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#and how hard it is when everyone's mentalities here are stuck in the 60s
I think a lot about all the “hahaha how did stede not realize he’s gay” posts, because as a 32YO who didn’t realize that 1) I’m actually solely into girls and 2) I’m not entirely cis, until roughly the ages of 1) 29 and 2) 31, I have a lot of thoughts on this.
Because Stede grew up in an environment with probably no other queer people, or if there were, they would be used as an example of what not to be in Respected Society. There would be no queer characters in his books, nothing to compare his feelings to, especially not on an island like Barbados, where he’d probably have to ship his books in from further away and they’d go through a lot of hands of people who know him, personally, before they reach him.
On top of that, there’s of course his peers and his parents, bullying all other-ness right out of him and making him try so, so hard to conform to what’s expected of him.
As someone who grew up in a small, very religious town in a rural area with a very limited library, limited access to internet, and no openly queer peers, I kind of know the feeling. (In fact, if someone as much as hinted at possibly not being straight the entire school would know and not shut up about it for weeks - and not in a positive way. I am unfortunately speaking from personal experience here.)
I’m not at all surprised he might confuse romantic feelings for friendship, might not fully realize what’s going on until Ed kisses him, might not allow himself to feel what he’s feeling (and revel in it).
Even if Stede did figure out what his feelings are, even if he did understand that at least half of his crew is queer as fuck, with all the bullying and the conditioning he’s gone through for all that time and those intense feelings of unworthiness and low self esteem, he could very well be pushing it all away, because not only is someone as amazing as Ed liking him back near impossible to fathom, actually acting on any of these feelings is a whole different matter too.
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soldier-poet-king · 7 months
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career anxiety which turned into existential dread which turned into me guiltily defending my use of stories as narrative framing devices for my own life & human existence as storytelling more broadly (smthn smthn sometimes you gotta be a little mentally unwell to be mentally well)
what is possibly the longest cringe worst thing ive ever put on this webbed site, but i gotta get it out in writing to clear my head and i type more quickly than i write and if there's a post length limit by god i'm gonna find out
with my deepest apologies if this readmore doesnt work
so we had a Big Fancy Meeting at work today, with a group of information professionals from an Outside Institution (some of whom i had met previously), and which i got to sit in on/play tech support for, which was all fine and well for the actual presentation portion of the event, but afterwards when it was informal chatting and the like it was just???
The following things are true:
i actually got to speak with people close-ish to my age and in my profession
it was a very nice and enjoyable experience and we got to talk both seriously about professional things and also jokingly shoot the shit about shared woes with this one outdated archival software that everyone under the age of 60 hates with a passion
i was also incredibly jealous of this group of archivists & librarians because they're all /friendly/ with each other and i am lonely being the youngest person at work
i am also jealous because theyre working on very exciting projects at A Big Institution with Actual Resources and Technology and PROCEDURES my beloved, and not the slapdash kinda thing going on at my work
this in turn made me anxious because there were certain elements of the conversation i couldn't follow and i worry about my professional development at my current job, and that my technical skills are either atrophying, or not growing in a way that would enable me to get hired at A Big Institution like this one (which is the ultimate goal)
this in turn made me more stressed about my current job, which i just got promoted to fulltime permanent for the following
beyond the skill atrophy fear there is also the fact that my boss is grooming me to be her successor when she retires in 5 yrs and i very Much Do Not Want to be here in 5 years
this adds several layers of guilt
i was just promoted so im getting really sweet messages of congrats from random ppl in other departments who i didnt even think knew/care i existed - the people at this workplace are extremely nice, even if im like. meh. about some of the work/procedures/etc
a large part of my promotion being approved hinged on the fact that im undertaking this big technical project that my boss doesnt have the technical know-how to do. so i cant just bail and leave them high and dry without feeling guilt. but also. it's not so fancy a project that someone else couldnt do it. anyone in my field worth their salt and not super old should be able to handle it. sure i work hard and im friendly, but surely that's not that rare in an employee
i dont even KNOW if there's better opportunities out there. but i see stuff on the listserv all the time, and assuming i could land those jobs, they pay better and are at larger orgs and more in line with what i want
there is an element to working non-profit adjacent that is guilt inducing as well as [redacted thing about my work that would make me feel even guiltier for leaving, i cannot say what, but it is Significant]
this of course, tapped into my larger, ongoing sense of ennui and being 'stuck' and fears about unchosen monotony and purposelessness and all that mid 20s recent grad existential bullshit. i cant really do anything to solve it bc yknow, unprecedented housing crisis, rent is insane, im stuck living in a dysfunctional household which traumatized me as a child, etc etc etc. but broadly:
i am afraid of being stuck in a mediocre job forever. my boss has worked for two (2) archives her whole life and has always done non-profit adjacent work and is like. a one man small archive thing. i VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT THAT
i feel guilty for wanting
idk how to want things or be a person (separate issue), but i know very much what i want career wise. i know what makes me happy and satisfied. and i know what im good at. im doing fine at my current job but i know i could be so much MORE and i want that desperately
if my personal life is always doomed to be dismal, as is my family life, can i at least have one thing
i gave up academia for my mental health and some degree of financial stability, can i at least satisfy SOME of my ambitions here?? just a few??
yes this is pride. yes this is ambition. just bc i spent so long extremely depressed and with 0 self esteem does not make me immune to ambition, even if non traditional.
i feel immense guilt over this but i dont stop wanting it
ofc, my brain is a web, all existence is inextricably interconnected, and im listening to the tge audiobook on my commute and rotating csevet in my brain, thara is more personal, more beloved maybe, but csevet is my fave lil guy babygirl and i have a thing for fantasy secretaries, so i am now thinking even MORE of ambition, and how i have it, and how i love that im good at this one complex but boring thing, i am thinking of kip mdang, of kamet, of muire lo, of how some of my deepest loves, in no particular order, include: organization and scheduling, devotion, competency, well-ordered policies and procedures, righteous anger, boring skills being used to change the world for good, small kindnesses, Duty, loyalty to a person or ideal which goes beyond the functional and the expected and which extends into unprecedented levels of intimacy - whether it be friendship, qprs, romance, etc, and also, metadata and research
so. as i sit there sorting this all out in my brain i am like. wow you are a pathetic human being. you are not even a person. like. why is everything being framed in terms of narrative and story. why does everything relate to a Broader Theme or Arc or Meaning.
i am forcibly reminded of being undiagnosed, unmedicated, aged 18/19 and trying to explain smthn really personal about myself to someone i knew from youth group and him being like. wow. you describe everything and relate to everything from stories.
to this day i live in embarassment over this moment. but also. lowkey. fuck him. and tradcath circles be WILD, the social dynamics BAD, and it was not the place for me to be, even tho i latched on to it lacking any other social contact at the time. if a complete mental breakdown, latent OCD, and a really painful loss of friends is what it took to get me out. like. i cant say i dont regret the loss, but also, i like who im becoming much better now
ANYWAY. i got thinking about stories and why i am and am not extremely cringe
i am a big believer in storytelling is the oldest human activity. it's the most fundamental human activity. this isn't some nihilistic devaluing of the human person, the soul, the human experience, it is instead and elevation of the story. because like. stories are what we do to live. it's why we live. it's how we communicate. storytelling is how we turn to another person and we attempt to communicate the innermost secrets of our heart. language is a flawed tool always ultimately falling short. but we use stories to share ourselves with each other, to be recognized and known, and throughout the ages, to share our grief and love, to know to oneself, no, i'm not the only one, others have experienced this before too. stories are balms and inspirations and are ultimately reflections of their creators, they reflect some Truth about the human experience back to us
im not even talking like. published stories. tv shows. mcu ification of media. i mean /stories/. in whatever form. from whatever time. this isn't a fandom thing - though there is overlap, im not talking about consumption for the sake of consumption, or consumption as a personality trait
i mean like. stories as the bedrock of humanity because it is the only way we can attempt to understand ourselves. stories are foundational because the human person is too complex, having too much of the image of the divine in it, to ever be really fully successfully understood. and so of course. of course we turn to stories in times of trouble, and triumph, and all the times in between. how could we not turn to stories to attempt the divine understanding that is always ultimately beyond us?
(i have a whole other locked and loaded series of thoughts on storytelling in faith traditions, and specifically how the bible is a literary work as well as a spiritual one, and the reasons for this reflected in the human soul, but i digress)
so really. maybe i am pathetic and cringe and a fake not real person (i am all of those things), but i hope it's not because i think in stories, in themes, in arcs. everything is tangled in my brain, inextricable, i can do nothing else, i know nothing else, i would not want anything else, unless it were the full divine understanding beyond mortal means
and besides. i am trying. to be better. to be more. to have comforts and hobbies beyond this. the crafting. the cooking. the career ambitions that arose when i found something that i was good at and enjoyed and was /me/. my insatiable need to learn to dance.
i dont know where im going with this. i barely know where i started. it's stories all the way down, because it's people all the way down, and we are all mirrors of each other and we are all connections with each other in a vast caring world. or. so i like to think
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reidsaurora · 1 year
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Part Five: "What Am I Supposed To Do?" ~ S. Reid
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icon in collage originally by @themoontaxi
Summary: When Imogen catches Spencer between a rock and a hard place, he wonders exactly what it is he's supposed to do.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Imogen Sterren (bipolar!OC)
Word Count: 1,366
Content Warning: mentions of a mental facility, mentions of scissors (just in case), i think that's it?
Genre: a lil Angsty, a lil Fluffy
Extra Notes: sorry this one's on the shorter side! i hope y'all enjoy it regardless though!
Based On the Song: Soon You'll Get Better by Taylor Swift
Originally Written/Re-Written: 06/21/2022 and 11/30/2022
Criminal Minds masterlist can be found here!
"Soon You'll Get Better" series masterlist can be found here!
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"𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬? 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞." - 𝐀𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐌. 𝐏𝐚𝐡𝐫𝐨
Snow was falling, Christmas carols were playing on every radio station in the city, and hot cocoa was pasted deliciously to his lips. Yes, Christmas was the only thing on Spencer Reid's mind.
There were only two more weeks until Christmas, and Spencer found his mind filled with anticipation for the holiday. He'd finally finished the last of his Christmas shopping that afternoon, something that was apparent to everyone he passed on his route home. Between the smile on his face and the six different shopping bags dangling from his arms, it was apparent that he'd just gone all out for whomever he was purchasing gifts for.
As soon as Spencer strolled into his apartment (which was now bejeweled with a sea of green and red decor), he placed his bags on the couch and headed straight for his supply closet. As he looked through his extensive collection of wrapping paper, his brain wandered back to one of many Christmas-themed conversations he'd had with Imogen the week prior.
"Just out of curiosity, what's your favorite color?" Spencer asked, his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder.
"Yellow," Imogen answered, her brows furrowing. "Why do you ask?"
Spencer's lips pressed together tightly as he held in a smile. "No reason," he replied. He grabbed three different types of yellow wrapping paper and tossed them into his shopping cart. "I was just curious."
Spencer smiled, picking out his personal favorite of the three patterns: white with tiny, yellowish gold stars. He glanced over at his cardigan, still hanging on the coat rack and still sporting the gold stars his mom had stuck to the sleeves.
About three presents into his wrapping endeavors, Spencer's phone began to ring. He glanced at the time on the wall. 7:59 p.m.
"Hi, sunflower," he smiled, nuzzling the phone between his ear and his shoulder.
Spencer had been using the nickname for almost a month, ever since Imogen had let slip that her sunflowers were her favorites. Not her favorite flower, her favorite thing ever.
Despite his near constant use of the nickname, Imogen still found herself blushing every time he used it. "Hi," she grinned back.
"You're a minute early," he observed.
"Just means I get to spend a whole extra 60 seconds with you," she said. Spencer could almost hear the smile that was surely sitting on her face.
He blushed at her words. Distracting himself, he asked, "How are you feeling today?"
"I'm OK," she answered. Her head tilted in confusion as she heard the sound of paper ripping. "Are you wrapping presents?"
His nose crinkled as he replied, "Maybe…" in a sing-song tone.
"I told you I didn't want anything," she said with an eye roll.
"Who said it was for you?" he joked. "Seriously though, you're going to love what I got you."
"I don't know why you're even bothering. It's not like they'd let me have anything in this place anyway."
Spencer frowned at the mixture of sadness and anger in her voice. "Are you feeling OK, Imogen?" he asked.
"Yeah, just a little fed up with this place," she chuckled. "But… I do have some exciting news."
Spencer's eyes lit up like a child opening presents on Christmas. "What's that?" he asked, already thinking of all the possibilities of her answer.
"Doc said since I'm still in maintenance, I can go home for Christmas if I want."
The joy in Spencer's stomach warped into sorrow, teardrops sitting on the ends of his eyelashes as he processed the idea of not seeing her at Christmas. He swallowed the lump that had settled his throat, managing to say, "That's great."
"I can tell you're lying, you know," she commented. "Lucky for you, I don't want to go home."
His mood switched again as he furrowed his brows in confusion. "You don't want to visit your family?"
She shook her head as if Spencer could see it. "Nope. Which is why…" her voice trailed off in suspense, "today, when I was allowed computer time, I logged into my old bank account and bought a plane ticket to come see you."
The scissors in Spencer's hands clattered so hard against the coffee table, he was sure everyone on his floor could hear it. "Y-you what?"
Imogen's hand flew to her mouth, her teeth clenching down on her index fingernail. "Is that a bad thing?"
"No, it's just…" His voice ebbed as he searched for the right words to say, not wanting to upset her. After a beat of silence, he said, "You knew I wanted to visit both you and Mom. Why would you wait until the last minute to tell me you had different plans?"
She hung her head in disappointment. "I'm sorry, Spence. I don't really know what came over me," she admitted. "But it's a non-refundable ticket."
Spencer attempted to find a silver lining in there somewhere, but came up dry. He felt a bit like a character in a vintage cartoon as his mind debated, "What to do, what to do?" He felt a bit heavy as he pondered the two options he'd been given.
Seeing his mom at Christmas was the only given thing they could both look forward to throughout the whole year. Every year, he flew down on December 23rd and stayed until New Years. In the whole seven years Diana had lived at Bennington, he'd only broken tradition once, because of a case.
On the other hand, he loved Imogen. He wanted to see her thrive, and he knew that would be best achieved outside the sanitarium. He knew by the tone in her voice that flying in to see him was the only thing keeping her sane.
"What am I supposed to do, Imogen?" he asked bluntly, his slippers tapping against the hardwood as he paced through the living room. "I can't just choose between you and Mom."
With her head still hung, she answered, "I don't know. I wasn't thinking. It was selfish. I'm sorry."
Her sentences broke apart like that when she felt remorse, and Spencer knew that. He wanted to not be mad at her, he knew her intentions were genuinely good. But he couldn't bear to see the look on his mother's face when she found out that he'd missed Christmas because of some girl he barely knew.
Spencer sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It wasn't selfish. I know you just wanted to see me. And you deserve that. Not just on Christmas, but all year round."
The two stayed silent as contrite thoughts ran rampant in their brains. For the first time in two months, neither of them had anything to say to the other.
Finally, Spencer spoke up, a frown spread across his lips. "Please just let me think about this."
"Of course," she replied quietly. She paused for a moment. "Hey, Spence?"
"Yeah?" he asked, his fingertips stretched across the stress lines on his forehead.
"I know I say I love you every time we talk, but I just wanted to say it again. I do. Really love you, I mean. I love you times the amount of stars there are in the night sky. I would never ever do something like this to hurt you."
Spencer felt like he was being backed into a corner… because now, he didn't even have to think about his choice. He just knew. "I love you times the amount of words I can read in a minute, sunflower."
"That must be a lot, considering you compared it to the stars."
He chuckled. "More than you will ever know."
The two soon hung up, Spencer placing his phone on the coffee table once he'd done so. He took a look around his apartment, thinking about what Imogen might say if she visited. Thinking about if she'd like the dark green color plastered to the walls. If she'd feel comfortable and cozy there, or if she'd just feel trapped by all the books. If she'd even want to live there, in the case that she could leave the Bennington Sanitarium.
He sighed, placing his head in his hands. What am I supposed to do?
"𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐲." - 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐚 𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐤
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cordria · 3 years
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Twin Cores - DP
Saw this headcanon on Tumblr… awhile ago? It stuck with me, and I ended up writing this, and now I can’t find it to give the person proper credit. Lemme know if anyone recognizes this idea and knows who came up with it. (heart) 
Was gonna do this idea for the Big Bang thing, but I forgot all about signing up. ;) Wonders. So I’ll just post it and come up with new ideas.
~2,700 words. 
--
Danny floated high above the clouds, up where the air was thin and cold and the stars sparkled brightly overhead. It was terribly late, and Danny knew he’d be paying for this at school tomorrow, but this was always the best part of his week. He couldn’t come up here all the time, but when he cound, he always found himself relaxing. Hands behind his head, he floated on his back, studying the stars.
He let out a breath through his lips and brought a hand forwards to massage his chest, closing his eyes. Yesterday had not been good day. An accident with some of his parents’ technology had completely ruined his day. For reasons Danny didn’t understand, his chest had felt overly full since. Almost like he needed to cough up something - which couldn’t be, because his ghost form didn’t have any real lungs to cough with. 
With a groan, Danny stretched and rolled his body through a bunch of sharp loop-the-loops and twists, hoping maybe he could work out the kink. Nothing. Hopefully it wouldn’t prevent him from getting a good night’s rest. He was exhausted.
He floated for a few minutes longer, watching the sky and hoping for a meteor or two, slowly turning the overfull feeling over in his mind. He pushed and prodded at the odd sensation, trying to come up with what in the world it could be. 
It had to relate to his parents’ invention. Unfortunately, the day was a fuzzy blur in Danny’s memory and if something in particular had happened to him, he wouldn’t be able to remember it on his own. All he could do on his own was a vague understanding of what had happened.
Getting zapped with one of the newer devices yesterday had resulted in Danny getting split - again. His ghost half had fallen captive to the hero-like obsession of his core, and had gone on a hero-spree. A memory of rescuing a cat from a tree in a very overblown, comic-like way surfaced and Danny buried his face in his hands, embarrassed for himself. “Ugh, I hope nobody videoed that. Or anything else,” he muttered.
His human half had wandered aimlessly through the day, not knowing what to do with no driving force behind everything he did. Vague memories of eating pizza and not noticing the ghost haunting the place next door until Sam pointed it out filtered through the shadows. 
From what he remembered, it hadn’t been a horrible sort of day for either half of him. His ghost half had been allowed to play with his obsession all day and his human half had gotten to just be… human. But he’d been split for much longer than ever before; Tucker and Sam were unable to work through how the strange invention worked. 
Danny didn’t remember being much help with the endeavour. In fact, he sort of remembered his human half stealing the device, passing it to his ghost half, and the thing getting placed on top of the school for the afternoon. Jazz finally got it using some of the newer modifications to the Fenton’s vehicle that allowed it to fly. 
By the time the three of them figured out how to reverse the effects, it was late in the evening on the second day - more than 36 hours since being split. Phantom had started to turn more and more ghost, losing more of his humanity each hour, delving deeper and deeper into this hero obsession. His eyes had turned more ghostly, teeth sharpening, fingers turning into claws. Even a cape had started to mist into view.
Danny slowly ran his tongue over his teeth - they were still a bit too sharp - and pulled his hands far enough away from his face to glance at his fingers. They weren’t claws, not like many ghosts had, but… his fingers no longer really looked human. The changes that had happened to his ghost form the last two days appeared to be permanent, even now that they were rejoined back together.
Danny… didn’t want to think about that. Not yet.
And his human half had started to go through changes as well. Danny vaguely remembered - towards the end of the escapade, when he’d convinced himself that he didn’t want to be rejoined with Phantom - trying to avoid everyone and ending up in a tree, floating in a very inhuman way. His totally human form regaining some of its ghost powers.
Danny mentally poked at the odd, full sensation in his chest again. Perhaps it was that his ghost powers had grown while he was separated. Phantom hadn’t been exactly a half-a-ghost when they’d been slammed back together. And Danny had been just a bit of ghost too. Perhaps now he was somehow 60% ghost and 50% human… and his body was trying to adjust to being too much ghost. 
His mind poked at the sensation in his chest just a bit too hard. Danny slammed his eyes shut tight as he felt the sensation of transformation travel through him - lightning sharp and aching into his phantom bones. Panic set in a second later. He couldn’t transform up here - there wasn’t enough oxygen for his human form to breathe. He’d pass out and fall to his death. 
He gasped and threw his arms out, instinctively trying to grab something even though he was on the edge of the atmosphere, as the transformation arced through his arms and legs. He kept his eyes closed as he fumbled for his ghost side. He needed to transform back fast. His human side would already be aching to breathe, desperate for oxygen after the last hour of being in ghost form.
But his ghost side… was… 
Danny opened his eyes as he realized he wasn’t falling. As he realized his ghost form wasn’t something to grab for, because he was still a ghost.
“But…” he whispered, startled and confused. He’d felt himself transform. There was no mistaking the sensation that had swept through him. He looked around, almost as if the answer would be written in the air next to him.
Then the stars caught his gaze. He froze, mouth falling open, as he stared up at the sky. There were more stars than before, the whole sky alight with points of light. And he knew them - with each star he focused his eyes on, he knew what that star was. How far away it was, what it’s name was, what kind of star it was… 
Delight sparkled inside him as he let his gaze drift across the heavens. Stars he didn’t even know existed seemed to soak into his skin, whispering all their secrets in his ears. “How…?” he breathed, twisting around and around and looking everywhere he could. “Why?”
His gaze snagged on the moon, crescent-shaped and gleaming. He almost felt like he was drowning in it’s glow, feeling everything about it. The ice hiding in its craters. The human-built machinery peppering its surface. The soft warmth still coiling in its dying core. He could just… go there. He could be there in about three seconds. He could just…
He threw up a hand, blocking the moon’s glow, blinking hard and pushing the thoughts out of his mind. “Holy shit,” he whispered, breathing hard, focusing on Earth, on human thoughts, on normalcy. “What is this?”
Then he saw his hand, thin fingers topped with sharp claws, glove missing. His forehead furrowed as he realized both his gloves were gone, as was the logo on his chest, and the white belt around his waist. A black shirt and black pants. His boots looked like his normal shoes, just moon-lit white. Actually, minus the claws and some color changes, he looked… like he had yesterday. “Uh… What is going on with me?” 
He could feel the pull of the stars overhead. He knew he could just lean back, put his arms behind his head, and float there, watching the sky forever. Just revel in space for all time. Instead, he kept his gaze down towards the tops of the clouds. 
At least the first step of what he should do now was clear. Whenever he was dealing with anything out of the ordinary, Sam and Tucker knew what to say. They’d help. He’d go home, grab his phone, and call them. 
Danny flew towards Amity Park-
-and suddenly drew to a stop. He twisted around, eyes wide, realizing that he’d somehow overshot his home by a dozen miles or more. “What the fuck?” he said. He’d only been flying for a moment - how was he all the way over here? “I…”
He licked his lips and tried again. He set his gaze on Amity Park and flew-
-right past Amity Park again. It was an eyeblink of time between one side of the city and the other. Danny hung in the air, confused and slightly annoyed. “What is going on?” he said. A new power, obviously - but one that had unfortunate timing. His fingers curled, the claws digging uncomfortably into his palms. “This is what I get for leaving my phone behind,” he groused. The phone wouldn’t have done well in the thin, cold atmosphere. Even if he’d have brought it with, there was no guarantee it would have still been working. 
