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#and it's like my emergency bottle that i've just never cracked into
writer-in-theory · 1 month
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you're gonna go far, love — spencer reid.
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“I’ve been ready for you to come home for so long that I didn’t think to ask you where you’d gone.” —Noah Kahan (Orange Juice)
Summary: After Spencer relapses, he takes the first flight out of Virginia with no plan other than to get a fresh start. Or, my take on where he was for Evolution. Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gn!Reader (not the focus, but it's there) Category: Hurt/Comfort WC: 2k Content Warnings: Discussions of relapse, Mentions of alcohol, Slight spoiler for the ending of Evolution S1 (despite the fact I still haven't finished it myself) Notes: This is for the New Beginnings challenge hosted by @imagining-in-the-margins and based on a prompt from @foxy-eva , so thank you so much to you lovely people. This fic comes 2 years after my last CM fic, and a few months since I've written anything at all, so thank you for the inspiration 💜
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Spencer booked the first flight out of Virginia five days after it happened. 
The person at the counter may have said the destination, but it floated straight past his ears and was carried far away. Within hours, everything he’d spent the past two decades building was left thirty thousand feet below him. 
Emily would be hurt. Everyone would be, as each of them heard the news as they one-by-one came into the office tomorrow. But it would be Emily, who was the first to notice the cracks in his once carefully crafted facade all those years ago, who would feel the most betrayed by his sudden escape. 
You should’ve at least said goodbye.
It was what Spencer had been most upset by when Emily had faked her death. After everything they’d been through together, after all of the joy they brought into each others’ incredibly stressful lives, all Spencer had needed was the chance to say goodbye and know that she was out there, somewhere, happy. 
Hopefully, she’d understand why he had to leave now, though. 
Everyone in the BAU had figured out by now that the Spencer Reid who walked out of prison was not the same as the one who’d first stepped into it. Some piece of him—and even now, he wasn’t sure how large that piece was—had been laid bare and morphed beyond even his own recognition. The loss of that part of him ached in the way that losing a loved one did, that sharp stabbing sort of ache that would appear so suddenly that he didn’t know how to handle it. 
There was no way to explain it to the rest of the team, though, no matter how supportive they tried to be. The fact was that none of them had ever nor would ever go through what he exactly had, and for not the first time in his life, Spencer began to feel like a rip current was sweeping him away from the steadiness of shore. 
It wasn’t until he was far enough away from shore that he couldn’t see the relief of the sands that his mind recalled that he’d been prescribed painkillers several months prior. 
It wasn’t the same as what Tobias Hankel had given him so many years ago, nor was it the alternatives he’d managed to find in the months after, but it was devastatingly similar enough that he’d tried to convince the emergency room doctor not to order it in the first place. ‘Pick it up anyway, just in case. No one can recover from a gunshot wound without pain relief.’ 
He’d almost flushed the amber bottle’s contents the day he’d gotten them, but the bone-deep feeling that had eased with time but never truly gone away kept him from fully eliminating that option from his life. Why should one thing that had happened to him years ago deny him proper pain relief now, should he need it? So they’d sat untouched, locked away in his gun safe for months. 
Until five days ago.
After well over a decade in recovery, Spencer knew this was always a possibility. He’d seen friends go through the same thing and had been there to support them in whatever ways he could because no matter how many times it happened the initial feelings of shock, shame, and overbearing grief could be just as overwhelming as the first. 
A day after, when he’d woken up and realized just what had occurred, Spencer had walked himself to the nearest NA meeting. Like he was on auto-pilot, he moved through every piece of advice he had gathered through the years—the stories of success and the stories of forced learning serving as guides to him. It wasn’t the first time Spencer had relapsed (a word that still struck fear in him to even think about), nor would it likely be the last time he was forced to confront this part of his past. 
Still, this was the first time Spencer walked out of the building, packed a bag, and made a silent escape from the city he called home. There was something different about this time, though he had no idea where to even begin considering the specifics of why.
He ended up in Cincinnati, Ohio.
In all the years he’d been with the BAU, they’d never once been called there. It was like every other city Spencer had been in in many ways—the buildings towering above him as he walked, the river that bordered the city mirroring the home he’d just left, even down to the FBI headquarters that was quiet now in the middle of the night. Still, he couldn’t help but feel as though it were completely separate from everything he’d known before, because the melancholy Spencer had been sitting in for the last five days had suddenly turned comforting amongst the atmosphere of the city.
He ended up in a bar, of all places. It was the kind that only served nonalcoholic drinks, the kind of place where people like him could sit without feeling outside of the norm. Music was playing softly in the background, and though it was busy there was only a gentle rumble of conversation in the room.
“You’re staring at that glass like it’ll kill you. It’s safe, Scout’s honor.” The teasing voice surprised Spencer out of the careful contemplation he’d fallen into. It came from the bartender, who was busying themselves with wiping down a few glasses, stood just on the other side of the bar in front of him.
“You know, that only works if you were actually a scout,” Spencer returned, though raised the glass to his lips after. It was sweet—a little too sweet by his standards, though it was a comfort now after the week he’d had.
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” the bartender said back. They looked comfortable here, like this sober bar were an extension of their own home. At one time, the BAU office had been the same for him. “You look like you could use a friendly face, and that just happens to be my favorite part of the job.”
“Part of the job…?”
“Oh you know, bartenders are the therapists for the lonely, or something like that.” They were comfortable, and more open to an effective stranger than Spencer ever thought possible. It was refreshing in a way, to be able to talk with them without having to worry about what case information he could get out of them. It wasn’t often, anymore, that he could relax and talk to someone just to talk to them. “What brings you to the Queen City?”
“I moved here,” Spencer answered automatically, looking down sheepishly at his glass before adding, “today, actually.”
“Oh, congrats then. New job?”
“More like a new start.”
It was quiet for only a moment before the bartender asked in a softer voice, “How long had it been?”
Spencer almost asked them what they meant, until he met their gaze. They had their full attention on him now, glasses left abandoned on the inner part of the bar. They’d been kind from the start, but the look they gave him now was the sort of pure understanding that made Spencer realize all at once what they were referring to.
“How did you know?”
The bartender sighed, though there was no sadness to it at all. They pulled something from their pocket, sliding it gently across the bar so Spencer could see. A metallic chip was place between them, silver on the outside and filled in with a green-blue color and a “V” engraved in the middle of it. It was different from the ones he’d used, but he recognized the meaning of it all the same. 
“I opened this place because the day I relapsed, five years ago now, I’d had nowhere to go after. There wasn’t anywhere people like us could go and relax without having to answer the tough questions, like why I drank orange juice instead of ‘what all the other adults were drinking’. It seemed silly at the time, but I think I was just looking for somewhere I could feel normal.”
“My family were the ones who helped me get sober, and sometimes they still forget and will ask me why I’m not drinking.” Spencer returned the sentiment with a light laugh. He loved everyone in the BAU, and even though it had only been a few days he already missed them terribly, but it was nice to have someone there who understood what he was feeling, what he was going through now.
“Exactly!” The bartender said, following Spencer’s lead and letting out a laugh of their own. “Though I can’t say I ever moved to a new city because of it.”
“It was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done,” Spencer admitted. “I…really needed a fresh start. I needed somewhere noone knew who I was, somewhere I could get a completely different job and…I don’t know, figure out who I am.”
The bartender nodded. “Sounds about right. This family you left behind, are you gonna go back to them?”
“Eventually. We’ve worked together for so many years. I spent more time with them than I’ve actually ever spent alone, and I think I just need…”
“Something new,” the bartender finished, “I’m starting to catch on. What d’you think you’ll do?”
“I’ve always loved teaching. Maybe that?”
“You know, I have some friends who work at UC. Depending on what you wanted to teach, I could see if they could get you an interview.”
“Just like that?” Spencer asked, wondering only briefly if there was going to be a catch somewhere down the line.
The bartender shrugged. “Why not? I never up and moved cities, but I’m no stranger to new beginnings.”
“I wouldn’t recommend moving cities without thinking it through,” Spencer laughed then. “I have no plan for what comes next.”
“Do you have somewhere to stay, at least?”
Spencer only winced, which he was sure was answer enough for them. He was expecting some kind of sympathetic response, but he never expected the bartender to shrug again and say, “Well, how about I be a little impulsive too. I’ve been looking for a new roommate, why don’t you stay tonight and see how it goes?”
“Really?”
“Yeah, sure. You seem decent enough not to be some secret axe-murderer or something.”
Oh, the irony. 
Spencer didn’t really know this person except for the limited conversation they’d had so far. It would’ve been safer, and probably smarter, for him to just find a hotel room for the night and come up with a plan later. But something was telling him that he should agree, that there was something more to this person that he wanted to get to know. 
So not for the first time that day, Spencer trusted his gut and nodded. “Okay, let’s try it.”
It wasn’t a fix for everything. The changes would come slowly, so slowly that sometimes Spencer himself wouldn’t even notice them happening. It would take time to get to a place where Spencer felt okay again, and a large help in that ended up being his new roommate who seemed to just get him in more ways than one. As time went by, Cincinnati truly began to feel like home. 
And two years after he’d left, when Spencer turned on the news and saw the BAU standing before a large crowd as they announced they’d finally caught the serial killer behind the shipping container murders, he finally felt the string tugging him back in the direction of Quantico.
His home was there in Cincinnati, with the person who’d become a friend and even more in the last two years and the professor job that he came to love, but Spencer knew—beyond a shadow of a doubt—that it was time to see his family again, too. 
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curious-phenomenon · 4 months
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The Bottle Job (S02E11)
- Just calling the character "Liam's brother" was a great writing choice.
- Eliot's expression cracks me up when he says "she's not like your daughter though", but it's weird that he's even looking at her like that at her father's wake. I half expected him to hit on her at the end when they'd solved her immediate problem and I'm relieved he didn't.
- I find it funny how complex and ambitious this ep's grift is, but that the first part is literally just the "woman in short skirt" grift. We've all done that grift in some form before. 
- "It's called a skimmer but thank you for trying" is too adorable. I've said it before and I'll say it again - Hodge is easily the most charismatic actor on this show and can make any line memorable and utterly charming.
- Ok so the emergency funds hidden in Nate's apartment. So yes, they don't know where each other's are (or at least Parker doesn't know where Hardison's is but I think the implication is none of them know any of them). But the delightful thing is that Hardison knows the others would have one in the apartment. He doesn't ask whether they have one, just says "emergency funds" and without hesitation they all go get them. The trust, the teamwork, the competence.
- Eliot charming the goons with the dart trick is very Eliot. The absolute confidence he has in himself that he doesn't even need to look at the board after either throw to check if he pulled it off. The confidence specifically is the designated Eliot thirst of the episode.
- Thank you to everyone involved in the fan service of Aldis Hodge's shirtlessness. Just imagine being that hot, I mean, wow. If I were him, I'd insist on taking my shirt off every episode honestly.
- The weather report is such a good con within a con. Like a "you've never seen Leverage before? It's this kinda hijinks" kinda mini con. I'm very Hodge fangirl today but he delivers weatherman vibes absolutely perfectly.
- The best fights are ones where there's a secondary objective e.g. being quiet so Parker can crack the safe. (You can totally see the Jackie Chan influences in Leverage fights and I of course mean that as a compliment.) The third goon arrives at the warehouse and sees what Eliot did to the first two and then runs off with the funniest gait and expression.
- Delicious that Nate breaks the mark's fingers AFTER getting what he wants.
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webslingingslasher · 7 months
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trouble being super sick (100% projecting rn) and not telling peter and he hears about it from her roommate and he’s a little upset she didn’t say anything but is just super attentive even when trouble tells him to leave because he’ll get sick 🥲
my laptop isn't showing your emoji :( also- boyfriend frat!peter 🥹
you lightly stomp your foot, 'no! not allowed.' peter turned up at your door, unannounced, after two days of staying away. you were rotten with the flu, it sent your room mate to stay with her boyfriend for a few days.
her boyfriend was in peter's frat, and when he noticed ally staying over he asked if you had a fight, she lets him know you were dog sick and she wasn't catching it.
of course, he called you and you told him to stay away at all costs. you'd never forgive yourself if he got sick, you know how bad you feel and you wouldn't risk passng it to him.
but he couldn't stay away.
your boyfriend pressed his lips to your forehead, a pout formed. 'you're feeling pretty warm, trouble. have you taken your temperature?'
'no. just tylenol when i feel sweaty.' he tries to squeeze past you but you stop him, 'no, i'm not getting you sick.'
'honey, you can't take care of yourself right now, let me do it.'
'i'm fine and i'm not getting you sick.'
peter shakes his head, 'i won't get sick.' you huff at him, 'you don't know that, plus i feel gross and ugly.'
'you've never been more beautiful to me.'
'that's offensive.'
you whine when peter butts himself in, pointing you to your bed as he headed for your bathroom for a thermometer. you hear him open and close drawers, he emerges with a plethra of supplies.
peter drops everything to your desk and pulls out the thermometer, turning it on and shaking it in the air.
'symptoms?'
'um... fever, i think. body aches, headaches, stuffy nose. and i get really, really cold. i'm also super tired.'
'hungry?'
'not really.'
'eating?'
'... not really.'
'fluids?'
'kinda.'
'if the flu wasn't doing it first, i'd kill you.' your boyfriend holds the thermometer to your mouth, 'open, tongue up. hold it.' you watch him move around while you wait for the result.
he's lining up everything he was able to find, vapor rub, tylenol, mucinex and emergen-c. peter plucks the thermometer out of your mouth when it beeps.
a wrinkle forms between his eyebrows, 'my poor baby, one hundred one point four.' his hand cups your face, 'when's the last time you took the tylenol?'
'i dunno, three episodes worth of love island.' you nuzzle into his palm when he strokes your hair. 'alright, i'll give you some more.' you frown when he pulls away, feeling your heart swell when he refills your water bottle and passes it your way with two pills.
you sit up and take it, he kisses your forehead. 'sleepy?' you nod, 'take a nap, i'm gonna go get you some drinks from the dining hall. any requests?'
'juice.' another kiss, 'you got it, trouble.'
---
peter woke you a few hours later, you squinted and pushed him away.
'sorry, trouble. i need your temperature, and you need to eat something. i have crackers and gatorade.'
'apple juice.'
'apple juice after electrolytes.'
'no, i'm sick. apple juice.'
'anything you want, after electrolytes.'
you grumble when he holds out the thermometer, 'you hate me.'
'yeah, you're the worst. which one you want, blue or red?' you point to the one in his left hand, he cracks cap and sets it next to you, a sleeve of crackers following.
peter cheers when your fever dropped, 'ninety nine point six, you're my little fighter.' you bat at his shoulder when he kisses your cheek, closer to your mouth than you'd like.
'no! you'll get sick! and i haven't brushed my teeth.'
'i won't get sick, trouble. i've got super human immunity.'
you suppose he's right, you scooch over and pat the space next to you.
'cuddle me better?'
another kiss to your cheek, 'anything you want,' a kiss to your forehead, 'after electrolytes.'
