#also im now in GRAD school and moved
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im done w moving and out of the shitty apt w the shittier roommate (who did not let move out happen without adding as Much drama as possible) and have just. been feeling so much better. living w my two friends who actually communicate well and all work together on our needs and gah. so less stressed and anxious now!!! and also in a week kitty introductions have gotten farther than they ever did w shitty roommates kitties (they were kinda bullies, so we had to move glacial speed even w oregano cat expert) and just. thank u the universe things are so much better now
#only improvement would be if anjo Also lived here curse grad school!!!!!!#i moved out over a week ago but we just tuened in keys after cleaning day on sunday#and across just those two days bad roommate accused me of faking cleaning a part of something (that was not requested or clear)#tried to turn anjo against me by saying im a liar and manipulator and gaslighter (which. listen the last one i could say the fuckin same)#(which is also so funny bc anjo and i are so close. became codependent in a heart beat. why tf would u think anjo is gonna be on ur side)#then at the walkthru pointed out things that were damaged (which they are Alsonin on that security deposit what are u doing)#and the texted again accusing me of shit with a stupid fucking infographic on weaponized incompetance#thankfully like all of these i had my friends with me bc when infirst got there for cleaning i uhhhh had a panic attack lol#so i had good support thru everything and now never have to deal w them#its just. been So much lmao. and its so fucking nice how calm and smooth things have been#like i had that sort of shit. i in general am good at communicating and avoid shitty drama like this person#so its been So exhausting. but im done now thank god#and the new place is so much better and nicer and i love the friends im living w and Yeah :')
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my sister in law just sent me insomnia cookies cause I'm an idiot and i have to write two papers before midnight.... i will cry
#taylor is the only one who deserves human rights#thank u to her for being a real one#also i just submitted the first and am moving on to the second.#plan is to work for three hours#sleep#then get up at my usual time to haul ass to campus to finish it out before i present at 9am over zoom.#that gives me three hours now and 3 hours tomorrow.#then i sleep for 100 years#im ready for spring break#grad school is fun tho.
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ok the fic im working on is raindrop going out and getting ear piercings. here was the original brainworm: a lot of peoples ghouls have pointed ears and its soooo cute and also many have piercings which are especially cute on pointy ears, however (and this should surprise no one at all) whats the logistics of that? and then it spiraled out of control and became ice cream and ibuprofen
#beyond that i dont really remember how those ideas came together i think im just connecting everything recently#anyway i did go out and get a new piercing yesterday because it had been a while and why not#it was interesting it was the first time i had been to this place because its the first one i got since i finished grad school & moved#and a lot of the details were different#so now i guess i have a greater variety of experiences to draw from but i feel like most of the details are still going to come from the#first cartilage piercing i got which remains my ground truth#but also this time i didnt see a whole lot of what he was doing because he made me lie down so i genuinely dont know some of what happened#and he didnt make me look at the placement or anything i dont even think he marked it at all#also i was trying really hard to be social which compromised my information gathering mission somewhat just a little#its ok i got the memory refresh i wanted and i already had enough data to begin with so i can only learn more#right after he did it he said “you took that really well” which now im like 🤨 filing that away for reference
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turning 25 in November is going to be so weird. but also i am excited because 24 has been the best year of my life and i am finally learning who i am when im not living in a state of survival and fear <3
#the double edged sword of being like ah there’s shit i wish id have done in my early twenties but lost out on due to sad factors.#but also like wow look at all the things i can do now that i never thought would happen for me.#i have a job with friends i love in a city i love and im moving in with a man i love and im in grad school waaaaaaa
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Tattoo tattoo tattoo tattooo
#franposting#truly. truly i have been wanting this for a DECADE#and i keep putting it off. keep moving the goalposts#first it was if i could make it to 20 without kms#then grad school#then grad school part 2#and now????#i want it so bad#like. my nonna. but also. im my own person!!!! i want pretty art on my skin!!! forever!!!!#so many flowers and plants#and also. maybe. a sparrow on some forget me nots. iykyk im not subtle#maybe work the sparrow into a floral half sleeve ???#i need to set a day and just. fkin. do it#ugh. reading trc and Ronan projecting is NOT helping my crumbling resolve#altho. i work in a uh. let's say religious. workplace. sort of.#everyone is p old and no one else has (visible) tattoos#and i would hate to have to wear longsleeves everyday when it's hot#not to mention camisoles + sheer white poet blouses do not hide the upper arms#curse u dumb societal perceptions
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semester has just started and i am already deep in hell. undergraduate degrees are so evil
#it’s not even the triple major it’s just like im stressed about EVERYTHING even when there’s nothing going on#and recently i’ve been overcome with this longing to be anywhere else. i need to move out of this state and go to grad school where no one#knows me at all. start fresh. it’s not that i want to not see the people im around right now#it’s more that im having an identity crisis lol#and i feel so lonely even when im surrounded by ppl i care about#i wanna go somewhere where i have an excuse to feel lonely#…. also i just want to get my MA so i can focus exclusively on art history and not fucking gen eds#also im doing heavy statistics this semester for the first time in FOUR YEARS lmao#wish me luck pls and think good thoughts for me 😭#m.txt