“Are all my powers wonky?” Danny asked, raising his hand and pushing energy into his hand. Instead of a steady, gas-like glow, the energy sparkled and hissed, like he was holding onto an exploding firework. “Odd.”
His powers were working differently, so it was time to try using them differently. Time to change tactics. Instead of focusing on a direction, Danny focused his mind on a destination. He closed his eyes, picturing where exactly he wanted to end up. Opening his eyes and taking a deep breath, he tried to fly as slowly as possible.
The world seemed to blur and twist, glowing uncomfortably bright for the fraction of a second Danny allowed himself to be in motion. When the world settled back into place, Danny found himself hovering about ten feet off the ground, within the city of Amiry Park, only about a half-mile from his house. “That worked a lot better,” he said, rather pleased with himself.
Instead of chancing another attempt at flying, Danny figured he’d turn himself human. A ten foot drop wouldn’t be too bad, and he could walk home. It would be the least-tricky way to get home. He took a moment to worry that this new power would prevent him from turning human as easily as normal, but then slammed that idea shut and closed his eyes. 
Danny pushed his ghost form away, pulling at that warm and heavy feeling in his mind. There was a sparkling sensation in his mind, then the sharp pain that came with turning himself human again. He dropped, landing lightly on his toes, breathing a heavy sigh of relief that at least this was still normal. He bounced a few times, testing out a few basic powers - invisibility seemed to work like normal, as did phasing through things. He didn’t try floating, for fear of accidentally ending up two towns over and two hundred feet above the ground in human form.
He walked home, rubbing his chest at that strange, too-full sensation, and snuck in the back door. Despite the fact that all the lights were out, he kept himself invisible to avoid his parents. It was so far past curfew that Danny didn’t even want to think about the trouble he’d be in if they realized he was still out. 
His bedroom door was still locked. Danny phased through it, flipped on the lights, and dumped himself into his bed. “Ugh,” he groaned, feeling the drain of the last two days on his body. He glanced over at the clock. Just before two in the morning. Part of him wanted to just curl up in his bed and fall asleep, try to get a few hours of sleep before tackling school tomorrow. But too much of him had a tight ball of anxious curiosity.
He groaned as he rolled out of bed and stepped in front of his mirror. He looked awful. Dark rings under his eyes and a horrible, pale tone to his skin. He looked half dead. “On the positive side, nobody will question it if I want to stay home sick tomorrow,” he muttered. He shuddered and shifted his weight, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then triggered the transformation.
His ghost form spread like lightning across his skin, slammed through his head, and settled into his chest like a cold ball of fire. He squeaked one eye open just a touch, not sure of what he was going to see. 
Phantom was peering back at him. Danny relaxed, letting his eyes open, and studied himself. From more than a few feet away, he looked absolutely normal. But up close, there were minor changes from the last few days. Teeth that were too pointy. Fingers that were a little more claw-like than normal. Hair that was more… smokey. Just a little. His mouth twisted, unsure of how he felt about the changes. “At least there’s no cape,” he murmured. “I’d look too much like Vlad with a cape.”
He squared his shoulders, set his teeth, and tried flying. He floated up and moved around his bedroom like normal. “So normal.” He caught sight of his claws and shivered. “Mostly.”
“Now…” He took a deep breath and jabbed hard at the over-full feeling in his chest. He was half-hoping nothing would happen. But light sparkled along his body, that tingling almost-painful sensation changing him in very subtle ways. His clothes changed from a jumpsuit to shirt and pants, his shoes looked like they would squeak on the floor as he walked. He was still glowing and transparent. “I’m… a different ghost?” He spread out his arms, feet firmly on the floor afraid to hover. “And I have like… superspeed.”
He took a very careful step forwards, peering closely at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked the same, with the normal green glow. His teeth were sharper, canines almost like little fangs. And… he leaned in, studying his freckles. They glowed, star-like, forming constellations across his skin. 
His mind veered off tangent, remembering the stars overhead, the glittering facts that swirled through his mind, the odd bubbling joy that came with even thinking about space. The freckles on his cheeks rearranged themselves into the constellation Draco, and sparks and speckles swirled into life across his clothes. A supernova that resolved itself into the stars overhead. Danny could trace the stars in his clothes, knew everything about each star. He was caught by the strongest urge to fly there. To zip through space to Alrakis, a binary star system eighty-eight light years away. It would only take him 221 years, 5 months, and 3 days…
Danny jerked himself out of his thoughts. He couldn’t fly for over two hundred years. He shuddered and blinked, settling back on his heels. The glowing freckles on his face settled down, his clothes faded back to black. The familiar sort of pitch-black of space. The sort of black Danny imagined the universe looked like before stars existed. “I have space powers now,” Danny realized, his voice slow and excited. “I have space powers! I’m a space ghost!”
Curious, Danny poked at that over-full feeling in his chest again. The world tingled and flashed, and he was back to his old self. Phantom, with the logo and the better posture and the weight of the world resting on his shoulders. “I’m two ghosts, somehow? Two ghosts… and a human...” Danny stared at himself in the mirror. “Or...” he rested his hand on his chest, feeling that strange overly-full feeling. “Or something…?”
Danny shook his head, not sure where to even begin processing that one. Then he turned himself human again, watching the world get dark as the ghost energy faded away. He scratched at his scalp, trundled over to his bed, and dropped into its softness. 
There wasn’t much he knew right then. The first was that space powers were the coolest power he could have gotten. And the second was that all this would be easier to process after a few hours of sleep and a large cup of caffeine. 
393 notes · View notes
neptuneofthesky · 3 years
Text
MCYT Incorrect Quotes
Featuring | Dream, Gerogenotfound, Sapnap, Badboyhalo, Skeppy, Karl Jacobs, Quackity, Philza Minecraft, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Ranboo, Michael, The Egg, Red vines
Next Part
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Skeppy: I'm sad
Bad: (puts an arm around him) hey, it's ok, I'm here for you
Dream: George, I'm sad
George: mood
----
Dream: I'm good at hiding my crush
George: hey guys I'm back
Dream: I-i have to gay- I mean GO-
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Dream: I love sunglasses
Dream: am I looking at that tree? am I looking at George's ass?
Dream: you'll never be able to tell
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Skeppy: *admiring bad* he is so cool, he could hit me with a car and I'd thank him
Techno: we'd thank him too
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Wilbur: you know when I first met you I thought u were a real bitch
Tommy: so, what changed?
Wilbur: I still think you are a real bitch, I've just grown to like that about you
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Dream walks into Sapnap's room
Sapnap: hello Dream I hope you are well
Sapnap: so you may be wondering why I am glued to the ceiling
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George: crushes are the worst
Dream: yeah, whenever I'm near someone I have a crush on, I start acting stupid
George: you are always acting stupid
Dream: yeah, don't think about that too hard
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George: I fell-
Dream: from heaven?
George: no, I actually fell-
Dream: in love with me the moment you saw me?
George: MY ARM IS BROKEN
Dream: ok but do you think I'm pretty? be honest
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Tommy: is the pink panther a lion?
Techno: ........ say that again but slower
Tommy:
Tommy: I don't get it
Wilbur: he's the PINK PANTHER
Tommy: okay?? But is he a lion?
Philza: Tommy, he's a panther
Tommy :
Tommy: is that a kind of lion?
Wilbur: no, its a PANTHER
Tommy: I just googled it, they're not pink tho
Techno: AND LIONS ARE?
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Tommy: yesterday I yote my water bottle down the stairs and almost hit Tubbo
Wilbur: I- did you just use yeet in the past sense?
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Tubbo: wanna hang out tomorrow?
Tommy: can't I have a doctors appointment
Tubbo: say you're sick or something and just cancel
Tommy: ......
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Philza: can I speak to you for a minute?
Tommy: oooooh someone is in trouble!
Philza:
Tommy: it's me I down know why I did that
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Bad: why is Karl laying on the ground screaming into a pillow?
Quackity: oh, he's been like that for a few minutes.
Bad: but, why?
Quackity: Sapnap giggled at his joke.
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Dream: love is in the air
George: *spraying a can of Febreeze and holding his shirt over his nose* not anymore.
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Philza: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Techno: *yelling* hey Tommy! how tall are you?
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Techno, talking on the phone: Phil, I have good news and bad news
Philza: just give me the good news
Techno: the smoke alarm is functioning perfectly
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Skeppy: who do you think is hotter, me or the sun?
Bad: the sun
Skeppy: okay, let me rephrase it. who do you think is hotter, me, your amazingly adorable best friend who loves you very much, or the sun?
Bad: the sun
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Quackity: I have an idea!
Karl: no bullying Bad today
Quackity: I no longer have an idea
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Wilbur: is the past tense yeet or yeeted??
Techno: yeet is the present tense, but yote could be the past tense too!
Philza: I just want to know who threw Tommy out of the window
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Bad: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!
Bad: *aggressively throws water bottles at everyone*
Geroge: uh...
Dream: he's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us
Bad: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU
Sapnap: *crying* it's working
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George: I hate you with every inch of my body
Sapnap: That's not a lot of inches
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Bad: I don't know if they'll notice, but I slipped a little note in each of my friend's bad to let them know that I love them
Skeppy, pulling out a twenty-five-page note: what the fuck-
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Dream: I don't know. I just feel like we are destined to be together. I mean, look at how fate keeps throwing us together!
George: it's three am and you're stuck in the middle of my window. how did you even get here?
Dream: I just told you. fate.
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Philza: Tommy, I know you three toilet papered my garden
Wilbur: *whispers* play dumb!
Tommy: who's Tommy?
Techno: *whispers* not that dumb!
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Bad: tell us a secret, Dream.
Dream: uh, okay! I have a crush on George!
Sapnap: no, dream, he said secret.
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Wilbur: Tommy is in the pool and I don't think he is waterproof
Philza: what
Techno: I think he means Tommy is drowning
Philza: oh okay
Philza:
Philza: WAIT WHAT
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Quackity: can I get a strawberry milkshake with two straws, please?
Karl, thinking: aw, that's cute... he wants to share his milkshake with me
[later]
Quackity, putting both straws in his mouth: hey, watch how fast I can drink this
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Quackity: I- I think I saw a monster
Tubbo, terrified: w-where?
Quackity, pointing at the door: THERE
Tubbo: SLENDERMAN!!
Ranboo, opening the lights: shut up, it's just me
[This one is because Tubbo and Quackity are one of the shortest ;) ]
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Philza: who broke the flower pots?
Techno: it was Tommy
Wilbur: it was Tommy
Tommy: it was Tommy
Philza:
Tommy: dammit
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Policeman: so, what's your name?
Tubbo: don't tell him, Tommy
Policeman writes down: okay, Tommy
Tommy: dammit Tubbo
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George: Interrupt my sleeping and I will interrupt your breathing :)
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Sapnap: hey, is anyone else d-
Tommy: dead?
Wilbur: depressed?
Dream: drained?
Techno: deprived of sleep?
Sapnap: ...done with your work? What is wrong with you people?
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Karl: hey, how much money do you have?
Quackity: uh.. 69 cents
Karl: ayy, you know what that means!!
Quackity: *choking up* I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets.
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Ranboo: *exists*
Tommy: you got a problem mate?
Tommy: I mean, you are so tall, you must got a problem
Ranboo: I'm just sitting here
Tommy: WAS UP
Ranboo: a-are you trying to fight me?
Tommy: WAS UP
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Tommy: why don't women have to take the DNA test to see if the child is their's
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Michael: papa, there's a monster under my bed!
Ranboo, tucking him in: Don't worry bud. There are no monsters in this house.
Michel: can you check, please?
Ranboo: alright.
Ranboo: *kneels down to check*
Techno: subscribe to Technoblade
Ranboo: *startled* WHAT THE-
(Credits to @/your.gehenna on Instagram)
----
George: I think Dream was right.
Sapnap: I'm surprised he hadn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.'
Geroge: he wouldn't do that.
Dream: you're right, George. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.
Dream: *turns around, the shirt he is wearing says 'Dream Told You So' on the back*
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Sapnap: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Dream: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Dream: I'm leaving you and I'M TAKING GEORGE WITH ME
Bad, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now
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Quackity: why are Bad and skeppy sitting with their backs to each other?
Karl: they had a fight.
Quackity: then why are they holding hands?
Karl: they get sad when they fight
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Ranboo:*serenading* with you, 60 minutes feel like an hour
Tubbo:*almost in tears*
Tommy: what the fuck
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The Egg: I just ended a four-year relationship.
Red Vines: oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
The Egg: hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Bad and Skeppy fighting from across the room*
----
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In recognition of 200 followers.....
I composed a list of 200 hero x villain dialogue prompts for you guys to ask me or reblog it and ask your own followers or if you take inspiration.
Thank you so much! It means a whole lot!
1. "I wish I had longer to love you."
2. "Sometimes being the greatest is being the worse."
3. "I will kill you if you die on me."
4. "Bury me... under a willow tree... with tulips and lilies to blossom in the spring and a small stream to keep me company."
5. "Villains aren't capable of love; yet, here I am crying over your grave."
6. "The kitten's name is Max."
7. "I'm going to get a beer."
8. "There is only one way to kill me, but you could never muster the strength to pull through."
9. "I'm dizzy with love for you."
10. "Hero, you are drunk not a toddler."
11. "I pledge to serve you willingly, butthead."
12. "Ride the waves with me." "You are a mermaid, no thanks."
13. "Stay awake for me; it's only a little farther."
14. "I can't carry you!"
15. "He isn't much, but we'll make do."
16. "I WANT TO SEE HER! LET ME SEE HER PLEASE. Please..."
17. "George Washington never told a fib, and I am greater than him, so trust me, Hero, when I say I am telling the truth."
18. "Eggs and butter make dough, knives and guns make death."
19. "You are insane."
20. "The bomb is going off in twenty seconds, Hero. Run now. I-I'm going to stop it."
21. "What is love?"
22. "I don't get the function of hugs."
23. "Mentally I'm good, but physically..."
24. "I only wished for happiness from that genie. I guess it was evil."
25. "Break him, shatter him, destroy him."
26. "Sing with me."
27. "Villain you are touch starved, not dying."
28. "What the heck did you do to your hair." "What? You don't like it?" "It looks like my cat's litterbox."
29. "Don't give me hope."
30. "I am not a disease or a parasite. I am a human. I am one of those millions you swore to protect."
31. "Kiss, marry, kill?" "Kill, kill, kill."
32. "You created me."
33. "Villain don't you dare pass out."
34. "I like the look of blood on you, compliments your eyes."
35. "I kinda dropped Hero through space."
36. "Power exhaustion sucks."
37. "Time to save the world. Yay!" *says in sarcasm*
38. "Let me feed you Hero."
39. "You do not have AC?!"
40. "Villain you have a fever."
41. "Am I drunk?"
42. "Movies. Nine o'clock. Don't be late."
43. "Lemme grab a beer and we are good to go."
44. "Don't. Look. At. Me."
45. "He just had his wisdom teeth out sooo." "How bad can it be? Villain has been shot with twenty tranq darts at one and didn't pass out... immediately anyway, took a good twenty minutes." "Well, you see-" "THE KITTEN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"
46. "She needs surgery."
47. "It's a panic attack..." "KISS HIM!"
48. "Blood, gore, madness... this was made for me."
49. "Quit drooling on me and sit up."
50. "There's only one bed."
51. "He looks so cute when he sleeps."
52. "Of all the places to live, you had to choose a heavily fortified medieval castle two thousand years in the past?"
53. "You are a peacock Hero."
54. "Let's see who will drown first. You or me. One, two, three... let's go!"
55. "I wasn't always like this."
56. "Madness is for geniuses, not for me."
57. "It's just a sedative that's going to make you nice and docile."
58. "He's out." "Good, let him rest, villainy is hardwork."
59. "I love her, but she doesn't love me."
60. "If I had a choice to save you or me, I'd pick me."
61. "Gag her."
62. "They aren't made for this, give them mercy."
63. "Talk now or she dies."
64. "Broken ribs, broken jaw, broken arm... are you sure you want me to continue." "No." "Then tell me your name."
65. "Get me some thread and a needle. Just don't touch me."
66. "The police are coming."
67. "Tell me where she is. TELL ME WHERE IS SHE OR I WILL SLASH YOUR THROAT AND TOSS YOU IN THE SEWER!!!!!"
68. "I love you." "I don't."
69. "Hug me just one last time."
70. "Villain hey hey hey. Calm down. You've been in a pretty bad accident."
71. "They won't be able to walk again."
72. "Tell me... just tell if they made it."
73. "Can't you just poof me another arm?"
74. "If you saved all of them, you can save me."
75. "I'm really tired..."
76. "Sleep. I will stay with you."
77. "She is sixteen years old." "All musicians start young." "This isn't a concert, this is life. Stop ruining it."
78. "He"s been in an accident." "Where?" "Five minutes away from your place."
79. "I wish he wasn't unconscious, so I could talk to him. So I could thank him."
80. "It's been four months now. I have came everyday and, uh, I dunno what to say. Hero, I need you to wake up. I can't function knowing you are right here."
81. "I have a date." "Hmm with who?" "Supervillain." "When and where honey?"
82. "Shhhhhhh. Be quiet. We are still being hunted."
83. "Desert?" "What are you trying to do? Kill me?"
84. "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." "I know, I know dear and I so sorry, but I need you to help me. I need you to help them."
85. "Villain just sleep. Allow the drugs to take you under. Don't fight it, don't resist... just sleep. In the morning, we will be safe."
86. "Being lost in the woods isn't ideal."
87. "An injection of valium will do it."
88. "There's no anesthesia."
89. "Wouldn't it be great if we never met each other?"
90. "Bless you." "I didn't sneeze." "Yeah right. Now go sit down, you're sick."
91. "It's called insomnia you dim-wit."
92. "Join me and we can be great."
93. "You didn't bring me here for the cake." "No, dear, but you are so gullible. I brought you here for a sacrifice." "My life?" "Why yes."
94. "I don't know. I never had someone collapse on my doorstep before."
95. "I have nothing to lose. No family, no friends, just my meaningless life."
96. "That's my daughter, not the villain's... so give me her back before I rip your eyes out."
97. "How long was I out for?!" "Ten minutes, but you were drifting. I don't think you had that good of rest." "Oh, I thought I was asleep for hours."
98. "I know, I know you are going to hate me after this, but trust me when I say it's for the best."
99. "I know everything about you."
100. "I think narcissism is contagious because after watching you for a couple hours, I think I may have developed a little crush on the mirror..."
101. "What did you give me?"
102. "Is she screams, I'm going to scream, and then we are going to die."
103. "No fighting today, my cat just died."
104. "How hard did you punch me?"
105. "Not gonna lie, being delirious was epic."
106. "I am cooking for you. You aren't my servant, so stop thinking it."
107. "My old masters made me into a weapon and called me Villain, but if you desire a lapdog I am going to need to be refurnished to fit your needs."
108. "What is his deal?" "I think he's just crazy."
109. "Love is not what I had in mind when I agreed to go on a date with you."
110. "Hugs are overrated."
111. "Are you too hot or too cold?" "Both."
112. "I wish we could turn back time."
113. "I lost the game." "What do you mean? Hero is dead." "Precisely."
114. "Make a wish." "That you live."
115. "Villain has been acting exceptional! Today we granted them a break from the machine. Go ahead Hero and take him for some ice cream."
116. (Sleepy murmurs) "Don't go. I neeeed you." "Yeah yeah I know Villain."
117. "Villain was the one who hurt me, not Hero."
118. "Supervillain is in danger!"
119. "If everyone is scared of me, I might as well be alone."
120. "My head is killing me."
121. "Don't call an ambulance. Just... hold me."
122. "You don't have to do this. It's going to hurt you more than me." "Anything for you dearest, anything at all."
123. "Hero, go wash your hands before dinner."
124. "You have PTSD?" "I don't know?"
125. "I have soap in my eyes!' "Rinse it out." "Mm no I'm permanently mortally blinded." "Uh huh."
126. "We need to cuddle to keep warm."
127. "Take care of them for me, will you?"
128. "When I'm gone, promise to tell my mother, please."
129. "Drug him and then bring him to me."
130. "Superheroes are for children. In all honesty, we are all villains."
131. "Oh my gosh, Hero, what happened?" "Poisoned."
132. "Wouldn't it be nice?" "I don't fancy prosthetics."
133. "Just shut up and listen!"
134. "There is a memorial parade for Hero tomorrow. They asked you to lead it."
135. "She turned it around... at the end."
136. "I wish that he understood how much I care for him."
137. "Civilian! He fell asleep in my lap last night, like totally zooted. It was so cute, but also very tempting. I stuck a french fry up his nose." "Wow. Did he wake up then?" "Yeah, I am sorta kidnapped right now..."
138. "The book, the sword... all pieces of the puzzle huh." "No, darling, all pieces of my game."
139. "Their death is my fault! Not your's, but mine, so quit trying to make me feel better."
140. "Once upon a time-" "Oh please, not another fairytale."
141. "If only it was that easy."
142. "We are stuck in a maze, how can you be so joyful?"
143. "Celebrate Hero, eat your cake, party into the night... but just know, I will be back."
144. "Call 911!" "Why?" "I stubbed my toe."
145. "Your jawline looks like it was gauzed over in lard." "It looks better than your hay for hair."
146. "You're my best friend." "Villain? Are you on drugs?"
147. "Lay him there and leave him. Let the rats dine on him."
148. "The point of the cow suit?" "Oh, uh, I was at a Halloween parade. You know, for children."
149. "I-i never wanted to hurt you." "I know, I wanted you to, so I allowed it."
150. "Favorite movie?" "Your death." "Ooo never heard of it, let's watch it." "*groans* Oh my gosh, you are stupid."
151. "Being a flutist is my only superpower. And being modest apparently."
152. "Your head will join my collection if yoi don't watch out."
153. "Hey, hey! Wake up, buddy. It's just a nightmare."
154. "Meh head hurts." "Yeah, you hit it pretty hard."
155. "Let's go for a ride." "On that yellow miniature school bus?" "It's a ranger you idiot."
156. "No painkillers, no bandages, perfect environment for infection to settle... I'm just gonna leave you here Villain."
157. "I save you and this is how you repay me? A prison?"
158. "What are you doing?" "Climbing a tree? No Hero, I am breaking into your house to kidnap you."
159. "I formally apologize."
160. "Of all places, Hero, you had to teleport us to a desert. A DESERT."
161. "Supervillain won't stop unless we team up." "I don't think our alliance will stop them, I think it'll just make them angrier."
162. "Stop singing or I will blow this place until even the last atom is broken into itty-bitty molecules!" "That... that is scientifically impossible."
163. "I'm a genius! Yippee!"
164. "Life isn't perfect and nor is your morals."
165. "Control yourself before you kill everyone around you."
166. "Say your goodbyes."
167. "Of all the ways I've died, drowning was by far the nicest."
168. "Love the collar. Is it for fashion purposes?" "Uh, um, uh, er, no?"
169. "You look lonely. Want some hot coco?"
170. "It is negative million out there and you expect me to come in toasty warm after fixing your power?"
171. "Are you sick?" "Yeh." "Come on in then."
172. "Civilian, don't even bother trying to save him."
173. "We have a breach!"
174. "What makes a villain's life less important than your's?"
175. "Enjoy your soup." "You poisoned it." "And you're delusional, eat up."
176. "I hate 99% of the population." "According to a meme I found, you are therefore a cat."
177. "Don't overuse your powers."
178. "This is just an unfortunate event."
179. "You look so cute when you are sleepy and barely conscious."
180. "His fever is rising."
181. "Save her, leave me. I'll-i'll get out of this somehow."
182. "Sometimes self-sacrifice isn't noble, it's selfish."
183. "You are so funny that I need my inhaler to kill you with." "That sentence was so discombobulated that I am leaving."
184. "Just for your information, I hate oranges but love grapes."
185. "Walking down the stairs shouldn't be a momental effort." "You broke both your legs."
186. "You just destroyed my life's work, don't expect me to give you a huge bear hug."
187. "Is it true that you have telekinesis?" "Yes, why?" "Go steal me a donut."
188. "You are so incredibly touch starved, Villain." "Mmm." "Tired? Go ahead and sleep, I'm here."
189. "This is for your own good, I promise."
190. "I'm cold."
191. "I don't want to move and you can't make me."
192. "I AM RETIRED! YOU DON'T NEED TO CONTINUE TO SEND ME PAMPHLETS OF THE HOTTEST HERO OF THE YEAR!"
193. "He's unconscious." "That tired, huh." "No, he passed out from blood loss."
194. "I want a kitten."
195. "I'm no scared of you, so stop acting like I am."
196. "He isn't dangerous, just scared."
197. "They won't be going anywhere for a long, long time."
198. "Hero? Hero? Oh my goodness, please wake up."
199. "Life is too short for pleasures."
200. "I hope you are happy, in the end."
35 notes · View notes
thereaderstea · 3 years
Note
G´day tor-mon, how are you<3? Recommend me your favourite bts!jungkook x reader fics! so I guess its not an au?(no smut✋🚫)
Merry meet, nonnie! I am well, busy and a little stressed because I had a power outage yesterday, but well nonetheless ☺️ I hope you are merry in the holidays (if you celebrate) and are happy and healthy 😄🖤💜
asdfghjkl, my favorite JJK x Reader fics? I have to choose? 😰 *has an existential crisis*
Alright, after some deep reflection, an existential crisis, and fighting the urge to devour these fics again (you have a mission, tor-mon!), I present to you my current favorite JJK fics (this list is only bound to grow). These fics have made me feel so intensely and I think about these fics a lot (an unhealthy amount, probably). I sorted them by genre: fluff to angst to yandere.
