cruel and unusual to make me pick between when you come back, it's gravity (kas!steve au) and boathouse wall slam 2: roleplay boogaloo so i simply shan't please tell me about both.

[also don't worry i also didn't make my wip wednesday word count bc apparently grieving makes it hard to function. or something. (but also sometimes life just Happens. it's fandom, no one's paying us for this shit 💜)]

Read you're amazing and I appreciate you so much <3 You are more than welcome to ask me about as many things as you'd like!!

[also thank you very much for the kind words & reminder not to take fandom shit so seriously it becomes stressful itself 💙 I hope you're doing a bit better now (since it's been a hot second since you sent this ask), life really does just fucking suck sometimes, huh?]

Paging @sidekick-hero who also asked me about boathouse wall slam; seeing as both of you asked about the same two fics, I'll use this ask to talk about boathouse wall slam and the other one to talk about gravity!

boathouse wall slam 2: roleplay boogaloo

Okay first of all this DOES actually have a title - strange love (won’t you give it to me?) - but I love the placeholder meme title way too much to change the file name. There's also about 2.5k words written in this document, but many of those words are Horny and thus I do not feel comfortable sharing them lmao

Also my "can't shut the fuck up" disease struck again SO this is going under a cut (which is also probably not a bad thing considering I'm talking about sex lmao)

AS THE MEME TITLE IMPLIES this is about Steve having Many Thoughts about Eddie shoving him up against the wall of Reefer Rick’s boathouse, to the point where he eventually caves and asks Eddie (his boyfriend of ~2 months, after about that much time again of fooling around together as friends) if he’d be willing to re-enact that moment with him. But this time they won’t have an audience. Because it's a sex roleplay. The surface level concept for this fic is just a smutty pwp revolving around re-enacting The Wall Slam™, because neither Steve nor the audience were being normal about that when it happened. The roleplay set-up was going to be something like Eddie just chilling and smoking out in the boathouse undisturbed (because Reefer Rick skipped town after Vecna was defeated, so the place is now unoccupied), Steve "accidentally" stumbling across him, Eddie thinking "oho the popular jock is here to beat me up, I'd better make the first move before he can" and throwing Steve up against a wall only to find Steve Really Likes Being Manhandled, and he's suggesting they maybe have a little fun with each other instead? (This part would not require much acting from Steve.) The roleplay aspect of it is basically them reaching back for their high school personas and acting as if they'd gotten into this situation with each other whilst still in school, before they became friends and certainly before they had any history together.

The original version I started (and got 2.5k words into before realising I wouldn't feel comfy posting it anywhere lol) was written... around this time last year? Like 10-12 months ago? And so it was very much coloured by the prevailing Fandom Opinions & Content™ at the time, aka this was a sub!bottom!Steve and dom!top!Eddie affair (with that being the Prevailing Pattern of their relationship thus far in the fic). I wasn't writing them as having an Official Established Dynamic™, I was just writing it as Steve having an inherent tendency to be submissive/give up control to Eddie during sex. Steve's nerves around asking Eddie about this particular fantasy are just due to Steve being nervous to ask for what he wants; he's not worried at all about asking Eddie to be a bit rough/dominant with him because really, They Do That Anyway.

While I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with approaching this concept (or Steddie!) like that, and I'll still read pretty much any flavour of Steddie (ultimately I think they're switches/vers, and also I don't care that much about who's in what position as long as they're in character), the way I view them & their dynamic has definitely changed since I came up with this concept. THEREFORE, here is how I would approach it if I were to write this as a oneshot now:

They're still newly dating at the start of the fic (only a month or two in), except the prevailing pattern of the relationship so far is service top/soft dom!Steve & bottom/ever so slightly sub!Eddie. This is mainly because a) that's what they're used to from previous partners, and b) Steve's got some Issues around giving up control in bed/feeling like he's not doing enough to please his partner (aka "I must prove my worth sexually or else they'll lose interest in me").

Steve has, however, been plagued with visions of Eddie throwing him around the boathouse like he was a small twig, and he is very quickly losing his sanity about it. Eddie could absolutely manhandle Steve the way Steve manhandles Eddie, if he wanted to. If Steve let him.

After a couple months of dating Eddie, Eddie can tell something's up, so he asks about it. Steve cracks like an egg the moment Eddie asks, confessing he keeps thinking about The Wall Slam. Eddie - who has already sniffed out Steve's issues around being Enough and Worthy for his partner - asks if he'd like them to recreate that moment. Steve agrees (while blushing so red he looks like a tomato).

