How is Manifest season 1 the cheesiest, tropiest thing but also I'm completely sucked in and can't stop watching, it's too fun!

the show is truly ridiculous and YET it lures its viewers into a non-stop binge

S3 thoughts after complete rewatch

Please give me your thoughts and ideas. I’ll be blunt. Season 3 is bad. Really bad. There is absolutely no continuity between s2 and s3. I was joking that even though it’s meant to be set 6 months later, it could really be anytime after. I even would think I was watching an episode in the middle of a season if I was just shown 3x01 with no info. I feel that there is also a complete disregard to the tone of the show, despite Suzanne stating how it’s important to keep that. I do feel that Suzanne talks the talk more than she walks the walk. 

1.       When asked about the multiple POV Suzanne stated ‘those two women as the lynchpin relationship of the show. Their journeys are always at the spine of the story’. ‘all of them (new characters) have a really exciting energy, and really challenge the main characters’. I would argue completely against Eve and Villanelle and their relationship being the focus of this season. There are times and whole episodes when I feel there is almost a disconnect from each other. These two are absolutely, unhealthily addicted to each other. I think the amount of scenes they have together is perfect and almost the usual, but when they aren’t together, you know they are never normally far from each other’s mind. I would especially say I find it strange after V has finally got the kiss she has been waiting for 3 seasons, which would make her devotion go even more through the roof, she only has one Eve related moment (the cake) before phoning Eve after seeing each other at the train station in ep 7. They could have nearly sunk them!

·       Konstantin and Carolyn even overshadowed Eve and had more character development this season. Besides from Dasha, I would also say the new characters hardly gave anything to the plot such as Aubrey, Paul, and Geraldine. It even took me a while to remember these characters names. Paul you could take out of the season and nothing would change except that Carolyn wouldn’t have had another person to shoot in 3x08. I think Geraldine was a good character to have for Carolyn to show how she personally grieves, but why did they keep having the same scenes again and again? What the heck was that thing with Geraldine and Konstantin? I’m still unclear on how Dasha and Villanelle’s relationship came about and what happened. How old was Villanelle? How long was Dasha her mentor for? It seems like they forgot that they had Konstantin saying to V in 3x02 about Dasha doing something to her and the way Villanelle attacked Dasha upon seeing her again, that they just quickly wrote the hospital scene in 3x08. I was so confused what was happening. Did they mean Dasha shot at Villanelle because ‘she wasn’t ready’ as in emotionally or physically? Did Dasha actually manage to shoot her? Didn’t they allude to Konstantin being the one to recruit her from the prison in s1, so how did she not stay with him? How did she escape Dasha? It seemed random that Dasha just happened to die when Konstantin was there, when he said she was going to die in the hospital. I thought he had done something, but apparently not?

2. When asked what she was most excited about the audience seeing, Suzanne said Villanelle and Eve’s journey. This is her quote about Eve. ‘Similarly with Eve, we really get to see deeper layers of Eve, and her really coming to terms with the person she is now. She’s forever changed because of what happened to her and what she’s been through, and it’s really about seeing her now, this new version of herself, and her acceptance of herself, which is very exciting and really takes her into new places’. I really just have to laugh. Where is it? It is absolutely ridiculous how little Eve was developed and ignored this season. When you guys do a rewatch, I highly recommend to at least watch 2x08 before going into s3 because it really just highlights the difference and how nuts it is that they dropped Eve by so much! I really don’t understand how it’s even possible. Coming into the show there are many ways you could go wrong. However, it’s not like it’s an easy thing to cut out the lead of your show! Especially when that character had the most exciting things happen to them in the finale of s2. The things I was most excited about going into s3 was seeing how Eve was coping with knowing she has the ability to kill someone. I can’t believe they did not bring up that Eve had killed someone once in the whole of s3!!! Like @kassies​ stated, it’s like Suzanne just took one line and things she liked and disregarded everything else. Suzanne practically said in the BBC sounds podcast that she had this idea of mummy issues, which personally I don’t think there is any evidence of except the fact V is attracted to older women, like most wlw are. If anything there is more evidence she would have daddy issues with her history of castrations and the many times she comments that she finds it strange that Konstantin hasn’t tried to have sex with her. After the line ‘most of’ her family were dead she stated she could go down that route! She practically wrote the whole season just based on this. She hasn’t even taken the quote correctly, as like others have pointed out, most of her family were actually alive and it was only her dad who was dead. I loved episode 5 originally but on my rewatch with the whole season it really seemed strange. When I first watched it I thought the next episode was going to be largely devoted to Eve so I wasn’t so bothered that it was a whole V ep. However, considering Eve was hardly given anything in ep6, I really don’t see how a whole V episode was needed. The annoying thing was this season could have been the best yet. With Eve and Villanelle both discovering themselves and meeting at the end. It was that, but with hardly any Eve content and I feel they are so lucky they managed to pull it off in the last 2 eps, and that’s largely down to what s1+2 accomplished. Again, ep5 just seems like a way for Suzanne to explore her mummy issues story, as there is nothing really juicy or pivotal for the plot. Why not really show how the twelve have had their eye on V since she was little. Have the mum saying a man told her V was dead, as Konstantin did with Anna in s1? It would have added so much more to the twelve. Especially when the big thing about V this season is her wanting away from the control the twelve have on her. Why not show just how much?

I actually had no idea what Eve was thinking for most of the season and from what I do know and think is based on what I know of this character from the previous 2 seasons. Maybe this is just me not getting it, but I thought Eve was in the kitchen because she was in denial and I kept waiting for her to get a breakthrough and embrace her true self. It wasn’t until Sandra said Eve was actually showing strength by working in the kitchen, and by saying ‘no’ to working in the front, that I was like ‘oh’ that’s what it’s meant to mean. I actually feel so sad for Sandra because I can’t imagine what she must have been thinking with Eve’s treatment this season. I actually feel there are even moments in the season that delibrately stop Eve’s development. For example that lazy line of ‘lucky those tourists found you’. How? I know irl it’s a tourist attraction, but in the show they had to break into a tunnel to access it. I also don’t like the scene with Jamie. You could say it highlights the line in the finale ‘I think we all have monsters’ but I feel like it invalidates just how different Eve and Villanelle are from other people. Jamie taking his kids to the zoo when high is hardly the same as Eve hacking a man to death with an axe. 

 This is already so long, and I could go on and on, but I’m just going to point out  some issues and plot holes.

. Kenny’s death was meant to be the biggest storyline of the whole season and what got Eve back into the story. However, she only looked into his death in ep3 and never again. Carolyn didn’t even really look into his death and all we got was constant scenes with her and Geraldine. Why couldn’t we have gotten Eve and Carolyn doing real detective work like in s1 as was implied was going to happen in ep3? I don’t even feel like they actually thought through his death as it was ‘solved’ by Bear who despite apparently not thinking Kenny had commited suicide from the beginning and wanting access to his phone, apparently did not think to check a camera he had set up until weeks later?! I don’t think it’s possible Kenny fell off the roof as in ep4 when Eve chucks the cake, the wall comes up near to her chest. You could not fall off that. He also would have screamed when falling. I also don’t even know how the twelve knew Kenny was looking into the accounts. Especially if they knew Kenny was looking into it, and knew money was being taken, how did it take them so long to kill the accountant? Laura could develop this in s4, but I feel as though it was Suzanne’s job to follow through with this storyline. 

. How did Konstantin know what V looked like as a baby? Where did he see the photo? Why did they make a point to highlight that she was with someone in the photo and Konstantin really didn’t seem to want to tell her, yet the next episode he handed over her family right away? As much as I love Villanelle’s journey, on a rewatch, the family story seemed to almost come out of nowhere in ep3 and then the next episode she had the information and went home. Why not introduce the idea in ep 1?

. How would Puyter know that it was his sister? Upon immediately seeing her he knew it was Oksana. I don’t think it says how old they were, but he is younger than V, and we saw how old she was in the pics, I really don’t think he would recognise her, especially when he thinks she is dead. 