tor-mon’s Favorite JJK x Reader Fics
Sugar and Coffee by @jimlingss​  ➵Fluff, Angst, Slice of Life | slice of life au |  pâtisserie school au | enemies to friends to lovers au | Slice of Life series | 23 ch series | 100.5k ➵You are quite the pâtisserie chef, or at least on your way to becoming one, but there’s that one person who always has to complain, Jeon Jungkook.  ➵A masterpiece, honestly. I remember cracking up so hard over their competitions, the banter, and dynamics, but nothing beats that one day after the dream... I don’t want to spoil! but I do want to warn that there is a wet dream (not too graphic and it’s not a lot, I promise) somewhere in there, but honestly, it’s so hilarious.
Chess of Ice by Jimlingss​ | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 | 3 ➵Fluff, a lil bit of Angst | sports au | curling au | trilogy | 42.8k ➵Jeon Jungkook is a rising star, that is, until he falls. Now he’s picking up another sport, curling. ➵I love a good team dynamic and the characters in this are everything 🙌🏻
Date in a Box by Jimlingss​  ➵Fluff | Service Series | oneshot | 9.7k (Jimlingss’s summary: ) ➵If you’re in a hurry then we’re here to help you! Everything you need in a box. Delivery less than five minutes. Upgrade and we can personalize your date even more! Guaranteed 100%! Don’t fret, we’re here.  ➵I love the entire Service Series because the concepts are so much fun and they’re hilarious and I love the service descriptions, aka the commercials XD
I Will Not Lose! by Jimlingss​ ➵Fluff | magic au | oneshot | 6.2k (Jimlingss’s summary: ) ➵A single bet - use every means to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you. ➵It’s fluffy and cute, and it’s got that hint of enemies to lovers, especially with how competitive the mc gets over this bet. And the ending! asdfghjkl ^.^ 
midas by @gukyi​  ➵Fluff, (light) Angst, Comedy | enemies to lovers au | ceo au| magical realism au | oneshot | 32k (gukyi’s summary: ) ➵jeon jungkook was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and the power to turn whatever he wants into pure gold. you were born with healing and invisibility powers but without a cent to your name. so when you’re plucked off of the streets for pickpocketing and assigned to be his minder as punishment, you realize you’re going to have to overcome a lot more than class differences if either of you are going to get what you want. (or,) ➵you become Jungkook’s magical babysitter ➵I really love this concept! This fic is what got me looking into magical realism as an entire genre. But also, who doesn’t love a good enemies to lovers? and from the master of enemies to lovers 🙌🏻
ice prince by gukyi | The Reader’s Tea Review   ➵Fluff, (very light) Angst | figure skating au | enemies to lovers au | oneshot | 22k ➵Your ice skating partner just had to break his leg right before a big competition and “of all people on this godforsaken Earth, you’ve been re-paired up with Jeon Jungkook, Ice Prince.” ➵an axel-lent enemies to lovers :D I love it so much! And I really love Tae and mc’s friendship and all those icebreaker questions ☺️
if i told you by gukyi​  ➵Fluff, (light) Angst, Comedy | friends to lovers au | college au | oneshot | 22k ➵Jeon Jungkook is a broke college student, so to pay off his debt, he sells himself as the perfect boyfriend. If only you weren’t a broke college student either, then maybe you could buy yourself a date with Jungkook. ➵The mc is so not what I expected, (no spoilers!) all I will say is that I really love how supportive she is. I also love how close they are and this Jungkook is too fluffy and cute! ^.^
a moonlight melody by gukyi​ | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 ➵Fluff, Soft Angst | fake dating au | orchestra au | vacation au | duology | 50k ➵Your best friend has pranked you too many times and you’ve done nothing about it, because you, quite frankly, suck at pranking. As such, Jungkook ➵This is so soft and magical and sweet and soft ☺️ and did I mention soft? but also all those memes! There is so much good and wholesome and hilarious dynamics in here! This is the kind of fic that makes me wish I had a big friend group to do crazy stuff like this (but I hear you have to leave your house and, like, socialize??)
Down With The Ship by @tatastaetae | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 | 3 ➵Fluff, Angst | pirate au | trilogy | 25.4k ➵ You board a ship to escape forced love; but you join a pirate crew to fall into the arms of your only true and constant love: the sea. (or, tatastaetae’s summary: ) ➵Captain Jeon Jungkook; a beautiful mess of blood and gold. His greatest treasure, may also be his greatest downfall. ➵Very very fluffy! I love the adventure and the antics and I still want to know what’s in that soup, Jin! But that ending, holy heck, I didn’t see it coming and I just malfunctioned and stared at my wall in shock for who knows how long, and I just love tatastaetae’s fluffy writing which always somehow wrecks my soul! ^.^
His Name by @jimlingss ➵Angst | multiple personality au | 8 part series | 52.4k ➵Jeon Jungkook has multiple personalities and gaps in his memory. It’s your job to treat him and perhaps help him remember his past... ➵This is the first bts fic I ever read (a special thanks to Nani for reccing it ☺️) and so it holds a special place in my black heart, especially because I sobbed so hard at 3 in the morning and my mind was stuck on this for days
Gravity by @donewithjeon | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | ‘90s au | oneshot | 29k ➵Time can bring you together, but Time can also push you apart; will you and Jungkook be able to fight the distance and Time to stay together, or were you always meant to only share this descent to earth for just a moment, always meant to eventually drift apart? ➵I am a wimp when it comes to Time, but does that stop me from reading fics that exploit that weakness? nope! That last train scene destroyed my heart and that entire ending, the acceptance, stabbed me in the heart, for good measure.
written on the sky by @inktae​ | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | apocalyptic au? | end of the world au | ‘seeking a friend at the end of the world’ au | oneshot | 22k ➵The 60-mile-wide asteroid was supposed to slip by Earth, but it’s a little late to change its course or do anything about it except to prepare for the end. So while you’re waiting for the end, find a friend, someone to hold a hand with at the end of the world. ➵I was sobbing before the fic even finished. The odd thing is that you know the end, but knowing doesn’t prepare you for the feels. 
below thunder showers by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵ Angst, lil bits of Fluff | sci-fi au | oneshot | 30k ➵ Yoongi leads Earth, while you lead a withered space station. You go to Earth to settle the tensions that have been brewing between Earth and the space station, and Jeon Jungkook, a broken soldier who holds a deep love for the rain, is there to deliver you. ➵we stan a fellow pluviophile ✊🏻 I am so conflicted over this Min Yoongi >.< but Jungkook is so soft and he really didn’t deserve to live this way :(
first light by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | hotarubi no mori e au | 24.8k (inktae’s synopsis: ) ➵“Have you ever felt like the world is too loud sometimes?” “No. For me it’s always quiet.” ➵This fic wrecked me and made me so conflicted >.< I can never forget this fluffy, masked boy who lives in the woods and silence...
the swirling way of stars by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, Fluff | fantasy au | oneshot | 19k ➵You’re tasked with showing Jeon Jungkook what it’s like to live a completely normal life. ➵It’s just falling in love with life itself, the simple things, and it’s written so magically...how can you not fall in love?
the train of lost souls by inktae | The Reader’s Tea Review ➵Angst, lil bits of Fluff | fantasy au | oneshot | 13.6k ➵You have two options when you step on the train: you can live but forget your life, and everyone in your life will forget you, or you can move on and keep your memories for the rest of time. But, how can you choose when part of your soul rests on this train, and the other part longs for someone just out of reach... ➵Once again, I’m a wimp with Time, and the choices really get me thinking...
Pen Pal by @chinkbihh​  ➵Part 1 | Part 1.5 | Part 2 | Final 1/2 | Final 2/2 ➵Angst, Horror? | yandere au | murder and crime au | pen pal au | trilogy | 127.3k ➵Warnings: mental disorders (agoraphobia?), yandere, murder (stabbing)  ➵You sign up to receive a pen pal and are paired up with an inmate, jungkook. You just wanted to talk to someone who could understand what it’s like to be removed from society, but you just may be getting more than you asked for... ➵I love a good yandere fic, there’s something about a yandere’s demented psychology that calls to me, and it’s always so interesting to see how one yandere differs from another, especially in different scenarios. But please please please read and be mindful of the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you.
Quarter Quell by chinkbihh ➵Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | +more  ➵Angst, Horror? | yandere au | hunger games au | ongoing ➵You have resigned to your fate as a tribute in the next hunger games when someone from District Two takes an interest in you...a bit too much of an interest, you’d say. ➵I am a little hesitant to rec this because it isn’t finished, but the premise is exciting and I am really amped for the next chapter in this fic, heck yeah! I mean, heck, a yandere hunger games au? let’s go! But please please please read the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you
~*~
Bonus rec!
I haven’t read this fic, but my friend, Nani, rec’d it to me the other day, and it sounds so exciting :D so I’ll let her tell you about it:
Fan Identity by @tteokggukk​  ➵Fluff, Crack, Angst | enemies to lovers au | social media au | 37 ch series   ➵Influencer!JK is whipped for influencer!reader. Both don’t know they’re interacting with each other on their secret fan accounts. You’re rooting for the two long before they properly meet. But the best part? You’re rooting for their pseudos, Blair Witch and Seagull, as well. ➵I laugh, I pause, I gasp. The conflict between the two mc’s hurt. Honestly, it made the story worth the read.
~*~
Can I also...🥺...may I suggest:
10 Series by @deepdarkdelights | The Reader’s Tea Reviews 1 | 2 | 3 | The Reader’s Tea Analysis ➵10 Seconds | 10 Days | 10 Years ➵Horror? | yandere au | Bouquet Series | 10 Series | trilogy | 29.2k ➵You’re just a college student returning home from a late night out trying to finish up your ungodly college work...but “All it took was ten seconds” and well, now, you’re his. ➵How can I not include my favorite yandere writer, the master of yandere, herself? 🥺 I’m only hesitant because you requested no smut and I respect that, but if you are alright with a small smut scene (I promise there’s not too much) or even just skimming/skipping over it, I would highly recommend this series 🙌🏻 The smut scene is in the final installment (10 Years). It’s an all-time favorite from an all-time favorite writer. But please please please read the warnings in case it just doesn’t vibe with you.
~*~
Happy reading, carissima! I hope at least one of these fics will become your favorite, too ☺️ Let me know what you think as well after you’ve given the authors some love ☺️
Well met!
your fellow reading monster,
tor-mon 🖤
216 notes · View notes
alpacaparkaseok · 3 years
Text
The Other Side
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Part Two
Genre: KSJ Soulmate au
Warnings: none, it’s pure fluff with some emotional jazz I guess
Word Count: 8.8k
Yuri jams her body between me and the door, staring me down as I rattle the handle.
“You locked it!” I shout, seeing red. The door doesn’t budge as I continue to try to break out, the sounds of people shouting outside only spurring me on.
My friend gives me a stern look before nodding. “The door is locked, yes. It will stay like that until you get your heart rate under control. And you want to know how-”
“Yeah, whatever. Get it set up.”
I wave her off, Yuri laughing as I’ve come back to my senses a bit. She rummages through her bag before pulling out a handheld heart monitor. While she pulls a chair over I sink down to my knees, sitting against the door for support.
The second I lean against it, the door jolts. It would appear that Jin has finally arrived.
Yuri has a wide-eyed gaze as she watches the door shake. Jin’s voice rings out loud and clear as he comes to the realization that the door is indeed locked.
“Key. Now.”
Several voices answer him, but he pays them no heed.
“Who locked it.”
His voice is low and monotone, barely sheathing the sharpness that’s threatening to break free and cut down anyone in his path. Just the mere sound of it is enough to make my heart jump again, and I close my eyes against the stars in my vision.
Yuri notices and kneels before me, looping the heart monitor around my finger before lightly tapping my shoulder.
“The senior assistant is on his way, he’ll get Jin under control. For now, do you think you could tell him to calm down and put the heart monitor on?”
I know what she’s saying, but it still takes me a moment to wrap my mind around her words. Once I do, I take a deep breath and give her a shaky nod.
“Sure.”
Rising from the ground, I pause and beg the rational part of my brain to make an appearance. A wry smile cuts across my face.
“This is probably the worst first day ever.”
Yuri shrugs. “Or the best.”
Shaking my head, I knock lightly on the door. I have to do it a couple of times before it’s quiet enough out there for Jin to hear me.
When it’s quiet but nobody responds, I attempt to speak.
“Seokjin?” I wince at how informal I sound, but I’ll just have to dwell on the logistics of it all later on.
Footsteps draw nearer until they’re just before the door. “H-Haneul? Are you ok?”
My cheeks burn bright red as I realize that he remembered my name. “I’m fine, but I need you to do me a favor.”
“Anything,” he responds without a moment’s hesitation. “What do you need?”
Finding encouragement in Yuri’s proud smile, I close my eyes and lean my head against the door. “There should be another heart rate monitor in my bag; I left it in the other room. You need to put it on.”
“You...want me to leave and grab it?” There’s a note of panic in his voice which matches the hitch in my breathing as I think about Jin leaving.
“No! No, don’t leave.” I take a deep breath, fighting to remain in control of my senses. “Just have someone grab the bag and bring it back. Yuri said that the senior assistant will be up shortly - he’ll know what to do from there.”
I’m sure that there’s a crowd of people outside the door, because I hear several feet hurrying away. Despite hearing Jin’s obvious aversion to leaving, I still start to panic as I imagine him leaving.
What if he doesn’t come back? I mean, Bighit probably won’t want me for the job anymore, seeing that I’ve complicated everything. Maybe Jin’s disgusted with me and will just leave before word can get out that his soulmate is a soulmate assistant. My status alone would result in a PR disaster as is-
“Haneul?”
I didn’t even realize how hard I was pushing up against the door until I hear Jin’s voice on the other side. Head jolting up, I gulp down air to fill my empty lungs.
“Yes?”
Now that Jin has calmed down a bit, he sounds a bit timid. “They brought your bag back. Is it ok if I open it?”
“Oh.” The ghost of a smile flickers across my face. “Yeah, that’s fine. The monitor should be in the right outermost pocket.”
I listen intently as my bag is unzipped and Jin begins trying to work the heart monitor. A few people help him with it, while someone else says something about grabbing a chair. About a minute of silence passes before Jungkook’s timid voice rings out.
“Um...Miss Choi?”
“Yeah?”
“What is your heart rate at right now?”
Yuri holds the actual heart monitor, and she quickly consults it before answering. “Haneul’s is currently at 162, it appears to be dropping at a consistent rate. What’s Jin’s?”
Before Jungkook can answer, somebody else arrives. There are low voices consulting outside the door; one of them I recognize as Sejin. I’m about to start pounding on the door and demanding answers when the newcomer speaks up.
“Yuri, are you in there?”
Yuri jumps up. “I am. Is everything ok out there?” When I give her a questioning look, she mouths ‘senior assistant’ to me. I let out a long sigh, feeling a little relieved to know that someone legitimely qualified is out there with Jin.
“Jin is doing fine, however his heart rate is still abnormally high. Jungkook told me Miss Choi is coming down from 162. Is that still the case?”
“She’s down to 158 now, still dropping as it should.”
There’s a long pause before he speaks again. “It would appear that Seokjin here is having a harder time getting his heart rate under control. He’s stuck.”
If my heart wasn’t still beating so fast it would have probably spiked from the panic that sets in. Resting my hand on the doorknob as though it will magically unlock at any given second, I ask what I know I must.
“May I know what his heart rate is, sir?”
“You’re the soulmate?” He sounds a bit uncertain, but Yuri steps in before I decide to break down the door and strangle him.
“She is, but she’s also a highly trained central assistant. Haneul is in control of herself, there’s no need to worry.”
Yuri sounds firm enough that it leaves no room for argument. I make a mental note to buy her dinner or something after all of this blows over.
“Alright,” he sighs. “Seokjin is maintaining a heart rate of 198.”
I gasp before putting my hand over my mouth. “198?” I hiss, whirling to look at Yuri. She has a cool and calm expression on like a mask, but I can see right through her. I would be doing the same thing if I were her; but I’m not.
This is the moment I’ve been waiting for my entire life; it’s the moment I was just dreaming about last night! Yet I should have known that it wouldn’t be so easy. Not only is my soulmate one of the most recognizable idols in the world, he’s also experiencing what is commonly referred to as “stationary shock”.
In other words, Jin has something going on in his head or heart that has him staying in the initial wave of shock that usually only lasts the first 60 seconds.
Yuri is asking questions, but it sounds like she’s speaking underwater. While she’s doing her best to understand the situation, I ease the heart monitor from her hands and stare down at the numbers there.
Instead of continuing to decrease, my numbers remain the same as well. This is what I was expecting; Jin’s predicament directly affects my own. How can I relax when I know that he’s on the other side of that door in a state of shock, unable to calm down?
My feet carry me away from the door, wandering over to a nearby window. Standing before it, I notice with a start that it’s beginning to snow.
The clouds, heavy with water, have decided to gently let go of their burden.
Perhaps I’ve lost just enough sanity to start pondering the lives of nimbus clouds, because suddenly my mind is rushing with the possibilities of the clouds before me.
Just like that, my mind begins to race with all the information I’ve learned over the years about stationary shock. Usually the people who experience it are the same ones that have a history of anxiety when it comes to the topic of soulmates.
There’s a famous example of a couple from the 1960’s that had an encounter similar to anybody else’s; except for the fact that the woman's heart rate refused to come down. What usually takes fifteen minutes ended up going over the three hour mark.
Little things brought her heart rate down: talking to her friends, drinking water, and voicing her thoughts. However, what ended up being her saving grace was her soulmate who took matters into his own hands and talked her down. From their conversation soulmate specialists were able to deduce that she had major anxiety in regard to soulmates due to personal issues. It was only as she was able to open up to her actual soulmate that her heart rate was able to come back down and away from physical harm.
As I watch the snowflakes drift through the sky, I come to the root of it all.
“I have to make him snow,” I mumble. Turning around to where Yuri remains talking through the door, I wave to get her attention.
It takes her a moment, she’s clearly focusing hard on the issue at hand. The hint of a smile cracks her icy expression before she walks over to me.
“What’s up?”
“I think I have to make him snow.”
Yuri tilts her head to one side, looking at me quizzically. “Snow? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s going through stationary shock, isn’t he?” Once she nods, I continue on in my plea. “Don’t you think this could be like that couple, you know, from the 60’s? We need to get him to snow...you know, open up. Let everything go.”
She hesitates, entertaining the idea for a moment. “First we need to go through the normal procedures; chances are the normal steps will bring him down a bit.” Yuri stops me before I can jump into action. “Everyone is bringing up different items for him to go through, Mr. Chung is having him drink some water and stretch right now. Let’s just see how that goes first, alright?”
I look at her incredulously. “Who on earth is Mr. Chung?!”
Yuri laughs, “The senior soulmate assistant, loser. So let’s just let him do his job before we try to pry the nasty truth from your soulmate, ok?”
Blushing madly at the casual way Yuri mentions my soulmate, I give her a reluctant nod. “Fine. But if he’s not better in ten minutes, everybody leaves and I get to do it my way.”
“Let’s say twenty.”
Glaring, I clench my jaw. “Fifteen.”
Yuri sighs before walking back over to the door. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Focusing on the five senses is the first thing all soulmate assistants are taught to do when faced with stationary shock. It helps the person to calm down when they can focus on one thing at a time.
First: Sight.
“Ok Seokjin, my grandchildren have a horrible habit of making fun of how many crooked teeth I have,” Mr. Chung starts. He sounds ultra calm and soothing, I find myself sitting before the door again and being lulled into a calming state just by the sound of his voice. “I’m going to give you my best smile, please pay attention and tell me if my grandchildren are right.”
A few seconds pass before Jin says anything. “You have a lovely smile.”
“Thank you very much, that means a lot coming from an idol such as yourself. Shall we move on to the next step?”
Second: Sound.
“Would you like to listen to some music? Perhaps there’s a piece that helps you to think clearly-”
“No.” Jin’s voice is solid as he rejects the idea. “No music, please.”
Ok, scratch that.
Mr. Chung goes through the other senses, bringing up some tea for Jin to drink and taste, wafting smellings salts under his nose, even bringing up an RJ for him to hold and touch. We’re coming up on fifteen minutes when I give Yuri a knowing look.
“Yuri, Mr. Chung...this is crossing into dangerous territory,” I squeak out, trying to breathe properly. “I think it might be best to give Jin some space for a little while.”
Yuri stares at the door, waiting for Mr. Chung to speak. Holding my breath, I drop my head in my hands and stare down at the floor even as tears prick at my eyes.
This must be my punishment for not being patient enough to just wait for my soulmate.
Right now, sitting so close and yet being undeniably separate, I feel that this is the consequence for not trusting fate enough to just trust its timing.
Now that I’ve fought and clawed my way to the top, I’ve put my soulmate in danger. My heart begins to tear itself apart as I realize that while I’ve been ready for years to meet him, my soulmate was not.
Jin wasn’t ready, and I’ve taken that away from him.
Hot tears are threatening to spill out onto my cheeks, but I brush them away before they get the chance. This isn’t about me, this isn’t the time for self-pity. This is about making sure Jin comes out of this alright.
“Han?” Yuri taps my shoulder, handing me something. I look down to see it’s a paging device. “We’re going, but if you need us, press this button. We’ll be just down the hall.”
I gape up at her, surprised that my request was granted. “You’re actually leaving?” Suddenly my stomach suddenly sinks as I realize that I didn’t really think past this point. “What am I supposed to do?” I whisper.
Yuri fixes my hair, giving me a glowing smile. “There’s a reason he’s your soulmate, Han. Just do what feels right.”
If I wasn’t nearly sobbing before, I definitely am now. Trying my best to swallow my emotions, I nod at her. Yuri walks over to the door, knocking on it.
“We’re ready on this side.”
There’s a few footsteps outside the door and I imagine they’re moving Jin away. For good measure I turn away from the door. The last thing we need is face-to-face contact jolting our heart rate again. I’m not sure how much more I can take of this; let alone Jin.
The sound of the door unlocking reverberates through my entire system, and I cling to the chair I’m sitting on for dear life.
“Quickly, quickly,” Mr. Chung instructs. A moment later, the door shuts and locks again. I can hardly breathe as I hear them moving away, a muffled conversation taking place between Mr. Chung and Jin.
Then all is silent.
Suddenly alone in the room I gaze down at my monitor, watching at my heart rate jumps around a bit before settling back down at 142.
Still too high.
According to Mr. Chung, Jin’s heart rate came down a little bit during the 5 senses procedures, however it was still dangerously high. If everything has stayed the same he should be hovering around 160.
My ears strain to hear if Jin has returned to the door, but I hear nothing. As the seconds tick by I become more and more concerned, remembering my thoughts from earlier.
Jin clearly was not ready to find his soulmate. As far as I know, he had some major issues to work through before we met.
How am I supposed to feel right now?
How am I supposed to react when I’ve finally met the person I’ve been searching for my entire life, only to find that they weren’t ready to receive me?
The question that I’ve buried deep down for the entirety of my life comes bubbling back up to the surface in the face of this new dilemma.
Am I somehow too much?
As I get up out of my chair and sit with my back to the door, I stare out the window at the growing winter storm.
How many times have I wished to let myself go like that? No more small flurries that have people stopping to enjoy before scurrying on; I want to let go of everything I’ve learned and held inside until it’s a blizzard that has cars stopping and school cancelled because to ignore the blizzard is to ignore me.
My vision is blurry as I look down at my hands, almost expecting to see snowflakes falling from them.
Fate is a funny thing. It decided to pair me; a reserved girl with an endless internal blizzard raging and Jin. Jin, the man that flaunts himself with no reserve and infinite confidence.
I wonder if Jin has ever looked inside himself and felt like he was too much. The thought is a comforting one.
A slight push against the door notifies me to the presence of someone else sitting on the other side. Back to back, with only a slab of wood between us, my soulmate and I huff out a sigh at the same time.
It takes me by surprise, and it clearly does for him too. Jin chuckles, the sound sending a thrill through me despite my depressing thoughts. I chew on the inside of my lip, thinking of what to say.
The voice of my friend who found her soulmate years ago comes to my mind, taking me off guard. “And you think he isn’t ready to be found? Nobody ever is. But I can guarantee that the two of you are both ready to be loved.”
Like a lightbulb turning on over my head, I realize that I’ve been worrying over the wrong thing. Sure, maybe Jin wasn’t ready to be found yet. But if I’ve met him doesn't that mean that I should love him regardless?
“Hey Seokjin.”
Leaning my head back and closing my eyes, I can almost hear Jin’s deep breaths. No doubt he’s still trying to breathe deeply so he can get his heart under control.
“Hey Haneul.”
Those two words are enough to have me floating off the ground, a silly grin spreading across my features.
“Do you still have RJ over there?”
“Oh yeah, he’s right here.”
“Is he doing alright?”
Jin chuckles. “He said he’s fine. How are you?”
“I’m ok, I think.” My eyes drift open again and stray back to the window. “Did you know that it’s snowing right now?”
“Really?” Jin sounds strangely familiar, like we do this all the time. “Is it just a little?”
I shake my head even though he can’t see me. “No, it started slow but now it’s really coming down.”
“Good.” I would never be able to guess that Jin is still going through a bout of tachycardia judging from his even tone of voice. “I’d rather it be a blizzard than anything.”
“Me too!” I exclaim. “Much more satisfying.”
“Mm.”
It’s silent again, but this time I don’t feel like the walls are caving in on me. A quick glance at my monitor has me smiling.
I’m down to 135. Once we reach 80 we can open the door.
My heart rate spikes again at the thought of opening the door, and I take a deep breath to calm down.
“Would you describe it to me?” Jin’s voice is quiet, but I hear it clearly in the silence of the room.
“The snowstorm?”
“Yes.” He’s quiet for another moment before adding, “Please.”
Squinting, I stare out the window. “The snow is white.”
The door rumbles as Jin laughs. “We both know that’s not what I meant.”
