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#also ive gone from like reading three books at once to one book at a time i cant read more than one now its so funny
ladyhindsight · 9 months
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After letting this book stew in the back of my mind a couple days, I've come to add some more points that I was thinking about after I first managed to unload most of my thoughts.
i. In one of the many examples of characters telling each other how much they've changed, Thomas tells Alastair that Alastair is not the same he was before. That Alastair wouldn't have rushed to help Thomas when he was arrested. Wouldn’t have followed Thomas the first place and to make sure he was safe. The person Alastair used to be wouldn’t have looked after Matthew and wouldn’t be reading book after book about paladins to try to help his sister. The first two, three points I can agree on, but that last part. Either Thomas knows nothing about Alastair and Cordelia's relationship, or the writing knows nothing about Alastair who did his everything so Cordelia had happy childhood with a loving father without the darkness behind it all. Seriously.
ii. In the end, it is told that Anna and Ari are looking to adopt kid(s) because there are many Nephilim orphans. Thomas and Alastair talk how they will never get to have kids, but it is never addressed why they couldn't adopt also.
iii. Jesse trains vigorously in order to build up strength, James is looking to train with someone else than Matthew. Why do we never see any adult Shadowhunters train in the series? As if they do not need to maintain and preserve their skills and strength.
iv. James and Alastair never conclude their feud or arrive to a truce.
v. James and Grace never arrive to any conclusion either with each other.
vi. James' story was so tied to Cordelia, Matthew, and Belial that all the other conflicts that were previously introduced weren't properly concluded. Just because James tells Cordelia he isn't angry and no longer cares or thinks about that stuff, in the narrative sense they still remain open with the characters he does not even interact with.
vii. Additionally to the Lightwoods not getting to grieve their children: When Gideon and Sophie appeared at the Iron Tombs, the writing didn't acknowledge them any more than making them present. No reaction, no emotion, nothing that even remotely touched the fact that their nephew had just died by Tatiana, that Gabriel and Cecily have now gone through the same incredibly awful loss as they had right before.
viii. There is similar passiveness in the narrative seen in Queen of Air and Darkness: When Robert has died, Alec rises from beside Robert's body and basically throws himself at Magnus, but Magnus isn't a participant in the action/has no reaction (for instance, doesn't hold Alec or embrace him back). When Isabelle cries because of Robert's death, she is sitting on a couch with Alec and is clinging to him and sobbing against his shoulder, but Alec, like Magnus in that scene mentioned above, isn't written doing anything. His lack of action (for instance, holding his arms around Isabelle or consoling her) just gives the image of him passively sitting there while Isabelle cries her heart out. Similarly Gabriel does have no reaction to Alex's kidnapping, he just holds Cecily who does. But then Cecily or Gabriel aren't allowed to have reaction to Kit actually dying.
ix. Cecily's absence in the final battle could be read as that she remained in Idris because of Alexander (and Kit's death), but having no mention of her or how she is fairing in the rest of the book is just insanely callous.
x. Lucie's secret about the ghosts in their parabatai ceremony rehearsal came out of nowhere since Lucie never really did show any apprehension for any reason becoming parabatai with Cordelia?
xi. The characters are once again attracted to each other's appearance.
xii. Anna's "slim curves" being a constant aspect told about her looks.
xiii. Why is that the Herondale kids (excluding the other part of the pair) are the only ones to have parabatai? It's so strange that such concept as parabatai is "rare" among the Nephilim when they could just benefit greatly from warrior partners who can draw strength from one another, draw stronger runes on one another, and just in general be stronger in battles.
xiv. Thomas is constantly comparing himself to James and Matthew (and no one else) :/ Wonder why...
xv. What meaningful thing did Matthew's character actually do as to the plot in this book? He had no integral part other than being James' voice after James is being possessed by Belial.
xvi. Why was the Blackthorn sword such a huge deal anyway? Wasn't there suppose to be a name for it?
xvii. Jesse's "stolen" runes are never addressed again, neither whether he got them stripped. Which either way raises the question of whether Shadowhunters stripped from their runes (which is told to be a painful procedure) and send into exile could have then reapplied just as well? Could someone like Edmund Herondale who was stripped of his Marks technically become a Shadowhunter once more?
xviii. Why were Lucie's and James' respective powers tied to Belial himself? Belial had no use for Lucie and says as such that he holds no interest over her. Why there is no actual consequence of having 1/4 of Greater Demon blood since their powers disappeared with Belial?
xix. Similarly to Gabriel and Cecily, Kit and Grace had more authentic build-up to a possible relationship whereas all the others were incredibly fabricated and contrived.
xx. There was an illustration (collector's first edition) of Cordelia holding the ice sword. It was supposed to be a tease for the readers waiting for the publication of the book, but then it was just one scene and didn't even really matter even though Cordelia slew Tatiana in Lilith's name.
xxi. Jesse berates and blames Grace for having a choice and making the wrong one as to the whole bracelet mess, but what would've become of Grace had she refused? This is never thought of or addressed by anyone, the least by Jesse. No one but Kit was interested in Grace's victimhood and healing.
xxii. Jesse and Grace's relationship is just left unaddressed the rest of the book (Aside that everyone is looking for James to know how to feel their independent feelings and ganging up on her) after Jesse gets mad at her. They become closer once more towards the end but the writing still rather leaves all things unsaid, so unconcluded.
xxiii. Alastair doesn't bond with anyone else than Thomas. Everyone is doing their missions with their romantic partners because that's how things always go in this series. Why care about mixing things up a bit and have different character interactions?
xxiv. Things that disappeared from previous installment: Ari's wish to befriend Grace, Grace's secret about Tatiana wanting her to seduce Jesse, the rumor/supposition/fact that Grace was bought by Tatiana.
xxv. James barely, if at all, grieves Kit or acknowledges his passing. Cordelia is the same. Matthew does a few times. Thomas was the only one to carry Kit's death with him to the end. It was absurd how quickly Kit's death was brushed aside. He didn't even get a funeral nor even as little as a mention of such.
xxvi. Kit and Grace would've become revolutionary inventors in the Shadowhunter spheres but that would've been too powerful, I guess. (Also great how the only big character described as not conventionally attractive dies??)
xxvii. James and Cordelia's relationship leans heavily on previously established feelings and lacks substance and chemistry, just words and physical desire.
xxviii. If Cordelia's bond with Lilith is ended the moment Belial dies by her blade, then how was she able to heal James with paladin sword?
xxix. Do all the protagonist need to go dimension-hopping as if not to be lesser than the previous ones? No matter, the TMI gang still holds the crown since they've been to Edom and Diyu. TID zero.
xxx. I'm assuming Clare thought it was better that Alec descended from Alex (just assuming since I don't yet know what the "real" family tree looks like), probably also because Kit and Grace don't have the HERONDALE HAIR and obviously their children possibly couldn't.
xxxi. All the unnecessary things in this book greatly outweigh the necessary ones. I don't see any re-read value in any of this. And I still don't know what the series name refers to.
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suffarustuffaru · 6 months
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hello. im back because im on my playlist kick and found yet another older rezero playlist of mine and then fixed it up. im very normal about amnesiabaru and gluttony if (lying through my teeth) :3
anyway. this is also in narrative order from roughly the start of the amnesiabaru arc all the way to roughly the start of gluttony if. ever wanted to have a music playlist about the transition from amnesiabaru to gluttonybaru? now you got it 👍
notes under the cut.
the three songs with jp titles are called (in order of appearance on the playlist) "donut hole", "patchwork staccato", and "nonsense speaker" in english. i highly recommend reading the english translated lyrics for these (the nonsense speaker cover i used IS in english though on this playlist) if you arent a jp speaker bc theyre very good songs and i think they fit. plus ive actually seen patchwork staccato used for gluttony if animatics haah (and. you know. the Title is very. very good.)
a lot of the songs i chose have very nice references to gluttony if related things... not just in song title either haah and a lot of these song choices were me half-joking but like. ok i had a jekyll and hyde phase and im still quite fond of that story ok. i can use as many jekyll and hyde songs as i like. and i think its really funny using them for a gluttony if playlist 😭 tokyo ghoul and frankenstein songs too... THEY FIT THOUGH I PROMISE. and "people watching".... yeah subarus about to do some people watching alright. i am probably so foul for these song choices but i stand by it 😭
i used donut hole as the intro song for Reasons (see the lyrics) and also rabbit heart by florence bc. ok i know i keep using florence songs but hear me out. rabbit heart on this playlist represents amnesiabaru popping into existence and being happy with being isekaied (he is about to get his shit rocked)
anyway other important songs include:
world has gone insane: ngl this song slaps so hard i dont care what anyone else says. it changed my brain chemistry hearing it years ago. its very good. i highly recommend this song over all other songs on this list. and also this song in this playlist marks amnesiabaru officially dying and getting his shit rocked <3 the world HAS gone insane!!
papers: continuation of amnesiabaru getting his shit rocked.
class of 2013: i. i think its very clear why this song is here once you listen to it 😭
lifeboat: subaru gets more paranoid 👍
empty pages: books.
a sadness runs through him + i need to know: the official transition into gluttony if....
one of us + nonsense speaker: they are the finale songs to show the sad sad tragedy that is gluttony if 👍
i have very in depth thoughts on gluttony if but ive spent all my brain cells writing selfcest fic and making this music playlist LMAO but yes this playlist reveals some more of my interpretations on gluttony if. maybe one day i will actually make analysis posts on it.
anyway if you read all this thank you for indulging me!!!! :o
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wcndrlnds · 11 months
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ALICE KANG ? the TWENTY SIX year old is the COUNTESS of WARWICK, how exciting to see them this season! rumors have it they are IMAGINATIVE and AFFECTIONATE, but i’ve heard they are QUIET and FOOLISH as well — maybe that’s why they’ve been called the DREAMER. I have even heard that SHE CAUSED THE FIRE THAT TOOK HER FAMILY — only time will tell.
STORY.
I. eldest of three by the time she gets to see her fifth year, the kangs couldn't have wished for better daughters. couldn't have wished for a better family to raise in one of the few estates to their name. II. alice had always been keen to the arts for as long as she could reach the height of three apples. her mother had a voice of velvet, and the count couldn't get enough of the latest byron and poets. not that she would understand much of it in her young age, but recitations were frequent, and thus her brilliant mind put to a pedestal as she could read earlier than most child. III. passion would be putting it lightly, and count kang knew what he had to get started so his oldest could follow into her hobbies as she grew. IV. renovations lasted longer than the finished addition could ever live. for months of works to carve shelves in the finest of woods and acquiring the rarest of books would all go in vain a few weeks after the completion. V. FIRE, DEATH TW. no one knows for sure what happened. only that so the blaze could be seen from the village, smoke thick of wood and paper making for an impossible thing to avoid. was it the british mixed feline that knocked over a candle ? of the fireplace ill placed in the heart of the library going wild ? a misplaced pipe still carrying ambers ? nothing is known of the cause, solely the outcome. alice covered in sot and cuts from the shattered glass that flew out windows after windows in the inferno. VI. all but seven years young, and she's found herself with no estate, no parents, no siblings. only an inheritance that couldn't be clearer : title and every assets passed down to the eldest child, no matter the age. not that any uncles or aunts could try to claim it, for none were in sight to hear of the tragic event. VII. thankfully, or fatefully, the cholmondeleys whomst had always been close and dear to the kangs, couldn't let the poor orphan in the streets. taking her under their wings, she's had the fortunate honor to grow up alongside people she could never call family, guilt ridden mind wouldn't allow such a claim, but they've treated her like nothing less. VIII. unwillingly, though never complainingly, learning how to take care of duties that are far beyond her expertise and interests, as well as trying to navigate a society that whispers about her tragedy like it happened all but yesterday. twenty years anniversary of the event is near, and never once has it stopped plaguing mind uncontained.
QUICK FACTS.
she was a pretty lively kid before the whole fire rip !!
has grown quite... quiet since. never lost her good manners, but is losing herself hiding behind being proper ever since being introduced into society.
her mind is still running rampant with ideas and imagination from all the books she read and will keep reading. loves to evade in stories, as those are some rare times where she is allowed an escape from her reality.
which makes her also quite foolish and naive !! forgets sometimes where the line is between reality and fantasy, it is easy to make her believe in anything. that is only because she wants to believe, too.
extremely soft spoken to the point that sometimes she cannot be heard. would much rather be unfound in a corner of a ballroom than in the middle of the dance.
seasons have come and gone and while she has had her share of courtships, none seemed to ever stick. either from her mind spacing in the middle of a conversation or the rumors surrounding her, it always seems enough to drive everyone away.
much much MUCH more comfortable with people that took time to stick with her. she isn't hard to approach, kind and warm in all the right ways, but she is hard to understand. a handful of people do, and she understands them right back. meaning she'll be in their corners and cling to them no manner what, fear of seeing them vanish from her reach if she doesn't.
WANTED CONNECTIONS.
a little tired to come up with specifics </3. but honestly anything that you can think of !! slide in my dms or ims or literally simply tag me in anything and i will respond and go off any kind of vibes !! friends, not so friends, influences gone good or bad, another lady to kiss in secret, anyone to indulge in her imagination, someone she gives her trust to a little too rapidly, make a fool out of her, and so much more truly anything goes !!
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raineadey · 1 year
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ooooooo you want to tell me abt uour oc sooo bad /nf
WAHJ TAHNK U THANK YOU OKAY SO. wow this is long. i divided this into three parts: backstory, main story ( crk episode 16 stuff ), and parfaedia ( what happens after the story, which actually has more in store but ill elaborate on that in another post )
BACKSTORY
once upon a time, blueberry pie cookie was looking through the wizards journals, until she came across the journal filled with the wizards trials and errors in creating moonlight cookie. it was her favorite book, the one that she read most often by the small moonlit corner.
having gone this far in her duties, blueberry pie thought a bit of company wouldnt hurt.
curiosity winning over herself, she uses the journal as a recipe book to bake her own cookie. thus, bo-berry cookie was born in the image of moonlight cookie (obviously nowhere as powerful though. shes just a cookie thats baked using the wizards recipe)
bo-berry cookie grew up between the high, never-ending bookshelves in the archives, reading anything that caught her interest to pass the time. she was like her mother in some ways — curious and hungry for knowledge.
but the library wasnt enough for her. she wanted to explore the city. though each time she asked her mother, "can i go play outside?" she would always say no.
"we have a promise to keep, a duty to uphold. there is nothing left for you in the city, bo-berry cookie."
(she also mentions those stars roaming the streets. shed turn to crumbs if any of them caught her)
ever since then, bo-berry practiced illusion magic behind her mothers back, attempting to make herself go undetected or even invisible. one day, her hard work and practice came to fruition, and she escaped the archives without her mother knowing — only to find that the city is completely empty of cookies.
she decided it was better than the archives, though. she explores the empty abandoned buildings, scavenging for any interesting magical artefacts to play with. its technically not stealing if the owner left it behind, right?
shes lonely. no one else to talk to or play with. her mother was right, this city has nothing for her. but perhaps somewhere out there..
MAIN STORY
she joins the main trio and saves them from the biggest golden star from the graveyard while invisible and undetected.
gingerbrave: that wasnt easy at ALL. huh, why do i feel like were being watched?
and as he said that, wizard cookies hat was floating in the air, followed by an air of laughter before revealing herself to her. she hasnt met anyone to interact with for a good while, so she got a liiittle excited.
her mood quickly turned sour when gingerbrave explains that theyre headed to the archives. but ahe agrees to show them the way. she told herself she wasnt going to go in, but once she sees the book worms attacking them, she groans ("i cant let you cookies pathetically crumble here on your mission 🙄") and helps them through to the library.
she knows whats coming. its inevitable that shes going to face her mom again. ( scene in this short video its like 14 secs )
once gingerbrave and co are done with what they came here for, she was about to leave with them when blueberry pie stopped her.
bbp: now, where do you think youre going? are you not staying here?
bb: mother, i cant stay here
bbp: are you leaving?
bb: [ a bit guilty ] i have to help my friends save the city
bbp: i see. [ just as bo-berry was about to leave again, ] bo-berry?
bb: [ stops ]
bbp: when i baked you, i should have known i couldn't keep you within these same walls ive been kept in my whole life. your curios soul knows no bounds, therefore i can not stop you from pursuing your life. [ quiet for a moment ] i love you, my child. i apologise for everything.
bo-berry merely gives her a smile and joins her friends outside.
another thing worth mentioning in this part is when stardust cookie destroyed the city of wizards. everyone was confused bc everything happened so fast, but upon mention of her mother still stuck in the archives, bo-berry immediately hopped on her staff and flew smartly between the falling stars to find her mother.
PARFAEDIA
after the events in the city of wizards episode, blueberry pie decided to let her daughter go. she cant keep her here for much longer, not when her place is out there in the world. so she sends her to parfaedia institute, where she can learn and grow as a magic enthusiast and a young cookie with other students her age.
she soon became friends with cream puff cookie and coffee bean cookie ( @deliberatingwthecookiecouncil's oc ! ). cream puff is an anxiety train, coffee bean is a sarcastic nerd, and bo-berry is a silly little menace. theyre perfect for each other.
such a strong desire for knowledge leads to bo-berry feeling like the structured education she receives in the institute is not enough. she craves for more magic in this world.
thus, she goes out of her dormitory at most nights to explore the magic city, knowing theres way more to this place. she uses her illusion magic to sneak in to houses, rummaging through their treasury for anything of use to her.
this soon becomes a thing she does at night, and more cookies seem to be aware of this mysterious thief. the m.e.h. department is also having trouble identifying the thief responsible for the disturbance. though, one cookie finally caught her in the act.
"hold on, you're not phantom bleu! but, no matter. i, detective walnut cookie, have caught you in the act, thief!"
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wickedjaime · 2 years
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Hello. I have recently re-read ASOIAF after taking a longer break from the fandom, mostly due to the way the blasted show ended. I feel like I’m in a much better mindset about it all now but I kind of want to hear what are other people’s thoughts on some of the things I’ve been wondering about regarding the show and the books. I hope you won't mind the three questions I'm about to send in.
Hey anon, sorry for the late reply. Thanks for trusting me and valuing my input, it's nice to hear from you. Hope you're still around! <3 Disclaimer that the whole mess with show Jaime (and Cersei, she was also done dirty)'s ending still really pisses me off, so prepare for a rant.
Anyway, here's my answers to your questions:
1) I know you think Jaime will have a different ending in the books and I feel the same. But if we assume that Jaime and Cersei dying together is something D&D got from GRRM (and assuming he hasn’t changed his mind about it), what do you think would be a way to get Jaime to that ending in a way that would make sense for his character and wouldn’t be a regression?
There's no way to have Jaime die with Cersei and NOT have it fuck up his story. Jaime's story is one of identity, where he reclaims the person he is when he is freed not only by the cage that working under Westeros' false knighthood put him in, but Cersei's abuse. And Jaime without Cersei isn't someone who will die just because his "other half" is gone, because Cersei ISN'T his other half, that's the entire point. Beyond appearance and surface level petty traits, the Lann twins are nothing alike, definitely not on a spiritual level enough for it to make sense for them to die at the same time. They are opposites in the ways that truly matter, and nothing would solidify that more if one dies while the other lives, or if their deaths are not connected in the slightest.
The notion that they will die together because they're the same person is rhetoric born of that twisted toxicity of their relationship, the narcissistic abuse Cersei has inflicted that's put them both under the delusion that Jaime only exists to be Cersei's mirror. Jaime believed this before the start of his character arc, in the early books when he was still in love with Cersei and hadn't "woken up" about who he wanted to be and about who Cersei really is.
I mean, look at the difference in how the twins talk about the concept of them dying together:
"The Boltons skin their enemies." Jaime remembered that much about the northman. Tyrion would have known all there was to know about the Lord of the Dreadfort, but Tyrion was a thousand leagues away, with Cersei. I cannot die while Cersei lives, he told himself. We will die together as we were born together.
—ASOS, Jaime IV
"My queen," said Qyburn, "have you . . . forgotten? Ser Jaime has no sword hand. If he should champion you and lose . . ."
We will leave this world together, as we once came into it. 
—AFFC, Cersei X
The context of these quotes are quite telling to how the twins see how the "shared lifeforce" works in terms of balance. In Jaime's quote, he is wary of Roose Bolton's wrath, but assures himself by reminding himself that whatever Roose does to him, he will survive it because Cersei being alive proves he's not fated to die yet. It's an incorrect, concerning, and disturbingly codependent notion, but ultimately a relatively selfless perspective on the concept.
Meanwhile with Cersei, Qyburn points out that asking Jaime to be her champion is literally asking him to kill himself. She would be sending him to his death for nothing. And Cersei's thought is pretty much "Yes, exactly."
With Jaime, it's "I cannot live without Cersei." With Cersei, it's "Jaime will not live without me."
Obviously, as of Feast, Jaime no longer believes his life is beholden to Cersei's, as he nonchalantly thinks that she might even be dead already, slaughtered by the Faith that he abandoned her to after he burned her letter. But Cersei still believes this because it benefits her and gives her the control her narcissism craves. In Feast, Cersei confirms that she wants Jaime to be her champion in her trial of combat, knowing that while he has no chance of winning due to his disability, he should still come and die with her because he is her twin, her property, her "shadow," as she literally called him in Feast, and therefore, must die with her, as he is just an extension of her, nothing more. She refuses to allow him to live while she is dead. She would control his life even in her last moments, taking him down with her out of spite and delusion about him existing only to fuel her narcissism. It would be absolutely fucked if her delusion and wishes actually comes to pass, where Jaime dies the moment Cersei does just because... what, Cersei said so? How does this tie with Jaime's journey of identity? That he dared to be his own person outside of just being his sister's shadow, and he was wrong to do so? Jaime dying with Cersei just says that Jaime was wrong to try to be his own person, that Cersei was right—that he is only her property, only her life and soul in another body, someone with no agency of his own, so without her, he has no reason to exist.
But Book Cersei is nearly wrong about everything. If Cersei said the sky was blue, it would turn green to spite her (or because it's lit ablaze with her wildfire that she sets on King's Landing... I believe she will burn King's Landing btw, not Dany lol).
If Jaime dies with Cersei because "they are two halves of the same whole and should leave the world together as they entered it", then his entire story is a waste of time, and needn't have happened. Just keep him in the role he was in book one, where he had no POV or arc, because that is the exact same death that would be fitting for his book one/pre Storm/arc self.
With that being said, to answer your question... I suppose there's only one way this premise could happen and it would be like, 95% fucked up instead of a full 100% fucked up: if Jaime kills Cersei to stop her from setting King's Landing ablaze, and dies from the wounds he got from Cersei defending herself against him (because hell yeah she's gonna fight him back, she's Cersei fucking Lannister and will go out like a boss, however she dies). At least then, it wouldn't be some nonsense of him choosing to die with Cersei like he did in the show, or the inane idea of him committing suicide after killing Cersei, as a lot of book readers believe. He would still die trying to be someone outside of Cersei's influence, not willingly being her puppet. Bonus points if his last word is Brienne's name or something. Lol. Still hate this idea though. I have no issues with the concept of Jaime dying, as long as it's in service to his arc and doesn't confirm Cersei was right this whole time. No. Cersei and Tywin have to continue to be wrong about stuff, thank you.
