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#and because of that it'll stay with me for my whole life probably
anundyingfidelity · 5 months
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FOR ALL TIME, ALWAYS – Loki x female reader
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Summary: Loki escapes the TVA for a moment. Desperate and brokenhearted, he looks for you, his wife, in the Sacred Timeline. Even if you saw him die ten years ago.
Word count: 3.9k.
Warnings: LOTS of angst, some fluff, spoilers of Loki series in general. Language. Maybe I'm not getting how the branches work oops. This is right after the end of 2x02 and before 2x03. My English is also a warning, just in case.
Notes: while looking on the tags I checked a post of someone asking for a TVA Loki fic where he finds the reader but her Loki died in IW (not canon in my head btw). So I wrote it because is such a great idea, but I can't find the original post... ;-; anyway hope you like this!
GEN MASTERLIST!
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It's harder to stay...
Wasn't this situation hard enough? Sylvie was right. She had a point. But Loki wanted to do the right thing. Maybe he would find a chance... Again, right? Probably he would make the proper decisions this time.
The TVA was already fucked up, and with it, the thousands of timelines and lives in danger within them. Sometimes, it looked like it didn't matter. In the end, they were trying to fix something that was already broken.
Loki let out a deep breath he didn't realise was holding and walked to talk directly to his partner, Mobius.
"I need a favor," Loki mumbled, so the grey-haired man would be the only person to hear his voice.
Mobius met his eyes. He knew that gaze, it meant he was up to something. "What kind of favor?"
The god motioned Mobius to step away from the newly acknowledged variants and far away from what B-15 was witnessing. The branches were pruned from the whole existence; thousands and millions of lifes lost to the void in just the blink of an eye. Loki knew he had to do something before it got worst. Something for himself.
"I need to go the Sacred Timeline," Loki announced.
"Are you nuts?" Mobius scolded, in the same low voice tone Loki had used.
"Is just- listen, it's something I have to do. I really need to go back there. Need to see someone, make sure everything is okay," Loki insisted.
During all the times Loki showed he was desperate, Mobius was sure this was the peak of all of them. He wasn't explaning more than necessary, he looked serious, and his voice was crisp. Loki knew what he wanted at that moment. Mobius sighed, his hands finding the pockets of his pants, unsure of Loki's request.
"So it's personal..."
"A little, yeah," Loki nodded.
"Promise it'll be quick," Mobius said, taking off the TemPad from his pocket and his hand stopped in the air before the object could lay in the god's grip. "Don't make me regret this."
"I won't."
2029, Sacred Timeline
When Loki arrived to his destination, the nerves got the best from him. New York looked no different from the last time he was there. Shifting his usual clothes he wore at the TVA, he chose a plain suit to go undercover, or at least decided he would try to, considering he was a criminal once in Midgard.
But as he walked through the halls of the familiar building he met decades ago, he didn't really care. He longed for something else. Better say, someone. And it was you.
You, who met him in the past right after Thor's banishment, and even helped him to find the Teseract, only to give up to SHIELD and those idiots that people called 'The Avengers'. Of course his heart hurted for a long time, but Loki tried to deny the feelings blooming inside and instead, he just decided to walk away from you, even if that meant hurting you. It was the best.
At least that was what he believed until he checked further his file; the file that Mobius had prepared for him. His life. Even after what he did to your people and planet, you still held no grudges. And Thor was good enough to seek for yours and the sorcerer's, Stephen Strange, help once Hela appeared in their lives.
Loki would never forget the loving look in your beautiful eyes when you saw him again, after years of parting ways. He really paid attention to you while watching his file, and he found there was only love, protection, and care in you. All for him. Someone who didn't deserve it, he thought.
He felt grateful at least he had the pleasure to enjoy happiness for a moment. Even if that meant Asgard was destroyed. Loki already lost his mother, his father, and he almost lost his brother. He couldn't stand losing you either. The simple idea of living without you - even if he didn't know you further than your Loki did - was unbearable pain.
So while in the ship on the way to Midgard with the asgardians and survivors of the Ragnarok, you held a cozy, small wedding when he asked you to marry him. This was one of the parts Loki would replay again and again from his file, with disbelief that he was actually happy and joyful, enjoying a good time with you, his brother, and all the asgardians who survived. Loki felt full of hope after your wedding, thinking fate had better things to come with you as an oficial part of his life.
Unfortunately, it didn't last long, thanks to the Mad Titan. As his steps got near your door, the memory of his brother and your figure mourning on his lifeless body appeared on his mind. It was an image he couldn't erase that easily. Probably, he would never forget that was his original destiny all the way. That was meant to be. And for now, he could not change it.
Loki stopped outside your apartment. He took a deep breath and raised his shaking hand to reach the doorbell. He waited for a moment, not knowing if seconds or minutes went by, it felt eternal. Until the door opened and he saw you.
The bright smile you had on your lips faded away. Your eyes flooded with tears, your forehead was furrowed, and still, Loki thought you were the most beautiful creature in all the Nine Realms.
"Hi..." Loki barely whispered, his eyes were glossy and a single tear also ran down his pale cheek.
You were clearly in shock. You wanted to get closer and finally touch him, to feel him physically. But even if you wanted to move to take his hand to confirm it wasn't a trick of your ruined mind, your body was stiff and your feet were glued to the ground.
"Is this an illusion?" you trembled.
All Loki could do was shaking his head, before muttering. "No..."
"Loki, I saw you die..."
Tears ran down your face, denying to yourself that this was real. That this was really happening to you. And your mind started to wonder all the possible scenarios and reasons on why him, the god of mischief, the only person you loved dearly with all your mind, body and soul, was standing right in front of your door even if he was gone for you... Long gone now. And that couldn't be undone.
"I know you did, my love."
You tried to smile, even a little bit, as he pronounced those words so dearly. Loki came closer to your figure, carefully placing a trembling hand on your cheek, feeling the tears flowing on your skin. You leaned into his touch, with a simpering smile. Such was the effect you had on him, that a silly smile he also had on his lips.
And you realized Loki was so real... His touch, his heat, his smile, his scent, the way he would hold you... Everything about him was exactly as you remembered. You felt his lips brushing softly against yours, gentle and hesitant, and instantly, you melted into a slow kiss, sure knowing that Loki would taste the salt of your tears running down your face. Leaning in closer as the space between would allow you, you savoured each second your breaths allowed, longing to remain right there for eternity. For all time. Always.
"But now I am here... and I can explain," he whispered once you separated your lips from his in the sweetest way.
You let out a soft chuckle. "Mind to enlighten me, oh, god of mischief?"
Finally you guided him inside your apartment. That old apartment Loki saw his other self visiting a couple of times before you were something. It still had your vibe around it and he loved it. He felt like he was at home after a very long time. Once you closed the door, his arms wrapped around your figure, and you let yourself cry, pressing against his chest and with a tight grip of your hands on his coat.
"You don't have any idea of how much I have missed you all these years," you sobbed and his heart shrank on his chest. "I kept wishing every night and every day to be me instead of you."
"My love," he said softly, separating a little and cupping your cheeks with his warm hands. His eyes were red now because of the tears he was holding back again. "Don't say that... It was supposed to happen."
"What?" you mumbled.
Your hands found his wrists and you pulled his palms away from your cheeks. However you kept the contact with him, you just needed to touch him, to feel he was in the flesh. He was alive right now, wasn't he?
"Look, I am not your Loki. I know what you did, what the Avengers did after Thanos-" his voice broke just a bit but he continued. "I know everything. I just couldn't resist knowing there was someone for me, out there in the Nine Realms, capable to love me for who I am," Loki explained as he watched your face. Was it disappointment? Confusion? He didn't know, but he had to tell you the truth.
Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper. "So... you are saying... you're another Loki? Another him?"
He nodded softly. "I am." Loki thought for a moment on how to explain everything, but he just went for what his heart felt it was right. "It's a little complicated. I did something that wasn't supposed to be, and perhaps will sound like I'm insane, but thanks to that I am kind of trapped in time. With an organization that is not what everyone thought it was, hence a multiverse was created. Sponsored by another me, by the way. You are in what is called the Secret Timeline, where things flow as how they were supposed to since forever. And I just needed to see you after I found out you were the love of my life."
You took a moment to understand everything he said, wishing that his fate would have been different from what originally happened. Loki gave his best, even in the last worst moments, he was changing for good. For you. For Thor... It wasn't fair.
"Your death was supposed to be then?"
"Yes, it was."
"Oh, Loki," you cried. "You know what, I don't care what's happened. I'm just- I feel happy seeing you here... Please tell me everything you've been through. I want to hear your voice again, to know you're with me right now, to feel you near... I'm not crazy, am I?" you chuckled between tears and Loki curved his lips in a smile, wiping your tears from your face with his thumbs.
Loki granted your wish and explained everything, answering every question you had about the lies of the TVA; the files he found out were his whole life; about Sylvie, Mobius and his variants. He spilled all you wanted to hear, asking like a child, until you understood what was happening. You noticed he truly had changed, just like your Loki did when he reunited with Thor before the Ragnarok took over Asgard. It was a bittersweet feeling however, thinking how much they they seemed to each other. They were the same person after all, but this Loki didn't had the chance to continue his path as it was supposed to.
Taking his hand into yours, you leaned towards him and laid down your head on his shoulder while you both sat comfortable in the couch, just enjoying each others company. Your eyes were dry at this point after crying for what it felt were hours, but his voice helped to soothe you enough.
"I'm glad knowing you have someone like Mobius by your side," you said after a quiet moment. "He sounds like a very good friend," you looked at him, waiting for an answer. "Because that's what he is to you, right?"
"He is a great friend, I'm not alone if that is what is troubling you," Loki affirmed.
You let out a sigh. "That is totally a relief to me."
Loki chuckled softly, leaning to leave a kiss on your hair. "Now you've heard everything about me, would I hear something from you?"
"I'm just a mortal, Loki," you smiled. "Doing the normal shit, not the superhero stuff anymore. I am hating my pretty much normal office job every day; I feed the birds when I go outside at the park, also thinking about adopting a cat or a dog... Maybe a dog."
"Or you could do both."
"Yeah, I might. But my place isn't that big for pets. Sometimes I feel like I'm too alone, very much alone... I would love to have a big farm, or a cabin in the mountains with lots of plants, pets and animals to take care of." The idea did sound good for Loki. Hopefuly you could find peace that way. "Do you remember Pepper?" you said, straighting up on the couch to look at him. He nodded. "Well, after Tony died I still visit her and their daughter, Morgan. She is ten years old, could you believe it?" Loki noticed the sorrow and pain you still carried after all those years of losing your friends, your people... "And I've been missing you and mourning you for ten years as well."
"It's not your fault."
"I know, Loki."
"Do whatever is the best for you, my dear... I would have loved to be here with you now, as the Loki from the Sacred Timeline."
You smiled, but it was a sad smile. "Well, either way, you're here now. It's all that matters to me."
Once again, you shared a loving kiss and took his hand to walk to the kitchen, asking him to take a seat in your breakfast bar, glad he decided to search for you in one of your free days. Otherwise, you would have surely missed his visit. But he was looking for you. Probably Loki would have found you anywhere at this point.
You talked some more while you had some tea and ate some cookies that you saved for special days on the shelfs. The afternoon was pleasant, and this was your turn to speak. Loki, coat long gone, was catching up with you and he asked every single thing about your life now. He smiled more than ever, laughed more than you have ever seen, and it was certainly something you could get used to from now on. Knowing you never continued your life with another person made his heart ache though. However, Loki was no one to blame. He would have done the same thing. No other was like you, no one would have replaced you.
"It's my decision," you finally said, reading his face like an open book. "I have loved you, I love you now and I will love you forever."
He took your hand, lacing your fingers with his. "I know..."
"The day we married you gave me a ring. I always have it with me, today I'm not working, but I use this necklace with your ring," you searched for the necklace hiding inside your shirt and taking it off, you showed him the precious jewel hanging on a fine golden chain. The ring he recognized once was from his mother. "I want you to have it."
"No,I can't-"
"But this is what I want. I know I would have to forget, because you will make me forget about this. About you, coming here, risking everything just to see me. So please, take it."
Loki knew you had made a decision, but then if he left, taking your memories away about this day, what was left for you? He had nothing, and it was okay. He would still know he came to the Sacred Timeline; that he kissed you, that you shared a moment together, that you still loved him. But you will have none of that. And you, as human as you were, would die without the memories and without the ring. You would have nothing and he was sure couldn't bear it.
"Perhaps I can have something else to remember you, I want you to keep this ring as a promise," he closed your hand around the necklace. "My promise that I still love you and I will do it. Forever."
And you sighed, taking the necklace back with a smile. Always so stubborn. "Give me a moment."
Loki saw you leave the kitchen for some minutes. While he was alone, he noticed the sunset through the windows, as it was almost ending to welcome the dark sky around the city. He knew he had to go soon. As much as he didn't want to and the simple thought of runing away was starting to hurt him deep inside.
When you arrived, you stood by his seat on the breakfast bar, putting a small photograph, perfect for a passport, on the surface. It was all in black and white, and you looked what you thought it was nice. Loki took it between his hands, lovingly and with a proud smile on his face.
"I used that when I was taking my Master's degree. Looks pretty decent," you joked.
Loki laughed, tears right at the corner of his eyes. "It's more than that. It's perfect."
His smile faded, knowing this meant he had to leave you again. Loki wasn't supposed to have a happy ending, was he? How he wished to stay there by your side.
You kissed his cheek as a sort of goodbye and comfort at the same time, noticing the sudden change on his face and whispered softly. "So you don't search for me on those files."
"Thank you, love."