Laughing to myself, I try to come up with something poetic for my soulmate. “Like I said earlier, it started off slowly. I could see that each snowflake was individual as they came down. Now, they’re in clusters, all big and fluffy. The kind that people try to catch on their tongues, you know?”
“Ooh, right.”
I pause, trying to figure out what else to say. “It makes it look not so cold. Earlier it looked kind of miserable and freezing, but now with all the snow coming down it just makes me want to walk around outside. It’ll be warmer, and quiet.”
Jin hums in acknowledgement. “I like it when it’s quiet after it snows.”
“Me too.”
“That’s probably why we’re…” Jin trails off, and I understand why he doesn’t say it. Just to even think about being soulmates with him has my heart clenching.
“Yeah, probably.” I supply.
“So how’s your first day at your new job going?”
I croak out a laugh, rolling my eyes. “Do you want the honest answer or the lie?”
“Both, please.”
How is he so polite even in teasing? The media has always portrayed him as a free spirit that doesn’t care much about what others think, and yet he’s said please more times in the past twenty minutes than I’ve heard all week.
“It’s great, thanks for asking.”
It’s quiet before Jin speaks up again. “Which one was that?”
I shrug, my shoulders rubbing up against the door. “Probably both, I haven’t decided yet.”
Jin’s laugh sounds loud and clear, but I can’t help but wonder what it would sound like if there wasn’t a door between the two of us right now.
The minutes pass as we continue to chat, each minute bringing my heart rate down a bit more. Once I reach 100, I let out a shout of triumph.
“What happened?” Jin asks.
“I hit 100! What are you at?”
It’s quiet for a long time before Jin responds. “Do you want the honest answer or the lie?”
My stomach drops but I try to keep my tone light. “Honesty is always the best policy.”
“It says 154.”
My eyes grow wide as I sit straight up, wincing as my tailbone feels sore from sitting on the hard floor for so long.
Jin hasn’t hardly dropped at all and it’s been...18 minutes since we were left alone.
“You’re not saying anything.”
I scramble to come up with something to say, but I don’t want to push him too hard. How am I supposed to get someone to open up to me that I only met thirty minutes ago?
Honesty is the best policy, I guess. “I just thought we were getting along well, that’s all.”
I wish I knew Jin well enough to picture what expression he’s wearing right now, but all I can imagine are his wide eyes as he reached out to me when we first saw each other.
“No, we are,” Jin reassures me, guilt evident in his voice.
Turning around to sit cross-legged before the door, I stare it down like I can see through it to Jin. “So...what are you still so freaked out about?”
Jin doesn’t answer, but I hear him shuffling about and suddenly a card slips under the door. I grab it, flipping it over.
“We’re going to have to open this door eventually, aren’t we?” Jin asks as I study the photocard he just pushed under the door.
“What does Jimin’s photocard have to do with that?”
In response another card slips under the door, followed by another and another until I have six photo cards spread out before me. I’m about to ask where his own photo is until it comes flying under the door, Jin’s serious face looking up at me from where he sits in the picture.
Adding it to the collection before me, I furrow my brows, still not understanding what he’s trying to say.
“I’m assuming you’ve heard of me, right?” Before I can answer, Jin continues speaking. There’s an edge to his voice now as his anxiety makes an appearance. “You’ve probably seen photos just like these for years now. People say that we look beautiful, like some fallen gods or something. Untouchable, yet so many can’t seem to keep away.”
Biting down on the questions I have brimming in my mind, I allow Jin to continue without interrupting.
“This is what people are trained to see. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to be loved. But they just don’t get it. If they could see past all of this - the photos, the extravagant clothes and performances, even the funny shows! If they could see this. Right now, me cowering on one side of a door, hiding from my s...soulmate, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”
“That’s not true.”
“You have to say that! You’re my soulmate!” Jin’s voice rises in desperation, making me wince. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”
“It’s ok,” I breathe out. “Go on.”
Jin pauses before speaking again. “I’m not like everyone else. I wasn’t meant for this life. I’m not saying that I’m not grateful for every second of it; I am. It’s brought me more joy than I ever thought possible, but have you ever stared into the faces of thousands of people who love you and do everything for you, and just knew, deep down, that you don’t deserve it?” Jin is nearly panting as he asks the question again. “Have you, Haneul? Have you ever had millions of people love you but it leaves you wide awake every night staring at the ceiling because no matter how you do the math, there is no way you can ever make it up to them? I don’t deserve this, but you do deserve to know that I am not everything I’ve been portrayed to be.”
Suddenly I find myself wishing for rain rather than snow. The snow is silent as it falls, right now I need rain to pound against the windows and roof, to drown out the ache in my chest as I listen to Jin’s voice shake.
“I...I can’t open this door for you, Haneul. Because what you’ll see is so much less than what you’re expecting, and I can’t stand it.”
I never thought it was possible to drown on dry land, but as I gasp for air I find that there is none. I’m drowning beneath the emotions that Jin has thrown out into the void with such disdain, I’m drowning with the knowledge that I don’t know.
I don’t know what it feels like to be loved by people I’ve never met and still feel like I’m not enough. My own problem seems to wither in the face of Jin’s; feeling like I have to hold back just so I can fit into normal society.
As I stare down at the photos, I wonder which is worse: not feeling worthy of an unconditional love, or knowing nobody will ever love you for who you truly are.
Perhaps it doesn’t matter which is worse. At the end of the day, we’re both hurting.
Slowly gathering up the photo cards, I push them back under the door one by one. Jin says nothing as he collects them.
“First,” my voice is thick with emotion but I push through. “I have heard about you. I’ve seen your face literally everywhere, it’s exhausting to think that I was staring at my soulmate this entire time without knowing it was actually you. On the bright side, now I don’t feel so guilty for thinking that you were cute.”
Jin’s dry laugh tells me that he’s not feeling much better and is certainly not much more inclined to open this door.
“Second, I have no idea what that’s like. It sounds...terrifying and beautiful and just weird. Do you actually have that many fans?” I shake my head. “That’s not the point. You’re worried that I won’t want you because you’re not the ‘Jin’ that the world knows?”
Jin gives a muffled response that I interpret as a yes.
“In what world would that make you less in my eyes? I was never expecting to be paired with a world-renowned star and you feeling so inadequate about it all only confirms that I’m not paired with one!” My voice rises as my heart starts to pump harder. “In all reality, I’ve somehow been paired up with a person that’s normal enough to realize that they’re in way over their head, but they’re brave enough to keep swimming. So instead of tiring yourself out and refusing to let me see you for who you are, why don’t you let me throw you a life jacket or something?”
Jin sounds defensive as he questions me. “What are you even saying?”
“I’m making an analogy, Seokjin, let me think.”
He lets out a startled laugh, not saying anything else. As I ponder what to say that can have any sort of effect on him, I remember the storm outside.
Stretching and scooting even closer to the door, I close my eyes against the rising embarrassment. “Just, this is how I think about things sometimes. Hear me out, ok? Then you can decide how you want to do this. It’s your decision as much as it is mine, I won’t force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I promise.” I barely make it through my promise, squeezing my eyes extra tight in hopes that he won’t just decide to get up and leave right now.
“...I’ll listen.”
Rubbing the temples of my forehead, I send up a silent prayer that this will make sense.
“It’s snowing, right? I think you might be like those clouds outside right now. You’ve traveled all over the world, picking up little bits and pieces along the way. So many have looked up at you, wishing they could be up there in the sky with you. You’d love to bring them up with you, wouldn’t you? But it’s impossible for a cloud to pick up a person and carry them to the sky.”
“Ok,” Jin interrupts, and I notice with no small amount of relief that he almost sounds like he’s smiling. “I get where you’re going with this, but first I just have to say that I can’t believe you’re comparing me to a cloud.”
“Are you quite finished?” I quip out, grinning.
“For now.”
Sighing, I continue on. “Well, you’re afraid of what people might see if you let go. They’re so used to clear blue skies that you don’t want to scare them away with a bit of bad weather. Sure, sometimes you can send down a few snowflakes. You know, the kind of flurry that melts by morning. People like that, the snowflakes are beautiful and it let’s them know that you’re living in the same miserable world as the rest of them.”
“But?”
“But I think you’re like me. There’s so much going on inside of you; like doubting you deserve everything you’ve been given. You’ve become so good at managing your persona that you’ve forgotten how to let go when you need to. And you’ve forgotten that your soulmate is the one person guaranteed to not mind at all when you feel like everything is too heavy to hold onto anymore. I wouldn’t even bat an eye. It’s normal to feel that the weight of people’s love is sometimes too heavy to bear, Seokjin.”
I’m not sure if I should wait for him to respond, but I sit there quietly as I collect my thoughts. A glance back at the window shows the snow coming down in those same thick clusters as before, the world outside turned into a sheet of white.
Lost in my thoughts, I don’t even realize that minutes pass in silence. This small sliver of time has become infinite for the two of us. We’re too busy looking up at the clouds in our minds and wondering if today will be the day they rage and storm to notice a thing as trivial as time.
“Haneul?”
Jin’s voice brings me back to reality, the door a cruel reminder to our predicament.
“Yeah?”
I can hear him shuffling around again before he speaks. “What if when I start, I can’t stop?”
How do I tell him that I don’t have an answer? I’ve wondered the same thing my entire life.
“I...I’ve thought the same thing.” I admit.
“Really? About yourself?”
“Yeah, of course. Actually, I bet everybody has. But I’ve never heard about anyone going insane from venting their emotions and being honest before, so I think you’ll be able to stop.”
Jin breathes deep, and I wonder if he’s breathing better now. I don’t want to ask what his heart rate is just yet.
“And...you’ll be with me, right?”
I chuckle. “Yeah, with the lifejacket, remember?”
Jin joins in the laughter, the sound easing up some of the stress laid on my shoulders. “You need to decide if we’re talking about clouds or swimming.”
“Right, right.”
What I hope Jin is starting to understand is that I’ll willingly jump in alongside him and swim the length of the ocean if it means he’ll open the door.
It’s been so long, I want to say. I’ve been waiting for you for so long. Can’t you open up?
“See, what I can’t believe is that you didn’t keep my photo card.”
I look at the door with an incredulous expression. “Are you kidding me?! You hypocrite, you need to decide if you’re an arrogant idol or tortured soul!”
We burst out into laughter, amazed at the strangeness of the situation.
“What, I can’t be both?” Jin asks, still laughing.
“Whatever. Do what you want. You don’t happen to have a cushion that you could slide under the door, do you?”
“No, no cushions over here. I feel your pain though; these tile floors are merciless.”
I hum in agreement, switching positions so my legs don’t go numb. It’s quiet for a little while before I yawn, suddenly exhausted by the events of the day.
“So…” Jin starts. “What made you want to become a soulmate assistant?”
I purse my lips, wondering where to even begin. “I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of soulmates, I guess. Why we have them, what their function is, what leads us to them. It just made sense to pursue a degree in soulmate studies, and then obviously this was the next step.”
“So you just applied for Bighit out of the blue?”
Shaking my head, my eyes drift shut as I try to figure out a way to explain this in a way that doesn’t make me sound crazy. “I applied on purpose, it wasn’t just some random job to me. It made sense. I wanted to travel the world...find my soulmate along the way. This job provided the perfect opportunity to do just that.”
Jin must be changing his position as well, I hear him groan a little on the other side. “Well, congrats. You found him, and all within the comfort of Seoul!”
I chuckle, nodding. “That’s right. Now I think it’d be nice to travel, though. I think I’ll be able to enjoy it more.”
“Where do you want to go?”
There’s a part of me that wants to ask if he’s going to join me, but I bite back the comment for now.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. Before, I just wanted to go everywhere. It gave me higher chances of finding my soulmate. Now, though, I’m just realizing that I’ve never thought about going somewhere for the fun of it. Do you have any suggestions?”
“I might have a couple.” Jin pauses. “You really wanted to find me that badly?”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment at his question. “I..yeah, I guess I did. But I was also terrified of finding you.”
“Really?” Jin’s tone is so curious, it makes me smile. “Why would you be scared of finding me?”
I roll my eyes, wanting to tell him that he was obviously scared of being found. Instead I just answer him. “I was worried that you didn’t want to be found.”
It’s silent as Jin processes the new information. I begin to wonder if I’ve made him uncomfortable with my honesty, I can hear him taking slow, deep breaths.
“I’m sorry.”
The way he’s apologizing I know that he really didn’t want to be found. Letting out a dry laugh, I apologize as well. “I’m sorry, too.”
Jin moves around outside, I can feel the door moving under his weight. “This is weird, isn’t it?”
“I mean,” I start, grinning at his innocent view on things. “If you think about it, this is really just another day for me. This is my job, after all.”
Jin snorts. “Don’t tell me you’ve been in this position before.”
I shake my head, forgetting that he can’t see me. “No, never quite like this.”
“Can I…” His voice trails off while I strain to listen, making sure to not miss a single syllable. “Would it be weird if I took you to dinner tonight? You know, to celebrate your first day at your big new job.”
There’s a part of me that wants to tease him for asking me out before even opening the door, but there’s a part of me that’s too busy melting at his kind gesture to say anything of the sort.
“On one condition.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jin huffs. “We’ll open the door soon, I’m almost down to where I should be-”
My laugh cuts him off. “Well, yeah, I guess that’s a pretty good idea but I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Oh.”
“I’ll let you take me anywhere if you give your photocard back.” I jump away from the door as I hear loud noises from the other side, the door itself shaking. “What is going-”
My question is answered as Jin’s photocard is shoved under the door, a bit crumpled but worth it. I can’t keep in my laughter at Jin’s eagerness, Jin himself cracking up.
“I’m so glad you didn’t ask for someone else’s,” he pants, making me laugh even more. Carefully smoothing it out, I place it between my phone case and phone. Slipping my phone back into my pocket, I sneak a glance at my monitor.
72.
“Hey…” I hate to have to ask, in fear of what the answer may be, but I have to. “Has your heart rate come down at all?”
When I hear his machine beeping, I start to panic.
“Seokjin? Seokjin what’s-”
“Sorry,” Jin’s sheepish voice floats through the door. “I took it off a little while ago, I’m just booting it back up.”
I’m completely frozen, staring holes through the door. Slapping my hands against it, I vent my anger with him for nearly giving me a heart attack.
“Don't” bang! “do” bang! “that to me!”
The classic windshield wiper laugh that I’ve come to associate with Jin is what answers me, making me roll my eyes and slump back down. A few more seconds pass as Jin fiddles with the machine, trying to get it to read his heart rate.
“Hey!” He shouts excitedly. “I’m ok!”
This has me straightening right up. “Really? What does it say?”
“77!”
I gasp, grabbing the paging device but stopping before I can press it. “Wait, so you’re feeling better now, right?”
Jin laughs, the sound much lighter than before. I can almost feel his relief through the door. “Yeah, I’m great.”
“So...can I get out of this room now?”
The second I ask the question I curse myself, wishing I hadn’t. I probably should have talked to him a bit more, prepared him more before I threw this onto him.
Jin is quiet as he speaks. “But then what happens?”
I chew on my cheek as I ponder how to best prepare him for the rest of the day. “Well, we say hi to each other first. I’ll probably show you where the loose thread is on your sweater, it’s been driving me crazy this entire time.”
He laughs. “You noticed that?”
“Yeah, I did. I’m sure I have food on my face or something, don’t I? That would be just my luck.”
“No, you don’t.” Then, quieter, “You’re perfect.”
As a blush overtakes my face I choose to pretend I didn’t hear him. “We’ll have to go through the typical procedures, you know, going over the packet I have in my bag that’s for new soulmates, that kind of stuff. We actually have a really boring day ahead of us, Seokjin.”
“Just Jin.”
I blink at the door. “Oh, o-ok.” Then, “I’m just Han, if you want.”
“Like Han Solo?” I hit the door again, making Jin laugh. “Kidding, kidding.”
We chat for a couple more minutes, going over the plans for the day. It’s as I’m finishing to explain the trust exercises we’ll have to perform that Jin interrupts me.
“Sorry, but I just realized that I’d much rather have this conversation face to face. If you don’t mind.”
My eyebrows jump up at how confident he sounds. “Really? You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Just, go easy on me, ok? I’m not all I’m cracked up to be.” He tries to brush it off as a joke, but it’s clear that he’s still feeling a little insecure. I guess that’s something I’ll just have to help him with over time, starting with today.
Pressing the pager, I smile as I watch the snow fall. “As long as we fix your sweater, I’m happy.”
Jin is laughing, claiming he can’t find any loose thread when the sound of footsteps approaching stops him.
“How’s it going, Seokjin?” Mr. Chung’s happy tone greets him.
“It’s going pretty well,” Jin politely replies. “I think we’re both ready to get up from off the floor.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Yuri’s voice rings out. “We should have brought you a chair, that’s all our fault.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Jin responds as he groans getting up from the floor. “You don’t have to worry about me. Han, on the other hand, is a little intense. You might want to watch out for her analogies.”
“Hey!” I shout as everyone laughs. Mr. Chung checks Jin’s heart rate, making sure everything is clear and ready to go. Getting up from the floor, I smooth out my clothes. I head over to the window area again, checking my hair in the reflection.
Looking up at the snowy sky I hear the door unlock.
Whirling around, I stare at it as though it might suddenly come to life and attack me. When a soft knock sounds, I jump back.
It opens just enough for Yuri to stick her head in, grinning once she sees me.
“Hey, are you ok if we just use this room for the rest of this day? Or do you wanna switch?”
I’m mute, waiting to see my soulmate. I just shrug, letting her know that I don’t care. Thankfully Yuri is an expert in anxious soulmates, so she interprets my meaning just fine.
“You can head in, Seokjin.” Yuri says as she heads back out, leaving the door slightly ajar.
I cling to the window frame, knuckles white as I stare out at the storm. Focusing on breathing in and out, I don’t even notice that Jin has entered the room until I see his reflection in the window.
The world moves slowly for a moment as I look up at him in the window, his hands fidgeting at his sides as he waits for me to turn around.
His cheeks are pink, the periwinkle color of his sweater offsetting his dark brown hair that he has swept back. He’s chewing on the inside of his cheek like I am, causing his lips to pout.
“We might not be able to go out and eat if it keeps snowing like that,” Jin breathes out. Even though we were a mere inches apart before, the only thing keeping us apart being a door, I can’t help but hold my breath as I hear him speak.
Taking a deep drink of whatever courage I have left in me, I turn to look at him over my shoulder.
He almost looks away upon meeting eyes with me, but something keeps him planted where he is in my gaze.
“That’s alright,” I mumble, eyes sweeping over his face and heart clenching as I see him shifting from one foot to another, clearly uncomfortable to be under such direct scrutiny. “I don’t mind cooking.”
Jin gives me a soft close-lipped smile, his cheeks rounding out. “Me neither.”
I turn back to the window, standing on my tiptoes as I watch the people scurrying below. One person is trudging along holding more bags than I thought humanly possible, making me smile.
“Come look at this,” I wave Jin over, hoping to let him know that my attention is no longer solely on him.
Jin ambles over, pausing for a moment a few steps behind me before taking the last couple of steps. I point down at the person holding their bags, grinning as another person stops to help them.
Through the reflection in the window I can tell that Jin isn’t watching them at all, his head pointed down but his eyes looking over at me. Something tells me that if he knew I saw him, he’d pass out right here and now, so I pretend to not know.
As the two people share the load of bags and walk toward the nearest bus stop, I sigh. “See? There are still good people out in the world.”
My hands are still clinging to the window frame, my tight grip the one thing that gives my anxiety away. To my eternal shock, Jin raises one shaky hand to my own, his warm hand resting over mine before gently detaching it from the window and smoothing it out.
Neither one of us dares to breathe as he repeats the action with my other hand, taking extra care to smooth out my clenched fingers before releasing them.
I look up at my soulmate, my exhausted heart managing to pick up some speed as I find him looking down at me already, his eyes alight with stars.
His voice is low as he mumbles out, “You’re different from what I thought you’d be.”
The way he’s looking at me feels like walking out into the world the morning after a blizzard, everything hushed and glittering. It has this way of making my own thoughts quiet down, focusing on just this one thing.
I’m not sure how to put anything into words, so I just smile up at him. “That’s good, right?”
Jin nods, a bit of his hair falling forward with the action. “Yes.”
My attention returns to the snow outside once I see the tips of his ears going red. My smile is reflected in the glass, and my heart stutters as I see Jin’s mesmerized smile mirror my own. Locking eyes in the hazy reflection, I laugh a little.
“What’s so funny?” Jin asks, turning to look at me.
Shaking my head, I look down at my shoes before glancing up at him. “I’m probably not what you expected because I compared you to a cloud.”
He grins, looking down at his shoes before glancing up at me. “Yeah, that stung a little. I try very hard to maintain a nice figure, and yet here you are, comparing me with a big, fat fluffy thing.”
Laughing at his offended expression, I shrug. “I had to come up with something! It’s weird; for all the times I’ve dreamed about meeting my soulmate, I’ve never come up with what to say. That was the best I could do under pressure.”
“No, you did great, really.” He smiles easily now, feeling a bit more comfortable. “You’ve never really thought of what to say, though?”
I shake my head. “No, have you?”
Jin gives me a long look before nodding. “Oh yeah, definitely.”
“Let’s hear it, then.” I nudge him, Jin swaying on his feet as though I had shoved him across the room. I roll my eyes at his dramatic manner, loving every second of it.
“I’ll tell you under one condition.”
“What?”
Jin sighs, coming to stand behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stand straight up with goosebumps as he brings his arms around me, gently grabbing my hands and slowly bringing them up to cover my eyes.
“You’re not allowed to look at me while I say it.”
He keeps his hands over mine as they rest over my eyes, effectively shutting out the rest of the world. I keep in my laugh, not wanting to deter him.
“Ok, I won’t peek.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Good.” Jin’s voice is low and quiet as I nearly jolt out of my skin when I realize just how close he is. He waits to make sure my hands aren’t going to move from my eyes before he removes his hands, one coming to rest on the small of my back before he moves away. I’m left feeling suddenly cold, almost reaching out for him but reminding myself to stay still.
His voice comes from before me, just off to the right as he begins to speak. I can almost picture him leaning against the windowsill, watching me with those bright eyes.
“I’m not extraordinarily talented at a lot of things,” Jin starts, the sound of his voice immediately begging me to gravitate toward him. “I can’t paint you beautiful things or write you award winning songs, because sometimes the things that go on inside my head can’t be translated onto paper. I might not be able to sing for you the way you’d like, because my voice has a tendency to shake when I’m alone with someone I care about.”
Warmth fills my chest at his words even as I want to tell him that none of it matters. His lack of skill in all areas of life is only natural, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s better at it all than he lets on.
“I’ve been learning to play the piano, but I’m no Beethoven. If I mess up the keys it’s because I can feel you looking at me, and I just can’t help it.” Jin pauses, taking a shaky breath. “There might be times when I can’t be there for you, because I’m over on the other side of the world on some stage, but there are a few things that I can promise you I’m good at.”
Jin’s hands are warm as they wrap about my own, slowly pulling my hands away from my eyes. I blink them open, looking up to see my soulmate standing before me, still leaning up against the windowsill just as I pictured. His cheeks are pink as he looks down to where he holds my hands in his, making no move to let go.
“I can work the knots out of your shoulders when you have a long day at work, and I promise to remember your favorite meal. When we’re far away from each other, I’ll send you annoying messages every chance I get so you know that I’m thinking of you.” I chuckle a little, the sound bringing Jin’s eyes back up to my face. “I’ll keep the receipts for everything I ever buy you. The dishes won’t be left in the sink overnight, and I’m really good at listening.”
My vision begins to blur as tears threaten to spill over, but Jin doesn’t stop. The snow falling behind him frames him in a winter wonderland, and my mind burns the image into my memory.
“I’m not very good at much, but I’ll be good to you.”
Staring at him, I start to see the pieces that Jin hides from everyone else. I squeeze his hands, pledging to take the time to learn everything that there is to discover about him.
My eyes drift down to land on the single loose thread on the collar of his sweater, and I laugh even as a tear escapes me.
Reaching up to pluck the thread, I give my soulmate a wink which he immediately returns almost out of habit.
“You remember asking me how my first day of work was going?” When he nods, looking a bit confused, I continue. “I know what the honest answer is, now.”
Jin looks intrigued as he gives me a shy smile. “What is it?”
Stepping in a bit closer, I pull his arms around me before lightly feathering through his hair. “Pretty great.”
The last thing I see before Jin leans forward to plant a delicate kiss to my forehead are the clouds that have finally stopped snowing, no longer weighed down by their heavy burden.
Fin.
--
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isuckatreadinglol · 3 years
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Six of Crows Review
Alright, first book review on this blog...here we go: *spoiler warning, duh*
Book: Six of Crows Author: Leigh Bardugo
My Rating: 5/5
First off, this is the first YA fantasy I've ever read so I have no idea what I was expecting...and I fuckin loved it.
