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hanniluvi · 9 months

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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 — TEN THINGS I HATE ; JAY FIC

“ I’ll do better, if you stay with me like this. ”

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ where jay keeps a journal where he documents all the reasons he hates you, his rival. despite claiming he will forever hate you, keeping this journal only makes him realize his feelings for you.

PAIRING rival!jay x gn!reader

GENRE angst, fluff — WARNINGS jealousy ; overthinking !

WORD COUNT 1.7K+ (1730)

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ soph strikes again!! angst cb, did we cheer?? anyways i was in the feels okay 😢 listening to music while writing really unlocks something in ur brain im telling you…idk what really went thru my mind when making this but enjoy 😊🫶

#1 – HOW YOU’RE GOOD AT EVERYTHING.

Is it normal to have a journal dedicated to someone you hate? Whatever, I just need to get this off my chest. Whenever you’re involved, it’s like I could have nothing I want. It’s stupid, but I don’t care, it just pisses me off when you easily follow instructions, perfect things on your first try, and get all the awards I wish to have. I admit, jealousy consumes me. It's frustrating how effortlessly you seem to achieve anything you want without even trying. Seeing your achievements plastered all over the school only intensifies my anger, making me wish I could tear your posters into shreds. I've never despised second place more than now. Why can't I find contentment with my own scores or position, just like you? How can I remove you from my life and find peace within myself?

#2 – HOW CHEERFUL YOU ARE.

How is it possible for someone to remain so happy throughout the entire day? I can't help but wonder if you possess some magical influence over my friends, as they seem to shower you with compliments non-stop. It's weird to hear nothing but praise for you while I find myself complaining about various things. It's almost as if nobody comprehends why I harbor such animosity towards you, and this frustrates me immensely. Every time I express my emotions, they tell me to laugh and smile more, as if I don't already do it enough. But then, when I contemplate your cheerful and positive demeanor, it becomes clear why they encourage it. You're like the epitome of a model student everyone aspires to be, while I remain the perpetually angry and stubborn person. No wonder everyone wants to spend time with you, and perhaps that's one thing I can agree with others on.

#3 – YOU LIKE THINGS THAT I LIKE.

It's almost like a curse that we share the same interests. It's the reason I keep encountering you everywhere. Whatever I do, you seem to be there, expressing your fondness for the same things with your friends. It's frustrating, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the thought of encountering you even more. Even listening to music has become a challenge, as I know you like the same artists. I purposely skip their songs because they only remind me of you, and I hate being consumed by thoughts of you. I yearn to stop learning more about you so that I can enjoy the things I like in peace, without these constant reminders of you.

#4 – YOU MAKE ME OVERTHINK.

Maybe because of how perfect you seem to be in other’s eyes, I wonder how I look in other people’s eyes too. Am I that awful to hang out with? Am I always seen as this angry person who hates everyone? I’m not that, I know that–my friends do as well. But others? I’m not so sure about that. What confuses me even more is why you persist in wanting to spend time with me despite any perceived flaws or stubbornness on my part. You could easily choose to be with other people who might seem better to converse with. Yet, you continue to stick around, refusing to give up on our “friendship”. And because of this, I can see how others might form a negative opinion about me. My constant push to keep you away could be misunderstood, leading people to believe I'm simply a horrible person.

#5 – YOU LIKE ME.

I'm not sure if you have romantic feelings for me, but I can tell that you consider me a friend. It's interesting because I hadn't thought of you in that way before, but it doesn't seem to bother you. Today, you stood up for me, and it felt really heartening. Normally, I might have felt angry or vulnerable when someone defends me, but this time it was different. I don’t know, it just did feel really nice. Your quick response in telling those people to stop was captivating, even though I didn't express my gratitude at the moment. Lately, I've been struggling with the loud voices in my head, and sometimes I wonder if you could help quiet them too. But now, I'm not sure what I'm trying to convey. You confuse me a lot.

#6 – YOU GIVE THE WRONG PEOPLE SECOND CHANCES.

The other day, I saw you in tears because someone had broken your heart. I must admit, I was taken aback because I had never seen you sad or upset before. It was quite a contrast to the cheerful version of yourself that I'm familiar with. What happened to you that everyone sees all the time? I hope you had someone to tell you your problems too, as it’s not easy for someone who is your rival to be comforting you. I didn’t, so I hope you went home that night filled with less worries because you have someone to talk with.

