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amputeewomen · 4 months

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Alena in the Snow (short story)

Once, during my high school years, I developed a crush on a girl named Alena. She was captivating in a way that seemed almost unattainable to me. We went to the same school, but she seemed to belong to a different world, one that I could only admire from a distance.

Years passed, and life took us on separate paths. Alena's parents lived not far from my place, a gentle reminder of a past affection, but with time, she became a distant memory, a flicker of teenage yearning that faded into the backdrop of my life.

However, fate has a peculiar way of reweaving old threads. When Alena was 23, she fell gravely ill. I only learned of her condition when it had escalated dramatically. She was hospitalized, battling a severe illness that resulted in the necrosis of her lower arms and both legs. The news struck me with a profound sadness, reviving emotions I thought were long gone.

Driven by a mix of concern and revived affection, I found myself at her bedside in the hospital. She was unconscious, unaware of my presence, but I stayed there, silently supporting her in her fight for life. It was during those quiet, somber moments that I realized the depth of my feelings for her.

Miraculously, Alena survived. I was there when she woke up, offering a familiar face amidst the disorientation and fear. In those vulnerable moments, our connection rekindled, growing stronger with each passing day.

As she recovered, I found the courage to confess my past crush to her. Her reaction was heartbreakingly self-deprecating. With teary eyes, she joked, "You surely wouldn't want to date someone like me now, disabled as I am." Her vulnerability was palpable, a mixture of humor and deep-seated insecurity.

Without a moment's hesitation, I assured her of my sincere feelings. "Alena, my affection for you goes beyond any condition. I would love to date you, no matter what." It was a moment of raw honesty, a declaration that transcended physical limitations.

From that day forward, our relationship blossomed. We fell in love, not in spite of our circumstances, but perhaps because of them. Our bond, forged in the crucible of adversity, grew into a deep, unconditional love. It was a love that celebrated not only what was present but also what was lost, and in doing so, found something truly beautiful. As Alena's recovery progressed, she was fitted with prosthetic arms and legs. This marked the beginning of a demanding, yet transformative rehabilitation journey. Throughout this period, our relationship flourished. We found strength in each other's presence, our bond deepening with each challenge we faced together.

We spent countless hours at the rehab center, where Alena demonstrated incredible resilience and determination. I marveled at her spirit; she tackled each exercise and therapy session with a fierce tenacity that inspired everyone around her. Despite the hurdles and frustrations inherent in adapting to her new prosthetics, Alena's progress was remarkable.

During this time, our relationship evolved from just dating to something much deeper. We found solace and joy in each other's company, and it wasn't long before we decided to move in together. It was a natural and exciting step forward in our journey as a couple.

Our first significant activity as cohabitants was decorating our home for Christmas. Alena, ever enthusiastic, dove into the task with her usual vigor. We spent hours hanging lights, setting up the tree, and placing decorations, transforming our living space into a festive haven. It was a heartwarming experience, filled with laughter and shared moments that I cherished deeply.

One evening, as we were putting the finishing touches on our outdoor decorations, a light snowfall began to blanket our surroundings in a soft, white layer. Excited by the picturesque scene, Alena stepped outside to admire our handiwork. However, still adapting to her prosthetics, she lost her balance on the slippery snow.

In an instant, I rushed to her side, but to my relief, she was already laughing, unharmed. The snow had cushioned her fall, and she lay there, smiling up at the falling flakes. I joined her on the ground, and there we were, lying in the snow, laughing together under the gentle glow of our Christmas lights. It was a moment of pure joy and love, a testament to our journey together, filled with challenges but also with laughter and unwavering support. Our love had not only endured but had become a source of strength and happiness in both our lives.

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bacchant-of-dionysus · 5 months

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Some thoughts on the concept and importance of faith

When I was praying today I was as honest with Dionysus as I’ve ever been. I told him exactly how I felt - that I felt like a failure, that I was unworthy of him and that I was utterly exhausted. I’ve been caring for my partner who is in the depths of autistic burnout and it’s been utterly draining. My skin has broken out, my jaw is tense, I have angular cheilitis (those cracks that form at the side of your mouth from stress), I’m nauseous, sleeping four 12-16 hours a night and still tired, my shoulders and back are aching and I’ve been neglecting my worship. I’ve barely recovered from my own bout of autistic burnout. I’m not out of the woods and I’m already martyring myself again in the name of love. It’s strange. I don’t do it out of a desire for praise or reward - I don’t even think my partner truly recognises how much effort I put in and how much of myself I give to her well-being. It’s not obligation either. The closest word for it is somewhere between love and duty.

Today I lay down by his shrine and closed my eyes. It felt like I was giving in entirely, placing all my faith in him. I know he watches out for me. I have so much faith. It is what keeps me going. Faith in my partner’s recovery, faith in my god, faith in my own strength and resilience. It took a certain level of hardship and desperation for my faith to be forged to its true potential. I never valued faith like I do now. I wear faith like armour around my heart. It reinforces my bones. Faith drives me to get out of bed each morning and try again. I may be sensitive. I may be thin skinned. I may cry a lot. But through faith I am resilient and unbreakable. I refuse to give up on her. I refuse to give up on myself. And I refuse to give up on my god.

When the world seems hopeless, the only thing left is faith. Not even religious faith, but faith in yourself, your loved ones, humanity, the universe etc.

So, if you take anything from this post, may it strengthen your faith. Faith drives courage, perseverance and resilience. It drives compassion, innovation and unflinching love.

At first, it is something you must remind yourself to have. ‘Remember, most people are kind.’ ‘Remember, she loves you.’ ‘Remember, this will pass.’ And then, one day, it is ingrained in how you think. ‘I will be okay because people are kind, I am loved and this will pass.’

The gods love you. Have faith in that.

#dionysus #hellenic polythiest #hellenic pagan #bacchus #witch #witchcraft #greek gods #paganism #helpol #hellenic gods

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doumadono · 3 months

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EMERGENCY REQUEST

So I love your stuff and ofc take your time. Im really sorry to inconvenience you with this request but I'm just very stressed.

I recently moved into a new house with my family and we have been slowly moving things in for months. Apparently the landlord left the door unlocked after he came in to make some final repairs and someone broke in and stole some stuff. Nothing huge, some tools, a toaster oven, drill bits. We didn't think they stole anything else and my family didn't see a reason to make a report till I started looking for one of my boxes I moved previously and it was gone. It had all my cross country stuff in it and I know it's not important to anyone else but CC is my LIFE. I've been running for almost 5 years So all my medals, plaques, times, banners, numbers, memorabilia from courses are gone. And I don't know what anyone would want with any of it. None of it was worth any kind of money but all of it means so much to me emotionally. I SUCKED my first year and it took so much effort to EARN everything. I'm scared they are gonna start melting down my metals or try to pawn them. I know it sounds vain and maybe it is but I was so proud of everything I've accomplished in cross country. I had a mental break down for about 30 mins to an hour and idk what to do. CC helped motivate me to recover from my Annorexia and one of those metals I won right after I got out of the hospital. Im 4'10 (I am a senior in highschool) Im already at a disadvantage considering my legs are half the size of everyone else's. I had to work so hard to be where I am now and all my reward for my work it's just gone because someone was bored? Wanted to make some extra cash?