2) I think that D&D went completely rouge with the story but I also see Brienne/Jaime happening on the show as the ultimate confirmation that they’ll happen in the books. D&D are obsessed with twincest and changed the story to keep them together as long as possible. If book Jaime and Brienne were meant to be platonic, I don’t think they’d include them on the show. Obviously, their relationship will progress differently. What do you think their trajectory will be in the books?
Not to sound bitchy when I say this, but Braime happening in the show doesn't confirm that JB will be canon in the books—all of the foreshadowing for JB's romance in the books prove that all on their own. Though yes I agree that D&D wouldn't have even begrudgingly allowed Braime to be together for half a second if GRRM hadn't told them JB would be in love in the books. Their compromise was making it not "love" but a fling Larry did to keep his dick wet while he and Carol were on a break.
As for how I think JB will get together in the books, I've said it before I'm sure, but basically I think Brienne's betrayal on Jaime via Stoneheart will take a toll on them and cause strife, but also make them realize they need each other. Stoneheart is Brienne's Aerys in that just like Aerys she is the figure Brienne vowed to protect, but must kill for the greater good. Going through this will only make Brienne get closer to Jaime, and though Jaime will be angry over the betrayal, he will have empathy for Brienne over her situation with killing Stoneheart and mourning Cat.
Jaime will learn that Brienne literally would have died for him had it not been for Pod, and that will be a BIG deal for him because NO ONE has ever shown such a selfless love for him. He's always been the giver in all his relationships, so to finally be on the receiving end is vital. On Brienne's end, I believe Jaime, in his anger and hurt over Brienne's betrayal, will reveal Renly's secret cruelty to Brienne, that he had no love for her and purposefully manipulated her love/crush on him to trick her into dying for him. That will make Brienne think about who deserves her devotion and who doesn't.
3) I feel like I was so frustrated with the end of the show because it felt like it was going to be the only ending to this story that we were going to get. I’m still relatively hopeful about getting TWOW but pretty pessimistic about ADOS. I’ve seen some theories about how someone else could take over and finish the books if GRRM wouldn’t be able to do it himself but I’m not sure I would trust anyone else with it. Do you think we’ll ever get to read the end of the story?
No lmao. I go back and forth with believing we're getting Winds, but Dream will stay just that—a Dream. With GRRM playing the Hollywood and still working with HBO to make fanfic of his shit instead of working on the source material, it's just ain't happening. Would love if he proved me wrong but. Yeahhhh
That's about it, thanks again for your patience and indulging my salty clownery <3
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bookwyrminspiration · 4 months
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You are like a book character thats just. Yeah what did i expect from a name like that bnfjfjfjf
Yo on the reading tho!?? I feel the revitalized pjo interest im staring at my pjo books like. Soon soon i will get to u (THO IM MISSING A FEW OF THEM AND I DONT KNOW WHERE THEYVE GONE. THEYVE BEEN STOLEN I SWEAR) i actually have been trying to read actual books again and!!! I finished one finally!!! Only took me like a month bmgkfkfk i finished call down the hawk and my local library is ab to murder me for how long ive had it-
Dude okay so i work at a movie theater right and ive wanted to see boy and the heron so badly ive just been so busy im staring at it and like ten other movies like pls i need free time. Other than that i got baldurs gate 3 and have been wandering through a world download for a minecraft series i like. And im once again cursed by my inability to finish fics so my solution is write all of it then post and now i have like two 15k wips just sitting in my notes app ive been trying to finish for like two years T-T
I've read so many books I've started to become them, and honestly? There are worst fates. I think I'd make a good like...wise character. Like the one the main character goes to when they have a question and I pull on information I don't explain how I got and set them on their quest or something. Or they discover a cursed magic item and they're like, well Quil probably knows something useful. And then I do.
Anyway! Congrats on the reading! I actually did so much reading, writing, and drawing the past week that I gave myself a headache three days in a row. Like I legit had to just sit for an hour yesterday doing nothing. I've been meaning to read Call Down the Hawk since it came out--I actually started it back then, but for some reason I only got to the part right after the crabs(?) in the dorm where Ronan gets kicked out, and then cries(?) in the garden(?). But I fully intend to return to it, I love the world of trc. And Ronan's my favorite. so.
and the pjo thing!! i've been blasting through them at the rate of about one a day just like oh my god I forgot how much I loved these. the writing style is just so fun. currently half-way through mark of athena, but I had to stop because I do this thing every year where the first book I read is a twilight book for shits and giggles, so I gotta finish life and death before I go back to it (i'm already about 3/4ths of the way done so not a huge detour).
Oh right the boy and the heron! I forgot I mentioned that--I saw it yesterday! I'll admit it did contribute to my headache, because big bright screen in a dark room is...not great. my laptop gives me headaches sometimes, but anyway. I don't think it's my favorite ghibli film, but it had a draw to it. it's quite beautiful, and it's thought provoking in its way. very ghibli-esque.
bg3!! I haven't played myself (doesn't seem my kind of game), but I will admit I did have a few moments of just being enraptured by astarion. which is so cliche of me, but what can I say? his dialogue was funny.
good luck with all of your fics though--I've got a handful that are just waiting to be edited before I post them. but the wings au and then gift exchanges took precedent, so they've been sitting a while. but! those are over now! so I plan to edit and finally post them soon. I've also got this kotlc book 1 but from fitz's pov project in the works I'm very excited to return to :)
anyway, it is very nice to hear from you tater!! giving you the biggest high five rn o7 spicy gatorade or something
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hueningshaped · 2 years
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omg my ult ults me back????🥹🥹 i'm a successful fan😎 nope i will always find a way >:D you are so ☹️☹️ i have the first update already !! i have one (1) uni friend and me and her have pretty much developed separation anxiety so we always try to get into all the same courses but this semester it didn't work in one of our courses so both of us are very much like AND i am very unlucky with my schedule because i have uni every day now and it's so tiring because 4/5 days i only have class for 1.5 hours and i live a little further away so i have to commute for twice as long as i'm actually there😐 i hate it here. HAVE YOU SEEN THE SEULO TEASER!!!! i almost lost my mind i need it her to drop it ASAP (whoo woo 눈앞에 눈앞에 나타나 줘) !! not you researching apple types??😭😭😭 it's literally you as #1 cutest person in the world and then 10 spaces empty😔 AHHHH i'm so happy you like the new theme i am also very much 💗💘💕💓in love💓💕💘💗 with yours!! no bc ur right beomgyu really is just SO beomgyu😣 and AHHHH 2.0 i'm happy you liked the song too :(( i really liked ioi and i only stumbled upon the news of her solo by accident but i'm so happy she finally got it, her and chungha were my biases🥹🫶🏻 omg NOOO i really hope you managed to pass ur exam (pls update me i won't be able to rest otherwise :/) and i hope the closing shift was alright too!! AND !!!!!! i forgot to ask last time (literally so vile and evil) but how is your eye i hope that stye is gone by now because it's literally been like three decades since you mentioned it😟 oooohhh i hope you get to read more literature soon!! (plus get the sleep and rest you deserve😾) i also wanted to read a book over the summer but i procrastinated so much that i only started like two weeks ago but i had to stop again because my exams are coming up and i have to study for them which is another thing i'm procrastinating on😁👍🏻 omg the person i was during my 1d days ..... my actual dark past ..... i stanned them from early 2013 to early 2014 and then i kind of lost interest UNTIL the literal earth-shattering day that march 25, 2015 was and i started stanning them again but only until the start of 2016 because right after i started my kpop phase 🫥🫥 i haven't really been keeping up with them that much i've only listened to a few of their singles and i enjoyed the memes that followed the liam drama this year way too much😭😭 omg that first video literally one of my favorites ever i love seeing them just chilling off camera plus him incorporating head and shoulders knees and toes into his freestyle⁉️🤨 NOOOO the cheering he is so 😣😣😞😿 and omg the song!!!!! this message is already so long ur probably gonna be like bffr once you see this😭 so here is your first your second and your third link I LOVE U ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!
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pleaseee ur my angel but yes hehe we’re mutual ults 🥹💗 how lucky is that 🤯 awww omg an update already yay but aw im sorry also that video is so funny but in the context it’s so 💔💔💔 how disheartening 🥺 omg i hate that !!!! why can’t uni just understand and be more flexible with schedules <///3 commuting being longer than actual class time is so 0/100 would NOT recommend >:(( i hope u find time to rest throughout all this even though ik already that’s it’s difficult to make time btw actual in school and commuting and life 😮‍💨 and omg the seulo mv 😳 “i kiss your brother” SEULGI?!1!1!!3!:!: i really really love songs with a bass line as powerful as that one ~ ive yet to listen to the rest of the album / have you ?? also this is such a random question but do u buy albums or photocards ? :0 hehe anyway (pls ur the absolute cutest to ever exist and to bring meaning to the word ‘cute’) haha….. apparently i failed so terribly…. which is bad bc initially i thought i’d done better… it’s a lot to explain but haha… (you are the furthest thing from evil ARE U KIDDINGNNEME u are the kind of good that gives people hope to keep living to keep dreaming and loving and anyway) my stye went away eventually so yay! there isn’t enough time in the world is there hm 🥺 i hope we both can read books at our own leisure/whenever we want to soon 🤹 best of luck on ur exams !!!! let me know how those go (also plz get ur sleep and eat and be hydrated) omg a directioner too? 🥹 they were dark times…. almost forgot about freaking liam drama ahhh we were so happy then (well sorta hehehe) OH GOODNESS UR LINKS *hand over heart* im… 💔 yeonjun being a lookalike to the short bangs kitty im so in luv ahh and their protocol team :”) it makes me happy to know they’re taken care of and besides that they have fun with each other it warms my heart 😿😿 worlds colliding abby huening is definitely meant to be part of ive idk 😮‍💨 slayyyyy hehe sorry i feel like i didn’t say anything of substance in this reply which is absurd especially after such a pathetically long delay ☹️ during the final week of september my sister came to visit (she lives 1000 miles / 1609 km away) and i had lots of fun and when she left everything went downhill and i haven’t been well and with the little time i have to myself im just exhausted 🥺 im sorry i didn’t mean to mar this response to you not bring u anything but positivity bc u deserve the best 🥺 i withdrew from one of my classes due to how overwhelmed i was and im just trying to take each day at a time at the moment 👍👍 so i hope to be better 💌 HEY WAIT AHH DID YOU SEE UMM UMM TXT NEW HAIR COLOR?2!!2!2!;!/ APPLE, WE GOT BLOND SOOBIN!!!!! PINK TYUN!!!! BROWN 🧸 BEOMGYU!!!!! BLACK HAIRED YJ!!!!! PRINCELIKE BLACK HAIR HYUKA!!!!! at a loss of words……. please update me with ur life and with school and everything! i TRULYYYY hope things are going better and that u at least enjoy the classes u share with ur friend and that ur commutes are safe 🥺 here are ur links 📃~ this impeccable cover of beomgyu, another cover of his hahaha, this tweet, and a song (this song is so sad ive only been listening to sad music lately whoopsies) also sorry my links are lacking :( i’ll do better next time 🫶 i know i only ever give you 2% when u give me 10000% and i apologize i love u and i don’t ever wish to take u for granted 🥺 please take care always ~!! 💗❤️💗❤️💗 (tyssssssm for the pics they’re so cute and beautiful i love them)
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obsob · 2 years
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nyanbinary 
#mine#original#dbskbfd yes this is inspired by that ask i got#i havent done much this week....or perhaps i have....brain is.. tired#also hand hurts i lifted smth heavy today and now ow ow my body is falling apart#oh to have a pain level at 0#i tried a different drawing app today n it SUCKED n i immediately requested a refund#i just want. good pencil brush. nothing comes close. my search continues#i dont think im gna work tomorrow i have a Day on saturday so. rest n prepare#i will probably read and also play some skyrim n maybe write....im writing...hehe#will i write a full thing will i give up who knows. im having fun.#also ive gone from like reading three books at once to one book at a time i cant read more than one now its so funny#i get stressed abt which one i am reading. i hve a little reading tracker app im using n ive been reading my current book for 9 hours#its so funny to think i have read the equivalent of like a full days reading over like a month#i am not gna hit my reading goal of 25 books i am telling u now. this is my fault for reading like 500+ page books#i have this book to read. then the 3rd one which is like 800 pages i think. then i have two like 400 pages n then im gna read a 1000 page#oh dear.....djbkfs.....n then 3rd book of series i like comes out in june. so much to read!#if u like historical fantasy read the godkiller chronicles i cannot tell u how much i love them like no one has read them. PLEASE.#my goal is to read 1.30 hours a day im reading like 30 mins jsbkbjd.....need to wake up earlier#i dont rlly read iin the evening. pm means skyrim time hehe#im doing dawnguard for the first time cant believe serena made me give up volstag#horrid little man. ive given u a dawnbreaker and u charge me 500 gold.#volstag? vortstag? vorstag#im going to marry him. make him a wife
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havin-a-wee · 3 years
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If Only She Knew
pairing: dad!harry x cheerleader!reader
word count: 4.2k
warnings: smut (fingering + unprotected sex), cheerleading position implies readers weight, 20 year age gap
hi! ive been having some really bad writers block but i wrote this and even though its def not my best work i like it enough to post it :) also, i totally didn't mean to imply the readers weight, i only realized afterwards, so im really sorry about that. also the age gap is kinda big, so if ur uncomfy with that you shouldn't read this <3
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY
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“Geez watch where you’re going!”
You don’t even look up at the girl, recognizing her nasally voice easily from how annoying it is. You were nose deep in a book while walking down the school hallway, and of course your worst enemy had to be walking down the same hallway, at the same time, in the opposite direction. You are both at fault for the collision, considering Ella had her eyes locked on her instagram feed. But knowing the girl, there is no way in hell that she will take any responsibility, even though you are the one who has coffee dripping down the front of your white blouse.
Since middle school, Ella Styles has always hated you. You have never known why, but she seems to have a vendetta against you, and tries her best to make your life miserable. You never let her, always refraining from giving her the explosive reaction that she was looking for. And that makes her hate you even more.
High school is over in 2 months, and although you are going to miss the freedom of being a child, you most definitely won’t miss the people from the tiny town you’ve lived in since you were young. You’ve always been the type of person to have a small friend group, only 4 people in your circle. But that’s how you like it, because crippling social anxiety makes it difficult for you to meet new people.
“I- sorry.” You still don’t look at her, instead peeling the soaking wet top off of your stomach.
“You better be sorry.” She flips her blonde hair, ensuring that the fluffy locks hit you right in the face. You are lucky this time seeing as she didn’t take it further, because sometimes she would purposely embarrass you after small incidents such as this one.
Tears well at your waterline and you run into the nearest bathroom, pushing open the blue door and locking yourself in a stall.
After all these years of torment, Ella rarely was able to get to you. But sometimes, she does something that pushes you off the edge, leaving you with red, tear-stained cheeks. The final straw this time was her ruining your brand new shirt, the one you were anxiously waiting to debut at school.
But now there was coffee dripping down your chest and staining the bright white fabric. Your only saving grace is the cheerleading uniform in your backpack. In fact, you were walking to the locker room to change for practice, and then for the game at 6 tonight.
You had been excited for the game, knowing that Friday night games always led to parties and fun afterwards. You rarely go to parties of course, but the buzzing energy never fails to rub off on you. But now that stupid Ella had to go and mess up your day, you’re dreading seeing her smug face while she asserts her dominance as cheer captain.
You untie your top and rip it off in a haste, frustrated tears running down your face periodically. You could’ve put a jacket on and gone to the locker room, but Ella would be going there soon, and the last thing you want to do is run into her with teary eyes. She can’t know that you let her get to you.
You brush your hands down your uniform, pulling down the skimpy costume and stuffing your old clothes in your backpack. Once out of the stall, you pull your hair up into a high ponytail, reapply your lip gloss and walk back into the hallway, having already done your makeup that morning. You’re happy that it’s a home game today, because the home game uniforms are two pieces and the skirts are smaller than the ones on the away game uniforms. There is a certain someone you are looking to impress, and the way your tits spill out from the top of the outfit will most certainly help you in your mission.
It’s not like you need to impress him, because he’s shown time and time again that he finds you sexy no matter what you wear. And when he doesn’t tell you, he shows you, by pressing his hard on up against your ass after you just woke up, despite your messy hair and bare face.
However, he also loves when you tease him. And that’s exactly what you’re planning to do.
You sling your heavy backpack over one shoulder and trudge down the hallway, the old fluorescent lights practically blinding you on your journey. The locker room is dingy, smelling of cheap soap and Victoria’s Secret perfume. At least it doesn’t smell like the boys locker room, which smells like sweat and more sweat.
It's already bustling with people, your teammates scrambling to get ready in time as to not get yelled at by the coach.
“Y/N!” The familiar shout of your best friend Rose is like a breath of fresh air, and you bound over to her. She’s standing in front of your lockers, the two of you obviously picking ones next to each other. “Wait, why are you already changed?”
“The bitch spilled her coffee all over me,” you grumbled, your eyes shifting over to where Ella and her little goons are giggling.
“I keep telling you, anytime you want me to beat her up I will gladly do it.”
“Not that I doubt your abilities Rose, because I know you would have her on the ground in a heartbeat, but I can’t let you do that. She can’t know that she upsets me.” You lower your voice for the second sentence, irrationally fearing that she can hear you over the loud chatter echoing through the room.
“I still think you should let me beat her up, but you do you I guess.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her locker, bursting out into laughter with you after a beat of silence.
The rest of the getting ready process goes smoothly, Rose distracting you from the girl side-eyeing you in the corner. Soon enough, the whole squad was in formation outside, and you have your hands on the shoulders of Rose and another girl named Bethany. You are a flyer, meaning that you’re the one who the bases support while you pose and flip in the air. Its a hard job, but you are one of only three girls on the team who is advanced enough at flying to be safe doing it in routines. One of the other three girls is Ella.
Ella is the flyer for the middle group, seeing as she is the captain. You are on the right and the other group is on the left. Luckily, Rose is a base in your group, so you feel a lot better putting your safety in the hands of someone you already trust with your life.
“ELLA! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!” Coach Habbiths voice is piercing, her angry shrieks bouncing off your ear drums. Ella audibly huffs, displaying her frustration with the critiques she has been receiving since we learned the routine weeks ago. That’s one of the biggest problems with Ella, she believes that she's always right.
Every single practice she has done a needle instead of a scale at the end of the routine. It's aggravating for everyone, and that frustration is amplified everytime she makes the same mistake over and over. “Alright, everyone down. group 1 and group 3 take five, Ella and group 2 stay on the field.
The team obliged to her instructions, and you are brought down from the air.
“Okay Ella, I want you to watch how Y/N does the last move, because she’s actually doing it correctly.” Coach is standing in front of you now, and she emphasized the word ‘correctly’. This is much to Ella’s dismay, and much to your excitement.
Nothing brings you more joy than seeing Ella’s face when you one up her, and this time is no exception.
Aside from a few eye rolls and nasty looks, Ella corrects the move without much fuss. By now there's 15 minutes until the game, and the players have been warming up on the field for about half an hour.
“Did you see her face!” Rose tugs on your arm while you walk back to the locker room, water bottles in hand.
“I know! I should’ve taken a picture!”
“We can only hope that it knocked her ego down a peg.”
“I doubt it” Rose nodded in agreement and you continued your chatter, talking about the random things that best friends talk about.
“It’s go time ladies!” You jumped in surprise when Coach Habbiths yelling booms through the locker room, the hefty amount of metal in the room enhancing the echo.
In a blur, your entire team rushed out onto the field, the crisp air cooling your warmed skin. There was a huge crowd. probably the biggest the teams ever had. But that makes sense, because this game was against your school's biggest rival. Luckily, despite the huge crowd you were able to lock eyes with those piercing green irises you have gotten to know so well over the past couple months. Everytime you see him he gets more and more attractive, and this time is no exception.
At this point, the teams routine is muscle memory and you’re done with it before you can blink. Most people would think that being thrown in the air is memorable, but your main concern is the growing wet patch on your panties that spreads each time you squeeze your thighs together. Just the thought of the man is enough to turn you on, and now that you’re sitting on the cold metal bench your imagination has time to go wild.
The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the eruption of appaulause from the audience, and the realization that the other cheerleaders were standing up and running towards the players. You breath out a sigh of relief, recognizing the cheering as a signal that the game has ended.
“Hey, you coming?” Rose tugs on your arm, looking down at you still on the bench.
“Um, actually I don’t feel so well, I think I’m going to go home.”
“I should’ve known. You know, one day you’re going to have to go to a party.” Rose places her hands on her hips, giving you a sarcastically annoyed stare.
“And today is not that day.” You grab your backpack and sling it over your shoulder, turning back to Rose for a second. “Have fun and be safe.”
“I always do.” Rose places a chaste kiss on your cheek before turning back to the gathering crowd on the turf.
Instead of heading to the sidewalk and walking home, you duck under the bleachers and walk down the gravel path, pushing open the fence that separates the field and the school. The contents of your backpack slosh around while you sway your hips as you walk. Finally, you make it to the back wall of the school, leaning your back against it and plopping your heavy backpack down by your feet.
And now you wait.
Much to your convenience, the wait this time isn’t long, only five minutes passing before you see the familiar man following the same path you did earlier.
He has a pair of brown slacks on, pressing against his waist courtesy of his black belt. A button up white shirt hides the tattoos on his stomach, but he's rolling up his sleeves as he walks over to you. He's walking with intention, hungry eyes zeroed in on you.
When he’s only steps away, you cheekily bite your lip and use your finger to push up your skirt a little bit more.
Your actions have the intended effect, his eyes blowing wide and hands grasping at your waist.
“Y’can’t do that.”
Before you have a chance to ask what he means, his lips collide with yours, his tongue slipping in only moments after the initial kiss. But as soon as he started, he pulls away.
“Y’can’t be teasing me on the field like tha’, had me hard next t’my friends.” His hand is on the wall above your head, and his other arm is wrapped around your waist pulling you into his chest. He’s panting, and you are too.
“Sorry Mr. Styles,” you push your bottom lip out in a pout, giving him the most innocent look possible. “Just wanted to wear it cause I know how much you like it.”
“Aw, my babygirl wore this f’me? Well I guess y’can be forgiven. Now let’s get t’my house before I fuck yeh right on this wall.” He places a soft kiss to your lips picking up your backpack from the floor and turning to the direction of his car.
“But it hurts!” He turns around again, giving you a sympathetic look and caressing your cheek. The rings on his fingers are cold, but you’re used to the feeling.