Loki got on his feet to put his coat on, like some sort of mental preparation before leaving your apartment and the Sacred Timeline. He saved your photograph on his pocket securely along with Mobius' TemPad, pretending to be strong and swallowing all the pain he was feeling right at that moment. You took his hand, lacing your fingers together one last time and walked until you stood there, in the middle of your living room. He looked at you with loving eyes, trying to save your face and your figure before returning to where he was supposed to be now. And it seemed like time had stopped, as everything Loki could see and feel was you and only you.
"I guess is time now," you began, interrupting his mind.
"I guess it is," Loki nodded, expecting an answer from you. Anything. But it never came. You were also trying to save the moment as much as you could.
So he cupped your cheeks, feeling for the last time your warm, soft skin against his palms. He didn't want to talk, because if he would have said something, it meant you were really saying goodbye forever. What Loki didn't know is that you felt the same thing.
Was there something good to say to your lover, whose destiny was just to bring the best from other people with his cruelty and chaos? To the man who had learn to make things better and, in the end, died trying to protect his people and his wife? Was there anything out there that would bring the god of mischief the happiness and love you always knew he deserved? With these branches and multiverse thing, you hoped deep in your heart there was a universe where he found what he longed for so long. This was just one of many of them. Probably he was happy and living in peace in some others.
"I love you, Loki," you mumbled. He caressed your skin with his thumbs and wiped the small tears that were running on your cheeks.
"I love you too."
Loki leaned to kiss you one last time. You welcomed the kiss with shut eyes, savouring his lips and the taste of your tears, mixing now with his own.
The pain started to bloom; every heartbeat felt like a sledgehammer pounding against his chest. He was not ready to let you go, so this was all he could do. The seidr flowed from his fingers, the green lights covering your body with the help of the spell he casted for you was made to protect you from anything that could get out of hand in the Sacred Timeline, particularly from his own hands, the hands of the TVA, or any other danger that could chase you. Because if something would happen to you due to his stubborn decision, Loki knew he wouldn't forgive himself. What he was sure about though, was that he would still look for you until the end of time.
So when the kiss ended, you fell asleep in seconds. He had to take your sleeping figure with his arms to your bedroom, where he carefully laid you down on the bed. Making sure you were comfortable in your sleep, fixing the pillows and the blankets, Loki remained there, just to take in the serenity emanating from you. It was something you had, the ease and calm your aura projected to everyone in the room. This was the last thing Loki wanted to save from you.
He kissed your forehead and dried the tears on your face before standing up. Once you were to wake up in some hours, you would not be able to know everything was real. Loki made sure you thought it was a dream. So that is what you would have in your head. Something you wished for so long that will only be nothing but thoughts, scenes and emotions that felt absolutely true. As real as life could be.
Loki took the TemPad and opened the timedoor to go back to the TVA, where he knew Mobius would be waiting already since he left for hours. Without looking back to your room, he stepped in and forced to compose himself just in case he would bump into someone else. He sighed, observing through the halls of the headquaters as he made his way back to the room that was assigned to him.
At his door, a worried Mobius was already waiting for him, walking in circles.
"God, Loki I thought you were gone for a second," the analyst breathed out. Loki just handed the TemPad and Mobius took it back. He noticed his weary demeanor and teary eyes. "Thank you. Sorry I doubted you for a second."
"It's fine," Loki shrugged it off, looking for something on his pocket. The photograph slipped from his fingers and fell down to the floor. Mobius was quick enough to pick it up for him, but as he gave it back to his owner he observed it thoroughly.
"So this was the personal thing you did," Mobius said, looking the photograph resting on Loki's hand. He remembered that face from his files.
"Yeah... I guess all set now," Loki sighed.
"Good, I hope you're ready for another trip to the Sacred Timeline." Mobius turned to walk away, deciding it was better to give him some time, but he turned back to Loki before doing so. "And if you're feeling like talking about this any day, only between us, just let me know."
And with that, he walked away. Loki smiled, standing alone outside his door.
You were right. Mobius was a good friend.
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b-1-tchinheat · 11 days
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To be spoiled (WIP)
HEAY PET PLAY
Inspired by @scarlettwlw
You wake up feeling much better than you've ever felt after sleeping in a cage. Probably because of how large and cushioned your cage is. Nonetheless, you wake up in a bad mood; you had an amazing dream about being a stray again.
When your first owners abandoned you it was so lonely, you stayed in the same spot they left you in hoping for them to return. But after a while, you realized they weren't, and your hunger overcame your loyalty. After you found someone to guilt into giving you a whole burger, life was good. Being an ex-herding dog, you were fast, strong, and unbeatable.
So you joined a stray pack and quickly became the leader, and life was good. Unfortunately, Hupets don't stay strays for long; you and your whole pack were picked up and put in a center.
Now you're here staring blankly at the lovely redhead, Wanda was her name you think, begging you to leave your cage and come eat breakfast. You lay defiantly relaxed, with no intent to move. Maria and Natasha are already downstairs, so you don't have to worry about being moved by force. Unfortunately for you, you have an unrealized weakness that rears its head as soon as Wanda says, "Come on, Bambi, be a good pup for me, please?"
As soon the words good and pup leave her lips, your heart soars, and it takes everything in you to, stay steadfast in your resolve. Wanda doesn't miss how you squirm or the look on your face when she mentions being a good pup, so she leans into it, "Isn't my good girl hungry, hmm? I promise you won't be eating any of that nasty stuff they fed you at the shelter."
Thinking about it now, you are starving, and it comes with the plus of being good for the only person that's been nice to you so far. You tell yourself it's your choice to leave the cage and follow Wanda, but in reality, you are absolutely wipped.
Once you both make it downstairs you see Maria and Natasha eating silently in a little breakfast nook. Both of the greet Wanda, but only Natasha greets you. Wanda brings you into the kitchen where you spot your bowls, nestled neatly in the corner.
Wanda starts preparing your breakfast and head back to where Maria and Natasha were. Pawing at Natasha leg, staring up at her with your best puppy eyes and whining. You know she's got breakfast sasuage and you want some. She looks down at you and chuckles,
"Look at that, last night you where trying to run away now you want some of my food?" She chuckles again, and holds out her hand with a peice of sausage in her palm. You happily eat it right out of her hand, and it is as good as you remeber.
"Natasha don't give it anything else. It'll eat it's food or nothing at all," your mood immediately sours again once you hear Maria's voice and you go back into the kitchen. completely ignoring her. Wanda is still preparing your breakfast so you sit at her feet and wait.
Once she's done, she places your bowl down near your water bowl. You sniff it first just to make sure it's actual food. You are pleasantly surprised to find that it's broccoli, rice, and steak on top of some normal human pet food. You devour it gladly and drink as much water as possible. You find Wanda and Natasha in the breakfast nook once your done and lay at Wanda's feet.
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fivestar-outlaw · 4 months
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New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Epilogue)
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Epilogue
Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader
Words: 7.0k+
Warning(s): Mentions of reader being anxious/having anxiety, some swears, drinking, i think thats it.
SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (F receiving)/ face sitting, slight cockwarming, birthcontrol used, No condom use, PiV penetration, cowgirl yeehaw
A/N: Fucking- Finally finished the epilog. Grad school is slowly but surely killing me rn. I only had time to write this during the undergrad class im taking for credits iubgouoren. I hope yall enjoy.
Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST
English dialogue is italicized, Korean dialogue is not
Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.
Series Masterlist | Navigation
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You sat at your desk, phone set up for a video call with Seonghwa. You felt nervous. Tomorrow is your graduation, where you'll finally be done with this aspect of your life and will be moving onto the next step. Despite the distance, you and Seonghwa were as close as ever. You both missed each other dearly but talked as frequently as possible. 
You were a little sad that he and the rest of Ateez couldn't make it to your graduation, but you understood why. You didn't have much hope when you told Hongjoong the date and he told you he'd ask if they could. You tried to tell him not to ask since you knew they would be busy with an upcoming comeback, but he insisted he'd try. He talked to you the next night saying they had a packed schedule for that week and couldn't. You figured as much but it still made you a little sad.
You hear the tone for the video call and you quickly answer it with a smile. You see Hwa sitting there, but not in his room. You couldn't quite figure out where he was. He seemed to be wearing a loose sweater and a pair of glasses frames.
"Hello, jagiya." Seonghwa smiled sweetly, he seemed tired.
"Hello, love." You respond. "How are you? You seem a little tired."
"The week has been busy."
"Aw, I'm sorry. Are you currently at a schedule?" You tilt your head. You see him look off to the side. You can see that he seems to be hiding something, but you figure it was because he couldn't talk about anything specific related to any of the filmed comeback videos.
"Yeah, we are staying at a hotel. We are going to start filming soon." He sighs. "It was a last minute decision since filming took longer than expected yesterday. I wish I could tell you everything that went wrong but I can't."
"I'm sure it'll go better today, love."
 "Thank you, jagiya. But enough about me, jagiya, how are you? Are you excited for tomorrow?"
"A mix of excited and nervous. Excited to have my degree... nervous for whatever comes next. Nervous about walking across that stage to get that empty diploma case and not having a solid next thing waiting for me." You press your lips together and glance over to your cap and gown hanging in your open closet. The whole ordeal almost seems daunting now. "I've applied for jobs in my field but I haven't heard anything back... I doubt any will get back to me when I am fresh out of university."
"I wish I was there with you, (Y/N)." He looked into the camera with a concerned expression. "You'll exceed at whatever you do. I know you will. You are smart and very determined."
"It's probably just all the nerves." You chuckle weakly.
"Just know myself and the others are cheering for you, even if we can't be there. Which, we are still sorry for by the way."
"Don't worry about it. I'll have my family film my walk across the stage and we will take lots of pictures to send to you all."
"We look forward to it." He smiles. You hear a door opening and what you believe to be Hongjoong's voice. You couldn't make out what he said but you saw Seonghwa nod before hearing the door close. "Sorry, (Y/N), I have to go. We need to get ready for filming today."
"Don't apologize, love. You got this. I'm sure you will do great." You smile and you can just tell some of the stress he was feeling dissipate. 
"I love you, jagiya." He says softly.
"I love you too." There is some hesitancy to hang up but you bit the bullet and pressed the little red button on the call. You sigh, but feel lighter. It was like talking to Hwa helped calm your worries.
---
You stood with your family for a moment before you needed to join the rest of the graduating students. You stood with them in your cap and gown and a nice outfit underneath. You couldn't help but wring your hands together. You weren't necessarily nervous, but you did feel a little anxious from the excitement now. You felt you childhood best friend place their hand on your shoulder and they give you a calm smile.
"It's going to be fine, (Y/N)." They gently squeezed your shoulder. "I doubt you'll trip, so don't worry."
"Well I wasn't worried about tripping until now." You groan. "I'm not nervous. I just... can't stay still."
"Oh (Y/N), it's okay to be nervous." Your mother coos, rubbing small circles into your upper back. "Just think about the surprise we have planned for you."
"Surprise?"
"Hun, you weren't suppose to mention that." Your father chuckles. 
"I thought I told you all I needed was just a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant." You say softly. "I hope you didn't spend too much-"
"Don't worry about it. We wanted to get you something for such a big day." Your father grinned. You were going to argue back but heard the call for graduating students to start getting in place for the ceremony.
"Make sure to film my walk please!" You said and they nodded. Your family and your best friend gives you one last hug before you go to where you were supposed to, while they went off to grab seats.
You take a deep breath as you find your spot in line with the rest of your majors getting the same degree level as you and your roommate, who also was graduating alongside you. You smiled at some of your classmates you were friendly with and chatted with them. You were given a slip of paper with your name on it by one of your professors and you were left to wait for the ceremony to start. 
You felt your phone buzz under your gown. You were glad you picked something to wear underneath with pockets. You manage to get your phone out and you smile. All of Ateez were wishing you well and saying their congrats. San even sent a selfie of them all together, which they said was taken after they finished filming. You were glad they messaged you and made sure to tell them to get some rest since it was around 6am for them.
The line you were in started moving so you quickly put your phone away and started walking with your line. You can hear lots of chatter from other graduating students and could hear the chatter from people in the stands. You and the others stood still until you heard one of the deans call you guys to enter. You hear the crowd cheer as the graduating class enters the area. You tried to pinpoint your family and your best friend but had no luck finding them in the sea of people. You take your seat and wait for the rest of the graduate students to also take their seats as the stereotypical graduation march song plays.
The song ended when everyone was finished sitting down. Next were speeches by the college president, a provosts, and a dean whom you never personally interacted with, and then two professors spoke; one is the chair of your major which made you smile. Next were student speeches, neither person you recognized.
You gulp, watching as the rows ahead of you go up one by one as they were instructed by a professor to do so. There was the constant noise of clapping with each name, followed by a few people loudly cheering for whoever just got called. You clapped along as well, watching each person receive their diploma case from the college president and walk to the side to get their picture taken professionally.
Next thing you knew the people in your row started to stand. You quickly got to your feet and follow along to the stage. You wait, taking small steps as person by person hands over their name slip and walk the stage. You were getting closer and closer to the speakers stand.
Then, it's your turn.
You made conscious steps to the speaker, not wanting to trip. You hand them your name card and wait as the person ahead finished crossing the stage. The speaker smiled and read your name into the microphone. You start walking across stage to the president as the crowd clapped.
You hear loud cheers coming from the stand on the other side of the stage, more than what you were expecting from the three people there seeing you graduate. You finally see your parents and your best friend up on their feet, your dad and friend shouting loudly. But in the row in front of them, you see eight figures also on their feet shouting as loud as they can. Immediately you can tell it is Ateez. Even with face masks, different hats, and inconspicuous clothes, you could tell they were your boys. Plus, you can easily tell Wooyoung and Mingi's voices as they were the loudest and most distinct.
A large smile broke out on your face as you kept your tears at bay. You walked the stage with your head held high. You shook hands with the college president and took hold of the diploma case. You walked to the end of the stage and carefully took the steps down. You got your picture taken and you started walking back to your seat.
