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#and he needs her to be alive for that to happen
milswrites · 2 days
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The Trials of Aphrodite Part Four
~ Azriel X Fem!Reader
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Series Masterlist
Series summary: Hopelessly in love with Elain, Azriel enlists your help in order to win her over. The only problem? You have been in love with Azriel for as long as you have known him.
Chapter summary: A chat with Rhysand and an unexpected encounter.
Warnings: Angst (not going to give it a level because you guys will come for me and say I'm wrong).
You should have known nothing would get past Rhysand.
Your High Lord had been alive for long enough to know when someone was sneaking around behind his back, even if it was the elusive shadowsinger.
So despite the fact the sudden appearance of the Lord of Night at your door had your palms sweating and heart beating in distress, his arrival wasn't entirely unexpected.
With a long exhale and a quick tap to your mental shields in order to make sure they're in place, you open the door, a synthetic smile working its way onto your face as you greeted your waiting friend.
"Rhys, how wonderful to see you!" you simpered, praying the male wouldn't be able to hear the irregular pounding of your fluctuating heartbeat. Rhysand provided you with his own sickly sweet smile in return, violet eyes twinkling knowingly as he began to speak, "Azriel -"
You didn't allow him the time to finish his sentence, interrupting the Lord in an attempt to draw the conversation away from your rule breaking best friend, "Az isn't here unfortunately, maybe you should try -"
It was Rhysand's turn to cut you off, the male casually raising an inquisitive brow as he did so, smirk only growing wider at your flustered manner, "The market?. . . With Elain?" you blanched at his words, "hmm quite unusual how he seems to be able to talk to her now, isn't it? You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?"
"Awh Rhys I'm hurt," you pout mockingly, holding a hand to your heart as you step aside to allow the male to enter, "Here I thought you came to see me, and yet all you want to talk about is Azriel's lousy ability to talk to females."
Rhys scoffed at your reply as you busied yourself with making tea, avoiding his pressing stare for as long as you could until your reluctant eyes finally met his own. Sighing at his persistent glare, you held your hands up in defeat, "Fine, I helped him! He practically forced my hand, what was I supposed to do?"
"He made you?" Rhysand asked unimpressed, your eyes already rolling at the lecture which was no doubt about to ensue. Yet his next words were enough for you to spit out the tea you had just consumed, "Or your feelings did?"
"This has nothing to do with that" you snapped in defense, body recoiling at Rhysand's sympathetic stare, "Az needed me Rhys, of course I had to help him."
Your friend stretched his arm across the counter, resting a heavy hand onto your own to stop the slight tremble which his words had triggered. "At the expense of your heart?" Rhysand questions, his face contorted in empathetic pain, "You don't have to do this Flower. You are your own person, there's no shame in saying no to him."
Your eyes began to water as you stared at Rhys's comforting hand, head shaking hopelessly in denial. "What kind of friend would I be?" you miserably ask, "If I can't overlook my childish feelings in order to make him happy."
"It's not your job to make him happy," Rhysand reasons, gently squeezing your hand in order to pull your saddened gaze to his own, "you being there is enough to do that."
"But I am not enough" you shout, Rhysand's arm retracting in surprise at your sudden burst of anger, "I will never be enough for him. I have offered him everything; my friendship, my happiness, my heart. And what do I have to show for it after five hundred years other than his unreciprocated feelings?"
Rhysand came to stand before you, pulling you into a crushing embrace, lips coming to your ear to whisper words of consolation as you cried into his chest. "It's ok" he promised, cupping your head to press you tighter still into his hold, "You're ok. Feelings pass, it just takes time."
"It's not just feelings Rhys" you wept into his shirt, thanking the cauldron that your tears didn't show on the dark material, "I love him."
"So why?" Rhysand asked, moving his hands to your face in order to wipe your tears and draw your eyes to his own begging ones, "Why are you doing this? Why help him?"
"Because I'm tired of loving" you confessed, hiccupping as you spoke, "I want to move on. And if moving on means I have to help him fall in love with somebody else . . ."
Your friend sighed in defeat, a wave of disgruntled understanding beginning to pool in his violet eyes. "You are so unbelievably selfless" Rhys said with a sad smile as he came to place a soft kiss against your brow.
"Are you mad at me? . . . For helping Azriel go against your orders?" you sniffled, voice wavering as you spoke. Salty tears still making their way down your cheeks. "I could never be mad at you Flower" Rhysand consoled, "I'm only disappointed that Azriel would bring you into this mess in the first place. You deserve so much more."
So you continued to cry.
And whilst you were wrapped within the loving arms of the Lord of Night, you could have sworn you had never felt more alone.
Leaving your house was a trial in itself nowadays. Having to force yourself to vacate the sanctuary of your home in order to stir some feelings inside of you that weren't just hopeless despair.
Yet you were unable to shake your loneliness as you walked through the streets of Velaris without the shadowsinger by your side. Azriel having regretfully told you that he had training to make up for with Cassian after having spent the morning alongside Elain.
So, aimlessly wandering around in a melancholic state, you opted to grab yourself a treat in the hope of lightening your mood. For that there was only one place to go, the charming little bakery which you and Azriel had discovered together many years ago.
It was a difficult decision, choosing what pastry to buy, your hungry eyes scouring over the selection until you saw something you liked. The smiling shopkeeper making polite conversation as you pondered your options. Her words bringing your thoughts back to the male you so longed to forget, "now where's that handsome friend of yours today?"
Your heart twinged at the mention of his name, smile dropping slightly as you focused your attention back onto the baked goods before you, "Oh you know, the life of the shadowsinger is a busy one."
The keeper nodded in understanding, wide grin still plastered across her lips as she spoke, "would you like to grab something for him too? On the house for such loyal customers."
You wanted to say no, to prove that Rhysand's words were true and show yourself that your life didn't revolve around Azriel. Yet the flash of his grateful smile appeared in your mind, the warm buttery feeling of the male hugging you in thanks already growing in your chest.
Yet before you even had the chance to answer the waiting lady, a hurried figure bumped into your side, spilling the contents of their steaming cup onto your shirt.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Are you alright?" flustered apologies flowed from the male's mouth, his hands flying to rub the newly formed coffee stain with a napkin.
You found yourself incapable of answering.
Unsure of whether it was the shock that had stunned you into silence, or the dark ruffled hair and deep hazel eyes of the mysterious stranger. Unfussed by your lack of response, the male continued to ramble, "gods I'm so stupid, I should have watched where I was going. I'll buy you a new top I promise."
Stirring to your senses, you grabbed the male's hands to stop his hastily-done cleaning, allowing a reassuring smile to grace your lips as you promised him it was alright, "Don't worry, I was wondering what this top would look like with coffee all over it."
He barked out a laugh, lifting a hand to muss his short black hair, "I suppose I can only be grateful for running into someone as wonderfully forgiving as you."
It were as if he had you under a spell, his sharp jaw and strong features working to draw you in. "If you wanted my attention you could have just asked me for it" your jaw snapped together as soon as the words slipped out, eyes going wide at your unabashed confidence.
Your words seeming to please the male, a smirk crossing his face as he leaned into reply, "Can you blame me? Getting the chance to run into the most beautiful woman in all of Prythian doesn't come too often."
Unable to stop the blush which flushed across your heated cheeks, your eyes looked to anywhere but his own hazel ones in an attempt to escape the intensity of his gaze.
"I'll tell you what," the handsome stranger started, gesturing his head towards the counter, "I think I owe you a drink after that accident, if you want to join me that is."
All thoughts of getting something for Azriel forgotten, a smirk of your own worked its way onto your face as you reply, "hmm, I'm not sure. I only drink coffee with males I know the name of."
"Deimos" he eagerly replied, the glint of an unknown emotion shimmering within his hazel eyes, "My name is Deimos."
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Notes: I would apologise for the lack of Azriel in this part but honestly I think you guys would thank me for it at this point!
Big thank you to @sarawritestories who waved her magic wand and made me love my writing again.
Taglist Part 1:
@a-cup-of-nightshade @yearninglustfully @illyrianbitch @ninaduchess @sarawritestories @annaaaaa88 @antiquecultist @madelyncullen @erencvlt @chaytea06 @dxjaaaa @saltedcoffeescotch @spark1epuffba11s @thestartitaness @amysangel @historygeekqueen @thelov3lybookworm @aaronwarnerobsessedmylove @willowpains @thebeautifulmysteriesoflife @dreamlandreader @sidthedollface2 @leeknows-wife @riorgail @eve175 @evergreenlark @anuttellaa @daily-dose-of-sass @jesus-is-me @tothestarsandwhateverend
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You don’t get to tell me about sad
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Previous chapter
a/n part two! Thank you for everyone who read the first one. So glad some of you liked it so much. 🫧🤍
summary: Azriel gets an assignment he can’t seem to decline. Now he has a princess full of attitude under his protection. The only question is whose cold heart will break first.
warning: past trauma, scars
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“No threats, nothing," Azriel dropped the report down on the table. Rhys had been the one to go meet with Autumn’s high lord. Bringing back the reports of everything that had been happening the past three days. “Eris said that everyone still thinks she’s there," Rhys stated. They planned on spinning a lie about you visiting an old relative, but it was better if the people who had inflicted the first attack would be misled about your true location.
“This could have been a one-time thing," Cassian hums, flipping through the report himself. “Or someone is waiting for the right moment," Rhys links his fingers together, resting his chin on them. “Why her?”, Cassian frowns. Yeah, Azriel asked that too at first. You didn’t seem to be magically gifted. There was nothing special about you, as far as he was aware. “Eris said she’s a weak link," the spymaster muttered.
“They’re close? That would explain things," and Cassian was right there. Love might be the worst weapon to have. Once, it slipped into the wrong hands. Azriel let out a sigh.
“Considering how he delivered the news, he loves her a lot. I believe, besides Lucien, she’s the closest to him." If he was being truthful, he hadn’t given it much thought. Here in Velaris, he could leave you on your own devices for the most part, at least. He didn’t need to trail after you. There was no need. Azriel had eyes almost everywhere.
“We’ll figure something out. I will ask around to see if something is stirring." Rhys leans back, his eyes now fixed on Azriel, “How are you?”. Azriel tries to hold back to not roll his eyes. “I’ve been fine for two weeks ago." And he was. Yes, his left side still hurt. The scar was deep and rather long. Rapping around his ribcage. Not to mention that he had pulled the stitches out way too many times. “Don’t start this," Rhys says bluntly.
“I could be up at the camps doing what I do best," Azriel points out. Itching to pick this topic back up. “Dying in the snow?"—that was a straight blow from his brother. Rhys hadn’t been able to say it out loud for the first couple of weeks. The thought of Azriel dying had messed with his head. “I said no, so it’s a no. Plus, you have a new responsibility," Rhys states firmly, and Azriel knows that there is no use in nagging him any further. “Counting days till she’s out of my sight," he mutters beneath his breath, standing up to leave. He just forgot to mean the words he spoke.
Velaris was different from what you had imagined it to be. In a good way, but it still wasn’t home. The ever-green trees almost bugged you. It was all too alive. Too bright. You missed the deep oranges. The crunching of the leaves beneath your feet. Rhys tried to be a caring host by giving you an autumn-themed room, but that only left a bitter taste in your mouth. So even if you had been advised by their healer to keep all weight off your swollen ankle for a while, you still found yourself, pulling away the decorations and shoving away the autumn theme blankets, the little trinkets.
You tried to keep out of everyone’s hair. Choosing to take your food into your room. But the four walls were starting to drive you mad. You had tasted freedom, and you didn’t want to be back there. Locked up. Hidden. Forgotten. So when your eyes landed on the two males sparing in the front yard, you, of course, first observed them from your window. Watching through the curtains and then pushing back.
“You should be resting your leg," Azriel hadn’t even turned to face you when his voice found you. A slight smirk tugging at your lips. He had been avoiding you. Or maybe you were too full of yourself. Maybe he was just busy. There was no requirement for him to be at your side twenty-four-seven.
“You’re a shit bodyguard if you didn’t know that I've been doing just that for the past three days," you muse, stepping closer to the racks of weapons that line their training ground. Fingers l brushing over a set of onyx black daggers. “Madja said at least a couple of weeks," Azriel points out, reaching to rewrap his knuckles. “And I said that I'm bored, and now we are here," you purr, lifting one of the daggers, feeling out the weight as you twist your wrist. You could feel Azriel’s eyes. Watching you. Following your every move.
“Or you just wanted a closer look at this“, the male next to him, who you had come to learn was Cassian, smirks, gesturing to his bare chest. Abs glistening with sweat. Yeah, the view wasn’t bad. Autumn males, at least the ones you know, didn’t compare. “And I thought this one was full of himself." You hooked your thumb at Azriel, rolling your eyes.
He shakes his head, “Would it hurt you to say my name?”, "Yes, Mr. Tree, trunk up my ass." You give him the most obnoxious smile you could master. Earning a deep growl from the spymaster in return. Until your eyes landed on the wooden bow, neatly placed on the ground by the buckets of water. “I want to shoot arrows," you mutter, pointing to the weapon, making Azriel’s gaze follow suit.
He let out a small snort, “Have you ever held a bow in your delicate hands?”. That prick. You narrowed your eyes at him. "Oh, news flash, he is also a sexist,” you hiss. Rounding his side to reach for the arrows. “I just don’t want you falling and tripping once again, princess," he teases in an almost mocking tone. You step closer to him. You doubt that he finds you intimidating, considering that you need to look up to even meet his gaze. But your face stays ice cold as you point to the bow, “Give it to me." He doesn’t move at first. As if on purpose. Giving you extra time to look at him. His face. There is a light scar over his right eyebrow. It’s not all that visible. Unless you take your time to… but, your little daydream is cut short by a bow being shoved at your chest. You nearly lose your footing. And just like that, you are snapped out of your daze.
“Don’t start crying when you miss," Azriel says, too full of himself as always. Leaning on the side beam like a smug, fucking cat. Too bad you grew up among five arrogant males. Six if you include that sadist of a father. That’s enough for the amber to catch fire deep within your chest. You line the arrow up. Taking a deep breath. Eyes falling to the target at the edge of the field ahead. And then it’s muscle memory as you let it loose. The first one hit the bull's eye. A satisfied smile speeds on your face as you reach for the second and third. You’re petty like that. Not in the mood to give Azriel a chance to call it fool’s luck.
A loud chuckle fills your ears, and then someone is nudging your shoulder. “She handed you your ass on a silver plate, brother." Cassian’s laughter booms, and you can’t help but match his grin. “Choke on the dust," you muse, flipping him off as you twist away from him. But Azriel is quick as always, grasping your elbow as he spin you back. “Know your place," he says through gritted teeth. Nostrils flaring.
“Maybe you should show me my place," you mutter, crossing an x on his chest. You yank your hand from his grip, glancing at Cassian, “Put the dog on the leash." Azriel curses, making Cassian snort, before the general starts barking, moving to the side to tackle his brother. You shake your head, continuing to walk away. Only catching a faint warning from Azriel, “Don’t fucking encourage it.”
Azriel chose to leave you alone for the rest of the day. Yet he could deny it all he wanted, but the shots were clean. Not to mention that he was almost relieved that you had left your room. A burden or not, he didn’t want you just rotting between the four walls. So he’s not all that surprised when your figure steps out onto the balcony. A lantern in your hand. One that you carefully place on the ledge before placing your hand on the stones. Stepping on your tiptoes, leaning to look over the edge.
"Snooping", the sudden sound of his voice makes you jump, your elbow hitting the lantern and pushing it over the edge. “You’re insane. Absolute sociopath," you gasp, hand on your chest as you try to wipe the threat from your face.
“You’re pathetic if that made you scared," Azriel shrugs, stepping out for the shadows. It wasn’t pathetic. He knew that. If he didn’t want to be seen, no one would see him. So blaming this on you was lame, but he could excuse it. For now. “You’re a creep," you hiss, leaning over the edge to look for the broken glass, now scattered on the ground. “Who sits in the dark like that?”, you ask, shaking your head and pulling your ginger hair over to one side. Fidgeting with the ends. That’s a new habit, Azriel thinks to himself, one he hadn’t yet observed.
You just shake your head once you don’t receive an answer from him. Eyes darting up the sky. It’s almost pitch black. The last traces of orange and deep purple are coloring the very edges of the horizon. “The sky is beautiful here as well," you breathe out. Not sure why. It felt stupid to get sentimental with that crazy man behind you. “It is," Azriel admits, forcing his eyes from your frame to lift to the sky. But the stars only manage to hold his attention for so long. Before they glance right back down at you, Azriel can’t tell from your face, but he feels the wave of sadness crashing into his chest.
And not even a heartbeat later you speak up again. “I usually take walks with the dogs in the evening, so... old habits die hard. I feel the itch." It’s an almost bitter chuckle that slips past your lips as you speak. Azriel walks close to the railing. “I feel the same if I don’t get to work late at night," he’s not sure why he’s even saying that. Admitting something that you don’t need to know. Or probably care to know. Your nose screeches up. “That’s a weird thing to like," you mutter. Azriel rolls his eyes, “Stomping through the woods isn’t any better.”
The breeze picks up. Chasing the last bits of warmth away. Making you wrap your arms around yourself tighter, but you don’t step back. Don’t move to head inside. “So, you’re a working late and sleep-in type of guy," you mutter. Azriel realizes it then. You’re here because you don’t want to be alone. Force-pushing the conversation to keep someone else in your company. Flashes of the basement flicker through his mind.
“No, I wake up early," he answers, a heartbeat too late, and yet you’re still nodding along. “So, no sleep type of guy," you mutter beneath your breath. The darkness is now fully draping over you two. Hiding you both from the world. “And you’re a talk just to listen to yourself speak type of girl," Azriel points out, making you huff. “And here, I thought we were having a moment." He watches as you turn around, shaking your head. “Jumping to conclusions kind of girl too," he says firmly, and this time it’s enough to drag a little chuckle from your lips as your head falls back ever so slightly.
But the distant pain doesn’t leave your eyes when you glance back at him. “Did Eris say anything by any chance?”, you mutter. A part of Azriel considers lying. Twisting the truth. A white lie. But he can’t bring himself to. Too many people were already keeping you in the dark, so he mutters a quiet, "No." Watching as you nod way too eagerly at his answer, “Of course, delighted to get rid of the troublemaker," there was that pained smile at the end as you finally chose to spread the distance between you two. “Lucien is coming tomorrow, though," Azriel points out, your tense shoulders easing ever so slightly. You don’t say anything as you reach for the glass door.
“Are you going to sleep?”, Azriel asks, almost cringing himself out. What was this sound of desperation? He didn’t fucking care what you did. “Not yet. I will walk in the garden for a bit." You gesture to the fields wrapping around the house. Azriel nods firmly, “Keep to the upper parts; don’t go past the rose garden if you get by the white... ”, “Okay, okay, mother... Tie me to your chair and watch me wilt away while you’re at it," you huff, your lips thinning into a tight line. “I’ll finish some work and come to do a room sweep," the spymaster says in an almost demanding manner. You simply raise your hand to your forehead, saluting him with a quiet “Yes, sir," before disappearing into the house.
It took Azriel way longer to get through his usual routine. He liked his office tidy for his morning working session. So at night, even if he was tired to his bones, he made the effort to sort through every pile of documents. Arrange them neatly. When he finally made it up to the top floor, where your room was located, it was well past midnight. Azriel knew that he could just drop it. He didn’t have to show up and check the room. Yet he still stood there right by your door.
"Princess," he knocked gently, not really in the mood to startle you once again tonight. You might be small and fierce, but everyone has a limit. When no response follows, he tries again: "Yn, it’s Azriel, can I come in?”, but still nothing. He could just walk in, but you weren’t a prisoner per se. “This is your last warning," he says, waiting for a heartbeat before pushing onto the handle.
It was dead quiet in the room. He would have concluded that you might not have returned yet if not for the mess that your bed was. He frowns slightly. Following the line of blankets that lead to the fireplace. And here you are. Curled by the fire, all the blankets dragged from the bed. Piles of books scattered all around you. He didn’t know that you had gone to the library. Or maybe this was Nesta’s doing. In that case, he didn’t wish to find out what was written in them. Azriel scannes the room. His eyes fell on the pens and pencils on the table. A sketchbook. A strange feeling kindled in Azriel’s chest. He has a pad just like that. Kept it in his leathers. So if he feels the urge or if something captures his attention begging to be sketched, he could easily do so.
Azriel steps closer, trying not to leave evidence of looking through your stuff. It makes him uneasy just how close you are to the fireplace, but then. Flame calls to flame. He knows that he should turn away. Just leave you be. There’s no danger here. He knows it. But he finds himself stepping forward, kneeling by your body. He hasn’t seen you so peacefully innocent before. He only knew the frowning, tantrum-throwing princess.
Tilting his head to the side, he tries to drink your features in. You were a Vanserra. The resemblance to Eris and Lucien was there. But a much softer version. With freckles all over your face. Long eyelashes. Your hair was more ginger than fire-red. But then his gaze halted. Your left shoulder was bare. The very top of your breast... a scar. It was a scare that made him halt. On your collarbone. And then two lines going beneath your shirt. Azriel’s scowl only deepened at the sight of one more white line at the side of your throat. “What did they do to you?", he mutters quietly. But it’s enough to make your eyes snap open as you jolt up. And once again, there’s a dagger aimed at Azriel’s throat, this time from the side. The very tip pressing into his flesh.
“What the fuck?", you huff, lowering your hand. “That’s a much better aim. You’re learning fast, princess." Azriel tries to keep his face cool as he steps back. Standing tall. “Why are you here standing over me like that?”, you scowl, pulling the blanket tighter over your shoulders.
“I just came to check the room," Azriel says, moving his gaze to the window. Anything was better now than looking into your burning eyes. “And decided that you can just let yourself in," you say, pushing to stand up. “You were on the floor by the fire; who knows, maybe you were lying there dead?", Azriel bits back, gesturing at the mess you had created. It was embarrassing that he had seen it. No one was supposed to see it. A bitter laugh slips past your lips, “You wish that would be...", and in a blink of an eye, he is there. Inches away from you. Hand reaching for your hair. No doubt he had thought about just yanking it back but decided against it at the last minute.
“Don’t finish that," he says, opting for a warning finger once more. As if he’s scolding a child. “Or what?", you flash your teeth at him. Pretending to bite the very tip of his finger. “You love picking fights, huh?", he straightens, smothering his hair back. The slight curls falling over his forehead. “You love changing the subject, huh?”, you mock back in the same tone. “You might just be one of the most frustrating things that came out of autumn," and you can see that he probably didn’t even mean to say it out loud. But he did. And now you two were standing in the aftermath of it. Your hands curling into fists. “Thing...", you smile at him, “How sweet of you; ladies probably drop their pants for that," and here it was that cold, cold look on your face. "Out," you hiss, now pointing Azriel to the door. Dismissing him.
The next morning is rather awkward. Azriel finds you in the sunroom of the house. Your legs tugged beneath you. You don’t lift your head, and he says nothing. Taking his usual spot by the window to drink his coffee. It unsettles him. The silence. He doesn’t want you to feel like he’s some creepy stalker. Maybe you both should settle the ground rules. Talk about the situation. But once he finally finds the courage to open his mouth, the door opens. A gasp slips past your lips as you jump up, rushing to the male standing in the doorway.
"Luci," you breathe, wrapping your arms around your brother’s neck. The warmth he carried seeping into your body. “My little flicker," he mutters against your hair, leaving a couple of kisses on the side of your head. "Azriel," Lucien nods in acknowledgment. Azriel follows his movement. “I’ve got it from here”, Luci smiles at the spymaster, rubbing his hands up and down your back.
“What’s going on?”, you mutter against his chest, refusing to let go. “What did Eris say?”, your brother asks, and it’s enough to make you pull back. “I don’t give a fuck about what he said," you grunt. “I want to know what you know," you demand. You have a full right to. Lucien holds your gaze for a moment before letting out a tired sigh, “We will be heading back for a bit." You shake your head, turning away from him.
“I will tell you as soon as I can, I promise," he says as he steps forward, holding you by your shoulder as he lowers his forehead to lean against you.“Why are we going back?” It’s a whisper, but blood runs thicker than water. And you need to stick together, as you always did. Even if you still don’t understand anything, “There is a public outing. He needs us by his side." That makes you chuckle, “I also needed him by my side in case anyone was wondering.”.
"Yn," Lucien sighs, but you shake your head. “You don’t get to make me feel bad for him." It’s selfish, you know that. But they had sworn to protect you, and this feels like the opposite of it. “He’s figuring this out too; be kind," Lucien mumbles, pulling your hands into his and squeezing them. “Come on, you’ll get to watch the joy on Azriel’s face when I tell him that he’ll have to spend a couple of nights in autumn," he nudges you, making you smile ever so slightly, “Now that I can get behind”.