. Why is there not pictures of the dad? Even if the mum was saddened by his death as she really seemed to love him, why would she not have any photos? Also with how much she seems to be scared and despise V, why would she keep the photos of her? Did the dad die while Villanelle was still there or is she just taking he’s dead as he’s not there. I thought they were going to reveal that the dad was still alive and part of the twelve but nope.

. Why was Rhian so scared of V at the train station? I know she’s the demon with no face, but Rhian was ready to be moving into Villanelle’s shoes, and you can even see V is struggling to kill her, so why does Rhian act so scared and back herself onto the edge of the platform? That moment feels so disgenuous to me and at one point I though Rhian was acting. 

. How did Carolyn know Helene and that V was working for her? Is it a plot hole or something to be explored in s4?

. Why was Eve acting like she didn’t know Villanelle was responsible for the Catalan murder in ep4 when we know she can tell V’s kills after a sec (as seen in ep6) and even after Carolyn had shown her the photo and said it was V?

. They didn’t even seem to give much attention to Eve’s scar or wound. It was not where it was in 2x08. I know they said that they were going to move around where she had been shot, but when Suzanne was asked why the scar was different she said she wanted it to seem like Villanelle went for the kill shot, despite saying in other interviews that she doesn’t think Villanelle did try or want to kill Eve. The scar’s even so weird. I’m no expert, so that it maybe how they look, but it doesn’t even look like a bullet wound. Would the bullet not have left a round mark? 

. Why did they keep Niko around for so long? I personally loved where Emerald had taken it in 2x07 and was excited to see where Niko was. Maybe he was up for the murder of Gemma. It would have been another good opportunity to see Eve's skewed morals. A part of her being flattered that Villanelle killed Gemma as sort of revenge for stepping on Eve. Instead it got completely swept under the rug in 3x01 too by Niko saying mi6 said she killed herself. What happened? How did they find him? It doesn't even make sense now why V killed her. However, I would say there was also something symbolic about him ending up in a rehabilitation retreat because Eve and her actions has 'broken' him. It was quite powerful for his character to tell Eve he deserved better than her. Because he does. He basically told her to p*ss off there. Why make the little time Eve is being given to another ep where she chases him down, for him to get brutally attacked in a way that is so ridiculous that he would survive it borders on a soap opera. I thought the reason he survived was to give a big Eve moment of her saying her acceptance that she can't have a normal life. Instead they just had the same convo as 3x01 with him telling her to p*ss off. Then a scene with Eve looking at him and leaving. What is going on in her head? Why are you not giving her anything? We didn't even get to see her dealing with the act happening.

. This brings me onto the point of it. It could of had so much impact, yes it was cool because Eve knew it wasn't V, but there could have been so much more given to it. Such as Dasha saying to V in the lift in 3x07 about her having someone waiting for her back home, how Dasha has just destroyed the thread between the only person V cares about. It would have made V hitting her with the golf club so much more delicious.

. Villanelle saying to Konstantin that she didn't want him to die in 3x07 and looking upset. Yet in 3x08 she looks almost excited about the fact he's about to be shot?

. It also annoys me so much that Raymond was just discarded and we still know nothing about the twelve. I thought this season was really going to dive into them, but we don't know anymore about them than we did at the start of the season. After rewatching 2x08 I really wish they had explored the twelve thru Raymond. If you wanted to give Konstantin more why not have him in with the twelve and the consequences of 2x08? Raymond saying 'Some would say I'm a real somebody'. 'They will take you apart for this'. 'After today a lot of people are going to be angry'. How high was Raymond? The implications that V+E were in so much danger after killing Raymond. Then it's 6 months later and Dasha just says they've been watching V for months. Were they watching Eve? Who knows nobody cares about Eve this season😒 Why bring in new members of the twelve like Paul, make brand new stories such as Kenny's death and the money, to just kill Paul and not resolve them.

I really don't understand how the twelve haven't killed V yet. She screws up all the time from s1 onwards. I get she is amazing at her job but they have others such as Rhian. Why do they let her get away with it? It was confusing me so much this season. I thought they were going to make her dad a member of the twelve and that's how she's protected.

. The title cards and intro. By now you might all be thinking she's just tearing everything apart. Trust me, there are moments of s3 I love and that is why it's so frustrating. Laura's 3 eps are some of my fave of the show so fingers crossed that means good things for s4. I felt she grasped the original tone of the show. So speaking of staying true to the show, I don't understand why they were changing the format of the title cards. Sometimes it was funny 'p*ss off forever' and 'this is bullshit'. Yet, it also really threw me off because it's not what usually happens. I'm all for new things being tried, yet I actually find myself questioning what wasn't changed and what was kept original? The names coming up in 3x04...I can't even. This is more of a personal take as I know some people really liked them, but when it was coming up 'Eve' I was just sitting there thinking 'I know that's Eve. I've been watching her for 3 years'.

Why was there only a title sequence in 2 episodes? Suzanne got asked and said that it was only ep2 and ep7 that felt right. I mean...I'm pretty sure it could have worked in all of them. I loved the title sequences so much, and was so excited when that drop fell and they started in ep2. Then I was so confused when none of the next ones had it. Episode 7 is one of my favourite episodes of the whole show, and that title sequence is just *chef's kiss*. My point really is that it came across to me as an experiment as they only did certain things in one episode and never again, and it made me uncomfortable.

not a gifmaker 😭 but as a normal viewer the downgrade in camerawork of hosplay this season is kind of ridiculous. shots are blurry at edges of the screen, they're so poorly lit especially when they're indoors. they change angles so many times it makes my head dizzy. and generally...there's just no intentionality or novelty about anything. i rewatch s1 often and all this was *never* a problem. WHYd they change their equipment and how is this supposed to be considered an improvement?? ugh 😭😭😭😭 what's the deal shin wonho come on did you do the directing this time around with your eyes closed

i can point to so many instances of beautifully crafted scenes in season 1. it was almost as if each episode had it own color pallette/vignette. and the story flow was so much more fluent and raw and gently creeping than whatever they've scrapped together here. this season in general has felt like it was very rushed and there's just a stark difference in standard of quality between it and s1 like they're not even in the same league imo. if they'd have taken more time making it and released this in 2022 or 2023 instead i'd have waited man

hi anon!! i have to admit i watched s1 pretty casually all at once after it aired so i don't think i had a very good opportunity to really sit and ponder the actual quality of it beyond the storyline or really discuss it with people. i’m probably not as attached to the show as a lot of people are but what you’ve mentioned is some of the criticism i've been seeing around on twitter too regarding the directing and camerawork in s2 vs. s1 so you're definitely not alone there.

but now that i'm watching s2 week by week as it airs and also giffing occasionally, i do notice that the lighting is... not the best especially with all the indoor hospital scenes and i find it quite difficult to colour the show well and make it look vibrant. they also usually cut to a ton of different angles just for 1 scene. it’s so funny that you say it seems rushed when the eps are much longer this time around!

i also totally get what you mean about the story flow - it doesn’t seem to be as smooth and the transition from scene to scene and the use of the background music can sometimes be a bit abrupt. personally, it’s nothing that really takes me out of the show so i’m still able to enjoy it for what it is. but it feels like they’re trying to set up each individual loveline a lot more obviously in this season so i do wish we had more group / friendship scenes in every ep bc that’s always the highlight for me!

maybe it’s that this season on a whole just feels a lot more intentional in what they’re trying to achieve whereas it was as you said more “gently creeping” in s1 where you slowly fall for the characters and they just take you along on a ride.

Younger post-ep recap 6x06

Due to a rather unfortunate run in between my laptop and a glass of water I lost my original ramble for this week’s Younger (as well as the actual laptop so R.I.P Lappy, you were actually pretty terrible but we had a good run). So instead of my usual review I thought I’d do more of a recap and refresher of the last episode to get us prepped, primed and pumped (aka the 3 P's) for the next installment (ep7).

