#also they are HORRIBLE PEOPLE! and very much unlikeable so i definitely could’ve used a different word
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5?💕💕💕💕
Lee!!!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭😭 thank you for sending me a prompt I LOVE YOU!!!!!! this one took a turn :) let's say i'm inspired by you endlessly haha
Also on AO3.
5. monsters are always hungry, darling.
Tragedies only happen to other people.
You don’t get deathly sick.
The people you love don’t die.
Horrible accidents are something you hear of but don’t witness.
Until the day it all comes crashing down on you and the world fades to black. Teeth sharp in your neck, blood flowing out, realizing nightmares are real. The fear clings to you, poisons your insides til you’re sick with it but it doesn’t last long. At least there’s that, it’s quick even as you choke on the pain.
It’s quick.
Death has come to deliver Steve peace.
-
Steve doesn’t die. He becomes a nightmare instead. A monster. His peace ripped away from him by a shadow in the fucking night, stealing everything he was, that he could’ve been, right under his nose.
He’s always starving, so fucking thirsty all the time, so much it pains him. Hurts. Stomach spasming and cramping, empty, empty, empty. No matter how much he fills it, nothing ever soothes him.
It’s terrifying how quickly he loses himself to bloodlust, how easy it becomes to seduce someone to their deaths. They all go so willingly, smiles on their faces, unaware of what’s coming to them, because tragedies only happen to other people. Not to you. Never you.
Until a monster has you in their claws, drinking you to your marrow.
At least Steve makes it painless for them.
Leads them into a painless sleep.
It’s still not enough to kill his guilt.
-
There’s blood in the air, unlike any Steve has ever scented before; its sweetness calls to him like a siren's song, and he cannot help but follow. It’s not even a conscious decision, he’s there, in front of him, before he even realizes.
The most beautiful man he’s ever seen, dripping blood into the filthy concrete floor, slumped against the wall. His hand on his cut forehead trying to ineffectively staunch the blood from flowing out.
Which, “you know it’d work better if you actually had like gauze or even a tissue to help stop the bleeding right? You won’t get very far with just your hand.”
Why is he even trying to help him? Steve should already be halfway through drinking him dry, not making conversation. Definitely shouldn't be trying to stop that beautiful red from trickling down, down, down.
He feels dizzy with it.
A smell so strong , he almost feels like he can taste it on his tongue already.
The man startles, bright brown eyes staring up at Steve, appraising, interested.
“No need, it’s a small cut. Just needs some licking to get it to stop. You know?”
Steve doesn’t swallow his tongue by force of miracle alone, if he didn’t know better he’d think he was being toyed with. It feels like a trap somehow, but still, he walks forward. Bending down, Steve grabs his hand and pulls it away, just to get a closer look. Really.
Just.
A look.
It only takes a blink for Steve to realize he has the man’s fingers inside his mouth, sucking all that coppery goodness into his starving stomach, careful not to let his fangs break skin or to break one against the man’s rings. Licking all over his hand until it’s full of Eddie’s spit instead of with blood.
For once, he feels grounded. Not controlled by bloodlust anymore. Finally, completely soothed.
And confused.
“Oh baby, you were absolutely starved weren’t you? You poor thing,” Eddie coos, using his clean hand to run through Steve’s hair.
Eddie?
“How? How do I-”
“Everything there is to know about someone is in their blood, don’t you know that? I guess not, you feel like an abandoned puppy. No one taught you anything, did they? Fucking amateurs.”
It feels like the light at the end of a long, long, horribly long fucking tunnel, “Are you like me?”
“Do I smell like you?”
“No. You smell good,” it’s not what Steve means to say, but it brings a smile to Eddie’s face and really that’s all that matters at the moment.
“And I taste good too, don’t I?” Eddie smiles wide, and like a fish to a hook Steve’s pulled in. Right onto Eddie’s lap.
“Yes.”
“Such a good boy for me. So honest. Do you want more, darling?”
It’s not the blood he wants, it’s not the blood that sings to him, it’s the man, monster, creature beneath his thighs. And still, Steve licks the cut on his forehead, savoring it, delighting in it, before he kisses Eddie. Loses himself completely in the motion of lips and tongues and teeth. Sharp and biting.
They’re both bleeding by the end of it, swallowing each other and keeping the other safe inside.
“What are you?” Steve asks, breathless and writhing on Eddie’s lap. Head hiding in Eddie’s neck, kissing it, licking it, but not biting it. No. Not yet.
“I’m yours, sweet thing. If you want me.”
“Then what am I?”
“Oh, you’re mine. All mine.”
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What I'd Rather Not Think About by Jente Posthuma - review
rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4.25)
What I’d rather not think about follows the story of an unnamed female narrator whose twin brother has committed suicide. It spans over their childhood until two years after the death of the brother. It sets to deal with themes such as self discovery and complex relationships, both as siblings but also as individuals.
I’ll start with the critics:
The dynamics between the twins are odd at best, but I’ve also never had a twin, I only have a sibling and maybe they’re a kind of a different bond. Still I wished the novel had more bantering between siblings, to show an accurate depiction of family bonds. We do get the sense they love each other, but the brother is unlikable, which usually doesn’t bother me, and it didn’t bother me here, but I wish I had something more.
However, The novel deals with codependency and detachment in a very balanced way which I enjoyed.
The book includes facts about a lot of horrible historic people that harmed innocents. I found those references irrelevant and didn’t add much to the overall plot, nor for the development of characters. They served one purpose: to show that our narrator lived in the early 2000 and could google things, still I think it could’ve been shown without tragic holocaust facts.
Your gift isn’t a gift, it’s a defect, said my brother. You can’t keep your distance.
Eventually people grow out of their childhood and need to learn how to land on both of their feet alone, but what happens when you’ve never spent a second alone? Not even in the uterus? That’s why this book exists.
Our main character is very dependent on her older brother, and it becomes toxic and self-destructive very fast. This behavior causes the twins to have fights and disagreements and adding to the depression both of them have, they grow apart.
The novel explores self identity, forgiveness and personal boundaries within sibling relationships, however it never forgets to address the love that exists in that special bond.
Both of the siblings travel solo, have love relationships and different goals in life, we as readers follow their growth into their own selves, for better or for worse.
I can never get it right with you, said my brother. Why are you always so pushy? I’m trying to reach out to you, I said. Hello! Hello, said my brother. Here I am. He closed his eyes to concentrate on tasting the meat.
As the mental health of the brother deteriorates we see the author address a complex and sour topic: how do you help someone with depression. It’s the best part of the book and why it earned its rating for me.
Seeing someone you love succumb to depression is not easy, and you don’t always have to patience to deal with it. It most definitely not always end with a happy ending, in the end the brother still killed himself. I loved how the sister tried to reach out to him and he wouldn’t let her, because sometimes that’s what happens, people feel alone and they don’t want to be helped. This book does an excellent job at showing that without blaming the person who commits suicide. It also shows the flaws os someone trying to reach out, the sister could’ve done more, she could’ve paid more attention, and yet she didn’t but no one can say it’s her fault her brother is dead.
The author deals with this topic with such delicacy but at the same time such ease it really pulls you inside the story.
I’m trying to understand him. When someone says they love you but still ends up leaving, I can’t understand it. I don’t believe in that kind of love
This leaves us with the aftermath of mourning the death of a person who took their own life. It truly amazed me to see how the narrator went through different stages of grief in such curt pages. The anger and sadness both contrast each other in this part of the novel and yet none wins.
She’s still alive, he’s still alive, I thought every time someone walked by. She didn’t throw herself in front of a train. Everyone who’s still alive clearly thinks life is worth living. Clearly, I think life is worth living.
In the end of the novel the narrator still feels sad, as grief never truly goes away, but she also reaches peace with what happened. I really enjoyed reading both their journey into adulthood and dealing with the anguish and the happiness of life.
Many people might think this book doesn’t go deep enough into the grief, but I found it the perfect book at the right time for me. The small references of mundane things added to the story in my opinion, they felt vital to bring the characters to life and shaping them into real people.
I’ll end my review with my favourite quote:
I thought about all the love we have inside us and how only a shred of that reaches the people we care about
#booklr#literature#book quotes#book review#books & libraries#books#reading#my reviews#book reccs#book recommendations#dutch literature#translated literature#the international booker prize
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psychological study who’s ur favorite roy sibling and what’s ur ordinal position [eldest, only child, etc]
#it’s abt the oldest unappreciated kendall connection the eldest forgotten & burdened connors the scared of failure shivs…#the pls love me in a way i understand acting out romans…#succession#i either can’t find og post or i hallucinated it#let the record show i don’t think im gonna find anything groundbreaking but im v curious#i am Not a psychologist just curious#im so fucking Obnoxious with praise for this show but that writers room portrays siblings eerily well#the art of knowing ur sibling is full of shit but they know u just as well and everyone ignores it until someone explodes#shiv w/tears in her eyes angrily spitting on her older brother’s agenda figuratively AND literally is a scene from my childhood#the younger sibling alliance but snapping out of it to appear morally better yea#in retrospect I should’ve phrased this post differently bc just bc u like a character doesn’t mean u Get them or are similar#not that it matters but it may sound ambiguous#also they are HORRIBLE PEOPLE! and very much unlikeable so i definitely could’ve used a different word#don’t even rly know what im asking at this point i guess just who are u most drawn to sums it up#idk i guess i just appreciate the nuance?? connor is the oldest but not the heir and treated like a second dad without the fear#kendall is the number one chosen son and went to harvard and put in the work at waystar but his insecurity & addiction makes everyone forget#how qualified he actually is (and isn’t lmao) then roman who is quite actually the human shield of his siblings bc of how logan targets him#so severely even when he hasn’t done anything (logan taking out anger at shiv on him @ argestes) but also being the one who consistently#reminds his siblings of how horrible they are and that he knows better than anyone#finally shivvy the baby and only girl who has the most killer instinct and loose morals of all of them but never taken seriously in a sense#that she is their father’s favorite but not the number one boy#when ur the youngest but suddenly ur father and older brother want u to protect them#anyways to anyone who read this i apologize for making u experience the equivalent of an ap lit presentation that went 20 minutes too long
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Under the Floorboards Pt. V
(Technoblade X Reader): Pt. I, Pt. II, Pt. III, Pt. IIII, Pt. V, Pt. VI
Alright so maybe you spoke too soon; the four of you were going to do great things, minus Tommy. Technoblade had finally agreed to let you join Tommy and him on an adventure into L’manberg. The plan was to crash their festival, and ultimately attempt to get Tommy’s discs back from Dream and Tubbo. You expected your first adventure into the country to be fun, if anything you’d get to steal some shit, what you didn’t expect was to be thrown in the middle of a public dispute.
Clearly, you underestimated what ‘getting the discs back’ actually entailed.
You and Technoblade were back to back swords drawn, surrounded by about thirty people in the ruin of what was once deemed a community house. Technoblade never would’ve agreed to let you come if he thought the confrontation with Dream was going to be this serious, he assumed they’d watch from afar. If things got to dicey Tommy and him would rush in and he’d have you stay behind to watch from afar. If only he could’ve predicted someone blowing up a random building would cause such turmoil.
Nothing could ever come up Technoblade.
“Yah know when you first invited me out to partake in a festival for some reason I didn’t expect to be attacked by like thirty people.” You chirped a hesitant smile on your face as Technoblade made a confused sound.
“You definitely should’ve expected it,” Technoblade grumbled, barely taking his eyes off of Tommy and Tubbo’s argument. You watched Techno’s back but you couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the boys conversation as well. As much as your heart broke for the two war-torn children, you had your alliance first and foremost with your boyfriend. You also couldn’t help but feel this conversation should be happening privately but here they were airing things out seemingly for the first time in front of everybody. Speaking of your boyfriend, your attention was drawn back to him as he caught Tommy’s attention, “be very careful what your decision is here Tommy.”
You narrowed your eyes and took a step in front of Technoblade, he made his classic ‘heh’ sound as you did so. You felt his hand grip your forearm and tighten trying to hold you back in case you wanted to do something stupid.
“Tommy, come home with us.” You held out your hand to him, the one Technoblade didn’t have a hold of obviously. “Phil’s waiting for us, we’ll get your discs back together as we planned.” The smile on your face could part the cloudiest of days and it broke Tommy’s heart, she had given him something that he hadn’t had since the war with Dream began.
A home.
“(Y/N),” That’s the first time he used your name, the first time you weren’t just Ms Blade. It broke your heart and you whimpered a little bit, “thank you for everything you’ve done for me. But I can’t go back with you and Technoblade. I don’t like what I’ve become, this isn’t me. I’m sorry. I hope one day we can be friends again. Tubbo give Dream my disc.” You leaned back into Technoblade in disbelief, Tommy had just betrayed Technoblade right before your very eyes. The man who gave Tommy the clothes on his back and a place to stay when no one else would. Weapons to help him fight against Dream when everyone else abandoned him, even though they all treated Technoblade as a weapon he still went out of his way to help Tommy. Your hands clenched into fists at your side as Dream let out a roaring laugh collecting the disc from Tubbo. He called the two children stupid right to their face and no matter how angry you were with them that was harsh, it’s like everyone in this country forgets that they are children. Children fuck up, it’s how they learn and it’s in their nature why does no one here understand that. You looked up at Techno your eyebrows furrowed and you pressed your lips tight but he didn’t take his eyes off Dream, he had different priorities in mind.
Protecting you from the Dreamon if anything went south.
Dream continued to mock and criticize the people of L’manberg before turning to you and Technoblade. The mask he wore may hide his facial expressions, but it couldn’t mask the unadulterated glee in his voice. Technoblade pulled you behind him as Dream stepped closer to the both of you, you felt a growl rumble in Technoblade’s chest,
“That’s close enough.”