CUE THE ROLEPLAY SMUT. This proceeds pretty much the same as the original version, complete with sub!bottom!Steve & dom!top!Eddie, but this version of Eddie is a much softer dom & this Steve takes a bit longer to really get into the swing of things. After the smut they have a cute little heart-to-heart about how Eddie's not going to leave Steve just because he wants a turn being looked after for once, and that Steve is going to make more of an effort to prioritise his own wants and needs sometimes.

Essentially, were I to write this now, I'd make it a smutfic character study of Steve & how he has issues around being vulnerable and letting Eddie take care of him, instead of him taking care of Eddie all the time. You know how it is, you go to write porn and it ends up growing legs and also a deep emotional core about the relationship between characters and their psychological issues.

Send me an ask about my WIPs!

I'm sick of people saying Sansa isn't "Stark enough" Also tired of seeing how headcanoning Sansa (just in my mind/art) as Queen is criminal. My intention isnt to erase other characters. I personally don't care if she is QitN in canon. I'll just be glad if GRRM gives her a decent ending. But only imagining Sansa as Queen surely cant be a crime. Sansa has given me a lot of hope irl; helped me deal w/ depression so wanting her success,happiness rulership even it's cathartic

Hi! QitN Sansa anon here. I just wanted to rectify that the word I wanted to use instead of cathartic was therapeutic. I think they both mean same but I’m not sure. Sorry. English is not my native language and I struggle w/ it. Thanks for understanding.

Hello Anonny!

First of all, please don’t apologize for your English, it is seriously EXCELLENT! It’s probably better than mine tbqh. Secondly, I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER! I have no excuse, I am The Worst. 

Getting to the down and dirty of your ask… My dear Anonny, I totally hear you; and if it makes you feel any better, you definitely aren’t alone! Your frustration is honestly one of my main ~grievances~ with fandom and why I honestly having a really hard time engaging with like 85% of the ~meta side~ of fandom. I am in some fandoms, GoT/ASoIaF included, that have some incredibly smart and talented meta writers who are so passionate and hardworking and insightful. The things that they come up with sometimes completely blow me away! It can be easy to fall down the meta rabbit hole and get caught up, especially when people are seeing all these interesting things and coming up with all these amazing and intriguing theories that you NEVER would have thought of. But on the flip side, it can be really frustrating when the meta you are reading just doesn’t resonate with you at all. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am Here for meta as a concept and I usually really love seeing what people come up with. My issue is often in the execution. Sometimes it feels like meta crosses that ~fine line~ between showing you one way to think vs. telling you how to think. 

I definitely see the value in discussing different interpretations of stories and characters, and I even enjoy reading most of them. But too often I feel like people forget that meta is still just an interpretation, it’s as though there has become this ~thing~ where calling something meta automatically makes it infallible. But it’s really important to remember that with meta in regards to literature, while it’s generally meant to be an academic and unbiased approach generally, is still just one person’s interpretation of the facts as they see them. Meta has somehow become this competition about Who Is Right and Being the Rightest, and it just completely disregards how inherently subjective and personal fandom is. I will always and forever maintain that is absolutely impossible to be completely objective in fandom; your opinions, your biases, your Faves, are always going to affect your interpretations and and resulting opinions, that’s just human nature. I don’t get this whole demand for objectivity thing; if people were truly objective about fandom, I don’t think we would even be having this discussion, because no one would be discussing much of anything. Yeah, its important to maintain some level of objectivity, especially when you are having discussions with other people about fandom, but tbh being ~completely objective~ all the time sounds pretty boring. Honestly, I feel like most of the time people who claim they are being “totally objective” when they talk about things like character arcs, possible end games, ect. are even less trust worthy than those people who are up front about their favoritism; imo it usually means they are either totally unaware of their own biases, or that they refuse to acknowledge them.  

