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ptergwen · 3 years

Note

hi val can you maybe write something about the reader being dared to kiss peter/tom/arvin (you choose) since her friends knew that she has a big crush on him, but once she did he seems disinterested after which makes her sad, but what she doesn't know was after she kissed him, he practically runs to his friends freaking out that the girl he's had his eyes on this whole time just kissed him??

kiss and tell

w/c: 1.8k

warnings: like one swear and awkwardness

a/n: yeeee i went with peter! this is adorable :,)

“i can’t!” you scold betty and her annoying smirk. you’re bored at lunch, so liz suggested the three of you play truth or dare. you’d made the mistake of choosing dare. in your defense, betty is the nosiest person in all of midtown, so you thought you were dodging the bullet and guarding your deep dark secrets. how could you have known she’d make you do... this?

“that’s so, like, forward. he’s gonna freak out.” you glance over at peter’s table to see what he’s up to before you possibly scar him. he’s laughing along at a heated conversation ned and mj are having. the way his face lights up, and his eyes crinkle as a smile crosses his features, it gives you butterflies throughout your whole body.

“in a good way,” liz grins her most charming grin at you. it’s not working this time. you roll your eyes up to the ceiling. “i thought you liked him,” betty huffs, gesturing over to peter and keeping her eyes on you. “all you do is talk about how he’s so cute and smart, and his lips look so soft-“ “i never said that!” you look at her with wild eyes. liz bites her lip to hold in a laugh. “the last part, i mean,” you clarify in a murmur.

liz puts a hand on you and pats your shoulder knowingly. “you’ve probably thought it, though. i’ve seen you checking them out.” there have been quite a few times your gaze has landed on peter’s lips, watching them curve while he talks to you about some new science theory he’s excited to share. you end up zoning out and pretending you retained any of what he said. betty puckers her own lips at you.

“you wanna kiss him,” she insists in a sing song voice, resting her chin on your other shoulder. “i’m doing you a favor.” “you’re really not gonna change the dare?” you sigh, your friends leaning on you in support. liz taps your cheek. “so, you don’t wanna kiss him?” “there’s no way,” betty comments from your side. “no, i...” you start, focusing in on peter again.

he meets your eyes across the cafeteria. his smile fades slightly, then a shy one is replacing it, ned dragging him into his and mj’s debate. you turn back to liz and betty.

“i do, but do you think he wants me to?” you ask them both, and they share a you have to be kidding look. “only one way to find out.” liz gives your shoulder a nudge. betty beams at you. “i triple dog dare you now, so you have to.” considering your options, you bounce your leg up and down. you’ll either get the nicest rejection ever from peter or a kiss back. you can handle this.

“ok, i’ll do it,” you decide, betty clapping her hands and squealing. liz throws an arm around your neck. “yay! i love love.” “let’s calm down,” you giggle so she doesn’t get too carried away. you and peter haven’t even established that you like each other. “i’m calm, i’m calm. do you need to borrow chapstick?” she offers, betty simultaneously pulling a tube out of her purse. “or lip gloss?”

you’re appreciating their over involvement now.

“both,” you breathe out, letting them get you ready for your big kiss.

liz and betty send you good luck wishes in a hushed tone while you make your way to peter’s table. mj went to get a snapple, and ned went with her so they could continue whatever argument they’re in. that left peter by himself. it’s almost like this is meant to happen.

“hi,” you greet peter, making him look up at you with raised eyebrows. he notices right away that your lips are shiny, more so than usual. a color that you always seem to bring to his face takes over his cheeks. “hey. you wanna sit?” he gives you a small smile. you return it. “yeah, sure. thanks.” instead of taking the bench across from him like he assumed you would, you find your place next to him.

he doesn’t mind.

“how’s your day been?” you wonder, body turned towards him while he answers. peter scrunches his nose. “kinda busy. i got so much homework in spanish tonight, and i’ve been putting off this essay about...” you do the thing you do every time he goes off on a sort of tangent, watch his lips. lucky for you, that’s the whole point today. “i don’t know. all i have so far is the intro-“

you cut peter off with a kiss. liz and betty cheer to each other the second it happens. peter doesn’t move, only freezes up as you press your glossy lips to his and grab his shoulders. it takes a few seconds for you to realize he’s not kissing back. his arms are stiff at his sides, eyes wide in shock. absolutely humiliated, you pull back, moving as far away as you can.

“fuck, i’m sorry. i should’ve asked you first,” you apologize, voice shaking. you’re already getting to your feet. peter blinks a few times, grounding himself back in the moment. “no, no. it’s okay. i-“ “that was weird, i know. you don’t have to lie or make me feel better.” he furrows his eyebrows, in a way that seems regretful even though you’re the one who messed up. “i’m trying to tell you, y/n. it’s fine. we-“

ned’s voice fills the room, making you snap your head in his direction. him and mj are coming back. you need to get out of here before you embarrass yourself even more.

“i’m gonna go. i’m sorry,” you mumble out, running back to your table, where liz and betty are instantly asking what’s wrong and if you’re alright. peter licks his lips that are now coated in your gloss and clenches his jaw. he’s pissed. not at you, at himself. it’s clear because mj brings attention to it when she sits down.

“what’s up with your face?” she narrows her eyes at him, popping the cap on her snapple. ned elbows peter in his spot next to him. you were just there less than a minute ago. “you okay, dude?” he checks. “no.” peter closes his eyes in frustration. “what’s wrong?” ned kicks mj’s foot under the table so she’ll stop making out with her drink and help him.

“i... y/n kissed me,” peter admits, sounding oddly upset about something everyone knows he’s been hoping would happen. “she what?” ned gawks. “isn’t that a good thing?” mj points out. “you love her.” “like her,” peter corrects and chews the inside of his cheek. “whatever. shouldn’t you want her to kiss you?” she takes another sip of snapple, passing this off to ned.

“yeah...” is all ned says. he awkwardly rubs peter’s back while mj tries not to snort. “that’s not the problem. i didn’t kiss her back, and she took it as me not being into it,” peter shakes his head as he recounts your weird moment. “which i was,” he tells them for the record. ned makes a funny face at him. “so why didn’t you kiss back?” “no shit she ran away,” mj mutters to him. she saw that part.

“because i wasn’t expecting it!” peter frowns at his friends’ reactions and at what he did. “you guys know how much i like y/n. i can’t believe i screwed this up so bad.” mj squints in mock confusion. “i can.” she quickly drops her sarcasm for encouragement after that. “ok, seriously. just go find her and apologize.” “maybe kiss her this time,” ned chimes in.

“if she really likes you, she’ll get it.” mj smiles genuinely, nodding back at your table. ned gives him a push forward. “you got this, dude. come tell us all about it after.” a rush of confidence enters peter from their advice. he’ll fix this. “thanks, guys. here i go.” he shoots up from the table, ned and mj getting back into their debate once he’s out of sight.

betty is hugging you way too tightly when peter gets over there. she goes on about how much peter sucks, overcompensating because she’s the reason you kissed him. you only hum in response. you don’t have the heart to tell her you blame yourself. only liz notices peter come over, so she talks on your behalf. “oh, hey,” she says drily. “hey. can i talk to y/n?” peter gets out, twiddling with his thumbs nervously.

she has to decide if she’d rather go into protective friend mode or let him. from your unenthusiastic responses to betty’s hate rant, she figures you’d like to hear him out.

“come on, betty,” liz takes her arm suddenly, betty trying to pull it back. “what? why?” “i’m gonna buy you ice cream. let’s go.” that’s her cover. peter shoots her a look that says thank you, liz pressing her lips into a line and dragging betty along. betty sees peter standing in front of your table and glares at him, liz walking faster. you don’t get the chance to ask them where they’re going because they leave so fast.

the bench dips down on one side of you, making someone’s prescense known. you’re surprised to find it’s peter. you talk first.

“if you’re gonna apologize, don’t. it was my fault-“ “you never let me finish earlier,” peter interrupts, the hint of a smile on his face. his clammy hand links with one of yours. “what were you gonna say?” you ask quietly, peter threading your fingers together. your heart is racing at the simple touch. “that i like you,” he replies at the same low volume. “and, that i wanted to try again.”

he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you realized. you welcome it, your hands in between you two on the bench. “i like you too... try what again?” you question, although you hope and pray it’s what you think. “kissing,” peter says what you were hoping and praying for. “wasn’t ready the first time.” you’re about to go into cardiac arrest as he rests his forehead on yours, curls brushing your face. a few broken up breaths escape him.

“can i?” he nearly whispers, warm hand still gripping at yours. “yeah,” you agree before your eyes flutter shut. he wastes no time, parting his lips and brushing them against yours gently, you reciprocating. he kisses as sweetly as he is, his free hand on your cheek and fingers careessing your skin. your other hand ends up on the back of his neck. you grin against him, lips detaching momentarily so you can engage him in another kiss.

peter doesn’t hesitate to kiss back this time, nose nudging yours as he moves in more. you tug on some hair at the nape of his neck and laugh into the kiss, reminding him you’re in school. he pulls back with a chuckle, but keeps his forehead on yours and your hands in each other.

“sorry. got too excited,” he laughs out, you leaning into his open palm. “i told you don’t apologize.”

liz and betty joined ned and mj at some point. the four of them are whistling at you and yelling out suggestive jokes. they’re too much. but, to be fair, you owe this all to them.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #peter parker #peter parker fic #peter parker fluff #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker fanfiction

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

that kind of morning, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You’re really bad at waking up. Big sleepyhead with foggy memory kind of bad. Your brain is on autopilot. Hm, kind of hard to pilot when everything seems out of place. And you’re mildly hungover. Ow. You just ran into a muscular chest. Who could that be?

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; morning after a wild night; graphic descriptions of sexual acts and a tiny bit of smut–while on the phone (fem reader, nipple play, dry humping, hint of a handjob); non-idol!BTS; basically sleepy and slightly hungover reader trying to piece together life lmao

–

Most people make their worst decisions at night.

Not you. You make your worst decisions in the morning.

Maybe it's because you don't drink coffee.

"Ow!"

Was your bed always that high? Huh. You squinted in the sunlight filtering through the window, far too bright for your sensitive eyes. Instead, you occupied yourself with sniffing the t-shirt you were wearing. It smelled clean, like fabric softener. Also, it was white. Generally, you didn't buy white shirts since they dirtied easily. A miracle that this one wasn't stained.

You stumbled through the bedroom door – was it always that far? – and smacked your nose into a wall.

"Ow!"

"Ah!"

A moving wall. Wait, not a wall. A shirtless guy. Oh. It had been that kind of night.

You rubbed your nose. "Erm, hello. You're still here, huh?" you mumbled.

The guy blinked at you. "What do you mean? This is my apartment."

Oh. That's why everything seemed unfamiliar. Now that you looked at him, he was pretty attractive. Long dark hair, large brown eyes, dark brows, shapely pink lips with a mole underneath his lower lip. He had two more on his nose and cheek. Lightly tanned skin and a cute confused face. Huh. Nice muscles too. Good for him.

"Alright, I'll be on my way then, uh..." you trailed off awkwardly, pushing past him. The events of last night were hazy and your head hurt a little, although not so bad that you couldn't function. You were just poorly functioning because you weren't a morning person.

"Do you want coffee or something?" the guy asked, following you. He sounded a little worried.

"Nah, I don't drink coffee," you muttered, holding onto the wall as you walked down the unfamiliar narrow hallway. "Stains your teeth."

Speaking of teeth, your breath was probably awful. Hopefully that poor guy didn't breathe near you. Come to think of it, this wasn't what you were wearing last night. It was probably his shirt, considering the large size. Where were your clothes? Oh, look, a bathroom.

"I could order us some breakfast," the guy continued as you stuck your head into the bathroom and saw the sink. There was a black toothbrush and a crumpled tube of toothpaste, definitely not yours. A black cup for rinsing one's mouth, with a winking emoji printed on it. A black shirt bunched up and half-falling off the sink. Deodorant. Cologne. You picked it up and sniffed it. A clean scent. Didn't make you want to throw up. Awesome.

You flicked on the faucet and shoved your hands under it. Cold. Fuck. Whatever. You cupped some and brought your hands to your face, dripping water everywhere, and cursing under your breath before gargling some. Best you could do. You spied something red out of the corner of your eye. What was that? You squinted at the towel rack through the mirror, water trickling down your chin. There was a thin scrap of ripped lace fabric on the hanging white towels.

The guy was still talking.

"I can get you a spare toothbrush? Do you want some cleanser to wash your face?"

He had a pleasant voice, a little deep. Clear, smooth. Made you think of a cool, refreshing breeze.

Wait.

Were those your red panties on the towel rack?

You winced at the mirror. Welp. Those were done for. Didn't look like you could salvage them. You suddenly felt a chilly draft on your bare ass. Your arms were still dripping water as you leaned down and splashed your cheeks. Guess you'll just have to figure something out. You turned off the water and wiped your face off with your palm. A white hand towel appeared. You took it, seeing the guy's tattooed hand and arm. Sexy. He had an emoji tattooed onto his knuckle of a sheepish, crooked smile.

Kind of looked like you, at the moment.

You dried your face and hands.

"Thanks, but it's fine, I'll just go home so I don't bother you," you said, folding the towel and placing it on the sink before moving past him and his curious expression.

"You're not bothering me. I want to make your morning comfortable."

You noticed your red dress from last night on the ground. The thin straps were torn off and there was a distinct, dark stain down the front. Hmm. You vaguely remembered scooping your tits out and smashing them against his hard dick and dropping a stream of spit down your chest for lubrication before furiously tit-fucking him and making him cum all over your collarbones and neck.

Ah.

Well.

That dress was fucked.

"Can I borrow this shirt? I'll give it back," you said, turning around to see the guy's face bright pink, staring at your dress on the ground.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever you want," he rambled, shifting awkwardly. He was wearing light gray sweatpants. You looked down. He shifted away quickly, but it was pretty hard to disguise that tent.

You scratched your head. Hm. "Say, uh..." you trailed off again.

He blinked with those big chocolatey eyes. "Oh, um, Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook."

He stuck his hand out. You shook it, fitting your hand in his, suddenly remembering when you grabbed it and put it between your legs, smearing your juices from his wrist to his forearm and grinding onto his muscle, flexing your opening on his skin as he moaned darkly into your ear.

Ah.

You let go.

You were probably past handshakes, but, oh well?

"Right, erm, Jungkook, do you know where my jacket is?" you asked sheepishly.

Jungkook whipped his head around, sending his black hair flying everywhere. "I think... it's in the living room?" You remembered running your hands through that hair, panting in his face as he shoved you against the wall, two fingers on your clit and rubbing furiously, those big chocolate eyes watching you come undone under him.

He moved past you and you flattened against the wall, not touching him. Hm. This increased clarity as you continued to wake up was starting to make this more and more, uh... less chill? Weird? Awkward? You followed him at a slight distance, lifting your head to see his back. Your eyes widened. Long red scratches up and down his defined back, caused by your fingernails as he fucked you violently into his bed, your thighs clasped around his waist and his name in your mouth, his thick cock making your pussy so tight and full that you felt like you were going to explode, so completely jammed with pleasure that you couldn't stop moaning.

Erm. Hm. You kind of needed panties with the sudden leakage happening down there.

Oh shit, did you use protection? You frowned as you screwed up your eyes to think. Yes. You did. Jungkook had grabbed them from his nightstand and spilled the whole box, thus causing you both to scramble to detach one in your and his haste.

For.

Er.

Fucking like animals.

You both got one condom and ended up using both.

"Ah, here."

You reached out and took your long-line black leather jacket from Jungkook. That's right. You'd worn that red satin dress with this jacket and black high heels. You spied them by the mat at what you assumed was the front door. Jungkook wasn't looking at you. His face was red. You slipped on the jacket. Smelled the rum still sticking to it. Right. You went to the club, got a drink, and Jungkook had knocked into you, spilling it into your jacket. It was an accident, but that was fine, because Jungkook was hot and you bribed him into talking to you by asking him to buy you another drink.

Super cute with his apologies, nervously speaking to you all night before loosening up with a few drinks and beginning to tease you, little by little, until you were in his apartment, getting your jacket slipped off your shoulders and his mouth on your newly exposed skin.

The memory made you reach up to touch your left shoulder. You winced. Peered under the jacket and shirt to see a giant purple hickey.

"Oh... er, sorry..." Jungkook sputtered sheepishly. "You seemed really into it at the time."

