#also they could all fuck my brains out
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smash (in a marriage way)
smash (in a fuck my brains out way)
#tbh i would marry them all it just worked with the meme#ik#i’m terrible#also they could all fuck my brains out#this post is just a lie#sorry guys#evan peters#evan peters smut#ahs#kai anderson#ahs fandom#ahs edit#sarah paulson#tate langdon#evan peters x reader#evan peters imagine#evan peters fic#ahs fic#ahs 11#ahs smut#ahs cult#ahs coven#kit walker#james patrick march#kyle spencer#tate ahs#tate and violet
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I was joking a while back that the actor they have playing KDJ for the orv movie was too handsome for him and a friend who's read orv was like "KDJ is actually secretly attractive!!" And I just felt my soul leave my body right then
SIGHS...
Okay. Buckle in. I'm gonna finally actually address and explain and theorize about this whole...thing.
I'm not gonna cite any exact chapters cause it's like 11:30 and I've got an 8 hour drive in the morning but I'll at least make an approximate reference to where certain things are mentioned. Also, this post is just my personal interpretation for a good bit of it, but it's an interpretation I feel very solid about, so do with that what you will. Moving on to the meat of things:
There is one (1) instance in the web novel that I know of which describes specific features of Kim Dokja (especially ones other people notice). This takes place when members of KimCom are trying to make Kim Dokja presentable to give his speech at the Industrial Complex (after it's been plopped down on Earth). This is when they start really paying attention and focusing on Kim Dokja's appearance since they're putting makeup on him; I still don't think they can interpret his whole face, but they can accurately pick out and retain more features than usual. If I remember correctly they reference him having long eyelashes, smooth skin, and soft hair. These features can be viewed as (stereotypically) attractive.
Certain parts of the fandom have taken this scene and run with it at a very surface level, without realizing (or without acknowledging at the very least) that this scene is not about how Kim Dokja looks. This is, in part, due to not realizing or acknowledging why Kim Dokja's face is "censored" in the first place, and what that censoring actually means. I think it's also possible that some people are assuming the censorship works like a physical phenomena rather than an altered perception.
I'll address that last point first. The censorship of Kim Dokja's features is not something as simple as a physical phenomena. It's not a bar or scribble or mosaic over his face. If that were true it'd be very obvious to anyone looking at him that his face is hidden. But his face is not hidden to people. They can look at him and see a face. If they concentrate on his eyes, they can see where he's looking. They know when he's frowning or grinning. They see a face loud and clear. But what face are they seeing? Because it's not really his, whatever they're seeing.
No one quite agrees on what he really looks like. And if they try and think about what he looks like, they can't recall. Or if they do, it's vague, or different each time. We notice these little details throughout the series. Basically, Kim Dokja's face is cognitively obscured. Something - likely the Fourth Wall, though I can't recall if this is ever stated outright - is interfering with everyone's ability to perceive him properly. This culminated in him feeling off to others; and since they don't even realize this is happening, they surmise that he is "ugly."
Moving on to the other point about what the censorship means: To be blunt, the censorship of his face is an allegory for his disconnect from the "story" (aka: real life, and the real people at his side). The lifting - however slight - of this censorship represents him becoming more and more a part of the "story" (aka: less disconnected from the life he is living and the people at his side). The censorship's existence and lifting can represent other things - like dissociation or depersonalization or, if you want to get really meta, the fact that he is all of our faces at once - but that's how I'd sum up the main premise of it. (The Fourth Wall is a larger part of the dissociation allegory, but that's for another post).
So you see, them noticing his individual features isn't about the features. It's not about the features! It doesn't matter at all which features got listed. Because they could describe any features whatsoever and it would not change the entire point of the scene. Because the point isn't what he looks like. The point is that they can truly and clearly see these features. For the first time. They are seeing parts of him for the first time. Re-read that sentence multiple times, literally and metaphorically. What does it mean to see someone as they are?
This is an extremely significant turning point dressed up as a dress-up scene.
---
P.S. / Additionally, I'm of the opinion that Kim Dokja is not handsome, and he is not ugly. He is not pretty, and he is not ghastly. Not attractive, nor unattractive. Kim Dokja isn't any of these things. More importantly, Kim Dokja can't be any of these things. The entire point of Kim Dokja is that you cannot pick him out of a crowd; he is the crowd. He's a reader. He's the reader. Why does he need to be handsome? Why must he be pretty? Why is him being attractive necessary or relevant? He doesn't, he doesn't, it's not. He is someone deeply deeply loved and irreplaceable to those around him, and someone who cannot even begin to recognize or accept that unless it's through a love letter masquerading as a story he can read. He is the crowd, a reader, the reader. He's you, he's me. He's every single one of us.
