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#and also the fact i can't like.  add onto this at all cuz to my parents i'm so.  clueless that if i reveal any of this-
wrecking · 2 years
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genuinely just want to lay in bed and cry all the time as of late but you know i can’t just like Do that so i need to find some form of outlet for this
edit: i did not expect the tags to be this long, sorry for that
#d#haven't felt this consistently bad in a long time#idk what it is specifically like if it's the college thing or the injury thing or the Me Suffering Mentally thing or all 3#as time has gone on since i finished high school i've always kinda struggled imagining .  any sort of future for myself at all#i feel like i'm coming to the realization that i'm not really ever going to be not codependent just because i'm so Like This#and like that's fine in my head but i know everyone else is going to hate it all the time and also hate me for it#and it just makes me so.  why can't i have been born into a family that actually listens to me or respects me#why can't i get out either.  at least without tearing this whole family apart#not like it matters much to me cuz i've always felt like a stranger but i know it'd destroy them#but also all of this ^^^ shouldn't even fucking MATTER right now because i'm struggling enough with college prep and trying to cope#esp with the 15000000 doctor's visits and health scares and everyone insisting i have to uproot every aspect of my current routine#for whatever god damn reason (some valid some not) so i'm just constantly uneasy and uncomfortable and i feel like i'm getting more unstable#it's frustrating watching my parents seem cordially concerned about my health or my college status or something#but anytime it's not what they want to hear or i disagree with them about something it's immediately back to them treating me horribly#and also the fact i can't like.  add onto this at all cuz to my parents i'm so.  clueless that if i reveal any of this-#i will spend the next 100000 years fighting for anything i say to be seen legitimately regarding anything at all.#like i can't change anything without fighting like hell but i also can't stay the same so it feels like i'm losing all my agency#and being forced into things i'm either not ready for or don't want#but i can't oppose or speak out or ask for anything else because either i'm ungrateful or too naive to be involved in the conversation#i feel like i'm being excluded from the conversation if you will about my entire life.  everything about me i find out after everyone else#god sorry i ranted in the tags tonight.  gonna just post this and delete it in a few hours :zany:
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liveontelevision · 6 days
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TV!
(Hazbin Hotel OC/Sona!)
This is TV! TV is a nickname (cuz it's similar to my real name) and I haven't decided on a full name just yet. Here's her backstory and some other info!
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She started as a Hellaverse Persona, but as I went on with the design, I wanted to give her a more unique backstory that's only mildly inspired by my personal life.
She's been through hella conceptual changes i'll probably post a lil' timeline of her progress as a character at some point :)
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Life:
TV was forced into adulthood from a young age. Her parents kicked her out or she may have lost them in some tragic accident, but to add to that she really had no extended family she could contact. She immediately found work locally and didn't return to school to maintain a somewhat livable wage.
Looking back, she always felt like some higher power cursed her. After her hometown had caught onto the fact that she was a 14-year-old lying about her age, who was also working multiple jobs that she really wasn't meant to, she just kept going.
Her next move was to do it all again the next town over. Means of travel really just boiled down to using spare change for buses or walking. My god, she walked everywhere, the poor thing. Rain or Shine. Essentially living on the streets, finding a new place to sleep every night, she managed to abuse this horrid cycle. It took a while, but she did manage to support herself enough to stay put in a small town for a while. Finally settling into a routine, she lived in a cardboard box of an apartment. But hey, it's the first time she's slept on a mattress in years. She also got a waitress job at a retro 50s-style diner. And no matter how frilly the uniform or how short the skirt, she was smart enough to milk every last dime out of her tables. This usually involved letting gentlemen getting a little too handsy, but hey. She had bills to pay. She got used to the constant flirting and finally achieved a more regular routine, but her mind was still broken. She went through phases of depression, having days where she simply couldn't leave her bed, or refused to return home. When she tried to recall what went on during that day, it was simply TV static in her memories, as if she just went into autopilot. These didn't happen often after she got into an average lifestyle, but this ended up being her downfall. Just a few days before her 20th birthday, she took her own life.
(TW: Self Harm/Suicide Depicted)
After a long day of handsy customers, who didn't really tip as well as they should, TV dropped to the floor of her studio apartment, her back against the door. She receded into the same apartment that's getting a rent increase she simply can't afford.
She avoided looking into the mirror as much as she could. Every time it happened, she would get sucked in, her eyes scanning over every flaw. Her bags under her eyes and the large coffee stain down her apron. Her shoes that were nearly worn through and her hair that reeked of cheap coffee and bacon. Tonight, coming home to another red envelope taped to her door, she couldn't mask the exhaustion any longer. Finally managing to rise to her feet, she went on and plopped her purse down onto the counter, rummaging inside and looking for who knows what. She lets out a yelp and slowly pulls out the knife from the kitchen's diner that you had grabbed at some point. When did she grab that? She tried to recall her shift that she just finished, but she must've gone into static mode, again. What made her think she needed this knife? She felt a wave of exhaustion hitting her hard, but she attempted to get ready for bed anyway. She undressed to try and wash the day away, but stopped in her tracks at the mirror. She looked her mostly nude body up and down, stopping at her thighs. Her skin really was beautiful, it's a shame that it's tainted by numerous scars, some fresh, some just barely healed. She clenched her fists to her bust, only drawing her eyes to the scars that laid upon her wrists as well. She went into her autopilot state. Turning her head to look out the bathroom door, she sees her bag and the dirty kitchen knife she smuggled home subconsciously nearby. After that, her mind fell into a pit of static.
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Death:
It felt like waking up from a restless's night sleep, so when she sat up to find herself in the middle of some street instead of her bed, she was perplexed. What managed to get her up and moving was the honking of an approaching van coming full speed in her direction. She scrambled to her feet, just barely avoiding the headlights with a swift leap. When she stood up, she realized how her body didn't ache how it usually does. Her feet weren't wobbly, and her neck and back weren't as stiff as they usually were. Looking back to where she awoke, it startled her how easily she was able to jump such a distance. Finally taking the time to absorb her surroundings, she simply kept walking down these city streets. It was large, and the neon signs and lights were almost too much for her doe eyes to adjust to. She'd really only seen cities like this on postcards, even with all the moving around she had to do in life.
While walking past the store front of an incredibly tall skyscraper, that she couldn't see the top of even if she tried, she saw a collage of screens. One of them had just gone out, drawing her eyes to the sight of televison static. Suddenly, the events of the previous night came back to her.
She died. And this must be Hell? She assumed so, taking a look at the demonic figures walking around her and the giant pentagram stamped onto the sky above her.
In what cruel world does a girl struggling for an easier life deserve to be hellbound?
Continuing her suddenly staggered walk, she was almost immediately stopped at another store front, her reflection catching her eye. For some reason, she appeared in Hell wearing her work uniform. What kind of cruel joke - Were those antlers..? She took a moment to process her new animalistic features. Her skin had a peachfuzz feel to it, and despite the rosiness in her cheeks, her skin looked grey. She yanked at the rabbit ears that trailed down her bust, then reached up to tug at the small antlers, jolting her head in the process. Giving a quick spin, she finally noticed - Oh, you've got to be kidding me - a small little tuft of a tail coming from her backside. She pulled open her mouth next, examining her suddenly rounded front teeth. She had become some kind of Jackalope Demon. A realization that this was her life now suddenly hit. Or her afterlife, at least.
She kept on walking, ignoring any propositions and dodging any troubles to the best of her ability. After a good hike, she found herself on the outskirts of the city, the air somehow clearer. Or as clear as it could be for Hell's standards. A much smaller tower compared to the ones she'd walked by, sat alone at the top of the hill. She recognized it! There were multiple flyers scattered throughout the city with its picture plastered on it. She didn't read into them too much, but did take note of the advertisement because it mentioned free rooms. And any sort of bed sounded like Heaven right now.