There was damn waterfall between your legs now.

"I was," you replied, a little too quickly. "Uh, I mean, I am. Was great."

You facepalmed. Jungkook jumped, startled that you slapped your own face.

"Sorry, I'm not a morning person. What I meant to say was last night was amazing and I had a great time," you sighed. "You were wonderful. And hot. And sexy. And I'd do it again."

Jungkook blinked at you with those big chocolatey eyes.

"O... oh."

He seemed torn on whether to believe you or not. To be fair, your voice was hoarse and you sounded half-dead. Plus, your speech was a little cliché. Sigh. You struggled to retain brain function, shaking your head roughly. It always took you a long time to wake up and it was worse when you weren't home doing your usual routine. You furrowed your brows, raising your head to frown at Jungkook.

Hold on.

"Don't you work for my dad?"

Jungkook started, eyes shifting.

"Er... yeah."

Did you just fuck one of the waiters at your dad's high-end restaurant? All night?

Huh.

What are the chances?

You were going to have to see Jungkook later that night, since you were the hostess.

"You know, Jungkook," you said, realizing why you had spoken to him last night, why it was fun and familiar banter, why he was so cute to you, and why it had been such a good chance. "Let's not tell my dad about this."

Jungkook's eyes went shifty again. "Yeeeeeeeah... let's not."

Your dad meant well. He was loud and brash by nature and scared every human being that hadn't lived under his roof for decades. Speaking of living under his roof... Maybe you shouldn't go home smelling like rum and Jungkook's cologne, wearing his t-shirt and no panties.

"You... sure you wanna go home?" Jungkook asked, chewing on his lip. You noticed he looked a bit disappointed. Sad.

"Actually," you sheepishly began. "Maybe I shouldn't. Not until Papa leaves the house." You twisted your mouth to one side and poked your index fingers together. Awkward. "Your offer for breakfast still stands?"

He brightened. "Yeah. Yeah, of course. What do you want?" He held up the phone form the coffee table. "We can order something."

Your eyes shifted to the phone. Ten missed calls.

"I would call Papa first," you muttered, walking forward and taking the phone from him. You felt his body heat, the closeness of his bare torso. He smelled nice. Jungkook made a surprised noise, only now realizing he had picked up your phone by accident. You slipped your other arm around him and pulled him to you, inhaling his scent. He made another squeak of confusion as you pressed your lips to his warm chest.

Mmm. Nice.

You phone vibrated violently and you answered it without looking, kissing Jungkook's skin softly, hearing him gasp and stifle his moan as the sharp bark of your name blasted from the phone speaker.

"Where are you?!" Your dad was yelling at the top of his lungs. Jungkook shivered under you. He probably thought your dad was pissed, but he was only worried.

"I'm fine. Slept over at a friend's since I went to the bars last night."

"Oh, fuck, sheesh," your dad grumbled, swearing repeatedly. Your lips began to travel and Jungkook was smacking your arm impatiently, shaking his head, mouthing at you, are you crazy, what the fuck are you doing, before he clenched his jaw and tipped his head back as you began to lazily lick his dark nipple, feeling it harden with your touch.

"Are you eating?" your dad barked in your ear.

"Mhm, can't start the day unless you eat," was your reply, grinning around Jungkook's nipple as his face was becoming more panicked by the second.

"That's right," your dad huffed. "What are you eating?"

"Korean."

Jungkook gave you an exasperated, pained look that quickly turned to ecstasy, placing a hand over his mouth and muffling his moan as you sucked in his nipple, bringing your hips into his sweatpants, the tent returning.

"Hah, fine, would it kill you to fucking call so I don't think you're dead?" Now that you were an adult, your dad didn't bother filtering his cursing anymore.

"Ah, sorry, sorry," you replied, very apologetically and sweetly, grabbing a handful of Jungkook's ass and ramming his rock-hard cock into your crotch, clamping your thighs around it. Jungkook was flailing his one free hand and pressing the other over his mouth, trying not to make a fucking sound.

"I'll remember next time. Promise, Papa."

You heard your dad let out a puff of air. "Hmph. Fine. Don't forget you have to work tonight. I'll let you have the day after off..."

You raised your eyebrows, switching sides and slowly flicking your tongue on Jungkook's nipple, thighs sliding back and forth on Jungkook's clothed length. He was losing it above you, muting his cries and rutting against your thighs to match your pace and add more simulation.

"I thought the other hostess was on vacation for a couple more days?"

"I asked your mother to cover for you," your dad grunted. "You should have some free time while you're still young. Have some fucking fun before you die. That's why I work."

"Ah... okay, thanks Papa. I love you."

"Love you too," was your dad's reply, not so gruff anymore, but warmer and kinder.

He hung up.

You dropped the phone from your ear.

Jungkook gasped a lungful of air, throwing his hand aside now that he could finally breathe, turning into a high-pitched yelp when you yanked his pants down, shoving his cock between your thighs again, but skin on skin this time, angling him down, the head smearing pre-cum in your mid-thigh. Ah, yes, what a pleasant surprise it had been when you saw this pretty cock for the first time, looking so perfect squashed between your tits.

"B-But breakfast..." he choked out between moans.

"I'm getting it," you panted, grinning, sliding up and down his hot stiffness, feeling it twitch. "Best to have some protein in the morning."

Jungkook clenched his jaw, horny and indignant.

"Korean? Really?"

You switched to your hand, kneeling down as you stroked his stiff length hard and fast, giving him a devilish open-mouthed smirk, wet tongue sliding out.

"Hey, I didn't lie."

wondering how Jungkook feels about all this? that kind of evening.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you

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ak8shi · 4 years

Text

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), alcohol, stupid people in love

a/n: ahh I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA!!! But I’m back with this pls enjoy ! I think the fandom really make germaphobia his only personality trait sometimes which makes me sad because I think he’s actually a quirky/classy dude and very functional in social situations,, I hate to say it but ya’ll would get played by him… sorry.

━Sakusa Kiyoomi

Some of you may be like ???? Omi fucks around ?? how ?? BUT he definitely does in his own way

He probably doesn’t do much in high school to be honest, he’s mostly focused on improving as a volleyball player and achieving his goals

Once he reaches pro level though,,, it’s a different story lmfao

I can see him being picky as hell about his hookups, but just because he’s a bit of a germaphobe doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel attraction or doesn’t have needs…

….He’s so hot too… girl

His hook-ups are always taken seriously though… like he’s the type that feels like he has a professional image to upkeep, so he always arranges things beforehand; he’s definitely not messy about it and sets clear boundaries

I think what makes him kind of a player is how standoffish he can be…and he doesn’t really give anyone a chance because he doesn’t think they what it takes to deal with his lifestyle lmao

He’s just like, its easier to call the uber right after, get into the shower, and wait until he can hear the front door of his apartment shut I’m screamingg

Sakusa also isn’t one to kiss and tell, even with the boys… he doesn’t think its tasteful and would rather not have Atsumu up his ass about his flings

ANYWAYS,, let’s get into this, so you know Atsumu through mutual friends and met during college, and the two of you just instantly clicked since you also were a part of the same sports medicine program as him

Atsumu signed with MSBY and you were so happy for him, but you were bummed because you were busy with PT graduate school and couldn’t really attend any of his games

A year passed and you found yourself texting Tsumu to see if he could meet up and grab coffee since you were on winter break!!

You: hey I’m back in town wanna grab coffee sometime?

Him: who is this

You: I see you haven’t changed ❤️

LMFAO, so you catch up with Atsumu and he talks about his new career and his teammates, he seems so happy :(( we love to see that!!

He invites you to MSBY’s game the following weekend, and you’re pumped to go!! Tsumu got you great seats, and he meets you before warmups to make sure you’re okay finding your way around

Atsumu: don’t take yer eyes off me <3

You:

He’s so…

You’re enjoying the match and you even go to grab Onigiri from Osamu’s stand, but you can’t seem to look away from number 15 on Atsumu’s team

He’s .., scrumptious to say the least 🥴

Like he’s so composed and calculated on the court, and you find it so funny how he rolls his eyes whenever Tsumu says something to him and how Tsumu gets so heated about it 💀

The match ends and you go down to meet Atsumu near the lockers, showing the security your family/friend pass 😌

You walk through the halls trying to locate the setter, but you can’t seem to figure out where he is

The only person in the hall is the tall, dark haired man that caught your eye earlier; he is already walking towards the exit with a mask covering his face, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, sweats embroidered with “Sakusa” adorning his body we’re all looking..... respectfully

He’s truly so intimidating but you’re like….highkey lost… so you don’t really have another option

You catch up with him, poking his shoulder gently; he turns around and his attention on you is almost STARTLING.. like his eyes are SO dark

Him: can I help you

You: sir… if you don’t rail me, I’m gonna have to intervene‼️😈😹

After getting over your initial shock, you hear multiple footsteps rumbling down the hallway towards the both of you

Sakusa lets out an annoyed sigh, muttering about how he has to go, but before he can escape you hear Atsumu’s loud voice LMFAO

“OMIIII, where are you goin’? Its team karaoke night remember?”

Tsumu sees you and slings an arm around your shoulders, “Oh-? So I see you’ve met our outside hitter Omi?”

You glance over at Sakusa, his expressionless eyes glued to your face, then slowly trailing down to analyze the way Atsumu casually has you tucked under his arm

Atsumu nudges him, and he grumbles that he’ll meet them after changing at home before walking off in the direction of the private parking garage

You meet the rest of the MSBY boys in the uber, and find them super friendly and welcoming; Bokuto and Hinata buy the first round of drinks at the karaoke bar, but you only have one because you have work to finish the next day WE STAN

Atsumu already has a pink glow setting into his cheeks when you see the boys turn their attention to Sakusa walking through the front door, looking as handsome as ever in his dress pants and fitted white t shirt

They all shout out incoherent hello’s, and he takes the only open seat next to you with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand he smells so good god

You’re unsure what comes over you, but you find yourself turning towards him, and you just start asking him about himself and his career, and surprisingly he’s very polite and much more animated than you previously thought

His voice is like…so alluring and he never looks away from you when you talk, its like he’s absorbing every word

Meanwhile, Atsumu is stumbling over the stage with Bokuto belting Love by Keisha Cole LMFAOO😭

Tsumu kind of ‘warned’ you in the car ride over that Sakusa was a germaphobe, but you know that Atsumu tends to invade people’s personal space sometimes and it probably wasn’t as dramatic as he made it out to be

However, you weren’t expecting the outside hitter to lean over from his seat after checking the time on his phone, whispering in your ear, asking you if you wanted to meet him at his place later than night WHEW

Girl I would be sweating… and you say yes ofc because who’s going to pass up this type of opportunity-

He gives you a charming smile and is like,, okay cool, I’ll see you later then 😊 I’m dead

Ya’ll exchange phone numbers and he’s like if you need any help with my idiot teammates let me know before he takes off

You don’t tell Tsumu about your little… entanglement plans dsnjaknda but honestly he wouldn’t even remember based on the way he’s slumped against you in the uber he owes you big time

You get home after dropping off Tsumu at Osamu’s, and operation dick appointment with the professional volleyball player is put into action 😈

He sends an uber over to get you ladies do not settle for less please, and you’re BIG nervous but in a good way as in you know this dick is about to be bomb af

SO you’re standing in front of his apartment door, and when he opens it, he’s still in the clothes he wore to the bar and its like 1 am he’s so powerful

Um I feel like he would get straight to it honestly, probably starts with a little convo on the couch and then…

YOU WEREN’T AWARE HE WAS SO DIRTY,,, it was SO good too like after getting home that night you’re going through a crisis… like you had so much chemistry together for having just met, and you wonder if he feels the same way🥺

You caught yourself in sleepless states some nights, kept awake by the thoughts of the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his five o’clock shadow gently rubbed against your face when you kissed, and how he would hold you(only after a thorough shower together of course)

As it happens more and more, he lets you into his life little by little, and you notice and remember small facts about him and he often remembers a lot of the things you tell him about you, its really enjoyable for both of you

Its weirdly domestic to a point but that’s why its so good for both of you???it adds a bit of spice ??

Sakusa: can you come over tonight

You: sorry the retainer is in already <3 no dick sucking for me tonight <3

Him: I bought pastries from that cafe you like

You: say less✈️ I’m coming💃

AND he HAS jokes okay, like he’s funny as hell and very witty when his true self comes out; but he’s also a HUGE tease and he’ll say something completely straight-faced that someone else might take offense to like “you look ugly,” but you just know he’s kidding from being around him long enough and from seeing the little glint in his dark eyes

It becomes a routine thing while you’re home honestly, and you try your best to hide it from Atsumu because you just KNOW you would never hear the end of it; for all he knows, you met him that one time at the bar and that was that

Everything is going smoothly until you slip up at one of their games

You were sitting in the waiting area with the team (mostly talking to Atsumu), when he just says something that makes your short circuit

Atsumu: what kind of animal do ya think omi would be? An octopus maybe?

You: yeah I mean with those flexible wrists it makes sense

Atsumu: what the fawk🤠

He’s like… how do you even know about his flexible wrists IT TOOK ME 6 MONTHS TO GET TO THAT STAGE WITH HIM-

Oops, lmfao so you kind of tell him about everything and he’s literally shocked for you, mostly because he doesn’t want you to get hurt :(

Atsumu: So I see he’s just sleeping with ANYONE anyone

LMAO noo he definitely thinks you’re too good for him and he kind of lectures you, telling you that he had a hunch that he messes around with girls like that, but also you’re an adult and you can take care of yourself, and it isn’t like it’s a serious thing!!

Meanwhile, Omi is like going through a bit of a crisis all alone because everything around him reminds him of you or something you said when you were together

He got with people who were compatible sexually often, but he never had the urge to have them stay over after the deed; he usually immediately called them an uber and wouldn’t speak to them again

He found himself thinking about seeing you in the stands at his games, wishing you were there to cheer for him only, and he adored the way you respected his boundaries unlike many of his hookups

Atsumu probably notices something is off with him at practice

Atsumu: hey…if ya ever want to talk about somethin’-

Sakusa: no

Girl… he doesn’t disclose any of this to anyone

Its nearing the end of your break, and you head over to sakusa’s for probably the last time before you go back to school

You’re kind of at the point where you don’t think anything will happen and you know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, and it goes how it usually goes? Except he kind of hugs you goodbye and your heart goes: 🦋🦋🦋

You go back to school, occasionally texting Tsumu about your graduate program, and before you know it, like 5 months pass by and you’re back for summer!

Tsumu texts you and is like… sorry but I’m forcing you to be my plus-one tonight for this dinner thing I have to go to

So you dress up and he comes to pick you up, and you’re really not sure why you were surprised to see Kiyoomi sitting at the table when you arrive you give Atsumu a nice smack on the back of the head for not warning you

You sit down at the table after greeting everyone, trying your best to not act awkward when you shoot sakusa a small smile that he returns politely (but you don’t see it because of his mask)

Atsumu sits weirdly close to you the entire dinner with his arm around the back of your chair, and he’s just acting strange in general??? Like he’s bragging about your degree program and about your accomplishments, you just know he’s trying something funny; but you don’t really say anything because you don’t want to disrespect him in front of the team’s staff as a guest

You almost choke on your wine and you catch on when Bokuto starts making comments after Atsumu says something,

Atsumu: …so yeah, pretty much she should be our next president in my humble opinion

Bokuto: 🙈WOAH. WHAT?😍 HOW COULD SHE GET ANY BETTER⁉️🙄 OR HOTTER⁉️💪🏼💋

You, sitting there: 🧍‍♀️

He’s so bad at acting I’m crying..,, it becomes so obvious that they’re trying to make Kiyoomi jealous

(the boys plotted beforehand, trying to get Omi to ask you out officially; after you left, he literally would never shut up about you whenever Atsumu mentioned you, and it was just obvious he was in his feels when it came to you)

Atsumu: she’s studying at a café tonight for finals

Sakusa: Yeah so I’m glad you brought it up, because I’ve been thinking about it for days. Fine I guess I’ll say it. Her favorite coffee blend is French roast and she only likes a dash of sugar with a lot of cream, but it has to be hazelnut creamer or else she doesn’t like any-

Everyone in the gym: 🗿

LMAO ANYWAYS ITS LOWKEY WORKING you look over at him and his face is like stone.. girl..

