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#and i've spent a week on making this
thestateofspirit · 2 years
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Sooo...I made this 💚
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*is proud of self*
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dreamaboutwhathappens · 4 months
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what a year the past seven months have been
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martyryo · 22 days
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I can't be trusted with colors.
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genericpuff · 2 months
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vent post
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#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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sparkysomething · 1 year
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listen I know comics are well-known to be rather... inconsistent, and I know everyone talks about how Jason Todd especially got cast in a really negative light after his death in ways that were not really consistent with how his Robin run actually went, but like
no one told me that actually reading it was going to make me feel like I’m having a fucking stroke
#dc#dc comics#jason todd#like it doesn't help that i'm reading by character#so i've basically spent the last week speed running the fuck out of every jason related comic#which means it's all VERY fresh for me#and the direct contradictions are all SO blatant#clearest offense currently is how when jason was robin bruce said he had 'no great abundance of self-esteem#and the first moment he sees reanimated jason he says he's 'arrogant as ever'#most egregious offense is bruce saying that jason died because he saw being robin as a game#which to be fair is a word jason did use#right before bruce benched him as robin#except he said '/all/ life's a game' with a vaguely manic expression on his face#and apparently mr. world's greatest detective over here is taking that expressed worldview as a personality trait#rather than a clear sign of his ward's deteriorating mental state#except oh wait he /did/ think it meant something was upsetting jason and THAT'S WHY HE BENCHED HIM#idk it's just making me feel a tiny bit crazy right now that bruce took in a literal fucking child#who had already been through so much#and instead of getting him any actual help#he taught him to fight and exposed him to more and more awful shit#the kind of shit people usually at least TRY to protect kids from#even teenagers#or at least try to help them process after#and then he has the actual nerve to talk shit about him for his rage issues#like he doesn't always blame jason for it#sometimes he does blame himself#but uhh there are those contradictions again
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just-somedude · 2 months
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lienwyn · 10 days
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Kang Yo Han in his natural habitat, as observed by Kim Ga On
OR
You want to fuck that old man so bad it makes you look stupid
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the-bastard-king · 4 months
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Okay, I AM FINALLY DONE WITH THIS THING. Or as done as I think I'll ever get it to be. If you like HGSN and long-winded theory/essay things then this might be the post for you!
But also I cannot promise that a) any of this will be news to anyone or b) that I'll get through this post without at least once giving someone cause to imagine I look like this:
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Okay so to preface, this idea started when I was rambling here about "Hikaru" being a general menace (affectionate), and got some very cool responses from some other cool blogs. And me, being me, couldn't stop thinking so one idea quickly spiraled into having eighteen more that had me re-reading and taking notes on literally everything that caught my attention (like only half of which made it in here if I'm being real.)
L̸͉̭̀͜Ë̵̘͚̬̪́̔͒̐T̶̡͈̹̬̖̠͓̘́͊̾̉̎͂́͋̋'̴̩̣̙̪̥̺̬̇́̔̍́̇̿͠S̸̢̧̹͉̠̗͓̠̬̈́̋̂̇̓̋̊̀̀ ̶̡͔͇̬͔̭͇̔̕ͅG̸̩̒O̴͉̼̝̺͔̙͕͎̝͂͝O̵̠̙͌̕Ö̵̻̠̪͚̋̉͋̄͒̎̐Ǫ̴̝̹̰̫̮̦͉̎̒O̶̝̞͎̎̀̒O̴͉̺̖͙̎̓̂͋̌̾
So let's establish some base line stuff first before I get into any of the actual meat of this post:
"Hikaru's" eyes usually do this:
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Then in chapter 20 and 22 they started doing this:
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It is pretty much confirmed that "Hikaru" is a god/deity, existing outside the circle of reincarnation. So in chapter 15, when he says he is 'alive' (生きてる/ikiteru) but doesn't have a 'life' (命/inochi/lifeforce), being outside of that circle is what he's referring to.
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Reincarnation is a major tenant of Buddhism.
Right now, there are four known names for the god/deity/presence(s) that existed on the mountain: "Hikaru", the Great Brainsnatcher, Unuki-sama (ウヌキ様), and Nounuki-sama (ノイヌキ様).
(The only kanji here, 様 [sama], is merely an honorific meaning Mr./Ms/etc or it serves to make a sentence more polite [which I'm assuming most people know, but just in case]. Worth noting however, that it can also be in reference to the way someone is acting/how they compose themselves.)
The manga has not yet specifically clarified whether or not these four are the same entity, though we can assume that they are all connected in a myriad of ways and at the very least that "Hikaru" is the Great Brainsnatcher, on account of, you know, the theft of Hikaru's brain. However, in regards to the manga not technically clarifying, hold onto this thought for later, especially regarding Nounuki and Unuki.
When they speak to Matsuura-san Jr. at the library in ch. 18 (forgive the name but I have to distinguish between her and her mother somehow), she says: "The Great Brainsnatcher is a god from the mountains. It was said it was one who would grant somethin' in exchange [for] a special offering."
She also mentions tatarigami, implying that the Great Brainsnatcher became one at some point due to a famine that struck the village(s).
Tatarigami are malevolent spirits/fallen gods of immense destruction and chaos. The most popular instance in media that I can think of that has a tatarigami in it is Princess Mononoke. (The boar god, Nago, is taken over by demons, and ends up becoming a tatarigami before being shot down by Ashitaka in the opening scene.)
