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#and does an adult in ur life ever say something so off-putting that u don’t even know how to interpret it
charliespringverse · 7 months
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iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations
all highlighted quotes: 91
· ouch/ow/owie: 5
· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4
· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4
She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy
“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour
“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')
It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!
I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn
“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw
Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises
If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think
“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY
“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.
“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(
“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)
“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah
“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)
Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy
We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((
This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)
Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(
Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony
He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language
“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends
I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨
“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc
“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE
And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((
“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically
Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)
It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach
“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(
Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN
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luobingmeis · 2 years
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things do not feel Good right now <3
#i’m abt to go on a very long laundry list of reasons why i’m throwing myself a pity party#which i beg all of u to. ignore.#bc ik w/ posting on social media there is an air of. wanting to be seen.#which i will not deny! but it is much easier to yell into a void of profile pics then. be by myself or (god forbid) actually talk to someone#but like! here are all my fantasy escapist media so i can ignore how i am trying to avoid reality at all costs <3#alcohol continues to be the devil. i am so tired.#and does an adult in ur life ever say something so off-putting that u don’t even know how to interpret it#like wtf does ‘this house will all be yours anyway just make sure u take care of my pets :)’#like. i’m 90% sure that means my house will be left to me but. it was just. weird.#which tying into some other things my m*ther said tn im just like. what the fuck is happening#anyways i feel so guilty having m*mmy issues bc i don’t trust my own perspective of things#so what if im just ungrateful and a bitch? <3#also sometimes i feel too anxious to leave the house#and i am either too anxious or too low on energy to talk/talk consistently with most people i know#so that’s all fun#and i want out of here but idek if/when that will ever happen#and i am so very tired! and so very anxious! and i would like to be able to just talk abt that#and hope get the point across how it’s ruining my mental health without having to say it#and not have to hear advice that just evades the point that. when i am without any distractions i am deeply unhappy <3#i am at all times stuck in august/september and i feel like i will not let myself leave#and when it turns out that this is all pmsing and hormones i will simultaneously become worse and pretend this never happened <3#anyways. ‘im scared and i do not want to be like this’ lines that will haunt me forever#anyways. sudden downspirals that make u want to be medicated but also just sleep for a while.#i have had an uptick of sudden downspirals lately and it’s all bc i no longer have the motivation of. self-care/self-preservation.#and in the morning. i will either wake up more anxious or wake up embarrassed.#either way. i always feel like a brat complaining abt my home life or my job or my mental health etc etc etc but. alas.#i just. miss a lot of things rn. and i would like to not be like this.#i rly don’t want advice or. sympathy or anything like that. bc idek what i would say to most stuff#so instead i will bury this post with posts abt my funny little guys <3
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kkodzvken · 3 years
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take the dive - sugawara koushi x milf!reader
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tags/warnings: smut, 18+ ONLY! slight dubcon, infidelity, post timeskip (suga teaches reader’s kids). overstimulation and slight dumbification, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex, semi-public (in an empty classroom)
a/n: this is my piece for @ultimate-astridwriting’s milf fuckers collab, which you can find here!! thank you for hosting this astrid, and thank u to everyone in the server for ur love and support as i worked on this <33. title cred: take the dive by jonghyun
wc: 3.9k
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Amidst a faculty full of stuffy old dinosaurs and suits, Sugawara Koushi is a breath of fresh air. He’s a welcome distraction, a pretty face to focus on at dull PTA meetings and assemblies. And you knew that you weren’t the only one making heart eyes at him. Everywhere that he went, heads turned, and moms whispered. At the bus stop, on the sidelines of sports matches, in the waiting rooms outside dance classes.
It was just that, though -- just whispers. Little knowing glances and nudged shoulders, dreamy sighs and brief sinful indulgences. Nothing more than a brief escape from the monotony of your everyday lives. You’d lose yourselves in the fantasy for a few seconds, and then pull your heads down from the clouds and plant your feet on solid ground. You enjoyed your gossip with the other moms, and then you returned home, to your husband and children. To your family.
You love them, of course. Your children are your world, and your husband is a good man. He’s a good man, and that’s what made it so hard. He treats you well, keeps his words soft and never once put his hands on you. 
He may be good, but, God, was he boring. You can’t remember the last time that he’d even kissed you, let alone fucked you. He came home later and later each night, too tired from work to do anything but silently scarf down his dinner and plant himself on the couch in front of the television. He dragged himself into bed hours after you did. He tried to be quiet, he really did, but he woke you up every single night with his stomping and shuffling. When you snuggled closer to him, he pushed you off. My back hurts too bad, he’d say, voice tinged with regret. Remind me to book another appointment with the chiropractor. 
It was always some excuse or another. 
So, really, you couldn’t blame yourself for your wandering eye. You weren’t going to act on it, of course -- you weren’t a cheater -- but the young teacher was something to occupy yourself with. A pretty face to fill your thoughts as you wrangled your horde of screaming kids from swim lessons to dance practice to art classes. A pretty, pretty body to imagine as you fucked yourself with your fingers, teeth sinking into your bottom lip to muffle your moans. You couldn’t help but imagine that it was him, lithe body leaning over yours. No complaints of aching backs and sore muscles, none of the complications that came with age. 
You’d leave your husband catatonic on the couch, put the kids to sleep, and then go dream of their hot teacher. You should’ve been more ashamed, but there was a part of you that loved the thrill of it. You flushed whenever you saw Mr. Sugawara the next morning, memories of your illicit thoughts filling your mind, but it also made your body feel electric. 
Of course there was a part of you that longed to throw caution to the wind and jump the young man, but your conscience was much stronger than your weak, lustful thoughts. You were happy with the way things were now. As dull as your husband was, and as insufferable as the children could sometimes be, you were happy. 
This was all you had ever wanted. A house in the suburbs, a husband with a well-paying job, three kids and a dog. You’re living the fucking dream. You’re happy, you tell yourself.
So why the fuck are you so unsatisfied?
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
With a deep breath, you stare down the heavy glass doors at the school’s entrance. You want nothing more than to find the idiot architect who designed this building, and strangle him for installing pull doors. Your arms are already sore from carrying the giant tray of brownies from your car to the front of the school, and you worry that if you put the treats down to open the door, you wouldn’t be able to lift them up again. A quick glance at your watch tells you that you have two minutes left to reach the gym where the bake sale is being held. The PTA president is notorious for hating latecomers, and you weren’t in the mood to get your head bit off.
You’re debating doing some gymnastics and using your foot to grab the handle, when you notice footsteps approaching from behind you. You open your mouth to ask for help, but they beat you to it. “Let me get the door,” says their syrupy, melodic voice.
Their familiar voice.
Your body practically freezes as a strong arm reaches over your shoulder. Long fingers – fingers that you’ve fantasized about too many times to count – twist the handle and push it open easily. You don’t know how you didn’t notice him approaching sooner, but now that he’s here, your senses are in overdrive. The sweet scent of his cologne, the sound of his breath, the warmth of his body – it’s all too much, and it makes your knees feel weak.
“Mr. Sugawara,” you say, voice coming out much breathier than you intended. This must be some kind of Pavlovian response from all your fantasizing, because there is no reason for your stomach to be twisting right now. “Thank you.”
He grins sheepishly and steps away, and you hate the way that your body screams at you to lean into him. “It’s no problem. Is that for the bake sale? Here, let me carry it for you.”
You try to protest, but there’s really no point. His long fingers are already pushing yours to the sides, and you swear you’ve been electrified as he pulls the tray out of your hands. It’s a shame, really, that he’s wearing a button-down. The sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, at least, but you would’ve loved to see his biceps flex as he carried that tray…
What am I doing? You dig your nails into your palm to snap yourself out of your thoughts, but it’s hard to stay lucid when he’s so beautiful. He carries the brownies with ease, using just one arm to support their weight as the other holds the door open for you. It should make you upset, that you’re so weak in comparison to him, but the thought just makes you feel even more breathless. He’s so strong, so young, and so unlike your husband.
“Thank you,” you say again as he steps into the building behind you. You reach for the tray, but he waves you off.
“Nonsense. I’ll walk you to the gym.”
“Oh, really, you don’t have to—”
“I insist. Anything for my favorite mom.”
His…favorite? His words leave you too stupefied to protest any further, and he takes your silence as compliance. Your body automatically follows in his footsteps as he paces down the hallways.
He looks over at you and smiles comfortingly. It lights up his entire face, but does little to ease your turbulent thoughts.
Your mind is still fixated on his words as you step onto the squeaky wood flooring of the gymnasium. Sugawara calmly walks over to the PTA president, who looks like she’s about to rip her hair out. She’s surrounded by a gaggle of other moms, all jabbering away with concern painted across their faces.
“Is something wrong, ladies?” he asks. His voice snaps them all out of their conversation, and their eyes widen as they take him in.
“Yes,” says the PTA president scornfully. “We were supposed to have the brownies here already! The sale starts in ten minutes, and if this keeps up, I won’t have enough time to inventory everything and make it presentable, and –”
“I have the brownies,” you cut in, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
She blanches, and looks from you to the tray in Sugawara’s arms. An oh is all she can muster before grabbing the brownies and rushing off.
“Is everything okay?” one of the other moms asks, her voice laced with fake sweetness. “Oh, and you look so tired, dear. If you couldn’t manage your part, you should’ve just said so!”
“It would’ve been no trouble,” another woman says. “I’d have had no trouble whipping up a tray for you! Everyone always does love my baking.”
You grit your teeth and resist the urge to snap at them. It’s always like this – the other moms seem so in tune with their lives of domestic bliss, playing games of politics and constantly competing to be the best. Try as you might, you just can’t satisfy yourself with a life like theirs.
The material of Sugawara’s shirt brushes against you, and you start. He doesn’t pull away as you flinch, instead gently resting his hand on the small of your back. “Sorry to interrupt, but can I steal her away? Mrs. (L/N), I have your son’s science fair project sitting in my classroom. He keeps forgetting to bring it home. Would you like to go collect it now?”
You nod, relieved at the excuse to escape these women and their sickening artificial sweetness. Sugawara gently guides you with the hand on your back. You can’t help but internally smirk at the thinly-veiled jealousy on the faces of the other mothers.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.  
“This is why you’re my favorite,” Sugawara says, once you’re safely out of earshot. “All these PTA moms are so fake. But you’re not like that, are you?”
You nod, still a bit convinced that this is all a dream. He doesn’t remove his hand from your back as you walk down the hallways, and only pulls away when you reach the door to his classroom. He fishes through his pocket and pulls out a ring of keys, before insert one into the knob and pushing the door open. He gestures for you to enter first, and so you do, blinking at the harsh sudden brightness of the automatic lights.
You awkwardly glance around the room. You’ve been here plenty of times before, but that was all during the daytime, when it was packed full of energetic children. It feels…strange, to be alone in a classroom as an adult. Or, well, alone, except for the stupidly attractive teacher that you’ve been lusting over.
“Where’s the project?” you ask, trying to diffuse some of the tension building in your stomach. “I should head home soon.”
Sugawara leans his back against the door and cocks his head. “You know, I know what you say about me.”
“What?”
“Don’t play dumb.” His eyes rove across your body, lingering on your chest for far longer than they should. “I’m not deaf, you know. I hear all the things you say about me. You’re just like all the other moms.” He pushes off the door, stalking closer to you. You instinctively take a step back. “Only difference is, you might actually have the guts to do something about it.”
Your heart thuds in your chest, so hard that you think your ribs might bruise. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mr. Sugawara. I-”
You take another step back, and another, and suddenly your back collides with concrete. Your body jolts, and you yelp at the sudden pain.
Sugawara leans closer. One of his hands braces against the board behind your head, and the other one comes up to cradle your face. His long fingers hook under your chin and press, forcing you to tilt your head up and meet his gaze. His thumb brushes against your lip, and you can’t deny how the sensation makes your body feel like jelly.
Every rational thought in your mind is screaming at you to run, to leave, to get away from him and go back to your husband, but God, it’s been so long since you’ve felt like this. It’s been so long since someone’s made your heart race and your breaths quicken, since someone’s made you blush like a schoolgirl over a simple touch.
“What was that you said?” he asks, his voice dripping with honey. “You don’t know what I’m talking about?”
You swallow and bite the inside of your cheek. The pain does nothing to clear the fog inside your mind. “I-I don’t, I-”
“You do,” he interrupts, his thumb still toying with your lip. “You’re so fucking obvious. I bet you’re wet already, aren’t you?”
“Mr. Sugawara!” His lewd words make you gasp, but more than anything, you hate the fact that he’s right. Your body has a mind of its own, and it wants nothing more than to wrap your lips around his thumb and pull him closer. It wants to feel his arms wrapped around you, feel his body towering over you.
But you can’t. As much as you want to, you can’t, because you have a husband at home who’s waiting for you. Sure, he isn’t home right now, because he’s putting in extra hours at the office. And sure, he hasn’t touched you or made you feel desired in weeks. Hell, you haven’t had a genuine conversation in weeks. But he’s still your husband! You try and remind yourself of that. You roll the thought around in your head, hoping that it’ll push your thoughts of Sugawara away.
But the young teacher is persistent, and there’s a glimmer in his eye that makes your chest tighten. “Call me Koushi, princess.”
“Don’t call me princess –”
“What, you’re going to pretend that it didn’t make you wetter? Going to pretend that you aren’t clenching your thighs together right now?” He leans in even closer, so that his breath brushes against your ear as he whispers. “Your body doesn’t lie, baby.”
A whine slips past your lips at his words, and then you gasp, mortified with yourself. But the grin that covers his face makes your transgression worth it, because God, he’s handsome. His hand squeezes your chin even tighter, and then trails down to your neck. Your breath catches in your chest. You’re hyperaware of his every movement, of his fingers trailing across your skin, his touch feather-light. It leaves you aching for more.
You instinctively whine again, and he lets out a noise of surprised delight. “Whining like this, and you’re still denying that you want me? What’s got you so embarrassed?”
“I have a husband,” you hiss – or, at least, you try to hiss. It comes out more like a whimper than anything else.
Sugawara looks at you for a beat – and then throws his head back and laughs. It catches you off guard, and you furrow your brow. “Why the fuck are you laughing?”
He collects himself, but his eyes are still gleaming when he looks back at you. “Sure, you have a husband. But that doesn’t stop you from thinking about me, does it? Tell me, when’s the last time that your husband took care of you? When’s the last time that he touched you, or fucked you, or made you feel good?”
“Mr. Sugawara, this is inappropriate–”
“Stop lying to yourself.” His voice suddenly drops, his stare forceful and deadly serious. “Say the word, and I’ll go. We can pretend this never happened. But anyone with eyes can tell that you’re unsatisfied.”
“I…I don’t…” Your thoughts feel like a wave, building higher and higher. They bounce around your head, reverberating against your skull, so loud that you can’t even think.
“Why are you settling?”
“Mr. Sugawara, please, I–”
“Why are you settling, when you know you want more?”
The wave crests.
You don’t know who moves first, but somehow, your fingers are tangled in his hair, and his lips are slotted against yours. It’s not soft, or sweet – it’s a mess of teeth and tongues and feverish breaths. His hands are everywhere. They trail over your skin, explore the curves of your chest and your stomach, grip tightly at your waist to pull you closer.
“Mr. Sugawara,” you pant against his lips. Your lungs scream for oxygen, but you can’t bear to drag yourself away from him for even a second. He kisses so well. It may be rushed, and messy, but there’s so much hunger behind his actions that it makes your head spin. It’s like his lips are a live wire, and every second that they touch yours, they send a thousand volts of electricity arcing through your body.
“Koushi,” he breathes. “Call me Koushi, please.” You nod, and then hurriedly undo the buttons of his shirt, popping a few off in the process. Neither of you care. His hands finally dip beneath the hem of your dress, and he wastes no time in unceremoniously tugging it off your body.
Your hands instinctively go to cover yourself. Age and childbirth have changed your body, and you know that Mr. Sugawara – no, Koushi – is probably used to beautiful young women. You still don’t understand why his eye landed on you. He surely has dozens of girls his age fawning over him, with flat stomachs and perky tits. Why you?
He grips your wrists and pries your hands away from your body. “Don’t do that,” he says, so gentle in contrast to the fire from just moments ago. “Don’t cover yourself up. You’re beautiful.”
Oh.
You can’t remember the last time that someone called you beautiful. You can’t remember the last time that you felt beautiful.
But right now, with Koushi staring at you, eyes blown out with lust… you feel it.
He sinks onto his knees, lips already pressing little kisses against your hips and upper thighs. You try and protest – really, Koushi, you don’t have to – but he shushes you instantly. He hooks one of your thighs over his shoulder and dives in without hesitation. Even through the fabric of your panties, you’re in fucking heaven. His tongue laves against your clit, focusing so much attention onto the swollen bead that you can’t help but let out a moan.
You slap your hand over your mouth to silence yourself. You’re in an elementary school, for God’s sake. The bake sale is at the other side of the large building, but you’re terrified of someone walking past and catching you. Guilt swirls around your heart, but it’s quick to dissipate when Koushi tugs your panties off and throws them over his shoulder. He buries himself into your cunt again, and it’s even better without the barrier. The coil in your stomach is tightening embarrassingly fast, but you can’t seem to find it in yourself to care. His tongue laps at your folds, slurping lewdly.
The pleasure is overwhelming. Your body moves of its own accord. Your hips grind against Koushi’s face, and he moans right into your cunt. His lips move up to your clit again, alternating between licking and sucking. You’re so focused on his mouth that you barely notice his fingers, so long and pretty, collecting your wetness.
You do notice when he fucks two of those pretty fingers into you. He immediately starts scissoring his fingers to stretch you out, before hooking them against that spot inside of you that makes your head spin. Your entire body is shaking with euphoria, so much that you can’t handle it.
“Close,” you cry out, trying to keep yourself upright. “Close, close, please, don’t stop!”
He moans into you again when you tug at his hair. It’s the push that you need to finally fall over the edge. You bite into your palm to keep from screaming as you gush all over him, chest heaving and eyes tearing up.
He keeps curling his fingers, keeps lapping at your clit, until you tug on his hair and cry that the overstimulation is too much. As he lets your leg down and stands up, he makes a show of licking your cum off his fingers, slurping on them loudly. It would make you embarrassed, but you’re too focused on his other hand as it dips down to his belt. The muscles of his stomach flex as he undoes the buckle. You take the opportunity to rake your eyes over his toned torso. He seems so slender when he’s dressed, but his shoulders are surprisingly broad.
He looks up at you with a little smirk. “Caught you staring,” he teases. You blush as he pulls his pants and boxers down in one go, freeing his cock. It’s already hard, and so pretty, just like him. His tip is red and dripping with precum. You want so badly to get a taste, but Koushi has other plans. He spins you by your shoulders, and then presses at the small of your back to make you lay across his desk.
You groan when you feel him slap his cock against your ass a few times, before running it through your folds to collect your wetness. “Please,” you gasp. “No teasing, please.”
“Just came, and you’re already needy?” he chuckles. “That husband of yours must really not be satisfying you.”
You’re spared from having to think of a retort by him sinking into you. A cry leaves your lips, but it’s too good for you to even care about the sound. He feels like heaven as he sinks into you. His cock stretches you out deliciously.
You’re already feeling delirious as he starts to shallowly thrust and work his way in. “Fuck, you’re tight,” he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to you. “So – fuck…”
You can’t do anything but moan and scratch at the table as he starts to fuck into you in earnest. His cock is perfectly curved to hit your spot every time, and soon you’re reduced to a mess underneath him. His balls slap against your ass with every thrust. It hurts, it’s all too much, but it’s so fucking good. You don’t think you’ve ever felt pleasure like this – mind numbing and all consuming, so powerful that it makes your eyes roll back.
“Fuck,” he groans again, bending down so that he can loom over you and leave little bites all over your back and shoulders. “Not gonna last if you keep squeezing me like that, shit!”
“Faster, please,” you beg, and he obliges. He sets an absolutely brutal pace, somehow managing to fuck you hard, fast, and at the perfect angle all at once. Moans and cries spill freely out of your open mouth. When he reaches forward to toy with your clit, it’s all too much, and it sends you over the edge again. Your body practically spasms as he fucks you through your second orgasm. He shows you no mercy, gives you no time to come down. You don’t know if you’re coming again, or if you just never stopped. Your mind is hazy with pleasure and overstimulation.
You’re a twitching mess by the time that he pulls out, but you still whine at the loss. You’re far too fucked out to turn around and look at him, but in the corner of your consciousness, you can hear him panting and stroking himself furiously. His moans are so beautiful. Within a few short seconds, he’s coming all over your ass, painting your pretty skin white with his seed.
You don’t know how long you’re laying there before he taps your cheek to get your attention. “C’mon now,” he says, a tired smile on his face. “Let’s get you cleaned up. We wouldn’t want your husband finding out, would we?”
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bakugosbratx · 3 years
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OMGOMG so idk if you’ve watched the promised Neverland BUT I RLY HOPE U HAVE anyways I was listening to isabellas lullaby and this au came into my head like how about bakugou x reader who were childhood friends in that au in another life and she gets sent away and he’s devastated but then they meet in another life when they’re older and she hums the lullaby and he realizes it’s her? Please omg ur so talented!!! Thank you!!!
SFW Lullaby - AU Bakugo x Reader
WARNING: Angst, swearing, alternate universe(s), soulmates, fluff, etc.
A/N: I didn’t know what to name Katsuki in the first part so I just called him Kanchan lol I haven’t heard of this anime but I did some reading and I want to see it now! I hope you like it. I kinda put my own spin on it and I hope it fits the image you were thinking. I love the concept. If any of you have request, please feel free to send it to me! ✨
Check out my other works here
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Year: 1900’s
You packed what was left of your clothing into your old, worn out suitcase. You’ve had it since as long as your young mind could remember. You always wanted a new start. Especially away from this orphanage you grew up in your whole life, but new starts never come without a price.
Everyone at school was excited for you. Except for one.
“What the hell you mean you’re leaving?” Kanchan huffed.
Even though you both are only eleven years old, Kanchan had quite a potty mouth with a short temper.
“I got adopted, Kanchan! Isn’t that exciting?!”
“Yeah.. exciting.”
“C’mon, Kanchan, let’s play on the playground. It is recess after all.”
You and Kanchan have been friends ever since kindergarten. It started off with him getting the adult scissors and cutting your ponytail. You cried, the principal was involved, and you both were not allowed around each other for the rest of the school year. Then, you got put into the same first grade class. Even though Kanchan still bullied you, at least he didn’t cause any destruction to your physical features. He only would take your juice box instead.
Once, Kanchan lied and said you were an accomplice to him doing something bad so you both had to stay in during recess and write sentences. What should have been punishment turned into fits of giggles as he found ways to annoy the teacher and cause more trouble. Even though it cost you both a few more recess days this brought you two even closer.
Throughout the years, fate would put you two in the same classes. You would always play on the playground together and work on group projects. Even traded lunches at times. You were inseparable.
Kanchan pushed you on the swings as you sang your infamous lullaby. You have sang it ever since you could talk. Your caretaker would always sing it to you and the rest of the orphans. Kanchan would pick on you for it, but he secretly loved it. It always made him happy.
“Let me sing a lullaby
As you close your eyes
And as you're drifting off to sleep
How I hope that the dreams that you find
Are bright
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?
Where a tomorrow waits for you and I
So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye
'Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side
I will think of our song when the nights are too long
I'll dream of you for that's where I belong
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies
Only, in my dreams, do we meet again”
“Recess is over!” The teachers called.
All the children rushed to form a single file line to go inside. Kanchan couldn’t help but fall behind as you ran ahead.
“C’mon Kanchan! Don’t want to be late!” You giggled.
Kanchan faked a smile.
“I’m right behind you!”
The days seemed to fly. For you, you couldn’t ask for any better. For Kanchan it felt like the world was against him. How could this be happening? As happy as he was for you, he sure as hell hated that his best friend was leaving. He doesn’t get close to anyone else. He doesn’t want anyone else as his best friend. He just wants you.
Kanchan came to the orphanage to reluctantly say his goodbyes. You made sure you had all of your belongings while happily humming your song.
“I get your leaving, but could you not act so damn happy about it.” Kanchan states in aggregation. It was to mask his pain.
“Oh, Kanchan. I apologize. I am just so excited!”
“I’m aware.”
You take a quick glance around your old room.
“Looks like this is what is left of my belongings. Will you help carry my stuff to the car?” You asked, sweetly.
Kanchan nods, taking your heavy suitcase and carrying it to your new parents car. He put it into the trunk and aggressively shuts it. You were saying goodbye to everyone else before you turn to him. You and him were close, but Kanchan wasn’t the PDA type. This time was an exception as you hugged him. You felt his warm embrace around yours.
“I’ll miss you, Kanchan. If you ever go to New York City one day, come find me.”
“I’ll always look for you.”
The hug seemed like years, but you both did not mind. Behind that happy smile of yours there was sadness. As much as you wanted to be adopted, you also didn’t want to leave your friends behind. They were like family to you.
You pull away to meet his gaze and you gently placed a kiss on his cheek. Kanchan was taken back by the sudden action of yours as his cheeks glowed a crimson red.
“Do me a favor and one day when you someday have a wife and a family, will you tell them about me?”
Kanchan processed your words.
“As long as you do the same.”
You held out your pinky and he connected his pinky with yours.
“Promise.” You both say in unison.
You said your last quick goodbyes before you hopped into the backseat of the car. You looked out the window to see everyone telling you goodbye. You could not help the tears that fell when you looked at Kanchan, looking sad. He stood there until the cars taillights were no longer in sight and then some. The caretaker had to convince him to go home.
Life goes on. You both live a happy life with beautiful families and homes. It took you both some time, though, as a tug was always on the both of your hearts. Some say that means your soulmates, some say it’s just a crush, and some say it’s just sadness over a friendship. You both never met in this lifetime again due to you both being so young and so far apart. You both always had dreams of seeing each other again and speaking, but it just never happened. You both were perished by the time the internet came around. Even on your death beds, some of your final thoughts were each other. Both of your children tried finding a way to get you both together, but it wasn’t possible.
Still, you both kept your promises.
Year: 2020
“Class, welcome our new student, Y/N!” Your teacher excitedly greeted. You nervously waved.
“Hello Y/N!” Said the class in unison.
“Y/N, take a seat next to Katsuki Bakugo and we will get class started.”
You looked to see where the teacher was pointing. You saw a ashy blonde hair boy sitting at his desk with a scowl on his face. He did not look like the friendly type so you did not even try to get to know him today, but for some reason, your heart raced at the sight of him. He was not your type so it seemed a bit off for you to feel this way. You decided to ignore it as you took your seat next to the blonde.
“Okay class, we are going to have group projects! You are paired up next to the person you are sitting next to. The project is due in two weeks.”
“Great.” Katsuki groans in annoyance.
You were taken back by his sudden rudeness, but tried to brush it off. You would probably have the same reaction as him if you were lured with the new kid. Plus, you came into the school year late due to the fact you just moved to Japan from New York City. It was a great opportunity for you to study abroad.
“If it makes you feel any better, I am really good at History.” You say nervously.
“It doesn’t, nerd.” Katsuki insults.
The teacher finishes teaching the lesson and the class is dismissed. You gathered your stuff about to leave and Katsuki follows closely behind you. He stops you by handing you a piece of paper.
“What is this?” You ask.
“Open it, dumbass.”
You opened up the folded paper to see it is an address and the words “meet me at my place after school.”
Before you could even question anything, Katsuki was gone. You rushed to your next class as you heard the bell ring. The high school does not give you as much time as you should have to get to one class to another.
School was finally over and you made your way out the building. You noticed Katsuki waiting at the entrance.
“Took you long enough. Got lost?” Katsuki teased.
Your cheeks went red because you actually did get lost.
“You didn’t have to wait for me, you know?”
“I’m aware, but we are going to the same place. I don’t need you getting lost and I fail this project.”
“Fair enough.”
You and Katsuki began walking towards his place. Awkward silence overcame both of you so you started singing a lullaby that calms you down. Your mother sang this song since you were little.
“Let me sing a lullaby
As you close your eyes
And as you're drifting off to sleep
How I hope that the dreams that you find
Are bright
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies?
Where a tomorrow waits for you and I
So hold me tight one more time, but don't kiss me goodbye
'Cause I know that I'll see you on the other side
I will think of our song when the nights are too long
I'll dream of you for that's where I belong
Love, can we meet again soon in the bluest of skies
Only, in my dreams, do we meet again”
Katsuki stopped dead in his tracks. He has never heard of this lullaby before, but the song sounded so familiar. So did your voice and the feeling in his chest. He has never seen you a day in his life and neither have you, but the familiarity feeling in both of you said otherwise. You both have heard rumors of this feeling before, but you both have never experienced it until now.
You turned to face him.
“Something wrong?”
Katsuki shook his head no. You held out your pinky finger.
“Promise?”
Katsuki contemplated before wrapping his pinky finger around yours. He usually would have laughed or insulted someone for doing that, but this was different.
“Promise.”
©bakugosbratx
All Rights Reserved
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fencesandfrogs · 3 years
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hi my name is matthew and i have some thoughts about haes
okay disclaimers: i’m a little jumpy around the subject so while i don’t feel i’m being unnecessarily harsh/unfair, if ur firm on haes w no yielding, and you don’t want to argue about it? either skip this or don’t respond. i don’t really care. but i’m putting the body under a read more.
[3k words, 10 minute read. sections headers, some text italicized for emphasis/some readibility. no images/videos, a few links.]
second disclaimer: i’m not planning on going heavy on sources. i will happily provide sources to people who want them, and i haven’t written the actual post yet but it’s unlike me not to cite anything, but doing an in depth well researched and sourced post on this type of subject is not something i’m up for right now.
like i said, i’m jumpy around this subject. and on the off chance someone decides this post is Bad and i must be banished to the Bad Blogs Bin, i’d rather not put a lot of work into it.
third disclaimer: i’m not particularly interested in reading X study that says actually no people who way 700 pounds are healthy and people who weigh less than 200 are going to die early deaths. i know that’s a straw man i needed to a) get it out of the way now and b) i just am tired all the time and don’t have a ton of itme for it. that said, if you do send one to me, i will probably read it at some point, and i may or may not provide my thoughts.
right then. moving on.
with no more waffling, my thesis is as follows: weight stigma is bad, however obesity is killing people and i really would like people to stop pretending it doesn’t.
i. really hate that that’s a controversial opinion. i mean i hold a decent number of somewhat controversial opinions, most of which i keep to myself because i’m a firm believer that what i think about something should not interfere with how other people live their lives. as a noncontroversial example, i think mormons are in a cult. children, being minors, being indoctrinated is a problem, one i myself am not dedicated to solving because i have other issues but as far as adults involved, that’s their business.
(*please note that i’m not expanding on my thoughts because this post is about haes but i do have a more complicated opinion i’m just trying to demonstrate something please don’t at me about cults i know that they’re bad and adults in them also need help getting out that’s not the point of this post & i’m anxious enough so like, please.)
anyway so. obesity. is bad. it is bad for your health. if you are obese, you are not healthy. that said, i am not going to tell you to lose weight. no one should tell you to lose weight except for your doctor and maybe your immediate family, and that should be from a place of “you are not living your best life and i care about you.” i, an internet stranger, along with pretty much everyone you know, does not get to tell you about how terrible your life is and what a horrible person you are for existing, because you are not a bad person for being overweight. you do not deserve discrimination or mistreatment. even if you’re not actively trying to lose weight. it doesn’t matter. you are a human being like any other and i will fight like hell for you.
i’m not planning on going heavy into eating disorders because a) that’s a triggering topic for me and b) it’s going to muddle the point i’m getting, but since it is a large part of the arguments re. haes, it’s certainly going to come up, so i’d like to list the officially recognized eating disorders.
Anorexia Nervosa (AN)
Bulimia Nervosa (BN)
Binge Eating Disorder (BED)
Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder (OSFED)
Pica
Rumination Disorder
Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)
Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder (UFED)
Other (aka “we are considering making this its own category but for matthew’s purposes it fits into AFRID or UFED well enough because the details aren’t important”)
so yeah. we’ll circle back to this.
section one: haes
haes initially stood for heatlh at every size. that doesn’t really matter anymore because people say healthy at every size now, however, the distinction is important. because.
okay. when i say being obese makes you inherently unhealthy, i am not saying you are having health problems for being overweight. i am saying you have a chronic illness. i have asthma. that makes me inherently unhealthy. i don’t necessarily have an health problems because i am asthmatic, but i have a chronic illness and it certainly would, say, make me more likely to die from covid. that is a fact. saying healthy at every lung functionality would not change that.
but you know, i can still be active and like smell plants and interact in the world like anyone else. i just try to keep my inhaler near by.
so similarly, if you are overweight/obese (i’ve been saying only obese because its less letters so i’m sticking with that), you can, like, live ur best life and take care of your health. you can feel good about your body and eat good food and move and again, i really don’t want anyone reading this to feel that i think everyone who’s obese needs to lose that weight because adults can do whatever they want.
what i’m angry about is that a good thing (encouraging people to make good choices no matter what so they can feel good in their bodies) got turned into a bad thing (telling people they don’t need to change what they’re doing because they’re perfectly healthy).
section two: but what about...?
see my third disclaimer. but as a fast rundown of things i probably won’t talk about in detail later:
the obesity paradox is a specific thing about a specific type of illness in the elderly. it’s also not about obesity, it’s about being slightly overweight. it’s a complicated thing, but it’s not true most of the time
sumo wrestlers have major health problems as soon as they stop exercising like crazy.
did you know there are countries where girls are force fed to become overweight? diet culture goes both ways
if you want to say healthy at every size, you have to mean that every. that means you are not allowed to say shit about underweight people. i’m sorry, is someone you care about wasting away? are they 5′10 and weigh  90 pounds and their hair is falling out because they aren’t eating? i’m sorry, you said people are healthy at every size. you can’t make fun of skinny people. you have to suck it up because you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
section three: self care
a hypothetical that is blindingly obvious to where i’m going: if a small child wants to play with a knife, are you caring for them by giving into it? what if they want to drink some vodka? what if they want to run away from home to live with a stranger in a white van?
i really really hope all those answers are “no, you’re neglecting that child, and also possibly actively harming it.”
so my point is pretty obvious: giving yourself something because you want it does not mean you are caring for yourself.
you know what i want  to do all the time? sleep and rewatch twilight every day. but that makes me feel worse. so even though it’s terrible and i hate it, i have to take care of myself (because there is only one of me that i ever get) and go outside and talk to people and eat something that isn���t popcorn because you need protein to live.
