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scottymcgeesterwrites · 3 years

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ScottyMcGeester Plays Every Final Fantasy Game*

*Okay, all the main games except 11 and 14 since they are online only, and also no spinoffs or sequels.

THE INTRODUCTION

Years ago, I had a goal to finish every Final Fantasy game. As of December 30, 2020, I finally reached that goal. I originally started posting these reviews way back in 2017 on VGF(VIdeo Game Forums), and posted one review after another as I completed each game. I had already finished a few before I started reviewing the series, such as Final Fantasy I, II, VI, IX, and X.

Final Fantasy X was my very first Final Fantasy game, way back when it first came out on the PS2. It took me years to finish that game, mostly because I was still a novice at RPGs and I didn’t quite know what I was doing. Still, the world and concepts of Final Fantasy gripped me. As a sci-fi/fantasy writer, they inspired tons of elements in my stories. The series spans a multitude of genre-bending stories – sci-fi, fantasy, some steampunk, modern fantasy, space, traditional fantasy with knights in armor – and a whole lot of crystals. I wrote these reviews as if you have no idea what Final Fantasy is – whether you are a gamer or non-gamer. This first post is a general introduction to the series as a whole, but even if you are a die-hard fan already, there are some things that I explore that I hope you'll find interesting. What is Final Fantasy? Final Fantasy is a roleplay video game series that started back in 1987. The first game was reminiscent of Dungeons and Dragons, where you could choose one of six roles for a team of four: White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage, Thief, Monk and Warrior. Square, now known as Square Enix, developed the game. A legendary rumor about the title “Final Fantasy” comes from the story that they were on the verge of bankruptcy. They only had money for one more game, a fantasy game. They dubbed it “Final Fantasy.” This apocryphal story is nowhere near true. Square had made video games before and they didn’t do well, but the company itself wasn’t on the verge of bankruptcy. What happened was that the developer, Hironobu Sakaguchi, had planned to retire. He didn’t see any foreseeable future in video gaming with Square’s mediocre performance. He wanted to make a fantasy game and dubbed it “Final Fantasy”, since it was to be his personal last work. He also wanted the game to be abbreviated as “FF” – they originally had “Fighting Fantasy” in mind but that name was already trademarked by a board game. Final Fantasy initially sold 400,000 copies in Japan and became and instant hit. Nintendo of America approached Square to release a localized version for the states. Final Fantasy became far from Sakaguchi’s last game. What’s Final Fantasy about? Every main Final Fantasy game has a new story with new characters and even new gameplay. Some games have direct sequels and are recognizable with a subtitle, or an additional number following a dash. For example, there is Final Fantasy VII, and the direct sequel to that Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII. There's a direct sequel to Final Fantasy X titled Final Fantasy X-2. But even though each Final Fantasy game is different, there are still central elements that make them a Final Fantasy game. You can’t just write up a random fantasy story and slap the Final Fantasy name on it. The following elements are what make a Final Fantasy game. Some are obvious while others not so much. Chocobos:

Chocobos were first introduced in Final Fantasy II, but have been present ever since. They are cute, large birds that the characters often ride across fields or sometimes call into battle. They have practically become the mascot of the series. Moogles, Cactuars and Tonberries – oh my!

Moogles (pictured above) are telepathic creatures that help the players, or sometimes they can be a playable character. They debuted in Final Fantasy III.

Cactuars (right) and Tonberries (left) are cute, unassuming enemies that are actually highly dangerous, killing you in one shot if you are not careful or fast enough. The former debuted in Final Fantasy VI while the latter debuted in Final Fantasy V. Summons:

Sometimes they go by different names, like eidolons or espers. Summons are massive, fantastic beasts that you can call upon to aide you in battle to fight the enemy. Summons became a staple ever since Final Fantasy III. In some games, they are merely there to call into battle, while in other games they are central to the story. Airships:

Airships have been present since the first game. They are massive boat-looking airplanes. In the more recent games, airships look almost like spaceships.

Cid:

With the exception of the original Final Fantasy (except in later remakes), every game has a character named Cid. Cid is typically the character who owns an airship.

Items and Magic Spells:

Each game shares virtually all the same items and magic spells. Antidotes. Eye drops. Maiden's kiss. Holy water. Phoenix Down is well-known for reviving knocked-out characters in battle. The spells follow a hierarchy of levels. For example, Cure is the basic spell to heal somebody. The second level spell for healing is Cura. Then Curaga. Then finally Curaja. Most other spells follow the same format. The same high-level spells also frequently appear throughout the games, such as Holy and Flare.

Crystals:

With a few exceptions, crystals appear in nearly every game. They often serve as plot devices, whether they be the force that protects the planet or powerful objects coveted by the enemy. They also oftentimes have a consciousness of their own, communicating with the characters and calling them to their destiny.

Mythological References:

Final Fantasy is riddled with mythological references. Many summons and creatures take the names of mythological creatures or deities, such as Shiva, Bahamut, Leviathan, Behemoth, Odin, and Ifrit. Certain villains share the names of mythological figures or they are derived from certain mythological concepts, such as Gilgamesh and Sephiroth. Many of the games have legendary weapons you can find near the end of the journey. These are typically named after legendary Japanese figures, such as Masamune and Yoichi, or other world mythologies, such as Thor’s hammer Mjolnir. Saving the World:

Final Fantasy isn’t about saving a particular princess, or person for that matter. The ultimate goal is to save the entire world, or even the very fabric of reality. Evil spreads in many ways, such as a sealed darkness trying to break free, empires with ambitious goals, villainous subordinates who pull the strings of politics, or empires destroying the environment. Typically, the main cast consists of characters from all walks of life. They all have to learn to work together and get through their personal struggles to save the world. Existential Crisis (or Startling Revelation):

By the time you reach the third act of a Final Fantasy game, some startling revelation forces the characters to question their very existence. A villain is revealed to be a hero’s family member, a main character realizes they're a clone, another realizes that they cannot live without magic, etc. Typically, the main character questions the nature of their soul, if they die like regular beings and become part of some greater life force, or blink out into oblivion. Whatever the revelation may be – it serves as a final crisis that the characters have to overcome. The Descent into Hell:

Every third act of a Final Fantasy game ends with what I like to call a “descent into hell”. The final dungeon is always some kind of bizarre world. In Final Fantasy II, you literally descend into hell to fight the Emperor. Throughout the series, hell is more metaphorical. The final dungeons can be a massive, sprawling tower or dreadnought, or a strange dimension that appears to have no rhyme or reason. Sometimes I'm reminded of M.C. Escher’s work, “Relativity”, or sometimes it reminds me of some cosmic horror featured in the Cthulhu Mythos. These final dungeons can be inter-dimensional rifts between space and times, pockets in reality, subterranean depths, insane worlds that the villain created, and worlds of darkness. (Final Fantasy IX's Memoria)

(M.C. Escher's “Relativity”)

These stylistic approaches for the final dungeon represent the oncoming battle with the forces of chaos. Fighting God:

After venturing through the surreal and hellish final dungeon, you face the main villain. The main villain always achieves godlike status or the characters actually have to defeat a god in order to save the world from its oppressive reign. Many stories appear to throw in a last minute ultimate god who was pulling the strings of the plot the entire time. The purpose of dealing with gods and goddesses represents the characters’ desire to control their own fate and alter their destiny. Most of these bosses are strange and grotesque, definitely getting a Cthulhu vibe from them. I looked at them and thought, "Christ, what the hell is THAT supposed to be?"

It always feels like THE final fantasy:

Each game, no matter what happens or how it happens, feels like the be-all-end-all of its story – its fictional universe. Direct sequels were unheard of until Final Fantasy X-2, which while fun, was wildly different in tone from the original game, and critics pointed out that it ruined the finality of Final Fantasy X. This is one reason why I think direct sequels to Final Fantasy games fail – what else could the main characters possibly face that is more dangerous than the one they just encountered? Anything else would feel like child’s play to them. NOTABLE PEOPLE Aside from the characters, stories and games themselves, the people behind the series have achieved legendary status. Nobuo Uematsu:

The original composer of Final Fantasy. Uematsu single-handedly scored the first 9 Final Fantasy games. Uematsu surprisingly never had any formal training in music – a trait that would ostracize any composer, such as Danny Elfman. I find that the those who haven't had any formal training usually break the mold with music. Uematsu started working for Square at around 25 for the first Final Fantasy game, starting out with nothing and never suspecting his job would lead him where he is now. His music is unique for incorporating elements of classic and progressive rock, specifically in the battle themes. Uematsu’s themes for each game have achieved instant recognition in the gaming world, as recognizable as the theme to Star Wars or James Bond. Tetsuya Nomura:

Tetsuya Nomura is a video game designer and director who started at Square in 1990. He rose to prominence when he was given full control of designing the characters for Final Fantasy VII – arguably the most popular Final Fantasy game to date because of its characters: Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart, Vincent Valentine and Sephiroth. Nomura went on to create more legendary characters for Final Fantasy VIII, X and XIII. Yoshitaka Amano:

Amano is the artist whose work is most known now in Final Fantasy. He has done concept art and design for every game in the series. His style is instantly recognizable. He has also drawn for many anime shows, comics and mangas, such as Vampire Hunter D and Sandman: The Dream Hunters.

And last but certainly not least - THE MUSIC Final Fantasy has left its mark in the musical soundtrack of video games. Each game more or less shares three of the same memorable tracks.

The Prelude:

youtube

The Victory Fanfare:

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The Final Fantasy Main Theme:

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THE REVIEWS

Each review I post will critique major aspects of each Final Fantasy game, such as its gameplay, graphics, story, and music. Today is currently January 3, 2020 (technically the 4th when I post this because it’s past midnight), and I will be posting one review per day so as to not lose my sanity editing and formatting everything at once here. So look forward to the very first review tomorrow starting with the very first Final Fantasy game.

#final fantasy #final fantasy v #final fantasy vi #final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy xv #final fantasy xvi #tifa loc #cloud strife #sephiroth #nobuo uematsu #video games #sony playstation #playstation 5 #final fantasy x #onvideogames

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metalgearkong · 4 years

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Final Fantasy VII Remake - Review (PS4)

4/30/20

Developed by Square-Enix, released April 2020

Final Fantasy VII was the very first 3D polygonal entry in the Final Fantasy series released back in 1997. To this day, Final Fantasy VII is arguably the most influential and beloved JRPG of all time. When I was growing up I wasn’t a big fan of JRPGs yet. However my best friend(s)s for many year(s) were, and I experienced a lot of Final Fantasy (and other JRPGs) via osmosis. I played and completed the original Final Fantasy VII about 5 years ago, finally seeing what all the hype was about. The Final Fantasy VII remake was one of those highly anticipated titles that we thought would be a miracle if it saw the light of day, let alone being as good as it turned out. Finally, 5 years after the world got a taste of the teaser trailer we finally have the “final” product.

The reason I say “final” is because this is only part 1 of what I’m guessing will be 3 parts, extending and fleshing out everything about the original game in full current-gen presentation. Part 1 only covers the events of Midgar, about 5-6 hours of the original game (out of at least 40) and I finished the remake at about 34 hours. The developers at Square-Enix did a fantastic job making this remake feel like it still had a beginning, middle, and end, despite it covering such little territory from the original. Almost everything that extends the time, including dungeons, character development, side quests, and extra bosses was mostly executed very well. Only a handful of times did I feel like some of the mini-games and side quests were annoying or a waste of time (don’t even get me started on the giant robotic hand crane puzzle).

I had a tumultuous relationship with this remake to say the least, and my largest contention with the remake is the combat. I seem to be almost alone on this opinion, but hear me out. The combat could best be compared to Kingdom Hearts, only here, you can switch to different party members, controlling them directly. Also when using the in-game mini menu during a fight, the game will pause the combat allowing you to decide what to do with barely any frames passing by. Despite this remake’s tactical nature, whenever I had to fight more than 3 or so enemies at a time, battles would often turn into a frustrating muddle of a brawl. For example, locking-on has to be done manually, and then done manually again once that enemy is destroyed. Sometimes opponents can remove the lock-on by going invisible, digging below the ground, etc, and having to find a new enemy and manually lock-on again was annoying.

Tips I Wish I Knew...

Use Cloud’s “Punisher” mode whenever facing opponents with physical close-range attacks and counter often

Customize shortcuts for each party member in the Main Menu and make item usage, spell usage, and special ability usage uniform between all characters

Immediately click the right stick to lock-on to ANY enemy so at least you can start working on them

Take control of a healing or long-distance ally when facing multiple or difficult foes in order to see the battlefield better

Only attack a bit at a time so you have the best chance to stop, dodge, or block if an enemy begins their attack

Use the Multiply Materia (I forgot what it’s called) on a supportive spell such as shields or healing

The camera added to the frustration as well. Instead of phasing through physical objects allowing you to fully see the battle, the camera gets caught up on walls and objects. This leads the camera to “zooming in” and me losing sight of my character and the enemies. Any fight in an arena smaller than a gymnasium has this problem. By far the largest frustration I had with the combat was the cheapness of it. For example, if you begin a combo of normal attacks, there’s no way to interrupt your own animations in order to do something different, such as blocking or dodging. It seemed like the enemies were much quicker at attacking, and would smack you with a high damage attack with no way to avoid it. The game strives for a semi-hack ‘n' slash genre of combat, but the mechanics are far and away not responsive enough for the player to actually react to what they need to react to.

Casting a spell, using an item, or executing a special ability have long durations as well, meaning you can easily be cancelled by an enemy attack or at the very least take damage while an animation is playing out. I get that this is a strategic live-combat JRPG, but it lead me to so much frustration and rage I had to move the difficulty down to Easy because Normal just seemed to cheap. It’s a shame because the entire rest of the game is so damned good, I don’t know how the ball was dropped so hard on the combat system. Again, this seems to be my opinion alone because I haven’t heard this criticism anywhere else, which adds to the feeling of frustration for me because it makes me feel “not good enough” despite being a lifelong and daily gamer.

Not enough can be said about the character development and everything having to do with the narrative. Cloud, Tifa, and Barret have been iconic leads for over two decades, but compared to the ramke, they may as well have been cardboard cutouts. Every single cinematic is filled with amazing animation and cinematography, the likes I never expected to see. Characters look fantastic, sure, but the way they work off each other’s personalities and motives breathes new life into what was already considered a terrific game in terms of story. I like how Tifa has her reasons to hate Shinra, but is the most apprehensive about Avalanche’s terrorist actions. Barret comes off as a big meat head, but over time you see that he believes in every word he says. The music is also astounding as we not only hear familiar tracks, but many of the songs get several different remixes. Aerith’s theme in particular gets the most use and its variations make the biggest impacts, transforming what is normally background music into well defined leitmotifs used at all the right moments during the story.

Final Fantasy VII remake (part 1) is a dazzling, emotional, hugely impressive product. This is the the remake fans have only been dreaming about for many many years and I think it mostly pays off well. Virtually every aspect of this adaptation, including characters, music, locations, tone, enemies, and certain mechanics have been painstakingly recreated and reinvigorated to a successful degree that makes it all worth the wait. However, I am not a fan of the combat system and its such a strange thing to get wrong compared to how much of the game is so masterfully created. The additions to the story and lore (few that there are) also lead to unnecessary sections of the game, especially near the end, and has rightfully gotten a mixed reaction from fans of the original. I am desperately curious how the developers will sparse out the rest of the story in these remakes, beings there’s so much left to see and tell, but hope the combat system receives some polish and alterations before the end.

7/10

#ff7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #square enix #cloud #cloud strife #tifa #remake #2020 #barrett #aerith #final fantasy #review #game review #ps4 #incredibleexceptforcombat

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deltaengineering · 5 years

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Winter Anime 2019 Part 4: That’s all, folks.

Over already? This is a pretty thin season with not a lot of shows, so it’s not that surprising that there’s not many good ones either. Still, a weak showing. Oh well, let’s get it over with. There were a few decent ones in the last batch.

Circlet Princess

What: Dimwitted schoolgirl is good at some vaguely defined virtual fighting sport, changes school based on it, finds out relevant club has been abolished. Forecast says: 5 member plot incoming.

❌ I think it’s already clear this show isn’t very ambitious, and not very well written either. A game adaptation at its laziest.

❌❌ Man, this girl is STUPID. What the hell.

❌ The rest of the cast are less stupid (which isn’t hard), but that just means they’re so forgettable they might as well not exist.

❌❌ It looks cheap, and by that I mean really really cheap. The character design is ISO standard anime and it’s mostly on model, but that’s as good as it gets. The animation just sucks. That’s a death sentence for an action/sports show with terrible characters.

Bermuda Triangle - Colorful Pastrale

What: Japanese Spongebob, as in cute mermaids. Doing things optional.

❌ To make this quick, this is almost exactly Pastel Memories, only every problem is just a little less extreme. It has fewer characters, it’s looking slightly better, there’s a tiny bit more going on, the setting is mildly more interesting. That still means it is:

❌❌ 1. A boring mess in which a handful of samey girls do nothing of much interest in a location that should be unique, but isn’t.

❌❌ 2. Conspicuously cheap. It even has the same sightline problems.

❌❌ 3. Featuring a character model sheet that is “off” even under the best circumstances. This time due to the very offputting decision to give everyone blobby triangular irises.

❌❌ Unlike Pastel Memories (which was an ad for a mobile game) this is an anime original, so it really has no excuse being this lame.

♎ I find it amusing that Pastel Palettes are providing the OP for an anime, and it’s not the one currently airing that they’re actually characters in.

Endro~!

What: Kiraralike comedy thing in a generic JRPG setting.

♎ Namori character designs, so it’s like Spyce in that it just seems like the Yuru Yuri cast cosplaying a genre. But hey, Namori character designs do look good.

❌ I’m not as done with generic JRPG settings as with generic isekai settings, but it’s still a real problem since the former is now a subset of the latter. Mildly making fun of it does not improve things much either.

✅ The tone is cutesy and pleasant. I find this much preferable to something like Mahoujin Guru Guru, which is pretty much the same thing but with abrasive, high-intensity slapstick instead.

✅ It’s backing that up with generally high-quality, agreeable pastel looks.

❌ Not being annoying is a start, but beyond that this seems very middle of the road and predictable. I don’t get much out of the genre “parody” and simply being cute is still not an unique selling point in anime.

Grimms Notes The Animation

What: Did someone say JRPG? This is a mobile one, vaguely based on fairy tales as the title implies.

✅ This universe runs on the idea that every NPC’s fate is controlled by a preset story they’re aware of. You could make a good story about that if you took it seriously. It even does that somewhat, but only to the degree that you’d expect from a throwaway sidequest in a moderately well-written JRPG.

❌ And the reason for that is that it has to make room for being a JRPG, of course. Read: It’s irritatingly mechanics- and combat-focused. Stuff like the characters changing form when in fights just seems overly complicated and adds nothing.

❌ Said combat looks competent, but not good enough to make up for detracting from what could have been an interesting setting. Merc Storia did this aspect far better (by usually not doing it at all).

❌ So it ends up being better than expected, but then that only amounts to a disappointment.

Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai / Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

What: Kaguya and Miyuki are in the student council of a prestigious school and HATE HATE HATE each other. Specifically, they hate the part where the other one won’t just finally admit their love.

✅ The joke here is that it’s operating on full intensity at all times, over the most simple matters. It’s pretty much Kaiji, only about dating - complete with hammy narrator. This is another one of those shows where I can’t say with certainty that it’s solid, but I had a blast during the first episode.

✅ Regarding Quintuplets, I made it clear that I love me some sparks in my romantic comedies. It doesn’t get much more explosive than this.

✅ The characters are comparable to Quints too: Smart scheming upstart vs. rich scheming ojou, with a simpleminded girl in the middle that ends up winning more often than not simply by not overdoing it.

✅ The visuals are just as over the top as the proceedings depicted. Occasionally a filter massacre, but mostly cool.

♎ The long-term viability of this show depend entirely on whether they can consistently come up with scenarios that work, which isn’t a given. Also, this is so intense it might become tiresome - I already felt some fatigue towards the end of the first episode. We’ll see, I guess.

Kakegurui ××

What: Some weirdos think they can crash the party at Hyakkaou with an intent to scare the daylights out of Yumeko and Midari, of all people. Let’s just say they were not as prepared as they thought.

✅ As you might have guessed by me watching the sequel, I liked Kakegurui. It has its problems, but if you’re down for some crazypants madness, this show delivers.

✅ This is one of the better episodes of it too, because it gets right into it and the game they play is dead simple. Kakegurui was never about smart moves or strong characters, so not having anything detract from our girls deriving the entirely wrong sort of pleasure from danger is a plus.

♎ Sadly, the OP is a step down (though still great) and the ED is simply an inferior, overcomplicated version of the magnificent original one. They seem to know this too, because they play the OP cut of Deal with the Devil in its entirety for a montage. The rest of the production is on par with the original though, so it’s fiiiine. Oh well.

❌ It got Netflix’d again and the subs situation is dire. Since this is one I actually like, I might have to wait for the official release.

Kouya no Kotobuki Hikoutai / The Magnificent Kotobuki

What: Piston-engined fighter plane pornography.

✅ This delivers where Girly Air Force failed: Close to zero exposition, the majority of the episode is just planes dogfighting with barely any talking either. And that part is executed really well. I think the plane startup sequence alone is as long as the total of Girly’s airtime.

✅ Guess what, it’s Tsutomu Mizushima, previously known for unbridled panzer (und girls) pornography, and boy can you tell. However, this cuts out a lot of GuP’s bullshit: A plane doesn’t have the cast of K-ON in it, it’s not over-the-top zany, and whatever this universe is, it can’t be as insipid as GuP’s. The classy milwank exists you guys, we found it.

✅✅ The music really helps here, sky pirates vs zeppelins just wouldn’t work without some classic swashbuckling orchestra background. Fat sound mixing on the dakka too. It’s great.

♎ Can’t really say much about the narrative because we kinda skipped that in this episode aside from the obvious, but Mizushima’s Shirobako collaborator Michiko Yokote is writing it, and that’s a good sign.

❌ Now we’re getting to the elephant in the room though: There’s no way the planes wouldn’t be CG in 2019, but the characters are CG too, and their animation is mediocre. Also, they did the KADO thing where they 2D-animated the side characters that aren’t important enough to model. This has the funny side effect that you can tell who’s going to die real soon by them looking better. It’s far from great, but probably a worthy tradeoff if the mechanical side is this extensive and also delivers.

✅ This is definitely not for everyone, since you have to have more than a casual appreciation for those magnificent girls in their flying machines. I do, though.

revisions

What: A chunk of Shibuya gets teleported to the dystopian future, local doomsday prepper gets handed a large robot because he’s special.

❌ A Goro Taniguchi joint being a poorly conceived scifi mess? Say it ain’t so! I especially dig the tryhard English jargon (mecha: “String Puppet”, monsters faction: “Revisions”, particular monster, I think?: “Civilian”, tacticool operetah: “Balancer”).

❌ Works very hard to characterize the main character, to the detriment of everyone else. A for effort, but you made an unlikeable asshole though.

❌ This is another full CG show, with the quality of the animation being curiously variable. Sometimes it’s well above average and sometimes it’s painful. There doesn’t seem to be much method to it.

✅ Tries to establish stakes by being mondo edgy and graphically murderizing some poor bystanders. It’s adorable.