You look up at the stand when you heard your name shouted repeatedly by Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. Each member of Ateez waved as you walked by and you made sure to wave back. You felt pure happiness in the moment.
---
When the ceremony ended and all the graduates exited the way they walked in, you immediately started making your way outside. Your parents texted saying they were waiting for you by the large oak tree. You weave your way through the sea of students and their families as fast as you could. You could see the top of the tree but you knew the trunk was still some distance away from where the ceremony was held. 
You finally breach the crowd and see your parents, your best friend, and Ateez, along with their manager. They spotted you and called your name. You immediately quickened your pace.
Wooyoung held out his arms for a hug but you passed him and immediately clung to Seonghwa. The tears you held back immediately fell as you hugged him.
"Y-You're here! I can't believe you're here! Hongjoong said you guys were busy. You said you-" You rapidly spoke.
"Slow down, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles. He held you tightly and rubbed your back. 
"Sorry, my love." You sniffle and look to his face. Despite the black mask covering his nose down to his jaw, you can tell he has a big grin on his face. He moves a step back from you, resting his hands on your jaw. The pads of his thumbs swipe away your tears gently. "I'm so happy to see you in person again."
"I'm happy too." He carefully guided you to turn around so he could move back in front of you, his back to the crowd. He pulls down his mask and leans in, his soft lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You couldn't help but smile against his lips as it felt like world around each of you melted away. You both slowly pulled away but kept your faces close. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you, (Y/N)." He whispers and kisses each cheek, making you giggled. 
"Congratulations, (Y/N)!" Wooyoung broke the moment of peace between you both as he pulled you into a big hug. You tilt your head back and laugh, all while there rest of Ateez swarmed you for their own hugs. Your face ached from how much you were smiling.
"Seonghwa contacted us a week after you had us do that video call with him." Your mother started to explain. You remember that day well, feeling nervous for your parents to meet your long distance, idol boyfriend. But they immediately loved him and exchanged contact information; mostly just in case you got in an emergency so they could inform him. Subsequently, of course, your parents met the rest of Ateez. "They wanted to surprise you and here they are."
"Sorry I lied to you, (Y/N)." Hongjoong laughed, his smile telling you he was anything but apologetic. "Yuhno suggested the idea of it being a surprise when I ran into him before I talked it over with our company. So really, blame him."
"Hey, you could of said no, Joong-hyung." Yuhno playfully glared then set his sights on Seonghwa. "Didn't you initiate the call with her parents?"
"Yes, but Sannie and Woo also sat in on the call too." Seonghwa shot back. The group delved into a big, non-serious argument of who is to blame for the lies. You shook your head with a chuckle and went to your parents.
"Thank you for arranging this." You hug them both tightly.
"Of course, (Y/N). We could see how happy you were when we met him and how yourself you were with the rest of the group, so we knew we had to put this together for you somehow." Your father had a big smile on his face, you could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, my child is all grown up..."
"I've been grown up, dad. Don't cry, you're going to make me cry again." You chuckle, feeling that sting of tears again in your eyes. You feel arms wrap around you from behind and you knew immediately it is Seonghwa. "Did you guys settle who's fault it is, love?"
"No, but it seems everyone puts the blame back on Hongjoong." He laughs. He smiles at your parents and gives them a polite bow of his head. The rest of Ateez joined back up with your parents and your best friend. They started discussing dinner plans, you jumping in when needed for translation help.
Your smile doesn't leave your face as you lean back into Seonghwa. You could have just cheap take out with everyone and you'd be happy.
---
You said goodbye to your parents and best friend when everyone arrived back at your apartment after dinner. They wanted to let you have some time alone with Ateez. Your parents managed to reserve a private space at a great restaurant ran by a friend of your mother's. The manager went to buy snacks and drinks for the rest of you guys for tonight at a near by convenience store.
"Wow you have a nice place, (Y/N)." Yeosang compliments as he looks at the various decorations and how you and your roommate placed the minimal furniture.
"Thanks, it was a collaborative effort with my roomie. Which, be as loud as you guys want. She won't be in for a few nights since she'll be staying with her family." You smile and turn go to put leftovers from dinner in the fridge, missing the way everyone looked towards Seonghwa. "How long are you here for?"
"Just the rest of tonight. We fly back early in the morning tomorrow. We may have pulled this off but we still have busy schedules coming up." Jongho answers.
"Sorry we can't stay longer." San sighs with an apologetic smile.
"No worries, I'm happy you guys made it for today." You grin and move to sit next to Hwa on the couch, immediately leaning against him. "So I take it you guys flew in last night? Is that why you were actually in a hotel, love?"
He chuckles and nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm. "I'm glad we got to witness this."
"Of course, I'd do the same for you guys."
"Well, if you would..." Mingi smiles as he walks in front of you, holding out several small pieces of paper for you. You gingerly take them, and look at everyone with confusion and curiosity as they surrounded the couch. Wooyoung took his spot next to you and rested his chin on your shoulder, aka, on Seonghwa's hand.
"Oh my God." You gasp as you look at each paper. They chuckled at your shock. There were several plane tickets; one to South Korea, a round trip ticket to Japan and then back to Korea, and then one back home. The next paper was a pass for the waterbomb festival coming up.
"We will email you the actual virtual tickets soon." Wooyoung said with a big grin.
"A graduation present from us and our manager." Seonghwa kissed your temple.
"This had to be so expensive..."
"Don't worry about it at all. We didn't have to pay for the waterbomb ticket and we all chipped in for the flights." Yuhno said softly from behind the couch. You felt his hand pat the top of your head a few times. There was a knock at the door and the tallest went to open the door for their manager,  who came in with two, black plastic bags and one backpack. You quickly got up to your feet and approached him with a smile.
"Thank you for all you have done."
"I should thank you for helping me keep them in line." He chuckles and hands you the plastic bags. He walks over to the couch and sets the backpack at Seonghwa's feet. "Remember, we have a flight back to Korea tomorrow. Don't drink too much. (Y/N), drink all you want."
Some time passed and everyone was lounging around in the living room of your apartment. Mingi, San, and Wooyoung took over the couch. Jongho, Yuhno, Yeosang, and their manager sat in chairs from the small kitchen table. You, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong were sitting on the floor, all while everyone watched a trashy, American reality show. You were sitting between Hwa's legs with your back against his chest while he rested against San's legs.
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You fish it out and unlock it, seeing it was an email notification. You tapped the notification, though you didn't read what it was for, figuring it was a promotional thing or something. You looked up at the tv screen for a moment before taking a moment to read over the contents of the email.
Your eyes slowly widened with each line you read. You felt your heart flutter as you sit up straight. You felt Seonghwa's hands on your hips and he had a curious look on his face.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" He asks softly, trying not to draw everyones attention. He leans forward and you can feel his chest on your back again, his chin on your shoulder. You raise your phone screen up so he can have an easier time reading the email. You turn your head just enough to see his expression turn to one of shock. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight as a big smile broke out on his face. "Does... Does this mean...?"
"What's happening?" Sannie asked from the couch. He leaned forward as well and you pass him your phone. You can practically feel the excitement oozing from Seonghwa. San suddenly stood up, knocking into the eldest's back. He had a huge grin, his dimple prominent on his face. 
Wooyoung snatched your phone from San and you watched as his eyes scan over the screen. He then looks up at you with a big smile. "No way!"
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Mingi asked while Yeosang muted the channel. 
"Well-" San started to speak but then clasps his own hand over his mouth for a moment. He hands you back your phone and sits back down. He eagerly gestures for you to speak. You feel Hwa's hands gently squeeze your hips.
"A job I applied for contacted me and told me they were looking for fresh faces and say they see potential with my resume, my CV, and from my letters of recommendation." You beamed and everyone looked excited for you. A sea of congratulations soon followed. You kept your beaming expression and you see Hongjoong look at you.
"There is more, isn't there?" He asked, a smile growing on his face.
"The job is located in Seoul. And they are allowing me to start towards the end of the year to give me time to get my legal documents situated and to move." 
There was a moment of silence.
Then, your apartment became chaos with pure excitement. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San already pledged themselves to help you find a place in your upcoming visit. Mingi and Yuhno express excitement for the prospect of staying over at your new place. Yeosang, Jongho, and Hongjoong already start to make plans for when you start living there. Everyone decides to have one more drink to celebrate, their manager unable to say no to such an occasion.
---
You give each member a hug as they are about to leave for the night, saying your goodbyes. You move to hug Seonghwa but he sidesteps you and moves to stand behind you. You give him a confused look while the others chuckle.
"I'm staying with you tonight, jagiya." He pecked your cheek. The others say goodnight, their manager telling him to be read by 7am, and they all quickly leave. Now, it's just you and Seonghwa. 
"That's why he brought a backpack for you." You laugh and turn to face him. You place your hands on the back of his neck and raise a brow. "You've been nothing but surprises today. I really do appreciate it." 
"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you." He smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss you. Unlike the other kisses you two shared today, this one was longer and more passionate. You can feel his lips move against yours as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. You smile against the kiss. Before you could part your lips, he pulls away with a flirtatious look. 
"I love you, love." He smiles at your words. He lifts his hand up and gently traces his fingers down the side of your face, sending shivers down your spine. His arms wrap around your body and he keeps you pressed against him.
"I love you too, jagiya." He brings you into another intense kiss, his tongue invading your mouth this time. You feel his fingers curl in against your back, all while your hands find themselves in his hair. He breaks the kiss once more but rests his forehead against yours. "Would you like to celebrate a little more? We don't have to go further than this-"
"I would love to." You grin. You move from Seonghwa's grasp and take his hand, pulling him to your bedroom.
The second you closed the door, Hwa is already guiding you to your bed. He lays you down on your back while he crawls over you, his lips pressed against yours. His hands grip your hips before he starts to slide them under your shirt. He shifts his leg, placing it between your thighs. His knee is just barely brushes against your core. His hands start to gently kneed your breasts over your bra.
Seonghwa starts to trail tender kisses down from your mouth to your neck. You smile at the affection and you place a kiss of your own on the top of his head. He smirked against your neck as he gently bites your skin. You feel him shift his leg that was between your legs, applying a small amount of pressure against your cunt. You let out a soft noise from the sensation and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.
You move one your hands down to the growing bulge in his pants. Seonghwa chuckled and sat up, taking your hand off him.
"Tonight is all about you, jagiya." He smiled softly. He took hold of both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head. "Let me worship you."
You felt a pleasant shiver down your spine again and you nod. Hwa let go of your hands and began kissing your neck again. This time his kisses and bites to your neck were more intense. You knew for sure you would have a couple of marks there. He released his hold on your wrists but you kept your arms about head. Your body is completely at his mercy and that had you excited.
You felt him press his leg against your aching core again and this time you rolled your hips to seek pleasure, causing yourself to moan.
"Good, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles as he moves his face by your ear. You feel his lips brush against your ear before he gently nips it. He sat up and helped you up as well.
He hums softly, tracing his nose along your face before he kisses you again. He gently nibbles your bottom lip and stares deeply into your eyes. Hwa licks his lips as he leans down and scans your body with his eyes. You feel his hand take hold of your shirt and slowly lift it up and off your body. His fingers nimbly unclasps your bra and he tosses it off your body. 
Seonghwa's hands caress and gently squeeze your breasts, the pads of his thumbs were on your nipples as he rubbed small circles with them.  He hummed with a smile. "I missed these."
You chuckle softly. "You missed my boobs?"
"Yes." He moves himself so his face his close to them. "I missed all off you, (Y/N). I missed your face, your touch, your taste... I missed seeing your smile in person, I missed hearing your laugh right beside me. I miss you."
"I miss you too Hwa." You give his cheek a tender peck. You bite your bottom lip as his hands still kneaded your breasts and his thumbs applied some pressure. "Luckily I got that job. I'll be a lot closer to you by next year."
"Still feels so far away." He whispers and starts kissing your chest. He bites the skin and sucks, doing this until he reached your nipples. His mouth encompasses the pebbled skin. You bring one of your hands up to his head and combed your fingers through his hair. He sucks and gently nibbles, his tongue rolling over your perked bud. He does this to both nipples for a few moments before pulling away, a line of saliva briefly hangs between his lips and your skin. "I want to try something, jagiya." 
"What do you want to try, love?"
"Would you want to sit on my face and let me pleasure you?" His question makes your face flush with heat. 
"You'd want to do that? Are-Are you sure you want me to sit on your face?" You can feel yourself getting more wet by the second.
"Of course." He smiles sweetly. He sits up straight so he can meet your eyes easily, his hands slide down and gently hold onto your hips. "Like I said, jagiya, I missed your taste and I think you will look breathtaking doing so... Do you want to try this out with me?"
"Then... I would like to." You bite your bottom lip and smile. His face broke out in a grin and he helped you off your lap. He moves to lay down as you slip off your pants and underwear. You move yourself up the bed near his head and carefully placed your leg on the other side of his head. His hands slid up from behind your thighs and your ass to hold your hips. You hovered over his face, looking down at him between your legs. You were a bit hesitant to lower yourself down though. "Are you sure-"
You didn't even get to finish your question when you felt Seonghwa pull you down to his mouth. Immediately his tongue went to work against you clit. You moan, one hand bracing yourself against the wall while you bury the fingers of the other in his dark hair. A vibrator certainly worked wonders, but there is something else about his tongue. He moved his up and down against your clit before moving it in circles clockwise.
"Hwa..." You say, almost sounding breathless. He simply hums and continues his ministrations with his tongue. He nuzzles his faces against your cunt and adjust his mouth so he could lap you up. Seonghwa's tongue briefly pushes against your clit and then you feel his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, gently sucking on it. Instinctively you bite your lip to hold back your moan, making him lightly slap your ass, not enough to hurt but to get a point across. He lifts you just enough to free his mouth so he could speak.