What surprised me even more was that the very next day, you gave the person who hurt you a second chance. I can't help but wonder why you keep allowing people to hurt you when it's likely they'll repeat the same behavior, ultimately affecting your radiant smile. Stop going back to the people that hurt you once, it’s only going to be a cycle. I wish I could share these thoughts with you, but I hesitate because I doubt you'd take them to heart coming from someone like me. However, I can't help caring despite my own imperfections. It's puzzling to me as well, as you make me feel oddly connected to your feelings.

#7 – SEEING YOUR TEARS.

I never imagined how much I could despise seeing someone cry until the moment I witnessed your tears. Ever since that day, I always thought about it, so how could I let it slip out of my mind this time? I’m sorry for yelling at you today. I’m sorry for saying I hate you. I didn’t mean it, I was just extremely frustrated today, and not at you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know how saying this won’t do anything, but I truly mean it. I wish I could rewind time once I saw water fill up in your eyes, but what’s done is done. You made me realize something crucial—that I've always seen you as a rival, whereas you only wanted to be friends with me. I allowed my competitive nature to ruin our chances of a meaningful connection. I fear now that you might avoid me, and I understand if you do. I worry that I might continue to hurt you, just like the people you often encounter, who don't treat you with the kindness you deserve. You deserve better than that, and I'm sorry for contributing to your pain.

#8 – GIVING ME ANOTHER CHANCE.

I never imagined we'd get another chance after what happened. I tried avoiding you, genuinely attempting to keep my distance. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't resist reaching out to talk to you again. It's almost as if we both sensed the need to address the situation, leading us to have that important conversation. I still don’t know why you gave me another chance. Did I not say hurtful things to you? How easily are you able to put that behind? Your ability to forgive and move past it leaves me in awe.

It's making me reflect on my own flaws, especially how I tend to hold grudges and struggle to let go of negative feelings. I can't quite comprehend how you do it, but you make me think about you more than ever before. Every word I speak now feels like it needs to be carefully considered, thanks to your presence in my thoughts. Your gesture of offering another chance touched me deeply and brought a smile to my face. I can't help but wonder what you've done to influence me in this way. I think you really did something to me.

#9 – FEELINGS, FEELINGS, FEELINGS.

We've connected much faster than I anticipated, even surprising my friends. I'm left wondering what you've done to me. You've become an all-encompassing thought – your smile, your laughter, your sense of humor – everything about you fills my mind. At times, I ponder whether I ever cross your thoughts too. Could this be love? My friends have mentioned it, and I can't find a way to refute them. I'm fond of you, immensely so. Isn't that a crazy twist?

It's a strange journey we're on. I started this journal to document the reasons I disliked you, but look at where it's led us. Is it too soon to be feeling this way? The idea of revealing my feelings is terrifying, yet I'm unsure if I'll ever have another opportunity. Please bear with me, allow me to find the right moment. Perhaps soon, hopefully, you'll be in my arms. I realize how absurd all this sounds – what am I even saying?

#10 – HOW EASY YOU WON ME OVER.

You won. You won my heart effortlessly, but I didn't win yours in return. I'm burdened with regret for how I've treated you. My ignorance and neglect weigh heavily on me now. It's painfully clear that he's all you've ever been able to think about. Why did I delude myself into thinking I could make a difference? If only I had treated you with the kindness you deserved from the start. Could that have made you love me instead? These thoughts haunt me.

I've grown aware of my own attachment, and I'm sorry for allowing it to consume me. I apologize for the disruption I've caused in your recent weeks. I can't bring myself to be genuinely happy for you and him, though he does seem like a better man than I could ever be. It's evident that I need to move on for your sake, to make things easier for you. Yet, there's a part of me that wishes I could still claim you as mine. That longing will always remain unchanged.

I doubt you'll ever stumble upon this journal entry, not that I would ever permit anyone to. But regardless, I want you to know that I do love you. It's a truth that's etched deeply within me, even though it pains me to admit it.

💭 — fun fact this was supposed to have a happy ending until i pulled out spotify n listened to lyn lapid…yeah.

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (🎥) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @starcubes @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @woon2u @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @flwrshee @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

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laireshi · 3 years

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WIP game

thanks for tagging me, @rose-nebulijia :)

Rules: Posting a list of current writing works in progress. Feel free to ask me for info on any of them, whether snippets of writing, plot details, main characters, etc. Send me a title listed below and I’ll share something related to it. ;)

My wips are...many and in various states of being in progress and all about Xiaoge! I'm not sure if I have many share-able snippets for them though hmm. But here's the list!