“I know sweet girl, but I can’t take care of yeh here, s’too risky.” He pauses for a moment, thinking of a solution to your not so little problem. “How bout I give y’my fingers in the car? Hows that sound hm?” You nod eagerly, pulling his hand down from your cheek and holding it. He takes the signal and begins walking to his car while you follow him.
You never planned to sleep with your bullies dad. But a few months ago your parents dragged you to a family friends housewarming party, and that friend happened to be a friend of Harry’s too. There were no other teenagers there, so your focus was on the attractive older man who had been checking you out since you first locked eyes, and after ending up in the upstairs bathroom together the two of you have been fucking at least twice a week. You only learned that he’s a dad when you saw him for the first time outside the party. He didn’t look the part, and you actually thought he was in his 20s until he corrected you. He’s 38, having become a parent at only 20 years old. Your relationship is a bit taboo, but you’re a mature 18 year old and you and Harry get along well. So well that your time together has developed from casual sex to a mutually exclusive relationship. (Neither of you like labels, but you’re basically boyfriend and girlfriend).
He makes you really happy, and when you have to face off against Ella, it helps knowing that you have power over her, even though she doesn’t know it.
“Did she do anything today?” Harry is walking beside you, hands still intertwined.
“Besides spilling coffee on my shirt, nothing much.” Harry sighs in frustration and squeezes your hand as a show of affection.
“M’so sorry, I wish y’didn’t ‘ave to deal with her.”
The thing about Harry and Ella is they can barely be considered family. Ella’s mom is, for lack of a better word, a bitch. She’s snobby, conceited, and rude, and those behaviors have rubbed off on Ella. Another thing that rubbed off on her was her mom’s hatred for Harry. Being young parents put strain on their already struggling relationship, and they split before Ella’s first birthday. Harry said he tried his best to make it work for Ella’s sake, but her mom was looking for someone to pay for her life, and Harry had just started working his way up as a businessman.
Now, he’s a CEO, but luckily Ella’s mom already found a new beau with plenty of money, so she didn’t come crawling back to him. However, the success Harry achieved only a few years after their breakup made her jealous, and so she instilled that anger in their daughter. So currently Ella spends most of her time with her mother, and when she is with Harry she doesn’t treat him kindly.
“It’s not your fault Harry, you don’t have to apologize for her actions.”
“I know, I jus’ hate tha’ she treats yeh like that.” He sighs again, reaching into his pocket to grab his keys. In a few more steps you’re standing outside the sleek black suv, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding in once you hear the click of the door unlocking.
You both take a few seconds to breathe, an unspoken gesture to prepare for the night's events. Harry turns to you, a sexy smirk plastered on his face. “What d’ya think about fixin’ that ache darlin?” You nod eagerly, sliding down a bit in your seat to give your legs room to spread. “Think yeh can take off y’skirt fo’me?” Your head bobs once again as you nod, hooking your fingers under the elastic waistband and shimmying out of the skirt. While you’re doing that, Harry turns the car into the deserted street, using only one hand to steer.
You toss the tiny skirt into his lap, giving him a signal without distracting his eyes from the road. He reacts immediately, his free hand coming down to squeeze your thigh. You mewl at the contact and bite down on your lip, trying to stop your hips from bucking up in search of relief. His squeezes move up your thigh, and finally his fingers press against your weeping cunt. Swiftly, he pushes your soiled panties to the side, swiping his fingers up your folds collecting your juices. You shriek and buck your hips up into his hand, but much to your dismay he removes it from between your thighs. The car comes to a stop at a red light, and Harry takes the moment to look at you, his eyes wandering your squirming body. He’s practically drooling when he places his fingers in his mouth, tasting your sweet wetness.
“Sorry pup, jus’ needed t’taste yeh.” He chuckles again, and you whine softly in desperation. In one quick motion, he dives his hand back to your pussy, pressing his thumb on your swollen clit.
“Fuck!” The pleasure shoots up your spine, goosebumps raising across your body as he rubs circles on the puffy button. “Harry- please,”
“What d’ya want puppy? Want m’fingers?”
“Yes, yes,” you breathe out, words barely comprehensible through your panting.
“Alright, alright, I gotcha.” And with that his two fingers press into you, filling your tight hole perfectly. There is no hesitation before he begins pumping the digits in and out of you and his thumb never lets up on your bundle of nerves. “Such a needy puppy, got yeh soaking f’me from out in the stands hm?” His eyes are still on the road, but you can picture the lust filled eyes that are undoubtedly on his face.
“Get so wet jus- just thinkin’ about you,” you gasp, writhing as his fingers slam in and out of you.
“Yeah? This is my cunt, m’the only one who can make yeh this wet, isn’t tha’ right?”
“Only Harry.” At your confirmation he speeds his hand up, your vision clouding with white spots as the knot building in your stomach grows tighter and tighter.
All of a sudden, he pulls his fingers out of you, leaving you empty. “Wha-” You begin to question him but you realize that he’s pulling into his driveway. Instead of complaining, you sit up quickly and unbuckle your seatbelt, pulling your skirt back up your legs to avoid being nude on his front lawn.
As soon as you feel the little jolt your hand yanks on the handle and you hop out of the car. Your brain is fuzzy with need and all you are focused on is alleviating the aching between your thighs. You hear Harry lock the car while you're on the steps, and you turn back to ensure that he’s behind you. And sure enough, he’s hot on your trail, just as eager as you to get inside and onto his bed. Your foot is tapping on the ground anxiously, waiting for Harry to unlock the front door. After what seems like an hour, he is next to you again, fumbling with the silver keychain in his hand, eventually unlocking and pushing open the door. You both practically run inside, hands roaming each other's bodies and lips locking as you shuffle through the hall.
You disconnect breathlessly when you reach the stairs, subconsciously wrapping your hands around Harry’s neck so he can pick you up bridal style. He does so hastily, barely a second passing before he’s plopping you onto the fluffy mattress. “Finally,” he pants, hands fumbling with his belt buckle. There’s a prominent bulge in his trousers, and although you’ve seen it plenty, you are always in awe at how thick and big he is. While he’s busy removing his clothes, you are practically drooling at the sight of his bare cock, full, heavy, and dripping precome.
“Harry?”
He looks back down at you with his emerald green eyes, simultaneously dropping his recently-removed shirt on the floor. “Can I ride you?” The look he gives you is indescribable, a mixture of need, lust, cockiness, and beauty all rolled up into one.
“Whatever y’want puppy,” His hands scoop under your ass, and he lifts you up and switches your positions. Now it’s your turn to undress, and Harry makes himself busy by running his hands up and down your torso. “So gorgeous, y’know that?” You nod quickly then pull your shirt off of your head. “Most beautiful girl in the world I reckon.” You blush at the compliment, butterflies being added to the many sensations occuring in your body. You straddle his thighs, wrapping your hand around his length and tugging a few times. A loud groan rumbles through his throat, and you smile knowing you’re the one who made him feel like that. “Thought- thought yeh said y’wanted to ride me pup.”
“I do.” You keep your hand on his cock, sitting up on your knees and lining him up with your weeping cunt. All at once, your body is put at ease as his cock fills you up perfectly. He bottoms out inside of you, both of you moaning and groaning while you adjust. “So big-” Your words come out in choppy pants, the syllables being cut off by your heaves. You suck in one deep breath and move upwards, sinking back down onto him quickly. His large hands hold a tight grip on your waist, guiding you up and down his member. His lips attach to your neck, suckling on the supple skin just enough so that it doesn’t bruise.
“What a dirty little puppy you are,” he growls, eyes focusing heavily on where your bodies connect, watching himself disappear inside of you as you bounce up and down on his cock.
“Feel so full-” Tingles ricochet down every part of your body, and your legs are becoming weaker with each movement. Harry can feel your movement faltering, so his hips thrust upwards to meet yours, fucking you from underneath. “Harry!”
“I know pup, I know.” His thumb strokes your cheek and he leans in for another kiss, devouring your plump lips and swirling his tongue around yours. “So fuckin tight,” The words tumble from his mouth in a low growl, which sends the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy. His cock twitches inside of you, encouraging you to muster all your energy and finish both of you off. Adrenaline kicks in and your strength returns, riding him faster and harder than before. “Let go f’me Y/N.” It only takes a few more thrusts for you to come undone, Harry’s orgasm following suit. The waves of pleasure roll through your body, and you throw your head back in ecstasy as you allow the feeling to overcome your body. Spurts of his hot cum cover your velvety walls and you ride out your orgasms together, resting your foreheads against one another.
You end up sleeping at his house, feeling safe knowing that Ella is staying with her mom today. It’s normal for you to sleep at his place, seeing as both of you are usually so tired that you pass out before you can leave. What isn’t normal is for you to be woken up in the morning by Harry’s phone ringing. Harry is a deep sleeper, and you laugh at the sight of him conked out while his ringtone blares on the nightstand just a few inches away. Carefully, you reach over his sleeping body and grab the phone, planning on hanging it up and going back to bed. However, when you saw that it was Ella calling, you changed your mind. Making a split second decision, you slide the icon to the right, holding it up to your ear.
“Hello?” Her whiney voice rings through your eardrum and you wince. Not the nicest thing to be woken up to.
“Hello,” you answer, your voice not reflecting the cocky grin that spread across your face.
“Who the hell is this!” she shrieks, and you make a mental note that she must not be a morning person.
“A friend of your dads.” Your response is once again calm and monotone, trying to stifle the laugh that is bubbling in your throat.
“Ugh! What’s your name?”
“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”
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toplinetommy · 3 years
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Kill My Lonely Nights - Tyson Jost
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a/n: after plotting and replotting this fic for over a month its finally here. my baby and definitely my most favorite thing ive ever written. hope everyone enjoys it as much as i do.
tagging @bqstqnbruin​ thanks for being my beta and for bouncing ideas around with me and also my fav josty whores 😇 @justjosty​ @hookingminor​ @farbutnevergone
Synopsis: tyson finally meets jt’s neighbor — and he’ll stick by her side through her ‘i’m a single and independent woman’ phase as long as jt doesn’t find out
songs: im so tired - lauv, troye sivan; better than heaven - slander; cherry on top - olmos, kyle reynolds
words: 20k+
warnings: alcohol, smut, unprotected sex​
“Tyson, you know my neighbor right?”
You roll your eyes at JT’s way of introducing the two of you, because, no, you did not know the curly-headed brunette in front of you. You had seen him in passing a few times when he was over at JT’s but you never learned his name. In fact, the only thing you knew about him was that they were teammates and you got that from deductive reasoning since he was always dressed in some sort of Avalanche merch. 
“I’m y/n,” you smile, sticking out your hand for the stranger to shake. 
“Tyson,” the no longer nameless stranger responds, a quirky smile on his lips.
“It’s nice to finally put a name to the face,” you respond, your cheeks heating up as you look over him. He’s cute in that quirky way where his head’s a mess of curls, his eyes full of joy, and his shoulders filling out the grey Avs hoodie quite nicely. 
“Same here,” Tyson agrees, shoving his hands into his sweatpants pockets. You continued to gather the few things in the living room that were yours before finding your phone charger and giving JT a hug. 
“I’ll see you when you get back from Chicago yeah?”
“Yep, have a good birthday!” JT cheers, from his spot on the couch.
With that you bid Tyson and JT a goodbye, choosing to wave at Tyson instead of showing an outright affection towards the stranger. The door shuts behind you as you walk a few feet down the carpeted hallway to your own door. 
“Dude,” Tyson starts, turning his attention back on his buddy from where it was lingering on the now-closed door. 
“No-”
“You don’t even know what I’m gonna say!” Tyson incredulously interrupts.
“You’re gonna tell me she’s hot because, yeah, anyone can see that. She’s going through this thing she’s been calling a ‘guy cleanse’,” JT explains, putting finger quotes around guy cleanse. Tyson brushes the comment aside, not bothering to ask any more questions. If he’d want to get to know you, he knows he’d have to do it without JT’s help. JT always had this thing of being overprotective over the women in his life, especially being a guy that grew up in hockey with three little sisters.
Another week or so passes before Tyson sees you again. It’s when he’s getting into the elevator after getting dinner with his JT, and you’re just getting home from what Tyson presumes is work and maybe even the liquor store with the purse and lunch box hanging in the crease of your elbow as well as the case of Truly’s in your other hand.
“Hey, it’s y/n, right?” Tyson says in lieu of a greeting. He holds the elevator open for you as you step out, thinking of ways to keep the conversation longer than a simple greeting. 
“Yeah,” you smile, warmly at him. He can see that your hands are full as you try to shovel through your bag in search of your keys as you take another step towards your door towards the end of the hallway. “Well, uh, have a good night Tyson.”
Tyson watches as you turn away with a small smile, and suddenly he’s stumbling over his words, trying to make the moment last longer. He’s rarely ever seen you around, most times in passing in this very hallway and the occasional time JT talked to you on the phone when they were on the road. You didn’t go to games, you didn’t hang out with the team, and you were never over at JT’s when Tyson would show up.
But when he had officially met you the other week when you were leaving JT’s apartment, he was transfixed and curious about the girl JT always talked about but never brought around.
“Do you wanna come in for a drink?” You ask, nodding to the case in your hand. You’re asking as more of a common courtesy than anything else, but you can tell that he’s waiting for you to make the next move regarding this run-in with him. The peachiness of his cheeks and his hands shoved into his jacket pockets are proof of that.
“You sure?”
“Any friend of JT is a friend of mine,” you smile, opening your front door and gesturing for Tyson to go in before you.
“Yeah, okay,” Tyson smiles, taking another step towards you and reaching out for the box of Truly’s. “Let me take that for you.”
Tyson graciously takes the case from you and steps through the doorway of your apartment, suddenly losing any train of thought he once had now that he’s in an apartment he’s never been in. He sees the fridge across the way and decides he’ll just stick the drinks in there. There’s thankfully space in the fridge for them and he watches you shred your raincoat and heels by the door. “So, uh, how do you know JT? Like, I know you guys are neighbors but he’s always referring to you as his best friend. I honestly didn’t even know that you lived next to him until the other week.”
You laugh, thinking back to how you even met JT. It was nowhere near being a typical introduction between neighbors, it was honestly pretty far from that. “So, whenever he first moved here like two years ago, I was sitting in my car in the parking garage on the phone with my dad, and this car parks next to me and the driver gets out and completely dings my car. I’m talking a paint scratch that’s starting to rust now.”
“He’s pretty unaware of his space,” Tyson laughs, knowing all too well that his friend did something like that.
“And so, I get out of my car, and I confront him about it, and he apologizes and whatever, not a big deal. But then he gets off the elevator with me and I’m thinking this guy’s gotta be a creep since he’s barely talking to me but then he pulls out his keys and is unlocking the door next to mine, and now he bugs me all the time,” you smile, Tyson making space for you to go into the fridge he’s currently standing in front of. 
“You see that picture frame over there?” you nod your head to the wall your TV is mounted on. Tyson walks over to it, inspecting it and noting that neither of the people in it are you or JT. “There’s paint missing behind it because when he was helping me mount my TV he hit the wall with the drill. He got me the frame to cover it but I still haven’t gotten around to putting a picture there.”
Tyson’s eyebrows quirk up, “and how long has it been there?”
“Uh, maybe a year?” you answer, your tone making it sound more like a question as you blush. Tyson only laughs at you, fully understanding how something like that can slip from your mind. You offer him a Truly at that, him not missing an opportunity to chirp you since your flavor of choice was lime, even though his was black cherry, which in your mind was the most basic flavor there was.
He sits across from you at the island while you stand opposite of him, leaning on the granite in front of you. He can’t get enough of your laughter, finding it’s something you do quite often as the two of you share stories. You, on the other hand, have to stop yourself from blushing since he doesn’t break eye contact with you once. It’s starting to get late and you still haven’t eaten dinner, so with an empty Truly in hand, Tyson is reluctantly getting up to head home to prepare for his early practice and flight tomorrow. He doesn’t want to impose on you any further, considering you were essentially strangers an hour ago.
You wave goodbye at him as he walks down the hallway to the elevator, a smile on your face as he nearly runs into Mr. Harter, the man that lives at the end of the hallway. You laugh as he apologizes profusely, something you amount to his Canadian upbringing.
Tyson curses himself over the next few days for not getting your number, and there’s no way in hell he’s asking JT for it. He doesn’t know how he’ll go about getting it, and the possibility of him running into you to get it is slim, with the fact that the Avs have a nine-day roadie on the upper East Coast. He figures he’ll try to ask JT more about you over the course of the trip, and then hopefully weasel his way into getting it.
It’s three days into the roadie and they’re sitting next to each other on the flight from Ottawa to Toronto. JT is busy on his iPad, and Tyson looks around him, seeing Cale and Gravy reading books, and G is passed out behind him. Tyson nudges JT’s shoulder with his, JT pulls out his AirPod and looks towards his buddy.
“So, y/n, eh?” He jumps right in, watching as JT rolls his eyes and moves to put his AirPod back in. “You said she doesn’t date?”
“Correct.”
“Why’s that? She seems like she wouldn’t have any issue in that department.”
“First off, that’s gross. Secondly, even if she was dating, you aren’t allowed to try anything,” Tyson chooses to ignore that part but continues to listen anyway. “She’s just like focused on herself, I don’t know. She knows her worth and knows what she deserves. She’s been single for as long as I’ve known her. It’s no bullshit with her, in every aspect of her life.” JT shrugs his shoulders as he talks. He’s not an expert on the topic because it’s not one you really talk about with him considering it’s just not really a huge part of your life.
Tyson hums along as he listens to JT talk, trying his best not to show why he’s even asking these questions in the first place. He takes what his friend says in stride, not being one to have gone through a phase like the one you’re going through. In fact, Tyson’s never been someone to say no to a date, fully taking advantage of the pro-athlete lifestyle he’s been living for years now. JT knows this, knows what it’s like to be 22, and all eyes on you. 
He was there once, but he’s been with Sydney for over two years now. JT knows the locker room talk that goes on within hockey teams, he’s been living it his whole life. Yeah, the Denver room has been the best and the calmest when it comes to comments about guys’ dating lives, but the occasional whistle and chirp is made when one of the single guys has a story to share. The last thing he wants is to hear your name in one of those scenarios.
He doesn’t get your number during that road trip, can’t even find you on social media so he puts his efforts on pause. He even went through the list of people JT followed, your name not coming up once. Come to think of it, he doesn’t even know your last name.
Soon January is ending and February is starting, the season kicking into high gear as the all-star breaks ends and the playoff push truly begins. Tyson still hasn’t seen you around other than the occasional run-in, and you honestly haven’t given him much thought since that night in late January. Your life has always been chaotic, but still in the most organized way, and you’ve barely seen JT with the way his game schedule is laid out. But the middle of February brings Sydney to town and brings too many parties while she’s around.
It’s at Andre’s place where you see Tyson again, warm pleasantries shared between the two of you. He’s a little confused as he watches you chat with almost everyone there, the weird feeling coming from the fact that most people filling the apartment are on the Avalanche roster. He wonders if you’ve already met most of them or if you’re just that outgoing.
Tyson finally makes his way over to you, two cans in hand as he offers you the one with green lettering with a smile.
“A lime White Claw? That’s the way to my heart,” you joke, placing your hand over your heart before taking his offering.
“I was asking around to see if there were any Truly’s,” Tyson laughs, waving his hand around. “But I hope the White Claw is okay.”
“A White Claw definitely isn’t as good as a Truly but it’s a close second, thank you.”
“Right!” Tyson agrees, “People think they all taste the same but there’s a clear hierarchy of which seltzers are better than others.” You laugh along with Tyson at his comment in complete agreement. You tell him your own tier list of seltzers, starting with Truly’s and ranking the Bud Light ones as the worst.
“I’ve only had a few of them, but I’ll take your word for it,” The laughter between the two of you dies down before JT finds you, saying he’s been looking for you for a little bit.
“It’s not my fault I’m hidden by all these huge men,” you roll your eyes, pointing around the room that’s filled with men all over six feet tall.
“Did you know your neighbor was a hard seltzer connoisseur?” Tyson asks with a quirk of his eyebrow, causing you to scoff. You were nowhere being a ‘connoisseur’ of sorts.
JT takes a sip of his drink, “She’s an alcohol connoisseur period, bud.” WIth that JT disappears to go find his girlfriend, leaving the two of you alone. Tyson’s face is filled with confusion at JT’s comment, not entirely sure what his comment even meant.
“I used to bartend in college,” you answer his silent question. “Which makes me JT’s personal bartender most nights.”
“Maybe I’ll have to get you to make me a drink sometime then,” Tyson suggests. It’s a little too forward for his liking but it just slips out, and you giggle at his attempt at flirting. His tan cheeks have a pink flush to them, and you’re sure it’s not from the alcohol since most people have only been here for an hour or so.
“C’mon,” you nod your head in the direction of the kitchen. Tyson silently follows you, weaving between the people and the furniture. “I can get you that drink right now.”
Once you make it to the kitchen you look around the counters, taking note of the different types of liquors laid out. Tyson watches you as your hands move around, picking up and setting down various bottles. When you’re satisfied with your concoction, you hand him a shot glass, one in your own hand to match his.
“It’s a shooter,” you inform him. He puts trust in you, clinging your glass with his own and bringing the glass to his lips as he tips his head back. Your eyes stay on him as his tongue pokes out to swipe the extra liquid off his lips before you realize you haven’t even taken yours yet. His eyes stay locked on you as you throw your own shot back, your eyes reconnecting when you set the glass on the counter next to you.
A shiver runs through you as his eyes watch your every move. You hadn’t noticed it with any of your other previous run-ins with him but he’s intimidating in that way where his presence is radiating that good kind of confidence. You watched him, unbeknownst to him, as he made his way around the room before ever making it to you.
“So what was that you just gave me?” He asks, crossing his ankles and leaning further on the counter behind him. You move to stand next to him, your shoulder brushing his cotton-covered bicep.
“It’s called a lemon drop shot, it’s just vodka and lemon juice so nothing too special,” you shrug, turning to look up at him. “Maybe I’ll get around to making you more drinks.”
Tyson smirks lightly at your comment, his hands gripping the counter behind him. He remembers what JT told him not too long ago about you, and how you’re someone that doesn’t put up with bullshit when it comes to relationships and his heart deflates a bit. He’d much rather keep talking to you and eventually kiss you, but he knows deep down that’s not what he wants with you either. He can tell from your brief encounters that this could be way more than just a few dates, so he holds back and instead bites his lip before pulling his phone out of his pocket.
He passes it over to you, and you hesitate taking it as you look between the black phone and his brown eyes, “so we can plan a time for you to make me drinks.”
“Ah, I see, I see,” you quip back, taking the phone from his hands and opening a new message and typing in your phone number. You respond back to him on your phone, showing that you got the text and opening up the contact to save his information. “Should I put in some funny name for your contact or is Tyson good enough?”