Episode 6 of Younger was in many ways so bonkers that it shouldn’t have worked, but somehow all the pieces came together and it did .Oh boy did it ever! I outright belly laughed a number of times throughout and I think my dog was mildly concerned for my well-being because there were actual tears coming out my eyes at a couple of points. I’m a sucker for a pun so ‘Merger, She Wrote’ had me at hello (you could say my hopes for the ep were high...yes I did and #notsorry). What I wouldn’t have given to be in the room to see the reactions to a script with ‘Liza goes to talk to the nurse who is actually a plant’ in it. So yes there were LOLs galore but most importantly, by the end of the ep order had been restored following the upheaval of the past 6 episodes (which is about the limit viewers can take sitting in the discomfort of an unfamiliar detour from the norm IMO: think the Bryce Reiger arc in season 3 and the Charles finding out the lie in season 5...it’s almost as though Darren and co. have done this before...), Finally the fam is back together at Millennial (or is it Mercennial now?)

Straight off the bat I was very distracted for most of the opening scene by Liza’s dress and look in general because it was AMAZING.  I am loving all the Maggie/Liza in the morning scenes we’re getting this season and Maggie in a blue coverall embarking on a DIY rope harness ceiling painting project...what could possibly go wrong? I felt mildly uncomfortable at how relatable Maggie’s not being served for 10 mins in a bar and sneaking out to the fridge in the night were, but was also mildly mesmerized by Liza’s coffee mug that looked like some kind of old-timey wash basin (turns out this was not relevant to the story but noted nonetheless). Maggie also offers the very straight forward solution of merging the two companies to alleviate the tension that’s putting Liza and Charles in ‘not a good place’ and I love that her ‘bing, bang, boom’ is echoed by Liza when she floats the idea with Charles later in the ep. 

The' Microdosing' book pitch provided us with the set up for the retreat and my fave thing about this scene was how IN character all the characters reactions were to it all; Diana is flat out appalled by the whole thing, Liza is Captain Cautious but trying to play it cool and Kelsey looks like she’s seeing colour for the first time and would 100% pledge her devotion to Travis in any kind of cult situation.

What might have seemed out of character, but actually ended up so perfectly capturing the way she always does everything with absolute gusto, was Diana's foray into boomer erotica narration (as Liza so eloquently put it, 'I think we just found our Seasoned Slut'. These lines, I swear *rofl emoji* )  I think I laughed through the entire scene of Diana in the recording studio, I mean, Miriam Shor's delivery of every line just kills me, but the highlight was undoubtedly when she suggested she could hit nipple a little harder and affirmed  'throbbing nipple' to herself as she walked back to the booth. Zane and creepy af Audrey Colbert waiting allowed for Diana to unsubtly hot foot it out of there, which was a great throwback to her refusal to be in the same room as Audrey in ep 3.

It was a also great opportunity to bring Zane and Kelsey back together and who doesn't love an awks 'accidentally had the mic open and didn't realize' moment when you're talking about how your author is definitely a murderer? I feel like Audrey may go and find another publisher now (just a hunch) but I would really like to see more of her because this character is a type of unhinged that we haven't seen on this show and I think that could be a lot of fun to see play out. I have to say that Kelsey Peters is NOT someone I picked as a boop-er of noses, yet there she was at the bar, booping Zane's nose and this was my favourite interaction of theirs in the series. I was totally digging the dynamic this ep and it will be very interesting to see what that will look like with the new work arrangements. Also, where was Zane when that was all going down btw? I assume Charles filled him in on the bringing the companies together plan before it happened?

Liza's excitement when she told Charles the idea of merging the two companies was endearing and I am unabashedly a big fan of Charles, but his attempt at convincing Liza to join him at Mercury after she tells him that she won't leave Millennial and Kelsey, by saying he left his company to be with her, was super shitty. But it was also super necessary. Because at some point this needed to be said and most importantly, Liza needed to call him out on it and let him know that he cannot use it as a bargaining chip. One of the things I love most about the Charles/Liza dynamic (aside from all the things, but that's another essay) is that Liza is her own advocate in this relationship, she will stand her ground when something is important to her and does not compromise herself to appease Charles. He is equally as stubborn but they are able to have the hard conversations that need to be had but this doesn’t lead them to question whether they want to be together (I very much appreciated the kiss on the cheek Liza gave Charles before she left for this very reason).

So of course being on a psychedelics retreat together when they've hit a roadblock in the relationship was definitely a very good idea...Well it was for us as viewers at least, because pretty much from the moment they arrive and Liza and Charles start talking straight to camera as the literal doctor (my god that whole line just cracked me up) informs them they'll be taking not-LSD, we know we're not in Kansas anymore Toto. Enter Josh for *insert drama here* purposes (and I do think he should franchise Inkburg coz why not?) and we have, ladies and gentlefolk, a recipe for some next level hilarity. But not before Josh and Liza share a lingering look as they take their dose of illicit substance to ensure that Lizs's trip includes one down memory lane.

I have made my feelings about love triangles known many times (quick recap: hard dislike. Tricky to pull off without one or more characters looking bad. Very tiring as a viewer and quite frankly I am pretty lazy and tired most of the time irl so just don't want it on my screen), however I will say that I did not see this ep as re-stoking the love triangle, I saw it as simply reminding us that it is there and can be reignited by the writers at any stage. Within the context of everything that was happening, Liza hallucinating Josh at her door actually made sense and I have no doubt that various factions of Younger fans had meltdowns at that moment for very different reasons.. Sutton Foster's physical comedy throughout this whole ep was second to none, starting at her realization that it was, in fact, Charles who had come to her room and continuing the next morning at breakfast.

Speaking of which, there was something about seeing Liza and Charles in the breakfast room together that made my sappy heart swell, it had such a vacay feel and I'm sure if you muted your volume you could pretend they were just listening to the activities for the day before going off to spend some quality time together...I mean, maybe that would be a thing, I wouldn't know....where was I? Oh yes, the unfolding of a series of comedy golden McNuggets™ that I am still laughing about. We learn that Liza is a supertaster (for those like me who pretended they understood what that meant but then realized they did not, I googled it and it means that she is sensitive to the drugs and basically the microdose affects her like a full dose, you're welcome) and I am chuckling even now when I think about Josh's, 'hey guys' in Charles' voice as he joins the table.

This is another one of those concepts that I feel like could've not worked at all but sweet lawd, the Charles and Josh voice swap scene was next level and I could watch this and the scene that follows over and over and never not laugh. I again LOVE the decision to have the guys talk to camera because it absolutely emphasizes the whole situation and Liza sidestepping away to visit the nurse just rounded off the whole crazy caper.

I have no words to describe how much I love the flat out ridiculous perfection of the visit to Nurse Maureen. Yes Liza has the epiphany that Josh and Charles bring out different things in her (though hot sex seems to be at the core of both so ya know, sounds like a win in the past and present and good for her on both accounts) and again, the unlikely scenario that her ex and current boyfriends are in the same place at the same time (while she is taking mind altering substance) has just played out so it also makes sense in this context. Quite frankly I'm shipping her and Maureen pretty hard at this point because a) it is not easy to pull off eyeshadow that green and b) everyone deserves someone in their life who has the kind of belief in Liza that Maureen does when she tells her 'I bet you can' dance just like me. I don't even know how to explain whatever that dance is but I just know that I want someone/something in my life that will windmill their/it's arms at me with such fervor that I find myself dancing with two attractive men in tuxedos on a galaxy stage.

I cannot express the joy I felt watching the entire dance scene, it was all just so. much. fun. But my absolute hands down favourite moment was when it cut back to the retreat and we, along with Charles and Josh, discover that Liza is in fact dancing with 'Maureen' the plant and seriously, this is up there with my highlights of the entire series. That and the reveal that the selfies Liza was taking were sent to Diana (Diana speaking to Liza in her 'sexy' voice, asking 'where is my plant?', Liza's, 'Maureen', I just cannot with every part of this glorious tie in at the end of the ep. I am sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant to express my gratitude for gifting us with these moments*). Seeing Josh and Charles together was great but it was clear a scene was missing and I am SO glad that Younger released the deleted conversation between the two of them coz it was both necessary because YES and also because it suddenly made Charles' entire conversation and reason for his decision to sell Mercury make sense (ie. was pretty pivotal).