“Down boy.” Dream mused, holding up his hands to show faux innocence. “I have no issues with the both of you. Tomorrow, with your help, Technoblade and woman.”
“(Y/N).”
“Don’t tell him your name.” Technoblade gaped at you and you only could huff in frustration,
“Better than just being called woman! Plus Tommy already said it.”
With an eye-roll Dream continued his speech, “With the help of Technoblade and (Y/N) L’manberg is going to be a crater. We’re blowing it sky-high.” Dream turned over to face Tubbo once again, “I had to pretend to be friends with you, to get the dumb disk back! I don't care about you. I'm not your friend. Okay? I cared about getting the disk back, and I got the disk back. I got it back. And that's-that's- that's the only thing that really matters. You can't even run your nation right. RANBOO IS A TRAITOR. ONE OF YOUR MOST TRUSTED FRIENDS.”
Your eyes widened as you spotted another child looking horrified, it was the half enderman from the butcher gang. You’re adopting him next.
“NO, IT IS TRUE. READ THIS BOOK. READ THIS BOOK. There's his memory book. He was meeting with Techno and Tommy and told them EVERYTHING. The proof’s all his own memories! He writes it down! You can't even run your own nation correctly Tubbo. Listen. Tubbo, you, I mean you, ... L'Manberg is weaker than it's ever been, and it's because of you! You have- you have destroyed everything. You have ruined your friendships. You have ruined L'Manberg's allies. You have just-you are a horrible president Tubbo.” Dream continued as Tubbo looked sick to his stomach, you felt just as nauseous.
“YEAH, YOU SUCK TUBBO!”
“TECHNOBLADE!”
“What?” He flinched at your tone, “he’s right!”
“They’re children,” You tried to argue but Dream cut you off by stepping in between you and Technoblade. Your pulse skyrocketed as you were separated, and you made sure an ender pearl was at the ready. Tommy looked at the both fo you nervously, but there was a spark of hope in his eyes when you defended Tubbo. Tommy turned over to Tubbo who honestly looked just as shocked that a partner of Technoblade’s would defend him, espeically considering he had tried to kill her a few days prior. Tommy had hope that he wasn’t completely dead to you.
“Techno. Got any withers?” You watched a sickening smile spread across Techno’s lips he picked at his nails.
“I got a few.”
“Good. Then I’ll see you all tomorrow when the L’manberg loses its last cannon life,” Dream announced before disappearing into the wind. The citizens turned to face you and Technoblade, he only had to utter a single word:
“Run,” Before both of you pearled away from the wreckage of the community house.
Technoblade scooped you up in his arms as he made his way through the Nether portal back to his base. He was much faster than you were and you didn’t fight him on wanting to make a quick getaway. You both were silent on the way back to his base, bottom line was you didn’t know how you felt about what just went down. On one hand, destruction was your middle name and you weren’t going to oppose blowing a government to smithereens with your boyfriend.
Nothing could be more romantic than that.
Yet at the same time, unlike Technoblade, you felt the guilt eat away at you. These were people’s homes, and lives you’d be destroying tomorrow. Most of the citizens you had no affiliation with, which you were grateful for, but those you did you almost couldn’t justify blowing the country up. Tommy was by all accounts dead to Technoblade and by that extent you as well. Still, you didn’t want to see him physically dead, it wasn’t his fault he got corrupted by the government and a homeless teletubby.
You were starting to sound like Technoblade now too.
You made a sound of distress and Techno glanced down at your form, his face flushed as you nuzzled your nose against his neck.
“You okay princess?”
“No…” You answered with a sigh, you reached out and twirled a strand of his pink hair through your fingers. “Tommy’s gone, we’re going to blow up a country tomorrow. I feel bad for the people we’re gonna leave homeless. So, no I’m not okay bubs.” The socially awkward man winced a little as he battled with what to say to you, he tends to forget you both aren’t the same person. For as much as both of you agree, you were still different from him, you had more empathy than he could ever wish to have.
“You don’t have to come.”
He watched a frown appear on your face as you pulled away from him. You clicked your tongue in distaste, a sure sign that you were about to pick a fight with the blood god. You were one opponent he could never seem to defeat. That did not come out the way he intended.
Time to backtrack before he got his ass handed to him.
“What I mean is, you have no affiliation with L’manberg. You have no prior issues you need to settle with them so technically you can stay home tomorrow, no one would blame you. You’d be safer away from the explosions, I’d feel better with you at home.”
“That way you’d only have to worry about Phil tomorrow right?”
“Well, that’s part of it,” He stated bluntly, never one to be dishonest. “He has only one life and he’s going to want to fight, he has a lot to avenge. The government drove his eldest son mad, enough that Phil had to kill him. He’s one of my oldest friends, I wanna look out for him and protect him.” You couldn’t help but sigh softly at his response, you brushed your thumb across his cheek fondly.
“You’re wrong.”
“Eh?”
“I do have something I want to fight for, I want to fight for what I believe is right. Let’s face it Techno the way everyone’s treating those children is sick. Dream manipulated Tommy and used Tubbo to get what he wanted from him. I know you did what you thought was right for Tommy but he’s a product of a war-torn country, they all are. Now, that doesn’t excuse his betrayal but… did he even know what the right thing to do was in this situation, does he even truly know what peace is? I want to fight to protect those kids. They deserve to know peace, true peace away from bloodshed and war. If I can I want to give them that.” You watched Technoblade’s jaw tighten, “I’m going with you tomorrow but I’m not going to kill the children.”
“I don’t think I can ever forgive Tommy.” He sighed adjusting his grip on you a sure sign he was nervous, “but I love you.” Techno kissed you once again, it was long and tender you watched as the apples of his cheeks turn red after you both pulled away. He took a breath, “You’re unstoppable and you’ve never stopped me before so I won’t do the same for you. Just stay safe. Please. You need to come home with me tomorrow I won’t settle for anything else.”
“I will. I promise.” You pressed a light kiss to his cheek, and he hummed gently in response. “I love you Technoblade, I’ll fight beside you. Till the end of the line.”
“Till the end of the line,” He repeated as you both approached the snow-covered house to convene with Philza Minecraft himself.
~~~
Hi guys! Officially feeling a bit better, enough to get a small part out before I work on the next chapter. I hope you like it, thanks so much for reading and your amazing feedback. Also, thanks so much for your kind words and well wishes! Also, also, If anyone ever makes fanart of this story (I doubt it would happen) please tag me and let me know. I love to make art myself and always wanna support other artists! Thanks Again!
#technoblade x reader#technoblade x you#technoblade#mcyt x reader#mcyt x you#fanfiction#fanfic#minecraft fanfiction#x reader#dreamsmp x reader#minecraft x reader#x you#Blood for the Blood God#rp#dream smp
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Hey!
I was wondering if I could request a Rambo x reader set in the first movie, if that’s alright, where the reader sees him walking through town and knows that Sheriff Teasle will try to bully him out of town so she pulls over and lies about them being old friends and then they go to eat or something? And the reader actually treats Rambo like a human being and thanks him for his service to his country when she finds out he is a veteran. Oh and could the reader be female please? Thank you very much! If not then that’s totally fine 😊
And I also wanted to say that your writing is amazing!!! And the reason I ended up watching Rambo in the first place 😆
Hope you have a great night/day!
Nfhfhhhf thank you so much! I'm so glad you like my stuff! And I got you into Rambo? Hell yeah!😂 I liked this request a lot, so I hope I've done it justice!
Respect Me.
John Rambo (First Blood) x reader
Warnings: mentions of war, mentions if death
Masterlist
For once, the truck sound system seems to be playing the tape flawlessly, lacking the usual stuttering and skipping it generally likes to include in the soft flow of music. Idly, I tap my fingers along with the gentle beat, the steering wheel moving easily in my grip as I guide the beaten pick-up truck out onto the main road, falling in line with the other traffic around me. The vehicle shudders a little as I change the gears, the old truck having never liked to do anything it should do, slowly moving into a more sustainable pace as I lean back in my seat, keeping my eyes trained on the road, with a half-eye kept on the sidewalk and nearby shops. A few Christmas decorations adorn the homely stores, though it's mostly left dull and bleak, as this town always has been. Once again, I find myself wishing I could just move away from here, start a new life somewhere else.
Ahead of me, the traffic slows, allowing someone to turn into the main flow, giving me the time to glance out of the window, scanning the sidewalk a little way away. Oddly, a familiar police vehicle has pulled up just past a nearby junction, the driver leaning out of the window to talk to someone on the pavement, who I have yet to be able to see. The car is Sheriff Teasle's, the knowledge of which does not sit well with me - If he's pulled someone over, it's not for a good reason.
Checking my mirrors, I indicate off towards the sheriff, leaving the main flow as I follow the curb round, finally able to see who Teasle is talking to. Just as I feared, it looks as if he's pulled up a random person for yet another unfair interrogation. Frowning, I regard the solemn-looking man with interest, trying to ignore the part of me that finds his somewhat crooked features incredibly attractive, taking note of his obvious vagrancy: his hair is long and shaggy, clearly being left uncut for months on end, his dust-strewn parka and faded jeans showing signs of constant wear. From what I can see, Teasle is questioning him, most likely about the guy's purpose in Hope, though he doesn't seem particularly open to this encounter. Making up my mind, I cross my fingers and hope my plan now works.
Pulling up beside the two, I stop the car and climb out, plastering on a convincing grin as I go towards the dark-haired man, greeting him as I go.
"John! I didn't realise you were in town! You should've said something!" I exclaim, pleading the man with my eyes that he'll play along, though it's somewhat unlikely.
He gives me a shocked look, head snapping round at the sound of the name, hard eyes fixing on me with suspicion and hostility, the severity of the expression sending a shudder down my spine. Teasle also looks to me, frowning.
"And to think you were left to walk along here in the cold! Jeez, you really should have called or something, I could've picked you up!" I carry on, praying that he picks up the cue, "Oh, hello there, Sheriff, how are you?"
"Not bad, thanks." Teasle replies tightly, glancing between the man and I, "You know this guy?"
"Oh, yeah. John is a family friend." I lie, smiling brightly at the man in question.
"Yeah, it's been a long while, but I thought it was time to visit again." The man finally chips in, his husky voice stirring up butterflies in my stomach, "Wanted to keep my visit a surprise, though."
"Ah, well! You're here now, at least I can give you a lift back to mine." I offer him, ignoring Teasle's sceptical look.
Giving me a taut smile, which looks more like a grimace, the man steps towards me, shooting the Sheriff a glance as he goes. Doing the same, I smile pleasantly at Teasle, and say my goodbyes, climbing back into my car as my new passenger joins me, sliding cautiously into the seat beside me. Quickly, I pull back out into the traffic, heading away from Teasle as swiftly as possible.
"Thank you for doing that." The dark-haired man murmurs after a moment, his hands clenching around his knees as he forces himself to look out of the windscreen.
"No problem. Teasle's an ass at the best of times, best just to stay away from him." I muse, "Do you want something to eat? There's a good place just down the road from here."
Turning to face me, the man frowns and watches my face, as if for signs of deceit, his quiet nature giving me the impression that he's probably quite acclimatised to being treated as such.
"How do you know my name?" He eventually asks, voice quiet.
Now it's my turn to frown as I glance across at him.
"I don't."
"You called me John earlier. How did you know that's my name?"
Surprised, I double take, now realising how sketchy that must look.
"Your name is John? I had no idea! That's a lucky coincidence, clears up confusion later." I chuckle dryly, "Honestly, I picked the first name that came to mind. I had no idea that it's your actual name."
He watches me for a second longer, eventually appearing happy with my response, looking away again.
"What's your name?" He asks me after a further minute.
"Me? I'm (Y/n). (Y/n) (Y/l/n)."
"John Rambo." John nods, flicking some hair from his face, "And if you're still offering, I'd like to get something to eat, please."
"Of course."
Pulling up to the diner, I park the car, climbing out as I check the cash I have on me, deeming it enough for two decent meals and some drinks, hoping that it won't be too busy at this time of the day. John follows me, leaving his bedroll in the car as we walk into the small restaurant, finding a seat at one of the window booths, sitting opposite each other. He's quiet, scanning the room as soon as he's sat down, body stiff as he unzips his parka, revealing a red woolen jumper underneath. What strikes me most, however, (apart from the obvious planes of rippling muscle) are the silver dog tags hanging around his neck, jingling every so often as he moves.
A waiter comes over to us, handing us menus with a false smile, leaving us alone together again until we've ordered drinks, at which point he returns with the beverages. Stepping away again, John and I are left with some privacy. At this moment, I take a breath and ask him the one question on my mind.
"If you don't mind me asking, are you a soldier?"
John visibly stiffens, eyes hardening a little.
"I was." Is all he says, tone flat.
"Did you serve in Vietnam?" I ask, unable to stop myself as my curiosity gets the better of me.
Once again, John seems reluctant to answer, and instantly starts to glance around, clearly watching for an escape route.
"Yeah." He affirms, gaze returning to me.
Shock fills me at this: I'd heard horrible things about the Vietnam War, about how the soldiers (on both sides) faced terrifying situations that I'd never dream of, my heart stuttering at this admonition.
"Really? That's...wow, that's…" I go to say something, finding myself speechless as I stare at the man before me, admiring him now in a totally new light, "God, you must be a strong person."
He blinks.
"Huh?"