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Taglist: @emryb
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dyns33 · 3 days
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Family respect
Alfie and his Shelby wife are back for more adventures.
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"He's back." was the first thing Ada said to her when she picked up the phone, and that was enough for Y/N to understand who she was talking about.
If she had hardly known her mother, who died when she was young, she had not really known her father well either, while he was still alive.
The relationship between Arthur Shelby Sr. and his family had always been complicated. Long before Y/N was found by Polly when she was still a child, abandoned in an orphanage.
It had been luck or fate that her father quickly spoke of her in a letter sent to his sister, writing that he had made a little mistake during a trip. That was what he named Y/N, his little mistake.
The rest of Shelby didn't see her that way. They had adored her from the moment they saw the girl, welcoming her as if she had always been there, as if they had the same mother, and protecting her against this drunken and tyrannical father.
There was still respect for the elders. This notion was important to the romani, and some therefore found it difficult to completely rebel against the man despite his many faults.
This was especially difficult for Arthur. He admired him when he was younger, and even though he often stood up for his brothers and sisters, he blindly followed him in all his dangerous plans.
He had often gotten into trouble because of their father. Tommy was very angry with him for that.
This naivety was undoubtedly one of the reasons why it was not Arthur who managed the family affairs even though he was the oldest.
He never complained about it. As he followed their father, he followed Thomas without question, recognizing that his little brother was smarter, more stubborn, better at business and discussion.
But the few times their father had passed through Birmingham again, he had criticized this absurd hierarchy, and even if Arthur eventually bowed his head to Tommy, there were always several days when he was at their father's side, ready to believe that he had changed.
“Where is Thomas ?” Y/N asked her sister, because she didn't want to hear more about their father at the moment.
"Probably in one of the neighboring farms, with horses, to calm down and stop himself from shooting someone between the eyes."
"And the others ?"
"Polly is talking to them in the kitchen. She thinks dad wants something. Money probably. He'll leave quickly when he gets what he's looking for. But I'm afraid of what will happen in the meantime."
"I'll take care of it. I'll find Arthur." Y/N promised, because absolutely anything could happen to Arthur Senior, no one would be sad, but leaving her brother was out of the question.
Ollie asked nothing when she ordered him to send his best men to look for her older brother, and to watch what he was doing. He just nodded, calling her "Madam Solomons" with great respect.
According to Alfie, she had seduced the poor boy, as well as many of his employees, the residents of Candem, and even the dog.
"Before, Cyril sat with me by the fire. Now he moans by the door until you come home. Where have you been, love ?"
“You know very well where I was.”
"Damn right. With Tommy, dear Tommy. Tell me, treacle, why are my men outside a bar instead of working, uh ? Because when I asked Ollie, he just shrugged his shoulders, saying that those were the orders, but I didn’t give those orders. Remind me who’s in charge here ?”
“Cyril.”
"Very funny, love. Hilarious. Why are my men following this crazy dog who serves as your brother ?"
Of course Y/N could have told him. It would have been simple, and Alfie would have sighed and muttered insults, because the whole thing was nonsense and he didn't really care because it wasn't his family.
Since it wasn't his family, she decided there was no need for him to know the details.
There was no need for him to hear about her father.
So she simply replied that Arthur was in trouble, which wasn't a lie, and that she was just checking to make sure he wasn't going to end up in prison, or worse.
If he noticed that she was hiding something, her husband accepted it, growling when he saw that she was petting the dog before giving him attention.
Several days passed, and Arthur Shelby Sr did not leave. The whole community was nervous, which made the London underground scene much more dangerous than usual.
So Y/N went by herself to look for her brother in the tenth pub he had visited this week, finding him alone at the counter while their father was talking with some men in another room.
"Little sis ! In my arms !" shouted the eldest cheerfully, hugging her tenderly.
“Come home with me.”
"I can't. Dad needs me for a case. A big thing."
"You know very well how this is going to end. It always ends the same way."
"You sound like Tommy… He's changed this time. He wants to make amends, he has the right for a chance."
"He got more chances than Judas got silver coins, Arthur. Please."
"Y/N ? Is that you ? You grew up, I almost didn't recognize you ! Beautiful. When I think that I saw you as a mistake, I was wrong, right, son ? A charming girl, all men would want her."
In that moment, she saw in her brother's eyes that he knew he had a choice. He could defend her, saying that no one talked about his little sister like that, not even their father. He could also keep quiet, nodding his head and not talking about her marriage.
But he had drunk a lot, and despite all this time he still had resentment towards Alfie, so he opened his stupid mouth.
“She married a Jew.”
Their father turned to Arthur with a huge frozen smile, waiting for a follow-up to this joke, before looking at Y/N again with a darker look, understanding that he was serious.
"… A Jew ? You married a pompous old cheapskate ?"
"Arthur, come home with me." Y/N insisted, trying to ignore everything around her brother.
"He's not just pompous, he's crazy. And a coward. And mean. He can't be trusted. I'm sure he's putting on an act to get to us, holding Y/N hostage."
"Well said, son. It's quite possible that's what happening. They know how to play, those dirty rats."
"Arthur, come home with me."
"I knew right away he was evil. Even before he killed Billy and betrayed us. I don't know why Tommy agreed to work with him again, or give him our sister's hand."
"Thomas has always been less clever than you. They're a bit sodomite, you know ? He was able to seduce several of us for sure."
"No… No, that bastard son of a bitch, I'll kill him."
"Arthur, insult my husband once more and you will never see me again."
The threat caught her brother's attention for a second, like the tears in her eyes, but their father continued to criticize Alfie, and as always Arthur followed him blindly, considering that nothing could happen to him if he imitated his father.
A hand then rested on her shoulder, while she hesitated between crying and hitting him. Alfie's smile was quick, only for her, as he held her close, watching the two Arthurs who were surprised to see him.
Y/N thought he would say something, but he only placed a kiss on her forehead, leading her outside, to the car that took them home.
"… I'm sorry."
"Why, treacle ? Because your father is an asshole and your brother is a moron ? I don't see how this is your fault."
“I’m still sorry.”
"Nothing I haven't already heard. I promise I've never slept with Tommy."
"You are not funny." she whispered as she sobbed, letting the tension leave her body. He muttered that she was probably right as he took her in his arms, not knowing what to do to comfort her.
It was not easy to lose a family member. Y/N had been close to all of her siblings, but Arthur had always been there for her, like she had always been there for him, standing up for him, respecting his ideas, making sure he was okay.
She loved him, but she also loved her husband, and she could not tolerate him being insulted like this. If she said she wouldn't talk to him anymore, then she wouldn't talk to him anymore.
So it was a shock to find him in the middle of her living room the next day, holding his cap with two hands, looking miserable and embarrassed. Y/N almost told him to leave, before seeing Alfie standing in the corner, tapping the ground with his cane.
"Well, come on, mate. The lady is waiting."
"… I'm sorry, lil sis."
“Where is father ?”
"In prison, I think. He organized bets, the coppers caught him. They would have had me if… I mean if…"
"If I hadn't saved his sorry ass." Alfie translated, raising his eyebrows when Arthur growled at him. "Maybe I should have left him, he made you cry after all and I didn't like it."
"Y/N… I'm sorry. Your husband is a cunt, but… But he's not that bad, I think. I see that you're happy and he treats you well. I want you happy. I'll try… If he doesn't deserve it, I won't knock his teeth out."
"Mazel tov ! I'll buy you a drink, brother-in-law, but I don't drink and I want you to leave. Well, come one. Out."
Her husband still gave Arthur time to hug his sister, who accepted his apologies on the condition that he finally stopped following their father in his usual bullshit.
To avoid any problems, she only notice out loud after he had left that he had not winced when Alfie called him "brother-in-law".
“Hangover, probably.”
"Or he considers you part of the family now. Normally it's Polly, Tommy, John or me who keep him from completely tripping."
"If you hadn't cried, I would have let him drown in his beer and piss, treacle."
"I wonder how the cops knew, our father is often quite secretive. He moslty ruins everything by wanting more money or insulting someone."
"Oh. Someone who looks like Ollie may or may not have called the police on orders from their boss." Alfie muttered, pouting a little.
"… Arthur will kill you if he finds out."
"He said you were a mistake. Nobody says my wife is a mistake. Would you rather he be in jail or at the bottom of the Thames ? Now I'm sleepy, love. I've been running all night to find your stupid brother, come to bed with me."
“It’s nine in the morning.”
"So what ?"
The only true thing her brother had said was that Alfie was insane, but that wasn't a bad thing. His madness was charming, tender and funny, and if one day they had children, he would be the most protective and caring father in the world.
You only had to see him with Cyril to be sure, even if he slammed the door in the dog's face to be alone for a few hours, only letting him in because he couldn't concentrate anymore. cause of the squealing.
"There you go. Before, he stayed on the ground, now he jumps in my place to press against you, while it's me who opens the door for him despite the cold and my poor back."
“Shut up Alfie and go back to sleep.”
"It is noon."
"Come here."
"Very well, damn woman. You will explain to my men why I was not at work."
Since they had all heard about Y/N's family troubles, they adored her, and were quite happy that the boss wasn't there to yell at them, no one asked Y/N why Alfie had been absent. They even gave her flowers, which greatly annoyed the King of Camden.
They didn't ask if he wanted flowers too. The Shelby sent him some gifts, bottles, money and a horse, without having to say why, and Alfie was in a weird mood for the rest of the day.
Y/N only smiled, knowing that he was lost but proud to be accepted by her family.
87 notes · View notes
hotchnisslvr · 12 hours
Text
how do we carry on?
pairing: hotch x bau!reader
rating: m
word count: 4.8k
genre: angst, hurt no comfort
summary: emily was your confidant, your best friend. when she dies at the hands of ian doyle, you find comfort in your boyfriend, aaron. when you find out that she’s alive and that hotch had known all along, your world falls out from under you. can you and hotch come back from the decision he made for the good of the team?
*if this gains enough traction i might follow up with a pt.2 to give it a happy ending*
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The criss-crossed lines of the tile floor blur together as you stare blankly between your feet. The tops of your thighs have gone numb from digging your elbows into them, using your cradled hands as a pillow for your forehead. You couldn’t go home, not until you knew.
Rossi had offered to go on a walk and get a coffee, but shitty lukewarm hospital coffee was the last thing you needed. You hadn’t meant to write him off, you just couldn’t justify doing anything to distract from the fact that she was on that operating table, that Emily’s life was literally hanging in the balance.
The rest of the team was no better off than you are right now. Penelope’s knitting needles clack relentlessly, the scarf inside of her purse growing as her hands keep busy so her mind doesn’t focus on how hard she’s trying not to cry. The last time you’d poked your head up, Derek hadn’t moved from the waiting room windowsill where he’d been standing still as a statue staring out at the cityscape. If Spencer didn’t stop shaking his leg, you feared he would wear a hole straight through the tile. JJ exits the waiting room as often as she returns, her liaising days quickly coming back, making her their only link to the operating room. Hotch’s behavior is no different. His cell rings every ten to fifteen minutes, no doubt the Bureau wanting to know how the hell this could happen. It’s the only sign that time is actually passing and you’re forced to accept that you’re not stuck in some fucked up purgatory-esque hellscape where time stands still, torturing you as your dear friend’s life teeters between worlds.
What you wanted, what you needed was for him to hold you; to place a kiss against your temple and tell you that everything would be alright. It had to be alright.
He couldn’t show favor to you though, not now. The team didn’t know about your relationship with him, though you believe a few have their suspicions. You’re all too observant for your own good. Not much goes unnoticed by anyone. So when JJ walks back into the waiting room, everyone shifts toward her to try and get a glimpse into her facial expression and body language for any sign of an update regarding Emily’s condition.
Instantly, you know something is wrong. JJ’s eyes flit from one person to the next, not lingering very long on anyone. Spencer is the first to stand and you follow suit. You close in, forming a small half circle. Behind JJ, Hotch stands in the doorway, brow straight as he folds his arms across his chest.
“JJ?” Her name is an anxious plea on Penelope’s lips.
JJ’s eyes drop to the floor as she presses her lips together. She takes a deep breath and lifts her eyes, yours the ones they land on as she speaks. “She never made it off the table.”
A choked sob echoes from Garcia as she falls into Derek’s arms, his features fixed as he stares ahead though his knuckles flush white as he holds tightly onto Penelope. Rossi pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed as he mutters something to himself; a prayer, maybe. Spencer envelopes JJ in a desperate embrace, as if clinging to her will somehow make her words any less true. Afterall, how can they be? Emily can’t go down, not like this; not after all she’s survived.
Someone says your name. Your brow dips, but you don’t respond. You need to see Emily. Your feet move of their own accord, guiding you through the waiting room. Someone grabs your arm and you tug away from their grasp, set on pushing onward and finding the OR.
Someone repeats your name, and you can’t help but latch on to the deep tenor that belongs to Hotch. You halt in your tracks and close your eyes, tears leaking over your eyelids and down your cheeks.
“I need to talk to Emily,” you say, your voice small.
The way Hotch says your name is laced with pity and you hate the way it sounds on his tongue. He pulls gently on your arm in an attempt to reel you into him, but you resist. You bite your lip to still its trembling. Yanking your arm free, you press on into the hallway and stumble toward the double doors that read in bold letters: Authorized Personnel Only. Fuck that. You’ve got a badge, that’s authority enough. Before you can push through, firm hands twist around your arms.
You push back, but their grip tightens. “Stop,” Hotch urges authoritatively. You turn into him and pound your fist against his chest, a sob cracking free from your mouth. “She’s not gone,” you cry. “She’s not gone. She’s not—” Your legs tremble with the wave of grief that crashes over you and you can’t hold your weight as it does so. Falling to your knees, Hotch reacts. His arms fold around your waist, catching you as you collapse into the wide plane of his chest. Your ribs ache as your lungs inflate with each rapid, sobbing breath. Your vision turns fuzzy at the edges as you try and fail to slow your breathing. It feels like you’re dying as the waves of grief assail you over and over again, battering you, body and mind, in an unrelenting tumultuous current of sorrow and pain as the wicked reality sets in. Emily is dead. You barely feel Hotch’s hand in your hair cradling you against him. As he murmurs apologies and sympathies in your ear, you don’t see the weighted look he exchanges with JJ.
The funeral comes and goes. The day is too beautiful for Emily not to be there to see it. You sit on the porch at Hotch’s house, breathing in and out as you watch the daffodils dance in the afternoon breeze. You smooth the fabric of your dress down over your knees, the satin wrinkled from the way you clenched it during the service.
Your phone buzzes in your purse. The number of messages and phone calls you’d ignored continues to rise, but you can’t bring yourself to express any gratitude for their condolences. You can’t bring yourself to feel anything except the crushing weight of grief.
You picture Emily sitting beside you on the wooden porch swing. Last Summer, you’d sat here with her as the team gathered for a Fourth of July Barbecue. Jack had made invitations and delivered them to the team at the office. He’d been so excited and so were you. It was around then that you and Hotch had begun to toe the line between colleagues and something more; a morning coffee dropped off at your desk here, an extra visit to his office there. You’d sat here with Emily watching as Rossi backseat barbecued Hotch on the grill. She’d caught you smiling at him alongside the fondness in your gaze. She’d clocked you from a mile away.
“Oh, you’ve got it bad.” Her laugh had tinkled from lips, ringing like a morning bell.
“What are you talking about?” you’d asked, trying and failing to school your features into a mask of indifference.
“I’ll tell ya, it’s a big swing, but if you hit it, that’s a home run for sure.”
You’d nearly choked on your lemonade, coughing and gasping; drawing the attention of the others.
“Wrong pipe!” Emily had called while pointing at you and clapping a hand against your back. “She’s good!” In a low voice she’d added, “Though I’m sure with him, it’d be just the right pipe.”
You’d elbowed her in the ribs and bust out laughing together. For the longest time after that, she’d been the only person that you’d confided in about your burgeoning feelings and relationship with Aaron. Through that, she’d quickly become your closest friend on the team.
A couple of kids shout at one another, laughing, as they ride past the house on their bicycles; shattering the memory. You dip into your purse and withdraw your phone, pressing a button and powering it down. The screen door creaks on its hinges and Hotch steps down onto the porch, the planks shifting beneath his weight. He sits beside you and offers you a mug. The scent of coffee reaches your nose and you accept it, thanking him quietly. Aaron had taken his suit jacket off and loosened his tie. He stretches an arm around your shoulder and draws closer to you. He kisses the side of your face and stares out at the yard.
“It was a beautiful service,” he offers.
“Aaron, don’t.” You close your eyes and take a breath. You hold the coffee with both hands, rubbing your thumbs up and down the warm ceramic. “Please don’t make small talk with me about this like it’s all so fucking normal.”
He sighs and apologizes. “I just wish I could make all of your hurt go away.”
A shudder runs through you and you nestle in closer to him, taking a sip of your coffee as you do so. “I don’t think it’ll ever go away.”
Her brown eyes stare back at you, though the photo paper could never capture the light that flared within them when she was alive. Of all the faces you could have seen up on this wall, you’d never anticipated hers being one of them.
Every day you stop by her portrait on the wall of fallen heroes. People talk about her less and less around the office. The team doesn’t stop, though your conversations are stilted and often end in awkward silences; no one really knowing how to carry on once the conversation slows to a natural end. You speak often with Spencer about the ways in which you’ve been grieving, the sleepless nights and early mornings. Derek is reserved. He’s angry above anything else. He feels betrayed by Emily and a part of you understands that. She’d not told any of you after all. You’d be remiss if you’d not also spent some of your time grieving in anger. Of all the times you’d stayed late after work, gotten together to hang out on weekends, or gone out for drinks, she had never indicated anything was wrong. You had told her everything, confided every one of your fears and hopes into her and you’d thought that the street had been going both ways. God, you’d never been so wrong.
“Conference room in fifteen,” Aaron says as he walks past you, hand grazing your back as he does so.
You smile tightly and nod, glancing once more at Emily’s photo before making your way to your desk in the bullpen, ignoring the fact hers still sits empty and unoccupied beside yours. How has it been three months already?
“Emily!”
Your eyes dart around the room frantically searching as your heart thunders in your ears. You feel the organ pounding against your ribcage, threatening to break free of it. It only takes a second for you to realize it had been a dream.
Aaron rolls over and sits up, threading an arm around your back and rubbing your hip with his fingers. “Another nightmare?” he asks, words tinged with sleepiness.
You nod, yawning as you rub your eyes. The dreams are further apart, but at least every other week her face haunts your subconscious. You can’t help but wonder if it’s some sort of self-punishment as life goes on and the days get easier.
In reality, you don’t know if it’s easier or if you’ve just forced yourself to become numb to it all, compartmentalizing the pain of losing your best friend because if you didn’t you don’t think you’d be able to leave the house and do what you do day after day.
“Are the appointments with the therapist helping?” he asks.
Another question you don’t know the answer to. On some level, yes. Talking to someone who knows nothing about you or her or anyone else on the team is good. You don’t have to walk on eggshells, worried you're going to dig open a wound the others are equally fighting to heal by talking about her or how much you miss her or wish she was here. On another level, you don’t open up fully to the doctor. There are some layers of this injury you don’t want to see heal and scar over. If you do that, it’s like you’re telling Emily that you’re over her death, as if it’s something as easy as that, something you just get over. No, some things need to stay fresh, to serve as a reminder that Ian Doyle is still out there. The man who took your best friend away from you and your BAU family is breathing and she’s not. You clench your fists, the sheets balling up in your hands as your resentment burns deep inside you. Yes, that’s it, the idea of him walking around thinking he’s gotten away with this is enough to stoke the flames simmering deep inside you.
You take a deep breath, mentally imagining the flames subsiding, and they do. They dial down, but they don’t disappear. You glance down at Aaron, who snores softly beside you. His fingers still curl around your hip and a faint smile graces your lips. He tries, you know he does, but this is exhausting for everyone. He bears the brunt of it at the office. He fought to be the one to meet with the team and conduct the grief interviews, not wanting a stranger to come in and sift through your friends’ and colleagues’ pain over what happened. God knows how much bureaucratic red tape he had gotten tangled in right after the fact, the higher ups demanding how such a blunder could occur right under their noses. Aaron had put out the fires though, as he always did. Reaching around his back, you withdraw his hand from your hip and tuck it by his side, not before pressing a kiss to his knuckles.
You glance at the clock before lying back down. 4:15AM blinks back at you on the digital clock face. In forty five minutes the alarm will go off and it’ll be another day at the office. Settling down into the pillows, you press your back into Aaron’s body, yours molding against the planes of his as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
His arms slinks around your waist and pulls you in as if you can get any closer than you already are. He tucks his chin over your shoulder and his lips brush against your jawline.
“I love you,” he whispers and you relax into the safety of his embrace.
“I love you, too, Aaron.”
Nights are hard when Aaron is gone. Pakistan is nine hours ahead and all Hotch has to communicate with anyone is a satellite phone, the number for which you don’t have access to. Whenever Hotch calls, the caller ID flashes the word ‘Unknown’ across your screen. There have been several times you’ve missed him due to being asleep or at work. Each call missed feels like being sucker punched. Every time you talk, a part of you worries it’ll be the last time. You didn’t use to have this fear, not until Emily. Despite staring death in the face on a week by week basis, most of the time playing Russian Roulette with the Grim Reaper himself in each unsub you cross paths with, somehow you never thought he’d actually take someone you love from you; that he’d take down one of the team. You never thought there’d be a last conversation with Emily, and now she’s dead.
Dead. The word is a heavy stone, sinking from the cusps of your mind to the pit of your stomach. It sits there, a persistent ache idling deep inside of you. It never relents and it never allows you to forget.
There are nights you dream that Aaron is dead too, that somewhere far away and beyond your control, he’s dying on the ground, bleeding out, and no one knows. You don’t even know what he’s working on and he can’t say; despite your relationship there are still levels in which Hotch’s clearance supersedes your own and the need-to-know red tape keeps you out. Afraid to close your eyes and dream of his unseeing, you stare at the blades of the ceiling fan whirling lazily overhead of the bed you usually share with him.
“I miss you,” you whisper to no one; and you don’t know who you’re talking to anymore.
“He’s back?” your heart flutters in your chest, equal parts excited and anxious at the prospect of Aaron’s sudden return. You push off your desk and swivel in your chair to stand, rushing down the hall and leaving Reid behind as you make your way hastily to the conference room.
The door is cracked and a gleeful sound eeks past your lips as his tall frame comes into view. You slip in before anyone else arrives and throw your arms around you. Inhaling deeply, his familiar teakwood scent envelopes you just as his arms do. You move to pull away, but his arms tighten around you.
“A second more,” he whispers, and there’s an edge to his voice.
You write it off to jet lag and sink into his embrace, though you notice how slight he feels against you. Finally, you pull back and cup his face in your hands. The scruff of his beard is prickly and you laugh as you take in his rugged appearance. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with this much facial hair.” You swipe your thumbs over the hair on his lip and he tilts his head, kissing the inside of your hand. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply before lifting them to meet yours. It's then you realize how tired he looks. The bags under his eyes are puffy and purple, almost as if they’re bruised. His forehead is creased, brow furrowed; definitely not how you pictured him upon reuniting.
“Aaron is everything ok—”
“I need you to know I would never hurt you,” he says quickly, interrupting you.
You purse your lips, brow pinching at the sudden admission. As your lips part to speak he directs a pointed look at you, the depths of his brown eyes wavering. “I love you,” his voice cracks, “so much.” He swallows, his throat bobbing as he does so. “Please remember that.”
There’s a hollow feeling in your gut, a chasm opening wide where every anxious and painful thought that you’ve tried to keep buried since he’s been gone begins to claw their way out as a thousand different outcomes play out in front of you. “Aaron, what’s going on?”
He doesn’t answer your question as the rest of the team trickles into the room, sitting at the round table or standing as suspense fills the space. It’s tangible. Everyone’s posture is rigid and tense in anticipation of whatever it is he has to say.
“Seven months ago I made a decision that impacted everyone on this team,” he begins, eyes firm.
Spencer shifts uncomfortably beside you. Rossi leans forward, fingers steepled under his chin.
“As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood,” Hotch continues and your ears prick at the sound of her name. Why would he bring her up? No less, her condition the day you all lost her. You all know this.
“…the doctor’s were able to stabilize her.”
Your lips part but no sound comes out as you raise your eyes to meet his. They meet yours for the briefest of seconds before flitting on to the others.The next words to leave his mouth sound far away, interrupted by the blood now pounding in your eardrums. “She stayed there until she was well enough to travel…given identities…”
There’s a lump in your throat and you feel as though you may choke on it. Air doesn’t seem to be able to bypass it and you have to remind yourself that you can breathe even though it feels like all the oxygen has vacated your lungs.
Penelope is the first to speak. “She’s alive?”
