#and i STILL have REGULAR THOUGHTS like 'oh no you're not trans of couse you're not'
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damn that trans repression really goes deep huh
#im about to rant btw#its just#i knew something was Different when i was 13#and then where i lived and who i was around made me repress that completely for the next six years#fully forgot and compartmentalized everything and had to actually remember that i felt that way when i turned 19#woke up and was like 'oh shit yeah that happened. how do i feel about that'#and was like oh god everything has been so wrong for such a very long time#and its been almost four years now of me knowing im trans#which is insane to think bc it feels like ive been going through this for decades like 50 years or smth#and i STILL have REGULAR THOUGHTS like 'oh no you're not trans of couse you're not'#and i KNOW i am#but dear god i wish it would stop#idk how much of that overlaps w dysphoria prob a lot combined w undoing all the compartmentalizing#but jfc#anyway
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