#orv#orv analysis#orv meta#orv spoilers#mine#ask#there's also the meta that he is described with these (stereotypically) pretty features as they are about to try and 'sell' him to a crowd#which feels to me like a very pointed way to convey how 'beauty' is commodified. how audiences like 'attractive' characters more#note: made some edits to add in a couple of sentences my brain forgot in the moment so make sure u reblogged those if u do#tag edits for further commentary that isnt strictly relevant to the point i was making:#do i think that this face censorship was executed as well as it could have been? nah.#not that it was like. done Badly. it's followed through to a certain point. its established enough for me to make this post at least.#but i do think it is the one thing in the web novel that SS didn't capitalize on.#like. they still stuck the landing but it was not as picture perfect of an execution as the rest of the metaphorical stuff in orv#also. this (not the face censorship specifically but the 'hes just some guy' point of it all) is one of the big reasons i think that-#-visual adaptions of orv can never quite work. they can do the best that they can with that medium but a lot of nuance is lost-#-simply by virtue of it being a visual medium#i personally think the only way a visual medium could work would be one where they commit to the power move of not showing kdj's face#(until a certain point (of view) that is)#his face is always facing away or out of frame or hidden by someone or something else in the way#commit to the fucking allegory or simply perish
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midnight cravings
riddle rosehearts; 1,603 words; nsfw, pls dni if ur a minor; all characters depicted as 18+; fem!reader, tipsy!riddle, oral, fingerfucking, senpai!kink???... welp.
you find him with flushed cheeks and sticky fingers, his eyes honey-glazed as he looks up at you over the tray of liqueur-filled chocolates, his lips stained pink with laughter. he hiccups, tongue darting out to lick at his fingertips, his whole body swaying when you raise an eyebrow and blink.
“riddle?”
“o-oh — oops…”
“what on earth…”
he hiccups again, giggling as he stumbles his way towards you, nearly tripping over his very well-polished boots, leaning down towards you with a shy, sly kind of smile that makes your stomach twist like taffy inside you.
“hm… guess trey made them a little strong this year…” he muses, his eyes flickering from your lips up to your eyes and back down again.
“riddle… were those the whiskey chocolates that trey-senpai made for tomorrow’s holiday party?”
“mm… well, he did say i could try one… or two…”
you can’t help the smile stretching across your lips.
“or… seven?”
riddle purses his lips, his lashes fluttering as he lets out a soft sigh. you can smell the sweetness on his breath, the golden sting of whiskey, feel the closeness of his body to yours. you forget that he’s taller than you, but like this, he could cage you in easily, his eyes half-lidded, his smile knowing and lazy and distinctly cat-like.
“don’t make fun of me…” he says, his voice soft as he cocks his head.
“i — i’m not… i just…”
your breath catches as your eyes snag on the teasing edge of his smile, the way it lilts lopsided, the way he still tries to play at innocence even when the tension is palpable between you, thick as warmed butter.
“just… what? hm?”
you know you’re finished before your lips even meet, but when they do, you find yourself whimpering, the force of him startling. and sure, it’s different from how he usually is — sweet, attentive, perhaps a bit on the rigid side, but it isn’t like you haven’t seen him like this before, haven’t felt him like this before — on the occasions when he’s irked or tired or perhaps just a bite too excited. when he’s too happy or dizzy or drunk on life or laughter or you —
like this, he leaves you gasping.
“hm… i was just thinking…” he pulls back, casually swiping a thumb across your bottom lip, his eyes dark and hungry, tracking the wet trail his finger makes as it presses along the length of your mouth, dragging down your cheek till he can tilt your chin up towards him again.
“you never call me ‘senpai’… but you do with trey and cater… why’s that?” he asks, his voice just on the other side of nonchalance, his expression one of sharp, targeted curiosity, like he knows the answer but wants to hear you say it instead.
“i — i’m sorry, i’ll —”
“say it.”
you swallow, catch your lower lip in your teeth, eyes locking with his as his grin spreads cheshire-wide.
“s-senpai…”
his next breath is light, is one of laughter as he leans back down, “mm… good girl.”
you shiver as tingles rake up the length of your spine.
and then your thoughts skid through to pure incoherence as he melds his mouth to yours once more, pulling you to him, kissing you hard, kissing you hungry, kissing you like there’s an entire world somewhere beneath your tongue that he’d love nothing more than to be the cartographer for — you squeak as he hoists you up, always so much stronger than even you give him credit for, plopping you down on the biting cold of the metal kitchen table.
“y’know… i’d come down for a midnight snack originally…” he says, taking half a step back to look you over, taking in the muss of your hair, the ruffle of your clothes, your uniform collar loose and askew, your skin a tantalizing glimmer in the soft, dappled moonlight. and then, he drops to his knees and you nearly hiss in anticipation.
he trails his fingers along the bare skin of your thighs, pillowing his cheek on one of them.
“but i think i might just want to eat you instead.”
“r-riddle — !”
your eyes squeeze shut as he presses open your legs, your toes curling at the openness of it all, at the shock of embarrassment at being spread out like this, on the school’s kitchen table, no less — but riddle hums as he lets his hot breath wash over you, a thick groan rolling out of him as he tugs aside your panties and slicks a thumb through the wetness already collected along your folds.
