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#also hope you like this nans i am so sorry it's this late
emojellyace08 · 6 months
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Hiya been long time no ask and I am sure I gonna be gone for a long time since my college day gonna start on Monday huhuh but I still look and heart around in tumblr.
So here a requesti, since today update of lookism we been granted by ptj of Gun on with bath towel. "I just thought damn does abs and muscles". I am curious what is the headcannon of y/n being muscle enthusiasts.
Basically they are a character of (Dumbbell Nan Kilo Moteru?) Name Souryuuin Akemi.
(Bet Gun recuirt her as his assistant and tracker of his health diet and muscle density lol)
Gun Park x Female! Reader (Do you want to see it closer?)
A/N: SHEESH This is actually a great idea xD. Since you asked for some somewhat spicy Gun x reader, I'm going to give you some and Idk if this can satisfy you but I hope you still like it and sorry for the late reply (good luck on your college day!) Genre: somewhere between fluff and slight lemon (not too explicit) Slight warnings: slight nsfw post reader is female (and is in an established relationship ; character x reader)
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It's been months since you have seen your boyfriend. You tried to contact him but you've received voice mails instead which can be irritating for your part. You've been really worried about him getting into crazy shit again. No video calls, no messages, heck you haven't even received a single greeting like "hello" or "good morning". It really makes you worried a lot about Gun. You know he's strong. You know that he's a one man circle, but your girlfriend instincts always gets the better of you. You want to convince him to quit his job since it might put him more into potential danger in the future, but getting to know him better made you realize that even he is a masochist. He really has the passion and lust for fighting so you couldn't really stop him no matter how times you wanted to. It can also ignite a really bad argument so it's better if you just let him be. But he promised that he will take care of himself though.
It was 8 in the morning when you woke up early again in your gloomy and dark apartment. You encouraged yourself to slump yourself on the cozy and soft bed of yours. But no matter how many efforts you tried you thinking about that bastard again just makes you groan, you're craving for caffeine again.
Fixing the blinds, you winced as the sunlight made it's way to shine your eyes. It's not particularly sunny, but the sky and atmosphere is not too dreadful either. In fact it's the perfect weather for you. You got up to prepare and fix the coffee mixer and make your drink. It took minutes of you tapping your finger on the marble table humming your favorite song while you watch the machine, you being lost at your own thoughts. After minutes, you were mixing the hot drink on your mug before you heard the door open, you seeing your mentally exhausted boyfriend. Fucking bastard didn't even knocked on the door.
"Where have you been?" you asked in a concerned tone as he focuses his attention on you making eye contact. His black sclera were still intimidating to look at, but they weren't exactly too threatening. "Business" he bluntly replied not intentionally being rude, Gun was just like that all the time. You were about to ask more questions before he approached you while hugging you back and leaving wet pecks on your neck while caressingly touching your waist pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry that I don't have time for you." "Hmm." you hummed as you drank the mix of sweet and bitter mixture. "You're not angry?" "Umm no? Why would I? It's your job to work for Charles." you playfully denied as he pulled you even closer, he knows that you're lying behind that pretty face but he understands and you have a point though. And hearing that old man's name really pisses him off at some point, but it coming from your pleasant voice makes him a bit calmer. "I'm going to take a shower" he mumbled as he buries his face on you even more. "Aren't you tired?" you asked as he chuckled, "Never have been."
Tapping your shoulder you watched him as he walked on the corridor and into your shared bedroom. It's his daily routine for him to go home and wash up first before cuddling and chatting with you on the bed. You went inside to prepare his clothes before seeing your half naked boyfriend, his scars showing up into his back but you couldn't care less. In your eyes, he's perfect.