"Well, you've done what I'd never be able to do, you've faced deadly situations, you've probably been in harrowing conditions and fights, I'd never have the strength to do what you did. Very few people do, so you must be a very strong person, mentally." I tell him, still in shock, "You definitely did the country proud, and I respect you for everything you've done. Thank you for that."
He stares at me in shock, eyes wide, lips parted.
"You...What?" Is all he manages, voice hitching.
"I respect you, and admire your bravery. You're a better person than any of the rest of us ever could be." I repeat, smiling gently at him.
For a long moment, he doesn't say anything, his expression remaining as it is, his body tense as he processes what I've said, clearly not quite believing me.
"You...respect me?" He stammers, quietly.
"I do." I nod, taking a sip of my soda.
"Thank you." John murmurs, pulling a face as he looks away, "You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what kinda things I've done."
"What you did isn't relevant to me, only that you served the country, and you did it with bravery, so for that, you have my respect." I reassure him, telling him the truth.
John stays silent this time, apparently too overcome for words.
"Do you...do you need somewhere to stay?" I finally break the silence that has descended on us, tapping a rhythm out onto the table.
"No, but I don't want to inconvenience you any more than I already have, so don't worry about it. I'll figure something out." The veteran shrugs, still a little taken aback.
"You're not inconveniencing me, I wouldn't ask if you were. I have space in my house if you want to take it." I offer him, once again smiling across at him.
For the first time, John smiles at me, his features loosening as the expression crosses his face.
"I'll take it."
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One more. Look-See, Aponi, and Soot with an s/o that moves into the house from the Mohawk shorts and pretty much adopts Estelle once they find out about her.
(Romantic) Look-See, Aponi, and Soot reacting to their s/o adopting Estelle from Mohawk
Aponi
“Who is this sharp-tongued...lost child?”
The most confused. She was gone for (insert amount of time here)! When did this happen?
Aponi would admittedly glom onto Estelle pretty fast. She would definitely be the kind of mother who would want to empower her daughter, so she’s always trying to find ways that Estelle can improve her killing methods. It can become overbearing at times, so you would have to step in when things get too crazy.
I feel like Aponi would also be one of those “my child can do no wrong” parents — especially if she has a daughter. Estelle is her pride and joy and she will let everyone know it. You’re honestly surprised she doesn’t have a wallet full of Estelle pictures to show her victims.
10/10 tells bedtime stories of her quite literally sticking it to the man. “And that’s how Mommy cut the horrible rapist’s head off. The end.”
When Aponi finds out that the townspeople intended to sacrifice you to Estelle, she’s furious. She doesn’t in any way blame her daughter -- no, no. It’s that mayor man’s fault. He’s the one who sold you the house and didn’t tell you what was going to happen. He’s the one who must be punished...
The Look-See
Honestly? He gets jealous of her at first. He’s like a cat -- he requires your attention whenever he wants it, and woe to those (insert whatever item you’re using here) that stand in his way. He’s never had to deal with another person in his way for your attention, and he may start being extra catty towards the little girl. Just keep calling him out on it, he’ll stop eventually.
He’ll never admit it, but he’s also a bit offended. If you wanted a child so bad, you could’ve just asked him for one. He’d be more than happy to deliver on that request...
Once he manages to warm up to Estelle, he’ll start acting more and more like a father figure to her. Hell, sometimes he lured people into the house so she can kill them with him in some sort of daddy-daughter bonding ritual. Unlike Aponi, he absolutely has a wallet full of pictures of you two. He shows them to his proxies constantly. It may be a problem.
Piggy. Back. RIDES. ALL the piggyback rides. He’s gonna be casually carrying this little ghost girl on his shoulders and nobody can stop him.
Unfortunately, his fun domestic fantasy is shattered when he learns that the Mohawkians(?) were planning to let Estelle kill you to further the town’s prosperity. Oh. Oh, no. He is not at all going to let that stand. That night, he’ll come through the door with blood all over him, and he’ll scoop you both up and snuggle with you for hours.
Soot
Probably gonna end up being the most chill about it. Soot seems like a bit of a paradox to me -- easygoing yet high-strung. He’s glad that you and Estelle are happy, but at the same time, he’s worried. What happens if she has a temper tantrum and hurts you? What if something goes wrong and you can’t properly care for her? He has to stick around!
Her chains are his aesthetic. They both pair very well together -- giant mummy with a crown of bones and a tiny blindfolded girl with chains dragging behind her.
Soot is the meme where the woman is holding the man and pointing menacingly at someone. Nobody crosses the baby. Nobody.
If the rest of the Mohawk residents weren’t screwed with Look-See and Aponi around, they certainly are now. I can imagine that a few townspeople in Mohawk have cheated death through the worship of Estelle, and now that the Angel of Death is around... let’s just say things are going to be a bit more lively for a while. Or not, as the case may be…
#crypt tv x reader#crypt tv#crypttv#crypttv x reader#reader insert#monster x reader#crypt tv the look-see#female monster x reader#male monster x reader#monster lover#mohawk#crypt tv mohawk#crypttv mohawk#crypttv soot x reader#crypt tv soot x reader#soot x reader#the look-see x reader#aponi x reader#stoneheart#crypttv stoneheart#crypttv aponi x reader#crypt tv aponi x reader#crypt tv the look see x reader#crypt tv the look-see x reader#crypttv the look see x reader
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I am so glad you pointed out the imperialist vibes Edelgard has sometimes. As someone who lives in a country who was basically occupied ahem conquered because they said "we have better ideas that will improve your lives" and had our culture absolutely shattered, one of the main reasons why I disagree with Edelgard so much is because of that. She thinks her point of view is superior and the most morally right and I really don't like it whenever she sounds so confused about people defending their homeland. Especially that one line she has with Dimitri in Chapter 17 ffffff—
Like, girl, they have the fucking right to disagree with you please stop sounding so confused as to why they can't see eye to eye with you gahhhhh
I would be more tolerant with the war if she had say, did diplomacy before it? But she tried to had Dimitri and Claude killed in Part I (the prologue). I would also understand her better if the war was a last resort and the other leaders were corrupt and all that. But they're not. Many of the students (who have power because many are noble heirs) outside her house are heavily affected by the nobility and Crests (Sylvain, Ingrid, Mercedes, Lysithea, etc.) or at least understanding of the problems caused by them (Dimitri). It's so frustrating how so much of this can be prevented if she just talked about it.
Also, to those who said she wants the change to be quick, even with war it won't be. The fucking war basically caused continent-wide damage. It's going to be so hard to actually fix this. Hell, there's definitely going to be an eventual rebellion by former Kingdom / Alliance people or sympathisers. It's not going to be as clean cut as the game or some pro-Edelgard people make it to be. Not everyone is going to agree with her, whether she takes over or not. She just destroyed the stability of the continent and while yes, she can rebuild it again, it will still take time and who's to say future leaders won't be corrupt? Also, a hierarchy will always exist, whether she likes it or not. Especially if she plans to set up a meritocracy. Meritocracy is going to usually end up giving power and privilege to those with already pre-existing privilege as they the opportunity to show off their merits or develop those skills. Poor and disabled people are going to have difficulty as they don't have equal opportunity to develop skills and accomplish stuff. I'm generalising, but it just ends up as a hierarchy, again. Not only that, it also has ways to enforce discrimination.
Basically, what I'm trying to say is, she needs to long term plan out her systems. I apologise since I have bad memory but as far as I remember, the game doesn't give us too many details on how she wants to establish her system. All I remember is she does the war > Church / Rhea out of power > Establish her government > ???. Someone please clear this up for me because I'm confused.
...and again really, diplomatic reforms are an option. Yes, they're much more tedious. Yes, they take so much more longer. Yes, sometimes it feels impossible to accomplish. But did she not even consider it as an option?
All in all, I do like Edelgard. But I really wish the game let us go against her while we're with her? I wish it wasn't just general "agree with Edelgard" for CF. I remember someone pointing it out to me before that it would've been really great if she had someone in her house who does the same role Felix does in AM... which is basically disagree and call out the lord's shit. And they pointed out Ferdinand could've probably been that character for CF. And I kinda agree? I really think CF would immensely improve if Edelgard had a challenger / foil to her beliefs similar to how Felix does that for Dimitri.
Anyway, sorry for the very long ask lol. I like Edelgard and I agree with some of her morals and ideals such as the crest system being bad but....she's done so dirty asdfghjkl. I do think she's written well enough to incite these emotions in me, and she makes for a good antagonist. As a protagonist lord however.... yeah.
First off, sorry it took so long to respond, but I wanted to give an equally throughout response.
While I haven’t gotten to chapter 17 yet, I can attest to the notion that Edelgard’s rhetoric is eerily similar to Imperialist propaganda. I do understand this is fiction, and that it’s okay to hand-wave/enjoy things in fiction that you shouldn’t or wouldn’t in real life. Crimson Flower has its charms and parts I enjoy. Edelgard is an interesting character more hampered by things that plague Three Houses as a whole than anything else, but it’s still worth examining how dangerous her rhetoric is. Because, unlike you, my country sits at the opposite end - the Imperialist nation selling that rhetoric to its citizens, and, unfortunately, at the time I bought it - which makes me really sensitive to this.
I’m from the US and I’m specifically speaking about the US’s invasion of the Middle East. I was in middle or high school, just barely a teenager, and naive and ignorant enough to believe what my leaders said. Because guess what? I bought into it out of misplaced and ignorant (and racist) compassion. I was horrified at the idea these people were suffering unfairly just because of where they were born whereas I got all these promised privileges just because of where I was born. I really thought the US would go in there and give them democracy and everything would be great. Looking back, I realize they were lying, that we’ve only made things worse, that it’s horribly racist to assume the US was just inherently better, and I’ve sense then gained access to fast-speed internet, traveled, matured, etc . . . and thankfully this all happened before I had any actual power to do anything like vote. But to this day I’m beyond pissed off they used my own compassion against me to line their own pockets. It was ignorant and racist, but it was all based in concern that others didn’t have the same quality of life I had and a growing realization of my own privilege. And that’s what I hate so much. It didn’t sound evil. It sounded good. It used people’s good will and compassion against them and twisted it into evil for their own causes.
I don’t think Edelgard is after Faerghus and the Alliance because she wants oil. I think she honestly thinks she’s doing good. And, if this were real life, I think that makes her rhetoric even more dangerous than a corrupt politicians’. Because everything else is still the same. She’s being ignorant, nationalist instead of racist in this case, and honestly thinks her moral superiority will improve everyone’s lives even if it means ravaging the entire content in war. She is dangerously naive and ignorant.
Maybe I’d support her more morally if I believed for an instant the general populace welcomed the changes she wants to bring, if the leaders she fought against weren’t open and wanting change themselves, ect . . . But the dialogue indicated her presence inspires people running and screaming in terror, not welcoming her presence (see the chapter where you kill Claude). The Kingdom is still fighting tooth and nail against her. She’s not supported. Her changes aren’t wanted. And she hasn’t bothered to learn a single thing about the cultures she’s determined to squash under her heal nor the leaders heading them.
I also think I’d support her better if we had a clearer idea of what her plans were. But CF has shifted from Edelgard speaking about interesting ideas and classism to evil dragon overlords and chastising Byleth for making her blush. The decision to side with her or Rhea is not choosing between two ideals, but an emotional, spur of the moment thing. Edelgard’s early supports with Byleth attempt to convince the player to side with her not based on political ideals, but on feeling sorry for her.
CF gives you no choice but to agree with everything Edelgard says (as you said, there’s no “Felix” or a “Lorenz”). It wants you to support her war without question, and therefore you don’t get any answers to questions like - if this is really just about Rhea, why are we invading the Alliance? Because they won’t hand power over to you? Why didn’t you just stick to the Empire to enact your changes? In the end, you’re left with what sounds more and more like an entitled Imperialistic princess with absolutely no idea how ignorant she is hell bent on conquering what she thinks belongs to her based on a conspiracy theory.
All that said, I do think Edelgard has interesting ideas and isn’t wholly wrong, just how she goes about it is horribly wrong. And I fully believe the core issue is how CF has dropped the ball big time writing wise, because diving deeper into her ideas and not her crush on you would go a long way. So would shifting the narrative away from evil boogey dragon lady must die and everyone else is wrong and I am superior and right and more towards a clashing of ideals, this route could’ve been a lot more and seemed a lot less ignorant, naive, entitled, and Imperialistic.
#fire emblem#Fire Emblem Three Houses#fire emblem 3 houses#fe16#fe3h#edelgard discourse#just incase any of her fans don't want to see this#and have that tag blocked#because this doesn't paint a pretty picture of her
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Goddamn another long ass post, don’t ask me why
So as I’ve noticed, a lot of people have come to see or have even started shipping Mauram. And whether this is linked to me oR NOT i want to explain why I ship it, because apparently I haven’t done that yet. [Under the Cut]
okay so mauram is a ship name for maurice and sam. so canonically maurice is more of a jokester. he kicks sand in peoples faces and then acts like a fool to make them happy again. because while maurice may be a hunter and by technicality, a “savage”, he still feels empathy. he definitely follows jack, but clearly isn’t the smartest (ie the squid conversation) and while he enjoys being a hunter, he seems to be in it for more of the fun side of things and being a child. Sam is also more childish because he was younger at the time and is easily scared by stuff like the beastie or the fucken. man with a parachute. however, he joined the hunters by force and was tortured, and yet he still helped ralph, so he is by default, a less “savage” person canonically. however, if you jump into general headcanons regarding the two, the twins AND maurice are both very mischievous and pull pranks on people. their personalities are oddly similar to most people when creating traits for them because a) they’re not really described in the book all that much and b) when they are, their actions end up leading to a similar personality. usually the twins are considered smarter than maurice, seeing as in a lot of text posts hes the one cracking jokes that are pretty dumb or having a lack of knowledge. their headcanoned personalities match together so well because of their similarities and their differences, what maurice lacks, sam makes up for. theoretically it’s like two pieces of a puzzle if you dive into how people headcanon them.
