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glossgojo · 8 months

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pretty boy

carmen berzatto x mafia boss reader

excerpt from my full one-shot on ao3

MINORS DNI: violence, carmy cleans up your wounds, AFAB reader, smut, p in v, no protection, cream pie, carmy has to make it fit 😵‍💫, riding, rushed and desperate, all in his tiny office, set in s1

the week was eventful, you had scars to show it. one of your men had gotten out of line, selling drugs on the side to kids and you had to take action, of course with everyone’s approval. since he was part of your family you would deal with it, the guy didn’t take it well even trying to stab you and missing your scalp but grazing it in the process. in the end you had won, the body disposed of in the river as was custom for disgraced members. your body still ached but it didn’t stop you from visiting the beef the day after.

the cut was stitched up, covered in bandage. the members were laying low following the event, there was going to be a meeting to discuss how it could happen. carmy had noticed that the shop was less busy today, the street still safe but no suited men in sight.

and then he saw you walk in, still beautiful as ever but an unmistakable bandage on your forehead and his stomach flipped. without thinking twice he crossed from behind the counter to where you stood, anxiety bubbling up his throat, burning his insides as he spoke up.

“what happened?” his hands were on his hips, he almost looked angry and for some reason it bothered you. his eyes bore down at you, making you grimace.

“i don’t like lying carmy and you’re not gonna like the answer.” you muttered, eyes looking away. this would be it, he’d think you were too much and too scary and cast you away. carmy took in your dejected expression, combed his fingers through his hair and thought about your words before responding.

“fuck fine, but you’re okay right?” you lifted your head, taking in how crystal eyes scanned your face, his tattooed hand leaving his hip and a finger hovering over where your bandage was.

“yeah i’m okay.” you gave him a small smile and it quelled some of the burning in carmy’s gut. he motioned towards an empty booth, he knew how to get rid of the rest of the feeling. he could take care of you the only way he knew how.

“sit let me grab you something to eat.” before you could argue, he was flying back to the kitchen and you were grateful for the lack of patrons. you felt less guilty in stealing his time. maybe ten minutes had passed before a grilled chicken breast, mashed potatoes, and greens were in front of you. steam rose from the food, aroma rising with it and you felt a surge of hunger. carmy took a seat across from you, setting down a glass of water for you as he did.

“you made this?” you were a little bit stunned, not able to remember the last time someone outside of family cooked for you without being paid for it.

“uh huh, try it.” you dug in, grinning and groaning at the flavors on your tongue and carmy was reeling from your reaction. his anxiety was fading away, instead now his blood rushing, he could hear your gleeful sounds.

“this is seriously so good, did you try some?” he shook his head and you just wouldn’t have that. if the table wasn’t so wide you would’ve fed him yourself but instead passed the plate to him. he cut up a piece of chicken and added mashed potatoes before biting down. you watched the fork enter and unabashedly stared at his fingers, they looked so much larger and thicker around the utensil than yours. and the same fingers were moving to cut more pieces, cutting the green beans into chunks before pushing the plate back to you. you watched in awe as he slowly chewed on his bite, trying to figure out why he had just cut your food up for you. did you look helpless? was this the special treatment he was talking about? surely he didn’t see you as a cute little puppy needing affection and care. you were more than that, you had to prove it. you watched him swallow down and then took a bite of your own.

carmy couldn’t help the twitch in his pants when he noticed you suck on the fork a little bit longer than needed as you slid the utensil between your lips. was he imagining things? you finished your food with as much pleasure at the first few bites, never getting tired of the flavors and textures on your tongue. carmy had been watching you, even passing you water when you hadn’t drank it in a while. as he watched you eat, his anxiety was practically washed away and what was left was his stomach coiling in an entirely different way. you dropped your fork after setting it down and swiping it off the table with your sleeve, both of you ducked under to retrieve. you strained your arm to reach the fork and when you came up your forehead grazed the table corner. it wouldn’t have been an issue if not for your wound. almost instantly two things happened, you winced and clutched your forehead and carmy rounded to your side and kneeled in front of you to check your wound.

“lemme see.” his hand covered yours, your eyes shutting in pain as you moved you hand away. carmy sucked in a breath as he saw blood stain the bandage. “i got first aid in my office come with me.” you nodded, he stood up and offered his hand to you. one hand in his, carmy led you to his office. you clutched the damp bandage against your head using your other hand and tried to ignore the throbbing feeling.

carmy sat you down on his desk, shoving away some papers and angling his desk lamp up at your face. the office space was cluttered and small, you felt so close to carmy as he grabbed the first aid from a drawer and set it next to your thigh. in this office your breath was becoming his and his scent was overwhelming you, a mix of spices, cigarettes, sweat, and aftershave that made your head spin further. he removed your bandage, seeing a pill of blood pooling behind it and quickly soaked it up with a cotton pad, he put antiseptic on a q-tip and cleaned up the skin surrounding the wound before reapplying a clean bandage. carmy did his best not to think about how you got such a cut or why it needed stitches. all he could do was focus on fixing what he could. you watched him work, silent besides the puffs of air, his hair was cascading onto his forehead, his arms tense as he cleaned you up. mostly you couldn’t ignore how his jaw ticked and his brows got more furrowed.

“what are you thinking about?” you murmured almost a whisper, not wanting to disturb his peace.

“the fucker who did this.” he seemed satisfied with his handiwork, pulling back a little, hand still on your cheek as he made sure your wound wasn’t still bleeding through the bandage.

“he got it worse.” you pressed a kiss to the palm of the hand that was tilting your chin up. and carmen berzatto almost lost his remaining marbles at the action. without thinking about it, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips, careful to not bump his head against yours and you gasped at the feeling. you hadn’t expected him to make a move, fully prepared to do it yourself. his lips were much softer against yours than you expected. the way he moved was careful and sweet but you wanted more. you wound your fingers around his apron tie and tugged it, pulling you closer against him and licking at his lips against you. the action made carmy lose his senses, immediately reacting to you by wedging himself between your legs and pulling you closer by your hips, now filling the small space between you and the edge of the desk. his lips moved much less carefully now, licking into your mouth and memorizing your taste and sounds. the kiss was hot and messy, much more like what you were used to and it made the ache in your head move south. you pulled back for air noticing how he trailed after you pressed kisses to your neck like a seal had been lifted and he could finally do what he wanted. you whined at the feeling, moving back to lift his head to meet your gaze. his eyes looking up at you made your head swim, his glossy lips painting much darker images of similar positions.

“carmy, i need you.” and carmy could hear the banging and yelling in the kitchen behind me, he could smell something burning on a stove. but carmy could also hear your labored breathing combined with his, your swollen lips and your rising chest, and not to mention your intoxicating scent. it wasn’t just your perfume, as he pressed kisses to your neck he couldn’t get enough of you. your taste and your presence was making him want to be selfish, it felt right to stay here with you and it scared him. carmy still would’ve chosen what he did despite the feeling, lifting his apron off and throwing it on the floor nearby.

“fuck it, come here.” he sat down on his office chair, opening his arms for you to climb onto his lap and you took in the sight. muscular legs stretched out in front of him and his tattooed arms beckoning towards him was something you wanted framed. on shaky legs you stood up and straddled his waist, swallowing as you sat down. carmy was watching you with a new determination, looking up as you rested your hands on his shoulders. you were still too far, he needed to feel you fully against him, holding you by the hips and moving you closer, grinding you against his hardening cock in the process. the motion made you stiffen, a small gasp leaving your lips and carmy couldn’t help but lift a hand to your cheek. it was just as soft as he imagined, stroking it with a callused thumb and you pressed your face closer to it. god must have taken his time with you, carmy decided.

unfortunately he had no luxury of time, he was sure richie would come looking for him soon. leaning back in the chair, taking you with him, and clicking the lock of the door. “can i?” he had a finger hooked under your shirt hem. you could feel him, large and throbbing against your core and you nodded furiously as he lifted it off you. you shoved your hands underneath his shirt too, watching him for a nod before you tore it off. carmy seemed to be taking it all in, leaning back again and you weren’t even hiding your ogling. why the fuck did a chef in a deli have abs? you weren’t complaining, not one bit, you could think of a lot of things to do with them. your hands were much less careful than his, not even hesitating as they glided up his taut tanned skin watching his chest rise and fall as your hands returned to his shoulders. he relished in how soft and warm they were, smooth like butter and warming up his skin everywhere they went. carmy was much more patient than you it seemed, you had been practically foaming at the mouth waiting to touch him. but carmy was just in awe.

“you’re driving me crazy.” his voice was gruff and low as he said it, watching you as he undid your bra and slid a rough hand up to your breast. immediately your nipples perked up and carmy licked a long stripe across your right breast, watching your whine as you tilted your head back. his hands felt so rough and large against you, covering you and spreading their warmth. you whined as he bit down, taking his time teasing you. the drag of his teeth against your sensitive buds and his abrasive palm massaging you was grating against your rational thought, your body moving to its own accord as you ground down on him, hips moving desperately. you needed some relief and the hard throb of him against the sensitivity between your legs was enough for now. his free hand found purchase in the dip of your waist and pushed down, halting your movement. he was slightly drunk off your taste and scent so he had to remind himself he couldn’t take his time with you. any minute now the door would be banged on, pulling him back to reality. he unlatched from your skin with a lewd pop and tapped against your hip, unzipping his jeans and you eagerly moved off him. you tugged your own jeans down, eyes not moving from his bulge as it sprung free against his boxers. carmy’s eyes always seemed to be on yours, taking in the emotions there and it felt somehow much more intimate than you standing in front of him topless. he reached towards your hand, pulling you back and out of your thoughts.

“i-i don’t know if it’ll fit.” you’d been thinking it since before when he was biting up your chest, but now with it prodding your clothed clit it felt too big. carmy had to hide his amusement, tried not to think about how all your confidence and eagerness had slipped away.

“do you think you can try? huh?” he brushed a hair back, caressing your cheek and looking at your face for any hesitation. you nodded, lifting up on your knees to push your underwear to the side as carmy sprung himself free. you gasped as his tip pressed up against you, making you clench on air, and looking down didn’t help your growing wetness. he was long and thick, red neglected tip hot and heavy against your skin and you wanted to memorize the veins along the side. the sound of your shallow breath mixed with his, a symphony of anticipation. you wove a hand down, collecting the slick at the tip and coating his length. god he was so long, probably the biggest you’d ever had and you weren’t sure if you could walk out of here on two stable legs.

carmy watched as you swallowed down, eyes on his member and this time he couldn’t hide his smirk. your skin was on fire, it wasn’t like he was any better but he wasn’t unabashedly licking his lips like you had just done. it took all his self control to not just slip up into you when your eyes widened as you looked down. you led him into your entrance, practically dripping onto him and carmy threw his head back. with shaking hands and aching thighs, you slid him against your entrance. he was too thick, his tip catching against your clit as you tried to shove him in. you glared at him like it was somehow his fault and carmy swiped his thumb across your hip in apology. your hands were shaking and your legs ached, but you tried again, tried to relax and pushed him in. instantly the stretch made you gasp, adjusting to the burn between your legs and how fucking stuffed you already felt.

“fuck, so fucking tight.” carmy felt like you were choking him, warm and constrictive. it felt his blood flow was being cut off. you breathed in and out letting yourself get used to the stretch as you lowered down on him, your thighs burning as you concentrated. the ache in your body was pain earlier but now it mixed with the intense pleasure of being beyond filled up. would you ever be able to fuck anyone besides carmen berzatto?

the ache was quelled by the feeling of him twitching inside and you moaned as you nearly bottomed out. carmy watched your eyes flutter closed in concentration, your eyebrows knitted together and your expression wracked by pleasure. his hands were a vice grip around your waist, you’re sure there would be bruises there tomorrow but you didn’t care, you slowly lifted up on him and moved down, his veins dragging against your walls as his tip bumped against the fleshy spot inside you that made you clench on him. if he bottomed out you’re sure you would feel him prod at your heart. you set a slow pace, moving slowly up and down as carmy did his best not to take over. finally when he could tell the burn in your legs was becoming too much he experimentally thrusted up, and your eyes snapped to his face. your pupils were blown out and glazed over in lust and your lips raw from where you’d been biting them to hold back your sounds. carmy wished he could hear them, wished his ears were ringing from how loud you could yell his name, but today wasn’t the day.

so instead he took control, holding your hips in place as he jacked up into you, driving against the spot he knew made you fall slack in his hold. your body twitched and shaked against him, mind going numb as his control slipped and he bottomed out in one sharp thrust. your lip slipped from between your teeth and like you couldn’t help it any more you whined his name. and he didn’t think anyone would fault him for losing the remainder of his sanity.

driving in and out of you with a force that bounced your legs upwards as his tip grazed your cervix, you could feel him everywhere could feel him twitching inside you, his veins, the now slickened hair at the base of his shaft and you could feel yourself pouring down on him, his coated balls slapping against your ass. it was all too much, the way he pressed a kiss to your neck as he dug himself into you, shaping you for him and plugging you so full you couldn’t breathe. he slowed his pace, feeling like he couldn’t hold back much longer and slightly pushed you back, unclasped your hands from around the back of the chair and brought a free hand down between your bodies. his finger found your clit, massaging it as his thrusts became deeper and slower. in this position you felt exposed, your bleary eyes and bruised lips looking down at his blown out pupils and tousled hair. his eyes were always the most expressive part of him, watching you in amazement and pure desire. and then carmy pressed a flat hand against where he was burrowed deep inside, against your stomach and it all became too much, shaking as your orgasm overtook you. you clenched around him, thighs digging into his sides as he continued fucking you through it, his hand massaging your puffy overstimulated clit as you bit down on your lip to stop yourself from screaming his name.

you slumped over him, carmy keeping his hand on your stomach as he reached his own high and pumped you full, throwing his head back and letting you take it. to no surprise his come was slipping down your thighs, already too stuffed full to keep anything in and you groaned at the feeling. the loss and the messiness of it all made you cringe. carmy slipped out of you, moving your underwear so the remainder would stay with you, keep reminding you of him and you tried not to think about the implication. instead you just sat back down, feeling much emptier this time and stared at his fucked out expression. he pressed a kiss to your lips, the meaning now too apparent for you to ignore, it felt like a goodbye kiss. you couldn’t take this much longer, if he didn’t want to see you again you had to leave now.

you moved off on shaky legs, his eyes tracking your movement as you did it, you could still feel his gaze as you turned around to find your clothes. however you didn’t expect him to break the silence, you thought you’d slip away and he’d pretend that it never happened.

“what happened here?” he pressed an outstretched finger to your back, you’d forgotten about the scar there. you probably shouldn’t have shown your back to him, most people you slept with didn’t ask questions like that but you should’ve expected it from him.

“honest answer?” you pulled on your jeans and bra, turning to face him, he’d pulled his boxers up, you masked the disappointment on your face. he nodded slow, a little bit worried what the answer was but still wanting to know all the same, he could guess based on the scar but he wanted to make sure. it was a circular indent, like something had pierced it. he didn’t feel anxious, he just felt this strange anger welling up in him.

“i got shot.” you said it nonchalantly, like it happened to everyone. carmy closed his eyes for a second as if you couldn’t see the flash of emotions on his face and when he opened them he just nodded, doing his best not to freak the fuck out. you were standing in front of him, looking like an angel sent just for him telling him you got shot. he wouldn’t survive you, but then he couldn’t think about just letting you go either.

“the other person?” a smile tugged at your lips, maybe carmen berzatto was different from what you thought.

“got it worse.” he nodded standing and grabbing your shirt from where it had been flung behind him, pulling it over your head as you watched him in amusement. you pushed down the feeling that sprung up from him dressing you, instead focusing on the graze of his fingers on your skin.

“you can ask me more you know?” you could see the questions on the tip of his tongue, his lips pursed like he was physically holding them back. you looped your arms through the shirt as he stood cross armed in front of you. you didn’t have anything to lose so your eyes didn’t leave his tattooed arms, tracing the veins and muscles along them. carmy blushed like a school girl at your actions, like his office didn’t still smell of sex.

“i don’t know if i’ll survive the answers.” he was being honest, his jaw clenched as he ruminated over all the worst case scenarios. his stomach flipping as your eyes found his once again.

“i guess ignorance is bliss,” you didn’t believe that, not really, in your line of work knowing everything possible was the only way to survive.

“you’re safe though right?” carmy realized he was being a little bit ridiculous given the circumstances but you could lie to him, try and convince him that yes you were safe. instead of answering you just looked at him, really looked at him, you tried to memorize the different hues of his eyes and the sharpness of his nose, the marks on his face. the longer you didn’t answer, the longer he felt a cold sweat line his back. he was running out of time, he needed to get back out. “what’s your number?” leaning over he grabbed his phone from his desk, his arm grazing yours. you put it in and handed it back, saving your contact as well.

“just uh tell me you’re okay alright?” it was probably the sweetest anyone’s been to you in a while, earnestly at least, and you pressed a kiss to his cheek nodding and slipping out of his office quietly. carmy did his best to conceal his red face as he got redressed and exited his office, met with yells and questions.

#carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto smut #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x you #carmen berzatto x you #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto imagine #carmy berzatto imagine

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deusexlachina · 4 months

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This game took fifteen hours to play and upset me! (good)

In Stars and Time probably wins for most upsetting video game I've played. It makes other games about depression feel like the fun roller coaster version of depression in comparison. Even Start Again, the game it's an extension of, looks extremely tame in comparison.

There's a number of things I've seen that are Trapped In A Time Loop. I don't think I've seen one this dark since Russian Doll. ISAT isn't as gritty as that, but it's as least as dark. It really puts the "trapped" in Trapped In A Time Loop, while still being fun. For me, not for the protagonist, Siffrin. He is not having fun.

One of the things that makes it work so well is that the characters (and to a lesser extent, the settings) are really lovingly made. I like Siffrin's party. If they were in a straight fantasy story, they'd work. That's what's missing most in a lot of Edgy Depression Games and cartoons - the sadness is real, but the joy is not. So it feels more hollow than sad. A good example is with magical girl shows: Madoka is a guilty pleasure and all the ripoffs are just execrable - you can feel them wanting to go straight to the torture, so they make characters just to be tortured, ensuring that not even the writer is invested in the cast.

ISAT, in contrast, showed me a cute, engaging adventure with terrific characters, and then forced me to watch as it all got stale and stagnant and twisted. With plenty of new parts scattered around, reminding you of what it's like to be curious and excited. At a certain point, I was skipping through dialogue less because I'd memorized it and more because it was painful to go through these tender scenes again, knowing they lost their impact on Siffrin long ago.

There's a few mechanics that didn't work for me. Having to fight monsters to loop forwards in time didn't feel necessary. Looping around is already monotonous; this mechanic doesn't add anything. As the game progresses, you end up looping forwards quite a bit, long after combat has ceased to be a challenge. Not being able to completely skip seen conversations - instead having to fast-forward through them - is also tedious but feels much more necessary to the story being told. The little animation you get of Siffrin nodding blankly as they metaphorically and literally mash through a conversation remained funny for me even to the end. Be sure to have dialogue speed set to instant and running set to always (why indie RPGs ever have a "walking" setting continues to confuse me).

Anyway, if you're looking for a game with great characters that's very sad without relying on a shitty ending, this is definitely worth checking out. Really not kidding about the heavy stuff, though. Caveat emptor, fuckers.

#in stars and time #start again: a prologue

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starkstruck27 · 10 months

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Last night I was watching Dylan Hollis on TikTok and it brought back a memory from my childhood that I forgot about until then, and then I thought, can I make some soft Harringrove out of this? And the answer is yes. Yes I can. Enjoy.

Steve had honestly thought that Billy had left ages ago. He'd just gotten up off the couch and mumbled something about being right back and then he just... disappeared.

At first hadn't thought much of it, maybe that he just needed space to process after Steve had pulled him over to cuddle while they watched a movie. Their relationship was still fairly new and Billy wasn't always the most touchy-feely person to begin with, so Steve thought that maybe he'd just overstepped a boundary by accident, and after a few minutes, Billy'd just needed a second to collect himself.

But Billy never came back. And after almost 30 minutes by himself, Steve kind of stopped expecting him to.

He was all set to just turn off the TV and just go to bed so he could try and figure out how to apologize to Billy the next time he saw him. He still wasn't exactly sure if he did anything wrong, but he figured it might just be better to bite the bullet on this one. Especially because it was Billy. Whoever said boys were less complicated than girls was a filthy liar. But just as Steve was about to get up, Billy strolled back in, all smiles as his socked feet shuffled on the carpet and his body nothing but relaxed as he flopped back down on the couch next to Steve.

"Where were you?" Steve asked as soon as he sat down, still slightly surprised that he was still there as he paused the movie.

"What do you mean?" Billy asked, trying not to laugh at the look Steve was giving him, as if he'd just swallowed the remote control.

"You said you'd be right back, but then you were gone for, like, a long time," Steve shrugged, "I honestly thought you left."

"Nah, man, I just had to take a shit," Billy grinned, his nose wrinkling up as he suppressed a laugh.