"You said your roommate is gone for the night?" He asks and you give him a quick 'yes.' You felt his lips curl into a smile. "Then don't hold back, jagiya. It's just us."
You feel his tongue move against you again in all the right ways, making you moan again. You didn't hold it back this time and you could tell Hwa is pleased with that. He shifted underneath you and he buries his face into your cunt, he continued to gently suck and swirl his tongue around your clit. His ministrations had you squirming, slowly rocking your hips against him, and you were making all sorts of noises. 
"Seonghwa..." You whimper. You speaking his name in such a manner had him groan in pleasure. You feel him shift yet again, his grip on your hips firm. His tongue is off your clit and you feel his tongue swirl around your entrance. He penetrates you and thrusts with his tongue while his nose brushed against your swollen bud. His mouth is working wonders on your and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. Hwa doesn't relent, keeping the pleasure going and keeping you relatively still with his hands holding onto your hips. "Fuck... Hwa I'm-!"
Your walls fluttered around his tongue. You feel your thigh muscles tighten and they press against his head. A loud noise of pleasure leaves your lips as you throw your head back. Hwa squeezes and lightly massages your hips as you climax, his tongue slowly slides out from your hole and gently licks your cunt. He waits a few moments before gently guiding you off his face. You lift a leg and sit next to his head, your back against your headboard. 
Seonghwa quickly got up, licking his lips clean of your juices though his chin and nose still shined with your climax. He sits next to you and his hands caress your legs. He smiles at you, a look of satisfaction on his face, while you came down from your orgasm. 
"You have a little something on your face." You giggle and gesture around your own chin and nose. He chuckles and you watch as he swipes his fingers over his skin and then lick them clean.
"Better?" He whispers with a slight smirk. You can tell he was trying to be sexy but he still had some of your cum on him. You giggle softly making him blush and chuckle.
"Here, hold on for a moment." You get up from the bed and head out of your room to your bathroom. You grabbed a clean wash cloth, dampened it with some water, and returned to your bedroom. You hand Seonghwa the cloth and he gives you an appreciative smile, his cheeks and ears dusted with a subtle pink. You sit back down as he cleans off his face. He sets the cloth on your nightstand and looks back at you.
You watch as Seonghwa gets off the bed. His eyes scan your body with a smirk. Slowly, he took off his shirt and slid off his pants and boxers. Both of you were completely nude and you can see just how turned on he is. Hwa gets back onto your bed and gets right up to you, his face mere inches from yours.
"I love you so much, (Y/N)." He whispers. His hand comes up and gently caresses your jaw and neck.
"I love you too, Seonghwa." You smile at him, your tone soft and full of love. He smiles back and presses his lips against yours. His kiss is tender this time around. His hand cradles the back of your head to keep you in place, but you know you don't want to pull away in this moment. Your fingers graze the skin of his bare chest. You slowly brought them up to his collarbones and then his neck.
"Hmm, I want to take this all the way, jagiya." He pauses for a moment as his eyes look down at your body and then back at your face. He smirks. "I want to hear all those lovely noises you make."
"If I get to ride you, my love." You say in a sensual tone. His smirk crumbles to a flustered look at your suggestion, but he still smiles regardless.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes." You nod and he bites his bottom lip. Seonghwa moves and sits down, his back against the headboard now. You grin, moving to stand on your legs before you throw your leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands are once again on your hips as he pulls your body against his. He has a lustful and excited smile on his face.
"Condoms? I brought some-"
"No, it's fine. I trust you and I'm still taking birth control." You smile.
You reach behind and grab the shaft of Seonghwa's cock. You carefully drag his tip through your wet folds to tease him a little. You line him up to your entrance and look at his face. He gives a small nod for you to continue and you do so. You slowly lower yourself down, languidly taking him inside you. You both let out a soft moans. You sat in his lap, your hands grip his shoulders, while his cock fully inside you and you take a moment to savor the feeling.
"Ah, you feel so good, jagiya." Seonghwa mumbles, his lips barely brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath but you didn't care. His eyes were half-closed as he stared deeply into yours. You can feel his hands caressing your hips, thighs, and ass. His length twitches inside and you can tell he is full of anticipation for you to start moving. Hwa gives you a sweet smile, which contrasts with the current, steamy situation. "Take your time. You have control right now until you want me to take over."
"Thank you, love." You whisper softy and peck his lips. You wait a full two minutes before you started moving. You take a slow and steady pace, your thigh muscles flexing as you raise yourself up and down on his cock. Seonghwa's hands firmly held your hips yet he made no effort to control your movements, he simply assisted you so you wouldn't be doing all the work. 
"This feels nice." Hwa murmurs and leans his head down, his lips pressing against your neck. You feel his teeth graze your skin and he gently nips at your neck.
"Feels s'good." You moan softly. You rock your hips at a pleasurable pace. It is a very sensual moment between you both. It was just you and him, nothing else mattered. He raised his head from your neck and pressed his forehead against yours. He looked at you with pure adoration and love. His hands slide to your lower back and then moved up to your shoulder blades. You feel his arms against your sides as he hugged you close to his chest. You still moved your hips at a slow pace. 
This is a moment of passion and pleasure, but also a moment of love and bliss.
You sunk all the way down on him and gently grind your hips against him, feeling pleasure come from your clit grazing his pubic mound. Seonghwa smiles at you, enjoying how you look getting yourself off on him. He kiss your cheek and his lips linger to you skin for a few moments. You feel his fingertips press into your back and rub small circles on your skin.
You returned to moving yourself up and down on his cock. You increased your speed, sometimes focusing on his tip and then rotating to taking him all the way. Regardless  of what you did, he was moaning and groaning at all your movements. His hands were back on your hips as you leaned away from him with your hands gripping his shoulders. You both wanted to see your faces.
You feel a coil-like sensation in your lower stomach as pleasure builds up again. Your breathing is harsh and deep, and you can feel your legs getting tired... but you wanted to keep going. Seonghwa could see and feel how you your stamina is waning. He smiles sweetly and leans forward to capture your lips in a passionate yet short kiss.
"Relax, jagiya." His voice is smooth and low. He holds your hips and stops your movements. Seonghwa then starts to thrust his hips up at a quick pace. A loud moan escapes your lips as you cling on to him. He leaned forward and nibbles on your neck while you feel one of his hands move from your hip to your pubic mound. Hwa pressed his thumb over your swollen clit and started rubbing circles.
"O-Oh, Hwa..." You whimper out. You feel that heat building up more and more inside you.
"Hng- You're amazing, (Y/N)."He moaned as well, moving his head away from your neck to stare at your face. You can see he was getting close to his own release by the erotic expression on his face. 
"I-I think... I'm going to cum again." You whisper, feeling that all too familiar feeling crawl up your legs. You looked at him with all the love you could muster. The intimacy and intense feelings all added to your impending orgasm. The way the head of his cock hit that sweet spot inside you just right and his thumb swirling and applying the correct amount pressure sent you over the edge. You lean forward with your forehead against his as a loud whine leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around his cock.
"(Y/N)-!" He groaned, still thrusting into your cunt. He stared intensely into your eyes, chasing his own climax. His breathing grows ragged and his thrusts became off rhythm. A moan tumbles from his lips as he sloppily kisses you, thrusting one last time. You feel his cock twitch inside you as his cum coats your walls. He keeps himself fully sheathed inside you as you both catch your breaths.
"Seonghwa..." You murmur, your body slumping against his, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and his hands gently grip the skin of your back. You feel his warm breath fan over the back of your neck as he leveled out his breathing. Seonghwa made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sigh and a moan as he rests his head against yours.
Neither of you said anything further. Seonghwa keeps his arms tight around you while you equally clinged to him. Nothing really needed to be said in this moment, the high emotions you both shared spoke enough.
Minutes passed when you finally speak up.
"We should probably clean up and get you to bed." You whisper to him, pulling your head back to look over this face.
"I want to stay like this, jagiya." He murmurs, placing his lips on your neck. "I feel so close to you like this... "
"I know, love, but we have to be up early." Hwa groaned at this, which makes you laugh.
"Stop being right."
"Come on... let's take a shower, Hwa." He reluctantly helps you off his lap, his softening length now out of you. You both get off from your bed and you lead him out your room to your bathroom. His hands remained on your waist as you both walked and then waited for the shower water to warm up. He didn't want to let go of you just yet.
After the shower and after drying off, you both go back into your room to change into comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down first, slipping under the covers. When you joined him, you laugh when his arms pulled you flush against his body. Seonghwa tucks your head under his chin and he holds you firmly in his arms. You chuckle and hold him just as tightly.
"I don't want to let go of you again... this feels like it's going to be harder than when you when you visited." He says with a sigh.
"I know, Hwa, I know." You mumble, already feel an ache in your chest. "Let's savor the rest of tonight together."
There is a pause.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Seonghwa."
Morning came too fast your liking. You and Seonghwa awoke with your limbs practically tangled. His warmth despite the temperatures warming outside is comforting in the moment. You both reluctantly got dressed and made Hwa a light breakfast.
A little before 7am, Ateez and their manager came back over to pick Seonghwa up and of course came to say goodbye. You got an earful of teasing when they see the blemishes and marks Hwa left on your neck. You hugged each member and of course your hug lingered on Hwa, with you both gently caressing each other's backs for comfort.
Goodbyes were harder this time around, but you still had that ray of optimism due to your move to South Korea. It will be rough, but with Seonghwa, the rest of Ateez, and even their manager, you knew it would be a feat you'll overcome.
Your new horizon awaits you and your life with Seonghwa seems to be on the right track.
------------
Taglist: @stopeatread @hee0soo @tridkeys @pocketjoong-reads @seonghwaddict @lelaleleb @acciocriativity @h-nji
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cerastes · 6 months
Text
Hey. It's been a while. I think it's right to update you on stuff so tl;dr I'm probably not going to be around for some time, and if I am, it'll be in a diminished capacity, but if you're interested, do check under the cut. I'll also immediately state that I am not in any dangerous situation, it's other stuff, but I'll immediately dispel that before the cut just in case you just wanted to know that in particular.
Let's talk for a bit.
Long story short, the economy here is in shambles. The idea was for me to already have a new job, but that's not gone according to plan. I've been eating into my savings for a while now, and the people that told me that I had a job lined up for me September or at the latest October, meaning, this month, have been ghosting me. It seems to not be an option anymore, and no explanation was ever given to me. A shame, because it came from a place of relative trust.
This has eaten away at my nerves somewhat, and though it is the month of my birthday, I can't help but notice that, between the economy being this bad here, how hard it's been to land another job, and the fact that I'm eating into my savings, well, it's got me more than a bit worried. I'm not in any immediate danger of losing the roof over my head, or starving, or anything like that, but after a few months of "well, my savings take yet another hit this month with no end in sight", it's been rather rough, you'll understand, and it's compounded a bit. For just a second, and not as a primary, secondary, or even tertiary plan, more like a twenty-eighth measure if anything, I did entertain the dark idea of maybe asking for a bit of help here, and the moment that thought came up, I realized, "Ok, this is truly and well affecting me, I never want to do that", because, again, it's not like I'm in any immediate danger of homelessness or anything that grave, but it's been weighting on me enough that, even as a distant glint in the horizon of an idea, I did consider it. I don't want to sound like I'm blowing my own horn here, but for over a decade that I've had this blog, and the community/following/whatever you want to call it that has grown around it, I've never once asked for something like monetary help, because I think that can be a slippery slope. I've seen people far bigger than me, and some smaller, too, get addicted to asking for donations or help, or simply start taking it for granted when they ask for such a thing. My friends will tell you I writhe in agony when I receive a gift such as a game or something over the mail. My logic is that I don't need it, not in a proud way, but rather, in a "I wish you would spend this money on yourself instead, or on someone that truly needed it". With this in mind, I realized that, for me to even slightly consider that as an option, for the first time in my life, it meant that it was biting away at me far, far more severely than I thought. It's translated to other parts of my life as of late; I've not been depressed or anything, but I've felt this itch, this remarkably implacable feeling of "my man, you don't deserve to be taking it easy right now, something has to change, progress needs to be made".
I went out to wander for a few days, then arrived at my cousin's farm. He and his wife live a humble, hard working life, he invited me to stay for a while, I accepted, it was real nice, we hanged out, went exploring creeks and mountainsides while knocking back a few beers, the whole shebang for two guys that grew up in the middle of nowhere. Anyhow, it's true that the whole exposition that was the previous paragraph is something at play, but I also just... Haven't really wanted to be online at all. I don't want to check anything, read anything, and I feel a deep sense of alienation that I've not really felt in a long time. I suppose this is one of those good ol' Bro Is Going Through It, if we're to summarize it in a few words. It's easy for me to dispel negative thoughts and bounce back normally, because I've done a great deal of personal building and homework on knowing myself inside out, but not even this black belt in Drimobrain has helped this time around, and well, it bothers me, obviously, bwahaha. It's the first time in a few years that I really sincerely do not understand what's up with me, and while it's not really something I would consider me being rock bottom or anywhere near those depths, I do think I'm still below surface level, which is something I don't admit to easily, but have no choice to. I would love to be able to give this malaise shape and firmness through written or spoken word, but right now, it's a work in progress.
What bothers me the most is the sense of alienation I spoke of before: It makes no sense for me to feel this way, I'm treated with love and kindness every day, no one's silencing me in any way, I don't deal with barbs or hostility. So why is it that that's how I feel? Or perhaps it's something that feels similar, but I've no clue what it is, so I'm compounding it with alienation?