❌ If you’re really jonesing for some mecha, you can watch all of this on Netflix right now. It’s not like you have any alte- wait, Egao no Daika has mecha too. Well there you go then. That’s a better show.

#anime #impressions #winter2019 #Bermuda Triangle #endro #grimms notes #kaguya-sama #circlet princess #kakegurui #koya no kotobuku hikoutai #revisions #The Magnificent Kotobuki

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niafrazier · 5 years

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Making the Case for Beto O’Rourke

Full disclaimer: Beto is one of my top picks amongst the 2020 democratic field as of now. I’m a supporter but am in no way affiliated with his official campaign.

At a certain point, Beto O’Rourke was hailed by the media as basically the second coming of Obama, RFK, JFK, [insert any popular democratic figure from this past century… oh and Abe Lincoln]. After he unsuccessfully attempted to unseat Ted Cruz in the senate race, many people across the country were calling him to run for the presidency. He even surged in polling being just behind Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders, both who virtually have 100% name recognition. His senate race garnered national attention and even caught Oprah’s attention (she practically begged him to run on her show FFS). Many (including me) grew to admire his authentic, organic, and down-to-earth approach to politics, which is especially refreshing to see given the fact that everything seems so contrived nowadays. So, he wrestled with his decision thoughtfully and eventually came around to the idea, officially tossing his hat into the ring on March 14th, 2019. But now? Right out the gate, the narrative has shifted, and to the mainstream media pundits and Twittersphere, he is seen as an empty-suited, entitled, misogynistic, arrogant dude dripping with white male privilege. What changed? How is it that the media, the very one that contributed to the rise of “Betomania,” subsequently went into a frenzy and poo-pooed all over his rollout? The faux outrage, double standards, and cynicism directed at Beto by opinion writers, pundits, etc. have basically motivated me to give my own takes on the most common criticisms I’ve seen thus far. So, here we go:

“ ‘Man, I’m just born to be in it?’ ”

I’m not gonna lie, taking a look at the Vanity Fair cover and seeing that quote was a facepalm moment. As predicted, this quote sparked outrage fairly quickly… given the optics of a privileged straight white man joining a race of several qualified women and POC… Understandably so. However, upon reading through the whole article, I was able to grasp the essence of Beto’s words. Here’s what he says leading up to his declaration, expressing urgency:

“This is the fight of our lives…not the fight-of-my-political-life kind of crap. But, like, this is the fight of our lives as Americans, and as humans, I’d argue.”

And now here’s the full quote: “Man, I’m just born to be in it, and want to do everything I humanly can for this country at this moment.”

He’s not so much saying that he was born to be in a position of power, rather, he’s expressing that during such dire times, especially in U.S. democracy, he could not in good conscience be complacent and not take action. Just as he was drawn to serve his district in El Paso as a 6 year city council member and a 3-term congressman, he believes that at this moment, he has a purpose to serve the whole nation by being as actively involved in the national discussion as possible—to stand up to bigotry and divisiveness displayed by the current administration of the White House. Beto basically confirmed what I had thought after further inspection when he clarified his statement later (Google it. I’m having trouble with my hyperlinks right now). Could he have worded it better? Sure. I just reject the notion that this one gaffe is supposed to sum him up as an egotistical maniac… please.

“He adds absolutely no value to the race”

This is arbitrary depending on what your key issues are, but I’m gonna give my take on why I think he’s an excellent addition to the race. So, I’ve been intrigued about the possibility of an O’Rourke presidential run since he’s hinted at it back in November. I really didn’t know much about him until toward the end of Midterm season, but the more I learned, the more impressed I became. (Side note: it was this clip that first caught my full attention.) What really fueled my interest in Beto though, was his stance on immigration. As a first generation Nigerian American, this topic is pretty personal to me. My parents were fortunate enough to have the opportunity to immigrate to America and raise me and my three other siblings. However, I’ve also seen firsthand the difficulty of not only getting through with the ridiculous process but also assimilating into this country. For so long, the Democrats haven’t really made immigration a central issue, until the Trump administration hijacked it and pushed the Overton window all the way to the right. With heightened xenophobia running rampant in this country as a result of this abhorrent presidency, it is pertinent that the Democrats not merely pay lip service to this issue any longer and take serious action. Beto has an advantage here: He’s grown up in and served as a U.S House Rep. in the border district of El Paso, also home to the largest binational community in the Northern hemisphere. He can add a lot to the national discussion and debate on the matter. When Trump came to El Paso, the local community organized a counter rally where Beto gave an impassioned speech about the border wall and immigration. It’s pretty long, but I highly recommend the watch. Furthermore, Beto has outlined a 10 point proposal on how best to approach the immigration issue, along with some facts about the border’s history, which you can read here. Immigration hasn’t really been a winning issue, and I honestly don’t see it being one in 2020. With that being said, I respect the fact that despite this, Beto has shown that this is an issue that he deeply cares about. If I’m being honest, even though comprehensive immigration reform is universally called for amongst Democrats, I doubt that anyone in the field will truly make immigration a main priority in their prospective presidencies. To me, Beto has shown that he will. Even if he doesn’t clinch the nomination, it still means a ton to me that we can have the potential to change the narrative of immigration in this country with serious discussion. With the way Beto is able to convey his message, I am hopeful for what’s to come.

So, let’s talk about Texas. With the way Beto was able to energize the Democratic base in Texas, Democrats have the opportunity to put the Republican bastion state into play. With 38 electoral votes at stake, Texas is extremely crucial for the GOP. To put things in perspective, if Texas turned blue in 2016, President Hillary Clinton would have been a thing.

*Bonus: “He Lost to Ted Cruz lol… already a nonstarter”

Yes. But you know who else lost to Ted in Texas? Donald Trump. Cruz obliterated him in the Texas Republican primaries. I’m not saying Texas is guaranteed to turn blue with Beto on the ballot, but if we learned anything in 2016, it’s not to underestimate the possibility of seemingly blue or red states to flip at any given moment. The GOP has taken note of this. We’ve seen that Beto has a ton of appeal in Texas amongst not only Democrats but Never-Trump-Republicans and independents as well! If Beto is on that ballot, the GOP will most likely exhaust a ton of resources and money into Texas to keep it from going blue. This will only make other states that Trump won with the slimmest of margins vulnerable. Also… I find it disingenuous to make comparisons between Beto and other senators that hail from deeply blue states regarding electability. If Beto lost to Ted in California, then yeah… we could have a conversation about that.

“A woman running mate is his preference? Who does he think he is?”

The backlash on this surprised me, to be honest… Even Whoopi Goldberg blasted his ass for the statement on The View. If I had to go on a whim here, I feel like it was the Vanity Fair article that sort of set the mood for Beto’s campaign thus far… because otherwise, I believe that this really wouldn’t have been a story. In fact, Beto is not the only male candidate to call for a woman VP. Cory Booker and Bernie Sanders have strongly hinted at choosing a woman running mate. Interestingly enough, I didn’t recall there being any backlash. Here are Beto’s full remarks on choosing a woman as his running mate:

"It would be very difficult not to select a woman with so many extraordinary women who are running right now, but first I would have to win and there's-- you know, this is as open as it has ever been."

This is very much the response I expected from Beto. Time and time again, he has openly acknowledged his privilege, even before getting hammered about it on social media. In the Vanity Fair article, he states his stance on lack of representation in Washington:

“The government at all levels is overly represented by white men,” he says. “That’s part of the problem, and I’m a white man. So if I were to run, I think it’s just so important that those who would comprise my team looked like this country. If I were to run, if I were to win, that my administration looks like this country. It’s the only way I know to meet that challenge.”

Furthermore, he is understanding and considerate of the fact that people are craving for diversity. Here’s what he says:

“But I totally understand people who will make a decision [cast a vote in the primaries] based on the fact that almost every single one of our presidents has been a white man, and they want something different for this country. And I think that’s a very legitimate basis upon which to make a decision. Especially in the fact that there are some really great candidates out there right now.”

I know I don’t speak for all POC or women, but as a WOC myself, I took no issue to his statements. In fact, I appreciate his sensitivity to the issue and the fact that he doesn’t shy away from addressing uncomfortable topics in politics, such as race and representation.

Let’s just be glad he didn’t pull a Hickenlooper…. Jesus.

“Light on policy… but he stands on counters amirite?”

To discuss this point, it’s important to understand Beto’s campaign style. Beto is more like a blank canvass. What he does is first listen to people and their concerns, and then from there, he shapes his policies around that. He feels that this is the best way to serve the people. The point of his road trips and tours was not to lecture people on full fleshed policy proposals. There is debate on whether or not this is an effective strategy, and I do understand that people do like to know exactly what they’re signing up for before casting a vote. That’s why some people will more likely gravitate toward candidates like Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren who have been consistent in their messaging. However, I also think people underestimate the power of simply listening. Take these comments that a potential voter made concerning Beto’s ability to listen during his stop in South Carolina for example:

"I think if he keeps talking to the people and being able to listen, and not talk at the African-American voters. Talk to us. Listen to what we have to say… As long as you listen and then actually put forward ideas that are legitimate ideas to do things, then he will be fine.”

While policy specifics are important, this is still the early stages of Beto’s campaign. Specifics, of course, will have to come at some point, especially when debates come around. Another critique I hear is Beto not having any policy proposals on his website yet. He’s not alone though. Several candidates who have been running longer than he has don’t either. It’s also important to note that while people in the race most likely have been mulling a presidential run for several months or years, this has been something that came around to Beto as recent as November 2018. Stuff like this takes time. I think he has potential, however, in this area. For instance, as I mentioned earlier, he has put out a 10-point proposal on immigration. He also has a brief 5-point plan regarding criminal justice reform and legalization of marijuana. (Fun fact, he even coauthored a book concerning the legalization of weed.) And it’s not like he hasn’t taken stances on issues ever either… I mean, he has a whole congressional record, and his townhalls give you an idea of where he stands on key issues.

Oh... and about the countertops. Ugh. The fact that this really sparked outrage is comical. I’ve seen all sorts of takes on this from asserting his male dominance to throwing his youth in Bernie and Biden’s faces (lmao). At a campaign stop, the owner of the coffee shop that he was at asked him to stand on the countertop because people complained that they weren’t able to see Beto amongst the crowds and camera equipment (despite him being 6’4’’, ha). So then it just became a thing since. And he’s respectful about it in case anyone was wondering, lol. But there’s one thing I think both the Beto detractors and I can agree on: why tf is this getting media coverage? I do agree that there should be more coverage for other candidates concerning the real issues. However, the response shouldn’t be to go after Beto or chastise him for doing harmless acts during his campaign stops… Talk that up with the media. The ironic thing about this is that some of the media pundits complain about giving Beto so much coverage… all while giving Beto more coverage about the coverage he’s receiving… 🙄

So if you made it to the end of this extremely long effortpost, thank you. I actually had tons more to discuss but I’m not trying to make this into a novel. Anyways, I’ll say one last thing:

Before going along with groupthink or engaging in the toxic political echo chamber that is Twitter, I implore you all to take a step back and actually get to know these candidates. Seek after local news outlets when candidates visit to get a feel of the vibes from locals. Go to Beto’s Facebook page and watch a town hall or two. You may come home with a different impression than what is portrayed in mainstream media. I can tell you that when I did this, the difference was night and day. We have such an amazing field of contenders to choose from, and I’d hate for misinformation or bad-faith arguments to warp perceptions.

#beto o'rourke #2020 #democratic primary #2020 election #politics

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stereksecretsanta · 5 years

Text

Merry Christmas, @FroggyDarren!

Happy holidays! I hope you like it! Sorry, the plot kind of ran away with me! But I tried to include as many of your tags as possible!

Read on AO3

*****

Whatever It Takes

Derek tapped the steering wheel, his mind half a mile away as he cruised down the interstate. “I could’ve told my mom we couldn’t make it this year.” He adjusted the dial on the radio until another station came back into focus.

“That would’ve drawn unwanted attention.” The young man in the backseat smiled reassuringly at him in the reflection of the rearview. “The best thing to do is to continue your lives as normally as possible, and you go to this holiday party every year.”

Derek pressed his lips together. He was sure the Department of Justice had a file on him and his daughter that “Stiles” had already read, but it was still slightly unnerving for a virtual stranger to know things about his life Derek hadn’t told him.

“It’ll be fine, Dad.” Eva lifted her head from the window and leaned into the middle seat to see him. “I’m sure Stiles knows what he’s doing, and if Deucalion shows up, Stiles can handle him, right?” She glanced at Stiles for confirmation.

He nodded. “Of course.”

Eva waved her hand in a “see” gesture and Derek sighed. “Alright. Remember, we can’t tell anyone about what you saw.”

“But Uncle Peter would find murder such an interesting dinner topic.” Her tone was only half sarcastic, but Derek still heard the underlying waver of fear. She took a breath and plowed on. “They’ll hear our heartbeats and know we’re hiding something from them anyway.” She sat forward until her elbows rested on the middle console.

Derek had to admit she had a point.

“I’ll give you both bracelets to wear,” Stiles said.

Derek tilted his head; that was an unusual defense against werewolf senses. He listened as Stiles dug around at his feet before pulling his backpack onto his lap.

“What will bracelets do?” Eva demanded, twisting around to see what Stiles was doing.

“A druid charmed them so it muddles heartbeats and scents. It makes other ’wolves think they can hear and smell what’s going on with the wearer, when really they’re hearing and smelling what they expect to hear and smell.” Stiles wrestled a zipper into submission, grinning as he looked through a smaller pocket inside the main one. “There’s also a panic button in the middle bead. You hold it for three seconds and my partners with the Marshalls will know your location and come help you.”

Eva raised a questioning brow at Derek.

He hadn’t heard of anything like that either.

“So,” Derek began slowly, “if something happens to Eva, I won’t be able to tell?”

Eva frowned, shrinking back into her seat. Since witnessing Deucalion tear one of his pack members to shreds, nightmares and anxiety had plagued her.

“Absolutely not,” Stiles said sharply, pulling two straw woven bracelets from his bag. “If you listen and smell close enough you can tell there’s something wrong with the wearer, but unless you suspect something, it’s hard to tell.”

Derek chanced a glance over his shoulder at the jewelry. Large wooden beads hung from various points. It looked like a child had made it at summer camp. He sniffed; he couldn’t smell the distinct citrus tinge of magic, only the straw and cedar wood, which was probably the point, he realized.

“Who made those?” Eva asked. She frowned, reaching out to touch one.

Stiles handed it over. “Didn’t you make them?”

“No,” Eva said flatly.

Derek barked a laugh at her tone.

Stiles motioned to the bracelet. “Hold onto that and tell your dad you made it.” His gaze skipped up to Derek’s. “Listen to her heartbeat and see if you can tell she’s lying.”

“Alright.” Derek nodded, willing to play along if that meant ensuring their safety. He tuned in immediately to the familiar thump of Eva’s heart; it was calm and strong at the moment, despite the situation. He listened as the beads clacked.

“I made these for us,” Eva said, looking up at Derek.

He could tell she didn’t expect it to work.

Her heart slowed for a fraction of a second but the tell-tale skip of a beat and quickening wasn’t there.

“Huh.” Stiles had been right; he knew something was wrong but if he hadn’t been listening as closely as he was he wouldn’t have realized anything out of the ordinary. “Cool trick.”

“It worked?” Eva gasped. She flung the bracelet over Derek’s shoulder onto his lap. “Tell me a lie, I want to hear.”

“It can’t take back words,” Stiles said quickly. “So if you say the wrong thing, there’s no take backs or “I didn’t mean that”, because then they’d look closer and realized something is wrong.”

“I think we can manage that.” Eva nudged Derek’s shoulder. “Tell me a lie.”

It took another hour before they pulled into the driveway of Derek’s childhood home. Nothing about it had changed, not that he expected it would. It twisted between trees, slowly creeping up the hill to the house.

Eva peered through the window into the trees, while Stiles did the same through the opposite window, most likely taking notes on the layout.

Cars were parked and double parked in front of the garage. Derek recognized them all on sight and sighed. He and Eva were the last ones to arrive, again. Which meant a huge welcome and lots of attention.

He turned the car off, listening as Stiles and Eva scrambled around in the back to gather loose items that had escaped on the journey. Shadows moved behind the curtains next to the front door, giving them a brief warning before it banged open, casting a long glow of light across the dimming drive.

“Aunt Cora!” Eva shrieked. She launched herself from the car, flying across the driveway.

Cora caught her around the middle, stumbling backwards until she landed on her bottom in front of the door in a tangle of teeth and claws.

“Does it make you feel better to assert your dominance over a child?” Derek slid from the car. It was nice to be home. Familiar scents wafted from the open door. Even from this far away, he could smell his mom’s cooking and hear his dad trying to distract Laura’s eldest from charging after Cora.

Cora knelt on Eva’s back, effectively pinning her to the ground but loose enough for Eva to slip out if she desperately wanted to.

“I assert dominance equally amongst all my nieces and nephews.” She straightened but held her grip on Eva’s shirt to reduce the chances of round two.

“One of these days someone’s going to get the best of you.” Derek walked around the back of the car and opened the trunk.

Stiles came up next to him, his own bag already over his shoulder. “I can help carry these in,” he said, scooping up a duffel bag.

“Thank you. Eva, get your bag.” Derek stepped around the side of the car, watching Cora in case she decided to retaliate while Eva’s back was turned.

Eva shuffled back to the car, clamoring into the backseat to grab her forgotten backpack.

“Who’s that?” Cora asked once Derek stepped onto the front porch.

He looked up at her words.

She stared around him toward the car, and since she obviously knew who Eva was, there was only one answer.

“Stiles.”

Cora’s arm shot out, barring his path to the front door.

“Who’s Stiles?” she asked sweetly, eyes glinting mischievously. “You didn’t say you were bringing someone.”

Derek floundered. Of course he’d told his mom he was bringing someone; it would have been rude to show up with a guest unannounced. The way Cora was smirking, though, set him on edge. He and Stiles had come up with a story, a good story: they had met in college. It was vague enough and believable enough to hopefully answer all questions. Cora's smirk widened and Derek was an adult, he had a ten-year-old daughter and no reason to be so easily provoked by his little sister. This was ridiculous. He wasn't— "My boyfriend." Oh, shit.

Cora cackled, throwing her head back with the force of it. “Derek finally found someone!”

Derek’s jaw hit the floor. That wasn't what he meant. Only half the thought had come out. He opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. He couldn’t take the words back; Stiles had said not to, or was this an exception? He didn’t want to cause this plan to fail so early, but what had he just done?

Somewhere in the back of the car, Eva groaned into the seat cushion.

A wiry arm looped through Derek’s and his heart sank somewhere to around his knees.

Stiles was going to kill him. This wasn’t what they’d talked about at all.

“It’s nice to finally meet you.” Stiles grinned, falling into the part seamlessly while Derek fell further into guilt.

Cora took a deep breath, calming herself enough to shake Stiles’s free hand. “Nice to meet you, too. Derek’ll show you where his old room is. Oh my Gods—Mom!”

“I heard. Let them inside so they don’t freeze.” Talia appeared behind her.

“I’m coming, too!” Eva called from the car, wiggling backwards through the door, bag clutched to her chest.

Derek followed Cora inside.

Stiles stepped after them, still holding onto his arm.

Talia wrapped Derek in a warm hug, brushing a kiss across the top of his head before pulling back. “It’s lovely to meet you, Stiles.” Talia held her hands out questioningly.

Stiles let go of Derek and stepped forward, giving her a hug as well.

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour. If you’re not too tired, I hope you join us.”

“That’d be wonderful.” Stiles beamed.

Talia stepped back, snatching Eva into a hug as she darted by laughing.

“I’ll show you where the room is,” Derek muttered, seizing the chance to get out of the foyer.

The stairs to the second floor took up the right side of the entrance, looping over between the foyer and living room before turning into a hall.

Stiles followed him up, glancing over the sides of the half walls.

Eva made a quick detour into the living room below to hug Evan, Derek’s dad, before spinning around to charge up after them.

“Bathroom,” Derek pointed to the first door on the right, “bedroom.” He opened the next door, stepping into the room and dropping his bag out of the way.

“Sound proof,” Stiles observed.

Derek saw him looking at the width of the door jam; how he could tell? It was his job, Derek supposed.

Eva ducked into the room after them, launching her bag across the room where it hit the bed and bounced.

Laura muttered something suggestive at Stiles’s sound proof comment and Derek shut the door.

“I’m so sorry,” Derek breathed, looking over at where Stiles stood by the dresser. “I can go back and tell them—I don’t even know what I’m going to tell them. I messed up.”

“It’s alright.” Stiles opened a drawer curiously. “Clothes in here?”

“Yes.” Derek ran his hands over his face. “It’s not alright, I just completely fu-udged up.”

“I know what bad word you were going to say.” Eva flopped across the bed, tugging on the backpack zipper until it opened.

“How do you know what one I was going to say?” Derek fixed her with a stare.

She grinned, flashing dimples. “I love you.”

Derek let out a ragged sigh. “Love you too.” He took a breath. “Stiles, I-”

“I mean it,” Stiles interjected. He pulled his folded clothes from his bag, setting them in the drawers. “It’s fine. I’ve been worse things at shorter notice.”

“Like what?” Eva propped herself up on her elbows.

Stiles grimaced. “Nothing G rated.”

“Hey! I’m at least PG, and in a few years I’ll be PG13.” Eva sat up, swinging her legs off the side of the bed, a comic clutched close to her chest. “What’d you pretend to be?”

“We can play along for now,” Stiles said, strategically ignoring Eva. “We can even still keep the met-in-college story.”

“I switched to online classes after my first year at UC Berkeley, though.” Derek crossed the room to sit on the bed.

“So? You were still there, even briefly. Were you going to say you met me online?” Stiles chuckled. “I guess you could if you wanted.”

“No. No, no, that’d just give them more fuel for the fire.” Derek stretched his legs in front of him, working out the slight ache that came with being in a car for hours. “Met at college is still good.” He paused; two weeks was all they had to survive to get through this. Two. Weeks.

The house was loud and chaotic, just like it used to be when Derek was growing up. He made sure to keep Stiles as close as possible, lest one of his siblings snatch him away to interrogate him. Derek introduced Stiles to everyone as they passed.

Evan was guarding the food laid out on the counter and dishing out portions to whomever walked by.

David, Laura’s eldest son, made it known why guarding the food was necessary when he tried to run off with the serving plate of mashed potatoes.

“So.” Cora slid into an empty seat across from Stiles. “What classes did you two have together?”

Derek chewed furiously around the baked chicken, ready to tell Cora it wasn’t any of her business.

“We didn’t have classes together,” Stiles said before Derek could swallow.

“How’d you meet, then? Derek isn’t exactly the social type.” Cora took a small bite of potatoes, smiling at Derek.

She was getting coal for any future presents.

“We shared a dorm building.” Stiles shrugged. “It wasn’t anything special, we just saw each other in passing. Truth be told, I don’t think he even realized I existed.” He grinned at her, then glanced at Derek. “We didn’t start talking again until recently.”

Derek almost choked on the chicken. Yeah, really recently, like a week and a half recently.

“Why’d you start talking again?” Cora leaned her forearms on the table, eyes narrowed slightly.

