innie..” You whimpered out, setting the mic down and quickly nodding, him nodding as well as you both pulled the rings out and shakily slipped it onto each other's ring fingers. 
Staring back at each other, he pulled you into a very passionate kiss, one that you melted into immediately and stayed close to him. This truly felt like a dream, and it was one you didn’t want to leave.
Pulling away from each other, you breathed out, “Is this real?” 
“Yes, it’s so real..” Jeongin muttered back, sniffling as his eyes became glossy, tears forming once more, you starting to cry already.
You both stayed on the stage floor for a little while, crying while holding each other. 
This truly was an unforgettable moment. 
Hearing about 50 thousand people cheering for you two, the members cheering for him themselves and for you. You've never felt more loved in your life.
A moment to never forget.
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yoonieper · 1 year
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Santa Baby | JHS
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"Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight~"
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❅ Pairing: Hoseok x Reader
❅ Genre: coworkers to lovers, kinda fluffy, smut
❅ Rated: U for Unexpected
❅ Warnings: fingering, protected sex, a little spice to get your day going 😌
❅ Word Count: 3.1k
❅ Summary: A company dinner turns into a night of unexpected passion with your work friend.
❅ Thank you: Thank you to @jamaisjoons for the banner (ik you made this a year ago 😅)~
❅ Author’s Note: This was very rushed so it’s shorter than I planned, but hope y’all still enjoy (a cup of spice is always nice :’D)~ I have more Hobi fics planned so stay tuned for that~ This was actually meant to be posted last year for an event my net was hosting but y’all know me, can’t meet deadlines for shit :’)
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JHS Entertainment. You had only started working at the company earlier this year and it was the place you had dreamed of being at since you decided you wanted to go into the film industry.
The position wasn’t exactly what you pictured, you were oftentimes stuck on a computer editing rather than helping film big ideas like you had hoped. You had to make your way up the ladder in order for you to get to where you really wanted and within the months you worked at JHS you had already managed to get promoted. You knew it was going to be a long road ahead of you but you still felt proud of yourself as the end of the year rolled around.
During your time at the company you had even made a few friends. None of you had really hung out with each other outside of work, the most being anytime your department heads invited you out to dinner, or the one time a few months ago you all went on this “team-building” retreat.
You never thought you would be a big fan of those types of things, anytime in the past you’ve been dragged into those situations you wanted to be anywhere but with your coworkers after hours.
This time though, anytime you’d walk into work you had fun memories to laugh with your coworkers about because of them.
You would always laugh with Jess about that time on the retreat that Gavin drunkenly professed his love to the director by singing his heart out and spilled wine all over her expensive outfit (they’re dating now).
You would sometimes gossip with Tisha about all the countless rumors you would hear about Peter and Cassie and their supposed affair despite both of them being married after she caught them making out in the bathroom.
You had great memories working here, your boss was nice, your coworkers for the most part were amazing, you really had everything to be thankful for as the year began to close out.
Working at JHS even gave you the opportunity to meet him, Jung Hoseok, one of your best work friends. You both worked in the same department and he was hired just a few months before you. You both bonded over being the new person and that connection eventually blossomed into your friendship today.
As much as you loved your job, most of the people you worked with you could only foresee being a work friend and nothing more. Hoseok and Ruby, another coworker who was hired around the same time, were the only ones you could actually see yourself staying in touch with if you were to ever leave.
You guys had even tried to make plans outside of work occasionally but work or home duties always got in the way you would always need to cancel. You still wanted to try and make an “unofficial meeting” happen eventually.
You had your friends and your fair share of relationships with your team and you couldn’t honestly be at a happier point in your life.
It was this optimism that when your department head announced that they were hosting a “holiday” company dinner party you didn’t groan like some of your coworkers around you in the fact your time off might be interrupted for an evening. If anything you for some reason was a little excited at memorable moments that could be made at an event like this.
On the day of the dinner you spent a good amount of time getting ready. This was the first time your coworkers were going to see you dressed up and you wanted to impress.
You had bought this knee-length, tight baby blue dress. It was just the right amount of not too out there considering the occasion, and sexy with the small slit that came up your thigh and how the dress hugged your figure. The spaghetti straps and low cut of the neckline offered a little extra dash of spice to the outfit with the way it offered a tasteful amount of cleavage.
What were you hoping to accomplish wearing a dress like this to your company dinner? Absolutely nothing, you just wanted to feel good, look good, as you tried your best to enjoy yourself at the dinner party. Who knows, maybe there might be someone at this party you might catch the attention of.
You honestly didn’t think that would happen, all that might come out of a night like this would be having a little fun, taking advantage of the open bar, getting bored out of your mind, and maybe one interesting thing happens that you might still be talking about after the holidays are over. You certainly didn’t expect for the night to go the way it did.
You in fact did turn heads the minute you walked into the room, your face was burning as you saw the lingering eyes of your coworkers and the quiet whispers they probably didn’t expect for you to hear.
You thought that would be it for your moment of fame, another coworker would walk in and everyone’s eyes would be on them for the rest of the night. However, when you made it to where Ruby and Hoseok were sitting you were instantly overflowed with compliments from Ruby that had your face burning brighter than the sun and Hoseok… well, for a while your friend didn’t say a single word, as for quite some time he couldn’t stop staring at you.
You liked to think you knew your friend group well, you’ve been working together for nearly a year now, but the minute you were taken out of the work environment you saw a whole new side of Hoseok. He was your friend, yes a friend who made you gawk the first time you met him. He was handsome, kind, and was the source of joy that would get you through your workday.
He was your friend and your workplace crush— a crush you no doubt shared with a lot of your coworkers. You never considered acting on it, at least not until you felt a little more confident he felt the same way. As of now, you had no indication that he liked you, but apparently you weren’t completely off his radar like you had wondered. You managed to catch his attention and tonight was the night he wanted to let you know.
You, Hoseok, and Ruby were laughing one minute, the next thing you knew she was making up some excuse to talk with Jerry, literally the most boring guy ever (he one time talked both you and Ruby’s heads off about his excitement watching the paint dry on his fence), and that was the last you saw of your friend the entire night.
“So what now…?” You asked as you watched her scurry off.
“Mmmm, I think we can still have fun with just the two of us.” Hoseok smirked at you and you were a little taken aback by the way his voice changed. It instantly had flags going up in your mind. It had been a while since you were in this position, but for some reason you got the sense he was flirting with you.
“Oh really? What makes you think that?” You chuckled, turning your attention fully to the beautiful man in front of you.
For a little while he didn’t respond as his eyes continued to scan over your form. You were getting warmer than when you held the attention of almost everyone here.
“Y/n, I’m sorry I can’t get over this, you look absolutely amazing tonight.” He flashed you one of his signature charming smiles and suddenly you did not know how to act. It seemed your intuition was very correct.
You truly did not know your friend as well as you thought you did, because the entire night you found yourself taken aback, smitten, and blushing like a schoolgirl the minute he would just smile at you. He had turned up his flirt game all the way to a thousand.
While you undoubtedly had some type of feelings for him, you had this picture in your head that he was just the softest, most oblivious guy to the game you've ever met. At work, he can’t even take compliments without saying how amazing the entire team is. You even one time tried to shoot him a subtle flirty text to kinda see where you stood and if you had any chance whatsoever.
You [11:53pm]: Are you a triangle? Cause I think you’d be acute one ;)
Hobi <3 [8:24am] Idk, I see myself more as a oval tbh :p
To be fair that was not one of your greatest hits of all time, but that was definitely not the response you expected after spending all night tossing and turning thinking about what he might say in the morning, only to wake up to him calling himself an oval.
Since that day you never once pictured your friend being a flirt. You were definitely shocked to find out he was seemingly a very experienced flirt because this man had more game than any other guy you’ve ever talked to.
It only made you wonder, was he really as oblivious as you thought he was or…?
If you ever needed a bigger sign that your crush for your friend wasn’t as silly as you thought, Hoseok made sure to give you a bright neon one with a billion arrows pointing to the answer.
It was as if the dinner party wasn’t happening as the two of you chatted like you were on a date. The soft lighting of the candle set the mood as you both chatted away, completely ignoring your coworkers around you. It was like you were in your own little world, lost in each other’s eyes.
You both also made it to the dance floor eventually. Your arms were wrapped around his frame as you both slow danced to the soft band that was playing a jazzy rendition of Santa Baby.
To be honest, the night was a blur, everything happened so fast. One minute you both were drinking cocktails at the open bar, the next you were feeding each other pasta, dancing the night away, and way too soon for both of your likings, the dinner party was ending.
You were some of the last two people leaving.
Hoseok had draped his jacket across your shoulders as you both waited for an uber. You were smiling like an idiot because he offered to take you home and your mind was spiraling at the possibilities.
You hoped this was going the way you thought it was.
You thought briefly about the consequences of whatever was happening between you and Hoseok. Based on what you’ve heard from movies, books, along with your friends, relationships between coworkers never end well and make things extremely complicated in the workplace.
You were a little wary about pressing further, but the way he held you close as the chill November air blew over you both, and you reminisced about the night you shared, you figured you would worry about later. All you hoped was he would kiss you at least once tonight.
Once your uber pulled up, you got your answer. The minute you closed the door behind the both of you his hand was on your thigh and he kindly asked the driver to hurry.
Oh.
Suddenly you were hot all too quickly and the 15 minute ride to your place seemed like an eternity.
He didn’t make things any easier, his cool hand lightly stroked your warm thigh, inching up higher and higher as he calmly looked out the window at the city night life outside. You wanted to scream, moan, push his hand up further, but you focused on trying to stay as calm as you could until you made it to your apartment.
You felt like you were nearly about to lose your mind by the time you both were racing out the car and hurrying to the elevator.
You both hadn’t really said much to each other for a while, letting your actions speak louder than any words could but as you both made it to your front door suddenly the lingering questions needed to be answered.
You stood in front of your door and Hoseok cooly caged you into his arms, close, but not as close as you wanted him.
“I had a great time tonight~” He smiled down at you, his eyes fleeting down to your lips.
“Me too…” You wanted to say more, say how happy tonight has truly made you but the way he looked at you made anything more complex leave your brain.
“I was thinking… tonight doesn’t have to end just yet…” His voice was low and fuck, why wasn’t his lips on yours yet.
In a moment of clarity you jumped at the opportunity. You leaned forward to meet his ear.
“Only if your plans for the night end with you inside me.” It was bold and usually you were so. Hoseok’s charms were enough for you to forget all of your hot girl training.
When you pulled back you were satisfied to see a stunned look on his features before he chuckled darkly.
“Turn around, I need that door open baby.” It was a command that had you weak in the knees. You followed quickly, reaching into your little clutch for your keys.
Suddenly his hands were on your waist as he pressed himself into your ass. “That’s been my plan since you walked in.” He sighed and you felt it, just how much he wanted you.
You hastily pushed the key in the hole, turning the lock and leading the both of you inside.
Before you had time to realize what was happening, your back was against the door and his lips were on yours, so soft and so perfect as he cupped your cheek and pulled you close.
Your hands desperately came up to tug at his suit jacket, throwing it on the floor as quickly as you could before moving to pull at his tie. You both didn’t make it far, at least far enough to make it to your room. You both ended up leaving a trail of your clothes that led straight to your couch.
You hastily climbed on his lap, the moment of separation unbearable as you quickly went back to meet his lips. You relished in the moan he let out as you ground your hips down, eagerly searching for some type of friction.
You felt Hoseok’s hands run up your thighs before settling on your hips and he started lightly tugging on your panties. You were taken aback when you felt his hand slip past the fabric and started rubbing circles over your clit.
Your body instantly reacted, breaking the kiss, as you stared at him with pleading eyes.
“Fuck— Hoseok, please…” You sighed enjoying the pleasure his fingers were bringing you but you wanted more. It was only the minute his hands made it onto your skin did you realize how long it’s been since someone has touched you like this.
“Shit, you’re so wet already…” He marveled as he ran his fingers through your slick folds.
“Do you think you can take me now?” He asked, just as impatient as you were.
When he got here he thought he was going to be able to absolutely worship your body, but the minute his lips were on yours, suddenly all he could think about was how soon he could get his cock inside you.
You nodded but almost screamed when his fingers slipped inside.
“No teasing please, I need you n—“ You pleaded.
You felt so good around his fingers, he couldn’t wait any longer to finally feel you.
“Can you grab my wallet out of my pants? I have condoms in there…” He looked over where you had nearly torn them off trying to get them off of him.
You hurriedly did as he asked, finding his wallet thankfully quite quickly before you were back on his lap and handing it to him. It only took a second for him to find it and get it on, but that second felt like an entirety to you before you happily sank down onto him.
You both moaned together at the feeling. You kissed him hurriedly as you took a second to adjust. Your hands racked over his back, that pesky dress shirt in the way of feeling him completely, and into his dark brown hair.
“Please baby…” He moaned, begging for you to move.
You didn’t need him to tell you twice and you slowly started moving your hips to a steady rhythm that quickly had you throwing your head back.
“Shit, you feel so good.” Hoseok groaned, slapping your ass lightly.
Who knew this day would turn out to be this way? From a friend you had yet to meet outside of work to suddenly having his cock sending you to a new dimension. It was a great turn of events for you.
You only hoped that this wouldn’t be the end, that he might stay the night even, that he might ask you out on a date later. For now though you were happy with this, so so happy.
Before you knew it he was spilling inside you and he used his fingers to quickly push you over the edge as well.
You both were out of breath, your thighs burned but you couldn’t stop smiling down at him.
He sweetly kissed your nose before pecking your lips once more.
“So, what does this mean for us?” You asked curiously.
“That I have to see you again outside of work, and this time not at a company dinner.” He laughed and you joined in, your heart welling with joy.
“Only if that means we get to do this all over again.” You smirked.
He thought about it for a moment. “I think I can work that into our plans.”
“I’m excited~” You smiled.
“Mhmmm, but first you have to tell me where your room is so we can do this properly.” He chuckled.
Oh.
You pointed to the door that you were facing and before you even realized you were squealing as he picked up and carried off for even more fun.
You really didn’t know your friend it seems, but you were excited to see him in this new light. Who knows what else he might be hiding?
186 notes · View notes
itadore-you · 1 year
Text
‘’she says she can sing, but i wanna hear her scream’’
w/c: 1.8k
summary: aged up!eijiro kirishima x fem!reader, no quirks/uni au. happy halloween, and happy birthday to my favourite redhead!
t/w’s: mdni!!! implied smut, alcohol/drinking, general party atmosphere. not necessarily explicit but still ( -_-)
‿෴🦇෴‿ ‿෴🦇෴‿ ‿෴🦇෴‿ ‿෴🦇෴‿ ‿෴🦇෴‿ 
Kirishima Eijiro would never have guessed when he woke up this morning, that he’d be here. It’s gone past 11 P.M, as he leans against Mina’s kitchen counter in his knight costume with a half-full, red plastic cup. Really, it’s just the same red cape from last year’s when he matched Bakugo’s wolf costume as a spin off of Red Riding Hood, but no one was going to know if he didn’t say, of course. It’s a Halloween/ birthday party, hosted by his closest friends but an event he was only aware of several hours ago (thanks to Denki and Sero having remembered planning their parts of the event aside from inviting the main guest of honor). To be fair to them, it was supposed to be a surprise party, but the reason why Bakugo had spent half an hour yelling at them on loudspeaker was for not even confirming with Kirishima that he would be able to come to his own party. 
After all, these first few weeks settling in at uni have been a whirlwind for everyone - Kirishima himself was swamped with work on his own birthday. Just from observing him rampantly typing up last minute assignments and constantly massaging his temples, his friends knew he was in stressed mode and also wouldn’t be in the best party mood so they had decided to change the date. Despite the halloween theme, it couldn’t take place on Halloween either as every single member of the friend group had some event or the other which kept them booked and busy. So here they were, in a fusion of the two dates, all available to finally have a good time together.
“Ahh, can’t even remember the last time we all let loose like this,” Kaminari sighs, slinging an arm around Kirishima’s shoulder. “Happy, uh, late birthday, man!”
“Fresher’s was only a month ago, Denks,” Sero chimes in. “You drunk so much to forget already?”
“Hey, time passes fast, Hanta!”
“Makes sense why you fuckwits could barely remember what day it even is.”
“Bakugo! I swear, we will never forget to tell Kiri stuff again! It was one time, gimme a break!”
Kirishima lets out a laugh, reassuring the two that they were forgiven, with Bakugo simultaneously making a face at them to suggest that they were most definitely not forgiven. The pair cower from the sight of his (fake) sharp canines gnashing at them, his scary werewolf guise seeming a bit too fitting for him. They could already see the moon outside of the window, and wouldn’t doubt if it wasn’t a coincidence.
“Glad that you did make it though, Kiri,” Denki sighs with relief. “It was so difficult getting everyone together.”
“It was one simple job, Dunce face!”
“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, again,” and Kaminari leans to Sero’s ear, his words of ‘hoes mad’ concealed from Bakugo’s glare with a raised hand. 
“Guys! I’ve gone around and I think practically everyone is here!” Mina emerges from the doorway, announcing to the group whilst clad in a witchy entchantress costume. “Total success!”
Affirming her words with cheers, they all raise their drinks in her honour as she grabs one from the table to also partake in the acclamation.
“There are just two more coming - I think it’s Jirou and y/n, then that’s it!”
Y/n. Kirishima almost chokes on his drink; it’s the cute girl from Fresher’s week. Realistically, he already knew of you from before then, as you knew Mina from a separate circle of friends that Kirishima didn’t often interact with. He had only met you in person a couple of times albeit not for long enough to properly get to know you until that fateful week about a month ago. Having been sat next to each other during the induction lecture, you seemed to take interest in one another quite quickly, making eye contact across the room when you did similar activities. The business of uni life meant that you hadn’t properly been able to meet up for a while though, and Kirishima had never worked up the courage to ask Mina for your number.
“Aww, look at Kirishima getting all excited about his lil’ crush,” Kaminari teased, then being elbowed sharply by Mina - “Ouch!”
“Oh my god, I literally told you to not tease him about it. Don’t make it awkward for him!”
Kirishima already found himself blushing crimson as they bickered, hoping that Mina hadn’t let you know too, after having caught onto his feelings without his knowledge. She was always secretly perceptive like that, when one least expected it. 
“Kiri, don’t worry, I only told these guys so they’d know to let you get some time with her tonight. Don’t let Sero somehow bag her before you do.” 
With that, Mina turns her attention to Tsuyu, who tapped her on the shoulder, asking which of the three bowls of punch tasted best. She confidently points to the one in the middle, explaining to her that she was the one who had made it, so next to Denki’s and Sero’s concoctions, it was certainly the best choice to make.
