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veltana · 6 months

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No one as sweet as you - Mafia!Stucky/Reader

✦ Pairing: Stucky/Reader ✦ Word count: ~9,4k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings: Mafia AU, best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, protective!stucky, TW: reader is verbally and physically abused by john walker, idiots in love, sharing a bed, poly relationship, piv sex, dirty talk, cunnilingus, praise kink, pet names (Sweets), unprotected sex, creampie. ✦ Summary: When you’re hurt by your boyfriend you go to the two people you can depend on for anything, Steve and Bucky, your best friends. ✦ Note: This is a fic that was previously posted on AO3, at the beginning of the year. But since I'm stuck in writer's block right now I thought I would post this in case you haven't read it. It's one of my favorites. There are some short prequel fics to this also posted on AO3, about when they were living together in college. I'll post those too in the following weeks.

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

The bouncer gives you one glance before he opens the door for you and the line of people you pass shout angrily but you don’t even spare them a glance, your thoughts elsewhere. The music in the club usually invigorates you but tonight it passes through without leaving a trace.

Making your way to Monica at the bar, the people you pass shoot you weird glances and you know you must look a mess. When she sees you she comes right over, the music is too loud to talk so you share a squeeze of the forearm in place of a hug before she pours you your favorite wine, with a pitying smile at your smeared mascara. You throw a kiss at her before making your way to the back and once again the big man at the door opens it for you after a quick look.

The music is muted as you make your way to the stairs at the back that take you up to their private room. When your heels land at the top and you meet Bucky's eyes he lifts the girl currently on his lap off and declares "Everyone out."

Steve shoots him an irritated look before his eyes follow Bucky's and sees you. You stand perfectly still while the women and men who were enjoying a private party with two of the biggest mobsters in New York mill past you down the stairs, some even shoot you dirty looks.

When the last person has passed, you take a step towards them, but before you're two steps in, Bucky has taken the glass from your hand and Steve has lifted you into his arms. You cling to him, hands grasping his shirts, and finally, you know you’re safe.

Steve sits down with you in his lap, cradling your head to lean it against him, the other arm holding you tight at your waist. Bucky's palms are gentle when he rubs your back soothingly. None of them say anything at first but the tears running down your face speak for themselves. You made it all the way without breaking down but with them, you can be vulnerable. For the last seven years, they’ve been the rock, the shelter, and your haven.

"Talk to us, Sweets," Bucky's voice is only that soft with you, maybe sometimes with Steve too, “What’s going on?” You try to take a deep breath, but it just stutters. After a few more tries it’s better but you’re not sure where to begin. They give you time, and don't press you on information, like they otherwise do in their line of work.

Finally, you release Steve's shirt and instead, you find the hand he has wrapped around your waist, twisting the rings on his fingers as you try to speak. You don't want to look at them, the shame and the anxiety is running high in your body but you want to tell them, you just have to find the right words.

"You know the guy I've been seeing," you start and feel Steve's arms tighten around you. Before you can say more Bucky mutters "I'm gonna kill him." Steve is calmer and asks, "What about John, Sweets?" He speaks into your hair, his voice is gentle but it has a hard edge. "He's been so sweet since we started going out, but he's been having a rough time at work lately," you squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to remember, your heart beating like crazy. The memories bring forth the panic and the fear again and your breath gets shallow.

"It's alright Sweets, you're here with us, nothing can hurt you," Bucky's low voice is comforting, together with their touch, and you know he’s telling you the truth. It’s the reason you came here instead of going home.

You take a few more breaths and continue "So I thought I'd do something nice for him. We had a spa day and while he soaked in the tub I made dinner and dressed up for him." Frowning hard, your fingers spin the rings on Steve's hand faster and faster the more your anxiety builds, knowing what’s coming.

"And everything was great until I poured the wine and spilled some on the tablecloth." Your mouth opens and closes a few times and the tears start to fall again but Bucky is there with his thumbs, cradling your face and brushing them away, while Steve rocks you gently in his embrace.

"He was furious," you cry. "Said I ruined everything! He threw the wine in my face, then the bottle across the room. He tried to grab me but I ran out of there." There is a long silence when you finish, it’s just your sobs and the music from the other side of the wall. Then Steve says "I'm gonna fucking kill him," his voice laced with rage, and he hugs you even closer.

"I took a cab here, I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t wanna go home." With the last words out you feel a small relief. You’ve told them. You’ve told someone. The scene still plays in your head, seeing John's eyes turn black with rage when the drops of rosé landed on the white linen, feeling the fear when he started screaming.

"Thank you for telling us, Sweets. You’re an incredible person," Steve says and moves you out of his lap and over to Bucky's. They treat you with the utmost care, moving slowly, giving you time to protest if you want, or detangle yourself if that's what you desire. But you let them manipulate your body how they like because sometimes they know what you need more than you do.

"You did nothing wrong," he goes on to say, holding onto your hands, letting his thumbs caress the skin. "John is an absolute fucking asshole and no one should be treated like that.” You meet his green-blue eyes that are only soft for you, and Bucky. Right now, Steve isn’t the feared mobster that people avert their eyes from when he enters a room, scared they’re going to end up in a ditch because they looked at him wrong. No, this Steve is your best friend.

"I don't want to be scared, and I don't want to go home in case he comes there," you confess. "You'll stay with us," Bucky decides, voice finite. "Let’s go home so you can take a shower and change clothes." You nod and are about to stand up but Bucky is quicker, changing his grip and holding you close as he gets up. He carries you to the car and doesn't let go of you until you're in their mansion, in the room you have there.

When he puts you down your feet are a little unsteady and they both look at you with concern, but you give them a weak smile “It’s okay.” "We'll be right outside, shout if you need anything," Steve tells you and when you nod they both step out and close the door softly behind them.

For a moment you stand still, trying to make sense of the last hours, wondering how everything went to shit. Then you finally get a good look at yourself in the tall mirror and see the black rivulets of mascara and eyeliner smudged down your cheeks, the foundation almost gone.

The dress is ruined by the wine and even if it was expensive and you can get it dry cleaned you don’t want it anymore. You pull it off and throw it into the trash can, quickly followed by the heels. The lingerie is one of your favorite sets but you're unsure if you will ever be able to enjoy it again without remembering how you chose it especially for John. After a moment it goes into the trash, and the earrings too, feeling like you need everything from the night to be gone.

The only thing you keep on your body is the necklace that was a gift from Bucky and Steve years ago and you haven’t taken it off since. It's custom-made with three delicate chains in gold, silver, and black twisted together. You loved it the moment you saw it, knowing that the chains were the three of you, twisted together through the rest of your lives. When you touch it with your fingers it makes you feel better, because you can feel them with you.

The shower feels more than just bodily cleansing and when you remove the last pieces of your smeared makeup, smoothing eye cream over your puffy eyes, the feeling of fear and panic is distant.

In the closet are a bunch of your clothes, probably more than you like to admit, but the best part is the drawer with their old t-shirts. You pull one out, not sure which of them it used to belong to, but it’s worn and soft against your skin. For a moment you press it against your nose, breathing in the detergent that reminds you of this place and all the wonderful memories that you have with them, before you find your pajama pants.

Out in your room you sit on the bed and look around at the muted colors. Bucky and Steve insisted that the room was yours, not just a guest room, and it makes you smile a little when you think about how much fun you had decorating it.

After taking a deep breath you open the door and find them just a few steps away. The look in Bucky's eyes is murderous and Steve's fists are clenched by his side, but when they turn to you they go back to being your best friends that you met in college all those years ago. "How are you feeling?" Bucky steps up to you and pulls you into a soft hug, tucking your head underneath his chin as you wrap your arms around his waist, breathing in the smell of him. Steve comes up behind you, placing his palms on your shoulders, rubbing the muscles carefully. "Better now," you answer. "But I never had dinner so I'm a bit hungry."

Bucky pulls away from you, cradling your face, tilting it up until you're looking right into his light blue eyes. "Let's go raid the kitchen," he smiles and holds your gaze for a few seconds more and there is so much love in those eyes it's almost scary. You know he would burn down the city if it made you happy, they both would, and that intensity is one of the many things that have kept you from finding out what it would be like to be theirs. You're not sure you'd be able to handle it.

When Bucky lets go of you, Steve's arm goes around your waist and he pulls you into him, Bucky takes your hand, lacing your fingers together, and you walk to the kitchen. You sit down at the kitchen island while they open the fridge.

"The chef made mac'n’cheese," Steve says and pulls out an oven pan, covered in tin foil with a post-it note on top with instructions for heating it. Bucky turns on the oven and says, "Want something to drink Sweets?"

"Soda?" you ask and Steve pulls a can out of the fridge before settling down beside you, handing it to you. You hand it right back "Please? I don't wanna fuck up my nails." That makes him chuckle as he opens it and the sound makes you warm on the inside so you lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you," you sigh. "For always being here for me. I'm sorry I ruined your party." "You didn't ruin shit," Bucky spits out, glaring at you from where he is standing by the oven. Steve and you chuckle at his harsh tone but then he leans forward, over the counter towards you, resting his large arms against the surface.

"I mean it, Sweets, don't you ever think you ruin anything by showing up, for any reason," his voice is stern but you know it comes from a place of love. "Thank you, Bucky, it means a lot," you smile.

When the oven is warm Bucky puts the tray in and pulls out plates. It only takes a few minutes and your tummy rumbles as the kitchen fills with the smell of cheese. Bucky and Steve make small talk about work things and you're grateful for them filling the silence while you finally get some food.

But it isn't the nice chicken that you cooked for John that you looked forward to eating and your eyes begin to burn. Even though you try to force the tears back they come anyway and run down your cheeks as you eat. Neither Bucky nor Steve notice until you reach for a paper towel and sniffle loudly. Not a second later you're wrapped up in Steve's embrace, crying into his shirt again while Bucky caresses your hair and nape. They mumble sweet things to you and tell you that you're safe and that nothing is ever going to hurt you again.

After a few minutes, the tears run dry. "I'm okay," you say and Steve loosens his hold, his eyes filled with concern for you. "You sure?" "Yeah, but I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Should probably try to get some sleep.” "We're sleeping in my room," Bucky decides and you nod, Steve too.

It's not unusual for the three of you to share a bed when one of you has had a rough time. The first time it happened was after finals and you all fell asleep in Steve's bed, totally exhausted, and slept better than you'd had in weeks.

Then it was after break-ups, yours, Steve's, Bucky's, somehow you all ended up in a bed together every time and it wasn't sexual at any point, just friends being there for each other and it continued through the years. The only time it was out of the question was when one of you was in a relationship, then it just felt weird, and from previous experience, it wasn't something that partners were all that accepting of.

You retrieve your pillows and cover from your room before settling in Bucky’s huge bed, your feet twisted up with Steve's, and Bucky is holding your hand. It's nice, it's familiar and you drift off knowing you're safe with them.

The room is dark when their soft voices wake you, but that might be because of the black-out curtains and not because it's still night. They’ve moved close enough to you that you can feel the warmth from their bodies on either side of you, and Bucky’s chest is right in front of your eyes when you open them slightly to peek. They don't notice you're awake and you don't feel like announcing it either, curious what they’re talking about.

"We let her decide." Even if Steve's tone is hushed it's still hard. "She is too sweet, you know she would never hurt a fly, she's going to say no," Bucky protests harshly in a whisper. This is interesting, you think.

"Even if you and I are fine with getting blood on our hands, maybe she doesn't want to live with that, maybe she wants to press charges." Steve has always been the more level-headed of the two, good with looking at things from all angles and keeping his cool. Bucky huffs and you want to giggle. His emotions always get him in trouble, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. When Bucky is angry he sees red and when he loves he does it with his whole soul and being. One time you asked Steve how he isn’t dead yet since his poker face seems to suck, but Steve explained that when they’re doing business he is usually calm and collected. When his emotions finally break through, people know they should probably run.

"Fine.” You can tell Bucky is not happy but he lowers his voice even more, and now it’s tinged with something else. “But I'm never letting her go again." His words together with his gentle tone make your heart skip. There was a time when you seriously thought about asking them to see if the three of you could work it out, and be more than just friends. But what you have with them is so precious that if it fails in the end, and you lose your best friends, you're not sure how you're going to go on.

"And you think I will?" Steve mutters. "We should have said something a long time ago." "Well, we can't go back in time. All I know is that I love her and I can't see her with anyone else ever again," Bucky's voice sounds like it's going to crack. He never cries but that is as close as it gets.

Steve reaches over you towards him, you can't see what he does but you know how Steve's comforting hands look on Bucky, you've seen it before. Sometimes they're even sweeter with each other than they are with you, when they think no one can see them, not even you. It's so clear that they love each other deeply, honestly it's surprising that they don't just date each other.

You hear Bucky hum in contentment and Steve gives a small soft laugh. It feels like a good time as any to pretend to wake up. You file away their words for another day, not ready to deal with them now in the wake of what’s happened. First, you need to heal the broken heart you're already nursing before thinking about giving it away again.

With a groan you turn from your side to your back, stretching and blinking your eyes open. They're lying on their sides, both resting their heads on their hands. "What time is it?" you mumble, rubbing your eyes. "Just past nine," Bucky informs you and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face. "And you two are still here?" "Just for you," Steve says softly and finds your hand, twisting your fingers together.

Both of them are early risers and you hate mornings, something they tease you for endlessly. "Honestly though, have you already, like, gone for a run, had breakfast, and then sealed some important deal?" "Nope." Bucky slides his arm in under your neck, placing the other hand on your hip, and pulls you closer to him. "We didn't want to leave in case you woke up." Steve shuffles closer, his chest pressing into your shoulder. "Didn't want you to think we left you all by yourself."

You hum and decide to ask "Would it be okay if I stay here a few days?" "Sweets, stay as long as you want. It's your home as much as ours,” Steve answers. "No,” you correct. “My name is definitely not on any papers for this house." "We can fix that if that's what you want. Just move here." Bucky is serious but you decide to laugh it off. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" "Like old times." he smiles.

"Except I have no desire to listen to the people you bring home scream and moan, got enough of that in college,” tumbles out of your mouth without really thinking of it. They exchange a look but before they can say anything you hastily continue. "Do you think I need to break up with John, or do you think he got the message when I left?"

An uneasy silence falls and Bucky breaks it. "I'm gonna be honest with you Sweets, I really wanna fucking kill him, and make it as painful and as horrifying for him as possible. Death will feel like a blessing in the end." Steve speaks next. "But it's your decision, and if you wanna press charges against him, we'll make our lawyers available."

It’s a lot to take in at that moment. "I don't know,” you answer truthfully. “It still hurts, I'm still scared but I'm not sure what will make it better." "When you've decided you let us know and we'll do whatever you want." Steve bends down to kiss the top of your head.

"If I see him on the street or something though I'm gonna punch him," Bucky says casually before letting go of you and getting out of bed. When his warmth leaves you, you whine and that makes him chuckle. He kneels on the bed and kisses your forehead. "Steve will keep you company while I make breakfast." "You mean go get what the chef has already prepared?" you joke. Bucky shoots you a look before leaving the bedroom.

"We should be glad he isn't actually cooking. Remember when he tried to make pancakes for his girlfriend and almost burned down the apartment," Steve notes. "That's because he got distracted. I mean, I'm glad I came out of my room when I did but the image of Bucky and her on the kitchen table still haunts me," you chuckle.

"You weren't exactly innocent back in those days either," Steve points out with a laugh. "But I never did it on the communal surfaces," you defend with a huff. "No, all we got was listening to you trying to stifle every sound and failing miserably." "Well, at least I didn't break a wall while fucking someone." "It was a shitty wall, never have that problem here." "See that's why I don't wanna move here." "We can soundproof your room?" "Or I can just live in my apartment?"

Bucky comes back with a breakfast tray and places it on the bedside table before pulling out your phone from his pants. "It's been buzzing nonstop since I got down," he explains and hands it to you right as the screen lights up with an incoming call.

"It's John," you tell them, and your chest floods with anxiety as you stare at the screen and sit up against the headboard. "Answer it," Steve sits up beside you, his shoulder brushing yours. Bucky is pressed against you much the same on your other side. "On speaker," he instructs and takes out his own phone to record the call.

Your hands shake as you swipe to answer. "H-hello." Your voice is wavering. "Baby! I'm sorry for yesterday, I'm sorry I got mad. I've been calling since you left, I've been so worried. I checked your place but you weren't home. Where are you?" John says in a worried voice. "I'm at a friend's house," you reply.

The feelings in your chest are conflicted, on one hand you never want to see him again but hearing his voice makes you remember that when he is good he is great, amazing even, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss him. For the last few months, you gave it your all and you were even prepared to tell him you love him.

"I'll come and pick you up and let me apologize properly," he sounds pained like he is actually sorry for what he did. Fuck, it's so tempting to go back but you know better. You know that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and getting wine thrown in your face is probably not the worst that can happen.

"No, John." You try to sound confident but you're not sure it comes across. "I don't think it's going to work out between us." The moment you say the words the tears well up and Steve starts rubbing your shoulder." You're doing great," he whispers right by your ear so John doesn't hear.

"Are you-" John sounds shocked. "Are you breaking up with me… over the phone?" "Yeah, sorry." You cringe, you shouldn't be sorry. "You scared me yesterday and I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"Babe you don't need to be scared of me, I would never hurt you I swear," he sounds like he is about to cry and a part of you wants to comfort him. "You threw wine in my face and said some really mean things," you point out.

"I didn't mean any of that, I promise. You know I've had a lot on my plate lately and I didn't mean to take it out on you." There is some part of you that desperately wants to believe him. "That's not an excuse," you go on. "I'm not an object for you to take out your frustration on. It's not going to work John."

There is a long silence before he speaks again and now his voice is laced with rage instead. "Then you can come get your fucking things right now." "John, please don't-" you start but he cuts you off.

"You fucking bitch, you lead me on for months and then you break up with me over the phone, because what? You think I’m gonna hit you or something?" "Yeah, maybe," you answer truthfully. "You're such a dumb bitch, I would never lay a hand on a woman I care about."

Both Steve and Bucky stir beside you. When you shoot them a glance they are both staring at the screen with murder in their eyes. "Calling me names won't change my mind, John," it hurts when he says them, like an actual stab in the heart and it brings out more tears.

Bucky leans over and taps the mute button. "There is no way you're going over there, we'll send Sam and Vis." You nod and unmute while John is raging on about how dumb and useless you are and how he wishes he'd never wasted his time on you. "I'm going to send some friends to pick up my things."

"Oh, so you won't even face me yourself?” his voice is unrecognizable now. “You know what? I'm glad for what I did, I'm not sorry anymore, you're obviously a fucking coward and not worth a second of my time." Every ounce of fight is gone from you, you're just tired and want it to be over. You don’t want to listen to the hurtful words anymore so you simply say "Goodbye John," and don't even wait for a response before hanging up. You drop the phone into the sheets and bury your face in your hands, your body jerking with sobs.

Steve and Bucky’s arms go around you but you hardly notice, everything is just excruciating pain, your heart smashed into a million pieces. Twenty-four hours ago you were happy with a man you thought you knew, and loved, but now everything is broken and you're not sure what you’re going to do next.

It takes a long time for you to stop crying and when it finally ends you're exhausted, again. The coffee Bucky brought has gone cold but Steve holds a glass of juice to your lips and makes you take a few sips before coaxing some yogurt into your mouth. "Steve is going to stay with you while I take care of a few things. If you need me, you tell him and I'll be right back," Bucky promises when he leaves the bed again, taking the tray with him out of the bedroom.

"Is he going to kill him?" you ask softly as you sink down under the covers. Steve puts his arm around your waist and pulls you into his chest until your face is squished against it. "No," his voice is soft. "Not without me." "Steve…" "Can you blame us, Sweets? John was lucky it was over the phone or else we would have beaten him into a pulp for saying those things."

"He never acted like that before," you whisper. "I'm just happy you got out before he put his hands on you," Steve whispers back. "If you had shown up with bruises yesterday I might have lost it." "I love you," you tell him and he kisses the top of your head. "I love you too, Sweets, and I know Bucky feels just the same." You hum and let the exhaustion take over.

They have switched when you wake the next time, you're in Bucky's arms and he is carding his fingers through your hair speaking quietly to you. "Wake up Sweets, it's time for dinner."