Do you think If/when you have time you could write MHA comforting someone who's going through this? Maybe Shoji or Amajiki? Or whoever you want and think would fit. Im sorry again I know it's vain to want all of it back but it just meant so much to me.

Shoji & Amajiki with a friend who lost their CC stuff

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shoji

Shoji, noticing your distress, approaches quietly, acknowledging the pain without pressing for words.

With his calm demeanor, he approaches the friend, his extra limbs extending to offer a gentle, reassuring touch.

He speaks gently, "I heard what happened. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Take your time, but if you want to talk, I'm here."

Shoji respects your initial silence, patiently waiting for you to open up when you're ready.

He remarks, "Your achievements in cross country are a part of who you are. Losing them is like losing a piece of yourself, I bet but you still have the memories."

Shoji invites the friend to a quiet spot in the school, away from prying eyes, where they can share their feelings without judgment. "Sometimes, finding solace in silence can be more comforting than words."

Shoji suggests, "Let's work on a plan together. We'll search for your items and, if needed, involve our friends for more support. Even if the physical items are gone, your achievements and the strength you gained through cross country remain."

Amajiki

Amajiki cautiously approaches, "I heard about what happened. It's okay if you don't want to talk, but I'm here for you."

Amajiki silently sits with you, understanding that words may not be enough to express the depth of your pain.

He softly says, "Your achievements are not just medals. They're a reflection of your strength and resilience. No one can take that away."

Amajiki's gentle demeanor encourages the distressed friend to open up slowly, sharing the pain and memories associated with the lost stuff.

Amajiki softly suggests involving the authorities, realizing the emotional value of the stolen items. "I think it's important to let the authorities know. They might be able to help recover your belongings, and it's okay to ask for help."

Amajiki spends quiet moments with the distressed friend, acknowledging that sometimes, silent companionship speaks louder than words.

#emergency request #mezo shoji #shoji x reader #shoji mezo #mha fluff #mha headcanons #tamaki amajiki #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki x reader #amajiki tamaki #bnha fluff

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aes721 · 2 months

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Prisms of rainbows and light shining through the cracks in my heart, mind & life.

My mental space was clouded, filled with turmoil and confusion.. but I seem to be seeing more clearly now.

Honesty has gotten me here. The days of isolation & self reflection were a must.

Many hours & days of reflection and choice.

Choices to be bitter or better.

Gratitude, & thankfulness.

A flow of constant love & peace that comes straight from Gods spirit is within our reach at all times.

The genuine laughter is springs of fresh water for my tired soul.

Doors opening because of acceptance, realizing how far Gods Grace has really gotten me.

I am safe.

I am held.

In spirits presence I am free to be. Simplicity is a gift, But we have to choose to receive it. Minds are resilient. They will believe everything we tell them.. our minds will go crazy and obsess over the smallest most insignificant things...

Minds can & will also grow, they will heal. Minds can & will learn to recover.

Hearts will feel alive.

This is my wish for the world.

One day at a time.

One MOMENT. A SECOND, at a time.

That’s where the momentum starts. We didn’t come this far, to just come this far.

So continuing to fight is what we must do. But not fighting alone. Fighting with prayer, with belief and trust that God and only God can make the wrong things right in our lives.

After all- he is everything, or he is nothing. Choices.

We make them.

Choose wisely. ❤️ 🫶

#healing #poetry #growth #sobriety #makeartnotwar #words #wordporn #poem #writing #thoughts #peace #gratitude #choices #prespective #metanoia #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #positivity #grace #betternotbitter

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katsu28 · 1 year

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hello kait!!! i’m out shopping and u have the most delicious lollipops i’ve heard 🍭- may i get stevie with the prompt: “just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. not in that way, at least. unless you want it to mean something. i don’t mind. that’s cool.” i entrust u to make the scrummiest idiots in love <3 a thousand congrats for 1k, it’s so so so very deserved as you are such a sweetheart and oh so talented and i love seeing u on my dash !!! MWAH

ruby baby thank you for shopping at my lil store i love u!!! i'm so sorry this took me forever, but i hope you like it <33 idiots in love is such a steve trope too omg FUN

steve harrington x reader, idiots in love, 1.7k

“Don’t look now, but Brenda just walked in—I said don’t look, dingus!” Robin’s words seemed futile at the speed Steve’s head whipped around to where she was staring over his shoulder, his eyes instantly landing on the unmistakable permed blond currently sauntering into Scoops Ahoy.

He swore, ducking behind the partition quickly, before she caught a glimpse of him. “What do I do?”

Robin’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “How ‘bout…I dunno, try to be a normal person?”

“I’m serious, Robin!”

“I am too.”

“You’re no help at all.” Steve huffed, scanning the shop for something, anything to allow him not to keep constant tabs on Brenda. His prayers were answered when he spotted you in one of the booths near the counter where you typically were when you took your break at the smoothie place across from Scoops, and he beelined for you instantly, making a run for it when he made sure she wasn’t looking and sliding in across from you.

“Hey!” He chirped, cringing inwardly when his voice came out a lot louder than he’d meant it to.

It always tended to happen when he was around you, because as embarrassing as it was to admit it, he’d gotten himself caught in the oldest trap in the book. The ‘being in love with your friend who definitely doesn't feel the same way’ trap. A very sticky situation to be in, but Steve had accepted his fate in the friend zone. And if telling you was the way he’d lose you, he’d gladly stay there forever.

You jolted a little bit, head whipping up from your book in surprise but recovering quickly when you saw it was just him. “Steve, hi. My god, you scared me.” You smiled at him then, and Steve felt his stomach do a flip.

“Sorry.” He chuckled nervously, running a hand through his hair. “Hi. Good book?”

“Not really. Beats cutting my break short though, so I’ll grin and bear it.” You shrugged, marking your place and setting it aside. “You on break?”

“No, but don’t tell my boss.” Steve winked at you, holding a finger over his lips. You mimed zipping your lips and throwing away the key. “Just wanted to come hang out with my favorite friend.”

Friend. Right. Just another reminder that Steve didn’t feel the same way about you that you did about him.

“I think I might be one of your only friends, but thank you. I’m flattered.”

Steve lurched backwards dramatically in his seat, miming getting stabbed in the chest. His head lolled back, eyes screwed shut in faux agony as he let out a groan. “Right in the heart, Y/N! Do you see it? It’s all over the table now. Absolutely shattered.”

“You’re resilient, you’ll survive.”

“Only if you’re there to pick up all the pieces.” The words slipped from his mouth before he could grasp their weight, Steve only comprehending what he’d said when your eyes widened a tiny bit.

Your lips parted like you were about to say something, but closed a half second later, pressing into a small smile instead. Steve managed to smile back through the alarm bells going off in his head, casting his eyes off to the side to see—

Shit, shit, shit. Brenda was heading his way.

He moved without thinking, sliding his hand over yours where it was tapping on the table absentmindedly, ignoring the flutter in his stomach at the warmth of your skin. Maybe it was because you hadn’t registered that he was holding your hand but you didn’t pull away, and he took that opportunity to curl his fingers over yours, rubbing his thumb across the ridges of your knuckles lightly.