- my mystery wip that's at 12k and is all 100% xiaoge pain or: what can you do to him until he breaks :) (hint: he's so, so broken) (i absolutely love daydreaming about it and i have like fifty canon-divergence scenarios for it in my head and it’s my comfort wip, but will i ever get it done? WHO KNOWS every time i open scrivener i see how much is still left to be done XD but xiaoge is suffering a lot so it’s all good)

- the most recent fic I've started is xiaoge vs food but it went Places so i'm not sure it'll ever get done bc Deeply Uncomfortable

- another xiaoge pain fic or: wu xie inhales snake pheromones and sees exactly what happened to xiaoge in golmud (does wx see a mirror in the snake vision and his own face in it? possibly.)

- the above fic was going to include second part where xiaoge returns from the gate, sees wu xie, smiles, and promptly collapses as All of his past memories hit him at once. it might happen, or it might be its own thing in the end? i guess it's not a wip yet as it doesn't have its own doc lol

- that one UN poster with xiaoge turning to dust? that but in a fic with a tomb curse and xiaoge just slowly...disappearing...even comforting touch making him go faster. (happy end, probably.)

- pingxie fic featuring wu xie finding a falling out of love elixir and possibly giving it to xiaoge so that xiaoge could still happily live after wu xie dies :)

- a very old soulmates wip with romantic soulmates pingxie and platonic soulmates pingxie+pangzi but pingxie are already basically soulmates in canon so yeah idk

- it's october so i was thinking of maybe writing a prequel to my vampire xiaoge fic, but i'm not sure i'll have the time? so this one isn't a wip yet but i wish it was

- also another not-a-wip but i think about a-kun all the time (or at least all the time i’m not actively thinking about xiaoge in golmud) so i expect something will come out of all those thoughts at some point

- okay this one isn’t about xiaoge because it’s not dmbj. it’s my guardian zine fic and i don’t think i can talk about it

idk why I even specified that some of them are pingxie seeing how it’s me so actually all of them are pingxie bc pingxie is the best and i love them. (or xieping to be exact lol. i find myself adding that disclaimer lately.)

this is making rounds on my dash so i saw a lot of people got tagged. hm. @extraordinarilyextreme @blackholemetric @mage-pie @selenuntius (don’t tell me you’re not a writer)

#fic meme #dmbj canon is all just xiaoge pain and wu xie trying to make it better for him currently in ycbj #so it's only canon-compliant of me to write xiaoge pain all the time right #right!!!#pingxie #i guess #pls talk to me abt this ship lol i love them so much

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edge-lorde · 4 years

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hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post.

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical.

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote.

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now.

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team. this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle.

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs.

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad.

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such.

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left.

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots.

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u.

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart.

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O.

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie.

until next time, remember.......

#hp #harry potter #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #bill weasley #goblins #charlie weasley #sirius business #rowan khanna #rambling #Thoughts #so sorry im still making these posts #i just want to see them through to the end now

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learned-foot · 4 years

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(Belated) 2019 in (Fic Writing) Review

Okay, guys, forgive me getting a little belatedly self-indulgent. But as I start thinking about my fic writing projects for next year, I can’t help but look back on the past year. I wrote exactly 290k in 2019—the vast majority of which was Starker—and I’m pretty proud of what I wrote. So, some reflections on my own work, for posterity’s sake if nothing else:

Personal Favorite Fic

Never Fail to Be Ironically, my very favorite fic was not Peter/Tony at all, but this crossover about the Thirteenth Doctor meeting Kylo Ren. It is very rare for a fic to come to me fully formed, let alone a fic about two characters who I’ve never written before and who don’t even interact in canon. And yet, that is exactly how I feel about this one. It was so exactly everything I wanted it to be—and, frankly, I think it has one of the few truly great endings I’ve ever written. It just makes me really, really happy. Runner up: Still Right Here I had to pick a Starker fave, right? After a bit of reflection, this is the winner for me. IDK if it is my single best Peter/Tony fic—I have no idea how I would even define that, and it’s certainly not near my most popular—but it was the one that put the biggest smile on my face when I was thinking over my work. This one has one of my weirder concepts, and allowed me to play around with some of my favorite tropes: hurt/comfort in both directions; huddling for warmth; resurrected Tony not being sure how to handle being resurrected; an older, slightly jaded Peter; and even a tiny bit of suit kink. I remain super pleased with how it came out, on both a technical and emotional level.

