#and it's like ok so you reach out first!
Text
everyone is always distancing themselves from me and i cant help but feel like im just deeply pathetic
#3/6 of my close friends from hs haven't talked to me. like talked to me properly in months#i havent hung out with 2 of them in a year#and the third one and i hung out TWICE this year#in 2022 we hung out like 8 times or something#i get that theyre busy but theyre not too busy to make new friends and travel and party?#so theyre just too busy for me.#and it's like ok so you reach out first!#and I've tried and failed#the conversations are so dry. the plans always fall through because something comes up#why does everyone always LEAVE#and its like 'always' is very black and white because the 3 remaining close friends haven't left#yet.#they haven't left yet but they probably will too!#and it's like ok well thats jumping to a conclusion. second unhelpful thinking style.#but then what about my parents? what about them when they find out im gay and kick me to the curb?#what about my older sister who'll sneer and glare at me in disgust like she has in the past?#what about my younger sister who needs to think about her own financial situation and will obviously side with my parents?#i was born and my life has been a tragedy since i took my first breath because my mother didn't want me and my father was disappointed#z.post
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂
#rain world#comic#rw chasing wind#sunlit Trail#Hunter#Art#Chasing wind spoilers#I can't imagine anyone filters that tag but just in case sksksks#ANYWAYS turns out mod is way better than I expected and it's super well made.#So far made the trip as hunter (first time) then riv and now working on arti.#For arti I realized that howling rifts led to sub and sub led to dar shore so I was like sweet! A shortcut!#Now imagine for a sec trying to get through a parkcore + miros bird gauntlet with a corpse and a worm within 5 cycles#before the scav ran out of karma and you were stuck inside forever. Yeah#Besides that tho I've been messing around and been very tenderly modding the game.#Turns out you can have a bit of fun with most sprites without too much effort by simply cloning the MSC mod in your files#Then changing the copy's mod info so it doesn't clash and simply swapping images out for whatever you want#As long as you have the sprite name you can do this. You can also change region names and decals and music all sorts of stuff.#In short I've been brewing a custom mod for a friend to make her suffer as much as possible <3#Thanks to a buddy on the rw server for showing me that trick btw lol. The best cesspool I've ever participated in#Oh before I forget- the symbol on CW's head is completely made up. They just looked so... Bald.#Tbh I wasn't expecting their personality to be so... bright? Most interpretations make them kinda solemn and gloomy#But nah this CW is what NSH should've been 100%. I like them. Not gonna spoil too much but their situation is somehow so... chill.#Still bad tho!#Other fun news! There's a scammer going around on discord that's basically like ''bad news I reported you for fraud''#And they're getting a lot of people. My buddy that owned my home server got hit and we lost everything. It's all OK tho nobody was hurt#I keep trying to ask them questions on my alts but they're ignoring me... I kinda wanna bait them into doing the scam with me#to see how far I get before they catch on 😜#Wasting a scammer's time is never a waste of time#Ah I had more to say but I reached my tag max. Till next time- hopefully my animation project will be done by then!
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway in an absolutely wild turn of events I think I’m free of my hideous job and like. substantially richer for it??? lmao 2023 you really owed me
#ok so this a lot of personal shit but I’m just gonna incredulously vent into the tags#like I don’t even know how to describe what 2023 in this job has been like lol#since April they’ve been insulting and scrutinising and scapegoating me over absolutely everything#they were really angling for just firing me outright for never measuring up to their constantly shifting and increasingly bizarre goalposts#and it got so personal man they kept insisting that it wasn’t but my god#then my dad gets sick and it suddenly becomes awkward for them to keep insulting and overworking me#so they switch to just ignoring me entirely so they don’t have to reckon w what me and my family are going through#like they never ask how he is or how things are going just every Friday they say hey do you reckon you can take more work on again?#and THEN I get a gut infection and suddenly im being guilt tripped for taking sick leave and pestered for evidence#it was giving like ‘we had to give you time off for your dad but now you’re taking the piss’#to the point I DID reach out to a third party at the company and was like ‘I’m sorry but why the fuck are they treating me like this’#and she was like ‘confidentially this is disgusting and I advise you to report it’#WHEN SUDDENLY I get back from sick leave and it’s like ‘the business is falling short so we have to make some redundancies….’#and now they’ve had to pay me a SUBSTANTIAL sum to fuck off!!! I think I win???#like I was so close to quitting but thank god I didn’t because now I’m getting a sweet deal to fuck off with no notice lmao#i leave end of the month#at first I was shocked like y’all really doing this now??? but suddenly I’m like. this is the best possible thing that could’ve happened#I spoke to that third party again and she was like ‘I am so happy for you’ like omfg it was a curveball but we’ll take it!!!#I’m fucking outta here and in due course I WILL be writing on glassdoor how fucked they are
