#and he's like ''SWEET?????'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deadmomjokes · 2 years

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PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ????#and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?''#NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY???#and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often''#the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing''#and he's like ''SWEET?????''#so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES.#tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES.#prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

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catmask · 5 months

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sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.

#and i know that sounds silly like YES. it was just a bookr ecommendation #but i feel like a lot of people either dont really care about whats a good starting point for younger kids in their shared fan spaces #or dont really take the care to recognize different peoples ages would effect what they would both enjoy or #be capable of engaging with #not to mention theres a lot of manga that would NOT have been appropriate for a 10 year old to read #so the fact that he askedd and even asked what sort of thing i liked at the time #was very sweet. i think about him a lot and i hope hes doing well #txt #scratchpost

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

#i would like to Squeeze Him Full Strength #look at him!!! so proud that he tracked mud everywhere!!! what a good boy!!!!#listen listen. im a cat person. but barnaby.....#in my mind ms beagle is trying to be stern but hes just So Darn Cute #we are ms beagle pov #scribble garnish #welcome home #barnaby b beagle #welcome home puppet show #no okay but real talk the potential of barnaby's backstory has me close to tears #like hes just a little orphaned puppy... he was ORPHANED #WHAT A FUCKING DETAIL TO INCLUDE LIKE???? OWIE????#did she find him in a waterlogged cardboard box in the rain... just a lil puppy abandoned by the roadside....#OHHHHHH IM GONNA TEAR UP IF I KEEP THINKING ABOUT IT #who would abandon such a sweet boy....#listen im weak to animals #but im Especially weak to innocent lil bby animals who are abandoned/orphaned...#like theyre just little guys who deserve all the love in the world... pure and full of love... discarded....#WAILING AND SOBBING AND EATING YARN LIKE SPAGHETTI

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diezmil10000 · 5 months

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A girl like you

versión original en español, Una chica como tú

#fire emblem three houses #dorothea arnault #ferdinand von aegir #fe3h #all of the characters mentioned here are transfem. in case anyone is wondering #this was a comic i made for class #my teacher liked it a lot. he's very sweet #anyway #my art

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munsons-mutiny · 25 days

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One of my favorite trope for Steddie is Steve hunting down Eddie when the kids join Hellfire and giving him a long list of dos and donts.

At first Eddie thinks he’s just being a prick, and worried he’s going to turn the nerds into freaks like him. Especially when he says not to mention drugs in front of Dustin.

But then he starts pulling out lists of monsters that can’t be in campaigns. And like what??? Why can’t he use demagorgons? They were gonna be in the next combat! He’s tempted to ignore the warnings, in fact he’s all set to, but something about Steve’s face when he was laying it all out haunts him. Something so deadly serious about it. So first he decides to test the waters to see if he’s full of shit.

When the session starts, he makes a throwaway comment, “you’re acting like there’s a mindflayer around the corner.”

All the kids freeze but Wheeler especially looks like he’s going to be sick. He even grabs at the bracelet around his wrist. The one he always said his best friend made him before he moved.

Eddie curses himself for even trying to test it out after that, and immediately bullshits the whole session so he can scrap any hint of demogorgans from the campaign.

After that session he drives straight to Harringtons house and demands they go over all the things he can’t include again, in detail, while he takes notes.

He doesn’t know what’s going on with these freshmen, but he knows trauma when he sees it and well he’d gotten attached to the gremlins.

When he leaves that night, he thinks Steve is looking at him with approval. Like he trusts him with their well-being now.

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #mike wheeler #lil bit of byler #just a hint #also I firmly believe there’s not enough Eddie and Mike content in this fandom #like Mike worshipped him too #styled himself after him #and arguably needs Eddie more than Dustin does since he’s already got Steve #idk why I just feel like if anyone can kill season 3 and 4 Mike it’s Eddie #bring back my sweet season 1 and 2 leader who puts his friends before everything else #steddie #mine

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nerdpoe · 4 months

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Lucius Fox is in the drive thru for some coffee, and like. He's just. He's had a time, okay?

He's stuck on some equations in regard to the amount of torsion a joint would go through if it's half in his dimension and half in another, and it's driving him up a wall.

He's been up for like forty-eight hours, he's tired, he's thirsty, he just wants a coffee, and also how to solve this dilemma.

He doesn't expect the barista in the drive-thru he's ranting about the engineering issues to actually provide decent feedback, and give him a few alternatives.

So he rushes to the pick-up window, not even caring to order, to look at this godsend of a barista.

It's a scrawny kid with black hair and blue eyes, looking startled. Boy can't be more than eighteen.

He asks what college the kid is going to, or plans to go to.

To his absolute horror, the kid-Danny, according to the nametag-says he can't afford college. That he'd had a stint in highschool where he just hadn't been able to focus, and his parents had spent every penny they had on their own inventions.

So that was why he was a barista; because if he worked there for four years, they would offer tuition assistance.

Which.

No. No no no no no.

Lucius pulls around to march into the store, Bruce Motherfucking Wayne already blearily on his phone.

He is getting this kid, and any friend of his, into college.