Even if you’ve slept right through lunch you shake your head and swing your leg over his hip, clinging to him. "Don't wanna get up," you whine. "If you eat dinner, we can watch a movie on the couch afterward." He knows just how to tempt you and you need something to try and take your mind off everything.

"Candy?" you pull back. Even if the light in the room is dim you can still see the blue in his eyes, and the crinkles at the corners when he smiles. "You know we keep stock of everything you like, there is always something sweet for our Sweets."

You hug him hard. "I love you Bucky, you know that right?" "I love you too, Sweets." He kisses the top of your head, much like Steve did earlier. "And I know Steve feels just the same." That makes you giggle "Steve said the same thing." "Well he is a smart man," he shrugs.

Bucky all but pulls you out of bed but he doesn't force you to change out of your pajamas. He leads you to the kitchen where Steve is plating the food and your stomach grumbles when you smell it. They have set the table with candles and it looks lovely but it also reminds you of your last candle-lit dinner. Bucky sees the look on your face turns you away from it and tilts your chin up with his fingertips, "It’s…” he begins, hesitating, trying to find the right words. “We want to replace every bad memory, but if it’s too much too soon we’ll throw it all out.”

The scary thing is that he is serious. If you said the word they would throw everything out, but you don't want that, you want a nice dinner with them and try to get past what happened. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t but you won’t know until you’ve tried. And if there is one thing you know for sure, it is that you are safe with them.

“It’s fine, I’ll try,” you promise with a smile before turning around to sit down at the table. Steve serves the food and Bucky pours you a glass of wine. After a few bites, Bucky brings up some stupid shit the three of you did a long time ago and through dinner, you reminisce about old times.

Since meeting John you haven't seen them as much because you learned early on that partners were weirded out or even jealous of what you had with them. Right now you can’t fathom why you would ever do that, because these two people are the best thing in your life.

You fold your napkin into your lap and look at them. "I'm sorry for, like, ghosting you the last few months," you swallow hard. "I've been a shitty friend but you always take care of me when I need you, and I’m so thankful for that. I promise I’ll do better."

"It's okay sweets," Steve smiles and reaches over the table to grasp your hand. Bucky takes the other and his thumb caresses your knuckles. "Don't apologize, there is no need." The lump in your throat is from love and not from sadness this time and you don't try to speak, just nod, squeezing their hands back.

Afterward, you cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie but ten minutes in you're already nodding off. When Steve and Bucky notice you're asleep they turn the TV off and Steve carries you up to Bucky's bedroom. "She has work tomorrow," Bucky whispers and pulls the cover up over your body. "Fuck, should we wake her?" Steve asks back. "No, let her sleep, she starts at nine so if we let her sleep til seven it should be fine."

Fortunately, the alarm on your phone goes off as usual but when you turn to snooze it, you instead roll into a warm chest. Steve grumbles and reaches for your phone, handing it to you before seizing you around the waist, and burying his face in your neck.

“Hey, I have to get up,” you mutter. It feels like your eyes are filled with sand and your head is pounding but you have to go to work nonetheless. “You don’t have to work,” he speaks into your skin and it makes a tingling feeling travel through you.

“Don’t be silly, let go of me,” you chuckle and detangle yourself. The other side of the bed is empty, Bucky already up. You drag yourself over to your room to shower before getting ready and eating breakfast. Steve insists on driving you to work and Bucky comes and sees you off with a long hug and a kiss on your hair. “I’ve put Clint and Peter to watch your apartment and Sam and Vis are going to be outside your work all day, Sweets.” “Thank you, Bucky.”

When Steve drops you off he points out the car. "If you see John or you for any other reason feel unsafe you can go to them right away, or call us,” he tucks a strand of hair in behind your ear. “Don’t hesitate. You mean everything to us and we want to keep you safe, Sweets,” You nod. “Thank you, Steve,” you whisper, leaning over the console to kiss his cheek before heading to work.

What you told yourself would only be a few days, turns into a few weeks and now it’s almost two months. Despite your initial refusal, you’re enjoying living with them again. A few times after the break-up, John tried to contact you and every time the phone started buzzing and your anxiety spiked you found one of them and they helped you through it.

You haven’t slept in your room once and neither has Steve, it's always the three of you sleeping in Bucky's bed. It could be because Bucky has an expensive bed that you sleep so soundly, but in the back of your head, you know it’s because their presence calms you.

If Bucky or Steve can't drive you to work, someone else does, your own car is still parked on the street by your apartment and you don’t have any desire to go get it. But you do miss some of your clothes, and toiletries, so maybe you should take it as a sign that you need to go back.

After getting home from work that day you walk up to their office, a little apprehensive. Both of them are leaning over the desk when you poke your head in, their cuffs rolled up, exposing their underarms. It’s enough to make your stomach flip, they look too good. Steve sees you first and a smile splits his face. “Hey Sweets, have a good day at work?”

Bucky turns and opens his arms towards you when you step into the room. His hug is warm and comforting and you answer Steve’s question with a yes, before taking a step back from them. "I know I said I was only going to stay a few days but it's been way more than that now, so I think I'll go back to my place after work tomorrow." You try to sound as neutral as possible, neither sad nor happy, just stating a fact.

"No," Bucky breathes, fists tightening at his sides. "I agree with Bucky, don't leave," Steve's voice is calm and his face doesn’t give much away but his eyes are betraying him, they’re too glossy, too wide, and too filled with fear to miss.

The other reason you need to go back home is the way they are treating you and touching you. It’s making your feelings run wild and you can't have that, you can’t risk losing them too. And if that wasn't enough they've invaded your dreams with their touches and words, making you wake up aching for them in a way that is totally inappropriate.

"I can't stay, you know that," you sigh. "No, I don't." Bucky is frustrated, staring at you. "I really fucking don't know why you can't stay. We love having you here and you seem to love being here. Just stay."

His mood is making you defensive, you don't want to explain that you're obviously catching feelings soon after getting out of something traumatic. You need to think, and every time you wake up drenched, tucked in between them you are seconds away from ruining everything by confessing or honestly just taking one of their hands and pushing it in between your legs, hoping they will help you get off.

"I need my own space, Bucky," you cross your arms and glare at him. "You have your own room," he states and takes a step closer. "That I don't use anyway," you reply and take a step back. "Because you don't want to!" His raised voice silences you not because you're scared but because he's right. Bucky isn’t stupid and he's not the type to sugarcoat things when he's upset.

Your heart is hammering. "No I don't want to," you confess with a breath. "But I need to." Then you turn to go but only get a step from the desk before Steve grabs your wrist. He spins you into his chest, Bucky coming up behind you, boxing you in between them. Bucky's head falls on your shoulder. "I can't let you go again, Sweets, I can't do it."

Your mind flashes back to the morning when you pretended to sleep and heard them talking. The breath in your chest hitches as you look up into Steve's blue-green eyes. “I’m with him, Sweets,” he says in a low voice and cups your cheek with his large hand. “You belong here, with us.”

Your mouth opens and you try to protest but it dies on your tongue and Steve takes the opportunity to continue. "We love you, more than anything, we want you to be ours, more than just our best friend. Live with us, be with us in every sense of the word. All three of us, together," his voice wavers at the end.

The words sink in slowly. Be with them. Be theirs. Stay. Your body is aching to say yes and your heart is about to beat its way out of your chest. “But…” “All I know is that I feel incomplete without you, like a part of my soul is somewhere else, and the only time I'm at peace is when I'm with you two. I can't keep living like a part of me is missing. So I'm asking you, please stay, please help us figure this out and be with us." Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist. "Every time I see you with someone else my heart gets ripped out of my chest and I've tried to be with other people, we both have, but in the end, they’re not you."

Their confessions break down your defenses as their words ring true. In all your relationships over the years, there's always been something missing but you've never been able to figure out what. There's been passion and there's been love but it's always lacking something and now you think you get it. It has lacked them and the deep connection you share through years and years of friendship. Feeling stupid about wanting to leave and thinking you weren’t ready to be with them makes tears well in your eyes. Whatever it is you three can figure it out, it may not be traditional but it beats being unhappy.

"Don't cry, Sweets." Steve runs his thumb over your cheek. You lean your head into his chest, nodding against it. "I'll stay," you sniffle. The arms around your waist tighten and Bucky speaks into your shoulder. "Really Sweets?" he sounds like he’s worried that maybe you're joking.

"Really Bucky," you promise, wrapping your arms around Steve and hugging him close. For a moment it’s just the three of you enveloped in your shared love but then Bucky rights himself and you look up at him over your shoulder, matching his silly smile.

He leans in like he is about to kiss you but he stops himself, his eyes searching yours for something, and it's scary. If you take the plunge everything will change, or maybe it won't, but it feels like an earthquake is rolling through your life, upsetting everything and if you let him kiss you it will be real. But that's what you want.

"Please?" you ask him and his whole face lights up before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours. It could be described as fireworks, an erupting volcano, or maybe feeling the first rays of sunlight on your skin after years in darkness, but nothing will come close to the feeling of being kissed by Bucky.

It's a chaste kiss with just his lips moving carefully against yours. It's over quicker than you want but in his place is Steve, turning your head back towards him and descending on you. His fingers run through your hair and he opens your mouth to let his tongue play with yours, the feeling once again indescribable, it's just the feeling of right. Everything about it feels right.

Even if the kiss is slow when he pulls back your breathing is labored and you're clutching his shirt. "I-" you begin but can’t find any words. That kiss ignited something inside you, it's like you're seeing color for the first time, everything is clearer and sharper. What even was your life before?

"Are doing okay Sweets?" Bucky asks next to your ear and you nod in response. When his soft lips caress the side of your neck you whimper and lean your head to give him better access, he chuckles against your skin, nipping it and making you gasp. "I wanna eat you up, find out what you taste like everywhere."

It’s a badly kept secret that Bucky has a marking kink. You’ve seen his exes, you know he's possessive and likes to leave marks. You can't wait to have them on you so you whisper, "Mark me.”

Steve chuckles above you. "She knows you, Bucky," he says with a smile. "You too, Steve, please?" You’re almost begging, but not quite, just asking nicely. "You want me to give you a hickey?" he asks with a crooked smile but those eyes are too easy to read. He craves you. "Or a bruise, or a bite mark, something, anything," "Fuck…" His face changes to match his dark eyes. "You want everyone to know you belong to us, Sweets?" he asks with a hoarse voice and you feel the large bulge in his pants press against your stomach.

You nod, biting your lip. "Show me how you do it, Bucky.” They spin you around and Bucky grabs at the collar of your blouse, pulling harshly, sending the buttons flying over the office. “Hey-” you begin but he pulls the fabric aside exposing the juncture between your shoulder and neck. First, he sinks his teeth in, hard enough for you to hiss but not breaking the skin, then he closes his lips and sucks.

It's painful but the act in itself makes you throb. When he pulls back you release your breath but Steve is quick to pull the neckline on the other side and do the exact same thing. He is gentler but when he's done there is still a purple bruise on your skin. "Fuck me," you whimper against Bucky.

"Yes, Sweets, we will. Long and hard until you can't take it anymore. We're going to ruin you." Steve promises before he grabs you and lifts you up, spinning you so you can wrap your legs around him as he starts walking to the bedroom, Bucky right behind you. You reach your hand out towards him and he grabs it, kissing your palm and knuckles. "We're going to take care of you Sweets, you'll never want for anything," he promises with a wicked smirk.

Steve places you on the edge of the bed and stands up, looking down at you. Bucky comes up beside him, resting his forearm on Steve's shoulder. "Look at our sweets, can you believe it?" Bucky asks. Steve turns to him with a smile. "Yes." Then he places two fingers under Bucky's chin, turning his head before kissing him. It's heated, filthy and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen. You squeeze your legs together to alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling in your cunt. Their kiss shows that it's nothing new, they've obviously done it before and you're a little mad that they have withheld this from you.

When Steve starts pulling on Bucky's clothes you can't keep the moan from slipping out. They both break away and turn to you and you feel small in the best way possible. "Did you like that?" Bucky asks before leaning down and kissing you.

The knowledge that his tongue was just in Steve's mouth and is now sliding against yours makes you moan again. You start undoing the buttons on his shirt and he pulls on your top. When you separate, he pulls it off and you’re left in just your bralette. Steve makes a sound in the back of his throat at the sight and starts taking off his own clothes.

Bucky kneels in front of you on the floor, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them off, while you stare at Steve as more and more skin is revealed. He holds your gaze the whole time and you bite your lip when he starts at his pants. His chest and forearms are huge, covered in tattoos but in no way hiding the muscle underneath. It makes your mouth water and your cunt clench.

Bucky starts kissing up your bare leg, beginning at your ankles and slowly working his way up your calve and the inside of your thigh. When you're still staring at Steve he nips your skin. "I know he's gorgeous but when I eat your pussy I want your eyes on me, Sweets." He tries to look offended but his pupils are blown wide with lust.

Just the thought of him between your legs makes a shiver run through you and your cunt impossibly wetter. Nodding at him you caress the side of his face and watch him, the closer he gets, the more you start to tremble with need. No one had ever made you feel so needy and horny.

Bucky kisses your cunt through your underwear, making you gasp. "Please Bucky, I need you." "I know, I can smell how fucking wet you are Sweets." He twists your panties out of the way. "Fuck, Steve, look at her, she's dripping."

Steve, in just his underwear now, slides his fingers gently through the mess, making you tremble and moan, before bringing the fingers to his mouth and holding your gaze as he licks them clean. Then Bucky's mouth is on you, his tongue licking from your core up to your clit.

"Fuck-fuck-fuck-" you cry and grab the sheets under you, bucking up into his touch. Steve chuckles and gets behind you on the bed. "He looks like he's in heaven, Sweets. He has wanted you for so long." You feel his fingers undo the clasp of your bra and then slide it off. His hands cup your tits a second later, making more sounds spill out of your mouth. His fingers rub, caress, and pull on your nipples while Bucky is hurdling you toward your climax.

"I'm- I'm gonna-" Your legs shake and you grab Steve's arm with one hand, the other going to Bucky's head, grabbing his short hair. Every muscle in your body tenses right before the coil snaps, making you scream out your release, riding Bucky's face and feeling the pleasure-filled waves travel through your body.

You slump against Steve's and he holds you. Bucky pulls back with a shit-eating grin, wiping his face with the back of his hand, saying "Fuck Sweets," before he stands up and starts taking off his clothes.

You already feel amazing, high off your orgasm but you want more and Steve's hard-on is pressing into your back. You turn around on the bed. "Move up," you tell him and his smirk is knowing but he does as you say and moves to sit against the headboard.

You rid yourself of your drenched panties before grabbing his boxers and pulling them off. "Eager Sweets?" he chuckles and fists his cock as soon as it's free. It's thick and long as him and you can't fucking wait. You bite your lip before asking "Condom?"

"I know we should but I want to feel you raw Sweets,” he confesses. “Are you on birth control?" "Sure, and I got tested the week after…" you trail off not wanting the bad memories to ruin the moment. Bucky's heat is suddenly behind you, grabbing your hair and forcing your head back to kiss you deeply. When he lets go he says, "Steve and I got tested like a week before you moved in and I've not even looked another person's way since then." Steve laughs "And I haven't fucked anyone either so get over here and ride my cock Sweets."

To say you scramble is an accurate description, quickly shuffling over to him and straddling his hips. You hold onto his shoulders as he swipes the head of his cock through your mess, holding it still for you to sink down on.

All three of you moan in unison as his dick disappears into your tight hot channel. The grip Steve has on your hips is almost bruising and the look on his face is painful. “F-fuck. Sweets. Damn.” Is all he gets out. You lean in, kissing his cheeks and chin and lips, and start to move, slowly, the feeling is amazing, he's filling you up to the brim perfectly.

"Feels so good," you stutter and then drop down hard. "I'm never watching porn again," Bucky says from behind you and you watch him over your shoulder, kneeling on the bed and jerking his cock. You whine in the back of your throat, you want him too, so you reach for him as you bounce on Steve's cock, making him spill the most delicious sounds.

Bucky shuffles over and you grab his dick in your hand, he's big enough that it doesn't fit all the way around. His hand lands on Steve's shoulder to steady himself and Steve reaches out to place a hand on his hip.

The sounds the three of you make fill the room. It's moans, groans, and whimpers, the sound of slapping skin and squelching wetness. Your clit is steadily rubbing against Steve, getting you closer and closer. Bucky is panting heavily, Steve is too.

"Sweets, I can feel you. Are you gonna come on my cock?" Steve is trying to sound unaffected and failing miserably, but he continues to spill filth that rushes you toward the edge. "When I've filled you up, Bucky is gonna fuck my cum right back into you, aren't you Buck?" "Fuck yes," he groans before leaning in and kissing you deeply. “I wanna see you come on his cock Sweets.”

"Next time I wanna feel both of you come in me at the same time," you whimper. "Sweets, you goddamn slut." Steve groans with a laugh and bucks up into you harder. "Tell us more! Please! I want to hear every filthy little thought hidden inside that mind."

You turn to look at Bucky. "I want both of you in every hole. I want you to use me like I'm a toy and worship me like a queen," you tell him, then turn to Steve. "Put my name on the house and celebrate it by fucking in every room, on every surface, show me all of your kinks, give me everything."

Steve's eyes are screwed shut and he's let go of Bucky to grab your hips, pulling you down onto his big cock. "Keep going," you urge him, your release just a few thrusts away. But he's too close and before you can get there he suddenly sits up to wrap his arms around your waist, crushing you against his chest, thrusting up hard, and comes with a loud moan of your name.

You feel wild, right on the edge of ecstasy but left dangling in mid-air. With pleading eyes and a whine you look at Bucky who smirks at you before pulling you away from Steve and laying you on your back. A second later he fills you up, the sound of his cock pushing through Steve's mess is as sweet as it's nasty.

"Please, Bucky, please," you beg. "Yeah I know, don't worry, not gonna blow my load early," he taunts over his shoulder at Steve who just gives him the finger. "Understand him though, you’re so tight and warm Sweets. Makes me a bit crazy. I just want to fill you up over and over again," he confesses.

"I need to-" you begin but he cuts you off. "Rub your clit for me. Come on my cock," he demands but you know something that is even better than your own fingers and you reach out your arm.

"Steve," you plead and he crawls over to you and lays down beside you, pushing his hand in between your bodies, finding your clit. You arch off the bed with his touch, hands clutching Bucky's arms as he rams into you. The dual sensation is amazing and with how close you were seconds ago the end approaches quickly. Your moans get louder the closer you get and both Bucky and Steve praise you the whole way through.

"You sound so fucking pretty."

"I can barely move you gripping me so tight."

"You're so good at taking cock, Sweets. First mine and now Bucky's, it's like you were made for us."

You nod at the last thing and the pressure in your body is breaking, making your muscles convulse, almost pushing Bucky out with how hard you're coming, screaming their names as you do.

"Fuck! Yes, Sweets!" Bucky’s laugh is a little manic as he works you through it. "I'm going to fill our sweet little cunt with more cum." His hips stutter against you before he groans out your name and collapses on top of you. You run your fingers over his sweaty back and kiss his cheek. Then you turn to Steve, smiling at him beside you. "He's heavy," you complain.

Both of them laugh and Bucky rolls off before they move until you're squeezed in between them, their cum running down your legs, making a mess on the bed. Fortunately, you have at least two other beds to sleep in.

For a few months, you're walking on air. In a throuple with your two best friends, amazing sex, luxury beyond what you could have ever imagined. They constantly spoil you and they've tried to convince you to quit your job since you don't need to work when you're with them.

Tonight you're in another fancy restaurant. Bucky is trying to feed you chocolate cake because it's romantic but you tell him over and over again that you can eat by yourself. Suddenly Steve stiffens beside you and since he isn't known to have tells, you immediately get worried and follow his gaze.

John is standing at the door with a pretty girl on his arm, talking to the waiter and then being shown to a table. Next to yours.

When your eyes meet he stops for a second and his date shoots confused looks between the two of you, before you nod and he nods back, then moves again and sits down.

Steve asks for the check and you're out of your seat and outside the restaurant in no time. Bucky holds your coat as you put it on and a moment later Steve comes out too. His eyes are black with hate and when you're finally in the car you realize that you can't live like this.

"I think-" you begin, swallowing then clearing your throat, "I think I'm going to need those lawyers."

