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jakekiszkaenthusiast · 2 years

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Tell Me

pairing: jake kiszka x reader

warnings: smut, thigh riding, face riding, kinda angsty.

author’s note: PORCH LIGHT FOLLOW UP! i kiiiiiiiiinda hate my writing in this lol. but i had a VISION and i had to write it. also thank u to the lovely @jakekiszkasgiggle for suggesting i do a follow up :D

link to the first part!: porch light

it had been months since you’d even thought of him, so to see him sat at your favourite table in your favourite bar was unsettling.

you tried your hardest to avoid him, avoid the thoughts which already begun to creep in the back of your mind, but after catching his eyes one too many times, you knew he would approach you at some point in the night.

it happened when you got up to order more drinks. you were leaning against the counter, waiting to pay, when a warm hand at the swell of your ass made itself known. you stiffened, gripping your bank card and blinking a few times, trying to ignore the finger pushing your hair behind your shoulder.

“long time no see, hmm?” he murmured into your ear, so close you could feel his breath. you nod firmly, eyes remaining forward.

“should be saying the same to you. i certainly didn’t leave town for a year.” he breathed a laugh, the warm air tickling your cheek.

“yeah, well i’m back now. thought you’d be happier to see me, in all honesty.” you roll your eyes at his arrogance and impatiently tap your card against the counter, scanning the room for the bartender.

“you’re the last person i want to see, jake.”

“you’re not seriously still mad at me, angel? it’s been so long.” he leaned even closer into you, using the hand on your ass to pull you against him. his lips were pressed into the skin of your neck, eyes half-shut.

“you used me. i didn’t- i don’t want to talk about this in public, jake. let go of me.” surprisingly, he obliges, though not without a final squeeze to your ass.

you feel like you can breathe again as he moves away to lean against the bar, neck craned to watch your every move. the bartender finally comes back and you try to pay as quickly as possible, collecting the drinks and rushing back to your table of friends.

the rest of the night felt wrong, you felt too warm, and like your clothes were too tight. every few minutes your eyes would flick back to the bar, to see jake still sat, watching you with a small smile on his face. he was playing the waiting game.

not too much more time passed before your friends were calling it a night, filtering off to catch ubers. one friend’s parting message made you roll your eyes:

“make sure you sleep with the guy at the bar. he’s been staring at you this whole time”

you sat and finished your coke alone, watching jake shift in his seat, tapping his foot to the beat of the song. his hair was longer, and his boots were definitely more worn out, but he really hadn’t changed very much. he was still your jake. the jake you loved, even though you hated yourself for it.

you really did miss him. the past year had been hard, but you had actually managed to move on from him. or so you’d convinced your friends, but deep down you knew it was just because you hadn’t seen him. you knew the moment you saw him again, the feelings would come back. and they did- it made your throat feel tight, and seeing how good he still looked sent electricity to your core.

with a deep sigh, you push yourself out of your chair and saunter over to jake at the bar. his legs are spread and facing you, so you press your hands against his knees, gently pushing up to rest mid-thigh. his eyes flick up to meet yours and you cock your head to the left.

“have you missed me, jake?” you breathe, waiting to hear his answer before moving your hands any higher.

“yeah, i’ve missed you. you’re the best fuck i’ve ever had.” he answers quietly.

“that’s good to know.” you slot yourself in between his legs, your face dangerously close to his. he moves to kiss you, but you pull away, a smug smile upon your lips.

“you’re going to have to work harder than that to kiss me, jacob.” you laugh quietly, smiling wider when he scrunches his nose.

“can’t we just skip this and we get to the part where you let me fuck you?” he asks, a quiet desperation in his voice. you pout your lips, pretending to think long and hard.

“hmm, i was thinking we could go back to my place, and you can beg to touch me.” you lean in again, this time allowing him to press a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“i guess…but i hope you know you’ll be the one begging later on, angel.”

“i wouldn’t be so sure about that, sweetheart. cmon, i’ll drive.” you drag him out of the building by his wrist, leaving him at the passenger side of your car before hopping into the driver’s side and starting the ignition.

the drive back to your place was short and quiet; you noted that jake actually seemed…nervous. his hands were fidgeting, and he couldn’t seem to stop adjusting his hair. you smiled softly to yourself, knowing he wasn’t entirely comfortable with you being the one in charge.

you continued this confidence as you got to the house, getting out of the car and walking into the house without stopping for jake, leaving him to scramble after you in the semi-dark.

he caught up to you in your kitchen, placing a hand on your hip and squeezing experimentally, to see if you were going to tell him to let go again. you didn’t, instead turning your body and wrapping yourself around him, moving your lips close against his ear.

“are we going to have some fun, jake?”

his grip on your hips tightens, and he nods rapidly. you press a kiss to the space underneath his ear, opening your mouth and brushing your tongue against the same spot, just to hear his breath catch in his throat.

you tilt his head and press his lips to yours, at first with a delicate touch. he grabs your face with both hands and roughly forces your mouth open with his tongue, you feel your knees go weak and almost forget to breathe. he licks into your mouth, groaning when your hand travels between your bodies to feel him growing hard against your hip. the hands that were holding your cheeks move to tangle with the hair at the back of your head, and gently tug at the roots.

you walk your intertwined bodies backwards until you hit the kitchen counter and quickly hook your foot around the back of his leg, pulling it up and between your thighs. understanding your goal, he presses his thigh against your core and pulls the skirt of your dress higher to grab at the flesh of your ass.

moving your hips against the rough fabric of his jeans, you silently thank yourself for wearing the thinnest pair of underwear you own, the blend of fabrics stimulating your clit perfectly. small gasps leave your mouth as you roll harder against his leg, your hands gripping the sides of his neck and holding his face close to yours. he bounces his knee and you let out a moan, shutting your eyes as he breathes a laugh at your reaction.

“you always were so responsive for me. fuck, it’s so hot when you look like this.” he whispers against your mouth, giving your ass a rough squeeze.

you work yourself against his leg, panting and moaning softly, until you could feel the coil in your stomach begin to tighten faster and faster. you still your body, throwing a hand against his stomach to stop his movements.

“don’t you want to cum, angel?”

“not yet, wanna cum on your face instead.” his eyebrows raise at your words, and his eyes flutter with arousal.

detaching yourself from his body, you walk into the bedroom on shaky legs and begin removing your shoes. unsurprisingly, he stumbles quickly into the room.

“undressing for me, angel? that was quick.”

there was that same old cocky jake. the one who let you fall in love with him, with no intention of doing anything about it. a flash of anger surged through your chest.

“i thought that was for me to do?”

jake walks across the room and meets you, running his hands along the contours of your body. you crease your eyebrows and push him away by his chest- his eyes widen with shock and he scrabbles to reach for your body again.

“what are you doing?”

“you really want to undress me?”

he nods, running his tongue across his bottom lip.

“beg for it.”

“what?”

“you heard me, jake. beg for it.”

jake takes a deep breath, trying once again to reach for you and failing. he rolls his eyes and balls his fists, scrunching his nose.

“please, please let me touch you.”

“more.”

he drops to his knees beneath you, looking up. he looked so pretty like this, eyes shining with desperation, lips parted with a bead of sweat rolling down his exposed chest.

“y/n, please let me touch you, i can do such a good job for you, i can make you feel so good.” his voice was laced with lust, words falling out of his mouth rapidly without any inhibitions.

you almost felt pity. watching him move his hand to slowly palm himself through his jeans was the sexiest thing you had ever seen, the power of making him beg getting to your head.

“please.”

his eyebrows knotted together, eyes never leaving your face as he unzips his trousers, hand delving into his boxers to better relieve the pressure.

“you can’t even wait for me? guess you really are desperate.”

“y/n please stop this, i need to touch you.”

you reach to undo your dress, letting it fall to the floor. you were left in only your panties, and with the way his eyes scanned over your body, you knew he had missed this sight.

you move to sit on the bed, watching as he slowly stripped himself of his clothes. god, you had missed this. his body was still gorgeous, still tanned and soft; you wanted to reach out and touch every square inch of him.

patting the space next to your head, you invite him to lie next to you. you make your way to your knees, slowly pull your panties down and toss them across the room, holding eye contact with him and smirking. you throw a leg over his body and land with your soaked core against his hard dick, groaning at the sensation, still sensitive from your self-delayed orgasm. a wide smile breaks your lips as he gasps loudly and presses his head into the pillow below him, loving how much you affected him.

jake loses patience, rubbing his hands over your hot skin and pulling you down to lick at your throat and mark you with fervour. he roughly sits you back in his lap, sinking into you with a low moan from within his chest. you gasp at the new sensation and dig your nails into his exposed skin, letting your mouth hang open.

letting him fuck into you, the sensation of everything happening overtakes your body- toes curling, chest heaving, electricity surging through your stomach as his fingers traveled to circle your clit. you move your hips in tandem with his thrusts, an elongated “fuck” leaving his lips.

“y’know, jake, we didn’t end on good terms.”

you speak through your uneven breaths, teeth gritted as you try not to lose composure. jake’s eyes screw shut, hands fisting the covers as your hips gain speed.

“and who’s fault was that, angel?”

you halt your movements, and dig your nails even harder into his chest.

“what did you just say?”

“well, if you hadn’t gone all crazy we could’ve kept doing this thing and still see each other.”

you roll your eyes and groan, your head falling backwards. why did you think he would be any different?

“just. just shut up, jake. after this we don’t need to see each other again.”

“why won’t you admit you missed me? missed this?” his voice was laced with frustration, fingers digging into your hips to punctuate his point.

“i loved you. and you never loved me back” you whispered. you spoke so softly you weren’t even sure he heard you.

“i never said i didn’t love you too.” he watches you carefully, waiting for your reaction. you refuse to let him see how his words affect you, so choose instead to climb off him, moving your body until you were hovering above his face.

“i told you to shut up.”

you push your core to his mouth, sighing when you feel his tongue begin to work against your sensitive skin. tangling your hands in his hair, you steady yourself and throw your head back. jake’s hands grasp your ass, pulling you harder against his face.

you find yourself nearing your peak, hips shuddering as his tongue flicks your clit, your hands pulling on his hair harder and harder with each gasp leaving your lips. he hums and the vibrations stimulate you even further- suddenly you’re tipping over the edge, moaning and shaking. while you come down from your high, jake presses gentle kisses against your inner thighs and smiles softly as you stroke his hair out of his face, cooing against your hand.

without much warning, jake pulls you off of his face and flips you onto your back. you grab his face and pull him into a feverish kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue. he quickly slips into you again, setting his own rapid pace and pressing you harder into the mattress with his own weight.

his face was scrunched up, shiny with your cum, but still so pretty. he was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. you couldn’t stop the tears welling in your eyes as you watch him, both from the overstimulation and the pure heartbreak of knowing he could never truly be yours. despite this, you knew you would always be his.

jake presses his face into the crook of your neck, breathing hot air over your ear. you wrap your arms and legs around him, locking him in an embrace more intimate than you had ever experienced, hot and sweaty, full of passion. he was mumbling into your skin, words interlaced with gasps.

“tell me you love me” he whispered, his voice whiny from his impending orgasm. the tears you had refused to let fall flowed down the sides of your cheeks, you tighten your grip around his neck and press your lips to the side of his face.

“i love you more than you will ever understand, jake. i’m yours forever.”

and with that, he came; groaning deep from within his chest, blunt nails digging into your skin, sweat rolling down his forehead. he went stiff for a moment, struggling to breathe. you stroke his hair and kiss his salty skin, comforting him through his high.

when the time came for you to part, your heart ached. he kissed you softly and stood in the doorway, face still flushed and soft. his hands were caressing your cheeks, thumb rubbing against your bottom lip.

“i guess this is goodbye forever.” you whisper.

“angel…you know i’m not good for you. this shouldn’t have happened.”

“i know, it’s just-it’s hard to say goodbye to a piece of your heart.”

jake’s fingertips press a little harder into your cheeks, and his face falters for only a moment. he moves his thumb and eventually presses his lips to yours once more, whispering against them.

“i’m yours.”

#greta van fleet #jake kiszka #fanfiction #jake kiszka x reader #angsty

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babyboibucky · 3 years

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Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious. Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

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ayyezhongli · 3 years

Text

dom student council pres zhongli x troublemaker childe

Guess who’s back :D Back with some zhonchi smut for all u sinners. Note: Theres a lot of spelling errors bc when i wrote this i was telling it to a friend n they said i should post this n i’m too lazy to edit it so yeah! enjoy <3

summary kinda: child did something n is now stuck in detention with zhongli being a kinky president of the student council watching him.

so childe is bored asf n tries seducing zhongli. but childe has always had a crush on zhongli. thats why he misbehaves to get his attention.

so zhongli says “ur here again” n sighs

“yup did you miss me?! dont answer that bc ik you did”

n zhongli sighs again all annoyed n shit

“seems you never learn”

“maybe i’m jus here bc i love n want to see you everyday”

n zhongli taking that as sarcasm rolls his eyes

“i doubt that.”

and so for like 30mins childe is making all these noises to get zhongli’s attention and annoy him which it works. and zhongli having enough of it already decides that he needs to be punished. so he gets up n walks over to the desk childe is sitting at cups his face with his hand grinning

“u rly like to get on my nerves dont you~…..” and childe’s tryna contain himself

“is it working~?”

“idk pretty boy….wanna find out for urself~…..”

n zhongli is like inches away from childe’s face. n childe still keeping his composure decides to tease back hoping to get what he’s longed for for so long.

“idk do i~?….”

and zhongli leans in n jus as hes abt to kiss childe he pulls away and walks back over to the teachers desk and childe is really disappointed bc he thought he finally had it but jus lost it. so zhongli goes back to working on his paperwork while childe is just furious.

”Is this how u treat everyone?! tease them and leave them with nothing. take advantage of us!!”

n zhongli bursts out laughing putting his papers in a neat stack

”ur quite interesting childe, if i said it was jus u would that make u feel better??”

and childe huffs rolling his eyes still rly pissed off.

“did u want more? were you expecting something more from me? something else?”

n childe blushing looks away

“fuck off”

n zhongli gets mad at the response and pulls out one of those long ass rulers n gets up n starts walking to childe.

“thats no way to speak to the student council president. you need to be punished”

so zhongli sets the ruler aside still pissed asf

“get up.” childe ignores.

”get up right now.” childe still ignores.

so zhongli grabs the ruler smacking it against the desk childe is at.

“GET UP RIGHT NOW!”

n childe jumps a little and gets up

“ok ok chill”

so childe walks over to zhongli n stands in front of him.

“im gonna punish n force you into submission until u completely submit to me”

childe laughs

“no way. you really think u can do that? just try”

“oh i will. just watch me”

(a/n: in this fic childe has bright pink sensitive nipples bc ughh 😩🤌🏾 well both of them have bright pink nipples but zhonglis r rly sensitive.)

so zhongli turns childe around n starts grinding against him causing childe to moan ever so slightly.

“do u like that~?”

n childe tryna keep his composure laughs to cover up a moan. n zhongli looks down and grins seeing childe’s hard erection through his clothes.

so zhongli reaches down n starts palming childe causing slightly louder moans to come out of his mouth.

“your so hard for me childe….what a naughty slutty little boy~“

childe loses it bc zhongli is finally saying the things he’s been dreaming of him saying. so zhongli amused starts licking the shell of his ear biting and nibbling it which makes childe blush harder. so zhongli reaches his hand down into childe’s pants and boxers and wraps his hand around childe’s dick which he almost cums. so zhongli starts pumping him n not even 30s he throws his head back on zhonglis shoulder n cums letting out a loud moan

“fuck zhongli~…..”

zhongli smirks very amused

“so quick to cum~ do i rly turn u on that much~?”

n childe fights the urge to nod his head and submit. he’s not going down without a fight.

“no i was just pent up. why would i be for someone like you!!”

zhongli snickers and slides his hands up childes shirt n starts taking it off.

“not submitting yet i see~….”

“did u think it would be that easy asshole? ha!”

so zhongli turns childe around.

“you should just give up now! your not go-“

n zhongli interrupts him with a passionate kiss. a long deep one filled with sexual tension n desire. he leaves childe blushing like crazy and gasping for air.

“what was that? i didnt catch the last part, say that again.”

“i said that i’m never gonna sub-“

n zhongli interrupts him again. same thing happens like 2 more times until childe gives up.

“can u repeat that one more time?”

and childe looks away with a annoyed expression on his face

“glad that shut u up~”

so then zhongli looks childe up and down bites his lip causing childe to blush.

“you’re kinda cute…i think i can use u….”

n childe blushes more

“and these nipples….”

zhongli says while pinching them making childe arch his back and moan loudly.

“they look pink and innocent…but when i pinch n twist them like this…”

childe lets out n even louder moan with a face flushed even more n drool running down the side of his mouth

“….you make such naughty noises and that really turns me on.”

and so zhongli continues pinch n play with them and then starts marking his neck.