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today i return to the sea
#mine#its my last first day of school (until/unless i go to grad school but thats way off if it even happens)#the rest of these tags are all just going to be complaints so keep scrolling if you dont gaf#ok first complaint. my schedule is stupid and awful i think#winters schedule was weird too. but this one kinda sucks#the main problem i see is that both of my main classes are in the middle of the day so theres probably going to be people eating#(i have mis0phon1a)#so thats number 1. 2nd problem is that those classes also have the grading scale where u need at least 95 PERCENT to get an A. girl!#they are also both 400 level spanish classes so theyre just going to be kind of hard and annoying and a lot of work in general#the next problem is that my other class is actually not quite a class it is a teaching practicum. which i didnt even 100% want to do#but the certificate could be useful so im doing it anyway.#one of the guys in that class (i know some of the students already from winter) eats like a hog for like the first 20-30 mins so thats goin#to be miserable i bet. also at some point im gonna have to teach a lesson myself#which is scary and also frustrating because again i didnt even really want to do this. WHATEVER#ok what else. ummmmm#oh i think i might be unemployed LOL normally my boss would have done schedule coordination stuff like last week but i havent heard from he#at all. this is because we are government funded and the government does not want to fund us anymore -_- suck my balls#and my hog too. so money is going to be a concern which is especially awesome because ive already been trying to save up#becaues im moving out this year hopefully so im gonna need $ for that and for probably upgrades like i might get a new phone and computer#and stuff etc. and i live in an HCOL area so even though i literally just buy groceries my bill is like $294358939358/month#SIGH. also of course the final problem on the list is the behemoth of them all: i have to apply for jobs#i made a little spreadsheet to hopefully make the process easier. but its going to be agony lol fucking resumes and cover letters how about#i just kill myself now -_- and fucking interviews too. fuuuuuck you suck my nuts and dick and balls#i dont know how im going to cope iwth any of this LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also as usual i have like no friends so its just me going it alo#alone* in this big awful spring. 2 and a half months of this.#i suppose i will need to go back to the dispensary.#fuuuuuuuuuck man
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Made the mistake of reading a reddit thread of a bunch of people talking about how easy and irritatingly unchallenging MLIS programs are and im filled with such dread and preemptive rage. I am not cut out for boredom and bullshit, and i kind of knew i was getting into something that was basically gonna be super easy and just busy work but now that im actually staring it down its so much worse :(
And my coworkers are all so excited for me and supportive and it’s already taking so much work to not sound like a total bitch when they ask me questions. Like no I’m not nervous about grad school because academia is a challenge, I’m nervous because if it isn’t challenging (which it rarely is) the boredom will turn me into a monster.
#i also like my little low hour shelver job right now too but i really want to move out in the next few years#and from what ive seen from people in the field it seems like its best to get jobs in the field while in the mlis program#because trying to after graduating is hard as hell#so its good im already here at least#and tbh i am just trading one no job field for another anyway cuz my ass was NOT getting a job in ecology either#but woe betide them if they make the mistake of asking the antisocial autist about accessibility issues in the library system#ecdysing#grad school misery#moss goes to school
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what will it take to just get to a point where i just have someone telling me exactly what to do for everything and i no longer have to think or make decisions
#even just picking an outfit every day is fucking exhausting#im so empty and so full of emotion at the same time i feel like if a black hole were a person#i dont want to keep going i want to stop and just. exist with no real world pressures or consequences#but i also know if i stop and i let myself lay down im not ever getting back up#i will deop out of school and move back in with my parents and be jobless and directionless and sad and angry for the rest of my life#text#theres nothing wrong w any of those things i just listed but put them all together#combined with the regret id inevitably feel over dropping out of my dream grad program. i just wouldn't be happy#i really hate the person i am now i miss who i was 7 weeks ago
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rnating. u can scroll past
i dont even kno where to begin everything is just bad and everything aches and everything is empty and each waking moment just feels Bad and its hard to sleep and the Bad feeling wakes me up in the middle of the night and its the first thing i feel when i wake up is just Bad and e mpty and its been over a month and when i say ive tried everything to feel better like i have lmao ive tried all thrhee types of antidepressants and ive tried nicotine and weed and positive reflection and gratefulness exercises and not self h*rming and doing physical exercise ive tried going out to socialize more often and scheduling time out for hobbies and ive tried surrounding myself with the color yellow and eatinng a better diet and keeping up with self care and getting therapy and staying hydrated all at once all at the same tiem and still still it feels like this and im really just. i really feel like it wont get better lmao this really feels like a brand new low and ive just been feeling like this for at least a decade if not longer and i hate living like this but nothing fucking helps in fact like i said ive felt worse than ever before