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#anakin and rex share one brain cell
clawedandcute · 1 year
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All right, everyone! Time for another rundown of one of my AUs... And I say "my" AU... It's actually @you-need-not-apply's idea and he let me write it because he's very nice. Okay? Okay.
Get ready for ACCIDENTAL SITH (BUT NOT ACTUALLY A SITH) ANAKIN AU (And when I say get ready for, I mean go to my Ao3, the first two chapters are already up).
In this AU, Padme's ship never lands on Tattooine. She, Qui-Gon, and Obi-Wan never meet a young Anakin Skywalker. In the Battle for Naboo, Qui-Gon survives (sans a leg) and Darth Maul escapes. Despite these differences, the Clone Wars still begin, and early on in the war, Padme, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan's padawan Ahsoka go to Tatooine on a diplomatic mission that goes horribly wrong because Padme has approximately Zero Chill. After getting thrown in Jabba's dungeon and sentenced to execution, she meets Anakin, who was similarly thrown and sentenced.
And that's around when all heck breaks loose and the plot takes off.
Featuring:
Cool!Anakin who demands his name be pronounced the correct, Amatakkan way (and he WILL be a butt about it).
Qui-Gon have a very (un)reasonable reaction to rogue Force user Anakin
So many politics that my head is going to spin
Unhinged Padme who has never met the phrase "think it through"
Tired Parent Obi-Wan Kenobi
Sibling!Obi-Wan and Padme, since they went through the Attack of the Clones trauma together. If anyone was wondering if, in absence of Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan would still end up in the arena on Geonosis the answer is yes because Padme and Obi-Wan share one (1) brain cell and go there to rescue Problematic Dad Qui-Gon, who was sent to investigate Kamino and got himself captured a la Obi-Wan in canon AotC
Disaster Grandparent Qui-Gon Jinn
Ahsoka "Down for Treason" Tano
Anakin "If I Find an Opportunity to Slide a Guilt Trip about Slavery into a Conversation, I'll Take It" Skywalker
Obi-Wan "Why are Those Conversations Always with Me" Kenobi
Captain "All My Superior Officers are Dumb and Some of Them are Younger Than Me" Cody
Slavery is nominally illegal in the Republic but indentured servitude isn't and that is a small loophole that will be Important to the Plot
Darth "Ride or Die" Maul
How to Commit Treason Without Really Trying
Rex and the 501st as Pong Krell's battalion, and it goes exactly as badly as you're thinking
Padme and Anakin "Let's Still Get Married at the Worst Possible Time" Skywalker
Anakin's natural state without the Jedi being a mildly unhinged vigilante
He and Padme being Perfect for each other
Obi-Wan discovering that instead of one Dumb Kid (Ahsoka), he now has two
Quinlan "If It's Funny, You Can Convince Me to Do Anything" Vos
Commander "Has Seen Some Things" Fox
You call it kidnapping, I call it forced adoption, we are not the same
Please give us back our ships
No
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Bad Batch Season 3, Episode I Don't Even Know And Honestly Will Not Be Keeping Track * SPOILERS * (solely because Mina Nunyabiz *REAL NAME REDACTED* has gone on so many diatribes about this inexcusable social faux pas on Tumblr known as failing to accurately and comprehensively tag your posts for pieces of media which some people haven't gotten to watching yet and this means that if they wish to be on Tumblr without getting unwanted foreknowledge they have to undergo some vast and imprecise tribulation known as filtering by tag)
I have come to two, nay, three, EIGHT whole conclusions: a. Tech hacked the Star Wars Internet. b. Tech was the Star Wars Internet. c. Pabu does not have Star Wars Internet. d. The Batch cannot function without their Internet. e. The Batch has lost its sole functioning strategic brain cell. Hemlock caught it when Tech fell. The muscle and the face are kind of just winging it now; the auxiliary brain cell said "haha see you later, losers, I need to be Rex's chauffeur"; and the attitude's first and only plan is, as always, just "KILL". f. These men are adorable and also utter morons. g. Crosshair has no experience with women. Ever. He doesn't even know how to talk to them. They're a different species to him even when they aren't literally a different species. His two methods of social interaction just recently expanded to three (murder, snark, and now mother hen) and still none of them have anything to do with proper behavior towards adult females. Let alone one who doesn't share his genes. You can tell by the way he wildly swung from default "PICK FIGHT/KILL" to "offer genteel non-sarcastic hand up to my ship without sarcasm after you almost got my Stockholm syndroming sister killed by a giant turtle because if I can't kill you I literally am at a loss for how to behave towards you". h. Tech was the only member of the squad who ever bothered to get a newspaper and check to see who they were actually fighting.
Omega IS unsettling. Well noticed Venti
Hunter, continuing to be the king of asking the specific follow-up questions that the audience feels is relevant and the askee absolutely cannot answer without losing their mysterious vibes (see: season 1 finale -- "WHEN did you have your chip removed, exactly" "Does it matter?" "YES")
Hunter, continuing to be the king of not getting an answer to his very reasonable specific follow-up question
For special ops commandos in a war they were literally created to fight, these guys do not seem to have much of a concept of "stranger danger"
"ASKING FOR A FRIEND" omigosh Omega. I have never been so ashamed of you. The big fascist experiment-happy regime is after you. WHY CAN YOU STILL NOT LIE
Why is Omega just. In charge now
And still the most unbelievable thing about this episode was like half a minute in with Crosshair willingly helping a random Pabuan AND not mercing them when they dared to smile, thank him, and use his name
HOWEVER MANY EPISODES IN AND WE JUST GOT TO THE ANSWER THAT EVERYBODY ALREADY KNEW ABOUT M-COUNTS
WAY TOO MANY EPISODES IN AND WE STILL DIDN'T GET A STRAIGHT-UP ANSWER ABOUT OMEGA'S
Qui-gon had a blood test! With a little litmus stick and everything! The crazy weed-addicted space monk had a scientific stick he jabbed baby Anakin with and HEY PRESTO M-COUNT SPREADSHEET. WHERE IS THAT HANDY BIT OF TECHNOLOGY HUH
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WIP Wednesday
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5k words done for the first chapter! Soon. Here are my two favorite snippets for today:
1.
Of course, the alien princess would be speaking in riddles. Damn politicians. Anakin felt the beginnings of a headache form in his temples. He was about to ask one of the myriad questions wracking his brain, when they turned a corner and saw a giant cavern open before them. He stopped, stunned into silence.
"How did our scan miss any of this?" Ahsoka said in a small voice.
The chasm opened up like a sarlacc's mouth, sharp teeth of spires glimmering along its indigo-colored stone walls. Islands of rock and glowing crystal hovered in the middle, seemingly unbound by gravity and connected with bridges that looked as thin as strings. Anakin took a tentative step to the precipice and gulped. The bottom of the chasm was covered by mist and seemed impossibly far. Not that he was afraid of heights, having been at home in the pilot's seat since childhood. Still, it made him all over to look. To hear the tantalizing beckoning of the fall. The cavern swirled with power, too - it was like starlight, twinkling so impossibly far and yet so close he could almost touch it. He missed Obi-Wan, suddenly and fiercely. The view was stunning, and Anakin longed to share it with him. To catch a glimpse of the smile his Master when the beauty of the natural world stunned him with its brilliance. It's been so long since Anakin had seen him smile.
2.
"We'll break out if they take too long, right?"
"Absolutely. And hey, this is an opportunity to gather some of that intel you told Rex about!"
"From inside a prison cell?"
"From the very heart of the enemy territory." He corrected.
Anakin put his arms behind his head and tried to think through what happened. "Obi-Wan will ask for every detail, when he comes," he thought. "Better give him an answer". He imagined his Master's exasperated look, him going "Now, Anakin. That's a new record - less than an hour between arriving cityside and getting arrested. How in the world did that happen?" How indeed. The Jedi rifled through his memories back to when it all started...
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vodika-vibes · 4 months
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"Babe. Babe, look at me. Do any of us look like we'd fit through a vent?"
These 3 are everything rn
The true Spider-Man way is that there are three people, and only one brain cell to share, and 9/10 the Spider-person doesn't have the brain cell.
The door to the rec room on the Resolute slams open, which is surprising since it's a mechanical door so it should slam anywhere. General Skywalker is standing there, looking stunned. "...general?" Dogma offers hesitantly. "The...the purple spider...person," Anakin says, "Just...turn on the news-" There's a scramble of movement, as Tup vaults over the couch and grabs the remote to turn the holo on. There, on the holo, is Arachne, crouching on the front of one of the hover pads in the Senate, and Palpatine is...throwing lightning at her? And waving around a red lightsaber? "Uh...aren't red lightsabers, like, evil?" Fives asks. "Uhm...yeah." Anakin says slowly, sinking onto the couch next to Dogma. They watch in silence as Arachne ducks, dodges, and weaves around the room. "She's not getting close enough to hit him." Hardcase murmurs. "Too dangerous, with the lightning and the saber," Echo interjects. A gasp goes up around the room, as Arachne webs up a hover-pad and flings it at Palpatine as though it weighs nothing. And then there's movement as the Jedi masters arrive on scene, and the holo cuts off just as Arachne swings between Master Adi Gallia and a burst of lighting, taking the hit for her. Dogma folds his trembling hands in his lap, and Tup pulls his hair out of his bun, and runs a shaking hand through his curls, "We...we need to get back to Coruscant," Tup says, his voice tight. "We have a mission," Rex says, and he holds up a hand to stem off the shouts of disagreement, "I'm worried about Arachne too, but we can't do anything for her now. Even if we turn around to return to Coruscant right this second, it'll still be days before we arrive."
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rvvaged · 4 years
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I NEED TO SHARE THIS SCREEN CAP
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ANAKIN DOESNT GIVE A SHIT
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OBI WAN IS FURIOUS
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AND REX IS JUST FUCKING WISEGKWVSHE HE LOOKS SO FUCKING SCARED
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nutella531 · 3 years
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Anakin: the 501st has like 5 brain cells total
Ahsoka: maybe one per each commanding officer?
Anakin: so you and I have two
Ahsoka: I feel like Captain Rex has two
Anakin: and we share the last one with the 212th
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thefridgegoblin · 4 years
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Quarantine??
