Chasing It Down

VIERAPRIL 10 - BREATH

I dream of their breath stopping, and before I know, mine does too.

i cant wait until i fully make sense so izzy thoughts below the cut

it's just SO REFRESHING to know that i -- and others in the same boat (ha) -- actually got izzy. got that he's the antagonist, that he's there to cling to the old guard as ed tries to escape it, that he's the representation of toxic masculinity and white supremacy and self-hating queer people

the thing that made him interesting was that he held so tightly onto one version of piracy (and masculinity) even as the world changed around him. he thought he knew what he wanted. he thought that if he could steer the ship -- steer blackbeard -- back to a bygone era, that would fix everything. izzy is every conservative who thinks that the world is falling apart bc we've lost sight of tradition. izzy is the person who doesn't realize that their hard-headedness is what's causing them misery. izzy is every person so afraid of change that they think their ultimate mission is to go back to what once was. izzy is doing this for YOUR own good

except the show doesn't think that way. at every turn, this show says "there's more than one way to be a man". it says "people can change if they want to". it says "there are people out there who want to forgive you, if you stop hardening your heart". it says "you've built this wall that you think is protecting you, but it's actually the reason why you feel unloveable"

izzy had to change in order to reach that point. he's so stubborn that he had to fall especially hard to even be receptive to it. i don't think he was always kind deep down -- i think he had to be broken down to almost nothing, until his old crutches literally broke beneath him, before he could accept that the world isn't a cruel, selfish place, or that he needs to be cruel and selfish to survive in it

and as he changes, he no longer functions as the antagonist. as ricky says, he got "boring". he's served his purpose. and unlike ed, that's not terrifying to him, because he knows it's true. serving his purpose doesn't mean he has nothing left to live for. it means that when he's finally on his deathbed, he's the old man who had a full life of regret and sadness but also love and joy, and he's finally happy. he finally likes who he is. and it's like his entire life was leading up to a moment where he realizes his true mission was to find love. he's found it, so unlike ed who had to shove himself off the ledge, he lets go by himself. he's not screaming and begging for death like he was in episode 2. he knows that he's leaving behind a man who doesn't need him, but who he loves, and who he knows loves him. and that love isn't possessive and cruel anymore.

i think there's a way the story could've ended without izzy dying, but i think it's very symbolic that in his last moments, he finally accepts who ed wants to be. he was the last one clinging to blackbeard, and he had to let that go for the story to continue. djenks has literally said izzy is the mentor who has to die in act 2 so the protagonist can actually grow into what they need to be.

and i know there are a lot of people who relate to izzy, and i know they don't want to hear it from me, and that's why they lash out at me. they think i've never done this introspection myself, that i've made excuses for my favourite characters (i read this as projection). and i'm hoping that some of them DO that introspection and realize what the show is ACTUALLY trying to tell them; not that you deserve to die for being who you are because fuck, by the time izzy dies, he's NOTHING like what he was. what the show is ACTUALLY trying to tell you is that even if your past is full of cruelty, even if you've hurt others, even if you feel like the world is against you, you can still change. you can become someone you actually like, and who others also like, without losing the parts of you that feel like YOU. YOU can realize all of that before you're on your deathbed finally apologizing for all the shit you did. i'm not saying that everyone else is better than you bc they might have reached that conclusion already. but i AM saying that maybe it might make you happier to be a little vulnerable and a little more accepting of things and people who you thought were against you

i imagine there's a trove of izzy fans who're going to leave the fandom now and do their own insular thing. and i'm not going to pretend that i'm going to miss the people -- regardless of which side of fandom they're on -- who have been shitty to me and others. but if even ONE person realizes that maybe they got izzy wrong? that's good. i'd like that

oh also also, baghera getting increasingly french at the end of the timer was so fucking funny and i love her so much, like when her and phil fought and phil killed her and her accent thickened until she abandoned words and made french noises CHEF'S KISS reminds me of when she played outlast w cellbit slime and jaiden and got progressively more french as the night wore on, genuinely had a blast hearing her progressively dropping more and more swears in french

also reminds me of something i THINK i remember, think it was her who said during brazil she kept accidentally speaking french to people because of how close she felt to them

horizon forbidden west | marshal ivvira 1/?

for the requests , hivemind? or maybe instead prism if you don’t wanna do hive !