“fuck,” he murmurs, and it punches through you, the way he says it, usually never one for such obscenities, the word slipping from him, more a prayer than a curse.
fuck, you agree, letting your head tip back as he leans in to lick a slow strip along your cunt, your fingers fisting in his hair, and on any other day, he might’ve balked at the sting, but now, tonight, he only revels in the way you pull him closer, your thighs shaking on either side of his head, the taste of you exquisite on his tongue.
“ri-riddle… please…” your voice trails off into a high-pitched whine as he wraps his mouth around your clit and sucks, leaving you a shaking pile atop the glistening metal table, still loaded to the one side with trey’s chocolate liqueurs. riddle grins, lifting his eyes to watch as you peer down at him, your cheeks dark with color, truly the sweetest, most intoxicating sight. the soft, warm, buzz of alcohol had loosened his limbs and inhibitions enough and he thinks that he likes you like this — pleading for him, shaking apart for him.
“ah… so pretty…” he muses, even as he leans up to press two fingers into you, fucking you slow, savoring the way you gasp and clench down around him, tight, and then tighter, your knees pressing together as if you could somehow keep him there. he grins.
“m-more… ah — ngh —”
your fingers scrabble for purchase you reach blindly down towards him, trying to do something, anything to get him to go faster, harder, perhaps to curl his fingers the way he knows you like. but he only catches your hands, holding your wrists still as he leans over you, his torso keeping your knees spread just so, his other hand still sunk knuckle-deep inside you.
“hehh… i don’t think you’re really in the position to make demands right now…” he runs a tight circle of your clit with his thumb and watches as your entire body arches off the table in pleasure.
“rid-dle — riddle — s-senpai — !”
his body shudders as he lets out a breathy laugh, his head dropping as he finally picks up the pace, fucking his fingers into you hard enough for you to keen before dropping back down to press his tongue back to your folds, sucking hard just to hear you scream.
“mm… look so good like this… so desperate for me, hm? what a pretty… little… pastry…” he punctuates his words with harsh thrusts of his fingers, curling them inside you till he finds the place he’s looking for, the soft, tender spot inside you that has you twitching around him, begging and nearly incoherent with pleasure.
“’m s-so c-close — close —”
he moans loud and lewd against you as he pulls his fingers from inside your cunt, replacing it with his tongue, gripping your thighs as he eats you out hard enough for you to come undone right over his mouth, your body writhing over the metal table, nearly knocking the trays of sweets from their place beside you.
“aah-ahh… we’ve made… a mess…” he says, sounding rather pleased with himself as he pulls back, licking his lips, dragging a thumb across his chin before popping into his mouth, his eyes still locked with yours. you shudder as the aftershocks of your orgasm rake through you, not entirely able to shake the way he’s still watching you, as if this has done nothing to sate his particular brand of hunger.
he gives your thigh a small pat as you take a breath and force your body to sit up, cheeks flushing as you tug your panties back up your legs, smoothing your palms over the material of your skirt as you hop off the table.
“did… did you sober up a bit?” you ask, your voice uncharacteristically quiet as riddle leads you from the school kitchens, hand in hand, his gait still much more relaxed than it would’ve been in the daytime.
he peers at you from over his shoulder.
“hm… not in the slightest,” he says, and you stare up at him as he smirks.
the hallways are quiet as the pair of you make your way towards the hallway of mirrors, your footsteps echoing against the vast, stone walls.
“so… what are you going to tell trey-senpai tomorrow? when he asks you about the chocolates?”
riddle pauses for a second before shrugging.
“the truth, i suppose.”
“huh?”
he turns to you with that tell-tale grin as the pair of you reach the heartslabyul mirror, and he tugs you behind him towards his room.
“that i had a midnight craving, and… that it just had to be sated, now didn’t it?”
#riddle rosehearts#twst#twisted wonderland#twst smut#twisted wonderland smut#riddle rosehearts smut#riddle rosehearts x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#twst scenarios#riddle rosehearts scenarios#riddle rosehearts imagines#ya nasties#look;;;;; listen;;;;;;;;;;; i saw ONE frame of riddle tugging off his tie in the comic anthology and....#this is somehow what my brain decided to GENERATE based off of that image like;;;; he doesn't even#pull his tie in this fic but somehow. we ended up here. also.#drunk!riddle is gonna haunt me. god fucking damnit.#it's truly.... degenerate hrs all up in this haus for twst.#ur kidding urself if u dont think riddle could eat out like a mutherfuckin champ.#also ! this is my first time putting a banner on a fic! and will prob be the last time HAHAHAHHA#usually there isn't a specific frame that inspires a thing but today there was so i might as well right
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i have never felt this uniquely insane about a character <3 i cant get a read on him
#what is his DEAL#im usually really good at pegging a character's intentions / general vibe#BUT IM GETTING SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS THAT I JUST DONT KNOW#his off the charts rizz is fucking up my geiger counter#is he evil? is he a victim? a pawn/minion? does he have good intentions? neutral ones? bad ones?#I CANT TELL#welcome home#wally darling#i mean im team 'wally is a victim just trying to help / protect his friends (maybe the 'viewer')'#and home is maybe the main villian but also not bc the villain is the abstract force of cosmic horror manifesting as the chasm under home#and it has simply infected home or possessed it#and welcome home's whole deal is cosmic horror from a puppet's perspective#and they all need to stick together like glue to get through the Ordeals and Situations#and wally's just trying to keep his friends safe and the neighborhood together and fix home#BUT if it turns out wally is straight up evil then. yknow. i support his wrongs <3#he could do literally anything and id be twirling my hair cheering and clapping#i love his big hair and gay little outfit#ever since i watched night minds video he hasnt left my brain. i think he's eating it#like i want him dead. i want him to be happy. i want to beat his little body against a wall until his stuffing comes out. i want to hug him#he is everything to me. he activates my maiming instincts but also my cherish instincts#i want him to get all the hugs from his friends#god i cant wait for this whole enchilada to kick off its gonna be a DOOZY#i trust clown's brilliant mind no matter which way they take this#absolutely fascinating stuff. i already know im in this for the long haul
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having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!