CANONICALLY however, they have very limited to no interactions that are written but that’s because the book is from ralphs perspective, making ralph be the protagonist so you never really get to see any of the hunters interactions with the twins while they’re being tortured. Or even if maurice is there. but they were still alive and the question is why. because jack would gladly have them dead, two other people have died. and roger really doesn’t give a shit, let’s be real. he would gladly kill the twins AND they have enough hunters. so that means that theoretically, someone that jack trusted or at least would listen to had to speak up against killing them either because the hunters aren’t as mad as jack and roger or because there was an established relationship with the twins that made them feel sympathetic. and the only person who has nearly as much power over jack as roger is maurice, seen earlier in the book during hunting. maurice had to be the one to speak up about the twins because he’s the only one with enough leverage over jack to get him to convince roger that killing the twins is unnecessary, and they should be kept alive because they could be “useful” when in fact, they were not useful to the tribe because they helped ralph.
and in modern aus, the twins are usually still ralphs friends and maurice is jacks because there’s typically the split between the two as there was on the island. but most of the time, maurice isn’t really involved because it’s a jalph fic or a rogermon one and maurice just isn’t there. furthermore, maurice tends to be a second option to his friends canonically, most of them bothered by him unless he does something funny or is needed for work. guess what? so are the twins. and the boys played around a lot on the beach, so maurice and the twins more than likely had interactions that just weren’t mentioned.
Fics/ Headcanons
so the choir usually exists in modern/no island aus because they need simon to know the boys so he can be a good boy like simon usually does. the twins usually have some of the biggest vendettas against the choir in the fics i’ve read because the choir gets oddly physical with them. however when fights occur, jack gets ralph, roger gets simon ((if hes even being responsive)) and maurice usually takes the twins. also the twins are usually straight in the fics which i think is just a way of having internalised homophobia because they are. way too straight. nobody is that straight, you bring men up and they’re like HAHA ANYWAYS, WOMEN. in a lot of fics, eric is the one who has the worse anger for the choir and is like. super pissy at all of them. and to me it’s because sam sees himself in maurice a little bit due to their usual similarities and hes just more soft spoken and doesn’t want to confront anyone about it. which leads to the perfect setup for a crush on maurice that he doesn’t even realise is there because he was so caught up realising how similar they are and how much more popular and, in theory, better maurice is that instead of doing what he sees people like piggy or eric doing, which is saying “i wish i could be like the hunters and walk around like i own the place”, he doesn’t want to be like maurice, he wants to be with maurice. however, because of his usual internalised homophobia, he convinces himself that he wants to be maurice and talk like his friends do, but he doesn’t really use the same bitter language, as he’s usually written nicer and even though he’s mischievous, he’s the kinder hearted twin most times. so he obviously isn’t fond of the choir members, but he still wishes he was like them to an extent and everything just kind of falls into place logistically that he, at some point, has a crush on one of the choir members
so why maurice? why not ralph or someone else?
well because all of his friends had never displayed the amount of similarities to him that maurice had. and none of them had displayed the empathy maurice undoubtedly did in the scenarios where things got physical. maurice himself was canonically never as physical as everyone else. he never really hurt anyone that was serious and not a joke. while ralph was kind to him, ralph was very disinterested in people, which i don’t even need to delve into canon for that, he was bored of people like every other line. simon is very introverted and spends most time with ralph and the choir typically, not seen with the twins as often. and piggy himself is just whiny in an endearing way but doesn’t reflect sams own personality. and while people think “opposites attract” (ie ralph and jack or roger and simon), that isn’t always the case. and with how sam behaved and spent time around those who he matched up with personality wise, he would, in theory, only like people who have fragments of his mind in theirs. back to the pieces of a puzzle thing. they have to be pieces of the *same* puzzle, not different ones.
so what about maurice?
maurice’s decisions are influenced by the choir, because he follows them around a lot when it comes to making big choices. he’s less violent by nature and more joking so when his friends bully ralph’s, he probably doesn’t take it as seriously as he should. but he doesn’t really like being angry and that’s on canon, when he kicked sand into percival’s eyes then joked around to cheer him up. maurice doesn’t like other people feeling bad because of his own actions. so he’s probably nicer to ralph’s friends than anyone else just because he has a tough time handling consequences. which leads to his nicer personality meeting sams less aggressive to the choir vibe and even though he is less observant, he still notices how similar they are. and unlike sam, he wants to be *like* sam because he is less vibrant and less out there and blends into a crowd better. and deep down, he doesn’t want to be a “bully” because he still has a heart and empathy. however, the feeling of “i want to be him” switches over to “i want to be with him” once he starts really looking at sam’s actions more than he did before because of how much they could, and would, click with each other. but of course if he were to ever talk to anyone in the choir about it, he would face horrible consequences so he, in turn, gets worse with the teasing and while he doesn’t get physical, he gets meaner as a defence mechanism so nobody else finds out which is what could’ve happened canonically, as of his descent into savagery.
#lotf#lord of the flies#lotf maurice#lotf sam#lotf samneric#lotf mauram#rambles#mauram#mack rambles#my headcanons#headcanons#this is way too long tbh#anyways#just wanted to explain!!!
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Novella/super edition anon, again. Maybe if Leopardstar had a novella and Blackstar had a super edition instead- maybe the stories could’ve been better. The concept for Blackstar’s book maybe to be a story that has to be long and not short like; Leopardstar’s Honor was just retelling from another character’s prospective with some filler and it’s honestly a waste for me. Maybe a novella of Leopardstar’s early life to show the readers why she’s like this or during the Tigerstar era; while Blackstar’s Reckoning showing him try to be a leader while getting flashbacks of his pasts. Then maybe but it does also depends on the writers and how they handle the situation. It’s good for Erins wanting to write about them and fans wanting to learn more about them but some characters don’t really have a story to tell- even if they do, only certain story types can be used to make the story good. I just think the Erins are too busy focusing on characters whose stories don’t really need to be tolf and not paying attention to the ones have more story potential- sometimes giving the fans what they want isn’t really a good thing unfortunately. I believe Leopardstar’s and Blackstar’s stories have potential but both books just failed for me- they just seemed to be full of filler and don’t give the characters the redemption arcs many fans were hoping these books would be about, what I was hoping to they’d get.
Even with the current system which I agree can ruin a story, it took me several years to develop to the at least decent stories I have today- it’s also because the Erins, especially the Erins we have now, don’t really care. They know that Warrior Cats is popular enough to where no matter how bad it is, people will read it- right now, the series is just being pushed and pushed for money. Even with the original Erins who do care, they still didn’t write the series well enough- the story has offensive stuff, and horribly written tropes, even heavy topics aren’t written well, did questionable things, and this series has been around for years. First released in 2003. The story isn’t even well organized enough to where the Erins can’t remember which character is dead or alive, whose related or not, how events were played out, sometimes even misgender their own characters. Part of me doesn’t really blame the original Erins for most of this because they no longer have control for their own creation- Kate can’t even name a kit without the current Erins changing it. They changed Twigshade to Twigbranch.
I’m sorry if I sound harsh but the Erins are also to blame for this, to me at least. I’ve been disappointed by them too many times in and out the books- to me, they just don’t really care anymore, mainly the current Erins. I just think it’s they focus more on characters who we know nothing about and like Leopardstar and Blackstar before, also have potential but maybe those stories won’t be good as well. I can only hope.
Hi again!
Despite me really likening Blackstar’s novella personally, I definitely agree with what you say. I think Blackstar’s story would have been better told in the format of a super edition like you suggest and I feel that Leopardstar should have had a novella that mainly spanned her younger days, maybe ending just after Whiteclaw’s death or something, imo everything after that in her super edition feels largely unnecessary despite me enjoying it, mainly because it overlaps so much with the first arc and doesn’t add much new beyond that point.
I don’t think you’re being harsh at all. Unfortunately Warriors has very much become a cash grab with the new editors involved in mapping out the stories being unlikely to be invested in these stories as much as the OG Erins were/are
And I totally understand the frustrations you express in the second ask, and I do feel like that too, even if I still largely enjoy the stories that are told
#and thanks for the comments about this blog btw#that feedback is very appreciated#I try my best to make this a good space#anonymous#long post
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Dismas and friends
16. Shiledbreaker
Amani doesn’t like Dismas.
He’s too loud, too cocky, too… He reminds her of those men, the ones she ran away from, the ones who were bringing her to…
At least he’s smart enough to avoid her - he must’ve sensed her disdain for him.
She’s also been lucky enough to never being in the same group as him for an expedition, which she appreciates, knowing that she wouldn’t give her best with him present.
Thinking that she would have to fight along someone like him, someone who must’ve done the same things they have done…
“Amani, we need to talk.”
She wasn’t looking forward to this at all, but she supposes she can’t escape, can’t she? After all, it’s her fault they ended that in that situation, and the reason why they lost their companions during the expedition…
A sigh leaves her mouth, but she keeps herself straight - she refuses to show any sign of weakness in front of him.
“Not here,” she says, because if she has to open up about this she at least wants nobody except Dismas to hear about it. It’s already hard to share this with him, she doesn’t want others to discover it.
She begins to walk towards her own room, expecting Dismas to follow her, which he does. Surprisingly, he doesn’t open him mouth not even one bit, which feels weird for someone who usually never hesitates to complain about the smallest stuff.
Still, she appreciates his silence; it helps her prepare for what’s to come.
Once they step inside, she closes the door. Now it’s just her and Dismas.
Amani expected Dismas to push her to talk immediately, but his demeanor is quite relaxed actually - it might be a trap, it’s definitely a trap.
“Take your time,” he says, voice low, almost a whisper, like he’s afraid that it would tarnish his reputation if he said it out loud, even though they’re alone.
Still, she does take her time, gathering her thoughts and, more importantly, the strength to be able to talk without breaking - she wouldn’t forgive herself if she did it in front of Dismas.
She walks to her bed, sitting on it, while Dismas rests himself against the window, arms crossed to his chest and scowl hidden behind his neckerchief like always.
Despite everything, she doesn’t feel intimidated by his presence. This isn’t the front Dismas usually puts up during the expeditions. It almost makes her feel at ease, almost.
A sigh escapes her mouth. Fine, she’ll talk, but first there’s something she needs to know.
“How much do you remember?”
“Very little,” Dismas admits. “We all went to sleep, and I remember something hissing in the dark. Then we woke up and two of us were dead and you were screaming to be left alone.”
Ah, so he doesn’t remember the fight at all.
“Remember how I insisted that I didn’t want to come for the longer expeditions?”
“I do,” Dismas replies. “You were quite upset you were put in our group…”
“This is the reason why I didn’t want to go. I… they always come at night, when I’m not alone.”
Dismas narrows his eyes.
“They? Who are these people you’re talking about?”
“They’re not people! They’re…” Amani hesitates, but just for a moment. She can’t go back, now. “They’re nightmares.”
Dismas doesn’t say anything this time, but it’s obvious that he’s confused. Well, he’s not the only one: after all, had she discovered the true nature of those horrible, wretched things, she would’ve gotten rid of them already.
“Every night they fester my dreams, though it’s only when I’m with company that they attack.”
“… And what they do, normally?”
Amani swallows as she thinks about those damned snakes mocking her in the distance.
They don’t move, they never move, and neither does she, afraid that if she tries to leave, they’ll follow her and get more aggressive, so she just remains there, trembling under their hisses, cowering under their mocking gaze.
Even now she can feel their presence, despite the fact that she’s awake.
It’s terrifying.
She doesn’t reply, the silence weighting heavily on her shoulders, but thankfully Dismas doesn’t push her. He just stays there, watching her, not unlike the snakes, and yet… it’s also different: it’s not mockery what she sees in his gaze, not even judgment. It’s almost like he’s understanding, in a way.
Does he have similar demons too?
Then, he speaks.
“If you had warned us, we could’ve--”
“I know.”
Does he think that this hasn’t been her constant thought since they’ve come back to the Hamlet? Until the end she decided not to say anything about them, foolishly hoping that they wouldn’t manifest themselves, not while she’s surrounded by people who can fight. She thought that the other times it happened because they felt safe enough to attack, but that couldn’t happen if they were all experience warriors? And now two of them are dead because of her, and it’s eating her up from the inside.
She clenches her hand into a fist in order to keep it from shaking too much, but it’s hard to keep her composure; she’s close to her breaking point, but she doesn’t want Dismas to see it.
“You should leave,” she urges him, trying to keep her voice firm.
“Are you sure?” Dismas asks, looking concerned. At least he’s not insisting on talking about their previous subject.
She doesn’t say yes, but she nods. Yes, she needs to be alone now.
Dismas however tries to reach for her, prompting her to flinch away out of instinct, despite the fact that the odds of Dismas having bad intentions are impossibly low. “Please.”
Dismas stops in his tracks immediately, maybe pondering something - Amani doesn’t know.
“Fine,” he eventually says, much to her relief. He makes his way slowly to the door, stopping again before opening it, to turn towards Amani. “I’ll be at the tavern, if you don’t feel like being alone anymore…”
Amani doesn’t say anything, which prompts Dismas to leave.
She waits until the sound of steps disappears to let out a shaky breath.
On one hand, she feels like she opened up too much, on the other… It was almost nice, being able to share her burden with someone else. Dismas hasn’t even tried to use it against her, which is surprising.