"For a half hour? Jesus, what did you eat?" Steve said, finally starting to catch some of Billy's happy attitude.

"Okay, so you know how I told you that Susan got a job at a nursing home?" Billy asked, a goofy smile on his face that Steve could definitely get used to.

"Yeah? But what does this have to do with you missing half the movie?" He asked.

"I'm about to tell you," Billy said, giggling like a fourth grader, "So, one of the things she gets to do is take whatever kitchen leftovers end up in the fridge in the break room. So every week or so, she brings home a styrofoam cup full of mashed prunes and makes me and Max eat some before bed every night. Max gets one spoonful and I have to choke down two of them. Every time she pulls that damn cup out of the freezer I want to scream, but I have to eat it or else Susan will get pouty and I start to feel guilty. But you'd be amazed what two spoonfuls of prunes does to a person. It's not pretty."

By this point, Billy and Steve were both laughing so hard they could hardly breathe, both at the absurdity of it all and at the other boy. Steve watched through the tears in his eyes at the way Billy's nose scrunched up and his curls bounced as he laughed hard enough to make his stomach hurt, and wondered how he could think he could leave. They'd been having a great night, and Billy was a completely different person when it was just the two of them. He never ran when it was just them. He should've known it was nothing.

"Oh, man, I needed that," Billy said as his laughter calmed down a little bit.

"So did I. I haven't laughed that hard since... Well, ever. I love that you can make me laugh like that." Steve said, taking Billy's hand and squeezing it. Billy squeezed back, his eyes bright and crinkling at the edges.

"Same here," he said, "But I have a question. Why did you think I left?"

"Well, like I said, you were gone for a while, and you got up just a few minutes after I pulled you over to cuddle with me. I thought you just got upset because I know you aren't always the most open to physical affection and I thought I creeped you out or something," Steve said, unable to look at Billy after that. He felt kinda bad about assuming the worst, and even worse for being kinda nervous to talk about it now. But again, he should've known not to worry, because Billy just smiled brighter and grabbed his chin to gently guide him into a kiss.

"You never have to worry about that when we're alone, Pretty Boy. I'd never turn you down when it's just the two of us. You make me feel safe and I like that feeling. And you're also really warm, so it's nice to cuddle you when we're watching movies and stuff, because then I never need a blanket," Billy said, nudging Steve's nose with his own and kissing him again.

"You mean that?" Steve asked, his heart feeling a little bit lighter as butterflies started fluttering in his stomach.

"Of course," Billy grinned, kissing him one last time before pushing him over so that he was lying down on the couch, then climbing on top of him. He wrapped Steve's arms around his shoulders and tangled their legs together, then rested head on Steve's chest and snuggled into the sweatshirt he was wearing. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," Steve grinned like a dope as he shifted just a bit to get more comfortable with Billy on top of him, "Yeah, this is perfect."

"Good. Now, tell me about the half of the movie I missed so that I'm not lost throughout the rest of it," Billy said.

Steve happily obliged the request, recapping the first part of the movie in great detail and beginning to run his fingers through Billy's hair. He couldn't help but smile as he swore Billy started purring like a cat under his touch, and by the time he finished his explanation, Billy was out cold. Steve was starting to get a little sleepy himself, so he clicked off the TV and figured they could just finish the movie another time before turning off the light on the table behind him and closing his eyes.

And if the next day, Steve woke up with a leg cramp and Billy drooling all over his chest, well, he supposed it was worth it, because it meant that Billy had stayed.

#my mom used to work at a nursing home #and she used to bring home prunes and make me and my siblings eat a spoonful every night #it was hell #billy hargrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove x steve harrington #harringrove #stranger things #ficlet

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skylarmoon71 · 3 months

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Harry Wells (Flash) - Earth 2 - Chapter 12

It’s hard watching someone you care about slowly forget who you are.

Harry knew that it was selfish to lie that day. But the truth was just too hard to swallow.

The conversation with the team still ran through his mind.

~Three Weeks Ago~

“You have to tell her!” Barry ordered.

When Barry woke up, he was less than pleased. They were elated when you sent a smile. But the way you were acting, it was clear you didn’t know the situation. They’d insisted that you rest. The second they’d regrouped in the cortex, Barry basically ripped into Harry.

“What good will that do, it won’t bring her memories back.”

“It doesn't matter! I’m not going to spend the last days we have with her lying to her face!! I’m going to tell her!” Barry moved to walk past, but Harry grabbed his arm, halting him.

“She has a chance to live these last days with us without feeling guilty for making that decision.” Barry’s body tensed, and the room fell quiet. Caitlin wasn’t sure what to say.

Cisco and Iris just wore expressions of regret.

“You remember how hard it was for her, living those years thinking that you hated her. Think about how much this would hurt her if she knew that removing the most horrible thing in her life took away the best thing she’s ever had. All of you.”

Barry didn’t want to admit it, but Harry was right. More than anything, he never wanted to see that look ever again. After the both of you had finally mended that bridge, he promised he’d never be the one to break it again. He would do whatever was necessary to give you the happy ending you deserved.

Harry released Barry’s hand. It dropped to his side.

“If she’s going to forget about us, then I’d rather it be at our expense, not hers.” Harry rationalized.

That’s the argument that he presented. He wanted you to be free from that burden.

So they laid out a plan. They would all take turns visiting you in Portland. Everyday, someone would spend some time with you and keep an update of your condition.

At first it was easy.

Barry wanted to be the first. Every Monday he scheduled dinner.

Each time it was just so amazing. There was a light in your eyes that he swore he’d never seen since that day. The first couple times seem to run over like a breeze.

That one afternoon when he showed up with Iris, you were elated. You wouldn’t stop rambling about the steady ease of your job and your hilarious colleagues.

It was great.

But then it just seemed to come out of nowhere…

“W-Who the hell are you people!! What are you doing in my house?!”

There was fear and confusion on your face as you held out a metal spoon, the same one you’d left to grab to serve them the mashed potato.

“(Y/N), it’s us. Barry and Iris.”

He pointed between the both of them, no longer seated. Just standing at a distance. He couldn’t forget it, that look.

Like they were strangers.

Like he was a stranger.

“You both have three seconds to get out of my house before I call the cops!!” You were waving the spoon around threateningly, and Iris sent Barry a look. He wanted to stay there, plead for you to remember, but she shook her head. Because the longer he stood there, the more frightened you looked.

“Okay, we’re leaving.”

He took Iris’s hand, and they both exited the house. The door slammed behind them, and he heard the click of the lock.

It felt almost poetic.

You weren’t just locking them out of your house, but also your life.

When Cisco visited on Tuesday, he prepared for the worst.

“Cisco! It’s about time. I was about to eat all this licorice on my own. Come in.”

Of course he hesitated.

Yet, it was nice. To see you wear such a warm expression as you vented about a rebel student in your class.

“Could you believe he said that I was a bad professor. Oh how I wish he were a criminal.”

Cisco laughed.

“I don’t think you would get away with attacking him, even if you are an ex cop.”

You raise a brow.

“An ex-cop? Cisco, what are you talking about? That’s funny. Me, a cop. I can’t even picture it.”

You continued on as if nothing happened, too invested in your rantings to see the color drain from his face.

That afternoon when he got back to Star Labs, he panicked.

“Something is wrong! You said she would only forget the memories she had with us, the ones about Thawne and the speedforce, all of it. But she was a cop way before she joined our team. Caitlin she doesn't remember being a cop!!”

He was hysterical, for good reason.

“I…That doesn’t make sense.”

The entire analysis was wrong and there was nothing they could do about it.

Caitlin made a point to carry out her visit with you coming to Star labs.

“Who are all those people outside Caitlin?”

Barry, Cisco and Iris were peering in and you gave an awkward wave.

“They’re..” Caitlin stopped, sending Harry a look.

“Just my coworkers.”

It was like swallowing an uncomfortably large pill.

Harry did his best to stick to the task at hand as Caitlin strapped on all the many patches to your body.

The rhythm of your heart was steady.

“Are you alright, any discomfort?” Harry asked.

You shook your head.

“Nope. I’m fine. Thanks again for doing this. I know it must be tedious. You even got your friend to help out. I’m sorry but what did you say your name was?” Your eyes were trained on Caitlin, and she stopped all action. You wore a friendly smile and Caitlin did her best not to show the expression of hurt that rushed through her body. She finally understood how terrible it felt. She always prepared herself when she saw her friends walk in one by one with sullen eyes. But now, experiencing it, feeling that tightness in her chest as someone who was once so close had no idea who she was.

It hurt.

“You’re welcome.”

She barely managed to force out the words, continuing with the procedure.

In the span of two months, years of memories, smiles, love, friendship, it was all gone.

This was the new reality.

A very harsh one.

#negativespeedforce #speedsters #trust #powers #harrisonwells #secrets #harryxreader #memories #flash #family

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spikybanana · 2 years

Text

@wolfstarmicrofic - prompt: lemons - here, have some utter nonsense. sorry not sorry. coffee shop au meet cute except it's a bubble tea shop

Here they are, on a bright, brilliant, bright morning, criminally early on a Friday. And when Sirius imagined a Friday morning bathed in the freedom of having ran from home, they didn’t think it’d be stressing out about running a bubble tea shop by themself. Because Mary was late. Again. But it’s fine. They can handle the shop alone, never mind they’ve barely been here for a week.

The door squeaks when it swings open, and Sirius begrudgingly looks up— and freezes, all entrepreneurial annoyances instantly forgotten. Surely, they’re looking at cookie dough on legs and kneaded into human form, who manages to lay a spell on them with a single dimpled small smile. Standing in front of Sirius is the most implausibly adorable specimen of a person he’d ever seen. Their sweet features frame cheeks glowing from the early winter chill, and are set atop an unlikely, unseemly mash of jumper, uniqlo checkered scarf, track pants (that look inherited from high school days), and a windbreaker that rustles when they lifts a hand to swipe floppy brown hair away from their eyes.

“Um, hello.” They say, adjusting the bag slung over their shoulder, when Sirius has spent entirely too long gaping in silence.

“Hi.” Sirius clears their throat, gathers their jaws, and thinks about banging their head on the wall. “what can I get for you today?”

“Just the classic brew, please. Half sugar less ice,” they replied concisely, quietly confident. “And, ah, could I have it with oat milk instead of cow’s milk?”

“Um, okay. Sure…” Sirius is too busy watching the way their intelligent eyes flash as they speak, that they fumble and entirely mess up the order on the till. Fuck. I’ll deal with that later. Sirius looks back up, to see the stranger looking at them with an extremely amused tilt of their head. “Y’alright?” Sirius asks.

“Yes, yes of course,” they chuckle, “no one else here has quite taken the oat milk part in stride before.”

“Oh, was I supposed to?” Sirius flashes a grin, “Well, I’m new here, but I’ll offer the retrospective judgement if that’ll make you feel more at home.”

Sirius mentally pats themself on the back as the other laughs, then grimaces at the till screen, which is now flashing alarmingly. They quickly look away, and picks up a paper cup. “Could I have your name?”

“It’s Remus.”

Remus doesn’t mention that the question is entirely unnecessary, since no one else was in the shop, and Sirius doesn’t resist drawing a little wolf on the cup instead. Their tongue pokes out the side of their mouth and only too late does Sirius realise Remus is watching them the whole while. “Well!” Sirius abruptly turns away, cheeks heating, “one oat milk classic brew coming up!”

Sirius mutters and curses at themself the entire time as they throw together the milk tea, dumping the pearls into the cup a bit more violently than necessary. But they can’t shake the jittery nerves that has decided to overtake them, and Sirius staunchly ignores every insistent gaze Remus sends their way, as though the flutter in their chest needs exacerbating.

By the time Sirius gathers enough of themself to turn back to the counter, proudly setting the drink down and finally tapping the order onto the (happily recovered) till, Remus is looking at them with a dreadfully guilty expression.

“I’ve not got my wallet with me.” Remus says. "I am extremely dreadfully horribly sorry."

Sirius blinks. “Excuse me?”

“I tried to call you! And you very much should have made me pay first!”

Sirius curses, like the utter professional they were, “Oh bloody— I’m new here!” Sirius taps away wildly on the screen, cancel order, cancel, where does it say cancel. “You should take the drink. No one else’s going to want the oat milk, in any case.”

“Right,” Remus laughs weakly, “I’ve— got a lemon, though.”

“What?”

“I don’t know…” Sure enough, Remus has pulled a lemon out of nowhere, and is hesitantly rolling it between their fingers. “it’s the only barter-able thing I’ve got in my bag.”

“Why’ve you— never mind. This should cost you around ten lemons, if you must.” Sirius crosses their arms, teasingly pouts until Remus again looks at ease again.

The interested smirk slowly returns to their lips. “Oh, well. I'll just have to come back again to bring you the rest, then?" Remus pick up the cup, one brow jumping at the small drawing.

Sirius grins happily. "I'm counting on it."

#wolfstar #microfic #wolfstar microfic #muggle au #bubble tea shop au #sirius black #remus lupin #meet cute #god I wish I haven't messed up the pronouns #pls let me know if I did #modern au

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biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Note

HI WELCOME BACK! if i could request 'modern dad' levi x reader. i don't mind the format. im so happy your back!

HI! I MISSED U SM!!! Also this idea has been living RENT FREE in my brain so thanks for sending it in. If you're looking for more of this content I have a WIP that features dad! Levi x nanny! reader if you haven't checked it out yet go give it a read :)

Summary: Levi is a dad :)

Word Count: 1.3K

___

Levi knew that parenting wouldn't be easy. He had grown up with a sketchy idea of what it took to parent, having lost his mom so young and living with his detached uncle. So when you told him that you were pregnant with teary eyes and a quivering lip he had turned his back, unsure of his feelings.

At first he felt guilty, putting this burden on you. You however assured him that it was fine, that you would do whatever made him feel most comfortable. You had even had the audacity to suggest raising the child on your own, he of course refused.

Growing up in a single parent home had been less than ideal for himself and he would rather be caught dead than being a deadbeat dad. So after about three days of space, he came to you and told you his feelings. He told you how much he would hate to see you go through pregnancy alone, hate to see the child grow up as he had.

You had hugged him and cried into his chest as he rubbed your back. Now, nearly three years later, he couldn't have been happier with his decision. Even if he was covered in mashed peas and baby barf for the majority of those years. He wouldn't have traded it for the world. Every morning your daughter woke you up at six with tiny hands smushing cheeks and knees digging into ribs. She had his hair and eyes, but all of your charisma. She was stubborn and loud, extroverted and curious of the world. Levi had feared that he wouldn't have known what to do with her. The first time he held her in his arms was indeed the first time he had ever held such a small human.

Growing up in such a small family, he had never grown accustomed to children, as he cradled her small head, your hands guided him to support her bottom as you pressed her into his chest. He barely fought the tears form his eyes as the nurses congratulated him and you on your first child. She wore a small pink hat, swaddled in one of the hospitals newborn blankets.

Now she was racing around the house, bare feet slapping loudly against hardwood floors, sticky hands smearing handprints on his white walls. But he wasn't mad about the noise, or the mess for the first time in his life. He watched you as you parented her effortlessly, encouraging her to use her words and reading her mood flawlessly.

If she was fussy and extra stubborn, you would ignore her wails and snotty nose, instead heading into the kitchen to cut up an apple and dish out some peanut butter. As she ate the snack with tear filled eyes you nudged Levi's side and grinned softly at him.

"Peanut butter fixes everything." You explained as you leaned into his side. He scoffed and watched her scarf down the last of the apple slices, completely complacent.

"Now tell me what's wrong." You encouraged her and she let out a loud sigh.

"I wanna go outside." She said, her cheeks smudged with peanut butter. Levi turned and grabbed a fresh wash cloth, wetting it with warm water and crossing the room to clean off her rosy cheeks.

"Baby, it's raining outside." You reasoned and she grunted as Levi scrubbed her face.

"I wanna catch frogs." She whined and Levi's lip curled in disgust. Ever since Hange had babysat that one rainy weekend she wouldn't shut up about frogs.

"Okay, let's get your rain boots on." You said, heading towards the mud room where the shoes and coats were kept.

"Yes!" She squealed, throwing her arms around Levi's neck and pressing her damp cheek to his. He huffed, pulling her from her seat and carrying her after you. They found you pulling on a pair of old boots and a windbreaker, Levi helped Violet into her own rain gear. She could hardly sit still as he fastened the last button on her rain slicker. "You comin?" You asked as you pulled the garage door open, pressing the button to raise the garage door.

"I'll pass." He said, ruffling Violets dark locks before pulling her hood on.

"We'll bring in the findings." You said as you stepped out of the house, Violet hot on your heels.

"Those slimy things are not coming in here." Levi called after you as you waved a hand dismissively over your shoulder.

Thirty minutes later you came in sopping wet with a bucket full of bull frogs. Levi had tried to wrestle you out of the door but Violet reached into the bucket, pulling out easily the biggest, slimiest frog Levi had ever seen.

"His name is Booger!" She exclaimed as she held the fat frog by it's armpits.

"Get. That thing out of here now." Levi said, taking a step away from his daughter who took two tiny steps forwards. You hardly covered your laughter as Levi grabbed a nearby wooden spoon and pointed at Violet who continued to pursue him into the kitchen.

"Daddy look at his pretty spots!" She insisted as the frog let out a chorus of loud croaking. You set the bucket of smaller frogs back into the garage and pulled your phone out of your pocket to record the scene unfolding.

"He's ugly, get him out of here."

"Apologize!" Violet gasped, using her fingers to cover the frog's ears.

"No, get it out." Levi brandished the spoon, Violet squealed and thrust the frog forward with a toothy grin.

"He wants a kiss!" Violet giggled as the frog croaked loudly again.

"So help me I will drop kick that monstrosity out the front door." Levi growled, shooting a pointed glare at you and your camera.

"How rude!" Violet huffed, turning around with a loud squeak from her boots as she made her way back towards the garage.

"Unless you take the cleanest shower of your life, I will not be sleeping with you tonight." Levi threatened as you took the frog from her.

"You'd love that wouldn't you." You giggled as you pocketed your phone and turned to go release the frogs. He sighed loudly and placed the spoon back on the counter as the door closed behind you.

That night was spent bathing Violet head to toe after she splashed in one too many puddles. This was the part of parenting that Levi had no problem with, he was an expert at scrubbing her pale skin clean and picking up the trail of toys she left in her wake. He wrapped Violet in a warm towel as you finished up dinner in the other room. He helped her into her pajamas and she looped her arms around him with a content sigh.

"You're better at that than mommy." She complimented and Levi's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he carried her into the dining room.

"Mommy's good too, but you always do it best." She smiled and Levi grunted, lips turning up in a small grin.

"That's 'cause your mom's shit at cleaning." He reasoned and Violet giggled. You came in, placing a plate of mac and cheese down in front of her as Levi planted a kiss to the crown of her head.

"And you suck at cooking." You countered and Levi quirked a brow as he looked down at the boxed mac and cheese that Violet was so eagerly shoveling into her mouth.

"Anyone can make boxed mac and cheese." Levi teased and you punched his arm with a pout.

"Shut up." You giggled and he rolled his eyes, pulling you in for a tight hug, you wrapped your arms around him and eased into his grasp. How had he gotten so lucky? He wondered as he held you close, the rain pattering outside as flashes of lightning lit up the dim room.

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dragon-kazansky · 3 years

Text

Not worthy | Helmut Zemo

Requested by anon & @trelaney

I'm mashing together two requests I got that had the same prompt about each side not feeling deserving of the other.

Every single time you looked at him, you felt it. It came to you very suddenly, and you couldn't let it show you felt this way. He would be so disappointed if he knew how you felt.

Zemo treated you like no one else ever had. He showered you in love, spoilt you when ever he felt like it, would take you anywhere you wanted if you said the word.

It was more than you ever deserved. You were not worthy of the Baron. That's how you felt anyway.

Zemo was handsome, charming, a gentleman, talented. He was so far out of tour league it was insane, yet somehow you had him. He was yours. He would hold your hand, kiss your forehead, hold you at night. It was you he took to dinner, drove around in his fancy cars, made love to.

Zemo was yours.

Yet, you couldn't just accept that. It was too much. It was a constant mindset of, he could do better. He deserved better.

You had no idea what was going through his own head. Everytime Zemo looked at you, it was as of he was looking at the stars. He looked at you with such awe, it was almost impossible to put into words.

You could do so much better than him.

He wasn't worthy of your time. Every time you smiled made his heart want to explode from happiness. Every time you laughed he wanted to listen to that sound forever.

But he wasn't a good man.

You deserved someone who wasn't a target. Someone who wasn't tainted. Someone who didn't have blood on his hands. You were far too good for his broken soul.

There had been many nights where he would lie beside you and watch over you, thinking about letting you go. He could only feel like he was holding you back.

Why would stay with him?

The thought that he was perhaps pressuring you to stay with him crossed his kind, and boy did that make him feel guilty.

As in love with you he was, because he had fallen so hard for you, he couldn't help thinking this way.

He was looking at you now. A smile on his lips, eyes following you as you went about your business. He was so hopelessly in love with you.