This got me to design him and I'm a teeny bit obsessed..gave him large eyes in his glasses to make him "bug eyed" (but it does imply my interpretation of him is long-sighted which is funny). He keeps flowers that bees love on him at all times because of course he would. And he's built like a dad because of all the bee puns ok...I find him delightful

Going into the new year, I'm going to be cleaning up my followers list a little bit ( because i have a lot of people following and i'm never sure who wants to stay mutuals and actually interact or if people just stick around to be nice idk im dumb ).

BUT, i wont be doing a follower clean up until after the new year begins. I am posting this now so I can see who wants to stick around and interact in the future. so, if you want to stay around and interact with my muses in the future, PLEASE LIKE THIS POST so that I know you are interested & want to stay mutuals.

Finaly had time to properly admire the gift from my friend

She literally decided "you like danganronpa? i'll give you A WHOLE BOX of danganronpa!" and I couldn't be happier💘

Boo!

I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]

do you ever try to go out of your comfort zone and get a dress that's different than the rest of your wardrobe. and of a substyle you don't wear and only have surface level familiarity with. but then when you go to style it you get coord block

I went months thinking that one of my favorite st theorists on here must have deactivated bc I hadn't seen posts from them in a while... Just now finding out they have me blocked —

i must be a different breed because i binged ofmd a week ago, immediately fell in love with izzy, my first post was about slapping him against a wall like a wet plushie, and THEN i found out the amount of drama and hate surrounding him. this is so sad 😣

I want to be able to reblog people's art without having to worry about people's negative reactions when it's someone that a majority of people don't like, is that so much to ask?

Why must it be a problem if I like someone's art even if the person believes in something others don't? Why must people treat people like they're bad for liking someone's art and writing when others don't like that person because of their beliefs?

I'm just hanging out and reblogging art and writing that I find enjoyable. In the end that's just what I'm doing when I reblog stuff. Enjoying it. If it's something I don't enjoy/like to see, I just block the tag or, if it's a specific blog that I decided that I didn't enjoy and don't want to see I block that blog as well. Otherwise just vibing. I don't hate anyone that doesn't like someone else of course, but the way people talk about that one person, it's like they think it's the worst possible thing for someone to enjoy that person's art and writing. I just can't hate someone based on that person's beliefs, it just goes against my own personal beliefs, and I can't help that I still enjoy those things.

I try to keep the drama and stuff off my blog cause I'm not about that. And it shouldn't be treated like some kind of crime to still enjoy someone's art/writing/etc just because other people don't like that person, in my opinion.

do you ever see such a blatantly incorrect and downright stupid + insulting reading of your favorite character that you want to snarl like an angry cat

with all the changes that clown is doing to twitter, and the increase in tumblr users because of it, i'd like to give a kind reminder that minors, blank blogs, and ageless blogs will be blocked.

i can't control what minors do or don't do here, hell, i can't control what anyone does here, but i want to minimise the possibility of minors seeing my posts. so if you follow me, and you explicitly state that you're a minor, you'll be blocked. if your blog is completely blank (no posts, no pfp, no header, no bio, no nothing), you'll also be blocked.

if you've got a legitimate blog, but don't have any indication of being an adult (anything in your bio that let's people now you're certainly not a minor, like 18+, the 90's decade, the year you were born, your actual age, or just the word "adult"), i'll give you the benefit of the doubt and just soft-block you. if i soft-block you multiple times and you still haven't added an age indicator to your blog, you'll be blocked.

this last thing is something that I personally do, but don't be surprised if other writers straight up block you from the get-go. if you suddenly realise that all your favourite writers' blogs are gone, it's very likely that you've just been blocked.

i still haven't gotten real baghera and rivers interactions have i........... like the barest of interactions......... a drought........... i was so fucking curious...... i am still so curious............ twenty minutes of conversation and i would be fed forever............ i'd never ask for anything again.... baghera wasn't even there when bolas was doing the whole hostage situation she was off doing her own thing.......... i'm so curious........... i want to know..... what would the dynamic be........ how would they interact............ i'll never know.............. crying...........