“what if i made u mine hmm? my little fuck toy? or how abt pet?? you could be of some use to me….”

and all childe can do is whimper. so zhongli has him bend over on the teachers desk and pulls down childe’s pants. and he like squeezes childes plump round ass and caresses it before grabbing the ruler and spanking him with it which causes childe to moan n cum immediately.

“ur such a slutty masochist”

n childe groans n is like stuttering his words

“w-w-well ur so fucking sadis-“

n zhongli spanks him not with the ruler this time but his hand n childe jus looses it.

“ready to submit….?”

n childe tryna keep the ounce of pride he has left shakes his head.

“no!”

zhongli spanks him again.

“how abt now?”

“No!”

n so zhongli gets an idea n sticks his fingers inside childe’s mouth.

“suck”

childe does so n a minute later zhongli pulls them out.

“what are you gonna d- ahh!”

and zhongli’s fingers are wiggling around inside childe tryna get him prepared. childe has just completely lost it. he’s drooling all over the desk, moaning so loudly that if there was people here they would be able to hear, clinging onto the edge of the desk like his life is on the line.

“f-fuck zhongli…ahhh”

he’s a panting slutty mess. a fee mins later zhongli pulls his fingers out n takes off his own pants and boxers lining himself up to childes entrance. he inserts only the tip of his dick causing childe to go even more crazy if thats even possible n moan so fucking loud. but its been long enough. he wants more. more of zhongli inside him. he wants all. all of zhongli inside him. so he whimpers n cries out zhongli’s name.

“whats the problem sweetheart?”

zhongli says grinning from ear to ear.

“pls..”

childe says desperately

“pls what?”

”pls zhongli i-….”

“you…? gotta tell me what u want otherwise i wont know.”

“pls i want more of u….!!”

“beg for more than.”

“Zhongli pls i want ur cock inside me so bad. pls i’ll do anything!! just fuck me already!!”

“anything…?”

zhongli says slipping half way inside him.

“y-y-yes just pls fuck me!!”

n zhongli, a very satisfied man jus starts pounding into him hitting his g spot every time.

“Fuck! fuck! fuck! FUCK! ZHONGLI PLS SLOW DOWN AHH~!!”

n that only makes zhongli speed up and childe cums like multiple times. after a while, giving a few last thrusts zhongli comes for the second time inside childe. and pulls out while childe just drops to the floor completely unable to move or anything. jus a panting blushing hot slutty mess with zhongli’s cum dripping out of him. all pride lost. pulling his pants and boxers back on zhongli lifts him up to his feet and bc childe has no strength he just falls onto zhongli resting his head on his shoulder.

“now that you’ve completely submit to me, ur all mine~….mine to do whatever i pls with. mine and only mine. No one else….”

and childe jus nods groaning bc of the pain.

”i hope u learned ur lesson now. unless…. you wanna comeback again for another visit…”

n childe jus groans again.

“i see the way you look at me childe….a look filled with lust and desire…its really quite a turn on~….. you look so desperately….so needy….so vulnerable…the amount of times i wanted to bend you over and fuck u so hard until you cant walk is too much to count. i wanted to make you mine so no one else could have that innocent slutty little boy who’s just oozing with sexual desire. any man or woman would get turned on n wanna have there way with you. u needed to be protected and only by me.”

so zhongli grinds his teeth bc of how possessive he is.

“so no one but me can fuck u stupid. and now that ur finally mine…i dont have to worry abt it so much as before”

n so zhongli strokes childe’s hair n plants a kiss on his head.

“you’re my precious little play thing.”

and childe, burying his face into zhongli’s chest smiles bc thats all he ever wanted. and then he looks up at zhongli as zhongli looks down at him smiling.

“zhongli…?”

”yes?”

“if all u said was true….why were u such an asshole to me. you were stricter on me than others, ruder to me than others, tougher on me then others….so why?”

“why?”

zhongli chuckles n childe nods

“to keep a good reputation, but i also wanted to push you, everytime u got angry and gave me attitude it only turned me on. which is why i kept going….does that answer ur question?”

n childe grunts

“u sadistic fuck!”

n zhongli laughs

“says the one who got turned on every time i public humiliated or yelled at you….”

“thats not true!!”

“uh-huh…the sexual energy u admit would become stronger and i could hear your breathing getting heavier with breathy tiny moans and u would always part ur lips slightly and rub ur thighs together and on top of that, ur eyes squint ever so slightly.”

childe was speechless bc this whole time he thought he was being slick.

“w-w-well that doesnt matter!”

childe said huffing and zhongli only chuckled and kissed his head.

“hey childe…”

“what!”

“i love you….”

childe was blushing like crazy. never in a million years did he think zhongli would say that.

“you can’t just go randomly saying those things?!!”

childe said burying his face deeper into zhonglis chest.

“b-but i love you too i guess…”

he mumbled and zhongli smirked.

“look at me.”

childe looked up into zhonglis ambers eyes embarrassed asf.

“wh-wh-what is it?”

“you’re really cute yk.”

n zhongli leaned down slightly and kissed him before he could say anything else. the end :)

thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed even though its formatted weird and kinda sorta a story. 🥰

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jackrrabbit · 3 years

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cooking at 3am /// Osamu x f!Reader

Request: Imagine cooking together with Osamu at 3am because neither of you could sleep (or because ‘Samu got the midnight munchies lol). You don’t have anything specific in mind; you’re just playing around and feeding each other little bits of what you make.

A/N: bruh you said munchies and my mind said [[ h i g h o s a m u ]] sorry this went in a kinda different direction? but still fun 3am cooking project vibes :P

Tag/warnings: fluff, light drug use (weed), you and Atsumu are lowkey Bros™️, Osamu's kinda baby 🤧

Osamu’s not good at smoking.

He doesn’t really know how to inhale—you know, hold it in his lungs so it can soak in or whatever—and when he does, he coughs. Except he tries to repress the coughs. Even if he wants to hide it, he’s always close enough to you that you can feel his chest moving from trying not to cough when he takes a hit.

And also, like every baby smoker, he can’t really tell when it’s kicking in until he’s off the deep end.

“Can you feel it yet?”

“No.”

You shoot Osamu a glance where he’s sitting on the ground in front of the couch, watching a nature documentary on Atsumu’s TV with a glazed-over look on his face. “You sure? Your eyes are super red.”

“I can’t feel it. Give it—“ He holds out his hand and honestly you’re pretty sure he’s had plenty, but it’s Atsumu’s vape so who cares. You hand it over and Osamu holds it up to his mouth and sucks, eyes fluttering closed as the light on the side of the Pax glows yellow.

God, he looks hot when he does that. Something about a hot guy smoking, yeah? Actually, no. Something about your hot boyfriend smoking.

Except 'Samu holds his breath a second too long and you can see the urge to cough hit him… Wait for it, you think to yourself, and a second later he hacks and wheezes the vapor out in a wispy cloud that reflects silver against the semi-dark. You coo in sympathy and pat his back. “Want some water?”

Osamu shakes his head, hand over his mouth to stop the coughing. On the tv, David Attenborough talks about penguin courtship rituals and Atsumu (who’s been draped on the couch next to you for the past few hours) gives a light little sigh in his sleep. You check the time. 3am. Bedtime. Too bad you and 'Samu are both too high to drive home…whoops. Guess you’re spending the night at Atsumu’s place.

Osamu rubs his bloodshot eyes like they’re itchy, which they probably are. “Hey, can we— uhh… Do we have pancakes.”

“Pancakes, babe? You mean the ones you made for breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s leftovers…I made you extra and you didn’t want them.” He twists around and gives you an incredibly dirty look, like this is something you did on purpose to hurt his feelings. “If you don’t want them I’m going to eat them.”

“Wait, 'Samu—“ But Osamu's already getting up off the floor to wander over to the next room. You debate pausing the show—it’s a really good scene—but you leave it going for Atsumu's sake because you’re pretty sure the narration is the only thing keeping him asleep. He’s kinda drooling on your shoulder and you have to push him off to go follow your boyfriend to the kitchen.

“What is all this stuff? Ugh…” Osamu's pawing through the fridge. There’s a lot of crinkling, plastic sounds—you catch a glimpse inside and all of the shelves are stacked up with plastic bags and styrofoam containers.

You yawn and hop up to sit on the kitchen island. “Takeout? I don’t think he cooks.” Atsumu's going to get a lecture tomorrow for keeping 2-week-old Indian food in his fridge. God knows you heard it way too many times before you and Osamu moved in together. You don’t envy 'Tsumu.

Osamu sits down in front of the fridge, fumbles with a drawer, and pulls out a bag of moldy grapes. “Gross…who lives like this…”

You snicker into your hand.

“I can’t find the pancakes.” 'Samu's pulling the plastic drawers all the way out now, setting them down on the floor as he inspects the contents of the fridge.

“They’re not here.”

“You ate them?”

“No, I— Hey, put those back in,” you tell him helplessly as he shuts the door of the fridge, ignoring all the leftover food he took out. Yeah, half of it was probably off anyway, but Atsumu's gonna be pissed if he wakes up and there’s takeout going bad all over his kitchen floor.

“You threw away my pancakes?” Now the look on Osamu's face is utter betrayal. He stands up off the floor and glares sulkily at you. “I made those for you…”

“I didn’t throw them away, they’re—“ You hold back a laugh and wish you had your phone on you (where did it go?) so you could take a picture. He’s so cute when he smokes. “—they’re at home.”

“At home?”

“Yep, at home. The place where you and me live, remember?”

“Oh.” Osamu pauses, reaches out absently to grab the edge of your sleeve. You’re wearing one of his hoodies. “We’re not at home?”

“Nope. We’re at Atsumu's place,” you tell him through a giggle.

He plays with your sleeve, contemplating. “Why?”

“Because we’re out of weed and he said he’d smoke us out. And we like hanging out with him.”

“Oh. We do?”

“Yes.”

“…’Kay.” It takes Osamu a second to accept this, but then he nods seriously. “(Y/N), I'm hungry.”

“I know. What do you want to eat? You could probably have any of that stuff, I don’t think he’ll miss it.”

'Samu thinks about it for a moment, scanning the array of takeout containers spread out across the kitchen floor. “I want pancakes.”

“The pancakes are at home, remember?”

“Yeah…” Osamu flips over his grip on your sleeve and traces his thumb down the lines in your palm. “I could make some?”

More pancakes? “I don’t think 'Tsumu has eggs, babe. Or flour. Or…baking soda?” You’re not really sure what ingredients go into pancakes. Whatever cooking skills you possessed pre-Osamu have deteriorated significantly since you moved in together and he took over any and all food preparation for your household.

He pouts at this, and his hair is a little messed up, and he’s so pretty that you can’t stand how much you like him in that second. Mine mine mine, something in the back of your brain says. He’s mine.

You reach up and Osamu obediently ducks his head down so you can smooth his hair back into place and fix the bits that are flipping over his part. “Is there anything else you want to eat?”

“Onigiri.”

“Oh…” Well, at least Atsumu probably has rice. “Sure. Ok. That’s your specialty.”

“I want ya to make it for me.”

“What?” You frown and pull your hand out of his. “You know my cooking sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. (Y/N)’s food’s the best.”

“You own an onigiri shop, come on—“

“Please?”

One of his bangs falls back in his eyes and without thinking you reach up to put it in place. “Okay, fine. But you can’t complain about it if it’s not good.”

He smiles and you want to blush. “Yes! I promise.”

So you do it for him. Even though you’re high too. You measure some rice and water into the rice cooker (Osamu has to give you pointers on how much of each to put in) and you scrounge around Atsumu's depressingly bare kitchen for a few sheets of seaweed and some easy fillings. Osamu pulls a stool up to the island counter and rests his chin on his hands so he can watch you with a bleary look of adoration on his face.

It takes you…maybe half an hour to be done? It’s hard to gauge time when you’re high. You and 'Samu both jump when the rice cooker finishes and plays the little rice cooker song, which will remain stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. 'Samu hums it in a loop while you shape the rice into lopsided triangles and wrap the nori around it.

“Here,” you tell him when you set the plate down in front of him. He looks entirely too happy to be eating your mediocre food for someone who literally does this for a living, but who cares.

He picks one, takes a bite, swallows. And blinks.

“What do you think?” you ask in spite of yourself.

“Umm…salty,” Osamu says.

You grab one to try yourself and it’s salty. Like, ocean salty. Yuck. “I told you it would be bad,” you complain, trying to tug the plate away but Osamu grabs it and pulls it back.

“Noooo…it’s good,” he lies, although his face is giving him away. Still, he takes another bite and chews enthusiastically.

“Shut up.” You tug a little harder but Osamu doesn’t let go.

He swallows, pulls a face, and takes another one. “So good. I love it.”

“Shut up. You sound so fake. You’re going to get sick if you eat that.” You keep pulling, but he insists on pretending it’s edible so you admit defeat and help him finish the onigiri off. God, they’re awful. But he keeps eating and so you do too.

When you’re done, your mouth feels dry as fuck and you want to sleep almost as much as you want to drink about a gallon of water. “Is it bedtime yet?” 'Samu asks, wiping his mouth and then rubbing his eyes again.

The clock over the oven says it’s past 4. “Yes. It’s bedtime.”

“Wait—we’re…we’re not at home, right? We’re at 'Tsumu's?”

“Mhm.”

“I prolly drove here…I dunno if I can drive now,” Osamu tells you slowly, like he’s apologizing. “I think I'm kinda high.”

“Oh yeah?” You hold your laugh back and put your hands up on his cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Blurry? Like…you’re in slow-motion.” His hands come up to layer over yours. “You’re pretty in slow-mo.”

“Prettier than usual?”

Osamu closes his eyes, scrunching them up to think and then looking over your face intently. “Same amount, just slower. So it’s easier to see.”

“That so?” You slip your hands around to drape over his shoulders and get up on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss on the cheek, because he’s earned it. “You know what, I think I'm kinda high too. I think we’re going to have to have a sleepover.”

“On the couch? S’not big enough for us both.”

“You can sleep with 'Tsumu in his bed…or I guess you could sleep on the ground?”

'Samu's mouth twists and his brows draw together. You can practically hear the gears in his mind turning while he considers alternatives. “Can we share the bed?”

“I think Atsumu's gonna want it. It’s his house.”

“But he’s already sleeping.”

True, you can hear Atsumu snoring lightly from the living room underneath David Attenborough’s description of endangered falcons in the Philippine rainforest. You should really wake him up—matter of fact, you should really clean up the kitchen because it’s a huge mess—but 'Samu's already pulling you away. And you’re so sleepy.

“He’s going to be pissed tomorrow,” you tell Osamu through a yawn, but you let him steer you in the direction of Atsumu's bedroom, holding your hand.

“Don’t care…I hate sleeping without you.”

“Yeah,” you say, and you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you like you’re the literal best thing in the entire universe—and you decide you should get him high more often. “Same.”

#osamu miya x reader #osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu #hq #hq x reader #hq imagines #hq fluff #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! fluff #osamu #osamu miya

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yostresswritinggirl · 3 years

Note

hi! ik sojourner's already ended but i have an(other?) idea in case u ever pick it up since i love ur albedo 😳😳 ok so

what abt a reader who is rlly excited abt alchemy, but they avoid talking abt it bc they start rambling and stuttering and stumbling over their words bc they're so excited? they get assigned/asked to go w/ albedo bc they're rlly good at alchemy too, but they end up fidgeting a lot, muttering and stopping just a few words in before their volume rises and giving short answers when w/ him bc they're afraid of rambling (since they do it to think better when alone, sometimes insulting and arguing w the objects when they don't get the expected result) & being seen as annoying or unprofessional?? i'd like to see how he reacts to these and what he'd think!! and how or when he discovers the reason reader is acting like that

it's kinda (a lot, rlly skowkskdk i always have ideas but never write them) specific, but i rlly like the idea!! i'd love to see what u do w/ it if u ever pick it up in the future :D hope you're staying hydrated and well🥺🥰 -🌌

What do you mean Sojourner's already ended, Sojourner is eternal, Sojourner is forever-

Kidding aside, this is too cute to pass up, even if it's quite a lot! Cute Albedo brainrot moments always please. It might be too much sometimes but I hope you enjoy my interpretation of it! Scenarios format! Starry night, oh I'm always hydrated, thank you and I hope you're well!

For the Record

Albedo working with a Reader that's highly enthusiastic about alchemy but insecure about rambling... (masterlist)

You dealt with Alchemy a year before the Kreideprinz entered Mondstadt, your attunement to the mystic arts baffling and intriguing you every time. During that period, you're not really sure of what art you're doing but in the end, you kept doing great that the people had acknowledged your talents.

Through your own effort and self-study even if unnamed, you managed to put your talent into this art of Alchemy and created discoveries regarding powders and mineral-focused ingredients. It was a shame there was no one to share it to, and when you talk to scholars/practitioners alike, you end up rambling so much to the point that on their end you barely make sense. Whether this was caused by your eaten words or lax and personalized vocabulary over the matter, you're not sure.