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walkawaytall · 6 months
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Fic anon here! No worries about publishing (or not, ofc). I was in another fandom that involved a lot of very meta+crack minifics shared on anon purely for silly purposes and while we don't do that so much in this corner of the SW fandom, the inspiration just like hit re: your name
While I'm jabbering in your inbox, for your fanfic write asks: 5! 7!
Oh, good, I'm glad I didn't commit a faux pas :). Thank you!
Onward to answers:
5. Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?
This is really just an inside joke with myself (I mean, I did make a Tumblr post about it, but I haven't drawn attention to it on the sites where I post, and no one has mentioned that they noticed), but there's this half-heard argument about something Luke dubs "The Snakebite Incident" in Speak Louder and...okay the thing is, at the time that I wrote Speak Louder, I had written The Short Stick, posted it, and then taken it down a couple of hours later because I was self-conscious about it for some reason, and I had plans to totally overhaul The Short Stick or whatever. I needed something mind-numbingly stupid for Han and Leia to argue about, and The Snakebite Incident argument was in The Short Stick. So, I stole the short bit of dialogue from my own story, dumped it in Speak Louder as this argument that Luke is tired of hearing because they're both unreliable narrators, so he never gets the full story, and every time the situation gets brought up, they fight about it, and everyone is over hearing the same argument.
And then, months later, I reread The Short Stick after letting it chill for awhile and I don't hate it. I'm not self-conscious about it any more. But, crap, I gutted that one argument for a different story, now I have to come up with something equally stupid for them to argue about, right?
Or. Instead...they can have the same argument, almost word-for-word with a few variations. Because the entire point of this argument is that everyone around them only gets some of the details, no one has 100% of the story except Han and Leia themselves, and they keep having it to the annoyance of anyone within hearing distance. (Though, Han does learn a grammatical lesson between Speak Louder and The Short Stick and corrects himself before Leia can get to it the second time around.) So, yeah, I'm probably going to keep including it in things if it fits and doesn't become excessive because I find it funny.
7. Share a line or paragraph you’ve written that you don’t think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don’t hoard cut sentences and passages like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)
Here, I'll share the start of a story that I'm pretty sure started with, "Let's do a bottle-episode-style story!" (I think I've started three different stories with this concept and a proper bottle episode has never emerged from these attempts) and not much in way of plot or purpose. I'm not going to resurrect this. It's never going anywhere because it had nowhere to go in the first place, but it's a moment, I guess:
Leia was going to lose her mind or murder Han Solo — though she supposed the two actions weren’t mutually exclusive. They were supposed to meet with the leaders of a small cell of rebels who’d been fighting their own battles against the Empire unaided on Mimban. Leia’s goal was to offer aid in exchange for the group officially joining the Alliance. The entire trip was supposed to be short — land, meet, negotiate whatever terms needed negotiating, leave — but when they arrived in the small, dingy, building where they were supposed to meet their contacts, they were told they needed to wait.
It had been half an hour. Half an hour spent sitting in a small, poorly lit room where the temperature seemed to vary wildly by the minute with only Han for company, and Han was beginning to get antsy. Leia fully understood the struggles of sitting still, of waiting. She’d never been particularly good at it, and had developed several subtle ways over the years to move and fidget without others catching on. She knew the feeling of a spring in her torso coiling ever tighter until she finally had to move. She also knew that Han’s restlessness was excessive in a way that almost seemed calculated.
First had been the leg switching. He’d initially sat with the ankle of one leg crossed over the knee of the other. A few minutes in, he’d switched legs. Leia herself had shifted her weight at least once in that time and, had she not been looking directly at Han at the time, she likely wouldn’t have noticed. Except he kept doing it every minute or so, with the frequency eventually increasing to every twenty seconds.
Every twenty seconds. On the dot. Leia counted.
She sighed, all but shivering as the temperature in the corridor they waited in dropped for the third time. “Shouldn’t have to wait much longer,” she said, a hint of apology in her tone.
Han shrugged. “I got nowhere to be.” He shifted his legs again.
Leia studied him for a moment. “You can go outside for a bit if you want. See the sights.”
He looked at her incredulously. “I’ve seen these sights, Princess. Trust me, I’m good.”
She pursed her lips. “Okay, well, I’m going to need you to stop moving your legs every five seconds because I’m about to lose my mind.”
Thanks!
fanfic writer asks
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hella1975 · 3 years
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everyone who told me to drink something i now have sambuca in a water bottle are you not entertained
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cvtqr · 3 years
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cammed 
series masterlist
i. | iii.
chapter two; the incident
content warning; smoking, drinking, hand and blow job, face-fucking
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8 months ago
eren jaeger didn't have much to do in his free time. no sports, no care for studying extra, nothing. he spent his days drinking, smoking, fucking. his days were on repeat, over and over again. 
he was in a frat, not that he actually cared about it. it was just free access to booze and parties. but constant partying for him can get a little... boring. nothing interesting, or new, happened anymore. he was about to lock himself in his room the whole night, since he heard about all the freshmen that would be coming. just a bunch of kids who think they’re grown, he couldn’t be bothered with that.
“hist’, don't you think this a bit much?” 
you emerged from historia’s bathroom, wearing the outfit she picked out for you. “its perfect!” she squealed, running up to you, “you look so hot, y/n!!”
playfully rolling your eyes at her, you patted the top of her blonde head. “but this is my first party, what kind of impression is this?” the outfit she left you wasn't casual, at all. it was revealing, up from your chest, down to every curve it perfectly squeezed.
“one saying that you’re fucking hot. reiner should be there too, i think he's grown a liking to you.” she winked at you before running back over to get her shoes, leaving you flustered in the door frame. 
brushing it off with a cough, you walked over the the door of historia’s dorm. 
“we’ve only been here, i’ve only known him for a month. plus isn’t he two years older than us? he wouldn't want to be with someone so inexperienced, in every field, like me.”
“that doesn't mean shit, y/n.” taking her small bag, she walked over to the door as you held it open.
“hmm, what about you? i think ymir’s trying to get close, don't you think?”
quickly turning her head away from you, her ears peaked out of her hair with a light pink tint to them.
“what! that's crazy, she's just being friendly!” walking away towards the building exit, you giggled while running up behind her. “yeah yeah, what ever you say"
walking into the loud and foggy house, you had to hold on tight to historia, or you'd get lost with the amount of people. this was your first college party after all. historia has been to plenty in your month of being here, but you've never seemed to care about them. grabbing your hand, she guided you into a small, secluded living-room area. 
“wow, you dragged y/n out for once. impressive, really historia.”
“thanks, guess i just have that charm.” giving jean a playful wink, she sat down next to ymir, as her hand found her way around her waist. you on the other hand took a seat next to jean, rolling your eyes at him.
“nice outfit.” he couldn't be anymore obvious as his eyes wandered down every part of your body. “thanks. do you know...- do you know if reiner’s here?”
“oh yeah my bad, forgot you have the hots for blondie. he should be outside, maybe by the pool.” you gave him a nod as you stood back up onto your feet. you tried to tell historia where you were going, but her mouth was already occupied being shoved into ymir’s face. 
surprisingly, it didn't take you that long to find the backdoors of the house. you took a step outside, a slight breeze greeting your face. there was one problem though, reiner was no where to be found. your eyes scanned the backyard, but you still couldn't find him. and a guy like him was hard to miss. who did catch your eye was a certain tall brunette. 
“bertholdt!” running up to him, you rested your hand on his shoulder. “o-oh y/n, hey!”
“do you have any clue where reiner is?” you removed your hand from his shoulder, you were unsure if you were making him nervous or uncomfortable. either way you liked reiner and didn't want to leave a bad impression by making his best friend uncomfortable. “actually i do!” he turned you around and pointed towards a small bar in the corner. “he should be over there... if not he’ll be back soon, probably taking a piss or something”
“ok, thanks ber!”
“anytime, y/n” you gave him a smile before walking over to the bar. reiner was still no where to be found. you were about to give up and go back to historia inside, until you felt a certain pair of strong arms wrap around your waist from behind.
“hi.”
“reiner... hey.” he loosened his grip around your waist, allowing you to turn around and properly hug him. “i've been lookin for you”
he let go of you and pulled out a chair for you to sit in before walking behind the bar. “yeah, sorry about that. you want something to drink?” 
“i’ll just have water for now.” giving you a smile, he leaned over to pull a water bottle out of the mini fridge. 
“toss me one too, bartender.” a semi-deep voice caught you off guard, creeping up behind you. feeling your breath shaken up, you had to cover it up by cleaning your throat. “thought you weren't coming down tonight, eren.” 
reiner tossed the water bottle behind you, the man catching it. he took a seat down next to you, giving you a better look of all his features. dark brown hair, sloppily thrown into a messy bun, defined face, beautiful eyes. he was wearing a pear of black sweats and an opened zip of hoodie, no shirt. you felt like you were about to drool as his defined abs glowed in the lights surrounding the bar. 
“not staying, i was just thirsty.” his eyes shifted towards you. you felt the goosebumps rise onto your skin as he looked you up and down. “this the girl you've been babbling about?”
“hey! what're your talking about man...”
“no need to be all shy, reiner.” he held out his hand in front of you. “eren jaeger.” you took the hand into yours, shaking it. it was rough and veiny, a few rings thrown onto it. “f/n. f/n l/n.” 
shaking his hand for a few seconds, you didn't want to let go. it felt so warm, comforting. but not to be creepy, you pulled your hand away and placed it back onto your water bottle. “well, ill leave you two be.” 
and just like that, he picked up his bottle and walked back into the house. “i think i’ll take up that drink-... actual drink offer.”
it was no surprise, or secret, that you were a light weight. it didn't take long for the night to progress, as you getting drunker and drunker hanging out with reiner. its been about two hours since you started drinking, and your head was spinning. you ended up loosing reiner somewhere along the way, and met back up with historia. 
you and a bunch of her friends sat slouched on the couch, completely wasted. you all just wanted to go back into your beds, but figured you needed some time to cool off before heading back. “where's the bathroom?” you pushed yourself up, rubbing your forehead.
“you can use the one upstairs since no one down here would use that one, third door on your left.”
thanking jean, you dragged yourself off the sofa and up the nearby staircase of the house. you turned down to a long hallway of doors, finding the bathroom. third door on the... right?
opening the door, you defiantly were not met with the bathroom. a huge bed took up the room in front of you, the guy from before sitting on the edge of it. he had his head thrown back as he softly inhaled from a blunt. as he heard the door open, he turned his head, now facing you.
“s-sorry, i thought this was the bathroom.” he lifted up his hand free from the blunt, pointing across the hall. “its okay, right across from here.”
you gave him a nod as you were about to turn yourself around. “wait... someones in there, just use mine.”
“are you sure?” you took a small, hesitant, step into eren’s room. “yeah, its just a bathroom.”
he got himself up and walked over to the other side of the room, opening a white door for you. “thank you so much!” you ran over to him and entered the bathroom. “anytime.” he said as he closed the door from you. 
the small room smelt just like him, the strong scent of cologne that lingered everywhere he went. finishing your business in the bathroom, you opened the door to find eren now seated at the edge of the bed facing the entrance of his room, the door closed. 
“soo... you friends with reiner?” you stayed in the door frame of the bathroom, keeping your distance. “hm? oh yeah, you could say that.” yet again, he took the blunt up to his lips, inhaling the smoke.
“i don't bite, you know. you don't have to stand in the bathroom.” taking a deep breath, you shifted over towards eren. he patted the bed next to him, indicating for you to sit down. something about him made you nervous, just his whole vibe. but at the same time, his presence was comforting. you took a seat next to him, fidgeting with your fingers. 
“you want a hit?” you cracked the knuckles in your fingers, looking down at the floor. even though you weren't looking in his direction, you felt his eyes burning right through you. “oh..- i don't know. i-i’ve never really, you know.”
“that's ok... do you wanna-, want to try something?” you didn't know how to respond. you were hesitant as you slightly shook your head, brining it up to face him. 
“c'mere” he patted his lap, moving his sweatshirt out of the way. for some reason this felt... wrong. you liked reiner, you didn't want to mess that up. but god knows what a guy like him does while you're not around. you guys weren't necessarily dating, so you could use a little fun once in awhile. right?
you pushed yourself up onto eren’s lap, straddling his waist. you felt the heat rushing up all over your face, you probably looked like a nervous wreck. once you were situated, eren took his free hand up to gently cup your face. bringing his thumb down to your mouth, he used to part your lips and open your mouth. he kept it wide open, now gripping your jaw. 
he pulled the blunt up to his lips, taking a deep inhale, but holding it in his mouth. he then hovered his face above yours, and opened his mouth above yours. bringing his lips just inches away from yours, he blew the smoke into your mouth.
if the sexual tension wasn't bad before... it could now be sliced clean. you accepted the smoke, inhaling it into your lungs. not that they reacted good. you immediately started clearing your throat, facing your head to the side. he let out a long, deep chuckle as you turned your head back to face him. why did he have to be so attractive. 
you didn't even know this guy, but something about that made you want him all that more. you looked down into his eyes, slowly bringing your lips down to his. he beat you to it though, crashing his lips up onto yours. it wasn't something soft, or sweet. it was out of pure lust. rough and sloppily, he shoved his tongue into your mouth. taking in every part of him, you felt a way you've never felt before. but the guilt was coming up on you, reiner was the one you liked, yet the thought of him even existing left your mind as you mushed yourself into eren.
it didn't take long for your hands to wander down his already exposed chest, feeling up on everything. you gently traced your hands on the outline of his shoulder, before pushing the sweatshirt off his toned body. his hands found your hips, pushing them down onto himself. complying, you slowly started to grind your hips onto his now fully erect cock. 
the short dress you were wearing was now fully ridden up your body, eren’s hands pulling it above your hips. not stoping the movement of your hips, your hands found their way down eren’s body, stopping at the waistband of his sweatpants. “you don't have to-”
you brought your eyes up to meet his once again. “want to though.” you slowly guided your hands down his sweatpants, into his boxers. before doing anything else, you pushed the both of you down onto eren’s plush mattress. 
taking his pants and boxers, you pulled them down just enough for his cock to spring out and slam up against his abs. it was so pretty... pretty long and girthy, two long veins running down the shaft, and a pretty dark pink tip oozing pre-cum. you spat into your hand before carefully picking it up in your hands. brining your hand to the head, you took the pre cum and lathered his shaft in it and your saliva. 
moving your body to the side a bit, you started off at a slow pace as you dragged your hand up and down his rock hard cock. picking up the pace of your hand, you had your eyes focused on his face. he had his head thrown back onto the pillows, squeezing his eyes shut. gaining some sort of confidence, you stopped the movement in your hands, and you pushed yourself down onto the bed. situating yourself onto eren’s legs, your brought the tip of his cock to your mouth, teasing it with your tongue. you weren't the best at this, but the way erens hands flew straight to your hair, you knew you wanted to try. try and make him feel good. 
you wrapped your lips around the head of him, before pushing yourself down as far as you could.