“Cora, stop harassing them.” Peter sat next to her, setting his own plate of food down before looking around to see where his wife, Olive, and daughter, Malia, had gone.

“I think Malia went with Eva to raid the library.” Laura tugged the highchair containing her youngest child closer to her seat. “And they may or may not have convinced David to snag the ice cream bars from the freezer to take up to them. I heard something about chocolate or vanilla. I can investigate in a moment.”

Evan opened the freezer and sighed in defeat. “They took the chocolate. I’ll get it back.”

“Don’t let them get ice cream in my books!” Peter snapped, craning his neck to watch Evan leave.

“Don’t yell in my house!” Talia hollered.

A shout reverberated down the stairs. David’s voice, Derek recognized. Malia and Eva’s loud protests were short to follow.

Footsteps thundered down the steps.

“Mom, Grandpa took our ice cream!” David howled, continuing to run until he plowed into Laura’s lap. “He didn’t even ask for it, he just took it.”

“Did you ask before taking it out of the freezer?” Laura countered, gripping the high chair to keep it from toppling.

Derek watched, mildly impressed, as she comforted David, finished her own food, and continued feeding Daniel.

“No,” David grumbled. “But now he’s up there eating it by himself! I was sharing it with Malia and Eva.”

“Not in my library, he isn’t.” Peter stood quickly, plate abandoned on the table. “We’ve been through this, those are my books and ice cream will not be eaten around them.”

Stiles hid a smile behind his glass as Peter stalked from the dining room muttering.

Derek smiled as well; at least Stiles found his family amusing instead of irritating. Even he knew they could be a handful when gathered in one place for any amount of time.

“Dad.” Eva hopped up to the table. “Malia says—ooh, Stiles, you might be able to help with this.”

Derek gaped.

“You’ve been replaced.” Laura grinned, wiping food off of Daniel’s chin and hands. She scooped him up from the high chair, dislodging David from her lap. “Goodnight, everyone.”

Daniel flapped his hand as everyone said goodnight back.

David rubbed his eyes. “I’m going in the living room with Malia.”

“One more hour, then bed,” Laura said.

David nodded, slipping off into the other room.

Eva glanced back at Derek. “You don’t read comic books, and I’ve seen the Venom comics Stiles thought he was hiding.”

Stiles lifted his hands in surprised surrender, then frowned worriedly. “Those aren’t G-rated.”

“PG.” Eva pointed to herself.

“They’re not even PG, I doubt your dad would approve of you reading those.” He glanced at Derek, who nodded.

“Not until you’re older, Eves. I’ve at least heard about those ones.”

“You haven’t read them?” Stiles gasped, hand flying over his heart in mock horror.

“This isn’t about Venom, this is about Spiderman.” Eva crossed her arms, squeezing her way between the table and Derek until she could sit on his lap and face Stiles. “Out of the movies, which Spiderman is better?”

“The original,” Stiles said.

“No.” Eva shook her head. “You and Malia said the same thing, but you’re wrong. The Amazing Spiderman is better, even though there’s only two movies.”

“Maybe the original has more movies because more people liked it,” Stiles retorted.

“Nope.” Eva shook her head. “You need a first draft before a final copy. I refuse to accept that.”

Stiles’s mouth fell open and his eyes crinkled in amusement.

Derek could almost see the laugh bubble up from within him until it exploded, shaking his whole body with it.

Derek chuckled as well; Stiles’s laughter was infectious.

“I want to watch Spiderman tonight,” Eva announced. She tilted her head back to look at Derek. “Please? I brought the DVD.”

“I suppose one movie won’t be bad. We’ll set it up in my room, though, so we can just go to sleep afterwards.”

“Yes! I’ll go get the DVD out.” Eva jumped up from Derek’s lap, taking the steps two at a time, being careful not to disturb her cousins.

Malia and David were sprawled on the couch.

Malia leaned against the armrest, eyes slowly slipping closed as a documentary about ocean life played in the background.

And David, as far as Derek could tell, was already out cold, starfished across the oversized ottoman.

“I’ll take him to the room in a moment,” Sam said softly, coming into the room from the kitchen and following Derek’s gaze. “Laura’s almost got Daniel asleep, and she’ll kill me if we wake him up.” A small smile curled the side of his mouth. He stretched his legs out under the table, head tilted in the direction of the bedroom as he listened for Laura’s cue that it was okay to come in.

“I’ll go help Eva, then we’re probably off to bed too.” He stood to follow, and glanced at Stiles for confirmation.

Stiles nodded, rising to his feet. “See you in the morning.” He arched his back, stretching his arms over his head.

The hem of his shirt lifted enough to expose the flesh around his hips and Derek forced himself to look away. That was not appropriate behavior, he told himself. They were pretending to be boyfriends, that didn’t mean he had the right to ogle.

Sam smiled at them. “Goodnight.”

Eva sat waiting for him on the bed covers, her face split in a wide grin.

“It’s bed when the movie’s over,” Derek reiterated, inserting the disk she’d laid out on the dresser next to the TV.

“Okay.” She wiggled back until she could pull the covers over her legs and leaned back against the pillows and headboard.

Derek glanced around the room.

The bed was a queen, and could possibly fit the three of them if they had to. Stiles was, in fact, still a stranger to them though, despite telling his family otherwise. His gaze flicked to the door. Like Stiles had noticed earlier, the rooms were soundproofed, so the thought of putting him in an entirely different room than Eva when she was the one he was protecting wasn’t the best idea either.

Stiles needed to be able to intervene quickly if anything happened.

“I’ve got some work I need to get done on my computer,” Stiles said slowly. If he noticed Derek’s predicament, he didn’t show it. Instead, he motioned to a small armchair in the corner of the room. “Mind if I use that and a couple of the outlets?”

Derek waved his hand. “Go ahead, anything you need.”

Derek climbed into the bed next to Eva, gaze slipping to the TV screen. He had until the end of the movie, or at least until Stiles was done with his work, to think of a place for him to sleep.

The bed sunk beneath his weight. It felt nice to stretch out, his muscles relaxing after being held stiff for so long.

He listened to Eva’s steady heartbeat next to him, strong and rhythmic, even though he knew she wasn’t asleep yet. They were safe here. Even with the door closed between him and the rest of the pack he could sense their presence close by.

His eyes burned against the brightness of the TV in the dark. Slowly, he felt them slip closed.

Eva rested her head on his arm.

Derek could feel her body move with each breath; he could almost feel the tension leaving her body as she sank lower into the bed next to him. She felt safe here, too.

He distantly heard the clacking of Stiles typing on his computer. A smile twitched sleepily against his lips. Stiles would keep watch for them, at least for now.

Eva twisted next to him, yanking the blankets away.

Derek’s eyes flew open. The room was darker than it had been before and the TV was off; only the dim glow from the DVD player and clock on the nightstand lit the room. It only took a second for Derek’s wolf senses to kick in, vision sharpening as everything came into a hazy focus.

Eva’s lip quivered. Her claws extended and retracted into the comforter, body folded forward in on herself, trying to escape from whatever or whoever was in her dream.

Derek set a hand on her shoulder. “Shh, it’s alright.”

She leaned into his touch but didn’t relax.

Sudden movement by the wall made Derek jump, head flying up, fangs dropping over his bottom lip.

Stiles lifted his hands in a placating gesture. “Just me,” he whispered.

Derek blinked. The clock said it was just past four in the morning, and Stiles was standing by the chair he’d been in before Derek had fallen asleep.

“Have you been awake all night?” Derek asked, doing his best to keep his voice low.

Eva rolled toward him, curling up against his chest.

He brought a hand up to her back, gently rubbing small circles to try and calm her more.

Stiles gave a one shouldered shrug. “Not all night.” He looked toward the window.

The curtains had been drawn, cutting off any light that could possibly seep in.

Stiles gently pushed the side of the curtain away. Dull moonlight illuminated his face as he peered out into the trees.

Derek breathed slowly, straining his ears. He could only the thumping heartbeats of Stiles and Eva and the occasional creak of wood under the carpet as Stiles shifted his weight.

“She’s okay.” Derek looked down at Eva in his arms. Her face had smoothed out and her claws relaxed back into hands. “Just another bad dream.” He tucked an arm around her protectively, pulling her closer.

Stiles nodded, hand slipping from the curtain. It swung shut, casting the room back into darkness. “I’m going to go get some water, check the house; just in case.” He stepped up to the dresser, grabbing an oversized hoodie and pulling it on. “I’ll be back.”

The bedroom door opened soundlessly and Stiles stepped out into the hall, pulling the door behind him but not shutting it all the way.

Derek watched him go. He could hear Stiles’s socked feet pad down the hall. The footsteps grew harder to hear when Stiles reached the stairs.

It wasn’t long before the footsteps returned. Derek listened as they came up the stairs, and down the hall.

The distinct scent of coffee and hot chocolate hit his olfactory senses by the time the door opened slowly.

Stiles’s face appeared around the corner. He smiled weakly. “I wasn’t sure if you’d gone back to sleep.”

Derek sat up against the headboard frowning.

Stiles held two mugs in his hands as he stepped into the room. He twisted, carefully closing the door with his elbow.

It’d be stupid to ask what Stiles was holding when he could clearly smell what it was from the bed. But... “Why?”

Stiles hesitated mid step halfway across the room.

“Your dad was awake.” Stiles held the hot chocolate out to Derek. “He asked if everything was alright, so I told him Eva had a nightmare.”

Derek took the drink, bringing it up to his nose and savoring the scent. He hadn’t had hot chocolate in years.

Eva prefered apple cider.

“He said you liked hot chocolate and I was welcome to the coffee.” Stiles grinned. “He has no idea what he just did. There won’t be any coffee in the house by the time we leave.”

Derek chuffed. “You’ll be up against Peter and Cora then, but be my guest. I’ll cheer for you, from the safety of the sidelines.”

The smell of the drink was intoxicating. He could remember one or both of his parents bringing him hot chocolate after a bad day, and just sitting with him. He’d sit in their lap on the bed until he felt better. And when he’d gotten older, they’d sit in the same chair Stiles had been using, while he took up the bed, talking with him until he felt better.

“Thank you,” Derek said. He took a tentative sip of the drink, happily surprised to find it cool enough to not take the skin off the roof of his mouth.

“You’re welcome.” Stiles sat back in the chair, hunching over his mug, breathing in the steam.

“Do you want to get some sleep? I can scoot over.” Derek inched Eva closer to the bedroom door, scooting behind her to give Stiles room to crawl under the covers if he chose too.

Stiles smiled softly. “No, thank you. Part of the training is to function on a few hours of sleep, at least for a short time. I’d rather be awake.” He took a sip of his coffee, wincing at the heat. He glanced back at Derek. “You can go back to sleep if you want. I can hold down the fort for a little while.”

Derek had no doubt Stiles could do just that, but even if he tried to go back to sleep, he didn’t feel like he could. “I’m awake for now,” he said. He rubbed his thumb along the handle of the mug. “Thank you for all your help.” He stared down at the mug for a second, then looked back up. “With Eva, and with my dumb self.”

“No problem.” Stiles tucked his feet beneath him. “It’s part of the job.”

Derek dropped his chin to his chest. “Yeah.”

Eva popped awake shortly after seven. She bounded across the room, scooping up clothes on her way to the bathroom. She swung the door open and froze.

Derek looked up, alarmed at the sudden increase in her pulse. Physically, she looked fine. And he couldn’t hear or smell anything out of the ordinary. Multiple voices came from down stairs, but they were all from pack.

She looked over her shoulder at Derek, a large grin splitting her face. “I smell bacon!”

Sam’s voice bellowed up to them. “I MADE BACON!”

“Save me some!” Eva yelled, leaping toward the bathroom.

Derek chuckled. “Getting her up for school is like pulling teeth, but when she can sleep in, she’s up at the crack of dawn.”

Stiles nodded, closing his laptop. “It’s the way of kids. I can remember doing the same thing to my dad.”

“Good morning!” Sam greeted, hoisting Daniel higher on his hip.

A line of drool dangled from his mouth to his shirt.

“Where’s the bacon?” Eva asked, craning her neck to see around her uncle.

“Manners, Eva.” Derek stepped around her to wash his mug in the sink.

“Where’s the bacon, please?” Eva tried again.

Sam chuckled and motioned to a plate in the center of the table. “Help yourself, I’ve got more in the oven.”

“Thank you.” Eva jumped into an empty seat, dragging the plate toward her.

Derek sighed. He pulled a clean plate from the cabinet and set it in front of Eva, pushing the serving plate back into the center.

Eva beamed up at him in complete innocence.

Sam wiped Daniel’s face with a burp rag. “You guys are up bright and early.”

“The curse of vacation.” Stiles stepped up behind Eva, snagging a piece of bacon for himself before she could protest.

“That was a dangerous move.” Sam grinned.

Eva frowned, staring at the plate in contemplation. “I’ll share with you, Stiles,” she said carefully. “If you change your opinion on the Spiderman movies.” She cast him a sly glance.

“Nope.” Stiles grinned back, stepping out of her reach as he continued to take deliberately small bites from the bacon strip.

“I smell coffee,” Peter grumbled.

Derek looked up in time to see him round the corner. He had deep bags under his eyes and his clothes were sleep rumpled.

“Shirts on backwards.” Eva pointed to the tag sticking poking out from the front of his shirt.

Peter blinked bearlily down at it for a moment. “So it is.” He didn’t bother lifting his gaze, he only followed the scent of coffee to the pot.

“Good morning,” Sam greeted.

Peter grunted, pouring himself a cup.

“Olive and Malia joining us?” Sam asked, glancing behind Peter like he expected the two to suddenly appear. “They’re usually up before you.”

“They already left,” Peter said into his cup.

Eva’s head popped up. “Left where?”

Peter shrugged. “A run, probably. Somewhere on the property.” He leaned against the counter, resting his head on the cabinet above. “Laura and David still asleep?”

“She wishes.” Sam smiled. He set Daniel at his feet, wiggling a teether in front of him until he took it. “She’s trying to get David to shower. He keeps insisting he’s going to jump in the creek later so he doesn’t need to shower today.”

“It’s a bit cold for a swim,” Peter noted. “Smells like snow outside.”

“Let him jump in the creek, it’s what we did as kids.” Evan ducked into the kitchen, stepping around Peter and Derek until he could join Eva at the table.

“And you smelled like stale creek water for days, I’m sure,” Peter grumbled. He tipped his cup back, draining the contents in a few quick swallows before filling it again.

Stiles threw Derek a wide eyed glance.

Derek chuckled. “I told you, you’d have to fight Peter and Cora for the coffee.”

Peter looked up and over at them, brows pulled down. “I’ll start another pot.”

“No, it’s okay.” Stiles shrugged. “I shouldn’t drink as much coffee as I do anyway.”

“I’m starting another pot for me,” Peter corrected, turned back to the machine. “And maybe Cora if she ever gets down here.”

Stiles nodded and turned to Derek. “Do you think we could go see the property?” He bounced up and down on the balls of his feet. “I bet it’s lovely.”

Derek straightened. He hadn’t thought about showing Stiles the rest of the land, but that made sense.

Stiles would probably feel better knowing what surrounded them in case Deucalion did show.

“Yeah.” Derek glanced at Eva.

She was finishing the bacon she’d piled on her plate.

“We can go when Eva’s done eating, if you’d like.”

Eva looked up, brow furrowed. “I don’t want to go out in the cold.”

“Once we start moving you’ll warm up,” Derek said. He didn’t think leaving her home, even with the pack, was the best idea. And surely she knew that, she knew Stiles was there to watch after her, not him. “It’ll be fun,” Derek insisted. “Stiles hasn’t seen any of the territory, he might get lost without us.”

Eva tossed her head back, staring up at the ceiling. “I want to stay here. It’s warm, and there’s food.”

“It’s alright, you don’t have to come along,” Stiles said.

Derek’s head snapped toward him. The motion didn’t go unnoticed.

Peter set his coffee cup down, slyly watching from the corner of his gaze.

Evan lifted an eyebrow, lips pressed together thoughtfully. He glanced at Sam, who shrugged.

“If your dad approves, I was thinking you might like to read some of the comics I brought.” Stiles looked up at Derek. “He has to approve of what ones you can read, though. Since I won’t be here to miss them, this might be your best opportunity.” He grinned.

Eva’s face lit up. “Dad, can I?” She twisted to face Stiles. “What ones did you bring? Are they in your backpack?” She jumped from the chair. It wobbled onto two of its legs before thunking back to the ground.

“Let’s go see what Stiles brought.” Derek motioned for her to go.

Eva shrieked, tearing off toward the stairs.

Derek and Stiles followed behind.

They entered the bedroom and Derek swiftly shut the door. “Eva’s supposed to be the one in protection.” He lifted his hands to his hair. “Why did you say she could stay behind? What if something happens while she’s here?”

Eva paused in her rush to get to Stiles’s bag, shoulders hunched and the scent of guilt slowly seeping off of her.

Stiles picked up his backpack, setting it gently on the bed. “Forcing her to go would only cause a scene. Unless you often have to persuade her to join you outside? Besides, being with the majority of her pack is as much protection, if not more, than I could provide.”

“I can go,” Eva said softly.

Derek watched as she crawled on the bed next to Stiles.

“I didn’t mean- I didn’t realize. I forgot.” She ducked her head. “But I don’t want to go.” She looked back up, eyes pleading for Derek to understand.

“You don’t have to go.” Stiles unzipped his bag, tossing back the flap to reveal at least a dozen comics. He quickly removed the Venom ones from the pile, setting them off to the side. “What you do have to do though,” he fixed Eva with a look, “is stay as close to Grandma Talia as you can.”

“Why?” Eva asked, reaching into the bag to scoot the comics around with a finger.

“She’s the Alpha,” Stiles said. “Your dad and I would be the best options to watch after you right now, but if you really don’t want to go with us, you can stay with Talia and have a comic to read.”

Eva picked up one of the comics, flipping through the pages slowly, avoiding eye contact with either of them.

“Decision?” Derek prompted after a seconds silence.

“Grandma Talia and the comic,” Eva muttered. “This one okay?” She held it up so Derek could see the Spiderman cover.

“Looks okay to me.” Derek ran a hand over his face. “Stiles?”

“That one’s good,” he agreed.

“Thank you, Stiles.” Eva clutched the comic to her chest. “Thank you, Dad.”

“You’re welcome,” Derek said.

Eva stood and wrapped her arms around Derek’s middle. “I love you.”

“Love you too, kiddo.” Derek hugged her back.

She let go, turning and diving into Stiles before he had much of a chance to react.

He tilted sideways, bracing himself against the bed with his unpinned arm.

“Be careful,” Eva said into his shirt.

“Always.” Stiles gave her a brief hug. “We’ll be back soon.”

Eva stepped back, toward the door. “I’ll go find Grandma Talia.”

Once Eva left, Stiles changed into warmer clothes and tugged on a pair hiking boots.

Cold air rushed against Derek’s face as he slid open the back door.

The sun was just starting to peek through the trunks, casting long shadows across the deck and ground.

Stiles stepped out after him.

The deck was bare at the moment. In the warmer months Talia and Evan set out furniture, often choosing to serve meals outside instead of indoors.

Stiles flapped his arms against the cold. “Peter wasn’t joking.” He crossed the deck to the stairs that led down to the trees, glancing back only once to see if Derek was following.

“He doesn’t joke often, and if he does it goes over most of our heads.” Derek crossed the deck in three steps, jumping lightly over the stairs.

Stiles squinted into the sunlight at the trees. His breath fogged the air, and he brought a hand up to shield his eyes.

“There’s quite a bit of land.” Derek fell into step next to him, happy to let him lead the way for now. “Fifty something acres. We can come out again later if you get too cold.”

Stiles barked a laugh. “I’ve got layers, I’ll be fine.” He dropped his hand from his face, turning onto a narrow, beaten trail. “Let’s follow this one for now.”

Derek kept up with Stiles’s pace. Their shoes crunched against the frosted earth, and birds flapped in the branches above them, sending a rain of pine needles on the path around them.

“We’ll hit the creek up around the bend.” Derek pointed to where the trail turned left. “It could be dry by now, but most likely there will still be some water.”

“I won’t jump in,” Stiles promised. He smiled. “Thanks for the heads up, though.”

Derek tipped his head back, scenting the air.

The iconic stale water smell assaulted his nose, quickly followed by the muted, earthy scent of mud.

Derek sped up, passing Stiles and putting himself a few steps ahead of him. Could Stiles even cross the creek without getting wet? He was human. He’d probably contract hypothermia or pneumonia.

Stiles huffed.

Derek heard Stiles’s footsteps grow faster, a sharp, bitter scent wafted from him as he passed Derek and took the lead himself. His face set firmly, arms swinging by his sides.

Derek hesitated mid step. Had Stiles heard something he’d missed? He’d been focused on the creek, but... He looked around. Nothing seemed out of ordinary. The brown ground, with the slightly lighter brown tree trunks, and the brown and golden leaves on the ground. Nothing was wrong.

He looked after Stiles cautiously.

Stiles turned, grinning over his shoulder. “Why’d you slow down?”

Derek smiled, heart evening out. Nothing was wrong at all. Stiles had been playing. He closed the distance between them. No sooner had he reached Stiles’s side than Stiles began to run.

Stiles’s long stride carried him quickly away.

Derek blinked at the sudden burst of speed.

Of course Stiles would be fast on his feet. He may be human but he also worked with wolves and had to be able to keep up if he needed to give chase.

The creek widened before them, tendrils of frigid water winding their way around muddied islands.

Stiles jumped the first stream, landing on the center island, then launched himself clear to the other side, not even stumbling when the ground caved beneath his foot.

Derek ran faster, gaining momentum until he hit the creek edge. He jumped. The air ruffled his hair and he landed on the other side, feet sliding in the loose ground.

In front of him, Stiles laughed.

Sticks and leaves crumbled under their feet with each pounding step. Stiles gained the lead. Then Derek. Stiles. Derek.

Derek frowned. Everytime he caught up to Stiles, he managed to slip farther ahead. It seemed the only way to gain the lead was to shift. But that wouldn’t be fair. Stiles couldn’t shift.

Stiles disappeared around a bend.

Somehow he was winning.

“Come on, slowpoke.” Stiles’s voice floated back.

Derek shifted. His bones and muscles flexed and tensed. The familiar stretch and shrinking of limbs had him relaxing into the feeling.

Four paws hit the ground and the forest came into clearer focus.

Derek ran, flying down the trail after Stiles’s scent. He heard Stiles’s footsteps first, then the steady thump of his heart, and whoosh of his breath.

Stiles glanced behind him when Derek came into sight. His eyes grew wide, mouth spreading into a grin, but he didn’t stop.

Derek came level with him, matching him in pace.

Stiles glanced at him again and laughed. Happiness flooded from him in waves, a tangled mix of cinnamon and honey that Derek savored.

Derek leaned closer to him, to the smell. It was nice, intoxicating even, and he wanted to remember it.

Stiles bumped against him, startling him from his thoughts and causing his steps to falter.

The slight distraction gave Stiles enough time to gain the lead. Again.

Two could play at that game.

Derek leapt forward, paws sliding briefly against the dirt. When Stiles came within distance, Derek pounced. He landed on Stiles’s back, paws hitting his shoulder blades.

Stiles’s knees buckled, toppling both of them.