"You're staring."

He focuses back into reality, lost in the thought of you for a moment. He smiles as you come over and sit with him. He can't help but notice how shy you appear to be.

"Apologies."

"It's fine."

You shuffle in your seat, avoiding his gaze. There was clearly something on your mind and he couldn't help wondering if this was it. Was he right all along? Did you want to leave?

"Is something the matter?" He asks, voice soft.

"I, uh... I want to ask you something?"

Zemo turns all his attention to you. On the outside he appears the same composed charming Baron he usually is, but on the inside, his mind is coming up with all sorts of scenarios. He couldn't help the idea that this conversation was going to end badly.

"What is it?" He asks.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking and I can't keep it to myself any more."

No matter how hard he tries, you can see his facade slipping. Now you're worried about him. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, but at the same time you had to.

"Actually, so have I."

You stare at him. Maybe this was inevitable.

"I see."

"Allow me to say my peace," Zemo says, sitting upright. You nod. He clears his throat. "I've decided it's best we end things here. I cannot hold you back any longer. I am no good for you. I do not deserve your kindness, your loyalty, your love. I am a broken soul with blood on his hands, and you do not deserved to be tainted by that."

You stare wide eyed at him.

"Please understands I'm doing this for you own good. I have only loved someone like this twice in my life, and I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to love you so. I just cannot let you stay here when you could do so much better out there."

"Zemo... I didn't know you felt that way. That's exactly what I was going to say."

"You?"

"Yeah. I don't deserve you. You're far too out of my league. I'm the one holding you back. I can only imagine how much you could be doing, yet you're here with me. You're the perfect gentleman, you express your love so fully that it's wasted on little old me. I don't deserve the way you treat me, how you spoil me."

Now it's his time to stare.

"Nonsense, you deserve nothing less than what I can offer you," he says, softly.

You shake your head.

"I don't deserve your money, your gifts, your affection."

Zemo doesn't want to hear it any more. He wraps you up in his arms and holds you to him, kissing your temple.

"We are fools."

You chuckle. "Yes, we are."

"How dare you think yourself unworthy. You deserve only the best. I was more worried about you being with a man whose hands are stained red."

You sit up and take his hands in yours, kissing them over and over.

"I have not, and will not, let that stop me from being in love with you. Zemo, I adore you more than anything. I was concerned you would get bored of me and thought we should talk. I feel so silly for even letting it get to me. I know you love me, I know you do."

Zemo chuckles.

"Of course I do." He kisses your forehead affectionately.

"This conversation was pointless, wasn't it?"

"No entirely. I think it was better for us to speak out minds rather than stew on those thoughts. I hope, as long as you'll have me, that you know I have no intention of letting you. I'll be spoiling you rotten as I always have."

You smile brightly at him.

"You really don't have to, but I'm glad to hear that. I have no intention of leaving you, Helmut."

He kisses you.

There would always be doubt, but you were determined to show Zemo you loved him more than anything. For Zemo, he would continue to treat you the way you deserve.

You were both worthy of the other.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406

#zemo #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #zemo x reader #baron helmut zemo #marvel #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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liddolwhynot2000 · 3 years

Text

For You

____________________________________

Summary: Humanity's Strongest Soldier had quit the military. For you.

Pairing: Levi/Reader

Genre: Levi in looooveee, liddol angsty, happy ending, drama, dad!Levi

Words: 3.3K

____________________________________

[Note: This isn't a direct sequel to 'Falling'. But it falls in the same universe. If you want to read about how Levi met and fell for reader in this universe, check out my story Falling.]

____________________________________

'Levi what are you doing here-'

'I'm about to hold our daughter.'

'I can see that darling, but you're supposed to be at work. '

The short man didn't bother answering you, instead opting to pick up your two year old daughter. Little Kutchel squealed in delight, happily chanting 'papa'.

'Mamaaa.'

You felt a tug at your skirt, your one year old son was clinging to you. Farlan whimpered, his hands raised high, clearly wanting you to pick him up. With a sigh, you did so and realized he needed a diaper change.

'I'll be back in a few, and then we'll talk.'

Your only response was Levi complaining about how 'brat-the-first needed to stop drooling so much' as he raised a giggling Kutchel high in the air.

....................

Usually, once you managed to put your beloved children to sleep with a lullaby, you gazed at them in awe, affectionaly tucking them in. Both of them took after their father completely, his black hair and steel eyes. Farlan's hair was almost the same as Levi's, much to your amusement. Kutchel was a rather active and loud baby while Farlan was a little on the quiet side. You usually missed Levi on nights like these, wishing he could visit more. Tonight, however, you felt more uneasy rather then happy at his sudden presence.

'I quit.'

'You what?'

You couldn't believe your ears, surely you had heard him wrong.

'You heard me. I. Quit.'

'But why?'

No matter how hard you tried, he wouldn't give you a straight answer. No amount of questioning or pouting would work on him. In the end, he strolled up to you, rough hands gently holding your upper arms.

'Look, I had my reasons. Things got unbearable for me and-'

'But don't they need you-'

'They should have thought of that before. Now listen, I've already got another job lined up, so we don't need to worry about moneu-'

'But Levi, I still don't understand why you-'

'Just trust me. It's messed up shit.'

Looking into his eyes, the same eyes you had hopelessley fallen for all those years ago, you gave in. Of course you trusted him, how could you not? You wouldn't have married the man otherwise. ____________________________________

Things began to change as you got used to seeing Levi everyday. When the two of you had met, you had worked as a cook for the garrison engineers living near the Survey Corps Headquarters. Back then, seeing each other daily hadn't been an issue. But after getting married and having kids, you had moved into his house in the nearby village. It meant less time together as a family, but you had wanted your children to have stability.

You sat on the couch, well more or less laid on the couch, watching Levi entertain your children. All three of them of them sat on the floor, with toys scattered everywhere on the carpet.

Farlan played with some blocks, happily gurgling as he tried to figure them out. Kutchel, on the other hand, busied herself with Levi.

You could only laugh at the sight of Levi's deadpan expression as Kutchel climbed all over him. Neither of had seen it coming, but your babies had inherited the Ackerman strength ten fold. Holding up their necks extremely early, climbing out of their cribs, easily lifting things that were too heavy for normal babies.

When Kutchel had been seven months old, the two of you had woken up to find that not only had she escaped her crib, she had managed to climb into your bed and cuddle with Levi. Although befuddled, the sight of the two of them had been heartwarming beyond words, and you hadn't been overly cocnerned.

Her displays of unnatural strength had been, well, less then pleasant for the two of you. It had put you on guard. The near heart attack you had suffered through, when your one year old baby girl had hauled up one end of the sofa with her teeny tiny hand, while trying to get a toy that had gotten stuck there, had almost been too much. Levi had been torn between horror and amusement at the time, before intervening. And well, both of you preferred not remember how Farlan had smacked his tiny fist against the brand new wooden table during a tantrum and caused it to collapse.

'You brats will eat sitting on the goddamn floor for the rest of your lives now. I don't have the money to buy a table if your just going to-'

'Levi, they're just babies, let them be-'

'Oh I see, so we're selling your kidney to buy a new table-'

'Darling don't be so dramatic-'

Kutchel and Farlan merely ignored their irate father, babbling as they played with their toys.

The Ackerman strength was hereditary, the two of you had concluded. Hange had theorised that with every new generation, that unbelievable strength only grew, to the point that they could access it at an extremely young age. It was manageable for now, you mused to yourself, but it wouldn't be long till Levi would have to train them lest they hurt someone by accident. You got off the couch and slid to the floor, cooing to your son. Levi was scowling as he held Kutchel at arms length.

'Stop trying to rip my hair out, you brat.'

Kutchel leaned towards him while babbling. Levi allowed her little hands to rest on his cheeks, his expression softening at her grin.

'Wuv Papaa.'

You beamed at the sight, before turning your attention back to Farlan. He had been avidly bashing two blocks together and would burst out laughing at the sound. You gently caught him before he fell from the force of his laughter.

It had been a while since the two of you had been this peaceful.

...........

When the two of you had managed to put your babies down for a nap, you remembered some things that you needed to buy. Rushing out, you went to the market, hoping the shops you needed to go to weren't too packed today. Much to your suprise, during your excursion, you saw some of the Survey Corps members. You recognised them as the Special operations Squad. While you weren't necessarily friends with them, you did know their names.

As if reading your mind, one by one, they all caught sight of you. Another day, they would waved at you and maybe approached to help woth the bags. However, there were no signs of those friendly expressions today. In fact, you couldn't help but notice how they were looking at you. It made you feel as as if you had been the Colossal Titan that knocked down Wall Maria and ruined their lives. The ginger haired girl, Petra, was the one who really caught your attention. She had looked oddly guilty, and as though she was apologising with her eyes for a moment, before copying her comrades sullen expressions.

Startled and beyond confused, you opted to walk away from their line of vision. Your fears, that you had hoped were baseless, were slowly being confirmed. Levi quitting the military hadn't been well recieved. And if the way his former squad had looked at you had been any indication, they thought you had something to do with his decision.

____________________________________

Kutchel had been particularly fussy that night, unwilling to go sleep.

'Pway!' she had cried out, struggling in Levi's arms. It had taken a while but soon enough you were lying in bed, both your children deep asleep as you tucked them in blankets. The two of you had been exhausted, so when you heard the knock on the door, a very irritated Levi had quietly gone to check it out.

When he didn't return for a while and you heard muffled noises, you silently went to check on him, stopping short at the door at the sound of Petra's voice.

'-captain please reconsider-'

'Petra's right captain, we need you-'

'That's enough.'

They all straightened up.

'I'm no longer your captain-'

They all deflated, looking ready to argue. Levi held a hand up to silence them.

'I wish you all well in life. Don't involve yourself in this. This is between the higher ups and I.'

'Captain, we know this is because of your-'

'None of you know shit. Focus on going your damn jobs and minding your own business. Now leave.'

Olou, Petra, Gunther and Eld looked despondent as they made to leave.

'Petra-stay back for a minute'

All of them look surprised and curious, but didn't bother asking questions and left. They figured Petra would tell them what had happened later. The conversation took a weird turn you hadn't quite expected.

'You have some nerve coming all the way to my house after all the bullshit you pulled.'

'Captain- I didn't mean to, you know that. I was only following orders-'

'So your orders mentioned you bullshitting to everyone that I left the military because my wife asked me to?'

'...Captain I didn't say that. Everyone assumed-'

'And you allowed it. Don't fucking lie, you just didn't want any heat to fall on you. Stay away from her. Or else. I don't care what you're ordered to do. You've already made the situation worse then it should be.'

'Captain please-'

'Out. Now. Nothing you say can excuse the shit you pulled.'

As you heard Petra leave, you felt that sinking feeling in your stomach grow. So Levi had left the military for you. And the military hated you for it. The real questions was, why? ____________________________________

You watched your husband as he spoon fed mashed potatoes to Kutchel. His face was scrunched up in disgust, as Kutchel made sure that at least half the food ended up on her face and clothes. Farlan was taking a nap, happily tucked away in your arms.

'Kutchel--for the love of- eat your shitty food!'

'Darling, language-'

'I'm trying, just look at the shitty mess she's making, I might have a heart attack-'

'Shit!'

The two of you paused, staring in stunned silence as your two year old began chanting the one word you had hoped she wouldn't pick up from your husband. Levi avoided your gaze, no doubt knowing it was his fault, and instead started making feeble attempts at stopping Kutchel.

'Oi don't say that-'

'Shit papwaa!'

'What? No. Brat-the-first, you better forget you ever heard that-'

You chuckled a little, the sight of your usually calm and composed husband panicking was too funny. You struggled to maintain your smile, however, as last night flashed in your mind again.

Everything seemed fine. Levi was content. Your children were happy. His new job was paying well. He was home more then ever. Even if he had quit the military for you, the two of you were living your life even better then before. There hadn't been any changes in your loving relationship.

But, as you watched Levi scowl and carry a displeased Kutchel off for a bath she very much didn't want, you knew you wouldn't be able to continue on without any doubts. Not until you and Levi properly talked about this.

You didn't care if the military blamed you for Levi leaving and hated your guts. You only cared if the man himself was actually okay with his decision.

You don't want to be the reason for him to break his tradition of living no regrets.

____________________________________

You ended up putting off talking to him. At first by a few hours, then by a few days. Eventually days turned to weeks and somehow, it had been four months since he had quit the military.

While this could be largely attributed to you being a coward, it was also how busy the two of you had gotten. Farlan had a rough teething phase, Kutchel had decided to make a sport out of kicking the fridge and trying to climb out the window, and Levi's job had a new project he had gotten busy in.

On a sunny afternoon, you held your daughters hand, and kept your son hiked on your hip as you walked out of the market. What you didn't know was that, as you struggled to carry your shopping bags and manage your mischievous children, someone would help you. And, after walking you home, that someone would give you the answers to all the questions you had wanted to ask Levi.

Years later, you would silently wonder if Erwin Smith had come there that day on purpose. It was likely, after too many years of working with Levi, he had known Levi would rather die before telling you something like this.

____________________________________

In all the time you had known Levi Ackerman, which amounted to a good five years now, you had learned a great deal about him. His strength, strong will, desire to protect, his devotion to being a soldier, his dreams for the future. All his highs and lows, ones that no one else had ever been pivy to, you knew them by heart.

You knew the most regret he had ever felt in his life was when Isabel and Farlan died. You knew his heart ached when even one soldier lost their life in battle. You knew the most flustered he had ever been in his life was when he had wanted to confess to wanting to be in a relationship with you, only for Hange to scream declare his feelings to you instead.

Thankfully, no one else had been there, or else Hange wouldn't be alive right now. And he had made sure to ask you out in his own sweet and romantic way later.

You had seen him get emotional more times then anyone else. At the birth of your children. Their first words. Kutchel learning how to crawl and following him around everywhere, her first decleration of love for her 'pwapa'. Farlan crying everytime he left for work, clinging to his leg as he whined. The two of you had built a family together, leading a largely satisfying life together. However, the danger and importance of his job had never escaped you.

You had always known you were second to his duty as a soldier. He would have to go on long missions, ditch dates, miss birthdays and not be able to tell you anything about his work, but you accepted it.

You never expected more then he could offer, preferring to enjoy whatever time you could have with him. You were fully okay with being the second choice, and so, you certainly hadn't expected him to take such a big decision.

To pick you over duty.

'Zackley.....ordered you to take a second wife?'

Levi winced, his eyes determinedly staring at the floor. There was some shame in his eyes, as though he had committed some crime. With a deep sigh, he sat next to you on the couch and braced himself to give you answers. Your children were sound asleep in your bed, while the two of you sat in the living room.

'Word got around about Kutchel and Farlan having abnormal strength. Zackley initially wanted me to sign a shitty contract and agree to both of them joining the military. I told him to fuck off.'

'The military wanted to use our children as soldiers? Levi you should have told me-'

'I didn't want to worry you. Frankly, I was half scared Zackley would approach you and try to bullshit you into agreeing with him.'

'... What happened after you refused?'

'He started pushing for me to have more kids. One's I wouldn't be..attached to-'

'--with another woman.'

The severe expression on Levi's face gave away exactly how much he hadn't appreciated that particular line of thought.

'I turned him down. But Zackley started placing pressure. The shitty old man just got greedy because he wanted more super soldiers. Kept pushing random women on me, and then someone theorized that if my children with you, a civillian, were that strong, then with another soldier they would be even stronger....'

You frowned, you hadn't wanted to believe Erwin but..

'.. He picked Petra. That idiot didn't turn him down. Mostly because of orders and partially because of that stupid, childish crush she has on me.'

You were at loss of how to respond, feeling too much for you to even think about putting into words. So that's why why Petra had let everyone think it had been your fault Levi had quit the military.

If she had told the truth, she would have to admit that she had agreed to marry and bear the children of an already married man. And while it would have been under orders, it would have ruined her reputation.

Levi mistook your sudden silence as something else, genuine panic flashing in his eyes. He kneeled down in front of you, hands immediately grabbing yours. His voice was shook a little as he hurried to reassure you.

'I swear, nothing fucking happened. I ignored it all as long as I could. Then Zackley had the nerve to give an official written order and threatened to court martial me. I broke the goddamn table and walked away from the military that day and--hey, look at me'

His hand gently nudged your chin up, steel eyes looked sorrowful at the sight of your watery ones.

'.. W-what if you regret it?'

Levi shook his head a little, opening his mouth to argue. You didn't let him.

'The military has been with you for so long. How do I know you won't regret this five years from now? I know you loved that job Levi, I don't want you to give up-'

'I'm not giving up shit. I loved that job because I agreed with where they were heading. Their goals. The moment they started pulling dumb crap like this, I m wasn't going to stick around.'

He sat next to you again, right arm wrapping around your shoulders, his left hand hand tucked between your hands.

'Erwin said it would be better if I just left for a while. Zackley is senile and he's in a stubborn mood. Once the Queen gives birth to her child, which is any day now, she'll end this nonsense.'

'Are you sure?'

'Definitely. That brat hasn't been well, so Zackley has been in complete control this entire time. Its why he got so ballsy, the queen wouldn't approve of this shit. We wanted to avoid risking more friction in the military, and me quitting was the answer. Erwin figured it would be a lesson for them to see how much they needed me or some shit. '

You leaned into his chest, feeling much more calm now. So everything would end up okay, he wouldn't have to leave behind the job he had poured his blood, sweat and tears into.

'This is why I didn't tell you this shit. Fucking politics and crappy old men.'

'No, I needed to know....'

You pulled away from him, only to settle yourself in his lap. Your lips brushed against his gently.

'.. You really do love us, don't you?'

'Tch whatever.'

The slight redness visible on his cheeks gave away how he truly felt.

____________________________________

A/N: I know, I said I'd consider making a confession chapter. But I got this idea stuck my head and I figured, hey why not just set it in the same universe. Now that this idea is out of my system, I'll get started on it. I hope y'all enjoyed this! My asks are open, so you can make requests or ask whatever you want really. Till next time ⭐⭐

#aot #snk #AOT #SNK #levi ackerman #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #Dad! Levi #Happy Levi #Politics suck #Levi x reader #Reader insert #Strong acker children

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sandwichrin · 3 years

Text

A Little into You (Junkyu x Reader) (Ch. 25)

Chapter 25 - Bridge Burn

Word count: 6.4k words

Genre: Fanfiction, PG13, Comedy, Romance.

A/N: Hi! :’) Here’s the update! Also, this chapter’s a little longer than usual-- I hope you all don’t mind 😥 also! Hope you all enjoy this one, please look forward for the next one <3

“I just don’t get why he’d ask you to run errands for him like this,” Soomin nagged as she helped grab several napkins and paper straws from the side of the counter.

You were standing beside her, a receipt in your hand as your eyes scanned the items in the list, making sure that you’ve ordered every single one that Bomin had asked for.

“Aigoo, unnie. Just let it be. It’s the least I could do anyways,” you said with a sigh.

Soomin shook her head at this. “Erm no way. I’m not putting up with this. He was never like this, you know? He’s always been a gentleman, respectful to everyone,”

“Sure, unnie,” you replied, not paying full attention to what she was saying as your head kept glancing over at the order pickup counter, in case your order has completed.

“Did you see the glare I gave him when he called you to gather orders from everyone in the room? The nerve! Asking my staff to run around taking orders like a waitress!” she continued nagging, clearly dissatisfied as to how her very own best friend was treating her staff—well, you in particular.

You chuckled, “It’s fine, unnie. I don’t have much tasks to do anyways.”

Soomin frowned at you. “Don’t let people step on you like that, y/n.”

“I won’t.”

“But you’re complying to whatever he tells you to do,”

“We’re working with him, unnie. Doesn’t that make him sort of my boss too for the time being?”

“Yeah, but I’m your leader. I get the final say,”

You let out another sigh, aware that you’re not going to win this argument with your leader. You simply nodded and replied an ‘okay’ to her to make sure she drops the subject already.

You glanced over the watch on your wrist, noticing that it was almost lunchtime.

“Oh, right,” Soomin’s voice said, making you turn to her again.

“Hm?”

“Do you have something going on with that guy?” Soomin asked casually as she fixed her strand of wavy hair to the back of her ear.

You tilt your head in response, not knowing who she was referring to.

“Oh come on, y/n. Don’t give me that look.” She chuckled. “Everyone on the 5th floor has talked about it,”

“Talk about what?” you asked, clearly confused as to what was going around about you.

“Oh, you know. You and Chani.”

“Oh, that.” You laughed. “We’re just good friends. I mean, I’ve only known him when we started this workshop in this company,”

“I see. You both look kinda close to each other. Some of the staff said you both were dating,”

Your eyes widened when she said this. You shook your head, denying what you heard. “Pfft, no way! We’re just friends, really.”

Soomin chuckled at your response. “Alright, I trust you.”

YGE Building (Junkyu’s studio)

Junkyu stared blankly at the screen in front of him. He was supposed to be working on the lyrics of one of his own self-written songs, but instead he was letting himself get distracted.

He pulled off the headphones from his head and placed it onto the table.