“fuuuck-, y/n”
he propped himself back up onto his elbow, watching your every move. when you looked up to him, his mouth was hung wide open, but nothing came out. you continued the movement of your mouth, his grip on your hair only got tighter. he just couldn't help himself at this point. he thrusted his hips into your mouth, his cock hitting the back of your throat as you let out a small gag, which only sent vibrations around him. you didn't want him to stop though. it didn't take long of him pulling your head up and down before he came. slightly salty cum squirting out right down your throat. 
he pulled you back up, as you swallowed as much as you could, some still dribbling out from your mouth. you both let out a long breath as you closed your eyes. before eren could flip you back onto the bed, you stood up onto the ground. 
“wait-”
you pulled your dress back down over your bottom half and brushed it off. “i should get back to my friends, they probably want to leave.”
he sat himself onto the bed and grabbed your hand into his, gently. “are you sure? i feel bad that you didn't-”
“don't worry about it! anyways im a... uh-”
“virgin... hm i wouldn’t have guessed that.” you didn't know how to take that, so you just brushed it off with an awkward chuckle.
“can i have your number anyway?” you nodded your head as eren pulled out his phone. he unlocked it, pulling up a blank contact page. you happily put in your information before returning his phone back to him.
“ill text you, eren!” you walked over to the door of his room, opening the handle.
“good. i have to talk to you anyway.”
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@kqtsukisgf @brooklynalpha
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gotham-ruaidh · 3 years
Text
Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be
This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It’s the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.
Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.
I’m so excited to finally share it with you.
Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Also posted at AO3
—-
Chapter 3: Dancing On Glass
I've been through hell // And I'm never goin' back // To dancing on glass // Going way too fast...
Need one more rush // Then I know, I know I'll stop // One extra push // Last trip to the top...
Soundtrack: “Dancing On Glass,” Mötley Crüe, 1987 [click here to listen]
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Three P.M.
Group.
Claire’s hands wrapped around the hard sides of the plastic chair, holding herself upright, watching about two dozen fellow patients? inmates? addicts? shuffle into the room.
Two people stood at the door – greeting others as they entered, handing out small packets of tissues and bottles of Coke.
Today’s facilitator – a middle-aged, bearded man – stood to one side, chatting with a few people.
“Hey!”
Claire startled – and turned to her right to see Jamie slide into the chair beside her.
“How’s it going today? Day two, right?”
She nodded. “Met with my therapist this morning.”
“That’s great! Who’ve you got?”
“Gillian.”
Jamie cracked open a bottle. “Oh, she’s great. Been here a long time. She’s married to the director – did you know that?”
Claire’s eyebrows raised. “No, but that’s really interesting.”
Jamie gulped about half the bottle in one shot. “Yeah. We owe everything to them.”
“Yeah, well. I got assigned to dinner set-up duty.”
He beamed. “Great! I’ve been on that rotation for the last few weeks. I’ll show you all the ropes.”
“Few weeks? How long have you been here, if you don’t mind me asking?”
He set down his Coke. “I don’t. And I’ve been here eight weeks. The best eight weeks of my fucked-up life.”
“Don’t say that,” she chided. “Surely everything can’t be so terrible.”
He stared at her for a long moment.
“It can be, if you were the reason why a sold-out European tour couldn’t happen, and it cost your backers and buddies tens of millions of dollars, and it pissed off countless thousands of fans.”
Now the greeters took their seats within the circle.
“Couldn’t, or didn’t?” Claire hoped her words were gentle, but when her head split with pain like this she could never tell. “And what do you mean by ‘tour’?”
His eyes narrowed. “Couldn’t. My manager said I’d come back from Europe in a body bag. He’s a bloodsucker but he had enough sense to not kill the golden goose.” He finished his Coke in one long gulp – flexing the tattoos swirling on his forearm and elbow. “And I’m a professional musician – in case you couldn’t guess from the way I look.”
“I see.”
He grinned. “How about that – someone who doesn’t recognize me.”
She folded her hands in her lap, closing her eyes against the pain, so desperately wanting to disappear. “I guess between medical school, and being a surgeon, and my ex-husband…and the pills…there are a lot of things I haven’t paid attention to.”
“Hey.” Softly he reached out to touch her knee – and she looked up at him.
“I’m not making fun of you, Claire. It’s just…I don’t know. Refreshing.”
She smiled tightly.
The facilitator clapped his hands. “Everyone – are we ready?”
People around the circle nodded, and the man sat down in the last empty chair.
“Great. Well, hi everyone. For those of you who don’t know me – I’m Murtagh. Been clean for just about eleven years now. Before that I spent a small fortune that I didn’t have – ”
“ – on enough blow to kill an elephant,” Jamie and several others chorused.
Murtagh smiled. “Wiseasses. Now – today’s topic is: clarity.”
“Can you be more specific?” A heavyset, bearded man across the circle piped up.
“You mean – provide more clarity?” Geneva snickered from somewhere near Jamie.
“Easy,” Murtagh interjected. “And yes, Rupert, of course. What I mean is: something I hear a lot from people here is that being away from substances gives them clarity for the first time in years. Clarity of thoughts – meaning, you’re logical and rational. Clarity of judgment – meaning, you feel like you are empowered to make good decisions. And overall, clarity to step away from all the bullshit that the substances made you do, or made it easier for you to do, and say – damn, what the hell was I doing?”
Across the circle, Rupert nodded. “OK. Oh – hi everyone, I’m Rupert, and I’m an alcoholic. Yeah – I can definitely relate. I wanted to not have clarity, so that I didn’t have to think about how much I was screwing up my job, and my marriage.”
“Good,” Murtagh praised. “And now that you can’t avoid it – how do you feel?”
Rupert stroked his thick beard. “Like shit. I love Scarlet so much, and I fucked it all up. I understand that now.”
“I feel the same way,” Jamie added. “Hi, I'm Jamie, and I'm an alcoholic, too. I drank because I’ve always felt so responsible for everything going on in my band – because I’m the guy that brought us together, and I’m the guy who writes the songs, and I’m the guy who’s across the table from the record company executives, advocating on our behalf.” He bounced a long, thin, jean-clad leg rapidly up and down. “I felt like I was being used, and that I was the only one who cared. I felt that really clearly. So I drank to…to avoid that clarity.”
Claire carefully watched the others around the circle. What Jamie was sharing could make any one of them a quick buck – all it would take was one phone call to a tabloid. But everyone was listening raptly – clearly thinking about parallels in their own lives – and it began to dawn on her that Jamie had one thing she didn’t have much of for herself: respect.
“And then when I drank, I’d just get really mean,” he continued. “I’d say things to rile up my drummer. I had a fling with my manager’s girlfriend, just to fuck with him. And yeah, I’d destroy hotel rooms.”
“Your reaction was to want to hurt people,” Murtagh said gently. “You had had clarity – clarity that you were shouldering too much, for too many people – and you reacted by wanting to push them away.”
“Yeah.” Claire spoke without thinking. “Um – hi everyone, I’m Claire, and I’m addicted to pills. Halcions, mostly.”
“Oh, those are the best,” a woman to Claire’s left remarked.
“Hey – no positive talk,” Murtagh interjected. “You know better than that, Letitia.”
Letitia huffed.
Murtagh turned back to face Claire. “Tell us more, Claire, if you’re comfortable?”
Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. “I was – am – a trauma surgeon for an emergency room. I love it – I love the adrenaline of it, and of course being able to help people on the worst day of their lives. I love being able to heal people. But…but it’s pretty heavy stuff. People die, no matter how hard you try to save them. People wake up and they’re not happy that they don’t have a leg anymore – and I say, would you rather be dead?”
“And you wanted to get away from that?” Jamie asked gently.
She closed her eyes. “I had to have clarity to do my job properly – it’s hard to describe, but it’s like having a laser focus on what’s in front of you. Getting in the zone. Shutting out everything else. And then when it’s all done – I would crash. The whole world would come rushing back, and I’d be covered in someone else’s blood and barely able to sit down before I had to work on the next person. That was so, so hard to deal with.”
“I understand.” Claire opened her eyes – it was an older man speaking right next to Jamie. “Hi everyone – I’m Ned, I’m a lawyer and crack addict, and there are a lot of jokes I’m sure you could make based on that.”
Claire managed a small smile.
“I’m a defense attorney – I’m that guy you see on TV arguing in a courtroom and presenting to a jury. I totally get what Claire said, because I needed to have that kind of really focused clarity, too. It was kind of like acting – I had to remember my argument, and I had to present it to the jury, and I had to pick up on cues from them to see how well I was doing. And then afterward I’d just crash. But I still had to have energy to prep for the next day, and that’s where Miss Crack came in.”
“So what I’m hearing is that clarity is something you already had – and then you turn to substances to get away from it.” Murtagh folded his arms. “Because it’s hard to flip that ‘off’ switch. And then eventually, the substances change from being something to take a vacation from that clarity, to completely blocking out that clarity altogether.”
“Exactly.” It was easier for Claire to focus on Murtagh than the sea of faces surrounding her. “And it’s a deliberate choice. I’m sure, Ned and Rupert and Jamie, that you deliberately sought out something to prevent that clarity. I know I did – I wrote the prescriptions for the pills that I consumed.”
Rupert nodded. “The bottle didn’t pick itself up and pour the liquor down my throat. And you’re right, Claire – at first, at least, it was a conscious decision. Until it became something I had to depend on.”
“I think that there are ways for this to happen more positively.” A woman seated beside Rupert quietly spoke. “Oh – hi, everyone, I’m Marsali, and I’m an alcoholic. What I mean is, there are ways to flip that ‘off’ switch that aren’t so…destructive. You can go for a run. Listen to music. Cook a meal. Watch a movie. Make love to your significant other.”
Murtagh nodded. “Marsali brings up a good point here. I’ll repeat something that I’ve already told many of you before, because it bears repeating. Substance addiction is addiction, first and foremost. All of us are here because our brains are hard-wired for addiction. We can’t change that. But we can change what it is that we’re addicted to.”
“Like what?” Letitia had calmed down a bit, but clearly she was skeptical.
“Whatever works for you,” Murtagh shrugged. “Jiu Jitsu. Flower Arranging. Reading. Playing the drums. Writing. Riding motorcycles. Not all addictions are bad – we just need to find the addictions that help us, and don’t hurt us or the people around us.”
Everyone’s heads nodded in agreement, quietly reflecting.
“So – that’s my homework assignment for all of you.” Murtagh pulled a small spiral notebook from his pocket, flipped to a fresh page, and began scribbling in it. “To think about the thing that you can become positively addicted to. Something you already enjoy, or something you’ve never done before. But I hope that even just thinking about it will give you focus. Improve your clarity.”
“Got it,” Ned said quietly.
Murtagh flipped back to an earlier page in his notebook. “Now – I have here my notes from the last time I facilitated Group. OK if I start going around and asking people for follow-up thoughts to those? Rupert?”
Rupert nodded, and began to speak.
“Facilitators take turns hosting Group every fourth day.” Claire started a bit, but held steady as Jamie leaned in close, spoke quietly into her ear. “We talk about things, and we’re assigned homework, and then the next time the facilitator is back we talk about it.”
“Thanks,” Claire murmured.
Jamie didn’t pull away. “If you ever just want to talk…”
She swallowed. “Thanks. I do. I just – it’s a lot to process.”
“It is. But you’ll get there. Talk more at our dinner prep.”
With that he pulled back, and a low buzz settled somewhere between Claire’s ears as the people around her chimed in to the conversation.
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aldreantreuperi · 2 years
Text
"Jet, what the fuck is that awful noise? My head is killing me, please stop." Faye moaned from her place sprawled on the couch. The lights had been dimmed in the room and Ed was being incredibly considerate by refreshing the cool rag on Faye's brow every time it got warm.
"Don't blame me!" Jet's voice replied, sounding much closer than she'd anticipated.
Cracking her eyes open, Faye saw that he was sitting across from her and researching something on the monitor with Ein on his lap. Obviously he'd been there for a bit now while the ungodly noise from the kitchen was continuing unabated.
Ed, perched on a peculiar inflatable ball she'd insisted on buying with her own woolongs, nodded to confirm Jet's innocence. "Spike-person is making the commotion, out of devotion!"
Faye was feeling positively dreadful. She'd expected morning sickness to be an issue but hadn't counted on it extending past the morning every damn day, and she hadn't ever realized headaches were another symptom of pregnancy. There were countless downsides to this entire experience but everyone kept assuring her that the upside would be worth it.
She winced as the sound increased momentarily and then cut off into silence. Oh thank heavens for the silence.
Spike emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later, carrying a large plastic bottle with a lid on it and a jumbo straw sticking out. He looked extremely proud of himself as he approached her and set the beverage down within easy reach.
"For me?" She asked wearily.
He nodded as he sat down on the table and reached out to brush a few damp tendrils of hair behind her ear. He managed to do that without dislodging the rag on her forehead, which was good because Ed was giving him the stink eye for coming close to messing with her method of aid.
"I figured you've been throwing up so much... Might as well put more liquids in you so it's easier to puke it back out." He reasoned aloud.
"What'd you make her? A smoothie?" Jet inquired.
Spike nodded again. "Found a blender at that pawn shop over on Mango Ave." He frowned at the beverage. "Looks like it still works okay but shit I dunno I've never made one of these before." He looked up at Faye and his expression became immediately alarmed. "Did I fuck it up?"
She sniffled, helpless against the tears welling up in her eyes. "No, I... It looks great. I'm just a wreck." Thoughtful Spike had always warmed her heart but these days she couldn't hide her reactions in the least. God, she hated crying so much but her body didn't care about her insecurities. She picked up the drink awkwardly given her reclining position and managed to suck some of it up. Instantly she was crying even harder. "Oh, Spike... It's so fucking good."
He looked relieved. "I tried some before I brought it out. Too fruity for my tastes but I know you've been craving that berry shit." He glanced from Ed to Jet. "There's a little more in the kitchen for you guys if you wanna try it."
Ed was gone in a heartbeat, though Jet remained fixed on his task. "I'll leave mine for Faye to have seconds." The ex-cop looked up at her, smirking as he and Spike both heard the sounds of the straw having reached the dregs of what remained to drink.
She hadn't realized how quickly she'd powered through the tasty drink. She blushed at their knowing and amused gazes and then felt her heart melt anew when Ed came traipsing out with the rest of the smoothie to offer her.
She might feel like crap but these people were doing everything in their power to make things better. And while that didn't ease her headache one bit - though the smoothie might eventually have an effect on that once she digested it - she felt loads better just thanks to their loving care.
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Hi! Then a prompt, if you don't mind. I've seen lots of arts crossovering bnha and among us, but I haven't seen any fics. Dekusquad playing the game, and Izuku acting like a mischievous kid, while being the impostor would definitely be cute
I love this idea so much! Sorry it's taken a while though - I've never actually played Among Us and had to watch a bunch of videos to learn the rules and strategy :')
'ORANGE IS MY FUCKING COLOUR, ROUND FACE!' Kacchan roared, the static of his microphone muffling his voice and making him sound eerily demonic.