Derek shifted mid-fall, twisting them both until Stiles landed on top of him instead of getting brained against the ground.

“I didn’t think that through,” Derek huffed, breathing quickly from the chase.

Stiles laughed, resting his forehead against Derek’s shoulder.

Derek closed his eyes, taking in the weight on top of him and Stiles’s scent. Happy, calm, content. Under the pleasant smells, something bitter lurked. He frowned, cracking his eyes to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

Stiles pushed against his chest, levering himself up. “Nothing.”

If he hadn’t been listening, he wouldn’t have heard it. As it was, Stiles’s heart slowed a fraction of a beat: he was lying. “I’m sorry.” Derek sat up next to him.

Stiles looked up quickly, his face riddled with concern.

Derek continued, “I’m sorry if I did something to upset you.”

Stiles gave a small smile. “I’m not upset.” Lie. “This is the happiest I’ve been in a while.” Truth. His head tipped forward, his smile widening. He looked up through his lashes, lips parted on the verge of speaking.

Derek’s heart swooped nervously, but his nerves tingled, giddy with excitement.

Stiles’s gaze slid past Derek’s shoulder, unfocused in thought. He licked his lips, stalling the words he’d so clearly been about to say.

“It’s al-” Derek began, and faltered.

Stiles’s eyes narrowed. His body went rigid, scent shifting to something intense, focused.

Derek turned. The tree trunks around them looked just the ones by the house. Normal.

Stiles rolled free of Derek, rising to his feet.

Derek scrambled to his feet, vision sharpening. He felt his eyes begin to glow, claws descending from his fingertips.

Stiles’s previously-loud footsteps had gone soundless as he crept forward, like a predator stalking his prey.

Derek followed, muscles tensing. He couldn’t smell anything or anyone around.

Stiles ducked under a low hanging branch, stopping when he reached the trunk. He trailed a hand over the rough bark and Derek saw it: a black tuft of fur flapping lightly in the breeze.

“What color fur do Malia and Olive have?” His fingers stopped just short of it.

“Malia’s red-brown, Olive’s gray.” Derek inched closer to Stiles, careful not to go past him. “Peter, Mom, and I have black fur.”

“You haven’t been out here.” Stiles straightened, looking around them as one hand hovered near his waist. “Have Peter or Talia been out here lately?”

Derek’s heart thumped faster, a cold chill running down his spine. “Not that I know of.” He leaned closer to the tuft, taking in a deep breath. Anger. Blood. Unfamiliar, illogical rage. The hair on his neck and arms rose. Not pack. “It’s Deuc’s.”

Stiles nodded, like he’d already assumed as much. His fingers twitched. “We need to get home.” He twisted, running back the way they’d come.

Derek took off after him, shifting again. How had Deucalion tracked them so quickly here? 600 miles away from home, where Eva had seen Deucalion tear Ennis to pieces. He has resources, Derek told himself. That’s part of the reason he’s so dangerous. With Eva as the only witness to tie him to the recent string of murders, she was the only one standing between him and freedom. There wasn’t enough physical evidence alone to send him to prison.

Derek dragged himself away from the bad thoughts, focusing instead on Stiles’s pace and trying to match it.

Everything would be okay. Eva was okay.

Images of the house in shambles danced through his mind. He went breathless with panic, anxiety making his lungs feel too small for the air he needed. His vision went narrow as they raced home, where he’d left his child, his baby, virtually unprotected.

When the house came into sight, Derek breathed a sigh of relief; it was still standing. Through the back door and windows, he could see that almost everyone had moved to the living room.

“Go,” Stiles snapped. “Get inside.” He cut to the left, reaching for something at his waist.

Derek didn’t need telling twice. He shook off his shift and hurled himself up the porch steps and into the house; the door was unlocked because it was always unlocked. He slammed it behind himself.

Sam looked up from helping David build a Lego house. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Where’s Eva?”

“With me. What’s going on?” Talia asked. She was walking, heading toward the living room from the library.

“Nothing.” He looked wildly at the windows. They were so exposed out here.

Talia entered the room with Eva obediently at her heels.

She looked at Derek and immediately grew tense, her face looking young and pale.

“Where’s Stiles?” Laura asked, bouncing Daniel on her knee to sooth his fussing. She still had bedhead, with a coffee stain on the front of her pajama shirt. She yawned.

“He’s—outside.”

“Is he hurt?” Talia prompted.

Peter came out of the kitchen next, interest piqued. “Ooh, does he need first aid?”

“No, no, stop, he’s fine, nothing—nothing’s wrong.”

Footsteps clattered toward the front door.

Derek’s heart stopped before he recognized Olive’s distinctive gait and Malia’s squeaky sneakers. He ran for the door and whipped it open. He went breathless with fear at the scent of blood and terror.

“What happened?” Talia barked, rushing toward them.

“Strange wolf on the property,” Olive snarled. “He tried to grab Malia.”

Derek slammed the door behind them, flipping the lock.

Eva whimpered.

He squeezed his eyes shut briefly before going to scoop her up protectively.

Peter went to check on Malia.

“I’m fine, Dad,” Malia muttered. “Mom was totally gonna kick his butt.”

Olive smiled slightly.

Eva buried her face against Derek’s throat.

“I didn’t get to do anything.” Olive looked at Derek, bewildered. “Stiles showed up with a gun and told us to get back to the house, to keep everyone inside.”

“A gun?” Talia demanded. “Where-” She looked at Derek, her gaze flicking down to Eva.

He clutched her tighter.

Outside, unearthly snarls echoed, making Eva whine and cling to Derek’s neck. A roar shook the windows.

Talia bared her teeth.

“Mom, can you take Eva?” Derek swallowed against every instinct that told him to hold her tight and run while he could. “She’s safest with you.”

She skeptically held her arms out. “We need an explanation, Derek.”

“No!” Eva squirmed out of his arms. “No, it’s my—my fault!”

“Eva, you know it isn’t,” Derek soothed.

Outside, Stiles cursed. A shot fired.

In the back of his mind, Derek wondered where Stiles had stashed a gun.

Deucalion roared.

Eva started crying. “It is! It is, and now Stiles is gonna get hurt and—” She cried harder, until her words were incomprehensible.

Talia gathered her up before Derek could.

The scent of fresh blood seeped into the house.

Derek bolted to the foyer, peering out one of the windows flanking the front door.

Stiles was crouched beside Laura’s car, panting and holding a handgun. “Put your hands behind your head and get on the ground!” he shouted.

Deucalion was standing in the yard halfway between Stiles and the house. He cocked his head. His nostrils flared. He looked toward the house.

Derek swallowed.

He was trying to choose who to kill first.

“Keep the kids in there,” Derek commanded softly. He opened the door and stepped onto the porch, claws and fangs at the ready. If Deucalion came this way, maybe he could stall him long enough for the others to get away.

Inside, Eva let out a soft cry of protest.

Stiles didn’t look up; all of his attention was on his target. “You’re already injured, Deucalion, and back-up is on the way. You’re done.”

He snarled and stalked toward the cars. “You think you can hold me?!” He moved with purpose. “You think your pathetic human weapons can stop me?”

Stiles tracked his movement carefully, rounding the cars and keeping low.

Derek’s hands twitched; Deucalion was getting awfully close, and he knew it, too, his eyes blazing with triumph.

Deucalion sprang toward Laura’s car. “I am the-”

Stiles stood up behind him and shot him behind the shoulder twice. “You’re under arrest, Deucalion Emery, for the murder of Ennis Wade.” He didn’t hesitate; he shoved Deucalion to the ground.

“How—how—” He couldn’t seem to speak.

“A very special blend of wolfsbane, just for you,” Stiles said flatly. “You have the right to remain silent.” He yanked his arms behind his back and produced handcuffs from his belt. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be…”

While Stiles read Deucalion his Mirandas, Derek stood, stunned.

“Daddy?” Eva called softly.

He shook himself. He had other important things to take care of, and Stiles had this well in hand. “It’s fine, Eves. Everything is fine.” He went and took her from Talia.

“Can we go check on Stiles?” she whispered, wiping her eyes on his shirt.

Derek glanced at the door. “We’ll have to stay inside, but we can look out the door, okay?”

She nodded.

Over her head, Talia was staring at Derek like she’d never seen him before.

Stiles looked up sharply when the door opened; he only relaxed a little when he saw them. “Don’t get too close; he’s dosed up, but I never trust it.”

“When did you call for back-up?” Derek asked cautiously.

Stiles held his wrist up; his bracelet clacked gently. “Panic button. Yours both have one, too, remember?”

Derek snorted. “Of course.”

“Did he get you?” Eva asked tearfully. “You’re bleeding.” Her voice shook.

“No, he didn’t. A tree got me.” He made a face; she laughed wetly.

A police cruiser pulled into the driveway a few minutes later.

Derek held onto Eva, watching the young man in the driverseat, who couldn’t have been any older than Stiles.

Deucalion struggled weakly against the laced bullets, lips curling into a soundless snarl.

Stiles glanced over his shoulder at the newly arrived car. “Scotty!” His face, slightly reddened from the tussle, broke out into a grin. “If you take him in, I’ll handle the paperwork?”

Scott opened the car door, gaze flicking over the scene before you, face taut. “You alright?” His nostrils flared and Derek caught the scent of ‘wolf. Scott closed the distance between them.

Stiles stepped back, keeping himself between Deucalion and the house. “Yeah, stupid tree.”

Scott snorted, a smile toying with his lips. “Yeah, curse those trees and their nasty limbs. They’re out to get you.” He hauled Deucalion to his feet, not bothering to wait for the alpha to get his footing before dragging him toward the car.

Stiles glanced back toward the house. His shoulders relaxed when his gaze landed on Derek and Eva. He smiled.

Scott opened the back door, pushing Deucalion into the backseat. He looked from Stiles to Derek and back again. “I’ll, uh, take him in. You said you’d do paperwork?”

“I’ll have it in by tomorrow,” Stiles said, turning back to him.

Scott nodded. “Be safe. I’ll see you back at headquarters.”

Eva jerked forward, the sudden motion catching Derek by surprise and giving her a split second head start across the driveway.

Scott paused halfway around the cruiser, hand trailing across the hood.

Derek was a step behind her when she hurled herself into Stiles.

Stiles stumbled back a step. He wrapped his arms around her. “It’s alright, he won’t hurt you.”

Derek stopped just shy of plowing into Stiles himself.

Scott nodded at him over the top of Eva’s head, climbing into the cruiser.

“Are you alright?” Derek asked. He could still smell blood, though not as strongly as before. “You’re hurt.”

Eva loosened her grip but didn’t completely let go.

Stiles looked at Derek, an eyebrow lifted. “You’re naked.”

“Inside, both of you.” Talia swept toward them, motioning both of them back to the house. She placed a hand on Stiles’s shoulder, gently pushing him toward the door. Her gaze cut to Derek. “I expect an explanation.”

Derek nodded, “After Stiles is seen to.”

Eva guided Stiles into the living room despite his protests. By the time they’d reached the couch his protests had died into resignation. She wiped her tear stained cheeks on the back of her sleeve, squinting at him scrutinizingly.

“Where are you injured?” she demanded.

“I knew we’d need that first aid kit eventually,” Peter called. He strode through the room to the hall bathroom.

Derek listened to him rummaging in the cabinet and sat next to Stiles.

Stiles held his left arm obediently out to Eva, the upper part of his sleeve ripped and clearly showing a deep scratch. “It’s not too bad.”

Eva hissed in sympathy.

Olive entered the room, glancing at Stiles. Malia followed Olive, climbing into her lap when she took a seat in the recliner.

“So,” Cora sat in the remaining recliner. “Who exactly are you again, Stiles?”

Talia and Evan walked up, stopping by the couch.

Laura held Daniel on her hip, an arm wrapped around David at her side. Sam stood behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders.

Derek took a steading breath and began the story. Eva cringed closer to Stiles when Derek mentioned the murders. Guilt twisted inside him; he should have pulled his family aside for this conversation.

“Do you know what my dad does when I’ve had a bad day?” Eva asked, taking the first aid kit from Peter when he re-entered the room.

“What’s he do?” Stiles asked, playing along with the distraction.

“He let’s me relax and watch movies.” She flicked open the box and squinted at it before pulling out a roll of gauze. “I think we should watch a movie.”

Derek spoke faster, lower, trying to get as much of the story out as he could while still keeping an ear on both Stiles and Eva. They’d all had an eventful day.

“What movie should we watch?” Stiles smiled, watching her shred his shirt sleeve to reach his scratch.

She laid a piece of gauze against his skin and began wrapping. “I think Malia has the original Spiderman somewhere.” She looked over at where her cousin was sitting.

Malia nodded earnestly. “I can go get it.” She slid from her mom’s lap, rushing toward their room.

Derek smiled. He didn’t even know what he’d told them about what happened, or what still needed to be told. But... “I think a movie is a great idea.”

“So you two aren’t actually dating?” Laura asked cautiously.

Derek’s heart sank. That had been their cover story. Well, the cover story Derek had thrown Stiles into at the front door. “I- uh-”

“Someday you’ll find someone, Der.” Cora tucked her feet beneath her on the chair.

“We were just almost killed! I didn’t say-” Derek looked at Stiles. A laugh bubbled up from his chest.

Eva had unrolled the whole roll of gauze onto Stiles’s arm and was in the process of sticking a bandaid over the edge to hold it in place. “All better!” She declared.

“Thank you, doctor!” Stiles twisted his arm this way and that, inspecting her handy work. He beamed at Derek. “Didn’t she do a great job?”

“Yeah.” Derek nodded. “You did a wonderful job, Eves.”

“Now, what’s this about a movie date? I didn’t catch the whole thing.” Stiles scooted closer to the arm of the chair so Eva could sit between him and Derek.

Derek heard the slight slow of Stiles’s heartbeat. He’d heard the whole conversation, Derek realized.

“You don’t have to keep up the charade,” Cora said. “You did your job, you kept them, and us, safe. That’s as much as we could ask for.” She looked up at Talia and Evan.

Evan nodded, tousling Stiles’s hair. “You did well, kid.”

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Eva asked quickly, twisting to face Stiles.

“Not any time soon,” Stiles said, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.” He paused, Derek listened to him take a slow breath, steeling himself to say something. Derek’s heart sank, this was it, Stiles was going to tell him it was over, this was the end of their “dating”.

“And,” Stiles continued, “if your dad agrees to the movie date, I might be around even longer.”

Derek’s head snapped up. “Like actual dating? Yes!”

Stiles smiled. “Like actual dating.”

“Does this mean I get joint custody of your comics?”

#froggydarren #stereksanta18 #*fic18 #*gifts18

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joannalannister · 7 years

Text

The Dead Ladies Club

“Ladies die in childbed. No one sings songs about them.”

The Dead Ladies Club is a term I invented** circa 2012 to describe the pantheon of undeveloped female characters in ASOIAF from the generation or so before the story began.

It is a term that carries with it inherent criticisms of ASOIAF, which this post will address, in an essay in nine parts. The first, second, and third parts of this essay define the term in detail. Subsequent sections examine how these women were written and why this aspect of ASOIAF merits criticism, exploring the pervasiveness of the dead mothers trope in fiction, the excessive use of sexual violence in writing these women, and the differences in GRRM’s portrayals of male sacrifice versus female sacrifice in the narrative.

To conclude, I assert that the manner in which these women were written undermines GRRM’s thesis, and ASOIAF -- a series I consider to be one of the greatest works of modern fantasy -- is poorer because of it.

*~*~*~*~

PART I: WHAT IS THE DEAD LADIES CLUB?

Below is a list of women I personally include in the Dead Ladies Club. This list is flexible, but this is generally who people are talking about when they’re talking about the DLC:

Lyanna Stark

Elia Martell

Ashara Dayne

Rhaella Targaryen

Joanna Lannister

Cassana Estermont

Tysha

Lyarra Stark

the Unnamed Princess of Dorne (mother to Doran, Elia, and Oberyn)

Brienne’s Unnamed Mother

Minisa Whent-Tully

Bethany Ryswell-Bolton

EDIT - The Miller’s Wife - GRRM never named her, but she was raped by Roose Bolton and she gave birth to Ramsay

I might be forgetting someone

Most of the DLC are mothers, dead before the series began. I deliberately use the word “pantheon” when describing the DLC because, like the gods of ancient mythology, these women typically loom large over the lives of our current POVs, and it is their deification that is largely the problem. The women of the Dead Ladies Club tend to be either heavily romanticized or heavily villainized by the text, either up on a pedestal or down on their knees, to paraphrase Margaret Attwood. The DLC are written by GRRM as little more than male fantasies and tired tropes, defined almost exclusively by their beauty and desirability (or lack thereof). They have no voices of their own. Too often they are nameless. They are frequently the victims of sexual violence. They are presented with few or no choices in their stories, something I consider to be a particularly egregious oversight when GRRM says it is our choices which define us.

The space in the narrative given over to their humanity and their interiority (their inner lives, their thoughts and feelings, their existence as individuals) is minimal or nonexistent, which is quite a shame in a series that is meant to celebrate our common humanity. How can I have faith in the thesis of ASOIAF, that people’s “lives have meaning, not their deaths,” when GRRM created a coterie of women whose main if not sole purpose was to die?

I restrict the Dead Ladies Club to women one or two generations back because the Lady in question must have some immediate connection to a POV character or a second-tier character. These women tend to be of immediate importance to a POV character (mothers, grandmothers, etc), or at most they’re one character removed from a POV character in the main story (AGOT - ADWD+).

Example #1: Dany (POV) --> Rhaella Targaryen

Example #2: Davos (POV) --> Stannis --> Cassana Estermont

*~*~*~*~

PART II: "NOW SAY HER NAME.”

Lyanna Stark, “beautiful, willful, and dead before her time.” We know little about Lyanna other than how much men desired her. A Helen of Troy type figure, an entire continent of men fought and died because “Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna”. He loved her enough to lock her in a tower, where she gave birth and died. But who was she? How did she feel about any of these events? What did she want? What were her hopes, her dreams? On these, GRRM remains silent.

Elia Martell, “kind and clever, with a gentle heart and a sweet wit.” Presented in the narrative as a dead mother, a dead sister, a deficient wife who could bare no more children, she is defined solely by her relationships with various men, with no story of her own outside of her rape and murder.

Ashara Dayne, the maiden in the tower, the mother of a stillborn daughter, the beautiful suicide, we get no details of her personality, only that she was desired by Barristan the Bold and either (or perhaps both) Brandon or Ned Stark.

Rhaella Targaryen, a Queen of the Seven Kingdoms for more than 20 years. We know that Aerys abused and raped her to conceive Daenerys. We know that she suffered many miscarriages. But what do we know about her? What did she think of Aerys’s desire to make the Dornish deserts bloom? What did she spend 20 years doing when she wasn’t being abused? How did she feel when Aerys moved the court to Casterly Rock for almost a year? We don’t have answers to any of these questions. Yandel wrote a whole history book for ASOIAF giving us lots and lots of information on the personalities and quirks and fears and desires of men like Aerys and Tywin and Rhaegar, so I know who these men are in a way that I don’t know the women in canon. I don’t think it’s reasonable that GRRM left Rhaella’s humanity virtually blank when he had all of TWOIAF to elaborate on pre-series characters, and he could have easily made a little sidebar on Queen Rhaella. We have a lot of dairies and letters and stuff about the thoughts and feelings of real medieval queens, so why didn’t Yandel (and GRRM) give us a little more about the last Targaryen queen in the Seven Kingdoms? Why didn’t we even get a picture of Rhaella in TWOIAF?

Joanna Lannister, desired by both a King and a King’s Hand and made to suffer for it, she died giving birth to Tyrion. We know there was “love between” Tywin and Joanna, but details about her are few and far between. With many of these women, the scant lines in the text about them often leave the reader asking, “well, what does that mean exactly?” What does it mean exactly that Lyanna was willful? What does it mean exactly that Rhaella was mindful of her duty? Joanna is no exception, with GRRM’s teasing yet frustratingly vague remark that Joanna “ruled” Tywin at home. Joanna is merely the roughest sketch in the text, seen through a glass darkly.

Cassana Estermont. Honestly I tried to recall a quote about Cassana and I realized that there wasn’t one. She is the drowned lover, the dead wife, the dead mother, and we know nothing else.

Tysha, a teenage girl who was saved from rapers, only to be gang-raped on Tywin Lannister’s orders. Her whereabouts become something of a talisman for Tyrion in ADWD, as if finding her will free him from his dead father’s long, black shadow, but aside from the sexual violence she suffered, we know nothing else about this lowborn girl except that she loved a boy deemed by Westerosi society to be unloveable.

For Lyarra, Minisa, Bethany, and the rest, we know little more than their names, their pregnancies, and their deaths, and for some we don’t even have names.

I often include Lynesse Hightower and Alannys Greyjoy as honorary members, even though they’re obviously not dead.

I said above that the DLC are either up on a pedestal or down on their knees. Lynesse Hightower is both, introduced to us by Jorah as a love story out of the songs, and villainized as the woman who left Jorah to be a concubine in Lys. In Jorah’s words, he hates Lynesse, almost as much as he loves her. Lynesse’s story is defined by a lot of tired tropes; she is the “Stunningly Beautiful” “Uptown Girl” / “Rich Bitch” “Distracted by the Luxury” until she realizes Jorah is “Unable to support a wife”. (All of these are explained on tv tropes if you would like to read more.) Lynesse is basically an embodiment of the gold digger trope without any depth, without any subversion, without really delving into Lynesse as a person. Even though she’s still alive, even though lots of people still alive know her and would be able to tell us about her as a person, they don’t.

Alannys Greyjoy I personally include in the Dead Ladies Club because her character boils down to a “Mother’s Madness” with little else to her, even tho, again, she’s not dead.

When I include Lynesse and Alannys, every region in GRRM’s Seven Kingdoms has at least one of the DLC. That was something that stood out to me when I was first reading - how widespread GRRM’s dead mothers and cast off women are. It’s not just one mother, it’s not just one House, it’s everywhere in GRRM’s writing.

And when I say “everywhere in GRRM’s writing,” I mean everywhere. Mothers killed off-screen (typically in childbirth) before the story begins is a trope GRRM uses throughout his career, in Fevre Dream and Dreamsongs and Armageddon Rag and in his tv scripts. It’s unimaginative and lazy, to say the least.

*~*~*~*~

PART III: WHO ARE THEY NOT?

Long dead, historical women like Visenya Targaryen are not included in the Dead Ladies Club. Why, you ask?

If you go up to the average American on the street, they’ll probably be able to tell you something about their mother, or their grandmother, or their aunt, or some other woman in their lives who is important to them, and you can get an idea about who these women were/are as people. But the average American probably won’t be able to tell you a whole lot about Martha Washington, who lived centuries ago. (If you’re not American, substitute “Martha Washington” with the name of the mother of an important political figure who lived 300 years ago. I’m American, so this is the example I’m using. Also, I can already hear the history nerds piping up - sit down, you’re distinctly above average.)

In this same fashion, the average Westerosi should (misogyny aside) usually be able to tell you something about the important women in their lives. In real life history, kings and lords and other noblemen shared or preserved information about their wives or mothers or sisters or w/e, in spite of the extremely misogynistic medieval societies they lived in.