Ok long-ish post but I really needed to know how the clones + their jedi companions (and some extras ;]) would have dealt with quarantine and covid-19, so have this mess of a hc that I spent way too long working on
- Anakin pulled some strings and managed to convince the council+GAR to let him stay with Padmé as a “bodyguard” (Anakin: “Remember that plot to assassinate her from last week?? Her in quarantine- stuck in one apartment in Coruscant- provides a great opportunity for Separatist goons to strike! I offer to stay with her to prevent any attempts on her life.”  Windu: *internally* this is the worst lie i’ve ever heard *externally* “Very well, Skywalker. Do what you must.”) 
- Padmé loves having her husband around, but damn does she want to participate in Senate sessions again. The sheer amount of reform and policy ideas she has written up during quarantine should scare Palps into enacting Order 66 early tbh
- Obi-Wan honestly did not realise how tired he was until quarantine hit him like a ton of bricks. He passed out for like four days, and when he woke up again Cody was just there with a cup of coffee all like “good morning sir, how was your nap?”
- Cody discovered Animal Crossing. He’s finding things a lot less stressful nowadays. He’ll have the occasional “Why in kriff’s sake would you do that” moment with his brothers, helps out his other Command Buddies (via Hologram and the secret commander group chat that absolutely exists), has weekly holo-check-ups on the Bad Batch, and is the recipient of all Rex’s complaints over the 501st. He’s honestly pretty chill with it all and exudes nice Big Brother energy. He also got Obi-Wan addicted to Animal Crossing.
- Rex would be glad for the downtime and chances for his brothers to finally kick back for a while, but with Anakin gone, Rex is the one in charge of his men in quarantine. Sure he loves them but karking hell if he has to endure one more day of this--
- Ahsoka is having the absolute time of her life! A chance to be a teenager and not having to worry about being shot at every moment??? Yeah she can’t go outside, but she’s got a solid wifi signal and can go wild with her adopted brothers!! She’s THRIVING
- Fives is totally indulging Ahsoka, and hell-bent on pranking as many of his brothers as he can (this competition is taken up by Jesse and Echo, too, much to Rex’s dismay)
- Kix is so fucking stressed. Not only is he a medic in a galaxy-wide pandemic, but his brothers share 1/2 a brain cell between them and diD HARDCASE JUST SNEAK OUT FOR A LATE NIGHT MACCA’S RUN  A G A I N?!
- Hardcase is vibrating off the walls. He hates sitting still and being stuck inside like this and has exhausted pretty much every option of entertainment. He tries to put on a comedic face, but he’s like a cat. When he wants outside time, he’s going to get outside time. Therefore, escape attempts with varying degrees of ridiculousness happen (usually with the help of Fives, who can’t stay out of trouble for the life of him). 
- Tup’s just glad to have fun with his brothers like the true toddlers they all are
- Dogma spends his time trying to force his brothers to stay. put. stop. breaking. rules. you. absolute. heathens. He and Kix are the sole owners of the 501st’s brain cell in this time.
- Waxer, Boil and the rest of the 212th keep finding really weird ways of entertainment. Just yesterday, Obi-Wan and Cody walked in on Waxer, Boil and Wooley having a race down the hall....while completely encased in sleeping bags.    (you know that post i’m referencing here)
- Plo is very happy that he gets to spend time with his troops sons that isn’t consumed by the war for once
- Wolffe discovered his secret talent. The man is a GOD at cooking. The rest of Wolfpack have taken to sending photos of their Commander’s cooking to the other battalions, captioned with “haha the rest of you can dream lmao” or “look what dad#2 just made for us!!”
- Bly and Aayla are just pleased (relieved) to be able to be themselves in quarantine without scrutiny from the Council and GAR. They opt for just settling down (cuddling) and binging Netflix shows that they haven’t had the chance to catch up on due to the war
- Fox is equal parts relieved and stressed cause sure, he’s finally getting some r&r, but at the same time, it’s his job to make sure the dipshit senators, jedi and GAR soldiers (not even starting on the citizens of Coruscant) stay the hell inside
- Quinlan happened to be visiting Coruscant when lockdown became mandatory, so he ended up stuck with Fox. Or rather, Fox is stuck with him. In all seriousness, Quinlan isn’t too happy with being stuck inside, but he’s having a blast pestering Fox (and really, Fox secretly enjoys a chance to break shield, relax and have a laugh with this feral force user)
- Palpatine is fuming. He’s trying to orchestrate this whole republic+jedi domination plan, but all his evil lackeys are like “nah man covid’s nasty” and are self-isolating instead of going out and committing the odd war crime, and Sheevy can’t do anything in the senate bc he’s still playing the part of ‘good wise leader who has the people’s best interests at heart’ role
- Luminara has a chance to properly connect with Barriss, and talk things out with her, and realises how worried her Padawan is about, well, everything, so Luminara comforts her daughter Padawan as best she can (side note; Luminara makes some killer hot cocoa)
- Doom is at wit’s end. If he has to deal with ONE MORE dipwad Coruscant Karen protesting lockdown, he’s gonna lose it
- Shaak Ti’s schedule honestly hasn’t changed much, lets be real, but she’s using the “Galaxy-Wide Pandemic” as an excuse to introduce all the cadets to Minecraft
- Yoda’s routine is pretty much the same, too. Except the amount of weed he’s been smoking has increased ten fold and no one has the guts to bring it up with him because that’s grand fucking jedi master yoda
- Ki-Adi Mundi got really into writing! He’s already got the manuscript of a book detailing the history of Kashyyyk ready to go, with a sequel well in the works.
- The Bad Batch are just vibing, tbh... Crosshair’s loving not having to socialise with anyone. Actually, Wrecker was getting increasingly mad that he couldn’t throw hands with droids every five seconds, so Tech (in a mad panic before Wrecker could break any more datapads or consoles) whipped up a make-shift training arena for Wrecker to go wild at.
- Ventress is downright livid about this whole quarantine thing. She was essentially living her best life roaming around the streets like a stray loth cat, but now she’s stuck with some rando flower vendor chick bc she was the only one willing to take in a feral assassin off the streets
- Bo Katan finally gets a chance to vent. In the only way she knows how. Target practice and pummeling the absolute shit out of her practice dummies.
- Hondo made a Tik Tok account. Enough said. Kenobi follows it. So does Dooku. 
- Dooku is reveling in the fact that he can sit at home in his Fancy Sith Pyjamas (TM) all day
- Maul sits up in his fancy-ass Mandalorian throne room and plays Animal Crossing when he’s not rehearsing his next big dramatic monologue for Kenobi
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starwarslut · 3 years
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i’m back with my clone wars thoughts, it’s been like two seasons so buckle up (first post here):
- cody and rex are the brains of the operation and 100% of obi-wan and anakin’s impulse control (ashoka switches between the two depending on the day)
- the dr nuvo vindi dude just looks like he would commit war crimes, the geneva convention means nothing to this man
- anakin and ashoka getting into an argument and anakin sends ashoka to her room . . . ok dad
- fires??? burning in space????? with what fuel???? last i checked space is a vacuum and that’s not very flammable babey
- i feel like anakin just keeps coming up with even more batshit out of control plans, each more insane and suicidal than the last, and yet SOMEHOW he still survives
- obi-wan has such tired dad TM energy, especially when it comes to anakin’s plans
- episode 20? i think you mean boil and waxer adopt a child
that’s all for season one so now onto season two (somewhere in here it becomes season three but i’m not sure where):
- waxer/boil (i’m shite at telling them apart) having numa on his helmet melts my heart
- kix definitely has the best hairstyle out of all the clones, it’s sick as hell
- the clones are oddly skinny??? idk man i just thought they’d be bulkier so you could imagine my surprise
- watching obi-wan beat the crap out of pre viszla was so incredibly satisfying
- love that rex teaches the shinies that working under skywalker means they never do what they’re supposed to
- rex is so very in tune with anakin’s bullshit he’s like the very resigned holder of their single shared brain cell
- i absolutely adore tiny boba (but also i can’t take him seriously because every time i see him i’m like ooh what are you gonna do??? kick them in the shins???)
- i’m completely enamoured with how plo koon’s troops painted him and them on the side of their transports - true father/son relationship goals
- and it says plo’s bros on it - i’m 🥺🥺
- r2 is a near-feral street mutt while all the other astromechs are purebred show dogs - this is facts
- i feel like quinlan vos is who anakin would be if he was trained by like yoda or someone a bit less sane/more unhinged (not that there are many people that fit that)
- padme is such a badass little lady and i absolutely love her she deserves so much better
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ironmandeficiency · 4 years
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refreshing
pairing: hardcase / jedi!reader
word count: 4122
summary: you’re able to convince (read: blackmail) anakin into letting the troops take a pit stop on your home planet of naboo for a couple days of morale boost.
request:  hi i’d like to order a hardcase combo with a side of smooching (u write him so well i’m a mess!!!)
warnings: unprotected sex, outdoor sex, slight exhibitionist kink?
a/n: my first time writing a full-length fic with smut!! always remember, wrap it before you tap it.
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“we are not stopping there, y/n. there’s no time.”
“just like there wasn’t time for you to make a ‘very important call’ to someone that wasn’t even a jedi right before our last battle.”
“how did you-“
“i have more than two brain cells, anakin. now next time you speak to the senator, make sure you tell her i said hi.”
silence. then he tersely orders the pilot to set the coordinates to naboo, silently beginning to contemplate a way to get payback.
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you entered the clones’ barracks by anakin’s side, a wild grin still crossing your face at the success of your plan. heads turned to the sudden entrance of two generals and several shinies abruptly stood at attention before being relaxed by older brothers. neither you nor anakin enjoyed the idea of your men dropping everything for something as time-consuming as a salute.
“good news men,” anakin begins while barely stifling a groan. “before we return to coruscant, we’ll be making a brief pit stop.”
that was a poor way to explain it. several groans filled the air, thinking that there was yet another mission to be completed. the men hadn’t been on leave for several long and testing weeks and the idea of such overworking was rather repulsive.
