#and I’m lonely af and have no one to talk to irl and even my sister and mom don’t want to spend time with me so yeah that’s great | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldentsum · 3 years

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━ thirst posts - idol! reader

CHARACTERS: bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki

GENRE: suggestive themes, crack

AUTHOR’S NOTE: finally, another bnha post-- my submissive and overstim fic on my bnha masterlist was lonely so i whipped up another bb HAHAHAHA UNEDITEDDDD

━ bakugou ♡

an angry boy that hides his feelings inside and in social media--.. he has multiple accounts that caters to different moods that he has, there’s the daddydom acct then theres the sweetbabyboi acct-- HE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN SOMEONE FINDING OUT HE HAS THE LATTER ACCOUNT

kacchan loves you because of the fact that you two were different but also similar, with him being angry and intimidating on the surface but a mess of feelings inside and with you being sweet and soft on the surface but a vixen inside

DUALITY-! TODOROKI DOESN’T EVEN COMPARE TO YOU WHEN IT COMES TO DUALITY-! bakugou would fight anyone for you if someone calls bullshit on you. he would 100% NO HESITATION would deck someone--

he def has thousands of pictures of you in his phone and laptop, the ratio of pics of him and other things to you is outstanding,, 1:8 def

HE ALSO SCREAMED ONE TIME WHEN YOU POSTED A VIDEO WITH YOU SHOWING YOUR DUALITY--! everyone in the dorm thought he was angry, in actuality he was hyperventilating because you’re so hot-- also this happens so frequently, class A doesn’t even address it

bakugou: [SCREAMING IN HIS ROOM]

class a: lol, yall hear something--

[(y/n)ssweetboi]: hOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO SOFT THEN TURN SO SINFULLY PRETTY?? I’M SO ANGRY AND SO ATTACKED RN-!! mOMMY NEEDS TO CALM THE TF DOWN AND SHOULD JUST WRAP THE HOLY THIGHS AROUND MY FACE-!

━ todoroki ♡

he’s basically the epitome of head empty just (y/n) 24/7 pls--

people would look at him and think, “huh, i wonder what goes inside that pretty head of his?” then todoroki’s brain just goes: “rAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) “

if someone has a mind-reading quirk, press f for them because of how sinful his thoughts are--

HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE IF ANYONE KNOWS HE’S THINKING OF LEWD THINGS! HE’S SO BRAVE PLS-! SO BRAVELY STUPID AND THIRSTY

in his room, he has a wall and altar that is dedicated for you. all of your merch, the past concert tickets and bands, polaroid pics he got in your albums, and polaroid pics of when he bought the royalty ticket are all on that wall-- yall wondering how he has all that money to afford that? three words. endeavor’s credit card.

this boy goes all out when you have a concert-! HE STAYS UP ALL NIGHT TO WAIT IN YOUR WEBSITE WAITING FOR THE SECOND THE PRE-SELLING OF TICKETS. he refreshes the site every 1 second pls--

shouto: [refreshing the site for the nth time at 3 AM] [clearly sleepy]

site: PRE-SELLING

shouto: [SHOOKEDT] [awake af] i AM SPEED-! CLICK YOU FU-

he’s also so cocky and boast-y on his account pls-! he’s so different in his main and irl

[officially_(y/n)sbabydaddy]: i GOT THE ROYALTY TICKET-! AGAIN! you peasants can’t relate, huh. press f for all of you. i’m going to see my baby mama again <3 a little fact for yall, (y/n) smells really good <3 especially when she’s sweating 🥴 bet she tastes amazing as she smells <3

━ kirishima ♡

baby kiri is still a little shy about mentioning that he likes you and kpop but that doesn’t mean if someone ask him about kpop, he’ll act like he hates it or he doesn’t know.

A CLOSET HARD STAN THOUGH

hard stan kiri goes HARD FR like his quirk and his dicc AND HE CAN’T BE STOPPED IF HE STARTS

he has you being pretty as usual as his lockscreen and got all giddy and happy when his grandmother ask if you were his girlfriend,, bet your ass that kiri said that you are-!

inside his phone though, is a completely different matter-.. this boy has all sort of thirst pics of you! and he gets a little shy when he stares at your pictures for a little too long and makes eye contact with you in the pic LIKE HE WASN’T JUST THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LEWD-!

he and kaminari binge watches you and your group’s web series and THEY ALWAYS WATCH YOUR COMEBACK TOGETHER AND SCREAM TOGETHER

kaminari thinks kiri is a soft stan and tries to get him to join the dark side aka the hard stan side of twitter-- what kaminari doesn’t know is that kiri is on there already and also creates contents here and there 👀

kaminari: bruhh-! look at this edit of (y/n) as a demon-!

kirishima: [looking at the video he edited all night] wow--

[rockhardfor(y/n)]: if you see something in my pants- PLEASE ITS NOT A WEAPON AND JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! i don’t wanna go through that again as i try to explain that a video of a queen throwing it back is the cause of that-- </3

━ shinsou ♡

HIM AND TODOROKI ARE THE SAME WITH HOW THEIR THOUGHTS GET 0-100 REAL QUICK-! LEWD THOUGHTS ARE LIVING RENT FREE IN THEIR BRAIN PLS--

also that tired look on shinsou’s face is not showing what really goes on his head bUT unlike todoroki, he gets conscious of his thoughts when he gets to the real nasty parts when he’s daydreaming as he remembers there’s people with quirks around him

shinsou: [thinks about you getting your guts rearranged by him] hehe~ <3

also shinsou internally: [realizes that someone might know what he’s thinking about] 002223444212487537924 lah la la la laaa! i’m thinking of rabbits-... yeah rabbits lol fluffy rabbits that hops across the garden- nothing dirty here. just pure innocent thoughts

shinsou also creates and reads fanfiction-- as soon as that bell rings, he would zoom zoom out of that classroom and into his room to read smuts

then he gets inspired and he stays up all night to write THE DIRTIEST SMUT ANYONE HAS EVER READ-!! the piece gets A LOT of hearts and comments and he’s PROUD PROUD

now he also has commissions for fanfiction and shinsou is getting money because of how perverted his thoughts are-! he’s also so talented in writing! HE LEGIT GOES INTO DETAILS SO PEOPLE ARE LIKE: “WOAH-!! HOLY WATERRR”

it’s a win-win for shinsou, he can turn his fantasies into stories and GETS money for it? bruh, fap material AND GET CASH <3

[(y/n)as_akittycat]: so is anyone not gonna comment on what (y/n) was doing in the background? KITTY WAS ON H E R KNEESS-!! bruh, kitty is flexible- ya’ll know what this means, right? mORE POSITIONS-! <3

━ kaminari ♡

this boy has no filter THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO GET EMBARRASS BY IT-! LIKE AREN’T YOU THE ONE WHO SAID, “i want to fuck (y/n) so hard that her ancestors could feel it-”

so are you not gonna do it? bruh, talk about empty promises-

HE MAKES SHINSOU SHOOKEDT WITH THINGS HE SAYS AND THAT TIRED BOY MAKES SMUTS-! shinsou def uses kaminari’s lines in his fanfics pls whatta power duo

kaminari: i wanna shove my dick down in (y/n)’s throat and cum so deep, you could see it trailing down her throat--

shinsou: [SHOOKEDT] what the fuck dude?

also shinsou internally: wRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN-!

ONE TIME, he got too excited when you posted a video of your choreography wearing those tiny shorts and he short-circuited-- he really went: “wIEEE~”

he’s cautious now not too excited, especially when he’s outside and you post out of no where

it’s also a miracle that his twitter account is still running with how erotic and lewd he gets in his tweets-- HE ALSO RETWEETS EDITS OF YOUR MOANS IN HIS FEED-! IN HIS MAIN ACCOUNT! HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FAN ACCOUNT

he’s either REALLY FUCKING brave or just plain stupid. maybe both idk

[(y/n)k.denki]: have you ever just look at someone and go, “wow, i would really wanna fuck you hard right now” because i do. everytime i see my queen-- LET ME HIT (Y/N)-! I’LL BE GOOD I SWEARRRRRR

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cinnamonest · 3 years

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Those anons kinda made me realize something, sorry if it's corny! It is what it is, these fics really can help certain people deal with all sorts of situations, including people such as myself that are romantically starved beyond repair. All my life I've been alone, no one has ever looked at me in that nice, kind way. I don't like how these days everything revolves around dating and boyfriends, while everyone's talking about their first kisses and whatnot I'm just sitting there in the background, feeling like a nobody because I am 19 and I've never even held hands properly, let alone went on a date or had my first kiss. When I was out with a friend of mine, he grabbed my hand as a joke because he wanted to mimic the couples around us bc we both single af, and when I tell you I almost teared up because of that 😖 There are of course times when I feel INCREDIBLY blessed to be a walking fuck boy repellent but damn, would it nice to be noticed, to just be someone's first choice.

Everyone always tells me that I'm not dating material, that I am just straight up marriage material, and I get that they sort of mean it as a compliment but it doesn't feel like that sometimes!! I'm 19, I'm not looking to get married rn!!! And all of the guys I have met make it so clear what they want, they don't even bother to hide it 😤😤😤

But yeah, your fics, and just writing in general just kind of helps me cope with my lonely little heart. I would NEVER actually date a yandere irl but, doesn't the idea of someone loving you so much that they're willing to do anything for you sound SO APPEALING? It doesn't help that I live in a pretty small area and I do not fit in here at ALL.

Apologies for dumping all of this on you! Your writing really is amazing, you obviously pour a lot of love into it. You're amazing Lena, feeding all of us degenerates!

Noooo you're fine!! I am actually like super glad that my horny energy has provided good things for people tbh it was unexpected... I didn't think I would be appreciated beyond just fulfilling horny needs but I'm really happy I can provide comfort for people too :3

Also tbh it's good to hold off on things as long as possible like... I know way too many people that got married and had kids by 16-20 and it's 😬😬 not good... And yeah I can certify from Firsthand Experience™ you do NOT want to date an obsessive dude irl. And tbh quality over quantity like... There are so many fuckboys and bad dudes in this world but I find that typically the people that attract less guys tend to attract higher quality ones which is a good thing really. And also that's totally normal!! Iirc most people don't really get into dating until college and I didn't really either :p

#lena's asks #q

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retrievablememories · 3 years

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this is me trying | lucas

title: this is me trying pairing: lucas x black!reader genre: angst request: “Hey do you think you can do a sequel about Lucas’ No manners like an aftermath of what happened after he hung up on her and what she’s been up too all this time. And what Lucas decided to do.” word count: 2.1k warnings: mentions of infidelity, mentions of an abortion, relationship problems, cursing a/n: that banner is boring af, but photoshop is a bitch who didn’t save my previous file and i don’t have time to play all night

the sequel to no manners. okay... i decided to go for a different type of ending here since i tend to make the couple break up/stay broken up in these angsty stories...and i know people tend to like endings where things are resolved...though EYE personally would not recommend this irl 💀

It’s been a few months since you’ve seen Lucas on any video call, and even longer since you’ve seen him in person. These couple months alone have seemed even longer and more tiresome than the previous duration of time when you were kept apart from him.