Pushing his chair to the back, Junkyu leans into the chair and lets out a sigh.

He wasn’t in the mood to write the song at all today. He took out his phone from his pocket and unlocks the home screen.

He checks up on the text he’s sent you and noticed the ‘seen’ sign underneath the message he sent.

He squints his eyes and stared at the screen up close like as if he’s searching for a hidden message in the chat.

Junkyu shakes his head, realising that staring at the screen up close wouldn’t make you reply to him any sooner. But then again, when would you reply then?

He had sent the text to you that Saturday and he was expecting you to at least say something. An emoji? A mad text? A simple ‘no’ would’ve made him feel less guilty.

He sighs heavily and shakes his phone in frustration.

“Hyung?” A familiar voice said from his studio door.

Junkyu stopped shaking the phone in his hand and turns his chair around to see who it was.

Jeongwoo, who was standing at the doorframe of his studio, gave his hyung a strange look. “Are…you okay? Why did you shake your phone like that?”

Junkyu immediately stood up from his swivel chair and tucks his phone into his jacket’s pocket. “N-nothing. I was just…” he blinked a couple times, trying to think of a way to change the subject. “W-what brings you here?”

Jeongwoo pushed the door open wider and enters himself inside the studio fully now, “I’m taking a break from the online task my teacher gave earlier. I wanted to get something to drink from the cafeteria so I wondered if you wanna tag along,”

“Ahh, right. You had to skip school today because it’s your turn to film a T-log with Mashi, right?”

Jeongwoo nods his head.

“Well, I’m hardly progressing with my song anyways. I guess I could use a break,” Junkyu said as he turns around to grab his wallet from his small yellow treasure merch bag.

“Cool! Then maybe we can get some of those mashed crab sandwiches from the store downstairs too!” Jeongwoo said excitedly, making Junkyu shake his head in amusement at him.

YGE Building (Outside cafeteria)

Both you and Soomin were bringing bags consisting of takeaway-cup drinks in both of your hands and the both of you were somewhat arguing over who should carry less than the other.

“No, unnieeee. Just give me that extra bag! Who’s gonna help me open the door if your hands are full like that??”

“Ugh no way! You should give me your bag! You’re carrying 12 drinks in two hands, that’s ridiculous as it is!” she shot back at you.

You rolled your eyes at her and tried to snatch one of the drink bags from her hand with your fingers but then you ended up losing balance and almost falling down.

“I told you!” Soomin said as you tried to keep your balance in front of her.

“Shut up,” you said to her, your face turning red in embarrassment because of how you almost fell down in front of your leader.

Soomin lets out a small laugh, “You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? Aigoo, just let me help you,”

“Fine,” you sighed. And just as you were struggling to hand over the bag consisting of 4 drinks to your leader, you heard a familiar voice calling out to you.

“Y/n, is that you?”

You lift your head up to see Jeongwoo and Junkyu heading towards your direction.

“Jeongwoo-aa…” you said in an unsure tone. You were distracted with the fact that your heart was suddenly beating fast from seeing Junkyu heading to where you were standing.

Soomin looked at you, wondering why you were suddenly acting all flustered after the younger boy had greeted you.

“Unnie, I think we should hurry,” you blurted out nervously.

“Hm? But I think your friend just called out to you?”

“N-no! It’s okay,” you gave her a small smile. “We need to head back before Bomin wonders why we’re taking so long, no?”

“Uhh, sure,”

And just as soon as Jeongwoo and Junkyu had arrived closely to where you were standing, you hurriedly walk past them and told Jeongwoo that you were in a rush so you couldn’t stay to chat with him.

Soomin followed closely behind you, wondering why you were acting all weirdly the moment you saw those two boys.

Jeongwoo turned around as he watches you pass by him and his hyung, your figure slowly disappearing from his sight.

“Huh…I guess she’s busy,”

Junkyu nods slowly at this. He noticed that you were avoiding to look at him earlier.

“She…was avoiding me,” Junkyu said softly, making Jeongwoo turn to look at him now.

“Hyung…”

Junkyu lets out a small chuckle, although he wasn’t smiling. “I guess it’s over now, isn’t it?”

“No hyung, don’t say that! She’s just busy that’s all. You saw how full her hands were, didn’t you? I bet she was in a hurry for a meeting or something,” Jeongwoo added, trying to assure his hyung that everything was indeed okay.

Junkyu sighs and shakes his head. “Come on, let’s head in,” he said as he steps forward towards the cafeteria entrance.

After bumping into Junkyu and Jeongwoo, you kept walking at a fast pace, forgetting that your leader was still behind you, trying to keep up with your pace.

“Y/n, you might want to slow down. You’re shaking those drinks around too much,” Soomin said, making you slow down as you realised how much the drinks had been shaken and that some have started spilling into the paper bag you were carrying.

“Oh gosh, sorry,” you said as you stopped walking.

Soomin stood beside you and watched as you busied yourself with checking the drinks in your bags.

“Hey, you good, y/n?” she asked.

“Hm, what?” you raised your head to look at her.

“You seem…kind of bothered,”

“What? No, no! I was just—I was just worried if we took too much time being away from the meeting room,” you said, giving her a sorry smile as you lied your way through her.

“Uhuh…” Soomin gave you a thoughtful look for a couple of seconds. “If you say so,” she shrugged in the end, deciding not to ask further since she didn’t want to invade your private life too much.

“Alright then, let’s just head back now.” Soomin added as she starts walking forward again, this time with her being in front of you.

You nod your head and followed behind her.

“Oh and y/n?” Soomin said, her head still staring straight ahead as she walked.

“Yes?”

“I’d like to discuss something with you later. I wanted to ask you this earlier but I almost forgot about it,” she chuckled. “We’ll discuss this when we reach the meeting room, okay?”

“Sure, Soomin-unnie,”

(The next day/Tuesday)

YGE Building – Main Meeting Room

“You WHAT?” Bomin’s voice boomed loudly throughout the empty meeting room.

“Shh, keep it down, will you?” Soomin said in a softer tone compared to him as she looks around, even though it was clearly just the both of them in the room.

Both Bomin and Soomin regularly meet up with each other at an early time before work begins, hence, them both being the only people in the room whilst waiting for the rest of Bomin’s staff’ and Soomin’s Comms Team members to arrive.

“Soomin, as much as I support you in everything you do—you know I always support your decisions, right?”

Soomin nods at this.

“Okay, good. Now listen to me jagi,” he said as he stands closer to her, “I care about you so much. But deciding this on your own is ridiculous,”

Soomin shakes her head. “First of all, I told you—” she paused as she took a step back to distance herself from him. “I told you that we shouldn’t make it too obvious that we’re together, Bomin.”

“And, what makes you think my decision this time is ridiculous?” she asked.

Bomin presses his fingers against the middle of his forehead, hissing in frustration. He lets out a sigh and looks at his girlfriend that was standing right in front of him right now. He loves her, he really does. And he’s always wanted the best for her, of course.

Bomin had always had feelings for Soomin, since they had been close ever since their high school days. But then he held himself back from confessing to her for couple of years because he believed that a wonderful person like Soomin deserves only the best—in which he proved he managed to achieve after he secured his post as one of the head staffs in the YGE Company.

The collaboration between Soomin’s team and his made him believe that it was fate that brought them to work closely together, and for him to finally confess his feelings towards his very own close friend, which led him to today—dating the beautiful and sophisticated Soomin, and being able to call her as his girlfriend finally.

Soomin, who had only recently began dating Bomin, was happy to accept his feelings, working with him has made her feelings for him resurfaced from when they were in school back then. But she was determined to keep things professional at work. She’s that type of person.

But judging from Bomin’s careless behaviour, she could tell that Bomin isn’t trying to keep things between them as professional as she was.

“Well?” Soomin said, pushing for an answer from him since all he did was just stare at her without saying anything for the past minute.

“Tsk. Soomin. You know why I’m against this specific idea of yours,”

“No, I don’t. All I know is that you’re being a judgemental person,” she replied, implying that she does indeed know why Bomin was against her idea this time.

Bomin looks up at the ceiling, taking in the insult his girlfriend just said to him.

“Bomin, look at me,”

Bomin looks back at Soomin’s face, her eyes wider this time as she waited for his answer to her question.

“Look, babe—I mean, Soomin. You know,” he paused. “Ugh, you know I don’t like how you’re giving her special treatment all the time,”

Soomin scoffs at him, bemused. “I’m not giving her special treatment. I believe she has what it takes to do this,”

“She’s only been in your team for what—a month?? One of the company’s shareholders is going to be here today, and you have the nerve to take this stupid risk?”

“Don’t talk to me with that tone,”

Bomin groaned in frustration, seeing that he had somehow ticked Soomin’s mood off as well. He’s probably in for a bad day.

“Look, I already briefed her yesterday. I even sent her the materials for her to rehearse too. She’ll do fine!” Soomin added.

“You don’t get it! The reason I wanted you to be the one handling the presentation is because I want you to be recognised for your hard work! Now look at you, blowing your chance away!”

“That’s not true. You and I both know that half of the paperwork and data gathered for our presentations were gathered and done by y/n.”

“Even so—”

“Even so, I’m not doing it, Bomin. Y/n deserves to present her hard work for my team, and if you’re going to argue further about this…” Soomin looks at the door behind Bomin. “then I have nothing else to talk about with you.” With that, Soomin grabbed her handbag and headed towards the door, exiting the meeting room.

“Damn,” Bomin muttered to himself as he hurriedly left the room to chase after his girlfriend.

You arrived at the meeting room to see some of your team members already in their seats, all making small talk with one another. At the front of the meeting room, you saw Soomin with another one of your team members who was always in charge of fixing technical stuff for your team’s meetings so you assume that he’s probably setting up the slides and all that for today’s meeting.

Of course, you didn’t know the drama your team leader had with her boyfriend earlier today that had indirectly involved you.

Soomin was happily setting up the needed materials for your presentation, her face beaming as she was happy that she had won in the argument with her boyfriend too, enabling her to proceed with her plan of having you present for your company’s team today. As soon as she saw you putting your bag under the table of your seat, she gestured you to approach her.

You nod and made your way towards her and as you were doing so, you realised that Bomin was somehow glaring at you. Which made you shudder. What is with him today?

“Y/n, I’m so glad you made it here early. Sam is putting up your slides and notes on the screen for your reference so you can check on them before we start later on, okay?” Soomin said as soon as you were near her.

You nod at her, understanding what she said.

“Oh, and, have you read up on the materials I attached last night? Sorry for the late info, by the way. I didn’t mean to drop everything on you in all of a sudden,”

“It’s alright. I read up on them last night…though I can’t promise that it’ll be perfect today—” you grinned at her.

Soomin rolled her eyes at you and snickered, “Please—you’ll do great. I have a good feeling about today.”

“I don’t,” you joked.

“Please,” she laughed. “Okay, I think you can swipe through the slides now. Thanks Sam,” she said to him as he bowed and left the both of you alone.

You took over Soomin’s spot in front of the monitor and checked on the slides as you pressed the arrow button on the keyboard.

“Oops, incoming,” Soomin said in all of a sudden, making you stop what you were doing.

“Hm? What is it?”

And instead of Soomin answering you, you heard another voice approaching you.

“Y/n! You look so pretty today!” Chani said happily as he popped out of nowhere. He wasn’t in the room when you first arrived and in all of a sudden, he’s standing in between you and Soomin, a silly grin on his face.

Soomin smirked at the both of you and excused herself, “Well, I should get back to my seat. Good luck for today!” she pats your back before leaving.

“Hm? Good luck for what?” Chani asked as he turns to look at you directly now.

“Soomin-unnie is letting me present the final progress report for this workshop,” you replied, a smile on your face.

“Hmm,”

You stopped scrolling through your slides and turned to him. “What? You think I can’t handle today’s big meeting?”

“Well…I’m not even gonna lie, one of our company’s shareholders is gonna be here today…”

You scowled at him and punched his arm, making him laugh at you.

“I’m just kidding! I mean, I’d be nervous but hey, I think you’ll do fine. Just…don’t smile too much,”

“Hm? Why not? The shareholder doesn’t like it when people smile??” you ask him, dumbfounded.

“No, that’s not it,” he laughed. He leaned close to you to whisper, “I just think you look super pretty today and I’m afraid if you smile too much, he might fall for you like I did,”

You punched his arm another time, making him distance himself from you, “Ow, hey!”

“Cut it out, Chani. Go back to your seat,” you grumbled at him.

“Aww are you blushing? You’re shy, aren’t you? You like it when I tell you you’re pretty,” he teased you.

He wasn’t lying though. You could feel your cheeks heating up from him being so close to you like that. Not that it meant anything to you though. You were just surprised by his daringness today.

Chani has always been caring and affectionate towards you, but him flirting?? That’s new.

You shook your head at him and was about to nag at him about him bothering you too much when your eyes fell upon the people in the room. You noticed that most of them were watching you and Chani.

Have they been watching over the both of you the whole time?

“Look at them, I told you they’re dating,”

“Gasp, really? The nerve. Who does she think she is? With Chani??”

“Eh?? They do look good together…”

Suddenly you could hear them all talking about the both of you.

You were so distracted by everyone else that you didn’t realise Chani was busy looking through your notes and talking to you about what he had for breakfast.

You turn to look at him, his head lowered down as he read your notes on the screen. It seems like Chani was oblivious as to what was going on in the room.

How does he do it? How is he not bothered by what other people are saying? Is he really okay with the rumours everyone was spewing about you two?

“…seem fine. I’m sure you’ll do good today, don’t worry too much,” Chani said as he places his hand on your head, patting it.

You were too busy listening to everyone else’s whispers that you had missed out on what Chani was saying.

You pulled his hand away from your head, and smiled awkwardly at him. “Yeah, sure. Thanks. I uh, I’m gonna look through the slides one more time. You should go back to your seat,”

Chani noticed your sudden stiff expression so he decided to just comply and return to his seat.

And just as he sat down in his chair, still feeling puzzled by your sudden switch of mood, he noticed Bomin eyeing him, a smirk on his face.

Chani frowned at him, annoyed that this man is watching over him as always. He looked away and cursed the man under his breath.

After a good 20 minutes of presenting your company’s findings on the progress of the YG staff your team have mentored and tutored for the past week along with the intended future merges and implications, you swallowed the last bit of air you needed to conclude the presentation and thanked all the people in the room for listening.

“And that is all from us, are there any questions?” you asked, your voice sounding slightly hoarse as you felt it dry up from non-stop talking for the past 20 minutes.

Everyone else in the room shook their heads, to which you felt grateful for since you were sure that the presentation was made clear for everyone to understand fully.

You released a breath of air you didn’t realise you had been holding in when suddenly, the YG shareholder that had attended the meeting today raised his hand.

“Y-yes, sir? You have a question?”

“Hmm…well, frankly I’m not directing this only to you, but to everyone in this room,” he said as he turns to look at everyone in the room.

“This isn’t a question, but just want to say that I think everyone here is satisfied with your team’s plans and efforts as compared to last year. You all simply have improved much,” he continued, a smile on his face.

“Uhh, thank you, sir,” you answered back.

“That was a very insightful presentation too. I liked how your company arranged the new system. I say, a big round for PEWA Groups!” he exclaimed proudly, to which he clapped his hands to, earning everyone else’s applause as well in the room.

You bowed and smiled happily, locking eyes with Soomin who was also grinning as she clapped her hands.

“Thank you so much for the high praise, sir. We couldn’t have done a great job without your great staff here too, so, we’re equally grateful to have such wonderful clients this time around,” you responded to the shareholder.

“Well, if that is all, I believe we can adjourn the meeting?” you asked everyone, excited to end the meeting already.

“Ah, wait. I didn’t quite catch your name. What was it again?” The shareholder asked you.

“Oh, it’s y/n,”

“You did well, y/n,”

“Oh, no, really, I owe it all to my team leader, Soomin-ssi right there,” you pointed towards your surprised team leader.

“Oh gosh, no, no. He was right, you did a great job y/n. You handled the presentation really well,” Soomin complimented you with her bright smile.

You were getting embarrassed so you simply nodded and smiled before shuffling back towards the monitor screen at the front of the room to take down the meeting slides from the screen.

“Alright then, this marks the closing of our workshop with PEWA then?” you heard Bomin’s voice asking the room, to which was responded with loud cheers by everyone.

Mr Ahn, the shareholder, thanked everyone another time and said his goodbye as he hurried out to leave for another one of his own appointments.

You smiled to yourself as you waited for the computer in front of you to shut down. How many days left were you to work here before going back to your own office? A week? A week plus? Oh, right. Your last day here would be next Friday.

When the computer finally shut down, you hurried back to your seat since Bomin was telling everyone to quiet down before he dismisses everyone for their lunch break.

As soon as you sat down, you felt Chani’s hand patting your head and you turned to smile at him briefly before returning your attention back to Bomin who was standing up by now.

“It has been great pleasure to work with you all,” Bomin said as he turns to look at Soomin. The both of them exchanged knowing smiles with one another.

“And of course, again, thank you, y/n, for delivering such a great presentation today!” he looked at you this time. You smiled and nodded at him.

“I mean, sure, I wasn’t expecting it to be this good considering that you’re just a high school graduate,” he added, still smiling at you.

You felt your smile freeze on your face.

Wha…t?

Suddenly, the whole room went quiet.

You licked your lips that was beginning to feel dry by now and your eyes searched the room for your team leader, who had an expression just as shocked as you were.

“Oh? Why is everyone so quiet? Didn’t you all know? Y/n is the only employee in the PEWA’s Comm’s Team who owns just a high school certificate,” Bomin asked, amused with everyone’s reaction.

You felt everyone’s eyes on you.

But how…? The only person who knew about this…was your company’s president—Mr Bae. Then how?

And in a quick second, you heard people’s voices talking all at once.

“What?? So we’re literally being educated by someone who has no skills in this field?”

“Wait, isn’t the Comms Team from PEWA the highest ranked team in their company? What??”

“Yah, are we being conned? We literally let that kid educate us throughout the workshop,”

“Bomin-ssi! How did you let an unqualified person like that have control over our staff??”

You lowered your head, unable to look at the people who have started talking about you.

Chani moved in his seat, unhappy with what was going on in the room.

“O-okay, everyone, quiet down. Meeting is over,” you heard Soomin’s voice say.

Though you could hear no one listening to her. They continued talking to one another, dissatisfaction spewing out of their mouths non-stop.

“Yahh what an embarrassment!”

“Omg and to think she’s been working with us for almost two years. Just how did she get into the company??”

“Soomin-ssi, did you know this? Is that why you favour her over us?? We’ve been working by your side for years and yet you never let us do any of your tasks for you! Yet, you’ve asked her plenty of times!” you heard one of your team members asking Soomin.

Great. Now your own team is turning on you. You grip the sides of your pants, your head feeling heavy from all the loud voices you’re hearing.

“Would everyone, please, just quiet down—” Soomin tried to calm the room but she was interrupted by Bomin’s voice,

“Aigoo. I didn’t know this would bring so much chaos. I’m so sorry, y/n.”

You could hear the smirk from his voice even when you’re not looking at him. This man…just what is he thinking?

The room wasn’t getting any quieter, yet, it seemed like everyone has started asking questions.

“Omo omo, how did you even get the job to be in PEWA?? Did you use a back door??”

“My gosh, imagine if half of the PEWA Group was actually made up of staff that are underqualified,”

“Hey, don’t start spouting nonsense!” you heard Soomin arguing back.

You couldn’t take this. How did this happen? Everything was going so well. How did it all turn so badly in a blink of an eye??

You stood up from your seat, making the loud noise in the room lessen, but then you could still hear some of them whispering to one another.

You lift your head to look at Bomin. “Thank you, for congratulating me on my efforts today.”

“And yes, what Bomin-ssi said was true. But I assure you all, none of the PEWA staff are underqualified.” You swallowed a breath before continuing, “I am the only staff that has…just a high school certificate.”

“Gasp! This is so funny! We literally let someone like her lead the workshop??”

“Tsk, Soomin-ssi, I’m so disappointed in you. I was wondering why a newbie like her was added into our team so suddenly. You must’ve felt sorry for her,”

You felt a pang of hurt in your chest. You didn’t like how Soomin was getting dragged into this. If anything at all, Soomin had been the nicest person to you in your company.

“I…I’m so sorry,” you apologised. You could feel your eyes tearing up. “I’m so sorry,” you bowed at everyone.

“What? No, y/n, no this isn’t your fault,” you heard Soomin say.

You grabbed your bag under the table and backed away from your seat. Your eyes fell upon Chani.

He had a surprised look on his face as well. He shook his head at you, noticing your tight grip on your bag. It seemed like he knew what was on your mind right now.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered before running out of the meeting room.

As soon as the door closed behind you, Chani heard the whole room talking all at once again. He was getting tired of the loud noise.

He got up and marched towards Bomin.

“Yes, intern? Is there something—” Bomin’s word was cut off as he felt Chani’s fist landing against his right cheek, causing him to fall to the floor.

“Get up.” Chani said. “I said, get up!”