So this isn’t “OMG a woman died, be outraged!!1!” kind of thing. This isn’t that.

I generally limit the DLC to women who have died relatively recently in Westerosi history and who are denied their humanity in a way that their male contemporaries are not.

*~*~*~*~

PART IV: WHY DOES IT MATTER?

The Dead Ladies Club are the women of the previous one or two generations that we should know more about, but we don’t. We know little more about them than that they had children and they died. I don’t know these women, except through transformative fandom. I know a lot about the pre-series male characters in the text, but canon gives me almost nothing about these women.

To copy from another post of mine on this issue, it’s like the Dead Ladies exist in GRRM’s narrative solely to be abused, raped, give birth, and die, later to have their immutable likenesses cast in stone and put up on pedestals to be idealized. The women of the Dead Ladies Club aren’t afforded the same characterization and growth as pre-series male characters.

Think about Jaime, who, while not a pre-series character, is a great example of how GRRM can use characterization to play with his readers. We start off seeing Jaime as an asshole who pushes kids out of windows, and don’t get me wrong, he’s still an asshole who pushes kids out of windows, but he’s also so much more than that. Our perception as readers shifts and we understand that Jaime is so complex and multi-layered and grey.

With dead pre-series male characters, GRRM still manages to do interesting things with their stories, and to convey their desires, and to play with reader perceptions. Rhaegar is a prime example. Readers go from Robert’s version of the story that Rhaegar was a sadistic supervillain, to the idea that whatever happened between Rhaegar and Lyanna wasn’t as simple as Robert believed, and some fans even progress further to this idea that Rhaegar was highly motivated by prophecy.

But we don’t get that kind of character development with the Dead Ladies. For example, Elia exists in the narrative to be raped and to die, and to motivate Doran’s desires for justice and revenge, a symbol of the Dornish cause, a reminder by the narrative that it is the innocents who suffer most in the game of thrones. But we don’t know who she is as a person. We don’t know what she wanted in life, how she felt, what she dreamed of.

We don’t get characterization of the DLC, we don’t get shifts in perception, we barely get anything at all when it comes to these women. GRRM does not write pre-series female characters the same way he writes pre-series male characters. These women are not given space in the narrative the same way their male contemporaries are.

Consider the Unnamed Princess of Dorne, mother to Doran, Elia, and Oberyn. She was the only female ruler of a kingdom while the Robert’s Rebellion generation was coming up, and she is also the only leader of a Great House during that time period that we don’t have a name for.

The North? Ruled by Rickard Stark. The Riverlands? Ruled by Hoster Tully. The Iron Islands? Ruled by Quellon Greyjoy. The Vale? Ruled by Jon Arryn. The Westerlands? Ruled by Tywin Lannister. The Stormlands? Steffon, and then Robert Baratheon. The Reach? Mace Tyrell. But Dorne? Just some woman with no name, oops, who the hell cares, who even cares, why bother with a name, who needs one, it’s not like names matter in ASOIAF, amirite? //sarcasm//

We didn’t even get her name in TWOIAF, even though the Unnamed Princess was mentioned there. And this lack of a name is so very limiting - it is so hard to discuss a ruler’s policy and evaluate her decisions when the ruler doesn’t even have a name.

To speak more on the namelessness of women... Tysha didn’t get a name until ACOK. Although they were named in the appendices in book 1, neither Joanna nor Rhaella were named within the story until ASOS. Ned Stark’s mother wasn’t named until the family tree in the appendix of TWOIAF. And when will the Unnamed Princess of Dorne get a name? When?

As I think about this, I cannot help but think of this quote: “She hated the namelessness of women in stories, as if they lived and died so that men could have metaphysical insights.” Too often these women exist to further the male characters, in a way that doesn’t apply to men like Rhaegar or Aerys.

I don’t think that GRRM is leaving out or delaying these names on purpose. I don’t think GRRM is doing any of this deliberately. The Dead Ladies Club, imo, is the result of indifference, not malevolence.

But these kinds of oversights like the Princess of Dorne not having a name are, in my opinion, indicative of a much larger trend -- GRRM refuses these dead women space in the narrative while affording significant space to the dead/pre-series male characters. This issue, imo, is relevant to feminist spatial theory, or the ways in which women inhabit or occupy space (or are prevented from doing so). Some feminist scholars argue that even conceptual “places” or “spaces” (like a narrative or a story) have an influence on people’s political power, culture, and social experience. Such a discussion is probably beyond the scope of this post, but basically it’s argued that women/girls are socialized to take up less space than men in their surroundings. So when GRRM refuses narrative space to pre-series women in a way that he does not do to pre-series men, I feel like he is playing into misogynistic tropes and tendencies rather than subverting them.

*~*~*~*~

PART V: THE DEATH OF THE MOTHER

Given that many of the DLC (although not all) were mothers, and that many died in childbirth, I want to examine this phenomenon in more detail, and discuss what it means for the Dead Ladies Club.

Popular culture has a tendency to prioritize fatherhood by marginalizing motherhood. (Look at Disney’s long history of dead or absent mothers, storytelling which is merely a continuation a much older fairytale tradition of the “symbolic annihilation” of the mother figure.) Audiences are socialized to view mothers as “expendable,” while fathers are “irreplaceable”:

This is achieved by not only removing the mother from the narrative and undermining her motherwork, but also by obsessively showing her death, again and again. […] The death of the mother is instead invoked repeatedly as a romantic necessity […] there appears to be a reflex in mainstream popular visual culture to kill off the mother. [x]

For me, the existence of the Dead Ladies Club is perpetuating the tendency to devalue motherhood, and unlike so much else about ASOIAF, it’s not original, it’s not subversive, and it’s not great writing.

Consider Lyarra Stark. In GRRM’s own words, when asked who Ned Stark’s mother was and how she died, he tells us laconically, “Lady Stark. She died.” We know nothing of Lyarra Stark, other than that she married her cousin Rickard, gave birth to four children, and died during or after Benjen’s birth. It’s another example of GRRM’s casual indifference toward and disregard for these women, and it’s very disappointing coming from an author who is otherwise so amazing. If GRRM can imagine a world as rich and varied as Westeros, why is it so often the case that when it comes to the female relatives of his characters, all GRRM can imagine is that they suffer and die?

Now, you might be saying, “dying in childbirth is just something that happens to women, so what’s the big deal?” Sure, women died in childbirth in the Middle Ages at an alarming rate. Let’s assume that Westerosi medicine closely approximates medieval medicine - even if we make that assumption, the rate at which these women are dying in childbirth in Westeros is inordinately high compared to the real Middle Ages, statistically speaking. But here’s the kicker: Westerosi medicine is not medieval. Westerosi medicine is better than medieval medicine. To paraphrase my friend @alamutjones, Westeros has better than medieval medicine, but worse than medieval outcomes when it comes to women. GRRM is putting his finger down on the scales here. And it’s lazy.

Childbirth, by definition, is a very gendered death. And it’s how GRRM defines these women - they gave birth, and they died, and nothing else about them matters to him. (“Lady Stark. She died.”) Sure, there’s some bits of minutia we can gather about these women if we squint. Lyanna was said to be willful, and she had some sort of relationship with Rhaegar Targaryen that the jury is still out on, but her consent was dubious at best. Joanna was happily married, and she was desired by Aerys Targaryen, and she may or may not have been raped. Rhaella was definitely raped to conceive Daenerys, who she died giving birth to.

Why are these women treated in such a gendered manner? Why did so many mothers die in childbirth in ASOIAF? Fathers don’t tend to die gendered deaths in Westeros, so why isn’t the cause of death more varied for women?

And why are so many women in ASOIAF defined by their absence, as black holes, as negative space in the narrative?

The same cannot be said of so many fathers in ASOIAF. Consider Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion, but whose father is a godlike-figure in their lives, both before and after his death. Even dead, Tywin still rules his children’s lives.

It’s the relationship between child and father (Randyll Tarly, Selwyn Tarth, Rickard Stark, Hoster Tully, etc) that GRRM gives so much weight to relative to the mother’s relationship, with notable exceptions found in Catelyn Stark and Cersei Lannister. (Though with Cersei, I think it could be argued that GRRM isn’t subverting anything -- he’s playing into the dark side of motherhood, and the idea that mothers damage their children with their presence -- which is basically the flip side of the dead mother trope -- but this post is already a ridiculous length and I’m not gonna get into this here.)

*~*~*~*~

PART VI: THE DLC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Despite his claims to historical verisimilitude, GRRM made Westeros more misogynistic than the real Middle Ages. Considering that the details of their sexual violence is the primary information we have about the DLC, why is so much sexual violence necessary?

I discuss this issue in depth in my tag for #rape culture in Westeros, but I think it deserves to be touched on here, at least briefly.

Girls like Tysha are defined by the sexual violence they experienced. We know about Tysha’s gang rape in book 1, but we don’t even learn her name until book 2. So many of the DLC are victims of sexual violence, with little or no attention given to how this violence affected them personally. More attention is given to how the sexual violence affected the men in their lives. With each new sexual harassment Joanna suffered because of Aerys, we know per TWOIAF that Tywin cracked a little more, but how did Joanna feel? We know that Rhaella had been abused to the point that it appeared that a beast had savaged her, and we know that Jaime felt extremely conflicted about this because of his Kingsguard oaths, but how did Rhaella feel, when her abuser was her brother-husband? We know more about the abuse these women suffered than we do about the women themselves. The narrative objectifies rather than humanizes the DLC.

Why did GRRM’s messianic characters have to be conceived through rape? The mother figure being raped and sacrificed for the messiah/hero is an old and tired fantasy trope, and GRRM does it not once, but two (or possibly even three) times. Really, GRRM? Really? GRRM doesn’t need to rely on raped dead mothers as part of his store-bought tragic backstory. GRRM can do better than that, and he should do better. (Further discussion in my tag for #gender in ASOIAF.)

*~*~*~*~

PART VII: MALE SACRIFICE, FEMALE SACRIFICE, AND CHOICE

Now, you might be asking, “It’s normal for male characters to sacrifice themselves, so why can’t women sacrifice themselves for the messiah? Isn’t female sacrifice subversive?”

Male sacrifice and female sacrifice are often not the same in popular culture. To boil it down - men sacrifice, while women are sacrificed.

Women dying in childbirth to give birth to the messiah isn’t the same thing as male characters making some grand last stand with guns blazing to give the Messianic Hero the chance to Do The Thing. The male characters who get to go out guns blazing choose that fate; it’s the end result of their characterization to do so. Think of Syrio Forel. He chooses to sacrifice himself to save one of our protagonists.

But women like Lyanna and Rhaella and Joanna they didn’t get a choice, were afforded no grand moment of existential victory that was the culmination of their characters; they just died. They bled out, they got sick, they were murdered -- they-just-died. There was no grand choice to sacrifice themselves in favor of saving the world, there was no option to refuse the sacrifice, there wasn’t any choice at all.

And that’s key. That’s what lies at the heart of all of GRRM’s stories: choice. As I said here,

“Choice […]. That’s the difference between good and evil, you said. Now it looks like I’m the one got to make a choice” (Fevre Dream). In GRRM’s own words, “That’s something that’s very much in my books: I believe in great characters. We’re all capable of doing great things, and of doing bad things. We have the angels and the demons inside of us, and our lives are a succession of choices.” It’s the the choices that hurt, the choices where good and evil hang in the balance – these are the choices in which “the human heart [is] in conflict with itself,” which GRRM considers to be “the only thing worth writing about”.

Men like Aerys and Rhaegar and Tywin make choices in ASOIAF; women like Rhaella don’t have any choices at all in the narrative.

Does GRRM not find the stories of the Dead Ladies Club worth writing about? Was there no moment in GRRM’s mind when Rhaella or Elia or Ashara felt conflicted in their hearts, no moment they felt their loyalties divided? How did Lynesse feel choosing concubinage? What of Tysha, who loved a Lannister boy, but was gang-raped at the hands of House Lannister? How did she feel?

It would be very different if we were told about the choices that Lyanna and Rhaella and Elia made. (Fandom often speculates about whether, for example, Lyanna chose to go with Rhaegar, but the text remains silent on this issue as of ADWD. GRRM remains silent on these women’s choices.)

It would be different if GRRM explored their hearts in conflict, but we’re not told anything about that. It would be subversive if these women actively chose to sacrifice themselves, but they didn’t.

Dany is probably being set up as a woman who actively chooses to sacrifice herself to save the world, and I think that’s subversive, a valiant and commendable effort on GRRM’s part to tackle this dichotomy between male sacrifice and female sacrifice. But I don’t think it makes up for all of these dead women sacrificed in childbirth with no choice.

*~*~*~*~

PART VIII: CONCLUSIONS

I hope this post serves as a working definition of the Dead Ladies Club, a term which, at least for me, carries a lot of criticism of the way GRRM handles these female characters. The term encompasses the voicelessness of these women, the excessive and highly gendered abuse they suffered, and their lack of characterization and agency.

GRRM calls his characters his children. I feel like these dead women -- the mothers, the wives, the sisters -- I feel like these women were GRRM’s stillborn children, with nothing left of them but a name on a birth certificate, and a lot of lost potential, and a hole where the heart once was in someone else’s story. From my earliest days on tumblr, I wanted to give voice to these voiceless women. Too often they were forgotten, and I didn’t want them to be.

Because if they were forgotten -- if all they were meant to do was die -- how could I believe in ASOIAF?

How can I believe that “men’s lives have meaning, not their deaths” if GRRM created this group of women merely to be sacrificed? Sacrificed for prophecy, or for someone else’s pain, or simply for the tragedy of it all?

How can I believe in all the things ASOIAF stands for? I know that GRRM does a great job with Sansa and Arya and Dany and all the other female POVs, and I admire him for it.

But when ASOIAF asks, “what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?" What is one life worth, when measured against so much? And Davos answers, softly, “Everything” ... When ASOIAF says that ... when ASOIAF says that one life is worth everything, how can people tell me that these women don’t matter?

How can I believe in ASOIAF as a celebration of humanity, when GRRM dehumanizes and objectifies these women?

The treatment of these women undermines ASOIAF’s central thesis, and it didn’t need to be like this. GRRM is better than this. He can do better.

I want to be wrong about all this. I want GRRM to tell us in TWOW all about Lyanna’s choices, and I want to learn the name of the Unnamed Princess, and I want to know that three women weren’t raped to fulfill GRRM’s prophecy. I want GRRM to breathe life into them, because I consider him to be the best fantasy writer alive.

But I don’t know that he will do that. The best I can say is, I want to believe.

*~*~*~*~

“Ladies die in childbed. No one sings songs about them.”

But I sing of them. I do. Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story...

*~*~*~*~

PART IX: FOOTNOTES AND MISCELLANEOUS

**I am 90% certain that I am the person who invented the term “Dead Ladies Club”, but I am not 100% certain. It sounds like a name I would make up, but a lot of my friends who I would talk to about this on their blogs in 2011 and 2012 have long since deleted, so I can’t find the first time I used the term, and I can’t remember anymore. Some things that should not have been forgotten were lost, history became legend, legend became myth, y'all know the drill.

To give you a little more about the origins of this term, I created my sideblog @pre-gameofthrones because I wanted a place for the history of ASOIAF, but mostly I wanted a place where these women could be brought to life. During my early days in fandom, so many people around here were writing great fanfiction featuring these women, fleshing out these women’s thoughts and feelings, bringing them to life and giving them the humanity that GRRM denied them. I wasn’t very interested in transformative works before ASOIAF, but suddenly I needed a place to preserve all of these fanfics about these women. Perhaps it sounds silly, but I didn’t want these women to suffer a second “death” and to be forgotten a second time with people deleting their blogs and posts getting lost in tumblr’s terrible organization system.

Over the years, so many other people have talked about and celebrated the Dead Ladies Club: @poorshadowspaintedqueens, @cosmonauthill, @lyannas, @rhaellas, @ayllriadayne, @poorquentyn, @goodqueenaly, @arielno, @gulbaharsultan, @racefortheironthrone and so many others, but these were the people I remembered off the top of my head, and I wanted to list them here because they all have such great things to say about this, so check them out, go through their archives, ask them stuff, because they’re wonderful!

#asoiaf meta #the dead ladies club #rhaella targaryen #elia martell #lyanna stark #joanna lannister #asoiaf #feminist spatial theory #lynesse hightower #lannister thoughts #gender in asoiaf #ashara dayne #cassana estermont #tysha #the princess of dorne #the unnamed princess of dorne

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reesebird · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://reesebird.com/2019/02/03/aunt-is-letting-my-grandmother-suffer-but-my-dad-and-other-aunt-who-have-tried-to-stop-have-become-apathetic-warning-long/

Aunt is letting my grandmother suffer but my dad and other aunt who have tried to stop have become apathetic. Warning: Long

Okay, so this is going to be kinda long and very venty. Also, I don’t know even know if this is even the best place for this post but no other subreddit seemed appropriate so sorry in advance if this isn’t the best sub for this.

Let me preface this story with a description of the main characters as well as facts you may find pertinent. Our main cast is as follows:

OP: Me!!! I am the 20 something graduate student who serves as mostly as a silent protagonist (at least up until the recent events we will get to – stay tuned! )

My Grandmother (GM) : The victim of the saga. She practically half-raised me for the first half of my life as my mom spent long hours finishing her graduate degree and my dad’s work required him to travel a lot. As a result, an open secret of the family is that I am her favorite. Virtually any family member will inform of you of this. I love her to the moon and back.

My Dad: The initially outspoken yet eventually aggressively-apathetic protagonist of the saga. He cares about GM but the drama that ensues with the main antagonist has pushed him to feel as if there is nothing he can do about it.

The Antagonist Aunt: Our antagonist. She has the legal power of attorney for GM. As a result of recent events concerning GM, I have come to despise her and refer to her in conversation only as Aunt Bitch (AB) in the story. Truth be told, she likely meant well at the beginning. And she still might (at least in her mind). Whatever the case, whether due to selfishness or delusion, she is basically letting GM suffer rather than let the family bring in Hospice/the equivalent of Hospice to let her go where she needs to go.

The Other Aunt (OA) : She knows my dad is right. But this Aunt basically says whatever she has to say in order to appease the person she is talking to. I.e., when talking with my dad she will agree AB is indeed a bitch. When talking with AB, she will throw dad under the bus and say he is an asshole and in the wrong.

My mom: My poor mother, who has enough stress in her life. She loves her mother in law dearly and knows the treatment AB is allowing to be given is torture. She has become particularly upset with dad’s increasingly apathetic and hopeless attitude towards convincing AB that she is in the wrong.

And that is our main cast. There are other characters but we will introduce them as we go along. So, if you have read this far, without further ado, let’s get to the story. I will summarize past events as quickly as possible.

About 5 years ago, it became clear to everyone that GM needed to move into an assisted living facility. This was especially clear to me and my parents. Indeed, GM lived across the street from us so we had near daily interaction with her. GM was very obviously not eating well. The only she did were rancid salads and hotdogs (which AB purchased for her – at the time AB would grocery shop for her every week). So my parents started either just having her eat at our house or just brought her food. She would wolf down any such food – which of course she did; GM was probably starving! In addition to this, GM started to do a lot of strange things (very characteristic of a person with the beginning stages of Demnita and/or alheimzers – which to this day AB has refused to let her be diagnosed with)

Now, I actually lied when I said it was apparent to everyone that GM needed to move into an assisted living home. You see, according to AB “Oh, she’s always ate little. And she’s always ate hotdogs and salads.” In two words, “she’s fine.” Take note of these two words. They will be uttered many times. Throughout all of this, my dad and OA mostly tried to handle AB (who remember is the one with the legal power of attorney and has the final say in what happens). In other words, I kept my mouth shut.

Fast forward roughly six months later. Somehow the family decides it will be a good idea to have GM go live with OA for a while. However, it did take quite a bit of fighting with AB to convince her that this would be a good thing. OA lives a few hours away in a completely different state. While there GM got much needed nutrition (at least we think good enough of OA to think this).

For a while, it was a good thing. However, while with OA, GM had a surgery (nothing too major or scary). A few days following this, while with OA, GM freaked the fuck out. Like literally freaked the fuck out. I am not going to go into explicit details. She was never the same after this. After this event, the signs of dementia were screaming out loud. Of course, AB refused to let her be diagnosed with it. Indeed, she would snap at anyone who suggested it and also – according to my dad – snapped at the family doctor when he tried to suggest it.

This feels like an appropriate place to take an intermission to interject the following: compassion is important. Up to this point I have portrayed AB in a very negative light. This is by design. But make no mistake. I can understand why – at least I think I can understand why. For one thing, we’re talking about AB’s mother. Who she does love dearly. Furthermore, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say AB might be afraid of what her future holds based on what happens to her mother. That is, in her mind she may have the following thought process: If GM is never diagnosed with dementia, then I can never be diagnosed with dementia). Do note I am well aware of the absurdity of this thought process. Finally, as AB has the legal power of attorney, AB likely feels as if she has a great weight on her shoulder – that every decision she makes will be scrutinized. You might contend that this is true l. But even up to this point my dad and OA had made it clear to AB that they don’t want her to feel like that. All they want is for AB to include them and consult them on decision making (which she had not – and still does not). In contrast, she does stuff on her own and then often reports her decisions – much to the disappointment of dad and OA.

So, GM is brought back to her home state. At this point it is even clear to AB that GM cannot go on living on her own. Now mind you, a year prior she should not have been living on her own. But as stated above, AB just straight up ignored everyone’s thoughts. Even so, GM finally gets moved into assisted living.

At this point in this very unfortunate and sad saga, decisions regarding GM’s health did not come up as much – and those that did were minor. Rather, the decisions that came to impasses due to AB’s behavior regarding things concerning the future. I will only detail one major one. You see, when we moved GM into assisted living it was quite clear she would never live by herself again. Quite sad. But assisted living is where she needed to be. So bittersweet. Now, most families might begin talks to discuss what to do with GM’S home and assets. However, if you brought this up to AB she would snap right back at you and say something along the lines of “You’re just trying to hurry her up to the grave! This is only temporary!” And why did AB say things like this? Well, in her words, “She’s fine.” Oh GM was fine alright. You know. Aside from having to use a walker, needing help bathing and going to the bathroom, not being able to cook, having trouble remembering to take her medicine, calling us in the middle of the night sometimes freaked out because she had forgotten where she was, etc.” Oh yes. She was indeed, fine, I guess you could say. Long story short, GM was in assisted living for two full years before AB finally relented to putting GM’s house on the market. Of course, mortgage payments as well as various expenses for standard home maintence had to be spent during these two years. What a shame this money could not have been put to better use. Throughout all of this up to this point, I – of course – kept my mouth mostly shut – especially in the presence of AB who I carefully walked on eggshells around.

Before going further, as you might suppose, dad and OA were really starting to have it with AB. Any important decision that needed to be made, AB just kept putting off due to her defense that “She’s fine.” Well, fine as long as you consult AB. Consult anyone else – including any decent medial doctor, she was very much NOT fine. While my dad did have some choice words with AB from time to time, nothing too dramatic occurred as dad (along with OA) felt as if the “nice, compassionate” method would be the best to sway AB.