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(Aaand then she goes through a bunch of redemption shenanigans n' falls in loooove or something)
Hope you like her :)) give her some luv
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roguelov · 8 months
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It struck me the other day that Desire has one thing in common with Dream, their inclination for the felines. Remember that infamous sexy black cat suit? I came up with this naughty little piece that Desire wants to fuck up with their dear big brother, again so they transforms into a cat looking just like dream. Unawares, reader takes cat Desire onto her laps on pets them. She notices that her lord meowpheus seems extra needy and handsy (pawsy) today, but she shrugs it off cuz it's not like he doesn't seem touch-starved in his anthropomorphic form. Besides, he's so cute like this. And then Morpheus whirls into her house and is welcome by the sight of love cuddling with another freaking cat, and he instantly picks up the fact that this copycat is none other than his sibling. He's so pissed off and that green monster is roaring inside him. Desire as usual just delightedly taunts their brother even after he demands them to get out wrathfully. But guess fun is over and they disappears with a victorious smirk. The juicy part is next. Morpheus swoops reader into the dreaming and pins her down in his bed with his power and dissolve her clothes. Like a predator catching their prey, Lord Meowpheus saunter over to her, eyes glimmering dangerously. He caress her skin with his tails and touch her with his paws. He displays his voice in her head that just because he's currently a cat doesn't mean he can't work his tongue like magic.( Real world cat tongues are spiked but apparently Meowpheus can morph at will). Basically, this pussycat wants to claim his pussy. And After he's done with her, he drapes across her body possesively and purrs as his love rests.
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‘The woman was rendered speechless’
God jealous Dream is my favorite type of Dream 😫🫠 can you imagine how possessive he would be? Like devouring you like it was his last meal? Him whispering things like ‘my dear this belongs to me/who gets to touch you like this/louder, my love, say my name louder’
Also like just a random idea to add onto this but like the reader will sometimes purposely hang out with Desire (they’re actually besties and love to gossip) just to make Dream jealous and although Desire doesn’t entirely like the thought (sibling rivalry and all that) they do understand lust and always helps out
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alivingmel · 8 months
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GOT MY LAST CHEMO INFUSION ON WEDNESDAY BABEEE, feelin' like garbage but finally can recover without another scheduled dose of suffering on the horizon.
MORE ABOUT MY EXPERIENCE AND ""FUN"" FACTS ABOUT CHEMOTHERAPY (under the cut):
-There are over a hundred chemo drugs used to fight cancer! Alkylating agents, antimetabolites, anti-tumor antibiotics, topoisomerase inhibitors, the list goes on. . . Some are administered intravenously, some are taken orally, some are injected with a needle, and some even come in wafer form (surgically placed near a tumor)!
-My treatment regimen involved five different chemo drugs. . . 12 weeks of paclitaxel and carboplatin (every week), 8 weeks of doxorubicin and cyclophosphamide (every other week), and Keytruda (every 4 weeks, I think? lost track lmao) throughout.
-DOXORUBICIN (also known as Adriamycin) is one of the most infamous chemo drugs. Its nasty list of side effects and bright red color has earned it the nickname "The Red Devil". You have to get an echocardiogram before recieving doxorubicin because it can cause serious heart problems. For this reason, there's a maximum cumulative dose. You also piss bright red after it's administered!!!
-PACLITAXEL (also known as Taxol) comes from an interesting source. . . The bark of the Pacific yew tree! Makes you wonder how many cures for diseases are hiding in plain sight. . . Or being covered up by the pharmaceutical industry because they aren't profitable enough. :')
-My understanding of chemo from TV and movies made me believe it made you puke nonstop. . . But, because doctors anticipate the nausea, they have plenty of preventative treatments so it's not nearly as common a side effect as it once was. I didn't throw up once! But I did get nasty heartburn and plenty of bowel issues to make up for it, yikes. (I once was someone that got anxiety about bringing up embarrassing problems to my doctors, this experience has bled me dry of shame. . .)
-You don't always have to lose all your hair either! For those recieving meds that cause hair loss, cooling caps are an option. They're expensive, but some hospitals (including mine, thankfully) have programs for those that can't afford them. (Partly because nurses weren't too keen on helping only the richest patients keep their hair.) Cooling caps work by chilling your scalp, reducing the amount of blood flow (and thus chemo drugs) that reaches your hair follicles. IT FEELS LIKE THE WORST BRAIN FREEZE EVER BECAUSE IT ENCASES YOUR SKULL IN ICE AND IT ADDS LIKE 3 HOURS ONTO YOUR INFUSION VISIT, but hey! I kept like 50% of my hair, and I would have kept more if it wasn't for the goddamn doxorubicin (which is notoriously tough on hair). MY IDENTITY IS VERY HAIR-BASED so it made me feel better.
-Of course, you don't just lose hair on your head, though! First went the pubes, then the armpits, eyebrows, and now my eyelashes are on their way out. . . Arm and leg hairs seem the most resilient (in my case, anyway).
-THE BEST (aka worst) side effect of chemo for me, personally, has been the chemically induced menopause. Chemo causes you to temporarily lose your period, which sounded like a huge bonus! Until the hot flashes and the night sweats started. Not fun to deal with during the summer!!! I hope this is extra intense because of it being more abrupt than naturally occuring menopause, otherwise I DREAD getting this shit for real in the future, yowza.
-Because chemo drugs are tough on your veins (and can cause serious tissue damage if an IV isn't placed correctly), patients often get a port-a-cath placed in their chest to make the constant blood draws and infusions easier. I got one and I CANNOT WAIT TO GET IT OUT. It's internal, but you can feel the plastic disc "target" where they stick the IV cuz it's right under the skin and it gives me the heebie jeebies UGHHH. . . Also one of my cats almost stuck his filthy nail in it and that would've been DISASTER. . .
-The 20-34 age group only makes up 2.7% of all cancer cases. . . Which I definitely noticed in the waiting rooms! I felt out of place and didn't end up talking to many other patients, but the nurses were all very kind to me.
-It might go without saying, but where you go for treatment matters big time!!! The local hospital I got diagnosed at dragged their ass on scheduling me for a mammogram (putting me at risk for metastasis). . . And the chemo regimen they presented to me afterwards was either outdated or not specifically geared toward Triple Negative breast cancer cuz it was pretty different than the regimen I ended up on (which is supported by the most current research). . . I'm lucky enough to be close enough to Boston that I could travel up there for treatment! If you have a life-threatening condition, it's worth making the trip to the nearest city with a good hospital, believe me. (Getting stuck in traffic after treatment sucks HARD though, god.)
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marinerainbow · 8 months
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Hey! I know I said I would send you a load of wolf stuff but I did not foresee being e x h a u s t e d XD So I'll leave you with these thoughts:
Granny and Big Bad calling you sweetheart.
Granny and Big Bad getting in your space; Big Bad always wrapping his big thick arm around you and holding you close while he charms you. Granny getting you to sit on his lap whenever he can, wanting it to become second nature to you.
Granny and Big Bad sharing a look if you ever tried to leave them and then suddenly Big Bad throws you over his shoulder and they lock you away in a little cottage until they trust you not to try that again.
Granny and Big Bad calling you doll.
Granny and Big Bad hating it when you smell like anyone else- uniting about the fact that they've got to cover you up in their scents again.
Granny and Big Bad getting to you separately, individually, alone, in order to leave marks on you- it's a silent battle. Who can leave the most obvious markings for everyone to see. You end up looking totally ravaged.
Granny and Big Bad.
Granny
And
Big
Bad.
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Also guess what!??? I already got 2 asks about these guys CUZ OF OUR FANNING and they're using the nicknames we came up with for them!! ❤🧡💙❤🧡💙❤🧡💙
...
*deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeep breath*
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THIS 👆👆👆👆 THIS IS HOW BAD THESE GOT ME!!! IN THE MORNING!? WICKED THIS IS BETTER THAN A TRIPLE ESPRESSO SHOT!!!!!