Still, her relief is short-lived, not when she already begins to feel those damned snake eyes pointed towards her, making her shiver under their malignant gaze.
She feels the unstoppable need to flee, but where could she go… The tavern. Dismas told her he was going there, right?
Should she join him though? Wouldn’t it be a risk? Hasn’t she exposed herself enough?
She deliberates just for another moment, before deciding that, in the end, she’s willing to take this risk.
She gets up, then, ready to leave her room.
She’s going to join Dismas.
#darkest dungeon#highwayman#shieldbreaker#dd highwayman#dd shieldbreaker#dismas#amani#my fics#mine#dismas and friends
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poisoning
prompt: poisoning
whumpee: malcolm bright
fandom: prodigal son
what is up!!! hope u enjoy this fic with a questionable (aka made up completely) poison!
The library is loud and bustling with a dizzying array of activity, though the librarian behind the main desk doesn’t seem to mind. Possibly this is because the ones causing all the noise and disruption are the police. Possibly this is because she’s dead.
Edrisa is next to her, leaning against the desk and writing in a notebook, Malcolm looking over her shoulder. Dani and JT are walking around the inside of the library, rounding up visitors and workers and shepherding them into one area. Gil is hunched over a computer with a security officer going over the tapes from the library’s video cameras.
For about fifteen minutes, everything runs as smoothly as it ought to be. Edrisa looks over her notes on the body, chatting with Malcolm. JT and Dani finish rounding up everyone in the library and get to work examining the scene. Gil finds nothing of interest on the security tapes.
Then, Malcolm glances up from where he’d been looking at Edrisa’s notes. “I’ll be right back,” he says, and before she can ask him where he’s going, he’s hurrying off towards the back of the building.
Someone’s back there. Malcolm had seen them. He knows they could just be a straggler, maybe someone who’d been in the bathroom while JT and Dani were rounding up everyone in the building, but something tells him that’s not the case.
His suspicion seems to be proven correct when he steps out from behind a shelf and makes brief eye contact with the person, who turns and runs.
Malcolm takes off after them, hearing someone behind him call his name but ignoring it. This very well might be their killer trying to escape! He doesn’t have time to call back a reply.
The person runs into a small glass-walled conference room, slamming its door behind them. Malcolm sees them head for the opposite side of the room, where there’s another door…
He flings open the door to the room, but he’s too late - the person steps through the other door into some kind of hall space, and even as Malcolm runs up to it he hears a lock on the other side click. He slams a fist against the door, desperate to open it, but it’s no use. He heaves a sigh and prepares to leave and tell his team what he’s just seen. There’s still time to catch their killer at the scene of the crime, if he hurries.
Something clicks behind him, sounding not unlike a gun. He freezes, raises his hands, turns around...but there’s no one there. He squints his eyes, searching the room. He’d heard something, he had.
Something is smoking in the corner. Better than a gun, he figures, but still. A fire. Great. He walks up to it, grabbing a plastic trashcan to cover it up with, and stops in front of it.
It’s not a fire. It’s some kind of metallic sphere, leaking...some sort of gas that smells kind of funny.
Malcolm scarcely has time to think, oh shit, before the gas starts acting on him. He feels his head start to spin, his legs start to shake, and frantically tries to reach the door, but he’s too late. He collapses to the floor a second before his hand touches the doorknob.
--
“Bright?” JT steps around the bookshelf he’d seen the profiler duck behind moments before. And freezes. In front of him is a glass-walled room, quickly filling with smoke, a figure slumped, presumably unconscious, against the door.
“Fire!” he shouts, and a second later he hears the alarm start to ring. There’s a panicked scream from the main room, and above the noise he hears Gil shouting out orders to the people in the building, telling them to get outside but stay close, telling his officers to make sure everyone is okay and to keep them close by. He hears Edrisa’s name, Dani’s name, his own name, Bright’s name…
“JT!” comes Gil’s shout, louder this time. “Detective Tarmel, where are you?”
“Back here!” he shouts back, approaching the smoke-filled room cautiously. He reaches out a hand and touches the doorknob, pulling it back instinctively at the expectation of heat.
But it’s not hot. He reaches back out for the knob, wrapping his hand around it. It’s not hot. He puts a hand to the glass of the door. Also not hot…
“Gil!” he shouts, backing slowly away from the room. “Not a fire!”
Footsteps come up behind him, and he turns to see Gil, looking worried and now also confused.
“What do you mean, not a fire?” he asks.
“It’s gas,” JT says. “No heat.” He taps his fingers on the glass for effect, then realizes that Gil can’t see the person behind it.
“Bright’s in there,” he says, stepping away from the door to let Gil look at his unconscious figure, a dark shape against the grey smoke. “I didn’t know...if I open the door, that gas is gonna come pouring out into this building. And I have no idea what it is.”
If Gil had looked worried before, he looks almost panicked now. “I’ll call for hazmat technicians,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Do you know if there’s another way into that room?”
JT shakes his head. It’s an interior room with its back to a solid wall set through the building as a divider, so there may be another door, but it won’t be to the outside, which means opening it will cause the same problem as opening the door in front of them.
JT waits as Gil talks on the phone, hating the feeling of not being able to do anything. He radios Dani to let her know what’s happening, and she tells him that the fire department’s there and coming inside. That’s something at least, he thinks, and tells Gil he’s going to bring them back to the room.
He meets the firemen at the front door and explains the situation as well as he can as he leads them to where Malcolm is. They pause in front of the room, the firefighters eyeing it carefully. Nothing happens for a beat. Then JT sees something…
“Shit,” he whispers, seeing the firefighters notice the same thing.
“Gil!” he calls to the lieutenant, who is still on the phone, his back to the action like he can’t bear to see it.
Gil turns around, and immediately sees the problem, widening his eyes. The smoke is starting to seep out from under the door, thin white tendrils curling up from the floor. He informs the 911 operator of this latest development, nods, and then hangs up with a grim look on his face.
“Hazmat can’t get here for at least fifteen minutes,” he says, looking to the firefighters. “Any chance you can just...open the door and get him out?”
“Are you two the only ones left in the building?”
“Apart from him, yes,” Gil says.
“Good. You both get out and get everyone outside to back away from the building. We’ll get your guy out.”
Neither JT nor Gil is especially pleased with this directive, not wanting to leave Malcolm behind, but the firefighters have masks and they don’t, so they exit the building, guiding everyone outside away.
No more than a minute later, the firefighters return, one of them carrying Malcolm slung over their shoulder. They hurry him into an ambulance, and Gil goes to join them. “You and Dani are in charge,” he tells JT. “I want you to get everyone’s names and have our officers take those that are willing to give statements back to the precinct. The hazmat technicians will be here soon, and I want you and Dani to stay and help them set up a perimeter and answer any questions they have as best as you can.”
JT nods his assent as Gil steps into the ambulance. “Call us as soon as you know anything,” he says, seeing Gil nod as the doors close.
--
Gil settles down in the ambulance beside Malcolm, who is lying flat on the stretcher, breathing shallowly, looking far too pale, and still unconscious, though not for long. A paramedic holds a smelling salt under his nose, and Malcolm jerks awake, much to Gil’s relief. It’s short-lived, though, when he sees the kid’s face scrunch up in pain.
--
The very first thing that he feels is his lungs. Which are on fire. They are absolutely burning with every shallow breath he takes, and he wishes desperately to go back to whatever state he’d been in before he’d woken up...wherever he was. An ambulance, he figures, if the sound of a siren and the blurred scenery around him is anything to go by.
He coughs as he tries to sit up, feeling his head pound with the effort. The slight change in position is enough to make him wildly dizzy, and he’s grateful when a hand pushes him gently back down. Wait. He knows that hand. He squints his eyes, focusing hard enough to make out the shape of Gil sitting next to him, his hand still on Malcolm’s chest.
“Wh...happened?” he asks, coughing again. His chest burns hotter still. His head pounds. He waits for Gil to answer him.
Gil says nothing.
“Gil,” Malcolm pleads, feeling like he’s spinning directionless in more ways than one. He doesn’t remember what happened to him, which is fairly terrifying. It could have been anything. Clearly it’s something bad, if Gil won’t tell him.
“You were poisoned,” Gil says, finally, reluctantly.
He...definitely does not remember that. Still, he thinks grimly, it’s far from the worst thing that could’ve happened to him. He asks the next question that floats to the top of his brain. “W’th what?”
“A gas. We’re not sure what yet.”
That is horribly not reassuring, Malcolm thinks. It is interesting, though. But he’ll think about that later, he decides, as his head gives an especially painful throb. He closes his eyes as another wave of dizziness follows it.
“You still with us, kid?”
He nods slightly. Unfortunately. God, he’s never been this dizzy in his life.
“We’re almost there,” Gil continues, which Malcolm decides is some reassurance. The hospital, while far from his favorite place, is bound to have something to make his head stop hurting. Maybe they even have something to figure out what’s happened to him…
He lets those thoughts sustain them until the ambulance arrives, and then they’re moving him, and Gil’s walking beside him, talking about something Malcolm can’t focus on, because all he can focus on is his own body, which is not taking its sudden movement too well. It takes every ounce of his willpower to fight the nausea that rises in his throat, and his head pounds with every inch they move, and he barely manages to keep himself conscious. He just wants this to be over…
And suddenly, it is. They stop moving him along, and then someone gently lifts him up and places him onto a surface that he recognizes as a hospital bed, and something cold and wet touches his arm and then a needle slides into it. Seconds later, and finally, the pain of everything fades away.
“You’re going to be okay,” he hears Gil say from beside him. He briefly wonders how Gil can possibly know that, but then sleep is pulling him under, and for once he doesn’t fight it.
thanks a million for reading this!!! i couldn’t find any kind of poison gas that worked how i wanted so i made it up completely....oh well lmao. hope u enjoyed!! if u tell me u did u will make my day!
#febuwhump2021#febuwhumpday7#poisoning#prodigal son#malcolm bright#poisoned#unconscious#hospital#cared for#my writing#i say things
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After being on Tumblr for a while and seeing all the Manfred Von Karma hate, I've come to realize that I might've developed a soft spot for our most dispicable villain. Honestly, the guy gets FAR too much hate than he deserves. Hear me out!
One of the things we learn about Manfred Von Karma is that he has a family. He has a wife, children and grandchildren. We also know that he loves them very much, considering how much he brags about them, takes pride in everything they do and his daughter Franziksa takes pride in being the daughter of Manfred Von Karma. If you play Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, there's a part where Manfred Von Karma brags about how good his wife's cooking is despite being an amateur. It's clear that he's a loving father and husband to his family. He even took great pride in Miles Edgeworth and his accomplishments, despite being the son of the man he killed, and made him his heir.
On the outside, it does seem strange he would love any amount of pride and care for his pupil he's going to stab in the back in Turnabout Goodbyes, but there's also plenty to consider. Manfred Von Karma's only intention was to frame Miles Edgeworth for the murder of Robert Hammond, not his father. Had he succeeded, there's a good chance Manfred Von Karma would've been permoted as Chief Prosecutor and pulled a Blackquill on Miles Edgeworth as an inmate prosecutor. So long as Miles Edgeworth still followed him like that was his Lord and Savior, he'd take it as his mentor just doing his job. Miles Edgeworth confessing to murdering his father was one thing Manfred Von Karma didn't plan and it was after he realized the note from his mentor about the murder plan that we see Manfred Von Karma inside the Record Room. We see Manfred Von Karma trying to get rid of evidence from DL-6, but we also learn from The Grand Turnabout that if there is no evidence against the Defendant, they can be declared Not Guilty. Sure, Phoenix had files of DL-6, but Manfred Von Karma doesn't know that. Sure, Manfred Von Karma hates his perfect record being destroyed, but wasn't it already destroyed anyways thanks to the Not Guilty on Robert Hammond's murder? Manfred Von Karma's not Godot, he's not going to allow a Not Guilty verdict just to indict the defendant of another crime. He's a perfectionist, if he goes down, then how can he call himself a Prosecutor? Not to say Manfred Von Karma purposely lost to Phoenix when it came to DL-6, I'd definitely disagree on that, but it's clear he was ready to burst with his guilt tumbling down on him like an avalanche. He lost his perfect record and his star pupil. You can't expect this insane guy to walk away with his head held high. The moment Miles Edgeworth realized his nightmare was real was the moment Manfred Von Karma lost everything and had no one to blame, but himself.
Manfred Von Karma's relationship with Miles Edgeworth is the one that really sticks out. This is because, strangely enough, it's a very healthy student/mentor relationship that gives us a reason for why Miles Edgeworth looked at Manfred Von Karma as some sort of god. Think of how Miles Edgeworth looks to Phoenix Wright, setting the gay jokes aside. Doesn't Miles Edgeworth also look to Phoenix Wright the same or similar way as he did with his mentor? We all know the reason why: Phoenix Wright saved Miles Edgeworth. Miles Edgeworth looked to his father to the highest degree, because he saved innocent people. So, what's the reason for him looking to Manfred Von Karma as a character who looks up to those that save innocent people and would go heaven and earth to save himself? I think that speaks for itself.
Manfred Von Karma saving people seems laughable on the surface, after seeing what he did to Gregory Edgeworth and his star pupil, but let us think of this possibility. Wasn't it also Manfred Von Karma that defended Delicia Scones from being falsely accused and framed for murder? It isn't like he had a reason to do so. I'm not saying Manfred Von Karma is Superman, but I do think that his heroic side needs to be addressed to understand why Miles Edgeworth would look up to a man like him. We need to understand why Miles Edgeworth seeing Manfred Von Karma as a murderer is what led to him writing a suicide note and being left with uncertainty of his Prosecutor’s Path. The reason is simply because Manfred Von Karma was a man that has saved innocent lives and perhaps has saved Miles Edgeworth at some point in time.