"Hikaru's" insides are white and black. But right before Matsuura-san Sr. dies at the end of chapter two- allegedly by "Hikaru's" hand, mind you- all we see is a black shadow.
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Okay, cool, so now that we have all of that out of the way, here is were I super suggest you go read (or at least skim) my mythology post about the god Kangiten, the Daikon Radish, and Yoshiki being 'sweet' if you haven't already. It will come into major play from this point forward.
And with that being said, I'm going to split the rest of this post up by stating different points of my theory (or multiple theories I guess??) and then explaining and providing context for each one after.
Theory 1: The Indous are not afraid of the god on the mountain.
I'm going to specify and say that I think their relationship with that god is very different than it is for anyone else who knows about the 'presence' up there. Feeling more as if a) this god watches over the Indous, or b) the god trusts the Indous more than other humans and they are the only ones it allows to get close.
There might be a point C, but for right now I am just going to say I very much get the feeling that the Indous are not specifically this god's "jailer", and I think their sole point of contact with this god isn't just to perform a ritual to keep it contained, regardless of how some of the other older villagers act. There's a few reasons for this, and some are more conjecture/up in the air, like how I feel like no one really knows what the ritual the Indous do even is, and how Hikaru's dad feels very disconnected from the other older folks who Tanaka speaks with over the course of the series. But then, there are also reasons that I feel go a bit too far past coincidence for me to not take notice of them.
In reference to my Daikon Radish post, I genuinely believe the god Matsuura Jr. talks about (Unuki-sama) is somehow connected or inspired by the god Kangiten. And as such, here's a quote from the god Kangiten's Wikipedia page:
On the one hand, he is popularly revered as an extremely efficacious god who grants whatever is asked of him without fail, including impossible wishes. He is also said to watch over those who have a karmic connection with him from the moment of their conception, serving as their invisible companion throughout their lives.
My understanding is that a karmic connection (which is also a part of Buddhist tradition) is when two people find each other and work through some sort of lesson born of their past lives to resolve a karmic debt.
And of course I couldn't help but think about the Indous upon reading the that portion of his wiki. Especially since they seem to have a very unique connection to the god on the mountains/Unuki. For the other villagers Unuki-sama seems to be an object of fear, but for the Indous, they regard the god with some sort of... familiarity(?) An example of this is not just how we see the Indous interact with it, but also because of how "Hikaru" himself acts.
For example:
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Hikaru's grandfather calls Unuki san instead of sama, implying a closer connection with Unuki/the god. Granted, this could be a personal relationship between Hikaru's grandfather and Unuki-sama, but like I said, I doubt it, and my doubt only grew stronger when I got around to re-reading the scene where Hikaru dies.
(I'd settle for anyone as long as they) go keep him company in [my] place.
Hikaru made a wish for this terrible, unknowable god to keep his friend- to keep Yoshiki- from being alone. He could have asked for any impossible wish (including not dying??) but instead he made a wish that gave way to the the Brainsnatcher being able to leave the mountain and not only sate its own loneliness, but Yoshiki's as well.
We may not know Hikaru well, seeing as there is only like two flash backs of him in the entire manga (I might be exaggerating, but the point is there is painfully little of the real him actually seen anywhere, he is the definition of haunting the narrative). But judging from what we do know, Hikaru cared about Yoshiki enough to want to keep him from being lonely. So really, truly, why would he have asked this of the GB if he thought there was even a chance it could be a horrible spirit of chaos and violence? Sure, shock, pain, and blood loss can do horrible things to you, but from a narrative standpoint, I don't think it makes much sense to do something with his last damn breath that could deliberately endanger Yoshiki?
And finally, all of that also makes me think of "Hikaru's" far more tender expression here:
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"Hikaru" doesn't feel like the ritual failing is why he was able to leave, and perhaps it is obvious and I'm just barking up a fallen tree, but I'm inclined to believe the only reason "Hikaru" was able to come down from the mountains is simply because Hikaru Indou wished him to.
Theory 2: I think the village(s) owe a karmic debt and in some way or another the Indous are the ones responsible for the upkeep on this debt.
Hikaru's grandfather specifically comments, "This village... [???] The karma runs deep..."
@entertext's translation of ch. 17.2 says that the village 'bears a heavy karma from a long time ago.'
(The middle, seemingly unintelligible part is the same in the OG pages as it is in the scanlation screenshot above. Some of it looks like it might be in a cursive, but I will be real the extent of my experience with Japanese cursive is that one chapter of Blue Exorcist where Rin being illiterate is reality for moment there until Shura realizes it's in cursive and she also can't read it, so I don't think that's a good sign my horrifically dyslexic ass has a good shot at deciphering it either. But I digress-)
I will be real with you, I don't have too much to go on with this one. We know these things for sure though. (Spoilers for untranslated chapters.)
There is someone in "Hikaru's" memories from the past that looks like they could be related to Hikaru, who carried a severed head up to (most likely) the place literally named 'Severed Head' and came face to face with Unuki-sama/"Hikaru".
(Ch. 22.3) There were large amounts of bones found in each of the villages and each type of bone was specific to the name of the village where it was found (Udekari=arms, etc). The skulls were the only bones never found, so one can assume this means they are somewhere in or around Kubitachi.