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
my brain rewarded me for working hard, last night I had a dream about aki sex ❤️
#thank you brain. I am thankful#kinda struggling to remember the bits and pieces#I remember that first I had a dream I was at work and had to clean#but then my dream flashed to me with aki#I'm pretty sure we did something together before the seggs??? but I don't remember that part at all??????#there were more important things to remember ok#we were in my room and in my bed under the covers#and he was behind me and holding me tight like spooning yknow#I also specifically remember his hair was still in topknot mode lolol#we were both nakey and it felt really real cause I could feel him against me...#I felt his chest rising and falling on my back and his heart pounding hard#and I could hear like... his breathing in my ear.... and the plap plap sound everytime he...... HRK#my eye is twitching rn......#he reached around and grabbed my hand and held it tight#I remember him dirty talking a lot but it's hard to remember what he said#at one point I was like 'right there' and he was like 'yeah? right here?' and it was so hot hnnnnnnbgggggggg#last thing I remember is him telling me he wasn't gonna pull out#then I woke up like a zombie#you know when you feel yourself waking up and you know you are but it's a good dream so you don't want to and you have to fight ittttt#aki. I want. you
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack
#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS??#she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se#and she likes kpop and kdramas#but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still#but we were talking about something and oh my god#when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you#two will like each other#and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭#so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden#and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok#and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too?#but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then#she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual#THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling#my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face#to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay#but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut#up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying#we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it#and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭#now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny#she could tell everyone my parents could find out#but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me#and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be#friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids#and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad#so no harm#i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her#for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it#literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:
#‘why do you gatekeep hw from your irls?’ well. the thing is. i just ✨don’t want to✨#and. like. i’ve already led my family to believe that i bought bl manga when i was buying idol sengen at animate#so i think im already past the point of no return in that regard. so. um. yeah.#thank you village vanguard for the unexpected μ’s content in 2k24 you truly are yappa saikyou#i s w e a r falling back into my ll phase almost 10 whole years after i first got into it is unexpected tbh#compounded with the fact that i can now actually afford whatever im looking for. so. like. my wallet is in crisis lol#i had just reached my savings goal last month but now i’ve overspent bc i saw great deals on resold honoka-chan hoodies and i couldn’t help—#so now i have 2 identical hoodies lol. but i’ll keep one of them safe in its packaging bc im unwell like that ig#my merch whaling is out of control i s w e a r but my oshis are just too cute aaaaaaaaa#i probably should open another savings account instead… maybe that’d keep my spending under control…#b u t for now honoka-chan jersey im looking for you#tfw ur oshi is decently unpopular amongst the fans so hardly anyone resells her merch lmao#so ig the relatively fewer fellow fans she has are more dedicated to her than fans of other more popular characters lol#but at least her stuff (when resold) isn’t as overpriced as the actually popular members (birb and tomato)#so my wallet isn’t crying as hard as it could’ve been? ig? hunting for almost 10 year old merch is a pain fr though#either way. the grip idol series have on my wallet is truly insane#i wonder how many bags of chips i could’ve bought with the amount i’ve spent on hw and ll merch to date…#at least a thousand… i think. maybe even 2 thousand if my past gacha game whaling is taken into consideration…#…this is probably why it’s important to have a decent paying job ig.#oh well. at least i may be making b a n k this month with how much ot i’ve had to do this week so far…#i hope i won’t have to work till 5am again over the next 2 days… that had been a horrible experience.#help what am i even talking about anymore why am i having a life crisis right here and now u m.#anyways. dni if you dislike honoka-chan. thanks for coming to my crisis rant. see you when the last stage mv drops ig ok byeeeee
