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#and even then it was kind of a slog to get through
swarnpert · 2 years
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watching analysis videos about the newer 3d pokemon games (main series) and getting really depressed because like all games series nowadays it's about quantity over quality now and i know everyone is saying the same thing it's just very sad to see coming from probably my all time favorite game series
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goldkirk · 10 months
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I AM SO GLAD I'M STILL ALIVE FOR ALL THIS
#personal#really thought the blob full of nothing but terror and grief stage was permanent for a while there#and i wasn't even suicidal anymore i thought i had just permanently borked my brain#no!!!!!!! it just needed time! and my body needed more health!!! and i needed more community again!#DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!! if you're seeing this and you're exhausted beyond your bones or being eaten alive by a black hole#please know that you don't need to have hope and you don't need to be gung ho about it to survive#just keep going through the slog and take any opportunity that seems vaguely better each time you can#and rest rest rest i guarantee you that you need unholy amounts of rest that you're not getting#and just hold on. just hold on. it might take years but god everyone was right it was worth it to stay and keep going a while longer#you can give up on life. just don't give up on yourself. you keep hold of yourself and don't let ANYONE convince you to let go including#your own brain. you are SO much cooler and braver and wilder and livelier than you think you are and you're only going to improve over time#i love you and i'm here if there's anything i can do for you#don't be afraid to change your mind and don't be afraid to demand your right to live#those are my two rules for life at this point besides the cardinal rule of 'everyone is suffering and traumatized so be as kind as possible#and watch what happens in a snowball effect around you'#i love you. i love you. i am so glad i am alive to love you.
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littlepetbee · 8 months
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cannot relate to anyone who willingly tells authority figures things. or who just...volunteers information to them without being asked?? bitch if they want to know anything, they can come to me. this mouth stays closed unless it's forcibly pried tf open and even then the words are shoved through eight different filters before they come out, perfectly form-fitted to whichever Person With Power Over Me is fucking asking. be smart about it! grow up!
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arrowpunk · 2 years
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My GOSH I am having so much FUN watching all these videos about animation and learning how to animate and the different principles of animation and how to start animating and all that
A couple days ago I opened up clip studio and just figured out how to add the music I wanted and made sure that the file was going to be the right length, and drew a couple rough frames just to make sure that I put certain scenes it during the correct beat of the song and it was just SO fun
I wasn’t expecting it to be this fun tbh but yeah
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aberooski · 3 months
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I've the most horrendous writer's block 😭
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demonicbaby666 · 18 days
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Dom Emily prentiss x intern fem reader is all i ask!! Smutty ofc, a lil bit of a humiliation kink if you’re comfortable!!! Thank yewww
Packing Heat
One shot | Criminal Minds Masterlist | Masterlists
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Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader
Genre: Smut
Words: 4.8k+
Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, strap-ons (r!receiving), semi-public sex (office sex, again…), praise, degradation, mommy kink, kind of dub-con at one point, top!Emily, bottom!reader
Summary: Interning at the BAU means you don’t interact with the person in charge a lot. Of course, this doesn’t mean you haven’t seen the section chief in passing or exchanged pleasantries; it's that they’re simple, short-lived and often anti-climatic. However one evening, you find yourself in the desolate office with no chance of going home, work to be done, but no one to sit with you through the process. With only one other soul residing on the sixth floor, it seems Emily may be your best bet for company.
A/n: Listen, could she be more dom? Yes. Is there any humiliation? Not really... But I got lost while writing, so please don't be mad at me... Hope you still enjoy!
When you'd first started at the BAU, it was safe to say you hadn't seen much of the woman calling the shots. There were always updates about when the team were taken out of state, what their cases would entail, the steady progress being made, and the brief comical encounters Garcia spewed around the office. When they were back, everyone made an effort to small talk. They welcomed you well and continued to appreciate the little things you did for them daily. Emily, however, was constantly on the go, meaning every encounter you'd had with her consisted of one-way glances and hopeful smiles in the event she decided to notice her surroundings and the human lifeform less than two metres away. 
She never did, though, until one uneventful evening. 
Almost everyone had vacated the building. The only remaining souls left on the sixth floor were you, Emily, and a one-person cleaning crew—whom you watched exit through glass doors before approaching the brunette's office with shaky knees. Peeking through the window, you saw her attention dart to and from the bright computer screen to the mountains of bureaucratic paperwork lying atop her desk. It was easy to get lost in the little creases between her eyebrows, brought out by the deep scowl she wore, the delicate way her fingers were woven together, and the pads of her thumbs skirting against one another as she pondered in deep thought. 
It was nearing eight, and you were struggling to understand how someone could appear so put together at this late hour, given that their day was most certainly jam-packed with non-stop slog. 
Emily's eyes suddenly flashed up. She squinted toward her door, trying to figure out who'd be here this late other than herself. When she appeared to have worked it out, she leaned back victoriously in her chair, a smug smile on her face, when she called out, "Are you going to stand out there all night?" 
You could have done two things: scurried off like a teenager caught peeping or held your chin up high and walked into the older woman's office with little to no shame. Somehow, you managed to do a mix of both, scurrying in with sagging shoulders, a guilty smile plastered on your face and trembling hands clasping your laptop over your chest.
"Well, it's eerily quiet out there, and I would go home to write this paper. It's just that my roommate and her boyfriend have an awful tendency to forget about volume control when they're—" You cut yourself off, realising it probably wasn't appropriate to talk to your boss about your roommate's over-the-top borderline pornographic soundscape. "I was wondering if I could, you know."
Emily, satirising as ever, waited with a raised eyebrow and a relaxed smile for you to continue your purposefully unfinished question. 
"Sorry, I should let you work." You surrendered to your weak resolve with flushed cheeks and began to turn around.
"Sit," she ordered before you had fully turned back around to the door, nodding to the available chair on the other side of her desk. Her eyes followed your journey to the seat, watching as you placed your laptop down and opened it with shaky fingers. Satisfied, she turned her attention back to her work. "I could do with some company." 
The following silence, starting as unsettling and stagnant, blossomed into something warm and comfortable. There were occasional glances thrown your way and vice versa. Their acknowledgement and appreciation were shown in the form of timid smiles on your end and double takes followed by teasing smirks on Emily's. 
When half an hour had passed, your shoulders had finally relaxed, your fingers had stopped their infernal twitching, and your paper neared its completion. There was a proud smile cresting, and you were trying to prevent it from forming, knowing how dorkish it made you look. But you knew there was no hope when your cheeks ached and your jaw locked. You granted yourself the freedom to display your gloating smile. 
Just as expected, Emily had a questioning look on her face when you dared to look up from the document. There was a playfulness to the upward quirk of her lips - the superiority of a predator knowing the power they have over their prey, ready to prove it at any given moment. 
"I've almost finished," you timidly admitted, feeling obligated to explain as heat infiltrated your jutted-out cheeks. 
Without a second thought, the ravenette stood up and made her way around the desk. She could have easily chosen to turn the laptop around. Instead, she took the far more intimate route. 
Soft curves grazed your shoulder blades, causing you to shiver. The weight finally settled, soft padding pressed flat against your back as Emily read your paper, and suddenly, your stomach had worked itself into looping knots, and your heart was racing. 
The struggle continued as you fought not to fidget, if only to alleviate the growing tension mounting between your thighs. This was only made worse when Emily's right hand left the back of your chair to drop down over your shoulder and land comfortably on your thigh. 
"Such a smart girl," she whispered sultrily into the shell of your ear, squeezing generous flesh between her fingers. 
With a scrambled brain, there was little fight to be put up against the meek whimper that crackled against the constricted lining of your throat. Subconsciously, your thighs tensed, and your pussy fluttered as you were reminded how close Emily's hand was to where you could only dream she'd touch. 
You'd thought you imagined it—the subtle shift in the room from breezy and light to torrid and all-consuming, but with Emily's fingers veering off course, inching higher and higher, reality came crashing down. 
"Thank you," you struggled to get the words out, and when they did come out, they were tremulous and feeble. 
Turning to look at her may have, in hindsight, been a mistake because where her gaze should have been fixed on the laptop screen, it was glued to your lips. Unexpectedly, your stomach flipped, and you felt dizzy. She was still superbly perfect up close, skin smooth like silk, cheekbones sharp as a razor, and lips cut from velvet. It was too close, dangerously so, you had to look away. Outside the window, you spotted a swarm of birds barely visible against the night sky. You ignored the clanking of your heart as you focussed on their synchronicity, watching them circle each other until they became one big blur of messy movements. 
The hand resting on the leather backing of your chair rose, skirting up and over your neck, until a firm grip was established around your dangling ponytail. She was gentle when she tugged, aware that though she wanted to educate you in the art of being owned, you were delicate.
"I think a pretty thing like you deserves a reward," she baited. "Don't you?" 
Her grip on you may have been physical. However, a stronger pull was coming from deep within you, an unimportant piece of scrap metal drawn in by a powerful magnet. It was useless to deny her. The mesmerising glow of her chocolate eyes and the promise of being made to feel special was too powerful. So, you nodded slowly but eagerly, desire painting your eyes dark shades of lust. 
"That's a good girl." 
Emily didn't miss how you preened at the praise and safely stored that information away for further use. She shifted to your side, hands migrating to the small of your waist, guiding you to your feet. The act of it was far gentler than you'd expected, like a gentleman asking a maiden to dance, sweeping her off her feet to whisk her away into a fairytale land filled with magic and romance. 
Certain the benign treatment would be short-lived, you granted yourself the leniency to enjoy it whilst it lasted, refusing to get too caught up in the dull ache between your legs that craved the form of savagery Emily displayed in the field. 
There was nothing short of passion in how she worked. It drove you crazy. As wrong as it felt, you couldn't help but envy the dirtbag the team was working to catch because you saw how badly the brunette wanted them. The look in her eyes, gratification and disgust all at once, when she'd achieved what she set out to do and was staring the devil right in the face - it made your heart race, your palms sweat and your cunt throb. 
The memory kickstarted what could only be described as a brutal attack upon the older woman's lips. To her credit, Emily indulged the outburst for a lot longer than you'd have thought. As if she'd expected it, she quickly responded, pulling you into her body and tilting her head to the side to deepen the kiss. The lead was stolen promptly from your grasp when Emily wedged a leg between your thighs, backed you up against her desk and tactically slid her tongue into your gaped mouth. You would have gasped if not for the fact you were immediately indulged in the minty taste of your boss's tongue skirting over the roof of your mouth. So much so that you scarcely noticed the pressure coming from your core was no longer just a phantom need manifested but taut clothed muscle pressing you further and further into the sharp wooden edge of the desk. 
"Emily," you breathily moaned, pulling back and separating your kiss-swollen lips from the brunette's. Ordinarily, you wouldn't have allowed what happened next to occur, but this was Emily, after all, the BAU section chief, and if you were to let anyone order you about, it would be her. 
She backed away from you with a final nip to your bottom lip, letting it go with a pop, and you fought the urge to reach out and pull her back to you. You knew you'd already tried to take things into your own hands once, and doing so again may undermine any chances you had of keeping the ball rolling on tonight's affairs. 
You could feel the tight pull of your ponytail and all the places where hair had been lead array from the confines of your hairband, and it truly dawned on you how out of sorts you must have appeared. Tracing your fingers over your lips, you could make out how swollen they were - puffy and hot, yet desperate and pouted, begging for more. Your breathing was laboured, filling the room's silence, and your shirt suddenly felt too tight as your chest expanded with each intake of oxygen. It almost came as a relief when Emily opened her mouth to finally speak until you heard what she'd said.
"Take your clothes off," she mindlessly ordered, walking around to her chair and sitting back in it. Her eager eyes trained over your body with the faintest shimmer of mirth. 
Initially, it was a shock. Of course, it was. You were in an official government building, personnel still sparsely spread throughout, and a goddess of a woman was asking you to bare yourself to her. 
For the longest time, revealing your body to someone always felt like giving up something. Perhaps some kind of purity. The moment you gave it up, it bred only guilt and shame that twisted and pulled at the pit of your stomach until you felt sick. You stood there, waiting for that feeling to come. It never did. 
Remaining still, your body pulsed not with nerves but with exhilaration and anticipation. It took a few seconds to realise this was precisely what you wanted. You wanted to give this false sense of purity away. There was not a sudden influx of courage soaring through every living cell of your body. However, there was enough for you to put on a front and do as you were told. 
"Slowly." Emily sat further back and placed her elbows neatly over the arms of her chair. She laced her fingers together, offered you an encouraging nod, and then was back to watching you raptly.
Feeling like a glutton, you followed a path of desire and heeded Emily's request, fingers increasingly fumbling over each button of your shirt. 
"So obedient." And in no way was it said negatively; the adulatory smile she gave you only sought to prove that further. 
The way she looked at you made you feel as though you were already naked. Maybe that was why it was so easy to get lost in the subtlety of undressing. It was art, and you were a performer. That's what you told yourself. And for the most part, it worked. 
With closed eyes, you trailed your fingers over your shoulders, letting your shirt drop to the floor. The AC raised goosebumps over your chest, pebbled your nipples under your plain bra, and you smiled. You smiled because this was the most alive you had felt in months. The thrill of moving on to your slacks and deftly unclasping your belt felt like being on a rollercoaster, like missing a step and laughing fear in the face afterwards. You felt utterly fearless. 
In the back of your mind, you could sense Emily's eyes still on you. You could hear her moving around but didn't think to check her reaction. You were in your element, and far be it for a look of appraisal, or lack of, to stop you. That was until your trousers hit the carpet with a soft thud, and a sharp breath was heard from across you. 
Your eyes snapped open, and you found Emily's smile was absent. The brunette now had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she looked you up and down, knuckles white from her deadly grip over the armrests. 
She lifted a hand, palm facing the ceiling as her index and middle finger crooked. "Come here so I can get a proper look at you," she said, slightly breathless. 
The desk had conveniently covered the lower half of Emily's body, which meant that when you circled around and came to stand next to her, you could see exactly what the earlier ruffling had been about. 
"Is that?" You froze, both shocked and utterly intrigued by the thick black dildo jutting out from the older woman's opened slacks. 
She didn't need you to finish the question, already nodding as she followed your line of sight. Leaning forward with an outstretched arm, Emily coiled her fingers around your wrist and pulled you forward, causing you to almost stumble over your own feet. At this closer distance, you could tell the faux cock would give you a run for your money. It was thicker than anything you had taken before, though that was not a hard trophy to earn, given that the most you had let anyone put inside you was three fingers. 
"Do you want to come sit on mommy's lap?" Emily asked with a tilt of her head. 
She didn't miss how your breath caught in your throat, how you seemed to stop blinking, stop moving, stop existing.
"Are you scared?" the lioness asked, sights set on her prized fawn. 
You shook your head and placed one foot in front of the other, eyes downcast as you took in the size of Emily's additional appendage. The shake of your jaw gave you away. 
"I don't like being lied to," she snapped, eyes dimming to an even darker shade of brown. 
She pulled you in by your waist and sat you on her lap, cock brushing over the thin material of your underwear. Instinctively, you wedged your bottom lip between your teeth to quiet yourself. But Emily wasn't having any of it. Her thumb came to your captive lip, where she helped release it with a soft flick. 
The smooth texture of Emily's cock through your sodden panties was a needed relief. Its head purposefully pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves evoked a flurry of shivers to run down your spine. And with nothing holding you back, you moaned in gratitude. 
"Feels good, doesn't it?" Emily smirked, watching you rut against her. 
"Yes," you uttered, breath caught in your throat. 