I big A adored Charles and Liza's conversation (and outfits and aesthetic overall) as they're leaving the retreat, the shift in Charles is palpable and it's just such a credit to the writing and acting to be able to convey so much in such a brief scene. Maggie of course experienced quite the shift herself, from ceiling to floor, with a sufficient amount of dangling as her helpful neighbourly pervert got himself off as she got herself down. But most importantly, Maggie got her mojo back (though is she not currently dating Beth? In which case location of missing mojo: unclear).

Now I gotta tell you, the final scene of this week's ep up and got me. Big time. Kelsey's earlier comment, that she really hates competing with Charles, certainly added weight to the resolution we've all been waiting for this season. Charles' honesty about his realisation that he is hurting his family, not to mention him confirming that he means Kelsey, Diana and Liza and that he wants to come home, ugh, my insides are gooey just writing these words, leads to his offer to Kesley and honestly, the interactions between all of them in this scene was wonderful. I loved that Kelsey held the room, that Charles was putting the offer to her from one businessperson to another (though thank goodness Diana was there to point out the difference between $1 and $1000000 eek! Also, I get that it would never occur to anyone that the price would be $1 so I'll cut Kels some slack). Diana looks like she is going to cry at any moment from elation and I love the way Kelsey asks for the approval of the ladies before shaking Charles' hand. This will forever be one of my favourite scenes on this show.

The thought of Charles coming back and working as an editor alongside Liza is an actual dream. I mean, I am very happy to be taken on the journey the writers set, but I have legit wondered what it would be like to see him in that role and he and Liza working together properly as equals and I absolutely cannot believe it's going to happen.

Well this ended up being quite a bit longer than I expected (lol, what a surprise). Bring on episode 7!

*I will not in fact be sending Ashley Skidmore a houseplant because I live in a very far away country, it would cost a lot of money and it is 1000% creepy to receive a dead plant from a stranger. 

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 309

*puts Lonely Island on repeat* Shipnanigans are here!

I was originally kind of not looking forward to the second half of the season because this part of Voyager is absolutely batshit bananas. But then I was wicked underwhelmed by the part of the season I thought I would love.

So fuck it. Bring on the ridiculousness.

I like this episode. But only if I try to watch it pretending like the first part of the season didn’t happen... Because if I watch it with the other episodes in mind, I just get mildly ragey that we skip over the important emotional work Jamie and Claire still have to do in favor of fluff followed by another separation. And yeah, I love fluff. I love secksi times. I love Fraser snuggles. But the jump from the end of ep. 308 to the start of ep. 309 leaves me salty that we’re yet again asked to headcanon the reconciliation between Jamie and Claire. *side eyes the similar jump between ep. 207 and ep. 208* Whatever.

Get your towels ready it's about to go down. Everybody in the place hit the fuckin’ deck. But stay on your motherfuckin’ toes. We runnin’ this, let's go.

New credits! And the title card... Take a good hard look at the motherfuckin’ boat.

Ok this opening bit. Like Jamie was an asshole for the last two episodes. Claire never actually got to tell her side of things. She basically was like nope, I don’t think I even want to be here. But now it’s like all good, she’ll go on this 18th century sea voyage to find Jamie’s nephew. For real? They couldn’t have made a handful of tweaks last week and the beginning of this week so she could say she was going because she wanted to be with Jamie and keep working on their relationship? And Jamie’s apparently never going to apologize for being a massive piece of shit toward her? They do a good job over the course of the episode of showing them together but still with the insecurities and stuff, but jumping from where they were on the cliff to where they are in this episode makes me side eye the show like whoa.

And yes, I know that she’s really going on the ship because she wants to try to make it work with Jamie, but geez, let her say that. Let her tell him that he’s been a dick to her but she knows he has it in him to be not-shitty and she’s going because she thinks he can be better than he is in the last couple episodes. I don’t know why it bothers me so much when they make us fill in the blanks ourselves on stuff that seems definitely important enough to actually show. And then make it seem like we’re dumb or bad fans or something for wanting to actually see things instead of just headcanoning them in, because that’s how this production team rolls.

Replacement Rupert and Angus just aren’t the same as the originals. Like no one can replace Rupert and Angus, but like, I can’t bring myself to give a crap about these randos?

For real though, Claire’s inner monologue is probs like yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat. It's a big blue watery road...

And I get her 20th century scoffing at superstition, but like, girl. You’ve been in trouble for being a “witch” enough times now that c’mon. Don’t act like you don’t understand what’s going on with the sailors.

Marsali is my everything. I love her. I love her so much.

As much as I want Jamie to stand up for Claire, I do like that Fergus does it. Because Jamie, my dude, you deserve everything Marsali’s throwing at you.

Claire’s “No. You don’t.” as she drags Jamie away is also my everything.

Oh hey, a trunk of clothes! Got some swim trunks, and some flippie-floppies. But not a nautical themed pashmina afghan in sight. Welp. Can’t have everything.

I know it’s supposed to be sweet that Jamie wouldn’t let anyone get rid of Claire’s clothes. And a nice inverse to Frank burning her clothes. But I’m still just kind of chuckling because it’s not like he ever saw them? What with him living in a cave and then prison and then Helwater and then with Laoghaire. But whatever.

“Would you care to dine with me this evening? We drinking Santana champ, cause it's so crisp.” This captain is seriously the human equivalent of  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Like dude. You’re the captain of the ship and you’re just like welp. Can’t do anything about the men. They’ll do what they’re gonna do. It’s not like I’m the one in the position of authority or anything.

High fives to Fergus for calling Jamie on his bullshit revisionist history.

Although it’s kinda icky that Jamie knows all of the girls who Fergus has banged? And also fuck him for being super chill about Fergus banging tons of girls but so fucking uptight about Marsali and Bree. I know, I know, it’s a different time. That doesn’t make him not a hypocrite though.

Slash Jamie’s the last person who should be lecturing *anyone* about the importance of honesty right now. But whatever. No real consequences for lying soooo... *pretends the last few eps haven’t happened*

Yi Tien Cho convincing Jamie to do acupuncture is also my everything. Seriously, I know I had a *rull* low bar for how that character was going to be changed, but I’m really, really loving him.

I for real can’t wait for more of Claire and Marsali. Like yeah, Jamie’s marital status *was* Claire’s business, and Jamie hadn’t been living with Laoghaire and the girls for ages so Claire also wasn’t really breaking up a family or anything, but I really like that Claire just lets Marsali’s comment slide. Like call Jamie out on all of his bullshit, please, but Marsali’s a teenager whose life was thrown through a loop and I feel like trying to talk to her when she’s in this kind of mood isn’t going to get anywhere. So by just being like “well the whore should get the bigger bed, shouldn’t she” it’s like telling Marsali that she’s not going to be cowed by the snark and also that she doesn’t need to justify her place in Jamie’s life to a rando. Like she’s not going to concede power by trying to explain herself to Marsali.

But for real, I love Marsali.

I honestly don’t get Jamie’s aversion to Fergus and Marsali though. Like they’re not making the age difference a thing in the show. And Jenny’s fucking kids have apparently been married and spitting out babies since they hit puberty. Like I get it makes for some tension with Laoghaire, but who gives a fuck? She hates them all already?

Claire and Yi Tien Cho are my favorite pair that I was not expecting to like so much. But like her being genuinely interested in his story and him being open with her, which is probably the first time he’s gotten to talk like that with anyone since he got to Scotland, is so great.

Oh. Another VO. Cool. It’s basically like I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me.��Straight flowin’ on a boat on the deep blue sea. Bustin’ five knots, wind whippin’ out my coat. You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat.