"Looking at something?" you snapped at your own thoughts as you can see Gun's teasing grin as you laughed at him, your voice being gentle with a mix of tiredness on it. "Yeah" "You want to see it closer?" he teased you even more as you approached him as you hugged him from the back, you being obviously smaller than him. "You still look pretty even if you got lots of scars." "I know." he replied as you stayed like this, cuddling with him for a few minutes. He turned around to face you as he leaned in to give you a kiss, your tongue getting entangled from each other. The kiss wasn't really aggressive, but the way his tongue gently danced with yours is enough to make your underwear wet again. His hands were travelling to your face, slowly making it's way to your waist. Your clumsy ones are doing the same, it's playfully teasing his chest up into his abs. You weren't exactly that person who only relies on looks. But seeing your boyfriend properly taking care of his health makes you appreciate the effort he's doing to get stronger.
"Wow, you're getting more sturdy." you half joked as your eyes trailed down to his body. It wasn't necessarily in a lewd way, but it's just you being appreciative. And with this, Gun can't help but to be proud of himself. He managed to make himself physically pleasing so you also don't have to worry about his health. "Do you want to go to the gym tomorrow?" he asked as he leans closer to you with his hands still clinging on your waist. "Hmm... Sure, I got nothing else to do and it's best if we can check our BMI together." you liked his offer as both of your mouth curl into a smile as he pecks your soft cheeks making you chuckle. You got to enjoy your loves holding and kissing you like this.
A/N: Sorry if this is not up for your standards and it's so late (I'm doing my homework while procrastinating lol :)
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writingtomynanny · 1 year
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Good evening nanny, its been quite a while since i came here to speak to you last. Im usually sitting at your grave, i visit you quite often which you know. You already know all im about to say, but unfortunately beautiful, me and cody have broken up. Its not what i wanted at all, but you always told me to put my mental health first and i just had too. My heart is broken, still till this day and were in January now. My heart is broken. I know its for the best and i know i need too, im healing myself and im working on myself, but it just hurts nanny. I always wanted it to be us. But too be honest, us wasnt really us without you. You made up so much of our bond and helped us. Losing you we just lost ourselves also. But you know nanny, i never wish him any ill or pain. I wish him nothing but the best, the healing he needs and all the love in the world that he deserves. He will forever have the biggest space in my heart, but we just cant be together. I know you understand, i know you know its for the best regardless of the pain im feeling, cant speak for him. I miss the life we all had together, the good times. The bad times were bad, but the good times were so good. I miss you so much, i think of you every single day. I got in a really dark place for a while there nan, I was crying every night, i was taking a few too many valium, crying on the floor while begging for you to be here. I went to bed quite out of it a few times, the days were hard but the nights were even harder. I would cry for hours, one time i reached out and called a work friend and just cried to her. I was a few valium deep and also took an antihistamine, i wasnt myself. I havent been taking valium since, i felt like i couldnt have a night without them for a bit there. Ive been holding in my tears lately also. I broke down every night and now i hold off as much as i can, I balled reading the last few posts to you though. Something you also know, my nana died also. She lived a good life, i got to see her the day before she passed. she looked so peaceful. Im buying a new car this week nanny! I have worked hard the last 5 months and now im going to buy a 20k car outright with money left over. I am working so hard and working on myself, i wish i could show you and drive you around in it, but i know youre watching over me and cheering for me in the clouds. I should be studying right now but i cant focus, i just needed to talk to you. Ive had a few dreams about you, the other night i heard you screaming and i ran so fast to you, knowing you werent here anymore but i still ran to you, my heart hurt. I also had bad dreams about cody, it hurts my heart thinking about him moving on but i also know he deserves love. I hope with whatever hes doing, hes happy. i was messaging his old facebook at the start to feel like it was still normal and that we hadnt broken up. But then i just couldnt anymore. I have to catch myself thinking about him and stop. It doesnt work because hes