it just doesnt feel like it will get better no matter what i do because i feel like ive done almost everything i could possibly do and it just hasnt worked. and i feel like its only going to get worse because the future is Ass like the news and the gov and the politics and the climate and working your whole life away for nothing and im so scared ill get a job that i dont like and make everything so much worse and im just so mad and sad because i switched out of my old phsics major bc it was too much for me and it destroyed my psyche bc me and my friends would like spend 6 hrs after class in the student tutor room trying to get help for one proble and the tutrs didnt even know how to solve it and i was like i cant throuw my youth away doing this because i already did that in high school and it got me fucking nowhere so i switched out to have time to live life but then covid happened and i was too late anyway bc by then everyone had their friend groups already and still now i dont have. like. friends lol. so i switched out of my dream major but there was no life for me to live so it really feels like it was all for nothing and also idk if this is for everyone but weed out classes made me feel brain damaged and like destined to be stupid even now im like im not smarte nougha dn im not tough anough and im not reilient enough and it has instilled in me this forever guilt and forever self doubt idk how to explain it i just feel so bad bc i really did like physics i just wasnt smart or strong enough i guess lmaoooo but the thing is if i knew thhat there would be no life to catch up on. i wouldve just stayed in that major bc i didnt need to do anything else. now im in english w all the time in the world and straight As and my friends dont invite me to their hangouts.
and then theres also the fact that idk i feel bad saying this but for some reason ppl of my own gender and race dont like me lmfao like i still cant believe ppl of my own race and gender would like. try to get me to not be on the elevator at the same time as me we r both waiting for the elevator and then she gets in and closes the door on me when we are BOTH WAITING THERE. and this has happened w several complete strangers several times and im like what do u have against me fr im trying so hard to be a better person im trying so hard but it feels so u nfair. and the beauty standards are so extreme and i never fit in and it makes me feel like shit and guys of my race will always call me ugly completely unprompted or something and im just like. im just trying so hard. and i have 0 social skills bc i spent all of my time as a kid studying bc i love avademia and it was the only thing anyone ever respected me for cos i was always the kid that was the butt of jokes and pranked on and left out so i was like i have to be smart if i want to be respected but then i have no social skills but i still dont have any lmao and i feel so lonely bc i dont know how to make deep and close connections and ive never been in a relationshipand “everyone will get their time” or whatever but the lack of experience is scary bc i feel like im goonna fuck something up inevitably bc ive never done this before and/or i will have trust issues and self confidence issues bc of how im always treated and its like yeah enjoy being alone but i have been alone my whole life and i feel like ive exhausted everything out of it i want connections now i want to share things now. going to restaurants and parks and shops by urself and having a good time is fine but i have been doing that for over ten years im old now i want. i want to share my life w someone but theres no one to share it with lol. and the longer i go without sharing it it just feels like the less hope there is for things changing. i tried googling how to socialize and make conversations and form closer bonds but it just doesnt work and i feel like i was never destined to be happy or have good things bc everything ve tried at never has worked out. i wanted to go to a nice college and failed. i wanted to be a physicist and failed. i wanted to make friends and failed. i wanted to be ina band and failed/ i wanted to make my own career and failed. its been over ten years. i want it all to stop i dontn want to try anymore i know how it always turns out.
#and i feel like i have to get a nice job bc like#in my culture the children care for their parents right and i have always felt like a parasite child#to my parents so ive always wanted to like take care of them annd just like be nice to them back so#i thot i could get a good job and send them money but this job might kill me bc i dont like it#but i also feel like i cant ruin their legacy bc they were immigrants and worked rlly hard to get#to where they are now and i dont wanna fuck that up but like oh my god#oh my god idk everything hurts so bad#and ive grown to be so bitter and so angry bc the way im always treated and ill be rlly curt#towards ppl that dont deserve it so the guilt just keeps piling up but ic abt control it either#bc my parents also just put this stress on me and also dont help w me socializing like every summer#i come back bc i have to but then my friends on the rare occassion they invite me i cant go#bc my parents dont let me#idk im just so sad and bitter and angry and full of guilt#when i was a kid i made a promise to myself that i would try to make the best life decisions so that this wouldnt happen#but i ended up becoming the very thing i swore i would never become and it is just so sad#its just the fact that ive done everythingin my power to help for as long as i could its been several years#and its only gotten worse but i know i even tried to d ie several times ad failed at that too#i dont know what my next option is everything hurts and i want it all to stop i just want everything to stop#and w grad school approaching im burdened w another decision of. leaving my band and starting over#or staying in a place i never wanted to be anyway and i donnt know what the move is#im so out of hope im contemplating op iates or xan or something bc i dont know what else to do ive tried#ive tried
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tonight, you're mine ft rintaro
warnings: fem! bodied reader, smoking, 18+, oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, angst, fwb!suna.
a/n: i've had this in my drafts forever it's a miracle i actually posted this.