(sorry i tried to keep nutrition out of that but i have to actively seek out sufficient salt and protein due to my campus doing a lot of low sodium food, which is bad when u actually need to eat a good amount of salt to keep ur body working, and also i’m vegetarian. so i’m constantly making myself seek it out.)
that doesn’t mean self care is always supposed to be work, but i mean. i’ve always not really gotten into it. i think because i’m hella depressed and i’ve been depressed long enough i can recognize it as this separate entity when it comes to a lot of the mental stuff. like, why do i feel like everything is meaningless? that’s just the depression.
but i digress, this isn’t about me. [proceeds to talk about me again]
one phrase i like a lot for myself is “bad food makes me feel bad.” now, i’m not a fan of putting moral judgements to food. but this works for me, personally. sure, eating a bunch of ice cream right now is good, but it’s going to suck when my stomach flips the fuck out because of all the sugar. and so it seems quite obvious to me that eating that ice cream is not, in fact, caring for my body.
and i think we’d collectively be a bit better served if we could learn to distinguish between self-care and self-kindness. ask anyone who does caregiving (childcare, nurses, etc): it is hard, often thankless (at least for children they’re devils who don’t realize that their toys will get wrecked if they don’t pick them up) work. you care for them not by doing what they want, but what is best for them.
section four: diet culture
as i’ve already played my hand up above with underweight vs haes, i think it’s kind of obvious that i have strong feelings about underweight not being healthy also. so i just want to take stock of what is and isn’t diet culture, and what i think about it. this is probably the most subjective part of this essay.
things i think are diet culture
people trying ridiculous diets. obviously diet culture in the purest sense. it’s real dumb. you need all the food groups to live. sometimes it’s okay, like cutting out sugar, but i’d say its a net negative
not trying to do lifestyle changes. that’s the sustainable way to lose weight. so. yeah.
weight cycling. actually still up for debate if this is bad. this paper says no, along with a lot of others, but i’m not sitting down and reading through all of them, and all of the ones that say its bad, to offer my opinion. i’m leaning towards “it’s better than nothing,” but we’ll see
a lot of other stuff i’m doing this off the top of my head and trying to avoid issues w eating disorders so.
things i think aren’t diet culture
women being pressured to look a certain way. that’s been going on for a long time. being skinny used to be bad. it’s a fact of the patriarchy.
most things? idk i have this impression that like, anyone exercising or eating healthy is a part of diet culture, when in reality, people just have different lifestyles. (also, again, if you’re going with haes, as in HealthyAES (hyaes?) you can’t call it unhealthy or you’re not respecting that damn E)
in conclusion: diet culture has issues, but the correct response to them is not “fuck you, i’m eating fourteen pounds of sugar.” eat fourteen pounds of sugar because you want to. (also it should be fat because if you really want to stick it to the man you should be eating fat, big sugar is responsible for a huge amount of todays dietary problems, both on the under/overweight side)
section five: discrimination
yeah no fuck people who discriminate about fat people. that’s all i’m just moving along to a transition since i was drifting away from my point about health.
section six: weight stigma
...is not responsible for your health issues. being obese is. accept the consequences of your lifestyle.
well. okay. that’s a little unfair. accept the consequences of not treating your chronic illness. and i feel i’ve probably lost people for calling obesity an illness but that’s the whole point of my post.
just like carrying externally heavy objects hurts your joints, so does carrying a lot of weight inside. fat does not cushion your organs, it kills them. getting rid of weight stigma will not make these issues go away.
the treatment for obesity is eating the number of calories you need to sustain a healthy weight at your current exercise levels. (*please consult with your doctor this is more complicated when you have to lose a lot of weight.)
section seven: cico. or, why your metabolism is fine
your body does not break the laws of thermodynamics. it cannot magically create more energy out of a given amount of calories.
there are issues with calorie counting, yes. i think it’s usually done in an unsustainable way that isn’t teaching people to make decisions, just to do math. it can be hard to get an accurate count.
but you are not a miracle of science. you have not discovered how to create and destroy energy. i’m sorry to be the one to break if to you.
if you don’t believe me, if you’re really sure your metabolism is different, go on and get it tested. tell your doctors. because it’s a major problem if it’s not working right.
similarly, i’m sorry, but if someone is the same height as you and a (very, like, +- 50 pounds) different weight, and neither of you have exisitng health conditions, you are not eating the same things/doing the same exercise. you have not broken the laws of physics.
possibly, one of you have untreated celiacs or something of the ilk meaning your body is actually malfunctioning. but if that’s true, i excluded you already, so shoo. get out of here and play in the sun with the other kids.
if you don’t believe this, there’s not much i can do to convince you. but i encourage you to count your calories for a month. find some tdee calculators. weigh yourself. make sure you count everything, it all goes down. check the math. (you can do any amount of time but a month is what you need for weight to be meaningful imo otherwise you’re just proving weight fluctuates a lot).
section eight: cico. or, why counting calories is not disordered eating
it can sure be a symptom of disordered eating, and it can certainly make disordered eating worse, but it isn’t an eating disorder.
also, assuming you’re not trying to verify the laws of thermodynamics, i don’t think counting every calorie is necessary. i have approximate values (500/meal, and around 300 in snacks), which i try not to go over or under.
yeah. i actually use calorie counting to make sure i’m eating enough in one sitting. some of my medication screws with my apetite and then i only eat like 300 calories and suddenly its like 11 and i need to go to bed but i’m hungry but eating before bed makes me feel terrible and it sucks.
but hey, according to some people, avoiding that is unhealthy.
okay i’m moving on before i get salty because the next section is touchy
section nine: eating disorders.
the three main eating disorders are listed way up there. they’re the first three. AN, BN, BED.
oh, yeah, binge eating? that’s actually disordered eating too. it’s not normal.
i’m not going to elaborate on the point because i absolutely know i can’t do it without getting really fucking angry that people call calorie counting disordered eating, like i haven’t watched a fifth grader eat one meal a day because she’s scared she’s overweight. like i haven’t watched a sixth grader cram food into his mouth until he’s sick because he’s worried he’s not bulky enough for sports. like i haven’t watched an eleventh grader tell me he hasn’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday, but it’s fine, he doesn’t want his mac and cheese anyway, since he needs to lose weight.
you think someone keeping track of some numbers is an eating disorder? then either you’re lucky enough to never have to deal with eating disorders on a personal level, and i’m very happy for you, or you have, and you should maybe reevaluate that.
alright i’m cutting myself off now whoop.
section ten: intuitive eating
you know, much like haes, i want to like this. it fits in with my bad-food-makes-me-feel-bad mentality. i’m angry and tired and hungry because i ate like, a late breakfast/early lunch and now i need to eat again because if i don’t eat every six to eight hours i have a medical condition that makes me feel like shit (an aside: unless you’ve been told by a doctor, you don’t need to eat every 2-3 hours. unless you’re a child or have an applicable medical condition, you can probably eat one meal a day and be firne.)
but much like haes, it now has a meaning i can’t in good consience endorse. i can’t stand for a movement that tells people who acknowledge weight makes their joints hurt that they just need to keep eating until they feel better.
section eleven: conclusion
i have a lot more thoughts but again i’m hungry. i meant to talk more about IE and my problems with it but maybe that will be its own post.
i won’t say i’m happy to talk about this because i can’t promise i am (see: eating disorder issues.), but i will most likely respond to constructive discussion if someone sees this and wants to. i can also provide sources. i hate going, “sources available on request” but i tried to provide some stuff for some of the heavily disputed/i already had a source for it and didn’t have to dig through google scholar to find information that’s been peer reviewed.
and i do sincerely wish everyone, at any size, that they fracture the disconnect between them and their bodies (oop didn’t talk about that either another time then) & that they find peace with who they are, and that they get to live happy & fulfilling lives.
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jiminrings · 4 years
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insufferable
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pairing: jimin x y/n
glimpse: rich kid!jimin is a cuddly spoiled brat, personal assistant!y/n is his constant in everything, bodyguard!jungkook keeps making pLAUSIBLE excuses to wear dark clothes, and chef!jin’s dishes are as heavenly as his looks but nO he’s not gonna make u homemade cookie dough at 2 in the morning just bECAUSE u asked nicely :((( he’s gonna do it at 4 am bc you pouted
wordcount: 31k so if u have difficulty with this fic then pls open it in ur desktop or open it in tumblr safari/browser instead of the app :D
notes: this piece is a favorite of mine!! this consumed nine pages in my notebook when i was just getting started to write the fLOW and this whole thing is the longest i’ve ever written // and aLSO the gif isn’t mine!! :D
(*・ω・)ノ
if there’s one thing that jimin hates
absolutely hates
besides not having limited edition luxury items because it sold out so qUICKLY that he didn’t get to (slightly) pull some strings to snatch it
besides not having the satisfactory unboxing from the hundreds of PR packages he gets everyday because the packaging’s either tOO simple or too difficult
is you, his personal assistant, not giving in to his wishes
technically your job description’s the opposite since it meant to comply to jimin’s beck and call and NOT interfere with his decisions
at first you were scared to death to even rAISE a brow at jimin’s decisions
“y/n, if u were to buy a limited edition audemars piguet watch — which variant would you choose?? silver, gold, oR black leather??”
“AP??? mr. park — sir i-...”
“sir. three letters. y/n.,.,.. ur a genius. thanks i’m gonna buy all three now :D”
but that was two years ago!!
you grew balls and learned to shut up only when necessary!!
you may be jimin’s personal assistant but you turned into a best friend now who jUST so happens to be with him almost 24/7 while still being his PA
he got you to drop mr. park early on because it AGED him
jimin remembers being in his breakfast nook at the time with his phone turned off and as he’s holding it he could see his reflection on the black screen and he almost fLIPS to see this wrinkle at the corner of his eye
and at the same moment he hears your voice going mR. PARK as you go on to say something completely irrelevant to the battle in his mind of oh my god do i hAVE a wrinkle
“jimin. not mr. park pls that’s my father. jimin. jimin. y’know what??? call me bABY JIMIN-“
he was freaking out
lol it wasn’t a wrinkle
just a little sleep mark he obtained because he was snoozing off for hours with his face squished into his pillow persistently
being close was inevitable, really
you were close in age and you’re his first ever assistant!!!
sure jimin has had his fair share of nannies growing up but now he’s an adult and he’s mvoed out
but his parents still look out for him :))
so yeah he gets a personal assistant, a bodyguard that could also be the driver (jimin’s desperate to mASTER driving okay), and a chef!!
it’s said that a person is not more than six connections away from another
you are a fIRM believer of that now because of a cousin who has a friend whose-
mr. and mrs. park were genuinely :O and :D to know that jimin didn’t resent you and you were going along well!!! money isn’t an issue but jimin’s bills this month wasn’t as high as it used to be because he let this season’s designer pieces because honestly they were a bit ugly hehe :D
he’s learned from you that he dOESN’T have to buy apparel from each season because he does that for all the previous,,, he should buy it because he genuinely likes it and u know what
you’re right
you get that jimin has the freedom to buy what he wants because it is his money after all and he’s still technically your boss even if mr. and mrs. park (ok maybe their assistant) are the ones that transfer your salary to your bank account
and you only step in (first as a friend, second as a PA) when he’s being ULTIMATELY irrational and shallow
jimin’s looking at you with a full pout, fists balled up as another whine escapes from his throat
“why won’t you just let me buy another sweater???”
the gray sweater in question was clearly expensive and you don’t even have to take a look at the label to confirm your thoughts
it was just a tiny splotch of chocolate from the french toast jin made for breakfast!!!
jimin was particularly giddy to have it for breakfast because “jIN-HYUNG i didn’t know u would cook this for breakfast omg i loVE U”
the chef made extra portions of course because he knows the younger one goes WEAK for his french toast
aha and not to flex but basically everything else he cooks because he’s that good :D
didn’t even notice on how eager he was eating until you strolled in to get your own plate and just booped at the damp spot of his sweater
:((((
“because i could wash it off, jimin”
his clothes were dry-cleaned to the surprise of no one
and yes u kinda feel sorry because he has a pout on his face and you know this is one of his favorite sweaters aND all he has to do is press some buttons and god it would probably be delivered to him in less than an hour
he has a new shirt on and jimin’s tugging at the hem of yours as if to plead, watching you work under his curious gaze
u know u have a wash basin here somewhere in this laundry room
that almost isn’t used at all :))
anything that has to do with chores in jimin’s massive place is for decor purposes only :))))
two top-notch washing machines that you could only sEE through pinterest before working here and they just collect DUST
if you were hypothetically a robber can you like.,.,., steal this from jimin.,.,.,. without him noticing,.,...
actually yeah you can
anyways
jimin’s just sitting himself on top of said washing machine as your there beside him with a basin that’s filled with water
and then there’s some detergent??? and-
“wHY ARE yOU STRETCHING OUT THE FABRIC”
“jimin iM NOT”
you’re scrubbing out the stain as gentle yet as efficient as possible without having the fabric stretched too much
he’s whining and clawing at you to sTOP and he shuts himself up every ten seconds because
you’re rinsing it off again???
and you’re squeezing it out???
basic hand washing is a relatively new concept that’s mind-boggling to jimin apparently :D
within a second are you raising up his sweater to him and he’s skeptical so he’s feeling it out and-
tHE STAIN
THE STAIN DISAPPEARED
omg
jimin is so clueless at times especially since your standard of normal is different from his so as much as you wanna take credit for it
like that time he went to the snow for a goddamn photoshoot and u were in a cabin and he pointed to a gas stove and was like :O
god if seokjin was included in that trip he would laugh endlessly bc jimin was too familiar with an electric stove and nOT a gas one
“isn’t this unsafe??”
poor baby was too nervous when you turned the gas range on and you’re like “yA a bit but only when you forget to turn it off obviously”
so he was turning the knob and it won’t turn on and he was so frustrated!!! he wasn’t even gonna cook anything!!! he just wanted to turn the stove on!!!!
then jimin sees you fishing out a lighter you carry on with you because he likes bringing these artisan candles with him whenever he’s going out for a shoot
you’re rotating the knob?? there still isn’t fire bUT now there’s one now that you put the flame from the lighter near it???
he was NEARLY scared as he’s hiding behind your back
“aha look at that!!! a flame!!! from a gas stove!! :D”
now’s not the time to have your fun at poking on his cluelessness because you have things to do and stuff to pack and jimin really needs to learn basic skills at life to survive on his own but that’s for another time
“now toss it to the washing machine and wash it regularly while i send you your schedule for today.”
:)
you’re skipping off to fetch your phone by the breakfast nook and jimin’s... kinda just... standing there
he’s stoic with a sheepish smile
:)
“you.... you don’t know how to work the washing machine.,.,.,.?”
aha jimin definitely does not know how to
feels a bit embarrassed because he seems daunted by this task and his personal assistant has question marks all over her face
but nonetheless you still come over to him and jimin’s heart went wOOSH
he is an adult who is almost fully dependent on you and that bit he is entirely sure of :))
“what do you think is step one?”
oh no iS THIS A TRICK QUESTION
jimin can blame it on his grogginess because he just woke up but he knows that you know he is vERY much awake right now
“... plug?? it’s not battery-operated, right?? plug it in!! yeah, plug it in :D”
he’s proud of that one for knowing because he’s already finding himself the plug and boop just plug it in to that socket right there!! it makes perfect sense
you’re there trying to stifle your laughter at the image of jimin probably having the image of a washing machine with those little 9V batteries you use in a diy series circuit in class :(((
you are not gonna laugh THAT loudly
“that’s good, jimin!! okay now what do you think is the next step?”
okay he’s intimidated now
“do you put in the shirt first or do you put in the detergent?? wHY is there no water?? is he supposed to fill it up?? these buttons look helpful but they’re just too many-“
he finds you putting your hand on top of his to release his grip on the sweater :(((
“you put it in.”
“your washing machine’s on the fancier side so it calibrates how heavy you put in first and then after it does that, it figures out what type of washing needs to be done!! how much water and how much detergent!! and then-”
oh
he didn’t know that
the door to the laundry room bursts open and a jokingly-frantic jungkook pops in
jimin thought it was a serious situation for a second because kook was putting him behind himself and he’s even cROUCHING and his stance is of a basketball player in a defense stance and he’s like WHAT WHAT JUNGKOOK???
“from what do i need to protect jimin from?? is the washing machine being tOO bizarre from him???”
“yA!!!”
jimin’s pouting at that and even punches kook in the shoulder and that just makes him laugh even more
even jungkook pokes fun at his job
he takes being a bodyguard vERY seriously okay!!!
yes he may be younger than jimin and he’s actually the first-ever bodyguard he’s ever had that’s close to his age bUT that doesn’t mean his skillset is far from those middle-aged men that went out with jimin when he was still in his teens
kook’s took up various martial arts and at one point even took boxing!! he likes to think that he is more than certified for this job ok
jimin doesn’t actually need that much protecting (thankfully there aren’t any death threats or something grave),, it just so happened that he’s a bit of a prominent figure and there are times that when he steps out in public, he almost immediately gets mobbed
or there are times when jimin just needs someone to be with him to give him a sense of security because he is highly vulnerable to being mugged
that’s what jungkook is for!!
originally he was supposed to have a uniform and jimin protested that to his parents because aish it looked too official and he dOESN’T want that
doesn’t stop kook from intentionally buying tracksuits and matching sets because it makes him feel official and they’re just really comfortable :D
you, jungkook and jin are jimin’s first-evers (as he’d like to call it) and quite frankly he’s thankful because the three of you were eASY to be along with!!
it’s always been a running joke to how you work for jimin and how even jin who was older than him hAD to call him mr. park at first
“yA think of my pride when i used to call you mr. park!!”
he got everyone to drop it and jin was so relieved and resorted to calling him random food because he cares for the kid and this mochi he ate the other day resembled jimin
he sometimes sees jimin’s face in those jiggly cakes he makes as a dessert for when he’s done with a shoot and has been texting him nonstop because he was craving :((
jungkook was laid off calling jimin as mr. park in a rather different way
he accidentally called jimin as jimin-hyung
pretty eARLY ON 
and god he just froze because fuck did he rEALLY just call his job jimin-hyung???
and jimin was :O
he was freaking out excitedly!!
oMG this is the first time someone called him hyung!!!
he isn’t counting the times he got called in honorifics by those snotty little kids that were the children of his parents’ friends
and he froze too and he was about to squeal!!!
jungkook was about to bury himself 
like seriously
should he pretend it was a ghost or something?? that it wasn’t him?? maybe jimin’s just getting old and he’s hearing things??
“mr. park i-”
“no no nOOO!! omg it’s okay don’t call me mr. park!! just call me jimin!! jimin-hyung!! i like that better pls jungkook pls :D”
it was comfortable between the four of you and you are so glad that jimin is only SELDOM an uptight rich brat and you know what,,, maybe he’s even picking up some personality traits from the three of you
it was basically impossible to not absorb traits from each other
basically the living situation is pretty direct!!
jimin’s property has a huge backyard
and in that backyard, there’s this separate guesthouse that has three rooms and has its own bathroom to each one!!
THE THREE OF YOU DON’T RESIDE THERE THO :D
the three of you used to but just on this particularly lonely night, jimin was ??? because there are more than enough rooms for the four of you in the main house
ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢⁿ'ᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ ᵒᵏ ʰᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵉⁿʲᵒʸˢ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵖᵃⁿʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇʳᶦⁿᵍ
so on that night where the three of you are cramped into jin’s room because he has the biggest and you all wanted to watch this movie that they said is too ridiculous that it became good, there was a kNOCK
jungkook was immediately pushed to open the door because he was the bodyguard and he was sCARED
normally jimin doesn’t even go to the backyard
and it ended up with you opening the door with jin and kook crouched behind you and they were wAIT IS THAT MR. PARK
the three of you were in your pajamas and are like aha :D
jimin is as surprised as you are and he does a double-take on kook because he was so used to seeing him in these non-obligatory but much appreciated tracksuits and nOT matching pink pajamas with uh an angry bunny???
he snapped out quickly when you asked him what’s wrong and you’re already in PA mode asking him what he needs
“o-oh!! uhm no no everything’s fine!! aHa you see i was just wondering if you uhm -- if the three of you wanna come in?? h-hang out..,.,?? i have this cake that was given to me awhile ago a-and i can’t eat it alone and i-...”
god he was so cute
fumbling with his words as he tries to ask out the three of you to spend time with him and not for work
once he was done he looks up to three grinning faces bc he was sO adorable being beyond nervous
and the three of you agreed instantly like sURE as long as we don’t disrupt you or anything!! :D
needless to say instant friendship was born that night hehe
he asked the three of you to move to the main house and not stay in the guest one because he was very insistent that it was isolating to think of and you’re not even guests!!!!
so yeah the very next day the three of you moved in and you’re all still :D
as per rest days, you have them!! 
those two free days adjust to jimin’s schedule so they were being rotated constantly
jimin can have all three of you in some days, but most of the time, one’s out to have their off!! it basically adjusts to what jimin has in his plate for the day
you all have your own places but jimin insists that you can have ur off-days here!!! the three of you could stay and he’s not gonna bother the one who has said off-day for the whole time
if he’s going out for a shoot, you and jungkook are the most essential so jin could take his off for that one
if jimin’s free and he’s just lazing around, then jin stays and it could jungkook’s off
it’s under rules that atleast one stays with jimin!!! it was easy to hang around with but the three of you needed to learn the others’ job
jungkook’s given the both of you an intensive course on how to drive jimin’s cars and nOT be intimidated to how any damage that would be done is gonna be more expensive than anything you’ve ever bought in your whole life!! 
teached how to sweep away people would sometimes get too close and the trick was to keep one arm on jimin and the other fURIOUSLY waving away while you keep his head down and have the most stoic face ever
he also gave you and jin a swiss army knife to keep on you because u never know amirite
jin taught you and jungkook how to not burn the kitchen down
made a list to what jimin doesn’t exactly like on his food and to how there’s a formula to what meals he prepares for him in the exact needs before a shoot or summat; such as being filled and not looking bloated!!
also taught to how you should keep your cool when jimin shoves his phone to your face excitedly about this recipe for a dessert too early in the morning
jin and jungkook still can’t get the hang of your job
it was busy and all over the place
you were in your own flat and kook and jin were left with jimin
it was just a quick shoot and the brand had it all taken care of the last time so you cashed in your break and just let them handle it
jin was very confused??? like do you just stand here the whole time????
jimin was filling him in to what you usually did
“this is the part where y/n-”
“oHHHH okay okay that’s easy!!”
no
it was not easy
jungkook was not helping
“hYUNG i’m doing something!! i’m a bodyguard!! my job is to protect jimin!!”
“wHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?? are you protecting jimin from the hairdryer?? or are you protecting him from the straightener?? eXACTLY now help me do y/n’s job!!!”
at the next day you came back, they never underestimated your job eVER
“it was the equivalent of gordon ramsay calling that chef an idiot sandwich :((((”
“i would rather take another intense yoga class than to take your job :((”
same as jimin’s job descriptions, yours were also all over the place
you become what he needs you to be
although that sounds really cheesy :D
jimin is already famous enough as it is for being jimin
he’s known for being his parents’ only child 
and it just so happened that his parents are insanely famous and rich too
his first shot at fame was when his parents were like “ok!!! let’s put in our baby for this baby commercial he’s the perfect fit for it uWU”
all he did was become baby jimin and all he did back then was babble and crawl and drool over himself and then suddenly it was the first peak to mr. and mrs. park’s son and he already has evERYONE wrapped around his tiny pinky
no one ever wants to live that baby commercial down
he wants everyone to collectively forget that it even happened
he’s made the three of you pinky-promise to not eVER watch it nor search nor even breathe in the direction of that course
curiosity ate the three of you because now more than ever you all wANTED to watch it
you and jin and kook pretend to never have watched it :)
jungkook has to resist a squeal every time he sees jimin’s hand reaching out for him 
jin keeps himself from cooing because sometimes he wants to put a spoon to jimin’s mouth just to recreate that baby food scene
anyways 
jimin’s jobs are all over the place!!
most times he’s a model for various luxury brands
he sometimes has minor roles in shows and movies and boom views iMMEDIATELY spike up and his scene would be the most talked-about scene in said media
you remember that he did this cameo once and he appeared for like five seconds
the amount of money he got for it was insane!!!!
jimin just down-played it bc you’re to one who accepted the envelope because he was over in another set talking to the director and while you’re kind of rigid he’s become :D “aHa ignore that pls do u want ice cream”
he has these collaborations too both in fashion and jewelry that he takes really seriously
the only fields he hasn’t dabbled in yet was music and dance
god you really want to see that
you’re sure that he’s probably gonna hit home-run with it too because jimin was just naturally great and gifted at things :(((
he was so effortless
like the way he’s moving right now with this silk shirt on him and these embroidered and fit golden pants and even has the photographer sWOONING 
jungkook’s nodding earnestly with his arms crossed as the both of you watch jimin by the sidelines
“can u believe that we work for a multi-millionaire”
that part never sinks in either
there’s much respect and awe in between your respective work relationships with jimin!!!
he’s kind and sweet aND he could be a brat sometimes but he can get told off :D
“a multi-millionaire who i argued with this morning about to whether the cHICKEN OR THE EGG CAME FIRST”
these banters between the two,,, christ
“are u gonna have that argument every time jin cooks eggs for breakfast”
...
one of them can spot a single thing and have an argument ensued in the next second
jimin once saw a yellow gummy bear and said “look!! it’s a lemon one!!” and kook was like “lmao nO how much you wanna bet it’s banana”
???? jungkook was a dummy for that one
passing the time while jimin’s on his shoots are quite entertaining
apparently being linked to park jimin has its perks and advantages
a crew member saw the both of you standing so of cOURSE you’re immediately being offered seats :D
to be entirely honest, ever since you received the jimin’s crew treatment, you and kook wordlessly tried to dress better when accompanying him to things like these
jungkook must’ve been looking extra broody and extra fashionable today with his all-black outfit once again but this time he was wearing something more figure-forming
even added some silver hoops for a nice touch and he’s eternally thankful that jimin allowed having multiple piercings in for the job because what’s it gonna do?? slow down jungkook when he needs to throw a punch?? aHA he doesn’t think so
must’ve been looking so f i n e that someone approaches to where the both of you are sitting
“are you the new model?? why are you sTILL here go to hair and makeup right now!!!”
jungkook has logged off and you swear you could hear a microsoft xp shutting down
thankfully you step in and speak for a speechless gguk who’s buring his face in your neck before he gets whisked away by the now sheepish crew member
he is BLUSHING
he’s placing himself to be as tiny as possible as he squishes himself to your figure
jungkook’s speaking in tiny text rn
he is giggling and squealing and he is practically burning in flattery
the chair he’s sitting on looks like it was gonna collapse with how he’s moving like a worm sprinkled in salt
“yAAAaA what’s happening???”
jimin just finished that portion of the shoot and the first thing that greets him is a withering jungkook cuddling (???) to you puts a bad taste to his mouth
he’s holding jungkook’s face up in genuine concern but also to keep his face out from your thighs :((((
“he got mistakened for a model”
at your answer he immediately sQUEALS again in the fresh memory as he’s giggling away from jungkook’s grasp and back again to your neck as he’s trying to calm himself down
the situation is amusing and even more-so jungkook’s reaction
jimin doesn’t find it amusing as much though
why are you letting kook nuzzle to you :((((
not that he cares or anything :D
not that it affects him in a way or something :D
you finally get kook to calm down because there are now inquiring stares at the both of you and u need to put a straight face on
you are the PA of the well-respected park jimin you nEED to keep your composure
jimin needs to keep his cool on the other hand :)
he’s gonna ignore his feelings for now because putting things aside until it bit him in the ass is his specialty!!
that’s why he has you as his personal assistant for!!
“y/n can u pls put in putting aside my feelings for you in next year’s schedule?”
“putting aside my feelings for you; next year!! sure thing wAIT WHAT”
he hates confrontation so much 
jimin doesn’t care if everyone else is basically scared if they’re confronted by him because hE’S afraid of them too
again, that’s why he has you!! for confrontation!! one whisper to what he feels about a particular thing and you’re immediately voicing out “mr. park doesn’t-...”
he’s okay now
already once again subdued these confusing and blooming feelings of his
:D
one of the great things that came with this job is that the amount of PR packages jimin receives is bottomless
jimin’s used to having all things to himself because he was an only child and hehe he normally isn’t used to sharing
but he is now!!!
unboxing all the packages he gets is now a bonding task for the four of you
jimin however gets first dibs to pick the packages that catch his eye and those that invoke no enthusiasm at all is left for the three of you
“your turn!!” was basically signal for you and jin and kook to elbow at each other to grasp boxes all of you have been eyeing for quite some time now
quite aware that you all look unicivilized but that’s been normalized at this point when jimin asked the three of u to open his packages with him; something he’s nEVER done before
he’s generous too
most times he gets sent the same stuff twice and sometimes even more
you particularly remember that time when jimin opened a box from gucci and meh it was the same shirt he had
“here u can have this kookie!! we have the same size i think :D”
“m-me???? you’re giving this to mE????”
needless to say there were tears and some hugs shared and that’s become a regular thing now for all these things jimin gets for free
jimin’s done a favor for this cooking show that was good but was declining on ratings and ever since his appearance, the show was basically saved
ever since then, he gets sent atleast twice a week of cooking and baking equipment 
seokjin was so near to tears when jimin said that he should get everything he gets sent cooking-wise and then some because he’d benefit more from it
“jimin u little brat i LOVE YOU :’‘‘)”
a whole-ass grill was sent one time and it was expensive as frick as what jin explained
he was too excited that he set up the grill at 10 in the evening
everyone narrates what they’ve opened up
“jimin-hyung u hAVE THE MATCHING JACKET TO THIS omg it’s gonna look so good”
“more snacks!!! omg i can pack them for u in these nEW lunchboxes!!”
and this is what jimin likes because he can clearly tell that you aren’t taking advantage of him nor opportunities like these
there’s no hidden agenda, no bluffs, no half-assed compliments to get him 
his heart feels especially content god he goes soft for things like these
if it’s a duplicate of what he already has or if he isn’t much of a fan, you can have it!!
if no one wants it, you could just wrap it up and he can give it as a gift to the people he works with!!
if it’s makeup, you’re all gonna sHARE and if it isn’t in your shade then you’re out the table as a contender to who gets it!!
if it’s jimin opening up the red compact cartier box to see this beautiful thing for a necklace
the necklace that’s a part of the cartier caresse d'orchidées line and ithe box is just sitting snugly on his hands and it literally makes him gasp and makes his heart awe at the sight
so much so that you stop trying to get to open this complicated parcel that can’t be opened with a cutter, and jin and jungkook stopping in trying to pry it open do the same as they stop
“what is it??”
jimin smiles brightly that his eyes disappear and you visibly grin at the sight of him :(((
wordlessly he’s standing up from his own pile
jungkook’s sweeping away the japanese paper and the dustbags and everything else in the way because jimin’s a bit clumsy and he doesn’t want him to slip ok
he’s walking himself to you wearing the sweetest smile on his face!!!
you are not falling
spoiler alert because you have already fallen
jimin’s crouching at your position on the floor and is already in a squat and before you get more confused, he tips the box to your eyesight, a slight gasp escaping your lips
“that’s so pretty!!”
jin and kook are internally screaming because they’re not blind to the mutual pining you have for each other ok
they’re not blind but it seems like the bOTH of you are
they don’t wanna intrude at this new moment in front of them but they’re also very curious to what’s happening judging by the way their necks are outstretched and how kook’s punching at jin’s shoulders in anticipation
jimin merely hums as agreement
hehe is it just you or does it feel like it’s only the two of you in this room right now or is like the airconditioning busted??? there’s this sudden piercing gaze he has on you???? and-
you feel your hair being swept to the side carefully and following almost immediately was the cool feeling of this thin chain on your neck
wait
wait what
“jimin!!!”
“y/n.”
he’s just calmly replying to the confused and almost worried calls to his name
you don’t know how you’re going to register this
the chain went a bit low and jimin’s wordlessly adjusting the pendant to sit at the center of your chest 
his fingers just bARELY glides to the exposed bit of your skin because you aren’t exactly wearing a turtleneck for bed
“thought of you when i saw this :D”
and it’s true
he really did think of you the moment he opened the box
it’s dawning into you now and the fact that oh my god this was a cARTIER necklace and it’s expensive and it’s sitting on your neck and jimin just did tHAT
“jimin i-i can’t accept this, y’know?? it was sent to you and it’s not for me, really!! also it’s too expensive and i really don’t-...”
he gets to pull a reverse uno card for you on that one
“technically, it’s free right? just got sent to me.”
:))))))
he sees you speechless
you only used that line for the snacks and the gummies he got in the packages that you most definitely could buy out from your own pocket
NOT FOR A CARTIER NECKLACE
jimin’s grinning at you and you look at a lost and defeated puppy who’s about to blubber
he shrugs like no big deal and before he goes back to his pile, he ruffles your hair for good measure and eVEN pinches your cheek
“keep it, jagi.”
did he just like mumble that line
did he just
did jimin just call you jagi
jagi
did your soul just ascend to heaven or-
ok that is most definitely jungkook pushing you and jin choking you but gently,, because the necklace madame,,, over what they just saw
jimin’s just smiling to himself like none of that didn’t happen
and the only thing keeping you sane (and the same time delirious) that all of this is happening is the bit of expensive proof hanging by your neck and at the though you instinctively run your thumb over the pendant
you will really d-word right now tho
the things is
it was hard not to fall for jimin
you really fought now to view him in the way the general media did because that can’t be to all he is, right?? :((
and god you’re so glad that you didn’t let your thoughts precede the way you viewed him
jimin may be materialistic and bratty at times
could be real inconsiderate sometimes too
but he was actively and consciously trying!! he may not admit it now but the way that you didn’t tolerate his bullshit and that someone actually says no to him was almost empowering and eye-opening
he has an actual personality!!! he is genuine and he cares!!! 
jimin is so much more and it just so happened that he was born into a pedestal with a golden spoon on his mouth
he didn’t choose to be born into this more than privileged lifestyle and he recognizes that!! makes him somehow guilty and he’s always trying to give whenever he can 
sucks because some people think that he’s being this way to gain him some publicity
he means every single thought he has for these things he advocates for!!!
he has this charisma and star factor with him and it was undeniable in everything he does
he’s intelligent and not air-headed!!! 
ok he may not know basic chores or how to work a washing machine until now but he’s trying his best!! 
and you love him for that
love
who said that
aha :D
maybe this is the same ghost that said jimin-hyung
that couldn’t be you :D
it was hard not to get consumed by your thoughts and feelings when you’re practically with jimin around the clock
can’t help thinking that this is probably you’re closest shot at domestic life because god if you were an official couple then this means you’re living in tOGETHER
you’re just a personal assistant!!
you need to get that into your head 
also you need to get into your head that there’s urgent knocking on your door and it got you so nervous that your heart probably fell to your ass as you were jolted awake
“jimin?”
a sweaty-looking jimin jolts as soon as you open the door and he’s sQUEEZING himself in to fit in the gap between you and the door
“aHAAA hi y/n!!” :D
he immediately sits himself by the end of your bed and god he looks so relieved the moment he set his hands down your comforter
too relieved that he didn’t notice that this was almost intimate
too relieved that he didn’t even see you snatching a random hoodie so quick because you for sure weren’t wearing a bra aha
he’s smiling up back at you as he’s still catching his breath
“.,..,.,. jimin this is the part where u explain why you’re here”
...
...