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eddiessluttywaist · 10 months

Text

desiderium

an eddie munson series

AGELESS/BLANK/UNDER 18 BLOGS ARE NOT WELCOME TO INTERACT. PLEASE RESPECT MY RULES AND BOUNDARIES.

summary: eddie’s odd, forgotten childhood friend seeks him out when he needs her more than he realizes.

pairing: bsf!mechanic!bartender!eddie x eccentric!bsf!fem!reader

word count: 7,488 words

content/warnings: eventual smut so MDNI, fluff, swearing, blood (accidental cut), mentions of bullying, low self esteem, anxiety, mentions of embarrassment and shame, mentions of a history of bad relationships, smoking, car trouble (sorry if any of the car stuff isn’t accurate lmao). i think that’s it!

a/n: sorry for taking so long to update! i've been very busy. i hope you enjoy the new chapter! creds to whoever owns and posted those ^ photos! they’re not mine, i just made the collage!

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - part 4 - part 5

“You what?” The man on the other line cackled in Eddie’s ear. “Ro- Robin! No, you gotta come here! Eddie called some chick a ‘good girl’. He totally scared her off, it’s hilarious.”

“Thank you, Harrington, you’re really helping me in my time of need,” Eddie seethed as he laid in bed. He heard some shuffling and then a familiar feminine voice sounded from the telephone.

“‘Good girl’? What is she? A dog?”

Eddie ran his hands over his face, jostling his bangs away from his forehead before suddenly jerking them away in gestures they couldn’t even see as he let out a bitter laugh.

“Why did I even call you two? I’m regretting so many choices today.”

“So, she didn’t like it?” Steve asked as Robin complained about him crowding the phone.

“Go use the one in the living room— no— stop-”

“This is my room. You go use the living room phone.”

“Ugh, you’re breathing on me, dingus!”

Eddie rolled his eyes over the typical bickering, choosing to focus on the question that actually had to do with their conversation.

“Uh — well — she got all freaked out and everything was awkward. When she was leaving, I was going to open the door for her and she thought I was going to hug her— I-I, ugh, it was horrible. So uhh… yeah, I’d say no. She didn’t like it… at… all.”

“You have zero game, man,” Steve chided after a beat of silence that had forced Eddie to sit with his shame.

“And neither do you.” Robin argued, finally waving him out of his own room. “Don’t listen to him, Eddie, he’s an idiot.”

“Thanks, Robin…,” he muttered even if it didn’t make him feel much better.

“You’re an idiot too, just so we’re clear,” she added, and he nodded despite the fact that — once again — she couldn’t even see him. “I can’t believe you called her a good girl.”

“Okay, how many times are we going to repeat it before I blow my brains out?” Eddie deflated with a distressed laugh, clasping his hands together. He heard another line pick up.

“What’d I miss?”

“Eddie wants to die.”

“I do not blame you, man. You know it’s never too late to come here in Indianapolis. Maybe even change your identity,” Steve suggested as he leaned up against the wall by his other phone, which he had nestled between his ear and his shoulder just like Eddie did.

“Yeah, cause I could afford living in the city,” he snickered mostly to himself before sighing as he ran his hands over his face again.

“Who is she anyway?” Robin wondered.

“She’s his weird, secret friend he’s kept from us,” Steve replied in a mutter.

“No, I- she’s not a secret and she’s not weird,” Eddie huffs. “She’s just… she hasn’t been around in a while. She’s a friend from before I moved in with Wayne.”

“Oh… oh,” Robin’s interest piqued again. “So, she’s like… a best-best friend?”

“He totally wants to nail her,” Steve tacked on, and Eddie found himself groaning as he sunk further into his bed, wishing it would swallow him whole.

“I don’t wan — will you quit it? Yes, we were very close.”

“And she just happened to show up out of nowhere. I’m telling you, Ed, she wants you. You should go for it. You haven’t been laid since Chrissy…,” Steve muttered that last comment, and Robin squeezed her eyes shut as she facepalmed.

“Or she could just need a friend…?” Robin countered, her voice weakly lilting upwards as she corrected him. She just hoped the Chrissy comment wouldn’t be enough to make Eddie draw back into himself.

“She knew you when you were kids. I’m sure you were just as weird as a little child Eddie, so I doubt she was all that fazed by you calling her uh… the thing you called her.”

“Maybe…,” Eddie muttered, picking at his nails and biting at them.

He was tired. That tea really did help, even if his exhaustion was put on hold by an absurd amount of embarrassment and anxiety. He could feel himself settling again, his eyelids getting heavier.

“I should go.”

Robin squeezed her eyes shut again and mentally chastised Steve for bringing up Chrissy so carelessly.

“Call us again. Okay, weirdo? To update us?” Robin urged, feeling a surge of protective instinct.

He was never around anymore, never called; and there was always this anxiety in the back of her mind that he wasn’t letting them know if things were getting too hard for him. Neither Steve nor she could figure out when they could check in on him because he never bothered to share his schedule with them. And when they did call it was incredibly rare for him to pick up. She couldn’t blame him for wanting to shut everyone out, but it only made her worry about what was going on with him.

“I don’t wanna bother you guys. I know you’re busy with city life,” Eddie teased with a playful theatricality to his tone, but his voice was soft with that creeping exhaustion.

“Nah, you know you can call whenever,” Steve replied, taking a break from his incessant joking to let some of his sincerity come through. “Plus, I gotta hear more about this secret girl.”

“Not a secret,” Eddie corrected, his eyes closing to soothe his urge to drift off, one brow raising lazily with his words.

“Just call, okay? Or we’ll keep bugging you until you update us,” Robin urged, a sing-song tone coming to her voice.

“Fine,” Eddie snickered, and this time he was actually able to get a goodbye in and sloppily slam his phone back down before knocking out.

There was only crackling now on the line between the two roommates.

“I worry about him,” Robin spoke up suddenly, just loud enough for Steve to catch her concerned voice.

“I know,” Steve sighed, placing the phone back onto the wall. “I do too.”

You had no intentions of ignoring Eddie after that night in his trailer, not explicitly anyways. You were still thinking about him constantly, but any pleasant thoughts were immediately invaded by embarrassment. It felt like you were experiencing it all over again and the accompanying swirl to your gut was overwhelming.

The reality of the next couple of Eddie-less days was that you were too engrossed in the aftereffects of that awkward exchange to reach out first, not to mention most of your attention going to your first job here in Hawkins. Despite your nerves, you did surprisingly well on Thursday and Friday night. Enough to get a small smile to bristle Ron’s bearded face and a mutter about maybe needing to get a new name tag ready. You were unbelievably cheery over the praise and acceptance, but you still had one more test to pass: weekend shifts. Those were their busiest, especially Saturday nights. If you make it from 4 o’clock to midnight with no major screw ups then you had the job. He promised.

So yes, you were actively avoiding being the first one to call, but to be fair you were also trying to attend to other aspects of your new life in Hawkins. Your focus was being diverted to getting this job, and spending time with Martha. You were distracted by moments of promising renewal in anticipation of the growing presence of Autumn — despite the crushing embarrassment of the other night.

That didn’t mean you weren’t thinking of him, though. If you weren’t shaking off the recent memory of Wednesday night, then you were indulging in the recent memory of Wednesday night. Him having you over; you making him tea; feeling close to him again as you exchanged stories — laughing together and smiling so hard the muscles in your cheeks hurt a little. The kind of pure smile you only got when you were with Eddie.

You thought about him as you styled your hair in a manner that helped to boost your confidence but wouldn’t get in your way during your shift. You couldn’t believe he had his own place, no matter how “shitty” he said it was. You couldn’t believe he was a tattooed mechanic and had hair. That was the real kicker for you. He didn’t have it shaved so close that he felt like a peach when you patted at the top of his head just to get on his nerves.

He had those long spirals that you wanted to reach across his small kitchen counter and swirl around your finger. Those curls inspired a habit of tilting his head to let his big brown eyes hide under his messy bangs; or sometimes he toyed with his curls to pull a chunk of it in front of his face. It was fascinating to see the way his features and behaviors have adapted to adulthood. Back home he was harassed daily for his “feminine” features, so the fluttery lashes and full lips were nothing new. But now he had grown into his generous mouth and his doe eyes, and so much of his youthful softness had made way for sharp definition — particularly in his jawline and cheekbones. He’s actually grown into the kind of person that intimidated you even if he was just Eddie. He made your palms sweat and had you thinking over every little thing you said. Y’know, things like Loo-ddie. You tried to reassure yourself that you only had nerves because you wanted to have him as a best friend again so badly, but some self-aware part of you knew the signs of an impending crush. Why couldn’t you have some self-control? Why did you have to gush over just about every man who showed you an ounce of kindness?

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you even had brief heart eyes for Ron after seeing how sweet he was with Sandy. It made you yearn for what they had, and you recognized it was more about wanting such a wholesome relationship of your own than wanting someone twice your age, but you still felt ashamed about it. What’s wrong with you? You needed to let bosses stay bosses, and you needed to let best friends stay best friends. You needed Eddie to be a friend, you needed to keep those boundaries in place so you couldn’t ruin everything like always. He’s special, and you can’t just throw yourself at him and offer to give him whatever he wants just so you could feel like his everything — even if it’s only for a few minutes.

You glance at your hands now and fight the urge to chip away at your freshly painted nails to appease your low spirits. You sit with these thoughts for a moment, swallowing moisture back into your throat that felt too tight; then you forced yourself away from the cramped motel bathroom to finish getting ready for your shift. You couldn’t let yourself slip up and distract yourself with your own misery — it was Saturday, and this was your final step towards success. A measly success of a server job at a small-town bar, but you had to put a positive spin on it.

You couldn’t focus on self-loathing, and you couldn’t focus on Eddie.

“A new girl?” Eddie groaned as he rolled his sleeves up to the bends of his elbows. “The last time we had a new person I had to watch him every fucking second cause he had no clue what he was doing — shit, he even stole from you, didn’t he?”

“Yes,” Ron muttered bitterly, never happy about the reminder that someone had been sneaking cash out from under his nose. “She’s pretty good though. Real sweet and does her job.”

“I dunno… do we really need the help?”

“Kevin is back at school. We really need the help,” Ron chuckled, but felt a pang of sadness right to his chest knowing his youngest was back at college — or even in college in the first place — all the same. “Don’t be so sour. She’s a good kid.”

Eddie grumbled irritably but didn’t pester him any further. It was no use anyways. If Ron set his mind on something, then he wasn’t letting up. Sure, it made sense considering it’s his business, but he’s also stubborn as a bull and that quality had a history of surpassing logic sometimes.

About a quarter to four, Eddie was in the back when the bell rang.

“Well look at you, all nice and early again. You suckin’ up?” he heard Ron asking playfully, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Great. A suck-up.

Just what he needed. Some goody two-shoes setting a new standard that he wouldn’t meet. He was lucky if he was on time in the first place with how much he slept in on the weekends, but Ron was always cutting him slack. Jus’ a small-town bar he’d say whenever Eddie scrambled into the building with an apology already slipping out at an incoherent pace.

He couldn’t hear the new girl’s reply, assuming it had been a nonverbal one rather than one so delicate and quiet that even Ron barely heard it before the novice made her way to the back.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve worked together yet and I just… wanted… to… Loogie…?”

At the sound of your voice, Eddie was already turning around from where he was opening the recent delivery. His perception of the moment seemed to have been placed in slow motion and suddenly he was heating up with flashbacks of Wednesday night. Called her a good girl, no joke, called her a good girl his mind droned on repeat just to torture him.

“Wha — hey,” he laughed casually and thankfully avoided choking on his own spit. He swallowed thickly and his brow furrowed as his voice came out painfully hoarse. “You’re the new girl?”

“Guess so. If I do well tonight,” you murmured with a small smile, toying with your hands.

You had painted your fingernails a rich burgundy, and his eyes zeroed in on the small strokes of color before looking up at you again.

“I’m sure you’ll be okay, Ron seems really impressed with you…” Eddie offered with a light laugh after clearing his throat, suddenly feeling sheepish around you again.

“Don’t go tellin’ her that! I don’t want her thinking she doesn’t have to work hard tonight!” Ron shouted from the front, pulling a snicker out of you.

You swiftly place your purse on a hook before continuing the conversation. Even if it wasn’t the end of the world if Ron heard your conversation, you took a few steps closer to Eddie and lowered your voice a touch.

“So… did the tea help at all…?” you ask, risking a mention of Wednesday night. You lifted one sneakered foot up onto your toes and shifted nervously before settling it back down as you waited on his reply.

Eddie’s lips pushed out in thought as he brought his attention back to the delivery of nuts and pretzels (really, he was looking for an excuse to not have to look at you as he thought of that night).

“Oh, uh, yeah. Thanks — really helped,” he offered a partial smile as his eyes flitted over to you before turning down again just a fast.

You press your lips together in a weak smile of your own and nod but fall silent. Instead of giving into your urge to pick at your polish, you run the pads of your fingers over the smooth surface of your nails instead.

“‘m sorry for that hug,” you finally blurt out with an uneasy laugh. “I just- I really thought that was why you were reaching over, and I didn’t want to be rude so-”

Eddie’s eyes widened and finally removed himself from his suddenly oh-so-interesting task.

“No no no, you don’t have to apologize,” he promised as he stretched back to his full height. “I should’ve been offering anyw- ah, shit.”

Eddie hissed as he glanced down at his hand. While replying with a fervent need to reassure you, he had thoughtlessly grabbed at the wrong end of the box cutter and sliced the pad of his thumb.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” you rush over to him, instinctively cradling his hand with your own.

“Just a surface cut. Really.” Eddie chuckled. He really needed to go run it under cool water and bandage it, but he wasn’t ready to separate from you.

“What’s going on back there?” Ron questioned from the bar.

“Eddie cut his finger!” you replied as Eddie insisted “Nothing!” simultaneously.

Ron grumbled on his way to his back room that he had turned into a part kitchen, part break room, part delivery storage room. Surely there was some kind of code being broken there, but who cared? Clearly no one around Hawkins.

He eyed the way you two were situated but didn’t think much of it since you were probably just having a natural reaction to someone getting hurt.

“I swear…” he grumbled under his breath on his way over.

“You need to pay attention before you really hurt yourself one of these days,” Ron muttered, and grabbed Eddie’s wrist far harsher than when you reached out for him. “Aren’t you a mechanic? Don’t you know to watch where your hands are, kid?”

You cringed when he wiped at the spot with a rough napkin that sounded like it might as well have been sandpaper against the cut, then grunted.

“It’s fine. Just a bleeder,” he states with all the confidence of a certified physician and ruggedness of an old trucker before tugging up his jeans further into his partial beer gut and walking back out. “You know where the first aid kit is!”

“More than anyone,” Eddie added with a half grin to compliment his self-deprecation as he tilted his head, breathing out a soft laugh.

“Still accident prone, huh?” you ask with a slight scrunch to your nose and a lift to the corners of your lips, watching him head farther back in the multi-faceted room to the employee bathroom.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He tilted back out of the room to offer you a cheeky grin, his hair jostling with the motion and then again when he flicked his head to get it out of his face.

“Oh, I dunno… Coulda learned your lesson after face planting into gravel,” you offer with an innocent tone, taking a moment to clock in before sauntering over.

“Well considering that happened several times, you should know better than to assume I’d ever learn,” he whispered playfully, grinning over at you.

“Guess so,” you snort, leaning into the doorframe.

“Had to rough this face up, y’know? Really dedicate myself to becoming a man,” Eddie used a deeper, rougher tone of voice and puffed his chest out as he held a paper towel to his thumb.

“It’s a shame it didn’t work,” you pouted before laughing at the hurt look he donned.

“You wound me, truly,” he moved his good hand to his chest.

“Not as often as you do, apparently,”

“Touché, touché,” he sighed, unclasping the first aid kit and flipping it open. “You’re still a lil shit, y’know that?”

“Can’t help it. Haven’t had anyone to banter with in years,” your head settled against the wood of the doorframe and his own tilted to the side as he regarded you. That smirk of his toyed on his lips as he considered your words.

He’s about to reply — surely with some cheeky remark about you needing him — but Ron was calling before he got the chance.

“Make sure you’re wearing gloves today,” Ron muttered to Eddie without lifting his attention from whatever he was writing down.

“You never wear gloves,” Eddie countered with a childish huff. “Only rich-ass bars in the city give a shit about that crap.”

“Yeah, well I ain’t a health hazard,” he snickered, finally raising his gaze to point his pencil at Eddie’s bandaged finger. “Gloves. Now.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but pulled gloves from the box under the countertop anyways. You’re on the other side of the bar, sitting on a stool and a smile pulling at your lips. Elbows on the countertop and chin balancing on your fists, you watch him intently with little giggles sneaking out.

“Don’t encourage him,” Ron pleads gruffly at the sound of you laughing over Eddie making a big show of pulling out the gloves and slipping them onto his hands.

Once he let each glove snap into place at his wrists, Eddie outstretched his arms and displayed his new accessory.

“Eh? Nice, right? Definitely won’t make everything I touch taste like latex,” Eddie nudged his boss who gave him a less than pleased look, but you were sure he was muffling his own amusement.

“Wanna learn how to bartend?” Ron asks you now. “I think there’ll be an opening soon.”

At that, Eddie leans back with a belly laugh, his dimples sinking into his cheeks.

You had unfortunately started your shift with the assumption that they had been messing with you when Ron and Sandy warned you about Saturday nights. When you arrived just before 4 o’clock there was nearly no one there besides the occasional regular; then twenty minutes past 5 o’clock came along and you were blasted back to Sunday mornings at the diner. The place was packed full of people all chummy with one another, which was charming until they were several drinks in and decided they knew you just as well.

Not all of them, but enough of them were flirting with you at every opportunity; and you were forced to use your customer service manners to deal with them. So many fake smiles were starting to make your cheeks ache.

Returning to the back with an empty tray, you rub at the muscles in one cheek with your free hand. You almost forgot how much service work meant forcing a pleasant attitude and dealing with aching feet. God, that was killing you more than anything. When you were leaving the motel, your trusty sneakers were like walking on clouds. Now, you were certain you had been stomping around on needles.

The music didn’t exactly help with your shift either while trying to hear requests and reply, especially since you weren’t one to use a loud tone. Ron insisted on live music whenever he could get it and you understood the appeal, but the band playing tonight apparently didn’t know how to have a respectable volume set for performing indoors.

You could handle it and you knew you’d form a routine with the locals that rushed in on the weekends and you’d learn how to cope with deafening musicians — you just needed to adjust to your new job.

What you couldn’t handle, as you were quickly learning, was seeing Eddie bartend. It was such a simple act, and yet it left you slack jawed while trying to stay focused on dishing out the drinks he prepared to the right people.

Something about the gloved hands and the rolled-up sleeves as he moved around the bar with such ease left you in the shadow of a crush looming overhead again. His chain bracelet and that familiar beaded bracelet were stacked on one wrist; he even had a few faded tattoos you caught glimpses of in the dim lighting. Not to mention the moving musculature in his strong forearms as he poured and served and wiped with a sort of sloppy expertise. You noticed there wasn’t a lot of mixing around here just like back home. Just a whole lot of small-town people looking for simple alcohol. The older ones seemed partial to a basic glass of whiskey or beer; and the younger ones all hopped up on the fact that they could finally drink legally were requesting shots.

Eddie had tied his hair back in a low bun with the occasional curl rebelling and framing his face that seemed to only be smiling or thinly veiling irritation whenever a mean drunk bitched about him not pouring enough. Either way it truly was something to behold.

As much as his looks should’ve been a passing thought, considering your place as an old friend, they insisted on lingering. You were still adjusting to knowing him this way and the odd disposition between knowing him like no one else and not knowing him at all continued to present a disorienting mix of feelings. The possibility of such complications never occurred to you when you became dead set on coming here, and you hated that you didn’t see it coming or brace yourself for it. Now you were stumbling through moving here for a childhood best friend and winding up finding a man in his place.

Then, of course, your thoughts circled back to your history with men. Don’t go there, don’t go there.

You let out a small sigh and checked the clock. 11:11. So close. So, so close. Before you knew it, it would be time to leave. Glancing at your notepad, you go over what that guy in the sweat stained sports tee asked for his cheap nachos. Extra jalapeños. He insisted on extra jalapeños and went into way too much detail of how “he’d be paying for it in the morning, but they’re just so damn good.”

“Having fun?” Eddie asked after his plodding jog to the back.

