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#and it's not something I think she would want to pursue. not something I think she would be okay with.
mytearsricochvtt · 2 days
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secret’s out || emily fox
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based on this request! got a bit carried away while writing it so i hope you like it nonny✨🤍🫶🏻
secrets out || emily fox
you and emily started dating around two years ago when your best friend alex morgan introduced the two of you during one of the uswnt team nights, when you were staying with alex before your move to arsenal since you had already sold your place and all your belongings were being shipped over to london.
you and emily had instantly clicked, spending the whole night in a quiet corner talking and getting to know each other. you had told her then that you were moving to arsenal, not wanting to pursue her without her having the whole picture. you still had a month till your move to london so emily suggested the two of you go on a few dates to see if there was anything more than that instant connection that you both felt.
six dates later you both knew there was something between the two of you so you both came to the decision to try and make things work between the two of you.
two years later the two of you were still going strong, the two of you visiting each other anytime either of you had a few days off, staying up late to talk to each other after a games. you were both willing to do whatever it took to make your relationship work.
-
it wasn't a surprise to you when one of the nights you two were on the phone that she was talking to you about moving teams, she wanted a challenge, she needed a move to better her skills. you told her that you would support her no matter what she chooses to do.
a week later she came to you and told you that she had made the decision to move clubs and she had already received an offer from a team abroad, she wouldn't tell you who the team was, instead telling you that you would find out soon.
that is why you didn't think of it when she showed up at your doorstep a week later you didn’t think anything of it, just thinking that this was her coming out to see you before she moved to whatever club it was she was going to.
later on that night when you were both laying in bed, you were cuddled into emilys side hand on her heart so you feel her heart beating, something that always clamed you down and lulled you to sleep.
"i am transferring to arsenal."
you froze, wondering if you had heard her right. you sat up and turned to look her, "you're what?"
"i'm moving to arsenal. technically i have already moved. i signed my contract yesterday when i first got here, and i know i should have talked to you about it first, i really wanted to but i wanted to surprise you. please don’t be mad at me!”
“em, calm down! i’m not mad at you, i promise i’m not!” you told her,
-
three weeks later emily had settled in well with the rest of the team, already knowing lotte and alessia from university, which made her transfer a lot smoother.
you had also enjoyed having your girlfriend around a lot more, no more late facetimes or trying to find some free time so you could see each other for a few days. one of your favourite things about emily being in london was that you could steal her clothes anytime you wanted to, you didn't need to wait until you see her again or beg her to send you some of her hoddies.
so, any chance you got you would wear them. instead of wearing your training gear, you would wear emily's. you would never admit this to her since you thought it was kind of weird, but you had missed the smell of her. so much so that you had even went out and bought the perfume she wears, so when her jumpers no longer smelled of her you would spray a few pumps of it onto the jumper, so you could cuddle into it when you were going to sleep.
if you thought about it hard enough, it was like she was she was laying right next to you. but if she was to ever find out about that, you would deny it until your last breath.
every morning when you would arrive at training, you would put yours and emily's things in both of your lockers, then you would meet her in the cafeteria where she would already have your breakfast waiting for you.
normally the two of you would be sat at a table tucked away from everyone else. but this time when you went to join her, she was sat with lotte, beth, katie and caitlin. which you didn't mind, happy that she felt comfortable enough to do so.
you saw that she had saved you a seat so you made your way over to her, smiling at the fact that she had gotten you an extra slice of toast, knowing that you were not much of a fan of the breakfast that was being served that day.
when you sat down next her, you whispered a small 'hi' to her while you placed a quick peck to her temple.
she stopped mid sentence to kiss you quickly before she finished what she was saying.
you both missed the confused looks that your teammates gave you both, glancing at each other to see if any of them new about the two of you. since you both missed the weird looks they gave you both, you asked them if they knew what the team meeting was going to be about. when none of them answered you, that is when you saw the looks they were giving you.
"what? what is wrong? why are you all looking at me like that?" you asked, suddenly aware of all the eyes that were on you.
none of them spoke for couple of seconds, they would look at you then look at emily, look at you then look at emily, it went on like that until beth was the one who spoke up.
"since when did- since when were you a couple? and why have none of us knew about it?" beth questioned, while the other girls hummed in agreement.
" it has been two years, coming up for three in a couple of months. why? did none of you know?" you asked them, you assumed that they all knew that you and emily were a couple, since you always talked about her to anyone who would listen.
"no! we just thought that you were best friends!" caitlin says, "it made sense to us since you both played for the same team before you both moved here. i can't believe none of us figured it out!"
"i bet you all feel very stupid right now," emily teased, throwing an arm around your shoulder while she kissed your cheek.
"secret is out i guess."
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valewosomtb · 1 day
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not a burden|| a. Putellas × platonic!reader
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warnings: literally none
a/n: Lowkey wrote this based on some personal experience and just had to get it out off my system, love the fear of missing out🤪
You always felt like a second choice. Like you were always there just when some of your so-called friends didn't have anyone else to hang out with. But that is also what your love life, or whatever you should call it since there's not even L from your love life in existence, looked like.