“...,,.,. there was a spider in my room,.,.,.”
he was sO terrified because it was intimidatingly huge
huge is relative but god it must’ve been the size of his palm and that is tOO big for a spider
goddamn it he was just about to apply his toner that he left by his bedside table and the spider just HAD to exist by the wall behind it
he ran out so fucking fast it was like he totally didn’t yelp at all
that must’ve been the sound of how quick his feet moved 
you thought it would be more of a life-threatening emergency that isn’t caused by a spider
you’re just gonna be relaxed and comfortable as if you and jimin aren’t in your bedroom :D
“can u kill it for me pls”
“lol no”
even the thought of a household spider and their obscenely long legs and the way they moved is enough to make you shudder
“want me to wake up kook to take it out for you?”
jungkook the bodyguard is mighty scared too but he has nO choice because after all his job is to protect jimin
even if it’s from a paper cut or a spider
that’s actually a good idea
an even better idea pops into jimin’s head though :D
“aish i don’t wanna wake him up :(((”
is jimin stretching right now
is he-
is he yawning on cue 
and is jimin swiftly getting under your covers right now
god he’s so smart but in the same time so nERVOUS
are you seeing right now the way he’s trembling nervously at his nonchalant attitude??
he even pOINTS to the light switch that needs to be turned off
“good night, y/n!!!”
he doesn’t mind the way your bed’s smaller than his
doesn’t mind the way that the comforter he has over his body isn’t as weighted or isn’t as luxurious as the one he has on his room
doesn’t mind that he can’t spritz that line spray that helps make him sleep because this isn’t exactly his room
it doesn’t matter at all because the only thing his mind is on is the fact that you’ve climbed into bed too
that you didn’t say anything else and yielded to the fact that he wanted to sleep here because there was a spider in his room
god you’d do anything for him
you’re whipped
even more whipped than the dalgona jin makes as breakfast coffee and he has that mastered to the T
good thing the lights are already turned off or else you’d be outed for having your cheeks heating up
jimin doesn’t need a light to know that
and there aren’t any words needed either to know that sharing a bed with you is something that fills jimin to the brim with contentment 
it’s not even dirty thoughts it’s wARM FUZZY THOUGHTS
the prior is something he’s shoving to the back of his head because now is not the time to have a hard-on when he’s sharing a bed with you oKAY
his thoughts are so noisy
why cant he just be !! no thoughts, head empty !! right now like every other time he is genuinely about to fREAK out
feels you shift and he immediately freezes because oh god was he moving too much?? y’know what he’s not gonna move at all like he’s sleeping in your bed he’s the guest he should be bEHAVED!! matter of fact he shouldn’t even breathe who tf does jimin think he is for causing you trouble i mean-
“night, jagi :)”
oh huh
oMG DID YOU JUST CALL HIM JAGI
jimin swears he can evaporate happily right now 
he even giggles at it!!!
here u were thinking you were being  𝖇𝖔𝖑𝖉  for calling him jagi and all he had to do was giggle and nOW you’re outbested once again
needless to say that that was the soundest and most fulfilling sleep jimin’s ever had in a long time
he wakes up and uhm you weren’t there????
he wasn’t cuddling to you, was he??
spoiler alert: he was indeed cuddling you unconsciously
you’ve been jimin’s PA for so long now that your body clock adjusts to whatever schedule he has for the next day
and today was a free day for him!! and you wanted to sleep in!!
even burrowing deeper to hug that particularly fluffy and good pillow you have
aha that is most definitely not your pillow :D
you were in-between the state of still being sleepy and being aware of the things that are happening around you 
you aren’t a big fan of spiders
and the fact that you just remembered jimin slept in your room and on your bed because of the fact that there was a spider in his room and he didn’t want to bother anyone at that time of the evening to take it out
and just decided to take residency in your bed for the night
the same jimin who has his head propped up on your pillow higher than yours did, with his whole leg weighing your lower body down and his arm loose yet snugly fit on your waist
with his eyes closed and pillowy lips plump 
and this urge to wake him up intentionally because his morning voice,,.,..,, his morning voice
aha but maybe that spider knew what it was doing :D
you are not falling, and you most definitely have self-control!!!
those are lies
it physically pained you to count to three before trying to untangle yourself from jimin because you wanted to EMBRACE him like what he’s doing right now but with you being awake
he goes down the stairs with much more purpose
only jin is downstairs and you’re still not here?? :(
jin was about to finish making these obscenely fluffy pancakes that take so long to cook but eh he’s like whatever since he woke up early this morning
and also he needs to up is breakfast game because jungkook intimidated him when he won you over with the breakfast burrito he made on a whim as a competition between the two of them
jin wants everyone to know that he is the best cook in this house and he’s still huffy about it if he’s being honest
he’s gonna forgive you and your horrible taste and poor decision-making skills but he swears :) one more time that you pick jungkook’s cooking over his :) whether you’re being genuine or just wanting to get a rise out of him :) he’s gonna cook you stale noodles for every meal for the rest of your days that he cooks as you work for jimin :)
where are you though :((
aha he’s hearing your steps on the stairs right now and he’s certain that they belonged to you!! he’s trying to look as nonchalant as possible with his back turned on the staircase
“JIMIN-HYUNG!!”
ok he’s looking for you and not for an oversized buff bunny bounding at him
“i got kook to take out the spider from your room!!”
oh that’s your voice alright
he’s just humming as you and kook take your seats in these barstools he specifically bought since you all take genuine enthusiasm in watching jin cook and in annoying him
he’s hearing you and kook take turns in droning off about the spider and wait
does this mean he doesn’t have anymore reason to sleep in your room anymore??
:(((
how about if he just uses the excuse that the spider jungkook took out actually left a family behind
and now there’s just a family of spiders in his room and jimin being the generous man that he is, gave up the room for them and with that, your room is now his room!! :D
will you buy that though
will anybody
absolutely: no one
he’s still a bit pouty because he still doesn’t know if he was cuddling to you last night
aha and you feel awkward in letting him know that he did
what jimin doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?? :D
jungkook has his free day today and he’s gonna spend the entirety of it shopping!! he’s gonna come home here later on since it’s been ages when he came home to his own place and lol no he isn’t ready to clean up that place
and also since jimin’s sweetly emphasized that his home is your home too and you would always be welcome!!!
“i’m bored :((”
jimin says for the tenth time in the past half-hour
the only thing he’s been doing is laying his head on your shoulder as you do your work
he’s never really gotten your whole scheduling process even after this whole time but he’s gotten more aware and more confused at the past ten minutes
you’re copying and writing down past and future schedules in your planner from your phone so you could have both a physical and digital copy
“i don’t get why you’re still writing down my schedules. i bought you an ipad for work. you have your work phone too. i mean -- oh my god you don’t have a smartwatch!! oh god why didn’t i think of that??”
he’s launching himself into a rant of how he hasn’t bought you a smartwatch and that he owes you that much since he puts a lot on your plate and that would help ease your work
even before he pulls out his phone to order one asap, he hears you just barely mumble while you’re still nose-deep into what you’re doing
“because you bought me this notebook.”
oh
uhm
is that adoration in his eyes
jimin even forgot that he bought you this planner in the first place
you remember him giving it to you when he came home from his friends’ trip abroad with taehyung and hoseok!!
you never really got to know them properly since whenever they go out, jimin insists that you stay at home since they don’t have their PAs with them either
and from what you know, taehyung and hoseok are also insanely rich :D
as from what jin knows too, their parents are all friends and they’re like a part of this compact wealthy and well-known group of families and that the three of them have been childhood friends ever since
you were kinda confused when he gave you a paper bag with multiple notebooks and planners
because sir?? i already have a work phone and a work ipad?? wHO has the time to write in planners when you work for park jimin???
his very simple answer that got through your heart was:
“i don’t know either. just remembered you when i saw these so i bought them.”
and you wanted to melt on the spot
you got around to using them!! and as you realized physical copies could also be really helpful since what if your devices died or were hacked or maybe something wrong just happened!! you still have a physical copy
and besides you want to keep track of them so one day you could give them to jimin like
“here are years worth of planners and the things you did like wOW you just get more fully-booked each day and you’ve accomplished so many things pls jimin pls take these”
“cool cool cool cool”
jimin tries not to grin over that one but it’s hard not to combust over your sentiment 
he’s distracting himself by peering at what you’re writing
“i’m going grocery shopping today????”
lol the confusion in his voice is enough to break you out of your focused spell
“no i’m going grocery shopping. i combine my schedule with your schedule sometimes. this is our planner jimin.,.,., the one that’s purely for yours is on that other notebook”
our planner
goddamn it is seokjin cutting onions extremely close to jimin’s eyes right now
tries his best to ignore these fluttering feelings because it’s like you’re nOT EVEN TRYING TO MAKE HIM FLUSTERED
and if you were, you’re so effortless and he’s over here about to bust a lung because he’s trying not to breathe and therefore not giggle
“then let’s go grocery shopping.”
your eyes widen
is jimin
is park jimin going to go grocery shopping
"take me with you in your errand!! :D”
he repeats again because he sees the sheer confusion in your face
i mean what could go wrong!!!
uh yeah you’re pretty sure he hasn’t been in an actual grocery store like probably ever and he wouldn’t know what to get
“... are you sure about that jimin.,.,,”
“yeah it’s gonna be fun oMG i’m gonna take a shower now bye!!!”
this chore is mostly split to you and jin; him with everything food-related and you with the necessities!! it was fun because honestly? doing it was fun
maybe the fact that the two of you are given bottomless cards to do so since this was done for the sake of jimin anyway but besides that, it doesn’t feel like a chore at all
jimin has an array of cars and less driving skills if you were being honest 
yes he can drive but he’s not very good at it :D
and jimin lends any of you his cars whenever you need them for personal use -- always insists that any of you don’t take public transport when you’re gonna go home (which is rare) or basically go anywhere even outside when you’re not working for him when you could perfectly be at ease and in safety in the comfort of his cars
he fully convinced you when he said the fact that “yA uhm you do know that you’re all kinda known now for being associated with me right,.,, safety reasons, right,...,.,” and he gets worried ok
since kook is off and he was the bodyguard slash driver, you’re in charge for that now 
you’re dropping off jin in this supreme grocery store that has pretty much everything
everything except processed comfort food like mozzarella sticks and cheap god-tier ramyeon so you’re the one who buys those in your grocery store
one that’s ordinary compared to jin’s
and has ordinary people shopping in it 
and has a counter or seven that isn’t working
and has a tub of yogurt probably somewhere in the toiletries aisle 
because this was an ordinary grocery store and it doesn’t have each and every employee kind nor immediately putting back yogurt from the toiletries aisle back to the fridge 
because this is an ordinary grocery store :)
jimin’s in the back waving jin off enthusiastically and he’s kind of lingering looking at the rearview mirror because you’re not stepping on the pedal just yet
...
“you don’t wanna sit in the front?”
“nO I ABSOLUTELY WANT TO THANK U FOR ASKING I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME HEHE ANYWAYS”
can jimin just say
that he is in very much deep thought
he’s looking at you every few minutes just to let it sink in
that oh my god y/n is driving my car right now
my PA y/n is driving my mercedes s-class cabriolet 
my y/n is driving my mercedes s-class cabriolet and i’m so here for it
lol woah there who said that in jimin’s subconscious
who said that he can’t help imagining you driving it and the both of you doing groceries but this time you’re not his PA and he’s not your boss, but instead an actual couple that-
this goddamn ghost
damn ghost who called him jimin-hyung and then jagi can now invade his mind and plant these thoughts that’s making him yearn uncharacteristically smh
“wear your mask, jimin”
you’re prodding at him to wear it already before you leave the car and even make him wear the bucket hat for good measure just so he wouldn’t attract unnecessary attention
the car isn’t exactly the best car for you to be lowkey with hehe
jimin’s probably gonna get recognized anyway :(
you’re internally preparing yourself to kinda hover around jimin and look stoic and say “important business” whilst doing groceries
aha did jimin just immediately take his mask off the moment you step foot 
“.,.,,, it’s not like -- is it just me or is the air here a bit thinner than the grocery store jin shops at?”
:D
“nope. it’s really just like this :)”
“oh oh i wanna do it!!”
he says as soon as you take a cart and he’s waving grabby hands at you before he just pauses because uh 
is it just him?? or is like the handle supposed to be this color but it looks foggy and it’s not supposed to look like that color in the first place??
oh you’re already wiping down the handle of the pushcart before you take it
“no it’s ok it’s clean now hehe let me take this one y/n!!”
well then
you have a list and you’re at the end of the cart pulling at it to direct jimin where to go because it’s very clear that this is his first time
he keeps gasping every ten seconds while being very distracted
“are you sure we don’t need anymore sponges?? because that ten-pack seems very tempting. they’re in dIFFERENT colors too omg!!! we don’t need more?? aha u know what i’m paying this from my own wallet aha we need them”
“i didn’t know red cups were sold this many and this cheap let’s buy like five of these packs :D”
“yOOOOOO buy five take five of these sodas!! jungkook likes these right??? LET’S GET IT”
“this is such a big pack of ziplocks omg omg i can like use them when we go to these shoots!! we have these already?? but do we have them in this dINOSAUR edition tho???? no? that’s right”
“this is the biggest bottle of body wash i have ever seen in my life!! and it’s like so cheap!! wait i’m searching and yA it’s loved by 93 out of 100 people!!! i’m gonna be the 94th”
you didn’t expect this reaction
didn’t expect this completely perplexed yet amazed jimin who is amazed at mundane and ordinary things and honestly???? your heart tugs at the sight even when jimin’s holding up a three-pack of baby wipes saying “this is the bEST deal ever” before excitedly putting it in the cart
even at the bagging process he was very excited to see how things stacked up
at one point he even asks if he could pack some of the groceries down into the paper bags and when the cashier agreed and the bagger was confused yet agreed at the same time, jimin smiled so hARD
“you should take me with you every time you go get groceries :)”
“we’re not gonna get in front of the line every time because not every cashier would recognize you though”
“yeah bUT STILL”
there’s fondness just seeing jimin load up the trunk with groceries that he himself wanted to pick out
you needed to aid him a bit because he’s getting the unusual brand or forgetting something completely essential
and you just can’t help it!!!
“you did good today, jimin.”
aha aw really?? :)))))
you are killing him more and more as the day passes by and he hates it because you’re completely slick and effortless and god what does he have to do to make you fLUSTERED about pulling moves on him
“where do we go now though?”
“if it’s after my grocery run or if it’s after my grocery run but with you???”
“lol just pretend i’m not here this is yOUR day anyway”
there is this one place
that ramen place
that ramen place that’s a little restaurant and is located into the outskirts of the city and eating there for the first time was one of the days in your life that you felt the luckiest
you were getting a little bit lost going back to your dorm one night because the building was new and you just moved in then and you were hUNGRY from not having eaten lunch and it’s gonna be like 7 in the evening soon enough
and u know what you were ready to settle in to this only slightly sketchy looking place that has neon lights for a sign but the inside is bRIGHTLY-LIT but in the same time the inside has some faint lighting of pink and
ok there’s some customers by the corner aha you’re convinced that this is is an actual resstaurant and not a cover-up for some underground sketchy business :)
you could also ask for directions!! a double whammy you’ll take :D
and god
that was easily the best ramen you’ve ever had for such a reasonable price and you get so mUCH
didn’t skimp on the amount of noodles and the broth isn’t annoyingly salty!! the egg remained intact without it being tOO hard and it was in the perfect state!! the pork was tender without being irritatingly too chewy and was cooked to 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷
it was so good you may have had shed a tear or some
you literally did it was so gOOD
not only were you given directions to your dorm, but you were also given directions to the best ramen place to ever exist :D
that ramen place is literally the name of the ramen place lol
and then you met jin and jungkook
and then kook accompanied you in a grocery run early enough into your new jobs and you all still kinda haven’t had the hang of it
and god u know what
u trusted jungkook.,,.,
trusted him enough to give him the directions for that ramen place and he’s like??? y/n ur not planning to ditch me in the side of the road are you????
and he’s just mhmm-ing his way as he let you order for him since this was his first time and you clearly knew it better
when jungkook says that he went to heaven at his first slurp
he means it
jungkook means that with his whole heart
in the same time he wants to clear his bowl so quick because he just can’t get enough but in the sAME time he wants to take his time because good things shouldn’t be rushed
after the meal like not only is his stomach full but so is his heart
it was official
“y/n i want u to know that i eNTRUST you with my whole life like pls i don’t mind if u call the shots until the day i die i don’t care u hAVE my whole heart”
and then it was when you and jungkook came home and kook can’t stop talking about the ramen
seokjin was so annoyed and offended like wtf did u just cheat on me with this damn ramen place i am the CHEF here
“jin-hyung please you hAVE to try it”
“aha i would never :D”
but then the inevitable happens
you pick up jin from his grocery store after you were done with yours and successfully set him up for the both of you to eat in that ramen place
and it was too late when he realized
and he’s figured it out since every description jungkook has ever given about the food matched up perfectly
he was at a total loss for words
:O
“i want what they have :’’’’)”
and the moment the both of you came home he iMMEDIATELY got to work in trying to recreate it but he never came to the exact recipe :((
a bit bummed but he’s in peace that he doesn’t know the recipe (even if it irks him sometimes)
aha jin knows that he would be too powerful if he knew the recipe anyway :D 
he’d be probably immortal at that point so this was for the sake of everyone else’s pride and sanity at this point
you’re oddly protective of that ramen place and u can’t help ity
OU’VE EVEN MADE FRIENDS WITH THE OWNER
park seojoon is an incredibly sweet man and restaurateur and you would easily lay down your life for him no doubt
he striked up conversation with you after u came in there for like one week straight because you were just going through it and he’s getting concerned now because he’s never seen someone eat tempura with so much sad eagerness
and he only knew you as a regular customer but he kNEW that you were normally happier and not looking so gloomy and intimidating????
turns out that his business is relatively new and not many people would come in because it looked sketchy and he doesn’t have enough profit yet to make the place look so divine
so he thanked u for giving that ramen place a chance
aND BECAUSE u dragging in jungkook and jin and that people would pass by seeing that oh wait these people are eating and they look vERY pleased that turned into the point that he’s been getting more customers!!!!
in short you’re very selective of the people you decide to introduce to that ramen place and seojoon finds that endearing and amusing at the same time
and bringing in jimin to this place is something that means a lot to you and it’s just sO exciting that you get to bring him in this part of your life
the part that entails to you being y/n and not his PA that’s with him almost 24/7 tending to his needs!!!
seojoon’s whipping his head at the chiming bell and oMG IT’S YOU!!! IT’S BEEN A WHILE!!!!
“y/NNNNNNNN!!!! :D”
“sEOJOOOOOON!!!! :D”
there’s a very eager hug and it catches the attention of some patrons but they’re like oh wAIT isn’t that the y/n from the multiple polaroids on the wall
kinda takes jimin aback for a sec
uhm he thought that you were gonna take him to lunch because as per your words of “probably my most favorite meals in my life ever besides jin’s?? i eAT THEM HERE”??????
meals???
not unless.,.,..
nOT UNLESS YOUR MEALS AREN’T ACTUALLY-
“i just got done getting groceries for my boss and he’s here with me!! jimin-“ you’re grabbing him by the arm to get closer to you and seojoon because he clearly backed off when the both of you hugged, “this is park seojoon!! he’s the owner of this place!! seojoon, this is-...”
“park jimin, i know!! it’s an honor to meet you, mr. park :D”
seojoon very much knows who he is even before you told him out of the blue that you worked for him as a personal assistant
he promised you extra portions of cheesy tonkatsu as long as you tell him how jimin’s like because he’s a bit of a fan of his work and all :)
he has his hand outreached and god you don’t know why but jimin’s suddenly buffering
kinda just gazes at the hand and you had to nudge him discreetly with your shoe tapping his
...
“.... nice to meet you too, mr. park.”
:)
:)
“oKAY let’s sit down in the booth!!!”
“yES good idea y/n!! you and jimin should get seated like right now aha!! good thing because i always put a reserved sign in there in case you and jin and kook decide to pop in all of a sudden :)”
jimin’s sitting across you and there’s this look on his face
oh god you know that face
maybe you’re just overthinking it
you already know what you’re ordering but you pretend to still look at the menu just to disguise the fact that you’re trying to distinguish jimin’s expression
he looks a bit-
“do they uhm, do they serve anything else besides these?”
oh
seojoon’s expanded the menu generously compared to the first time you went here
you’re trying to understand because the menu doesn’t exactly have the gourmet fish fingers jimin orders as an appetizer that contained two skimpy ones with sauce swiped haphazardly on the plate
there isn’t exactly luxuriously roasted lamb skewers in the menu
nor does it serve vin chaud as a refreshment while you wait for your order
but it doesn’t make the place any less good because good is subjective
and in normal circumstances and unlike standard of people like jimin, this place was genuinely good
“the water they have here... does it uhm... does it come from the tap?”
...
“no.”
you’re gonna try and keep a positive outlook on this because you know what?? maybe jimin’s just a bit tired to enjoy this new experience :)
“but don’t worry anyways! i brought with me your water! both the water and the iced coffee”
you’re already fishing through the tote bag you carry around when you’re out with jimin (your initials are embroidered with one strap and his in the other!!)
actually these are all your ideas
it was in your first month of working for him that you noticed jimin just like drinking in general
whether it’s water or orange juice or iced coffee and maybe even those fruity sugary drinks that has coconut jelly in them and of course beer
jimin atleast makes you fetch water for him about five times within a day and you have to hold onto plastic bottles until you see a recycling bin
then u had this genius idea
how about you gift jimin one of those hydroflasks because not only is it more eco-friendly but aLSO you don’t have to run to the nearest catering table or convenience store!!!
was it in the more expensive spectrum for water bottles? yes
but gODDAMN the pride you felt was insurmountable when you gave it to jimin
“y/n? water please.”
“aha sure mr. park here you go :D”
wait lol that’s relatively quick
then jimin’s eyes (and hands) land on this 21 oz army green hydroflask filled with cold water and if u wiggle it you could sTILL hear the ice clonking because it was still intact
he’s kind of perplexed
did this water bottle come with the water or????
“don’t worry sir!! i bought that for you!! it’s clean and new!! it’s yours, mr. park :D”
that touched his HEART
he may have dropped it once so lol you’re that whipped for him so you bought the rubberized sleeve, that it u may add is also tOO expensive for rubber that covered only a quarter of the bottle
it’s ok it’s for jimin
you’re bringing said hydroflask out now!!
even bringing out the tiny baby hydroflask (you bought him one the very next month because he liked it so much and he’s so happy with the original one) with iced coffee in case jimin wants variety
you could pull out a thousand more things from your bag to appease jimin
his expensive hand lotion that smelled of vanilla and coffee beans
his nintendo switch you carry around that he barely plays with but seeing it makes him happy
your work phone that contained emails from brand representatives and that they would have something sent over
you have more materials but none of it could shake off this noticeable frown in jimin’s face you’re so willing to try and ignore
one that looked like disgust
“i’m just gonna go to the counter to pay for our orders.”
jimin’s eyes narrow at that
don’t the waiters here come to your table and list down your orders so you don’t have to move a single inch because after all, this was a dine-in???
he feels so out of touch now that you’re over the counter
he’s definitrly feeling more glances from like the four people eating here that are starting to recognize him
the booths aren’t that spacious and the foam in the cushions isn’t heavenly comfortable to sink into
the table is a bit sticky and there’s a faint residual smell of lemon-scented multi-purpose cleaner
these pendant lights are too plain like why even bother with a pendant light if it’s just like every other boring light fixture
no ambient music in the background either
jimin is so out of it if you can’t tell by now
you’re coming back to your booth with your table number and he snorts to himself at that
there isn’t else who’s ordering wHY would you even need a table number
you heard that
clearly heard that
“... y’okay, jimin?”
“i’m fine.”
he’s not even gonna rest his forearms on the table
he should lean back and oh wait no he can’t :D
there’s this uncomfortable silence that’s so sudden and you don’t wanna partake in it because what happened to the jimin in the grocery store??
“why are we here?”
you were clearly not expecting that question
didn’t he tell you that you call the shots today and he’s just gonna tag along?
“you’re given a limitless credit card to attend to my needs and — does this place even take credit cards?”
you don’t like how soft-spoken yet condescending jimin’s tone is right now
nor his choice of words
and to how you feel so ridiculed with just the way he’s starting
seojoon arrives with your food and was about to crack a joke but uh your face is hung low and your fists are clenching and unclenching?? ok maybe next time
keeping this in is very hard
you’re gonna ignore that :)
you’re fishing for the metal case of jimin’s premium wooden chopsticks without a word
ok
you’re gonna keep your emotions together, sat your food, go home, and try to be understanding of jimin all throughout
it’s actually going along very well
pretending that jimin isn’t even here and instead savoring in the ramen you haven’t eaten for more or less a month because of jimin’s busy schedule and therefore your busy schedule
you missed this so much
omg seojoon definitely put more noodles in there he is a national treasure
you’re keeping your cool actually and-
“are you playing a prank on me, y/n? it’s not funny anymore.”
he’s half-whining and half-pissed
still hasn’t had one taste of his ramen
“i agreed to let you pick because i thought we were going to a real restaurant.”
christ
you are most certain now that trying to looking unfazed is what you’re failing miserably at as of the moment
“not a hole-in-the-wall type of ramen joint that’s cramped and has laminated hand-written numbers for table number.”
god you so badly want to explode
beyond offended and hurt because even seojoon and his place he worked tirelessly on is being slandered for a completely selfish reason
and that this whole thing is being twisted to you as if you didn’t ask him a million times is he was sURE of this
“and y/n, you know i don’t go to these types of places! i don’t-...”
“then we’re leaving.”
you’re not even halfway done eating
the excitement you harbored for wanting to be in this place in the first place has long been displaced
jimin’s sitting there in shock because he really didn’t expect that
he didn’t know what end result he was looking for
but you being actually mad at him and standing up and leaving so quickly through the door that you didn’t even wait for him was the eventual result
he’s sputtering to himself and he’s walking outside the restaurant with his head hung low
are you mad at him??
in his defense he was just speaking the truth
but that doesn’t mean shit now does it
he’s wordlessly climbing into the front seat of his car that you’ve already started because fUCK are you so mad and sad at the same time
jimin’s kinda worrying that he might’ve took that far
he’s sneaking looks at you and you’re stone-cold and he doesn’t even get a side-eye in response
he should be as stubborn as you were being now but he thinks that he might not be in the right position for that
you’re so silent and he’s fiddling with his rings and eVEN in stoplights you just keep your gaze trained to the road and nothing else
jimin realizes that oh
you’ve pulled up to his usual restaurant
his usual restaurant that had valet service and staff that would let him in even without a prior reservation
oh
he’s kind of hovering by the main door and you’re not beside him but rather behind, your position stiff and guarded with your arms crossed across your chest
you’re being jungkook right now instead of y/n
god you’re still boiling
you’ve never had this much determination to drive to this high-end ramen place that jimin earnestly likes and as you’ve figured his only standard that he’s compared seojoon’s place to
he doesn’t know how to react to how you reacted either
he didn’t expect to be eating lunch right now in one of his favorite restaurants with you sat across him but in guilt-tripping circumstances
jimin doesn’t know what to do with himself :(
he knows what to order and he knows what your order would be from here since this isn’t the first time you’ve accompanied him
even tried asking you if what you want to order in a timid voice but you didn’t even meet his gaze
still said your order to the waiter and he sneaks a look to see on how you would’ve reacted to it but again
there’s still none
guilt is practically eating jimin from the inside out at this point
he’s eating in front of you and he still feels guilty to do so because in the other hand
you refuse to even look at the meal in front of you that’s going cold
knows for a fact that you LOVE the red iced tea here even if he tells you repeatedly that it’s too sweet and the fact that it’s always served cold won’t help with it bUT NOW you’re not even casting a single glance to it
you don’t budge not even until he settles the bill and his eyes aren’t on you
gets your food wrapped up for take-out and normally drinks can’t be but they always make an exception for jimin
he’s holding it himself and you’re just trailing behind him again
even until you get handed the keys and drive jimin home
there’s no interaction whatsoever
even the radio he’s turned on doesn’t help because you’re not uttering a single word to him
you get home and jimin’s lingering by the driveway as he sees you lugging the groceries in your hands without making it obvious that you’re dYING to leave again so you could pick up jin
“i’m -- i’ll help.”
he says as input and he thought that would atleast get a small smile from you
aha there is none
he’s taking out paper bags from your hands and you let him
just turn your back on him and go back to the trunk and get some more
he’s purposely slowing his pace getting into the door so you’d trail behind him and maybe atleast nudge at him to fasten his pace because what you’re carrying is particularly heavy
yOU’RE STILL SILENT
and then there are no more groceries left and jimin’s frowning at that because wHAT he was just about to actually speak to you 
you’re starting the car again and????
you’re leaving???
oh
he uhm
he thought he was going with you to pick up jin
:(
jin immediately knew something was wrong when you picked him up and helped him put in his groceries in the very limited trunk so you had to put some of them in the actual backseats wITHOUT ANY COMPLAINTS
he even bought cacao nibs to snack on and you just give a gentle smile to when he’s offered you one because normally you and him would’ve bickered now on who should hold the bag for safekeeping
“y/n baby are u like,,,, ok”
“yeah i’m all ok :D”
“oh ok :D”
he smiles at that
might he remind you that he is nOT booboo the fool :(((
he doesn’t wanna prod in just yet and he doesn’t wanna invade ur bubble by asking you what’s wrong upfront
he’s just gonna invade it every once and then when he shoves a nib to your mouth to munch on to atleast believe that he fell for your blatant lie and aha he’s just being goofy :)))
there is something definitely up
jimin greeted him wAY too enthusiastically
“JIN-HYUUUUUUNG!!! hi”
“hi brat :)”
there’s a look that falters in jimin’s face for a sec because oh god maybe you told jin
and the teasing nickname of brat is actually meant for real this time
he’s really panicked right now
he’s helping jin get out the food he’s bought and jin’s ????
this is the first time you’re helping me out fill in the pantries and the fridge???? i’m a chef not a nurse are you like rUNNING A FEVER RIGHT NOW???????
he keeps his mouth shut
jin isn’t oblivious to how jimin purposely kept messing up in organizing food because you’re also included in this organization thing as you always were
and the closest jimin’s ever got to an interaction was you wordlessly picking things up that he was messing over
he literally put frozen baby carrots into a cabinet full of pasta just to invoke a reaction and jin’s just inwardly laughing and cringing at his attempts lmao he’s going too far in making a fool out of himself
and to see you just picking up the baby carrots and putting them in the freezer made him frown
aTLEAST laugh at him for goddness’ sake
please
pls
say something
make fun of me
raise your voice at me for putting yogurt in the spice rack y/n just please
and tHEN there’s no food left
it’s a free day after all and jimin can’t materialize shit about things he needs you to do with or for him just so he could squeeze out a word or two
but then you coop yourself up in your room and jimin’s kinda lost being by himself when you normally hung out around him like second nature
it’s time for dinner and jungkook’s already come home by then with his arms full and his first question was “where’s y/n???”
then jin answers him and kook was like cool.,.,.., if u need me i’ll be in y/n’s room
maybe jimin is truly indeed losing his mind with this silent treatment
why is jungkook in your bedroom and why is it so easy for him to go to you while he’s here chickening out
probably because jungkook isn’t the one who’s made a mistake towards you and may have caused a slight scene awhile ago
maybe it’s because jungkook was being down-to-earth and isn’t a fucking brat like he realized he was being one awhile ago
:(((
it’s dinner time now and only jungkook was the one who came down the staircase and joined them in the dining table
which felt weird because you’re not sat beside him :(((
jin isn’t surprised that you didn’t come down but kook’s fazed so hard rn
“she was just bundled in her comforter.,.,., not even bundled up while watching netflix or something.,.,.,. just bundled.,,.,., half-asleep and half-scrolling through her phone and then i pEAKED at her phone and her feed wasn’t bland and then there was this really funny tiktok but y/n didn’t giggle :(((“
“y/n didn’t pester me to do a try-on clothing haul of the things i bought :(((( i mean before if she asked me to do it i would say nO but now that she’s not asking i wANNA DO IT :((( where’s y/n?? who’s that girl upstairs?? what’s going on?? i miss her :((”
jungkook doesn’t know jack either but he does know that it may have something to with jimin and his mind, really.,.,,.,. jin and him are straight-up vibing rn if that’s the case
“yO are u being honest but in the same time guilt-tripping jimin or something because you fEEL like it’s his fault too?”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING!”
they’re communicating telepathically
they’re not psychic but the point is that they will surely talk about this the moment jimin leaves them and say their hunches about what probably happened on your grocery run
jimin meanwhile is absolutely being roasted in guilt because he atleast thought that you would open up the situation to jungkook because you were friends
and after all he came to your room alone and he’s not there to deny whatever you tell
but you’re closed off even to them and jimin just wants so badly to fix thishe sees the tray jin’s fixing up and he figures that it’s for you so he immediately jumps to his feet and grounds jin by the shoulders
“no nO i’ll take them to y/n, hyung.”
jin is more than happy to give the tray to jimin but somehow bummed ?? at the same time because this just confirms that something indeed happen
there’s a soft knock to your door and you don’t even answer because it’s never been locked this whole time
you wanna pop your head out from your comforter too since binge-watching how things are made but without boring commentary is really starting to make your eyes hurt
“koo?”wait you know those footsteps
they’re lighter and delicate even with house slippers on and-
“hi.”
jimin isn’t surprised that you thought he was jungkook but his pride is hurt though
not just because he isn’t the first person you’re looking for when someone comes into your roombut because you still refuse to meet his gaze
:((
he’s setting up the tray that doubled as an actual mini table on your bed and he’s trying to divert his thoughts as he did, opting to be silent instead
he made the conscious decision to not have the food you didn’t eat at lunch to be reheated for your dinner because he knows that there are unresolved issues still — and it happened to be over his pride and ramen
safe to say that you’re eating your dinner
even if he’s standing by the corner looking like a kid who’s put in time-out while he remains silent
nobody’s forced him to take your dinner up nor even stay in your room while you’re adamant on eating your dinner and not making any conversation with himbut he’s willing though
jimin is more than willing to try and make up for what he did
“i’m sorry.”
the thing is
jimin barely apologizes
even when he’s in the wrong most of the times and it’s a trait of him that he’s not exactly proud ofhe just feels so shy whenever he apologizes verbally and it’s almost humiliating
but sir that is the point because you’re in remorse which is why you’re apologizing sIR
but he does things in his own way and he incorporates apologies into his actions and rarely into words
which is also good
but this blatant display of him apologizing using his words and letting you know that he knows what he’s done
jimin doesn’t want you to applaud him for it (and you’re not going to) because apologizing is a thing he really should be doing in the first place!!!
“i knew i was — i knew i was being stubborn. a-and it’s totally unjustifiable because i judged seojoon’s place so quick and i didn’t even know what i was talking about!! i didn’t even give the ramen a chance!! i’m sorry too since i uhm, i let you pick the place and then i made you feel bad for picking it. which is just wrong, i know. w-well uh i’m also sorry since i was just being-...”
god he really hates this word
hates this word to a degree
but he knows it’s very much true as he proved awhile ago and he has to face it head-to-head
“a brat.”
he frowns over what he just said and he doesn’t see you raising a brow at him as you’ve been trying to pre-occupy yourself by eating the whole time
“and an asshole.”
he’s fiddling with his rings in worry because oh god he may be a little bIT scared to look back up at you
maybe you already dozed off??? maybe you’re still mad and you’re gonna kick him out of your room???? maybe you’re gonna qUIT???
he should accept his fate, really
he will never have an assistant as good as you because you’re the bEST and he means it
also jimin isn’t wearing contacts and this is not the same mistake of him wearing them in the plane so whY are his eyes dry to the point that they’re gonna dampen any second
actually it’s just emotion
“okay :)”
that’s the only things you say after fully digesting his apology and it makes him falter in the corner for a second
“oH so like okay we’re gonna be nORMAL again and you don’t hate me??? oR okay as in you agree that i’m an asshole??? i’m fine with either two i just need to clarify for sURE so i could apologize again, y’know?? if it’s the second part? actually what if-...”
you gotta admit
your heart’s thawing at the moment and it’s still a progress but seeing jimin so flustered and uncomposed is very unlike himself
he knows his standing and what he’s capable of and he acts like it
he’s professional when it comes to work and dedicates his entirety of himself to it
he knows his social cues (well uh most of the time) and reads the room every time just so he could adjust along with it
it’s not his intention every time to stand out but even without trying to, he is and always will because he’s jimin
the jimin you see in shoots who requests for another shot to be taken when he feels like he hasn’t done enough for a pose and shakes people’s hands that already leaves a good lasting impression on them, isn’t the one who’s in front of you right now
it’s jimin who’s timid and rambling and is actually being very humble as of the moment -- devoid of any makeup and in his pajamas and the one who took up the dinner for his personal assistant who was mad at him
“we have a long day tomorrow, jimin. get your hours in, hm?”
oh 
okay that means you’re okay
he really can’t help blushing jUST because of a certain pronoun
god he is a mess and a half 
but he is a mess and a half that hAS your forgiveness 
jimin’s shuffling out the door and says his good night in tiny caps!!!
since he’s very obedient and u know what,, this has been a tiring day for him so he’s just gonna take a shower and then fall asleep to the thought of you :))
lol jin and kook have jimin memorized by now so they’re just waiting for that particular click of the door aND THEY’RE ALREADY DASHING UP THE STAIRS AND INTO YOUR ROOM
....