The dinner is almost over and Atsumu gets up to go to the restroom with a wink I hate him, and you get up to catch a breath of fresh air outside

You sit on a bench for a minute, calming yourself down after the eventful dinner, but then you see the door to the restaurant swing open, Sakusa looking around the corner before spotting you

Your heart pounds in your chest as he walks over and asks if he can join you, inspecting the bench before sitting down, pulling his mask down as well

He eases into a conversation by just asking you how you’re doing, basic stuff, but then in the middle of you going off on a tangent about your stupid professor, he stops you

“I missed you.”

He crosses his legs, not looking at you as he takes your hand, intertwines it with his, and places it in his lap

You gaze at him, taken back at his confession, noticing the slight pinkness tinging his pale cheeks

You say you missed him too, and then he’s asking you if you would like to go on an actual date with him

You: wait are you asking me out officially?

Him: Yes. No I’m not. Yes I am❤️

SKSLD Please he’s awkward help him a little, you agree and then you hear a tap on the window behind you, you turn around to see Tsumu, Bokuto and Adriah behind you with big grins on their faces LMFAO 🤡

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, but you don’t miss the small upturn of the corners of his lips as he hears Bokuto happily scream through the glass

#dont even get me started w this i dont want to look at it anymore ❤️#JUST TAKE IT LMFAOOOO #sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu headcanons #hq #sakusa kiyoomi x you #haikyuu x reader

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kodzukoi · 3 years

Note

You know I’m the fandom’s resident hurt/comfort slut.

I’ll start with Karasuno, lemme know if you want others. I’ll either go school by school or mix em up like a cocktail.

HEY GUYS THERES SOME TRIGGERS IN HERE! PTSD, Panic Attacks, Depression.

Fluffy hcs first:

Tanaka can BAKE Bro

He learned from Saeko obviously

World famous lemon bars and peanut butter squares

They’ve actually won competitions

Daichi is a doggo dad!!! I REPEAT!

He has a corgi named Mochi, and a pug named tofu.

Yes the third years bully him for his name choices, why do you ask?

Nekoma is Karasuno’s crutch, and vice versa.

These bbs will deadass go down swinging for each other. It doesn’t matter if they have a close bond with the player or not, they will defend them to the grave.

Hinata thinks toilet paper should face outward.

Kageyama completely agrees, but only disagrees to fuck with him

Same thing with cereal before milk.

Kageyama’s favorite drink isn’t milk!!! It’s warm chai!

When the team learned this, they always made sure to get the setter one whenever they were at a coffee shop.

Tsukki can play drums. That’s it. That’s the post.

SPEAKING OF MUSIC-

Behold my favorite Haikyuu headcannon.

Tadashi Yamaguchi can s i n g.

He takes lessons, practices all the time, is in concerts and showcases all over the place.

The second he musters the courage to talk about a song that he’s making good progress on, the team asked when his next concert was, because you bet your sweet ass they all simultaneously thought to go. Daichi didn’t even have to make it requirement.

Ennoshita is so fucking good at chess. Even Tsukki can’t beat him.

Noya collects keychains!!

He always asks his teammates to get him one whenever they travel.

Eventually, they all just did it by default to surprise him.

Suga introduced the team to meditation.

Asahi falls asleep most times

Noya and Hinata find it the least beneficial because they are awful at clearing their minds.

“Dude when I tried to clear my mind, I immediately thought ’do penguins have knees’?”

“I heard about four songs at the same time and could see through the eyes of someone making a painting.”

Speaking of Asahiiii :)

The team comes to him with uniform troubles!

He’s sewn loose ends, hemmed calf length shorts, tied off loose threads, repaired broken seams. Etc.

Kinoshita leads locker room: the musical at every single game.

It totally boosts the team’s morale and it’s like the dumbest songs ever

I mean like Take on Me, Bohemian Rhapsody, or Careless Whisperer, YES THEY MAKE THE SAXOPHONE NOISES WITH THEIR MOUTHS WHO DO YOU THINK THEY ARE??

Narita is a fucking s h a r k at board games.

Is the reigning champion of every single game. Every. Single. Game

Yachi likes to try and teach the boys how to use a camera.

It helps her share her passion for photography

And for the love of god some of these boys need another hobby.

The only ones who retain what she tells them are the third years and occasionally Tanaka.

Daichi takes KILLER photos dude.

Kiyoko, being the true girl boss she is, loves to surprise the team with treats every now and then.

She’ll bring homemade baked goods, little handmade goodie bags, or will buy the team pizza with her own money before they have a big game.

“Do your best!”

Good ol’ coach Ukai.

He’s ensured that he has crates upon crates of yogurt drinks, Gari-Gari Kun Popsicles and meat buns on every single delivery truck that comes to his store.

His boys make him so happy, why shouldn’t he return the favor?

Takeda takes music requests while he’s driving.

Sometimes the team will bump to banging oldies, courtesy of coach Ukai, throwbacks, courtesy of the third years, or well known songs, courtesy of Kinoshita, because he really really loves leading Karasuno: the musical.

Angsty hcs

Yamaguchi constantly considers quitting the team bc he’s insecure in his progression

Whenever this happens, Tanaka will bring him homemade peanut butter squares, watch Disney movies with him, and talk his ear off about how proud he is.

I like to think they have a lil bond. So like Yams will deadass just send him a sad face, their established code (courtesy of Tanaka), and the second year is already asking Saeko to pack him a bag as he leaps into the kitchen to make peanut butter squares.

“Code Pinch” is what they use, so their parents don’t know of their plans. But the second Tanaka frantically says those words, Saeko drops whatever activity she’s doing without hesitation.

Ennoshita regrets having formerly left the team, because he felt so bad for letting the team down in the past.

Tsukishima is super stoic, as we all know. The only people he confides in are Bokuto and Kuroo.

He knows Yamaguchi has many issues of his own, so he feels it’s unfair for him to dump more on him.

One night during their blocking training, Tsukishima was totally spaced out and the two noticed, so they took him into a little supply room.

They sat in a circle in silence, both resting a hand somewhere on his body (I would say kuroo on the knee, Bokuto on the shoulder), until he finally talked to them about what happened.

They def do a two man hug when beanpole started to cry. And like mans sobbed bc he hadn’t cried in like 10 years.

Bokuto would just sing to them super softly until Tsukki stops crying.

And it just so happened to be his favorite Disney song which only made him cry more

Narita and Kinoshita are called “side pieces” by other teams.

As soon as they got to nationals, someone from an unknown team made a snide comment to Tanaka along the lines of “try not to kill your captain again, buzz cut.”

This absolutely triggered a PTSD episode in Tanaka and flattened his mood.

Our resident bad boy deadass teared up at the thought of it happening to anyone else. (OUCH POOR BABY I LUB HIM SO MUCH WHY HURT HIM EVER)

While Daichi went straight to him to help him, the random dude was faced with two scary teams.

Karasuno, and Nekoma.

Kuroo glares straight into this man’s soul and-

“You say anything like that to him again, and there’ll be stumps where your feet should be. Got it?”

I deadass think that bc of the way they’re drawn that Nishinoya bites his nails.

It’s not even a nerves thing, or a bad habit, it’s a mental thing.

Something tells him he has to do it.

Is so insecure about it, and constantly wishes to wrap his fingers before matches.

Every time Kageyama lashes out at a teammate, he goes home and cries.

And Tsukishima’s snarky ass comments don’t help either

He doesn’t ever want to be king again

Sugawara goes through random depressive episodes.

Like the super bad ones where all you can do is lay in bed for a few days and can’t feel anything but static.

Does he have someone to help him? Most times it’s Daichi, who will just come over and be this mf’s servant.

He will carry Suga if he has to. Mans has to get up and eat, drink and pee.

He does it without hesitation though. He never complains.

When Daichi isn’t there, or he can’t even muster the strength/courage to tell his friend, he goes through it alone and tries his damndest to go through the cycle he does with Daichi.

Sometimes he does it, most times he fails. He only gets relief when Asahi notices he isn’t at practice and immediately races to his house after it’s over.

When Hinata’s adrenaline runs out on the bus, his panic disorder kicks in.

The kid is intimidated by height and power. Literally he has to have panic disorder

He has the type of panic attacks where he can only squeeze his eyes shut and choke as tears leak from his eyes.

He also vibrates really badly, which alerts whoever is sitting behind him about the attack. It’s usually Tsukishima and Yamaguchi.

When it happens, Tadashi taps Tsukishima lightly, getting the mid blocker’s attention. He then wordlessly points to Hinata with a sympathetic look.

Tsukki nods and does the same to Kageyama, minus the sympathetic look.

You can see the heartbreak in the setter’s eyes as he somberly nods. He wordlessly places a hand on Hinata’s knee, alerting his presence.

“I’m gonna hug you. I know you can’t reply, but if you don’t want me to, find a way to give me a sign.”

If he can’t stand being touched at that point, Hinata will viciously slap his thigh.

If he can, he doesn’t do anything and lets Kageyama wrap him up and pull him into his lap. He whispers sweet nothing into the bb’s ear.

“Listen to me. Listen to my heartbeat. It’s only us.”

If that doesn’t work, Kageyama holds up a peace sign behind him to alert the two in the seat that he needs help. The two immediately rise to their feet without hesitation or protest.

Tsukishima quiets down the bus entirely and tells the coaches, as Yamaguchi takes Hinata into his lap and sings You Are My Sunshine and A Spoonful off Sugar. (Okay fucking ouch that one hurt more than Tanaka’s.)

Asahi constantly wishes he had a partner, and thinks he doesn’t because he’s unlovable.

He deadass has a playlist called “lonely hearts club”. And one of the songs on there is Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof

Daichi is overwhelmed by everyone coming to him with issues, but he never lets it show.

His coaches are the only ones who check in with him

Absolutely in stitches when it happens, like bb is just so overwhelmed that he cries and cries. Ukai wraps him in a super tight hug as he continuously whispers to him that “it’s all okay.”

Coach Ukai? Yeah he’s in awful debt.

He won’t ever tell the team, or Takeda. He doesn’t want to owe more money, or be seen as incapable of surviving on his own.

Takeda gets burnt out very easily

Ukai actually takes some time to help him grade!!

They put on a calming playlist and work together.

Takeda handles the essay questions and Ukai takes the multiple choice, since he has no fucking idea what he’s looking at.

Yachi really wants to be an actress, but her anxiety completely fucks up her auditions.

Oh yeah the team 100% puts on little skits amongst themselves.

Oh yeah it’s 100% for her

Kiyoko is so afraid of graduating.

She’s worried that she’s going to lose herself without having a group of rambunctious boys to take care of.

She’s also scared she won’t be able to make the same bond with others that she did with the team and the coaches.

DUCKY, MA'AM, YOU REALLY LIVED UP TO YOUR POSITION I—

10/10. 10 out of motherhecking 10.

I THINK I LOST IT AT SUGA'S AND THEN I WAS FULL ON UGLY SOBBING AT KIYOKO'S

i'm going through the whole "shaking, crying" shebang rn...

oh my god ;-;

wait let me be more accurate

tears came at tanaka's

FELT NOYA'S ON A REALLY PERSONAL LEVEL T-T

KAGEYAMA'S WAS T-T

oh my lord

yeah after tanaka's, i definitely lost it ;-;

#ask and ye shall receive #can i ask u for more hurt/comfort hcs soon please ;-;#i'm definitely keeping these btw like ;-;#someone go get me a bookmark !#bookmark: checkout #bookmark: ⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑

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mensusaonlinestore1 · 2 years

Text

WHY INVESTORS IS NOW LOOKING CANNABIS INDUSTRY? WHAT IS IN IT? PIPE DREEMZ EXPLAINS IT IN DETAIL

Cannabis or marijuana or weed or Vang or Ganja (all mentions the same) industry size was just $10 Billion in back in 2010.

Investors always skeptical and predicts double digit growth until 2025 and projected to be $50 Billion by 2025 and may expand further. Compared with 2010 it’s obviously a 50 times growth but still hampered by Pandemic.

Cannabis industry set to be $72 Billion by 2023 not exact growth as it gave in 2010 to 2025.

Well, pandemic had affected almost every business out there. Compared with the other businesses, cannabis business hardly took a hit probably due to its medicinal and health effects.

But things could change anytime because the health benefits of cannabis is being accepted around the world and more and more countries legalizing at least medical marijuana (we are hopeful for recreational marijuana too)

What medicinal values does marijuana have?

Well after searching Internet I found the following things –

ü It can be used to treat Glaucoma.

ü It may help reverse the carcinogenic effects of tobacco and improve lung health.

ü It can help control epileptic seizures.

ü It also decreases the symptoms of a severe seizure disorder known as Dravet's Syndrome.

ü A chemical found in marijuana stops cancer from spreading.

ü It may decrease anxiety.

ü THC slows the progression of Alzheimer's disease.

ü The drug eases the pain of Multiple Sclerosis.

ü Other types of muscle spasms could be helped too.

ü It lessens side-effects from treating hepatitis C and increases treatment effectiveness.

ü Marijuana treats inflammatory bowel diseases.

ü It keeps you skinny and helps your metabolism.

ü While not really a health benefit, marijuana spurs creativity in the brain.

ü Marijuana might be able to eliminate Chron's diseases

ü Pot soothes tremors for people with Parkinson's disease

ü Marijuana helps veterans suffering from PTSD.

ü Marijuana protects the brain after a stroke

ü Weed reduces some of the awful pain and nausea from chemo, and appetite.

ü treats wasting syndrome associated with AIDS

ü Accompany multiple sclerosis and chronic pain.

Well, marijuana could be divided according to use in two ways – medical & recreational, as discussed earlier. For more detailed explanation go through pipe dreams blogs.

Now, What made medical cannabis different from recreational cannabis and vice versa? Well, simply the chemical compositions and uses. As per the names the medical cannabis is for medical purposes which are too discussed above while recreational is just for personal use like – cigarettes, alcohol. Legal provisions in both USA and Canada may be different for both types and cannabis. Like – In Massachusetts payment is being accepted in debit cards and cash both for cannabis purchase however in case of recreational cannabis only cash payments accepted. If you want to buy medical cannabis in Massachusetts you must be 21 or older and need state issues patient card and doctor’s prescriptions/authorization to consume cannabis in case of recreational cannabis you just need to provide a Govt. issues ID card mentioning your image and age (which must be 21 or older). You can only buy 10 Ounce of Medical cannabis within 60 days period while you can only buy 1 ounce of recreational cannabis with your govt Id.

Well, In United States only two states Maryland and North Dokata have clear cut marijuana laws which allows keeping, retain, and process cannabis for both medical and recreational purposes.

In Canada, we legalized cannabis through Marijuana for Medical Purpose Resolutions which later replaced by Access to Cannabis for Medical purpose Resolutions or ACMPR in 2016 which facilitated full scale cannabis production, retention, processing and growing of cannabis for both medical & recreational purposes. Canada probably the only country to do so.

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So, health Canada does not give anyone license who is waiting to be build or yet not build. We only offer licenses who already build the cannabis facility. In case of rejection pipe dreemz will again help you for re-submission and will work until cannabis license is approved.

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Apart than this, health Canada will help you to implement Greenhouse Prevention Program, Review of QA System, Design and validation of building conformity to GMPs, redaction-review of key documents, Quality Control of documentation of activities, GPPs Conformity Document, Production Schedule Planning, and Inventory Management etc and so on.

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myrulia · 3 years

Text

An Oiran's Sacrifice - Kokushibou x Oiran!Reader

CHAPTER 3

Oiran

Oiran (花魁) was a specific category of high ranking courtesan in Japanese history. Divided into a number of ranks within this category, oiran were considered – both in social terms and in the entertainment they provided – to be above common prostitutes, known as yūjo (遊女, lit. 'woman of pleasure')

Warnings: Panic attacks, mention of past trauma

Word count: 3,543

Previous chapter ☆ Next chapter

`` Young Master Hiroto, I apologize for interrupting your private time with Lotus, but she is needed at the moment. Something terrible has happened. ``

Just as you were about to drop your kimono from your body, your eyes practically doubled in size upon the sudden outburst of Sakura. Pulling up your kimono swiftly and completely forgetting about Hiroto in the process, you leap to your feet and sprint to where Sakura is standing, gripping her shoulders with wide eyes. `` Sakura, I beg of you to explain to me..! ``

`` I assure you I will. Master Hiroto, please excuse us. ``

Hurriedly, Sakura escorted you from Hiroto's sleeping quarters, guiding you throughout the estate until the both of you were alone - not entirely but at least you did not have to worry about the other oirans telling anyone your business. You felt your breathing slowly rise in rapidness, worry filling your nervous system at what could have possibly happened in the span of one night, especially after Kenta's murder in his own home that no one suspected.