“boys, don’t look so glum! we’re going on vacation!” your giddy shout shocks several of them and confounds many others. why the kriff would they go on vacation? they were soldiers fighting a war, there was no time for something so trivial. even if there were, they were clones. clones weren’t given vacations.
anakin takes a moment to enjoy the bafflement before clarifying your statement. “on paper we’re touching base with the local government to ensure friendly republic relations. once we’re there, however, we will have two days of pre-leave leave. a vacation, if you will.”
rex was dubious. “are you sure this is allowed, sir?”
oh rex, always dependable when it came to the book. his sense of duty was unrivaled, and moments like this made it clear. “anakin and i have both done far worse things without the council’s approval. surely an impromptu morale boost wouldn’t even hit the top ten.” your grin disarmed several troopers, them finally beginning to accept that they were indeed getting a small vacation.
“as long as you’re sure, general,” a small smile graced the captain’s face as he turned to speak to his brothers. “men, we’re going on vacation.”
“but sir,” dogma spoke up. you turned to him and took in the way his eyebrows and tattoo were twisted in concern, finding it very fitting for the trooper. “what planet are we going to?”
“good question, dogma. we’re going to naboo.”
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after a few hours spent at the palace, you and anakin were free to join your men. you had to at least make your twist of the truth convincing by actually visiting the naboo palace, even though queen jamillia wasn’t expecting any sort of jedi visit. didn’t need anyone finding loopholes in your future cover story in case they went to looking.
the five-oh-first was currently stationed in a wooded meadow dotted by several tiny ponds and vibrant wildflowers. some were swimming, others were wrestling in the daisy patches, and there were a few napping on moss-covered rocks or logs. everyone was smiling and/or laughing, though, and that was the best part.
the speeder anakin drove you back in skirted to a stop at the edge of the clearing. he offered you a hand to help you off, his driving being the kind that would quite easily disorient someone not used to his methods, and you took it with a smile. there was no way you would be letting him drive again, that was for certain.
it took seconds before your arrival was noticed. “hey everyone, the generals are back!” fives shouted to his brothers that were in one of the small ponds with him. the information spread like wildfire and soon you were both surrounded by men competing for yours and anakin’s company.
“come swim with us, general!”
“no, come join us for sabacc!”
“we’re wrestling in the flowers over there and need an unbiased ref!”
“our pond has a better view!”
“no it doesn’t!”
anakin laughed before bringing about a compromise. “we have two days, guys. we’ll both try to spend as much time with you all as we can, but i’m going to start by judging a few fights. y/n, you know where to find me.”
jesse and spears were excited to have won general skywalker’s attention, neither containing the whoops as they pulled anakin toward the match continuing on without them. from the looks of it appo was winning against jude, which was an interesting turn of events.
now you were left with a choice. you could go play sabacc with kix or go swimming in either hardcase’s pond or tup’s, both of which had spectacular views of the countryside. the decision was a bit biased (which you would tell no one) but you had to put effort into making it look like you spent more than two seconds making a choice.
hardcase was shirtless in front of you, clad only in his soaked briefs that left very little of his body to your vivid imagination. geometric lines decorated his chest, beads of water sliding down or beginning to dry against him in the sun pulling you in. it was hypnotic and quickly becoming a fuel source to your less jedi-like dreams.
you already had plenty of sources to draw from but it never hurt to add more. there was the wild gleam in his eye when taking down clankers with his z-6 and the way he’d comfort his younger brothers when they struggled with anything from night terrors to painting their armor. this wasn’t even mentioning the time you’d gotten a nasty blaster wound to the thigh and he had to carry you to kix and coric, the strong arms a cocoon of safety (kix told you later that you had called hardcase honey in your blood loss delirium and he flushed redder than a tatooine sunset).
he hollered in victory when you slung an arm around his shoulder, letting him guide you to the pond that he was sharing with queen and daze.
hardcase had to be frank with himself when he examined his motives behind wanting you to join him. it did have a lot to do with how he enjoyed you as a person, but he selfishly wanted to bear witness to the way you’d look with the pond water clinging to your skin and underclothes.
but that isn’t to say he only wanted you for your body, maker that couldn’t be farther from the truth. to hardcase, you were more than a general or jedi, and far more than a beautiful body. there was a selflessness he got to see when you interacted with civilians and compassion you showed to him and his brothers that endeared you to him. you were fun and wild and adventurous, and he couldn’t get enough of you, he wanted more.
you spent a few hours playing games in the pond, chicken and marco polo being the favorites. the guys banned you from being it during marco polo, realizing early on that the force was the reason you were finding them so easily and it was most definitely not hardcase splashing you like a child every chance he got. nope, that was not it at all.
the company rotated throughout the time you spent in the pond, the only constant being hardcase. it was pleasant being able to spend so much time with the heavy gunner without having to worry about protocols or codes. you got to just be yourself and spend time with hardcase while doing it, the recipe for a perfect day.
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the sun was setting and campfires were built around nearly every pond, both flames and night stars reflecting off the water beautifully. ration bars seemed to taste better on naboo, and dinner was spent singing drinking songs and telling stories of brotherly shenanigans.
you were recounting one of the occasions anakin reprogrammed temple mouse droids to hit people in the ankles on purpose when you noticed it. hardcase’s eyes hadn’t left you for a while, and right now they felt as if they were dissecting you on a laboratory table with their intensity. you wanted to know why but that wasn’t your information to know right then. if he felt comfortable telling you then he would do so in his own time.
nearly everyone was tuckered out by the excessive fun of the day, quickly falling into a peaceful slumber in their bedrolls the likes of which they hadn’t had in a long time. but hardcase, he was far from tired. he was far more awake now than he had been when you were on his shoulders during games of chicken played with fives and tup.
you were enjoying the crackling of the fire paired with the occasional snoring from troopers on all sides when hardcase stood and moved next to you. he had set his roll down on the opposite side of the fire, a decision he now was regretting as he had to maneuver himself carefully around the bodies of sleeping vode.
he eventually made it to your side without waking anyone and let out a sigh of relief as he plopped down next to you. his shoulder lightly bumped yours as he scooted closer and you couldn’t help but be glad he hadn’t put a shirt back on after getting out of the pond for ration dinner.
peaceful silence was achieved (outside of snoring) as you enjoyed each other’s company. you weren’t expecting him to break the silence so soon, but you especially couldn’t predict the way he broke it. “i had a good time today,” he spoke quietly (a true feat for the man) and moved a hand to rest on your knee. “thank you for convincing general skywalker to let us stay here for a couple days.”
the crackling fire illuminated his face just enough for you to see the patches of red on his cheeks and tips of his ears as he continued. his eyes held your captive with their sincerity, emotions swirling wildly just below the surface. “i really enjoyed spending time with you, gen-“
“call me y/n, hardcase. please, it makes everything so much easier.” you had come to a decision a couple hours earlier about how you felt about the man next to you and what you would do about it. there was nothing in you that could maintain the semi-distance you had with him prior to today, not with the way his laughter quickened your pulse and sent waves of joy over you. even his force signature was intoxicating under the nubian sky, you couldn’t get enough.
perplexion overtook his features. he had no idea what you were talking about, silently hoping that you hadn’t lost your mind to fun. “makes what easier-mmm-“
you cut him off with your lips, silencing his question before he could finish. he responded in kind, hands pulling you into his lap without breaking the kiss. it started all tongue and teeth, the adrenaline and arousal beginning to flow through your veins as steady as your blood.
“gen- y/n,” he broke the kiss to catch his breath, quick to correct himself to using your first name instead of rank. his chocolate eyes were blown out with desire, his hands had ventured toward your ass, cradling it with the utmost care. “i-is this what you want? do you really want me?”
your answer was first given with legs wrapped around his waist, mouth meeting his for another breath-stealing kiss. but then you sensed hesitation as his hands gripped your waist and slowly began to detach you from him. he was worried and you had to reassure him, make sure he knew how you cared about him. “more than anything in the galaxy, my dear.”
your eyes conveyed this truth to him the very same way your words did, and the answer given satisfied him. he returned his hands to your backside and gripped the flesh hard before continuing the kiss. you opened your mouth to invite him in and he obliged, his tongue swirling around yours and maker did he taste good.
kissing hardcase was euphoria unlike anything you’ve ever encountered. there wasn’t a single part of you that wasn’t aflame where your body met with his, the burn being one you’d relish in for as long as you lived.
one hand left you for a moment before coming back with a loud smack! that produced a whine from your throat. hardcase would do anything to hear that sound again, so he brought his hand down harder and groaned when his ears caught the mewl he ripped from you.
you slid a hand between your bodies and palmed his cock, giving it sweet resistance when his hips thrust into your hand. he felt thick and hot even through his blacks and you could only imagine how he’d feel inside you.
then a grumble from nearby harshly reminded you both that if you weren’t quiet, there would be an audience. hardcase grinned like a loth-cat before rising to his knees, arms holding you up and against him. “let’s take this somewhere a lil’ quieter, sweetheart.”
with the change in position you could feel his member press deliciously against where you wanted him, grinning in triumph when you wiggled your hips against him and wrestled a groan from the back of his throat. he was standing in seconds and barely bothering to avoid stepping on sleeping vode in his haste to get you as alone as he could.
he walked you both to the edge of the meadow, one of the tiniest ponds being only mere feet away from where he set you down on the ground. you pulled him down to you by his hips, not wanting any space between you as he nipped at your neck and jaw. he sucked hard at a sweet spot just above your collarbone and he nearly ascended to the stars at how beautiful his name sounded from your parted lips.
you tugged at your tunics desperately, wanting hardcase to take the hint and rip them off you. he was smarter than some gave him credit for because it took seconds for him to work them off you, tossing the fabric to the side with abandon. callused hands ran across your chest like the flowing rivers this planet was known for, learning the terrain of your breasts and stomach like battle plans.
his mouth descends lower and latches onto your nipple, tongue swirling around the bud before biting it gently. you’d never felt anything like it before and it drove you wild, his name stumbling through your lips.
“you say my name so pretty, y/n,” he smiles against your breast, lustful chocolate eyes looking at yours under long lashes. you reached your arms around his back and let your hands wander the waistband of his blacks, trying to tell him he was wearing too much but most of the words left you. the resulting sentence was fragmented and flooded with desperation that you didn’t bother trying to hide.