“Let’s move from here for now, guys, Denki’s fuckin’ gatekeeping everyone from all the drinks,” Bakugo urges, ushering them into the living room. He seems to be making some sort of secret indication that Kirishima can’t work out, with the movement of his eyes around the room. Sero also seems to have caught on, making a nod as he steers off with the other blond to suddenly start talking with Midoriya and Todoroki from across the room: “Nice costumes, guys! Denki and I just decided on matching Squid Game costumes this year, even though it’s a bit of an old trend.”
“Bakubro? You goin’ somewhere too, or...?” Kirishima calls out to his best friend, who tells him ‘he’ll be back in a bit.’ It’s very puzzling for Kirishima, the sudden dissipation of his group until he hears-
“Kiri? That’s you, right?”
What. The fuck. You’re here. Cute girl. Right next to him. Right next to him, just like that very first lecture. His thoughts can barely spell out a reply to you in his flustered state, so he settles for a quick nod. 
“Phew! It’s a bit hard to see, since it’s so dim in here, but I could recognise your red hair anywhere!” A laugh sounds from you, pure and full of delight, as you seat yourself onto the couch, beside him. He should calm down, really, it’s a bit embarrassing how startled he got when he’s seen you before. But he couldn’t help it, you look so striking in the hazy LEDs adorning the room.
With your semi-realistic fluffy wings strapped to your back, you look angelic swathed in cascades of light mesh but also beautifully oceanid, with patterned scales running up your cheekbones, neck, and forearms. 
‘I like what you’re wearing, y/n.’
‘I can tell from the way you keep looking at me, Kiri,’ you coo at him, coquettish in your gaze as you look up at him through your eyelashes. ‘Is it okay that I call you that?’, and he’s already saying yes by the time you finish your sentence. He really likes, no, loves how you say his name, you’ve made it yours with the playful lilt in your voice and the purposeful sounding out of each syllable that rolls off your tongue. It makes him tense his thigh muscles, and bite the inside of his cheek. If that’s what only a nickname does to him, he could hardly imagine what would happen to him whenever you would decide to call him by his first name.
‘Do you know what I’ve dressed up as, though?’
‘Why you askin’? Want me to guess, huh?’ 
‘Maybe you’ll be the lucky one to get it right. No one has gotten it yet.’
‘Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t think I will. Just know you look real pretty in it,’ he confesses. A key part of Eijiro Kirishima’s charm has always been his gift for flattery.
‘I’m a siren tonight.’ 
‘Oh!,’ - his eyebrows perking up - ‘I thought they were more like mermaids, but I like your spin on it!’
‘Thank you. You know, you’re not necessarily wrong, Kiri. In the original Greek tale, they were given the wings to help the goddess Demeter look for her abducted daughter, but after failing their mission, cursed by the very same Demeter,’ you explain as he nods in interest. ‘It’s from the Roman period that they were shown to have mermaid tails.’
‘Ahhh I get it now,’ he remarks, snapping his fingers in realization. ‘I’m not gonna lie, I thought you were an angel when I first saw you walking in.’
‘Mhm. I’ve heard that one a lot, along with ‘shiny eczema’.’
He laughs at that, adding: ‘Bet you’ve also got the whole ‘did you fall from heaven’ thing too.’
Both chuckling, you lean closer toward each other, now fully engaged in conversation as a rhythmic R’n’B  continues to sound from the speaker nestled behind the sofa, the volume gradually increased by Kaminari as he walks past with his Bluetooth-connected phone in hand. All night his friends have been walking up and down, checking up on the two of you from time to time and discreetly grinning to one another that all has been going to plan.
‘You havin’ a good time, Kiri?’ Kaminari shouts over the music, and the redhead yells back, ‘Yeh man! Great music, keep it going!’.
Kaminari throws him a quick thumbs up as he bustles to the next room, yelling out ‘Who wants more shotsssss?’, followed by a chorus of ‘Fuck yes!’ from a small crowd that follows him, yielding empty cups in his wake.  
‘You think Jirou somehow possessed Denki’s taste in music?’
‘Most definitely - maybe she’s even dressed up as him tonight.’
Kirishima chuckles. ‘Wouldn’t have noticed. I’ve been only looking at you this whole time, can’t lie.’ 
‘You’re lucky I’m not my costume from last year.’
‘And why’s that?’
‘Well, I’ve been looking at you a lot this entire time too. And last year, I was Medusa.’
Laughing again with each other, it’s like the chemistry between you has heightened to a point that neither of you can ignore anymore.
‘The music is loud in here.’
Nodding your head to agree, you take hold of Eijiro’s hand, pulling him from the couch. 
‘Wha-?’
‘Were you hinting we get out of here or what? I wouldn’t mind getting to know you… even more.’
A fiendish grin lights up your face, full of mischief as the soft purple from the lights above highlight a sense of desire from within. Eijiro Kirishima is a natural flirt who unbelievably doesn't know when he is doing it; but he sure can tell where you’re going with this act, and it’s not something innocent. But he’s all for it, already imagining how nice your thighs would feel wrapped around his waist. 
‘Take me wherever you want, then. Without all the loud music, I wanna hear how good I can make my siren sing.’
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eurydicesflower · 5 months
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From the Start (zoro/robin)
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Pairing: Nico Robin/Roronoa Zoro Tags: Modern Setting, Light Angst Warnings: None Word Count: 2.4 k Summary: A flight to Logue Town that will reconnect two long-time friends, and a song that will rekindle the old flame. A/N: light angst for angstober 2023 (no particular prompt, but this draft has been up since last year so i decided to finish this one) Also posted on: Archive of Our Own
“This is an announcement for passengers on flight N1127 to LogueTown. The flight has been delayed due to bad weather conditions… We are sorry for the inconvenience.”
The flight announcement has been repeated so many times now. Of course, it will be so tiring to hear it when you were supposed to be arriving the next day to visit your close friend in Cocoyashi.
Robin: im sorry, nami might arrive a day late : ((
Nami: don’t worry, it’s fine!!! at least we know that you’re going to make it :D loveyewww &lt;3
Honestly, this delayed flight should have been making her insane right now, but when she received the text from Nami, her mood shifted. Her reassuring text had earned a small smile on Robin’s face. Taking a deep breath, she whipped out her phone and read the manuscript Koala sent to her. Just a little peak. There shouldn’t be any work-related things hindering her vacation, but it wouldn’t hurt to check some edits here and there.
“Is this seat taken?”
Robin didn’t mind looking up, “No, no, it’s fine,” before she started reading one of the lines from the manuscript. A minute later, she just realized who that was. She recognized who that voice belonged to.
“Zoro?” She never meant to mumble it out loud, and it seems the man had heard her.
“Oh. I didn’t recognize that it was you.”
It was a lie. She knew he was lying.
“Yeah, me, too! Are you also going to Nami—? Wait, you don’t have to tell me. Of course, you’ll be going there, too. How long has it been, two years?” She joked, which made Zoro chuckle for a bit. She still likes hearing him chuckle. 
“Hey, it might feel like two years, but it’s only been a year since you left. By the way, how are you? Nami told me that you’re already working at the National Archive Museum in Ohara like you always wanted. Is it true?”
He remembered. Of course, why would he not know that? They had been friends for so long. Besides, Zoro has always been a supportive friend, and Robin always appreciates what he has done for her even the smallest things.
She smirked at him lightly. “I’ve been well… And yes; it’s also been a year since…”
“The day you left.” He completed her sentence before an awkward silence filled in the gap of their conversation. Robin didn’t know what to say, andso did he.
“Well, surprise, I’m back.” She chuckled, breaking the silence. “Did you miss me?” She teased.
“I would be lying if I said that I didn’t miss you.”
“Hah. Stop it…” He was a madman.
There goes him, giving her mixed signals and that signature smirk of his. That’s one of the worst things about having Zoro as one of your close friends. She hates it when he is unpredictable. And most probably, that's one of the reasons she likes him, thinking that their dynamic fits the same wavelength, which eventually causes her to fall for him for about four years.
“How’s your girlfriend?” She changed her subject.
“Oh… We ended our relationship before our first anniversary six months ago…”
“Oh. Oh… Sorry about that.” Robin didn’t know that bit of his relationship. How come she does not know—? ‘Oh, never mind,’ she thought. Once again, their conversation came to halt, and Robin went on reading the manuscript on her phone before she switched on another app on her phone to scroll mindlessly and watch silly contents.
“Did you really mean it?” Zoro broke the silence.
“What?”
“That night.”
“Zoro, I didn’t remember—”
He then showed a video of her singing at the karaoke during her despedida party. At first, she didn’t know what he meant, but slowly, the realization sank in when she sang the last words of the song, extending her hand, and pointing vaguely at someone in the audience.
“I think I was drunk that time.” She lied.
He scoffed, not actually believing her word.
“What?”
“You had a flight the next day but I know you’re not a lightweight drinker—”
“And so? I am just singing a silly little song about unrequited love, so?”
 He was about to counter what she said. “Never mind, forget about it.”
“So, why are you bringing this up right now after a year?” Robin questioned him. 
Not that she was bitter last year (she was); she blocked him from all of her social media accounts that she could think of. She hadn’t heard him for so long, and then he just shows up like nothing happened? Wow, that was just so uncool of Zoro, to be honest.
“Maybe it just took me so long to realize..." He stared at his feet, avoiding Robin’s gaze.
“Why now?” she asked before he could even complete his sentence. 
Despite the loudness sinking in, another silence wraps them away from the noise of the airport. Robin didn’t want to hear what he was about to say next. She wanted to cover her ears. Not that she was waiting to hear him say those words out loud, but… why now?
///
Every moment in our lives comes into bits and pieces, whether you want to keep them or not. For Robin, seeing her friends for the last time at Baratie’s before her flight the next day would be one of her best and saddest decisions in life. Spending every moment to the fullest, she never knows when she will experience this once again.  
“Robin!!! We’re going to miss you.” Nami pulled Robin into the tightest hug. “Who’s going to come with me when I go shopping?”
“You can take Sanji with you during your shopping sprees," Robin joked, and Nami glared at her playfully. “Okay. Okay, and maybe next time when I get back.”
“And what if that will take more than two years? Or worse, ten years…”  
“Don’t worry, I promise I will be back next year.”
“You promise that. I believe your word, Robin.”
“And so Mosshead decided to show up late when Robin-chwan is already here! Why are you fucking late—?" Sanji shouted at the back when someone had arrived.
“Sorry, we’re late.”
“Who’s we?” Sanji quipped before he was visibly stunned along with his friends when Zoro was with a turquoise-haired woman.
“Everyone, this is Hiyori, my girlfriend.”
Half of his friends were surprised, and half of them were bewildered, when Zoro just nonchalantly announced having a girlfriend. Robin, on the other hand, didn’t know what to feel. She should have been happy for him. She was his friend, of course. But the more that she stares at their happy couple faces, Robin would rather get drunk than stay miserable.
“Wow, I never thought," Sanji murmured. “How long have you been together?”
“A month.”  
“A month? And you kept this from us?”
“I just wanted to introduce her to you guys and to Robin as well.” Zoro smiled and introduced his ‘girlfriend’ to all of their friends. The woman smiled sheepishly at them while holding Zoro’s hand.
 “Girl, are you okay?” Nami shared a concerning look at Robin.
“Don’t you just think I should have scheduled my flight a little bit earlier, so I couldn’t see this?”
Robin would be lying to herself if she said there was no jealousy bubbling up inside her guts. She couldn’t even handle looking at the couple. Nami was the only one who knew of her secret. It’s been more than one year— no, three years— she concealed what she felt for Zoro. And the moment when she wanted to tell him,  maybe she should just forget it. She’ll be living away from them anyway,so it wouldn’t even matter in the end.
“Robin, it’s not your fault.” Nami held her hand and squeezed it. “We didn’t even know that he would be hard-launching his ‘girlfriend’ tonight. And this is also the first time he mentioned this to us? Like, why now?”
"Just... let’s just don’t think about that. And just enjoy the night.”
And so they did. 
Her friends had prepared a night to remember, not a night to resent. She wouldn’t let her friends’ efforts go to waste just because of one minor inconvenience; she would make this night hers. The night went on, and everything was smooth sailing. Robin almost forgot what had made her mood shift for a little bit. Thanks to her friends, Robin never felt the sinking feeling—or, that’s what she thought—until Brook asked who was next in line for the karaoke machine, which was Robin’s song. 
“Whose song is this? From the Start by Laufey?”
Robin stood up and grabbed the mic from Brook. 
The modern bossa nova song opened with a summery guitar strum, and Robin danced with a cute sway of her hips to match the beat of the song's intro, which earned cheers from her friends. 
“Don't you notice how I get quiet when there's no one else around?” Robin spared a glance at the man she had fallen for.
She couldn’t quite imagine that she would actually relate to this song after listening to it for, like, weeks now. As she sang the first lines of the lyrics, she imagined that she was the person in the song. When her gaze landed on them, she could see the crease in Zoro’s eyes when he looked at her. The burning pain that she wanted to erase just by seeing Zoro and his girlfriend doing the lovey-dovey gestures that couples do. 
“Oh, how I wish you'll wake up one day, run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say…”
For some reason, Cupid shot an arrow into her heart for someone who would never feel the same way as hers. And of course, Robin had a high sense of pride; she would never confess what she really felt towards him. She’d rather let whatever she was feeling wither and wilt rather than actually say what she really feels— except there was a screaming little voice from the back of her head that she wanted to confess tonight, and confess, ‘I loved you from the start.’
She had been thinking about confessing ever since, but for some reason, there was an invisible force that held her lips and mind, reeling her not to. And to think that it has been going on for about two years now— how could she even bottle all this up? Direct and honest Robin was being held back from confessing to her long-time friend. 
How could she not say it directly when she was one of the most outspoken people among their friends? 
Even the smartest people had a hard time predicting love because, at the end of the day, it was not as easy as analyzing them. Be surprised at the unexpected, and that’s what Robin felt.
“Have to get this off my chest; I'm telling you today…”
When Nami first introduced her to her friends, she was intrigued by him rather than falling in love with him at first sight. Aside from Luffy, who was the most enthusiastic to befriend her during her college years, Zoro was the next one who caught her attention. She thought this was just admiration, but the next thing she knew, this once petty feeling building up inside her chest had built up into the history of genuinely liking someone. She tried to erase him from her mind, but the more she tried, the harder it was for her to move on. However, that night, she found a solution: vaguely confess with a song, then pretend and forget like nothing happened.
“I know I’ve loved you from the start.” She ended her mini-performance by extending her hand, vaguely pointed at the audience. ///
“I talked through Nami about this a month ago, and I really wanted to see you, so...”
“Zoro, just tell me already and—”
“I actually liked you before, Robin.”
Robin stared at him for a moment, so speechless that she couldn’t move her lips to respond with a witty reply.
Between her and Zoro, Robin was the most direct between them. She was brutally honest, and she was flawlessly fluent in any spoken word. But as soon as she heard what Zoro had said that evening, she knew that night was full of surprises. First, her flight to Cocoyashi was delayed; second, Zoro showed up beside her, boarding the same delayed flight; and third, his confession? What is happening? She even pinched herself to make sure tonight was real. Any moment now, she should be waking up. But she didn’t. This was real. It was happening in real time.
“What did you just say?” Deep breaths— inhaling and exhaling thoroughly, processing through what Zoro had just said. Even if she wanted to hear this for a long time, the crippling doubt creeped in. “Did you just mean to tell me this? Wait— Ah, ah.” She raised her pointing finger mid-air, stopping him for what he was about to say. “What do you mean before?”
“I liked you, Robin.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” She laughed airily and couldn’t believe what she was hearing at that moment. “How come you didn’t tell me?”
“I thought you didn’t like me before, but not until I rewatched the vid Nami sent the other day.”
That’s it? Robin belted out the loudest laugh that night. Some people beside them started to look at her as if she were crazy. All this time, when she thought he was the one who didn’t like her, she learned this almost the same day she confessed to him. Was the universe playing a joke on her?
“Why are you laughing? Did I say something funny?” He stared at her; brows furrowed in confusion.
“I hate you,” she quipped teasingly with a small smirk on her lips. “And now, you’re meeting me here at the airport, so you could tell that?”
“That’s not what I meant to say…”
“Just tell me already, Zoro so I know—”
“Do you think if we’ve been together, we would make everything work out?”
Once again, Robin was left speechless. 
"Zoro, I don’t really know what to say, but… if I say that, let’s talk about this when we get to East Blue. Will you wait?”
“I’ll be waiting.” He smiled at her, never leaving her side. 
Robin knew to herself that Zoro was not the romantic type. Yet, there were moments that she would be blown away, and if their friends heard what he had just said, all of them would not believe that the Roronoa Zoro possesses at least a bit of a romantic side in his veins. 
And will Robin say ‘yes’ to Zoro’s question? That’s for her future self in three days to decide, even though she already knew the answer.
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beetlebelly · 4 months
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Big Anthony
A stuffing/belly kink retelling of Strega Nona! cw: stuffing, burst mention, weight gain, nsft, feat. Strega Nona as a MILF and Anthony as a transman
"In a town in Calabria, a long time ago, there lived a lady called Strega Nona..."
Nona was a beautiful woman; she had a plump, ample figure, long, silver hair, and deep dark eyes. Her great height and immaculate posture and grace were complemented well by her luscious gowns of purple and black.
She was a mysterious person who lived in the corner of town in her eccentric hut. She was well feared, and for good reason--her magic was the real deal, and it was very dangerous to cross her. But if you were polite and submissive, she would grant you anything your heart could desire.
She could cure headaches or any other petty ailment with her herbs and tonics. She could make potions to aid the girls in search of wives and the boys in search of husbands. In short, she could grant any request with little more than a flick of her wrist.
Many feared Nona, and many loved her; most did both. Anthony was one such person who fell in the third category. He was a short, trim young man, his round face framed by long straw hair. He'd visited Nona on many occasions to receive her gender transition spells, and he was enthralled by her magic powers--and her beautiful body.
Having first-hand experience with her spells, Anthony was quick to apply as her helper when he heard that Nona was looking for an extra pair of hands. He was a little foolish and rash, but Nona saw potential in him. She took him on to do chores around her hut, and in turn she'd feed and house him.
Anthony began his chores clumsily. But he quickly picked up steam, confidently and efficiently sweeping, dusting, tending Nona's goat, and beating the rugs. One evening when Anthony was milking the goat, he heard Nona singing. Peeking in the window, he saw Nona standing over her pasta pot.
She sang: "Bubble, bubble, pasta pot. Boil me up some pasta, nice and hot. I'm hungry and it's time to sup. Boil enough pasta to fill me up."
At her last word, the pot immediately started boiling and fresh, thick strands of spaghetti came rising up to the top of the pot. Just before it boiled over, Nona ended the spell:
"Enough, enough, pasta pot, I have my pasta, nice and hot. So simmer down my pot of clay until I'm hungry another day."
Anthony was delighted at what he saw. The pot ceased filling, and all that was left was a large bowl of pasta, ready to eat. Not wanting to be caught spying, he went on his way to continue his chores. He left before seeing Nona complete the ending spell by giving three kisses to the magic pasta pot.
