what if Lizzie didn't die?
nobody's ever fallen out of the void before, so no participant has ever come back to tell the tale of what that's like. the communicator says she's eliminated, and everyone shrugs and carries on, because for all they know, she is. Maybe there is a ground to hit down there, or some monster that swoops in and kills in a single blow.
but the thing is - there's no end in a void. it just continues forever. and ever. and ever. it's simple physics; a void/vacuum is a blank space, a complete and total absence of anything at all. there's nothing there that could have killed Lizzie because, by definition, nothing is in the void at all. not even time could have gotten her.
now imagine being condemned to a place (or as close to a place as the void can get) where you will never see anything again, hear anything again, falling falling falling, towards a ground that will never appear. a place where you can never look into anyone's eyes ever again. eventually, a green streak in brown hair is the only memory you have of another human existing that hasn't been lost to the millennia you've spent falling. this place where you will be the only thing that exists, the only thing that will exist, and the only thing that has ever existed, slipping through the cracks of time, eternally in solitude.
wouldn't that be a fitting place for a woman who spent all her time on solid ground alone, with almost nobody to care for her? falling so far out of the bounds of reality even the watchers don't know she's still alive? so beyond the reach of anybody that nobody will ever hear her calls for them to come to her, let alone heed them? and let's be honest, if they could hear her, would they even come?
and who knows, maybe when the next season rolls around, for some strange, inexplicable reason, the watchers can't find Lizzie. It's no trouble, they can construct a new Lizzie from her memory, even if it's one season behind. and maybe this time, Lizzie has better luck and lots of friends. she doesn't really get why Scar is so apologetic, or Joel so clingy, or even why she constantly feels like she's teetering on the edge of a precipice, about to fall. but that's just her being silly, right?
all the while the original Lizzie falls forever. forgotten again.
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Fluff and gay rarepair are currently drawing. So I tried to write the fluff, with the idea I could finish it, watch some videos, then maybe crack at gay after stuff ends. I think this isn't actually fluff, but /I/ think its cute, and its soft, even if it is a bit hurt/comfort for what I meant by fluff.
Philza finds Missa asleep in the ram pen.
Philza wakes up, and he isn't sure what is wrong. His eggs are asleep, the doors are all locked, and dawn is still far away. Still, he swears he heard something. It's not from above - people still use his warp and garden too often to be bothered by noise from above - and that settles dread into Philza's spine.
He slips out of bed, bothering with shoes and scythe but not changing out of his pyjamas, and stats looking. It's probably a water pipe, he tells himself; he will not settle until he checks.
Chayanne's room and the kitchen are checked first, but nothing unusual is in either. Philza puts the plates from the night before away, then keeps looking.
Tallulah's garden is, too, empty of oddities.
Philza is about the chalk it up to nothing, when he remembers the aquarium beneath his feet. Instantly annoyed he breaks a piece of the floor, and drops down.
He fixes up the hole - he can just warp out after all - and looks around. The change isn't immediately apparent, but after he checks behind the animal pen… his heart breaks.
"Missa?" He whispers at the man - his husband - asleep among the animals. "Why are you sleeping down here?"
Missa sleeps on, oblivious to the question. Philza looks, and hesitates, then sees the ram try nibble Missa's hood and makes his descision.
He can hate him in the morning if he's wrong.
Carefully, he reaches down. One arm goes behind Missa's back, and the other tucks under his legs. His husband stirs with a quiet groan, and Philza gently hushes him.
"Go back to sleep," he whispers. "I'm just bringing you to bed."
His words have the opposite effect; Missa eyes slowly blink open, head turning to find him. "Phil…?"
"Hi Missa," he abandons his plan, and kneels next to the setee instead. "What were you sleeping down here for? Our bed is upstairs, silly."
Missa blinks at him, tears welling up. Philza reaches out and smooths then away, brushing Missa's hair from his eyes too.
"What are the tears for? My face isn't that bad, surely?"
"No," Missa whispers, and then his voice picks up. "No, no, no, its a good face! A very good face."
"Then why are you crying, king?"
Missa shakes his head; Philza reaches out, offering a hug. The shaking and tears both get harder.
"Missa?" Philza is worried now, genuinely worried. "Missa, what's wrong?"
