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#also i can cite sources later

iamthedukeofurl · 5 months

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I feel like the Hbomberguy plagiarism video has a lot of really good lessons about building an argument. Like, the thesis of the video isn't just "Plagiarism is rife on Youtube", although that point was certainly well made, it was specifically about James Somerton, who isn't mentioned until about halfway through the video. Before then, Hbomb goes through several creators who are already widely discredited as plagiarists, and in each section he introduces concepts that are later incorporated into the final takedown of Somerton, but each section also stands on it's own. Like, he starts with Filip, the game reviewer, which he uses to introduce the format of how he will discuss and expose plagiarists. Specifically, the graphic of displaying the source material while the plagiarist's voice plays, and marking up said source material every time the plagiarist changes some wording slightly. This is the method that Hbomb uses across the entire video. With Illuminaughtii, Hbomb introduces a few major concepts 1) The idea of Insufficient citation. Illuminaughtii "Cites" her sources by putting a plaintext pastebin link in her video descriptions with no indication of how each source was used. Technically, her source is CITED, but not in any relevant or useful way. She has a big list of stuff she read, and a random youtube link in there happens to be the source that she stole 90% of the video from. 2) He introduces the profit motive behind this approach. Putting out a lot of content very quickly is how one builds an audience, and therefore an income, out of making stuff on youtube. Plagiarism of this sort is a way to produce content very quickly and build a following. The Internet Historian section introduces two new concepts:

1) The behavior of an exposed plagiarist, taking down and reuploading videos with minor changes, awkwardly trying to insert credit without admitting guilt. 2) That the plagiarists are stealing not just research, but STYLE. Previous sections go over how the plagiarists are reusing the same words, but this section oozes over how much of the final product's quality was the result of how well the source material was written. TIH didn't just crib the notes from the Mentalfloss article, he created a video heavily dependent on the original author's skill as a writer. When TIH tried his own hand at presenting the same set of facts, it came out much worse. So that when the time comes for the Somerton takedown, Hbomb has already laid the groundwork to bring these concepts back. Somerton takes down and reuploads videos when he's caught, he declares this his video is "based on" work by somebody else without providing proper citation. He's not just stealing research done by somebody else, he's taking their insights and talent as a writer and regurgitating it as his own, and he's doing so to churn out a vast wall of content that he can financially benefit from, and he doesn't need to tell you why this is important, because he's already done so. He already convinced you that Illuminaughtii hiding a line in a pastebin didn't excuse her plagiarism, so you don't need to be told why Somerton saying his video is "Based On" somebody else's book doesn't excuse it.

#hbomberguy #rhetoric

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toffeecoco1 · 20 days

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@perpetualgrey's comment on this post

Ok my first instinct was to laugh, but then I realised you might be onto something???

Shen Yuan is LITERALLY an impostor, who’s more far more kind and beloved by Binghe than the original. The Guanyin pendant is a counterfeit, but it carries the love of Binghe’s mother and is far more precious than any real jade could ever be.

The heartbreak Binghe’s mother felt after realising that the Guanyin pendant was fake and she’d been tricked was part of what lead to the gradual decline of her health.¹ In wanting to do something kind for Binghe, she felt that she’d failed, and this led to her demise. What is Shen Qingqiu’s entire story, but trying to be kind to Binghe, feeling inadequate at this, and dying? (More than once!!)

Guanyin is a Bodhisattva associated with mercy, kindness, compassion and unconditional love. She is a patron of mothers, and is called upon in times of fear, uncertainty, and despair. The Bodhisattva she originated from is seen as a saviour, through whose grace even those with the most negative karma can achieve salvation. Even when she is not worshipped as a goddess, she is revered as the principle of love, compassion and mercy.² From wikipedia, “The act, thought and feeling of compassion and love is viewed as Guanyin. A merciful, compassionate, loving individual is said to be Guanyin.”²

The original Luo Binghe appears never to have lost his pendant. Shen Qingqiu tells us: “It was the only bit of warmth in Luo Binghe’s dark world, always by his side, and even in the future when he was at his darkest, it could summon up his last dregs of humanity.”¹ He also states that “it was Luo Binghe’s biggest berserk button.”¹

Our Luo Binghe does not cling to the pendant when he’s at his darkest: he clings to the love he has for his shizun and to memories of his kindness, and later, to the lifeless body of Shen Qingqiu himself. His biggest berserk button isn’t when people insult the pendant or his mother, or try to take it away; it’s Shen Qingqiu: when people insult him or try to take him away.

From the start, Shen Qingqiu expresses truly unconditional love for Binghe. He spends three years showing endless compassion and kindness, actions which feel insignificant to him but are more than enough to completely change Binghe’s life. He holds no blame or resentment for the things he fears Binghe will do to him; though he doesn’t want to be tortured, he forgives Binghe for it nonetheless, before it has even happened. He sacrifices himself to save Binghe as his mind is eaten away at by Xin Mo, when he believes that Binghe just slaughtered a hundred Huan Hua Disciples, when Binghe’s reckless use of the sword is putting countless more lives at risk.³

Shen Qingqiu is a counterfeit that is more precious than the original could ever be. For Binghe, he personifies kindness, compassion and unconditional love. His regrets over his treatment of Binghe lead to his temporary demise. Binghe clings to him in his darkest moments, and he is that which Binghe protects most fiercely.

I always found the pendant’s role in the story to be almost lacking: it’s treated as such an important item to Binghe, yet in the end its return is almost anticlimactic. But perhaps this is because the role the pendant played in Bing-ge’s story has been overtaken by Shen Qingqiu. When he returns the pendant, Binghe is relieved and appreciative: but his joy seems to stem more from the fact that Shen Qingqiu held onto it and cherished him than from the pendant itself. The pendant doesn’t matter all that much to him anymore, at least not compared to how important it seems to have been in PIDW. Binghe doesn't need an object to symbolize love and kindness; he has a person to love, who loves him back.

In conclusion: Shizun was in fact the fake jade Guanyin pendant all along!

sources cited below :)

1. Seven Seas Volume 1, Chapter 1: Scum. Pages 40-41.

2. “Guanyin,” Wikipedia. There’s a lot more to her than what I mentioned here, she’s quite interesting.

3. Seven Seas Volume 2, Chapter 8: Death. Pages 154-156.

#svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #bingqiu #svsss meta #meta #scum villain’s self saving system #i can’t believe i wrote a 650 word essay with citations instead of doing my coursework

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sugar-grigri · 3 months

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The ambivalence of life: the massage metaphor

I'm going to get straight to the point: Denji is perfectly right to want to suffer - it's precisely what he lacked in his 'normal' life.

To understand this, let's go back to the chapter.

Introducing Denji as a CSM wannabe right at the start of the chapter isn't as insignificant as you might think, because this chapter helps to differentiate between CSM and a CSM wannabe.

After all, Denji could very well be one, and chapter 150 makes it clear that the protagonist's dream is to be a CSM, so he literally wants... to be a CSM.

But in order to become CSM himself, we have to understand what CSM is. And that's precisely where the difference lies between a CSM wannabe and Denji as CSM.

Part 2 has repeatedly shown that 'CSM' has become a marketing product, an idol for young people, a source of detestation for others, like express usurpers who have taken to the stage. In short, CSM's identity began to become more diffuse, questioned to the point where it seemed to escape Denji. So what is CSM?

Well, let me ask you this: what's the first thing you think of when I mention CSM?

Most fans will cite the most traumatic and tragic chapters, shuddering at the mere mention of volume 9. There's your answer: suffering is the secret of CSM's identity.

But let's move away from this more meta side, and get back to the chapter.

I know that Nayuta being pushed aside and put in her place stung some people's hearts and it hurt me too! But Denji is right to push her away, cruel as that may seem. Because the complexity of Denji and Nayuta's relationship also lies in the fact that their relationship can have several negative sides.

Firstly, Nayuta is and remains the demon of control, a demon who can't help but have a hold, even over those she loves. And she has done this with Denji on one occasion: when she forbids him to see Asa again.

She forbids it out of a desire to protect him, fearing that Denji will be taken in by yet another girl. This reaction depresses Denji, but he regains hope by acting as CSM, motivated by Nayuta herself because CSM is admired and loved by people. The first instinct at this stage would be to think that this is a bit contradictory: why push Nayuta away when she's the first to admire and encourage CSM?

Because she hasn't grasped what CSM is all about either. I'll expand on that later, but for now, keep in mind that suffering is intrinsic to CSM. Even when she prevented Denji from continuing his story with Asa, she was preventing Denji from suffering, in itself, from experimenting. The same experience can be just as beneficial as it can be negative, and it's part of the game of life not to know the outcome of a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't go with others.

And that's what Nayuta has done, the demon of control has a happiness that's enough to be two, it's a demon that risks being alone so much that a single loved one is enough to make her happy. But that's Nayuta's idea, not Denji's.

I'll come back to this a bit more, but for the moment I'm still going to follow the chapter. Denji almost comes to thank Barem and the others for burning down his house and his pets, but he's also aware that morality is being undermined and even talks to Pochita about it. And that's fascinating.

Even though it may seem horrible, the loss of his animal family allows Denji to realise that he needs this suffering in his life, for many reasons. If Kishibe judged Denji as a man made to kill demons, it's because suffering makes him gloat, because it's the most intense experience he's had in his life.

Transforming himself into a CSM is a way for Denji to confront suffering; he has even internalised it since he was a child, making his body suffer to pay off his debts.

CSM is a creature made for suffering. When Aki became possessed by the Gun Devil, CSM was the culmination of Denji's suffering, his demonic form killing his brother. Just as Denji transformed into Pochita was saved by a dying Power.

The foundations of Denji, Aki and Power only consolidated Denji's relationship with suffering. This double facet, between love and suffering through grief. Pochita is another example, because becoming CSM was followed by an experience of mourning, the loss of Pochita who had merged with him.

Suffering is as intrinsic to all species as are death and love because suffering is the result of both, the love we have for others is the cause of our suffering when they die.

CSM is this universality, with Pochita sacrificing himself to prevent Denji from dying, suffering every time the cable is pulled. And instead of fighting it, CSM uses it as the engine of his chainsaws. When Nayuta says that this is not the time for chainsaws, she wants to prevent her brother from suffering. But Denji understands that it's precisely when he's suffering that it's time to be CSM.

Having your head and arms brutally chopped off hurts, fighting demons hurts, in short, transforming into a CSM physically hurts and must hurt. Imagine having a cable cut in half across your torso: it hurts, so why pull it? That's why Denji IS CSM, because it's when it hurts that he realises he wants to be CSM?

Hybrids don't exploit this pain, demons like the Eternity Demon are even afraid of it, and that's what explains CSM's superiority: suffering exalts him and he uses it as a means to fight. When Quanxi cut off the weapons' heads, it was enough for them to admit defeat, while Denji calmly puts his head back on, not giving up the fight.

Weapons can't die, but they can see others die, just as suffering can't escape them either. Either they see themselves almost as demigods, as prophets, or they can see themselves as great knights out to save the world.

Denji knows how to exploit his nature; he drinks blood at the slightest opportunity, tries to devour like a demon and is not afraid to use it, unlike the other hybrids. (Quanxi is an exception)

As the spear weapon starts to provoke CSM by saying to really scare them, CSM exploits being sliced in half. Suffering is the fear of weapons.

The whole thing also has a symbolic force, because we've been trying endlessly to cut Denji in two, his human life on the one hand and his life as CSM on the other. Cutting CSM in two won't do him any good, all he has to do is pull his cable.

But above all, the comparison with massage is a very good one, because it sums up life, this combination of good sensations and not-so-good ones. This is precisely what pitted Denji against Makima, that bad films or bad facets of the world and humanity must exist.

This time, part 2 doesn't boil down to this ideology; what Denji is saying is that to live is also to suffer, to be happy is also to have been unhappy. All these things are not mutually exclusive, they go together.

That's why Denji wins against the weapons, because he won't fight against the suffering they'll put him through, he'll use it to the full, knowing that behind it all there'll be a good feeling. And that seeing the positive side even in pain is nothing other than hope.

Denji himself says that life is a superposition of all these facets. There are things we may never get over, but they don't stop us from moving forward. That's why this chapter is incredible, because Denji doesn't accept suffering as a demon when he's fighting, he wants to accept it in his life too, Denji's life, he has to experiment without Nayuta's permanent approval.

Denji has lost many people close to him, including his pets. It is precisely through their loss that he wants to suffer. Because suffering is the privilege of the living.

Chainsaw Man is nothing more than 2 entities reunited to survive together.

CSM's laughter is symbolic of this, and chapter 151 made an explicit reference to chapter 82 when Makima starts laughing despite the paroxysm of suffering for Denji, who has just seen Power die. What Fujimoto does is bring together the previous antagonist and the protagonist, to bring out the essence of his work.

Both Makima and Denji laugh despite the horror of the situation as the mask finally comes off, Makima presents her plans and Denji realises what Chainsaw Man is. In short, laughter is the symbol of letting go, as the mask finally comes off. And all this sums up Chainsaw Man, this confrontation between comedy and tragedy, this strange association.

Readers, don't fight the suffering of the characters either, you're reading CSM precisely because of it. You want to suffer just like CSM. So have fun with it.

#chainsaw man #csm #csm part 2 #csm spoilers #csm 152 #csm 151 #denji hayakawa #denji #asa mitaka #yoru #nayuta #nayuta hayakawa #kishibe #pochita #makima #tatsuki fujimoto #my thoughts #csm analysis

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markscherz · 4 months

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I like being nerdy and reading academic articles, but I find it hard to find things that interest me unless I spend a bunch of time filing through Google scholar and things like that. How do I find interesting science news, academic discussions, etc. as an undergrad/beginner?

You can follow specific streams on e.g. Phys.org or Eurekalerts, but that might be a bit tedious. I would recommend letting the articles come to you: set up Google Scholar alerts for scientists who publish on topics that interest you. You can also set up a ResearchGate account to do the same. When I was *first* starting to be aware of scientific papers in high school, I was getting most of my science information from reading the Economist. It's not the best venue, but it is more approachable than, say, Nature or Science, to a young student who is curious about the general goings on in the world of academia. NewScientist or something may be better. It was just what I had access to at the time.

But also bear in mind that the world has changed dramatically in the 14 years since I started undergrad (sorry, just gonna go vomit while that number sinks in). Yes, tools for finding literature are more widely available than ever, but publication rate has skyrocketed, and average quality has generally decreased because there is so much pressure to publish fast and editorial quality is lower than ever. So I don't actually know how to go about starting anymore.

All I can say is that when I was starting out, I felt like you describe. Totally overwhelmed, and unsure where to start. What I did was pursue my passion—reptiles and amphibians of Madagascar—and keep meticulous notes of those first papers I was reading.

Nowadays, I typically go on deep dives a bit like Wikipedia rabbit holes; starting from a recent interesting article, I will flag sources they cite that I should read, and then rinse and repeat until I have 300 tabs open and cannot possibly read even the abstracts of all the work.

One important thing is to try to stay abreast of current research, while also continuing to get a better footing on the background. That will be very, very useful later in your career. Read the 'greats' on the subject of interest, but also the 'up-and-comings'/'movers and shakers'. But this is probably advice for later, when you have established the real direction you are interested in. For now, explore the waters!

#science #academia #undergrad #biology #sciblr #studyblr #answers by Mark #caterpillarwoman

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micer2012 · 2 months

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hi :D

xisuma talked about the theory (the one game theory stole) about 38 minutes into the latest stream! (Feb 4)

he once again mentioned that yeah, he belives game theory plagiarized it, but he also mentioned that your theory included the point that was based on a rendering issue (and GT "made the same mistake") and idk if he mentioned it before but now I'm wondering what that part is 🤔

that's it ty byeee

HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

youtube

2/4/24 Hermitcraft 10 | First Stream with Sicksuma! 31:48:

“Hey X, big fa[n], wanted to know if you watched the Hermitcraft game theory and what you think about it.”

Yeah I did see it, and…

I still, I still have very mixed feelings about it. I don’t wanna get dragged into, yknow, um… A sorta calling people out or anything like that, but the explanation, that we were given about that had never been satisfactory for me.

I-I really think that that was plagiarized. Um- The biggest reason I think it was is because… Apart from the theory being SO on point with this fan theory, like beat for beat, the fan theory, the original one, has a detail in it, which is a complete and utter misunderstanding of something that was just a rendering issue? There was a rendering issue in the video that this fan extrapolated into meaning something. And then, so did the Game Theorists, um… fan theory or whatever you wanna call it, right? They made the same extrapolation on a rendering error, to me it was just… too uncanny, and… supposedly, no, the writers never did that, uh, y’know I’m not here to say they did or they didn’t, it’s of course entirely possible and you can never know, it’s just it never satisfied me, it never felt right.

So um, yeah, I-I still feel not too great about that. Like it was nice to have my story in a big video, that- that felt really cool, but the way in which it happened, not cool I don’t think. It just, uh, I don’t buy it.

[...]

34:35: “X doesn’t buy his own lore, that’s so damn cool” says memcbest- I don’t know what you mean by that, I’m not saying I don’t buy my own lore I’m saying- I think- I think it was plagiarism. I really do. Like I said, an uncanny amount of similarities, like beat for beat with this fan theory, and then even misinterpreting a rendering error the same way, it just- it didn’t feel right AT all. It really felt like this had been ripped off.

…So yeah, so therefore, I feel bittersweet about it. Like it’s cool that there’s a video out there on Evil X, but it… it should’ve been made by someone else, y’know. Or with the original theorist’s consent. That’s how I feel about it.

Later on he goes on about other channels not citing their sources and furthering the same misunderstanding/false info because they’re just plagiarizing from each other, but it’s not directly related so I won’t transcribe it. He says plagiarism is an interesting topic to think about. He also talks about how AI will make it worse, and about having seen the hbomberguy video ^^

I THINK. THE RENDERING ERROR HE'S TALKING ABOUT IS the point of EX's eyes reflecting as Jeff's i put at the end of my first post:

BUT ANYWAY. THIS MEANS A LOT TO MEEE THIS REALLY DOES MEAN A LOT. the stance xisumas given before this to my knowledge is "it looks suspicious but we cant know unless they say something" so to hear. someone who absolutely has all the facts, is unbiased towards either of us, say firmly game theory's statement doesn't hold up and it's Obvious it's copied from mine. IT. MEANS A LOTTTT

#XISUMA #EVIL XISUMA #HERMITCRAFT #HERMITCRAFT SEASON 10 #S10 #HC #HCS10 #JEFF THE MINION #MATPAT #GAME THEORY #MCYT #EXIAVOJTMMC #PLAGIARISM #MINE #EX

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rongzhi · 3 months

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Hi ge, hope all is well. I seem to remember you did like an etymology post for the character gǒu. Could you do a similar one for 龙 when you have a minute? Thanks! Was curious as to the pictographic representations it evolved from.