Tyson laughs fully at that, his chest rumbling for a moment before he calms down and tells you his name is just fine for now, “but I won’t complain if you find a better name for me.” Tyson scratches the back of his head for a moment as he places his phone onto the counter next to him, trying to find the words to keep the conversation going.
You leave not too long after that, catching an Uber with JT and Sydney back to your place. Tyson stays near your side most of the night, giving you a full hug as you leave and a promise of texting you soon.
You see Tyson the next morning at brunch with JT and Sydney, his strong, muscular thighs touching yours in the small booth. You get some fancy french toast, Sydney eyeing you from where she sits across from you. She’s been a close friend of yours ever since JT introduced the two of you whenever she first visited. Her eyes keep flicking between you and Tyson and you give her a stern look, silently telling her to knock it off.
“So, y/n,” she starts, a smirk forming on her lips. “How’s the dating life?”
You scoff with a laugh at her question. She knows well enough how that aspect of your life is doing considering you text her on a pretty regular basis. You choose not to answer, the scoff you let out being enough. 
“Besides, no guy is good enough for her, right?” JT asks, looking over at you continuing his girlfriend’s train of thought. His eyes glance over at Tyson sitting next to you and Tyson ignores the look his teammate gives him. 
“You mean the idiots you always try to set me up with? The ones that don’t live in Denver?” You quip back with a raise of your eyebrows. It’s more of a joke than anything else, but Tyson doesn’t quite understand your tone and mannerisms yet.
His heartbeat speeds up momentarily, thinking that if you hadn’t had any interest in any of JT’s other friends, you definitely wouldn’t have an interest in him. Besides, he may live in Denver now, but that’s not even the whole year when you account for traveling and the offseason.
You miss it, but Tyson changes the subject anyways, which is something you’re grateful for. Brunch passes by and when the waitress comes back with two checks, you knit your eyebrows.
“Actually, could I have my own check? We aren’t together,” you stumble, cheeks heating up at the misinterpretation of yours and Tyson’s relationship.
Tyson takes the check from your outstretched hand, “it’s fine, I got it.”
He’s talking more to you than to the waitress as he smiles warmly at you. You thank him quickly, but not before saying you have enough cash to take care of the tip. He doesn’t argue, following the three of you out of the restaurant and to your car. The two of you linger a little further back than JT and Sydney, both of you reveling in the comfortable silence. 
“Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?” You ask.
“Not really, I was probably gonna call my mom and maybe do my laundry,” Tyson answers.
“Do you want to come over and hang out instead? I’m just gonna third wheel the two of them but maybe we can find something to do that’s more interesting than laundry.”
Tyson laughs at the third wheeling comment you make, being all too familiar with being the third wheel around most of his friends. “Sure, yeah, I’ll just follow you all then?”
“That sounds good. I’ll see you in a few,” you say goodbye with a smile and a shy wave, hopping into the backseat of JT’s SUV.
Once you get home, Tyson’s knocking on your door a few minutes later with the same warm smile he seems to always have. He sheds his winter coat as he enters your apartment, throwing it over the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He notes the change in clothes, as you’re now wearing an olive green crewneck instead of the wrap top with flowy sleeves you were wearing at the restaurant a few moments prior.
“You a big reader?” He asks, picking up and inspecting the book that’s laid out on the kitchen island. The Power of Now, it reads on the cover. He flips through the first few pages and goes to the back cover to read the reviews.
“Sometimes, it depends on what it is, but I usually just go through phases where I read in all of my free time and then I won’t touch a book again for the next few months,” you admit with a small laugh. “That one’s really good so far though. It’s just about how to live more presently and in the moment.”
Tyson nods his head as he listens, his eyes on you as you speak, “Cale really likes reading this kind of stuff, I should tell him about it.”
“Which one is Cale, again?” You ask, mentally going through the Colorado roster. 
This causes Tyson to laugh, “JT really doesn’t bring you around much, eh.”
You laugh along with him, “not really, but that’s on me sometimes. I go to bed too early for my own liking.”
Tyson’s confused as to why he’s never really seen you before at anything. Guys on the team are always bringing their friends around if they can. At first he thought he just always missed you, but he knows he wouldn’t miss someone as carefree and beautiful as you. Nevertheless, he’s glad he’s sitting in your kitchen right now, and to top it all off, he didn't even have to ask you to hang out first.
“Do you read at all?” You ask curiously. You really knew next to nothing about the man in front of you other than that he was Canadian, played hockey, and preferred Truly’s over White Claws (his favorite flavor was still to be unknown to you).
Tyson chokes out a laugh at your question, “No. When we travel I usually play random games with Sammy and he’s been teaching me French. I still don’t know much so don’t go asking me to say anything.”
“Duly noted,” you nod. You move to the pantry, looking for a few things as you continue to respond. “Like I said, my interest in reading comes in waves and you barely speaking French is better than me only knowing English.”
You continue rifling through your pantry, pulling out everything you know you need. You’ve just finished setting all of the dry ingredients you’d need to make brownies when Tyson asks you what the hell you’re doing.
“I was thinking we could make brownies,” you respond, opening your fridge and pulling out the milk, butter, and eggs. You hear the island chair scratch against the hardwood, indicating Tyson getting up.
“Wait a second,” Tyson says causing you to turn around with a confused look on your face. “Are these the brownies Comph always bringing around that his friend makes?”
“They very much are,” you chuckle. He compliments the baked good one more time before you’re putting him to work. The two of you move seamlessly through your small kitchen, both of you sharing smiles and stories to fill the time. There’s a moment where you see a certain glimmer in his eyes paired with a small smirk and you think he’s about to pull one of his infamous Jost pranks that JT was always telling you about. He doesn’t though, and instead just nudges your hip with his. It seems like you’re looking more at him more than focusing on the flexing of his forearms as he mixes the dry ingredients.
Once it’s time to mix the dry and wet ingredients, Tyson all but misses half the bowl, causing a good chunk of it to land on your crewneck and jeans. The brown powder covered the ‘Disney World’ logo across your chest.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Tyson rushes out, holding back a laugh, because of course he would embarrass himself in front of you and mess up something as simple as that. You move to the sink, shaking off the loose contents into it to help alleviate any sort of mess.
“You’re fine, I promise,” you reassure, turning around to give him a smile. He smiles nervously back at you, not fully knowing your statement was genuine or if you were trying to spare his feelings. He glanced at your chest, trying to see the damage he had done before realizing he was staring directly at your chest and his cheeks flushed. You walked back over to where he was standing, giving him another smile as you began mixing everything together. 
“Would you, uh, ever wanna grab dinner with me some time?” He asks, voice higher than normal as he speaks, his heart beating nervously for your answer. Your face falls as you hear the question and you slowly turn around to face the curly headed brunette. Tyson is a great guy, it’s obvious to everyone, and you’re not oblivious to the fact that there’s physical attraction between the two of you. It’s that Tyson is best friends with your best friend who also happens to be your neighbor.
You laugh nervously at the question, the question seemingly coming out of nowhere, before you respond, “Sure, it’s not like it’s a date or anything.” 
You brush it off, even though you’re pretty sure he was explicitly asking you out on a date. You turn your focus back to the brownies, popping them in the oven before wandering down your hallway to change into something clean. As Tyson walks over to take a seat on the couch, he sees your retreating figure as you pull your sweatshirt over your head. He stops in his tracks momentarily, seeing your bare back, the skin between your shoulder blades covered by your lacy bralette. He blinks a few too many times as he shakes any thoughts from his head and continues his path to the couch.
Your guys’ friendship quickly develops after that. The two of you starting a snapchat streak and having a long string of text messages involving various TikTok’s and memes alongside the more serious stuff. You seem to be spending more time at JT’s place when Tyson is also there and soon enough Tyson’s leaving JT’s and going the few extra feet to your place instead of home like he says he’s doing.
It’s one of those rare nights where it’s the three of you at JT’s place and you’re all catching up on the latest episode of Hell’s Kitchen. You’re pretty sure JT cheated and watched the new episode already with how quiet he’s being and how absorbed he is in his phone.
“JT, did you already fucking watch this?” You ask, whipping your head to look at the ginger in question. He’s sitting across the room from you in what he claims as ‘his chair’ while you’re sharing the sectional with Tyson, your feet in his lap. “And you wonder why I never watch shows with you. Tyson and I are going to start watching it without you.”
Tyson chuckles at that, his thighs rumbling under your ankles, his hands coming to rest atop of your shins. JT scoffs at you, unaware of your two’s newfound friendship. To him, the only time you ever saw or even talked to Tyson was when he was also around. Besides, he didn’t need to know the ins and outs of every single thing you did in a day, even if Tyson was involved in a good portion of those things.
You let JT’s previous actions of watching your show ahead slide since the episode was finally wrapping up. JT goes back to the Hulu home screen with an exaggerated yawn followed by stretching his arms above his head. It’s then he turns to his two best friends, letting them know he’s going to start heading to bed and that the two of you are more than welcome to hang out for a little while longer. He doesn’t think much of his offering, but it’s one Tyson’s thankful for if it means he gets uninterrupted time with you that isn’t revolving around the team or drinking.
It’s then he remembers how he never found you on social media, something that had bewildered him in the moment but one he forgot about once he got your phone number and snapchat. 
“So, this is gonna sound totally weird but do you have an Instagram?” He asks, infliction in his voice and ears turning pink at the question. He remembers how not too long ago he did some heavy duty deep dives into JT’s social media to see if he could find your name only to come up empty handed. Your stomach tightens and the thought of him looking for you, and you definitely don’t take it the weird way he’s insinuating.
“No, I don’t,” you respond, sitting up further in the corner of the couch, Tyson bravely holding onto your ankles. “Which definitely makes me the outlier of our generation. I had it for a while but then I kinda just got sick of it and how fake it was starting to get, so I deleted my account. I have not missed even once, too.”
He nods his head in understanding, he’s been there, especially with being a professional athlete. “I’ve been there. I deleted my twitter a while ago because every time I got on there some nobody would be in my notifications about how I was playing. I really didn’t need that, ya know? Like, I play hockey for a living and I’m very aware of when I’m underperforming. So, it was hard when I would get on my phone and see other people telling me the same things.”
Tyson’s fingers began to brush comfortably over your shins and ankles as he spoke, causing you to start slouching back into the couch. 
“I’ve gone back and forth with deleting Instagram but I just can’t seem to make a decision. Besides, I only follow my friends and musicians I like.”
“It’s definitely not for everyone,” you agree with a hum. “The biggest plus is that it gets me off my phone and I’m more absorbed with the real world. It’s all in that book I was reading a while ago that you asked about.”
Tyson remembers that conversation, a smile falling on his lips as he hands rub higher and higher on your calf. The movements are causing you to yawn not a minute later, but you try hard to keep your eyes open to continue to hang out with Tyson. “You a big music guy then?”
Tyson scoffs with a small, playful grip on your leg, “I get the aux in the locker room, so I’d say so. Not a big deal.”
You laugh at his joking manner, snuggling deeper into JT’s couch. Tyson notices how sleepy you’re becoming and he gives your leg another squeeze.
“C’mon, I’ll walk you home,” Tyson suggests as he slips from underneath you to his feet.
You chuckle at that, considering you're more than capable to walk the few feet from JT’s door to your own. Before you can respond saying just that, Tyson’s reaching his hand for yours to help you off the couch.
“My mom raised me to be a gentleman, so I’m walking you home even if it is down the hall.”
You accept his offer, the two of you walking in silence until you’re pushing your key into the lock. You turn back to Tyson once you’ve cracked your door open, wanting to take in the silent, all-too-relationship-like feeling this scenario is. Tyson’s eyes drift from where they’re focused on your eyes to your lips, before he’s scratching the back of his head, a sign of nervousness you’ve quickly caught on to.
“Goodnight, Tyson,” you smile softly, leaning up on your sock clad toes to wrap your arms around his neck and give him a hug. His arms wrap around your middle; his back bending over at an awkward angle to properly reach you. You breathe in his musky scent as his hands spread out over the small of your back. The scruffiness of his beard against the side of your face has you giggling as you pull away. 
“Goodnight, y/n,” Tyson reciprocates your smile, walking a few steps backwards before finally turning around and heading to the elevator. Your eyes linger on his toned thighs and maybe even his butt under the cotton of his joggers as he walks the all too familiar way hockey players walk, before finally entering your apartment.
JT’s sitting on your couch this time around, rather than you sitting on his, a too large glass of wine perched in his hand as the two of you catch up. He’s been busy with morning skates and a string of back-to-backs with a road game sprinkled in the middle. It’s getting to be that part of the season where it’s ‘all gas, no breaks’ as he likes to say. They had an earlier than normal game today due to it being a national broadcast on a Sunday, so the two of you ordered take out from one of your usual spots and parked your asses on your couch for the night.
“I feel like we haven’t had best friend time in so long,” JT groans, sipping down the remnants of his wine before standing up for a refill.
“Not all of us can travel the continent on a regular basis,” you chirp with a laugh, one JT matches. The tv show murmurs in the background, it’s one you completely forgot about as JT relates stories and updates on his sisters to you.
“I still can’t believe Jesse graduates soon,” JT starts. “Like, soon when we go to Boston it won’t be the annual family trip since two of the kids are actually in the same city for a change.”
“But that’s so awesome for her, you have to remember that. How’s her season going?”
“They’re doing good, winning games and taking names, she’s really stepped into her captaincy role.” The smile on JT’s face is contagious, causing you to mirror it. You had only met his family a handful of times, only whenever they made the trip out to Denver every now and then. His sister’s, even if you didn’t talk to them regularly, were like your own at this point. JT loved to joke that you were the third sister he never wanted but still somehow ended up with. It was part of the reason he was always trying to set you up with his friends, because to him, if he already knew them, then he knew he trusted them with you. It was more of a joke when it first started over a year ago, but the guy’s he mentioned started to become more serious considerations on your end before you ended up always telling him no.
You were more than okay with being single, being independent, being a woman that never looked for male validation and instead lived life purely for yourself and the people you choose to include with you in that life. JT understood that more than anyone else, that’s why the thoughts you consistently had about Tyson were being shoved deep down inside of you in fear that JT would laugh at the idea and tell you not a chance in hell. It’s why those times you caught each other staring you never did anything about it, or how JT was still unbeknownst to the close friendship you started with him.
It’s why now there’s a silence between the two of you as you take a too-long sip of your wine, a way to stall before opening your mouth and getting JT’s opinion on all of this. You set your glass down on your thigh, your spare hand running along the stem of the glass as you start to speak, avoiding looking over at JT as you do so,
“You know how I don’t date or whatever,” you start, your lip caught between your teeth. You glance over at the redhead on the other couch, seeing him knit his eyebrows as he sets his phone down next to him.
“Yeah,” he draws out, confusion laced in his tone
“Well, I was thinking of maybe getting back out there or something,” you shrug your shoulders, unsure of how to really continue this conversation so you end up on the topic of Tyson being that someone you get back out there with.
“Did someone ask you out?” JT immediately asks with a shake of his head, wondering where all of this is coming from. His full attention is on you now and there’s no way to avoid his eyes as you respond.
“No, I was just thinking about it, I don’t know.”
“Did you, like, have someone in mind?” JT asks, the definitive knit in his forehead still there.
You purse your lips in thought. This would be the time to drop his teammate’s name you think to yourself. His name is heavy on your tongue as you take one more sip of your drink, “Tyson’s kinda cute.”
You say it simply, with a shrug in your shoulders, hoping the ease of your posture radiates towards JT. It doesn’t, just as you expect, a choked out cackle leaving his lips, before he says a harsh ‘no’. The comment deflates you, the knot in your stomach only tightening, mainly because you weren’t really asking him a question and just trying to get that thought out into the open for the first time. JT doesn’t read that as you respond back, telling him was just a thought anyways.
You drop it at that, thoughts running through your head of your close friendship with his teammate, one that’s very close to blurring that line between just friends and something more. It's a problem for another day you think, shoving the thought to the back of your mind as Tyson’s name flashes across your phone screen.
A few more weeks pass of Tyson and you hanging out at JT’s apartment, only for Tyson to follow you to your own apartment before he’d leave for the rink for his game. He slowly began going through his pre-game routine at your place, only to leave with JT under the guise that they would carpool together since his apartment building was on his way to Ball Arena.
Tyson’s cooking his pregame meal in your kitchen, something he had yet to do but when you had told him you had never eaten squash the other day, he made a point to make it his favorite way, even if it meant eating dinner at 4:30. His game day suit was hanging by his coat in your coat closet, you wouldn’t tell him but it was your favorite suit of his. The navy cashmere made the highlights in his dark brown hair pop out and was a nice contrast to his tan skin. He was taking the squash out of the oven, laughing as you made yet another comment on not knowing that was how a squash was cooked.
“What does a squash even taste like?” You ask, peering over the kitchen table to watch him as he places the pan onto the oven to cool down. The bright yellow and oranges of the fruit freak you out a bit, but the smell of garlic and parmesan cheese brings a smile to your face.
“It’s like earthy and nutty, I don’t know. I’m not a Food Network chef.”
The comment has you rolling your eyes with a laugh as you stand up from your chair to retrieve plates and silverware. 
“What are you doing?” Tyson asks with a whip of his head as his eyes follow your movements.
You look at him quizzically, pausing your movements on your tippy toes as you reach for the dinner plates, “setting the table?”
“I can do that,” Tyson starts, reaching out for the plates in your hand and setting them on the counter in front of you. “I’m the one cooking.”
“Exactly,” you reason, “And this is my apartment so I know where everything is.”
“I’m wining and dining you, well minus the wine since I have a game.” Tyson shrugs, tending to the squash on the pan and the veggies surrounding it. “That reminds me, the guys are going out after the game, you should come.”
You move around the kitchen as he speaks, filling up two glasses of water to set on the table. He plates the food as he finishes speaking and sets them on the table. It looks colorful and delicious and you’re shocked he can cook something that seems so complicated, especially since you know JT can only cook a burger and some random pasta dish.
“Well, I am going to the game so I don’t see why not,” you finally answer. You hadn’t gone out in weeks it seemed like, mainly due to your earlier than normal mornings and that you were the only single one out of most of your friends. All of your coworkers lived with their partners and were usually the type to bail on a night out so they could stay home. The few single friends you did have lived on completely different schedules than you, so they were either getting home late from work which was around the same time you’d need to call it a night, or were like you and too worried about early mornings to do anything.
But it was a Thursday, and you had taken the weekend off so it was a perfect time to catch your first Avs game of the season, even if it was already a few days into March and the season was halfway over. The both of you eat your dinner with a few laughs, Tyson telling you about how he forced himself to learn to cook over the past two years of living by himself. He even shared a few horror stories of when he lived with JT and Kerf, giving you plenty of dirt to use as blackmail if necessary. 
“Dinner was really good, thank you,” you acknowledge standing up and grabbing his plate from him.
“You liked the squash, eh?”
“It wasn’t too bad,” you reply playfully. He knew you liked it with how quickly you scarfed it down and the profuse compliments you offered him. As you clear off the dishes and load the dishwasher, Tyson disappears down the hall only to reappear dressed in his suit, save for the jacket and tie. 
“Who are you sitting with tonight? I never asked.” Tyson speaks, making the job of tying his tie look easy as he’s not even looking in the mirror to do so.
“Oh, my coworker, Amelia, and her girlfriend, Gabby,” you respond, leaning back against the counter as you watch Tyson finish up with the details of his suit like putting his cufflinks on and checking his hair in the mirror by your front door.
For a reason Tyson knows too well but ignores, a weight falling off his shoulders as he hears you saying you’re not going with a potential date. But then again, he knows you’re not dating and you more than likely would’ve declined his offer to go out afterward if that were the case. Tyson checks his watch for the time, seeing it’s about time to knock on JT’s door to grab him.
“So, I’ll see you after the game, yeah?”
“Yep, I’ll meet you and JT down by the locker rooms so we can all head out together. Maybe I’ll finally get to meet the infamous Cale.”
The Avs scoot by with a tough division win, one that’s needed to put them in first place in the Central by two points. You’re standing in the hallway of the locker rooms among the other WAG’s that you don’t really recognize due to your lack of knowledge on who’s who. Your nose is buried deep in your phone as you shoot off a text to Amelia telling her to let you know when she gets home safely when you recognize Tyson’s familiar Canadian accent followed by JT’s booming laughter. The two of them reach you, both of them giving you quick hugs before walking to the parking garage.
“Who’s jersey you got on there?” Tyson asks with a nudge of his shoulder into yours. You look down at the 19 stitched into your shoulder with a smirk.
“Only the best Av to ever play the game,” you respond, to which JT rolls his eyes. Tyson’s look of confusion doesn’t change as you answer, still pretty keen to the fact that you’ve never really talked hockey with him besides the stories about practices he’d share with you. “Never told you I didn’t like hockey, just said I never went to games.”
“I’ve tried to get her one of my jerseys and she literally told me she’d return it,” JT interrupts before Tyson can respond. You open your mouth to chirp him back but before you can, JT is calling shotgun once Tyson’s car is in view.
The bar isn’t as packed as you thought it would be, given half of the Avalanche roster was occupying more than a few booths. Andre takes a seat across from where you’re sandwiched between JT and Tyson - a seating arrangement you’re not sure how you got in.
The first round of drinks slowly turns into the third, and you’re no longer squished between two bruly hockey players since JT has found a home at the pool table with Nate and Naz. You had finally met Cale, the blush on cheeks matching Tyson’s description of them. You shared book recommendations with one another while Tyson had wandered off to the bar. It’s then you learn that Tyson’s kind of taken him under his wing, despite the very small age gap and that they live in the same building. Your eyes catch him as he chats with the bartender and a dirty blonde that’s close to his height that you very much did not recognize.
She’s all legs and has an award winning smile from what you see from fifteen away. Tyson’s turned away from you, his back facing you, and if you could see his face filled with that smile that’s showing he’s just trying to be polite to the stranger.
It’s then that you start to fully allow yourself to notice not only the physical attraction you feel towards your new friend, but the emotional one as well. It’s not overwhelming by any means, but the pit in your stomach can only be described as jealousy — a feeling you don’t have much experience with. 
You see two new glasses being set in front of them at the same time, assuming that Tyson had bought the stranger a drink. That pit in your stomach only tightens, the smile on your face from Cale’s story falling as you continue to watch them interact. 
The pair only talk for a few minutes before the girl walks away, a defeated look on her face. With he departure, you make your way across the hardwood floor to meet him at the bar, nudging his side lightly as you mirrored his stance. He smiled as you greeted him, noting that this was the first time in hours he got you all to himself. You were just as outgoing as he and JT were, always butting into conversations when you had something to say. 
“I never asked if you had fun at the game,” he asks, voice somehow still soft even in the loudness of the bar. His voice raises goosebumps on your arms, as you hum before responding.