The Indous are the only ones who seem to be able to go up to the mountain and survive. Yes, Hikaru and his father died while there, but the grandfather hasn't (yet 😬) and there's decent enough evidence that, at the very least, Hikaru's father went up there himself on multiple occasions.
Hikaru took 'a person's head' on his final hike (according to Tanaka), presumably to complete the ritual and potentially just like his ancestor had (except that was with an actual head, of course).
Chapter three ends with a flashback to something Hikaru's dad said when Hikaru was a kid. He said that if Hikaru ever had a girl he liked, he should marry her quickly, or else 'the Great Unuki' would take her to the mountain. He also said that Unuki promised not to lay hands on humans of the Indou family, so any girl or guy Hikaru liked would only be safe after the they got married. *gestures vaguely upwards to Theory 1*
Hikaru: Why does it take them? Dad: Because it's lonely, it may whisk [away] someone dear to the family and replace them. It could take away the people most important to you.
So perhaps, the village(s) in some way or another angered Unuki-sama and the Indou's were tasked with doing the leg work for making up for the misdeeds done unto the god. This leg work, presumably, is carrying 'heads' up to the mountain to keep the lonely god company. Then, over time, this could have awarded Unuki the nickname 'The Great Brainsnatcher' on account of there usually being brains inside heads, y'know?
And what could the village(s) have done to upset Unuki-sama so much? I'm thinking perhaps they took away someone who kept the god company (and maybe killed them?) I imagine this likely would have happened around the time of famine Matsuura Jr. talked about in the library, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if whatever this event was that caused such anger involved some sort of cannibalism. Which may feel a bit out of place, but I say it on account of a piece of lore surrounding Kangiten (AKA Vinayaka).
In another legend recorded in a medieval Japanese iconographic compendium known as the Kakuzenshō, Vinayaka was originally the king of a country called Marakeira, who only ate beef and radishes. When these became rare, he started feasting on human corpses; when these too became scarce, he began to eat living people. His subjects eventually revolted and were about to kill the king when he transformed himself into "the great demon king Vinayaka."
-via Wikipedia
And that is a perfect segue into my third theory.
Theory 3: Nounuki-sama is a tatarigami born of Unuki-sama after whatever incident happened between it and the villages.
There have been some very excellent posts that talk about Mokumokuren's use of shadows when it comes to "Hikaru" and I'm going to continue to play into that here just a little bit.
Like I pointed out before, when Matsuura Sr. dies, all that we can really see of what MIGHT be "Hikaru" is a black shadow. We don't know for sure that what killed her is actually "Hikaru", but it is sure as hell implied to be him.
But also... "Hikaru" doesn't seem to be too sure of his actions himself?
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He has said twice now by my count that he would not lie to Yoshiki, and since we have no evidence to deny that claim (so far anyway), I am inclined to believe that when he says he doesn't know if he killed old lady Matsuura, that he truly doesn't know.
And I think I have an idea is to why.
From what I've noticed, there is always some piece of "Hikaru's" face that is lit up, even when he's doing something menacing such as literally taking a step towards Asako to kill her.
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The exceptions to this rule seem to be Matsuura Sr's death, and also, the end of chapter twenty. 🙃
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I rambled about this scene a lot in my very first link at the top of this post, and to be frank, these four pages are, to me, the most unnerving in HGSN by far. Maybe even some of the most unnerving I've seen period, and part of it is how we never once see "Hikaru's" face. We don't know what expression he's making, we don't know what he might be feeling; hell, we can't even hear him because of the unique horror reading things off a page can bring. We have no clues to his state of mind. We only one set of eyes that aren't doing the bleeding iris thing we're used to, a intense focus on Yoshiki's soul, and darkness.
And potentially the worst/most unnerving part of it all is that "Hikaru" doesn't seem to remember what he was even doing there to begin with. I don't think it's a coincidence that "Hikaru" is having a hard time remembering both this scene and Matsuura Sr's death.
Part of what drew me to this manga was the fact that "Hikaru" was described as an Eldritch creature/god, and by nature, Eldritch gods are unknowable. Your brain cannot fully comprehend what you're seeing when you look upon them and that lack of comprehension is what drives you mad. "Hikaru" is a god, and he is a god with a borrowed brain; full of thoughts and feelings and memories that all belonged to one young, incredibly human boy. He is a god with constant access to all of the humanity that Hikaru had to offer, and I don't believe there's any way he could come away from that sort of exposure 'unscathed'.
We already know "Hikaru" doesn't feel as if he had thoughts or feelings or a purpose before taking on Hikaru's body. He wandered on that mountain for years in a supposed haze before granting Hikaru's impossible wish that freed him. And we also know what Rie said about the mountain:
If you head towards Kubitachi, there's a mountain that's off limits, right? I've long felt something ominous emanating from there. I just know there's something terrible lurking there. But recently that ominous feeling disappeared into thin air. 'Gee, I wonder where it went? I'm a little scared-' went my thoughts. Until I realized that "it" is right by your side.
I find it interesting that there was a malevolent presence that was so strong that Rie could feel it without even being on the mountain, but then the moment "Hikaru" gets a body, he becomes harder to suss out. And perhaps that is because, as otherworldly and terrifying as "Hikaru" can be, the creature we know isn't truly this malevolent god that everyone fears. But maybe, the "Hikaru" we see at the end of chapter 20 is. I think who we see in the dark is Nounuki, as opposed to Unuki.