When you find someone you like or you're just attracted to, and you try to pursue it to see where the things go, you somehow end up being heartbroken because that person has someone else or they just haven't gotten over their ex OR you're just a distraction. In the most of the cases, you were just a distraction.
It happened too many times you thought it was a reason you were scared of commitment. That was also a reason why you were scared of opening up to people when you just KNOW they're gonna use it against you or just use you.
Another problem was, that you were a people pleaser. You'd always put someone else's happiness before yours. Even if it killed you. As long as you got to please someone.
Everyone on the team knew your fun, smiley, chaotic, spontaneous side. Almost no one knew the real you. You were always the one to make everyone laugh with your incredibly bad jokes or dumb ideas you always came up with. Even after a bad game, you were the one who would try to cheer everyone up and motivate them.
You were closest to Alexia and Keira. Keira helped you when you signed with Barça and Alexia took you under her wing when she saw how adorable you were the first time when you met her and were a big stuttering mess since she was your idol for a long time.
From time to time, you get into your head. There are some periods when you do nothing but overthink everything. From your performances on training or in the game, to just your relationships with everyone around you.
Everyone told you that you were a very likable person and that there can't be many people who don't like you. You strongly disagreed with that statement.
Especially, in this period when you can't help but think about your relationships in the team.
It was another day, another training, you woke up early in the morning like every other morning, had a little breakfast, and went for a 3-mile run. You just loved running it made your mind clean and easy, and your thoughts stopped running as your legs started. This was the only time you felt happy with yourself.
After you finished, your legs burned but you couldn't care less. You got a quick shower and then got ready for the main training of the day. As you were driving to the stadium the overthinking got louder. All you could think about was do you actually belonged there and do others wanted you there.
You were the first one there, as usual, you were thankful for that. You were walking slowly towards the locker room, when you got there you just sat there and stared at the wall across from you. Just sitting there, overthinking, you were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even realize that the locker room was already full.
You quickly wiped the tear from your cheek and continued to get ready as everyone else. As you were getting ready to go out on the field, you realized that no one greeted you, like you weren't even there. That just confirmed your overthinking… no one cared about you.
What you didn't think about was that your cubby was far from others and that everyone else greeted you, you just didn't hear because you were spaced out.
Another thing that confirmed your overthinking was when you heard everyone else talking about some kind of team building that supposedly happened yesterday. This was the first time you heard something about that. Did they forget to invite you?
„I can't believe you did that! You and Mapi need to stop challenging each other.“ You heard Lucy say. The fear of missing out was triggering slowly.
„You're right about that, I think it's time for us to stop with that bullshit, “ Patri said with a laugh following, „What I'm more surprised about was that Alexia let us do it at her place!“
Alexia's place? Alexia hosted the team building night. And she forgot to invite you? Or she just didn't want you there and that's why she didn't invite you?
Your head started to spin. You quickly rushed to the bathroom, sat down on a toilet, and tried to calm down. It must've been a misunderstanding of some kind. Right?
You tried to convince yourself. You haven't heard from Alexia in a while, since she was still out because of the small injury. Maybe she got bored of you, she didn't want some stupid 20-year-old bothering her all the fucking time. Your head was just getting worse.
When you managed to calm down, you walked back to the locker room you saw that you were the last one there.
After a long day you had, you finally arrived home, you got into your apartment, locked your doors, and just left your training bag on the floor next to the door. You were too emotionally drained to go shower and too tired to go to the bedroom you found your couch and just laid down and just….stared at the ceiling.
At some point in the day, you fell asleep. You woke up the next day, and you were still too tired to move, you just sent a text to Jona that you weren't feeling well and that you wouldn't be attending training today. But you also realized that you didn't get any messages from anyone, literally nobody texted you. No one needed you.
You threw the phone away and continued with what you know best. Overthinking.
As you were just laying there, silent crying, the tears were just flowing out of your eyes, and you realized something.
YOU were the one who always checked up on others when they were missing from training. YOU were always the first one to text someone when you were planning something. YOU were always the one to make sure everyone got home safe after a night out.
That's right there.
That right there was what you kids these days call, your last straw. Your thirteenth reason.
At the Barça's training grounds, Alexia finally got back to train with the team, and she was really happy and excited about it. She greeted everyone on the way to the locked room. When she walked into the locker room, everyone cheered, like the queen just walked in…which she is.
The first question she asked was „Where's y/n?“ that made everyone look around and see that you indeed weren't there.
„Oh, shit, I knew that something was missing here, “Lucy said. After that everyone got on the field and Jona said that you weren't feeling well. Everyone just nodded with understanding but Alexia didn't buy it. Something wasn't right. You never miss training, even when you don't feel good.
At your apartment, you made progress... you went from the couch to the floor, since you always loved laying or sitting on the floor because it was comfortable. Still thinking how you're worthless and that no one wants you to be here. You finally took your phone and scrolled through social media, where were all the photos and videos posted from the team hangout. You saw how much fun they had... without you.
They were better off…without you.
You were a burden.
You saw the recent stories that everyone posted. Even Alexia. But still not one message.
The training finished and Alexia drove straight to your apartment. Fortunately, it wasn't far from the training grounds or her apartment, so she arrived pretty fast.
She walked up to the door and knocked. No answer. That made her knock a little louder.
