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#and idk if nick is still doing that series where he watches all the hp movies for the first time but it's like. why would you want to do
thereal-linh-cinder · 4 years
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Cinder’s Notes on Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets
We’re back with CoS!
Again, massive spoilers for the entire HP series (obviously)
Woo the hell plans where theyre going to stand when dinner guests arrive? you seem so unbelievably inhuman, which, i suppose the Dursleys are, but still...
DUDLEY’S COMPLIMENT FOR MRS. MASON
Because Harry is an unreliable narrator, is it possible that the Dursleys treat him slightly better than is described? Unlikely, but something to consider
Harry is so humble?
He’s also hilarious “[Voldemort] hasnt got a brother, has he?”
bars on the window are a bit extreme
the twins ooze chaotic energy
are the owls that wizards use magical? they always seem to understand humans VERY well...or is it just magic that gives magic folk a better connection w animals? Or is that just how owls are? Or do I just not understand how carrier birds work? 
rather convinient that only the bottom stair creaks and not like. the 13th from the top or something
“Draco made Dudley sound sweet” i mean. childish bullying at school  vs physical abuse for years but ok go off jkr
the twins are 14 and driving a car. in Britain. where you have to be 18. chaos
Mrs. Weasley reminds me way too much of my own mother
Percy wears sweater vests confirmed (are we surprised)
Please take a moment to imagine Percy’s reaction to Hermione becoming Minister
Lockhart + Rita Skeeter (idk what this means but its in my notes)
“got the impression that Snape could read minds” 👀
Lockhart is just gonna go through the whole rainbow huh
Lockhart really compared Harry almost DYING to him winning that stupid smile award. Bruh.
Lockhart has 7 books
I feel bad for Nick :(
There’s so much about the Vanishing Cabinets in this book!
that moment with the salamander and the firework is a gem
Do Ron and Hermione at least hear hissing in the walls?
so Lockhart is basically running the Hogwarts theatre department huh
why was Ron’s first thought toenails
Scarhead? Thats the BEST insult you can come up with, Malfoy? 
Yeah, let the 12y/o deal with the rogue bludger on his own, y’hear? (can you tell I’m a lot older now)
Honestly, Madame Pomfrey? Kinda a savage
If Voldemort was 70 when he died in ‘98, and he went to school with Lucius, how old is Lucius? 
Technically, if all purebloods are related, Harry IS a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Not the heir obvs, but you know
honestly when you think about it, Fawkes’s death is hilarious. Like Harry’s just chillin and sees a cool bird and then it spontaneously combusts 
Did Crabbe and Goyle ever get their shoes back? 
Ron has REALLY good intuition
Why do they still have Riddle’s trophy on display? Like yeah not many people know that he’s Voldemort but that just feels like the equivalent of like...keeping up a trophy for the kid that turned out to be a sch**l sh**ter
Ok but the younger Weasleys have this knack for bullying Voldy. Twins pelted him with snowballs, Ginny flushed his diary down a toilet, Ron barfed slugs all over his special award....
well Harry if its a DIARY where you conventionally write personal stuff about your day or your crush, why are we surprised that it doesnt even have stuff like “dentist” and “aunt mary’s birthday” or “half past 3″ written in it
RON’S INTUITION BRUH “[the diary] coud be dangerous” “maybe [Tom Riddle] murdered Myrtle] yall know that theory abt him being a seer? yeah
I adore these characters so much bc theyre so real?? Lke we truly watch them grow up. Something about the way 11y/o Ginny covers her face and runs away vs how she acts in the later books just. I adore it. 
So this is where I broke my own heart and froze for a solid 15 minutes. I was beginning to write “I hope the twins sang ‘His Eyes Are As Green As A Fresh Pickled Toad’ at their wedding” before I realized that only one twin got to attend Harry & Ginny’s wedding. I trailed off at the S in twins and you can see how shaky my hand got in the writing (i wrote all of this out in a journal)
Riddle’s personality is so well preserved. (and then I remembered that he made his first horcrux that year and THATS why bc this is 16/17 y/o voldy’s soul)
In Riddle’s memory, he stops by the potions room after speaking to Dumbledore on the staircase. Slughorn is teaching that year. Harry says he is stuck outside that room for “what felt like an hour.” Is this where Tom asks about horcruxes? Technically at this point, Myrtle has already been murdered and its been a while but I’m p sure he asks about horcruxes after class one day. But idk. It really seems plausible, and It’s possible that he altered the memory to show Harry...
this is my least favorite book so i just wrote “this is the most boring book. I’m skimming.”
ah forcing 12 y/o to choose a career path
Quidditch mathces are EARLY (im used to sports matches in the evenings but i guess soccer matches are early and such so it makes sense) (my american is showing)
Is sitting at any table allowed? I never understood that and it used to bug me in the movies. Is it only required to sit at your House table during important feasts? Is that how a lot of inter-house relationships come to be? 
Fudge’s wardrobe was ROBBED in the movie. They really made him look like an established businessman when when we first meet the man, he’s wearing a pinstriped suit, scarlet tie, POINTED PURPLE SHOES and honestly woud it have been so hard to at least give him the lime green bowler hat? Such a staple of his personality
i feel like we tend to forget that hagrid has been to Azkaban
Ron saw Draco being racist and had to be physically held back by his friends. Mans was ready to THROW HANDS. 10/10 absolute icon
The prejudice against werewolves is very prominent.They clearly dont know a lot about them/arent taught (constantly expecting to find them roaming the forbidden forest EVERY NIGHT)
literally WHAT would they do without Hermione
still shocked that Hermione Jean Granger would willingly rip a page out of a book, especially a library book. But maybe thats just the fact that I’m the daughter of a librarian.
is the basilisk page from Fantastic Beasts? They really called it “a page from an old book” its literally in ur first year curriculum but ok boys
Why did Ron toss Lockhart’s wand out the window? He couldve used it instead of his spellotaped one. Granted, it wouldnt have been very good later on if he had, but. You know?
if this Tom is just an imprint of Voldy’s soul at 16/17, how does he even know who Harry is
he already has voldy’s laugh
OH Ginny told him about Harry that makes sense
Voldemort is SO dramatic. Imagine your buddy Tom one day says “hello dearest closest friends, I’ve decided I hate my name so I tried to make an acronym. Please only refer to me as Voldemort from now on. Also I could spell Lord with my name, so I am claiming my new status as a Lord.”
Also he’s holding Harry’s wand. Why is he sending this ginormous, super sow snake after this tiny scrawny 12y/o? Just kill him yourself. Even when Harry gets poisoned Tom’s like “take ur time bro imma watch u die i have nothing better to do” and only when neither of those first tow extra af options DO NOT WORK does he think “oh well guess i gotta use this WAND now ugh” like was he just not corporeal enough to actually use the wand yet or???? Buddy. If you really wanted Harry dead I feel like you could do better.
the fang SPLINTERED in Harry’s arm????????????????? uhm
Harry gets covered in ink a lot in the series
Dumbledore is such a simp for Voldemort honestly
I forget that Harry & Ron get trophies for special services too bro
did Arthur create the Muggle Protection Act???
...why DOES Lucius have Voldy’s old school things? 
Harry and Ron got a total of 400 points for this. But only 10 FOR TAKING OUT A TROLL AT AGE 11 
Lucius is LITERALLY on the PTA hes a school governor 
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