[2:07 am]
you up? im downstairs
huffing slightly, you put down your phone as suna's message lights up your screen. tipping your head back, you breathe slowly- once, twice- before getting up, shrugging on a hoodie and making your way to the door.
you leave your apartment building, the glass door closing with a click as you cross the walkway and climb down the stairs. suna stands there, leaning against his black lexus, head tilted towards the sky. you move closer, gravel crunching underneath your feet as he turns his gaze on you, head still tilted upward. slowly he straightens, lithe body drawing upto its full height, and shifting to face you.
"i won't kiss you, you know", you say, gesturing to the lit cigarette between his fingers. " i hate that shit."
"it's just one, i've been stressed lately - it's not that bad," he replies, carelessly bringing the cigarette to his mouth.
you huff a sigh, before stepping closer and grabbing his wrist.
"fine then, i guess i'll also smoke a bit- since it's not that bad."
hooded eyes watch as you bring his wrist closer to your mouth, lips wrapping around the cigarette.
you inhale- and immediately start coughing.
"this is- ugh- how do you even- "
smirking slightly he brings the cigarette up to his own mouth, inhaling.
"you have to, have to suck it slow- can't be in a hurry."
throat dry, you glare at him- fighting the urge to simply storm back to bed.
"well? you gonna get in or what?"
he crushes the cigarette and throws it in a nearby trashcan, before smoothly opening the door for you, gesturing you to get in.
climbing inside, you fiddle with the radio, the weeknd's sultry beats filling the car as suna climbs in and reverses out of the parking lot.
"do you wanna stop at mcdonald's?"
"rin we're literally driving to your apartment so we can fuck, hurry up."
"okay, okay fine- be like that."
"be like what? "
"nothing."
sighing, you tilt your head back. you never knew what went through this boy's head. sure, you guys weren't exactly friends- you didn't say hi to each other at parties nor did you acknowledge each others' presence at any time that wasn't past midnight- but still.
"i thought you were going home this weekend."
"i was- then something came up."
"oh."
awkward silence stretches between the two of you as rin pulls into the parking lot of his bougie apartment building. for a moment neither of you move, now listening to travis scott mumble about being the highest in the room.
reaching over, you let your nails drag against the nape of his neck, your hand reaching around to cup his face. turning it towards you, you lock eyes- his stare heavy.
you swallow, mouth suddenly dry.
"rin, i've been thinking lately that, that this can't go on. we've been at it for months and i'm literally moving across the country for grad school next month. it's better we wrap things up."
" you mean fucking? you wanna stop?"
"well we certainly can't continue when we're in different parts of the country."
his jaw works under your palm, teeth grinding together.
"so we just stop? and become strangers?"
"you're acting like we even look at each other in public."
" i look at you plenty, it's you who never looks back."
"rin, what are you even saying? we're just fuckbuddies, and it's time we stop. this was a temporary thing anyway, remember?"
mouth parting, he exhales- before slipping out of your palms.
"alright, i guess it's our last night then, c'mon."
the both of you make your way up to his apartment. he takes his time unlocking the door, swiping his key card multiple times. the door finally opens with a click, familiar surroundings meeting your eyes. the glass windows overlooking the city is the only source of light, moonlight illuminating his minimalist living room. the city bustles as usual, skyscrapers and billboards lit up. you'll miss this view, that's for sure, and maybe even the countless nights the two of you had spent looking at the view, satiated on his leather couch.
his hand threads through yours, uncharacteristically tender, as he leads you to his bedroom, and he's cradling your face delicately and kissing you- soft, languid and unhurried. you grasp at the soft fabric of his sweatshirt, trying to bring him closer.
he's moving you backward, till the back of your knees hits the bed and you lie back, him moving above you. without breaking the kiss he lowers your head till you're lying flat on the bed, him between your legs, one arm supporting himself.
he kisses you languidly, licking into your mouth, slowing palming your breast over your hoodie.
“this hoodie is mine, y’know. i was wondering what happened to it.”