Favorite Drabbles

For the first time this year I tried my hand at writing drabbles/drabble series. Here are my three faves: All Day I wanted to see if I could write exactly 100 words of porn. I think it went pretty well. Only In Dreams Peter/Mysterio manipulation fun. The Same Nebula/Nebula. I think maybe my most effect use of the 100 word format to convey a lot in a little space. Honorable Mention: I really like the proposal I wrote as the final drabble in this series

Most Popular Fic

Still Use Work This wins by both hits and kudos. People like kinky for!science porn, and I’m not mad about it. This is also the fic where I learned to really, fully embrace my id in porn, and I am very pleased with that.

Longest Fic

Far From Okay [27.6k] Most ambitious in scope. I’m not sure I entirely stuck the landing in all ways I wanted to, but I still had a lot of fun translating Far From Home into a world where Tony is alive and Beck is a lot rapier.

Biggest Surprise to Myself

Breaking Point

Expiration Date

Under Someone Else

This set of three goes together. Did you guys know that when I started the year I thought of myself as a not particularly tropey writer? L.O.L. This is the year I learned to brace the tropey, romantic goodness, and these three fics are the most extreme example of this. Weird curses that force people together! Miscommunications! Romance and wooing and chasing your love interest to another country to stop them from hooking up with someone else! I really had so much fun, and the end results are fics that I love, and that other people seem to really enjoy, too.

Biggest Risks

Stumbling Towards Better This was my Yuletide assignment. It was for Russian Doll, and my recipient was really interested in seeing the show's Jewish themes explored further. My first response was no fucking way. Like any good culturally Jewish atheist, I feel too outside my own heritage and culture to feel entitled to write about it. But after reviewing the show, I realized that I could harness that exact feeling, since Nadia also has a complicated relationship to her Judaism. In the end, I am really happy with it, but as I was writing it I was so worried it would go horribly wrong, and it feels frighteningly personal in a way none of my other fics do. Obvious I was so nervous about this fic for a number of reasons. It’s time loops, which are hard to pace. I wanted to hint at the reason the loop was happening without it being too obvious, which was a hard line to walk. It gets dark af, to the point where I wondered, “is this too dark?” But it is also one of my favorites in the end, and I’m glad that I went for it and didn’t hold back anything. seen the hunger in my eyes from space Another personal favorite, I felt like this had the potential to fall completely flat. It’s a “married in a dreamworld they must realize/escape” type setup, and I knew that if the part in the dream was too boring, the whole thing would fall apart. So doing the balancing act of it being a perfect whirlwind romance with no conflict—since that was the fantasy of the world that was trying to trap them—while still making it compelling to read and hinting that there was actually something very wrong was a real challenge.

Hardest to Write

Your Face Becomes Her This is another Doctor Who crossover, with a focus on Amy and Nebula. It took me a really long time to figure out what I wanted this fic to BE, and I’m still not entirely sure about the pacing, but I think I eventually got a story out of it. But seriously, I spent a lot of time just kind of writing scenes to see how these characters would bounce off each other. Feels Like Something, Maybe It Fits I wrote the first scene of this fic in a flash, and then spent literal months finishing it. Like, I meant to gift it several exchanges before I did. It’s more lyrical than my usual style, and the emotional beats are a bit different, and for the longest time I just could not figure out what I wanted to do with it.

Easiest to Write

The Pieces

Further Assistance

Resilience

as long as it takes

Not so Bad

These were each written in one sitting (or two, for The Pieces, just because I got tired), and required very little editing. They were almost all written for flash exchanges, and I am very pleased with the results in all cases.

Fic Goals for Next Year

Write the several-years post-FFH Tony resurrection time loop Peter/Tony longfic that has been kicking around my head for a while. It is going to be so angsty and I can’t wait. Peter is not in a good place. Tony is not in a good place. They are forced together. I can’t wait

Do less exchanges, and write less for the exchanges I do take part in. I have so much fun with them, but I want to be able to focus on my own projects more, and I've been feeling burnt out.

More variety. Peter/Tony is my one true love and I don’t plan on stopping writing it anytime soon, but I want to stretch my writing muscles and spend a bit more time writing other combos and canons. I started by not even offering Peter/Tony for Chocolate Box. It’ll be fun to see what I match on instead!

#my writing #my fic #starker #doctor who #star wars #russian doll #yuletide

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thorne93 · 7 years

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Lost and Found (Part 13- FINAL)

Prompt: Imagine finding a lost dog, but it’s not just anyone’s lost dog. Who will show up at your door to claim the pup?