If Bruce won't foot the bill, he will.

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queerdraws · 5 months

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it's zoro's birthday!! happy birthday big guy, may you say many more insane things to your enemies in the coming years

#one piece #zolu #comic #a while ago I reread some of the earlier arcs in one piece and was caught off guard by zoro's dialogue in the daz bonez fight #finally got around to making a comic abt it #boys fluctuating wildly between chatting shit n making jabs at eachother n having a sweet heartfelt moment #they have the range #the weird shape next to zoro's face in the second panel used to be a question mark #umm but it didn't get erased fully apparently #and im too lazy to do anything about that now that i've noticed it so enjoy!#oh also when luffy says baaastard hes imitating zoro saying temeeeee #does quite have the same feel...“baaaa” like a sheeps bleat vs the kinda drawl-y rumble of “meeee”...oh well

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its-elioo · 2 months

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Okay, since my last post UNEXPECTEDLY blew up, I'm gifting you all with more random doodles of this AU.

I really have to think of a name for this squad, hm hm.

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myrkulitescourge · 5 months

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the way that one line from the new epilogue in an astarion romance is going to HAUNT me

just. what a profoundly intense thing to confess to someone.

like, just these six months of newfound happiness with you exerts a force on his heart equal and in direct opposition to two centuries of endless torment, the gnawing hunger and exploitation. this flashbulb-bright fraction of his long life holds the same gravity to him as years upon years of darkness and suffering.

in all likelihood, he hasn’t even known his lover for as long as his worst memory lasted, that year sealed away to go mad from starvation and sensory deprivation, yet he still tells them this brief time has been so fundamentally and powerfully important that the weight of even that unimaginable hell is vanishingly small compared to this present he has now and the future ahead of them both.

how am i supposed to act normal about this.

#i need to lay down #just drop this in there right at the beginning why not!#that’s INTENSE. and completely sincere considering his demeanor at the party. god #he’s so… nice. in the romanced epilogue. i expected him to be a little smug and jokey #if tav told him the others weren’t doing so hot without the two of them around #but he takes it so genuinely and with visible disappointment?? literally shocked me #i thought he would say oh of course their lives have taken a turn without our impressive leadership lol!#and then redirect into something a little less flippant #but man. he just gets sad. astarion six months into a loving relationship is like a stray cat that instantly gets cuddly when you adopt it #dude went cotton candy marshmallow saccharine sweet in a HEARTBEAT #bless the others with your presence he says. i’ll always be here he says. we have forever after all he says.#head in my hands. how could they do this to me #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion #bg3 epilogue spoilers #bg3 spoilers #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #bg3

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poirott · 1 year

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Columbo + his basset hound named "Dog"

He doesn't look like a police dog. Well, he isn't. He's a policeman's dog. Believe me, there's a big difference.

COLUMBO (1968 - 2003)

#columbo #peter falk #tvedit #tvseriessource #cinematv #cinemapix #chewieblog #columboedit #*edit #columbo 3x06: mind over mayhem #columbo 5x01: forgotten lady #columbo 7x01: try and catch me #columbo 7x04: how to dial a murder #columbo 8x02: murder smoke and shadows #columbo 9x01: murder a self portrait #they're so sweet and soft together #lieutenant columbo adores his dog #he talks to him as if doggo were a person #just casually like they're having a conversation

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da-birb-writes-sometimes · 7 months

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Feelings Thawed

Character; Cater Diamond

Content; Fluff, gender-neutral reader, pining, ice skating (to various degrees of success)

Word Count; 650+

Author's Note; This is a present/thank you to my mutual @i-like-forgs. I hope you enjoy this ice skating scene with Cater, and that you get to skate soon!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

The brisk wind bit at your nose, and you pulled up your scarf, trying to keep away the offending wind. Around you it was a winter wonderland, all made possible in the temperate conditions thanks to Cater, who was filming you skating around on the frozen pond’s surface.

“You know,” you hollered, making sure that you caught his attention, “you should join me! It’s fun!” You came to a stop by the pond’s edge, where Cater was standing with a large thermos.

Cater just shot you a wink, handing you the thermos. “This is for you though, silly!”

He was deflecting, you could tell; behind that bright and cheery smile that he always seemed to wear around others, you knew when there was something off with Cater. You accepted the thermos though, and took a sip of the spicy apple cider, still piping hot.

You gave him a look and pulled lightly on his coat sleeve. “Yes, but it’s more fun with others, come on Cater!” You stepped back onto the ice, and slowly skated near him, waiting with an eager smile.

He looked at you, and then back at the ice, but he stayed standing in the light snow, shooting you that smile. “But I can’t take photos if I’m out there with you!” He scratched at the back of his neck.

Liar. “Cater,” you looped back around and stepped onto the bank, balancing on your skates, “do you not know how to skate?”

Cater’s smile turned sheepish, and his ‘ahahaha, looks like my gig is up’ chuckle made its appearance. He had been found out. “Never got the chance to,” he hid his face slightly in his scarf, either to keep the cold at bay or to hide that his cheeks were turning pink. “So I’d just slow ya down.”