Happy to watch, Emily relaxed her shoulders and leaned back, enjoying the show you were putting on for her. Only when she recognised the tell-tell signs of frustration wash over your features, from your creased brow to the bite of your lip between your teeth, did a sick smirk lick the edges of her lips. With a mischievous glint shining in her eyes, the older woman shifted her position, pointedly ignoring the sound it pulled from you. 
"Something wrong?" she asked with a hitch of one eyebrow, adamant to appear oblivious. 
You gave no reply, only held tight to her shoulders in defiance and continually ground down on her, trying so hard to pleasure yourself to no avail that your eyes began to sting with the emergence of tears. 
With sweat threatening to spill down the side of your face, the tension between your legs starting to ache, and your release nowhere near in sight, you threw your head back with a sigh and whispered a quiet 'please' to the ceiling.
"Please what?" Came the dull reply, tone bored, unamused, unimpressed.  
You tried to impale yourself, failing as strong hands held you down. It was driving you crazy—pleasure being so close yet so far. 
With one hand removed from your hip, Emily gripped your jaw and turned your attention solely to her stern gaze, "Are you going to stop being a brat and tell me what you want?" 
When no answer came, she let go, jerking your head back as if disgusted with the lack of compliance. 
"Get up." 
Ice, you were made of ice. Sat still, shocked, speechless and slightly mortified. 
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Emily's voice was no longer flat; it was not roaring either. Instead, it was layered, resembling the same barbed tone a teacher might use with a disobedient student. It was enough of a motivator to get you to rise to your feet. 
Following you closely, the older woman, too, rose to her full height, hands meticulously reaching behind your back to expertly relieve you of your bra. Never once did she look you in the eye. 
With the same callous approach, you were turned and pressed against the desk, papers sticking to your heated chest. Emily was quick to loop her fingers through the hem of your underwear and slip them down your thighs, allowing gravity to do the rest. 
The full-bodied presence behind you lessened, and you took it as the opportune moment to glance back. 
The brunette had let her trousers drop to the floor, allowing you to see how her porcelain skin was directly contrasted by the black leather of her strap-on. Unlike yourself, she did not appear nervous or afraid. As she kicked the tailored pants aside and met your gaze, you realised how in control she was. 
Her gaze moved down your body, hands running down your back, until finally, she pressed herself against you and lowered her body atop yours. 
"I can feel how wet you are," she teased, running two fingers through the mess between your legs. "Are you always this wet?" 
"Emily, please," you begged. 
"I asked before, please what?" She raked five fingers down your side, moving them back up till they wound tightly in your hair and gripped your neck to an uncomfortable arch. Two fingers pushed inside you but did no more than that, remaining still as stone. "If you're going to be a baby and refuse to tell me what you want, you'll get nothing." 
"Fuck me!" You no longer had the sound of mind to acknowledge shouting something vulgar could attract attention. Logic had evaded you, allowing you to play right into your boss's hands. "Please just fuck me."
Sliding her slick fingers out of you, she proudly stated, "That wasn't hard, was it?"
If the older woman wanted an answer, she did not allow for one. In one fluid motion, she rose from over you and snapped her hips forward, sheathing the entire length of her cock into your cunt. Your breath caught in your throat, resulting in a strained groan tumbling out of your open mouth. The pit of your stomach dropped, and try as you might have not to clench around the toy inside you, you did precisely that. 
It was new, the foreign feeling of being filled so fully that one slight move would summon pleasure that sent shivers through your whole body. It wasn't unwelcome, especially when Emily started to move, and heat engulfed your entire body. Her pace was languid, allowing you to feel each slide of her cock along your slick walls, how each push of her hips ended in the tip hitting the spot within you to cause the furling in your stomach to expand tenfold. It was all you could do not to scream when the push and pull and Emily's hips moved with more purpose, jerking your body into the edge of her desk. 
"I've barely started, and you're already dripping down your thighs." Her voice was laced with mirth, finger smearing your mess as if to prove an unnecessary point that had your cheeks burning up. "How long have you been thinking about this?" Emily finished her question with an arduous thrust. "How many times have you sunk your fingers into your pussy and thought of me?" 
The questions continued, each hitting the nail right on the head. Your cheeks were scorched with the embarrassment that comes with having your desires known and exposed, but it did not take hold of your conscience as the event of falling in front of a large crowd might have. It was comparable to how a blushing maiden may feel when caught by a suitor in only their undergarments. It excited that small part of you that gave in to demoralisation and encouraged you enough to meet Emily halfway as she thrust into you. 
As your pleasure mounted, the need for more grew. Your clit, swollen and needy, begged for relief, and you beckoned to its call, sliding one hand from above your head to the juncture between your legs. It was when the tips of your fingers brushed against your sensitive pearl and you gained the briefest taste of the euphoria that Emily removed her hand from your thigh and snatched your hand away, halting all movement. 
You could have cried, having everything, then nothing, so quickly. 
"Did I say you could do that?" 
Abruptly pulling out, Emily stood tall and proud, staring down at you with curiosity and disappointment lining the brown of her eyes. She heard you whimper and acknowledged your sniffle. 
"There's no need to cry," she tutted, flipping you onto your back and lifting you by your shoulders. "You're going to listen to me from now on." 
You nodded, and she once again lined her cock to your opening, only now she waited, taunting you with possibilities. 
"Beg," she instructed. 
And you heeded. 
"Please. I need you." 
"You can do better." She sounded bored, and this struck a nerve within you, one that begged you to impress her, show her you could be a good little girl, and beg as though your life depended on it. 
You took a heaving breath and looked into Emily's eyes, sporting your best puppy eyes. "I need you. I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me with your big cock, mommy. Make me scream out your name. I need it." 
"There's a good pet," she cooed, mesmerising you with the bating of her lashes as she looked down to where your bodies were so close to touching. 
It all happened in a blur. The next thing you knew, your nails were digging into muscled shoulders, legs wrapping around a slim waist as the brunette filled you, wasting no time in picking up a brutal tempo. You barely recognised the sound of your voice as high-pitched obscenities spilt past your lips. You felt your whole body light up, heard blood pulse in your ears, and saw in real-time just how easy it was to aid Emily in calling upon your impending orgasm. 
Your vulgar mouth, luckily, seemed to amuse Emily enough for her to let you continue rutting your hips against her. The corners of her lips curled, and her smirk lasted only so long for you to see before she inched forward and kissed you with passion and hunger. It was easy, so easy, to melt into the brief moment of intimacy. The butterflies felt tangible, and the sparks crackled in your ears; it felt so fucking good you'd almost forgotten just where you were. Of course, bubbles eventually popped, and this one was demolished by rustling outside Emily's office. 
What little movement Emily allowed, her hands holding you firmly against the desk by your waist, was not enough to wriggle free and glance behind to see what was happening. Instead, the possibility of being caught weighed heavier with each drawled-out second. 
"Emily," You tried but were cut off by a tongue sliding into your mouth. "Emily, stop."
With a bite to your lip, the older woman backed off, confusion marking her features, "What is it?" she punctuated her question with a hard thrust. 
"Someone's o-" another hard thrust. "Someone's outside."
Emily smiled, picking up her pace, forcing you to breathe so deep you felt your lungs expand. 
"You'd better be quiet then." 
Whatever protest you were about to give died in your throat when nails skirted up to your chest and dug painfully into your breast, and Emily pushed herself so deep within you that you felt her hitting your cervix. A strangled cry was briefly heard before you managed to clasp your hand over your lips and silence your own mewls. She was fucking you as if her life depended on getting a reaction out of you that would draw attention. Nevertheless, you held firm and stayed as quiet as your muffled sobs would allow you to be. 
"Emily, please," you were pleading for release and for the brutal fucking stop because you knew there would be no chance you could keep a lid on your volume; there would also be no chance you would survive not cumming. 
Taking note of this, the older woman took the route of giving you your release, dragging a thumb down over your clit and applying the right amount of pressure to have your tense legs turn into a shaky mess of tremors. She didn't stop there; with a brief slide, she ran your slick over your bundle of nerves and started to circle steadily. 
"Fuck!" You screamed out, missing the way the ruffling outside suddenly stopped. "I'm cumming. I'm cumming." 
"That's it," the brunette encouraged, her fingers coming up to crook and tangle through the mussed mess of your hair, nails slowly working against your scalp. "Let everyone hear what a slut you are, letting me fuck you over my desk." 
She didn't stop, though, not when your clit felt raw and your pussy tender, not when you begged and not even when you reached out and tried to grab her wrist. Emily only yanked you down by your hair, relishing the thud the brutal move made. She fucked you harder till stationary fell to the floor from your thrashing arms, and by then, her lips were already wrapped around a nipple, sucking firm whilst you cried through a second orgasm. 
When you finally felt empty, you didn't even try to open your eyes. You knew your vision would be blurred if not blacked out. Instead, you focussed on coming back down to earth, steading your breath and not thinking about how you strangely missed being filled by Emily despite being so fucking sore. 
"Are you still alive?" a smug voice asked from above, and you pried your bleary eyes open to weakly smile. 
"I think so," you whispered, peeling your sweat-slick back from the desk. That was when you remembered the unknown personnel outside and shot a look at the door. 
"They're gone," Emily said, cupping your chin and turning you back to her. Again, you were greeted by that conniving smirk. "After your commentary, I think they understood we didn't want to be disturbed." 
"But-" 
"Uh-uh." she silenced you with a finger to your lips, the smell of yourself still narrowly fragrant. You took the digit into your mouth, patting yourself on the back as you watched Emily's eyes turn dark. "You want to make Mommy feel good now, don't you?" She knew the answer, but oh, how she loved to watch you sink to your knees and eagerly nod anyway. You helped unclasp the straps of her harness, then set to pealing the last barrier keeping you from her heat down her legs. 
"My good little pet," she said, smiling down at you and happily watching you beam. Her hand cupped your jaw before moving to the back of your neck, where she pulled you to her core and began singing a melody of moans. 
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bookofthegear · 8 months
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Long, long ago, before Twitter descended into its end-stage hellscape, I ran a few iterations of a weird little choose-your-own-adventure game there, where I used the poll functions to offer options as we traversed a strange concrete labyrinth. I’d like to do that again. But as the shortest poll I can run is one day, this is more like a play-by-mail than a real-time on-the-fly. Fewer choices, but hey, you do get much longer descriptions!
The Rules
- Your choices are by majority poll (though if there are two identical options, they may be weighed together)
- If y’all choose to do something boneheaded, you WILL die, and the game will begin again with a new adventurer (who may someday find your corpse!)
- If y’all choose to retire and raise cabbages, by god, I will send you home to raise cabbages, which is sort of a happily ever after
- If you played on Twitter, please be kind and don’t spoiler too hard for the new players! Also, don’t assume the maze is still the same…
- Life being what it is, I cannot promise every update will land as soon as the poll closes—I love you guys, but y’know
Let’s begin, shall we?
You, friend, are the latest graduate of the Wentworth School Of Exploration and Adventure (Goooo Fighting Codfish!) the second-best explorer’s school in the city. You left behind your grandmother’s cabbage farm in pursuit of higher, better, possibly more fatal things.
It was at Wentworth that you first came across a reference to the works of Eland the Younger, that wandering naturalist, historian…okay, occasionally out-and-out liar…and his great fragmentary work, the Book of the Gear. It detailed his descent into a great clockwork labyrinth, filled with strange creatures and stone gears. Even for Eland, it’s a bit weird. Most scholars dismiss it outright as a fabrication, and the few professors who would talk to you about it strongly suggested that it was dangerous and you should ignore any rumors about its location and do something else. (Possibly on one of their projects! For course credit, obviously, not money.)
You didn’t listen. It was all just more academic cabbages as far as you’re concerned. It took a lot of research and guesswork and a lot of slogging, but after cutting your way through the overgrown woods, miles from any town, you find yourself standing before a stone wall with an immense crack in it. The edge of a stone gear taller than a man is just visible inside.
A small finch sits on a branch nearby, waiting.
Wentworth students are highly trained in the arts of adventuring, including Hiking, Skulking, Orienteering, and deciphering avian interpretive dance. Which brings us to the first question!
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how to be wary/alert without crossing over into fear? is the question
#a question. i guess. today i had enough energy to think about how to navigate spaces/places w/o getting dumbed down by fear#ok a certain kind of fear. like the ..disabling kind? idk. mayb this is a superficial boundary but how to keep the leash on a warranted '#'paranoia'. alertness that enables access to action and direct action and harm reduction stuff. not endless paranoia and guilt-feeding.#feel like u have to be in a very well-resourced space internally to idk have the stamina to keep up that kinda alertness/wariness#this has a lot to do with killing/unlearning the part of you that cringes at being 'out of step' or being surveilled or not wanting to step#on ppl's toes or disturb the negative peace or whatever. i feel like i could've explained this better when im not knee-deep in an episode bu#whatever lol what i am saying is im fearfullllllll im full of fear and its not the healthy kind lol it is paralyzing it keeps me from breath#ing and moving and etc etc#and also when am i gonna feel secure enough to sense that this shit is just straight up silly? and stupid? all the way through? that i find#it so disinteresting and un-arresting that i am deeply unimpressed n so able to achieve another sorta buoyancy? that lets me keep working or#being or doing the shit i want to do#cuz rn im so fatigued -- well its better i used to not be able to lift a finger without wanting to die -- that all this seems inaccessible o#or something . and ive been passing slowly thru the same old acknowledgement that maybe it isnt lol. it makes sense that this is a praxis a#way of life to orient towards rather than uhh uh the thing in my head that says that losing my grip on this means losing my grip forever and#its a permanent reflection of my worth/failure or whatever. its a one-time thing. end or be all. all or nothing. etc#lol. like relearning is a one-time bus stop. lol. sorry lol.#u know i was so angry and despairing at how i cant even rest now without guilt pervading all senses even tho i remembered i could easily#and without effort before. and a little bit rn im having the space to remember that thats an active practice helloooo thats why its an activ#practice it did not hit me immediately or at all as most things do rn but uh yeah its starting to look not-impossible. finally. i really had#to slog thru months to come to a point where this is possible again huh. exhausting#dont rb#soy talks shit
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cheeseanonioncrisps · 10 months
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Something I never hear anyone talk about in the 'why are Young Adults (late teens to early 30s) reading so much Young Adult (teens) fiction These Days' discussion is how surprisingly difficult it can be to transition from kids books to adult fiction.
And I don't mean in terms of content. Forget themes, characters, plots, etc. I'm talking pure practicality.
As a kid, most of the books you read are calibrated to you exactly. Your local library likely has a 'children's' section, and that section is likely split into smaller sub-sections based on age group. 0-5, 5-8, 8-12, teen. A lot of your interests and experiences are pretty easy to guess at based on average developmental stages (eg. most 16-18 year olds will relate to Coming Of Age stories), so it's probably pretty easy for you to walk into a bookshop or library and find a book aimed at you specifically.
But get to 18 (or younger) and start straying into the 'adult' section, and suddenly nothing is calibrated anymore. When people complain that all 'grownup fiction' is about white middle class heterosexual couples going through angsty divorces in their mid-forties, this is what they're complaining about. They can't find books they can personally relate to, or that are about topics that they are interested in.
And yeah, sure, books shouldn't have to be relatable to be good or enjoyable. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting to read a book about young people, when you're young. Or queer people, if you're queer. Or people from your particular culture, religion, or ethnicity.
Even if we ignore the relatability aspect entirely, there's also nothing wrong with wanting to read a fantasy book that isn't just 'Tolkien but drearier' or a sci-fi that wasn't written by some guy in the 1960s who thought that women were just another kind of alien.
The problem is, fundamentally, that finding the books you like amid the haystack is a skill that most people are not being taught.