on my mind 24/7 I have him blocked on eveything because i cant see him, or risk seeing his name anywhere. He unblocked me on facebook and tiktok, i dont know why as he never reached out but i had to make the decision to block him as i was obssessing over the idea of him reaching out and he never did. So i had too. I dont even know what i want, i just know for now and the forseeable future its just me. I aint entertaining anything, im just doing me and i dont want anything anyway. I am woman enough to know im too hurt, im not healed and i need to sort out my trauma/trauma bonding and bad coping mechanisms before even thinking about talking or entertaining anything. Im just not the same nanny, Its me time! Im going to wrap this up anyway beautiful. Sorry it was full of random shit about me and cody. Its good to come back too and see how i felt at one point in time though, Ill see you soon beautiful, you know i always pop down to your grave, sometimes multiple times a week./
I love you nanny, YNWA
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elriccs · 3 years
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"Look, you. All this talk about monsters...that's what people have called me ever since I was a kid." | Requested by nana @dicennio
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fandom-puff · 3 years
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Guard
Pairing: Sandor Clegane x reader
Requested by: anon ‘Can I get literally anything with Sandor Clegane? Maybe reader is a highborn child of a lord, and the Hound is hired as their bodyguard. And reader is very flustered around Sandor and can’t help but try to seduce them nervously? And Sandor is secretly digging it but tries to remain stoic and scary. Did that make any sense? I hope that was coherent’
Note: I... got a bit carried away here lol, sorry it took a while to write. also the reader in this is Robert Baratheon’s eldest daughter :)
Warnings: drunk shenanigans, references to sex
Gif creds to owner
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“Oh father, honestly. What need have I for a guard?” You sighed, setting your book aside as Robert Baratheon sat across from you. “I can barely leave my chambers without a swarm of mother’s little birds to watch my every move,”
“What good are your ladies maids against would be assassins, Hm?” Robert said gently, brushing your dark hair away from your face. “All they can do is tell your mother you’ve had your throat slit,” you didn’t grimace at his bluntness.
“Surely Joffrey would be the prime target?” You insisted. “He’s heir to the throne seeing as he’s the eldest son. And he’s an ass as well,”
Robert laughed, knowing of your disdain for your younger brother. “I know, my girl, I know. Still, I want you protected, especially when we set off for the north. It took a while to convince your mother but... well, she can’t deny her own bannermen will be the best to serve the job,”
“Lannister bannermen?” You asked, taking your father’s arm as he began to walk you to dinner.
“Aye. Don’t worry, I won’t let the Mountain anywhere near you,” he said, patting your hand gently. “But his brother, Sandor, is to be your guard,”
***
The journey north was... arduous, to put it diplomatically. Your mother was overbearing, Joffrey grew bored, Myrcella was travel-sick from the bumpy road and Tommen was dearly missing Ser Pounce.
When the parade of servants and guards and carriages and luggage stopped for dinner before sun down, you sighed, happy to stretch your legs and get away from the claustrophobic Queen’s litter.
After dinner, you followed your father and uncles to their own carriage, insisting you couldn’t bare another moment of your siblings bickering and your mother trying to get you to sew. Your father allowed it and you smiled as he helped you into the carriage, sitting next to him and across from your uncles. Tyrion smiled at you, asking about the book you were reading. You soon found yourself relaxing, under no pressure from Cersei, being treated as an intellectual equal. You even drank some strong wine (under Robert’s supervision of course) and soon nodded off to sleep against your father’s shoulder the way you used to when you were a girl...
“YN, wake up,” you jolted awake, blinking away your sleepiness.
“Are we at Winterfell?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes. Robert smiled fondly.
“Almost, my dear. Your mother is going spare, says you’re to go to her litter right this instant and put your best gown on,” he grinned, nudging you as you rolled your eyes. “Clegane will escort you, he’s outside,” you sighed and nodded, slipping out of the carriage, almost colliding head on with the Hound.
“Princess,” he said, looking down at you and bowing slightly. “I’m to take to you your mother,”
You smiled sweetly up and him, nodding. “Thank you, Ser Clegane,”
“I’m no Ser,” he said firmly.
“Then what should I call you?” You asked, looking up at him expectantly.