Their confused and judgmental stare haunts you, leaving you alone with your raging thoughts and overworking mind when you just want to learn and expand your discoveries to other people without driving them away. Your enthusiasm is great and all, but it's not enough to make others understand.

So when the Chalk Prince entered Mondstadt, blessing the city with his scholarly knowledge and boundless creations, he easily made a name for himself and in extension the city itself.

Before Sucrose and Timaeus, you were called upon by the Grand Master Varka to accompany Albedo and be his temporary assistant seeing as his field in the division is still quite new and you were the only other 'Alchemist' in town besides him. You're both giddy and nervous, like really, really nervous.

You've heard of Albedo and maybe a caught a glimpse or two, but you've never actually interacted enough to know exactly what he looks like or how he is as a person. All you know is that he's a very, very attractive person overall.

"Good-looking, carries this aura of wisdom around him, he's just really charming," were the words that rang through your mind as you pointedly watched your steps, following the carpets leading to Ordo Favonius' laboratory while Lisa's words rang through your head.

Is he really that kind of person? You've heard that he's quite stoic too, but if he's really that distracting, you're scared that it would be harder for you to focus and help out. Honestly how would you even deal with him when your fields of Alchemy are so different from each other?

You have no idea how long you've been thinking, standing in contemplation in front of the set of double doors that leads to the workshop with nothing but doubt in your mind. But upon realizing the teal gaze of another person silently waiting instead of wooden doors, you figured it was far too long.

"Ah, I'm sorry! I was in my head, I wasn't expecting you to-!" You flailed your hands around comically before abruptly stopping, noticing the now confused stare of Albedo of which are distracted by your hands. Clearing your throat, you extended a hand towards him to shake, trying to stare anywhere but his face. "I'm (Y/N), I'll be your assistant until you're well settled in the city. It's nice to meet you, Ma-"

His hand finds yours in a firm grip, a firm shake so sudden you bit your tongue back, "Albedo, Kreideprinz of the Art of Kemia, but just Albedo is fine, I'll be under your care."

Albedo finds it intriguing and surprisingly not that distracting whenever you talk to yourself or to the ingredients whenever you so much as feel the slightest frustration. "Ugh, this Zinc powder is so stubborn, clingy," you angrily mumbled under your breath as you washed off the blue powder that spilled at your hand, "So, so clingy." Since you're facing the sink, you couldn't see the way he was holding himself from laughing audibly at your amusing antics.

You seemed lively and open, is what Albedo thought when he first met you. But this observation soon shattered when he kept getting hanged upon your abrupt stops when delving into your field, something he was really irked about the first few times. Your art of Alchemy is much different from his and he's wishing that you'd clarify and expound all your learnings to him, but in the end, you somehow step back everytime your words became lengthy.

Are you hiding something? Did you not want him to learn the same arts as yours? If those were the case, he couldn't bring himself to ask a simple question such ad why. Every time it crosses his mind, it brings a purse of a pout to his lips and furrowed eyebrows.

Every response you gave always hints even tiny bits of trivias and tips he's never heard, Albedo always takes note of your spills that always cuts before reaching its climax. "-sorry, yes, this is activated charcoal Geo and Pyro slimes reaction." He lets out an audible sigh upon your retreat, your frustrated mind too occupied to notice.

"Please," his desperation drips in his word when he looks at you with eyes filled with raw emotion you'd never know he'd be able to pull off. Your tightly locked lips only pressed on further at his puppy eyes, "Please continue, I wish to know more about your Alchemy, if you would be so kind."

"It's not really- I'm not really the best at explaining it..." You're almost fidgeting, cheeks aching from tensing and warmth. But he regarded you with a blank stare, forcing you to fill the silence, "If I- If I start, my ramblings may not uhm they're not easy to comprehend... or something."

Albedo had been watching more than he'd like to admit, and he's come to relieved (yet still confused) realization that your treatment with him wasn't his alone. You always step back before things get lengthy, words then cutting short and concise with a steeled expression. Lips caught between teeth.

"I digress," his hand motions to yourself to emphasize his next clause. "As your field and sole practitioner of this art, like my own condition, your word of mouth is the best ground of knowledge."

If he was irritated, he's doing a very good job in hiding it. And even with the respectable yet close distance in between you still felt cornered. This is still your master and it's not professional to refuse a scholarly talk, "The electro crystals when charged... ionized? create sparks, while also producing the same result when smacking- mining!"

The scribbles of his pen against his clipboard as he nods in attention urges you on, realizing his focus and sincere interest on the topic, "So when you put the little tidbits or even powdered version in a beaker thingy, depending on the material, they interact with the spark. Honestly, I'm unsure yet how lethal it is but if you put the sparks under fire too, they make like those makeshift gunpowder as well as additional reactions such as-!"

The lilt and proceeding high pitch in your voice usually signifies the approach of your insecurity as well as the climax of your enthusiasm. At this point, you pull your hand up to shut your mouth forcefully, and when Albedo really detests the abrupt end of the conversation his hand would shoot forward to grasp your own.

He'd intertwine your fingers to distract, before urging you to continue with a challenging stare, as if daring you to use your other hand to pull that off again. This whole scene felt oddly scandalous, but oh boy does it send your mind into a bambling, overloaded mess. A heated head forces your lips open even if they sometimes come out in a jumbled string, he learns to decipher them.

The more you get used to or feel more comfortable, Albedo uses that fondness skillfully whenever he wants. "Can you tell me more about the scarlet chunks from Dragonspine?" He throws it so casually in the silence as you two work back to back in your stations, without a beat as your mind is partially preoccupied, you answered into a narrative of trivia. It almost feels like you're talking to the flames of the bunsen while you wait, but Albedo smiles at the now filled silence as he listens with divided attention.

He really likes your voice, and the word of wonders you bring along with you.

"For the record, I don't mind it at all," his breath hovers on your lips, cold and prickly, "Whatever comes out of these lips, I want to hear it all."

That last part eheh

Woah, this went long. Like reader babbling hahaha. I said I'm gonna speedrun, not freaking write this long smh

@zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop @tartuu @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @albaedhoe @xiaophilia @heisenwurst @childe-simp-exe

#genshin impact x reader #Albedo x Reader #exile.goblet #exile.flower #sojourner special #genshin impact #imagines #gender neutral #fluff #anon 🌌

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etherrreal · 3 years

Text

“resentment”

Pairing: oikawa x fem!reader Genre: angst Summary: you used to love oikawa’s determination, his drive, his willingness to give his all and sacrifice everything to get the things he wants. now those are the same things that make you resent him. WC: 6,700 Warnings: lots of angst, explicit language, reader’s kinda petty but so is oikawa, relationship isn’t toxic or anything but it could def be better A/N: shoutout to @shadowkunoichi for this request! your ask gave me enough serotonin to last for the rest of the week <3 it’s also important to note that the moment i saw oikawa’s smug ass face on screen my brain and heart immediately went “this the one” so here’s some pain ft. my favorite setter -Dawn

The first few times Oikawa cancels your dates for extended volleyball practice, you tell yourself it doesn’t bother you. You’re disappointed, of course –you barely see him enough as it is, despite living together for three months, despite dating for a total of eight– but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just another compromise you have to make, and it probably won’t be the last.

That’s what relationships are about, anyway, you remind yourself firmly, whenever the silence of your too-big for one person apartment starts to get to you. Compromise.

You’re no stranger to compromise, either. You can’t be, not when you’re dating a pro-athlete. You know better than anyone how talented Oikawa is, how admired. He’s worked so hard, and you’re so proud of him. You may not know much about sports, but you do know that your boyfriend has an amazing career ahead of him.

And while the selfish part of you would like to keep him all to yourself, you also know it won’t always be possible, and you tell yourself you’re okay with that. You love Oikawa, and you support every single one of his dreams, even if doing so means you have to eat dinner on your own sometimes.

It won’t always be this way, you tell yourself. It’s just for now. And it definitely doesn’t mean he loves you any less.

That’s what you tell yourself.

It helps that he’s always sorry about it. You hear it in his voice whenever he calls you to tell you he won’t be home until late, see it in the guilty way his eyes search for yours through the screen when he FaceTimes you to let you know you shouldn’t wait up for him. He’s even more torn up about it than you are most of the time, blowing your phone up with apologetic voice notes and text messages with too many emojis.

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: babe 😔😔

[you]:: yes baby?

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 😔😔😔😔

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 😩😩😭😭

[you]:: oh boy

[you]:: you’re not gonna be home in time for dinner, are you?

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i don’t think so 😩😔 we have that game coming up so we’ll be practicing all night

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i’m so sorry baby ☹️☹️ but i’ll have to miss dinner again 😭😭

[you]:: it’s fine, i’ll just find someone else to share my chicken with

[you]:: speaking of, u have ushiwaka’s #? i wanna see something

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: STOPPPP 😭😭 i’m sorry!!!

[you]:: allegedly

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: stop 😭😭 i mean it!! i love you pls don’t hate me 😩☹️

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i’m really sorry babe ☹️☹️

[you]:: if ur apology doesn’t include dollar signs then i don’t wanna hear it

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: check ur email

[you]:: ??

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: 👀😇

You check your email, and sure enough, there’s a gift card there to your favorite clothing store, along with a note that reads “financial compensation for putting up with me <3 also if u ever share chicken with ushiwaka i’ll cry and then die so pls don’t.” It makes you laugh so hard you forget about being upset with him in the first place.

[you]:: i was joking!! u didn’t actually have to send me anything u weirdo

[pretty (annoying) boy 💙 ]:: i know 😇😏😘

And when he does make it home that night with an apology on his lips, a bouquet of flowers, and a promise that he’ll make it up to you, it’s hard to do anything else besides forgive him. Because you know that no matter how crazy both of your schedules are, no matter how lonely you might feel without him at your side, he loves you more than anything, and you love him as much in return. And for a while, that’s enough.

Until it isn’t.

You’re thankful to have successfully made it through your first year of grad school with just a caffeine addiction and minor bags under your eyes, but not having to attend your classes or meet with your professors over the break means you’re at the apartment a lot more. You still have your job, but it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore Oikawa’s absence.

It’s not just dates he’s missing anymore. It’s family events, outings with your friends, getaway trips the two of you planned weeks in advance.

You know it’s not his fault. He has things he wants to accomplish, goals he set for himself long before he met you. The Olympics are coming up, and he needs to be ready. You can’t blame him for staying late to get in some extra practice, or for having to attend events with his teammates and his fans instead of you.

You can’t blame him for any of it, at least not without feeling selfish and unsupportive, and somehow that just makes it worse.

It takes you longer than you’d like to admit to build up the courage to talk to him about it. You almost don’t want to bring it up at all, but after weeks of missed dates and apology bouquets, of waking up without him and going to sleep before he gets home, you crumble. You don’t think you can keep grinning and bearing it anymore, not without starting to resent him.

You confront him while he’s sitting at the kitchen island in the middle of your shared apartment. It’s rare he doesn’t have a game on the weekend, even rarer he gets to spend the afternoon with you. It almost makes you reconsider –will this ruin your time together?– but you hold fast. You know that if you don’t bring it up now, then you probably never will, and you’re not sure you can take that much more silent heartache.

Oikawa, for his part, does well to listen as you speak. He watches you intently, pretty brown eyes soft and searching, as you tell him about how neglected you’re feeling, how lonely.

You know he’s not doing it on purpose. You know he’s meant every single one of his apologies, and that this is what you signed up for when you agreed to be in a relationship with him. And you love how driven he is, how determined he is to succeed.

You just...you miss him. That’s what it boils down to in the end: how much you miss him. You miss him now more than that time he left to spend a month back home in Japan while you stayed in Argentina, despite the fact that you’re in the same country this time, despite the fact that you share the same apartment. It shouldn’t be possible, but it’s true.

“I know your career is important, and I would never try to get in the way of that,” you tell him, quietly, tiredly. There’s an exhausted air around you he’s never seen before, the kind of whispered sadness that breaks his heart. “But sometimes, Tooru...sometimes it feels like I’m dating a ghost. And I’m not mad at you, or angry, I’m just...lonely.”

You finally look at him, and the emotion in his eyes startles you. He’s actually tearing up –“you’re such a crybaby,” you like to tease him when his eyes water during sad movies, but you always comfort him anyway– and it’s enough to make your eyes fill with tears, too. He looks so sad, so broken, like knowing he’s hurt you –even if it’s been completely unintentional– hurts him too.

He’s quick to stand and walk over to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You return the embrace, resting your head against his chest while one of his hands moves to cradle the back of your head.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers into your hair, and you can tell by the way his voice shakes that he means it. “I know things have been crazy lately, but that’s no excuse for leaving you here alone. I never want you to feel like you’re anything besides the most important person in my life. I love you so much, and I promise I’m going to fix this. Things will get better, I swear.”

And in that moment, you believe him. You trust him, after all, and you know he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep. So you let him mumble reassurances into your hair, let him kiss your breath away and shower you in the affection you’ve been missing for far too long.

It’s so easy to get lost in it, lost in him. Too easy.

He’s always been like that; charismatic and witty, magnetic and charming. It doesn’t help that he’s totally gorgeous, too. You knew, from the moment you met him, that if you ever let yourself fall in love with him, you’d be in trouble. It’s why you never took any of his advances seriously, at least not in the beginning.

But he was able to chip at your resolve with every teasing smile and playful wink, every reverent touch and whispered words meant just for you. He let you get to know him; the real him, not that flippant and perfect pretty boy facade he presents to the rest of the world, and so of course you fell for him, because how could you not?

Oikawa is stubborn and prideful, exhausting and even sometimes petty, but he makes you feel like you’re the strongest person he knows. He looks at you like you’re the only one he’ll ever want to see. He makes you laugh and keeps you on your toes, and you know right away –before you moved in together, before you told him you loved him– that you will never love anyone the way you love him, because no one else will ever be able to compare.

That’s why it’s so easy for you to believe him now. Because you know he loves you and that you love him, and the two of you are determined to make this relationship work. So when he promises that things will change, that he’ll be more present from here on out, you believe him.

It’s the first promise he’s ever made to you that he doesn’t keep.

For every event Oikawa does bother to make it to, he misses two more. Your parents, who adore him, wonder why they never see him anymore. Your friends start to ask if you even still have a boyfriend. You find yourself asking the very same thing.

You stop inviting him to events at your university and lunches with your friends. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment anymore, and you figure it’s easier to just save yourself from the inevitable. The apology gifts he gives you start to feel hollow, empty, just like your apartment. You stop opening them, letting them pile up in the corner of your living room. Eventually, he stops giving them to you.

You’re not sure if you’re thankful for that, or if it upsets you even more.

The Olympics get closer each day. Oikawa’s practices become more intense and even longer than they already were. There are so many things he needs to do now: games to play, meet and greets to attend. Sometimes if he’s out too late he just doesn’t come home at all. The team sets him up at a hotel, and he stays there for the night instead.

It gets harder to catch his scent on his pillow where it lays beside you in bed, untouched and forgotten. It should hurt you more, but it doesn’t.

There’s an event being held back in Japan, promising a night of drinking and dancing and schmoozing. All the investors and international players and coaches will be there, and you promised a while back to be Oikawa’s plus one.

The vindictive part of you wants to cancel on him, just so he knows how it feels, but you decide you can put your pettiness aside for a few nights if it means free booze and food and a comfortable stay at some ridiculously fancy hotel. You wonder if that’ll be enough to fill the hole he’s made in your heart.

Besides, you want to remind him that you’re the kind of person who keeps your word, even if he’s not.

The flight is long and exhausting. So is finding your hotel and forcing yourself to get dressed, but you get through it. Oikawa looks unfairly stunning in his suit, but you try not to notice. He arrives at the party with you on his arm, wearing a silky gown that matches his tie and jewelry that glitters whenever it catches the light.

You’ve barely talked to each other the whole way here, but at the party, amongst his teammates, old rivals, and friends, you’re the perfect couple. You smile, laugh, and dance exactly when you’re supposed to. You play your role so well that no one notices how numb you are, not even Oikawa, even though he’s supposed to know you better than anyone else.

Maybe that’s why you find yourself at the open bar. Oikawa’s off mingling with god knows who, swamped by dozens of people who are always seeking his favor, trapped in his orbit. They praise his hard work, his tenacity, his determination. Once upon a time, you would’ve done the same.

But things are different between you now. What used to be Oikawa’s endearing stubbornness is now an outright refusal to meet you halfway. His determination to be the best has become an inability to compromise; his passion has become obsession. It’s strange to think how all the things that used to make you love him now just make you resent him.

But the liquor here is free and flowing so you knock it back like water, and it’s almost enough to make you forget your heartbreak, your anger. Almost.

All the drinking eventually sends you to the bathroom. You touch up your makeup as best as you can and wash your hands with one of the several different soap options, exiting the bathroom noticeably drunker than you were when you went in.