As a result, when they get past YA and try using the old tricks of just picking up whatever is on the bestseller list at the moment, or whatever their local library is currently touting as their 'book of the week', they frequently end up with something that isn't suited to their tastes.
And maybe they love it and it opens up a whole new genre that they'd never considered, but more often they hate it but feel obliged to slog through because this is a 'grownup book' and they have decided they want to be a 'grownup reader'.
A few times being burned like this, and they come to the conclusion that all adult fiction is boring, and that the people who read it are all either mature geniuses of the type they could only hope to be, or slogging through like they were and only pretending to like it.
Thus they run back to the familiarity of YA—which is fine, to be clear, there's nothing actually wrong with reading YA as an adult— but there's every chance that somewhere on the bookshelves is a potential favourite author of theirs that they will now never know because they were never taught how to find them.
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nanowrimo · 6 months
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Pro Tips from a NaNo Coach: How to Write a Novel in 30 Days
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NaNoWriMo can seem like a daunting task sometimes, for NaNo newbies and veterans alike. Fortunately, our NaNo Coaches are here to help guide you through November! Today, author Adiba Jaigirdar is here to share her advice on how to set yourself up for noveling success:
Welcome to the very first week of NaNoWriMo! I’ve done NaNoWriMo for (almost) every year since 2008. I’ve won some, I’ve lost some, but I’ve learned a lot along the way. In fact, I apply a lot of the tactics I learned in NaNoWriMo to all my writing. When I wrote my second book, Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating, I ended up with a first draft of 74,000 words written in 30 days. That wasn’t something I would have thought possible in 2008 when I was slogging through my very first 50,000-word novel. That’s why I’m here today to share with you a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up through my writing journey, in the hopes that they serve you and your novel this November: 
1. Accountability 
One of the most difficult parts of writing a novel is that it requires so much self-discipline. It’s not like a job you show up to where your boss is holding you accountable for how many words you’ve written. Only you are ultimately responsible for how much you get done—which is why it’s easy to get demotivated and give up. So, you need to figure out ways in which you can be accountable for your novel this month.
You’ll be glad to hear that you’ve already taken the first step in doing this: you’ve pledged to do NaNoWriMo. You’re here, ready to write. But you can go a step further: ask your friends and family to hold you accountable by checking in on your progress during the month. If you have friends who are doing NaNoWriMo that’s even better; you can hold each other accountable. If you’re on social media, you can share updates every day and be accountable to your followers. There are a lot of ways to do it; so figure out what kind of accountability works best for you! 
2. Planning 
Planning a novel is definitely not for everyone. This is coming from someone who has pantsed many books! Planning can look different for different people. If you are a true-blue plotter, you might have your entire novel planned from beginning to end, with comprehensive chapter outlines. But if you’re not someone who plots out your entire novel before you’ve written a single word, planning is still important.
This planning can look like a rough outline of your book or finishing your writing day and jotting down a few quick ideas of what to write when you come back to writing the next day, or it can be leaving yourself voice memos as ideas spark when you’re nowhere near your novel. Going into every new day of writing without any idea of what the blank page will hold is very, very daunting, which is why planning ahead can be just the motivation that you need to fulfill your word count goal for the day. 
3. Figure out what works for you 
I have published four books so far and I’ve written many more. The process of writing each of these books has been very different. I drafted one in three months, one in 30 days, one was completely plotted with a rigorous outline, while one was plotted with a flexible outline, and two were completely pantsed. What I’ve learned about myself is that to make a book work, sometimes I have to try something different.
The only thing NaNoWriMo requires of you is to write those 50,000 words. How you go about it depends on you. You don’t have to write every single day if that doesn’t work for you. You can write at the same time every day, or a different time every day depending on what sparks your creativity. You don’t have to participate in writing sprints if writing with a countdown doesn’t help you focus. The point is that now’s your time to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. You might be surprised by what methods you swear will never work for you but ends up helping you over that finish line. 
4. Have fun!
This is easier said than done, but try to enjoy writing your novel. Especially when it feels difficult. When I wrote 74,000 words in 30 days, it felt like a breeze because I was having a lot of fun with my book. Try to remember what makes you excited about your novel and go back to that when it’s tough. If writing is what you love, find the joy of it and nurture it throughout this month. The more you enjoy it, the more likely you are to keep writing.
Adiba Jaigirdar is the award-winning, critically-acclaimed and bestselling author of The Henna Wars, Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating, A Million to One, and The Dos and Donuts of Love. A Bangladeshi/Irish writer and former teacher, she has an MA in Postcolonial Studies and a BA in English and History. She is the winner of the YA book prize 2022, the KPMG Children’s Books Ireland Awards 2021, and was a finalist for the 2022 Lambda Literary awards. When not writing, she is probably ranting about the ills of colonialism, playing video games, or expanding her overflowing lipstick collection.
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lttleghost · 1 year
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The Thematic Relevance of Jesse Pinkman as an Egg 🏳️‍⚧️
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(I wrote this analysis awhile back and wanted to make a fresh post to update it!)
While not intentional, there is a lot in Breaking Bad that supports reading Jesse as an egg. This reading of Jesse has a lot of thematic and narrative relevance and also doesn't create any conflicts with the canon material. Jesse being someone who hasn’t realized he’s not actually a man yet could quite literally be canon.
This analysis is heavily based around parallels between Jesse’s character development and what Breaking Bad thematically associates with gender. It’s also heavily interconnected with the show's overarching theme of change, and also, at least for our two main characters of Walt and Jesse, the revealing of true self. There’s plenty of evidence that each of them already had the traits we see them with at the end of Breaking Bad. Jesse being this very kind and compassionate young adult and Walt being this egotistical monster.
But I would consider Walt's self-deception to be more shallow than Jesse’s self deception. While Walt did end up in a lifestyle that was opposed to who he truly was, he consciously knew what he wanted to some extent, whereas Jesse fully convinced himself that he was a different person than the one he truly is because he never really got the chance to actually figure out much about himself. 
There are a lot of examples of Jesse’s disconnected sense of self throughout the show, but the first one that comes to mind has to do with his superhero OCs-
EDIT: YO! if you find video essays more engaging than reading a bunch of text, this analysis now also comes in video form [link]
I think that Jane’s observation that all of them looked like Jesse was, in fact, correct. I wouldn’t consider him doing this as a conscious decision but I feel that he almost admits it. After initially denying that his OCs looked like him and after Jane affectionately teases him he ends up saying to her “like you never wanted a superpower.” And while you could interpret this as just a response to her teasing, I’m convinced that there’s an additional layer to it. Especially because when Jane leaves to check the door, there's a moment where Jesse looks at the sketchbook with his drawings and it seems like he’s considering something, and I’d bet you anything that what he’s thinking about is whether or not he had actually drawn himself and this is REALLY interesting since-
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Jesse is a criminal right? And while superheroes themselves are technically criminals as well, as vigilante justice isn’t actually legal, they’re still typically known to be ‘crime fighters’, and Jesse describes his characters as being such. So with his OCs subconsciously being depictions of himself and them being superheroes (crime fighters) and his current life as a criminal, you get the image of someone who doesn’t know who he is or what he wants deep down. 
There’s no way that Jesse’s current delinquent lifestyle was his truly… preferred path. It’s much more likely it was the only thing he thought he could do successfully. It’s evidently been the one thing he’s made a decent living off of. He has no support from his parents, and doesn’t seem like he has had it since he was a highschooler. Jesse is shown to have no support outside of the drug trade. Most of his personal skills and interests are artistic or honestly domestic in a world that assigns more value to academics and he’s a highschool graduate who doesn’t have any job experience. 
I also believe Jesse is very aggressively ADHD coded, and the combination of having virtually no support, struggling with addiction, and having undiagnosed and improperly self medicated ADHD would make slogging through any “respectable” job that he has access to, or any job that his parents might encourage him to do, unbearable.
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So the drug trade was his best bet, Jesse even views cooking meth as a form of art, something that he’s passionate about.
I can’t in good faith ignore that doing something that is... generally frowned upon, didn’t factor into what Jesse chose to do on some level, as society and the structures that it’s built on failed him and there’s an inherent sense of rebellion that often forms in a person when they’re failed like that. Granted, superheroes also tend to often contain some commentary on societies failings as well. Jesse just couldn’t actually be a real-life superhero. So with the few benefits it had in practice compared to any other job, Jesse played into the rest of the role of a criminal, and convinced himself that the aspects of it that conflicted with his personality... didn’t, probably without even noticing.
Even more to this disconnect; When Jane asks “and that’s a superpower?” in response to Jesse explaining Backwardo’s powers Jesse responds with “come on, I was a kid when I drew these, it was like four years ago.” And Jesse is 24 years old in that scene, meaning that he would’ve been 20 when he drew these characters, and when I first wrote this analysis I was wondering whether or not Jesse had gotten involved with the drug trade other than buying drugs by that time, but there wasn’t really anything I could confirm any theories with. 
But now I've got the Better Call Saul episode “Waterworks” where Jesse has his second cameo, where he is in fact, 20, and in that cameo Jesse accompanying Emilio, a person we know is his partner in cooking meth, to Saul’s office makes me certain he’s in it by that point. And I just have to wonder if Jesse’s superheroes were almost a… subconscious vent, a manifestation of how being a criminal in the specific way Jesse is, is not what he wants. Something that suggests that Jesse’s actual identity and his current view of his identity don’t line up.
Another thing to point out about the cameo that could be seen as additional evidence of Jesse’s discomfort with being more than just a customer of the drug trade is that he was hanging out outside of Saul’s office, and until Kim gave him one he didn't have a cigarette, so he wasn’t out there to smoke. And while there could be other explanations to why he was outside on his own, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say, other than just his general skepticism of Saul, he was just not particularly jazzed to be where he was at that moment and not comfortable going inside.
So relating all of this to gender; that narrative of convincing yourself that you are the person that you’re supposed to be for your best chance of survival instead of being able to truly be yourself already works pretty strongly as an allegory for being trans. But to add onto that even more, thematically Breaking Bad associates “manhood” with the drug trade in one way or another, and paralleling how Jesse realizes he doesn’t fit into the drug trade like he thought he did with how he might not be a cis man like he thought he was makes for a really solid queer reading.
The whole show is pretty explicitly about toxic masculinity. Obviously in real life masculinity and manhood do not have to be toxic, and in Breaking Bad’s original intended story Jesse is a cis man who ends up not fitting into those toxic ideas of manhood. 
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Things that the rest of the male cast don’t blink at or at least have more mild reactions to, just tear Jesse apart. He’s also targeted at least a couple of times for having emotional vulnerability that is considered to be “not manly”. It’s much easier to point out the differences between him and the male cast than it is to point out similarities between them and this just gets more pronounced the longer the show goes on. He doesn’t really have any positive ties to being a man and I don’t think we can say we ever see Jesse actually reclaim his own sense of manhood. And I think that lack of reclamation gives even more legitimacy to the reading that, along with leaving the drug trade and all of its toxic masculinity bullshit behind, maybe Jesse just leaves behind being a man altogether, and maybe it was something that wasn’t really ever a true part of him, just like his life as a criminal.
Even at the start of the series Jesse’s attempts at hyper-masculinity come off as really goofy and performative. In episode one  Krazy-8 mentions that Emilio thinks that Jesse might’ve ratted on him Jesse first has a much more genuine response of “that’s bullshit” which makes sense with his strong character trait of being loyal, but then he goes to say “I should kick his punk ass for even thinking that.” and it just sounds like fake bravado to me. There’s no way Jesse actually thinks he stands a chance against Emilio since Jesse has a body type that resembles a small bird and there's no way he has that little self awareness. He's just playing out a script that wasnt even well thought through, and while some of his other performances of masculinity don’t come across as that fake, there aren’t many that feel like they actually come from Jesse himself, they just feel like something that he just thinks he should do.
And while not every experience with men Jesse has is negative, there always seems to be some distance between him and the men he does have good relationships with. Jesse forms a parent-child type relationship with Mike that is healthier than any other he’s had up to that point other than probably his aunt, but there’s a part of Jesse that Mike never seems to fully get. When Jesse doesn’t want Lydia to be killed Mike says that 'this woman deserves to die as much as any man' and I think he misses that Jesse just still isn’t that keen on killing people even with everything he’s gotten involved with. Even if there are some acts of violence and even some people’s deaths he is fine with and thinks are justified, Jesse never fully adapts to “the job” the way Mike does, and Mike is just not quite able to understand that, or at least not why.
Jesse and his friends have a distance between them as well. Though they’re arguably not as entrenched in toxic masculinity as any of the other prominent men in the show are, and aren’t nearly as involved in the violence of dealing drugs despite being in the trade. Yet still Jesse’s interactions with them most of the time feel different and more withdrawn than their interactions with each other. Like Jesse really wants their presence and company and wants to fit in but there ends up being something that he can’t connect with alongside them, and this also gets more prominent as the show progresses. There’s parts where Jesse seems to be withholding how badly his “high rank” in the drug trade is affecting him when Pete and Badger seem to sort of idolize him for it and want in on it. I think Jesse sort of considers saying something to them about it, but he hesitates and doesn’t. He repeatedly doesn’t confide in them even though, while his friends do perform some facets of hyper-masculinity, they don’t really seem to target or reject vulnerability in the way most of the other men in Breaking Bad do. And Jesse’s distance from even the more harmless side of the male cast makes it feel like it’s not just the toxic masculinity that he’s disconnected from.
Jesse’s relationships with women even further separate him from the men of the show. His romantic relationships with Jane and Andrea read much more as relationships between equals, compared to Walt and Skyler or Hank and Marie. While Jesse does throw the “nice job wearing the pants in the family” insult at Walt in episode two of the first season, after Skyler almost caught him moving Emilio’s body, in Jesse’s own relationships he never actually tries to take control and doesn’t have any problem with Jane honestly being the person making more active choices for the both of them in their relationship, which Walt comments on by throwing that same “nice job wearing the pants” insult back at Jesse.
Another interesting thing found within Jesse’s relationship with Jane that ties them to specific gender roles happens after Jane doesn’t really introduce him to her father. Jesse asks about it and after a bit this Jane ends up saying “What am I supposed to say? Hey dad, meet the stoner guy who lives next door and by the way I’m sleeping with him?” and Jesse replies “Is that all you think you’re doing?”
It’s been pretty common for “the guy” to be considered as the one who sees a relationship as just being sex and “the girl” to see it as being romantic, and this is a very very dumb aspect of traditional western gender roles that this scene even has to subvert, but I think in the context of Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender roles the fact that Jesse is put in the role much more typically associated with women could be viewed as significant. And this significance can be extended to the show’s most prominent dynamic, dealing with the relationship between abusive men and women, Jesse is a victim. I’m not implying men can’t be victims of other men's abuse, but it does make Jesse easier to associate with women in the story, and while the narrative association comes from a negative place, the negativity is directed towards men. But the connection it forms between Jesse and women is a sense of camaraderie and even comfort, at least on Jesse’s side.
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and with those connections with women I’d say the most accurate egg interpretation of Jesse is that she’s specifically transfeminine in some way.
I think in this analysis its important to specifically examine Jesse's journey with gender questioning as I think it follows the rest of the ups and downs in her learning more about herself in the resr of her character arc. My personal interpretation of Jesse is that she is a non medically transitioning nonbinary transfem person. The not medically transitioning bit is largely because I enjoy bringing attention to the existence of no-med no-op trans people and to push the point that not seeking medical transition doesnt make a person any less trans, though I do feel that since Jesse's relationship with gender is focused on the societal side of gender roles that don't really relate to physical form that it's a reasonable interpretation that she may not medically transition. I think she uses he/him and she/her pronouns, and is maybe a futch lesbian. I’m saying all of this because it'll be the lens through which I’ll be talking about Jesse’s journey with questioning his gender and how that progresses during the timeline of Breaking Bad. However I don’t claim this to be the only version of transfem Jesse that works with my analysis, or that it's necessarily better than any others that do work. I’ll also be mentioning concepts of “offscreen” additional scenes. That being said, if you’re someone who likes to stick 100% to the text given to us, the “offscreen” scenes aren’t exactly necessary for this interpretation to work as a part of the existing story as the general emotions behind them still stand.