And before I say anything else, I feel like I should clarify that I am absolutely not trying to imply that "Hikaru" has some sort of split/multiple personality thing. I think this malevolence/tatarigami is more like a chronic physical illness and/or chronic pain issue that has flare-ups. Potentially even something like mono that lurks in your body for years until it finds the perfect opportunity to rear its head and trigger the cold symptoms again. (Or if I were to veer away from the analogy, something that reminds "Hikaru" of whatever incident caused him to become a tatarigami in the first place?)
And as for the memory loss?
He's an unknowable deity, so maybe just enough of "Hikaru" is human after he took over Hikaru's body, that he is also unable to know himself- or at least, not the full extent of himself. If we think of Unuki-sama and Nounuki-sama as two sides of the same coin then it makes sense that when the coin is flipped to the more godly Nounuki side, that it would be more difficult for "Hikaru" to remember those moments later on when the coin turns over again.
I also think this is why his eyes have been doing something different since the end of chapter 20 and it only makes me all the more nervous/excited to see what's going to happen in the next update after leaving us on that terrifying last panel.
And with that I am done; please forgive the super abrupt ending, I have no idea what else to say without running around in circles more than I fear I already have.
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sketch-wolf · 1 year
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This was supposed to be a simple doodle of mew but then my hand just kept on going. Happy Ace Week everyone 🖤🤍💜
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silverskye13 · 2 months
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For the record! I'm going to apologize now and say it's probably going to be a hot minute before a new RnS chapter comes out [a week, maybe two]. I have encountered some issues that need sorted.
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razzzletazzle · 9 months
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title: Jacob's Ladder (read on ao3)
rating: G
summary: Digging for scraps in order to survive another barren winter, the boys find something far more precious than a space heater. The baby they pick up might not keep them warm, but he gives them something far more important: a reason to fight for the future.
inspired by this amazing art by @tapakah0 !
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Dawn crawled into morning, sun peeking over the horizon, shining pale light on the razed town. Mounts of piled destruction littered the broken streets, heaping around the cracked and folded-together asphalt. Homes stood here, once, but now only skeletons remained, a glimpse of a simpler past found in the bright pink bike handle peeking out from under fallen walls, its purple glitter tassel rustling in a barely-there breeze.
Leo dug his hands deeper into the pile of debris he was sitting on. Sharp edges threatened to nick his hands, but he ignored the almost painful scrape against his scales.
Winter was almost at their doorstep, Autumn rolling further into dark, further into cold. Barely any snow fell anymore, but the nights and days had gotten more cutting, the cold had grown sharper teeth. If they wanted to make it through the coming season, they needed supplies. Clothes, blankets, machinery that Donnie could fix up or use to make new, better ones. Anything that would keep them alive and, if they were lucky, somewhat comfortable.
Rays of sun filtered from behind wispy clouds, finally finding him and his brothers. They brought him no warmth.
Leo tossed a broken phone – snapped clean in two and hanging on by force of will alone, the top and bottom parts crushed up almost past the point of being recognizable – over his shoulder. It clattered down the hill and onto the street below, where it either lay still, flat at the bottom of the pile, or disappeared into one of the giant cracks in the road. The noise echoed, only for a moment, and then all was quiet again, the only sound the scraping of concrete as their two strongest moved giant slabs out of the way, and the grind of small stones, wood, and whatever else was buried in the pile where he and Donnie were digging for scraps.
It was dull – almost oppressive, the silence that clung to his family. To himself, too, now, far too often. Sure, they still laughed, they still found comfort in each other, they were still there, but it was almost like they were muted, and Leo's fingers itched to turn the brightness back up. The need to speak, to fill the unbearable quiet, bubbled in his chest and clawed up his throat.  Sometimes Leo ignored it, this pressing urge, swallowed it back and pushed it down, hoping it would settle and ease. But sometimes he couldn't suppress it, the sight and lack of sound too heavy to endure.
A laugh, at the very least, would sound heavenly right now.
So he sighed, and he groaned, drawn-out and grossly exaggerated, and tossed his head onto his shoulder to look at Donnie, working diligently next to him. Leo's arms were still buried, half-way up to his elbows, in the debris.
"There's nothing but junk here."
He might've counted the familiar pull of Donnie's scowl as his first, small step towards victory, if Donnie's tone wasn't so tight.
"Of course it's all junk." Leo twitched at the edge that sharpened the words. "But it's your job to find the parts that aren't total scrap and give them to me so I can decide whether it's usable or not."
"I've done this before, you know," Leo muttered, and saw Donnie's scowl deepen out of the corner of his eyes. "I'm just saying, we've been at this for thirty minutes and we've found zilch."
There was a comment curling around Donnie's lips, Leo could tell, a rough dismissal, saying Leo just wasn't looking hard enough, then. Donnie probably found some useful things already. Instead, he said: "You have no sense of time. It's been ten minutes, at best."
"Says Mr. Hyper-focus," Leo said under his breath. He pulled at something stuck tight in the pile, wiggled it, and yanked it loose. He briefly lost his balance, rocking back on his heels, and managed to not tumble down. He looked at the piece in his hand.
More junk.
He tossed it over his shoulder.
Okay, new plan. Gauge how annoyed Donnie was exactly and how far he could push this, or if he shouldn't push anything at all, and if he should let the heavy shroud of silence settle back over them.