Bomin huffed angrily as he got up on his feet. He swung his arm and punched Chani in his stomach.

Chani groaned loudly in pain. “You piece of shi—”

“What? You’re gonna curse? That’s the best you could do??” Bomin taunts him, a smirk on his lips.

Chani grabbed Bomin by his collar and gritted his teeth, “Yah, Bomin! You have really crossed the line this time!”

“Aw? Why? Did you feel bad because you couldn’t stand up for your friend like last time?” Bomin scoffs, “I wonder how she’d react though? Because as I recall, back then, it didn’t work out well with you and your old friend, no?”

“Why you—” Chani was about to punch him again when Soomin stepped in between them to stop them.

“Stop it you two! Everyone is watching!” she whispered loud enough for the both of them to hear.

Chani looked around the room and noticed that what she said was true. Everyone else had stopped talking now and were focused on the little fight going on between him and Bomin.

Chani pushes Bomin roughly aside and glared at him.

Bomin shook his head, his annoying smirk still visible on his face. He fixed his collar as he said, “Tsk. Violence doesn’t always work out, you know,”

“Shut up,”

“Okay that’s it, you both. Enough.” Soomin chimed. “And the rest of yous! Leave the meeting room! Quit staring already!”

Everyone else in the room slowly gathered their stuff, some of them still whispering to each other as they left the room.

All three of them stayed quiet as they watched the rest of the staff leave the room.

And as soon as the last person exited the room, Soomin quickly closed the door and turned back to look at the two men in front of her.

“Have you both no shame?? Fighting like that in front of everyone?? And you, Bomin, why did you have to say that about y/n?!”

Bomin kept quiet, not knowing what to say as he notices how angry his girlfriend was with him.

Chani clicked his tongue. “Pfft. Doesn’t feel nice, does it? Having your girlfriend being mad at you. Maybe you should’ve thought more clearly before creating a mess like this, idiot,”

“Wait—you know?” Soomin asked him.

“What don’t I know?” Chani answered smugly. “Look, I’d love to tell you everything I know about your boyfriend but right now, I can’t stand to be in here.”

Chani approached Bomin again to say, “You may think that you’ve won this again, but I’m telling you, I’m not letting you get away with this. I told you before, not to hurt y/n. You…I’ll deal with you when I get home, hyung.”

With that, Chani shot him a piercing glare before leaving him and Soomin alone in the room.

“…hyung?” Soomin looked at Bomin questioningly.

YGE Building (Treasure’s Practice Room)

“and 5,6,7,8—bam bam bam dda, dda da da da ddum!” Hyunsuk’s voice chanted as he guided his group’s movements according to his beat count.

“Okay, and then after this part here,” Hyunsuk stepped out of his spot in the formation and demonstrated another move to his friends, “After the right leg out part, step out your left leg further front and then we all turn clockwise before we enter the next formation, got it?”

“Okay hyung,” Jihoon answered.

“Okay let’s all try individually for a while, I’ll count,” Hyunsuk said. “ and 5,6,7,8— bam bam bam dda, dda da da da ddum, okay, right leg, left out, turn! Alright, NICE!” Hyunsuk cheered as he notices everyone’s movements sync with his count even when they’re all practicing on their own.

“Woooo yeah!” Mashiho cheered as well, his charming smile beaming. He wipes the sweat on his forehead with the towel he grabbed from his bag and complimented everyone on their hard work.

“Yayyyy! We’re good to go for the first part of this song! Great job everyone!” Jaehyuk said this time.

Hyunsuk showed a thumbs up at everyone. He walked towards the water dispenser and poured himself a cup of water to drink.

Jihoon approached him and pat his back before getting himself a cup of drink as well. “Great job today, hyung,”

“You too, Hoon-aa, good job.”

“Hyung, will we be leaving for lunch later then?” both the leaders heard Yedam ask, making both of them turn around.

“Yeah, sure. Text the kids too, and tell them that we’ll meet them at the cafeteria later on,” Hyunsuk answered, reminding Yedam to inform the maknaes whom were in school to meet them later when they get to the building.

Jihoon left his hyung’s side to approach Junkyu who was sitting on the floor, chatting with Haruto, Yoshi and Asahi.

“…and then before you proceed to the next level, make sure you collect the diamonds from the hidden bags in the rooms—” Haruto explained to Asahi, his fingers moving as he tapped on his phone.

Junkyu and Asahi nods at his explanation, trying to understand what he was showing them.

“What are you kids watching?” Jihoon asks as soon as he sits down beside Junkyu.

“Haruto’s just explaining how this game he’s been obsessed with works,” Junkyu answered, his eyes still plastered on Haruto’s phone screen.

“Tsk, it seems like a lot of work though,” Asahi said, making Yoshi giggle.

“Yahh hyung! Just—just watch how I do it first. It’s easy!” Haruto insisted as he pushed his screen closer to Asahi.

Junkyu turns to Jihoon who was amused by Haruto’s nagging, “No kidding, hyung. This is the second time he’s explained it to me. It’s still confusing to me,” he complained.

Jihoon nods, “Sure Junkyu. Oh right, what are you having for lunch later?”

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll see what choices they have on the menu today I guess,” Junkyu shrugs back at him.

Suddenly, they all heard a loud knock on their practice room’s door.

‘knock knock knock’

“Oh? Someone’s knocking on the door?” Hyunsuk asked.

‘KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK’ the knocking was louder this time.

“My gosh, who would knock like that??” Jihoon asked this time. “Who is it??” Jihoon yelled, asking the person outside the door.

The door opened to reveal a flustered-looking Chani.

“Chani?” Yedam asked, surprised.

Chani enters the room, looking around for something—or someone.

His eyes landed on Junkyu.

“Yah, Kim Junkyu. Where is she?”

Junkyu turns around to look behind him. He turns back to the front to look at Chani who was standing not too far from him. “Me?”

Chani rolls his eyes at Junkyu’s confused expression. “Yes, I’m talking to you obviously. Quit playing dumb. I know the both of you are kinda close to each other so just spill it. Where’s she?”

“Where’s who??” Junkyu asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“Oh my god. Are you really gonna keep it at this??”

“Hey hey, chill it, Chani. That’s your hyung you’re talking to,” Jihoon reminded him.

“I don’t have time for this, hyung! Y/n! Where’s y/n?!” Chani responds rather impatiently.

Everyone in the room exchanged puzzled looks with one another. Is Chani drunk or something? Obviously they all hadn’t met you today—let alone hang out with you after the small dispute Junkyu had with you.

Chani noticed how clueless everyone looked, making his expression soften. “Wait…no way…none of you’ve seen her?”

Everyone shook their heads.

“Agh, this is crazy!” Chani exclaims as he ruffles his own hair. “I’ve been trying to call her but she hadn’t been answering,”

Hyunsuk approaches the frustrated looking man who was standing in the middle of their practice room. “Why? Did y/n not come to work today?”

Chani lets out an exasperated sigh. “Hyung…you gotta help me find y/n. Bomin-hyung…he did it again…”

Hyunsuk’s eyes widened upon hearing this. “Wh-what?”

“He’s trying to drive y/n away from me, hyung! He said something during our meeting that made y/n ran off and now, now—” Chani swallowed his breath before continuing, “I can’t find her anywhere!”

“What…?” Junkyu’s voice said, earning the attention of everyone in the room.

Junkyu was already standing by now, his concern rising as he heard Chani’s story.

“I thought you’d know where she is, hyung!” Chani exclaimed.

Junkyu shook his head at the younger man. “Whatever. Thanks for telling us what happened, Chani,” He immediately walks away from everyone and heads for the door.

“Wait, Junkyu, where are you going??” Jihoon asked him.

“What’s it look like I’m doing?? I’m gonna go look for y/n!”

To be continued…

#ALIY #sandwichrin #treasure #treasure fanfic #TREASURE IMAGINE #ygtreasure #treasurefic #treasure members #all treasure members #alltreasuremembers #treasuremembers #kim junkyu #kimjunkyu #kim junkyu x reader #kimjunkyu x reader #junkyu x reader #junkyu scenarios #junkyu #junkyu fanfic

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failedintsave · 3 years

Text

I tried the MTL pairing generator for rarepair month...aaaand it told me to stay in my lane lol. And then it told me to write some Rachel/Roy Cornickleson which I just don't think I'm ready to take on 🙃 So here's some Skwistok set just before Doomstar that I've been fiddling with.

(gets just a little nsfw near the beginning)

Stages

Everyone handles grief differently.

Skwisgaar groaned as muscular arms pushed him against the wall, the reinforced metal door to his room on the submarine banging shut as they cleared the threshold. Hands tangled in his hair, holding him in place while lips and tongue and teeth worked over his neck. He clung desperately to the body pressed against him, fingers twisting in blue cotton material and yanking it upward. The mouth latched onto his throat pulled away as the t-shirt was hauled over his head and Toki's fevered eyes found his before rushing forward again, mashing their lips together with sloppy abandon. He gripped Skwisgaar by the belt, half dragging him as they stumbled their way to his bunk and collapsed. Breathing came in gasps and sighs as Toki's weight pinned him down into the mattress, the pressure both exhilarating and mollifying, an anchor to hold onto as the life he'd known for so many years turned upside down and twisted away in the wind.

He'd never given much energy to grief. Life was just a punctuated string of losses in the long run. Loss of innocence, loss of trust, loss of opportunities. It was all meaningless, really. In his experience, something new always came along to fill the space so why dwell on mourning what you couldn't have back?

Boots thumped to the floor, kicked off in haste. His shirt was peeled away before sturdy hands lifted his hips to free him of his jeans, calloused fingertips gliding back up his thighs and making him shiver. Toki climbed up to kiss him again, hungrily, as if trying to swallow him whole, their teeth knocking against each other. Skwisgaar ran his hands over every inch of skin he could reach, the hard lines of Toki's shoulders, the raised ridges of overlapping scars on his back, hip bones where they ground down against his own. Heat pooled low in his belly like magma aching to erupt. He wanted this, needed this right now, more than he'd ever needed anything in his life. How long had they danced around this, stealing moments and blaming it later on booze or post-show adrenaline, walking right up to the line and peeking over before backing away again? In the name of preserving band dynamics? A lot of good that had done, they'd still ended up where they are now, Dethklok tipping over the precipice into self-destruction.

Another loss to add to the list.

Toki pulled back, glacier blue eyes raking over Skwisgaar's features with manic light, chestnut locks of hair falling in disarray to frame his face. Skwisgaar reached up and tucked a strand behind his ear and Toki's expression shifted, the wild yearning softened into something gentler, less wolfish. He sat up to kneel between Skwisgaar's legs, hand skimming from his collar bone to his navel and leaving a trail of fire, over the inside of his thigh and dipping beneath, pausing until Skwisgaar breathed his assent, whispered his name.

Fingers tested gingerly, gradually increasing in depth and pressure before he gripped him by the waist and hauled him onto his lap. Skwisgaar canted his hips, lip catching between his teeth at the feel of Toki against him, his pulse hammering in his ears. His head angled back into the pillows and a wordless moan escaped his throat when Toki eased forward, back arching as lightning raced up his spine. Skwisgaar's fingers knotted in the bed sheets as Toki released a shuddering breath over him, rocking into him slowly, building rhythm into a steady push and pull.

Loss of professional boundaries. Definitely not something to be mourned.

The devastating sensation of fullness where they joined drove all coherent thought from Skwisgaar's mind and his eyes rolled back under closed lids, panting nonsense and expletives, begging for release. His toes curled as Toki matched stokes with his hand to the tempo of his thrusts, coaxing him through his climax until tipping over the edge after him with a whining sigh. Call and response, Skwisgaar thought dazedly as his superheated skeleton melted into jelly. When he could open his eyes again, his gaze landed on Toki's face above him, watching him with an openly heartsick expression.

"I… hads to do dat… at least once before dis ams all over." The broken whisper settled over him like a burial shroud.

Skwisgaar shook his head, holding out his arms. "Come heres."

Swallowing thickly, Toki obeyed, winding his arms under Skwisgaar's shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Skwisgaar shifted to find a comfortable position, their sweat-slick chests sliding against each other as he angled slightly onto one side, hand cradling Toki's skull to keep him near.

"Seem pretties stupids we aments been doing dat dis whole time, honestlies."

Loss of time.

Toki held him tightly and Skwisgaar felt the tremor in his grip. He rubbed his cheek against the crown of the other man's head, humming tunelessly as he waited for him to speak, knowing already the fears plaguing his mind. He'd faced them often enough in his younger days, even if the scenario now was more complicated. It was hard to compare wondering where your next gig, your next meal ticket, might come from to wondering where to go after you'd already stood at the top.

Sniffling preceded the feeling of wetness against his shoulder, Toki mumbling against his skin. "What happens now? Ams we all just gonna says 'fucks you, see ya laters' now dat de band ams done? Even now dat dey tells us we gots to plays music to saves de world?"

Skwisgaar fiddled with a strand of brown hair for a moment before answering. "Well, I don'ts know abouts all dis saves-de-woirld business. But whats I do know ams band break ups. And, euughh, ja dat ams a pretty standords opseratings procedures."

"But does it has to be likes dat? We coulds all stays pals, right?"

"Dat ams...compslickateds." He dropped the lock and let his hand fall to Toki's shoulders. "Somet'ing like dis...people tends to ezpecks yous to euughh, picks sides. It ams messy. And it never warks out, t'ings always comes apart in de end."

Loss of the longest working relationships he'd had in his life.

Toki said nothing, so Skwisgaar continued if only to fill the silence. "But it coulds be worse, you knows? We gots more moneys den god, what's so bad what cants be fixed wif dat?" The statement produced a cold feeling trickling down behind his ribs, like swallowing a heaping spoonful of snow. "Nones of it acktualies matters. Just goes on to da next t'ings."

"I just... don'ts know what to does if dere aments a Dethklok."

"Whatevors you wants! You coulds buy de whole stores of airplane models, or you coulds builds you own splasharoonies water parks. Hell you coulds probablies starts a new bands wif dose guys from dat T'underhorse group."

"No," Toki murmured, face still compressed against Skwisgaar's neck. "I don't wants a new band. Dis was da one."

The possessive satisfaction he felt at those words tied his stomach in guilty knots.

"Ja it ams was a pretty good gigs…"

Toki shifted, laying his head on the pillow next to Skwisgaar's, his forlorn gaze searching his face for answers. Skwisgaar rolled so they were laying face to face, legs still twisted under the sheets.

Not everything was tied up in the feud that caused the band to split. What if it didn't have to be a total loss? Surely there were parts here that could be salvaged.

"Okej...so who says we haves to do anyt'ings at all?"

Toki's brows cinched. "What you means?"

Maybe, just this one thing, he could keep.

Skwisgaar's lips curved with the ghost of a smile. "I's already mades it to de top, ams de fastest guitarist alives...coulds be I shoulds just quits while I gots de title, ja? Retires, takes my ball and goes home wif it."

Toki snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Builds mineself a giant house up in de mountains or somet'ing. Or travels and just fucks off on de resgiduals forever, not worries about a deadlines or demos ever again. Plays guitar just for funs."

He saw his grin mirrored on Toki's face as the other man nodded dreamily.

"Maybe you...comes wif me?" Fluttery nerves tickled behind his sternum. "If you wants to."

Toki's eyes widened. "Wait. Whats?"

Just this. He could be happy with this.

"Y-you means it? You aments just messings with Toki?"

He shook his head. "How long dids we waste before nows? For not'ing. I'm sick ofs waitings. Let's just goes."

A heartbeat passed, and then Toki's mouth was on his again. Less frantic this time, hopeful rather than desperate. He cradled Toki's jaw, taking his time as he returned his affections, deepening the kiss and tracing languid strokes over his neck, his shoulders, his chest. Their limbs wound together in a twisted bramble, bodies drawing tightly together, fitting like puzzle pieces.

A repetitive, discordant riff sounded from the pile of clothes abandoned on the floor and Toki's head jerked away. Flashing an apologetic grin, he rolled away to fish his phone from his pocket, sliding his pants up loosely around his hips.

"Sorries, be rights back!" He whispered, pressing the screen to answer. "Oh hei, Rockso!*

"Hows do you even has signals down here?" Skwisgaar called after him as he stepped into the hall, then flopped back onto the pillows to stare at the ceiling, counting the shiny rivets in the metal plating.

This was doable. Tomorrow they would bury more than just a mentor, they would lay to rest their careers as the biggest metal band in existence. The world at large would mourn their passing, but Skwisgaar wouldn't dwell on what's done and over. Not if he had new prospects to look forward to. Something always came along, and he never looked back.

"I tolds Magnus dat I woulds sit wif hims tomorrow." He heard Toki's muffled voice through the crack he'd left in the door.

A shadow passed over his thoughts at the name, like someone walking across his grave. It was uncomfortable to say the least, to have their former guitarist back in the fringes of their lives. Toki had a habit of finding friendship in questionable places, but where the clown was mostly an annoyance and sometimes a financial drain, his relationship with Magnus left Skwisgaar apprehensive. It didn't ease his mind when Toki insisted the older musician was different now. How could he know? He hadn't lived with the man, hadn't walked on eggshells during every rehearsal or songwriting session, hadn't watched as he plunged a knife into a bandmate.

But Magnus had also saved Toki with his insulin. He'd been there for Toki as a shoulder to lean on when the band had started to fall apart, too preoccupied with their own issues to spare a minute for their youngest member.

So maybe Toki was right. Things change; he'd never expected that a wedge could be driven between Nathan and Pickles far enough to end their friendship in such a catastrophic way, but here they were. And if Magnus still harbored any resentment for the band, their breakup was probably a balm to the old wound of rejection. What else could he wish on them? He was probably loving this.

The door scraped shut and Toki slipped back into the blankets gingerly, as if expecting Skwisgaar to be asleep. When he saw that he was still awake, Toki leaned in with a grin.

"Sorries...now, where was we…?" He murmured, capturing Skwisgaar's lips tenderly. "Oh ja, you was tellings me how we's gonna runs away togedders into de sunsets."

"Pfff. Dat am hardlies what I saids."

More kisses peppered his cheek and jaw. "Dats what I heards."

"Well I always knew yous was tone deafs, I didn'ts realize you ams just all de way hards of hearingks." His arm encircled Toki's back as the brunette nestled in again.

"Tells to me about wheres we gonna goes. Tells me about our house on tops of de mountains."

Skwisgaar snorted. Of the two of them, his was not the more vivid and fanciful imagination. But staring up at the blank canvas that the brushed metal panels of ceiling created, he envisioned a future for them to share. They squabbled playfully over locations and home design styles. They named off outlandish things they would fill their home with, like an even bigger ruby metronome or a trampoline room or an indoor pool shaped like a guitar and filled with champagne. They listed places they'd toured that they wanted to visit again, and locations they hadn't been yet but had always hoped to see.

"Can we gets a cat?" Toki asked suddenly, making Skwisgaar laugh airily.

"If we haves to?" He laughed again as Toki nodded against him. "But I'm not cleaningks up after it, dat ams all you, pal."

"Okei." Toki sighed deeply, settling in more comfortably. "Okei. I feels a lots less scareds now about all dis."

His hand glided up from where it had been resting at Skwisgaar's hip to lay warm over his heartbeat.

"I'll miss Dethklok. A whole lots. But now I t'inks I ams acktualies looking forwards to what comes next."

Still staring at the steel plates above, Skwisgaar grinned at the pictures they'd painted in his mind.

"Ja, me toos."

He covered Toki's hand with his own. However much they stood to lose after tomorrow, his heart felt lighter at what they were about to gain together. There was no reason to dwell on what was gone.

Everyone handles grief differently.

Laying on his bunk, Skwisgaar's eyes roamed the scuffed plate ceiling overhead, lingering on rusted rivets and water stains. The imperfections seemed to move and writhe like crawling insects under the influence of whatever handful of pills Pickles had given him. A half-drained bottle of vodka lay cradled against his chest, the mouth stoppered by his thumb. Fire burned in his belly from the alcohol, but cold fury pulsing through his veins tempered it.

He'd been prepared for Dethklok to end, had even accepted the idea that his career as a guitarist was over, diminished to a hobby. Playing guitar was his lifeblood, his purpose, and he'd been about to let that go. What had he been thinking? How had he gotten so wrapped up in fantasy that throwing away his entire self had seemed like a plausible course of action.

Loss of objectivity. Fortunately it seemed to be temporary.

He took a long pull from the bottle, dribbling a little and not bothering to wipe it away. Stupid Toki, needing to be comforted like a child with make-believe bedtime stories. He couldn't just man up and move on like everyone else, like Skwisgaar had been doing since he was a teen, finding his next audition, his next couch to crash on, his next temporary alliance with subpar musicians to make ends meet. It couldn't have been an easier landing for him either, no concerns about hunger or homelessness or deportation hanging over his head. He was set up for success and still couldn't handle it.

Fucking idiot needed so much attention, so much coddling, he'd even run straight into harm's way to try and make a friend. Of all people, he'd had to choose Magnus, that vindictive bastard. Of course he'd still been carrying a grudge, when had he ever let anything go in the past? And they'd known it.