“Well... your brother used to just call me Hound, or Dog, princess,” he said, frowning.
You stared up at him, locking eyes with him, taking in his scarred face and stoic expression. “I am not an ignorant arse like my brother. I’m sure your first name shall suffice, Sandor,” you said firmly and he nodded, helping you navigate the uneven ground to your mother’s carriage
***
Your stay at Winterfell was enjoyable, yet suffocating at times. You grew used to the cold rather quickly, donning furs the way the Starks did. You got on well with Sansa, let Arya show you how fast she could run, held Rickon on your hip when he raised his arms up, let Bran quiz you on the different creatures Old Nan had told him about, spoke politics with Robb. You even beckoned the bastard, Jon Snow over after Robb told you they were as close as real brothers. You admired how warm Lady Stark was with her children, and how Lord Stark was firm but fair with them, disciplining them when need be.
Of course, wherever you went, you had a shadow. Sandor Clegane followed your every move, standing just close enough so he could see and hear you, but far away enough to not stifle you. It was odd at first, but you soon got used to it, smiling softly when you found him waiting outside of your allocated chamber each morning. You couldn’t help but be curious about him. Many recoiled in fright when they saw his disfigured face, but you couldn’t care less. It intrigued you. He was... handsome. In a rugged, scary, gigantic way. At night you couldn’t help but let your mind wander... thinking about his strong arms and great height and low, rumbling voice... you often woke in a sweat, despite the frigid wind of the North, your entire body alight with desire.
It was wrong, you knew it was. He was your guard. Father would have his head if anything untoward happened, and your mother would surely condemn you to a life as a Septa. But still... there was something about his powerful presence that stoked the fire within you.
***
There was a firm thud at your door. “Princess, I’m here to take you to the feast,” Sandor’s gruff voice sounded.
“A moment, I’m just... is there a ladies’ maid nearby?” You called
“No, Princess. They are down at the feast with your mother and sister... should I fetch one? Or perhaps the Septa or the Maester, if it’s women’s troubles that are ailing you?”
You rolled your eyes and opened the door. “There’s no need for that, Sandor,” you said firmly. “I’m simply having difficulty trying to do up the clasp on my necklace. Would you...?” You opened your door a little wider, inviting him inside. Sandor hesitated for a moment before following you, his armour rattling with every step. He admired your figure as you walked; you had decided to wear the colours of your house for the Feast. A black gown, embroidered with twisting golden antlers. You stood in front of the mirror, holding out the ends of your pendant. Sandor’s hands brushed against yours as he took the ends, and you couldn’t help but shiver, goosebumps spreading over the swell of your breasts as you swept your hair aside. Sandor gulped, clasping the fiddly chain against the column of your neck, his knuckles caressing gently.
“There,” he said, clearing his throat as he felt your heated skin. “Come on... before your mother castrates me for making you late,”
You smiled gently, walking slightly ahead of him toward the noisy Hall. As you approached the head table, Ned and Catelyn stood, but you quickly gestured for them to sit. “Please, sit. This is your home,” you said gently, allowing Sandor to pull a chair out for you next to your mother.
“Thank you Clegane,” she said coldly, eyes narrowed. “You may leave us now,”
You turned to him and smiled shyly. “Stay,” you said softly.
“YN,” your mother said warningly.
“Sandor, go and enjoy the feast. Have some food and some wine, I’m sure Uncle Jaime and Uncle Tyrion can spare you some. Go. Make Merry,” you said gently and he nodded, bowing slightly.
“Of course, Princess, your majesty,” he said, before stalking away.
You ignored your mother’s disapproving look and engaged in pleasant conversation with Lady Catelyn, mainly about when you were to be wed, but your mother cut across.