'Like I want your fucking colour anyway!' Uraraka retorted, levelling the blonde's disgust. 'You wanna go, you expired bottle of mayonnaise?!'
'HAAAH?!?!'
‘LOOK WHO’S TALKING, BAKUHOE!’ Ashido joined in, passionately. ‘PINK IS MY COLOUR! GIVE IT BACK!’
Izuku winced at the volume and removed his headphones to prevent his ears from bleeding. They had only just begun playing and he was already starting to regret this. 
Luckily, Kirishima and Tsu quickly interjected and managed to convince the three parties to just let it go and switch colours. Uraraka was white, Ashido was pink and Kacchan was orange - although Kirishima had insisted that ‘pink is a manly colour, Bakubro. It suits you!’ which just proved to further enrage the blonde. Before Izuku could completely regret all of his life decisions, however, his screen suddenly changed as the game loaded.
"Impostor"
Izuku's pupils dilated and a smile curved across his face. When Kaminari had initially suggested that the alleged Dekusquad and Bakusquad play Among Us together, Izuku hadn't spared a single thought in his research leading up to the game night. The fact that he had gotten the Impostor so quick was almost too good to be true.
Call him competitive, but Izuku was on a mission to win, and now was the perfect time to see whether his research had paid off.
Fake Tasks: Electrical: Fix Wiring (0/3) Weapons: Clear Asteroids (0/20) Navigation: Stabilise Steering Navigation: Chart Course
He read over the tasks and had a quick look at the map. Simple enough - both groups had decided to start easy so everyone could get used to the game. Muting his mic as he mumbled to himself, Izuku spotted the blue skin of Shoto and smiled. His partner would always have Izuku’s back and while he felt bad about exploiting that, he couldn’t just not take advantage of that!
He wandered over to Shoto’s side and together they ran off to electrical to complete tasks, making sure everyone watched them go. He faked fixing the wires quite well, he reckoned. However, before he could carry out the next step in his plan, Kaminari suddenly called an emergency meeting and everyone turned their microphones on.
‘Hey, Shitface! What’s the-’
'IfYou'reTheImpostorSayWhat.' Kaminari interrupted.
'What?' Iida exclaimed. Poor, innocent Iida.
'HA! The jig is up, pal!'
Calamari has voted. Pinky has voted. FlexTape420 has voted. BabyShark has voted. Uwawaka has voted.
‘Not you too, Uraraka-san!’ Iida sounded so upset that Izuku almost felt bad for him.
‘The plan was foolproof, Iida-kun.’ Uraraka replied, intelligently. ‘Welcome to the real world, rich boy.’
‘What?!’
Dr_5PeePees_M.D. has voted.
‘Todoroki-san! I didn’t expect such a betrayal!’
Izuku shook his head affectionately and clicked on the Skip Vote button. Eventually, everyone had voted and the results appeared. As they had expected, the entire Bakusquad - excluding Kacchan - had voted for Iida, while the others had elected to skip.
What was most interesting was the little blue circle underneath LordExplosionMurder.
‘You think you’re funny?!’ Kacchan roared, while Izuku refrained from sniggering.
‘I think I’m hilarious.’ Shoto answered easily, as Iida was ejected. ‘What’s up? Gonna cry?’
Before Kacchan could reply, however, the game restarted and it was time to mute microphones. Izuku cracked his knuckles and exhaled.
Okay, let’s go.
They were back in the cafeteria; Kacchan immediately stuck close to Shoto, which Izuku thought was rather amusing. Leaving his boyfriend to try and shake the orange creature from him, Izuku busied himself with going to Security. As he wandered down the corridor, he passed Ashido and Kaminari.
Good. Alibis.
Izuku entered the room and had a look at the cameras. Shoto, Kacchan and Kirishima were in Weapons, Uraraka and Tsu were in Navigation and Sero was alone in Communications. This wasn’t good - everyone was travelling in groups. If he killed Sero now, even Kaminari could figure out that it was Izuku.
He tapped Sabotage. His finger hovered over the screen for several moments, before eventually landing on the Lights.
‘Plus Ultra.’
The moment he tapped it, the ship escalated into chaos. He watched as Uraraka ran out of Navigation, while Tsu was in the middle of clicking out of her task. Wasting no time, Izuku vented into the room and killed the lighter green avatar before venting back into Security and running to Electrical to start fixing the lights. Sero arrived shortly after, followed by Ashido and Kaminari.
Once the lights came back on, Izuku followed the other three out of the room and they ventured towards Storage, until a dead body was reported.
‘Microphones on, lads!’ Ashido proclaimed. ‘Right, who, what, where, how?’
‘We found Tsu in Navigation!’ Kirishima instantly chimed in. ‘I was with Todoroki and Bakubro.’
‘Unfortunately so.’ Shoto mumbled into his microphone.
‘Well, I was in Security and I saw that Asu- I mean, Tsu-chan was in Navigation with Uraraka-san before the Sabotage.’ Izuku commented.
Yeah, me and Mina passed Midoriya-kun.’ Kaminari added; Izuku smirked.
‘I didn’t do it!’ Uraraka exclaimed. ‘Deku-kun, how could you say that?!’
‘I’m not accusing you, I’m just saying what I saw and if...’ Izuku began mumbling to himself, fast enough that only Shoto could keep up with him.
‘Fess up, Round Face!’ Kacchan shouted. ‘Stupid Deku saw you in Navigation. You’ve been clinging to that frog since the game started. Who else is it gonna be?!’
LordExplosionMurder voted. HeNeedSomeMilk voted. Dr_5PeePees_M.D. voted. BabyShark voted. Calamari has voted. Pinky has voted. FlexTape420 has voted.
‘I am honestly feeling so attacked right now!’ Uraraka answered before voting.
The screen revealed the results. Everyone had voted for her… Except for the white and blue circles underneath LordExplosionMurder.
‘WHAT THE FUCK, ICYHOT?!’
‘I’m onto you, Bakugou.’ Shoto remarked. Izuku had to mute his mic before he let out a very unattractive snort.
‘If I was the Imposter, I’d have killed you ages ago!’
‘Sounds like something an Imposter would say.’
Kacchan set off an explosion that could be heard from Izuku’s room and they were back in the game. Izuku took to following Shoto for a bit, while the Bakusquad also went off on their own. Keeping Shoto alive was very important for now. Not only would his partner stick by him, but he was also unknowingly helping Izuku win the game by constantly accusing Kacchan.
Izuku ducked into the Reactor, while Shoto continued on towards the Lower Engine. When he was out of sight, Izuku then raced into Security, noticed that the Bakusquad had split up, and vented into Electrical. As soon as he appeared, Sero tried to run, but it was too late. Izuku sliced him in half before venting back into Security and joining Shoto in the Lower Engine room.
It didn't take long before his body was reported.
'I would like to preface this by saying sorry to Uraraka-san for the last round. I  feel really bad for accusing you. Love you!' Izuku spoke quickly. Within seconds, his phone notified him of a new text.
Uwawaka [19.34] I've been tricked, I've been backstabbed and I've been quite possibly… Bamboozled.
Me [19.34] You snooze, you lose :P
'Where was damn Deku and Icyhot?!' Kacchan shouted into the mic, drawing Izuku back into the discussion.
'Izuku was with me in Lower Engine.' Shoto calmly explained.
'Yeah, we were together the whole time.' He reaffirmed. 'Where were you guys?'
'I was in Shields!' Kacchan declared angrily.
'Me and Kirishima were in Admin.' Ashido chimed in.
'I was Communications until I found the body.' Kaminari replied.
'Okay, so it's between Bakugou and Kaminari.' Shoto contemplated out loud.
Dr_5PeePees_M.D. has voted.
'I fucking swear, you bastard. I'll end you!' Kacchan roared.
'Well, it's either you or Kaminari. I'll trust my instincts, thanks.' Izuku could practically hear his boyfriend shrug.
'I reckon you and damn Deku are in cahoots with each other and are covering.' Kacchan accused. 'How come neither of you have been killed yet? You're protecting each other!'
'Kacchan, that's ridiculous!' Izuku squeaked into the mic, albeit his eyes were stoic and his face was relaxed. 'Shoto-kun and I have been sticking together, so the Impostor hasn't been able to get one of us alone yet! Stop trying to deflect the attention away from you.'
HeNeedSomeMilk has voted.
'Oh, fuck you!'
LordExplosionMurder has voted.
'Guys, calm down.' Kirishima spoke up. When everyone fell silent, he cleared his throat and continued. 'Anyway… Kaminari has been pretty quiet during all this.'
'Bro!' Kaminari exclaimed, clearly betrayed. 'I thought you were bae! Turns out you're just fam.'
'Bruh!' Kirishima replied, passion laced in his voice.
'Don't let his mediocre vine references sway you, Shittyhair!' Kacchan sounded almost desperate.
'You're right, you're right.' The redhead sighed.
BabyShark has voted.
'I've just gone from low-key flustered to high-key irked.' Kaminari cried out dramatically.
'That's rough, buddy.' Ashido deadpanned before voting.
Kaminari screeched into his mic and also voted.
Blue and green appeared under LordExplosionMurder; orange appeared under Dr_5PeePees_M.D., while pink, red and yellow appeared under Calamari.
'You voted for yourself?!?!' Ashido exclaimed. 'Why?!'
'When a bro betrays another bro, there's no longer a reason to bro on.' Kaminari sniffled, before turning his mic off.
When the screen showed that Calamari was not the Imposter and they returned to the game, Izuku sighed.
The previous discussion had put him in a difficult position. Izuku had two options, either kill Shoto and hope that he can convince the others that the 'Imposter' had staged it, or keep Shoto alive and remain under suspicion. Sure, he had blagged that they'd stuck together in order to stay alive, but that wouldn't work forever.
He'd have to take a risk.
He travelled to Navigation with Shoto and pretended to complete a task, before Sabotaging the O2. When the screen turned red, he turned to his partner and hesitated for only a moment before killing him and running out of Navigation to fix the Oxygen.
Several seconds passed before Shoto knocked once and entered Izuku's room, phone in hand.
'I want to break up.' He muttered, shutting the door behind him.
'Shhh, do you hear that?' Izuku cupped a hand over his ear. 'That's the sound of forgiveness.'
'That's the sound of your boyfriend dying.'
'It was necessary, Sho.' Izuku replied easily, not taking his eyes away from the screen.
'You're enjoying this.'
'Of course I am!' Izuku flashed him a brief smile. 'Only Kacchan suspects something is up. Thank you for helping with that, by the way.'
'Help, I'm dating a monster.' Shoto sighed, before throwing himself onto Izuku's bed, face down.
He giggled in response and turned back to his screen. The Sabotage was quickly dealt with and Izuku staged looking around for Shoto's blue avatar. However, when he returned to Navigation, he saw a red avatar standing over Shoto's body.
What?!
Izuku quickly reported the body and turned his mic on.
'Sooo…' He began, genuine confusion in his voice. 'What the fuck, Kirishima-kun?’
'My internet lagged!' He defended.
'We have the same internet!' Ashido retorted.
'Kirishima-kun, how could you? You killed Shoto-kun!' Crocodile tears streamed down Izuku’s face and his voice choked up, helping him feign his distress.
'Woooooow.' Shoto whispered, voice muffled by the duvet.
'Shut the fuck up, Deku!' Kacchan cut in. 'How do we know you didn't kill Icyhot? I accused you of working together, seems a little sus that-'
'BAKUGOU SAID THE WORD!' Ashido squealed. Even Shoto snorted at that.
'While it's true that killing Sho would definitely turn the attention to me - seen as I've spent the most time with him - isn't that awfully convenient for the actual Impostor?' Izuku started to mumble, albeit he made sure everyone could understand what he was saying clearly. 'I mean, even if I was the Impostor, I don't think I'd be able to actually kill Shouchan…'
'I've heard enough.' Ashido interrupted. 'Sorry, Kiri, but I'm with Midoriya.'
Pinky has voted.
'Well, I think it's damn Deku!' Kacchan shouted.
LordExplosionMurder has voted.
'I don't know who it is!' Kirishima sounded distraught. 'I want to vote Midoriya, but he's right, he'd never kill Todoroki!'
'Thank you, Kirishima.' Izuku was genuinely touched by the comment. His plan was working, but he couldn't vote yet, he had to wait until last.
With one final push, he spoke, 'You're so manly!'
'Bro…'
BabyShark has voted.
HeNeedSomeMilk has voted.
Green and pink appeared under BabyShark, orange appeared under HeNeedSomeMilk and Kirishima had skipped his vote.
'What the hell did you do that for?' Kacchan spat.
'I didn't know who to vote for! I ain’t gonna vote randomly' Kirishima defended, before turning his mic off.
'"BabyShark was ejected." I so want that printed out and hung on my wall.' Ashido commented with a snigger.
Everyone then proceeded to mute their microphones as they entered the endgame.
'What's your plan?' Shoto asked.
'I've waited over a decade for this moment.' Izuku replied, a smirk on his face as he ran towards the orange avatar. 'As my final act, I will spare Ashido-san and taunt Kacchan before I kill him. I will make him suffer for everything he's done and for forcing me to kill you. Besmirched by his own hubris, I want him to know it was me, as I take victory for all to see!'
'Fucking hell…'
'Oh, hello Kacchan!' Izuku cornered the orange avatar in Weapons and smirked. 'Fancy seeing you here.'
Before his childhood friend could do anything, Izuku sliced him open and turned on his mic as the screen revealed that he had won. 'You just got Deku-ed.'
The group chat went mental, voices crying out with shock as they overlapped each other and became unintelligible. Meanwhile, Izuku leant back in his desk chair, smiling innocently.
'Man, that was so fun!' He turned to Shoto, who was staring at him with wide eyes.
Before his boyfriend could say anything, however, an explosion sounded from outside his room as Kacchan kicked his door down.
'YOU READY TO FUCKIN’ DIE?!'
Once upon a time, Izuku would've backed down at such a remark and apologised to the blonde for killing him.
Today was not one of those days.
'I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.'
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Hey it's 🐣 anon from the matchup. I've been feeling down recently cause things aren't home are not going daijobou (lame attempt on joking im so sorry). Can i request HC for Ushijima, Oikawa, Noya and Kuroo with an s/o who suddenly becomes really silent and distant when usually their loud and affectionate? And if they try to be affection to their s/o they just push the boys away. If this is making you uncomfortable you can ignore this. Thank you in advance never the less 💞
Hello little chick!! I am so sorry this took so long, I meant for it to be an emergency request but I wanted to take a little bit of time to do it and think about the appropriate reactions to things like this because they can be signs of mental health problems and I wanted it to be addressed in a way where the boys all care and want the best. If you ever ever ever ever want to talk about anything my messages are open! I am great for talking about serious things and also nothing at all so if you need a person to talk or distract you I am only a few buttons away lovey!! Please do not be afraid!