You haven’t heard from him in that time span, either, which makes you feel...it’s hard to know how to feel, especially with how you yourself froze him out to avoid admitting the truth. It’s easy enough to know what he’s doing through WayV’s posts on YouTube and Instagram and wherever else, but you don’t enjoy knowing next to nothing about how he’s doing—like you’re merely another fan when you’re actually his wife.

You also understand, though, that maybe you don’t have much room to complain with your previous actions. That doesn’t make it any less painful. Especially with him ignoring your small attempts to reach out to him.

Despite Sharia’s earlier advice, you decide to stay at your job and continue avoiding Daniel at all costs. Staying at home and having nothing to do during this conflict would only make you slip further into depression, which is the last thing you need right now. You’re in no state of mind to be trying to find another job and doing countless interviews, either.

Luckily, Sharia doesn’t mind helping you stay away from Daniel or create the perfect facade that your marriage is still doing fine despite it being the exact opposite. Everyone at your job still thinks things are as they have always been, and you’re relieved for that.

That’s about the only point of relief in your life, though.

You’re reaching the end of your limit with how much you can endure of staying in that same house without Lucas, being reminded of him in every corner of every room. His clothes in the closet, his side of the bed, his favorite coffee mugs in the kitchen. You’ve already tried hiding some of his things out of sight so you wouldn’t have to face unwilling memories, but it’s too difficult to completely erase a presence that fills every aspect of your home. And that’s not something you really want to do, anyway—which makes you feel more downtrodden and unable to let go.

You decide you need to get out, get away, change your surroundings. It’s wearing you thin to keep coming back to this empty house everyday, drifting around the space like a misplaced ghost. If you stay here another month, you think you might lose your sanity once and for all. So, eventually, you start packing. Sharia doesn’t mind letting you stay over for a little while, and you are grateful for the welcome distraction and comfort that being in her company will provide.

On a day when you’re making the last few preparations to leave for Sharia’s place, you hear a car pulling up in the driveway. You’re confused for a few seconds, as you weren’t expecting any visitors and today isn’t the day Sharia is supposed to come over. However, your heart kicks up in its rhythm when you go to the window in the kitchen to check. It’s Lucas’s car.

For a few moments, you’re unsure what to think or how to react. You’ve wanted to see him for so long, but now that he’s here, you want him gone again. What will he say when he sees your things packed? Will he even care? Most importantly, what has he come here for, after all this time?

You don’t have much more time to think about these things before Lucas is getting out of the car and walking up to the door. You stand in your spot in the kitchen, frozen as the key turns in the lock.

Lucas walks into the house cautiously, as if he doesn’t know how to properly approach this environment after being gone for so long. When he catches sight of you through the kitchen entryway, he stops in his tracks, still standing in the living room.

Both of you stare at each other for a few long and agonizing seconds. His eyes are still weary and hurt like they were the night you told him the news, but there’s a question floating there, too.

“You’re not…?” His eyes drop down to your stomach, the front of your shirt, and it looks the same as he remembers it being months ago, before he left for China, despite you telling him of your pregnancy. If there’s one thing he remembers, it’s that.

“No,” you respond quietly, “There’s no way I could go through with it.”

Lucas pauses, then nods, though he doesn’t say anything else for a few long moments—nothing to explain his sudden appearance, nothing to comment on the decision you made.

He shoves his hands into his pockets and looks at the ground, shifting his jaw.

“What...did you come here for?” you finally ask. The words sound harsh to your ears, and you wince internally, but you don’t know what else to do to make some kind of headway.

“Just...getting some things.” Lucas rubs the back of his neck warily, as if he’s not sure this is the right answer. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be here right now at all, having this conversation with you.

“Getting some things,” you echo. “Are you…” You’re not sure what you want to ask right now. “Leaving?”

“What’s the point of questioning me about it? Aren’t you doing the same thing?” Lucas’s eyes shift to one of your suitcases in the middle of the living room, still sitting open.

“Yes, but...you don’t even understand why I’m doing it. You’re just leaving. Are we both just going to abandon this house without even talking it out? That’s just the end of everything?” Now that you’ve found your voice again, the questions keep coming.

Lucas comes forward to step into the kitchen. “What would you like to say? What else is there that I need to know? You were drunk and lonely, weren’t you?” That phrase comes out with a sneer, which makes you wince like you’ve just had something physically thrown at you.

“I’ve spent months agonizing over this shit, Yukhei. I’ve felt completely alone and in the dark here. I had the abortion, I’ve been to therapy, I haven’t even looked at alcohol since then. I’ve seen the error of my fucking ways, believe me, and I still feel no more reassured about any of this.”

“Do you think that’s going to solve everything?” Lucas says, crossing his arms and staring at you from across the room.

“I don’t know! Maybe I didn’t do it for you. I did it because I didn’t want to have another man’s child! I did it for myself, to feel back in control of myself!”

“Y/N, you can do whatever you need to make this easier for you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to come running back to you.”

You sigh heavily and sit down in the kitchen chair, rubbing your hands over your face. “Maybe it’s a mistake for me to hope we can work something out at this point, but I long ago realized that living without you is next to unbearable. Why do you think I’m trying to get the fuck out of here? Everything here is ‘you.’” You don’t look at his eyes during any point of this speech, just instead staring at your hands where they meet on the table. “I see that if you want to leave, I won’t be able to stop you. But at least give me a proper explanation and a clean break like a human being.”

Lucas falls quiet again. You think he might just leave you there to get his stuff and go back to wherever he wants to go, but he sits in the chair across from you. You still don’t look at him.

“I also missed you a lot,” he admits, quietly, as if he doesn’t want to say it where it can be heard. “I didn’t really want to. But. Obviously, those emotions don’t just go away…”

You simply nod, not knowing the right way to respond to that.

“You still wear your ring,” he says it flatly, like it’s an insignificant observation. You can’t tell whether he’s surprised at it or judging you for it, for whatever ridiculous reason.

“Did you not want me to?” you say, irritated. “We are still married. And I don’t need the people at work asking questions.”

He nods as if he’s just understood something and the realization of it has made him even more displeased. “Right, of course, it’s all about looking good. Maintaining the lie, right?”

“It��s not about that,” you snap. “You should know that more than anyone. No one even knows I’m fucking married to you except Sharia. God forbid I don’t want to hear more bullshit from Daniel about my marriage, I guess.”

Lucas’s face is still for a moment, and then his eyebrows crease. “Does he still bother you?” The words leave his mouth tentatively.

“Of course he does, Yukhei. Whenever I can’t get away from him completely. He’s not just going to stop because my life has turned to shit and my husband hates me—which he doesn’t even know.”

Lucas shakes his head and sighs. “Don’t guilt trip me.”

“I’m only stating what clearly seems to be a fact now.” Then you get up from the table, weary of the conversation and even more hurt by the fact that he didn’t try to deny your statement. “Now, if you want to get your stuff, go get it. I won’t hold you up any longer. Though—you should think about preparing for a divorce if you’re really done here.” You walk out of the kitchen before waiting for his response, missing the way he stiffens in his seat.

You sit in the living room fussing over your suitcase for a long while before he decides to walk into the room. “Look...I don’t know how to feel about all this right now, but I’m not sure if that’s what I...want.”

“...What.”

“Y/N. I’m saying, I don’t think I want to...separate.”

“Then what do you want? To keep dragging me around with an empty marriage while you move on with your life? Just file the damn papers or I will.” You’re angry with him now, and a few tears slip out. You feel like you’re being thrown around at this point, and you have no clue what his intentions are. You get even more upset with yourself for crying, though there’s no reason to be.

“I don’t fucking know. Just not...this.” Lucas is deflated and maybe just as lost as you are, though you don’t want to acknowledge that while you’re still upset at his indecisiveness. He sits on the couch with you, and you’re partly surprised that he even still wants to be anywhere near you with how he was acting and talking earlier.

He seems a little shaken to see you openly crying, as if he’s never seen it happen before. Like all of this is once again new to him. Lucas puts his head in his hands, bearing a striking resemblance to the image of him doing the same thing the day you told him what happened.

You both make for a pitiful sight on the sofa like that, sitting as far from each other as possible but hurting over the same thing. Finally, Lucas takes his hands away from his face and, tentatively, as if you might shove him away, reaches for your hand. He covers it with his own, curling his fingers around yours slightly.

You stare at his hand on top of yours, bare without his ring, unsure how to react to it. You look to your side, though he doesn’t meet your eyes at first. There’s another crease between his brows.

“Just let me...figure some things out. We—we could...figure some things out, together. Before we...think about taking that step.” This response is still just shy of giving you a definite answer, but it gives you a small, painful hope that maybe things aren’t destroyed forever.

You nod, wiping some of your tears away. You’re almost afraid to take your eyes from where your hands are joined, as if you’ll discover it was just some mirage or figment of your imagination if you look away.

“Okay...we can do that. If...you want to try.”

Lucas looks at you fully now, his eyes impossibly deep with things he’s already said and has yet to say to you, and nods back—a tiny movement, but it’s there and true all the same.

#lucas scenarios #lucas fic #lucas imagines #lucas angst #wayv #lucas #wayv lucas #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fic #nct angst #ambw #ambw fic #ambw kpop #ambw imagines #ambw scenarios #ambw angst #kpop ambw

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wellhalesbells · 3 years

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I was tagged by @aceinthesheets - thank you!!!

Rules: answer the questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

Name/Nickname: entirely depends on who’s talking to me. no one calls me madeline, it’s pretty much maddie all the time. pie/pid squid for my parents. stinkypotamous or a word i have no idea how to spell because it’s arabic but sounds like ‘fatoosi,’ which means roughly the same thing. cal is what all the fandom friends i know irl call me.

Pronouns: she/her

Star sign: pisces

Height: five foot even

Time currently: 7:16am

When is your birthday: march 2nd

(Current) Favorite Band/Group: ummm, i don’t really have one? i have different favorites depending on my immediate wants. been listening to a lot of glass animals and jessie reyez tho.

Song Stuck in Your Head: (bling) confessions of a king, by the killers. i was literally singing it at the top of my lungs while doing dishes this morning.

Last Movie You Watched: vox lux. what a weird one, that was, and truly not where i saw anything going at all. i mean, you watch the first half of the movie and then the second half of the movie comes along and goes: BETCHA WEREN’T EXPECTING THIS??? i was not.