Ok, ok, I HAVE TO CALM MYSELF-
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(Seriously my guy, this ask is giving me ZOOMIES! I legit had to walk away from this a couple of times to pace around XD)
Alright. Alright. So!
First of all, I have to point this out again. I am legally obligated to. GRANNY'S EYES LOOK SO MUCH CLEARER AND BRIGHTER IN THAT PICTURE!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! ABD BIG BADS!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOLD IN THEM IN THIS PIC!!! HOW DID YOU MAKE SUCH A CLEAR SCREENSHOT!? I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!!!
Just... Y E S. Yes to A L L of this!!! These jerks being greedy and kinda possessive about you. Granny ESPECIALLY got me bad (he wants it to be SECOND NATURE for me to sit on his lap? Well, that ain't gonna be a problem! XD). And! The cottage??? Oooooh lord have mercy XDD (does this mean i could be their Snow White? Or another princess that stayed in a cottage??)
But!! Since this is Fairytale land and some people are like, aware of the fact that they're a fairytale, what if the whole cottage thing was more just slightly annoying to reader?? I mean, you don't LIKE it, obviously, but since this is Fairytale Land, this isn't seen as TOO too bad since you know that eventually you'll get out? And hey, it could be worse than a cottage in the woods. Like they could have slipped a love potion in your drink, or locked you up in a dark and dank dungeon instead. So uh... They get points for that? I guess? XD but again, still annoying, "Guys, don't you think this is a little bit overkill?" "Hmmm... Nope!" "Of course."
To add onto exasperated Reader. I'm just imagining that scene from Megamind where Roxanne was just like "Girls! Girls! You're both pretty. Can I go home now?" But with reader and the wolves XD their just watching these two bicker once again like -_- "Sooo should I just go now?" XD
Oooh dear, all those marks (this got me very, very bad). Imagine if somebody sees that!! Either reader is flustered and trying desperately to explain without giving their personal life away, or they're just so damn tired of dealing with this every time Granny and Big Bad get competitive... Which is all the time XDD
Concerned Hero: Ma'am? Are these beasts bothering you?
Y/N: Yeah, but I married them. So I kinda signed up for this.
PEOPLE ARE ALREADY SENDING IN ASKS!? AND THEY ARE USING OUR NICKNAMES!? OH MY GOD!!! IM SO EXCITED!!! I can't wait to see what they asked you!!! ^^ (don't feel rushed to answer them, though!)
Ooh man, I wish I could add more to this response. Or just make this more coherent XD thank you so so much for sending these in!!! I can't wait to see you write more for the wolves! 💛💙❤️
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noa-ciharu · 11 months
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I've seen your Fuuma supremacy post on birb app (and love it!) and as a fellow Fuuma appreciator I'd like to ask you for gathering twelve reasons to why Fuuma is great / should be appreciated more~ uwu 👉👈
Hohoho that's an interesting one. Honestly it's a bit hard to put into words why certain character is underappreciated cuz it's hard to pinpoint what makes ppl get attached to character in the first place. But I'll try my best :D
1) honestly his early X self. He's so kind and gentle to Kotori and Kamui, very protective brother and friend. Also how soft he and Kamui are back then 🥺 and touchy feely with one another
2) speaking of early X Fuuma, just look at how gay he was for Kamui from the very start
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Who the hell thinks of their friends in this shojo typical style??? With sakura petals and sparkles to the boot?? Good boy Fuuma was so head over heels for Kamui, it was adorable 😭♥️ good bf material
3) oke so onto his more complex and intriguing late X self: the enigma of what precisely happened. I've seen some people are discouraged by permanent hiatus and lack of elaboration just what happened to Fuuma. And while yes, I too would prefer if we had answered, mystery and head-scratchers are intriguing to me. I love to speculate, to analyze the possibilities with what we've been given so far. Which brings me to the next point:
4) there's more to late X Fuuma than it meets the eye. It's easy to dismiss him as sadistic without a cause villian (as he's portrayed in X anime sadly) but in manga that's far from the case. Like take this scene for example:
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It's true he's ruthless in fulfilling people's wishes and doing bad deeds but look at his expression. That's not face of a man who's too delighted by causing mayhem, in fact looks more saddened by the fact too many people lose sight of themselves in process of caring for their loved ones
5) his more childish/bratty side
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This scene in Ebisu before the destruction in vol4 for example. It was equally adorable and sinister given you know who Fuuma is but his kindness did seem genuine. Similar mischief can be seen in his interactions with Seishirou, Kakyou to some degree and sometimes when interacting with other Dragons
6) wish seeing ability and his general omnipotence. I love how he appears like personification of Judgment arcana (just taken on a darker meaning), how he can see deep inside person's heart and see what wishes dwell there. And how he delivers judgement by making those wishes reality. Tbh, I'm not trying to justify Fuuma's actions here but characters around him really do have fucked up wishes (ahem, Subaru, ahem Nataku) - X is basically a story about messed up people in messed up situations. In some lighert X AU he would have severed as a Santa claus or something but alas, X is far from light story
7) simply, these ambiguous lines
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Fuuma is judging others on their lack of self awareness 25/8. Add scene with Karen and that "if killing others is wrong then why do we lose sight of what's truly important" line. As well as many more. Honestly maybe it's just me, but there's something ♥️ about characters that are 'above others' but still have a weakness/vulnerability that's tying them back to same humans they're supposed to be above (in Fuuma's case that's obviously his connection to Kamui). In X it's wishes that give characters sense of humanity and will to live and Fuuma himself isn't above wishing; his wish is connected to Kamui one way or another
8) how to not mention his homoerotic courtship battles with Kamui? Iconic honestly. Where else would you get this type of content that's not a BL manga
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All shonen battles can go home these are only type that matter
9) oke so since since we're getting shallow for a bit: HE'S HOT AF ♥️🔥 I mean look at those evil smirks
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10) I can't find a panel rn but at one point when Kamui said his wish is to bring old Fuuma back current Fuuma's eyes widened and that's the first and last time in series he appeared genuinely shocked. Which leads me to obviously question: why? Does it shock him Kamui wants other Fuuma back? Is Kamui wanting old Fuuma back somehow contradicting Fuuma's own wish (like if only way old Fuuma can come back is if Kamui were to die and Fuuma's wish is for Kamui to live)? I want to know what his wish is 🥺 I'm torn between him wanting Kamui to acknowledge his new self and wanting Kamui to start appreciating himself and wanting to live no matter what. Maybe it's both of those, maybe those wishes are connected somehow 🤔 either way it's that head-scratcher of what precisely late X Fuuma wished for that's intriguing. Maybe it's connected to old Fuuma's wish to protect Kamui but why hurt him so much then??
I need coffee for this
11) honestly, all the softer conflicting expressions he has, especially when Kamui is in question. Like this one for example
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So soft and torn 🥺 Imma go cry why so emotional 😭😭😭 obvs this isn't the only instance, manga is filled with those subtle scenes where he's talking to Kamui or thinking about him with rather conflicting yearning expressions
Which bring me to the last one:
12) this scene. Prediction, whatever you call it. I need to know what will happen 😭😭😭
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Look. Fuuma is one of my fave characters so it's only natural I want to see him suffer. I need him to break down cuz of something Kamui did, or even cuz of his death. I want him to be crushed under weight of his emotions and angst 🥺🙏 Wish master who can grant anyone's wish yet there's noone to grant him his own now that Kamui is no longer alive. So my point here is that Fuuma and generally whole late X setting is perfect angst material
All in all, I guess it's Fuuma's complexity that made him one of my faves. There's way more to him than it meets the eye
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vioisgoinginsane · 2 years
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Hi! I saw your reply to the Ikemen Tag Game here (https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/vio-simps-for-purple-characters/692636827931344896) and you mentioned liking 3 fictional Dazai-san's. If it's not too much trouble, where are the other two? What do you think of them?
