he’s god. he’s a millenial. he resurrected an entire solar system. he eats peanuts in meetings. he started a nuclear war. he’s 10,000 years old. he makes none pizza with left beef jokes. he’s a slut. he killed and then anthropomorphized the earth to look like Barbie. he has threesomes with his besties who want to kill him. he’s a deadbeat dad. he listened to evanescence. he locked his ex up in a block of ice in an unbreakable tomb on pluto because his friends didnt like her. he hated billionaires. he wanted to adopt a psychotic bone nun who lobotomized herself. he likes tea and biscuits. he controlled the body of the dead US president. he’s from new zealand. he wears baby fingers around his head. his name is john of all fucking things. he killed the whole solar system. he was a tumblrina. his only comment on destroying melbourne was “shame about the tram service”.