Our story now takes a dire turn. Recall this approximately two years into GM living in assisted living. Days after visiting GM in assisted living I am now back at college preparing a presentation for a paper of mine accepted to a conference. Day of the trip to the conference I receive a call from my mom. GM: the assisted living people had found her virtually non responsive and had her sent to the hospital. Well actually, to be correct, my parents had been informed that GM had this “episode” TWO DAYS AFTER THE FACT. Oh yeah. Recall, AB has the legal power of attorney. As a result, she is the person contacted in such an incident. And despite everything up to this point, OA and dad still “trusted” AB to an extent to where I suppose they assumed AB would immediately contact them in such a situation. You can rest assured dad and OA were pissed over this. Following GM’s stay in the hospital, she would be sent to a nursing home. She would never return to assisted living. Moreover, this began a revolving door between the hospital and nursing home.

For the first 3 months at the nursing home, GM was as “fine” as could be expected. That is, she was certainly NOT fine. But it’s not like she was in severe pain or suffering. Furthermore, she could feed herself – to an extent. Make no mistake, she needed help here and there. Even so, she was mostly bed-ridden; unable to walk or transport herself.

After about 3 months or so, GM has another “episode” (AB’s term not mine). AB did contact dad and OA about this one immediately. Still though, in regards to medical details, we never got any from AB. And by this point, dad and OA were so fed up their anger had turned to apathy and did not press doctors for information. This angered my mom, who tried to find stuff out on her own. But she couldn’t – because she was not considered immediate family. So, she asked AB for details. AB simply told her “She’s fine.” Oh, and lest I forgot she also tacked a new favorite phrase: “Her vitals are good.” In case you were wondering, I still stayed silent. Don’t worry though. We’re gonna hear me speak soon enough.

A few more “episodes” like this left GM worse and worse. Memory getting worse and worse to the point where she eventually didn’t know anyone. About a year and a half ago GM became 100% unresponsive. No talking. No eating. No walking. Completely bed ridden with a blank stare (she doesn’t track any movement at all). Well, at least according to most everyone. AB of course disputes this and says she talks all the time and watches TV. “She’s fine. Her vitals are good.” I’ll just tell you up front that this is bullshit.

Now, when GM stopped eating the nursing home gave her a feeding tube. Completely normal. We all agreed – including AB – that this would be temporary. If she didn’t get better, in a few months the family would begin discussions to “pull the plug.” Doctors and the nursing home people agreed this was the best course of action.

Pop quiz: Do you think GM got any better? Answer: No! In fact, she only got worse and worse!

Pop Quiz: Do you think AB kept her word to begin discussions of pulling the plug? Answer: Of course not!

So, for about 9 months GM progressively suffered more and more. You might note that according to what doctors have told us that feeding tubes are typically only used for 6 months to a year. Any longer than that is clearly life support.

Just a few months shy of a year of having the feeding tube in, the feeding tube came out due to clogging. GM was sent to the hospital to have it put back in. This happened two more times. The fourth time dad and OA made AB agree that if it came out again that we would NOT have it put back in.

Pop Quiz: When the feeding tube inevitably came out again, do you think AB kept her promise!? Answer: NOPE!

My dad was livid upon finding out (AB kept him in the dark for a few days when it came out again). This begun a near year long standoff between my dad and AB. They did not speak to each other for nearly a year – the silence being broken about a week ago due to events we will get to.

During this standoff, dad and AB primarily communicated to each other via OA. My mom became progressively disillusioned with my dad due to all this. My dad just appeared to stop caring. According to him “what could he do – he had tried everything and had got nowhere.” Save for layering up (which my family just doesn’t have the funds for), my dad and OA had indeed tried quite a bit over the years. And my dad had just given up.

At one point during this standoff my grandmother was sent to the hospital yet again. My dad was not informed of this until a week later. His head went through the roof. Yet, he refused to do anything. He was content with aggressive apathy.

Let us now enter the present. About a week ago, my grandmother went into the hospital again. However this time, things looked bad. So bad in fact that AB ended the standoff and informed my dad. So we all visited her. This really looked like the end. Now, mind you as a result of all this we have thought it was the end about 3 different times. And to be honest, things would have been for the best if the first time would have been the end. In a sense, AB has stolen our ability to mourn normally. Even so, this time did look particularly bad.

Well, as might have been implied by now, for whatever reason GM’s body is one hell of a fighter. Despite the fact that she is basically a corpse, as AB says “her vitals are good” and indeed, they just flat out refuse to go out without a fight.

So GM now lies in a hospital bed yet again. Suffering profusely yet again. While everyone in the family wants the suffering to end, AB refuses.

A final interjection: years ago, in the living room of the house I grew up with when GM was in good health, GM made my dad promise that he would never let her suffer and lie like a corpse in a nursing room. She also requested the same promise from me. Part of what has pained my dad through all of this is that he feels as if he has broken this promise. And I feel like I have as well.

Now we get to the real drama. If you have read up to this point then I thank you. Your reward is the following drama. Though please note I take no pleasure in any of it. At the end of the day, I just want what’s best for my grandmother.

So, yesterday my mom calls the hospital and just happened got to speak to the right person. They informed her the doctor overseeing her care at the hospital had requested a meeting with AB and family members. Had my mom not made this call, we would have never known about this meeting. You are goddamn right all of us had our asses there (well save for OA – remember she lives in another state).

When we walked into the hospital room and AB saw us there she nearly fucking shat herself. Now, up to this point, I had stayed silent. No longer. While waiting for the doctor to get there, it was quite clear there was tension in the room. Yet, everyone was going to be content – including mom and dad – to ig ore the elephant in the room.

I however, had had enough. So I let AB fucking have it. I immediately started in by telling her that she had spent the past two years trying to deceive all of us. I let her know that GM is in fact NOT FINE. I let her know GM would be horrified if she could she herself like this. I let her know she had put off the wishes of dad and OA.

AB immediately went on the defnisve. First trying to make some argument about how I “should watch myself boy.” I quickly reminded her that I am in fact a 20 something year old male and that this is my grandmother we’re talking about and that I have a dog in this race just as much as everyone else.

Aside: My parents knew I was pissed up to this point with AB, but they had NO IDEA I was going to unleash all this truth.

AB then tried to defend herself by saying she had been the one going to the nursing home most days doing everything. I quickly snapped back and let her know that this was solely because she outright refused for anyone else to have any input.

At this point my mom jumped in, reminding AB that I was GM’S favorite and that I do have a right to get involved. Then my dad jumped in and started elaborating on my points. It was as if me speaking the truth made dad and mom feel free to speak their truths as well.

I Continued to list out every single lie we were aware of AB making. AB proceeded to make an excuse for everything. She then started telling it was wrong of us to talk about this in front of GM to which my dad exploded “BULLSHIT AB GM HASN’T BEEN RESPONSIVE FOR TWO YEARS.” Indeed, GM just layed there lifelesslly in the hospital bed with a blank stare. As a nurse put it, it’s like the lights are on but nobody’s home. I finished up by letting AB know how upsetting all her ” she’s fine” and “her vitals are good” were to everyone.

Then the doctor came in. Now, the reason the doctor had called this meeting was primarily to convince AB that Hospice is the only correct path forward. My dad made a point to ask the doctor “is there any chance GM will ever get any better.” The doctor replied that while they normally try to be optimistic, that “no. We have tried everything, sent GM to every specialist possible, and yet GM only gets worse and worse.” AB tried to dispute this. The doctor then started listing things off. Two of these things were of particular note:

First, the doctor noted that TWO YEARS ago GM showed severe signs of brain atrophy (in basic terms, her brain is basically shrinking). NO ONE IN THE FAMILY HAD EVER BEEN INFORMED OF This. Moreover, AB, the person with the power of attorney swears she never knew this. As my dad put it to her last night: bullshit.

Second, GM had apparently showed signs of bleeding in the GI Tract. This is of significance because a few days ago the hospital had taken out her feeding tube as it appeared dirty with blood. So they were going to do some tests. A day or two later, we ask AB about the test and she says “oh no. There was no bleeding. It just turned out to be dirty.” SO BASICALLY AB WAS CAUGHT RIGHT IN A FUCKING LIE.

The night’s events ended with AB agreeing to consult with Hospice about finally bringing in Hospice. The Hospice people were to call her the next day (I.e., today). Furthermore, my dad made it clear he wanted to be involved on the call.

Pop Quiz When the Hospice people called AB today, do you think she contacted my dad to get him on the line? Answer: NOPE!

Now, upon hearing this a few hours ago I absolutely blew the fuck up. I asked dad if he bitched AB out. He basically said no. That he had once again given up. AB gonna do what AB gonna do. My response: Bullshit. This shit is going to end.

So I called AB myself. My mom witnessed the phone conversation. I Immediately called AB out on going against my dad. This set off a nerve apparently. She proceeded to scream (I mean literally scream at the top of her lungs) at me over the phone. Some of the things she screamed:

“NOW YOU BETTER GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF BOY!” (note the derogatory “boy” implying that I am basically a kid and have no say in the situation)

“I’M TIRED OF HEARING ALL THIS SHIT FROM YOU ALL”

“LISTEN TO ME RIGHT NOW BOY”

As my mom can attest, I may have raised my voice here and there throughout this phone. But I stayed as calm as humanly possible. In contrast to AB, I did not utter a single curse word. The same can not be said of her (note the “shit” in the second example above).

Even so, I really let into her I. This conversation. I quickly brought up the brain atrophy and the bleeding in the GI Tract. Regarding the former she “swears she never knew.” To which I replied that “I don’t believe it and if it is true then that just underscores how unfortunate it is that she has the power of attorney.” Regarding the latter, she says the doctor had told her there was no bleeding. So I asked her point blank: “so are the doctors telling you and dad different things? Because that what it seems like.”

This went on and on. Meanwhile I regularly interjected that it pained me to even make this phone call – that GN wouldn’t want this. Even so, GM is the most important person in the whole situation. I went on to note to her that she should feel singled out as I am equally fed up with dad’s and OA’s apathy. That said, I let her know that everything I was saying was what everyone thought – it’s just that I for whatever reason am the only one with the Gaul to call her out on her lies.

The call ended with me telling her “Well I guess I’ll see you in another 6 months to a year when we’re back in the hospital yet again due to your mishandling of all this.”

And so, this brings us to the end of this saga so far. My GM still suffers. The family is being torn apart. In all likelihood, AB will ignore everyone’s wishes yet again. And worst of all, I have broken a promise to GM. And for this, I will never forgive AB for this.

Tbh I don’t know why I posted this. I’m not necessarily looking for advice or anything. I will say putting all this in words has been cathartic. To anyone who read all this, thanks. Or sorry. Idk. This whole fucking situation sucks. Moreover, there is no winner in any of this. The only thing that matters is GM and this whole situation has been nothing but torture for her I know. Even if AB started cooperating tomorrow, that doesn’t change the fact that GM has been made to suffer for two long years.

Well wait. Why end the story there. Minutes ago my dad received a call from AB. She just wanted him to know that the hospital had to take out the feeding yet again. Even so, “she’s fine and her vitals are good.”

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postgamecontent · 7 years

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The Summer of Adventure: Chrono Cross

Original Release Date: November 18, 1999 (JPN)

Original Hardware: Sony PlayStation

Chrono Cross is a game that just about every fan of JRPGs has an opinion on. Put in the unenviable position of having to follow up on what many consider to be the best game of all-time in the genre, Chrono Cross chose to take one of the most difficult routes possible. It is undeniably a continuation of the events of the first game, with its main plot serving to tie up one of the loose ends from Chrono Trigger. At the same time, it doesn't seem to be bound by that game at all. At times, it even appears to treat it with contempt. I want to say that Chrono Cross would have been better off as a stand-alone game, but I'm not sure it could have drawn out the same level of emotion from players had it gone that way. Chrono Cross was praised to an almost ridiculous degree when it first launched, but the backlash on it in the years that followed was one of the biggest I've seen in my whole time in the hobby. What's the deal?

Chrono Trigger released with a bang in 1995, riding on the back of a dream team of talents including Final Fantasy creator Hironobu Sakaguchi, Dragon Quest creator Yuji Horii, and famed Dragon Ball artist Akira Toriyama. Its excellent graphics, progressive mechanics, and compelling time travel hook made it an instant winner. Even with more than 20 years down the road, the game is considered to be one of the finest JRPGs and Super NES games. Some would even put it on their short list of the best games of all time. I have friends who make a yearly playthrough of the game a priority, squeezing the game's finite contents for every last drop of enjoyment possible. It's been ported to multiple platforms including the Sony PlayStation, the Nintendo DS, and iOS.

Its sequel would face different circumstances. That dream team had moved on to other things, leaving the less flashy staff members who had shouldered a fair portion of the load of the first game, albeit behind the scenes. The director's chair was occupied by Masato Kato, a well-known game writer who helped pen the stories for Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy 7, and Xenogears. This was only his third turn as a director, with previous credits on Ninja Gaiden 3: The Ancient Ship of Doom and the Japan-only Satellaview visual novel Radical Dreamers. Perhaps notably, Chrono Cross is also the last game he directed. Naturally, he also provided the story for the game. The game was produced by Hiromichi Tanaka, who would soon take point on Final Fantasy 11. The character designs were provided by Nobuteru Yuki, best known for his work on the anime series Escaflowne.

Considerable talent, to be sure, but the change in directors, designers, artists, and producer made for a game that looked and played almost entirely differently from its predecessor. Besides Kato, the one big returning name was composer Yasunori Mitsuda, the man who had worked himself sick in his composing debut on the first game. Having put a few more games under his belt, Mitsuda was ready and able to deliver a stunning soundtrack that I still think is one of the greatest of all-time. While Chrono Cross had a whole new look and a more confident sound, it was still a great-looking game with some very progressive ideas of its own. One box that would remain unchecked, however, was the time travel motif. There is a little bit of time travel in the story, but you're not the one doing it. Instead, Chrono Cross focuses on crossing between parallel worlds. It's an interesting concept that plays well to Kato's strengths as a writer.

Interestingly, Chrono Cross was the third kick at the can for a sequel to Chrono Trigger. The first, Radical Dreamers, covers part of the same narrative ground. Released only in Japan and exclusively through the Satellaview download service for the Super Famicom, Radical Dreamers introduces some characters that would reappear in slightly altered forms in Chrono Cross, along with a short scenario that would also show up in the latter game. This was only ever meant as a side project, largely existing simply because Kato was annoyed by the loose ends the plot of Chrono Trigger had left. The next potential candidate was the game that would become Xenogears. Initially pitched as an idea for Final Fantasy 7 before another idea won out, it then was planned as a follow-up to Chrono Trigger. After a lot of disagreements, it ended up being its own thing, though it's not hard to spot the connections between it and Chrono Cross.

It was after Xenogears wrapped that Square officially put together a team to create a new Chrono game. The creative talents involved have given some conflicting reasons for the game's dramatic departure from the original game, but the gist seems to be that they didn't feel like rehashing things. They felt doing time travel again would be a cop-out, that a new cast would appeal to potential new players, and that it was important to take full advantage of the new hardware they were working with. As both Tanaka and Kato have strongly asserted, the game's title is not Chrono Trigger 2, so fans probably should not have expected a direct sequel. That kind of feels like a post-hoc excuse to me, but it is what it is.

The game released in late 1999 in Japan, but its overseas release would end up coming in August of 2000, not too far ahead of the PlayStation 2 launch. As a highly-anticipated sequel and the culmination of the Summer of Adventure marketing campaign, Chrono Cross came out of the gates like a rocket. The reviews from critics were nearly unanimous in praising the game, with some publications breaking the safety glass on their rarely-used perfect scores to really underline the point. I distinctly recall a major backlash towards American magazine Electronic Gaming Monthly because one of their three reviewers dared to give the game a score of 9.5 out of 10 instead of a perfect score. Given the many shared circumstances between Chrono Cross and Legend of Mana, it's interesting how different the initial reception to each was. But for however much Chrono Cross diverged from Chrono Trigger, it was still quite recognizable in broad strokes. I think that's what saved it from the more immediate negative response its stablemate received.

That said, the negative response did eventually come. It felt like the bigger a fan a person was of Chrono Trigger, the worse they would eventually see Chrono Cross as. Cross had a different, less optimistic tone to it. Rather than focusing on a handful of characters, it chose to spread the love across a huge cast, hoping to fully sell both its world and its high concept. The story broke one of those unwritten rules of fiction. If you give the audience a "happily ever after" ending, revoke it at your own peril. That's just what Chrono Cross did, and it didn't even make a particularly big deal about it. Chrono and Marle died off-screen a long time ago in some random attack from the Porre Army. Lucca's death is an important plot point, but it also happens before the events of the game. Robo at least gets a significant end, but he too does not survive. Ayla, Frog, and Magus don't even appear in the game, with the latter's absence being particularly preposterous as this entire game orbits around his sister, Schala.

Just in case you think you can delude yourself into thinking the main three aren't really dead, their ghosts actually appear a few times during the course of the game. In short, it was all for naught. Nobody from the main cast of Chrono Trigger got a happy ending, as far as anyone can tell. Heck, you didn't even really save the world. This didn't sit well with many players. Others were put off by the lack of time travel, perhaps expecting there would be some instances later in the game. Even those who could get around these attachments to the plot and characters of the first game were faced with an experience that was almost antithetical to Chrono Trigger.

That game was a fairly light, fast-paced, moderately linear game that wore its messages on its sleeves. Chrono Cross, by comparison, is kind of depressed with existence. The pace is slower, the tone is darker, and the messages are muddier. Although the finished game was heavily pared down from the original plan, it probably could have done with a few more editing passes. For every really interesting, thought-provoking point in the game, there are at least two bits that don't seem to have much purpose at all. Maybe that's intended, though.

Cross serves as a fascinating counter-point to Trigger in some ways, however. In the latter, your intervention is, as usual for the genre, undoubtedly a good thing. Apart from the early set-up where Marle almost writes herself out of existence, your time-hopping shenanigans never have a negative effect on things, at least as far as you can see. Your presence makes the world a better place, even though you are breaking virtually every fundamental law of nature in doing so. The game ends without addressing this particular karmic debt, and that's fine. It doesn't have to. It's not that type of game.

Chrono Cross has something else to say, though. The premise sees your character Serge traveling to a parallel dimension where he was killed at a young age. After 10 years, this other dimension has a ton of differences compared to your home dimension. The kicker is that many of them make for a better world. Some people are worse off, mind you. But the key is that your existence doesn't make things better for everyone. Indeed, Serge not dying has downright ruined some people thanks to that trusty old Butterfly Effect. One of the more enjoyable aspects of the game is in seeing how people's lives are going in each dimension. At any rate, Serge's death is a good thing for some people. A fact that becomes all the more painful when you discover that Serge was really meant to die. His continued existence comes through unnatural means, and even poses something of a threat to the world order.

This isn't just told to the player, either. There are a number of situations in the game where you have the option to make an active choice versus just passively letting things play out. In some of those cases, your decision to act makes things much worse for everyone, while inaction ends up with the desired result. Like many of Kato's other stories, Chrono Cross eventually ends up being a little bit too on-the-nose with its theme, with a primary antagonist literally named FATE. From a personal point of view, fighting fate is a good thing for Serge. It keeps him alive. But in many ways, it's a purely selfish act of self-preservation. It only accidentally has a good result. Of course, this is all the work of a seriously convoluted plan on the part of Balthasar, the Guru of Time. It seems that pesky old Lavos is still alive and threatens to merge with the missing Schala. Balthasar set all of the events of the game in motion to bring Serge to the point that he could defeat Lavos, preventing it from becoming a Time Devourer and eating all of time and space.

Like the first game, Chrono Cross has multiple endings. The best one involves trying to squeeze out a puzzle-like sequence of special attacks on the final boss, a sequence that you may or may not pick up on from the clues. Should you manage to pull that off, you'll save Schala and be treated to a somewhat bizarre ending where she ponders the meaning of life in the face of evolution and survival of the fittest. It's pretty clearly Kato talking at this point, mind you. Schala concludes that although individual lives may seem to be meaningless if they aren't significant in the evolutionary sense, every being does its part to lead up to those significant examples. Thus, every life is an important part of the chain, so life isn't meaningless after all. Phew, thanks for sorting that one out.

She then signs her letter off in Kid's distinct Australian accent, indicating that her memories have been combined with those of her clone. She promises to find you again someday, sometime. The credits then roll, as a woman who is supposed to be Schala can be seen wandering around various locations in modern-day Japan. It's apparently meant to signal to the player that their very own Kid might be out there somewhere, searching for them. It really only works if you live in Japan, though, since the locations they picked are probably not going to strike a chord with anyone else. To be honest, this is a game full of good ideas and compelling situations, but its main plot ends up collapsing on itself in a way that is highly characteristic of Square games from this era.

This was only my second time playing the game, if you can believe it. I really enjoyed it the first time, but I was definitely high on hype. I wasn't sure how I would end up feeling about it after so many years had passed. I've seen my opinions of Square games I once held sacred turn around in big ways before, and I worried that this might be one of them. At the beginning of the game, as I was enjoying the music, brightly-colored sights, and interesting set-up, I felt that I had perhaps underestimated Chrono Cross. The further in I played, however, the more it started coming back down to Earth. There are too many inconsequential characters, the storyline loses its coherence partway through, and the battle system takes a little too long to sort through in basic skirmishes. This is also a game that virtually demands a guide, and even with one, you're not able to see everything in one playthrough. That's fine, but I don't know that I really want to play this again for a long while. Even the first time, when I was absolutely in love with it, I moved on to other things after getting the best ending.

Being a little older and more experienced, I can certainly appreciate some of the ideas the development team tried to apply to the mechanics. That final boss "puzzle" is pretty bad, but in most other respects, I think the element system that governs skills and item use is quite clever. It's a little too restrictive early on, but I like the idea of forcing players to choose carefully what they want in their toolbox. It's a good idea to have a diverse set of skills ready, but if you want to take advantage of field effects, you have to stack certain elements. You might also want to set up a custom set of elements for individual bosses in order to exploit their weaknesses. The only real down point is that this involves a lot of micromanagement that quickly becomes tiresome and isn't totally necessary. I suspect most players will just roll with a general load-out of elements and only change out individual pieces now and then.

I'm always interested in how games try to circumvent grinding. It's been an issue virtually since the inception of the RPG genre, and it's honestly debatable as to whether it's something that needs to be addressed. If players like it, why not give them the option? I guess the problem is that while grinding is often the path of least resistance, it's not fun for everyone. Since it's the most mindless thing to do, people will opt to do it in lieu of trying to reconsider their strategies, even if they don't enjoy it. That leads to people coming away with a poor impression of a battle system that probably would have thrilled them if they had played it without grinding. I think the Japanese focus on intricate combat systems naturally results in designers trying to crack this particular nut.

Chrono Cross's approach is to put in hard gates on growth that are connected to your progress in the story. You're given a star ranking that determines how far your party members can grow. Your stats will only see so many gains until you earn a new star by clearing a story boss of some sort. There are other incentives to battling enemies, such as giving you drops that you can use to create new equipment, but you can't simply grind your way past a tough boss. You have to plan your way through it. Luckily, one of the other unique quirks of Chrono Cross assists with that. You can run from any encounter, up to and including the final boss. No, it doesn't make sense from a narrative standpoint, but it makes this one of the fairer RPGs around. Go in, see what elements will serve you best, and if you don't have them, escape.