I recently read his novel Ningen Shikkaku in preparation to read Dazai's route in Ikevamp and ended up liking it a lot. I went onto the #Dazai tag on tumblr and saw anime boys all the way down, which led to watching Bungo Stray Dogs. I like that Dazai too! So now I'm wondering if there's more itinerations of Dazai to enjoy, somewhere. Thanks so much for reading and answering!
I've been waiting for this question for so long. thank you. Thank you 🙏❤🌹
As you have already mentioned there is BSD Dazai, which is also the first one I have ever encountered and he's iconic. The whole BSD has a special place in my heart for reigniting my love for reading and making me start reading the classics that inspire the abilities in the show. I can't quite articulate how important Dazai's existence as a character was for me. It just got me through a rough adolescence and when I listen to his character song I somehow both wanna cry and it gives me strength to go on.
It's so fuckin wild when i think how if i didn't find one YouTube video back in like 2015 something and i didn't find Dazai I would have never downloaded Ikevamp cuz the add that I kept getting of the game showed mostly napoleon. Well, "Napoleone" to which i thought "that's fucking stupid. I'm not playing this game... Wait. It has a DAZAI IN IT!???? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME THAT SOONER" and if I didn't download Ikevamp i wouldn't have downloaded ikesen. And ikepri. And I wouldn't be here on tumblr simping for Gilbert like a hopeless dumb bitvh—wait. sorry. i went on a tangent.
I love our Ikevamp Dazai too. His route is everything i ever could have wanted as a multiverse Dazai simp.
Now the one less known would be Dazai from Bungou to Alchemist, which If when you read that you picture this:
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Then whatever brains are made of, yours and mine are the same.
This is one of those anime that I feel like I was the only person in the world to watch it, which is sometimes a nice feeling. But then I went on pinterest and found a few fanarts and memes and turns out no, I'm not the only one who knows it exists.
Joking aside, The actual show looks like this:
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This incarnation of Dazai is also supposed to be the author, after he died (like ikevamp dazai) and the gist is that these famous authors get reincarnated into this magic library and they have these magic weapons and they have to enter the world of books and fight akumas that want to destroy the stories cuz... Anime? Don't remember. There's also a talking cat. Anyways,
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LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT HIS CUTE LIL SIDEBRAID ORZ HE GOT PRETTY RED HAIR LIKE AN AUTUMN LEAF 🍁
This interpretation of Dazai is... Closer to BSD Dazai in personality? Sorta. He's still "playing the clown" and underneath that is the "no longer human" but he's waaay less smooth than Ikevamp Dazai. And there's something so relatable about Dazai's adoration of Akutagawa's works except that Dazai as a... Character archetype is to me what Akutagawa's works are to him and I know there are people out there who feel that way about the actual author's works. I haven't read any of his novels yet but I read one of his shirt shories and it was such... Raw emotion.
The interesting gist is that he and Akutagawa's incarnation meet from episode 1 and their relationship is interesting. Cuz in BSD their relationship is reversed, while here it's closer to irl. Dazai finally getting to meet his idol and he's like
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it's so adorable till it's a lil heartbreaking. They're a lil like a student and teacher except that Dazai's had a different actual teacher that appears at some point. That may be why he feels younger than BDS Dazai to me, somehow, despite the fact BTA Dazai is supposed to be the one who died at 30 and BSD Dazai is 22.
And we see him with his writer friends Oda and Ango it's so cute till it's heartbreaking cuz everyone around here has at least a lil bit of depression. They are writers afterall.
There are some writers that were characters in BSD too. They have a Chuuya. And he's even shorter. There are other's who I've never heard of before or since.
The anime is based on a japanese game (That's why the set up is so RPG fighting game based and some characters get more screentime than others) that i never managed to find much on. I found a few cards screenshots. Is it on mobile? Desktop? Does it even still exist in the year of our Lord 2022? Idk cuz it's not translated and i don't speak japanese and I haven't lookes it up in a long time. Some characters from the game don't even appear in the anime. I only know Kunikida and Atsushi from fanart and I. Feel. Robbed. Cuz they look SO CUTE. ATSUSHI SOMETIMES HAS GLASSES AND SOMETIMES DOESN'T WHICH I TOOK TO MEAN HE HAS A DOUBLE PERSONALITY AND I TOOK TO CALLING ONE OF THEM ATSU AND THE OTHER NAKA AND RANPO LOOKS LIKE SOME KINDA ARSENE LUPIN/TUXIDO MASK
Anyways. I love all of my Dazais.
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I BELIEVE IN DAZAI IN A SUIT SUPREMACY
Oh also the OP of this anime bangs
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theloveinc · 1 year
Note
Same person as anon abefore! I wanted to ask about any personal rules you have for this blog? (Only if you feel comfortable answering ofc) bc i saw your post about adding thoughts onto other peoples post and had no idea some people dislike that! But it makes sense why it might make others uncomfortable in a way
-curious question from someone who would very much like a moot (only if you want one too :D !!!!)
hello dear friend :) ... yes ofc you can ask!! tho apologies in advance if this is a complicated answer (and i got your other ask too, tho imma save it for tomorrow bc i'm exhousted)...
i actually personally don't have, nor have ever had, rules for my blog.... mostly bc people have their rules broken ALL the time and i just don't want to worry myself w/ accusing askers/followers of doing this or that (can't break any rules if there aren't any), you know?
but also that's pretty easy for me to say bc i don't really have any like... big triggers or icks or things that bother me, either, so like. if i get something i don't want to address ... i just won't lol? tho that rarely happens cuz i want to get to everything even if i CAN'T or don't
as for like... additions to posts, i think everyone has different preferences regarding how one should go about it? so i can't answer for everyone... but asking is def a safe and kind bet, ALWAYS.
as for me, NORMALLY (adding thoughts) isn't something that bothers me! i love seeing what people have to say, esp if they're friends of mine or add acknowledgements to the creator of the post.
but i think what p*ssed me off today is the fact that........ even tho the reblob was most definitely well intentioned, it just felt a little like i was ransacked of my own idea, esp since that blog has way more followers and friends than i do and i felt like people were responding to them rather than like... me/my idea/OUR idea (and we've never spoken either so .... ??? double whammy)
but anyway. i really want to say like, don't be afraid of adding onto my stuff, or doing anything really idgaf, cuz usually i totally don't mind and esp now that we're friends and have chatted!
but now... i guess i can say, in MY case specifically, recognition does go a long way. even just adding a little like... "hope you don't mind if i add to this!" or "great idea!! this makes me think of ___" would make it feel so much better than just reblobbing as if it were your (as an example) idea in the first place to contribute to.
BUT USUALLY I'M NOT THAT PICKY. TODAY WAS JUST :/ bc i felt a little ignored by someone i do admire and appreciate. but please don't stress yourself, whatever happens i'm always happy to forgive<333
but thank you so much for being so considerate, for my sake and everyone's. i hope this wasn't too hard to read, new mootie friend☺️ (fyi, i follow from @virtualizated)
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Okay. It's time for my theories post. I am going to be sharing ss of others posts with their names so credit is given to people who have helped and added to my earlier theories.
I wanted to make this before everyone got theirs out, but I didn't feel like making a long post yet.
I AM READY NOW THOUGH. HERE WE GOOOO !!
So of course, first up is Eddie. He's ALIVE. Kind of. Now I had said it before how his death seemed rushed and just didn't really work. I think they're trying to maybe build up to something else for Eddie. What , I dont exactly know. But I have a guess. Now before I've just been thinking Eddie isn't dead cuz the bats aren't fatal and can't kill, they didn't kill Steve and he had no shirt or jacket or anything to cover himself with when attacked. Eddie had layers on, one of which being leather, but then again there were way more bats attacking him than there were for Steve.
So this leads to my new favorite theory, that Eddie did die, BUT he's come back as a vampire. Kas the bloody handed to be specific. Now I know literally nothing about dnd, but I've been reading theories which means I've learned a few things about this guy, but I'm just gonna share some ss from some other people who are better able at wording shit than I am.