“sooooo.,.,.,.”
??????
“this is the part where you tELL us what happened oh my gOD y/n”
they’re plopping down to your bed on either side and then you’re in this sandwich you can’t get out of
seokjin is very good at pressuring and jungkook is very good at nudging you repeatedly to the point that you have no choice but to tell what happened
they were so :D when you told them about the grocery part
“he is sO clueless it’s so adorable”
“jin-hyung i’m telling you we NEED to get jimin-hyung to the flea market please :((”
there can never be too much side comments
they’re treating you as a pay-per-view boxing match and you best believe that they are gonna be NOISY
“hOW DARE YOU GO TO THAT RAMEN PLACE WITHOUT US :((”
“lol hyung the two of us went there when y/n was in her day-off bUT HOW DARE YOU Y/N :(((”
but in the same time it was okay for them because jimin feels like family at this point and he’s kinda within your circle if you just crossed out the fact that he’s your multi-millionaire boss and the three of u are his employees
then you get to that part where you felt jimin was being too quiet
jin’s already shaking his head at that point because he knew one way or another to where this was going
kook has some hope that nO jimin-hyung isn’t gonna do that so he has his mouth hung open as he waits for you to continue on
“yAAAAA why do you have to be so sTUPID jimin????”
“why didn’t you tell us earlier?? we could’ve been mad at jimin wITH YOU!! you didn’t need to be alone at being mad!! i’m mad!!”
they totally get your standpoint and how it must’ve felt to be in your position awhile ago
“i would really fight with jimin right then and there-”
“hyung that’s because you’re old”
“i’m old aND i have ramen to eat and jimin’s being a hypocrite tHAT’S WHAT”
the two of them are really making it clear that they’re not gonna stop on talking and have probably forgotten that this is your room
they’re so fired up to notice that it’s your bed they’re messing up by tossing and turning
“well for me.,,.,, i think i would just eat my food because aha i paid for it aND for jimin’s order too. gonna ask here and there to what standard of good does he have and how different it actually is from that ramen place. especially if you take out the external and materialistic factors”
“real mature of you, jungkook. i’m-”
“but that’s just a front and i’m gonna cHEW HIM OUT IN THE CAR AND FIGHT WITH JIMIN BECAUSE HE WAS DISRESPECTING ME!! AND SEOJOON!! AND THE FOOD!! AND-
lol jin spoke too soon
there’s this inevitable question that’s hanging
of how any professional and unattached personal assistant wouldn’t be too hung-up over this and just call it a day
and to how they wouldn’t dwell over that and coop up in their room as they re-evaluate the fact that they’re probably falling for their boss and said boss has hurt their feelings
jin and kook choose not to delve in it
especially jin who’s concerned about you in the first place because he caught onto the fact early on that you and jimin have this sort of tension and ease of comfort at the same time
not to mention that jimin smelled of the linen spray he gifted you on your birthday
and he could never mistaken that scent for anything else besides your bed
not unless someone else sleeps in your bed
he kNEW
knew this whole time that jimin shared your bed that night and he connected it to the spider thing and then suddenly, it just wasn’t a theory that he concocted
he could’ve easily slept in one of the many guest rooms here
could’ve bunked with jungkook because his room was the closest to jimin’s
could’ve bunked with him because jimin knows jin has a diffuser that’s same as his in his room and it would make him asleep faster
but no :D
jimin still chose to knock on your door and stay in your room
because in jimin’s fight or flight response over a spider invading his room, it’s to go to you
:D
he is one step away from making one of those boards you can see in tv shows that connected you and jimin with pushpins and yarn just to let you both know thAT THE FEELINGS ARE MUTUAL
THEY ARE VERY MUCH MUTUAL
AND YOU’RE NOT ACTING ON IT AND HE ISN’T EITHER BECAUSE THE BOTH OF YOU ARE SCARED
the three of you probably must have been carried away talking for so long that you’ve all fallen asleep squished into your bed with you still in the middle
kook is fully latched to you and he’s hEAVY and jin has his back turned to you but with his legs resting on top of yours???? and you’re all knocked out to the point, especially you, that you didn’t even notice that whilst being in the middle, your comforter warmed eVERYTHING and everyone but you 
but it felt tOO lax
too lax that in your groggy half-asleep mind that you think you’re missing something ????
that all three of you are half-awake now and are just rolling around in the slightest and something jUST doesn’t feel right
wait
is that the door to your room opening
that is mOST definitely a phone clicking
was that a giggle
“yAAAA have some respect dhshhd wAIT JIMIN OH MY GOD OH MY GOD JIMIN WAKE UP WAKE UP WE SLEPT IN”
jin is flailing around like a fish out of water
he is moving more than the he caught within like eight seconds when he decided to try out fishing
you’re jostled awake because you’re laying closest to him and you sWEAR your soul must have been jostled too
kook was having it rough
he was.,.., in a defense position???? he’s,.,..,., taking cover??? 
lol alright jimin thinks that’s IT
“hush the three of u just kinda overslept”
jimin says sweetly while in the same time he’s kinda prying jungkook off of you hehehe and he could just disguise it as getting him to wake up
he has to admit that he was really endeared when he saw this sight of the three of you passed out asleep
he was very confused when he woke up and there still wasn’t breakfast or you explaining today’s flow and jungkook listening in behind the two of you
that’s weird,,,,,
then he peaked into each of your rooms expecting for it to be locked but to his surprise it wASN’T
he opened kook’s first and then it was empty and he completely blanked at that
j-jin????
he opened your room last and when the doorknob budged so easily he was about to pass out because wHY IS IT OPEN
and then he peaked and oH OMG UR ALL STILL ASLEEP
that’s no worries!! :D
jimin can handle all of this for the morning and he can even surprise the lot of you
ready-mix pancake batter?
aha easy but no :D he is looking to impress, not to burn
cereals?
aha no :D he is limited but his skills go far beyond than just adding milk ok
cup noodles bUT with mozzarella sticks that he can pop in the oven while he makes iced tea perhaps if water is too bland???
AHA YES :D
it’s beyond simple but he’s proud of himself ok
and it’s the thought that matters!!!
he’s even assured you that it’s all okay and no one’s gonna get fired!! not even close!!
you keep apologizing to him because you know today is supposed to be a busy one and you’re just gonna hOP into the shower and you’ll be out in five minutes and ur gonna be professional
“y/n jagi trust me!! i checked!! my call-time isn’t for another two hours!! you’re fINE. just go join jin-hyung and ggukie because i made breakfast :D”
“okay fine but jUST because you made breakfast :D”
[ and also u called me jagi and i am too soft for you and you can comfort me and my thought very endearingly so yes i wILL go down ]
jimin is so happy to see the three of you being genuinely excited ok
the two boys are SLIGHTLY taking a piss out of him but apart from that they are so so proud and are being absolutely candid
“jimin-hyung you didn’t forget to stir the iced tea this time oMG :((((
““you aCTUALLY closed the lid this time when you put in the hot water”
“bUT I’M SO PROUD OF YOU JIMIN OMG!!!!! you killed it with the mozzarella sticks”
“you EVEN sprinkled some uncooked noodles for that extra crunch omg i will hug u right now”
he’s actually blushing from all the praise
it doesn’t help either that you’re sitting beside him and are agreeing and even adding in your own quips!!
“it’s no big deal :D”
it is, in fact, a big deal
and jimin wants to stress that no matter how all of you are impressed with him right now, he wants to show that this should be a normal occurence too!!!the three of you are literally paid to make his life easier by doing tasks he can do himself and for that he is beyond grateful
but he wants to return his gratitude from time to time!!!he thinks letting you keep some from the PR packages is not enough
it’s jimin’s baby steps and the three of you are aware and you’re rooting for him
even if sometimes he might fall face-first but you’re always there
:)
you don’t want to be overly too cheesy
but you mean it
you really do
as much as jimin depended on you, you’ve probably also learned how to always look for and after him in everything that you do
he’s ultimately housed into your heart and god it’s too hard to try and pick him out of it
you could be in your day-off and trying to do an activity by yourself and your first thought would be “lol jimin would get so impatient with this”
you see a relatively luxury item? that’s jimin
u see a billboard of a brand in fashion week that he most definitely sat front row at? jimin
a dog you pass by on the street that looks like it most definitely something he would coo and try to pet?? PARK JIMIN
you don’t wanna take advantage of your position to enact your feelings
even if that is most certainly a vantage point
but you most definitely would do it if you were just sure that jimin liked you back
that he thought of you in the same way and you’re not only a mere PA he could always replace whenever he wanted to
distancing yourself is practically impossible
especially when you can’t distinguish the concept of mixed signals anymore from the actual fact that maybe
just maybe that he liked you too :(((
jimin’s kNOCKING on your door again at an ungodly hour and you’re opening it up
again
“is it another-“
you’re about to fully open your door because you’re highly sure that this is another spider and he’s not gonna put himself up with that situation EVER again
about to rub off the sleep in your eyes only to succumb back later again when he’s gonna lie beside you in your bed
but it was different this time
there’s sniffling and heavy tears
there’s jimin whose chest is heaving right now as he’s trying to compose himself
his heart feels ultimately heavy and even more so because it’s about to sink in that he just woke you up to hear out his problems he doesn’t think is too shallow to even be a problem; his whole mind foggy
“if my parents weren’t rich and i wasn’t the park jimin — do you think i’d still get to my level of success?”
he looks absolutely wretched and his voice sounds so pained
he’s about to turn on his heel because he feels so selfish for having you wake up for him but it’s not something-
“yes.”
you say without skipping a beat and you swear your heart clenches when jimin does a double-take over what you just said
your heart is absolutely hurting for him :((
you don’t even think when you pull him to you for an embrace and he’s completely breaking down by then, his face buried to the crook of your neck with his hands still in fists
jimin might have searched his name for the fun of it
but then one thing led to another and then he ended up reading threads in reddit and twitter and basically in any portal of social media
some are good and wholesome
but god there’s just some that were criticizing him and his wealthy background
some were too below the belt
and there’s this guttural feeling in his chest because what if he really is everything that these people point him out to be
he didn’t want for himself to be born into a well-off family and that’s out of his control
jimin so badly misses the time that he was still pretty fucking young and naive to the fact that he’s already had millions to his name even before he could speak his first words and crawl for the first time
and it’s the guilt that he carries with him
it’s how he tries to rid himself off the image that he’s nothing but wealth
he’s spiraled so hard into thought during the past hour that it hasn’t sinked into him that he’s been crying to you for almost equally as long
“i see you for you, jimin — i mean it.”
you’re rubbing circles in his back and it’s helping him calm down especially you talking to him because it grounds his mind
he’s kind of blubbering still but he’s listening to you intently and he’s resorted to staying still in your embrace
“you’re one of the greatest people i ever know and it’s not because you’re your parents’ son, okay? i see you for you.”
he’s all puffy from crying and you’re wiping at the extra tears that’s coming out with how he’s digesting your words and that earns him another kiss to his hairline because it truly calms him
you have one hand on his palm and jimin’s mindlessly playing with it as it distracts him from the heaviness on his chest and besides
you’re a really calming figure
you’d do anything right now to just ground jimin :((((
whatever it takes
“you can take off your makeup and your jewelry, jimin — i’d still love you the same.”
you mean it
you mean it vERY much
if the circumstances were different and they were lighter
you’d notice that you might have slipped up and basically confessed your love for himi
f the circumstances weren’t jimin crying to you at 2 in the morning from reading up to what some people think of him
he’d say the same to you
but it’s this
and jimin nods to your words and he’s tired and so are you
he lets you tuck him and squeeze his hand and listens to when you tell him that if he needs anything, he could just shake you awake and you’re gonna be there for him
and maybe even in the dark
jimin turns to face you at one point and you’re fast asleep and he’s getting to finally succumb to the rest that’s tugging on his veins
maybe even in the dark, he may have slotted his hand to fit yours
jimin’s holding your hand in the dark as he falls asleep
:D
he feels secure and goes to sleep secure and he wakes up secure
growing up, his security without a doubt was always ensured considering his background and well practically who he is
but that was a different type of security
it’s surface-level security such as what jungkook’s hired to do!!!!!
but you
you probably can’t tell but you are literally a walking safe place for jimin to which he feels immediately at home at
home is a broad term because it’s more of a feeling of belonging rather than a set location
and u know what
:D
home feels oddly specific to jimin nowadays
especially when he got two of his impacted wisdom teeth out under general anesthesia :D
he doesn’t hate going to the dentist’s office actually
who wouldn’t when the dentist he goes at is too pristine and there’s a flat-screen tv and the receptionist is actually nice!!!! and the doors were cool!!!! and the seats were spacious and loungy!!!!!
jimin only went like “.....cool” when the dentist said that he has four impacted wisdom teeth after seeing his x-ray
in fact he was a bit excited because omg i’ve never had an operation in my life ever wHAT must this feel like????
but then
u see
lmao dr. baekhyun kinda has a knack for joking and he nudges jimin at one point when he was explaining the operation
“yeah you’re gonna be under local anesthetic :D”
“that’s cool doc :D”
you’re catching on to what dr. baekhyun is saying because you’ve got your wisdom teeth taken out before aND HIS TONE IS JOKING
AND JIMIN DOESN’T KNOW IT YET
does jimin think that there’s an imported anesthetic and he’s being oh wow cool support local rn.,.,.,,.
and not realizing that-
“that means you’re gonna be awake for your operation :D”
“oh that’s — wAIT WHAT????”
dr. baekhyun is really taking a piss out of him omg he’s trying to keep a straight face right now and so are you
“what do you mEAN i’m gonna be awake for it doc????? that’s nOT what the movies say!!!”
“it’s almost gonna be pain-free, jimin. don’t-...”
“b-but aLMOST?? why do i need to be awake for it??? oh my gOD i watched that video of how they extract and i’m gonna be AWAKE when you drill into my jaw??? dr. baekhyun-“
jimin is blubbering
he is so near to tears
he’s turning into a big baby and his voice is wavering and oh my god that’s when dr. baekhyun and you cut it out
he is tEARING UP to the crook of your neck as you simultaneously try to stifle your laughter and run your hands through his hair
he’s pouting the whole moment you and dr. baekhyun take turns explaining
“aish, those movies. actually, most wisdom teeth extractions happen under local anesthetic. it’s most recommended if you’re just gonna have one to two wisdom teeth taken out at a time-“
“or generally if your wisdom teeth are not buried in too deep!!”
“what happens is — ok the dentist applies some lidocaine to the spot, and then it numbs, and then they’re gonna inject some stuff with a bIG-ASS SYRINGE!!!!”
“lmao y/n don’t scare jimin but aLSO!!! THAT’S TRUE!! but sometimes local anesthetic could be intravenous instead :D”
jimin is so conflicted wHY are you still explaining this to him and why did u play with him like that:(((
“but don’t worry!! point is, you’re not gonna be awake for it since your situation is a bit more difficult for local anesthesia :)”
.....that really made him sigh out of relief
but also he’s still a bit mad because wHY did you let dr. baekhyun joke with him like that and why did you join
if that was truly the case then yeet he will never get his wisdom teeth taken out
throughout the week you remind him to take the prescription meds that would have him prepped for his surgery
he is both excited and nervous
he’s bringing it up at every chance he gets
“carbonara..... ugh :(( oh well this is my last taste at carbonara before i get operated on and have my mouth bloody and my cheeks puffy for like a week or something :(((“
“chicken :(( oh yeah i can’t eat chicken and other oily things after my operation :(((“
“oh right :(( y/n can you put a toothbrush for toddlers in your grocery list? y’know,,, since i’m gonna have stitches and all :((“
jungkook was very nervous and concerned with jimin’s hype for this because omg he doesn’t know yet if his own wisdom teeth are impacted
and jimin did a word-per-word explanation of the procedure as per dr. baekhyun and boy is he so scared and nervous at the same time
jin on the other hand is very amused as to how he’s so pumped for a damn operation
“lol watch him mope for five days when all he could eat is soup and you and jungkook get to eat solids beside him”
but then the actual day of his operation came
and he is nervous ok
beyond nervous than he could ever admit
jimin is excited and nervous at the same time because he knows exactly what’s gonna happen to him but at the same time he wOULDN’T know that it’s happening to him
that’s terrifying
he’s so nervous about going alone into the room and the three of you are sending him eager waves as moral support ok yEET he’s coming back in for another hug
he may or may not be stalling
jimin hugs seokjin longer this time
jungkook hugs jimin tighter because omg he has all his respect like king u are gonna have your jaw basically cracked i’m rOOTING FOR YOU
he seems that he has no intention at letting you go so u have to move the both of yourselves to the room step by step while still keeping his embrace
dr. baekhyun is assuring him that it would be literally over before he knows it!!
jin is putting in his bet that it would be an irritable post-op jimin the moment he comes out of the operating room
jungkook bets that jimin would be v clingy and cuddly 
u are siding with neither bet because you know that jimin would be a handful either way
some hours passed and dr. baekhyun is going to the waiting area eagerly!!
“yAAA follow me!! most especially y/n!! jimin is thrashing looking around for you!!”
jin never walked with this much purpose
kook is so nervous because omg is jimin okay whY is he thrashing :((
ok maybe thrashing is a bit of an exaggeration
but there’s some truth to it actually
jimin’s cheeks are mad swollen!!!
there’s a nurse standing some distance away from him and the tag reads kai and kai looks so amused looking at the patient he’s had some trouble with the moment he woke up
by trouble he means jimin whining and flopping around like a goldfish and wON’T listen to sehun’s explanations nor get his assistance
jimin’s still sat on his chair with his arms crossed across his chest and it’s clear that he has a frown on even with his gauze-filled cheeks 
his ears perk up the moment the door slides open!!
“mMMMPFHH!!!”
in any other situation you would giggle with how he excalimed with so much ferocity but you just become concerned because his arms are outstretched for you
yes you’re now hugging a hazy post-op jimin
“the nurfse!!! kai!! he waFf trying to choke me :(((”
kook would jump at any second now but lmao everybody knows he’s not actually serious
kai was actually just trying to take off the bib around his neck but jimin fLIPPED omg he thought kai was gonna choke him :((
“my cheekTh :(( am i touching my cheekFs??”
jimin is very adamant in patting his cheeks aggressively and you have to catch his hands because that cAN’T be good for him
“yes jimin u are”
he’s panicking now because wHY can he not feel them??
he resorts to patting and smushing your own cheeks instead
:O
he is wooing out loud
dr. baekhyun is giving u a lil baggie of jimin’s wisdom teeth and u hAD to hide them real quick because jimin thought that he saw some food and that’s something he’s not exactly entitled to indulge in right now
kai is giving jin reminders besides the bond paper he’s already given
dietary reminders too and he’s practically chuckling because omg jimin’s gonna HATE this 
“he was out like a light during the whole thing but the moment he woke up?? he was crying because you weren’t in the room with him”
dr. baekhyun says as if jimin isn’t there beside u,,, clinging onto you,.,.,
you’re sure he is completely out of it and is totally not listening :D
“if jimin’s still bleeding by the second day, or if something’s just not right with his healing or if there’s too much pain, just give me a call, m’kay?”
ok wait actually
he’s listening
jimin’s tUGGING you by the collar of your shirt and u literally almost plank to the ground because a post-op jimin is stronger than necessary
“nOoOo!! don’tfh call him!! y/n wHY are u gonna call docfor baekhyun :(((”
“in case anything goes wrong with your hEALING,, jimin”
“wHAFtf no :(( just call mE!! ME!!! me notfd him :((”
dr. baekhyun really seems to be enjoying and at this point he kinda has to kick the lot of u out because the room needs to be disinfected and the next appointment he has is in an hour
“lol your boyfriend’s really the jealous type hUh”
“lmao nO dr. baekhyun jimin’s not my boyfriend!!”
he looks like a seal pursing his lips right now but he just absentmindedly hums as he gives u another baggie but this time with some gauze and cotton and the medicine he needs to take
jimin isn’t opposed to being carried right now and jungkook is most certainly not against carrying his hyung
in fact he is gLAD
he doesn’t mind at all carrying jimin who’s cOMPLAINING that he feels so light with how fast kook is walking so he’s slowing down to like five steps within five seconds
omg he hopes he isn’t making him dizzy :(((
he’s just gonna take long strides ok 
that way, jimin isn’t gonna notice!!!
also 
jimin is adamant that u hold his hand and jin with his other hand the wHOLE time jungkook is carrying him
u pull your hand out one time because it was getting clammy and u had to wipe it off and jimin almost threw a fit :(((
kook is driving and jin is in the front seat and you’re left at the back with jimin
he is still pouting and u can’t tell actually with how his cheeks are at the moment but there’s this crease in his brow you so badly want to kiss off
he feels fuzzy
ultimately fuzzy and soft at the same time 
he is in: pain
jimin softly places his head on your shoulder with an accompanying sound effect from his own mouth of course :)
“are you gonna take care of me?”
he is definitely less wild than he was back in the clinic but that doesn’t take away the same confusion and persistence in his voice though
you are convinced he is speaking in tiny text and that just adds up to the fact that he looks so mushy right now :((
“of course i am :)”
jimin kinda blanks at that
nods slowly even
he’s looking at your lap wistfully and just juts outs his bottom lip while sTILL tugging at your heartstrings with how he is now
“ok thank u :(((”
his scalp is getting scratched at gently and both normal and post-op jimin like that
the whole drive is smooth actually
with the music playing and jin and kook arguing in the background about whose bet won and in your humble opinion it’s a 50/50 bc he is Snarky with a capital S to the two of them but he is completely soft and pliable to you
just when u thought that jimin’s asleep with how quiet he is, once again is he shifting in his seat and upfront grabbing your arm to lace around him while he’s still laid on your shoulder :((
“loaf u”
you’re humming as you’re a bit lost to what jimin just said
“i loaf u”
????
jimin knocks out after he repeats loaf to you for like ten times and he’s basically lulled himself to sleep just by saying that
oh
OH
“i love you.”
you are not gonna squeak
u are nOT gonna cry
what you’re gonna do is TRY to keep your composure even if u know your cheeks are outrageously heated and your lip’s about to bust with how hard you’re biting down
jus gotta pretend that jimin isn’t lying down on you or that you’re never gonna hear the end of it if jin and kook just knew what happened right now
or that night when jimin slept beside you in your own bed
or that night before when jimin slept beside you in your own bed :)
he is in pain
in iMMENSE PAIN
jungkook carried him up to his room and even tucked him in!!
he got so worried bc jimin sometimes drools but instead of drool what if he just drools bLOOD???
right in these silk pillowcases? not in his watch
he’s putting his own dark-colored face towels on either side of jimin’s face because someone needs to take one for the team
he woke up all groggy and he was about to yawn bUT CHRIST NO
FUCK
THAT HURTS
JIMIN FORGOT THAT HE HAS STITCHES
he’s gonna appreciate it that it was a blue thread used and the stitches are dissolvable
but it’s hard to appreciate when even opening your mouth hURTS
he’s groaning and whining so bad
he is dialling your number in an instant because he can’t exactly call out for you, can he :D
he is so fatigued oh my god he’s gonna lay this one out
“hiiiii sleepyhead :D”
“hurts :(((”
right off the bat, you know
you already know that you’re gonna need to baby jimin perhaps this whole week 
foods that require sipping and sucking are absolutely not allowed
ramen is off the menu
anything spicy or served hot is a no-go
anything oily such as chicken and pork aren’t allowed either
leafy things such as kimchi is a no!!!
basically!!!
none
jin is trying his best to cheer up jimin with his cooking ok 
you and kook empathized with him by also eating room-temperature mushroom soup :D
that will be the only time though aha 
there’s two heating pads almost always on jimin’s face 
he is moping around in his pajamas and indulging in his button up silk pajama tops because slipping on shirts hurts ok
his schedule is basically free so that means the three of you are too!!
non-stop movie marathons
jimin is so bitter seeing the three of you eATING snacks and popcorn and everything else
the three of you made a rule after that if you’re gonna eat, just eat at the couch bEHIND jimin
accidentally the three of you came together to eat at the couch and jimin was ???????
“oh ok i see what happened there,.,,.”
a new rule was you can eat oNE AT A TIME
and if ur gonna eat something noisy such as chips, you gRAB ANOTHER CHAIR AND THEN SIT FAR BEHIND
he’s also learned to say the word please more
it’s not that he didn’t say it before
but now every sentence that he says has pls and thank u in it
“kook can you pls lift this box for me? y/n still won’t allow me to lift heavy things because dr. baekhyun said so-”
“not a problem jimin-hyung!!!”
“aha thank you :D”
“jin-hyung can u pls make me one of those yogurt smoothies? please? i’m not gonna try to use a straw i swear :(( please??”
“oh my god don’t worry u don’t even need to ask!! hOW many do you want??? two? three? thIRTY?? u know what i’m gonna send kook out to buy those baby biscuits that u could dissolve really easily you deserve a
snack :((”
“y/n my hand is really heavy right now can you hold it??”
:D
if jimin was affectionate then, he is mUCH more affectionate now
all these lingering touches and all these pet names :((
makes you think more and more if jimin remembered what he was saying when he was in that post-op haze
and honestly you don’t know which option was better
u are in panic whenever you think about the whole loaf thing
in the same time you’re excited and nervous because what if he didn’t mean what he was saying!! or what if he did know what he was saying but now that he’s okay, he regrets it and thinks it’s a mistake
kinda like u who’s sat on his bed because he asked if u could stay with him and play with his hair until he fell asleep 
:((
u absolutely don’t know what to do
YOU CAN’T SLEEP
all you’ve been doing is watching video after video doing thrift store hauls
u want that pan
that small polar bear-shaped pan meant for pancakes
it’s dysfunctional and it will be impossible to flip in theory
but you WANT it 
you ended up on tiktok watching eAsY recipes they’ve crammed to 15 seconds :D
you’ve lost track in how many links you’ve been texting jin :D
maybe u should tire yourself to fall asleep!!!!
how about u make dalgona right now
i mean it is mainly milk but it still has coffee so it’s a 60/40 chance that it’s gonna help you fall asleep????
u are gonna beat with your arm until it falls off :D
...
....
“..,.,, jin??”
“..,.., y/n??”
“why are yOU awake??”
“no why are YOU awake??”
the two of u could bicker for hours but it ended when it finally dawned on
jin that you’re awake and he is too and he’s holding his phone
oh god he’s been avoiding your messages
“so :D aha edible cookie dough?? :D”
jin is squinting his eyes at the microwave and he almost flips at you as he thinks this should be the answer to your request
“y/n it is two in the morning”
“ok what’s your point though :)”
he’s gonna stay silent because oh shit u did have a point there
there is no direct correlation with the time and giving in to making you your cravings and honestly? edible cookie dough sounds nice
he’ll probably have to make his own recipe because jin will NOT follow a 15-second tutorial in tiktok :D aha over his dead body :D
turned out that jin was only here because he got hungry from gaming straight for five hours and he’s in a bit of a loss streak so he just wanted to eat some comfort food
you blanked out when he asked why were you here
oh my god
yOU UNPACKED A LOT
jin is sitting in the bar stool next to you as you keep rambling on over what you’ve been feeling and the things that have been happening the past few weeks
he is really killing it with his expressions
:O
he is shocked but at the same time not
but hearing this from you himself and confirming some theories he had here and there rEALLY MAKES HIM :O
“oh baby :(((“
you’re crying at this point and yOU DON’T KNOW WHY EITHER
you’re just so confused and conflicted at the same time ok and u don’t know what to do
jin’s hugging you for moral support and he really does feel sorry for you
“ok ok just cry it out i’m gonna make the cookie dough now oKAY WAIT NO DON’T SQUEAL”
apparently your squeals can summon someone with the name of jeon jungkook :D
he explains quickly to nOT do that because he says that there’s literally a pattern
you squeal and jungkook must pop out at any second even if you’re out of reach
jungkook says huwah :O and then yOU literally drop everything that you’re doing just to see what’s happened and be a part of it
“thank god he’s asleep though”
seokjin mutters more to himself in relief because lol the edible cookie dough he’s gonna make in now four in the morning 
having to share it with u who could inhale comfort food in a second is enough
having another one who could inhale twice as much and twice as fast is nOT welcome
also he is doing really good with this recipe he just improvised
it smells so good that you lit rally stopped crying
why is a door opening
and why are there eager footsteps descending on the stairs
“hYUNG what is it why did y/n squeal? oH y/n omg you’re here too”
he is still groggy from sleep and his voice is really raspy and not to mention the fact that he was woken up by your squeal alone
jin is adamant in shielding the mixer with his body because no way is he going to add in to the batch
u didn’t get the note that the two of u are supposed to hide the cookie dough though so you pipe in at the very last second before kook notices your state that yes u indeed cried!!
“cookie dough!! edible cookie dough!! jin agreed to make it for me :D”
he is caught red-handed and kook has never felt this betrayed 
and he’s gonna take this betrayal as a silver lining now that the sleep is wearing off of him!!!
“woah omg i can’t wait to taste it :D”
seokjin has already lost this game even before it started so u know what he’s just gonna cook more flour and make a bigger batch for the tHREE of you
the barstools jimin has put here are honestly a hit because that way kook could probe you gently on why were you crying
judging by the way jin freezed too when he mentioned jimin’s name, kook even got more curious
and u trust him enough just like you do with jin
you’re gonna retell the story again with some interjections here and there from jin who you told this to like two hours ago and it’s more exciting that way because as you said, he is rEALLY killing it with the expressions
jungkook cannot stop gasping and at one point you had to hold his hand bc he is in a state of shock ok
all his side comments and reactions gave jin more leeway to rapidly freeze the cookie dough a bit since he’s still a bit offended that you said he could just follow the tiktok recipe and it wouldn’t make a difference!!
not true
jin puts the D in difference 
you’re just about to wrap up your whole story and jin’s taking out the dough and kook is half-distracted because he can clearly see the bag of chocolate chips that isn’t empty
DON’T BE SHY PUT SOME MORE
kook nods in earnest when you finish up and he’s gonna say what he thinks
but not before stating to you the fact that jimin is clearly in love with you!!!!
“do you want me to make you a cake that says we should get married so you could give it to jimin? i make-...”
“piss off jungkook wE ARE NOT THE SAME!! i’m gonna make that cake!! me!! not you u little-”
lol jin is really touchy with his job 
he is dearly protective and he will be the ONE and the ONLY
the cookie dough is heavenly
so heavenly
jungkook swears he has never ate something so divine and he has never wanted to contract salmonella before since he so badly wants to recreathe this for himself
he’s just gonna be good to jin and won’t get on his nerves so he could request another portion of this and not contract salmonella :))
time passed by so quickly and there were so many snacks made that u didn’t notice that the sun already rose and jimin’s going down the stairs with question marks floating around in his head
the two are QUICK to lie with the reasons to why you’re all up and deflect that you have been even before the sun peaked and it is surely connected to jimin
“hi hyung!! oh y/n just couldn’t sleep so that’s why she grabbed milk from the fridge!”
“and i heard the little ruckus so i came downstairs and then jungkook came down because he hear my door opening!”
“yeah and we all couldn’t sleep so we were just talking about things!!”
“global warming!! uH the new kitchen-aid jin wants!! normal things :D”
that is more information that jimin asked for
he literally just remarked “oOoH you’re all up early!!”
he is much better now since it’s been a little over a week and he’s recovering steadily
he’s on a solo errand today actually!! and jimin said that he wanted to go and meet up with his friends
you don’t have a clue to what him and taehyung and hoseok do in their time-off
probably rich people things like ordering a big bowl of caviar??
or maybe they just drive in convertibles all day and wear cool expensive shades 24/7
you’ve been jimin’s PA for like two years now and not once have you ever seen those two
it’s cool
you know almost everyone in jimin’s circle by now!!
even more-so now because you’re gonna school jin in this very party jimin’s throwing right now
you and kook have memorized his circle by now and it’s jin’s opportunity now since his job description doesn’t exactly entail that he’s gonna be glued to the hip to him to everywhere
this party is both intimidatingly high-end but in the same time actually entertaining
that’s rare nowadays hehe
it’s a party that’s been a long time coming now!! 
after all, jimin has bagged every award he possibly could in the back-to-back award shows that’s happened in this month alone
quite an awesome feat since the nature and fields of all award shows were different!! from being in countless lists in magazines as one of the most successful people to having the greatest selling power
to being hailed as the most influential endorser to being the most promising future leaders
he’s got it all
jimin literally got them all
he wasn’t even present to every award show he was nominated for and later won at
he was kinda unfazed
and that is boss shit as jungkook said in disbelief 
it explains this extravagant party and it’s also a celebration that aHA i’ve also got over this wisdom teeth scenario and u bet he’s gonna retell the details to the guests
it’s in a nightclub within a hotel
a lavish nightclub with in an even more lavish hotel and it was huge
so huge that there was a sWIMMING POOL!!!
a swimming pool!!! in a nightclub!!! in a hotel!!!
there was something for everybody in this party 
jimin got this idea when he was lying it bed after being so groggy after his surgery and was like wAIt what if i threw a party ya know
so he started planning!!!
he didn’t have to leave his bed when he hired an event planner over the phone nor laid out his course one by one
you only knew of this party a couple days later and you were a bit confused because??? wait at your past parties i dID the planning and u came to me first right?? :(((
ok you knew what jin was getting at
and he’s just :D aha it’s bc i want it to be a suprise for u and everyone ya know???
there is alcohol!! there is booze!! everything!! it ranges from cheap canned beer to expensive aged whiskey!!
also: there are meals in this party???
lasagna!!! chicken fingers!! hors d’ouevres!! dESSERT!!!
it’s a fusion of everything you could ever look for without being or looking overwhelming at all!! sure the lights are out and it’s a mixture of neon lights that are lighting up the whole room and there’s default party music playing bUT you could eat ice cream and it’s gonna look perfectly casual!!
jimin really did a great job doing this (mostly) by himself
you are so stunned :D
just yesterday jimin literally sent out the three of you with his credit card and he said nO QUESTIONS ASKED
everything that he did raised questions
“jimin wHY are you kicking us out and wHY are you giving us your credit card and yOUr car keys, without you???”