Ok this insecurity in Jamie about hurting Claire’s feelings about the tea and acupuncture is adorable. Asshole Jamie’s insecurity of the past few episodes wasn’t. He was just an asshole.

And also, broseph, this is the kind of secret it’s ok to keep. Small, insignificant, adorable. The other one, not so much.

“My return has been confusing and frustrating. But it’s never been a question of whether I love you.” Confusing and frustrating is putting it a bit mildly, Claire, but apparently we’re done having real talk and Jamie doesn’t have to own up to being a fuckwad. Bqhatevwr. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m 1000% here for the fluff in this episode. I just have to pretend they actually did more of the hard convos in order to get to where they can have the fluff again.) And I’m pretty sure it *literally was* a question of whether you loved this Jamie, Claire. We all know you loved the old Jamie. But like, the whole thing on the cliff was literally about whether you loved the new Jamie. Y’know. The thing they never bothered addressing beyond the question being asked. Because lol nothing matters, fans can headcanon it and if they don’t they’re whiny and #badfans.

Whatever. *actively doesn’t think about past episodes* Here for pincushion heart eyes. Lookit how cute they are.

Cause of death: Claire telling Jamie about reading Bree Goodnight Moon.

And I love them talking about the moon like with the science of men flying there and the folk tales of the man in the moon representing each of them. They’re gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow. Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible.

“You miss her.” “Terribly.” Glad they’re highlighting Claire still feeling the loss of what she gave up to come back to Jamie. Still salty at his non-reaction to learning about his kid. And even here, like one line from him about Bree to let Claire know he loves her too? Or thinks about her too? To let Claire know she’s not alone in missing Bree? Please? No? Ok.

Here for the cuddles. I want the fluff. Believe me, I am trash for the fluff. I just wish again that the fluff felt more earned because they’d actually come to an understanding about where they stand with each other rather than just glossing over the hard part of coming back together. They showed the angsty set up then skipped the resolution and went straight to the fluff.

Whatever. Back to pretending the last few eps didn’t happen. Give me all the fluff. It’s fucking wonderful. I love fluff. I am a broken record.

I feel like the gif of Claire saying “that’s insanity” is going to come in quite handy...

Jamie going to save his dude like fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker. Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker. I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker. And no one is gonna mess with his Ardsmuir boys.

Really reaching to fit some of these lyrics in and I’m not at all sorry.

The way they chant Jonah is def the angry mob way to chant it, but in my head I def kept being like Jo! Nah! Jo! Nah!. Like pumping someone up at a sports thing or something. You’re doing it wrong, brain.

I have a lot of feelings about Yi Tien Cho giving up his story and letting it go before he wanted to in order to save Jamie and his men. Yi Tien Cho really is the best of them.

And honestly Jamie telling the captain to let YTC speak is maybe the most decent thing he’s ever done for the man.

And then the papers fly off in the wind and I realize that I give not a single fuck about the actual plot of this episode.

But Claire saying thank you to Yi Tien Cho is so much more than just thank you for quelling the fight. Like this guy just told the story of his life, of where he’s from, and now he needs to give it up. And she recognizes and respects and appreciates what it’ll cost him to give it up since she too is from a place the fuckers on the ship couldn’t possibly understand. And he did it for this group who, as he so passionately said, thinks the worst of him. I have so many feelings about Claire and Yi Tien Cho, guys.

They kept in the ship quickie! I def thought they were going to cut it! Bless them for keeping it. Blesss. Same feelings about the rest of the fluff still apply, but this show is probs always going to pull stuff like this so I clearly just need to get over it and accept the fluff I’m given like a #goodfan.

Jamie’s like believe me when I say, I fucked a mermaid.

(I swear, I *hated* the line last week when Jamie said Jenny would sooner believe Claire was a mermaid than from the future, but at least it means the most ridic lyric in the fucking song fits perfectly.)

And Jamie being cute about Claire’s hair. Awww.

I hate the king of men line. Hate it. Hate that the production is so fixated on that. And that they think it’s cute to keep including their weird in-jokes in the show itself.

But whatever. Snuggle time! Yay for snuggles! Embrace the fluff! Forget your issues with the show! Stop being a sourpuss!

Oh snap, the British are coming!  Never thought they’d see the day, when a big boat comin’ their way.

RIP Lt. Babyface. Long live Capt. Babyface!

Yay for Claire telling Jamie about her oath. And yay for Jamie actually getting it and respecting what she needs to do. It’s like ep. 306 Jamie again with the whole respecting Claire’s calling thing. So like, we should just ignore ep. 307 Jamie? Because he was an asshole about it.

Oh man, next week is gonna be rough, isn’t it. *All* the puking. This ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets.

For real though if the puking noises next week are like the brothel noises in ep. 306, I’m going to just watch on mute or something with the closed captions because it’s over the top, show.

Ok if Thomas Leonard is Capt. Babyface, I guess that makes Elias Pound Midshipman Fetus.

Oh man the cook being all like I'm flippin’ burgers, you at Kinko's straight flippin’ copies. Don’t fuck with Claire when she’s in Dr. Claire mode, my dude. You will not win that fight.

Yeah. If I pretend like this episode is the first one of the season, I like this episode. I’m kind of pissed that the show managed to make me salty about fluff. I love fluff, why you make me salty about fluff, show? And now I just want a goddamn fluffernutter.

And since I’m ignoring everything that could have been up until now, it doesn’t bug me that Jamie and Claire are separated...again. Because lol nothing matters.

Fucking give me all the badass Dr. Claire you have, show.

She’s on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget.

Nerina Pallot - Stay Lucky

Now, if you know me, or have at least had the ‘pleasure’ (a loose term reader[s]) to have had a conversation with me about music, religion, the economy, politics, memes or well… anything really I’ll probably have managed to shoe-horn in my penchant for a certain Jersey-born singer-songwriter. You may also know that isn’t my first musing about Nerina’s latest body of work I’ve released into the ether (see an extensive & exhaustive list ranking 2014’s Year of the EPs here). There is definitely a 3/4 written piece about the last LP The Sound And The Fury as well, which I never finished or uploaded; however the worry when writing anything about one of your musical heroes is the knowledge that they might just see (or at least tl;dr skim) & feel a sense of agony that their vision and artistry hasn’t been appreciated as intended, which is probably most likely due to my inane way of rambling & probably not articulating what I really want to say very well at all. Or that it just comes across a little bit sycophantic, like that video where Bradley Cooper (before he was famous) is in a studio audience blowing smoke up Sean Penn’s arse.

I digress and I will try to remain relatively concise in regard to what I want to share about Stay Lucky, Nerina’s 6th studio album. The tl;dr version of this is ‘OH MY WORD, WHAT AN ALBUM, BUY IT NOW’, but humour me for now and allow me to expand upon that a little;

The album opens with Juno, the original working title for the LP and a towering behemoth of an opener. Classic Nerina songwriting, however with a grand musical soundscape, reminding me of something that could be found on Kate Bush’s Ariel (albeit with a little more pop-sensibility & a lot more melody, Kate I love you, but I’m correct on this one) - “The prettiest bird in all of the world’s at my window” is repeated through the bridge before a soaring glide into the abyss around 2:35, followed by some stunning interpolation as the track draws to a close. The fluttering recalls the noise I think a bird’s wings would make if tied to musical instruments, anyway Juno is the one™ for me, but let’s not let that fool you into thinking the rest of Stay Lucky isn’t worth every loving crafted second of the 46:43 the records’ running time. The first time I heard Man Didn’t Walk On The Moon was its debut on Radio 2 while at my parents’ house, my mum relayed how catchy she thought it was and gosh wasn’t she right? Perfectly coquettish delivery of the lyrics throughout, and the line “I’ve got a cartoon heart & a SodaStream, baby look at us we’re a young love’s dream” has has never made me want to enjoy sparkling water & kiss boys more. Line up, line up, I’m going to Amazon Prime one first thing in the morning.