You’re off-balance enough that when you run into what feels like a brick wall but is actually just a tall, broad-shouldered man, you stumble and nearly fall over. He reacts quicker than you do, catching your elbow and steadying you back on your feet.

He asks you if you’re all right and you reassure him that you are. You swear you’ve seen his face before, but you’re too tipsy right now to bother to remember where.

“I appreciate the help,” you say sincerely, patting his shoulder. “But I promise I’m okay. Thank you again, really.”

He gives you a look like he doesn’t believe you, and he’s proven right approximately five seconds later, when you turn on your heel to leave and nearly fall over again. Once more, he’s there to catch you.

You try to convince him that you’re okay; you’re just a little bit tipsy from all the champagne earlier, but he guides you to one of the stupid velvet couches in the hallway and makes you sit down. He tells you to stay there and wait for him, and you want to protest but he’s already gone before you can make any real sort of argument.

When he returns, it’s with a bottle of water, which you sheepishly accept. He stays with you as you drink it, and your vision and stomach start to settle. You thank him again for all his help. He tells you it’s no big deal, and when he introduces himself as Ushijima Wakatoshi, you laugh so hard you almost spit water all over yourself.

Ushijima raises an eyebrow at you. “Is there something about my name that amuses you?”

“No, no, nothing like that.” It takes more effort than it should, but you’re thankfully able to force yourself to stop laughing. Talk about ironic encounters. “It’s just– I’ve heard of you before.”

“Are you a fan of volleyball?”

You resist the urge to snort, sending him an amused smile instead. “Something like that.”

The two of you chat for a little while, and it’s a surprisingly pleasant conversation. You quite like his company, and you appreciate how he’s willing to keep an eye on you solely out of the kindness of his heart, just to make sure you’re really okay. It’s hardly necessary anymore –the water’s doing a great job at sobering you up– but it’s a nice distraction from the reason you started drinking in the first place.

Or it was, until you start to hear that very same reason calling your name from somewhere down the hall. His voice gets closer and closer, and you shut your eyes, bracing yourself.

“What the hell?”

You open your eyes and suddenly Oikawa is in front of you, eyebrows drawn together and lips pulled into a deep frown. You can only imagine what you look like to him right now, low-eyed and tipsy and sitting on a couch next to his oldest rival.

You can already see the anger in his eyes, the suspicion. He’s jealous, and it’s absolutely ridiculous because he has no right to be. Not after ignoring you for so long. Not after reminding you over and over again that when it comes down to it, you’ll always be second place to his career.

You haven’t been flirting with Ushijima, but now you wonder if maybe you should have. There’s a bitter part of you that wants to hurt Oikawa as much as he’s hurt you, even if it’s only for a moment.

Ushijima seems completely oblivious to the situation, which you’re sure just infuriates your boyfriend even more. He’s described to you in great detail how one of the things he finds most frustrating about Ushijima is how completely and utterly unbothered he is by everything.

“Oikawa,” the man closest to you greets, standing up. “It’s good to see you.”

“Ushiwaka.” The smile your boyfriend directs to his old rival is tight-lipped and void of any of its usual warmth. Oikawa’s gaze settles on you next, eyes narrowing even further. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Come on, let’s go.”

“I’m sorry.” Your voice is plain, dull, as you tilt your head at him mockingly. “Do I know you?”

“Stop being cute.” The way he practically snaps it makes it clear he doesn’t think you’re being cute at all. In fact, he actually looks pretty pissed, and you almost smile at the realization. As petty as he can be, it’s clear you’re better at this than he is. “It’s getting late. It’s time for us to leave.”

Ushijima’s gaze slides over to you. “Do you know him?”

But you’re not looking at him. You’re looking straight at Oikawa, at the tenseness of his shoulders, the way he’s on the verge of fuming. Apparently, just the idea of you being alone with his oldest rival is more concerning to him than the fact that you’ve barely spent any time with each other in the past two months. It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

“Of course.” You stand, closing the short distance between yourself and Oikawa. “He’s my boyfriend. My loving, devoted, perfect boyfriend.”

You place the hand that’s not holding your water bottle against his chest, perching on your toes to deliver a sweet kiss to his cheek. When you pull away, the stain of your lipstick remains, and you wonder if he can feel the resentment in it.

“I just forget sometimes, is all. You know, since we never see each other.”

You don’t bother to examine the look on his face. You can’t find it in yourself to care anymore. You turn to Ushijima instead, offering a tired but genuine smile.

“Thank you again for your help, Ushijima. It was a pleasure to officially meet you. Have a good night.”

You turn on your heel and walk away, down the hall and past several magnificent paintings, past any apology you would normally be ready to offer. It’s petty and deliberate, the kind of reaction you didn’t think you were capable of before this, but it’s all you have left. Oikawa doesn’t care, hasn’t cared for a while actually, so neither will you.

You don’t know what he says to Ushijima or if he even says anything at all, but you do hear his footsteps when he runs after you. They slow as he gets closer, but you don’t stop walking, don’t turn back to look.

“Are you fucking kidding me? What– what the fuck was all that back there, huh?”

You stop. Slowly, you turn to look at him, but you don’t say anything. You just stand there, watching, waiting, feeling absolutely nothing as you do.

“‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’” It’s a poor imitation of your voice, but the intention is there. “So what, I don’t spend enough time with you and suddenly it’s okay for you to flirt with someone else?”

You laugh without humor. “That’s what you’re stuck on? The fact that I had a conversation with him and not the part where I said we never see each other? You truly have a gift, Tooru.”

The frown on his face deepens, but the anger in his eyes softens a little, replaced by a hint of guilt. There’s regret there, too, over not keeping the promise he made to you. You would be more moved by it if you weren’t so completely infuriated right now.

He closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. “I’m not going to have this argument with you. Not here.”

“Where should we have it then, hm? In the lobby? At the hotel? We’re damn sure not having it when we get home, because you’re never fucking there!”

You don’t mean to scream at him, but that’s what comes out. You’re not sure which one of you is more surprised by it. Oikawa stares at you, wide-eyed and stunned, as if you’ve just slapped him, and you stare back, breathing hard. You’re so focused on each other you don’t even notice you have an audience until you hear a new, familiar voice speak.

“Hey.” Iwaizumi steps between you, concerned and cautious.

He’s the only one here, thank god, but his appearance reminds you that this is definitely not the time or the place for any of this. You shouldn’t care who overhears you, but as angry as you are, you’re not selfish enough to air out your relationship’s problems in front of all of Oikawa’s friends and colleagues. You still love him, after all, even if it’s hurting you to do so.

Iwaizumi casts a wary glance between you and his best friend, almost like he’s preparing himself to play the unwilling referee in what seems to be an inevitable fight. Any other time, you might’ve laughed at the look on his face, but not now. “Everything okay, you two?”

It’s not. It hasn’t been for a while, and right now Oikawa’s looking at you like he’s finally realizing that too.

The car ride back to the hotel is eerily silent. You and Oikawa share no words, no fleeting glances; you don’t even sit close enough to touch each other, not even accidentally. The ride up to your floor is spent in a similar fashion, a cold distance settling between you that’s never been there before.

Or maybe it’s been there for a while, and it took you screaming at him in the middle of a party for the two of you to notice it.

Miraculously, you make it into your room in one piece. The two of you remove your coats and shoes in that same suffocating silence. You make it to the bedroom without exchanging a single word, and he takes a seat on the bed while you sit in front of the vanity and begin removing your jewelry.

Another long stretch of silence later, and then he’s meeting your eyes in the mirror to ask, “Can we talk?”

You consider telling him to go fuck himself instead, but somehow you bite down the urge.

“About what?” You take off your necklace, a pretty golden chain with your birthstone on it that he got you for your birthday. “About how I wasn’t flirting with Ushijima? Because I wasn’t, if that’s what you’re still so torn up about.”

“I know you weren’t,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. It’s a bit longer than you remember; that’s how long it’s been since you’ve really gotten the chance to look at him. “I don’t know why I said that.”

“I do. You were jealous.” Your earrings are the next to go, another gift from him. He’s scattered himself into so many pieces across your life; you’re not sure how you’ll ever be free of him, or if you’ll ever want to be. “But you had no reason to be. I would never do that to you.”

“I know.” He looks down, fidgets with his fingers, meets your gaze again through the mirror. His tie is loosened around his neck, making him look disheveled in just the way you like. “I’m sorry.”

“Great.” Your tone is short, clipped, as you finally remove the last of your jewelry. “Is that all?”

“Please don’t do that. I’m trying to have a conversation with you here, so that we can fix this. I mean, don’t you want to talk about everything, especially after tonight?”

“I’ve already said everything I needed to say, Tooru.” You break your gaze from the mirror, turning to glance over your shoulder at him instead. “You know exactly what the problem is, just like I know you won’t do a single thing to change it. You can’t, because my feelings –our entire relationship– all of that stuff’s always going to come second to the things you want.”

The frown from earlier is back now, this time paired with a hard look, like he can’t believe you’re questioning his commitment, even though he’s given you dozens of reasons to do so. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” You rise to your feet, a dry, humorless laugh escaping your throat as you do. “Tell that to the countless dates you’ve missed. Tell that to the bed you hardly sleep in anymore, to all the times I’ve fallen asleep without you and then woken up only to realize you still weren’t there.”

The words feel heavy and bitter on your tongue, your anger growing the more you think about everything you’ve endured over the past few months, all the different ways he’s managed to disappoint you.

“There’s nothing untrue about it, Tooru. You just don’t care about me the way I care about you.”

“Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me I don’t care about you?” he demands. “Of course I care. I love you, dammit. How could you ever think I don’t?”

“How couldn’t I? God, have you seriously not heard a single thing I’ve said this entire time? I’m practically in this relationship by myself, and you’re doing absolutely nothing to change that!”

“You think I like having to leave you on your own so much? You think it doesn’t break my heart seeing the look on your face every time I have to tell you I can’t make it to all the things I want to be there for?” He’s on his feet now, hand jabbing at his chest, like if he could rip out his heart and show you the scars there, he would. “Because it does, okay? It makes me fucking miserable, but what else am I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to be there, Tooru!” You don’t know when you started crying, but you are. You’re yelling too, hands shaking, voice raw. “You’re supposed to be there when I need you, not make stupid promises you can’t keep! And even if you can’t be there all the time, you’re at least supposed to try!”

“I am trying! I’ve been trying this whole time, and you know that!” He sounds as exasperated and raw as you do, waving his arms around, red-faced and distressed. “You knew what my goals were before we started dating. I never hid them from you. You knew exactly what I wanted, you knew how hard I would have to work, how hard it would be for us, and you agreed to be with me anyway! You promised me you wouldn’t let it come between us!”

“Well, that was before I knew how fucking impossible it would be!”

There’s nothing productive being exchanged between the two of you anymore. You’re just screaming at each other. You call him obsessed and self-absorbed; he calls you needy and demanding. He tells you to grow up and stop asking for so much, and you tell him he’s chasing a pointless dream.

You’re not trying to compromise with each other, or trying to make the other see your point of view. You both just want to hurt each other, and you do.

You’re crying by the end of it; so is he, but you both refuse to admit defeat. It’s one of the many things you have in common: your stubbornness. You’re out of breath and hurting and there’s a small part of you that just wants him to hold you, but at the same time, you can’t stand the sight of him anymore.

You storm out of the room before he gets the chance to, looking back to catch him throwing his hands in the air in exasperation. You throw yourself onto the couch and opt to sleep there for the night, because you know that if you don’t, you’ll probably end up strangling each other.

Oikawa, for once, is wise enough not to follow you, but there’s a quiet voice inside your heart that wishes he did.

You wake up the next morning with a stuffy nose and a migraine. The price of crying yourself to sleep, you suppose. Your appetite is gone but you know that if you don’t eat anything soon the pain behind your skull will only get worse, so you force yourself to stand from the couch.

You step on something hard, eyes widening at the indignant noise of protest it lets out in response. You lose your footing almost immediately, toppling over onto the carpet. It’s everything you can do to throw out your hands and avoid smacking your forehead against the coffee table.

“What the fuck, Tooru?” You scowl when you realize it’s not a random object you’ve tripped over, but rather your own boyfriend, who for some inconceivable reason is laying on the floor beside the couch. “It’s bad enough we spent last night fighting– now you’re trying to kill me, too?”

“I could say the same thing to you!” Oikawa exclaims, returning your scowl with equal exasperation. He’s rubbing at his chest, a pout tugging at his lips as he groans. “You just stepped on my chest. I could have died.”

“Oh, bite me, drama queen.” You roll your eyes, preparing to stand up again, but then you notice the dark circles on his usually flawless skin, the messiness of his hair, and the fact that he’s still wearing his suit from last night, though the tie is gone and the first few buttons of his shirt are loosened. “...did you actually sleep out here? On the floor? Why didn’t you just sleep on the bed like a normal person?”

“I couldn’t.” He pouts even more, and when you nudge his leg with your foot, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “It didn’t feel right without you. It never does. But it felt even worse after last night.”

It melts your heart, you admit. Just a little. But it’s not enough to make you forgive him or to forget your argument, and right now he’s looking at you like he knows that too.

Still, you feel the urge to remind him, “I’m still pissed at you.”

“I know. I’m really sorry. Not just for what I said last night, but for everything I’ve done before that. I never should’ve made you feel like you’re asking for too much, because you’re not, it’s just…” He takes a shaky breath, leans his head back against the couch from where he sits beside you on the floor. “...it’s hard.”

He turns his body slightly so he’s facing you fully. He starts to reach out a hand towards you, almost like he wants to cup your cheek, but he seems to think better of it and lets his hand drop down between you. You almost smile.

His eyes are hesitant as they meet yours, apologetic. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you, either.” You fiddle with the straps of your gown where they’ve slid down your arm. You were so exhausted and upset after your fight with him that you didn’t bother to change out of it. “...do you really think I’m needy and demanding?”

“Of course not,” he answers easily. “Do you really think I’m chasing a pointless dream?”

“Definitely not. Your dream isn't pointless, Tooru, it’s amazing, and it’s one I know you can reach.” Your hands brush where they rest between you. He tenses slightly, like he’s not sure you’ll want to touch him after everything, but you slide your fingers through his and watch as he lets out a quiet sigh of relief. “I was just angry.”

“Me too.” He squeezes your hand, and you let him pull you a bit closer to him, let him press a kiss to the back of your palm. “I don’t want to fight with you. And I definitely don’t want to disappoint you anymore.”

“I don’t want to blame you or resent you anymore, either.” You inch closer and he lets you rest your head against his shoulder, resting his own against yours in return. A clock ticks on the wall behind you. For the first time in a while, it feels like the two of you are back in sync. “So what are we gonna do about it?”

It’s the million-dollar question, it seems. And it’s the one that, after weeks of heartache, of missing each other and blaming each other at the same time, he finally has the answer to.

When you return to Argentina together, everything changes. Oikawa’s determination goes back to being something you love, now that he’s putting it towards making sure the two of you get to spend time together. He’s at the apartment more; does his best to get to dinner on time, to attend outings with your family and friends, and to meet you halfway at fancy restaurants and magnificent museums and shower you with his undivided attention.

It’s not perfect. He’s still busy, so he can’t be with you all the time, but the effort is there. You see it now more than ever, and it’s all you’ve wanted.

It doesn’t last.

You spend three blissful months together, both of you putting in an equal amount of effort to make it work, to understand each other and support each other, even when it seems impossible. But Oikawa’s schedule becomes more and more unyielding as time goes on, and it’s not long before the cycle of absence starts all over again.

If you had to really pinpoint the beginning of the end, you’d say it’s the night of your presentation. The research project you’ve spent countless hours working on has finally been completed, and tonight you’re going to share it with the public; this thing you’ve struggled with since you entered grad school, this thing you’ve put your blood, sweat, and tears into, both metaphorically and literally.

It goes incredibly well, as your professors and mentors reassured you it would. Your classmates, friends, and parents are all there, and they get to watch and glow with pride as the room erupts into applause once you finish your presentation, knocking the whole thing out of the park just like they knew you would.

The only one who isn’t there is Oikawa, despite you telling him about this ages ago, despite it being written on the calendar hanging on your fridge. You know he texted you with some excuse, but you don’t bother to check which one it was this time.

It should hurt more. It should make you want to shout and scream, to sob and cry, but it doesn’t. The anger you felt before, the fury and heartbreak; it’s not there anymore. It’s gone. You’re not sad or upset or disappointed. You just don’t feel anything at all.

Your friends offer to take you out for the night to celebrate, but you politely decline. Instead, you make your way to the apartment you share with Oikawa, finding it emptier than it’s ever been before.

Months ago, you might’ve cried. Now you do nothing, say nothing, feel nothing. It’s just numb.

By the time Oikawa does make it home, you’re already packed. You’re sitting at the table, waiting, still as a statue. He greets you in a flurry of brown hair and frantic movement, an apology you don’t care to listen to fast on his lips. He whirls by you so quickly he doesn’t even notice your bags stacked next to you.