Shut out 
Words: 1.9k 
Characters: Ushijima, Oikawa, Nishinoya, Kuroo
Summary: You go from loud and bubbly to quiet and distant around your boyfriend 
Ushijima 
Ushi knows you like the back of his hand, he knows exactly how you sound when you are happy, when you are sad when you secretly want french fries but keeps telling him I don’t know when he asks where you want to eat, he knows everything about you so when you started slowly answering his questions in different ways he knew that something was up, he could tell that you were stressed and unhappy and he didn’t know what to do 
He gets really nervous around sensitive subjects like that because he doesn’t want to make you upset but he needs to do something so he does a lot of research to try and know how to help you best, he figures out that you just need some extra love and attention so one day he skips volleyball and just pulls you onto the couch for extra love and cuddles with no explanation as to why, you try and pull away from him and he just tells you no and when you try and argue with him he gives you a very specific raised eyebrow look that says it all, he knows that you need this affection and deep down you know it too so you cuddle with him and you can feel your heartbeat slow down and yourself relax in his arms 
The next couple of days he packs you lunches and walks you to and from school and to each of your classes, squeezing your hand a little bit harder every time
His extra affection helps perk you up some but not enough so after a few days Ushijima sits you down and makes you talk through everything if you want him to talk back he will, or if you just want someone to listen he is happy to hear it all and just let you talk at him
You end up getting emotional and starting to cry and he just holds you to his chest and tells you that he loves you and that it’s okay to feel this way and that it is normal and he just wants you to remember and know that you are loved 
He is really sweet the next day and brings you a little goody bag and lets you wear one of his sweatshirts, he knows how emotionally exhausting it can be to have to talk about things like that but he also knows that you need to talk to someone and if you shut him out then it’s only going to make problems worse and so him making you talk to him was super helpful and lifted a big weight off of your shoulders
Ushijima will never give up on you and he knows that bad times happen and he is going to be there to get through it with you 
Oikawa 
Oikawa Tooru is the king of anxiety, he doesn't like to tell people but he really does worry a lot behind closed doors so when you slowly start getting quiet on him he knows what is happening and at first worries that you are shutting him out because of something he did but then you still walk near him but you don’t touch him, he was confused and sad and angry and he wanted his s/o back like no one’s business, you were his love and he hated seeing you like this 
Oikawa stayed near you for several days silently wondering why you wouldn’t hug him and if he messed up or if you didn’t like him anymore and if you were going to break up with him, he felt like he was walking on eggshells at all times because he had no idea what was happening and he wanted you to be as happy and chipper as you were a few days ago 
You still walked to and from school with him, you just didn’t have any energy to talk to him and you didn’t seem to acknowledge his cheery good mornings or really even him at all
Oikawa worried and stressed about it so much that even when he wasn’t with you he was thinking and worrying about you and wondering how he could help or if he  could help
One day walking home from school he decided he was done waiting for you to come around and stopped  you outside of the school and made you tell him what was wrong, he ended up getting emotional and breaking into tears because he loved you and he didn’t want to stop loving you but this was really emotional and he wants to see you happy more than anything else and he told you that if you had to leave him to be happy than so be it because he can’t be selfish and take you like that 
You stood there in complete shock as Oikawa poured his heart out to you and you had no idea, you had been so caught up in your own head and in your life things that you hadn’t thought about how this was hurting him or how he was thinking that it was over between the two of you, that was the last thing you wanted and you had to figure out how to vocalize it to him, you had been going through a rough time and looking back at it you realized that you had shut him out and now your relationship was on the line 
You had no idea what to do so you just ran into him and wrapped your arms around his waist as you began to cry, you had been bottling up emotions for so long and hadn’t been able to get out of your own head and knowing that you hurt Tooru in the process hurt you, even more, he stood there in shock for a few moments before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close to him as he began to tear up 
After a few minutes of crying together, Oikawa took you back to your apartment and asked you sweetly if he could come in and when you nodded he pulled you inside and sat you on the couch with a glass of hot tea, some cookies, and a blanket as he tucked you onto the couch before planting a kiss on your forehead before going to sit on the couch across from you and turning on a show 
You aren’t expected to say or do anything because he knows in times like these you just need love and compassion because he gets this way after losing big games and with some time you will perk back up to your regular self and things will be okay, but until then he is going to take care of you and make sure you feel his love at all times 
Nishinoya 
Noya notices instantly that something is different with you and he wants to know what it is right way like he went in for his morning hug and you didn’t let him even though those always make you 
smile, yeah you are not getting away with that one 
He asks you several times throughout the day if you were okay and you were just quiet and didn’t really answer his question and he couldn’t help but worry about you and wonder what was happening, the day came and went and he was thinking about you all throughout the practice of ways he can try and make you talk to him so he came up with the perfect idea nd decided he was going o prank call your phone over and over with a crappy pizza delivery punch line with *67 so you couldn’t block him but he could call over and over again through practice making you annoyed, but it was always with a purpose, you loved crappy prank clals and he was going ot annoy you to death and then show up at your door with pizza and get you to tell him about the annoying prank caller and then talk to him, well the whole plan was foiled when the third time he called he forgot to hit *67 and ended up ringing with his name and you stopped him half way through his speal about it asking why he was doing this 
Noya was dead silent for the first time in his life, he just then finally cracked and told you that he wanted to make you smile and was literally on his way with pizza nad you seemed sad today and very quiet and distant but he wanted you to be sure that he loves you and that you would get your smile back 
Kuroo 
Kuroo wastes no time pulling you into an empty classroom and asking you what was wrong when you pulled away from him trying to hold your hand this morning, it was something that you two did every morning for at least a few minutes before he kissed the back of your hand, called you a princess and walked you to class
He pulled you into the room and immediately asked you what was happening and what was wrong and did not take anything as an answer, he knew you better than this and anything that was bothering you was now bothering him and he was not going to stand for you not talking through your feelings because that’s bad for you and he really does care for you 
He understands if you don’t want to talk before class but he is going to stick by your side and make sure that no one says anything to you that could upset or hurt your feelings because he doesn’t know what’s going on so for the day you have Kuroo the bodyguard (not that he isn’t usually but today he is extra cautious) and he takes extra care to carry your bag for you to try and relieve any of the stressors from your life today 
After school, he takes you to a little coffee shop and makes you sit and talk to him and you don’t want to he starts spouting lots of knowledge from science on how it is bad for you and that he wants to at least know that you are okay and if there is anything that he can help you with like he says it all in a way where you know you are welcome to talk and say anything but he is not going to force it, only encourage it 
If you finally do start talking and get emotional he takes you out of the little cafe quickly and brings you somewhere to help you relax and calm down as he reassures you that you are loved and that this is only temporary and no matter how bad it sucks there is light at the end of the tunnel and you are not alone, he is right there willing to put up just as much of a fight as you are 
He is going to take extra care of you the next few days as you start opening up to him more and being less quiet, he lets you take your time with things and is really understanding about it all and wants you to be okay, so when you pull him into a hug unexpectedly one day he just kisses the top of your head and rubs your back
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d-targaryenshoe · 4 years
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Night Scares • Andrew Deluca
Notes : this is my repost of my imagine because my old tumblr got blocked lol.
Summary: Andrew has a manic episode and one of his colleagues decides to call the one person he loves.
Warnings: anxiety
Word Count: 1385
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Now here you were in the bar of your dad, releasing all the steam your body was filled with after a whole day killing fires, together with one of your best colleagues, Ben Warren.
"Blowing of steam is your synonym for getting drunk isn't it?" Ben inquired, pushing the door open as both of you walked in.
"I won't get drunk when my dad is babying me the whole night." You spoke when walking towards the bar and taking a seat on a barstool.
"Hey sweetheart, you want some water?" Joe inquired when he walked up behind you and kissed the top of your head, giving Ben a clap on the shoulder before walking behind the bar with the tray on his hand.
"See what i mean?" A small laugh left your lips when you pointed your finger at your dad, filling a glass of water which made Ben put his hands up in surrender with a smirk.
"Water is healthy, alcohol makes you sing in the middle of the street and dance on top of tables in front of strangers." Ben snorted just as he accepted the glass of water your dad handed him across the bar. "That's horror."
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Warren. That's not what Miranda told me on girl's night last week." You joked before raising your glass to your lips.
"So you're getting drunk with my wife every saturday?" The dark skinned man whispered, tilting his head to the side. "You're unbelievable."
"I'm an adopted daughter of a bartender that's very well known to surgeons that get their asses drunk in here after their shift, so yeah, i am." You admitted when throwing a glance at your dad as he talked to his costumers. "Oh crap."
"You never told me you were adopted Y/L/N?" Your best friend asked when you slightly froze, but knowing you had to explain anyways.
𝓣he feeling of your heart beating in your throat started to work it's way up and up and way more up every time.
Sure that this adoption was a big part of your life, but the fact that people always found out in a way. That incredibly annoyed you.
"What do you wanna know, Benjamin?" You questioned as your head was leaning on your hand while you swirled a paper umbrella between your fingers. "Joe adopted me when i was little, i don't know who my real mom or dad is, they probably didn't want me and Joe did."
The firefighter next to you nodded his head and put one hand on your shoulder, knowing that you were always strong on the outside but soft on the inside like a child.
"And you? Do you have a juicy detail about your life that I still don't know about after you arrived at the fire station?" You added with a light smile playing on your lips.
"Well if having a brother who has changed to a woman is a juicy detail, then there you go." Replied Ben with a roll of his eyes and a scoff.
"It's not a juicy detail, but it is a sign that she fulfilled her dream, he's a she now." You read when you patted his hand with a playful wink.
When it came to LGBTQ or transgender people, you were very protective because your father was gay? No, because every person is different and it is okay not to be normal and boring like a regular person.
"It took me time to accept it you know." He muttered, looking at the illuminated alcohol bottles behind the bar. "Miranda immediately accepted it, but i, i didn't."
You snorted, knowing that Ben also had his stubborn moments, and sometimes knew about himself.
A phone started ringing as you glanced to Ben but he shook his head so you grabbed yours out of your bag as it showed a private number.
"Hello Y/N, who am i speaking?" you asked, watching in Ben's direction as he gave you a questioning look.
"Good evening, this is Doctor Meredith Grey from Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, are you the emergency contact of Andrew Deluca?" A female voice spoke on the other side of the phone with a soft tone as you heard yelling in the background.
"Y-Yeah i am, is something wrong with him?" and this was when you got worried, an emergency contact was all that put you off.
"Well, Andrew is acting rather weird, and since you are his emergency contact I need you to come over here as soon as you can." The woman spoke after she ended the call.
You got of your barstool and started to gather your stuff and place a few coins on the bar, hoping your dad would find them later.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Ben got up from his barstool a wel and watched how you gathered your stuff with a hurry.
"I need to get to the hospital across the street, now." You muttered when you were done gathering your stuff and heading for the door of the bar.
"Let me go with you." Ben mentioned as he followed you across the street, not stopping for cars but only heading for the hospital. "Y/N for god's sake!"
"Not in the mood Ben." You hissed as a dark blonde female walked up to you with a slight hurry.
"Y/N?" she asked before you nodded your head, just wanting her to take you to him. So you could calm him down. "Follow me."
Walking through the hallway you soon came to a halt when you saw him sitting down against the nurse desk with his head between his knees and hands slightly shaking.
"I've got it from here." You assured her as you saw a lot of surgeons forming a small crowd around the hallway. "Could they give him some space?"
Meredith nodded as she went to go and speak to a red haired female.
Giving your bag to Ben, you strolled over to your husband who didn't saw the clarity of anything around him.
"Andrew." You whispered when bending down and placing your hand on his forearm but he flinched. "Andrew, it's okay."
"You don't know anything, Y/N." He snapped looking you in the eyes as his skin under his eyes was slightly blue. "you don't."
"You didn't have any sleep did you?" You challenged him when rubbing your eyes of tiredness as well.
"Even if i did it wouldn't mean anything to you." Your heart broke at that sentence, the tone and the way he said it and that's what made you crack.
"If it doesn't mean anything to me, then tell me Andrew. Why am i wearing this." You mumbled when atear slipped down on your cheek and get up from the ground. "We're married for 2 years, and you think i don't care?"
"Y/N i didn-" His eyes settled on his hand as it was wearing a golden ring as well. "I shouln't have said that."
"You shouldn't have, no." you mumbled whentaking your bag from Ben and walking up to Meredith and the ginger female.
"I'm April Kepner, nice to meet you." the red haired smiled when shaking your hand. "He never acted like this before."
"We didn't even know Andrew was married." Meredith spoke, giving you Andrew's clohes knowing he wouldn't finish his shift tonight. "But now we do."
"I'm sorry, he just wanted to keep it private and so did i." You answered when accepting the clothes and turing around as you walked towards your husband. "Come on, we're going home."
"Make me."
"Devo buttarti fuori di qui (do i have to kick you out of here) ?" You tilted your head to the side placing the clothes in his arms.
"No importa (Never mind)." Was the last thing he said before walking out of the hospital with his clothes in his hands.
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Close in Quarantine
Category - friends to lovers trope
Warnings - smut, unprotected sex
Word count: 1486
Hi y'all! This is my first fic on this page so I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. I want this to be a place to have fun and where WOC can see themselves reflected in fics. Much love!
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Chris was saying the usual goodbyes and thank yous that occur at the end of an interview. Because everything was being done over Zoom and the video lagged even with the best of WiFi, there was the awkward overlapping of him and the interviewer talking at the same time. Once he was in the clear and was sure the call was off, he let out a big sigh and closed his laptop.
"I swear they ask the same questions every press run I do,” he said.
You emerge from the kitchen with a cold beer in hand, finally able to go into the living room. Chris didn't want you wandering around in the background while he was on the Zoom call because he knew that if anyone caught a glimpse of you, social media and the gossip blogs would be alight with rumors of Chris Evans and His Mysterious New Flame. In reality, you weren't together. Neither of you were really sure what you were, but there was certainly an ember of attraction there that had been building since you started quarantining together.
“Why don't you let me ask you the questions then,” you tease as you plop down on the couch near him.
“I have to polish up my singing voice, maybe work on my choreography first, huh?” he said.
You were a music journalist, so you spent your work days talking to rockstars and the most polished pop stars about their lives and music then cranking out long form articles for their fans and haters alike to read. Chris came over and sat next to you on the couch with his arm resting on the back of the couch behind you. Being this close to him made you nervous but you didn't mind...it was a bit of a rush. He’d started singing a song purposefully off key, taking the beer from your hand and using it as a microphone.
“You are no Mariah Carey, sir,” you said, trying not to give him the satisfaction of cracking a smile..
He knocked back some sips of your beer and you try to grab it from him to no avail. He playfully moves the bottle around and holds it in the air, using his tall stature as an advantage.
“We’ve been quarantined together for three weeks, your germs are my germs at this point,” he said.
“Bull shit that is not how that works,” you said laughing.