“Steve?” You wondered aloud, brows furrowed in confusion. His eyes flashed to yours momentarily, accompanied by a split second tilt of his head that begged ‘please go along with it’. Before you could think anything more, a sweet, sickeningly familiar voice filled your ears.

“Steve!”

You glanced over to see none other than Steve’s ex-girlfriend Brenda sidling up to the booth, smiling at him in a way that really didn’t seem all that sincere at all.

Suddenly it all made sense now. Steve was only holding your hand because she was here.

“Hey Brenda,” Steve greeted her casually, but his fingers tightened around yours just the slightest bit. Her gaze traveled from him down to your intertwined hands, then over to you like a predator zeroing in on its prey. “You know Y/N, right?”

“Sort of.” She replied shortly, offering you a fake smile before turning back to Steve. “Anyways, you should totally come to my party on Friday, Steve. You never go to parties anymore, remember how much fun yours used to be?”

Yeah, Steve remembered his parties, but fun wasn’t the word he’d use to describe any of them. His idea of fun now was the two of you sitting on the couch, throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths while watching shitty rental movies from the video store next to the arcade.

“Uh…sure, maybe I’ll swing by.” He bobbed his head, and her fake smile turned rather smug when she glanced back at you.

“Perfect! I’ll see you there then.”

Steve watched her go, making sure she was safely out of earshot before letting his own smile fall, nose wrinkling. “Yeah, definitely not going.”

“Oh, but Steve! Remember how fun yours used to be?” You pouted at him, half mocking. He rolled his eyes playfully. “What? She obviously still has a thing for you. Maybe you should, I dunno, see if there’s still something worth saving.”

Your words may or may not have been a ploy to find out if Steve still had feelings for Brenda, or if the whole holding-your-hand thing was just a knee jerk reaction. To your surprise (and pleasure), he shook his head instantly, perfect lips turning down into a frown.

“No. I don’t—no.” His fingers twitched, and it was only then that he realized you were still holding hands. He retracted his slowly, a little more jerkily than he’d liked, folding his arms over his chest before speaking. “M’sorry for putting you on the spot like that, it's just—y’know. Spur of the moment thing, wasn't really thinking.”

“Sure yeah, I get it. S’okay.”

“Was it?”

No, it wasn’t. “Yeah. Fine, really.”

“I’m really over her, if you were wondering.” He blurted. “Not that I was assuming that you were wondering, I just…wanted to put it out there. In case you were.” Now would’ve been a really great time for him to shut the fuck up, but as usual, Steve couldn’t control himself around you. “Just to clarify: me holding your hand doesn’t, like, mean anything, by the way. Not in that way at least.” He insisted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He moved to leave the booth right after, but turned back at the last minute, meeting your eyes once more. “Unless you want it to mean something. I don’t mind. That’s cool.”

All the air left your lungs, your body freezing up as your mind digested his words, very, very slowly. It wasn’t that you didn’t want it to mean something, it was that you were beyond shocked to discover that Steve did.

And maybe you should’ve been a little more peeved that he’d just dropped this bomb on you right after calling you a friend, but you honestly didn’t care too much. The only thing running through your brain was that your embarrassingly long time crush on Steve Harrington maybe wasn’t as one sided as you’d always just assumed.

You thought you might've seen his face fall a little bit when all you did was stare at him, but the disappointment was replaced with a good-natured smile within a split second, and you wondered if you'd been imagining his disappointment in the first place.

Steve nodded sharply, offering you a quick salute in goodbye as he started to backpedal towards the front counter.

You had an internal battle with yourself for what seemed like forever, your heart telling you to say something to get him to stay while your brain told you that saying something would ruin your friendship. Within seconds, your heart won.

“And what if I…did want it to mean something?” You called, steeling your nerves for his inevitable rejection.

That stopped Steve dead in his tracks.

Here it comes…

“Then I’d say I feel the same way.”

You slid out of the booth, tucking your book under your arm on your way to him. Steve watched your every step, waiting with baited breath until you were right in front of him, too close yet too far at the same time. He felt his nerves buzzing at your proximity, and when you closed the gap to press a tentative kiss to his cheek, they went haywire. Your lips lingered right over his skin a few moments longer, setting his face aflame in the best possible way, and if he turned his head just a few inches to the side, he could finally kiss you.

He always wondered what your lips would feel like against his. Soft, probably.

“I gotta go, my break’s almost over,” You murmured. Steve frowned, wishing you’d stay a little longer. “Come pick me up after work? We should talk about this.”

“Yeah! Yes, I can—sure. Definitely.” He blurted, cheeks burning as he fumbled over his words. "After work. I'll...see you then."

You just patted him on the chest lightly with the spine of your book, beaming at him once more before heading out. Steve wasn't ashamed to admit he was staring at the back of your head until you disappeared from his line of sight.

He turned back to the cash register to see Robin uncapping her pen, a gleeful grin on her face as she marked the one and only tally in the ‘You Rule’ side of the board.

“I thought you two would never get your shit together.” She said, pointing her uncapped marker at him. “Like seriously, never. Truly believed you were both gonna do that whole idiots in love thing for all eternity, and it killed me. So well done, dingus. You finally figured it out.”

“Shut up.” He muttered, fighting the smile threatening to stretch his lips.

"But I wanna know everything!"

"I'm not talking about this with you, Rob."

"You will. Eventually. I'll just be here waiting for you to spill the beans."

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington one shot #stranger things #joe keery #kait celebrates 1k!

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kittymaine · 7 months

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The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

I'm gonna try and use my tumblr as a book journal. Wish me luck buckaroos.

I finished The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers yesterday. It was my second time checking it out from the library. I had checked it out before, but had to give it back before I finished it.

I'm not a stranger to Becky Chambers. I read the Monk & Robot series and absolutely loved it and then read her novella To Be Taught, If Fortunate a few months ago. She's steadily becoming one of my favorite authors, so I'm definitely biased when it comes to her books, so I guess keep that in mind.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet is a story that will feel familiar if you enjoyed Firefly. A group of misfits, only some of whom are human, travel aboard a cobbled together spaceship from one side of the galaxy to another. We go along with them on family dinner dates and tense hostage negotiations alike. It's a story about found family, and surviving and thriving in otherwise unlivable conditions, and about adventure, of course.

I'll start with my likes, which were many. This is both a setting and character heavy book. It's hard to chose which I liked more or which were more important. It's unusual to find a book that balances them so evenly. The characters are all really varied, but also nuanced. And, not just in their species or physical appearance or races or genders or sexual orientations, although they are varied in that way for sure. But, they also feel like real, nuanced people with strong personalities and differences and biases and beliefs. But the setting is just as rich and well crafted. As our crew travels across the galaxy we meet a wide variety of alien species, all with their own way of communication, their own unique cultures and beliefs, and fascinating and unique physiologies. This is definitely an alien heavy setting and the aliens really FEEL alien, which I loved. There are politics and infighting and resource issues, but it feels real because our crew isn't being asked to solve any of their problems. They're just normal people trying to navigate dangerous waters.

I'm definitely a character reader first, but man this setting really made me question whether that was true.