“Shit, baby, I’m so sorry! I know I’m late, but I’m here now and I promise I won’t be going anywhere for the next few–…”

It takes him a few moments, a couple of double-takes, but finally, he registers the silence around him, the sight of you at the table, surrounded by your things. For once, he has no idea what to say; you see it in the way he looks at you, the way he freezes, wide-eyed and almost afraid.

“My research presentation was today,” you start. “It went great. They’re going to publish it in a journal.”

You watch his face crumple right before your eyes, watch the way his shoulders slump. He looks more defeated now than during any of his previous losses, and so, so incredibly guilty.

“But I thought it wasn’t until–...but it was, wasn’t it? Oh, god. I– I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know you are.”

You stand up. The smile you send him is tired and a little sad, but it’s not bitter, at least not anymore. You’re past that now. You’d like to think you both are.

“I’m so proud of you, Tooru. You work harder than anybody I’ve ever known. I just know you’re going to reach every single one of your dreams.”

You mean it, too. Oikawa has an incredible future ahead of him. You’ve always known that. Once upon a time, you believed you might be a part of it, but not anymore.

“...but I also know that I can’t be with you when you do. I can’t– I won’t be second place for the rest of my life.”

He’s incredibly stubborn, and this time is no different. He tries to change your mind, tries to convince you to stay, but it’s far too little and far too late. Too much has happened between you two, and you just don’t have it in you to be disappointed anymore.

You love him. You do. You always will, and you tell him so, too. But just because you love someone, you remind him softly, doesn’t mean you’re meant to be with them. You love him enough to let him go, and you’re hoping he loves you the same.

“But you promised you’d stay,” he whispers, more heartbroken than you’ve ever seen him over all of this, over you. “You promised we’d figure it out. And now...now you’re just giving up on us?”

You place your keys on the table. The clock in your– no, his kitchen ticks along. It matches the slow, broken beating of your heart. He’s run out of time, and you’ve run out of chances.

“That’s just it, Tooru. I have nothing left to give you.”

This time when you leave, you don’t look back.

Written by: Dawn

#oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa imagines #haikyuu imagines #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #our writing #oikawa angst #oikawa tooru angst #dawn writes

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ushittyoldman · 3 years

Text

sweetheart like you

request. hiii welcome! my brain is empty rn but some spike fics would be so amazing! i’ll probably be back when i have an idea but for now maybe just some first kiss with Spike and up until then they had just been flirting:)

pairing. spike x fem!reader

warning. language, mentions of s ex, & just a whole bunch of fluff

a/n. my first spike request eeeeee here u go anon! i hope u like it, it’s still taking me a while 2 pin down his characterization so i kinda just went w how i thought he’d b in a situation like this. nevertheless, i hope u like it thank u 4 this cute asf request (fun fact! spike always reminded me of bob dylan bc of his hair so this title came from a bob dylan song)

"Found him,” you mumbled discreetly into your ear piece, your sunglasses sliding slightly down your nose.

“Attagirl,” you heard Spike’s smooth drawl through the ear piece, and you attempted to conceal the slight smile that had made its way to your face.

“Careful, Spike, looks like I’m doing your job for you,” you teased, still keeping a watchful eye on the slimy suspect who happened to hold a handsome bounty on his head.

“Can’t really complain when you look so much better doing it.”

“Just fuck already so I don’t have to hear this everyday!” Faye snapped, and this time you couldn’t help the soft blush that colored your cheeks. You tightened your jacket around yourself, attempting to alleviate some of the embarrassment you felt.

“It’s not like that—”

“You know you’re always welcome to join us, Faye,” Spike retaliated, and this time you couldn’t hold back your giggle. Had you turned around, you wouldn’t have missed Spike’s smile widening upon hearing the musical sound.

“I’d rather die.” Faye deadpanned, and you had to remind yourself that you couldn’t laugh too loudly due to the delicate position you were currently in.

“One day... just one day of peace and quiet. You think that’s a lot to ask for, Ein?”

Silence followed Jet’s tired question, and you realized you’d have to once again step up and apologize on behalf of you three. You softly mumbled into the earpiece, “Sorry, Jet, remind me to buy you a new bonsai tree to make it up to you!”

You could hear the smile in his voice as he enthusiastically said your name. “Anyone ever tell you you’re an absolute sweetheart?”

“Once or twice.”

Before anyone could respond, movement from the corner of your eye caught your attention. The man you had been tailing had stood up from his seat on the couch, paying the stripper who had clung to him for the majority of the hour. You began to subtly gather your things and pay for your drink at the bar, preparing to follow him out of the club.

“He’s on the move,” you angled your head to your left, eyes searching for familiar brown eyes, “I’m gonna follow him.”

Once your eyes met Spike’s, an understanding passed between you two. He had been sitting on one of the couches towards the back of the dimly-lit room. His long legs were spread as his arm was casually draped over the top of the couch, and a cigarette loosely hung from his lips. His long hair was pulled back slightly, since it was styled to mimic the type of men who frequented the club, and you smiled at the memory of you and Faye attempting to tame his hair in the bathroom right before you three departed on the mission. Though he was attempting to pass off as a regular civilian enjoying the strip show, there was something about Spike that made him stand out from the rest of the crowd. Realizing you had probably spent an abnormal amount of time admiring him, you met his eyes again and decided to ignore the look of blatant amusement that so clearly danced within them.

You simply nodded once and you silently applauded yourself on being able to catch the subtle nod he gave you in response in the dimly-lit room. His lips quirked up slightly, and you somehow felt more reassured in your ability to pursue the criminal.

Gulping down the last of your drink just for that liquid confidence, you delicately placed the payment on the table, and adjusted your top as you followed the man out the door. As you left the strip club, you noticed the shadow of the man’s trench coat as he leisurely walked towards the darker side of the already extremely shady town. You inhaled sharply before wrapping your own coat around yourself tighter. Suddenly, the man took a sharp left turn into a narrow dark alleyway between two buildings with impossibly bright neon signs.

“He went down an alley— that’s gotta be a dead-end. It’s almost too easy!”

Spike quickly yelled out your name, an odd edge to his words. “No! We’re sticking to the plan.”

“But I can—”

“Spike’s right, it’s too risky,” Faye interrupted evenly, though her tone showcased her own concern at your irrational thinking.

Deciding to prove them wrong, you furrowed your eyebrows and tightened your grip on the concealed gun. You let out a soft exhale, your breath visible in the frosty night. You immediately turned the corner, prepared to take the man by surprise, yet you stilled in shock when you were suddenly slammed against the brick wall. You could faintly hear your sunglasses clatter on the ground. You saw stars the moment your head hit the wall, and you were almost positive you were dealing with a concussion. You internally grimaced at the earful you’d undoubtedly be receiving from Spike, Jet, and Faye.

“What do you think you’re doing, you sneaky little bitc— ooh,” he mockingly cooed, “You’re pretty.”

“Oh, for the love of—” you heard Spike groan in your earpiece, most likely realizing you deliberately disobeyed the plan.

The man’s rough hands began playing with your hair, and you tried your best not to cringe at the feeling. Briefly, you conceded that Faye and Jet may have been right when they voiced their concerns over you working alongside the bounty hunters on this mission. You were the Bebop’s resident medic, and you had an alarming lack of experience with guns and self-defense in general. The two facts paired with your intense hatred of harming people, and you were most definitely the least qualified person to be on this mission.

Momentarily, you wondered why you even pushed so hard to join your friends and leave the safety of the Bebop. You suddenly thought of Spike. Spike with his lazy smile, as he encouraged you to join them. Spike and his untamable hair as he taught you how to use a gun. Spike and his warm hands as he softly caressed your cheek the first and only time you had managed to take him down in your self-defense classes.

You groaned internally as the realization hit you harder than the concussion.

Stupid Spike.

Deciding not to succumb to death just as yet, you abruptly realized there was a technique that Spike had taught you for this very occasion. You groggily tried to remember the technique, and you urged yourself to remember quicker when the man began to trail his hands down your body. Belatedly, you realized your coat was now on the ground, drenched in the wet snow, and the unforgiving cold air was nipping at your exposed arms and legs.

“Gonna take you on a ride, girly,” he wickedly mumbled in your ear, and you tried your best not to flinch.

Through the cloudy haze of your brain, you managed to mimic Spike’s exact movements as you replayed the memory of his lean body demonstrating what to do. Lifting your knee to kick the suspect in his groin, you cringed as he let out a yell of pain. He bent over, and you took advantage of his momentary distraction by lifting yourself up and gracefully (you’d like to think) wrapping your thighs around his head, letting out a quiet grunt as you used all of your weight to flip the two of you over and onto the cold pavement. You shakily landed on your feet, but you heard a sickening crunch as the man’s face was the first to make contact with the concrete. The guilt almost bubbled to the surface, but you decided he was one of the few who deserved what he got.

You let out a quick huff as your ample chest heaved up and down with every breath. You could feel that your hair was a tousled mess, and your skirt had ridden up considerably.

“Holy shit.”

You looked up quickly and belatedly realized Spike had been standing there, casually leaning against the wall, his arms crossed. He had a small smile on his face, though there was also an uncharacteristic red tint to his angular face.

“Spike?” you breathed out. Despite his relaxed expression, you were momentarily worried that he would be annoyed with you not following the plan.

“Quite the little badass, aren’t you?” he responded, no heat and all fondness.

You took a step towards him, though you swayed slightly. You grimaced at the idea of your bare knees hitting pavement, but more so at the fact that you’d be embarrassing yourself in front of Spike. Your confusion grew when you realized that you were suddenly gently lifted in someone’s arms. Perplexed, you looked up and made eye contact with warm brown ones.

When did he catch me? you silently thought to yourself, and you figured the concussion was a lot more serious than you had previously thought.

“You with me?” Spike softly mumbled your name, and you noticed the concern clouding his eyes. You suddenly realized how close your faces were.

“Concussion,” you quickly responded and you internally slapped yourself at the stupid response, “I, uh. I have one.”

Spike’s face broke out into his typical shit-eating grin, and you felt yourself lighten at the familiar expression.

“You’re cute,” he casually spoke. Spike’s smile widened at the pretty blush that had colored your cheeks.

Just then, a particularly relentless gust of cold air blew through the ally, and you unknowingly shivered. You boldly cradled yourself further into Spike’s broad chest, and his smile dropped upon remembering your current situation.

“Faye,” he snapped into the earpiece as he angled his face slightly away from you, “thank you for taking your sweet time.”

“Pleasure’s all mine, jackass. I’m almost there.”

Your shivering worsened, as the cold air nipped at your exposed arms, legs, midriff, and cleavage. Softly shifting your body so that you were comfortably held up with his one arm, Spike quickly pulled off his jacket with his free arm, and moved you so that he could hold you with his other arm as he completely took off his jacket. You hadn’t noticed, mainly due to the softness of his almost imperceptible actions, and so you were completely surprised when you suddenly felt a warm blanket cover your entire body.

Your eyes snapped open when you realized that it smelled way too good to be a blanket. You looked down at the familiar navy blue jacket that dwarfed your entire body, and you looked up into amused brown eyes.

His yellow shirt was casually rolled up at the sleeves, and the button-up was tightly fitted across his lean yet muscular figure. His arms flexed underneath your weight, and you relished in the feeling of his warm arms caressing the bare skin of your own legs and arms as he held you bridal style in the dark alley. Your stomach erupted into butterflies as the weight and intimacy of the situation set in. You were brought out of your thoughts when you realized he had caught you subtly checking him out again.

“Stop laughing at me,” you huffed as a wayward strand of your silky hair landed on your forehead.

“Why would I be laughing at you, pretty girl?” he mumbled, a smile dancing on his lips.

His lips.

They were so close to your own, and you were once again filled with the insatiable urge to kiss him. You blinked quickly at the thought. Your concussion must have been doing a real number on you.

Your internal confliction grew stronger with each passing second. A large, large part of you wanted to close the distance between you two and finally kiss Spike, consequences be damned. But the small, louder part of you was terrified. You were terrified of rejection, of your insecurities coming to light, of being just another meaningless fling to Spike. Your thoughts grew cloudier, and you were overtaken with the sudden urge to sleep.

Your eyes grew heavy, and your head began to loll against his broad chest. Noticing this, Spike’s smile dropped once again and he began to silently curse Faye and her damned time management skills. He hurriedly mumbled your name, his distress clearly evident in his deep voice.

“C’mon now don’t go falling asleep with a concussion,” he teased, and some of his worry for you was quelled when he heard your quiet, breathy laughter in response, “Careful, doc, looks like I’m doing your job for you.”

Your smile widened upon his teasing remark, mocking your words from earlier, and you rolled your eyes in response. “Smartass.”

“Never said otherwise.”

Once again, his lips were just the right distance from your own, and you felt an instant surge of confidence. You swallowed, and squashed every single worry and fear you had, reasoning that this was Spike, your Spike, and he wouldn’t hurt you.

“There is... there is one thing you can do to help the concussion,” you shyly said, your cheeks burning brighter than the red neon sign that loomed over you two.

Spike’s eyes widened and his face turned serious and desperate as he nodded. “Tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

Butterflies erupted once again upon noticing how prepared he was to help you, and you smiled up in pure adoration at the tall man. Your eyes quickly darted to his lips then back up to those enchanting eyes.

“You have to come closer.”

Spike blinked once. A second time. And then he smiled softly at you. Understanding flashed in his eyes, and you swore his cheeks held the faintest of blushes. He leaned in closer.

“This close?” he knowingly teased, an encouraging lilt to his soft tone.

“Closer.”

You swore you could feel your heart in your throat as it sporadically beat faster the closer he came. His face was now right in front of yours, and you nervously swallowed. You licked your lips, and he looked down at them, mesmerized with the action.

“How’s this?” he smiled up at you, his usual playful smile on his handsome face.

“Spike,” you half moaned and half whined, frustrated with having him so close, yet not being able to finally get what you want.

His breath hitched at the sweet sound of you moaning his name, and he couldn’t help it before he leaned in slowly and met your soft lips. You closed your eyes and relished in the ecstatic feeling. The kiss itself wasn’t very long, yet everything about it was already burned into your brain. Your lips molded against his for a few more seconds before you softly pulled away and let out a dreamy sigh.

Your nerves attempted to get the better of you, yet you surprisingly felt reassured in your feelings for Spike. You silently looked up at him, but he was already looking down at you with nothing but warmth and fondness on his face. He softly reached down and tucked the wayward strand of hair behind your ear, before softly caressing your cheek. You leaned your face into his warm palm as you closed your eyes once more, and he felt his heart ache sweetly.

“You really should get concussions more often,” Spike cheekily said.

“Shut up,” you responded as you closed your eyes again to nuzzle your face into his chest. There was no heat in your response, and Spike couldn’t help but silently admire you.

He moved closer to you and gently kissed your forehead before straightening himself up. He tucked you closer into his chest and tightened his jacket around your figure.

Somehow, you weren’t as cold anymore.

“About damn time.”

Your eyes opened, and you mustered up as bright a smile as you could at your friend.

“Faye!”

An unamused expression donned Spike’s face, and he turned around to pointedly glare at Faye. “I could say the same thing to you. What, you saw a mirror on your way here?”

Faye had restrained the suspect at this point, her heeled shoes digging into his back as a way to alleviate the anger she felt at the man for what he did to you. She looked up and genuinely smiled at Spike, adjusting her coat.

“Jab all you want, Spike, but thanks to you, I won the little bet I had going on with Jet!”

Faye’s amusement grew when she saw your smile drop and Spike’s glare turn into a lofty smile almost simultaneously. You looked up at Spike, yet you flinched at the sudden movement, as the pounding in your head worsened. Concern washed over Spike, yet you shook your head in reassurance, before continuing.

“Spike— the earpiece!”

“You just had to make a move now,” Spike mockingly chided, though you knew he wasn’t as bothered as you were.

“Concussion!” you reminded him, and he cooed at the pout you gave him as his gaze softened.

You gulped before guiltily mumbling Jet’s name. “…Jet?”

“Two bonsai trees, you hear me? You owe me two bonsai trees now.”

#spike spiegel x reader #spike spiegel #spike x reader #cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop fanfiction #this was so fun 2 write n i am sad its over #spike cowboy bebop

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hufflautia · 3 years

Note

“we’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” and/or “would you just shut up and kiss me already”

Warnings: Smut. 18+ only.

Hufflepuff watched as Slytherin shut the door behind them. He's mad, she thought, suppressing a smirk. This is gonna be a long night.

Slytherin walked over to where Hufflepuff was sitting. She mindlessly drummed her nails against the wooden table, not bothering to meet his gaze. She knew his eyes were on her. They always were.

"Why did you bring me to your room," Hufflepuff sighed. "We're missing the reunion."

Slytherin ignored her question. "What kind of bullshit was that?"