A pair of divots on the ceiling stared back at him, one dark, one catching the light. Glaring back at him mockingly, winking at his impotent rage.

They'd known. They'd known, they knew, they knew.

Skwisgaar knew. And he'd said nothing.

Then he'd watched again, frozen, as Magnus drove a knife into someone close to him.

Skwisgaar thrashed upright, a strangled roar bursting from his lungs as he flung the bottle at the wall. He kicked at the bedside table bolted to the wall, denting it from below, then spun around to tear the sheets from his bunk and hurl them across the room. This wasn't the trade he'd prepared for, this wasn't the deal he'd made with himself.

His eyes fell on his Explorer propped in the corner. He reached for it, wrapping both hands around the ebony fretboard, holding it like an axe and swinging it against the wall. He bashed it into the floor, the dresser, screaming until his throat was raw and the guitar was cracked into useless chunks of wood and fiberglass connected by twisted strings. He dropped the pieces in a heap, sinking to the ground to lean against the side of his bed, his shoulders heaving with labored panting.

The door of his room scraped open, and in his periphery he saw a figure standing, backlit by the dim red glow in the corridor. Broad-shouldered, straight hair dangling about their head. His heart seized for a moment before the figure spoke, shattering his hallucination.

"What are you doing in here?" Nathan's gravelly voice was cautious.

Skwisgaar didn't turn, eyes still focused on the debris ahead of him. The stainless steel guitar strings seemed to wriggle like worms in grave soil, consuming the corpse of his instrument. He waited until he caught his breath before trying to respond.

"What does it looks like I'm doingks?"

Nathan shifted in the doorway. "Losing your mind."

He chuckled mirthlessly.

Loss of sanity? Maybe.

"You've been locked up in there a while. Maybe you should, you know. Come out here. With the rest of the band."

"Fucks off."

Nathan didn't move. Skwisgaar felt the urge to rage at the other man rise in him, to shout in his face, demand to know why it had taken him so long to patch things over with Pickles, why he let it go so far that he'd upset all of their lives so horrifically. But the feeling passed, his body drained from his previous outburst and from trying to filter a pharmacy's worth of substances through his liver.

"We're gonna find him, you know. Charles has people everywhere looking already."

One shoulder rose and fell in a halfhearted shrug. "Whatevers. Who cares."

They could have been a four-piece. If he really wanted to rage at someone it would be his past self. How different would things be right now if he'd never given that gutter rat a chance after missing his audition time? How much of what they achieved would they have really missed out on? How many rerecording sessions and stupid arguments and publicized blow outs could have been avoided? What would they really have been missing?

He certainly wouldn't mourn the loss of a constant source of annoyance. Of an immature tag-along with a hair trigger temper. Of a loud and boisterous whirlwind of silliness and color and sincerity.

Loss of his shadow. Loss of his muse. Loss of his best friend. Loss of his future. Loss of…

Loss of…

He couldn't breathe.

"Just leaves me alone. Please." He gritted out, proud of the steadiness of his voice as his stomach began to roil and his eyes prickled with tears.

Nathan hesitated. "Should I...close this?"

Skwisgaar nodded and after another moment the steel frame clanged shut. His vision blurred as tears welled and spilled over, his breath returning in short gasping puffs which rolled over into sobs that rattled his frame.

They'd had one day. Not even a day. An evening. Hours.

He wept until he was sick, vomiting clear liquor and not much else onto the floor next to the remnants of his guitar. He wept until his tears were spent and his head throbbed in tandem with his heart, even though he didn't understand how the muscle still carried a beat when the rhythm had been taken away.

Eventually he had nothing left. His face felt swollen, his eyes were gritty. Skwisgaar rolled to his hands and knees, avoiding the puddle of sick as he rocked up onto wobbly legs. He looked at the door, wondering if the others were still awake. If they were sitting in the lounge, drowning their sorrows. He felt like he wore a lead weight around his neck, bowing under the pull of it. It might be better just to sleep.

He turned to the naked mattress, but a scrap of blue on the floor near the foot of the bed caught his attention. A faded cotton t-shirt lay where it had been discarded. Skwisgaar stared at it for several long moments. He stepped closer to the bed, to the shirt.

And kicked it underneath the frame and out of sight before turning for the door.

He'd never given much energy to grief. Life was just a punctuated string of losses in the long run. Loss of purpose. Loss of self. Loss of connection. Loss of…

It was all meaningless, really. So why dwell on mourning what you couldn't have back?

#skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #skwistok #dethklok #metalocalypse

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

Text

Happy Resurrection Day

A short fic in celebration of Dean and Cas’s 12th anniversary!

Rated: T Words: 3652

Summary: The world didn't end, and Dean and Cas finally get to choose each other. It only took twelve years and a little road trip back to where it all started.

Read it here on AO3

One random morning in mid-September, a few months after the world was left in their hands once and for all, Dean woke up to the nagging feeling he was forgetting something. There wasn’t really much to forget anymore. There was no looming apocalypse, no new catastrophe on the horizon. The biggest dilemma he’d faced in the last few days was whether he had enough milk to make pancakes, or whether he’d have to run out to the store before breakfast.

Sure, he and Cas took the occasional salt and burn. Easy hunts they could usually dust in a day. Sam had taken an extended road trip to see the country and try to figure out what he wanted to do with himself now that he was truly free to explore what life after Chuck could look like, but Dean already knew. He’d known for a good long time that he loved his life, loved the bunker, and loved hunting. And for whatever reason, Cas had just decided to stay, no strings attached. Whether Dean was itching to get out on the road for a long weekend on the slimmest excuse of a hunt that just as often as not turned into a detour to some tourist trap or other, or whether Dean just wanted to sit at home bingeing an old tv series or having a movie marathon, Cas seemed equally content with the slate of activities Dean conjured up for them.

He hadn’t put it into so many words, and he definitely hadn’t said it to Cas, but Dean also loved that Cas had stayed with him.

So it was strange waking up with an unsettled swirling in the pit of his stomach. He held a hand up to his forehead, checked his eyes and throat in the mirror to make sure he wasn’t coming down with something. He didn’t want to get Cas sick, if he was. He’d already survived Cas’s first cold as a human, just barely. They went through so much soup in a week, Dean was starting to wonder if Cas was just milking it for the room service. He had to admit that Cas letting him walk him through the highlights of Dr. Sexy while he was curled up in a blanket nest by his side wasn’t the worst thing he’d had to endure. But for now, Dean wasn’t sick. He just had a restlessness in his bones and no idea how to cure it.

He pulled on his robe and ambled out to the kitchen. Coffee would help him figure out what was eating at him, surely. Only Cas had beat him to it, which was unusual enough to amp up that uneasy feeling. Dean usually beat Cas to the kitchen most mornings, so walking in to a full pot of coffee and no other sign of Cas had him wondering if something was wrong. He poured himself a cup and set off in search of Cas, and whatever he was up to so early in the morning.

He found Cas sitting at the table in the library scrolling around on the internet. Dean just stood in the doorway and watched him for a moment, studying his posture as if it might give him some clue what sort of mood Cas was in. Human or not, Cas still had the intense focus he’d always had as an angel, and aside from pausing to take a sip of his coffee or navigate to the next page, he barely moved from his position hunched over the keyboard. Rather than startle him, Dean waited until Cas put his mug down before clearing his throat to announce his presence.

“Mornin’ sunshine. You’re up early.”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas said, giving him a guilty glance before going back to his work. “Yes, I had been hoping to surprise you later, but I apparently didn’t wake up early enough for that. I hope you slept okay.”

Dean shrugged as he walked around the table and sat down across from Cas. He took a sip of his coffee before replying.

“Mostly. Woke up feeling restless, and I couldn’t figure out why.”

Cas nodded at him as if he understood exactly what Dean meant. “I did, as well. And then I checked the calendar. I assume you know what today is?”

Dean’s brow furrowed as he performed a few calculations. Days all sort of blended together after a while, but they’d made a trip up to Henderson for supplies on Wednesday, and that was only a couple days before.

“Friday?” Dean eventually replied, hoping he was right.

Cas laughed, but shook his head. “It is Friday, but it’s also September 18th.”

Dean blinked at him for a moment as he mentally rocketed back to a run down old gas station where the windows shattered the first time Cas had ever tried to introduce himself. He’d just clawed his way out of his own grave, and the local newspaper had helpfully supplied him the date, and the knowledge that he’d been in hell all of four months. No wonder he’d woken up feeling weird. He might’ve forgotten the date, but somewhere deep down, some part of him would always know it.

Dean came back to himself to find Cas waiting patiently for him, like he always did. He took another sip of his coffee and set the mug down, recalling what Cas had said before sending him off down disturbing memory lane. Better to focus on the present than linger in that particular bit of the past.

“So you were planning a surprise?”

Cas shrugged. “I thought maybe we should do something to celebrate. People celebrate these sorts of milestones, yes?”

Dean wobbled his head side to side and made a face. “Pretty sure Hallmark dosn’t make a card for this one.”

Cas frowned, reaching up to shut the laptop as if he’d made some terrible faux pas, but Dean quickly dropped his hand atop Cas’s to stop him.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate it anyway,” he said more quietly, smiling at Cas. “It was a pretty noteworthy occasion, you pulling me outta hell. What did you have in mind?”

Cas’s frown deepened. “That’s where I’ve been stuck all morning. It felt inappropriate to suggest going to visit your gravesite, and taking you out to dinner seems… trite, in light of the occasion.”

“You know me, Cas. I’m always up for food,” Dean replied, trying to lighten the mood. “Plus it wasn’t just about me being un-dead, you know. It’s the whole reason we met in the first place. And look how that turned out.”

Cas had finally begun to smile again, and turned his attention back to the computer. “We didn’t actually meet face to face until late the next night when you summoned me. There was a bit of a delay due to unforeseen circumstances.”

Dean thought about that for a minute, nodding as he remembered the events of his first few days back on earth. “Well, if you wanna do it right, we could always take a road trip back to that old barn, see if it’s still standing.”

“Have you been back there since then?” Cas asked, curious now.

Dean shook his head. “Driven by it a few times over the years, but never went back inside. The whole farm’s completely overgrown. I figured someone would’ve gotten freaked out by all the weird symbols and burned the place down by now. It was still standing as of a couple years ago.” That got Dean curious. “Have you been back?”

“It’s been a while,” Cas said quietly. “I used to fly there sometimes, when I still could. It was a quiet place to think.”

Dean nodded slowly. “Then that’s what we should do. We’re taking a road trip. I know at least three great diners between here and there I haven’t taken you to yet. We can make a whole weekend out of it.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Cas replied, finally shutting the computer.

“Good. Breakfast first, then we’ll head out. Have ourselves a little resurrection day road trip.”

Dean grabbed his mug and stood up. He’d need to get dressed and pack a bag. They could have a quick breakfast if they were gonna be stopping at Dana’s Diner for lunch. It was a bit of a detour, but the burgers were worth it. He flashed a grin at Cas.

“I’m gonna pack a bag and grab some cereal before we hit the road. Meet you in the kitchen in 20?”

Cas nodded and shut the laptop. As Dean made his way out to the hall, he heard Cas mutter quietly, “Happy Resurrection Day,” as if he was testing out the sentiment. He bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

The drive to Illinois took most of the day. It could’ve been a lot quicker, but in addition to Dana’s, they hit a steakhouse on the outskirts of Chicago for dinner before swinging back south toward their destination. Dean bypassed the Astoria Motel where a mirrored ceiling shattered by Cas’s angelic voice had once nearly killed him. He pointed it out as part of their trip down memory lane, but pulled up at a different motel clear across town with the excuse that it would be a shorter drive back to the barn in the morning. Their room was a lot less shabby, and a lot less pay-by-the-hour feeling than the Astoria, so Dean felt it was a win all around.

As they settled in for the night like they had every night they’d been on the road together, Dean let himself really feel the usual longing the three foot chasm between their beds brought out in him. Most nights he’d just roll over and pretend to fall asleep while mashing that feeling down as hard as he could. Tonight, though, he lay in bed staring across that gap, wishing he could make some excuse to crawl into the other bed. Of all nights, and in this particular place, he really just wanted someone to hug until dawn.

The specific someone being Cas.

In the dark, in the quiet listening to Cas’s breathing even out as he drifted off, for one moment Dean allowed himself to admit that he didn’t just love that Cas had stayed with him. He loved Cas. Full stop. Dean lay there until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, holding on to that feeling and knowing he’d have to crush it back down in the morning.

He dreamt of what could’ve happened in that barn, if he hadn’t stabbed Cas that first time they’d met. With twelve years of history between them now, and Dean’s quiet revelation that he was in love with Cas, his dream-self went through a series of alternate endings to that meeting ranging from love confessions to things that he would definitely not be enumerating to Cas over breakfast the next morning. It made for an excellent night’s slumber.

Morning came without the restlessness the previous day had. Dean opened his eyes to the dawn light seeping between the curtains to shine a golden spotlight on Cas’s face, which was smiling back at him.

“Hello, Dean. I take it you slept better last night?”

Dean yawned, but didn’t quite feel like getting up yet. He wanted to enjoy this surreal moment for just a bit longer. Instead he stretched out under the blankets and propped himself up on his pillow to get a better look at Cas.

“Yeah, you?”

Cas propped himself up on his elbow, no longer in the little beam of light, and blinked at him. “I’m reserving judgment until after we have coffee, but yes. It seems to have been satisfactory.” Cas frowned for a second, and Dean was about to ask what was wrong, when Cas asked, puzzled, “If yesterday was Resurrection Day, what does that make today?”

Dean must’ve still been a bit loopy from his late night thoughts, the restful sleep, and what he could recall of the dream he’d been having. He never would’ve blurted it out around a yawn otherwise, but that’s exactly what he did.

“It’s countdown to Cas day.”

He froze for a second after the words had escaped into the wild, and then slowly turned to take in the fond look on Cas’s face.

“I’m already here, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, you weren’t twelve years ago. I didn’t even know your name yet.”

“You do now,” Cas replied. “How should we celebrate it? Since I sincerely hope you weren’t dead set on a complete reenactment. I don’t have the power to rattle the roof or blow open the doors anymore.”

Dean grinned at that and sat up. “Yeah, I don’t really wanna shoot you, either.”

“I appreciate that,” Cas replied, sitting up on the edge of his own bed opposite Dean. He looked right into Dean’s eyes, as if attempting to convey some deeper meaning to his words, and spoke quietly. “I’m glad you finally believe in me.”

They sat there for a long moment before Dean finally nodded. “‘Course I believe in you, Cas.”

They took turns in the shower and packed up their bags. After a quick breakfast on the way to the farm, they drove down the overgrown dirt road that led to the barn. Dean had to leave the car a good way back down the road, and they hiked through the knee-high scrub to the broken old barn door. Dean picked up a shattered timber and tossed it out of the way as he pushed his way inside.

“Man, this place is a lot less intimidating looking in broad daylight,” he said, as the two of them stood in the doorway and took in the faded symbols Bobby had painted on every surface of the interior. Broken glass still littered the floor, now covered with a heavy layer of dust.

“It looks different now, somehow,” Cas added. “Smaller. Which is strange considering I was so much larger the first time I was here.”

Dean turned to him and smiled. “Yeah, but now you’re seeing it human. It’s gotta be weird.”

Cas shrugged, and walked around the perimeter of the barn, examining the sigils out of old habit. “This has always been a quiet place for me,” he said, touching a warding sigil with his fingertips before continuing on. “Nothing unholy could find me here. I could be alone with my thoughts.”

Dean noticed a few of the sigils Cas stopped by, and didn’t recognize them. A collection of carefully drawn wards drawn much smaller and in a different shade of paint that stood out from all the rest he’d watched Bobby create twelve years ago.

“Did you add those?” he asked.

Cas nodded. “Angel proofing. Or at least, concealing.”

Dean thought back to all the times Cas had been running or hiding from Heaven and the rest of the angels. When he’d been human and had nowhere to go, and instead of coming here he’d run in the opposite direction, because Dean had kicked him out. A bolt of guilt shot through him and nailed his feet to the floor. This was a place Dean hadn’t come back to because it reminded him that he’d been to Hell, reminded him that Heaven had wanted him for their own for reasons that frankly horrified him now. But for Cas, this was the place Dean had first met him, a place that for him would forever be about the moment he was truly introduced to humanity. It had been kind of a shit introduction, if Dean was honest with himself. But twelve years later, after all the shit had played itself out, Cas had finally made his own choice about his life, and he’d come back to where it all began.

“Happy resurrection day,” Dean said as he stared at Cas from across the room.

Cas turned to him, the look of surprise on his face quickly turning to a smile. “It is a bit like a resurrection, isn’t it? We’ve come all the way back around to where it started, and we’re free of it all now.”

Dean just nodded dumbly, letting the enormity of it sink in as Cas walked over to stand in front of him.

“I don’t have wings or the power of Heaven at my back, but I do recall something I said to you that night. Good things do happen, Dean. And they have.”

“And here we are again,” Dean said, clearing his throat. Both of their lives had changed that night, and they’d spent so much of their time fighting against everything in the universe since then. The one constant had always been each other, even when they’d totally fucked it all up and broken the natural order and sacrificed themselves to fix it all again, they’d done it to save each other. At the end of the road, and the beginning of their journey, Dean couldn’t keep his feelings bottled up any longer. “I love you, you know.”

Cas sucked in a shocked breath of air and blinked at him for a moment, before a grin broke across his face, lighting up the gloomy, dusty haze in the barn. “I love you too, Dean. I’m so glad I’m here with you.”

Dean shook his head, finally prying his feet free to shuffle closer to Cas. He reached out a hand to rest it on Cas’s shoulder, right at the base of his neck. “No, I mean, I love you. I think I always have, and I know I always will, but I only really just figured it out. I’m in love with you and you’ve put me back together in ways you can’t even imagine. You might’ve resurrected me and healed me more times than I can count, but you helped make me a whole person, Cas. And I love you.”

Dean felt the prickling of tears behind his eyes and struggled to hold them back. Like he always did, Cas stared into him, right through him, and lifted a hand to Dean’s cheek.

“I’d hoped it was obvious when I chose humanity, when I chose to stay with you, that I felt the same way for you, Dean. I didn’t have any idea how much knowing you would change me, how much you would teach me about humanity and what makes life worth living when I first walked through those doors. One thing I did know, though, was that I already loved you. I had no idea what that even meant yet, but I would learn.”

A slightly manic laugh escaped Dean’s lips at the euphoria of hearing Cas’s words, seeing the heartbreaking honesty in his face, and wondering how long it was polite to wait before kissing him. Cas gave him a relieved smile, as if he’d been holding it all in far too long, and Dean let out a sigh as he pulled Cas to him.

“Love at first stab, huh?” Dean asked, smiling right into Cas’s face.

“Don’t belittle it, Dean. I loved you even before then. The moment I laid a hand on you in Hell. Healing your soul and reuniting it with your body, resting you gently in your grave and waiting for you to emerge again.”

“You do know how fucked up that was, right? You couldn’t have just dug me out?”

Cas’s brow furrowed. “It was Heaven’s orders. I never thought to question them. But yes, it has bothered me many times over the years.”

“Yeah, well, it’s bothered me more than once that I tried to thank you for saving me from Hell by stabbing you in the heart.”

“It worked, though,” Cas replied, one eyebrow raised. “I’m still here with you.”

“Better than cupid’s arrow,” Dean muttered, and then grimaced at his own terrible reference. It amused Cas, though. “Okay, enough awful jokes. Are you gonna kiss me already?”

Cas made a considering face, as if he hadn’t already made up his mind. “Happy resurrection day to both of us, then. I suppose we know exactly how to celebrate it now.”

Dean took that as the invitation it was, and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met tentatively at first, and then more confidently as they clung to one another in the gloom. The exploding lights were all internal this time, but no less spectacular. Dean shuffled his feet and heard the crunching of broken glass, and reluctantly pulled back from Cas.

“We should probably find someplace less dangerous if we’re gonna keep going…”

Cas nodded his regretful agreement. With one last look around the old barn, they pulled the doors shut.

“We can come back next year, if you want,” Dean said, taking Cas’s hand and leading him back to the car. “Make it an annual thing.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Cas replied. “The annual resurrection road trip.”

“Next year we bring a broom,” Dean added, leading Cas through the weeds. “Maybe a picnic.”

Cas laughed, letting his hand go when they reached the car.

“So what do you wanna do next?” Dean asked as he climbed back behind the wheel. “We still technically got the rest of the day to celebrate.”

“You mentioned several diners you wanted to introduce me to, and it’s nearly time for lunch,” Cas replied.

Dean thought over their options, then leaned across the front seat to plant a kiss on the corner of Cas’s mouth, just because he could. The look of surprised delight on Cas’s face was more than worth it. “How much of a detour are you up for?”

Cas gave him a look of mock pity. “Dean, I’ll go anywhere with you. No detour is too long if I have you to share the journey with.”

Dean gave him a proper kiss, with a promise of more for later. “Then let’s get this show on the road.”