Sure!

[**I'm summarising/translating from Baidu, wikipedia, and hanziyuan btw**]

Variants of the words 龙/lóng (龍) can be found as early as oracle bone script (甲骨文) from the Shang dynasty (1600 BCE - 1046 BCE). Above: (1-2) Shang dynasty variant; (3-4) Western Zhou; (5-6) Warring States; (7) 小篆 /Qin seal script variant as seen also in 说文解字, a Han dynasty dictionary compiled in 100 CE; (8) Han clerical script; regular script, traditional (楷书) ; regular script, simplified. Text at the bottom of the above images cites pages from the dictionaries and pages that the characters can be found in.

龙 is catergorised as a pictogram (象形字), a character that is derived from a picture, so unlike the word 狗, which is phono-semantic (形声字), its composition is unique and you can't breakdown the components to find sound or meaning. There are six methods of character formation (造字法/六书) in Chinese: pictogram (象形), ideogram (指事), combined ideogram (会意), phono-semantic (形声), transfer character/mutually explanatory (转注), and loan (假借).

The character 龙 originally and mainly refers to a mythological creature with a long body, horns, scales of a fish, claws, the ability to fly as well as swim, as well as the power to gather clouds and cause rain.

In oracle bone script, two variants of the character initially emerged (depicted above, labeled A and B), meant to illustrate the "real" appearance of the mythological creature. Later oracle bone scripts would simplify the body and a 辛 character would begin to emerge at the head. Oracle characters and bronze characters (characters inscribed in bronze) would appear similar, with the main difference being that bronze characters often included several "teeth" in the long's mouth:

Oracle bone script variants (甲骨文)

Bronze character variants (金文)

From oracle bone and bronze to seal script and beyond, the character become more complex, with what were once teeth forming the component 月 from 肉, the ribs (flesh), and the head of the long being realised as a 立, from 王 (king). With seal script, the character transformed into a blockier shape, reaching an earlier variant of the traditional regular script 龍.

A Sui dynasty non-standard variant of 龍 was 尨 , which could also sometimes be written with just two 撇/pie (the left slanting strokes). When creating the simplified version of the character, another 撇 was done away with, creating 龙.

Other variants from classical Chinese (古文):

竜、𦱉、𢅛、𠊋、㰍、𥫈、龒、䰱

Pronunciation of the character can be found in the 2nd century dictionary 说文解字 Shuowen jiezi;

【龍部】力鍾切 - (lì zhōng);

切 in such dictionaries stands for 反切 fanqie; this means pronunciation is indicated by combining the two other characters; li + zhong = lóng

Sources:

baidu article

hanziyuan

#text #answered ask #blandings13 #language ask

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connorsbonez · 5 months

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Stalkers and Cryptids

Pre-OT4, Established OT3

Bernard: So hear me out, but…*proceeds to talk about his theories while citing his sources.*

Wes, literally vibrating in his spot as he death-clutches one of Bernard’s Polaroid photos that he handed him: Oh…oh nooooo

{ - Later - }

Danny, abruptly being woken up by the intensity of Wes’ staring: …Will you ever realize how creepy it is to stare at someone until they wake up? It’s like you want to bring me completely to the dead side.

Wes, currently straddling Danny as he stares down at him: So I was hanging out with Bernard a while ago…

Danny, raising an eyebrow: Oookay? That’s Tim’s friend, right? The one he has a crush on?

Wes, nodding: Yep. A fellow ginger and conspiracy theorist.

Danny: Ah, so Tim does have a type, ginger and crazy.

Wes: I’m putting a pin in that for later because that’s not the point right now, but he also has a thing for black hair, blue eyed superheroes. I was hanging out with Bernard and…

Danny: Wait what-

Wes, leaning forward slightly: He told me his theories, with evidence and cited sources. Every single one of them. I listened to them all. They’re amazing even if some of them aren’t correct.

Danny, being hit with the realization: Oh boy.

Wes: I want that man carnally. *Lifting up a thick folder.* And I have several reasons why we should seduce him into our polycule, I’m sure once I tell Tim he’ll be on board since he has a crush on the man, and I’m sure you’ll love him too but it’s okay if you don’t.

Danny, running a hand through his hair: Okay. One, remind me to never let you go to one of those conspiracy theorists meeting ever, two, I’d like to hang out with Bernard before we make any official decision, and three….go finish your board so we can talk with Tim.

Wes practically tossing himself off the bed.

{ - Later/Extra - }

Danny: So…what exactly did you mean by Tim also having a thing for ‘black hair, blue eyed superheroes’?

Wes, sighing, and throwing a newspaper with Superboy on the front at Danny’s face.

Danny: Thanks stalker.

#danny fenton #wesley weston #wes weston #bernard dowd #mentioned Tim Drake #stalkers and cryptids #danny phantom #some people call their partners babe #or sweetheart maybe darling #Danny calls Wes stalker #among other things

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right-there-ride-on · 1 month

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Chronology of Major Gyjo moments (sources cited)

Gyro refuses to leave Johnny behind despite making it a point that he won't be slowed down by him

Chapter 14 - Across the Arizona Desert: Continuing on the Shortest Route

2) After being attacked, Johnny states the only one he trusts is Gyro

Also, early example of Johnny being willing to give the corpse up to save Gyro (even before Sugar Mountain!)

Chapter 27: Tusk (Part 3)

3) Gyro disobeying his father and familial tradition by giving in to his urge to save Johnny (and thereby fight like a 'true man' for what he wants)

Chapter 35: The True Man's World (Part 3)

4) Gyro putting his faith in Johnny to defeat their attacker. When Johnny thinks he's failed, he cradles Gyro's face and asks for forgiveness. (it's a major moment. to me)

Chapter 44: A Silent Way (Part 5)

5) Ok this one is just a little sus but I'm putting it in anyway: Gyro dreaming of that time he slept with one of his patients, only to immediately wake up and have a domestic scene with Johnny. For what purpose...?

Chapter 45: The Promised Land Sugar Mountain (Part 1)

6) Johnny gives up the corpse parts for Gyro (again), immediately followed by them drinking away their sorrows into the sunset. Who's doing it like them.

Chapter 48: Tubular Bells (Part 1)

7) Gyro finds the Golden Rectangle, previously described as, “… the foundation for every perfect structure for beauty" (Chapter 43: A Silent Way, Part 4) in Johnny eyes, and refuses to answer Johnny's question about where he's finding it. The implications of what Gyro thinks of Johnny's physical appearance are obvious.

Chapter 52: Wrecking Ball (Part 2)

8) Gyro sacrifices his hand, his only other point of reference for the Golden Rectangle, in order to save Johnny from a hit he probably could have tanked. Even Gyro looks a little surprised at himself... Also, they are all over each other this arc. Gyro is especially protective.

And, a little later:

Chapter 53: Wrecking Ball (Part 3)

9) Once it's revealed that Valentine intends to kill the rest of the racers (at least the ones who pose a threat to him), and makes an attempt on Johnny's life, Gyro attempts to convince Johnny to drop out, implying that he would drop out with him.

Of course, this is immediately followed by Johnny begging Gyro to, at the very least, help Lucy and see what she knows about the corpse parts. Seeing Johnny's distress at being so close to his goal only to have it snatched away from him convinces Gyro to stay in the race (something that will ultimately get him killed) and theorize how they can use the spin to defeat Valentine (via the stirrups). He tries to play it off but goddamn he is in love with him.

Chapter 72: Ticket to Ride (Part 2)

10) Shuiesha coloring may imply that Johnny is wearing Gyro's shirt beneath his own?? It's got the same collar and everything.

First appearance of this coloring choice is Chapter 63: 7 Days in a Week

11) Exchange of secrets no one else knows (they are each other's most important person!)

This panel in particular:

Chapter 76: D4C (Part 9)

12) And last but not least, thee set of chapter titles ever, in which Valetine attempts to bargain with Johnny to spare his life in return for bringing back Gyro. Johnny refuses, not because of any moral quandary about saving the life of an evil man, but because the Gyro brought back would not be the same. On top of that, he recognizes Valentine as a liar.

When it's all over, Johnny just breaks.

And that's the end of the chapter!

Chapters 88 and 89: Break My Heart, Break Your Heart (Parts 1 & 2)

13) Johnny's Goodbye (I like this scene more in b+w what can I say)

Chapter 95: The World of Stars and Stripes (Outro)

Obviously Johnny and Gyro have a lot of smaller moments too, but these are the ones that come to mind when I think of them!

#gyjo catalogue #gyjo repository #gyjo #gyro zeppeli #johnny joestar #steel ball run #sbr #holy fuck the resolution is garbage #anyway. I fully believe they were in love. I love gay people #my posts

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indigovigilance · 6 months

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Anthony, Anthony, Anthony

What does your Anthony mean, exactly?

I feel like your Anthony and my Anthony are different Anthonies…

In 1941 we learn that Crowley has named himself Anthony J. Crowley (Aziraphale doesn’t pronounce the H but closed captions write it and Neil Gaiman hashtags #Anthony and also it’s Anthony the script book so I guess Michael Sheen is just doing a thing idk). I haven’t seen extensive discussion of this topic but I’m going to jump in with both feet.

I propose that Anthony actually has a double meaning; that is, Crowley chose this name for one reason, but Aziraphale believes he chose it for another.

(I cite as indirect inspo a wonderful Tumblr meta about how the ineffable blockheads have completely different interpretations of Jane Austen and how this informs their S2 decision-making).