“‘case,” you breathed, “g’t ‘em off, please,” the offending fabric was hiding him from you and you weren’t going to put up with it any longer. he chuckled against your skin before moving back to remove his blacks. his boxers had long since dried from swimming and through the light grey fabric you could see spots of precome.
the boxers were peeled off seconds later and once they were low enough on his legs, he kicked them off to leave him completely exposed to you. his naked body rivaled those of marble sculptures kept in the elite coruscanti museums of art, and exceeded the expectations of the artists that had never been blessed to see such beauty in a man before. the tip of his cock was littered with pearlescent droplets you wanted to both taste and have inside you at that very second; you weren’t picky, either one would have you reaching nirvana in record time.
you sat up and brought him into a bruising kiss. he slithered a hand into your underwear and slid it between your folds, eyebrows raised when he felt how wet you were for him. his hand left soon after and, after breaking the kiss, let your lips wrap around the slick-soaked digit. you swirl your tongue around it and sucked lightly, hardcase loving the way you eagerly tasted yourself around him.
pushing him backward into his back, you straddle his lap and slide yourself across his length. hardcase growls at the contact and his fingers move to grip your hips and move you faster. but you wanted more, you wanted him to split you open and fill you up the way only he could. so you raised your hips up slightly and took his cock in one hand, steadily lowering yourself onto it with a moan.
once he was fully sheathed inside of you, your walls clenched around him and for a millisecond you thought you’d killed the heavy gunner with the way his eyes rolled back at the sensation. it was almost painful for hardcase to keep his hips from fucking up into you but he wanted you comfortable; not to brag but he was thicker and longer than average, and he didn’t want to hurt you by going too fast.
the stillness was sending you up a creek. you wanted him to move, to take what you were offering to him, yet he was resting while buried inside you. you were impatient and decided to take initiative, rising halfway off him before sinking back down. it was divine, the way he stretched you out as you went back down on him, and you could tell he was thinking the same when your name was emitted from hardcase with a primal grunt.
it took only a couple more movements on your part before he had you in a bruising grip, holding you up and pistoning his hips into yours recklessly. it was rough and wild and feral, the only goals being release and staking a claim into the other.
your head was thrown back, neck bared to him as he pounded you. in a moment you didn’t expect, he had you on your back and his head buried in the juncture between your neck and shoulder, continuing to bite and suck at the skin in a way you were positive would leave delicious evidence of the night’s activities.
the new angle aided him in finding your g spot, which you were both immensely grateful for. you were seeing stars that weren’t the ones above you when he found it, a choked whine indicating to hardcase the specific way to thrust to continue hitting it with precision only a soldier could have. his forehead pressed against yours as he fucked you, maintaining eye contact no matter how fast he went.
“fuck, hardcase!” his balls were slapping your ass as he went harder and faster, the man holding nothing back. he pressed a finger against your mouth before panting, “gotta be quiet for me, sugar,” he paused to give you a particularly hard thrust that threw you closer to the brink. “don’t want anyone findin’ us, do we?” the rasp and growl of his voice was unreal but he kept talking, and you buried your head into his neck to ground you.
he smelled of a smoky battlefield and fertile earth and honey sweeter than you’d ever tasted. a delicate lick at the sweaty sheen coating his skin had your tastebuds in paralysis and hardcase grunting mando’a curses as his pace grew erratic. he was close.
your walls began to flutter around him, you telling him that you were close with a moan.
“that’s it mesh’la, i want ya to come for me, you can do it beautiful,” he gripped your thigh and pulled it up his waist, spreading you further open for him and oh force it was unbelievable.
“come with me, please!”
“i’m about to, i’m gonna- where do you want it?” images ran through your head of him unloading onto your tongue or your chest and it nearly made you one with the force, but there was plenty of time in the future to experiment with that. you wanted him in you, to fill you up in every sense of the word.
“cum inside me, hardcase!” suffice to say, hardcase was not expecting that reply, shuddering in ecstasy at the thought of his seed leaking out of you.
“sugar, you’re killin’ me, i- holy kriff!” he thrusted a few more times before slamming into you balls deep, making sure that not a drop of him spilled out of you in that moment. you flexed around his cock and milked him for everything he had as the sensation brought you over the edge with him, his name repeated like a prayer.
he braced himself as much as he could before collapsing partly on top of you, sweaty skin mingling against sweaty skin. he was still inside you and the slightest movement ran the risk of overstimulation, but you didn’t want him to leave you empty yet. so you wrapped your arms around him and rolled you both on your sides, facing each other while still keeping him inside you.
you brought your hand to cup his cheek, running your fingers feather light across the lines and dots that decorated his face. he hummed in pleasure, eyes shutting in bliss. his hand not supporting his side was gently stroking the crook of your hip. neither of you spoke for several minutes, just letting yourselves bask in the afterglow.
then hardcase has an idea.
“hey sweetheart,” he begins softly, still hesitant to speak but just as badly wanting you to hear what he has to say. your hum of acknowledgement spurs him on. “wanna go for a swim?”
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this man was sent by the gods.
that’s what you told yourself as he slowly slid out of you and helped guide you to the edge of the closest pond. you slid in and he was right behind you, immediately pulling you as close as he could. he didn’t try to continue the prior activities, just simply leaned against the edge of the pond and held you close.
you couldn’t remember the last time you were held for a reason outside of warmth and self-preservation. it was bliss, so comforting and peaceful and safe. you floated and let hardcase anchor you to him, fully trusting him to keep you above the surface as he held you and talked about anything and everything.
the conversation was easy and the touches soft as you talked away the night. you eventually wrapped your arms around his neck and used his chest as a pillow, taking comfort from the way his hands smoothed over the bruises he made in your skin a few hours earlier. his heartbeat was steady against your, the thumping strong and true.
“hey sugar,” he whispered into your hair before slowly unwrapping your arms from his neck. you let him and the water move your body, your back pressed against his chest and his arms holding you in place once again. “look over here.” he pointed to the sky where the sun was beginning to rise, the sky painted in pastel pink and lavender and marigold.
it’s been too long since you’ve gotten to watch the sun rise on your home planet. sharing the moment with hardcase made it all the more a beautiful. “hardcase, it’s gorgeous.”
he smiled and kissed your crown. “it doesn’t compare to a certain jedi i know, don’t even come close.”
“i didn’t know you had a thing for anakin, dear. i’ll be sure to let him know.”
he sputtered in indignation, laughing at the insinuation but taking it as a challenge as well. “you know that’s not who i’m talking about, beautiful.” one hand slides down through the water and comes to rest between your thighs, his index and middle fingers teasing your clit. you push your ass against his dick in retaliation and reeling as you feel him stiffen against you.
you spent the sunrise w in ith hardcase slowly thrusting into you, lips locked together and hands caressing your bodies gently. your legs were wrapped around his waist as he pressed you against the pond’s edge, taking his time with you as the stars faded from view.
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aces-to-apples · 4 years
Text
Written for Day 5: Fluff of Codywan Week 2020 @codywanweek
Here on AO3
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: Multi Relationship: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi Characters: CC-2224 | Cody, CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker Additional Tags: Background Padmé Amidala/CT-7567 | Rex/Anakin Skywalker, Implied/Referenced Future Rexsoka, GFY
For best results please look at this Rex and this Cody before reading.
“tribute”
Another one of the local little chompers marched towards the dais with all the solemnity and determination of a verd’ika plucking their first set of whites off the assembly line. Cody met Rex’s eye and they both very carefully avoided grinning at the sight. Not only could it be bad for their relationship with said locals, it wouldn’t do to let their Jedi think they were, in fact, having a good time up there.
When the kid came to a halt a ‘respectful’ distance away, Cody nodded for them to approach and bent his head to receive the kid’s blessing and subsequent gift. He watched Rex do the same.
The celebration had been going for hours, by that point, and they’d amassed a pile of shiny little wearable trinkets to give any sovereign of Naboo a run for their credits and enough blessings to make them holier than most deities. It’d been a relief, at the start of the night, to hear that—aside from the ceremonial outfits they’d been bullied into wearing—he and Rex were free to redistribute the gifts as they saw fit. Something about sharing luck, or good vibes, or what have you.
Said ceremonial outfits, on the other hand, they were obliged to keep and maintain with honor.
Obi-Wan had smoothed over any offense they’d given with their lacklustre reaction to the news but Rex’s general had been less than subtle in his delight at their new possessions. Tano, at least, had just told them they looked nice and kept her own mocking to a bare minimum.
And it wasn’t that they were grateful, Cody had reflected at the start of the celebration, when he and Rex had stepped out under the light of the moons to deafening cheers, but. It wasn’t quite their style, no matter how well the two of them pulled off the intricate, and admittedly beautiful, get-ups.
Rex, by dint of his Torrent paintjob, had been immediately deemed the locals’ Goddess of War come again and draped accordingly in layers of blue fabric. Some of it was dark and blaster-resistant and some of it pale and so sheer as to be almost nonexistent. Bands of silver, often studded with precious blue stones, were wrapped around his wrists, forearms, biceps, and throat, and a silver cap affixed with yet more jewels and a pale blue veil had been placed on his head with much reverence.
After a great deal of muttered debate, they determined that Cody must be their war deity’s twin, the Goddess of Beauty. Not an insult by any means…
The traditional garb he’d been presented with, by contrast, was deep red with a long flowing cape and headdress of heavy twisted fabric. It came with its own set of jewelry, as well, shining gold and polished red stones, bulky and eye-catching around his wrists and throat and slim and delicate around his forearms and biceps. Something about the placement was culturally significant, but hells if Cody was going to ask what.
They’d already lost the battle against: 1) staying for several days to rest and recuperate, 2) accepting the titles of living incarnations of their local deities and all the celebration that entailed, and 3) keeping both the get-ups and the gifts for themselves.
No way was Cody going to invite more conversation about their cultural practices. He could win against droids and bounty-hunters and half-baked Sith, but apparently, he couldn’t convince a bunch of over-awed, Mid Rim locals that he and Rex weren’t tools of War and Beauty.
Tools of the Republic, sure, but nothing divine.
The leader of the city they’d liberated had just smiled gently and reassured them that belief on their part was not necessary, only acceptance of their gratitude. Which came with lots of shiny metal, sparkly rocks, and a pair of gowns that they had to either accept or throw into a sacrificial fire and publicly reject.
Obi-Wan had stepped in at that point.
He’d assured everyone that they had no interest in disrespecting their culture and asked for a debrief about the ceremony.