Spencer’s brow quirks as he tries to rationalize what’s being said to him. “We buried her.”
You did. You helped carry the casket. You felt the weight of her dead body and watched it sink into the earth. If that wasn’t her, what the fuck or who the fuck did you actually put in the ground?”
“As I said I take full responsibility for this decision,” Hotch continues, eyes downcast. “If anyone has any issues they should be directed towards me.”
The blood pounding in your ears is deafening. When Hotch looks up, you search his eyes and can’t help wondering if you know him at all. All of the nights you literally made yourself sick from crying and he held your hair back as you dry heaved over the toilet and your body spasmed from the grief of losing your best friend, he’d known that she was alive. For a moment, you think you may be sick right there at the round table at the thought of it all. Derek is speaking, his voice tight with anger but you don’t hear him. Heads turn and the hairs on the back of your neck prickle as a haunting feeling creeps up the back of your spine.
Turning around in your chair, everyone else stands but not you. If you do, you know your knees will buckle and fall out from under you. Spencer and Penelope are on their feet, moving briskly to greet the ghost of Emily.
Except she’s not a ghost. Her skin is not the cold blue-gray pallor of death, but pink and bright, the blood beneath her flesh very much pumping through a heart that’s beating. Her dark brown hair is sleek and shining, her bangs grown out and styled; her part now to the right. You watch her arms fold around Spencer and the way he squeezes her in turn. Penelope follows suit, tears streaming down her cheeks as she smiles widely. Derek stares on, features fixed in a cross between anger and shock. Emily approaches him with apprehension. An apology leaves her lips as she draws him in for a hug and his arms tentatively wrap around her. When she turns to you, your muscles tense. Those deep brown irises flicker back and forth across your face, searching for a reaction. You don’t give her one. Instead, you push past her, avoiding any and all physical contact with her, and dip out of the conference room.
You hear Garcia call your name and Derek shouts about having a case. You don’t care. You bypass your desk, not even bothering to get your purse. Your keys are hanging on a carabiner on your belt loop. Ignoring the elevator, you shove your way through the entrance to the stairs and move down them so quickly you’re surprised you don’t lose your footing and tumble down them. Down and around you go, your footsteps echoing as your heart slams against your ribcage. You slap your badge against the keypad that lets you exit the building, ignoring the greeting from the security guard at the front. As you push through the front doors of the office building, you barely make it to the bushes before you fall to your knees and retch.
A car door slams followed by the double beep which locks them. You close your eyes and inhale deeply as you prepare to face him, hands clenching around the sweater you were packing. A tear slips free from your eye as you breathe out and look toward the ceiling, as if the answers to why all of this had to happen are written up there. This is not how your reunion is supposed to be. You’d pictured his homecoming for weeks; thought about the outfit you’d wear to dinner and the lingerie you’d bought to wear just for him when you both got home, opened a bottle of wine, and made up for all of the time lost while he was away. That is how tonight is supposed to go.
Now you’re leaving, and you don’t know if you’ll be coming back.
The lock on the front door jiggles before the gears click into place. It squeaks on its hinges as it swings open. Five beeps follow and you can picture his fingers pressing against each button on the alarm system. His keys clatter as he drops them on the table. As his footsteps edge closer to your bedroom, you count each one. The sound that usually means safety and security, now sends a shiver of anxiety throughout your body.
He appears in the doorway, eyes rife with exhaustion and the bags beneath them puffy and swollen. His cheeks are flushed and his nose is pink, as if he’d been crying. Maybe he had been, god knows you had. His eyes flit between you and the bag you’re packing. His lips part and a small sound of desperation slips past them.
“Baby, please—”
You hold up a hand, curling your fingers into a fist. Your lip curls as you speak. “Don’t,” you breathe. You swallow the lump that quickly forms in your throat as you drop your hand, zipping the bag shut.
The inner corners of his brow draw upward and you can hardly stand to look into his pleading gaze.
“You have to understand—”
“Understand, what? Aaron?” You ask sharply, struggling to hold back the thick hot tears pricking the backs of your eyes.
He places a hand on his hip, fingers tucking back the fold of his unbuttoned shirt as his thumb hooks into his belt; a gesture you’re all too familiar with as he does the same thing with all of his suits. His other hand rises to pinch the bridge of his nose. He pauses, inhaling as he tries to find the words. After a moment, he scrubs a hand over his face and turns his gaze to yours.
“I wanted to tell you so badly,” he says. When he looks at you there are tears in his eyes. “I hated myself, watching the agony this decision put you and the team through. I wanted to tell you and take away your hurt, but I couldn’t. It wouldn’t have been fair to the team. Just because you’re my girlfriend, I can’t—” He turns his hand and slams his hand against the doorframe causing you to flinch. “Dammit!”
Your voice is soft, but sure when you speak. “You can’t bend the rules.”
It’s what you’ve always worried about, both of you. You always knew the job could come first, especially with him being the Unit Chief. You always understood that that meant no preferential treatment and that is something you never would’ve asked him to do. You just never anticipated it happening like this, a complete and total life altering mind fuck.
Aaron drops his hand and it slaps against his thigh in defeat as it falls to his side. “What was I supposed to do?”
You cross your arms over your chest, fingers curling over your biceps to try and still your shaking hair. You hang your head and a curtain of hair falls across your face, “I don’t know, Aaron.”
He kicks off the doorway, moving towards you with his hands outstretched. It happens without thinking, the way you flinch away. Pain flashes in his eyes and you feel as though you’ve been punched in the stomach the way it’s suddenly hard to breathe.
His hip is close to yours, his body angled away from you. You can feel the weight of his gaze on your shoulder as he looks down. “Don’t do this,” he whispers.
Your lip quivers, chin wobbling in response to the tears you’re trying so desperately to hold back. “I have vacation I’d been saving.” You pick up your bag and throw it over your shoulder, not daring to look up at him because you know if you do you’ll shatter into a thousand shards of glass at his feet.
As you move toward the door, you pause. For a split second, you entertain the thought of dropping your bag, running across the room he’d chased you around so many times before, and throwing yourself around him. You consider all the things you want to say and scream and cry about; all of your anger, sadness, betrayal, grief, and love. You crave him so terribly in that moment because his have always been the arms you’ve run to when things become too much to bear.
Instead, your chin dips toward your shoulder as you speak, but you don’t raise your eyes to meet his. If you do, you don’t think you’ll be able to leave. “My gun and badge are in the safe.”
As you make your way down the hallway, you have to bite your knuckles to stifle a sob just as you hear one leave his lips from the bedroom.
You don’t turn back.
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mactavishenjoyer · 3 days
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Okay I need a Ghostroach au fanfic where after 09'Ghost gets shot he wakes up as 22' Ghost. (Still not a writer so sorry if it's bad)
He didn't have the pleasure of being thrown into another body while it was asleep like in the movies. He awoke into this world in the middle of a battle. Does it truly even count as another body if it's still him? That's unimportant he just has to finish this fight. It's unimportant what it's for. He just has to survive it. "L.T. what the fuck are you doing?" A familiar voice said, pulling Ghost behind a wall for cover. This man sure looked like the captain just shorter and without an eye scar. Ghost came a little bit more aware of his surroundings...well he actually became aware that Roach wasn't with them "Where's Roach?" Ghost said hoping that he imagined him getting shot. Please let that have been all in his head. "Who?" Soap responded with a look of confusion.
It had been weeks since Ghost had woken up in the world. Weeks of searching for Roach. He never joined 141 which means he has to be still out there or he died before he even got the chance. Ghost tried shaking the thoughts out his head. Roach had to still be alive, he was Roach after all. He sat across Price, his heart racing. "I couldn't find a Sergeant Gary "Roach" Sanderson." As those words left prices's mouth Ghost felt his heart sink, maybe Roach never existed here. Would that be better? He would have never had to go through all the pain he did before but Ghost deep in his heart was selfish, he wanted to hold Roach. "But I did find a Gary Sanderson" price slid over the files in his hand "According to our records he was dishonorably discharged from the military. So are you going to tell me what this is about?"
"Unimportant to any mission, sir."
"that wasn't what I asked."
"He's someone important to Simon Riley. I need to make sure he's safe."
Everything felt like a blur after that. All Ghost could focus on was the fact Gary was alive. Price gave Ghost his address and within the same week Ghost was standing outside his door. His heart was racing as he waited for someone to answer the door. After seconds that felt like minutes someone did. Gary had all the same scars....every single one his had. "Oh, I wasn't expecting a visit from the grim reaper! May I help you?" Gary's laugh even sounded the same. "Gary I-" ghost thoughts were cut off by the sight of a little girl hugging Gary's leg, She had Gary's eyes,"You have a daughter?". Gary turned to his little girl, telling her to go play upstairs. She ran off and Gary turned back to Ghost
"You are standing like a military douche. What the fuck do you want?"
"to talk."
"oh, really? Someone that comes to talk comes with a gun? You know you assholes won't fucking leave me alone. I haven't said shit about what happened so go tell general s-" Gary's rant was cut off by Ghost kissing him. Ghost slammed the door shut as his mask fell to the floor. "Simon?" Gary said, stomach turning as if seeing a ghost"I thought you where fucking dead.".
They sat in Gary's living room, drinking tea. "Why didn't you fucking tell me you where alive?" Gary looked as if he was fighting back tears "I got told in a fucking hallway at 20 that the love of my fucking life was murdered with his family.". "I'm sorry " was all ghost could muster to say, knowing that the truth was unbelievable. But wasn't that what Gary was upset at? That Ghost never told the truth? "It's been 10 fucking years, Simon. A sorry isn't going to fucking cut it.". Ghost felt as if he was choking "who did you have a kid with?" Ghost said trying to ignore that he can't truly apologize for what he did to this Gary because it wasn't him that did it. "...just like you... never liked the attention being on you, huh?" Gary's voice was softer now "After I thought you died, I threw myself at anyone who would have me to try to distract myself. I thought it was easier....until I got a Superior's wife pregnant. I didn't know she was married. I got dishonorably discharged. Beaten almost to death and then paid to keep quiet about it. Riley thinks her mom is dead. You know .... since lying about people being dead always makes things easier." Ghost would roll his eyes at that last sentence if it wasn't for the realization that Gary named his daughter Riley. "Her name's Riley?" Ghost felt emotions he didn't think he was capable of feeling anymore.
"Yes, named after my dead boyfriend who's sitting in my living room....why are you here?"
"because I love you."
Or something like that. This is long enough and I'm not a writer so idk how to end it. Especially since the angst In me wants to trick y'all into thinking everything is going to be happy just to kill roach.
Part 2 of the idea
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lavenderstobins · 2 days
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Hopper’s talking to her, telling her to breathe, but all Nancy can focus on is Robin, dead, in front of her.
She barely registers when Steve stumbles in. Hopper’s moving before she processes it, trying to gently escort him out.
Steve’s a mess. Wild-eyed, his face streaked with tears, hair unkept.
“I need to say goodbye,” Steve begs, fighting against Hopper’s steady arms. “I need—I need to tell her I love her and that I’m sorry and—and I need to find the fuckers that did this—”
Steve knows about her ‘gift’. He looks directly at her, a plea on his face.
Nancy thinks of Barb, still and silent in her arms.
“Let him stay,” she croaks.
“Wheeler—” Hopper starts. She shakes her head.
“Let him stay.”
Hopper relents. Steve scrambles over, faltering when he sees Robin.
Nancy understands. It’s not a pretty sight.
At open-casket funerals, the deceased undergoes hours of careful preparation to make them look presentable. To make sure they look as close to how they did in life as possible.
That is not the case here. Robin’s skin is a sickly white, freckles stark in contrast. Ugly purple marks cover her throat and neck. Strangulation, from the looks of it. Nancy doesn’t want to imagine it.
Steve strokes Robin’s hair, the gentlest Nancy has ever seen him. Fresh tears have started running down his cheeks.
“Steve,” she starts, equally gentle, because how can she tell him this? How can she describe the sensation of having your whole world stopped, started, and stopped again?
“I know,” he says, not taking his eyes off Robin. “I’m ready.”
She wants to say, You can never be ready.
Instead, she nods, and taps one finger to Robin’s cheek.
The effect is instant. Robin gasps, eyes flying open, one hand automatically going to her throat.
Steve lets out a sob, pressing his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should’ve been there, I’m sorry—”
“Dingus,” Robin rasps, and she’s crying too. Nancy averts her eyes, a pang in her chest.
Hopper must decide to let them have their moment because nearly five minutes pass before he comes over. He asks Robin questions, the standard procedure, and Robin answers shakily, her hand held in Steve’s.
Robin didn’t fully see her attacker. It was a man, that much she knows. She’d managed to flee the initial attack but he’d caught up to her when she tried to lose him in the woods. She thinks he was less prepared because of it, but things are hazy. She remembers being pinned down, hands around her throat, and these cold, terrifying eyes. His face had been covered with only his eyes visible.
Hopper takes notes, frowning. Finally, the questioning comes to an end, Robin out of answers. His head slowly swivels to Nancy.
Steve’s still clutching Robin. They both look at her with a sad understanding on their faces.
“I’ll find him,” Steve says quietly, resting his forehead against the top of Robin’s head. “I’ll find whoever did this and I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.”
Robin just smiles sadly. She murmurs something too quiet for Nancy to hear, but she doesn’t miss the devastation that flits across Steve’s face.
They look at her expectantly, both clearly trying hard not to cry. They’re still holding hands.
Nancy can’t do it.
“Wheeler,” Hopper says, low, a warning.
“I can’t,” Nancy whispers. She knows what will happen if she lets Robin live. The same thing that happened when she couldn’t let Will die again, when she couldn’t let Eddie die again.
The universe rights its wrongs in its own way. If it can’t have its death, it will take another. When she’d brought Will back and kept him alive, a well-loved local, Benny Hammond, had died. When she’d let Eddie live, Jonathan and Will’s stepfather Bob had a heart attack out of nowhere. There’d been seemingly nothing to cause either death.
If she lets Robin live, someone else will die in her place.
The worst part is that Nancy finds she doesn’t care.
She can’t let Steve lose his best friend the way she lost hers. She can’t let this be the end of Robin’s life.
Kind, funny Robin, who has always been so full of life, so loved by everyone around her. Nancy’s never gotten the chance to really get to know her, but she’s always wished she had.
“I can’t,” she repeats, her voice steadier now. “I won’t. It’s not fair.”
“Life isn’t fair.” Hopper’s voice is kind. She doesn’t deserve it.
“I won’t do it. Steve—”
Steve looks stunned, a hopeful expression dawning on his face. Hopper looks at him and sighs.
“I can’t force you. But… well, on your own head be it.” He shakes his head. “I’m going back to the station. You’re causing me a lot of paperwork.”
As he leaves, Steve turns to her. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you—”
“As far as you’re concerned, Robin survived the attack.” Nancy keeps her voice steady, avoiding eye contact with both of them. “Robin…”
Robin’s eyes are on her. Curious, focused, like they’re studying her. Nancy swallows hard.
“Robin, you should avoid going anywhere alone for a while. If your attacker thinks you could identify him he’ll try and finish the job. I won’t be able to do this twice.”
Robin gives a short nod. “I’ll lay low for a while.”
Her voice is soft, raspy. Steve, maybe afraid Nancy might suddenly change her mind, thanks her one last time before helping Robin up and ushering her out.
Nancy watches their retreating backs, a heavy weight in her chest.
In the nicest way possible, she hopes she never sees Robin again.
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Dark Moon | Chapter Fifteen - The End
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Pairing | yandere!Jimin x Reader
Word Count | 3k
Warnings | +18, yandere themes, wedding, Stockholm syndrome, murder, smut, messy bathroom sex, fingering, blowjob, teasing, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, body worship and kissing, this is not for minors
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This fanfiction is yandere, if you don't like the genre, don't read and if you are not of age, don't read.
I don't want to hear any complaints in the comments, thank you.
This does not reflect my way of thinking or living at all, it is just a work of fiction, it is like watching a horror movie, many of us love horror movies, but we would never dream of what we see in those movies happening in reality as well.
Simply put, this story was written for entertainment purposes, it should not be seen as a reflection of my values, opinions or morals. I absolutely do not condone such acts.
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⤷ Summary | She just wanted to escape her past, take charge of her life and break out of her steel cage, praying in God for a miracle that could change her life for good.
And her prayers were heard, but it was not the Divine that answered her.
That was certainly the devil in the guise of an angel, she thought as those corrupted and empty eyes searched her soul with extreme voracity.
He turned a sweet, false smile on her, before pushing her into the abyss.
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➢ Author's Note | Hi, guys ❤️
This is the last chapter of Dark Moon, a story that I wrote in a period that was not easy for me, in fact the dark tones come from the negative emotions that pushed me to write this story to test myself with this genre, so I really hope you enjoyed Dark Moon, I would be happy to receive comments about it ❤️
As for possible extras, who knows, maybe they will come just like what happened with Happy Ending 😉
Also, it was really nice to be able to talk with you! Thanks for all the love and support, see you with the next story I am already writing 🤧
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Taglist: @katherine-kookie, @dragons-flare, @m00njinnie, @seokjins-luigi, @pjmsneverland, @jimincrystal, @ajkwww, @ungodlyjoon , @hecateslittlewitchling , @namjoonsbuspass , @darkuni63 , @xicanacorpse , @jiminismine4ever , @btssimpjaneth , @antisocial-mochi267 , @reallygenerouskoala , @velvet-stardust2002 , @angelicsmilesworld
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Chapter List - Previous - The End
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"Where is Y/N?" asked Taehyung, receiving a glare from Jimin.
"Stop it, Taehyung, she's afraid of him, and I'm certainly not going to force her to attend because you think it will help with her trauma," hissed Jimin, looking around.
He had let Y/N fall asleep in his arms before silently leaving the apartment to finish her uncle's execution.
Taehyung wished she was there, he argued that seeing her own nightmare die would help her heal faster, Jimin on the other hand was convinced of the exact opposite, she had run away from the bastard, dead or alive she never wanted to see him again, that was the gist.
"It was just an idea..." put the other's hands forward.
"Jimin, everything is ready" Hoseok warned him electrified, it had been a long time since they had proceeded with a real execution and this was the time to enjoy another one.
The boy nodded as he continued down the dark corridors of their base with the others, the room they were holding the man in was a cell like any other, it was only the way they were torturing him that differentiated the prisoner from the others.
Mikkel was bound hand and foot by a thick rope, which went to twist around his neck with a noose still wide enough not to suffocate him completely.
He stared at everyone with spirited eyes, and Jimin noted how disgusting and repulsive the man looked more like an ugly gray rat.
"You have the wrong man, I'm just a loan shark, the Kims would never say anything important to me," he licked his lips nervously, he had a horrible accent.
Jimin walked around him, his shiny black shoes made a sinister ticking sound.
Heel, toe.
Heel, toe.
He stopped in front of him again, bending at the knees.
"The Kims are our allies, we don't need to know shit about them," he said squaring him with disgust, "And we certainly wouldn't use shit like you for our own purposes."
Mikkel looked around agitatedly, Jungkook rocked back on his own feet, smiling cheekily at the man.
"Then why am I here?"
Jimin's eyes thinned, "Let's clean up, Mik," he said making the man fidget, "Does the name Y/N mean anything to you?"
Surprise and panic soon won out and he began to struggle, unaware of the damage he was doing to himself, the more he moved the tighter the noose around his neck tightened.
"You thought you were getting off scot-free by abusing a little girl who was part of your own family, threatening her parents and then making the poor mother look like a fool," Jimin began, approaching until he could read every distorted thought in the man's increasingly swollen eyes, "You took advantage of their miserable financial status and threatened to throw them out on the street if they talked, even naming certain acquaintances, who didn't like the publicity you gave, so... one way or another you're dead anyway," he growled, grabbing the knot and pulling to speed up the choking.
Mikkel coughed airlessly, tried to wriggle and escape Jimin's death grip, but to no avail, the more he moved, the more he urged Jimin not to let go.
"That's nothing compared to what you put Y/N through, you son of a bitch," he shouted, throwing a punch at the man now with no more air in his lungs, blood began to come out of his nose as his body was invaded by jerks and survival impulses, he cried out mute for mercy, but the boy's eyes remained stone.
Jimin backed away retrieving his gun, but when he pointed it at the monster he had second thoughts, with one bullet he would have died too quickly, so he just watched along with the others as he suffocated in the ropes and his own blood, in the last moments when Mikkel looked desperately at Jimin once again, the latter smiled.
"Y/N, my wife, sends her regards and wishes you to burn in hell," he greeted him amusedly, emphasizing how Y/N was now simply his.
When they saw the eyes turn glassy, with no more life behind them, Hoseok huffed.
"That was too fast," Jungkook commented, pulling out his own gun and unloading it on the body to make sure he was really dead.
"He's dead, that's all that matters," said Seokjin who had been merely observing in silence, "Get rid of the corpse cleanly, I don't want any surprises," he ordered, but everyone's attention was on Jimin.
"Wife?" asked Taehyung with a smile.
"He actually said wife, this jerk decided to settle his head," laughed Namjoon, interrupted by Yoongi who also laughed.
"No, that little head will always be crazy."
"So you're getting married with a celebration?" asked Jungkook, joining the confused chorus of questions and jokes.
"My guess is he's already signed papers, he seemed overconfident," reasoned Hoseok, both Jin and Jimin were getting nervous.
"Listen, you-!"
"When and how they get married is Jimin's and Y/N's business, as for us, we must realize that there is a new family member to protect," he clapped his hands vigorously, "Now, get rid of the body," he repeated.
Jimin nodded in Jin's direction in thanks, then turned to Jungkook, "Make sure that not even the bones can lie on this earth, you understand what I mean, right?"
Of course it was clear, the seriousness and awareness of having to do one's duty well had returned to the room.
The ceremony had been small and for a few friends, Jimin did not like to show off, and Y/N could not bear to see unfamiliar and dangerous faces staring back at her.
The wedding dress, on the contrary, was wonderful.
It wrapped the girl's figure gracefully, her shoulders were uncovered thanks to the bodice's boat neckline, which was white with light blue highlights and had many small flowers woven along the neckline and hips, it then continued with a long skirt made of silk and fluffy tulle, with her hair made slightly wavy and scattered loosely on her back and the thin, shiny tiara placed on her head, everyone had agreed that she was an adorable and pure fairy.
Jimin, for his part, in his sleek, total-black smoking with crystals sprinkled across his chest and shoulders, had never taken his eyes off her, like a hawk aiming at its seductive prey. There was a change in him too, his hair had been dyed blond, for Y/N had been like seeing a fallen angel waiting for her at the altar, she had smiled shyly at him arm in arm with Seokjin.
It had been frightening to meet him again initially, but in time she had realized that if taken gently, Jin was by no means evil and had always been very calm and gentle with her.
Now she was there, joining her hand with Jimin's, and emotion invaded her.
She paid no attention to the priest's words, the ritual they were performing was being handed down in the Bangtan band, it was the man who had to do everything, the bride simply had to say,
"Yes, I do."
It had been so easy to say it, no hesitation, no flash of fear, she looked at Jimin through the foolish eyes of love, he lowered himself onto her who discovered she was swept up in a fiery and electrifying cloud, when their lips touched Jimin held back no longer, he held her by the waist and pulled her into a deep and dead-end kiss, he was possessive and passionate and sought her out every time she tried to catch a breath.
The few guests applauded, giggling at the fierce hunger of the blond, who let her go only to gaze contentedly at those swollen, scarlet lips of kisses.
But it was not his intention to stop there.
They accepted the congratulations of the Bangtans and some of their relatives, Y/N met Taehyung's mother and father and found them a delightful couple, almost unable to believe it when the father said with some pride that he too had been a Bangtan before his son.
In contrast, there was no sign of Jimin's parents, probably not even knowing that their son was alive.... From what Jimin had confessed to her one night, his mother was a street prostitute and his father was a singer who toured the world, Jimin had been born by mistake.
Y/N had immediately rebuked him, he was not a mistake, he was her complex and sweet boyfriend, although he had not been a saint at first, now he was showing her that he was a caring partner and madly in love. Perhaps even too madly.
"Anyway, my husband and I wish you well and happy life together," trilled the woman, gently pinching the cheeks of the girl, who blushed under such motherly attention; now she understood why Taehyung was the most affectionate of his friends, he had not grown up with terrible parents.
"Treat her well, Jimin... it's not easy to find someone who understands and accepts our kind of life," he tapped the young man's shoulder with a hand that was anything but playful, despite the boxy smile his son had inherited.
"Oh, I'll treat her like a queen," he smiled sweetly, but Y/N saw the shadow of something more evil, something that manifested itself exactly forty minutes later, when everyone was now occupied with the banquet.
"W-We'll have to wait," stammered the girl, trembling under the velvety kisses the young man was leaving all along the portion of skin the cleavage had left, free to be cuddled and adored by him, "If you leave me marks they will show!"