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As we see here from the 3rd pic is Mike in the 1st ep (I believe) of s4 vol 1 during their dnd game. In the past we've seen dnd games foreshadow later events like Will being taken by the demogorgon.
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And even this dnd game foreshadowed Eleven not being able to defeat Vecna on her own. Dustin (I think it was him) rolled an 11 and it wasn't enough on it's own to defeat him.
So I'm thinking the dnd game could've alluded to more than just that.
And just to add to this a little more (ss taken from the post of @/enanowo on twitter)
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The same music that played for Will when he was "dead", played for Eddie too. This isn't the first time they've repeated certain songs for certain things. The same music (idk what song) played for I believe both Hopper and El when we thought they'd died, but actually weren't. So this could be another thing maybe.
That's really all I have for this, but here's a bit of a small thread on this. It's almost basically just what I said, but I think they explain it better.
https://twitter.com/eddiexmunsons/status/1544182444869709824?t=xCjLDHpYKWEiU-RrBFnf5w&s=19
Now onto Will.
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( @/lovelikelumax on twitter )
Now I've been saying that Will is going to have powers or something special about him. And that I think he's going to be the one to help Eleven defeat Vecna.
And I still kind of believe that, but there have been other theories I've seen that have me believing otherwise. Like some believe Eight/Kali will be brought back to help Eleven and maybe even Eddie with his newfound vampirism tho idk about that one. The one about Eight is a definite possibility and I would actually love it of they brought her back, but back to my theory.
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I feel like my theories are more supported by the confirmation that The Mindflayer was in fact Vecna. We've seen what Vecna can do, what he's capable of and his intelligence and planning. So yeah I think my theory of Will being special and being specifically picked is almost definitely supported.
I also want to link this tiktok of this other person's theory cuz I kind of really like it tho I'm not too sure about it especially the beginning, but later I do think it has some things correct maybe.
I do think this is somewhat supported just cause of the lock and song thing. I mean we've seen how the demogorgon enters the home before and this is almost entirely different. Also the song was pointed out a bunch of times. They kind of highlighted (?? there's another word I'm looking for I think but I cant think of it) it multiple times throughout the 1st season. He sang it on the radio, showed him singing it in the upside down, showed the sentimental meaning of the song, and even used it later to help bring him forward so he could speak to them when he was possessed by The Mindflayer who happens to aLSO BE VECNA.
It could've just been a coincidence. The lock thing was the 1st ep and the pilot is always a way to test certain things and then later it'll be different or you won't see a certain thing ever again. Maybe they hadn't thought up the demogorgon entrance all that well ? And the song could've later just inspired the new song thing in this season. But I do have to say if it wasn't just a coincidental accident...
I don't think I have much more to add to this rn. I'll probably post more about this all later, but rn I'm done. Thank you for reading ik this was a LOT. so yeah :)
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niccerooniererer · 2 years
Note
can you make more chuck x taylor stuff. P.S who do you ship Zak with?
ALRIGHT U M-
I have so much for those 2 so like
I overanalized them to hell and back at one point (I have an essay about it that gets increasingly incomprehensible and then it's just screenshots of wiki comments I found funny) n like..... god there's so much context to it but
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I made this sketch (was still figuring out how to draw both of them, also reason my first art of them will never see the light of day cuz I just don't like it anymore) anyways this is uh. Mocharia date and it's so incredibly specific but it's actually like- like--- I'm so so close to posting the essay I swear dhjkdjkdj
but basically mocharia stickers for them. I like to put ideas onto stickers so I got to thinking with those specifically
so I was specifically sus of the fact that the time Taylor has valentine's toppings sticker as a requirement for his style B is also when him and Chuck share his different order sticker
n now you can be like that's just stupid but do you know who you're talking to? I will find context that doesn't exist
so like a """""simple and normal""""" fan of them, I kinda interpretted it in a way that that could be like them getting the closest in a good while, like maybe it's the game where they got so much closer dhkdjddjs
anyways to add to this, Chuck comes in damn late in Mocharia so the idea is that he isn't the fastest or most confident about finally like, recognizing feelings and stuff and confessing. which fits considering he do be kinda dumb......
oh I also wrote a short fic where they almost kiss because Taylor is also dumb asf and gets angry about Chuck eating the last slice of pizza, if you're interested in that dhjkdjld I have some stuff written........ also angst, a specific kind......... with comfort at the end dhdijkdjokld I am so in love with these 2
also almost forgot to answer the other question you had cuz I got carried away damn it- n like n like n like
hear me out. I made several headcanons that got me really attached to the guy, who is Budwin. At first I was like "wouldn't lazy boyfriends be funny" and then got to "actually they are so sweet wtf" where I really liked the idea of Budwin being once a famous singer of sorts but the career didn't bring him joy at all so he went into a life where he does have joy but then people forgot about him and barely anyone cared about the fact that he's finally happier now, healing from the way he felt at the time but then through interesting circumstances he meets Zak who is the kinda guy who would absolutely understand that and brings him a space where he can feel happy without the guilt that he was sooo much better when he was famous and busy and hardworking--- sorry I got so so long winded on this one, I care about them so hard
both these pairs- n like quite a few others dbujdkhdj
but yeah god you can't just ask me things like this and then expect me to be short with my words
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gay-salt-amber · 2 years
Note
^^ Hi again~!
You said in the kid headcanons you see Vil and Rook getting married when the kids were toddlers or babies and that got me curious of what the wedding would look like, then I recalled all their weddings
I, sadly for some not Riddle cause screw his mum, see some of them haven cut ties with their families for different reasons or they refused to. Like I see Kalim having at least invited his family to his wedding (I like JamKal as well but also love KalJamAce too, I'm curious of which fic you mean since I can't find anything of them minus here, just wanted to say that) but they didn't show up. And after that he decided to cut ties with them minus some of his siblings and cousins who he cares for. Another would maybe be Idia after getting that family love from Malleus' family and Azul's family and realize his family doesn't care that much about him minus Ortho who I see being the best man on his side in the wedding
Yeee! Imma add onto some of these btw since I really like yours
Floyd x Riddle x Cater
Floyd and Caters family were very happy to be invited and accepted the invites right away along with offering to pay bar bills and half of the catering bill!
I feel like Riddles mom refused to go until she somehow learned about their kid and wanted to go (she wanted to manipulate the child) but Riddle shot that shit down REAL fast
The only one from Riddles family there is his grandma cuz shes not bat-shit insane
I think Trey would be Riddles best man, Jade would be Floyds and one of Cater's sisters husbands was his best man
The weddings aesthetic would be like red and black but also light hints of blue
Floyd would hide lil fish things in the flowers and stuff like the gremlin he is
They had some spicy ramen for Cater since they figured he wouldn't want any of the cake (despite his sisters trying to convince him to eat it)
Heartslabyul were just balling their eyes out during the whole thing and Floyd was the first husband to start sobbing
There were a lot of hugs and kisses throughout the whole thing
Riddle would have trouble convincing himself that this all was real but the moment his boyfriends fed him the first piece of wedding cake he didn't have to convince himself anymore
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Leoruggie
Cheka is like the only one from Leona's family there and that's mainly because Ruggie wanted him there
Ruggie on the other hand, has his grandmother and some friends turned family there
Cheka was the flower boy and Ruggie got SO MUCH baby fever
Leona wanted to go all out for the wedding and Ruggie had to talk him down from emptying his bank account, not like that could happen anyway but still!
This is one of the first times Leona has seen Ruggie in a suit that wasn't his or another hand-me-down and Leona had to stop himself from having a nosebleed and making out with him on the alter
Their wedding aesthetic is a lot of warm yellows and dark browns with the light tossing in of white
Oh and also lots of flowers!
