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inspector-montoya-fox · 2 years

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let’s rank the boss fight locations

this isn’t a ranking of the boss fights themselves, but, let’s be real, the location they take place in plays a major role in their quality and overall vibe. i’ll be looking at the locations of boss fights with the main baddies, and i’m gonna make a separate list for Sly 3′s secondary boss fights (like Tsao’s dragon, which might take place at the end of that episode but is still secondary because we have a boss fight with Tsao himself). let’s take a look:

15. Dimitri’s... Basement ?

this was a mess from start to finish. so, from what i gather, we never got to see this boss fight’s full potential because of cut content? the area has 3 floors and you can explore the entirety of it during the boss fight (idk why SP neglected to put some invisible walls or something to block Sly from going upstairs), so it seems kinda lazy to just have the boss fight take place on the ground floor. it matches the fact that Dimitri’s “superpower” is never explained (which, as some of y’all explained to me a while back, is just him shooting lasers from his ring ???). overall, even if we disregard the “cut content”, it’s very underwhelming: a basement with jars of green goo? it’s giving tiktok star making slime during quarantine 2020

14. Cooper Vault Sanctum

you’re telling me you had us explore the entire Cooper Vault, filled with traps, gadgets and puzzles, just to have the final boss fight take place at... what is it exactly? the wasted potential here is so annoying because imagine Dr Michael chasing Sly throughout the Vault as a prelude to the final fight, which could take place after ConnEr’s section. the awkward cut to Bentley and Murray’s mini boss fight feels misplaced and then we have Sly hiding under his ancestors’ vehicles ??? like for what? why??? it’s just a dull arena with a duller colour palette

13. Jennifer’s Body, dir. by Karyn Kusama (2009)

this one’s weird. i doubt SP had any kinky intentions behind it but crawling up on Carmelita made me uncomfortable. Carmelarga is just one (bizarre) component, though: looking past the unintentional macrophilia, this area was used in the scorpion mission, which was really exhausting, so i don’t know why they chose to use it again. it’s really bland and i feel like it’d be much more interesting to have this take place at the fracking site where Sly and Murray’s mission took place. in terms of location, meh

12. Prague Rooftop

the Contessa’s boss fight is pretty decent, especially once she starts using her hypnosis. the main issue with the location is how dark it is. i had to brighten up the screenshot above because of how little i could see. and i guess it could be argued that the darkness adds to her evasiveness during the fight, but even if that’s true, it takes place on a simple rooftop. it’s not by any means bad, but it’s a bit underwhelming considering she’s been such a threat for two episodes and then treated to no grandeur. both her levels are gothic masterpieces filled with secret rooms so i wish that was incorporated into her boss fight somehow

11. Raleigh’s Blimp/ Panda King’s Pagoda

i’ve grouped these two together because i couldn’t decide which is better. i don’t have much to say here other than the locations reflect aspects of the characters but in the end they’re just boss fight arenas. they’re pretty, used in accordance with the bosses’ gimmicks but yeah, that’s it. average

10. ClockLa Sky Battle

it’s not really serving final boss fight energy (especially because of the turret), but it’s very dramatic. this entry makes it into the top 10 because of the section where Sly has to save Bentley and Murray and everything is falling. that was pretty cool and matches the intensity of the scenario and ClockLa as a final boss. Sly 2′s boss fights benefit a lot from each country’s culture, nature and architecture adding some flavour, so i feel like this was cheated of that, but it’s also nice to have the game end where it begun

9. Plane Wing

i’m not really fond of this boss fight because it’s (a) nonsensical, (b) anticlimactic, and (c) doesn’t fit in with the themes of the level which are otherwise greatly realised. but if we ignore all that and focus solely on its location, it’s great ! straight out of an action movie, truly. guards efficiently come out of the actual plane, as if they’re passengers, and it’s overall really dramatic

8. Jean Bison’s Sawmill

now... normally this would land lower on the list because it’s just come crusty, dusty sawmill with a huge square arena reminiscent of a level from Sonic: The Fighters. and idk it’s bleak, kinda boring. b u t ... the excellent use of the location within the boss fight itself is cool. Bentley using his surroundings to destroy Jean Bison was pretty neat and fit in with the ‘brain v brawn’ theme (even though i fail to see how “brains” have anything to do with learning that pressing square drops logs and pressing circle lights a fire)

7. The Entire Fucking Hub

just like with the Baron boss fight, i don’t particularly like this one. but the fact that you can mess around with Octavio because the boss fight takes place in the entire hub? A+ !!! girl every time i play this godforsaken section, i’m scaling the buildings, taking rides on the gondolas, trying to see if Octavio can keep up, it’s hilarious