Jimin laughed on her neck, "I won't leave you any marks, I just want to have a taste," he promised, licking down to the cleft between her breasts with his erection pressing into his pants.
He cast a glance at the girl and let out an approving cry, he had taken her in his arms making her sit on the sink, her back was resting against the large mirror behind her and her legs were held open, with the skirt pulled up over her hips and the white fishnet stockings on display, all for him and she was so sexy in his eyes...
"You've already had a taste this morning!" hissed Y/N, glancing occasionally at the bathroom door.
Jimin returned to leave moist trails of kisses on her chest, suddenly lowering her bodice and noticing to his pleasure that she was totally naked, Y/N gasped praying that nothing had been torn off, cast a reproachful glance at the man, melting away soon after, however.
Jimin's condition was no better, his once perfectly coiffed hair was now messy and scattered across his forehead, his tuxedo jacket had been tossed into some corner of the bathroom, and his dark, gleaming shirt had been opened by almost every button, which made her quietly admire the invitingly toned appearance of his abdomen, cased with deep attractive and manly lines, with her hand she followed one, entranced, to his waistband where a more than obvious bulge made her throat tighten.
Jimin licked his swollen lips stained with her lipstick, "I can't go back that way."
"No, you can't," murmured Y/N as she got off the shelf and knelt in front of him, who inhaled in eagerness to touch her.
She took off his leather belt and lowered the zipper of his smartly cut pants, watching raptly as his cock pushed against his boxers, there was already a wet spot staining the fabric, and she licked gently there, already finding the taste she now knew by heart and could no longer do without, Jimin clenched his fingers around the edge of the sink until his knuckles turned white, with a small smile the girl also freed him of his men's underwear and finally took the swollen, heavy shaft into her mouth, standing still for a few moments, trying to get used to that girth once again.
"Fuck," breathed Jimin tremblingly, his balls clenched as he registered the image he was experiencing, "Oh, fuck, you're sucking me off in a wedding dress," he cursed, risking coming immediately, Y/N closed her eyes and holding her breath swallowed a few more inches until her nose brushed against the man's pubis and she felt her throat fill with his cock, she slid over the entire length again, licking insistently the sensitive frenulum area, her intimacy was on fire when she noticed the tremor in her husband's legs, giving him pleasure gave her pleasure, it was a sensation she had never experienced with anyone else. It made her feel powerful and weak at the same time.
Jimin moved his pelvis against her mouth, each discharge was a violent lash that he needed, the tone of his voice rose, and, they were both sure, if anyone passed by the bathroom door, they would hear a man enjoying thanks to a dreamy blowjob.
"Y/N, stop," he ordered in a guttural voice, but the woman sucked harder on his entire length, letting her saliva slowly slide all over his cock to make the job easier, in response Jimin grabbed her head, giving one last thrust that made her choke for a few seconds before releasing her completely, "Get up," he hissed, his taut and vibrating cock was already on the verge of releasing his cum.
The girl licked her lips with a sly smile, pleased that she had reduced Park Jimin to a quivering little thing, as if grappling with his first blowjob, but Jimin was not of the same opinion.
"You little bitch."
He made her turn, bending her over the sink and raising her glitzy skirt over her hips again, that position was the same as that night before everything went to hell, but she didn't feel the suffocating anxiety of the first few times, with time she had realized that Jimin would never hurt her again, and now she quivered every time she found herself bent over with Jimin behind her, watching her desire-laden body.
The blond man pulled her panties of the same color as her fishnet stockings, felt her intimacy with two fingers to see how wet it was and found it deliciously soaked and quivering, he hummed with satisfaction at that result and penetrated her lightly, Y/N opened her mouth sighing, her belly contracted recognizing that pleasurable stretch between her yielding flesh.
Jimin removed his fingers now soaked with her wetness and used them to gently caress her swollen, sensitive clitoris as he penetrated her all the way down, slowly sliding his cock into her who more than welcomed it, Y/N's head dangled forward as she responded to Jimin's rhythmic thrusts with hushed, choked moans, the fingers around her rosy bud amplified the sensations of the cock pinning her down in that bathroom, where everyone could have found out in a very few seconds what was going on.
"Oh God ... oh God ...!" she exclaimed unable to say anything else, Jimin went deeper with a sometimes desperate cry.
"My wife," he sighed in her ear, bending entirely over her with his hips clicking faster and rougher, "I'm fucking my wife," he gasped causing her walls to clench as they flickered in mad pleasure, with wide, glazed eyes she listened to Jimin repeat those words, she loved hearing him say them, her heart was swollen with love and pride, now no one would dare to hurt her, ever again.
The blond lifted her up against his chest, fixing his eyes straight into hers through the mirror that gave a sinful image of their bodies joining sensually, he held her tight like that as he intensified the rhythm of his thrusts, by now sinking into that slippery heat breathlessly, his hand worked under her skirt faster, Y/N moaned seeking his lips, Jimin also penetrated with his tongue into the young woman's mouth, pinching a florid nipple as a provocation.
It worked, with a shrill scream between their joined mouths Y/N came violently, clutching his cock that discharged moments later in her belly between thick boiling filaments, they continued to move in unison until the pleasure turned totally to discomfort due to overstimulation.
They sighed exhaustedly, but without moving.
"I told you not to leave marks on me, but you did worse," she laughed wordlessly, observing his devastated state, not that Jimin was any better off.
He kissed her neck gently, leaving her, who groaned annoyed at the loss.
"We have a valid excuse now."
"What excuse?"
"Well..." he helped her up her bodice by lacing it from behind, shooting her a mischievous look, "To get out of here without anyone noticing and finish in our room what we started."
Y/N widened her eyes, "We can't! They came here for us and then I'm too tired now to-" she could not finish the sentence, Jimin took her in his arms without any effort.
"It's our wedding, we can do what we like," he said with a smile that gave him a cheerful and absolutely adorable air, "And I want lots of children," he blew on her lips kissing her repeatedly, she laughed between their lips, unable to retort.
She did not know how exactly she had ended up trusting her fallen angel, but she was sure of the fact that she was now hopelessly in love with him, as he was with her.
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yuesya · 1 day
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The sky is dark.
Even during daytime, the sky is dark, almost as if it were evening. A perpetual twilight. It’s a sight that is very much unnatural, yet there’s very little that is natural about the world nowadays. Not since the day when a horde of cursed spirits suddenly manifested in the heart of New Shinjuku with no warning whatsoever, promptly plunging the freshly-rebuilt city into chaos. And almost as if it had been a signal of sorts, similar incidents had swiftly spread across the globe in the days that followed.
Armageddon, some called it. The End of the World. As the catastrophe progressed, the environment itself changed as well in reflection of the disaster ravaging the now-hostile, dangerous world.
“So this is where you’re hiding, huh?”
Shiki turns around and cranes her head to look upwards. “… Satoru-niichan?”
Her cousin pats her on the head, and plops down on the stone ledge next to her with a gusty sigh. “Needed a break?”
Shiki doesn’t respond to that, instead drawing her legs closer to herself and burying her face into her knees. She receives another headpat from her cousin.
“I get it,” he says. “It’s a lot. Sorcerers aren’t really supposed to do much aside from just killing cursed spirits, but look at us now –shining paragons and defenders of the last, greatest bastions of humanity. What a joke, right? Like, what do I know about running cities or maintaining infrastructure or resource allocation?”
“People are grasping at straws,” Shiki says quietly. Between the two of them… it’s definitely Satoru-niichan who bears the heavier burden. But even so, despite all the responsibilities that he’s laden with, he still does his best to look out for her in moments like these.
The knowledge lights a spark of warmth inside her chest.
“Yeah, they most definitely are,” Satoru-niichan sighs. “And sorcerers happen to look like they have the longest straws, no thanks to the entire mess back in ‘18.”
“… Geto-san’s Cursed Spirit Manipulation would’ve been nice to have right now,” Shiki props up her chin with a hand. Considering that the entire world was overrun with cursed spirits, his cursed technique would’ve been an excellent counter.
He might even be the new ‘Strongest.’
… Although, if Geto-san were still alive, he probably would’ve set off to make his own stronghold, one that strictly, specifically only protected sorcerers.
Shiki sighs.
“Oh, and you know what else would be nice to have? A good bowl of cream anmitsu.”
The girl blinks in surprise at the sudden non-sequitur, and gives her cousin a side-eye.
“What? I thought we were indulging in a bout of wishful thinking here,” the young man sticks his tongue out at her. Food is growing scarce; most fruits are dried or preserved –and that’s to say nothing of how ice cream and such frozen desserts of the like are a luxury rarely seen anymore. Sugar is rationed and restricted, as is salt. “Although I’d take konpeito, too.”
Konpeito would definitely be easier to obtain than something outrageous like cream anmitsu, especially the specific type that Satoru-niichan had once been so fond of.
“Hmm… I think I’ll try to get my hands on some konpeito once we get back to the Tokyo base,” Satoru-niichan decides. Then, with a teasing grin directed towards her, “I might even share some with you if you ask me nicely!”
Shiki rolls her eyes, “I don’t like sweets.”
“You don’t like sweets? Still?” Her cousin shakes his head, “Ehh… you’re really missing out, cute little cousin of mine.”
“Pass.”
“See?! I think you could definitely use a bit of sweetness to lighten up that doom and gloom,” Satoru-niichan informs her, and stretches. “… Man, there’s nothing like an apocalypse to make you realize that so many good foods out there can disappear forever just like that. Once this is all over and everything is on the proper road to recovery, I think I’ll go on a world tour and try out allll the local delicacies I can find.”
“… You mean all the local sweets?” Shiki says dryly.
“Ha! Are you sassing me?” Satoru-niichan sits up straight and laughs, delighted. “See if I bring you along for my future gourmet adventures, then!”
Shiki dips her head and bites back a small smile.
… 
The sky is still dark and dreary. But somehow, by the time that Shiki returns to the encampment with her cousin, things still seem to be a bit brighter than they previously were before.
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its-avalon-08 · 2 days
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hearts intertwined (hamilton x sister! driver!rosberg) p11
chapter 11: slipping through my fingers all the time
warnings - mentions of crash
series masterlist
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The oppressive heat hung thick in the air, a relentless sun beating down on the asphalt track. The air shimmered, distorting the vision of the drivers as they prepped for the race. Despite concerns about the extreme temperatures, the governing body had opted to greenlight the event.
Max Verstappen, ever the pragmatist, approached Y/N as she climbed into her Red Bull cockpit. "Hey schat," he said, his voice laced with concern. "You alright? You look a bit pale and sweaty."
Y/N forced a smile, beads of sweat already forming on her forehead. "Yeah, Max, just a bit warm. No worries."
Max frowned, but didn't push it. He knew Y/N's determination wouldn't be easily swayed.
The red lights went out, and the grid roared to life. Y/N fought for position, the heat sapping her strength with every passing lap. By lap 23, her voice crackled through the radio, a tremor of fear tinging her voice.
"Why the fuck is it so hot? Liam, is my drink connected? have you guys fucking filled boiling water in this or what?"
"Y/N, slow down," Liam's voice crackled back, urgency evident. "Well, that is not happening I'm fine," Y/N snapped back but her breath was erratic. Liam persisted saying, "Box this lap, we need to get you out of the car."
But Y/N's response was lost in static. "Ich verliere es! Ich verliere es! (im losing it! im losing it!)" Y/N shouted. Her vision had blurred completely, the heat and exertion pushing her body to its limit. The car swerved, a sickening lurch as she lost control. There was a deafening screech of metal on concrete, followed by a sickening impact. Flames erupted from the car as it slammed into the barriers.
Panic erupted in the pit lane. Nico, watching the race unfold from the Mercedes garage, felt the blood drain from his face. His heart hammered against his ribs as he watched the plume of smoke billow from the crash site.
"Y/N! WAS IST MIT IHR PASSIERT (WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?)" he screamed, his voice raw with terror.
The radio crackled with frantic voices. Drivers demanded updates on Y/N's condition. Daniel asked across his radio, "Was that Y/N? Why are there flames?!" Lewis, his own race forgotten, watched the flames with a growing sense of dread. "No, no no no no no no what just happened Bono?" Lewis muttered
He unbuckled his seatbelt and leaped out of his car, ignoring the shouts from his team. Adrenaline surged through him, fueled by fear and a responsibility he couldn't explain.
"Lewis, stop! It's not safe!" came the frantic voice of his engineer, Bono.
But Lewis didn't listen. "Not losing another Rosberg," he muttered through gritted teeth. "Not again." He sprinted towards the burning wreckage, the inferno a blur before his eyes. Marshals were already on the scene, but Lewis pushed through them, a single-minded determination driving him forward.
Nico watched in disbelief as Lewis, seemingly impervious to the heat and danger, reached the car. He clambered over the wreckage, smoke billowing around him.
Seconds stretched into an eternity as the teams held their breath. Finally, Lewis emerged from the flames, cradling an unconscious Y/N in his arms.
"Medical team, we need medical here!" his voice boomed through the radio.
The silence that followed was deafening, then finally, a wave of relief washed over the paddock. Medics rushed towards Lewis, carefully taking Y/N from his grasp.
Lewis collapsed onto the ground, his chest heaving with exertion. Despite the scorching heat and the adrenaline coursing through his veins, his body was shaking uncontrollably.
Nico, tears blurring his vision, stormed out of the garage. He rushed towards Lewis, his anger momentarily eclipsed by overwhelming relief.
"Y/N?" he rasped. "Is she…"
Lewis looked up, his face streaked with soot and sweat. "She's alive, Nico. That's all that matters right now."
Nico slumped beside him, the weight of the near-tragedy pressing down on him. He looked at Lewis, a flicker of understanding passing between them. Both of them slid down against the garage walls, their hearts beating fast and minds racing.
They may not have been friends, but in that shared moment of terror, a fragile bridge of empathy was built. The heat of the inferno may have been unbearable, but it paled in comparison to the fear that had gripped the hearts of everyone in the paddock.
credits for gif - @lewishamiltongifs
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tomriddleslovergirl · 13 hours
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House of the Dragon characters x Pregnant!Reader
Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of child death, pregnancy, mentions of sex, mentions of threesomes
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Daemon has trauma from what happened with his past wife, Laena. He's terrified that you'll die during childbirth, and will have a Maester check up on you every moon.
Daemon loves to gently press his forehead against your stomach, humming a song under his breath as you fall asleep.
He'll pick out a few dragon eggs for you to choose from for your guys' baby.
If there are any complications during the birth, he'll threaten to put the Maester's head on a spike if you don't make it out alive.
He'd rather you survive than the baby. You can always have another baby, but there's only one of you.
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It was no surprise that you got pregnant since the both of you were constantly fucking.
b i g b o o b s
His hands and mouth are constantly on your breasts and once you begin lactating it will probably get worse,
Like Daemon, Aegon would choose you over the child if it came to it. You are one of the only things that bring him some version of happiness and he'll be damned if he losses you.
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Aemond has thought of being a father before. Of course, since he was the second son, he would need heirs. He had also sworn that he would be a better father to his children than Viserys was to him.
Aemond does get a bit possessive when your pregnant and would prefer to be the one helps you bathe and gives you massages when you complain about back pain.
Though Aemond is usually reserved and shy about his touches, once he finds out your pregnant, he becomes more confident. Something that should of been a simple kiss, would end up with his hands wandering towards your breasts.
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Ser Harwin probably got you pregnant during one of the multiple threesomes you have with him and Rhaenyra.
She's over the moon when she finds out your pregnant.
Her hands are constantly on your stomach.
Rhaenyra has a lot of experience when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth. She'll be there for you, listening to your worries and reassuring you.
She'll go throw a list of baby names with you, and you'd land on Aemma and Baelon being one of your top picks.
Buys you long necklaces and new dresses that show off your breasts, and gives you a cheeky smirk when you catch her looking.
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deathmetalunicorn1 · 3 days
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Zerofuku as forgotten queen adopted him under her wing, he realizes she sacrifice to ever finding her son to make everyone happy
With determination he found her son playing happily with other children
A reunion between mother and son as she cries hard as she hold them close and open her arms to Zero as a gesture saying he's her son as well and she loves them both
-You could still see him, your baby, your only child, your son, smiling up at you, calling out to you, all those years ago. You smiled softly as you thought of him, how sweet and caring he was, the perfect future king.
-You also remembered how his father tried to kill you before taking your throne, taking your son away, trying to turn him into a violent, evil person.
-You took back your throne, earning it back the hard way, but to you, it meant nothing as you cradled your son’s dead body, weeping quietly. Your husband had killed your son in an attempt to make you halt your siege, but it made you go harder, taking his head.
-When you came to Valhalla, you looked around often for your son, praying he had been sent to Valhalla as well, but with each passing day, each year without seeing or holding your child, you began to lose hope.
-You had a new son, Zerofuku, who could never replace your son, C/N, he became a light in your world, bringing your smile back, even just a bit.
-Zerofuku learned of your son, learning what had happened to him and he wept for you, for C/N, to hear how cruelly a child had been treated and cut down by a coward of a man.
-Zerofuku knew how much you missed your son, even if you never said it out loud, he could see you watching the children playing, hope in your eyes that you might one day find C/N.
-He knew that when you were alive, you had to be strong, reclaiming your kingdom, leading your people to prosperity once again, until you were snuffed out, but not without taking some of the bastards with you.
-Zerofuku left you a note when you went looking for him, telling you that he was going to look for something and he would be home later, before he went to Buddha to enlist his help to find C/N!
-As the son began to set, you started to worry for Zerofuku, not wanting him to be out late, and when you went to head out to go and look for him, you froze in the doorway.
-There, walking up the path to your home, was Zerofuku, beaming brightly, holding the hand of a child, C/N, who was also beaming, the two of them singing a song they had heard.
-You felt like you couldn’t breathe, your heart felt like it stopped as your eyes went wide, your voice catching in your throat.
-The two saw you and C/N’s eyes went wide, “Mama!!” before running to you.
-You fell to your knees, unable to take even a single step as he leapt into you, wrapping his arms around you. It was truly him, as the tears welled in your eyes, and you finally embraced him, your eyes closing as you let out a sob, clutching your son tightly, overcome with joy.
-Zerofuku knew, even though you were crying, you were happy, which made him happy as he wandered over, wanting to ask you if you were happy with him.
-He froze as you lifted a hand to him, reaching out to him, your teary eyes meeting his own as you smiled and as he kneeled you cupped his cheek before sliding it to the back of his head, pulling him into you as well, hugging him close.
-Zerofuku had somehow convinced himself that you wouldn’t need him anymore, now that he had brought C/N home, but as you pulled back, you smiled at the both of them, “Come in, dinners waiting, my sons.”
-Zerofuku teared up, hearing that you weren’t making him leave, you still wanting him too as they both nodded, taking your offered hands and you led them inside to have the first of many family meals together.
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atlabeth · 9 hours
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dance until we're bones
pairing: aaron hotchner x fem reader
summary: you and hotch both confront a lifetime of things left unsaid when a case forces your past into the light.
a/n: so i started this. two years ago. got 1k in and left it, came back now for some reason, wrote like a freak until it was done. lol. this is quite heavy and different than most things i usually write and it is SO much longer than expected but im very proud of it 🫶 i didn't really pay attention to the canon timeline so just know that reader and hotch were in their early and late 20s in law school (90s) and early and late 30s in present day (early 2000s). title from i lied by lord huron and allison ponthier
wc: 17.1k
warning(s): a lot of angst. typical bau case stuff, murder (familicide), implied/referenced past child abuse, reader and hotch go at it basically the whole time, character death, kidnapping, slight mention of drugging, injuries, mentions of blood. i wouldn’t say a happy ending but a hopeful one
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Hotch can barely stay awake. 
He got the call thirty minutes to 4 a.m, and if he hadn’t already been up, he would likely be in a much worse mood. He can only hope that the rest of the team has gotten used to rude awakenings at this point. 
It’s poor planning on his part—he already got out late due to extra paperwork, and once he got home, he found himself staring at the wall, and then staring at the ceiling. If he’s lucky, he’ll get to sleep on the jet. If things go the way they usually do, he won’t be out until their first night in a hotel. 
He started making calls to the team on his way to the office, but to no one’s surprise, he was the first one there. He had time to wash down a shitty office coffee and get started on a second one by the time everyone’s there. 
Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ all have coffees—JJ comes prepared with her own thermos, but Morgan and Prentiss fall victim to the BAU’s supply—Reid is fighting back yawns as he tries to fix a hastily made tie, Garcia is slightly less energetic than normal as she passes out files, and somehow Rossi looks the same as always. 
Hotch just hopes he’s put together enough to make the team feel better about being here at an ungodly hour. 
“Welcome, welcome, welcome,” Garcia greets, setting down the last folder in front of Reid before taking her spot next to Hotch at the front. “As lovely as it is to see all of you this morning, I’m afraid that we’ve got a grisly one on our hands, hence the hour.” 
“Great,” Prentiss mutters. “How bad is it?” 
“Three married couples have been murdered in St. Louis, Missouri in the past two months, with the most recent one happening yesterday,” Hotch says, and Garcia grimaces as she clicks onto the pictures. “Mom and dad are killed, but the children are spared.”
“Awful lot of similarities between the parents,” Morgan says dryly as he flips through the folder. “Looks like our killer has some family issues.” 
Reid nods. “The unsub likely stalks these families once they see the similarities. I’m guessing he was abused as a child, seeing as they kill the parents but keep the children alive.”
“Probably has a grudge against his father,” Prentiss remarks. “They make it out the worst every time.”
“There’s no method to the torture,” Morgan says. “It looks like he’s just trying to make it hurt as much as possible.” 
“Our guy probably isn’t trained in anything, then,” Rossi says. 
Reid flips to another page in the file. “Serial killers like to see their victims suffer. If he’s not torturing the mom physically, then 
“He doesn’t kill children, though,” JJ notes. 
“Maybe he thinks he’s doing them a favor,” Reid says. 
“The unsub sees himself in the kids?” Morgan suggests. “He’s doing what he didn’t get the chance to do.” 
“Whatever it is, we have to keep a tight hold on this,” JJ says. “The press eats this stuff up, and the last thing we need is a terrified city making it harder to do our jobs.”
“Especially with families being killed,” Morgan murmurs. 
JJ sighs. “I’ll draft something on the jet and make some calls when we land.” 
Hotch nods and he closes his file. “Wheels up in thirty. I hope you’re all ready for a long day.” 
-
The jet is silent the entire way to Missouri, full of sleeping agents trying to delay the inevitable—save for JJ scribbling down notes on a legal pad for the first thirty minutes, but even she knocks out sooner rather than later. Thankfully, Hotch manages to fit an hour in himself, though it doesn’t do very much for him. He spends the rest of the time reading through the case file. 
The team settles in quickly at the city’s precinct, and Hotch takes charge as usual. The uniforms are just as tired as they are, but he makes it work. Soon enough, JJ is off to work with the local liaison to craft a narrative, Reid has situated himself in an empty conference room to get to work analyzing maps with Garcia, and Hotch and the rest go to check out the crime scene. 
It’s brutal—much too brutal for this early, but Hotch forces the emotions out of it and gets to work questioning the present officers. Morgan follows suit, with Prentiss and Rossi going to investigate the rest of the house. 
They don’t learn much from the officers that they don’t already know. This is the most recent crime scene—George and Marsha Springfield, undeserving of such a grisly fate. Their two kids, 8 and 9, were off visiting their grandparents in Nebraska when it happened, and though they avoided the same fate, they’re going to deal with a lifetime of guilt. 
It’s all Hotch can think about as he examines the first body. The six children left to deal with the carnage, about their past and future marred against their control. 
All he can think about is Jack, and the dreary fate that awaits him if his father falls in the field.  
Hotch swallows his doubt and his guilt all in one and forces every thought out of his mind. He has to be unshakable for the team, for what’s left of these families, for a city on the brink of hysterics. 
They’ll find whoever did this. That’s what gets him through it. 
They spent early morning at the crime scene, collecting evidence and gathering information from the officers and trying to make sense of the killer’s motive. Progress is slow, partially because of the hour, but they make enough that Hotch feels comfortable moving onto the next job.
Their four a.m. start time was too early to go knock on doors and get interviews, but now it’s a more normal 10 in the morning. After a quick stop back at the station to share information with Reid, Garcia, and JJ and down a few cups of coffee, they get right back on the road.  
Hotch and Prentiss take one van and Morgan and Rossi take the other, splitting up to get what they can from interviews. It’s difficult working with kids, especially with such recent trauma, so they hold off on it for now, allowing the local uniforms that have been with them for a bit longer to set things up before the BAU tries anything. 
First they go to a neighbor’s house, then an alleged eye witness. They don’t get much other than personality reads, but it at least gives them the beginnings of a profile. The third place they hit is their earliest idea of a suspect. 