The rings are actually quite similar to the promise rings Ruggie got them (see my valentines day post) but with bigger stones and their names engraved on the inside
They went all out on the food and that is a fact
I feel like they wouldn't do best mans, they just don't like people enough to want one
Leona doesn't take his hand off of Ruggie's waist the whole night and Ruggie later jokes about Leona calling him the clingy one, "You really are just a big kitten, y'know?"
Leona denies this but is a massive hypocrite when they get home
------
Jamikali (with a Jamikaliace one)
Kalim is the happiest he could ever be and Jamil is just happy that his husband is so happy
Jamil's father is a shitbag so his mother and Najma are the only ones from his side there
Lilia is Kalim's best man and Floyd is Jamil's best man
The wedding is actually not that grandiose, at least not by some standards, its an outdoor wedding in spring and its very pretty
They don't do wedding rings, they instead do armlets, they already had matching armlets to begin with so they felt it would be better
Vil did Kalim's makeup for the wedding and Jamil was so flustered, his husband looked so pretty in his suit, the veil and the makeup just made him look like he was handcrafted by whatever gods there are
Jamil made all the food, he ain't letting anything be poisoned... He still taste tested everything
Everyone there (that wasn't family) would tell you that was the first time they've seen Jamil have a smile that wasn't snarky but Kalim just laughs at this because hes seen Jamil smile like that all the time, just not infront of the others
Kalim was already very affectionate so Ace and Floyd didn't even question that Kalim had his arms wrapped around Jamil while they talked about stuff
Also if its Jamikaliace its the same basically except its Jamil just trying to control the two from getting drunk off their asses
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Malleus x Azul x Idia (this one may be short)
Idia didn't even think of inviting his dad, hes fine with his boyfriends families and Ortho and that's it
Small wedding
The color pallet would be a lot of blues, with green only in the flowers and stuff. They wanted more but it looked weird that way
Yuu (MC) was Malleus's best man, Jade was Azul's, and Ortho was Idia's best man
Have yall seen people wear hoodies to weddings? Yeah they wore casual clothes since Idia doesn't really like suits, it had similar parts to his suit in the Groom for a Day event but it was mainly just casual
Floyd did a weird af toast
Jade hid those small little mushroom things around the place
Someone left a ferby as an unmarked wedding gift
--------
Rook x Vil
They had a small makeshift wedding
His dad would have had it filmed and put on tv. While Vil wouldnt have minded it if it was anything else, Vil had to draw a line somewhere and also it kind of made Rook uncomfortable
The only people there were their kids
Trey heard of the thing and made them a small cake and some cupcakes for the event
Rook dried the flowers Vil gave him that morning
The wedding was in their backyard, it was very pretty but still
Everyone on Magicam was very worried about Vil going on a hiatus but it turns out he and Rook were on a honeymoon and he was disguised so nobody recognized him
If they didn't need to do anything the morning after (like write Trey a thank you letter and y'know shower and eat) Rook would have been laying with Vil all day
Much wine, like bottles on bottles of it, also a very nice cheese + meat platter
-----
Enjoy! These were very fun to think about :> -Amber
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chasmbreach · 2 years
Note
Real quick just to clear up about that Chara art ut analysis (I was bored and reading tags):
- Chara was implied to be abused due to the info on the faded ribbon, reading "If you look cute, they won't hit as hard." (Paraphrasing but that's pretty much the exact definition.) Under Narachara this implies that Chara was abused to some extent above ground.
- To add onto this there's a lot more evidence the humans above ground are generally horrible people, a lot to list but a quick wiki visit should suffice with examples. Also important to note is that in the librarby in Snowdin there is a book that says while Monsters souls are made out of kindness and compassion, human souls are not. This is a biological fact moreso than just meaning all humans are evil (the kindness soul existing obviously counters that fact) but it likely also means that humans aren't constrained by kindness.
- Simply put they attack Asriel/Chara because Asriel is a monster, and you know already they are prejudiced against them.
Using this we can infer that Chara was likely overtaken by emotions from the humans, and while it's ambiguous what they were originally planning to do (Assuming it was for pacifistic intentions to break the barrier, I'd assume they were going to ask the stronger human magicians that may or may not exist anymore to shatter the barrier) Chara decided to try fighting and killing the village (due to being overtaken by emotions or in self defense, I think it's left ambiguous but I don't exactly remember) while Asriel held back Chara.
Just wanted to clear it up cuz you seemed confused on it so I wanted to push some facts out, incase you'd even want to read it. Anyways have a good day <3
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!
Oh my gods this was really helpful. Its 2am I'm still brain dead but this does put a lot of things in line for me!
Yeah, when writing that original response my smooth brain completely glossed over the fact that the two of them shared a body that was monster-like, which would obviously cause the village to want to kill them.
... what was my original argument again lmao.
Edit: ok I reread it, I think my confusing was from like, the reason why the village was abusive (which is obviously never told) and why Chara requested to be buried back in the village (was that a thing? I think that was a thing) once they died to help break the barrier. Why would they want to be back in the village as their dead bed? (Assuming that's a thing, I'm very tired and not thinking straight, I can't remember the details)
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Text
that we have all had the misfortune to witness, and, if we are being honest....or, at least, if I'm being honest, have been, to a lesser degree, guilty of ourselves. Boy is ridiculously into girl (or vice versa) girl is clearly never gonna go there. Boy cannot be conversed with rationally concerning this situation, he is desperately HOLDING ONTO something either much too small, or non-existent. He will not let it go. He fears doing so. He can't accept the idea that everything about this union resides in his imagination and nowhere else. He is in a difficult spot because he has MANUFACTURED it, intentiontionally or unintentionally, by himself. The difference here (or, ONE difference) is that this has simply never occurred in this example. I will HAPPILY let this go, and am constantly seeking reasons to do so. My problem, as I will later explain in more detail, is that along with reasons to walk away forever, I also find genuine reasons not to....and these tend to get the benefit of doubt when the person in question is one I honestly have love for. Thankfully, it is not of the "I need (or even want, frankly) to be with this person" variety. It's essentially platonic, at this point. But, I am not certain how much easier this really is. For those of you who believe I have and have had no reason to at all to pursue answers to these feelings, particularly after they would not subside for 20 plus fucking years, and I should have just "faced facts" and "accepted" whatever,I was supposed to accept. I will add that it has subsided recently due to an obvious irreconcilable difference. I won't continue to devote time and energy to someone who won't see or speak to me, she is unmoved to do so (or, perhaps, is just doing me a favor, in her way) I am so thoroughly irate over the situation that even if she changed her mind, I am determined to keep going in the same direction at this point. But, I can't say i don't care about her. A lot. I can't say I could knowingly allow her to suffer if there was anything I could do to relieve it. I'll walk away. I am in the process of doing so. She is not in my mind a completely ridiculous percentage of my waking hours. If I receive negative feedback of some sort from her, it is MUCH easier to deal with than at any time in the past 20 years, but I still think, care, and love in significant quantities. I doubt that will ever subside completely. I never reacted ANYWHERE CLOSE to anybody, as I did to her. What troubles me most is being forced to both disengage and do so without explanation, but I agree that this is an improvement over wasted energy....especially this type of energy. So, I hate writing about this cuz it is unresolved. It is a personal defeat, and I don't think i have learned or grown from it at all. I don't fucking get it. Mostly, though....it is a vital aspect of this otherwise worthy (promise) story that I lack the deep understanding of written language and human emotion to explain on even an "unsatisfactory" level. It's different from anything I have experienced. Much different. It's also nothing like anything others have told me they have experienced. It is a conundrum completely self contained and disconnected from everything of its category. And, sadly, it has no chance of resulting in nothing but faikure and heartbreak (breaking news!) But, the good news is the rest of this weird ass story is much more straight forward.