Wear the outfits, sit on the thrones, and let people fawn over them at least a little bit, had basically been the long and short of it. But, hey, they were comfortably cushioned, well-fed, and kept hydrated throughout the whole thing, so it could have been worse. Sharp-toothed little ankle-biters shyly kissing their foreheads and handing them shiny bits and bobs before scampering off weren’t much of a hardship.
“How’re you fellas doing?” Skywalker asked, strolling up to the dais with a grin that had yet to falter all night. “Getting into the spirit of the thing? Really feeling the divinity flow through you?”
Plenty vode had wandered over to check on them over the course of the night, mostly to heckle, but the Jedi had visited just as frequently. And for similar reasons, too.
The way Rex’s general had been eyeing him all night, Cody was almost worried for Rex’s safety. He’d heard plenty of complaints from Obi-Wan about Skywalker’s willingness to eat damn near anything; who was to say that he hadn’t acquired a taste for Mandalorian-adjacent flesh and wouldn’t gobble poor Rex up in just a few bites.
He was pretty sure Commander Tano was having some kind of intermittent crisis over at their table as well.
It was his responsibility, as both Marshal Commander and ori’vod, to bring his concerns to his superior officer and then ruthlessly mock all three of them. After Skywalker eventually got tired of making Rex blush and wandered away whistling a jaunty tune to a very raunchy cantina song, that was.
“So does that ‘angel’ of his know the two of you have started sharing blankets since your last stop-over on Coruscant or should I start planning your funeral now?” Cody said archly, watching his vod’ika visibly consider punching him. “I’ll be sure to wear this and lie about how smart and good-looking you are, like a proper vod.”
Rex pressed a hand over his eyes and groaned. “Angel knows,” he admitted, darting an unsubtle glance at his general’s shebs. “What I am afraid of, though, is that next time we stop over on Coruscant she’s gonna have a whole new wardrobe just like this one and it will just happen to be in my size.”
“Well, hey, get a full-coverage veil and you’re probably good to step out with them,” Cody said with false sympathy, gleefully imagining the uproar that would cause. “Just make sure they’re made out of that fabric that’s designed to ruin holos. Pakod.”
The ol’ boy made a sound like a malfunctioning mouse-droid.
“Is it too much to believe that I’d like to spend whatever leave I get wearing as few clothes as possible?” he wailed, quietly, with a desperation that made Cody think this was an argument he and the senator had gotten into before. With this revelation in mind, he snapped a few holos of his own while Rex was distracted and vowed to get them to the senator if Skywalker’s brain cell was too lonely to manage it. “Isn’t it enough that I have this already?”
“Oh, dear me,” a low voice said from behind Cody’s left ear, “I can’t imagine how terrible it must be to have two attractive, attentive lovers who wish to shower you with tokens of their affection. Truly, Captain, your misery must be exquisite.”
Cody turned his head to press a sloppy kiss to Obi-Wan’s cheek in gratitude for the pitiful sound his words had drawn out of his favorite brother.
“General,” Rex whined pathetically, “they keep getting me plants. Alive ones, dead ones, prickly ones, poisonous ones. My quarters are being taken over by non-sentient invaders.”
Obi-Wan made a little noise of patently fake sympathy. “My old master’s quarters were like that as well,” he commiserated, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin behind Cody’s ear. The noise of the locals around them changed in pitch, but Cody’d had enough to drink over the course of the evening to not feel worried by the change. If he was lucky, Obi-Wan would be shoved into a pretty outfit like this next. “It drove me mad that he never formally answered, let alone turned down, any of the suits. Just let the poor, smitten beings keep sending him gifts. So uncivilized.”
“Speaking of uncivilized,” Cody said, wondering if he could get away with pulling Obi-Wan down onto his lap.
Rex rolled his eyes. “If I don’t get to canoodle in public with my Jedi then you don’t get to with yours,” he huffed, leaning over to push Obi-Wan a few inches away. “Leave room for the Force, sirs.”
“‘Leave room for the Force’?” Obi-Wan repeated, nonplussed, while Cody found himself hung up on, “Canoodle?”
No longer quite so flustered, Rex shrugged. “Skywalker talks like a scandalized opera singer, sometimes, and Ahsoka says that when she catches the lads giving each other a tune-up. How’s the kid doing, by the way?”
“Well,” Obi-Wan said ruefully, “she’s seventeen and in the middle of a war and puberty. Thus far, I believe she’s coped by placing you all in the ‘dear friends and family whom deserve her utmost respect’ category of her mind, rather than allowing herself to see you as attractive young men. Tonight seems to be causing some kind of breakdown in that line of thinking.”
Cody turned to give Rex his full attention and clapped him on the shoulder. “Cheers, vod’ika, keep it up and you might have a full set soon!”
In response, Rex covered his face with both hands and groaned again.
“Remind me to send the good captain some appropriate literature about age of consent laws, would you, dear?” Obi-Wan murmured into his ear. He most assuredly was not leaving room for the Force between them. “Until then, I believe you mentioned being uncivilized?”
Cody made a mental note to remind him as requested before standing up, bowing at the local assembly, and following Obi-Wan wherever he led.
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newta · 5 years
Text
I just watched clone wars and Ventress said:"Oh General Kenobi, always after Skywalker. How predictable."
And honestly just imagine in the middle of a warzone Obi Wan is like:" Okay I have a plan-"
But Anakin just runs in there, screaming.
So the only logical thing, to do as Anakins Master, is to run after him. Also screaming.
Rex and Cody share some looks.
Bonus points:
Ahsoka is late, comes around like
"Hey what did I miss?"
Sees them screaming.
"AH. I see the usual plan."
Starts screaming herself.
So the trio has three brain cells that they are sharing.
Obi Wan has two of them.
Ahsoka has the other one.
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commanderscody · 5 years
Text
cody, rex, and sunbeam all share one exact brain cell and usually its sunbeam hogging it all to himself because he has to deal with anakin and his dumb shit
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charity-angel · 7 years
Text
On Buns and Ovens (10/?)
[Part 1]   [Part 9]
[Read on AO3]   because formatting and cuts and Mando'a translations
Rex was hovering in mid-air over him, a blur of face and torso surrounded by bright light. Why was he doing that? And, more importantly, how?
“Hey, sleepy,” he said. His voice was light, but it didn’t follow through to the grave expression on his face. “How are you feeling?”
“My head hurts,” Kix mumbled. “Did I hit it?”
“Kix.” That was another vod, off to his right. Kix turned, and blinked. It looked like...
“Ryll?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked, and Kix felt a swell of pride - his boy had stepped up, and was coping well. He wasn’t even shaking. As long as he had someone to watch out for him (to make him rest when the tremors inevitably did start), he was going to thrive when he was finally allowed to take his exams.
“We were at Senator Amidala’s, with Ahsoka,” he said slowly, retaining the presence of mind not to mention a certain someone else. “General Kenobi was there, and… we were talking about this thing with Tup and the virus.”
Ryll shook his head, smiling. “Well, you remember enough to not say certain things. I know about Fives.”
“Oh.” Kix sat up slowly, thinking. “Oh! My chip’s out?”
“Knew you’d get there. So, how do you feel?”
Kix shrugged. “Apart from the hole in my head, pretty much… they took my lines out, didn’t they?”
Ryll smirked. “Try looking at it more as ‘you match Jesse’.”
Kix laughed, and ran a hand over his shorn scalp. “Yeah, true. I’m not feeling homicidal, if that’s what you mean.”
“And how do you feel about our jetiise?”
“Skywalker’s a pain in the ass, but at least he’s ours,” Kix said without hesitation. “Kenobi –“ he glanced over at Rex, who was studying his reaction with interest: “he’s insane in the field, but we can trust him with anything.”
Rex grinned, which was more than a little bit in relief.
Ryll made a couple of notes on his pad. “You feel like killing either of them?”
Kix wanted to glare, but he knew that was something they desperately needed to check. “Not currently. We’ll see how I feel next time they next do something idiotic. Why? Oh, you think…”
He sighed and buried his head in his hands. “You think Tup’s actually did what it’s supposed to, without whatever the trigger is supposed to be.”
Rex gave him a haunted look. “I can’t think too hard about it, but you know what it is.”
He did? Kix couldn’t think what it could possibly be that would make them betray their jetiise.
“Can I see what you took out?”
“Sure,” Ryll said. “Come through to our secret lab.”
Kix eyed him carefully. “If you can make jokes like that, I’m not working you hard enough.”
“Ignore him,” Rex said to Ryll. “He gets extra cranky when he’s a patient. Come on, vod’ika.”
“I’m older than you!” Kix said indignantly.
Rex led them out of the recovery room Kix had woken up in and along a corridor to… well, as it turned out, Ryll hadn’t been joking that much: it was a medical lab. In there was Jesse and Fives, along with Ahsoka and General Kenobi, and a couple of the jetiise healers Kix had worked with before.
Ahsoka wrapped herself around him in an attack-hug, and he couldn’t help but relax into her familiar embrace.
Fives looked alert, if not somewhat pissed. Kix could appreciate that: he was getting there himself.
“My turn,” Rex said, steering Kix towards a stool between Fives and Jesse. “We’ve got three positive results – I think I’m risking more by keeping this karking thing in my head.”
“Agreed, Captain Rex,” Healer Awaraven said. “Even if we can’t work out for certain what this does, we can verify that it doesn’t do what the Kaminoans say they do.”
“Sirs, I appreciate why no-one has said about mine,” Ryll said, “and if you really think it’ll do more harm to remove it then I’ll not say anything else, but I’d rather have it out, if it’s all the same.”
“If I might,” Healer Tayla said, turning on her stool so that she faced Ryll, “the triggering of this chip might be highly detrimental to your unique neuropathology; more so than for the rest of your brothers.”
Awaraven nodded. “Quite so. We’ll remove yours as soon as Captain Rex’s surgery has been complete although, as you know, the anaesthetic is more difficult for you. Fortunately, Captain Kix has kept copious notes, and I trust his judgement.”
Rex and Ryll turned to head out with the two Jedi healers.
“K’oyacyi,” Kix said. It wasn’t a ‘goodbye’, the standard interpretation of the phrase. Kix genuinely meant it as an instruction to them both.