You finally get a hold of his hand with the beer in it, but suddenly the vibe changes. Chris, with his scruffy quarantine beard and slightly grown out hair, had grabbed hold of you and pulled you into him in a bear hug in one swift movement. Over the past few weeks living together during the pandemic, you’d gotten to know each other much better than you had when the world was “normal.” You'd seen each other first thing in the morning and gotten used to speaking freely with each other without fear of sounding weird, as it turned out you both were. You had been a friend of Scott's for a few months, and met Chris through him while he was filming a movie in L.A. After meeting him during a night of drinking at Scott’s place, you hit it off but were only casual friends...until the rona hit.
One night in the beginning of it all, you were lonely in your apartment when Scott convinced you it'd be a good idea to quarantine with his sexy ass brother that you hardly knew.
“Y/N, it's the perfect idea! You're both single and I'm in Massachusetts with our family,” Scott said. “There's no reason you should drive yourselves crazy quarantining alone when you could just live together —just until all this is over.”
Your family was miles away in Texas and your L.A. friends had their own thing going on, so you took him up on the offer, totally skipping the steps of even establishing that you like each other to living together during a global pandemic. The first day was a bit awkward as it was natural to be — you were in someone who was two steps up from a stranger’s home and self conscious because, again, he was fine as hell – but that night the two of you sat on his living room floor and bonded.
“If we tell each other our darkest and most embarrassing parts of our lives, the awkwardness is gone,” Chris had said. So you spent 5 hours talking about the deepest hurts and the greatest joys of your lives. From then on, it felt like you had known each other for years. You even got close with Dodger, who at first wanted nothing to do with you or your cat that you’d brought with you, Mocha.
You relaxed into Chris’ arms, letting your desire to be close to him take precedence over the practical side of you that didn't want to potentially ruin the dynamic you'd built. Chris, almost as if it was instinctual, kissed the top of your head and held you as if he had done it a hundred times before.
Fuck the dynamic.
You turned around to face him, mustering every ounce of bravery you've ever had. Almost instantly, he leaned in, as if he'd been waiting on you to turn around this whole time. His beard bristled against your face as your lips crashed against each other's, finally finding their way to one another after weeks of just friendly banter. You were on top of him now, your hands grazing over his mid length hair while his traveled down to your ass.
“I've been wanting to touch you for weeks,” he said between kisses.
“Then why did I have to make the first move?” you said, a wry smile on your face.
A devious grin spread across Chris’ face as he flipped you over on the couch so that he was on top. He left wet kisses on your neck and after lifting your shirt over your head, moved to the parts of your chest left exposed from your bra and down to your stomach. Your hips bucked with an arch forming in your back, relishing in the fact that Evans’ hands and lips were all over your body.
The two of you in all your feverish affection managed to roll off of the couch and fall onto the carpet, somehow knocking down the half full beer off the coffee table in the process.
You were straddling Chris on the ground, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of you, to feel his bare skin on yours. You noticed the beer spilled on the floor.
“Shit.”
“It's okay, babe, leave it,” Chris said, his voice gruff and husky.
He picked you up and carried you to his bedroom, a place you'd never seen. His room was pristinely clean, for a man at least — very little was out of place. He laid you on the bed with a sense of determination, whispering in your ear as he got on top of you, his shirt half off, “I'm gonna show you how bad I've been wanting this.” His Boston accent had come out in full force...you'd only heard it like this after you'd both been drinking and your own Texas twang snuck out.
“I dare you,” you replied.
Everything seemed to move at lightning speed after that. It was like there was electricity within the touch of his fingers. In a whirlwind he took off your clothes and his own and before you knew it you could feel his dick brush against you, hesitating before he entered you.
“It's ok, I trust you. I want you,” you said at a near whisper, stroking his hair.
At first it was slow, the strokes were uncertain until he got accustomed to you and started a sensual rhythm. He eased himself deeper into you, causing you to throw your head back, letting yourself meld into him. His speed picked up while his lips grazed your nipples and the sound of his wooden bed frame hitting the wall filled the room.
You were in some sort of trance from the feeling of his hips moving against yours. Slowing down a little, Chris pinned your arms to his bed, brushed some of your now wild hair out of your face and placed his hands in yours. “Look at me,” he growled. Your fingers curled around his as he drove himself deeper inside you with a sense of urgency. As you stared into his blue-gray eyes you could feel yourself falling apart, and he did soon after.
The golden light from the setting sun peeked through the windows while you laid in Chris’ arms. Neither of you said a word but you felt closer than ever. Any amount of distance that was between you was gone now.
@honeychicanawrites I would love to know what you think of this. You inspired me to start writing fics!
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foodbytesback · 3 years
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The New York State Fair Easily Has Some of the Fried Food I've Ever Had
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Every August, the talk of the town (my hometown, Syracuse, to be specific) is always the Great New York State Fair.  And this year, the talk is mostly about how multiple food vendors had pulled out.  
This made me a little nervous at first, but it turns out that this was mainly referring to Dinosaur BBQ, Gianelli Sausage, and Tully’s (a sports bar chain famous for its chicken tenders).   Maybe these are big draws for people coming in from out of town, but the first and last ones have stand-alone restaurants I can go to year round, and I can buy Gianelli sausage in just about any grocery store around here, so I personally don’t really associate any of these with the Fair. 
So when I later heard that a.) many of the still-existing stands were trying out new things, b.) attendance was way down this year (for incredibly obvious reasons), thus eliminating any long lines to discourage me,  and c.) admission fees are only $3 everyday (as opposed to $10 most days with occasional $1 days), I figured surely this must be the year to go, right?
Unfortunately, my plans for a perfect day at the fair didn’t go quite as I was expecting.  Mainly, the only day I had free time to go happened to also be nearly 100 degrees.  Even after skipping the grogginess-inducing wine slushies, that’s just not ideal overeating-then-walking-it-off weather.  My sister complaining the whole time that she couldn’t find a place that did fried cheese curds (like….. just get fried anything else girl what are you doing) didn’t do much to improve the enjoyability of the day.  A couple of stands, such as one doing fried gator mac & cheese and one that I’ll mention later, didn’t have the things that I had read online that they were doing, further throwing my plans out of sync.  Ultimately, I was only able to stomach 3 different stands over the course of about 2 hours before calling it quits.
The good news is I didn’t get sunburnt this year.    Thank you, bottle of sunscreen that’s 3 years past its expiration date but still worked somehow.  Also, there’s whatever the fuck is going on in that butter sculpture.  
Fried Cauliflower with Thai Chili Sauce (Veggie Patch)- $8
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Holy shit- a vegetable! It's still fried, of course, but it IS vegetables.  The batter is crisp and doesn’t break apart or fall off the cauliflower, the cauliflower itself is cooked through while still being toothsome, and the Thai chili sauce (while still being that sorta generic, Mae Ploy style sauce that's sweeter than it is anything else) does work really well with the cauliflower.  It's simple, but it’s good.  And, having been cooked to order, was probably the freshest thing I ate all day.  
8/10
Philly Cheesesteak Fries (Big Kahuna)- $12
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One of my favorite things from my 2019 trip to the Fair was the Caramel Crack Fries, and I was keen to try their hotter counterpart, the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Fries.  Unfortunately, they had to simplify their menu a little this year, removing both of those, but they did have this spiritual successor. 
The beef is a sickly grey and a little underseasoned when eaten alone, and many of the fries, while still cooked through, are a little on the pale and limp side.  This is not really the end of the world, though, since fries with this much wetness on them weren’t going to stay crisp for long anyways.   (Also, this is neither here nor there, but this year they’ve gone with a crinkle-cut as opposed to 2019’s straight-cut)  The cheese sauce is yellow goo from a can (the cans were proudly stacked up by the register), which- you know what? Is how the cheese on a cheesesteak SHOULD BE. The peppers and onions have been cooked down almost to the point of mush, but still taste like peppers and onions. Everything, when eaten together, tastes good, it's just a little hard to look at. the fact they put it in a dog food bowl doesn’t help.  And I can’t help but feel like it was this giant bowl of slop that killed my appetite for other, potentially more interesting, offerings.
5/10
Chicken and Waffles- (Oh My Darling + Luna Loca)- $12
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I’m doing my best (and, in my opinion, succeeding) to ignore my previous disdain for stands at the fair that are just simplified versions of local restaurants that you can eat at anytime when judging this collab between 2 somewhat trendy downtown restaurants that I’ve never been to (because I don’t know where to park, ok?).  Slightly more worthy of judgement, however, is the fact that it was ready mere seconds after I ordered it, cluing me into the fact that these are not being made fresh.  
Is that even that big of a deal, though?  The chicken wasn’t as dry inside as I would’ve expected from something that had been sitting inside a hot box for who knows how long.  The breading was still somewhat crisp, and was well seasoned, including some kind of spice that wasn’t present upfront but lingered on the palate.  The waffle was very crisp, and had an incredible, unique crumb on the inside (Maybe from a yeasted batter of some sort? I don’t really know enough about baking to say for sure.), but was also very dry.  The icing drizzle over the top mostly clung to the chicken, providing no relief for the dry waffle.       
If it had been made fresh, it would have easily been the best of the 3 things I had that day.  But I personally feel that part of the appeal of eating fried garbage is watching it emerge from the fryer, glistening with grease and obliterating your mouth upon your first bite.  If nothing else, it was good enough for me to want to try their stand-alone restaurants (as soon as I figure out where to park).
7/10
Final Verdict:  It’s hard to say if there’s any real big showstoppers this year, but I don’t think I can say it’s gone downhill at all either.   If you want fried food but typically don’t like pay the $10 admission fee or dealing with crowds, it’s worth going this year if you’re vaccinated.  And if you aren’t? I think they’re giving out shots at the fair, actually.  So go kill 2 birds with 1 stone and get vaccinated already dude wft.
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witchygagirlwrites · 4 years
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Cant Love You Back
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*Not My Gif*
Because the song was stuck in my hand and apparently I am a fucking narcissist that loves pain so here ya go. @gottaboopthesnoot
There was a time in Kelly's life he was simply coasting through. He'd bust his ass at work then either go home to an empty apartment or go get drunk and go home with a girl whose name he had forgotten by the time he left her place. 
That changed the day Chief Boden announced fifty one was getting a new addition. You stood at the front of the room as Boden introduced you. Kelly offered you his hand and from the moment you smiled at him he felt something start to flutter inside him he had never dreamt of giving the light of day.
You fit in as if you'd been a part of the team from the start. Everyone that met you seemed to be drawn to you, Kelly worse of all. He'd find himself scanning for you after a tough call just to see for himself you were fine. After shift would end he'd make any excuse to spend more time with you 
--------------------
"So when are you gonna bite the bullet and ask her out?" Matt asked after watching Kelly follow you around like a puppy for two solid months. 
When Kelly cut his eyes at him he raised both hands defensively "Just saying man. It's painfully obvious how you feel. I can't blame you she's a great woman and beautiful. I think she feels the same but you're her Lieutenant and she's not going to admit anything that may make her seem as if she's ladder climbing" 
"That you or Gabby talking?" Kelly asked looking out into the bay where you were currently helping Gabby and Sylvie restock their rig. "Little bit of both. I'm just saying Kelly you've changed since she got here and it's not bad changes. Go with your gut. It's never led you wrong" 
Kelly felt Matt patt his shoulder before hearing his footsteps walk away. Had he changed that much since meeting you? When he thought about it he didn't remember the last time he'd drank over a couple beer and he'd been content with an empty bed knowing he'd see you the following shift 
You threw him off balance in the best way possible. You wouldn't blink an eye going into a fire but volunteered in the n.i.c.u. on your days off. You were a perfect combination of that fire he'd always crave and the peace that he desperately needed.
Hearing your laughter drew him out his thoughts and he glanced up to see you walking into the common room laughing about something Slyvie had said. When your eyes met his you smiled even further "Hey Kelly" "Hey Y/N can i talk to you for a minute?" The moment he asked Slyvie and Gabby shared a look then made up some excuse to be scarce.
"What's up?" You asked smiling up at him and Jesus christ he felt like a teenager with their first crush "You think you may wanna grab dinner with me sometime?" "Kelly Severide are you asking me out?" You questioned and he nearly blushed "Yeah?" You took a step closer to him and leaned up to leave a kiss on his cheek "good cause I am doing absolutely nothing Friday night and I have a new outfit sitting in my closet that desperately needs to see the light of day" 
"About frickin time!" Both of you both turned when you heard Mouch who was sitting on the couch watching t.v. but it was apparent he'd seen your exchange. "Excuse me?" You asked with a laugh so Mouch shrugged "I had the two and a half month mark in the betting pool" 
Your mouth fell open in shock and Kelly couldn't help but laugh when you recovered enough to say "That's it! I'm calling sergeant Platt!" and Mouch started backtracking trying his best to apologize but you winked at Kelly then ran off already dialing on your phone.
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Kelly pulled up in front of your apartment building around seven and slowly walked inside. Your apartment was on the second floor so headed for the elevator while he sent you a text that he was on the way up.
By the time he stepped off the elevator you were standing in the hall waiting on him. You were wearing black ankle boots with a black dress and a red leather jacket. Your hair was down in loose curls around your face and he'd never seen a more beautiful sight. "Wow" he breathed and a smile spread across your face "Does that mean you like?" He nodded quickly "Very much"
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The night went by too quick in Kelly's opinion. The two of you went to dinner and a movie then stopped at Molly's for a drink before he took you home. When he walked in with his arm around your waist it just felt right. Otis slid two drinks across the bar with a smile "These are from Mouch and Trudy"  you leaned back in your seat and spotted the two so you raised your bottle to them with a smile then turned back to Kelly "So Severide I was going to wait until you take me home but you owe me a kiss. I mean i technically kissed you first"
"Is that right?" He asked with a smirk that only deepened when you said "oh yeah definitely. I mean I've heard that you're some sort of ladies man yet all night the furthest you've went is home my hand or putting your arm around me" he cut you off mid sentence with a kiss. The kiss was gentle, barely a brush of the lips but when he pulled back a smile was on both of your faces "So does that mean this is going to be more than one date?" He asked and was answered by you grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for another kiss. 
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The first time you told Kelly you loved him was after a huge fight between the two of you. You'd been staying at his place more and more so he was on the verge of asking you to move in but it just so happened a friend of yours had stopped by the firehouse to catch up. That friend just so happened to be male and Kelly's jealousy flared up.
The night had ended with you storming out of his apartment slamming the door behind you. You didn't answer any of his calls or texts and when he came over to your place you opened the door long enough to say "Kelly if you care about me at all you'll leave"
The next day he was miserable walking into fifty one. He spotted your car and prayed you'd talk to him but you stayed close to either Gabby and Sylvie or once they left on a call you walked over to where Herrman was sitting and struck up a conversation with him.
A call came out for an apartment fire with civilians trapped. Kelly was watching you take your orders from Matt and wanted nothing more than to tell you to be safe before you went  in but didn't want to distract you if you were still upset.  You started to walk past him but stopped just long enough to say "I love you Kelly" then jogged to catch up with your crew who were headed in. He had just a few seconds to process what you'd said before heading in the other entrance with Cruz.
