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#and like im really considering contacting some ppl in Germany bc like all the papers i look at are german. the germans are doing cool
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#do i feel guilty abt spending like 4+hrs working on my CV during normal work hours today? yes#but also i spent 5 months getting paid part time when i was working 10+hr days 6 days a week#so i feel like it balances out#also i need to update my cv as things happen bc i instantly forget so many things i do#like i forgot i was named on at least 1 publication. like completely forgot until i searched my name on google scholar#also i have like 25 posters/presentations to my name. and only like maybe 5 of those are ones that r just in name#ive given a lot of talks/poster presentations lol#my cv is so long. i prob should have shortened it more before i sent it to the dude im talking with#but like. idk im gonna meet him next week so like if i commit a little faux pas by sending a too long cv im sure its fine. hes already#interested enough to chat. and therefore i have to bust my ass preparing to meet with him#bc hes from the most prestigious uni ive contacted. so like really theres no way ill get in. but i will shamelessly try#god. ive gotta really study hard. like i mean i dont have to but ive been so burnt out for so long that ive been slipping when it comes to#hardcore academic stuff. like my memory of genetics and chem stuff is slipping. and generally i find it difficult to wrangle my thoughts in#a way that makes sense. so i really wanna be prepared to talk to him#lol my boss is gonna get back from Europe like hey ur gonna follow me to las vegas? and im gonna be like haha fuck that i dont wanna live#there. i am currently 1 foot out the door. im at the bus stop waiting for someone to give me the money for the science bus#give me funding to study cool stuff!!!!#ugh and i still need to look for more ppl to ask. like i want at least 2 or 3 US options on top of my 3 potential UK options#and like im really considering contacting some ppl in Germany bc like all the papers i look at are german. the germans are doing cool#cyanobacteria bullshit. and im jealous and i dont speak german but hey ive got a year to learn#so idk maybe ill see if my boss talked to anyone cool while she was at her conferences. pls boss tell me abt the other cool cyanobacteria#ppl 🙏 but idk. i feel like ppl dont quite get what im interested in. bc its astrobiology but really its more evolution and understanding#the fundamentals of life. so like no i dont wanna go to mars. i wanna understand what freaky shit life was doing millons if years ago#ugh. im being a slacker. ive gotta shift into try hard mode.#but also i wanna draw and finish my fanfics 😭 we'll see what happens#unrelated#also thank u to the ppl who sent kind words on my post yesterday! im still shadowbanned so i cant reply to u 😭
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moritzstiefelwiki · 7 years
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Yooo for the detailed headcanon meme would u mind doing like... all the ones ure able to for Hanschen? Like feel free to skip as many as u want but itd be cool to hear ur thoughts on my Best Boy
Um? Little Hansy Rilow? Jackass Extraordinaire? Love of my life? Ofc I’ll do as many as I can!! Thanks so much for sending these! I hope you like them and I’m sorry they took me so long! (Also I answered these out of order and towards the end I was running a bit low on steam so there are some answers that are Not So Good mixed in there, sorry)
Under the cut or on Ao3 here :) 
1. What does their bedroom look like?
I think for the most part it would be tidy. Bed made, desk (mostly) clear, etc. He’s got some laundry on the floor, a couple of books lying about, and his jacket as well as his school things are never put away but everything else is in it’s place. 
His desk is by the window so he can make good use of natural light and It’s usually got assignments for school on it as well as whatever books might go along with them when he’s not using it. 
He keeps a small collection of books in his room- his favourites. Whatever he’s currently reading is kept on his bedside table and everything else is stacked by his desk but they should be on the shelf in the living room. 
He’s a nerd.
2. Do they have any daily rituals?
 I don’t think he would, not outside what he needs to do (school). Not unless you count him monologuing while he masturbates as a ritual, I have a feeling that’s a daily thing. 
3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?
 He does not, he would much rather lounge somewhere comfy with something he finds enjoyable. A book, a person, a puzzle, etc. 
4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?