I don’t picture Jesse as having any definable Gender (™) experiences when he was younger other than just a general sense of not belonging, though gender wouldn’t be the only thing playing into that. But as Jesse got older and struggled more, he started to purposefully play the part of what he saw as “a man” to survive in the only role that he thought he could. I see the thought “I wish I didn’t have to be a man” crossing his mind every so often though. I think he just deals with his place in the world for awhile, but after Walt enters the scene and Jesse experiences shit he really didn’t bargain for because of his old teacher, someone who is settling into a personification of toxic masculinity, Jesse’s frustration with being a man becomes more prominent and harder to ignore internally. 
In my opinion Jane is the person that helped him start to solidify what exactly those thoughts were indicating. Her approach to relationships would be considered not traditionally cishet, and so is the way she presents herself in general, so I think Jane has some sort of knowledge about the complexities of gender, if she isn't actually queer herself in some way.
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And she’s one of the only people we see Jesse truly, truly open up to and so I think at some point later in their relationship Jesse might actually say something about wishing she wasn’t a man around Jane, and I can see Jane saying that Jesse doesn't have to be a man if she doesn't want to be.
But then Jane dies, and I think as a result of that and the lesson Jesse learned from rehab “I’m the bad guy” he goes into just total repression mode. Embodying this new belief Jesse very much dips into the hyper-masculine behavior of the drug trade, he is much more concerned with money beyond paying bills and having nice things, and he plans to do the one thing in the entire show that makes me truly angry at him because of this whole thing, attempting to sell drugs to the rehab group. I don’t think he would’ve ever thought of doing something like that before. He’s trying very hard to be something that’s even further from his actual nature than we’ve seen up until this point.
Part of Jesse’s grief over losing Jane, a person who he confided in probably more than anyone else at that point, was to just completely close up, even to himself. Forget all of those parts of himself that resisted the rougher aspects of the drug trade he was getting dragged into and definitely forget about wondering if he really is a man or not.
At least until meeting Andrea and Brock, which snaps him out of that “I’m the bad guy” mindset, but by that time I think just, too much starts to happen for Jesse to have much time to question her gender. I wouldn’t consider her to be as actively repressing any sort of “I wish I wasn’t a man” thoughts but the amount of turmoil and danger that she’s in, just really really doesn’t lend itself to that sort of gender introspection as much. 
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I’ve got some additional thoughts on Jesse’s journey with gender that are more headcanons than actual analysis of the show so I didn’t include them in the text above. But I still really wanted to share because I like them and think that they really add to the analysis, so here they are;
I mentioned that I don’t think that Jesse had any particularly notable moments that might’ve suggested that she was trans when she was younger other than feeling out of place, but maybe he did have some interest in playing with “girls stuff” and her parents discouraged it because as we know they’re the shitty type of people who value their child being “normal” at the price of that child’s happiness, but I can also see her being one of those kids who just didn’t even grasp the differences between boys and girls stuff for a longer time than others, or I can even see Jesse’s last connection to the "male" side of gender being from when she was a little boy, before he was aware of the concept of what being a man was, and that it would be expected of her.
But later, in his adulthood, after the idea and pressures of "manhood" became very present in his life, one of the more certain instances of gender questioning I picture Jesse having is at some point while hanging out with Badger, Pete and Combo, Jesse screws around and puts on a dress. And he's like “haha I look like such a queer don’t I?” but is internally thinking something more along the lines of “ I will die before I tell anyone how this makes me feel” (that being that it makes him feel happy). 
And then, as we enter into the timeline of the show itself; when Jane first tells Jesse that he doesn’t have to be a man if he doesn’t want to, I don’t actually think that Jesse would be receptive of it at first. I think it’s more likely that he’d decide he suddenly doesn’t want to have this discussion anymore and change the subject. Jesse would still have the misconception that you need to medically transition or at least be required to fit some sort of ‘criteria’ to be trans, instead of just identifying as a different gender than your assigned sex, and I think that would play some role in his not wanting to talk about possibly being trans. And even more because, while he could opt out of telling anyone that he’s trans, Jesse’s in a world in general that isn’t trans-friendly, but the drug trade he’s in specifically is very lgbtq-phobic. Jesse himself is definitely gonna have some internalized transphobia, we’ve seen his homophobia, and I definitely read that as a result of his environment rather than actual hatred considering at Jesse’s true core he’s a pretty caring person. But there are definitely people in the drug trade who would be violently homophobic and transphobic, and Jesse would know that, and would probably perceive even realizing that he is trans to be a threat to his safety. But, later on, further into her relationship with Jane I think she’d open up, even if only to Jane.
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And that’s what I like to focus on the most with this analysis, all of the happiness and freedom and healing that Jesse gets to feel detaching himself from manhood, something that honestly contributed so much to every part of his suffering. And god does this girl deserve some happiness.
Then when for the most part too much is going on for Jesse to consider whether or not he’s trans, I still sometimes think of a situation where Jesse might’ve suggested? Her gender questioning to Mike, and while I don’t think Mike’s personal reaction would be technically negative, I think he’d tell Jesse to ‘please not share that with anyone else kid’. Which would be discouraging to Jesse, and she’d quickly backtrack, some because of the reaction on its own but also because he really already knows that it’d be stupid to say anything to anyone else, but it’s not until Jesse’s really free from the drug trade that she can finally crack that egg. I really like to think about the comfort and relief Jesse would get to feel no longer having to try and be a man, cause she finally realizes that she isn’t one.
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rosielav · 1 year
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Rosie's Favorite (currently finished/caught up) Podcasts:
The Amelia Project - silly, quirky, morbid but almost always more jaunty and eccentric than completely dark. Great for anyone who loves 'narrator' or interview type podcasts. If I'm not mistaken, I've posted some of my thoughts on here using the pod's hashtag.
The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbitity, and Mortality - another narrator type podcast, and probably my favorite of all time. The main voice you hear is perfect imo and keeps you engaged in all the right ways, bringing tension where it's needed, and levity where it's funny or odd. Absolutely consumed this podcast with a voraciousness I haven't felt for a bit. Keeps you guessing and always wanting more from every exhibit.
Victoriocity - excellent voice acting, interesting and unique premise and setting, and great plot. One of the podcasts I'm most looking forward to returning :) think steam punk but also it's the 1800s still in weird ways. If you love an old timey British accent, you'll love this haha.
The White Vault - probably my favorite specifically horror podcast, that makes you wait for answers in a craving sort of way, a longing to know what's going on, and not slogging through a bunch of filler to then get answers. It's great, gorey, geographically diverse fun. Interesting mashups of various cultures re: mythology, history, religion(?). Another on my list to watch out for the return of.
Midnight Burger: the quick pitch is - a time traveling diner that always services people in need, no matter what time, space, or dimension they may reside in. Excellent cast of characters, great development, wonderful implementation of a new character(s), and in general a very comfortable vibe to return to (speaking of, once I run out of recommendations I may relisten to this one). Highly recommend if you like sitcoms with time travel splashed with a bit of horror.
Edit: just finished up another one, so time to add it to the list!!
Monstrous Agonies: A radio show advice segment, about, by, and for the Creature Community. If you like WTNV, but find it a bit intense sometimes, or a bit too plot heavy/etc, you'll absolutely love this. Instead of the whole show, you just get the advice segment, but oh ho ho, is it so much more than that. If you're queer, BIMPOC, from a blended/mixed/broken/anything but 'typical' home... I think you'll like it. Very much what I would call 'easy listening', meaning you can just ease into an episode without having to remember a huge cast of characters, a plots b plots C plots meta plots... And it just feels *real*, in that strange and beautiful way WTNV does, but instead of a fictional town, the setting is the real world, with real problems, and real solutions. Sometimes you really do just need to howl or cry or chew on some slippers and that's OK. Highly recommend for ADHD havers or anyone with a short attention span who loves a soothing voice.
Edit: Another absolute banger to add to the list
Wooden Overcoats - how do I even properly describe the experience of this podcast. Let's start with the basics: It's the story of twins who run a funeral parlor on a small island, in a small village. Their family has been running said parlor for hundreds of years, as the only funeral directors on the island. Until one day... They aren't. A man arrives and sets up his own funeral parlor directly across the square, and boy, do things change for those twins. If you've listened to (and loved) Victoriocity, or The Amelia Project, I guarantee you'll enjoy this one. Strange, silly, and interesting things are always happening, except this one doesn't have quite as much drama (well...... Perhaps a different kind of drama. I'd call this an interpersonal dramedy, with emphasis on the comedy). An incredible listen, through and through. I thoroughly enjoyed every single episode, and the ending was quite safisfying :)
Another EXCELLENT addition to this ever increasing list of content!!! I'm not even finished with this one, I just love it so much that I can't help but add it to the list:
Mission Rejected - you know in those spy movies, where the spy gets a secret message from HQ and they say 'your mission, if you choose to accept it...' ok great. Now imagine if 007 said 'no'. This is the story about the backups, the team that takes the missions rejected by the Top Spy Guy. It's got diverse voice acting (in many senses of the word - you can tell the voices apart, it's not exclusively straight cis white dudes, etc etc), wonderful worldbuilding, great pacing, an excellent plot, I really could go on and on. I highly recommend this specific podcast to anyone who wants something light to get deeply invested in, that has a lot of comedy but also develops the characters outside of just their bits. 100/10 no notes
Edit: not sure which podcast/podcast enthusiast rb'ed this yesterday but I'm so glad more folks get to see this list!!! It makes me so happy that lots of folks enjoy this list, a d share their fave ones, and!!!! Aaaggghhhhhhhhh!!! I love podcasts and podcast enthusiasts!!!!!
Also I have another one for yall :3 if you're looking for another improv comedy to add to your list!!!
Hey Riddle Riddle - exactly what you think it is, but also so much more. Three friends/coworkers who also happen to be sensational improv comedians solve riddles and puzzles together, while also introducing bits and skits and reoccurring segments, so it never feels like 'just a Riddle podcast' (whatever that means). I have laughed every single episode, which is a big deal for me (some comedy podcasts only make me laugh every few episodes, and I require at LEAST one laugh per episode). I can genuinely say this is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever listened to, and the absolute best improv I've ever heard. I'm all for committing to the bit, and this one absolutely delivers on both the commitment part and the bit part haha. Seriously can't recommend this one enough if you maybe listen to a lot of drama/horror and need something easy to listen to (easy meaning there's not a plot you have to be intensely listening for, you can just enjoy it casually). 1000/10, please listen and also tell me YOUR favorite riddles :)
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oh my good lookin boy 🧿
masterlist
warnings: this is probably my most fluffiest and saddest writes, insecurity, mentions of ed kind of, cursing, angst.
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i had been slogging through work the entire day on my computer. emails, and phone calls, and emails. it wasn’t horribly miserable, cause my boyfriend was over on the bed streaming.
as much as i sound like a shitty girlfriend, i really don’t pay attention much to him while he streams. i was in the middle of responding to an email, when a sudden dono caught my attention in one of the worst ways.
“why bro built like that?”
not just myself, but i’m pretty sure almost anyone watching the stream was taken back by the sudden shit message. i could hear my boyfriends tone immediately change, even when he tried to mask it as he hated getting emotional anywhere, but especially on the internet live.
“like what? like uh what’s the uhm, what’s the problem?”
at that moment, my heart honestly was hurting so badly. if we hadn’t been so huge in privacy, i would’ve gone up to him in a heartbeat. i knew i couldn’t but hearing him, one of the most genuinely sweet people in all of existence, asking what was the issue that this asshole had with him, made me feel horrible.
the stream ended about an hour or maybe two later, i almost in a millisecond went up to alex slowly creeping to the side of his chair. i put my hand behind his head, playing with the hair his beanie hadn’t covered up. his eyes closed a little leaning into my hand, taking it and kissing it lightly before putting it back into his healthy head of hair.. which i’m honestly jealous of.
“need something?”
he murmured quietly still trying to edit, but was too in love with my touch.
“nah, just wanted to uh, spend a little time with you.”
he definitely wasn’t going to refuse the offer. i was too scared to bring up the comment, hoping he forgot about it. he smiled softly as i sat in his chair almost on his lap, putting my head on his shoulder as i was observing him.
“did i ever tell you how handsome you are?”
i see him laugh a little, his face flushing the tiniest amount as he runs his hand up and down my arm gently. he kisses the side of my head, whispering
“your sweet.”
two days pass as alex is getting changed, he is going to stream with his qsmp friends, which they have been planning for a while. he puts on his shirt, tilting his head in the mirror as he tries to pull the sleeves down and cover more of himself.
i immediately knew this behavior, feeling myself get sad seeing him so insecure. he sighs, putting on his sweater, coming out the bathroom. he walks around the room in an attempt to find his phone, when i speak up.
“absolutely not.”
he looks at me confused, breaking a little smile as his eyebrows furrow, a laugh coming out from him as he speaks.
“absolutely not, what?”
i raise my eyebrows, almost pointing to his sweater with my eyes. is this kid dumb? he picks up the message still confused. i then speak to him a little bit gentler.
“babe, my love, honey, the love of my life. it’s fucking 89 degrees outside, and your wearing a sweater? absolutely not.”
he rolls his eyes with a little smirk on his face. he goes onto the bed sitting next to me.
“mi amor, we’re going to be inside literally the whole time, i mean we might go out for food, but that’s it.”
i then turn over facing him completely with my body, accidentally frowning a little bit. he immediately notices the little sad expression on my face.
“did the sweater thing upset you that much? cause didn’t kno-“
i stop him before he can finish his sentence, shushing him. he gets the memo, a little laugh escaping his mouth before he conceals it. i then ask him, as nicely as i could.
“you okay?”
he’s a little surprised by the sudden ask if he was alright. he nods, his expression still completely curious.
“yeahhh?.. why?”
i didn’t want to tell him yet, i was scared he would get defensive or something, even though i know he wouldn’t but the thought lingers in my mind.
“just checking.”
he smiles softly, kissing me gently but sweetly as his hand goes to the side of my neck, his thumb caressing the side. i then pull away,
“your gonna be late.”
his eyes widen and he looks at the time on his phone.
“SHIT SHIT SHIT!”
he goes to grab his shoes, almost falling on his face. he picks them up, including his beanie before rushing out. two seconds later he comes back in, still running but slows down as he comes to my bed. he leans down kissing my lips in a peck.
“love you.”
he then rushes out, once again as i snicker a little bit to myself. but behind that laugh, was anxiety for what really was going on with him.
the next day tina and me were on the phone as i was standing in the kitchen, she’s literally my best friend i swear. alex was currently in the shower, as i laughed to her words about everything going on with her.
“oh by the way, how was the stream? i was busy with work and shit so i didn’t have time to watch it.”
i ask her, while leaning my arms down on the counter.
“oh it was gooodd. usual stream, we all went out to lunch after, we’ll us except for your boyfriend. he got bored of us i guess.”
tina mumbles jokingly. i then thought to myself a little bit and realized, quackity said he ate there… why would he lie about that?
he comes out of the shower later, where he sneaks up behind me putting his arm around my waist, while his his face rests near my neck. i sigh to myself, him siting up his head a little.