After a few months, Anthony had settled into a routine with Nona. She had grown to enjoy his company, and she trusted him well enough. Dinner was always pasta from her magical pot, and despite being the same spaghetti every time, Anthony never got sick of it. It tasted so rich and fresh that it was impossible to even imagine turning down. He often found himself taking second and even third helpings.
It didn't take long for Anthony to see how Nona kept such a plump figure, and it took only a bit longer before he began seeing the changes on himself. It was rich, decadent pasta, and he could hardly say he held back in his portions. The first change he noticed was his hips beginning to spill over his waistband. Soon after, he noticed his face filling out; his lips plumping up. A small potbelly swelled out in front of him. No big deal, Anthony shrugged.
One day, Nona announced she would be going on a trip to see her friend in the next town over. She told Anthony she'd be gone all day, and that she'd left him some bread and cheese for dinner. "Remember," she said as she stepped out the door. "Don't touch the pasta pot."
"Oh yes--yes, Nona," said Anthony, blushing. He did mean it, honest. But even at that moment, he was beginning to crave that sweet, rich pasta. His stomach growled.
"Hush, you," he muttered, and went to milk the goat. He helped himself to a few mouthfuls to curb his hunger. It wasn't enough, and soon his mind wandered back to the pasta pot. He rubbed his belly absentmindedly as he continued his chores.
By the time dinner rolled around, he was unable to think of anything else but the pasta. He ate the crusty bread and goat cheese Nona set aside for him, but it was utterly unsatisfying. He broke into the pantry for more bread, more cheese, helping himself to more and more. Before long, his stomach was comfortably full. But it didn't matter--his mind was still unsatisfied. He still craved the pasta.
He couldn't take it any longer. "Well, I know the words, don't I?" Anthony said to himself, making up his mind.
He practically ran to the pot, and cleared his throat before speaking the magic words that he'd heard Nona use before. Without waiting for the pasta to even reach the top, he started scooping mouthfuls with his fork. He ate it as rapidly as it filled, practically moaning as the buttery fresh pasta hit his tongue with each bite. How horrible, to imagine a day without it!
Anthony was in a trance, simply eating and eating and eating, unnoticing his stomach as it expanded and sent full signals to his brain. He burped and belched and groaned through mouthfuls of the golden pasta. But finally, as his belly swelled, packed full of the heavy food, he felt sated. After all, his pants were so tight that there was no room left to eat.
"UUUUUOORP!" he belched, setting his fork down. He put a hand on his bloated belly and leaned back. "That was...amazing," he said, feeling sleepy and far over-full. But very pleased with himself.
He waved his hand lazily to the pot and spoke the closing spell to end the continuous flow of pasta:
"Enough, enough, pasta pot, I have my pasta, nice and hot. So simmer down my pot of clay until I'm hungry another day."
He waited a moment, but the pasta did not--it continued to grow out of the pot, and began spilling onto the floor.
Anthony felt a twinge of panic, and said the words again, careful to make sure he said every word right. No change. He grabbed the pot's lid and tried to shove it down over the pasta. It quickly boiled up and over the lid. He said the words again, fast and frantic. But without its three kisses, the magic pot would never stop.
Before long, Nona's hut was flooded with pasta. Anthony was doing everything he could to put it away--in the pantry; in pots. He even gave some to the goat. But he simply could not deal with the limitless flow of spaghetti. To make matters worse, his overstuffed belly was making him sluggish and he had to waddle if he wanted to move quickly. His stomach cramped angrily at all the movement.
Just as the pasta began spilling through the front door, Nona arrived home, late into the night. She walked past the helpless, bloated man without a word, making straight for the magic pot. She practically swam through the pasta to get there. But eventually she made it, kissed the pot three times, and the pasta immediately stopped growing.
Nona made her way back to Anthony. He looked utterly miserable. She looked down at him, a small smile on her face. "Someone was hungry for pasta, hmm?"
Anthony nodded, and the movement jostled a small burp out his mouth: "houurrp."
"Someone was messing with things beyond their understanding, hmmm?" She put her hands on her hips and bent over him, her ample chest in his face.
Anthony blushed.
"Well, Nona's here now." She stood there, gazing thoughtfully at Anthony. Suddenly, her smile grew wider. "Nona knows just what to do to take care of this small problem."
Nona held out a hand and helped Anthony up. He moaned as he stood, his bloated stomach only causing more distress after the pasta had settled like a massive stone in his gut.
"Aw, does it hurt?" Nona asked. Anthony was taken aback--she was clearly mocking him, in a playful, almost flirtatious way that she'd never done before. She was always relatively aloof, sometimes bordering on cold. This was unfamiliar. It made him blush harder.
Nona put both her hands on his belly, making him jump. She leaned in, her face right next to his. Her eyes lit up. "Then you're really not gonna like what you have to do next."
Before Anthony had time to respond, Nona closed the space between them and kissed him, her plump lips on his. Anthony's whole body lit up, warm. It wasn't just his attraction to her, though they certainly helped--no, there was some magic there, too. The warmth flowed down to his engorged stomach, and the tightness eased noticeably. He was still swollen and full, but his skin no longer felt like tearing.
"That's a little gift from me," Nona said as she pulled back. She wiped a bit of spit from the corner of her lips with the tip of two fingers. "It'll help you make space for everything."
Anthony couldn't catch up. His mind was reeling from the kiss and he simply couldn't figure out how to respond. "...Thanks," he finally managed.
"Now--" Nona raised her arms and clapped, and Anthony tried to jump to attention. "Eat up!"
Anthony looked at the hut literally packed with pasta. He was sure he was misunderstanding.
"Well, we can't have all this fresh pasta going to waste, can we?" Nona asked, reading his face plainly. "I can't bear to see good food thrown out. And I want it gone by sunrise. Which is...three hours away."
"I'll help you get started," Nona said, and a fork appeared in her hand. She swirled a huge mouthful of spaghetti straight off the ground and popped it into Anthony's mouth before he could even try to resist. He was full, overfull, but he was surprised to still have every desire to eat the decadent spaghetti in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and found himself reaching for more.
Nona offered him the fork, but he knocked it away with a sudden eagerness. Instead, he grabbed the pasta in his fists with both hands and shoveled it into his mouth, hand after hand after hand. Even Nona was shocked by how forcefully and quick he was putting it away.
His stomach bulged out in front of him, rapidly swelling larger and larger as he plowed forward through the pasta. It ached and churned, but the spell was strong enough that he was able to push through the pain and keep going.
He made it through half the hut, his belly utterly gorged, rounding out in front of him huge and tight. The spell allowed him to fit more into less space, but even still, his fat gut was comically large protruding in front of him, as though he were nine months pregnant. He'd long since had to shed the restrictive waistband of his pants, and now his shirt was riding up so high that he had to do away with it, too. With nothing left but his underwear, straining against both his balloon gut and his engorged tdick, he kept plowing through.
Each bite was interrupted by a heavy belch, and he frequently had to pause to gulp down some water, which Nona happily supplied. She watched on with glee, obviously not too put out over Anthony's overstepping.
Anthony kept going. It hurt. It hurt like hell. He'd never eaten so much before, of course, and he'd never felt so tight in all his life. He was literally impossibly full--the food was compacting itself so tight thanks to Nona's magic, but it was still in him. He groaned at the thought of it.
"mmmmMMOUOURRRRPPPP!!" A huge burp came out with the moan.
Nona gazed at him and his overtaxed belly (overtaxed was an understatement). Worried he wouldn't be up to the full task, she called out "If you finish this all, I have a little surprise in store for you. A little...one-on-one time."
Anthony gulped and flushed, a waved of horniness coursing through him, past his balloon gut and into his already swollen cock. He'd slowed down on the eating, but that was all it took--he picked up the pace, suddenly chowing down even faster than he'd started. He forewent chewing, simply putting his face to the pile of spaghetti and slurping it straight down. He grunted and groaned and moaned, feeling tighter and tighter by the second. Despite the spell, he felt certain he'd burst at any moment. He was so absurdly engorged. No human could withstand this, surely.
He focused his attentions on Nona's beautiful body, and the decadent taste of the spaghetti. It was still delicious and he still craved more and more. No amount of pain could make him not want to be more tight, more full, more fat, more. He ate, and ate, and ate. His gut grew, and grew, and grew. Bite after bite, he moaned and groaned and expanded out further and further. And then, without warning, he hit his nose gently into the wall--the wall on the other end of the hut. He'd swallowed the last bite. He was done. And not a moment too soon--the sun was just cresting the horizon.
Anthony rolled back onto his ass, moaning and burping almost without any pause, and Nona took in the results. He was massive. The thought of a full-term octuplets pegnancy came to mind. His belly was red and heaved up and down with every labored breath. He was sweating all over, and he was still extremely hard and wet.
He had to spread his legs just to accommodate the full ball in front of him. Nona came up in front of him and put her hands on his belly once again, pushing a little. A massive belch: hhhhhhUUUUOOOOOOOOORPPGHHH erupted out of him, followed by a string of smaller burps, and his face went an even darker shade of red. He moaned loudly as Nona trailed her fingers down his happy trail, now widely spread out across his expanded skin.
She placed her lips on his lower belly, hot to her touch. "Oh," Anthony huffed. "Ohhhh, ohhhhhhhh," he moaned as she trailed her tongue down to his underwear. She tugged it down with one finger, and made contact.
"FucuuuUOUUUUUUUUURPRPPPPP!!!" he half moaned, half belched. His belly lurched and heaved as unbelievable pleasure coursed through his body. He came hard, almost immediately, and harder than he'd ever done before. "FUCK," he wheezed, falling back onto the floor. His belly bounced in front of him, sticking straight into the air, practically crushing his lungs. "FUCK."
Nona laid down on her back beside him, smiling. They stared at the ceiling together for a time. Then, Nona turned her head to face the massively expanded man beside her. A pillow appeared in her hand, and she gently tucked it under Anthony's head. "Now...time to sleep."
She rose easily to her feet, and began walking away. Before she left, she turned back again. "In the morning, you'll have digested that all. The spell will help with that, too. All those calories just waiting to be put to use." She smiled. "And then you'll be my dear sweet Big Anthony."
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deliwrites · 1 year
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ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫𝕚𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 // Dream
// DATE // 26th of November 2022 // PAIRING // Dreamwastaken x fem!reader // WARNING // angst, heartbreak, fluff, alcohol, song-based, happy ending, just in case a trigger warning; Techno is in this // WORDS // 6,6k+ // SUMMARY // a year ago Dream broke up with you. He never told you why. It hurt you so much. You weren't sure how to handle it. So with the help of Wil, you write a song about it. You wrote it to get over him, but what if he wants to try again?
Author note: This was meant for a book, that is not fan fiction. But I wasn't sure how to make it into a "normal" book. So now it's for you guys to enjoy.
 // MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //
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Wilbur started his stream like usual. I sat near, just out of sight of the camera. My leg bounced up and down. I was so nervous. Wil had been announcing a new song being released today, for the past month. What fans didn't know was who the song was with. It was going to stay that way as far as real names go.
"Okay! So chat!" Wil starts, glancing over at me for a second. "As you can probably tell, I am somewhere unfamiliar to you guys," he paused, gesturing all around him. Looking at chat, he read as many of the guesses from the thousands of viewers as he could. "You're all wrong," he says bluntly, a smirk playing on his lips. A laugh nearly slipped from my own. Wil turned his smirk in my direction when he noticed me struggling to keep it in. "I am actually in Florida!" he announces. Instantly I started to see chat fill with his name. The smile that was on my face, faltered just a bit. "Nope, not at Dreams. I am at another friend's place and we have an announcement. Would you like to do the honours, Y/u/n?"
"I- wha- me?" I stutter, not expecting him to throw me under the bus like this.
"Yeah, come on, tell chat what's happening today!"
"Uhm, okay..," I swallow my nervousness quickly. "So, as Wil has been saying, there is a new song," I start, looking at Wil for confirmation. He nods, telling me to continue. "I wrote this song with some encouragement from Wil. The reason I wrote this song is... Well. I was hung up on a breakup. Yeah, I know, I am dramatic," I chuckle, Wil doing the same. "Anyway! This song is for me to get over this and hopefully it will help others too!"
"Exactly, cause believe it or not, today is the day the breakup happened a year ago. And this little lady is still hooked up on this game."
"Hey!" I pout, smacking his arm softly. "He was a great guy! You know I'm trying not to, but I still love him."
"I know," Wil says. "But from today on you're moving forward, correct?" I nod a smile back on my lips. "You can't see but she's nodding," he tells chat, making me giggle. "Now," he claps. "Let's actually play the song!" grabbing his guitar he checks it before looking at me. "You ready to do this?"
"As ready as I'll ever be," I tell him, adjusting in my seat a bit. Making sure the mic is in the right position. Wil starts playing, looking at me when it's my time to start.
I’ve been trying not to think about it, I can’t help it I know you don’t want to hear from me, but I am selfish It kills me inside, you can drink on Friday nights Not even pick up the phone It amazes me, you moved on so easily From someone that you once called home
I sang nervously, tho the stare Wil gave me boosted me with confidence. It felt so good to sing this song. I tried not to focus on the chat. Not wanting to feel discouraged or get distracted. 
I wish you had enough discipline For the both of us Just because I don’t know how to Turn off the way I feel I know you always fell out of love So damn easily But honestly, I don’t think you ever Had something real Until you met me, drinks in New york city Oh, you looked so pretty Think I fell in love before I even  knew your birthday Kissed you on our first date Somehow I knew someday This would hurt ‘cause I could  Never let you go Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping your heart is free, heart is free
I finished my part receiving an encouraging smile from Wil before he starts with his part.
I’ve been trying not to think of  This as something tragic ‘Cause our two paths might Cross again Crazier things have happened And I realized lightning strikes just Once not twice And shooting stars are burning rocks So I spend months inside, Drowning in these dreams of mine Wondering if I’m worth your thoughts I wish you had enough discipline for The both of us Just because I don’t know how to Turn off the way I feel I know you always fell out of love so easily,  but honestly, I don’t think you ever  had something real
Wil finishes and looks at me and we continue together.
Until you met me, drinks in New York City Oh, you looked so pretty Think I fell in love before I even knew Your birthday Kissed you on our first date Somehow I knew someday This would hurt ‘cause I could Never let you go
Taking over I continue.
Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping you’re heart is free, heart is free Do you not dream of me? ‘Cause I have visions in my sleep I can’t ever find me peace now Do you wake up alone And feel an aching in your bones? Or are you happy without me now? The first time that you told me You thought that you loved me That bar in the city I thought you were drunk But I knew deep down that you meant it Wish that I had said it I was scared to let it happen But it happened and now I cannot forget it Oh I’ll spend my whole life Missing a part of me, part of me Oh, I’ll spend my whole life Hoping your heart is free, heart is free
We finished the song. Staying in silence just for a bit.
"That was great! I am so proud of you, Y/u/n!" Wil says holding up his hand for a high five. I high-fived him, giggling softly. The praise raised a blush on my cheeks.
"Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you."
"Nah, you could have," he grins grabbing both our water bottles and handing me mine. "Tell me chat! What did you guys think? Do you have any questions?" Wil asked once he finished drinking. Focusing on the chat as messages flood in.
Who is the song about?
Wil read out the question that caught his eye, turning to me. He waited for my answer.
"I can't tell you who it's about exactly. Can't really expose him like that," I answer honestly.
"Yeah, we probably shouldn't," Wil chuckled. "Do you think - if he listened - Do you think he would recognize your voice?"
"He could, I guess. I have sung for and with him before. Though he could have forgotten what I sound like. I mean, it has been a year."
"That is true," Wil mumbles again, pulling a thinking face.
Could you tell us about that bar in New York City?
"I guess I could. Though, it's not actually about a bar in New York City. The name of the bar is New York City," I chuckle. "Do you mind? It could take a while?" I ask Wil.
"Yeah, go ahead, I don't know the story behind the bar either. I have to say that I am quite curious myself."
"Alright. Well, I knew this person since high school. We weren't friends but we did speak occasionally. I did already like him in high school but I never thought I would be his type," I start the back story. "Besides, he had relationship after relationship. I don't mean in a playboy kind of way. He isn't the playboy type. I guess his relationships just never worked out. Anyways, that's where I knew him from," I pause for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "So, fast forward a few years. We had both finished high school and doing whatever after. I ended up not going to college. I chose to pursue my music. Hence the song," I chuckle at the obviousness of it. "So, after a long day at my job, writing songs all day. I needed a break. Doing so by going to my favourite bar, New York City. I was sitting at the bar just drinking my (f/(a)/d) when he noticed me and came over. He asked if I was me," I giggled at the way I was explaining it, shaking my head. "I, of course, recognized him immediately. I mean who forgets their high school crush. We got to talking, quickly exchanged phone numbers and got pretty drunk together. We clicked quite well and I loved spending time with him. We joked about this being our unexpected first date while we talked about doing this again sometime. I told him that if it was, he should be a gentleman and escort me home safely. He had wheezed but nodded nonetheless. Telling me he would make sure I got safe and sound," I couldn't help but smile at the memory. "He kept his word and at about midnight, he called a taxi and brought me home. I was quite thankful and with the alcohol in my system. I risked it all for a biscuit and kissed him. Just like the song says, I fell in love before I even knew his birthday," I giggle once again, only this time it sounded clogged. My voice quivered a bit when the tears that formed in my eyes from the memory, caught up with me. "Sorry, I'm getting emotional," I quickly wiped my tears, sniffing. I felt arms wrap around me, I knew it was Wil.
"Hey, it's okay," he spoke softly as he comforted me. One hand caressed my back while the other was entangled in my hair. My head in his chest.
"I'm ruining your shirt," I muttered, my voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.
"That's alright, you need this hug," Wil chuckled gently. "You know, I gotta say. That's a really cute way to meet someone. And fall for someone. The guy is an idiot for letting you go."
"You act like you don't know him," I chuckle.
"I just wish I knew why he would end it."
"You and me both."
After I had calmed down we put our attention back on the stream. Answered a few more questions. Wil linked and announced all my socials and provided the link to our song Crazier Things on Spotify before he ended the stream.
"Alright, it is-" Wil looks at the clock on the monitor. "Almost 8 pm, I should go to you know where."
"I know. Sorry that the stream took so long because of my long-ass answers. Not to mention my emotional breakdown," I chuckled. "You could have gone to his place already."
"Hey don't apologize for that. If I wanted to end earlier I would have," Wil shut down the PC. We made our way out of my spare bedroom. Grabbing his coat I handed it to him.
"You're staying the night at his right?" I ask to be sure I remembered it right.
"Yeah, I'll be back around noon tomorrow most likely. Then I also want you to show me that bar of yours!" chuckling at his excitement for it, I nod my head.
"Alright, I will! Now go on, have fun but be careful, okay!" I told him as I quite literally pushed him out the front door. "If you do end up needing me, just call me."