The downsides are that if you're a plot reader, this book may disappoint you. I've heard people say it feels like it just meanders around, which I can understand. There is a driving plot, but it's basically just a frame. The ship and crew must get from point A to point B and most of the actual content happens in the in between. Also, the book sort of just ends. Something really heavy happens at the end and our crew is left shaken but resilient. I'd love to see how they recover from the ending of this book, but it's my understanding that the second book doesn't follow them but another smaller character that shows up right at the end.

All that being said, I really really REALLY loved this book and I am 100% down to read the rest of them. I highly recommend it to scifi fans who are okay with a character heavy story.

#booktalk #becky chambers #wayfarers #the long way to a small angry planet #booklr

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davnittbraes · 2 months

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Hi Davnitt!

I have come to your ask box today with 3 Marcus Pikes and I desperately need to know which one you like the best and why…

Thanks in advance for the essay you are about to write 😉😘

Me?? An essay??

My friend, I really don’t know why you’re under the impression that I wouldn’t simply respond to this lovely ask with a straightforward and succinct answer, that just doesn’t sound like me AT ALL.

So anyways -

In this essay I will demonstrate which of the three Marcus gifs submitted I like best and why.

In the first gif, we have post-Teresa Marcus, still carrying the weight of a broken heart while trying to put his life back together. See the sad puppy dog eyes? The nervous smile? That delectable beard isn’t for an undercover job, as he so claims. It’s obvious Poor Bébé is grasping at anything in his life that he can control, any way he can alter the present to be different than the future he dreamed of with her that he now realizes will never come to fruition.

And yet, as we know, Marcus is resilient, unable to stay down for long. There’s a glimpse of it in his gaze, the unwavering confidence that is already guiding him toward realizing the truth - that Teresa was an uninteresting, immature woman with sociopathic tendencies.

Also, that NECK omg I just wanna BITE it nom nom nom and the SMILE??? My heart 🥰🥰🥰

The second gif -

*pauses to physically and emotionally recover from Marcus Pike in a white t-shirt*

- gives us a slightly defensive Marcus, one who is confronted with a perceived threat to his happiness (aka the man he obviously suspects his girlfriend is in love with) and a particularly inspired choice of camera angle where the viewer is subjected to the very same broad chest and shoulders that have so many of us shifting in our seats.

Though on the surface he is displaying his typical politeness, there’s an underlying general aura of “back the fuck away from my girl” that, for those of us who find the idea of him metaphorically growling at anyone who might steal us away attractive (re: me) demands multiple replays of this particular gif.

Plus his hair is so fluffy here like it’s just begging for fingers to run through it and grip and pull -

Ahem okay anyways MOVING ON.

The last gif submitted for consideration is the essential Marcus Pike gif. Do I have a source to support this argument? Yes. Myself. Fight me.

The gentle gaze that radiates sincerity, the clearly and firmly stated reassurance that he is patient, forgiving, and will be ready whenever she is? His heart isn’t just on his sleeve, it’s in his eyes as he looks at her.

This is my favourite Marcus gif, ever. Not only because of the points stated above, but because this gif ultimately inspired my I’m Here series. I wanted to capture the essence of this gif and distill it in my own hurts and pains and flaws and see if the result was anything meaningful.

But when I went to write the first part of the series, I thought - my Marcus has lived so much since this gif. He’s been through heartbreak and betrayal, made rash decisions and put too much of himself in other people’s hands.

In my series, he’s worked through all of that in therapy, learned how to hold relationships without demanding everything from the other person - and himself - all at once, and how to find the validation he seeks in himself, not others. He’s no longer obsessed with obtaining his perception of a perfect life, focused so determinedly on the future that he misses the importance of the present.

I’m Here Marcus is grounded, centred in the moment. He knows what he truly wants, and that is a partner who will walk side by side with him along whatever path life lays out.

So, where once he said “I’ll be here,” implying he will wait for when she decides to come to him, now he says “I am here. For you. Be here with me, now.”

In conclusion, though all submissions resulted in me staring at gifs for much longer than is healthy, the third is my favourite 😊

And if you’ve read this far, I’d like you to know that you’ve read approximately 600 words of deranged rambling about a minor character in an objectively terrible television show. Do what you will with that information.

Thank you for the ask, my darling Katie 🐙

#another davnitt essay #this time upon request!#did I put too much thought into this #probably #marcus pike fanfiction

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spaceyshideaway · 5 months

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𝐻𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝐵𝓊𝓉𝓉𝑜𝓃

When reflecting on my life, I realized it was nothing but a Sisyphean journey. Obstacle after obstacle, and just when I think I've made it to the top and can finally breathe, my boulder will fall back down the mountain... pulling me down to hell like a deadly ball and chain. As Ellis Grey once said, "The carousel never stops turning. You can never get off." Life goes on regardless of whether you are ready, and there is no time to catch up. Therefore, I have decided to take charge of my life. I will explore the depths of the universe, wander far and wide, and try to understand why I have always felt like the universe's punching bag.

I am hitting the restart button and erasing my past. I believe that it is important to learn from your past, but if you let it define you, can you really consider it your past? My past has never been a shadow; it has always been mixed with the present, and I could never walk away from it. Today, I am reclaiming myself, and I am becoming someone else. I will learn to carry myself like the person I aspire to be.

With this, I have three goals:

Become healthy, both physically and mentally

Improve my financial situation

Gain self-love and confidence

I will become the best version of myself, I already see a therapist but it's time to find a psychiatrist, a primary doctor, and lastly overcome my worst fear... a dentist. This will be a challenge, I have had a huge fear of the dentist since I was 16, and they drilled into my teeth without proper numbing... I felt EVERYTHING. However, the person I want to be has great health and does not let fear control her, so a dentist appointment will come but first let's do the easy part!

I used to be extremely resilient. Started working at 16, in order to be able to have money to get away from my house. My father was always more inclined to help out my brothers so I knew from an early age that if I wanted to do anything in life, I had to provide it for myself. I think the best example of this was when I had to work for over a year to save up enough money to pay for college while my father paid for my brother's tuition. Anyways, COVID eventually came and my hours got cut at my job, and I had to drop out. Going from working 50 hours a week as well as attending school full-time, I had my first major manic episode. I never fully recovered and created a long list of job instability and mental instability. It's time to change that, in February I am starting a certificate program that will improve my qualifications to expand my career options. Until then, let's just get a job that will pay the bills.

Lastly, I want to know what it feels like to walk into a room and not feel small. I want to stand tall, with grace and flair. I want to be a powerful force of nature that leads with empathy and confidence. I want to take pictures of myself again, and not only walk the earth but leave a mark. It's hard to make an impact when I am constantly sitting in the corners or just not even showing up. I let clothes wear me and hide me, I try my best not to exist or step on toes. I put myself last because I believe other people will always be better than me. I'm not saying I want to be better than anyone, but I am saying that I just want to allow myself to exist unapologetically.

This is the beginning of my journey and the reclaiming of my power. I invite you to come watch, or if you are feeling up to it... come hit the restart button with me and we can guide each other. This is the community I want to build, and I hope to see you in it.

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nerdy-talks · 1 year

Note

I agree with your opinion and thoughts about Solomon and him asking us to side with humanity... I love solomon, and his ideas and priorities are admirable, really! But I'm pretty sure his ways of execution to reach those ideals and fulfill his goals, for humanity to be seen as a race worthy to be seen as an equal, isn't the only plausible way.