Warnings: Maybe language…and…crying? Idk

Word Count: 1656

Note: My precious doggie went missing on 6/10 and no one has spotted her or turned her in to the local shelters or anything. I miss her so much, but it inspired this fic. Texts are in italics. Thanks to my darling beta @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Tags: @amarvelouswritings @blackwidow-romanoff @cocosierra94 @firstgal34 @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @sebstan01 @camigt1999 @elleatrixlestrange @bittersweetunicorm @moonlightimagination @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @capandbuck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week passed since he showed up at your door. You won’t lie, you wanted to call him, to tell him to come back. To tell him you missed him. But why? What good would it do? He clearly didn’t know what he he wanted. So you wallowed. You continued down your wicked spiral into despair and heartbreak, not even trying to stay above the waves of torment that crashed over you.

At the end of that week, Ida had texted you, asking to meet in Central Park on a certain bridge to hang out.

“No,” you responded, no where near ready to leave the house.

“Just do it. Get out of the house, mopey.”

“Fine.”

You would’ve fought harder but you honestly didn’t feel like it.

You arrived at twilight on the bridge, not noticing at first that soft white fairy lights were lining the walkway, the edge of the bridge and the handrails. Small lanterns were placed there as well. You assumed some dude was trying to romance his girlfriend. Half of you felt bitter, the other half was really happy for the girl.

You waited and waited. Twenty minutes went by and you had texted Ida twice. She responded once, saying she was on her way. At the thirty minute mark you huffed and told her via text that you were leaving. Right as you turned to walk away though, a particular song started nearby by a live orchestra. Although, you couldn’t exactly pinpoint the location of the sound, you knew it was a large symphony orchestra.

You’d heard this song a hundred times. You’d made Sebastian sit through the movie with you about five times since he’d moved in and you often played it in the car or at work, belting out to it. It wasn’t hard to figure out that it was your favorite song. It was unmistakable - Evermore, from Beauty and the Beast. You would know it anywhere.

“I was the one who had it all, I was the master of my fate,” Sebastian suddenly started singing as he came up on the bridge.

“Sebastian?” you breathed, wondering what was going on.

He merely grinned at you and continued singing. “I never needed anybody in my life. I learned the truth too late.” He was slowly making his way to you, emotion evident in his eyes as he continued singing. Tears started to prick your eyes. You weren’t sure what you were feeling in that moment, but you didn’t want to go anywhere else.

“I’ll never shake away the pain. I close my eyes but she’s still there. I let her steal into my melancholy heart, it’s more than I can bear.”

The first bittersweet tear started to fall and you laughed at yourself, wiping it with your sleeve.

“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she runs away,” he sang and you slowly realized he was singing this song from him to you. He didn’t pick it because it was your favorite song…He picked it because it’s how he felt. “She will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may. Wasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open door, I’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in and be with me for evermore.”

By now, he’d closed half the distance between you two.

“I rage against the trials of love, I curse the fading of the light. Though she’s already flown so far beyond my reach, she’s never out of sight.”

A few more strides and he would be inches from you. Your heart was beating so fast as you struggled to breathe properly.

“Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she fades from view. She will still inspire me, be a part of everything I do.”

Two more strides.

“Wasting in my lonely tower, waiting by an open door, I’ll fool myself, she’ll walk right in.”

He was here. In front of you. Arm’s length away, his voice had grown softer.

“And as the long, long nights begin, I’ll think of all that might have been, waiting here for evermore.”

The music faded as his eyes held so much emotion. Hope, happiness, pleading, sorrow, torment, life…love.

He handed you a long stemmed red rose, your favorite flower, and he remembered.

“Sebastian…” you started, laughing and crying, not sure what you were feeling.

“Y/N,” he started, making it clear that it was his turn to talk. “I meant it. Every word. I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you. I never should’ve left you. That was cruel of me. I said I was doing it for you but the truth was I was doing it for myself. I never thought I’d need anyone…But I need you. I miss you. I love you. I’ve been in love with you and whether you accept my apology and take me as I am, you will always be a part of me. I see your face everywhere I go. I’m inspired by you every day. I waited and waited and waited for you to call or text or come on set or come to my house. When you never did, I realized just what I had done. I was a coward, hoping you would make the first move, but why would you? I hurt you, I know that. But I’m not running any more.” He took a small break and you noticed he was shaking. “Y/N, not being next to you was torture. I miss you so fucking much. Please, forgive me.”