You took his hand into yours, “Well, I could teach you if you wanted. Just a warning though, you’re gonna fall on your butt a lot, might get a few bruises.”

Cater looked down at your entwined hands. Mittens and gloves separated your skin from touching one another, but Cater could swear that he could feel the sensation nonetheless through the layers of fabric.

“You would? Even if I pull you down with me?”

The last question wasn’t just about the ice skating; Cater didn’t want to force you to do anything that you didn’t want to… and that included being his friend. His heart seemed to whisper stronger emotions though, but he didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had.

You walked him out to the ice, and the both of you swiftly fell down on the ice, hard. But you just laughed and got right back up again, “Well, we did just fall. There isn’t anything scary about falling down; yes it stings and might leave a gnarly bruise, but in order to move forward we have to fall and get back up. So yes, is what I guess I’m saying.”

Cater looked up at you, the sun illuminating you and the snow glittered behind you. You were holding your hand out again, waiting for him. And Cater took your hand.

It took him a while to get the hang of it, and he fell down quite a bit, but every time he fell down you helped him back up. And by the time that the sun was setting in the west, the both of you were cold, and both were going to wake up tomorrow with some bruises. It was fun though, which is all that mattered… but that whisper in Cater’s heart was by now singing, and maybe he would listen to it, but for now, he was happy with how the way things were, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world, especially with how much you had smiled today. Your smile and knowing that you had fun with him was enough.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tags; @eynnwwyjth, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @silvers-numberonefan, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

#twst #twst x reader #twst x gn reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x gn reader #cater diamon #cater diamond x reader #cater diamond x gn reader #i decided to let you decide how reader feels about cater since it allows for various possibilities #also decided to go with cater since i only had the dorm headcanons with him; and he deserved his own drabble #i hope you like this when you get the chance to read it ryo ^v^#thank you for your support; even if it does give me a mini stroke when you break my tumblr notifications #decided for spicy apple cider as its something i can see cater liking (not super sweet but still warm to keep you warm in the cold)#this is also a thank you for crashing a mutuals wedding and stopping a union; i used my writing as enticement to stop it <3 #let's see how the cater simps react to this; hoping you guys enjoy!

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beescake · 4 months

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im a sollux kinnie and ur art is great. like a delicious meal. 1 million courses. my compliments to the chef.

AOGHHH TYSM I REALLY APPRECIATE IT

in gratitude i present a little guy doing setup for the first time 🐝

#FR MEANS A LOT TO ME THANKYOU 🥲🙏 the chef analogy is so sweet too i love it #apologies i take a while to answer asks.. generating ideas #ask #anon #homestuck #sollux captor #2023 #vioart #now im curious to know #question for sollux appreciators at any point in time -#was there any specific moment that made u connect w him most?#like for me it was when he became relieved and happy after the voices stopped #as someone plagued by 24/7 internal monologue. being "free from the voices” sounded absolutely euphoric to me LMAO #watching him talk abt finally being able to think clearly and hear his own thoughts...... gOD. MY BIGGEST ENVY OF HOMESTUCK.

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suiheisen · 9 days

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you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank #he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated #but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING #drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern #po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog #ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both #also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited #anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a #long post #sidney crosby #evgeni malkin #pittsburgh penguins #also!!! to all who celebrate #ramadan kareem/eid mubarak #<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good

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bruciemilf · 2 months

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I can’t explain, it but Thomas Wayne should be a cigarette mom

God help you if you cross this man at 4 in the morning at a Krispy Donut parking lot cause his cat of a child chased a rat. Voice sounding like a broken car motor, but like. Sexy. “The hell are you lookin’ at?! God damn it— BRUCE. Take that outta your mouth.”

#if you watch kimmi Rhodes you know what I’m talking about #just like #‘god DAMN it Bruce! you got to the count of 3 to stop biting that god damn mailman! one! TWO. TWO. AND. A HALF.’#very rough guy but damn he can be sweet #tiny Bruce had it both rough and fun. wine mom Martha also!!!#thomas wayne #dc comics #text #batman #batfamily #bruce wayne #baby bruce #young bruce wayne

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 9 months

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im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work #now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water #that oughta fix me #pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts #they were too important in my mind not to include #godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy #i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle #ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet!#wait no sorry that was a fucking lie #i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong!#ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM #unwell. simply unwell yes yes #there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url!#puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open #might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!

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crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington · 9 months

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willingly unloved

#ethan winters #leon kennedy #lethan #resident evil #rebhfun #resident evil fanart #roomate au #hello everpony welcom back to crumb cuptoast speculating how re8 and re7 would have changed ethan as a person #hashtag trust issues hashtag paranoia #ok but everyone ethan has ever loved and put his trust into has hurt him #chris hurt him and mia hurt him twice i feel like if he survived re8 he would be way more closed off #i feel like he would also be more aggresive in arguments #in re8 when mia miranda raises her voice at ethan he apologizes and changes the subject but i feel like after constantly being kicked down #he would be a lot angier at the world #hes still sweet but if someone argues with him he will defiently be very defensive

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