Read or bookmark for later on Ao3 because this got away from me and now it's a 2,888 word meta on people named Anthony what am I doing with my life

~~~

First and foremost, let it be stated that there is no canon for when Crowley anti-christened himself Anthony. Neil Gaiman himself won’t know until he writes it.

Secondly, let it be known that I am not an historian nor a literary scholar of any kind. So people who actually know these stories may find themselves cringing at my surface-level summaries and inaccurate interpretations: I’m just piecing together what I could find easily. I invite someone else to revise and republish if they can delve deeper on these topics.

Part 1: Mark Antony

There is a bust of Marc Antony in Mr. Fell’s bookshop as of S1E1 modern day (2019) which is still there at the end of S2E6, where it features prominently in the center of a shot. In 2019, the bust is adorned with yellow ribbons; in 2023, it is naked. The flashback to 1941 doesn’t give a good view of the part of the shop where the bust would normally be located so I have no idea when the bust actually got added to Aziraphale’s collection. I’m going to assume, for argument’s sake, that Aziraphale acquired this bust after the Blitz. I’m going to further propose that he acquired this bust because he believes that Crowley named himself Anthony after Mark Antony.

Why would Aziraphale think that? Two reasons.

1) Mark Antony was the loser of a civil war for liberty

Mark Antony was a good and loyal Roman citizen, serving Caesar with distinction, even attaining the title of Master of the Horse (Caesar’s second-in-command). See additional metas on horse symbolism seen throughout S2. After the death of Caesar, however, Octavian and members of the senate turned on Antony, starting a civil war. You know, much like a certain someone we know that was involved in Dubious Battle on the Plains of Heaven.

Mark Antony was loyal to Caesar’s political mission, which was to establish a Roman republic, where the voices of the citizens would be heard through their representatives [a suggestion box, if you will]. But Antony’s defeat marked the end of the republic, ushering in an age of autocracy. Octavian, following his victory over Antony, crowned himself the first Emperor of Rome.

2) Mark Antony was a libertine, but also the loyal, ardent lover of Cleopatra

Mark Antony was an infamous, lascivious, debaucherous, womanizing lush. He was also Cleopatra’s lover and closest ally. Though Mark Antony could not often meet with Cleopatra, their affair was allegedly very romantic, and from afar Antony did everything in his power to support Cleopatra politically, expanding her territorial holdings even while they were apart for years.

So legendary was Antony's wanton hedonism that when he went to Athens, he was deified as the New Dionysus, mystic god of wine, happiness, and immortality. Religious propaganda declared Cleopatra the New Isis or Aphrodite (mythic goddess of love and beauty) to his New Dionysus. The ineffable emperors, if you will. [source: Encyclopedia Britannica]

Parallels arising after 1941:

After Antony had officially divorced Octavian’s sister, Octavian formally broke off the ties of personal friendship with Antony and declared war, not against Antony but against Cleopatra. Much like how Shax, after her S2E1 “you scratch my back I’ll scratch yours” proposal, threatened Crowley that if he did not assist her search for Gabriel, Hell would declare war not on him but on Aziraphale.

The legacy of Mark Antony, therefore, is one of hedonism, romance, fighting for a cause that you believe in, and losing that fight. It’s easy to see how Aziraphale drew the conclusion that Anthony J. Crowley took his inspiration from this historical figure.

Part 2: Antony & Cleopatra

How is this a part 2? Weren’t we just talking about Mark Antony and his relationship with Cleopatra? Hear me out.

Crowley has never expressed much interest in politics. Every time something of political import happens, he declares that the humans made it up themselves while also taking credit for it with Hell. This includes 1793 Paris and the Spanish Inquisition. If I forgot any, drop them in the comments.

But Crowley has a deep and pervasive interest in stories, especially romance stories. If he can keep the Bentley from turning it into Queen, he listens to the Velvet Underground. He watches Richard Curtis films (to the degree that he identifies them by director rather than by title). Though book canon is not show canon, it’s worth mentioning that his favorite serial is Golden Girls; while not a romance, it is certainly heartfelt storytelling at its finest and a homosexual staple.

We know, too, that Shakspeare stole a line from him, with an adjustment for pronouns:

"Age Does Not Wither, Nor Custom Stale His Infinite Variety”

Let’s first talk about Crowley’s context for the quote.

Picture it: the Globe Theater, 1601, the house is empty because it’s one of Shakespeare’s gloomy ones and an irritated young Burbage, in the role of Hamlet, is droning out his lines like he would rather be anywhere else.

Burbage: To be or not to be. That is the question.

Aziraphale: To be! I mean, not to be! Come on, Hamlet! Buck up!

Aziraphale looks at Crowley, grinning with delight. Crowley stares back at him, shaking his head slightly, but a smile tugs at the corner of his lip. He wants to be embarrassed, but cannot help being charmed.

Aziraphale: He’s very good, isn’t he?

Crowley: Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety.

Crowley is looking up at the stage, and speaks immediately after Aziraphale has made a comment about Burbage. But is Crowley talking about Burbage? Does it stand to reason that age would not have withered, or custom not staled, this twenty year old (yet somehow jaded) stage actor?

I propose that this is a poetic inversion of the S2E1 cold open, wherein the Starmaker, looking out upon creation, says: “Look at you, you’re gorgeous!” and Aziraphale erroneously thinks the statement was directed at him. Here, even though Crowley isn’t looking at Aziraphale, I believe that Crowley is actually talking about Aziraphale when he delivers that iconic line. Unlike Burbage, Aziraphale is old, very, very old, and we know that he has a penchant for custom, wearing the same clothes and listening to the same music for century upon century. Yet here is this precious angel being a cheerful little peanut gallery of one, continuing to surprise the demon after all this time. Neither age nor custom has staled Aziraphale’s infinite variety.

When Shakespeare commits the line to a play written 1606-1607, a few years after this event, Crowley will recognize his own sentiment about Aziraphale issuing from Antony’s mouth about Cleopatra. The actual historical events will not have left much of an impression, but the immortalization of his own admiration of the angel in human romantic fiction will have.

It must be mentioned that Antony & Cleopatra is a tragedy, where the star-crossed lovers are kept apart by warring factions that demand loyalty to the state at the preclusion of each other.

There are also some (as far as I can tell) nearly copy-paste plot points from Romeo & Juliet about a misunderstood faked suicide followed by actual suicide and the lovers dying in each others’ arms. It does not have a happy ending. Anthony Crowley deliberately choosing his “Christian name” from this play embodies not only his deep love but his hopelessness that he can ever get the happily ever after he desires.

In Summary

Crowley was an admirer, in one respect or another, of Mark Anthony, though he relied more heavily on Shakespeare’s portrayal and reimagining of the character than Aziraphale gives due credit. Nevertheless, the difference…

Wait a minute…

What’s that?

Is that…

A piece of canon evidence that completely undermines my argument??

This screenshot will only be visible to Tumblr users (sorry Ao3), but at some point we get a good look at the Mona Lisa sketch that Crowley has hanging in his apartment. It is signed (translated from Italian) “To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V.”

The problem with this is, the Mona Lisa was painted 100 years before Shakespeare penned Antony & Cleopatra.

However, Neil Gaiman reblogged this transcription and translation, posing the hypothetical, “I wonder if Crowley knows what the A in A.Z. Fell stands for.”

Could it be that the Notorious NRG is jerking us around and sending us on wild goose chases? Absolutely a possibility. But. Let’s give a little grace for a moment, and assume that this comment was made in good faith. A bold assumption, I know. But humor me.

We know that Crowley and Aziraphale both knew Jane Austen, but from completely different perspectives. It stands to reason that Crowley knew da Vinci the scientist, but that Antonio Fell knew Leo da V., an artist with a heart that yearned for an unavailable lover. I’m just making wild conjecture that Lisa Gherardini (aka Mona Lisa), the wife of Florentine cloth merchant Francesco del Giocondo, was a love interest of da Vinci, but it could be true in the GO universe and would make for a great story.

Aziraphale also collects signed items from famous people; the inscribed books of Professor Hoffman to a wonderful student, and the S.W. Erdnase book, signed with his real name, come to mind. The Mona Lisa draft fits in much better with that collection of souvenirs than with anything in Crowley’s apartment. So it stands to reason that it could actually be addressed to Aziraphale.

There remains the question of how or why Crowley has it, but I won’t subject that to speculation here. All to say. Neil Gaiman’s implication-by-redirect is… possible. So let’s assume that it is the case, just for a moment.

If the Mona Lisa sketch is signed to “Antonio” Fell, then this allows the above theory regarding Crowley’s self-naming to remain intact. But it brings up a few questions regarding Aziraphale, not the least of which is: why did he name himself Antonio/Anthony?

Part 3: Saint Anthony of Padua

Anthony was the chosen name of a Portuguese monk, taken upon joining the Fransican order. Anthony rose to prominence in the 13th century as a celebrated orator, delivering impassioned and eloquent sermons. He is also associated with some fish symbolism, since he preached at the shore and fish gathered to listen. He was, incidentally, a lover of books:

Anthony had a book of psalms that contained notes and comments to help when teaching students and, in a time when a printing press was not yet invented, he greatly valued it.

When a novice decided to leave the hermitage, he stole Anthony's valuable book. When Anthony discovered it was missing, he prayed it would be found or returned to him. The thief did return the book and in an extra step returned to the Order as well.

The book is said to be preserved in the Franciscan friary in Bologna today. [source: https://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=24]

This miraculous incident, wherein the thief not only returns a valuable book but also has a change of heart and returns to the bosom of organized religion, smacks of angelic intervention. But that is neither here nor there.

Saint Anthony is the Patron Saint of the Lost, and is prayed to by those seeking to recover lost things. What is “lost” in this context is usually an item, rather than a person or an intangible concept, however he is also “credited with many miracles involving lost people, lost things and even lost spiritual goods,” such as faith. [Edit: @tsilvy helpfully contributes that "Here in Italy Sant'Antonio is commonly not just the saint patron of lost things, but, maybe primarily, the saint patron of lost *causes*."] He died at the age of 35, and in artwork is typically depicted with a book and the Infant Child Jesus.

It’s a defensible position that the thing that gives Aziraphale the most consternation across the millennia is Crowley’s loss of his angelic status, and it could even be framed such that Aziraphale does not consider Crowley actually fallen, but rather simply lost. It is a fact that he finds difficult to reconcile and, depending on your reading of the Final Fifteen, the offer to restore Crowley’s angelic status is one that is so pivotal to resolving his internal conflict that he cannot refuse. If this conflict is so central for Aziraphale, perhaps he did name himself after a booklover and the patron saint of lost things, hoping that the name would carry with it some of the power of the blessing, and return Crowley to the light, and in turn, to him.

But wait.

Because I googled “St Anthony” to look for some images and….

St. Anthony of the Desert

I shit you not there are multiple St. Antonies and we’re going to talk about another one of them with respect to Aziraphale because this guy is bonkers. The story traces to the Vitae Patrum, yet another fringe biblical text and I cannot even get a quick answer on whether it is canon or apocrypha because it’s so fringe. Anyways. I think the best way to explain St. Anthony of the Desert comes from the wikipedia page on the Desert Fathers:

Sometime around AD 270, Anthony heard a Sunday sermon stating that perfection could be achieved by selling all of one's possessions, giving the proceeds to the poor, and following Jesus. He followed the advice and made the further step of moving deep into the desert to seek complete solitude.

[He] became known as both the father and founder of desert monasticism. By the time Anthony had died in AD 356, thousands of monks and nuns had been drawn to living in the desert following Anthony's example, leading his biographer, Athanasius of Alexandria, to write that "the desert had become a city." The Desert Fathers had a major influence on the development of Christianity.

Let’s all agree that this guy is not Aziraphale; this whole becoming an ascetic and living alone in the middle of a desert thing? Not his cuppertea. But St. Anthony is interesting not just for his decision to go into the desert, but what happened when he got there.

The Torment of St Anthony is a 15th century painting commonly attributed to Michaelangelo. It depicts demons crawling all over and attacking a hermit.

But the first round of demons are scraping the bottom of the barrel, practically the damned. Anthony’s journey continues and he meets another demon. Actually he meets two; a centaur, who is not very helpful, and then a satyr who is. It is much easier to find paintings of St. Anthony and the Centaur than of St. Anthony and the Satyr, so you don’t get an image, but I find the satyr to be a much more interesting character, so you get that story instead:

Anthony found next the satyr, "a manikin with hooked snout, horned forehead, and extremities like goats's feet." This creature was peaceful and offered him fruits, and when Anthony asked who he was, the satyr replied, "I'm a mortal being and one of those inhabitants of the desert whom the Gentiles, deluded by various forms of error, worship under the names of Fauns, Satyrs, and Incubi. I am sent to represent my tribe. We pray you in our behalf to entreat the favor of your Lord and ours, who, we have learnt, came once to save the world, and 'whose sound has gone forth into all the earth.'" Upon hearing this, Anthony was overjoyed and rejoiced over the glory of Christ. He condemned the city of Alexandria for worshiping monsters instead of God while beasts like the satyr spoke about Christ.

St. Anthony, then, is entreated by a demon to ask forgiveness from God upon the demons, and St. Anthony, seemingly, agrees to do it. He’s overjoyed to ask God to forgive demons. In connection to my analysis of the origins of the Metatron, and how Aziraphale and Crowley’s potential beef with him is that, as a human put in the exact same situation, he did the opposite, refusing to take the demon’s petition for mercy to God but instead taking it upon himself to confirm their unforgivability (yes that’s a word now) and damnation.

That seems like it would be pretty important to Aziraphale.

In Summary

I give up. I have no idea what’s going on with this show anymore. Here are two options each for both of our ineffable husbands to have given themselves the same God-blessed/damned name. You guys tell me what you think, I just have a pile of evidence and no spoons to evaluate it.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #anthony j crowley

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kindlingkeen · 2 days

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Yo as the resident Jason Todd fan, maybe you can answer this for me because I haven’t been able to find the answer anywhere else.

At some point in RHATO, Jason gives up his most cherished memory. The one where he’s sick & Bruce stayed home with him.

He was offered it back, and told them to keep it. He refused the offer. I’ve heard that the memory gets mentioned again later but I don’t know if he ever actually really takes it back.

Do you know if he ever gets it back? It’s both sad and not if he doesn’t, because on one hand he’s losing a good memory, but on the other I think it helps cut him off from Batman. Which really might be good for him (looks at all the other comic issues w how Bruce has treated Jason)

Hey, anon. Thanks for the ask! 💙

I’m by no means an expert on the comics, but I did have a bit of a comic-buying hissy fit a bunch of months ago trying to answer this exact question for myself. Here’s what I concluded (complete with pretty pictures because I’m a firm believer in citing your sources):

So in the new 52 rhato #3 (written by Scott Lobdell), Jay, Roy and Kori each give up their most cherished memory to gain entrance to the Chamber of All. The memories are held by Sa’ru (an all powerful being is also apparently a bratty child?).

Sa’ru gives Roy and Kori their memories back when they exit the chamber, but Jay refuses his.

Skip forward a bunch of issues to rhato #19 and Jason actually has Sa’ru take all his memories after a thing with the Joker (that’s a whole different blog post) and he ends up with complete amnesia. The series is being written by James Tynion at this point, not Scott Lobdell.

But Jason eventually gets all of his memories back in rhato #26.

I think you can make a reasonable argument that Tynion intended this to include his most cherished memory, as Jason talks about remembering his finest moments, his lowest moments, etc. Note, the series is still being written by Tynion.

But now skip way way ahead to rhato rebirth #34, and we get this exchange.

So, no, I guess he didn’t get it back? Note, that the series is back to being written by Lobdell at this point.

Honestly, I think this is just another stellar example of dc saying, continuity, consistency? What are these strange and foreign concepts? And thus authors doing whatever they want, to hell with any prior storylines. Tynion was clearing going for an arc where Jason reclaimed his memories. Lobdell had a different idea in mind.

I don’t know that it really matters either way. I mean it’s one memory, right? So even if it’s gone, Jason’s second most cherished memory just moves up into spot numero uno. Based on how much Bruce clearly meant to Jason, and that Bruce was actually a good Dad in most of the comics featuring Robin!Jason, I’m guessing that that memory is of the two of them together, too.

I’d say go with whatever makes you happy and fits your own head canons for Jason. I hate the whole storyline and pretend it doesn’t exist while I stick my tongue out at dc and tell them liberally to fuck right off.

Hopefully that was helpful/informative, or at least worth a merit badge toward my resident Jason Todd fan status (I’m expecting my vest in the mail any day now).

#keen converses #amnesiac jason todd #that think about the most cherished memory #red hood and the outlaws #rhato #rhato rebirth #comics references #jason todd #red hood #bruce wayne #batman

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accirax · 2 months

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Elliot Cuevas Lore Check (Yoidoreshirazu MV Analysis)

After the intellectuals in our community had the thought to check the description of DRDTdev’s latest MV masterpiece, one fact became pretty clear: DRDT’s sparkly new MV is not fronted by one of our main cast of sixteen, or even a particularly pre-established side character. Instead, it’s time for Elliot Cuevas to take the stage, and bring with him a lot of questions ranging from “wait, that’s what he looks like?” to “wait, is the killing game predicated on a basis of lies?!” There’s… a lot running through my mind right now, and I see no better way to process it than to start answering the questions that I and others may have as best I can through a theory post. I’m living!

And when I say “answering the questions,” I mean that quite literally. I think that the best way to frame this analysis is to divide it into headlining questions, and tackle what we know and what we can learn piece by piece. Therefore, I think the most obvious question we can start with is:

#1: Who is Elliot Cuevas?

We don’t have a ton of information about the guy, but I’ve tried to compile what we do. By far the most information we’d gotten on Ellie prior to this MV was from the Chapter 2 Part 1 Q&A, where DRDTdev described a little about all of the major siblings we’d heard of so far. Here’s what DRDTdev said:

So, we know that Elliot was given the nickname “Ellie” (and presumably likes it, given that he’s credited in the MV as “Ellie”), and he looks really similar to Charles, which we also saw in the MV. Given how similar he looks to Charles, I’m going to assume that they’re biological brothers, which would make Ellie hispanic/latino. Similarly, I’m assuming that he identifies as male, due to his use of he/him pronouns and the term “brother” being applied to him. He likes pancakes and dogs, which… we’ll get back to later. Charles is stated to be 18+ at the start of Despair Time, which would make Ellie 29-32+ if he were alive today. Which… huh. Is he?

#2: Is Ellie alive?

The belief that Ellie is dead isn’t just a popular headcanon that metamorphosed into “fact”– his death is directly referenced in the text in the form of Charles’ secret. Your older brother, Elliot, died.

However, this MV does make it tempting to believe that Ellie could be alive, so let’s give it the benefit of the doubt for a moment. If Ellie is alive, there are two sets of two questions to consider.

Question #1: If Ellie is alive, why did people think he died?

Ellie was in a life threatening scenario that people believed he didn’t escape from, but he did. After this, he either took the opportunity to disappear, or something prevented him from reuniting with his loved ones.

Ellie did die, and the DRDT universe contains some sort of necromantic magic or time travel properties that could bring him back to life.

Question #2: If Ellie is alive, why does the secret say that he’s dead?

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to tell the truth. They learned the information from a source that led them to believe that Ellie had died, and if Ellie turned up alive, they would be just as surprised as everyone else.

Whoever wrote the secrets (likely the mastermind) did so intending to lie. They knew that Ellie was really alive, and included his “death” in the secret just to fuck with Charles. This could also imply that other students’ secrets incorporate some level of lies.

If Ellie is alive, I think that the #1 situation is more likely for both questions.

If Ellie is dead, we don’t know exactly when his death happened. Given that Charles cites it under the umbrella of “childhood amnesia,” we can pin Ellie’s hypothetical death down to a time when Charles was a child. The National Institute of Health defines childhood as 3-11 years old. So, if Ellie died when Charles was 3-11, it would mean Ellie’s age of death would fall between 14 and 23.

I made this little moodboard to try to piece together around what age Ellie might be depicted as in the MV based on how DRDTdev has drawn people of various ages before. This is important under the assumption that Ellie canonically looked like this at some point during his life. ‘Cause (picking obviously wrong numbers here), if Ellie had died when he was, like, 2, it’d be weird if the MV showed him when he was, like, 50, right?

Allow me to take a little detour to discuss the Nageishi sisters and establish their ages. I initially ballparked Arei’s age as around 13 in that picture, which would have made her sisters (who are 2-5 years older than her) 15-18. However, there’s some actual evidence we can pull upon to clarify when that image might have come from.