Second, I binge read this book in three days and it usually takes me a month to read anything ever so that's definitely saying something. I came for Kaz Brekker after watching Shadow & Bone on Netflix and stayed for the amazing plot, diverse and intricate characters, the incredible action and twists, and of course Kaz Brekker. The one thing that I loved was how fast paced this book went, and I genuinely could not stray far from the book because of how addicting it was. There was something in every chapter and you never got bored. The last part had taken the most time for me to complete because of how much action Leigh crammed in the last 60 pages, which made it a bit hard to follow along but it was still epic.
The Characters:
Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Matthias
"“What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?” “Knife to the throat?” asked Inej. “Gun to the back?” said Jesper. “Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina. “You’re all horrible,” said Matthias."
The most diverse set of characters I have ever met. There were 6 characters, and the POV's were constantly changing and at some point, while I read someone else's chapter I was worried about the other characters and anticipating the next chapters. This was honestly an amazing decision to tell this story and I never got sick of the characters (except maybe Matthias, sorry).
Not only does Leigh do an excellent job portraying trauma in her characters (especially Kaz), she also keeps the character's as diverse as possible, from Nina being a plus sized character with badass confidence to Wylan overcoming his dyslexia and even Inej being a brown character. Every character had their own stories and the flashbacks/backstories were always a pleasure to read through.
Kaz Brekker is a stone cold, morally grey, manipulative, and terrible criminal which of course...makes him an even better protagonist. He definitely rocks the Hot Boy Who Is Mean To Everyone Except That One Chick Because Of His Tragic Backstory trope.
"There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken."
He is an anti-hero with his own plans and goals, while also caring so much about his crew that he would do anything for them. I'm very excited to see his character develop with Inej in Crooked Kingdom as well as his relationship with her because I am too obsessed with the two of them. I also enjoyed how Leigh allowed Kaz to fuck up and make mistakes, showing that he wasn't just some perfect character that knew everything about everything, and reading his inner dialogue when he realized his fuck-ups felt refreshing. His backstory was very well written and very tragic (we get it he's emo). It felt so personal knowing why he was they way he was when he sealed himself off from the world. He's also drippy as fuck.
Inej Ghafa just radiates bad bitch energy and when Kaz called her "dangerous" I screamed "DAMN RIGHT". Her mental drive was beautifully written during her chapters, especially while she climbed the incinerator.
"The heat of the incinerator wrapped around Inej like a living thing, a desert dragon in his den, hiding from the ice, waiting for her. She knew her body's limits and knew she had no more to give. She'd made a bad wager. It was as simple as that. The autumn leaf might cling to its branch, but it was already dead. The only question was when it would fall...
Should she jump now or simply wait for her body to give?
Inej felt wetness on her cheeks. Was she crying? Now? After everything she'd done and had done to her?"
Most importantly, she was a raw character who pushed herself throughout the book not just for herself but for the rest of the crew. She was selfless but she was also incredibly strong, driven by her future. Inej is the most inspiring character in the book and I have fallen in love with her more times than I could count. (lowkey carried the team imma be honest)
JESPER FAHEY Y'ALL. My queer sharpshooter king. I think I related to him the most and I loved every chapter with him. Though, I felt like Jesper was treated more as a side character than a main one, especially since he was stuck with Wylan for the entirety of the heist but BOY WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS A FABRIKATOR...I might have also screamed. He was definitely the comedic relief and he always kept me laughing at his little comments. Excited to see him and Wylan get together and also hoping for more of Jesper's character.
"Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air."
“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”
Nina Zenik...bro. She is so powerful. The moment she took parem was *chefs kiss* and it was the most badass scene I had ever experienced. When I began reading her chapters I didn't really enjoy them but when the heist actually began her inner dialogue won me over completely. When she was with Jarl Brum I could not stop laughing at the things she was saying in her head, and even when things were intense she always had something to say which made her character come to life. Her personality is hilarious, and sarcastic and she's also so HOT like my gay ass was swooning. She is who I aspire to be, that is all.
Matthias Helvar. Personally, I didn't really like his character so much because of how stubborn and he was (and how many times I wanted to punch his stupid ass), however he was still a pretty cool character with some good moments in there. He demonstrated religious corruption well, and he definitely faced a lot of inner conflict due to the pressure of what he was taught when he was younger. His POVs were a little boring but I loved it when he called Kaz a demjin.
Wylan Van Eck was a super fun character to have around. I definitely enjoyed watching his character grow as he spent more time with the Dregs. I didn't love him as much as the big three (Kaz, Jesper, Inej) and don't have much to say on him except that I admired his strength throughout the last part, especially when confronting his father after hearing all the horrible things he said about his own son. Jesper defending him made me melt big time.
"He's smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."
I literally could not have asked for such a creative group of characters and to see them work together makes me feel like I'm part of a big, criminal family.
The Ships
The ships were a fun addition to the story and the best part was that they never overstepped the actual objective of the plot but rather worked with it to enhance the connections between each character.
Kaz and Inej: Let me just cry for a second.
"She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him."
"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all."
"I'm going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I'm going to get my girl."
This one hurt me. I am in love with these two and their relationship with each other makes it so much better. They are not meant to be together yet they are connected in so many ways. I did not think I would fall in love so easy, but here I am.
Matthias and Nina: I was not convinced by these two, especially with how weird their relationship was. They constantly seemed like they hated each other (valid) and some of their romantic scenes felt forced. In the end, I enjoyed seeing Nina grow on Matthias to wake his stubborn ass up. I swear that man refused to have feelings. Anyway, I still have mixed feelings on these two.
Wylan and Jesper: They are so cute. Like insanely cute. Like even I was blushing during their cute scenes. Their relationship isn't as developed yet so I am excited to see them in Crooked Kingdom.
Final Thoughts:
Representation? Check
Map? Check
Two maps?!? Fuck yeah
Amazing plot and worldbuilding? Check
Hilarious banter? Mhm
Great writing? Check
Well- written characters? 100%
Overall, this story will forever be my comfort book and I was impressed by the YA fantasy side of literature. It's hard to believe yet comforting that these characters are my age, makes me feel powerful. I loved every bit of this book and now I kinda wanna grab some friends and pull a heist.
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arniesmarmy · 2 years
Text
(Prompt list) (Masterlist)
Today is (finally) day 60(!) and we're doing prompt 65: Finite. Oh lord we're 3/5 of the way done.
I don't know if this needs a content warning, but if anyone's uncomfortable reading about unwilling sexualization feel free to skip this one! (Just to be clear, nothing is NSFW, I'm just throwing it out here just in case :)
Everything was finite in Eurydice's eyes. Food, shelter, time, relationships, everything ran out at some point.
The only thing she knew would never leave her was, well, herself. That she was stuck with, and she was okay with it.
She thought that, when she found Orpheus, that maybe she'd discovered something else that would remain permanent. Someone who would always love her, no matter what.
But lately she couldn't help but feel like she was wrong to think that.
Orpheus was a friendly guy, that Eurydice knew, but ever since they started dating she noticed that perhaps he was a little too friendly. There were always people looking at him, from girls calling him over to tell him just how handsome he looked to boys sneaking longing glances from behind their menus.
That alone wouldn't make Eurydice upset, but the way Orpheus reacted to all this... that was the hard part to swallow.
He just... took it. He smiled, he blushed, he waved, he laughed, he never stopped them. He never distanced himself from them and he never told people he had a girlfriend except when somebody asked.
Eurydice watched all this play out for several weeks, watching, waiting, for something to slip. Something along the lines of "Oh, Eurydice? She doesn't mean anything. She's just a nice thing to have around."
It had happened to her before, there was no reason it couldn't happen again.
But that moment never came. The weeks went on in this uneasy state of paranoia until one day Eurydice snapped.
It was a simple conversation at first, with Orpheus cleaning a mug behind the bar and Eurydice drumming her fingers on the counter. He was talking about some girl he had talked to yesterday, one who had taken a shine to his guitar playing. They had been on the subject for a half-hour now, with Orpheus going on and on about how nice she was.
"She asked for lessons, did you know that? I've never taught anybody before, but I think I'll do it, since she's offered to pay me. That was a really nice thing to do, in my opinion, offer to pay me to teach her-"
Eurydice nodded, resting her chin on her hand.
"Do you think she's pretty?"
Orpheus stopped, raising an eyebrow at her. "Huh?"
"Do you think she's pretty? Just wondering."
Orpheus bit his lip. "Well... I guess...?"
"You guess."
"I don't know!" Orpheus said, setting down the mug and resting his elbows on the counter. "Why do you want me to have an opinion on that?"
"I'm not saying you needed to have one, I was just asking," Eurydice said defensively.
Orpheus glanced around the bar nervously. "Are you mad at me?" he asked quietly.
"Mad?" Eurydice scoffed. "At you? No, I'm mad at..."
She trailed off, sighing.
"Well, yes, I am mad at you."
Orpheus' expression changed to one similar to a kicked puppy. "What did I do?"
"Nothing," Eurydice said simply. "That's the thing, you've done nothing."
"About what?"
"Them!" Eurydice snapped, gesturing at the customers. "Everyone in this building has hit on you at least once, and you've done nothing to stop it!"
Orpheus blinked at her. "They're not... no one's hitting on me..."
"Oh, don't play dumb with me," Eurydice hissed, whirling around in her seat and pointing to a blonde girl in the corner. "You see that girl over there? She was talking to her friends the other day about how nice your eyes were. And that guy-"
She pointed to a boy sitting with an older woman, playing dominoes on the table.
"Stared at your ass three days ago. And she, oh, she's my favorite-"
She gestured to a girl knocking back a shot while some other girls cheered her on.
"I was over by her table last week, and she said, out loud, so I could hear her, that I didn't deserve you, and that you were better off with a girl like her. Shall I go on?"
Orpheus said nothing, a look of pure horror in his eyes. Eurydice took this as a sign to continue.
"Let's not forget the group last Friday who talked very loudly on how long you would last in bed, or that one girl that left her address on the table as she left. Thank the gods I was here to snatch that up before you found it, or else you may have gone to see her-"
"Stop."
Eurydice shut her mouth at the sound of Orpheus' voice, quiet and scared. He was clutching the edges of the counter with white knuckles, his head bent down.
Eurydice's stomach sank.
He had no idea, had he?
"Orpheus-" Eurydice reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, but he swatted it away.
"I need some air," he breathed, taking off his apron and leaving the bar. Eurydice watched him go, burying her face in her hands.
What had she done?
It had been a few hours since Orpheus left, and Eurydice was starting to get a little worried.
Well, she was already worried, but now she was just terrified. She had hurt Orpheus, why would he want to come back?
At about a quarter to four, Eurydice sucked in her courage and went out to go find him, mentally rehearsing her apology as she went.
She found him in his usual spot, in the clearing in the forest. He was hugging his knees close to his chest, his eyes red and puffy.
"Orpheus?" Eurydice called, making his head lift up. His expression remained unchanged as she approached him, but she couldn't help but feel like he wasn't happy to see her.
"Hi," he said tonelessly as she sat down next to him.
"Hey," Eurydice said gently, bouncing her leg nervously. "Look, um... I'm sorry. That was a step too far. I shouldn't have... gone into detail like that."
"It's fine," Orpheus said. "I'm glad you brought it up, actually. Now I know the truth about all those people."
Eurydice tilted her head. "Orpheus-"
"I thought they were my friends, y'know? I thought they cared about me."
"Most of them still do," Eurydice said reassuringly. "It's not all of them who were talking behind your back like that."
Orpheus sighed. "I know, I know... it still hurts though."
He sniffed, stretching his legs out and running a hand through his hair.
"Did it really look like I was egging them on?" Orpheus asked. Eurydice bit her lip.
"Well... kinda, but that's not important right now-"
"It is, though," Orpheus corrected. "I-I could've lost you, and... I wouldn't be able to move on from that."
Eurydice nodded, smiling weakly.
"Welp, I'm afraid you're still stuck with me," she said lightly. Orpheus smiled back.
"Good," he said, resting his head on her shoulder. "You mean more to me than anyone else."
Eurydice blushed, kissing the top of his head in response. Orpheus took her hand and rubbed his thumb against her knuckles.
"I'm gonna have to set up some boundaries," he said.
"Yup."
"Make sure everyone knows we're serious."
"Make sure you're not uncomfortable."
"Right."
"Cuz I'll murder them if they do."
Orpheus laughed. "I'd advise against it, but thanks anyway," he said, kissing her cheek. Eurydice grinned, pleased to finally hear his laugh.
She didn't know why she ever doubted his love for her. As far as she could tell, it would last forever.
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
Text
Headcanons for being best friends with Klaus Hargreeves
Klaus Hargreeves x reader
warnings: drugs/alcohol, blood, smoking, guns, death mention
a/n:
prompt: anonymous: “Hi! Could you write a Klaus Hargreeves x best friend reader headcanon, just the random shenanigans they get into together, the fun they have together. No hidden romance or anything, just complete and utter platonic LOVE. If you have ideas for some angsty point in the headcanon feel free to put them in, I just want to be best friends with Klaus so bad and this is my way to fulfill it XD thank you so much!!”
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meeting each other pretty much the day he left the umbrella academy
he was cheering in the street, which you found absolutely amusing
“hey, what’s got you so happy?”
“i’m so glad you asked! today’s my eighteenth birthday, which means im free at last!”
“wow, well, happy birthday”
“i have the greatest idea, do you want to spend it with me?”
you didn’t have anything else to do, so why the hell not?
klaus was a wild child, anyone could have told you that
he paraded down the streets with you, arms interlocked as he skipped around town
you two were singing whatever tune came to mind
“where are you staying tonight?”
“wherever i please!”
“would you like to crash on my couch?”
“do you have a tv?”
“i do”
he agreed and made you watch movies with him until you both passed out
after that night, you two became best friends
he was a lot to handle, but you could take it
plus, you didn’t mind having some crazy unplanned fun, either
to be honest, klaus did have some rough patches, though
he’d call you from the police station time and time again, asking for you to come pick him up
klaus magically was able to talk them out of any charges, you thought only his sister could do that
oh! i forgot to mention, he opened up to you about his powers and the way he was raised
you had heard about the umbrella academy before, so you believed him
you were just surprised that he was one of ‘em
“yeah, yeah, dad said i’m supposed to ‘commune with the dead,’ but he has no idea how hard that actually is! the mental toll it has on a person!”
he told you about ben, who was actually present at the time, you just couldn’t see him
you and klaus went on to be friends for years, sharing so many memories together
some of them were drunken, you must admit
you weren’t a fan of klaus’s addiction, though, especially as time went on
“klaus, you need to pull it together. i really think you should go to rehab. just try it out?”
“but i don’t want to part with you for that long! i’ll be lost!”
“don’t worry, i’ll still be here when you get out”
patching him up when he got hurt, which was often
“aw, my shirt has blood on it. that’s too bad, i liked this one”
“you know, klaus, the blood gives you some character”
“you know what? you’re right!!”
he would go on the wildest tangents about his family sometimes, five superpowered siblings (+ vanya), a billionaire for a father, a robot for a mother, and monkey.......totally normal childhood
sometimes he’d see his sister, allison, on the tv and watch whatever it was she was in, he thought she was magnificent
he really did miss her sometimes
“you know, they were all the worst siblings you could ask for, but they are my family. i wonder how they’re doing right now...”
“do you want to visit them sometime, i can come with”
“oh, nonono, you don’t want to do that, we may try to kill each other!”
“i believe that”
him finding vanya’s book and reading it with you in tears
“i know, klaus, i know. she didn’t mean to hurt you, i’m sure. she made the wrong decision”
“she just told the world about very private family matters! what else was she trying to do?!”
klaus and you stuck together for a few more years, but the day he found out his dad died was....it was something
he was laughing, crying, popping open the champagne, crying some more, hugging you tightly, and singing happy songs
“y/n...will—will you come to the funeral with me? please?”
“yeah, i can do that”
the house he grew up in was HUGE
he insisted on giving you a tour while he snatched up trinkets to sell
“put it back...”
“but it’s mine!”
passing by his other siblings and awkwardly waving
“who are you?”
“excuse you, this is my very best friend in the whole wide world!”
okay, it was a lot more uncomfortable that you expected it to be
especially when “number one” dumped the ashes at the funeral and then “number two” started shit talking their dad, and klaus started laughing when they started fighting
passing his cigarette back and forth
okay, and then he suddenly had a 13 year old brother fall from the sky
“klaus, are you sure we were smoking a cigarette?”
“i’m never sure of anything anymore, darling”
“that’s reassuring”
the little brother did not give a flying FUCK who you were
smth about the apocalypse
babysitting klaus as he spiraled out of control bc of his family
uh, losing klaus several times
and then he got kidnapped
and then he time traveled to the 60s and fell in love???
he told you all about dave
“he sounds amazing, klaus. do you think you could conjure him?”
“that’s not a bad idea! i just need to stay sober!”
easier said than done
apocalypse apocalypse apocalypse
now you were all in on that
you never thought that your accompaniment to a funeral would lead to several shootings, murders, and traumas.......wow
you really felt out of place
his sistee ended the world. you know, vanya, the one you thought had no powers
so his brother, five, time traveled the lot of you to the 1960s, but you landed alone in texas
“klaus? klaus?! anybody???”
having to cope with the fact that you were going to have to acclimate to living in the past on your own, it could be worse
you could have died in 2019
you went on for another year or two trying to keep your head low
but you ran into a familiar face soon
“allison?”
“y/n?”
although you didn’t know each other very well before this, you were ecstatic to find someone in the same situation as you
soon everyone began finding each other and also the world was gonna end again
reuniting with klaus
sobbing while you hugged him
“y/n, oh, my god, i can’t believe it’s really you!”
“i missed you so much, this has been such a wild ride”
“welcome to the hargreeves family”
ben, who you couldn’t hear: “he wouldn’t shut up about you!”
this new timeline was decidedly not a vibe
“you know, the 60s fashion i can live with, but everything else? complete trash i would like to go home”
everyone had to protect you because you didn’t have powers and they actually kind of cared about you?
klaus would also absolutely lose it if you got hurt
he would tell you all about his cult every moment he got
also he let you hang out at his mansion
but there was no time to hang out, you guys REALLY had to fix the timeline in any way you could
after becoming fugitives, you went to a barn for an epic *final battle* where you died lived bc five changed the timeline
getting back to 2019 only to find that it was......not the same at all
“i think...i think we may have fucked up”
“yeah, i’m going to have to agree with you there”
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @cullens-stuff // @lotsoffandomrecs // @takethebladeawayfromme // @tessacabrera // @teenwaywardasgardian // @spidergirla5 // @sheridans-dynamos // @freya-xo // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @jay-is-groovy // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //
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onebizarrekai · 4 years
Text
Meme Waker: That Final Thing
okay aight here we go here’s the big idea compilation you’ve all been waiting for or something like that
since I’ve finally accepted meme waker’s inevitable fate, I’ll share what I’ve had laying around about it. prepare yourself for a wild ride.
first of all, what existed of the planned character key:
Nightmare = Link Dream = Aryll Cross = Tetra Ink = The Entire Pirate Crew Granny Gertrude = Grandma Horror = Quill Killer = Medli Color = Komali Dust = Makar XGaster = Tingle (yes, you read that right) Fresh = Fado (?) Geno = Laruto Blueberry = Niko Error = Ganondorf Giant Flying Chicken = Helmaroc King Core Frisk = The King XChara = Zelda
So XChara was going to fill the role of Zelda–basically, what was going to happen was that when Cross and Nightmare reached sunken Hyrule, which was replaced by the Omega Timeline, they encountered Core Frisk and with their magical Core Frisk powers that apparently exist, separated XChara from Cross’s body. Because Error was hunting him down for whatever villainous reasons (I dunno, maybe he wanted to find Overwrite or something), XChara was going to spend the near remainder of the comic hiding in the Omega Timeline from Error. It was a pretty neat reference to the fact that Error doesn’t know where the OT is.
Unsurprisingly, considering when I was working on this, Nightmare and Cross may have eventually started dating. They were going to kiss during a fight that involved them accidentally rolling down a hill and then likely spend the remainder of the comic referring to each other as boyfriends, with no further indication of romance between them. I never really mentally decided whether I was actually going to incorporate this or not.
In moments where someone needed to present a musical instrument, Cross was going to play a keytar.
There is a very high chance that the entire comic was going to end up being an elaborate prank set up by Ink and Error.
After being rescued from the Forsaken Fortress, Dream was going to get crossbows and… I dunno, maybe be useful with them sometimes. One consideration was that he was going to complain about being stuck in a glorified retirement home and request joining the party.
Nightmare was going to have a fake ID with the name “Nathaniel Meyer” on it.
When Nightmare eventually pulled up the Gaster Sword, he was basically going to do a magical girl transformation and get a new outfit. I was considering holding a contest where people would submit new designs for Nightmare before I realized that I may have wanted to do it myself. Meanwhile, Cross’s design change at the same time was going to pertain to the fact that he had such a hard time with his uniform that he just wanted to start wearing normal clothes.
When XChara was separated from Cross, it would indicate that Cross can’t use the hack knife anymore, so I had to think of a new weapon for him. I considered giving him arm mounts with knives in them for no reason other than being extra, but I was probably just going to end up going with a regular sword.
Nightmare and Cross were going to be mistaken for missionaries at some point due to Nightmare introducing Cross as his ‘companion’.
Nightmare’s fake ID is actually a driver’s license. Cross questions how he could get one when he’s only fifteen, and Nightmare responds with “what can I say? I live in the country.”
The Giant Flying Chicken was going to evolve into the Cyborg Giant Flying Chicken before Nightmare and Cross fought it. It was already a robot, but someone decided it would be fun to make it look more robotic for some reason. Maybe too many people tried to eat it.
Because Blueberry was going to replace Niko, that meant there was going to be a form of challenge that he would present to Nightmare and/or Cross. They were probably just going to play Dance Dance Revolution.
The dress that Granny Gertrude gave Nightmare was actually going to be infused with magical powers. Either Nightmare could only access the power of the Triforce when he’s wearing the dress, or it was going to be a piece of equipment that turned his sword into a fire sword.
Nightmare was going to come back to the Village of Old People to see that his grandmother had conquered it with capitalism.
Dragon Roost Cavern was going to be replaced with a Pokemon gym.
When Nightmare supposedly kicked Error’s ass at the end of the story, he was going to say something along the lines of “Because fuck you!” and it would be the first and only f-bomb in the whole comic. Nightmare would proceed to say that it was the first time he’d ever said fuck and that he felt dirty.
The Triforce of Courage was just going to be called the Triforce of Porridge for exactly zero reason.
Some incarnation of Buffmare was going to exist in the comic, but only in a sequence taking place in Nightmare’s imagination.
When Cross realized his backpack was missing, it was because I realized his backpack was missing. I forgot to draw it. I decided that the backpack actually fused with him to create a Zelda-style magic pocket.
Nightmare was going to try to control a seagull with the command melody, but he was accidentally going to start controlling Cross instead and make him run into a tree.
The Tree Spirit was going to hold official interviews for placeholder guardians in Dream and Nightmare’s absence. These placeholder guardians were going to be Neil, the overenthusiastic French furry, and Ccino, the local emo kid who is absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit, and exclusively because they were the only ones who applied for the job. Neil was going to have an ulterior motive of becoming Gaston’s successor.
Neil and Ccino were eventually going to ‘get together’, if you can even call it that, and for no other reason than shitpost reasons.
Nightmare may have had a showdown with the Giant Flying Chicken while riding the Great Charizard from Dragon Roost.
Another possible concept for whole story was that it was a bad self insert fic written by a younger version of Nightmare, but it’s really unlikely that I would’ve gone through with that.
Nightmare and Cross may have needed to go on a fetch quest to find Ink’s brush in the ocean because they accidentally lost it, but honestly that would’ve served nothing for the progression of the story. Because XGaster put a tracker on Ink’s brush, they were going to have to enlist his help.
and that about wraps up my notes, now let me throw what I had sitting around of a script draft–reading this was a trip because I forgot that literally 60% of it existed:
(inside the mountain)
Cross: holy shoe, EVERYONE has wings? how is this a thing??
Cross: I’m frickin jealous
Chief: Oh. You must be. Those guys.
Horror: yeah man, I enlisted their help to capture the Chicken Terror, but then they were all like yo, it’s a robot!