“Ven’narir, vod,” Rex replied. He still looked tense, and Kix knew that wouldn’t ease now until this had been resolved.
  .oOo.
  Once they were gone, Kix turned his attention to Fives.
“How are you?”
Fives shrugged. “Well, I’m not tripping any more,” he said. “That’s a bright side. But, I’m freezing, I’m a fugitive, and I’m being set up.”
Kix rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You’re not alone, though,” he pointed out. “We all believed you enough to go under the knife.”
“And I will continue to attempt to persuade the rest of the Council,” Kenobi added.
“I’m not sure there’s much point, sir,” Kix said. “Not if the Sith can mess with their heads like I think he can.”
Kenobi met his eyes. “I hate to have to agree, but it does seem like the only reasonable explanation.”
“It makes perfect sense,” Ahsoka growled. “It’s scary that someone could be that powerful, but…”
Kenobi’s gaze was on Kix, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“You want to know where I was going with my thoughts when I blacked out?”
Kenobi nodded. “I do. I have a suspicion: I want to see whether you have reached the same conclusion.”
“Someone in the Senate, with enough power to pull strings with the army? Someone high enough up to feed intelligence to the Seppies? There’s really only two people powerful enough to even consider and, well, the Chancellor could be a puppet, but if Dooku and Ventress are anything to go by, the Sith are an egotistic, megalomaniacal lot. The head bad guy isn’t going to hide behind someone else. He’d just hide in plain sight instead, gathering enough power to take over everything.”
Kenobi was nodding, and Ahsoka looked horrified. Fives didn’t appear surprised (and no wonder – he was lucky to be alive!). Jesse – for once, Kix was struggling to read him.
“But… Skyguy’s friends with him.”
“That’s why he isn’t here, isn’t it?” Jesse asked, his voice lacking any inflection. “Because you suspected, and his head’s probably been messed up more than ours.”
Kenobi nodded sadly. “The pieces do seem to fit, don’t they? But it’s taken this unfortunate event to allow those pieces to slot into place, for some reason. I suspect that this was not part of the Chancellor’s – Lord Sidious’ – plan. Whatever spell he has cast over us to stop us from seeing has come apart slightly.
“And yes, Jesse, you are absolutely correct: I have kept this from Anakin on purpose, precisely because he is close to… to Sidious. I think Ahsoka suspects why Sidious wants Anakin – there is a reason, and I’ll share it when Rex and Ryll return. I’ll have to start getting some of my troops here too, but that would look too suspicious at the moment. For the time being, Anakin is being kept busy with the search, and we will fill him in when we are certain he is not a danger to himself or others.”
Ahsoka’s lekku were bunched unhappily and Kix had absolutely no idea what to say to help her process this. That their boss, the head of the army, was the Sith Lord they had been searching for all this time – that their general was friends with him – was a bit too much to take.
“Come on, show me what this is all about,” he said, in a blatant attempt to change the subject.
Kenobi reached over and picked a slide off the workbench. He handed it over wordlessly. Kix held it up to the light: it didn’t look like much, just any old sample that the healers here could have been examining: a couple of cells deep and smaller than his thumb.
“The healers can tell you the specifics,” Jesse said when Kix lowered it, baffled, “because there were words that went over my head, but best they’ve been able to describe it to us is that this disrupts the part of our brains that makes us us, and turns us into flesh droids. We’d follow orders, and eat, sleep and shit, but nothing else.”
“One order, specifically,” Fives added darkly. “Contingency Order Sixty-Six.”
Kix had to think that one over because, while he had learned the contingency orders, he had had more important things to fill his brain with instead, like how to make his brothers not die. And he had a Jesse for that kind of thing.
“They’re the ridiculous, worst case scenario orders, aren’t they? The ones that cover things like who takes command if the Chancellor is unfit for duty, or eliminating an asshole via mass-execution, or handling a bio-attack, or…”
“Or if that waste of oxygen decides that the Jedi are ‘acting against the Republic’,” Jesse concluded. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“But, one the plus side, if we can get someone to initiate one of the Orders to remove him from office, he can’t give Order Sixty-Six,” Fives added.
“I’m all for Order Sixty-Five myself,” Jesse said bitterly. At Kenobi’s questioning expression, he quoted: “‘In the event of either (i) a majority in the Senate declaring the Supreme Commander (Chancellor) to be unfit to issue orders, or (ii) the Security Council declaring him or her to be unfit to issue orders, and an authenticated order being received by the GAR, commanders shall be authorised to detain the Supreme Commander, with lethal force if necessary, and command of the GAR shall fall to the acting Chancellor until a successor is appointed or alternative authority identified as outlined in Section 6 (iv).’”
Their jetii looked faintly horrified.
“Order Sixty-Six is pretty much the same, only it’s less vague about lethal force,” Kix said. “I get why they’re so angry. Give me some time and I’ll probably get there too.”
“There are a few contingencies that can be used to remove the Chancellor from power,” Fives said. “Order Sixty-Five is the most extreme, but it’s probably also the best one, because ‘acting Chancellor’ is a vague idea at best. Order Four throws command to the vice chair, and he’s probably a puppet, and you’d have to ‘incapacitate’ the bastard; Order Five goes to the Chief of the Defence Staff, and xe’s probably no better.”
Kenobi blinked. “Sidious gave you three different ways he could be removed from control of the army, just to hide an order about the Jedi?”
“Fives is right, though,” Kix pointed out. “Given how manipulative the Sith are, even if we removed him from power somehow, his replacements are likely to just be proxies. At least an acting Chancellor has to be nominated diplomatically and, good as he is, I don’t think he could get to everyone in the Senate. If someone like Senator Amidala or Senator Organa was nominated, we’d be absolutely fine.”
“Until they get assassinated by a Sith,” Jesse pointed out. Well, wasn’t he just a total ray of sunshine today?
“Well,” Kenobi said, decisively, “we shall just have to make sure that doesn’t happen. Now, failing an overall majority in the Senate, did you say it was the Security Council we have to convince?”
[Part 11]
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kila9nishika · 7 years
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Tony in Star Wars 4/?
Feeling crappy right now.  Depression sucks.
Decided to cheer myself up by posting more fic, since it’s the only thing I have any motivation for at the moment.
@peskylilcritter - we’re back in Star Wars ‘verse!
Star Wars Note-  Attempting to draw an inclusive timeline of the Clone Wars is hard.   Important to note is that I have made Obi-Wan and Anakin’s time with the 212th and 501st begin much earlier in the timeline than is canonical.  Some events are EU and some events are canonical.  You don’t need to be particularly educated about the details of events, just be aware that stuff is going on behind the scenes, and that it will show up “on-screen” if it’s important.
Marvel Universe Note- This is canonical up to and including Avengers (2012), but not including any of the movies or TV or associated media following it.  I may include characters and concepts from later MCU ‘events,’ but this is not canonical Phase Two and beyond.  That said, there are characters and plot concepts taken from Age of Ultron, so please be aware of spoilers.
3rd Month, Day 22, 25032 Galactic Standard.  Orbiting Alzoc, Alzoc System, Sujimis Sector.
“He did what?”  Anakin refused to acknowledge that he might have just shouted.  A little.
Obi-Wan gave him the smile that most of the troops had begun to refer to as ‘The General’s Crazy Smile.’  “He made an explosive using three cleaning bots, a broken lightbulb, and a power cell from my lightsaber.”
“And it blew up the whole fucking complex,” Cody cut in, his head still in his hands.  Anakin (and Ahsoka, and Rex, and every person on the Force-damned ship) had offered him the use of a ‘fresher and a bunk, but Cody seemed to be in a state of ‘Kenobi-shock.’  (That being the state one fell into when Obi-Wan inevitably did something so stupid and insane that it actually worked, and of course left massive amounts of destruction behind it.)  “It blew up the whole fucking complex.”
From her position in the pilot’s seat, Ahsoka snorted.  “Someone get poor Cody a drink before he combusts from sheer shock.”
The door slid open.  “Everyone is either in the med wing or sleeping, General,” Rex stated, stepping into the room.  He raised an eyebrow at Obi-Wan.  “Growing the beard again, sir?”
Obi-Wan rubbed at his still-growing beard.  It currently looked, in Anakin’s opinion, as if Obi-Wan had gathered some of the hair from a haircut and pasted it hastily to his chin and cheeks.
“They thought I was a Padawan,” Obi-Wan said, after a moment.  “No offense, Ahsoka, but that’s a bit insulting, at my age.”
“Your age being the creaky old age of thirty seven,” Ahsoka returned, stepping out of the pilot’s seat.  She turned to Anakin.  “Orbit is on auto, for now, Master.”
“Good.”  Anakin turned to Obi-Wan, who hadn’t bothered with a retort, only to find the older man asleep on his feet.  Literally.  “Rex, can you -”
Rex didn’t even blink, picking up Obi-Wan as if the Jedi was a small child.  Obi-Wan didn’t so much as stir as Rex carried him to the nearest bunk.
Cody, Anakin noticed, had fallen asleep on the table.  Anakin turned to Ahsoka.  “We appear to be surrounded by overtired and sleeping people, Padawan.”
“Who rescued themselves, too!” Ahsoka chirped.  “Permission to take a night shift and go to fucking bed, sir?”
“As long as you ration that kind of language,” Anakin said, wincing.  “When we get back to Coruscant, everyone’s going to blame that kind of thing on me.”
Ahsoka snorted, walking out of the room.  “Sorry, Master, but you’re the prude on this ship.”  She grinned at him as the door slid shut behind her.
Anakin shut his eyes, and carefully envisioned Padmé.  For her sake, he would keep his temper, despite the fact that Obi-Wan had dragged in the most irritating man Anakin had ever met.  For her sake, he would look after himself, and more importantly, his health.
And in this case, that meant sleep.
Time to turn in.
4th Month, Day 1, 25032 Galactic Standard. Exiting Merthian Sector, Entering Iseno Sector.
Anakin frowned from across the room as Stark and a good chunk of 212th laughed together over something Stark had said.
“Thinking?”  Obi-Wan sat down beside him, staring at his ration bar as if it was a dangerous creature instead of necessary nutrients.
“Wondering,” Anakin said shortly, attempting to wipe his frown from his face.  “Obi-Wan, the man is a menace.  Why do you like him?”  And why, Anakin couldn’t help but think, are you being a giant hypocrite and teaching him how to use the Force?