Last Show You Binged: so got bad news on wednesday, just like.... regular ‘pandemic life is hard af in case you forgot, good luck trying to accomplish anything’ news, and depressed-watched almost all of 911: lone star in a day

When You Created Your Blog: fucking hell - 2012

Last Thing You Googled: ‘melvin capital hedge fund’ - honestly the only thing that’s made me feel better in the last couple days is following this saga of the poors literally decimating the rich.

Other Blogs: not really, my sense8 one is pretty much inactive *shrugs*

Why I chose my url: i wanted a fandom specific one of a fandom i was actually in and ‘halesbells’ was taken, haha.

Do you get asks: not a ton but it’s not irregular, i’m bad about answering them mostly (though some i ignore on purpose) and the ones that are a lot of work i save for later - have one of those now, i’ll get to it though, nonster!

How Many People Are You Following: 94

How Many Followers Do You Have: super duper close to 4600

Average Hours of Sleep: i have no idea what the average would be, it’s so wildly skewed. i’m doing this on no sleep :)))) which is not unusual

Lucky Numbers: nah

Instruments: i tried to learn the guitar when i was a kiddo but i had that thing (i have gotten an ass-ton better about this) where if i wasn’t immediately amazing at it, i no longer wanted to do it

What I’m Currently Wearing: black joggers, a pink long-sleeved schrute farms shirt with pocketssss, and big glasses with brown frames and gold glitter on the arms that i cannot see anything at all without *curtsies*

Dream job: an acquisitions editor

Dream trip: i have no idea honestly, i moved to pnw because this was my dream place to be and i’m kinda still dwelling in the fact that i did that, that happened, and i was right, this is where i want to be, so not fantasizing about being other places so much :)

Favorite food: unagi nigiri

Nationality: american

Favorite song: another thing i don’t do, i’ve been stuck on ‘heat waves’ by glass animals for a while now though

Top Three Fictional Universes You’d Like To Live In: the starless sea, by erin morgenstern - a universe that loves readers and stories that much? yes, that is the place i belong, thank you. the secret history, by donna tartt, pretentious, privileged new england college students living as hedonistically as possible, speaking ancient greek, and murdering people for the aesthetic of it, like, why the fuck not? also, i wanna chill with henry winter, that’s my boy right there. honestly, probably jane eyre, by charlotte bronte, that book was literally just people going: wow you’re dull and ugly, better learn to sew! and it was just..... totally acceptable. rochester asks jane if he’s attractive and she’s like: nah, dude, but i love you anyway, you’re welcome. i would be so happy there, just crying laughing in a corner.

tagging: whoever wants to do this!

#meme #meme answers #uh oh i've found the keyboard again

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iseleylaura · 4 years

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3, 7, and 13 (if you’re okay with it) from the ask game?

you’ve chosen two of my favourite numbers 👀👀 (not for the ask game specifically, just numbers in general lol)

let’s see — I’ll take my time answering these since I have nothing better to do atm!

3🌼Are there any fictional characters you relate to/identify with?

Why of course; this is primarily a fanart blog after all ;)

Marinette Dupain-Cheng (Miraculous Ladybug): Marinette gets SUPER socially awkward, especially around people she finds attractive or is crushing on. If I see an attractive person in public, it’s all over. I guarantee I will make the interaction the most awkward thing. ALSO she is a seamstress! I love sewing, especially cosplay costumes

Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock): Poor bean is just socially and emotionally repressed to the point where he thinks everyone just hates him so he acts aloof as a façade of self-confidence (uhh haha me??). This is how I’ve been like my whole life irl (Internet-me is v different from actual-me). He’s not the best with empathy, and he uses logical reasoning 99% of the time — which is what I innately do too. Both he and I have had to learn how to be compassionate through the very few people we’ve trusted enough to get close. Selfish and unyielding; can’t be bothered to pretend to be interested in something. HATES small talk. Will be rude if necessary. Needy and clingy af from those they want attention from. We also have a hard time recognizing social cues and get very absorbed in our work when we’re passionate about something. Deep down, we’re both just touch-starved biology nerds.

Sophie Hatter (Howl’s Moving Castle): she sees herself as plain/vanilla, which is something that I’ve been told I am irl multiple times and subsequently, believe too. Basically I’m waiting for my Howl to show up and be like ‘nah bby ily.’ She also gets petty aggressive when things aren’t clean and is definitely a ‘if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself’ kind of person, which — same. She doesn’t suffer fools lightly, and neither do I. BUT she secretly loves to dote on the people she loves, even if they are high maintenance

707 aka Luciel aka Seven aka Saeyoung Choi (Mystic Messenger): Is literally just vibing and memeing all day bro. He has an eccentric sense of humor, which isn’t quite ‘lol rawr xD’ but LIKE it’s the contemporary version of it that only the people of tumblr.com can truly comprehend. He is definitely a geek/weeb and introverted af, but can be loud and outgoing when he wants to be (me me me me). Doesn’t give a FUCK about gender — let’s horde all the styles, fem today, masc tomorrow. I wish he were real, because we’d get along so well. Honestly — he’s my fictional soulmate, and I can’t complain about it, because at least he exists in one form, real or not. :’))

Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club): Is perpetually unimpressed by the caveats of corny rich people. Is easily won over by the promise of good food. Literally so self conscious of her own behaviour in situations that she cannot tell if someone is flirting with her or being genuinely pleasant. Like Sophie, she doesn’t suffer fools lightly — which again, I do not either lmfao. EASILY EMBARRASSED. BOTH LIVING IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF MORTIFICATION. We’re both also academically inclined/rational thinkers, though Haruhi is probably most certainly going to be more financially successful as a lawyer than I’ll ever be making my crafts :))))

Merlin (BBC Merlin): Moody introvert, good with hands, falls in love with the sunshine extrovert type (oh, me?). Ends up doing the entire group project, is never rewarded individually for it. Feels constantly overwhelmed with the burden of existing and feels like no one will ever truly understand or know their true motives/feelings. Has a lot of secrets/thoughts they’d never voice aloud for fear of rejection (or being #cancelled). Feels really lonely a lot of the time, but has friends that enjoy his company. LOVES animals; considers animals easier to get along with than humans — hard agree. Also, dragons — aspec represent.

7🌼Describe your aesthetic in emojis.

✨🌿👒🐇🦔🍄🌞🍓♥️

13🌼What is your home situation like?

It’s stable, and has always been relatively. I know I am very privileged in that way, especially with my parents always having been together. I have siblings. I live in a house. I have a degree. I have resources that allow me to pursue my hobbies. We’ve always been middle class people.

However, the recession from 2008 ish basically signaled the downfall of the industry that both my parents worked for. Since then, my mom has only worked on yearly basis, and it’s never guaranteed if she’ll be hired again after each year. My dad, after a decade long period of laying off people, is somehow one of the surviving staff members at his work, and will likely finally get laid off by the end of the year bc of the pandemic (and the inevitable death of the industry, as mentioned above).

For me personally, I’ve been unimployed since last August. Mainly, this is bc I was in college until last December when I graduated. Since the new year, I’ve literally just been at home doing personal projects since I can’t get a job since I graduated literally when the pandemic started.

Also, I realized that I don’t want a job related to what I majored in (lmfao so cliche). I honestly feel very lost as to how to progress with my life because while I have specific things I want to do and become and accomplish, I feel like the odds of them ever happening is very slim. I know in my heart that I need to do something creatively fulfilling, but it’s really hard to make any sort of living with your art or Etsy or YouTube channel or whatever.

So basically I’ve declared 2020 a dud year; and I’m desperately hoping that I can find a job/career/sense of purpose in 2021 :’))))

Sorry for the long response, but I enjoyed thinking these things through for all of the internet to see yay.

thank you for your asks!💞

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serenagaywaterford · 5 years

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Hello, I really don’t know who to talk to but I’m realizing I’m a lesbian after identifying as bisexual since 2016, I came out to my parents and they’re both supportive and happy for me. I’m a highschooler and it’s awkward being gay and no one knowing as ppl tease me to date my guy friends. Any tips or advice in general on being a lesbian? It’s still so weird to talk about but I wanna grow to be very open with my sexuality

Been there. (I used to insist I was straight (for YEAAAAARS I was with the same guy), then bisexual cos I thought I had to be since I was “straight” and not particularly conflicted about it for so long. So it’s a process and a journey getting here no matter what, and everyone takes different routes.) And I’ll be honest, you’re way ahead of the game already. Good for you and you should be proud and happy with yourself for being so self-aware and in touch with yourself. That takes a lot of insight and courage.

I think generally… people will say a lot of things but until you are comfortable being around your friends and family as yourself, it’s never going to be easy. It’s not easy when you’re out either but at least you’re not stuck hiding who you are and adding that level of tension to every interaction. To be honest, I was never particularly comfortable with myself. Not even when I got married to another woman. (My issues with the institution of marriage aside…) But in my job I basically am forced to come out daily to complete strangers, constantly, with the words “my wife”. It gets way, way easier and I’m lucky enough to be in a place and a position that affords me that freedom. Not everyone is.

Are the people teasing you your friends? I mean, high school fucking sucks. I don’t even care how people want to romanticise it after the fact, or in media, or whatever. Even the best experiences are littered with a bunch of drama. We’re all idiots in high school and we all treat our friends like shit half the time, even our best friends. I didn’t have a bad time in high school. In fact, I’d say it was pretty good overall. (I wouldn’t do it again, mind you.) But still, the shit you put up with from friends is just excessive, and also the shit you give friends–or at least the shit I gave my friends lol. It’s just so… ugh.

So, I mean, without knowing much more about the situation, I would confide in my good friends. Unless, for some reason that endangers you in some way. And yes, unlike some hardcore people, I do think social ostracization in high school is damaging. I don’t buy into the whole “Well, if they don’t like it fuck them, all you need is you!” cos that’s bullshit. You DO need friends in high school, even if they’re not perfect friends, even if you won’t stay friends with them in a few years. Having social support is incredibly important and to be alienated completely is lonely and leaves you vulnerable, and you miss out on stuff too. I mean, if your friends are complete total assholes, then by all means, drop them cos that won’t help and you may be better off alone, but if they’re only sort of annoying, well… That’s life, lol. Until you get out of the fishbowl of high school and people being to calm the fuck down about every tiny drama, there aren’t a lot of options. I found my best friends annoying af sometimes, and some of them had views on certain subjects that fucking pissed me off. But hey, at the end of the day, we still got along and had a bond, and worst came to worst almost all of them would be there for me, and me for them, despite some differences.

Are those the type of friends you have? Or do you think your friends would turn on you if you confided in them?