"Donnie," Leo whined, and watched keenly as his brother rolled his eyes. Alright, not a bad sign. Meant Donnie was in a poor mood, but not a leave me alone or I'll vaporize you mood. More an I need some TLC so I'd like my darling twin to annoy me mood. Sure, Donnie would never put it in those exact terms, but Leo was a verified Donnie-connoisseur, and he knew exactly what his brother needed.
Leo put his hands up and presented them to his still-working brother. They were dark with grime. "My fingers hurt," he announced with a pout.
"Tragic," Donnie said and dug further into the pile. "What do you want me to do about it?"
"Kiss it better?"
Disgust curled at Donnie's snout and Leo fought not to grin. "I'm not going anywhere near those dirty paws of yours."
Mischievously, Leo wiggled his fingers and cooed: "Awww, but Donnie, they hurt! You wouldn't leave your only twin to suffer!"
He lunged, shoving his hands into Donnie's face, relishing the shriek he drew from his twin.
Donnie spluttered, pulling away sharply and trying, futilely, to keep Leo at arm’s length. He bared his teeth, fangs glinting, and snapped at Leo's squirming fingers straying too close to his mouth.
"So mean, Don-Don!" Leo whined around a laugh.
"If you don't get your hands – off! I'll happily be an only twin in two minutes!"
"Awww, that's so sweet of you to say! You think I'd hold out against your arsenal for two whole minutes!"
"Make that ten seconds. Nine. Eight. Seven – "
"Donnie," Raph's voice came, tired but still fond, from a little way behind them. "Don't threaten Leo with fratricide."
"Then he shouldn't– !" Donnie made another attempt to bite off Leo's wriggling fingers. "Tell him to stop! And that he needs a bath." To Leo, he said with a glower: "You stink worse than the sewers."
"Like you're any better, hermano."
"We all need a bath," Raph said as he picked both of them up by the scruff of their shirt and hung them in the air like particularly naughty kittens. "Both of you stink to high heaven, but you don't hear me complaining. So quit squabbling and get back to digging."
Donnie made a noise of protest. "I was working just fine before Leo–!"
Raph shook him once, jostling him and pulling his shirt just so that his arms hiked up, and gave him a look. Donnie acquiesced with a grumble and a stubborn, but meaningless, attempt at crossing his arms, succeeding only in crossing his wrists and accidentally framing his face. Leo muffled a snort.
Satisfied, Raph placed them gently back down. With his feet back on somewhat solid ground, even if it was rocky and precariously uneven in places, Leo looked at Raph. Scars lined up his arms, and there was a particularly gnarly scar covered by his mask where he lost his eye to a Kraang attack that haunted Leo's waking dreams. On instinct, Leo breathed in, but no scent greeted him. Raph had learned, by force of necessity, to keep his scent under control, to the point Leo couldn't smell him at all anymore. He wished he hadn't teased Raph for it when they were younger. It was another small comfort he often found himself missing.
"Found anything yet?" Leo asked. A small frown tugged Raph's lips down and his gaze became troubled, and Leo wished he could take the question back.
"Nothing," Raph said. "Looks like some other survivors passed by here before us, probably took whatever useful stuff that was still around with them."
Leo sighed. “Yeah, figured as much."
"Not everything's been taken," Donnie cut in. "I found a few scrap pieces and wires that'll help me create a heater. I need a few more pieces before I can build it, but we'll get there."
Worry hung heavily off Raph's shoulders, even though he tried to keep them up. He might've gotten a handle on his scent, but he still wore his emotions like a comfortable vest, like pages of a book written in large font, an inextricable part of him laid out so openly for them. Leo didn't think he could ever do the same, and he didn't know whether he envied Raph for it or not.
But worry wasn't Raph's burden to bear on his own, not anymore.
Leo patted Raph's arm and mustered up an easy smile. "We'll be fine, big bro. Trust me."
"Yeah..." Raph sighed. "Yeah, I s'ppose. We always are."
Leo wasn't sure why the easy trust made his chest feel so tight.
"Course we are," he said instead. "So stop worrying that big head of yours, m'okay?"
"My head's not big."
"Raph, big brother, your head's massive, 'cause it keeps growing along with that giant body of yours. You're huge, accept it."
"That's a really interesting way of asking for shell rides, Leo," Donnie said, smirking, because he knew exactly which secret he just laid out in the open. Leo gasped; Betrayed by his own kin, and Donnie had the gall to stand there and look smug.
Raph looked at Leo with big, soft eyes. "You want shell rides?"
"What – no! I mean, yes. No!"
"Awww, buddy," Raph cooed, and the worst part about it was that his brother really meant the almost-aggravatingly sweet tone. "If you wanted shell rides, you should've just asked! C'mere – "
"Raph, wait, no – "
A loud crash from behind them – where their little brother was still working through the pile – had them instantly on high alert, weapons one swift movement away from being drawn as they spun, quick and practiced, ready to tackle any possible danger.
An ugly, chipped mug was raised high above Mikey's head. The gaudy thing was decorated with a round, yellow smiley face in its center, orange and green 80's flowers circling the body. They were scratched to hell and back, but still mostly recognizable. Mikey's grin was blinding.
"Donnie!" he hollered. "Bring out the Poppins bag! I'm taking this baby with me!"
Tension bled out of them in one collective sigh.