#persona 3 spoilers#minato arisato#hc and au nonsense#lizzy speaks#happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳#i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at-#him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know?#and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^#something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls#you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations#and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4#and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are...#that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!)#the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES#objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written#but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently#specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship#it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc#it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but#eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses!#regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself-#into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here.#the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go#“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons#anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍#have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙
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“Do you think love can bloom even on the battlefield?”(Monaco 2010-2013)
#the caption is (mostly)a joke and i *do* think im being funny with it#but that quote just suddenly popped into my brain and I could not stop laughing#but honestly tho that is my motto for any f1 ship but particularly abt drivers on the podium being touchy#like 'yeah you just beat me but i can respect that and so im gonna hug you about it'#(yeah yeah ik them hugging probably isnt that deep but their affection to their competitors means to much to me emotionally <3)#i like that the red bull boys are always at the scene of the crime its like they started it in 2010 and then committed to it#im particularly insane about the sebson and martian ones but as always webbonso going above and beyond#nando really said fuck these weak mfs bro-hugging im gonna clutch mark like hes my lifeline even tho he just beat me#btw i did research into all of the past 24 monaco podiums for this but these had the most flavor and theyre all directly chronological#sorry ik the spain gp is practically upon us by now but im still in monaco hell#i gotta get all the monaco posts out of my system#monaco: all bangers all the time#also this was meant to just be a photo post but then i looked at the actual footage and it turned into a gifpost oops#sebastian vettel#mark webber#jenson button#nico rosberg#fernando alonso#martian#sebmark#sebson#webbonso#sico#f1#formula 1#monaco grand prix#monaco gp#we do a little bit of f1
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VIOLATOR!! DESECRATOR!! TURN AROUND AND MEET THE HATER!!
VEEERRRY HAPPY WITH WILLIAMS LIL SCARY ARC. HORROR MOVIE BOY. LIL ZOMBIE GUY. UNDEAD AND PIIIISSED OFF LIKE CMAAAHHHNNN I HOPE HE KEEPS THAT CHAINSAW FOREVER. IF YOURE UNDEAD CAN YOU STILL GET A NICOTINE ADDICTION? I SURE HOPE SO!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd spoilers#william wisp#FIRST: IF YOU DONT PUT ROB ZOMBIE IN YOUR WILLIAM WISP PLAY LIST I KILL YOU. SECOND: BEHOLD MY EASTER EGGS. FIRST EASTER EGG IS THE CHAINSA#I WROTE CHAINSAW ON IT A BUNCH BC I DIDNT WANNA DRAW DETAILS. ALSO ITS FUNNY. SECOND EASTEREGG IS THE LOBOTOMY CORP HOODIE.#THIRD : HEY KIDS YOU WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY? QUOTE FROM HELLSING ABRIDGED. REMEMBER HELLSING ABRIDGED? YEAAAH YOU DO#OKay those are the easter eggs. also i hope william actually gets into smoking i think thats SO funny. also its cool as hell#like with the blue wisp fire n everything? COOOl as hell i hope he gets his leather jacket back too. REMEMBER KIDS!#smoking is COOL AS FUCK but also itll kill you so dont. if ur undead its fine though.#IN OTHER NEWS! williams 'need a hand?' bit was SO fuckin funny. like it didnt need to be that funny. I WISH I COULD ANIMATE THIS WHOLE SHOW#ITS SUCH A CLEAR CARTOON IN MY FOUL BRRRAAAAIIINNN!!!!!! SPEAKin o my foul brain i LOVE SWIRLS!! CAN U TELL???#I LOVE DRAWIN WILLIAM WITH THE SQUARE/ROUND SPIRALS DEPENDING ON HIS MOOD. ESPECially in the black/white/grey arc#i draw him with only sharp spirals in that arc. the spirals soften once he chills out tho. YOULL SEE IN THE NEXT DRAWING I POST#guyyysss i love william so mmuuuuch i project all my middleschool gothness onto him and it makes me so happy#im sO GLAD I FIUCKIN FIGURED OUT HIS HAIR BTW. IT LOOKS SO GOOD NOW. LOOK AT ME IMPROOOVOEEE AAAAAIUURURUGHHRAAAUUGHHHHHHH
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ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page