“mhm, it’s mine now.”
huffing a laugh, he sits back on his knees, stopping his ministrations momentarily to simply look at you, lips swollen and hair messy.
his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, reaching over to unzip your hoodie, revealing a thin white camisole stretching over your breasts, nipples erect. his hands trail over your stomach, pushing up the camisole and sliding inside the waistband of your leggings, inhaling sharply when he notices your lack of underwear.
“so pretty, all f’me right? only for me,” he groans, peeling your leggings down and tossing them aside. parting your legs he settles between them, hooking your knees on his broad shoulders.
“rin,ah-”
you’re cut off as he presses a kiss to your cunt, tongue dipping between your folds to flick at your clit. sucking on your clit, he pushes a finger inside you, curling just so when he finds your sensitive spot, grinning as you whine, your hips shooting upwards.
“rin, please oh, just- i need you inside,” you moan, panting as he slides another finger inside, torturously slow.
“fuck, doll- you don’t need to beg, i’d do anything for you.”
you’re too turned on too notice the implications of his words, sliding his hoodie down your arms and slipping out of your camisole, watching as he pulls off his sweatshirt and grabs a condom, bringing it up to his mouth to open the packaging.
before rolling on the condom he grabs your hips and brings you closer, tapping the head of his cock on your pussy, sliding it between your folds, groaning at the friction. you whine, wrapping your legs around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer, sighing as he finally rolls on the condom and pushes past your folds.
“shit, you always feel so good, fuck-”
“rin, faster, i’m so close, please-”
he obliges, thrusting faster, one hand slipping between the two of you to press tight circles on your clit.
you scream, lips forming an o as you hit your high unexpectedly, gasping as he continues pounding into you, sloppier as he chases his own high. you clench down on him, squirming at the over sensitivity as he cums, hips stuttering.
the two of you are silent as he pulls out, breathing heavily. you push yourself up on your elbows as he knots the condom, throwing it in the bin near his desk.
“i-”, you begin, unsure what to say.
his eyes lock on yours as he pulls you into his lap, burying his face into your neck.
"you can leave in the morning, tonight i'm not letting you go."
#y'all#idk ok idk#suna x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu smut#haikyuu!!#hq#hq smut#hq x reader#suna smut#suna rintaro#hq suna#inarizaki#suna angst#haikyuu angst
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Hey there. This is a rather private message, but I was also bullied and trashtalked publicly by one of the big BG3 blogs on here.
I was a fairly small blog (and an artist, too) so I didn't really stand a chance. It was out of my control. I reached out to people to get help but many of them eventually left me. What I'm saying is, I understand what you're going through—or at least know how it feels. People seem to blindly believe popular blogs on Tumblr, and said blogs sometimes abuse their influence and popularity by making all sorts of claims to put them in the spotlight, thinking, they know the person behind the screen even though they don't.
Back then I had to take a break from Tumblr, but I hope you won't let it get you down. Turn to your friends. The BG3 community is quite toxic. Fandom drama is always shitty, unnecessary, stressful and unfair. Take care and keep balance x
Hi anon!
Surprisingly you’re the first person to like really bring it up and tbh I’m glad bc I’ve just been ignoring it and continuing to do my own thing. I kind of just let it happen and just stuck to myself because like… this is tumblr. Im not gonna really expand on it or really discuss it because i gave it my energy for a day and moved on. That’s what i tell my clients (at least the ones I practice with a supervisor) and that’s what i do for myself. but thank you for your kind words.
Yeah it sucked for like the first 12 hours then i kind of got over it. And i agree, influence and popularity definitely is abused! And targeting strangers with no context or stories from both sides or having a grown adult talk is extremely common on the internet period. Honestly the BG3 fandom has been a solace for me but that’s only because i stick to a certain pocket of it: OC love and Gale. But i hope by now my followers realize: I’m super self indulgent. That’s my speciality.
Luckily i had a group of people and some mutuals have my back so i wasn’t alone. Also my fiance kinda talked me through it and we honestly kinda just… laughed. Because the situation was so laughable and silly. Like I’m in grad school, have a job, have to pay rent… I’m not worried about what people in a fandom have to say about me to a small pocket of people 💀 like girl I’m about to start an internship as a therapist, i have better things to worry about. I learned from it and I’m moving on.
But thank you again! Sending you my love and I’m sure your art is fucking awesome! I hope you have others to turn to as well :) if not, this goes for you and everyone else: my DMs are always open.