It’s so lonely to hold onto a secret like that, and constantly put up with what I’m sure they think is harmless teasing about boys. It can hurt you, and god, it’s fucking irritating on top of everything else. And, I hate to say this, but that sort of thing NEVER ENDS. It gets less and less, but I’m literally married to a woman for like 2 years now and a dude friend of ours just last week asked us if maybe we both just hadn’t found the right men yet. And on the subject of sex, he said, “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” to my wife. Interestingly, she is not a gold star and knows very well what hetsex is like (she fucking HATES it on every imaginable level), but she’s just never volunteered that information for public consumption. Still, as you can see, you’ll always have stupid imbecile friends who say stupid ass comphet shit to your face, even when you are blatantly a lesbian. Unfortunately, it one of those things you just have to… learn to deal with. I hate that we must.

I know that’s not exactly helpful or hopeful, but it’s reality. So these dumb friends of yours, maybe they’re not doing it to be hurtful or annoying, they just genuinely think you like boys. There’s only really one solution to get them to stop (and even that isn’t going to be a guarantee) and that’s to come out to them–only if you can. Tell them how it makes you feel. Share with them what you’ve said to me. It’s hard enough to exist as a lesbian right now, let alone having to hide and be shamed for it. Friends should get that. But all of them may not…

I had one friend who was super open with her “sexuality” (she’s an attention whore, lbr.) who, when I told her finally that I think I wanted a girlfriend, she was super supportive. Then when the group of them were going to a gay club, I said I’ll tag along and she told me no. And her exact words: “You look too straight. Nobody will talk to you and I don’t want people to think I’m straight too.” (SHE IS STRAIGHT, just for the record. But she likes to steal girls’ boyfriends by doing threesomes, pretending to be into girls, threesomes, and poly, and then manipulating the boys into dumping their gfs. She also likes to breakup girlfriends just to prove she can. She has NEVER been in a relationship with a woman, only breaks lesbian couples up and then fucks off. She tried it with me and my girlfriend once. Nice friend. Just so we all know what she’s like.)

Note: These were my high school friends, and I was in my mid-20s at this point. We’d been friends for over a decade. And they still said shit like that. (And I mean, in some way, I get it cos when we’d go out to non-gay spots I’d get picked up by men CONSTANTLY, and women never looked at me that way. It was super aggravating.)

Which, it turns out, was her way of saying “You’re competition and I don’t want you around.” (and she’s obsessed with stereotypes), cos when I started going to gay clubs and parties with other friends who weren’t douchebags about it, NOBODY judged me like that. And I remember meeting my wife for the first time and telling her that story and she was just like “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! You do look super straight but I like you and I’m super gay”. And then she took me to a lesbian bar, and I didn’t change a thing about myself, and was picked up by all sorts of girls, and really hit it off with the cutest butch girl I’ve ever seen to this day. (It didn’t end up going anywhere but still, it was nice to learn that sometimes your friends are just insecure assholes.) It really is dependent on who they are, where you live, etc. etc. And those are only things you know. I can’t comment on what the best course of action is without knowing the nitty gritty.

SO, that’s a long way of saying, people suck. Even your friends sometimes. It’s going to be difficult for a while as you weed those sorts of people out of your life. Being an open lesbian is rocky, especially at first when everything is sorta all over the place. But it does settle down, and you make better friends. And since your parents are supportive that is a HUGE hurdle you don’t have to deal with, which is absolutely AMAZING :) It’s so nice to hear.

But if you’re not able to come out and get support IRL, that’s fine too. My advice is what you’ve already done :) Come online and reach out to older lesbians. They’re the ones with the experience. If it wasn’t for the older lesbians in my life (either online or IRL that I met, including my wife), I’d be so much more insecure. I would probably still be walking around feeling a lot of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, shyness, confusion, etc.

But there’s something comforting about talking with women who have lived the same struggles, and hear about all the paths they all took and the ways they’ve dealt with specific issues. And they’re generally more calm, more realistic, and more compassionate than other baby dykes who aren’t in a privileged, secure position yet. Not that there is anything wrong with bonding with others of the same age. That is also INCREDIBLY important because those experiences will directly reflect your own, and there’s built-in support with peers. The things older lesbians have been through may not translate as well for you. A lot of us didn’t have the same pressures of social media, etc. But we also didn’t have the same online resources available either. So, it’s an interesting balance. I will say my friendship with my best friends from university (one is a lesbian too, one is straight as an arrow but a huge ally) are just as important cos age is a factor.

You can get insight from older women, but you need peer bonds too.

Online I think is very important nowadays, especially when you’re not able to go to spaces like gay clubs and bars yet. And surround yourself with positive lesbian representation. If that whole soft cottagecore thing does it for you, keep that in your orbit. But also never be ashamed or fearful of the sexual part of your sexuality. Just like it’s natural to romantically love women, it’s natural for lesbians to physically love them too.

I feel like as toxic overall as tumblr is, there are corners of it that have been incredibly supportive and nurturing even to me. Especially lesbian positivity blogs and women’s arts, etc. Poetry written by lesbians is beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s a whole genre I had no idea existed, and that has given me a great deal of peace because I can finally relate to words. Music, written and performed by gay and bisexual women is the same. It may seem trivial or cheesy, but it’s powerful to hear about women like you in songs. I have to say Mary Lambert, for one example, helped so much. I remember listening to Alix Olson in secret too when I was much younger (maybe that should have been something of a hint to myself, lol.) King Princess and Girl In Red are current faves, Saara Aalto, Shura and Brandi Carlile are a constant faves I always love (not that I even knew that about Brandi’s sexuality til recently cos I apparently live under a fucking rock lol), but I have whole lists now and it’s wonderful to have taht access.

When you’re all alone, seeking out lesbian musicians and writers can make so much difference in easing that isolation, and confusion, and fear. They speak to you and about us, as a whole. It’s affirming and less lonely.

Same goes for well-written fanfiction. Things that avoid the drama of fandom (cos there’s so much drama even when you have canon f/f pairings), because fandom is really just microcosms of society at large with all the same morons in it. But fanfic was such an escape where I could learn and explore all the things that most everywhere wouldn’t show me. TV shows touched on it (especially back 10 years ago there was like nothing), but fanfic made it real.

Even when you’re feeling secure, I think it still helps to have all the representation we can, and just… you know, revel in it.

Do not watch porn. Don’t. It’s awful and horrible and not at all realistic. A well-written fanfic by actual gay or bi women is way more helpful. Avoid porn at all costs. It will never teach you anything your body doesn’t already know about how to be with a woman (although I’m sure for you this isn’t a pressing concern at the moment). I just know that I made the mistake of it, and also stupid ass magazine/how to articles. Ignore ALL that junk. When you get a girlfriend there’s only ONE thing you need to know how to do, and that is communicate honestly. Everything else falls easily into place.

When you say it’s so weird to talk about it, I feel that. It took me YEARS to even really be able to comfortably say the word, especially in relation to myself. That feeling will pass. It’ll take time and don’t push yourself into any sort of thing you’re not ready for. You’ll feel weird about it probably, and that’s on society, not you. “Lesbian” still does have a stigma attached to it that a lot of people are afraid of or dismissive of. Just… try your best to tune that out. That’s all you can do. You’ll feel comfortable eventually. :) Give it time. You’re already doing well. The fact you can say it to me, even as anon, is beautiful.

You’ll be very open one day if that’s what you want and being a lesbian, and being seen as one, will be second nature. I mean if I think about myself at 20 and now, there’s a very big difference. I used to shy away from so many things, and dress particular ways to avoid things, now I’m definitely not giving nearly as many fucks. Also, I’ll say here that I own a bar. It’s not a gay bar, but almost every day we’re open, at least one lesbian couple will come in. And honestly my heart grows so big and warm every single time. (Gay men come in too, ofc.) But there’s something particularly ecstatic in me that I get to see that everyday. (I don’t actually have many gay friends at all.) I love the openness and acceptance and comfort. And I love telling people there that I own it with my wife, and see people’s faces light up. (Some don’t… but, meh, that’s real life too. I’ve had a few shitty fucking people come in too.) There are a lot more lesbians and bi girls around than we probably know. :)

You are not alone. Even if it’s only talking to people online, you’re never alone.

And never get discouraged that other people seem to having an easier or better time at it. Everyone moves differently, and for some it is easier, some it’s way more difficult but that doesn’t mean you need to pressure yourself, or change. I took my way exceptionally slowly and awkwardly, but ya get there eventually if you surround yourself with genuine people.

It sounds cliche but it does get easier talking about yourself as a lesbian as long as you surround yourself with positive lesbian content/people, and it takes practice (sometimes a lot of it as I’ve learnt), especially dealing with internalized stuff. But you’ll get there. You’re still super young and you have so much ahead. :D

I don’t have specific personal advice about how to handle it all in high school cos I didn’t have to deal with that. Just that there’s a whole world outside high school, even though it may not feel that way sometimes. If you’re in a small town or in a country where it’s not accepted, you’ll have a harder time finding love but it is ALWAYS possible, somehow. Never feel like there is nobody at all. There is. There’s some cute, hot, smart, interesting girl somewhere that will be into you as much as you’re into her. It’s just a matter of time til you find each other. If nothing else, in the mean time, you can form friendships and bond with people online in various ways.

I wish somebody had told me in my teen years that it’s possible to be in love with a woman, that I’m going to kiss girls one day and suddenly everything else is going to make sense and feel right after so long of things not quite fitting together, that it’s just as possible to be fulfilled with a woman as it is with a man. I wish someone would have told me I’d be loved by a woman in ways that nothing else would ever match. That I’d touch women and feel at peace with myself, and being intimate with them will change my whole life, and it’s something I was meant to do and feel. That loving women will help me love myself in a way that I never realised, and that just goes back and forth forever cos if you love yourself, loving other people is so much easier. And not to fight that cos I’m too scared to face the not so nice parts about being out. Bad shit is gonna happen no matter what, but better stuff will make up for it. I wish someone had told me that “lesbian” isn’t a bad word (I grew up with a lot of homophobia everywhere, including my family), and that I will cringe when people call me that initially but that should force myself to use it at first, cos it’ll get way better and feel right the sooner that happens. It is what I am, and I can’t avoid it forever. Own it. Cos as soon as you do, the sooner they can’t use it against you the same way anymore. But nobody said any of that to me.

And never, ever let anybody ever guilt, shame, manipulate, or pressure you into anything you don’t feel is right for you or your body. You’ll feel it deep down what you want and need, and what you don’t want and don’t need. Don’t ignore that. Don’t let anybody talk, guilt, scare, or shame you out of that. It may be hard but you already seem very strong and self-aware.

