#and learning to find hope and not just stew in misery or stagnate in 'this is the way things are' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gloriousmonsters · 1 year

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hi hello just saw everything everywhere all at once and i am experiencing the temporary euphoria of remembering that in a fragmented and chaotic universe we must search for wonder make our own meaning and most importantly be kind

#anyway i'm also exhausted and i'm going to bed #i had to stop my therapist from saying my mom had 'narcissistic tendencies' when i was describing some shit she did in the past today #and be like 'um actually i have '''narcissistic tendencies''' so could we please Not'#obviously she was not initially buying it when she asked 'why did you think that' but I did outline the things that had resonated with me #why i self dxed and how it was a hugely important tool for making sense of the way my brain worked #and therefore figuring out how to effectively try and improve #and touched on the 'it sucks that people are forming clubs to call everyone they don't like a narcissist' and #'if you say someone with a PD doesn't do (x) good behavior you're basically saying a PD is a life sentence and not just information #about how your mind/personality tends to work' greatest hits #and she did seem to agree with a lot of what I said #and seemed to understand when I said I just straight up didn't want to talk about my parents being mentally ill #because what mattered to me was how they chose to act #and not what may or may not be a contributing factor #and ultimately she said she appreciated that I'd spoken up and we could look into dx stuff for npd if I wanted #(which I don't know if I do want! but I feel like it's a positive-ish thing for her to bring up)#so overall it was scary and exhausting but I was pretty happy with how I handled it #and it had me already thinking a lot of Big Stuff about self-improvement and sense of self #and learning to find hope and not just stew in misery or stagnate in 'this is the way things are'#and then the movie hit and it was just the perfect movie to watch today #genuinely a masterpiece god tier acting and effects never a dull moment #and listen i just need everyone to try and be kind to yourself and others ok we need it #believe that you can be okay and you are okay and spend a little time with something or someone you love

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