Chief: horror robot or not I told you that we weren’t going to capture the chicken terror for food because we’re not cannibals we don’t eat birds
Horror: but
Horror: we’re hardly even birds!
Chief: you know your job Horror. now get back to work. your actual work.
Horror: But… being the mailman sucks!

Chief: Do I need to confiscate your axe again?

Horror: OKAY FINE. I’M GOING. (flies away in a huff)
Chief: AND DO YOUR GODFORSAKEN LAUNDRY!
Chief: I apologize for that… so, how can I help you two today?

Nightmare: You guys have like, some pearl thing or something? We need to like, collect three of them in order to… save the multiverse… or something like that.
(Camera dramatically darkens.)
Chief: It’s just as the prophecy foretold…
Nightmare: oh god what
Chief: You see, young whippersnappers… legend tells of a great hero that would rise up and save a bunch of people in times of desperation that they don’t even realize are desperate. the great hero would travel far and wide in search of the Pearls of Shiny to finally retrieve a great weapon that he would use to strike down the evil that few knew existed. also the hero would have a sidekick wearing stupid clothes.
Cross: EXCUSE ME
Chief: THAT’S JUST WHAT THE PROPHECY SAID
Nightmare: okay, y’know, I’m just gonna roll with it. where can I get the pearl?
Chief: Well… that’s where the hard part comes in. You see, the pearl belongs to my son… but he’s been acting like an edgy teenager lately.
Nightmare: Great…
Cross: Is there a reason he’s being edgy? Maybe there’s something we can do to appease his hormones.
Cross: Free food works like a charm for me.
Chief: No, it’s more complicated than that. When one of our people becomes of age, they climb to the top of Charizard Island to receive a scale from the Great Charizard that will allow them to grow wings.
Nightmare: the… great charizard.
Chief: But lately, the Great Charizard has been throwing inexplicable temper tantrums. No one can get close to him anymore. And with my son being of age, he’s decently pissed off about this.
Chief: We’re thinking that the Great Charizard is displeased about something, and it is also causing our shortage of food.
Nightmare: Wait, you worship something named after a Pokemon?