“Oh, you bet. An absolute blast,” you laughed, pouring the molten cheese over the thin tortilla chips. “Whatcha doing here?”

“Break,” Eddie answered simply as he flopped down in a chair in the small corner of the space dedicated to the employees. “Ron and Sandy got the bar for now.”

“Ahh,” you hum, spooning the jalapeños on top of the mountain of ingredients.

“Y’know, you’re pretty good at the whole bartending thing. It’s actually kinda cool,” you admitted, glancing over your shoulder to smile over at him.

“I just pour alcohol for the local drunks, but thanks,” Eddie laughed diffidently over the compliment, sliding his metal lunch box closer to get to his baggie of pretzels.

“Is that your dinner?” You ask now, fighting to keep the conversation alive. You’d take talking about pretzels over a lull in conversation.

“Oh uh--” he glanced down at the bag. “I might make something when I get home if I have enough energy.”

“You better. Or I’ll be forced to come over again. Pretzels aren’t dinner.”

“Oh, I see,” Eddie grinned. “Then you can come over and I can make a fool of myself again.”

“It’s okay, I’ll do it too. It’ll balance everything out,” you offered, placing the hot plate on your tray.

“Oh, well there we go. Long as we’re both fools, then it should be okay,” he agreed with feigned seriousness to your proposal then let his smile curl up his lips again.

“Of course,” you matched his endearing expression. “We’re always fools.”

“Always fools…” he tested aloud while leaning back to teeter the metal foldout chair back and forth.

“I concur, Critter.”

“They’re awfully chummy, hm?” Sandy whispered to Ron as she watched you two interact while cleaning up for the night.

“Yeah. I hate it,” Ron grumbled out, scrubbing at a stain. “He better not scare her off. She’s a good waitress.”

“Don’t be like that,” Sandy sighed, nudging her hip into his. “I think it’s sweet. And he’s a good kid, I don’t see him hurting her — let alone enough to cost us an employee.”

“So, we’re definitely keeping her ‘round?”

“Yes, we settled on that this morning — would you quit avoiding the topic?” She urged and Ron groaned as he stretched his back.

“It’s alright, I guess. Jus’ don’t want any drama around here. Too old for it.”

“So, I didn’t scare you off?” Eddie asked as you cleaned off tables together.

“Scare me off?” you repeated, glancing over at him. “Why’d you say that?”

Eddie eyed you through his lashes then looked back down at the same spot he’s wiped down probably six times now.

“Well, you brought up coming over again,” he let out a soft chuckle. “So, I’m guessing I wasn’t that much of an idiot on Wednesday?”

“Oh psh — please,” you laughed it off, standing up straighter after swiping the rag over the tabletop one more time. “If anything, I was being stupid.”

“Oh, I wasn’t saying you weren’t being stupid,” Eddie joked with that obnoxiously gorgeous grin, finally separating from that same table he kept cleaning. He sauntered over to you, his amusement and proximity warming you as he looked down at you. “Just that I was also stupid.”

“I’d say you were especially stupid, but I was trying to be nice,” you shot back in a dulcet tone, grinning up at him.

“Be nice?” Eddie repeated with a huff of disbelief, grinning when that earned him a jab to his side. “Gone soft on me, Critter? Not the same girl that’ll throw a remote at my head?”

“I only did that if you were particularly annoying while I was trying to watch TV,” you laughed, nudging his chest to just barely make him stumble back. Not that it discouraged that man who only smiled brighter.

“Well then, I guess I have an excuse for being such an idiot all the time. You really knocked something loose all those times you hit me with that remote.”

“Sure, it was me that knocked something loose,” you teased in a giggle, making your way over to the last couple of tables. Your laughter only builds up at the face he gives you — both playfully hurt and encouraged to get you back.

Within seconds you noticed the way he started to twist up his rag, and you were squealing and rushing away from him. Eddie chased after you and whipped at you with the towel whenever he got the chance, occasionally jamming his hip into a table or a chair with a breathy “Oof.” Amongst your squeaks of empty fear, you were still cackling and tried to get him back with your own towel.

“Children!” Ron suddenly announced, and you two slowed down to a stop — still breathless and giggly. “I’m old and would like to go to sleep. Maybe finish cleaning before flirting?”

Sandy gave him a look that could kill for that, then followed Eddie’s example and whipped at his behind with a rag.

Both of your faces flushed at the accusation, but thankfully weren’t forced to sit with the embarrassment of being called out by Ron. Instead, all your attention went to cackling over Ron’s tired reaction to his wife snapping a towel at his ass.

He looked genuinely angry for a moment, and then he was clearing his throat and wiping the bar cleaner off his hands and twisting up his own towel.

“Nope — no — Ron,” Sandy started with a warning tone, but she was already laughing, slowly backing away.

“Gotta play fair,” Ron pointed out and whipped at her thigh. That was enough to send Sandy squealing and Ron chased after her to the back room while the two of you leaned into your laughter.

You’d do anything for a love like that.

“Still not a fan of pretzels for dinner?” Eddie chanced a glance over at you with a lazy, half grin as he toyed with his keys and walked you over to your car.

“Definitely not a fan of pretzels for dinner,” you answered, laughing under your breath and nudging his hip with your own.

“It’s a shame cause y’know,” Eddie yawned dramatically as he stretched out his arms and then flopped into the side of your car. “I’m real tired. If someone doesn’t follow through with their offer, that’s for sure all I’ll be having.”

You tilted your head, feeling that post-customer service ache to your cheeks as you fought the urge to smile at this absolute idiot leaning against your car. His elbow was propped up on the roof, his fist supporting his head and squishing his cheek.

“I don’t know if I have the energy to cook right now,” you sighed, doing your best to match his drama. “But you know what?”

“What, Critter?” He hummed, shoving himself away from the car to move a few stray hairs from your face and in that moment, you might as well have melted into the cracked and sun-bleached pavement. “I’m invested. Do go on.”

“I can buy us fast food,” you whispered to provide a surreptitious air to burgers and fries. Screw it. You’ve been good about eating real food. Maybe it was time to associate these meals with something positive for once. Whatever excused your addiction to excessive oil and salt.

“Ah, much better than pretzels,” he laughed, shoving one of his hands into his jacket pocket. “I’d be honored.”

“Just like old times,” him being closer to you to move some hair out of your face encouraged you to toy with one of the pins on his coat. A soft breeze swirled through the parking lot, and you were both reminded of how stuffy and smoke-filled work had been as you breathed the fresh air in. You caught the scent of a distant bonfire, but it was nothing like the cloud of tobacco back in The Hideout. The chill of the air combined with the musk of a faraway fire spoke of Fall, sweetening your already pleasant mood.

“Remember that time we got large pizzas for both of us on movie night?”

“Yeah,” Eddie let out a soft laugh. “You threw up on the carpet.”

“Yeah, and you got in trouble for using your dad’s credit card,” you add a small giggle of your own, just for your heart to sink at the shift in his expression. You shuffled in your spot.

“Sorry… I probably shouldn’t… I shouldn’t keep bringing him up,” you muttered, dropping your hand away from his W.A.S.P. pin.

“No — no, no it’s okay really,” Eddie was quick to reassure you, but your mood was still steadily spoiling and dragging the pit of your stomach down with it at even a glimpse of him being bothered by you. Upset, angry, annoyed, fed up — whatever it was. You were certainly paying the cost of your penchant for nostalgia, and even the aroma of an early October night couldn’t save you.

“I like talking about when we were kids,” he added in a hushed tone that eased your spiral a touch. You glanced up at him through your lashes. “Really. I do. Makes me feel… ah, I don’t know.”

He admitted that last comment with a huff. It was filtered through amusement over his inability to speak before he rolled his lower lip inward in thought. Both of his hands were shoved in his pockets now and he swayed in his spot while kicking a piece of gravel forward. He finally released his lower lip again which was left with a slight sheen to it now, and he settled on a shrug of defeat. He couldn’t think of what he wanted to say.

You stared at him, this impromptu moment of softness burning through you in a way you weren’t expecting. Just as he couldn’t understand exactly why he enjoyed discussing his childhood as long as it was with you — you couldn’t understand the sudden pang of nausea that came from hanging onto his words and just to drop down over a noncommittal shrug. Your anxiety barreled into you in a sudden flash, leaving you somewhere in between the pain and the comfort of clinging to the past with him.

“Makes me feel cared about, I guess. Especially since we haven’t been friends in a while,” he finally concluded. “You don’t have to remember any of that stuff, but you do… it’s nice.”

“We’re always friends,” you insisted with a small smile, doing your best to not let everything fall apart over that once brief change of expression especially since things were looking up again.

“Yeahhh, you’re alright…,” Eddie murmured. “I guess I’ll keep you.”

“Oh, how generous of you,” you snort, attempting to move him to the side so you can get to your car, just for him to reach out a hand to settle on your upper arm. He gently urged you to turn around as he pushed himself off your car again.

“C’mon, I’ll drive. I don’t trust that thing,” Eddie insisted as he kept a careful hold on your elbow while guiding you towards his van.

“What?” you question, looking back at your lonely car. “I’ve had her forever, she’s perfectly safe… I can’t just leave her here.”

“Your brake pads are shit.”

“What?” you ask again with a slight pout and furrowed brows.

“When you visited me the other day,” he started with a light laugh to buffer his confession. “Your car sounded like it was screaming when you were parking.”

You reached his van that had aged gracefully over the years with a mechanic at its beck and call. Eddie unlocked the passenger side door and held it open for you, but you couldn’t stop looking at your car.

“She’s just tired s’all,” you frown, feeling guilty over abandoning an inanimate object no matter how silly it felt.

“She’s just gonna kill you if you don’t replace your brake pads s’all,” Eddie leaned into you with his mocking whisper. Your sad glance up at him is enough to make his playful expression falter. His heavy and dramatic exhale already pulls a smile back onto your face, knowing he was caving in some way or another.

“I’ll bring ‘er to Thach’s and replace them for you,”

“Thank you, Loogie,” you swooned, and he rolled his eyes over your excessively cooing tone.

You were lucky to have favoritism on your side.

“Give it to me straight, doc. Will she make it?”

Eddie glanced over at you with a faux glare.

“How many times are you going to ask me that?”

“I dunno, how many times are you going to squint at me instead of answering?”

“You know I’m doing this for free right? After hours? After already working my second job all night?”

“Ooo, you sound like such an adult,” you squeeze your shoulders up to your ears with a grin, a brown bag stocked with artery-clogging goodness on your lap. He shook his head at you, looking away again to hide his poorly masked amusement. He could say all he wanted about doing this for free, but you could still give him a hard time. He was getting paid whether he wanted it or not. Even if he didn't accept it from you personally, you'd at least leave cash at the front desk and ask the nice receptionist to give it to him.

“Alright, c’mere,” he waved you over eventually. You perked up, moving out of the hard plastic chair in the garage where you left the fast food in your place. “And can you bring that display over? On the table?”

Nodding, you snatched it on your way over to Eddie and kneel beside him.

“Okay so,” he started off with a sigh. Not a great sign.

“Best case scenario, your brake pads look like this,” a greasy index finger points to one of the pads on display before moving to the one next to it. “This is how they’d look with a more moderate amount of wear to them – not great and you'll want to replace them, and then this is how they look when you need to get them replaced ASAP.”

“And this is your brain on drugs,” you chimed in with the theme, before shrinking under the look he gave you.

“Sorry,” you murmured, even though he broke and smiled over your bad joke.

You returned to observing the gradual decline in buffers on the display and shrug a bit.

“Okay, so what about Sherry?”

Eddie groaned as he leaned back to grab the discarded piece of metal and held it up to show you. It looked like a flat, grimy cracker in comparison to the examples on the display.

“They’re practically just the backing plates at this point, I don’t know how you’re not dead,” the piece clinked against the cement floor when he dropped it back down. “How long have they been squealing?”

Eddie’s brow furrowed and he became visibly pained by the way you had to think about it. It wasn’t coming from a patronizing, “how can you be so dumb” kind of place, but rather it stemmed from the anxiety of knowing you were driving around like this.

“I dunno… I noticed a while ago, so I just played my music louder,” you shrugged, and Eddie snorted amidst his distress. He sat up more to lean his back on Sherry. “But then I had to start stomping on the brakes way before I usually would to stop in time.”

“Yeah, that’s generally not a great sign,” he snickered as you started to.

“I’m so sorry, Sherry…” you frowned despite your previous giggling, raising a hand to caress one of her doors. Eddie lifted himself up off the ground with a grunt, heading over to a sink to wash his hands. You crane your neck to follow him, dropping your hand down from your car and start playing with the creeper, rolling it back and forth.

“So, she’ll get some new brake pads and she’ll be as good as new?”

“Well, I don’t want to just replace those, I’ll check out the whole braking system,” Eddie turned to face you completely, wiping the remaining water and suds off his hands. He grabbed the bag you left on the seat and made his way back to you.

“How’d you learn all this stuff?” you asked, thanking him as he handed you your burger before taking a monstrous bite out of his own.

“Uh, my uncle taught me,” he said around his food, sucking a bit of ketchup off the side of his thumb. You noticed the sad glance down to the floor, so you backed off. You didn’t need another moment like earlier when you brought up his dad again.

“I just can’t get over the fact that you’re a grown up…” you murmured to yourself, looking down at your meal. Eddie eyed you as he kept chomping away at his food. The horrid sound that you’ve always despised motivated you to look up at him again, and laughter bloomed from your chest at the sight of the mess around his mouth. His chewing slowed as he blinked his big eyes at you. Gulp.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“You still eat like an obnoxious kid,” you teased, kicking a foot out to nudge him and pull multiple napkins out of the bag for him.

He simply shrugged in response with a cheeky grin, accepting the napkins that he unceremoniously smeared over his lips.

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to be here,” he raised his hands up in defense now, chuckling to himself.

“Yeah, I am…” you murmured, leaning your head back against Sherry as a fond smile formed on your lips while you watched him start to dig through the bag for any stray fries to add to his container. He shoved most of them right into his mouth before glancing at you again.

“What?”

“Nothing… just happy to have my best friend back,” you murmured, and he silently melted at the sincerity. God, did he feel lucky for once.

You take a beat before outstretching your arm to present him with your downturned hand with just your pinky out. Eddie recognized the old gesture and wiped his hand on his pants, despite the napkins at his disposal, before reaching his own hand out. Interlocking pinkies was of course typical of some childish pact which the two of you did plenty of times as kids, but sometimes you sought this out simply for a moment of comfort. It made you feel held and even as kids, Eddie had the emotional maturity to understand how lonely you felt because of your family. So, when you needed someone to hold your pinky, he was there. The only difference was now his pinky was closer to the width of your thumb and nearly swallowed your pinky whole when he wrapped it around yours. Just another adjustment to Eddie being an adult, which left an unlaughed snicker in your chest at the realization, but it comforted you all the same.

And this night in a dingy old garage after a long shift was easily the best night you’d had in years.

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jestersfinaljest · 5 months

Note

Could you write for the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, silly Ace Trappola? Like him falling in love with a male reader who isn’t the prefect and is just a normal student and is totally in denial that he’s gay? (Sorry if that doesn’t make sense)

｡.｡:∞♡*♥ ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ °

‘Okay, I’m man enough to admit when a guy is pretty, I mean, Pomefiore guys have some pretty guys, I am confident in my sexuality to admit that!’ Is what Ace kept telling himself. He had quite literally bumped into a student, just a student from another dorm, just a normal student. A totally normal student who had made his heart pound in his chest. Ever since that encounter, Ace has been out of it, making up excuses in his head, saying things to himself like, “I’m not gay, I can’t be.” or “My heart was beating like that for different reasons!” But deep down, he knew he couldn’t deny it.

The student he had bumped into had very little thoughts about the ‘incident’, sure he thought about it a couple of times, seeing the ginger’s flushed face before he ran off, leaving him slightly confused with a newfound liking. He just stood there after the ginger ran away, questioning a little bit, but nothing he wouldn’t lose sleep over.

Ace, on the other hand, lost tons of sleep, waking up from dreams of kissing or cuddling with the student. 'I don't even know his name! And now I'm having dreams about him??? This is crazy, this didn't even happen with my girlfriend in middle school!!' The more he kept denying that he may have a thing for the student he bumped into, the more the student was on his mind. He had seen him around NRC, just peacefully walking around or chatting with a friend, and every time he did he made a beeline to the opposite direction of him. Now come on, Ace thought he did a good job keeping his little problem under wraps, but it's Ace we're talking about. The ginger got distracted during so many basketball practices that it got the attention of Jamil and Floyd. They didn't bring it up, yet, but time will tell when they would. Deuce and the Prefect had brought it up though.

"I'm just saying, you seem to be pretty distracted lately, we're just concerned is all." The Prefect had told him, Deuce standing next to them nodding full heartily. "Yeah, so what's got you like this? It's weird hanging out with you when you're not so loud and annoying." His arms were crossed over his chest, continuously nodding like he was only saying good things. Grim was too distracted with eating a can of tuna Prefect had bought him from Sam's store to even care what the topic of the conversation was about.

"I'm fine! It's just.." Ace felt hesitant to tell them about the feelings he had so desperately wanted to leave. He wasn't sure how they'd take it, I mean, in an all-boys school? What if they get disgusted by him and think he's weird or gross? These are concerns he'd never think he'd have to think about. "I think I might like the guy I bumped into a week ago, okay??! And I've been stressing with these feelings because I just can't be gay, can I??" Ace felt a weight being lifted off his heart, and then a heavier one dropped down. His heart pounded with anxiety and fear at their reaction.

"Well, why not? Being gay is normal. It's not necessarily a bad thing, you know." Prefect had said something first, shrugging their shoulders. "There's probably a lot of gay people in NRC, I already have a couple of suspicions..." They trailed off, looking away to the side. Deuce, once again, nodded in agreement before stopping himself. "Yeah, that's right--What, uhh, no. Not that last part, uhm, anyway...What me and Prefect mean is that we don't mind who you like because, at the end of the day, you're still our friend!"

A truly lovely and heartwarming scene for Ace, who was given love, support, and confidence to talk to the student! After sorting out his feelings and emotions, he went out and walked around campus for a bit, searching for the student. Around ten minutes passed and he finally found him, sitting on a bench in the courtyard, on his phone. He summoned all of his courage and sat down next to him, his leg starting to bounce out of nervousness. The student had heard someone sit next to him, and by Seven, did Ace feel something when the student clearly brightened up seeing his face.

"Oh, hey! It's you, the guy who bumped into me and then ran away!" He chuckled lightly and turned his head to face Ace, who was feeling extremely jittery and suddenly a bit aware. "Ah, yeah, uhm, I'm sorry about that...I just wanted to apologize for that. I'm Ace Trappola, freshman." The student nodded, "Apologize accepted. [Name]'s the name, also freshmen." Ace felt his heart skip a beat, he finally knew his name. They both stayed silent for a while, too awkward to say anything, maybe.

After a moment or two, one of them finally spoke up, neither of them knew who said it at the time, but one of the two knuckleheads blurted out,

"I think you're pretty cute...!"

Cue matching red faces and a pair of freshmen with no clue what to do now.

______________________________________________________________

a/n: i am so sorry if this is not what you wanted, i usually work better when i have thorough details, since i always want to give the reader exactly what they want so...but thank you for requesting!! this is my first time writing for someone who isnt a friend.

#ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #ace trapolla x male reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland ace trappola #x male reader #twst x reader #twst x male reader

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shinestarhwaa · 6 months

Note

I've noticed the very up-beat and positive, horny prompts you've been receiving lately and I'm here to ruin that with my dark, mysterious and jaded presence.

Can I pls request...

dom!hongjoong+ sex after breakup+ dacryphilia (crying during sex)+ 'please, just give it to me for tonight'

Do your best to shatter my heart, I'm looking forward to it :)

Oh my my my, you and your dark requests...haha jk, I thought this was very interesting so I hope I did well and made you enjoy it sweetie <3

ONE LAST TIME || KIM HONGJOONG

Genre: Smut, Angst

Pairing: Hongjoong x Fem reader

Word Count: 1.5K

Tags/Warnings: soft dom!Hongjoong, dacryphilia, sex after breakup, fingering, unprotected sex

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123

ENJOY!

It had been a rough few weeks on your own. Hongjoong moved out and collected almost all of his stuff. It was wrecking you that things didn't work out between you but him leaving was for the best; right person wrong time as they say.