“Lucas Hartford,” Prentiss reads off the file one of the local officers had put together. “Thirty-nine, born and raised in St. Charles, Missouri. High school degree, but never got to college because he was in and out of jail.” 
“What has he been charged for?” 
“Booked a few times for public intoxication and convicted three times for assault. Once was for third-degree assault, Missouri’s version of aggravated assault,” she says. “He got out of jail four years ago, and it looks like he’s been living in St. Louis for some of that.”
“Assault and drinking is a far cry from serial killing, even aggravated,” Hotch says. “What makes him a suspect?”
“Both parents are dead,” she says. “And from the looks of it, it was not a happy home while they were around. He’s got a sister, so it fits the initial theory of trying to replicate his family.”
Hotch lets out a loose breath and nods. “We’ll start there. Try and get a story from this guy, build a profile, see if it matches the one Morgan and Rossi have made for their guy.”
“And hope we pin something down before more bodies show up,” Prentiss murmurs. 
They’re at their destination soon enough, and Hotch parks in an open spot on the other side of the road. His eyes dart around as they walk up to the front door, filing things away in the back of his mind. 
The house number and last name—1432, Hartford—on the mailbox plagued with rotting wood. What there is of a yard is poorly cut, and a small garden of wilted flowers has their own corner, victims of the winter weather. One car is parked slightly crooked in a small driveway—there’s no garage, so at least he’s probably home. Two potted plants sit on either side of the door, thankfully alive. 
“Remember,” Prentiss says as they come to a stop together, “be nice.” 
“I’m plenty nice,” he murmurs, and she huffs the slightest laugh. 
Hotch knocks on the door as Prentiss fishes around for her ID, and thankfully, they don’t wait long. The door cracks open after a few seconds to reveal a woman—certainly not their unsub, but something a whole lot more surprising. 
You.
Your brows furrow at the sight of him, and Hotch has to hold back his shock. 
You don’t live in St. Louis. And your last name certainly isn’t Hartford. 
“Aaron?” you ask in disbelief, and he doesn’t even have to look at Prentiss to know the questions he’s going to get later.
He says your name, able to control his surprise with only the slightest crease of his brows giving it away, then corrects himself just as quickly. “Miss Hartford. My name is SSA Aaron Hotchner, and this is SSA Emily Prentiss. We’re here with the FBI.” 
Your frown deepens as they show their IDs, and you actually take it from Hotch, skeptical eyes scanning over it for much too long. You glance back at him as you hand it back over. “What is the FBI doing here?” 
Emily clears her throat as she puts her credentials away. “We’re here investigating the latest murders in St. Louis. Can we come in?”
“The murders?” you ask with exasperation. “What— what murders? And what do I have to do with them?” 
Aaron notices the way your grip tightens on the door just the slightest bit, and a shred of sympathy strikes him before he speaks up.
“We’ll be able to explain everything if you let us in,” he says. 
You swallow thickly in your throat, your gaze darting back to Aaron before you finally nod. “Okay. Sure. Why not?”
You move and Hotch and Prentiss walk inside, gesturing with a hand towards your living room as you shut and lock the door behind them. “Take a seat. Uh— do you guys need anything? Water, or coffee, or…” 
You trail off, and Prentiss shakes her head. “Thank you, but that’s not needed.” She takes a seat on the sofa, but Hotch can’t stop himself from looking around the house. 
It’s a small place, one story—likely rented, seeing how paintings sit on countertops and mantels rather than hanging on the wall. It has a certain charm to it, but something is off about it all. 
Two styles clash—decorative pillows at odds with a filled and painted-over hole in the wall, an attempt at neutral tones ruined by dark articles of clothing scattered around, one person’s mess barely being held back by another’s cleaning efforts. You lived with someone else. Likely Lucas Hartford, possibly their unsub. 
“Are you gonna sit down, Aaron?” you ask, snapping him out of his profiling haze. “Or do you want to look around some more?” 
“I’m sorry,” he says, clearing his throat as he walks over and sits down in an open chair near Prentiss. “Just curious.” 
“That makes two of us,” you say, and you cross your arms as you look at him. He notices that you don’t sit down yourself, and there’s still a coldness in your eyes. “You’re FBI now?” 
He nods. “I had a change of heart.” 
You huff a laugh. “Thought at least one of us would be a lawyer by now. I guess not.” 
Hotch frowns, but Prentiss takes over before he can continue on that particular thread. “Miss Hartford—”
You interrupt by saying your first name, and it spurns something strange in his chest. It’s been over a decade since he’s heard your voice. “You can skip the formalities.” 
Prentiss nods and repeats your name. “As you know, we’re investigating the murders that have been occuring in the St. Charles area.” 
“And you think I have something to do with it?” you ask, the accusatory edge to your voice not lost on him. 
“Not you,” Hotch says. “Do you know a Lucas Hartford?”
“He’s my brother,” you say, and your frown deepens. “You’re not saying—”
“No,” Prentiss interrupts, “we’re not saying anything. We’re just asking.”
And just like that, your entire stance, your visage, it all changes. Hotch can sense the walls slamming up around you, and he immediately realizes two things: 
Getting information out of you is going to be much harder than planned, and you’re not anywhere near the same person you used to be. 
Hotch doesn’t know what he expects, really. He graduated with the intent to prosecute for at least a decade—now, he’s with the BAU. It’s not fair to assume you’re that same girl he met in law school. 
“My brother is not a murderer,” you state clearly.
“And we aren’t accusing him or you of anything—” she starts. 
“Me?” you interrupt, and you let out a harsh laugh. “I’m a suspect too?”
“If you would allow Agent Prentiss to finish her sentences, you would be less upset,” Hotch says. 
You glower at him, but you stay silent. 
“We aren’t accusing either of you of anything,” Prentiss finishes. “We’re just trying to gather information with what little we know.” 
“I know my rights,” you say, unflinching gaze still meeting Hotch’s. “I don’t have to tell you anything.”
Prentiss looks at him as well, but his eyes don’t leave yours. “That’s unfortunate to hear, Miss Hartford.”
“You know my name, Aaron. Use it.”
He does, and the letters feel strange on his tongue after so long. “This is a serious matter. This isn’t an accusation—we’re in the early days of this case and we need all the information we can get.” 
“Ask away,” you say. “Doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” 
“Lucas Hartford,” Prentiss starts. “He’s your brother?” 
You nod. “He lives with me.” 
He lives with me, not we live together. Makes him think that you pay for the place, he came knocking, and you didn’t have the heart to turn him away. 
“Why is that?” Hotch asks. 
You look at him, those scrutinizing eyes attempting to peer into his soul the same way they did all those years ago. But Hotch has changed since law school, and he’s much better at guarding his emotions. It seems you are, too. 
“He’s a student,” you finally say. “He goes to community college. I’m giving him a place to live while he gets his associate’s.”  
“Community college and living with his younger sister at 39?” Prentiss is trying to get information out of you, even if it isn’t in the kindest way. Your jaw clenches, and he knows her words have some effect. You’ve probably heard it more than once, the way things are going. 
“He’s getting his life back on track,” you say defensively. “I’m the only one left that can help him, so I am.” 
“What about your parents?” she asks. “Surely they’re a better option than this.” 
“Both dead,” you answer. “And no one else cares enough to help him. Are you here to do anything other than dig up my past?” 
Hotch feels Prentiss’s eyes on him, likely because it’s a step in the right direction for a really shitty reason, but he can’t look away from you. 
“Really?” 
He knows your parents are dead—it was in your brother’s profile, and by extension it applies to you—but it still hits him. 
He met your mother, had countless lunches and dinners with her. Helped her move out of her old house. Spent two Thanksgivings and a Christmas with her. 
And he didn’t even know when she died. 
You shrug and wrap your arms around yourself, and for the first time you look something other than defensive or standoffish. You look— well… sad. 
“Mom went a few years after you graduated,” you say, looking at Hotch. “Dad went five years ago.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Prentiss says. 
You nod your thanks, the notion a bit numb. 
“You never told me,” Hotch says with a slight frown.
“We haven’t talked in ten years,” you say. “Sorry that I didn’t know you still wanted updates.” 
Hotch tries to think of something to say in response, but Prentiss starts getting a call and she stands up. “Excuse me.” 
His jaw clenches for a moment as Prentiss ducks into a nearby bedroom, but he’s recovered by the time you look at him again. Your arms are crossed, but your expression is even. 
“I take it this was as much of a surprise for you as it is for me.” 
Hotch nods. “We came here looking for your brother.” 
“Does your team know about our history?” you ask simply.
“No.” 
“Do you want them to?” 
“...No.” 
You huff a laugh, your eyes narrowing a bit. “‘Course not. Probably counts as conflict of interest.” 
You wait another beat, then ask another question. “How’s Haley?”
“Good, last I heard,” he says, and then he hesitates. “We’re… divorced.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Really?”
He nods. “This job isn’t easy for anyone.”
You look like you want to say more, but once again, Hotch is saved by Prentiss as she walks back in. Her phone is closed in her hand and she looks at him. “Morgan and Rossi have a lead. The chief wants everyone back at the precinct to go over everything we’ve found.” 
Hotch nods again and stands up. Prentiss takes her card out of her pocket and holds it out to you. 
“Thank you for your time, Miss Hartford. If you find out any information, or want to tell us anything else, please give me a call.” 
“Pass that along to your brother, too,” Hotch says. 
You reluctantly take the card, but you don’t look at it. “You can see yourselves out.” 
Prentiss nods. “Thank you again. Have a good day, and stay safe.” 
She leads the way, and Hotch follows after her. He fights the urge to look back before he shuts the door. 
Prentiss looks at him as they walk back to the car, and he can only imagine what is going through her mind. But eventually she just shrugs and pulls out her phone again. 
“Garcia?” Prentiss asks after she picks up. 
“You’ve reached the office of all that is holy.” Penelope’s voice comes out through the speaker, and Hotch can’t help the smallest twitch of his lips. “What’s up?” 
“Dig up everything you can find on Lucas Hartford,” Emily says, and her glance at Hotch does not go unnoticed. “And throw in his sister, too. He’s one of our only suspects, and we need to know if she’s in on it.” 
“On it,” Garcia says. “I’ll call you back when I’m done.” 
“You’re the best,” she says, and then she hangs up. They get back to the car, and it only takes Prentiss all of five seconds after they get in for her to start drilling him.
“Alright,” she says, buckling her seatbelt with a click before she sets her attention on him. “What was that back there? You two know each other?”
Hotch busies himself with his own seatbelt and starting the car, answering as casually as possible as the engine revs to life. “We were friends in law school.”
“Sure,” Prentiss nods. “The way you were around her, that’s not just ‘law school friend’ stuff.”
Hotch is once again reminded of how, sometimes, it was a downfall to constantly be around profilers. It was nearly impossible to keep anything a secret. 
“It’s nothing,” he says as he pulls back onto the road. “We knew each other, we fell apart, we’re here now.”
Emily hums. “Is it too far to ask if you were together?”
“Yes,” he says sternly, maybe a bit too hasty. “It is.”
“Fine,” she says breezily, and she looks out the window. “But that tension was thick.” 
Hotch knows what she’s thinking. Hasn’t he been with Haley since high school, what kind of history did you and him have, were you together, would he be okay to work this case— 
He doesn’t really want to answer any of them. You were a part of his past he hadn’t expected to resurface any time soon—if Hotch is being honest, he didn’t know if he would ever see you again once he graduated. Not after the way he broke things off.  
You’ve changed a lot. So has he. 
And now your brother is a murder suspect, and you could be covering up for him. 
That’s the only thing that should be on his mind. 
-
“For the last time,” you huff as you storm down the stairs, “I don’t want to deal with this.” 
“Because you know that Mia is a lying bitch!” Cleo exclaims, following after you. “I’m sick of you stealing my clothes!”
“I’m not stealing your clothes,” Mia scoffs in your wake, just behind Cleo. “They’re too ugly for me to want anyways. I bet I wouldn’t even fit into them.”
“You are! And you’re stealing my fucking jewelry, too!” she yells. “All of my shit is going missing, and I know it’s not Little Miss Law School, so it’s got to be you!” 
Mia draws out a mirthless laugh. “You are not accusing me of this.” 
“I don’t have anyone else to accuse!” Cleo shouts. 
They both look at you, and Mia says your name. “You have to settle this before I kill her.”
“Oh, I’ll kill you first!” she hisses. “At least I’ll get all my stuff back!”
You clench your jaw as your nails dig into your palms, and you’re about to bite back when the doorbell rings. You don’t even try to hide your sigh of relief. 
“That’s Aaron,” you say as you grab your coat and your bag from the table. “I’m leaving. If you kill each other, don’t get blood on the furniture.”
You don’t give them a chance to say anything before you rush to the door, open it, and shut it behind you. 
“You have no idea how happy I am to see you,” you breathe. 
“What’s going on in there?” Aaron asks, amused. 
“My roommates are fighting again.” You roll your eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’re much more interesting.”
“You know this is a study date,” he says wryly, and you cut him off with a kiss. 
“Still a date,” you murmur against his lips. “And something seriously needed.”
Aaron chuckles as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his side, and the two of you walk to his car. “You’ve gotta get out of this house, honey.”
“I know,” you grumble. “But I can’t afford a place on my own.”
“Doesn’t have to be on your own,” he says as he opens the door for you. “It just has to be away from the girls that are making you miserable.”
“The lease ends at the end of the semester,” you sigh. “Just have to make it until then.”
“You know,” Aaron boxes you in against the car when you lean against the side of it, smiling softly at you, “I do live alone.”
“Oh yeah?” You ruffle his hair with your fingers and grin. “What are you proposing?”
He shrugs, letting his hands linger on your waist. “Just that you hate your roommates, and you don’t hate me. You could spend your time somewhere else.” 
“Careful,” you warn. “You keep saying things like that and we might not make it to the library.” 
“You keep saying things like that, and I might not mind,” Aaron muses. 
You grin as he leans in and kisses you again, once, twice, three times as your back hits the side of his car and you card your hands through his hair. Mia and Cleo are probably killing each other inside, but you don’t really care at this point. They’ve made your life hell for a semester and a half—they can bother each other for once. 
“Aaron,” you whisper against his lips, and he gets one more in between words, “I’ve got a test on Tuesday.”
“And today’s Sunday.” He nips at your neck and you laugh, your eyes falling shut as you lean your head back. “You’ll be fine, honey.”
“You have one on Monday,” you remind him, and he sighs. You feel his hot breath against your neck. 
“Ruining our fun in the name of schoolwork,” he says. “No wonder all your professors love you.”
“Everyone loves me,” you correct. “Including you.”
You steal one more kiss before you open your door yourself and get in, and Aaron lets out a breathy laugh.
“You’ve got that right.”
He closes your door then gets in the other side, and you’re already rifling through the glove box full of cassettes. You pull out the mixtape you made for him for your six month anniversary and pop it into the player, and Aaron smiles as the first few notes of Stairway to Heaven come on. 
“You’re a threat to my grades, y’know.”
“Maybe it’s all part of my plan,” you say. “Distract you with kisses to make sure I’m a shoe-in for this fellowship.”
“A dastardly plan,” he says with mock austerity. 
“I’ve been told I have to be more of a shark,” you muse. “Consider this me taking down my competition.”
Aaron laughs, and you find yourself smiling just at the sound of it. You love the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, how they soften just so, how he acts like himself around you, and not some perfected or stoic image that he thinks he needs. 
Falling in love with Aaron Hotchner has been the easiest thing in the world. 
“Don’t let anyone know,” he says, and he reaches over to intertwine your fingers together. “But I’ll happily fall to you every time.”
“As long as you don’t tell everyone how whipped I am for you,” you tease.
“Looks like we’ve both got reputations to keep up.”
“Looks like it.”
You share a smile, yours just on the edge of a grin as you try to bite it back. You hold hands the rest of the way, just soaking in each other’s presence with songs from bands you introduced to each other floating through the air. 
(It is a goddamn struggle to get any work done at the library with that face across from you the whole time.)
You had sky-high aspirations when you were younger. 
Ones that would make your teachers offer a smile and tell you to shoot a little lower, that would make your friends’ eyes widen, that your father would scoff at and your mother would humor you on just to get you to move past it. 
You didn’t listen. You’ve wanted to be a lawyer since you went on a class field trip to a courthouse in elementary school and saw all the attorneys hustling about, dressed to the nines, making last-minute deals outside the courtroom.  
They were just… so confident. So smart, so stoic, always knowing the answer to everything. The good ones had money, sure, but more importantly they had the power to change lives for the better. And as a kid that had to cover up bruises before the school day, nothing sounded more appealing. 
All you’ve ever wanted to do is help people. 
And as you sit in a cold, empty interrogation room, you can’t help but wonder where the hell you went wrong. 
You don’t want to be here, obviously. But you know the FBI won’t stop bugging you until you give them answers—you know Aaron Hotchner won’t stop bugging you. 
Because god— what are the odds? 
What are the fucking odds of your ex-boyfriend from a decade ago showing up at your door with a badge and an attempted case against your brother? 
It’s ridiculous, and it’s such bad luck that you think it could only happen to you. You’ve thought about Aaron Hotchner more than you’d like to admit over the years, especially when you found your old GW crewnecks, and the box of school supplies you used for a decade, and those photo albums from what should’ve been your golden years. 
It’s not like any of it matters, though. You only agreed to come in and talk because you want them off your back and you don’t want them poking around your house. You saw it in Aaron’s eyes—he was profiling you and your place the entire time. 
If the cops want to invade your privacy even further, they can get a goddamn warrant. 
Your thoughts are interrupted when the door opens, and you hold back a mirthless laugh, because of course it’s Aaron. He greets you with your name, and he has a file in his hands. You wonder if it’s on you or your brother. “Thank you for taking the time out of your day to come in and talk with us.”
“Well, you seem to think my brother is a murderer.” You cross your arms as you sit back. “I’m not really gonna let that stand.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t asked for a lawyer,” he says as he sits down across from you. 
“I don’t plan to be here for very long,” you respond tartly. “But don’t worry—that can always change. I know my rights.” 
“I’m the last person you need to tell that to.” Hotch sets the file down and looks right at you. Though he’s obviously older—more grizzled, more hardened; harsher, sharper lines that define his face; lips set in a taut, unflinching line—you still see that young man from law school. The passion, the care he puts into everything, the penchant for striped ties. 
You wonder what he sees when he looks at you. 
“Your last name wasn’t Hartford when I met you,” he says. “Why is it now?” 
“Not one for small talk,” you remark. 
“I never have been.” 
“I remember.” You hold his gaze. “It’s my mom’s maiden name. I changed it to put some distance between me and everything else.” 
You can practically see the gears of his brain working, neural pathways branching off with every word you say to make sense of it and reason a thousand different meanings from it. Aaron’s always been like that, but it’s tenfold now. 
You suppose one has to be like that, to try and get anywhere with the types of criminals they face. 
“How long have you been living in St. Louis?”
“Seven years. I’ve had that house for three.” 
“Rent or own?”
“Rent,” you scoff. “I don’t make enough for a down payment, and I don’t want a place tying me down.”
“What inspired the move?”
“Close enough to home to be familiar, far enough to not be.” 
“And home is?” 
“St. Charles,” you say, and you purse your lips. “Shouldn’t you already know all this?” You nod at the file in front of him. “It’s either on me or my brother, and we share a lot of the same info.” 
“We prefer to get our information from the source,” he says. 
“Sources can lie.” 
Aaron doesn’t waver. “And we can charge you with obstruction if it harms our investigation.” 
Your lips twitch for a moment, not entirely without heart. “Ask your questions, Aaron.” 
He opens the folder and slides the first picture over to you—your brother’s first mugshot, taken when he was only twenty-one. You still remember riding your bike to the station in the sweltering August heat to drop off his bail and pick him up. 
You had to catch the bus home together, you had to pay his fare, and his bail drained everything you’d been saving from your waitress job. But your dad refused to pay it, and you refused to be alone in that house any longer than you already had. 
You swallow the memory. It still tastes as sour as the day it happened. 
“Lucas Hartford is our main suspect,” he says. “He matches our initial profile—in and out of jail since his twenties, his parents are dead and he has an unstable home life, and he’s got a sister.”   
“None of those sound like questions,” you say. 
“Where is your brother?” he asks firmly. He’s given you a bit of leniency, but you can tell he’s getting tired of you. Some things never change, you think to yourself bitterly. 
“I don’t know,” you admit. 
“You don’t know,” he repeats. 
“I let him stay with me, and my only requirement is that he goes to his community college classes and stays out of jail,” you say. “He’s done both, so I don’t ask questions.” 
“And you’re telling me you haven’t questioned it.” 
“I called him the other day after you left,” you say. “He didn’t pick up, and I didn’t get a call back until the next night.” 
Aaron’s eyes sharpen. “What did you say to him?” 
“I called to see where he was,” you say evenly. “I think you all are wrong, but I wanted to make sure he was okay.” 
“You didn’t tell him—” 
“No,” you interrupt, “I didn’t tell him about your investigation. If I think you’re wrong, why would I need to let him know?” 
He still has that look in his eyes, and you know you’re getting on his nerves with the constant interrupting, the constant backtalk. But he probably deals with much, much worse. 
“Good,” he nods. “You could be putting lives in danger if you do—including yours.” 
“Please,” you scoff. “He won’t hurt me. He never has.” 
“Why do you let him stay with you?” Aaron asks. “You’re straight-edge, he’s a borderline alcoholic that’s been in and out of jail for years. You’ve got a law degree, he never made it past high school. You’ve got your life together, his is falling apart.” 
“That’s why I do it,” you say. “Our parents are dead. I’m all he has left, and he’s all I have left. I want him to get better, so I’m trying my best to help him get there. How can Luke put his life back together if he’s got no support?” 
“That’s an awful lot of faith to put in someone who hasn’t earned it.” 
“I’ve gotten good at that over the years,” you reply. 
Aaron stares at you, and you stare back. You let the moment linger. You hope it stings, even fleetingly. 
“And you’re wrong, by the way.” 
“About what?” he asks. Again, unshaken. 
“I don’t have a law degree,” you say. “I dropped out.” 
And for some reason, that is what gets him. He frowns, and you wonder what it means that this is the most unexpected thing he’s gotten out of you. 
“Why? You were only a year out. You had stellar grades.” 
“My mom got cancer,” you say. “Luke was serving his second stint, Dad fucked off to some corner of the country to drink himself to death a couple months before. I was the only one left to take care of her, and I couldn’t do that from DC.” 
“I had no idea.” This is the first time he looks taken aback since you’ve met him again. “And she’s—”
“Dead,” you supply without waiting for an answer. “Went a couple months after I was meant to graduate.” 
“...I’m sorry for your loss,” he says. He’s just repeating what his agent said at your house, but it feels genuine, at least. 
“It’s been a decade,” you say. “I’m just sorry it was her instead of my dad.” 
Aaron’s brows knit together again, and less work goes into covering it up this time. “You seem to have something against your father.” 
You huff a mirthless laugh. “Excellent profiling.” 
“Child abuse is common for serial killers,” Aaron says. “We find it’s typically the root of their problems later in life, or plays a part in their MO.” 
You stare at him again. This isn’t just an interrogation with Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner—it’s revealing parts of your past that you never told your ex-boyfriend Aaron. 
“Yeah,” you finally say. “Our dad beat us. Is that what you wanted to hear?” 
“You know th—” 
Aaron cuts himself off before he can finish whatever he wants to say, and he lets out a short sigh with a nod. “It’s valuable information for the profile.” 
The room feels a lot colder all of a sudden. “Sure.” 
He still looks like he wants to say more, but he bites his tongue as he takes the picture back and closes the file. 
“I’ll be back,” he says. “Would you like anything? Water?”
You shake your head and remain silent. He takes the folder and stands up, and you watch him the entire way to the door. Just before he can open it, you find words escaping without you thinking. 
“Look, Aaron,” you blurt out. He pauses, and he turns to look at you. “I know this is your thing, and this is your investigation, but I’m telling you—my brother and I don’t play any part in it.” 
“The profile—” 
“I don’t care what your profile says,” you interrupt. “He didn’t do it. He couldn’t have done it.” 
“He’s rough around the edges, I know. In and out of jail isn’t good for anyone.” You hold onto the edge of the table as you continue rambling, needing something to do with your hands. “But he’s working to get better, and he is not the kind of person to do something like this. If you believe anything I say, believe that.” 
“I suppose we’ll find out,” he says evenly. 
He leaves the room, and your hands fall into your lap as your nails dig into your palms. You don’t mean to be desperate, but you feel it. You’ve been defending Lucas at every chance, but you’re terrified of being wrong. You’re terrified that Aaron might be right—that he might be behind all of this. 
For his sake—and your sake, honestly, because you think you deserve to be selfish when he’s all you have left—you hope you’re right. 