You frowned at him for a split second before throwing your arms around his neck and your lips crashing on his in a passionate, bruising kiss. His hands immediately curved around your back, holding you tighter to him, as if he let go, you’d escape his grasp yet again. The sheer feeling of his touch, his lips on you was the most freeing feeling you’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” he breathed once you pulled apart, foreheads resting against each other.

It was then that you realized people were clapping, cheering, and recording. You giggled at the event as you nuzzled his nose.

“So, you recruited Ida?” you wondered with a slight smirk.

“I had to have a partner in crime.”

“So, you’re the villain to my hero?” you asked mischievously.

“Something like that,” he noted as his nose crinkled.

“Was all that stuff about Spinee true?”

“Yeah, actually, it is. He’s not doing well without you. I think…we’re just going to have to move back in together, you know, for his sake.”

“Oh of course, I can’t stand you, so, I’m doing it for him.”

“Yeah, well I’m not the one who leaves dirty socks on the floor.”

You smirked and laughed. “It’s my house, you asshat, I’ll leave dirty whatever and wherever I want to.”

“That shit isn’t gonna fly. We split all this shit 50-50 or no deal.”

“Really? No deal?”

“Really.”

“Get over yourself, Sebastian,” you teased, nudging him.

—————

The next day, you had texted Ida, chastising her for tricking you. When she asked if it worked, you sent her a pic of Seb making coffee, then put your phone away.

“I noticed all your posters of me are gone…” he commented softly as he turned and leaned against the counter.

“Yeah, it was too hard to look at them so…”

“Hey, that’s okay. I get it.”

“I smashed the mug you gave me,” you admitted with guilt gnawing at your tongue..

“Hey, it’s just a mug. I’ll buy you a thousand more if you want them,” he said as you walked up and put your arms around his waist, hugging him close to you.

Chris and Ida asked to go out on a double date within the next few weeks and you obliged. It was a really fun night now that everyone was on the same page.

Within just a few weeks though, Sebastian’s stuff didn’t all fit in your apartment, so you two agreed to find something more suitable for your needs. You began apartment hunting together and finally found something that had a big enough master bathroom, master bedroom, 2 extra rooms, one for your office and the other for Seb, and a perfect kitchen and living room.

The day you signed the new lease agreement and got your stuff moved in, Seb asked you in your bedroom where he said he had a surprise for you.

“If this is you in the Winter Soldier outfit, I am so down for that,” you said with a laugh as you walked into the room, but something caught your eye and it wasn’t your sexy boyfriend.

It was the furry companion he had next to him. It was an black lab.

“I got her for you,” he said sweetly. “You’ve mentioned more than once that you missed having a dog and I think it’s only fair you have one of your own. Besides, Spinee needs a friend.”

“Seb,” you said as tears trickled down your face. You ran to him and hugged and kissed him before dropping down to pet the dog.

“Oh, my gosh. What’s her name?” you asked as you looked up at him excitedly.

He laughed. “She’s your dog, babe. You name her whatever you want.”

“Shit, I’m bad with names…What about…Chuffy?”

He threw his head back and laughed, clapping.

“That’s perfect.”

“I thought so too.”

And so, it turns out, it wasn’t Spinee who was lost. It was Sebastian, and through trials of love and heartbreak, you found him. In a way, you’d been lost too, never knowing what true love felt like, but Sebastian had returned the favor, finding that within you too. While you hoped it never happened again, you knew, that if either one of you were ever lost, the fates would inevitably put you in each other’s paths to find each other.

#lost and found #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan

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maracate · 7 years

Text

Fic rec list for @maternalcube

I avoided everything explicit and most of the things that haven’t updated since feb (unless I really liked it) which makes this list about 300% shorter (and also means there are very few soulmate aus, people do not like to finish those)

it’s still long though, so under the cut

Finished:

Unwritten (T)

Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common. 1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance. 2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations. 3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.”

High flying, adored (G)

Being a superhero is hard. It's even harder when you're desperately in love with the most famous figure skater in the world, who never seems to notice you. Of course it doesn't help that he's a superhero too--and he's head over heels for your alter-ego.

Enjoy the awkward fumblings of these two erstwhile masked men as they dance the terrifying tango of young love and secret identities.

Starstruck (T)

(in which yuuri is a simple barista, viktor is a famous movie star, and yuri is an 8 year old kid stuck in the middle of it.)