“yA calm down jagi-”
jin and kook try not to freeze in their spot
are they gonna pretend to be surprised or casual because uhhhhh jimin just called u jagi right in front of them and they think that he hasn’t realized it yet :)
“treat yourselves!! pick up what you wanna wear for the party tomorrow!! don’t skimp out this time pls because i’m gonna receive a notification for it and i wILL march down there if u do skimp :((( ok treat yourselves bYE :D”
you’re all confused and are very ʷʰᵃᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʰᵃᵖᵖᵉⁿᵉᵈ
jin is talking to jimin on the phone while kook is driving and you can hear whining through the other line and jin’s very persistent sputters
ok u all had no choice
and it all landed to the three of you looking so divine in this party!!! surely they knew that oh my god yes u are indeed jimin’s entourage and u don’t need any introductions at this point
man all these compliments and gasps are really going straight to your ego :D
jin and kook were really persistent in interfering with the outfit u were gonna pick out and u had little say because they were so excited but u know what.,.,.,. they did an eXCELLENT job
you’re wearing a black lacy bodysuit!!! you were skeptical at first because whAT does this have to do with ur outfit??? it wasn’t see-through but it fit sOOOO nicely and jin was in the store with u to help because as he explained
there are different laces and he swears that he will strangle you if you pick a tacky one because it would ruin the whole outfit he and kook planned out
and then pants!! high-waisted fITTED BLACK SILK PANTS 
and then bOOM A VERY NICE BLACK SUIT JACKET 
and it wasn’t plain because tHERE’S GOLD EMBROIDERY ON THE BACK
really nice golden embroideries of flowers and some dragons and jungkook iMMEDIATELY screeched when he saw that there was a tiger flowers and was :O
“get it. get it. immediately. right now. get it. if you’re not gonna use jimin’s credit card. use mine. you want cash? here. after the party you hAVE to let me borrow this. please. pls.”
he even let you borrow his earrings and gOD WOW
YOU’RE ALSO WEARING THE NECKLACE JIMIN GAVE YOU!!
safe to say that you have stunned everyone :D
lit rally everyone and you felt so good wearing it too!!
jimin’s reaction was very heartwarming omg
he was frozen for five seconds and then after he was squealing and shrieking 
“jAGIIIIIIII you are so beautiful omg do you know that :(((”
he is really pushing the term of endearment and ur not complaining
the way that he’s so giddy about seeing you in your outfit and how he even tWIRLED you around!!!!
you’re positive that you’re gonna cry
jin looks dashing and people are literally swooning over him
some people were arguing about u know what how about u become my chef???
a blue button-up with a dash of gold on the side and there’s some jewels on the collar and there’s embellishments and then bOOM HE SUDDENLY HAS A DIAMOND CHOKER
it wasn’t really expensive tbh but god it could be a $3 chain and he’s still gonna make it look like it’s a thousand dollars!!!
jungkook had on a silky black inside shirt and a thread-like glittery combo for a suit and he sERVED!!!! he most certainly didn’t disappoint and people were turning their heads and were :O jimin are you sURE this is your bodyguard
you were enjoying yourself!!! so much!!!
you’re by yourself since jin explored by himself to get some lasagna because he is getting hungry ok
kook is near jimin but not so much because he wants him to enjoy himself but in the same time be safe but aLSO not feel like he’s kinda invading his fun personal bubble at the moment
jimin’s with taehyung and hoseok in their own booth and it’s very clear that they are catching attention because they are quite the attention-grabbing trio
so much beauty and not to mention so much money
you’ve barely talked to him the whole party because people keep whisking him away though :((
sometimes you forget that jimin is beyond famous because right at this moment, it’s sinking in again that everyone invited here has something to do with every field jimin’s ever been in
and that is a lot :D
half are personalities and celebrities and the other half are people behind the scenes and it’s just a mesh of basically everyone in the media and such
there’s a lot of really pretty people
so much so that ur a lil bit insecure :D
some female co-stars that jimin’s worked with left and right :D
sPEAKING OF
chaeyoung.,.,.,
chaeyoung who jimin had a massive crush on like two years ago from a luxury shoot and back then you didn’t used to mind because yOU HAVEN’T FALLEN FOR HIM YET 
however when u did start,,,
and she’s mentioned out of the blue or she’s in the same shoot coincidentially, you swear
you sWEAR your stomach does flips and there’s a monster in the name of jealousy that pops up :((
u can’t help it :(((
chaeyoung belonged to the same circle of elites jimin belonged to
not to mention that she’s famous and closer to jimin’s level than you ever could!!!
you’re not sure if jimin knows that she’s indeed here and most certainly you don’t know if he STILL has a crush on her
apparently you’re about to know now because you let your eyes linger around you again to see cHAEYOUNG!!! WALKING TO YOU!!! AT FULL SPEED!!!
aha :D
why :D
pls no why :D
u feel so intimidated you’re not gonna lie at aLL
she looks stern and looks so put-together and u are pretty sure she has no pores at all and her dress is more expensive than your paycheck for like six months could ever be :(((
“you’re his personal assistant, right? can you ask him to come meet me here?”
oh
you weren’t expecting that
you weren’t sure on what you were expecting in the first place at all but you are hecking sure that this was not it!!!
and by his you know it’s jimin 
and why
why :(((( 
you wanna play dumb so bad or atleast just do something,, ANYTHING,, that u don’t have to do what chaeyoung wants you to and is practically obliging u to because after all you aRE jimin’s PA
“sure.”
:)
oh god why are you doing this :((
you’re walking over to where jimin’s sat at and you are having second thoughts about this 
chaeyoung could walk to jimin herself like damn :/
maybe u could still back out
you peek behind you over your shoulder and she’s actually looking at you with a small smile taunting you as if what u think you’re doing miss gO do what i told you to do!!
jimin’s all snug in his booth and he looks a bit tipsy by now judging by the slight flush on his cheeks and how from here you can hear his giggles and they’re even more infectious when he’s drunk
you are just gonna pOp right there in the booth and the security that’s kinda sprawled around them lets you pass through easily because jungkook waved them off and he’s throwing you in a confused and a giddy smile
“jimin, chaeyoung wants you to go to her by the bar.”
say no baby
please
“chaeyoung?!!”
ok fuckie no
sAY SIKE 
jimin looks excited??? shocked even??? and you don’t know how to react either 
but you’re sure that there’s this monster again because he looks interested and it’s clearly piqued his attention :((
“jimin....???”
wait
oh right that is kIM TAEHYUNG
you hear him trail out with his eyes narrowed and you’re a bit dumbfounded because he’s uh injecting himself to the conversation 
also this was his your first ever interaction with him
hoseok pops in his head to your line of sight to make his being known
“hmmmmm,,.,.,, jimin???”
what is happening right now
the both of them are throwing looks to jimin and you’re genuinely confused as to why
they’re communicating with their eyes and it literally looks like it
jimin’s throwing you a skeptical look and he clears his throat and you’re fully giving in your attention!!! there’s just something that-
“mr. park, y/n. mr. park.”
...
oh
that’s,,,
that feels bad in your gut
it’s been years ever since you called jimin as mr. park
and it puts a bad taste on your mouth with the context that’s given because basically
taehyung and hoseok are so iffy about you and the idea of you, a personal assistant, call jimin by his first name
felt as if they were so repulsed with what you just called him and how you’re treating him so casually????
and to how, if you put it, jimin immediately switched from being a tipsy gentle being to a stern and authorative boss
“i don’t know why she called me jimin, actually. she could be a bit-...”
not to mention that jimin goes ahead and tattles of to how you’ve been lacking
right in front of you as he chats on to taehyung and hoseok while simultaneously getting up from his seat as he detaches little by little
you tuned out at that
your heart’s dropping from your chest and it does not feel good at all :((
jimin’s catching up to you because actually you’re leading him to chaeyoung since he didn’t know where she was and this was what you were supposed to do
you didn’t know you could walk this fast in heels but now you do
there’s a slight tug on your wrist and u had to snatch it real quick before it could ever tighten
“listen i just-...”
you suddenly feel so out of place and the fact that this certain scenario is happening doesn’t help at all
before jimin could ever finish though, chaeyoung’s already greeting him perkily and oh yeah she’s hugging him now
:)
just what you needed
someone literally whisks you away and when you look up it turned out that it was just jin
you could not be more thankful enough
there are definitely some tears pricking in your eyes aha
“there you are!! do you have your eyedrops with you? my contacts are getting dRY and-”
jin didn’t know who he was whisking you away from but he is sure that it was you who he’s grabbing by the arm and taking outside because of his eyedrop hunt
he’s a bit perplexed to see you all red-eyed and he has no words...???
maybe you’re the one who needs eyedrops??
“y/n are you-”
“nO NO NO i’m not crying :D”
nice save you got there
jin’s thoughts did a complete 180 and he’s frowning a bit in wondering what happened
“aww baby what happened??”
he gets lost even more because the moment he asked out loud, mORE tears come out and now he’s taking you in for a hug and his shirt’s getting all wet
the doors right behind the two of you burst open and it’s a confused-looking jungkook strolling behind it
he left because in the first place, the booth jimin was sitting at had enough security alone because hoseok and taehyung’s alone were already too much and nobody would really notice if he left
also he saw the whole chaeyoung approaching you thing unfold
not to mention that he heard every word of nonsense jimin was spewing and berating you right in front of his friends and he swears that his inner cheek is a bit bloodied from biting down so he wouldn’t explode on the older boy
“hey hEy how about we go to the rooftop, hm?? where there aren’t any people???”
jungkook is quick to suggest and jin immediately gets his point because anyone would get the wrong idea of why park jimin’s personal assistant is crying and is detached from him so yEAH why not!!!!
although there’s a hurdle because you’re still crying to jin’s shirt and it’s not really efficient to drag you to the elevator while you’re still face down right
“ok my turn!!!”
kook is really the problem-solver he loves that for him
he’s holding you upright by the arms and immediately presses you to his neck instead because you won’t stop!!!! and in this position not only would u not that tear up much to his very expensive suit jacket, but also!!! he gets to carry you efficiently to the elevator without breaking into a sweat because aha!!! your position is optimal for a snug carry!!!!
jin is rushing him and he’s looking to the elevator and behind the both of you to see if there’s anyone and if there were, there would surely be headlines to jimin’s name the very next day
the coast was clear!!
throughout the whole elevator ride, jin’s trying to coax out what happened from you and he’s just answered with sniffles :((
so tHEN he turns to kook and kook is trying his best to whisper out the summary of what happened, wITHOUT letting you hear what he was saying
and that’s hard because not only can you hear him, but also you can see his reflection right in the walls of the elevators
“later later shhh i’ll tell you laTER, hyung!!”
okay he may have said that a little too loudly and you kinda whimper
because you knew what jungkook was gonna tell jin and it’s a fresh dig at what happened all over again :(((
“i’m sorry i’m sorry dON’t cry y/n please :(((“ he’s bouncing you up and down like if you were to burp a baby and jin smacks him upright in the head
he may not be helping at carrying you right now but he dID make you stop crying and giggle instead for a bit so yes jin is essential like that
he even helps via adding the mMmph when kook’s plopping you down on one of the fluffy sofas by the pool
jin was gonna step in and try to get some more pillows from stealing the pillows from those individual chairs but he didn’t need that since you’re already contorting ur body to a lil ball of sadness
oh
“sO?????” kook throws a blank look to when jin left you and deemed that u weren’t gonna do anything in your position so he could go ask
“what do you mEAN so??? wHAT HAPPENED IDIOT”
“oH!!!! :O”
jungkook proceeds to tell what he’s witnessed in detail he even memorized the dialogue almost word per word and that jimin really painted you as a fool right in front of taehyung and hoseok
“this assistant — sometimes can’t realize that i’m her boss and not my equal.”
that was a low blow
that was sUCH a low blow that even jin winced and kook flailed with him as he reacted to the retelling of the story
“no way!! jimin said THAT?! i can’t-“
“THAT WASN’T THE END OF IT EITHER!!”
“i don’t know with this one, taehyung. this one’s probably in love with me so she’s chasing me around everywhere.”
????
no
no fucking way
so that’s why you can’t stop crying :((
you felt so ridiculed and belittled
embarrassed is too light of a word by now
you aren’t aware of how much time has passed that the three of you were hanging around in this deck for a balcony, one that you’ve been let into with no question because they knew you three and who you worked for, that both jin and jungkook are coaxing you into bringing you to your respective rooms
four rooms were booked for each of you and as jimin explained prior, it was because you’re all gonna be knackered from this party to the point no one would be in the capacity to drive home
yeah that came in handy now jungkook accepts your hand that’s holding on to his arm and you know that the both of them are looking at you in pity
u see this roofdeck is one of the many roofdecks in this whole hotel one that belonged to the floor you all were staying at
jin was just about to push one of the many doors and-
it was too quick
almost too quick but not too slow that you see a giggling jimin and chaeyoung jogging down the hallway that was adjacent to the glass that enclosed this deck
felt as if the whole scene was playing in your head in slow motion you hATED it
they stopped at one point when chaeyoung was tripping over her heels and jimin did a natural thing:
to swoop her from her feet and carry her bridal-style as they disappeared from your point of view
…..
“maybe they’re just gonna play scrabble!! uh ya let’s not jUMp into conclusions!!”
jungkook breaks the tensioned silence and instead of scolding him, jin just looks up at u to gauge your reaction
you look even more concerning now
because you have no reaction at all
the two of them absolutely don’t know what to say or how they’re gonna cope up with this whole thing and-
“i’m sleepy.”
kook almost jumps up at your voice because that’s the first time he’s heard you speak
jin tries to be as nonchalant as possible as he appeases your desire to completely pretend as if none of this happened and he has his hand on your back as he fishes for the keycards for the three of your rooms in his pocket
“here’s eyedrops, by the way. i have your brand in my other bag, though. do you want it? i could get it for you. hold on let me just-“
he forgot the eyedrops at this point
he’s a lil bit speechless because despite all of that
how come did you manage to still remember his eyedrops and worry about him instead of you who’s had atleast five different mental breakdowns from the last hour alone
you’re still putting other people before you regardless if they’re jimin or not kinda kills seokjin as you hurriedly go into your room and he can hear u rummage through bags just to give him his preferred brand of eyedrops :((
“are you guys hungry? i brought some snacks so we don’t have to buy it expensively from the minibar. do you-“
ok even this sight is tugging at jungkook’s heartstrings so he basically almost pounces and clamp his hand on your wrist
“no, no. no need, okay? j-just rest, y/n. don’t worry about us.”
so you did
you did rest
and then the day after that
kook was driving all of you home later into the noon when everyone was feeling less of their hangovers
you were only light with that part since there were more happenings into that night that made you sink
the drive back home was off
jin let you sit in the front seat so he could be stuck with jimin in the back because he’s figured that you’ve been through eNOUGH ok
uh jimin didn’t find that weird
what he found weird however was that everyone was a bit silent
yeah jin and kook were still talking to him and trying to keep up conversation but you weren’t
you just had your hands glued to your lap and that was it
he kept looking at the rear view mirror every five seconds to catch your gaze and uH jungkook was ???? what jimin what do u want
did he do something?
because he felt like he did something
u weren’t lingering around him when you all came down to eat at the breakfast buffet
you didn’t even fight him when he stole a waffle from your plate and he was almost ready to give it back because that should be your cue to fight him, right???
he has this particular order of coffee from the hotel you were staying at and now that he thinks about it, it was JIN !!! it was jin who gave it to him and not you!!
you know what
you may just be a bit spaced out because you’re still having a hang-over
:D it’s ok :D
jimin understands :D
even when you all come into the door and the event organizer rings the bell and delivers all the presents that he’s got for the night
and you don’t come down to open it with them
or when tomorrow is an off-day for all of you since he doesn’t have any gig and you come home to your flat and not stay at his house instead
jimin was a bit perplexed at that because you rarely ever came home during your off-days
he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that you came home and
he’s just loitering around the house
what is he supposed to do
:((
the next day? you called in sick
he became more worried then!!! you barely did that and sURE you do get sick a couple of times but with how selfless and dedicated you were, you still worked!!! you put a mask on it and drink your medicine and work!!!
and not that jimin was being selfish because he expected you to still do that
actually he’s all :) because your wellbeing should come first before him and he’s happy that you’re prioritizing that more now and allowing yourself to take a sick leave!!
but he can’t help thinking that you know.,.,.,
what if you weren’t sick and you were just avoiding him :((
he feels it in his GUT
he fends for himself for the day and it’s kinda overwhelming because things without you.,.,,. whew,.,. they r a mess
he realizes more than ever that you do so much and all he does is sit around in comfortable chairs and sip on some juice while doing his job and tHAT WAS IT
fuck jimin and his yearning for u so he just decided to text you the whole day
he gave updates about his day!!
[ i miss my seatmate in this breakfast nook :(( ]
[ hiii!! did you wake up already? jk’s driving me to set now ]
[ do you have a fever btw?? pls text me if you need anything ]
[ y/n!! they have your favorite snacks on the catering table!! hehe i’m bringing home some for you :D ]
[ not unless you have a sore throat then i will totally not feed u them ]
[ just wrapped up my shoot. it was quick ]
[ i saw a labrador in the street today!! ]
[ hi it’s time for dinner and u haven’t replied yet. are you okay?? are you over at the doctor’s?? ]
[ are we okay? ]
jimin went to sleep sad and uneasy that night
he felt really empty and hollow and his first thought was to get up and go to your room and knock on your door and-
oh
that’s right
you aren’t there
.... you aren’t there
he hastily rises from bed and just takes his phone with him and walks the way to your door
it’s exactly how you left it
without any second thoughts, jimin tucks himself to your bed
this eases him wordlessly and lessens the noise in his head 
because even if you aren’t here, this does remind him of you because after all this is your room 
and he sleeps
then sleeps
and he almost wishes that he should’ve done it continiously because he woke up to kook eating breakfast and when he asked for you, jungkook was just pouting
“oh. y/n didn’t come in yet.”
he didn’t receive a text from you saying that you were about to take another sick leave though
he is seriously deciding to come to your house at this very moment
jimin wants to bury himself in his pillows
but tHEN he hears a car pull up on his driveway and then the front door open and !!! 
IT’S YOU!! :D
he is too slow with his reactions because jungkook automatically leaps from his seat and attack you with a hug and jimin’s just standing by the breakfast nook still in shock
://// shouldn’t i be the one doing that :////
“oohMpHgHF hi to you too, koo”
he is still in the background about to intervene because jungkook is giving you too many kisses on the cheek but he already scrambles since he said that he was gonna go fetch jin from the backyard because he’s trying out planting some potatoes and gingers
he finally has you to himself!! 
although you walk over to him first than him doing the same so he just smiles and was about to-
“can i talk to you upstairs?”
:O
oh?
oHHHHHH????
jimin may be a tad bit confused but he doesn’t mind and immediately agrees
he thinks it’s because you wanna do something that you don’t want jin and kook seeing??? oh??
he hugs you the moment you lift your foot from the last step and he doesn’t remember the last time he hugged you!! he’s gonna squeeze you to oblivion and-
oh
your fists are in between your bodies while he’s hugging you tightly and that’s when jimin freezes in realization that something really was wrong as he pulled off from you slowly
he least expected that your hands aren’t around him but rather holding a piece of paper for him to take
your letter of resignation
a copy of it, rather
he takes it from your grasp and jimin outright gets chills in his body because this format is oddly familiar to him and god the moment he has his eyes glaze over to the confirming words to what he thought the paper was about in the first place
“what do you mean?”
he skims the paper again and back to your face and you’re not breaking into a smile and
“what do you mean you’re resigning?”
at this point he can’t bring himself to read the paper all over again because jimin can’t wrap his head around it
and most definitely, jimin refuses to accept it
you’ve thought long and hard about this throughout the free hours you had
you didn’t want to be drastic but god did you feel that you had no way out of this whole dilemma
it’s hard to keep up with the troubles in your heart and consciousness if you see the cause for it every single day
jimin completely trampled over you that day :((
every single thing and thought you did and had came back to you in the form of embarrassment and remorse 
you are completely willing to quit your job 
it wouldn’t be that bad, ya know?? you’re pretty known anyway being park jimin’s PA and job opportunities are probably gonna be bombarding you left and right!! right??
or maybe it would be the complete opposite and you just quit the greatest job you could ever have in your whole lifetime
you took this up to mr. and mrs. park’s personal assistant because after all, they were the ones who hired you and are paying you, not jimin
“greener pastures, mr. park.”
by now is jimin completely panicking
completely losing his mind and he’s starting to sputter and pace around little by little
“is this about the pay?? i-i can double what my parents give you monthly.”
did he-
did he just-
he’s striking point after point in the notepad in your mind and fuck u might actually cry with how you’re in so much disbelief
it’s not about the money at all!!!
it’s to what he did and how insensitive he became and how he doesn’t even think it’s worth apologizing for because at the moment, jimin thinks it’s about money!!!
money and material and not emotions and feelings!!
“jimin you are fucking insufferable.”
his mouth goes dry at that 
you’re looking at him with so much evident hurt that he felt like crumbling on the spot and he so badly wants to know what he’s done 
“why are you like this, jimin?? i don’t get to how you could be attached to me and sLEEP beside me in my bed and the moment you’re in your own rICH bubble with your rich as hell friends you’re immediately repulsed!!! it’s like you don’t even know me!!”
“a-and hOW you still didn’t stop berating me in front of taehyung and hoseok!! you completely made me a fool out of me just to appease them and you think that’s normal?? you tHINK it shouldn’t be worth apologizing for!!”
“y/n, you don’t get it, okay? i had to-”
“jimin you just can’t say you loaf -- you can’t say that you LOVE me after you get your damn wisdom teeth pulled! i don’t even know if you remember saying that but gOD i can’t stand it anymore! i can’t stand the fact that i love you and i think you love me and the next second that i feel we’re gonna be something more, you go with chaeyoung!! you take her to your hotel room and you cARRY her in your arms as if you don’t come to me crying when you’re sad! o-or as if you didn’t say that you love me and i-”
you are so heated
sO beyond heated :((
you had no parking words in mind and god you’re pretty sure you’re already tearing up by now aND fuck jungkook and jin could never be more confused to have you hurriedly bumping to them in your dash out the door
jimin has never felt this way
he never did
he probably never will with any other person
:((
you’ve found a new job!! :D
you gave yourself a week of doing absolutely nothing and also since you were avoiding the fact that what if you can’t find any other job that came close this
you landed on the first try though hehe
it was to be a personal assistant to min yoongi!!
yoongi who’s this top-notch model and renowned aLLLL over the fashion industry and has broken the internet many times with how powerful he is aha
he has a secret 
one that he’s made you sign a non-disclosure agreement for 
he’s actually producer suga and has been behind cOUNTLESS bops and no one even knew who he really is and that made the hype for him even tenfold
although he may have another secret you jUST can’t place it yet
“u know what mr. min i think u may have been a rapper in your past life”
“....... what makes you..... w-what makes you say that”
that was one of the first ever things you’ve said to him upon hiring you and he instantly knew that you were gonna click with him
he lets you call him yoongi!! or whatever nickname you could think of as long as it doesn’t sUCK
yoongi only has you, a PA, as secondary help
anything else, he does it himself
his schedule’s less damnding than j*min’s and he was generally more lax even if aha he is one of the most in-demand people as min yoongi the model and suga the producer and [ insert name ] for [ field u think he dabbles in but aren’t sure of ]
you aren’t a live-in PA for him
most days he calls you over at 8 am and a little early than what his calltime is
if he doesn’t need u, he just sends you home because he’s cool like that :D
you answer some e-mails and forward him the most important ones!!
you come with him mostly whenever he shops for groceries and yeah he likes having u around because u dO know your stuff
and u make some suggestions on what he should cook for dinner because he’s running out of ideas and when u recommend something you thought of at the top of your head (even tho it might be a lil stoopid), yoongi goes.,,.,,
“.. hmm. i didn’t think of that....”
meanwhile
jin and jungkook have been texting you updates about jimin
they were very :(( about your decision but ok,,, it’s cool they guess,,, this would be better for you,,, probably,,,,,
they miss you so much :((
you’ve agreed to allot about 98% of your time with them aS LONG AS you spend them outside and not within the threshold of jimin’s property 
they instantly agreed to that aha :D
[ day two: no one is allowed to sit on your seat and jin-hyung almost sat on it and jimin almost bawled to his cereal ]
[ day four: everything is a mess and i sWEAR i saw u as jimin’s lockscreen ]
[ day five: the new PA is here and idk whether jimin’s gonna choke him or not i rlly can’t tell ]
kim namjoon!!
he’s the new PA as to what jin and kook gossip to you
namjoon feels so foreign to jimin he actually can’t take it
the systems aren’t the same!!
namjoon is organized to the point that he just pops out exactly ten minutes before a certain doing and isn’t hanging around with jimin that much 
although when he does linger around jimin, jimin gets iRRITATED
he is so composed!! prim and proper and he hates it ok
namjoon doesn’t joke with him 
one time jimin accidentally tripped on his feet and he would’ve giggled too if namjoon did but this guy.,.,,. this guy literally just deadpanned
“you should probably double-tie your shoelaces, mr. park.”
inhal exhale inhALE eXHALE IN-
this guy!!! tHIS guy!!! yA he is getting on his nerves 
he’s too great at his job and it’s not that you aren’t great at it too
in fact u were excellent
but this namjoon guy is just tOO namjoon for his own sake that jimin’s making his name an adjective and a verb at this point
he’s probably gonna come around to him at some point
maybe so much so that he’ll let him drop off the mr. park title
it’s been a little over three weeks ever since you left
and that bit of time has been the saddest and emptiest he’s been in record time of his life
he’s never faltered in trying to reach out :((
he still texts you daily and tries out calling you once every night when he knows you’re about to sleep
he hasn’t heard from you in awhile and whenever he asks either jin or kook, they just shrug as if they’re clueless
news has come out that basically speculated you not being his PA anymore after he was spotted out several times that you weren’t there with him
he was pouting when he read those rumors that APPARENTLY you were seen out and about with this min yoongi and ur being linked as a girlfriend
he refuses to believe that
no jimin will never believe that :D
rumors are just rumors and besides maybe you were just being a social butterfly and u suddenly bUMPED to world-renowned min yoongi in the street and you were just walking beside each other at the same pace while coincidentially looking at him and making it seem that you were talking but actually not :)
park jimin refuses to be replaced by min yoongi :((
although it doesn’t help, really
doesn’t help when he learns that wait
hold on he needs to emphasize
MIN YOONGI IS INCLUDED IN THIS JOINT MODEL SHOOT HE’S ALSO IN
aha fate surely isn’t in his side
the most he’s cared about is that taehyung and hoseok were included in this shoot and although he’s not exactly too keen with them ever since the mr. park incident, he’s albeit a little thankful that there’s some sense of familiarity in this whole shoot
the shoot was for a very high-class watch brand and it’s to be done in both solos and some pairs and groups to stress enough that this is high-class ok
sure he still has his cool knowing that this yoongi is here although he can’t help but to feel a little bit intimidated
jungkook and namjoon are here with him so yeah it’s like cool 
jimin’s in one of the chairs in the massive communal prep room to get his hair and make-up done and oNE chair away from him is yoongi
god look at how he looks so lax scrolling on his phone while jimin keeps looking at him slyly every ten seconds
“mr. min and mr. park? the both of you are up.”
gr8 the two of them are paired up!!
yoongi catches jimin’s gaze and sends him a lil smile as he hops down from his chair
ok this yoongi guy is really polite it’s actually annoying because that gives him more reason to unlike him
yoongi stops by his chair and it’s oHHHHHH he’s waiting for jimin to hop out of his too so the both of them could go to set together
“hey man nice to meet you! i’m yoongi :]”
“aHA oHhHh so you’re yoongi! i’m jimin. nice to meet you too.”
oh damn he feels like crying
they shake hands for a bit and even pulls him in for a side bro hug and wait yoongi smells like cologne? damn
you see
yoongi knows about jimin too :))
you don’t know what it is with yoongi but you swear he’s immediately crawled himself to your heart just by a couple questions that weren’t invasive at all and then you’re suddenly opening up to him about the whole thing with jimin!!
this was at the fifth day mark when he decided to ask you and then suddenly it’s your boss who’s patting your back and saying words of enlightenment to you
and he brought you into this shoot :D
yoongi hasn’t made it known to you yet that uh jimin is here tho
all you know is that yoongi has his shoot here and that’s enough information for you to know as a PA
look at him!! all dressed-up snazzily with a watch more expensive than your life 
you found it adorable that yoongi can sometimes just be so stoic but when it comes to shoots like these he gets very in the zone 
if the director needs yoongi to be giggly and bubbly? he will be on with it
if the director needs yoongi to look both intimidating yet somehow a lil bit approachable like right now?? he will SERVE
yoongi was put on first for a solo and jimin was just called to prepare because they’re gonna do the pair shoot right after
jimin’s sitting down on a chair yet again as he watches yoongi work that watch :((
he’s not wearing his yet because it’s really expensive and although insured and it’s for a shoot and they’re gonna get some goodies from the brand anyway and it may be the watch they’re modelling, nobody wants him to trip and have it scratched
“yoongs can i have that?”
yoongi’s sat down on the nearest makeup chair for a touch-up and you can clearly see the key makeup artist that’s set on a hUUUUGE bag that’s opened midway and omg those are really good ones :((
he bows slightly at that and waits for her to leave so he could open the bag without seeming rude hehe
that is the SAME foundation you’ve been eyeing for awhile and have been seeing rave reviews about and u r pretty sure that is your shade
you sQUEAK 
“yoongs can i have that?”
“lemme borrow your powerbank and it’s a deal.”
you love this 
you are really loving this deal to the point u are already scrambling to go back to your tote bag on that stool that was provided for you
“yoongs can i have that?”
jimin freezes at that the moment his ears picked those words up it’s too familiar and it’s something he’s missed so dearly and- that’s you!!
jimin’s already scrambling to his feet and his own chair almost breaks at that but he doesn’t care because this is you!! this is you that he’s talking about and he’s not gonna waste any more chances that he has left
“okay! right on cue, mr. park! it’s time for your shoot with mr. min.”
he gets scurried over to the actual set and he keeps wriggling out because you’ll always be more important than any other thing
“no no you don’t understand!! it’s just that-”
“yOONGIIIIII here’s the powerbank i-”
oh
you didn’t expect that at all
that’s jimin standing next to yoongi who is equally as frozen as you
and even yoongi has his mouth parted open slightly as he watches this interaction unfold
that’s cool
that’s nice
that’s fire
neither of you move and it’s the shutter of the camera that brings everyone out of the trance
you are just gonna.,.,,, stand at your place
jimin is just gonna.,.,.,. model this watch
yoongi is just gonna.,.,, stay as a rock throughout this whole ordeal as he’s gonna feel out whether he should tease you about this later on or not now that he’s seeing you in the flesh, he doesn’t know what to do at all 
he’s thought of this for so long that now the opportunity is present, he doesn’t know at all on how to enact
he has a lot of things in his mind ok
first of all, he settles that he doesn’t have any pride and he doesn’t mind at this point because again, it is you
second, you don’t even need to ask him if you can have something like what you’re doing with yoongi now!!!
third, he is trembling
jimin’s doing this “pretending to unbutton my cuffs and therefore highlight my watch” pose to try and stable his hand for one bit
yoongi leans one elbow to jimin’s shoulder and they both do this smoulder thing
he is talking through his teeth in desperation because the director said for them to try out some smiles ya know
“yoongi please tell me you’re not dating y/n and if you are i respect that but pls know that i will nOT stop at anything to take her away from you”
:D
“lol i enjoy her company and we aren’t dating but she, however, is mY personal assistant”
:D
that’s a big thorn out of his chest but it’s still somehow a dilemma because although you’re still a PA, it’s just not for him :((
and finally the shoot wraps and jimin is scurrying the moment it was called out that they’re done 
the first thing u do is scurry behind yoongi and hand him his tissues from behind and god he is the one adjusting
yoongi is getting caught in the middle of the two of you and he doesn’t know if he’s happy being in the literal center of attention or annoyed because you’re using him as a human shield without even being sly about it
“y/n, please. just give me-”
he is getting jostled in the middle and he’s even more intimidating than
jimin when he gets all shaken around 
“yA YA YA STOP IT!!”
he has only met jimin once and he already knows enough that he’s a handful
he’s eVEN playing mediator at this one
yoongi sighs as he reaches his verdict and pulls you by your arm because you’re behind him and just carefully, he leans down to whisper by your ear and makes sURE to look at jimin because lmao he deserved that
“five minutes. i’m giving you five minutes that you can spend before you go out to the garage and it’s up to yOU on how and with whom you’re gonna spend those five minutes with.”
damn 
yoongi’s already leaving you with no choice and he even yanks out the tote bag in your shoulder but not before fishing out his hydroflask that you bought him as he takes a hefty sip and even gets to wave at you and wink at jimin
jimin is in disbelief goddamn how dARE this yoongi :O
why does he have his own hydroflask
why does he 
that’s a y/n and jimin thing!! not a y/n and yoongi thing!!
the most you do is let jimin guide you to atleast a private place because
you don’t want to be dragged in to rumors by staff members who could tattle on what they see
you’re so antsy with this and jimin is beyond nervous
fuck ok how does he do this
“y/n, i-...”
“jimin, i can’t talk to you.”
oh okay he gets shot down before he could get a sentence in his eyes immediately bulge as he tries to appeal but not before you interrupt him again
“.. right now.”
he may or may not have hope here
you can’t avoid jimin forever and as much as you want to hear his voice, you really can’t because not only are you not ready, but also because-
“yoongi has another shoot today, and i have to go.”jimin’s eyes gloss at 
that and a whine bubbles in his throat because who knows when and where he’s gonna see you again and if you’d even let him to
he’s trying to paw at you and take a step closer but you’re already walking away
:((
jimin knows more than better now the gravity of what he’s done to you and how stupid and how much of an asshole he was on his part
knows more than better that he indeed loves you and that he shouldn’t give up no matter how much you turn him down
he misses you so much these days
he projects your face to namjoon’s body in his mind and that’s good
enough for him to not be irked he’s unknowingly picked up all your mannerisms and he hasn’t even noticed 
god does he miss you so much :((
misses you so much that he’s found himself driving to that ramen place with the intention of eating what he should’ve eaten when you took him there
yes he’s gonna wallow in self-loathing later on because he’s gonna reminisce about what he did and what happened here the last time but it’s worth it he thinks :D
what he didn’t expect however was to see it more packed than usual and isn’t that -- 
jungkook?? and jin?? 
seokjin is outright choking on his dumplings and jungkook is giggling with the boiled egg in his mouth as he repeatedly pUNCHES his back and truthfully he doesn’t know if it would help but eh it’s the thought that counts 
jin is on his break which is why he doesn’t feel pressured at all, but what he does have pressure for is elbowing jungkook to look up at jimin and this time he chokes on his boiled egg
“jungkook.,.,., you said that you were gonna take a leave,.,,,. because you had an important family business to attend to.,.,.”
“ʸᵉˢ ʲᶦᵐᶦⁿ⁻ʰʸᵘⁿᵍ.,.,,. this is an important family business.,.,,.,”
...
this guy
god tHIS guy he swears..,.,,
before he could even wack jungkook in the head, he gets interrupted once more and this time it’s a welcome interruption and not just the sounds of jungkook choking on iced tea this time
“i got more dumplings!!! seojoon gave us more soup!!! oKAY OKAY make some room-”
“jimin?”
you might as well get bonked in the head now 
seojoon’s place is closing down and this is the last time you’d ever get to eat meals here :((
it’s the reason to why you and jin and kook decided to assemble as quICK as seojoon made a groupchat for the four of you to deliver the news :(((
he’s moving to another place to open a bigger and better that ramen place there but he can’t keep up two of them at the moment so he’s decided to let go :((
it’s the reason to why you certainly aren’t gonna leave, noah fence, just because of jimin 
this closing is just on par with his presence 
jin and kook are just now realizing the dilemma and they swear they’re gonna choke on tempura with how they’re both in anticipation and curiosity as to what would happen
jin’s letting you sit beside him now but later he’s gonna push you to jimin at full-speed if the both of you don’t talk it out now
“as long as your food isn’t finished — i-i get to talk and hopefully you listen.”
:(
...
“okay.”
the booth...
the booth isn’t all that spacious
jin and jungkook are clearly not reading the room and if they were, they’re pretending not to because they aren’t gonna sacrifice seojoon’s last dishes that they’re gonna taste for the time being just so the both of you could make up lol
ok think think tHINK
that’s it!!
jimin’s pulling out his phone and is calling you and he’s throwing you a thumbs-up before he scrambles outside
it’s really cold outside and his hoodie just isn’t cutting it but it’s whatever :)) it’s you
“i didn’t remember saying that i loved you.”
ok that is qUITE the intro and now you’re the one who’s choking on your ramen
“and i hate that i don’t remember it because of the anesthesia; but believe me when i say that i do love you -- under anesthesia or not.”
“i’m truly truly sorry that i treated you so badly in front of taehyung and hoseok. i, uh, i was too prideful when i was with them and i felt like i always need to prove myself to them and y’know what?? i don’t need to prove myself to them!! a-and y’know what? i told them off! and i told them about how we are and how one’s disposition shouldn’t be the determining factor on how they treat people!!”
jimin kinda looks like a madman with how there’s so much passion in his voice and how he even has accompanying gestures even if you aren’t outside to witness it personally
“they apologized and i told them that they need to apologize to you a-and just give me a date and a time if you’re ready to hear them out bUT you know??? this isn’t about them for the meantime it’s about me apologizing!!”