Not to mention that humanity can still be seen as a strong race without us having to hover at each other's throats and without instigating into an all out war. We can still reach a middle ground through our peaceful and understanding approach. Like us giving the grimoire to Lucifer, man was seething at Mc out of worry and fear for his brothers, which was completely understandable, but us handing out the grimoire could possibly give us brownie points into regaining Lucifer's trust back. I'm pretty the MC isn't THAT stupid.

So maybe the MC's approach through peace and trust is better than any of other race's approach, which is guided by their own power, biases, prejudice and preconceived notions, etc...

And sure let's say that Solomon is 100% on our side, the way he acts with us sometimes could really tip off our perspective towards him from good to bad and vice versa. And this man has the balls to warn us about time paradoxes and shi when he chose to make a pact with Asmodeus early than supposed to... you're the strongest sorcerer... just use ur powers to kill the spider bro or summon Barbatos instead early on instead💀 (Lesson 7?)

I apologize for my late response, precious anon! Yesterday was a little hectic, so I didn't see your ask until now ^^"

But I have a LOT to say, so hopefully this long-winded reply makes up for the delay lol

Let me start by saying that I genuinely appreciate your insight and I also agree with you 100%

I feel like there's still so much that hasn't been revealed to us yet, especially regarding Solomon's past. I've already given my own theories thus far, but I am particularly curious why Solomon thinks that war is even a viable option. What makes him feel this way? What exactly caused the last war he fought pretty much on his own?

Potential Spoilers

What I do find interesting is the information we have been given, though.

In 9-A, some of those prejudices and biases are shown when Solomon ends up in what is clearly an illusion of sorts.

And personally... I would absolutely love to debate and counter all of these assumptions and misjudgments.

In comparison to demons and angels... humans may be more prone to illness, injuries, and death. But that's literally what makes us human.

Despite this, I argue that it does not make humans fragile or weak. We are resilient. We rebound and recover from all sorts of terrible experiences. We survive and overcome trauma. We suffer loss yet do our best to keep our heads up. We fight and push forward through life. We may be human, but we are not to be pitied or underestimated.

I also argue the point of humans needing angels to "protect" us. Yes, there are humans who believe in guardian angels because that is what many of us were taught growing up. Humans want to believe in an afterlife, of a peaceful paradise after this life.

But what about humans who don't share those same beliefs? What about tragic events that occur every day where humans end up dying through no fault of their own? What about humans who feel as though God has forsaken them for whatever reason, whether it be due to illness, loss, or other unfortunate circumstances that have negatively impacted them? For those humans, it seems like no angel is looking out for them or "protecting" them.

My first argument to this mindset : What could a demon possibly understand about a human's path in life? That's like us telling Diavolo how to run the Devildom. It's a topic we are completely ignorant of, therefore we have no business calling the shots.

Not only that, but every single human being is different and unique in their own way. While one path may be good for one person, it may be detrimental for the next person. Also.... I believe that sometimes, humans need to lose their way in order to grow and become wiser.

Speaking from personal experience, I became "lost" more than once to the point where I used to cry and wish that it was possible for someone to come save me from the pain I was experiencing at that moment in time. But even if a demon magically appeared and offered to lead me someplace where I'd be able to find happiness... I would be highly skeptical. What is their definition of "happy"? How do they know I even have a chance at finding happiness? Where exactly would they be leading me? What would they want in return?

For argument's sake, I will admit that I may take a demon up on that offer even now. But it would be out of pure curiosity, not because I actually think I'd be able to find happiness. Which leads me to my next point : demons deceive humans with sweet words in order to drag them into the darkness

I have heard this saying and similar ones numerous times before (Luke even said something along the lines of demons using honeyed words to get others to do their bidding), and I feel like it is perfectly accurate in this scenario too.

Diavolo would be promising a lost, confused, and more than likely desperate human the chance to be happy, and all they would have to do is follow him to some unknown place. Seems way too good to be true, in my opinion.

So that's not "helping" humans.... That's confusing them even more and leading them further away from their path in life (at least within the Human World, since it sounds like Diavolo would take them to the Devildom/Hell. Though I'm just speculating there)

Then in 10-A, it is revealed that this illusion was conjured up by "Nightbringer".

Side note : since this is where Barbatos sent Solomon when he teleported him, it makes me question if Barbatos has connections to Nightbringer... or is somehow Nightbringer himself?

Either way, I found this question interesting :

Solomon is convinced that we share his beliefs and viewpoints, that we'll agree with him and help him fight for the sake of humanity despite saying that he is "not trying to make an enemy" out of either demons or angels .... Which as Nightbringer pointed out, is an awfully overconfident statement to make.

I found this both interesting as well as funny.

Solomon is against demons and angels judging humans, yet he is acting like he knows us inside and out. Don't get me wrong, I love Solomon too. But isn't that a bit hypocritical?

He may have a very close connection/relationship to us, but he obviously doesn't know our heart well enough if he honestly believes that we would turn our back on the brothers and support the idea of a war against them.

As you pointed out, anon... Solomon's delusions beliefs definitely tip the scales when it comes to us wondering if he's genuinely on our side or if he has some kind of hidden agenda that he needs our cooperation with in order for it to come to fruition.

And I absolutely agree with you! I don't know if Solomon has become senile in his old age or what, but he really went out of his way to warn us about the dangers of potentially altering the present if we do or say anything untoward.... Yet he goes and makes a pact with Asmo WAY sooner than he was supposed to. Uh, Solomon? What's with the double standards, buddy?

I really hate to say this, but it honestly does make me question if he used the whole "time paradox" spiel as an excuse to precipitate a conflict with Diavolo, Lucifer, and the others... Because Solomon must have known that if any of them found out MC was lying to them or keeping secrets from them, they would react accordingly (and yes, understandably so).

The latter was pretty much proven already, considering Solomon arrived right on time to save MC from Belphie once the brothers found out MC is actually human, then immediately proceeded to take them to a place where he thought they would be safe. It almost seems like it was planned from the start, if you ask me.

Another side note : And let's not forget where Solomon brought us. He was conveniently in reach of a grimoire that could successfully control Lucifer. Who has been wanting to make a pact with Lucifer for a very long time? Solomon. So I'm curious to know if Solomon did indeed plan all of this. If not to start a war, then maybe to try to force a pact with Lucifer? Because Solomon obviously knew that Lucifer was going to pursue MC and himself, hence why he brought MC to the Reaper's Cave (to get a bargaining chip... AKA the grimoire)

Side Note Number 3 : I find it especially interesting that the brothers threatened Solomon to bring MC back safe and sound. Is that because they suspect he might be up to something, too? Maybe they're worried that Solomon may try to use this opportunity to appeal to MC and have them side with him to escalate a war in the past, and that's why they basically used the promise of bodily dismemberment if he doesn't return with MC in the same condition they both left in.

Anyway, onto the next very important part :

I firmly believe the peaceful and understanding approach is the absolute best way to prove that humans are just as formidable as demons and angels.

My main reason for this belief is in regards to something Lucifer said :

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

MC knows the brothers better than anyone else. I'd even argue that at this point, MC knows the brothers even better than they know themselves.