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dwaeki · 3 years
Text
— felix as ur bf (random headcanons)
pairing: felix x gn!reader
genre: fluff
warnings: none other than maybe some slip ups and just poorly written fluff, not proofread, lower case intended!!!
a/n: i'm just bored and need to post so i decided to make this at like 3AM 😩🤝🏻 genuinely dont knownwhat i was writing here but i went with the flow so 😞
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ok lets completely disregard the fact that felix is my ult and i am absolutely whipped for him.
he doesn't sleep early at night especially if he had a bad day at practice or made a lot of mistakes while trying to memorize the choreography to one of their new songs,
so he usually stays up for a little while playing video games on his PC while you sleep over at the dorms.
you're most likely there sitting on his lap, sleeping peacefully while your boyfriend tries to restrain himself from raging and absolutely destroying his expensive keyboard </3
(p.s he has a keyboard that lights up. most likely rainbow cuz idk HE GIVES OFF THOSE VIBES.)
the first time you sat on his lap while he was playing games he just fell in love with that idea
the feeling of your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you rest your head in the crook of his neck is just :(( y/n ure making him feel so loved :((
he's just rlly comfortable and feels at peace.
also when he feels a bit too overwhelmed or just frustrated he stops the game for a little while and wraps his arms around you tightly while inhaling your scent :((
he feels better right away <33
but you dont know that bcuz ure ✨asleep✨
but if he's feeling particularly tired he just plays on his phone
while you're both in bed, cuddling <33
PLUSHIES !! you guys collect a bunch of plushies <3
he likes plushies a lot so if u like plushies too you guys are just a perfect duo. you two are always on a look out for stuffed animals,
felix keeps a bunch of cents in his pockets just in case u find something.
if one of u spots a claw machine outside while you're going out or during an arcade date you're going to drop whatever you were doing before and literally run, leap, fly towards its direction.
"Y/N A CLAW MACHINE !!!!" "OH MY GOD GOGOOGOGO RUN FELIX GO DONT LET THE KID GET THERE BEFORE WE DO"
you two are competitive as hell when it comes to winning a stuffed animal & believe me felix doesnt go easy on you
especially if youre a sour loser cuz he teases you a lot.
it starts off with u two being competitive but ends with the both of you basically throwing all of your money away just to get a single plushie.
one time u hogged the claw machine for a little too long and you didnt even notice the line of kids waiting for the two of u to finally leave for good.
yeah... ure banned from using the claw machine at one of the arcades ... 😬✋🏻
he also lays his head on your lap... a lot.
he just loves feeling close to you so if he's sleepy and wants cuddles he usually just lays his head on your thighs (no matter the shape or size cuz we love all kinds of thighs here, love <3) , grabs your hand and plays with ur fingers.
you already get the message so you're quick to get up and move to the bedroom to cuddle
but if you don't get the message then he starts pouting and sighing dramatically, waiting for u to take the hint
but if ure still not budging then he just lifts you up and quite literally throws you onto the bed so you two can cuddle
(one time u bounced off the bed and hurt your arm... felix almost cried...)
he grumbles a bunch of incoherent words while getting under the covers
squeezes the living soul out of you the second he's under the covers. like ure literally left soulless.
HE'S LITERALLY A HUMAN HEATER SO BEWARE WHEN U CUDDLE IN THE SUMMER !!!
felix doesnt rlly have a favorite position to cuddle in, he likes any and every.
he loves being the big spoon, he loves being the small spoon
but he also rlly loves cuddling face-to-face <33 or maybe ur head buried in his chest :((
loves placing kithes all over your face or pecking your lips during cuddle sessions.
yeah... he's a sucker for physical contact 😚😚
he's also SO whipped for you you don't even understand.
everyone around him can tell that he absolutely adores you and everything you do
one time jeongin mentioned how utterly in love he was and how "disgusting & painful" it was to watch you two interact 😔
and felix was low-key like HELL YEAH IM WHIPPED AND IM PROUD !!!
doesnt care if anyone points out how much he loves u & doesn't deny it either bcuz YEAH!! HE DOES INDEED LOVE U VERY MUCH!!! WHAT ABOUT IT!?!?!!
he also gives the best presents !
he just always knows what to buy anyone he's very close with and the list ofc includes you :D bcuz youre his lover mwuah <3
buys you the best birthday presents, anniversary presents, holiday presents.
it's because he's observant !!
especially when it comes to you. if you eye an expensive outfit that you can't really afford at the moment or there's a fancy restaurant you want to go to, he will keep it in the back of his mind and will take it into consideration ;))
there doesn't have to be a special occurance for felix to surprise you with a present !!
even if the present he's getting you is pretty expensive its still for u and he wants to make u feel as appreciated and as loved as he can. so wasting money on you is never a problem as long as you're happy :((
the fact that he is observant also comes in handy a lot, because he can tell when you're uncomfortable by the small changes in the way you act like the furrowing of your eyebrows or you shift even closer to him, etc.
if it's a public space or an event where you have to socialize and interact with others and he notices you feeling uncomfortable he will take you to a less crowded place to give u a bunch of kisses and reassure you that everything will be just fine <3
he also knows what you like and dislike very well, so it's easier to avoid any arguments in your relationship.
virtual dates !!
he takes you on a bunch of dates on minecraft, roblox, animal crossing etc.
the dates usually happen while he's away on a tour and you two really miss each other </3
the first time he went on a tour he just really really really missed you and your voice
so he called you on discord and suggested that you play minecraft together. you created a new world and just started everything from the scratch.
so every time felix goes on tour you guys call on discord, get on minecraft and add new things to your world <33
your world includes but is not limited to: a huge pink mansion with a pretty backyard filled with flowers, a dog named "seungmo" and a cat named "lino" (as felix suggested you named them ✋🏻)
he once told you that one day you two are gonna get married (if you're willing to ofc) and live a perfect life just like in your minecraft world :((
even tho it was over the top to assume that you two would live in a gigantic pink mansion, it was still endearing and it made your heart melt <3
he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you because he knows you're the one :(
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werewolf-witchboy · 3 years
Text
Tokoyami Fumikage X Male Reader
Being A Witch Boy And Dating Tokoyami
WARNINGS: none uwu
Being a witch has nothing to do with your quirk, you just like practicing the dark arts and witchy things.
I'm not going to mention what your quirk is, so you can imagine that you have whatever quirk you want, or you can imagine yourself as someone without a quirk.
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💀 Tokoyami had been fascinated with your hobby of witchcraft ever since he met you. He was most fascinated with the fact that your actual quirk has nothing to do with how your witchcraft works.
🕯 He had already thought you were cute before, and he had been in that time of his life where he was starting to question his sexuality a little- but after you showed him your witchy interests, he fell hard for you.
💀 He may be a dark and edgy birb boi, but he's also quite shy and awkward. He probably would have never confronted you about his crush if you hadn't told him your feelings for him first.
🕯 When y'all started dating, literally everyone was like "FINALLY!!" cuz it was super obvious that the two of you were meant for each other.
💀 When it comes to what type of witch you are, i'd say you're a witch of all traits.
-You love dark and spooky things, but you also love pastel colors and nature.
-Your room in the class 1A dorm is most likely full of plants, candels, a variety of antiques and trinkets, and shit that you can't buy at stores until it's around Halloween time.
🕯 Tokoyami likes to ask many questions about all of the different types of things you do, and he actually pays attention and is super interested. You'll even teach him some new things, and show him how to do them himself.
💀 You love Dark Shadow as much as you love Tokoyami himself. Though they're both very different in personality, you find them both charming and adorable (despite them both saying they're not "adorable," they're dark and spoopy lmao).
🕯 He also loves your animal familiar.
-Your familiar rarely comes out of your bedroom. Since you're dating Tokoyami, you allow him in your room (which means a lot more than he probably thinks it does, cuz spaces where witches do their magic and recharging are very sacred to them) so he gets to see your familiar quite often.
💀 It's rare for familiars to show affection to anyone that isn't their bonded witch, but your familiar absolutely loves Tokoyami.
-They'll hop onto his lap immediately as soon as he sits down in your room.