She tilted her head, feigning an innocent look. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I just told Gryffindor that you and I are friends."

He leaned in with his hands resting against the arms of the chair, trapping her in. His hot breath kissed her cheek as he spoke.

"We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

When they had made the mutual decision to have sex with no strings attached a couple of months ago, Hufflepuff was fine with it. But there was an instance where she had waken up earlier than he did and her eyes were drawn to the way soft puffs of air left his lips. And then she began laughing at his jokes more. More than once, her heart raced uncomfortably fast at the feeling of his lips dragging torturously slow over her bare skin. She brushed this off and reasoned that other people would have a similar reaction. But it got to the point where she laid in bed at night with the sweet lull of sleep nowhere to be found, for she could not stop thinking about him. It was then that she knew she had done the exact thing she had forbade herself to do. She had fallen in love with Slytherin Lestrange.

Slytherin never seemed to realize. He couldn't even notice the difference in the way she kissed him or the fact that her eyes clung to him when he laughed or flashed one of his signature smirks that she had initially found to be annoying; she now considered it to be one of his most endearing qualities.

But now Hufflepuff was fed up. It was annoying to love a guy who was totally oblivious. So when Slytherin brought her to his room at the hotel they were staying at for the class reunion, she was gonna make it hurt. She wanted him to feel how frustrating it was to be with someone who was clueless.

"Friends with benefits, maybe." Her tone was icy. "But nothing more than that."

An unreadable expression washed over his face and Hufflepuff furrowed her eyebrows. What was that?

"Okay," he said slowly. "Then why didn't you say that?"

"Are you kidding me?" She sat up in her chair. Their faces were inches apart. "Did you really want me to tell Gryffindor that we're fucking?"

He smirked.

"If it'll let him know that you're mine."

The word sent a searing hot sensation through her body, the heat between her legs becoming harder to ignore. But she refused to let him have the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on her.

"Why are you so pressed about this anyway," she said, changing the subject. "It's only Gryffindor."

"Gryffindor," he growled, the tenor of his voice making her uncomfortably needy. "You mean the guy who's been trying to make a move on you since fifth year?"

"That was years ago," she exhaled before she stood and walked towards the window. She gazed upon the view. "This is our class reunion. He's probably gotten over his little crush by now." Hufflepuff ignored Slytherin as he walked up behind her. His torso pressed against her back.

"He definitely didn't," he glowered, "and we both know it."

A teasing smile pulled at her lips. "Good for me, I guess. Maybe I'll pay him a little visit later tonight."

Hufflepuff had to bite back a laugh when she felt him tense up - it was so easy to rile him up sometimes. Her smile faded when he slipped his hands around her hips.

"I'll ignore what happened with Gryffindor," he said coolly, his lips brushing against the shell of her ear. His hands slid under her dress, and Hufflepuff hitched her breath as they slowly traveled towards her cunt, leaving a touch of fire. The air in her lungs seemed to disappear at his next words.

"Because he's not the one fucking you senseless every day."

Her resolve began to crumble as his hands skimmed along her inner thighs, coming dangerously close to her clothed clit.

"He's not the one whose name you cry out at night," he continued. "He doesn't know how to touch you, where to touch you. He doesn't know how to make you scream." Hufflepuff gasped when his thumb met her clit. Her head fell back against his shoulder as he made slow circular motions over the bud, giving her the pleasure she craved. His erection pressed against her back as she whimpered and mewled under his touch.

A whine escaped her throat when he suddenly drew his hand away. Confused, she opened her eyes and turned. His hands were still on her hips as he watched her, a smirk on his face.

"Gryffindor," he drawled with dark eyes, "isn't the one who memorized every curve of your body. He's not the one leaving you begging for more. He doesn't know how good your tight cunt feels around—"

"But you do," Hufflepuff breathed. "It's you who knows how to make me feel good." The corner of his lips lifted smugly. Her cheeks were flushed as she gazed up at him. "Now would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

Slytherin stepped closer until their chests touched, their breaths meeting each other in the middle.

"Admit we're more than friends," he murmured, "and I'll do more than just kiss you."

I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING THAT SMUTTY BEFORE OH MY GOSH I CANT COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I LAUGHED BC SOMETIMES I LAUGH WHEN IM NERVOUS. is it bad that i listened to Call Me By Your Name while writing the ending:'). i actually have written something smuttier when i was drafting this fic for someone who requested sly and huff's first time. i havent finished but that's 10x more smutty than this.

This had more angst than I expected lmao I would've continued writing but this fic is long enough already and I also liked how it ended. But if I HAD continued, I would've addressed the angst situation and continued the story with something like this:

A somber expression washed over Hufflepuff's face, and she looked away. Slytherin furrowed his eyebrows, not expecting this reaction. He gingerly touched her hand.

"What do you want me to say, Slytherin?" she murmured, keeping her gaze on the floor. [would've written something that flows well to the next paragraph and insinuates that Hufflepuff is like "what are we to you?"

He didn't respond immediately, [would've written something that signifies his confusion, like he didnt understand what she was asking but then he does]

"I..." [would've written more dialogue but I don't have any ideas rn. i was about to realllyyyy think about this and then i stopped myself and was like jess stop it this isnt an official part 2, just wing it, ur getting way too ahead of urself]

-something happens where sly says you like me and huff is like ???? HOW. DO U KNOW. and then sly brings up this time when huff kissed him softly and she gets defensive-

"You kissed me back!" she retorts.

"I did," he said coolly.

She blinks, making the connection.

"You did," she repeats.

^basically insinuates that yes,he kissed her back, so he lieks her too and huff just realized that (via the "you did") and then i wouldve thought of a way to transition that and make it fluffy and then they fuck but i leabe the ending ambiguous like how i had left the original story. also i kinda hinted that sly liked her too by including this line: "An unreadable expression washed over his face and Hufflepuff furrowed her eyebrows. What was that?"

And that's the end, folks! Hope you enjoyeeed

#harry potter #harrypotter #slytherpuff #slytherin #hufflepuff #hufferin #harry potter smut #slytherin and hufflepuff #hufflepuff and slytherin #hufflepuff x slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #hogwarts houses #slytherpuff relationship #tw smut #harry potter houses

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13uswntimagines · 3 years

Text

Our Song (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Request: alyssa naehex reader thats set during quarantine w/ “Shy” by Alexander Stewart. I just kind of think it’s cute since she’s an introvert and that it would be fitting

Author’s Note: Speical Thanks To @literaryhedgehog

Alyssa knew she should just say it, that admitting it out loud would finally put an end to this madness. She ran a soothing hand through your hair when you sniffled loudly into her chest.

God, she should just tell you how she felt. But, she also didn’t want to overstep. That would make being roommates really awkward. Especially since neither of you were supposed to leave the apartment right now except for essential purchases. And she didn’t want to lose her best friend. That would really suck.

But she wasn’t afraid to say what no one else would- you had a terrible taste when it came to partners. You chose people who didn’t value you, and you always ended up hurt.

This time was no different, well, it was slightly different considering you couldn’t leave your shared apartment to cope like you normally would. Alyssa didn’t know if that was better or worse, considering that you had adapted your breakup routine to just be endless cuddles with her and your favorite stuffed animal.

She had already spent the last hour making comforting noises. You had stopped shedding tears 15 minutes ago, so Alyssa decided it was time to go for some humor. “Hey, so now you and Taylor Swift have something in common!”

“Hmm” You hummed in acknowledgment, your eyes never leaving where Supergirl was playing on screen.

“Well, she was broken up with over text. You were broken up with over text. I think this is the perfect opportunity to listen to her re-recording of Fearless, and really channel those emotions!”

“No, Joe broke up with her in a 27-second phone call,” You lifted your head up off of her very comfortable chest to raise your eyebrow at the woman.

Alyssa was a great keeper, and amazing at crosswords, but she always needed your help when it came to Taylor trivia.

“Then Joe showed more consideration as an 18-year-old child than your 32 year old wanna be soccer star. It doesn’t change the fact that I think listening to Mr Perfectly Fine would be cathartic.”

“It’s kinda funny that she wrote Forever and Always, Mr. Perfectly fine, Better than Revenge and Holy Ground all about the same guy, they’re all so different from each other,” You mumbled, settling back down on her chest. At least she didn’t say that you had as many breakups as she did. That was a rude joke. (One Alyssa wouldn’t dare make. She was more cultured than the media asshats that chased your team around).

“Woman’s efficient,” Alyssa shrugged. “No reason why you can't recycle the same emotion into a different song genre.”

“At least she could make millions off her pain. All I seem to be able to do is kick the ball harder,” You grumbled. Your landlord complained about you practicing in the street because of how hard you sent the ball careening into his precious brick wall. It wasn’t your fault Alyssa was too slow to stop the PK.

“Darling, considering you’re one of the strongest kickers on the east coast, I’d say that pain is going to a worthwhile cause. But you do kind of have the worst taste in relationships.”

“Hey! Savannah wasn’t a bad choice, just bad timing,” You huffed indignantly.

“So that would be one out of…. How many bad relationships?”

“At least one for every Taylor Swift album,”

“Okay, here’s a fun idea, choose an ex for each album,” Alyssa said brightly. Thinking about music would definitely cheer you up. “Wannabe soccer star is obviously your Joe, so represents the Fearless album. Which relationship is your… Drew?”

“You already know the answer to that question,” you said, already picking up your phone to add Teardrops on my Guitar to the music queue. You then quickly added Forever and Always and started scrolling through Speak Now for the next song inspiration.

Alyssa nodded. It was a well-known fact that you had a massive crush on one Hope Solo growing up, and you had been absolutely enamored with her the second you set foot into camp. But Alyssa also knew that Hope was very faithful to a certain veteran.

The veteran keeper had tried to let you down easy, and Kelley was still one of your best friends, but it had hurt in the moment.

“Kristie was my Haunted,” you said, smiling slightly. Dating her felt like a whirlwind, one that took your breath until you never thought it would end. She made butterflies flutter in your stomach, and you were so desperate to say the right thing, to be the perfect partner, that you always felt like you were walking a tightrope. Floating on air, but desperate to keep your balance. “At least she had the decency to wait until we were in the same city to end it.”

“Aren’t the two of you friends now?” Alyssa looked down at you, watching as you scrolled through songs from your comfortable place on her chest.

You nodded with a small smile. “Hmm, we are much better off that way anyway.”

“I bet you I can guess who your We are Never Ever Getting Back Together person is,” Alyssa trilled, reaching down to take the phone.

You playfully snatched it away from her. “Who’s to say I wasn’t going to choose I knew you were trouble?” You raised your eyebrow at the woman, who simply smirked in response.

“I can tell you who that is too if you like,” Alyssa reached for her own phone and took over control of the speakers, adding both songs to the music queue.

“Alright, I’ll bite. Who?”

“You definitely knew Sam Kerr was trouble, and I think it took you 4 breakups with Leah to finally call it quits,”

“I was going to say Leah for 1989, it took me forever to realize how fucked up our relationship was after we finally broke up,”

“I’m sure the distance didn’t help.” With her in London and you in Chicago things just kind of fell apart.

“Maybe,” you hummed, noncommittally.

“Okay, so for Reputation. I’m thinking Don’t Blame Me,”

“You did go a bit crazy for Jane…” Alyssa said with a roll of her eyes. You had almost moved to Houston for that girl, thank god you didn’t. You sunburned like nobody's business.

“Oh come on. You just didn’t like the idea of me moving. And considering how long we had been dating at that point it did make sense!” You argued.

“It was 3 months Y/n,” She deadpanned.

“I was in a wlw relationship. That’s like practically three years, it’s not like I brought a u-haul to our first date.”

Alyssa quirked an eyebrow up at you. “Didn’t you have one of those the first time we met?”

“Yeah, because I wasn’t moving into my college apartment without any furniture!”

“Whatever you say, babe. Who's your Folklore?” She rolled her eyes goodnaturedly.

“I think you skipped an album,” you said. This was weird because Lover was one of Alyssa’s favorite albums. “But, since you asked. I think Kelley is The 1.”

“Ah, our favorite squirrel,” Alyssa’s lips ticked up. You and Kelley had dated in college (something that should have made her jealous), but Kelley was the one pushing her to admit her feelings now.

“We were just too young and dumb,” you said, smiling. “We had a great time together, and it would have been fun if it worked out. But at some point we just realized, we were friends, but there wasn’t anything romantic there.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” Alyssa said, like a liar.

“I’m not. Her and Emily are like made for each other,” You snorted with the shake of your head. “And at least she wasn’t afraid of the world knowing we were together,”

“Well, yeah,” Alyssa smiled. She had loved seeing the way being publicly out with Kelley had brought out the best of you. “ Okay moving on! Next, we need to narrow down your No body, No Crime.”

“I take offense. Alex is still alive, so that doesn’t count,” You huffed.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding. I know you didn’t kill any of your significant others,” Alyssa said, laughing. “Though if you listened to the song you would know that’s my job… ”

“Alex was my Champagne Problems,” You mumbled sadly. That relationship had been the hardest for you, as had the breakup. She was terrified of the world even suspecting she wasn’t straight.

You had everything, except the freedom to be yourself, and In the end, you couldn’t take the hiding anymore.

“You did your best, love. But people come out at their own pace. And it was before Obergfell v. Hodges was decided. Being queer was still more likely to be presented as a scandal in the media then.”

“She cheated on me with Serv. She doesn’t get a pass,” You grumbled, crossing your arms.

“I’m pretty sure you were on a break dear,” Alyssa said, though she was inclined to agree with you. Being on a ‘break’ but not officially breaking up didn’t seem like a reason to start dating other people. Still getting over some of the semantics might theoretically help you move on. “BUT maybe we should move on. Who is your Lover?”

Your eyes squinted thoughtfully, a light pink shading your cheeks. “The only person who hasn’t ever left me is you. You let me leave the Christmas lights up until May and dance around the kitchen when you cook.”

Alyssa looked away, not able to meet your eyes. ”I mean, the lights can change color, so they can be thematic all year. And you’re the one who chooses the music to listen to while I cook. I can’t help it if they’re all great for dancing.”

“You can dance to anything. I’m pretty sure you turned a Hosier song into a salsa dance last week.” You giggled.

“The only person I dance with is you, Y/n,” Alyssa said, finally meeting your eyes. She could feel her body start shaking slightly, as the adrenaline kicked in. She was going to do it. She was going to tell you. “I don’t want to dance if I’m not dancing with you.”

“I’d dance with you in a storm in my best dress,”

“I have tried so hard to be supportive about your last several relationships. But seeing you dancing to your favorite song with anyone else… I’ve loved you for three years now and I couldn’t bear it.”

The air was suddenly charged between you, and you realized your faces were just inches apart. It was hard to breathe. You never dreamed your best friend would return your feelings (maybe that’s why you had so many bad relationships).

“Kiss me,” you breathed, slowly moving around so your heads were at the same level.

“That’s not a Taylor swift Lyric,” Alyssa said. In her brain, there was a loading sign currently whirring in little circles, as she attempted to process what you just said. Did you mean what she thought you said?

“Baby just say yes,” You said, feeling so happy that tears were coming to your eyes. You leaned forward getting inches from her face, so close you could feel her breath hitch. “Please kiss me.”

“Yes,” was all Alyssa had time to say before she closed the distance and kissed you.

#uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt x reader #alyssa naeher imagine #alyssa naeher x reader

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hansols-yoda-boxers · 3 years

Text

Warming Up

Cat Hybrid!Hongjoong x Female Reader

Word Count: 7518

Contents: hybrid au, rut/mating season, reader is referred to as a girl, lots of plot for no reason other than it was cute, hongjoong is a bit of a dumb little tsun who is easily flustered, dream sex (mirror, pet name (darling), slight degradation (whore), marking), sleepy reader is not the brightest bulb in the box, hongjoong is a tease, first time together, dry humping, sensitive ears, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, cum eating, oral (female receiving), very slight hair pulling

Note: Okay this is a whole 18 DAYS LATE but HAPPY VERY BELATED BIRTHDAY @lustjoong this has been a long time coming. You are such a dream friend and it’s about a year now that we’ve been friends and I’m so happy about that. You bring so much light to my life and I so enjoy each and every word we share. I really hope you enjoy this gift also yes this is why i asked u about cum eating skjjadlhslkdj

Hongjoong’s ears twitched as he listened. He didn’t want to look like he was listening of course. He wanted to look unbothered because he was unbothered. So Seonghwa couldn’t keep him anymore, so what? He had to move, the city was bigger and the apartments were more expensive and he couldn’t afford the space and that was that. So Hongjoong was being dropped on someone else, on you. He didn’t care. If he really wanted to stay with Seonghwa that badly he could have tried out working more but that had never really panned out and a lot of places didn’t wanna hire a cat hybrid anyway.