You’re not thinking wrong, you’re not made wrong. There’s a lot of that around in our society and lesbophobia is very alive still, everywhere.

You don’t need to find the “right man”. Ever. There’s no perfect high school boyfriend waiting for you if you’re a lesbian. There’s a girlfriend waiting for you. More than one, probably! You’ll love many women throughout your life and they’ll return it back to you. You’ll have friends that love you and support you. And when you say, “I’m a lesbian” it’ll roll off your tongue as easily as your name. Or your wife’s name. :) And you won’t feel any twinges of awkwardness or shame.

I wish you nothing but love and kindness, anon. Xx

And, also, anybody can ask me anything, btw. I generally really fucking suck with advice but my askbox is always here, if anybody needs it.

#Anonymous #baby lesbians are my fav precious beans and i am here for you 100000%#tho i am hardly an expert tbh. just an idiot finding her way through it all too.#long post

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lexosaurus · 5 years

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Do you ever feel lonely being asexual? I feel like none of my friends understand what it's like and it's so isolating and terrifying and I feel do broken. Have you ever felt this way? How do you handle it? Sorry if this is too personal.

Hey anon! I hope you’re okay! I also hope you’re ready for a long post because that’s what this turned out to be!

Firstly, you are NOT alone. I think every ace feels this way at somepoint or another. It’s super common, especially since there really aren’t many out-aces, there’s virtually no actually helpful resources out there for aces, and most people legit have never heard of asexuality or believe it to be something that can be cured either through sexual acts or medication. The fact of the matter is, that being asexual is very much an isolating experience and it can be really really hard to become comfortable with.

For me, I grew up in a conservative town in a liberal state. So while no one was outwardly aggressive towards lgbt people which gave me a false sense of security, coming out was ROUGH. I lost all of my friends to the point where in highschool I wasn’t allowed in a party that everyone else in my grade went to, I got in a massive fight with my mom and ended up having to move out for a few weeks (don’t worry, we’re super close now), and I ended up going back in the closet which only ended up with me being coerced into having sex a bunch until I finally reached my breaking point. I realized I had to figure this out or I was gonna lose it.

Moving away from that environment was probably one of the main ways that I was able to start feeling okay. I moved to a nearby city, dropped all my old friends, made new ones, joined new activities, etc etc. I made sure my new friends knew I was ace pretty much right away, but I didn’t really talk about it past the casual, “Yeah, I’m asexual. I’ll date anyone but I won’t have sex with anyone. It hurts my body and I don’t like it.” and then that was it. I mean, I answered the inevitable questions that followed as if no, they weren’t dumb questions or invasive, even if maybe deep down I thought they were. But other than that it was just a casual mention, made sure they were chill with it, and then moved on.

And knowing that my friends were totally 100% okay with me being ace was like the best thing ever. They don’t UNDERSTAND being asexual on a deep level, (not even now after 3 years of living together), but I don’t understand how their sexualities function on that deep level either. It’s a two way street. And sometimes with people I’ll even ask them, “Okay but how do you KNOW that you like like someone like that?” and then they’ll have to take a step back and be like, “Oh shit, I guess it’s just innate. Oh damn I’ve never thought about this. Huh. Wtf.” You know, just showing curiosity in their feelings and showing that it’s okay to ask “obvious” questions really does a lot.

But tbh, my friends and I now will talk music or memes way before we’ll talk lgbt stuff. And half my friends are lgbt too. I just chose new friends who I connected and related to on deep levels that had nothing to do with sexuality at all.

The second big thing I did, and this is gonna sound counter-productive, was I unfollowed every ace-centered blog on Tumblr. No joke. I went through my followers and unfollowed EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I found that a lot of ace blogs, even ace-positive blogs, made me feel good for a second when I saw those ace-positive posts, but in the long run they ended up being really detrimental. Thinking about asexuality like something that needs constant validation is not healthy, no matter how positively it’s presented.

I was in a place where being asexual wasn’t normal in my head and I needed to normalize it, not validate it. Because validating asexuality comes AFTER normalizing it, not the other way around. So I needed to not constantly think about it or read about it or see it all the time. I needed to just watch it casually in modern media (aka watch Bojack Horseman and Saiki K on Netflix), talk about it with REAL PEOPLE irl in casual conversation occasionally, and just in general start looking at it like something as normal and mundane as my brown hair or dark eyes. Asexuality isn’t special, it’s not cool, it’s not sad either, it’s just another normal thing that contributes to me as a person.

So now when a follower reblogs an ace-positive post, I feel good. Like truly good. Not that fleeting good that will disappear in 30 secs and remind me that “oh yeah, there are a lot of people out there that hate aces.” I just get an occasional reminder that, “Oh yeah! I’m ace! Nice! I’m dope af!”

But being asexual isn’t like in my “top 5 qualities” list. I don’t write my bios and put my asexuality at the top of my “about me.” In fact, I don’t even think i wrote that im asexual in my about me on tumblr lol. It’s not that I don’t like asexuality, it’s just so normal to me I’m just kinda like “oh yeah im ace. i have dark eyes. and 10 fingers. surprise! Okay now back to the good stuff…”

Also, a bit of a sidetrack, but that “everyone’s valid” culture on tumblr is actually super toxic and not good. And so getting away from that is v helpful to your mental health.

The last thing that I did that helped me a lot was actually a bit of a coincidence but I met a girl irl who was my coworker who happened to be asexual too. We worked together for like a year, we totally vibed and started hanging out together a ton, and then one day out of the blue she was like “yeah I’m pretty sure I’m ace too.” It was super dope and just having that one person that I could relate to like that who I also truly enjoyed hanging out with was like a breath of fresh air.

Finding a fellow ace irl that you vibe with can be tough. She wasn’t the first ace that I’d met, but I tend to be a rather blunt person and the previous aces I’d met were all through my school’s lgbt club and they tended to be,,,sensitive,,,(told me i was ableist because I talk loudly and my loud voice was insensitive to their sensory disorders like bitch i’ve got hearing problems i can’t solve but you CAN buy earplugs so lol thank u next byeee),,,BUT I DIGRESS, chill aces are hard to find but finding that one person is so nice. But I should say I was pretty much comfortable with being ace at that point. That was kind of the cherry on top. So if this isn’t available to you, which it doesn’t sound like it is, that’s okay. There are other things you can do in the meantime.

Also, I do have to add that much of the phandom happens to be asexual. Idk how that happened but it did. So if you ever wanna talk ace-things, I’m sure so many people on here would be DOWN to talk ace stuff. I’ve done it before, it’s fun. They’re all rlly nice.

So yeah that was pretty much how I got from a place where I was so defeated about being ace from pretty much everyone around me to now I’m totally comfortable and normal with it to the point where I have turned several homophobes into lgbt-supporters because “fuck, Lexx is so chill and we vibe so hard but she’s lgbt??? i really like her as a person but she’s bi and ace??? hhhhhh,..,,,,i guess lgbt people are cool idk man ya wow ok.” (Legit one of these homophobes sent me screenshots a few months back where some kid was calling me a slur like on instagram or something and he was like “What, you mad cuz she won’t sleep with you? Get a life.” it was sweet 😊)

#ask #asexuality

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leaves-of-three · 5 years

Text

Tag Game

Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag 10 blogs you’d like to know better!

I was tagged by: singtomeinstead.tumblr.com

Nickname(s): Katie is a nickname for Katherine

Zodiac: Sagittarius, never once remotely related to anything sagittarius related though soooooo

Height: 5′6

Time: 6:12 pm

Favorite band/artists: My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, Panic! at the Disco, Julia Nunes, Marina and the Diamonds, Twenty One Pilots, Kimya Dawson, The Wonder Years, Brand New

Song stuck in my head: Orgy For One by Ninja Sex Party (it’s not just masturbation, it’s an orgy for one!)

Last movie I saw: I rewatched Room and cried forever.

Last thing I googled: Chesapeake Bay Retriever (bc I was playing the sims and that dog showed up and was cute af so I had to see what it looked like irl)

Other blogs: eatbrainsfordinner.tumblr.com

Do I get asks: sometimes and it makes me feel special

Why this username: This used to be a blog for an rp character I would write for. Her name was Ivy and she was super into plants. The name Ivy was like poison ivy and a sign that a plant is poison ivy is if it has three leaves…tada leaves-of-three. But then I stopped rping and this blog went dead for a while. Eventually I got into deh and wanted to write fan fics for Connor. Instead of starting a new blog I just decided to clear this one out and use it for my own trash fics. I never thought anyone would actually read my stuff or else I might have put a bit more effort into things and not just recycled an old username but ah well.

Following: like how many am I following or how many people follow me?? Either way it doesn’t matter really

Average amount of sleep: ha…as a suffer of depression and insomnia it’s either going to be like 3 hours or 12 hours…there’s no happy inbetween

Lucky number: I don’t have one. Let me close my eyes and hit some random ones. 34 cool it’s 34 now

What am I wearing: a beetle juice shirt and leggings and one black sock and one purple one

Dream Job: The Care of Magical Creatures teacher at Hogwarts. I’m dreaming big and unrealistically here.

Dream Trips: I want to explore anywhere that has big forests and beautiful mountains.

Favorite food: Chicken fingers

Instruments I play: I was going to make some fart joke but have decided against it.

Eye color: Blue

Hair color: Brown

Aesthetic: lonely misty forests on a cold autumn night

Languages I speak: just English

Most iconic song: It’s gotta be Orgy for One at this point as it’s been literally stuck in my head for the past week. Thanks Danny Sexbang for being a beautiful spandex butterfly and making catchy ass songs.