I can see him being like “Everybody, get out of my way” (This is meant to be read in John Mulaney’s voice from the thing where he followed this with something like “I’m just here to feed my birds”) but I can also see him just clearing enough space for himself and getting to work. I guess it depends on who’s in the kitchen making what and what he’s going to be making. He’s not going to be interrupting someone that’s making cake or pastries just so he can cut vegetables in peace. 
5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)
His parents/governess were somewhat strict about cleanliness when he was a child so he makes an effort to keep himself well groomed, especially when adults are present. No dirt under his fingernails, his clothes and hair are neat etc. He’s less concerned about it when he’s with the other boys and even less when he’s relaxing, either by himself or with Ernst, but he still somewhat pays attention to how much dirt he’s getting on himself or how much work it will take him to make himself look properly presentable before he finds himself around adults again. 
I think I got into workspace okay with his bedroom? He’s mostly tidy because he has to be, any disorder in his room can easily be taken care of. 
6. Eating habits and sample daily menu
I think he would love sweet things (candy, fruit, berries, etc) and he’s always a slut for baked goods. I have no idea what kind of things ppl usually ate in 1890′s Germany. 
7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time
He only really considers time wasted if he’s not spending it on something he likes to do or needs to do. So he has no favourite way to waste time, he only feels as though he’s wasting time if he’s bored out of his mind for no good reason. 
8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging
Ernst. It really isn’t safe for him to be smooshing booties in a vineyard with another boy but? He’s doing it. And being all poetic about it too ofc, he really likes Ernst. 
If he can indulge he will, he loves it. Life’s too short to deny himself pleasure, so long as said pleasure doesn’t harm him and/or get in the way of him becoming a millionaire.  
9. Makeup?
None. I can see him maybe trying, or at least wanting to try makeup at some point? Never with anyone around or if there was a chance of someone catching him though. (I’m a sucker for boys in makeup tho and I think modern Hanschen would enjoy makeup. If u want to hear a bit more abt that u know how 2 contact me)
10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?
Neurotypical Hans™
11. Intellectual pursuits?
Literature and languages. He loves reading, loves diving into a book and analyzing characters, plot, symbolism, all of it. He loves talking about them as well, he could talk for hours about his favourites. He’s fascinated by other languages and speaks a handful rather fluently as an adult. He probably also enjoys reading the same book but translated into different languages because no translation is exact and it’s always interesting to see a slightly different take on things. 
I can also see him having interest in biology? Because science is fascinating and it’s amazing how diverse and intricately designed living things can be. 
12. Favorite book genre?
He talks about the books he likes when he’s jerking off so I don’t think I really need to get into that lmao 
13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?
Multisexual. Bi/pan/ply/whatever. A pretty person is a pretty person & all that.
I think he might see the idea of sexual orientation as a little silly or perhaps performative? He understands that he’s expected to only like women and knows that once he’s older he’ll be expected to marry one, to have children etc etc. So for the most part he keeps his attraction to men to himself (Ernst being a very obvious exception, likely not the only one but it’s not something he would ever reveal lightly) and he thinks that most people are doing the same in order to avoid being judged negatively by their community.
Something along the lines of “everyone is only acting like they’re exclusively attracted to the opposite sex because it’s what’s seen as normal. They don’t want everyone else to point fingers at them calling them sinners and sexual deviants and condemning them to hell so they deny themselves half the beauty the world has to offer. For this same reason, they’re quick to attack anyone around them who might be revealed as queer. They’re so focused on keeping their own secret safe that they never realize everyone around them is keeping exactly the same one.”  
14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?
Biggest: “When I am amillionaire”Smallest: I don’t think he has any small goals tbh ? 
17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress
I’m not rly sure what this one’s asking tbh?? He likes looking nice tho.
18. Favorite beverage?
Hot chocolate 
19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?
Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona?
(I think a recurring theme would be his future- what he wants, what he can get, how he can get it etc.)
20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?