Bring Him Fire for me is a cross between I Saw The Light (from the Little Bull - EP [and one of my all time favourite Nerina songs fact fans]) & Spirit Walks (from 2015′s The Sound And The Fury) albeit with additional, though not superfluous strings throughout, which let’s be honest is a combination for excellence. The more I think about it, the more I think how perfect Come Into My Room would be playing over a soft-focus montage of characters having sex in a Love Actually sequel, with a cut away just as Nerina coo’s “cummmmm” at *ahem* climax of the song. The title track remains as stunningly beautiful as the first 150 times I played it - “And the greatest trick of life, is thinking that we’ll never die, darling don’t ask me why, it only makes me cry” still gives me a lump in my throat if I think about it too much.

I could say a lot more (and if we’re honest, you’ve probably not even got this far, so would it really matter if I kept shooting off on tangents?) but that saxophone outro is the highlight on Better, Fleur East who? Take me to a café in Paris, and I’m almost convinced that The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter needs be played on repeat for the rest of eternity there, go on, any café, I don’t mind, it’d be nice to have a holiday wouldn’t it? I’m not entirely sure if there’s another song that sums up the fatigue of waiting for someone to come along who may not even exist as well as this does, and as an aside, for weeks I’ve been paraphrasing “curse the languid afternoon” when I’m really bored in the office at work & someone thought I was verbose & intelligent, so thanks for that Nerina - I really can always count on you.

All Gold is a latter album highlight, it starts out a simple piano affair, before a phenomenal string arrangement accompanies what may be some of Nerina’s best vocals of her career. That’s a grand claim, I know, but they really are that good. The production on Stay Lucky is remarkably good throughout, however particularly strong on All Gold. I’m a stickler for a middle-eight as well, and this is the strongest offering on the album - the flourish of strings at 2:39 before “I’ve just got this feeling….” and the introduction of brass as Nerina & Rod Thomas (AKA Bright Light Bright Light) repeat the title gives me chills, I may have even done a little tiny cry the first time I heard it, but let’s keep that between us, okay? Okay.

Come Back To Bed for me captures the vibe of the Christmas Tabernacle shows, though I don’t think it’s ever been played there - but there’s something woozy about it all - like on Christmas Day when you’ve drunk a little too much egg nog & eaten a few too many mince pies, but a sexier, less-festive version of that. Notable mention to “If you’re sorry for what you said then honey…” *guitar plays the melody of the title* too, that’s a moment.. Closing the album is Bird “I’m so weary of keeping up” feels very fitting with everything that’s happened in the last couple of years, what a weird bloody place the world is at the moment. That detuned MonoPoly action for the middle-eight is sublime, prior to a necessary key change and subsequent chorus exclaiming “I’m living my life like its golden, golden” as the music, or bird in this case, flies away into the distance. As a keen ornithologist (honestly, look in my parents’ shed at the amount of bird books I have) I’m really appreciative that metaphorical bookends of the album of the year (there, I said it) compliment each other with similar imagery.

It’s hard to capture or articulate an emotion but I think Stay Lucky is the closest to describing the feeling of what falling in love is like without realising it, with that classic Pallot-melancholy I relate so well to sitting underneath it all. The album is an incredible addition to a back catalogue that your faves could only wish for - Nerina herself claims she isn’t Kate Bush & this isn’t an album the world was waiting for (which is ridiculous to be frank), however it’s the album I was waiting for & I couldn’t be more thankful. For everything x

and in the name of love, she’s coming back.

although it’s fairly confusing to point out the only one thing that CL lacks to make her own breakthrough in the US impossible, because duh, she has everything upon her sleeve, I think we can come to a final conclusion that it’d be good management.

what else does a leader of 2NE1, one of the pioneers in K-pop whose influence and contribution could never be denied since 2009, conceivably not have, unless a company with at least a functional brain which will let their artists release a goddamn album? y’all tell me.

the fact she’s from YG Entertainment (the shittiest company in South Korea, fyi only tho, just in case you’re clueless) had been the prominent reason for all the widespread frustrations growing from both important parties in this case (CL and her loyal fandom, GZB) since 2015.

2015 was like the perfect timing for her grand entry to the US, wasn’t it? her swaggering single ‘Hello Bitches’ was getting massive recognition, the high anticipation from both the general public and GZBs was rising higher than ever. not to mention her extensive connection! the relationship with all peeps from another side of the world that she builds throughout the years was beneficially helping to spread her brand out as an all-around rookie singer who’s more than ready to pull off ‘CL paves the way for Asian artists debuting in the US’ card. 

and here’s the most ridiculous joke of the decade; instead of dropping a ton of remarkable albums which she has worked on either in South Korea or the US, all she could have was a longass hiatus after the release of her debut single ‘Lifted’ (which I always think as a mere warm-up song lol) in 2016.

can y’all imagine that?

she’s a top-notch performer. her number one mission has always been to stun everyone the moment she’s stepping on stage. she was one of two artists that being asked to represent South Korea at the 2018 Pyeongchang Olympic closing ceremony and she ate the whole stadion alive.

imagine being none but a literal idiot for wasting her unmatched talents, her golden age, her unstoppable stage presence? I simply can’t be one because nah that certain level of stupidity is beyond my ability.

another painful story is, as many as GZBs who decided to faithfully stay and wait for her music, there was also a large number of them who heavily chose to leave. if you’re starting to wonder who to blame, whose fault is it? well, to be frankly honest, no one (it’s YG Entertainment’s fault tho but I had enough talking about that garbage so).

let me break the situation down for you.

she couldn’t release any song she have produced by herself, she’s basically getting locked up. the desperation was painfully too much to be borne, both for herself and GZBs. dozens of new groups get to debut every year. they’re fresh and young, they have a dozen of chances to promote their songs frequently, to showcase their capabilities. and how’s CL doing? what exactly has she been up to? not even one single fleeting glimpse existed. GZBs were left by confusion, were hanging by only futile hope to listen to her new album which seemed wouldn’t be getting released anytime soon. inevitably, some chose to leave yet the rest wanted to stay. they, whose commendable persistence, truly did.

when the news of her departure from that sexist company broke out in November 2019, following the announcement of the ‘IN THE NAME OF LOVE’ release (in less than a month since she left that broke agency, a glo up I aspire to have tbh) there was a huge relief within me. yes, solely a relief.

there was no scene of weeping a bucket of tears, or more extreme, an agonizingly painful blow within my chest, just like when they announced 2NE1’s disbandment three years ago. picture that as a twinge of irony, because it felt like years ago since the last time I could be just free of worry towards any news coming from K-pop artists I love (and in general tho tbh, 2019 is not definitely the best year of K-pop). that time, I couldn’t resist to pat my head and, if I may add, to give myself the highest praise for making a good decision. yes, hon, once in a lifetime. hashtag I’m indecisive and I knew it.

“smart of you to not ever forget her, to never have any slightest thought for leaving the fandom, to simply stay,” I told myself.

‘IN THE NAME OF LOVE’, a meaningful gift for her friends and GZBs. but above all, a thoughtful letter written by herself to herself which for the most part saying that it’s always okay to start all over again.

it’s an extended play (EP) that contains six songs in total and every two tracks will be dropped in one week. she just released the first two songs, +DONE161201+ and +REWIND170205+, and the responses are nothing but hearty applause. oh anyway, the numbers in each song correspond with the date when the songs were written, as if it’s a kind of diary that depicted her feelings over that time.

in spite of the fact that it’s written 3 years ago, ‘Done’ is an enjoyable and super catchy bop. it’s like a peaceful break-up anthem, something that you can claim as rare topic because recent break-up songs outhere are mostly about the wounded pain and sleepless nights (SHOUTOUT TO AKMU’S HOW CAN I LOVE THE HEARTBREAK WHEN YOU’RE THE ONE I LOVE they can have all the waters from my eyes I truly don’t mind). the lyrics are very straight-forward (which I appreciate the most) and somehow I can’t help but squeezing out some memories from my teenager days by listening to it religiously.