"It's called – whatever. You guys will never get it right."
The relieved slant of Donnie's shoulders betrayed his nonchalant tone. He took a small pouch out of his pocket and opened it, tugging at its edges to make it big enough to put the mug in.
"Don't mix it with the clean items," Donnie instructed as Mikey bounded up to them.
"Don, if you want him to do that, you gotta upgrade that non-existent sorting system," Leo said. "Just make sure it's at the top or something."
"You have no idea how difficult it is to create a contained, portable pocket dimension meant for storage, nevermind to create any form of system within such a space."
"Right, yeah, explain that to me again some other time."
Donnie huffed and rolled his eyes. The bag was a project both he and Mikey had worked a long time on, combining both their ninpo into creating a storage space that could hold almost anything. It wasn't endless, but they hadn't reached its end yet, and it'd saved them from a pinch more than once.
Mikey proudly presented his new mug to them. It was even uglier up close.
"Look at it and weep!"
Leo wanted to weep alright, but not as much as Donnie, by the scrunched look on his face.
"It's a cool mug, Mikey," Raph said.
"Right? If I clean it up a lil', it'll be as good as new!"
"I'm boiling it at least five times, I hope you know." Donnie held out the bag.
"Of course! Man, this is so cool, that's the best find I've had in ages! You guys must be so jealous right now–"
A noise, nothing but the smallest rattle, faint but there, drew Leo's attention. He turned to find its source, tuned out his brothers, eyes sweeping across the destruction, a quick survey of the area, but he found nothing.
Another sound, less a rattle and more something alive. Leo straightened his back, standing to full attention, and brought up his fist as he clicked once, quick and sharp. His brothers hushed at once. He moved, trusting his brothers to follow and cover his back.
Donnie scanned the perimeter before they entered the area, but it wouldn't be the first time one of those pink monsters managed to evade the scanners somehow. He'd upgraded them, and upgraded them again, until they had almost no fault, but they'd grown to be careful – couldn't be careful enough – unlike their days in youth where hubris colored their every action. Before the world went to waste and everything they knew disappeared. They'd lost almost everyone. They couldn't bear to lose each other, too.
A piece of rounded concrete stuck out between the pile of wreckage across from them, and another small noise echoed out. A tunnel, then, of sorts, whatever the concrete had once been had made a passageway under the debris. And something was in there.
Leo motioned to it, then twirled his finger, signaled his brothers to spread out and circle the entrance. They assumed their positions without protest, without question, silent and swift. Raph remained at Leo's back.
A roofing sheet covered most of the entrance. Leo counted down from three to zero with his fingers, hand in the air, and lifted the sheet with his sword, but the movement must've displaced something, because a moment later it came tumbling down with a loud clatter, stone and metal grinding their way down.
He tensed, but whatever was inside the tube – and he could clearly see it was one now, reminding him somewhat of the sewer tubes of his childhood – didn't startle and attack. But another noise came, clearly now, and Leo froze. It sounded like a cough. A very tiny cough. And a gurgle. It sounded like –
Leo ducked, without thinking, and climbed into the tunnel.
Black guck covered the bottom. It smelled rancid, pungent in a rotting way. His hands and knees sank into the wet mass. He sucked in a breath and held it, hoping the stench would leave his nose if he didn't breathe for long enough.
He ignored Raph's startled and concerned "Leo?!" and crawled further. He trudged through the sludge, trying not to gag at the slimy feel. Pieces of metal stuck through the roof of the tunnel, but Leo found himself lucky enough to not have to duck under them far enough to end belly-down in the gunk.
The baby looked up at him when he came to a stop close by. His cheeks weren’t nearly as chubby as they should be, and his hair was matted and greasy, clinging to his scalp. Only a ratty blanket covered him, flimsily at best. Something dark and unpleasant mixed with the black guck, and Leo didn't need to see the dried blood on the kid's arm to know what it was.
He looked past the baby, further down the tunnel, and saw a man. His arm was outstretched, reaching towards the kid, face turned towards them. A giant puncture hole was clear as day on his back, as repulsive as it was familiar.
Dead.
He must've died protecting his baby.
"How long've you been here, little guy?" Leo muttered, and regretted it immediately, a fresh wave of rot bombarding his senses. He coughed, covering his mouth and nose with the back of his hand.
"Alright," he said, strained. "You're coming with me."
He wiped his hand on his thigh, clearing most of the gunk from it, even if the baby was dirty enough that another layer wouldn't matter that much, and gingerly touched him. The baby grabbed at his fingers immediately, like a homing missile seeking warmth, sudden enough to startle Leo. He gurgled, big, doe eyes staring wetly up at Leo.
"Yeah, yeah," Leo mumbled, soft. "No need to look at me like that, I'm not leaving you here."
He unwrapped his scarf after wiping off his other hand, and fashioned it into a sling, knot tied atop his shoulder. He picked the baby up and murmured softly to him when he whined.
“I know, kiddo. Just a bit longer.”
The baby fit snugly into the sling, covered from head to toe by the scarf. The baby made a noise and curled his tiny fingers into Leo’s shirt, cuddling closer against him and burying further into the sling. He’d been out in the cold for a long time, it was nothing short of a miracle that the kid didn’t have hypothermia. Leo attempted to cradle him closer.
"Sorry, this'll be a bumpy ride. Hang tight, okay?"