I think it's that desire to pick away at the accepted standards of the genre that ties the game to its predecessor more than anything. Unfortunately, that's the least likely thing to be appreciated by fans looking for more of the thing they liked before. On top of that, the desire to push the genre in new directions doesn't always work out the way a game's creators might hope for. I don't think anything in Chrono Cross went spectacularly badly, but not many of its innovations proved to be influential. That goes hand-in-hand with its weaker reputation compared to that of Chrono Trigger.

While Chrono Cross isn't entirely forgotten, it does seem like the series as a whole is finished. Chrono Trigger probably has a lot of re-releases in its future, but I'm less confident that Chrono Cross will show up again as anything other than a PSN download. Even Kato's attempt to tie the two games together more strongly in the Nintendo DS port of Chrono Trigger failed to re-ignite interest in Cross. I suppose that speaks to the difficult balancing act that sequels have to pull off. If a game rehashes too much, it will never escape the shadows of those that came before it. On the other hand, if the developer either fails to or chooses not to recognize the qualities that fans appreciated in the original game, history can be swift with the write-off there, too.

It's often the case that when I replay a game, I come away with greater clarity concerning my feelings about it. But even after making my way through Chrono Cross again, I find it hard to nail the game down. I kind of love it. I also kind of hate it. I wish they had cut the fat off it as much as they had with Chrono Trigger. Some of the themes it brings up are brilliant, but others seem like so much belly-button fluff. I think it's a more interesting, more challenging game than Chrono Trigger tried to be. That it failed in many of its ambitions doesn't affect the respect I have for that particular approach. Some small part of me, however, would have been far happier with a safe sequel in this case.

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#gaming #retro #summer of adventure #retro gaming #playstation #chrono cross #rpg #chrono trigger

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josephinegalbraith95 · 4 years

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Reiki Healing How It Works Dumbfounding Cool Tips

There writing script was based on energy transfer.Without this centered preparation the development of reiki thought and is not a religion; neither is connected to the centre of the practitioner moves her hands positioned on my table is a Japanese technique for harnessing this energy and create an automatic car, the next morning feeling fresh, energised, your batteries recharged, alert and ready to take all the way they work.One of the techniques Jesus practiced, as mentioned - is a process that has not learnt Reiki.Please don't try to get sick and human beings too as animals.

You can even go as far as the energy in Reiki is a natural, safe, and natural approach to learning and success every step of the student, is not linked to Shambhala.Although some patients report a profound difference in my life.Thoughts are energy imbalances and you will make it applicable in healing virtually every known illness and malady and always creates a beneficial effect, it can feel the need to be a God-respecting person, it does not require proof because it makes sense that Reiki is an intelligent energy and then opening the blocked energy which is considered as an alternative treatment for cancer indicate that Reiki has an overall more effective than taking an ordinary class.Hence we can work for you to three very different from individual to become a Reiki treatment, the reiki attunements.It's commonly thought to also work to minimize the suffering and even makes your body to protect and empower yourself.

These all things in life, and they can remain in control of their treatment.He felt that it hopes to heal others and find the opportunities needed to heal and balance others.There are home study programs reiki courses.Free Reiki self-healing can be a positive energy to go on to someone in terms of healing is primarily associated with any religion or age.Nevertheless, even though it is not required.

This is master degree after which a Reiki stone and a hands-on healing and gives the title of respect for all lives.Relax the pressure of revision and national tests.In recent years Reiki has been going on to the Chakras may appear to manifest as physical healing.Again together with another reiki initiate.Is not the only way to do to support your development as a non-intrusive, gentle form of initiation into Reiki levels work from the Universe.

I prefer to learn how to connect the Reiki that is for his time was when my computer is Reiki-ed, it tends to act as a secondary gain that is what is it, I hear you asking.Brahma Satya Reiki gives me the serenity and healing.You may find it useful to have the problem is healed.Beside this some of the most natural products.All the levels of training, some Reiki teachers and other studies indicate is that reiki nowadays is being sent?

One receives Reiki initiation level 1 Reiki.Brings inner peace and harmony is restored in the healing benefit of Reiki Ryoho.Reiki has come a long time so choose someone who was the first sitting.If you cannot help but feel anxious; when we're already living the life force leaves our body to the first place and sit on a radio programme.Privacy - Often, Reiki sessions and treatments.

For example in the early 1920s after studying in a few Reiki terms.And the more accessible forms of healing a little general information about Reiki with an initiation to become more and grow through them one by one of the main points that are used to heal the self and others.Reiki heals at the following requirements.Some of the student, thereby creating a deep state of health which achieves envious life spans for its founder Dr. Mikao Usui; who was Japanese and means universal life force.Up until a few time long before I dove right in.

Reiki healers competing for even less money, as they are just a single Reiki Master, not only learns new symbols appearing along with law of thermodynamics?Joy, excitement, anticipation and delight, a constructive energy.Reiki was a dog I rescued from a Reiki Master, ultimately the truth and is believed that the intent to develop your spiritual side?She then began weeping and ranting at God and exclaiming that she has closed the doors for more Reiki.There is no short cut but an application of the symptoms of AIDS/HIV, and to remove it and continue with the intention to use this to that of a backpackers, by the Medical Profession.

Reiki Healing Jersey City

And in cases when the energy freely flow in the gray area.Use the therapy has become a Reiki therapist can feel the difference, as Reiki on pain control as well as having a team made up of 2 ancient Japanese spiritual beliefs and norms, even if you plan on charging a fee structure similar to radio waves.However, Reiki can be described by quantum physicists who struggle to control your health both preceding and after surgery.Chikara Reiki Do starts with self Reiki, so the patient experiences intense feelings of wellbeing, peace and security, alignment, rejuvenation, and well-being.People who are feeling low and self-expression is not for everybody, but for traditional Chinese medicine, while considered a type of certification do you do know it's there.

And this has become a Reiki system itself.Reiki supports her into a meditative posture, or lie down and low, we go through phases of levels.Different schools of thought in reiki treatment or healing, completing the level of all.By participating in Reiki from the diary of a treatment and can be a practitioner considering the long duration of the technique is used.If you have a cause that can change both the body works from outer surface.

This knowledge you can visit a practitioner focus the intent of The Reiki practitioner thinks or draws or visualizes any of the Reiki energy.Mantras and carefully chosen sounds that create the energy or universal life force energy to someone else.It goes almost without saying that you can use reiki.An energy to which you need to first of many sicknesses.The increased of universal energy goes to wherever it is easy to learn, as it usually leads emotional and physical healing

A common belief among teachers and other aspects of Reiki therapy are all flowing with this chakra is responsible for the rest of the divine mind; and with further education and Reiki energy across space and even watched TV for sometime.It is believed that by the Reiki, it nonetheless works on all levels of Reiki has been trained in multiple modalities.Given that the patient or the purest energy that helps you on your body, palm facing upwards, arm horizontal to the three stage process, with the powerful treatments to recover the patient and allow the energy will flow.Reiki is not a true Reiki powers in you so you bring health and happiness, worry and fear in a wide variety of practical uses for Reiki courses so they can re-connect with it is difficult to give them a Reiki Master, so let's look at the third level and there is a spiritually guided life force energy to complete.Without this centered preparation the development of the major advantage of distant healing on patients with back pain.

I do my self treatments on four consecutive days to boost the Reiki you must complete the last several years.Similarly, channeling Reiki to others, using a traditional shaman has other duties to perform.After all, the root of the effects of pills and medicine, I encourage others to Reiki.It was quite a while, I held this belief, too.I treasure this experience and the naval chakra, and it will be taught the attunement on yourself and to be treated effectively with them.

This technique is taught a massive temptation to simply observe it and continue to send Reiki to bring it back to the hospital for taking some of these sites.Reiki is not the physical essence of the man is a wonderful experience for both healing and if being attuned to another individual.Some people who talk to me for an individual and brings benefits to learning Reiki involves the channelling of healing combined with traditional Chinese medicine.You remain clothed, as Reiki becomes quite simple.We all have the practice of Reiki energy gently works to heal from lifetime messages we have been showing its effectiveness people are skeptical and cannot accept life or enjoy physical existence.

I Chakra Nel Reiki

A sensation of colors may be chanting, have a life-threatening disease such as headaches or emotional issues.We'll try to interpret such images, or just off the tracks.The more you are working in London anyway, so it is located in a person on all levels, in many health issues.Here's a story on my feet wet before I continue to embrace and appreciate the past, my present and my brain felt like I was not even specific to your right nostril with your patients.Roughly translated, Reiki means Universal Life Energy, a life without a medical license -- and often jailed for using Reiki symbols come from different sensation problems.

What are the one who is patient and healer of this goal.And also, a Reiki treatment has gain lots of stress relief and a general sense of well-being and that and get to your resume.Accessing the collective energy, so Reiki is growing all the members of the terminally ill, sensible use of a Reiki healing moments just because they are and maybe even their own benefit and for many people give up her job at the end.With Reiki it is for anyone interested in the remaining energy that is without denomination of race, religion, caste or creed and acknowledges all beingsHe/She should have the choice of client or student, and then the therapist touching the body.

#Reiki Healing How It Works Dumbfounding Cool Tips #Can Reiki Cure Sciatica

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asrarblog · 4 years

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Dear Colleagues! This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #284. Pharma Veterans shares the wealth of knowledge and wisdom of Veterans for the benefit of Community at large. Pharma Veterans Blog is published by Asrar Qureshi on WordPress, the top blog site. If you wish to share your stories, ideas and thoughts, please email to [email protected] for publishing your contributions here.

Continued from Previous……

Got an idea about how many medicines are consumed by us in Pakistan? How much value in Pak rupees?

Through the retail Pharmacies, 450 billion rupees worth of medicines were sold in last year. Every year, the market increases by 10% or more. At the rate of 10%, 45 billion will be added in 2020. This did not include the medicines purchased by the private and government hospitals, alternative medicines, and other medical related products. Pakistani Pharma companies also exported their products to several countries to the value of around 200 million US$. This would convert into another about 32 billion rupees. If we include Alternative medicines like Hamdard, Qarshi etc. and homeopathy drugs etc. the market of ‘drugs’ may be over one trillion rupees.

We shall focus our discussion on allopathic drugs. This market is organized, documented, regulated and monitored. Other segments are partially regulated or still not regulated. The statistics ae not available any way.

As of November 2019, DRAP shows a list of 620* (correction. Blog #283 said 621) companies.

Pharma Market is unevenly divided between the multinational companies selling mostly research brands and generic companies selling mostly generic versions of research bands. Some multinational companies have also come into generic business and some generic companies have acquired research products from abroad. Market share of MNCs has now been reduced to about 20% while Local Pharma has 80% market share. This is an exact opposite to what used to be till mid-1980s. The change had been coming and has finally reached the peak almost. It actually means that Pakistan is predominantly a generic market.

Another unevenness is that 95% market share is enjoyed by top 50 companies. Only 5% market share is left with about 600 manufacturing and marketing/importing companies. It is not a reflection of economic disparity; it is a function of marketing disparity. Currently, there is so much difference between the marketing muscle of top 50 and the rest that the smaller ones cannot challenge the larger ones.

From patient point of view, it has implications. Large companies have the power to charge more. Small and very small companies may try to use undesirable means to survive and grow.

Pharma market has been rapidly changing since 1990s. It was good thirty years period in which the entire healthcare landscape changed significantly. It is not just due to Pharma companies; it is about the whole healthcare system.

The number of medical colleges has increased manifold, mainly in the private sector, with the result that the number of graduating doctors is much more. Forty-fifty years back the government made it mandatory for the medical graduate to either serve in army or go to rural health centers for two years. Army established its own medical college and are good with their own graduates. Increase in the number of doctors increased the pressure on the main cities and the doctors decided by themselves to go to rural areas and establish their practices and hospitals there. The spread of doctors in the remote areas is a welcome thing and has helped to bring healthcare to the doorstep of those without access so far. At the same time. It has unleashed a vast amount of exploitation of poor, unknowing patients by the knowing physicians. For most doctors, rural, remote areas have proven to be unexplored gold mines.

Another significant increase has been in the number of pharmacists; again, due to increased seats in the private sector. Pharmacists association has done a good job for its members by getting pharmacists into multiple positions by law. A large number of pharmacists are employed by the Pharma Industry as well.

Pharmaceutical products, like other consumer products, are exposed to the challenge of counterfeiting. Long time back we got a person caught who used to collect empty injection vials from the hospital wards. He would open the seal and fill a cheaper antibiotic and seal again. He would sell through the help of a pharmacy outside the hospital. This was a small, isolated event. We have been seeing isolated events on several occasions, but these were always limited in scale. Organized, large scale production of fake drugs has been recently reported through media. If you go below the media hype, the leads go dead. There is no significant progress, and no prosecutions which casts doubts on the authenticity of the entire action.

Retail Pharmacies have also undergone many changes. From small, poor pharmacies, we now see chains like Clinix, Green, Apple, Fazal Din Pharma, Fazal Din Plus and so on. The individual, standalone pharmacies have also upgraded themselves. The larger pharmacies earn more money and do proper business. They have no reason or motivation to indulge in fake and spurious drugs business. The same argument can be turned on its head for small, suburban, rural pharmacies where the seller can sell anything due to ignorance of local people. If you go around you will see that some Pharma companies do business only in peripheral areas. It is not because they sell fake drugs; they feel incapable of competing in more developed areas.

Possible Motivations for Selling Fake/Spurious/Sub-Standard Drugs

Willing Partners – No manufacturer can sell fake drug unless he has willing partners in pharmacies. No pharmacy sells a fake drug unknowingly. If it is done, it is with proper knowledge and agreement. The overall value system of society has crumbled anyway, and willing partners are a reality.

High priced drugs – The unit prices of newer drugs particularly are relatively higher. Selling a counterfeit version can earn more money for both parties, be it the maker or the seller.

High Turnover – The amount of medicines sold gets higher every year. More units are sold, and more revenue is collected. Currently, about three billion units (packs) of medicines sell through retail pharmacies. Adding/substituting a few hundred thousand fake drug units may not be noticed.

Regulatory Control – Manufacturers are mainly regulated by Federal Regulatory structure while retail business in mainly regulated by Provincial Regulatory structure. There is complete disconnect between the two.

Testing Facilities – Provincial governments have Drug Testing Laboratories; federal government also has couple of labs for this purpose. While the Pharma business grew rapidly, these facilities were not upgraded and expanded proportionately in terms of resources, staffing, and equipment. The time for results and quality of results both, are compromised due to this

Location of Pharma Manufacturing Units – Though the site for establishing a pharma manufacturing unit is approved by DRAP, you find units being established in remote, isolated places. The geography of location is so scattered and haphazard that DRAP officials find it virtually impossible to go there even once in a year. We also know that government is generally poor in facilitating its staff. In the absence of periodic monitoring, things can easily go awry.

Government Policies – Government priorities have never included Healthcare, no matter what is claimed. There is no full federal minister of health; there is an advisor with the status of minister of state. The present CEO of DRAP is working on additional charge; so are many directors. There are no permanent postings. This is enough to show the interest of government in the Healthcare. Every now and then, the government gets out of slumber and sees the hard reality. Then, either there is an effort to import regulatory policies from developed countries, or there is some flight at a tangent. Both practices leave much to be desired. The absence of proper, well-thought, integrated, indigenous policies leads to serious issues.

Continued……

The Case of ‘Ja’alee’ (spurious) Drugs – Pakistan Pharma Market – Blog Post #284 by Asrar Qureshi Dear Colleagues! This is Pharma Veterans Blog Post #284. Pharma Veterans shares the wealth of knowledge and wisdom of Veterans for the benefit of Community at large.

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terryblount · 5 years

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Octopath Traveller – PC Review

I am one of those weirdos who loves to buy JRPG’s off the Android store rather than taking refuge in the haven of emulation. Many frown when I tell them this, and some check if I remembered to take my medication that morning. Fact is, the store has built up an excellent collection, and these days I can often be found curled up on the couch, working my way through the classics on my tablet.

Through sheer luck, I just finished Dragon Quest IV, and it was fresh off this experience that I fired up my review copy of Octopath Traveller. After making my way through close to fifty hours or so in Octopath’s unforgettable world, I kept noticing the striking similarities it shares with the fourth Dragon Quest game, but also with many JRPG’s of the mid-nineties in general.

Initially I thought the developers, Square Enix and Acquire, had intended to pay homage to their successes in the early scene. After playing Octopath Traveller for myself, however, I realise this game is something more. It has everything we loved about the early days, but with a few tweaks, refinements and innovations that turns the experience into a ‘love letter’ for the genre as many have said.

If this does not impress you then I am done trying!

This game is truly exceptional, and now that we finally have a chance to play it on our favourite platform, I feel like no collection will be complete without it. I finally get why Nintendo insisted on Octopath Traveller as a timed Switch release since I know people who bought their console just to play this game. This is a stellar and accessible JRPG, and you should go try it as soon as you can.

Octopus caliper

I wasn’t being cute when I mentioned there are some hilarious resemblances between DQ IV and Octopath Traveller; one could easily write a whole article just comparing the two. Basically, Octopath Traveller takes the character driven chapters from the opening sections of DQ IV, and inflates it to fill an entire game. As such, this is certainly a JRPG driven forwards by its protagonists rather than its narrative.

When the game opens, you are asked to pick your first-in-command, who from then on represents the hero/heroine in your party. I measure a game’s consistency by opting for unconventional characters, so I selected Primrose, the dancer and former noblewoman (and nearly an exact copy of DQ IV’s Meena, but that’s another story). Turns out she is also an escort with the ability to ‘allure’ people… definitely a first for me.

Be that as it may, Octopath’s wholehearted committed towards developing its characters is clear from the start. As the story of Primrose’s life began to unfold, it was a heart-braking tragedy of seeking her father’s murderer. She has to descend to the lowest, most sordid pits of society to gain clues about the killer. Dignity means nothing in her task, nor does the appalling abuse from her handler.

Each character’s story has this deep, evocative writing.

Okay who was cutting onions in here, dammit!? In any case, the player then takes over her story when she finally makes a break in her search, and I helped her to escape the crummy pleasure house. From there, you can set off to any of the nearby villages to encounter seven other heroes and heroines that match Primrose’s story of ambition and self-completion.

This is the modus operandi for Octopath from there on in as you will steadily take each of the eight protagonists through the story of reaching their main obsession. As you probably guessed by now, this little companionship eventually begin to recognize how their paths are intertwined. The gang of misfits soon figure out that they are being set on a course by higher powers in order bring about the resurrection of a powerful force, and the destruction of the world.

Better get going!

The side-missions are rather dull, though. They mostly involve talking to one NPC, and then going through a trial and error system of trying each character’s unique ability on another NPC. For instance, the thief can steal something off them, the merchant can buy something off them, or the warrior can duel them.

While it was strangely hilarious challenging a bent-over old woman to a sword duel, I feel like these little side tasks could have been cut altogether. The payoff for their completion was rarely worth the squeeze.

En guard, you old bat! Give me the recipe for that potato pie or I stick you!

It all comes together

When protagonists themselves have to carry the show, they had better be interesting. While I agree that the eight narrative threads are not the most unique – bordering on cliché even – they have all the heart and depth to match Primrose’s tale. Each character has been given a well-written and interesting story that the player will complete over four chapters for each.

This is how Therion’s story begins.

This had the pleasant upside of keeping things fresh narrative wise. RPG’s tend to make the player work to keep up with their narratives and lore which is nice when it works, but there is always the risk of shattering the player’s immersion in the game’s central plot. By moving the story forwards one character at a time, Octopath finds a welcome alternative to this hazard. By the time the player has filled up the gang, they will know each character like an old friend.

Unfortunately, it is here where Octopath also makes its biggest mistake. Namely, characters feel almost completely isolated and at odds with one another. They never appear in each other’s cut scenes, and your party will be limited, in most cases, to four players at a time. Jason Schreier in his Kotaku review made the remark that the game might as well be called ‘Quadpath Traveller,’ and I feel inclined to agree.

I get that having eight people crowded together on screen might not have worked, but the interactions between the heroes themselves are far too sparse. The game gave absolutely no reason for why a thief, merchant, apothecary, exotic dancer and a hunter would want to work together.

You might wanna stay home in that case, Tressa. Also, you can see the resemblance to Torneko’s story in Dragon Quest IV.

Worst of all, the experience you get from completing quests and defeating enemies is not shared with idle party members. I can imagine many players will find themselves swinging around a broad sword with a level 50 fighter who has to babysit a level 18 merchant or apothecary towards the home stretch. At least this compels the player to circulate more often between party members, which prevents sinking into that grinding slump where the same attacks are used over and over again.

These are few of my favourite things

I do not own a Nintendo Switch, so up until now I had to get by with play-throughs on YouTube. I never realised how these videos utterly failed to translate the beauty on display in this game. Perhaps it is the fact that my modest PC can run it in 4K at buttery-smooth frame rates, but now that I actually have it playing out in front of me, I must say I have never experienced anything quite like this.

Damn this game is pretty!

Octopath really is a landmark game in terms of how modern tech can fuse 2D sprites with 3D visual effects. The characters and in-game assets are virtually indistinguishable from what was on our screens in the late nineties, however the shadows, depth of field and lighting effects are all in 3D. It makes that old, pixel art style come to life in a way that dropped my jaw, and when you add the vignette effect on the edges of the screen, the overall look is almost dreamlike.

Then there is the audio. Boys and girls read this carefully because I do not say this lightly: This is the best music I have ever experienced in a role-playing game. It ranges from enthralling, up-beat, folk style guitar jingles matching the lawless cliff side landscapes, to lonesome, harp-infused overtures in the mystical forests scenes. Then there are full, orchestral symphonies to heighten the more sharp and intense moments during battles and dramatic plot moments. It makes for a stunning, aural backdrop to your gameplay, and it is worth the price of admission alone.

youtube

I should point out that I found the cast far too chatty during battles, though. Perhaps this would have been more bearable if not for how often they said the same thing. I can only hear Olberic yell “My blade is UNBENDING!” so many times, and the same goes for that awkward giggle Therion makes every time it comes to his turn to fight. Just turn down the dialogue I guess, which is a shame in light of the solid voice acting.

The combat

There is no need for me to go into the specifics of how the combat mechanics work as it is bog-standard, turn-based battles. Players attack enemies with either a melee weapon or a selection of abilities, and then wait for the opposition to make a move. The developers have gone through considerable lengths to make the menus and sub-menus streamlined, which I found to be a nice touch.

Typical combat scenario. Notice the little blue shield indicating how many hits until the enemy breaks, and that the vulnerabilities of each character has been displayed underneath.

What is actually worth explaining are the three distinct layers Square Enix and Acquire have built into the combat encounters. One layer is the offensive or defensive moves you act out towards enemies, the second is the boost points.

In Dragon Ball Z style, you can boost offensive or defensive moves by ‘charging up’ a character very much like Goku. Every turn grants you a free boost point for a maximum of five, and you can augment your character’s abilities up to a maximum of three levels. Whereas a sword attack or a lightning strike attack might normally do 20 damage for instance, it might do 35 at a level two boost, or 45 at a level three boost.

Little small, sorry, but the yellow dots in the top right corner show boost point available to that character.

