Anyway, while people are discoursing about men and not sharing Shubble points, here’s the actual advice I got from watching the stream bc I think that probably needs to be spread more. Shubble elaborates it much better but if you can’t watch it’s better than nothing.
Physical abuse is not just hitting or kicking, anyone causing physical pain intentionally to you without consent is physically abusive, regardless of how that manifests or if it seems silly.
Pressuring someone into using a safeword on something that’s not, like, a mutually agreed thing and is just something one partner wants is controlling and creepy.
Partners who push at the edge of your boundaries and avoid safewords are abusive.
A partner insisting you’re remembering things wrong and making you seem crazy is abusive (specifically, it’s gaslighting)
Grand romantic gestures from the beginning can very easily be a sign of abuse, as abusers use it to endear themselves to their victims.
Controlling behaviour and refusing to break up while also refusing to make changes is possessive and unhealthy at best.
Abusers will manipulate things to make it seem normal to those outside of their victims- by being kind and helpful even as they neglect their victim, by pressuring their victim to treat their abusive behaviour as a joke, ect. It’s often very hard for an outside observer to know if something is abusive, and making assumptions off of what you know in front of closed doors isn’t helpful.
It’s very hard to tell that you’re being abused, and you'll often still retain affection for your abuser for a long time- this is normal, and this isn’t your fault if you wanted to stay friends.
Even if an abuser is struggling with their own problems, taking it out on you is not acceptable. People can be bottling up their emotions and struggle with depression and past trauma and that gives them no excuse to hurt you.
If your partner relies entirely on you to take care of them, and support them financially, that’s financial abuse one way or another.
Abusers tend to hurt more than one person, and their actions escalate without outside influence (be it intervention if possible or something that keeps them away from victims if not.)
Listen to your gut, if you think a relationship is bad. Even if you’ve been through this before, sometimes you can’t realise in it, but you’ll feel it subconciously.
Also, Shubble is being supported by friends who helped her cope and went through different but similar things. She's specifically mentioned right now keeping the stories anonymised, but she might change her mind, if I interpreted the last bit correctly. She's doing alright, she's healing, and it sounds like she's being believed by her friends, at least most of them. I wish nothing but growth and healing for them, and wish them the best moving forward.
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The Bentley in the show: cramped, tiny seats, barely enough room for both of them to fit when they have to drive somewhere, just enough headroom for Crowley’s hairstyle du jour
The Bentley in fanfic when it’s time to get nasty:
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the one thing de fics tend not to highlight is that kim is the funniest mf who says the most outta pocket shit but only really when harry’s around. like. i just know they’re at the 41st talking about a case and kim says the most fucking hilarious deadpan that has harry dying laughing and kim’s just there completely stoic while harry’s choking to death. everyone in the office is like hello? and kim’s like what i didn’t say anything harry’s just like that you know how he is. and. they all believe him because of the lieutenant big dick authority persona that he’s cultivated with everyone but harry. meanwhile harry has to listen to him say shit like “yeah i love being 42 and my penis got an attitude”
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Aziraphale keeps saying “I forgive you!” Because he wants someone to forgive him.
AZIRAPHALE KEEPS SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU!” BECAUSE HE WANTS SOMEONE TO FORGIVE HIM!!!!
AZIRAPHALE KEEPS SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU!” BECAUSE HE WANTS SOMEONE TO FORGIVE HIM!!!!
AZIRAPHALE KEEPS SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU!” BECAUSE HE WANTS SOMEONE TO FORGIVE HIM!!!!
AZIRAPHALE KEEPS SAYING “I FORGIVE YOU!” BECAUSE HE WANTS SOMEONE TO FORGIVE HIM!!!!
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