"Yes, yes, bye now!" With that, I close the front door. Being alone for the night. 'Happy birthday, Clay.'
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"Wil!" Phil called out when he walked into the Dream teams living room. "I saw the stream! That song is so beautiful, mate!"
"Thank you," Will smiled. "The stream was also why I was a little later."
"Yeah, we watched it here," Techno said from his spot on another part of the L-shaped couch pointing at the tv that now just displayed the twitch logo. 
"Yeah, Clay ran off like right after too. Talking about needing some air."
"Seems pretty obvious why," Will said getting confused looks from the other two in the room. "You do realize that song is about him right."
"All the hints you had dropped. The both of you talked about it so much. You showed us just a section of the song," Techno mumbled thinking to himself as he tried to make logic out of it. Nick, who had let Will in, walked back into the living room. Handing out new beers for everyone. Including the two currently not in the room.
"Wait! That was Y/n?" Phil asked shocked.
"Well, yeah, how did you not know," he chuckles. "Who have I been helping the past 8 months? Who do we know that loves to write songs and sing? And has sung for us before, might I add."
"All the hints you had dropped. The both of you talked about it so much. You showed us just a section of the song," Techno mumbled thinking to himself as he tried to make logic out of it. Nick, who had let Will in, walked back into the living room. Handing out new beers for everyone. Including new ones for the two currently not in the room.
"I'm guessing George went to talk to Clay?" He asked no one in particular.
"Yeah," Techno answered him. "I wonder why he ran off tho. Sure, the song is about him, but it's not like the song was portraying him in a bad light."
"I don't know, maybe he feels guilty?" Nick said, confused about the situation himself.
"Wait, does that mean not even you know why he broke up with Y/n?" Phil asked the important question. A question Wil very much wanted the answer to.
"No," He stated bluntly. "We just assumed something suddenly happened between the two. It was like it happened overnight," Nick explains, taking a sip from his beer. "We were here having fun on his birthday and the next day she was gone. We didn't see or hear from her. Clay didn't talk about it either. so we waited till he was ready to tell us about what happened," he sighed. "All he ended up telling us was that she wouldn't be coming here anymore. No explanation whatsoever. And that was 2 months after."
"Woah, of all people, I thought he would have told you and George. I mean, you guys live together! Y/n basically lived here with you," Techno said, very confused why Clay wouldn't tell anyone the reason. It was silent for a little while after that.
The talking only started back up when George and Clay came back from where ever the two had been. Clay complimented Wil on the song with a hint of sadness lingering in his voice. Though, at the moment Wil decided not to comment on it. Instead, deciding to let the party become less tense. Suggesting playing a game.
They ended up playing an Uno drinking game. Everyone quickly became tipsy and the living room filled with laughter. Music softly playing in the background. Not too loud not too soft.
After a while, they stopped. Putting on a comedy show by Daniel Sloss. The humour was dark but oh-so-good. Wil couldn't focus on it though. He had a question rolling around in his head. It had been doing so for a while now. He was not leaving this place without answers, that's for sure.
"Alright," Wil spoke, catching the attention of everyone in the room. "I am sorry. I am not trying to ruin the mood. But I have to know," he said looking straight at Caly who was sitting on the outside corner of the couch. Tension instantly filled the air as most caught on to what was going to happen.
"Know what?" Clay asks, faking oblivion. He could already guess what the question would be. The question is, was he ready to talk about it.
"What was the reason?" Wil asked. "Like, don't get me wrong, but it was so sudden for everyone," he added, letting it sink for a second. "Why did you break up with Y/n?" he asks again when he didn't get a response. Clay's attention had slowly shifted to the carpet. Finding it more interesting than were the conversation was going.
"I would rather not talk about it," he confessed, his voice a little above whisper. He hadn't told anyone the reason. He didn't think he was ready to tell 5 of his friends right this second.
"You've got to talk about it at some point. It's been a year," George spoke from the recliner next to him.
George and Nick had definitely noticed a difference in Clay before and after the breakup. He was still clay, just less happy.
"Your reason won't change the way we look at you," Nick told him in reassurance. "It is honestly just so confusing. George and I didn't want to push you into talking about it. But we're your best friends. Please remember that."
"I know," Clay sighed. "Can we just say I was an idiot and not talk about it," he ends up saying. Looking around the room, but not making eye contact with anyone. His eyes then go straight to his lap. Focused on playing with the hem of his green hoodie.
"Why would you be an idiot?" Phil asks concerned. The fact that he thinks he's an idiot makes the situation all the more confusing.
"I-" He let out a sigh, throwing his head back. Trying to convince himself it was okay. He is with a close group of friends. He can trust them. "I actually broke up with her after I let a joke Wil made get to me."
"Excuse me. What?" Nick broke the silence that followed the confession.
"I don't remember the joke exactly. But it was something along the lines of Y/n cheating on me."
"You mean to tell me I've spent months taking care of Y/n from the UK. All because of a fucking joke I made!" It wasn't even a question. It was a statement. Wil was so aggravated at this discovery. The room was silent once again.
"I'm sorry," came from Clay, his hands covering his face as tears started to block his vision. His voice was croaky. "I got scared of getting hurt by the one person I actually saw myself having a future with," the anger that ran through Wil's veins quickly got replaced with confusion and concern.
"What?" he asked quietly.
"The song explains a lot," wiping at his eyes. Clay takes a deep breath, calming himself down. "The first time that you told me, you thought that you loved me. That bar in the city. I thought you were drunk but I knew deep down that you meant it. Wish that I had said it. I was scared to let it happen. But it happened and now I cannot forget it," he quotes the song with ease. "On our 1-year anniversary date, I told her that I loved her. As the song says, she didn't say it back. Which is fine, she should have to feel forced to say it back," he explains. "But months went by and I said it, every once and a while. She never said it back," looking up at Wil. "So, on my birthday, when you made that joke. All that went through my head was that maybe you were right. What if she was already cheating on me. She never told me she loved me because she had someone else besides me," he took a deep breath before continuing. "I ended it before I could find it whether it was true or not. When I did, that's when she told me she loved me."
"No," George mumbled. Every time Y/n spoke about Clay she would always shove an 'I love him' in the conversation. It always made Nick and him tease her for it. They knew how very much in love the two were with each other.
"We genuinely thought she had already told you," Nick said shaking his head slightly in disbelief. "She told us all the time that she loved you."
"Really?" Clay couldn't believe his ears. "I guess I really am an idiot huh?" shaking his head, he threw his head back. Slumping against the couch. "I lost the love of my life because I am an idiot."
"Who says you lost her," Techno spoke up. Everyone turned to look at him. Curious about where he was going with this. "Wil, Phil and I are still in contact with her. I am sure she would love to talk to you. We all know her well enough to know she would hear you out."
"I literally dumped her without telling her why. Why would she want to talk to me."
"Because she still loves you," Phil says matter-of-factly. "The song even talks about your paths crossing again, as crazier things have happened," hope started to fill him just slightly at the possibility.
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The next morning I woke up to my violently vibrating phone under my pillow. Shuffling around I try to find it. Answering without looking.
"Hello..?" I croak tiredly.
"Morning, Y/n," Wil's voice comes from the other end of the phone.
"How are you up this early? Shouldn't you be hungover or something?" I mumble slowly pushing myself up in bed. Now leaning against the headboard. I rub my eyes to wake myself up more.
"Y/n, it's almost 2 pm, what do you mean early?" He chuckles. I could just tell he was shaking his head.
"Where are you? I thought you were supposed to come here?" I ask, taking the phone away from my head, and putting it on speaker. Getting up off the bed I walk over to my closet.
"I'm on my way to New York City," he says sounding excited. "One of the guys offered to take me there. So, I will see you there, okay?"
"Yeah, sure, okay," I answered while struggling to put on a tight pair of black high-waisted jeans. "I'll try not to make you wait too long. You can always order something to drink while you wait."
"Yeah, we'll do that before they leave."
"Alright! I'll see you in a bit then!" With a quick bye Wil hangs up the phone and I focus on getting ready. Though in the back of my mind I found it very suspicious how Wil spoke about the person who brought him to the bar.
Parking the car in the last free parking spot behind the bar. I try to ignore the car next to me. 'It's definitely not his car,' I think to myself. Shaking my head I grab my handbag and head to the front door. Looking back just once like I was expecting the car to suddenly change colour or something. I open the door, the small bell ringing as I walk in.
"Y/n!" Wil said with excitement as he came over immediately. Too close for a normal conversation and too stiff like he was trying to block my view from something.
"Hey, Wil," you don't look like you've been drinking last night at all," I chuckle ignoring the way he's acting at the moment. I could always ask him about it later.
"Well, we were up pretty early," he says with that cute grin of his. "Go sit at the bar I'll be right back," he says while grabbing my shoulders. Turning me around to face the bar. Looking over my shoulder, I give him a confused look.
"You're acting weird, Wil," I tell him, tho I do follow his request and make my way to sit at my 'usual' stool. Before I can turn to find out where Wil is going, my attention shifts to the bartender. Someone, I am all too familiar with.
"Well, hello there, Y/n," Lenny said with a grin. "I haven't seen you in a long time! What can I get you? Your usual?"
"Woah! Lenny, you still work here? And yes, please," the smile on my face matches his. "I am surprised you still know who I am," I chuckle. Like he said, I hadn't been here in a while. The last time I visited was at a moment of weakness 3 months ago.
"How could I not," he says setting down my (f/a/d). "You and Clay came here basically every Friday! Where is that boy of yours anyways?" Just like the last time he asked where Clay was. That time I was able to think of a fake reason why he couldn't be there.
"I- we- well-" now, I was just a stuttering mess. Unsure of how to tell him that we had broken up ages ago. But my stuttering gets cut off by another voice and the stool next to me moving.
"I am right here," Clay's voice surprises me. Looking up at him, there is a gentle smile on his face. He hasn't looked my way yet, though.
"Ah! Still together I see!" Lenny laughs, giving Clay his usual drink. Not even having to ask what it was. Neither of us corrects Lenny on his assumption. Why Clay wouldn't correct him has me lost, in every sense of the word.
"Thank you, Lenny!" He says, turning to look at me his smile softens but it's definitely still there. "Can you give us a moment?" He asks Lenny after turning back to him.
"Of course, of course!" He answers quickly and walks over to the other side of the bar. Picking up a conversation with another regular. I was utterly perplexed when I looked away from Lenny and back to Clay. We sat in silence, neither of us probably having any idea what to say. The only thing I was sure of was that Wil was behind this setup. But why? It didn't make sense to me. Clay hates me, he thought I cheated!
After taking a sip of his drink, Clay lets out a sigh. Turning his gaze to look at me. Or eyes briefly meet, but I look away, unable to look at him. I didn't want to get lost in his eyes like I used to. Besides I could already feel my emotion start to bubble up.
"Y/n, I know that I am probably way too late to tell you this," he starts off, the smile completely gone. Now replaced with a serious yet sincere look. "But I am so sorry," my eyes snap to meet his. I had no idea what to say or do. 'Should I even say anything or should I let him continue?' I decide on the latter and gave him a nod in acknowledgement. "I never told you why, nor anyone else for that matter and I felt, still do actually, feel like the biggest idiot in existence," he played with his glass a little. Something I knew he did if he was thinking about what and how to say it next. His elbow leaned on the bar, his head resting against his hand. He wasn't looking at me anymore but I knew it was because he was scared of my reaction. "Yesterday, a year ago, Wil made a joke," he says slowly. "I knew it couldn't be true, but I let it get to me. I didn't want to get hurt since I loved you more than I ever thought I could. So that night I broke up with you," he looked back at me. His eyes let me know just how sincere he was saying that. He cups the left side of my face hesitantly. With his thumb, he wipes away a tear I didn't know had fallen from my eye.
"So..," my voice sounded a little clogged from being my emotional self. I had hoped for this moment for so long. Just to know what the reason was. "Uhm, I am not sure what to say," I mumbled looking away from his eyes, trying to stop myself from leaning into his hand. Along with trying not to cry more. The comfort of his touch was still all too familiar. "I guess, thank you for telling me," I sniffed. "I want you to know that I never cheated on you and I never would."
"I know," he softly lifts my head up, making me look at him. "And I know it's far-fetched," he sighs somewhat lovingly. "Would you consider starting over?"
"But you just said 'loved'. W-why would you- I- wha?" I couldn't put into words how I was feeling at the moment. Sure, my heart started to flutter at the thought of getting back together. But I was making progress, was I not? I was supposed to move on from him now. Not let my love for him take over my life anymore. "D-don't get me wrong! I mean, I didn't write a song about you if I was actually, you know, over you. But I am very confused?" Ending the sentence questioningly to further prove my point of confusion. Loads of hand gestures. None of which add to the conversation as I scramble with my thoughts and words. Clay chuckles softly, moving both his hands to mine. Holding them delicately.
"I know, I'm sorry," he says gently. "The thing is. The reason that I am hoping you'll give me another chance is that I regret breaking up with you. I have since the moment I did it. You told me you loved me then and I could tell you were sincere. I could tell you meant it," his voice is filled with so much emotion. My eyes water, thinking back on that day. "I blamed myself for not being patient enough and letting a joke get to me," he looks down at our hands. His hand playing with a simple ring that sits on my left ring finger. It was actually a ring he had given to me. From the moment he gave it to me I had never taken it off. I have been wearing it for a solid 2 years now. "I felt so guilty after I sent you home. I knew you weren't lying when you told me you loved me. I shut down, and locked myself up in my room, for 2 months. Worried the hell out of Nick and George," he chuckles softly to lighten the mood a little. Looking back into my eyes. I notices even he had tears pooling on his water line. "And I never even told them why I did what I did. Up until last night," my eyes widen at the confession. 'No one knew? Did he really feel that guilty and embarrassed that he felt he couldn't even tell his two best friends?'.
"Let me guess, Wil asked why?" I asked knowingly, rolling my eyes. I knew he wanted to know why so badly. He needed to know if Clay deserved all my tears.
"Yep, and I didn't wanna answers at first," Clay confesses. "But they were patient with me and actually very understanding."
"I mean, they might be idiots but they are still your friends," I chuckled tearfully.
"That, they are, sometimes I don't think I deserve them," he sighs softly, though it was a sigh of contentment, not of annoyance. "They are the ones who helped me figure out how I could talk to you and hopefully make amends," he said with a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Wil told me you were gonna show him our bar, and that set it in motion."
"I guess my mind wasn't playing tricks on me when I saw your car in the parking lot," I couldn't help but giggle. Wiping gently at my eyes, I rub away any tear tracks. Grabbing my drink, I take hold of one of his hands again, taking a sip. "And you were hiding in here while Wil told me to go sit at the bar. You know, it was very obvious he was hiding something," Clay chuckled, nodding as he agreed with me. It helped him lighten up.
"But it worked and I am very happy you didn't decide to just run off when you saw me."
"I could never," I said with a teasing smile on my lips. "Even though the song was to help me move on from you. Our paths have crossed again," I could tell from him slightly shifting in his seat that he had gotten nervous again. "I would like to start over," I down the rest of my drink and get up. Not giving him time to say anything. I walk out the door of the bar. I grin to myself while my back is turned. I wait for the door to close behind me. Turning back around I walk straight back in. I look around like I'm looking for a place to sit. Moving my gaze to Clay, I noticed a confused look on his face. "Hi, is this seat taken?" a little flabbergasted, Clay shakes his head and chuckles.
"No, go ahead," he then says, gesturing to the stool. Playing along with my little act. "Can I offer you a drink? I'm Clay, by the way," he continues, moving his hand towards me. I shake his hand before sitting down comfortably next to him.
"That would be lovely," I grin. "I'm Y/n."
"What a lovely name," he says, reluctantly letting go of my hand. "What would you like?" He turns away a little to look at Lenny grabbing his attention and asking him to come over.
"Another round of usuals?" He asks as soon as he reaches us.
"Yes, please," I tell him sliming brightly. "So, who did you invite over yesterday?" I drop the act as we wait for our drinks. I knew Wil, went of course but I didn't know who else had been invited.
"Well, I invited a fair few. Sadly not everyone could make it, but as compensation, we played some games during the day. So it was just Nick, George, Techno, Phil, Wil and me during the evening," Lenny put our drinks in front of us, sending a smile. Then going back to the other side on his own. He was always pretty good at reading people. So he probably guessed we just had a pretty serious conversation. Wanting to give us the privacy we needed. "We actually watched Wil's stream while we were waiting on Wil."
"Wait, you did?" I asked calmly even though I was pretty shocked. Sure, they were friends and all but it was Clay's birthday. 'Why would he decide to watch the stream?'
"Yeah, we knew he was dropping a song but didn't know who with. I instantly realized it was you when you spoke. All flustered by the sudden attention thrown on you," he says with a sweet grin. A blush spread across my cheeks. His right hand reached out, gently taking hold of my left one. His thumb softly caressed the top of my hand. "I didn't know what to expect when it came to the actual song. But I knew it would be beautiful," the blush darkened at the compliments. "What I didn't expect was that it was going to be a song about us and this very bar. I thought you had long since moved on from me. Forgotten about me even," he says softly, looking down at our hand. Squeezing carefully, almost like he thought I would disappear. "But there you were, off-screen, singing about our bar and the effect our breakup had on you," his voice got a little croaky and I could tell it bothered him that I had been dealing with this for an entire year. I squeezed his hand, trying to reassure him that it was alright. I was obviously not the only one who dealt with it for this long.
"It's okay," I tell him softly. "It was a shitty year and I wouldn't have gotten to this point if it wasn't for Wil. But it's okay, Clay. I don't want you to blame yourself, which I know you're doing," I said with a pointed look, getting a slight grin as he knew I was right. "It's my fault for staying in that state of mind for so long. I have gotta say though, I don't regret it cause you want to give us a second chance. And that makes me really happy," I smiled a genuine smile because this is, in reality, what I had been hoping for. I love this man too much to just walk away from him.
"I guess, but I hurt you," he replies in almost a whisper. "And all because I'm an idiot."
"You might be an idiot, but you're my idiot, okay," I giggle softly, leaning over to give him a side hug and pecking his cheek. Leaving my head on his shoulder as he chuckled at my response.
"That I am."
That evening, just like on our unofficial first date, he made sure I got home safely. But! Instead of me kissing him, he gently kissed me. Looking at me with the softest of smiles when we pulled apart. A dark blush spread on my cheeks. We just stared for a bit, not really knowing how much time passed.
He told me he would come to pick me up in the morning. To pick up our cars, both of us were too tipsy to drive home. I smiled and nodded. Saying shy goodnight, I entered my apartment as he went back to the uber.
"Look who is finally home, just in time for dinner," Wil spoke from the kitchen. He couldn't see me but who else would enter my apartment. Wait!
"Wha- Wil? How did you get in?" I ask confused as I walk into the kitchen. There I find Wil making a very easy dinner of simple spaghetti with green pesto and cheese.
"You gave me a key," he says not sounding convincing in the slightest.