Everyone guessed he was untouchable due to the sheer amount of bodyguards he hired, and how everyone in the village feared his power and how he could ruin their lives with a simple snap of his fingers. Even still, that was at the back of your head for the reason that whatever Sakura had to say, it was surely to be a shocking surprise. `` Now will you tell me please..? ``

Sakura inhaled sharply before speaking once more, taking your hands from her shoulders and holding them instead. `` My Lotus, I am so sorry for what I am about to say, I truly wish it did not happen. `` She paused before speaking. `` Your father was found in his home- ``

`` Dead? Dead?! Sakura-san please promise me he is not- ``

`` Lotus let me finish. He is not dead, rest easy and try to breathe. `` You followed her orders and inhaled slowly through your nostrils, out your mouth, repeating the action multiple times before you knew you would be ready to hear whatever she had to say to you. `` Atsuhashi, your father, was found with his eyes cut out, laying in the corner of your house and barely breathing last night. Your neighbors luckily called for help from the local doctor and they were able to stop the bleeding get too out of control. He is okay now, he just is now permanently blind. ``

You listened intently, trying to retain any information said but it felt like your mind was trying to block out her words. She noticed your expression went from neutral to utterly horrified, so Sakura quickly pulled you into her embrace, trying to calm you down.

`` I understand how you might feel, it is okay Lotus, let it all out. There is nobody here who will judge you. ``

That was all it took for the water that built up at the bottom of your eyelids to finally slide down your cheek. A few choked sobs managed to escape your gritted teeth as you clutched onto Sakura's kimono even harder, blaming yourself for the inconvenience of your father getting tortured in such ways. You allowed yourself to let go of the small barrier that blocked you from allowing anyone to see you so down, let alone people you met just yesterday. She could tell that you were obviously hurting, so without a second thought she rubs up and down your back, trying to help you calm down in any way.

In a way, it did help calm your nerves, because her same movements reminded you of those your mother's.

Although you could not allow yourself to become too attached, so backing away slowly, you wiped your tear-stained face and sniffed in any mucus that threatened to drip from your nose. Sakura allowed you to calm down a bit on your own, letting go of your still slightly shaking form and backing a foot away, even a gentle smile on your face. `` How about you take some time to yourself, calm down and come back when you are ready. Of course, do not leave for too long, you know the demons become active only in the night. ``

`` I under-understand Sakura-san, I shall not take long, `` and with that, you left her standing there as you navigated through the large minka until you were outside and inhaling the fresh air surrounding you. It was hardly past 12 and your day had already gone to hell. First the murder, and now your own father becoming injured all in the same night. It should not be this surprising, because at the end of the day, he did steal and those who still had it out for him were bound to get back at the man who stole from them.

Thinking deeper into the entire situation caused a small cramp to overtake your lower regions, and the more you gripped your lower abdomen the more painful it got. The only way you were really taught to control your emotions is by blocking them out - courtesy to your father. Yet, Sakura's advice on calming you down genuinely worked, somehow. So, repeating the breathing technique she said earlier, you inhale through your nose, and exhale out your mouth, and repeated the process for a good few minutes until your lower abdomen finally kept cool.

You kept your gaze on the ground, you had not realized just how far you traveled into the forest beside the Suzuki estate. It was a serene forest with a small river flowing down not to far from where you stood. Bamboo stalks growing just by the river bank was easy to see, for they stood tall and proud in the bright sunlight that beamed down upon you. It was truly calming, so you took slow strides and enthralled in the beauty of the nature around you, even seeing a few squirrels climb up trees and scamper around.

It gave you a chance to clear your head, but obviously there was that lingering thought in the back of your head about what would have happened if you had just stayed with your father instead - but thinking more into it, you realize that you would not have gotten that chance if you did not take the offer of working as a yūjo. It was so angering deep down that you could not have done anything about the situation, it was simply out of your power. `` None of this would not have happened if he would just stop stealing..! ``

Before you could register anything, your next choice of words seemed to roll off your tongue effortlessly. It was no lie that you have been withholding a few bits of your feelings from your father, but it was only in view of the fact that he would simply tell you to stop talking and go to bed. Per usual, you would listen to his orders and brush off any lingering questions, but this time, you were alone, and with that new found freedom, you felt like you could finally let out everything you were holding back. `` He always thinks for himself..! He claims to care about my needs yet he continues to steal even if he's caught! It does not make any sense whatsoever so why can he not listen to his own daughter for once?! ``

You had to admit, yelling out your inner emotions gave you a sense of relief, it even made your eyes turn bloodshot as you came to the realization that you were a second thought to your father. His accusations were to benefit him in the end, and that reality slapped you in the face harder than you wanted it to. `` If mom never died, this would not have happened!, `` you finally admit to yourself after pondering a bit more. While your mother was on this earth, she was like a blessing to your village. Everyone would constantly compliment her of her beauty, even you who would accompany her whenever she needed to buy something from the marketplace.

It did not stop at her beauty though, for her voice was as soft and smooth as silk. It held a constant gentleness to it no matter who she spoke to, and whenever she would sing a lullaby so you would fall asleep, your eyes would be closed in a matter of seconds because her voice had an effect on you that you could not explain. During her marriage with your father, their smiles never seemed to stop. They indeed did love each other oh-so dearly, and seeing your father genuinely love another woman gave you that second hand happiness that you desire, even to this day.

The painful memories of your mother's passing quickly washed over you, and suddenly that same agony came back as you felt your heart almost ache to feel the happiness you previously had as a child. You shouted out, loud enough just so that you could feel some pain leave your heart, but nothing could stop it. `` Mother how I miss you dearly.. please return to me! Fix father so he can be better and be a happy family again..! ``

No matter how much you yelled, no matter how many tears you shed, she was never going to return and that is just the truth of it all. Your heart ached and throbbed even more painfully so you choked out another sob, one that still made your chest tighten. Your vision became blurred and you could no longer make out your surroundings, just different colored green blobs, and the sound of water slowly fading.

It felt like your world was slipping from your feet, and soon enough after all the pain and lack of breathing in your chest, it suddenly went away, and your surroundings turned dark, no longer being able to sense anything around you.

You had fainted.

◆◇◆◇✧◇◆◇◆

It was yet another night that he was sent out again by his Lordness, Muzan Kibutsuji, who still had more plans for the six eyed demon in the rural area of your village. Kokushibou aimlessly jumped from tree to tree of the same forest that he navigated through after he mercilessly slaughtered Kenta Suzuki, who he felt no remorse for because in the eyes of the Upper Moon One, the murder was long overdue.

It was only a few minutes past sundown, and yet Kokushibou was the only demon active at such an early time of night. It was all to satisfy his Lordness' wishes, because that it what he devoted his 12 Kizuki life to.

Or was it?

The demon had other reasons for wandering out so early in the night, despite his main priority to fulfill the orders bestowed upon him. He continued to aimlessly jump from tree to tree until he noticed a body laying on the soft grass near a small stream of water. He stops in his tracks and eyes the face of whoever the body belonged to, and due to his supernatural vision, he could tell it was you.

`` Foolish human, why are you out at night? `` Kokushibou asked to your unconscious body, landing only a few feet away from your laying form. He took slow strides and eventually he was now kneeling in front of you, scanning your body for any wounds or dirt. It only took the male a few seconds, for he took note of your tear-stained face and partially reddened cheeks and could easily make the guess that you found out about your father's misfortune.

Still eyeing your face, a calloused and veiny hand inches closer to your cheek, brushing away any stray hairs that was blocking the male's view of your resting facial expression. He stared, longer than he should have, at how peaceful you looked not knowing of the evil being that had just touched you without your permission - even if it was something as innocent as a small brush of skin contact.

Huffing out through his nostrils, Kokushibou simply pulls you off the ground with one arm, slinging you over his shoulder so that it would be uncomplicated to navigate his way back to the minka you were residing in against your will. It did not take him long, for he is indeed very fast and it only took him seconds since you were nothing but a limp body that was hanging off his broad shoulder. Using his free hand, he pushes open the sliding door that opened into a large hallway, and so entering, he closes said door behind him and quietly strolled until he could pick up your familiar sent from another source, your bed.

He pushed open the sliding door slowly yet again and quickly set you down on your futon so he would not have to worry about you being on his shoulder - or hitting a wall. The Upper Moon shut the door once more, only to walk past your futon and sit beside your laying body. He did not know why he did such things, but a miniscule voice in the back of his head told him to stay and watch over you. He gave in rather easily despite being a stubborn one whenever he so chose, but tonight, on this bright moonlit night, it truly was something different.

You shifted around on your futon, getting used to laying on something softer than the ground that you were previously laying on not too long ago - not that you were aware of that. You continued to writhe and twitch until your eyes finally gave up and slowly fluttered open. The first thing you noticed was a large body, easily bigger than yours by a long shot, sitting directly in front of you. A veiny and pale hand was resting on the thigh of the mysterious figure who sat silently in front of you, watching your every move under the impression that you were aware of your surroundings. `` Hiroto..? `` you had guessed, since the only other male in the minka could not gain access to you so easily.

`` I am not this "Hiroto" you speak of, `` said a testosterone-heavy voice. The small rasp at the end made you jerk your head up, only for your gaze to be met with one of the pairs of many eyes on the somehow attractive creature. You backed up instinctively, your back pressing against the wall as you felt a scream of confusion and obvious terror build up in your throat, but the being used his large hand to cover your mouth, leaning closer to your face - enough so that there was space - but close enough that made your stomach churn ever so slightly. Eventually the scream you had wanted to voice out was suddenly shrinking until you felt no urge to do so, and in noticing that, Kokushibou withdrew his hand from your face, sitting back down so that he was in a meditation pose almost.

`` What- What are you..?, `` you asked hesitantly, your voice showing obvious signs of reluctance for you did not know who the being with 6 eyes was and how he even entered the minka without being caught. Your head was throbbing painfully - but that was the least of your worries, for there was an unknown creature before you.

Kokushibou, who was still staring with his narrowed eyelids, ponders if he should just be honest. It is not like he can lie, after all, his appearance gives him away. Yet, there are so many different things in your world that a 6 eyed male could be mistaken for a humanoid spider. `` I am a demon. A creature bound to the night only. ``

You felt your heart pulse and your blood flow circulate even faster in view of the fact that there was a man-eating creature sitting in front of you. Fear did strike your heart, but you were smart enough to know that if a demon wants to feed, it would do so long before a chatty conversation. Looking into his bright golden irises that seemed to have a bright luminescence, you notice the middle pair read the words "Upper Moon One" in kanji. You, who knew little about demons and never had any experience with them, did not understand why such things were in his eyes, but you figured questioning it would only complicate things.

`` You read my eyes, did you not?, `` the demon spoke again, gaining your attention at how he indisputably read you like a book. You simply nodded and lowered your gaze so that you were now staring at your own lap. `` Why do they say Upper Moon One? ``

`` Because that is my ranking of the 12 Kizuki. ``

You were still partially confused. 12 Kizuki? A demon having a high rank? It was all becoming too painful for your head to comprehend just what the hell had happened in the few hours that you fainted. You felt light-headed, so falling forward slowly, your vision becomes ever so blurry as your head aches painfully. Kokushibou, who had been sitting directly in front of you, was able to catch your body before you fell completely forward, your head landing just on his muscular chest. Kokushibou was well aware of your strong emotions and unstableness, and knew all too well what you felt like, but he himself could not explain the feeling he felt in his own body at feeling the contact of your warm skin on his own cold hands.

The ends of his fingertips felt light as they ghosted over your skin, only to have them trail up your face to properly examine you.

Your eyes were almost closed, but you could make out a hazy silhouette of spiky hair and bright eyes staring down at you. The second you finally came to, you took notice of the cold hand on your jaw, holding your head up so your gazes could properly meet. Kokushibou, who still kept his eyes interlocked with yours, felt his undead heart skip a beat. It was a strange feeling, for he has not felt such things in so long that it felt like a fever dream almost - but he was not going to allow himself to be distracted by a mere human woman.

Your eyes doubled in size when you felt yourself being pushed back gently, just so that your faces were not as close as they were seconds ago. You sat there, confused, and in slight pain on your lower back side. Inhaling a breath, you lower head preparing yourself with questions you still had on your mind. Should you ask them now? Would he get annoyed and kill you? There was only one way to find out. `` What happened in the last 4 hours? ``

You had enough competence to know that you fainted just as the sun was setting, and seeing as how it is well past moon-rise, you made the assumption that you were out for quite a period of time. You looked up at the bigger demon in front of you who had yet to say his name - but that is a question for another time.

`` I found you laying in a forest a little after sundown. So I carried you to where your scent was emitting from another source, that being your sleeping quarters. ``

It was common for the supernatural being to have enhanced abilities that humans are not capable of possessing, so you were not startled to hear as such. The only bit of information that really got to you was the fact that you fainted in a forest, vulnerable to anything in the area. If it was not for the demon before you, another of his kind would have devoured you without hesitation.

`` I hope you do not mind me asking..- but what is your name? ``

`` Kokushibou. ``

Hearing the name roll off his tongue so easily was a confusing feeling to say the least. The name itself sounded like he was powerful, and it would not be so surprising so you disregarded the saya hanging from his hips. From seeing that alone you made the presumption that he knows how to wield such a weapon with ease. `` Kokushibou.. Kokushibou…`` you repeated outloud to yourself, letting his name escape your lips and dissipate into the air.

The Upper Moon One listened to you mutter his name out loud. He solely sat there not really sure of what next to say - or address for that matter. Of course the demon had no regrets for what he did to your father, Atsuhashi, but telling you now after your emotions spiking and causing you to faint in a vulnerable area gave rise to a ping in his undead heart. He could not pinpoint what the feeling he felt exactly was, for he has not felt such strong emotions in centuries. How are you having such an influence on his usual habits?

`` Kokushibou, why are you still here? If you are here to consume me, then why have you not done so already? ``

`` I do not know, `` was all the male said. He eyed your confused expression that he read in a matter of seconds. Truth be told, he really did not know why he had not left when the opportunity presented itself at his doorstep, so why had he not taken it?

What was he experiencing why was it you out of all beings who started it?

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

#kokushibou #kny kokushibou #kokushibo x reader #kny imagines #kny x reader #An Oiran's Sacrifice #kny fanfic #demon slayer kokushibou #demon slayer fanfic

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years

Text

Calm after the storm (dad!Nathan x fem!reader)

Summary: dad!Nathan / ex-husband!Nathan and angst. He comforts your son during a storm. You were always better at dishing out comfort, but Nathan is trying his best to learn how. He’s had to, since you left him. If only he could get you to come home, after he pushed you so far away.

Author’s note: my 1st go at writing something emotional / angsty with Nathan. Different to my other Nathan stuff, so won;t be offended if you don’t like it! No-one asked for this but this popped into my head and ended me and I figured I’d drag you down with me. Will add taglists tomorrow :o) (If you DO happen to like it, please let me know! Writing has been so slow for me lately and honestly I’m just pleased to have finished something.)

Warnings: language, themes of children, divorce / separation, angst, alcohol abuse / misuse, parent!reader.

Warning that there is zero smut in this. Nathan is literally a father when I say daddy here. Just to be clear. Some may feel this is ooc (I may have used a bit of license with his character to achieve angst, but actually, I don’t think it’s too far from a potential truth?)? Mistakes etc. maybe, but I can’t look at this a second longer so here it is.

Word count: 8.8k (sorry!)

Nathan’s head whips up from his computer screen as he sees a tiny, shadowed figure appear in the doorway to his lab. He pauses his frenzied typing, but retains the frown weighing on his brow.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, buddy,” he says sternly, bathed in a pool of blue light and looking at the child from beneath his lenses. Hell, when did it get so dark?

“I’m scared,” a tearful little voice says, and Nathan sighs, pushing back his chair with a small, thin-lipped smile as he regards the boy. His soft, dinosaur-adorned pyjamas have been twisted by sleep, and he is rubbing his balled-up fists into his cheeks, a pet lip trembling beneath. Nathan never did understand the kid’s obsession with dinosaurs.

Unlike father, unlike son.