“i want you to know a-and y/n please i swear on everything, chaeyoung and i -- nothing happened. she was drunk and she wanted me and i politely told her no!! countless of times!! she was starting to make a scene so i just agreed to take her upstairs to my room bUT it’s to lock her there!! oKAY i know that doesn’t sound very nice but-”
“i kept telling her about you and how i do love you but she kept clinging on and forcing herself on me!! a-and i was about to call kook but i didn’t see him so i called hotel security and i didn’t see you too and thEN right after i completely cut ties with her!!”
“i get it if -- i get it if you don’t want to forgive me though because i’ve hurt you so badly and i have to suck it up nonetheless but i need you to know that i love you a-and i’ve never loved someone eVER this much before and i’ve never been so sure.”
...
...
“come inside, jimin. eat dinner with me.”
:D
there’s a learning curve that both of you have to go through you’ve made it very clear that you aren’t gonna quit as yoongi’s PA with much frowns from jimin but aight ok he’s gonna try and understand because you do love working with yoongi and with his schedule, you aren’t chained to work almost 24/7
namjoon and jimin are slowly but surely warming up to each other as you dropped by briefly when it was your off-day and you instantly hit it off with him
jimin’s huffy because you are really something else and he doesn’t come close
he really kills it with apologizing and changing for the better!! likes to spoil you with gifts all of a sudden and you always point out to him that they r very unnecessary and he kNOWS that but he just wants to shower you with things and his love that’s all :)
he makes it up beyond words and beyond actions and for a fact he is also proud of himself like you are with him because it’s rare!! that someone of his status would strip his pride just to have someone’s full forgiveness
jimin however never stops being whiny and needy aha
like to how he has his hands covering your eyes and you keep asking him on wHAT he’s doing and where he’s taking you and at one point, he keeps one hand on both your eyes and one covering your mouth and that earns him a lick and he isn’t even bOTHERED
“okay okAY calm down jagi we’re here!!!!”
“one.”
“jimin if this is a horror movie i will really replace you with yoongi”
“nO and two.”
“fuck this is really making me nervous omg i think i need to pee oh my g od jimin pls i-“
“three.”
wait
this is-
“that ramen place. this is now your ramen place. our ramen place, if you want.”
oh my god
oH MY GOD
you see
jimin’s been talking back and forth with seojoon unbeknownst to you, he’s been helping with all this process of seojoon opening up his new ramen place in the city proper and it’s all expensive and kinda tricky
without even doubting, jimin’s paid for most of his requirements and needs overnight and seojoon was like yOU BARELY EVEN KNOW ME
and jimin explained that it was because easily the best meal he’s ever had in his life and even better than those restaurants he goes to and seojoon was aha :D really :D
and then jimin casually slid in the conversation about that ramen place that seojoon decided to close down and one thing led to another and here it is
again :D
seojoon’s entrusted that place to jimin and he’s his first official shareholder (and probably the only one he’s ever gonna have bc he trusts no one else besides jimin because no one else is probably as genuine as him) and this could be considered as a franchise!!!
the permits are all taken care of and the head chef seojoon’s gonna be trusting and jimin’s thinking of? seokjin :D although he’s gonna propose the offer later (spoiler alert: jin cried and said yES)
the spot is all empty and it’s nothing that some furniture and flooring and jimin’s wallet can’t fix
but it is this
jimin’s too busy explaining the process that he doesn’t notice you being absolutely awed and even cRYING :(((
before he knows it, you are actively leaping at him and he easily catches you as he hooks his hands under your bum to secure you into place jimin’s on the receiving end of a rather desperate deep kiss and he giggles to how you even won’t let go of him and how your grip tightens even more
“i love you.”
he is all so loved up right now that he feels like he’s gonna cry and moan at the same time as he returns the favor of nipping at your bottom lip
“i love you too.”
your fingers are most definitely getting tangled in his hair and when you and jimin practically shudders when you give it a little tug
“if buying restaurants is what it takes for me to taste your kisses and then pOSSIBLY get laid then fucking hell i’m gonna buy you one everyday
bELIEVE ME”
“you’re insufferable”
hehe
“i know :))”
jimin’s letting you catch your breath for the meantime, his hands still securing you against him as he peppers kisses to your cheek very eagerly 
“especially spoiled for you though.”
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to the anon that sent me an essay, this is for you
to everyone else, idk what this is
from anon:
here are a few things ive thought of to an obsessive level but these are completely non-bts related so u can choose to skip it. hell, you knew u that already.
1. before becoming parents or after emerging into adulthood everyone should be sent to therapy. sometimes i question if it is to fill the gaps their childhood has blown wide open that adults have children. or is it to fulfill some moral responsibility they have to simply reproduce. if its the first, to think about it, is kind of fucked up. you are depriving your child a stable future, creating replicas of exactly what you suffered, if u are not stable yourself.
You know, probably. People have kids for a number of reasons, not all if them good. I am a product of such a cycle, generations that used physical and emotional punishment on their own children to lash out their frustrations in life. The easiest one to bully is the offspring you made, because they don't know any better. They think that's how life is, because that's how life always was. I suffer for it, all the time. But, you know, therapy does nothing if you don't want it. You have to be willing to listen to be helped.
Most people are not willing to listen or change. That's the big problem.
2. its sad how the whole ' one in a million ' concept is staring at me. haruki murakami said mediocrity is constant. that thought haunts me everyday becuase of how many people are just a sea of faceless creatures as the world decides which one is the outlier. its the scariest thing i have ever felt, but it is inevitable. mediocrity should be normalized. there is an exorbitant amount of pressure in youth to produce and create and every other teenager is doing mun and every other adult is in the medical field, but at the cost of what? sure, you just saved the world, but did you save yourself?
Everyone is in outlier which makes nobody special. Society has slowly but surely created the idea that people need to be better than others, the idea that "better" must exist. To want more. And why is that?
Money.
Why is everyone pressured to make a product? To monetize their hobbies? To "do work you love"? Why is this the ideal? Because someone wants to profit from you. Someone is always greeding for more, more, so they make you feel this need as well, feeding off your futile attempts to be the "prefect you" but the perfect you doesn't exist. Why is it that every outlier put on a pedestal feels disillusioned / pressured or greedy / selfish? Because you've been tricked, feeling sad and deflated that you can't achieve something that isn't real.
3. middle class. im part of it. we're probably the most entitled section of society there is. it is so amusing to me how we have basically everything we need to survive but always want more. its weird how the poorer sections dont have time to think about their lives at the stake of capitalist countries, while we're here thinking about everything in our day that has harmed us, complaining about shit that isnt even required to survive. my mind is bursting because im literally fucking typing / this / because i have the privilege to and im STILL . doing . it .
Entitled? Everyone feels entitled. Not just middle class. You think rich people don't want more? Pfft. Everyone wants more, simply because that's what were trained to think. Everything around us is always asking you to want more, tying your worth to what you have instead of what you are. Your worth equating to material possessions has been taught to you all your life from the media, all for the sake of profit. The worst is when they turn your own morals and ethics on you to monetize that as well.
4. i hope i dont forget everything that has ever happened to me. not because i'd want to hold it over peoples head. but because i really dont want to grow ignorant. i dont want to have hollow opinions and i dont want to live a life where its easy to be just as. i dont want to be in a herd of sheep.
You will forget. Neurons die all the time. It's a known fact memories get disorganized, remade, and blended with fantasy. You are organic, an imperfect machine. Even your memories are imperfect, only focusing on specific things and not the whole picture because human brains focus on what's important and not what is. This is a survival tactic and it's what causes you to polarize one way or another. Even you, telling me this right now, you are declaring "I want things to only be this way".
But, you know.
"Polarization is the ugliest flower in the world."
Your past and memory is not the only thing that shapes opinions. Agreeing with others is not being a sheep. Are you a sheep because you agree killing an innocent as a police officer is not okay? Sometimes ignorance is okay. You don't have to know everything. Sometimes it's better not to.
5. im really jealous of bts sometimes. its fucking insane. theyre so successful but they have and continue to endure so much shit from the world. passion. passion is the word i want to chop up and throw into a blender and smother in a fire. they have it. and i dont. they are so hardworking. its something ill never be.
They don't have to do anything. They can quit at any time. They choose not to for many reasons. You choose how much you can take and how much is too much. You chose who you are. There are many hardworking, passionate people you don't know, because they don't want to be known. Passion, hard work, these things exist in many forms, and not all of it is so exposed like it is with BTS.
And let's face it, not all of those things can be good. They said so themselves.
6. i think we should really stop saying 'well if u were in their place what would u have done'. we cant do what we havent been given the chance to experience. we cant think about what we wouldve done because we have lived our lives NOT doing it. i am living my life only one which way and there is no other way i can know yet.
We say this to help others realize that prespective is importamt. It is not about actually living it, but having the empathy to understand and see from another person's eyes. No one is asking you to be Dr. Strange and live all 5 million possibilities. You can think someone's actions / words are wrong but, in that moment, they didn't think that, either because they grew up a certain way or because certain things happened to them. You don't have to live the experience to have some level of understanding, even if imperfect.
im sorry for this brain dump , i dont really have anyone else im willing to talk to and i completly understand if u skip this. hope ur fine tho and taking care. love ur works !
I'm an INTJ. My brain never turns off. It's a curse. But thank you for enjoying my writing! Hope you liked this too LOL
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biblio-bitch · 4 years
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Detroit Evolution Commentary Pt. 3 [FINAL]
It’s been a while, sorry. Life sucks ass sometimes and I had to do some transferring to my new laptop. I’ll write down some more fun facts as an apology. Disclaimer: This is all stuff I noticed, inferred, or interpreted. I didn’t write the film, anything I’ve interpreted is just that, an interpretation based on things I noticed using my experiences and knowledge. 
Fun fact #1: I have attempted to write in a proper novel style at least five times. After watching DE and watching @octopunkmedia ‘s script breakdowns and such, I've started writing scripts instead. I’m much farther along in those than I ever have been in books. 10/10 amazing for my visual based concepts.
Fun fact #2: My mental health was rapidly declining and I was losing interest in quite literally everything at the time the film was released. Watching the film and fixating on it for a month straight not only inspired me but helped me regain control of my life. Watching streams by the cast and Michelle while I worked for school made my productivity skyrocket.
Fun fact #3: I recently developed a tic that I now can’t get rid of. It was out of control for about twenty minutes right before I began writing this post. However, when I began re-watching the film (partially because it’s a comfort for me and I’m quite honestly terrified of what’s happening in the US right now) it stopped. So that’s fun.
As usual, spoilers and swearing under the cut! Quick note: If there should be a trigger warning on this or anything else I post, please let me know! I’m horrible at remembering to tag triggers. I’ll also be doing some quick posts on Umbrella Academy and my severe obsession with Jason Todd soon. Have fun!
As usual, here’s a list of people I know the users of in case you’d like to check any of them out. I’m likely missing people so feel free to let me know who I’m missing so I can add them!
Maximilian Kroger - Nines (@ maximiliankroger)
Christopher (Chris) Trindade - Gavin (@ trindabago)
Michael Smallwood - Chris Miller (@ michaelsmallwoodforever)
Carla Kim - Tina Chen (@ carlahkim)
Jillian Geurts - Ada (@ jilbobaggins_nyc)
Michelle Iannantuono - (@ octopunkmedia)
JJ Goller - Lazzo (@ quasar.cos)
Brett Mullen - Cinematographer (@ brettmullendirector)
Austin Butts - Sound Design (@ austinbytts)
Tiare Solis - Valerie (@ tiareleiana)
So I decided to put all of the rest into this post. It’s a long one. Not even that sorry about it bc I love this film with my entire heart. Warning for me getting sidetracked. I use a lot of Supernatural references but it’s because I’m visiting my dad and he’s binge watching the show. I like Dean and only Dean, don’t bully me for it.
The Wrist Grip™️ in the bedroom before Nines moves back
Shoutout to Maximilian Kroger’s muscles u go dude
Lighting Symbolism™️, big theme through the movie, honestly I think it’s beautiful and they did a wonderful job with it.
The little nod from Gavin as he starts talking about his nightmare 
You can see Gavin gearing up to move, like not in a normal way, in a “oh god I don’t know if I have the energy to do this” way and that’s Relatable™️
The little smile from Nines as they sit together
The SHARK PLUSHIE I LOVE HIM (THE SHARK HAS AN INSTAGRAM @ sharktreuse)
Nines being domestic, making coffee and breakfast, being Soft.
Shirt change??? Either I’m blind or he’s wearing a different shirt in the morning (He is. He’s wearing a t shirt at night and a buttoned collar shirt in the morning. Perhaps he changed? He’s wearing normal pants so he probably changed but he’s not wearing that same shirt in the next scene)
Ada eye rolling at them being passive aggressive dumbasses. Same. Apparently Jillian kept fucking with them which is,, so valid. 
The lighting in this scene (the office pt. 2) makes Maximilian look Android-white and outlined in the CyberLife blue-ish color. Very symbolic, I have no idea if it was intentional.
Another shoutout, this time to Maximilian’s eyebrows, the expressiveness is *chef’s kiss*.
“You can thank me later, Casanova.” Nines: *confused Android noises* 
Honorable mention to Michael’s Foo Fighters t shirt in the bar, it’s vintage.
Nines is in fact wearing a different shirt now. Not the same shirt from the morning bedroom scene. I also think he’s wearing a different jacket. Less of a peacoat and more of a leather jacket. Nice.
Shoutout to Tina’s (not irl) wife, Valerie! And her weird crush on Hank! I honestly can’t wait to see her in Seven Deadly Synths!!
Ada DODGING the questions that Nines is asking because she is SHADY. 
Also, he looks to Gavin when he talks about wanting to be more human. Recurring theme of him perceiving himself as lacking because of his ace-ness/android-ness, like he can’t give Gavin what he wants. Honestly I know that the android thing is a thinly veiled metaphor for race in canon but I kinda like thinking of it as a metaphor for being LGBT+ and in Nines’ case, specifically ace. Might not make sense but it does in my brain??
Gavin Senses Are Tingling and Nines is GONE. Leaving the bar for ur not-bf to try to talk things out like adults??? King shit.
Also electric lighter, fun, I genuinely didn’t know those existed
SHIRT WITH UNBUTTONED COLLAR
“You don’t want to help me, you want to fix me.” What a loaded line. Because in a way, it’s almost true? Like, Nines has this entire simulation of Gavin in his ideal world, and obviously that version of Gavin has probably been idealized at least a bit. Nature of humanity, and Nines might not be human but he’s got the Brain Things. And at that moment, it’s nearly true that Nines wants Gavin to be like that ideal Gavin. Obviously Nines wants Gavin as Gavin, but there’s the edge of that simulation there, still. 
But Nines does want to help Gavin, and that’s where he’s wrong. Nines wants Gavin to get better, wants to help stop the nightmares, etc. But by pointing that out, I think it’s partially why Nines can accept letting go of Simulation!Gavin when Ada attacks him. Because he knows that the simulation of Gavin will never be the real Gavin, and this line sort of helps him understand that he can’t really keep Sim!Gavin anyways.
Again idk if that’s legit but that’s definitely something I felt from that while watching.
Nines is constantly very controlled, but when he walks away from Gavin you can see him straining to keep that composure and not let his anger show. 
Ada looking So Done With This Shit when Nines comes back from talking with Gavin outside of the bar
“I’m sure this will be like...every other time.” Oh honey. Oh my sweet child. I am so very sorry. It most definitely will not be.
Ada’s exasperated Eyebrow Raise before taking a drink. If that ain’t the mood sis.
I love Ada’s bat wings on her outfits. 
Gavin being a stalker and putting his hood up. 
“I’m...certain that most of the credit can go to you.” IMMEDIATE ANGER. Must Defend Boyfriend.
I SO WANTED HIM TO SAY “WISDOM” WHILE TALKING ABOUT GAVIN’S SKILLS BECAUSE IT WOULD MIRROR HIM TELLING GAVIN THAT HE ISN’T WISE BEFORE THEY LEFT FOR THE STAKEOUT. He didn’t, but instinct is a better word for Gavin anyways.
Nines has Suspicion™️...press X for doubt... 
*Only vaguely related rant warning*
I do feel that we as a fandom tend to make Connor almost childishly innocent despite him being likely one of the least kind and least innocent characters. The characterization of Nines in this--and pardon me for the off topic rant--where he’s a fully grown man and acts like it is so much more realistic. Nines is a cop, as is Connor. 
Even post deviancy, they were designed and equipped to handle murder. Nines, in a lot of fandom content, tends to come off as an exasperated older brother or a gritty and mean detective, or even worse, essentially a sociopath who feels nothing in contrast to Connor’s childish and extreme innocence. I dislike both. Seeing Nines be a normal fucking person is so relieving, I’m serious. There’s still those elements of ‘oh he’s only been properly alive for like a year, right? He probably doesn’t get Chris’ Casanova reference.’ but it’s not to such an extreme that it overtakes all of his personality traits.
Like, yeah, ok, I get why a lot of fandom content does that. In order to balance what we see Connor do (and in order to further push the Hank as a father line) we over-emphasize the not getting references and such. Honestly I see the same in content for Castiel from Supernatural. Nines, when he’s added, often HAS to be a lot darker in order to make that seem not as jarring and unrealistic.
Doesn’t mean I enjoy it. If you do? That’s great, good for you, but I don’t like seeing those characters be portrayed as such one dimensional extremes. People aren’t like that. On the off chance that someone is such an extreme, there’s still other aspects of their personality.
DE has done an amazing job at not flattening their personalities. Nines and Gavin are three-dimensional and incredibly interesting characters I find myself invested in every time I watch it.
*Onto the commentary again.*
Gavin is still being a stalker
“Particular fascination with the RK line” AHAHA funny. She’s also an RK, and she likely knows more than Nines because her programming is based on information gathering. Her fascination begins and ends with what their programming can do for her.
The little computer details in Ada’s eyes as she copies Nines’ OS, and again in Nines’ eyes when he’s in the alley alone. I believe Michelle did all of that and I am just amazed every time I watch. 
The warped voice effect.
Gavin shifting to hold Nines as soon as he passes out
The ethereal colored lighting is very good for the mood, space hospital vibes
Shoutout to the latex suit they put Maximilian in! That’s not CG! He’s wearing a full body white latex suit. I’m so sorry.
Gavin looks so tired talking to Dr. Maria. His posture is defensive, pulled into himself. Shoulders hunched, arms pulled in. Eye bags, messy hair. Boy looked messed up. Somebody hug him.
Nines’ hair being disheveled and messy in the corrupted Zen Garden, rivaling his assertion that in his ideal world (Aka the normal Zen Garden) his appearance is polished, signifying the loss of control and the loss of the Zen Garden being a safe, ideal space for him. Same concept with Sim!Gavin being corrupted.
Nines: *wakes up in his mindspace*
Also Nines, immediately: GAVIN!!1!!1
Nines believes in CONSENT!! You do not go into someone’s program without asking, ADA.
Ada’s “poor widdle baby” face as Nines is freaking out because she trapped him. Mood.
Tina wearing a low turtleneck and a flannel is Peak Gay, especially next to Gavin “I wear the same leather jacket+hoodie combo every single day and probably the same jeans for a month” Reed, aka the most disastrous and chaotic bisexual I have ever seen. Again, a mood, I honestly felt that one.
The face when Nines realizes that Ada isn’t deviant yet. 
Gavin is blaming himself somebody stop this idiot. 
“Not without Nines.” What a softie.
“The last thing I said to him was ‘I don’t need you’.” BITCH WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART.
Gavin calling Tina “T” in that soft voice is so sweet omg
Ugh the bisexual LIGHTING is KILLING ME, ESPECIALLY as Gavin sits at Nines’ bedside
Tina encouraging Gavin. WLW/MLM solidarity. 
Fun fact: Chris Trindade told Maximilian not to react at all to the big speech but Maximilian literally started crying during it and there’s footage somewhere of the Dramatic Single Tear rolling down his face while he’s still ‘in stasis’.
Yes, I double checked the streams to make sure I got this right, I love the concept though.
Look I cannot get into the speech because I will write 1.5k words on it, but I will say this: It made me cry. The acting, the writing, it’s iconic. The amount of love and devotion they got without even saying the words “I love you” was amazing. Chris is so very talented. 
THERES A TAKE WHERE GAVIN FALLS ASLEEP NEXT TO NINES’ HOSPITAL BED AKSDGAKL IM SCREAMING
Tina is the best wingman ngl
The glitches in Zen Gavin are amazing. The sequence when he’s deleting the Zen Garden is also amazing. I use amazing a lot but it’s deserved.
Nines deleting the Zen Garden and Sim!Gavin is very symbolic of letting go of all of the fake stuff, letting go of the fear he was holding that kept him from confessing to Gavin and I love that
Nines sitting silently straight up. 
Gavin is highly intelligent and I’m so glad Octopunk embraces that. 
*another vaguely related rant warning*
Ok let me tell y’all a thing because this RUINS MY LIFE. People tend to take characters like Percy Jackson or Dean Winchester, whose intelligence isn’t outwardly obvious from the get-go, and remove it entirely. Percy is reduced to an idiot who can’t tie his own shoes and Dean is often shown basically unable to research without Sam. Both of those are bullshit. 
Percy has ADHD and Dyslexia, so when often we categorize smart as only book-smart, Percy’s intelligence as a battle strategist and his actual knowledge gets erased. Dean is usually the more physical and shoot-first-never-ask-questions type, and his intelligence is severely downplayed. He made an EMP detector from scratch. Made a shotgun, remembers how to kill things, is a very good hunter, especially on his own. But that’s thrown away because he’s not book-smart.
I despise when people take characters who are talented and smart in ways that aren’t just reciting the periodic table and reduce them to muscles and angst or drooling children. 
Octopunk having a scene where Gavin is working through a case, already having done the things that Chris, someone who was only recently promoted, suggests, is just affirming Gavin’s intelligence in a way I wish I could be not surprised by. Gavin is smart, and luckily I haven’t seen much downplaying that fact. He’s a detective for a reason. Unfortunately I think it might be because the fandom tends to turn Connor and Nines into actual children, but a win is a win.
Now I’m not saying I don’t love a good himbo character but I literally had to stop interacting with Percy Jackson content because people wrote him as incapable.
*Moving on*
“I think I can help with that.” Bitch why are you so dramatic I love him so much.
Nines’ t-shirt says “Detroit City Marathon” 
“You...undead asshole.” What an iconic line. I need a t-shirt. 
“I...hate you.” “You love me.” Harkens back to the beginning where the roles are reversed. Yes I used that unironically. Words are fun.
Gavin looking scared right before The Kiss™️ 
THE PULSE POINT!! THE SCENE WAS SUPER EMOTIONAL SO MICHELLE WANTED THEM TO DO YOGA ZEN SHIT TO PREPARE AND THEN THEY JUST DID THE THING BUT THEY PUT IN THE PULSE POINT 
ANYWAYS THAT’S WHAT GAVIN IS FEELING FOR ON NINES’ WRIST RIGHT BEFORE THE KISS.
I thought that was cute when I learned it in one of the streams.
Nines’ LED spinning blue when they finally kiss asgladkaf 
“What dipshit programmed you to do that?” “I’m the most advanced android ever made, detective-“ “oh you are such a fuckin’ prick!” “Takes one to know one.” I canNOT with them, I laughed my ASS off
The little broken laugh Nines does
Nines rubbing his hands over Gavin’s while they talk about Gavin’s jacket
Shoutout to Chris’ surprised pikachu face. (Tina is also there) That was a joke take, it’s in the gag reel, too. The face wasn’t supposed to make it into the film but Michelle added it. (In the gag reel, Carla yells “Let’s go to Denny’s!” At the end.) 
And Ada’s leather pants. Honestly?? She’s so pretty. I love her. They’re all really attractive it’s actually terrifying.
Nines and Tina being a part of the Gay Turtleneck Gang
Nines’ untucked turtleneck
Tina being a Smart Girl. (Nines calling her “Officer” and her replying with “I’ll make detective someday.”
Chris being Exhausted during the whole meeting. Me too dude.
Chris and Tina doing literally nothing while Gavin and Nines have a whole heart to heart
The WHITE COAT. Tina in her blues. Chris’ Foo Fighters shirt. They’re such icons but they absolutely look like a group of gay ppl who did NOT decide on a theme.
The fight sequence is impressive, considering that they’re literally not stunt actors. I’m not a fight choreographer or stunt person so That’s really all I have to say on that.
Chris patting Gavin’s gun after he explains what he’s doing. \
As a Jason Todd lover the crowbar is unfortunate (had to, sorry)
Nines’ smirk and the TURTLENECK as he spins away from Ada with the crowbar. Iconic. The Big Dick Energy. Especially for someone who doesn’t have a dick.
Chris being a Dad when Gavin runs off to go stop the body calibration
Ada just YEETS Gavin. Iconic.
Ada: *doing the villain “you won’t shoot me, you’re too moral” thing*
Chris: Shut the fuck up *shoots her*
Deviancy sequence, iconic
“You’re awake now” bitch get your own tag line, Markus became Robot Jesus for this shit
He’s HOLDING HER HAND while DEFENDING HER!! PLATONIC HAND HOLDING
Gavin trusting Nines’ decision immediately. Amazing. THAT’S LOVE BITCH.
The SMILES after Ada leaves!! They know they made the right choice!
Ugh the COLOR SYMBOLISM!! This is one thing that Michelle has touched on herself! Gavin isn’t wearing white in this scene because he’s not ‘fixed’, he never will be! He has trauma and he’s just barely beginning to heal from it with Nines’ help. He’s wearing grey, lighter than his usual, but still grey because they aren’t pure or innocent and they’re not perfect!! And that’s the fucking point!! It’s also a contrast against Sim!Gavin wearing white! Sim!Gavin was an idealized version of Gavin in Nines’ idealized world!! Real Gavin isn’t that!! So he’s wearing grey!!
Gavin immediately understanding that Nines is Ace and that it’s ok!! Beautiful!
“You’ve been a whole person since the day you woke up” YES!! YOU DO NOT NEED SEX TO BE WHOLE!! FUCK YEAH!!! (this is ace excitement. In the months since writing this I realized I’m aro-ace and trans so fuck yeah for ace rep.) 
Gavin being a dick and making Nines tell him about the skin thing
THE KISS!! They slowly move more into the light!! Because they’re getting better TOGETHER!!
Ok before I sign off, it’s only 3 am so I think I’m awake enough to talk about this, I like that they bring up that Gavin has like, actual issues that he needs to get through. Let’s be 100% honest here, I see Gavin as having ADHD, depression, and probably a form or symptoms of PTSD. He’s kinda fucked up and I’m gonna be real here he needs some therapy. He’s got trauma and needs to work through it. 
I like that at the end they explicitly have Nines understand and accept that that’s what needs to happen. As someone who has actually had relationships ruined because of trauma (on both sides) that we were unprepared to work through together, if I had seen something like that? Game changer. As it was, most relationships I had seen were idealized and seemed to “fix” those issues by way of just being in a relationship. Thanks major media. 
Now that the Detroit Evolution post series is over, I’m gonna be a bit sentimental and say that this film quite literally changed my life. Seriously. Michelle is such a big inspiration for me and I can only hope to be the same for someone else. 
If you ever have a chance to check out any of the amazing people who worked on this film, please do. To put into context how big this was: I changed my ideal college major from Forensics to Film. 
That’s it that’s all, ending this post at 3:24 am before I literally start crying over it. Thanks for suffering through my long-winded explanations, I hope you enjoyed. Have a wonderful day.
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carnoshin · 4 years
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hh im kinda new to this so i hope it's okay! how would bubba, billy and stu (poly if that's okay?) and brahms react to having like, a super affectionate s/o who often shys away when she thinks shes being too clingy? thank u! love ur stuff!! ♡
U are an angle, omg thank uuuu
Also, I know that life, bro. Got long, so it’s under the cut~ 
(...Assuming ‘the cut’ doesn’t decide to not work on mobile. For the fifth time.)
Bubba
He can’t get enough affection ever-- even if he’s mid-kill and you’re like “Bubba, I’m gonna kiss you.” he’ll stop dead in his tracks and get that much needed love from you.
It’s probably not Bubba who makes you feel like you’re being clingy, but his brothers. Drayton and Chop-Top especially: sometimes they can get a little too harsh.
Usually Bubba isn’t one to initiate physical affection, so if you suddenly stop touching him, he'll just be plain confused. 
He’ll follow you around and grab the back of your clothes, but he won’t even imply that he’s asking anything. Even if you ask him “What?” he’ll just stare at you nervously and try to figure out how to show what he wants to ask without embarrassing himself, which usually just ends in you turning away to return to what you were doing.
The thing he struggles the most with initiating is holding hands, funnily enough: he doesn’t mind coming up behind you to hug you or petting your hair (given the right atmosphere), but trying to hold your hand is nerve-wracking for him.
He’ll think you’re upset with him, that maybe he did something wrong and you don’t like him anymore-- like I’ve said before, he’s quick to catastrophize. He’s just like a kicked puppy.
If he can get the nerve, he’ll slip his hand into your’s and just. Wait for you to say something, anything.
Billy+Stu (Ghostface)
Both of these boys are kind of clingy themselves, Stu especially.
Billy is more likely to act cool and collected, but he’s totally freaking out (in a good way) internally. He’ll never complain about you being sweet on him.
It probably grosses out their friends how lovey-dovey you three can be. Billy will tell you to ignore them, Stu will call them jealous-- that’s always how it goes.
Maybe one time Stu pulls away from an embrace too fast or he rushes out of bed and forgets to say anything to the extent of “I’ll be right back, I love you, I’ll miss you” or whatever. Or that happens multiple times in a row. Since Stu is so affectionate in the first place, it’s kind of off-putting when he just. Isn’t affectionate?
Billy gives off a certain vibe. That vibe being “back tf off.” He’s got resting bitch face, so. Ya know.
They won’t notice at first-- it’s a three-person relationship, so it can be a bit hard to pick something up when 2/3 people are acting like usual. The boys are probably just as cuddly as usual too with each other, so. It can certainly feel like being a... Third wheel in a two-person relationship.
They’ll only notice after you cancel two dates in a row, at which point they will more or less force their way into talking with you. These dumbasses will absolutely use the phrase “Can we talk about something?” before pulling you aside to show their genuine concern.
Even if you’re not a crier (God, what’s that like? Is it nice?), they’ll act like you are when you’re explaining why you have been withdrawing your affection. Even if you’re more than emotionally alright by the time the conversation is over, you’ll end up at Stu’s place to be Held(TM).
(Honestly, the boys can be quick to forget what your specific brand of presence+touch is like, so they’re just. In heaven. When you’re being affectionate again.)
Brahms
This boy is touch-starved. He almost melts into any physical attention he gets. He craves attention in general.
It’ll take him a while to notice that you’re not returning his touch. Because he will seriously press himself to you that much. Plus, he has no shame when it comes to asking for affection, though he usually just does it in one word: “hug?” or “kiss.”
(Sidenote: “kiss” is almost always a demand, whereas “hug” is almost always a request.)
He will notice if you start to avoid him. Pretty immediately. After all, it takes conscious effort to do it: going outside more often, shutting and/or locking doors, going into rooms that don’t connect to the crawlspace, etc.
As such, he’ll basically. Talk to you within the day. He doesn’t like being seen when he’s speaking, however, so he’ll ask why you’re avoiding him from outside the closed door of a room you’re in.
He’d be very intentional in every word he says-- in the last several hours this has been happening, he’s been thinking over what exactly to say and he’s wound down from being so annoyed he’s almost angry to genuinely afraid you’re going to leave him. 
Being violent didn’t work with Greta, so he imagines it wouldn’t work with you either-- what worked with Greta was standing outside the door and asking her why she wasn’t following the rules. So that’s what he’ll do with you too.
If you just unlock the door and head back to sit down, he’ll immediately come over and practically envelope you in a hug. First, he’ll move your hands to hold him. If you’re still hesitant about actually touching him, he’ll just say “Please. Hold me.” in the quietest little voice-- his adult voice, which he specifically doesn’t like using.
If he’s having a particularly bad day (as in his behavior is just terrible) or if his first attempt doesn’t convince you, he might just forgo all this and wait until you’re moving between rooms before holding you so tightly it hurts-- which is very much his intention. And he’ll very lowly ask you-- not even in his child voice, which is honestly the main way you know he’s serious and that a situation may be dangerous-- “what exactly is it you think you’re doing?” or something along those lines. Note that he’s holding you so tightly that it’s hard to breathe, so you probably can’t respond either. 
This whole encounter is basically a warning from him-- he’s one entitled little bastard and sometimes it can come from nowhere. He’ll then release his grip and act like nothing happened, then ask for you to hug him-- most likely by stretching his arms out and tilting his head, not actually saying anything verbally.
If you reject him there, he will pause for a second before starting to sob. Whether it’s real or not is up for debate, but he doesn’t exactly know what to do at that point. He doesn’t want to hurt you, frankly-- the thought of getting angry and hurting you scares him.
Hopefully, you’re holding him by now, because otherwise he’s going to be wailing the entire night-- again, whether it’s real or not is up for debate. At worst, he’ll intentionally hurt himself so that you’ll touch him.
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delusionland · 3 years
Text
tim drake-wayne write-up:
-characterization mostly based on the red robin run, but even before Everybody Died, his vineer of normalcy hid an obsession with identities and perfection. nothing ever felt right. nothing ever felt Good Enough. people and things and fixations would make him feel whole and perfect for a while---but when he wasn’t actively performing relationships, roles, duties, or actively stalking / ‘doing detective work’ on someone, training in a specific skill---tim felt empty, and people and things had the tendency to disappoint him---leaving him feeling empty again
-normal wasn’t good enough, it never was. he always needed more, and he was just? never given the attention a mentally ill child needed. his parents weren’t neglectful, but they were busy. didn’t have the time to understand why their kid couldn’t stop crying at sleepaway camp. he just needed a hug. he just needed more time away. 
-he was a child prodigy and good at anything he ever tried, and if he wasn’t---he obsessed over it until he was. he never felt like he related to other children despite brief infatuations or obsessions with trying to impress them---he always wanted to impress adults & people ‘robin’s age’ more.
-superheroism gives tim’s ego the boost it needs to feel ‘special’. in many ways the title of ‘robin’ is the gifted kid program bruce puts him in. ur sooo good at being a kid, u get to be robin so u get to be challenged now, u get extra special challenges and requirements to pass. red robin is the beginning of the phase in ur gifted kid life where u go to college and start putting in overtime and u decide ‘am i going to burn out if i keep doing this’ and tim goes ‘i most definitely am going to burn out but also i personally am going to keep going forever untl i die which i kind of hope is sooner rather than later sometimes.’
-he finds the rich social life he was born into boring & trite---but being middle class is even more boring & trite and then he doesn’t have the luxury of being able to do whatever he wants, which is important to him. tim craves discipline & teachers & mentorship and also a challenge, but he never wants his time to be wasted on menial ‘normal’ life tasks. he likes adventure, danger---THRIVES off of bruce’s “tests” which he loves more than anything.
-he won’t admit that, though. even tho he doesn’t WANT to be normal---the fact that he is normal feels like a stain on his record that seperates him from the rest of the family and he kinda is insecure that his parents arent’ dead canonically to the point he avoids cass at first? lol
-he and bruce have the biggest... mutual understanding of batman & batkid bc like. TIM forced his way into being robin, and while i maintain bruce could’ve said no---they have this mutual delusion that tim WANTS to be here and there’s NO WAY tim could ever leave bruce unless he’s willfully pushed from the nest. (which is of course, tested... but tim does of course always come back.)