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t think hyeonseong needed to remember dokja’s order to think about him if something goes wrong. I think he’s just always thinking abt dokja
and I love him for that
#Loyal puppy man#going post#Orv#‘Hey can you hit me again? and do it really hard’ kinky#‘no wait. just kill me right now’ UM. I RESCIND THAT LAST STATEMENT.#I don’t remember what his new attribute is how is dokja gonna cheat death this time#HYEONSEONG CHARACTER PROGRESSION FUCKING FINALLY#I’ve missed him…. deprogram your military propaganda boy itll be good for you#‘There is no third option this time’ ok my first instinct was to take him at face value but dokja is always planning and scheming so#maybe he’s just saying that so hyeonseong will make his own third option out of determination.#to teach him to like… not rely on dokja so much#maybe not the best phrasing but I think u get my point#next episode and I’m immediately confirmed right. AWESOME but also#Would have been nice to have delayed that gratification for a bit#let me step into a side character’s pov for a moment instead of having dokja tell me everything#‘I thought you considered me the standard you should strive for. If so then do as I say!’ ‘That’s not the kind of book I want to go by!’#YEAHHHHH HYEONSEONG!!!! MAKE YOUR OWN BOOK! GET THAT CHARACTER GROWTH#‘I see. Well done.’ Dokja you want to be a constellation so bad#It’s already been confirmed tht that’s his goal but it’s been so obvious for a while#Like he keeps putting himself in mentor roles all the time. n constellations aren’t necessarily as close mentors as dokja has been#But they’re still essentially That#WAH HIS HANDS?? HUH???#yeah yeah uh huh I was right dokja was helping hyeonseong learn his lesson on his own also HIS HANDS?????#*HIS ARMS???* GUYS.#‘until the scenario reaches an apocalypse’ bestie ur already in an apocalypse#Ofmy god he has to melt and then cool down a thousand times? what the hell#HUIWON CHARACTER PROGRESSION TOO?? YIPPEE!!!!!#aww a hug……. Even though he must be fucking scorching hot…. How sweet ^_^#and hyeonseong was so polite too he’s such a sweetie#oh I was confused for a second but he literally snuffed the flame! smart
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
From a very young age, Kaeya held such a fondness for handholding. Whether it was his father clinging tightly to him to make sure he didn’t get lost, Adelinde’s gentle, grounding hand closed over his to comfort him whenever his nerves got the better of him, Crepus’s rough-palmed, firm yet comforting grip as he brought him back home, or, as it was most often of all, Diluc’s warm, yet at times uncomfortably tight hold as he dragged him anywhere, everywhere, determined to always keep Kaeya close and eagerly show him all there was to see, Kaeya treasured the gesture greatly.
Of course, being as shy as he was, initiating it himself was always the harder part. So much so, he would tend to hold pinkies, rather than outright take a person’s hand in his own. Eventually, it would become his most common way to go about the gesture of affection.
#hc; kaeya#//Handholding is one of his favorite ways of affection bc 1) it’s not too overwhelming when it comes to his touch aversion#//The sensation is all focused in one spot; and even then; it’s more grounding than uncomfortable bc of how firm people’s grasp tends to be#//He really took to holding pinkies bc he realized he could ‘test’ people that way#//If it was a bother to them; they wouldn’t blink twice before moving their hand from his hold. so rejection isn’t as BIG; more subtle#//And if they Liked it; they could either accept it as is or make him happier and take firmer hold of his hand#//Once he was more confident; he would go straight to more outright handholding. Klee ofc got that RIGHT from the getgo. Bc she is smol &#liked him from the start. Even if her Pyro energy did make him uncomfortable at first; but he got used to it. for her#//Luc made it easy to go right to it to—the kid would always seem to know when he wanted to hold hands for whatever reason and grabbed hold#before Kae could link pinkies. kae did like the fact that Luc would Pout the few times Kae did link pinkies instead of hold hands#//Pout; & snatch his hand firmly in his like ‘Why did you do that? THIS way’s better’. Love the image of bby!Kae grabbing bby!Luc’s sleeves#but lbr; they deffo held hands a lot as kiddos. Bc we all know just how (canonically) indulging Luc is with whatever Kae wants. Once Luc#//figured him out; it was a Very common sight; seeing Luc tromping around like the proud lil protector he was; & Kae scurrying after him#//Lil subtle delighted gleams in his eye compared to Luc’s more overt confidence and joy. So common a sight; it was no surprise that#Kae was Deffo distressed when Luc inevitably grew out of it. Adjusted; yeah; but the sudden Change was deffo NOT good for his nerves#//Clung to Addie a lot to make up for it; until he heard the maids tittering abt how childish he was being#//He quit that FAST; finding other ways to stave off his nerves and show his affection#//Sometimes when he’s drunk at Angel’s Share; he gets tempted to hold Luc’s hand—an old habit dredged back up bc he wants comfort#//But any sudden moves Luc makes; whether bc he noticed Kae reaching out or not; utterly scare the urge away every time#//He’s made his peace with Luc resenting him; but it still stings that the ONE person he felt closest to is now practically a Chasm away#//Not like he helps any with that; running away or lashing out every time Luc tries to bridge gaps or shows concern#//Sends him into fight or flight mode every time—who’s to say Kae won’t fuck it up and make a Luc regret trying?