Things long dead and gone? Nathan didn’t like to look back, after all. He looked ahead. Moved forward. There’s nothing for me over my shoulder.

With his headspace out of his work, Nathan suddenly notices the rain drumming down against the skylight. The rumble of thunder and flash of lightning carving the sky open.

“The storm?” he asks, rising to meet the boy as his little feet pad with trepidation across the cold lab floor to his father. The boy nods. He looks slightly uncertain, since he’s not allowed in the lab, but enters and sticks his arms up into the air all the same. He does that tentatively too, since Nathan hasn’t historically been generous with affection; and yet, this time, Nathan wordlessly scoops him up on to his hip, his heart clenching as the boy’s wet, grabby little hands fist into his Henley. His severe gaze softens instantly; though not all the way. The gesture is still a little rusty.

“That’s illogical, bud - it’s not gonna hurt you. Let’s get you back to bed.”

Irrational. Emotional. Unlike father, unlike son.

You were always better at the comfort stuff. Of course you were. Still, Nathan thinks he’s learning, without you. He’s had to learn.

Nathan quietly carries the little spider-monkeyed bundle back to his bed. He offers no words of comfort, but he does offer a firm and reassuring pat on his back as he walks. The boy smells of bath bubbles and baby oil, mixed-in with fresh detergent and that indescribable kid smell, and Nathan feels alarmingly soothed as he inhales the scent.

A flood of memories comes back, but he pushes them down. There is nothing for him over his shoulder, after all. Nothing in the past he would care to resurrect.

Carefully balancing the boy with one strong arm, Nathan peels back the covers and slots him back into his soft bed, the glow of the nightlight illuminating the boy in a blue halo.

Like father, like son.

The man securely tucks him in and smooths the covers, his eyes alarmingly gentle now, even amidst his stony face; however, the boy is still not entirely placated. His eyes are still wide. His bottom lip is still trembling.

Nathan sighs and lowers himself on to the edge of the bed, his genius brain struggling with this problem. Apparently, simply telling a 4-year-old they’re being illogical doesn’t cut it. Children; so inefficient. So tiny and fragile and…

The best thing I ever created.

Let’s hope he doesn’t grow up to stab me in the chest.

“Okay,” he begins, with a sweep of his hand over that buzzed head of his. “Do you know what static electricity is, buddy? One of the forces which attracts or repels things? Remember?”

“Repels. Pushes things away?” the small voice asks him.

I pushed her away. I’m a force. A force of nature. A storm.

Fear is often based on lack of knowledge. Nathan imagines if he explains the storm, he can demystify it. Take its power away. Still, the 4-year-old looks up at him in confusion, little fingers tightly gripping the edge of the bed covers. His mess of curls splaying over the pillow like a rolling black cloud.

Maybe you did get your mother’s average brain.

We can hope you got fuck all from me, kid.

“Come on, champ, we talked about this...” Nathan sighs, with mild impatience, and then he thinks some more – just like he’s always thinking, except algorithms make sense to him, and how could he hope to solve this?

Nathan shuffles up on to the bed until his back is against the wall, perpendicular to the boy. “Okay,” he says, slapping his palms gently against his thighs. “Remember when we were at Ankita’s party, and you rubbed that balloon on your head, huh? And then all of your hairs stood-up and it kinda tickled?”

The child giggles – a sound that punches Nathan in the gut. “Yeah, Daddy, and it didn’t work on your bald head.”

Nathan exhales through a small smile which doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“So, you remember,” he nods, waving his hand in the air as he tries to find simple language to continue his explanation. “Well. It’s like the sky is having a party, and the clouds are rubbin’ up against each other, making all this static. Understand?” Nathan continues, and the child is rapt, listening to his father’s deep, steady, sandy voice. “But clouds don’t have hair-“ there is another giggle, and this time Nathan’s eyes do crease with his smile, “-so instead they send their lightning forking out in all directions. You got it?”

“A party?” the boy enquires, still unsure. His hands gripping more tightly to the covers and his face inching further below them as a particularly loud rumble of thunder sounds overhead.

“Right. A party.” Nathan runs with it, pleased that he’s getting somewhere. Moving forward. Making progress. “And parties can be noisy, right? All that dancing and singing and scraping chairs around?”

The kid briefly looks at his father as if he’s stupid -a trait you’d always had nailed- but in the next heartbeat he seems to accept the explanation given, the fear in his eyes beginning to ease, though not entirely gone.

He’s still afraid.

Like father, like son.

It’s evident that Nathan needs to devise something even more soothing. He vaguely considers trying to explain the unparalleled lightning and surge protection in-built into this facility, but he thinks better of it. He instead plumps for something he dearly hopes the kid will understand somewhat better than he comprehends static electricity. “You’re safe here and nothing can hurt you,” he says, raising his eyebrows up from beneath his frames and delivering an intent stare, smoothing a broad hand on the boy’s chest and shoulder. “I promise, kid. Would Daddy let anything hurt you?”

“No,” the boy answers, peeking up at Nathan with big eyes, shaking his little head and rustling his curls against the pillow. It breaks Nathan’s heart that his voice wavers, as if he’s a little unsure of his answer.

“Exactly. Not in a million fuckin’ years.” Nathan says adamantly, his deep, dark eyes intense with conviction to emphasise his point.

“Daddy!” The boy gasps when Nathan curses, little palms rising to clamp down over the shocked “o” of his mouth.

“Ah, shit. Don’t tell your Mama I said a naughty word, okay?” Nathan sucks air through his teeth and delivers a sheepish half-grin.

“I miss Mommy.”

The boy blinks. His eyes sad, his emotions constantly unmasked. Feeling. Always feeling.

Unlike father, unlike son.

Nathan’s chest tightens. He scoops up the plush dog, Crunchy, from on top of the duvet and settles her in the boy’s arms, buying him some time to arrange his busy thoughts.

Thinking. Always thinking.

The dog is so named since it spent the boy’s early years crusted with dried-in food and mud and whatever else. Nathan had dubbed it Crunchy Mutt, and the name had stuck. Memories nip at his heels, but he doesn’t let you creep back in. Doesn’t fill the gaps.

Nathan emits a shallow sigh. He misses you too.

Like father, like son.

His eyes are almost soft, almost apologetic as they meet the boy’s again. He is sorry, in that moment, for depriving the boy of you for half of his time. He shouldn’t have to miss out on you. You shouldn’t have to miss out on your son. Nathan knew all this was because of him.

Nathan had sworn never to let anything hurt you, either. To look after you, and yet...

I pushed her away.

I’m a force. A force of nature.

A storm.

“Mommy’ll be here to get you in the morning.” Nathan says in a taut, gruff voice, his beard bobbing as his throat wrestles around a hard swallow. “To take you… home.” At that, finally the boy finally looks content and sleepy, stretching his little face into a big yawn. Still, selfishly, Nathan no longer wants to be alone in this storm - alone with himself - and so, he keeps talking. “You know, your Mommy loves storms like this.”

“Really? Mommy doesn’t get scared?”

“No.” Nathan shakes his head, eyes becoming burdened with memories. “We would sit out on the deck, wrapped in blankets, and watch the lightning. Listen to the rain.”

“It’s science 101, genius. You can’t work in the lab during a storm. You might create Frankenstein.”

“Fuckin’… how many times? It’s Frankenstein’s monster, sweet cheeks. Frankenstein is the doctor.”

“I know, asshole. At this point I just say it to rile you. Never fails. You stay here then, and play at creating life. If you want to play at living one, I’ll be out on the decking.”

“How about I do both?”

“What are you saying, Nathan?”

“What about we make something together, while the sky is fucking rife with creation?”

The boy springs up in bed, capturing Crunchy in a choke-hold in excitement.

Nathan raises himself to standing - beginning to backtrack, and snapping back to the present day. Compartmentalising you. Putting long dead things to rest. He knows better than to look over his shoulder for too long.

“Can we go outside and watch it, Daddy?”

“Nuh uh. I don’t think so, buddy. It’s way past your bedtime. Go to sleep now, okay?” His voice is sterner again - his gaze back to being more severe.

Still, he guides the boy back down to the mattress and plants a soft kiss on to his forehead, brushing his dark curls back. He kisses Crunchy on the head too, as he is routinely instructed to do.

“Night, kid. Night, mutt. Come on, off to sleep.”

His hands move to his hips, elbows cutting a sharp shape in the near-dark. The boy, however, looks wide awake, a smile playing at the corners of his lips, and an excited glow on his face.

“Please, Daddy?” the boy pleads, with big, puppy dog eyes. So closely resembling your eyes, which Nathan always was a sucker for.

Yep. He’s definitely your son.

Nathan is about to use his stern voice, and his finger is moments away from wagging. And yet…

“Fine. Quickly then,” he concedes. “Get your coat and shoes on. And find your little red hat with the Pom-Pom that you look fuckin’ adorable in.”

“Daddy! No bad words!” the kid scolds, even as a smile of glee bursts on to his face and he wriggles out from beneath the covers.

“Yep, sorry! Don’t tell Mommy,” Nathan repeats on autopilot.

The boy springs out of bed and zooms with enthusiasm to his little closet, while Nathan gathers up some blankets from a neighbouring chest.

Sure - it was past the boy’s bedtime. Yes, Nathan had a lot of coding to rehash. But Nathan had lost you. He had let work consume him until there was nothing left for you. He was always looking ahead to what could be, and he didn’t pay enough attention to what he had, when he had it. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes again. Not with his son. This time, at least, work could wait.

Once the pair are both dressed in their outerwear, Nathan hoists the boy up on to his hip again, and carries him out to the decking, on the side of the house with the best view of the storm churning over the miserable valley. He clings on to his son tightly as the pulse of lightning illuminates his awed little face, a perfect mixture of your features and his, and yet someone entirely his own. The boy gasps and shrinks back from the vast, roaring sky, nuzzling closer into Nathan’s chest, grabby hands fisting in his clothes again.

“It’s okay, buddy. It can’t hurt you, understand?” Nathan reassures.

The child visibly relaxes, absentmindedly tangling his fingers into the soft texture of Nathan’s beard.

He does that when he’s nervous. Seems to calm him down, Nathan notes, and files for later.

“Look, Daddy!” the kid points as forks of lightning raze through the blackened sky, sparkling eyes following the display.

“I saw it, champ,” Nathan confirms, as the storm lights up his child’s face in more ways than one. However, Nathan is more awed by his boy than the storm. By the boy you and he created, on a night not unlike this one.

He fixes his eyes on him as he grows in confidence, facing his fear of the braying wind and rumbling thunder. Being a parent is everything Nathan anticipated he would hate. Full of things you can’t control, and yet, he loves every way this boy surprises him.

Shit, he’s braver than me, Nathan thinks, as he cradles the boy in his arms, holding him just a little bit closer – a little bit tighter.

Nathan isn’t afraid often. In fact, in his adult life, he’s only been truly afraid a handful of times. On those occasions, he didn’t face it like the boy did. He tended to bury his fear, in a landslide of work and drunkenness and insults and excuses. To cocoon himself in his own self-interest.

Nathan was afraid when he fell in love with you, even despite his best efforts not to. He was terrified he didn’t deserve you.

He was afraid when you told him you were pregnant; he was terrified of creating another thing that hated him.

But Nathan has never been as afraid as when you left him, and took the boy with you. He was terrified that you would never come back.

You were brave. You were so brave that you never ran away from a storm, and yet you had fled from him.

What kind of storm am I, if even you ran from me?

Despite his fears though, Nathan was learning to be brave. He’s had to, since you’ve been gone. For his son, for you, he would fight off any foe or threat. Turns out, he would even do the hardest thing of all, and fight his own demons.

Yes, Nathan knew he was a stern man. Serious. Flawed. Unyielding. An asshole, a lot of the time.

He hadn’t been ready. To be humbled. By you. By the boy. Hadn’t been ready to face his shortcomings and his demons and look them in the eye.

He was afraid of creating something that hated him, but he hadn’t been prepared to create something better than himself. A child who was open, and kind, and brave, and loving. Who wasn’t afraid to feel, and to be kind.

Unlike father, unlike son.

The boy made him strong. The boy was just like you.

“Wow!” the boy gasps at another display of lightning, even though he jumps slightly as a loud rumble of thunder sounds. The shock makes him laugh - a sweet, musical, innocent noise that makes Nathan’s chest tear in half like the sky. The boy watches for a while longer as the storm tires itself out and the boy with it, the rain dying off to a pleasant lulling noise.

Nathan looks up at the sky too and he feels almost complete, until he looks to the other side of him; where you should be. Until he looks over his shoulder. To where long-dead things still haunt him.

“Mommy will be sad she’s missing the storm, won’t she Daddy? Can we send her a selfie?”

No tech after 5pm. Bed by 7pm. One of the co-parenting rules rings in his head.

It’s 2:30am, and he worries you will ride him for this, but surely this is an exception, right?

“Sure we can, bud,” Nathan responds, and he fishes his phone out of his pants pocket. The boy nuzzles into his chest in that adorable red hat, and gives a thumbs-up as Nathan extends his arm to grab a quick selfie. “Great photo. She’ll love it. What shall we tell her?”

“Hmm...” the boy thinks, and then he lands on the perfect words. “Say… I wish you were here,” he says with a toothy grin, unaware of the emotional sucker punch of his words.

Nathan’s chest tightens again, and he attempts to school the frown from his face.

I wish you were here.

Like father, like son.

Smoothing himself, he types out a message.

“Storm watching with Papa bear. Kid says: I wish you were here.”

“Ok,” he says softly, pinging the message away to you. “Done.”

The boy beams at his father.

“Will she type back?”

“Dunno, kid, she might be asleep.”

Tiredness hitting him, the boy nuzzles closer and Nathan gently rocks him on his hip, the boy’s eyes gradually closing.

When Nathan feels his phone vibrate, he lifts it back up, bathing the pair in a halo of blue once again. He is surprised to see a photo. There you are, wrapped up in a chunky cardigan and blanket on your new porch.

You’re watching the storm too, and god, you look so beautiful that it hurts him.

Beneath the picture, you have typed out: “Storm-watching, Mama bear edition. Wish I was there too, baby bear. I’ll see you in the morning. xxx”

He knows the smile and the wave and the words are solely for your son’s benefit, and not for him, but oh, how he wishes.

“Mommy’s watching the storm too!” the boy says sleepily, barely able to keep his eyes open in the comfort of Nathan’s warm, strong arms, as his soporific movements rock him back to sleep.

“Yeah, bud, she is.”

And Nathan tugs the boy into his chest, bouncing him on his hip and stroking his hair -as much for his own comfort as anything- until he is soothed too.

***

After the boy is safely back in bed, Nathan plods sullenly back down to his workshop, bathing himself once again in a blue halo. His fingers gravitate naturally towards the keys, and though he should work, his mind is very much elsewhere. His mind is wrapped up with long-dead things.

With a heavy sigh, he fishes his phone out of his pocket again, and spends a wistful moment staring at the picture you had sent him.

“Fuck it,” he says, and he lifts up the photo frame he’s had face down on his desk for some time now. For months.

Longer.

It’s a picture of you and him and the boy, out on a hike a few years ago. Nathan is carrying your son in a harness on his front, and you are side by side with them, clasping the baby’s hand in yours, and your head leaning on Nathan’s shoulders. You’re all smiling, though none of you had managed to look at the camera, only at each other.

The sight of it makes Nathan’s throat constrict. Lights a fire of yearning in the pit of him. A fire he’s tried to quell and resist for so long – hasn’t let himself feel, because he’s afraid of the power of it.

He stares at his phone again, so many things he wishes to say, but all he has the courage to type is:

“Just letting you know. Byron’s back to bed now, before you ride me for keeping him up. Woke up scared.”

Your reply pings back almost immediately, as if you were expecting him.

“Come on, Nathan. I’m not a monster. It’s a sweet picture. He looks happy.”

Nathan scratches the top of his buzzed head, and he sees the tell-tale dots disappear and reappear, signalling you are considering typing something further.

“Say it,” he types out to you, blunt and demanding as ever, and although the dots disappear for a moment, you come back - finding some courage yourself, perhaps?

“I wish I was there too.” He wonders if you held your breath while typing it, like he did when reading it.

This time, it is Nathan’s turn to convey nothing but dots to you, as he struggles to respond. As his pulse thrums in his ears.

“Say it,” you echo, just as plainly.