Obi-Wan smiled fondly.  “He reminds me of Master Micah, a bit. Wildly inappropriate sense of humor, oddly diverse set of skills, and a strange ability to make friends with those he argues with - though, that last one was a trait that Master Qui-Gon shared with Master Micah.”  His face darkened.  “And, Anakin, if you have a problem with my teaching him control, please use your words instead of bleeding it into the Force.  Ahsoka woke me up last night and asked why you were upset about it.”
Anakin flushed.  “Well, it’s not right!  Everyone dithered and complained about teaching me about the Force, saying I was too old, and I was only nine!”
Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.  “Anakin, there was never any doubt about teaching you.”  Anakin opened his mouth to argue, but Obi-Wan raised a hand.  “There was doubt about training you as a Jedi.”
“What’s the difference?”  Anakin tried to sound flippant, and had a feeling that he just came off as sulky.
“Enormous!”  Obi-Wan’s eyes flashed for a moment, before his annoying calm returned.  “Anakin, people who are as powerful as you are in the Force are a tremendous danger if they go untrained.  They end up a danger to themselves, or they end up like - like Asajj Ventress.  The problem with older people being trained is that they are not brought up in the ways of the Jedi.  The culture, Anakin, and the mindset.  Most people who are found at nine or ten years old are trained in control, given a permanent way of communicating with the Order, and sent off to live their lives if they do not wish to be employed by the Order.”
Anakin couldn’t help but gape.  “What?”
Obi-Wan seemed to shrink into himself a bit.  “Sometimes, I wonder if we have not done you a disservice, by training you as a Jedi and not simply in control and allowing you to live as other people do.  Perhaps…”
“No!” Anakin interrupted.  “I was meant to be a Jedi!”
Obi-Wan stood up, his ration bar uneaten.  He looked at Anakin sadly.  “But if you were not Jedi, there would be none of the hardship you often have with rules and teamwork.  You could live your life as a free man.  Marry.  Have a family.  We are well aware that the Jedi life is not for everyone, Anakin.”
He turned away, walking briskly towards the exit of the room.  As he walked past the group of clones and Stark, Stark brightened.  “Hey, wizard!”
Anakin shoved away his confusion - he could think about that later - and scowled at Stark.  More than anyone else, the person that Stark reminded him of was Knight Garen Muln, for much of the same reasons that Obi-Wan had listed about the late Master Micah Giett.  The biggest differences, Anakin thought, was that Garen was not a tech-head, was unlikely to boast aside from in jest, and did not have Stark's irritating propensity to nickname everyone.  Anakin would have thought it an insult, if it wasn't for the fact that there was clearly affection in Stark's voice when he called Obi-Wan "wizard."
Anakin refused to think about the fact that Obi-Wan often returned the nickname with "bot-brain."  It made something burn in the back of his throat when he thought too long about it.
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Clone Wars    Kidnapped
Also, yeah how do you   follow up an episode like that?
    Also isn’t this like the     second kidnapped episode?
Oh
You know we actually needed the levity so that I am completely OK with the saving a   thing plot,
  Gives time to breathe-
Ho-nest,      This place looks pretty     neat,
[Though they still knowingly enabled     Tox be    hav-ior]
This is the equivalent of someone ditch    -ing productivity,      And att      -em       pt       Ing          To     Go     Straight         To     creat-iv-ity        Before      anything’s       set up,]
And I should really be careful   not   to get distracted by the pretty lights,
Wa-     rr    ior-
Well least      tox
  Whe         lp,       In-        Sti        gators       ,    Fe      ck,      -      Oh hey that   war we enabl     -ed
 Whelp
Okay, seriously who is that guy?         (Normally I wouldn’t be so nervous        (but the last few episodes                 Not Krell          The under water                   One)       Introduced a guy of a   random species that we have never heard or seen of    and he died before we ever did,
            So,
             I’m                   a                  Little                Nervous                    ,     (I like different   species,)
His design       seems      nice          ...    Neu       tral.
Yet we won’t assume the amount of   accoun-   tability necessary to     enforce it       Don’t get      me wrong;     I don’t want an  infinity war
  But if you enable, be prepared for the consequences and/or to push it back, (what      ever        You       Left,)         Whenever        it comes for your life,         For the rest of it,  (Or until you snap and       hold it accountable,)
      Pro-tection
Usual spiel    but it works.
You know that would’ve worked really well with overinvolved     positivity,
  Though at this point it’s pretty clear they are going for the clear-cut        Jedi- are      Posit         Ive          Ly         Over-          Involv        e               -d-            (Sith - negative)
  And more so         general   “everyone is a     shithead,”         Kinda         Vibe.
   Which is perfectly fine,
    Why?
   That’s a lot
 [also never mind with the     - warning - or get into lines,]
  Obi-Wan looks really young-er      in the scene for some reason
     -His face
         -it’s too smooth
           - and are his eyes a bit bigger?
  10
  Also yeah they specifically told us not to get involved and that they were going to do it on their own       I-n.       Ia        tiv        e
   But screw that
  “Let’s   escalate the situation!”
   Despite that being literally what the dude       fears and probably        his nightmares
                              [screw respecting other adult’(s) initia     tive]
    I know Dooku is implied to be really feckin tox also
   But talk means nothing
   Dude has to have the actions       Attempt it on himself and decide what to do for        himself,
     He’s decided to enable,          Ain’t nothing       that can be done         about that,
[What    was that look?
   [also did Obi-Wan not ask what happened               down there?]
               Great
                Time for   warfare
                 For the Jedi that can’t take a   “no,”             For an   an   -swer
 Gr      -e         a-t        -       ?       Voice    -act         -ing       -       People        Shield             -               What,          I’ve-         Watch          -ed             The     Watton           Boar         -         Arc-           -      -Battle
   Yeah but it’s      -also      pretty     bullshit          - (when have the separatist ever respected the Gen       eva convention?)
    Rex-        Has a           Feck’in            Point
   I
(Also that doesn’t tell them anything this could be    basic    clankers    when no   in fact they are commando droids              )
Ana       Kin’s         Voice      De-eper?
Com       -man                  do-
       [I have a feeling they’re really trying to contest           the we have no fig           -h-ters)
         Lin                  e-             -             A-g                  ain-
        O-h                           Sir,           Oh,           ,           Also, how?
     But also         ok that            guy,
               Surprisingly,     calm        ly      spoken-
    So this could make a great scene    contrasting Obi- won’s I believe   moral nature,       With another strategist that seems to be believing some kind of     chivalry
   [Also, OH SHIT,   is that where they’re keeping the     pris    oners,
  Whelp
   Anakin is a         dick to        holograms,
Seriously      you could’ve      just turned it off,
     [if you had news       or opinion to share        ?)- 
Ok, where the    fuck?
    [Don’t, get me wrong I know Anakin,         was an ex slave,           Everything else             is new..  .  
 Including his    rage towards it,
      Me,
 Hey, they’re being smart    about this,         -                        Up-   s-   et-
Yes,   thank you,   did I miss     something?
P-ast
Doesn’t     justify any of this     bullshit. .
I     mean,
Literally no one     is smarter   than anyone else
 So       Ana        Kin,      ,      OK but that’s a whole different species     and/or a group - -           this is not “past”    this is I just hate feck     -ing    sl-av        er s              -                       And possibly un-vented            anger at trauma-         -                          Either way pretty damn           va                 -lid                  -                         Dis-              trust                 -              Whe-  
Oka-y         ,          I don’t- 
  Also is that an animal or     sentient?            - A game      I find myself playing           to no         One         ‘s      Cha        -grin-         -,         Oh
    Arro         gan      -c-          e
    Ah- tak        e?          ,            Also he has a    non-evil       pet           -            That’s kinda          cute
       But also kinda sad,            Hint,ing          at the fact              Dude was probably intended to be some kind of   animal      focus        (Someone who works around or just generally likes animals - special             ity)
       Before he went     corrupt
            (Showing some    interest in keeping them out of the battlefield,                    And                  Fond-ness)
       Or this could just be a short han     d-e        d symbolism                 For              slavery          and   grooming          -          Both    -work           -             Do        -Tell           -          [oh yeah         dude totally gave away his plan,]
     Despite Obi-Wan almost clearly not being          in earshot
     Nice interaction         * introduction
   Also     ,doesn’t he         already know,            Holo-gra       -m    -         Formal     in-         tro         duc-          tions            -                Are           Nice,             -              Er-
    Seriously what is up with         these two            people?
     Also why did dude           growl?
    For people that look like cats      they sure act like dogs              (Bor- d       -er)        (Nothing wrong with that-        just-         curious-             “      -i
    How?
    Also they’re just really shout-ing their      plans out here      aren’t they?
    S-u        -rr          en-          der-            -           Obi- won    still playing        along..     ——           W-help            -           He       gave        him            a         chance             -         Whelp-
    O-k
  Honestly he’s acting pretty calm and      diff-erent-ly characterized,             The Kenobi we know wouldn’t raise             a hand to help even himself                   (In ani.)             Also            I’m surprised Aniken hasn’t stumbled across anything by           now,
       Thought that would be the        crutch            of the narr-ative tension in the          office,
       But          Aight           ,         Calling the chips early is completely fine I will never have an issue with chara-     ter     -(s-     acting slightly smarter than expected,
Though wish Anakin had shown some kind of      initia-       tive-
 Like the stories telling us that he’s really      pumped up   “about      the     whole      slave      thing,”          . . .         But has just found          nada when it comes down to      rescuing the slaves,         Or just finding any hints about this    oper     -ation      in general,
To summarize;     What the heck has Aniken been doing the last minute      and a half             ~              ?            No-thing
[like if everyone had told him to chill due to his       clear aggression     believe he caused some harm      in his rage,
   And sent         Ahsoka         in-stead
         That would make a lot    more sense,
  [and make up Obi- wan look like less of a              Irrational Dick        By sh(ar-ing) Anakin‘s backstory         without any permission       or reason,
    While there    he might have to explain to       Ahsoka    why he’s sending her      and not Anakin,]
  Just-        Writer       Th-       ough   -t-         -      Treat-        ment          -    “ You have broken        through my         defenses,”
   Emotionally             or            ...      physically?             . .           Never           mind-
        Would’ve              been nice      if someone actually took him up on that          offer               -              (Like some villain(/enabler) is like you know what my job sucks,    my boss sucks, I could really use an       nap...