“I believe Robert intended to betroth her to your eldest son, but we must consider Joffrey’s future first. He is after all to be king and needs to have heirs,”
“Of course,” Catelyn smiled. “I’m sure a suitor will come shortly,”
You nodded, although your attention was no longer on the conversation; your eyes had drifted to Sandor. For once he was smiling, looking at ease as your uncles poured him more wine, your father laughing jovially with a woman on his lap. “I’m going to see Uncle Jaime,” you said to your mother, who sighed but let you go.
“Ah, YN,” Tyrion smiled as jaime poured you a goblet of wine. “I see you’ve managed to escape your mother’s side,”
“Don’t,” you said, taking the wine and drinking it quickly, sitting yourself next to Sandor. Robert sent the woman on his lap go, frowning at you.
“Careful now, YN, that wine’s stronger than you’re used to,” he warned, but you reached over to clink your goblet with his. Sandor gulped, seeing the curve of your back as you swayed slightly.
“Oh, nonsense, father. I am your daughter after all... and my uncle is the drunkest man in the seven kingdoms. It’d be rather shameful if I couldn’t manage a cup of wine,” you smiled, sitting back down and knocking back another cup as the men roared with laughter.
Your father was right. A few cups of the strong wine later, you were rather giddy, insisting Jaime dance with you. He humoured you, your father and Tyrion laughing and cheering you on while Sandor smiled bemusedly. “Come now, YN... that’s enough for tonight,” Jaime said, helping you stagger back. “She’s drunk,” he grinned as you giggled, sitting yourself back down. Your fathered grinned, allowing you one more cup before smirking.
“Gods above, Cersei will have my head for getting you drunk...” Robert grinned, although he didn’t really look too worried. “Clegane, take her to her rooms and guard the door. Send for the maester if she’s unwell,” Sandor nodded and bowed, watching as you hugged your father goodnight, before taking your arm and guiding you out of the crowded hall.
As you walked through the courtyard of Winterfell, you shivered in the cold, leaning into Sandor a little more, trying to keep up with his wide strides. He helped you up the stairs to your room, rolling his eyes fondly as you giggled when you stumbled. “Come on, Princess, need to get you to bed in one piece,”
“I’d like you to get me in bed, Sandor,” you grinned, nudging him, fuelled by liquid confidence. He said nothing, opening your bedroom door, helping you inside before turning around. “What’re you doing?” You asked indignantly.
“Turning my back so you can get yourself dressed for bed,” he said lowly, gritting his teeth.
“I can’t undo the laces at the back... my ladies’ maid is still at the feast. Help?” You asked, already clumsily undoing your braids. Sandor sighed softly, cursing under his breath as he turned around. You had your back to him, holding your hair out of the way so he could unlace your gown. When you felt his strong hands against your back, caressing with the gentlest touch, you let out a little sigh, leaning back into his touch. Your gown pooled onto the floor, leaving you in your corset and chemise. His breath hitched, unlacing your corset. You smiled, turning around and he quickly averted his eyes- he could see your nipples through the fabric, thanks to the cold.
“C’mon, princess,” he said, clearing his throat, thankful his armour covered his cock; his trousers were feeling uncomfortably tight. “Into bed with you,” you nodded obediently, letting him help you up into the high bed. He pulled the blanket over you, and as he was straightening, you reached up to kiss him. He froze for a moment, before kissing you back gently, stroking your hair. His whole hand almost covered your head as he cupped the back of it gently. Slowly, he pulled away, much to your dismay. “Sleep, princess,” he said softly, pushing you down. You reached up, pouting.
“Stay?” You slurred, eyes already drooping as the alcohol caught up to you.
“I’ll be standing just outside the door, YN,” he said, blowing out the candles. “Can’t keep you safe if I’m in here, can I?”
***
Tags: @lotsoffandomrecs @zodiyack @rabeccablake @simonsbluee @wonderwoman292 @little-bit-of-randomness @doozywoozy
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himbos-hotline · 2 years
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Hello. I’m sending you this message from the airport, which has been strangely empty. I’m glad you enjoy receiving my messages.