„Y/n, please open up I know you can hear me.“ Alexia begged.
The knocking and the yelling made you snap out of it. You stood up and slowly walked to the door. You opened them but not fully.
„What are you doing here, Alexia?“ you asked tiredly. You didn't know how to feel about this visit.
„Um, are you gonna let me in or will I have to let myself in?“ she asked with a raised eyebrow.
You just sighed and moved to open the doors fully and let her in. When she walked in, she took a look around your place and then turned back to you and actually at your appearance.
„Are you okay? Are you sick? What's the matter?“ she asked with all seriousness. Every person who looks into her eyes can see that she cares, but not your eyes or your head.
„Why do you care?“ you said with a scoff and walked towards the living room.
That comment made Alexia confused. Why wouldn't she care?
„Of course, I care. You never miss a training even when you're not feeling well, you would attend a training. Even though I sometimes disagree with that you're stubborn“
„Sure you do.“
„Y/n, what is this about? Why are you acting like this?“
„ACTING LIKE WHAT, ALEXIA? Tell me, acting like fucking what?!“ you threw it at her. It took her by surprise, she didn't expect this from you.
„Don't yell at me! I'm your captain, and I ne- „
Of course, Alexia fucking Putellas!! Captain of FC Barcelona. Only cares about her team and the reputation of her team and that HER team makes HER look good in front of everyone else. She's always „busy“ with, so-called captain duties, that she can't even text me, or answer her phone when I call her. ESPECIALLY WHEN I NEED HER THE MOST!!“ you were just spitting everything out. It made you feel good. You couldn't stop, for once you made yourself feel better.
„ I'm so fucking tired Alexia…Why am I such a burden to you? Do you not like me or something? What did I do to you that made you hate me so fucking much? If I bother you so much, you should just tell me. Also, the whole fucking team hates me. I thought that for once I could say that I belonged somewhere, but no. I'm always the second choice or the third most of the time the last choice. No one wants me in this team…I'm a terrible player, I'll never be like you or Mariona or Caro.“ You broke totally. You started to sob. Alexia couldn't watch you like this, she wanted to help you and the first thing she thought of was to pull you in the biggest hug.
When you felt her arms around you, you broke down completely. She held you for a good while, her shirt stained from your tears, she couldn't care less.
You finally stopped shaking and calmed down. When you you were ready, Alexia pulled away but not totally. She put her hands on your shoulders and made you look at her, so you hear her out.
„First of all, I want to apologize for not checking up on you more often, especially now since I understand you're having a hard time. I would also like to apologize for not answering your calls but I have really been busy and I was planning on calling you back I just forgot. Second of all, if I ever hear you talk like that about yourself I'll personally kick your ass,“ as she was telling you this, you finally managed to look at her. You saw her eyes a little glassed because of her tears.
„I see you as my little sister, you're not a burden, y/n. And I want you to remember that. I don't know what made you think that but I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. And also if you want I can talk to the team about that but I can tell you for sure that everyone adores you.“ You listened to her and tried to trust the words that she was saying but your head was a little louder.
„ And I also wanted to say, you'll never be like Mariona, Caro, or me. You'll be way better than us combined, especially if you continue to work as hard as you do now. I idolize your hard-working habits.“ She finished her speech. And you believed her. For once, you think you have someone who will hear you out when you have this kind of episode.
„Do you mean that?“ you asked her hesitantly.
„Yes, I do. And when next time you feel like this, I want you to come to me. Even if I'm busy, I'll make time for you.“ She said and gave you a small smile.
You smiled back at her and pulled her in a hug. You needed one after a few very emotional days.
„Now, will you tell me what made you feel this way?“ she said while pulling away.
You rubbed your neck nervously while trying to form a normal sentence.
„Well, um, I sometimes have these episodes when I get really into my head and just think little of myself. Also, some events from my past just encourage those episodes to come out. And also when I saw some pictures online from the other day from your place…it just made it worse“ you told her.
„Okay, when another episode of this is about to come out, let me know. And what do you mean the picture from my place?“
„Well I heard that there was some kind of a team hangout at your place and I wasn't invited and my fear of missing out was getting the best of me…it made my episode worse“
„Ooh that hangout out“Alexia chuckled after that „It wasn't a real hang out, it was kinda spontaneous because my sister got engaged and she's friends with most of my teammates so we just celebrated at my place.“
You face palmed yourself. Alexia just laughed at you. You couldn't believe yourself right now.
„ It's alright, hermanita. Don't be so hard on yourself“ Alexia tried to comfort you.
„Thank you, Ale. So much, and I'm sorry for bothering you with my shit..again“
„Don't have to thank me, just score my goals for my team so it makes me look good as captain in front of everyone“ she teased you.
„oh god, I don't know how that came out of my mouth, I'm so sorry“ you apologized.
Alexia just laughed at your, „You don't have to say sorry for everything, it's okay you were emotional and you needed to take it out on someone“
You were thankful that Alexia was this understanding. Younger you wouldn't believe you if you told her that you're crying in front of Alexia Putellas and she's comforting you.