"Did you break into my apartment!?" My eyes wide in shock. 'How could he possibly have broken in!? I am on the forth floor! And my door definitely did not look broken into.'
"No, no, no!" he puts up his hands in surrender, letting out a sigh. "Clay still had a key. So he gave it to me to return to you after," I stood there flabbergasted. I had completely forgotten about the key I had given Clay. He actually kept it? "Love how you actually give him it with a keychain that has his name on it," he chuckled, taking the key from his pocket, sliding it over across the counter, to me.
"I-" I wasn't sure how to react. I just picked up the key looking at the battered keychain. I found it in a store once. It had a smiley, similar to his iconic one, on the the from and the back was black. So I had gotten it engraved with his name and our anniversary date.
I still remember the day I gave it to him. I was over at his place but had to go home that night because of my part-time job. I was very tired and asked if he would bring me home and maybe stay over. He had agreed after my pleading, asking for my eyes. He very well knew I was gonna fall asleep during the - short - drive. So he needed to be able to open the door.
I had grinned sheepishly and handed him his own key. He had been very confused at first. My own set of keys was filled - basically - to the brim with keys and keychains. 'It's your key. Now you can come over whenever you feel like it,' I told him. The smile on his face made my day just that much better. He pecked my lips before we got up and headed to the car. That night he had to carry me inside, 'cause just like he predicted. I had fallen almost straight asleep as soon as I sat down in the car.
"-ello? Earth to Y/n? Someone in there?" a soft pat on the head brought me back from memory lane and in front of me stood a smiling Wil. "Where did you drift off to?"
"Sorry," giggling I shake my head and put the key in a bowl that was meant for keys. "Just thought about the day I gave that key to him."
"While we're on the topic of him, how did it go? Did my plan work? I mean, I guess it did cause you were there for like 4 hours," Wil started to ramble as he filled two plates with the now-finished dish.
"It did work," I grin, a blush returning to my cheeks. "Funny how things work tho, right? The song was supposed to help me get over him and instead," I let out a content sigh. "We are going to start over and try again," I couldn't help but smile brightly as I sat down on a barstool at the island. Wil coming over to my side and sitting down too.
"I am surprised of me saying this, but I am very happy for you," he says. "I never hated Clay, but just never knowing why really made me not want you to get back together with him. Along with, of course, you being miserable for an entire year for that idiot," he chuckles. "He really is an idiot but he loves you very much," bumping his shoulder against mine slightly, a smirk on his lips.
// MASTERLIST // ANONLIST //
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I've kind of mentioned it to a friend a bit haphazardly, but now that it's been a few hours since that, I have some more time to finetune the idea. And I'm turning this into a headcanon/backstory thing.
Miku is afraid to quit because she is afraid to be alone once more.
Before she started her career as an idol she wasn't much of a person with a lot of friends, or any at all and with no real goal in mind back then with her career life other than to be known. She wanted to do something with music but she didn't know what.
It was sometime after she found out about KAITO and MEIKO that she started to get inspired by. They were already idols themselves, a duo as you would. The way they performed and the way they moved people's hearts was enough for her to be inspired and wanted to start her life as an idol, so she started to learn how to perform and sing since she had a knack for both of these things.
When she performed, she wasn't really liked well by the people. The people who were watching her performance didn't inspire much confidence by their lack of enthusiasm and she didn't know why, but there were a certain two that did notice her but didn't know how to reach out to her since she hadn't made it her official career at the time.
Months passed when she tried and still had the same result every time. People were watching but weren't really riled up. It sunk her confidence to the point she had gained a hint of stage fright.
Her confidence was at it's low a few days before she found out MEIKO and KAITO had announced to be recruiting a new member and they wanted to find the perfect member by having a singing trial. Miku wasn't sure on whether to partake in that trial with her confidence dropping so low, even go so far as to thinking that her biggest idols might even dislike her performance.
But she was concerned that if she didn't try and test herself in the singing trial, she might never be a part of their group-- the duos that she was inspired by in the first place. This could be a life changing event for her.
She had been contemplating on trying it or not, but in the end she took that chance. At first Miku felt like it was going the same once more, or worse since she was very nervous, partly excited, but mostly nervous on botching it again or so she thought.
The fear started to kick in the moment the two were wondering if she was the same girl they saw months ago. Hearing what their small banter was about almost made her break down. They asked to her if she was the same person that performed months ago. Miku was silent, but slowly nodded, before the asked to tell her a bit more about herself, which was when they found out they were not only her idols, but they also found out about what caused her to be like the girl she is now.
In the end they decided that yes, she was the girl-- with them acknowledging that she needs to regain the confidence she had in performing and more, which they were more than willing to. In a way, they saw her as a daughter figure to them. But more importantly, they knew that she had potential because of that performance months ago and they told her directly about it and complimented her performance back then.
This news shocked the tealnette, brought her to tears, which didn't help stop the moment the two comforted her with a warm embrace. They have some work ahead of them, but they were more than willing to help her out.
Back when Miku had no friends she was a quiet kind of girl for most of the situations, a bit timid at times. Now that she has people who she wanted to be around, people who she's excited to be with, it showed a whole different kind of Miku-- the one that everyone would know her for.
Her first performance with them was a month after they've recruited Miku and while she was a bit nervous and concerned, with MEIKO and KAITO she persevered and for once, Miku had experienced her first cheering crowd, even if she had MEIKO and KAITO as basically the star idols at the time, but even then she finally saw people starting to be moved by her performances when during the booth where she had to sign autographs with the two, she heard compliments, stories how they were inspired by her to do the thing herself, including two young blonde siblings that were really persistent in wanting to join the small team. One a young boy with a unique looking hairstyle, and a young girl who was the energetic younger sister with a rather big bow on her head.
At first they were trying to politely decline their request, but they were persistent, even weeks later they continued to request to join. MEIKO and KAITO started to think that they should call whoever parents they have if they even had parents. Miku, in her free time decided to personally talk to the two siblings. She found out that the siblings: Rin and Len, were orphans who wanted to perform just like Miku did, even if they did not know what that meant at the time.
They were inspired that someone like her could join what they thought to be a very popular idol team.
The mere mention that they were orphans made her heavily consider taking them under their wing-- not as idols, but just as kids under their care, but she decided it was best to ask MEIKO and KAITO about all of that.
They weren't sure about this but decided that they were so persistent that it's best to give them a fair shot and just move on from that. To their and Miku's surprise they had talent, even if at some point they flopped, but they didn't give up. Their performance not only as nice, but they had a sense of humor and a livelihood that the three thought missed in the team.
So partly due to the two's shock and due to how much they've brighten Miku's day, Rin and Len were recruited in the team, yet like with Miku had some guidance, with Miku acting as their older sister figure.
As more and more members came, the more Miku found people who were genuinely inspired and loved her performances, to the point where at one point the team allowed her to perform solo for once concert. Comparing the crowd's excitement from when she first started to now was a night and day difference, with the crowd now cheering her name on with glee, to the point where she had gotten more attention than all the others. With that, she became the face of the team.
She now have friends, fame, a career she enjoys. Though at that point they all had formed contracts to help improve themselves and get more famous by the day, which also meant that she was contractually obligated to do certain things too. Would she not, she would be kicked off the team, which in her eyes meant that she could very well risk being a nobody once more, without any friends.
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harrison-abbott · 2 months
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I
The winds had quietened and they gambolled down the hill that
Had seen so many stories in atmospheres of hushed ivy and the
Night had an inky zone now on all that mattered most in the
Changing age. ………………………………………………….
In the old house that overlooked the hill the lights were still
Yellow from the strange isolated man that lived there with the
Shocked grey hair and the countless tales, too, that few were
Known about … only glimmer and glamour, secrets kept hard.
The foxes dallied across the roads by the nights and they
Were never going to be caught and they knew it and that’s
Why they even ventured out before midnight, why they muzzled
At the food bins outside the houses or the gardens in search
Of the cats or the mice, or whatever it is that these animals
Do – for you only ever see them within seconds and then nought.
The schools were back on in January nothingness; the mundane
Dreary walk up the motorway to the high school that
Looked like a building out of a true crime documentary …
The kids were angry that none of the storms had cancelled
The school days, yet; and thus they had to do the jaunts
In the lashing rain and blistering wind that had stopped the
Trains across the nation, had overlorded the news.
Christmas and Hogmany seemed like aeons ago even
Though it was only last month and there was little to go
On with 2024, as a year, save the casual mayhem that happened
On the radio or on one’s phone, with the occasional wowing
Event being one related to a soccer manager announcing his
Decision to vacate at the end of the season or some other
Thing that wasn’t nearly as important as war, except, was:
Only in a civilian way. …………………………………………….
Several of the trees had cracked and were destroyed by the
Storms and many of the folks would miss them because
There was nothing they could do about these giant shards of timber
Lying now on the fields of the park with their clear innards
Outside the gnarly bark and each of them wondered with ease
How easily such a brute branch could kill you if you stood under
It … if you’d been there during that moment in the carnage
When it quit the trunk and thundered down.
II
The cafes have slow businesses and there are various reports from
Week to week about restaurants shutting down, some of them joints
That have been alive for forty years in the city. And there’s not much
To rescue with such incidents, either. Oh, and even some of the
Watering holes, in this nation renowned for alcohol, have had to
Shut the doors also; and on social media these snapshots are met
With sad faces and what not, and it makes one wonder about
The fifty or so people that work in and around that particular
Venue and what on earth they will do for money now that their
Lives have changed. ………………………………………………
But the vans still hurtle buy delivering their parcels and folks
Still go to the supermarket in the busy times all the same.
Some of them even still stop to give the charity magazine seller
A coin or two outside of the revolving doors and when you go
Through said doors the heating in the building is ramped up full
And you sweat or your skin prickles because you’ve just come
Out of the cold and it’s fifteen degrees upgrade in here …
And there are young folks working in the market and there
Are older workers too who have been here, you know, for over
Twelve years. And they play pretty good tunes on the tannoids
High above and you can sing along in a civilian way as you
Go to get your stuff. And there’s this older chap who hasn’t
Worked in the place so long and he is always always always
Cheery and you wonder what gives him the zeal to be friendly
With other folks all the time. ………………………………………
Outside the supermarket the gulls are a bit twitchy and desperate.
And they have grown to picking on the gardens instead, up
In the suburbs, where the humans feed the seeds and bread to
The pigeons and blackbirds (the likable birds). But really it’s free
For any squirrel or rat, whomever, to come and rage at the output.
Following the latest storm, the wind has blown off the fencing
From several of the neighbourhood gardens as well and since
The residents are a bit older now they have hired other workers
To come fix it rather than try and hail up the fences themselves.
Which must be a sad fact to them, that they haven’t the physical
Verve anymore (although some of them are in their 70s, so no shame.)
Brave daffodils and bluebells poke from the fields and woods
In little miraculous pockets of colour, the way they always do;
And they are a cheerful sight indeed alongside the muddled streets.
III
The city is over half a million folks now which is quite a hefty
Number of people if you think about it and I remember when I
Was a kid it was about a hundred thousand less than that, and that
Makes me feel old and I suppose I am getting pretty old … and even
Though I’ve lived most of my life in a leafy suburb which is quite
Detached from Edinburgh, there even seethes this sense of quick-turning
Change, even here, in a place that never quite belonged to urbanity
From what I recall in youth. With the stark differences in the weather
And the way people act differently with technology, most things are
Moving far too fast and it didn’t move that way when you were a boy.
Or perhaps I’ve just come into the thirties with a shock, knowing I
Won’t live forever. Edinburgh is still alive, though, and I am too,
For now at least. Even though it’s night and black outside and lost
And changing, it still has an erratic pulse. ……………………………..
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daesungindistress · 2 years
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"A look into the future at what's to come."
I am not sure if I ever shared these here, but I was looking at them again the other day and I noticed something. The text on TOP's shots from the unreleased Still Life photoshoot says, "A look into the future at what's to come." I can't make out the rest. But now I have to wonder: was TOP's Still Life moon scene not set in the past, but in the future? Showing us the year(s) ahead?
Before Still Life's release YG prepared us for the song by describing it as being "about the members' past times." This was confirmed when we saw in the storyboards that parts of the music video covered BIGBANG's hiatus years from 2018-2022. However, in another press release on April 5th, YG elaborated on the contents of the music vid, saying the members "hinted at past, present, and future all at the same time on their respective sets."
Past. Present. And future.
The past-oriented parts of the MV are not hard to parse. Where they exit their lonely sets toward the end, singing "la la la," I think many of us thought marked the present as of April 5th, 2022. BIGBANG finally stepping out and becoming active again, the members regaining their momentum, just beginning to move as a group for the first time in a long time.
I think there was an especially strong tendency to interpret TOP's part on the moon as his past self, showing himself stuck in a state of intense isolation since the tragedy of 2017 -- physically, emotionally, and creatively distant. We thought April 5th marked the day he was removing his mask and beginning the journey home. Back to Earth, back to VIPS, back to BIGBANG. I certainly saw it that way. And maybe there is some truth to that.
But now I can't help thinking... could it be that TOP was altogether somewhere else on the Still Life timeline? That his time on the moon as shown to us was never past or present; always future.
In his rap TOP gave us a glimpse into his future, telling us of his fresh start. April 5th, 2022 was months ago. What is now our present was, at the time of Still Life's release, the future. And for the first time in years the profile pic on TOP's personal, private Instagram has been changed. That future lunar mission he foretold coming to fruition:
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When I noticed this some months ago (in June, I think), I was confused. "Didn't he leave the moon?" I asked myself. No, he didn't. He's out there right now, embarking on a brand new adventure, blasting off on a long-overdue journey of self (and space!) exploration. BIGBANG's voyager T.O.P
Perhaps the moon setting in Still Life was TOP's way of showing us that he will be away from BIGBANG for a while, not that he has been. And him making his way back to Earth at the end signals an eventual reunion with the group at some unspecified point in the future. The "round-trip ship" returning from orbit after his "very first journey of sharing who I really am," per his interview with Prestige. Reentry after removing the mask.
This could also explain why they scrapped the idea of Daesung watching footage from the moon on his TV. Had the moon represented TOP's past as we believed, then past Daesung watching over him while he was absent would have sent a beautiful message about their friendship. What reason was there to abandon it? But if the moon was meant to show TOP's future, then it wouldn't have made sense to pair past Daesung with future Seunghyun. It's a problem of conflicting timelines, and the concept was left on the cutting room floor.
The reason I bring this up is because, now that a few months have passed since the comeback, I believe the purpose of Spring Summer Autumn Winter was to reassure the fans that TOP's exclusive contract with YG Entertainment coming to an end did not mean BIGBANG was ending. I'm sure the members knew how that news would sound to us VIPs. They must have known we would fear for the future of the group, uncertain of his place in it. Remember, BIGBANG's spring comeback was announced by YG in February in the same breath as TOP's contract expiration. The two were closely connected.
So they created Still Life, The Four Seasons, for us. "Like the permanence of the seasons, BIGBANG is forever," it was said. "Our spring, summer, autumn, winter were beautiful," BIGBANG sang, and promised us they will be beautiful again. Future tense. The chairs with photo backdrop, the spotlights on the stage... they showed us that a place has been prepared for the four of them, ready and waiting. And when the time is right, they will be together again.
But for now, for the time being, one of their members is on the moon 🌕
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I go to concerts alone. Not often and I do really like going with my friends as well, but I don’t mind going alone either. If there is an artist I want to see in and I know none of my friends know their music well, I’ll just go on my own. 
Because from the second I arrive at the venue, I’m not truly alone anymore. I am surrounded by other people who like this artist and their music. There will often be an overlap of interests elsewhere but even if the only thing similar about me and the person standing next to me was our love for this music that would also be alright. 
Two musicians who started out on YouTube, both whom I’ve followed for many years by now, have come to my city a couple of times after they broke through and became more mainstream artists. None of my friends properly listen to them, so I go alone. I’ve seen both multiple times. When they come to my city, I go. 
It puts me in a room full of people that I somehow vibe with without ever having spoken to them. I know some of them too must watched YouTube in that era and fell in love with these artists and stuck around to see their talents bloom and grow. I know for sure a lot of queer people will be in the audience since both of these artists are openly queer and well, we tend to find each other. 
It made tonight feel like a safe space. When the singer shouted out to ask how many queer people were in the house, so many hands went up, so many shouts were heard. I don’t know many openly queer people personally irl but I was in a sea of them. I too shouting and raising my hand because no one knows me there. No friends at my side who might throw me a questioning glance. I’m not questioning anymore and I don’t hide my queerness but I don’t flaunt it either. I just exist and breathe and I got to do that in that venue. 
And the songs, man, hearing the songs you’ve had on repeated actually sung live by the artist is something so magical. Most musicians adore and enjoy the stage and performing in front of their audience and it radiates off of them. I sang along to every song, clapped and shouted, stamped my feet. The air was electric. We all moved as one. It’s a magical experience. 
I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed it. It has been over 2,5 years since I’ve been at an actual concert because of the pandemic. It felt surreal to stand surrounded by people again, even in a relatively small venue. Shouting and singing. A part in the back of my brain was worried, a bit cautious, but I still managed to enjoy it. 
I had booked my ticket months ago, in the autumn when the concert was announced. On the day itself, I had a bit of a grey day, brain kind of heavy. Tired after a long week and processing an upcoming job shift that required a lot of mental processing. I did nothing much all day other than watch YouTube and read fic and then I got ready in the evening. 
Feeling the beat vibrate in my chest and adored lyrics sung so sweetly, I felt pulled back into the present. I felt alive. During the set, it felt like my fatigue melted away. I was abuzz, jumping and having a great time. All by myself and yet not alone in a crowd of people who were feeling the same as I. I’m so glad I don’t mind going to concerts on my own. It has always been an awesome experience. 
(Thanks for tonight, dodie. It was truly a blast. I hope to see you again in the future.)
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roo-bastmoon · 2 years
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tbh i feel like jikooks relationship didn’t change i feel like they are just not showing it as much. if anyone else remembers during the rehearsals during HER (1-2 months ago) a karmy who was there said that jk sang a line towards jimin even tho he didn’t sing that specific line the song. i’ve seen several people say that they changed after the LV concerts but we got videos of them leaving the venue all 3-4 days as well as knowledge that they sat together at a restaurant(can’t remember if this was la or lv) AS well as the behind the scenes for the yet to come video where jk stayed after with jimin. let’s not forget the possiblilty of jks hand being on jimins waist in the one party video :)
All this needs to be factored in, you are right. For me, Jikook gets worryingly quiet two times this year, and both coincidentally are around some serious times of drama. *I* would have handled it differently if *I* were dating Jimin but I'm not, so...
In December, the members started working on Proof and knew about solo era projects. In the new year, Jimin was radio silent for months. More than three months. IAs a baby Army, I was losing my mind. Because JK never mentioned him, either.