MC can reach them in ways they aren't expecting, because MC can use their knowledge of the "present day" boys to properly handle them now. This has been shown numerous times already when MC helped them, encouraging them, and comforted them.

Even when MC gave Satan a few little tidbits about cats, it was a special moment between the two. MC knows that present!Satan loves cats, so they knew past!Satan would instantly be fascinated to learn more. Plus... What better way to quell the Avatar of Wrath's anger than an adorable, fluffy, purring little kitty? ^u^

MC also knew that Lucifer wasn't angry when he cast his spell and was lowkey threatening them. Instead, MC knew Lucifer was scared and worried about his brothers, that he didn't want to risk their safety because of some human who's intentions are currently unknown to him.

But I'm starting to get a little off topic here.... Let me go back to the statement Lucifer made.

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

MC can choose to blindly follow Solomon and side with humanity like he asked them to do, which may potentially lead to a war between humans, demons, and angels.

Or MC can choose to do things their own way.

As I said before, MC knows the brothers better than anyone else. So MC can reason with them and help them understand that MC only wants what is best for them.... Because MC loves them and cares about them (whether that's romantically or in a familial way is up to you, but it still remains true regardless).

And if MC chooses to do things their own way, which I predict is what will happen especially after the whole grimoire incident.... if that choice means that MC will have to go through a series of trials and tribulations, overcome obstacles and hurdles, and use every ounce of energy and effort to find common ground between the three worlds while avoiding war at all costs.... Isn't that the perfect way to prove just how strong, driven, tenacious, and capable humans are?

MC can open the eyes of both angels and demons to exactly what they, a human, can accomplish through sheer determination and willpower.

It can also be a wonderful opportunity to show both Simeon (an angel) and Lucifer (a demon) that MC (a human) is able to accomplish what neither of them did.

It was my own decision that precipitated the war.

Lucifer made choices that resulted in war. MC can make choices to avoid a war.

Simeon regrets not speaking up back then, not reaching out and actively trying to get through to Lucifer. MC can do the opposite. MC can push and fight to prove their loyalty and dedication to the brothers, they can strive to enrich everyone's lives in a peaceful and nurturing way.

Knowing those two, I am absolutely positive that MC will unequivocally earn their respect this way if they choose this path. And if so... Not so weak and fragile after all, eh Simeon?~ ;D

Most importantly :

If MC makes their own choice to deliberately avoid a war/conflict because of their genuine love for the brothers, it will prove that being a human, demon, or angel is completely irrelevant when there is a mutual level of respect and understanding between two (or more) individuals.

Because let's face it.... We all know every one of the brothers is weak for us and will support us in any way they can. Even Mr. GrumpyPants Lucifer has a major soft spot for us. We just need to work towards rebuilding our relationships, strengthening our bonds, and reforging our pacts with them in this timeline.

But I'm sure MC will accomplish that, in their own way, on their own terms ^ᴗ^

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thegoatsongs · 7 months

Text

"Jonathan is better after a bad night."

So despite his "rest" at the park, Jonathan has another bad, likely sleepless night. Those were supposed to be getting less frequent, but now he's seemingly relapsing.

"I am so glad that he has plenty of work to do, for that keeps his mind off the terrible things;"

Jonathan using workload as a way of escapism confirmed. However, we already know from Jonathan that when he was a clerk, he'd get bad dreams after working too hard for Mr Hawkins. So it's not a sustainable solution...

and oh, I am rejoiced that he is not now weighed down with the responsibility of his new position. I knew he would be true to himself, and now how proud I am to see my Jonathan rising to the height of his advancement and keeping pace in all ways with the duties that come upon him.

She's admiring his resilience, after telling Lucy in her unopened letter that she feels sad that the strength of Jonathan's sweet, strong nature was gone, and that Jonathan felt full of doubt about his ability to handle such a responsibility as managing a firm.

She kept telling him that she believed in him, and despite these rough days and nights, he fights on and pulls through. (It reminds me of when Jonathan had accidentally called himself a clerk and he corrected himself because "Mina wouldn't like that!)

He will be away all day till late, for he said he could not lunch at home. My household work is done, so I shall take his foreign journal, and lock myself up in my room and read it....

I'm sure that Jonathan is indeed busy with work, and if his memory has recovered well enough to remember dates maybe he's planning to get something for their 1 Month anniversary (the 24th)

But it's also possible that Jonathan, after meeting the man from his nightmares again (or did he? he cannot be sure! it's all so painful and confusing to him now!), maybe it's time for Mina to do her "solemn duty", if she chooses to.

Maybe Jonathan is giving Mina a choice. "Do as you will."

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #mina harker #dracula

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sunflower-snz · 7 months

Text

A Lesson in Resilience

ello ello :D Just dropping by to throw this out here. Written using my new fav wives which you can meet here. I 100% will take reqs for anything you wanna see with these guys so lmk :D Anyway! without further ado, enjoy and let me know what you think :D

。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

The dim, late afternoon sunlight filtered through her office window, casting a warm glow over her meticulously organized chaos. The stacks of papers, lab equipment, and open textbooks were a testament to her usually unwavering focus. But that focus didn’t quite seem to be so sharp again as Jessica re-read a paragraph for what must’ve been the fourth time now. She was halfway through her fifth attempt when a sharp twinge in her nose demanded her attention.

She paused, squinting at the words on the page as if they held the secret to her sudden discomfort. A tickle danced at the back of her throat, prompting an almost imperceptible cough. Jessica sighed and massaged her temples, a sign of rare frustration before she turned the page and continued to attempt the sudden itchy and twitchy feeling creeping down the bridge of her freckled nose.

Which worked... “Hhih’eeshiew!” for about 15 minutes.

Her curly brown hair fell clumsily in front of her face as she her head bobbed forwards suddenly. That one sneeze seemed to have opened the floodgates for what came next. She found herself constantly rubbing at her nose as it dripped insistently. Great. Just what she needed, Jessica thought to herself as she reached forward to swipe a tissue from the desk perched on her desk. Luckily, she did so too because not even a minute later, her breath gave way to a telltale hitch.

“Hih- hh-Hetshhiew! ‘ishhiew!”

The sound echoed in the empty office, and she found herself grimacing at the droplets left behind on her sweater as she lowered her elbow, muttering a quiet “Excuse me.” out of habit despite no one being in the room with her. By the time she'd finished marking up the report her nose was positively dripping, making her scrunch up her nose and sniffle softly just to keep it from running into view.

Normally she would never be caught complaining at work, she did love her job, but in the privacy of her office she allowed herself a small pitiful whine, dropping her now-congested head onto the table in defeat as her shoulders sunk. At least with her head like this it provided a little relief from the throbbing that had settled in her temples. The little comfort she managed to steal soon twisted into a crashing surge of remembrance. Within her head shot up from the desk, sending the room around her spinning in the progress, as she snapped to look at the time.

Shit!

She was already 5 minutes late to the lecture she was meant to be presenting and her hall was at the other side of campus. Jessica scrambled to her feet, quickly rustling her papers and messily shoving them under her arm before making a beeline to the door.