I also feel you on the whole thing of “headcanoning Sansa as QitN is erasing other characters,” it’s frustrating to me as well. Because you’re right, wanting Sansa to be in a leadership role does not automatically mean you are disregarding other characters. Positions like Q/KitN or Lord/Lady of Winterfell are exclusive positions by nature, there are always going to be unequal power dynamics based on that alone. It’s also like you were saying, seeing Sansa in a position of power and leadership role can definitely be cathartic and therapeutic (I think both words work btw!). As a character who has essentially been completely robbed of her agency and self determination and has been at the mercy of others for almost the entire series, it would be extremely satisfying to not only see her regain some of her autonomy, but also be in a position where she could control her own fate. It would also be really satisfying to see a character like Sansa who has had to rely so much on her more feminine, intellectual “soft power” to be in a position where she is clearly powerful in a more traditional, tangible sense. Does she have to be QitN for these things to happen? No, obviously not. But then it also stands to reason that none of the other Stark siblings HAVE to be in that power position to be important either, the same basic logic applies. To say that Sansa fans are “sidelining” or “disregarding” or “erasing” other characters by theorizing or headcanoning that Sansa could be QitN or Lady of Winterfell then means that fans of ANY OTHER CHARACTER who headcanon or theorize about that character holding a position of power in the North are therefore intrinsically sidelining/disregarding/erasing Sansa based on their own argument. Honestly, debating like that sounds tedious and counterproductive and more than a little annoying. Because honestly, it could go on FOREVER, we could be here for the rest of our gd natural born LIVES arguing about this. People are always going to disagree with you, that’s just life. And they are free to do so, just as you are free to disagree with them. But there is a notable difference between disagreement and downright derision; one is totally fine and can be done respectfully, and the other is kind of a dick move. 

And also, like I was talking about earlier, our faves are our faves. In fandom, you are allowed to concentrate on YOUR FAVE and their significance and where you see their story going. That is totally and completely 100% legit! Characters like Sansa are very easy to connect to and care about, especially for people who see themselves and their own struggles in her story. And I think the same goes for Arya… They are these two young characters who experience similar trauma and abuse and honestly just horrendous things that no child should ever have to experience, and they deal with it in such vastly different narrative ways. Arya takes action and lashes out and lets herself be sad and angry. Sansa rationalizes and compartmentalizes lies to herself and everyone around her in order to get through the day. Sansa is pretty much a poster child for traditional femininity, while Arya’s character has so much focus on defying gender roles (or disregarding gender completely in the case of the faceless men). Both have their moments of weakness and strength, both have their aptitudes and their flaws. Relating to and connecting with either on a personal level, as is common with fictional characters, is completely possible and understandable. That’s one of the most beautiful things about the Stark Sisters imo, together and separately they appeal to such a wide array of readers. 

There is no “wrong way” to fandom, there are no “wrong reasons” to love certain characters or story lines, there is NOTHING wrong with Sansa Stark being your favorite character and caring about what happens to her. And also, probably an ~unpopular opinion~ (but idgaf tbh), there is nothing wrong with caring about Sansa (or any of your faves) more than you care about other characters! It’s natural, you are not doing anything wrong, and your interpretations and opinions are no less valid than anyone else’s. That’s the great thing about fiction, it is literally impossible to have a “wrong” interpretation of a fictional work. You don’t even have to agree with the author to be ~right~ about a work of fiction because according to “death of the author” an author’s intentions and biographical facts should hold no weight in regards to an interpretation of their writing; a writer’s interpretation of his own work is no more or less valid than the interpretations of any given reader. Debate is fine, discussion is cool, dialogue about differences of opinions and interpretation can honestly be awesome. What’s not awesome though, is when people think that their interpretation is not only and absolutely correct one, but the sole correct one. That seems, like, wildly narrow minded and more than a little bit cocky tbh. Fandom isn’t a dictatorship; no one’s interpretations are law that can be enforced, no one’s preferences are superior, no one’s faves are automatically more important, and no one is The Great Supreme Rightest (or whatever a fandom dictator’s title would be idek). 

So the point is Anonny, YOU. ARE. VALID. Fandom is all about connecting with a story and it’s characters because they make you feel things. Something or someone in that story made your sweet little anonny (or in my case, cold dead salty) heart fall in love. So just keep fandoming and loving Sansa exactly how you want in a way that makes you happy!

(And on a totally mature, adult end note: fuck people who say Sansa isn’t Stark enough, what ever the hell that even means!? They are just jealous they don’t look that Boss 👏  Ass 👏  Bitch 👏  decked out in furs like a badass Northern Lady Pimp! QUEEN SANSA OF THE HOUSE SNARK, FIRST OF HER NAME!!!)