I’ve heard that the storm in the UK is pretty bad at the moment, and I hope that you’re doing okay through that (my friend said that the wind was so strong that it almost blew their cat away, I think he’s okay now though). Apparently the power was out in our area for a while, and I’m pretty glad we weren’t home to experience it.
Food issues are difficult, but I hope you managed to eat something.
You chose good ice cream flavours. I think my favourite is cookie dough. Apparently some members of our system are incredibly passionate about “the correct way to eat ice cream”, it seems like no one can eat ice cream without someone else having an issue with it (it’s all in good fun though).
I love you too.
- Hanschen (☕️)
I am so sorry for the late reply Hansy my dear, It has been very chaotic today and I have not really been able to catch a break and I have gotten to the point today where hiding away on the internet is easier since people are polite and speak to me as if I was human and not some kinda stain on their exsistance. But that is enough angst from me. 
Yes the wind has been very strong and very terrifying. Our fences have all fallen and our garden both front and back being exposed to anyone is really the driving force keeping me awake tonight. They cannot come to fix our fences until March the eighth. The wind was so loud it woke me up this morning and blew a window out of the shed we have. Today has really been bad and storm like both outside and in our house. Food is yet to become Ok and my nan thinks scarring me is the way to get me to eat when it is having the opposite affect. I think it is because I just do not feel hungry but for the reason. I dont know why. We have been able to have hot chocolate today which made Moritz very happy. we also have a new headmate which is peculiar since he does not speak any english well enough for it to be understood nor does he know anything other than three words in spanish. 
I dont think there is a right way to eat ice cream. However- I do not understand how anyone could bite into ice cream, just the very thought of it hurts my teeth. 
I love you 
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pixie88 · 3 years
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Tease
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Chapter 9 - Together - Adam & Ellie.
A/N: Thank you again for proof reading and scene ideas lovely @aussieez​ you are a star! This chapter I wrote the NSFW scene after I had a few drinks Friday night, so I hope I got all the mistakes out. It also includes something that happened to me in RL I’ll leave it up to you to guess what it is haha. Hopefully you find it funny as I have we need to laugh atm. I hope you like it!
If you like it let me know or if you don’t still tell me why I won’t be offended!
I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this new series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let me know!  
Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.
Song: Sia - Helium
Word count: 2123
WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, NSFW, Mild Angst & adult language.
Pairings: Adam x Ellie.
Enjoy!
After Nina and I had our nails done we did a bit of baby clothes shopping followed by lunch, which after Nina had a few drinks, so it turned into dinner too "Nina, can I tell you something?"
"Of course sweetie!"
"You can't tell Al! Adam and I were thinking Charlie could have Alistair as a middle name. Do you think he'll like it?"
"Oh, Ellie he will love that. That's so sweet!" she gets up and hugs me.
"Did you hear that Charlie bear you are going to be named after the two greatest men you could wish for"
I tear up a little "Nina, that's a lovely thing to say!"
She hugs me again "Aww Ellie, I didn't mean to make you cry, but let me elaborate on that"
I laugh wiping my tears "Ellie, I can tell your dad must have been a great man because you are a sweet girl and you adore my Adam. This is why I know you two will be great parents" This makes me even more emotional.
We finally get back about half 10 Adam and Al are already in bed, I open our bedroom door expecting him to be asleep, but I'm greeted by him in bed in just his boxers on his phone, he gives me that gorgeous smile "Did you have a good day beautiful?"
I start getting undressed "Hey, yeah, it was such a laugh your mum, and she's super sweet"
"She has a soft spot for you," he laughs while his eyes roam my body as I strip down to my underwear.
I climb into bed next to him, "What did you and your Dad get up to?" he pulls me towards him.
"Dad took me golfing, which reminds me. Mum has her book club tomorrow night and Dad has a darts night, so we have the house to ourselves" Charlie starts kicking, he hates it when I lay on my side.
I run my hand over my bump "Come on Charlie, Mumma just wants to cuddle up to your Daddy" I roll onto my back.