„If you don't mind me asking. What exactly happened in the past that made it so bad?“ she asked with a curious look
„If I start now I won't stop until tomorrow. It's a long story“
„Oh, would you look at that I'm free today. So start from the beginning.“
And so you did. You told her everything, from A to Z. You finally opened up to someone after a long time. And it felt good. It made it easier because Alexia was call, patient, and understanding. After that you were more open with everyone and communicated way more than before.
But if it weren't for Alexia, you'd probably be still lying on that floor and staring at the ceiling.
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findyourlovely · 3 days
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Lots of speculation on when these two fell in love in the original timeline— here’s my personal head canon:
Michonne falls for Rick when he kills the claimers. I always felt like this was true and when Danai confirmed it I just knew I could trust their vision with the new spinoff. I started shipping Richonne together in the “must’ve been something else” era but I wasn’t actually expecting AMC to have the balls to follow through. but Michonne’s “you’re okay because I’m okay” moment sparked the hope that this relationship was really happening, just off the symbolism of what this moment meant for her.
She’s never felt like she had someone who could step up to protect her but Rick fully proves himself in that episode. That is a man who would do anythinggggg to protect his family. She doesn’t judge him, she understands he did what was necessary. And after the way she lost Andre, she could never trust her heart to a man unless he had that level of grit to protect his own.
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I think she’s consciously aware of her love for him as they entered those gates at Alexandria. She doesn’t tend to initiate physical contact with Rick, but this moment with him and the kids in the car is an exception. This is her recognizing exactly how hard this journey has been for Rick and she knows that he did it anyway. For her. He lets her lead him into the future and she’s starting to wonder if it could be one where maybe they build something together for real(it’s already real she’s literally a mother to his kids and his closest confidant and he stares at her ass at every opportunity).
Ricks shenanigans with Jessie set things back but I still think she already knew her own feelings. It’s just not something she would let herself really think about until they’re in a stable place.
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I think for Rick, he starts to fall in love with her after she tracks them back in S4. I don’t think he knows it yet but the way he slid down that door in happiness cannot ever be anything but loverboy behavior. This man is elated to see her and 100% would have been okay just staying holed up in that house indefinitely. She makes Carl laugh. And the next day he straight up asks her to commit to coparenting with him, so clearly Rick isn’t trying to risk a separation ever again. Michonne’s presence restores his hope. And he loves watching her sweet relationship with Carl.
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Rick consciously understands the depth of his feelings for her outside those gates of Alexandria(or in the moments leading up to it). Because that man would have never walked into that community if not for Michonne’s sake(not even mentioning the 100 mile march to get there). He knows that well enough to tell her so! And now he tells her he’s struggling with how “the rules keep changing” in part because he knows she’s the one he wants to let in, and the implications of pursuing that are monumental for him and his kids. Who else matters enough for this much self reflection?
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Ofc we have to wait for Rick to deal with his PTSD rebound first, but the foundation is right here. These two were already it for each other, they just needed to feel safe enough to lean into it.
Y’all let me know if your timeline is any different.
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ironborealis · 23 hours
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"I take Anakin Skywalker as my Padawan learner." The words rip themselves from his throat before he even has time to think them.
He's not cut out to be a Master, he knows this. The Council knows --
"It wasn't even ten years ago, as I recall, that you swore before the Council that you'd never take a Padawan again." Mace's eyebrow rises with skepticism, as he looks to the other council members for the confirmation that he doesn't actually need.
Qui-gon remembers perfectly what he said then.
"Much fear, I sense in the boy -- and long time it has been since the responsibility for a Padawan you have had." Yoda adds, eyeing both Anakin and himself with skeptical eyes.
"The boy must be taught." He insists, digging his heels in, something that only works with the Council a little over half the time.
"We're wandering off topic," Depa announces, breaking off the silent stalemate between himself and his grandmaster. "If Qui-gon is right and he did encounter a Sith on Tatooine and is targeting the Queen, then Qui-gon must go with her back to Naboo." Depa's lips purse momentarily as she scrolls through her data padd. "Knight Muln is an excellent pilot, the obvious choice for your second during the attempt to negotiate between the Trade Federal and Naboo -- but if this is a Sith, you'll need a second much more skilled in combat against other lightsaber users --" The corner of her lip curls upward with pleased surprise that sours Qui-gon's stomach because there are only a few possibilities -- "Fortunately, it seems that Knight Kenobi is available to join you for this mission."
"Absolutely not --"
"Why not? Knight Kenobi is a skilled duelist, and if anyone could help give us an accurate assessment of your readiness to take on a Padawan, then surely it would be your own lineage brother." Knight Kenobi's ability to assess Anakin's suitability as a future Padawan goes unsaid in Mundi's harrumph.
He's not seen the boy -- the man? -- since he left him on Bandomeer, after the boy had helped him defuse the bombs (had offered his own life to help him escape), in order to pursue Xanatos.
He'd sent a message to his estranged master after he departed, urging him to take the boy on as a Padawan, ignoring the fact that his master's own Padawan had fallen only a few months earlier.
It shames him now to think that the fall of Xanatos all those years ago has left him mired in such grief that to this day he feels unready to take another Padawan; yet he had been quick to throw a child at his own master, no matter their strained relationship, whose own wounds at the time were more recent.