Chief: Anyway, perhaps you two will be able to talk some sense into my son. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone his age that isn’t Horror or Killer.
Nightmare: What kind of names are those?

Chief: There’s a letter that I wanted my son to read, and I’ve given it to Killer to hold onto. You can go get it from him upstairs in the first room near the stairs, just tell him I sent you. He’s the little guy in the short shorts, you’ll probably recognize him when you see him.
Nightmare: Can’t you just call him here?

Chief: No, it is of upmost importance that you experience a basic fetch quest in order to become a great hero, because those fetch quests will become needlessly complicated before you even realize it.
Nightmare: ?????
Nightmare: I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not–
Cross: dude let’s just go get the letter
(scene transition)
(Killer dramatically turns around and it zooms in and says his name SSB style)
Nightmare: Wait, why do you get a dramatic introduction?

Killer: Dayum. New faces.
Nightmare: Why is everyone ignoring my questions??
Killer: (needlessly sensual voice) So, what brings you here? (walking closer)

Nightmare: (backs into wall) NO BUENO
Cross: You have a letter or something?

Killer: Oh. Yeah. Chief gave it to me for some reason. Yo, catch.
(He chucks it like a ninja star. Cross catches it between his hands in front of his face.)

Killer: Ey! You actually caught it!

Cross: I’m a trained ninja.
Killer: So like, who are you guys?
Cross: I’m Cross. He’s Larry.
Nightmare: NIGHTMARE. MY NAME IS NIGHTMARE.
Killer: Aw man, I know the feel of having a really lame name and wanting one that’s cooler.
Nightmare: No. Like. My name is actually Nightmare. My senile grandma called me Larry earlier today and this loser picked up on it.
Killer: There’s no need to lie. I understand.
Nightmare: I’M NOT LYING!
Killer: anyway make sure you get that letter to Color there’s something I have to do–
(Killer zips out the door behind them.)

Cross: what even the frick?

Nightmare: that guy freaks me the frick out.
Nightmare: literally. I felt like he was coming onto me.
Cross: you’re imagining things.
(SCENE TRANSITION)
 Cross: all right Nightmare I literally do not trust your ability to communicate with another person in a way that will make them feel inclined to give us something so just let me handle this okay
Cross: okay better yet wait outside the room
(Nightmare makes a less than amused face.)

Cross: it’s for the greater good
(Cross walks into the room.)
Cross: hi my name is Cross and
Color: LEAVE
(Cross immediately exits the room.)
Cross: this is a lost causeNightmare: what
Cross: go make him bleed with your words
Nightmare: dude isn’t this the part where we give him the frickin letter
Cross: (pauses) :o
Cross: OH RIGHT
(Cross takes the letter and goes back into the room, leaving the door open)
Cross: oh yeah this letter is for you it’s from your dad or something
Color: Oh, wow. Can’t even be bothered to talk to me in person.
Color: Give me that thing.
(Color stares at the letter. It’s actually a letter from Killer filled with really bad pickup lines and other really creepy compliments.)
Color: What the hell, you said this was from my dad!
Cross: We thought it was–??
(Killer teleports in behind them, scaring the shit out of Nightmare)

Killer: Suuuup~
Color: Killer I swear to god.
Killer: Here’s the actual letter, though you might not be happy with it.
(He flings it at Color and it lands in front of him. He reads it over, rolls his eyes and throws it in the trash.)
Cross: So uh… I don’t know what the letter says but apparently we’re prophesied heroes collecting a bunch of pearls to save the multiverse and the pearl you have is–

Color: Can everyone just get out of my room already?
(everyone just leaves)
Nightmare: What even was the point of that stupid fetch quest?
Killer: Oh yeah, can you guys help me with something? Just a smalllll favor. And I can’t ask anyone else because I’m not supposed to do it.
Killer: I need some strong, reliable people…
Nightmare: Don’t touch me.
Killer: It’s just a small favor! And I mean actually small, it’ll take like two minutes.
Nightmare: I have doubts about this.
Killer: Great! Meet me out back by the spring.
Nightmare: Wait which side is the back–
(Killer is gone)
Nightmare: Cross which side is the back.
Cross: I don’t know??
(after spending twenty minutes going through the various exits trying to figure out how to get there)
Killer: What the hell took you so long.
Nightmare: Directions would’ve been helpful. There wasn’t even a freaking map anywhere in there!
Killer: The hollow is like the size of a middle class house! How difficult could it be to find out where to go?!
Nightmare: IT’S A DOME THERE IS NO BACK
Cross: OKAY, what matters is that we’re here, what the heck do we do now.
Killer: Okay, okay. (steps backwards) Look, if you look around here, it’s all a dried up spring. The Great Charizard was throwing a tantrum, a boulder fell down and it coincidentally plugged up the spring for the third time this week, which is literally our main source of fresh water. I’m honestly getting sick of this so I’m going to climb the mountain and see what’s going on because everyone else is too scared to do it.
Nightmare: God. You’re not gonna make us go with you, are you?

Killer: Oh, no way. I just need you to throw me up that cliff over there so I can get into the cavern that leads up the mountain.
Nightmare: Can’t you fly?
Killer: Not thirty feet straight up. Do these noodle arms look like they can manage that?

Nightmare: Whatever. But quick question. How the hell does one throw a person.
Killer: I weigh like fifty pounds. It shouldn’t be that hard. Also, if you’ve noticed, the wind is rapidly changing directions, so you’ll probably have the best effect throwing me when the wind is blowing that way.
Nightmare: Mhmm. Sure. Let’s just get this over with.
(Nightmare crouches down and Killer fuckin walks onto his shoulders)
Nightmare: Hey! Watch it!
(some way or another he throws Killer and Killer barely makes it to the cliff, face planting into the ground)
Nightmare: Well I guess that worked.
Killer: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!
Nightmare: YOU’RE WELCOME! COULD’VE JUST USED A DAMN LADDER!
Killer: NOBODY OWNS A LADDER HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN FLY!
Nightmare: Then how the frick do people get up this cliff?!
Killer: THERE’S NORMALLY A BRIDGE BUT IT BROKE AND PROBLEMS LIKE THESE ARE PRECISELY WHY I’M CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH! ALSO I’M LEAVING BYE. (turns and leaves)
(cricket cricket)
Cross: Nightmare we should probably follow him.
Nightmare: No.
Cross: What else do we have to do. We solve their problem, Color can get his wings and then he stops being emo and gives us the pearl out of the goodness of his heart.
Nightmare: I’m not risking my life for this! If that guy is willing to do it himself I’m going to let him do it!
Cross: Dude, look at that guy. He looks about at capable fixing whatever the problem is as Ink is at providing emotional support. If this happens to be anything like a video game, we’re the only ones capable of solving anything. Besides, what else are we supposed to do? Hang around and wait for something to happen?
Nightmare: All right, fine. But how are we supposed to do something? It’s not like we can climb up a thirty foot cliff.
Cross: No, but we can swim, right?Nightmare: What?
(Cross draws a line around the rock covering the spring. It dematerializes into red squares and water starts to spew out of the spring. They both run back towards the side and climb up the cliff they came from)
Nightmare: Dude, what the hell was that?
Cross: I can draw lines around things with my sword and they do that and go away.
Nightmare: … do they go somewhere?

Cross: I dunno.
(Meanwhile in Xtale, a boulder slams into the floor and almost crushes Fresh because of course he’s there)
(The spring fills up)

Nightmare: You know I’m starting to have second thoughts about this swimming thing seeing as how I’ve never actually–(Cross kicks him into the water)

(LATER)

Nightmare: YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST DROWNED
Cross: You’re exaggerating.
Random Dude: STOP RIGHT THERE!

Nightmare: who.
Random Dude: YOU AREN’T GOIN ONE STEP PAST THIS POINT! YOU’RE LIGHT YEARS FROM FACING BROCK!
(nightmare squints)
(comic suddenly goes into a battle sequence)
Nightmare: whoa whoa what the hell is happening
Cross: oh my god it’s pokemon NIGHTMARE IT’S POKEMON
Nightmare: I DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON CROSS THREATEN HIM
(Random Dude sent out MEWTWO)
Cross: DEAR GOD
Cross: LISTEN THERE’S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING WE’RE NOT TRAINERS WE DON’T HAVE POKEMON
Random Dude: tHEN WHY ARE YOU IN A POKEMON GYM HUH
Cross: Uh… touring?
Random Dude: OH
Random Dude: I SEE
(The Random Dude returns his Mewtwo.)
Random Dude: THERE HAS BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING
Cross: Say uh, you didn’t happen to see a scrawny dude with wings pass through here, did you?
Random Dude: Oh yeah, he went into the next room and took the elevator to the top.
(silence)

Nightmare: Why are there always elevators.
(two seconds later, they reach the elevator and there’s a dude standing in front of it)

Nightmare: um excuse me we need to use the elevator
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: excuse me I said move
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: HELLO
Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do
Nightmare: MOVE ASSHOLE
Cross: I think it’s a preprogrammed NPC.
Nightmare: UAGGGGHHHHH
(Nightmare throws himself into the person, but he slams into the STEEL WALL OF NPC)
Nightmare: CROSS TELEPORT HIM AWAY
Cross: wait are you serious what if that freakin kills him I don’t know where these things go
Nightmare: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF HE’S AN NPC
(Cross shrugs. He draws a line around the NPC and the NPC disappears)
(one elevator ride later)
Nightmare: (chokes) oh god
Nightmare: the altitude
Cross: nightmare this island is still lower than ink’s house.
Nightmare: PSYCHOLOGICAL ALTITUDE
(fwip)
Cross: Oh look, it’s that guy from earlier.
Nightmare: Got captured somehow. Why am I not surprised?
Killer: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU GUYS
(A really buff guy abruptly slams into the ground)
Buff Guy: FEAR MY WRATH, FOR I AM BROCK! LEADER OF ALL THINGS ROCK HARD
Nightmare: Look man, we really don’t have time for this, just let the shota hoe go, we’re just checking up on the huge-ass Charizard up there.
Killer: excuse me
Brock: I AM THE LOYAL GUARDIAN OF THE GREAT CHARIZARD! You can only pass if you defeat me!

Cross: what the hell is even happening anymore
(Loud gym battle music as the gate at the entrance of the clearing slams shut)
Nightmare: LOOK WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS WE DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON
(Brock war cries as he sends out a very anime geodude)
Nightmare: can someone please tell me I’m hallucinating all of this
Brock: WELL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE POKEMON, YOU’LL HAVE TO USE A RENTAL
Cross: What? But rental pokemon always suck.
Brock: YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH SOMEHOW! AND BECAUSE YOU’RE SMALL CHILDREN YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T PROVE IT THROUGH SUMO WRESTLING.
Nightmare: I’m fifteen!
Cross: Nightmare I think you’re missing the point.
Killer: Good god, just let them through and let me out of here, they’re the heroes of prophecy.
Brock: PROPHECY
Brock: GOODNESS ME I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT
(Brock returns his geodude)
Brock: YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING
Nightmare: That would have worked?
Brock: BUT! IF YOU WANT TO FREE THIS TINY FELLOW HERE, YOU MUST COMPLETE A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE! FOR YOU SEE, HE TRIED TO PASS THROUGH HERE WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION!

(Killer rolls his eyes. Nightmare squints, literally pulling a notebook out of his shirt. He writes something in it, walking up to Brock and holding it up. It says “Let the guy out of jail you dick”)
Brock: AHA
Brock: WELL
Brock: I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT
(He stomps his foot on the ground and the bars in front of Killer go up)
Brock: DON’T BE CAUSING TROUBLE NOW KIDS

(He ascends back into the sky)

Cross: I’m not even going to ask. That entire conversation felt like a drug trip.
(Killer dramatically throws himself onto Nightmare)

Killer: I knew you would come around, my knight in–
Nightmare: Why did I assume that you had become any less creepy in the last ten minutes. Why did I even do that?