It was 8PM and he was coming to pick up the last box of his belongings and you were dreading it, wondering if it would be the last time you'd see him. Just as you stood up to just wander around again the doorbell rang. He was here.

You rushed into the hall and opened the door, revealing your ex-boyfriend Hongjoong. He looked annoyingly gorgeous. He dyed his hair brown and he had his selfmade jacket on, the jacket you've worn so many times before. But you never would again.

"Hi," you spoke, opening the door further so he could step in, into his old home. "Hi, Y/N," he said softly. There was a weird kind of tension between you two and it was clear you were both still not okay after your break-up.

"Your hair is brown," you noticed as you fidgeted with the anti-anxiety ring on your finger. The ring he got you for your anxiety a few months ago. Did you have to throw this out now too? His gifts?

"Yeah, yeah it is, I dyed it 2 weeks ago," he nodded, taking off his shoes before walking into the livingroom. You followed him and pointed at the box of his belongings. "That's it, I believe, I checked the house," you stated. Hongjoong looked in the box and nodded. "Yes, that seems about right, thank you."

"If I may ask...," you began, hesistance in your voice, "where do you live now?" "I... I am still sleeping on Seonghwa's couch," he confessed, seemingly embarrassed, "but I'm trying to find my own apartment actually."

Your heart broke a little, wishing you could take him into your arms and take care of him again, but there was no use, your relationship was as dead as a withering flower. It hurt you so much, and you knew that would last for a while. You did not want your relationship with him to be a lesson, you wanted it to be love.

"Do you want some coffee?" You offered after being silent for a while. He hesitated but then nodded and sat on the couch. Maybe it was stupid, taking care and keeping him in your old shared home, just for a little longer, just a little longer before saying goodbye. It was hard saying goodbye to a person you had never imagined to say goodbye to.

You poured coffee into Hongjoong's old mug. It was originally yours, the blue one with graphic lines on it, but when you got a house together it was his standard mug. Some things never change.

Hongjoong smiled and thanked you when you put the mug on the coffeetable in front of him. Was he being genuine? Was he okay? You kept wondering and asking yourself what was good, what was right to do, but you decided to play dumb.

"I can't believe how quickly we went from everything to nothing," he remarked, startling you. Your heart started to beat loudly in your chest as you looked him in his eyes.

"I wouldn't say we went to... nothing," you spoke softly, "feelings don't just disappear just because it didn't work out." Hongjoong nodded. "You're right."

"How have you been?" He asked, brushing a hand through his hair. "Shit," you admitted as you sat next to him. "I don't wanna say it but I do miss you, I miss what we were and I hate sleeping alone."

"Me too," he nodded, "I get cold." You nodded. He used to call you his personal heater when he got cold at night. You weren't anymore.

"I still crave you," you sighed. "You crave me?" He asked, looking into your eyes. "We went from loving every night to nothing... there is nothing I miss more than your body on mine."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you thought of the fact that he'd never touch you again. He'd never make love to you again. What a tragedy. "I miss that too," Hongjoong admitted. You sighed deeply and shook your head. "Stop saying that Joong."

"But it's true... I do miss it... I miss the way your skin felt on mine... the way you sound... the way you clenched when you-" "Don't say it," you stopped him, closing your eyes and biting your lip. "The way you clenched on my cock, when you're cumming," he continued, "the way your breasts bounced when you ride me, the way you looked up at me when you got on your knees for me, the way you got so wet for me when I-"

Hongjoongs' hand slid over your thigh and cupped your crotch, making you shiver and tremble. "When I moaned out your fucking name... Y/N," he spoke in a voice way too sensual for a broken up couple. You shouldn't do this, you knew that, but how could you slap that hand away, when it was making you feel so good between your thighs?

"Please, give it to me, just tonight," you whimpered. "What did you say?" "Use me again, give it to me, one last time, and fuck me, hard and deep, make me yours one last time," you said, tears nearly rolling down your cheeks. Hongjoong nodded as he worked his fingers into your panties as your skirt rode up your thighs. Your cunt was damp from just feeling his fingers, how embarrassing.

His middle- and index finger pumped inside your cunt the way they always did and it was good; so good. Hongjoong made you feel things no one ever could, no lover ever made you cum in this shaky, toecurling way. He knew your body like no one else did and he wouldn't forget it. Never.

"Hongjoong!" You moaned out as you arched your back. You leaned against the soft cushions on the couch that Hongjoong once bought. His fingers moved rapidly and found your g-spot, hitting and massaging it repeatedly as his fingers curled just right.

"That's right baby, cum on my fingers," he smirked as he felt your pussy clench. You hated to admit how fast he made you cum, every time. His body worked magic, you were sure.

You clenched hard and came, came loudly, his name rolling off your lips like a mantra. He took his fingers out of you and licked them off before taking you to the bedroom that you once shared. You both took off your clothes as you shared a heated, messy kiss.

Hongjoong felt the familiar sheets on his naked body when he laid on top of you. It smelled just like it always had, but the picture of you and him in the forest had disappeared.

He pumped his rigid cock a few times before sliding it into your awaiting sex, legs spread for him like always. Hongjoong moaned out your name when he felt your walls welcome him, and he swore he didn't wanna leave. Your hands ran over his back, feeling his soft skin underneath your fingertips.

"Please," you whimpered, begging him to move his cock inside you. Hongjoong listened and rocked his hips into yours, cock sliding in and out of you at a fast pace. Your whines and groans got louder gradually as his thrusts got more rough.

The grip of his hands on your hips nearly hurt, but it hurt so good. The pounding of his cock into your pussy made the most sinful squelching and clapping sounds anyone's ever heard, breath heavy and rough.

You felt tears roll down your cheeks this time, no longer able to hold in your sadness. Hongjoong kept ramming his dick inside you, making you moan loudly for him as the bed shook violently.

"Hongjoong!" You cried, sniffling and holding onto his hovering body. "I got you, I got you," he breathed out, but it was a lie. He didn't have you. He threw you away, even.

Why did you have to choose suffering? Why didn't you send him away? Your heart ached while your body felt so good, and before you knew it you were coming hard, clenching roughly on his cock.

Hongjoong moaned out and came as he felt your body tremble. He rode out your orgasms and pulled out of you, admiring the mess he made on your pussy, just for a little while.

He then stood up and put his clothes back on. You cried in your pillow, not wanting it to end. "Y/N, I..."

"Go, I said ...just tonight... one last time... please... I... just go," you whispered. There was no point in pretending it would ever work. There was no point in him pretending to care.

So you send him off, with an ache in your chest. Maybe you deserved better, a true lifelong lovestory. But you wanted him. What a tragedy.

#kpop #ateez #smut #hongjoong #hongjoong x reader #shinestarhwaa #shinestarhwaa's promptlist❤️

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softlyspector · 1 year

Note

What’s this I hear? Taking requests?! 🥺💕 if you feel inspired, I would love to see this with shy reader if possible

#30: “I can’t talk to cute people, okay? I don’t know how to flirt!”

“I can’t talk to cute people, okay? I don’t know how to flirt!” + Steven Grant x shy!reader

"Well, you could just go talk to him," your friend's voice cuts through the chatter of the museum's cafe. "He probably recognizes you, since you visit so often."

You groan and turn back to your cup of tea, eyes cutting away from man across the room that you have a bit of a hopeless crush on. "Don't say that!"

"Why not? Wouldn't that make it easier?"

You duck your head and cast a glance over at him again. He's serenely flipping through the pages of a book, not paying you any mind. You watch as he sweeps his curls to the side for the umpteenth time. They keep falling into his eyes when he leans over the book.

"No," you answer, turning back to your tea again. "That's incredibly embarrassing actually."

Your friend shakes her head and finishes off the last few sips of her coffee. "Sorry to burst your bubble," she giggles, "But I think he does recognize you. Every time you look away, he looks up." She raises her hand and wiggles her fingers at what you can only presume is the handsome tour guide.

Diving forward, you catch her hand in yours and nearly upset your tea cup. "Do not do that!"

"Too late," she says cheerfully. "I bet when I get up, he comes over to talk to you."

You squeeze her arm, "Do not do that. Do not get up."

"You won't talk to him, and he clearly wants to, so what's the-,"

"I can’t talk to cute people, okay?" You interrupt. "I don’t know how to flirt!” You were introverted, and shy, and new beautiful people terrified you.

She tugs her arm out of your grip and leans across the table. "You'll thank me for this, I promise. He looks really sweet. It'll be okay. Even if you don't flirt." And with that, she stands and walks away.

You're left frozen at the table, wondering if you should bolt after her. Instead, you stare into your now cold cup of tea and vow to never bring your friends to the museum again.

Really, you expect nothing but residual anxiety. There's no way he'll actually come over.

But to your surprise, someone sits down across from you. When you glance up, you see him. The tour guide with thick brown curls swept to the side and big rounded eyes that remind you of a baby cow.

You've listened in on more than one of his tours from a distance, secretly giddy over how lovely his voice was, the kind way he spoke to the groups of children he led around.

None of that eavesdropping could have prepared you for his voice directed to and addressing you.

"Hello," he says, drawing out the end of the word. "I've - erm, hopefully this isn't too forward - I've noticed you around the museum quite a bit -,"

You look away from him, embarrassment prickling at your skin.

Oh, god. You were obvious. He had noticed. You were being weird.

"- and well, I've been quite taken with you."

You glance back up at him. "What?"

"S-Sorry," he starts to apologize. "I don't mean to sound creepy, yeah? You're very beautiful. It's hard not to notice you. That, and you're always around the Egyptology section."

You blink at him, your brain slow to catch up. "I love Egyptology."

"So do I!" He beams at you, eyes crinkling at the edges. People, you think, should not be allowed to look like that.

You smile, finally able to breathe, though scarcely able to believe your luck. "I know."

"Yeah, yeah," he sounds breathless. "'Course. Bit stupid of me."

You shake your head, struggling to form words. "I'm, um, thank you. Thanks. You didn't have to come over to say that."

Your heart is beating a mile a minute, you're sure he must be able to hear it.

"But I very much wanted to," he says. "My name is Steven Grant."

He reaches across the table and offers you his hand. You mutter your name and hastily wipe your sweaty palm on your jeans before placing your hand in his.

"I'd also like to know if you'd go on - if you'd-," you glance up when he stutters to a halt, and find him staring at his reflection in the pastry case across the way. He shakes his head with a fond smile, and turns back to you, "Would you like to go on a date with me? I understand if you'd say no, I am a bloody stranger aren't I-,"

"Yes," you cut him off before you can talk yourself out of it. "Yes. I - I noticed you too," you say, rather bravely.

"Really?"

"Yes," you manage.

You're worried about how to follow that up, but Steven manages for you. Despite his nerves, he seems rather excitable and outgoing. "Which exhibit is your favorite?" He asks.

Its a long while before either of you get up from the table.

#steven grant x you #steven grant x reader

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cat-astro-pick · 4 months

Text

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟐

𝑀𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠, 𝐸𝑧𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟎

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝟎𝟏

It's been about a month since Heartsteel debuted. Nothing had changed. Ezreal called me up without even a hint of trying to care what the fans thought.

I was sitting in my studio, mindlessly taking notes on the score. The clicks of mouse and keyboard and the spinning of my laptop fan filled the room. I wondered how much my new piece would sell for. It was pretty pathetic that something I used to love to do was now just a way to make money.

I thought of a mouse. I remembered a mouse named Geronimo Stilton. With his long snout, sniffing cheese, loving what was around him, and speaking out when he saw injustice. As a child, I emulated him a lot. As the flavor of a clumsy cream cheese cake lingered on the corners of my mouth, I felt soap bubbles spinning around my head. The same mouse who rode in time machines and went on adventures to save fairy tale lands reminds me-

"There's a weird scale here."

"Huh?"

I said in my dumbest voice, with my dumbest expression, and my dumbest words. While I was making a fool of myself, she took the mouse and fixed the scale. I couldn't lie now and say it was intentional. I couldn't control my meltdown emotions. I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. The hand that popped the balloon was like popping my heart.

[Witnessing the debut of 'HEARTSTEEL', a group that will steal your heart at first sight].

[A close-up look at the lives of the HEARTSTEEL members!...]

[Exclusive! Ezreal's...]

I shoved my phone into my pocket. Shoulders ached. And my elbows, which had been crushed by the armrests for so long. My work had slowed down noticeably since everyone had left. I closed my laptop only after I'd made such a mess that efficiency was nowhere to be found. I slowly mulled over the title of the article I'd seen earlier. The more I thought about it, the funnier it became. I was proud of him, and then a nasty feeling of anxiety creeped up and wrapped around me.

I don't think Ezreal would abandon me. If he's the kind of person who would neglect a friend just because he's famous, then there's no reason for him to accept the selfish me that I was even before then, the one who broke promises, spoke harshly, fought with Kayn all the time, and hid in the corner of the room by myself. So I pushed harder. Even then, I was so stupid that I was testing Ezreal's feelings for me, experimenting to see if he'd get angry or not, even when I was wrong. Ezreal was the one who always passed my ridiculous and unfair tests. I, who was relieved to see him and then tested him with increased intensity, contributed nothing to his success. So I shouldn't be the one who is celebrated in Heartsteel's success.

But,

"...You idiot?"

"Why?"

"You're the one who should be celebrated."

"So what?”

“…Seriously?”

When I showed up at Ezreal's studio with the expensive bottle of wine I'd gladly bought, I was greeted by colorful confetti as soon as I opened the door. I was dumbfounded by the confetti covering my shoulders and head. I almost threw my wine bottle on the floor in surprise, but Ezreal didn't care. A pom-pom cone hat trimmed with shiny soft plastic was placed on my head. It was a tacky pink, the kind of color my mom might have put on when she was a young lady. Ezreal's hat was green. I didn't bother to joke that if Ezreal's hair had been a little more bushy and less cared for, it might have felt similar.

It was just the two of us, but it was refreshing in its own way. It was like having fun for the first time in a long time. Even when he was famous, Ezreal loved to spoon-feed the cake. It was fun to have a party with just the two of us, where we didn't have to be formal. In hindsight, I realize that it wasn't just the party that made me happy. There were other external factors beating on my heart. Well, I would call it a simple alcoholic deception.

When I opened the wine, the atmosphere was too quiet. I would have paid more for champagne if I'd known this would happen. The thought of Ezreal watching me open the wine with a spoon full of whipped cream in his mouth was overwhelming. If it was champagne, he'd be covering his ears and videotaping me from afar. Alas, fancy wine glasses don't exist in the workshop. Instead, we brought in two glasses and poured wine into them. It was wine, but we drank it like grape juice. The wine wasn't sweet, but that was okay as the cake was sweet. And there was something even sweeter in between. I'm not the type to get drunk, but I couldn't stop smiling that day. It was like someone was playing timpani and xylophones in my head. In fact, I don't remember much after that.

It was cold on the way home. As soon as I got home, I took off my stuffy walker, laid down on the floor, and laughed like a madman. It swung around and hit my shin, but I didn't even feel the pain. I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there, but my cheeks were hot, red and puffy from the cold wind.

I felt dizzy, precarious, like a piece of paper with a small margin. There were so many things I wanted to do. There were many things I wanted to say. There were many medications I was taking, and many doubts about the things that surrounded me. Walking back from the death wasn't exactly exhilarating. Cold sweat trickled down my muffler. The night view of the city was beautiful. I looked at the night view upside down, like a spider hanging from the ceiling, and saw the fall of the city. Maybe the fall would be mine. These were feelings that would be fine after a bout of tears. I felt like I was losing myself with each person I encountered. So I disliked Ezreal. Maybe I had a crush on him. Or maybe it was love. And so what?

I had done so many terrible things.

I tested him. I craved affection, and when I got it, I walked away. I came back when I ran out of love. I was no great being; I could not give him eternal life by sucking his blood. All I left him with was a terrible scar.

A day of emotion. Days when I can't get them out and they turn into a lump in my throat that burns and flows out of my eyes. On days like that, I had an awful habit of wanting to quit everything. I wanted to give up, but I didn't know what I wanted to give up, and I had no regrets. I just stupidly thought about the font of the name on my tombstone. He and I weren't meant to be. No, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. If God is a transcendent being with proper reason, he should make me miserable.

My pride wouldn't let me accept him. My horrible past wouldn't allow me to accept him. If I was going to spill my guts to Ezreal, it had to be after I'd changed. If not, it had to be when I wasn't me. Maybe I should go back a few years and strangle myself. Yeah. I didn't want to admit it. The moment I admitted it, I would have to deny my existence. Denying an emotion kept me whole, which is why I was afraid of emotions. To admit now that I'd been pouring out those sticky, unpleasant feelings to Ezreal would be like being naked in a clothing store display case. I'd held it in so far; it wasn't that I didn't want him to be famous. Stupidly, with a strange sense of possessiveness, I wanted him to be in my enclosure, but the world outside the egg told me that my illusions were false. Rather, it was I who was stuck inside his cage. The feeling of the world as I knew it expanding excluding me made me uneasy.

I should have kissed him when we were drunk. I'd ask him to forget the past. When this drunkenness was over, I would try to deny these feelings again. Solid feelings that haven't wavered in over a decade aren't going to show up for Ezreal overnight. At least not unless I change on the inside.

#ezreal #heartsteel ezreal #heartsteel x reader #heartsteel #lol #lol heartsteel #league of legends #league of legends x reader #lol x reader #ezreal x reader #lol fanfic #x reader #heart steel

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suugiart · 5 months

Text

So @melatien tagged me with the panel in this image and said the man that's leaving is probably AFO

I completely forgot about this panel because my most recent memories are of the anime, BUT THIS WASN'T IN THE ANIME. THEY LEFT THIS OUT.

You all remember the theory about AFO giving Tomura Decay, right?

I have this nagging feeling now that Tomura was actually quirkless. That's why he was a "late bloomer."

I used to be convinced that this theory was just that. A theory and nothing more. I've considered the fact again that his quirk just... doesn't make sense. You would expect maybe something similar to Nana's floating quirk, not something as random as Decay. This was the only thing I saw giving the theory any traction: the weird occurrence of Tomura getting a decay quirk. That can also be deduced to mutated quirks like Eri's and Tokoyami's (I believe he has human-looking parents. I recall it being mentioned in one of the light novels. Correct me if I'm wrong). But we have this panel showcasing a very tall man wearing a suit and NO TIE, MIGHT I ADD, sending Tomura home. I also feel like it's important to note the heights here. We know AFO is very very tall, coming up to a whopping 7'4 (still nothing compared to Fatgum who stands at 8'2, but this isn't about him), and the average height of a 5 year old boy is about 3'6-3'8, and we can see that Tenko just comes up to this man's hips.

One of my friends said they think AFO was just scouting, which is also completely possible! Again, this is only a theory. But I have a feeling that he already knew about Kotarou. I'm sure he has ways of finding out everything he can about the OFA users (he has a lot of "friends," after all). It probably wouldn't be too hard to learn that a pro hero such as Nana had a family. It makes sense that AFO would specifically target a user's family since he's also shown a bit of a tendency for revenge, given that he KILLS the users instead of only trying to get OFA (more specifically: Yoichi) back. (This can probably be excused pretty easily though, because as of the latest chapter (407) we can see that he also kills for the sake of killing, but I feel like it's different when it comes to the users).

His revenge on Nana was using her son as a vessel for himself when his body eventually grew too weak to continue on. It could easily have been a part of his plan to give Tenko that quirk when he brought him home so that Tenko would eventually kill his entire family by accident, leaving AFO with the perfect opportunity to take him in.

I got stuck for a bit on the itching, because it seems to be an effect of his quirk, and it was happening before his quirk came in. But I think that can easily be deduced to stress or anxiety. Itchiness can be an effect of stress and/or anxiety. Tenko was very stressed and anxious in his living situation because of his father. Having a father who beat and berated him because he didn't have the same ideals (and even had a dream that went against those ideals) obviously would have made him highly stressed, and would have made him feel anxious when at home.

He learned that getting rid of the problem (his father) made the itching go away. Which would make it easier to believe what AFO told him.

AFO took him in and told him that the itchiness is because he has a need to destroy, and that it can only be fixed by destroying.

Now when he is angry, his first resort is murder. When he can't murder someone he's mad at, he gets stressed out because things aren't going his way, which causes the itching to return.