“It was fun, definitely a good game, just a little too much third wheeling for my liking but I’ll take what I can get.”
The comment is a nod to the feeling Tyson knows all too well, one the two of you seem to always share funny stories about with a dramatic use of eye rolls. You ignore the fact that not even a few minutes prior you were plotting that girl’s death, too busy and entranced with Tyson’s presence.
The night continues to pass with just the two of you in your own little world. You find yourself up on your tiptoes, an arm resting on his muscular bicep as you lean up to speak into his ear. His lips move alongside your temple as he speaks, the scruff of his beard against your forehead causing you to giggle. You’re not even sure if JT or any of the other guys are even still around, but your bubble pops as JT calls your name. You turn your body towards the ginger, your hand on Tyson’s bicep not moving as he says that you two should find an Uber soon.
“Okay, yeah, sure. I’ll be out in a sec, Tyson was just telling me a story,” you let him know. JT knits his eyebrows at the comment but walks outside with a few of the other guys all heading home.
“How are you getting home?” You ask Tyson once you’re face to face with him again.
“Cale and I are gonna Uber back, too,” Tyson answers, his tongue swiping over his lips slowly. Your eyes watch his movement as time seems to slow down as the two of you keep your eyes focused on the others. His eyes are squintier than normal from the alcohol and you’re yours match his in that regard. You’re pretty sure he’s about to kiss you and for once, you’re actually going to let that person kiss you.
Tyson’s eyes flick behind you momentarily before you see his body semi-deflate. He steps away, your hand falling off his bicep for the first time in at least an hour as he picks up his blazer that’s draped over the stool next to him and nods towards the door.
“I think JT’s looking for you.”
Sure enough when you turn around, JT is in the doorway waving his phone in the air and pointing at it, silently telling you that the Uber is almost here. Your shoulders fall as the moment you were sure was about to happen is ruined. Tyson walks you out of the bar, into the brisk start of Spring air. You’re too busy thinking about how you most definitely would’ve let Tyson kiss you and next thing you know, your foot is slipping on the ice and you’re yelping in surprise.
Tyson catches your waist before you can even hit the cold pavement, and again, you’ve found yourself in a compromising position as Tyson’s face is mere inches from yours. You blink away the embarrassment as JT’s comment about your almost accident goes unnoticed by the both of you. You regather your stance, muttering a quiet thank you to the brunette before hugging him and waving goodbye with a soft smile.
“Dude,” Cale chastises, “You like her don’t you?”
The comment made by his building-mate has him stuttering over his words, trying to figure out an answer that’s not a straight up lie. Cale takes that as his answer, though, rolling his eyes with a heavy sigh as the two find their Uber.
“Does JT know?”
“No, because nothing’s going to happen,” Tyson answers curtly as he slumps his shoulders in his seat. “JT told me I couldn't try anything and I’m going to try and respect that. Besides, she doesn’t date so it’s not like I have a real shot or anything.”
“I don’t know, man. She seemed to jump out of her seat and end our conversation when she saw you talking to that girl.”
Cale’s comment silences the two of them for the remainder of the ride back to their building. Tyson hadn’t really paid mind to the fact that the second that girl left, you had appeared and stayed by his side for the remainder of the night. He brushes it off, blaming his inebriated mind for the overthinking before asking Cale how they’ll get his car in the morning.
Tyson wakes up to his phone dinging with a string of texts from you, a smile on his face when sees your name across his screen.
y/n: not sure what you did to me last night but this is the most hungover ive been in forever y/n: thank god i dont have work y/n: jt is still sleeping so im thinking of ditching him to go get breakfast y/n: you in? Tyson: im down Tyson: do you think we could swing by to get my car from the bar too? was gonna have cale drive me but if you can that’d be great
Getting ready for breakfast feels all too real as you do your hair and pick out an outfit before finally brushing your teeth. You tap your fingers an obnoxious amount of times against your steering wheel as you drive to Tyson’s apartment, your lip stuck between your teeth as you softly sing along to the songs flowing through your speakers.
Sitting across from him in the diner feels a little bit suffocating, the events of last night replaying in your mind. The path your eyes follow tends to keep going to his lips before you realize what you’re doing and snapping them right back up to his eyes or to the coffee in your hand. Those lips you sure you were close to kissing last night. He orders some obnoxiously healthy omelette bowl with enough eggs and potatoes on it to feed a house of four, while you get classic french toast.
You don’t miss that opportunity to chirp him, the weight finally off your shoulders as you lighten the mood. Tyson never really caught onto your weirdness, thinking it was some side effect of your hangover. 
“Is french toast your favorite food or something?” Tyson asks, mouth a little full as he finishes chewing. You knit your eyebrows in confusion, partly because yes, it is your favorite breakfast food, but why would he think that if he’s only ever seen you eat it right now in this very moment? He sees your confusion, answering your question before you can even ask it.
“You got french toast that one time we went out with JT and Sydney.”
“Oh, it is, actually,” it dawns on you then, even though that morning was over a month ago at this point. It’s sweet that he remembers that, your neck warming at his comment.
“It’s not a big deal,” Tyson shrugs, shoving another forkful of egg into his mouth. And shit, did you actually say that out loud to him? That misstep has your neck heating up even further as you take a large swig of your coffee, mainly so the large mug blocks your face from him.
“Besides,” Tyson starts with a heavy laugh. “You just about inhaled that from what I remember, so it has to be your favorite.”
You drop your jaw in shock from his very true accusation, a slight laugh coming out, “You’re a dick.”
“Hey, at least I’m a dick that paid for your meal,” Tyson acknowledges in a lighthearted tone. You smile at him at that, him sending you one right back. “And before you say you can pay for this one, this is that meal I promised you a while back when we made brownies.”
It dawns on you then, was this a date? Did you accidentally on purpose ask Tyson out on a date? Tyson can sense the wheels turning in your head and drops that topic, instead telling you all about this new artist he’s found on Spotify.
That day’s a turning point for your relationship with Tyson. You end up following him back to his place then, a strange sense of deja vu coming through. The rest of the day is spent shaking your respected hangovers on his couch, your feet perched on his lap, his body naturally leaning towards yours.
Your head’s full of what ifs as you drive the short way back to your apartment, thoughts surrounding the feelings you’ve been ignoring when it comes to why Tyson looks at you the way he does or why he’s always sending you Tik Tok’s about your newfound inside jokes. Your friendship with him is easy, he’s an easy guy to catch feelings for and an even easier guy to fully allow yourself to do that with.
The thought of your friendship with JT clouds your thoughts, though. Unsure of what you should even do considering how quickly he shot you down when all you said was that his friend was cute. You don’t think much of it, knowing that the feelings that are starting to show need to be reciprocated for you to even face that next set of problems.
Soon you’re catching yourself focusing on the number 17 jersey skating around the ice instead of 37 when you have the time to watch their games. Tyson’s eyes are the ones you’re always finding in a room and he’s the one always refilling your drink without a thought. He’s the one you text after a particularly rough day, and he does the same when the Avs snap their eight game winning record. He’s slowly taking that spot as your best friend over from his teammate, a spot you’re sure is slowly turning into more.
It’s another one of those nights where he’s the one you're constantly looking for. This time back at Andre’s apartment with the guys and few significant others as you celebrate yet another Avalanche playoff berth.
You’re drinking far less than the crowd surrounding you, fully buzzed on the atmosphere that is clinching the number one seed in the division with still so much time left in the season. Unlike the group of people that have the day off the next day, you have work, but the thought of missing this night for your two best friend’s wasn’t an option when Tyson texted you as soon as he made it to the locker room after the game was won. Tyson’s hand seems to never be empty, but you soon learn he’s been nursing the same beer since he got to Andre’s. There’s a heavy feeling of contentment washing over him as he celebrates his fourth straight playoff appearance, alongside setting a Central Division record for the fastest team to clinch.
The air between you two has that same fuzzy feeling it’s had for a few weeks now, ever since you had gone out to breakfast with him hungover. The high from the win still filling his veins, that same high radiating towards you as you continually find your way back to his side throughout the night.
Tyson catches you slipping out the door as the sun is just about finished setting and follows you a moment later. You’re leaning against the railing with your arms folded atop of it. It’s the easiest thing in the world for Tyson to step in behind you and place his hands on either side of yours, bracketing you against the cool metal. 
The wind blows through your hair, causing you to push some strands back behind your ears as you breathe heavily with Tyson’s new presence.
“You doing alright out here?”’ Tyson asks, one of his laying to rest on top of yours, you fingers interlocking with his.
“Yeah, just wanted to take advantage of Andre’s view,” you respond. Andre’s place had everything, the view of downtown Denver, the suburbs stretching outside of the skyscrapers, but he also had the best view of the mountains you had seen from a complex downtown.
The silence continues between the two of you, the sound of the Denver traffic beneath you filling it out. Tyson’s chest moves behind you with a heavy breath before breaking that silence,
“I talked to my mom this morning.”
“Yeah? How is she?”
“She’s good, but, uh, I called her to tell her about this girl,” he trails off, his chest inflating behind you again as the nerves start to tighten in his stomach. You remain silent, there’s an unspoken understanding that this is something he’s been wanting to get off his chest, something that you too feel the weight of.
“I wanted to tell her about this girl and ask her for advice because it’s complicated since she’s best friends with my best friend who’s also my teammate and I didn’t know if I should put my feelings aside for the sake of my friendship or if I shouldn’t let my friend telling me I couldn’t ask her out stand in the way of my feelings for her.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, the sudden knowledge of the weight his words have. His grip around you had tightened as he spoke, causing you to turn around in his arms slower than you would’ve liked to as your eyes find his. His hands move from the railing to rest on your hips, his grip a little tight yet still soft. Your fingers toy with the hem of his cotton t-shirt, one that accentuates his arms more than you’d like to admit.
You’re not naive, you know that this is that tipping point in your friendship that you’ve been avoiding, yet at the same time anxiously waiting for. He’s right there in front of you, all wide eyed with that playful little glimmer in his eyes and that smile that’s always plastered on his face when he’s with you. It’s the confidence in his smile as he speaks that contradicts the doubt in his eyes and the understanding he has where he knows he needs to take this all slow. He’s not just trying to win you over or get you to bed, he’s trying to show you that he’s what you deserve, that the feelings brewing inside your stomach are two sided.
All of those things are conveyed in the little things and how he hasn’t made any unwarranted moves on you and how he’s always reading the situation before trying anything.
It makes you truly let the feelings you have bubble to the surface as you open your mouth to finally respond, “I don’t think you should ignore your feelings.”
It comes out as a whisper, one where the breaths of air hit Tyson in the chin from how close you two are standing. Nothing else needs to be said, your heart racing in your chest at that first admittance of feelings. Tyson searches your eyes for any sense of doubt, making sure he’s interpreting your words correctly. His hand moves to the junction of your neck, his thumb brushing against the hollow of your cheek. Your hands trail up his sides, brushing the stray curl that’s fallen onto his forehead back in place. He leans into your touch, his nose softly brushing against yours as you close your eyes. His breath fans over your mouth and the hair on his upper lip tickles you before his lips are landing on yours. It’s slow and soft and full of fire as you kiss him back.
You pull apart breathless a few moments later, a smile on your face as you bite your lip. His smile is wider than yours, a sense of smugness behind it. His lips find their way to your forehead, placing a soft, lingering kiss there as he wraps his arms around your body and pulls you tightly to him. A few more heavy breaths are shared before his fingers trail back to your jaw, his thumb running over your bottom lip before pulling you in for another kiss.
His touches are welcome and the chill you felt earlier is gone with his presence, your stomach tightening in a million knots at the man standing before you. Everything he feels is portrayed in his soft eyes and those several moments over the past couple of months where it was just the two of you, getting to know one another much more than you thought you ever would with one of JT’s teammates. The space he gave you as he let you explain your fascination with living the life you did, one with no obsession with social media or what other people thought and one where you carefully curated the people you choose to surround yourself with.
Tyson had slowly worked his way into your heart, one that now had his name written all over it. You smile at the thought, still lost in chocolatey, brown eyes and the way he’s looking at you like the gorgeous view of the Smoky Mountains isn’t right behind you.
“We should go back inside,” you say, breaking the little bubble the two of you had just created. Tyson understands, knowing where the two of you were, knowing who’s just on the other side of the door. Neither of you make any moves to go back inside, and you bask in the cool weather, enjoying the other’s warmth before finally opening the door to the rowdiness that is a bunch of professional hockey players.
JT beckons for you when he sees you come back inside, too drunk to ask where you’ve been for the past fifteen minutes. He’s dragging you to the kitchen, begging you with his eyes to make the room a round of drinks. Tyson smiles at you from a few feet away, silently telling you he’ll find you eventually. He does, making his way to you when everyone’s drink needs are met, his presence causing your stomach to tighten even if he is standing a few feet away from you. 
Both of you lay off the drinks for the rest of the night, already tipsy enough from your drinks earlier and in a silent agreement that there’s more to talk about between the two of you once the crowd thins and everyone's on their way home. JT disappears into thin air it seems like until he’s practically yelling that he’s called an Uber for you two.
“I think I’m actually gonna stay for a little longer,” you answer, eyes drifting over to where Tyson is talking with Cale and Andre. He sees you glance over at him, sending a smile right back your way causing you to blush before telling JT he’s fine to head home and that you’ll text him when you get home.
The room starts to clear out after that, Andre’s front door opening and closing every few minutes as Uber’s are called and before you know it you’re in the back of a Kia Sorento, laughing at the lie Tyson told Cale that led to him getting an Uber by himself and your hands tightly intertwined on your lap.
You find out a few months later that he didn’t lie, he just told him that he had finally gotten the nerve to kiss you.
The elevator ride up to his apartment is full of giggles, those giggles only continuing as he fumbles through unlocking his front door. He tells you to stop making fun of him under his breath, a blush spreading from the tips of his ears to his nose.
He’s pulling you inside once the door is unlocked, causing you to lose your balance from the pull. Your laughs quiet down as he stares down at you, that smile you're familiar with nowhere to be found as he licks his lips. He’s pulling you in with those big, brown eyes of his and then you’re kissing him wildly, barely a few feet into his home.
“We should talk about this,” you mutter against his lips, not fully wanting to break away from him. He’s connecting your lips before you can continue, too addicted to the feeling of finally having his lips on yours.
“What is there to talk about?”
“Us, what this is,” you respond between kisses.
Tyson pulls away this time, resting his forehead against yours. He knows the logistics of all of this needs to be worked out, but right now he doesn’t want to think about how he’s making out with JT’s neighbor or his inevitable murder if JT finds out before one of you can tell him.
“Let’s worry about the consequences tomorrow, because right now I can’t keep my hands off of you,” he reasons, dipping his head down to place his lips right below your jaw. “And if the way you’re kissing me is any sign, then I’d say we’re on the same page about how we feel.”
You moan as Tyson’s teeth nip at the skin, his tongue poking past his lips out onto your neck and goosebumps are popping up all along your skin.
You give into him then, too intoxicated in his warmth and the taste of Bud Light on his mouth. It’s a conversation for you in the morning when you’re both nursing your hangovers over a cup of coffee. Your lips move along his hungrily, his hands gripping your face before sliding down your sides and squeezing your ass through your jeans. You tug your fingers through the long curls behind his ears, him pushing you against the nearest wall with a thud and a rattle of a picture frame.
Your lips move along his softly, the passion and fire laced in it enough to cause a wave of electricity through your veins and down to in between your thighs. He’s towering over you with his big personality and his wide shoulders and you feel like you need to get impossibly closer to him as you pull him in by the fabric of his t-shirt. His hands fall to the wall on either side of your head.
“God, I’m never gonna stop kissing you,” Tyson huffs out, causing a quick chuckle to run through your body. It’s quick because as soon as the words are out of Tyson’s mouth, his lips are already back on yours.
“You’re gonna have to stop kissing me if you want to fuck me,” you mutter out, a sly smirk on your lips as you watch Tyson’s eyes grow darker at the insuination. The hands that were bracketing you against the wall slide down to your jaw, his thumb running over your bottom lip again before pushing past your lips. You keep your eyes on his as you suck on the digit, your tongue swirling around it. His resolve slips away from you for a moment, before his other hand drags down your side until his fingers push under your top, the warm fingers ghosting over the skin of your ribs.
His breath is heavy against you, the growing bulge causing his jeans to tighten around him. You’re feeling bold then, as you feel him against your stomach with his thumb still in your mouth and his hand tight around your jaw. He’s frozen in front of you as he watches your eyes, that stupid smirk finally wiped off his face as your hands move under his shirt, your nails scraping against the tight muscles. You hold back both a comment about his abs and a moan at the feeling, all the hard work he’s put into his body clearly paying off as you push his shirt up his chest and over his head.
Your nails drag back down his chest and torso before looping in the waistband of the boxers peeking out from his jeans. His thumb falls from your mouth, the wet digit leaving a trail of your saliva on your chin as you work on pulling his jeans down. His head tips back with a low groan as his member springs free and you sink down to your knees, his hand finding purchase on the back of your head while the other is used to brace himself against the wall.
Tyson sucks in a breath as your hand reaches out to grip the base of his cock, tugging softly a few times as you lick the tip. His mouth waters at the sight of your lips wrapping around the head, your eyes looking right back up at him. You hum around him as you swallow him down, the vibrations causing a groan to escape from Tyson’s mouth. He feels euphoric, even if you haven’t had your mouth on him for more than 60 seconds. His hips involuntarily thrust forward at the wet feeling your mouth gives as you hollow your cheeks around him. 
Tyson continued to moan above you as you moved your mouth along him, both of your hands digging into the flesh of his thighs. Tyson’s hand is heavy on the back of your head, not using it to push you deeper onto him, but to ground him as he starts to see stars embarrassingly fast in his eyes.
He pulls you off him then, pulling you up to your feet to stand in front of him once again. There’s a dribble of saliva mixed with his pre-cum on your chin and he wipes it away with his thumb before pulling you in for another harsh kiss. He pushes the two of them to his bedroom, never breaking the kiss as he sheds your shirt and pushes you down onto his bed. You giggle again, the hunger in his eyes all too real as he crawls over your body until he’s hovering over you.
“You’re so fucking beautfiul,” he whispers into your ear, causing shivers to shoot down your body. He runs his hands along your bare sides up to your breasts as he kisses down your neck. His hands brush along your lace covered nipples, making you sharply inhale a breath and arch your back against him. He pulls the fabric down to expose your breasts, his lips still nipping at the skin on your collarbone. He looks down at you again, a sensual look in his eyes that you mirror. His lips attach to one of your nipples, the other being tended to by his fingers as twists and pulls the bud between his thumb and forefinger.
Your hands find purchase in the curls atop his head, pulling at the strands as he breathes a huff of cool air onto your npple before switching to the other one. He makes his way down your body painfully slow, a trail of kisses being left down your stomach until he reaches the waistband of your jeans. He tugs them off just as quickly as he stripped you from your shirt, his eyes locking on the sage green thong you’re wearing and the very obvious wet patch between your legs. He’s impatient from the brief blowjob you gave him and the fact that he’s been imaging this exact moment for far too long now. His fingers dip into the strap of your underwear, his eyes finding yours and asking if this is okay. You respond with a resounding yes as he pulls the underwear off of you.
His lips leave kisses along your thighs, throwing them over his shoulders as his mouth finally makes his way to your center. His beard is rough against the skin of your thighs, a sensation only causing you to whine as he breathes over your clit.
“Tyson,” you whine, causing him to smirk before pressing his tongue to your entrance. The cool, wetness of his tongue has you catching your breath and fisting the sheets underneath you. Tyson moaned against you at the taste as he licked over you a few more times. His lips wrap around your clit, this time causing a full, throaty moan to release from your mouth. One of your hands found its way to his head, holding him impossibly closer to you, the other finding his hand as he interlocks your fingers together.
His tongue dives into your opening, fucking into you as his other arm wraps around your thigh so he can rub his thumb at your clit. His tongue licked around you entrance, alternating between that and fucking into you. His thumb stayed on your clit, rubbing circles hoping to get you to that tipping point, the one you felt nearing with every pass of his tongue over you. Your back arched off the bed, your hips pushing further into Tyson’s face as you felt your high near. Tyson continued at the same pace, pushing you over the edge as you moaned out his name.
He continued to lick softly at you, his thumb slowing down on your clit as he lifted his head up to kiss at your collarbone. The kisses he leaves along your inner thighs gives you time to catch your breathing, your chest still heaving from your orgasm. It’s short lived as his thumb on your clit slides down to your entrance, spreading your wetness around before pushing a finger into you. 
His lips make their way back to your clit with the same smirk he had on his face a few minutes ago, wrapping his lips around the bud as he moves he added another finger. You clench down him at the feeling, moans and heavy breaths of air escaping your mouth as Tyson worked his fingers against your g-spot and his mouth worked over your clit. Your hand squeezes his, the pressure becoming too much so soon after your first orgasm. It doesn’t take long for you to groan out his name again as you clench down on his fingers, your second orgasm rushing through you.
He stays down there a moment longer, but you pull him up by his hair, just wanting his lips on yours and his body hovering over you. His beard is wet from both his spit and your juices, and it has you licking your lips and craning your neck upwards. You pull him in with both of your hands, licking into his mouth and tasting yourself on him.
The kiss is heavy, his hands running along your body trying to memorize every dip and curve, the heavy weight of his member on your hip. His curls tickled your forehead, the kiss turning soft as he splayed a hand on your cheek to pull you in tighter. The head of his dick brushed over your mound, a shiver running through you at the feelings, your hips bucking up towards his with a small whine.
You reach your hand down between your bodies to tug on him softly, a whine leaving Tyson’s lips, one that’s swallowed by your kisses. It’s unspoken between the two of you as pulls away from you, only to push your hand away from him and give himself a few tugs as he settles heavily between your thighs.
You share a look, one that’s gleeful and full of smiles as he licks his lips and slowly pushes into you. You moan and whimper at the feeling of him inside of you, your hands clawing at his shoulder blades to pull his body flush against your own.
“You good?” He asks, referring to if you’re ready for him to start moving.
“Yeah,” you whine, looking into his eyes smiling, “I’m good.”
There’s a pause as you answer, both of you understanding the double-meaning behind your answer. It’s more than just telling him you feel good physically, but that you feel more than that when he’s with you.
He leans in to kiss you again, starting a slow pace as he thrusts into you. He moaned out at how tight you were, how well you were taking him as he kissed you. He picked up his pace, thrusting into you harder and faster, with more purpose as he rested on his elbows above you, looking into your eyes. You always got lost in those eyes of his, as he hit your g-spot you tilted your head back, your eyes fluttering closed. They weren’t closed for long as Tyson grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him once again.