#//Might as well sabotage it all himself—at least THEN he knows with utmost certainty it will end failure. Whoops veered off topic#//The closer he is to someone; the more likely he ends up toying with their hands a bit—esp if Interested in them#//Likes playing with their fingers; linking; unlinking and slotting them together; tracing lines on their palms#//Cute shit like that. He likes seeing how they fit together; the differences in size and how they feel#//This was all bc I saw a detail from a show pointed out on the Twitter ndnfn. And thought the pinkie thing was SO cute. Anywho#//Hi. Shit happened irl & I am still not 100%. Not saying what bc it’s not a pleasant topic; but know I am ok#//Just a lil tired. But kinda wanna hcs for rn. I had a lil burst of energy earlier today. that was nice. Over a long dead show; no less#//But it helped lift my mood a bit. I still kinda wish I could drink rn tho. Think it’d help my brain rn
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls
#bnha spoilers#also. more evidence that horikoshi read zero-sum game#like come on the twins thing the izuku losing his quirk thing the losing his arm thing the shiggy getting decay from afo thing#TELL ME THE TRUTH HORIKOSHI. DID YOU READ MY FANFIC.#i'm joking of course. he's just done a really good job of foreshadowing through the series. its a marker of an amazing author#and i know that izuku probably won't lose both his arms and his quirk. i fully expect it to be a happy ending in some way shape or form#this is a sixteen year old boy who sacrificed EVERYTHING. more than he ever had to give#and he had less than a year. LESS THAN A YEAR.#sorry i'm already crying thinking about the scene of him holding shigaraki's hand even though it will decay him........#izuku who knows better than ANYONE what shigaraki's power can do.... reaching out to him. caring more about others than about himself.#he's just. he's so good. he's SO GOOD. he deserves the world#tbh i feel like eri HAS to be involved at this point. she's the deus ex machina in all this#that or overhaul#both of their abilities can at least physically restructure izuku's body#it would actually be a very interesting redemption point for overhaul.......#i mean WHY ELSE RESCUE HIM. and why give him THE SAME FUCKING INJURY#what a powerful thing it would be to have eri give overhaul his arms back#and overhaul learning about goodness and forgiveness from this girl he's done nothing but abuse and torture#and saves izuku........#its about ATONEMENT. its about GROWTH. its about IT NEVER BEING TOO LATE.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE YOU MY HERO ACADEMIA#... ok. i'm normal. its fine.#on another note#i loved the ending to my first bg3 run which i think i finished Tuesday/Wednesday. i cried.#IMMEDIATELY started a durge run where i'm playing a male human bard instead of the female half-wood elf ranger#i was like 'haha. i'll make a character based on hisoka from hxh! i'm gonna be SOOOO evil! >:))#and guess who still isn't good at being big evil. ME. at worst i'm probably chaotic neutral.#its wild i'm already finding SO MANY new scenes i missed on the first playthrough even though i'm making a lot of the same choices#so it still feels super fun and fresh. more so now because i kind of know the characters and the mechanics better#my current playthrough i'm with lae'zel shadowheart and asterion with no intention of switching out
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
mutuals...my beloved mutuals....I see you in my activities liking and rbing my posts but I don't see any of y'all in my inbox or in my dms❗️❗️
if you were waiting for a sign to say hi this is it ❗️❗️❗️
I think y'all are all way cooler than me and I will not reach out first </3
#my fellow bitches w social anxiety are welcome to rb this but i triple dog dare you to actually reach out and talk to someone today!!#i made my first discord server recently and it's been genuinely wonderful getting to chat with so many new people#it's been making me realize how much i want to talk to the people ive been mutuals with for like years now!!#you guys all seem so nice! and i never reach out to any of you !! and thats so sad !#im hyping myself up here if it wasnt obvious#anyways be my friend guys i promise im nice!! im just super cringe!!! guys!!!!#my post#ok to rb
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i <3 2fort forever yay ^__^