"Then it's decided: Knight Kenobi will accompany you and the Queen to Naboo in order to confirm the your sighting of the Sith and assist in defending the Queen." Mace looks pleased as he makes his announcement.
Qui-gon has a bad feeling about this.
///***///
Anakin is frustrated (NOT angry!) and confused, as they stop briefly at Mr. Qui-gon's quarters (so small, so full of green) and the "quartermaster" to get supplies and fresh underclothes for Anakin.
The Council doesn't want him to join the Jedi because he's too old and too angry (too powerful?).
Mr. Qui-gon seems to have summoned an Idiot's Array from thin air by declaring Anakin as his Padawan, forcing the Council to accept him.
The Council has decided upon adding yet another test, for both him and Mr. Qui-Gon, involving a brother of Mr. Qui-gon's -- even though Jedi aren't supposed to have families...
He'd ask Mr. Qui-gon, but the man is in a mood that Anakin knows from hard experience to avoid in Masters. Whether that rule also applies to Jedi Masters Anakin is unsure and not eager to find out.
When they arrive at the dock where the Queen's ship is moored, there is only a Jedi standing stiffly in front of the gangplank. This must be Knight Kenobi.
Knight Kenobi appears human, and seems to present as male. His hair is much lighter than Qui-gon's, a dark sand-like color with a red tinge that hangs around his chin. He's short -- at least compared to Mr. Qui-gon who is very tall. His face is rounder and his eyes much grayer than Mr. Qui-gon. Some of that may be because Knight Kenobi is so much younger than Mr. Qui-gon -- like at least half his age.
They must have different fathers.
"Master Jinn," Knight Kenobi bows to Mr. Qui-Gon, and Mr. Qui-gon makes a face like he just took a drink of black melon milk as he nods in response. "Mr. Skywalker," Knight Kenobi turns and gives him a smaller box.
Anakin doesn't know what is stranger -- being called 'mister' or be *bowed* to of all the things.
"Knight Kenobi." Anakin makes a clumsy attempt at the bow Knight Kenobi gave Mr. Qui-gon. It's not like a slave's bow at all - the Jedi bow is all straight lines and sharp angles instead of the curved back and hunched shoulders that he's used to. It feels so unnatural.
When he comes back up there's a sparkle in Knight Kenobi's eyes, like he might be laughing at Anakin -- but as much as Anakin would like to tell him off, he knows that his future with the Jedi will depend on gaining Knight Kenobi's good opinion, so he'll hold his tongue.
"You and Mr. Qui-gon are brothers?" Slips out of his mouth instead before Anakin can stop it.
"Yes," Knight Kenobi says, at the same time Mr. Qui-gon says, "No."
Mr. Qui-gon gives Knight Kenobi a hard look before he marches up the gangplank and disappears into the ship. Anakin knows he should follow the man, but frustration (...and anger?) he feels from Mr. Qui-gon make him freeze in place instead.
He's been so busy worried about impressing the Council and now Knight Kenobi, that he's never considered what might happen to him if he upsets Mr. Qui-gon. Can a Jedi Master reject a Padawan?
Knight Kenobi has turned his head to watch Mr. Qui-gon leave. Then he, shockingly, crouches down until he's at eye level with Anakin. There's a slight smile Knight Kenobi's lips, but it doesn't reach his eyes, which are hard to read but maybe look sad?
"It's complicated; nothing for you to be concerned with." Knight Kenobi says.
The man stands back up, his grin growing a bit broader, a bit faker.
"Now, as we are the last two to board, we had best hurry before the Queen and Miss Padmé decide to leave us behind," Knight Kenobi's voice is cheerful as he steps to stand alongside Anakin and gestures towards the gangplank.
Padmé would never leave him behind. He's not so sure about Knight Kenobi though.
Knight Kenobi lets out a soft snort that's almost like laughter -- but Anakin is sure he didn't say anything this time -- can the Jedi really read minds?
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lunar-years · 1 day
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The horrifying fandom takes and theories it's generated aside, one of things I really love about Ted Lasso is the way it handles motherhood/babies/the future for its two main female characters. Like, on the one hand is Rebecca who so obviously and vocally has always wanted to be a mother, but married someone who didn't feel the same way and put her own desires aside for his, then had that fact thrown back in her face years later after he's abused and divorced her and gotten another woman pregnant.
A big part of Rebecca's arc is the constant frustration of having to accept the hand life's dealt her even when it's the opposite of everything she'd always wanted for herself. She's someone who wanted to be a wife and wanted to be mother and then finds herself in middle age as neither of those things. Then she makes the decision to pursue it on her own (which was awesome, I love that they showed her going to the fertility clinic and inquiring about whether pregnancy was a possibility for her! there's not way to become a mother!) and then she has to face her inability to get pregnant. And it sucks! but as sad as that is, it's also very...real? And the show doesn't miraculously let her have a miracle pregnancy anyway (like stupider shows would do, tbh), but instead has Rebecca come to terms with herself and her life under its new circumstances. She finds purpose outside of the things she once thought she would be and the roles her younger self assumed she would play as an adult. By the final episode, she's calling Richmond her family! She's realized what she wants most is the stay at the Club. She's come into her own. And then, yeah, there's the little ambiguous opening of Matthijs and his daughter and her possible future there with them--but importantly it isn't the end all to her happiness, anymore. It's a sign that she still has opportunities, just maybe not in the way she first envisioned, that no doors have closed forever and that what she's been looking for might come from unexpected places. there's no timeline!