“don’t hit me up

don’t show up on me

the one who left me

baby boy, that was you

please don’t hit me up

don’t call me

I told you that you would regret this, you fool”

2NE1 was widely known for their empowering songs back then, remember? you are allowed to have a sort of vague or even a clear-cut distaste towards the songs they made in their peak of career, but you definitely can’t disregard the truth that they’re effin good at conveying “you broke up with me so you better get your ass out and never come back to me and say you regret everything because duh boy adios” message. been a devoted Blackjack (2NE1’s fandom name) since 2010, it’s just really delightful for me to finally hear their distinctive sound again in newer production provided by the leader. if any of you are in desperate need of a clean break-up jam, Done is a decent choice. btw my personal favorite part of the song is:

“tears I shed for you is my last gift for you

what’s done is done”

(IT’S WAY TOO RELATEABLE I,,)

moving on to the second track, ‘Rewind’ aka a song that turned me into a miserable mess the first second I listened to it. I’m not a genius in music and its magical pieces of stuff but it doesn’t take a genius either to understand the meaning of this song is THAT deep.

“where did we go wrong? I don’t know

it’s too late to say goodbye

let’s try solving this unpromising puzzle

you don’t wanna let me go, me neither

the curtain between us

open it up and let’s rewind”

I think she’s like talking to herself. she’s questioning why everything is falling apart, why things aren’t right in the first place. then after dealing with not-so-momentary confusion and hesitation, she came up with a decision that she only had to go back to the beginning and start over. and it may not be the easiest thing to be done, but even so it’s not a serious problem because she knows that she’s more than capable of proving herself, that she’s never alone along every step in another big journey ahead of her. I’d say ‘Rewind’ is a very encouraging song, it feels so uplifting to be heard on your heavy days.

also, the music videos for both songs are quite personal and emotionally soul-stirring. she produced the video by herself hence you can easily notice the simplicity and creativity she carried on there. one thing that ought to be highlighted is the people who were shown in the music videos. they are her closest friends slash constant supports which are playing an irreplaceable part in her life, especially when times were rough for her with all US debut preparation and everything. on a lighter note, I’m profoundly thankful to know she’s never alone while facing all hardships she got to encounter, that she’d never be obligated to dissemble her feelings because she’s surrounded by her own people who are always all ears for her.

to sum everything up, ‘IN THE NAME OF LOVE’ is a heartwarming start.

it’s not the main release for her high-anticipated return to the music scene, but instead, it brings a long-awaited comfort to the table as if she’s saying “hey fam guess what? I’m still here, I won’t ever give up, let’s do it now” to GZBs. her previous agency had done nothing but ruined her chances to make everything big on time and as now she’s no longer prisoned (I sound so bitter ok I know), I simply can’t wait to see what she got in store and am beyond ready to give my utmost support for a ton of albums she will be releasing from now on.

4 years filled only with the long stretches of waiting have passed, and that, surely not in a blink of an eye. but somehow, she made it. so did GZBs.

welcome back, CL. been long time, hasn’t it?

(1) hi! i hope you're doing good because damn 12x15 was a rollercoaster 👀 i hope they do justice to all the things they're foreshadowing to in regards to dean. this is gonna sound petty but was it just me or did anyone else notice the way he said "let's hope it still runs"? he calls the car "it", not "she", moments after berating sam for her condition and a few hours after calling her a "beautiful woman." idk why that really struck me. i have been reading your dean-impala parallels so

(2) what do you make of that? also did anyone else grimace when dean said "girl of the week"? excuse me? i didn't know you switched jobs from hunting monsters to saving poor damsels in distress who can't even hit a hellhound with an axe- oh wait.... --___--(3) (i am so sorry for the spam but this ep left me kinda bitter) no offence but cas has been caught in the same situation so many times where angels keep telling him he is not welcome in heaven but it is still his home, why :/ what do you make of The Return Of Joshua lmao(4) last one i promise: dean did nothing but go in the woods with crowley, take a walk, talk about stuff that had no relation with the plot or character development, sounded gay just for the heck of it, and was a good waste of quite a few hours? :// also he kinda joined BMoL so your feelings on that? it seemed like smth he told himself he was doing for his family bc thats how he is but maybe he just didn't want to be alone and feel like they chose the BMoL over him... 

Good evening dear!

Well there go a lot of questions. :) I’m gonna tackle all of them one after the other in the order you asked them.

Yes, I did actually stumble upon the “hope it still runs” as well when I re-watched the episode. During first watch I hadn’t really heard that. And it is indeed I personally think meant to stand out. It’s a distancing happening here that I am seeing directly in line with how Dean consciously and very decidedly distanced himself from their mother the episode before by calling her Mary instead of Mom (see here). We have seen this kind of treating the Impala as an it only once before: when Dean was a demon. And that is indeed an interesting aspect to keep in the back of your mind, because as much as the Impala is a symbol for Dean himself, it is also an object directly tied to family. When Dean was a demon however, he didn’t feel any kind of responsibility or care for the people he usually feels closest too. Instead he only did what he wanted without taking anybody else’s emotions into account. There have been a few allusions and nods to Dean’s time as a demon/with the MoC in the past few episodes and this is especially interesting in so far as the last few episodes very directly eroded the feeling of family Dean craved and the understanding and wishes he had for it. In the past few episodes he has been lied to, betrayed, walked all over and treated as being ridiculous for feeling the way he felt (and which he had every right to feel like, because well, he wasn’t going behind someone else’s back) and in the end even decided to work with the BritMoL against his better knowledge and wishes, because his closest family “chose” the BritMoL over Dean or rather their own set of dealing with stuff. So yeah, in that regard imo one could read this moment as one more sign of Dean shutting down in order to not get hurt any further.

Aside from that however, one could also assume btw that Dean meant the engine with “it” - that the engine still runs when the car was damaged so much.

The “girl of the week”-line to me seemed like one of those moments the writers tried to be funny and maybe even a bit “meta”, but instead it was just a bit eyeroll-worthy. I think however that Dean said it with enough sarcasm and self deprecation in his voice that I didn’t get that vibe from it that you did. :) The line in itself was absolutely un-needed though.

I do get the disappointment. What the show is doing with Cas’ arc is dissatisfying too, especially as they had made such major progress with Cas up until this point in the season with him pinpointing his feelings and emotions, etc. and now they go back to yet another round of “Cas trying to reconcile with Heaven” and it ending with Castiel being even more beatdown in the aftermath of it and likely hated even more so that his depression will only get worse. I truly think the issue with these stories lies in the fact that the writers sadly have no clue what to do with Cas and because they need to explain his absence and Misha not beign in more episodes in some silly fashion Castiel must always be on some other mission. And yeah... I wished they stopped with that. I do hope that this will be the final part of Castiel’s arc before he choses to become human on his own terms. Because for that I think it is vital for Cas to return to Heaven once more, feeling like he redeemed himself yet another time, but most importantly isn’t remembered and hated any longer. I personally hope that this may be Castiel’s last mission with the angels. A mission that wil show him succeed and would mean him being welcome back in the fold in Heaven and getting the chance to be with his “family” again as the angel said in this episode. I think it is vital that Cas will go back and will be considered part of the family again in Heaven in order for him to truly realize what he has voiced multiple times before: that he may be an angel, but his home and family is no longer Heaven. That’s my hope for this arc.

I am a bit weary about Joshua tbh. I just hope he won’t be turned into another power hungry angel, because I did really like Joshua as the gardener in 5x16 “Dark Side of the Moon”. I really hope they’ll use the same actor too. That said, story wise I’m not sure why they introduce exactly him, we’ll maybe because he was closest to God for a while, but yeah... No immediate thoughts on him. I just hope he won’t trun out being a massive dick.

I actually really enjoyed Crowley and Dean walking through the woods together and having that conversation. It of course echoed the conversation they had in 10x18 “Inside Man” and it does show that despite everything they do in some fashion care or at the very least appreciate the other one. To me that conversation actually did relate quite directly to the episode and big arc as imo the point is to contrast “monsters” who do good with “humans” (BritMoL) who are way more dangerous and monstrous. Like the conversation highlighted was: there are a whole lot of shades of grey between black and white - which the BritMoL aren’t even interested in seeing.