This was beyond embarrassing. She was usually so strict regarding tardiness, even going as far to locking the door when over half of her students didn’t turn up on time. By the time she’d sped walked to the hall Jessica was out of breath and breathing heavily her healthy swimmers' lungs seemingly being replaced by a congested, chesty counterpart as she leant against the frame to recover.

With a final clear of her throat, she pushed open the heavy door and slipped inside, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. However, the loud creak of the door drew the attention of the entire room. All eyes turned toward her, and she flushed with embarrassment, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks.

“Sorry! Sorry I just got caught up there,” She quickly made a dash to her desk, only she didn’t quite get halfway there before she stopped suddenly and bent forward with an unstifleable, “HE’eesSHhIEW! I am so sorr- HH'iiSHIEW!Hh..H.HH’TSHI!” She fumbled with her papers as she clumsily let them fall onto her desk, too preoccupied with keeping her nose under control in front of her students, Jessica sniffled wetly, pulling out a crumpled tissue from her pocket as she stammered to apologise.

There was a hushed whisper spreading through the room as several students exchanged glances and concerned looks at the sight of their usually ever so put together professor fumbling to turn on the projector to begin her lecture. It really wasn’t going so well.

Still, she continued, talking through the slides as they appeared on the large screen behind her. Her voice soon began to rasp on the edges of her words as the growing soreness at the back of her throat grew, marking each word with its grip, broadcasting her discomfort to the hall of students.

Unfortunately, the humorous irony of the situation was lost of her. How fitting that their epidemiology professor, one of the most upcoming minds in their field, Dr Jessica Lewis was sick. She was definingly sick, as much as she was trying to convince herself she was fine, there was really no denying it. Especially not when she could almost feel the end of her nose physically twitch in warning.

Trying to fight it just wasn’t worth it, but Jessica being Jessica. Of course, she tried anyway. The first two she managed to stifle relatively well against the back of her wrist, but the tickle persisted. Her eyes began to water as it teased her, refusing to give her the relief she so desperately craved yet no sooner had she began to talk through one of the key points on the board, she gave in to the overbearing sensation, turning away to in an awful attempt to muffle the following, “HEhh’TSSHHIEW!” in the crook of her sweater.

She would be lying if she said that hadn’t sent her a little dizzy and the white-knuckle grip, she had on her desk proved it. As such, she elected to sit for the rest of the hour, hiding what she could from the overwatching eyes of the student body. She hated feeling like this, so gross, so visibly contagious. If the roles were reserved and she was to find herself sitting in the crowd watching the scenes unfold she was positively sure her skin would be crawling with the sound of every raspy cough punctuating her sentences.

But as all things do, eventually the hands on the clock made their rounds and it was nearly time to finish. With her lecture almost over, Jessica decided she couldn't bear the discomfort any longer. She took a deep breath, hardly expecting it to catch in her throat sending her coughing into her elbow yet again before croaking out her dismissal, "I apdologise, everyone, for my... uh, coddition today. But I promise, I'll make it up to you. Please review the slides from today, and if you have any questiods, dod't hesitate to email me. I hope you all edjoy your weedked.”

The Doctor could feel the room, herself included, cringe at the thick congestion drowning her words as she spoke and it seemed that no one wasted any time in getting out of there, some ready to begin their weekend fun but most just desperate to get out of the same room as the cold-ridden professor. She was ready to leave too, longing to be home curled up in bed but she had an hour-long journey ahead of her before she’d reach the comfort of home.

Outside, the autumn air was crisp and cool, and Jessica's congested sinuses made every breath a struggle. She fumbled for her car keys, her fingers trembling slightly as she unlocked the door. As she settled into the driver's seat, she couldn't ignore the persistent tickle in her running nose.

"Ugh, not now," she muttered to herself as she started the car's engine. She reached for a tissue from the box in the glove compartment, but her sneeze came faster than she could react.

"Heh... HEH'cSHIEW!" Jessica sneezed forcefully into her hand, before hastily reaching for a tissue with her spare one – one which was promptly disintegrated into a crumpled mess as she cleaned herself up. She grimaced, tossing it aside with a disgusted grimace. She felt disgusting. Hell, she probably looked it too. If she was to pull down her car mirror, she was sure the red-nosed, pale reflection of herself wouldn’t be pretty to look at. She couldn't wait to get home, crawl into bed, and sleep off this illness. But in true fashion the traffic was unusually heavy, and every red light seemed to last an eternity.

After a long drive she finally pulled into her driveway, she couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. She grabbed her bag, tissues, and the remnants of her dignity before stumbling out of the car. Her steps were sluggish, and her body felt like it had been hit by a truck. And as such the wash of relief that washed over her when she pulled down on the door handle and it easily clicked open, was something that could be be put into words.

“I’b hode.” Her heavg congestion blurred her words as Jessica stepped into their coatroom, letting her heavy bag fall to the floor, not caring much for the saftey of the items inside.

“In here!” A very much welcomed voice called, despite everything sounding a little muffled, the direction it came from was still obvious. The kitchen.

“Hey love, you’re home pretty early.” Some soft was playing on her speaker as Rani swung her hips to the tune as she continued chopping up some vegetables, her short curly hair tied up out of her eyes, “I’m just making a start of dinner, I was thinking we could have- Oh baby, what’s wrong sweetheart?”

Any other thoughts were lost as Rani laid eyes on her pale, miserable wife shuffling through the doorway, “Goodness sweetie, come here baby.” She pushed her cooking aside, wiping her hands on her apron before opening up her arms wide for the brunette to sink into. Despite the height difference meaning Rani’s head only really came up to the bottom of her chin, it was an action that was undoubtedly appreciative

Her arms felt safe. Her arms were home. It was that sense of safety that finally allowed her exhausted body to give into itself, the weight of her cold crashing down on her truly as she was unable to do much other than weakly pull her girlfriend tighter to avoid misting her girlfriend’s back as she turned away with a miserable sounding, “Hih! Hh...HIH-hH’iishoo! Heh- Hh Hhh-H’etshhiEW!”

"I'b so sorry, Radi," She rasped with a wet sniffle, her voice hoarse and congested as she buried her face in Rani's shoulder. She could feel her wife’s warm and steady heartbeat as she continued to hold her close.

“You’re sick.” Rani spoke softly though even if Jessica wanted to deny it, her tone left no room for arguments, as she reached up with both hands to cup the older woman’s fever painted cheeks, “Bless you sweetheart.”

“You don’t need to apologise for anything love.” Rani whispered, rising up onto her tip-toes to press a soft kiss to her wife’s lips. When she was finished, she placed a loving hand on Jess’ back guiding her to one of the stools tucked into their island counter, “Sit down love. When did you feel this coming on, hm? You didn’t seem unwell this morning. Oh, poor love, goodness, bless you.” Her eyes widened a little at sight of her exhausted wife ducking down into her elbow with another 3 rapid sneezes, looking back up at her through weary eyes.

Rani turned on her feet and bent down to open the cupboard beneath the sink and pulled out a fresh tissue box, ripping off the seal as she handed it to her wife, “Here you go darling, blow your nose,” She instructed gently before giving some attention to the vegetables she’d neglected, “You been like this all day?”

