#am currently filled with spite and general I'll-Show-YOU-ness regarding a skill I never learned
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#random personal stuff#personal whining feel free to ignore#am currently filled with spite and general I'll-Show-YOU-ness regarding a skill I never learned#it was implied recently that I do not know how to do this thing because of lack of interest#like I just woke up one morning and decided to be a burden on society#I KNOW perfectly well that knowing how to do this would give me greater independence#do you think I haven't been bearing the weight of this guilt most of my life#not learning was a situation beyond my control#long story weird upbringing unhelpful people lack of opportunity resultant anxiety etc.#anyway I've had it and I'd love to go out and prove that I'm not really worthless#...unfortunately I live in a small town where there's no place for someone like me to learn#because the system assumes that you are a teenager and your parents or school will teach you#or else (I suppose) that knowledge of this thing is written on every adult's heart already#so yeah...this is also a lot of why I never learned#(excuse me while I get angry for a moment)#I hate this. I hate the system. I hate living in a small town with extremely limited resources.#I hate whatever motivated the people who should have been helping me not to give me the opportunity and resources to learn.#(rant over sorry)#anyway I will eventually figure this out#but in the meantime it is Frustrating
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