“everything good baby?”
i then lead him to the couch, looking at him directly as i take his hand. i try to calm myself before i say anything.
“when is the last time you ate?”
he turns to me, he knows he’s been caught but he just covers it with a slight laugh, a fake laugh.
“baby, i ate with the group remember? and uh todayyy.. i don’t really eat in the mornings, you know that.”
i believed the second part, but i knew he didn’t eat with our friends. i sigh looking at him, us now having intense eye contact.
“alexis. don’t lie to me.”
he bites his lip a little looking at his phone, his voice starts cracking a little bit, as he tries his absolute best to talk.
“i… fuck- i just.. i don’t know why, but lately don’t like the way my body looks.. i’m around guys like fucking foolish, who are tall and masculine and just..are better than me.. i mean i’ve been insecure in like high-school, and it just came back.”
i look at him with a look of pure absolute sadness and love for him. i can’t believe that an amazing guy like him, would ever think such stupid things about himself.
i grasp him into my arms, while his arms go around me. i kiss his head, and i hear him sniffling a little bit, i wasn’t going to say anything because i knew then he would hide his emotions again.
my hands go to the sides of his face as i lean him up, i talk to him the sweetest i can trying to be soft spoken.
“baby..you are truly the most handsome guy in the world..i don’t want a 6’3 guy who has a fucking 8 pack or whatever… i made a commitment to you, because i love you for who you are..not what you think you should be..”
he closed his eyes a little bit, his shaky breaths going into my neck. i feel little tears but i of course just keep quiet.
“i love you, i’m so fucking..i’m so sorry..”
he whispers very sheepishly, his voice a little raspy and gentle.
“you have no reason to be sorry, and i love so much, honestly too much alex..”
i say as a laugh stays in my throat, he breathes out a little bit of relief, as he traces my arm. after we were calmed, he holds my face.
“maybe we could do a cooking stream..like old times..”
i smile brightly at the idea kissing him gently. i lean away slighting, mumbling as my eyes look up to his.
“that sounds like a great plan”
hiiii! this took a lot longer than i thought it would so my dearest apologizes. also sorry for two angry writes in a row, i have one planned and i swear it’s pure fluff. love you guys! also remember you are amazing for who you are, and all bodies are beautiful.
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welcometololaland · 2 months
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don't mean to get all sunday scaries on us, but does anyone else struggle with their self-worth getting too tied up in fic? someone mentioned this to me last night, and I was like hey...it's also me?
like i do feel a bit worthless when I'm not writing as much as I want to be, or I'm not writing fast enough, or it's not as good as I expect for myself, or even if im not as obsessed with my idea as much as I'd like to be and writing is a bit of a slog. but then also feeling shit about myself if im not quick enough beta reading or haven't made it as far through my tbr as I'd like to, or feeling like people don't want to interact with me as much bc I'm not...doing enough?
100% recognise this is a ME problem, it all comes from within. but we keep it (painfully) real here in lolaland and im curious to know if anyone else experiences these kinds of things.
it's spiral time, cowboys (gender neutral) 🌀🌀🌀
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demonslayedher · 3 months
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The Taisho Secret canon content regarding The Legend of Zenitsu has unfortunately made me have to give up beloved concepts in this future!Zennezu headcanon post. Most specifically, Old Man Zenitsu's with a mustache, because Word of Gotouge says he never grews facial hair. Zenitsu is probably far more disappointed than I am about this.
But also, it has all given me a much deeper headcanon about "The Legend of Zenitsu" being a bonding experience in their marriage, for Nezuko is a big fan, like so, what with Nezuko being a willing model for Zenitsu's praise-worthy paintings.
And is my brain spinning headcanons again? Yeah.
--
Zenitsu wished he could rub it in Tanjiro's face that he got a book deal. Not on everything, just on "The Demon Slaying Arc ~Fated Encounters~," "The Heavenly Maiden Arc ~I Am Willing To Die For You~," and "The Life of the Man Who Loved The Spirit of the Plum Tree Arc." No one else deserved to know "The Tastiness of Nezuko-chan's Cooking" anyway, for Zenitsu had described it too well and it would be like sharing his wife with a bunch of slimy readers. Bad enough that he still had to share with Inosuke all the time.
But Tanjiro didn't rub it in. He smiled and made as kind a sound as even, and congratulated him.
Maybe Tanjiro had grown too mild to say or feel anything more than that.
Because Zenitsu had a publisher and small fan base, he got paid a small advance to keep writing. Not even to stop going to an office job in town, if he wanted to to keep spoiling Nezuko with nice things. The stroke to eager made him write "The Beautiful Swordswoman Nezuko Arc" in one night, but "The Golden Dragon Wandering Alone Arc ~Go And Rescue Nezuko!~" was one he slogged through. It was getting to be a handful, going to work and raising a kid living up to expectations now that people had them of him. It felt good at first, but it made the writing less fun.
His heart was hardly in it when he wrote the "Botamochi from Zenitsu Arc." The sales tanked, and Zenitsu's publisher didn't bother him when he said aside his pen for a while. It was a long while, and there were other things going on anyway.
Not long after Tanjiro died, Nezuko caught a flu that was going around. It honestly made Zenitsu a little glad to have an excuse to leave his kid with Aoi for a while so that he could have Nezuko to himself while she was contagious. He didn't need anyone's help to take care of him, because every cell down to his soul cared only about how he might pamper and comfort her.
"Nezuko-chan, come on and drink a little. It'll make your throat feel better."
"I can't. I don't want to," she moaned. Tears escaped her hopeless eyes. She still must have felt so gutted, and Zenitsu knew he could do little to fill her for the time being. Some of that hopeless look must had been from thinking she'd never be free of the headache, but at least that much he might be able to soothe.
"Why don't you rest your head on my lap for a change? Here, I'll stroke your forehead for you."
"You should sleep."
"I can do it in my sleep," he smiled to her. "Actually, did you know that the legendary hero Agatsuma Zenitsu can be even more powerful when he sleeps?"
At this, she gave him a weak smile. The first he'd seen lately. "Yes."
"It's true! It's because he can hear the sound of his wife at his side. It powers him up like lightning coming right out of his empty eye-sockets! Actually, there was one time when he blinded his enemy before the roaring sound of his power knocked him over."
"Or the sound of his snoring."
"No, no, it's thunder like it shoots right out of him! You see, it all started one night in a terrible, creepy forest, when he saw a helpless man swooped backwards into the tree tops..."
When Nezuko recovered, Zenitsu picked up his pen again, and published "Rumble of the Knock-Out Secret Swordsmanship of Zenitsu Arc ~The Legendary Man’s Eyes Shine With Light~" not long afterward. It sold decently, and it was nice to hear that he had some fans who were excited about it.
Life fell back into a new busy normal, and Zenitsu's muse was fickle. "The Potato Feudal Lord Arc" was just a passing thing for fun, not something he'd ever tell his publisher about. It was more fun for a while to try out other things, like painting. As long as Nezuko was his model, Zenitsu found he had a knack for it. He ran into Yushiro one time though, who told him he was a hack, and they got into a big argument that ended with Zenitsu throwing all his brushes and unused canvases at him and daring him to do better. Those had all cost a lot of money, so Nezuko was not happy about that. Likewise, she wasn't happy when Zenitsu refused to sell a painting of her and tore his pants while throwing a fit.
By the looks of Nezuko's ledgers, it looked like Zenitsu was stuck at that desk job, selling electricity around the little mountain foothill town. He had been there so long that he got promoted for being good at sitting in the same chair for years, and that meant moving closer to a bigger town, closer to the growing metropolis, where Zenitsu felt right at home and Nezuko assured him she would adjust.
What would Tanjiro think, now that nobody bought charcoal anymore?
The world that once had demons seemed further and further away and the droll of adulthood stretched on, and powers he couldn't behead with a swift Thunderclap and Flash fought amongst themselves. More and more, there were expectations of Zenitsu, and people depending on him. He had to assure people they would still have light and heat even as Tokyo burned, and the sound of planes rattled his ears almost daily. He was a man of his community now, and the only one his family could depend on. At Nezuko's insistence, they collected nearly-blind Kanao and his nephews and niece, and he tried to insist to Inosuke to stay with them in town where there were bomb shelters, but Inosuke, just as responsible for his own family, felt he kept them safest going deeper and deeper in to the mountains.
Nezuko knew nothing but worries. Sometimes, he almost wished she could be back to a childlike state of mind, protected from all the pain and horrors she so unfairly had to endure. In the darkness of a bomb shelter, he hugged her close as she trembled. "Say, Nezuko-chan. Do you remember that time..."
"What?"
"...that time the great hero Agatsuma Zenitsu was a teeny-tiny, but very, very strong mouse?"
He could hear her worries lift, however slightly. Maybe that was all a mouse could do.
"Actually, it was when he was a little boy. You'd never guess it, but he was very cowardly. That was a terrible warlock with a fancy red mark around his eye painted him with a magic white makeup that turned him into a mouse!"
She stifled a snort against his chest. "Uzui-san..."
"Yeah, that was the warlock's name! Did I already tell you this story before?"
"A mouse?" his son clung tighter to him, sometime he hadn't done in years. Even when he was little he always clung to Nezuko instead anyway. Zenitsu could tell by the tone of his son's voice that he was already teary-eyed and sniffly.
"Yeah. A little mouse who thought he had no power at all. That the world was too big for him. But as it turns out..."
What really hurt was Nezuko's reaction. She sighed with disappointment, and lamented that this was why he spent so many long hours away from home.
That was a story Zenitsu recorded later, as a memory of those times. It stayed on his bookcase at home next to the Potato Lord story, now that the world was quiet again.
Business picked up really well. The world got brighter, and so did the indoor lighting. As a general sense of optimism filled the world again, the small but dedicated base of "Legend of Zenitsu" fans called for a new installment. He responded well to praise, and soon gave them "The Dragon Palace Arc ~Eternal Nezuko~," but being so busy as a highly promoted seat-warmer at the office meant he had things he had to do while sitting in that seat. He put on weight again, and spent a lot of sad, long evenings stuffing cookies in his face while streaming with tears that he couldn't be eating one of Nezuko's homecooked meals instead. "Sitting In A Happy Circle and Boiling Tea in Our Bellybuttons Arc" was something he secretly wrote at his desk as a form of silent protest. His publisher rejected that one after reading only one page.
Of course! He had to be at home to write his best work! He had to be in the same space as his muse, Nezuko! Another quickly written revenge work of his, "The Future Holds Zenitsu Arc," was considered one of his better ones.
After that, he was satisfied with writing for a while, and he muse pushed him to start playing (perfectly) the piano. Nezuko was not thrilled about the piano he bought.
If only he had taught it to Nezuko, then. Her joints all bothered her, but she kept sewing out of willpower.
This new hobby inspired another novel, and Nezuko inspired another novel after that of course, and the stress of their son getting married and wanting a lavish wedding inspired another novel and another novel after that was a desperate attempt to strike it big and get out of the debt that wedding cost them. After all, Zenitsu's daughter-in-law was a cutie and he wanted to spoil her. It made Zenitsu remember how cute Nezuko was when they were newlyweds, and before that too, of course, and now too, and before he knew it he had written yet another novel, despite his dwindling fan base. Nezuko sure liked that one, though, and that was all that mattered.
The years went by. Zenitsu felt he lost his mind over how his granddaughter got cuter every time he saw her, and he eventually reached some arbitrary age when his company could only promote him to retired. Aside from the aches in his legs, he felt as young as he always did, though. Kanao said it was probably the effects of Breath technique. It sustained them without reaching a threshold at which it would be dangerous to them.
Zenitsu still wrote sometimes. He stayed busier when his busy-body grandson read the old unpublished "The Birth of Zenitsu Arc" and insisted on learning Thunder Breath. That was like a new job Zenitsu never asked for, especially since he still only knew one of the original six forms, but Kiriya sent him a letter askeing him to give it a shot, for who knew what the future held. Certainly not demons, Zenitsu was assured of that much. If Yushiro gave his novels a bad review one more time, he'd make sure of there were no more demons left in the world.
He got back in touch with Inosuke. He thought it might never happen after he abandoned the old house and charcoal mill, but the whole time, Inosuke had been on the mountain next to it, where he had always been King of the Mountain. He still took care of the house, he said. But a King still had to be King. They weren't the only people on the mountain, though. Aoi paid house calls. Still, Zenitsu gave Inosuke a stern lecture about making Nezuko (as well as Kanao) worry, so Aoi made sure to drag Inosuke into the bigger and bigger city sometimes.
Zenitsu's newest hobby to drop money on was photography, but now that he was a pensioner, Nezuko did not mind so much. She even agreed to let him fulfill his dream of taking her to Paris. He was glad he had that camera, to prove how the city could not outshine her.
He was glad he took her when he did. Her joints made it harder and harder for her to get around, even though she always smiled and insisted Zenitsu's legs must hurt more. He didn't like it when she laughed and joked around about chopping her legs off to grow new ones.
"Grandpa," his youngest granddaughter looked to him with a tearful face, "Grandma was saying something about being a demon again. I wish she'd stop that."
"I know, right!? She's a princess, and the very spirit of a plum blossom tree! A shrine maiden too!"
"There's no way someone like Grandma would ever go to hell."
He paused, and his stomach sank.
Nezuko gave up her sewing. She spent more and more time in bed, but with no desk job to sit at and a grandson taught enough that he could be told to go off and practice on his own, Zenitsu spent his days writing again. He took a long time on that novel he wrote for her, putting in all the sorts of parts he knew she liked. Sometimes he couldn't help himself and reads parts aloud to her without telling her everything else that already happened in the story. She smiled and enjoyed each fragment anyway.
"I've finally got the title for this one!" he announced. "It's called, 'I Will Be In Love With You A Thousand Years Arc.' Perfect, huh? Well, maybe it's still missing something. A million years, maybe?"
"Zenitsu-san... tell me a story..."
"I am! I'm telling you the greatest story yet! It's about this immortal princess who..."
"Tell me a real story..."
He paused and listened to her heartbeat as she took a breath--a simple, unpracticed breath in tired human lungs. Nezuko still made the same warm sound that she always did. It had a different resonance when she was a demon, and when he carried another life inside her, but it was always uniquely her.
"I want to hear... about the time you spent with my brother."
"Tanjiro? Yeah, he... hasn't been in these for a long time. Maybe I'll bring him back."
"You cared so much about him," she smiled from her futon. "That was why you protected my box, before you even met me."
"He... yeah."
"I'm glad you were such good friends... I want to hear about all those good things that happened to you. About your Ojiisan, and your little bird..."
"Yeah," he grimaced to a smile, and the inside of his nose zapped like a storm was brewing. "I had a lot of good things happen to me. A lot of bad things too."
"It's up to you to decide if you're happy or not. I hope... you'll decide you were happy."
"Yeah," he said, the snot already flowing. "The happiest. I'll tell you all about it. I'll make it my best story ever."
"You promise...?"
He kissed her forehead. "I'd never be able to come up with anything better than the truth."
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pjisskullourful · 4 months
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𝑴𝒚 𝑫𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚
🗝️Måneskin × reader
NSFW🔥 absolutely filthy, 5 horny bastards in a bed
° Thomas Raggi/Ethan Torchio/Victoria De Angelis/Damiano David/female reader insert
° long-distance relationships are hard, but your partners are back in town & whisking you away for a secluded reunion [based october 2022]
wordcount:: 10,583
° commissioned by my sister beth(@bethanysnow)💋 merry christmas queeeeeeeeen [commissions get priority-there are 3 fics in cue, secure your own spot right here]
° lyrics stolen from björk
° [ITA:] amore: love - cazzo: fuck - caffè: coffee
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It was a long overdue reunion. You should have been bursting with excitement - that was how it typically went when you got to see your partners after any length of time apart.