He takes a deep breath, knowing he’s going to curse himself for his stupidity even as he types the message. He has been earning your trust back. He has been rebuilding. He hasn’t pushed you too far yet, and yet he can’t help but plead with you now.

He says what he most needs to say.

“Come home.”

He stares at the phone, his heart hammering in his mouth.

But there’s nothing. No message. No dots. He throws the phone down on the desk.

Fucking idiot, he chides himself, launching himself out of his seat with a surge of nervous energy, and coming to rest his forehead and elbow against the cool window pane as he tries to steady his nerves. This is why he doesn’t let himself feel. Because when he does, it’s too much.

Nathan’s best quality is also his worst. He isn’t a man of moderation. He doesn’t know how to stop. When to stop. He never has.

Doesn’t know when to stop working, drinking, striving, fighting.

Loving.

He loved you enough to split the sky open, and god damnit, he doesn’t know how to stop loving you. How can he solve this problem?

I pushed her away and she might never come back.

He feels a tightening in his chest - worse than before - and he has thoughts of reaching for a bottle until he’s blackout drunk, or hitting the punchbag until his knuckles bleed, but he bites those urges back down.

He has to. He has to, because his kid is in the house. For him. For you. For his own good too.

Gradually, Nathan -who once naively believed he had already attained perfection, superiority- has become a lot stronger, and a lot braver. A lot better at feeling his emotions instead of pushing them down. He has learned it from the boy, who learned it from you.

Still, despite this newfound courage -or, perhaps as a result of it- he has his moments of weakness, just like anybody else. He’s not untouchable. Not a god any longer.

Nathan is weak when it comes to you. He loves you. And he doesn’t know how to stop.

Overcome by the impulsive need to hear your voice, and ignoring all reason, he tracks back to the desk and calls you.

You answer almost instantly, as if you were expecting him.

“Nathan...” you say, in your eminently familiar voice, and he can he the agitation and accusation veiled as you say his name. What are you thinking? Always thinking. He’s always thinking. Yet, no- this time, he is only feeling. Finally feeling.

Still, Nathan doesn’t respond until a taut pattern of breaths has been laid like a tightrope for him to walk across.

Then, with a deep exhale, he asks you again. A plea. His face sharp and contorted in the blue light. He is terrified of falling.

“Come home.”

“Nathan...” you say, again. What are you thinking? And the sound of his name in your mouth causes a lump to rise in his throat. He hears your discombobulated breath on the other side of the line, and it is all too familiar. You were always charged, rubbing up against one another, causing static. He was always a storm; the one storm that could drive you away.

Come home.

“I wouldn’t even know how,” you insist, your voice paper thin, syllables soft and measured and sorry like raindrops drumming against a window pane.

You were always his release. If he was the energy and commotion and anger behind the storm -the severe, withholding clouds- you were its beauty and majesty and release. Together, you created life, and you destroyed each other.

Nathan hunkers over on the desk, leaning his head in his spare arm for some morsel of comfort, his guard up over his face.

“Just walk through the door tomorrow and stay,” he says tiredly, as if it’s simple.

He hears you sigh again, exasperatedly - the sound he induced all too often, when you were together.

“It didn’t work Nathan,” you say through your teeth, like lightning might spark through them at any moment. “How would this be any different?” Still, he can hear the tell-tale break in your voice. A gentle plea. God, could you really want to come back to him? If he could find the right answers to your questions?

“I’ll be different,” he promises, all the muscles in his face pulled taut. His face and his body aching with the tension of the sky splitting open, creation or destruction imminent.

Fuck it. Fuck everything else. Enough of this. The measured conversations, the co-parenting, the negotiations. You are what he wants - his family back together; home.

True- love hadn’t come easily to him at first. He was an asshole, a misanthrope, a closed book. Sex came easily to him. Desire. Infatuation. Thoughts of you, bordering on obsession as they took over his busy mind. But love? That too came, in the end. But love as a verb- the act of loving?

Nathan had sworn he didn’t want love at all, but then, there was you. He has sworn he had no desire for the legacy of a child, and yet, then there was the boy. For all his arrogance and grandiose dreams of the ways in which the whole world might remember him, he was finally ready to admit that all he wanted was to be remembered by you as a good husband, and by the boy as a good father.

He had never wanted to create another thing that hated him.

It didn’t come naturally to him at first. He was withholding, stubborn, rigid, and self-involved. Still, when he was motivated, there were other, finer qualities Nathan possessed too. Dedication, focus, discipline. When he was motivated, he possessed those in abundance. Turns out, love is one hell of a motivator.

Turns out, sometimes it is still not enough.

“I’m doing better,” he offers as he is met with silence, clenching his fist in discomfort as he hears you sniffing intermittently through the phone.

“I know,” you enthuse, your voice almost sickly with sincerity. “I know. I’m proud of you, Nathan.”

But Nathan doesn’t want your platitudes.

“Baby, please. I love you,” he pleads, and even in his plea his voice is stern. He refuses to let it crack. He states his truth as a cold, hard fact. He loves you. It’s undeniable. It’s logical, that you should be together.

“You know…. You know that I love you too.” you say, your voice small and full of holes. A sigh billowing out of you. “Shit, Nathan…” You sniff on the other end of the line with greater frequency – definitely crying. Nathan knits his brows together, his eyes brimming with tears that he fights back.

He thinks of all the times you cried and he didn’t reach out to you. He would give anything now to wipe your tears away.

“Come home, then,” he pleads, bluntly, swirling with hurt like silt stirred up by the rains. It hurts. It hurts to feel things. “Fuck, why are you so fucking stubborn?”

You huff out air as he snaps and instantly, he knows he’s fucked it. He wishes he could retract the words but it’s too late. They’ve already become breath. Already thunder, splitting his sky in two all over again.

He throws himself back in his chair in defeat, his hand rasping over his buzzed head in some unconscious attempt to comfort himself. “Shit, look, I just-”

When your voice interrupts him, it is perfectly smoothed out. Cold. Withholding.

So that’s how it feels.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nathan.”

There is a beat, and you soften. You always soften. “I’ll come get him later so you can have some extra time, okay?”

Nathan sighs loudly, catching a glance of his calendar on the illuminated screen.

“Fuck. I have a meeting at 11am- I thought you would collect him early so I booked a board thing-” he says tiredly.

“Fine,” you bite off.

“No. Wait, I’ll rearrange,” he backtracks. “Let me have more time,” he reasons, his voice softening. He tips up the photo frame – that blessed and cursed item- and brings it to rest on his thigh, torturing himself with your smiling face. “Please. I need more time.”

You are silent for a moment, and this time when your voice comes back, it is level, but infused with intentional warmth. He hates that tone. That tone where he knows you are placating him rather than speaking your mind, just so he doesn’t do anything stupid. He hates that it must feel like you have a guillotine hanging over your head at all times, because you feel like you can’t push him over the edge.

“Fine. Get some sleep, Nathan, okay?”

He huffs out air, a sharp, self-pitying guffaw, and he rubs his eyes underneath his glasses, the frames lifting from the bridge of his nose. “Right. I can’t even fuckin’ sleep without you.”

There is another pattern of breaths, and whatever tightrope Nathan might have tried to walk across to reach you snaps. “Don’t do that, don’t guilt me, Nathan.”

The worst thing is, you don’t even sound angry. You just sound… tired.

“I’m sorry,” he pushes out, muffled through a hand over his beard, and though this time he means it, the words come out sounding entirely insincere.

“Sure. ‘Night. Try and get some rest, okay?”

Now that -that sounded genuine. Sincere. You never stopped looking out for him. Even if you couldn’t stand to be around him any longer.

“Yep,” he says tautly, with little feeling, and he hangs up, tightening his grip on the photo frame in his lap before slamming it back down on the desk along with his phone.

He leans back in his chair for a moment and buries his face in his hands. “Fuck.”

I pushed her away. I did that. I pushed her away.

With a knot building in his chest, partly out of need and partly out of habit, Nathan drags opens the desk drawer where an ever-replenishing stash of vodka used to reside. Where instead, he has taped a picture drawn by his son. For moments like this.

It helps, but it’s not always enough.

Nathan knits his brows together, his face set with a stony resolve, and his dark, turbulent eyes awash with a storm of emotion.

The boy. He’s braver than me.

Somehow, because he has to, perhaps- because he’s had to learn how, Nathan smooths himself. He cannot solve the problem of how to bring you home, when this simply isn’t home to you anymore. So, instead, he bathes himself in blue light. He basks in the glow of algorithms he can solve, and works and works his mind until it shuts off. Feeling to thinking to nothing.

I’m a force. A force of nature. A storm.

He can do anything he sets his mind to.

And… fuck. I pushed her away.

Anything, perhaps, except bring you back.

***

The next day, you arrive to collect your son.

It is familiar by now. It is an encounter that Nathan both longs for and dreads, in equal measure. Today, especially so; especially both.

Byron runs down the hallway and leaps into your arms, the sound of your laughter scooping Nathan out from the inside as you pepper the boy with kisses, a toothy smile on his angel face.

In these encounters, the moments are always too fleeting; always slipping away too quickly. It seems to happen so fast that it’s a blur to him, his mind zoning-out and working through a million things he wants to tell you, and simultaneously hyper-focussed on every single aspect of you he’s missed desperately. He wracks his brain for the right things to do and say, as if desperately searching for the one remnant of code- the one function or command that will simply make you stay.

With effort, he tunes back in to the scene as the boy wraps his arms around his leg.

“Did you pack Crunchy?” you ask Nathan, as he hands over the kid’s weekend bag to your waiting, outstretched arm.

His mouth opens to respond, but you are already unzipping it and rooting through the bag, checking in amongst the clothes and tiny boxing gloves and dolls for the dear mutt. You find him nestled in there safely, and you smile softly at Nathan for remembering.

You shouldn’t be surprised, he thinks. He remembers things – he remembers everything. It’s forgetting he typically needs a little more assistance with. Maybe he does look over his shoulder more than he’d care to admit.

You ruffle the boy’s crow black curls as he clings to his father’s leg, snapping your hand back as if you’ve been burned when Nathan opts for the same gesture in the same moment.

You opt to fold your arms against your chest instead, casually clearing your throat. “What did you do with Daddy then, baby? Have you had a good time?”

“We watched the storm,” the boy begins animatedly, swinging around Nathan’s sturdy leg, “and we did boxing and I learned a new combo,” the boy looks up at his father who nods and smiles gently in proud confirmation, hoisting the kid up on to his hip – a gesture that is becoming increasingly less rusty- “and we did a new trail to the glacier, and, um, what else Daddy?” Byron asks, waving his up-turned palms in the air and turning to his father for guidance. Nathan dips forward to whisper a prompt in his ear. “Oh yeah! And we watched Trolls and I put lots of my dolly’s bows in daddy’s beard,” the boys giggles, and scrunches his fingers through Nathan’s wiry hairs.

The kid’s smile is infectious, even fracturing Nathan’s stony resolve, and it has the three of you joined in a smile for a moment, until Nathan sees your eyes mist subtly over with tears as you observe the father and son together. You quickly quell them, but they don’t go unnoticed.

“Oh yeah?” you ask, voice expertly smoothed, and a masking smile on your face. The strength of you. “Did he look pretty?”

“Yeah, I guess he looked pretty,” the boy giggles. “And this morning Daddy taught me about static electric.... um-” the boys stumbles over his words for a second, and again looks to Nathan for guidance.

“You got it -go ahead,” Nathan encourages firmly.

The boy gains confidence, brushing his black curls out of his face with a little hand before continuing. “Static electricity, right?”

“Right, champ,” Nathan says, and as the boy barrels happily through his recital of events, Nathan barely realises that he’s holding him a little tighter, because with each moment that passes, so fleetingly, he feels it’s getting increasingly harder to think about letting him go.

“And Mommy, did you know this whole valley was made by a glacier that crawled all the way along and carved out all the shapes of the hills and then melted, like, a super long time ago?”

“You know, I did know that, but that’s smart of you to know too, baby,” you say fondly, a tremble at the corner of your lips that the kid doesn’t see, but Nathan is sharp enough to catch.

And then, suddenly, Nathan has no trouble contemplating passing the boy over into your arms, because you look like you need someone to hold too. However, as he motions to do so, Nathan can see tears threatening to spill out of the corner of your eyes. You shake your head subtly at Nathan in apology as you brush away a stray tear, in a moment you hope the boy won’t see, so, instead, Nathan sets your son down on the ground. He crouches and pulls the boy’s shoulders squarely to face him, providing you with a discreet moment to compose yourself.

“Hey, buddy,” he says softly. “I remembered I need to talk to your Mommy about boring grown-up stuff. Gas prices and 401ks and… major yawn. So, hot tip, you might wanna go and play in your room for 5. That okay, champ?”

“Okay,” the kid says, unphased, and skips off down the hall.

That leaves Nathan and you in the hallway. He hover-hands his palm against your lower back and gestures, with his other arm, towards the living space, guiding you towards the seating area.

You sit on opposite sofas, positions stiff and formal, hands clasped on laps. Your gaze looking just past Nathan because you can’t seem to meet his eyes.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asks gently, feeling a lump grow in his throat. He hates this- how tense it is, when you used to be so intimate and relaxed around each other. “Why are you crying?”

Unlike Nathan, you were usually an open book, yet this time, you decline the invitation to share. You pinch your lips in between your teeth.

You’re so strong, and so brave that it breaks Nathan to see you succumb to tears like this. Plus, you’ve given so much already- so much love, and so much heart, and he hasn’t given you nearly enough back.

Still, he looks at you from beneath his lenses, gently encouraging, waiting until you are ready to share. Your gaze fixes on a spot in your lap. “I… It’s just. Seeing you and Byron together. Why in the hell couldn’t you have been this man while we were together, Nathan?”

Nathan’s heart aches at your words. Years ago, even months ago, he would have bristled. He would have snapped back at the insinuation that he was ever in the wrong. Ever less than godly.

This time though, he lets the sad truth settle over him like a dark cloud. And, as much as he wants to pull you towards him, he also- and he can’t believe he’s going to do this- he realises he needs to push you away from him one more time. There is only one way to solve this. To let you go. To realise it’s your choice. You are out of his control. Unsolvable.

He shifts his position, until he is perched on the coffee table in front of you, his palms resting on your knees and smoothing circles there. His dark, calculating eyes intent on yours, and for once unobscured by agendas. For once, he has things to say to you that aren’t intended to provoke a particular response, or establish a particular gain. He has things to say that he simply needs you to hear.

He needs to show you his fear. He needs to face the storm he was never too afraid to create, but was always quick to flee the wake of. Nathan imagines if he explains the storm, he can demystify it. Take its power away. Then, even if you don’t come home, at least there can be calm. Calm after the storm. Both of you able to move on, with all the cards laid out on the table.

With effort, he begins.

“I’m sorry,” Nathan says gently, and even with those two words a gentle sob wracks your chest, perhaps with the relief of a weight you didn’t know you were carrying. “Honestly, I don’t think I told you that and meant it yet. So, I’m sorry. About last night, by the way. But, shit, about everything that I did, and didn’t do…” Your hands come to clasp his in your lap, fingers gripping fingers tightly as his face contorts with regret. His dark eyes wander over your face as tears stream freely down your cheeks. Where once he would have shied away from you, in a state like this, now he has courage enough to be present.

“I missed you,” he continues, his voice tattered by emotion. “I miss you. I didn’t want to tell you that. Didn’t want to admit that I’m scared either. But I am. Of losing you. Scared that the best thing for us… the best thing for you, might be being without me. To get out of the black hole I suck everything in to.” Nathan tears his eyes away from yours as his vision becomes blurry with tears, his voice cracking. “I’m scared because I love you, and I love that fucking kid and I... I’m scared that I might get better, and be better… but that you, and him… that you still might deserve better. Better than me. So, I’m sorry. Actually fuckin’ sorry, for all the ways I’ve been a dick. Shut you out. Put you last. Made you hurt.”

“Nathan,” you breathe through tears, as if you can’t fathom this onslaught- this emotion tearing your chest in two, like the sky on that night.