And then you have Keeley, who's in her 30s and focused on her career and still figuring out how she wants that to look and who she wants to be. And yeah she's dating, and she has a serious onscreen relationship, but the topic of children (or marriage for that matter) never even once comes up! It's not made some big arc about how she doesn't want those things, and it's not some big fight with Roy or a goofy "really, you've never thought about babies?' conversation with Rebecca, it's just never something that's made relevant to her character nor her growth! She's a whole person without those things and she's clearly not actively pursuing them. And these two women with very different goals and wants are completely supportive of one another--it's never even a question :)
I thought both of their storylines in that sense were very refreshing to see on TV and like, comforting? If anything, the discourse it's spawned has been very...eye-opening...about how conditioned people have become to expect traditional marriage and babies storylines from every single female character. But the show doesn't give in to that mentality and instead shows that there's not one way a family has to look and not one way to be a mother and there isn't a set timeline for any of this stuff even if later you change your mind. And then if things don't turn out how you think, it doesn't mean you aren't going to end up with a good life! that was such a good message.
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Why didn't anyone tell me you could find awesome shit I've never even thought of by googling "calming sensory autism ___"?? I'm about to be so fucking chilled out
#i dont have an official diagnosis and dont think ill ever pursue one but knowing i can google and buy stuff like the stim toys and white#noise machine i just saw without taking anything from ppl who might need them more...its so excellent#not to self infantilize as an asian fem and probably autism haver but i knkw most of these things are labelled as being for kids#however i think having a mortgage and a job where i save lives for 12 hours a shift cancels out how bad i want the autism tent for babies#also buying it with my adult ass salary#my bf needs to stop joking about building us the autism box from nathan for you unless he plans to actually help me build one bc like. boy.#id never come out#he knows if we had one id help with meals even less and also we would#actually i was gonna say 'never have sex again' but thats so untrue. id only want to fuck in the sensory friendly cube#hed get exactly what he wants (low effort sex in a bed)#to clarify i keep asking for and instigating acrobatic sex in the kitchen and his office#he wants to be fully horizontal for sex and im going to start setting limits on what percent of our sex is gonna be half asleep like that#i also want to complain about how he wants to go to the gym but doesnt want to have more sex. whats he gonna do when i put#him on the smith press? hes never been in a gym before im pretty sure and despite my looks i have enough experience w gyms#to know theyre a huge rip off if youre not going there to specifically body build on specific machines#i can do my ab routine at home with my weights and my mat that isnt full of mrsa#idk what he likes to do but this is so he can find something for his upper body (not biking)#and in my personal opinion? the best upper body exercise i ever got was carrying my gf around during sex#she was easier to grab than i am bc im like an oiled sock full of batteries and she was kind of like the grip-ability and density#of a stuffed animal#*not just more sex but more physically involved sex#he wouldnt be mad about more sex though and neither would i but im the only one who wants to do cirque du soleil shit during it
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year
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I will walk down to the end with you / If you will come all the way down with me.
#B'Elanna Torres#B'Elanna art#B'Elanna#-thinks so hard about B'Elanna's self image issues and about how Tom Paris could be baked into an apple pie he oozes so much All American#Charm and about how B'Elanna was literally ready to break up with Tom because she felt he wasn't committed to her emotionally#and didn't prioritize her needs/wants and when she tried to bring it up he didn't address any of that and instead just asked her to marry#him and she said yes bc it's what she wanted wasn't it? But also thinks about how getting married solves literally 0 of their problems bc#that wasn't the issue - and how they never REALLY talked about the issue she had and the proposal seemed more like a desperate attempt to#hold onto her and B'Elanna's acceptance was her tightening her grip as well and thinks about how the solution to Tom not prioritizing#B'Elanna was framed as B'Elanna trying to do what Tom wanted and about how B'Elanna blames her mother entirely for her father abandoning#them - how she blames SPECIFICALLY the fact that her mother was too Klingon and about how Tom blames the fact that he never showed how much#he cares about/is committed to B'Elanna on the fact that she has 'that tough Klingon exterior' and how her response is#'do I look that tough right now?' and about how B'Elanna associates Klingon features so strongly with negativity - unloveability - rejection#that she tries to erase her features from her daughter's face and make her Human which to her means Good and Beautiful and Loveable and#about how she STILL after all this time only wants her father to love her again. Thinks about fear of abandonment which makes you hold onto#something which doesn't work bc you can't bear to be alone or fail. If she said no to Tom's proposal who else would she have? And#doesn't it feel like a prize? Like you finally WON. The Human Prince wants to marry you - you're FINALLY good enough for someone to sign#a contract saying they'll never leave you. Even if they don't pay attention to you - even if they abandon you to pursue their own interests#every time something shinier comes up they'll never LEAVE and that's what you're the most afraid of. Thinks about the fear of being too much#and too klingon and about how B'Elanna told Tom it was okay he forgot their romantic getaway even though she took so much time to plan it#and was so excited for it because she didn't want to spoil his fun (is being with her work?) and about how she still remembers that little#human boy who pointed at her forehead ridges and called her 'turtlehead' until she beat him so viciously they had to pull her off him#Thinks about all of those things VERY hard and EXPLODES-#bea art tag#st voyager#st voyager art#CHARACTER. OF. ALL. TIME.