All For One manipulated this child into believing that the ONLY WAY to get rid of that itch is to DESTROY. Considering that this is only a theory, this could still be very true. The itchiness could still easily be a side effect of a mutated quirk that he was simply born with. And because it's initially a quirk for destruction, the itchiness is just a way of telling him to destroy (and theory-wise, I think this still works. Stress caused him to itch, and it ultimately played a part in him murdering Kotarou. The quirk is emotion-driven, so it's possible that because the itch led him to murder, the quirk intensifies the feeling because it triggers his need to destroy).

(I will add that the quirk could still be used for good. He'd make a great rescue hero specialising in evacuation, minus the "must kill or itch will stay" bit.)

This is such a horrific revenge, which is why I think AFO would totally do something like this. He's a manipulative, vengeful, possessive man. He gave Tomura the quirk, manipulated him into believing that his problems could only be solved through murder. He did this as revenge on Nana for keeping his "thing" (Yoichi) away from him.

I'm excited to see if anything comes of this theory. I'm down for any possibility, whether it be that AFO was scouting, had a chance meeting with Tomura, or this theory. I just saw that panel and got excited when I remembered this theory, and I really wanted to talk about my thoughts on how the theory could make sense.

Anyway, this was longer than I expected it to be, so here's a cookie for your troubles 🍪

#tomura quirk theory #my hero academia #suugiart talks #shigaraki tomura #shimura tenko #crusty ass #afo #fat cosplay #mha 235 #shimura nana #mha theories #mha 236 #mha 237 #mha 407 spoilers #shimura Kotarou

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mercurialsmile · 1 month

Text

You know, I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm just. Burned out.

I don't think I'm depressed per se, because even tho I do have low energy it doesn't come with the numbness and lack of interest in anything that my depression usually comes with. I think I'm just burned out and tired. Which is weird because I feel I have not done that much lately.

Sure I work. Do chores. Cook. Try and work on my WIPs and such. But all of that just seems to take so much out of me too.

I've always been incredibly critical of myself. I get it from my family, mainly my mom. She does not mean to be so critical, and in recent years it is something she has gotten better at. But unfortunately, I've picked up the habit myself. I don't mean to be critical of others or judge them. But as critical as I can be to others, I am much harder on myself.

I've had many people throughout the years; from friends to family to teachers to coworkers and even two therapists I've had tell me I am too hard on myself. I use to always fire back "No, I'm not hard on myself enough. It's why I have no discipline, cannot finish any of my projects and goals, and am lazy."

But I'm starting to think they're right. For years upon years I've beaten myself up over any perceived rest. If I am not working on something, then I'm failing. I have to work. Whether its at my job, working out, on my WIPs, just something.

And I do get joy from being productive. But in turn, when I do need rest I get critical of myself. And force myself to be productive. And when I fail at the perfectionism I want to achieve, the effect compounds further.

Last year, I started working on my tendency to worry and stress myself out. And it really has helped my anxiety in turn. But now I think I want to work on how critical I am of myself.

I want to rest without feeling the need to "earn it" or without beating myself up about it. 2024 has been so difficult for me. So much has happened and its one week into March. Of course I cannot focus on writing. Of course I'm struggling with the live service games I play and doing chores and cooking and the like. Mentally and emotionally I am drained. And I need to rest.

An actual rest. Not a rest where I hate myself and beret myself for it.

It's going to be hard, but I am. Going to do my best.

#shutuplanx #about me #personal #long post

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jaidens · 9 months

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You Sit In Class Next To A Red-Head Named Abigail And Soon Enough You're Best Friends

pairing [s] : cherry valence x fem!reader

warning [s] : | im in love with her | she's my girl crush | kissing teehee | CHERRY LVRS UNITE PLEASE

a/n [s] : requests are open.

Sherri Valence is your best friend. You've known her since elementary school. Whenever her hair was braided everyday with bows at the end. She played with you every single day, and she stayed with your best friend in middle school. You and her had grown up, her red-hair down to the middle of her back. You thought she was completely beautiful, when she walked down the football field on Bob Sheldon's arm with a pretty dress and her hair curled up.

Then, it hit high school and you begin to see her in a different light. Suddenly, it changed from daydreaming about what stores you would go to whenever you went to the mall with Cherry after school, to how the taste of her lips would be. It was confusing inside, wondering why you were thinking of your best friend in a way that was disgraced by the people in your neighborhood. Cherry was spending more time with you alone, taking your hand for a little longer than dragging you through the hallway.

Cherry invites you to the drive-in movie theater. It's late November evening, the trees are bare and cover the screen in some ways, but everything is perfect. You and Cherry are sharing chocolate chip cookies that she made just for this. As well as juicy and cold cherries you were sharing, watching her lips turn a soft red.

She had been much more different than usual; keeping her sentences short at all times or her eyes falling from yours to not look at you. That was the night she stopped her car at the local park that many teens and young adults chose to spend their nights there. It's a soft, moon lit night as you look over at her.

The radio is playing the Beatles as she looks over at you. Your name falls from her lips as she captures your attention. “Yes, Cherry?” Her dark-brown eyes look into yours as she messes with the rings on her fingers. “Can I— can I tell you something? You have to promise not to tell anyone else about it.” She whispers softly, hands running down her skirt. You nod and set your hand on hers, rubbing softly across her knuckles.

“I haven't been able to find the words to tell you,” You swear you can feel your heart beating out of your chest. Cherry takes shallow and shaky breaths in as she stares deeper in your eyes. “I think I'm in love with you. You make me feel so.. amazing. Better than anything Bob could've given me at all.” Your eyes widen as her words touch your ears. She's giving you an uncomfortable smile, waiting for the news to hit you.

“I understand if you don't feel the same.” Her words are a dangerous mix of hopefulness and are anxiety ridden. Her eyes well up with tears, them becoming glossy with feelings. Then, she continued pushing out her feelings. “Every time I need anything, you're there for me. More than I've ever been for you. I cherish every day we've had together, and the days we've missed because all I did was think about you.” It's vulnerable for Cherry to let herself in this position. She's held up a wall, only letting a few certain people through.

It's a weird silence. You can't find the correct words to say to her. The grip you have on her hand connects your souls through everything. “You mean everything to me. Please say something. Please.” She begs as she blinks a tear from her eye and it falls from her face. “Cherry.” You say her name to capture her attention this time, putting your other hand into hers. Your lips fall to her knuckles and you give a soft kiss to them.

“You mean the world to me too. I think if I lost you, I would chase you for everything. You're my partner in crime, my rock, my salvation. I love you too.” The words weren't crazy for you. You and Cherry were close enough to bring out the four letter words with each other. You lean further in, closer to her.

Cherry’s eyes are closer to your vision and you can successfully see the globs of honey-brown in her dark eyes. Her hair blows in the cold wind where it hasn't been clipped down. Your hand goes to lie on the back of her neck, and she leans in closer as well. You weren't one for hesitation but whatever was happening was causing you to freeze where you were.

Then, it begins. You lean in at the same time as her, and kiss her gently. She tastes like cherries and coke as you envelope her lips in between yours again. You hold her hand before you pull her closer and your hand runs through her soft hair. You and her pull away and she looks absolutely gorgeous. Her mascara is slightly messed up after crying, but her lipstick is messed up for a different reason. “You look gorgeous.” You tell her and her cheeks turn a light pink color.

“Thank you. I love you.” Cherry says and kisses you once more. You fall into the comfortable hold on her arms, her perfume wafting into senses. It's relaxing now that you feel as if a weight has been taken off of your heart and shoulders that now you've confessed.

#cherry valence #Sherri Valence #cherry valence x reader #cherry valence x female!reader #cherry valence x fem!reader #the outsiders 1983 #cherry the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #cherry valence fluff

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fire-emblem-drabbles · 2 years

Text

Pairing: Yandere! Risotto x reader

Prompt: I had an idea and was horny about it, sorry

Description: Lately, you've been plagued by a stalker. Nothing extreme had happened and you likely wouldn't even know if they didn't drop gifts by your place ever so often. Your pile had been growing and with it, your anxiety; your roommates decide that you need something to distract you from these happenings and take you drinking. However, they promptly become more interested than each other than you. Perhaps you're lucky then, that a handsome stranger wants your attention...

Rating: not sfw

Content Warning: stalking, drinking, female reader, may have use of she/her, virgin reader, uhh cunnilingus, unprotected sex, threatens of kidnapping, ask to tag

Word Count:11828

Notes: boy howdy has this idea been haunting me for months! I've been quite literally plagued by the naughty portions for this because I swear like I man possessed the first 5000 words flew out of me and then radio silence for months when I even consider writing the word dick.

I’m free from the curse that is this fic holy fucking shit i never thought I would write so much when I first thought it up. Hope you guys like it ahahah

“I’m just not too sure about this guys…” You frown softly, tugging gently at you clothing. It wasn’t even anything fancy-- in fact it was a skirt you loved and had worn hundreds of times before. But in this situation it felt revealing, like your legs and chest were there for the world to marvel at.

“I’ve seen you wear that to work--At the bar! You wear that to the bar you work at.” Your friend explains, huffing as he moves past you. “What’s wrong with it at a different bar?”

“Well I mean….” You don’t really have a good excuse, so you falter. “I mean, nothing I guess… I just feel weird going out to a bar to like, to drink and socialize. When I host at work its like… you know, that’s not me. That’s the spirit of customer service taking over my body for 7 hours.” You explain, laughing a little as it leaves your mouth.

“Yeah, okay.” His boyfriend scoffs, pulling their flannel over their shoulders. “You’re overthinking again, ____.” They put a hand on your shoulder and give you a familiar smile. “We want to have fun tonight, relax a little. What with recent events…” Their boyfriend interrupts.

“Hey, we said we wouldn’t bring that up tonight.” He wears a frown, brushing overgrown bangs out of his face as he glares down at his smaller significant other.

“It’s okay.” You smile to try to convince the couple. “I mean, ignoring it won’t make it go away. We all know I have a stalker…” You sigh, shaking your head.

Your latest gift, from last night, sat tucked away in a corner with all the rest of your gifts-- flowers that you adored, candy you enjoyed, manga you had wanted to read. You felt too guilty to throw it away, knowing someone had gone out of their way to get it just for you but at the same time, there was no one in your life (sans the couple in front of you) that would really know all this.

“Yeah but we really didn’t want to remind you tonight.” They sigh, shaking their head. “You’ve never been out like this before, we wanted to make it special.” They smile again, mustache raising with their toothy grin. “So, at least for tonight, we can forget about it.” You smile once again at your roommates, shaking your head at how earnest they sounded.

“I think you two are taking this too seriously, we’re just gonna get some drinks and come back here to play games or whatever.” You remark, grabbing your purse as the three of you pile out of your room and into the entry way.

“Maybe, but still. Try to have fun.” You just stick your tongue out at your taller friend, letting him and his boyfriend lead the way out the door and to the car. Even as you filed in to the beat up car and joked with them, nerves still danced in your stomach.

Was this really a good idea…? You didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself or anything. What if you got too drunk and did something embarrassing? What if some creepy dudes tried hitting on you, would you be able to scare them away? Even worse, what if your stalker followed you there? Would you even know it was him? What if he tried something?

“Hello? Hey, you there _____?” Your friend looks back from the passenger seat, worry written in on his features.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorta.” You mumble out. It must have been a good 15 minutes you were stuck in your head-- you could see the place your roommates had told you about just ahead.

“Good, because its time to get your drink on!” You can only shake your head at your friend, their enthusiasm helping cool your nerves a bit.

The three of you step out of the car, all laughs and happiness as you step into the bar. Honestly, its not what you had made it out to be in your head; the place is small but not so much so that things are cramped. Its comforting in here in a way, the pool table and the dart board sitting in the far corner making things seem far less serious that you had hyped the place up to be. The bar top its self is sparsely seated, and the few booths and tables that litter the place are quite empty too. Suffice to say, not many people are trying to get wasted this Tuesday night; just you and your friends, bringing a bit of new life into the place.

As the three of you sit down and order some shots to begin the evening, you finally feel yourself begin to relax. Even if you are the youngest ones here tonight, you don’t feel judged for it. Everyone is minding their business, leaving the three of you to yourselves in the corner to start your evening of fun.

For Risotto, however, this night just got interesting.

Just last night, he had finished his most recent hit and with it, once again left a gift outside your window. Tonight, he had simply planned to relax as he thought through what to do next. You coming here wasn’t something he expected-- this was his usual spot, after all, close enough to your home to not arise suspicion but just far enough that not even his teammates questioned it as he headed this way.

He couldn’t help but stare as you walked in with your roommates, trailing behind them slowly and taking in the sights of the bar before you. He was surprised you didn’t feel his gaze on you, but he was on the other side of the bar. It was obvious you were out of your comfort zone but you did your best not to show it.

You always did put others comforts before your own.

Eventually, the three of you did find a seat, one parallel to him at that, but somehow you still didn’t notice him. It was both a blessing and a curse, being this close to you but still unnoticed. Risotto supposed, he would have reason to stick around longer if you were here.

He couldn’t have anything bad happening to you, after all, and whose to say what will happen now that you were here?

“Okay but like, have you seen the new art for the characters?” You spoke to your friend who sat across from you, drink in one hand and phone in the other, facing him so he might see the art.

“I mean, it’s good but like I don’t get why you like him.” He shrugs. “Like, I know he’s your man and all but ehh.”

“I take you two out and you start talking about gacha games?” Your other friend rolls their eyes.

“I mean, yeah.” You respond. You were feeling much better at this point, slightly buzzed but your friend, the light weight of the group, was feeling it far more.

“Aww, are you sad I’m not paying attention to you babe?” He turns to his boyfriend, making a kissy face.

“I mean, I wasn’t, but I won’t say no now--” You politely turn away as the two move to kiss one another. Very quickly, you realize this is devolving quickly, your drunk friend all too happy to indulge in his significant other.

“I’m uhh, gonna go to the rest room.” You make a hasty exit from you shared table, taking your time as you head towards the general direction of the bathroom. As you head that way, you pass by a lone man at another booth. You catch his gaze you pass (you’ve never seen eyes like his, and it captivates you a moment) before you remember your manners and give him a small smile and nod, moving just a little bit faster to the bathroom.

As you finish, you stare at yourself in the mirror a moment, taking a deep breath before smiling at your reflection. “It’s fine _____, don’t worry. You’re gonna walk out there and he’ll just be blabbering away like he usually does…” But as you toss your paper towel and make your exit, you see your friends have not separated from one another, but have in fact gotten ever closer in the small space of the booth. “Oh, eww.” You say as you lean again the end of the bar. The bartender snorts as he glances over at them.

“Friends of yours?” he remarks.

“Yeah…” You sigh, shaking your head. “So much for hanging out tonight.” You take a look at your phone, noticing the time and how your buzz was quickly dying.

“Here.” The bartender slides a drink your way-- one you had wanted to try but it was just out of your price range.

“Oh, um, I didn’t--” You try to explain.

“Don’t worry about it.” The bartender dismisses you with a wave of his hand. “The guy over there covered it.” He points to the man you had locked eyes with just minutes before. He’s looking at the two of you, an unreadable smile on his face.

“O-oh.” You cradle it with two hands, still watching as he turns to face the proper way, looking away from you. “Do you um… know much about him? Like…” You aren’t sure what you should be asking.

“Not really. He’s here nearly as often as I am though.” He huffs. “Tips nice, but I’ve never seen him do anything like this.”

“I see.” You nod slowly, bringing the drink to your lips and taking a sip of the sweet cocktail. With one last glace towards your preoccupied friends you shake your head. Fuck it, you were supposed to have fun tonight, right? They sure were, and what harm was one conversation with a handsome stranger?

With that in mind, you make your way over to him, steps unsure as you focus on not spilling your drink.

“Um,” As you speak, his red gaze turns to you, and it only causes more foolishness to spill from your lips. “Did you uh, was it you that bought this for me?” you stutter and look away from him as you speak, wanting to throttle yourself for how dumb that sounded.

“I did.” His words are solid and smooth in comparison. His deep voices matches the intensity of his gaze.

“Thank you.” You laugh a little awkwardly, tugging at the length of your skirt. “I really wanted to try this one.” You admit rather awkwardly, laughing. “How did you know?”

“You seem like the sweet type, bella.” The more he speaks the more you’re tempted to listen. His words, his way of speaking, his eyes and smile, they create this fuzzy little ball in your stomach; not dissimilar to the nerves you felt earlier in the evening but for some reason, you want more of this.

“Why don’t you sit down?” You can’t see the desperation in his gaze as he gestures to the seat next to him. All you see is a nice stranger, and how could you say no after he was so kind to buy you this drink?

“Well… only for a little bit.” You gently sit next to him, turned slightly towards him to talk better. The booth is already small, so your knees touch-- though perhaps its because you misjudged just how large this man is. Standing beside him, he seemed average but seated next to him now you realize just how much he dwarfs you.

“Oh, wow.” The words spill out of your mouth before you could think twice to stop them, alcohol weakening your already thin filter. You blush and curse. “Shit, uh sorry.” You glace back to your roommates, still in their own little world and look back to him once before settling in your drink. “You’re just… um, well, big.”

You want to die. Why did you just say that? You take a big swig of your cocktail, the sweetness hiding how much this would probably fuck you up in a bit. “Oh my god I really just said that.” You groan out. You weren’t even trying to flirt with him and you messed up.

“Don’t worry about it, I think it’s cute.” His words have you blushing a whole new shade of red. Just to reinforce your words, he offers you one of his hands to get a look at just how big he is. Curiosity gets the best of you, and you take one of his single large hands into both of yours.

“Wow,” You repeat again, because you can’t find any other words to say and really out of all the ways you saw this going, this was not one of them. “How tall are you?” Risotto can hardly remember the number, the euphoria of you touching him (of your own violation, with all the wonder of a child) clouding his mind.

“About… 6’5”,” He mumbles, gently closing his hand over one of yours. He delights in the color on your cheeks.

“Risotto—Risotto Nero.” He’s near breathless as he looks at you. You don’t seem to notice as you test his name on pretty lips.

“Oh my god.” You gently tug your hand back to you, and though Risotto wanted to hold you longer, he relents. “I haven’t even asked your name.” You look mortified-- it’s adorable.

After this, Risotto knows he won’t be stated. A single taste of you, innocent, darling, sweet you, has him greedy for more.

“Risotto…” You hum. “I’m _____.” You giggle again. Oh sweetheart, if only you knew. With another swig of your drink, you find it empty.

“_____,” The way he says your name has a shiver run though you. It falls off his lips so familiar, you would think he’s said it a million times before.

“So um…” You swirl the cordial cherry in the bottom of your cup, the sheer amount of alcohol you just drank catching up with you. “Why… did you buy me this drink, Risotto?” Brave is not something you’d call yourself but in this moment you are curious-- after all, what’s a mysterious man want with well… normal little you?

“To be honest…” He paused a moment, catching your pretty gaze (though thick lashes) as you look up at him. “I wanted your attention all to myself, tesoro. Ever since I saw you, I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off of you.” Not one bit of that was a lie-- it’s just a shame you didn’t realize Risotto had met you far before this faithful night.

“You’re teasing!” You gasp, hand moving to grasp his knee. The waitress comes by to replace your drinks, though you probably didn’t even notice yours emptied in the first place.

“Teasing?” Risotto contemplates. He’s drunk on an entirely different feeling than the alcohol. “Oh bella, I haven’t even began.” Once again that feeling in your stomach flares. You think your beginning to understand why your roommates were ignoring you…

“S-stop!” Even as you push off him, you’re giggling, taking another drink of the cocktail sitting innocently next to you. “How can you be so… forward?” It’s a real question-- no one has ever been so openly into you. It’s a lot to take in, even if the positive attention is nice… It’s a lot.

“You make it easy.” Rather, knowing most everything about you did… “I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if I let you get away from me.”

The dark meaning behind his words doesn’t even phase you as you allow him to pull you closer to him. Never in his wildest dreams did Risotto think you would reciprocate his feelings so easily. Perhaps, there was a reason your friends hadn’t taken you out sooner… He’s loathe to think of any other person sweetening up to you so easily.

“Hey now…” An ounce of self preservation flows throw you for just a moment. Your gaze pulls from his as you glance over to your roommates. Surprisingly, they’re looking at you now-- grinning cheekily and giving you big thumbs up. You quickly turn back to Risotto at that, and he can’t help but laugh.