In Arei and J’s FTE, J says that Arei “definitely [*was*] a highschool bully,” and Arei confirms that she was “the queen of her school.” Assuming that these two are to be believed, we can estimate based on the average age at which an American enters high school as a freshman that Arei has been a bully since at least around 14. While I don’t necessarily expect that Arei came in and became the queen bee on the first day of freshman year, it certainly would have been easier to establish her reign if the other students hadn’t previously seen her being bullied and tortured for a year or so beforehand. Therefore, Arei is probably in a maximum of eighth grade (12-13) in that image, so that she would have had enough time to sabotage her sisters before entering high school.

Additionally, although it isn’t stated in the secret the killing game handed out, Arei confesses to David and Teruko that she “got [her sisters] unlawfully sent to reform school.” Through a bit of googling, I learned that many reform schools cap out at about 16-17 years old, although it’s impossible to confirm that without knowing which state Arei grew up in. If that’s the case, then Fuyuko and Natsuko could only be a maximum of 17 years old, which is in the same sort of age range as Arei being a maximum of 15 in that picture. However, I don’t know if the Nageishi parents/the government would find it too useful to send the sisters to reform school for only one year, so it seems more likely that they’re younger than that in the picture. I might ballpark that Arei is 12 and Fuyuko and Natsuko are 15 in the picture.

Anyways, I think we can definitely rule out the possibility of Ellie dying when Charles was on the lower end of the age spectrum. He looks way older than any of the characters drawn “when they were kids”, and notably older than Arei as well. To me, he also looks older than Ryan, meaning he probably reached the age of an 18+ adult.

Unfortunately, there’s a really large age range that’s gone undepicted between the “18+” killing game participants and Mariabella, the only “parent-aged” adult we’ve seen so far. I would probably put Ellie’s appearance between the two, but it’s also possible that his unkempt hair and eyebags are making him look older than he actually was, a la Syobai Hashimoto of SDRA2 (the link is a spoiler-free picture of him). Syobai’s exact age is unknown, but generally young, yet many people think he’s an old man when they first see him. That phenomenon could be going on with Ellie as well.

If he is, we’ll say, 20 or older, though, there’s a limited number of ages he could have died at that would still fall within Charles’ childhood. If Ellie died, he did so when Charles was in the 8-11 kind of age range. Otherwise, for Ellie to reach the age he’s shown at in the MV, he probably survived to grow older than Charles’ family last remembers him. I think Ellie’s death is probably more likely, but, hey, that means we’ve narrowed down the period in which Charles could have acquired his childhood amnesia. That’s something!

#3: How does Charles feel about Ellie?

Well, okay. Obviously, in the current day, Charles doesn’t know who Ellie is, and therefore probably doesn’t have any strong feelings about him other than confusion. But, before Charles forgot about him, what was Charles’ opinion?

I actually thought that Charles really admiring Ellie was a canon fact, but looking back at it, I don’t think it was ever directly stated. That said, there are several reasons why I thought that their relationship was a positive one.

Told you we’d come back to Ellie liking pancakes! I’m sure it’s not a coincidence that, when Charles thinks of what he’d like to learn how to cook, he comes up with Ellie’s favorite food. It could be that Ellie used to make pancakes for Charles, or that they simply used to go out and get pancakes together, but Charles clearly has some sort of repressed memories about pancakes with his brother that makes him want to seek them out again.

We already knew that Charles and Ellie were known to look very alike, and this MV confirmed that was true, down to the length of their hair. If Charles didn’t like Ellie, he easily could have kept his hair short, like the haircut he had as a child, as a way to make them look less similar. However, Charles is very attached to keeping his hair in a long ponytail, just as Ellie wears it. That implies to me that Charles saw Ellie as enough of a role model to seek replicating the image of his brother through his own style even when he doesn’t remember that Ellie existed. That’s powerful.

#4: Why does Ellie look… like that?

Now this is a point that I’m still confused about. Charles’ affluent backstory has been alluded to multiple times. Both his inability to do his own laundry and his lack of knowledge in the kitchen imply that he had people to cook and clean for him. It’s possible that Charles’ parents were the ones doing that for him (which implies some level of wealth, but not so much as living in a house full of butlers and maids), but the general vibe I’ve gotten is that Charles’ family was well-off enough that they hired help.

If we assume that Charles and Ellie are biological brothers who spent enough time together to form a notable bond, it really seems like they would have grown up in the same household for both of their youths, together. So then, what gives with Ellie’s appearance? The patched up jacket, blemished face, and basic cigarette don’t match at all with the pristine white mansion with hedges that many might imagine for Charles. How would that have played out?

Option A: Ellie was the family’s rebellious wild child

I’m having trouble coming up with good examples, but there’s definitely a trope out there of a big brother character who’s a bit of a rude rebel, but still a pure-hearted dreamer that their younger sibling(s) can really look up to. Ellie was just the member of the uptight Cuevas family that couldn’t be tamed, no matter how hard his parents tried to cramp his thrifty style or stop him from going out and partying(?).

Notably, this option is quite confusing for Charles. Even if this figure is considered the typical epitome of cool, I don’t know if it’s someone who Charles would really gel with. As a child, Charles is depicted as pretty wide-eyed and innocent with his adorable little bubbles. I’m not saying that that kind of kid couldn’t come to idolize their rockstar big bro– just that, if they did, they probably wouldn’t turn out like Charles. Still, it could be an opposites attract situation, or perhaps forgetting Ellie and the ensuing trauma changed Charles more than we would have expected.

This interpretation is also… a bit of a leap, considering what we’ve seen of Ellie.

Like, these are not particularly the expressions of a thrill-seeking party animal who loves to crack open a cold one with the boys. Most of his expressions look wary, scary, or contemplative, and even the two that are smiling are doing so in more of a wry/teasing way. Fun-loving scamp Ellie might fit the way he’s styled his body, but not so much the expressions on his face. Perhaps the characterization was a little off?

Option B: Ellie was the family’s edgy black sheep

Instead of Ellie’s cigarette and messy ponytail implying that he’s supposed to be punk and cool, perhaps they’re meant to indicate that he was more emo and nihilistic. I don’t imagine that the Cuevas household would’ve liked this too much either, but it’s still a plausible way for a privileged teen to rebel against his family system. This kind of attitude matches more with the range of expressions we can gather from Yoidoreshirazu.

However, if it would be hard for Charles to relate to the last guy, I have no idea what Charles would be doing looking up to this guy. Maybe if their one-on-one moments showed Charles the soft heart behind Ellie’s tough exterior, Charles would’ve come to appreciate his perspective on life…? Yeah, I don’t really imagine these two enjoying a plate of pancakes together, either. Also, this would have been when Charles was, like, a kindergartener.

But if that’s the case, what then? Is my image of the Cuevas household just totally off? Or is this version of Ellie not compatible with the Cuevas household at all?

Option C: Ellie was kicked out of his family and left for dead

Especially in front of the grimy brick background and neon street sign, Ellie’s worse-for-wear appearance did make me think that this image of him could have been taken from a time when Ellie was without a home and living on the streets. As in, this look was never associated with the Cuevas household at all.

This option has some definite appeal because it allows a lot more flexibility from Ellie’s personality before he was kicked out. He could have been a stand-up guy, smart like Charles and a great mentor too, and only have adopted his more dour personality once he was kicked out of home. There are plenty of reasons why someone could be disowned that don’t (necessarily) reflect poorly on their character: Google lists being LGBTQ+, dating someone of a different race or religion, getting someone pregnant, or not following the profession your parents wanted for you as possibilities, depending on who the parents are and what they believe.

Any interpretation where the Cuevas parents are somewhat ashamed of Ellie would also help to rationalize why Mr. and Mrs. Cuevas lied to Charles about being an only sibling. If they really loved Ellie, they might have tried to bridge the subject with Charles one day, and not let the memory of their elder son fade into history. If he was someone they didn’t want to associate with in the first place, covering up his death would have been much more emotionally viable.

So, if the Cuevas parents are the kind of people to disown their kid for less-than-fair reasons, Ellie could have still been the kind of treasured big brother figure to Charles one might have expected while also getting kicked to the curb. However, this option raises the definite question of… how did Ellie’s death happen?

On the surface, that might seem like a strange question. Sadly, homeless people in the United States have an average life span that’s 17.5 years shorter than the average housed person’s life span, and the number of deaths have only been increasing in recent years. Especially in a civilization that was once home to the biggest, most awful, most tragic event in human history, trying to survive without a home might be quite difficult.

All that doesn’t really apply to Ellie, though, because we have a pretty decent lead on how he died: dog attack.

Even if he might not remember why, Charles dislikes dogs, and has a remnant of that turbulent relationship etched into his very skin. Ellie actually likes dogs, an interesting point of contrast, but one that makes it clear that dogs are important to Charles’ backstory in some manner. I and others have then speculated that the attack in which Charles got that scar on his arm may have been the time at which Ellie died. Both events– the attack that created the scar and Ellie’s passing– were erased by his childhood amnesia.

The story would play out as something along the lines of “Ellie and Charles used to both really love dogs, and were approached by a dog one day. However, that dog was feral, and attacked Charles. He was bitten on the arm before Ellie told Charles to run as Ellie stayed behind to protect his brother. However, Ellie couldn’t fend off the dog himself, and was instead mauled to death. Charles escaped with an injured arm and a head full of trauma that would cause him to fully erase the memory of his brother from his mind.” Don’t know how feasible that exact scenario is, but I always imagined it as something like that.

So, if Ellie was living on the street at the time of his death, how would the two of them have come together for the dog to attack? Maybe Charles could have been visiting Ellie on his own, but, again, he would have been 8-11 years old at the time. Would the 8-11 year old Charles have really had the means or motive to set out alone to see his brother, and would the Cuevas family have really let their elementary school-aged son wander off into the streets alone?

Then there’s the issue of Ellie’s age again. Look. I’m not trying to say that every 23 year old should be able to 1v1 a feral dog in a fight. I’m 23, and if I had to fight a street dog to the death, I would probably lose! However, while I am a quiet nerd who likes to write thousand word essays about anime video game fanfiction characters in her free time, Ellie seems like a fairly athletic young man. If he looks like Charles, he’s also probably around Charles’ height of 5’9”. Plus, it probably didn’t have to be to the death. Couldn’t Ellie have used those long legs to run away, or his human hands to make an improvised weapon, or something? To me, it feels much more plausible for Ellie to have been killed in a dog attack if he were also a child/teen when it happened. But, that should be incompatible with his appearance in the MV. Unless–

Option D: Ellie became this way… after he was “dead”?

Wait, what? No, wait, I thought I had already determined that Ellie was dead! What do you mean it might ACTUALLY MAKE MORE SENSE IF HE WAS ALIVE??? WHAT HAS THIS MV COME TO?! AAAAAAAAAA–

Well. If this version of Ellie is what he “became” after he faked his death (or had it faked for him), certain elements start to line up. There is no conflict with the Cuevas family, because Ellie’s personality could have been completely different than what we see in Yoidoreshirazu. Similarly, we don’t have to solve why Charles would have built such a bond with this guy because this guy may not have existed when he was interacting with Charles. The brothers growing up in a household together would make it considerably easier for them both to encounter a mean dog at the same time. And, if Ellie didn’t have to reach this 20+ age before he disappeared from Charles’ life, the whole story could have been set much earlier, such that Ellie could have been fending the dog off when he was more of a kid or teen himself. Then, being separated from his family and presumed dead is what caused Ellie to lose his faith in life, take up his smoking habit, and hardly be able to sleep or smile.

This could still involve him being forced to live on the streets, although I would then wonder why he didn’t ever try to get back in contact with his family. Maybe he did and they turned him away? But, if he was an admirable son, I see no reason why they would do that. Perhaps he had expressed a bit more discontentment with the Cuevas family prior, and decided that, given this opportunity, it was for the best to sever his ties with them? That seems like a pretty extreme decision to keep up with given the state that Ellie seems to have wound up in, and would call into question how much Ellie cared about Charles if he was so willing to leave him behind.

It would kind of make more sense to me if, in this scenario, an outside force was stopping Ellie from reuniting with his family– for instance, if XF-Ture Tech offered Ellie a deal like they did to Min (somewhat forcing his hand), which included that he could never contact his family again. That could certainly make Ellie more important to the plot moving forward, and explain part of why he even got this MV. But, what would XF-Ture Tech want to do with some kid who was just near-fatally mauled by a dog attack? An near-fatal attack that… he doesn’t even seem to have scars on his face, neck, or right hand from???

Option E: this is how ellie looks in heaven or hell or whatever i don’t freakin know

Some of you may have been screaming at me the entire time that Ellie’s design may not be “canon,” so to speak, and you know what? That’s valid. It could simply be a projection of what Ellie could have looked like if he’d ever grown to this point in age, or his appearance may have been modified to better match Gumi’s disheveled vibe in the original Yoidoreshirazu MV, and not reflect his true personality. Ellie and Gumi do have really similar poses, cigarettes and all.

However, it would seem a little odd to me to give the audience what’s basically an AU design of Ellie before we got the original version. That would lead to insanely wrong conclusions like what I just wrote above if true, which could potentially cause people to interpret future content incorrectly. That’s not good. Besides, the song was still chosen for Ellie, and the song carries the same sort of gritty, nightlife vibe that the Gumi design does. Could the lyrics of the song really fit Ellie so well that the entire energy of the song and appearance of the MV could be waived?

#5: What’s up with these lyrics?

Sigh. I hate to move on to the next talking point when I haven’t yet resolved what we were last discussing, but, to be honest, I don’t know if I can resolve why Ellie looks and acts like that with the information we currently have. I’m kind of banking on the lyrics swaying me in the right direction when it comes to that interpretation, but given that I’m probably going to have to reverse engineer a lot of the lyrics’ meaning, I don’t have high hopes.

Well, we’ve already seen how I think these lyrics would apply to Rose, so how do I think they would fit Ellie? More questions ahead, but please note that I may be taking certain lyrics more specifically than they’re meant to be interpreted. I don’t have much else to go off of, so for the sake of gaining pretty much any knowledge I kinda have to assume the lyrics are total slam dunks.

#6: What can we learn about Ellie’s personality?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard All of this bickering goes on til the dawn comes

Ellie wakes up and immediately begins to complain. Unless he’s bickering with himself, he isn’t alone, although that doesn’t necessarily mean he has friends. In the original song, I imagine this lyric to be more about passersby or the general state of the world, so it could be the same case for Ellie.

In Ellie’s case, it’s unclear exactly what being a “drunkard” means. It could just be the literal interpretation, where Ellie is an alcoholic. I wouldn’t know. Being a drunkard could also extend to being an addict in general— we can be pretty certain that Ellie is a smoker (unless see Option E above). It could also be that the “drunkard” part of the phrase is less important and it’s more just about being unaware. Although, that would require further interpretation for later lines like “getting drunk again and again,” and Drunkard is also half of the song’s title (“An Unaware Drunkard”). Still, Elliot could be enveloped in the same sort of general haze I described back when I gave this song to Rose. Or, he could literally just be a guy that likes to drink a lot. Either way, it gives off the impression of someone who spends more time centered in his own world than butting into others’ businesses.

The singing voices are uncountable And once one gets lost in them, they end up at your xx Hey, look at how pretty it is, the day dream rondo I hide a thousand and can only spit out ten

More introvert coding– he really doesn’t like being in large groups of people. Ellie keeps the same pretty neutral expression throughout all of these lines in the MV, which makes it kind of hard to discern exactly what these statements mean for him. Like, is “look how pretty it is” supposed to show how he’s easily distracted by dreams and frivolous things, or how he’s using positive things to distract those around him from how he “hides a thousand and can only spit out ten”? In either case, that latter line seems to imply that Ellie is dissatisfied with whatever he’s doing in life (or death?) right now– “can only spit out” makes me think that he feels he should be doing more.

Giving in, I’m living Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad

Ah, the infamous screenshot from the presumed dead man. This smirky face gives some definite context for the attitude of these lines. Ellie seems smug or proud that he’s living… because he’s beating the death allegations? Well, it could also be that he just enjoys living a life of sin (smoking and drinking), and/or enjoys defying the expectations of the Cuevas family in this way. There’s also a certain irony to saying “I’m living” while flaunting a cigarette in his hand. Ellie may also be someone who enjoys tempting fate and defying the odds.

Ellie’s facial expressions with these lines make me believe that he actually thinks that getting drunk again and again is pretty cool, and it’s not just a deflection from a tumultuous mind. Which, again, begs the question of whether the “drinking” is literal, or a metaphor for something else. With not much other information to go off of, I’m kind of assuming it’s both at the moment. Ellie (in this state) probably is someone who drinks and enjoys doing it, but also someone who doesn’t feel any guilt over ignoring– or forgetting– his problems.

#7: Did Ellie also forget about Charles?

There are a strange number of lines in this song that could imply that Ellie isn’t just being ignorant, he’s actually forgetting about something big. That something could be the memory of his younger brother, just like how Charles forgot the memory of his elder. Runs in the family, I guess?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard

Starting at the very first line, you could begin to view the lyrics through the lens of someone who lacked information about their past: “Elliot woke up somewhere random mostly forgetting who he was in a hazy state of being.” To be clear, I’m not saying that that’s the interpretation of the line, just an interpretation of the line. It’s an interpretation that builds further connections with later lyrics, though.

And then The sacred mountain is covered in mud, it’s smeared and chipping away, ah yes, it's not half bad

That's my muddy, obstructed, and broken vision of the future- It’s not half bad

These lines focus on something being damaged or broken. Ignoring the original song’s references to Mount Penglai, which are completely absent from this MV, I would interpret a character’s “sacred mountain” as their central motivation. The pursuit of this goal would be very important, or “sacred” to them, and just as majestic as it is difficult to traverse and achieve. That pairs well with Ellie losing his view of the future, as both indicate that he’s completely forgotten what his purpose in life is.

And yet, he insists that it’s not half bad. Why? The most likely reason is that, for whatever reasons made him look like this, Ellie has just adopted the same sort of fatalistic behavior as Gumi did in her MV. However, you also might not think that forgetting something was bad if you ever forgot that you forgot it. For the majority of his life, Charles hasn’t thought that forgetting Ellie was a terrible ordeal because he had no clue that Ellie even existed. For Ellie, it could be frightening to know that you’ve forgotten a lot of who you are, but also freeing. That dichotomy could be what resulted in his current pensive yet playful behavior.

Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it's not half bad I'm a drunkard unaware of my rival in love, so

I'm a drunkard unaware of the story

These lines are ones that really made me think that Ellie could have forgotten Charles in particular. I’m really not sure what “rival in love” was supposed to mean in the original song, but for Ellie, that rival being his brother makes sense. He doesn’t have a lover, as far as we’re aware, but he may have had to fight against Charles for his parents’ affections in the past. Many siblings have a competitive relationship with one another, so Charles could also be described as a rival who Ellie loves. Charles is an easy stand-in for “the story” as well, as long as we assume that the main plot of the killing game is considered “the story.” Charles is a major player in the killing game who’s already been going on a major story arc of his own, and, being Ellie’s little brother, it would make sense if Ellie’s priorities in the story were Charles-focused were he aware of the killing game.

What would it mean if Ellie had forgotten Charles, though? It seems most likely to me that, if both brothers came to forget one another, the trauma would have stemmed from the same event. But, if Charles forgot about Ellie because of that dog attack, Ellie could have only had time to forget who Charles was if he survived for long enough after the attack to have that revelation. Also, don’t know how important this is, but if the attack gave Charles childhood amnesia, would it have had the same effect on a 20+ year old man? I don’t know enough about amnesia to know if the same circumstances that would cause a child to discard their memories would also result in an adult forgetting about aspects of their life. Then again, Ellie almost certainly suffered greater damage than Charles, so any aftereffects may have been more severe.

I obviously can’t declare with 100% certainty that Ellie forgot who Charles was, nor can I even get particularly close. Still, these strange threads seemed to be too prominent to ignore, and this was the best solution I could find to them with the information we know now.

#8: Who is “you”?