-tim and bruce lie to each other, a lot, but more than that they lie to themselves in that bruce LETS tim have ‘something over him’ always. tim is ALLOWED to have secrets, to have friends, in a way, say, damian and jason and steph, (the bad robins) were not.
-tim is very spoiled in a lot of ways tbh, he’s very bossy and he naturally assumes he’s in charge of every situation bc he’s extremely competent. this is why he and conner don’t get along--superboy bucks back on that autority
-need for control, obviously.
-very good at hiding mentally illness, less so after everyone dies
-17-22 is a common time for the most severe mental illness to sprout up. tim’s very bad no good year happens when he’s 17 lol.
-tim is half japanese on his mother’s side, fc ryan potter, i know i dont usually do fcs, but like! WHY WOULDNT THEY CAST HIM. IM MAD ABOUT IT.
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freezeriafan · 3 years
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Honestly i wish i knew whats going on with emery too. I feel like shes simply just a nasty person with no personal baggage. People like that exist - amii
PEOPLE LIKE THAT EXIST .... and i love that abt her i never want that to change .... But despite that I Just Keep Thinking abt what kind of person a sour nature like that would create...
UGH it's not your fault that i wrote paragraphs musing abt ur oc Emery . I just have a lot of thoughts . I'm like ... a fan. These are my fandom thoughts . IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT .. if u read it tho tell me ur thoughts bc you know emery more than i do obviously . IDK WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT but i say it anyway. Welcome to the shitshow
A lot of the time ppl perform behaviors bc of a root emotional cause but maybe it's reversed w Emery. She's already naturally a c*nt, she's stubborn, she's conceited, she's belligerent, she's inconsolable, she's egotistical; she always thinks she's right and always thinks that everyone is wrong; she refuses to change and learn and grow, and she refuses to believe that other people may be right sometimes and that they have their own valid feelings.
And's that's so funny she's so full of hubris im not advocating that that ever changes ever....I'm not even gonna say how there probably are a lot of things in her upbringing that shaped her nastiness .... bc i dont really care at all of that for her idk...she's not real.... But I do keep thinking abt what a nature like that would do to a person .
She has no close friends bc she drives them off and bc she needs to be better than everyone. She probably just believes that that's how life works; I don't know if she knows what real comradery feels like, what playful fraternizing is.
By nature she never admits fault and always pushes the blame onto someone else; this means that she never has to reconcile with shame or guilt or embarrassment. This creates a person who CAN'T reconcile with those things, she never built a tolerance, no idea how to even begin handling that. If she's always right why would she feel shame? And in the instance that she does something regrettable - If she's always right then why would she do something that causes shame? That's just not in line with her self image at all. Was is someone else's fault, or is she a powerful individual with deliberate volition? If she's always right, how does she address real internal confliction? If she rationalizes it all away at the first hint of self-doubt, then how long can she actually tolerate a healthy amount of shame when it arises?
I think it was brought up before but maybe not that while she's stubborn, she Will change her opinion if it keeps her in the right. So like if she does something unwonted or that would put her in the losing end of the argument, she will change her tune in order to preserve herself. That fluidity is more sustainable and realistic then being one way and always one way, but that two-facedness WILL drive everyone away and will weaken the stability of the hill she's trying to die on.
BUT EVEN WITH THAT FLUIDITY OF VALUES, If she's hellbent on being right all of the time and asserting herself first, then there's never room for honest listening and mindful growth. So she's essentially been climbing through the multitudes of life as one shape. Awful. She must feel like a lobster stuck in its own shell but she wouldn't know enough to know it. She never introspects enough to realize when she changes her opinions and when she doesn't, much less notice when the person she is now just isnt working. Doesn't she get bored of that? Does she ever want something different?
If she did begin to tire of herself, how would she rationalize that? What would it look like?
If she did want something different, would she get it, and then change her tune to match? Where are her limits? Is she just a shifting morph of desires? I mean that's a valid philosophy abt humans, that everything abt us is just the result of desires. But Emery definitely acts like she's solid and that she knows best and that she's reliable, unlike some other snakes in her life, an that incongruity is noticeable.
Even if she's full of self-serving fire by nature, I keep thinking about how she's a mean angry person STILL ... at her age... like she never mellowed out... never stopped putting her fire out there....like it never really got out there. Was never really heard? Never really got to burn? Does she crave vindication? Is there an ounce of something sympathetic in her character? What sort of reverence and attention does she need that she hasn't already bullied her way into getting?
I know she's incredibly self-serving, but has she ever shown herself sensitivity? I don't think she knows what tough love is when it comes to herself. It seems she gives herself everything she wants, all the rights to argue and to stand her ground, but never the softhearted consideration of how she's a multifaceted individual, and never the forgiveness after a healthy amount of self-doubt.
IDK. But I do keep thinking about the idea that the human brain can only put off something for so long. For example people can repress things for a long time or overwork themselves for a long time but there will be a point where their subconscious snaps and demands to be heard . That's when ppl have breakdowns, and they can be out of commission for years; it's an incredibly tough state to be in.
and idk I Keep Thinking abt how Emery cannot be so stubborn and insensitive forever something has GOT to happen at some point. She wouldn't listen to external forces, something inside has got to shift .. she's got to start reconciling with SOMETHING .. she's a grown ass adult she cant play the fool and play the victim forever .. she cant pretend she doesnt know the push and pull of life.... nobody is really THAT dense are they ?
IDK !!! I think I'm just approaching this at the completely wrong angle. She probably gives a little and then just reclimbs the podium to where it had shifted to; she has a superiority complex that really isn't that complex; she doesn't like to share her victories like how Quinn doesn't like to share her prey; she's of a generation; she's not interested in learning new things or changing her ways; she's a c*nt and that's FINE. Ughhhhhhh . She's on her way out anyway . Thanks for the homophobic papa louie oc . Gives me smth to rant abt . THANKS. Bye
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akechicrimes · 4 years
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Prompt 37? Futaba and Akechi platonic/Futago siblings?
37. “Follow me. It’s okay, just hold my hand.”
after akira leaves tokyo, futaba does just fine without her key item, except for when she doesnt.
(one of them AUs were goro survives the engine room and rejoins the phantom thieves. no i will not explain. persona 5 canon AND persona 5 royal do not interact. for reference in this universe futaba and akechi are half siblings but only akechi knows that)
*
“Next time you see me, I’ll be a whole new person,” Futaba tells Akira excitedly on his second-to-last day in Tokyo. “I’m going back to school, I’m out and about by myself—oh! Oh! Did I tell you I said yes to Kosei? I told Kosei I wanted to go to Shujin and they offered me scholarship! And I went to the subway station by myself yesterday!”
They’re crammed into Akira’s Leblanc attic, sitting around a cake that literally none of them were capable of baking themselves, so they’d bought the thing from a bakery and decorated it with little black and red hearts. Ryuji is passing around his gross soda, while Ann is recounting some story that doesn’t matter with incredible enthusiasm. Makoto looks like she’s determined to enjoy herself and will hear no argument.
The whole thing is incredibly morbid, if you ask Futaba. It feels less like they’re waiting for Akira to leave Tokyo and more like they’re attending Akira’s funeral. Akechi in particular looks like he’s regretting attending, which honestly tickles Futaba more than it should, that the most dishonest Phantom Thief seems to be the only one looking as honestly put-off by the entire affair as everyone else is determined not to be.
That’s everyone else’s problem. Futaba might not be happy Akira has to leave, but she’s proud. She’s sad that Akira has to leave, but also she promised Akira that by the time that he had to leave, she’d be able to get around on her own, without clinging to him for support. And she is able. She kept her promise.
Tomorrow might be the day that Akira has to go, but today is the day that Futaba is Officially Recovered.
Akira does that annoying thing he does where he puts his hand on her head and messes up all her hair, like he’s a human cat showing affection by pissing everyone off. Futaba yelps. “Look at you. You don’t need me at all.”
“I told you that I’d be ready to say goodbye by the time you had to go back to your hometown,” says Futaba. “I haven’t broken my promises yet, have I?”
There’s a burst of laughter from Haru over something Yusuke said, who looks rather surprised to discover that he said anything funny. Both Makoto and Akechi snicker at him, and then stop immediately to glare at each other the second they realize they’ve accidentally wound up sharing an opinion.
Akira ignores them. “Well, you can still text me if you need me. Or call.”
“I’m trying to tell you I’m getting better and I don’t need you,” Futaba grumbles. “Also, what kind of psychopath do you think I am to call someone on the phone?”
“That’s what phones are for.”
“Calling people is scary.”
“I thought you were getting better?” Akira teases.
“I am!” she says, pointing a finger at him. “I am! Just you watch, Akira. I’m getting better every day.”
*
Six months after joining Kosei, Futaba locks herself in her room and does not reemerge for seven days straight.
*
She tells Sojiro that she’s sick. Sojiro tells the school that Futaba told him that she’s sick. She definitely fakes a hell of a good cough, and the school lets Yusuke send her her all the homework that she was supposed to be doing in the first place, but Futaba already knows it’s only a matter of time before Sojiro rats on her, and she won’t even blame him because it’ll be for her own good.
In the meantime, she has stashes of crackers and peanut butter from back when she was a full-time hermit. She hates the taste of peanut butter within three days. Her bed is a relief, soft like a home she never left, up until it isn’t anymore. It’s too soft. No matter how she lies on it, no matter how soft it is, a mattress just isn’t comfortable when you’ve been lying on it for seventy-four hours. It’s hot. Smothering. She feels like she’s going to drown in the blankets and they’ll have to fish her moldy, sweaty corpse out of the bottomless quicksand pit of her too-soft mattress.
The thing about being a shut-in is that you don’t actually like your room very much. It’s not a relief, or an oasis, or even a place you enjoy. You’re just terrified of everywhere else more.
She plays a lot of video games that she doesn’t even like. She watches a lot of Twitch streamers she doesn’t even like. She doesn’t do her homework. She ignores Sojiro. She pretends she’s alright to everyone who texts. She wakes up and goes to sleep and thinks about going outside and goes to sleep and wakes up and wonders if the whole last year and her cautious baby steps back into the world outside was all just a hazy dream.
*
There aren’t a lot of Thieves left in Tokyo, weirdly. Haru and Makoto both graduated, off doing business and law junk that honestly makes Futaba’s brains want to crawl out her ears, but all the numbers check out and Haru’s not in the red yet, and Futaba’s looked at enough people’s dirty laundry to appreciate Haru’s clean ledger. Akira’s back in his dinky hicktown, where there’s barely anything electronic connected to Wifi worth breaking into for surveillance, which is really boring.
Ann’s been doing so many modeling gigs that she might as well not be attending Shujin anymore. She’s practically surrounded by electronics, and all of them are connected to the internet. On any given day, Futaba can snoop through the internet trail of electronic file cabinets full of images of her face, emails about her face, paychecks for her face. Futaba sends Ann more than one email about creepy old dudes making gross comments about her, along with a bunch of other illegal shit they’ve done, plus their offshore accounts full of cash if Ann wants Futaba to sic a lawyer on them.
Ann looks like she’s having fun. Ann looks different on the other side of the computer screen, like she’s less real. Like she’s not someone Futaba really knows. Like Ann’s not someone Futaba’s literally cried on at one point in her life.
Ryuji is definitely attending Shujin, but between physical therapy, catching up on a whole year of track, athletic scholarship hunting, and studying for college admissions tests, Ryuji seems to have been swallowed whole by Shujin, really. Out of boredom, one day, Futaba went down that rabbit hole of researching what it takes to get recruited for track in college, and holy shit–apparently Ryuji’s coach was supposed to be helping him with that whole process, but of course Ryuji barely has a proper coach ever since Kamoshida left Shujin’s track program in pieces. The amount of networking he’s doing is insane, especially for one teenaged boy who barely remembers his homework every night.
Sometimes, when Ryuji’s forgotten to check his email in a while and there’s a message from a coach sitting in his inbox, Futaba will send him a text to make him check it. And then it’s all, What were you doing looking at my emails, Futaba and Which of my other passwords do you know, Futaba, as if Ryuji doesn’t just use the same password over and over and has literally nobody but himself to blame.
So it’s really just Futaba, Yusuke, and–weirdly–Akechi, who’s off doing his gap year and said he was going to go abroad, but then he never did. Not to be a huge snoop, but Futaba went digging through his junk for about five seconds and then she never did it again, because she felt really weird about finding out that the guy that killed her mom is looking into social work, volunteerism, and reforming the justice system.
Like. The man who killed the Thieves’ leader is now literally out there saving orphans. It’s wild.
She might’ve been the one to tell Akechi that he can start over again and do better, but she reserves the right to at least feel weird about it.
She does not call Akira. She talks to Yusuke at school, but she refuses to ask him to accompany her on the subway. She should be recovered by now, shouldn’t she? She was supposed to have gotten over all that when Akira left Tokyo. She’s doing fine. She’s just looking out for her friends. Her, living vicariously through her friends, who’re growing up and growing away, flourishing into young adults? Never.
*
Everything is the same.
*
Didn’t she help kill a god last year?
Didn’t she work so hard to get out of her room, to make friends, to reconnect with Kana-chan?
Didn’t she work so hard to change herself?
Didn’t she help change the world?
*
Everything is the same.
*
Tuesday, 1:43 PM
YUSUKE: Futaba?
FUTABA: yo inari
FUTABA: u got more homework for me or what
YUSUKE: Ah, no.
YUSUKE: I think your teacher finds it suspicious that I’m sending you homework when I’m not in your grade, as it is.
FUTABA: oh no
FUTABA: what a shame that we didn’t have an entire year of experience with getting away with wildly illegal magic brain crimes without raising any suspicion
FUTABA: truly emailing me like four pieces of paper a day is far too difficult
YUSUKE: Well, I can’t get your homework from your teacher, but I can give you more homework if you’d like.
FUTABA: ok bucko that wasn’t a challenge
YUSUKE: There’s a math problem set that’s been incredibly dull to get through when I have more important pieces I could be working on…
FUTABA: inari im sorry to say but
FUTABA: me literally doing your homework for you is about a thousand times more illegal than you giving me my homework when ur not in my grade
YUSUKE: Oh, is it?
FUTABA: wh
FUTABA: are y
FUTABA: what do you mean OH IS IT
FUTABA: did you not KNOW ur not allowed to have other ppl do ur hw????
FUTABA: inari have u been making other people do ur hw for u so u can have more time to do art?????????
FUTABA: no shut up i dont want to know
FUTABA: i will not be ur accomplice
FUTABA: i see ur little speech bubble thingamajig yusuke i said stop typing forever and ever
YUSUKE: I can’t invite you to the art gallery tomorrow if I can’t type.
YUSUKE: It also seems impractical for you to outlaw me from texting forever.
FUTABA: i literally did not say that
YUSUKE: You said, and I quote,
YUSUKE: “Yusuke, I said stop typing forever and ever.”
FUTABA: ok i know it looks like i said that but please im begging u it’s literally just an exaggeration
YUSUKE: As Makoto would say, it’s hardly an enforceable law.
FUTABA: u literally texted my sick and crusty ass just to give me a hard time
YUSUKE: Are you about recovered from your cold?
FUTABA: and now u have the nerve to ask me to go to ur art show thing
YUSUKE: I didn’t say that.
FUTABA: oh really
FUTABA: what were u gonna ask me about then
YUSUKE: The art show, naturally.
YUSUKE: But you could have done me the courtesy of letting me ask.
FUTABA: all that on the day of my daughter’s wedding and now u want me to do u a solid
FUTABA: well i have news for u
FUTABA: the answer
FUTABA: is yeah
FUTABA: sure why not
YUSUKE: Oh, excellent.
YUSUKE: I thought that you might decline on account of your illness.
FUTABA: i’m not a punk bitch
FUTABA: i’m going
FUTABA: u were only working all those paintings for like two months i wanna see their oily faces in person
YUSUKE: Just because they were made with oil paints does not mean that they are oily.
FUTABA: cant wait to see my oily boys
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, I have to set up the event beforehand, so I will not be able to accompany you on the way here.
YUSUKE: Will you be alright by yourself?
FUTABA: uh
FUTABA: hmm
FUTABA: how oily are these boys in case i need to call a rain check
YUSUKE: Hmm.
YUSUKE: Perhaps someone else can go with you.
YUSUKE: Let me see if I can find someone.
FUTABA: what like one of ur art friends
FUTABA: i’m not going with anyone i dont know sry
YUSUKE: I’ll keep it in mind.
Tuesday, 1:59 PM
YUSUKE: Unfortunately, Ann and Ryuji were not available. Both of them will be coming late to the art show.
YUSUKE: Fortunately, Goro is.
FUTABA: whomst
YUSUKE: Goro Akechi?
YUSUKE: Crow, in case you know multiple Goro Akechis.
FUTABA: no like why u callin him goro
YUSUKE: I asked him if I could and he said yes.
YUSUKE: There’s not many people left in Tokyo who were part of the Thieves.
YUSUKE: I’m not exactly popular at school myself, so I thought it prudent to hold onto the connections I already had.
FUTABA: hhhhhhhhhhhhh
FUTABA: but why him……………………………………….
YUSUKE: Has he done something wrong?
YUSUKE: Well.
YUSUKE: Besides the obvious.
YUSUKE: Last I heard, you were quite vocally supportive of Goro making a change for the better,but have you prehaps reconsidered?
FUTABA: i mean he’s always been nice to me
FUTABA: like even before he was on the team as crow
FUTABA: and then later after he like lost his shit and tried to kill us
FUTABA: he was also like weirdly nice
FUTABA: even if he was dressed as a tokusatsu villain
FUTABA: but
FUTABA: i
FUTABA: ok this is gonna sound really weird but like
FUTABA: you know how i said that the person to take me to the art show has to be someone that i know
YUSUKE: Yes.
FUTABA: even though akechi was one of the thieves at the end
FUTABA: i feel like i dont really know him
FUTABA: he like had that whole breakdown where he spilled all his kylo ren sadstuck junk and then he peeled his dumb ass up off the floor and then we beat up his dad in a dark alley
FUTABA: and then i guess akira likes him a bunch and hangs out with him and i guess probably talked to him about all that stuff that happened
FUTABA: and also i think ann talks to him
FUTABA: and also haru i think for some reason……………………..
FUTABA: but like i feel like. we as a group. never really uhhhhhhh
FUTABA: got to know him very well i guess
FUTABA: because he spent like the whole year being a fake ass bitch
FUTABA: and then by the time he wasnt, the thieves were busy literally fighting god, and it was all business business business
FUTABA: ughghfhg i guess this is just a really long way of saying that like yeah ok i guess i do know him but i dont think i really do
FUTABA: even when he was off the shits in the engine room it was like
FUTABA: somehow that was not……………………………….. really him
FUTABA: idk maybe this is just my Thoughts but like
FUTABA: idk some people are like “your true self is who you are at your worst” and
FUTABA: yeah maybe you are some PART of urself when youre at your worst but like
FUTABA: also not???
FUTABA: that can’t be it
FUTABA: that’s not ALL of you
FUTABA: so all i ever saw was him when he was being a fake ass barbie prince and then when he was like actively losing his shit
FUTABA: and both of those were like. two types of fake ass barbie prince
FUTABA: except obviously the one where he started screamin about murder and trying to kill joker was like, fake ass serial killer barbie prince
FUTABA: anyway i dont buy it for a second that seeing akechi at his worst means that i know the first thing about his “”“”“”“”“true self”“”“”“”“”“”“
FUTABA: like i know that i technically met him but also at the same time i dont think ive ever really actually met this dude
FUTABA: uh tldr what’s the truth crowboy
FUTABA: second tldr do you got anyone else i can go to the art show with because im not unpackin all that junk in the trunk while also trying to fend off a panic attack in the subway
YUSUKE: Well, to speak to "what’s the truth, crowboy,” I’d say he’s actually really funny.
FUTABA: WHAT
YUSUKE: Yes, actually.
FUTABA: YOU TRYNA TELL ME YOU SHARE A SENSE OF HUMOR W AKECHI
YUSUKE: As everyone knows, I don’t have a sense of humor.
YUSUKE: But if I did, that might not be inaccurate to say.
YUSUKE: Either way, we could ask Boss if he’ll take you to school.
FUTABA: no
FUTABA: im not makin him shut down leblanc for the day just cause i cant get my shit together
FUTABA: and i go to school by myself all the time now i dont need to be walked there by my dad like a four yr old
FUTABA: r u sure u dont have anyone else who can take me
YUSUKE: You said it had to be someone you know.
YUSUKE: I can take you.
YUSUKE: But I’ll be getting to Kosei early to prepare.
FUTABA: how early is early
YUSUKE: Four in the morning.
FUTABA: PLEASE INARI
YUSUKE: The people you know is a quite limited pool, Futaba.
FUTABA: shut the hell ur face i dont need u tellin me to make kosei friends too
FUTABA: i get my butt to school every day i’m already a hero
FUTABA: ok alright
FUTABA: crow-san it is
FUTABA: hhh
FUTABA: no shut up stop typing i’m fine
FUTABA: i already saw his dumb ass get inflicted with Horny from Yaldy God Himself i ain’t afraid of no crows
FUTABA: actually now that i remember that that was pretty funny mwehehehehehehe
FUTABA: OKAY send me the who what when where why
YUSUKE: There’s a PDF flier. I’ll send it to you.
YUSUKE: But I will have to type the email to send it to you.
FUTABA: oh my GOD inari
FUTABA: i swear to god ur not actually this dense and youre just pretending u dont know what an exaggeration is just to drive me up the wall
YUSUKE: Oh, that is a possibility, isn’t it?
FUTABA: WH
YUSUKE: Ah, last period is starting. I’ll have to talk to you later.
FUTABA: WHAT
FUTABA: NO WAIT
FUTABA: HELLO????
FUTABA: YUSUKE NO COME BACK
Tuesday, 2:53 PM
FUTABA: YUSUKE HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING AKECHI DO UR HW FOR U SO YOU CAN DO MORE ART??
FUTABA: IS THAT WHY UR ON A FIRST NAME BASIS W HIM
FUTABA: ANSWER ME STRINGBEAN
*
In Futaba’s opinion, there’s an infinite amount of more embarrassing reasons to pull yourself out of your depression pit than “I needed to yell at my friend for being a snotty bastard,“ and there’s worse escorts to have than the weird guy who went from being a professional murderer to their weird awkward friend. Firstly, if there’s anything that can motivate Futaba Sakura, it’s the primal urge to dunk on her friends for spite and memes. Secondly, there’s no chance in hell Futaba’s going to have a breakdown in front of Akechi.
She can do this. She got herself out of this grave once; she can do it again. Even if Akira isn’t here. She’s getting better. She promised him.
On the eighth day of her almost-return to hermithood, Akechi texts her:
AKECHI: I’m here.
AKECHI: Are you ready to go?
Futaba is wearing only an old shirt, no bra, sweats, and vaguely greasy hair from all the showers she’s skipped.
FUTABA: i’m SO ready
FUTABA: the readiest
FUTABA: ultra mega super ready
FUTABA: featherman ranger code name Ready
AKECHI: Oh.
AKECHI: Alright.
Hell yes alright. Time for Futaba to save her own life from her gravesite of a room.
With… Goro Akechi. Wow, life is weird, huh?
She drags on her Kosei uniform like a skin discarded long ago. It feels stiff. Maybe because it feels wrong to wear school clothes like a functioning human; maybe because she just hasn’t washed it in a week. The very idea of explaining herself to Sojiro stresses her out, so she doesn’t do it. The idea of not explaining herself to Sojiro, when he deserves an explanation and also would probably have a heart attack if he realized that she’d disappeared from her room without his knowing, also stresses her out, so she still doesn’t explain herself to Sojiro.
I told Akira I’m better now. I can do this. I did this for more than six months. I was out of my room in the real world, I went to the school festival, I changed my own heart…
She creeps down the stairs like a thief in her own house and pokes her head out the door. Goro Akechi is fiddling with his phone in the sun outside her house, looking like he, too, has only just managed to pull on his Human Suit and look like a guy who didn’t make shadows beg for mercy for fun, so it looks like this whole expedition is going to be a lot of fun.
"Futaba-chan?” says Akechi, only just noticing her lurking in her own doorway. “It’s been a while since we last saw each other. How are you?”
Futaba opens her mouth. No noise comes out.
Akechi’s eyebrows slowly begin to knit together.
“I’m good,” she says squeakily. Clears her throat. Holy shit, she’s not afraid of Akechi after all that junk they went through in the Metaverse. She saw him as a rat. She saw him visibly want to break his father’s face when Shido tried to apologize to him on live TV. Once, Makoto and Akechi got into an unironic, passionate, hour-long argument about whether or not it’s beneficial to color code your notes.
“I’m alright!” Futaba announces louder, maybe a little loudly, considering the way he looks only more concerned. “L-Let’s hurry up and get this sidequest over with!”
She pulls her hoodie over her head and jams her hands into the pockets and makes herself as small as possible and inches out of the doorway. “If you… say so,” says Akechi, and eventually matches her incredibly slow pace as she shuffles her way towards the main street.
When the noise of Yongen-Jaya’s street hits her, her heart rate (already high as hell) spikes even higher like the first day she’d come out of her room, but the old coping mechanisms come back like second nature: Breathe slower, avoid eye contact, remember her mission, stick to the sides of the streets. Breathe slower. She’s still got it. It’s still hard, but she’s got a whole arsenal of ways to deal. She can do this. She will kick Yusuke’s ass for being a dick, if only out of sheer spite.
If Akira were here, I could hide behind him and…
No, shut up, shut up. All she has is her hoodie and Goro Akechi. Akira’s not here. She can do this by herself.
Akechi makes precisely two attempts at small talk (“How has Kosei been?” “Have you seen the pieces Yusuke submitted to the art show before?”) before he realizes that Futaba isn’t going to respond by virtue of barely holding onto her shit by her fingernails. He shuts up and sticks close by. Futaba makes her way down the streets towards the subway like walking on a tightrope. The subway station isn’t busy, but she puts every step in front of her like she’s going to fall. Getting on the subway might as well be a highwire. Futaba and Akechi wait for the train in mutual silence to the sound of other commuters murmuring amongst themselves, like a toothless echo of Mementos’s depths.
When they get on the train, people around her are quiet, thank god, but all of a sudden she’s convinced that she smells because she hasn’t taken a shower in literal days, and she tries to pack herself into her seat as tightly as possible. The guy in front of her is scrolling through something at a ferocious pace and his thumbnail keeps hitting the screen with this incessant clack, clack, clack noise. The subway voice announces their next station as the doors begin to close, and a girl suddenly sits bolt upright, having realized that this is her station after all, and bangs Futaba’s knees hard as she passes. Futaba wants to curl her legs to her chest, but she’s wearing Kosei’s uniform skirt and it’d just make everyone stare at her if she did that on the subway. She curls her fingers into the skirt hem. She stares down at her knees and lets her hair drape around her like a curtain. She can do this. She can do this. Breathe slower. Even slower. I did this for more than six months, I told Akira I’m better now, I changed my own heart…
Akechi pulls out his phone. Futaba’s phone buzzes.
AKECHI: Are you alright?
FUTABA: i said i was ready dude
Akechi types and retypes an answer, which technically Futaba could just look over his arm and read, but instead Futaba flips through apps on her phone and pulls up a shitty mobile dungeon crawler. She dies four times before Akechi puts his phone away without sending anything.
They pass multiple stations like that. Futaba sure as hell hopes that Akechi’s watching which station they’re on, because she isn’t. After the millionth time she dies, Futaba just closes the app altogether. Concentration’s shot. Can’t focus on anything. Heartbeat’s too loud. Breathing’s too loud. The guy next to her is breathing too loud. Everything is too loud.
New text:
AKECHI: Yusuke said you’d recovered from your cold, but you still look a little unwell.
Futaba doesn’t respond to that. She doesn’t need Negative Nancy over here telling her she’s gonna crack. Because she isn’t gonna. The subway starts to slow, and the voice announces the station for Yusuke’s school. She’s literally almost there, she’s right there, she might die in three seconds because her heart is going to pound of her chest but at least she’s going to make it, she promised Akira that she was alright—
The subway doors open. Passengers stand to get off. Akechi stands up. Futaba drops like a rock.
“I can’t,” Futaba’s voice says. She sounds like she’s crying. “I can’t, I can’t do it, I—”
“Futaba—”
“I’m can’t do it, I—”
She buries her face in her knees on the dirty subway floor. Oh, she really is crying. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t…”
Around her, people’s feet stop moving. They’re staring at her. She’s crying on the subway and everyone is staring at her. “Shh,” says Akechi, like Futaba doesn’t know she’s being a loud and irritating pest, but then he takes off his winter coat and covers her with it. Suddenly everything goes dark. It’s a huge coat, too; it wraps around her whole torso with enough room to spare to cover her entire head. Inside, it’s like she’s back in her room, only listening to the sounds of real life somewhere on the other side of a computer monitor, where it can’t hurt her. It’s so surprising she hiccups to a stop. Two hands pull her up by the shoulders and guide her to stand. “Up. Let’s go.”
“Is she okay?” says a voice.
Futaba’s entire body seizes with fear. She ducks into her own knees, trying to disappear.
“Hey, little girl, are you alright?”
“She’ll be fine,” says Akechi’s friendly, super fake ass barbie prince voice. “My sister just had a hard day. I’m sorry for the inconvenience.”
“A hard day?” Now the stranger’s voice is accusatory.
“For your information, our dog was recently brutally run over in front of her eyes.”
“Young man, are you serious right now?”
“Oh, yes. There was blood everywhere. Its intestines squelched horribly under the tires less than six feet away from her,” Akechi goes on. Futaba chokes, and then hiccups in what she realizes is almost a laugh. “Please excuse her. Thank you.” And before the literal complete stranger can follow up on that awful statement, Akechi takes her hand and pulls her up.
Futaba stumbles to her feet. If she has to take the coat off right now, she will actually die.
“It’s okay. Just hold my hand and follow me.”
Blindly, she lets him lead her out of the subway, weaving through people with only minimal contact with other people’s shoulders. There’s a whole awkward period where Akechi has to walk her up the stairs out of the subway station while she can’t see anything, but eventually the noise and bustle of other people around her seems to die away, and the air grows cooler in the way it does in the shadows between city buildings. Then they stop walking altogether. When Akechi lets go of her hand, she almost tries to grab it back before she catches herself.
“Okay. There’s nobody else around, now. It’s safe.”
Futaba doesn’t come out of the jacket. In the dark, her eyes dart back and forth, trying to see even as she blinds herself.
“Sorry for grabbing you so suddenly like that,” Akechi’s voice goes on after it becomes obvious she’s not going to come out.
Futaba wipes snottily at her own face. Oh, this is so gross, she’s got snot and tears on top of five days worth of grime and body juice because she hadn’t taken a shower. She’s disgusting. She really actually wants to die right now. She can’t show her face like this.
“Er,” says Akechi. “Do you want…. water, or…?”
Futaba folds up right there on the city pavement, probably dragging Akechi’s nice coat all over a dirty alleyway. She tucks her face into her knees, where she feels safest, and pulls the coat flaps even tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I’m sorry for not being okay,” she mumbles.
There’s a short silence. “You really don’t have to be.”
“I do,” Futaba says. She feels like she’s nine years old again, a petulant kid who needs to hold people’s hands and be escorted around Tokyo. “This is—it’s stupid, and I can’t believe I-I’m still doing this, a-and even a-after everything that h-happened last year, I’m still just a… I’m still…”
“It’s fine,” says Akechi. Even he sounds overwhelmed, and at the first sound of weakness, she pulls the coat off her head and glares at him furiously, red-faced and covered in tears and snot and gross depression juice crust and all.
“I’m not supposed to be this way anymore!” she says miserably. “I’m supposed to be better! Moved on! Doing literally a-anything else but crying over t-taking a subway! It’s stupid and nobody else is like this and I just want to be over this already and I just want to be better already and—!“
She covers her face with her hands again. God, even when she says that, it sounds pathetic.
After a moment or two, she hears Akechi moving again. She peeks at him. He’s crouching in almost the exact same pose as her, looking like he’s resigning himself to neither getting his coat back, nor moving from this spot any time soon, nor getting to Yusuke’s art show on time, but also looking archly and entirely unperturbed about it. Actually, it looks like he’s writing a work email on his phone.
Futaba was right about being in an alleyway, but it’s so cold because they’re shielded by a trio of vending machines selling canned coffee and wrapped sandwiches. "Our dog was recently run over?” she says.
“People can mind their own damn business,” says Akechi in his Pleasant Boy Voice, without looking up from his email.
“He was just trying to help.”
“Oh, yes, let’s help the crying girl by crowding her and suffocating her in a crush of public transit.”
Futaba snorts. “That was really mean of you.”
“Oh, absolutely,” says Akechi.
Futaba sucks a truly disgusting gob of snot into her nose. “Ugh. I wish I could’ve seen the guy’s face when you told him that.”
“It was like I’d spat on his shoes. I should’ve kept going. Or had a camera.”
“Futaba giggles wetly into her forearms. "Like one of those—those prank videos online… Get Yusuke to film it.”
“Yusuke, as the cameraman? I’m not trying to make a documentary.” Akechi flips to a different screen on his phone. “I already texted Yusuke about our poor dead dog, by the way, so don’t worry about it.”
Suddenly Futaba feels like literal garbage again. “Why are you always so nice to me?” she mumbles.
Akechi makes a weird face, like he’s trying to do his old Pleasant Boy shtick while having swallowed a lemon whole. “You say that like me being nice is somehow unusual.”
“Uh, yeah. Because it is. You literally were just being a huge asshole to a guy you’d never met over a fictional dog.”
Akechi has this increasingly disgruntled look on his face like he kind of wants to punt Futaba down some stairs, which, frankly, is the best sort of reward, in Futaba’s opinion. “I’m working on it,” he says grumpily.
“How’s that been?” says Futaba.
“Which part?”
Futaba has one whole moment of self reflection on this idea as maybe not a good course of action before she barrels on anyway: “The part where you’re turning your life around. Starting over. Trying again.”
“It sucks dick,” says Akechi.
“Oh, right on,” says Futaba, and then before she can stop herself: “Wait, I thought you liked dick?”
Akechi makes a noise like a strangled cat.
Futaba cackles. “Dude, incognito mode when you’re browsing for porn does not save you from people like me.”
“Have you been spying on me?”
“Uh, yes? Obviously?”
“You know you could get arrested for that sort of breach in privacy.”
“Oh, boo hoo, so sorry I know all about your weird orphan-saving night job and your smutty Featherman doujinshi collection. You’re not gonna narc on me.” Futaba stops. “Are you?”
“Stop looking at my internet history.”
“No. You better not narc on me.”
“Then stop looking at my internet history.”
“You had to google how to change a SIM card last week, crow-boy; you couldn’t stop me if you tried.”
“I will narc on you.”
“No you won’t. You’re the one trying to not be an asshole.”
Akechi makes a face like a cat being slowly submerged in cold water. Futaba laughs in his face.
“If you’re quite done,” says Akechi grouchily.
“No, never. You’re made for being made fun of,” says Futaba. “I’m gonna be making fun of you for years and years, crow-boy; you’re never going to get rid of me.”
“Great.”
“Gonna be creeping on your weird orphan-saving night job until the day you die.”
“Wonderful,” says Akechi without inflection whatsoever.
“Mwehehehehehehehehehe.”
“If you’re quite done.”
“I will take a well-deserved break from my endless duty to troll you both on and offline,” says Futaba. “Because I really really really wanna go to the art show.”
Akechi has the nerve to look relieved that he no longer has to squat in a dirty alleyway listening to a high school freshman bully him. “Then let’s go.”
Futaba hugs her knees tight. “But I wanna keep your coat.”
“Aren’t you wearing your own coat?” says Akechi, trying to look like he isn’t shivering. “Aren’t you getting hot?”