Regardless, it's all compounded into me just... Not wanting to be online. In the words of a friend of mine, "Dreamer has a fetish for self-development and growth", and, well, yeah, she's got that right despite the wording, I like to feel as if I'm improving every day and becoming better every day, even if slightly, and right now I feel like I'm just degenerating. Is it because my mood has been sour overall? Maybe. It might as well just be the fact that I Just Don't Want To Be Online For A While, and capricious clown that I am, if I want to do something, I do it, and if I don't want to do something, I don't do it. I'm tied to nothing and no one except my desire and drive to do or not do things. I can't change that, nor do I want to change that. And in this case, my heart's said to me, "fuck going online, go out, do things, try to get a job".
I also almost got recruited into something fucking vile that I thankfully noticed in time to avoid, but that's a story for another time.
There you have it. Am I leaving the internet/blue website forever? No, of course not, I like it here. Are things hard right now? They are, to be honest. Are they the worst it could be? Not at all. Do I have complete clarity of what's up with this fog inside of my head? No, and that bother me quite a bit. Are things going to be alright? Yeah, I think they will be.
I do regret it's in October of all months that this is going on, because it's where my shitposting power is at its apex due to my birthday, but hey, things happen, not necessarily for a reason, but they can be handled in such a way that it gives them meaning. I'm a fervent believer in that. I'm sorry this isn't the update you may have been hoping for, full of Lucina cosplayer blowjobs and other such hijinks, but hey, they can't all be Rainbow Road, haha.
So in case we don't see each other for a while, I hope you're all doing fine and dandy. I'm alive, I'm trying to be well, and most importantly, most fundamentally, most quintessentially,
I stay silly.
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qu1nn-th3-fr0g · 7 months
Note
Can you please do a Dangangronpa platonic between child reader and the Dangangronpa v1 cast thank you
Ofc! Ty for being my first ask <333 sorry if some of them were a bit short, I ran out of ideas lmfao. I only did the characters that I will write for v1. I'll create a masterlist soon so it's easier to know who you can request!
Danganronpa v1 cast with child!reader
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse in Toko's part, and Byakuya kinda sucks Notes: No pronouns were specifically used, so it is a gender neutral reader :) Also, this is ABSOLUTELY platonic.
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ꕥ Makoto Naegi ꕥ
✎ Totally thinks of you like a little sibling
✎ If this was during the killing games, he would protect you with his life
✎ Would do anything you wanted
✎ Want to draw and color? He has paper and crayons ready. He has everything you would possibly need.
✎ Loves to play games with you
✎ Wouldn't let you play pranks on people though
✎ Otherwise he would totally act like a big brother
"Hey (Y/N)! wanna play a game together? It'll be so fun!"
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'*•.¸♡ Kiyoko Kirigiri ♡¸.•*'
✎ Doesn't really express it, but she loves spending time with you.
✎ Will be hella reserved and to herself, but will try to linger around you to make sure you're safe.
✎ If you ever decided to hang out and talk to her, she'll try her best to engage as well.
✎ Would try and play, but would probably just stay silent most of the time while you directed the whole doll plot-line.
"Hello, (Y/N), would you like to play?"
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˗ˏˋ Byakuya Togami ´ˎ˗
✎ This bitch will act like he doesn't care about you whatsoever.
✎ Would probably not interact with you at all unless you tried to talk to him.
✎ Even then he's intimidating and would ignore you.
✎ He'll make a bunch of rude remarks if you tried to ask him to play with you.
"Out of my way, little kid. I don't have time for childish games."
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﹒⪩ Toko Fukawa ⪨﹒
✎ Oh god.
✎ She absolutely loves you, BUT.
✎ She's terrified of you because of her traumatic childhood.
✎ Toko was scared that maybe you were abused in your household.
✎ Would totally try her best to be there for you, and would be so supportive, but she's terrified of accidentally hurting you.
"O-Oh! (Y/N)! Would you l-like me to read you a story..?"
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𓆩♡𓆪 Celestia Ludenberg 𓆩♡𓆪
✎ Celestia is so kind to you.
✎ She LOVES having tea parties with you
✎ Would totally play dress up with you and dress you up in her style.
✎ Might've taught you how to gamble
✎ Will always make time for you
"Ah, (Y/N), what would you like to do today? I have an idea for n outfit if you'd like to play dress up."
____________________________________________________
I would totally add more characters (Genocide Jack/Jill/Syo, maybe Aoi) but I got tired and I wanna get this out tonight lmfao. Hope you enjoyed!^^
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thelovinghost · 8 months
Note
It is sad that I found this account before your main. ANYWAY!
I don't know your rules so funny little thing.
The yandere host club finding out that Y/N wants kids (gn Y/N) like adopting them or having them
Only if you want.
(Yandere if you can but if you don't want to that's fine to!)
Honestly, quite a few of my secondary blogs have more followers and interactions than my main :( I don't know if people know it's me, but I also have like 50+ different blogs Yet again I didn't include Mori, because I don't like him
Reader Gn, but briefly implied FAB
!!CHARACTERS AGED UP!!
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Tamaki Suoh
He has so much love to give
He's wanted a kid the whole time, so he just needed you to come around
He's ecstatic! Practically jumping off the walls
If you have a child together, it would make it harder for you to leave
Even if you were once unhappy with your relationship, you'll fall for him eventually and this just hits the nail
If you're looking into Adoption, he probably already has all the paperwork and the agency
Though, if you want to conceive a child, he's trying any chance he can get [Sex drive goes up 500% Trying to get his dog wet 24/7]
He has a fear that you might end up like his mother, but luckily there's medicine for it now, thanks to his and Kyoya's dad
He's the best dad 100/10. He wants to be there for every moment of his child's life
He'll lose his mind if he misses something
Say he misses his child walking, he'll cry for like a week straight. You better have gotten it on video
Speaking of video, he records everything they do. He wants to save every moment
He gets more emotional when his child goes to school
He wants to hold onto them forever
He wants so many kids
You have to be a voice of reason
If you happened to have another child, he's not going to be mad
Your child can always look at Tamaki for Emotional comfort. If they have a crush though, they'll come to you.
Before you have the child, he imagines what they'll be like
Man has so many daydreams about your happy, average, family life :)
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Kyoya Ootori
Genuinely could give or take a child
He's not the biggest fan of kids, but it'll be a mini version of you both. Or a mini version of just you
He doesn't want to be like his father, so of course he'll be more present in his child's life
He gets a better control of his emotions
Has their whole life planned out
He even has different plans if something goes wrong. Has every possible situation possible and has connected it all together
Kind of obsessed
Tamaki visits a lot just to see their kid
It annoys Kyoya to no end
Honestly, your child is probably just like Kyoya, much to your annoyance
That's all you need is another Kyoya
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Kaoru Hitachiin
Okay... You want a kid?
He's never really thought about it
But, he's open to it... I mean you used to hate him
He'll spend time with you looking into your options
He's the second best dad, only beat by Tamaki
Your child will probably get Kaoru and Hikaru mixed up, much to Kaoru's disappointment
Called Hikaru dad once and Kaoru was mad at about it all day, while Hikaru teased him about it
Speaking of Hikaru, you're kid loves to annoy and bother his uncle. They'll ask Hikaru a million questions and Hikaru tells you to get your kid
^Kaoru is kind of proud
He'll love his child no matter what happens
He loves taking care of his kid. He has a more 'feminine' roll in the relationship, even if you're a stay at home mom
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Hikaru Hitachiin
As he grows up, he gets more mature, though he has his moments
He doesn't know how to be a parent [But who does]
He's the most stressed about it, because he doesn't know what to do
You'll have to calm him down
Maybe this is a good thing?
He'll make sure his kid doesn't mix him up with his brother
But, you might have twins if you can give birth
^ If so, he'll have a deeper connection with them, because he's a twin
Your kid pranks you both a lot
Smashes food in your face, trip you, switch your bodywashes, tricking you
You're the main target for the pranks, because Hikaru is less likely to fall for it. Man invented twin pranks
There's nothing they can do that he hasn't done
He hadn't wanted a child, but he's so glad you both did
He might even want more kids
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Mitsukuni 'Honey' Haninozuka
Having a kid with him would probably be an accident
Was NOT planned
Kinda funny if your kid is taller than Honey
I... Uh... Don't know what else to write... I'm sorry
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Haruhi Fujioka
If you do have a child together, she'll probably carry the child
Though, she is the most open to adoption
She would love to give a child a home
Either way, she'd love being a mom
Granted, she never really thought about children. It was kind of at the back of her mind
She's more mature than you and takes on most of the responsibility
She doesn't mind, she enjoys it and she wants you to be happy
You're more emotionally connected than her. You sympathize with your kid[s] more
If the kid wants something, they'll ask you, because Haruhi will say no
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deservedfate · 10 months
Text
these silent woods by kimi cunningham grant sentence starters
i told you to stay in the house.
you do not kill something just to kill.
it's a thing i don't like to think about.
i'm a little mad at you.
a poem would be a better way to say goodbye.
this is private property.
this is who you are now.
oh, good. you're awake.
i can't sleep. i just can't. i've been lying there awake, all night.
i know how much they meant to you.
that's just what they say so you can try and live with yourself.
before, i was always afraid.
it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen in my whole life.
guess i don't have much choice in the matter.
i have one of those faces.
i need to know that when i tell you something, i can trust you to listen.
it's just sometimes i wonder what it'd be like. to be out there.
that's the nice thing about books. you can experience all different people and all sorts of places through them.
you and i both know how that'll go.
no deer's gonna come anywhere near us if you don't sit sill.
we'll make some hot chocolate.
i think we might be lost.
i hope you're wrong about that. i really do.
what do you know about raising kids anyway?
sorry about the gun. sorry for scaring you.
you can stay forever if you want.
i should've ended it a long time ago, but i didn't.
we disagreed regarding whether or not that garbage could be considered coffee.
my high school guidance counselor said i was a poor conversationalist.
is someone gonna miss you?
sorry. that was uncalled for.
this world, it'll tear the guts right out of you. as you well know. but this isn't all there is.
i wasn't invited. i didn't want to crash the party.
i don't know why i'm telling you all this. i guess there was no one else to tell.
you probably think i'm pathetic.
it sounds kind of lovely, actually.
i'm scared because you're scard.
i want to keep you safe. that's all.
why would you do that?
we're not going anywhere near that place.
you should be ashamed of yourself.
want me to stay? help you keep watch here?
you could go somewhere. move. start over.
i knew you'd come back.
how'd you know where to find me?
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infinityinakiss · 9 months
Text
avatrice au fic recommendations:
i don't think there is a single avatrice au fic that i haven't read so here are some my favorites. i tried to find ones that weren't as popular, so hopefully there are couple here you haven't read.
I want to believe by puppybusby @yashastrongarms - x files au - basically 23k of avatrice flirting while being incredibly reckless with alien shit. unfortunately, it is only a one shot that doesn't delve into their relationship, but it is so worth it. and the tension. woof.
Truly a Steadfast Love by StoicLastStand - medieval au - they have a whole series of ficlets, but this is one of my favorites. there's a tournament to win ava's hand in marriage, ava goes undercover to fight for her freedom, but she ends up falling for the very knight who everybody wants to win. i also love their lucifer au, Greater Sacrifices.
a lover, or something of mine by Smokestarrules - reincarnation au - each chapter is a different life with a different story, and i promise you, if you have anything that even resembles a heart, you will cry. i keep going back and rereading chapter 4 because apparently i love to hurt myself. i also love the world is just illusion (trying to change you) by them, it's a road trip au.
i should love you (and i swear i do) by Noteveryonefitsintothebadbitchgenre - harry potter au (fuck jk rowling) - its that trope where they're married and they talk about each other constantly but nobody actually knows they're married. their students all think that professor silva and professor young have a friendly rivalry, but there are a couple of moments that don't add up.
purple by sxftmelody - hitman au - technically, but really it's just sad, i always cry at the end. beatrice helps ava run away after a job, and slowly they open themselves up and start to fall in love. tw: major character death. also love turning page by the same author, mercenary/princess au.
in our corner of the world by definitelynotthere - roommate au - i know, i know, there's a thousand roommate aus, why would i recommend a fic that isn't even finished and will probably never get finished? i don't know, i just really love this one, and if you're like me, you'll go "ooh, two cakes" and read it anyway.
The last hero of Ogygia by jessnope - percy jackson au - specifically calypso au, ava is calypso and beatrice is the flirty hunter that washed up on her shore. it's super cute.
stay there, 'cause i'll be coming over (while our blood's still young) by britishngay - spiderman au - ava's character voice is actually designed to be spiderman, and bea is the perfect doctor lady that patches spidey up when she gets hurt. plus beatrice telling lilith to "shut up and sit down" will never not be iconic.
sunday people (sunday shines for you) by gilligankane @piratekane - another roommates au - jealous ava is back again and out for blood, specifically jenn-with-two-ns blood.
this is my prayer (I'm in love with you) by nyxtyka - my best friend's wedding/spies au - i'll be honest, this fic went to my marked for laters to die. i don't know if it'll ever be finished, but it is one of my favorite aus, i promise it'll be worth the pain.
spellbound by onomofication - witch au - beatrice is the witch in the woods that ava goes to to finally find a way to explore the world like she has always wanted to. but as she gets to know the surprisingly kind, serious, kinda-sorta witch, she discovers that maybe the world was smaller than she had once imagined. i also love another fic by this author, hit me with you best shot, which is basically a cupid au, where ava runs around trying to stop jc, a cupid, from shooting the love of her life, beatrice.
the celestial glow is blinding by understreetlights - firewatch au - did i think ava and beatrice sitting around, looking at trees, and falling love with each other through walkie talkies was going to be interesting? no, but the world loves to prove me wrong.
too cold, it's withdrawal by KatieQgle - captain america au - give this one a chance, even if you don't like marvel. beatrice is hot as fuck as bucky and honestly the winter soldier plot line needed a little sapphic yearning. come on, avatrice in the army in the 1940s, being badass and fighting nazis together? who wouldn't love that?
i have a ton more, reach out if you want them!