“I wanna look at you,” he muttered as he leaned back down to kiss you. Your moans filled the room as the layer of sweat started to thicken on your bodies, his chest rubbing against yours. He lifted your thigh and pushed it against your chest, the new angle causing the knots to tighten in your stomach as you felt you high nearing. Your lips found their way to his neck and down to the dips of his collarbone. Biting down into the flesh as you moan out again, Tyson’s pace quickening as he feels you clenching around him.
“I’m so close,” you moan out, Tyson hitting you deeply. He could feel himself getting close too, his hips starting to stutter as he moved inside of you. Your breasts bouncing as he pounds into you, your eyes screwing shut as your orgasm starts to wash over you. Tyson swallows your moans as he kisses you through your third orgasm.
His breaths are heavy as his orgasm comes soon after yours, spilling into you as he slows his pace down and gently lowers his body weight onto yours. You two stay like that for a few moments, catching your breaths and basking in that post-sex afterglow. He removes himself once you’ve both settled, a whimper leaving your mouth at the newfound emptiness. He disappears to his bathroom, coming right back with a washcloth as he cleans you up. You thank him as he runs the cool, wet cloth over the insides of your thighs, pulling him back for another quick kiss before he disappears into the bathroom once more.
When he gets back, he lays down next to you, pulling your body snug against his. His chest is warm and still a little sticky from the sweat. Your fingers draw aimless patterns along his bare chest, his lips leaving a soft kiss on your forehead and you feel the upturn of his lips when he pulls away. You smile up at him then, leaning up and puckering your lips, asking for a kiss. He obliges with a soft hum and rubs your arm gently before you’re falling asleep against him, a few drops of drool falling onto his chest.
The morning rolls around too quickly for your liking, the curls on Tyson’s head ticking the back of your neck. Neither of you are in a rush to move as he smiles against the bare skin of your back, a few kisses being placed there as you hum and hold his arms tighter to your torso. He’s up from bed moments later, a sweet kiss lingering on your lips as you watch his naked form emerge from bed and pull on a pair of sweats. Your eyes watch over the ripples of muscles between his shoulder blades, down his back and over his ass before he’s running around his apartment in search of your thong.
He remerges with it draped over his finger, a smirk on his lips before he flings it at you, causing a giggle to erupt from your stomach. You pull them on, a large t-shirt being tossed your way to drape over your shoulders. You follow him out to his kitchen then, a small pit in your stomach at the realization of the conversation that needs to be had, the small bubble you’re in at its popping point.
You jump onto his island counter, the coolness of the granite sending shivers down your bare legs, his back to you as he starts the coffee pot. He’s just in a pair of sweats, bright red lines on display on his back. You squeeze your legs together as you cross them, the actions of your late night antics running vividly through your mind.
He presses the warm mug into your hands, his now free hand pushing open your legs to step between them. He’s so close then, probably the closest you’ve really been to him with a sober brain. The heat from his torso radiates towards you, warming not only your skin but your insides as well as you smile at him. He’s still got that wide, goofy smile plastered on his face, the one you’ve grown to love and to look forward to seeing.
Tyson’s hands move to rest on the counter on either side of you, the close proximity between your faces causes you to set your mug down and move your hands to his shoulders.
“What’s going through your mind, pretty girl?” The new pet name has you mentally squealing, your chest tightening as your cheeks heat up.
“Just how last night I was so adamant to talk about everything, but now I’m not so sure I want to break our little bubble,” you start, the huff of breath air coming out softly as you avoid his eye contact, even if he is a few inches away from your face.
It’s hard to concentrate on relaying your feelings to him and fully opening up to a man for the first time in a long time with him standing right there in front of you, in all his shirtless glory — the defined lines of his pecs and abs, the veins protruding from his arms, and the few purple bruises you’d left on the dips of his collarbones. It’s always been hard to think straight around him, you realize, with the way his presence gives you a comforting buzz and that warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach.
Tyson’s quiet as he watches over you, he licks his lips in thought, a silent hum of agreement coming out. He’s in the exact same boat, the outcome of this conversation not one he’s too scared of, knowing that the way he feels is reciprocated, but rather what the next step is with the best friend you two share. He’s leaning closer into you, a small smile as he places another soft kiss on your lips. It’s one you get lost in, gentle and blissful as your lips move slowly against his. He pulls away first, something he wasn’t able to do last night, before finally being able to put his thoughts into words.
“I just want to make sure we’re on the same page with this. We’re taking a big risk doing this behind JT’s back and I want you to know, no matter what, the risk is worth it with you,” he starts, voice soft and still scratchy from the morning. “And I know you don’t date because you put yourself first and if that’s what you want to do then I’m okay with that, too.”
Your heart melts at the words, your hands cradling his face. Tyson’s always been better with words and feelings than you have over your short friendship with him. The metaphorical door is already wide open in front of you, it’s just a matter of taking that one more small step through it with Tyson, or shutting it and never turning back.
“I don’t date because most people don’t like having independent girls as their girlfriend’s. I put time into myself to be the best person I can be, not only for myself but for others and they don’t like that stuff,” you start to explain, your hands falling from his face to hold both of his hands. “I like you, a lot, Tys, and I want to be with you.”
He smiles wildly at that, the doubt draining from his eyes as he opens his mouth to respond.
You interrupt him though, with a huff of air as you continue speaking, “But JT’s my best friend and I don’t want to hurt him either.”
And Tyson fully understands where you’re coming from, because he’s been struggling with that for the past few months ever since he met you. He thinks back to that conversation on the plane all that time ago and how JT firmly told him to not try anything, but now as he really thinks about it, he’s not sure he meant it because of him and that it was more so because he cared for you and didn’t want to see you get hurt in general.
You can see in his eyes that same wide open door you’re thinking about, the one where you get to explore a relationship with the quirky, optimistic, competitive guy in front of you. The guy that matches your level of confidence as you, the guy that lets you be stubborn and lets you live out that stubbornness because he’s the most patient person you’ve ever met.
The decision’s easy as he stands in front of you, putting the ball in your court, your lip caught between your teeth. He’s waiting for you then, waiting for you to walk through that door or close it and walk out of his apartment. He’s hopeful, knowing that last night wasn’t a fluke and that all the kisses you’ve already shared are real and full of passion and those feelings you’ve been dancing around.
That’s when you give in, wrapping your legs around his torso and pulling him into you with that toothy smile of yours as you place your lips on his hungrily. It’s a kiss full of teeth as he smiles against you, his hands coming to cradle your face as you kiss. It’s much more addicting now that you’re sober and you fully agree with Tyson’s comment from last night about how he’s never going to want to stop kissing you.
You decide later that day that there’s no rush in telling JT, instead opting to see how things go between the two of you for a few weeks. Those two weeks are full of plenty of quality time, a coincidental home stand falling during that time meaning you get him to yourself before facing the reality that is how much he travels. You’re sure you can handle everything the new relationship can throw at you, the honeymoon phase lasting long as the two of you skirt around how you’ll tell JT whenever that time comes.
“I need to leave now if I want to leave for the rink and not see JT,” Tyson warns, prying away from your warm body in bed. You whined in response, wanting to have his warmth for just a little while longer. You let him escape from your grasp, only after asking for one too many kisses. You follow him out into your kitchen, watching him as he pulls on his shoes and finds his keys.
“You sure I can’t get you to stay for at least a cup of coffee?” You muse, giving it one more shot to spend time with him before your work week starts. You make your way to where he’s lingering in your entryway, looking extra cozy with his hood over his messy head of curls. You wrap your arms around his middle, slipping your hands under the cotton of his hoodie to feel his skin against yours. 
He leans down to place a soft kiss on your lips, giggling when you follow him as he pulls away, “I really need to get going.”
“Fine,” you hum. “I’ll see you when you get back from Dallas?”
Tyson nods his head with a hum in answer, finally pulling open your front door to get to his car downstairs in the garage without running into JT. But luck isn’t on his side this morning and he gives you one more goodbye hug and kiss in the doorway before shutting the door behind him and coming face to face with a certain redheaded teammate a few feet down.
JT’s eyebrows are knitted as he takes his key out of the lock. His mouth opens a few times in confusion before any words come out. “What was that?”
Tyson doesn’t think he’s ever been at such a loss for words as he is right now. He looks between the door he just shut and his friend a few times, trying to wrap his brain around what this scene looks like. It’s not even 8:30 in the morning on Sunday, and to anyone, this looks like the start of a walk of shame.
“Uh, y/n and I were hanging out and we fell asleep so she let me sleep in her guest room,” Tyson lies. He hopes it’s convincing, his voice didn’t waver but his hands flailed around a little more than normal when he talks and he scratched his beard, something he always does when he’s nervous.
“I’m pretty sure I just saw you kiss her,” JT explains, voice stern as he completely turns to look at Tyson. “And you don’t just kiss people goodbye.”
Tyson stumbles over an explanation for that, no logical reason coming to mind.
“You were just kissing y/n!” JT exclaims, a rise in his voice as he starts to fill in the blanks. Now he’s starting to connect the dots of your tendency to bail on him on the nights you’d normally hang out and Tyson’s lack of interest in guys’ night or after game celebrations with the team. The giggling he would hear through the wall late at night, the girly squeals, and the few times he remembered hearing the bedpost hit against your shared wall a little too hard for his liking. “You just fucking kissed my best friend after I told you to not get involved with her!”
Tyson moves to close the distance between him and his best friend, but JT takes one back, effectively cancelling it out. Tyson’s opening and closing his mouth, trying to figure out the best course of action for this premature conversation. The two of you had just figured everything out in the past few days, telling JT about your newfound relationship hadn’t even come up in conversation yet.
“How long has this been going on for?”
“Barely two weeks,” Tyson stutters out, watching as JT’s face fills with more anger. “Comph, just let me explain,” he tries again, but JT just shakes his head and heads for the doorway for the stairwell instead of the elevator. It’s a huge flight of stairs given that he lives on the 11th floor of the building. He wants to follow his friend, but knows that space is what he needs and instead presses the button for the elevator and gets in, leaving him alone in his thoughts.
When he meets up with him at the rink, JT’s still avoiding him which is hard considering their stalls are only separated by one other in the locker room. Cale hadn’t even made it to the rink yet, so someone wasn’t even there to put up a wall between the two. Gabe takes notice as he walks around the room after taping his ankles, his eyebrows knitting at the fact that Tyson, who’s normally cheery even this early in the morning and bugging JT, is putting on his pads and skates with his mouth shut. 
It’s something Gabe puts in the back of his mind, just thinking that Tyson had a rough night or morning. It’s during morning skate that Gabe, and almost everyone else, notices something is off between the pair. JT doesn’t chirp him like normal when they take face-offs against one another, he’s not by his side in between drills, and JT sticks his stick out a little too far during a one-on-one, sending Tyson to the ice during a drill that no one should be falling during. Bednar thinks nothing of it, just telling Tyson to stay on his two feet. 
Practice eventually ends but the silent treatment between the two continues. JT’s uncharacteristically quiet to everyone that talks to him, something clearly on his mind. Meanwhile Tyson’s nerves are causing him to not shut up as Cale shares a story about his rough commute this morning.
As Tyson and Cale quiet down, Gabe steps in, pointing between the two of them, “What’s up with you two today?”
“Nothing,” Tyson lies quickly, not wanting anyone else to get involved in this. Even if their captain is just trying to help, Tyson’s not sure there’s anything Gabe can say to help. 
JT scoffs, tying his shoes before standing up, “He’s fucking my best friend.” Cale, who was taking him leisurely time with getting dressed suddenly stands up and crosses the room to where Gravy was, avoiding any possible conflict.
Gabe’s eyes pop out of his head as Tyson responds, “we’re not fucking.”
“So the banging into my wall last night wasn’t you?” JT asks in an accusatory tone.
“Well, we’re not like,” Tyson starts, gesturing his hands in front of his body in a way to finish that sentence, soon realizing he doesn’t want to add fuel to fire by saying he was in fact fucking his best friend last night. “It’s not just that, we’re together.”
Gabe, who thought this was probably a misunderstanding of one of Tyson’s pranks or even just JT not winning a stupid bet, is just as shocked as JT was a few hours agao when he saw two of his best friends kissing. The captain isn’t entirely sure of how to navigate this situation, one that hasn’t really happened in any of his locker rooms. He doesn’t have much else to say to the two of them other than to figure it out and that a girl shouldn’t get between two friends that are as close as they are.
With that, Tyson’s trying to apologize to JT, tell him that there’s more to the story but JT wants nothing of it, and is throwing his jacket on and running out the door. Everything in Tyson’s being wants to follow him back to his place and beg for him to hear him out, but instead he’s racing back to your place, ignoring the fact that he still has to pack for their quick road trip.
Tyson all about sprints up the 11 flights of stairs to your door, knocking on your door with urgency until the door swings open. You move to the side as you let him in, clearly seeing how frantic he is with his flushed cheeks and the excessive knocking.
“JT saw me leave this morning,” Tyson lets out, a little out of breath from his run up the stairs. Tyson’s waiting for you to respond but you’re still not getting it. “He saw me kiss you goodbye and then didn’t talk to me all practice then when Landy confronted us he was just like ‘Tyson’s fucking my best friend’ and I tried to explain but-”
“Tys,” you interrupt his rambling, taking a step forward to reach out to him. Your hands grab his in an attempt to ground him, your thumbs rubbing back and forth on the back of his hands. “It’ll be okay.”
“He literally tripped me in practice today!”
“That’s because he can be a petty asshole. He doesn’t hate you, he probably just feels betrayed because he didn't know any of this was going on.” You try to console him, pushing all of your anxieties and paranoia aside to deal with the panicking boy in front of you.
“Let me talk to him, you need to go home and pack for your road trip since I know you haven’t yet.”
“But,”
“I’ll come over right after and update you, I promise.”
WIth that, Tyson kisses you goodbye as you push him to the elevator with a promise that everything is going to be okay before giving yourself a pep talk and bursting into JT’s apartment next to yours.
He spots you before you can greet him and you can see quite a few different feelings crossing over his face.
“Oh, God, are you here to also tell me that you’re not just fucking my best friend, too?” JT scoffs, causing your heart to plummet into your ass. “I really don’t want to listen to any excuses you may have about this.”
“Stop being an asshole for just one second and let me explain,” you reprimand him, already over the fact that your so-called best friend won’t even hear you out. “How is this any different from the countless times you tried to set me up with your friends? Is this not the same thing?”
It’s a genuine question that shuts up JT, because really, it’s not much different in your eyes. For over a year now, JT’s been showing you pictures of buddies he has from back home or from college or even friends of friends that he’d think would suit you. You had always turned him down because to you, dating wasn’t something you wanted other people to really interfere with, even if some of his friends were young, successful, bachelor types.
“Because it’s Tyson,” JT answers simply with a shrug of his shoulders. You look at him, hands clenching at your sides with the vague and uninterested tone. He’s barely even looking at you as he tidies up his kitchen, something he always did when trying to fill silence.
“What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?” You ask incredulously. “You’ve told me a million times he’s one of the best people you’ve ever met.” You bite your tongue from adding a comment about how he is one of the best people you’ve also met.
“The other guys weren’t professional athletes, it’s pretty simple from how I see it.”
“But you could set me up with your friends from Chicago and New York and Michigan but I find one of your friends here in Denver then it’s off limits? Because he plays a sport for a living? If that’s the case then I shouldn’t be friends with you either.” It’s a low blow, you know that, but it finally catches his attention as he drops the cloth he’s wiping the counter with. His eyes finally connect with yours and it’s then he finally notices how hurt you are by the lack of emotion in both his words and his body language. There are tears in your eyes as you look up at the ceiling to try and even your breathing.
“It's an honor for anyone to have a place in my life JT and that includes you,” you continue. “Tyson understands that. He understands that I'm my own person before anything else but he’s still there when I'm stubborn. I've been single for so long and I truly know what I want, what I deserve to feel and I get that with him.”
You often don’t get this deep with the red head, but his lack of wanting to understand you has you emotional as you think of all the benefits of being with Tyson. The few months of being his friend were a perfect build up to the past few weeks of it being more, of sharing a life with someone else. 
“You know him better than most people and if you can honestly tell me he’s no good for me right now then I’ll end it,” you suggest, your heart beating fast as you wait for an answer. JT has come to be one of your best friends in your life, even if he is just your neighbor, and at this moment it’s hard to think of putting a guy between you. Even if that guy is the first guy you’ve really felt this way towards.
“I’m not gonna tell you that,” JT admits with a heavy sigh. He makes his way across the room to you before continuing. “He’s my best friend, too, and if there’s anyone that knows everything about both of you, it’s me. I guess I just felt like you were hiding a secret from me and we don’t do that, ya know? I just wish you could’ve told me.”
You laugh snidely at that, “Do you not remember like two months ago when I told you I thought Tyson was cute and you shot that down before I was even done talking?”
The wheels turn and the light bulb goes off in JT’s brain as he remembers that conversation from a while back, “I won’t confirm nor deny that I said that.”
The both of you laugh lightheartedly at that, pulling him in for a much needed hug, both of you apologizing to the other. The weight on your shoulders is liften as he pulls away, thankful for the fact that you have such an understanding person for a best friend.
“You want to watch an episode of Psych? I think we can fit one in before I have to leave.”
You contemplate it, knowing that a few miles away Tyson is in his apartment panicking as he waits for some sort of update from you. You know you need to tell him how your conversation just went, but something inside you is telling you that JT needs you to spend time with him to normalize everything.
“Sure,” you smile, walking over to his couch and laying on it long ways, forcing JT to sit by himself in his chair. You pull out your phone to text Tyson, smiling as you type out an explanation.
y/n: just finished talking to jt y/n: everything’s good but i think i need to just hang out with him to make him feel better about everything tyson: you sure? y/n: yes, ill call you when he leaves for the airport💚
Everything gets sorted out when you call Tyson an hour later, calming his nerves as you give him a detailed play-by-play of everything that was said between you and JT. The comfortable silence before you hang up is almost filled with him telling you he loves you, but he knows he needs to talk to JT first and needs to tell you in person, and not over the phone as he boards a flight.
The flight was filled with awkward air as most of the guys saw what happened with Tyson and JT in the locker room when practice ended that morning, and even if they weren’t there for that, they felt the tension between them. It’s not until a few hours later when Tyson’s doing his hair before the game when he hears a knock on his hotel door.
He swings the door open to see JT, his hands shoved in his short pockets as he stares right back at Tyson.
“Can we talk?”
“Uh, yeah,” he responds nervously, stepping out of the way to let his friend through the door. The two of them awkwardly stand a few feet away, that meme about two straight guys sitting six feet away in a hot tub because they’re not gay going through Tyson’s brain.
“I, uh, wanted to apologize about everything earlier. I’ll admit, I overreacted a bit and I shouldn’t have tripped you in practice. It was just a lot to take in, especially because I didn’t really know that you two were that close. And I feel like a bad friend now for not knowing that.”
JT’s apology is way more than what Tyson thought he would get from his friend. He knew yours and his conversation went well, but that didn’t mean he still wasn’t scared JT was going to punch him or yell at him or literally anything that wasn’t an amicable conversation between two adults.
“It’s fine, man. It’s on us for keeping you in the dark on this one and I’m sorry for that. I think we barely knew what was going on until it was all happening,” Tyson starts to explain. He’s trying not to look at his feet, knowing that JT needs to see the feelings in his face, those feelings that are very much real to him.
“And it’s real for you? It’s not a game? Because I swear to God, Tyson.” JT darts, voice stern.
“God, no, this isn’t a game to me JT,” Tyson answers quickly, head shaking in disgust at the thought. “I’m not just trying to bag her and call it some accomplishment or whatever you think this is. If that was the case I wouldn’t even be having this conversation with you and you’d already hate me,” he shudders at those words, unable to ever think he could do any wrong to you. “You told me a while ago that it’s no bullshit with her and I know that because it isn’t for me either.”
JT takes a seat on the bed in the room as his friend speaks, taking it all in. It’s a lot for him to take in, but Tyson really is one of the best people he’s ever met and he has little to no doubt that he’s telling the truth about how he feels. If the tears brimming your eyes earlier in the day said anything, you feel the exact same way. The room is silent once Tyson is done talking, his nerves causing him to be quiet for once as JT figures out his next move.
“I hear one bad bad thing from y/n, then it’s over,” JT warns, Tyson nodding his head along in agreement. “And if the guys start talking about your sex life I will be cutting your dick off.”
“Got it.”
“Okay, now that that’s out of the way, how’d you get her to go for you? I’ve been trying to get her a guy for forever.”
“Easy, have you seen my charming smile?” Tyson jokes with that crooked smirk of his, happy to see that JT is already moving on from that heavy stuff and onto best friend stuff. JT rolls his eyes heavily at the joke, a light ‘shut up’ coming out as he laughs.
Tyson explains everything then, the same wide smile on his face he had when he scored his first hat trick. He tells JT about how he wined and dined you on more than one occasion, how he learned those little, obscure things about you that you caught you off guard whenever he remembered them, and most importantly, just spent uninterrupted time with you, getting to know the ins and outs of your life. To Tyson, getting you to open up to him was difficult yet still a tranquil thing to do. The latter severely outweighed the former, as the sense of serenity he felt with you would always overpower any of those harder moments.
The team returns to Denver two days later, a quick road trip to Dallas and St Louis in the books with the regular season ending within the week. You can see that it’s that time of the year on both JT and Tyson’s face, their eyes a little more sunken in with the back half push, even if they’ve already clinched the playoffs. There’s only a few more games left to round out March and the beginning of April, the guys’ still waiting on their round one opponent.
Tyson heads straight for your place when the plane touches down late Wednesday night. You’d talked to him every day for the past few days, but not being able to see him much after JT finding out caused a lot of anxiety for the both of you. The problem may be solved with that, but seeing the other would just give you that little extra push that this was the right thing to do.
Tyson enters your apartment quietly, dropping his backpack and suit jacket down onto the nearby couch as he navigates his way through your apartment in the dark. The light of your string lights in your bedroom illuminates the hallway, soft sounds coming from your phone as Tyson walks in on you laying on your side.
“Hey,” he gently greets with a smile, pausing in the doorway to admire you. You set your phone down, turning around to face the man leaning against the door frame.
You smile just as wide as he does, responding with just as gentle of a ‘hey’. That anxiety you felt over the course of the last few days instantly dissolving at the sight of the man in your doorway.
“Why’re you standing all the way over there?” You ask with a pout.
“I can’t just look at you?” Tyson laughs, making his way over to you slowly. He joins you in bed, crawling over you like he’s still not dressed in one of his expensive custom suits.
“Not when I haven’t seen you in a few days,” you complain with a giggle, the same pout still glued to your face. He places a quick kiss on your lips in response, giving into your silent ask while also erasing that puppy dog look from your face. You’d only officially been with Tyson a few weeks now, the butterflies still heavily present in your stomach everytime your lips meet his.