#things i have written #spn fanfic #destiel #the deancasversary #CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE NITWITS HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER TWELVE YEARS?!

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rfadaydreaming · 4 years

Note

GRRR zen smut hcs pls 🥵 lemme know EVERYTHING

nsfw zen headcanons

ask and you shall recieve! uhh this is kind of long. can you tell i’ve been sitting on these for awhile... oops. nsfw under the cut ↓

zen has a bit of an obsession of taking nudes. if you thought his selfie addiction was bad, just you wait. he has a lot of them hidden away in his camera roll. in a locked folder, of course. hopefully seven never hacks in to take a peek, theres a lot going on in there.

be prepared for him sending a lot of suggestive photos when he enters a relationship with you. they’re not always explicit, he likes to tease you. especially if you’re out in public. dickprint in grey sweatpants kinda thing sometimes, lifting up his shirt to show off his v line and obviously straining jeans. a lot of suggestive pics with innuendos.

example

“post workout. wanna shower with me when i get home jagiya? ;)”

he has the best lighting and angles whenever he sends them, wont just grab it and whip it out with the flash on. no. he’s classy. makes them look like absolute art and leaves you wanting more. videos too, these are always explicit. he’ll send videos of him moaning your name while he finishes himself off. this is dangerous just because it has his voice in it, it could be tied back to him indefinitely. so he really trusts you here.

ever the flirt, even in public. his flirting can turn into something further if you let it. if you two are at dinner a wandering hand may start to find its way up your leg, has pulled you aside at rfa parties for some 7 minutes in heaven kind of fun. this man has no shame.

into the thrill of semi public sex. he’s impatient when it comes to you, especially when he sees you in certain outfits or you do a little mannerism that just drives him nuts. while the excitement and buzz is still lingering after a show finishes, he just cant help himself. never too public– he’s not trying to ruin his career– but bathrooms, closets, maybe even cars in the parking lot if he really can’t wait. quickies before he goes on stage carries such a certain thrill to it. especially if his co-stars are looking for him. having to stay silent and hoping they don’t knock or open the door. if someone walks by he’ll try his best to make you whine or moan. drives you nuts.

doesn’t indulge in this too often just because of how detrimental it could be to his career if you both are actually caught. but the thrill is like no other.

he’s not into super into heavy kinks, like bdsm and such. you can get him to degrade you as long as you assure him it doesn’t hurt your feelings, its a turn on. if your WAP doesn’t already convince him enough but is always sure to let you know he doesn’t actually mean it and spoils you with love during aftercare.

dirty talker. filthy talker. has no restraint.

when he dirty talks its still always laced with the same old honeyed tone you’re used to. his voice drops deeper and is downright erotic. can makes your knees weak from lewd words alone. lets his mouth run especially when you blow him, ever so chatty when he’s the one being spoiled.

“a pretty little angel choking on a pretty big cock. oh how it suits you, don’t you think so jagiya? not such an angel anymore.”

he’ll grab your chin and bring your eyes further up towards the phone camera while he speaks, taking a picture then showing it back to you while you’re still busy between his legs. agree with him when he asks you something like that. he likes it.

spanking is the most he’ll go physically, a bit of degradation, tugs and pulls here and there that sting in the best way—especially directed towards your chest. he can be rough at times, but never wants to outright hurt you. not into choking, slapping. not his cup of tea.

always rougher with some alcohol added to his system. much harder to contain the beast that way.

teeth mashing, love bites, rough hands. less restrained than normal. wild and frantic, like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted and he’s the hungriest man alive.

can’t even be called love making at that point, its just fucking.

he can hold out for a decent amount of time, thinking of that furball always helps pull him back a little. but if he cums before you it feels like a failure for him. weird mental block. he will absolutely do his very best make up for it, its rare when he does finish first but if does... you’re in for a long night ahead. especially if you do something to bring him over the edge, even when he warned you first.

he’s not partial to giving or receiving, likes both pretty equally. anything you give to him, he will always return the favor. he adores spending time in between your thighs more than anything else– can’t deny that you’re quite the pretty sight on your knees for him like that. blowjobs are always nice, no complaints there. he absolutely loves seeing him in your mouth, drooling over him like that. guilty little pride boost when you can’t fit him all in or you gag on him.

he can go to town on you. for a long time. and he’s very good at what he does. he’s an actor and singer, his art is practically his mouth. you best believe he takes your pleasure seriously. won’t let you go until your legs are shaking and you’re seeing white. his favorite thing about the entire experience is when your breathing starts to speed up, you squeeze your thighs tight around his head and grab his hair— the energy of the build up that happens, the adrenaline of knowing whats coming next. whos coming next. his heart rate increases and he gets butterflies deep within the heat of his stomach. he can get off on seeing you cum alone. would love to live between your thighs if you’d let him.

whenever you blow him off, he’s extremely vocal. zens a big moaner, especially when you use your mouth on him. loves to cum on your face, as long as that’s okay with you. if you open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, finishing him off with your hand while you gaze up at him with lidded eyes. he finishes hard whenever you do that. tries his best not to get it in your hair if he can help it. still a gentleman ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ♡

he can never get enough of seeing you absolutely wrecked. flushed, drooling, hot and completely drenched in more ways than one. determined to get you squirming from his fingers and mouth alone, as long as theres time, he can drag out sessions for quite a time. if you’re coherent afterwards then he feels he’s not doing something right.

really loves to overstim you, but turns into a big baby whenever you do it back to him. not a whiner, but certainly is if you keep using your tongue on him or riding him after he’s already came. you’ll have him squirming and begging if you keep going after he’s finished. insanely sensitive.

he deeply loves when you take the reins and go on top. gets a perfect view of... well, everything. to see you work yourself up and down his length, face twisted in pleasure and desire while you use him to get you where you please. its a big turn on for him.

mirrors in the bedroom. he has a thing for watching himself fucking you and seeing you being fucked. favorite is doggy style with you facing the mirror so he can see your face lost in desire perfectly. the desire he’s giving you. loves watching himself too tbh

if you grab his hair he will moan. moan. he absolutely loves when you grab his hair, especially while he’s going down on you. he has a sensitive scalp so it never fails to send a shiver down his spine. will groan so deeply into you, its a win-win for both parties.

he has wet dreams often. even in his sleep he can’t escape you. once you and him move in together they only seem to increase–so impromptu 3am sex is quite common with him around.

body worship. not just for him, but you as well. kisses you head to toe in the most passionate way a person possibly could with another. down on his knees as he does it, praises spilling from his lips as he practically prays to you.

for him, he just adores it when you shower him in over the top praises and affections. worship him. kiss him up and down and let yourself get lost in it, leave marks and scratches– marking his perfect form as yours.

leave your love bites or scratches in places people can see, out on display. deep inside he knows he should be ashamed being so brazen about them, but theres something intimately gratifying about having the world know he belongs to you, and only you. it gets him hot and bothered especially if he’s not able to cover them before he goes up on stage.

ruin his godly appearance. wreck him, leave him breathless, flushed, completely and utterly satisfied. mess up his hair, make him sweat–make him beg. seeing stars and going again and again until he can’t even speak correctly anymore. everytime he thinks he cant possibly be anymore in love with you, you get him like this and he realizes how wrong he truly was. he’s a mess, only for you.

#um this is my first time writing something like this in awhile hopefully its okay 👁👁#mystic messenger #mysme #mm #mysme zen #mm zen #zen mysme #zen mm #zen mystic messenger #hyun mysme #hyun ryu mysme #hyun ryu mystic messenger #zen hyun ryu #zen headcanons #n/sfw #18+#zen n/sfw

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worldwidemochiguy · 4 years

Text

Yandere! bts reactions — You’re scared of a bug

Namjoon

“Namjoon-oppa!”

Namjoon glanced up at you from the file he was perusing to see your eyes blown wide with fear.

“What’s wrong, darling?” He asked, already standing up.

“There’s a bug under a cup in the kitchen… can you get rid of it? Please?” Namjoon smirked at your desperate tone.

“Of course I will, darling, but first, let’s negotiate what you will do for me in return.”

“Oppa!” You whined, “Please just get it out of the house! I really hate bugs.”

“If you hate them so much, then surely you’ll be willing to do something to ensure I get rid of them properly.”

“Um… I could… make dinner for us tonight?”

“I’m expecting something a little more than that.”

“…I could give you a ‘thank you’ shoulder massage?”

Namjoon sighed.

“I mean of a sexual nature, darling.”

“Oh!” Your lips formed into a circle as you blushed, and Namjoon was inspired.

“Perhaps you can put those sweet lips of yours-“ he muttered, reaching a finger up to tug your bottom lip downwards, “to use, huh, darling?”

“And you’ll get rid of the bug if I do?” You tried to say, though it was difficult with his finger in your mouth.

“I promise, darling.”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself, before sinking to your knees. Namjoon smirked. He always got what he wanted in the end.

Jin

“You look so cute like that, jagi.”

You didn’t look at him, tear-filled eyes still fixed on the spider making its way up your blanket. You hadn’t expected much to happen when Jin went to the kitchen to make some more popcorn — after all, what movie night is complete without popcorn? — but you had screamed, bringing him running back into the room when you noticed the spider crawling inexorably towards your face.

You were deeply afraid of spiders. This was one of the first things Jin had learnt about you. He had gallantly offered to get rid of a spider that was on your coat during your first date. You wish he still did those kinds of things.

“Jin, please, please, just get rid of it.” You whispered, prompting Jin to laugh.

“But you look so sweet like this. So scared, it’s adorable. I want to see this face more often.”

You choked on a sob as the spider inched closer to you. It was now less than an inch away.

“Jin, stop being an asshole and just fucking get rid of it!” You yelled suddenly, desperate to get the thing off you. You knew immediately it was the wrong decision when Jin tensed up.

Without another word on his part — the only words spoken by you were frantic apologies and excuses — he strode over and caught the spider in his palm.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, tha-“ Jin stooped your grateful rambling with a sharp glance.

“Now,” he muttered, focusing on the spider in his palms as if he was talking to it. “How shall I use you to punish her for her behaviour?”

You gasped, “No, Jin, please don’t- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- Jin please just take it away, please.”

Jin only looked at you and smiled.

Yoongi

You knew flies probably weren’t capable of emotion, but that didn’t stop the fruit fly trapped in the upside down transparent cup you imprisoned it in giving you a baleful glance.

So what? You didn’t like bugs, it wasn’t not a big deal. You just wanted it out of the house.

You strolled into Yoongi’s office where he was deeply focused on his work, headphones covering his ears.

“Babe!” You shouted, but you might as well have said, “I want a divorce!” Because your husband wouldn’t have heard you either way.

Sighing exasperatedly, you moved to the wall and yanked out the power cable connected to his computer. The screen winked off and you watched Yoongi panic for a second, making you feel a bit guilty, before his eyes followed the now-lax power cable and found you standing sheepishly at the end of it.

“What?” He snarled, yanking off his headphones.

“I… uh, there’s a bug. In the kitchen. Under a cup.” With each halting sentence, his glare became more withering. “Could you get rid of it, please?”

He growled, but did get up, stalking towards you and yanking the power cable out of your hand and plugging it back in.

“Since you asked so nicely, I will, but afterwards, I’m coming back here to punish you for disturbing me. Got that, babe?”

Hoseok

“Aish, sunshine, you’re so cute!”

“Hoseok! Please just get it out of- ah it’s coming for me again!” You squealed, hiding behind Hoseok’s body as the moth attempted another dive-bomb. Your boyfriend was hardly suitable cover, given how hard he was laughing.

“I really hate moths! Please just get rid of it.” You whimpered, plastering yourself against Hoseok’s back and he took pity on you, turning around so he could encase you in his arms.

“I’m sorry, sunshine, but you’re just so cute like this! But I shouldn’t have laughed, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok- AH!” You screamed as you saw the moth come flying straight for you again, your head made an easy target propped up by Hoseok’s shoulder.

You buried your face in his chest and let out a little sob, ignoring the way his shoulders shook in poorly restrained laughter.

“It’s ok, baby, I have an idea!” Hoseok told you, before reaching out to switch off the light. The only light was now provided by the open window through which the sun spilled into the shadowy room. You were just able to discern the shadow of the moth as it darted out.

“Thank you!” You burst out, before covering your boyfriends face in kisses wherever you could reach. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re the best boyfriend in the whole world!”

Hoseok accepted your gratitude with a sunny smile and his own kisses in reply to yours.

“It’s ok baby, but honestly I do feel bad for the moth.”

“What? Why? It kept flying at my face, it was definitely evil.” You insisted, and Hoseok’s grin grew until his eyes turned into crinkled crescents.

“He was probably so confused, he was torn between the brightest, most radiant sun to exist… and some random ball of fire in the sky.”

You were worried the moth might come back, for you were pretty certain your cheeks were glowing so intensely as you blushed that they had just become the brightest thing for miles around.

Jimin

You felt a slight itch on your leg. For a while you ignored it, determined to finish the chapter of the book you were engrossed in, but the itching feeling persisted until, finally, you caved and reached down.

But what met your finger was not smooth skin, but something weird and fuzzy. It was predominantly shock that made you scream when you saw the spider on your leg. You had never really been that scared of bugs, but you certainly hadn’t been expecting one to be chilling out on your ankle.

After the brief moment of shock, you shrugged and brushed it off you. However, that was not going to be the only shock you received. You heard a distant crashing, and then thumping footsteps drawing closer and closer, until the door was thrown open.

“Get off her!” Jimin screeched as he burst into the room, dressed in his pyjamas and bathrobe. He looked around frantically, his body sunken into a karate stance, trying to identify the threat, before realising there was none.

“Baby, are you alright? What happened?” He rushed to you, frantically checking all over your body and ignoring your stream of ‘I’m fine, I’m okay, it was nothing.”

He rushed to the window, wrenching it open and leaning out. For one horrible second, you thought he might throw himself out, but he was only looking around to see if your possible assailant had somehow escaped through there.

“Running away like a coward, huh? I’ll get you! You’ll die for even touching her!” Jimin screamed, even as you tugged desperately on his robe, urging him back inside.

“Jimin, Jimin, Jimin,” You repeated over and over, trying to catch his wild gaze, “It’s ok, it was nothing, no one hurt me, I just got scared by a bug! That’s it!”

“T-that’s it?” Jimin paused, seeming uncertain even as you nodded.

After a moment of stillness, he crumpled, pulling you into him so tightly you could barely breathe.

“Ah, baby! Don’t ever do that again! I was so worried about you! Never let me hear you scream like that again, you understand? My heart can’t take it!”

Taehyung

“It’s not funny!” You cried at Taehyung’s phone as he recorded you with it.

“You’re wrong there, baby, it is very funny!” He crowed, almost dropping his phone in another hoot of laughter as you screamed again. The bug had just crawled onto your forehead.

You were deathly afraid of insects, something that Taehyung had never been afraid to tease you about. Even now, with tears streaming down your face and an expression of betrayal, Taehyung was filming you with glee, probably to use for blackmail material or to put in a photo album to cheer him up when he was down.

“Taehyung, please! You’ve filmed me enough, can’t you just — ah! It moved again! — can you please just get it off me!” You sobbed, and Taehyung sighed deeply and pressed the hand that wasn’t holding his phone against his heart.

“Hearing you plead like that really is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.” You screamed again, and he smirked. “Apart from your scream, of course.”

“P-please!” You wailed, and it seemed like Taehyung had a change of heart. Still holding up his phone, he moved closer to you and reached up a hand. You felt the bug, which was now inching its way towards your eyebrow, twitch in apprehension.

With one finger, Taehyung reached out and squished the bug against your skin.

“There you go, baby. You’re welcome.”

You screamed again.

“Taehyung! That’s disgusting! I just wanted you to get it off me! Why would you do that?”

“I already told you,” Taehyung smirked, “Your scream is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. I wish I could listen to it all day.”

His laughter chased you as you ran to the bathroom to wash off the mangled remains of bug mashed against your skin.

Jungkook

When Jungkook came home to find you sat on the couch scrolling through Netflix, he was surprised to say the least.

He had texted you to let you know he was going to be stuck at work until the early hours of the morning, and made you promise to go to bed without him so that you would get enough sleep. Now he found you disobeying his orders, but something still puffed up inside him in pleasure, knowing that you didn’t want to go to bed without him.

“I thought I told you to go to bed.” was Jungkook’s greeting. Once you realised he was there — you didn’t see him at first because you were so exhausted — you brightened considerably, getting up from your nest of blankets to hug him. He accepted it, tugging you into his arms for a moment, before pulling back to fix you with a stern glance.

“Princess, you need to get enough sleep.”

“I did try!” You protested, and Jungkook had to stop himself from cooing at your sleepy voice. “There was a fly buzzing around the bedroom and it bothered me so much I had to come out here.”

“A bug was bothering you?” Jungkook glowered, “Not for long, Princess. Don’t worry, I’ll get rid of it for you and then we can go to bed together.”

“My hero!” You giggled, pecking his cheek.

He smiled at you fondly, before advancing to the shut bedroom, a rolled up newspaper as ammunition and a fierce expression on his face. No one messed with his Princess and survived, not even bugs were safe from Jeon Jungkook’s wrath.

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goldenworldsabound · 3 years

Text

First Date

HNNNGH FIRST DATE WITH KAEYA!!! Kaeya finally convinces Golden to go drinking with him. They flirt. A lot. So much fluffy flirting. Loosely follows Not A Date-Quest.

Content warnings: Alcohol mention, my SI gets a little drunk (nothing bad happens as a result)

Word count: 2367

"That mission went well, so I think we should celebrate. Can I interest you in some Death After Noon?" Kaeya flashed Golden a grin as they walked back to Mondstadt. The sun was just setting.

Golden considered it. They had rejected this exact request from Kaeya as many times as he'd asked it. But today, as they recalled their conversation with Lisa, they found themselves considering accepting it.

"Um, sure. Yeah, why not?" Golden tried to play it cool, even as their heart was pounding.

"Great!" Kaeya's smile seemed more genuine to Golden. "It's a date then."

"It's NOT a date!" Golden corrected immediately, blushing.

"If you say so." Kaeya's grin turned sly.

---------------------

Kaeya was interesting to spend a lot of time with. They were wary of the idea that he might try to pry secrets from them as he did with many folks, but he seemed to be behaving. He was more keen on telling them stories, and listening to their stories in kind. He seemed to be paying a great deal of attention to them, and Golden found the heat rising to their cheeks often. But it was pleasant.

Of course, the heat in their cheeks may also have been due to how much they'd drank. They hadn't had alcohol in a long time (they couldn't remember if they'd ever), and by the second glass they were a bit of mess. They could tell that this was the case, but couldn't do much about it. And they felt warm and happy being drunk with Kaeya.

He felt amused by how swiftly they'd gotten drunk, gently clinging to his arm as they sat at the bar. But he had a feeling they'd need some looking after for a bit. It hadn't been his intent to get them drunk. He felt a bit bad about it, even as cute as they were with that perpetual wine blush on their face

"You're funny." Golden said with a wide smile, shyly looking down at where both their hands were holding his arm. His skin was warm against their hands.

"I'm quite a riot, for sure." He looked them over again, before sighing a little. He turned towards them more. "Do you want to go home?"

Golden considered, then shook their head. "No. Should I?"

Kaeya blinked. "No. I just think you've had enough to drink." He reached out his free hand to ruffle their hair. "How about outside for a breath of fresh air, then?"

"Mm, okay!" Golden looked at him almost coyly, and he had to fight his own blush down at their giggly, flirty expression.

"Great." He breathed out, smiling. Golden couldn't help but think the smile seemed softer than usual. Or was that just the wine playing tricks on them? He got to his feet slowly, holding his arm out for them to continue holding it.

Golden got to their feet far less steadily, gripping Kaeya's arm more tightly than they intended to, using it to steady themselves. Oh, geez. Why were things spinning?

"You okay?" Kaeya asked, reaching out his other hand to steady them.

"I'm fine yeah," Golden flashed Kaeya a grin even as they began to lean on him. Kaeya debated arguing, but let it go.

"Let's go find a quiet place to sit." Kaeya suggested, heading to the tavern's exit. Golden nodded, keeping pace.

"I, uh, I didn't mean to get so drunk," Golden admitted, with a guilty smile as they headed away from the tavern. They didn't know where they were going, but Kaeya seemed to have an idea. The cool air was pleasant after the hot tavern.

"Oh, didn't you?" Kaeya teased. He chuckled at her indignant expression. "It's alright. It's been fun to see you like this."

"Like what?" Golden asked, curious what he meant. They couldn't keep a small smile off their face.

"That cute little blush, for one." Kaeya replied smugly, watching with delight as they mashed their face into his shoulder with a giggle. This also caused them to trip over their own feet and stumble. Kaeya reached out with his other hand to steady them again, stopping for a moment. "Careful, darling."

"You knew that'd happen," Golden pouted up at him, as red faced as he'd imagined. They wrapped both their arms around his, pulling his arm against their chest. Kaeya blushed a little bit at the action.