You have to be right. 
The room feels even colder. 
Your stare drifts to the one-way mirror, where you know his team is watching. You saw the way Agent Prentiss watched Aaron when they came to your house—he said he doesn’t want them to know, but you think they already do. 
You wonder the kind of things they’ve come up with about you and him. 
-
Morgan whistles when Hotch walks out of the interrogation room. 
“She does not like you.” 
“Did you gather anything else?” he asks placidly. He sets your brother’s file down so he can fix his tie. 
“Abusive dad, dead parents, criminal background,” he says. “Lucas is looking like a stronger suspect. Oh— and she really doesn’t like you.” 
“If you don’t want to go back to building a file on your suspect, move on,” Hotch demands. 
Morgan shrugs, clearly unfazed, but he keeps his mouth shut. Reid, meanwhile, is still staring through the glass at you. You haven’t exactly relaxed, but you’re not as tense as you were while talking to Hotch. You pick at a loose strand of thread on your sweater, and when you pull it out, you let it fall to the floor. 
“Her brother feels like a prime suspect,” Reid murmurs. “I feel like I could just figure it all out if I could talk to him.” 
“I told Penelope to keep an eye on him,” Prentiss contributes. “She’s tracking his cards, the car registered in his name, even called the person in charge of the AA meetings he goes to to keep an eye out—everything. We’ll know if she gets anything.”
“Serial killers want to see the damage they’ve done,” Reid says. “Things are falling apart here—the whole city is terrified. He’s gotta be in St. Louis still.” 
“You’re sure that he’s still in the running.” Hotch glances back at you, and he knows he has to at least ask, for your sake. He doesn’t want to put you through anything more than he has to—not after what you’ve told him. 
And Hotch knows your past is your business—he just can’t believe you never told him. 
He’s turned over your relationship in his head just as many times in these past few days as he did the months after he ended things. 
“I’m sure, sir,” Reid says. “I’ve read over both their files, and Lucas matches with our preliminary profile. His stressor could have been his father dying last year.”
Morgan frowns. “Explain.”
“Family annihilators typically go after their own family for a myriad of reasons,” he says. “Paranoia, to cover up their lies, to free themselves from what they see as oppression, sometimes just pure jealousy.”
“He’s killing the parents but leaving the children alive,” Hotch says. “Sounds like a liberator to me.”
“That’s what I think,” Reid nods. “If Lucas has been banking on killing his father for that attempt at freedom, and then lost the chance?” He shrugs. “That could be why he started going for other families.” 
“Other fathers to take his place,” Morgan realizes, and he nods again. 
“You should talk to her, Spence,” Prentiss says. “You’ve got a handle on the profile, and you’re pretty good at conveying info. She seems like a reasonable person—just can’t accept her brother doing something like this.” 
“It’s typical for someone to deny their family member’s involvement,” Reid says. “No one wants to think their sibling is a murderer.” 
“If you lay it all out for her like that, with facts and the profile, I think she’ll listen.” Prentiss looks at Hotch. “She’s too closed off with you.”
“That’s how she is,” Hotch claims.
“Maybe,” she shrugs, “but it’s much easier to hate you than it is to hate Reid.” 
Hotch glares at her, and Reid clears his throat to insert himself back into the conversation. 
“I’d be happy to talk to her,” he says. “I know what it’s like to be in this kind of position—I can put her at ease, sympathize with her.” 
They all look at Hotch, and he wants to say no. He wants to be the one to get this out of you—some part of him wants as much time with you as possible. But he decides to swallow his ego. 
“Fine.” He nods, and he hands the folder to Reid. “I trust you to handle it.” 
Reid nods too, far too many times, and he takes the file. “Thank you. Uh— sir. I appreciate your trust.” 
“Yeah, yeah,” he says, but it has no bite to it, and Reid walks inside. 
He says your name and sits down across from you. “I’m Spencer Reid. I know we’ve already said it, but thank you for talking to us. It may not seem like it, but it goes a long way towards figuring out this case.”
You nod. You already seem more at ease than you were with him, and it makes Hotch… 
Not jealous, because that would be insane. But it makes him upset that he doesn’t understand you the way he used to—that he doesn’t hold that key to you anymore. God, it feels like he doesn’t know you anymore. 
Hotch doesn’t get why a side of his brain still thinks this way about you. 
“They sent a new one in,” you say. 
“You looked like you needed a break from Hotch,” Reid says. “Don’t worry. We all do sometimes.”
You huff a slight laugh and your posture eases, your expression softens just so. Reid was right, as usual. 
“I can imagine.”
He starts talking to you about the case, laying out all the facts, and though you don’t look happy, you don’t cut him off like you cut Hotch off. 
“She’s pretty,” Morgan offers, glancing at Hotch. “And stubborn. I see why you like her.” 
“Shut up, Morgan,” Hotch mutters.
He chuckles and holds his hands up, and focuses back on the interrogation. 
The rest of it passes in silence, save for the occasional input from Prentiss or Morgan to elaborate on a point. You talk much more with Reid than you did with Hotch, and you don’t stare daggers at him the entire time. 
Time doesn’t always heal all wounds, he thinks. 
When Reid is finishing up inside with you, Morgan glances back at Hotch. “You think she’s part of this?”
He shakes his head. “No. She has no reason to kill, nothing to gain. She talks about her past too plainly—it hurt her, obviously, but it hasn’t taken over her life.”
“What about her brother?” Prentiss asks. 
“The more we learn, the more I suspect him,” Morgan says. 
She nods in agreement. “We just have to find him.”
Hotch isn’t sure yet. 
But for your sake, he hopes his gut feeling is wrong. 
-
Spring has finally sprung in DC, and you couldn’t be happier. 
It’s hard to feel down on your walks to class when the birds are singing and the sun is beaming down on you, when you see students sitting on blankets reading and talking and actually enjoying life for once. 
You’re two years into law school, and it feels like you’ve spent 90% of your time studying in either the library or your room. A bit of a sad existence, but it’s made better with Aaron. 
You’re laying down on a blanket—one you crocheted yourself in undergrad—resting your head on Aaron’s head as he reads a book, the spring sun shining down on you. It feels like the first moment of relaxation either of you have had since classes started, and you chose to spend it together in the University Yard. 
You should probably be studying or doing some kind of homework, but you don’t care. It has been too damn long since you’ve gotten to just sit around and exist with Aaron, and you’ve got at least a couple days until your next quiz. That’s far enough away for you. 
It’s been a rough semester for both of you, between classes and endless homework, between your internship and your endless family issues—Luke is two years in, and his parole was denied, and your dad still insists on being the reason you stay on campus year-round. 
You don’t think you’re pushing it when you say Aaron’s support has been the only reason you’ve gotten through it, your grades—and your mental state—relatively unscathed. 
Aaron says your name, and you hum. 
“Are you listening?” he asks. 
“Of course,” you say. 
“Your eyes are closed.” 
“I don’t need my eyes to listen,” you say wryly. “What’s up?” 
You feel him tense for a moment, feel him adjust his position slightly. 
“I got a call from Haley,” he says carefully. 
Your eyes open and you frown. 
You know the name, but only in the way that you talked a bit about your past relationships while you were still getting to know each other. She was his high school girlfriend, and it was a big deal then, but they broke up before college because they both wanted different things.
It shouldn’t be a big deal now. But he’s treating it like one, and that makes you hesitate. 
“Yeah? What’d she want?”
“…She’s in DC for the weekend,” he says. “Some conference for school. She asked if we could grab a coffee or something and catch up.”
You finally sit up, his hands falling from where he’d been playing with your hair, and you look at him.
“Your high school girlfriend wants to catch up.”
“An old friend wants to catch up,” he corrects. “I haven’t really talked to her since we graduated high school.” 
“...Okay,” you say slowly. “Do you want to see her?” 
He shrugs. “I thought it would be nice.”
“Do you think she thinks it’ll be more than nice?” you ask. 
“I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t even know how she got my landline. I think my mom might have given it to her.” 
Your eyebrows rise. “Your mom gave your ex-girlfriend your number?” 
“It’s the only way I can think of her getting it,” Aaron shrugs. “Like I said, I haven’t talked to her since graduation.” 
You chew on the inside of your cheek, trying to think as you look at Aaron. 
You’ve met his mom a dozen times. You’re insistent that she doesn’t like you, despite Aaron’s assertions towards the opposite—it wouldn’t surprise you if she gave this girl his new number in an effort to push him in a new direction. 
But that train of thought feels a little crazy. You’re confident in your relationship with Aaron—you love him, and he loves you. God, he made an off-handed comment about marriage the other day. You’re not threatened by a girl from his past wanting to catch up. 
“Go for it,” you finally say. 
He frowns, like he was expecting the worst. “Really?” 
“I trust you, Aaron,” you say. “You say she’s just a friend, I believe it.” 
You lean forward to kiss him, your eyes fluttering shut, and it lasts much longer than it should. When you pull away, Aaron’s smiling softly at you. 
“Thank you,” he says. 
“‘Course,” you say, tipping a shoulder. “I’m known to be rational from time to time.” 
He chuckles, and you smile as you lay back down on his chest. Soon after, you feel the weight of his hand on your shoulder. 
“I love you,” he says. It feels more like a reminder than anything. 
You entangle your fingers together and press a kiss to the back of his hand. 
Sometimes you need reminders. 
“I love you too.” 
-
“Four more bodies,” Prentiss mutters. “God.” 
“You can say that again,” Morgan murmurs. 
Hotch is silent as he examines the father’s body. They’ve been so busy the past few days trying to nail down the profile, both on their unsub and geographically, that this happening again hadn’t been at the top of their list. There was a month between the first two, and two weeks between the second and third. 
No one expected this to happen so soon. 
The entire family was killed this time, and once again, the parents look similar to the other victims. It’s the work of their unsub, no doubt. 
Hotch and the team had already been at the precinct for an hour going over all the information they’d found when they got the call at 8 in the morning, the bodies discovered by the family’s maid when she arrived for work. 
An entire family, parents and children, senselessly slaughtered for one man’s deranged quest for liberation. 
Hotch has been in this business for a long time, seen things that most people only imagine in nightmares, and he still has to take a step back when children are involved. 
He sees Jack in every single one. He can’t help it. 
Hotch took Prentiss and Morgan with him to the crime scene—JJ has a kid, Rossi had a kid, and he just didn’t want Reid to see it. They’ll all be more valuable working together back there anyways, and it’s imperative that JJ controls the narrative before this can break to the press. 
Again, Prentiss talks to the officers at the scene and Morgan helps him examine the bodies. After all, there are double the amount. 
“It just doesn’t make sense,” Morgan says as he stands back up. “Our guy is killing surrogate parents to get back at his own, fine. Dad was tortured again, mom was killed with a bullet. But bringing the kids into it isn’t his thing.” 
He uses a gloved hand to gingerly lift the father’s arm away from his body so he can examine the underarm. “Look at this. He’s been stabbed at least ten times, and his arm’s nearly severed from his body.”
“And his neck,” Morgan mutters. “He’s half decapitated.” 
Hotch sets the arm back down. “The unsub always wants the father to suffer, but this is a new level.” He looks up at Morgan. “I don’t think he has a reason for killing the children. I think he’s getting sloppy—he’s getting overwhelmed by his anger.” 
“You think he’s devolving,” he says, catching on. 
“Something tells me we’re coming to the end of the line,” Hotch says. “Whatever he does next, he’s going out with a bang.” 
-
The mood in the precinct has fallen dramatically since the last hit. The uniforms aren’t happy that they’re working around the clock, the chief isn’t happy that the BAU hasn’t figured everything out yet, and the city isn’t happy that ten murders have been committed with what they think is no end in sight. 
JJ and Rossi have gone out to bring in the suspect that he and Morgan found together for the sake of covering their bases—they still haven’t been able to find Lucas, despite Reid calling you every day to check in and upping police presence around the city. 
The rest of the team sits around a conference table, over a dozen coffees between them, going over everything and racking their brains for information. 
“This just isn’t matching up,” Reid complains. “Lucas has just been at home for the first two, but for the third and the fourth he’s got alibis.” 
“What are they?” Hotch asks. 
“He was on the road all night when the third happened,” Reid says. 
“And how do we know?” Prentiss asks. 
“Garcia picked up his debit card being used a couple times from Des Moines back to St. Louis when the third set of murders happened,” Morgan contributes. “Must’ve been a road trip, because there are stops at a gas station, a restaurant, and a rest stop.” 
“The last one happened during an AA meeting he was supposed to attend,” Prentiss says. “I called the leader and she said he was there.”
“Do we have footage from any of those places?” Hotch asks. “We need to make sure.” 
Reid nods. “I asked her to check it all this morning, including the AA meeting. She must still be going through it—I can’t imagine it’s easy to get all that access.” 
“What about a second unsub?” Morgan suggests. 
Hotch shakes his head. “These are all meant to be personal for liberation—catharsis. Involving someone else would take away from the feeling.” 
“What about your suspect?” Prentiss asks, looking at Morgan. “Could he be the unsub?” 
“Patrick Fenton,” Morgan says, and he shrugs. “He fits it—dead parents, jail time, child of abuse. But he’s got two sisters, and his parents died when he was in his twenties from a car accident. I don’t see why he would start killing almost twenty years later.” 
“Maybe we’ll figure something out in questioning,” Reid says hopefully. 
Morgan’s phone suddenly goes off, and he hits the button to answer. “You’re on speaker, babygirl.” 
“I found the security footage from those three places, the ones that Lucas was at on his supposed road trip when the third family was hit,” Garcia says, voice slightly tinny through the phone.  
“And?” Hotch asks. 
“I was getting there,” she says. “Lucas wasn’t there. He wasn’t on any of the footage—his sister was.” 
Hotch frowns. You? 
“You’re sure?” he asks. 
“I’m always sure,” Garcia responds. “And I don’t know if Spencer is there, but he also wasn’t there at the AA meeting—I combed through the whole meeting, and he didn’t show up at any point. Just another guy that looked like him.” 
“And you’re sure about that, too?” Hotch asks again. 
“What is with this questioning of my abilities?” she asks, offended. “Yes. I’ve stared at so many pictures of Lucas Hartford over these past few days that I’ve got him burned into my brain.” 
“Thanks, babygirl,” Morgan says. “We’ll call back if we need anything.” 
“And you’re always welcome in this house of miracles,” she muses. Morgan chuckles before he hangs up. 
“Lucas gave her his card,” Reid realizes. “It’s an easy alibi, but it falls apart when you look into it even a little bit.” 
“Probably seemed solid to him at the time,” Morgan says. “He doesn’t seem like a detail oriented guy.” 
Prentiss frowns. “That means he’s back on the chopping block. We can put him at the scene of every murder.” 
Hotch leans over the table and grabs Lucas’s file, and he pulls out the page compiling his family. “His father died five years ago from liver failure. Hartford got out of jail four years ago.” 
“If he’s been plotting some elaborate murder of his father for years, just to get out of jail and find out he drank himself to death?” Morgan shakes his head. “He’d snap. It doesn’t feel like justice.” 
“He thinks he’s saving the kids of these parents that he kills,” Reid says. “He sees himself in them—he can’t look past his own childhood, and he assumes those kids must want their parents dead too.” 
“He’s trying to get back at his dad,” Prentiss says. “We know that.” 
“But that’s not his main goal,” Reid insists. “If his dad died when he was a kid, the abuse would have stopped. His mom wouldn’t be the battered wife anymore, and he wouldn’t be the battered kid.” 
“His goal has always been protection,” Hotch realizes. “Yes, he’s getting his revenge by killing his father over and over, but ultimately, he’s trying to save himself.” 
“But he didn’t anticipate the kids being home this time,” Prentiss says. “He had to kill them too.” 
“If he‘s seeing himself in these children, recreating what he never got to do, then that means that he effectively died in this scenario,” Reid says. 
“He didn’t get what he wanted,” Morgan says. “That’s gonna take a toll on him.”
“He’s coming to the end of the line,” Prentiss nods. 
Hotch’s brain is working overtime as they work information off of each other. They’re so damn close—they just need the last piece of the puzzle. If they find Lucas’s next victim, they find him. 
“His next crime will probably be his last before he goes out himself,” Reid says. 
“You think it’ll be a murder-suicide?” Morgan asks. 
“It’s common with family annihilators,” Reid says. “Hell, it’s common with anyone who sees no future beyond their murders. It’s their way out.” 
And then the answer hits Hotch like a ton of bricks. Reid is still rambling next to him. 
“If his dad was still alive, I’d say he would be the target. But the only one left—”
“—is his sister,” Hotch grits out, and he’s dashing out of the conference room before anyone can stop him. 
“Hotch!” Morgan yells, and he turns to Prentiss with wild eyes. “Where the hell is he going?” 
“The last victim,” she says as she starts following him. “The one person he never managed to save.” 
“Goddammit,” Morgan curses, and he grabs his phone from the table, dialing Garcia as fast as she can while he runs. Reid is close behind him.  
“What’s up, sugar?” she asks. “Got anymore leads?” 
He laughs dryly. “We’ve got a big one, babygirl. Lucas has finally reached the end of the road — he’s going for his sister. I need you to call JJ and Rossi and—” 
“Send them the Hartford address and fill them in on everything?” she interrupted, and he could hear her fingers flying across the keyboard. “Already on it.” 
“What would I do without you?” he asks. 
“Be half the man and twice as sad,” she says. “I’ve got to call JJ. Be safe, my love.” 
“Always,” he responds, and he hangs up. 
Hotch distantly registers Prentiss stopping by the chief to alert him of what’s going on, because he’s in the fog of a rampage. He’s in the driver’s seat before he knows it, starting the car, and he sees Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid running out after him. 
Prentiss takes shotgun and Morgan and Reid file into the back, and they’ve all got Kevlar vests in their hands. He didn’t really think of that through his haze. 
“We’ve got an extra one for you,” Reid says, reading his mind. 
“Thank you. I— I know what you’re all thinking—” Hotch starts, but Prentiss shakes her head.
“Just drive.” Her lips set themselves in a taut line. “We’ve got a murder to stop.”  
And he does. 
-
You sit on the curb, surrounded on either side by a box of your things. Packing up everything made you realize how little you had at his place. You thought you’d integrated yourself into his life fully, but it really just took an afternoon while he was in a lecture to disappear. 
Summer has fully turned to winter, and you’re as morose as the weather. This side of town looks so depressing without the warmer months to pick it up—the sidewalks are lined with dead trees, the grass is shriveled up and yellowing, and you feel like you’re living in grayscale. 
A shiver runs through you, the weather only partly to blame. 
Amy is supposed to pick you up, but as usual, she’s running late. You don’t know if it’s a personal issue or DC traffic has just struck again, but it doesn’t really matter. Either way, you’re stuck here, and your bad luck seems intent on making it worse, because you watch a familiar car pull around the corner. 
It parks a distance away—there’s no space in front of the complex, and he always complained that they didn’t do assigned spots—and you have to hold back a scornful scoff. 
Of course you have to deal with this now. 
Aaron picks up his pace when he gets out of the car, surprise—and what you think is shame—painted on his face. He says your name when he slows down. 
“You’re already packed.” 
You shrug. “I’m nothing if not efficient.” 
“I could’ve helped you with all this,” Aaron says, frowning. 
“Why do you think it’s done already?” you ask. 
His throat bobs and he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Let me save you the pain of chivalry,” you say. “I’ve got a friend coming to pick me up. I’ve already found a place. I called your property manager the other day and argued my way out of the lease, but I still paid my next month. You’re welcome.” 
“You didn’t have to do that,” he says. 
“You know what they say about a clean break,” you intone.  
“I’m sorry,” Aaron tries again. To his credit, he looks like he means it. Against his credit, it’s about the fiftieth time you’ve heard it from him in the past two weeks. 
“I shouldn’t have let you get that coffee,” you say with a grim smile, “should I?” 
His lips pull into a taut line. “I didn’t cheat on you.” 
“I know,” you say. It’s the one thing you do believe. “I just don’t think you ever fell out of love with her.” 
Mercifully, you see Amy’s car pulling up in the distance. She’s your only friend with an SUV, so at least your boxes will fit. 
“My ride’s here,” you say as you stand up, and you pick up one of your boxes. Amy throws on her hazards and she gets out to open her trunk. 
“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she breathes. “Traffic was awful, and Jake has been so annoying—” 
“Don’t worry about it,” you say with a slight smile as you put your box in the back. “You’re already doing me a huge favor.”  
“I want us to still be friends,” Aaron calls. When you turn back, he has your other box in his hands, his expression shamelessly desperate. Amy glares daggers at him. 
“Why?” you ask innocently. “So I can go without talking to you for ten years, ask you for a coffee when I’m in town, and then get you to leave Haley?” 
“That’s not what happened,” he says, but you’re already shaking your head. 
You take the box from him and smile thinly. 
“Have a good rest of your life, Aaron. I hope it doesn’t involve me ever again.”
-
You let out a noise of frustration as you struggle to get the key into the lock, gritting your teeth as you try to fit it in. It’s always been finicky, but you just don’t have the energy to deal with this tonight. Thankfully, just when you start getting annoyed, you get it open. 
You get a few steps in before your eyebrows rise, the sight of your brother at the kitchen table a surprise. He’s got his head in his hands, and your surprise turns to concern.
“Lucas,” you say with a slight smile, shutting the door behind you, “I didn’t know you were gonna be home tonight.”
His attention shoots to you immediately as he says your name, and he looks slightly out of it. “I was wondering when you were gonna get back.”
“Stole the words right out of my mouth,” you say wryly, and you ruffle his hair with your free hand as you walk past him. He swats your hand away in brotherly protest, and you snort. “This place has been quiet without you. Well— except for the cops. They were pretty loud.” 
“They haven’t been back, have they?” 
You look back at him and notice his leg is bobbing up and down insanely fast, and he keeps scratching at the soft wood of your table with his nail. 
Your smile fades. “Don’t tell me you’ve been drinking.”
“Of course I haven’t,” he insists, but you turn on the kitchen light, then move closer to peer into his eyes against his protests. 
“At least you’re not high,” you murmur, taking one last look before you pull away. “And stop ruining the table. I need it to last for the next ten years.” 
He huffs, and you can practically hear him roll his eyes, but he stops. 
“Did you go to class today?”
“You don’t have to act like Mom,” Lucas says, crossing his arms again with another huff. 
“And you don’t have to act like a child.” You roll your eyes as you set your tote bag on the countertop and begin unpacking the groceries you bought. “I’m asking you about your day—that’s definitely not acting like Mom.”
“Yes,” he mocks. “I went to class.”
“Good.” You glance back at him. “I’m proud of you, Luke. You’ve been making progress.” 
His smile is a bit thin, but he nods. “Thanks. How was work?”
You scoff and shake your head as you put a couple things in the pantry. “Don’t even get me started. I swear, Marie’s going to get me fired someday if she keeps her bullshit up.”
“She’s still on it?” Luke asks, and you can’t help but smile a bit. 
“Don’t act like you know what I’m talking about,” you say. “Just agree with me.” 
“I agree with you,” he says. 
“That’s it,” you muse. 
Your eyes fall back on your bag, and you’re reminded of what you meant to do next time your brother showed up. 
“Oh—” You go back over to the kitchen table for your bag and pull out your wallet. You slide a debit card out and hold it out to your brother. “Thanks for letting me use it while I was up in Des Moines. I finally got my bank to get rid of the freeze on my card.” 
“...Of course,” he says, and he takes it back. “Glad I could help.” 
“I’ll pay you back, obviously,” you say as you get back to your groceries. “I just have to wait to get paid again.” 
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “And uh— you never answered me. Did the cops come by again?” 
You huff a mirthless laugh and shake your head. “You have nothing to worry about, Luke. I think they finally realized they were barking up the wrong tree.”
“…Good,” he says. “I can tell they’ve stressing you out.”
“Like that looks any different than my normal state,” you say wryly. “Besides, it wasn’t that bad.” 
You recall the shock you felt when you opened the door to Aaron, and how nervous you were on the drive to the precinct. It’s almost been a decade, and yet he still has an effect on you that he has no right to. 
“You remember that guy I dated when I was still in law school? Aaron Hotchner?”
“I think? I was in jail, so.” 
You roll your eyes. “I know I told you about him when I visited you while we were together.” 
“I remember you telling me how he broke your heart,” Luke says. 
“That’s not what I’m saying.” 
“Then what are you saying?” 
“That he’s with the FBI now. The BAU,” you enunciate, and you huff. “He’s one of the guys on this case, coincidence that it is. They came here—they even brought me in for an interview.”
He frowns. “What’d you say?”
“The truth.” You pull your cutting board and a knife out of a drawer and get to work washing your vegetables. “That I didn’t know anything, and neither of us are involved in either way.” You shake your head with a sigh. “They must believe it, because they haven’t come back.” 
“What have they said about me?” he asks. 