The moment the building was cleared you were outside helping roll the hoses up. Kelly had just got through talking with Matt and chief Boden when he saw you. He caught your hand when you bent down to pick up another hose and the moment your eyes met his he said "I love you too. I'm sorry i was a jealous asshole. I've just never felt this way" you rolled your eyes but the smile you had told him all he needed to know even before you said "Good because neither have I. I'm not going anywhere Kelly" 
----------------------
You and Kelly were coming up on your two year anniversary. Your present had been sitting in the top drawer of his dresser for weeks. Gabby had went with him to help pick out what cut and style of ring she thought you'd like and of course she'd somehow managed to find out your ring size as well.
He had everything planned. Where he was going to take you, what he was going to say. The thing about plans is that sometimes the unexpected happens.
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The call had been simple enough. A warehouse had caught fire on the south side. You'd went in with Matt to clear the base floor where a few workers were trapped. You were following close behind Matt "Fire Department call out!" The haze of smoke was bad enough you could barely see in front of you.
You took another step and heard the crack right before your footing gave way. One moment you were falling the next you felt a sharp pain rip through your abdomen. You looked down to see a piece of rebar sticking out an inch above your navel. Your hands were shaking as you touched the wound trying to apply pressure but the slightest movement ripped a scream from your lips. "Y/N!" You could hear Matt's voice and knew you just had to hold on.
A moment later you heard him across the radio "Floor collapsed. Y/N's hurt. I need assistance" when his face appeared next to you the look on your face told you everything you needed to know about your injury. "Matt if something happens. Help Kelly please" you begged him your only thoughts being what would happen to the man you loved. Gabby told you how bad he'd gotten about Shay had been killed. You didn't want him falling in that hole. "Hey don't talk like that. You'll be fine. Your anniversary is in two weeks you'll be on your feet by then" 
Matt's hand found yours and gripped it tight. You could hear voices and knew everyone was working their way to you.
Kelly was fighting to get inside to your side but Boden called him back "You'll be in the way. Let them get her out then you can ride with them to med" it took everything in him to not argue. The moment he saw Cruz and Capp emerge he ran to your side feeling himself weaken when he saw how severely injured you were.
"Hey baby" you managed weakly as he climbed into the ambulance next to you while Gabby worked to stop the flow of blood. "Hey beautiful" he said with a smile that was marred by the tears flowing down his face. Every bump the ambulance hit caused a grimace to flash across your face. "Kelly I don't want to die" you whispered right as your grip on his hand loosened and the heart monitor on you flat lined. 
--------------------
"If love could have saved Y/N she would have lived forever. Love from her aunt and uncle who raised her, from her family at firehouse fifty one and from her loving boyfriend. Sadly fate as it seemed had other plans. We don't know why she was taken from us so soon and as we grieve today may the loving warmth of her spirit live on in all of us she held close" 
Kelly sat in the front of the church staring at the photo of you that had been chosen. Those eyes he loved looking into that never opened again after you whispered how you didn't want to die. That smile that always made even his worse day better that he'd never see again. He never got to ask you to marry him. He never got to see you pregnant with his child. He'd never get to tell you again just how much you meant to him.
He'd love you every day for the rest of his life. If only he could manage to love you back to this world then maybe his heart wouldn't feel like it had been ripped out his chest the moment you took your last breath.
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itshesdimples · 4 years
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-Hello to anyone reading. This is my first time writing something and putting it out for the world to see. That being said, I would love any constructive criticism you have to give me. Thank you for any support you may give me, I cant thank you enough xoxo ~H - 
I remember the day as if it were yesterday; the day you crossed the unimaginable line. 
I thought we had everything, I thought I was your everything. 
2 MONTHS AGO
"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.
"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.
You were a little worried, seeing as you two had been together for a little over nine months and it was extremely rewarding. The time apart has always been different to the other relationships she had been in the past but with Harry it seemed like more than she had ever received from the previous men. 
As a surgical intern you work countless hours and never really get more than a few hours to yourself, so when you met Harry you really never saw it going anywhere. You were just too happy for your own good, openly expressing your life to perfect strangers and expecting them all to be accepting of who you are.
* 9 MONTHS AGO* 
The hospital you worked at allotted 80 hours a work week and as hopeful as you may be feeling, there is a little voice in the back of your head telling you not to go bar hopping. "Just one drink and then water." you emphasize to your good friend Mike, the bartender. 
"Vodka soda coming right up, Dr. Demanding." He chuckles. You turn around in the chair and stare at all the fellow drunks, looking for your intern comrades who should be here by now. 
Although you dont find your friends, you spot a very handsome, familiar face coming toward you. Admiring the face across from you, you decide to take the first step following by the downing of your vodka soda. " You dont seem to be familiar with the very famous bar here in town so you must not be from around here," you tease, holding out your hand to shake. "I'm [Y/N]. Not to sound weird but have we met before?" You get a very bold feeling of deja vu but laugh it off. "I'm sorry, my friends are supposed to be here by now and I'm socially handicapped, sometimes I dont know when to stop talking." Now you're just rambling at the breathtaking man in front of you and feeling red in the cheeks. 
"Its alright love, I sometimes feel socially handicapped around exquisite women such as yourself. Actually, that sounded like you're one of hundreds but I-- what I meant to say was that, you seem a little lonely. Can I buy you a drink?" He rambles, tugging at his jacket. 
"I am only allowed one drink, I know it sounds weird but I'm on a ticking time bomb, you see this?" You pull out your pager, "any moment this thing will go off and I have to skip back to work like a dreamy little school girl but inside I am dying of starvation, need a beer and twenty hours sleep." You just keep spitting up word vomit and your face is permanently pink but you just cant stop because what if it gets quiet? Now that's when it gets awkward.
"I don't think we have ever met because I'd remember you" Harry confirms, looking you up and down your shapely body. "What do you do for a living that has you on such a tight leash?" Taking a sip of his beer, he stands up and walks next to the chair you're sitting in. 
"Surgical intern, Dr. [Y/L/N] at your service, sir." You cant help but crack a little bit of the tension you have building up in your stomach while talking to him but that doesn't stop you from staring him in the eyes and trying your best to flirt. 
The aura around him is too intoxicating, too much to handle without trying to add a little humor in the mix. "I like it when you call me sir, Dr. [Y/L/N] but how long have you been a doctor? I'd love to get to know you before you have to leave me." He articulates, trying to captivate her attention.
"I love my job but it has been a long winded road, it feels like years but I've only been a real doctor for a little over two months. It takes a lot out of me but that is why I'm glad I have two great friends who I can lean on. We keep each other afloat and they're also my roommates. I don't know where I would be without them." All of that poured out of my mouth before I had the chance to cork it but I couldn't help telling him something about myself that was at least surface level.
He just seems like an eerie case of the best illusion I've ever seen. I cant help but shake the feeling that I've known him all my life, like telling him the ins-and-outs of my life wouldn't be detrimental to my health. 
"Now tell me something about yourself. For starters maybe your name? I've never seen you here before and I'm here all the time so I'm pretty good at knowing who is an out of towner, and I don't know how much time I have left." You're trying to get to know him and that is so unlike you. Having had boyfriends in the past, you were never the one asking the questions or wanting to get to know them more than a few dates and drinks. The longest relationship you have ever had was two months and you two went to high school together. 
"Hi I'm Harry, and I don't know how much longer I get to sit next to you so please can I have your number, sunshine? I would love to take you for dinner sometime soon." Harry is going out on a whim asking for your phone number but keeps going, "From what I have gathered you are a very busy woman and I admire that, love it even. I know this sounds crazy but I feel like I know you already and I have never felt that with another person so please give me a chance, I will work around your schedule. I dont care what it--" he is stopped when your pager goes off as an emergent patient being admitted, all hands on deck you assume. 
"Sunshine, huh? I like it." You wink at him and ask Mike for a pen so you can scrawl your number on a napkin and thank Harry for a very pleasant chat. It was good to know that he felt for you, as you did him after just meeting the man, and his nickname for you was adorable. 
For the next two weekends you spent getting to know Harry on a personal note. He told you he loved writing music, performing and was already an amazing talent. Harry showed you his latest music and you wondered how you hadn't connected the dots sooner. You knew he was a very private person, as he told you on your first date. 
(FLASHBACK)
"I'd love to get to know your friends, and see what kind of person you are. I can't wait to know you but I just want you to know that I can't have a lot of people knowing what is going on in my personal life." He sighs, you two sat down at dinner and he couldn't help but spit out what he wanted to tell you when you first met. "I don't want to sound pretentious or come off as someone who cares about his appearance to others but I have to tell you that I make music for a living and have quite the lot of fans. Screaming fans to be exact, " he chortles, asking the waiter for a bottle of wine to start off, "but I can't help but love them all. They made my career but I have to remain a private person. I adore my fans but they are very protective and I don't want our relationship to struggle because of a few of them saying unkind things." He grabs your hand and looks you in the eyes, trying to make you understand the reason for privacy.
"I've never met anyone like you Harry and I meet a lot of people on the regular. You have this way about you that draws me in and I want to get to know you. If that means that I cannot post my gushing about you on social media, so be it. I really like you and would like to know who you are." You declare, hoping he understands that he as a person means more than everyone understanding her lifestyle choices. 
(END OF FLASHBACK) 
Tonight was the night you knew you wanted to understand him on an even more personal level. You knew that the way you felt for him wasn't a normal crush, wasn't even a normal type of love. You knew he had the power to hurt you if he wished to do so but that was so far in the back of your mind. He meant so much to you already that it didn't matter you two were keeping your relationship a secret from most of the world, apart from a select few. It was the best date of them all, Harry cooked you and your best friends dinner so when you got off work, dinner was on the table. He was always so thoughtful of your needs and you thought it was the time to prioritize his.
"Take me to bed Harry." You whimper, "I want you." 
*7 MONTHS LATER* 
Things were hectic in your life but that was the way they always were but now it seemed like days stretched past 24 hours and turned into a marathon sprint that never ended. 
The day Harry unmistakably broke you was the day that sleep had everything on you. Going for days on end was something you were accustomed to but after he cut you deeper than you could ever be, sleep seemed to be your only friend. 
You thought you knew him better than anyone. He was your Harry, your everything, even your person maybe? 
But when his decision to take his career to the next step interfered in your relationship, your life; that was the day to call it quits no matter the devastation. He may have been your soulmate but maybe, just maybe it wasn't right. The timing, the place of it all was just too much. Your life just didn't have room for much else, especially someone who was willing to hurt you unimaginably and not walk away in order to lessen the blow. 
*2 WEEKS BEFORE THE INEVITABLE *
"Hey sunshine, just calling to let you know I wont be able to make it home this time. I'm sorry, the label has me doing something that I'm not sure is a good idea but they say it will help me in the long run." He sighs at the end, I imagine him palming his forehead.
"Look, I need you to listen to me when I tell you that you are everything to me, you make me want to become the best version of myself. During the months we have been together I have seen the best and worst side of you and I'm not running, promise. I want you to be mine forever, do you hear me? Just remember that." Harry expelled.
That was two hours ago and within those two hours you knew it was best to stay off your phone. You keep telling yourself to not look for anything leading you to clues about his voice mail. It wasn't like him to express his feelings over the phone, he was an in person 'declare-my-love-for-you' type of man so when you listened to it you thought it was best to stay off your phone. 
Trailing off to the shower in pursuit of getting to work, you hear your phone's inescapable shrill from your bedroom and decide to opt away from contact to that thing. 
As soon as you leave for work is when your heart stops, skips a few beats and then plummets into your stomach. 
"Harry Styles in a relationship with Camille Rowe? That is the best thing I have heard all week. The star tells us that they met months ago and kept it a secret in order to get to know each other. We cant wait for updates on their relationship. Now on to the juic--" That's all you can hear for the rest of the day, ringing in your mind like it is an announcement on the P.A. at work for all to hear. 
You knew that was the end of everything. Devastation didn't even hit the mark, it was like everything in the world was on fast forward and you were still trying to get through the commercials. Nothing made sense any more, the glass was no longer half full. It was completely drained and then smashed on the ground into a million little pieces. That was how her whole body felt, like it was just shattered on the ground, irreparable. 
The damage was done and there was nothing holding you back from wailing like a siren in front of all of the patients waiting for surgery, but your best friends always had your back. Making sure you eat during lunch and taking you to the bar at the end of your shift so you can drink the bottle dry. 
Just shy of a half hour sitting at the bar was when you were cut-off by Harry running into the bar rambling about how he thought they were spinning the tabloids another way. 
"I thought they were going to report that we just met and were already dating, I would have never let them ruin what we had by saying I knew her while you and I were together. I told them exactly what to say! I don't even know her, we just met." He jumbles his sentences trying to get hold of his clear message. 
You stand up from your seated position and start motioning for him to join you outside. Once out there, you decide what is best moving forward. 
"While we were together?" You scoff, trying to be as civil as can be under your obvious exhaustion, throwing your hands up in exasperation.
"At least you said something truthful in the last two minutes you decided to interrupt my break. Yes, you and I are no longer together. Honestly we should have never started something, our careers couldn't be more opposite and honestly I cannot afford to ruin my career over someone who wants to build his on lies. So thank you for what we had but from now on I would like to move forward, away from you." You keep talking in order to get your point across, hoping that when all is said and done there will be closure on both ends. 
You know that Harry does care for you but in these last twenty four hours you've learned is that maybe you can't have it all. Maybe happily-ever-afters are only for the imagination. 
Maybe life throws things at you so you can overcome them but there are times like these when she wonders what the message is supposed to be? 
Is there a message? 
That you can have one person in your life that should be your forever but just cant fit in there? 
"I know we never said it but I do love you, I think I always will but we can't make it fit. The time we spent together was great and I hope there is a lesson in there somewhere. I can only believe that closure is what we need now." She grabs on to his shoulder and goes in for a hug to end the conversation but he pulls back,"How could you think that we need closure? What we need is each other. I need you, in my life with me forever. You are always going to be the only one for me, I just know it." He grabs on to her and holds for dear life, hoping that he can convey her to stick it out for them both. 
"I know what I'm feeling is selfish because I never want to hurt you but my career is part of my life and I can't run away from who I am but I want you in my life, always. I will never stop loving you." Harry pulls away and looks in her eyes with tears in his," I cannot fathom a life without my sunshine. Maybe the timing is wrong but cant we make it right?" 
[Y/N] pulls away, trying to compose herself and make the most rational decision. She needs to think about her life and what she needs, not anyone else. "Harry Styles, while being with you was the best rollercoaster ride of my life, and if I could stay on forever I would do so; I have to get off. I need to pull away for the sake of my head and heart. Being with you makes me happy but when it interferes with my work, which is saving lives, I have to be on one hundred percent all the time. You have clouded my thoughts and judgement, and while being a star is part of who you are, being a doctor is me so I cannot give up who I am. Sometimes maybe love isn't enough?" By this point you can't hold back the sobs you have held in since you knew the inevitable truth and holding them back would be foolish, so you let them come. 