And last but not least Sam’s revelation about the BritMoL: I think Dean has sown very clearly how disillusioned and hurt he is by Sam’s and Mary’s actions and their lies to him and with Sam even worse having him work for the BritMoL without Dean even knowing. To me Dean hasn’t joined the BritMoL at all. He was bullied into saying alright, we give it a shot, but he is not on board with it and I don’t think that will change at any point in time. I think what the show is heading towards is a moment where either Sam will not bail with Dean as he had promised and that will cause even more tension or Dean may be considered too rebelious and therefore may have to suffer whatever the other hunter they called “rogue” did too. And sadly it may only then be that Mary and Sam truly get a grip on what nasty fuckers the BritMoL really are. But that’s of course just my personal headcanon. :)

Hope I didn’t forget any question.

Grizzly Bear- Painted Ruins Tour

                 Last Tuesday I had the pleasure of catching Grizzly Bear and Serpentwithfeet at Royal Oak Music Theatre as the former act were touring behind their most recent LP, Painted Ruins. Throughout the past decade Grizzly Bear have grown from Ed Droste’s bedroom lo-fi folk project into one of the most consistently rewarding bands of any genre. Painted Ruins altered their sound more than any record in their catalogue since Yellow House, but even while bathed in additional digital texture there’s no mistaking the sound of Grizzly Bear for any other band. The show that they performed lived up to the high bar set by most of their albums. While it’s hard to say if Grizzly Bear will ever release another album as phenomenal as Shields or Veckatimest, it seems certain that their singular live show is only going to grow more powerful with each successive release of theirs.

                 Serpentwithfeet opened for Grizzly Bear, and although he sang quietly behind unassuming gothic soul loops, his presence was undeniable. His delivery was in constant flux; at one moment he could be spitting double time flows and then an instant later he’s drawing out one word through several melodic phrases, but he never once seemed to stumble over his thorny vocal passages. Some of his songs seemed to bleed together or just linger in the ether before he struck a more notable transition, but by and large he delivered an immensely captivating performance. His vocal range itself simply astounds, and while he delivered the majority of his set with refreshing nuance, there were a few moments where he simply couldn’t help himself, and would soar to the limits of his register. Although he only has the Blisters EP to his name, I have no reason to doubt that Serpentwithfeet could go on to release plenty of extraordinary music if he so chooses.

                 After forty minutes or so Grizzly Bear finally emerged and took their well-documented, horizontal row position on stage with a fifth touring member, Aaron Arntz, working various electronics behind the four of them. Aside from the additional touring support, Grizzly Bear consists of Ed Droste on vocals, keyboards, a sampler, and occasional guitar; Daniel Rossen on vocals, guitar, and occasional keyboard; Chris Taylor on vocals, bass, saxophone, flute, and clarinet; and Christopher Bear on vocals and drums. Each song had either Droste or Rossen singing lead, with harmonies provided by the other, and the other two members frequently joining in with backing vocals. As soon as the band took the stage they jumped into “Four Cypresses”, one of the weaker singles from Painting Ruins. While still a good song, it’s far from one of their finest, but their live performance tore their recorded version to pieces, in effect setting the tone for the night.

                 While their albums strongly suggest they’re a studio band first and foremost, it’s no secret that each member of this band has some ridiculous chops, and the level of cohesion that exists within the sound of these four members playing together is practically unparalleled in contemporary music. Since Yellow House, Droste and Rossen have emerged as one of the finest songwriting duos this century, and they way they harmonize with one another and play off each other’s leads is the kind of magic that, while captured wonderfully on record, exists on a completely elevated level within a live context. Rossen’s playing, while stellar, is usually fairly reserved, so it was a treat to watch him left loose and absolutely shred a few times. Chris Taylor is an exceptional bass player, and while it’s easy to gloss over that when discussing his contributions to the band in favor of his consistently stellar production and the sheer range of instruments he brings to the table, it shouldn’t be understated just how singular and crucial his bass playing is in shaping their sound. Droste’s vocals actually sounded better live than they do on any Grizzly Bear album, and while Taylor and Bear rarely provide vocals more prominent than backup, it’s easy to overlook the fact that they’re both legitimately great singers in their own rights.

                 “Losing All Sight” and “Cut-Out” followed “Four Cypresses”, and both sounded more fleshed out, and adventurous than their studio versions. After these three songs Grizzly Bear began dipping into their pre-Painted Ruins material, beginning with the Shields highlight “Yet Again”. “Yet Again” is one of Grizzly Bear’s finest songs to date, and they completely delivered. Droste gave perhaps his strongest vocal performance of the evening, perfecting distilling the melancholy of “Take it all in stride/speak, don’t confide” and Rossen tore into a blistering solo throughout the coda, the likes of which seem to defy the very essence of Grizzly Bear. The only songs that they played during their set that disappointed were “Ready, Able” and “Neighbors”. They’re two of Grizzly Bear’s best songs, and the band was simply unable to convey the inherent bombast in each. The iconic ringing keys in the former were completely drowned out, while the latter didn’t feel like it was given enough time to develop organically. Aside from those two, every rendition sounded as good if not much better than it sounds on record.

                 In fact, save for “Neighbors”, everything that they played from Painted Ruins sounded better live than it does on that album. “Three Rings” is one of the best songs on Painted Ruins, and was completely amplified in a live context where the intricate instrumental interplay between bandmates is palpable. Both “Losing All Sense” and “Morning Sound” both sounded more fluid, and felt renewed with a sense of urgency absent on their recorded versions. “Four Cypresses”, while not a particularly ideal choice for an opening song, still sounded terrific and showcased some of Rossen’s finest singing throughout their entire set. Their performance really put into perspective just how dynamic much of Painted Ruins is, and how much those songs grow in power outside the confines of the studio. The new material worked seamlessly with their older work and illustrated that for all the additional texture and production sheen, these are still Grizzly Bear songs inside and out, and a few of them are right up there with the best music they’ve ever written.

                 Aside from the cuts that they played off of Painted Ruins, the band performed a fair number of their best songs to date, and they managed to strike an ideal balance between crowd pleasers and deep cuts. “Speak in Rounds” was a refreshing spike in tempo following the majority of the set, and seamlessly built off the momentum from “Morning Sound”. “Two Weeks” was a given, and Taylor’s harmonies were simply immaculate. “Two Weeks” also felt like a perfectly natural transition coming off of “Neighbors”, right before they segued into “Foreground”. As much as I enjoyed what followed, I almost wish they had ended their set with “Foreground”. Droste was at his most foreboding here, and the whole band lurched forward with an unsettling grace that’s utterly transfixing. “While You Wait for the Others” ended the main set, and following a brief departure from the stage the band returned for “Knife”, and “Sun in my Eyes”. The former had the best harmonies of anything they played that evening, and the latter, while not as ideal a closing song as “Foreground”, was nevertheless still a fitting, and superbly realized finale.

                 Grizzly Bear are over a decade removed from their breakthrough LP, and it’s reasonable to wonder how much more they have left in them as a working band. Painted Ruins took five years to materialize following Shields, and while it’s still a very good record in its own right, it doesn’t reach the impeccable heights of Shields or Veckatimest. As far as their live show is concerned, however, it’s hard to imagine they’ve ever been better. There’s a cohesiveness to their playing that greatly exceeds that of most groups, and along with their writing process, and stage set-up, the democratic tag that’s so generously applied to them couldn’t be more deservedly cliché. They’re the kind of band that, despite inevitable diminishing returns given they record long enough, I’d still want to go out of my way to see any chance that I get. Bands with the attention to craft that Grizzly Bear possess are far and few between, and there are very few thrills that compare to the sound of the four of them harmonizing over intricately layered psych-folk. It’s chaos, but it works.