“I’m not supposed to say.” You roll your eyes. “I think you’re innocent, but I could get charged with obstruction, and I really don’t feel like dealing with that…” 
You trail off into a sigh as you finish washing the peppers and set them on a towel. “I hope they find whoever’s doing it, though. It is freaking me out that there’s a murderer out there.” 
You pick up your knife and start cutting them up—they’re not the freshest, but it’s all Kroger had after work—and you glance back at Luke. “You really shouldn’t be going out so often with this going on, y’know. I don’t want you getting hurt.” 
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’m careful.” 
“I doubt that,” you say wryly. “Still, though. I worry about you.” 
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” he asks. “I’m your older brother.” 
“I worry about everything,” you say. “It’s my thing.” 
You hear him huff a laugh and you smile a bit to yourself. You get through your first pepper before you remember what’s been nagging at you your whole ride home. 
“Oh— can you get the TV?” you ask. “Channel 8, I think. Marcy is getting interviewed for something with her nonprofit, and I told her I’d record it for her.”
Lucas doesn’t respond, though you hear the scrape of the chair as he gets up. 
“Thank you,” you say. “I think they have a fundraiser coming up or something…” you trail off and shake your head as you scrape the cut peppers onto a plate. “God. I need to start paying attention in the break room.”
Another few seconds pass, and you don’t hear the television switch on. You huff and turn your head slightly. “Luke, I’m making dinner tonight. This is the least you could do.” 
“I’m sorry.”
The words come out as a murmur, but you can tell he’s much closer than he was before. 
You don’t even get the chance to turn around before something crashes against your head and your vision goes dark. You feel yourself fall to the ground, and your head hits the floor hard. 
Then, there’s nothing. 
-
Hotch has been breaking every speeding law there is. 
The station isn’t too far from your house, but it’s still too far. All he can see is your body, crippled and lifeless just like every other victim they’ve had to look at. 
It should never have gotten to this point. Lucas has been a suspect for the first day, but they looked to other suspects, got caught up in statements from neighbors and the kids of the victims. 
If Hotch just found him and booked him on the first day, this wouldn’t be happening. Your life wouldn’t be in danger. 
His hands tighten on the steering wheel. 
“I seriously think we’re looking at a murder-suicide if this gets to play out,” Reid speaks up from the backseat. “This is his way of ending this for both of them—the ultimate protection of his sister.”
“No one can hurt her if she’s dead,” Morgan mutters. 
“Hotch,” Prentiss starts, treading carefully, “are you sure you’re okay to lead this?”
“Yes,” he says, though he wants to say what kind of question is that?
You were together a lifetime ago in law school, yes, and he might still have feelings for you that he didn’t even realize were there, yes—but he’s an agent and a professional before all of that. 
It doesn’t matter that you have history. It doesn’t matter that you likely hate him. 
It doesn’t matter that he thought he was going to marry you one day, and then was watching you drive out of his life after he got back with his high school girlfriend another day.  
Aaron Hotchner is not going to let you die. It’s as simple as that. 
Hotch’s phone rings and he picks it up and flips it open immediately. “Talk to me, Garcia.”
“JJ and Rossi are on their way,” she says. “Are you headed to their place?” 
“Yes,” he says, and he puts it on speaker. “I’ve got Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid with me still.” 
“Do you think there’s anywhere else he could be?” Morgan asks. “If he’s going to kill her, he might not want to do it in this house.” 
“Already a step ahead of you, my love,” she says, and he can hear mouse clicks through the phone. “They grew up in a house in St. Charles—it’s abandoned, from the looks of it, some place on the outskirts. Never got another buyer after the past owners moved out. I’m sending the address to Emily right now.”
Prentiss gets a buzz on her phone and she nods in confirmation after flipping it open. Hotch immediately switches lanes and makes a U-turn, his jaw clenching. 
“Tell me how to get there, Prentiss,” he says. “He’s there.”
“You need to get on I-70,” she says, and then her brow furrows. “How do you know?”
“He’s killed everyone else in their homes because he sees it as the source of it all. His sister’s rented place isn’t personal enough.” Hotch shakes his head. “Why wouldn’t he want to go back to theirs to end it all?”
“Hotch.” Penelope’s voice rings out in the car, and he doesn’t even realize he forgot to hang up. 
“What?”
“Be careful,” she says, and he rushes to turn it off speaker and press it to his ear. “I… I know how important this is to you.”
Hotch’s throat bobs and his eyes burn with the beginnings of tears. He blinks them away—he can’t be weak now. He can’t let his team see him be weak now. “Dare I ask how?”
“I found an article about GW’s mock trial team,” she says. “Kind of went down a rabbit hole from there.”
Somehow, he huffs the slightest laugh. It feels like a lifetime ago—it honestly is, at this point. Before he saw carnage and gore on a daily basis and tried to solve it, when he thought the DA’s office was the endpoint, when he came home to your smiling face every night. 
And now… 
Hotch’s spine somehow stiffens, and he knows the other three in the car are watching him. He can’t decide whether he cares or not. 
“Thank you, Garcia.”
“No problem,” she says, and he can almost hear her blink in the pause. “Uh— for what, exactly?” 
For the memory, he wants to say. But he doesn’t. He can’t, not right now, so he tries his best to snap out of it. 
“Keep a watch on the patrol cars,” he says instead. “Update JJ and Rossi on our plan, but tell them to stay on their path. I’m sure I’m right, but we need to cover our bases.” 
“Of course, sir.” He hears her fingers flying across the keys. “I’ve got yours and the squad cars’ locations up—I’ll call them now.” 
“Thank you,” he says. 
“Good luck, Hotch,” Garcia says softly. 
Hotch hangs up before he gets too emotional. Penelope has a way of bringing that side out of him. 
“We’ll get him,” Prentiss assures. She’s been watching him this whole time, he can feel it—she’s been attuned far too keenly on this entire part of the case involving you and him. “And we’ll save her.” 
His knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and for once, Hotch can’t find the words. 
-
It feels like your head is slowly being cranked in a vice when you eventually wake up, a dull but insistent pain. Your arm stings too, but you don’t know why. 
You blink a few times as you try to figure out where you are, a low groan slipping out as you fully come back into consciousness, and you move to rub the grogginess out of your eyes. 
Your arms don’t move. You try again, panic spiking your heart for a moment, and that’s when you realize you’re in a chair—tied to a chair, your wrists bound together behind you and your ankles bound to the chair legs. 
Now the panic fully sets in. There’s a murderer in St. Louis, but you don’t fit the victimology from what you’ve seen, but does any of that fucking matter when you’re stuck in something out of a horror movie?
Lucas was the only one there with you. So either he’s in the same situation, or he—
“You’re finally awake,” a voice murmurs. When he comes into view and sits down across from you, your heart stops. 
For a moment, all you can do is stare at your brother with wide eyes. You see the gun in his hand through your peripherals, but you don’t look away from his gaze. 
“I was worried I was too rough,” he says softly. “But you’ve always been resilient.” 
“Lucas,” you breathe. “What the fuck is this?”
“It’s finally going to be over,” he says, ignoring your panic. “We’ve been hurting our whole lives because of that bastard of a father, and I can finally make it all stop.” 
Your brother is fucking crazy. He’s fucking crazy, and he’s going to kill you.
You’ve spent two weeks telling Aaron he was crazy and your brother was innocent, and now he’s going to be proven right when he finds your dead body. 
You try to tamp down on your panic. You don’t have a law degree, sure, and you never officially practiced, but you’ve been a good speaker, a persuasive one, all your life. 
And if there’s ever been a fucking time to be persuasive, it’s now. 
“You don’t have to do this,” you whisper. “We— we can talk if you want to talk.” You tug at your ankle restraints. “This is unnecessary.” 
He shakes his head. “I know you. You’d run.” 
“Come on.” You manage as much of a smile as you can. “I’ve always been there for you, Luke. Why would this be any different?” 
“...You’ve always been too nice,” he says, and he sets the gun down on his leg. At least he doesn’t have his finger on the trigger. “Anyone rational would’ve kicked me to the curb when I asked you for help.” 
“You’re my brother,” you whisper. “I— I love you, Lucas. I’d never do that to you.” 
“Family’s supposed to be everything, right?” He shakes his head. “You were the only one of us that understood that. You were there to pick me up every time my sentence was up.” 
“I’ve always believed in you,” you say. 
He huffs a monotone laugh as he stares at the ground. “You’re definitely the only one.”
You shake your head. “That’s not true.” 
“Mom didn’t care enough to stop anything,” he says, leaning back in his chair. “And Dad wished I was dead every goddamn day. He didn’t have the guts to do it himself, but he definitely tried.” 
You can’t defend your parents. Your dad’s a piece of shit, and your mom didn’t stop anything he did—but you could never find it in yourself to fully hate her because he hurt her too, with more than just bruises. 
“I’ve dreamt of killing our dad every day for twenty years,” Lucas says. “And that old bastard had to fuck me over one last time and die while I was in jail.”
You remember when you got the news. You were next of kin—your mother had divorced him by then, and your brother was incarcerated—so you got the call from the hospital. You deliberated for hours before you bought a plane ticket to Montana—apparently that was where he fucked off to drink himself to death—and you don’t know if you’ve ever felt more numb than when you were sitting in some lawyer’s office, listening to him drone on about his will and how his estate would be divided. 
“So you killed all of those people?” you asked. “Because you didn’t get to kill our dad first?” 
“I was saving those kids!” Luke yells, and you shrink in on yourself. “Saving them before their parents could fuck them up like ours did to us!” 
“You don’t have to do this,” you repeat. “You’re just letting Dad win. Proving every shitty thing he said about you.” 
“And that’s the zinger, isn’t it? Luke laughs and shakes his head. “He was right. We’re a whole family of fuck-ups. An alcoholic abuser, a battered wife, a nonstop jailbird, and you…” He shakes his head with a sigh. “You should be out there prosecuting people like me.”
“He ruined us,” Luke murmurs. “And I’m finally going to fix it.” 
All you can do is stare at your brother, wide and teary eyed. You can’t find the words, but you don’t have to. 
Police sirens begin to filter through the air as they get closer, and Luke huffs. “Of course.” He eyes you. “Don’t go anywhere.” 
“I wouldn’t dare,” you say weakly. 
When he leaves to peer out the front door, you take a second to look at your surroundings. It takes a second because they’re so decrepit, but you could never forget. 
Luke brought you back to your childhood home—the place in St. Charles, rotten down to its bones. It’s abandoned by now, but the atmosphere is nothing less than oppressive. There’s a reason you graduated high school a year early, why you never came back once you got to college—except with Aaron, to help your mom move her things out. 
You refuse to die here. Even if you have to claw back through the gates of Hell inch by inch—you will not die here. 
You hear footsteps, and when Lucas comes back in, he has a crazed glint in his eye. He shakes his head as his finger returns back to the trigger, and you can’t help but flinch. He won’t. Not now. 
“Looks like your friends the FBI are here,” he drawls. “You said you didn’t tell them anything.” 
“I didn’t,” you insist. “They’re profilers—they figure things out.” 
He shakes his head. “They don’t realize that I have to do this.” Luke kneels down in front of you and takes your chin in an iron grip. “This is the only way to end our pain.” 
He lets go of you then stands up, moving behind you—you want to protest, but you don’t get the chance. He presses his gun to your temple and then the door is broken down. Four agents rush in, guns at the ready. Aaron leads them, and he’s got fire blazing in his eyes.
“FBI,” he barks. “Hands up.”
Lucas doesn’t seem fazed, his breathing staying the same. You stare right at Aaron, unfiltered fear in your eyes, and you feel torn bare. He’s going to watch your brother put a bullet in your head. 
“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” he says smoothly. “This is a family matter.” 
“Put the gun down, Lucas,” Aaron says. 
“You know my name,” he says. “I know yours too, Aaron Hotchner. My sister told me you were with the feds. She also told me you broke her heart.”
“Put the gun down,” he repeats. 
“I don’t think I will,” Luke says. “You see, I don’t go around just kidnapping people for fun. I have a purpose here.” He tilts his head to the side. “But you know that, don’t you? You’re all profilers.” 
“You’ve been targeting families that look like your own,” he says. “You think that killing them will end the pain inside you, and protect those kids in a way that you never got.” 
“I don’t think it,” he bites, “I know it. If my dad had been shot thirty years ago, we wouldn’t be here right now.” 
“This isn’t going to bring you peace,” Aaron says. “Your sister has been the only person to stay by your side through every part of your life. Do you really want to lose that?” 
“Trust me,” Luke says. “I’m not losing her.” 
He flicks the safety off and you flinch. He’s going to kill you. 
“Put the gun down,” another agent warns. 
“If you all don’t leave right now, I’ll shoot her.” Your whole body stiffens as he presses the gun harder into the side of your head, your breathing going off kilter. “Except you, Aaron Hotchner. You can stay.”
“We’re not doing that,” the woman says. Agent Prentiss, you think. 
“Really?” Luke chuckles. “You think you hold the cards here?” 
“It’s okay,” Aaron says. “Go.” 
Agent Prentiss frowns, and the other two men look different levels of puzzled. They obviously doubt the decision, but they don’t doubt Aaron, because one by one, they leave. 
“Wow,” Luke muses. “They really trust you.” 
“Because I know you don’t want to hurt her,” Aaron says. “Deep down, you know you’re not protecting her. Not by hurting her.” 
“I’m not hurting her,” he says. “She’s always been the one to keep me safe over the years—I’m finally paying the favor back. I’m finally taking her pain away.”
“You were abused as children. Both of you.” Aaron looks at your brother. “Your sister always tried to protect you, but it never worked. It just made it worse for her, and it made you feel worthless. You’re her older brother. You’re the one that was supposed to protect her.”
“My sister said you’re profilers,” he says, and though his tone is lazy, you know your brother. You can tell it’s starting to get to him. “Is that what you’re doing right now? Profiling me?” 
“You would never be good enough for your father, and your mother would never do anything to stop it,” Aaron continues. “All you had was your sister, and even that wasn’t good enough—you hurt her just as much as your dad did. At least your dad didn’t think he was a good person.” 
Luke growls, and he puts a hand on your shoulder to pull you closer to him. “Shut up.” 
“Your sister has told me you can be more than this,” he says. “And I think she’s right. You’re better than this—better than living between the margins and jail.” 
“I’ve had a hole in my chest since I was born,” Luke mutters. “And I’ve tried to stop it, but it’s just grown and grown and grown. This— this aching pit of pain, and he caused it. You’ve got it too— I know it.” 
“I— I do,” you say. And you’re not lying. You’ve had a pit of despair in you for as long as you can remember. The only difference is that you’ve fought every goddamn day of your life to keep it from consuming you. “And it hurts, Luke. Trust me, I know. It took me so long to even be able to deal with it, but I know how to. I can help you—we can both walk out of here.” 
“No,” he whispers. “No—we can’t.”  
“Yes, we can,” you plead. “I love you, Luke. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life helping you if that’s what it takes to get rid of that hole.” 
For a moment, he doesn’t say anything. For a moment, you think you’ve gotten through to him. Aaron never takes his eyes away from you. 
“I’ve never been able to protect her,” Luke murmurs. “Not from our dad, not from the world, not even from you, Aaron Hotchner.” He presses the gun harder than ever into your head, like he wants to bury the metal in your skull along with the bullet. “But that all ends now.” 
You screw your eyes shut. You don’t want to see Aaron’s face when your brother kills you. 
And then it happens so quickly you barely process it. 
There’s two gunshots, almost at the same time. You scream, first because of the gunshots, then because of the sudden roaring pain in your side. There’s a thud next to you, your eyes shoot open, and you see your brother’s lifeless body fall to the ground. 
You scream again—you can’t even control it, it just rips out of you at the sight of the hole in his head and the blood pooling beneath it—and Aaron drops his gun to rush forward. The rest of his team thunders in after him, all in guns and bulletproof vests, and they’re talking, but you can’t focus on a single goddamn thing because your brother’s dead body is right next to you. 
Aaron pulls out a pocket knife and begins to cut through your restraints, and the instant he finishes you collapse. He catches you without a second thought, and you immediately wrap your arms around him. 
Torrential sobs wrack your entire body as you bury your face in the crook of his shoulder, every part of you shaking as the reality of it all hits with full force. 
Your brother is a serial killer. He killed ten people, he tried to kill you. And now he’s dead. 
The only part you had left of your family—gone, just like that, with four other families ruined in his wake. 
Aaron’s soft voice in your ear is the only thing bringing you back from the edge of hyperventilation, his own hold on you the only thing keeping you from collapsing.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs and he shrugs off his windbreaker to wrap it around your arms. “You’re safe now. You’re safe.”
“He’s gone,” you choke out, voice muffled as you speak into his chest. “He’s gone, and he tried to—”
A fresh round of emotions hit you, unable to get the words out, and you fully break down in Aaron’s arms. 
“I know.”
Aaron’s fingers linger on your side and you feel some dull pain, but you feel his breath still for a moment. 
“You were shot,” he says with your name. “We have to get you to a hospital.” 
You don’t even feel it. God, you don’t feel anything. There’s a distant ringing in your ears, an insistent pain in your skull, and you finally realize Aaron is right when you pull away and see the blood on his fingers. 
But black spots start to fill your vision. You may not feel it, but your body holds the score. The pain intensifies in your side as your adrenaline starts to slow down, and you collapse against Aaron. 
“Get an EMT in here!” he yells, keeping an arm wrapped around you. “We’ve got a GSW— she’s losing blood fast!” 
You can feel Aaron’s rapid heartbeat, can feel his steady arms as he keeps you propped up. You feel the warmth of his body, feel the warmth draining out of yours. 
“Aaron,” you whisper, your strength fading. You don’t think he hears you.
He helps you up and you’re suddenly hoisted onto a stretcher, and he’s beside you as the EMTs run you out of your childhood home. The night is a blurry canvas of red and blue lights, and your eyelids feel like they’re made of concrete. 
“Aaron,” you try again, and you have enough left in you to grasp his cheek. “Thank you.” 
And as the world goes black around you for the second time, you see his lips form your name. 
It’s not a bad thing, you think before darkness overtakes you, for Aaron Hotchner to be the last thing you see before you die. 
-
You wake up in the hospital alone.  
You don’t know what you expect. You have few acquaintances, fewer friends, and the last part of your family is dead after he tried to kill you. 
The real surprise is that you wake up at all. 
Lucas is dead. 
He tried to kill you. You thought he succeeded. 
You let out a slow, even breath, accompanied only by the sounds of beeping machines. It still doesn’t exactly feel real. 
You’ve spent the last two weeks defending your brother against every accusation, and you ended it in the hospital—well and truly alone for the first time in your life. 
You look at the television. Some muted soccer game is playing, and you’re thankful. You were worried that you and your brother would be the topic of the day. 
Who are you kidding? You’re going to be the topic of the year. He killed ten people. He tried to kill you, and you think he nearly did. He shot you, after all. 
You let your head fall back against the pillow. All of your limbs feel insurmountably heavy, your side aches like hell, and you’ve got the worst headache of your life. 
And you can’t stop playing it all over in your mind. 
He was going to kill you. 
Your own brother, your flesh and blood, the only person you had left, tried to kill you and would have killed you had it not been for the BAU. 
Had it not been for Aaron Hotchner. 
The door opens and someone walks through, your eyes following the movement, and when he sees it, he pauses. And so do you—apparently the devil appears even when you think of him. 
“You’re awake,” Aaron says after a moment. It’s the third time he’s sounded surprised since you’ve met him again. Seeing you, finding out your mom is dead, seeing you. 
But there’s relief there, too.
He has a coffee in his hand and his tie is undone, the sleeves of his white undershirt rolled up to his forearms. It makes you realize his suit jacket has been slung over the back of the chair near your bedside. 
“How long have you been here?” you ask, your brows furrowing ever so slightly. 
Aaron closes the door and sets his coffee on the table before he answers you. “Three days.” 
“And how long have I been here?” 
“Three days,” he says. “You suffered head trauma, they discovered drugs in your system, and… you were shot. You had to go into emergency surgery.” 
You frown, and he answers before you can ask any of them. “…Your brother. After he knocked you out, he used something to… keep you out. And after I shot him, he still got one off—thankfully, as he was falling. The bullet hit you in the side instead of the head.”
“How bad was it?” you ask. 
Aaron glances away. “You died on the table. They managed to bring you back, but…” 
“I guess Luke did succeed,” you say absentmindedly. Aaron doesn’t laugh, and you glance away too. “Sorry. Bad time for jokes.” 
He shakes his head. “If anyone’s allowed to joke about this, it’s you.” 
Your lips twitch for a moment, but then you look back at him as he takes a seat at your bedside again. He looks— god, he just looks tired. Tired and ragged and downtrod, and you can’t imagine you look much better.  
“You were out for two days after,” he explains. “This is the first time you’ve woken up.”
“Why are you here, Aaron?” you ask quietly. “Why have you been here?” 
Aaron frowns. “Where else would I be?”
Your throat feels like it’s closing up, and you feel the telltale pinpricks of tears. You blink them away before they can start. 
“My brother was a serial killer, Aaron.” Your hands clench into fists as you stare at the wall. “He killed ten people while he was living with me and I— and I didn’t even fucking notice.” Your gaze moves back to him. “I went against all of you because I thought I knew him, and look where it got me.” 
“It’s not a crime to want to see the best in people,” he says. “Especially your family.” 
“It’s a crime to fucking murder people,” you huff, and it’s only slightly unhinged. “I— I thought I knew him, and I didn’t. And if I did, maybe none of these people would’ve had to die.”
“Don’t blame this on yourself,” Aaron demands. “Lucas was lost. Mentally ill. He was on a path for revenge, for his deranged idea of protection—nothing you could have said or done would have stopped him.” 
You shake your head. “It might be easy for you to say that, Aaron, but I— I can’t. He’s my brother. I gave him a place to live, I gave him easy access to families— god, I fought with you all for two weeks about his innocence, all while he was planning his next fucking murder!” 
“It is not your fault,” he repeats, slower and enunciating the words. “He was the only member left of your family, and you loved him. You were just stubborn, and that’s nothing new.” 
“I just don’t know what to do.” You’ve had these walls up for so long, especially this past week, and now that everything’s come to a head and you’re in the hospital and your fucking brother is dead, the floodgates have opened. “I have to plan a funeral because I’m the only one left to plan one, but— but does he even deserve one? He’s a serial killer, and he tried to kill me for god’s sake, but he’s my brother and even though he’s gone he’s still all I have left and—” 
You break off as you suck in a huge breath of air, the notion shaky as you clench your hands into fists to keep the rest of your body from doing the same. 
“And I just don’t know what to do,” you repeat, barely a whisper. 
You meet Aaron’s eyes, almost desperately. You feel like you’ll shatter into a million different pieces if you even breathe wrong and he might be the only solid thing in your life. 
“Whatever you do,” he says, “you don’t have to do it alone. Not if you don’t want to.” 
“Aaron,” you start shakily, but he continues. 
“I know what you think, and that’s not what I’m suggesting.” Aaron pauses for a moment, and it’s obvious how carefully he’s crafting his words. “I’ve… always regretted how we left things. And I regret losing touch with you. This isn’t the way I would’ve liked to meet you again. But I’m thankful I have.”
He pulls a card out of his shirt pocket and holds it out to you. You realize it’s his business card, and it’s got his number. 
“I’m sorry for the formality,” he says dryly, “but I don’t exactly go around prepared to give out my number for purposes other than work.” 
You take it without giving yourself the chance to think about it. You run your finger around the sharp edge of the cardstock, pressing the pad of your thumb against the corner. 
“Years ago, you wished me a good life, and that you didn’t want to be involved in it,” he says, still treading carefully. You can’t believe he remembers the last thing you said to him. “But— but a lot has changed since then, and I hope that has as well.” 
“I’d like you to be a part of my life again,” Aaron finally says, “if you want to be a part of mine.”
For a moment, all you can do is stare at him. Two and a half years of law school flash behind your eyes—coffee shop dates and endless hours spent studying at the library. Movie nights cuddled on his couch, hauling boxes out of your house at an ungodly hour to get away from your roommates. An unhealthy amount of all-nighters immediately followed by going out to celebrate a miracle of an A on an exam. Getting through every soul-sucking part of earning a J.D. together, falling apart before either of you could make it to the other side, and somehow…
Somehow, you’ve ended up on a completely different side together. 
“My life isn’t going to be easy,” you say faintly. “Especially… moving through this.” 
“My life isn’t easy either,” he says. “I’m divorced with a kid and I try to solve murders every day.” 
“It’s not a contest.” An attempt at a joke, but it falls flat for you. Aaron’s lips still quirk at the edges the slightest bit. 
“Getting through this certainly won’t be easy,” he agrees. “But I have more experience than most in these sorts of things. So if you ever need anything, call. Please.” 