Harry tries to grab onto you with the little strength he has left from crying and lack of sleep. "I cannot let you get away. You are my everything! I canno--" he tries to catch his breath in between the racks of his heart," please, please do not leave me [Y/N]. We can make this work. I love you and that is enough, it is enough for me. Please." Harry whispers the last part, crouching in front of you and trying to hold you to him. 
"It isn't enough for the both of us Harry, and you know it." You're trying to hold back until you can be alone. All you want is to crawl in bed and become dead to the world because that's how you feel right about now. " I will always love you and maybe one day that love will be enough but right now I just don't see how that is possible Harry. I can't rationalize what is happening in our relationship and tell you that we will make it through it. The best thing to do is cut our ties before we start to resent each other." You take one last breath, looking at your friends inside the bar. You signal to them that you're leaving, and say the one thing that you know will hurt the most. 
"I can't try anymore to be with you so this is my goodbye. I wish you the best Harry, I really do." In the middle of all this you had a death grip on his hands but now is the time to walk away from one of the best things to happen to you. As gut wrenching as it is, the best thing for the both of them was to move on. Worry about the time in their career when it is at the peak so as hurtful as it is, she knows that she is doing what's best. 
You pull away from his grasp, looking down at him kneeling on the ground and kiss his forehead. "I love you." You whisper through tears. 
All you can hear behind you is wails of sirens, drunk people cheering on the football game inside but the one thing that is the loudest is Harry's cries. As soon as you walk away you break down into a blubbering mess. Your friends catch up after you, while looking at the mess you and Harry made behind. You can hear Harry's cries of desperation and the only thing your heart is telling you to do is 'go back, go back to him' but you know it's not logical. 
If it is meant to be you will make it work at a better time. Things will come together and make sense one day but not when her mind is a fuzzy mess. Maybe weeks, months or years later she will understand what it means to have love be enough. It has to mean something right? 
Good byes may hurt but sometimes they are unsurpassable. Sometimes they come barreling into your life totally unexpected and ruin something you thought could be forever. 
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blueberryrock · 4 years
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Hey guys, umm here is the twelfth chapter. I had answered an ask today and it made me remember to put this up, I'll hopefully put the rest up this week, but enjoy!
(Blue's pov)
This is taking forever.
I impatiently drum my fingers on my thighs, I've been sitting here in this very uncomfortable chair in the waiting room of the medical wing.
For some reason, it's been unusually packed with a bunch of different cracked gems. This is of course very, very, concerning, but I can't do anything about it until after my stupid appointment.
Which I apparently can't miss for the damn world! I groan and lean my head against the back of the chair. I glance over at an empty chair where Yellow would be.
She is once again off planet, this time, she took White with her to investigate what's or who's been cracking and almost shattering all these gems.
I asked her if I could come with her, cause most of the gems that have been badly damaged are from one of my old colonies and court. But she very quickly shut that down.
I highly suspect that it is the work of a somewhat large rebellion that's been going on, but if I try to talk to any of the cracked gems, they either have no memory of what happened or they just poof themselves over and over again from the sheer memory of what happened to them.
So the only information we've gotten is that it's been happening on one of my colonies. I nervously run my hand through my brushed, soft, hair.
I let out a soft gasp as one of the little gemlings kick me, I look down at my baby bump, I smirk as I lightly make circles on it with my nail.
"You're impatient too, aren't you" I coo "hopefully just a few more minutes, then I get to see your colors" I look up at the clock behind the little receptions desk "and I should ask the medical pearl if we can take any pictures..." I mutter to myself.
Finally, a few more minutes go by and the medical pearl calls me to a different room.
The new room has dark blue walls, grey tiled floors, and one big metal table and no waiting chairs, it also has the scanner, waiting to be used.
I carefully push myself onto the cold table and lie down, I groan as soon as my stiff back hits the table. The small green medical pearl climbs onto the table, I effortlessly phase away part of my dress so my baby belly can be scanned.
The small pearl tucks away a strand of her green hair behind her ear as she climbs onto me. She empties an entire bottle of freezing cold gel and tosses the bottle on the ground.
The little gem hops off of me and runs to grab the scanner. "Hey, umm I have a question" I softly shift on the table.
"Hmm?" The medical pearl replies as she tries to untangle the wire.
"Don't you need to angle the screen or something? So you know, I can see the gemlings?" I ask.
"What? Oh yes" the pearl's soft voice floats through the almost empty room. She grabs the side of the scanner and turns it towards me "is that better?"
I simply nod. The medical pearl finally untangles the scanner wires and climbs back onto me. She spreads the gel around with her hand before she uses the scanner.
I shiver from the still very cold gel, the screen part starts to make a noise so my eyes instantly snap towards the screen.
To my amazement, both gemlimgs are surprisingly large, since the screen is almost black and white, I can barely see a hint of color on both of them. The larger of the two is a very light shade of blue with a hint of green, and the smaller one is a dark shade of green with splotches of very light green.
I slightly frown when I look at the second gemling. She...she shouldn't be two different colors. Puzzled, I stare at the small pearl, looking for answers.
She shakily meets my eyes, "I-I'm sorry Blue Diamond, I've never seen this happen before" she tucks a few strands of her mossy green hair behind her ear "I'm going a-assuming that, when your two gemlimgs combined, their colors merged?"
"I'm not too sure, but congratulations, you still have fairly healthy gemlings, and you know what colors they are so planning their room shouldn't be a problem," and with that done, the small medical pearl quickly leaves the room before I can even get a word out.
I scoff, what an unprofessional pearl. I push myself up and immediately phase the rest of my dress on. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about her.
I gently and slowly slide off the metal table, once-off I immediately head for the door. I wrap the veil that I brought with me tightly around me. I waste no time walking to my room, not even bothering to say hello to anyone.
As soon as those big doors behind me close, I unwrap the dark blue veil and throw it on the carpet. I quickly summon a floating blue screen and I hurriedly send Yellow and White a message about the gemlings and what little the pearl said.
I smack my head with my hand, I completely forgot to ask the pearl is it is possible to send some pictures to Yellow and White. Oh well...
As soon as that's done, I lightly toss myself onto my very soft bed. I bury myself under the velvety blue sheets, I sigh and close my eyes.
"Next week will be somewhat exciting, cause next week Yellow will finally let us go off-planet alone!" I exclaim to no one but myself and the gemlings.
I trace large circles on my baby belly, they become smaller and slower as I unexpectedly fall asleep.
(The next week)
I let out a bored sigh as I scroll through what seems like endless reports, more than half of them are bull-shit excuses for "reports", telling me that I'm "sooo" lucky that I'm having gemlings. Usually, Blue Pearl and a few other gems help manage the reports that come flooding in, but a lot of congratulations still manage to pass through...
But nevertheless, I must read most of them, and I suspect that Blue Pearl and the other gems allow so many of the stupid "reports" as a means to cheer me up.  But I don't need a constant reminder that I have a due date (or a death date as I once called it).
"Pearl, Pyrobes," they boredly glance at me "You all are dismissed. Feel free to take the rotation off" I dismiss them, they nod and quietly leave me alone with my thoughts.
I glumly look out the window to my left, and for miles upon miles all I see are beautiful blue trees with gold leaves with blooming purple flowers.
I look back at my screen and ignore all the reports, I decide to pull up a very old report about this planet.
Planetoid name: Planet 2064 (aka The Oasis)
Location: Around one thousand light-years away from homeworld
Abandoned: Yes
Reason for abandonment (skip over if it was successful): no more materials, to many organics, and large mountains will randomly produce a green liquid that can melt anything
Water coverage: 22% water 78% land
Organics (skip over if none have been found): a lot of organic plants, and a lot of unintelligent flying organics that can breathe water
Diamond ownership: Blue Diamond
How many moons: Three, one with organic plants, and two are mainly just water
Most materials: Silicon, iron, copper, and other minerals. Used to be good for making lapis lazulis and possibly sapphires
Notes: My diamond, the peridots have said that we are running low on materials and the huge mountains that are scattered across the land are filled to the brim with a slimy green liquid that can melt anything, even gems! (But somehow the organics that walk or fly this planet seem to be immune to the liquid so, I and a few others have managed to capture a few to study). So, we have left this planet and await your orders.
-Calcite cut 9l3
I get a random urge to quickly dismiss the screen and get up from my throne, I slam my hand on the panel that opens the doors in front of me. I am greeted by three flights of stairs. I shuffle carefully down the stairs, trying not to slip on my good dress or anything else.
Once i'm on the ground floor I spot Pearl sitting in a chair sketching. "Pearl" I call her name, she slowly looks up at me "I'm going out for a short walk, message me if there are any real emergencies" she silently nods as I open the blue doors in front of me.
I haven't even taken a step outside and I'm already drenched in sweat from how humid the dense jungle is. I let out a slight groan as I put my long light blue hair into a ponytail.
I shift my dress to make it looser then before and I end it just below my knees. I finally start my walk into the muggy jungle, I cautiously make sure that I don't step on any little organics that might be around and so I don't trip on any of the roots of the blue trees.
I could very easily walk around the entire moon in about a few cycles, the moon itself is rather small but with it's very dense (but pretty) jungles, it'd probably take me about a rotation to actually do it. I continue to go deeper and deeper into the jungle, I stop when I come across a small river.
I carefully maneuver my way onto the river bed. The water is an unusually dark shade of blue with very reflective rocks at the bottom.
I stay there for a few minutes until a twig snaps behind me, I whip my head around to where the noise came from. I quickly scramble I onto my feet, my hand hovers over my gem, itching to summon my weapon.
A few seconds go by as anxiety seeps into me, this time the noise of some foliage being moved makes me quickly summon my weapon and turn my entire body towards the second noise.
"Hello?" I nervously call out. I get into a defensive position with my long, blue, scythe. This time it only has one deadly sharp watery blade, but at the end of the long handle is a short little knife.
No one answers, so I lower my defensive position but not my guard. The jungle gets eerily quiet, but the running water seems to be drowning out any other noises.
I slowly turn to face the creek, my nerves are still going crazy, screaming at me that I should run away or do something that isn't just standing there.
And then it all happens very quickly, the second my eyes move down to the small stream a gem lunges at me, but I easily slice it in half.
As soon as it poofs more gems come out of the surrounding trees and bushes. Most I recognize as old quartzes and agates that used to serve me and the other diamonds, they quickly surround me but I slice through a line of them. But more seem to pour out of the forest.
I sigh, as I know that this isn't going to go well for any of us.
"What do you want from me?"  I cry. Many of them pull out their weapons, most have swords or whips, while the ones in the far back have bows.
"Isn't it obvious?" A fairly large four-armed gem steps out from the crowd. She has three eyes, one black and two blue. Her long curly, black and baby blue, hair stops right at her waist.
On her chest is a gem that resembles a sapphire, but the colors are all wrong. Instead of the gorgeous blue it would probably be, it has stripes of black in it. And on her left forearm is another gen, but it resembles a black jasper with stripes of blue in it. And her outfit is a mixture of the old quartz uniforms with a blue diamond on it and a mixture of the sapphire's dress, giving them a short striped skirt.
"N-no. Not really" I try to mask my ever-growing fear.
"Well, then, allow me to explain" the Jasper and Sapphire fusion draws her own weapon, which probably hasn't changed besides the color. Out of the jasper's gem, they pull out a long spikey whip.
"Me and my, heh, friends here" she gestures to the other gems that surrounds me "have decided to riot, or better yet! We've decided to start our own little rebellion!"
"Although it's not very small" she adds as she scratches her chin.
I can feel sweat beads roll down my face, also my gut feels like it's about to send up my breakfast. I take a deep breath in, trying to calm my nerves, but the fusion seemed to notice.
She laughs an evil, wicked, and empty laugh. "Are you, the great, all-powerful, lustrous, Blue Diamond scared?" The fusion smirks "I hope you understand that I'm not going to hurt you" she pauses, then smiles again "well, let me backtrack on that, I'm not going to poof you"
I grip my scythe even tighter then before, waiting for someone to move. "You know I can slice through all of you, like cake" I grit through my teeth
"I'm not sure what cake is, but I seriously doubt that. You see, while you may be bigger then us and faster, I do have numbers on my side, and future vision."
"I know for a fact that the future is never set in stone" I growl.
She laughs again, "you may be right my dear, buuut, I do see many, many, many, possibilities where you come with us" she gives me an unnerving smile "most of them you are unconscious."
And it is at that moment where I snap and swing my sharp blade at her, but she ducks and the deadly blade only grazes her head.
"Attack" she grins evilly.
Almost all of the archers that surround me release their arrows, most of them whistle past me while a few get stuck in my hair.
The first of many waves of gems come rushing towards me, I slice through them with ease. But it isn't until the second wave of small arrows are released that I realize I'm possibly fucked.
Once again, most of the arrows manage to miss me, which I smirk at, but a few have actually managed to dig into my arms, neck, and back.
I let out a slight whimper as the gemlimgs painfully move inside me. But I stupidly work through the pain, cutting down more and more of the small fusion's forces.
I take a split second break to look at their face. But I frown as I see her smiling smugly like she has won the battle. Which, I fear she has.
I spend at least five more minutes, barely poofing any more of the fusion's soldiers. I, unfortunately, can feel myself losing energy quickly, my muscles start to burn, the pain in my belly is starting to flare up more, and I can see myself get more sluggish by the second.
As soon as I cut through the last of the archers, I hear the fusion curse to herself. I smirk as I quickly get the upper hand, I've definitely cut through more than three-fourths of her troops.
"You—don't need to—do this," I say between breaths.
"Yes, I do, you don't understand. I have a very flawless plan" she runs a stripped hand through her hair.
"Would you care to tell?" I ask.
She laughs a very, very, empty laugh "Ah, my diamond, you're very funny. I unfortunately have to say no to that request."
Out of nowhere, pain wracks through my entire system. I fall hard onto my knees and I painfully clutch onto my baby belly.
"Ah-ha!" The fusion points at me "Didn't I tell you! I knew she would be beaten" the fusion happily talks to herself.
She shakes away her joy and walks up to my face, "aaand, didn't Yellow Diamond warn you about the dangers of stressing yourself out too much?" The gem taunts.
"F-fuck—y-you" I barely say through the pain. Exhaustion seeps quietly into me, over masked by all the pain I feel.
"Don't worry you're pretty little head, I told you I'm not going to poof you. Although I would've liked to do that, but you're much, much more valuable to me in this state" the fusion uses two of her four arms to summon something.
The sound of an engine turning on catches my attention. My tired eyes slide upwards, and something very big and shiny appears in my line of sight.
"I-is that a ship?" I weakly ask "where did you get that?" I whisper the last part to myself.
"Good job! Ten points to you" the gem summons a large black bubble around us.
"Where—where are you taking me?" I tiredly ask.
"Hmm, a cell" the fusion chirps "if you'd like a more specific answer, far away...away from this place...in space!"
I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I'm in a large room, with no windows, and the only exit large a large electric wall that will definitely hurt if I touch it.
I move onto my stiff back, I stare up at the metal ceiling....This is going to be a longer journey than expected..
Dammit...
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