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hecksupremechips · 3 months
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RE danganronpa not having the best writing I was talking to a friend the other day about v3 about how it sucks that they set up Kaede to be the protagonist but then killed her off because while yes, Shuichi is a very good protagonist and he’s the only one that really gets interesting character development, Kaede could have so easily been an insanely interesting protagonist if she got to live because she has plenty of room to grow since she’s very clearly scared shitless and is deeply insecure about her ability to motivate and lead the group, but she smiles through it and lies about her feelings so much that the player doesn’t even know about her creating an elaborate murder scheme. And I realized that the way to keep her as a protagonist is for there to be a way that the first trial ends and someone else is found to be the killer (for example it could be Tsumugi if she weren’t the mastermind, or maybe someone else was in the library and killed Rantaro) and they get executed and thats that. Then at the end of the chapter we get a scene where Kaede is alone in her room and sighs in relief as it’s revealed that she hatched an elaborate plan to kill the mastermind but she wasn’t found guilty, either because she wasn’t the actual killer or because she was being protected by the mastermind. And so we the player have to proceed with the new knowledge that Kaede not only wanted to kill someone, she actually went through with a whole plan to kill someone and we didn’t even know about it and neither did any of the characters. And Kaede is on edge because on one hand she has to live with the fact that she was perfectly okay becoming a killer and that she failed to kill the mastermind so the game is going to continue and someone else was unlucky and got executed instead of her,but on the other hand she’s relieved that she wasn’t the one who died and that she was given another chance to find the true mastermind and no one has to know what she did. And as the game progresses it gets more and more stressful for her because she tries to keep up the positive energy but she’s living with this massive secret and she can’t let anyone find out about what she did and she finds herself still wanting to kill the mastermind so we the player don’t know how much we can trust Kaede anymore since she’s lying to everyone including us and she can very well kill again if she wants to
#danganronpa#kaede akamatsu#of course we couldnt have something like this happen cuz yay misogyny killed kaede and also like mentioned#dr doesnt have good enough writing to pull this off lol#yttd is at least able to pull something similar off with sara so at least i have that but still god like can you IMAGINE#how good v3 wouldve been if it had done this and like what i think is really fun is like#shuichi figuring it out cuz you know he would hed know in the first trial but in this version doesnt say anything#and he doesnt have to cuz kaede conveniently isnt the culprit#but like now hes stuck with this knowledge that she so easily couldve been#and you know shuichi is just like that last person shed want to know about this#but shed also be eaten alive by guilt from keeping it from him cuz she trusts him most and was the one encouraging him to pursue the truth#even if its unpleasant#so i like to imagine one of two scenarios like either shuichi eventually confronts kaede about this after shes become a bit more corrupt#and he plans to tell and shes forced to kill him to keep her secret#or a scenario where shuichi chooses to protect kaede over the truth and he becomes her accomplice#both scenarios would fuck up kaede quite a bit#and then i guess itd be really interesting to see if she becomes more and more corrupt and eventually does get executed#or if she owns up to her mistakes and decides to reveal her truth that shes actually fucking terrified#and she doesnt have as much control as she wants to and she has no clue if its gonna be okay#i think that would fit so good with the truth/lie theme too#goddddd like im so mad now cuz this is just like so good like why cant dr just be good its so easy
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croc-odette · 2 months
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fast forwarding past the claire scenes and realizing they are so long. in a show where everything moves at a pretty fast clip why do we need to drag ass during this weird cliched girl next door fantasy
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piningprecussionist · 2 months
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jason kim your ex is on tumblr now https://www.tumblr.com/thesushiguyy
Who...?
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Oh. The guy from Ushi Bar, right.
We never really dated? He did help me move my stuff to Hollie's place though- that was... nice of him.