#had so many fun interactions today and also learnt how to group taunt :3 baby's first kazotsky kick#i'm a pyro main usually but since everyone was fucking around i decided to switch to medic to see how it is and had not one but TWO heavies#call for me and then killbind/explode upon reaching a certain point. one of them even head an enemy intel and was a-posing the entire time#<a-posing and spinning! even#we got to the intel room and he just turned back. went upstrairs. started eating a banana and then killbinded. never change heavies i love#you. the other one did the go kart taunt and then tried to taunt kill me?? we were on the same team. well and then he exploded#i already mentioned pyro sewer party that was super cute :3 also like my first group interaction. special moment not to get cheesy#AND. and. yet another heavy with a wilson weave tried to teach me how to group taunt. like y'know. do the conga together#<i was convinced i couldn't do it since i didn't have it unlocked and stuff but i could!!! thank you heavy :]#i hope they was me eventually figure it out. had no way to check since they were on the enemy team and that doesn't display names#sorry about the wall of text i'm just!!!! well i just had a lot of fun :]#people also kept standing in those little towers? like y'know blu team player jumps on a red player and then a blu jumps on top of that one#and bam. tower right. there was also one pyro who had the minion fit AND the sign with a minion picture as well#i'll never get those people who make those 'strange people of 2fort videos' like the fuck you mean strange. they're so fun#GOSH. sorry about the wall of text again anyways um. download the game and play on 2fort ok? super fun
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok i've been feeling under the weather (chronic, not covid) and i've been binge watching warrior cats infodumps/video essays and.... hhhhhh do I REALLY want to reread half the series to make a post about my leopardstar apologism?? becuse girlie deserved better and if she was written better she'd be everyone's favorite literal wet cat pathetic girlfail girlboss tragic character but nope. got vriska'd but like in a 'shallow without redeeming qualities' kinda way
#like ok let me go down the list of my unorganized opinions about her#<<long tags. also edit i talk about pokemon paul too i guess#this is barely even canon commentary because in canon she was a bitch who died of diabetes. this is me exploring her canon potential#first off. i just like her unique pattern#and i'm a riverclan stan#second. orphan who was raised by the village and adored and doted on#would inevitably lead to her feeling like she had to fulfill those expectations and setting high goals for herself#AND SHE REACHES THEM!!!!! she is motivated and strong and determined#but she's also iirc pretty young as a leader but age in wc is more of a crapshoot than even pokemon which. yikes lol#so. very young leader who has high expectations on her and also high expectations of herself#desperate to prove herself#and so. strong and iirc described as handsome tom comes along and manipulates her into joining his new megaclan#SHE IS YOUNG AND WANTS TO DO WHAT'S BEST#FOR HER CLAN#also tigerstar is like. top manipulator supreme. apologism and all but leopardstar was a victim idc#that turns out to be. you know. bad. tiger is trying to kill her clanmates which she did NOT sign off on#so she has to deal with that SUPER EARLY in her leadership#so we come out of arc 1 with a new leader who's seen more in her first like what. year. than many leaders do in a long time#so after joining tigerclan of COURSE riverclan secludes themselves more#it's a protective measure!!!!!#riverclan is going THROUGH it in series 1#and ngl i barely remember the rest of the series with ehr because they kinda forget she exists#except to have her go crazy and die#which. hm. a choice.#but wc is known for their. choices. of the odd variety.#and for ignoring character potential#i dub this the paul problem (pokemon).#where they will not commit to making a character a true villain OR to redeeming them#and isntead just placing them in 'annoying bitch who is just kinda eh' territory for the msot part#i do like paul do not get me wrong. i could fix him
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting
#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once#FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!!#simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things!#you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more#is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite#you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/#bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight#last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!!#its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead.#talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud#SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter#(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that)#your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST#reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out#your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed#levi.txt#believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining#w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage#god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre#and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism#but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative#or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl#or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence!#genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper#i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing#it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough#but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok
1 note
·
View note
Text
being a kid was thinking surely being an adult can’t be that bad but i just spent 2 and a half hours on a thursday morning trying to install a new antivirus on my laptop and now i either have to kill myself or go out and spend 7 dollars on coffee to cope
#like. it’s the little things like that that just. eat away at your soul or something like i get it now.#it took 2 hours because i just bought the one i bought last year bc i had such a terrible fucking time last year#uninstalling the old one and trying to remove every part of it bc i have a macbook and i don’t know how to use it still so i can’t#control panel uninstall like om windows. so anyway i just rebought the new version and i download it and the first thing it says to me??????#uninstall old software. BRO. you ARE the old software. but ok so i spend 30 minutes doing that#with the goddamn library/ whatever folders over and over and over again and on my moms laptop too#and so i’m like ok i think i got it all so i go to install it again and it’s like. you have no internet or the program isnt working.#try again. so i’m like. ok. so i do and it’s like ok. so i wait 30 more minutes before i’m like ??#anyway i go back and read the description of the thing and yeah last yeah they phased out my os#SO i’m like ok. ok. now i already spent the money on something i can’t use and ofc i bought it through amazon so when i called the company#they were like we can’t help u i’m like yeah i didn’t think so but thanks anyway. anyway. amazon helped me and i got a different program and#that installed in 3 minutes so anyway fuck apple for always phasing out old os and fuck mcafee for doing it too#and my mom and i have been fighting for like 2 weeks now and i’m just truly reaching my limit#but i still have to go out and buy her a bday present this afternoon like why can’t life just be good and fun ever
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
*collapses on the floor and starts having visions (new fic ideas)*
#godsrambles#godsficideas#tags essay#the idea is: in his early portal travel days. ford thinks he has discovered a way to quickly and easily confront and kill bill#it sounds almost too good to be true. but he has to try.#the random alien stranger/s who sold him this 'opportunity' for a high price are like 'ok. setting up the death ray now. brb'#'meanwhile a portal to bills dimension will start opening up. its safe youll be fine.'#so ford is sitting in this tiny storage room place with an alleged portal to the nightmare realm slowly opening up before his eyes.#and bill is on the other side of the so-called 'portal.' he can look right back at ford. fords like 'hmm i hate this actually im going'#turns out the door is locked. fords first thought is 'uh oh they sold me out to bill it was all a trick'. but bill is unable to reach him.#it isnt even a portal. its just a glorified interdimensional video call. they locked the door to give them enough time to run off#before ford realized the scam. so bill laughs at him for a min. and then they have a conversation. ford finally asks 'Why??'#'why would you ruin my life??'. and bill kinda. obliges him just this once. drops his cheerful annoying act just this once.#and answers him plainly and honestly 'I didnt. i didnt try to ruin your life. it never even crossed my mind how your life could be affected#'it was all a means to an end. i wasnt ever out to get you. you never factored in at all beyond your use for making the portal.'#'i never even thought about you when we werent interacting. not even once. you think i had some big evil scheme that youre at the center of#'youre insignificant to me. all that happened was: you fell for a scam.'#'will the guys who locked you in here ever think about you again? theyve probably forgotten your face and name already.'#'im not out to get you. i just want my job finished. the same way those guys just wanted their money.'#the bottom line of the convo being: bill really *doesnt* give a single fuck. and ford never mattered to him.#not even enough for him to *think* about ford every now and then.#fords holding a grudge against a guy who barely even remembers him.#obviously this goes against my interpretation of canon but it would still be fun to write#au where bill Truly doesnt care about ford in any way and isnt even interested by him at all#the inspiration for this was just the concept of: how crushing the realization would be for ford#the horror of realizing exactly how insignificant you are in the eyes of the eldritch being that ruined your life#i am willing to write something that feels ooc for bill when it is for angst purposes lmao#indifferent-eldritch-being bill is such an angsty concept. very fun to explore#an ao3 fic called 'the bolt that busted off the lever' (iirc) has this interpretation of bill and it is great#bill looking *bored* while interacting with ford??? absolutely heartbreaking concept 10/10
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
dinojynx
*microwave noises*
itself-how-assume-national
Untitled
stranglinghunksblog
Stranglinghunks
justthisguycalledjohn
hey :)
callowayedits
icons & headers