Adam's hand runs over my bump, his lips follow "Hey, You go easy on mummy" he whispers before laying back next to me "So this morning it wasn't very nice to tease" his hand circles my bump as he is laid on his side.
I smirk "It wasn't very nice to trick me at the pub either"
He kisses my nose "Well, you have started something now I'll finish it" He runs his fingers under and along the waistband of my underwear his touch is electrifying, I try to control my breathing.
His lips brush along my pulse line (Fuck! Do not let him win!) His hand slips into my underwear "I'm not going to make love to you Ellie" He parts my folds (God!) I bite my lip trying not to act bothered, he nips my collarbone.
His fingers enter me, I take another deep breath "So, who won at golf?" I try to change the subject.
I feel him smirk against my neck "We drew but right now I want to focus on making you come"
I laugh, "Adam!"
He speeds up his pace, I roll onto my side now Charlie has calmed down and I slip my hand into his boxers. I grasp him, work my hand along his hard shaft as my lips crash against his.
"My plan hasn't worked, I...oh god fuck..I was supposed to tease you and leave you wanting more...but..." his tongue tangles with mine.
I smile against his lips "But what?"
I speed up my pace "God...Ellie,"
I'm getting to him, "Come on Adam! I thought you were going to tease me?" I grasp his lip between my teeth.
He groans, "We've got to be quiet, baby, I don't want your parent to hear us" I pull his lips to mine again.
Both our paces speed up, we can't get enough of each other "Ellie come for me, so I can make love to you!"
"Not until you do!" I whisper against his lip.
He kisses me harder, firmer "I love you Ellie"
"Guess what?"
"God..what?"
I smile, "I love you too more than anything!" I can't hold back any longer "Yes, Adam Yes!!" I fall over the edge, and he hits his climax right after"Fuck baby!"
He pulls off his boxers and I help him remove my underwear as his body cover mine, he pushes pass my entrance.
"OH!! God..that's it! Yes!! Adam Fuck me!" my back arches of the bed I grip him tighter.
He grasps the head board, thrusting harder into me "Ellie, this is all I've been thinking about all day!"
"I have a secret for you...oh"
His lips move against my neck "Secret?"
"Uh huh, this is....all I've.....been thinking about all day too" his lips crash to mine.
He grasps my hips, moves faster against them "Oh god...I'm gonna..Ohhhhh" I hit my climax again.
"Yes, that it Ellie. God...Yes! Ellie!" We're both catching our breath he collapses onto the bed next to me.
"So, how did teasing me work out for you Adam?" I wink.
"Don't worry beautiful I'll get you back!"
I laugh, "We better clean up!"
I get off the bed and hold out my hand "Wanna join me in the shower handsome?"
"Depends on what you're asking?" he give me that grin.
"I'm asking you if you want to add extra steam to the shower?" I bite my lip knowing what this does to him. Adam jumps off the bed picks me up in a bridal carry and leads us to the bathroom.
~*~*~*~
The next evening his parent are out Adam has ushered me upstairs to get dressed up, he's cooking.
"Are you ready beautiful?" He calls up to me.
"I'm just finishing up now" I spray myself with perfume and make my way downstairs. It's smells amazing and beautiful every counter in the dining room is covered with tealight, lighting up the room.
"Wow this is gorgeous, Adam!"
He smiles "Glad you think so! I'll grab you a drink. Take a seat" I sit at the dining table and wait for him to come back.
"Apple juice for my gorgeous wife," he hands me the glass and pecks my lips "Right, have fun. I am shattered. I'll see you in the morning" he turns and walks out the room.
"Wait? What? Adam?" I heard his footsteps head up the stairs. (He's joking right?) I sit there confused for a couple of minutes, I pull out my phone and look for the nearest restaurant.
I grab my keys and bag, just as I'm making my way to the door I hear, him coming down the stairs "Ellie, where are you going?"