🕯 Both you and Tokoyami thrive in the darkness, so there are often times where you both hang around in your dimly lit room cuddled up together just talking all day (or even sometimes laying there in comfortable silence).
-You'll be in there together for so long that all of your friends will start questioning where you're both at, and not even realize that you're just in your room.
💀 He obviously likes you a whole lot, but he's super bad at saying it with words. He's just shy and bashful. BUT THEN DARK SHADOW EXPOSES HIM LMAO-
-You'll be standing there looking super cute, and Tokoyami will just stare at you and want to say something so badly. Then Dark Shadow appears and is all like "wOw yOu'Re sUpEr hOt" and Tokoyami just dies right there in the very spot he's standing cuz he can't believe that just happened.
🕯 That's another thing- Tokoyami stares at you a LOT. He even did it before y'all started dating, but now he doesn't even try to hide it.
-You barely noticed at first, but once you started noticing how often you catch him staring at you, you can't help but tease him a little.
-You'll stare at him back, directly in the eyes, and he'll get super flustered and embarrassed.
-Then to calm him down and make him feel less embarrassed, you'll giggle at his flustered-ness and give him a lil beak kiss...which just makes him even more flustered.
💀 He's definitely the type who wants to be a total romantic, and speak all poem-like to you, and shower you with praises, ect. BUT he gets so flustered when it comes to affection, and second-guesses himself when it comes to his ideas of showing affection.
-He's scared of coming off too strong, or seeming to clingy, or even not doing enough, so he never really gets the chance to act out any of how he wants to show affection- and to top it all off he can't help but be absolutely smitten every time you give him affection of any sort, and he'll not know how to react to it.
🕯 You never call him out on his shyness or how he reacts to your affection, you're not offended with any way he reacts to you. You think it's super cute how innocent he seems when it comes to all of this, and of course you encourage any time he gets a little bit of confidence to hold your hand or compliment you (without the help of Dark Shadow lol).
💀 His feathers get all ruffled when he's flustered, and OMFG it's too cute. 🥺😭
🕯 Something that he loves so much is when you borrow his clothes. Because for him, it's kind of a way to show affection towards you without being super direct about it.
-So him being like "you're cold? here, wear my sweatshirt" translates to "TAKE EVERYTHING FROM ME, KEEP IT FOREVER, I LOVE YOU FJSKDJFHR-"
💀 Don't come @ me- Tokoyami listens to death metal, but he'd totally vibe with something like kpop if you introduced him to it.
-He's definitely a Loona stan.
🕯 Highkey though, now that I think of it- he probably also listens to Joji and Billie Eilish.
-Like, really moody sad boi hours indie music.
-He'd have Will He playing in his headphones, and he'd be all edgy and in his feelings, but he'd also be doing something like baking cookies at the same time lmfao.
-He'd have a playlist named "songs to cry to," but he'd be listening to it while knitting sweaters for puppies or something.
💀 No, you didn't ask me what kind of music that I think Tokoyami listens to, but you got it anyway. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
🕯 If he's at a store, and sees something kinda spooky looking that makes him think of you, he'd quickly get it and think all day of giving it to you, and he'd want to watch you add it to your collection of lil trinkets and antiques.
-....But he'd chicken out so hard I stg.
-This poor baby would rehearse how he'd give it to you in his head over and over again, and then when the time comes to give it to you, he'd get suddenly so tongue-tied and worried if you'd actually like it or not.
-But, of course, you love whatever he gets you every time. Your always super surprised when he gets you something, cuz it's not your birthday or any special day, and you never expect gifts from people.
-Every time you accept a gift from him, you always want to squeal, tackle him, and shower him with kisses- but you resist doing so with all of your being, cuz you know he'd malfunction.
-Instead you very profoundly thank him many times, and give him one especially loving kiss.
-Seeing your extra surprised and happy reaction always relieves him so much, and it makes him want to do it all over again and gift you a whole shop full of trinkets. His lack of hundreds of dollars is the only thing that stops him.
💀 You're the type of person who wears a lot of black, and scatters bright colors here and there within your look. Your style ranges from goth to pastel e-boy.
🕯 You don't like to change other people's styles or tell other people what to wear, but every once in a while, Tokoyami expresses an interest in dressing like you- which you go NUTS over.
-You'll let him borrow your pastel sweaters, and he'll let you put bright colored hairclips in his feathers.
-He now even owns some pastel colored clothing of his own, that you either gifted him or he secretly bought himself at some point.
💀 He used to be shy about changing up his style every once in a while at first. Whenever you'd take pictures of him wearing bright clothes, he'd softly ask you not to show them to any of the others.
-Eventually he became confident enough to go out in public those rare days he'd wear bright colors, and everyone is always super supportive of the different style.
🕯 He had never been in a relationship with another guy before he started dating you.
-He started questioning his sexuality around the time he started high school, but it was never a priority at first because he was more focused on working hard to get into U.A. and thinking about his future being a hero.
-aNd tHeN hE mEt yOu, and now we're here lol.
-ANYWAYS, y'all go to pride parades together.
-Something he isn't shy about is his sexuality, cuz as soon as he realized how he felt about you, he was all in and that was that.
-Y'all go all out for parades with face and body paint, and shirts with your flags on them, and even sometimes bringing signs and flags to hold up and wave around.
-Some of your friends will come with the two of you, whether they're there because they're also lgbtq+ or just because they support it.
-It's the most social the two of you are the entire year, cuz your both introverted lil emos that don't really talk to many people outside of class 1A.
💀 So yeah- I think Tokoyami is highly underrated and I'm extremely soft for him. He's an emo birb boi, what is not to love.
-I believe in emo birb boi supremacy.
-Rise all Tokoyami stans, we shall take over the entire anime world someday.
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I'd like to thank you for talking about being transgender, the "feeling like..." thing, it's really enlightening. I can't say I actually get it since I'm cis, but I think I understand the logic now, and before I was, indeed, confused by this mess with gender roles, gender stereotypes, and representation.
So this is a response from my reply to this post if you want to see what anon is talking about. To add onto that and to your ask:
Ya, it can be really confusing to understand what a trans person means when they say "I feel like a [gender]" cuz gender isn't a feeling. And it causes a lot of misunderstandings. You don't feel like a man. You are a man. But in this context feeling isn't meant as an actual emotion. Much like you can have a "bad feeling about something." We just don't always have the right words to describe the thoughts and reactions our brain and body are having. All I knew when I was 8 was that I wanted to be a boy. I couldn't explain why or how I knew. I just did. Since I couldn't explain it, it got ignored till I actually started learning what being trans was (this isnt a diss on my parents either. They're both great and supportive. They didn't know what trans was either. Also, I was literally 8). And ya, it can be a lot easier to say I "feel" like a man. But it's not really the most accurate or clear way of describing it.
And it doesn't help that dysphoria manifests differently for every trans person. Some people get spiraling depression, can't even take showers cuz they can't handle seeing themselves. Others only have issues when out in public. Some (like me) got so used to the dysphoria and constant discomfort you were able to ignore it since for you it's normal/able to avoid the things that make it get bad-- at least until a certain point (cuz eventually you can't ignore it). It fluctuates too. And it's all caused by your physical body not lining up with what you know it should be, even if it's subconsciously. It's weird and strange and super hard to describe in any universal way. Which is why people often use the phrase "I just always felt like a man/I feel like a man."
But the BIG and major thing that sets apart trans individuals is the fact that it's about the physical body. Even if there were no gender roles, no pressures at all, everyone of every gender is treated the same, everyone was gender blind basically... Trans people would STILL exist. Cuz it doesn't matter about societal pressures. It doesn't matter about gender roles. It's about the actual physical characteristics of the body. And being recognized as the gender you know you are. Being seen as yourself. If someone is talking about "feeling like a man" and starts talking about gender roles then they have a very misunderstood understanding of what trans means.
Thanks for the ask. I'm glad I could help you understand, and I hope the further explaination above helps too. Feel free to reach out again!! :)
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