In late January, Jimin's apartment was "seized" (I dunno if that's on paper, or like he actually was locked out) because he didn't pay his national health insurance premiums, because his registered mail mysteriously was omitted four times (I don't know if that's genuine incompetence or if someone in the company was sabotaging him--but his ID number and address were leaked on a K-forum, so I'm thinking it was a deliberate attack).
That's fucking traumatic.
Then right after that, his appendix burst and he got COVID and spent a week alone in the hospital.
Then there was the stress of rehearsals and the silent Seoul concert. He started coming back online a bit after that. We saw the White Day photo, but it's not like Jikook were posting that on their own 'grams.
Then JK got COVID. In Vegas, Jikook did not go out and about together. We would never had known he ran to Jimin's hotel room and they embraced after quarantine if he hadn't shared it with us, on his own personal social media. We would never have known they went out to Korean BBQ and sat at a private table, drinking and singing songs, if multiple non-celebrity accounts didn't mention it.
Then the Grammys--amazing performance, sad loss. Then Vegas Concerts. First two nights of the concert were a bit awkward, last two nights were off the charts with Jikookery. There were lots of shippy moments everywhere but like Jungkook carried Jimin like a bride. Holy shit.
They come back to Korea, his OST drops. Same exact day, news of the apartment "scandal" breaks. Folks call him a tax dodger and I don't know what else online, it got nasty. Over a bill that was like $23,000. The man wears a $215,000 watch and has never been late on paying a bill before in his life. Please. Someone had it OUT for Jimin. And he went to ground. Just like JK did over the whole tattoo girl "scandal." Didn't even promote his OST. Weeks of quiet.
This is the second time Jikook gets super quiet. Then the White House appearance. Then the arcade with JK and Hobi and HER. Then the Korean concerts (where fans say there was plenty of Jikookery again, but it was not filmed).
Festa dinner was released (but was filmed prior to Vegas concert). It was a bit worrying that JK didn't hear Jimin's music but also so on-brand that JK felt he had PROPRIETARY RIGHTS to hear it before all others. The finger tattoo thing--can't tell if he genuinely didn't remember where Jimin got his, or if he deflected b/c it wasn't his place to tell yet, but I can tell he got his 7 behind his ear--his first tattoo not on his arm, right where Jimin has Youth. After the solo announcement, stockholders panicked and Hype lost 1.2 billion goddamn dollars, so JK was pulled out of family time to film a Vlive in his kitchen (which was basically empty except for some mixing bowls that also appeared in a Vlive with Jimin once).
And then Hobi's album and party. They both circulated with others but also touched back with each other from time to time. There was no animosity. Neither was there exclusive intimacy.
So at the start of the year, with the solo era and apartment issue on their minds (but not for public knowledge yet) and then after the news of the apartment / insurance premium issue broke, Jikook got super quiet. And they have been more muted since they got back to Korea (at least off stage).
I think it's entirely possible, given even HALF the drama I just listed, that Jikook decided in this new era to just keep private stuff private. I don't know if they are together or not. I don't honestly know if they ever were, but I suspect so. If they want me to know, maybe they'll show more signals in future content. But I'm just gonna support them. No need to make anyone the bad guy here. They are clearly still cool with each other.
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takadokii · 1 month
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chapter two ‧₊.࿐ i dreamt of fishing in jeju / an honourable sacrifice
summary A Koi's fate is to swim patternless until the end in the same waters, never once seeking the ocean, never once searching for purpose. You sit by and watch and envy them in all their glory. warnings description of violence, swearing, mention of abusive behaviour word count 11.6k songs i always miss him lee sun hee, spring day bts, chamber symphony (quartet no.8), op. 110a dmitri shostakovich
"it's all winter here, even in august, my heart is running on time"
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Kamo Miharu was born without honour, lived without purpose, and died without glory.
6th August 2001, Kumamoto
The kitchen is filled with the sounds of chopping scallions, boiling water and the soft voice of Lee Sun-hee, her most beautiful notes interrupted by split-second static noises. Still, you recognise the relatively easy melody as one you had once learned on the piano, and your fingers twitch along to the memory. 
Your mother had her back turned towards you, leaning over the sink and plugging fresh magnolia berries from its cluster into a small bowl. Just barely, you can hear her sing along in stumbling Korean. You guess she must be missing your father more than usual today.
He had been gone for just short of a month now, and a tense atmosphere was gradually growing around the house. It is a tradition that men of the Jung Clan would meet to go fishing for weeks throughout the year, and it was something that your mother was never too fond of. Nonetheless, she understood that her husband wanted to uphold the relationship with his Clan, and luckily for all of you, she had received a heartfelt letter three days ago announcing his return from Jeju.
Home soon, have Cod.
Already familiar with his pace, she had been anticipating his arrival today, so you've spent your late morning preparing everything for his favourite dish, thinly slicing the ssukgat and peppers and preparing the tofu for the strew.
"Mom," you mutter reluctantly, "can I train later with Taki?" 
She starts crushing the berries with a potato masher in such a brutal manner that the juice splashes everywhere.
"Haru. You know I'll need your help with the Cod once your father returns." 
With the back of her hand, she wipes some of it out of her eye.
"And you know that your brother needs the extra training."
Her words make you frown as you start mixing the seasoning in a small bowl: gochugaru, the red chilli pepper flakes your brother always calls way too spicy, soybean paste, and fish sauce.
"Why? Just 'cause he sucks?" You hiss with a pout, just loud enough for her to hear.
"Haru. Watch your words."
Usually, your mother would give you extra chores for a comment like this, but she was high-spirited today and simply scolded you in the diminishing tone you were used to anyway.
The berries fall into the giant pot with a splat, and she turns on the stove before making her way over to you, leaning down to meet your eyes.
"Your brother was chosen by fate to inherit an incredibly powerful Technique of your father's Clan. If he proves himself worthy to the Higher Ups…"
She strokes her crimson-stained thumb along your cheek with a wistful smile, the kind you've never seen on her face before, and you can feel the stickiness of the jam mixture leaving residue on your skin.
"Taki could restore the honour of this family. Don't you want that, Haru?" She whispers as though not to let the gods hear it, fearing it wouldn't come true if she jinxes it in the small world of your kitchen.
A heavy drop of blood-red bitter liquid runs down her cheek, and you nod, if only to see her smile like that.
She turns away from you again, wipes her face from the remaining juice and continues humming along faintly to the song's ending.
The question still lingers in your mind, later at the dinner table, sitting across from your father and enjoying your stew.
Is honour something you're supposed to want? 
The word in itself sounds foreign to you, and you feel like your mother when you say it, singing a language she doesn't speak as you repeat it in your mind over and over again until it sounds like nothing but an array of nonsense syllables.
‧₊.࿐
06th August 2006, Tokyo
"You're bleeding, Kazuha."
Yaga stands next to you with his hands neatly tugged behind his back.
It was new for him to ask you to meet him somewhere other than his office for post-mission discussions, but as you returned, he had already been ominously hovering by the pond, staring off into the distance.
"Oh." Is all you say, too entranced by the moonlight dancing across the water. It's close to midnight, and in this dark, you wonder how he can spot blood dripping from your arm down the hilt of your blade when you couldn't even make out a single flower in the pond.
You turn to search for his eyes but find a familiar darkness staring back at you, one in which you can barely see the outline of his face. Secretly, you had hoped he would pull out a cigarette, anticipating the heat of his lighter to warm your skin, to meet his gaze in those few seconds that the blaze would illuminate the space between you.
"What about the two kids?"
Recalling the mission, you see flashes of their terrified faces, remembering how they had clung to your chest as they caught your hand reaching out for them, practically leaping into your chest and thanking the gods for their rescue.
"They were injured but alive. Rio brought them to the hospital and notified their parents."
The words leave your mouth in a blur and feel drowned out, dull and distant, as though your head was underwater and your voice merely echoed above the surface.
Yaga lets out a satisfied grunt and tells you the money will be wired to your account by tomorrow. He turns to face you, but you don't reciprocate, knowing it is useless on a night like this.
"You should go home now. You look…tired."
You scoff. "Can you even see me?"
The words leave your mouth with a harshness you didn't think you'd have the energy left to. Once again, you barely recognised your voice; the only thing familiar about it was the anger laced into it.
"Well, you sound tired then."
You scoff again.
"Come on, don't you have any more missions to send me on?"
"Nothing that needs your attention specifically."
He shifts to walk away until you break the silence, still standing by the pond with a faint whisper.
"Don't do this to me, Yaga."
Rarely does your tone waver like this, fear and desperation evident in this voice that wasn't yours.
"Don't force me to…"
You choke down the rest of the words, and your chest suddenly feels heavy, a weight on you that you've been carrying around for so long that you had almost forgotten about it.
"What? Sleep?" He teases.
You click your tongue and turn away from him.
"Don't force me to live through this day again."
It's a choked sob at best; despite being so confident earlier that he couldn't possibly see you, you suddenly felt small under his gaze.
With a small sigh, he steps towards you and places an awkward, well-meaning hand on your shoulder.
"You'll make it through this day. As you have every year."
"So...barely?"
He snorts at your remark, but his grip on you still tightens in sympathy, relieved you still have the energy to deflect your feelings.
"I promise it will hurt less. With time."
You let out an agitated breath, and your eyes fall closed for a moment in which you hold back all that is clawing at your soul, scratching the inside of your throat in hopes of escaping. You feel numb, yet at the same time, all at once, every thought and memory lingering in your head hurts and overwhelms you, and all you can ultimately bring yourself to say is ―
"I'm tired."
You can hear that he's grinning as he huffs at your comment.
"I know, which is why you should go home…Is Mizuha sleeping at my sister's place?"
Your mind is at ease, briefly, at the thought of Yukari, who had lifted so much weight off your shoulders and helped you raise your sister with kindness you had never known possible.
"No, Suguru is watching Mizu tonight."
Yaga mutters some disapproving words under his breath, clicks his tongue and turns to head back to the school building, abandoning you at the mere mention of a boy.
"Well, especially then, should you go home. Sorcerers are no good at taking care of little girls."
You scoff for the third time and jog a little to join him. 
"Yeah, you'd know."
He gives you a look and clears his throat.
"That's no way to talk with your teacher, young lady."
"Ah," you smirk, amused, "My apologies, Yaga."
He hums in approval, and at the gate, the two of you split ways with one last lingering look that tells you everything he's never been capable of sufficiently putting into words.
You watch as he walks back inside, probably getting ready to take care of all those missions he refused to assign to you, able to make out every step of the way. Seeing his form disappear into the distance, you wonder where the once-dark night had gone. 
‧₊.࿐ 
The door of your apartment unlocks with two distinct clicks, and you tiptoe inside as quietly as possible.
Taking off your shoes feels oddly easy when you're not being tackled by Mizuha while doing so, and you miss her warm embrace more than anything right now despite the struggle it would normally be. 
You don't bother removing the heavy clothes you wore for the mission; instead, you head straight to Mizuha's room. Her door is slightly ajar, a sight that causes your first full smile of the night. You push it further open, creaking at your touch and from across the street, the light of the neon sign from the convenience store casts a pleasant pinkish hue along the walls. Her body is splayed across the bed, hand hanging from the mattress with her favourite stuffed animal dangling off in a loose grip. She looks peaceful, and it eases your mind that nothing had happened while you were gone.
Tiptoeing as close as you can get, you kneel by her side, and you want nothing more than to tug a loose strand of her unruly red hair behind her ear and press a soft kiss to her forehead, but your fingers are still coated in dried blood, and your lips are chapped from all the running, so you hold yourself back for her sake. 
You wonder what she dreams about, whether a nightmare is plaguing her. Wondering if she'd come looking for you when she woke up terrified or if Mizu's already so used to you not being here that she wouldn't even bother checking your door.
If she'd wait, awake until you came home longing for someone to save her as you had. 
But as she sleeps, oblivious to the cruel world you had kept from her, the place in which the two of you were created, you made a promise to yourself she'd never have to feel as you did, sleeping with doors closed and locked, fearing that no one would pull her out of this darkness.
You leave her room and close the door just far enough so she can see your boots at the entrance and know you're back home. 
Finding your way into the living room, you see a hand dangling off the edge of the couch, and you hold back a chuckle as you approach with much less intent to be quiet.
Suguru looked a little sweet, splayed out on his stomach, limbs hanging over each corner and the back of his sweater riding up a little. You could make out some old battle scars you still remember as gashing wounds in the infirmary. 
Picking up the blanket he always refused to use, still resting neatly on the couch table, you try to cover his entire body with the soft material, and a content mutter leaves him in his sleep at the warmth.
Never had you expected a sorcerer of all people could sleep so peacefully.
You kneel by his side for a while, envying him, and the apartment is filled with nothing but the humming of the refrigerator and the soft ticking of the clock. Despite trying not to look, you catch it just out of the corner of your eye when you finally make your way into the bath to clean yourself up.
Midnight.
You sigh. You couldn't wait for this day to be over.
‧₊.࿐
07th August 2001, Kumamoto
"Taki…" you yawn, rubbing the remaining sleep from your eyes, body shivering despite the warmth of the rising sun beyond the mountains.
"What are we doing out here?"
Your brother doesn't bother answering you, only walks closer to the pond, kneeling and leaning forward to catch a better glimpse of the fish. You join him, gaze darting between the water and his awestruck face. 
"Haru, did you know that Koi can actually get sunburns?" He proclaims absentmindedly as he observes them swimming slowly and patternlessly, as though they had just been woken up as well.
You hum acknowledgedly, attention shifting to his hands, clasping onto his knees, wrapped in bandages and calloused from the hard training.
"Probably not as bad as you, though," he turns to grin at you, and after giving him a playful shove, you kneel beside him, shoulder to shoulder.
You listen somewhat attentively as Mitaka starts listing the names of each fish, pointing at them so quickly you can barely follow his fingers.
"These ones are called Kin Showa! And this one's a Kohaku. You know, people say every pond begins and ends with Kohaku Koi," He smiles at you briefly, waiting to see your reaction, delighted to know that you were still paying attention.
You try to grin, but in your peripheral, you catch some of your red hair peering out underneath the black, and you hold it in yourself to sigh, knowing the aching process that would await you. 
"-and these ones are called Hirenaga! Because their fins are so different, see!" He grips onto your shoulder, shaking you in excitement.
He keeps his hand there, holding onto you as his eyes trail after them in silence, and you admire the look on his face and how he glows as he smiles.
"I want to be a Koi fish in my next life," he whispers, and it's saddened and so genuine you don't find it in yourself to laugh.
"That's what you dragged me out here for?" You grumble under your breath nonetheless.
Just a second, you take your eyes off him, and in the next, you already see him, losing his footing, falling forward.
You hold onto his arm and pull him back so forcefully that you both tumble into the muddied ground.
"What is wrong with you?! Gods, shouldn't the Great Dragon of the Jung Clan have a little more grace than that?!"
You yell at him just quietly enough so your sleeping parents won't be able to hear.
He grumbles at you and wipes some of the dirt from his pyjama, pulling himself away from your body. You didn't mean to snap at him this way, and you knew that your parents and Yaga were already giving him a hard enough time as is. 
"We both know I'm not…" he trails off and takes a few heavy breaths. Instead of finishing the sentence that burns so heavily on his tongue, he stares off at the Koi fish again ― longingly. 
"Once I'm old enough, I'll leave Jujutsu behind and become a fisherman, like Dad. I'll walk around the coasts of Jeju and fish in all the seas. And I'll take you with me, Haru, and you can grow Lotus flowers."
He beams down at you, and you can't find it in yourself to hate him for how easy he makes it look to dream of a life so beautiful, so easy and without guilt or burden.
That morning, he gave you hope, and as your nails dug into the dirt, watching him lean over the pond once more with no fear of falling, you realised it tasted bitter like magnolia berries and honour. 
‧₊.࿐
07th August 2006, Tokyo
Suguru woke to the sound of your humming, a song he had never heard before, something sizzling on the stove and a small gasp from Mizuha's lips from where she sat down on his chest.
Slowly adjusting to the light, he smiles up at the little girl, who giggles and lets go of the loose strands of his hair she was just playing with.
"Good morning, sleepyhead!"
She gives him a toothy grin, and he sits up, holding her in one arm to ensure she won't fall. Mizuha nuzzles her face into his sweater, and he plants a soft kiss against the side of her head.
"Is your sister making breakfast?" There's a playfulness in his tone, as it was established in this apartment that you only entered the kitchen as a last resort and always with resentment and rage. 
Mizuha leans back to meet his eyes with a nod, and at the horror-filled look he gives her, she tells him that it actually smells good today.
Suguru decides then that there is no time for his usual dozing around and gets up with your sister still attached to his hip. Gently, he strolls over to you, back turned towards him as you mix and place another batch of batter into the pan.
He leans against the kitchen counter and lets Mizuha hop from his arms as soon as she starts wriggling to get out of his grip, letting her run off into her room.
"I thought you hated cooking," he muses, now that the two of you were alone.
You hum at his comment before turning around and accusingly pointing your spatula at him.
"I'm baking."
Suguru holds up his hands in amused surrender and walks around the counter to stand by your side and watch you flip the pancakes.
"And why are you baking then?"
Suguru can see it in your face, bloodshot eyes and jittery hands, your body very clearly running on its last bit of energy. He wishes he could have woken up sooner and offered to make breakfast, although he doubted you would have let him anyway. Still, he is overwhelmed with a desire to stroke his hand over your cheek and order you to rest for at least a little while. Even if it's just sitting on the couch together and letting him gently brush out the knots in your hair as you lay in his lap. His hand twitches to inch towards you.
"Did you sleep at all?" Head tilts a little forward to see the bags forming under your eyes, only filling him with more worry.
"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to," you glance up to meet his eyes and scrunch your nose teasingly at him, and he doesn't find it as amusing as you do at all. You avoid his stern stare by walking away and placing the last of the pancakes onto the plate.
Reaching for various toppings to go with them, you arrange them all on a tray, and Suguru reaches for it, but you pull it back before he can even graze it.
"No touching! Come on, just tell me what you're hungry for," you smile.
His eyes dart from honey, chocolate sauce, and magnolia berry jam up to your eyes. 
He wonders if it would be so wrong of him to say you.
After finishing breakfast, not even your stubbornness can hold him back from offering to do the dishes and Mizuha, who had noticed you almost falling into your food five times, was also ready to help out so that you could rest.
Banned from touching any kitchen utensils, you can only stand against the counter and watch them wash and dry the plates in a cute domestic rhythm.
"You know," you try speaking over the running faucet, "I think you should really get home soon, Suguru. This is what your third- fourth night here?"
"Are you kicking me out?" He grins, avoiding the actual topic.
You sneer, "You know your mother is worried sick about you. She's already started texting me about how you are."
"Yeah, well, if she's really that worried, she should call me, don't you think?"
You walk to stand by his side, attempting to meet his eyes.
"I think she knows her stubborn son won't answer no matter how often she calls."
With a sigh, he washes and dries off the last plate, affectionately ruffling Mizuha's hair before helping her down from the stool.