But you weren’t feeling very good, just as it had been for the majority of the time that they had been out of the country. While the four of them were busy with touring and working in recording studios, you had been facing down one essay after another. College had been feeling like a hard slog, neverending assignments with very intimidating minimum word counts. Your job ate into most of your downtime, keeping you from getting to plan anything fun.
Your life was seemingly only about your responsibilities and commitments. You were always either in the middle of some important task, or hyping yourself up to start a new one. There was no time for self-care or other things that could help bring the stress down.
With every day passing in a busy blur, it was easy for rotten moods to rise up. The kind of bad mood that couldn’t be alleviated by a Facetime call with any of your partners when they had a spare minute in their schedules. You were left feeling far from your best, a lingering dark cloud that affected so much of your current experience.
It wasn’t that you weren’t happy to be in the same city as Victoria, Ethan, Thomas and Damiano again, but it had potentially been too long. The distance had been felt even more this time around, making you feel separated by more than just miles, you were so out of sync with them. It had been too long of you stewing in negativity, no backup to help you cut through all the bullshit in your own head.
You felt a sense of pressure at having to be in a great mood for them, even though you knew there was no magical switch for improvement inside of yourself. You had to make the most of your time with them, it was only going to be a brief visit, feeling down wasn’t going to help you enjoy every second.
You had been pleased when a call with Damiano had given you the insight that their plan was just for a private couple of days in a nice hotel. You didn’t have to stress about finding the perfect thing to wear to a restaurant in case your partners were recognised, opening you up to the criticisms of strangers as had happened in the past. It would just be the five of you and that felt like the ideal fit to you right now.
Ethan drove to your apartment to pick you up. Because you weren’t allowed to drive yourself, or even organise an Uber. All four of them loved surprising you, from small gestures to larger experiences. And so it had been decided that your destination would be kept a secret. You were to just get in the car and trust Ethan.
And you did trust him, you had always trusted him. That was how your relationship had evolved from just the two of you, to include his three friends with benefits. You didn’t imagine it working as well with anyone else - certainly none of the relationships that had preceded him. The trust that had naturally developed between the two of you had made you comfortable enough to admit you felt more than a sexual attraction to the other members of Måneskin. For the past six months you had all been exploring your connections and the incredible potential of this unconventional setup. Ethan trusted your honesty and you trusted he would tell you if he stopped enjoying it, wanting to be an exclusive pair, as you had been in the beginning.
After a while, you stopped trying to guess at where he was whisking you off to - you just let the familiar sights of Rome fall behind you. You got especially distracted from the road when he asked you how work had been. It felt like a wave, far more powerful than you had expected, so many words coming out. You didn’t have to pause and consider your sentences, seemingly they had been ready to be shared.
The concerned furrow in his brow had grown more pronounced the longer that you talked. When he spoke, it was a very sober tone. “I had no idea it was this bad.”
“It sounds way worse when I say it all at once like that. But in reality, it’s just a lot of little things.” You said, instantly regretting the worry you had prompted in him - this wasn’t how your time together was supposed to go.
“But they add up- all those little things.” He said.
You paused, taking note of the subtle changes in his expression, you knew how to read him. You began smiling. “Did you just quote One Direction at me?”
His cheeks gave a slight twitch, he was amused with himself. “I sure did.”
You began laughing, as you did so you felt yourself releasing some of the tension that had been built up. It was like you were unclenching your fists for the first time. He laughed too, it was a sight that you savoured, he was cute enough that you could forget about your issues.
But he didn’t. And he was back to pensive very quickly - it was a switch Victoria would label as ‘typical Ethan’, she had seen it so many times that it no longer surprised her.
“I wish you had told me sooner.” He said, all the way back to serious.
“It’s not like I was purposefully trying to keep it secret from you, amore.” You said, reaching your hand out to rest on his thigh as you studied the side of his face. “But when you call, I don’t want to spend the whole time just complaining, that’s not very fun for you. And I know you’ve got great things you wanna tell me about and I want to hear about your adventures.
“It’s not fair of me to unload so much garbage on you when you’re too far away to give me tangible help. You’re my solutions guy, I know how you take stuff on like it’s all your responsibility and you beat yourself up when you can’t fix everything for everyone. I don’t want you to do that here.
“It’s just a little rough patch at work, it will be over and seemingly insignificant soon.” You said, trying to convince him as much as yourself.
“I want you to tell me all your stuff.” His tone made it an earnest request, nothing like the commands he could make your heart race with.
“You’re right, and I would feel the same if the roles were reversed.” You said.
But you didn’t add anymore venting - you didn’t want to launch into a tangent about the way college was a consistent time and energy thief. He wanted to be kept in the loop about what was going on in your life, but how much could he truly listen to? Realistically, everyone had a limit and when would he get sick of hearing it? You didn’t want to find out, so you went quiet and let Björk’s singing fill this uneasy silence.
‘Calm, calm down, you’re exhausted- come lie down…’ The serene music floated through the cab of the car, offering some comfort.
He brought the car to a stop at the next red light, taking one of his hands off the wheel. He picked up your hand from resting on his leg, looking at you with those eyes that seemed to see more than anyone else. He lifted your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it and you gave his fingers a squeeze.
‘You know that I adore you, you know that I love you…’
You didn’t recognise anything beyond the windows. You were completely out of the city, seeing more trees and less tall buildings.
He drove along a quaint main road, pulling into the parking lot next to a modest hotel. Not recognising the name on the sign, you assumed this was an independent hotel. It was nothing like those hotels that the touring company could afford to put the four of them in. It wasn’t a skyscraper that bore the logo of any franchise. It was low-key, another invitation for you to stop stressing.
He took your hand in his as you walked for the lobby entrance. “Everyone can’t wait to see you.”
You couldn’t think of anything to say, you just hoped that you wouldn’t let them down.
Victoria didn’t wait until you were across the threshold of the suite to grab you. Her greeting was as enthusiastic as what you had come to expect from her. If you were a lighter woman, her full-force collision into you could have knocked you off your feet. But your centre of gravity wasn’t disrupted and you just wrapped your arms around your chipper girlfriend.
You saw the delight lighting up her eyes for only a second. Then she was too close, claiming your lips with a kiss. The scent of her perfume filled your nostrils and she cupped your face in her hands, taking full advantage of this reclaimed proximity.
That sense of pressure and worry went away, because you knew how to kiss her. You let your lips part, deepening the kiss as you concentrated on this moment.
“Alright, let’s actually get her in the room before you get too carried away in the hall, you fuckin’ freak.” Thomas said and you felt extra hands on you, gently guiding you forward.
She sucked on your lower lip before letting the kiss end. “What, did you really expect me to wait? I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.”
“What makes you think you’re the only one?” Thomas asked and his hand slid into yours as you walked further into the room. He turned to stand in front of you, his eyes taking in the features of your face. “Hi, amore…”
“Hey.” You said, easing in to meet him in the middle.
He kissed you softly, then paused so he could look at you. Another kiss came, lingering a little longer, allowing you to feel the moisture on his mouth. Then a silent break passed and you felt so disarmed by those hazel eyes. He took his time to recommit your face to memory in between his unhurried kisses, not wanting to miss a single detail, like always. You blushed under his thorough gaze and the look on his face made you want to kiss him more.
“Okay, let’s all line up for our turn to kiss her.” Damiano joked.
Thomas took the hint, wrapping up one last tender kiss before beginning to move aside. You licked your lips and kept your fingers curled around his for a moment longer as Damiano stepped into the available space in front of you.
He wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing you in closer. His hand went beneath your chin, easing your head back so you would look at him. “I missed you, sweetheart.”
You didn’t have time to respond, his lips crashed against yours so fast. You put your hands on his shoulders as you kissed him back, feeling the beginnings of that intensity he could tap into at the drop of a hat. His tongue teased against the seam of your lips.
Then he moved his focus to just your bottom lip, kissing you here - a spot that would certainly see some swelling before this visit was through. His lips moved lower, giving you a chance to somewhat catch your breath as he kissed across your chin.
“Missed you too.” You said as his trail of kisses led him onto your neck. “I missed all of you.”
“I missed all of you.” He said with his own emphasis. He paused, pretending as if he had only just realised his error. “Oh, you meant the four of us. Well, I meant that I missed every bit of my beautiful girlfriend.” His compliments had more impact when he was directly in front of you. “I missed the feel of these arms. And your hands.” He linked his fingers with yours before applying a quick kiss to your lips. “It should be obvious beyond words that I missed these lips.
“But do you know where I really missed?” He asked, his arms still very tight around you. He extended his index finger, touching it to the side of your throat. Your smile grew as he stroked his fingertip up-and-down. “This spot right here.” He furthered his point by kissing you here, an enthusiastic appreciation that soon had you giggling, sensitivities rising up after being partially-forgotten in their absence. “Yep, here.
“I’m gonna-” His words were stalled as he prioritised kissing your neck. “-live right-” His lips moved all over his small area of focus. “-here. So that I can always be kissing you and hearing that gorgeous giggling.”
You felt yourself melting into his embrace as his mouth continued getting reacquainted with your neck. How many days had you dressed yourself in turtleneck sweaters in his absence? When in video calls, you were always careful of how you held your phone - vigilant to keep your neck from looking any wider than it already was. But he had all the time and dedication to enjoy all of it, bringing giddiness from a source of insecurities.
“If you’re gonna live there, I will have to charge you rent, sweetie.” You said.
He barely broke contact with your skin to respond. “Don’t care, it’s worth it.”
Victoria had approached where the two of you stood, arms wrapped around one another. The way she looked you up-and-down didn’t bring self-consciousness as it typically did with others, because you could see the hungry look in her eyes. She wasn’t about to disrupt the wonderful safety you felt in this relationship.
He continued to lavish kisses upon the side of your throat, not noticing how close she was, starting to play with your hair. You licked your lips as you looked at her, your heart racing just as the thought of what she might do next. The potential was enough to have you feeling a greater heat in your cheeks, and in your cunt.
“Have I complimented your outfit yet? ‘Cause you look stunning. I love you in leopard print.” She said - you had picked the linen overcoat for her, putting more thought into this ensemble in the hopes of bringing confidence with it. “But you’ve gotta know- our smart girl, you probably knew all along that you won’t be keeping it on for very long.
“Is that okay?” She asked.
“Totally.” You responded without hesitation.
She smiled as she moved in to secure more kisses from you, with Damiano still concentrating on the side of your throat. You removed your arms from around him when you felt her pushing the fabric off of your shoulders.
The intentions of your partners were clear and you realised that any talking, catching up with one another, would happen later. And this was okay with you.
You pulled your arms out of the coat. Her lips left yours so that she could see what she was doing. You could see Thomas getting a drink from the mini-fridge while Ethan watched the three of you, casually leaning against an armchair.
She pushed Damiano a little out of the way. But his kissing went on as her hands went to the front of your black top, pulling the material out of where you had tucked it into your high-waisted jeans. She started to take the shirt off of you, prompting him to move back slightly and you lifted your arms above your head.
You felt something like a present being unwrapped when his fingers went to the fly of your jeans. Her hands moved to your newly-exposed bra and you were feeling the warmth of her touch through the lacy fabric. You began to kiss her, putting one hand to the back of her head because you were craving so much more than a peck. Your other hand moved under her top, feeling her smooth skin as he worked the pants down.
“Again?” Ethan asked. “Did you forget that you would need her shoes off to remove her pants, again? I swear, you clowns make that same mistake every time.”
“How do you guys expect to get anywhere in life if you don’t learn from your mistakes?” Thomas teased.
Ethan secured your attention by saying your name, then he gestured to the sapphire-coloured chair. “Why don’t you come and sit down, baby? We can eliminate the risk of you tripping entirely.”
Victoria and Damiano released you. You walked in Ethan’s direction as he stood beside the tall-backed chair.
“So, who’s gonna tell her?” Thomas asked.
You pushed your jeans down off of your ass, making them easier for your partners to remove, before sitting on the chair. “Tell me what?”
“That chair is from the lobby.” Victoria said. “We noticed how regal it looked. And, well, you deserve a throne to sit on.”
“Wait, what are you saying? Did you steal this chair?” You asked, looking at where Damiano had begun to loosen the laces of your boots. “Because that’s a very sweet gesture, but I’m not worth getting into trouble like-...”
“No, no, we didn’t commit any crimes. We just used our charms.” He said.
“And cash.” Ethan said. “Probably one of the most generous tips they’ve ever gotten. So they brought it up for us and everything.”
“And we took a couple of photos with the staff. We played the celebrity card to get what we wanted.” She said. “We’ve truly changed.”
You were amazed, looking at each of them in awed silence. This was their vacation, the relaxing time away from the spotlight. You knew how tiring they all found it to be constantly curating the perfect public persona, Damiano had phrased it to you that he wished fame came with a switch off option. But they had sacrificed a bit of their anonymity just so you could have the best chair to sit in? It filled your heart, and warmth blossomed into your belly.
You lifted your ass from the cushioned seat, allowing Damiano to pull your underwear off of your body. You could see that Thomas had an arm around Victoria’s shoulders, both of them looking you all over and probably planning wicked things. Ethan was the closest to you, so you grabbed him for a kiss, which quickly developed into a series of passionate kisses.
As you were caressing his cheeks, his hands moved around to your back. He made quick work of unclasping your bra, drawing the lingerie away from your chest and discarding it. Your entire body exposed, you felt your skin responding to the touch of the air, and electric anticipation filled the suite.
You wrapped an arm around his shoulders, angling your body a little more towards him. As you were plunging your tongue into his mouth, you felt Victoria coming at you from the other side, going for your neck. This sensitive area was just as reactive to her mouth, tingles sweeping through your body with slightly more power than what Damiano had prompted because everything was feeling more serious now, the intensity inescapable, and only growing.
The serial-hickey-creator of the group, you were unsurprised when you felt her sucking on your skin. She was always the first one to bite. The others teased her, and sometimes complained about it. But you were flattered that she cared enough to leave such marks on you. You loved carrying a mark of her lust on your body.
Her mouth moved across your skin, finding different spots to secure her lips around as her hand discovered your bare chest. She held your breast in her hand, her fingers stroking the soft skin. Your erect nipple awaited her attention, firmly pressed against the palm of her hand. But she made you wait for that teasing, at the moment your focus went to the way her teeth grazed against your neck, brief but so tantalising.
Ethan was concentrating on your neck too, holding a hand at the nape of your neck. As you worked your tongue against the roof of his mouth, he reciprocated with his fingertips tenderly massaging your skin. It gave you the feeling of being on the verge of melting, your whole body heating up.
Your thighs were already parted before Thomas put his hands to them, but you pushed them further apart for him. He kneeled down on the floor before your chair, seeking to fill this space and you couldn’t help squirming a little in your anticipation.
He didn’t immediately dive for your pussy, finding other parts of your body to appreciate. You felt his first kiss on your belly, his lips tenderly caressing the area just below your navel. At the same time, she applied her fingers to your nipple and transferred her mouth to your earlobe. You moaned lightly into Ethan’s mouth, enjoying this group effort to get you worked up.
As she lazily played with your nipple, Thomas’ hands gradually moved lower. He massaged down, his fingers moving across the part of your body you always strived to hide. Slowly he kissed a trail down, his lips savouring what his hands had been appreciating. His attention was so dedicated, every movement so luxurious.
When she lightly nibbled on your earlobe, you parted from Ethan’s lips with a whimper. Your pussy was throbbing, and when your eyes met his, you felt certain that he knew this without saying. His eyes stared into yours and all of your neediness was on display for him.