6. Ship Mast

a true feminist moment. there’s just something so ultra-masculine about pirates, which is a result of the modern world trying to capitalise on historical figures and moments through gender-based marketing. princesses for the girls and pirates for the boys. charming stuff honestly. anyway having “the boys” fight it out over Penelope and then in the end she herself does a Carmelita leap onto the mast, taking down the patriarchy one yard at a time? being restricted to just side movements was very refreshing, albeit a bit hard to get the hang of at the beginning, but they made it work. i’d love for SP to make more use of the severely underused main hub instead of having the entire boss fight take place on the ship, but as it is, it’s good

5. A Hole

we all love a good hole. both The Black Chateau and A Starry Eyed Encounter have their climactic moments take place in a separate area to their hub, so this was such an interesting surprise. the boss fight location was literally in the hub’s centre the entire time, right under our noses. the walls are too high for Murray to climb and we’re trapped down there with Rajan who growls every opportunity he gets, like papi chill ok? it really gives the sense that there’s no escape, which matches the fact that after this fights, the overall plot transitions to its second act, its most dark. also, the circular shape of the location makes it similar to an arena, which goes nicely with Rajan taunting Murray over his strength. it’s reminiscent of Fight Club, especially once the guards start to jump in from above

4. Muggshot’s Hideout

i’ll admit, this one ranked high because of personal bias brought on by extreme nostalgia, but the atmosphere is so good i couldn’t put put it lower. i’m aware of how bizarre some of its aspects are, like the huge glass shards (?) that literally emerge through the floor never being explained. maybe Muggshot collects fancy glassware, who knows. i’m choosing to give a pass to the fight’s first two sections because the final one more than makes up for it: we face off on a fucking chandelier. i mean, come on. if you really want me to defend this controversial choice, i’ll put my literature hat on and say that the interior here is so kitsch and try-hard fancy, with its purple carpet and crown-decorated mirrors, that it really shows how Muggshot might have tried to escape his upbringing by becoming some sort of... pimp ? but in the end wasn’t able to

3. A Literal Volcano

a volcano lair feels synonymous with villainy, it’s just so dramatic, very Dr Evil. Clockwerk is truly the HBIC, dethroned by no one, and everything drowning in the lava in the background really makes this three-act boss fight one of the most iconic in the series. i love how in the final segment we have to traverse all the machinery and broken pieces to make it to Clockwerk, really forcing Sly to come into close contact with the lava

2. A Croc’s Head

no boss fight encapsulates its level’s aesthetic as well as this. i don’t even know where to start with this one, it’s just so legendary: firstly, we start in a literal crocodile head, which tries to chew us. work. then, the three rooms we move through are decorated in the most demonic, voodoo way, with the side characters bopping around to the beat of the fight amidst the bones, chicken shit and ritualistic candles. like... what more do you want honestly

1. Tsao’s Sanctuary

it’s giving ultimate boss fight. this was iconic from start to finish. we’re thrust into an extremely aggressive atmosphere, an ethereal but spiritually-charged hub with no surfaces to step onto, and given Contessa-level dialogue courtesy of Tsao’s conservatism and good ol’ delusion. this new type of gameplay isn’t hinted at beforehand and the player is stripped of any sense of security due to the fact that we can’t ride away or hide. we duel it out mid-air, before the second segment, which takes place in a seemingly endless bamboo forest, giving Tsao the perfect opportunity to showcase his set of magic attacks. 10/10

#honestly y'all are gonna clock me for what i'm about to say but... the TiT boss fights had cool locations #LOCATIONS. I DIDN'T SAY THE BOSS FIGHTS WERE COOL THEMSELVES #but... huge statue? train? ice cave? castle? yea i can't deny it #i've been working on this post for a week and i think you can tell by the varying lengths of entry descriptions #have two other lists planned: Sly 3 secondary boss fights and Bentley's operations #might do a fourth one with modes of gameplay like hacking and RC car etc.#sly cooper #i wanna see how the full Dimitri boss fight would have played out honestly #i'm gonna start a petition for SP to release the trilogy again but with the Monaco level added #and also S*nzaru's mistakes corrected like the Ruby boss fight #they had one job...#also very curious as to if there is no music during Carmelita's boss fight with Muggshot in the trilogy for everyone or just myself?#it always cuts off in that mission #that and the Ruby bossfight are the mistakes that steak out the most but there's more

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