Autumn in detroit (M but i think that’s for violence)

In a world where Viktor Nikiforov was forced to retire early due to a leg injury, he sought work instead as a police detective in Detroit. Now a young skater with a poster of him on his bedroom door has gone missing and Viktor knows beyond a doubt it's the work of a man who's been brutally murdering professional dancers for years. It's impossible not to take this case personally. Viktor will find Yuuri Katsuki.

Entwinning fates (T)

Imagine if Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the demise of you-know-who, started accepting foreign students in an effort for greater unity among wizarding communities around the world. Imagine that, in this changing climate of diversity and social acceptance, Hogwarts also decided to host an exchange programme with select students from Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Academy of Magic for a semester.

Imagine, then, if a young Japanese wizard by the name of Yuuri Katsuki had transferred to Hogwarts to escape his past, just in time to meet a Russian Quidditch player who would blow open the very doors he was trying so desperately to close.

A story of love, magic, and teenagers trying to find themselves.

Dear mama (T)

In which Victor writes letters to his mother, who is fifty percent of his rationality and self-control.

Like your french girls (T)

in which Victor is an artist, Yuuri is his figure skating muse, and Yuri is so done hearing about their stupid love story through Instagram

Unwritten (T)

Soulmates AU where whatever you write on your own skin appears on your soulmate, but when there is a language barrier, meeting becomes just a little more difficult than it should be.

I love you, my dear (T)

Musician au where famous YouTube singer Victor is practically in love with a famous singer/lyricist named Lilith (who has never revealed his true identity to the public). Victor feels compelled to go to Lilith's first show of his world tour (even though he's never met him) and on the flight there, he sits next to this guy named Yuri, completely oblivious to the fact that Yuri is his idol, Lilith.

or, the one where Yuri/Lilith accidentally says "I love you, my dear" to a man he has never met before.

Unfinished:

The power of love (T)

“The two Japanese singles medalists make a beautiful pair! Here, at the 2009 Tokyo GPF, we have the start of this power couple’s reign!” Yuuko and Yuuri dominate the singles skating competition as Japan’s power couple—except they aren’t a couple, and when their old skating idol stumbles into their personal life, everything rapidly goes downhill.

The ice prince’s rose garden (T)

Light political struggle and mystery all spun up with master/servant Viktuuri.

bear your soul on the ice (M but it’s mostly in passing)

At age fourteen, Katsuki Yuuri had been determined to be Japan's next great figure skating hope, but with no coach that would never happen, so his ballet instructor packs him up off to Russia to train with Yakov Feltsman. The Yakov Feltsman, otherwise known as the coach to rising figure skating star -- and Yuuri's idol -- Viktor Nikiforov.

Dancing daffodils (M but I think it’s for violence? idk)

A god falls for a man.

Expomise (T)

Expomise: a transformation spell that bonds two objects together. / Yuuri is at Hogwarts. So is everyone else./

Nuclear hearts club (T)

Being seventeen and chronically confused isn't always a walk in the park - especially when you've been crushing on your brother's best friend since you were nine. You'd be crazy not to. Victor's the best thing to happen to the world since sliced bread.

(Join Yuuri Katsuki on this pine-fueled adventure full of teen angst and astronomical fuckery.)

A thread of silver (T)

Once upon a time, there was a boy who got lost in the woods... AU. Inspired by various fairy tales and mythologies.

That old-time religion (T)

Yuuri is pretty sure that when an impossible stranger turns up and tells you he’s the god of victory, it doesn’t matter how good-looking he is. The moment he asks you to abandon your mortal life and come back to his mountain kingdom with him, you turn around and walk away.

An AU based loosely around the Greco-Roman pantheon. Very loosely.

Death or glory (T)

aka 'The Hunger Games AU that happened by accident'. May the odds be ever in your favour.

I’d rather be skating (M for some reason idk)

Sometimes, when a muggle child gets an acceptance letter from a wizarding school, they say no.

Victor Nikiforov would rather be skating. Yuuri Katsuki would rather be normal.

The rules for lovers (T)

Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…

That’s a long story.

Like a fairytale (T)

In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his 'Cinderella' Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he's doing).

not gold like in your dreams (T)

in which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret

taking the long way home (T)

In which Vicchan never died, Yuuri won bronze at the Grand Prix Final, didn't get drunk at the banquet, and never made Victor fall in love with him./

Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare (T)

The tale of a lonely traveler, Victor Nikiforov, and his encounter with an equally lonely immortal man.

Alternatively: the tale of Yuuri Katsuki, who never ages and never dies and has lived frozen in time for centuries, and his attempts to keep his adopted son from killing the new guest.