Seonghwa said he would visit. That was fine. It wasn’t like Hongjoong needed that, he wasn’t a baby. He was a grown adult if he really wanted to strike out on his own he would. It was just easier in this world to live with someone. Seonghwa was nice and they got along well for the most part and he was comfy and familiar. He’d met you a few times but you were new and different and he didn’t really like that. It wasn’t that he was upset or anxious or any of that. It was just different from normal and he didn’t want to have to learn how to live with someone else, that was all.

None of this bothered him.

It was fine.

“I don’t think we forgot anything. I double and triple checked all my boxes to make sure he’d have all his stuff and-”

“Seonghwa,” you hushed him. “It’s fine. It’s not like you’re leaving the country, you’ll just be a couple of hours away. If you forgot anything you can bring it by when you visit, or we can buy new stuff.”

“I know but Hongjoong is… particular. You know I have another day or two on the lease. I could-”

“Seonghwa,” you grabbed his hands, chuckling. “It’s really okay. We’ll be fine. Right, Hongjoong?”

“Huh?” The cat hybrid looked up at you. Apparently he’d been tuning you out.

“We’ll be alright, right?”

“Yeah, whatever.” He muttered. “Can I take my stuff to my room?”

“Sure!” You tried to sound bright but you felt a little unsure. You’d met Hongjoong a handful of times. He seemed a little guarded and he wasn’t the easiest to get to know, but he had always at least been nice to you, pleasant. He seemed a little colder today, he seemed bored but was he really bored? You knew he and Seonghwa were close even if he wouldn’t admit it. Surly he felt something over the whole thing.

“He’s upset,” Seonghwa mumbled once Hongjoong was out of the room.

“Is he? He seems so… bored…”

Seonghwa sighed. “He does that when he’s upset. I know he doesn’t really love this idea but it’s the only option if he doesn’t want to go back to the shelter. And I’m not totally confident he can live on his own at the moment. He doesn’t cook much but when he tries to it always burns and I have to scrub it off the pans.”

“Duly noted,” you mumbled. “No cooking.”

“I think he could learn. And he might be happy if he lived alone but between you and me I think he’d get way too lonely. He won’t act like it at first but he gets really cuddly and sweet when he wants affection. And, oh god I almost forgot.” He dropped his voice, growing quieter. “If you get turned on around him, he’ll be able to smell it.”

“I’m sorry, what?!” You exclaimed.

“Shhh,” Seonghwa hushed you. “If he knows I’m talking about this… But you should know. It’s just a cat thing. It’s not too bad in the summer but in a month or so when fall comes around if you get worked up and he’s in the same room it’ll drive him nuts.”

“W-What does he do? I mean will h-he-”

“He won’t do anything,” Seonghwa said quickly. “He just-” A blush started creeping up his cheeks. “It’s harder for him to get over getting worked up, and he u-usually needs- o-or he uh- it’s good if you- uh- well anyway if it happens with someone else’s scent it just gets to him. And with you being a girl it’ll probably be worse s-so-”

“No watching porn around him, got it,” you said.

Seonghwa’s eyes went wide. “You just watch porn in the open?!”

“No, god no that was a joke,” you laughed. “Look, we’ll be okay. It’s not like I’m horny 24/7 so it’s all good. Besides I’m pretty sure he kinda hates me.”

“He- no he doesn’t. If anything he’s mad at me. You’re fine. Just… give him a chance to warm up to you and this whole thing. I promise you he’s really sweet when you get to know him.”

You glanced warily towards his bedroom. “I’ll take your word for it.”

The first week was, in a word, uneventful. Hongjoong was aloof. You weren’t sure at the moment if that was a cat thing or a Hongjoong thing. So far he hadn’t seemed to warm up to you at all. He barely spoke and spent most of his time in his room, though you did notice that the leftovers in the fridge had noticeable dents and he had left a few items in the bathroom. He was settling in, even if it was just a little bit.

You heard a door open, just barely making out the padding of his feet down the hallway. You didn’t move, listening and watching out for the corner of your eye as you sat on the couch. You saw him slip into the kitchen and listened to the fridge door opening, then closing, then the microwave running. He usually waited until you were out of the living room to get food.

You got up slowly and made your way towards the kitchen, peeking around the corner. Predictably, Hongjoong had heard you. He stood stock still, even as the microwave beeped, the counter reaching zero. The only things that moved were his ears, flicking back and listening to you.

“H-How are you doing?” Your voice was less certain than you wanted it to be.

“Fine,” he said simply.

“That’s good,” you tried to sound bright and happy. “I know this is a bit of an adjustment.”

Hongjoong finally relaxed just a little, opening the microwave, if slowly.

“I’m fine. Seonghwa doesn’t have room in the new place and you do. It makes sense.”

You crossed your arms, leaning against the door frame. “You’re really okay with it all? I know it uprooted a lot for you an-”

“I’m fine.” He said flatly. “It’s not like he kicked me out or told me he hates me. It’s money and space. It’s fine. He’s just a friend anyway.”

“He is? I thought you two were closer o-or…” you words trailed off as Hongjoong’s tail started to flick and a blush crept up his cheeks.

“He was more like a roommate really,” he said defensively. “I’m going to go eat.” Hongjoong took his food as you tried to find something to say, but he clearly didn’t want to talk to you anymore.

You bit down on your lip as he slammed his door shut.

You had done a fantastic job of putting your foot in your mouth.

“Hey.”

You looked up from where you sat on the couch. Hongjoong had barely talked to you in the last two weeks. You weren’t totally sure what you had said that upset you but you had apologized nonetheless. He didn’t respond from within his room at the time but he did start coming out while you were out and he said hello when you did first at least. But it was still unusual for him to talk to you directly.

“Hi,” you said, putting down your phone. “What’s up?”

Hongjoong shrugged, trying to look unbothered but his ears were partially flattened to his head, the tip of his tail flicking. “I just wanted to know if I could sit out here.”

“Of course,” you smiled, scooching over to leave more room on the couch. “Have a seat.”

“You don’t have to stop what you’re doing,” he mumbled, curling into a ball on the far end of the couch.

“Alright,” you hummed, grabbing your phone but keeping your eye on him.

The longer you two sat there the more he relaxed. He let his legs extend on the couch, resting back and idly curling and uncurly his fingers as he watched videos on his phone. You tried not to move around too much, typing on your laptop and checking your phone, getting up and offering him water at one point which he accepted.

But the evening wore on and you found yourself more and more weary over time. Yawns slipped past your lips and it made you giggle when Hongjoong yawned as well, ears pressing back and then coming up, his tail curled comfortably around himself until he heard your giggle, perking up.

“I yawned then you did,” you chuckled. “I don’t know about you but I think I’m ready for bed.”

“O-Oh, yeah,” he mumbled.

You frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Hongjoong’s cheeks started to blush pink. “Nothing, nothing’s wrong. You’re right it’s late I-”

“Hongjoong,” you said gently. “I know we’re not close or anything but you know you can tell me if you have an issue, especially with things to do with living here. It is my responsibility to deal with it.”

“It’s stupid,” he said, standing up. “I’m going to go wash up-”

“I was talking to Seonghwa,” you said quickly. “He said you’re not used to spending this much time alone.”

“What does he know,” Hongjoong said quickly. “It’s not lik-”

“Hongjoong,” you cut him off. “I know you probably don’t wanna say it but just so you know, it’s okay if you’re lonely. I won’t make fun of you for that.”

Hongjoong’s face was cherry red. “I-I’m not!?!”

“I-” You sighed. “It’s just- If you get lonely, it’s okay. That’s all.”

“Yeah, whatever,” he muttered, stalking back to the bedroom as you buried your face in your hands. You swore every time you tried to make him more comfortable you made it ten times worse.

You let Hongjoong finish in the bathroom, hearing his door slam before you got ready for bed. Part of you thought of asking Seonghwa what to do but you didn’t want to make him feel bad about the whole thing. You knew he already felt bad about not being able to stay with Hongjoong. You dragged yourself through your evening routine, finally flopping into bed and finding yourself restless and unable to really sleep.

Were you ever going to be able to be able to get to know him without saying something dumb? He barely talked to you and you messed it up every time he did get comfy. You were worried that he hated it here or he hated you and for a few hours things had been good. There had to be a way to get to know him and get him more comfortable.

A knock at your door had you sitting up suddenly in bed.

“Come in,” you called.

Hongjoong poked his head in. “Can I sleep here?”

You stared at him in surprise, taking a few moments to take in his request before realizing he was blushing more and more as he waited for your response.

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

Hongjoong mumbled out a “thanks” as he shuffled into the room, closing the door behind him. He cautiously climbed into the other side of the bed and rolled to face away from you. You tried to shake off your shock as you laid back down.

“Well, good night.”

“You were right,” he mumbled.

You looked over at his back. “Huh?”

“I get lonely, sometimes.”

A smile tugged to your lips. “Yeah, me too.”

“Hey Hongjoong?” You queried, looking up from your book. Hongjoong’s ears perked up even if he didn’t look up. You’d learned that he did that a lot, it was his way of showing he was listening to you, turning his ears in your direction. More and more you had been talking with him. He was getting more comfy with you as the weeks went by and it was finally starting to feel like you were friends.

“Do you do random cat things?”

His head flicked up to look at you from his spot on the couch. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I noticed when you’re really sleepy you do that thing that cats do where they curl in their little toes and then stretch them out. You do it with your hands.” You kept going as the blush rushed up Hongjoong’s cheeks. “Do you do other stuff like that? Like do you play with yarn? Do you run after laser pointers? Do you get up and run around at 3am and I just never hear you? Can you meow?”

“I- I don’t do that with my hands!?!” He said indignantly.

You giggled. “You do, and it’s cute. Don’t worry I’ve only seen it a couple of times. But I wanna know if you do other things like that.”

“N-No?!”

“Okay,” you hummed, a smirk pulling at your lips.

“Why are you grinning?! Stop grinning!” He cried.

“No reason,” you said, tossing out a ball of yarn from where you were hiding it next to you.

“I’m not gonna play with that.” Hongjoong deadpanned. “I’m still a person you know.”

“I know,” you said, still grinning. “But there’s no temptation at all?”

“None.”

“Okaie dokie.” You grabbed the laser pointer from the pocket and shone it against the wall.

“I’m not gonna chase it!” He cried.

“Then it won’t bother you if I leave it on.”

Hongjoong looked between you and the laser shining on the wall before huffing and burying himself in his phone again. But his eye kept darting to the wall, his tail flicking and body shifting. After a few minutes he got up and moved to sit next to it against the wall. You grinned as he flicked at the spot and tried to grab it.

“I knew it!” You laughed, turning off the laser. Hongjoong hissed at you as he moved back to the couch.

“I wasn’t chasing it. I know it’s just a light. It’s just annoying I just did that to make you turn it off.”

“Of course you did,” you hummed. “Hey, can you purr?”

He gave you a glare. “I’m not purring for you, especially when you’re being so annoying.”

“So you can purr,” you grinned. “Who do you purr for?”

“N-No one,” he stumbled, blushing again. “It’s barely even a thing.”

You regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. “Can I try?”

“Try and what?”

“Make you purr.”

Hongjoong’s face went red. “W-Why would you want to?”

“I just wanna hear it,” you said. “I like when cats purr, I wanna know what it sounds like. I mean if you’re all embarrassed about it that’s okay.”

“I-I’m not embarrassed,” he hissed. “It’s just a thing cats do. Why would it embarrass me?”

“It’s okay Hongjoong,” you said, trying not to grin. “I get it, it makes you flustered.”

“N-No? I-If you wanna try whatever. If you figure it out yay for you I guess.”

You clambered across the couch gleefully. The blush stayed on Hongjoong’s cheeks as you pulled him closer while he played with his phone and started playing with his hair. He did his best to ignore you but you could tell from the way his tail swayed that he liked the contact. You relaxed, running your fingers through his hair and petting his head.

A light touch on his ear had it flicking forward and had him jumping and letting out a yelp. You pulled you hand back quickly as he twisted to look at you.

“Your ears are so soft,” you hummed.

“Yeah w-well,” he mumbled. “They’re sensitive, so be careful.”

“I will,” you said, “Of course I will.” You let your hand come out to play with his hair again, waiting for him to relax before you found the base of his ear and scratched at it.

Hongjoong let out a “mreow” and a deep rumble started to emanate from his chest.

His hand was quick to push yours away as you gasped and he crawled back the corner of the couch.

“There, you heard it. Happy now?”

“Yes,” you smiled. “Thanks for showing me.”

Hongjoong blushed harder as he hid behind his phone. “Yeah yeah whatever.”

Hongjoong sleeping in your bed had become a regular occurrence. As the weather started to cool and fall set in he was there more and more. Since the first week, asking each night if he could sleep in the same room, and then just slipping in quietly. He talked to you more and seemed a little more relaxed around you and that made you happy.

Tonight you smiled to yourself when you found him already curled up under the sheets. You weren’t surprised, he’d gone out with friends during the day and seemed exhausted and maybe a little tipsy when he got back. Him getting to bed early wasn’t too surprising. When he first moved in you thought he stayed up late in his room but it turned out he went to bed early and slept in late.

You climbed into bed quietly, noticing his ears and nose twitching. It didn’t matter how quietly you moved his senses were too good. He stirred slightly and you tried to settle in smoothly and quickly so he could get back to sleep.

Hongjoong mumbled something you couldn’t make out. When you turned your face to look at him he was reaching out towards you. His hands were making grabbing motions and you couldn’t help the smile on your face. You had only seen him do it a few times but when he was half asleep, his hands kneading the air like cat’s paws.

“Cuddles,” a pout formed on Hongjoong’s lips as he mumbled and you felt heat rise in your face as you realized what he was asking.

“Hongjoong?” You asked softly. He grumbled again, tail flicking and hands grabbing at the air as he sleepily opened an eye.

“Cuddles,” he grumbled, clearly still half asleep.

“A-Alright,” you stumbled, shifting closer to him. As soon as you were within reach he wrapped himself around you, nuzzling his face into your neck.

“Warm,” he purred sleepily.

“Very warm,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around him. “Goodnight.”

All you got in response was the loud rumbling purr emanating from Hongjoong’s chest as you settled and drifted off into a dream.

Hot breath fanned out against your ear and your fingers pressed into the cool glass of the mirror. Hongjoong’s hips snapped into yours quickly, building the pleasure in your core. You felt his wet fingers move from their ministrations on your clit and seconds later they gripped your jaw firmly.

Your eyes snapped open and you felt heat rush to your face as took in his intense gaze, meeting yours in the mirror.

“Keep those pretty eyes open, darling,” he purred. “You look so pretty when I fuck you like this.”

You whimpered, feeling shy and all the more turned on as you tried to look away but he kept your gaze trained at the sight of yourself getting fucking against the mirror.

“If you’re good, I’ll let you have my fingers in your mouth, just the way you want my pretty little whore.”

You let your eyes trail over yourself, heat rising through your body at the sight, his arm around you and his cock sinking into your heat over and over, sending a wave of pleasure through you each time. You took in the sight of the hickies all across your chest and felt the way he smirked against the skin of your neck as you clenched around him at the sight of yourself.

His fingers came to your lips and you sucked them in eagerly, head feeling even more hazy as you did so.

“Good girl,” he murmured.

You woke up feeling very warm. Your eyes blinked open blearily and you felt the soft ear flicking against your chin. Slowly, the memories of the night, and then your dream, trickled into your brain as Hongjoong came into your sleepy view. He seemed to be sleeping soundly, ears and nose twitching as he clung onto you, apparently having cuddled with you all night.

You let your hand rub his back slowly as you closed your eyes again. Maybe it was being so close to someone so warm and feeling someone next to you but your dreams had been anything but innocent. Could you fall back asleep? It would be so nice to sink back into those wonderful, heated images. A quiet sigh passed your lips as you pressed your thighs together, enjoying the feeling of Hongjoong’s weight and warmth on top of you and running through the images from the dream in your mind.

Slowly, Hongjoong started to stir. You let your hand travel up to his hair and run though it. The action was calming for you and you hoped in your sleepy brain that it woke him gently as his ears and tail started to twitch and flick more. His hands grabbed onto your shirt and he pressed his face into your neck as he woke, a quiet mew leaving his lips and quiet purrs emanating from his chest as he came too.

“Morning,” you hummed sleepily. Hongjoong answered with a groan, pressing tightly against you. You scratched at the base of his ear, and heard his purring grow louder. His hand found your hip, thumb slipping under your shirt and rubbing your skin soothingly. This wasn’t his usual behaviour, but you were sleepy and warm and it was so comforting to cuddle someone, especially someone who made such a wonderful, calming purring sound.

“What did you dream about?” Hongjoong’s voice was rough as the words left his lips, ghosting over the skin of your neck. The sounds sent a rush of arousal through your body. You felt heat rise to your skin as the images flashed on the back of your eyelids.

“I don’t remember,” you lied.

Hongjoong nuzzled his nose against your neck. “Are you sure about that?”