"Yeah, well, it's not like I'm needed at home. Here, on the other hand…," he trails off playfully, and you kick his foot with yours.
"What? You're saying I can't wash a plate on my own?"
"Well…"
"Mmm, okay. Now I'm actually going to kick you out."
Suguru grins at your empty threat and follows you to help pack the stuff he left in your living room.
"I understand it, you know…" he begins as the two of you collect his books and put them at the bottom of his backpack. 
"That you want to be left alone today."
It feels weird, and you're left to question if that is what you want as you mindlessly hand him his last sweatshirt and watch him zip up his backpack with a slight struggle.
To be left alone, you think. What a bunch of nonsense syllables. 
‧₊.࿐
"Do we really have to?!"
"...we have to, little lady."
"What if I just wear a hat?! A reaaaallly big hat!"
Ayaka chuckles at your idea and continues mixing the hair dye together.
"I don't think that would work. Besides, when I dye your hair, you and your twin will truly appear identical! Don't you want to look like the Great Dragon of the Jung Clan, hm?"
"I don't wanna look like that wuss." You mutter under your breath, folding your arms angrily in front of your chest.
"Little lady!"
From the window in the bathroom, you can see Mitaka failing terribly to hold his balance or bow during his training session, and it distracts you from the cold feeling on your scalp as she begins to apply the paste.
Ayaka has been working for your family for as long as you can remember, always with a delicate, polite smile, calling you little lady and never by your first name like it wasn't actually her who told you stories of the stars when you couldn't sleep at night, who caught you after you took your first steps, who'd put money under your pillow for every tooth you lost. 
"Ayaka…" you murmur, still entranced by your brother, mentally thinking about how you would have dodged Yaga's attack, what you would have done if you were him.
"Yes, little lady?"
"Are you scared of me?" When you catch your reflection, you can't help but pout about how absurd you look, black dye coating the top of your head and big stripes on your eyebrows.
"Well…right now, maybe," Ayaka can't help but giggle, as though it wasn't her who had defaced you this way, brush still in her hand.
"You know what I mean…people think I'm–" You take a hesitant breath, focusing on how the red disappears under the black paste, just barely shining through.
"...not a good person."
You could always tell when Ayaka was lying to you; her cheeks would flush, and her eyes would fall closed, as they were doing now.
"That's not true! Lots of people–"
"Don't lie! I know what mom is scared of, you know? I'm not stupid! I hear her late at night, pacing around. Yelling at Dad. She thinks I've inherited Karma's Technique, doesn't she?!"
As those words leave your lips, she suddenly clutches you by the shoulders, staining the old baseball shirt your father had given you and searches for your gaze in the reflection.
"Little lady, you mustn't speak her name so loud!" It burns a little, and you wonder if it's the chemicals seething through the fabric or her nails digging into your skin. She peeked out of the door, making sure no one heard you.
"I just don't get it," you pull yourself free from her grip and sit down on the stool, leaning your head on the windowsill as you watch and wait for the dye to set.
"You will when you're older, I promise," Ayaka beamed and pulled the plastic gloves from her hands, throwing them into the trash.
‧₊.࿐
"I still don't get it."
Suguru rolls his eyes at your casual shrug. 
"I'm starting to doubt you actually read the book, you know…"
"Excuse me?! I read that stupid book front to back, I'll have you know!"
The beeping of the elevator saves the two of you from the rest of the petty argument you were going to have, and Suguru gives you a sour look, partially because you're "kicking him out" and because you fail to understand the literary masterpiece he had loaned you so graciously. 
"Well, then keep it. And read it again, with your eyes open."
"Ha. ha, very funny. How 'bout you start sleeping with your eyes open, freeloader!" You start pushing his much larger body back into the elevator, to no real avail, though he still steps back for you.
"I'll come by later tonight." The doors start closing, and he tilts his head so you'll still see how serious he is about it. "You better be sleeping by then, or I'll knock you out!"
You scoff with a grin and hear the elevator rattle into the lobby. Lingering a little in the hallway, you hear the door across from yours open with a hesitant click.
"Kazu…?" Yukari mumbles from the other side, barely peaking her head out to look at you. Your eyes soften, and you instinctively trail into her arms before fully realising what you're doing. Her embrace is warm, and you still remember when your face would barely reach above her neck, but now you were almost towering over her, head leaning down to put your cheek on the crown of her hair.
She pulls back and cups your cheek with one hand, studying it with a pitying smile.
"I've missed you…why don't you get Mizuha, and you two come over for a cup of tea, hm?"
Her apartment still looked as you remember it, and you mourn your middle school years a little as you recall sitting in the seat across from you, tongue poking out of your mouth in concentration as you'd finish your homework until the sun would set.
Now that you were mostly living in the dorms, it was Mizuha who would always sit in that chair, you wonder, despite how ecstatic she was when you told her you'd get your own little apartment and she could decorate the room however she liked if Mizuha still thinks of Yukari's place as her real home.
Yukari pours you a tea, pulling you from your thoughts as you smile at her with a small "Thank you." Mizuha had long abandoned the table, prancing around the rooms and watering all the plants she hadn't seen in days.
"Is my brother treating you well? He's not too hard on you, is he?"
You chuckle at the thought. Yaga is probably somewhere getting his hands dirty with low-grade Curses for you right now.
"No…if anything, I believe he underestimates me."
Yukari laughs softly, knowing better.
"I doubt that's the case, my dear."
From the corner of your eye, you catch Mizuha in the kitchen to fill up her little elephant watering can again. Yukari had offered to watch her, thinking you'd rather spend time alone today. You were going to protest, but you didn't want to worry Mizuha more than you already had and simply thanked her.
"Mizu, are you standing on a chair?"
She turns to you, eyes wide and almost dropping her can, "Uhh…no! Of course not!"
She gives you an innocent grin, and with one jump, she suddenly disappears behind the countertop again. Eyes squint as you can clearly see the chair's backrest being pulled out of the kitchen hastily.
You click your tongue, and Yukari places her hand reassuringly on top of yours with a knowing smile.
"She's just like you when you were younger."
Your brows furrow, "That's what I'm afraid of."
She squeezes you a little tighter, staring at your hands and reminiscing when yours still fit perfectly in her palm.
"I went to the 5th-anniversary memorial at the Kamo shrine today…" Her voice is careful, and you can tell it's shaking by how she squeezes your hand a little tighter.
"I wonder sometimes…what you were like back then."
She recalls the painting they had on display, and despite how different you looked, Yukari felt her heartache at the sight of you, eyes closed and happy, so innocent and oblivious to the fate that would await you.
"Because your smile…"
Her hand leaves yours to trace your cheek again, her pointer finger gliding over the tender skin of the scar beneath your eye and her thumb finding the one on your chin.
"...it was lovely."
You let out a sigh, mixed feelings, your chest aching at the thought that Yukari was hurting. You don't have the heart to tell her you don't remember.
‧₊.࿐
7th August 2001, Tokyo
The Kamo shrine looks threatening, drenched in the rain, and it seems the clouds were only getting darker behind its grand pointed roofs. The giant Torii gate was a dull shade of red, decorated with luxurious, delicate ornaments and writings in bold golden lettering.
May fate find you, even in darkness.
You remember the saying from your mother's prayers at the dinner table, and you can feel her nervously kneading your little hand around in hers at the sight. Truly, you couldn't remember the last time she had touched your skin so willingly. 
"Are you scared, mom?" Your brother utters, tilting his head up at her. He looked weird, wearing the expensive black and red Montsuki that he had only been allowed to unwrap at your last birthday before it was stored away safely, now drenched in the rain.
You were wearing a Kimono of your own in similar colours, receiving strange looks for wearing such heavy material on a rainy day like this as the three of you hiked up the endless stairs. 
"Of course, I'm scared, Mitaka," she says this so harshly even you flinch a little, and you were used to every displeased tone that would leave her mouth, but this was different, fear wavering in every one of her breaths. It seemed strange that someone like your mother could ever feel scared. An emotion you assumed was only reserved for your brother and you.
"We'll get their approval, right?" She utters.
"Right," Mitaka and you reply simultaneously, and your mother reaches for the wooden ladle and begins to pour water over her hands, just as she had taught you to do when arriving at a shrine like this. You wonder how the rain that had drenched you on the way here, falling onto you directly from heaven, wasn't pure enough.
"I can't do this, Haru," your brother suddenly whispers, pulling you down to look at him. "Can't we do it like last time? Swi-"
"Taki, it's too late. You can do this," you grab his shoulders, "Mom trusts you, and I trust you. Just do your best, okay?"
"And if it's not enough?" 
There's no time to answer as your mother calls you to the basin.
‧₊.࿐
7th August 2006, Tokyo 
The memorial was lovely.
At least from where you could see it, standing just outside the shrine, glancing through its opened doors. 
On the opposite end, you could make out the painting Yukari was talking about, just barely seeing it illuminated by the candles and surrounded by the smoke of incense.
A shaky sigh leaves your lips, and you still feel as small as you had five years ago, the Torii towering over you, resentment and fear churring in your stomach as you read the familiar phrase, still etched into it with slightly faded gold, over and over again.
May fate find you, even-
"Are you gonna go in anytime soon or…"
You jump at the sudden whisper directly in your ear, and instinctively, your elbow finds its way into the person's stomach, who stumbles back at the impact. 
"Gojo!" you shriek, and your violent display turns a few heads, embarrassed you pull him down the stairs, away from the main entrance. 
"Don't sneak up on me like that!"
Finally getting a good look at you, Satoru's eyes widened, partially because of how pretty you looked dressed up but more because of your concerning condition. 
He ignores your scolding as always.
"Wow, you look… rough."
"Thanks, idiot. You really know how to make a girl feel pretty."
"Don't be like that! I think the sleep-deprived look is hot," he shrugs with a smirk, looking you up and down again, and you groan.
"What exactly is it that you're doing here?"
"My parents sent me. I'm representing the Gojo clan, mourning the death of family friends," he gives you a light shrug, and you squint your eyes at him.
"Well, I can tell you're heartbroken."
"Hey, don't blame me! Hard to feel sorry when I know one of them isn't even-"
You lounge forward and slap your hand over his mouth. Anger is welling inside you, and you fear it does not have as much to do with his words as you portray.
"Don't."
You shove him, a little harsher than the last time you had practically thrown him into the maintenance closer, "Gods, you're an insensitive asshole sometimes." Picking up the bottom of your yukata, you stomp away from him.
Satoru finds you moments later, sitting on one of the giant stairs, playing with the pebbles you found and arranging them in a looped line before you.
"I'm…sorry."
You don't acknowledge his presence, though the shadow he cast on your pebble arrangement was awfully irritating, and he sighs before continuing.
"I was being an ass. I just never had a brother, or a sibling for that matter… Not that I think that excuses what I said. I mean, I know your brother is- well, I'm sorry that he's…gone." 
Death was nothing new in the sorcerer society, and for a family like Satoru's, saying their condolences was a rehearsed speech at that point. As you hear him stammer over his words, you can't help but smile, realising they are somewhat genuine.
"Well, I appreciate your attempt at being honest," you look up at him and pat the spot next to you so he knows you're not mad anymore. "even if you suck at apologising."
"Hey, I'm always honest with you," it sort of slips out, and when you turn to him, he suddenly feels exposed under your gaze despite it being what he usually longed for.
"Sureee, you are," you retort, disbelieving, thinking you can see a lying glint behind those eyes. 
A silence settles between you. Not wanting to argue again, Satoru just scoffs, leans back on his hands, and stares into the cloudless sky.
"You know, I actually met him once...I guess you probably won't remember, but our mothers used to be friends. So sometimes, when she'd come over, Mitaka and I would play in the garden."
Satoru chuckles at the memory, failing to mention that he also vividly remembers seeing you, standing by your mother at all times, reading or writing or otherwise occupying yourself with study when you weren't needed.
His mother would swoon when you'd gently bow before approaching her table and offering to pour her another cup of tea or to restock the small tray of treats. She'd gush to your mother how she had also always wanted a daughter after Satoru and how impressed she was that you turned out to be so well-mannered and kind.
But Satoru could see how longingly you glanced at the grounds where he and Mitaka were playing, and when he had recognised that look of yours, something pulling at the depths of his soul, and he felt his heart beat for the first time that day.
"Your brother was a terrible fighter," he chuckles before fearing he was being insensitive again. But with one quick glance, he also sees you chuckle a little into the hem of your sleeve.
"Yeah, he really was."
A split second passes by, and the silence is comfortable. Satoru feels much better sitting beside you.
"Well, if you're scared to go inside, I can go with you, you know…" He fears you don't understand him and would believe he was implying you couldn't do it alone, but today, it feels like you're finally talking the same language.
"I'd really appreciate that," you smile, and when he gets up and reaches his hand out for you to take, you think of accepting it for a moment.
The shrine looks luckily much different inside than you recall; the giant black pillars don't seem to tower so threateningly anymore, and as you pass by the big steel lamps that had looked like clouds hanging in the sky, you realise you could reach them if you stretched out your hand.
But as you enter the main room, your breath is just as jittery as it was five years ago.
It still looks like a hauntingly empty chapel, on the opposite side a big round glass window with the memorial, and as you make your way over, you think you feel yourself walking through your brother's blood every step of the way. Subconsciously, you reach for the sleeve of Satoru's yukata as you had done with your mothers when you were here the last time.
He notices and wants to give your hand a reassuring squeeze but stops himself, despite how hard it was when he could feel your fingers grazing his.
He lit the candle he had brought, which looked expensive but pretty nonetheless and when you ask, Satoru tells you he picked it himself. Standing so close to him, you could feel the warmth on your skin before you pulled away and let him set up all the remaining offerings he had brought.
You step around the memorial with careful steps, and you feel weirdly exposed as though the people in the shrine, although few, were all watching you, whispering among themselves. 
The fear drowns out when you stand in front of the painting, a humble but elegant gold frame surrounding it, and you still vaguely remember when the original picture was taken at your 9th birthday party.
You can't help but chuckle, seeing his tooth-gap-filled grin and remember how your mother would scold you whenever you'd knock one of his baby teeth out during training. Your hair looks just as strange as you remember it, completely black, yet next to the natural colour of your brother, it still seems a little red-brown.
In the painting, though, you can barely tell, considering the photo's only light source was the candles on your cakes. Your hand reaches to twirl a strand of red hair around your finger, basking in the fact you hadn't experienced the excruciating process of hair dying in so long.
Engraved into the frame, it reads.
"Mitaka & Miharu - Met the Fate of an Honourable Sacrifice"
A feeling bubbles in your chest that is somewhat indescribable, aching and pulling at the thought that this is your brother's legacy. Is this how he would have wanted to be remembered? Was this better than the fate that would have awaited you if people were to discover what truly happened that day?
Satoru's hand on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts.
"Hey…you okay?"
You smile up at him in a way that makes him think he's never seen a genuine smile from you until now.
"Yeah," you murmur breathlessly.
"It's not as bad as I thought it would be."
You turn to look at the picture again, and Satoru joins you.
"I just look stupid smiling," you shrug.
"What?!" Satoru gasps, head snapping towards you.
"That lil' dumbass had nothing to smile about," you point accusingly at your younger self, and Satoru jumps to her defence.
"Hey! Don't be mean to wittle Haru," he gives the inanimate object puppy eyes and pretends to scratch your younger self's cheek, receiving scolding looks from some of the elders.
Leaning forward, he takes the chance to get a closer look at the accuracy of the painting.
"I didn't know you've always had that scar." The one under your left eye looks somewhat old in the picture, and you think the person who painted it must have taken some creative liberty in making it a little fainter, knowing that it was more than recent on that day.
"Yeah…I remember when Taki and I got our first real weapons, he accidentally slashed my cheek open during the first practice because he tripped and fell," you smile, "that's when it was decided I'd be the one to get the sword and he'd get the bow."
"Just sounds like he got a weapon with more range to get you with," Satoru reasons, and you can't help but chuckle. 
"Yeah, but he didn't have the aim anyway."
Your fingers reach out to trace along the engraving of his name.
"It's nice," you smile. "To see him again."
After another moment of melancholy lingering, you tug at Satoru's sleeve one more time, signalling you're ready to go.
As you reach the bottom of the stairs, about to part ways, Satoru finally does what he's been itching to do all day and reaches for your hand.
"Hey, do you maybe…," he pauses, "want to do something? Together? I just thought it would help to get your mind off things. We could go to the museum or the park, somewhere quiet."
You smile at his offer and still turn to stare at the floor hesitantly.
"I don't know, I just…"
"Look, I know I'm probably not your first choice when it comes to spending your day with someone, but we can just hang out at my place?"
Everything in him is screaming at him to be fully honest.
"I just don't want you to have to be alone today. If that's okay."
You wonder whether he's asking if it's okay that he wants to spend time with you or that he worries about you in the first place, though no matter what it is, your heart swells at the sentiment.
You look him in the eyes. The blue looks inviting, you think. Summer really suits him. 
"Okay," you smile and let your hands fall into his, waiting for him to lead the way.
‧₊.࿐
Despite the sun shining brightly through his windows, Satoru's home is colder than you remember.
A shiver ran down your spine as you entered the apartment, barely filled with a splash of colour outside of gold accents and a bit of dark brown on some of the furniture. The rest of his home was a mixture of well-coordinated modern industrial with marble counters and leather accents and traditional Japanese opaque fusumas and washi lampshades.
You sit on his couch, careful not to stain it, knowing it was worth more than your whole apartment complex and watch with a bit of disgust at the number of sugar cubes Satoru throws into the tea you've so lovingly prepared for him. 
You tell him about the missions you've been doing at night and the things you and Mizuha would get up to during the day, and while he worries about your health, he is simply glad you come back alive and somewhat well and are safe in this moment with him.
When you've long emptied your tea, and the conversation falls into a relaxed silence, the fruit tree in the corner of the room catches your attention, and you're shocked you hadn't seen it earlier, considering it was the only thing adding colour to the whole apartment.
Satoru smiled as he watched you, glad you were finally less tense. He had almost contemplated pouring his whole cup of tea onto the couch just to get you to ease up a little and show you all these things were nothing but objects.
"I just thought something living would make the house look a little more…homely."
He explains the plant and enters the kitchen to put your tea cups in the sink.
"Living…?" You mutter under your breath, which Satoru still hears somehow.
"Hey. Don't get sassy. It looks like a perfectly healthy lime tree."
"It looks like it's clinging onto its last bit of life." You walk to join him in the kitchen, reaching for a glass and filling it with water.
"And it's a yuzu tree, by the way."
Looking around, you reach for the scissors you see in a small cup on the kitchen counter and head back into the living room, hoping to resurrect the plant somehow.
He follows you and falls down onto the couch again, head tilted as he observes your nursing with a curious look.
"But the fruits are green."
"That's your own doing!" You scold over your shoulder, sitting on your knees as you pat down the earth, confirming it's scorched and watering it evenly.
"And besides, Yuzu don't normally ripen until October," you explain.