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haiiii bb✨ i hope you had the best weekend!
i’m still not sure how he managed to do that tbh, i don’t think it’s too easy to achieve😅 so momo is prob safe from that. wasabi is an orange cat, we can’t expect much from him in the braincell department. im glad baby momo is getting better too🫶🏻 we stan her
frfr, idk how people abandon their pets. i’m literally so attached to every animal ever. i see a stray cat at a park and i’ll think of them forever and worry about them too. and people who don’t spay their cats and expect them to be outdoors are such assholes. i’ve had to spay/neuter 10+ cats due to overpopulation in the last two years and i have four more females to go (excluding my own 8 out of 9 cats). it’s insane and so so so sad. the fact that they took off the collar is so stupid too. it really sucks. i cannot comprehend.
star, idk how you do it!!! living where you live in the kpop era must be so hard😭 like, we love the exposure but my bank doesn’t. i sometimes wish i lived somewhere with a lot of kpop concerts but kinda not at the same time bc i just know i couldn’t afford most of them and i’d get the worst case of fomo. i wish you the best at your choice of concerts😂
anddd i didn’t know you stanned nct dream or itzy! follow up: which groups do you stan and who are your biases? i lovveeeee nct! i don’t really stan any ggs aside from twice and new jeans but i’d so love to listen to more so any recs would be gr8!!!
frfr ive never been confident with myself (and ik that’s like my biggest problem bc confidence is so attractive). kpop beauty standards kinda took a toll on me especially after my surgery, grad school, depression worsening etc etc. but ive learned to make delulu my solulu and be like “minho would love me even if im not pretty or skinny” and all is well (what he wouldn’t love about me is that i only eat meat when i absolutely have to bc i hate it😂). i love skincare though so if you ever need to discuss skincare im ur girl🔥 aside from kpop, plushies & cats my ocd also manifests at compulsively buying hundreds of dollars of skincare products🔥
i love you my darling bb. i hope you have the best week!! i’ve never had cheese danishes therefore im so glad i virtually tried them with you💕
-🐈⬛
HIIIIIIIII BBYYYY I HOPE YOU HAD THE BEST MONDAY 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
Momo is doing so much better today (she’s currently napping on my freshly washed laundry❤️) so I think it might’ve been a weather thing! Hopefully her itching doesn’t come back but I’m still gonna look into bee pollen and see if it helps :’)
I KNOW I feel so very overprotective of every cat ive ever come across and it baffles me that people are just okay with abandoning their cats like that?? Especially after YEARS of owning them!??? How 😭 I don’t even like leaving momo alone for the day (despite her having an automatic feeder and a water fountain and cameras to watch her every move) so I don’t know how people abandon a cat indefinitely 💔 it’s fr so sad to me
HONESTLY it was so much easier to save money when there weren’t so many kpop things here but now we have kpop stores at every corner with v exclusive merch and preorder benefits and concerts every MONTH I can’t save money for the life of me 😭 I SWEARRRRR I buy some useless kpop thing at least once a week it’s so bad! I’m on a buying ban right now bc I just bought jhope’s on the street merch and that is ALLLL I am letting myself buy for the foreseeable future 🫡 hopefully
I LOOOOOOVE NCT OH MY GOSHHHHH okay list of my groups & biases (I might miss a few so bear w me):
Skz: JISUNGGGGG & Felix is my bias wrecker 🫶💖
Bts: jhope!!!!!!!!! Jin is my bias wrecker!
Nct 127: Yuta & Haechan! Wreckers always change but right now probs Taeyong (enlistment era starts today😔)
Nct Dream: I literally just started getting more serious about being into them despite listening to their music for a while LOL but deffffff Renjun & Haechan! 🫶
Wayv: Xiaojun!!!!
Shinee: Onew ofcccc 👼 and Taemin is my wrecker (he’s everybody’s wrecker tbh)
Ateez: Hongjoong & Seonghwa/Yeosang wreckers!
Seventeen: Hoshi & Minghao!!
Txt: Heuningkai 🫶
G-idle: Minnie! I need to get more into them but she’s defffff my bias oh my god she’s so pretty
P1harmony: I’ve also recently been more into them. Jiung!!
The Boyz: Changmin!
Ikon: Bobby!
Blackpink: MY GIRL ROSÉ 💞
Nmixx: Jiwoo & Lily!!!
Itzy: RYUJIN.
EXO: Minseok!!!!
Twice: Dahyun!
Blitzers: Chris!!
Aespa: Winter!