Did he know? Was your skin too hot? Did you moan in your sleep and somehow give it away? He couldn’t read your mind but he wasn’t buying it so he had to have some hint. You squirmed a little, pressing your thighs further together and trying to keep your breathing even.

“Nope,” you hummed, a little too high. You knew it sounded like you were lying now.

Hongjoong purred a little louder, lips trailing over the skin of your neck and up to your jaw. “I don’t believe you.”

“W-Why not?” Your voice started to betray you.

“Come on,” he purred. “I know Seonghwa told you about it. He doesn’t realize how good my ears actually are.”

You tried to reach back through your groggy memories, your brain was still sleepy and didn’t want to work too hard. But he knew something, what had Seonghwa told you that would explain this? You knew there had to be something but your sleepy brain didn’t want to think or try to remember. Meanwhile the way he was gripping your hip and running his nose along your neck was only turning you on more.

“Did you forget?” His voice was not helping matters and you pressed your legs together again as another shiver of arousal ran through your body. Hongjoong let out a groan, ear flicking against your jaw and tail swishing across the covers. “Or are you playing dumb?”

You felt your face getting even hotter. You weren’t play dumb, at least not on purpose. Your brain was being taken over with lust and was already sleepy. A small squeal left your lips as Hongjoong shifted over you, his thigh pressing between your legs. His hands found yours and he laced his fingers with yours before pressing your hands into the bed. Your gaze met his and you finally took in the hunger and lust in his eyes.

“You know I can smell it, right?”

Heat rushed through your body and to your face as you realized. The embarrassment washed through you and yet, you still only felt more turned on. You tried to press your legs together again, ending up squeezing them around Hongjoong’s thigh as you finally tore your gaze away from his.

“I-I forgot,” you mumbled, squirming under him. The way his fingers were laced with yours was so sweet but the way he held them down was only making you feel hotter. Hongjoong let his head dip, purring and nuzzling his face into your neck before pressing a soft kiss to your skin.

“This is going to drive me nuts,” he murmured. “But I can leave you alone.” Your brain tried desperately to process everything through the ever increasing lust cloud but your body had a mind of its own. As Hongjoong started to pull back you squeezed his hands, not letting them go. He gave you a curious look, the ghost of a smirk on his lips.

“Do you want me to stay?”

You felt your face burning but you tried to let your words out before your brain caught up to them potentially being a bad idea. “I-I- You could? I-I mean I’m- um- and Seonghwa s-said you- it- that it’s harder i-if…”

A blush crept up Hongjoong’s cheeks and his tail flicked as his gaze dipped away from yours and he squirmed a little. “R-Right. Yeah it- uh- it’ll be a long day if I-” He shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. If that’s that only reason-”

“It’s not.” The words were just on their way out of your mouth on their own now. Hongjoong’s ears perked up and a smirk tugged at his lips.

“Did you dream about me?” He teased.

“N-No?!” You stuttered. “I-I- it was just- you- but- n-n-”

Hongjoong chuckled, pressing closer to you again, the tip of his nose pressed to yours. He was supposed to be the needy one, how was he making you flustered so fast?

“I think you did,” he murmured.

“I-I-”

“You can tell me. Don’t you think I should know if my roommate is having dirty dreams about me?” He teased.

“I-I It wasn’t- Why w-would I-” the heat on your body only rose as he moved, lips trailing lightly over your jaw before brushing against your ear.

“I mean if it wasn’t about me then I could just go,” he murmured. “I can leave you alone to get back to your dream world… if you don’t want the real thing.” He pulled his hands away from yours.

You gripped Hongjoong’s shirt strongly and whined at him. You heard his breathy chuckle in your ear as you pulled him a little closer, not wanting him to go but not wanting to admit that you wanted him to stay. You squeezed your eyes shut, only getting more embarrassed by your actions and more turned on at the same time.

“D-Don’t…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say what you wanted. A much louder whine tore itself from your lips as Hongjoong sat up, resting back on his heels. He smirked down at you, tail flicking curiously as he let his hands trail down your sides, moving them out of reach of yours when you tried to grab at them. You jutted out your bottom lip at him and he chuckled.

“If you want something you have to ask,” he teased. “Otherwise how will I know?”

The way the frustration twisted your gut somehow only turned you on even more. You squirmed a little under his gaze, trying to decide if you actually wanted to say anything while knowing full well that you didn’t want him to go anywhere, and if you said nothing he might just actually leave.

You reached out to him cutely. “Please?”

“Please, what?” He grinned.

Heat licked at your skin. “P-Please stay. I don’t…” your own embarrassment was trying to get the better of you and dropped your gaze from his as you trailed off. Hongjoong leaned down swiftly and started to leave kisses against your jaw, hands finding your waist.

“You don’t…?” he murmured.

“I-I don’t- I don’t want you to go,” you mumbled, arms wrapping around him.

Hongjoong lifted his face just enough to look at you, but his expression was sweeter, less smug. “Then I won’t go, I’d rather stay anyway.”

He finally leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips. Your heart melted a little at how soft his kisses were. He was gentle in bringing his hips down against yours, rolling them slowly. You let out a little sigh against his lips, pulling him closer and letting your fingers play through his hair slowly. You would think by now you would be wide awake, but you still felt sleepy and his warmth and weight on top of you felt so nice.

Hongjoong slowly deepened the kisses, his tongue pressing cautiously against your bottom lip before moving into your mouth. You pulled him in even closer, one of your legs wrapping around him of its own accord. Hongjoong let out a small mewl which had your lips tugging into a grin as you tried not to giggle at him.

His hips ground down a little more strongly as your fingers moved through his hair. You brought them to the base of his ear and rubbed them gently, feeling the soft fur under your fingers.

Hongjoong let out whiny meow as he shuddered, dropping his face down against your neck. You grinned to yourself, still playing with him and feeling him squirm, his hips bucking against you as he tried to hold in his mewls, eventually flicking his ear away from your touch.

“Th-They’re sensitive,” he panted.

“I know,” you hummed. “Does it feel good?”

Hongjoong whined in response, keeping his face hidden against your skin. He cautiously flicked his ear back to find your hand again and you grinned, petting and scratching at the base of his ear again. He did his best to muffle his sounds against your skin, shifting so he was fully between your legs and rutting into you more quickly.

Soft sighs fell from your own lips. You were getting needier by the second and you knew now that he could smell it. Your hips tried to roll and grind up to meet his movements, fingers moving a little faster and his own hips getting a little more sporadic. His whines were growing louder despite his effort until he flicked his ear away again, lifting his head to look at you. His face was all flushed, a cute rose tint on his cheeks.

“Can we- c-can I?”

“N-Not right away!” You stammered, internally wincing at how that would hurt.

Hongjoong went redder. “I know that,” he mumbled. “But can I- we- move on?”

You grinned a little shyly and nodded. From Seonghwa’s warning you were aware this could happen but you had somehow not really considered it until now. Somewhere in your mind you thought you would simply never get horny all winter and that would be the solution, not that you knew he was going to sleep in your bed or cuddle with you but still.

It was ever so slightly nerve wracking.

Hongjoong pressed kisses to your neck sweetly as his fingers found the waistband of your pajamas. You lifted your hips a little and let him pull them off along with your panties, pressing the side of your face into your pillow as your cheeks burned again until you felt Hongjoong’s lips on your jaw, coaxing you to turn your mouth towards him.

You did so slowly, letting his lips meet yours in much needier kisses. Still, his fingers were gentle as they trailed over your lower stomach and to the tops of your thighs. Slowly he coaxed your thighs apart with his fingers, rubbing soothing circles into your skin as he went, moving along the sensitive skin until you started you push your hips up towards his hand. You felt him smile against your lips.

“Do you want more?” He asked, his tone mostly sweet but a little teasing.

“Hongjoong,” you whined and he chuckled, dropping his lips next to your ear again.

“I already admitted I want more,” this time his tone was much more sweet, almost bashful.

“Yes,” you mumbled quietly, “I-I want more.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips while his fingers finally moved where you wanted them, rubbing circles into your clit slowly. You moaned quietly into his kisses as your hips followed the flow of his fingers. Your arms wound around him, fingers tangling into his hair and holding him close as you kissed him and his ministrations only made you wetter.

The pleasure started to slowly build in your core. The grinding hadn’t been nearly enough friction and the movements of his fingers were much more welcome. Pleasure sparked from your core and curled through you, drawing heat through your body that had your kisses growing more feverish bit by bit.

Hongjoong kept shifting and moving, eventually starting to shift your thighs apart a little more. His lips drew away from yours but before you could look at him he dropped his face into your neck, though what you could see of the edges of his face was blushing.

“Can I grind against your thigh?” He mumbled quietly, fingers slowing down a little.

You let out a slight giggle. “Weren’t you already grinding on me?”

“Y-Yeah? I just- it…” You heard the confidence waver in his voice and you were quick to grab his cheeks and bring his face up to meet yours.

“Yes, you can,” you hummed before giving him a kiss and keeping him there. His skin was hot to the touch, no doubt from the blushing and it made you smile a little. It felt kind of nice to know you weren’t alone in the slight nerves you were feeling, even if excitement did override it. Hongjoong started to relax into your touch again. You heard his tail swishing against the sheets as his hips came down, rutting against your thigh.

Small mewls and moans fell from his lips, swallowed by your kisses as his hand traveled lower. Your legs opened wider instinctively as his fingers teased at your entrance, fingers tangled into his hair telling him you wanted more so your words didn’t have to. Your hips pressed up towards his hand, urging his fingers to dip inside you and you were a little thankful that he didn’t tease you and make you even more flustered.

A moan that you couldn’t muffle, even with kisses, fell from your lips as he sunk two fingers into your heat. Your hips rolled up against his fingers, urging them deeper as you tried to capture his lips in another kiss but he pulled back just a bit. When you opened your eyes you felt heat rush through your body and clenched around his fingers at the heated expression on his face.

Hongjoong bit down on his lower lip as he started to move his fingers. The movements themselves were a little sloppy and unsure but you were too wrapped up in the darkening of his gaze and the feeling of finally having something inside of your needy core to care. You felt your skin burning as he gazed at you, at once wanting to look away and wanting to keep watching him, taking in the way his eyes devoured your expression and watched your features start to twist in pleasure.

His hips moved more roughly against your thigh, almost as if chasing his own high as he curled and thrust his fingers into you. He was a quick learner, ears perking and twitching every time you moaned louder and trying to repeat the action as the pleasure grew inside of you.

His fingers moved a little faster and you felt your hips starting to buck up into his hand more, your body begging for more all on it’s own. He only slowed down a little to press a third finger in, stretching you out even more and quickly finding that heavenly spot inside of you to curl his fingers into again.

Your head fell back as the coil in your core twisted tighter and you got closer and closer to your release. You tried in vain to get his hand against your clit as well, growing more and more desperate for just that little bit more. Moans fell from your lips with less and less abashment every passing second. Your hands had fallen away from his body and were gripping the pillow under your head as your hips jolted and bucked up, chasing the sensation of his fingers and starting to clench around them more and more.

Hongjoong cursed under his breath and pulled his fingers from your core. It drew a whine from your lips as you blinked your eyes open to see Hongjoong sitting up. He slipped his fingers into his mouth and groaned, his eyes rolling back before closing as he started to shuffle out of his sweats with his other hand.

You held in your whines as you watched him, only feeling more heated at the sight as he licked and sucked your juices from his fingers. Your bottom lip caught between your teeth and you squirmed impatiently, wanting more with no desire to wait.

“Hongjoong,” you whimpered. his ears flicked towards you and you lost the words that were ready to leap off your tongue as he opened his eyes slowly, pure lust filling his gaze. A gasp left your lips as he pounced over you, gaze drinking you in. You pressed back into the mattress, feeling yourself dripping and clenching around nothing as his hands pulled at your shirt to get it off.

He dipped his head down and dragged his nose along the skin of your neck, breathing in deeply before letting out a groan. He shifted only to pull off his own shirt before settling between your legs. You let your head tilt back as he kissed slowly along your neck, hands coming up and fingers lacing with yours as you rolled his hips against you slowly and you let out a shaky breath.

Hongjoong’s lips came up to brush against yours. “Please,” he moaned, his tail flicking in the edges of your vision.

You nodded as he pulled his face back just enough to look at you. One hand left yours, moving between your bodies. He kept his eyes on you and you felt your face burn as he pushed into you slowly, drawing a gasp from your lips. You felt your eyelids flutter but kept your gaze on him as he moved slowly, sinking deeper into you, panting harder than you were.

His hand came back to yours, fingers lacing with yours again as he rolled his hips in a slow, deep thrust. Your eyes fell closed as you let out a moan and Hongjoong’s face fell to your chest, ears tickling your chin. He let out low groans as he moved his hips, picking up speed more and more until he built to a steady pace.

Your moans mixed with his own noises in the hot air as the pleasure built more and more, bringing you to your edge but not quite falling over it. You felt the coil in your core curled incredibly tight, pleasure rushing through you from each thrust. Your hips moved with his as best they could as you gripped at his back and tried to hold him closer.

Small curses fell off Hongjoong’s lips as he moved even faster, starting to chase his own high as his lips kissed feverishly at your neck. Gasps and moans fell from your own lips and your legs tightened around his sides from the feelings, each wave of pleasure and the way he sucked harshly on your neck, leaving dark marks blossoming along your skin.

“Y-You feel s-so good,” his voice was unsteady and rough as he spoke as he came so close to being unravelled.

You answered him with moans and digging your fingers into his back, pulling him as close as you could. A series of “please” fell from your lips, your mind only focused on falling over that edge as you started to clench around him, thighs shaking.

Hongjoong let out a loud, beautiful mewl as he came, hips starting to a stop, much to your needy body’s chagrin. You clenched around him as he released inside you, his body trembling and his hands squeezing yours as he panted. You slowly caught your breath as he finished, his face coming up to meet yours and a puzzled expression coming over his when he saw your frown.

“What…” colour rushed to his face as he realized and he quickly hid his face again.

“I’m sorry,” he whined.

“It’s okay,” you sighed, pushing down your slight annoyance. “I can just-”

“N-No!” His face snapped up to look at yours but he winced at his own tone. “I-I mean- let me… please?”

A smile tugged at your lips as you nodded to him. Hongjoong pulled out of you gently and his hands left yours as he started to kiss down your body. You met his gaze and found sweetness in his eyes, tail swishing as he kissed over your stomach and to your hips before settling between your legs. His lips found your thighs and the purring rumbling from his chest calmed you as he pressed kisses to your skin.

He bit his lip when he pulled back for a moment, looking at your core. You could feel his cum leaking out of you and heat rose through your body as he stared before he quietly murmured. “That’s so hot,” more to himself than you.

His tongue peeked out and he left a little lick along your core, and then another, each time gathering some of his own cum on his tongue. The licks each made you gasp, your body so sensitive, thighs already trembling and core clenching and pushing out more cum with each lick.

Hongjoong moaned against your core, tongue curling into your heat more feverishly, taking in your juices mixing with his cum on his tongue. Your hand found a way to his hair and he gave you a sweet gaze as he lapped at you, not wanting to waste a drop. His hands gripped your thighs and you let out moans and shuddering breaths with each movement of his tongue.

Your eyelids grew heavy and your gaze hazy as you got so close to your release again. Your thighs pressed around his head as much as his hands would allow as pleasure tied tight in your core. Your grip in his hair got stronger as you held him against your core, “pleases” falling off your lips.

Hongjoong’s ears twitched against your hand, intently listening to your moans as his tongue dragged up over your clit. He started to lick at it quickly, drawing gasps from you as your hips started to buck up and he moved his arm to hold them down. Moans fell off his lips and vibrated through your core as his tongue moved quickly, finally drawing you over your edge.

You cried out, back arching off the bed as you came hard. Your thighs fully crashed in around his head and he let out a slight whimper at the way you pulled on his hair as the pleasure crashed through your body. You felt the sensation rush through you from your core to the tips of your fingers and toes as the feeling sucked you into calm bliss.

Hongjoong moved out from between your legs. He wiped his chin off before crawling on top of you and resting his head on your chest, the loudest purr you’d ever heard from him coming from his chest. He nuzzled his cheek into your skin as his ears flicked affectionately against your chin.

“Thanks,” he mumbled.

You giggled. “I’m the one who woke up all horny and made you horny.”

“Yeah but it’s not like you had to- w-well anyway- that was nice-”

“It sounds like it,” you rubbed your fingers in a small circle on his back over where his purr was coming from and he hid his face in your neck.

“Don’t make fun of my purring,” he whined.

“I’m not,” you chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’m really not. It sounds so nice. So comforting.” A yawn left your lips.

“Do you want to nap for a bit?” He mumbled, sounding hopeful.

“Yes please,” you murmured.

#omg im sorry this is so late #it got too long #i really hope u like it uwu #ateez smut #ateez imagines #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong smut #kim hongjoong imagines #kim hongjoong smut #also i hope you all like this #its been a while since i posted

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