If I had to sum up what brought such a soft spot for Manfred Von Karma for me, it’s the fact he’s an evil person with a moral compass. He believes in perfection, but also loves and cares about his family and those under his authority. He’s the kind of person that would kill someone for ruining his perfect record, but is also the kind to save the innocence without being asked. He will call anyone foolish for going against him, but will defend the honor of his lowly wife, because he loves her. Manfred Von Karma is a human being that feels emotion and holds some sort of moral compass. He’s also the only mastermind villain that only murdered out of the heat of the moment. Manfred Von Karma didn’t create the earthquake or plan on Gregory Edgeworth to be stuck in an airtight elevator, then pass out to give him a moment to murder. In fact, what Manfred Von Karma did to Gregory Edgeworth is called Voluntary Manslaughter.
It’s only once you consider that Manfred Von Karma’s murder was Manslaughter and compare that to all the other villains that did murder through methods that were calculating and deliberate with the sole intention of taking someone’s life that you also have to consider that Manfred Von Karma isn’t a cold-blooded killer. Manfred Von Karma is no Dahlia Hawthorne, Kristoph Gavin, Damon Gant, Blaise Debeste, Patricia Roland, Shelly De Killer, Matt Engard, Dogen, Ambassador Alba, Redd White, Tigre, Acro and many others who had planed and calculated murders with the sole purpose of murder without regrets. Manfred Von Karma fits in with the other murderers that did murder, but only had out of passion at the moment it happened such as Frank Sawett, Dee Vascez, Godot, Jaques Portsman, Melee, Gustavia, Alita Tiala, and probably more, some of whom have been proven to only be given a lifelong sentence.
I have often had Manfred Von Karma to be given the Death Penalty, but I also consider he may’ve been given a long or life sentence. Phoenix has hinted the possibility of Manfred Von Karma having been executed, but it’s also not certain either. I don’t think we’ll ever know. What I do know is that Manfred Von Karma is in the middle on the scale of the most to least evil villain in Ace Attorney. Even his murder cannot compare to many of the most colorful villains. Manfred Von Karma murdered out of circumstances. He never planned it or even knew the outcome of it. Also, unlike the number of the most evil villains in Ace Attorney, Manfred Von Karma showed love and pride toward his family and students. He never once used them to commit any crimes or schemes. Yes, he stabbed Miles Edgeworth in the back, but again out of circumstances. Had Miles Edgeworth not shown up at Gourd Lake, Manfred Von Karma would’ve thrown Yanni Yogi under the bus quicker than a speeding train. Had he found not found Gregory Edgeworth inside the elevator or if little Miles had been awake, Manfred Von Karma would’ve not picked up the gun and just went off his merry way. Any other most evil villain would’ve found a Plan B. Manfred Von Karma would’ve been angry, but would’ve cooled down after a long walk and a cup of tea. There wouldn’t be so many No DL-6 stories, if this wasn’t the case. You’d have to admit that there was a greater chance Manfred Von Karma could’ve not murdered Gregory Edgeworth had he not been found in that elevator.
I’m certain there will always be people that hate Manfred Von Karma, even after reading this. This is more of me speaking for myself. I used to hate Manfred Von Karma with a passion after the Trilogy. After playing Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2, I began defending Manfred Von Karma. I think it was mostly because it turned out that he didn’t plan or know that the Autopsy Report of IS-7 was forged. It made me wonder if, like Miles Edgeworth and Franziska Von Karma, if Manfred Von Karma never forged evidence and was just given falsified evidence for him to use from a much bigger villain. Not saying that Manfred Von Karma isn’t a horrible person, because he is, but I don’t think he ever was trying to be a horrible person. I do think he truly believed he was doing right and saving people. Think of it this way, if Manfred Von Karma truly wanted to make Gregory Edgeworth pay and suffer in the most cruel way possible, considering how he blackmailed Jeffery Master using his daughter, which one of these would Manfred Von Karma choose: kill Gregory Edgeworth or kill his son Miles Edgeworth. Which do you believe Manfred Von Karma would use against Gregory to make him pay, if he had everything planed and calculated?
I will leave you guys with that question to think about.
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9th of October, 2020
"The One with the Cards Laid Bare"
[INCREDIBLY LONG, SORRY FOR CLOGGING THE TAG]
There were very tense energies in our classroom before V's double class. We already knew she'd cried today, we knew where she'd be working from other classes, so we all knew what would come, and it still was bad. One of the boys said he heard that she hopes we're not all angry at her and that we won't hate her for her decision. There was not an inch of anger or hatred in any of us, just heartbreak. We knew how much we'd cry seeing her leave. We were afraid of this goodbye. But it had to come eventually. The last class she'll ever teach. The last two lessons she'll ever have.
She was late. Only a couple minutes, but seeing she's always on time, or even a bit early, it was worrying. I walked outside to find her, and when I did, I saw her, coming up the stairs with two boys from the class, fresh back from lunch. Immediately as she saw me, she raised her index finger and said: "No." I didn't really understand it, until she continued: "I'm not gonna cry. I'm trying to go at least two minutes without crying." My heart was in shambles, and nothing even happened yet.
She started by telling us an e-mail is not how she wanted us to find out. She wanted to tell us herself, but not until today, probably not until the end of class, even though she's known for quite a long time she wanted to leave. She didn't tell us, because she wanted these last days not to be chaotic, so we could still focus and do our best in class. There were signs, though. And I should have known. There's one in basically every post I wrote this year. Funny thing is, when I told you about how she was with the girl from the other class and I thought something was up, it was only my gut feeling. She hadn't told them yet. Only in the last 20 minutes of that double class.
She also told us who will be replacing her, just to get the professional part quickly over with. V said she expects us to treat them fairly, even if she won't be here to check on us. We keep this promise. Most of the time, it works.
Being a teacher doesn't pay well, and here, in our country, the profession itself is not respected the way it should be. 10 years of experience in the field means nothing, she said. The new education system is horrible, unbearable, and she's had enough of feeling like she's in a toxic relationship. Not with us, with teaching. She said she used to feel very anxious when she got here, and by now I know what she hadn't told us in that moment, that she still doesn't feel good thinking about school. She has to leave for her own sake, even though she feels incredibly guilty about it. Even though she'll miss us.
She said, through tears, constantly stopping to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts, that teaching is something she was planning to do her whole life long, but she has to step back now. Even though she has "the seniors, standing before their graduation exams, [us], whom [she's] bonded with", she can't do it anymore. And when one of the girls asked her if she really did love us, she said: "Would I have stayed so long if I didn't?"
We spent long minutes in class discussing the education system, and when I said I didn't know about something that supposedly came from the weaker one of the theatre universities here at home, V was surprised that I hadn't read it. She called me a nickname again, a new one. I've been babygirl and I've been fairy bug before, but not once have I been the name that translates to "my life". Spanish speakers, it's like when you guys say mi vida to someone you love. That's what V called me. I don't remember her ever having called someone that in class.
Between classes, Bandana Friend, who was sick, joined us via video call to speak to V, as she really wanted to say goodbye, at least like this. I stood right beside V as they spoke, out of the camera's sight, unlike my classmates, constantly goofing off in the background, making both V and my friend laugh a little. As I stood there, I couldn't help but marvel at V's eyes from up close, in the light. I don't think I've ever seen a more enchanting eye colour before, and I find nearly every pair of eyes I see pretty. Seriously, I wasn't overexaggerating in any of my posts. If you once catch her eye, you won't know when to stop looking.
After a while, though, my classmates got a bit much, still during the call, and there I was, gathering bravery and doing something I've never done before. I stroked V's arm for a second or two, like I've wanted to so many times before, to show sympathy. She didn't even look at me, didn't even flinch, she probably knew who was touching her. And, seeing how unresponsive, how calm she was about it, I couldn't help but think: "Is this something I could've done this whole time?"
Before the second class with her started, Debate Friend called her a derivative of her first name (though she made sure to say Miss with it), and V just told her not to be rude. Hours pass, and V lets her (and us all, indirectly) call her by her first name, which is something we're still adapting to, but I'm rushing too far ahead, let's slow down a little.
The second class went well, she wasn't crying anymore, on the contrary. We laughed a lot, she told us her honest opinion on a lot of us, who asked her what she thinks of them, and gave advice if needed. I didn't ask. I figured that if she wants to tell me something, she will. Then a very crazy chain of events happened.
She looked like she was gonna tear up again, and I couldn't sit and watch anymore. I stood up and walked right in front of her, not daring to ask for a hug, but hoping she'll get the message with arm gestures. It took her a bit, but when she did, she couldn't help but yell something that I would translate to: "[Specs] is jumping me!". The word she used here is something usually used in a romantic or flirty context. (Translation was never my forte.) You can probably imagine the laughter, and also my face as I realise that not even on her last day could she go without sassing me at least once.
But then. Oh, then. The next thing I hear as I turn towards her is as she says: "C'mere, Little Me." and before I know it, I find myself sobbing in her arms again, and thinking about how this happened. She seemed taken aback by or uncomfortable with the comparison the last time we spoke about it in March, before the quarantine. When did she accept it, or how? Now as I re-read that post, as I'm writing this one... could the turning point have been me calling her my sister? I had so many questions, but all I could do was cry.
Class was nearing the end when I finally managed to stop sobbing and ask her one thing I've been meaning to for ages: what her tattoos mean. "How much should I go into detail?" she asked with sparkling eyes. She wasn't even surprised I knew about the two on her shoulder blades — but I was, when she motioned with her fingers she actually had three. Before telling me about them, she jokingly said something along the lines of "I'm not gonna strip for you" (as all 3 are covered by clothes), and me being me, I immediately threw my hands up, face probably red, and said: "Nononononono, obviously [not]!"
Funny thing is, the two on her shoulder blades are actually quotes from the last book she had us read, the last thing we discussed with her in class on Wednesday. So this is what she meant when she said she had personal connections to it! After she told me which parts they're from, she jokingly added "Very English teacher [of me]...", to which I just laughed and responded "Yeah, very."
By the time I'm writing this, I already had to listen to the headmaster, one of V's replacements, as he bragged about knowing of these two tattoos. Heh. That's cute. It's still 2-1 to me, sir. Not only have I seen them partially before, which you said you haven't, but I also know about the one she most definitely never told you about. And the one I'm most definitely not gonna tell you guys about. Sorry. Some things just have to stay between V and I.
"Also, no one noticed that this is the first time since I came here that I've worn a band T-shirt!" she complains to me jokingly. "Well, I was used to your graphic shirts, so I didn't think much of it," I reply. She's very enthusiastic in telling me what exactly is on it, without me even asking. This woman put on a shirt that essentially disses Christianity — in a religious school. Unbelievable. I love her.
Somewhere around that time, I asked her to let me walk with her to the teacher's lounge, Bookworm Friend convinced her to take a photo with our squad (which had basically everyone I know, my own father included, telling me we look identical), I stroked her arm again (I no longer remember what the reason was, but she still must've felt it pretty natural, seeing she didn't react), and like 3/4 of the class came to hug V goodbye. Meanwhile, another girl I've been classmates with for ages, but never particularly liked, hugged me to try and comfort me. It caught me off-guard, but I've never felt more like our class is a community.
People from other classes came to talk as she walked outside, but I waited until she was alone, and most probably so was she. She promised, likely knowing that I wanted to talk privately, so we didn't leave until it was just the two of us left.
"Come, Little Me," she said again, as we got going. She liked this phrase so much that she repeated it in English. "Mini Me." Then I found out why the English. Turns out, her native English speaker boyfriend, who she name-dropped like it's second nature, as if she's telling a story to a friend (she's so whipped for him, it's adorable), knows all about this comparison, and had a good laugh at it. He knows who I am. I was important enough to mention at home to her boyfriend, something I always wondered about but never dared to ask her. Tears.
No, really, actual tears. I've told you before, I don't support confessing love to your teachers while you're still their student (I'd wait a year after graduation if I were you), and especially if you're underage, and I myself wouldn't do it either. And I didn't. My confession was a little different. My voice breaking from tears, I told her the one thing I wanted her to know most. "This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I've never got more (in life) from anyone..." The answer? The old classic. "Come on."
"[Specs], you really need to get more self-confidence" she tells me, as that's about the only thing I still need to get me where I want to be. "I have to," I reply. And I do. I'm trying. Funny thing, self-confidence. It comes up in both the first and the last conversation we have as student and teacher.
We get up, stand at the top of the stairs. Soon it's time to go. The memories get a bit hazy here, but I'll try my best.
She tells me she expected me to react this way, and was afraid of it, seeing what happened in January. I immediately corrected her. In January, I cried because seeing my classmates hurting and my teachers clueless and lost hurt me, whereas this time, it's personal. She doesn't say anything. I think she understands. I ask her if she'll be happy in this new situation, and she says she hopes so. Only time will tell.
"I probably won't be available at a moment's notice all the time, but if you ever need me, you'll find me," she reassures me.
My English (language) teacher walks outside in that moment, and starts talking to V like I'm not even there. V and I are both a bit uncomfortable with the interruption, but the teacher seems pretty fine with it. Fucking hell, woman, insensitivity much?
Anyway. When she's gone is probably the moment we realise this is it. That this is where it's over.
She reaches out, both verbally and physically, and there we are, hugging again, both of us stroking the other's back in an effort to try and comfort the other. "You always have your friends," she tells me. "Get a good rest," she adds somewhere during that moment. Then we pull away.