I’m stickin 2 sex ones bc otherwise it’s Too Vague and stresses me tf out tbh
Turn-ons: hair pulling, necking (he loves hickies but he’s strict about not having any that might be visible), being straddled, nice thighs, a good ass, little gasps and moans, begging
Turn-offs: bad kissing, poor hygiene, not listening to/paying attention to his feedback, going too fast (Mr. “half-closed eyes, half-open mouths, and turkish draperies” would Def love foreplay and teasing,, trying to skip right over it is? A no.)
22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?
See 1  
24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?
See 11 (he’s pretty good at everything tho)
25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?
Long dead because it’s 2017, but 5 years from the show he probably sees himself in university. 
26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?
I don’t know what his plans would be but I’m sure he’s got some cushy career in mind that he wants to work towards. He’s a Rilow, he doesn’t need a backup plan. 
27. What is their biggest regret?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?
Ernst. His worst enemy is probably whoever is second in the class rankings, if you go by the play. Melchior in the musical. Little Hans is In It To Win It. 
29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)
His brain shuts down for a minute and then he realizes that yes, this is happening and oh dear god I need to get out of here. He tries (and fails) to give the impression that he is calm, cool, and collected but he’s doing pretty good for someone who is screaming internally as loudly as he is.    
30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)
He just keeps going. He tries to act like everything is fine, to show that he’s strong. The second he’s alone he deflates. He’s depressed af but does everything he can to hide it. 
31. Most prized possession?
I’m not sure what exactly, but it’s something fancy and adult that makes him feel sophisticated. He won’t admit how much he loves it though. 
32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit
33. Concept of home and family?
He thinks of it as faintly ridiculous. 
“Why are these people somehow more important than others simply because you share blood? Shouldn’t the value of your relationship with someone have more to do with how well you get along and care for each other? What’s the point of marriage, you put on a show so you can have children as you’re expected to and this absurd cycle repeats with your children and so on.”
34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)
He greatly values his privacy, he usually only shares exactly as much information as is necessary. Unless he trusts you, in which case he doesn’t s hut the fu ck u p 
35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?
See 7
36. What makes them feel guilty?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?
Analytical for the most part. He knows what he wants out of life and  what he needs to do to put him on the path to getting it. I feel like he operates with a mindset a bit like “people can leave you but things are forever” and so he’s pretty okay with making decisions that hurt people (himself included) if it will benefit him financially, academically, raise his social status etc. 
38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?
A? I don’t know tbh, my knowledge about this is limited to the 30 seconds I spent skimming the wiki article   
39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?
Peace and quiet, being alone. Bonus points if he’s somewhere pretty and/or rly comfortable.  
40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?
I don’t feel I know enough about either to say lmao  
41. How misanthropic are they?
He thinks people are ridiculous, h
ryan sent me a post abt dragon dicks which got me rambling abt this one furry i follow and. lowkey shattered my train of thought, I don’t remember what i was planing 2 say here and I’m too tired to start the Thought Translation Process over again lmao 
42. Hobbies?
Reading, puzzles, Ernst, calligraphy, 
43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?
He completed university. The only real difference between formal education and self-education is if you have a diploma people will believe you when you say you know what you’re talking about.  
44. Religion?
He’s whatever everyone else is. I don’t what religion everyone is in the show,, I don’t know shit abt religion tbh. But he believes in god, though he’s not as devout as everyone else. 
45. Superstitions or views on the occult?
Foolish. Ridiculous. Absurd. Childish. He believes in them.
46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?
Words mostly. He’s excellent with them and loves to talk and talk and talk. 
47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?
Ernst, probably. I don’t doubt that Hans loves him dearly but I don’t think he’s in love.  
48. How do they express love?
He talks about milk. 
I can’t think of anything lmao
49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?
Tbh I can’t imagine him fighting. He probably just says something that pisses someone off and then gets knocked flat on his ass. 
50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?
I don’t think so, I think he feels almost like. I don’t think invincible would be the right word, but he sees no reason to fear it at his age. Yes, Wendla and Moritz died, but he has no plans to kill himself and he can’t get pregnant so a botched abortion isn’t a threat to him. He’s in good health and he’s got his wits about him. What is there for him to be afraid of? He can worry about dying later. 
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