Twice in Yoidoreshirazu’s lyrics does the singer reference a character as “you.”

Neglecting my happiness, I never want to sober up until it's time to listen to your voice I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my body is dyed

Please don't let this fleeting happiness go away, until I can lend an ear by your side I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say and my heart is dyed

This person is quite important to the singer, as the singer craves their voice and succumbs to their person, their body and soul colored by the experience. And yet, there’s a sense of isolation, as “you” refuses to say anything back to the singer. It’s a classic tale of immense devotion met with quiet rejection for Ellie to partake in with… someone. I don’t know who.

For what it’s worth, I do think the lyrics imply that this is another human person as opposed to, say alcohol. While alcohol can certainly have a profound impact on a person, causing their happiness to come and go and changing aspects of their physicality, “you” is referred to with enough human traits that it doesn’t match up. Maybe anthropomorphized alcohol could have a voice, but when has it ever needed you to listen to it? To my knowledge, lending an ear to the bottle itself is pretty unheard of.

So, is “you” Charles? That makes some sense, as Charles is the only relevant character to Ellie’s story that we know much about. Based on what we’ve already established about Ellie and Charles’ probable bond, Ellie could definitely fit the devoted older brother character in one flavor or another. But then, why would Charles have rejected him? Could be the whole childhood amnesia thing, but then Ellie would have had to exist during a period of time when Charles had already developed the amnesia and also remember who Charles was enough himself to care. Charles could have also just not liked him much, but that contradicts with the evidence presented back at Question 3.

Honestly, I don’t think Charles is “you,” despite my lack of other options. Perhaps “we” can figure this out?

worn out, we all look horrible until all thousand voices become hoarse

Yeah, there’s also a “we” in Yoidoreshirazu, which furthers the idea that, wherever he is/was, Ellie isn’t alone. The lyrics make it unclear whether the “we” is the singer + you (and maybe others), or just the singer + others– I’d probably lean that it probably wasn’t meant to include “you” in the original, but who knows how DRDTdev chose to interpret the song. Still, as alcohol isn’t normally described as “looking horrible,” this further implies that there are other human characters referenced in Ellie’s MV. In the case of “we,” Ellie also has to associate with these people enough to include himself as part of them. He’s in a group. Why? How? When?

#9: What differences are there between this MV and the original?

This one goes out to all the people who thought to go back and check the original Literature Girl Insane MV for differences while we were dealing with that whole project! It inspired me to try the same thing here, and see what happened.

Yoidoreshirazu is a much easier task than LGI, though, because it’s a simpler song and MV on all fronts. Both MVs only portray one character, one location, and one color for the lyrics to be transcribed in. (There’s also only, like, a max of twelve words on screen at a time, unlike David’s mental library.) For the most part, the two Yoidoreshirazus are very similar. None of the lyrics were edited from Magenetra’s translation on the vocaloid lyrics wiki, the lights turn on and off at the same times, and the DRDT version doesn’t appear to include any additional puzzles or easter eggs. Still, they aren’t exactly the same, so I’ll write out the differences I found playing them side by side for both my own and others’ purposes.

Gumi is on screen at the start, then quickly disappears and comes back, while it takes Ellie until the lyrics start to appear.

Not much extra to explain on this point. It may indicate that Ellie was missing or absent for a longer period of time, or at least that he’s more mysterious/quiet than Yoidoreshirazu’s Gumi.

Gumi has her tongue out a lot more at the beginning of the song.

Before Ellie takes off his hood (so, basically for the first half of the song), he only sticks his tongue out for one part of the song, from 0:52 (“getting drunk again and again”) to 0:59 (“my rival in love”). Meanwhile, Gumi has her tongue out from the moment the lyrics start (0:09, “I woke up as an unaware drunkard”) to the end of the first stanza (0:25, “all thousand voices become hoarse”), and then does it again from 0:43 to 0:59, the entirety of the first chorus (“the sacred mountain” to “rival in love”). This gives Gumi the appearance of being more rebellious, while Ellie is more moody.

Gumi smiles a lot more than Ellie.

When Gumi returns from the first chorus (1:00), she’s already smiling. While she shifts from a satisfied smirk to a smug grin to an enraptured beam to a content smile, she doesn’t actually stop smiling from the minute mark on until the vocals stop (2:10). Meanwhile, Ellie doesn’t smile at all until 1:50, and drops the playful tongue-out expression after a mere six seconds. The only lines that Ellie smiles for are “I’m living / Getting drunk again and again– Ah, it’s not half bad,” which is quite interesting. The overall result is the same as the bullet point above; that Gumi is at least better at pretending to be happy while Ellie is lost in his sorrows.

Ellie and Gumi’s expressions are pretty different in general.

Here are all of Ellie’s expressions versus all of Gumi’s expressions. In the end, Gumi actually had more expressions, which I wasn’t expecting. Some of their faces are mirrors to each other, while others are different.

Both Ellie and Gumi have a serious eyes closed face, a bored/neutral face, a bored tongue-out face, a scary face with big eyes, and a sleazy grin. The only unique faces Ellie has on top of those are the more playful tongue-out smile (present only when his hood is off) and the contemplative downward gaze. Gumi has a knowing smile, a hopeful smile, and a content smile. With those differences, we conclude that, on the whole, Gumi seems to have a bit more hope in the world, while Ellie is downcast. I’m sure you couldn’t have guessed that by the results of the last two points (/s).

Ellie has a costume change.

Not hard to notice; Ellie takes his hood off mid-MV while Gumi keeps her outfit the same.

There’s a part of the song where Ellie disappears while Gumi is present.

If anything in this question is going to be important, it’s probably this tidbit. At 1:39 in DRDT Yoidoreshirazu and 1:37 in original Yoidoreshirazu, the line “and my heart is dyed” plays. At this point in the MV, Gumi is present on screen, but Ellie is not. Gumi then disappears alongside Ellie for the following “sore wa” before both reappear for the chorus, but the difference is still notable. Something about the line “and my heart is dyed” caused DRDTdev to remove Ellie from the MV when he otherwise should have been there. This could mean that Ellie’s absence is what caused his heart to be dyed, that Ellie was actually absent when the heart dying occurred, or something else. Regardless, the difference in visuals– especially one that leaves the lyrics as the only thing on screen for you to look at– means that “and my heart is dyed” is likely the most important lyric of the song for Ellie.

Ellie is doing a whole lot more in the final chorus.

This is probably why I thought that Ellie had more sprites than Gumi did, other than the whole two outfits thing. Throughout the entire second chorus, Gumi only uses one face, the smile with big eyes. Meanwhile, Ellie rotates through four different faces before returning to the one he started with; scary stare -> neutral -> eyes closed -> grin -> tongue-out smile -> scary stare. It gives Ellie a whole lot more character than Gumi had in that final portion. Granted, the inverse is also true: Ellie switched faces less frequently than Gumi at the beginning of the song. It leads me to believe that the lyrics at the end of the song may be more important to Ellie than the lyrics of the start, as the end is featured as the most memorable portion.

#10: So, um… What did we learn, exactly?

Honestly… I don’t know. Unlike the Chapter 2 murder, which is intended to be basically solvable, or even the characters’ secrets, which have had much revealed with minimal possible permutations, so little has been confirmed about Ellie that it makes it near impossible to settle on one answer as absolute truth. I can write out my current best theory about what may be going on with Ellie, but it’s honestly so implausible that I don’t really think it’s going to be canon myself.

If we prioritize the information given to us in this music video and the Q&As and disregard the effects that our conclusion might have on the story of DRDT as a whole, then I think the most likely option was actually Option D, Ellie became this way after he died. I think that Ellie was a bright young man– maybe not perfect, but still an older brother that Charles could look up to. Ellie and Charles were really close when Charles was a little kid, and they loved to hang out and eat pancakes together.

One day– maybe when Charles was about 4 and Ellie was about 16?– Ellie saw a dog on the side of the road and, loving dogs, brought his baby brother over to say hi to it. Unfortunately, the dog was feral and mean, and it bit Charles on the arm, injuring him greatly. Defending Charles, Ellie attacked the dog and told Charles to run away for safety. Charles made it back to his parents, bleeding and horribly traumatized, while Ellie did not. Ellie never came back home, so his parents had no choice but to assume he was dead. They chose to conceal the existence of their elder son from their younger, whether to avoid triggering Charles’ phobias or because they too wished him erased from the history books.

However, even though the world believed that Ellie had died, he actually survived! Though, not in one piece. He was probably severely wounded (perhaps leaving behind scars on any part of his body that wasn’t shown in the MV), and, just like his brother, suffered amnesia that caused him to forget who he was. From there, it depends on how he would have survived the dog attack.

If he barely emerged victorious from the battle due to his own power, then, with no memories, he was forced to live on the street. He gained his washed-up attitude from experiencing life’s hardships while being right on the cusp of remembering something more.

If he received aid from and then was indebted to a group like XF-Ture Tech, he may have been given some kind of help, but not without a cost. He probably started working for them in some capacity, even if he wasn’t a fan of his work/coworkers, and gained his washed-up attitude from years of nihilistically supporting the shady company.

The MV takes place in a time close to present day, when Ellie is reflecting on the state of his life and what he does remember. He hates the people he’s surrounded by, and can only lean on his bad habits (substance abuse and/or appearing more uncaring/airheaded than he actually is) to get by. He knows that he’s a shell of a person with no memories of his past or aspirations for his future, but there isn’t really anything he can do about it, right…? The vague memories of a “rival in love” and a main “story” are the only things giving him a taunting yet unerasable hope.

Woohoo, drama. But, like, that’s ridiculous, right? The secret literally said that Ellie was dead! How the hell could he still be alive? Did the mastermind’s source– whatever it was– just have the facts wrong, or are they actually lying? Wouldn’t the Cuevas family have looked harder for the body? Does amnesia even work like that? Does XF-Ture Tech even work like that???

Needless to say, I am still quite confused. The answer above is still the answer that makes the most sense to me, but it also has its own obvious flaws. I feel like I must just be straight up wrong about the identity of the Cuevas family, the method of Ellie’s death, the age at which Ellie appears in this MV, or something like that, but I don’t know what it would be. Even more than usual, I’d love to hear everyone else’s thoughts on this mysterious character. I feel like more analysis of the guy is going to come out soon, so hopefully some of the more numerical data like trying to pin down Ellie’s age or noticing the differences in the two MVs will help someone else make a breakthrough. Still, I encourage you to come forth with anything you have to say, because I want to hear it.

Thus concludes your instructional pamphlet on how to write an essay on a music video at a rate of 54 words per second of the music video. Thanks for reading!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #elliot cuevas #charles cuevas #fanganronpa #yoidoreshirazu mv #i “finished” the analysis hooray #wish i had a conclusion for it #this was a very different theory to write than usual but that did make it fun #i feel like i totally lost my mind in there somewhere though so hopefully i don't come out looking like too much of a clown #the heart is dyed thing dude... what does it mean...#also glad people are listening to yoidoreshirazu in this house we stan kanaria #my theories

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technologyculturedneo · 6 months

Text

Censored: Fact Check. Lee Taeyong

"I trusted you, and you couldn't even protect me."

Pairing: mafia!Taeyong X reporter!Reader

Synopsis: Life takes a sharp turn into the wrong corner when you realise that the man you’ve been with for 3 years has lied to you about who he really is.

Genre. Angst. Mafia and gangs. Dark romance.

Warnings. Angst. Blood scenes. Killings.

News:

"Criminal activities continue to manifest in Kwangya City. With cases and reports being filled day, night and regularly by the hour, as drug exporters, mob executioners and many more corrupt the streets. Legal advisors of Kwangya inform and advice fellow citizens to keep off the streets and stay indoors. However that has proved to be impossible because we are a function city fully based on people working manual and physical jobs.” You read the script stationed on the screen before you turn to your co-host. “This is insanity. Renjun can you believe the chaos going on?"

“It’s absolutely devastating to face this period blindly and not knowing what could happen to any of us. By the hour we've been hearing that citizens are getting kidnapped, houses are being raided, people, and to think that it's happening to different types of people. We could even be victims.” Renjun shakes his head in disbelief turning his gaze off the camera to glance at at his co-worker, you, in the eye. "According to reports made by various sources, the people of Kwangya should be extremely careful or they might be victims in uncalled-for events. That's what it is, uncalled-for and dangerous acts. But what I'm curious about is that Neo City and Kwangya City are close by the border, do you think that perhaps the mob bosses, dealer kings and corroborated mafia leaders of The Neo City are behind this whole scene?"

"I'll have to say Renjun, there seems to be a link between the crimes and patterns that the officers have picked up on, and with closer examinations I can say confidently that I'm sure this is planned by the Neo City corroborated Mafia Leaders. The pattern being the letter 'N' being carved in cites that have been raided. But then again I could be wrong," You turn to the camera. "After the break we'll report live from Kwangya streets to hear what locals and shop owners have to say about the disturbance of the neighboring city. It is now 19:30 and you're watching Channel 5 news."

A man dressed in all black walks inside an electronics store purchasing a burner phone. He walks out the store and drags his cigarette watching the news report outside another television appliances store puffing out air. He fishes for his phone puffing out the air that was from the bud, using an untraceable sim he requests a call on the new purchased phone. The phone instantly connects. "Peaches," He speaks with encryption to 'peaches'.

"Octopus," Peaches answers with confirmation at the same time speaks with encryption to 'octopus'. "Do you have eyes on the girl?"

"Vague eyes on the girl," the man 'octopus' responds. "But I've got clear eyes on the location."

"Name of girl?"

"Y/n."

The receiver notes down. "Do not engage with the girl, wait for further orders."

The man cuts the call removing the sim from the phone returning it to the store swapping it for a different phone. He moves outside towards the tv store continuing to watch from the outside seeing the news channel is back. He keeps his gaze on the female speaker also known as Y/n.

A few minutes later you and your coworker announce your departure and end the news reports. His phone buzzes in his pocket causing him to immediately check it. Signalling that he should be on the move.

There's so much chaos in the city, so much involuntary movements are being done, yet on your end you commit the biggest crime by walking during late hours. It's high time you get a car, because you might not know if you're next. It's a serious situation and you of all people (who report the facts) know that the night city is not a time you should be lingering outside.

But being on guard, the moment you're dropped off by your bus, you quickly make your way home. Walking through your residential area, you get side tracked by the twinkling of the stars and how bright they look tonight. Back then looking at the stars was peaceful, but now looking at the stars while being unattentive to your surroundings only brings trouble.

You can't stop looking to them but it's until you turn a corner and walk straight on the avenue of your house, you notice that there's a person on the sidewalk leaning against a lamp post.

What's weird is that he's got his eyes on you.

You look away from him ignoring the feeling in you that you've seen him before...but you can't pin point where.

•

"The weirdest thing happened tonight babe," You rinse your mouth thoroughly before leaving your toothbrush in its case. Walking back into your joined room whereby your boyfriend, Taeyong, is casually on the bed flipping through the channels, you smile while removing your pajama pants being left in your sexy underwear while wearing his baggy shirt.

"What happened?" He sits up leaning on his elbow. "On a side note, what do you wanna do tonight?"

"I don't know," you shrug your shoulders laying down on the bed next to him. "You're the one who came suddenly and uninvited, what do you wanna do?"

He lets out a dry chuckle. "I can't come and see my girlfriend anymore without getting formal permission? Noted." He tries to get a kiss but you ignore him, laughing slightly. "I missed you, though. Couldn't control my urge tonight. After all the effort to see you and nearly getting killed by my boss, I don't even get a kiss? Ouch," He gets playfully sulky.

You grin hiding your face behind a pillow looking at him. "On second thought, I wanna kiss you. Can I do that?"

He pulls the pillow down leaning his face closer. "Do what you want with me babe. Tonight I'm all yours?"

"I just..." You smile looking at him in awe. "I missed you so much,"

"I missed you too," He returns the smile. "I couldn't wait to see you tonight. And it's not just because I think we might make out, but seriously I missed you. Lately, I've been wondering about a lot of things. And you mostly came up in my mind. We've been together for almost 3 years but I can't shake this feeling inside of me. You're my forever,"

Your lips quirk upwards holding onto his shoulders, you get closer to his face and plant a kiss on his lips. "I love you Tae,"

"I love you more then you'll ever know, babe," Taeyong grins pulling you in for another kiss. You lay there holding him as he strokes your hair while he continues kissing you. He pulls away from the kiss only slightly leaving it open and kisses along your jaw line slowly trailing down to your neck. He sucks on your collarbone eliciting a moan from your throat.

He looks up at you, eyes filled with lust and you lean back giving him better access to your neck. Your fingers thread through his hair massaging into his scalp. He pulls away from your neck and places butterfly kisses all along the column of your neck, you shudder and squirm under him as his tongue licks the underside of your ear. "I've been thinking." He says in between kisses.

"What?" Your mind fuzzy with his intoxicating lips of pleasure.

"We should get out of here. Go to another city, or country, start new," He lips merge again with yours and he leans on the bed looking at you. "What do you say?"

"You wanna leave Kwangya?"

"It's bloody murderous now days," Taeyong states. "These days people are running for their lives, and I just don't want to lose you by accident. Anything can happen, and I don't want that to happen to you. I work at Neo City, so I'm not always here to protect you, but I want us to leave. We can find another place to stay, keep a low profile, what do you say? "

You giggle lightly while wrapping your arms around his neck. "As much as I wanna leave this damn city, I can't leave my dad just yet." You mummer. "I know he's my adoptive dad and I shouldn't care, like the way you've been telling me not to care...but this man has done so much for me. He's my dad Ty, and I have to make sure he's safe."

Taeyong looks in between your eyes and sighs softly. "Then how about we move with him?"

"Move with him?" You arch your eyebrow and shake your head finding his plea a joke. You lean in close to get back into kissing him but then recognition dawns upon you. "That's who he looks like!"

You sit up straight on the bed, stretching your body towards the opposite side of your nightstand taking your phone and gliding through some pictures.

"Uhm? Kiss babe? What happened?" Taeyong pouts when you turn your head towards him. "And what are you talking about?"

"That's what I actually wanted to talk to you about," You answer him, recalling the incident that happened. Crossing your legs and holding up your phone to his view you urge him to take it. "Keeping sliding left,"

"A few weeks ago there was a man who entered the company wanting to see the boss, aka my dad. He didn't take it too well that my dad wasn't available and began causing a ruckus. Security had him pinned and began dragging him out, but he kept coming once in a while still looking for the boss. The weird thing is, I saw him again. I don't know... but he kept looking at me. Is it strange?"

Taeyong says nothing looking intensely at your phone at the picture of the man who kept bursting at the place. He grumbles lowly as a dangerous bass leaves his mouth. "Shit."

"Babe?" You tilt your head to the side seeing his serious expression. "Are you okay?"

His eyes look up intensely and furiously that your heart shivers causing you to gently lay a hand on his knee. That seems to snap him out of the raging face before he looks normal...well anxious again. "I'm sorry, what? I didn't hear you,"

"You look frightening. Do you know him or something? What's wrong? Are you okay?" You ask again rubbing hand on his knees as he also sits up crossing his legs, visibly looking annoyed.

"I don't like how close you were. Did he do anything to you?" He asks raising his brow.

"No," You shake your head. "He didn't do any anything to me on that day, but today-"

"You saw him again?" His voice gets louder.

"Yeah, I was walking home and I noticed him staring at me. Maybe it was absentmindedly but it didn't look like that,"

"They know where you live. Shit."

Taeyong hurriedly gets up from the bed going over to curtains pulling them apart, before you can even have time to digest his sudden change of behavior and attitude. You get up on your knees wanting to ask who knows where you live, yet a bizarre sight freezes you in place. The view instantly consumes you with its bright flashing lights and a loud car engine roars drastically screeching and getting closer and closer to your bedroom balcony. Your mind is slow to process- however when Taeyong leaps out of the way vigorously gripping your wrist and pulling your shocked body- you have no choice but to support yourself and regain balance to try and run already hearing the walls of your bedroom bricking down- crashing down. You scream gripping Taeyong with your other hand, but he's quick in lifting you up in one swift move placing you onto his back - you rapidly straddle him from the back holding onto his neck due to the fast pace he's running at.

"Hold on tight!" He yells before his legs swing over the wooden fence around your house. His hole body bucks when he's running and have to hold yourself severely because you feel like with all his sharp movements you could fall off. He's running so fast and sharply.