“Seems I have their blessing as well.” He’s still smiling as you look up at him with a furrowed brow and the cutest pout on your lips.

“Shut up…” You mumble, taking another drink. Your head was getting a little fuzzy but you huff all the same. “They’re just tired of me complaining about being single.” Oh, how hard it was for Risotto to play dumb.

“I’m sure they just want you to have fun.” He reassures you. You don’t bat an eye as he fully slides you next to him; you welcome his weight, laying against his frame and allowing his arm around your waist.

“Yeah well, they should have thought of that before they got so busy with one another.” You huff again, looking again at how close they are to one another. You aren’t even sure why its bothering you now. But how dare they ignore you like that!

You snuggle closer to Risotto, glad for his warmth. He was comforting, in a way. You could almost see yourself getting that close with Risotto… But you decide on something else.

“I should play a trick on them.” You announce.

“Oh?” Is all Risotto says, mostly distracted by your delicate fingers drawing absentminded designs along his upper thigh.

“Yeah. In fact, lets leave now while they’re distracted-- when they realize I’m gone they’ll both be sooo worried!” You giggle, as if you plan is genius. Risotto couldn’t believe his luck. You were pretty much asking to go home with him at this point-- who was he to say no?

“Are… you okay with that?” You looked up at him with that adorable shyness in your voice again, eyes glittering.

“Anything you want.” With that, things happened so quickly-- Risotto payed off his tab and the two of you stood. He was far more sober than you (having stopped drinking the moment you sat with him) and was more than happy to support you out the door and to his car.

It all felt surreal as the two of you walked out together, you giggling and stumbling as you clung to him. Even as he sat you in his passenger seat and carefully buckled you in, it felt surreal.

“Ooo, where are we going?” You asked as he began driving. Risotto knew you to be naive but… surely you knew by now.

“My place.” He answered simply. With that you went quiet a moment, thinking. Were you realizing what you had gotten yourself into? Perhaps…

“I haven’t been to this part of town before…” You hum, a little more put together than the minute before.

Risotto would never force himself on you, never make you do anything you don’t want. When you arrived at his place, what happened there would be entirely up to you. Just having you in his space, however, willingly, was enough to drive him insane. It would be hard to keep himself together but for you, he could do it…

All too soon for you, the two of you arrived at his place. It was modest, a small home that didn’t really stand out from the others around it. Still, gentleman he was, Risotto helped you inside his house.

You were gently urged to sit on his sofa as he left to go to another room—the kitchen, you supposed, by the sound of a faucet running. You took in the sights around you, surprised to find how… homey it felt in here.

In fact, the place didn’t seem like it would belong to him; it felt like your grandmothers house, all comforting clutter and decorations from before you were born. Despite being unfamiliar it brought a sense of ease over you. Soon enough, Risotto returned, a glass of water held out to you.

“Oh, thank you.” You took a drink, surprised at how parched you were. How much did you drink at the bar? “Honestly, I’m not sure what I expected.” You laugh, however the sound comes out flat. “Thank you for taking care of me.” You place the water down on a side table and sigh. “I’m sorry if um, this isn’t what you thought it would be.” You laugh a little bitterly at that.

“Don’t worry.” Risotto takes a seat beside you, a comfortable distance between the two of you. You find yourself missing his warmth, the empty house not quite warm enough for your taste. “I want you to be comfortable.” You smile at him.

“You really are sweet.” You laugh again, looking to the blank screen of his tv. “You’ve probably guessed by now, but I’m not really the type of person that goes out or does anything like this.” You shake your head, making sure to take another drink of the water given to you so you can better clear your head. You would definitely have a nasty hangover in the morning but this helped ever so slightly.

“I mean… shoot, I think it’s been actual years since I even kissed someone.” You mused. This was news to Risotto-- you had only moved to the city a couple of years ago to his knowledge, and while here he hadn’t really see you attempt to date anyone.

“Saving yourself for someone special?” He asks, part teasing and part curious. He would gladly be that someone special, after all…

“Well… sorta?” That familiar color paints your cheeks. “I shouldn’t dump this on you, especially since we just met…” You sigh and give him a side glace. Risotto places a gentle hand on your knee and gives you a small smile.

It makes you feel special.

He doesn’t seem like the type to smile too often, so you cherish the look. “I’m just bad at meeting people really. Even here with you now I’m like, kind of amazed? Like I know I’m at your house and everything but I can’t seem to process that you’re into me-- like, attracted to me.” Risotto could laugh at the irony. The depths of his adoration for you went far deeper than that but it was charming all the same to know how easily you were flustered.

“Would you mind if I proved it to you then?” The hand he had rested comfortingly on your knee moved to your shoulder, gently turning you to face him. Risotto moves ever so closer to you looking into your wide eyes.

“...Prove it?” You say quietly in disbelief. You haven’t pulled away from him yet; Risotto still moves slowly, giving you plenty of time and space to move away if you didn’t want this. But you remain frozen, allowing him to tilt his head and meet his lips to yours.

Its nothing serious, a chaste press of his own chapped lips against your soft ones. Far more quickly than he had kissed you, he pulls back, red eyes studying your features for your reaction.

“Was that okay?” He asks softly, free hand bravely coming to up to cup and stroke your right cheek.

“U-um,” You stutter, finding it difficult to keep his gaze or speak. Your heart is beating far too fast and you find it hard to speak, words unable to pass your lips as your mind works a mile a minute.

Risotto, this attractive, sweet and mysterious man, kissed you? He brought you to his house? He really wanted-- you couldn’t even dare to think about it. “Yeah, I uh, I liked that.” A shy smile makes way to your lips as you look into his eyes.

“I’m happy.” Again, he smiles, taking your breath away. “Would you like to continue?” You’re silent a moment, cheeks heating up. Risotto is quick to speak again. “The moment you want to stop tesoro, we stop. Your comfort is my top priority.”

“How did I get so lucky to meet someone as patient as you?” You whisper, mostly to yourself. For Risotto, even getting this far with you is more than he ever expected from tonight; it would be foolish for him to continue to push his luck when he had you so willing and cute in his arms.

“Um… I think that would be okay. A-as long as we continue to take it slow.” You have the cutest pout on you lips as you break from his gaze. Red paints the tips of your ears now and you frankly can’t remember the last time you felt so embarrassed. At the same time you felt… good. You didn’t want to stop, even if there was a nagging part of your mind that warned you how dumb and dangerous what you were doing was.

“Of course, whatever you like.” Gently, Risotto moves his hand from your cheek to your hip, pulling you even closer to him. You’re still a little awkward as your hands find way around his neck.

“Like… this?” Your words are the gentlest whisper against his lips, eyes hooded as the short distance between the two of you plays with your mind.

“...Perfect.” Risotto’s words are more a groan as he closes the distance between the two of you, slanting his lips again yours. As you move against him, soft lips tentative and curious against his own, Risotto decides he can die happy now.

But of course, he couldn’t help but be greedy.

All too quickly the sweet kiss grows more intense; you grow more bold and wrap your arms around him tighter. Risotto quickly finds you more than willing, his tongue sliding into your mouth easily. Of course, you let him take control but he still can’t help but groan at how easily you submit to him. You’re already better than he’s imagined; Risotto knows after tonight he’ll have trouble letting you go.

You moan out in surprise as he pulls you on to his large lap. He can’t get enough of you as he pulls away from you, lips trailing down to kiss the open expanse of your neck and chest. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders as he kisses and nibbles his way to finding the spot that makes you moan out once again. He sets about loving on that spot, sucking and nibbling into making a rosy mark on the underside of your jaw. He couldn’t resist the urge to mark you knowing at least for a few days, it would stay on you.

“D-did you just leave a hickey?” Your voice is breathless but has an undeniable edge to it. “Oh my gosh…!” Risotto can only chuckle as one of your hands reaches up to rub at the irritated skin.

“I promise I’ll make it better bella,” Risotto lifts his head back up to capture your lips once more, cutting off any complaint you may have had.

You shift around in his lap in just a way that you can feel his growing length straining against his pants. It sends a shock of panic though you; not that you also weren’t incredibly horny after all those drinks, but because you’ve never gotten this far with anyone. Its terrifying in the best and worst ways; you can’t tell if you want more or to push it all away. Despite your internal struggle you still find yourself welcoming Risotto’s every action-- its so hard to say no when it feels so right. You manage to pull away and speak.

“W-whoa,” You barely get the word out as you squeeze Risotto’s shoulders. He pulls back, dark eyes hooded as he takes a deep breath. “I, I um…” You aren’t entirely sure what you’re trying to say, dizzy from all the different feelings hitting you at once. Its hard to meet his gaze even as you take your own deep breath, willing yourself to just breathe and focus on what you’re trying to say.

“You really—!” Your words are cut off as you gasp suddenly. Risotto has returned to the spot where he left the hickey before, nipping and kissing the skin before he speaks again.

“_____….” The deep and breathy way he says your name, looking up from your chest as he does so plays funny in your gut. “You really have no clue how much I want this, do you?” You blush again as he raises his head again. “Bella…” A heavy breath passes through his nostrils. He keeps his eyes closed a moment, as if fighting something within himself. After a short pause, he open’s crimson eyes again, looking at you more seriously than the moment before.

“If we continue like this,” Risotto pauses, a strange look passing through his features before he sighs. “I may not be able to hold myself back.” Your heart hammers in your chest at his words. Your mind is reeling at the possibilities, the true meaning behind his words.

“Shit…” You take your own deep breath. “That’s kinda hot…” You bite your lip a moment, For a moment, you consider the future, and how you might feel about this situation in the morning. Sure, Risotto was gorgeous, charming and obviously into you. But… was this how you wanted to lose your virginity? Half drunk, at a beautiful strangers house?

“We… we should stop, though.” As you move to get off Risotto’s lap, he doesn’t stop you, letting you slide off to sit beside him. You scoot away from him a little and sigh. “I-I’m sorry, you probably took me here because you wanted something more but I…” You shake your head.

“It’s okay.” Even as he says the words, you can tell Risotto is still hot and bothered. You’re reminded of the reason rational thought returned to you and dare a peek at his crotch. Yeah, no, it probably wasn’t okay but he was just a cool dude. “You said yourself you don’t really do this sort of thing.” Risotto swallows heavy, the taste of you lingering on his lips.

He would do anything to keep you here. Spend as much time with you as he could. Anything to keep you comfortable and happy with him.

“It’s not only that…” You sigh, shake your head. “I… have this problem. A stalker.” You frown, trying your best to explain this delicately. Risotto does his best to look concerned. “I’d hate for something to happen to you because I stupidly decided to go home with you.” Oh, darling, if only you knew.

“I can take care of myself.” Risotto huffs, sitting up properly. “...Are you letting something like that keep you from having a good time?” He looks to you, contemplative and frowning.

“Well…” You sigh again. It brings mixed feelings about Risotto, knowing that him showing his affection for you was causing such sadness. “He hasn’t done anything mean or harmful as far as I know. I just worry.” You meet his gaze. Seeing him frown, you try to give him a smile.

“Sorry, sorry, it was wrong of me to dump that on you.” You shake your head. “M-maybe I should just go…” You move to stand but Risotto places a hand on your arm. He’s gentle, urging you to look at him.

“Wait.” His eyes look near pleading. It’s a look that strikes you in an odd way, stilling your movements for a moment. “...Would you let me take care of you tesoro?” The hand that rested on your arm moves down slowly, resting on your thigh where your skirt has risen up.

“...Take care of me?” You echo his words, tone more innocent than his. You let his fingers wander under the fabric of your skirt, unfamiliar patterns causing heat and goosebumps to come to you. “B-but I don’t know if I’m comfortable doing anything to you…” You admit aloud, face red as you look away from both his face and how he teased the skin of your thigh.

“I don’t mind.” Risotto grows a little bolder, once again closing the distance between you. You allow him to grab your cheek to turn to face him. He’s more serious than he’s been the entire night and that only serves to make you blush more as he speaks. “I want to make you feel good.” The urge to hide once again hits you but Risotto grips your face just smidge harder.

Finding that you can’t turn away from him you instead close your eyes to will your beating heart down, to find the words to speak past your nerves. “You’ve really done some crazy things to my heart tonight, you know?” You laugh a little, and dare to open your eyes. As you suspected, Risotto is still looking at you, with a small look of hope in his eyes.

“I just have to ask…” You pause a moment, taking a deep breath. “You’re… so pretty, so confident. I feel like there would be any number of people more than willing and ready to be your partner. Why… why me when I’m so… so…” Again you close your eyes and shake your head.

“Didn’t I tell you before? You’ve captivated me since I laid my eyes on you.” You vaguely recall the words through the haze alcohol but repeated here they have the same effect.

“I should probably stop worrying about it, then.” You laugh a little. You’re all the sudden reminded of his hand crawling up your inner thigh. His hand’s are warm, like fire running up you in all your sensitivity. “Then… I guess it would be okay…” You catch a glimpse of a wicked grin on Risotto’s face before he slinks to the floor.

“You won’t regret this.” His voice has that now familiar sultry tone.

All you can do is watch as he slots his large shoulders between your knees. He makes for quite the sight below you, with large hands spreading your knees and red eyes watching your face keenly. His touch has you trembling, not in fear, but trepidation. Risotto takes notice and pauses.

“You okay?” You give a shaky nod in response.

“Yeah, I just um, nervous is all.” A giggle leaves you despite this; Risotto is simply running his hands along your inner thighs. Still, seeing the sound leave you he smiles.

“I’ll take good care of you, I promise.” Your heart flutters at his words. Even though you know you’ve gone home with a stranger you can’t help but feel this is romantic, if not loving on his part. Your initial glance didn’t have you thinking he was a romantic but he had done nothing but sweet talk and accommodate for your comfort. “Remember your comfort comes before anything.” You bite your cheek but nod, watching him with wide, hazy eyes.

His hands leave your thighs only for a moment; they soon find way to your hips where he grabs the band of your skirt. With a slow, deliberate tug he brings the material down your hips, past your thighs and knees until he slips it past your feet entirely, placing it down gently on the floor beside him.

Even through your tremble you can’t help but feel a shiver fall down your spine. You can feel his hot breath on your sex through your underwear. Seeing dark, red eyes look up at you from between your bare thighs is nearly too much, so you close your eyes and take a deep breath in an attempt to even your breathing. It doesn’t help much.

“Are you ready?” His voice is deep, in stark contrast to your own jumbled tones.

“Yeah, I think so.” You once again try to even your breathing, keeping your eyes closed as anticipation grows with anxiety.

“_____, bella.” His words tease more than his breathing, and you can’t help the sharp intake of breath as he speaks. “I won’t start until I hear a yes from you.” As sweet as that notion was you couldn’t help but feel he was instead teasing. Already it was hard to form words, let alone say them.

“Y-yes, I’m ready Risotto.” Heavy breath leaves through your nose. You dare to look at Risotto, and see him smirk before he begins.

He starts by trailing sweet kisses and licks up your inner thigh. More than anything, it tickles; you can’t help but let out a giggle at the sensation and with it, some of your tension. Risotto continues, making sure every inch of your exposed skin is adored before moving over to the other thigh and working there as well. His tongue makes daring passes over your covered pussy, and the sensation already has you squirming.

He rests strong hands on your hips to steady you, before you feel him grasp your panties. Your heart is pounding, and you don’t know if you want to watch or look away as he removes your underwear. You certainly hadn’t expected this when you went out tonight, so you opted for something… comfortable, not necessarily pretty. This doesn't detour Risotto, however, and you can hear the low moans he lets out.

Still shy, you can’t help but try and close your legs. Ever gentle, strong hands rest on your knees. “_____….” You must have closed your eyes at one point, because only when you hear Risotto’s sweet voice again can you manage to open them. “You’re beautiful, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” You can’t help blush. There’s a lot to be said about a pretty man between your legs, singing your praises but in this moment it has you stunned in silence.

“Just let me make you feel good.” His voice has gained a sultry, seductive tone. You don’t fight him as he opens your knees, instead watching with rapt attention as Risotto returns his attention so your pussy.

“Um, so I said I’ve never been out before…” Your words have Risotto pausing right before he would begin. “Sorry, bad timing…” You laughed a little awkwardly, your nerves making your tone higher. “But I’ve um, never really done anything like this either.” Somehow, you manage to look down at him as you say this. “This is my first time doing… anything like this.” You admit to him.

Risotto couldn’t believe his luck. Were you saying that you were a virgin?

“You don’t mean…” He pauses fully, looking up at your blushing face with wide eyes.

“I-I hope it’s not a problem!” You can’t find it in you to admit the words aloud. Your face hasn’t been more red this even, your eyes just as wide. The two of you can’t seem to look away from one another as Risotto takes all this information in.

“It’s not a problem.” He shakes his head softly. “But… are you sure you want this, then?” Risotto would be willing to take anything you wanted to give him but again, he didn’t want to pressure you into anything.

“I-I mean,” You laugh a little despite yourself, looking away from his eyes a moment only t wander back to his gaze. “You make me feel comfortable so… It’s okay if it’s you.” Your words had gone soft, until they were hardly above a whisper. Risotto was sure to hear it all, though.

It was hard to describe the feeling that went through him as you spoke. It was similar to the bar, when he had you giggling and idly playing with his hands. But here… having you in such an intimate position and admitting that you felt comfortable enough to give such a part of yourself to him? He was star struck a moment, left shocked and wandering how he had gotten so lucky to get here tonight.

“I’ll make sure it’s special for you.” Your heart swelled at his words, at his easy smile. Risotto’s own heart was beating faster as he looked at you, took in all of you from his position between your legs. If things went his way, this would be more than a one night stand. He would do anything he could to keep you here, to see you again.

Anything at all.

There’s a long moment of anticipation before you finally feel his tongue against your folds, it’s a foreign, but pleasant feeling. He proved himself to be gentle, one hand on your hip and the other resting on your inner thigh. He explores all of you, finding that which makes your breathing pick up and heart beat faster. His tongue circles around your clit once and you can’t help but gasp, clenching his hair with your hands and his head with your thighs.

When you realize what you’ve done, you immediately lessen your grip around his head and panic, words leaving you faster than you thought they could. “Oh, I’m sorry I just--” Your cut off as Risotto leaves a little nip on your thigh, a gasp leaving you instead. He peaks his head up and you can see, even from a moment between your thighs, his face is wet with your arousal. It’s enough to get you to flush more as he speaks.

“Don’t worry.” His dark hooded eyes and grin don’t help how you’re feeling. “You won’t hurt me.” He once again returns to your cunt, movements a little more bold then the curious licks he did before. His movements once again having you gripping his hair.

He’s obviously had more experience than you; Risotto knows just the way to move his tongue over your pussy, running it over your clit only to tease and dip his tongue into you. It’s when he begins to suck on your clit, and press two fingers into your pussy do you moan aloud, and clench your thighs around his head once more. At this, he moans as well and you can’t help the heat the rises though you; that somehow, he was getting as much pleasure from this as you were.

Risotto presses into you slowly at first, slender fingers gently working you open as his mouth works diligently, sucking on your clit and savoring your taste. By now, you’ve begun trying to follow his movements, but his hand on your hip keeps you in place. You can’t help but whine out, moans following as Risotto pumps his fingers in and out of you.

“F-fuck,” You manage to open bleary eyes, looking down at Risotto between you. “Ris I… please,” You aren’t even sure what you’re trying to say, gripping his head tighter and chasing the heat that he gave you.

His fingers soon leave your cunt, only for his mouth to move down instead. Deft fingers work your clit in a fast pace while his tongue thrusts in and out of your cunt, groaning as your slick coats his tongue. He could stay here between your thighs all night, coaxing more moans and sweet cries from you.

“I… I’m close,” You can hardly get the words out, desperately chasing your orgasm as Risotto doubles his efforts, waiting for your to cum so he could swallow all of your release. His fingers circle your clit in quick, practiced motions as he rubs his tongue along your g spot. It isn’t long before your release hits you. “R-risotto…! Oh, fuck…” Your nails dig into his hair and you clench your thighs even tighter around him, if possible.

You’re breathing heavy, riding out the high of your orgasm. Risotto, ever diligent, gently carries you through the aftershocks and greedily takes your release. Soon enough, your weak knees gently fall from around his head. Your hands grow limp as well, and Risotto soon sits to his full height between your legs, looking at you in a way you can only describe as caring.