“Are you ready to find out just how much we all missed you? ‘Cause we’ve got plans for you, our special girl.” She said directly into your ear. “That time apart- well, that was just ample opportunity for fantasising.” Your hand gripped to Ethan’s as the way she squeezed your nipple affected you more-and-more. “And there’s no distractions, there’s nothing more important than you being worshipped.”
You let out a surprised whine when she suddenly nipped at your ear. This was instantly followed by Thomas’ hand going lower, his fingers pressing into the squishy skin of your pubic mound. He applied more pressure, his touch sinking beneath the surface and your cravings grew more insistent, more noticeable tingles filling your pussy.
She returned her lips to your throat, with as much vigour as before. Your eyes moved to him, finding his eyes open and on you as he continued to drag his lips across your round belly. From your body, he was drawing more inspiration, pressing harder with the slow circles on your mound.
Your breath got stuck in your throat when his thorough fingers explored lower, taking his tender touch onto your labia. You didn’t have the words to match your desires as you stared into his light eyes, frozen on this peak he had eased you up to.
His lips caught up to his hands - he eased your folds back and, in the same second, kissed your already moist clit. Watching for your reactions, he continued to explore your clit. Sweet but firm kisses were applied to the hood and your eyes started to flutter shut as you leaned into her for some more support.
Ethan’s hand slipped out of yours as he left your side. He walked around, standing behind where Thomas was positioned, gaining a greater view. Your pleasure was being showcased for the entire room to enjoy.
She readjusted, placing her mouth to yours again. You let her take the lead as you kissed her back. The way he started to work his tongue up-and-down soon had you moaning into her mouth.
As you started to reach your hand out for his hair, he pulled away. Before you could raise any complaints, he was swiftly replaced by Ethan.
He used a different tactic, starting with your entrance. The tip of his tongue moved in a swirl, gathering the moisture that had accumulated during this wonderful teasing. Her tongue slid into your mouth, inviting you deeper into this sensual rhythm. They worked their tongues slowly, with a great amount of control as they continued to enjoy building you up. You had the time to enjoy and marvel in every sensation as it arose.
He dove his tongue into you, tasting your excitement directly from the source. At the same time, she was dragging her tongue out of your mouth, so that she could recalibrate, bringing her attention to just your lower lip. Her kisses quickly developed into sucking as you were enjoying how he wiggled his tongue between your pussy walls. The moans that this brought from you were hardly muffled, but you were too close to ecstasy to feel any kind of shame over your reactions.
Her teeth grazed your lip a couple of times before she pulled back, making a noise similar to a purr. “Fuck, it’s my turn. I’ve gotta find out if you taste as good as you sound.”
“She does.” You heard Thomas comment.
Ethan wasn’t greedy, moving aside to let her get at your pussy. But he remained close, his hand massaging your thigh as he maintained his view from the front row. Thomas was slightly further back, sitting on the ground to the side of you. He watched the unfolding events with his mouth hanging open a bit.
She got in close to your cunt, pressing one hand to the top of your thigh to ensure you kept it where she wanted it. Despite what she had said, she didn’t instantly go in with her mouth. At first you were just feeling two of her fingers, running up-and-down your swollen labia minora. She slowly stroked you here as she moved her lips to your thigh, kissing and beginning the work of creating a hickey. 
You ran your fingers lovingly through her hair, your other hand grasping the armrest as you tried to prepare for what was to come next. You let your eyes wander and when you looked Ethan over, you noticed how pronounced the bulge at the front of his pants had become. Looking at Thomas next, you could see that his cock was also clearly seeking freedom from his jeans. What did they plan to do to you with those dicks?
As she kept sucking and lightly nibbling your wide thigh, you looked in Damiano’s direction. He was the furthest from you, but that wasn’t due to any disinterest, with him watching as carefully as the others. Sitting on the edge of one of the beds, his hand was positioned at his dick. Over the material of his pants, he was intermittently giving his cock some tame squeezes.
When he noticed you watching, he just smiled and kept going. “Don’t mind me sweetheart, I’m just being a pervert back here.”
She broke contact with your leg so that she could respond. “What else is new?”
You laughed at this, but the sound was quickly mangled when she attached her mouth to your clitoris. You gave an incoherent stutter as she applied zealous kisses to the hood. She set her lips into place, perfectly cradling the tight bundle of nerves. Her fingers were still working your labia up-and-down, getting coated with wetness as you spent every second being dazzled by spectacular tingles.
She sucked your clitoris between her lips, to where she could get at it with her tongue. This left you reeling, so much of your body tensing as you moaned louder than before. You tightly wrapped your fingers around Ethan’s as your writhing grew more intense because your control was greatly weakening. Your cunt was aching, so sensitive despite not receiving the touches it craved. It was thrilling to just anticipate, knowing that you were gradually getting closer to the destruction you wanted.
“Come on amore, it must be your turn to take this Holy Communion.” Thomas said to Damiano.
This set you off laughing, it was potentially the most blasphemous thing you had ever heard. But it fit. The way they were all taking turns to consume at this special seat, which could certainly fill the role of an altar - it wasn’t unlike the Eucharist. You weren’t the only one to laugh.
As you pondered this, it made the set up feel even more dirty - in the most wonderful way possible. You were worthy of a truly depraved scene. The blush marking your cheeks grew darker and you began to place your hands over your face.
“No, no, no.” Thomas gently said as he got to his feet and started to approach. “Don’t you dare cover your face.” You could feel the heat from your face before your hands were actually touching the skin. He stood beside the seat and you looked up at him. “You can’t deprive me of seeing you when you’re like this, ‘cause you are so sexy when you’re overwhelmed and needy.”
“‘m so needy.” You said, your composure being thoroughly disrupted by her treatment of your clit.
He leaned in closer and you could smell your arousal on his breath as he caressed his fingers over your forehead. “I know, but we’re gonna take care of you, we’re gonna take care of every need you’ve got.”
You nodded, showing your consent, but also your understanding that this was a guarantee. He wasn’t just saying this to be sexy and contribute to the dirty talk, you knew that he meant it.
He moved his hand to your cheek and you tilted your head back so that your mouths could meet. You didn’t let her moving away from your cunt distract you, you were too caught up in his kisses. He stroked the side of your throat and you put an arm around his shoulders, remaining so turned on as you gave this intimacy the spotlight.
You felt some movement between your legs, but you weren’t even slightly ready for Damiano and all of the fire he instantly brought with him. He pushed his hands in under your legs so that he could grab a handful each of your generous butt straight away. Then he was using this to change the angle of your hips, getting you to lift your cunt.
His tongue sought out what Victoria had so thoroughly warmed up, powering between your walls. You gasped, your lips momentarily leaving Thomas’ as you couldn’t control the way your hips thrusted up. Your inner-walls clenched on Damiano’s tongue as you arched your back.
Thomas’ eyes swept all over your face, savouring every response, and they were only getting bigger. He kissed you slowly, giving you the opportunity to catch your breath. But you never took it, remaining in this elevated, unpredictable state.
Your eyes shut and you let your head rest against the chair as you began to get lost in all of this. As Damiano tirelessly wiggled his tongue all around inside of you, Thomas continued to treat you with sweet kisses. You pushed one of your hands in under his shirt, your fingers experiencing his warm skin as this feast for your senses raged on.
It took a moment for you to notice that Damiano had withdrawn, the pumping of blood through your sensitive pussy keeping you feeling stimulated in the absence of a touch.
But you weren’t left waiting long (not granted the time to calm yourself down and away from that edge). Ethan took up another turn at devouring your pussy. The tender explorations of his tongue created a stark contrast to Damiano’s zealous efforts. You returned your butt to the seat as more strength left your body.
Gradually, you identified a third noise source in the room, existing beyond what you could feel. Damiano and Victoria were kissing, exchanging words that you couldn’t quite hear. You didn’t try to eavesdrop, letting your attention stay on Thomas’ lips and Ethan’s tongue.
Soon enough, they were bringing their conversation to you. Damiano stroked your arm and said your name, a quiet request. “Sorry to interrupt…”
You drew back from Thomas, finding Damiano and Victoria standing at your other side. While you hadn’t been looking, he had taken off his shirt and, similarly, she was no longer wearing her pants.
“He’s dying to tell you about something we saw on OnlyFans.” She said, smirking.
“Me? It was your idea to come over here and tell her right this second.” He said.
“You guys and your designated OnlyFans time, is there really no other way for you to bond?” Thomas asked.
“Sure there is, it’s called me handing his ass to him in Smash Brothers, like, every day.” She said over the occasional noises of Ethan’s slurping, trying to keep all of the moisture in his mouth.
“Anyway, we saw this thing that I’ve never seen before, I don’t even know if there’s an official term for it. But as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to try it the next time I got the two of you together again.” Damiano said, indicating to you and her. You nodded, hoping that he didn’t expect any of your usual wit - your word choices currently limited as Ethan did nothing to help you focus. “I lay on my back and, facing each other, you both sit on my face.
“So you two can be making out and playing with each other while I’m eating up- back-and-forth, just multitasking like my whole life depends on it.” He said. “But only if you’re into it. Do you think you would wanna try that with us, sweetheart?”
Ethan pulled back from your cunt and you let out a shaky sigh as he answered first. “That sounds really hot, you should do it, baby.”
“Yeah. Not to add to any kind of peer pressure- but I would love to watch something like that.” Thomas said.
“But there’s plenty of other things we can do if you don’t feel like trying that.” Ethan said, with the other three immediately voicing their agreement.
You smiled, looking up at Victoria and Damiano. “It does sound hot, let’s see if we can pull it off.”
Everyone moved over to one of the king beds. You were keeping your wariness to yourself. You wanted to trust the process and go along with your most adventurous partners. But this wasn’t the first time you had worried about the unrealistic ideas that OnlyFans could spread - there wasn’t a lot of media that you truly trusted.
As he placed his head on a pillow, you and she determined your positions. It was decided that you would be closest to the headboard, facing out to the rest of the room, while her back would be to the others. She started to take the last of her clothes off and Ethan got to work getting Damiano out of his jeans.
Thomas offered you his hands, seeking to help you maintain your balance as you considered the best way to get into position. You watched your movements, determined to not knee Damiano’s face in the process. You placed one knee on either side of his head, your pussy hovering a few inches above his nose.
As Thomas moved away (giving you a parting kiss first), your naked girlfriend joined you. You grinned, reaching a hand out for her as you admired her perfect body. She placed herself close to you, her cunt ready to meet Damiano’s mouth as she put her knees in line with yours.
She cradled your round face in her hands, guiding you to look up and meet her gaze. She was wearing an excited smile and you were pleased to be part of bringing a fantasy into reality.
The fact that you should feature in any level of fantasy for the four of them was still hard for you to believe, even after months of assurances. If you thought about it for too long it might just blow your mind.
You tilted your head as she leaned in closer, lips coming together in a flawless moment. The longer that you kissed her, the more of her new taste that you experienced. A snapshot of this encounter, this taste was unique and curated just for you. You were happy to indulge and you wrapped some of her golden hair around your fingers.
The tempo that the two of you had been moving into was interrupted when the first swipe of Damiano’s tongue drew a surprised sputter from you. Without any warning, he had begun - the tip of his tongue at your entrance, before pushing down. As he went in the direction of your clitoral hood, he pressed the flat of his tongue to your cunt, seeking to stimulate more than just one spot.
You were breathless when she drew your attention back to kissing. He had begun to use his talented tongue in circles all around your swollen clit. As you kissed her back, you couldn’t help wiggling your hips a little, adding to the wonderful treatment you were receiving from his tongue.
When his tongue bumped against the face of your clitoral hood, it sent thrilling shockwaves through the core of your being. Your hands went to her arms, holding on for support as the pleasure shot up again. He grabbed your ass and the way that he squeezed made you feel so desired as you started to rock with a little more consistency.
He flicked his tongue against your clitoris before relocating and getting to work on her. A whimper accompanied her tongue sliding in between your lips. She put her hand to the back of your head, keeping you here so that she could explore more of this closeness. You wrapped your arms around her, feeling each skipped breath and twitch of her body.
The two of you had never shared cunnilingus in this style before. There had been successful experiments with various positions. But there was something about this setup that allowed you to feel so very connected to your girlfriend and you loved it. You were glad to have given it a chance.
From beneath you, you heard him take in a gasp of air. Then you were feeling his mouth, covering your clit in quick kisses. He parted his lips so that he could get at you with his tongue again. He was done teasing around your clitoris, now he let you feel his tongue on the tight bundle of nerves straight away. He played his tongue up-and-down on it, stroking your sensitivities to the next level.
As he settled into a thorough tempo, you tightened your arms around her. Neediness rose up as your dominant emotion as their tongues each appreciated you in their own way. You tapped into his momentum, moving your hips in time to ride his tongue. It was all feeling so promising, you started getting invested in the prospect of getting off like this - it seemed to be within your grasp.
But before you could get too carried away with it, he broke away so that he could gasp. “Cazzo, keep your mouth just like that please, baby.”
Too curious to help yourselves, you and she drew apart. You found that his words had been directed to Ethan, who had made room for himself between Damiano’s legs. While the other man was occupied, Ethan had started sucking his dick.
“Good boy.” She praised before turning back to you.
“How long has he been waiting to do that?” Thomas asked, he was taking in the whole scene from his spot lying beside Damiano.
Damiano’s hand was gripping your ass even tighter, surely he would leave indents. You could clearly feel each of his fingers, impossible to forget or not notice, even when he sought to return attention to your clit. Despite how shaky his breathing had become, the way that he licked your clitoris didn’t suffer from inconsistency.
He lapped his tongue up-and-down, inviting you deeper into the desires. She resumed kissing you and you got to feel like the centre of the universe again.
Even when he took his mouth away, your nerves continued to dance. You heard him rapidly moving his tongue on her cunt as you enjoyed the quivers in your aftermath. You placed your hands to her tits, enjoying what you had only been able to look at for so many months. Your fingers caressed the supple skin while your thumbs toyed with her very firm nipples. This earned you a suck on your bottom lip from her. Hearing her ragged breaths, you were pleased to get to play a part in her arousal.
“This position straight-up rocks.” Thomas admired.
You pulled back from her kisses to respond. “There isn’t much straight about it right now.”
“True.” He said as she giggled. “There must be a name for it. But if I wanted to Google it- I would have to look away. And that’s just not something I’m willing to do.”
“Imagine it from my perspective, sweetie.” Damiano said, and a second later you were feeling his mouth.
“Oh, I am.” Thomas said.
“We’ve just been calling it tandem, ‘cause like with a tandem bike, we’re riding the same thing at the same time.” She said and if you weren’t so preoccupied by the swirling of Damiano’s tongue, you would have laughed.
“That’s actually genius.�� Thomas said.
“Yeah, I’ve got a way with words when it comes to fucking.” She said.
The way Damiano had secured his lips around your clit made your elbows continuously tremor through your efforts to grope her chest. As your eyes fluttered shut, you lost track of everything else, getting overwhelmed by the pleasure. All of these stimulations were going directly to your core, where your climax could be unlocked - it was even closer now.
He started to bob his head, moving into a pacing that had you feeling the impacts in different spots. The stimulation was shared through your entire clitoris, the receptors sending the excitement far and wide. Until it was feeling like every nerve in your body was responding to his sucking.
Moving your hips opened you up to even more intensity. Strangled noises accompanied your pumps as you harnessed the friction. You were in a high greater than anything you could capture on your own.
“Please.” You whimpered - you didn’t know if this would be loud enough to be heard over the other activity, but you felt incapable of getting your voice any louder. “Please don’t stop, please.”