But it's not long before the angry tires screeches and demolition of your house is in progress. Peeking back there's only heavy clouds of dust all around your tarnished house and rapid angry rolling tires still trudging towards you guys.

"Babe what's happening!?" You yelp now hearing bullet sounds of gunshots shooting up from behind. Taeyong's feet move rapidly that you begin to bounce up and down at every street jump he makes. You hold him tighter closing your eyes. "I'm scared! I'm scared!"

"Fuck." You hear Taeyong curse lowly.

You look back in the dark night no longer seeing the car but running figures. Two! "They're running Taey!" You tell him but the warning is short lived when Taeyong accidentally falls down a short ledge throwing you off guard and off his shoulders

"Taey!" Your back hits the floor hard when a sharp shot hits his leg making him roll down the short cliff leading to the park down below.

"T-Taeyong!" Your bare less feet regain composer and you get off the ground running towards the edge- you're about to go down but your hair spikes as someone pulls you backwards from behind. "OW!"

Your eyes widen as you turn back to the man that just pulled your hair- it's him. It's that man!

"Please?!" You scream out loud when he presses the cold barrel of the gun on the side of your temple.

He pulls down his mask revealing a blunt smirk. "So you're the bitch that has him falling like a pussy,"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Please let me go."

"In that case, you should've let me see your boss that day." He comments. "Because now, you've just made shit difficult."

"I'm sorr-"

Strike!

The last thing you remember before your eyes lost conscious was his enormous fist colliding with your face. Maybe you're still hazy from the hit or maybe it's you're mind playing games with you, however you almost swear that you feel your body being thrown in the back of the car while hearing your name being called. Called by Taeyong.

He's screaming- yelling your name. Your head feels too heavy to lift up, but when you do the car's already driving away with a drenched Taeyong chasing after.

"Taey? Taeyong. Taeyong!" Your body snaps up banging the window and pulling the trigger of the door to open, but it's locked.

"Make her shut up Yuta."

Your wandering eyes search the dark car but just like that- another jaw breaking punch sets you falling backwards in your seat losing touch of your senses and what's happening around you.

•

"Rise and shine sweetheart. Your day has just begun."

Your ears manage to catch the muffled voices verifying them into words that you can actually understand. A sharp pain makes itself known the moment that your eyes snap open. You're laying flat on the stone cold floor feeling pain on your face. Your throat is horses as you try to make a sound. It doesn't work especially when you feel your hair pulled back forcing you to sit up as you hold onto the hand that harshly grips your hair. A loud yelp as well as tears emerge instantly reminding you of the distortion of last night.

The darkness in the room makes itself known but you try to adjust your eyes to the man infront of you. The man doesn't give you much of a chance as he yanks your hair laughing in your face. "Oh wow! Did I do that? Jaehyun look at this, I'm almost as good as you,"

Your throat is parched and you have a massive headache. You try to speak but your lip is split making it hard and you feel your jaw has intense pain. Instead you look into his eyes only seeing dots of black spots and blurry sights.

"Taeyong has taste. She's hot."

"Looks like one of his whores." the other standing figure states moving closer.

Your mind wonders to what's going on but it's hard to piece the pieces when your head throbs hard and all you can think about is nothing but the pain. He lets your hair go and like a pin dropping your whole face and front slam back to the floor weakly. "Ah,"

You let out a small cry making the other standing guy grabbing your neck forcing you up and yanking you. Your voice weakens and you hold in your cry as fear raises in you. He says nothing only glaring at you and you hiccup breathing unevenly feeling your lips quivering. He grips tighter evoking a new wave of panic. He doesn't even need to say anything, his eyes say it all. If you make another sound you won't like the outcome.

He drops you to the floor and having no balance or support, your body tramples weakly on the ground. You close your eyes forcing the tears to stay in, wishing and praying for Taeyong to save you. You don't know what has happened over the course of the previous hours. All you know is that Taeyong seemed to know before hand what was happening. What even is happening? You're proven right when a third party enters the room shortly....it's not even a room. The more you like the wider the grey space looks. It's large too, with only small square windows at the top. It's looks like only a giant can reach up there and no normal human being.

"Guys, he's here. He's really here." The new guy who enters marvels in a cocky manner. "I thought he would've taken longer."

"How could he take long? When the last thing he saw was his bitch in Jaehyun's arms." Another dark chuckle from his end. "She's a fine piece, there's no way he could take long to get back to here, so of course he'd come by in a blink of an eye."

"Where is he now?" The other guy asks.

"With the boss."

"You finally remembered us," Johnny smirks when Taeyong bursts into his office looking furious as hell. The entire night he spent running on foot to get to the Gates of Hell, also known as the headquarters of The Neo City Mafia Leaders. From where you live all the way to Neo city takes at least 3 hours while driving, but by foot it takes longer, so seeing Taeyong in his office panting and sweating, Johnny can just feel how much taking you hostage means to Taeyong.

"Where is she?" Taeyong asks fisting his fist and glaring at Johnny.

Johnny throws a picture on the table causing Taeyong to pick it up. It's a picture of himself and you, kissing. "Yuta took this picture moments before they crushed into her house. You look too relaxed don't you think?"

"But before we get to her, let's talk business." Johnny gets up from his desk and tilts his head at Taeyong. "2 missions have passed. Where did you hide off to?"

Taeyong refrains from rolling his eyes. "I was at home."

"You mean at that bitch's house."

Taeyong wants to curse Johnny for calling you however he wanted to call you, but he can't because Johnny is still his boss and the Leader of the Neo City Mafia Leaders. So he simply clutches his fist stronger and turns a deaf ear to any insults regarding you.

"You're disappearance has not been sitting well with me. Not only did you miss two missions but you've neglected your duties as vice." Johnny states. "You can imagine how pleased I was to have finally found your little bitch. I sent Yuta and Jaehyun to get her. But word tells me that you were actually at that little bitch's house, proven by that photo."

"She has nothing to do with this Johnny. She's innocent-"

"In my book she's already committed a crime. If she can make you neglect two missions, then there's something wrong with her." He smirks. "She has to pay."

"Please-"

"For hell's sake she's even making you say shit like that. 'Please?' did you really just say that?" Johnny fixes the buttons around his wrist. He picks up the remote on the table switching on the tv to a basement that's very familiar to Taeyong. It's the torture chamber. Inside the spacious grey room he sees you on the floor in the baggy shirt he came over with and your black laced underwear, on one side Yuta stands there tilting his head from side to side with his hands buried in his back pockets and near the door leaning on the wall is Jaehyun who's got his eye on you.

Johnny presses a buzzer and speaks into it. "Begin."

Taeyong's heart escalates when he finally realizes what you're doing there. You're going to be tortured. "No. Please don't." He steps closer to the screen watching Yuta smirk at the camera before picking up your shirt and using his backhand to beat the side of your face. "No! Don't, don't don't do this!"

You yell in distress by the sudden impact trying to back away but get forced forward and are beaten left to right. Taeyong with bloodshot red teary eyes watches Yuta have his way with you. "That was for missing two missions. And the next one. This is for disrespecting your oath and word towards me. Jaehyun you may,"

Jaehyun steps forward after Johnny's command and Taeyong has his eyes widen when Jaehyun wastes no time in slamming a hard right hook on your face. You fall back and crawl backwards yelling covering up your face but it's no use as Jaehyun follows you and continues to deliver rough hits to your face. Taeyong grips his hair turning sharply to Johnny pointing towards the screen. "Stop this! She doesn't deserve- she's innocent. It's me you want! I'm here!" Taeyong yells trying to drown out your ear piercing wails that get louder and louder. The thought of your fragile body, your soft skin being beaten up makes his stomach wrench with anger. It's worse since he knows that Jaehyun will only stop if Johnny tells him to. "I'm begging you, please stop this."

Yuta from the side knows very well that Jaehyun plays no games when it came to hitting and teaching someone a lesson. So he's not surprised that after 5 minuets of continuously punching and hitting hard on the girl, Taeyong's girl, your wails become low and your face gets bloodier concealing your beauty. Jaehyun grabs a hold of your hair pulling you up and he looks at your bloodied face with your eyes closing out of conscious. You await the heavy knockout already closing your eyes tight being tired of fighting. Feeling nothing but cold air blowing past you, your eyes weakly open noticing that Jaehyun's fist is centimeters away from your face.

Your eyes having difficulty moving - straining when you try to look at Yuta who's talking but you can't hear a thing. You're dropped on the floor and your eyes instantly shut- too painful to cry, too painful to move you lay on the ground breathing and choking on your own dry blood. With your ears being impaired you only hear ringing and even if you did want to hear something, you couldn't bring your energy or hear all to listen to what the two men that beat you up had to say. The only thing you can think about is the pain.

"She's fucking innocent Johnny! Have you no heart, that's my- my-" Taeyong feels his eyes aching and stinging by the sight of the monitor screen with Jaehyun and Yuta who wipe the blood off their hands and throw it at your face. On his knees his heart quenches seeing your figure shaking but unmoving. Jaehyun would need to pay for what he did to you. "You're a devil, have you no mercy?"

Johnny laughs like the cold heartless monster he is and Taeyong takes his eyes off of your image. Johnny raises a brow seeing the look on his face. "The devil I am indeed and you're supposed to be my spawn. My deadliest spawn, but look at you. You're on your knees, begging and shedding tears. If you value her that much, maybe I should just take her away."

Taeyong slams his fist on the table glaring his eyes at Johnny. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want Taeyong," Johnny smirks. "I'm glad I found the thing that's been hindering you. I don't want to threaten you because you know all that's at stake, all I'll say is that I've picked you up from nothing. You owe your life to me. You've had nothing and if it takes me removing her from the picture for you to focus, you know I'll remove her. So the ball is in your court. Anytime you divert, mislead or even stray away the mission one bit, I won't hesitate to kill her. And you know I will."

Taeyong breathes in heavily straightening his back and closing his eyes. He simply travelled to Kwangya to spend time with you and to escape from his reality for a while. He didn't intend for you to be taken, to be kidnapped all the way to Neo City where crime was at it's peak. So frustrated he pinches his teeth together trying not to get enraged. He didn't even sleep, he didn't even bath as his main priority was getting you back safe. Now that he's here, he knows it'll be a long time until you're going to be safe. "Why Jaehyun and Yuta?"

"You know why I picked Jaehyun." Johnny smirks as if the answer is clear. "I'm proud to have raised you and Jaehyun in my own house. You guys are my two deadliest pawns. With Jaehyun in place you'll do whatever I say for the sake of that girlfriend of yours. While I can count on Jaehyun to give her one blow once in a while, you can count on Yuta to feed her, keep her well." Johnny laughs to himself. "We both know that he won't take good care of her, so bring me what I want and I let her go. Come to think of it, does she even know who you are?"

"What do you want?" Taeyong fumes out still with eyes closed.

"Kwangya at my feet." Johnny moves back to his seat finishing business and closing the deal. "Qian Kun's head. As well as his son Chenle, but he should be alive, he's got information worth fortune. You may leave."

Taeyong drags his hand off the table burning with fire in him.

"Oh and Taeyong." Taeyong stops, refusing to turn back and make eye contact with his boss. "You know what will happen if you try and check on her? One move towards her cell and it'll probably be the last time you see her breathing."

With that Taeyong leaves the room panting and breathing heavily trying not to lose control. Inside the large mansion, criminals rest and roam around so when they see their leader Taeyong walking towards his room with hast and anger they know it's time to bring out their stern faces and full game. Taeyong bangs his door immediately going to shower removing his clothes punching the wall as hard as he can with his fist. "Ahhh! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

He needs to get her out. He needs to get you out of here. You can't stay here. Not in this house, not in this mansion full of dangerous guys. Especially not in that room with the dangerous of them all after himself. And to think, that he's the most dangerous but yet so soft around you. He needs to get you out.

And in order to do that, he'll need to work as fast as he can. Turning on the shower he tries to focus on his target, but getting the bloodied image of her face out of his head is a challenge. He should've never came to visit her. Now he's gotten her in trouble that she doesn't deserve. "Hold on baby." He whispers as the water pours on him. "Hold on."

"We get in and get out." Taeyong speaks to the sets of groups listening to him. "Take out as many bodyguards as you can and then leave Kun's door unattended. It's take over day today, they'll know we're coming. So take out the lights, cut out the power, kill anyone who stands in your way, but leave Kun to me. Under no circumstances are you allowed to kill him- that's my job. Got it. Let's move."

•

"We're gonna ask you some questions." Yuta announces entering the basement room with Jaehyun following behind him.

It's been hours and you still haven't moved from your last position. Lifeless on the floor while fading in and out of conscious. Your throat and lips are dry while your eyes are both swollen. Not having cleaned up, crusts of your dried blood remain on parts of your face. You blink a tear away when spotting vague figures standing in front of you. Slowly, your head shifts to the side and you strain your eyes open using the little weight you have to back away. Not having heard what either of them say, you try with all your might to get away but you stop- only having moved an inch due to all the body shock and fatigue, as well as how heavy you feel dragging your body.

"Please..." Dryly you let out weakly putting your hand to cover your face.

"Damn." Yuta laughs. "She's actually holding up better. Not like Ryu and the other girls."

"Ryu died on spot after the third day, why compare her?"

Yuta scoffs as if the answer is obvious. "Because she's not dead yet. Meaning she can give us the answers we need. Alright, girly can you hear us?"

Yuta snaps his fingers near your ear and you slightly flinch, but you can't hear a thing he's saying. You mummer and try backing up begging with your dry cracked lips. "Please..."

"We wanna know about Taeyong." Yuta states his subject. "You give us much information, you eat. You give us little, you don't eat. Deal?"

Your ears feel like they're stuffed with cotton as you can hear his muffled words but you can't decipher what they mean. You can only cower and tremble while moving back- hoping and praying that they won't hurt you again. To your slight movement and response, Yuta thinks you're agreeing with. So you can just imagine your shock, when he speaks some more and you don't respond only seeing through your blurry eyes how his arm lifts up and the next thing you experience is a tremendous blow knocking your head in the opposite direction as you blurt out a cry-before quickly shutting your mouth holding in your voice- afraid you'll get beaten again.

You can only moan in pain as you let out tiny muffled out cries. You're scared for your dear life, and it doesn't help how your whole body is aching in pain, you feel that they are broken ribs here and there, and that your jaw is dislocated and that your ears are deaf just as your vision is foggy- but you can't even do anything with your trembling body but let out cries of sorrow.

Their muffled speeches continue again- but you can't be bothered to try and guess what they're saying because you feel another rock hard kick against your abdomen.

Jaehyun grabs Yuta's collar back while watching as blood splits out of your mouth as you cry and beg earnestly, imploring a single bloodshot word: "Please..."

"She can't hear you." Jaehyun notes, while directing his eyes to your ear which is bloody and red and oozing out lines of blood. "Which renders her useless. Just like Ryu."

Yuta growls in annoyance when noting the blood from your ears.

"Give her food."

Yuta pushes Jaehyun's hand away from you. "No. We made a deal. The less she gives, no food." Yuta walks away from Jaehyun, who only looks at your unlucky figure.

He kneels down close to you, spreading his finger through your hair. You're whimpering and breathing in heaps of fear. Jaehyun looks through your swollen bruised and broken face- cracked lips, bruised cheekbones, eyes bloodshot from weeping, nose busted and bleeding again, the skin around them a sickly pale pink, and yet you look so much more beautiful to him. His fingers pass through your soft hair going all the way down to the curves of your body landing on the fabric of your laced underwear.

"Just between us. If your boyfriend gets Kun's head, I'll get you some pants." Jaehyun mutters knowing you can't hear and taps your cheeks- it still causes you to throb in pain and you're whining like a broken puppy. "It's cold here. Good night."

When they leave the room, you're panting simmers down as your vision blurs out until you're passed out.

Your left ear drum is bursted and you fear that you won't be able to see again from your left eye. Although the pain subsides from your body, your stomach tightens in hunger. With each passing second whenever the two figures enter the room, you're scared that they might beat you up just like the previous time. However, it seems like ever that day (that they acted out of rage and beat you up) was just a command from someone higher then them, because they don't touch you again.

They place a bowl next to your head, but you're too weak to move your head or see what's inside. You can smell through your broken nose that it is a meal and it's hot. They splatter water on you from time to time but they don't feed you or make you move a little.

You don't count the time one of them entered the room and began making you wear some pants and left you with some kind of jacket that draped over you like a blanket. You don't count it because you don't remember it ever happening, you just woke up and you had pants on and a jacket blanket over you.

At some point when your bladder was full, you held yourself and kept yourself pressed. And for the time you really needed to let go, you crawled with all your strength but it was slow, and when you got to the corner of the large room, you peed on the concrete floor before you crawled and dragged yourself back to your bowl.

You don't know how many days passed, how many nights passed. You don't keep count, you don't move. All you do is stay in the same place hoping that this nightmare will end and that you'll wake up in your bed with Taeyong comforting you.

But unfortunately you don't ever go back to your normal life. And so as a way to adjust, you crawl to the food and try to eat...suck the food before getting dizzy and accepting that you can only eat a little.

Only 3 days have passed with both Yuta and Jaehyun in astonishment of how far you've made it without a bath or using the rest room- you barely even finished a full bowl of water or the food they placed next to you.

While Yuta nags and complains about how he doesn't like being a babysitter, Jaehyun finds himself loitering around the basement checking if you're okay. He splats water on your face from time to time, making sure you're alive. He also takes care of your face and body when you pass out or sleep. He wiped the blood from your face, ears and body, he placed a hot cloth on your face, massaged your scalp and made sure to keep you alive.

Of course now you know that it's been Jaehyun who has been cleaning up your swollen areas and wounds merely because, you noticed that your eyes weren't stinging so much and when you tried opening them you'd feel that it was actually opening up.

Despite his nature, he willingly made sure to keep you well and alive. And much to Yuta's surprise when Jaehyun picks you up from the floor and thrusts you over his shoulder walking out with you, Yuta has so many questions.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Get Jaemin." Is all Jaehyun says as he walks out of the basement room.

"You know you're fucked if Johnny sees-"

"He's not here. He's torturing Chenle in the chamber." Jaehyun mutters going up the stairs of the mansion before entering the lower area bathrooms which had 10 stalls for showers. Showers that were on an open floor with no barriers in between. Jaehyun sets you down by the sink as you try to balance yourself.

Although you're weak and your vison is hazy, you make out a man covered in foam and is butt naked seemingly taking a shower in the large space for showering. He's minding his own business and thoroughly washing himself.

Jaehyun's eyes go over your figure before turning back to the man in the shower. "Ten get out."

"Yah." Ten, unbothered, continues to shower. "I'm not bothering anyone today. Strip yourself and bath, stop pestering me to get out."

"Remove your clothes." Jaehyun says nonchalantly removing his leather jacket and placing it on the sink as his gaze is on you. The other guy abruptly turns off his side of the shower and snaps his head back. Upon noticing the female presence Ten covers his manhood.

"No way," Ten laughs. "Is that Yong's chick? Fuck she's a beau,"

You're surprised when Jaehyun holds you by your shoulders and then points to his lips which began moving. Over the past days, your hearing hasn't gotten any better, however you can say that you can hear...but it's low and muffled. So using your hazy eyes to try and see the way his lips move, you make out the words: "Bath" and "Clean."

"Now remove your clothes." Jaehyun continues speaking in a slow paced manner to try and get you to understand. "I'll get you something else to wear."

With that Jaehyun gets out of the bathroom. You're left alone in the bathroom with another naked man, who gives you one last smirk before turning around and continuing to shower. Heeding to what Jaehyun said, you try to remain nonchalant as you begin to remove your hoody as well as pants. You remove your underwear and bra and limp your way, as well as holding onto the wall for support to the furthest shower away from the naked man.

You try not to mind him, as he seemingly minds his own business when showering, however when you step your foot into the wet surface and try to hold up your weak body- you nearly fall causing the wet naked man to carefully leap in your direction. He holds onto your own naked body on the floor and helps you up.

While you cover your exposed areas trying to shield yourself from his view- you feel self conscious when his eyes go all over your face. "Jaehyun really left his mark on your face." He mumbles. "Do you need help washing up? I'm good with that."