"I thought all fruits are ripe in the summer…"
You give him a disbelieving look before reaching for the scissors and searching for any dead branches you could cut off. 
"Mizuha would have your head for this, you know. She loves taking care of plants."
"Really?"
Satoru gets up and walks to kneel beside you. 
"Yeah, it's because our neighbour- well, she has quite a few of them, and Mizu always stays with her when I'm at the dorms," your voice trails off somewhat sadly at the thought before you put the first few branches into your lap and continue cutting.
"She's a lot like our brother in that sense. He was obsessed with fish and other sea creatures because-" You catch Satoru's smile and suddenly realise you've been ranting.
But before you can even think of apologising, he holds out his larger hands in the shape of a bowl and lets you place the cut-off branches into them as you continue working.
"Go on?" Gojo asks, almost pleadingly.
"Well… it's because our father would always tell us about his adventures on the sea. Throughout the year, he'd leave a few months to visit his hometown and always return with lots of stories and the most delicious Codfish. Taki always wanted to live in Jeju when he grew up…But his Korean was really bad."
You smile. It had been a while since you'd talked about these memories, and you realised just now how much you were bottling it up, how nice it was to tell Satoru about this and not as scary as you had initially thought it would be.
Your tone softens as you continue.
"I always admired that. Having something you want. And dreaming so freely of it too, I don't know, it sounds a bit stupid when I say it."
You take the branches and dead leaves from his hands and walk to throw them into the trash bin in the kitchen. When you return, you tell Satoru that he must move the tree to a spot where it gets more direct sunlight, and during the winter, it would probably be best to make sure it isn't exposed to the warmth of the house so the fruit can grow properly.
The two of you sit on the couch and admire the sunset as the Yuzu stands in front of it, its outline blocking just enough of your view.
You smile at the sight, and Satoru speaks up, still deep in thought about your earlier words.
"I felt that way too, you know," He glances at you before his eyes fall to his fingers, playing with the rings on them.
"When I was younger…I always knew I would become the leader of the Clan one day. I had no hobbies outside of training and studying. Every hobby I picked up was kind of…boring and pointless, really."
He recalls his primary school years when everyone had invited him to join their clubs just for the sake of winning, and no matter how good he was, he never got invited to go to the convenience store with them after the games to buy the only cheap sweets they could afford as a victory treat.
"In primary school, I…was never really included in anything, and I still don't know if they were scared of me or just didn't like me."
He remembers how they all started to avoid him once he quit the hockey team and started keeping to himself, hearing all the rumours and comments they made about him regardless. Their laughter was filled with malice, pity, and jealousy.
"I still don't know what's worse."
He shrugs, and you lean forward to look for his eyes, covered by strands of white hair falling in front of them.
"I mean, they were probably intimidated because I was so awesome! But I actually kind of liked playing hockey, so I was a little sad back then..." he explains, and you can tell even as he chuckles that there's still a bit of sadness.
You put your hand on his leg.
"I can imagine. The ice probably brings out those cold, dead blue eyes perfectly."
He gives you a nudge with his elbow, and when you shift to dodge it, you also turn a little to face him subtly.
"Well, I would have been your friend," you confess, somewhat mindlessly.
"Why? For the money?" He gives you a teasing look, and you bump your shoulder into his.
"No, I mean, it's definitely a bonus. But no," you reassure Gojo, "I think…we both could have used a friend back then. And it would have been nice to have an actually good sparing partner, you know."
He scoffs, humoured. "I would have won, but okay."
"Sure, in your dreams, maybe." He is probably right, but what was your purpose in this friendship if not to keep him humble.
"You know, actually…now that you mention dreams, I've been having this dream about you lately and I-"
"Ew, Gojo. Don't make this weird now, I was just feeling sorry for you." 
‧₊.࿐
07th August 2001, Tokyo
Your brother is close to unrecognisable; a large cut on his forehead drenched his whole face in blood, and his eyes were barely keeping open anymore, breathing erratic and jagged at the same time.
"I'm tired," he croaks, and you wince when he coughs pinkish spit onto your arm. 
You hold him even closer, and as carefully as possible, you pull his head into your lap. You don't know which bleeding to stop. It's so much you can't even tell where it's coming from anymore.
"It's going to be fine, Taki." Your voice shudders, and you wonder if he can tell you don't believe your own words. 
"We'll be home soon."
He gives you a gentle nod and tries to smile, but his whole face burns and aches, so he simply lets his eyes fall closed, trusting you to bring him home.
You tear your gaze away from his body when you hear your mother, begging with her head to the floor, pleading to the Higher Ups who still sit unphased on their gold-decorated cushioned chairs. 
The man, whom you recognise as a member of the Hei, and the Commander's biggest bootlicker, swings his katana in one swift motion. You can feel the gust of wind piercing even from where you sit on the other end of the room. The blood of your brother splatters off his blade, some of it landing on your mother's face.
"Please, Commander Enkai. Don't do this, he's-"
"Weak," Gakuganji interrupts and speaks for the Commander, still sitting unbothered, sipping her tea. "That's what he is. Are you really so foolish as to insult your Clan's honour with this?"
Their gazes shift towards Taki's limp body, cradled in your arms, and it is only Enkai who doesn't miss your shallow stare.
"As if you hadn't done enough by dirtying our bloodline with a fisherman's Curse. Don't think some lousy Inherited Technique the boy can't even use will change your fate, Koharu," the other Kamo of the Higher Ups grins.
Your mother's face was unrecognisable as tears streamed down her cheeks.
The Higher Ups laugh so loudly it echoes through the room, and you don't recognise your mother's face as tears stream down her cheeks.
You take a deep breath, eyes focusing on Enkai Kamo.
Blood Manipulation ― Compulsion
A shuriken, dark red and hard as steel, pierces through the air, and silence falls on the room as soon as it splits open the Sandalwood Backpost of the Commander's chair.
The man, who had beaten your brother half to death, did not have the time to fully grasp what was coming his way and a small gash formed on his neck, just deep enough for the blood to drip steadily down onto his white uniform.
Enkai lets out the last of the startled breath she was holding and is the first one to speak, realising what you had done with the blood of your brother that had been spilt so brazenly.
An intrigued smile would have found its way onto her face as she pulled the throwing star from her chair and inspected the blood of your brother you've compressed if it weren't for you, charging at the man still standing on the battlefield with an ear-piercing scream. 
"Who do you think you are?!"
Despite jumping at him with such speed you almost stumbled over your own feet, he still finds enough time to react, and with the end of his katana, he lands a blow on your cheek, and you hear something crack. Falling to the ground, you can feel flesh pulsating under your busted open skin.
His chuckle makes your blood boil, and you don't think as you activate your next Technique. The only thing echoing through your mind are all the nonsense syllables you've been told over the years ― honour, vengeance, fate, purpose, glory.
Approaching you presumptuously, he grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls back his other fist, charging directly at your face. Your focus stays on his eyes, pupils dilated, nothing but barbaric bloodlust behind them and your own mirror them almost identically. 
Karma's Technique ― Overturn
Angry patches of red sizzle and cover your skin, and you ignore the aching as you reach for his face and scratch at anything you can get. He throws you to the floor when you make contact with his left eye.
He stumbles back. Seeing your advantage, you jump to land another blow when suddenly your whole body freezes in its movement and for a second, it feels as though even your heart stands still.
With much strain, your gaze shifted back towards the Higher Ups, and the Commander finally got up, her hand stretched out towards you, holding you in place with her Technique, one of the most powerful in the Kamo Clan, to control another's blood and bend it to their own will.
"Fascinating," she utters and releases you, falling to the floor and gasping for air, your heart pumping at a speed you've never known.
The man is kneeling just a few steps away from you, screaming and writhing in pain as dark red markings cover his skin, patchy blood red like the one that had slowly started to disappear from your skin, find themselves onto his now, covering his whole body and sizzling as they burn themselves through his flesh.
So entranced by what you've done and the agony you can see in the one eye he could still keep open, you don't notice the Commander walking down from her podium to grab you by the wrist. She didn't seem scared to experience the same fate as the Hei member, as you both knew she could kill you in an instant if she wanted to.
"Karma…?" She hums, somewhat pleased, and throws your body, still unable to properly move back onto the ground.
She walks back up to her chair, placed in the middle of the sizeable half-moon-shaped table and speaks with her back towards the rest of you, all either sobbing or dying at her feet.
"Jung Koharu, I punish you exiled from the clan for as long as your children live."
The man's upper body was still somewhat intact, and the burning red patches started eating at his flesh. He interrupts her announcement.
"Ple- please, Commander, save me. Save me, for fucks sake!"
She kicks him off her leg with disgust, muttering to the closest guard to "get that idiot a nurse or something" before she wipes off the stains he left on her pants and sits down again.
Your mother attempts to protest, but the guards grab her by the arms and slowly start to drag her out of the shrine, another carrying the body of your brother.
You watch them leave through what little vision you have left, still unable to concentrate on anything else than your ragged breathing as you twitch on the floor.
"And you," everything feels drowned out, yet the Commander's voice is clear as it rings through your head. You feel your body being lifted harshly, thrown over a guard's shoulder as he carries you to a different side of the room, one you had barely noticed before.
You can feel yourself inching closer to heat, and your instincts start to kick in just a little too late, your attempt at escaping his grip useless as your head is suddenly thrown against cold steel.
"Let's hope we meet again, little Haru. So I can grant you a proper death."
You hear ringing, and suddenly, everything hits you all at once, the heat that feels so close, the cold anvil you were pressed against, the sadistic stares of the Higher Ups.
"But for now…" she smiles. "Let me give you something to remember me by."
You feel the guard pull something out of the fire, and as it sizzles against your skin, the only thing that runs through your mind is the way the sunset in that large window behind them, the radiant glow that fell from their table and failed to ever reach you.
‧₊.࿐
You wake up with a gasp, your head pulling away from where it had comfortably rested against Satoru's shoulder, and your frantic panting pulls him from his slumber as well.
Your hand snaps to reach for the skin behind your ear, disappointed to find soft, scarred skin, erasing any hope that this dream was a nightmare rather than a memory.
Satoru looks worried, but you can barely hear him over the headache and the thumping of your heart as you excuse yourself for overstaying your welcome and stumble towards the entrance.
He reaches for your hand, but you're gone too soon, and the door slams in his face. He sighs, the warmth of your head on his shoulder still lingering.
The walk home passes by so quickly despite the fact it took you close to an hour by foot; the whole way, it feels as though your head is underwater again, lotus swaying and your voice drowned out as memories of Miharu haunt you with every step.
You only realise how late it has gotten when you arrive at Yukari's door, and she opens the door with half-lidded eyes and a blanket draped around herself.
You find yourself standing by the couch, frozen at the sight of your Mizuha, where she had fallen asleep waiting for you to pick her up five hours ago.
You kneel by her side, and this time, you allow yourself to stroke the soft lock, ticking her nose away from her peaceful features.
"Mizuha knows today is hard for you. She wasn't mad," Yukari whispers, bending down a little to rub your back.
"Still, it doesn't excuse that I- I should be better than this. For her." Carefully, you pick her up and carry her into the room the two of you used to sleep in when you still lived here. Yukari had already made the bed, and you placed her down and draped the soft covers over her with a dejected smile.
The two of you sit silently for a while, finding comfort in the clock's ticking, knowing that the day is finally nearing its end. 
Yokari places her hand on your cheek, letting you fall onto her shoulder, stroking your hair as she used to do in those first years you lived with her when you were still plagued with memories nearly every night.
"Mizuha knows you're doing your best to keep her safe."
You give her the best smile you can muster before pulling yourself from her embrace and walking to the door.
You sigh, and your voice is shaking as you speak.
"It's not enough."
‧₊.࿐
The bath water feels a little hotter than usual today, and it prickles your body as you watch the slight movement along the tub's edge with every shift in position.
It frustrates you that this isn't as relaxing as you had hoped for it to be, and you clench your fist and dip your head under the water, staying there and enjoying the quiet that greets you.
You come back up with a gasp when you hear two clicks just outside the bathroom; reaching for whatever is closest, a blue toy boat from Mizuha, you aim it at the slowly creaking open door.
With a soft smile on his face and his hands covering his eyes, Suguru peaks his head through.
"Do you want me to wait in the living room?"
For a second, you contemplate throwing the boat anyway, not even to test if he was peeking through his fingers but really just to see if he'd react fast enough.
But you decide against ruining the toy and glance down at the bubbles that reach so high they even cover your hiked-up knee.
"No, it's fine, you can come in."
His eyes find yours, and you don't feel the least bit exposed as he sits down on the edge of the tub, perhaps because you miss the way Suguru stares hungrily at every bit of skin he can get, attempts to remember the soft curve of your shoulders to the edge of your collarbone, gulping when he sees one of the Symbols trailing down and disappearing behind the bubbles.
It's not even your body alone that riles him up right now but the fact you felt comfortable enough to let him see you, and he does his best not to let it show.
"What were you going to do with that?" He nods at the small toy you are still holding, and you place it back to the others.
"Knock you out, of course."
"Oh, really?" He muses before leaning a little closer over the water to get a better look at your face.
"You slept a little, didn't you?" He states this with so much joy that you realise it would feel weird to tell him who you were snuggling into during that nap, for some reason.
"A bit, yeah…"
"I'm glad. Do you want me to get you some clothes to get changed into?"
You nod at him, rinsing off the last shampoo in your hair as he disappears into your bedroom. You're in the midst of drying yourself off when his hand pokes through with fresh garments, and you place them by the sink with a smile at his choices for your sleepwear.
Even after you're dressed and your hair is only a little damp, you look pretty, and Suguru hoped he could finally help you get some well-deserved rest, if nothing else.
He sits by the edge of your bed, and you stare at him with half-closed eyes. Casual, mindless conversations fill the room as he tries not to smile at your drowsy words that barely make sense.
"I was in Kumamoto," he confesses, "at the grave. It was nice. Lots of candles and offerings. I saw that picture of you and Mitaka as well. You looked cute as a kid."
You assume it must be the same picture you saw today, considering not many other happy photographs existed.
"So you don't think I'm cute now?" You slur, hands under the pillow as your head snuggles further into its soft fabric.
"You don't need me to tell you that." He reaches over to push a strand of hair behind your ear as he recalls the picture, "But…I do think the red suits you better."
His compliment makes your heart swell and ache a little at the same time.
You're a little scared as you place your fingers on the hand still resting against your cheek, fearing you might hurt him, but his eyes, filled with trust and admiration, reassure you enough to lean into his gentle touch even further.
"You didn't have to do that, you know. Travel all that way just for me."
"I know, but I wanted to. And I think…I needed it to get away from Tokyo for a while. It was nice, the train ride was pretty, and I walked around the mountains. I placed some incense for you on Mitaka's grave."
During his explanation, you see his eyes dull for a moment, brief enough so you don't think of addressing it.
You intertwine your hands and move them to rest gently between you as you sit up.
"And I placed some incense on yours as well."
He still recalls pulling out the lighter you had once lazily scribbled your initials on ("So whenever you light a cigarette," you had giggled, "you're reminded I disapprove of this!") and lighting the small wooden stick with it. The corner of his mouth had tugged upwards at the thought you'd also disapprove of this.
"I did it for me. Mostly. It just happened when I saw that picture of you," Suguru trails off, "I've never seen you smile like that. So, I had something to mourn. In that moment."
Looking back at you, he wonders whether your eyes are watering or just glassy from the lack of sleep. But for once, he can't bring himself to reciprocate your gaze, confidence wavering under your intense stare and his own travelling down to your intertwined hands. 
His heart is racing at this point, and the only thing on his mind is how soft your skin is.
You lean up, and finally, his eyes find yours again, briefly. Right after, you can see them shutter closed as your lips find his, softly grazing at them before pushing yourself further against him, hand squeezing his as you kiss him, fully.
He allows himself to be selfish. Just for this moment, he doesn't think about anything else, not even Satoru or the fact that you're quite possibly the sweetest thing he had ever tasted and how he knew everything else would pale in comparison. He moves his other hand from where it was clutching your blanket to holding your face, pulling you into him so desperately, finding every bit of exposed skin he can get his hands on, stroking along the curve of your jaw before letting his fingers trail down your soft neck.
You pull away and look at him with hesitance but a readiness he wasn't expecting. He had half hoped you'd push him away. Knowing how hard it would be to let you go again, now that he'd gotten a good taste.
Moments pass, and you never leave each other's lips. Suguru revels a few more seconds in the soft noises he can draw from you before he pulls himself away from your body with a shaking sigh.
"You should," he's panting, and he can't bring himself to look at you, staring up at him with such innocent confusion.
"Sleep. I will- I'll wait in the living room till you're asleep to leave, okay?"
He leaves your door slightly ajar and doesn't actually make it all the way over to the couch. Instead, he falls with his back against the wall, still out of breath, the look in your eyes never leaving his mind.
When he finally hears your soft snoring, he walks over to your side, relieved that you are finally getting the sleep your body has so desperately craved.
One more, he tells himself, unable to imagine how the aching could get any worse than this as he places a lingering last kiss on your forehead and leaves you to rest.
‧₊.࿐
07th August 2001, Kumamoto
Your skin aches.
And you can feel your whole body still trembling, threatening to fall with every shaking breath.
You've already grown used to the feeling of the water, cold where it reached just below your knee, standing so long and so still, the fish had already started to dare and inch closer to you. You're tempted to go further, hoping it will ease your burning. You wonder if the last bit of colour will wash out in the water as quickly as it had done in the rain and spread through the pond until it looks like black tar. Your hands are quivering now, almost entirely red, as they clutch and claw at the fabric, halfway drenched, pulling you further down.
You let your hand find the earth, just below the imprint that was still left from this morning, where your brother had fallen and with one touch, patches of blistering scarlet spread around the pond like a wildfire, entranced as the plants glow before they welk dark brown and black, the lotus, blooming to it's fullest before their roots wither and they fall into themselves. Even the Koi shimmer red, sunburnt, before they halt in their once playful movement.
This life of a Stray is no life you can live, you realise, and you can't tell if it aches that this is your end or that you don't find much to mourn. You walk in the pond slowly and steadily and join the fish in their lifeless floating underneath its surface. Even beneath the blackened water and foggy vision, the moon looks pretty, and you stretch a hand out until you can only see it through gaps between your red fingertips.
After a while, strands of red hair dance around you like blood vessels, beginning to block your darkening view.
You don't mind, contempt with closing your eyes now, when suddenly you see your brother reaching for your hand as he screams a name that isn't yours anymore.
You're too slow to stop him from falling as his skin finds yours so fearlessly.
Miyazaki Kazuha was born from dishonour and lived to be everything Miharu had never dared to dream of. 
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chapter 1 | masterlist | chapter 3
Hey guys! I know it's not much new, but I hope you still enjoy it!
even more so, i hope you've had a wonderful day and we'll meet again in the notes tomorrow!
love you, jae 🩵
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