I don't reach out, I don't dare to. As soon as I step out of her arms, it's her, who takes a hold of my hand. Not clinging, just a gentle, meaningful hold. I have no idea what she was saying, as I focused on the fact that we were only bloody holding hands in plain sight — and another thing.
V's eyes were red, and full of tears.
She hadn't shed a single tear for the past 20 minutes or so. Yet there she stands before me, physically still holding on to me, and crying. That was all me. And all of a sudden, I understand everything. I no longer have the guts to deny that she loved me all this time.
That's where it ends. No grandiose confessions, nothing loud, nothing overly passionate. Just a scene of two women standing hand-in-hand, showing their true colours and not holding anything back for the first time since they've met, before Miss V, the teacher, forever disappears behind a glass door.
These two women, mentioned above, are the ones who laid the foundation for two friends, two equals to meet anew. They are just getting to know each other all over again as we speak, setting the tone for something to start that could possibly last a long time. And I don't think there's anything that could feel better than that.
~ S ♡
[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]
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Some (20) of my Glee opinions
Just to make it clear, some of these will probably be unpopular and I am just putting them down here because I have no one to talk to about them. Also SPOILERS.
1. I don't like Finn. He can't sing, he can't dance, and wasn't very smart either. The amount of solos that he had in the entire series is astonishing because quite frankly, he sucked.
2. Seasons 4-6 was awful. I didn't like anything that happened during the New York parts and the new glee club members kind of ruined it. I only watch season 4 because of the Warblers.
3. Blaine should have stayed with the Warblers. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Klaine shipper most of the time but Blaine was just better with the Warblers. He has an amazing voice and with the Warblers it was recognized and used to its full potential. When he left to join McKinley he was pushed to the side for Finn who wasn't nearly as good as him.
4. About mid season three, Tina turned into an awful character. She became selfish, snobby, and all around too focused on getting solos that she already had.
5. I didn't like Marley. There was just something about her that ribbed me the wrong way no matter what she did ever since the beginning. I don't know if it was just my blatant dislike for Melissa Benoist or that she was just used as a parallel for Rachel. The first time we see her singing it's with Rachel. It just ruins the potentially great character that she could've been by comparing her to Rachel right off the bat.
6. I don't like Jake either. He sounds like a frog and his anger issues are frankly rather annoying. Puck is definitely the better half sibling.
7. Jesse St. James. I love him. I love him and Jonathan Groff. I get why people don't like him for smashing the egg on Rachel when she's a vegan because that's pretty big. But he never tried to change her. He respected her confidence and made sure she knew that she was good. You can't even call him cocky because he is just as good at singing as he says he is. I'm not calling him modest by any terms but what he did for Rachel at nationals just made him that much better. Telling the NYADA recruiter (can't remember her name right now) that she was good enough for the school without promoting himself was just such a good thing to do on his part.
8. Brittana. By far my favorite ship. It's deep enough with Brittany accepting that she was Bi-curious and Santana afraid to come out that she's Lesbian. They're so sweet together and it's just wholesome. And the fact that Santana called it off before they could cheat on each other unlike Klaine and Finchel says a lot about how much she cares about Brittany.
9. Klaine. After Kurt graduated their relationship turned toxic. They were both suffering and cheating and they just could've been so much better if they had decided to take a break like Brittana.
10. Brody. A lot of people don't like him because he's a sex worker. I know that a lot of people are uncomfortable with that and I understand. But he was good for Rachel. I don't like her by any means but she's a good singer and deserves to have the confidence to be comfortable in her own skin. Brody provided that for her. He made sure she knew she was sexy and amazing even if it was obvious. It wasn't fair that he was treated so harshly for being a sex worker. He didn't deserve that. Plus he can sing better than Finn too so that's a plus.
11. Santana. I love her. She's gorgeous, can sing, is nice to Brittany, and her personality (while being mean) is still loveable. Not to mention her style after taking off that Cheerios uniform. I mean dang girl.
12. Coach Sylvester. I actually liked her most of the time. While she did do some pretty horrible things she was a good person. To list a few good things she did: she helped Kurt with his bullying issue and genuinely cared about his safety, she was extremely nice to Becky and made sure she felt normal just like she did with her sister and her daughter.
13. Mike deserved more credit. He was a great dancer and grew to be a great singer as well. I also like him with Tina. They were great together and made each other better.
14. Quinn. I have mixed feeling son her. She did some awful things and was very manipulative but somehow still managed to be one of the only good members of the glee club.
15. I feel like Tina and Mike's voices got a lot better while Brittany's got worse. It's no secret that Brittany is a great dancer but she wasn't that good of a singer.
16. The whole Brittany being a genius thing was kind of stupid. I mean it just seemed like an excuse made in a rush to get her out of the show before her actress had the baby (I think that was the reason).
17. The Warblers. Oh don't get me started with them. I love them. They are all so talented and it's just amazing. And they can be seen doing amazing tricks that they could do during performances but they don't because they respect the tradition of the stool choir (at least in the 2nd and 3rd season).
18. Sebastian Smythe. I liked him. It may just be my love for Grant Gustin but his whole bad boy persona got to me. And the fact that when Karofsky tried committing suicide he realized he went too far and stopped. He was also an amazing singer, dancer, and really hot so that helped.
19. Rachel. OMG Rachel. I can't stand her. But I respect her talent. She was self centered, selfish, and a brat. She took advantage of everyone that she was with when she did the Run Joey Run video. That Christmas episode right before they graduated really showed how awful she was. Making that list of items for Finn to get her was awful. And she was totally ungrateful for the gift that he got her.
20. The New Directions. For a group who didn't have much funding their performances were awfully extravagant. And they weren't as good as they thought they were. Most of their performances were awful and they didn't deserve to win as many competitions that they did. The only good competition performance they had was when they won nationals in season 3.
I can't really think of anything else right now but if you have anything to say about any of these, I am always up for a good Glee discussion.
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Episode 30: The One where LWJ Wishes Jin Zixun Would STFU and Die Already
Okay, so we’re still in Yiling
Non-wangxiantics stuff happens
Unimportant nonsense happens
Ooooh, jc just appeared, looking awesome in purple robes as usual
Turns out he’s helped jyl sneak away so she can show off her wedding robes to wwx!!! And we get some wonderful Yunmeng Sib time!! I LOVE MY YUNMENG SIBS SO MUCH
OMG
Wwx’s face when he sees her in her wedding robes
HIS EYES WELLED UP WITH TEARS. SHE LOOKS SO PRETTY.
Jyl: i’m getting married, i wanted to show you my wedding robes!
wwx:*choked up* yeah, i heard you were getting married…(he’s looks so emotional here omg)
Jc: who told you?!
(he says this all snappishly bc of course he does, this is jc we’re talking about)
Wwx: None of your business! *scowls*
LOL SO DEFENSIVE, WWX. what’s the matter?? You don’t want to tell your sibs about your recent date with lwj?? How you showed him your home??? hoW YOU DISCOVERED YOU WANTED TO CO-DAD CHILDREN WITH HIM????
Ah, brothers…
Jyl calms them down before they could get too into it tho bc she’s a good big sister and knows her little brothers well
Jyl: i came alone tho, so you can’t see the groom today
Wwx: *pouts* i don’t want to see the groom at all
I can’t get over the way wwx keeps looking at her. HE LOVES HIS SISTER SO MUCH. HE’S SO HAPPY FOR HER
Lol, both of them tell her how beautiful she looks and she’s all it doesn’t count when you guys say it bc you’re my little brothers and it’s my wedding so you have to be nice to me
So now we get the obligatory soup time with the yunmeng sibs
And AHHHHHH, JYL JUST ASKED WWX TO COME UP WITH A COURTESY NAME
And wwx is all, “for who???”
And jc says, for my future nephew!! And he looks so damn pleased and proud when he says it. JC WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE SO BAD me too jc, me too
Wwx: hmmm, well, the next generation for the jin clan is “ru” so how about jin rulan?
Jc: jin rulan? It sounds like the lan clan. Why should a kid of the jiang clan and jin clan be called “rulan”??
Omg jc sounds so offended here; chill out bro
Wwx: it’s not that bad if it’s from the lan clan all right? Lan means orchid, a gentry amongst flowers! ALSO MY SOULMATE IS FROM THE LAN CLAN SO THERE
Wwx sounded all sulky here, like RULAN IS A GREAT NAME, HOW DARE YOU
Jyl cuts in before there could be any bloodshed with, oh yeah, having you come up with the courtesy name was jc’s idea
The look jc gives her is one of utter betrayal like, why’d you have to go and tell him that? HE CAN’T KNOW I WAS BEING NICE TO HIM, GOD.
They all have much more sibling time together but since there’s no more wangxiantics we’re gonna skip over it (EVEN THO IT HURTS ME TO DO SO BC I LOVE MY YUNMENG SIBS AND I WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY AND TOGETHER FOREVER)
We cut to the Burial Mounds where there’s a Wen family dinner going on
Wwx is all spacey bc he misses his sibs so much but manages to distract EVERYONE from it by making grand declarations and generally being an over-the-top Drama Bi.
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS LET THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU LET THEM TRY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY STOP MAKING YOURSELF MISERABLE OMG
A-Yuan time!
Wen ning saved some of jyl’s soup to give to a-yuan!
He gives a-yuan a taste of the soup and a-yuan’s all “delicious! One more spoon!”
And after wen ning gives him more, he’s like, ONE MORE SPOON!
PRECIOUS, HE’S PRECIOUS AND SO CUTE
Then we get some Sad Times in the Demon-Subdue Palace where wwx has the saddest series of flashbacks ever
the promise he made to JC (twin heroes of yunmeng!!) that he didn’t keep
and then the oath on the lantern (always stand with justice and live without regrets) which he half-keeps
and then his declaration in the rain with lwj (if i should be killed, let it be by you) which he will keep BUT WE’RE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT
HE’S SO SADDDDDD
I’M SO SADDDDDDDDDDDDD
THERE’S SADNESS EVERYWHERE
Gross, now we’re in lanling, fastforwarding through that nonsense
Now we’re back at the burial mounds and get more A-YUAN TIME!!
Uh oh, a-yuan just murdered a lotus sprout
He’s all, what’s this?? And yanks the poor thing out of the mudpit it was growing in
Wwx yells at him: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And a-yuan starts crying and wwx looks like he wants to start bawling too
Wen qing kind of tells him off
a-yuan’s a little kid and doesn’t know better, she says
Wwx gets this defeated look about him and says it’s fine, i see that it’s not meant to be now
LIKE, HE’S JUST RESIGNED THAT HE CAN NEVER HAVE ANYTHING FROM HOME EVER AGAIN?
HE CAN’T EVEN HAVE ONE STUPID LOTUS PLANT BC OF COURSE HE CAN’T HE DOESN’T DESERVE IT
MY POOR PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY
After a little adorable convo with wen qing, a-yuan goes to comfort wwx in his cave
A-yuan: i’m sorry i made a mistake. Wq says if you miss your sister, you should go see her
Wwx: she’s so far away...i won’t go
A-yuan: hmmm, you should become a bird and fly over there!
AND THEN THEY PRETEND TO BE FLYING BIRDS AND IT’S SO CUTE
But wwx is still sad inside :(
Now we get a time skip!
~ONE YEAR LATER~
Wwx overhears a bunch of gossipy cultivators talking about how the jin clan is doing a one-month celebration of baby Jin Rulan!!
WWX IS OVERWHELMED WITH JOY
HIS EYES ARE ALL TEARY AGAIN
AND HE’S LIKE, DID YOU HEAR THAT WEN NING? MY SISTER HAD A BABY! I HAVE A NEPHEW!!
Wen Ning is a supportive bro so he’s all congratulations!!!
And then wwx gets all the happiness gets drained out of him when he remembers that he has no official ties to either clan so he’ll probably never get to see his nephew ever
We cut to Lanling, where i guess guests are arriving for the upcoming celebration
We don’t really care about any of these people
EXCEPT THAT ZEWU-JUN AND HANGUANG-JUN’S ARRIVAL IS ANNOUNCED
AND WE’RE GONNA LISTEN TO LWJ TALK ABOUT HIS BELOVED SOULMATE
Unfortunately he’s talking to asshole cousin jz, fuck that guy
Lwj: since all of his seniors are invited to the first-month celebration, wei ying should also be invited as he is the baby’s senior too
Lwj says this all respectfully, gaze steadily forward and not looking directly at anyone
Jz: you want us to invite wwx even tho he’s the enemy of all four clans??
JFC IF SOMEONE COULD’VE JUST KILLED THIS GUY WE COULD’VE AVOIDED AT LEAST A QUARTER OF THE PROBLEMS WE HAVE NOW
Lol, lwj glares at jz SO HARD the minute jz calls wwx the enemy; i’m surprised the asshole didn’t drop dead on the spot
Lwj: not an enemy.
Jz: not an enemy? Do you have such a shitty memory that you don’t remember what happened in qiongqi way? Do i need to remind you?
NO LWJ NEEDS YOU TO STFU
Also, HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HANGUANG-JUN THAT WAY??
Lxc: what wangji said isn’t wrong. Wwx hasn’t caused any trouble since he took off to the burial mounds.
Jz: what, you’re taking the traitor’s side too zewu-jun?
You know, i was almost proud of lxc for finally siding with wwx and lwj
But the minute jz throws that accusation, you can see him start to pull back, WTF LXC
So now, since apparently having to deal with JZ wasn’t horrible enough, we get jgs and jgy on the scene, yuck
Jz gives them a summary of the conversation
Oh, i forgot to mention jzx has been here the whole time too but he’s basically useless bc he never shuts up his cousin
Jgy is all like, ah, hanguang-jun is being kind but perhaps inviting wwx is not the best idea ever
And jz is all well, I heard that he went to the burial mounds but no one knows why he went there!