Random fact: Like Evan, I am also horny for trees.

omg i literally don’t know ten people to tag this is like that time in 8th grade we were supposed to write about five of our friends and i was like haha i don’t even have one friend so i had to make them up and pretend they just went to a different school lmao im tragic and panicking and bad at talking to people so i never actually get to know anyone and honestly if you’re reading this you can be my friend and pretend I tagged you and you can be my 8th grade imaginary friend from a different school is that weird idk what is punctuation whats up here’s a gif of mike faist to make up for this mess bye

#asks #milke faist #deh #deh fandom

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seafoamchild · 5 years

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i have felt so weird the past few days. i had a bad night on thursday when i kept getting big parties at work and they weren’t tipping me accordingly even though i was giving them great service. like i had a 10 top of medical students and of course the one foreign guy who doesn’t understand our tipping culture comes up and corners me and makes me swipe his card so he can pay for everything without the other people knowing, then he tips me $15 on a $180 bill. i was so fucking mad, like that party was taking up 3 of my 4 tables for HOURS!!! i was so done! i literally went up to the other end of the table and very politely told the guys there that their friend had covered the meal, but he tipped me less than 10 percent and i knew it was only because he didn’t know the tipping culture. and guess what! they gave me an extra $20 in cash. i’m lucky that particular restaurant has like no rules and the managers don’t care, but at my other restaurant or any other corporate-type restaurant i could have easily been fired for doing that. like how fucked up that i have to be THAT aggressive to get the money i am owed and that also servers technically aren’t allowed to like stand up for themselves because “It makes the restaurant look bad” like FUCK that i have bills to pay, i want the money i worked for and deserve!

well i had another bad night on friday at my other job when stuff kept going wrong over and over again, whatever, but saturday morning i came in and immediately got a 10 top of guys who were trying to drink the restaurant out of tecate, and they succeeded and ordered 100 tecates and a bunch of tequila shots and food and stuff. their bill was $675 and i took care of them for 4 hours, talking to them and chilling and even drinking a few beers with them, i was SURE they were going to give me a massive tip - turns out they split the bill so one guy tipped me on the food bill but the guy who paid for the drinks - A FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR TAB - left me NOTHING. NOTHING!!! i was like.. so in shock. that should have been at least an $80 tip and honestly more than that considering how much work i did for them. i could not BELIEVE it! i felt like i had been sooooo taken advantage of! i hate feeling like that and i feel like that a lot because i am such a genuinely nice person! it was such a day-ruiner. i did the ultimate no-no and found the guy on facebook and messaged him that i thought there must have been a mistake, and he actually did message me back and said they would venmo me but i’m not keeping my hopes high that they’ll actually do it. whatever UGH. this job is so frustrating sometimes. but the constant drama and high stress keep me on my toes which is what i need, to be quite honest.

oh and then also today i had this brother and sister at one of my tables and the brother was really fucking hot and he was laughing at all my jokes and like clearly into me and his sister even asked me if i was single and i said Yeah and then she looked at her brother and was like “isn’t that convenient?” and i thought he would leave his number and he DIDN’T!!! god dammit! i guess only creeps leave their numbers on receipts? idk. i would have texted him

but yeah so there were a lot of lows this weekend and i also partied a lot, went to an EDM show on friday night and got sooooo fucked up on vodka red bulls and ran into this guy i used to do summer landscaping with so it was actually really cool catching up with him. i said i wasn’t gonna party again on saturday but i was so mad from the whole getting stiffed on a 400 dollar bill thing that i went out with sarah and we did a bunch of coke and drank tequila and it was a really weird night because the first bar we went to, this girl outside the bar started screaming hysterically like i legit thought a cat was being strangled or something, but it was this girl screaming about how her rapist was there at the bar and fuck everyone for letting him roam free and it was honestly so sad and awful i wished there was something i could have done to help her (other people were helping her though). set a weird tone for the night. we were too coked up and sarah walked home with me and started sobbing and telling me all about her abusive piece of shit ex boyfriend and i didn’t know how to help other than just listen and not judge and be there for her.

i felt bad the next day from the coke hangover, i was just really sad and down and honestly thought i needed to cry it all out. i went for a walk on the east side by all the nice houses and the lake and it was so misty and chilly, couldn’t even see a block in front of me. it was eerie but nice even though i felt sad. then i drove to my parents house before work to drop off some stuff and i realized as soon as i drove out of milwaukee it suddenly was 65 degrees and sunny and perfect!! i freaked out and realized this was probably the last warm day of the whole fucking year!! i immediately put up my shift and amazingly jason got me covered so i got off work and then we drove together all the way to the illinois border and went on a walk through the woods with his friend brandon. it was so much fun!! i was feeling really manic and i was ON one, telling all these funny stories and being chatty AF. the late afternoon light was so beautiful on all the trees and the meadow. we walked for a long time, then went to an italian restaurant and had pasta and wine and calamari and just laughed and laughed. it was a good ass day, hanging out with jason, going to woodmans and getting a bag of jellybeans and all this fancy water and just having fun.

yesterday i walked around with behr and got ramen and drank ginger turmeric tea at rochambo and it was nice to talk. i actually said a lot of shit about sam and the stuff he used to do that would bother me soooo much, i guess i just needed to vent irl instead of on here. behr does understand though. she’s a good friend. then we saw ryan the bartender from work who i kind of have a crush on and we all hung out for what turned into a couple hours, showing each other our hilarious childhood pictures and just laughing and talking. i had no makeup on and i looked like shit so i was self conscious but what-fucking-ever honestly. i had a good time.

i guess i haven’t been with anyone for like 7 or 8 months now and i feel like i definitely want to wait for someone who deserves me but i’m also bored and antsy too. i don’t even know like any straight boys lol. like who will like me for ME? i am very strange and goofy and i’m definitely not like, a Hot girl. i’m weirdly beautiful sometimes and really fuckin funny. but i rarely ever feel attracted to ANYONE. idk man! i have felt weird lately. just kinda lonely and nervous or something. blegh. tomorrow is a new day.

#journal

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jordm · 5 years

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Heartland 12x05 - Change of Heart review

So back by popular demand (LOL JK), here it is! A Change of Heart - slightly delayed partly due to me forgetting it’s on and generally not having time to sit down and watch.

Anyways, happy to see Clint here again, even if we don’t find out anything about him that’s new besides hes a foster care worker and places troubled youth in homes - like Ty and he’s only there to drop Luke off. Not the point though ;)

I’m also seriously wondering if Clint has any other successful foster placements or if Ty is legit his only one?

Luke

When Clint asks, “Hey, your mom leave for work already?” and Luke says, “Yes” then looks back, I can’t help but think that either a) his mom actually isn’t there and he’s been on his own for awhile and/or b) he’s definitely hiding something. I’m not sure what or if we’ll find out this episode.

Anyways, his mom picked up “extra shifts” (which seems a little.. off but maybe it’s just me - does he not have neighbours to watch him?). He also seems extra defensive when Ty asks Luke what he does when his mom’s at work.

Anyways, it looks like his mom actually does work (??), or at the very least is alive, so maybe Luke just loves his mom and is overly protective and i’m talking in circles - but no he’s definitely hiding something. Did you see Luke’s face when he heard Georgie say, “I just wish Betty could still take care of him and he didn’t have to go to the boarding facility.”

So, Luke let Boot’s be free, which is when Ty realizes that Luke saw himself in Boots - with an unstable home (a non-available loving mother/not with the right guardian), who still needs to be taken care of despite everything. Someone looking out for him.

Lyndy

I’m not sure how fast it takes to potty train someone but... a weekend does seem a bit rushed. Maybe actual mom’s out there can advise more on this but I don’t think potty training is something you can... force? Like I said. I don’t know but without Jade it surely wouldn’t have happened.

Anyways, how cute was it when Tim told Lyndy to leave poor Remi alone. my bet is she got to know Remi pretty well off set with Amber at her farm/on set, so this was a pretty natural scene to film.

I also can’t help but think that the Lyndy scene of her bringing cars to Jade/Georgie was completely natural and improvised at the end.

Jade

Jade is lonely - and frankly bored not being able to ride Bronx and I totally understand. When you’re on the go all the time and then suddenly have nothing it can seem pretty boring. At least she seems to recognize (as does Amy) that Ty is just being Ty - overprotective AF and able to laugh at it.

Jade even gets Lyndy to be potty trained (OK i stand corrected, it can be done?) and even Ty seems impressed. The potty cheering when she potty-trained successfully was a nice touch.

It is nice to see Jade getting ‘back in the saddle’ - or back ‘near the saddle’ and to see her spirits lifted.

Georgie

Georgie meets her idol, Betty Thomas and it turns out Betty is pretty bitter. She just wants to eat in peace dammit! Which I totally get btw - I wouldn’t want to be disturbed while eating, however I guess she could have said it a little nicer.

Anyways, with Wyatt’s help, they track down Boots, Betty’s old trick riding horse; whose current owner has not seen him (her?) in a year. Poor horse. Anyways (how many times have I said anyways already), Georgie arranges Boots to come to Heartland so she can be reunited, but doesn’t heed Amy’s point that perhaps she doesn’t want to be reunited.

Well, luckily for her, it doesn’t work out that way. Reluctant Betty is won over the minute she see’s Boots and Boots is miraculously riding willingly again. Never underestimate the power of old memories. Georgie even trick rides again and manages to make Luke and Betty smile. Wait? She made Luke talk. The power of horses?

So maybe perhaps Georgie should have asked first, however maybe it was for the best that she didn’t as maybe if she did, Betty wouldn’t have even taken the chance.

I also got the impression that Luke, Ty and Georgie might have something in common should Luke end up at Heartland; they all had rough childhoods and somehow stumbled onto something good.

Amy and Ty end up buying Boots (so Luke seems happy and Betty can visit anytime!). And.. where is this disposable income coming from?! Like hellooo, Ty just took reduced hours at the clinic...

Wyatt

So we learn that he still keeps in touch with Adam and still clearly has something for Georgie, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Or even if he can’t because Georgie refutes it, as seen when he invites her to a “friend-date” to a Godzilla retrospective (which honestly doesn’t sound... that appealing?) and Georgie first assumes it’s a date.

“Oh so I should be offended you don’t have time to see a movie with me, but you’re gonna make time to track down some random strangers horse?”

“Okay, I can’t really say no to that, can I?”

“Gotta say, we still make a pretty good team.”

Yep. He still feels something for her.

So i’m not going to delete the top part but after spending an entire weekend together, Georgie buys tickets to the Godzilla thing... but corrects Wyatt when he says “friend date” to “real date”. I’ll say this - I think they’re good together but I don’t want them to rush into this like last time. Lets learn from our mistakes yes?

Tim and Jack

Lisa sends a bottle of wine to to “save for their anniversary”. Cute, but couldn’t Lisa just bring it back with her? Someone’s bound to drink it inadvertently by accident (oh and I have a feeling it will be Tim). Anyways, we know Lisa is alive - so that’s something.

BTW i’m soo proven to be right 10 minutes later. Classic Tim.

“I made a big sacrifice moving here” - Tim

Look, I get Tim’s point that perhaps the bottle should have been labelled better - if its that valuable then perhaps the kitchen wasn’t the best idea? But at the same time, you didn’t make a sacrifice - you chose to sell Big River with no contingency plan, assuming that you’d move in with Casey. Not smart Tim, not so smart.

Tim ends up living in a rental mobile home after Jack kicks him out- a la rodeo days and I say it’s about time. I didn’t know how long Jack could live with Tim in the house; plus now we have normal subdued less volatile Jack/Tim relationship back on track!

End notes

- Ty trying not to be so controlling and letting Georgie go check on Jade was pretty funny, even if he won’t be so happy about the mess/tents

- Jade taking care of Lyndy after just having her own IRL child must have made it pretty natural; cue the irony that “she has no babysitting experience”

- I need another word instead of Anyways.