He reaches up to fumble some tears away from your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “I need you to know that I finally see it, even if it is too late,” Nathan nods to himself, eyes fixed down at your hands clasped in his. “I see that if had to lose you to realise what I had; I never did deserve you. You’re so… fuckin’ unreal. And he’s just like you. And,” Nathan presses on, despite the mortifying ordeal of baring his heart to you. Despite the tears which finally spike out of the corners of his eyes too. “I need you to know. Even if it didn’t last forever… This fuckin’ family? It will always be the best thing I ever created. And if there’s one thing I want to be remembered for- any fuckin’ legacy I wanna have, I just… I need it to be known that I love you, and I love that fuckin’ kid. I want you to be happy, and I’ll always regret that I didn’t make you happy while I had the chance to.” He huffs out another small, self-pitying laugh “Guess in the end, I’m an idiot; not a genius. Guess I should have realised that when I got stabbed by my own AI…”

He drags his big brown eyes back up to meet yours from beneath his lenses, and your eyes are shining softly at him, brimming with bittersweet pain, and you tug him into you for a hug, holding him close and your tears wetting each other’s shoulder.

After a moment he pulls away and settles himself back on the edge of the coffee table, already missing your embrace.

“You did. You made me happy, Nathan,” you promise. “So, so happy, and so, so miserable,” you let out a small, self-pitying laugh too, and then suddenly you are both laughing, as bizarre at that seems, as you palm the tears away from your puffed cheeks.

When the laughter fades, you reach out and place your palm fondly on the side of his face. Nathan knew that even in all his years of marriage, he had never been so vulnerable with you as he had been just now. He knew that had been precisely part of the problem. He had thought it would feel horrible to open up, but he finds that he feels fresh, like ground after nourishing rain.

Your gaze flicks back to him, and he swears he can read the look in your eyes.

Why couldn’t I have been this man when we were together?

Then, it is as if you remember you are touching him. You snap your hand back from him, and back from the brink as if you have been burned. It would be so easy, Nathan thinks. So easy to just fall back into you. As if wrestling with the exact same thought, you surge up from your seat, wiping the remainder of your tears away and immediately putting some distance between the two of you. You track to the nearby mirror, leaning forward to fix your appearance a little, before the boy returns.

Nathan watches you fondly. Longingly.

You turn back to him again, a little more composed, and retake your seat opposite him – in the same spot, but feeling much further away this time.

You bite your lips between your teeth, gazing at that same spot on your lap again.

He wishes he could reach out to you. Take in the textures and scents and feel of you in all your glory. But he does not want you to jump away as if you’ve been struck by lightning.

“I miss you too, you know? I miss our family. When it was good it was…” your voice is small and you trail off, perhaps not wanting to look too far over your shoulder. With a visible effort, you seem to drag yourself back to the present. “Byron adores you, you know that? I don’t think I’ve told you this since we… but you’re a good father, Nathan.”

A pride ignites in Nathan unlike anything he’s felt before.

He opens his mouth as if to speak, and instantly closes it again, his throat bobbing around a hard swallow before he can push his words out.

“Just a terrible husband?”

You shake your head. “No,” you say, with a wistful expression on your face, and Nathan is surprised that you sound sincere. “No, not terrible at all.”

Nathan knew his flaws well enough, but you always reminded him of his attributes. You never poisoned the boy against him, even though the split was largely on him – a fact he had denied for a long time, because it was your decision. And, because of your strength and commitment to that, the three of you -oddly- had never made a better team than you do now.

He examines your face. Your beautiful face.

Come home. Please.

For your sake, he makes an effort to lift his thin smile up until it creases the corner of his eyes.

“I think you’re forgetting what an asshole I can be,” he smiles lopsidedly at you and succeeds in lightening the air. Lightening it a little too much. Enough that there is an alarming hint in your eyes of what used to be there for him. He hopes it is not the shining of false hope.

It would be so easy. So easy to kiss you.

You chew some words over in your mouth, and Nathan can see their failure to launch on a couple of breaths as you wring your hands in front of you.

“You, um. Last night… you asked me to come home.”

Nathan’s breath stalls in his chest.

“Did you mean it?”

Nathan can’t speak suddenly. He can only nod, slowly, tears sparkling in his eyes as he looks at you.

“I could… I could never just move back in. It didn’t work, Nathan. But… maybe…”

Nathan holds his breath, like a latent storm, the hint of a new energy buzzing in the space between you.

“Maybe,” you continue tentatively. “We could start over again. See if we can build something new. Not the same old patterns. No looking over our shoulders or trying to resurrect what’s long-dead. Instead, maybe we – I don’t know- try to create something… new?”

While the sky is rife with creation.

“You’re good at that. Building things,” you finish, fondly, everything about you tentative yet somehow hopeful, and Nathan’s chest constricts, his blood thrumming nervously through his body in a blind panic.

Just shut up, Nathan, and don’t fuck this. Just refrain from being a dick for five fuckin’ minutes.

The muscles in his jaw twitch. The vein on his forehead pops, yet his whole body is still. Breath bated.

“Like, fresh code?” he asks, with shining, hopeful eyes.

You nod, and it is the tiniest gesture, but one that means the absolute world to him.

A new way of doing things. Moving forward. Looking ahead.

“Sure, I guess - fresh code.”

Don’t fuck it up, Bateman, you fucking shithead.

“Yeah,” he agrees weakly, yet with all the conviction in the world. “How?”

Anything.

You nibble on your lower lip, thinking things through as you go. “Take me out for dinner. A first date. Somewhere away from this goddamn house. From everything that happened. All the… mistakes.” As Nathan’s eyes swim with guilt and regret, you squeeze his hand, dipping your head towards his to catch his gaze. “Yours and mine.”

“Yeah. Yeah, ok,” Nathan responds, his eyes glowing as they meet yours.

He immediately feels you withdraw from his burning hope, and so he consciously tries to reel his natural intensity in.

“No promises, Nathan,” you caution, firmly.

He nods, slowly. Outwardly disciplined and measured.

Don’t fuck it. Do not fuck this, you mother fucker.

“And please, don’t get his hopes up?” you say as a quick aside before delivering a broad smile over Nathan’s shoulder, signalling that the kid had arrived back in the vicinity.

The boy runs over and starts happily wheeling a toy news truck over Nathan’s thigh. The man unconsciously, automatically, winds his arm around his son and dips a kiss into his black curls, causing your eyes to shine softly in admiration. “I love you, champ,” Nathan says, the words heavy with the weight of his feeling even as he reaches to tickle the boy’s tummy, earning a chaotic giggle.

“Love you too, Daddy,” the boy replies, but Nathan pats him gently on the back.

“Time to go though, bud.”

“Yeah, baby. We should… go,” you announce, and yet there is a tug of hesitation in your voice. A rope binding you to Nathan which he is desperate to reel in; however, he pushed you so far away, and he knows that if you do come back to him, it must be on your terms. In your own time. He understands now.

Nathan leads the two of you to the door and helps pile all of the bags into the trunk of your truck. You strap Byron into his car seat, and Nathan dips to bid him farewell. “Ok, get out of here, kid. Look after your Mommy, you hear me? She’s special.”

There is a moment, before you open the door to slot into the driver’s side that Nathan comes to face you, his hands stuffed into his pockets, a familiar furrow in his brow and tight-lipped expression on his stony, impassive face. “When was the last time you had your tyres checked?” he wonders idly, shifting forward to poke at the tread on the front wheel and finding them satisfactorily safe.

He is surprised to find you smiling softly at him when he looks back at you. You seem like you can’t help yourself, but you lean forward and press a kiss into Nathan’s cheek, your face lingering against his as he closes his eyes and leans in to it, just a little.

You pull back from him, your hand clasped around his upper arm. “We love you, Nathan. Will you be okay?”

His eyes grow overcast. “Uh, don’t like it when you go,” he states plainly, his brow pulled down and cloaking his big, brown eyes with shadow.

You nod in understanding.

“Text me later. About dinner,” you add casually before you slot yourself into the truck. Still, he can see you tearing up, just a little.

“You mean it?” he asks, his stare intense.

“Dinner and we’ll see, okay? No promises.”

He had made you so many promises that were broken.

Nathan nods his agreement and you clasp the door shut. Reluctantly, Nathan steps aside as you swing the truck around, and he doesn’t stick around to wave you off, aside from a quick hand in the air for the boy.

He doesn’t like it when you leave.

He knew he had pushed you away, and now, just maybe you would come back to him. He feels hopeful- ecstatic even- at the prospect, but he can’t help but feel a little guilty. A little selfish too. He feels as though he’s sucking you in to a black hole all over again. He thinks maybe it would be better for you if you could escape him.

But, as Nathan settles back in his chair down in the lab, and gazes at the framed picture of his family, he knows that as much as he has grown and changed - because he’s had to, with you gone- that he will never quite be selfless enough to let you go.

I’m a force. A force of nature. A storm.

You had always revelled in storms. You were always happiest when it rained. Maybe this time, he could make you so, so happy, without the miserable.

Oh, how he hopes.

Don’t fuck it up, Bateman, he thinks, glancing at the picture one more time. Don’t you ever fuckin’ push her away.

This time, he pledges to stop looking over his shoulder, and looks ahead to something new.

That’s what he’s best at.

Fresh code.

He types away, and his chest feels lighter than it has in a long time.

The calm after the storm, perhaps.

#nathan bateman x reader #nathan bateman #ex machina fanfiction #oscar isaac #nathan bateman angst

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captains-writing-desk · 3 years

Text

Bothersome

Universe: Harry Potter

Character: Severus Snape

Type: F!Reader insert (You, Yours)

Warnings: Sexual content.

Prompt:I have a request if that’s okay!! Love your work 🥺 could you do a Snape x adult!reader where she is his Potions assistant and is (almost) better at potion making as Snape... so friendly rivalry please? Can be fluffy or smutty or both!! Thank you 🥺👉👈

Note: Guys I haven’t written smut in ages.. it might be crap... Also I was very tired for the smut stuff so if it makes no sense I am sorry. I have not proof read.

Part 2

Everyday you got to the dungeons to either assist Severus with his classes or your own learning, you found yourself smiling. There was something so amusing to you about how much you clearly irritated him. You had an answer to every one of his snide comments, always just as snide. It felt like joking between friends for you though you knew it annoyed him to no end.

You laughed to yourself as you descended the stairs and got to his class just before his first lesson to set some things up. The door was cracked open as it usually was now since he had gotten tires of your knocking everyday despite him telling you to just come in, you always waited for him to answer.

“Morning.” You muttered and shut the door behind you, he never responded to your greetings so you saw no use in the enthusiasm- faux enthusiasm.

“Fire Protection.” Severus was never one to dawdle so off you went to get the right ingredients and set them out for the class and a small batch for yourself as usual for demonstrative purposes which is where you stopped for a moment.

“Are you going to set me on fire?” You raised a brow as you turned around to look at him sat at his desk.

“Not if you do it right.” He raised his own brow back at you.

“Thought as much.” You mumbled.

“I hope you’re not attached to your hair or your clothes.” He quipped and you laughed, “It’s extremely difficult to perfect to the point where nothing is singed.” He smirked to himself but left an opening for your return.

“Perhaps you require more practice then.” You watched him for his reaction and he frowned at you, unsure what you really meant. “You mean to say you naturally look dishevelled?” His frown deepened disapprovingly and he turned his attention back to scribbling on his parchment while you laughed to yourself. You weren’t seriously taking a dig at his looks, it was common but silent knowledge between you both that it was just being catty and sarcastic with eachother.

Once the sixth years had all sat down and settled Severus began the lesson, explaining that since the Tri wizard tournaments were upon us they would be looking into more dangerous and protective potions, starting with fire protection. He looked at you where you stood at the side of the classroom, leaning on a bookshelf with your arms folded. You took the hint and came forwards as he walked himself to the back of the classroom and you stood where he had been previously, taking a sip from the draught you had brewed earlier.

“If brewed correctly you should be completely resistant to fire. Perfection is key. The more refined it is, the less singeing and burning occurs. Let’s see how well you’ve done.” He looked at you now and brought his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at you looking fairly amused with himself.

“Incendio.” He flicked his wrist and a jet of flames came flying at you. You stood perfectly still and took a deep breath, trusting in your abilities to draught this potion. Flames engulfed your body and danced across your skin for a few moments as if you were truly on fire before dissipating to reveal your untouched form and Severus stood in front of you hiding his brief moment of concern. You turned around on the spot to show your entirely unharmed self, no singeing or anything though you did take a few steps backwards to pat down the tapestry on the wall where the corner was a little on fire.

Severus looked you up and down desperate to find some form of damage as the students just stared in awe and his eyes narrowed at you. He went on to talk about the potion itself and then left them to make their own.

“Impressive. No marks whatsoever.” He raised his brow.

“You sound more disappointed than impressed.” You remarked and he scoffed. “I can’t decide whether you knew I would be fine or if you truly wanted me to burn.” You smirked mischievously, waiting for him to bite.

“I shouldn’t have to babysit you.” He brushed past you to go sit down again.

“You don’t need to. You and I are more alike than you think.” You turned to face him again and approached his desk.

“You reckon do you?” He glanced at you with disinterest.

“We are both waiting for positions we can’t have despite being far better at the subject than the current occupant.” You could barely contain yourself for that zinger and his head snapped up to you, a fiery glare consuming his eyes. Good thing you had that potion. You smiled smugly then turned your attention to walk around the class to see how they were doing.

The class did well for the most part and only one of the pieces of parchment for testing actually caught fire. Once the class was dismissed you cleared up what was left to clear and went on with the rest of the day.

That evening you went back to the dungeons as requested and walked on. Severus was still writing and said nothing as you approached.

“What are you writing? A letter of resignation?” You glanced over his shoulder and he sighed.

“They are lesson plans for you. I shall be away for the day tomorrow so you will be taking my lessons.” He explained as you stared at the pages of writing.

“Are you writing a whole script?! I don’t need all that.” You wouldn’t read all that, no way.

“Well,” He put his quill down, “Seeing as you think you’re better at this than I am. Maybe I won’t leave you anything to go by.” He folded his arms.

“Notes would be fine.” You mirrored his attitude.

“Lost your fire now have you?” He retained his stance.

“No I am still better than you, I just wouldn’t want to confuse the students and ruin their education.” You shrugged and pursed your lips.

“Is that so?” He wasn’t buying it.

“Let’s see your fire protection then, Professor.” You emphasised his title as he stood up. Wordlessly, he waltzed to his store room to get the ingredients as you waited, surprised he took you up on your offer.

No words were spoken as he quickly brewed you a draught and handed it to you. You scoffed but took it regardless, you should have written a will.

“Incendio.” He wasted no time in setting you on fire. Once again the flames danced around you for a moment then dissipated and you immediately looked down at yourself to look for damage but there was none. Severus however was so confident in himself that he walked away to sit down again, as if to reclaim his throne. Quickly you waved your sleeve over one of the many candles that lit the room dimly.

You strode over to his desk once more and put your arm in front of his face.

“Severus.” You waved it a little as he looked up then grabbed your sleeve to inspect. He looked mortified, confused, defeated, sad, angry and just about any other emotion would briefly flicker across his face.

“This doesn’t mean anything.” He finally spoke through gritted teeth.

“It means I’m better at fire protection potions than you are.” You smirked and he watched you for a moment, concentrating on your face. You were confused for a moment before you felt an intrusion in your mind.

“Don’t you dare.” You warned but he stood up smirking.

“You cheated.” He announced proudly.

“You invaded my mind.” You countered and he took a step around his desk closer to you, your heartbeat rising.

“You cheated.” He repeated, his smirk somehow getting more devilish as he advanced on you, backing you up across the room.

“Get out of my head.” You insisted, trying to stop him from digging too far but his advances were distracting you. You hit a pillar behind you, stopping dead in your tracks and he leaned in closer.

“You’re very sneaky. Very sneaky indeed.” Your heart was in your throat as your pupils dilated and fixed on his own. Why had he changed so suddenly? He could see what you couldn’t see that’s why. You teased him for fun yes, but it was fun for you because you enjoyed his retaliation, the way he would glare at you or intimidate you. It thrilled you.

He had seen too much, you wanted him out so you closed the door to your mind. Surely you could have done it earlier though? You shook off your thoughts.

“That was low.” You spoke in a deeper tone and puffed your chest out but he stayed leaned in, close to your face.

“So was cheating.” He countered, still smirking away.

“I didn’t invade your mind.” You feebly argued. Truthfully, you were flustered and frustrated.

“It seems to me that you don’t need me to do that to be on your mind at all. You seem to be doing it just fine all by yourself.” He scoffed, making you blush and drop your chin a little. How embarrassing, more so that you didn’t really know it yourself but with it in the open like this, it made sense. Had you really been so blind to this?