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love-toxin · 2 years
Text
yandere forgers hcs (Loid/darling/Yor)
rq: "oh my goodness!!!! being inbetween yandere yor and loid 😫!!!! imagine their poor darling just wants to make some money doing babysitting and Anya just gets SOOOO attached… so obviously her mama and papa have to keep them close… for anya’s sake right?? would you be willing to do hc’s for them 👀👀"
"Yes!!! Yandere loid and yor brainrot has been hitting me so hard since I watched it because it's just ugghh<3<3"
warnings: non/dubcon, au pair reader, yandere yor/loid, brainwashing, loid has a filthy mouth, scarring, noncon tattooing, mild gunplay.
☆ hc / ♡ spicy hc / ♂️♀️ gendered hc / ‼️ dark hc
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☆ As an au pair, you'll be tasked with a whole whirlwind of responsibilities. Most of them will revolve around caring for Anya, but that doesn't mean that your attention won't be diverted to other areas of the Forger home as well. This mostly includes doing some cooking, cleaning, and taking care of your own space.
☆ It also means that you'll be living on the premises, so almost all of your day will be spent with Forgers in one way or another--you might be helping Anya with homework, or cooking with Yor, or bringing Loid a cup of coffee while he works at his desk. They'll all get so used to you being around that you'll basically be a part of the family, and it'll feel a lot more sincere since none of them are blood related as it is.
☆ While you're certainly not seen as a child, Yor and Loid will grow to baby you a good bit. They're both fiercely protective of you, but in different ways--Yor is more likely to casually mention "eliminating" someone who stepped on your foot or caused you some kind of other inconvenience. But Loid is much quieter and sneakier about it, he'll investigate any and every tipoff or clue that involves you and someone who might harm you. You might find people around you apologizing more frequently or even disappearing entirely, but at your skill level there's no way you'll be able to trace it back to the man of the Forger family.
☆ With Loid and Yor having separate bedrooms, it works more to your own disadvantage. When one of them wants to sneak out and pull you into their room, they won't have to worry about the other waking up or finding out. They both think that your relationship with them is secret from the other, so it's probably better if you don't go around blabbing about it to either one. And in both cases, it'll probably start with each of them coming on to you and admitting their feelings for you, while also revealing that their marriage isn't exactly the "traditional" type you thought it was.
☆ Kisses are mandatory once your relationship crosses that boundary from professional to romantic. Loid kisses you on his way out the door for work, and Yor saves her kisses for when you're making dinner together or when she can get you alone in her room. They hide them pretty well--except when Anya reads their minds and is scandalized to find out her babysitter is kissing her Mama and Papa. But then again, she's a kid, so she just assumes that it's more of a friendly kiss. Or maybe it's one of those "cultural differences" that Papa sometimes talks about? Maybe you're secretly French!
☆ Yor is always watching you. There isn't a moment in the day that she isn't aware of what you're doing or who you're with, and if it's someone she doesn't approve of, she will have to fight to stay her hand from killing them immediately. She's so protective over you in a way that's quite similar to how Yuri treats her, although she doesn't really make the connection because she's so sure that it's for your benefit.
♡ Loid is probably the last person you want to be home alone with. He'll invite you to sit next to him on the couch and lay a hand on your knee, or help you cook dinner and brush against you at every opportunity. He never imagined he'd find fucking the babysitter so hot, but it is, and if you try to move away you can bet you're gonna be pinned to the sofa and fucked within an inch of your life. Blubber for mercy and call him "Mr. Forger" while he does it and he'll probably leave some possessive handprints on your ass, too.
♡ Yor isn't much better, though. Being home alone with her is more common, and thus she feels there's more she can get away with. She'll make it a habit to touch herself near you when she thinks you won't notice, even though you can hear her little moans or feel how wet her fingers are when she finishes and comes over to touch your face, or even push them inside your mouth to pretend it's just a silly prank. When she gets more bold, though, she'll sit you down on the couch and insist on taking care of you by shoving her face between your legs and putting her mouth to work.
♡ If, somehow, they find out early on that the other has been messing around with you, they thankfully won't get jealous of each other. No, the couple will work together with an idea in mind immediately--Loid and Yor will start having sex when they know you’re around, and when you can hear it. It's rare, but when Anya is off at a friend's house for a sleepover or something of the like, the two will leave Loid's door cracked open and fuck in full view so you can see them. You can try to pretend you don't notice them, but in that case they'll keep going until they're finished before calling you in, and asking you with flushed faces to please clean up the sheets as Loid pulls out and spills cum all over them. If they're feeling generous, they'll leave it at that and revel in your embarrassment as you obey. But if not, Loid will grab you by the hair and shove your face between Yor's legs, and order you to lick up his mess until you're done so he can then get you to lick him clean, too.
♡♀️ Anytime Loid fucks you, he'll ask if you wouldn't mind giving him a baby so his daughter can have a sibling. You can say no every time and he'll just chuckle, without telling you whether or not he's going to try anyways. But say yes, and he'll make a point of inundating you with breeding talk: "Let's make a baby", "You'll look so cute with a baby belly", "Open up more so I can fill up your womb", that kind of stuff.
♡♂️ Yor is a little more shy around you, but she's even more ruthless in bed. Ties your wrists to the headboard and rides you, and begs you not to cum inside but makes no effort to get off when you cry out that you're close. If anything she tries to take you deeper, her knees spread out in the splits so she can swallow you to the base, and you're left to wonder if she's really trying to get you to knock her up.
♡ Yor is also more prone to sneaking into your room while the house is quiet during the night, and cuddling up beside you. She'll usually be wearing some kind of pretty lingerie to try and tempt you into touching her, and on rarer occasions, she'll even be completely naked and will rub herself up against your leg. If you don't stop her, you'll find her humping herself on your thigh or your fingers while she holds you and moans softly into your ear, and her whispering will slowly start to grow more possessive as she gets closer and closer to cumming. And when she's done, she'll get up and stumble back to her room on wobbly legs, unless you pull her back down to cuddle--and in that case, she'll shyly snuggle in closer so she can listen to your heartbeat as she falls asleep.
♡ Loid has an obsession with facefucking you. When the girls are out, he'll sit back in his chair and smoke a cigarette while you're perched between his legs, his belt buckled around your neck so you physically can't move away from him. He'll do work and scribble notes here and there, and every so often he'll loosen the belt so he can grab your hair and fuck your throat like an onahole, sometimes blowing his load into your mouth and sometimes just letting you know who's in charge before he buckles you back again to keep cockwarming him.
♡‼️ If you ever try to get away from them, you won't get very far. Especially if you try to take Anya with you for fear of leaving her to face their wrath alone--Loid will find you, and Yor will punish you. You won't have to fear a beating, but there are worse ways to make you suffer for rejecting the two of them. Yor will sedate you and carve "Forger" into your back so it'll scar permanently, and to be a little sweeter after she's done listening to your screams, she'll tattoo you with her and Loid's names on your inner thighs. Loid might also break your mind by fucking you and forcing you to repeat a myriad of phrases, probably while holding a gun to your head. "I love you", "I'm a Forger", "I'll never leave you", "You're my family", and "I'm sorry" will be common ones for him to brainwash you with, along with a few more indulgent ones like "I belong to you" and "Please make me cum, Mr. Forger".
‼️ Ultimately, if they can brainwash you, they will. The realization that both of them have been involved with you will come in second, because the most important thing is to work together to keep you in their clutches. They want to convince you that you don't need a life outside of them, that other people don't matter, and to just welcome the life that they can so easily provide you with. They at least know that Anya won't always need a caretaker and it terrifies them to think of that, so they'll take whatever extreme precautions are necessary to keep you safe and sound in their care.
☆ So just be their little companion, ok? It's much easier that way, and they really don't want to have to go so far as to eliminate the people in your family or your friends (romantic partners are different though, they'll thoroughly enjoying getting rid of them). They just want you, and that's it. That's not such a bad life, is it?
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dokoni-mo · 1 year
Note
I’ve arrived with more horny william brain rot!
There is little doubt in my mind that our favorite afton to slut up likes to read. He’d probably love to share that with his darling bunny. And you absolutely know that man is making the polaroids he took into bookmarks. He just loves to see his bunny everywhere!
Bunny is in fact a college student, and sometimes certain classes end up requiring/give the option for a field trip. And that trip happens to fall on a weekend. They’re a little bummed, Willy is like actually depressed (lol), so bunny decided to hide a little something for him. As a ✨treat✨
So when afton wakes up Saturday, he reaches over for his book to read a little (because what else is there to do when his little rabbit is gone), and his usually bookmark feels a lot more lumpy than usual. So he opens it and what does he find? Polaroids of his precious, lovely bunny in nothing but his shirt, and a pair of her panties 💜
YEAH i uhhh,,
warnings: age-gap relationship (reader is 20 will is almost 40 yall know the drill), swearing, smoking, drinking, dom/sub undertones, sir kink, not proof read AGAIN IM SRY
"What? What do you mean the whole weekend?"
It had been an especially hard week for the brit at his diner. For one reason or another, it seemed as if nearly every single damn brat in that town just had to have a birthday that week. The diner was booked from start to finish every day of the week. William was frustrated. But every day drew him closer to the weekend. Closer to when he'd be able to see you again. And god did he fucking miss you. He missed his little bunny next to him; kissing them, holding them. Coming up with so many fun activities to show you.
But, it was in the past now. It was Friday. You'd be over tomorrow, and help relieve him of his pent-up stress like the good bunny you were.
Right?
Wrong.
"I knowwww, I'm sorry!" You pleaded with him at the other end of the phone, the older man taking a long, drawn out puff of his cigarette, "I just totally forgot about it until today!"
William sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, leaning against the wall, "And you're certain you have to go, love?"
"Yeah..." you sighed back, "It's required for my major. And I already rescheduled it last month, too. I can't do it again or I fail."
"Bunny, the weekends are our time together. You know this."
"I knoww, and I'm sorry! I'd stay behind if I could but I just can't. I'm sorry, Will. I'll be back for next weekend though!"
William took another puff of his cigarette, "Are you certain you can't come over even for a little? I... I miss you, bunny. It's been a tough week, and... I want you."
You let out a sympathetic hum, "I miss you too. But I have to go. I'm sorry."
"Alright." William sighed, "Fine. But don't expect to get off the hook next time I see you, little one. You need to tell me these things sooner rather than later."
The brit heard you giggle over the phone, "It'll be fine, Will. Surely you can survive two weeks without me."
"Getting smart with me now, hm?"
"No, sir."
William let out a pleased hum, "Good bunny. I'll miss you, okay? Have fun for me, alright? I'll be here waiting for you."
"I will, I will... Hey, before I forget; you remember that book you gave me, right? The old, thick and dusty one?"
"It's not old, love. It's classic."
You giggled again, "Classic, sure. Well, I finished it. I'll leave it in your mailbox before I go. Maybe that'll keep you occupied until I get back."
"Nothing could replace your company, little one. But, thank you. That's very kind."
"It's no problem. I gotta go pack now, Will. I'm sorry again. I'll see you next saturday, okay?"
"...Alright, bunny. Have fun. I love you."
"Love you too."
~~~
It was odd to have an empty house on the weekends. While William was used to Michael being away at his mother's, the house felt more depressing than usual without you in it. Dull. Grey. No life whatsoever.
William didn't drink often, not at all. He never found it to be that classy, and he wasn't about to throw his charm to the wind over alcohol. But god fucking damn it. He missed you so fucking much that Saturday afternoon. His cigarettes weren't having their usual kick to them. He needed something stronger to fill the void where you should be.
Pouring his second glass of whiskey for the evening, he couldn't help but wonder how you were. Your college was taking you an entire state away from him. Those fucking bastards. How dare they drag you so far away from him. What if you got hurt? Or in trouble? And he wasn't there to save his precious bunny? You knew his number, sure, but you were still so fucking far away from him. And a lot can happen so many miles away.
William took a large swig of the alcohol.
Fucking hell. He missed you so damn much.
He knew you didn't mean to tell him about the trip so late. You were a good bunny. Hell, he was the entire reason you didn't go when you were supposed to. He vaguely remembered convincing you to stay in town the first time you told him about it. You had just forgotten this time, surely. He couldn't stay mad at you for that. It was hard for him to stay mad at you in general. You were just too cute.
But William was miserable. He didn't want this shit to happen again. You would need to learn your lesson. And he'd make you learn it next time you were over.
But would he? Thinking of it now, it was hard for him to imagine giving you any sort of punishment. He just wanted you close to him. To pull you in his lap and kiss those sweet lips of yours. Hold you close to him. Lie down on his chest while he read his books before bed.
Oh, yes. That's right. The book he leant you. You said you'd give it back before you left.
Maybe he should take your advice. Use it to get his mind off you.
Finishing up his glass, William finished up his glass before he walked to the front door, opening and shutting it behind him as he made his way to the mailbox. The cool breeze of the sunset blew his neatly-combed hair out of place, washing over his pale skin. Upon opening up his mailbox, sure enough. The book he leant you was in there. But, it was... strange. Looked a lot fatter than normal.
The older man reached in and took the book out, brow furrowing in slight confusion. Leaning against the mailbox to shut it, the brit opened up the pages to see inside.
...
Oh.
William could feel the heat creep down his neck and cheeks.
Oh.
Oh, bunny. Sweet bunny.
Strewn about the pages was a handful of polaroid pictures. Pictures of you. In so many different positions... so many. He could see the plushness of your thighs. Your sweet little smile. Those big, gorgeous doe eyes. Your cute little pair of underwear...
You even still had some of the marks he'd given you last time you were over. And was that his dress shirt? It certainly was. How long have you had that, little one? Why, sir barely noticed that it was gone. Stealing his things now, are we? Naughty bunny.