Destiny may ride with us (T)

Viktor Nikiforov spent the first twenty seven years of his life waiting for something exciting to happen. And then, it did.

AU in which Yuuri is a little bit more than human, someone seems to be stealing all of Viktor's spoons, and Yurio is the only person who thinks this is all rather strange.

Lost and found (T)

AU in which: Yuuri is a cop who works at the Hasetsu policebox, and Victor is the new skate instructor in town who almost always ends up on the steps of the aforementioned policebox to flirt with him.

The Castle Atop the Hill (T)

In a cursed land covered in unforgiving ice, Yuuri becomes a knight so that he and his family can survive. In the castle is where he finds Viktor, a prince with a magical gift, whom Yuuri believed could save anyone. But maybe Viktor needs saving too.

One Shots:

Drunk on you (T)

A one-shot collection of soulmate AUs.

What you should know about dating a man with children (G)

"AU scenario where the skaters mistake the triplets for Yuuri's kids when they first meet him, possibly when he brings them to the skater-only area as a b-day treat, or something? (Kudos if you can work in jealous!Victor somehow, but the skaters having a fun reaction would be A+, tbh. Would be lovely if you could include Chris and/or Yurio :D )"

I’m just going to the store (T)

Accidental masked vigilante Victor Nikiforov.

Or: how Victor's impulsiveness backfires and creates one of the greatest living internet memes to ever come out of Russia.

hood and glove (T)

"I don't mess with the fae," Otabek says.

"I'm not asking you to mess with them," JJ flat-out lies.

"The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." (T)

Critics have always considered "The Adventures of Sparkly Elf and Soft Hobbit, Endured With Great Patience by The Bright And Powerful, Best In The Land, Yuri Plisetsky." one of the most faithful descriptions of Legend Victor Nikiforov, the greatest elven fighter for more than eight centuries. Although it is narrated by Plisetsky as an adolescent, and thus contains strong language and spends more time ridiculizing his travelling companions than giving thoughtful insight into Nikiforov's psyche, it still remains as an essential reading in every scholar that decides to study Nikiforov [...] // Day 95: Caught Nikiforov writing love poems. Am appalled at bad writing more than anything else. Example: “I really like your dark eyes / and all the other parts of your face. Your butt is the perfect size / and I would love to see you in lace.” Hope the Hobbit cannot read, or am afraid this love story will not have a pleasant ending.

Never tasted rubies (T)

in which Yuuri is an unwilling radio host and Victor won't stop calling in to chat with him

love me do: a victuuri week compilation (t)

Every chapter is a short fic based on one of the Victuuri Week prompts.

The Goddamn Tie Has Got To Go (T)

Dear God. Yuuri was wearing the tie again.

The powdery blue monstrosity was not only unfashionable (and where did Yuuri even manage to acquire such a tie?), it also reminded Viktor, with shocking clarity, of a sweaty, half naked, pole dancing Yuuri. It reminded him of a night of joy, a night of passion. The night where he was finally, and without warning, lifted from the fog that had crept up on him in his last few years of skating.

Understandably, it elicited quite the unfavorable reaction in him when they were out in public.

For the sake of his remaining dignity, Viktor needed to improvise a plan to dispose of it as soon as possible.

Welcome Aboard Eros, Commander (T)

Commander Nikiforov is frustrated. For years, he has been chasing Eros, the most elusive pirate ship to ever sail the Seven Seas, and its even more elusive captain, whom it appears no one has ever been able to lay their eyes on. With the threat of every royal treasury in the whole of the Caribbean soon being emptied down to the last coin, the commander sets sail again, determined to track down Eros and its captain once and for all.

That is, if the mysterious Captain Katsuki doesn't find him first.

Victuuriweek day 2: Traveling AU: Historical

Winter Solitude (T)

Victor was cursed by a fellow competitor many years ago, jealous of his skills on the ice. The curse limited Victor to a lake in Hasetsu, Japan, where he appears to others as a blue-tinted human.

He can't age. He can't leave. And he can't let himself feel emotions for the pain it causes.

But a skater comes to the frozen lake one day and ignites a fire in his heart that he hadn't felt in years.

Series:

Cubicle gods

Flourist and wedding planner au

stop, erase, rewind

Haven (okay this series is E and kind of messed up maybe? but i love it)

have you heard there's a rumour in st. petersburg

A Real Life Cinnamon Roll

Even Ice Gods Can Melt

warm-up hogwash

must love dogs

#I've got like 10 more pages of history i could go through but it's late #yoi #fic recs #i did promise you a lot

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