Lost in your own thoughts for a moment you forgot where you were and that Severus was with you, the source of your predicament. Your mind was racing now and situations you’d never really considered before were circulating. Thoughts you would not allow him to see for sure but you felt him pushing, trying to see.

“I told you to stay out.” Your gaze snapped up to meet his own and you pushed back, trying to see his thoughts now but he simply scoffed.

“Not as good as you thought?” He teased and you rolled your eyes. “What are you trying so hard to keep from me hm?” He leaned in to watch your eyes but you held your ground, needing to turn the tables somehow. Alright so he knew he consumed your thoughts sometimes but he wasn’t pushing you away.

“Why are you so keen to see?” Your brow raised and his dropped, clearly not expecting this sort of retaliation. “Did you like what you saw?” You pressed and folded your arms, now casually leaning against the pillar with your head leaned back, fully meeting his gaze. He stood for a moment searching your eyes and biding his time.

At a desperate attempt you felt him trying to push into your head again.

“You did didn’t you?” You pursed your lips and thought 'fuck it' as you opened your mind back up. You watched in amusement as his eyes flickered between your eyes, seeing all these lewd images and thoughts you had involving him. This was still embarrassing but he wanted to know, he was looking for something.

“That’s enough.” He snapped out of his daze and drew himself out of your head trying to collect his thoughts for a moment but there was no way he could compose himself after that.

“Is that what you wanted?” There was an almighty shift in your energy. Your confidence had sky rocketed since figuring out he was somewhat in the same page. His energy then shifted too as his arm came to rest on the pillar behind you next to your head and his expression shifted into an almost lustful gaze.

“What if it was?” This man insisted on playing games but then again so did you. You refused to make the first move however, you pictured him pushing you against that pillar and that’s what you were going to get.

“I just hope you enjoyed the show.” You sighed and shifted your body as if you were going to love out the way but his other arm land on your shoulder and pinned you back but he said nothing. A brief look flickered across his face as if he didn’t mean to do that but he was quickly back to his lustful glare. You were impatient now.

“Are you going to do something or am I just here to keep the pillar warm?” Nothing. “I see. Lost this battle too then huh.” You swatted his arm off his shoulder and turned to move out of the way but he immediately grabbed your forearm and twisted it, forcing you face first into the pillar and used his entire body to pin you against it now.

“You are nothing but a pain in my backside.” He growled into your ear and you scoffed.

“Ditto.” Your eyes flickered downwards to your own backside, motioning briefly to the irony of his statement. His other hand went from the pillar to grabbing your waist making you jump a little.

“I’m going to ruin you.” He squeezed against you quite forcefully and your knees could have given out there and then if he didn’t spun you back around to face him again. His leg now stopping you from bring your legs together and one hand back it your waist. Merlin you had no idea how much you wanted to hear that.

“Took you long enough.” Your lips barely had time to rest after you spoke when the arm he held on to was pinned above your head and his lips were on yours. His kiss was rough and desperate, perhaps because you had riled him up so much before and yet you wanted him closer to you. With your free hand you grabbed the edge of his coat that you could reach and pulled him flush against you, sighing into his lips. Needless to say it was only going to get more heated now.

He placed your arm onto his shoulder and grabbed your thigh, pulling it up around his hips and encouraging you to wrap your legs around him so you let go of his jacket, threw your other arm over his shoulder and hopped up, wrapping your legs around his waist. Your only parted lips briefly as he spun around and took a few steps to his desk once again which you were then placed upon and lips finally parted.

You opened your eyes to find him still fairly close to your face and his hands either side of you in the desk for balance. His pupils were completely blown out as he watched you for a moment as if figuring out what he wanted based in your own expression. Your hands still over his shoulders came to rest either side of his jawline and you attempted to pull him in but he stood solid as a rock and you pouted, wondering if that was it or if you were to be moved elsewhere to continue. He shook his head as if he was angry that he had to do this and he could not stop. He relented and kissed you again, grabbing your thigh and squeezing pretty hard so you knotted one hand into his hair.

Once he parted from you once more to take a breath, you wasted no time in dripping your arms down and grabbing the waistline on his trousers, unbuckling his belt then unbuttoning the trousers and pulling them down slightly. He pushed your hands away and pushed you down forcefully with one hand to the chest making your head hit the table.

“Get up.” He demanded so you got to your feet, “Turn around.” You had to brush against him to turn as he left you no room. “Lift up your skirt and bend over.” Was his final instruction and you slowly followed his orders but too slow for him. You were halfway down to the desk with your skirt almost baring you when his palm landed square between your shoulders and you were pushed down onto the desk with such effort that your skirt flew half way up your back.

He wasted no time pulling down your underwear and giving you a sharp smack across your bared cheeks making you squeak. He did this couple more times as if he was just playing around before getting started. You heard the jingle of his belt buckle as his hand worked against his own underwear and you lay in wait, biting your lip in anticipation.

Finally he kicked your feet out so that your legs parted and you lay flat to the desk. His hand moving from your back to your hip and the other guiding him to press his tip against you, sliding up and down slowly, gliding effortlessly with how wet you were. Once happy with how wet you felt he poised himself in the right position and had both hands now on your hips, pushing himself ever so slowly into you. Somehow you managed to make no sound but you shivered.

He did this a few more times until he grew impatient and thrust harder into you, earning a cry out for his efforts. He picked up the pace for a while before slowing down again until he stopped still inside you and rocked his hips instead.

Damn he was good.

You moaned through tightly pressed lips and you heard him release a jagged breath so you moved your hips with him, trying to get motion to rock back onto him but there was no room to move until he pulled back slowly so you took at upon yourself to ride him like that as best you could. He groaned softly but had grown impatient and took over once more, this time with relentless force.

He fucked you so hard you had to hold onto the edge of the desk to keep yourself and the desk from moving too much. Your moans reverberated off of the wood and echoed around the room slightly. He was absolutely relentless up until he grabbed your hair which meant he was nearing his climax and so were you so you brought your head up with his grip and squeezed your thighs together.

He grunted through his teeth as he came as your voice starting cracking through your own moans. After a few moments he removed himself from you and tucked himself away as if nothing ever happened.

“Stay there.” He said and went to grab a clean cloth for you to clean yourself up with as he diverted his attention elsewhere for a moment. Once you were done you mumbled your thanks and turned to him.

‘Would it be awkward now?’ You worried as you looked at him, your worry obviously showing so he cupped your cheek and kissed you gently as reassurance.

“Does this mean you’re giving me your job?” You grinned as he pulled away.

“Don’t push it.” He glared for a moment then chuckled softly.

#reader insert #harry potter #snape x reader #severus snape #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #smut

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imgonnapanic · 3 years

Text

Third gym squad with a theater kid s/o:

Kuroo Tetsurou

Tbh, he knew what he was signing up for when he started dating you.

He’s just not used to it, because he doesn’t have many extroverted friends who aren’t annoying pieces of-

I can envision you both going on the hub to watch pirated musicals. Hamilton, Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, you name it.

He loooves your singing voice, even if it’s your nervous purposely bad one.

You love the musicals that include allll the good stuff (trauma, death, tragedy, etc.)

Or the iconic ones. You can’t forget about those.

So you’re less-than-thrilled when your school chooses “Honk! The Musical” for this years play.

It’s a spin off of the ugly duckling that no one has heard of.

And when you come up to Kuroo sulking about this boring play you’re emotionally obliged to do, he can’t help but laugh a little.

But his laughter stops when he sees your eyes down at your shoes.

And then he shuts the fuck up because you’re actually upset.

After assuring that you will still be Broadway material even if you’re dressed up as a goose, you feel a little better.

In the two weeks leading up to auditions, Kuroo is starting to get caught humming “A Poultry Tale” at practice.

I mean, his Spotify feed went from Kendrick Lamar to Legally Blonde within one month of dating you, so cut the guy a break.

The day of auditions, you’re a bundle of nerves as you go over the dumb song again and again.

And Kuroo is like “calm down babe you’re gonna do great.”

That sure did a ton.

“Shut up Heather”

...

“Sorry Heather”

He’s also a bundle of nerves at practice, though. He just couldn’t let you see it.

By now, all of the Nekoma team knows you’re auditioning today, and the minute he walks in he just holds up a hand.

“They’re auditioning as we speak”

He’s not surprised when you get the lead.

He looks like the cat who ate the canary he’s a little amused when he figures out the lead is named “Ugly” but by now he has learned to keep it on the inside.

Your schedule is now jam packed, but that’s okay, because Nationals are also coming up for Kuroo and needs to put in some extra hours at the gym anyways.

You better believe two months later Kuroo is making his entire team buy a ticket.

Kuroo didn’t even get to see you on opening night because of dress rehearsals, but that’s okay.

He cleared his entire schedule that day and now has time to wallow in his own excitement and buy you some flowers.

He’s there with the squad team at 6PM sharp, dressed up, and trying to keep his dignity.

When you first walk on stage, the team snickers a little bit at your costume, but Kuroo was completely enraptured by your singing voice, your blocking, your makeup, everything.

This was much better than the demo CD that they had given you.

Afterwards, he gives you your flowers and is glued to your side for the rest of the night, babbling about how proud he was of you, and how talented you are, Nekoma team be damned.

Tsukishima Kei

Tsukki-poo already had a soft spot for the arts before he met you.

Not that he would tell anyone, ever.

When you started dating him though, it gave him an excuse to share his favorite soundtracks.

“you can hit that note, you know.”

*cue the arguing about how you aren’t Barbara Streisand*

When you two are walking through the hallway with him and you see the poster reading “Auditions for Karasuno High School’s ‘The Little Mermaid’ are open!” You start freaking out.

You love that movie! And Kei tolerates it!

Kei honestly thought you would be Ariel/Prince Eric when he first heard you singing “Part of Your World”

Like, you have the voice of a fucking lark. The directors have to be batshit crazy not to cast you.

In his humble opinion.

So he’s a bit taken aback when you get the role of Flounder, but he’s very proud anyways. Especially after you explain that there’s musical numbers that you’re in that aren’t in the movie.

He just hates your director for no reason now.

Practicing your lines with him in your free time becomes almost inevitable because you both have nothing else better to do.

And he can see how into it you are.

And let me just say that you are killing it.

Seriously. You have no problem getting into character, and Kei doesn’t say this much but-

It’s fucking adorable, okay? He has little goth moths in his stomach.

And he can’t wait to see the show, because then he can show you off.

That doesn’t mean he likes the other first years prying at your progress.

Hinata’s incessant questioning about theater anatomy and the memorization of your lines gets really annoying.

Even for someone with a normal temper like you-

“Yes it’s called the right wing. NOT wing spiker. Yes they’re off book. Now will you shut your trap already?”

Dress Rehearsals come, and you’re spinning around his room, face morphing from complete concentration to happy, go-lucky Flounder.

You, Kei, and Yamaguchi (your little third wheel-) all know the soundtrack pretty much up and down, left and right, backwards and inside out.

He still shivers remembering the time you just walked into his house not registering that Flounder’s makeup looks kind of scary up close-

All of his pride was sacrificed that day. All of it.

On the morning of opening night, Kei was walking you to the school, pretending to be bitchy about it being on a Saturday.

“C’mon, what am I supposed to do all day?”

As luck would have it, he’s stuck sitting next to one Hinata Shoyo. Lovely.

So he sat down next to him, and ignored him the whole show. I mean, it worked, he shut up after thirty seconds.

After the show, Kei has to wait a bit for you to take your makeup off, but when you come running out, he can’t hold back a tiny grin.

“That was good. I’m proud of you.”

And then he took you to dinner because singing makes a bad bleep hungry 😌

Bokuto Kotarou

Listen, you’re loud, Bokuto’s loud-

So basically you two are on a mission to not annoy Akaashi for as long as you can before inevitably getting yelled at for your affection and love and shit.

Now, both of you would love for this to be possible.

But the Frozen soundtrack makes it too difficult.

Especially when you can edit the lyrics just to piss off Konoha.

“Turn away and slAm the door *on Konoha”

“The wind is howling like the storm inside *of Konoha”

The possibilities are endless, really.

The game changer is when you two are belting out the song where Elsa and Anna are arguing.

And you accidentally hit the “I-i-I CANNNNT”

Akaashi is like for the love of GOD just audition for the play.

He quickly realizes that his suggestion was not a good idea.

Since guess what the musical is.

You’re auditioning as a joke, okay? You love Frozen, but this is a Fukurōdani Academy level play.

You didn’t expect to land the role of Olaf.

Your director sat you down and bluntly told you that he thought that you had the charisma and energy to be Olaf, but he knew that you were auditioning for a joke.

He needed you to be committed.

And hell yeah, you were gonna be committed.

At first, Bokuto was super proud of you! His s/o as a lead role? So impressive!

You even taught Bokuto your choreography for “In Summer”

He only retained half of it, but eh.

He’s a volleyball player. He tried.

As rehearsal times became longer and longer, Bokuto was a little upset at himself because he didn’t realize how committed you were until it hit him in the face.

Akaashi is there to get him out of his funk when you aren’t, though.

“They feel the same way when you need to be in the gym longer. It’s just a part of having a passion. Just utilize your time with them wisely.”

This bitch knows full well Bokuto doesn’t do ‘wise’ though, so he also sets to him a little more.

Dress rehearsals start, and Bokuto is always waiting for you to come out of the auditorium to ride the bus home.

You’re just bubbling over with stories about the magic of being on stage.

The lights, the microphones, the costumes, just talking about it makes you nostalgic already.

On opening night, Bokuto and Akaashi are there in the front row, going through the program.

“There’s y/n!!!!”

And you can’t see him because of the blinding spotlight, but you can hear Bokuto cheering for you after you finish “In Summer”

Afterwards he gives you a big hug, and you guys go home and watch Frozen.

Akaashi Keiji

When you start dating Akaashi in your second year at Fukurōdani, you’ve been on stage for the last ten years of your life.

Singing, acting, dancing, you love it all.

You’re even considering making it your career.

Akaashi doesn’t know much about theater at all, but he makes sure to do his research since it’s such a big part of your life.

The company you take acting classes with is having their winter show soon, and you couldn’t be happier when you figure out it’s ‘Into the Woods.’

Akaashi makes the mistake of asking the plot of the story.

“So basically there are these two infertile bakers with dead parents and there’s this witch that’s old and wrinkly and she comes to their house because fifty years ago the bakers dad stole her veggies and took the magic beans that made her look old and wrinkly-“

(A/n: this isn’t even half the plot)

He decides he’ll figure it out when he sees the play.

Akaashi knows that it’s a difficult one, though.

Sondheim doesn’t fuck around.

So you shouldn’t be beating yourself up about cracking on some of the high notes and screaming into your pillow.

He feels like an idiot every time you ask him to give you constructive criticism.

He doesn’t know what to say. “That was good” is obviously not what you want to hear.

When the date of your audition rolls around, he has early morning practice.

So he sends you a text saying how far you’ve come already and he’ll be proud even if you end up being a tree and break a leg (he’s very proud of that part. Theater lingo with Akaashi 101)

He’s very pleased to hear through your extremely fast and animated chattering that you killed it.

You were going to be Jack from “Jack and the Beanstalk.”

He’s still not sure how that correlates with infertile bakers, but he’ll go with it.

You also have a notoriously hard solo, “Giants in the sky.”

Akaashi is very impressed.

All you two do is practice that song, until Akaashi is half sure he could sing the song if he really gave an effort.

(He tries seriously one time. He can’t sing. To save his life. Sorry Keiji and RIP y/n’s ears.)

“Maybe you’re just not a soprano?”

“I’ll leave the limelight to you.”

Rehearsals always leave you drained. There are so many dance numbers in the play that you have to go over.

And songs, oh god, the songs are pieces of work.

But you wouldn’t trade it for the world, so Keiji stays close, and is endlessly supportive.

You sent him a picture of your Jack costume, and Keiji is like that is kind of adorable ngl-

He walks into the auditorium you’re performing in, and even he’s nervous to be in there. It’s huge.

But when you walk on the stage, and start belting, all the breath leaves his lungs.

Oh. Ohhhhhhh. He understands the plot now.

#kuroo #haikyuu headcannons #tsukishima #akaashi #bokuto #kuroo x reader #tsukishima x reader #akaashi x reader #bokuto x reader #kuroo headcanons #tsukishima headcanons #akaashi headcanons #bokuto headcannons #haikyuu

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