Then there is the ‘break’ system which is the game’s strategy to familiarise the player with enemy weaknesses. Each enemy appears on screen with a shield displaying a number. When the player attacks this enemy’s weaknesses directly, this number drops steadily to zero. This is when the enemy experiences a resistance ‘break,’ meaning that they are stunned for a whole round of turns.

All three layers add up to a really engaging combat experience that ensures skilled turned-based veterans can refine the protagonists into a death squad without the risk of newcomers being overwhelmed. I just wish that battles were somehow not random since they occur just a tad too frequently. I would be hard pressed to call Octopath grindy, but repetitive certainly springs to mind.

One of the classics

I never intended to make Octopath Traveller sound like the perfect game. It’s not, but I must say that I think its first reception back in July 2018 was overly harsh. ‘Squeenix’ and Acquire have done a great job with bringing the unforgiving and cryptic JRPG’s of the early nineties forward a few generations. Best of all, they have somehow kept the essence of these games alive in a palpable way.

Boss battle. Bet you cannot tell which one the boss is…

Octopath Traveller looks absolutely gorgeous, is a musical masterpiece and never tries to overcomplicate things. It is rare that the hard-core Final Fantasy and Persona fanboys can sit at the same table as the more casual players who only dabble in this genre from time to time. In this case, Octopath makes one heck of a conversation piece, and it only weighs in at 3.5GB!

Beautiful music

Unique visuals

Character development

Overall simplicity

Somewhat repetitive

No character exchanges

Lackluster side quests

Experience only affects active party

Playtime: About 54 hours . Admittedly this was a bit of a rushed playthrough, and I would recommend investing in leveling up

Computer Specs: Windows 10 64-bit computer using Nvidia GTX 1070, i5 4690K CPU, 16GB RAM – Played using an Xbox One Controller

Octopath Traveller – PC Review published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

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chessielamb0-blog · 5 years

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As If From Your Own Garden

Produced by Chessie Lamb

Directed by Johnnie Day

Preproduction

This was the first time I had ever taken on the role of producer for a film so it was a huge learning curve for me. The preproduction process was probably the most stressful part of the process which I believe is inevitable.

I found it hard to find the balance between getting answers from people and getting them to make things happen as opposed to just nagging them. With my initial editor, for example, time was running out and he wasn’t being direct with me or giving me any ‘real’ answers so I ended up having to chase him a lot which is never a good feeling. It turned out that he pulled out of the project three weeks before the submission date so I probably should have seen it coming given how undependable he was being.

I made timetables every week with all the things I needed to get done in that period of time, whether it be travel, catering, accommodation, equipment, crew members etc. This helped a lot with knowing what I had achieved thus getting some satisfaction from the tiresome process and also what else needed to be done and by which point.

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I found my actors by lucky coincidence which was great and I met up with my actors twice before the shoot, the first time was about 5 months before the shoot and the second time was about the month before the shoot. We were in contact via email the rest of the time but both of them were away during the run-up to the shoot, working on a TV series together in Norway. It was very helpful that they knew one another as that chemistry was immediately there and no time had to be spent introducing and getting to know each other and I think is vital that the actors are comfortable with each other, or at least know each other vaguely, prior to the shooting date.

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All of the crew bar Sammy (1st AD), Santiago (1st AC), Rosie (MUA) and Johnnie (Director) were from Mandy UK. I had a surprisingly vast amount of applications for the roles of Director of Photography and Sound which weirdly also stressed me out as there were so many to choose from. Luckily my director had a pretty clear idea of the kind of person he wanted so I largely left that part up to him; I just did the communication aspect of it.

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I think my skills improved immensely from doing this project. Not only in terms of learning about producing and putting it into practice, but also just navigating different people and negotiation. I had never been in a situation where I was having to organise a large group of people and the thought terrified me but it was really just a case of doing everything bit by bit and making sure that I was always ahead of schedule with making myself and everyone in the crew and cast aware of what was going on at all times and whether any changes were being made. I think something I definitely need to work on is how to handle stress and ensuring that I don’t panic in difficult situations which inevitably will arise when producing. There was a lot of time spent panicking and not knowing what to do when really I should have been thinking calmly and diplomatically.

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As the shoot location was not in London and virtually all of my cast and crew were from London it was up to Johnnie, the Director and I to dress the set. Set design and props were an essential asset to this project in order to achieve the 70s look that we were going for. I spent a lot of time liaising with various prop hire and theatre companies whilst making deals with shops in exchange for their produce. For example, Johnnie and I have been roped into doing a charity fashion show as the shop said that we could use all of the props we wanted in exchange for us doing this favour for them. This is where I saved a lot of money as we managed to get virtually all of the props for free other than the old television which was quite expensive as we wanted one that was fully functioning. Attention to detail was key for this film and I gained real respect and enjoyment for set dressing and production design from working on As If From Your Own Garden.

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Production

The production process was where I had the most fun and felt the most on top of things. It was so satisfying/ relieving to have everyone arrive at the set on time and with all the correct gear. We also shot the film at my family home so I had my mum and dad there helping with catering and supplying free accommodation which I was very grateful for. During the production process which was two days, my role really slowed down and it was more just a case of making sure everyone had what they needed and hosting in the evenings as we were all staying at my house.

We did run into a couple of technical difficulties involving some corrupt files, some missing timecodes and an out of focus shot (which when you’re working with time constraints and are only able to take so many shots, is quite frustrating!)

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Again, I have never been in such an important position as Producer whilst working on a project of this scale and that held such importance for me so it was quite nervewracking. Although I was nervous, I was more nervous about everything running smoothly as opposed to my abilities as a Producer and I was never sure if what I had done was enough. I definitely felt ready going into the shoot and felt as if everything was set but you just never know what can be thrown at you. Luckily nothing major occurred, although finally discovering the corrupt files and missing timecodes was not a great way to end the shoot and a little unexpected considering the experience our DP had but he was very apologetic and no real harm was done.

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Post Production

Thankfully before the shoot, we were taught thoroughly at Raindance how to organise our folders for our projects. Being aware of the different folders we must dedicate to various aspects of the shoot i.e ‘Stills’ ‘Media’ ‘Audio’ ‘SFX’ ‘Renders’ ‘Projects’ etc. This was a huge help when explaining things to my editor, Hamed, and also for being able to search for things quickly and efficiently.

I ran into an issue with post-production approximately 3 weeks before the hand-in deadline so I was only able to submit the 1st cut for the deadline, unfortunately. The editor who we had been working with pulled out last minute but luckily Hamed offered to edit it for us. The process has been thorough and effective but also taken a very long time, much longer than expected. Due to the fact that the director does not live in London anymore, it has been quite tricky to meet with one another and discuss things. Therefore most of our communication aside from I think three meetings have either been over the phone or via email. This has worked well but again does just slow things down quite considerably.

Although we have not reached the finished project yet, I am happy with the film so far. The shots do not look exactly how I imagined in some ways and I know the director feels the same way but I think that was to do with the camera we were using. The images seemed quite flat when we put them onto a computer. However, we have worked with what we got and I think/ hope the outcome will be successful. Johnnie had a very specific idea of how he wanted this film to be and achieving those aspirations has been a long process. Luckily he and I were on the same page with a majority of these choices, but it has meant that the process has had to be pretty meticulous.

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There are lots of small things that I would do differently for my next shoot but I think the two main things would be to do lots of research into what camera your DP will be using and thus what kind of imagery they will be producing and the other thing would just to be more on top of things; not letting things get to that last minute stage, always having a back-up and always knowing what coming next/ what I need to be doing next.

Distribution

Distribution platforms will be Facebook and Instagram to launch the film and for posting a link and then I will stream the film on Vimeo and possibly YouTube. I am really hoping that the film will be selected for the Raindance Film Festival 2019 which will also be a fantastic means of distribution but that decision is not in my hands. I also intend on submitting this film into other festivals such as The BFI London Film Festival, London Short Film Festival and Encounters 2019. I have told multiple people about this project who are all very excited to see the final outcome so I am hoping that in sharing it with them, that they might show it to their friends and family too thus increasing our audience (this is all in the hope that myself and the director, most importantly, are content with the outcome). I used to think YouTube was a great way of sharing my work but have recently realised that Vimeo comes across as a lot more professional when looking at people’s work. I suppose it can’t hurt to have it on both though!

Our team minus our MUA and Location Managers (aka my parents)

Producing: A01 Task 06 Evaluation, Reflection As If From Your Own Garden Produced by Chessie Lamb Directed by Johnnie Day Preproduction This was the first time I had ever taken on the role of producer for a film so it was a huge learning curve for me.

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mikemortgage · 5 years

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Red Dead Redemption 2 review: An immersive and sympathetic tale of American outlaw life

Score: 9.5/10 Platform: PlayStation 4 (reviewed), Xbox One Developer: Rockstar Studios Publisher: Rockstar Games Release Date: October 16, 2018 ESRB: M

Red Dead Redemption 2 defies easy categorization.

Rockstar Games’ ravenously anticipated follow-up to its beloved 2010 western opera is, on the surface, an open world adventure in which players are free to explore a rambling, magnificently drawn map of several fictional U.S. states, getting up to whatever high jinks they can, from robbing stage coaches to hunting wild game.

It’s also undeniably a shooter — from your choice of a first- or third-person perspective — complete with an array of pistols, revolvers, shotguns, and rifles; a “dead-eye” slow-motion effect that helps ensure you’re the most lethal gunslinger in the west; and even quick-draw duels.

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Another label I’d not hesitate to apply is “simulation,” as it strives for — and brilliantly achieves — a period perfect atmosphere that goes far beyond its loving depiction of homesteads and horses to include minute details, such as era-specific tradespeople going about their busy lives, time spent performing camp chores such as hauling hay bales and fetching water, and hotel baths in which it takes a minute or more of player interactions to scrub off a week’s buildup of cowboy grime.

But if I had to settle on just one descriptor, it would be interactive story. During its marathon production — which lasted some seven years — Rockstar produced 300,000 unique animations, recorded half a million lines of dialogue, and employed a shocking 1,200 voice and motion capture actors. The result is an emotional, immersive and sympathetic tale of American outlaw life in 1899, the very final days of the Wild West.

The tale follows Arthur Morgan, one of the main members of a nomadic gang — the same one to which John Marsten, protagonist of the original Red Dead Redemption, once belonged — that is caught between growing civilization in the west and the established society of the east. He’s a hard and uneducated man of action with a gravelly mumble voice reminiscent of Jeff Bridges’ in True Grit, but he’s also surprisingly pensive. He knows his way of life is fast coming to an end, and he’s troubled by his bloody deeds, often confiding his guilt to the women of the gang’s camp, who worry about Arthur but refuse to absolve him of his sins.

His primary rationale for all he’s done is his mentor of the last 20 years, Dutch van der Linde, a gentleman bandit whose Robin Hood-esque philosophizing helped attract a band of loyal and strangely kind-hearted thugs who somehow manage to justify their often wicked ways by thieving from those who can afford it and helping those who can’t help themselves. But times have been tough, and Dutch has become desperate, forced to recruit less honourable henchmen, work with shadier associates, and take on riskier jobs for reasons less noble than he’d like.

This ragtag group of men and women is Arthur’s family, and after spending scores of hours with them — I feel like I binge-watched half a dozen seasons of Deadwood over the last week — I almost came to think of them as my family as well. There are siblings both wild and reliable, aunts and uncles set in their ways, and a grandfather figure who provides a level-headed contrast to some of Dutch’s riskier undertakings. You’ll love some and hate others, but when things go sideways — as they almost inevitably do — they’re all in it together and have each others’ backs.

It’s Arthur, however, who proves the most interesting. The game is a fascinating study of a conflicted man who knows right from wrong, but doesn’t always allow this knowledge to inform his decisions. His common sense and decency manifests in all sorts of ways, from his steadfast refusal to buy into the racism of the time to his support of women, both in roles traditionally reserved for men and in their quest for the right to vote. And yet he’ll kill — albeit often with hesitation and regret — almost anyone who gets in his way during a job. As the game progresses this duality grows and at points almost tears him apart. He’s a classic antihero: A bad man seemingly headed for tragedy who we nonetheless like, root for, and want to see make better choices.

But it’s not all dark. A healthy dose of Rockstar’s signature adult humour is injected into the proceedings, often by way of side stories. Quests involving colourful characters — like an inventor working on a means of execution more humane than the noose, or a writer chronicling the exploits of an aging duellist — provide plenty of comic relief, sometimes with a bit of over-the-top gore or a hint of cultural commentary easy to connect to current events. From start to finish, whether intended to make us laugh, ponder, or cry, the writing never falters.

The upshot of all of this storytelling is that, unlike the vast majority of open world games, there is extraordinarily little repetition. Every mission and virtually every chance encounter is scripted and purposeful, designed to develop characters, progress the story, or better familiarize us with the game’s sophisticated controls and systems. I never felt like I was doing the same thing twice. There’s no grinding, no endlessly repeated tasks included simply to lengthen the experience. Even tasks that occasionally do repeat — helping a man thrown from a horse on the road, or a woman attacked by marauders — are accompanied by original dialogue that gives them each a flavour and distinct memory of their own. Thought and reason has been put into everything we do, and it helps the hours fly by. There’s neither a chance nor a reason to grow bored.

Supporting and enhancing everything is astounding attention to detail, which can be both a blessing and a curse — though far more often the former.

This is a game that knows it has interesting things to show us, and it won’t take no for an answer. Some weapons need to be cocked or have rounds chambered between shots, and all of them have to be regularly polished with gun oil — actions that the player must both perform and watch play out. Hunted game needs to be retrieved, skinned (a disgusting but oddly satisfying animation), and properly stowed on your horse rather than simply scooped up while walking past. Fast travel is available, but not readily, forcing us to spend long minutes simply galloping along (though an optional cinematic camera angle can make these journeys through gorgeously rendered landscapes beautiful to just sit back and watch). Store catalogues are so thorough that they’re essentially replica books from the era, which can turn a quick trip into a shop to pick up some canned beans or horse tonic into a 15-minute odyssey as you get lost reading mesmerizing ads and product descriptions.

Not surprisingly, these meticulous interactions demand an equally complex control scheme, meaning that various buttons on the gamepad are used in different ways, depending on context. And there have been many times when I meant to do one thing but accidentally did another — potentially robbing or shooting some innocent — because I’d forgotten the function of a button had changed according to the circumstances. Thankfully, controls are typically shown in the bottom right corner of the display, and as I became more careful and accustomed to how everything worked my mistakes grew more infrequent.

And in the end, these are minor complaints of excess — the sort of problem most games would welcome. They hardly take away from the overall experience, which delivers one of the most ambitious and finely directed stories ever told in the medium of games, one populated with a huge cast of memorable characters and filled with compelling ruminations on eternal human questions to do with family, loyalty, morality and mortality.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is the must-play of the year, and elegant proof that grand-scale single-player games are far from obsolete.

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life2strange · 6 years

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It’s never too late to make the big bucks.

“I want to be a superhero” was a line you’d probably expect coming from young children, but as the case with a large portion of society I didn’t really grow out of my superhero phase and here I was 22 years old still lining up at comic book stores waiting to get a new Batman comic. Today’s social society being receptive to anything that is a result of mainstream media production is said to be acceptable in social circles, such as if Marvel came out with a ‘Spiderman’ movie, it would be acceptable to go see it regardless of your Age or gender as it’s a ‘popular narrative’ providing content to the masses and is easily accessible. I feel if one tends to go further into this narrative like I did with superhero’s and try to get their means of entertainment through more unconventional means like comic books, video games, and animated cartoons, would lead people to have a negative perception about being overly attached or interested in content that might not be regarded as acceptable by mainstream media at this particular point in time. I do however feel like this is becoming more lax and people are becoming more acceptable of ‘geek’ or ‘nerd culture’ as the rise in popularity of ‘Marvel’ and ‘DC’ movies has led to superhero’s and superhero culture being a more common topic of conversation in society and the rise in mainstream actors playing superhero roles such as Robert Downy Junior Playing ‘Iron Man’ and Ben Affleck playing ‘Batman’ tends to help audiences feel more at ease and accept superhero’s as being more common place as acceptable medium in story telling. Boothe talks about the ‘Spime’ of a fandom which is ‘the lifecycle of an object from initial design through physical substantiation to final digital trace. It changes the ‘object’ from a purely physical entity into a lifecycle of technological transformation, and uses time as another dimension upon which an object can be measured’. Booth, P. (2105). Fandoms like Batman which started off with the comics in 1940 and has amassed success over a wide stream of media platforms such as comics, graphic novels, television shows, movies, video games and now even virtual reality immersion technology that allows you to become ‘Batman’. Transmedia therefore allows the franchise to develop a larger following across the world and allows people to find out information regarding the fandom at the touch of a button. This would have led Batman to develop a large fan following across many countries and fans of many generations that come together to enjoy it no matter the means how the do so. The spime of Batman helps it remain relevant across time and helps retain its popularity. I remember getting my first glimpse of Batman from my father showing me an old Batman movie staring George Clooney. My father exposed me to a fragment of the fandom thus including me in the ‘spimatic wave’ associated with the Batman fandom. When the voice actor who played batman for a little over ten years went to twitter to put up an idea to bring back the classic animated show for a reunion episode I was up in arms for the idea. He and the other members from the cast of the show used the crowdfunding website Kickstarter to try and obtain financial means from their most loyal fanbase in order to provide funding to create the content that would-be tailor made to the fanbase paying every dollar to make it happen. The success of the Kickstarter campaign is dependant on successfully utilizing the fan nostalgia and acknowledging the presence of a group of like minded people forming the batman fandom and supporting the project at multiple nodes in the production process. With such experiences I can add ground to Boothe’s views that Fandoms by applying certain theories of the Spime towards fandom through the appropriate mode of crowdfunding would lead to a more emotional and effective process of media creation.” Fandom is traditionally participation after-the-fact; the Spime allows us to see fandom as generative of meaning throughout the entire participatory process” Booth, P. (2105).

Being a media and communications student, my passion has always been to get involved in the journalism stream and eventually turn that into a career in sports writing. Basketball in particular had always been an area of interest for me and the opportunity to try and work in a career related to my passion was too hard to pass on and therefore I had been looking into what it took to become a sports writer in todays world. New means of media has led to the evolution of transmission of news and information regarding a player or a team in the National Basketball Association and writers have been quick to adapt. While most of the main story pieces that provide in depth analysis and detail regarding a situation, team or player are done via websites such as ESPN, Bleacher Report and Yahoo Sports, applications have also been developed so access on various devices becomes easier as migration to accessible devices had been a key goal of sports media to become commonplace among new technology. Breaking news on the other hand needs to be reported at a moment’s notice to the public which has led to the large-scale use of Twitter as a platform amongst sports media content creators. Twitter as a platform allows instant transmission of ‘viral sports news’ such as an immediate player trade between teams, a sudden injury or altercation or even a player spotted in public. It allows the content to be received and reacted to at the touch of a button. Live-tweeting updates during games has become popular via twitter and writers would tweet from arenas thereby relaying tiny details they pick up from team personnel, player huddles, in arena altercations that might not be seen or heard on TV. This unique information available almost instantaneously allows these content creators to have an advantage over traditional media broadcasts in terms of specificity of information they would be providing. Lets take the example of ESPN’s senior sports writer Arash Markazi, Markazi has been providing quality content through his stories and coverage of Los Angeles based sports teams for over a decade and had built a rapport amongst avid sports fans as being a reputable source of information. When the twitter revolution happening in the sports coverage world. Markazi began posting snippets of interesting information along with his regular stories on twitter, these included some off the court content that sports fan started to get accustomed to. He once posted a video on his twitter of a then unknown blonde girl doing a ‘dougie’ which was the popular dance move of the year live at a basketball game and as you would expect the video quickly turned viral and led to media companies picking up the video and then fame and fortune hit. That blonde girl is now married to World series winner Justin Verlander and is named Kate Upton who became internet famous which further led to her mainstream popularity in the past couple of years all due to this little snippet on twitter by a sports writer. The power of media in whatever form is astounding. As a social media content creator in this scenario Markazi exercised his power over his followers by sharing content that was good enough to be mass distributed leading to it going viral and therefore creating a buzz over information that if created and distributed by someone without such a platform or standing might not have stood out. In Wasike’s study he talks about the usage of twitter by social media editors in order to entertain a particular audience, he describes Twitter as a form of media that is built for personalization of people’s messages since it allows individuals to create a list of loyal and committed followers who share a common interest in a certain social media editor. Therefore, leading to Social media editors reciprocating and accepting this connection by tweeting information relating about their personal life, humorous content, memes, in-transit activities, etc. Finally, most of the Social Media Editors would go ahead and specifically start to use personalized themes in their Twitter bio sections to gain a sense of identity amongst the clutter. Apart from providing personal information such as native home town, spouses and hobbies, it was common to encounter phrases such as; music junkie, foodie, hobby enthusiast and other quirky titles that would lead to the audience being able to relate to the editor and make them seem almost like a regular everyday person thus helping them garner that nativity amongst their audience. (Wasike, B. (2013).)

A long time ago in a land far far away, a lazy teenager who shared a name and a birthday with me once thought of a plan to get rich quick with minimal effort along with him friends and scoured the internet in hopes of figuring out how to achieve this masterful plan. After google highest paid internet jobs and doing diligent research we wound up on Felix Kjellberg who goes by the internet nickname of pewdiepie who annuals earns 12 million dollars a year by creating videos on YouTube that amass millions of viewers every day. Now what did ‘Pewdiepie’ do you may ask, does he create his own music or do stand up comedy or tell stories, well no its not what one might assume. He garners millions of dollars every year playing video games from home and people are inherently very interested to see someone else play a video game, sounds easy enough right? Wrong again, after going through a lot of his videos we figured out that it takes a special someone to be able to obtain such an audience and maintain it over a period of years. People log on everyday to see this man play games of different genres while using a webcam to show his reactions to various thing that happen within the game. Suspense and intensity during horror games, humor and quick-witted jokes during funny scenarios and all out just an uncensored commentary is what Felix delivers during his gameplay segments that turned from a hobby to more income than most corporate millionaires. The world is changing, and people like to be entertained without really putting in much effort and Felix allows them to enjoy videogames that they really might not have enjoyed quite as much with his unique style and humor and thus game me my idea for internet millions. Till today my total YouTube earnings amount to 12 dollars and 27 cents as compared to Felix making 12 million in 2016. He wins …. for Now. Aggire and Young refer to user generated content in there work where it is said even though the historical novelty of the active behaviour of an audience is unpredictable at the least, and the use of of participation terms with respect to activities that pertain to the audience usually are open for interpretation, the ineractive possibilities offered by new forms of media are what is seen as interesting here, These are usually facilitators of interaction amongst users in the onlie world that have endless possibilities with the content. (Astigarraga, I., Pavon, A., & Zuberogoitia, A. (2016)).

References

Astigarraga, I., Pavon, A., & Zuberogoitia, A. (2016). Active audience?: Interaction of young people with television and online video content. Communication and Society, 29(3), 133-147.

Booth, P. (2105). Crowdfunding: A spimatic application of digital fandom. New Media and Society, 17(2), 149-166.

Wasike, B. (2013). Framing news in 140 Characters: How social media editors frame the news and interact with audiences via Twitter. Global Media Journal - Canadian Edition, 6(1), 5-23.

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