#ooc: current blog canon has decanonized him and kim as an item! unless they want to interact w me and have an ideas on how I can Fix That#ooc: it was more convenient for doing the hollie interactions. the way im currently imagining things is that Kim's beef with Hollie is less#+ a legitimate backstabbing/betrayal and more Kim being put off/a little jealous of the fact that people who expressed an interest in her +#+continually will also go for Hollie and will actually pursue her more actively than they would Kim#ooc: so like. if i was leaning more on SPTO canon. stuff like roxie's comment after their kiss would probably have made her a Mega Bitch +#+ to Hollie the next time she saw her despite them not interacting. does this make sense?#ooc: anyhow at a glance it looked like they were running some jason/ken bit currently#ooc: so yeah. the way ive been thinking about it so far Kim just knows Jason as a guy who expressed an interest in her when she'd show up +#+to get something on lunch break- which she was considering seriously... until she brought Hollie along one day and saw how he was ogling +#+her by comparison. Kim was upset but less about Jason himself and more just “what the hell am I? dirt?”#ooc: i am super open to reworking this since im not 100% happy with it but it's just. the way things work best I guess with the Kimona stuf#ooc: ALSO. I have her call it the Ushi Bar because the S is always out. she refuses to call it Sushi Bar again until they fix it.#pine.txt#asks#anon#rp#kim pine#sp comic#spvtwtg#spto#spvtw#(now to go reblog their intro I suppose!)#(ooc: also. processing that you d i d give me the opportunity to put this in separate continuity... but since this is their first mention +#(+ here and this change is relatively recent for blog canon I don't want to confuse anyone)#((ooc: ALSO... he IS brought up for the first time just after the Knives kiss right? man was a shield. that's my thoughts on that.))#thesushiguyy#jason kim#((ooc: also that jealousy thing WOULD effect more than just Hollie. it's just that it happens more frequently with her than anyone else))#?#(unsure if i may change the formatting for this to make it roadtrip compliant)
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annoyed far in advance knowing they pull some Actually She Secretly Had Feelings The Whole Time shit in s7 w jadzia and julian bc the scenes with them here in equilibrium (and i imagine plenty of other ones between here and there) with a sense of awkward shared understanding that his crush isn't reciprocated and it's fine and they can lean on each other/have some sort of intimacy without it being particularly weird are NICE
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feluka · 1 year
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‘it’s okay to make mistakes’ is something i know is true but have a hard time accepting as the truth when my professor is a piece of bitch
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interstatetowns · 7 months
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I have got to (got to got to) film my BB26 audition tape soon.
I already have it planned out in my head, I just need to rope someone into filming me for a little bit
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theheadlessgroom · 1 year
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https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/710019365046763520/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride
@beatingheart-bride
“​I don’t think it’s silly at all,” he smiled, delighted to know that she had enjoyed the show (even if it was simply the orchestra) as much as he had, as well as admiring her desire to see what he and the rest of the audience saw during a performance. “It’s wonderful to watch-I-I would enjoy watching an opera with you, were we ever afforded that chance.”
What with her being the leading lady now (and would hopefully be the leading lady in many, many productions to come; he had a feeling her future as the opera’s star was within reach), the opportunity for both Randall and Emily to sit down and watch a show together seemed not quite in the cards at the moment (not unless Emily could be in two places at once), but he still liked to imagine that, someday, she would be afforded that chance. Under what circumstances he did not know, but it was a day he liked to think was possible.
And what a day that would be! The two of them, seated in Box Five together, watching and enjoying the show in their own private box in their evening best...perhaps he would see about getting them some fancy chocolates to enjoy during the show, or something to drink (he wasn’t a fan of any of the alcohols available in the café; he’d tasted a few out of curiosity and decided very quickly that they were not for him, instead favoring sparkling, non-alcoholic ciders and the like instead)…she would have the best seat in the house, and he would have the best company...
(He wished most of all, however, that Emily could see what he saw on opening night, when she made her grand debut: He wished he could see how magical she would be onstage, how she would wow the audience with her beautiful voice and emotional performance...she could see how amazing she really, truly was, how gifted she was as a performer!)
“What opera would you most like to see?” Randall asked her curiously, brows raising in interest behind the mask.
#((you make a great point; and i agree! i don't think that randall would be nearly as enamored as he is here))#((were he to have a normal; more stable upbringing; but i also feel like he'd still be very keen on music))#((enough to want to pursue a career in it-i see wilhelm as being fairly musical himself; as he plays the harpsichord))#((and so it just gets me thinking about that fondness for music rubbing off on randall and inspiring him! it might not be the same passion))#((as he has here in this 'verse but i feel like; in a kinder world; he'd still love music; enough to seek out the opera))#((and meet emily as a result!))#((as for his face...i'm not sure! obviously june and wilhelm would work hard to make randall feel confident in himself))#((and not let anyone get him down because of how he looks; but i could see him wearing something when out in public))#((maybe some sort of prosthetics a'la that one-shot we did; where he devised a makeup/prosthetics to wear))#((so that he could go out with emily and the twins? i'm just spitballin' but maybe that'd be his workaround!))#((and true; it is kinda funny! but honestly emily will ALWAYS bring out the pace's parental sides; regardless of how old she is))#((or what she is! vampire? yup! siren? yup!))#((...actually now i'm thinking about little emily meeting little randall at gracey manor when june was working there))#((and june feeling just as maternal towards her as she does towards dorian!))#((don't know if that's an au we would ever do but it just popped into my head and i just imagine little randall being smitten))#((with little emily; just the way little dorian is smitten with little elizabeth!))#outofhatboxes#beatingheart-bride#V:Phantasm of the Mansion
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lunar-years · 1 year
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Least favorite thing about swifties is how many of you hear lines like “all they keep asking me is if I’m gonna be your bride / only kind of girl they see is a one night or a wife” and “storm coming / good husband, bad omen / Dragged my feet right down the aisle” and then continue to constantly speculate about whether she’s engaged, married, has matching rings with Joe, is going to leave music to start a family, even wants to have kids in the first place…. Like I don’t know how many more ways Taylor can tell you she hates these sorts of speculations and it is none of our business before you will start to understand!
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coldnutparadise · 2 years
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john as a morph: [picks up a stick and waves it around] everybody: that’s john.
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