Leo spared another glance at the man. It didn't feel right to leave him here to rot, after he gave his life to protect his child, but there was no other choice. Even if they dragged him out, there was no place to bury him, and no time to spare on it. Not with recent Kraang activity painted in the decay of his body. Leo closed his eyes, paid him respect the only way he still could, honoring the man's sacrifice.
His brothers called his name, their voices thin and sharp as they echoed through the tunnel and beat against his eardrums, their worry thick. Leo turned, and didn't look back.
Leo gulped in fresh air greedily the moment he tumbled out of the tunnel. He coughed, attempting to banish the foul smell out of his lung, while his arms curled around the baby.
"Leo," Raph rumbled, upset clinging to his words. "What were you thinking! You can't leave without saying anything! What if you got – " He paused. "What is that?"
The baby peeked over the top of the sling, curiously taking in his new surroundings and the people around them. Leo carefully took the baby out of the sling and showed him to his brothers. Their jaws dropped.
"Leo–  what– " Raph spluttered.
"Why do you have a baby," Donnie's tone was dry, like he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing.
"I found him," Leo said and held the child out towards them. "Isn't he cute?"
"He's naked."
Leo wiggled the kid. "Yeah, but so were we until we were forced into clothes. C'mon, look at 'im."
The baby cooed and giggled when Leo wiggled him again. Leo couldn't stop his grin. That's right, kid, back him up here.
"He's adorable," Raph said and Mikey nodded in agreement, a gentle smile and soft look on his face that Leo hadn't seen in a while. Then, it turned to a frown.
"He's dirty." Mikey looked at Leo. "You're dirty." His nostrils flared and he pulled a face. "Oh, Pizza Supreme, you reek."
"It was full of gross, rotting stuff in there, of course I stink."
"Nuh-uh, no, that's – Donnie, bag!"
Donnie, remaining at a decent distance from Leo, the scent probably having wafted his way now as well, shoved the Poppins bag into Mikey's hands.
"Leo, come here," Mikey commanded as he took out a surprisingly well-maintained towel and a bottle marked Rain out of the bag.
"No, Mikey," Leo protested, even as his little brother stalked towards him and the wiggling child in his arms. "We shouldn't waste water on something like this – "
Mikey shushed him. "If you think I'm going to let you run around smelling like that, you're an idiot. Now, hands."
There had never been any arguing with Mikey. Reluctantly, Leo did as told. The water felt wonderful on his scales, black gunk and slime washing off his hands, then his knees when those were clean.
"Baby."
Leo carefully angled the baby in his arms so Mikey could rinse him off.
"Hold him tight."
A task far easier than Leo would've thought it would be. The kid whined and fussed a little when Mikey poured the water in small streams over him and scrubbed the filth off him, but he was otherwise extremely well-behaved. Maybe he was tired. Leo hoped he wasn't sick.
Leo dried the baby off while Mikey dug a blanket out of the bag – and dropped Leo’s now-dirty scarf in – which he then used to swaddle the baby. The kid cuddled into the warmth of the blanket, and released a body-shaking sneeze.
"Is he sick?" Raph asked, worriedly. His hands hovered near them, shifting around, but never reaching out, as if afraid to hurt the fragile little thing curled in Leo's arms.
Leo examined the child's eyes, nose, and mouth. "Doesn't seem like it," he determined. "But it bears keeping an eye on, to be sure."
"Was he alone down there?" Donnie asked as he poked the kid's cheek and earned himself a gurgled coo in response.
Leo's face fell. "There was a man there, too. Been dead a few days. I think he was the kid's father. The..." he hesitated. "The Kraang got him."
The air turned tense, his brothers grew grim.
"They were here. Recently," Donnie mumbled. "We should..."
"Move," Leo agreed. "Soon."
Mikey sighed. "And I was just starting to like that place, too."
Guilt swirled like the beginning of a vortex in Leo's chest. He swallowed down the instinctive sorry, knew none of his brothers would appreciate that pesky self-blame rearing its ugly head again, not after they'd spent so long picking up and gluing together the pieces that'd shattered after the end began.
The baby shifted in his arms, rolling over and almost careening out of his hold and onto the ground. Leo, panicked, scrambled to shift the kid and hold him more securely.
"Don't do that!" he scolded, but the baby just blinked at him, like he had no idea why Leo had stopped him from whatever little plans his infant brain had hatched.
"Are we..." Raph hesitated. "Are we taking him with us?"
The question was tentative, a glimmer of something Leo couldn't quite identify sparkling in Raph's gaze, but he knew it was soft, and maybe even a little hopeful, but the uncertainty Leo himself felt was clear for him to see. The baby was heavy in his arms and suckled sweetly at one of Leo’s fingers.
"We can't leave him here," Mikey said, loud, like it was already a protest. "He'll die!"
"Yeah, 'course, I didn't mean..." Raph held his hands up. How he managed to always look so much smaller than their little brother in moments like these would forever remain a mystery to Leo.
"It's a fair question, Mikey," Leo said. "It'll be a lot of work. We'll need to find far more food and supplies than what we survive on now - "
"So we're leaving him here just because - "
"Michael," Donnie cut in. His no-nonsense tone always worked best on Mikey, and they watched the rush of a fight leave their little brother. "It's an important thing to consider. This is a child, an entire person we need to take care of. Are we the best choice for that?"