“Do you not have clothes to change into?” You ask, referring to the crisp white button down he’s still wearing. He nods his head no against yours,
“Only what’s dirty from the roadie. Besides, I plan on being naked here pretty soon,” he smirks playfully. The comment has you shoving him off you with a roll of your eyes, only causing him to laugh loudly at your reaction. You know he’s partly kidding, using that as an excuse to get up from bed to go to the bathroom.
When you emerge from the bathroom, he’s finally shed his clothes and is under your covers. He opens his arms for you to snuggle into him. You do, resting your head on his bicep as he wraps both of his arms back around you.
“I missed you,” you let out. “Because I didn’t know what was gonna happen when you got back with everything going on with JT.”
“I missed you, too, but I’ve always missed you when we left for road trips,” he responds, letting you in on a little secret that clues you in once again to how real this is and how long it’s truly been going on for. “He’s fine with everything, he just told me we can’t act too much like a couple around him.”
You chuckle at that because of course that was the part JT focused on when they talked. As you look up at him, your heart is full and your head still has that same fuzzy feeling it always has when you’re around him. With him you’ve never really felt lonely, something you often felt even when you were around people before him. Those love songs you once heard on the radio that annoyed you no longer do, and instead you welcome them when they play spontaneously in the car or at the bar and parties or even at Avalanche games. 
The thoughts swimming around in your head have you swinging your leg over him, straddling his hips with his hands on your waist and yours on his ribs. That doe-eyed smile he has is focused on you, a grin spreading over your face at the way everything’s worked out with him. Your heart flutters as he gently squeezes your side, a small squeak coming out. He leans up on his elbows then, admiring the view he has of you. He slowly yet full-heartedly fell for you over the time he’s known you and you can see it in the way his gaze turns soft and as the quirkiness drops from his expression.
You’ve slowly fallen in love with the man underneath you, too, and you lean down to kiss him one more time. It’s slow like they always seem to be with him in scenarios like this, where it’s just the two of you and the sounds of your breathing.
The playoffs fly by quickly with the pace they’re winning at, a WAG jacket wrapped tightly around your shoulders to every game you make it to. A new one is shoved into your hands at the start of the Stanley Cup playoffs, Mel telling you it’s a special occasion that calls for a new jacket, even if it is just for a series and even though you’ve just barely broken in your first one.
You go into that offseason with your newly crowned Stanley Cup Champion of a boyfriend, flying out to Chicago over the summer for JT’s day with the cup and spending a whole week in St. Albert when its Tyson’s turn with it.
And that picture frame you never found a picture for that’s hanging up on your wall by your TV? It’s been occupied now with a photo of you sandwiched between JT and Tyson on the ice after Game 6 against the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Cup on the ice in front of the three of you, faces full of glee with confetti falling around you.
Plus One
The pitter patter of small feet running along the hardwood floors of the hallway, followed by a squeal of ‘daddy’ has you setting your glass down and following after her. Your daughter’s giggle is heard through the house, the familiar sound of your husband dropping his bags by the front door following soon after.
“What’re you still doing up, baby girl?” Tyson chastises the four year old as you round the corner to find the two of them still by the door, your daughter in Tyson’s arms as he gives her a kiss.
“Sage said she wouldn’t go to bed until daddy came home for story time,” you answer for Sage. She only giggles in response.
“How about you go get in bed and mommy and daddy will come tell you a story in a minute?” Tyson asks, playing with her little fingers.
“Okay daddy!” She agrees instantly, running all the way up the stairs and down the hall to her bedroom. The brown curls she got from Tyson bounce as she runs, your heart warming at the heavy resemblance she has to her father.
“How are you doing, baby?” Tyson hums as you give him the usual welcome home kiss, his hand coming to rest on your protruding stomach.
“Good, the back pain is much more manageable now, but I’m still going to the bathroom every hour it seems like,” you shrug as you answer. He’d been on the longest road trip of the season so far, one that means the season is almost over. You’d tried extremely hard this time around to get pregnant at the right time so your next child would arrive during the offseason and not in the middle of the conference finals like your first did a few years ago.
“Soon enough we’ll have her running and occupying all of Sage’s free time,” Tyson muses, the two of you making your way to your bedroom so he could change into comfier clothes. You smile at the thought of Sage finally having a little sister to play with and hopefully become best friends with.
When you don’t get to Sage’s room fast enough, she’s racing into yours and Tyson’s room and plopping down onto your spacious bed. You join her, Tyson following, knowing that she’d much rather be sandwiched between the two of you than in her tiny bed in her own room. She leans into her dad’s side, something she’s always done, but you don’t mind — you love seeing them get so close.
“Did you bring a book, sweetie?” You ask her, taming some of her curls.
“No, tell me the story of how you met daddy again,” she proposes, causing you and Tyson to share a look. It’s her favorite story, one she asks you to relay to her at least once a week, and the one she asks for the most when Tyson’s been gone.
The two of you tell the story to her anyway, taking turns as you tell her how upset Uncle JT was about the two of you dating, all the way to the jokes he made sure to make when he gave a speech at your wedding six years ago now.
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kookingtae · 3 years
Text
falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW
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pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7
→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.
→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)
→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!
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Jungkook could never face Y/N again.
God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?
Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.
But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.
He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.
Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.
But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.
He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.
As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—
Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.
He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.
While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.
He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.
“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.
It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.
Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.
She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”
The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.
And so he stopped fighting.
“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.
Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.
“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.
“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.
Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.
And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.
Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?
The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.
He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.
At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.
Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.
He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.
The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.
It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.
“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”
He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?
She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”
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As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.
You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.
But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.
“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.
Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”
“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”
You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.
“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”
You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”
Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.
A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.
You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.
But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.
Unless…
Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?
Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.
“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”
And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.
If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.
You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.
“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.
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sparrowjaywrites · 3 years
Text
Forget-Me-Not
-Spencer Reid x Female Reader-  Plot: When the team is caught in explosion you wake up with no memory of who you are, or who anyone on your team is.
Y/N = Your name
Y/L/N = Your last name
H/C = Hair color
Heat burned around her as the young woman stumbled to her feet; her vision was hazy, blurred. There was a part of her who wondered if the blurriness was from her pounding head or her missing glasses… glasses moments ago she hadn’t even known she wore. Her feet kicked against debris small stones and smoldering pieces of wood; she could see an opening… a doorway red and blue lights flashed through it. She coughed as she moved, she needed to run, to get out faster… yet despite her desperate need to escape, a need she didn’t understand she couldn’t make her feet drag any quicker over the soot covered floor.
She stumbled through the doorway the red and orange haze of smoke quickly replaced by police lights that blinked fast enough she wasn’t sure if everything was washed in blue and red or possibly purple as her vision began to blur more each time she coughed. A man… no two men raced towards her shouting words she couldn’t make out past the ringing in her ears. Her knees gave out just as one of the men a handsome black man with kind eyes reached her. The other man was just as handsome though in another way… cute with curly brown hair and a singed sweater vest over a buttoned up shirt that she was sure had once been white.
She let the men drag her towards the ambulance slumping into their arms her boots dragging on the black cement. She was placed on a stretcher the second man, the nerdy one she dubbed him simply climbed in with her holding her hand tightly in his. She didn’t know why he held onto her so tightly but she found she liked it; it was comforting for some unknown reason.
The drive to the hospital seemed to pass in a blink of an eye… or maybe she’d just passed out for a moment; that was more likely she mused as she was rolled through the ER doors. Nerdy man followed her inside but was quickly rushed away by a nurse. The nurses were speaking to her asking questions she still couldn’t fully hear though she could now make out the low hum of their voices. They quickly stopped speaking to her just offering her comforting smiles as they worked. She knew she must have been loud with her hisses and yelps of pain as they began to remove blackened pieces of cloth from her legs and chest, and small pieces of metal from throughout her body.
Nerdy man was back as soon as the nurses let him past. Again her hand was in his as he talked to her and tried to smile at her. She blinked at him blankly, she couldn’t hear him… the nurses must have said as much, a doctor had even looked in her ears. Why was he bothering? Who was he, why did he seem so upset by her blank stare? He lifted a hand from hers and brushed his fingers along her cheek, she jerked her head back at the motion. Holding her hand was one thing, to touch her face when she didn’t even know him was another. The man quickly moved his hand back looking at her questioningly; hurt clear in his brown eyes.
A nurse quickly joined them injecting something into her IV, it wasn’t until her eyes began to shut that she recognized the burn in her throat and realized she had been yelling. What she had yelled she had no idea, nor did she care as her eyes drifted closed.
---Line Break---
The next time the young woman awoke she was in a room. She scanned the room with squinted eyes, she couldn’t see much of anything clearly, no she would need her glasses for that. Glasses she had left behind in the burning warehouse she had woken in originally. She cursed her stupidity her eyes landing on a man reading a book beside her, she could hear the turn of the page every few moments, far too quickly for anyone to actually read she suspected. Blinking back the haze of sleep… or drugs, yeah definitely drugs, she recognized the man.
Why was Nerdy man by her bedside again? She blinked at him staring silently until he glanced up as the beeping of her heart monitor sped up as she tried to figure out who he was. Those brown eyes that seemed so very precious to her though she knew not why locked with hers. A relieved smile split the man’s face as she immediately set the book he’d been holding aside.
“Y/N?” His voice fit him, his long lanky form straightening as he grasped her hand once again. Y/N? Who was Y/N? Was she Y/N? The woman blinked fear flickering through her as she realized she didn’t know… what was her name? How old was she? When was her birthday? Who was the man sitting next to her? “Whoa, hey it’s okay, you’re safe, we’re safe.” Nerdy man quickly reached out cupping her cheek in his large hand his long fingers gently caressing her skin as she began to hyperventilate.
“Who are you?” She managed to rasp out past her smoke damaged throat. Brown eyes widened at her question his hand quickly falling from her cheek as he gazed into her eyes worriedly.
“Y/N? It’s me, Spencer.” Spencer… the name fit, recognition pinged in the back of her mind, though the sensation was short and fleeting gone before she could grasp it.
“I… am I Y/N?” She swallowed thickly speaking her words slowly, she could hear the fear in her voice, it was almost solid it was so thick. Nerdy man… no, Spencer closed his eyes clearly blinking back panicked tears as he took a deep breath then nodded.
“Yes, you’re Y/N. I’ll be right back.” He quickly stood striding out of the room in long strides on long legs. Though blurred Y/N couldn’t help but note he had a very nice ass… shut up, Y/N, this isn’t the time. She chastised herself surprised how quickly she accepted her new… or old name. It felt like a long while before Spencer returned followed by two men, one clearly a doctor in a white coat the other a man in what was clearly a suit, though he had the tie and jacket draped over his arm.
“Hello, Agent Y/L/N, my name is Doctor Lynn; Spencer here tells me you don’t remember him?” The doctor asked slowly giving her a content smile. Y/N shakes her head silently noting the deep frown on the suited older man’s face and the pain that quickly covered Spencer’s face. “Agent Y/L/N do you know where you are?”
“A hospital… is Y/L/N my last name?” Her eyes move to Spencer as she asks the question, he had stood by her through everything from the moment she’d stumbled out of the warehouse too lying in the bed she was now in. He was who she trusted to answer her honestly.
“Yes,” Spencer said clearly though his voice rasped with unshed tears. Suit man placed a hand on his arm reassuringly.
“Agent Y/L/N, can you tell me what you remember about yourself?”
“I… I have H/C hair…” She responds after a moment of thought, small flashes of cutting off long H/C locks in a bathroom, a school bathroom as a teenager flashing through her mind, “I wear glasses… I left them in the warehouse… I couldn’t fully remember them so I didn’t pick them up.” She adds after a moment.
“Well you’re correct on those counts. Agent Hotchner, Dr. Reid could you please wait in the waiting room?” Both men shared wary looks but nodded leaving the room. The suited man shooting her a caring smile on his way out. The next few hours… at least it felt like hours were spent being whisked through the hospital from one machine to another then back again. Nurses explained what they were doing every step of the way, every hour she was asked if the remembered the three words the doctor had told her before her bed had been rolled from her room. Spoon, House, Rock. She passed with flying colors or so her Nurse, Rebecca Jones informed after each memory check.
“It seems you have amnesia Agent Y/L/N. We believe it was caused by the head injury you received in the blast along with brain damage caused by multiple seizures you experienced in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.” Dr. Lynn explained slowly and simply making sure she nodded before continuing. “You seem to be forming new memories and retaining information perfectly well, which is a surprise considering your ADHD, making us believe your experiencing retrograde amnesia, your bouts of recognition also assure us your symptoms are temporary.”
“So I’ll get my memories back?”
“You should, I can’t promise you’ll get them all back, you’ll likely never remember the moments before the blast, but overall we have high hopes for your prognosis, Agent Y/L/N.” They discussed more technical things such as bringing in a social worker and psychologist to determine if she is mentally sound enough to be in charge of herself or if her medical power of attorney would need to be brought in. It was quickly determined she would need to be placed under her medical power of attorney’s power until she at least remembered more about herself and her life. From there though she was informed of everything being done and all conversations she was not a part of them.
Normally she’d have been furious about this she suspected but considering she couldn’t even remembered her damn birthday let alone what medications she was one, where she worked, or any of her family she agreed this was probably for the best. She didn’t see Spencer or suit man again until the next day; they came into the room cleaned up and in fresh clothes.
“Hey, Y/N how you feeling?” Suit man asked smiling at her.
“Like I was blown up… which I was so that seems pretty apt.” She shrugs in response. She had learned she had second degree burns covering both her legs and a good portion of her chest. She had also been riddled with shrapnel though all of it had been removed and the cut’s either sewn or glued closed and covered. She was told she could be released in about forty eight hours when she’d been woken for the billionth time by her nurse that morning. All her wounds could be managed outside the hospital but they wanted to keep her a few days due to her concussion.
“Memories or not you’re still you.” Suit man snorts with a small grin.
“Good to know. So which of you is my medical power of attorney? They said you two were handling my affairs so I assume it’s gotta be one of ya?”
“I am, I uh… we made each other our power of attorney’s when we moved in together.” Spencer spoke up nervously. Y/N’s eyebrow rose at his words… moved in together? Her mind flicked to the sense of comfort she got from him clutching her hand, the way her mind immediately jumped to… less than appropriate thoughts when looking at his very fine ass, and the way he hand caressed her cheek. Oh… oh, that made a lot more sense now.
“Dating, engaged, or married?” She asked calmly smiling as he immediately turned bright red and started stuttering over himself.
“You two are married.” Suit man snorted. Y/N nodded slowly, thinking hard she could remember a wedding dress, blue flowers… forget-me-nots… huh ironic she snorted at the memory before smiling. It may have only been flashes but the memories brought joy, so very much joy.
“What are you smiling about?” Spencer finally found his voice sitting beside her in the same chair he’d been sat in the night before.
“I was trying to remember, forget-me-nots… at our wedding? A bit ironic now wouldn’t you say?” She asked with a small laugh. Spencer’s face lit up at her words as he chuckled along with her.
“I’ve never known anything to fit the meaning of the word better.”
“I mean, the odds, we tempted fate with that one didn’t we?”
“Clearly...” He took her hand in his squeezing it. “Do you… remember anything else?”
“My dress, at least I’m assuming I was the one in the dress,” She raises an eyebrow her eyes moving up and down his slim form. “Though I’m sure you’d look very beautiful in one.” The laughter from her other side was sudden and quickly covered up with a cough as suit guy quickly left the room.
“Your dress… I don’t wear dresses” Spencer quickly confirmed his own amused smile blindingly bright. Maybe, just maybe she could get through this after all?
 ______________________________________________________ AN: Hey Everyone I know it’s been years since I posted but I’m back with this little story I suddenly had the urge to write at 3 am. I plan to post the original version of this which is with my original character as well for anyone interested in that. I may make a part 2 if people are interested, and if not then the one with my character will probably at least get a part two. I hope you all enjoy!
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sodadrabbles · 3 years
Note
hear me out- one more littleboo but like if they were crying or like going through smt and ranboo just helps//comforts them if that makes sense? GEHDDH okay have a good day :]
THE PEOPLE DEMAND HURT/COMFORT. I SHALL FEED YOU, MY PEOPLE
Also, I wanted to address why I use ‘Ranboo’ in these fics, when referring to the actual CC- We don’t know Ranboo’s real name. I want to respect his wishes and not speculate, because that’s creepy. So, I just use Ranboo. A couple people were asking in my inbox. I know Tubbo said his name was Mark, but that was never confirmed, and, again, I don’t want to speculate on his personal information, that’s WEIRD.
LIttleboo IV: Hurt/comfort or bust.
Pairing: Ranboo x sibling!Reader (gender-neutral)!
Rating: Soft. Bad ending, I’m so sorry (NOT ANGST, IM JUST BAD AT WRITING)
Summary: Being a freshman sucks ass, but Ranboo bought taco bell, it’s all good.
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To say today was a bad day would be an understatement. It was probably the most terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day of your 14-year-old life. The whole day the universe would launch bad thing after bad thing at you, as if it was somehow testing you in your will to deal with bullshit. Like it was asking you ‘What are you willing to put up with today?’
Your answer was ‘Not fucking this.’
You woke up to your brother shaking you softly, telling you the power had gone out and you were both late. For an upperclassman this wasn’t a big deal- But you were a freshman. Your teachers were going to give you absolute hell for being late, and knowing Ranboo was going to get off scot-free made you a little salty. You had to skip breakfast and had to leave with your hair still a bit messy, barely able to comb through it with your fingers while Ranboo drove you both to school.
Then there was a pop quiz first period- English. You were never terrible at english, but being on the topic of the last three chapters of the book you were reading for class- Chapters which you had not read yet- The test had been a little difficult. Not to mention the hunger clawing at your stomach, and the strange fog that was settled about your thoughts.
You thought you could catch a break through second period and lunch, knowing Chemistry would be an easy day and you could grab something good with your brother, but fate had other plans in mind.
During Chemistry, you were tasked with picking a partner and completing an experiment afterthought worksheet, going over the experiment you had done in class the day before. You were paired with the nice girl sat next to you- At least you thought she was nice. As the teacher dismissed the class to begin talking amongst themselves, you turned to start asking her how her experiment went yesterday. You didn’t have a chance to ask, however, as the girl snapped at you harshly. “Don’t even bother! I’m not doing this assignment. Do it on your own.”
Her voice was pitched and loud, and it caused you to wince back. You tilt your head and try to ask her, but she cuts you off by flicking the paper in your direction. It sends both your papers flying, and you try to catch them, but fail miserably and fall out of your chair unceremoniously. As you fall, your foot comes up to counter balance and you nearly kick the girl in the head- Keyword being nearly. You were sure you were able to stop yourself, and hadn’t touched it, but still the girl screeches and begins screaming bloody murder. The teacher comes over to check what’s going on, the girl sobbing and holding her head.
And then she lies through her teeth.
“Sir, she just kicked me! I was just asking about her experiment and she kicks me!”
She’s sobbing dramatically, and though you’re clearly not at fault, considering it was clear you had fallen out of your chair. Even still the teacher sides with her, giving you a short and disappointing talk about violent behaviour in the classroom, ending with “I have no choice but to give you lunch detention and a zero on the assignment.”
You don’t try to argue- Exhaustion was already settling on your body and you didn’t want to just make the situation worse than it already was. The rest of second period dragged on like a snail. You sat awkwardly at your table, twiddling your thumbs and staring at the walls. You could feel eyes boring into the back of your skull with each passing glance at the students. A few whispers that seemed much too loud yet indecipherable hitting your ears, somehow knowing deep in your soul that the other students were whispering about you. By the time the lunch bell rang you were starting to feel tears prick at your eyes as your own thoughts betrayed you.
During lunch detention, you were at the very least allowed your phone. You texted your brother, alerting him that you had lunch detention. He promised to bring you food before your third period began- The gesture brought a smile to your face. Your third period was your favorite, because Ranboo was also taking that class. US History. You were able to push through detention with Philza’s stream, starting a TTS war with Wilbur in the time you were able to watch. Of course, mentioning you were in detention earned you a little rant from Phil, not doing much to better your mood.
When third period came down to bless you, you could feel the tears welling in your eyes at the happy sight of your tall older brother holding a taco bell bag in his hand. You basically tackled him, nearly knocking him to the ground. His arms flew around you for stability, and you gripped the back of his shirt as an involuntary sob came out of your mouth. 
Ranboo stared down at you with his brows furrowed with concern, his mouth pulled into a tight frown. He pushed you to the side to allow other students to get into the classroom, and released you from the hug to look you in the face. Your eyes were puffy and your cheeks and nose were red, stray tears still rolling down your cheeks. He wiped one away.
“(Y/N), what happened? Why are you crying?” He asked, your eyes avoiding him. You hated to cry in front of people- But the stress of the day weighed heavy on your shoulders. You had just gotten too excited. When you explained this, Ranboo shook his head. “(Y/N) it’s perfectly okay, you don’t have to apologize.”
He hugged you again, and you hugged him back. After standing there for a moment, the annoying ring of the school bell sounded overheard, alerting you that class was starting.
“Tell you what,” Ranboo beamed at you, picking up the bag of food. “We’re gonna go in there, annoy Mr. Anderson, and eat chalupas until we explode. Sound good?”
You smile and nod your head. God, your older brother is so cool.
---
The rest of the day was smooth as it could be. You spent all of third period messing around with Ranboo- The assignment given for the day forgotten as homework that you would sit down and do together before Ranboo had to stream. You feared that your fourth period, Algebra, would once again break you down into a ball of anxiety and terror. But to your pleasant surprise, you would be watching a movie with a substitute for that class.
Your mood had been significantly raised by the time the bell had rung, releasing you from the confines of the building. You packed your things quietly, the hustle and bustle of an emptying school occupying your senses. You had rushed down through the hallways towards to doors leading to student parking. Ranboo was supposed to be waiting for you at the car.
But before you could reach the door, you felt a hand grip your bag, pulling you backwards. Your feet flew out from under you as you fell to the ground, your bag being ripped from your shoulders. You felt you back collide with the cold, tiled ground, pain shooting through spine. 
Shrill giggling sounds from above you. You groan and roll onto your front, staring up at a group of three girls laughing at you. You recognized the one holding your bag from your chemistry class. By the looks of the other two, they were also freshmen. You try to get on your feet, but the girl swings her leg, knocking your hands out from under you. You feel something press against your back. 
The girl from your class laughs as she bends down to look at you. “You thought you could get away with that little stunt?” She sneers, her hand grabbing your face. Not able to think of anything else to do, you snap your jaws, nearly biting her. She screeches and backs away.
“DID YOU JUST TRY TO BITE ME?” She screams, her face twisted in disgust. You feel the presume on your back worsen, and you strain your neck to see who was standing on your back. You recognized the guy as a junior on the soccer team. You vaguely recalled the girl mentioned she was dating a guy on the soccer team. 
You squirm, freeing your hands from underneath you. Just as you were about to grab the guy’s leg, you hear a familiar voice shout. The three girls in front of you scatter like rats- But the soccer player stays. He turns to look at whoever shouted, his chest puffing out as if he’s prepared for a fight. However the color seems to drain from his face when he sees the mystery person- And he runs away like a dog with its tail between its legs.