He chuckled, keeping his composure. "I knew you'd blush more but I didn't suspect you'd trip over yourself." He ruffled their hair affectionately. He scanned the area quickly. "It's not what I had in mind, but that bench will work." This late there weren't many people out, so they were unlikely to be interrupted. Golden nodded agreeably, returning to holding his arm in just one of theirs, focusing intently on walking until they'd arrived at the bench.

Kaeya wanted to pull them onto his lap. By the seven, that was what he wanted. But they were drunk - that didn't sit right with him. So he sat down, and pulled them to sit next to him on the bench. They snuggled up to him almost immediately, pulling his arm to their chest again.

"What else?" Golden asked eagerly, despite the blush easily visible on their cheeks.

"Nearly tripping over yourself because I called you cute wasn't enough for you?" His smirk left them speechless.

"That- we're sitting now, it's fine." Golden cleared their throat awkwardly.

"You seem more relaxed. You're smiling wider than I've ever seen." Kaeya leaned over, brushing a loose strand of hair behind their ear. "You seem happy."

"Do I not seem happy normally?" Golden asked, pouting.

"Not always." Kaeya admitted. "You threaten to Anemo me with an alarming frequency," he teased, slipping a finger under their chin, tilting their face up towards him.

"I- I'm sorry." Golden's gaze slid to the side. "I'm so mean to you." Their eyes started to get misty at the drunken admission.

Kaeya was surprised, and hesitated for a moment. "I know you don't really want to hurt me. I deserve it sometimes anyway, with how I push your buttons."

Golden sniffled in response. Kaeya sighed, smiling. He took his finger out from under their chin, booping them on the nose with it.

"See? Just like that."

Golden laughed a little, freeing one of their hands to wipe at their eyes.

"I'll be nicer. I don't- I don't hate you or anything. I promise." Golden wasn't willing to let the topic drop quite yet.

"You promise? I'll be impressed if you remember this conversation, darling." Kaeya admitted, laughing quietly. "Come here." He freed his arm to wrap it around them, pulling them closer to him.

"I'm- I'm not that drunk! A-am I?" The idea seemed to make them nervous.

"I'm not sure. Don't worry. I'll make sure you get home safe and don't do anything too embarrassing." He flashed her a smile.

"I trusted you right up until that smile." Golden teased back. "That damn smile."

"What's wrong with my smile?" Kaeya asked, mocking offense, one hand on his chest, face aghast.

"It's too cute." Golden mumbled, pressing their face to his chest. Their face felt hot as their cheek touched his bare skin. Oh. Right. Tiddy window.

"Hm. So you want me to be less cute, or...?"

"Of course not." Golden mumbled. After a moment, they added, "I like the softer one more though."

"The softer one?" Kaeya's voice was quiet, hesitant.

"Like earlier, when you brushed my hair behind my ear..."

Kaeya hadn't even realized he'd been smiling when he'd done that. He was glad Golden had their face buried against his chest because he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks.

"That one's just for you." He whispered, wrapping his other arm around them, squeezing gently. "So don't tell anyone."

"Just for me?" Golden repeated, disbelief in their voice. They lifted their head to look at Kaeya with shining eyes.

Kaeya nodded. Golden let their head rest against his chest again, smiling.

"Thanks." They murmured, closing their eyes. "I feel...safe with you."

Kaeya was struck by that remark. But by the time he'd recovered, he'd noticed Golden's closed eyes, the way their breathing had shifted. They were falling asleep. In his arms. He couldn't stop that same soft smile from spreading across his face.

"Don't fall asleep here, Golden. You'll regret it if you do." A few of his fingers stroked their cheek tenderly.

"But I'm so comfortable..." Golden yawned with perfect timing.

"You would be more comfortable in your bed." Kaeya chuckled. "I'd offer to carry you but it's a bit far, and there's all those steps..." he shook his head, groaning dramatically.

"Will you carry me a little bit?" Golden asked, uncertain if they were joking or not even as they spoke the words. Kaeya laughed.

"How about I carry you to bed once we get to headquarters? Is that enough incentive for you to get up?" Kaeya was half hoping they'd run into someone inside headquarters. He loved stirring the rumor mill, and he was curious to hear what people would say. He'd already caught wind of a few folks gossiping about the alleged spark between them - about how flustered Golden got when his name was mentioned. What else would he hear, if someone saw him carrying a sleepy Golden to their room?

"Mmhm." Golden sat up, stretching with their arms above their head cutely. "Oop, sorry, almost hit you." They blushed shyly at the realization, pulling their hands to their lap.

"It's no trouble, darling." Kaeya watched them get to their feet before following suit. "Here." He offered them his arm again, and they took it, seeming a bit shyer than before. Kaeya suspected they were starting to come down off their high now. Which was good - he wasn't looking forward to shepherding a drunk Golden up the many stairs of Mondstadt.

And so they walked, quietly. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts, though not so much that they failed to try and sneak glances at the other person. Everytime their eyes met, Golden giggled and looked away shyly, while Kaeya would give that soft smile that was just for Golden.

Finally, or perhaps too soon, they were at the Knights of Favonius headquarters, where Golden had a room as an Honorary Knight. Kaeya opened the door, bowing his head slightly.

"After you, darling." He made a flourish with his arm, gesturing inward. Golden giggled and walked instead. Kaeya followed behind them with a smirk.

"Okay, time for- ah!" Golden squeaked in surprise as Kaeya scooped them up into his arms, bridal style. They could only look at his smug expression for a moment before pressing their face into the crook of his neck with a blush.

"Yes, time to go to bed, to get all tucked in and have a bedtime story." Kaeya teased. His laugh was a low rumble, almost like a purr, leaving Golden feeling powerless to resist his charm.

"I'd like that..." Golden mumbled. "I'd like that a lot."

"Good." He hummed as he walked down the hallway, feeling Golden relax into his arms. All too soon they were at Golden's door.

"This is my stop." Golden said with a smile.

"I suppose it is." Kaeya sighed before lowering them to the ground. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Golden. I hope we can do it again sometime..." He was smiling softly again, his eyes questioning.

"Yeah, I hope so too. I mean, I'd like that." Golden held their hands clasped in front of themselves, looking up at Kaeya shyly before casting their glance to the floor.

"Goodnight, my traveler." Kaeya leaned down, pushing back their bangs gently before pressing a kiss to their forehead. Golden lit up like a fire slime, but was pleased to see a hint of a blush on Kaeya's cheeks as well.

"Goodnight, Sir Kaeya."

-----------------------

Golden woke up with a serious headache. They sat up, groaning. They were grateful that Paimon seemed to have left their shared room already - the idea of having to talk to another being right now was painful. Just the faint sound of voices and people moving about the Knights of Favonius headquarters was making them close their eyes in frustration.

"Drink lots of water." They were pretty sure Kaeya had made the suggestion to them sometime last night. He would know about hangovers, they supposed.

This, of course, made them wonder exactly what had happened last night. Their memory seemed to be working slowly, but bits and pieces were coming to mind...

Wait, the water first.

Golden chugged the water and considered their situation. They could recall most of the conversation, though some of it was fuzzy. They barely remembered leaving the tavern. But they remembered in detail how much they'd been clinging to him at every opportunity. They set their water down for a moment as realization hit them.

"I've fallen for him." Golden mumbled allowed, putting their hands over their face, feeling their warm cheeks against their palms. "Oh no."

It should have been obvious to them in retrospect how they felt. And they were starting to feel that Lisa was right, too. Kaeya had treated them...different, last night. Sure he had been his usual flirty self, but he'd also taken care of them, and blessed them with so many genuine smiles...their heart ached.

But what should they do about it? Belatedly tell him that he was right, and it had been a date? Ask him out to another date? Tell him how they felt?

The mere thought even as they were fairly certain he returned their affections had them flopping facedown on their bed with a deep blush. Absolutely not. No.

Their headache made it hard to think.

Well... hopefully Kaeya would take matters into his own hands. Then, all they needed to do was just...accept. He'd asked them out to drink more times than they could count, even if this was the first time they'd accepted. So probably he would ask them again. Especially after how last night had gone.

Great. For now, more water, maybe a shower...and maybe they'd see Kaeya later. Maybe.

#fic #cryo and chill #self ship #selfship #selfshipping #self shipping #self insert #I'm really really over the moon about this one plz read 🥺

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michellewritesthings · 4 years

Text

Apologize

Word Count: 2,446

A/N: Alright this is my first fic I’m posting and I’m really hoping this doesn’t turn to shit. 🤍 ~Michelle

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a typical day in the Mind Palace. Patton and Virgil were relaxing on the couch with Virgil’s head laying on Patton’s lap as he looked through his phone. Logan was currently reading an astronomy novel on the recliner while Roman was watching and humming along to a compilation of Disney Mash-Up songs on YouTube. They all had been in these positions for about an hour. Roman looked towards the couch and saw Patton gently waving at him to look at Virgil who was softly humming along to “Friends On The Other Side”. Roman’s eyes widened at the sound of Virgil’s voice. Though it was soft and low, since he was trying to hide it, it was smooth and powerful. He gestured over to Logan who seemed to have the same reaction.

“Louder!” Roman yelled as he started bouncing in place. Virgil looked up from his phone to see the other three sides smiling with anticipation.

“What?” Virgil stared at the fanciful side in confusion.

“Sing louder! You sound absolutely magnificent, Doom and Gloom!”

“I must agree with Roman on this, Virgil. Your voice does sound quite beautiful to say the least.” Logan agreed, giving off the faintest of smiles. Virgil was about to rebut when Patton spoke up.

“They’re right, kiddo! Your singing is so pretty! Why don’t you do it more often?” Patton asked looking down at the confused yet seemingly uncomfortable side laying on his lap.

“Guys I wasn’t even singing. Even if I was, I don’t do it because I sound terrible…” Virgil then brought his phone back up to his face to shield the oncoming blush rising to his cheeks due to all the words of praise.

“Virgil, you were singing. We all heard it. And you do not sound terrible at all.” Logan told him as Virgil started pulling his hoodie over his face, tightening the strings.

“Aww kiddo, no need to feel embarrassed! It was amazing!” Patton praised while trying to pry the hoodie away from his face.

“I wasn’t singing though!” Virgil protested as Roman started to laugh.

“Aww is our wittle Stormcloud getting blushy because we said his singing sounds pwetty?” Roman cooed. Logan stifled his own laugh.

“Shut up, Princey! I wasn’t singing!” Virgil knew what Roman was doing. He’s done this a countless amount of times in the past. He’s trying to rile him up in hopes he gets too frustrated and just tells the truth. But there’s no way in hell he’s gonna fall for that trick… again.

“Maybe I don’t wanna shut up, you shadowy but angelic songbird! Thanks for that one, Patton!” Roman winked at the fatherly figure.

“No problem, Roman. Don’t tease him too much though.” Patton warned with a smile.

“Yeah, Princey! Don’t tease me!” Virgil pouted and looked away.

“Correction! He said don’t tease you TOO MUCH! Therefore, that gives me all the permission to tease you. It’s not my fault that you can’t help but go a lovely shade of red whenever someone compliments you and your gorgeous singing voice, is it now you adorably dark and stormy knight?” Roman smirked. Even Patton couldn’t help but let out a small giggle.

“Roman, you freaking drama king, shut the hell up!” Virgil snapped from under his hoodie. Though Roman wasn’t actually hurt by Virgil’s comment, he still wanted him to receive a consequence for such remarks. And he knew just how to give him one without having to lift a finger. Without warning, Roman dramatically gasped and shot Patton his very best pouty face.

“Patton! Virgil called me a drama king!” Roman whined and crossed his arms. Logan looked over at Virgil and saw no change in his behavior. But Logan realized what Roman was trying to do and hid his face behind his book, stayed shut and got ready to see the show.

“Aww well that’s not very nice. Don’t worry, Roman, honey, I’ll take care of it.” Roman was close enough for Patton to boop his nose, which in turn made Roman blush a bit.

“Now Virgil, name calling isn’t a nice thing to do, now is it?”

“Pat! He started the whole thing, you saw it!” Virgil made no attempt to remove his hoodie from his face. Patton just had that face that when he spoke like this, you instantly felt guilty for whatever it was he was “reprimanding” you for. And Virgil was determined to win this battle.

“It doesn’t matter who started it. Name calling isn’t allowed. Now, what do you say to Roman?”

“Yeah, Virgil. What do you say to me?” Roman flashed a cheeky smile to Virgil once he caught eye contact with the anxious side. Virgil rolled his eyes at him and crossed his arms.

“I’m not apologizing to him. You can’t make me.” Virgil didn’t realize the impact nor trigger the effect his words had on Patton and Roman.

“Oh you’re gonna get it now…” Roman moved back towards Logan and got ready to watch what would unfold.

“Oh I can’t?” Patton said with a tone that unsettled the younger side who still laid on his lap.

“Nope.” Virgil said with a little less confidence in his voice as he SLOWLY started to move off of Patton’s lap. Patton noticed this very quickly and snatched his arms as he pulled him so Virgil’s back was now on his lap and held his arms up over his head. Patton could see the realization in Virgil’s eyes. He made a mistake with that answer. He really, truly did. And there was no way he could take it back now.

“I don’t think you knew what you were doing when answering that question, Virge.” Patton started dragging his right pointer finger around the section of Virgil’s tummy that was now exposed since his arms were raised above his head. This definitely got Virgil’s nervous running wild as he knew what was about to happen. But being the stubborn person Virgil is, he refused to give Patton what he wanted. He stiffened his body and looked up at the ceiling.

“We both know how this will inevitably end. But, I’m gonna give you one chance to redeem yourself to potentially save yourself, kiddo. So I’ll ask again: I can’t make you apologize to Roman?” Patton asked right by Virgil’s ear which sent those awfully familiar tingles down his spine as he shivered. Patton noticed this and smirked in satisfaction.

“I’m. Not. Apologizing.”

Roman and Logan looked at each other in satisfaction and slight fear for Virgil’s well being because Patton can go a little nuts…

Patton sighed. “Well if that’s how it’s gonna be, guess I’m just gonna have to resort to this punishment…” Patton lifted Virgil’s shirt to his chest as he started to pull at his arms and kick his legs.

“Patton, please..”

“Don’t you ‘Patton, please’ me, Kiddo. You knew what was coming. Now, try not to buck too much when the tickles touch down.” That was the final thing Patton said before his right hand turned into that signature claw and attacked Virgil’s tummy. As much as he tried to keep that pouty look on his face, that action made him jump and start squirming on Patton’s lap.

“PAHAHATTON!! NO TICKLES!! NOHOHO TIHIHICKLES!!” Virgil pulled frantically at his arms and kicked his legs harder. Patton simply flashed him an evil smirk.

“Yes tickles! Yes tickles!” Patton then moved his hand to Virgil’s ribs and expertly wiggled his fingers in between the bones, taking his sweet time with each space. He always knew this drove Virgil nuts.

Once he was done with his ribs, his hand traveled toward Virgil’s left armpit. Virgil was able to pull his left arm free and rocket it down toward his side before Patton could make his move. Patton went for the other one but still wasn’t quick enough when Virgil got his other arm free and brought it down to his side.

“Hohohow about thahahat, Pops…” Virgil smirked while still letting out tiny, breathless giggles. Patton squinted his eyes at his smart remark and didn’t respond. Then he got an idea.

He waited for Virgil to calm down a bit then suddenly, but gently, pushed him off his lap and onto the ground. Virgil looked up and saw Patton smirking. He tried to make a run for it, more like attempting to stand up but not having the energy so he quickly crawled to the stairs then squealed as Patton grabbed both his ankles.

“Where do you think you’re going, huh?!” Patton playfully growled as he tried to pull Virgil towards him but he had a grip on the handle of the staircase.

“Need help getting him off, Patton?” Logan asked.

“Logan!” Virgil snapped and Logan stared at him shrugging.

“Oh don’t worry about it, Lo. Leave it to me.” He let go of Virgil’s ankles and slowly walked up to his torso. Patton bent down toward his head and laid both of his hands on Virgil’s ribs and got close to his ear.

“Coochy, coochy, coochy coo...” Patton teases quickly while digging his fingers deep into each of Virgil’s ribs. This successfully made him release the bars to grab his midsection while Patton ran back to his ankles and dragged him to the center of the living room and sat on his hips.

“That’s better! Isn’t it, Giggles?” Patton smiled down at the anxious side and saw him start to blush once more.

“Aw you like that nickname don’t you, Giggles?” Patton awed as he wiggled his fingers under Virgil’s chin and watched him duck down and fall into adorable little titters once more.

“You always did like the soft and sensitive stuff. Your neck was a favorite of yours.” Patton said as he fluttered his fingers around Virgil’s neck and watched as his giggles went up an octave as he started to kick his legs again.

“But the one place I know you absolutely adore, are those cute little ears of yours!” Patton then used both his hands to flutter around both of Virgil’s ears. Virgil squealed and started frantically moving his head side to side to get away from the fingers that were now tracing the inside and out of both ears. After a few minutes, Patton moved his hands back to give him a break.

“Now, are you ready to apologize to Roman? Or do we have to take this up a notch?” Virgil looked worn out but he was still determined to win.

“Nehehever…” Patton’s eyes lit up at the answer.

“Okay good! Cause now, I get to tickle you more! And just because I’m impatient, and I think you’ve had your fill of soft and sensitive, I wanna hear some belly laughs!” Patton then lifted Virgil’s shirt and rested his hands on Virgil’s hips. He stopped squirming and stared at the ceiling as he paled.

“Patton…” Logan started, knowing that when Patton went straight to someone’s death spot, he was fully overcome with the sheer thought of being able to slowly pick someone apart, playfully, through their laughter. It was almost hypnotic.

“Don’t kill him, Padre!” Roman slightly shouted. By this point, he was beginning to regret putting Virgil in this position.

Patton stared back at the logical and the creative sides and smiled innocently. “Oh don’t worry, Princey! I’m not gonna kill our little Stormcloud here! I’m just simply gonna make him laugh!” Patton switched his gaze back to Virgil. He lifted his hands up in the air and formed them into the shape of claws and started bringing his hands down slowly to Virgil’s hips.

“Nohoho Pat, plehehease don’t!” Virgil tried his very hardest to buck Patton off him. But because of all the previous laughter and squirming, his attempts were futile.

“I’m coming for them, Virgil…” his claws move closer to his hips.

“Patton, come ohohon!”

“I’m gonna get them, Virgey. I’m gonna get those ticklish hips…” Closer.

“Plehehease dohohon’t!”

“Here I come…” Patton’s fingertips were just barely touching Virgil’s hips. There was a sudden silence in the room. All sides besides Patton were waiting anxiously for what would happen next. After a minute, Virgil finally grew the courage to look down and what he saw would haunt him for a good while. He locked eyes with Patton as he saw that playfully evil smirk resting graciously on his face.

“Laugh for me.”

Patton then ducked down and blew the biggest and longest raspberry on Virgil’s hips. Patton said he wanted to hear some belly laughs. He got that and much, much more. Virgil screamed loud enough to make the other two sides in the room flinch and cover their ears. The screams, snorts, squeals, squeaks, and belly laughs came pouring in as Patton continued giving his tummy more raspberries as he dug his thumbs into Virgil’s hips with force.

“PAHAHAHAHAHATTON!! PLEHEHEASE!! I CAHAHAHAHAN’T ANYMORE!!” Virgil screamed. Patton heard his voice grow wheezy and hoarse. This is when he knew the fun, or in Virgil’s case torture, needed to end.

“Are you ready to apologize to Roman?” Patton asked as he fluttered his fingers around Virgil’s ears to keep him on his toes.

“Yehehehes! Now stohohop!”

“I’m not stopping until I hear you say it.”

“I’m sohohorry, Rohohohoman!” Virgil squeaked as Patton’s fingers met his chin.

“And what are you sorry for?” Patton asked innocently.

“Cahahahalling him a drama kihihihing!! Now lehehet me go!!” Once those words left his mouth, Patton immediately shot up and hopped back into place on the couch. Virgil laid there, attempting to catch his breath. Roman and Logan looked at each other, then at Virgil, then Patton.

“You okay, Virge?” Roman asked cautiously. Virgil sat up and hugged his torso.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Could’ve been worse.” Roman smiled and hugged Virgil from the side.

“I forgive you…” Virgil rolled his eyes and smiled back.

“Are you alright, Patton?” Logan asked.

“Oh kiddo, I’m fantastic!” Patton smiled at Logan who smiled back at him nervously.

“Although, there is someone else in this room who deserves a punishment.” Patton smiled at the three sides and they all looked confused.

“Oh Roman~” Patton sang as Roman’s breath hitches and his face went pale. Virgil and Logan were now side by side on the recliner as they watched Patton get up and walk slowly towards Roman. Roman was moving back on the ground until his back hit the bottom stairs.

“You know it’s not nice to tease people, Princey.” Patton smirked.

“B-but Padre, you said it was okay!” Roman exclaimed as he saw Patton raise his hands and wiggle his fingers in his direction.

“Run.”

Roman wasted no time in running up the stairs.

#my writing #sanders sides fic #moxiety #tickle fic #ler!patton #ler!virgil #tickle community #sanders sides #sanders sides tickle

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