You don't recall nodding, but when Ten gets a scrub and some soap, he begins creating foam around your body and he starts scrubbing you. You can only shamefully look down while holding onto the wall for some balance. The guy turns on the water and as the water cleans the foam from your body, you can see the blood mixing together with the foam water. Watching the water mixture, an emotion rises in you and you feel overwhelmed once the tears start blurring your vision.

You don't make it obvious that you're crying, in fact you try to allow the water drops take away the tears. Taeyong lied to you. He lied about his whole life and now you're here. You don't know what to think or feel. The person you fell head-over-heels for seems to be part of the mafia.

Ten stands in front of you when he's done washing your backside and rare. You can feel the warmth of his body and how his manhood keeps dangling and swinging with every move he makes. It lights taps onto your stomach each and every time he washes underneath your neck. He goes from your neck, down to your shoulders and then boobs. You're actually pleased that he's not taking advantage of you and instead washing you thoroughly. He washes underneath your boobs with care, on your armpits- and he even cleans your belly button inside....which is something you found weird. But when he gets to your stomach he takes extra care.

Ten feels bad when seeing the bruises in shades of red, pink and purple as well as black all over your stomach. Damn. Instead of using the scrub, he takes on a cloth and rubs gently over it. You feel a sharp pain from your stomach and instantly your hand goes over your stomach- which automatically gets onto of Ten as he stops while looking at you.

"Do you need me to wash down there or are you good with that?" He carefully asks. "Let me do it, so that you don't hurt yourself?"

You don't know what he's saying, and the tears that built up pour out again as you hiccup and look down.

Ten doesn't know why you're crying, but he takes it as a sign to continue. He thinks you might be crying from the pain. Your breathing is rigid and he tries not to make it hurt, but there's no other way. You're entire stomach looks badly injured. Sometimes Ten forgot what Jaehyun was capable off, but seeing it with his own eyes always made him avoid the older guy.

Ten gets to your pelvis and lower half, and just like he did with your buttock, he takes the scrub and briefly washes over it. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

He goes onto your legs and cleans under both your feet as they looked in dire shape. "Jaehyun really-"

"Really what?"

Ten is struck when immediately turning his head to the corner and seeing Jaehyun with a bag. Ten goes back to washing you keeping himself tranquil. "You really fucked her up."

"Johnny said so."

Ten rolls his eyes. Of course Johnny said so. Although everyone feared Johnny as there boss and tried to be as obedient as possible, no one could do it better then Jaehyun and Taeyong. Those two idiolized Johnny to one hell of another degree.

As Ten ponders on this, he finds it weird how actually Jaehyun allowed you to take a bath... "Did Johnny also say she can take a bath?"

Expecting an answer back, Ten is disappointed when Jaehyun simply folds his arms and ignores him. Sometimes he really tried to befriend the other unit team mates, but they were another breed.

Upon finishing, Ten gets up and mumbles in your ear. "Sorry okay babe. I'd never hit a woman. But be strong for your Yong. He's going through hell tryna meet Johnny's high demands."

You make out some words but the rest of the sentence is muffled and you can only look at his lips. Your eyes is hazy and when Ten looks between them both, he feels bad.

Although he was in the gang mafia group, his main post was with the surveillance and equipment team dealing in hacking. He was never in the front line. Most of the times when he saw what the members of the front line would do, he wonder how he got himself stuck in such a work field.

Jaehyun takes over as he moves closer to you and hands you the towel and the points to the bag. "Get dry and change."

With that he leaves the bathroom. Ten once again takes heed in helping you out. After helping you dry yourself, he searches through the bag and sees a boxer. Helping you put it on, he adjusts the size by pulling onto the strings and then he goes onto a long sleeved shirt...which on you it looks baggy. Seeing the logo and the size and color, Ten figures out that you're not wearing anything of your style but instead this is from Jaehyun's wardrobe. He then puts on the black sweat pants and pulling the strings to adjust it to your waist before finally finding some socks. They're also big, but socks always fit and so they fit you fine.

Ten takes it a step further and pulls all your hair to the back deciding to braid it. It's a skill he learnt when he was growing up with his family and had to do his sisters hair. So doing your hair kinda reminds him of his sister. His heart pings when looking at you. You didn't ask for this.

Once you're done, Ten helps you walk to the shower door. He opens it up and you limp out. Jaehyun is leaning against the wall looking at the floor.

Seeing your limping figure and seeing you all dressed up in his clothes, he squats down and picks you up again tossing you over his shoulder and begins taking down the stairs again.

You feel much better after bathing, but still your body aches with the way Jaehyun holds your stomach against his shoulder. Upon getting away from the light house, your eyes make note of the darkness leading to the basement where you once where.

Upon Jaehyun getting back he spots Yuta and Jaemin. "Jaemin check on her. Give her medicine or put alcohol over her wounds, whatever she needs to get well."

"Well?" Yuta scrunches his eyebrows. "Are you crazy?"

"No I'm not." Jaehyun mumbles before moving bac to his seat on the corner and leaving the two looking down at you. Jaehyun put you back on the floor and now you're seated up right.

Taeyong slumps on his bed after a long day and night. He picks up his phone from the night stand and checks the time. 02h00 am. Looking at the wallpaper of you leaning close to his chest, his heart tightens. How many more tasks would he have to do to get back to you? He's been working extremely hard for Johnny, but yet Johnny still had his hands on you.

This evening was almost a breaking point for Taeyong, he was tasked to torture Chenle in the most vile ways to get information out of him on how to get his dad, Kun. But even though it was something he had to do, he didn't want to do it. Inside of him, seeing Chenle strapped up to a chair and looking fearful...only reminded him of you. Chenle was hot headed and refused to give up any information...that's until Taeyong was no longer lenient and actually began the torture. After stuffing a gag ball in Chenle's mouth, Taeyong felt the most heavy when striking his first blow across Chenle's face.

The first punch alone left Chenle with a bleeding eyebrow and forming bump. When Chenle looking horrendously scared turning back to Taeyong- he wasn't prepared for the way that Taeyong would unleash all his anger. Another hard strike against Chenle's face, almost punctured out Chenle's left eye and by now he was feeling scared. He couldn't even talk because of the gag ball- but that didn't stop Taeyong from swinging his fists and treating Chenle like a punching bag.

The strikes weren't only limited to his face, but to his abdomen as well. And when things got tough because Chenle still didn't want to realease information, Taeyong picked up a hammer. And with Chenle's hands being strapped as well Taeyong beat the hammer excruciatingly hard and stubbed Chenle of his pinky finger.

From screaming and yelling without being heard (due to the gag ball) and Chenle's whole face turning red with veins popping all over his forehead from how Taeyong beat him up and broke on his fingers one by one- Just made Taeyong feel regretful. He normally wouldn't feel remorse when doing his job. But yet, beating Chenle up only brought his mind to you. Who knows, maybe somewhere in the basement the same abuse was happening to you.

Taeyong sighs and shuts his screen off. He feels so bad for coming to visit you. If he hadn't visited you, then you wouldn't have been caught and this wouldn't have happened.

Meanwhile Johnny walks into his office with blood being covered on most of his suit as well as face. Taeyong was weak. Is what Johnny notes. While Johnny sat on the corner of the room and watched as Taeyong beat Chenle up this afternoon- it came to Johnny's awareness as how Taeyong was fighting Chenle. Although physically strong and he did a number on Chenle with a broken jaw, swollen eyes and busted nose, Johnny could still see right through Taeyong that his mind was elsewhere.

It's why after long dreadful hours he sent Taeyong to go and sleep- so that he himself could finish Chenle off.

And once Johnny started, he started by his typical standard way of chopping off one of Chenle's toes. Even though Chenle was ready to speak a long time ago while Taeyong was beating him up, Johnny wanted to make sure that Chenle wouldn't lie. So after cutting 3 out of 10 toes and breaking Chenle's arms- he confirmed what he wanted to know.

Switching on his tv, he watches you sleeping on the ground while Jaehyun sits on the corner of your room. After telling Jaehyun to look after you and make sure you're okay, he knows he did a good job. Because you don't look as shabby as you did before. You look proper and even clean. Leaning back on his seat, he lights up a cigarette looking out his high view window.

Taeyong was always his prized possession, and Johnny wanted to keep it that way forever.

So after getting the report back of your condition, Johnny decides to give you a few more days or even weeks of rest before he can allow Taeyong to see you.

And so it happens, as the days pass by and your condition slightly gets better with the help of Jaemin constantly checking up on you, Johnny makes sure to try and toughen Taeyong up- by getting him involved in other gang mafia activities that still needed to be done.

By the start of the third week, when Taeyong feels his heart becoming numb every second, when morning comes he makes his way to Johnny's office by routine, as if being summoned for the next mission. However for this week Taeyong is surprised with what Johnny tells him. "Your next mission is in the basement."

Feeling fearful of what Johnny has up his sleeves, Taeyong composes his emotions. It' been 2 weeks since he last saw you, and the last time he did see you, you were beaten up to a pulp and that was the only image he could remember.

But now following Johnny to the basement, Taeyong wonders what state he'll see you in.

And just to his dismay you're strapped on the chair. Although your attire has changed, the patches on your face reveal the type of pain you've been through. "Babe.." He can only whisper when he sees Yuta scouting around you.

"Tae-" Your eyes get watery and you begin whimpering while crying lightly. "Tae..." Is the only thing you can croak out while trying not to break down.

Taeyong's heart heaves in his chest when hearing and seeing how broken and scared you look. He swallows a lump down his throat, hoping that Johnny won't do anything that's maniac.

"You know that day, I figured something out." Johnny states while walking near to you. His hand touches your shoulder and jolt a little. "While you were beating Chenle up."

Johnny smirks when watching Taeyong's eyes snap up to his, just as he feels your shoulder stiffen. From what Jaehyun said, you were able to hear from your right ear while your left ear seemed damaged. Either way, you could hear him. And hearing that Taeyong beat Chenle, makes you peer into Taeyong's eyes. Surely, it wasn't the Chenle she knew. Surely it wasn't her brother.

"I saw the way he looked at you. And I saw the way you were hitting him." Johnny remarks. "It's true that you gave your all in beating him up. However it's fair to say, you didn't give your all because he was still alive."

Johnny mentions when letting go of your shoulders and he moves to Yuta.

"I made Jaehyun look after her while Yuta did a background check on her and while you were out there hunting for Quin Kun's head." Johnny chuckles. "And it got me thinking how it's exactly the same reason you run away. Whenever I put you on the mission to look for Kun's head, you come back with no results. I began wondering, why only for Kun's head do you struggle? You never struggled to get Doyoung's head. You never struggled to get even Jungwoo's head- and he was the fucking prime minister. You even got Jisung's head, and he was just a kid. I've trained you to be merciless all your life, and you've brought back great results. However when it comes to Kun, you struggle a lot. And I wondered why."

"Tae..." You whimper breathlessly.

Taeyong can't bring his eyes to you, as he can feel the tears already leaving your eyes. Johnny liking the reaction of Taeyong looking down to the ground while you cry, gets him to walk in front of you.

Johnny crouches down in front of you and taps your cheek. "I did a background check on you, and it seems you were adopted from a young age. To a wealthy Chinese family." Johnny smirks and gets back up looking to Taeyong. "I sent you, three years ago on the mission to kill Kun. And I remember how you came back empty handed saying you couldn't track Kun and that it wasn't him."

Taeyong inhales deeply getting his eyes to glare holes into Johnny's smug eyes.

"I dropped it and searched for another target. I mean, if we were gonna take over the Chinese business market we'd need to get rid of the most successful Chinese business man, which is Kun. And if Kun was undefeatable by my best pupil, by you Taeyong- then it meant we weren't strong enough. I put down Kun thinking that we needed to be stronger. And so I trained you and groomed you to be harder and stronger so that the next time we'd meet him, he'd be of no match. But no, I was wrong again. I sent you for the second time, you came back empty. I sent you for the third time, you came back empty. And what makes me laugh is that all your excuses made me think that Kun is some motherfucking top gang mafia in China. It was always the Kun mission that you kept failing. So when I got word that Kun moved to Kwangya City, I thought this was it. We can nail him when he's not on his home turf. I sent you again. And for the fifth time, you came back empty. That's when I knew something wasn't right."

You can't believe what your ear is hearing. Your eyes are watering and you're whimpering inside with your trembling lips. Taeyong lied to you.

"So when I caught your little bitch, I thought she was the reason why you've been slacking off." Johnny continues. "We brought her in, beat her up, in the hopes that you'd do your job. You managed to do your other activities and killing jobs successfully- but still, when it came to Kun, you couldn't kill him and I wondered why. Why my best elite man, couldn't kill some old Chinese guy. And why he also couldn't kill his son. I killed Chenle by myself since you couldn't do it. And after killing him, it dawned on me, perhaps I should send someone else to get the Kun job done."

That makes Taeyong's heart beat just as his eyes enlarge. "You didn't."

Johnny smirks. "I love pairing you and Jaehyun together on missions because I get twice the deadly combo I was looking for. Of course when you're separated you bring back results that make me proud of you two. But I thought to myself, if Taeyong can't get the job done, then maybe he's other half can."

"No..." You can't even hold yourself from wailing when just in time, Jaehyun walks in with one hand dragging a lanky body without a head, and on Jaehyun's other hand, he holds onto a clamped ball of black hair that's mixed with blood. A head that's dripping blood from it's cut neck. You instantly recognize the head and body. You recognized the body in the white suit instantly because the suit was a present you bought for your dad- and when seeing the head on Jaehyun's other hand your heart breaks when a grueling cry erupts from your lips. "DADDY!"

Hearing you cry rattles and destroys Taeyong in many devastating ways, but seeing Kun too dead and spilt from his body completely ruins and tears Taeyong down. He acts on impulse when his body lunges for Jaehyun and he balls a fist knocking Jaehyun straight to the ground dropping the bodies.

Jaehyun’s blood stains Taeyong’s knuckles dark red as Taeyong but doesn't stop there and keeps punching with extreme rage. Your cries are all that Taeyong can hear and he doesn't give Jaehyun a chance or even time to collect himself. Between him and Jaehyun- Taeyong was always the strongest and he made show to demonstrate his strength upon Jaehyun when using his fists to destroy.

Johnny watches nonchalantly while Yuta runs to Taeyong and joins to on the fight. Giving Jaehyun enough time to collect himself while Yuta distracts Taeyong- Jaehyun unleashes his anger over Taeyong. He tosses Taeyong from his waist all the way down to the concrete floors before getting ontop of him and starts pounding into Taeyong’s face over and over again. Taeyong tries to block out your cries but it's impossible as he sees you bleeding on the floor. He stops fighting completely, allowing Jaehyun to beat you up.

It's only because he sees Johnny kick your chair to the ground and press his foot over your head squeezing you by pressing you done. "If you're done I'd like to carry on my monologue." Johnny boredly speaks.

Jaehyun fuming in rage helps Yuta up as they both get away from a puffed and bruised up Taeyong.

Your eyes are sad just as your face turns red from all the pain that Johnny emits onto you by crashing your head. Taeyong tries to see from his one good eye but it's equally just as bad. Johnny speaks. "I was thinking what could be your punishment. And seeing that hurting her makes you weak, I thought of something better. And what can be better then cutting you loose? I've decided to let you go. Of course you can always come back if you want and find that out there isn't good for you without her, but regardless I'm letting you go. Take any car you want, heck I'm even giving you permission to take my cars if you'd like. And you can even have your girlfriend back. I'm not gonna chase her, you can have her back. There's no catch. Just a clock ticking. One hour I want you out and gone."

Johnny puts his hand in his pocket and tosses it in the air to Yuta. "Get him any car he wants. Jaehyun I want you to place the bodies of Kun and Chenle in which ever car he picks, let them bury the family, it' only fair. And Taeyong, get cleaned up from Jaemin, you can take your pathetic crying girlfriend as well." Johnny removes his foot against the side of her face and struts out of the basement before moving back. "Oh, and you can take her to her fathers house, her house is destroyed. In his will her father was sweet enought to leave everything in her name."

Just as Yuta and Jaehyun follow after their boss, Taeyong struggles to get up before limping over to you. You're crying and sobbing profusely and you look so small curled on the floor. Your legs are bloody and your clothes are tattered, your hair is messy and tangled and covered in dust from the ceiling. You don't seem to notice Taeyong and he's afraid to approach you but he knows that he has to get you somewhere safe. Even if he's weak, he forces himself to carry you bridal style as he limps out of the basement to Jaemin.

Jaemin doesn't ask questions and patches your bleeding head and puts a number of bandages around Taeyong.

"How long did they give you?" Jaemin mumbles.

"An hour."

"Will you be okay?"

Taeyong doesn't even know what to say or respond when looking at you as you're curled up again with your eyes closed as you silently cry. Taeyong whispers back. "My punishment is watching her suffer while being around her. He knows I'm helpless because of what I've done. I'm just hoping she'll forgive me.

And so when Taeyong picks out a car, and Jaehyun is done depositing the bodies of your family in the boot Taeyong begins driving. The car is silent with the both of you staring ahead in deep thought. Taeyong doesn't know what to say to break the ice and you don't even want to speak to him. It's only when he pulls up your father's mansion do you begins to sob out. It hurts Taeyong, and he when cautiously puts his hand on you - you slap it away and get out the car. Your cry worsens when you open the boot and see the bloody plastic in which your brother and father are. You try to bring them out of the boot by yourself- but when you see Taeyong helping you bring the plastic out your tears halt.

"I'm sorry babe-"

"Don't you ever call me babe." You snap your head around. You're both beaten and look busted- but it's you that's more heartbroken. Taeyong feels like throwing up and his eyes water when your own eyes don't stop imploring. "You hurt me, Taeyong. And I hate you. I hate you! For doing this. For forcing me to watch this every day!" You scream at him and throw his car keys at him. Taeyong catches them with trembling hands and looks around for you. "I won't forgive you. You're the reason why my father is gone. Why my family is dead! Why Chenle is dead. If it weren't for you, then none of this would have happened." You stumble back being too weak to keep your eyes open as you wail out. "You knew this would happen but still-"

Taeyong's eyes are watery when he holds onto your arms. "Babe I'm sorry- I really am- I…"

"Don't touch me Taeyong." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you try to get away from him not having the strength to look at him. But Taeyong still comes close as he tries to explain to you. "You couldn't even protect me, you allowed them to kill my family- and you get close to me by lying- you just wanted to kill my father- I hate you! Get away from me-" you implore pushing him back by his shoulders roughly.

"At first it was just orders," Taeyong can hear his own heart breaking when you keep refusing his touch and you don't want to look at him. "But three years ago I fell in love with you, and didn't wanna do it anymore. I love-"

"I hate you-"

"Everything changed when I realized just how much you mean to me. I fell in love with your world, the peace, your serenity, I fell…baby I fell in love with you-" Taeyong tries to get close again while looking into your eyes even though you shake your head and try to get away from him. "Babe I fell for you-"

"I trusted you-"

"Trust me now baby please-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" You break. You can't help but look at him in disgust, sadness and anger all at once. You can't believe that this was once your whole world, you used to look at him with such love because your whole heart wanted him. But now, his whole features disgust you. "Don't you ever, ever come near me again. Get out of my life Taeyong and go back to that hell."

"Babe please-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Your wailing and screeching hit Taeyong where it hurts. He backs off and looks at you with sadness, hurt and despair. "I can't stand you anymore. Get out of here. Please."

He nods his head, walks away from the car, tears streaming down his face and leaving you in front the plastic bag of the dead bodies of your father and brother. From the rearview mirror Taeyong watches you kneel down on the ground as you slowly reach into the body bag and grab one of the two heads and put it on your knee while wiping away the blood. Taeyong hits the wheel in anger- but it's in his anger when he realizes Johnny's plan.

Johnny said: "Of course you can always come back if you want and find that out there isn't good for you without her," Back then Taeyong didn't understand- but after his car is several of yards away his eyes widen. They're gonna kill you. Even though Johnny said there's no catch, he knew better then to believe it when Jaehyun wasn't anywhere near when you left. He stops the car and abruptly gets out running back to you.

And just as he gets in sight of the mansion which once belonged to Kun, he sees you struggling and wrestling with Jaehyun who looks like he came out from the plastic bag. In a quick movement, Jaehyun brings out a gun-

"NO!" Taeyong shouts.

It's in moments like these when he realizes that a gangster love isn't so sweet. He loved you for so long and thought that you'd be able to make it far with him. But he failed to protect you or your family, and even though knowing that loving you would kill him, he still drew closer to you. And now he regrets his decisions. When Jaehyun pulls the trigger and a loud blasting sound is heard, and your head sprouts out blood- Taeyong feels his whole heart shatter and splitting into two

News:

"Another night in hell city as criminal activities continue to manifest. With cases and reports being filled day, night and regularly by the hour, as drug exporters, mob executioners and many more corrupt the streets. Legal advisors of Kwangya inform and advice fellow citizens to keep off the streets and stay indoors.” Renjun reads the script stationed on the screen before looking down and reading the next point. "Unfortunately, our very own representative Kun, and former anchor woman Y/n, were killed and found last night in the dumps."

Renjun can't even begin to express his troubled heart. Two weeks ago they heard you were kidnapped, and then just last week someone reported seeing you, and just before a search party could be sent out, they heard the devastating news.

Renjun shakes his head in disbelief turning his gaze off the camera to glance at at his sheet of papers. He had to be professional and couldn't even shed a tear on camera. So he huffs up and continues.

"According to reports made by various sources, the people of Kwangya should be extremely careful or they might be victims in uncalled-for events. That's what it is, uncalled-for and dangerous acts. Following Y/n's suspicion, police have a led on who they think the killer, or mafia member might be. He goes by the name of Lee Taeyong. And his activities line up to the crimes being investigated. After the break we'll report live from Kwangya streets to hear what locals and shop owners have to say about the disturbance of the neighboring city. It is now 19:30 and you're watching Channel 5 news."

Taeyong stands outside of the tv station new building and sees all the flowers as well as candles lit up for everyone favorite anchor woman. He bends down and his lips tremble. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. But I will avenge you, and your father, and brother."

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maniculum · 2 months

Text

Bestiaryposting Results: Haesorog

Welcome to this week's bestiaryposting results! This is an unusual one in that the entry is short, but we have plenty of physical details. We're also following up two obvious ones with a description I genuinely think nobody can identify unless they're familiar with the bestiary tradition itself, or the sources thereof.

If any of that was confusing to you, please consult past posts on this matter at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. You can also keep up with the current beast of the week -- and participate -- by checking out the tag "maniculum bestiaryposting". The entry that our artists are working from this week can be found here:

Anyway, art below the cut in roughly chronological order:

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) took this in a rhinoceros kind of direction, drawing something that reminds me of paleoart depicting prehistoric rhino relatives that I have seen & enjoyed. I was going to say something like "I'm not sure if that was the vibe they were going for", but the linked post cites Brontotherium as an inspiration for the horn, so that's probably what I'm picking up on. The depiction of it defending its young makes this a really interesting image, I think; I like it a lot. Also, the design decisions explained in the linked post are genuinely pretty interesting, so I encourage you to check that out.

@moonygryffin (link to post here) ran with the "ibis feet, deer head" thing to produce something kind of like a flightless peryton, which I think is pretty cool. What's really clever here, I think, is how the body effectively blends elements of both animals so that it looks like a natural transition between the two. It's kind of bird-shaped, but you can see some deer-shaped elements at the top, and it's got this furry kiwi kind of vibe that's plausibly both "deer" and "bird".

Moonygryffin also suggests that the thing with the feet is the result of our favorite game, Manuscript Telephone, and it was originally the footprint of an ibex, which I think is probably correct. From some quick searching, it looks like Pliny just described this beast as having "cloven hooves". I think it's plausible that a later author changed it for purposes of parallelism -- "size of an ox, fur of a bear, head of a deer, feet of an ibex" -- and then someone else misread it and gave it bird feet. (Do ibexes/ibices* have cloven hooves? I'm going to assume they do, they're goats, right?)

*I checked the OED; both plural forms are attested, though the first is the more common. Which is probably why Tumblr is giving the second one the red underline.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) went for a similar concept as the above, but in a different medium and interpretation. Genuinely impressed by the realistic detail on the legs and head here -- CheapSweets has mentioned seeking out some reference material and art books recently, so I'm inclined to assume those are really paying off. Look at that thing. There's a lot of interesting material in the linked post, speaking to influences, research, and design decisions, which I think is definitely worth checking out. One thing I want to point out specifically because I missed it the first time I saw this drawing: take a look at the people & dog in the background at the top left. Now look at the trees next to them. One of them is a Haesorog cleverly disguising itself. Excellent.

(Also thank you for providing alt text.)

@pomrania (link to post here) has collaborated with @theforceisstronginthegirl on this one, which is a delight! Pleased to see you back, Theforceisstronginthegirl. Anyway, they've also clocked the error with the ibis thing: while they don't suggest it's an error for ibex, they do suggest that it refers to cloven hooves, which as previously mentioned is indeed what Pliny says about it. And then they also decided to give it bird feet anyway because that's more fun, which is very much in the spirit of the thing, excellent call. Anyway, the focus of this design is on the camouflage aspect. They've interpreted it as simply having stellar natural camouflage, which is why it's shown next to a tree here -- we can see that the pattern of its fur lets it blend in with the coloration of the trees around it, and that leaves tangled in its antlers along with its ability to stand on two legs enhances the effect.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here) went with a similar quadrupedal design, shaggy deer-like thing with bird legs, but went the opposite direction with the camouflage. Her post indicates it's shown here "shedding some leaves from the last time it turned into a bush," which means this version of the Haesorog is suggested to have actively supernatural camouflage that allows it to shapeshift. (Which is definitely suggested by the text.) There's something very evocative about the eyes here, which I like. (Also, thank you for including alt text.)

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) continues to deliver beautifully stylized art. I'm really delighted by the the pose the second Haesorog is taking in order to blend in with the very pretty Stylized Plants around it -- I think this is maybe not the environment where color-shifting is hugely useful, as I have no doubt the first Haesorog is fully aware of its presence. Something that makes this particular design interesting is that between the default coloration displayed on the left and the shape of the feet, you get a kind of "this thing is a step too human for a quadruped" feeling that makes it a little more unique-looking than it might be otherwise. (Also, thanks for including alt text.)

Over all of these entries, I'm noting that one effect of the clear physical description is that it does provide a more restricted space in which artists can play -- it's much more obvious than in other weeks that all of these are the same animal. Whether that's an upside or a downside is, I think, wholly subjective. Now let's look at the Aberdeen Bestiary.

...

Okay, we can't do that actually. The page with the illustration is missing from the Aberdeen Bestiary. So we're looking over to its sister manuscript, the Bodley Bestiary. (MS. Bodl. 764, also digitized online.)

So this beast is of course the Parander.

Yep, bet everyone feels foolish for not recognizing such a common and well-known animal as the parander.

Also, of course, known as the Tarand or Tarander, of course. Or parandrus / tarandrus in Latin.

Right, so the reason that I was so confident nobody without a thorough background in the bestiary tradition (or Pliny the Elder) would recognize this one is because it's not a real animal. And it's not even one of the mythical ones that managed to get a foothold in the modern consciousness.

I might be overstating the "not a real animal" line, actually; odds are good it's based on one. Let's talk about that.

There have been some guesses as to the parander's identity in scholarship. The Bostock translation of Pliny has a footnote that cites two competing theories: "reindeer" and "elk [aka 'moose']". The reindeer one gets an explanation -- differently-colored summer and winter coats -- but the elk one is just kind of tossed out there as a proposed alternative. My guess (based on it already being past 10:30pm here and not wanting to put in the time to track down a source that's cited only by a last name with no other identifying information) is that that one's about the parander's size being emphasized.

You may say, "excuse me Maniculum, neither of those animals lives anywhere near Ethiopia. What are you playing at? Are you going to try and convince me that the pre-modern definition of 'Ethiopia' was so broad it encompassed the Arctic Circle?" The solution is that the parander wasn't originally described as being from Ethiopia -- Pliny says it's from Scythia. Which... also seems a bit too far south. But it's entirely reasonable that the Scythians were reporting on something seen on a trip north or something they heard about from northern neighbors, which would put "reindeer" and "elk/moose" both back in as options. Scythia is close enough to the range of both of those animals that it's plausible they would be familiar with them.

Someone you may have heard of took a stance on this issue, interestingly. An 18th-century biologist named...

... Linnaeus. Yep, it's codified right into the scientific name for "reindeer" now, and has been for as long as binomial nomenclature has been a thing. Anyone who wants to make the "elk/moose" argument is going to have a bit of an uphill battle.

All that out of the way, now take a moment and scroll back up to that medieval illustration. Mentally compare it to the description and the art shared in this post. There's something different, right?

You may notice that the artist has given it cloven hooves rather than bird's feet, having not been confused at all by the "footprints of an ibis" thing. Now, often this is the result of the art not actually being directly based on the text, but copied from art in a previous manuscript, so a scribe can write down the wrong word and it won't affect the art at all because the artist may or may not even be reading the text as they work.

Often, but not always. In this case, I would like to float an alternate explanation.

On the left is the translation of the Bodley Bestiary I have on my shelf, to which I referred when filling in material from missing pages in the Aberdeen Bestiary. On the right is the Bodley Bestiary digitized manuscript.

Now. I am not trained in Latin paleography, so it's possible that I'm misinterpreting an abbreviation. But that word on the right... the penultimate letter certainly looks like a C, doesn't it? Not, e.g., an S? (It would be a long s here, but that doesn't actually help.)

Which means that the manuscript says ibex. The ibex -> ibis confusion is a case of Manuscript Telephone, but it was telephoned in the 1990s.

Again, like I said, I'm not an expert. I've never translated a single page of a Latin manuscript, much less had a book-length translation published in a handsome slipcover edition. So it's very possible I'm missing something. But right now I'm pretty sure that everyone's been drawing bird feet not because of an error made by a medieval scribe, but by the modern translator.

Anyway, that was exciting, right? I hope that makes up for me posting this a few hours later than usual.

#maniculum bestiaryposting #haesorog

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x-on-the-calendar-business · 9 months

Text

ryan ross iceberg explained (masterpost and tier 1)

tier 2, tier 3, tier 4, tier 5, tier 6, tier 7, tier 8

if somehow you have no idea how icebergs work/what they are, then i’ll give a tldr: it comes from the saying “it’s just the tip of the iceberg,” so basically, the entries at the top of the iceberg are the stuff the average person would know, and as you go deeper, the content becomes more obscure. for example, if you’re a more casual panic! fan, then a lot of the entries in the sky tier are more likely to be things you would know, whereas you’re probably only going to know the stuff at the very bottom if you’re an insane person (me).

i got most of the entries from this iceberg from a couple of others that i found on twitter, here and here [i]. i combined them, shifted some stuff around, and added some things to make this one. of course, a special thanks to the twitter users areyouIlooking and checkyesjuul for making the ones i used to create this one.

i also want to give a special shoutout to the tumblr blogs @pathetic-at-the-disco and @prettyoddfever because i got so much info from them for this iceberg and they are just incredible sources of information for panic! fans.

finally, i'm really hoping everything on this iceberg is correct; of course, i did my research and there was a lot of it i already knew. however, i was not actually there for presplit panic! so i can't speak off of firsthand accounts for a lot of things. with that being said, if something is wrong, or if there is something you think should be added, please feel free to let me know, and i will go back and edit the post.

enough introduction, let’s get started.

the sky (tier 1):

guitarist of panic!:

what he is most well known for. ryan was the original guitarist of panic! and one of the true founding members. he departed the band in 2009 with former bassist jon walker, which we’ll come back to later.

rosevest:

this refers to an iconic piece of clothing that ryan wore while they were touring their debut album, a fever you can’t sweat out. he wears it in live in denver as well.

(side note: the post i got this pic from is a very interesting look at their outfits from that tour so i would recommend checking it out here!) [ii]

good at makeup:

during the fever era, ryan was really well known for doing makeup looks, some elaborate. i’m inserting some examples here, but i’m also going to link a post that showcases more pics of the makeup looks he did. there are more that he did than just the ones shown in that post or here (like the god awful blue eyeshadow he did on that red carpet), and there were a lot of times he just did the classic black smudged eyeliner.

and the tumblr post as promised: the makeup styles ryan ross wore in summer 2006 [iii]

ryden:

oh boy, where do we even start with this one. there are actually going to be quite a bit of ryden references in this, but at the end i’ll link a masterpost for further reading (although most of it will be covered here). but to be keep it short and simple, ryden is the ship name for ryan ross and brendon urie. it was arguably one of the biggest ships in early 2000s bandom, as evidenced by the litany of fics written with them as a pairing. this ship (unfortunately) still lives on in people’s hearts today even though ryan and brendon don’t speak anymore.

also, i know it would seem to make more sense if their ship name was ryDON not ryDEN because of how brendon’s name is spelled, but the ship name comes from the mashing of their nicknames ryro and bden (which still doesn’t make any sense but i digress).

unfortunately, all of the ryden content on this iceberg will probably be long because i am a former rydennie (yes u can make fun of me for it go ahead) so i have a lot of knowledge on that ship. but trust me i know that ryden was not real.

“creative differences:”

this entry refers to the july 6th, 2009 split where ryan and jon left the band. the most cited reason for the split was musical differences, as stated in these interviews with brendon and spencer [iv]. however, most people believe the band actually split due to personal reasons since they basically all stopped speaking afterwards, and because of some comments jon made [v]. in fact, one MTV interview specifically singled out ryan and brendon as not getting along, but it has since been deleted [vi].

cheez wiz:

this references a clip from the pretty. odd. short-film called american valley [vii]. the video went viral circa 2015/2016 and became a huge meme in the bandom community, especially in the crankthatfrank yeemo fanbase (that sentence wasn’t in the bible). if you were a panic! fan during that time, you know the cheez wiz jokes were inescapable.

youtube

milk fic:

“ryan was kneeling in the bathtub…”

this is also unfortunate. to be blunt, this is a ryden fic in which brendon gives ryan an enema with milk. it catalyzed a trend of other shocking fics within the bandom sphere, such as the comb fic. it’s just cringy. sadly, it became so iconic that brendon knows about it and even made a vine referencing it [viii].

i would link it but i’m not going to because the author, druscila, is a pedophile. so there’s that.

onceler jokes:

i’m going to put a picture of the onceler, who is from the lorax, and ryan side by side. and that should explain this.

now let’s move on to the next tier.

tier 2

references:

[i] https://twitter.com/areyouiooking/status/1366887508441718790?s=46&t=srOJ3YueMMsx9_sm96odQQ, https://twitter.com/checkyesjuul/status/1368794897499615233?s=46&t=srOJ3YueMMsx9_sm96odQQ

[ii] https://prettyoddfever.tumblr.com/post/628882839458512896/panic-at-the-discos-2006-summer-tour-costumes

[iii] https://prettyoddfever.tumblr.com/post/629161631117656064/the-makeup-styles-ryan-ross-wore-in-summer-2006

[iv] https://patd.livejournal.com/2943372.html, https://patd.livejournal.com/2928377.html#cutid1

[v] https://oneweekoneband.tumblr.com/post/131968366779/jon-walker-and-ryan-ross-from-a-2009-interview-in

[vi] https://whisperdlullaby.livejournal.com/9051.html

[vii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBot_X9pquo

[viii] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyWlisnfrm0

#ryan ross #the young veins #panic! at the disco #jon walker #ryan ross iceberg #spencer smith #brendon urie #patd #ryan patd #panic at the disco #this is bigger undertaking than it may seem #but at least my ten year panic/ryan obsession will finally come to good use #citing my sources because i come from academia

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autisticandroids · 3 months

Text

broad strokes of my interpretation of 5x04 the end/the overall guidelines i pay attention to when writing endverse fic

it's about sam. in both a positive and a negative sense, all of endverse is built on sam's absence. on the one hand, there is a freedom and joy for dean that comes from being rid of sam. sam and dean don't really... like each other anymore from s4 onwards, and their unbreakable bond becomes more like a curse to both of them. in a way breaking it is a mercy, see: free to be you and me dean sections. sam's absence allows dean to form meaningful relationships in a way he's basically incapable of with sam around. and to dean sam is a ball and chain, he is first and foremost a duty, not a brother or friend. watch out for sammy. without that millstone around his neck dean is free to be his own person in a way he has literally never been in his whole life. on the other hand, there's the horror of it. sam says yes, and that breaks dean. while dean was running around having a grand old time exercising newfound freedom, he was shirking his duty. his personal world was ending, and he didn't even know it. in the end, dean will never escape sam or have an identity outside of him, and with sam gone - not just separate but gone - he is fully and irrevocably broken.

endverse dean and endverse cas are so divorced, but in order to be that divorced you have to have been married first. to circle back to free to be you and me, do you see how happy dean is in that episode? do you see how sweet dean and cas are on each other? that's the starting point for endverse. that's the point of timeline divergence. whether their relationship experienced a gradual souring or a sharp decline when sam dies is unclear, but we know that it wasn't always this way. this is something that changed.

endverse cas probably isn't as pathetic as you think he is. this is a three-pronged point. 3a. when i say pathetic i don't mean miserable i mean pathetic. endverse cas is extremely miserable every day all the time bc of having to live through an apocalypse and being cutoff from heaven. however. compared to canon cas at the same time he is way less pathetic. he's a lot more self-possessed, and feels entitled enough to a good life that the fact that he's miserable makes him bitter. he may be unhappy but he does not have the kind of self-hatred/low self-esteem that canon cas has because that stuff develops later for particular reasons. 3b. dean is not like. the only thing in his life/the only reason he's miserable and he's probably not even the most important. he's literally living through the apocalypse for chrissakes. and also he's cut off from heaven, which he in the text cites as a major source of his misery. i tend to choose to interpret that as like. missing the hivemind of heaven (or even missing his angelic siblings who he cares deeply about) in order to get it to gel more with my interpretations of canon cas. but even just taking at face value that cas feels powerless and debased because of his fall that's still crunchy and like. not about dean really. like yeah the guy he fell for is no longer capable of loving him but also there's bigger problems here. 3c. drug use. obviously endverse cas uses various substances but if we look at the actual text there are three references to drug use across two exchanges. number one is "are you stoned?" "generally, yeah" ok like we are all grownups here and can admit smoking weed is fine right? right? obviously being stoned all the time is a sign that things aren't going super great in your life but that's generally a symptom of something worse. and then "[takes pill bottle] amphetamines?" "it's the perfect antidote to that absinthe" there are two references to drug use here. one is the fact that cas is taking adhd medication. that's addictive and he could be addicted to it, but also it's not exactly unusual for soldiers to take amphetamines before a battle, nor is it unusual for people who have to drive all night to take them to help them stay awake. also, the way cas talks about it, the vibe seems to be that this is one of many substances that cas occasionally partakes in. the other reference here is to the absinthe and that actually is a cut and dried reference to drug abuse. drinking heavily before driving all night and then going into battle is super irresponsible and likely indicative of a problem. and then the other body of evidence we have is that dean seems to consider cas to be absolutely competent and reliable, so if cas is addicted to something, it's definitely what you'd call a functional addiction, something that doesn't interfere with his life too much. so, broad strokes: if endverse cas is gonna be an addict he is actually probably most likely a functional alcoholic. which is also pretty fun because then you can really play in the space of He Learned It From Dean. 3d. endverse cas is textually kind of a sleazebag.

endverse dean is a shithead but not the way most people think. the notable thing about endverse dean is that he doesn't care enough about other people - endverse cas included but not unique. he's a bastard but his bastardry is lack of care, not intentional cruelty. this is, imo, if i may circle back to the first point, a result of sam's death - after that, dean became singleminded, only really interested in killing lucifer. willing to send cas and others he cares about into a meat grinder to chase his white-suited whale. but he's not mean. just cold. there is the festering corpse of a love relation between dean and cas, but it's not a situation where dean is mean to cas in the way like, season fifteen dean is mean to cas. he's not controlling, not using cas as a punching bag or chewtoy. maybe there's some mutual sniping but mostly dean just doesn't care. as a point of interest, one way in which endverse dean is cruel is he appears to be a habitual cheater. just watch cas' reaction when risa accuses dean of cheating on her. that's the face of a man who has been in her position and knows she is a fool to expect better. but again that's kind of more about not caring about the impact of his actions.

#spn

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