Grinding on his mouth was set to make you complete. As your body was overtaken by powerful shivers, you felt yourself arriving at the threshold of how much you could take. More pleas fell from your lips, but you had no idea if they made sense.
It didn’t matter because you were ascending. You threw your head back and let the wave of pleasure overtake you.
There was a smile on your face as you climbed off of him, his fingers finally releasing from your butt. You were feeling a little dazed, letting Thomas guide you to a spot to sit on the bed. You were trying to regain your breath as you sat down next to him. He applied kisses to your cheek as he loosely wrapped his arms around you.
“You looked really amazing.” He said, nuzzling against your skin. “Like, I thought I was hard before you climbed up on his face…”
Aside from this mention, he wasn’t rushing you into the next thing. There was time allowed before you could start to think about feeding his desires. He just held you as you gradually came back down to reality. No one was going to show you any pushiness in this moment, you knew that for sure and it felt good.
As you steadily regained your bearings, you checked the progress of your partners. Both of Damiano’s hands were occupied - one on the back of Ethan’s head to keep him bobbing, the other on Victoria’s chest, showing her nipple rougher treatment than what she had received by your hand.
You leaned into Thomas more-and-more, savouring this embrace as more of your limbs overlapped with his. He held you firmer and slightly increased the frequency of the kisses he gave you. You didn’t meet every one of his kisses, but you didn’t need to, it was enough to simply feel grounded with him. You stroked his thigh as you both gave the majority of your attention to the other three.
You recognised the look on her face, from the deep furrow in her brow to the way she incessantly nibbled on her lower lip. It all told you that she was close, concentrating on getting her release. Another sign of this came from how quiet she was being, it was often joked about how the only way to shut her up was to make her come.
Most of the sounds were coming from Damiano, his little ecstatic cries muffled as he kept his tongue buried deep inside of her. Ethan worked his mouth up-and-down the other man’s shaft and occasionally took his mouth off of it altogether, allowing him to thoroughly lick Damiano all over. It was quite clear that he was in favour of everything Ethan was doing.
It would have been impossible to not feel turned on when you were this close to so much passion. The next time Thomas kissed you, you found yourself craving more than before, you wanted to experience more of those lips. You wrapped your arm around his shoulder, turning to face him as you pursued less distance between your bodies, your hands exploring everything within reach.
“Babe…” You whispered against his lips. “Why are you still wearing so damn much?”
He allowed you to push the shirt up his chest. “I have no idea. But we can fix that.” He helped you get the item off before hurriedly swooping in for more kisses. “We can fix that right now.” As you shared kisses, he undid the fly of his jeans and began to work the pants down.
All too soon this took him out of your grasp as he stood up to remove them. But you admired from afar, your eyes greedily sweeping up-and-down his body, lingering at certain spots.
Meanwhile, he was nodding in the direction of Ethan. “You could ask him the same thing.”
“Hey, Ethan…” You said, crawling a little further down the bed to gain a clearer view of him. “What’s the deal- are you about to head out to a ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service’ kind of place?”
He drew his mouth away from Damiano and pushed his hair back so he could look at you. “Huh?”
Thomas cupped his hands to either side of his mouth as he directed his voice at Ethan. “Take your fucking clothes off.”
“Oh, right. Sorry Dami- to be continued…” He said, leaving his position between the other man’s legs.
You were distracted from watching Ethan undress by Thomas coming in for more kisses. You happily went along with this, wrapping your arms around him and bringing him closer than before. The combination of fast kisses and skin-on-skin had your thoughts jumping to new conclusions.
And it seemed that you weren’t the only one, with her voicing a desire for a new position. “-you to fuck me.”
“Okay, yeah, I mean, yeah for sure…” Damiano’s response was a little stilted.
“Okay?” She repeated. “I ask you to fuck me and you say okay?”
“Jesus, give me a second to catch my breath. Maybe my mouth is a little tired after eating two pussies at the same time.” He said. “Of course my answer is Hell yeah, and please, and thank you. Let me get a condom, baby.”
You pulled yourself away from Thomas, as the moment dictated. “Could you actually get three condoms?”
“I’m only gonna need one- you know how they work, right?” Damiano asked, pausing on his way over to the corner all of the luggage had been sent to.
Thomas secured your attention, kissing you on the cheek. “Have you got something planned?”
“Maybe.” You said. “I’ve gotta keep the two of you busy while they’re taking care of each other, don’t I?”
Ethan’s fingertips ghosted over your shoulders, making you smile. “Busy, how?”
“How about you lie down and I’ll show you what I mean- answer your questions that way, hm?” You offered.
He showed his approval by lying down immediately. Victoria was also lying down, flat on her back. They greeted each other with a ‘fancy seeing you here’, before sharing more tongue-in-cheek banter.
You asked Thomas to remain where he was standing for the moment, then you progressed to placing yourself on top of Ethan. You trapped him down to the mattress, straddling him at the waist.
Thomas followed your instruction, climbing atop Ethan’s legs to fill the space behind you. He didn’t hesitate to put his arms around your middle.
“Any further questions?” You asked of your boyfriends.
“Nope, you’ve answered everything for me.” Ethan said.
Damiano joined the rest of you on the mattress, handing out the condoms. She didn’t have any further complaints about his word choice as he climbed on top of her.
After applying his condom, Thomas began covering his shaft and your hole with lubricant. As he did this, you leaned down, kissing Ethan. His hands lovingly stroked up-and-down your sides, appreciating across every curve, like he always did.
Thomas’ capable fingers gently exploring and massaging between your cheeks was building the anticipation inside of you. So much so that you couldn’t simply hold still as you kissed Ethan. You readjusted (doing your best to not disturb Thomas’ important process) until you could line your cunt up with his hard dick. You didn’t take him in just yet. Working your hips, you rubbed your slit on the side of his cock. His hands stopped caressing you, now holding you with a set grip, encouraging you to continue without taking his lips off of yours.
This process of warming you up (the prelude to penetration) was dreamy, the lack of rush giving you time to notice all of your body’s reactions. Your inner-walls were ready to clench. Your asshole was getting more sensitive with each passover of Thomas’ fingers.
“Please…” Ethan moaned, grinding back against you as his own cravings evidently grew.
Maybe under different circumstances, you would have possessed the strength necessary to make him wait and put him through more teasing. But Ethan could make you needy like no one else. And seeing all of the effort they had gone through for you, you knew that he deserved to feel good (and then some).
You gave him a parting kiss (it was difficult to not linger) and began sitting up, shifting your body weight back in the process. Your back met Thomas’ chest as you got yourself into the right position on top of Ethan. His eyes were fixed on you, not distracted by Victoria and Damiano directly beside him, as he admired each of your movements.
Tensing your thighs, you got yourself to the spot where his head could start spreading you open. His fingers clamped down on your ample hips and you saw his nostrils flare as his sensitive head gradually moved deeper into you.
As you were easing yourself down, Thomas moved in closer, beginning to kiss you on the cheek. More of his body was lining up with yours - the perfect embrace almost complete.
“Are you ready for me, love?” He asked.
You grinned, positively buzzing in your eagerness. “Absolutely.”
His slicked dick travelled toward your prepped hole, carefully sinking into you. Your breath momentarily halted, the beginning of being filled already felt so good. You let your eyes shut, taking in all of the sensations as you knew you were safe to surrender your body to them.
Beside you, you could hear the consistent collisions of her body with Damiano’s. They had found the ideal momentum to serve their desires, getting caught up in one another with all of the excitement as if it were the very first time.
Thomas didn’t try to replicate what they were doing. When he started to move, it was in a way that hinted at more to come - but that wasn’t where the three of you were up to just yet.
He held you to him with one arm around your middle while his other hand gripped the top of your thigh - it wasn’t just his dick in your asshole that was making you feel claimed in the most wonderful way possible. Ethan’s hands were on you too, holding onto you like his life depended on it. One of his hands fondled your chest, beneath your breast, where the rib cage would be visible on a thinner woman, like Victoria. His other hand held lower, on your hip, where stretch marks (both old and new) decorated the skin.
It made your heart flutter, the way they sought out the parts of you that you tirelessly worked to keep hidden on a daily basis.
Before they were going to set about ruining it, they celebrated your body. It was the appreciation you had never learnt how to show yourself.
Thomas moved his hips into you, getting you to slide down a little further on Ethan’s shaft. His body responded with a gentle rock, sending you back towards Thomas. Trapped between them, you went with the tempo he was establishing, feeling the tension rising in the process.
You reached behind you, stroking one of your hands up and into his hair. You opened your eyes, discovering that he was close as he watched your reactions. You kissed him, your fingers twisting around his blonde hair as he kissed you back. You felt more power coming into his pumps and your heart started racing accordingly.
Your body stretched to accommodate both of their cocks, your clitoris quivering as you continued to feel the after-effects of earlier treatment. You were going back up, electricity running through more of your body with each determined swing of your hips. Through the mounting pressure, you slipped into a consistent tempo. You didn’t know how long you would be able to maintain it, but for the moment you gave it your all.
On the next pump forward, your pussy claimed the last inches of Ethan’s cock. This was a sharp increase in intensity that you had been pitifully unprepared for. You broke away from Thomas with a whine and you heard Ethan panting in response to bottoming out. Feeling him at this deepest point had you spellbound, your walls fluttering as you did your best to adjust.
You let Thomas keep you in the promising momentum, even as you struggled to catch your breath. He took his mouth down to your neck, dancing kisses across the skin until there was a smile growing on your face. Your hand in his hair gripped into a fist as your greediness took over the threats of being overwhelmed, demanding more.
When your eyes steadily opened, it was to find Damiano mostly blocking your view of Ethan. The singer had leaned down, capturing Ethan’s lips in a series of passionate kisses. Over one of Damiano’s shoulders, you could see her watching the two men making out. There was a satisfied smile on her lips, with her seemingly taking this as inspiration for how she kept at snapping her hips into him.
You stuck with Thomas as he picked up a little speed, chasing greater friction as he lessened the pause between thrusts. Ethan writhed beneath you. Thomas was pushing you closer to that magnificent edge, his hand gripping the curve of your belly as it bounced with every single collision.
“Unf…” Ethan moaned and he threw an arm around Damiano’s shoulders, clinging to him for support.
You felt the quaking of Ethan’s body as more noises came from him. He arched his back, his head massaging you as the clamping of your walls began to spell his end. His fingers gripped you as he gave you as much as he could. Desperation marked his movements, keeping him going.
Until he was overcome by the dawning of his climax. He fell apart with gasps and whines, all from the safety of Damiano’s arms.
“Good boy.” She cooed.
Ethan fell back onto the bed, swearing through his efforts to regain his breath. As he slid out of your cunt, the activity in the room resumed.
You leaned forward, grabbing the mattress with one hand and Ethan with the other in an attempt to keep yourself steady against Thomas’ quick jolting. As your hole clamped around the inches of his dick, you felt the tension inside of you hitting its peak. You choked back sobs as you surrendered into the sensations caused by each monumental-feeling impact.
Beside you, she had gotten quiet in the face of escalating pleasure. Ethan had reached out, playing with her clitoris as she and Damiano continued to move together. She had one leg raised, draped over his shoulder, providing him with an efficient and deep angle. He didn’t need to watch her to keep in time with her bucking, the synergy remained even though his eyes were glued to you and Thomas.
You had lost all track of time, and even your own thoughts. You were floating away on the stimulations as your world was rocked again-and-again on a continuous loop.
With your whole body given over to his incredible pacing, spasms began to occur at your very core. It was too much to resist and the tension was bursting (along with everything else) inside of you.
Thomas crossed the line at almost the same second as you. He jolted forward to finish inside of you. His incoherent, strangled noises accompanied your uncontrolled moaning. This release brought your loudest sounds out, basking in all of the triumph of this moment.
You slumped forward, while trying to not collapse all of your weight onto Ethan. He wrapped you up in his arms as Thomas pulled away from you.
You laid down with Ethan and, for the moment, you were daunted by how widespread the after-effects of your climax were. After so long of being worked up, everything had reached its conclusion.
Even as you enjoyed the sight of it, watching Damiano and Victoria fucking didn’t feel entirely real. It was almost like there was a screen between you and them, putting you in the role of passive viewer.
“Fuck yes.” He rejoiced as she threw her head back, almost levitating off of the bed in her efforts to grind against him. “Yea-ah-ah, fuck yes, yes… ah…”
It appeared that he captured his climax first. But mere seconds later, you were seeing seemingly every muscle in her body clench. Then she began to twitch and convulse in an unfakeable display of overload, promptly followed by her panting into her release.
She wasn’t very responsive to his kisses and soon he was leaving her alone altogether - as was her preferred way to come down. He climbed over to the closeby bed and Thomas joined him on the other king-sized bed. He took up the position of little spoon, both of them facing the bed you occupied.
“Do you get it now- how much we missed you, was that point made clear?” She asked.
You reached out, taking her hand that was lying on the mattress. “Inescapably clear, absolutely nobody needs to try and make that point again.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that being on the menu any time soon.” Ethan said, dragging his fingers slowly up-and-down your back.
“Menu.” Damiano repeated, perking up from an inexplicable boost of energy. “Has she seen the menu yet?”
“You left it on the coffee table.” Thomas told him.
He was soon getting up in pursuit of this item. “Thanks, babe.”
“Prepare to never hear the end of how perfect this menu is.” She warned.
“He picked this hotel out of all of the other low-key options we had, specifically due to the room service menu.” Ethan said. “He got one look at that and instantly started picking out the things he knew you would love. After that, it was pretty obvious that none of the other hotels stood a chance.”
You sat up, excited to go over the menu with Damiano. You were more than flattered that this had been the driving factor in choosing this hotel to stay in. They were so concerned with giving you the perfect experience that they had curated it down to the last detail. You knew that you were incredibly lucky to get this. They were showing you the appreciation that you had been failing to show yourself.
The way they were treating you made you forget about the time apart. When they were on the road, all of the effort in your relationship went to finding time for each other. But today, the effort had gone to reaffirming your bond as a fivesome.
And maybe there was still some work to do (catching up with words, getting more thorough with details). But you were definitely back on the right track. You were feeling much better than you had been coming into this, you had been brought to a place where the fact that you belonged with them was beyond doubt.
“Sweetheart, come look at this- they have three different styles of garlic bread.” Damiano said.
You joined him sitting at the end of the bed. “No way.”
After you and he had poured over all of the dishes listed, the menu was passed to the other three. They made their selections and, as usual, the responsibility of calling to place the order fell to Ethan.
As everyone waited for the food to arrive, you looked around at your partners. You could have taken a nap after all of that exertion. But you were feeling energised at being in the same room as them, knowing no one was on the verge of dragging them out to fulfil an important commitment.
You turned to who was closest to you, Damiano. “Okay, catch me up on all the inside jokes I’ve missed.”
He opened his mouth to respond, but Thomas beat him to the punch. “Why would you ask him? He’s the least funny of all of us, it’s literally been documented.”
“Splash.” Victoria contributed, quoting Damiano back to him.
“Fuckin’ splash.” Thomas said.
They were referring back to a word-play joke Damiano had attempted to make when they were featured on one of YouTube’s most watched beauty channels. ‘A guy steps into a caffé… splash’, he had delivered, to a polite but lukewarm response. These days it was used when the others wanted to laugh at him.
His mouth dropped open in exaggerated hurt before he jumped to defend himself. “I was put on the spot, it was the best I could do. I’m funnier in Italian anyway.”
“Are you sure about that?” Thomas asked.
“You’re about to be sure of the back of my hand upside your head.” Damiano play-threatened, getting to his feet.
A new energy came into the suite and you savoured every second of getting to participate with them.
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