“Are you alright?” he’s breathing heavy too, you notice. You can hardly talk but you let out a chuckle and nod for him.

“Y-yeah, just need a moment.” You smile softly as his large hands rest on your thighs, rubbing small patterns into them just as you did to him earlier in the evening. You take him in a moment, from his white hair, disheveled from your hands, to piercing red eyes that look to you with nothing short of adoration. Full lips that shine with the remains of you release… surely, it would be enough to make any person blush.

“Do you need anything?” It amazed you how attentive he was too, as if he didn’t just work to get you off.

“No, no I’m… I’m okay.” You laugh a little and pull him up to your level. You still felt a little shy and anxious, but it was amazing how relaxed you felt after one orgasm. Enough so that the thought of another, didn’t seem so bad. “Come here,” You urge Risotto to sit up on the couch with you. He’s all but eager to do so, moving next to you. Emboldened, you hold his cheek with one hand. “Can I kiss you?” You ask him.

“You don’t need to ask.” You glance a small smile on his lips before he pulls you into him. He kisses you with the same fervor and passion as before. You easily slide into his lap and you’re reminded of the reason you wanted to run away before.

However, this time you can’t help but feel excited as you kiss him and taste yourself; you want more of the friction between you, more of his attention and more of what he can offer. The feel of his clothed dick on your naked pussy is better then it was minutes before, and you want it so bad.

“Risotto…” You pull away from him panting, looking deep into his eyes. “I… I want you.” You feel your face heating up, but you can’t stop now. You push though your embarrassment and continue speaking. “I wanna fuck you.” You whimper, managing to say the words but losing his gaze somewhere in the process.

“_____…” His grip on your waist tightens. You look to him again, a small smile hitting your lips. “Don’t feel like you owe me--” You cut him off.

“No, I really want it.” You take a deep breath. You’re shaking again. “This may sound stupid but… not only do you make me feel good, but safe too. I’ve never felt more comfortable then when I’m with you.” You laugh a little, as if that will underplay how serious your words are. “Like, forgive me if I’m being weird or too forward or whatever but… I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” You press your forehead against his. “And I kinda got that same feeling from you, so…” Your voice dies down as you realize the words you’ve just said.

“Ah, shit… I didn’t mean--” You realize you’ve probably killed the buzz and try to back track, but Risotto speaks up.

“No that’s…” He smiles, genuine and sweet. “I don’t either. I want to see you again after tonight.” You smile back at him, wide and shining. “You make me feel…” He swallows hard, catching himself. “I feel safe with you too.” Risotto uses your words as well, trying to meet you at your level, rather then where he currently was. “If you really and truly want this… let me make it special for you.”

You’re left no room to question him as Risotto rises from the couch, easily lifting you with him. You squeak and cling to him, arms running around his neck and legs finding way away his waist. Your carried further back into the comfortable house and brought to a simple bedroom. Your placed on his bed with the utmost care, but you can’t help but pout as he leaves. It’s only for a moment, to close the door of his bedroom.

Soon enough Risotto is standing before you on the edge of his bed, looking down with an unreadable look. You’re silent as you watch him, caught up in your own emotions. A moment passes and whatever Risotto was thinking passes.

“There’s still time to back out.” Risotto says, slowly crawling over your figure on his bed. You’re forced to lay back to accommodate him, your heart pounding and crawling out of your chest and into your throat.

“I’m ready, it’s okay.” You rest your hands on his chest, along the strange straps. “Why don’t you take this off already? It can’t be comfortable.” You giggle a little and hear Risotto snort.

“If you insist.” You can’t help but smile at his teasing tone. He takes off his cloak and once that’s met with the ground, his harness soon follow. You follow suit, removing your shirt and pausing only a moment when you get to your bra. He’s already seen your pussy and made you come, however, so soon enough your bra joins the growing pile of clothing on the floor.

“Thank you for being so kind to me.” Your hands rest on the waistband of his pants. Risotto’s hands ghost over yours but pause as you speak. “You definitely didn’t have to jump though all these hoops for me… but you did, and still are.” You smile again and Risotto can hardly speak, his heart has begun pounding so fast.

“Don’t thank me. You deserve kindness.” His voice is soft, his words playing funny in your heart. Its all you can do to shake your head.

“Still…” Gently, you tug at his pants, pulling with them his boxers. “It means a lot to me.” You’re trying to distract yourself from your pounding heart and how curious you were-- Risotto was a big man, after all, so surely…

“Remember, this is about you.” Your gaze is pulled up to his. “The moment you want this to end, it will.” You swore, he was trying to make you fall for him-- why else would someone be so accommodating, so sweet and caring?

“Well… I want you to feel good too.” In a moment of bravery, you place your hands over his and pull his pants and boxers off all the way, until you’re both left naked in front of one another.

You take a moment to marvel at him, to take him all in. Pretty face, defined muscles and all… Risotto does the same, amazed to be taking in all of you in the flesh. Soft curves and sweet lips, full breasts and eyes that have captivated him from the moment he saw you… He never really imagined he would get to have you in the flesh, to hold you and please you.

Now, he’s afraid he won’t be able to let go. Or maybe, that he’ll mess up and won’t be able to keep you.

“Oh, wow.” You’ve said it to him countless times tonight, but perhaps now it is the most apt use. Your eyes find way down to Risotto’s fully hard cock and can’t help but stare. You had never seen one in the flesh and he was just… so big. Bigger than you thought he would be.

“You’ll be okay.” Risotto’s words draw your attention back to his eyes. “I’ll make sure it hurts as little as possible.” You nod at him and offer a smile to him. You want to speak more, but Risotto moves his hand back to your pussy.

You’re still wet from your last release. He swirls gentle fingers around your sex, gentle touches to your clit sending small shocks of pleasure through you. Soon, his two fingers dip into your cunt once more, movements tender and slow as he works you open. He gently scissors his fingers in you, before leaning his head down to your chest.

You go to question him before you feel his tongue circle your nipple. You gasp at the feeling, hardly even noticing as he slips a third finger into your soaked cunt, instead arching your back to feel of his mouth upon your breast. He begins to suck on your nipple and thrust into your pussy with his fingers with more power.

His fingers brush against your g spot as he thrusts, and his mouth pops from your breast with a small sound. He trails kisses between your breasts, making his way to your neglected nipple to give it the same treatment as the other. He licks and nibbles, goading more moans from you as he works.

Too soon, his head pops from your breast. He takes a deep breath and speaks. “Dolsetta… are you ready?” His fingers slow their thrust in you, waiting for your response.

“I… I am.” You take a deep breath, looking into his deep eyes. You can’t help but take his face into your hands, and pull him into a passionate kiss. It’s face paced and bruising, gnashing teeth and desperate tongues. You wanted him more than you thought possible.

“I need you, Ris.” You pull away with heavy breaths and beating heart. “I’m ready.” He slowly pulls his fingers from you, grinning and unabashedly licking his fingers of your arousal.

“I’ll be gentle,” Risotto is breathing just as heavy, looking to you with hooded eyes. It was getting harder to hold himself back. But for you, he would be gentle. He would be slow.

“I’ll be okay.” You want to smile to let him know you’ll be fine, but your nerves have you shaking again. Still, you try to be brave; you reach between the two of you and grab his cock in your hand, shocked both by how heavy it was how hot it felt in your hands.

You pump his cock a few times in curiosity, amazed by how it twitched in your hand, how you could hardly enclose your fist around him. “Bet you’ll feel so good in me.” You coo, guiding his head towards your entrance. “You’re gonna be sweet and gentle with me like before, right Risotto?” You look to his face, seeing how his gaze is locked on the space between your bodies—to his dick, barely kissing your cunt.

“I’ll treat you so good,” His words are low, dying into a groan. “Fuck you so gentle,” You bite your lip as he places his larger hand over yours on his cock, rubbing his dick over your folds and kissing your clit with his movements. You let out soft noises, watching as he aligns with your cunt.

You pull your hand away and hold your breath, pussy fluttering against the barely there touch of his dick. “Please, m’ready.” Your heart is pounding, hardly believing this is where the night had taken you. That you were letting Risotto take your virginity.

He presses into you, slowly. The pain takes you by surprise, and you gasp—Risotto immediately stops his movement. You think no more than his head is in you, but the stretch to accommodate his dick is more than you thought it would be.

“I-I’m okay, I’m okay.” You’re breathing heavy though, trying moreso to convince yourself than him.

“I won’t move until you say so, _____.” He leans in close and meets you for another kiss. This one is slow, sensual; anything and everything to distract you from the pain of his entrance. Soon enough, you pull from him. Somewhere along the line, Risotto had began holding your hip.

“Okay, okay…” You take another deep breath. The residual pain was still there, but you found you wanted, needed more. “Keep going. I’ll tell you if I need to stop a-again.” Risotto nods, making sure to pay close attention to your face, and how much comfort you were in.

Still, he pushes into you slowly. As inch another inch slowly sinks into you, you take in a breath. Though not as bad as the initial push, there was still pain. However you let Risotto push in another inch, before you feel two of his thick fingers rub slow circles on your clit. It’s a welcome distraction from the painful stretch of his cock, and you can feel yourself relax a little as he does this.

“You feel so good around me,” Risotto is panting. He’s close to bottoming out inside of you, deft fingers desperately trying to distract from the pain of his entrance. “I’ll make you feel just as good soon bella.” You hadn’t expected that Risotto would be so vocal during sex, but it’s not unwelcome, his low baritone another distraction.

Soon enough, you hear him let out a low groan. You had closed your eyes, gripping the bed as he pushed into you. However, as you look now you can see Risotto has bottomed out inside of you, his dick fit snug in your virgin cunt.

“S-so big…” You shiver as you say the words, taking a deep breath to try and relax around him. The pain was slowly dying, being replace by the slow thrum of pleasure. “I… You can move now. Slowly, please.” You look up to red eyes, that gaze down at you with such a strange, loving gaze.

“Of course…” Risotto swallows hard, gripping your hip with a strong hand to stop from moving so quickly. You felt more than heavenly around him; all soft and pliant beneath him, trusting him so much and allowing him to take care of you like this… Gentle as he could, Risotto pulls away from your cunt until just the tip of his dick sits inside you.

You take a deep breath, looking to him. “It’s okay, I’m… ready.” Risotto smiles at you, soft words leaving him. You can’t really hear him, gasping as he sinks the full length of his cock back into you; not fast at all, but certainly quicker than the moments before. There’s little to no pain this time, instead replaced with small sparks of pleasure.

“Oh betta…” His words are low and breathy. His free hand moves from your clit, instead resting beside your head on the bed to better balance himself. “You feel so good around me, so tight and sweet…” His words have you blushing but they only add to the pleasure your feeling, add to the heat that begins to build at your core.

It isn’t long before Risotto has built a rhythm, thrusting into you with gentle rocks of his hips into yours. Your hands find way around his neck as pleasure begins to build in you and soon enough, you find that his pace isn’t enough; that the slow drag of his cock in your pussy is becoming a torture. You need more; more friction, more heat, more of him.

“Ris, I… more, please.” It’s hard to find the words, both because it’s getting harder to speak and because it’s embarrassing. “I need more.” You feel as if your begging but you can’t help it.

“Shh, tesoro, I know.” His voice is hot and heavy in your ear. “Wrap your legs around me, yes just like that…” Your legs find way around his waist, the new angle helping his reach deeper in you. You moan loudly, feeling his cock reach deeper within you. Risotto pounds into you harder, faster, sultry words in your ear louder than the sounds of your skin slapping together.

“_____…” You name is a growl from his lips. “Feel so good. Wanted this for so long.” You were nearly out of it, hardly able to catch the words Risotto was saying as your move your shops in tandem with his, chasing the high building in your sex.

“W-what?” You open bleary eyes and turn your head towards him, but Risotto captures your lips and merely fucks you with more fervor. It’s hard to keep up, between his strong thrusts and dominating kiss, you’re all but lost in the moment. You pull away from him soon, finding it hard to catch your breath from all his ministrations.

Risotto doesn’t stop, though, moving his head down to kiss and nibble his way to the hickey he had left on your neck earlier in the evening, kissing and worrying the mark again and delighting in the moans that left you. “Hah… can’t let you go. Can’t, need you.” His words are hard to follow, confusing. You’re getting closer and closer to your orgasm and though the words have a small cautionary light going off in the back of your head, there isn’t much you can say or do when your so close.

“Ris… Ris…!” He’s still talking, growling low in your ear about things that would make coherent you run out of the room. But here, in his arms, being fucked as if there’s no tomorrow, it only serves to make you hotter, bring you closer to your release.

“Gonna come for me pretty girl?” His voice has gone darker. “Gonna come all over my cock, let your stalker come in your pretty cunt?” You hardly recognize the words, being fucked too good to remember why that was even bad.

“W-wha?” You snap your head up and look to him. “N-No, I…” Even still, you can’t help the way your hips follow his at a bruising pace. “Y-you can’t, you can’t be…” You attempt to push him away, to slip out of his grasp.

“Shh, betta, I won’t hurt you. Keep you here, keep you safe in my arms, make you feel good.” He holds you tighter, pulling you close to his chest until you can hear the heavy beating of his heart. “Love you so much dolsetta, just let me make you feel good.” His words are a coo in your ear, one you can’t help but moan along to.

“Risotto,” His name comes out as a whine from your throat. “I, I…” Conflicting feelings raise inside you. But you were so, so close. It was getting harder to care. If anything, his words were only getting you closer, teetering you on the edge of your second orgasm. “M’m soso close, please, please” You draw out the words whinnying as he fucks you harder.

“You wanna come? You gonna come all over my cock?” You whine at Risotto’s words, nodding your head. His hand that had been gripping your hip moves now to your clit, circling it in quick motions to push you over the edge. This, in addition with his possessive words and constantly battering of his dick against your g spot throws you over the edge, and you come with a loud cry, clinging to Risotto as your release hits you hard. Even as you come, Risotto chases his own release.

“Oh betta, you feel so good milking me,” His thrusts grow more desperate, more shallow as he grows close. “Love you so much, love you. Gonna keep you here, keep you with me.” Over sensitivity keeps your from responding and it isn’t long before you feel Risotto cum inside your, coating and overfilling your poor cunt with his cum. He moans out, stilling as you lay beneath him.

Soon enough, you’ve recovered somewhat; Risotto hasn’t pulled out of you quite yet, breathing heavy as he rests just above you. You’re quiet, the desperate words Risotto had said only moments before replaying again and again in your head.

In another moment, Risotto takes a deep breath. He sounds, strange. You don’t question it, don’t speak as he slowly pulls out of you. You can feel his cum leak out of you and he moves to lay next to you on the bed.

It’s hard to find the right words. If there are any. What do you say in a moment like this? “You… you’re really the one whose been stalking me?” Your voice is quiet, hoarse from the screaming you had done mere minutes before. “You left those gifts… scared my friends…” You take a deep breath, and closed your eyes.

“I…” He doesn’t speak a long moment. You can hear his heavy breath, feel his gaze on you. “I am. I adore you.” You open your eyes at that, glance his way. “This whole night hasn’t been a lie, _____.” The use of your name now feels so intimate, so raw. It makes your throat dry. Your heart hasn’t stopped pounding.

“But my anxiety. My fear. Those weren’t fake either.” You swallow hard, fighting the forming lump in your throat. “What of those?”

“I never meant to hurt you. To scare you...” Your heart stops as you feel his hand reach for yours, resting by your side. What will happen if you pull away from him, try to make some distance between the two of you? You suddenly remember you’re completely naked. That you’ve given such a special part of yourself to him… To a man that invaded your privacy, followed you around and even potentially hurt other people who may have been interested in you.

“But you did.” You pull your hand away from him. He doesn’t stop you, but you hear a sigh fall from him. “You hurt me, scared me… and you used your knowledge of me to gain my trust. Grow closer to me and even…” You stop speaking as you feel his ever cooling cum continue to drip from your pussy.

“I… can’t deny your claims.” He’s gone quiet, his demeanor somewhat changed from it was before. Was he even the kind and accommodating man you had been with earlier this evening. “But only because I loved you. Because I wanted you to be happy and feel good…” his words die down until he’s completely quiet.

You sit up suddenly, and glare down at Risotto. He raises up as well, concern lacing his features. “No. You knew just what to say and what to do to get me where you wanted.” You clutch a sheet to your chest, in a vain attempt to cover yourself from him. “Were you only kind to me so you could get me in your bed, take from me what I can now give to no other?” You feel tears threaten your eyes as you glare at him, emotion taking over your voice.

“N-no, never.” How dare he look hurt? How dare he looked concerned? “All I ever wanted was… to make you happy.” You frown, and move your legs over the side of the bed.

“Regardless of what you say, that’s happened.” You move to stand, but your legs are weak. As you fall back on the bed, Risotto is there beside you. Worrying over you as a lover would. “Don’t touch me!” You flinch from his touch.

“Tesoro…” He sounds so sad. It makes you sick. “Even if you…” You watch him swallow hard. “Even if you hate me now… you should stay here. You need to rest.” You let out an indignant huff.

“What, so you can keep me here like you were going on about?” You frown at him, full on glaring as you see color dust his cheeks at your words. “No, fuck you. I’m leaving. Don’t ever touch me or talk to me again.” This time, as you rise on wobbly legs, they manage to hold you up.

Risotto merely watches a moment as you march around the room, picking up the pieces of your clothing that were left on the floor. It wasn’t long ago you were watching him with wide eyes, filled with curiosity and adoration… Now that same gaze was filled with hatred and anger. He couldn’t let it end like this.

“Tereso… I’m sorry, but you’re right. I have to keep you here.” You turn to him, still only half dressed, and give him your coldest glare.

“And how do you plan on doing that?” You feel a shiver pass through you all the sudden. Risotto doesn’t answer you, so you go for the door. The knob stays firmly in place, and there’s no lock to be seen on this side. “What the hell is this? You think a locked door will stop me?” You swallow hard, tensing. “You’re locked in here with me, asshole.” You have no qualms with fighting him, but Risotto is both taller and more physically fit then you. There would be no way you could take him on in a normal fight...

“_____, please calm down.” He rises as well, unabashed in his nakedness.

“I’ll calm down when I’m away from you.” You back up as he take a step forward.

“It doesn’t have to be like this.” Risotto stands before you, voice even but face betraying his sadness. “I can still keep you safe. Make you happy.”

“Keep me safe?” You stare at him in disbelief. “The only thing I need kept safe from is you!” You back up again, bat hitting the wall by the door. As it does, you stumble again, this time barely managing to right yourself. All the sudden, it’s harder to breathe.

“Don’t struggle, you’ll be okay…” Risotto walks towards you slowly as black dots start clouding your vision.

“W-what have you done to me?” You fall to your knees, Risotto quick to come and support your falling form. “N-No, there’s only one thing this could be…” No matter how much your breathe, how you cough or gasp, you simply aren’t getting enough air. “You… you’re a stand user, aren’t you?” You can hardly stay awake or keep your eyes open long enough to see the shock running through his face. You must already been well under the effects of his stand.

“You are as well?” He clutches you tighter.

“Would… wouldn’t you like to know.” You can’t help but laugh as he frowns down at your form. It wouldn’t be much longer until the lack of air caused you to pass out. You’re a little afriad of that—but what could Risotto do to you that he hasn’t already done? “Guess you’ll… just how to wait and see.” You take one more desperate breath.

“Doesn’t that… scare you?” You close your eyes, and allow the darkness to take you.

If only for a little bit. If only for now, you wanted Risotto to feel the same fear you felt when he was stalking you. You doubted that when you awoke, Glory and Gore would be able to take him out. But knowing he might be afraid—that he might doubt his ability to keep you here—was enough to let you pass out in relative peace.

“_____…” Risotto looks to you in his arms, something soft, something scared, something relived looming in his gaze.

Finally, you were just were he wanted you, where you belonged. But… at what cost? Just when he thought he had one you over he had to go and ruin it because he was too lost in the moment… And what of your stand? Surely you had a stand, if you were able to pick up on the effects of Metallica… But what was it?

He was scared.

Did you have power enough to leave him? To escape his home, maybe even defeat him? Only time would tell.

For now, you were safe. And… that’s what really mattered, in the end.

#risotto x reader #yandere risotto x reader #jjba part 5 #part 5 #hhh girl help

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