“I’m keeping it.”
“It’s my coat.”
“I’m keeping it.”
“Fine, then. Keep it. It’s dry clean only.”
“Oh, ew. No, take it back, gross, gross,” and Futaba peels the snotty, tear-stained, dirty winter coat off and dumps it back in Akechi’s arms, who looks at it with the expression of someone long-suffering and without hope of escape.
“And,” says Futaba, “I wanna see it if you tell anyone else that our dog got run over.”
Akechi smirks. “You’ll have to film it, then.”
“Oh my god, like I wouldn’t.”
Futaba scrubs her face one last time. She still feels like she’s covered in a grimy layer of slime, but maybe she can wash her face at Kosei. When she gets there. Because she’s gonna get there.
“Uh, one more thing,” says Futaba.
“Not like you’ve bullied me into doing literally everything else you’ve wanted,” says Akechi.
“You can’t laugh at me.”
“Good thing I don’t have a sense of humor,” says Akechi, which horrifyingly confirms to Futaba that Akechi and Yusuke, of all people, really do share a sense of humor.
Futaba hesitates. “Please, um… please don’t tell Akira about this.”
“Why would I tell Akira?“
"Nice. Good answer.” She smooths her hair down, trying to make herself presentable, or just have something to do with her hands. “I… told him I was gonna be okay without him and all that, so… I don’t wanna let him down, you know?”
Slowly, almost shyly, Akechi smiles. “Oh, yes. I know.”
“Our secret. Secret-keepers.”
“Secret-keepers. Are you ready?”
Futaba takes another deep breath. Pushes herself up, brushes herself off, and sighs. “Absolutely not. This is gonna suck so much dick,” says Futaba. “Let’s go anyway.”
265 notes · View notes
stovetuna · 4 years
Note
Stony for 30 or 40? I LOVE U SO MUCH UR FICS GIVE ME LIFE 💛💛👏
AHHHH YAY LIFE!!! you and an anon both requested #30, so here’s some classic tony!angst and protective!steve :3 — I PROMISE THERE IS A VERY MUSHY, VERY HAPPY ENDING
#30: “You’re not worth it.” (TW: child abuse, references to alcoholism, Howard being a shitty human being [but what else is new]) 
***
It’s Wednesday, and Wednesday means movie night at the mansion. A time-honored tradition that goes all the way back to the Avengers’ inception, back when Steve was still finding his way out of the ice—literally and figuratively—and Iron Man and Tony Stark were two different people. 
It’s been a long time since those early days, Tony thinks, watching the new team assemble on the couches, loveseats, beanbag chairs, and blankets strewn around the in-home movie theater. The screen isn’t excessively massive, per Steve’s wishes, but the sound is as good as it gets, per Clint’s; Tony updates the hardware year over year to keep up with the times, especially as film goes the way of digital (much to Steve’s chagrin). 
But tonight is Steve’s pick for movie, and Tony wonders if it was planned that way the moment Luke Cage asks what they’re going to watch and Steve gets that glint in his eye. The one that Tony can recognize from a mile away now without even trying, the one that screams “Steve Rogers is a little shit” and that very few people seem to be able to hear. 
Tony groans the moment Steve grins and says, “Home movies!” while revealing two armfuls of reels from behind his back, some of which are so dusty and small, Tony wonders if they’re Steve’s. 
The team settles in with enough snacks to put a rhino in a coma while Tony and Steve head to the back of the room where the vintage projector Tony pulled out of storage for the occasion awaits. 
“Next week, you can pick the movie,” Steve whispers conspiratorially, bumping Tony with a friendly elbow. Tony has to hold himself back from leaning into Steve in response, the way his body feels primed to do and has done for literal years, ever since—god, since always. But Tony knows his interest and affections are very much one-sided, and Tony doesn’t need to flagellate himself over it any more than he already does with everything else in his life. Plus, watching Steve with each of his girlfriends is more than taxing enough.
He’s had years of practice keeping his feelings for Steve from the man. He can handle an elbow and a wink. That shit’s practically child’s play. 
“If footage from my sweet sixteen made it into this lineup, we’re watching all three Die Hards,” Tony replies with a saccharine smile that makes Steve blanch. 
“Tony, no.” 
“Tony, yes.”
“The last time we watched Die Hard, Clint wouldn’t stop talking with a fake German accent for a week.” 
“I know! It was hilarious, and I want to get it on camera this time so I can send it to Alan Rickman. He’ll hate it.” 
Tony giggles at Steve’s huff, which is really a laugh disguised as exasperation, another one of Steve’s tics Tony knows by heart. The pain and joy of knowing that secretly splits Tony right down the middle—the joy of knowing Steve is a much bigger troll than anyone realizes, the pain of wanting to grab him and kiss him for it—but he hides it all with an elbow to Steve’s ribs and a muttered “jerk” under his breath. 
He’s spent the past ten years and change like this—halved by a love that makes him feel whole, which is an equation that shouldn’t work, but does, because Tony’s math is always right—so what’s one more night? In the grand scheme of things, not much, and every second of it is more than Tony could have ever hoped for. 
Together in the darkest part of the room he and Steve work in tandem to load the first reel onto the projector and let it run: it’s early footage of the first Avengers team, recorded off of a news broadcast. Down in front, the rest of the team throws popcorn and jeers, laughing themselves hoarse at the costumes, the villains, the dialogue—“‘He’s a real ball of fire!’” Clint wheezes from his beanbag before Natasha pelts him with Milk Duds—while Steve and Tony sit back behind the projector, shoulder to shoulder, running their own private commentary all the while:  
“I miss that armor.”
“Shut up, no you don’t.” 
“It’s true! Anyways, isn’t vintage all the rage these days? You should bring it back.” 
“I’m not bringing back Pointy-Faced Iron Man and his Roller Skates of Doom, Cap.” 
“Not even for me?” 
Tony slides Steve a look out of the corner of his eye, face still directed toward the screen, a classic are you fucking kidding me? if there ever was one. Steve bats his eyelashes in response, because of course he does. Unfortunately for Steve, Tony is mostly immune to that tactic by now. 
Mostly. 
“Let us watch Die Hard next week and I’ll consider it.” 
“Ugh, Tony…”
“Hey, heart-eyes! Next reel!” someone (see: Bucky) shouts. Not for the first time, Tony’s glad to be concealed in relative darkness back here—even Steve’s enhanced vision won’t be able to make out the blush Tony’s knows is all over his face right now. He also gets a reprieve from sitting so close to Steve, hyperfocused on his warmth and all of the sensory trappings of home that come with it, while he swaps out the old reel for a new one. New-er, rather. He doesn’t look at the case or look at any frames before feeding it through the projector. 
“Alright, you rabble-rousers, pipe down,” he shouts as the image on screen flickers to life. 
“‘Rabble-rousers’?” Steve quirks an eyebrow at him as he sits back down. Tony folds his arms over his chest and shushes him. 
“Don’t start.”
“Ooh, is that you, Tony?” Wanda coos from her place on the loveseat next to Vision. 
“Look at all of that hair! Danny Zuko’s got nothing on you, Stark,” Clint laughs. Tony nails him with a popcorn kernel right in the ear.
The footage unspools, harmless—albeit embarrassing—at first: it’s a home movie from when Tony was young, no more than eight or nine. He’s wearing what looks like the remains of what was once a nice suit, something his parents forced him into, probably, but devolved into undershirt and slacks and suspenders hanging down past his knees. He really was a gangly kid, wasn’t he? 
Tony laughs along with everyone else, warmed by Jarvis’ voice offscreen telling “Young Master Anthony” to show off his latest invention for the camera. He feels Steve’s eyes flicker over to land on him whenever young Tony smiles at the camera or laughs at something Jarvis says, but Tony ignores it. Mostly.
“He reminds me of Steve,” Bucky tells the room when young Tony is shown with a replica of Cap’s shield, posing triumphantly to the sound of Jarvis’ delighted laughter. Jess aww’s. 
“He does, kinda, doesn’t he?” 
“How have I never seen these before?” Steve whispers, leaning closer as he does. Tony swallows hard against the shiver that ricochets down his spine hearing that low voice in his ear. 
“A lot of things of mine you haven’t seen, Cap,” he replies, too late to stop the innuendo from slipping out. He looks at Steve after he says it and almost, almost lets out a gasp: when did Steve get so close? And why is he looking at Tony like that? All intense and considering? 
“Oh, here’s someone else I remember,” Bucky laughs. Tony turns away from Steve, grateful for the excuse, and starts to release the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 
It gets caught in his chest the moment he sees himself filling up the screen, young Tony standing alone in Howard’s office, having perched the camcorder on the big oak desk to record himself with Cap’s shield—the real one this time, not a toy. On screen, Tony has his back to the camera, the vibranium shield clutched in his too-small hands. He has to perch it on the floor, its weight just enough to counterbalance Tony’s, but holding it…even now, he remembers the thrill of that first time. The cool touch of vibranium humming under his fingers, the knowledge that he was holding his hero’s greatest treasure…his adult fingers clench against his thighs at the memory. 
But then, the image shifts into a sharper memory still, and Tony feels something old and awful claw its way from somewhere deep in his chest, remembering all too well what comes next. It tastes like bourbon and cigar smoke and the metallic taste blood leaves on the tongue after you’ve been smacked in the mouth. Tony’s hands fly out to clutch the sides of his chair and stick there; he can’t move them to stop the projector in time. It just keeps playing out, each frame worse than the one before. 
Of course he remembers this moment. He remembers it perfectly, because it was the first time Howard really hurt him. Not with his hands, although the bruises did linger longer than usual, after. 
This was the moment when Tony, so tender and impressionable even at that “advanced” age, learned what his father really thought of him. 
That old, awful feeling feels a lot like drowning when he thinks of Steve seeing what’s about to happen, let alone the rest of the team.
“I’m Captain America and I’m here to save you!”
“You’re not saving shit, boy.” Howard stumbles into frame like a bad Vaudeville performer, slurring Tony’s name like an expletive. “Put that down, you fucking brat. You’re not worth it.” 
The blood rushing in Tony’s ears drowns out the sound of voices past and present. All he can see is Howard filling the frame in that horrible tan suit, gripping a bottle of bourbon by the neck. The image catches on young Tony’s terrified expression, the way he hides behind the shield that’s almost as big as he is. He watches his own mouth move—Cap will save me, he’d cried, so confident, so certain that his hero would come and put Howard through the wall and carry Tony away to safety—and then down the bottle comes…
“Turn it off! I said turn it off!” 
Something hits the projector hard enough to not only knock it off the table it was sitting on, but send both hurtling across the room. They smash to pieces against the far wall with a noisy clatter that almost stops Tony’s heart in his chest. 
For a moment, the only sound in the room is the thwap-thwap-thwap of film smacking the floor as the reel spins on and on until coming to a feeble stop. He can hear breathing, heavy and labored and sliding quickly toward panic, and he realizes with a shuddering gasp that it’s him making that sound.
Tony looks up and sees Steve standing where the projector once was, cradling his bleeding hand. The man looks stricken, pale and horrified, worse than if he’d seen a ghost; behind him, the team has inched closer, all of them wearing varying expressions of distress and pity and guilt and sadness, and suddenly Tony can’t bolt out of his chair fast enough. He can’t get away fast enough. He follows his feet out of the room into the corridor and down, down, down to the workshop where it’s safe, where he can’t get in, no one can, not unless Tony lets them. 
Someone is calling his name, but Tony disappears down the stairs before he can figure out who. He bursts through doors he can’t see and staggers over to the closest workbench, sucking in deep, ragged breaths like he can’t catch up to them. Is that a screw loose in his chest cavity, he wonders, gasping, because that rattling sound seems to indicate something has come undone that shouldn’t have. Howard’s dead, Tony reminds himself, over and over again. It’s a fact as true as any algorithm, so why won’t it take? 
JARVIS’s voice moves gently through the noise in Tony’s brain: “Sir, Captain Rogers is asking permission to enter.” 
Steve. 
Tony can’t decide if the thought of Steve seeing him like this helps or worsens the rattling in his chest. Either way he feels like shit, but only one of those ways ends up with Captain America pitying him, or worse. 
He’s so caught up in thinking about all the ways this could backfire he doesn’t realize JARVIS has let Steve into the workshop, regardless of Tony’s feelings on the matter. The realization sets in when Steve’s voice appears close to his ear, soft and low with a frisson of urgency, like he too is slightly out of breath. 
“Tony, it’s just me. It’s okay. I’m going to put my hand on your back.” 
Warmth spreads from Steve’s fingers through Tony’s shirt and into the skin high up on his back between his shoulders. Steve can probably feel how fast Tony’s heart is racing, but spares him his overt concern and instead keeps telling Tony what he’s going to do before he does it: a hand on Tony’s forehead, an arm around his back, asking JARVIS to turn the lights down to thirty-five percent. 
“I’ve got you, it’s okay.” 
Tony sags into Steve’s touch, his large, warm hand cradling Tony’s head like something precious; the deeper dark quiets the room around them, makes it less overwhelming, less full of ghosts waiting to cast their own opaque shadows on the empty walls. Tony and Steve are left standing in a dim light Tony knows makes him look sallow; he wavers on his feet, left to borrow from Steve’s strength because he can’t find his own. Lucky for Tony, Steve is right there, braced and ready for anything. Like always.
The rattling has settled somewhat, but Tony still has to rely on Steve to tell him when to breathe and how deeply. He forgets, sometimes, that Steve has experience dealing with panic attacks, which so often came before an asthma attack. Steve once told him that even years removed from his sickly days, he still remembers what it’s like to lose that grip on reality, feeling the heart too acutely as it beats against too-brittle ribs.
While Steve draws on those memories often enough with others on the team, it’s a rare occasion for Tony to be on the receiving end of Steve’s nursing hand like this. Jokes or angry silence over cuts, breaks, and bruises, sure, but this? Tender hands and a voice pitched low and soothing, lullaby-soft, speaking words of gentle encouragement? Tony’s head feels light with it. 
“Do you want to sit down?” Steve asks. Tony shakes his head against his palm. “Okay,” Steve whispers, his voice the only one in the room, which makes for a funny kind of one-sided conversation. Then, before he can think better of it, Tony turns toward Steve, wraps his arms around the man’s impossible waist, and hugs himself close to Steve’s radiating heat. He’s too gone for shame, and too weak; a soft, gentle Steve is hard to resist, even on good days. And this just became a no good, very bad day.
Fucking Howard.
Steve, for his part, takes the hug in stride like they do it every day. Tony likes to imagine it, touching Steve like this whenever he wants to, but that’s all it is—a fantasy. Just like being with Steve is a fantasy, one Tony has entertained for far too many years to count. He satisfies himself with Steve’s friendship, tells himself it’s enough, and if he happens to sleep with the occasional look-alike, that’s nobody’s business but Tony’s (and JARVIS’s, and in one deeply unfortunate instance, Pepper’s). 
Strangers want Tony Stark, the celebrity; Steve wants Tony as a friend and teammate. That’s all. So Tony steals his nice, platonic hug as he trembles and breathes his way out of a panic attack, being careful to avoid nuzzling the soft notch at the base of Steve’s throat the way he wants to. Badly.
He’s so preoccupied with holding all the disparate parts of himself together and hiding them so Steve can’t see, he doesn’t notice Steve’s hands start to rub his back in long, soothing strokes until Tony is half-melted in his steady arms, weak-kneed at how comforted he feels. Steve doesn’t say anything—just keeps moving his hands, up and down Tony’s back, across his shoulders, along his arms, and over again. He can’t remember the last time someone touched him like this, without motive, ulterior or otherwise; his skin feels warm down to his toes.
“Better?” Steve murmurs. Tony nods against his chest. He doesn’t let go. Neither does Steve, who seems to fold himself over Tony until they’re more like one person than two, standing there breathing together in Tony’s darkened workshop. 
Slowly, thoughts of Howard, of hurt, start to melt back into the shadows. In their place is Steve, filling up all of Tony’s empty spaces with light, even some of the ones he didn’t know he had. For such a strong man, Steve is unbearably gentle, handling Tony the way he might handle spun sugar or thin glass. Tony has never felt so genuinely cared for, and the fact that he can’t pull back and thank Steve with a kiss smarts a little in the face of it. 
That is, it does, up until the moment he feels Steve brush a kiss against where Tony’s hairline meets his forehead, soft and uncomplicated, but lingering, like Steve wants to stay there. To do more. Tony knows that move because he’s imagined doing the exact same thing to Steve, god, thousands of times.
Tony wants so much. Too much. Asking Steve for this would tip things precariously toward the latter. But the question is taken out of Tony’s hands the moment one of Steve’s perches itself under his jaw and tilts his face up.
“I’m sorry,” Steve says. 
“It’s ancient history,” Tony replies, maintaining eye contact through sheer willpower when all he wants to do is look at Steve’s mouth, now so close to his. 
“Not to you, it isn’t,” Steve counters, and there’s not much Tony can say to that. “I’ll talk to the team. They might have questions, and you shouldn’t have to answer them. Not tonight, anyways.” 
“I know you’ve got big shoulders, Steve, but you don’t have to take on my baggage on top of everything else.”
As they talk, their bodies never move an inch apart; chests pressed flush against each other, Steve’s fingers splayed along the side of Tony’s neck. All of it—the proximity, the tenderness, the intimacy—feels as natural as the breathing they just did together. Ten-plus years of friendship will do that. But then, the way Steve is looking at him doesn’t really scream friendship. 
It kind of screams I love you. 
Steve gives him that little smirk and says, “Maybe I want to.” Tony scoffs, flicking one of the shoulders in question for good measure. 
“God, how are you still such a horrible liar, Cap? Is there something in the serum that makes it impossible for you to keep a good poker face?”
“This is my good poker face,” Steve replies, and there it is again, the same look Steve gave him earlier before the night spun out like a race car with its wheels blown off: intense, considering, and so, so close. 
Tony swallows nothing but air. Steve, never breaking eye contact, cards his fingers through the hair on the back of Tony’s head and holds them there. 
“If I kiss you right now, will you have another panic attack?” he asks quietly. Not even a blink. The part of Tony’s brain—a scant centimeter, at best—that isn’t currently blasting a hundred sirens at full volume is actually kind of impressed.
“I doubt it,” Tony replies evenly. “I’ll probably just pass out.” 
The smirk becomes a full-blown grin. Steve squeezes his other arm around Tony’s lower back and hums, deep and resonant, in his chest as he leans down to brush his lips feather-softly against Tony’s. 
“You fall, I’ll catch you,” he whispers before dipping in for a proper kiss that floods Tony’s head with incandescent light. It’s chaste and measured and burning with mutual restraint, tastes faintly of the buttered popcorn Steve ate earlier, and the only way it could be better is if it never ended. 
Tony tightens his arms around Steve’s waist, and when Steve pulls away to speak, he doesn’t go far, seemingly content to stand there in Tony’s embrace in the middle of the dimly lit workshop. 
“Still breathing?” he asks. Tony smiles; Steve smiles back. 
“Takes a lot more than that to knock the wind out of me, Cap.”
The way Steve’s eyes darken at that little remark is definitely something Tony intends to investigate further, later. For now, he leans into the hand now resting on his cheek and sighs. 
“We’ll test that theory another time,” Steve husks before leaning forward to press a kiss to each eyelid. Tony hums happily, sinking further into Steve’s arms. “Can I carry you to bed?” 
Tony gives him a look. “I’m heavy,” he says. 
Steve just smiles, kisses Tony like he’s been doing it forever, and replies: “You’re worth it.”
- - - 
see? happy endings. fuck howard. 
209 notes · View notes
phoebehalliwell · 3 years
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so apparently my brain will not let me rest until I figure out the Prue/Roger dynamic, so: Prue's right out of college when she gets hired at the museum and she gets partnered with a senior curator, Roger. Roger flatters Prue first professionally, then personally, and when Prue is hesitant because he's married, he spins some line about how his marriage is over in everything but name. Prue, young and only having one real relationship before, falls for his charm and they start sneaking around 1/?
at the office. at some point Roger does divorce his wife, he and Prue are together publicly, and then he proposes. somewhere in there, he makes a move on Phoebe, who rejects him. Phoebe immediately goes to Prue, but Roger insists that she's lying, "Prue, don't you think I love you, I left my wife for you." Prue, habituated by years of this kind of emotional manipulation, chooses Roger over Phoebe. This pretty much destroys her relationship with her sister. Prue and Roger continue plans for the wedding until Grams dies, at which point Roger calls off the wedding because he didn't sign up to be anyone else's emotional support. Prue, spends her days angry at Roger, Grams, and Phoebe for abandoning her, and spends her nights secretly wondering if there was anything she could have done to keep any of them with her.   
hmm an inch resting yarn you have spun here but i’m gonna offer you another one: pure was popular in high school she was like really fuckin cool and she could very easily have been any man of her choosing. there was no settling for her, she was prue motherfuckin halliwell. so she went for what her heart always wanted and dated her childhood sweetheart andy trudeau. and like,, they were the It Couple in their heyday and it was definitely that passion head first our love will never die dramatic but also just kinda silly love. and that sorta sets the bar. then she’s off to college presumably at this point still trying to pursue a career in photography and she’s like having fun she hangs out with the artists and free spirits and people who were misfits in high school and draws them in with her undeniable queen bee energy but like. she knows her stuff. she doesn’t get by on looks and popularity, she’s really good at what she does. so now we bring in college boyfriend no. 1 who cupid name checked as alan, and we’ll say this really is a relationship of two artists and they’re both amazed by each other’s work and the soul and heart and spirit in it and in them it’s definitely the most pretentious of prue’s relationships but it’s like the kind where they “break into” the local art gallery after hours (alan works there and has a key, so it’s not like it took a lot of masterminding) and like slide around polished hardwood floors until they fall down laughing that type of vibe. but now we’re encroaching on prue’s blue period. for starters, piper’s get ready to y’know apply for college this that and the other and like grams is all concerned about how much college costs blah blah blah with paying for both prue and piper and the same time yada yada yada and prue sorta realizes how sorta tight the money situation is what with the cost of education and the house and this that and the other and she’s starting to realize that this photography career is Not the move bc like this house needs a breadwinner if they want to keep it blah blah blah so life already blows when she has to go pick up phoebe from a party which she’s not like happy about but like you know at least phoebe isn’t drunk driving maybe this is a chance for them to bond as sisters for prue to impart some wisdom on her chaotic younger sister but no of course not of course they have to get in a huge argument and prue doesn’t hit the breaks in time and the car gets totalled and phoebe lands in the hospital and like now prue’s sorta spiralling and she like wants to quit photography and she feels horrible about everything and alan who is again i must harp on pretty pretentious is like no u can’t quit ur family doesn’t understand you it’s not about the money it’s about the art use this pain to make something amazing to which like sorry king,,, but it is about the money. the manor has been in the family for decades and prue can’t lose it. and with piper’s college, phoebe’s hospital bills, and grams’s failing health... it’s 100% about the money dude. and fuck turning your pain into art fuck glorifying suffering and fuck you. so now prue’s p cut off she’s pretty isolated she’s all down in the dumps blah blah blah she changed majors to whatever major it was she needed for like museum jobs bc at least this way she can make bank but she’ll still hold a piece of art close to her and she like drowns herself in her work like she’s not just gonna be this major (art history?) she’s gonna be the fuckin best she’s gonna be the top of her class blah blah blah yada yada yada. but y’know flash forward an amount of time and her roommate’s like hey babe. i get like life’s shit i get u got to be the very best like no one ever was but like. you have not left the apartment in four months. you haven’t smiled in probably twice as long so like. idk do something?? that makes you happy maybe???? and prue’s just like :/ bc what made her happy was like photography but now she has very mixed emotions around that and her roommate’s like what did you do for fun in high school like what did you do after school and prue’s like idk cheerleading practice and her roommate’s like word well then go to cheerleading tryouts time skip we really see prue return to all her old glory and climb up the lil cheerleading ladder blah blah blah and in this renaissance of hers she also scores a new love interest who’s basically the opposite of alan enter tom peters the star wide receiver. and i think this relationship for prue was really just like fun it was tipping her toes back into the water it was learning to smile again it was just like a good time fun simple no concerns about the future just like vibing right then and there and then that ended just sorta naturally and they both graduated and it’s time for prue to leap into the professional world and she’s never left california so when she gets a job offer in london she jumps at the chance blah blah blah she’s working she’s having fun she’s defining herself enter eric from london who i’ll say is like a Business Man he’s like a this that or the other idk maybe a museum investor like the young son who just took over his dad’s business that sorta vibe and like eyes meet breath catches there was just this click but it like took them months to get together it was just this dance this game of cat and mouse until prue finally like took the bull by the horns and just like went for it and i think that would be her like most “adult” relationship like dates were going out to fancy dinners not breaking and entering or picnics on the empty football field these were like two professional adults like dating but you know they hit a year and then some and we’ll say like prue is maybe like 24 25 and this guy’s maybe 29 or whatever and they’ve attended friend’s weddings bs they’ve hit that era where everyone’s getting married and suddenly this cloud’s hanging in the air like baby are you my forever girl like is this it fifty years from now to i still come home to you put you know what let’s push that to the back of our minds but now eric’s like 30 and his family’s like dawg,,,, r u gonna be like a spinster or something are you gonna put a ring on it or not and prue (after many many international phone calls to piper) has decided yes she’d do it she’d stay her and be with this man she loves and eric decides prue’s just not the girl for her. so uh. ouch. blah blah blah prue’s had her fun in the uk but it’s like time to return home piper’s just graduates college or whatever and found a job in the city if prue follows suit they could room together which is when she gets the job at the museum where roger works at. and blah blah blah prue’s like amazing as always and of course she catches roger’s attention bc how could she not and he’s constantly pursuing her and prue keeps turning him down at first bc she’s not really interested and then like he’s her boss and then like it becomes a sort of game but now all her friends from high school are getting married and marcia from homeroom has a baby look and the lil pumpkin on her christmas card and fuck what am i doing so you know what yes roger i’ll be your date to the new years party and here’s the thing roger knows prue is really impressive like she’s amazing at her job and she’s a total babe like he shows her off all the time and prue’s like you know receiving this really high praise and you know roger also has cash to spare so it’s like it’s not bad and she doesn’t well love him but he clearly loves her so she can be satisfied and you know her high school reunion is this year and if there’s one thing she would love it would be to write (nee halliwell) on her nametag, to show she got the job, she got the guy, and she’s living pretty in pac heights. so when roger proposes, she says yes. and piper’s happy for her and phoebe thinks roger’s a sleaze and grams is lukewarm but what does grams know about a long lasting marriage and what does phoebe know about anything so blah blah blah she goes to that high school reunion with a big ol rock on her finger and this that and the other and like to be perfectly frank coming home to roger is not like the highlight of her day there’s not this comforting glow when she falls asleep next to him but it’s like. she’s committed. she’s gonna see this through. besides, they’re already working on the guest list and venue and everything like she’s in it now there’s no turning back now and it’s fine like roger’s fine he’s perfectly palatable and she’s encroaching on 30 so. well whatever prue and roger host an easter party and it’s so cute she’s in a darling floral dress dazzling roger’s stuck up parents and eating finger sandwiches when she hears voices coming from the bedroom and is like gonna pretend to ignore it when she catches piper’s eye and piper has that uncomfortable look on her face and she realizes she can’t find phoebe anywhere and Where Is Roger and she busts in on the two of them looking disheveled and phoebe’s like prue- and prue’s like i don’t want to hear it and roger’s like baby- and prue’s like not now and she turns to phoebe like i think it’s best you go and she looks at roger like we’ll talk about this later your parents are wondering where you are so piper drives phoebe home and phoebe’s telling her about how she went to confront roger on being a whore and also like a spineless sleazebag and she was gonna tell prue when he totally started hitting on her and trying to kiss her and then prue broke in and piper’s like uh huh uh huh bc like. she doesn’t like roger all that much. and she agrees with phoebe. but still this thought sorta lingers at the back of her mind like could phoebe have done something? purely to get back at prue? no she wouldn’t. probably. meanwhile roger’s like your sister was totally hitting on me blah blah blah and prue’s like we can talk about it later right now we’re hosting a very nice party and i’m not going to have you ruin in and roger’s like see that’s what i love about you and prue’s like yeah cool and now whenever she comes home to roger she’s just like 🙄 and she’s like complaining to piper about how like she like doesn’t really want to marry him but it’s like too late now the venue’s booked and the save-the-dates have been sent out and piper’s like it’s not too late until you say i do. do you really want to be married to that sleazebag? and prue’s like :| and piper’s like you can call off the wedding and prue’s like :| and piper’s like i’m just saying and prue’s like does he remind you of dad? and piper’s like what? and prue’s like i think roger’s just like victor. i think i’m about to make the same mistake mom made. god, i always wondered how she could have married such a douchebag and here i am about to do the exact same thing! and piper’s not really commenting bc she doesn’t really remember dad but what she does say is you haven’t made that mistake yet so prue’s like you’re right. and that night she calls of the engagement.
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hey-hamlet · 5 years
Text
BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: 
In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.
Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.
----
Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.
anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that
everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic
everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time
this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash
"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""
"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"
aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh
"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"
"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"
mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk
all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"
and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds
pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn
aizawa  helps him up off the floor
"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"
mic "youre amazing"
aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering
aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments
consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 
this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course
so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement
"he might actually do it!"
"who might do what"
allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa
"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"
and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot
hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"
he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"
like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"
allmight just nods sagely
"young midoriya be like that sometimes"
pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child
for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s
also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy
aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room
"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"
and like everyone is so lost no one questions it
bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him
please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly
monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line
during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"
and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box
all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet
"im quirkless you nonce"
"oh,,,"
"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"
"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"
"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"
"wait what"
izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa
you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"
"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"
mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"
there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”
please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"
aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"
he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it
soup cryptid
please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is
“haha he’s just being friendlyL
“aizawa i literally want to marry u”
“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”
in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly
and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks
also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong
izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk
stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"
",,, where are your parents"
"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"
izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes
tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her
bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train
and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like
"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"
everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk
hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"
they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there
aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."
“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”
“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”
“my boy,,,,,l
"what, ochako lives alone!"
"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"
aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now
allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"
"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  
mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing
afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O
for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother
consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that
if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things
tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel
inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables
just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots
the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch
izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"
hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"
izuku just looks stary eyed
"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"
"deku wtf"
"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"
“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”
"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"
mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that
so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him
1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously
and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet
aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale
okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it
,,,,,c
cook?
izuku just has a totally blank face
"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"
"raw."
"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”
"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"
"it wont kill me though"
"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."
“but vegetable??? good????”
"kid do you even fucking like any of this"
"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"
yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying
aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”
izuku: *surprized pikachu face*
please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"
oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice
also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"
bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"
aizawa "WAIT WHAT"
whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔
izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"
and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"
",,,"
"thats what you taught us sensei!"
"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"
"and?"
"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"
"i can put some back if you want?"
"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"
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yyxgin · 3 years
Note
as quick as love alarm was progressing compared to other dramas i’ve seen (usually wait ten eps for the first kiss and that’s it) it still seemed,, idk important for the story? n e way.
meteor garden is insanely messy like in the final episode daoming si just mentions everything dong shancai did that makes her so amazing and i honestly forgot they even did some of their things 😳 at one point they went to london and filmed in china town and i was just like ‘oh. i know that place’ and didn’t clock after that 😭
I GOT PEN ON THE BACK OF IT IM SO MAD AT MYSELF ✋✋✋✋✋ but come find me anyway lmao i got a changbin & minho film strip 🤪 can’t have anything nice around here and i learned my lesson the hard way.
i went through a phase when whenever i watched english tv i was like ‘why does this make sense without subs..’ and would be like squinting at the screen until it occurred to me that it was in english.
oh bruh i remember making a bank account the second summer bc my employer was like why tf do you not have a bank account ,, yeesh people had been paying by card for meals and stuff and not cash like the year before. so i made one and then she paid me in cash bc people started paying w cash 😐😑😐😑 i waitress so even though i get anxious about other things, i’m comfortable about waitressing so i am super nice to everyone. i am the designated person who orders for everyone (as long as you point at what you want in case i can’t remember everything i will say it). i know how important it is to be articulated to your server bc if they f up you get mad and they get mad bc ur mad and the chef gets mad bc the server f-ed up and the chef has to cook again and it’s a never ending circle of wishing you’d just gone somewhere else and i hate that. i also get mad at my fam when we go out bc the last time we went out (literally like two years ago now bc covid) there was a guy serving at this place we’re fairly frequent at and i was like maybe he’s training don’t be so mad at him for forgetting things just gently remind him! don’t cuss him out behind his back! there’s so much pressure about not pissing off your colleagues bc there’s a groove they’ve got and you’re just there not wanting to ruin it whilst also meeting customers needs!!
ive been waiting to pass my drivers test for over a year now bc covid has pushed it back and back and back again 😐 i finally get my next test date and i have to ask a different instructor for their car bc my instructor is on annual leave when my test is scheduled. i’m holding it together so i can ask an instructor, buy a car and yeet. the bus is okay but i need my own space sometimes.
i am good w my money im the jungkook of the working class. if there are pots and pans on the go i will take them. free food? count me in. i do have that broke b*tch mindset. although i don’t buy $300 white tshirts i will spend $200 on a day out 😃 and sis,, buy whichever one you like bc of the concept!! it’s always fun seeing the posters (personally i don’t put them up bc how am i gonna have sir johnny suh STARING at me while i get changed,, no THANK YOU) i’ll cry if i ever pull a yuta card bc he looks ✨spicy✨ in all of them.
i think i get what you’re saying about gg’s! boy groups have a wider range. eg, haechan hits those high notes and jeno/mark rap/sing quite low but girl groups can’t. unfortunately i feel like they rely on visuals heavier bc they don’t have the same range bg’s do. itzy are good!! i personally haven’t listen to a lot/watched a lot of their mv’s. i’m more into red velvet for their mv’s. im terrible at watching content so i am slowly working through bts’ content, monsta x’s content and ocassionally nct’s content. im gonna work on mamamoo next 🤞fake fans unite 😔✊✨
it’s so easy to feel invisible here. don’t worry. i’m here to brighten your day! much like a sunflower ~ 🌻
I cant really speak about the importance of the kiss in love alarm since i didnt watch more than the first ep, but i will trust you if you really say so ?? 😳 I WANNA WATCH METEOR GARDEN JUST FOR THE DRAMA DHSNSK
dude dont fucking test me i WILL find your address and i WILL visit you in your sleep and steal all your kpop stuff. MINHO FILM STRIP ??????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
i still watch english things w eng subtitles sometimes bc my first language isn't english so just in case i dont hear something i can always read it you know djsksk
this is my first job so i didnt have to have bank account before but now that i have it i feel very adult😩✋i am so old. i dont like it.
oh no i hate people that arent polite to waitresses like they are just doing their job and its so hard and stressful and i dont want to make their life harder so im just really anxious abt everything in my life ever.
i'm rooting for you on your driving test !! lets hope you make it after such a long time <3
JUNGKOOK OF THE WORKING CLASS NO- thats actually me. also free samples. give me all of them. also i think its completely justified to spend so much on a night out since its for the memories !! #yolo am i right
I AM SO TEMPTED TO ORDER THE ALBUM NOW 😭💔😭 i actually have my posters on my closet and i change inside the actual closet at all times bc me and my brother share a room, so no one's looking at me thankfully haha. well, i do have bts pics on the warderobe next to my bed as well so they watch me sleep every night but we dont talk about that. YUTA CARD i would cry. he for sure does look spicy half the time of his life.
i dont know that many rv songs (the audacity, i know) but seulgi... ah. i watched the sm new years concert and when she appeared i couldnt keep my eyes off her. i should really listen to more of their songs so if u have any recs i am all ears
thank you for brightening up my day sunflower ily mwah😔❤
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