#delete later#deleting soon bc eyes on me#for those of you who kept asking about Something last year LOLLL#sorry this is too entry level vent comic ykwim i jst needed to get it out#im over it in the sense that like ok yeah whatever#but not in the sense that i came out worse than before. i was already Small. ive been further Smallened#i was a rebound and lied to and discarded...which thank god i was Set Free but wow!#all my personal fears reinforced. it is embarrassing for me to want and need...i get it neow. i was a stepping stone i am an npc#idk that i could do it again! im not sure its worth trying i am too much of a...project.#as i was told from day 1 but still ran directly into it#and i was too much of a coward to leave myself. if it happened again i wouldnt be able to leave then either.#im happy that i dont think it could get much worse than all that for my first experience but it was also exhausting#and weirdly at the same time i dont think i cld ever expect better#its almost been a year since its been Done and the words and treatment linger <3#this is also why i had to enlist talon as imaginary bf number 2 LOL need extra reinforcement and love#cringe as fuck but it rly will never be as good as whats in my brain...i know that neow. i will spare everyone the trouble#and remove myself from the dating pool (<- implying he was ever even in it)#i dont even hold any ill will toward em bc they were right...its just hurts ykwim
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Frankly I think Alistair being mildly shitty to that mage in Ostagar seems pretty in-character for the guy he is before the massive, life-altering trauma that is the Ostagar massacre wherein he sees all of his Grey Warden comrades, his beloved mentor/father figure, and his beloathed half-brother/convenient-target-of-projection absolutely torn to shreds by literal Thedas boogeymen. IIRC Morrigan and Flemeth both comment on his wack behavior after Ostagar and then by the time we get to Lothering Alistair just fully surrenders any and all responsibility (and, frankly, agency) to the player's Warden for the foreseeable future. It can then take anywhere from a couple IRL hours to the entire second act of the game for him to retake almost any amount of it back. And depending on the player's choices in dialogue, and especially whether or not they choose to romance him, we may only see flashes of that guy we met at Ostagar before he potentially morphs into almost someone else entirely (hardened!King!Alistair). All that to say, I don't actually think it's a useful criticism of "characterization" to bring up Alistair's glibness as compared to his behavior in the majority of the game because from where I'm standing (looking directly at his snottiness about Cailan, his complaints about being assigned to the Tower of Ishal, his Templar-esque focusing on Morrigan and Flemeth being apostates, his generally pretty brusque manner with the Warden recruits) it seems fairly in-line with the rest of his behavior at Ostagar.
#like seriously he's a bit of a dick (more than what becomes usual) while at ostagar#before his world is shattered and his brain (and personality) is completely rearranged by seeing everyone important to him slaughtered#he clings so hard to the warden as a lifeline that he kind of goes full-on fawning mode for a little bit there#just giving up the reins completely and following orders as (imo) a method of coping with massive loss and trauma#throughout the course of the game he recovers somewhat and goes back to being kind of a dick#and/or growing up pretty extensively and becoming a much better and more tolerant person as a whole#but the idea of him being a dick to a mage because he's being moved around like a chess piece rather than a person#by someone who should NOT have the authority to do that and that fuckin ANNOYS him and then this dude's getting all up in his face about it#as if this was HIS decision and then being accused of harassing this random ass dude he could not give less of a fuck about for funsies#and thus him going full obnoxious shithead teenager about it is somehow OUT of character?? for ALISTAIR??? wack#like nah bro i know we all love ali but our vision is being obscured by that love and also how sweet he is in a romance#just being besties with him unlocks an incredible amount of unfiltered BITCHINESS that is fully in-line with ostagar!alistair's shenanigans#dragon age: origins#alistair theirin#by apples#da meta#anyway there's been disk horse on my dash for the last couple days and this is my take on it
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a while back my mom discovered that the owner of the company was stealing basically all of the money that he was supposed to submit for things like 'taxes' and 'health insurance' and 'court-mandated payments' for the employees, listing them on the pay stubs but then pocketing the money to help keep the company afloat
she then made sure that everybody in the company knew, submitted her resignation effective immediately, and spent about the next week calling government offices to report every crime, regulatory violation, and breach of employment contract that she could think of. and now it looks like the series of investigations that she kicked off might be the thing that finally destroys this man's company.
sometimes I'm proud of her
#and if you want a succinct summary of the American labor situation#after she told her coworkers about all of this#including things like 'turns out we all lost our health insurance a month ago because he stopped paying for it'#nobody else quit. everybody else decided that it was worth putting up with very direct wage theft and tax fraud to avoid unemployment#even the people in very in-demand positions who could trivially find work elsewhere#also i used to work for the guy too because he owned a good chunk of the businesses around my home area when i was a teenager#i met him once and it was when he walked into the store unannounced and then grabbed some stuff and tried walking right out#and got all 'do you even KNOW who I am' pissy when I informed him that this isn't how stores work and you pay for things here#being rich rots your fucking brain i swear to god
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"Ah, you want me to talk about the Twins huh?"