I also listen to Lsrfm and New Jeans but I don’t have biases (I’m more just a casual listener) but I think that’s everyone!! I LOOOOOOVE NCT THOUGH RAHHHHHHH when I tell you I have been crying alllllll day bc of Taeyong enlistment FUCKKKK IM SO SAD 😭😭😭 did you see Mark and Haechan tried to go to his send off and missed it because their flight was rerouted?? GODDDD I’m so sad for them 😭 I brought my Ty bby to today’s coffee run I miss him already 😔💔
PLEASE kpop beauty standards hit you in the face when you least expect it frfr like I always told myself I didn’t care how I looked in comparison and all of a sudden it was like oh nvmmmm 😀 It comes and goes in waves as of now and lately I’ve been trying to work more on just liking myself as a person (and being delulu because that’s the solution to everything) and I also find that’s the best way to combat it 🫶 ALSO SKINCARE YESSSSS I will absolutely bug you for skincare recs I have the worst habit of buying skincare just for the cute packaging LMFAOOOO I need to buckle down and buy actual cute stuff 😭
I love you so much bby have the best week!!!!! Here’s today’s pc I took just for you 🫶👼 I love u!!!!!
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hi my love, im potentially moving to nyc next year for grad school and im already starting to panic about housing, I know you live there now and im just wondering how you navigated the housing market and finding available apartments and things like that bc just the thought makes me 😭 also your thoughts on good neighborhoods and places, sorry if you dont know or dont want to answer!!
hiiii sorry it took me a while to get back to this and it might be kinda long so i can do a read more lol i’m in the process of moving apartments rn actually!!!
i found my first apartment on streeteasy which can be good when you are looking for an apartment and already know who you will be living with/if u are looking for just urself since it’s just straight up apartment listings and you can narrow them down based on budget/pets/number of rooms etc (make sure the apartment is no fee though!! places can be shady about that but u should notttt be paying a brokers fee like u found the place urself)
i also know a lot of people who have found luck through facebook groups idk how u personally identify so this may not be helpful at all but i always get recommended the one thats named something along the lines of “young women in nyc housing/roommates/sublets” i think u have to pay $10 to get accepted now since it’s huge but i know people who have had luck on there too! and it’s good if u are looking to rent just a room in an apartment or look for a short term sublet while you search for long term housing. i’ve also been recommended/heard of people looking on lex but that can be such a mixed bag people on there are WEIRD
the best time to move is def in the winter which is when rents are the lowest and apartment hunting is the most hectic from like may-september but it’s always quite rough here
as for neighborhoods… since ur moving for school it would be best probably to look at what subway/bus lines your campus is closest to and start from there looking at what parts along that line are within your budget or looking for places within ur budget that allow you to get to those lines somewhat “easily” … like when i decided to move this time around i tried to find an apartment that was along subway lines that get me directly to certain locations at my job or allow me to in-station transfer to them.
idk if that was helpful at all but if u have any other questions lmk!!!
#i found my first apartment 2 weeks before move in and ik people who found an apartment the day they had to move out of their old one 🙃#it moves very very very fast
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Hi! I am a lesbian about to graduate and go off to college (I hope it’s okay I’m sending this). And was wondering if you had advice on safely navigating a new area as an lgbtq person, and how to not feel alone. I was lucky to grow up surrounded by accepting people, but I still feel like a sore thumb, and I am naturally a quiet unapproachable person. My fear is that I will go right back into hiding and maybe never stop. People say that it’ll be fine but it’s hard to believe them. I’m terrified.
It is ALWAYS ok to send me Ask. I say thay are always open and I mean it. I try very hard to get to them but right now I am behind and it truly bugs me. But we do what we can when we can and I am no exception to that rule.
I went to college is a small Missouri town, moving from a small midwest high school. Luckily it was pretty chill and liberal so while I met a lot of LGBT friends (or those exploring the notion) I was not ready to come out until after graduation. I had just moved to Iowa CIty to be closer to home and work and go to grad school. U of I is HUGE and sprawling and I was workng a new job (political fundraiser ie door knocker) that paid the bills AND gave me health insurance. It was 1991.
Even though I am outgoing and make friends easily it was a bit over whelming. I happen to move in with 5 gay men from my job and they introduced me to their world and friends. I had an "in" that eventually led me to have a larger friend circle. BUT here is my advice
FInd something you are interested in and join it. Theatre, yoga, Sci Fi, animal rescue volunteering. It does not have to be an offical club nor LGBT Centric. It also does not need to require a lot of time or money. Freshman year is a over whelming and exciting but making the time to do something you enjoy with others who enjoy it is a good way to at least form a circle of familiar faces around campus. Sad to say EVEN back in the 90's the "gay groups" I did attend (as an ally of course) were clique and awkward for me. I felt like the infringing new person. I hope that has changed, but I have my doubts.
There are some groups and activities that will have a concentration of LGBT people without that being the focus. Theatre, animal rescue, environmental, politics (be wary of echo chambers) and some intramural sports. Volley ball and softball, even coed will have a fair share of lesbians. But so might gaming clubs or frisbee golf. Dont forget about book clubs or Sci fi or Ren Fest groups. Once you make some connections with other who share some common ground with you, you might gain some confidence it making friends in the more narrow LGBT social or official groups.