"I don't deserve it," Missa sobs - in Spanish now, and Philza glances to his translator for support. "I don't deserve you, I'm a bad husband, I'm a worse dad, please, I'm so sorry-"
"Shhh," Philza continues to brush his hair. "You're not, you're not. You have to travel for work, that's all - plenty of parents have to. I don't blame you. Chayanne adores you. You're a good husband, I promise, there's no one I'd rather raise my eggs with."
"But-"
Philza waits, but Missa does not continue, just sobbing into a ball.
"I should have thought and asked Roier to keep up Chayanne's Spanish once your trip back was delayed," Philza says. "These things just happen with kids, it's not your fault, he's not hurt, he's safe and he's happy."
"Philza," Missa sobs. "Philza! Stop it! I… I know I did bad, you shouldn't comfort the terrible."
It's maybe too late, too emotional, too tired for that conversation. Philza instead reaches over, pulling Missa into a hug. It hurts, it hurts to see what words have done to his dear egg-partner. "You're not terrible," he promises. "You're not, you're not - come upstairs with me; some sleep will make things better."
The sobbing lasts a bit longer, before with a sniffle Missa manages to stutter out "really?"
"Really," Philza replies. "I want you in my bed, and the eggs want you with them. We've been waiting for you."
"For me?"
"For you."
Philza leans forwards, tapping his forehead to Missa's mask. There's another hiccupping sob and then Missa throws himself into Philza's arms more fully.
He is of course caught, and held as he cries.
"You're so good, king," Philza promises. "Phil e Missa, Phil e Missa - its still our house; I built it for you."
There is no answer, but eventually Missa's tears slow. Philza backs slightly away, just enough to grab a tissue and let Missa dry his eyes.
"… You mean it?" Missa asks.
Philza does his very best not to laugh, and nearly succeeds, "yes, king, I do. We want you here, I promise."
Despite the tearstains, Missa's face lights up in a hesitant but true smile. Philza sniles back, pressing a thumb to Missa's cheek and touching their foreheads again.
"So… will you come to bed?" He asks.
"Okay," Missa whisoers. "Okay, I- I-"
"Will get some sleep, and in the morning Chayanne and I will make you breakfast, and we're going to spoil you for a little while, okay?"
"I- I don't need that, just a bed, just a bed somewhere close to you!"
"Well, we have a double upstairs, and its a shame not to use it," he presses Missa's hand to the warpstone. "You remember where to go?"
Missa pulls out his warpstone, and allows it to pull him back atop the wall. Philxa follows a second later.
Above the door, the sign Missa wrote still hangs. Philza looks at it, then turns to see Missa doing the same.
"I missed you too," he finally replies to the message.
Missa whimpers, but smiles, "I missed you more."
"Bet?" Philza asks, even as he pulls him inside.
There's barely space in their house, a tiny place made for an egg and repurposed for his parents. The double bed is squashed tightly between the walls, and they both have to scramble to get onto it. By the time they are under the covers the pair are already a mess of limbs, one that only grows messier as Missa hesitantly gestures for a hug and Philza willingly provides.
/I love you/ Philza thinks, but cannot bring himself to say - not when the love he offers isn't the sort people ever want. /You are home and my home, you are family, you are mine; I love you./
Missa doesn't say anything either, having never entirely woken up; as soon as his head touches the pillow, he is asleep again.
"Goodnight," Philza says instead.
Then he huddles himself closer, and feels the warmth of his husband, and knows that shit though the island might be, here intertwinned is the best place he's ever been.
---
In the morning, Tallulah wakes up. Papi is no longer in his bed - she grabs Chayanne, shaking him hard. He wakes with a groan, and panics just the same. Together they search, getting more and more worried.
They're about to go get Tio Tubbo to help find him, when Chayanne remembers the house upstairs. They scurry up and across the ladder, and find the blinds closed for once.
They open the door and peer inside, and Chayanne jumps for joy as he sees both his dads inside. He runs and jumps up on the bed, a sleepy Missa grabbing him with one arm and pulling him close before turning back to sleep. Tallulah approaches more gently, scrambling quietly up. Still Philza's arms find her when she wiggles herself beneath the blanket.
Their dad - their dads - are here. It's later than normal, but they snuggle back in and return to sleep in the morning light.
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