You've been so bad recently, haven't you? William didn't much appreciate that. You had earned yourself a punishment, bunny. You probably know that just as sir does though, don't you? Was this your attempt at getting out of it?
William calmly shut the book, but quickly walked back into his house.
It worked, bunny.
For now.
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hesitant-angel · 2 months
Note
imagine being highschool sweethearts with mikey ☹️
being highschool sweethearts with mikey ! | mikey way x reader | gender neutral reader | (headcannons) |
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★ I LOVE THE MIKEY REQUEST!! this is the sweetest thing im so glad u sent this anon because i literally think about this every single day. hes the loml trust me ! im unsure of how accurate this will but bare with me im learning! P.S. THANK YOU ALL FOR 20 FOLLOWERS!!!! i had so much fun writing this, as of right now i'd say mikey is my favorite to write for.
my masterlist
— Okay I have so much on my mind for this I don't even know where to start. I think of Mikey to be a quiet kid in highschool, not in a stereotypical way, but I feel like he'd focus more on getting through the day and getting his work done, focusing less on the social aspect.
— If you're also a quiet kid, you two would sit together any chance you get, you'd distance yourselves away from everyone else a bit to get lost in your own conversations about whatever you guys like to talk about.
— If you're more social, he'd probably follow you to whatever you're doing. He'd stay relatively quiet in most conversations, just listening, unless you prompted him to talk or introduced him to someone, then he'd do the polite thing and say hello and talk to them.
— People write Mikey as overally shy and nervous alot (like.. in the babying grown men way.) but I dont think he'd actually be that bad. I feel like he just takes a bit of time to adjust to talking to people and can be a little awkward at first. Once he warms up to you he's pretty laid-back and will talk with you about anything and everything you want.
— He'd claim that he 'isn't really interested in dating anyone' because he knew the whole thing about how highschool relationships typically never last, so he just tried to avoid it. That was until he met you of course.
— When he met you, his whole perspective on highschool and life in general changed. The more you two got to know eachother the more he fell head-over-heels in love with you.
— He'd definitely help you with homework if needed (and if he understood the class enough...)
— You guys would try and hang out after school to work on homework together but it just ends up being a two-hour period of you guys going on and on about the most random things before realizing that you haven't even started the homework. He'd eventually figure out a way for you guys to get work done but still get time to talk to each other.
— But it's not like you guys don't spend every minute you can together, people swear they can't see one of you without seeing the other. Of course, whenever one of you needs time alone its respected and you take breaks from eachother whenever necessary.
— You two compare music tastes and talk about music alot. Doesn't matter if you have different music taste than him, he wants to talk about it with you (even if he'll tease you a little about liking different stuff). If you have similar taste though, it'll definitely bring you closer.
— Movie nights are a big thing for him, he usually likes to pick the movie but he'll try and watch whatever you want, too. He'll explain parts of the movie to you if he can, he's a movie nerd and will tell you facts you had never heard of.
— If you're within walking distance from eachother (or one / both of you can drive) you two will come over and stop by whenever you can, even if it's just for a moment to say hi.
— You and Mikey meeting in highschool definitely made a big positive impact on your relationship in the future, you've changed eachother in small and big ways over the course of time and both of you agree that you're glad you met when you did.
* i tried my best with this i hope its okay! i really enjoyed writing these even if i was a bit repetitive and not proofread (im sleep deprived atm) , if anyone has any more ideas branching off of this plot please let me know! id love to make this an ongoing thing :)
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fizzyswirl · 9 days
Text
honestly this whole admin situation is getting out of hand. Like specifically the qsmp fandom has become one of the most toxic groups I've ever seen. Like I understand the anger and frustration. I understand we want answers we want things to go how we want them to. But at the end of the day the admin situation is something that unfortunately can't be instantly resolved. Work issues like this will take a while to resolve. Especially of the union is involved.
I honestly dislike being apart of fandoms because of toxic people, like I want to enjoy stuff without being in the fandoms because all I see is negative things and hate. Sure what I'm seeing is understandable that we all are upset. But even when I block hashtags that have these topics I still have only seen mostly stuff about the admin issue and I am curious to where I wanna know what's going on. I should just leave because I feel this fandom is going to be too toxic.
I want to love it as it updates me on things like what's going on on the streams and has the best pictures that people take and the fanart/animations are amazing!
But it's just not healthy for me to be in the fandoms and I should fully leave the qsmp fandom, I again still gonna enjoy qsmp as long as it excists as it's the only server all these cc's mainly interact on and I love the bond that have been made because of the server, but I'm forcing myself to never cone back because I dont think this fandom will ever improve as harsh as I may be sounding.
To those who are in a similar feeling as I am, if u need to leave u should if this all is hurting u. Take time away if u wanna come back and if even getting into the content is not helping u take time to find other content to enjoy, we all need to handel this whole situation in a healthy way because being upset is understandable but at the end of the day we can't really do a lot and harrassing people won't help at all even if we want to see action being done fully, we don't know what's going on behind the scenes and so those who are staying.
Please think before u speak, please be kind to one another, and to those who makes art and shares pictures of moments, please continue, u all make my day when I see some positivity on the qsmp hashtag, i may never come back (depending on what's happening after a while) but there are others who may be staying and/or taking a break and need some nice things to look at.
Sorry if this sounds like I'm angry at anyone, I'm just tired of this all as much as u all are probability and I just want u all to remember that even tho action needs to be made and for us to know some info.
This isn't a easy issue to resolve as it has layers and the union being involved will be resolving it take more time and there may be legal reasons to not share what's happening. We don't know the full story and what's happening behind the scenes.
So if u need to relax I reccomend doing anything else until we know what's going on. We'll eventually get answers it'll just take longer than we think.
But if this is my last goodbye, I wish everyone luck and I'm sorry that this all is upsetting u, I am feeling as upset and stressed as u all may be feeling. Take care of yourself and know that things may seem like life will never get better but it will. It just will take time. Don't worry about what may not occur but just focus on the present as we can't predict things.
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Here's a picture of my most fave egg, Richas to make u all smile even just a little bit.
But take car everyone and thank u for the positive community we all tried to make :)
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blacktofade · 6 months
Note
Seems like you like gemtho, I just wanna tell you that they bickers a lot on the decked out lobby (etho teases gem about her bad rng of keys and etho immediately gets the taste of his own mockery), etho saying gem is great and more that I don't remember. They're so silly
I ADORE gemtho!!! I've been having the time of my life watching all the DO streams seeing them interact! Etho gets so giggly and it's adorable! Also sorry this took me a little while to answer. I wrote a nasty little ficlet for the girlies (gn) based on the stream moment where Gem keeps hitting Etho and they're running around together.
---
Gem’s still laughing, hand outstretched to try to hit Etho again when he grabs her by the elbow and pulls her into his Decked Out room.
There’s a pinching at her shoulders when she’s shoved against the shrubbery near the doorway, but it’s muted by the surprise that hits as Etho slips his mask down just enough to lean in and kiss her.
He’s smiling against her mouth, hands tight on her upper arms, holding her steady for the brief moment where she can’t even remember her own name. And then in a rush, she realizes what’s happening and how much she wants it, and she brings her hands up to clutch at his face in case he dares to think about pulling back.
He’s more insistent than she expects as he nudges her backward, harder into the shrubs, his hands dropping from her arms to tug at her skirt, rucking it up with an unbridled eagerness.
She feels changed knowing what it’s like to have Etho slide his palms up her bare thighs while pushing soft noises into her mouth.
He’s so desperate and it makes her feel powerful.
“I need you to stay quiet,” he pulls back to whisper, eyes bright, almost feverish, and it must be contagious because Gem feels it in her chest, burning bright.
His fingertips slip into the elastic waistband of her underwear, pulling with the kind of intent that has her glancing over her shoulder. If anyone comes close, they’ll be spotted, but being in Etho’s corner keeps them from the majority of prying eyes. No one probably even knows they’re back there, though she can still hear voices, laughter, coming from near the dungeon entrance.
“Etho,” she exhales as he sinks to his knees, dragging her underwear down with him, and he taps at one of her boots and then the other to make her step out of them.
“Quiet,” he reminds her, and then hooks one of her legs over his shoulder and eases himself beneath her skirt.
It’s probably worse that she can’t see his face and doesn’t know what to expect, because her whole body jolts at the first exploratory press of his fingers against her pussy.
She reaches down, grabbing at his shoulder as he holds her open with two fingers and rubs his thumb across her clit.
“Etho,” she gasps as loudly as she dares. “You —“
She doesn’t get to finish the thought because then Etho’s mouth is on her, hungry and unrelenting, and she stares at the ceiling, face so hot she wonders if she’ll survive long enough to come.
He eats her out as though he’s been thinking about doing it for weeks, as though he’s been waiting for her to step away from the crowd so he can get her like this.
His tongue is devastating, as quick as it always is when he speaks, and he shoves his face forward, as though trying to get as close as possible, to be able to lick into her.
She feels insane from it, still reeling from the fact that Etho wants her like this, that he's maybe thought about things like this while they've spent long, exhausting days together, taking turns in the dungeon.
Etho always emerges from his runs with a frenzied look in his eyes, especially when he's successful,  when he escapes with new treasures to show off. And sometimes he'll still be breathing hard when he looks at Gem and accepts her congratulations, and it'll send a shiver of something down her spine.
She rolls her hips, just thinking about it, and she can't stand that he's hidden.
She pulls her skirt up, needing to see, and it’s easy to curl her fingers into his hair and tug, getting him to pull back, the lower half of his face wet — from her, she realizes — as he stares upwards with hooded eyes.
He looks blissed out, like this is all he’s ever wanted to do, and she lets go of his hair to card her fingers through it instead.
“You were made for this,” she whispers to him, and he nods as though she’s asked a question.
She slides her hand to the back of his head and pulls him forward again, using her other hand to spread herself for him.
The noise he lets out buzzes against her clit, and she bites her lip to keep from groaning, part of her wishing they were elsewhere, somewhere more private, so they could listen to each other.
She wants to hear him moan.
His hand shifts on her thigh, two fingers nudging at where she's so wet and easy, slipping inside with barely any effort and giving her something to squeeze around. And she does — around his knuckles, enjoying the way he fills her, wishing it was his cock instead.
She can't stare down at Etho for long, it's too much to bear, with his mussed hair, the way he's flushed up with his enjoyment. But he holds her gaze when she does, jaw working as he takes her apart, and she moves her hand away from herself to trail one fingertip across the bridge of his nose.
There's a bump there, maybe from where he's broken it a few times over the years, the cartilage not setting right. She's never seen it before, always covered by his mask, but she thinks it suits him.
He moves his head, dropping down until his nose is pressed against her, that beautiful bump brushing her clit like he knows, always too observant to not drive her insane.
"Etho," she whines as he gets his tongue back on her, and she can feel his smile against her pussy now, and she's spiraling.
He pumps his fingers slowly into her and never once looks away as she clutches at his shoulder and shakes apart under his mouth, coming so hard she's almost afraid her knees will give out.
And even then he doesn't stop, not until she pushes at his forehead, spent and bordering on overstimulated, needing him to ease up.
He turns his head, stubble rasping against her skin, and trails kisses along the inside of her thigh until he eventually reaches her knee. Carefully, he guides her leg back to the floor, smoothing down her skirt, and Gem’s whole body trembles.
Wiping his face with one hand, Etho grins up at her, and he looks so pleased with himself that it makes Gem want to ruin him.
She pulls at his jacket, dragging him to his feet, his breath ghosting over her as he laughs before she silences him with a kiss. He tastes like her,  but also him, and Gem can't get enough.
She slips a hand between them, rubbing the front of Etho’s pants, where he's hard and probably aching, and all she can think about is dropping to her knees to return the favor.
But before she can, Etho reaches down, grabbing her wrist and holding her steady.
She looks at him questioningly, raising both eyebrows, and he smiles again.
“You can help after my next run,” he tells her and Gem’s mouth opens, unable to stop the laugh from bubbling out.
“Etho,” she says, and Etho cups her face with his palm before leaning in to kiss her again. It’s surprisingly sweet this time, and he laughs against her mouth once more before he pulls away, nudging his mask back into place.
Somehow, he looks the same as always. His hair is a little flyaway, but she doubts anyone would suspect a thing.
He adjusts himself in his pants and she can’t help but shake her head in disbelief.
“Are you going to wish me luck?” he asks her, stepping back toward the box where he keeps his shards.
“No, because you’re the worst,” she lies, stooping down to grab her underwear from the floor. “How about you have these as a token instead?”
She moves closer, slipping the cotton briefs into Etho’s pocket, grinning at him because two can play that game. Etho’s eyes shine like he knows he’s made the right choice.
“Have fun,” she says. “You know where to find me when you’re done.”
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suckerforcate · 1 year
Note
Can I request a drunk reader on New Year and getting all flirty and dancing around with Larissa <3
That’s me now
Dance Floor
Pairing: Larissa Weems x Reader
Word Count: 706
Warning: alcohol
A/n: So I pushed this a little forward to not post this days after New Year, hope you like it!
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It wasn't long until the clock would strike twelve o'clock and the year would be over. Honestly this had been the best year of your life. You had started to work your dream job, found your passion in helping the kids, found amazing friends and fell in love. That last bit did cause a few problems, as it was your boss, but you felt that she might like you too.
You had never talked about the matter, but there was some kind of unresolved tension between you. A good sort of tension. Larissa was flirting constantly, and you showered her with presents. You knew her favourite flowers and always brought her new ones. If you happened to go to Jericho, you always brought her coffee order. That was just the difference between you, she was flirty and open, you were shy and sweet.
But that was the rule for sober (Y/n). Drunken you was a whole different story. You could get unusually bold. Very bold.