“I imagine you’re pretty busy,” you murmur. “Unit chief and all.” 
Aaron shrugs. “I make time for the things I care about.” 
Thankfully, you don’t have to figure out how to respond to that, because there’s a knock on the door, and a nurse walks in after you call a come in.
“It’s good to finally see you awake, sweetheart,” the nurse says with a smile. It warms you from the inside out. 
“It’s nice to be awake,” you say. Her smile widens and she moves over to the computer in the side of the room—to add some things before she makes her checkup, you assume. 
“I’ll give you some time alone,” Aaron says.
Before he can stand up, you grab his hand. It’s fully on instinct, and he looks just as surprised as you feel.  
“Don’t go,” you plead, and it’s almost a whisper. “I— just— please.” 
Aaron stares at you for a moment, that shock glinting in his eyes before it transforms into something a lot warmer. He nods and sits down. 
“Okay.” 
And he stays. 
This time, he stays.
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chaifootsteps · 2 days
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For me, I think I would have leaned hard into Pentious as the envious, paranoid, yet brilliant inventor who did, in fact, have a son. A son he cherished and adored, but soon failed to show him actual love. So less goofy, more villainous and a bitter soul.
I want to lean into why pentious was able to stay alive in hell for well over 100 years of exterminations, and why in the polite he wanted to control the entire west side of the pentagram within ONE day. He was desperate to get back to his son and wife in heaven. (I feel like he deserves someone in heaven who had fallen in love with him back on Earth). He thinks he can 'conquer' his way into heaven, to break the rules that 'keep' him down. Why he is in hell/in this situation. He made so many inventions who could change the world, but they always were discredited, or stolen by rivals/big corpos. So Pentious got tired of trying to change the world, he decided to join the powerful elite. Becoming just as corrupted as them as he made the world worse because it is what got him the money and recognition he set out for. Especially since I hc him as half british white, half indian due to the time period, and say one of his parents lived in imperial India. Showing him never accepted no matter what he tried to be part of, not unlike how ppl dont accept him in hell. His inventions and horrible ways is what made his family break away from him, and eventually he died in a workplace accident, ironically, something he had just the day before ignored when one of his workers told him how dangerous it was.
So, now he is in Hell and he hears about Charlie's redemption project. At first, he goes there thinking if he can ally himself with the princess, he can use her as an in against her father to make it to heaven. But as he spends more time there, he soon admits why he conquers and destroys, and Charlie helps work with him on facing the bitterness inside his soul. But soon as he heals and apologizes and works on making amends how he can, as well as learning to be satisfied and confident with his own soul, he starts helping her help the other sinners, like Angel Dust. When the final battle happens, he uses the warship he swore off using when reforming, and badly hurts the main exterminator (NOT Adam cause, cmon, thats the first human), ultimately dies to the angelic weapon, and so instead of dying to something he failed to care about because it affected others, he dies intentionally helping others.
And thats when he makes it to heaven and is reunited with his family.
Sorry for the long rant thats just how I would rewrite Sir Pentious.
No apologies needed, that's lovely. I usually lean more towards "he doesn't have a son myself," but if we're going the route that he does, this is how I would want it to play out.
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Text
Insurgency: Foe Is Friend
Summary: A totalitarian regime reigns over a South American country in which the virus is being distributed to its citizens at the pretense of a “cure.” Leon was sent to retrieve a sample of the virus mutation when he stumbled upon a group of anti-government activists whose main goal is to overthrow their government. Will Leon help the cause or will he fall down with the government as well?
Warning: Mentions of mature themes. Read at your own discretion. Slow burn. Age gap (Leon is 38 and reader is 21+). Reader is female. Contains smut. Unprotected sex. Consensual sex.
Word count: 3,574
A/N: there’s a smut scene in this one hehe
[part one][part two][part three][part four][part five][part six][part seven][part eight][bonus]
“The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future," - Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance
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When the battle was over, Leon tried to find you. Other insurgents also began to question your whereabouts. No one had seen you or heard from you ever since the storming happened.
And all they could think about was the same thing that happened to Yarina.
It was cruel. To know that your leaders were bound to die by the hands of the greedy and yet they still kept fighting. The insurgents didn’t give up and neither did Leon. He promise he’d help and he always stuck to his promises.
-
It was daytime when the screen tower turned on to broadcast live footage. All citizens of Pruye, including the Insurgents, began to watch it as they thought it was going to be another message from the president.
However, that was not the case. The insurgents all gasped and murmured around themselves as clips of y/n and other insurgents were forced in a kneeling position on a stage with soldiers behind each one of them, guns pointed at the back of their heads.
Leon was walking through the base when his eyes fell on a tv up on the wall. His jaw fell down and he felt his heart stop for a minute at the sight of her in the same shoes as Yarina.
-
You know you should feel scared right now, you were at death’s doorstep. But somehow, you didn’t feel anything. You were numb- devoid of emotions. The only thing in your brain right now was finding a way to escape.
There were about 10 people lined up and you were the 8th person, on the far right end of the stage. The first person got shot. The sound echoing through the area as the other insurgents gasped and cried. But no one begged for mercy. Some prayed to be reunited with dead family members and others prayed for their families to remain alive and healthy. Their words imprinted on your brain and it only increased your impulsivity.
You needed to do something quick.
Things began to climax as the second person got shot. Their body falling forward with a thud as the third soldier prepared his gun.
You closed your eyes and began to take deep breaths, all while trying to drown out the sounds of the gunshots getting closer to your position.
And soon enough, the person next to you fell dead on the floor. The soldier behind you curled his finger in the trigger but right before he could pull it, you quickly and swiftly turned around with speed and swiped your leg under him, causing him to fall. The soldier fell down and dropped his gun to the floor, the other soldiers quickly raised their guns at you and began to shoot- which they failed to aim.
You got up and quickly ran down the stage and towards the forest. The soldiers didn’t stop shooting behind you and a few bullets hit you. But you still managed to run away. The soldiers stopped shooting, as per order of the president, and she figured you’d just bleed to death in the forest with the help of no one.
“Kill the rest quickly,” she ordered as she walked back inside the tower. Two soldiers killed the last two insurgents, ending the day live broadcast.
-
Leon, as well as the others, saw the way you managed to escape. Some cheered and some grew worried. But Leon? Leon didn’t register the way his feet began to move towards the gate of the base- ready to find you in the forest. He didn’t want to lose someone else and he’d stay up all day trying to find you.
And so he ran. He ran further into the forest, straining his hearing and squinting his eyes just to help him find you faster.
Eventually, he saw a figure run past him in the corner of his eye. Instinctively, he knew it was you, so he followed behind you.
-
You had made it to a cave. Slowing down, you reached the entrance and went inside. You needed to sit down to treat your wounds. Just as you sat down against the wall, you heard a voice from just a few feet away.
“Y/n!” It was Leon’s voice. He quickly ran inside the cave and crouched down next to you. His eyes scanned over your body and he immediately saw some blood pooling on your clothes.
“You look like you’ve seen better days,” he joked quietly. You couldn’t reply as the pain was so unbearable, the adrenaline worn off and it felt as if you’ve been ran over 50 times by an 18-wheeler.
Leon quickly applied pressure on the wound on your arm, “This is going to hurt.”
He pulled out some medical supplies from the pockets of his cargo pants. One thing he learned from his field of work was that having too much medicine didn’t hurt anyone. He applied some antiseptic on your wound after pulling out the small bullet from your injury. You were lucky it didn’t penetrate all the way.
You screamed in pain and he had to hold you down by pressing a hand on your thigh, “Don’t move.”
Tears pricked at your lash line as you nodded. Biting your bottom to try and stifle your pained sobs and screams. It hurt like a bitch- or at least you thought so.
After the antiseptic, he began to wrap your arm with some gauze. Making sure it was too tight as he didn’t want to cut your circulation.
Your breathing softened as the pain subsided. That numb feeling came back as memories began to wash up again in your mind. Memories from the first event- Franco’s death- to this moment. You almost died today but you succeeded in avoiding death this time. You knew your luck was running thin but that didn’t stop you from feeling like doing more.
Leon saw that look on your face- a look he once had when he first became a cop. He knew it all too well and it scared him.
“Everyone was worried about you… when they saw you on that stage,” he began in a murmur as his gaze focused on wrapping your arm.
“People were starting to lose their spirit if they saw their second leader die,” he pulled on the gauze- not out of malice, of course. You winced and looked at him, “But I didn’t. I don’t give up that easily…”
He chuckled at your statement and looked at you, “I don’t doubt that.”
A moment of silence overtook the two of you as he brought his focus back on your injury. He’d never admit it, but he also felt a twinge of hopelessness at the thought of losing you.
“Leon,” you called out softly. He looked at you and hummed slowly in response.
“Thank you,” you whispered.
“For what?”
“Everything,” your shoulders shrugged slightly as you looked away in deep thought, “I know you’re only helping us because of whatever personal reason you have, but still, thank you.”
Your voice was soft and quiet. He couldn’t help but feel… soft. His whole demeanor changed and he looked at you with gentle eyes.
“I’m just doing what needs to be done,” his eyes shifted back to your arm as he tied a knot on the gauze.
“Still… thank you,” you whispered. You really were grateful for him. It was bittersweet, if you think about the big picture. You would’ve loved to have met him under different circumstances but the universe doesn’t always play in our favor.
Leon was a sweet guy underneath all that sarcasm and dark humor. Sure, he masks his true emotions but he had his moments where he was just so emotionally raw- where he was human. He wasn’t heartless, at the contrary, he felt for everyone.
It took you this fine moment to realize just what type of person he really is. He’s a guy who’s had a hard life. And now your life got hard too. Trauma bond is a real blessing in disguise. You two understood each other without ever having to say a word.
The look in his eyes when he stared at you said enough. His eyes screamed “I’m here for you” “it’s going to be okay”
And that was enough for you to finally let out your emotions in front of him. Your vision blurred as tears streamed down your cheeks. He wasn’t judging you for crying, he understood why. Hell, he’d cry too if all of this happened to him as well.
And that’s the beauty in its raw form. He slowly brought his hands to your cheek to wipe the tears of your face.
You were feeling so many things and he could understand what they were. Even if he didn’t experience the same thing, he went through similar things. Only this time, he wished he had someone who would’ve taken care of him the way he was taking care of you.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and cried on his shoulder. He gently wrapped his arms around your waist and held you close to him as you cried.
It wasn’t fair living in such situations where the government murders people for wanting a better life. It felt unfair and heinous.
You cried as you remembered all the deaths of people who fought beside you. It was all too painful and you were glad he was there for you. Only god knows how much longer you can grip to sanity.
-
You slowly let go of him and pulled back. He didn’t fight or forced you stay close to him, he knew you needed space and he would be more than glad to give it to you.
“Sorry,” you whispered. He shook his head and wiped the last remaining tears from your face.
“Don’t be sorry. Ever.” His voice was soft and almost a whisper. He was being sincere and kind- a contrast to his appearance.
You nodded and looked into his eyes deeply. His eyes were a piercing foggy blue that could only be described in endless terms and words- not enough.
“When I saw that you had fought and ran away…” Leon started in a whisper, “I knew you’d be okay. Everyone else was worried but I knew you’d find yourself alive…”
“Y/n… you wield great strength and I don’t even think you realize how important it is to me that you’re still alive,” he whispered as he took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze as your fingers interlocked with his.
His words made you feel something inside- loved. Love was something that you didn’t often feel all this time and yet he managed to pull at your heartstrings. Part of you didn’t want to get attached to him because you feared you’d put him in danger.
But he’s Leon. He’s been fighting all his life, what wrong could it do if both of you just dived into your heart’s desires?
You brought your hands to his sides of his face and brought him close for a kiss. His lips were warm- a little chapped but you didn’t mind. It was a soft kiss, one that spoke a thousand words.
He took hold of your waist and brought you closer to him to kiss you back, this time a bit more passionately. His hands roamed your waist up and down as he slowly pulled you off the wall and laid you down on the ground of the cave. The cold stone hitting your back as he climbed on top of you, right in between your legs.
His lips moved down to your neck, his stubble brushing up against the softness of your skin as he began to suck hard.
His hands traveled to your hips and he gripped them down as your hands wrapped around his head, fingers digging into his scalp as you moaned from him finding that sweet spot between your clavicle and crook of your neck.
His hands traveled under your shirt and gently caressed over your bra, as if he was scared of taking things further with you. He pulled back and looked you dead in the eyes, his pupils dilated to the point where the blue of his iris disappeared.
“Do you want this?” He whispered.
“Yes,” you breathed out and nodded.
That was all he needed before he gently pulled his shirt off and then helped you with yours. He gave you a look when you tried to move your arm, “Let me. Just relax and let me take care of you,” he caressed your cheek before leaning down to kiss your lips gently.
He gently and slowly pulled your shirt above your head and tossed it to the side, away with his shirt. He stared down at your bra in awe and almost hungrily. He leaned back down on your neck to give you more hickies as his hands reached your back to unclasp your bra.
With delicacy, he pulled down the straps down your arms and gently took it off of you completely. Your breasts completely exposed to him. As he continued sucking your neck like it was his last dinner, his hands traveled up to your breasts and he began to squish the fat of them. His thumbs grazing ever so slightly on your hardened nipples, eliciting a gasp and whine from your lips.
He smirked against your neck as he moved down to suck your right breast while his hand played with the other. He didn’t bite it- not yet at least. Instead he just swirled his tongue hue around your nipple and gave your left breast a teasing squeeze, just to hear more sounds come out of you.
This man was dedicated to making you feel good. He started kissing down your stomach to just right above the waistband of your pants. He crawled back up to your face and kissed you, inserting his tongue inside your mouth as his hands unbuttoned your pants and pulled them down to your ankles. He took them off and threw them someplace he already forgot.
His hands traveled to your clothed pussy, his index finger already finding that wet spot in your panties. He pressed down, causing you to moan against his lips. Once again, he smirked and pushed the slit of your panties aside as he inserted his middle finger.
He groaned as he felt the tightness of your walls pulsate around his finger. And how could he say no to that feeling? So, Leon being a gentleman, he inserted his ring finger inside and began to thrust his two fingers in and out of you.
You moaned and gripped on his shoulder blades, opening your mouth but only strained moans escaping and echoing throughout the cave. His fingers were long and stretched you out. You felt the strain of his erection against his pants graze your inner thigh and it only made you grow more wet.
His wrist was beginning to cramp but he didn’t care, he knew you were close by the way your walls Swede beginning to close in and out on his fingers.
But Leon’s a fucking bastard.
Right before you could reach your orgasm, that little fucker pulled his fingers out of you. You whined in disappointment and mild disbelief as he denied you of your orgasm. But to your surprise, as you looked over at him, you saw that he was beginning to take off his belt and pull his pants down.
You also were no saint given the fact that you basically eye fucked his hard-on.
But he didn’t care- maybe a little bit. He smirked and pulled his underwear down, letting you ogle and salivate as his cock sprung out. Pre-cum leaking as the veins throbbed ever so slightly. Boy, he was beyond hard.
You swallowed hard and looked at him as he aligned the tip of his head to your entrance. With a slow pace, and I’m talking real slow, he began to penetrate and enter you. It hurt, obviously, but it felt good. Maybe you were a masochist or maybe it was just him and his giant dick. Who knows.
What you did know was that as soon as his pelvis made contact with your clit, you hadn’t realized how deep he actually was inside you. He began to roll his hips into you, the action causing the tip to his your cervix. You ought to be careful because bruising a cervix could be very painful.
But you didn’t care- not when Leon’s moans and grunts escaped his throat. He gripped your hips and propped you up slightly to thrust into you better. His knees were hurting against the stone floor but that was the last thing on his mind. Right now, he just wanted to fuck.
As he thrusted right into you, he watched in awe as he saw your tits bounce. He could get used to this. As his kept his hips at a normal pace, he fondled your breast with his big hands.
The sound of his balls clapping against you made it seem like something straight out of a pornographic film. Only this time, it was real. Not like those fake actors with the fake orgasms- no. This was different, you were different.
He groaned as he felt your walls tighten around him and he tried to maintain his pace knowing you were so close to cumming. He read somewhere that when women were close to their orgasm, that they don’t speed up or slow down. Unlike men, women like to keep the same pace since it helps them reach their orgasm.
And that’s exactly what he did, as he whispered things like “good girl” or “god you’re taking me so well” he heard all your moans and whimpers as you finally came on his dick.
But that didn’t stop Leon. He knew you’d feel overstimulated but he wanted to be selfish and reach his orgasm too. So he went faster and rougher. His mind going blank as the only thing his body wanted was to cum.
Cum. Cum. Cum. Cum.
Like a damn dog, he thrusted into you with brute force. His hands gripped your hips until the skin turned white. His cock penetrating your cunt as he watched you arched your back, rolling your head back and closing your eyes.
How he wished he could take a picture of you in this position. But he knew he couldn’t. Instead, he took mental note of your curves and every single detail of your body- your moles, stretch marks, etc. He wanted to remember everything.
It was like 30 seconds until he finally reached his orgasm. He wasn’t a prick and he didn’t wish to impregnate you, so he pulled out and shot his cum on your stomach and breasts. The sight was much more alluring and he felt his cock twitch.
Both of you were panting after such an intense sex. Probably the best one either of you had ever had. He slowly helped you up and tried to fix your hair as best as he could. He saw the way your eyes were beginning to droop from the exhaustion and he felt some sort of guilt for being a little too rough.
You gently leaned your head against him as he began to clean you up with a piece of cloth he had with his other medical supplies.
Always be prepared. He thought.
He helped you get dressed up first as he knew you probably just wanted to sleep. And he wasn’t against that idea so he let you be while he put on his clothes.
It was getting dark and while you slept, he decided to build a fire inside the cave to provide warmth for the two of you. He saw you sleeping peacefully on the floor without his jacket draped over you.
It may not show but he really did care about you. You managed to bring down his walls and he was a bit frightened. But after almost seeing you die, he’d rather let his emotions and feelings be known to you.
He laid down behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist as he brought you closer to his chest. He bestowed his back on the back of your head and inhaled your scent. It was intoxicating and he almost felt like he was in heaven.
Yeah you smelled like sweat but he liked that smell. He would probably be called weird if he said he liked the way your sweat smelled so he kept that secret to himself.
His eyes began to close slowly as his mind drifted off to dreamland. And soon enough, both of you were sleeping in a cave cuddling each other.
The moon shined bright tonight and the warmth of the fire brought you two a piece of comfort. Almost making you forget about the entire political war going on.
Almost.
-
“She’s alive,” the president’s assistant said.
The president let you go simply because she thought you’d die in the forest. What she wasn’t prepared was for that American to chase after you and help you. She was enraged and was out for the kill.
“Release the test subjects. Let’s see who stays alive in the end after I show them what we’ve been working on,” president Mendez said right before she stormed off her office.
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exo-dus404 · 2 days
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is artificer like a mother to pebbles? seeing how everyone sees artificer as a mother figure for pebbles and pebbles is like artis pup Wanted to know if thats how arti sees pebbles too!
YES EXACTLY! However……there’s SOMETHING that Artificer won’t be thrilled about if she ever finds out……
CW warning: Character death, unethical experiments, manipulation, and general AU dark themes.
Being chased and hunted by the scavengers, Artificer with her child stumbled into [The Local Group]’s territory. And this is when everything went wrong.
They were surprised that when they reached a certain point, the scavengers stopped chasing them. They stopped for good reasons.
The region they barged in was Five Pebbles. His security system was immediately alerted and began neutralizing the “possible contamination”. Both of Arti’s pup were killed during the process while Arti was able to escape and find a blind spot, heavily injured.
Then FP received a system ping of something clogging his drainage system. He went to investigate and found the dead pups. He was disgusted and tried to dispose them, only to find out that one of them is still breathing, but barely alive. He took that one to NSH, since the latter just won’t stop harassing him for new test subjects.
NSH was not happy to get a pup that’s barely alive, and FP was enjoying his annoyance. With someone as skillful as NSH, he can easily save the pup, but he sees no reason to. He cut it open for its heart and put it into a new project that he’s been working on. It worked. Soon he will name the creature “Spearmaster”.
Months later, FP will wander off his own territory to get away from everyone during a mental breakdown. That’s how he encountered Artificer. The animal seems to have mistaken him for a lost pup of some kind of animal species due to his small size. And it won’t let go of him. He stayed with Arti for a while until Moon pinged him, demanding him to come back.
He was surprised that the animal started to follow him. Soon after, they met Moon, and Artificer immediately jumped in between them, claws out and fangs bearing. She certainly senses immense threat from the iterator in front of them. However, Moon just smiled, and gave her the mark of communication:
“The brave mother…I am the leader of the [Local Group], and you may call me [Looks to the Moon]. You are afraid. Terrified, even. But that’s okay, for I bear no ill intentions.”
“You don’t need to understand what we are. Godlike to you, if you insist. You lost your children, am I right? Your anger and hatred trapped you in a never ending cycle……it’s painful, and you want a way out.”
“I can help you.”
“The scavengers killed your children. They knew what will happen, yet they intentionally chased you there and activated the weapons.”
“You want revenge. Let me help you.”
“For a disposable animal like you…….in exchange, I want everything from you.”
“I am your only hope. If your simple mind can somehow make sense of what I just said.”
“…….”
“Very well. The mother who is stuck in the unending cycle of hatred and violence…..welcome to [The Local Group].
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zahri-melitor · 2 days
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Thinking again about the whole "Dick told Damian he would have adopted him" scenario and remembering how ridiculous this is:-
Firstly, Bruce would have had to be dead. Since Bruce became aware of Damian, Bruce has always been a fit parent in the eyes of the law; there's no evidence of any situations that would lead to Damian being removed from Bruce's custody, and in terms of what a social worker would care about, the worst that's going on is...Damian runs away on occasion, plus your standard set of vigilante bruises.
For Bruce not to have at least partial parental responsibility for Damian, some of the following elements would need to be in place: Damian has a birth certificate without Bruce's name on it; nobody has provided a DNA test showing that Bruce is Damian's father; someone has legal paperwork stating that Damian has two different, legal parents; Bruce has permanently relinquished custody of Damian; a parenting order has been made that says Bruce doesn't get custody or parental responsibility (whether by agreement or by court order). Aside from the fact we don't know what's on Damian's birth certificate, none of this is the case.
Damian is clearly in Bruce's custody, legally, from about Battle for the Cowl onwards, and has had visits to the household prior. This is because, as far as the public and the legal system is concerned, Tommy Elliot is currently 'Bruce Wayne' for any public appearances. Now you could have a (fun!) scenario where Damian needs a DNA test to prove his identity and since Tommy obviously would not match, the courts find Damian is not Bruce's biological child...but given Dick is literally also building his own forensic testing lab as part of Wayne Enterprises at that time, they'd obviously do it in house and use a sample Bruce had on file.
Bruce provides care, support, housing, paid supervision (Alfred), and so on for Damian whenever Damian is in his custody or in a Wayne household.
Damian also specifically chooses during B&R09 that he wants to be in Wayne custody not in Talia's (after his back surgery) and everyone involved actually works to make that happen, including Talia (and preference of the child is something that's taken into account in terms of parenting orders).
And in any circumstance where Bruce is not considered to be a fit parent for Damian (due to, for instance, being dead), then Talia is still Damian's biological mother and the person who had parental responsibility and custody of Damian up until the age of 10. You'd need to prove that Damian should not be in Talia's custody and that the circumstances were such that she couldn't even have, say, supervised visits. Now whatever the DCU position on international assassins having custody of their children is, Talia, unlike Jade Nguyen, has never been charged or convicted of killing people, to my knowledge. She doesn't have a known criminal record.
To show Talia to be someone whose rights as a parent have been removed, you'd need something of the following: Talia would need to agree to give up all parental responsibility (which she has never done, see how often Talia drops in to 'sort things out' for Damian); Talia would need to be found by a court not to be a suitable parent for her child; Talia gets imprisoned for killing people and thus couldn't have custody of her kid; Damian has paperwork that says Talia isn't her mother/we have DNA evidence showing she isn't his mother.
For Dick to have any chance of adopting Damian, they would have needed for both Bruce and Talia to be legally dead, have had their parental rights removed, or have voluntarily relinquished their parental responsibility, to permit the adoption to occur.
This isn't a small thing. Bruce might have been 'dead' during that period but he was also legally alive in the eyes of the law. Talia has a legal existence in the US under her identity as Talia Head. For Damian to get adopted, he'd need both of them to sign that Dick could adopt him, or be in the custody of the State and have the State agree for Dick to adopt him.
There are scenarios where you could get to that point, particularly if Bruce had remained dead. But in the stories we have? As much as Dick thinks it might have been a nice thing to do, he absolutely could not have done it without a protracted legal fight (or agreement of both Bruce and Talia) and he'd probably lose that fight.
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