Lwj: to visit an old friend
LWJ IS NOT ASHAMED OF VISITING WWX. HE DOESN’T CARE IF THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS HE WENT THERE TO VISIT HIS SOULMATE
Jz: an old friend?! Wwx is a ruthless killer! Everyone wants him dead! Why do you have a friend like him?
I HATE THIS GUY SO MUCH
Lwj: when did he kill ruthlessly? Please tell us exactly.
DAAAMMN, LOOK AT MY BOY GO!
Jzx finally cuts in here and shuts them both up
He approaches his dad and is like, yeah okay so wwx killed some of our guys before and he’s kind of rebellious or whatever but like hanguang-jun said, he hasn’t done anything wrong for a whole year!
Then he goes on to show us that he’s completely whipped for his wife (AS HE SHOULD BE) by saying, also, since wwx has seceded from the jiang clan, jyl hasn’t been able to see him and she still misses him very much!!
Jzx: it’s a good opportunity to bring him back
His asshole cousin is all, are you crazy??
WILL THIS GUY EVER SHUT UP, OH MY GOD.
But thankfully lxc puts in his two cents!
Lxc: jzx makes a good point. If wwx intends to change and return to the right path again, it’s a good thing!
Jgs starts droning on and on about stuff i don’t give a damn about and lwj throws him the dirtiest of looks the whole time lol
But he more or less agrees to let wwx come on the condition that he turns in Plot Device 2
And jgy is like, SWEET, we can write him a letter telling him he’s invited but he must come alone (BC THAT AIN’T SKETCHY AF) and then once he’s here we can tactfully request he give me, i mean, the jin clan Plot Device 2
Lwj was looking concerned basically the minute jgy started talking but here he chimes in
Lwj: what will you do if he refuses?
BC HE KNOWS WWX IS NOT GONNA HAND THAT THING OVER TO THE JIN CLAN BC THEY’RE A BUNCH OF SLIMY SKEEVY BASTARDS
Then jgy does that thing where he replies without actually answering the question
Jgy: hanguang-jun, why are you so pessimistic? Wwx is not evil or vicious! (FUCK YOU JGY, WE ALREADY KNOW HE’S NOT EVIL OR VICIOUS, NO THANKS TO YOU) i’m sure if we talk it out, he’ll be reasonable and make the right choice!
Oh, thankfully, lxc answers the question properly
Lxc: even if wwx disagrees, he can go back to the burial mounds as long as he promises not to kill any innocents
Which, wwx would definitely promise that bc he’s never killed an innocent person IN HIS LIFE
BC UNLIKE THE JIN CLAN BASTARDS HE HAS INTEGRITY AND A FULLY FUNCTIONING CONSCIENCE
Jgy: hanguang-jun, can we bother you with the errand of writing the letter?
LOL
Jgy says that and we immediately see lxc smile at his little brother
Like, heck yeah, bro you have the chance to talk to your soulmate now! (LXC is trying to win back his greatest wingman title lol)
Ofc lwj keeps his face blank, but he bows and says yes
BC HECK YEAH HE GETS TO DELIVER GOOD NEWS TO HIS SOULMATE
HE’LL BE ABLE TO MAKE WWX SMILE
OFC HE’S GONNA BE ALL OVER THAT!
And that’s the last of the wangxiantics for this episode. Not a lot of them this time around, and none with shared screen time
But you know what
That’s okay
Bc this shows that they’re always on each other’s minds EVEN AFTER A WHOLE YEAR APART!!
Return to Masterpost
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Bloons
Honestly the entire Bloons series has been some of my favorite flash/other-than-flash games out there, and I feel like it’s worth bringing it up since I just crossed the 365 day threshold for BTD6. Maybe in the past, but nowadays I definitely don’t feel like I ever play a game daily for a year straight. Chances are it was a little desperate when I first started playing, but as of now literally every single day I open the game up and play the daily challenge just for the sake of it. Plus, since the chest technically resets every 9 hours or so instead of 24, I could’ve cheesed it a bit, but I didn’t. That’s a pure 365 days of playing the game.
And even apart from that, the entire Bloons series has been in my mind since the first one and my middle/elementary school Coolmath Games days. Even though the puzzle, pure form of Bloons wasn’t as much in my interest, the staying power of the Tower Defense version is crazy. Flash Tower Defense games are plenty, and yet the one with the stupid monkeys throwing darts at balloons was the best.
I went back semi-recently and played a round of each BTD, and I gotta say, it was fun seeing where everything came from. 1 is absolute garbage, forcing you to just spam Super Monkeys if you want to get anywhere, but a good starting point obviously. I honestly know nothing about the people creating these games, but obviously it wasn’t made by a AAA crew, so you can’t expect everything to be put in place in the first iteration. 2 and 3 feel much better, but obviously not much after being so used to the modern stuff, and 4 and 5 are the ones that really shine the most, apart from 6 obviously.
I definitely was one of the types of people who initially reacted poorly to the artstyle change of 5 and 6, but I’ve definitely turned over. I don’t know if the whole BTD community rioted at that point, but I at least was like “ew, they’re cute now” when I first saw it. Thankfully I turned over, and realized the current designs are the absolute best out of the entire franchise. Also, I love their cuteness, as I love cuteness in general, so basically just call it character growth. Even though 2D art always is more interesting for games than 3D in general, the entire art direction of 6 is genuinely really good, being so bright and cartoony (at least before the fifth stages of upgrades) really fits the cartoony idea of monkeys popping bloons. 5, and the entire franchise before it, really is proof enough how horrible a pure top-down perspective is. On the title screen, you can see what the monkeys are supposed to look like, but in-game they literally look like weird blobby scorpions. Even though in the back of my mind I knew what they were supposed to look like, the pure top-down perspective completely ruined the image. Not to mention the OG designs for the monkeys was really weird and bad anyway. Even if you wanted a goofy fat kind of monkey, there are a million better ways to achieve that than how it used to be. Again, of course, they weren’t exactly AAA game-level quality, so you can’t expect such perfect character design.
But, oh my god. One of the things about this game that must’ve kept me through 6 was the character designs. If you know anything about me, it’s that I love a good character design, and 6 is full of them. It’s so interesting to see how they extrapolate the main concepts of each tower into their three different paths. The generic Superman-based monkey can turn into a Batman-based monkey, a Terminator-based monkey, and a fucking ancient god of the sun. The seemingly chill Druid can smite people with the power of Zeus, become the much more expected forest-based type, but also turn into this completely out-there being of pure wrath. I could go on and on about that, but needless to say for so many of them look and are designed so great. I think the tower with the coolest level 5s of the game is the Ninja. It’s hard to explain, but they all just look really cool while also not deviating too much from the cartoony-cute art style. I think my all-time favorite level 5 is the top path of the Wizard, mostly just because he looks really cool, but also because the parts of the path before it show him aging and growing out his beard. I also have to say the 2-0-3/4 Wizard also looks exactly my style, with the dark purply-ness and gold rims. Also, if you haven’t noticed, the Magic monkeys are my favorite type, and not just because their signature color is purple. That’s part of it though. Magic is also just cool in general. My main RPG-class of choice is almost always a mage/wizard.
Also, the heroes are also really fun. As someone who often creates species of aliens/monsters, I always feel like I want to create a dedicated character out of them no matter what, so I feel like the heroes are basically just that. And, of course they have good designs too, and of course as you can probably guess my favorite is Adora, basically being the same thing as the 5-0-0 Wizard with the Sun God aesthetic. Since she has her own stage and a special interaction with the True Sun God/Vengeful Monkey, I think she’s a pretty big deal anyway. I will say that I highly slept on Gwen, but then for Easter they gave her the Harlegwen skin and I fell in love. It’s insanely good stuff. Apart from looks, it does feel nice to have some sort of interchangeable tower that you basically just place and forget about, aside from using their powers. Plus, it makes a really easy type of thing to periodically add to the game to keep things fresh, even with the skins in general. It definitely is much better than the stuff they had in 5, where you had to use Monkey Money to buy each one, and you could only use them once per stage. Obviously 6 has the extra powers to help you out, but they feel much more optional and cheaper than the heroes of 5. Since I barely buy anything with Monkey Money to begin with, and since I’ve obviously had 365 chest openings, and AND since I barely use them to begin with, I’m completely stocked up. I only ever use the farmer and sometimes the tech bot if I get lazy. I did use the portable lake I got from my 365th chest opening after I got it, just for the sake of celebration. That’s literally how my mind goes.
6 does have the slight tinge of a mobile game artstyle, but in this case it’s really just better. I’m not into mobile games, and especially not the generic artstyle they have, but it is really pleasing to look at anyway. It did chase me off before I converted, though. That, and the fact you had to buy it now. Like a true gamer, I was put off by the fact that something that was once expected to be free now has to be paid for. But, then, I realized that the entire franchise has provided much more than 10$ worth of entertainment to me throughout time, so it was extremely fair to pay that. It is still kinda weird how 5 has to be paid for for mobile, when it is just free online, though. However, unlike a true gamer I think the microtransactions of the game are extremely fair. Considering they just give you things that you don’t need, and can get for free otherwise, I think it’s completely fine to have them. It sounds bad on the surface to have to pay for the game and have there still be microtransactions in it, but since they’re completely optional there’s no good reason to hate it. I think people assume that means that you have to pay for the game, and pay extra for different major parts of the game, and that sours their opinion on everything. Gamers are a strange, irrationally angry breed. I do hate using my phone for pretty much anything, though, so once I bought 6 on Steam I haven’t played it on my phone since. It’s just so much better in every single way...
I bought the game around the time of one of my family’s semi-annual trips to England because I thought it’d help when we were traveling between wi-fi spots, and it really did wonders for me then. Probably looked like some asshole teen to strangers who don’t know I barely ever use my phone for anything, since I was playing it so much. My sister even saw me playing it and bought it for herself, although I don’t know how much she’s played since then.
For the sake of stats, I have 235 hours played of it on Steam alone, and in game I’m level 115. My most complete map is Monkey Meadow with all medals except CHIMPS, which I put the effort in because it’s the default map, and definitely not because it’s an easy/good map because it’s just kinda bad compared to so many other ones. My Dart monkey has a total of 4 million XP, and the only towers that haven’t crossed a million are the Ice, Heli, Alchemist, Druid, and Spike factory monkeys/tower. I think the farthest I’ve actually gotten round-wise is 200 once or twice, but I don’t remember if I’ve actually beaten that level and continued on or lost there. I think I might’ve gotten past it once, but just sort of lost interest in micro-managing my powers and let myself lose. I probably got there once after that and lost on it. As someone who didn’t look up the optimal strategies for things until very recently, I think that’s pretty good. It definitely feels like the kind of game where if you know the best strategies, you can literally just replicate that over and over and win really easily, but that just sounds kinda boring. Since I pretty much only do daily challenges nowadays, it forces me to use a limited amount of towers, so I either go much farther because it forces me to build up less towers more, or it makes sure I can’t even pass round 90 because it just was made to get you to round 40 and that’s it. When I have the full range of towers to use, I feel like I try to get the instant satisfaction of getting a new tower to increase DPS instead of making the few towers I have/need reach their full potential, which seems to be the better option. I also don’t really sell anything when I don’t have a limited number of monkeys to place, which I think is also a good strategy if you can eliminate the major money loss in it, since it can give you a massive boost in cash to get you the better upgrades quicker. I may or may not try to learn the strategies to wipe the rest of the game clean eventually, but right now I’m fine with just doing the dailies.
But yeah, that’s like the whole thing with Bloons Tower Defense and me. Something something reject modernity, embrace monke, or whatever the kids these days are saying.
I will say that if I didn’t have so many OCs to work with and could just pump out animated shorts on the reg, I’d love to do some sort of Bloons shorts. They’d all lean into the ridiculousness of it all. Like, the first one could do the 2001 thing with the monkeys learning to use sticks, and as the main one is bashing the ground with one or whatever and throws it up, an ancient, leathery patchwork bloon flies overhead and accidentally bumps the stick such that it lands back on the main monkey’s head, knocking him out. Cue the monkeys around him to go berserk and start throwing other sticks at the ancient bloon, and once they pop it using a sharp stick, they realize what they must do. Cue a long montage of the different stages of war and invention using the monkeys finding better ways to fend off the bloons, with the whole idea being that the monkeys are getting irrationally angry at the bloons, who are just sort of around and not actually sentient, even though they assume they’re malicious because of their history and upbringing. Absolutely no political message in there whatsoever. Just comedy.
Other short ideas could include, for the start of the modern time story, it could be the backstory of some sort of chiseled veteran main character, which would involve a bloon floating into his town, and from the people’s panic someone knocks over a lamp post that sets his town ablaze, only for him and his people to blame the carnage on the bloon, causing his classic edgy character motives for fighting against the bloons. Another, much more golden idea, would be an interrogation scene, where a bunch of monkeys capture a bunch of bloons for interrogation purposes. They’d obviously do the whole “Silent treatment, eh? Well, we have ways of making you talk...” thing, except the “way to make them talk” is to strap them to a wall with one dart guy on one side to systematically pop them to try and extract info. But, of course, it would look and play out exactly like the classic Bloons puzzle game. That’d be the fun part. If not that, then it could be like the classic carnival game that likely inspired the idea of using darts to pop balloons. I really just think this weird world of monkeys and bloons is perfect for some good comedic content. Watching the monkeys severely overreact to the bloons sounds extremely fun, and I’d love to see someone do something with it some day.
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