-----------------------
It was New Year's Eve and Larissa had organised a staff party for everyone who was still in Nevermore. Some of your colleague had gone home over the holiday, but most stayed. The evening had been an absolute delight. The food was amazing. Your friend and colleague Aden put on the music, and he hit exactly your taste in music. And the alcohol was exquisite, maybe you did have a little too much of that. But who cares? It's a party.
You were enjoying yourselves, dancing and laughing together. But as you spun, your eyes landed on Larissa. She stood at the side of the dance floor observing the rest. You knew she probably chose to not dance, but it stung your heart as it felt like she was being left out. That needed change, fast.
You boldly approached her and, taking her hand, pulled her with you onto the dance floor. That worked surprisingly easy, but that was probably just because she hadn't expected you to drag her. Normally she was much stronger than you.
"(Y/n), can I ask, what do you think you are doing?" She raised an eyebrow at you, standing in the middle of the floor, making no effort to dance.
"You looked so alone. You should be integrated! Also, I really want to dance with you." You smirked at her and laid your hand on her waist. For a second she stiffened but as you started moving to the music she slowly relaxed and even started moving too.
"Move your hips, come on. It'll look bomb." You gently forced her hips to swing some more with your hands. And to your surprise she obeyed. It did indeed look bomb.
Larissa pulled you closer, your bodies pressed against one another and leaned down a little. Her mouth right next to your ear, she whispered: "Do you like that, Darling. Seeing me swing my hips for you?" She put on a flirtatious, even seductive tone. It made your knees weak and for a moment you felt like you would cave in, but Larissa's arms held you. She let out a deep, breathy laugh at that. God, everything about her was just so hot.
You tuned around, leaning your back against her and pulling her hands up to your front. You perfectly bend into the curve of her body, pushing your ass into her, while still swaying your hips. You heard a low moan right next to your ear, that made you smirk. Her hands wandered up a little until they stopped right on top your breasts. Her hands were covered by the hem of your jacket, so she got even bolder and started kneading them lightly. You let your head fall onto her chest. This must be what heaven feels like, you thought.
You stayed like this, dancing together, fully intertwined with one another until you heard the others around you counting down from ten. The New Year's Countdown.
Larissa turned you to look at her and bend down to nibble on your ear.
"Would you like to be my New Year's kiss?" She pulled back a little as to see your face and right as the countdown went to zero you crashed your lips onto hers.
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bloodpen-to-paper · 3 months
Text
Heya, I don't plan to talk about it much but due to what happened with forever, who was my fav and really the heart of the project for me, I'm probably not going to post about Qsmp much anymore. Or if I do, it'll take a while. But please read if you're in the same boat as me, its kind of a ramble and you can skip certain parts but I'd like to hear your thoughts. The last couple of paragraphs touch on some stuff that I hope can help be worth your while, whether you're here for the Qsmp stuff or the mental health part.
Now this is absolutely not to say the rest of the project doesn't matter or that people should give up on it. The Qsmp is incredible and should be known for what it has achieved: breaking language barriers and uniting communities. Its wonderful, unique, and still has so much to offer in terms of content creation, so please don't let the whole of it be tarnished for what happened with one creator (we've seen that before already and it sucks). Personally, it got me back into streaming content/mcyt and I'd like to stay more present this time, its so much fun and its nice knowing I can sort of drift back and forth when new things pop up. If you're in the same boat, I encourage you to not feel like its all over immediately if you still feel a passion for this kind of work, maybe you won't get back into it but maybe you just need a bit of time. Whatever you feel, as long as you're happy and having fun you're doing it right.
So, personal feelings (which I suck at but its better than bottling my thoughts and I encourage others to do the same). I'm fucking devastated lmao. His character was my absolute hyperfixation, I'm talking 24/7 brainrot for months. I haven't felt this passionate for a character since dsmp, I honestly didn't know I could still do it. But there's another layer. I live in the U.S., and I'm Brasilian-American. In the U.S., you don't hear anyone saying shit about Brasil. You hear a lot about Mexico, but nothing really south of that, and if you do its usually about sexualizing Brasilian women or narcotics and gang stuff. Not the best representation for little me, admittedly. When you-know-who won the Qsmp Election, y'all I felt something in me spark to life that I hadn't felt since we won the Olympic soccer tournament in Rio in 2016. I'm proud to be Brasilian, I've always been proud of it, but its a pride that's been limited to sports and my own personal experiences. To see myself represented, to see Brasil naturally enter the conversation for a piece of media I loved that I didn't know would have us, and to see us win something, phew, shit got me higher than my wisdom tooth removal. We Brasilians banded together to secure the win, and what's more, my fav cc on the project was the one at the center. I felt so happy, for my country, my community, and for myself. And I know recent events might taint that memory for some of us, but I refuse to look back on my feelings from back then negatively. That was one of the best damn moments in my chronically online life, and I will always remember it with pride and joy, along with the many other moments when this wonderful server made me proud to be me.
So, naturally, when the news hit I was pretty fucked up over it. Still am tbh, but better now that I've had sleep (though it took me a while to fall asleep because of course my sleep gets ruined by bad feelings, bleh). All this to ultimately say it sucks. Like, it really fucking sucks. The anxiety, the disappointment, the sadness, and the uncertainty of "what now?". Might be sounding dramatic but again, 24/7 brainrot/serotonin supply for months that connected me to my culture abruptly cut off because of pedophile allegations. C'mon Satan, I already have to go to therapy, you didn't have to kick this horse while it was down. Joking aside, if you feel as absolute dogshit as I do and have that kind of anxiety where the world feels like its about to end because moments like these leave you with the rug pulled out from under you and the uncertainty leaves you not knowing what to do with your life after this... well, welcome to the boat, bathroom's on the lower deck and snacks are in the lobby. And also I'm here, and everyone else who's been left in the same crummy place emotionally. We're here together, and I hope that can help you, cause I know for me the worst part is feeling alone in it all, but I'm not, and neither are you. We're here, holding hands and cursing existence for putting us here and making us so sensitive and giving us something great only for it to end up hurting us. We're here, and if you wanna say anything, my DMs, comments, asks, whatever you'd want to talk through, are all open.
Now comes the hardest part: acknowledgement and playing the waiting game. Like I said, if you're feeling like me, this kind of anxiety and disappointment has you feeling like its all over. So now's when you gotta remind yourself that the only thing that's over is this moment in your life when you enjoyed a Thing. That Thing can have meant a lot to you, it could have gotten you out of really dark places, and it could be something you'll still think about down the line. It can be something like minecraft cube people that you (I) got way too emotionally attached to. And for whatever reason, that Thing could have meant the absolute world, whether other people would've understood it or not. Its not your fault it ended the way it did, life just does that sometimes, as unsatisfying of an answer as that is. But its true, and its an important lesson. The Thing is over.
You know what's not over though? You. You're life. Whatever the hell you are doing and will do in the future. If this was the best thing in your life you had going for you, I am so fucking sorry. You deserved to be happy with it, we both did. But I promise you, this Thing is a moment in your story, not the whole story. This really was the source of my joy for the past few months, and if its the same for you, I see you. We can feel like shit together, along with the rest of this wonderful community who understand it too. And you know what else we're gonna do? Live, and move on. Not now, maybe not for while, but we're human beings, we persist (sometimes that might look like you're dragging your battered self out of a trench smelling like depression and expired cheese, but you'll get out of the trench, we both will). There's too much to life for this to be what stops you from finding the rest, whether that's some dramatic life change that completely changes the world as you know it for the better... or just figuring out what comes next. Taking a shower, watching that movie you were waiting for the right moment to watch (I'd say this qualifies), setting up a therapy appointment maybe. Whatever you do to feel like a person again, you have that to do, and later down the road you'll have new Things that give it all meaning. So keep yourself going, hit up me or others who would get it, and do what you gotta do to let it pass. Because it will pass.
Deep breaths friend, I'll be cheering for you when it does
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silverynight · 1 year
Text
The bride
The barbarians have come to the village so their King can choose someone to get married to, or at least that's what everyone's talking about those days. Izuku is not sure what to think of it, he knows it's important for his village to form an alliance with them because they have protected them countless of times, but he truly hopes both the King and his future bride are happy with the decision.
He doesn't have the time to see what's going to happen though because he needs to start traveling again; he's gathered so much information on his notebook about magical creatures (especially dragons) although it is not enough in Izuku's opinion.
However, his attention is drawn towards one of the barbarians; it's a tall and well built blond boy with a constant scowl on his face whose back is completely inked. He has a huge dragon painted on his back. Izuku has heard the ink stays permanently on the barbarians bodies so it's very fortunate that the person who inked him was very talented.
The ink is completely dark and yet Izuku recognizes the type of dragon immediately.
He gets excited and forgets is not safe to approach a grumpy stranger with many weapons on him like they have known each other their whole lives.
"Is that a red dragon, right?" Izuku can't stop himself at that point. "I can tell by looking at the shape of his wings!"
"Hah?" The initial irritation disappears from the barbarian's face as soon as he turns around to look at Izuku. "How do you know?"
"I've seen them!" Izuku beams. "Never too close, but at least enough to draw a couple on my journal... They're very powerful, one of the most powerful dragon species... Oh, I'm sorry, sometimes I can't stop myself from rambling..."
"It's alright," the barbarian smirks, grabbing his face with one hand, squeezing his cheeks. "I suppose it's normal for a nerd like you. What's your name?"
"Midoriya Izuku," he says, finally stepping back.
"Deku?"
"No, Izuku! Besides, we just met, you have to call me Midoriya!"
"I'll call you however I want, Deku!" The barbarian doesn't look irritated though, he almost seems amused.
"What's your name?"
"Katsuki."
"That's your given name, what about your family name?" Izuku asks, rolling his eyes as he notices the huge grin on Katsuki's face.
"I won't tell you."
"Then how am I supposed to call you?"
"Katsuki," he says like it's obvious, then he leans closer to Izuku only to cup his face with both hands again.
It seems barbarians know nothing about personal space.
"I can't, we just met!"
"I don't care!"
"Then I'll have to call you Kacchan," Izuku says, trying not to chuckle as Katsuki narrows his eyes at him. "It's only fair since you call me Deku!"
"Tch! Fine!" Katsuki huffs, surprising Izuku by agreeing way too fast...
"Are you one of the King's guards?"
For a moment it seems he offended Katsuki somehow, but his expression changes quickly and the blond nods.
"Yes, that's exactly what I am... A guard."
"That's amazing! So you'll probably be with him when he chooses his bride!"
"Exactly," Katsuki grins, pinching one of Izuku's cheeks, making the green haired boy pout. "I know I'm supposed... I mean he has to choose someone from all the people they'll present to him, but actually anyone from the village will do."
"I just hope they both agree to this," Izuku comments, a little bit worried as he rubs his cheek.
"So... You like to travel, right, Izuku?"
"Yes!" The green haired boy nods enthusiastically. "The world has a lot of interesting things I can't wait to see!"
"We barbarians travel a lot too, you know? You can come with me if you want..."
"Really?" Izuku grins. It'll be interesting traveling with them, at least for a while. "Yes, thank you! I'd love to!"
"Great!" Katsuki smiles from ear to ear like it's the best day of his of his life. "Now come with me to the selection."
Izuku doesn't have much of a choice actually, since the barbarian has grabbed one of his hands and is using it to pull him next to him.
They get to the heart of the village where the curious people have gathered around a line of boys and girls with the most expensive and beautiful clothes he's ever seen. Izuku knows the elders would never present someone like him as potential bride for a King. At least he feels relieved when he realizes everyone in line looks very excited about the whole thing.
They're standing in front of a strong barbarian woman who actually looks a lot like Katsuki. They call her Queen mother... She must be Bakugo Mitsuki... But it doesn't make any–
"Old hag!" Katsuki says, prompting Izuku to look in shock at the rude way he speaks to the Queen... Why is he doing that? "There's no need for this, I've already chosen someone!"
"I can see that, brat," she smirks, eyes finally meeting Izuku's. "He's too pretty for you though..."
Oh, no. Katsuki is not... He can't be–
"But my King," one of the villagers protests. It seems one of his daughters is in line. "Midoriya is a nobody..."
Katsuki growls, startling the man.
"Don't you dare say that about my future bride again!"
The people in line sigh in disappointment before quietly leaving the place, the man shivers, but nods before bowing in front of Katsuki, Izuku and the Queen.
The green haired boy is too confused and shocked to react. He's not... The crowned King cannot be Katsuki and he didn't just call him his future bride.
That didn't happen.
"Are you the King?"
"Of course, Deku!" Katsuki turns around with a grin on his face, he leans closer to nuzzle against the shocked boy's cheek. "And you'll be Queen consort soon."
"But..."
"Don't worry, cutie, I'll teach you everything you need to know first," Bakugo Mitsuki assures him. "There'll be plenty of time for that since my son has to win your heart first."
"I never lose anything, Deku," Katsuki grins with confidence before pulling the flustered boy against his bare chest.
"Please do ignore my son," she says, ruffling Izuku's hair affectionately, prompting Katsuki to growl at her. "You can say no at the end of the courtship, but at least give him a chance."
"O-Okay," he stammers, still having no idea what he got himself into this time. Although he can't say he's not attracted to Katsuki already.
"Great!" The blond smiles triumphantly scooping him up before walking towards one of the red tents in the middle of the village. "We have a lot to talk about, Deku!"
"Oi, brat! He won't be sleeping in your tent! So don't get any ideas! You haven't even given him his first courting gift yet!"
Katsuki purposely ignores her, although he puts one of his own necklaces around Izuku's neck once they're alone.
"Are you sure about this, Kacchan?"
"Of course I am," the barbarian says, almost outraged at the question. "I'll win your heart, Deku! You'll be mine!"
Izuku's face turns bright red and he wonders what kind of trouble he's in right before Katsuki pulls him closer and kisses him on the lips until all his worries disappear.
He can definitely get used to that.
***
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