As you start to stand, someone grabs you by the shoulders and helps you up. You’re met with the mop of brown hair and concerned gray eyes of your older brother. He helps you to your feet, handing you your bag. You thank him as you throw the bag over your shoulders, giving your older brother a tight hug.
You don’t even realize there were tears in your eyes again, until Ranboo tells you to dry your eyes. “Sorry…” You whisper, hand wiping away the water. “I don’t know why I’m crying.
Ranboo smiles at you again, his hand patting the top of your head. You smile at him too, and he leads you out of the school, asking if you’re alright or if anything hurts. You spend the walk to the car feeling grateful you have someone to help you out like that. It has you smiling to entire ride home.
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thatgoblin · 3 years
Text
Drown
Zemo x Reader Fic
Summary: You’re on a team with Bucky, Sam, and Zemo to hunt down and find super soldiers or scientists trying to make them. When split up from the group, you’re attacked and put in danger. Zemo to the rescue.
Warning: Near death experience, drowning, vomit, hospital
Words: 1623
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The last thing you remember is splitting up from the group. 
You, Sam, Bucky, and Zemo were once again hunting down scientists who were selling super soldier serum. Somehow Bucky had made a deal with the Wakandan’s and Germany to have Zemo out of prison, but working for them. If he tried to flee, he’d go back with the deal broken. If he didn’t follow orders, back to prison. The whole affair was simple. Also the tracker they implanted in him would keep him under tabs as well.
The four of you had searched through an abandoned water treatment plant that your leads had taken you to. With your psychic powers, you were able to judge that the people giving you the information weren’t lying that the scientists were there. What you weren’t able to do was see their minds directly and know that it was a trap.
As soon as you strayed from the group, you were jumped and knocked in the head. 
You weren’t sure how long you had been out, but it couldn’t have been that long. Groaning, you push yourself up to your hands and knees before reaching back to feel the giant goose egg on the back of your head. There wasn’t really any bleeding so stitches weren’t necessary. Standing up, you take in your surroundings as your stomach falls. There is a large, grated pipe but that is it. Looking up to see the light source you saw you are maybe 12 or 15 feet down a shaft with smooth walls. The top has a similar grate to the pipe that was in the hole with you, meaning as soon as water started to come in, you were trapped.
“Hello!? Can anyone hear me!?” You scream, checking your person to find that your weapons and tools are gone. Whoever it was that had captured you had even taken your boots as well. All you can do is stand there in the bottom of nearly freezing cold water, barefoot, and scream. 
No one is answering. Had they been captured as well? You hope not. A quick pull on the grate of the nearby pipe shatters any hope of possibly trying to get out that way. There is no way you can pull it out, you didn’t have Bucky’s strength. The grate at the top is probably locked as well. The only way to find out for sure would be to wait for the water to rise till you could test it, but even then you’d be screwed in the likelihood that it was locked. 
“Bucky! Sam! Hello!?” You scream. “Somebody help!” 
Just like you feared, after a bit of yelling, the water was turned on. It didn’t rush out at full blast, no, it wasn’t going to be a fast death. 
“Help!” You keep screaming despite the water nearly drowning your voice out. After just barely five minutes the water is up to your waist, stoking your panic. “Bucky! Sam! Please!”
Tears were starting to come as the water is up to your chest. You could swim and hold your breath for at least 5 minutes, Nat had made sure you could swim sufficiently as well as hold your breath in case of being on a boat or the open water when she had trained you when the Avengers were still together. But would five minutes be the difference between living and dying?
Treading water, you watch as the grate comes closer and closer to your head. Still, you keep yelling for help.
“Sam! Zemo!” You scream as you have a few feet left between you and the grate. “Help!”
Footsteps thunder towards you, giving you hope as Zemo came into view. 
“Get me out of here! Please!” You cry as you are able to grab the grate. 
“It’s locked,” Zemo says, going right to work. “I can’t shoot it, it’s too thick.” You watch as he looks around before putting a finger to his ear piece. “James, I need you in the well room. Y/N is locked in a large water well and I need help.” 
“Check the lockers! Maybe there’s bolt cutters!” You cry, panic pressing on your chest just as much as the water was. “There’s gotta be something!” Zemo is quick to follow any suggestion, checking everywhere in and out of the room. 
“Damn it James, where are you!?” He curses as he comes back empty handed. 
“Zemo,” you choke as you press your face to the grate, trying to keep breath. He drops to his knees next to you, grabbing your hand and holding it. It was a small comfort as you took the biggest breath you can before the water covers your face.
“Shit,” Sam hiss as he and Bucky run in. You can hear them yelling and see Bucky and Sam trying to pry the lock open. Zemo never lets go of your hand, even as you squeeze it with both of yours, your lungs burning as your vision becomes spotty. Air forces its way out of you in choking coughs as your body tries to breath. You try to keep a hold of Zemo’s hand as he yells words you don’t understand at you, but it was getting hard very quickly to keep your grasp. 
On the edge of blackness, you can hear the three men yelling your name as your hands went limp. It was painful and also strange. Like you were floating with knives stabbing your from the inside out. Before you could succumb to whatever entity would be waiting for you, the grate was lifted and you were pulled out. 
“Y/N!” Zemo cries as he starts to perform CPR on you. “No, no, no. Now is not your time,” he growls. You can hear him, you can hear and see all of them. Sam is trying to get a medic evac for you as Bucky is right next to Zemo, saying your name and begging you to come back. 
Instead of floating away, leaving everything behind, you feel someone behind you shove you towards your body with a tired sigh. ‘Not yet.’ The voice says.
In a flash of light you are back, jolting up and coughing out the water. Zemo rolls you to your side as your lungs work to get the water out and air in. 
“Oh thank fuck,” Bucky breathes, helping Zemo hold you as your body began to wake up. 
“That’s it, keep coughing it up. Good y/g. Good y/g,” Zemo says as he rubs your back. “They need to go to a hospital. They have swallowed enough water to have secondary drowning, possibly.” 
“Helicopter is on its way,” Sam says. Looking around, you aren’t back to fully functioning. You’re light headed and dizzy, nauseous and weak. A moment later, anything in your stomach came up, making Zemo hold you on your side longer.
“Spit it out, don’t breathe it in,” Bucky says, going as far as to dig the sickness from out of your mouth to make sure you don’t choke. 
“They’re here, we need to get them outside,” Sam says, motioning them. With help, Zemo lifts you into his arms to take you to the medic, Bucky following closely behind. 
Passing out again, you don’t remember much. There were brief flashes of looking up to see Zemo’s worried face next to Bucky’s and Sam’s, the doctor’s that work on you, even the night sky as you’re wheeled into a hospital. 
It wasn’t until you are settled completely in the hospital room that you wake up completely. There is the steady beating of the heart monitor and soft voices beyond a door. You try to swallow, but feel something obstructing you. It’s a tube taped to the outside of your mouth, leading in and down your throat. Had you been so bad that they had to intubate you? Looking down, you see the wires and IV taped to your hand as well. Well, you had nearly died, so it was called for. 
“Welcome back to the land of the living.” 
Were you not so lethargic, you would have jumped at the voice. Looking over to the chair next to you, you see Zemo. Sitting in the god-awful hospital chairs with a book in hand, he looks like he’d been killing time at a bus stop and not waiting on you to wake up. 
You raise your free hand slightly, the tube making it impossible to talk. He places a bookmark between the pages he was reading before setting the book aside to stand. 
“The doctor said you’d have the breathing aid in till you woke up,” he says, moving close to the side of your bed. Picking up a pad of paper and a pen from a side table, he hands it to you. 
‘Where B+S?’ You write.
“They went after the scientists. Once you were here and stable, I volunteered to stay behind with you. It wouldn’t be in your best interest to wake up to a strange place with wires and tubes inside you,” Zemo says. “I’ll call the nurse to let them know that you’ve woken up. I imagine that you aren’t very comfortable with the breathing tube.” You nod slightly, hoping to be able to talk. Once the call button is hit, you scribble onto the pad before tapping Zemo’s hand.
His eyes dart down to your words before a soft smile forms on his face. “You’re welcome, Y/N. Besides, I didn’t want to lose the only member of the team I liked,” he says with a wink.
The last thing you expect is to be Zemo’s favorite, but if you have to tell the truth, you don’t mind it so much.
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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years
Text
Delivery HCs with 1-A’s Big Three
A/N: Maybe I’m a bit biased because I want to be a pediatrician when I’m older, but I think children are the true gems of the world. I’ve seen a few deliveries in my life, and it’s a moment that not even magic can explain. I can only imagine what it’s like for the parents--to see the baby you’d start a war for if need be. So, here’s my attempt to translate that special love within a headcanon. 
Enjoy and continue to stay safe honey bunnies
Also, remember to thank a (good) mother for being literal superheroes once in awhile. Delivering is no joke!
Warnings: all the wonderful things that come with pushing a baby out of a 3-4in hole
All characters are aged 18+
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Midoryia Izuku:
when you and your husband got to the hospital, the nurses were suprised to find you laughing and your husband muttering 
they soon came to find out he was reciting how to books about delivery
word-for-word
the buff, muscley, #1 hero who scared villains into a crime rate of 2% was wiggling his knees in fear every time you had a contraction
he was running around, calling his friends and family about how he was going to combust
asked you every five minutes if you were ready to push 
“izu, honey, i don’t think it works like that”
“true....but are you ready?”
it was funny
but it stopped being funny after 14 hours of labor, when the contractions got really bad
now you were just snapping at izuku to quiet down otherwise you’d united states smash his face in
him: 😧
the nurses: 👀
he knows you’re in pain but damn 
it’s a relief when you get the epidural 
after that, it was a relatively smooth birth 
it still hurt like hell, but your husband is holding your hand, giving you encouraging kisses
one final push and the baby is out
immediately, the little boy is screaming his head off making his presence known
you let your head fall back with a relieved sigh as your body works to get the placenta out
whiles you do tiny pushes, izuku is in a love-struck daze as he stares at your son
it’s like he has tunnel vision
suddenly, nothing in his life was ever more important than this tiny little human who couldn’t weigh more than his left hand
the nurses hand you your son and you laugh through your happy tears
“it looks like i’ve got two cry-babies to deal with now” you lovingly smile
izuku is on his knees, sobbing, kissing your forehead and rubbing his finger against his child’s cheek
he’s so thankful
he’s so very thankful, he doesn’t even know how to comprehend it
you’re the best hero in his eyes
“he’s so beautiful” he repeats, like a broken record
there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you or his son
he silently makes an oath to do everything in his power to see his family smile with security every day
izuku feels like he finally knows what being #1 truly is
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Bakugo Katsuki:
pregnancy wasn’t easy for you 
having twins wasn’t rare, but it made the process riskier
giving birth is still quite dangerous, like women are superheroes bruh
due to forseen complications, you were scheduled for a c-section 
unfortunately, you’re blood pressure sky-rocketed and you had to deliver your babies two weeks early
on the way to the hospital, your contractions were tearing you apart
during each shake and scream you gave, katsuki would hold your shoulder and let you dig your nails into his arms
he took it without complaint
it was like you were a different person when a contraction hit
you never complained about the pain, but he could tell you wanted it to end with how your head would fall like dead weight
never admits to the few tears that slipped past his cheeks
he never wanted to see you like this again 
when you make it to the hospital, they wheel you into the surgery room and he follows after
is relieved to see that you can no longer feel the contractions
in fact, even with all the IVs in you, you seem a lot better--more alert
he makes his way over to you 
“sorry for the car ride. i think i drooled. i probably looked gross. still do” you joke
he speaks in the softest voice you’ve ever heard, kiss your dry lips
“no baby, you look beauitful” 
and he means it
you do. you’re the most beautiful woman he knows
you feel a lot of pressure as they take the babies out, but once they do, the sounds of your children make you tear up
bakugo is frozen as he watches his babies, one boy one girl, get cleaned up
there’s a softness in the air as the nurses lay the boy on your chest and the girl in katsuki’s arms
your heart explodes with so much love that the heart monitor does a little jump that makes everyone laugh
but katsuki makes a pained expression before lowering himself so that his forehead rests beside your ear
he can’t tell what he’s feeling bc he’s felt love before but this was different
this was so overwhelming that it sent his knees buckling
you use your free hand to smooth down his hair as he cries 
“thank you” is all he’s able to say until the tears are gone
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Todoroki Shouto:
when shouto looks back on one of the happiest days of his life, all he feels is shame and embarrassment 
he was just doing everything wrong that day
no thoughts, head empty
of course you had to go into labor the day he decided to take a tiny job 30 fucking minutes away from the hospital 
he made it to you in 20, he broke several laws to do it
when he gets to the hosptial, he can barely talk 
the nurses had to call you to make sure this crazy man was actually the father of your child
misses the baby floor twice
walks into the wrong room three times bc he forgot how to read
when he finally makes it to your room, he’s fed up with himself 
“what took you so long? the front desk called me, like, ten minutes ago”
“i don’t wanna talk about it”
“are you having an attitude with me right now? when i’m about to deliver your child?”
shouto: ☹️
shutting up was the smartest thing he did that day
when the 15th hour of labor hit and you were gripping your husband, screaming and rocking on your knees for any type of relief, todoroki was nearly begging you to take the drugs 
“sweetheart, please consider the epidural”
“no, shouto. i’m doing this without one”
“why do you want to suffer when technology and modern medicine--”
“todoroki shouto, you give me one more lesson about modern medicine and i’ll rip your quirk right out of you”
“i dont think that’s--”
the nurse finally chimes in: “sir, i mean this in the nicest way possible. shut up”
after 24 grueling hours, you’re pushing
it’s taking everything within shouto not to pass out from the blood, the screaming, and how tight you’re squeezing his hand 
the baby is out and crying her little head off
you’re happy it’s all over and shouto should be too
but he’s going over the past 48hrs and letting it confirm how he’s just not set up to be a father 
he’s almost grateful that you would hold her first bc he doesnt want to screw up more than he already has, but you have a different idea
understanding the emotions and self-doubt reflected on his face, you say 
“shouto, i want you to hold her first”
he’s shocked and starts his stuttering, but the nurse is already on it
“you heard mama, open your arms big guy”
once the nurse helps him find a good hold, todoroki doesnt even notice the tears falling down his cheeks
“look at you,” you sniff. “you’re a natural”
his eyes are wide with child-like wonder and he manages to give you a trembling smile 
“you think so?” you nod and he’s smiling so big, you wanna take a picture. “she’s so beautiful, just like her mother”
he leans down to kiss you 
wonders what he did in his past life to deserve the love he was given the chance to feel today
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kellyvela · 3 years
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Hi! I wanted to ask you something. Jon and Sansa thinking about having children and having domestic life with their respective partners is a strong foreshadowing for jonsa. Then there was Jeyne W who also told Cat that Robb was going to name their firstborn after Ned. While Robb is dead, it's not sure if jeyne is pregnant. Sansa didn't married to Willas and Jon will not gonna steal Val. Do you think it's foreshadowing something?
Before actually answering your question, I think we can't compare Robb and Jeyne, who willingly married, actively tried to have a baby, and were arguably in love, to Sansa and Willas (they never met, they never married, they weren't in love), and Jon and Val (they never had sex, they never married, they weren't in love).
Also, while having the wish to name their children after their late father and siblings, Sansa couldn't stop thinking about Loras, not Willas; and Jon wished Ygritte were alive so he could marry her instead of Val.
And Loras is a stand in for Jon the same way Ygritte is an stand in for Sansa.
. . .
"A king must have an heir."
Jeyne Westerling told Catelyn that Robb was going to name their firstborn after Ned???
Are you talking about this passage???
"Jeyne," she called after, "there's one more thing Robb needs from you, though he may not know it yet himself. A king must have an heir."
The girl smiled at that. "My mother says the same. She makes a posset for me, herbs and milk and ale, to help make me fertile. I drink it every morning. I told Robb I'm sure to give him twins. An Eddard and a Brandon. He liked that, I think. We . . . we try most every day, my lady. Sometimes twice or more." The girl blushed very prettily. "I'll be with child soon, I promise. I pray to our Mother Above, every night."
—A Storm of Swords - Catelyn III
Because it was Jeyne who told Catelyn that she (Jeyne) was sure to give Robb twins to be named Eddard and Brandon, and that she thought Robb liked her idea (Jeyne's idea).
We don't know if Jeyne Westerling was, at some point, pregnant or not.
With all the Tully super fertility references, Jeyne could have been pregnant, but, as you can read in the quote above, her mother Sybell Spicer was giving her an abortifacient all the time, and sadly, that's what happened to Lysa Tully in the past... That's why a guilty Hoster Tully repeats "Tansy" in his sickbed several times, since "Tansy" was an ingredient of the abortifacient that Lysa took all those years ago...
The Lannister not only plotted to kill the King in the North, but also to prevent that said king have an heir... Sybell Spicer and the abortifacient were part of the plot.
And if there was still the slightest chance that Jeyne was pregnant with Robb Stark's heir, the Lannister would not hesitate to kill the unborn child and the mother, if necessary.
Actually, I'm afraid that in the next Book Jeyne Westerling will die anyway...
Now, Robb also used the same phrase "A king must have an heir." while later talking with Catelyn about the North's Succession, and guess who were the ones actively mentioned during that conversation? Any thoughts?
The answering is, a "Lady Lannister" (lol) and a "bastard Snow". Let's see:
"I had hoped to leave Jeyne with child . . . we tried often enough, but I'm not certain . . ."
"It does not always happen the first time." Though it did with you. "Nor even the hundredth. You are very young."
"Young, and a king," he said. "A king must have an heir. If I should die in my next battle, the kingdom must not die with me. By law Sansa is next in line of succession, so Winterfell and the north would pass to her." His mouth tightened. "To her, and her lord husband. Tyrion Lannister. I cannot allow that. I will not allow that. That dwarf must never have the north."
"No," Catelyn agreed. "You must name another heir, until such time as Jeyne gives you a son." She considered a moment. "Your father's father had no siblings, but his father had a sister who married a younger son of Lord Raymar Royce, of the junior branch. They had three daughters, all of whom wed Vale lordlings. A Waynwood and a Corbray, for certain. The youngest . . . it might have been a Templeton, but . . ."
“Mother.” There was a sharpness in Robb’s tone. “You forget. My father had four sons.”
She had not forgotten; she had not wanted to look at it, yet there it was. “A Snow is not a Stark.”
“Jon’s more a Stark than some lordlings from the Vale who have never so much as set eyes on Winterfell.”
“Jon is a brother of the Night’s Watch, sworn to take no wife and hold no lands. Those who take the black serve for life.”
“So do the knights of the Kingsguard. That did not stop the Lannisters from stripping the white cloaks from Ser Barristan Selmy and Ser Boros Blount when they had no more use for them. If I send the Watch a hundred men in Jon’s place, I’ll wager they find some way to release him from his vows.”
He is set on this. Catelyn knew how stubborn her son could be. “A bastard cannot inherit.”
“Not unless he’s legitimized by a royal decree,” said Robb. “There is more precedent for that than for releasing a Sworn Brother from his oath.”
“Precedent,” she said bitterly. “Yes, Aegon the Fourth legitimized all his bastards on his deathbed. And how much pain, grief, war, and murder grew from that? I know you trust Jon. But can you trust his sons? Or their sons? The Blackfyre pretenders troubled the Targaryens for five generations, until Barristan the Bold slew the last of them on the Stepstones. If you make Jon legitimate, there is no way to turn him bastard again. Should he wed and breed, any sons you may have by Jeyne will never be safe.”
“Jon would never harm a son of mine.”
“No more than Theon Greyjoy would harm Bran or Rickon?”
Grey Wind leapt up atop King Tristifer’s crypt, his teeth bared. Robb’s own face was cold. “That is as cruel as it is unfair. Jon is no Theon.”
“So you pray. Have you considered your sisters? What of their rights? I agree that the north must not be permitted to pass to the Imp, but what of Arya? By law, she comes after Sansa … your own sister, trueborn …”
“… and dead. No one has seen or heard of Arya since they cut Father’s head off. Why do you lie to yourself? Arya’s gone, the same as Bran and Rickon, and they’ll kill Sansa too once the dwarf gets a child from her. Jon is the only brother that remains to me. Should I die without issue, I want him to succeed me as King in the North. I had hoped you would support my choice.”
“I cannot,” she said. “In all else, Robb. In everything. But not in this … this folly. Do not ask it.”
“I don’t have to. I’m the king.” Robb turned and walked off, Grey Wind bounding down from the tomb and loping after him.
—A Storm of Swords - Catelyn V
As you can see from the quote above, Robb and Catelyn were pushing to prevent Sansa or Jon from inheriting Winterfell and the North after Robb. For Robb, the problem was that Sansa was "Lady Lannister," and for Catelyn, the problem was that Jon was a bastard "Snow," and a brother of the Night's Watch.
Ironically, Robb ended up losing Winterfell and the North, and it will be precisely Sansa (the Lannister by marriage) and Jon (the bastard Snow) the ones retaking the ancestral seat and all the lands of House Stark, and I suspect they will do it together.
Indeed, Robb and Catelyn's conversation is also very telling because Robb said: "By law Sansa is next in line of succession, so Winterfell and the north would pass to her". But since Sansa was married to Tyrion Lannister, Robb had to name another heir, Jon.
Robb's reasoning is a contrast to Jon's reaction to the offer of getting Winterfell and the North.  Stannis Baratheon used the same argument (Sansa's marriage to Tyrion Lannister) to convince Jon to accept his offer to become a legitimized Stark and Lord of Winterfell, Stannis even called Sansa “Lady Lannister”, but no matter what, Jon didn’t accept Stannis's offer.
And what was Jon's answer?
“By right Winterfell should go to my sister Sansa.”
—A Dance with Dragons - Jon I
Jon said, “Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa.”
—A Dance with Dragons - Jon IV
Beautiful, isn't it?
And Jon and Sansa could also produce a new generation of Starks, honoring their late relatives by naming their children Eddard, Robb and Catelyn, the ones that are actually dead, because fortunately Arya, Bran and Rickon are still alive, even if Jon and Sansa believe they are all dead.
She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa's dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.
—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II
I would need to steal her if I wanted her love, but she might give me children. I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb. Val would want to keep her sister's son, but we could foster him at Winterfell, and Gilly's boy as well. Sam would never need to tell his lie. We'd find a place for Gilly too, and Sam could come visit her once a year or so. Mance's son and Craster's would grow up brothers, as I once did with Robb.
—A Storm of Swords - Jon XII
Be still my beating heart!
. . .
So if you're wondering if the sad fate of Jeyne Westerling and Robb, who had a similar wish to Sansa and Jon's wishes, to name their children after their late father and siblings, could mean something negative for Jon and Sansa in the future. The answer is no.
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