"Not much to say about em, really. Used to run the subway system in Iacon way back before all the slag hit the fan. Damn good at it too.
Nicest lads you'd ever met and practically inseparable! Where one went the other was close by, almost as if they were joined at the hip. Rough upbringin's will do that to ya or so I've heard
Couldn't believe it when i saw the white one on the side of the 'Cons, even less so when i realized he was by himself. We captured him one day as a POW one time. Took a lot of us to pull it off but we managed eventually. That's when I heard the story of what happened to his...I guess brother is what you humans would call them if you absolutely needed a word to describe him. Figured the 'Cons promised him a way to get him back somehow if he joined up with them and he took the offer in a desperate attempt to find him.
Though I doubt they ever did give him anything to really go by. Recruiters will say just about anything in order to get bots to join their cause. Especially when it comes to getting their servos on big, strong fellas like the Twins.
He eventually escaped us somehow; found a way to cut through his bonds and was lost to the night before any of us could even blink. Heh, and I thought his brother was the more crafty of the two.
What d'ya mean 'creepy' smile? Rude lil' thing aren't ya?
He's always been smiling like that. Well...not exactly like that but... you know that mech never had a frown on his face that I'd ever seen. Though I will admit there's something...different about that smile now. Not at all like what I seen back in Iacon. Something sinister...
Not the only one to notice it either. Ol' Rung reckons that being separated from his brother for so long did things to him. Spark twins can't be without one another for very long without it messing with their coding n whatnot, you know?
Though, Ratch knows more about the kid's situation than anybody here on this ship. Says that he apparently had done some things in order to get his brother back. Supernatural things. Things smart mechs should know to leave well enough alone.
Wherever that mech went to get his brother, he didn't come back alone....
Such a shame, he was always a sweet kid. Had a bit of a mobility issue but only when he was excited about something I think? Which was a good thing for all I care. You need to have joy in the things you love 'n he had that in spades.
Did not really understand the concept of personal space though 'n it sometimes got 'im in loads of trouble *laughs*
The black one? Whats there to say about 'im, honestly?
Incredibly polite mech, always there to lend a helping servo or two when needed, a little older than his brother i think? He would always mess with him about that little fact.
Very gentle in situations where his brother would be very harsh, but not like in a mean spirited way, more like an excitable way if that makes any sense? You would never think that what with the constant sour look etched on his face at all times *laughs*
Never liked to talk much. Though not for a lack of ability but more of a 'can't control his volume' situation. He can hit Siren levels of loud when excited enough about something or other and feels bad about it when he does. I don't mind it though, means he's found something to be happy about and that's a good thing in my book if that's worth anything.
Really hurt to hear that he went missing millennia ago. His brother looked absolutely destroyed when I saw him in that camp. I'm glad to see he made it back.
Primus the years haven't been good to him, though. Wherever he went it did numbers on his frame.
He creaks when he walks now, and his gaze has that look of a mech who has seen far more than he should have. He still has that gentle nature about him, though. Which is good, because I think he is going to need it if he ever hopes to succeed at getting those demons running through his brothers brain module out.
I got faith in them though, they're as strong as they are inseparable. They'll get through this like they did every other thing they faced,
together.
[Pulled from the personal Datatracks of Ironhide, Chief of Autobot Security]
#hey ho i got bored again and came up with this while drawing lol#i am not a writer but that will not stop me from writing about my blorbos dammit!#long read#readmore#maccadams#submas#submas angst#i guess it can be called that?#i will draw something better for this but i had to get it out before my brain hated it#also i fucking love ironhide and for some odd reason when i was drawing all i could think about was him talking about the Twins#to some random curious human who suddenly saw two 35 foot train mechs appear on the base#i may do more with this idk#kicks' scribblings
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Feel like pure shit, just want a smutty multi-chapter Howard Hamlin fanfic that recounts the many secret sexual affairs that he has had with different people throughout the course of his life, most of which he sought out to recompense for the lack of intimacy in his marriage because both him and Cheryl were iron-closeted and only got married out of familial pressures (things took a turn for the worse after the fight that ended with Howard moving into the guest house). Ultimately, none of them could fulfill his wants and needs because they're all cold and distant in their own ways: there were the handsome strangers he met at some gay bar like Nacho who were emotionally unavailable and only wanted to dick and dash like they're in denial themselves; Jimmy whom he was smitten with and trusted to be able to keep a secret, but it didn't take him long to realize that Jimmy being selfish and cruel and rougher than Howard had liked and not paying any mind to Howard's own pleasure in bed was his way of getting back at him for being a jackass of a boss; Chuck whom he'd got especially close with ever since he was still studying pre-law, so close that he would make up any excuse to be alone with him and suck him off in his office from time to time to seduce his mentor because the daddy issues that had been developing throughout his father-absent youth came to fruition the moment a wiser and older man gave him a sliver of attention, Chuck allowed him to live out his fantasy but never reciprocated in that sense but they remained really good friends, hence Howard's desperation for his approval and affection and the idea of "I still have a chance" kept brewing in his mind even when he could see Rebecca out of the corner of his eye (the incident at the end of ss3 scarred him for life and talking about the intimate details of their relationship before it in therapy did not help). The latter half of 607 didn't happen because he decided that he was in fact the bigger person and the right thing to do was to drink himself into reflecting back on his life choices and wallowing in his own self-pity. Though he didn't storm Mcwexler's condo, the whole ordeal was still his Joker moment, so he put his foot down, got a divorce and resigned from his CEO position because fuck you, he deserves to do that. And maybe after a year or so, he met a certain Salamanca who got out of a certain shoot-out unscathed (haven't determined if Howard happened to stumbled into El Michoacáno or he went back to the gay bar), their chemistry was through the roof, they bonded over the loss of families/ lovers and "being a nepo baby is oh so hard", their romance blossomed because Lalo was textbook definition of charming and exactly Howard's type. One date led to another, and Howard ended up getting the best pipe he'd ever had while trying to hold back the tears stemmed from indescribable emotions. Would Howard find out who Lalo actually was? Would it matter? Would they last? Those are problems for future them.
