I’m finding myself a bit puzzled about some of the takes I’ve been seeing lately from other Caryl fans. We’re all divided on how positive or negative we feel about the show, and everyone is free to their own opinions, but I’d like to share my own here. I guess you could call this my first attempt at genuine meta, though it’s not something I’m great at haha. 

I have personally never read the argument in “Find Me” as Daryl genuinely blaming Carol for C-onnie’s “death” - sure, he says it, and if you want to take that at face value, you can. But Carol specifically states that the argument isn’t about C-onnie or L-eah. That isn’t where Daryl’s anger and frustration is coming from, and I don’t think he meant it either. Carol sees this too. I think her lying to him and putting herself in danger is the source of his anger there, and honestly? I think it was probably a long time coming from S5 or S6. And I still think it’s good for them if anything!

Let me explain, and let’s go back to S10. I feel like Daryl was the most open he has ever been throughout the season, specifically with Carol. And she dodges his attempts every time (for her own reasons that I definitely understood and sympathized with). Carol running and trying to leave has been her theme since S5, except this time, she is actively lying to Daryl. 10x09 was the last straw because he has undoubtedly done everything in his power to get her to talk to him and be honest, and this time she promises him. And then she almost gets herself killed.

Now, I’m not gonna go through the resolution to that, and then their kind of weird unresolved tension that lingered in the S11 premiere. My point is that it all boils down to Daryl wanting her safe, and beyond that, wanting her to stay. 

This is something she really hasn’t done yet, something she has been struggling to do for seasons, and something I think she is actively proving that she wants to do now. 

So what’s this got to do with the argument in “Find Me”? Well, what is the harshest thing he said to her in that episode? For me, it’s him agreeing with her that she should’ve stayed on the boat. It’s definitely what hurts Carol the most.

But this is the same man that told her that he needed her to stay at the beginning of the season. The same one that asked her so tenderly why she didn’t just come on home. 

For me, it’s implied that he says this not because he wants her gone, but because he’s worried that she'll leave again and all she’s done is given him false hope that this time, she’ll stay.

Carol is right, and I believe the audience is meant to pick up on this too. It was never about C-onnie or L-eah. It was and always is about Carol. And in my honest opinion, his current storyline has done nothing to change that.