They didn't know anything about babies, all reference they had was from their Pops' stories about their own childhood – and most of that was probably not applicable to fully human children – and some TV shows, which left much to be desired.
Mikey looked sadly at the baby and rested the back of his hand against his cheek.
"Where else is he supposed to go?" he whispered. "We're all he has."
Sorrow frayed at Leo's edges. His brother wasn't wrong – the kid was all alone in the world. They couldn't trust other humans to take care of him, even if they managed to find a group of them anywhere soon. There was no vetting process trustworthy enough in the mess that was the apocalypse for them to entrust the baby to strangers. Leo glanced at Donnie and Raph, and knew, from the looks on their faces, they were considering the exact same thing. Leo and Raph's eyes met, they exchanged nothing but a wordless look for a moment, and then they nodded.
"He'll need a name,” Raph said. Mikey looked between them for a startled moment and then positively lit up.
"I've got the best names! There's Clunk, Cody, Haley, Joel -"
Donnie, a smile tilting at his lips, leaned in, consideringly, and he hummed a melody-less tune.
"He reminds me somewhat of Cassandra."
Leo made a noise that was a mix between offense and confusion, while Raph, looking only confused, leaned curiously closer to the baby.
"Oh!" Mikey said. "He does kinda look like her, doesn't he?"
Leo squinted down at the child in his arms. The baby looked back up at him with wide, dark eyes.
"I don't see it," Leo said. "He's so much cuter."
"He's a baby," Donnie huffed, but Leo could hear amusement in his tone. "They're designed to be cute."
"Which means I'm right."
"No, Leo, look. He does look like her," Raph's hands skated around the baby, one palm almost dwarfing the little guy. He pushed the kid's hair back with one, careful finger. "See?" The baby reached up, grabbed Raph's finger best he could with his tiny baby-grip. Raph melted, smile wide and warm, and Leo's breath almost stopped, stolen from his lungs, because he felt, vaguely, as if the sun had come out for the first time after a barren, endless winter.
"Okay," Leo said. Cleared his throat to rid it off its roughness. "Yeah, okay. I guess I see it. So, Casey, then?"
"Casey Junior," Mikey declared, a new sort of pride lining him almost as bright as his ninpo. "It's perfect."
"You wanna hold him, Raph?" Leo asked. It was easy to spot the building refusal, worry and hesitance pinging back in his big brother's eyes, so Leo, swiftly, and without too much jostling, deposited the baby in Raph's arms.
Panic seized, but only for a moment, because then Casey cuddled closer up to him, burying himself in the safe comfort of Raph's arms, and every bit of tension washed away.
His brothers huddled around, gazing at the slowly dozing baby nestled, like he'd always belonged there, in their big brother's arms. They talked in hushed, bright tones, and warmth sang like a crackling hearth through Leo’s soul.
Picking up Casey might’ve been the best thing he’d ever done.
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frikatilhi · 21 days
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So apparently after the Tallinn gig, Jere and Bojan went inside the tour bus together and stayed there for a while. Then Jere came out, bantered with the fans a little from further away but did not stay and left the venue. Then the other JO members came out to greet the fans but Bojan stayed inside the bus.
What do you think happened with these two?
Lots of tears, foreheads pressed together, hugs so tight a few ribs were crushed, head scratches, neck kisses, vows of eternal bro-ship, some feels were copped, next facetime date confirmed, obviously.
And then Bojan needed a moment to have a bit of a cry I MEAN SAVE HIS VOICE OF COURSE.
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telesodalite · 1 year
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[A bit late, but here, have a Yule Fíli for the new year.]
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theotherrichardpapen · 2 months
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nguyenfinity · 10 months
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[blasts you with miscellaneous rinky doodles from our heartbeat event]
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vynnyal · 9 months
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Unga bunga these take 3 hrs to make
#Artfight#Art#Hollers into the sky I'M MAKING AAART#Glad I still got it#Also was on vacay for the first two weeks of AF so thats. Great#Is it update time? Sure here's a quick life update#So I work at this tiny mom and pop shop right. Because they were so small they liked to take advantage of their workers#Aka me and literally 2 other people ever. I've been here for a year lmao#I always knew they were suspicious but it really came to a head when they accused me of stealing money#Btw they issued me a 1099 (the wrong tax form) so they already stole from me#I talked to the bank and had the delightful experience of slapping their account across the face with my guilt free hands#Metaphorically unfortunately#I'm gonna quit this week. I'm tired of these people. The drama was fun tho#Let's see. Ah! I just passed 1 1/2 years of Sky the other day!#More than the game itself I've become engrossed in the modding community hahaha#It's the weirdest little cranny of a fandom I've seen for such a large project#It's basically ONLY passed via word of mouth. And there's all sorts of fun drama happening within the discord(s) too#Idk this is just so funny to watch. Might get banned sooner or later but oh well. I've spent hundreds#It's their loss 🤪 and mine. Mostly mine. But also their loss 🤪#.... You know. My blog is small enough that I could post some funny stuff that I don't dare post anywhere else#Hehehuhuhu I just might. I have a lot of videos#OH SPEAKING OF VIDEOS I'm thinking of cleaning up all my old vids and publishing em to youtube#Apparently I just never did that#May as well dust off the ol' tube of yube and my handful of subs#I'll just post the unfinished ones unlisted as well. Why not!#Till next time. Hopefully soon
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