Like literally that's all I want tbh.
#howard hamlin#He's my girl. My fucking princess.#Idc like he's still rightfully owed a soft dom who's gonna take good care of him and appreciate him#(as much as I feen for power bottom Howard)#The slutification of this middle-aged man HAS to be riddled with angst or else I'll die#1 of the worst things that could ever happen to me is getting ideas that I think are good but cannot for the life of me do anything about it#That and becoming a **** ****** but we're not trauma dumping today#Being a bilingual with an English-leaning brain is not the W that people made it out to be#Honestly Nacho came into the picture when I was deadass half unconscious. I was like 'Ariana what are you doing here???'#But it's hot. And I kinda wanted Nachoward to win a bit#I also wanted to squeeze Gus in there too but in my head it'd be an 'admirer from afar' type of deal. Like Howard would have a crush on him-#-but decided against making a move cuz he would think Gus is out of his league or sth#This is essentially a Howard x everyone who I think could be compatible with him fanfic#For clarification. Cheryl and Howard don't hate each other. if anything they're each other's emotional support system#But I feel like there's only so much pretense you can put up you know#And yes. Lalo and Nacho were in love there.#Ok I've got it all out there now. Time for me to go marinate in shame#nacho varga#jimmy mcgill#chuck mcgill#lalo salamanca#better call saul
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it's actually so fascinating to me that Brennan has created a character that maintains a pretty relaxed and mild-mannered demeanor and has said multiple times that the absolute Core of her is "FEAR" and how often we see this Fear manifest specifically in Avoidance; it really nails a relationship to that mentality where your brain fully Stops recognizing the emotion properly out of like, sheer self-defense from the stress of having to carry it all the time
I think this is also perfectly showcased in the way we tend to see Tula swing so suddenly from 'level and steady' to 'snarling Panic' and then back again - Just because your brain has detached itself from the Conscious Recognition of the emotion doesn't mean it can Actually stop itself from experiencing it. So the Fear is always there and always acting as a stressor, but because of that inability to Identify it there's no way to recognize or address it before that final straw hits and your bodymind jumps Straight into Full Meltdown Mode; but then once again, once you drop even a Little bit below that Peak Terror your brain ceases to process the emotion; it's like the most exhausting form of Poor Object Permanence in the world
And even if Tula is aware of this happening to her, that doesn't really make it any easier to deal with / address. Even if you're able to spot the symptoms Around the emotion -- chest pain, irritation, nausea, whatever -- because the Emotion Itself is basically impossible to find, you can't really Successfully Pin Down what the problem is OR a way to cope with it. If you can't figure out That You Are Anxious, then figuring out What Is Making You Anxious is impossible, which makes Find A Way To Make Peace With That incomprehensible. That's where the Avoidance comes in: you can no longer identify what might be a Dangerous Situation, which means that Anything New has a big potential to be Really Bad in a variety of ways (ranging "I don't Feel Good" to "Fully Lashing Out bc you've entered Fight/Flight and can't get out of it" to "Actual Outside Danger This Time") and that means the Only Way you know how to be Safe is to just Avoid Doing Anything New and Only stick to Familiar Situations, because anything unfamiliar is a monster of a gamble you don't know how to prepare for or cope with
#N posts stuff#one could argue ‘we see tula worry a lot tho’ but that’s bc Worry is an Action that can occur Separately from Recognizing Anxiety#now that I know tumblr will put a hard cap on your tags w/o telling you i'm resigning myself to posting rambling meta in post body#but i'm not happy about it; anyway i love how often life is full of Coincidences bc this is something I've Finally identified in myself#like. This Month. like this is brand new articulation for some of the problems i have in life; again knowing this doesn't help lmao#bc even when you know to look Around the shape of the emotion - like 'oh my face is Snarling rn. i'm probably experiencing Something'#like i said bc you don't know What that something is OR What might have caused it then the only solution you Ever get to come up with#is just 'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else' which INVARIABLY means that you will wind up in that same situation again#and Still have no idea how to handle it bc you never could figure out what caused it so you don't know how to handle it any better than#'fully retreat and go calm down somewhere else'; so 'be somewhere else' is the ONLY way you can ever think to Help it#which usually invariably turns into 'Just Avoid Fucking Everything just in case'; which doesn't work! bc life doesn't let you do that#so then it's just a cycle of falling into the same pitfalls and feeling miserable all the time; gotta love it :)#if you're like me this also gives you Bad Bad Bad Memory bc your brain will Promptly hide evidence of Scary Situation instinctively#like 3 weeks ago this dude ran a red light and almost t-boned me Full Speed & managed to stop like. maybe 3 feet away.