Songs in this Episode

@heartlandians

Full on Storm - Chloe Collins

Like I do - Natalie Poole

Made it Home - Ahi

#heartland #change of heart #review #12x03

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misty-avalon · 5 years

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Questions to Know Me Better

Tagged by @theoceanismyinkwell Thank you!! ^-^

FOURTEEN PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

ONE / name: Misty (not my real name but that’s what I go by on tumblr dot com)

TWO / birthday: September

THREE / zodiac sign: Virgo

FOUR / height: short af (i’m actually very self conscious of my height so i don’t like it when people make jokes about me being short - only i get to do that)

FIVE / hobbies: reading, baking, blogging, learning how to sew and cross stitch, having a good jamming out session to kpop

SIX / favourite colour: blue (the sky is blue, the pools/oceans/seas are blue - it’s a very relaxing colour)

SEVEN / favourite book: Harry Potter series (i have yet to come across another book series that knocks harry potter off the top spot for me)

EIGHT / last song I listened to: stay - blackpink (sometimes i just need a relaxing acoustic song after jamming out to more intense bops)

NINE / last film I watched: Detective Pikachu (the 2nd half of the movie is so good omg)

TEN / inspiration for muse: i’m not sure what is meant by ‘muse’ but if you mean myself then I have taken a lot of inspiration from BTS and e1 Laurel Lance. BTS’ music has given me a lot to ponder about. The HYYH era of songs said the things that I wanted to say that I never found the right words for. For the first time in 3-4 years I didn’t feel lonely anymore and I learnt from their songs that the things I felt were perfectly valid things to feel. From that I gained new motivation (the kind that doesn’t make you feel like you’re drowning when you come across stresses and inconvieniences) that I channelled towards my last 2 years at uni. Then fast forward to the love yourself era, it was Namjoon’s UN speech and Jin’s epiphany that really drove the message of ‘self love’ home. I learned not to rely on other people for love but rather to create some love for myself because that can never be taken away from me. I learned that I am enough and nobody will ever be able to make me feel like I’m nothing. Ever since then I feel like I’ve become a much healthier and more positive person (although a reminder that i am not perfect and i probably still have some problematic behaviours that im not aware of yet). I also found inspiration from Laurel’s arc from being (rightfully) angry and depressed to choosing to be a hero as the Black Canary. I wasn’t in the best place from end of 2012 to beginning of 2015 so I related a lot to s2-3 Laurel. Seeing Laurel become the Black Canary reminded me that I can overcome the emotional crap that I went through, I can choose to look on the brighter side despite everything, I can choose to move on and be better - and I did. When it comes to irl people I guess I do kind of take inspiration from the people that I know (the ones who matter). Seeing the people who matter to me (even if we don’t talk anymore) having genuine smiles on their faces is like a mental refresher ie i get renewed energy to go about my day completing my tasks and they give me inspiration for how I want to shape my future.

ELEVEN / dream job: doing research or assisting in research in the pharmaceutical industry, or having my own business (doesn’t need to be fancy) that helps me earn a modest living

TWELVE / meaning behind your URL: my url is inspired by bbc merlin. I wanted a url that hinted on fantasy and the mystical unknowns (ie possibilities that are yet to be discovered - a metaphor for the sense of longing to explore whether a physical place or an aspect of life). So I started playing around with the words ‘mystical’ and ‘mystery’ which then evolved into ‘misty’. Then I looked at the word ‘avalon’ and not only did I like the sound of the name, I also liked how it’s the name of a legendary land - a land shrouded in mystery. The words ‘misty’ and ‘avalon’ sounded like a really good fit for each other and so ‘misty-avalon’ was born. For those of you who have followed me since 2013 you might remember that my initial url was something like ‘destinyhopesapphire95’ (like some tween looking username/email) so you can see why I needed to change it. Even with my old url I wanted something inspirational hence ‘destiny’ and ‘hope’, and I picked ‘sapphire’ which is the September birthstone. As for ‘95’ y’all can probably figure that out yourselves

THIRTEEN / top 3 ships: my top ships are always changing as i find new shows to watch. My current top 3 (which is true for the last 2 months) is: 1) barry/iris (the flash), 2) jonah/amy (superstore), 3) buffy/marty (andi mack)

FOURTEEN / lipstick or lip balm: lipstick, i like being able to play around with different colours

FIFTEEN / currently reading: im not reading any books atm, but i am playing the playchoices app which is an app for visual novels. Other than that I read news articles to keep up to date with the happenings of the world

SIXTEEN / work: i’m learning how to drive atm because workplaces and jobs where i live are a lot more accessible when you have a licence (i didn’t learn to drive as a teen like most people did because knowing myself I just knew that it wasn’t a good idea nor the right time), but other than that we (mum and i) are in the process of figuring out how to move to a different city and selling our house so everything is in limbo, but just this morning i revised a newer and better education plan where I hope I’ll be able to earn a few more certificates/degrees

SEVENTEEN / fiction?: yes? (tbh i don’t really understand what this is asking here) when it comes to fiction I’ll always pick out fantasy

EIGHTEEN / fanfiction?: I don’t always read fanfics but when I do I always look for some fluff to read

Tagging 14 people I’d like to get to know better: (won’t be tagging 14 people because i have a small tumblr social circle and i literally only keep seeing the same 3-4 blogs on my dash)

@narniangriff23 @randomnessoffiction @annabethchasethyourdreams628 @babsgordnn plus anyone else who wants to do this but I may have forgotten to tag!

(no pressure or anything ;) friendly reminder I won’t be offended if you don’t want to do it)

#questionnaire #about me

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the-musical-cc · 6 years

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In the entire Ghostbusters franchise of film, TV, and games, who are your best characters?

TRICK QUESTION! ALL OF THEM EXCEPT RON. Nah, JK *cracks knuckles* here goes.

Look, thing is, I really love all the characters, particularly when those who didn’t get much of the limelight, like Peck, start getting more of a backstory, allowing me to better connect and understand them, but if I had to go for like my top six or whatever, this would be it:

Janine Melnitz (In any incarnation, really), Eduardo Rivera, Jillian Holtzmann, Garrett Miller, Egon Spengler (Again, any incarnation although dorky RGB Egon holds a special place in my heart), IDW Kylie Griffin and Patty Tolan. That’s the short-ish answer. My reasons? Under the cut ‘cause it’s gonna be long.

Janine Melnitz- It’s no secret to anyone who’s seen at even 5% of my GB posts that she’s my fave, but it’s not really an unbiased opinion, I guess. I watched the cartoon as a young kid and she was my favorite back then, so it makes sense that even now she’d still hold my heart. The games and films don’t really give us much detail about her, except for some vague generalities, but even these vague generalities make for a pretty lovable character. What’s not to love about this tough-as-nails, no-nonsense kinda character constantly surrounded by either scientific nonsense, sass or plain out bullshit? And yet she still finds the time to care. She’s full of love and rage in equal amounts and GOD, do I love it. The cartoon pretty much cements this and adds a layer of the weirdest mix of tomboyish attitude with flirty, playful charm- for most of the seasons, at least. I’m also a sucker for the kind of hero who doesn’t have the ‘Power’ to justify the ‘Responsibility’ but ACTIVELY chooses to take the responsibility either way, simply because they are that kind of person, which started as a tendency in the cartoon, having her grab the proton pack to fight when the need came and continued in the comics, both IDW and NOW. I could go on and on with reasons I love Janine, but this is long af already, lol, moving on.

Eduardo Rivera- I admit a good part of the soft spot I have for him stems from him being a latino guy (Probably of mexican descent, since he uses the term ‘Chamaco’ and I'm not sure other latin-american countries use it) but it’s mostly the context in which he is a ghostbuster. It’s like someone took the power-fantasy of one of those fans who think they own the material because they’ve liked it for years, and decided to go completely the other way. Eduardo is a bit of a smartass but more often than not it plays against him, he isn’t a chick magnet, isn’t a scientst like Egon or even scientifically inclined as Kylie or Roland, isn’t physically very strong like Garrett and has a bit of a scaredy-cat streak. In terms of people fit for being a ghostbuster, he’s probably at the bottom of the list. But he IS a ghostbuster, and a constant in the few episodes we got is him constantly failing to do as well as his team-mates and just trying to be better. Taking care of them as best as he can, trying very hard to feel like part of the team, refusing to back down when something isn’t going his way. He’s the real underdog story in GB, the way I see it, and I love it. I wish we’d gotten to see and know more of him than we did, but even with what little we got, I love him.

Jillian Holtzmann- I think she's a general fave in the new team and I can see why. If anyone ever wondered what a mad scientist would be like if they were on a sugar rush, Holtzy's the answer. She mixes a bit of the generally cooky vibe we got from the tech of the old team and how they used it or learned from it –with seemingly complete disregard for common sense unless Winston was there- with a higher energy and a more playful disposition. She's loud and rowdy and loves joking around. Geeky. Unsubtly gay but not really a token gay either. There is just so much about her that I needed to see in media when I was younger and I love that today's kids get to see. She's not all perfection either, under all that flare, she's still scared and insecure and a little bit lonely, but getting better. I generally love how the new team is so damn feelsy, because, dammit, I'm a sucker for team-as-family dynamic, but I really feel deeply for how awkward at her affection Holtzy is, and how patient and understanding the others are for it. It's just really wholesome.

Garrett Miller- I’m gonna be straight up and say a disabled Ghostbusters really made an impression on me back in the early 2000′s when ExGB was on in Canal 5. Before rewatching I couldn’t really remember much of it- hell, I was under the impression that Egon and Janine were an official couple in the series, for whatever reason? (I wonder if I just assumed because they were the group’s ‘Mom and dad’?) and didn’t even remember Eduardo having a crush on Kylie, but I DID remember Garrett clearly. How he looked, who his Latin-American dub actor was, his attitude... it just really stuck with me. Upon my rewatch I realized he was also one of my favorite types of character; he comes from all kinds of bad places in the sense of toxicity. Hung around would-be neo-nazis when he was young and adopted a lot of their attitudes without meaning to, has a generally bad attitude about asking or receiving help or accepting any sort of vulnerability, even though at times it comes back to bite him on the ass. He actively works towards getting better too, working on his empathy and tolerance for ways of thought that don’t match his, and that just really gets to me. Unlearning toxic behaviors is never easy, showing it as a struggle without making it a lecture through him really cemented Garrett as a fave.