What is really more important that a large friend group is a few people you can trust and get to know. Once you leave college many of your college friends will naturally navigate out of your life. That is normal and expected because it a time in life of drastic change and growth. But if you find that one or two who will be worth hanging on to you can work less on many people and put your energy into someone who does the same for ou. IF you befriend an extravert that is a bonus because she will make tsure you have social interactions whether you want them or not.
College people are just high schoolers a year or two down the road. Just people. Like you. Say "hello" and smile and ask to sit and chat. The worst they can say is "no" or "im not interested" but more often you will make at least an acquaintance . A familar face to see on campus as time moves on. Or you make a friend worth getting to know.
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personal life rant under the cut sorry the quickest therapy appointment i could get was monday
okay this is fundamentally so unserious. but it has been driving me absolutely bonkers and i cannot really tell my friends about it without also driving THEM crazy also its juvenile but. here.
ok so quick lore update the girl who made me realize I was gay is one of my best friends and i met her when she directed a play i was in freshman year. this is important. realized my feelings sophmore spring and I eventually told her how I felt the fall of my junior year, when i was in another one of her plays, and she kind of flipped out bc she was studying abroad that next semester and I don't think she was in an emotional places to process everything. it was very unclear whether she actually returned my feelings and she never told me but it was a resounding 'lets just be friends!!!' regardless. after we fought for a month 🤪
ANYWAYS the next semester she goes abroad and we continue texting like every day but i eventually kind of get over it and i still love her but it transitions a bit. She comes back and we are closer than ever in the fall, we do so many things together and basically keep developing our already very close friendship.
now it's senior spring. she applied for a grant that would take her to grad school in england and of course I assumed she would get it bc she is like fantastically talented. i have briefly dated other people in the period in between but nothing really worked out and so i just resign myself to the fate of just hanging out with my friends and actually looking for love ugh when I move in september. but also at this point i know im kind of still in love with her so i was like 'enjoy this time with her because its our last semester in college and we are never getting this time back etc' and even though i want her in my life forever i knew it would be SO hard to see her go and move to another country for a while and maybe date other people. so i figured she would move and i would cry and be torn up but i would get over it. also, in the meantime, I have been entering into a bit of a flirtation with a girl we have both known for a long time (who is lovely) basically as a distraction but we both knew that it was NOT serious.
also for context: the friend is directing ANOTHER play right now that both me and flirtation girl are in. we are playing love interests.
so last wednesday she found out she didn't get the grant. me and our very good mutual friend (calling her X she will play a role later, she is also very very close with the girl lol) are SHOCKED. this means she will likely be with us on the east coast of the US with us. the following night, I go to a party with X, our friends, and the girl i have been flirting with. She makes a move on me at the party, which i wasn't quite expecting bc the play is ongoing and I am worried about making rehearsal awkward but i was like 'ok fuck it i guess isnt this what i set up i made my bed'
THEN X pulls me aside and is like 'grace wtf are you doing' and i said 'you literally knew about this and its not serious, why are you mad' and X says 'grace, she's not going to england', basically implying something about my friend and me. naturally, I freak out. I blow off the flirtation friend and basically spiral for the rest of the night and weekend. I eventually make X talk to me bc WTF
okay so the entire problem is that X can't say too much without compromising my friend which is fair. but basically X validated YEARS worth of feelings that me and my friend do not have a normal relationship, we have basically been dating for who knows how long, and heavily implied that after she found out i made out with the girl at the party she was jealous. after year(s?) of repressing my feelings this revelation obviously made me insane. BUT X was like 'you guys need to talk but you should probably wait until the play is over to do it' which is in THREE WEEKS. she said it maybe wasn't necessary but she obviously can't say too much to me and I feel bad putting her in this position but also WHAT. WHAT.
okay so. I feel like there's been a chip made in the side of the hoover dam of my fucking repression and i am having such crazy feelings and I can't really express them. I know my friend would probably prefer that we wait bc she takes her shows very very seriously (something i love about her!! so much!!!) but also we graduate in a month and i don't know if i can just not talk about what's going on for that long. also there is a fair chance we talk and we still have to just be friends which would kind of murder me (oh context her mother is like very homophobic and until this year she has been SO wary of relationships which i thought was permanent lol until X told me many repeated times that 'now it is different' WHAT DOES THAT FUCKING MEAN) but i would almost want to get that over with now????????? jesus christ.
to make things worse we are, as i stated before, graduating and so emotions are just running very high in general. we need to have this talk but I also want to have it at the right moment so things don't go to shit. but i have had a very hard time concentrating on anything. will be back to buisness soon but until then. jesus christ. just pray for me at this point idk what else to say
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