#and i like. Startled Laughed and said 'that was scary' and then within 30 seconds i had Fully Forgotten it happened & only remembered#like 2 days ago. Ha! believe it or not this Does Not Help with 'How can I Address the Problem instead of Avoiding It Entirely?'#dimension 20#d20: stupendous stoats#tula#d20lb
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any 'wait for it' girlies out there? nice nice just wanted to drop by and let you know that you are mentally unwell!! me too :) we can unpack why you latched onto those lyrics as a kid together <3
#elli i am staring at you 👁👄👁 STARING DIRECLTY AT U#i relistened the other day after our convo and HOLY FUCK NO WONDER I ATTACHED TO THAT SONG AS A CHILD BJADLSFDJKSL#the lyrics BRO ARE WE OKAY#I DONT THINK SO#anyways heres a very niche off brand callout post . if this speaks to u hmu#we can do some group therapy#aka play that song on repeat and sing all the lyrics still embedded in our brains from 5th grade#thats a lie we all know u didnt stop in 5th grade#hamilton#i guess#im always scared to tag outside the byler tag/my mutuals because 🥺people on the internet are scary and need to calm down most of the time#wait for it#almost said wait for me originally because thats ALSO another banger and i need to add hadestown to my intro post bc BJAKLDSJKLJVS#formative middle school experience frfr#that musical slays omg#and i actually went and SAW that one#the flashing lights directly aimed at audiences were absolute HELL for me but its okay bc i could just close my eyes and recite the lyrics#this is way off topic my b#hadestown girlies stand up and hmu#we can just jam out to way down hadestown and chant and wait for me reprise and also cry to flowers together#ok thats enough tags
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part of the problem with hating having to go shopping is that my brain is also always "there's food at home" and "there's still stuff in the cupboards/freezer I can make, I'm not out of food" and meanwhile the only things in my fridge are the condiments.
i really gotta go grocery shopping but like... i can still scrounge up food in my cupboards
#i mean part of the problem is also that groceries cost money and i hate spending money on things i don't need#because what if i need the money for something else and then don't have it#and obviously i don't need to go buy food if i can still make some kind of food from what i have in the cupboards#anyways this is absolutely from growing up with food insecurity because it fucked up my baseline for “there's no food in the house”#conversely if i say i have no food/there's nothing to eat... that's yeah#i DID make the rule that i have to go grocery shopping when i run out of milk (bc i use it up at a weeklyISH rate and also even if i don't#it does go bad in a reasonable grocery shopping intervals#but like i still have just a bit left in the jug (not enough for like anything and i'll probably just drink it straight from the jug)#which my brain is all there's still milk i do not have to go grocery shopping yet#(ALSO for the record i have plenty of money for the food#like i could buy whatever i wanted if i actually went shopping)
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"that sounds tediously boring"
gnome beat the game
here they are on the boat
#SPOILERS BELOW !!!!!!#they are so precious to me i dont know what i would do without them#ive been insanely emotional about them since last night#i wish you could see how the other characters are doing before the credits#thats my one gripe i wanna know what shadowhearts up to#SHOW ME THE CELEBRATION YALL KEEP TALKING ABOUT !!!!#i want to see them happy and hanging out and smiling :(((#also im sure theres some way to avoid this but karlach does live in their basement and they do feed her brains#all in all its a pretty good set up#shes not gonna explode any time soon and theyre all roommates#could be worse#i do mean she volunteered to turn illithid btw and from where i was standing that looked like the best option#she looks a little weird now but thats still my Best Friend karlach#im sure lae'zel will visit on holidays....#shes like the cool aunt you only see for family reunions i think#ALSO HEY LARIAN ? I ROMANCED THE FUCK OUT OF HALSIN !!!! I SHOULD GET AN EPILOGUE SCENE WITH HIM TOO !!!!!!!#i shouldve brought him with me but gale...... the carefully crafted narrative that lives only in my head........#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 astarion#astarion#astarion fanart#astarion x tav#astarion ancunin#bg3 tav#my art
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