Egon Spengler- What can I say. He was my crush as a kid in the cartoon (according to my mom, at least) and now as an adult, Ramis Egon is my crush. Embarrassing fangirlish-reasons aside, you gotta love a guy that's somehow figured out portable atomic lasers that catch ghosts but most likely has forgotten to eat for the past two days. He's the perfect mix between being a genius and being a dumbass. And I know a lot of fans find how he seems to find the emotional fields completely alien... cool? Even though, when you have problems reading other people's emotions IRL it's anything but? But what I love is the lengths he goes to try sometimes. It's clearly not easy for him to understand even his own feelings at times, always translating them to the intellectual approximate, but he's still constantly trying. And when he does get it right, like he clearly has with the companionship with the rest of the team, it's beautiful. It's glorious to see him act just a little bit immature with the rest of the guys when they pile on Peter or start teaming up to throw shade at someone. It's beautiful to see him being able to come out of his shell more and more, the more he learns how to. I guess that's what really gets me about him, thinking eventually everyone finds their place and their people with whom they can be more true to themselves.

IDW Kylie Griffin- Why specifically the comics Kylie? I feel like ExGB Kylie suffered from this thing in the late 90s, early 00's where they thought making a female character mean was a feminist thing; I appreciate the whole 'Women don't HAVE TO be agreeable or make men's feelings their priority' thing, but... I'm just not a fan of someone who constantly humiliates a person who has a crush on them simply because they can. IDW Kylie keeps the edge to her attitude but on a much more reasonable personality. She has little to no tolerance to bullshit- but still seems mindful of boundaries and of who deserves to be on the bad end of her temper and when. I'm tempted to say she's more 'Mature'. Less on the 'Edgy' side. What I love about her is how she balances the gloomy, goth aesthetic with a kind, eager to learn and help others type of personality, without this meaning she's a pushover or naïve in any way. Plus, she's both a dog AND a cat person. Sure, it's possible this was who the original Kylie was under all those layers of soapbox activism and 'Better than you' attitude, but I can't know for sure.

Patty Tolan: You know how a lot of people was whining about the way she spoke? Ironically dubbed as a 'Racist stereotype' even though the whole argument against 'Ghetto speech' is racist in it's core? But anyway, you know the way Patty expresses herself? If people would have bothered to listen to what she said rather than try and find reasons to get mad, they would have noticed that what she said and what she did was what mattered. They immediately saw a black woman, using a commonly regarded as 'Black' pattern of speech and stopped paying attention. A mistake, I think. Patty has a degree in History (Confirmed by IDW but I honestly thought as much before that) and is the most well-read of her team, on top of possibly being the only one of them with common sense that isn't over-whelmed by other thoughts, and having the most practical way of thinking that doesn't get too reliant on the ghostbusting gadgets. Patty singlehandedly puts the myths that looking or talking a certain way determines whether you're smart or not to rest, in what Ghostbuster respects, and I love her for it. I'm not gonna lie, it's also really impressive to see someone exorcise another person via slap. That's Phoenix Ikki level of badassness, and I will never be over it.

Thaaaat’s about it? Wtf this is so long. Thank you if you read all the way to here and I hope this answer was a good one.

#ghostbusters #ghostbusters answer the call #extreme ghostbusters #the real ghostbusters #cc rants

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tenitchyfingers · 6 years

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so anyway today at work we were chatting and the topic of dating came up (as per every day in this specific workplace, idk why) and I was ready to shoot everything down as usual and then this coworker was like “ok, you don’t care for men... what about dating women?” and... the question is SO unusual for me, like I don’t ever get asked that because usually when people hear I’m not interested in men they’re either in disbelief (most of the time) or they just let it go (when they’re chill) but pretty much nobody irl ever asked me about the alternative and like... as the big fat bi i am, I was taken completely with my guard lowered and i became a blubbering mess /x_x\ and she was like “aaaaaaaahhh seeeeee you do want to date someone, look at that smile ;)” and...

i mean...

i never tried? I just don’t see the point because I’m aro af and distrustful and i haven’t found a cure for that yet, and dating requires opening up but i can’t do it, i just can’t, whenever i get close to it i hit a block and distance myself and push people away. but I also like... dunno, I don’t HATE the idea either? I’d just rather have friends who are women, because my desire for women in any other way is like, not high enough to actually do something about it (and getting into relationships as an aro bi-but-also-somewhat-ace woman sounds... hella complicated so I kind of gave up on it which I don’t mind - it’s not like my life is lonely because i’m not dating, it’s lonely because i’m mentally ill and I can’t trust anyone past a certain point, even friends) but... yeah, like, I didn’t say no either and she was super cool about it so yeah that was new (and pleasantly so) too. It made me think. I honestly don’t know, but I wasn’t irritated by the suggestion as i would’ve been at the idea of dating men (sorry guys, I think men are generally attractive and cool too, I just think I got harassed once too many and now i have this fear of men I don’t know whereas it’ll be insinctively easier for me to trust women even though like yeah i know, women can be absolutely awful and rapists and creeps too, I just... was never really sexually harassed by one of them beyond playful jokes that stopped as soon as i showed discomfort... I’m sure most men here who might be reading this post are cool and not creeps, so I’m not talking about you and I’d definitely be friends with you all, i’m not saying you’re all untrustworthy and this is an issue that’s been plaguing me for years now but it’s not your fault. It’s my problem to work through.)

so yeah it was weird. I usually don’t desclose my sexuality’s details outside of my home (or outside of the internet) so um... it was sort of new? i guess? and lately i’ve been thinking it would be worth trying to get closer to a woman but I also... have fantasies. I don’t know, women are so... nnghnjffgh but on the other hand i don’t want to lead anyone on because it’s literally just curiosity and the thought of dating makes me die inside and i would mostly be here for touching and maybe kissing a bit and uhhh other stuff but nothing more than that... and i know how that would be perceived. mostly i’m scared. i don’t want to be called a freak and looked at like a freak anymore

#confused queer noises #personal #i frankly don't fucking know #why can't my sexuality be a clear cut and understandable one #and why do i have to be so paranoid about interacting with people is2g

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razorblades-killed-me · 6 years

Text

85 Truths Tag

I was tagged by @btsismy6thkinkI

girl just why?!

I will tag no now coz I’m lonely

Last

Drink: Water

Phone call: KAYLA my wifu @ultimate---otaku

Text message: my good old little Bee!

Song you listened to: White T-shirt - Jonghyun

Time you cried: Last night I’m a sad little bean who has no life

Ever

Dated someone twice: Nope, im not stupid (not saying you are if you have but my exes are dicks)

Kissed someone & regretted it: Nah i’m to awkward to kiss people I’ll regret

Been cheated on: no i don’t think so...

Lost someone special: Yes! ahh gosh it sucks

Been depressed: YEAHHHHHHHHH BOIII

Gotten drunk and thrown up: nahhhhh i barely ever drink

Favorite Colours Black! Red! Purple!

In the last year have you…

Made new friends: Yes my dance crew boii

Fallen out of love: yah guess so idk its hard

Laughed until you cried: every day

Found out someone was talking about you: yesssssss! like omg i hate it so much

Met someone who changed you: many so many people

Found out who your true friends are: yeah lost my ‘best friend’ and had Sam and Raven stay there for me

Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: nah duh

General

How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl?:i’ve met everyone once i think

Do you have any pets?: NUUUUUU i crii (unless my brothers count)

Do you want to change your name?: yesssss i hate my name!

What did you do for your last birthday?: nothing i went out with my mum

What time did you wake up today?: 7;50 am (i leave at 8 am bjhwefbqehfuq)

What were you doing at midnight last night?: crying coz i have no life

What is something you can’t wait for?: Hixtape (FUCK YESS I AGREE)

What are you listening to right now?: i don’t even know...

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: I HAVENT TOM HIT ME UP

Something that’s getting on your nerves: People who lie for the sake of lying and slow walkers (not even gonna change this i agree! i push the 12ive who are slow)

Most visited website: my laptop says youtube tumblr and the facebook

Hair colour: purple unless we talking natural

Long or short hair: its just below my shoulder

Do you have a crush on someone?: JUNGKOOK YA HO ID GLADLY LOVE YOU

What do you like about yourself?: i have grey eyes... they kinda cute...

Do you want any piercings?: wanna get my helix done, or my nose again

Blood Type: IM AN O WHAT KIND I DONT KNOW (wait im O-)

Nickname(s): Short one, Red head, Ruby Gloom, Shrimp

Relationship Status: single af

Zodiac: virgo and im the year of the snake...

Pronouns: She/her

Fave tv shows: zesxrdctfvygbuhnij I DONT KNOW

Tattoos: nah im to smol

Right or left handed: right i basic

Ever had surgery: no but when i turn 18 they wanna work on my eye

Piercings: my firsts and i did have my nose

sport: ME ME?! SPORT?! I CLIMB STARS!!! THE SCHOOL MAKES ME THO

vacation: south korea would be nice, maybe NZ

Trainers: Converse HIGH boiii i didnt change it again

More general

Eating: BaCon

Drinking: i have a cup of coke but i haven't started yet

I’m about to watch: hmmm probs jack or something

Waiting for: HIXTAPE HIXTAPE HIXTAPE HIXTAPE HIXTAPE

Want: A REASON TO LIVE

Get married: Hopefully

Career: idk im bad at everything

Which is better..

Hugs or kisses: HUGS HUGS AHHH SO SOFT AND WARM

Lips or eyes: Eyes but lips are nice toooooo

Shorter or taller: Taller (everyones taller then me tho

Older or younger: Older

Nice arms or stomach: I GIVE NO FUCKS

Hookup or relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant (im hesitant and i dated a trouble maker and omg!!! i hated it)

Have you ever…

Kissed a stranger: BOIII NO

Drank hard liquor: Only vodka

Lost glasses: all the time but now i just leave them on the top of my head

Turned someone down: yahhhhh i felt so bad

Sex on first date: NUUU IM INNOCENT I SWEAR

Broken someone’s heart: idk maybe i hope not

Had your heart broken: Yes many of times

Been arrested: No i good i swear

Cried when someone died: OML YES!!!

Fallen for a friend: Yes…. no one tell my Oppa

Do you believe in…

Yourself: Never

Miracles: i hope but not true

Love at first sight: no not really

Santa claus: NUUUU NOT SINCE I WAS 3

Kiss on a first date: if its jungkook i would totally do it

Angels: NOOOO I MADE MY MUM CALL MY SISTER A STAR COZ IM NOT INTO THAT SHIT

Other

Best friend’s name: MY OPPA SAM (she is a female it joke) MY BIRB RAVEN (he a boy thats super awesome) MY ‘MOTHER’ KAIYA AND MY LITTLE BEE

Eye colour: GREYYYYYY

Favourite movie: Corps bride boiii

Fave actor: Yuki Furukawa IM A SOFTY OKAYYYY

Favourite actress: IDK Jennifer Lawrence

#get to know me #get to know the blogger #im a loser okay

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