Jessica sniffled weakly as she accepted the tissue box, the cool touch of the tissue against her nose providing a small measure of relief. She blew her nose gently, sniffling afterwards. "Since about lunch," she croaked, her voice barely sounding a little less congested now, "It hit me when I was marking then it just came on really fast and-” She hadn’t finished her sentence but was cut short by her throat objecting and sending her into a chesty cough.

“I had to give a lecture and it just so, so... so embarrassing. I’m meant to be so consistent, so put together and here I am, sniffling and Hih! mis- Hihh miseraHh’iiISHEEW! HIii'tSHHIEW! Heh’tshu!”

Rani couldn’t help but sigh as she passed her a handful of tissues/ Sometimes her wife held herself to standards so high that even when something so simple as a cold came along it managed to rock her core foundations. “Well, it sounds to me like you need a little bit of TLC, how does that sound? I’ll make you some nice soup and we’ll just chill out a bit, okay?”

Jessica wasn’t stupid. She knew she needed rest, but the ever-present pile of unmarked papers in the back of her mind nagged at her, “I just need to get some work done, then we can relax?” She mumbled behind a tissue, already knowing the reaction she was about to receive.

“Absolutely not.” Her wife folded her arms sternly as she turned around to face her, “Jessi, you need to rest. Not work, not worry, rest.”

The congested sigh that followed was a mixture of frustration and resignation. She knew Rani was right, but the thought of all the unfinished work gnawed at her. "I know, love, but I have deadlines and responsibilities. I can't just let everything pile up."

Rani shook her head and came to her side, gently taking the used tissues from Jessica's hand and disposing of them before placing a hand on her wife's cheek. "I understand that, Jess, but you won't be able to do your best work if you're not feeling well. Not to mention that fact you look exhausted baby. You’re in no condition to work right now, so you're to rest and if you want to have some of this reaaally good soup I’m making you then you’ll go off and change into some pyjamas or something cosy and get snuggled beneath a blanket on the sofa. Okay?”

Jessica looked into her caring eyes and knew she couldn't argue any longer. She nodded weakly, a grateful smile tugging at her lips, "Okay, fine, you win.”

“Thank you.” Rani smiled warmly as she watched her wife shuffle away in the direction of her bedroom. She watched Jess muffle a small, defeated sounding sneeze into her elbow and she couldn’t help but shake her head, softly muttering to herself before tending back to the soup.

“You’re definitely taking a sick day tomorrow professor.”

#snz #snz kink #snzfic #sneeze kink #snzblr #snz fet #f/f snz #f snz #f/f snzfic #wlw snzfic #wlw snz #J + R #snzkink #snzario #sickfic #🌻 fic

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t4llhum4n · 4 months

Note

thanks for reaching out, responding to your ask was a lot of fun!

if you would be so kind, i'd like to humbly request an analysis of sunshine (i am captain of the blake train but think they deserve some love ^^)

cheers!!

I am so sorry about taking so long on this!

I've been itching to finish writing this analysis since I started it a bit ago because Sunshine is literally one of the coolest listeners in canon.

Well, if not a little tragic...

Analysis (and spoilers for the Balance) will be under the cut!

Let's start with the obvious; Sunshine is one resilient motherfucker. Not only did they die, they encountered a world that no human -- unempowered or empowered -- even knew about. Even more, they're connected to it in a way that no one else is. See, that sounds cool as hell on paper, but imagine the mental repercussions of that.

Dying and coming back comes with its own trauma, no doubt, but later realizing that you living might be the thing that serves as a catalyst to end everything? How do you even grapple with something like that? Here you are, having come back from dying in a terrible car accident, working through the lasting effects that had on you mentally and physically, and then finally living your life with the partner of your dreams (hehe), only to have it snatched away by a quest that determines the fate of the entire world.

Personally, I'd be bitter as hell. According to the timeline, Elliot and Sunshine were just over a year into their relationship before this all happened. That's just enough time to settle into a new normal and begin to live a comfortable life with the person you love. But, instead of reacting with bitterness (because, as I'll get to later, I do believe that there is some there), Sunshine decided to personally, in all of their unempoweredness, get involved with the investigation. Don't forget, it was Sunshine who saw the opportunity to get deeper into CloseKnit's headquarters and took it.

Pausing for a second, I want to talk about why that might be. I believe there are two reasons: 1) a genuine desire to help Brachium like he helped them, and 2) an underlying want to expedite the process. At the end of the day, I fully believe that this, for Sunshine, started as a way to repay Brachium for saving their life. They remembered what he did for them, heard his concerns, and saw that moment as a way to help quell his worries. But no one is immune to a little selfishness...

Get it done. Get back to their life. As I stated earlier, it takes some serious strength to recover from what Sunshine has been through. That coupled with them settling down into an ideal life -- it probably felt like an achievement for them. This was what they had been working toward, and now it's being put on hold for this weird, magic, counterpoint thingy. At this point, neither Sunshine nor Elliot knew how deadly serious the consequences of these counterpoints were. Furthermore, Sunshine has even less context as an unempowered, even if they are "informed" on paper. So, what's the harm in speeding it up a little? Maybe, if they get all they need from this one-on-two meeting with the recruiter, Sunshine can finally go back to that amazing life they were living.

But, of course, we all know how that went. Here, I believe, is where bitterness comes into play. I think it's internal, like they're angry with themself for getting too hasty and putting Elliot in that situation. If they'd played it safe, like Elliot advised, then they wouldn't have gotten trapped in the basement, and they could've worked slowly from the outside. Despite both Elliot and Brachium reassuring them that it isn't their fault, I fully believe that Sunshine blames themself -- stuck in a loop of "if only"s.

Their demeanor with Blake is more resigned, which could be an effect of this self-hating spiral. In Sunshine's mind, they got a second chance, they tried to do good, but their yearning to return to their life with Elliot caused them to get reckless for the sake of swiftness, and now they're here. Laying out the events like that to themself makes it seem like it truly is all their fault. It's narrow, and it blocks out the bigger picture of the real villains: CloseKnit and Blake.

So when Blake asks Sunshine to follow him out of the room, they're surprised. They question him, wondering why he's not worried about them running off. Personally, if I planned to use an opportunity like this to escape, I wouldn't point it out, so this confused me at first. Then, I thought about it. What exactly would Sunshine believe that they are escaping to? At this point in the story, they fully believe that Elliot is walking around with only rotten memories of them. Escaping from CloseKnit would be akin to starting over once again, and you know what? That's exhausting.

They follow Blake. They do what he says; sitting there until Brachium decides to make contact. This whole time, Blake has been treating them as nothing but a catalyst -- a thing that can connect to Death. Maybe that's all they're good for. Maybe this is their new start...

Or, at least, that's how I see it. Honestly, you could read Sunshine as being a badass all the way through, and it would still work pretty well, I'm just a sucker for a character who is worn down from their experiences. In my opinion, it makes them more human, and I really appreciate it when I can relate to their characteristics! Sorry about this coming so late! Break has been a LOT busier than I expected. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this, and thank you for the ask!

#i will get to the rest #i swear #i really do appreciate you guys sending them!#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted the balance #redacted sunshine #redacted brachium #redacted elliot #redacted blake #happy holidays everyone!#and happy day to everyone who doesn't celebrate!#t4llt4lks

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