    Sure]     ..     They were just standing there          ...      doing nothing,
     Like,      Dude literally just said       there were bombs planted all over the city,
  And, no one’s in a ru-sh            to fix that-
       Or use them to find the           kidnapped people..
[I   mean      fair       ...    but      geez.
   Colo      -nists,
     Again,      where are they?            . . .             You supposedly sent Anakin to find       - them but we haven’t seen anything           -               Also yeah the dude is totally going to give up    his only bargaining     chip         . . .           After being          out gunn        -ed-            -            Well             -           Also you have one button that only activate(s     one mine?
          Like did you, set that up just for the purpose of    in-timi     dating people
   Also congrats    you likely threw away    your only bargaining chip                 -      because from his point of view     the explosion already went off-                        -       And he doesn’t know that you had one     specific button just for that      one mine-             -      (Like it   doesn’t sound that loud but he could’ve gotten     hear-ing probl-em (s-) from the      near- by      explosions,     )
  We-         ll-
   “Col-on-ists,”
  Oh     good thing you told him after you destroy-ed the       thing-
   And he didn’t go into attack mode and you have a light saber press-ed to your throat-
   dumb
I’m sorry but that’s just so adorable
   Look         at            it;
   Man like(s soft squishy things and    he doesn’t seem to be      hurt          ing-           -it,
      Like,           How               ?
        Also, did       no one check               for               that               shit?
Like,      No-
Me-      dic
 Wh-       el        p-
  Bo-
 Several people      -just died           And he         comforts the    robot.. .
   Dick
Also, Maybe       It’s be       cause         Cody         is     Obi-Wan’s        Gen.       (Generation          or      General)            Doesn’t     make much         of a        dif-ference?            -         That          this        flies?      (I mean I can        understand him not giving       too much of a heck,       Due to this being a war      caused by this guys’             Gen,         But     seriously,)
     Also yeah            kinda          ,dick             ,          Screw         medical     attention,
      Well,
     That’s a lot of faith          for a whole              lot a          nothing,
     Also let’s go do the thing       we were supposed to be doing            this entire time,
   (I think)
  My brain started going numb and I half paid    attention            -         Oh, wait 
now we’re getting into the back      story?
 After they’re on the planet
  Without any       pre-emption?
 -Er
My brain      cells      are    asleep,        -        Al        -ive         -           Seriously, what is up with the   -bird     thing,
   (I really hope     it factors into his character)
   Or is brought up
  Frust-      trat-      Ion
“Zy,”
  Dude they’re slave traders    I really don’t think     you want to do that          (Just           a       thought)
Also maybe     suggest     trading        him some       exotic animals,
   Dude seems to have a pen      -chant
   And he seems to treat them    re-     lati       vely       well,
   (There   are some in cages but that just seems to be for      transport,                         ) -  no I thought you should ever take animals        out of a pre-         ferr              ed         Safe  climate
       But he could have one set up            abet a smaller one,
        Wha?             (The      voice acting           there           was         weird,)
       Also, really?
    That’s the     competition?
 (Is there ever a tradition..   
    That isn’t fighting?)
  Also, okay,
 but is it like some kind of style of fighting?
     (I swear he you challenges him to sword fighting.)
   Then again Zy-         ger-          Ian-       fighting-
  Dif-ferent rules   could be interesting
   Possibly establish           Obi-Wan                 as                a          well traveled              man,
                   (So long as he isn’t allowed to use his                         feck -in light saber,                             -) (Which     Anakin      hasn’t        been       doing         at all,
 Also lower      ed risks     are nice,
Again, not saying anything about     deactivating em,
Also what the fuck is with that guy’s facial   expressions,
  Like ever since that moment       it has gone     insane,       (As in I can’t for my life     read what they’re trying to express,       And that is the closest     translation;       I can come up with,
Never   mind      -   he’s an asshole      -    Even th-
  Screw         It
  (The       logic         is not on        the high setting           with this one.”
       Any way,              Per-
        That’s
         [do you know how back when I was revie-       wing the movie I thought about how the escalation one from         1 to 10 and the characterization switched on a dime?
               -Not to   insult,
    But this is starting to feel a lot like   that-
 My brain already very checked out at this   point-
Because I     really   don’t    need      it for     this-      -   W-
  Constant      Characteri-zation?!
   What-  
[Excuse me while I sit over here drinking my       ‘wtf just happened,’          juice
   You know      when I was reviewing (Earlier) scenes       like this;           I used to give it somewhat of a pass    saying;              (Some        thing       along           the          lines            of)
       Well people change on a dime,
  Which I’m starting to realize    getting further into this;        Is that you need some kind of sentiment       Or pre-       -empt         To        Connect          Those           Thoughts      -             The           eyes             need              to           narrow                 -               The             body          language            needs              to             change                 -      The     music       (perhaps)        a subtle       change in tone;         -        It can’t change on    that much of a dime        -
            I               don’t               need                   a                  lot;                 Just some kind of indication about what the      feck just happened,     -             Because otherwise it’s just    spaghetti      -         Like I’m sorry     but it’s true-              -      The expressions before were completely unreadable      and down          right-        unhuman,
      There was no word      ,cues to indicate anything
      And the music     which could’ve been a brief    Cue,        Of whether this is supposed to be        abrupt or         instigated,             Well I don’t,     think there is any,   
                        Fix scen;                                    e
                     This guy smirks, possibly chuckling, the bird leaving his           arm-, possibly pre-facing it with, “ well then,  let’s          be-gin,” or a body posture is simply leaning in before     pouncing,
      Telling me    this is part of the plan,
        And that’s Zygrians value a more wild style of fighting with the element of surprise      being      emphasiz       ed-
    Which makes sense considering what seems to be a      hunting         focus,
    With snark following up either confirming or     denying,  
    That as true           (Or          False)
     That his actions were        prec-        edent-        ed         or        not,
      As it stands,  
   There was no      Cue
    And I’m        completely          lost.              . . .           Whel            -p
                           Well that was a bunch of nothing                                                                                  .  .  .                               Which is a shame because it had a lot of good     subjects to focus on, Slavery, the difference between Wild and Order, tam-ing, groom-       Ing,      Cap-       tivity              -         The concept of an invasive species,
     Unfortunately the writing is so inconsistent,      And generally        poor,         That it can’t carry a beat for longer than a few     min-utes
        Well I’ve noticeably praised the attempt to take on a higher intensity material
         That doesn’t give an     excuse for the apparent drop in quality
          Often; i’ve said that            stupid villains are fine
        However       the thing that often irritates me         in those episodes;           Isn’t that the villain’s            Stupid   
          It’s the lack of          self-awareness             (Not in the poking            fun of one’s                 self                 way)
  Is that it isn’t        framed that way,
  (No snark,    very little realistic the consequences without drawing attention to it,        And very little change       except the     villain is now Stupider          Though it attempts to keep the same dramatic tension          and stakes)
   In sum        -mary:
    While I think this episode had a lot of interesting concepts to work with they will unfortunately             Wasted                   By the episode lack of commitment, consistency, and constant characterization,
      Most        notably;
     - Anakin’s resent             -ment                    Of          slavery             (His care of it turns off and on like a light switch and his intensity             varies)
         Functioning less like a Berzerk/.              accountability button                  (Mild               Responsibility)  
               And                 more                  like                   an                excuse            to have him             flip his lid,
             Make                   odd                 facial            expressions,  
             And generally put, shout  put emphasis In a nonsensical bordering on                  inhumane way
                What seems to be a disturbing trend (with the characters       ;)
               Specifically the                  Zygarian                     here
                 And                      Ani             
              -The                 difference               between            wild and tamed;                   Along with a constant theme of slavery,                  It’s paired with the constant imagery                 of animals in cages
             Which would be fine if it was actually presented as an               excessive detail,
             But the focus is put on it and nothing ever seems to come of it
            (Almost as if it’s expected that just by having      it there, the motif comes with it)
             Which no
             Animals in cages and...            What?
             Like, I have an idea         what they’re trying to hint at,
             But until           the story commits;
             “These animals           are very much like you,”
               Then it remains in                        limbo,
 As wasted time          And wasted     emphasis,            -
      The Zy-             Gar            Ian             (s)          backstory;           Note      this works off another point         about captivity,
        Now, from the little bits,  I could get from the conversation;
        The Republic                inter                   fer                  r                   e                  d,                   Note; this seems to be a pretty big deal
   The antagonist      esp          ecially             affec               t-                e-d
           By                  It,
  But we never learn much about it      or him        (How it affected)
    Yeah he re-peats           Some          po-ints;            But it���s never elaborate-         d on
         What exactly       hap-pened to him?
          What exactly       hap-pened with the conflict?
           How?
            To be more                  precise;                     This presents the idea of a rather fas-       cin-        at        ing      conflict about the over- involve-ment of an outside species into              a           Nother’s            Planet          -           And I don’t think it really       utilizes it
       Drop      ping it almost instantly,          For an almost emotion-    less        fi-        gh          t,        Where are dude repeats ‘they were happy,        And generally everything except “I”             (How he was affected)                 Or any authentic emotion
       Just unread         able        inhumane       expressions            . . .       Not much in the way of themes,        motifs,            Or anything of         real        sub-      stance-         -       Sub      Category;           The clones got injured in an            attack;             This is not treated with any sort of        heaviness              -             Or even note             (Nor to the status/            theme of captiv-               ity- or                Sta              Tus                In               The              Empire-)
            Or         represen-tation               of             order,
           (And is quite point blank pointless)
           Not to speak of the ending where the Anakin is         almost point-blank informed                  That the captives are being held on                    Ty-                    Ger                        ia/                        By the Ty-                       ger-ians
                Po-int being;                      This is pretty subst                  antless                          Sn                            -ack,                             That lacks any kind of consis          tence
       - And isn’t.          worth the                watch,
           (With             nothing              set up)
          (Might’ve wanted to go with an                 R2-D2/ (CpO?) episode)                   Work on that tone                first
               Before trying anything serious,                   With that robots scream of absolute terror                  upon its death..
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