Killer: Because your heart told you to.
Nightmare: Dear god stop touching me or I will literally pick you up and slam you into the floor.
Killer: Feisty. Anyway, I figured out why the Great Charizard is freaking out all the time. His tail is hanging down into the room below him and something is chewing on it like all the time.
Cross: What? Then why doesn’t it just, I dunno, pull its freaking tail out of the room like a reasonable creature? Or maybe take care of the problem on its own?
Killer: The Great Charizard is like a five year-old. It’s self aware, but it expects all of its problems to be solved by everyone else and throws tantrums when that doesn’t happen.
Nightmare: Well that’s stupid. Why does everyone act like it’s some holy being then?
Killer: Because it’s a massive, terrifying dragon that can breathe fire?
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ok unfortunately this is where the script ends but I hope you enjoyed that
oh yeah, and some extremely old art that I found:
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as well as a brief consideration to make the characters human before deciding that I just didn’t want to work on the comic anymore.
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basically you will notice that most of this doesn’t have a solid outline, and you’d be right: I never actually planned it that meticulously. I mostly just winged it and threw stuff in over the course of time and never even really planned anything close to a definitive ending beyond “maybe it was a prank”. sorry if this is like… anticlimactic, but it’s all I could find!
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acousticcheeze · 3 years
Text
Here's my 100 questions for my OC thing!
My OC is Laureli, a 6'2 Altmer trying to make his way in Skyrim
1. What do they smell like?
Whatever alchemy ingredient he’s been working with, really. Lavender is what he smells like most often, though.
2. What is their voice like?
A smooth-ish medium pitch Altmer voice that has elements of calm and irritation.
3. What is their biggest motivator?
Helping others through his alchemy. He wants to improve medicine for Skyrim, as well as all of Tamriel.
4. What is their most embarrassing memory?
He had a whole scientific presentation one year that ended up being completely wrong. He got humiliated in front of everyone.
5. How do they deal with/react to pain?
Winces at it, curses, and then gets to treating the problem.
6. What do they like to wear?
Functional clothes that keep him warm and allow him to carry alchemy ingredients in his pockets.
7. Which of their relationships have impacted them most positively?
The relationships with some of the people he’s helped over the years. It gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment knowing that he could help people, save people.
8. What’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten?
He’s an alchemist...in Skyrim...I’m pretty sure there are a few contenders… (giants toe, large/small antlers, ectoplasm, the list goes on)
9. Describe the way that they sleep.
Normal side sleeper. Prefers to sleep on his left side.
10. What is their favorite food/kind of food?
Horker stew. It’s actually way better than he thought it would be.
11. What do they feel most insecure about?
If what he’s doing is good enough. He has big problems with perfectionism that still persist with him even after leaving Summerset.
12. How do they like to dress?
Robes with an alchemy enchantment and a hood.
13. How do they react to feelings of guilt?
He tries to shake them off, but has panic attacks and whatnot sometimes as a result of them.
14. How do they react to/deal with betrayal?
Is completely shattered by it. He’s dealt with this so many times before, though, so he keeps his cards close to his chest.
15. What is their greatest achievement?
Creating potions that help much more than the average cure disease potion would, as well as all sorts of other concoctions. Also, he’s created a sort of disinfectant and is working on a hand sanitizer.
16. What are they like when they’ve gotten too little sleep?
Cranky, cranky, cranky.
17. What are they like when they’re drunk?
Drunk? Oh no no no no Laureli does not drink (and even if he did he’d be out real quick)
18. What kind of music do they enjoy?
He isn’t really into music, but he enjoys the songs the bard plays at the Bannered Mare.
19. Are they right or left handed?
Right, but is practicing with his left hand too in case something happens to his right.
20. Fears?
Death and failure, mostly.
21. Favorite kind of weather?
As the sun rises and there’s dew all over the grass, the light reflecting through each drop.
22. Favorite color?
The color of eyes. Or, more specifically, the hundreds of little pinpricks of different colors inside of eyes, It’s really quite fascinating.
23. Do they collect anything?
OH YEAH. So many different alchemy ingredients and random stuff to be used in his next works-
24. Do they prefer either hot or cold weather more?
Cold, which is good since he lives in Skyrim.
25. What is their eye color?
Chartreuse (like most Altmer)
26. What is their race/ethnicity?
Altmer
27. Hair color?
White
28. Are they happy where they are currently?
Yup. Breezehome is small, but manageable, and Whiterun is a decent hold to live in.
29. Are they a morning person?
Yes. He gets tired around 9 and can’t stay up past 12.
30. Sunrise or sunset?
Sunrise.
31. Are they more messy or more organized?
Very organized. Again, he’s a perfectionist.
32. Pet peeves?
People touching his things as well as people inserting themselves into his business.
33. Do they own any objects of significant personal importance?
An amulet of Talos a Nord gave him. He hadn’t gotten the chance to learn much about Talos at home, and he found it very interesting talking to the local Nords about their beliefs. That amulet reminds him of his first day in Skyrim, the first day of his new life.
34. Least favorite food?
Taffy treats, or anything with that sort of texture and stickiness that can get stuck to his teeth very easily.
35. Least favorite color?
Very pale green. It looks gross.
36. Least favorite smell?
Death. (Yes, death has a smell)
37. When was the last time they cried?
Recently.
38. Were they with anybody the last time they cried?
No. Oh Auri-el, no no no no. He cries alone and he makes sure of it.
39. Tell us about one of the times they got injured?
Was in a fire when he was younger, he has a burn going up the inner leg on his right leg.
40. Do they have any scars?
Only mental ones. (and the burn scar on his leg)
41. Do they struggle with any mental health issues?
Perfectionism, past abuse, self hate, among others.
42. Do they have any bad habits?
Picking at his nails. He knows it makes them hurt and get bloody, but sometimes he just can’t help it.
43. Why might someone dislike them?
He can be very rude if he’s working, but to be fair, it is really annoying to be bothered in the middle of your work.
44. Why might someone love them?
Who wouldn’t love an overworked science boye? But in all seriousness, if he loves someone, he will be very caring towards them and is also just great listener. Tries not to care any more though because of personal trauma.
45. Do they believe in ghosts?
Yup. He’s heard of people’s encounters with them. Honestly, you’d be stupid to not believe in them.
46. Is there anyone they would trust with their lives?
At this point? No. Farkas later down the line? Yes.
47. Are they romantically interested in anyone?
Farkas, but we ain’t talking about that yet~
48. Are they dating/married to anyone?
No
49. Do they like surprises?
No. Please do not surprise this poor man he will stagger back and crash into everything.
50. When is their birthday?
9th of Hearthfire (September 9th)
51. How do they usually celebrate their birthday?
He takes a few seconds to acknowledge it and then gets on with his work.
52. Do they have any family?
Yup! A Mom, a Dad, a younger sister, and a male cousin that lives nearby (he’s in the Thalmor and the whole family has very Pro-Thalmor views)
53. Are they close to their family?
HAH- no~
54. What is their MBTI type?
INTJ (Damn this list for making me look up stereotypes for this. Honestly I hate the MBTI system so much-)
55. What is their zodiac sign?
Virgo
56. What Hogwarts House would they be in?
Ravenclaw
57. What D&D alignment are they?
If lawful chaotic good was a thing then yes
58. Do they ever have nightmares? If so, what about?
Yes, but they are often so tangled up that it’s hard to get any real meaning from them.
59. What are their views on death?
“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’ll be fine-” Hopes that he’ll be fine but is really scared about it.
60. What is something that they’re sure to laugh at?
Bad science puns. He will stifle a chuckle before telling you how bad your joke was.
61. When bored, how do they pass time?
This man does not get bored. He will always find something alchemy related to study or look into.
62. Do they enjoy being outside?
Yes. Laureli loves the Skyrim weather (for the most part. Places like Dawnstar and Winterhold suck)
63. Do they have an accent?
Yes. He has the typical Altmer accent.
64. Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, what is their first reaction?
“Why is this here? This isn’t mine.”
65. If they knew they were going to die, what would they do/say
He would probably take too long deciding and die before he could do/say anything.
66. How do they feel about sex?
Sex repulsed asexual.
67. What is their sexuality?
GAY
68. Do they become squeamish at the sight of blood?
Nope.
69. Is there anything that they find really gross?
He’s seen so much it would take a lot to surprise him here.
70. Which TV Trope(s) best describes them?
Grumpy scientist with no people skills.
71. Do they enjoy helping people?
Yes, definitely
72. Are they allergic to anything?
Not really. (Lucky)
73. Do they have a pet?
No
74. Are they quick to anger? What are they like when they loose their temper?
Nope, unless you press his buttons. His anger is pretty much “What in the name of Auri-el is wrong with you?! Don’t touch my equipment!!”
75. How patient are they?
Very...until you hit his limit. Then he gets passive aggressive.
76. Are they good at cooking?
Not really. He can be good at it, he just chose not to learn in favor of working on his projects. Can make enough to live on, though.
77. Favorite insult? Do they insult people often?
He doesn't have a favorite insult (he rarely insults people).
78. How do they act when they’re particularly happy?
Talking fast, pacing, flappy hands.
79. What do they do when they learn about other people’s fears?
Try to avoid bringing those fears up around them and avoiding making fun of them. If their fear is nearby, he will either tell them or take care of it. (which is good because Farkas is scared of spiders)
80. Are they trustworthy?
Yes, but you have to be a very certain kind of person to work with him.
81. Do they try to hide their emotions? Are they good at it?
Sometimes, especially romantic feelings. Romantic attraction? Nope, not possible- (It totally is; he’s in denial)
82. Do they exercise regularly?
With all of the walking he does around various holds, yes.
83. Are they comfortable with the way they look?
Yes. He’s a perfectionist with many things, but has learned to let go a bit more when it comes to his appearance. He still will take ages to get ready, though.
84. What are some physical features that they find attractive on people?
Tattoos, braids, basically everything you’d see on a typical Nord. It’s so different from his home and he’s completely enamored.
85. What kind of personalities do they find attractive?
Himbo nord men. Sweet morons basically.
86. Do they like sweet foods?
Not really. Sweet foods do have their place, but he isn’t wanting to get any cavities, so he tries to limit his sugar. (Especially since Altmer live 200-300 years aprox)
87. What is their age?
52 (~20s for an Altmer)
88. Are they tall or short or somewhere in between?
Tall, but about average for an Altmer
89. Do they wear glasses or contacts?
No, but if he did he would have half-moon spectacles.
90. Do they consider themselves attractive?
Not really. He doesn’t really think anyone is attractive. (Well, except for Nord himbos, but he doesn’t know that until he meets Farkas)
91. What is their sense of humor like?
Practically nonexistent, but when there is humor it’s mostly dry and sardonic.
92. What mood are they most often in?
That sort of focused work mode you get in when you’re really concentrating, as well as somewhat-sociable-but-still-kind-of-tired-and-grumpy
93. What kinds of things anger them?
People messing up his equipment. Oh sweet Auri-el, if you touch his things he will explode. Also, he hates the racism that the Thalmor promote. (He hates racism in general, but he hates the Thalmor’s views the most).
94. Outlook on life?
“It sucks, but I do find quite a bit fascinating and I’ll help where I can.”
95. What kind of things make them sad/depressed?
His perfectionism, how lonely he knows he is, and more.
96. What is their greatest weakness?
Again, his perfectionism, as well as having his work dictate more in his life than he should.
97. What is the greatest strength?
His brain. He remembers small details extremely well, and is practically an encyclopedia when it comes to alchemy.
98. Something that they regret?
How awful he used to be to everyone back home. He got a lot of pushback on his dreams and who he was, so he lashed out. Even though there wasn’t much he could do there, he still regrets hiring his family and wants to try at a relationship again with them (lol good luck).
99. Biggest accomplishment?
How is this different from “Greatest Achievement”?
100. Create your own! (Why is his alchemy so different from the norm?)
Because he’s trying to do something much more along the lines of modern medicine as opposed to just potions.
101. (Bonus!) Why is he in Skyrim?
Because it’s rather lacking in the medicine department compared to the other provinces, so he decided his talents would be best used there. Obviously, his family protested, but he went anyways.
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nissakii · 3 years
Text
How similar are Kageyama and Todoroki?
Despite the many differences between Kageyama and Todoroki, those two are as well much more similar than you think.
We already covered Bakugo and Oikawa, Deku and Hinata and now follow up with our icy-type characters.
Nissa already wrote about both characters shortly in her BNHA Analysts Shuffle and Haikyuu Sentinel Shuffle, but this will not be about their personality types but a general overview about their similarities, Nissa did a full personality analysis on Kageyama and sometime soon one on Todoroki will follow as well.
To not make you wait any longer let’s get started with our favourite stoic boys and what connects them!
Dense
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When we take a look at both Kageyama and Todoroki the first thing that someone would guess is that compared to their abilities that both of them are pretty quick-witted.
Sadly, this is not the case…
Academically speaking Kageyama is not a student that succeeded in it, showing that he wasn’t able to get into Shiratorizawa due to his bad grades unlike Todoroki who is ranked 5th in his class. Yet this is not the aspect showing how dense or quick-witted someone is since grades are not an indicator of what a person is really capable of.
Both Kageyama and Todoroki are unaware of the things happening around them, as they do not realize how the other party might feel when they do or say something. Both are shown to be very observant and have a quick decision-making mind when it comes to their speciality, but everything out of that area is just beyond their understanding.
For example we have Kageyama who often says what is in his mind or how he perceives things not thinking about what the other person might feel about it, which later backlashes at him and even surprises him in a way why that person would be possibly mad.
One case would be that he is not aware of the fact that he hit Oikawa’s soft spots and continued to aggravate and hurt him until Oikawa had lashed out on him, which made him think that Oikawa has a bad personality yet he was the one unintentionally pushing his buttons due to his dense demeanor and inconsiderate way of handling someone else’s emotions, another example would be at the beginning with Hinata.
In Todoroki’s case this applies too, where he doesn’t understand what a person really might feel due to his actions or words. His examples would be firstly Bakugo, who he obviously and indirectly looked down upon by not giving him the fight he demanded and due to him taking everything literally while Bakugo tries to get his attention Todoroki does not react the way others want him to since he is not aware of their emotional state.
Secondly, Yaoyorozu  and the practical exam towards the end of season two. While she had a lot of self-doubts after losing miserably in the sport festival arc, she still had a lot on her mind and wanted to help Todoroki as much as she could yet he didn’t really understand the fact that she needed confirmation from someone she respected, here Todoroki.
Very late when they were about to fail the exam and saw the obvious fear and anxiety that Yaoyorozu held he thought back on her behaviour and understood that she had something to say.
Geniuses
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We have them in every medium and in our real world too, the kind of people who have overwhelming abilities that only get even more overwhelming the further they rise.
And today we have two of them, the volleyball prodigy and the one who wields two powerful quirks effortlessly.
As shown it doesn’t take them a lot of time to improve vehemently when they actually focus and put their mind on a certain goal. Unlike their peers they set their life for that very goal, making it the only thing that matters to them when it’s endangered in a way.
Todoroki is easier to spot in that category, as the son of the number two hero Endeavor who got into UA through recommendations, all eyes are fixed on him as soon as he enters the stage. Being able to use both ice and fire quirks that he inherited from his parents makes him one of the most watched students that people expect a lot from.
Yet his quirk are not the only thing that makes him a genius since it’s something he inherited but his way of using it in all kinds of ways, continuously over a large period of time and on top of that he moves while planning out a strategy in his mind are the assets that make Todoroki so astonishing. It’s not that he sits down and is amazing just like that, he puts much effort mentally and physically to improve and those that in a speed that is unmatched to his other peers, as he started to use his fire quirk very late he still was able to control it in a short period of time and even started adjusting it for special moves.
On the other hand we have Kageyama, the one known for his eerily accurate tosses that he can adjust and calculate so quickly that other people just can’t believe that especially someone at his age could do such a hard thing.
Iwaizumi Hajime, his former senior in Kitagawa Daiichi who used to play in the same team as him, described Kageyama as a prodigy that surfaced and that his sense for things was overwhelmingly spectacular in Chapter 60.
Even Oikawa mentioned to Iwaizumi at the end of the practice match in season one episode six that when it comes to tosses he cannot match Tobio, which means the best setter of the prefecture sees much more potential in his junior that he is sure that someday he will surpass him, even early that is.
Many others have commended that Kageyama would also be the only one who could pull off the freak duo quick attack that is only possible due to his perfect timing and pin-pointing, he is also able to apply new techniques he sees very quickly as seen when he replicated Oikawa’s dump. Aoba Johsai’s coach as well explained that he wanted Kageyama to join their school to have him in his team but also see many flaws in him, yet he said that at some point Kageyama’s natural abilities are simply unmatched.
Socially inept
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Now let’s come to the part where it’s about their social skills and the relationships they have started with.
Which let’s say… is not as astonishing as their ability because if you take both of them only in view on that aspect they surely lack a lot of it, one could also call them socially inept.
Both Kageyama and Todoroki are High Schoolers in their first year, despite their worlds being completely different and also their backgrounds there are many comparable aspects that makes you wonder how they could have survived in society if not for their skills?
Why would I proclaim such a thing you might ask?
Well, Kageyama and Todoroki may seem like well-liked and popular characters among the fandom yet in the anime they are a part of a big society in which they are seen like every other person. We on the other hand watch both their journeys as a third person or a bystander.
Watching them closely and especially how they interact with the people around them gives the most insight into how socially capable those two are separated from their usual role they have to play as either setter or the son of number two hero Endeavor.
First of all both of them seem to have bad relationships with other people before they actually started to develop through other characters, for example Hinata and Oikawa, or Deku and Inasa. One big indicator would be the nickname Kageyama was given since middle school King.
While others think that such a nickname might honor him in a way, or like Oikawa described in chapter 53 he thought it was an esteemed nickname, it turned out that as he went to watch one of his matches he saw the real meaning behind it.
And also the strengths that are also his weaknesses, the solitary king who rules the court by himself wanting everyone to match his pace instead of considering to match theirs, others even called him dictator.
In the end he even was left-behind by his team just to toss… to nobody behind him since his pressuring and egotistical behaviour concluded that after a long time of trying to keep up with it since he is so skilled they finally gave up after becoming fed up with his worsening dictatorship on them.
Which is also seen as he entered Karasuno High and told Hinata he will only toss to people he thinks worthy and important in order to win, making a lot of enemies from the get-go in his new fresh High School start.
In some of the matches it’s seen that he and Tsukishima are not on good terms either since the former is someone who doesn’t like to be bossed around and the latter gets easily provoked by him. He doesn’t understand simple social cues either and takes most of the things as either insults or ignores them since he doesn’t understand them until his seniors have to explain to him how he should work out things and what he does need to improve, not skill-wise but in his communication and interactions.
On the other hand we have Todoroki who is just like Kageyama but not as worse as him in that aspect. He simply didn’t care about the people around him as he focussed on himself rather than social interactions and playing friends as he called it in the school festival arc.
Not being able to recognize other people’s feelings as he turned away from the people around him and rather was stuck in his own world he tried to fight in.
Yet even later when he had a new fresh start after the sport festival arc, it’s seen that Todoroki is still socially inept in many ways, he doesn’t understand social cues as well sometimes he wonders what he said to others which could have made them angry.
He takes most of the things people say to him literally as he even misunderstood Midoriya and Lida when they were together at the hospital, blaming himself and wondering if he is cursed already wanting to distance himself from them after they joke around about their arms.
But thankfully they found the right people to make them develop more into people who try to understand those around them.
Narrow-minded alike
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Pride and a narrow-mind connects those two as well.
Ever saw a person so stubborn and lost in their own world and goals that they do not even realize where they are heading to or what is happening around them?
Two examples of exactly two people who match that description, Kageyama Tobio and Todoroki Shoto.
In that both of them really don’t differ in any way beside the implementation of how it is presented.
Especially towards the beginning of both serieses that character-trait is depicted heavily, as we see both of them fixated on winning, surpassing others and becoming better over a short period of time making them even trample over other people’s feelings directly and indirectly.
They live in their own world where they have to solve their problems all by themselves and see everyone else as either a stepping stone or obstruction.
Stubbornness can be good in some situations but in their case it’s a critical condition that is criticised by close people and strangers, since they start to lose themselves in their bad habits as they recklessly do as they think is the right way to proceed.
Kageyama would be a prime example as he even says those words harshly to his peers that if he could, he would set, toss, spike and receive the ball all by himself. He also criticises others and deems them as slackers or not being serious just because they cannot match his skills instead of trying to widen his perspective on matters.
There is also his strong sense of pride that doesn’t let things go so simply one example would be that he immediately tried to replicate Oikawa when he scored a point in a way that would humiliate him, in his eyes.
Another  scene was when Hinata proposed to try to hit the ball by himself and learn to spike on his own instead of relying on Kageyama only, which made him irritated as he rejected the idea instantly, telling him their former way of handling the quick attack was efficient enough.
Todoroki as mentioned doesn’t really differ as he is fixated on beating his father by becoming the best hero with only his ice quirks, rendering him to only see revenge and rage in everything he does considering his quirks. It leaves him to forget the wonderful things that his mother told him and also made him lose the sense of himself. Until Deku had to wake him up and tell him the most obvious thing which he couldn’t see in front of him.
But that’s not the only scene where we could see that trait clearly, another one would be at the Provisional Hero License Exam. Inasa who is someone Todoroki couldn’t understand at all and disliked due to him comparing Shoto to Endeavor made him lose himself in his former habits of showing him that he isn’t like his father at all. It concluded into him not getting his license as he lost his senses and even caused the people around him to be in danger due to his reckless behaviour.
Silence before storm
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Connected to the former paragraph, the seemingly silent pair has their own storm going on if you push the right buttons.
Despite being usually very calm and silent about certain things they can become easily aggravated in other situations.
Just like mentioned before Todoroki only needs to hear his father’s name to become a bit louder or even erupt into either a statue of ice or an inferno of flames like seen in season two and three.
Which goes as well when he is excited and in adrenaline he can sound much louder and aggressive in comparison to his usual self.
For Kageyama this goes as soon as Hinata pushes his buttons, he immediately shoots some moron or dumbass when he is around and does anything close to messing up or provoking him. Tsukishima on the other hand is very smart in how he provokes Kageyama, mostly leaving him only angry or boiling inside instead.
Another person who would be able to accomplish that would be Oikawa when they are competing, showing a much more childish side as he has little fights with his senior, as seen in season two as both of them fought over the ball that has fallen to the ground, yet Oikawa is rather someone who challenges him and scratches on his pride and ego.
Secret sleeper and in-between eater
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There is always that one character you watch in the background, because while everyone in the panel or scene is doing something much more interesting, you will find that character doing irrelevant stuff that seems unlikely for his/her character.
And our pair for today are two of those characters, that when there is nothing to do for them in the main scene they are doing their own business not caring what others might think of them.
Both of them are very serious characters, who seem cold and stoic on the outside even aggressive sometimes but as soon as the attention of the events is derived from  them or there is a little pause in-between scenes you can spot their little dorky and cute sides, that shows yes those boys are still young and innocent highschoolers.
While they share their love for food, secretly snacking in the background or even having a full lunch in the midst of a serious talk between other characters, those two don’t even blink an eye turning away from the attention.
Kageyama just eats an Onigiri after a really serious scene where Oikawa had a panic attack in middle school, the scene obviously revolves more on Oikawa’s perception and fear explaining a bit the important role Iwaizumi has in his life as the person who brings him back on earth. Yet the other important person who caused the whole scene, Kageyama, moves to the background eating his snack casually as if nothing happened.
Same goes when Saeko, Tanaka’s sister, gives them a crazy drive to Tokyo.
We already saw in the early anime episodes that Kageyama sleeps most of the time in his classes or when nothing important is going on for him, but in Saeko’s car he just took the back rear for a midday nap and afterwards eats a snack half-asleep while she is drifting like crazy.
Since the focus was more on Saeko and Hinata talking about the little giant, Kageyama seemed to take the opportunity to move his out-of-character moments to the background.
Very similar to Todoroki Shoto, there is not much difference as he does basically the same as Kageyama. Even when he is only passively in the whole scene he just silently eats and watches his peers making most of the decisions like seen in their dorm lives and also sleeping on train or bus rides where most of his classmates are having fun meanwhile.
As seen when they made a plan to save Bakugo, Todoroki could easily enjoy a lunch and take a little nap in such dire situations.
In the manga it’s a running gag that when he is not much mentioned in the main events that you can spot him in a corner visibly or unconsciously doing one of those two things.
An adorable side-view of their usually serious and seemingly adult-like character.
Rival
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Last but not least, the ever-repeating rival relationship essence for complex characters.
The difference here is that both of them are already better than their supposed rivals Deku (and later Bakugo), and Oikawa.
You might think that when your ability level is already top-notch you might not need to worry about your rivals who you can surpass any time needed, but that is wrong in both cases.
Kageyama and Todoroki work even harder and as they work harder they cannot unsee the other strengths of their rivals which makes them so different.
Ability is nice and good, but there are other factors that matter in both a Volleyball player and a soon-to-be Prohero, which they both lack and see clearly in their rivals.
Personality-wise and in the ways they handle things their rivals are still unmatched in their eyes.
For Todoroki, Deku is someone he cannot reach yet when it comes to the true essence of a hero and his problem-solving thoughts, as well as his overly caring side for others that he admires so much. Clearly Todoroki is stronger than Deku physically and he already defeated him in many ways but he still thinks that there is a lot to learn from him.
Later on he even sees qualities in Bakugo who does take his hero path seriously and respects any opponent that comes his way, treating them like a threat which is the biggest respect one can give. Todoroki himself never saw his opponents but only his father in front of him which leaded him to overlook his allies and enemies, and Bakugo who even took Ochako serious when everyone else didn’t and clearly told him he should look what’s in front of him became one of the other rivals he had set his eyes on.
Kageyama has his one and only rival Oikawa, which he looks up to since middle school and thinks of someone he cannot compare to. Despite Oikawa already stating that Tobio will surpass him one day and that it might be sooner than he would expect, Kageyama still fears his senior and thinks the exact opposite.
As stated before Kageyama is unmatched ability-wise and in season two he even won against Oikawa, but as he saw Ushijima that seemed a bit intimidating he clearly said that he not afraid of anyone beside Oikawa, which is a big indicator that he still thinks of Oikawa as a big threat and rival that should be feared.
Oikawa is the kind of setter Kageyama aspires to be, he has other traits that Kageyama watches closely and is amazed by, one would be his quick and astonishing adaptability as he mentioned he is like a ruler who rules over his army.
When Kageyama needed advice he turned to Oikawa despite his pride and ego, fully aware that Oikawa might drop comments that would make fun of him.
In Kageyama’s case his rival is in a complex way his mentor and senior at the same time, as well a former teammate and fellow setter which connects those two not by only rivalry how others might think but in many more ways.
What do you think?
Did you see any similarities that I might have missed out or do you think some might not apply in your opinion?
Drop it down in the comments, I would be eager to read them!
As again I might leave you this time, but I will return again with another tea,
vanishing Makii
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heloflor · 3 years
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They’re gay, Orton
AO3 Link
“Hey ! Don’t do that ! I don’t have a time machine to go back and un-die you.”
“And if you get hurt, I don’t have one either !”
“Aww. That was touching.”
Note : Just a little drabble I wanted to make because, when I think of the crossover, it never fails to make me laugh to see Orton comment on how cute Cavendish and Dakota are with each other, only to make Doctor Zone and Time Ape brothers in his show. Orton is a guy from the 60s with no gaydar whatsoever and I find this hilarious. On that same note, I also went back to see how Time Ape is described in “The Doctor Zone Files” and it’s pretty interesting how he’s a “transchronological being” who chose his current form. So this fic is a very short thing that covers both these ideas.
Despite what the title and summary may indicate, this fic takes place when the group of adults just got stuck into the timestream and is more focused on Cavendish and Dakota than Orton (making titles and summaries is hard, alright).
(And regarding something in the fic, yes I know Dakota knows the word “peculiar”, as we see in “School Dance” for example; but I wanted to make a “Dakota doesn’t know complicated words” moment for once.)
This fic also goes into the direction of what I wrote last time, with Cavendish and Dakota being married but hiding their relationship due to homophobia from the past.
Enjoy !
Vinnie was bored.
He didn’t know how long they’ve been stuck in the time-stream, he didn’t know if there even was a point of wondering it. But what he knew is that he wasn’t going to be able to just sit there in silence for much longer. He needed some form of stimulation. Something, anything that could busy his mind.
He looked at the man facing him. Balth was messing with their intercommunicator, surely in an attempt to get them out of here.
“Hey.”, Vinnie tried to get his attention.
“One moment. I’m trying something.”, the taller man grumbled, getting more and more frustrated with the device.
Vinnie sighed. “Maybe I should just sing the zoo song.”, he murmured.
“Please don’t.”
“Why not ?”
“I don’t want to spend all eternity listening to the same two verses.”, his husband explained, putting the communicator away.
“Aw come on ! It’s a good song !”, Vinnie playfully replied. Balth didn’t budge and only looked more annoyed. “Besides, it makes me happy. Unlike the way a certain someone just keeps complaining.”, he continued playfully.
“Hmph.”, Vinnie immediately regretted his words as he noticed the hurt in Balth’s eyes along with the anger he was conveying.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”, he took Balth’s hand in his. “Y-you know I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t hate it when you complain. Well, it’s a tad annoying…but you get the point.”, he shrugged.
His husband nodded, making it clear that he understood. His eyes, however, kept looking between their joined hands and the man sitting next to Vinnie. Orton was scribbling again, stopping for a second to give the pair a glance before going back to his writing, only to freeze and look at the two again.
“Something on your mind ?”, Vinnie couldn’t help but ask the man.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”, Orton replied, almost looking like a child who was caught eavesdropping. “It’s just that the two of you have such a peculiar relationship.”
“Pecu-what ?”, the shorter man asked.
“Peculiar.”, Balth explained with an eye-roll. “It means strange but fascinating.”, the taller man turned his attention to the future TV star. “What makes you say such a thing ?”
“It’s the way you two act.”, Orton explained. “Since I’ve met you earlier, you kept arguing about anything and everything. But you always manage to keep working with each other and get along, as if all those arguments never happened at all.”
“Huh. I guess we do argue a lot.”, Vinnie commented while glancing at his husband with a smile. The taller man, however, was still focused on the other man. And was it just Vinnie, or did Balth looked tense, almost afraid ?
“It’s funny to see such a friendship.”, Orton continued. “It’s like the two of you were brothers.”
“B-brothers ?!”, Balth spluttered.
Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea, not helped by Balthazar’s reaction. In all his years of time-travel, he and Balth had been called a lot of things. But acting like brothers ? As in biological brothers and not brothers in arms ? From someone less than two centuries away from their time-period ? That was new. Vinnie had to admit, he would never stop being surprised by how oblivious people could be in the past, no matter how close to his present they were.
“Actually,”, Vinnie decided to correct. “we’re marr-“
“Yes, just like brothers !”, Balth interrupted, laughing awkwardly. Vinnie could only frown as the taller man silenced him with his hand. “After everything we’ve been through so much together, it’s like we always knew each other !”
“Yeah.”, the shorter man grumpily continued after removing Balth’s hand from his face. “And you should really tell your wife how great of a brother in-law she has.”, Vinnie tried to keep a relaxed tone, though he couldn’t help but glare at the man.
Balth returned his glare but stayed silent. From the corner of his eye, Vinnie could see his husband playing with his ring, his fingers slowly rubbing the metal.
“Can any of you help me with this ?”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted. He and his platypus friend were trying to push one of the cabinets of the time-machine.
“I can help !”, Orton replied as he stood up.
Once the other men were all out of earshot, the remaining pair had the same thought. Balth grabbed Vinnie’s arm and their face came closer.
“This man is from the 60s.”, Balth half-shouted half-whispered. “We can’t just go around telling him about our relationship !”
“He’s a nice guy !”, Vinnie argued.
“Just because he’s helping us now doesn’t mean he will be fine with two men liking each other !”
“But what if he does ? And if he doesn’t, so what ? He sees us as his friends. If he cares for us, he can realize that there’s nothing wrong with it and that we’re just normal people ! And what if he doesn’t think about it because it’s not a thing for him ? Because that doesn’t mean he’s against it !”
“Dakota.”, Balth took a deep breath, seemingly deflating. “Listen. The world is in grave danger. We might be the only people left who aren’t plants. If we tell Orton about us, we might cause a divide in the group. And we can’t afford that right now !”, after a quick look at the taco stand, he took Vinnie’s hand in his, gently rubbing it with his thumb. “We need to keep our relationship a secret from everyone. This is the safest thing we can do, especially with what’s happening right now. We simply cannot risk it.”
“…”, Vinnie sighed. “I hate it when you’re right about this.”, he pulled away, crossing his arms. “Alright, I won’t tell him. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
“I don’t expect you to be.”, his husband replied with a more compassionate tone.
When Orton came back to the table, he looked at the pair curiously but didn’t make any comment. He simply sat back, his head on the table. And that was the end of it.
Vinnie was still feeling a bit angry. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand about his marriage, it was the need to hide it just because of what some people might do to him. To Balth. But at least he learnt to live with this lie. And Balth was much more affectionate when they were in the present, making the whole thing bearable.
…And now that this entire talk was done, and with the two men at the table having the same idea to try sleeping, he yet again found himself with nothing to do but be bored.
  -----
After what felt like forever, they finally got their hands on some time juice. Thanks to the strange way the time-stream worked, the group somehow found the moment Vinnie got the clocks into it. Now they were almost on their way to 1965, waiting for Professor Time to fuel his time-machine.
“We are finally going to have a chance to get rid of those pistachios once and for all.”, Balth said not without relief, echoing Vinnie’s thoughts.
“Yeah.”, the shorter man replied. “And it’s about time too. If we’d have stayed stuck here several days, I would’ve started running out of those.”, forgetting about the time-period of the people around him, he took his testosterone doses out of his pocket.
“Since when do you carry those with you ?”, Balth commented.
“For a while now, in case it runs out.”, Vinnie elbowed his husband. “Looks like you’re starting to rub off on me.”
“It’s about time.”, the taller man replied with a small smile.
“Wait.”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted, the time-juice container in hand. “Why do you need to take hormones ?”, the professor gasped. “Does that mean you’re-! Wow, the future must have great surgeons, I never would’ve guessed !”
“Thanks.”, Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle. While the man with the annoying voice definitely wasn’t the portrait he made of the great hero who invented time-travel, there was still some pride in seeing the great Professor Time compliment him.
“They sure do.”, Balth replied as well, putting a hand on Vinnie’s shoulder. Whether it was in jealousy from seeing his hero compliment someone else or in protection due to what the professor may have grown up to believe about men like him, Vinnie couldn’t tell.
“Wait. What are you referring to ?”, Orton asked.
“Oh. Uhhh.”, Vinnie and Balth shared a look, and the shorter man didn’t miss how his husband immediately tensed. But now that the TV star heard, it would be rude not to answer him. “H-how to explain it simply…”
“Just do it like you were telling it to a child.”, Balth suggested in a lower voice. “You like children, right ?”
“Yeah. Yeah ok. Alright.”, Vinnie cleared his throat, his attention back on Orton, a man who was definitely not like a child. He felt Balth let go of him. Not helping, he mentally grumbled. “You see…when-when I was a kid…let’s just say I didn’t look like I do know. I mean, of course I grew up and changed but, ahem. Look, let’s just say that, when I was born, I wasn’t born a boy. I-I looked like a girl.”
“You were born a girl ?!”, despite his tone, Orton looked more fascinated than repulsed.
“Noooot exactly. I always was a boy. But when I was a kid, I, well I guess it was like I was trapped in a girl’s body. Everyone thought I was a girl, and for a while, I thought I did too. But I always wanted to look more like my brother. I often tried to wear his clothes and do things like him.”, Vinnie found himself smile at the memory. It was such a long time ago…”Eventually, I realized that I was a boy. So when I became a teenager, my oldest brother made sure I grew up like one. And here I am now.”
“So you were born with a different body, like a woman’s body, but chose to become a man ?”
“I wouldn’t say I chose but, yeah I guess that’s the main idea.”, Vinnie shrugged.
“Fascinating. I’m not sure I understand everything about it but…”, the TV star started writing in his notepad again. Vinnie hoped it didn’t mean bad news for him.
“You don’t have to understand it.”, Balth interrupted, his hand back on his husband’s shoulder. “The only thing to understand is that Dakota is a man, in both mind and body.”
“Oh you sure would know that.~”, the shorter man couldn’t help but joke, earning a glare from the taller man.
“Alright gang !”, Professor Time interjected as he got back to the counter. “The time-juice is in. And this time, we’ll have enough to go in and out. 1965, here we come !”
Note : For those curious about my headcanons : Dakota has three siblings, two brothers and one sister. Also the brother mentioned for the clothes is two years older than Vinnie, which is mostly why Vinnie went to him to get some clothes since it wouldn’t be that big on him. Also also, Vinnie is the youngest of the siblings (he’s the baby bro and he sometimes “hates” it, mostly because he has no-one to tease/coddle like the other three do, especially the two oldest).
This is the first time I not only write about a trans character but also made the fact that they’re trans be a subject of discussion; so I hope I did ok on that front.
And speaking of which, for those wondering about that too : I don’t see Heinz as a trans man. He’s definitely a crossdresser, and I completely understand why people see him as trans, but personally, I don’t really see it. So him being completely fine with Vinnie is less about him being able to relate and more about him being a decent person.
And one last thing : yes, Vinnie “””“”fully””””” transitioned. Hence the “both in mind and body” part (and my god does this sound transphobic when said like that…and that’s coming from someone who’s enby and wants to transition to male). So while I doubt that I’ll ever mention what Dakota has in his pants, don’t expect me to write something in which he falls pregnant or is able to.
Thanks for reading !
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aestheticaxolotl · 3 years
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Lets Talk About Gunnar Maelstrom
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Evil Daddies is where it’s at.
One of the meanings of the word "Maelstrom" is 'A situation of state of confused movement or violent turmoil.
Let me start with Maelstrom, usung the Carmen Sandiego Wiki to break him down as a whole, starting with appearance and personality (Excluding the comments around his action in the show, this will be hard seeing his major inclusion to the story so please bear with me once more as I do this).
Professor Maelstrom is a middle-aged man with pale skin and white hair with a receding hairline. He has broad shoulders and wears a black blazer over a dark gray turtleneck. As stated previously, Maelstrom is seen as being an almost unnaturally pale color, hinting towards possible Albinism.
Now, Middle aged according to the wiki page is between 50 and 60. Seeing the receding hairline and the lines on his face (Also can someone point me to a source about those random chin hairs? Like please I need context). 
He obviously has stress and sleep lines. I imagine these are due to his life choices and idiot operatives. His ethnicity is stated as being Swedish but continues to contradict itself when it later states that Maelstrom is from Scandinavia. I think this is to throw the readers and deep show watchers off and it would work better if both ethnicity and race were left as unknown. 
Now we move on to the easier things, personality, which is LONG. So let me start writing!
Of the five members of V.I.L.E's faculty, Maelstrom seems to command the most authority and serve as the de facto leader of the group, being the first to speak as well as hand out orders. As one may expect, Professor Maelstrom is criminally insane, which is ironic, considering his forte is psychiatry. Professor Maelstrom often likes to tinker with his patients' psyches and enjoys psychologically evaluating students, much like someone finding joy in pulling the wings off a butterfly. He does possess some level of awareness to his own insanity, though he is quick to brush it off as a mere label that other weak-minded people have given him. He also has an apparent fondness for the more psychotic recruits. In keeping with his name, his main desire is to spread chaos and disorder, with any actual gain being a secondary concern at best. Carmen considered him to be creepy, and rightfully so after he and Dr. Bellum collaborated to wipe Crackle's brain. Professor Maelstrom loathes Cookie Booker as he has no tolerance for her stuck up behavior towards him. He seems to have a fondness for marine life, as his office hosts a giant aquarium filled with jellyfish and other specimens. His use of the term "bait" as a pun is in reference to fishing bait, and in the novel adaptation, it is used twice. Further expanding the psychological exam scene from the show, in the novel, he declares that Carmen gave the "wrong" answer to the Rorschach test, stating that the image was a seahorse. The novelization expanded his sense of humor, though it mentions that even that had a dark and unpredictable tinge to it, showing delight in the lengths that his students would go in order to not be called upon in class. The show does have him throw a small quip every once in a while, often tinged with exasperation at his colleagues' antics or ignorance. He also enjoys making Countess Cleo envious of his fashion style, having asked Le Chevre and El Topo in the "The Fishy Doubloon Caper" to acquire an Ecuadorian Eight Escudos doubloon to be melted into solid gold cufflinks.
As done in my previous post, I will be diving deeper into the statement in the bolded font. 
Maelstrom seems to command the most authority and serve as the de facto leader of the group,
I don’t see any major reason for this face besides that there is a level of respect among the Faculty that centers around Maelstrom, seeing as he is one of the psychologically smarter than any of the other members, except Shadowsan but that is a post for another day. He is a very scary character because he is unpredictable, and possibly in the minds of the other, can be blamed for their crimes should they ever had been caught, but this leads me to my second quip with Gunnar Maelstrom.
Professor Maelstrom is criminally insane, which is ironic, considering his forte is psychiatry
When one looks up the term ‘Criminally insane’ we get the following “an accused person that is deemed to be suffering from cognitive illness or fault which frees then of lawful accountability for the unlawful behaviors” from https://psychologydictionary.org/criminally-insane/. 
I cannot at all say that I support this terminology on the stance that Maelstrom is more than aware of his action, to the point where he logically makes the choices to leave his fellow faculty behind at the prospect of capture. One cannot say that a “Criminally insane’ person is able to make these choices so quickly and with such calculation as to pack a go bag and hire an escape driver. But I digress.
He does possess some level of awareness to his own insanity, though he is quick to brush it off as a mere label that other weak-minded people have given him.
I don’t think that Maelstrom can stand to be labeled by other people. The exact use of the phrase “Weak-minded’ points me to believe that Maelstrom sees himself as mentally stronger, powerful, and far beyond that of the average person. This points to his class, and I’ll explain this in the next part, being the most critical and important to V.I.L.E as a whole.
His main desire is to spread chaos and disorder
This is WAY too specific to just be a drop in detail. No character is created be be a chaotic mixture, but they are built to SPREAD chaos, and Maelstrom is the perfect character to do this. His favor to Paperstar is a direct jab at this detail about him, she is an element of chaos that he put into play, the disorder of her is why he places her, while the other faculty hate Paperstar, he finds her the perfect wild card.
Professor Maelstrom loathes Cookie Booker 
I fully think this is, as the wiki and al of my sources say, Cookie Booker represents the original 1998 Carmen Sandeigo. And the loathing between them is a reference to the original game and books.
He seems to have a fondness for marine life, as his office hosts a giant aquarium filled with jellyfish and other specimens.
Not gonna lie, but I love this detail. The details, that caused me to GO BACK and watch the episodes with Maelstrom, was that the man likes fish. This adds onto the effect that he is rather cold and uncaring towards people, seeing them a thing to observe and keep. I also just love the idea of him having a fish tank and spoiling his goldfish that he named Clyde or something equally related to big time crime, like Al Capone or as said before Clyde.
He also enjoys making Countess Cleo envious of his fashion style
I’m sorry but Cleo and Gunnar challenging each other to see who is better in fashion? I’m sorry but they are the fashion police. Also I think this places WHO he is close to in the Faculty. I am very willing to bet that Maelstrom, who left Coach Brunt to drown and die, would NEVER leave Cleo or Bellum (Possibly) to die because they align more with HIS goals.
Brunt is... Dare I say... THE DUMBEST OF THE V.I.L.E FACULTY
WHAT DOES SHE DO?!?!
WHY IS SHE HERE?!
SHE’S STRONG AND THAT’S IT!
I digress (i used that phrase twice now), I just think his goals line up more with Cleo and (Again, possibly) Bellums’.
Now I go onto my favorite part of these paragraphs, the trivia/abilities. I love trivia/abilities, just because everyone sees this word and they are like ‘oh it’s just dumb facts’. BUT NO! It’s DENSTRAMENTAL to the character and links to their personalities.
He is capable of expertly performing a bait and switch. Professor Maelstrom specializes in psychiatry. He has been shown to have a favorite student, similar to the other faculty, in Paper Star; despite her disregard of the protocol in Mumbai. His grudge against Cookie Booker could be a subtle reference to the hostile relationship that his previous incarnation had with Carmen Sandiego in the 90's cartoon. As shown in the season three episode, The Haunted Bayou Caper, he has a fondness for Halloween.
Most od this is already covered, i know, so I won’t go over what I already did. SO let me just say... I know-
He is capable of expertly performing a bait and switch 
I NEED to SEE Maelstrom just- *Pulls and Bait and switch* -STEAL FROM SOMEONE. Like. I could totally believe that Maelstrom is the sleekest, most sneaky, most Swiper is swiping guy in the world. I am okay with letting them tell me this, but NO okay with them not SHOWING ME.
Netflix, I HOPE you see this so you can give me a SHOW on HOW GUNNAR MET MY MOTHER, COUNTESS CLEO.
He has a fondness for Halloween.
Charlie Pants. 
Do I need to say any more?
Okay, big ending time. So Gunnar Maelstrom, a deeply interesting character, mysterious backstory that a person can read into, different fun facts that lead to speculation and interest and amazing stories. I love Gunnar Maelstrom’s character, his personality, and his appearance. His effect? 100. His story? 100. His ability to make me rewatch the series? 100. 
Thanks for reading this. I’ll have another one out soon! Requests are open
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