"I'm going out for dinner as I thought we were having dinner here together, but I guess not," I try not to act bothered but the tone of my voice gives me away.
He gives me that smile and chuckles as he wraps his arms around me "I was messing with you, I was getting you back for yesterday, did you really think I went to all this effort to let it go to waste?"
"WHAT!? You thought that was funny?" I spit back at him before I pull away from him and walk out of the house and towards the car.
"Ellie, wait I'm sorry it was just a joke!"
He gently grabs my arm and spins me round to see the massive smile on my face "Gotcha!" I stick my tongue out at him.
"Now that was evil! I thought I had really upset you!"
I laugh, "No, but now you have to come up with something better than what you had planned"
He grins, "I just dug my own grave didn't I?"
"Well, that will teach you for playing a prank on me won't it! So, get thinking Mister!"
He kisses my nose "I think I have just the perfect idea grab a coat and blanket. I'm going to grab the food and a few other bits"
"Where are we going?" I call after him.
"It's a surprise" he throws me a smirk.
A few minutes later we are in the car, Adam is driving "You know your Mum made her own playlist yesterday. There was a song that kinda reminds me of us and everything we've been through lately"
"Oh, what song is that?"
I laugh, "She actually heard it in one of the Fifty shades films she watched with your Nan!"
His face turns to disgust "Thanks for that! I didn't really want to know they had seen those films"
"Come on, Adam every woman has seen it or read the books"
He looks over to me for a second "What about you? Have you watched or read them?"
I laugh, "Yeah, I read book one but skipped two and three. But I have seen all three films, I can't remember if it were the second or third film me and my friend Gemma got kicked out of the cinema for laughing and talking the whole way through!"
"You got kicked out of the cinema?"
"Yeah, there was this moody woman in front of us we were talking she kept shushing us. I think the finale straw was when he'd put Anna legs in this spreader bar on this bed then he flipped her from her back onto her front or the other way round. Gemma snorted and said if her husband John did that to her, she'd end up peeing herself especially after having her two kids. We were both howling. After that we were asked to leave"
He laughs, "I can say I've never been kicked out of a cinema! What was this song anyway?"
"I'll play it, hang on a second" I scroll through my recent playlist Sia - Helium press play.
His face lights up at the chorus "So, I'm your helium?"
I smile, "Yes, I think it would be prefect for our first dance song. What do you think?"
"I love it! It's perfect. My sassenach! We're here"
I look out of the window "Where are we?"
"Blackford Hill, we need to walk just 2 minutes that way. The view is stunning"
We finally got to the top "Wow, Adam this is beautiful!"
"I know, it's stunning isn't it?" He places a picnic blanket on the grass with a couple of cushions "Dinner with a view. Am I forgiven now?" we both take a seat.
I roll my eyes, "I suppose. but it depends on what you've made for dinner?"
"Well, you will definitely forgive me if it depends on dinner," he reaches over to thermal bag and pulls out a little tub as soon as he pulls off the lid I know what it is "I've never seen someone face light up so much over a beef hotpot!"
"Oh my god! Wait, so our romantic meal you got your mum to cook?"
He chuckles "Actually I make this, and she taught me how. I have the recipe so if it tastes exactly the same I can make it at home for you. So, try it"
I try a forkful (It tastes exactly like Ninas maybe even better) "Oh, wow... this is awful!"
His smile drops "Is it?" he takes the fork out of my hand and tries it "Ellie, you're mean"
I smirk "OK I lied. It tastes exactly like it if not better but you can't tell your mum I said that" we laugh.
After dinner we are laid back on the grass looking up at the stars, "You do know I will get you back for earlier!"
I hear a soft laugh escape from his lips as pulls me tighter against him "But for tonight we can call it a truce?"
"I suppose so! But watch your back!"
"Hey, have you see anyone walk pass since we got here?"
"No, why?"
"Good!" Before I can ask him what he means, he pulls the blanket completely over us, his body covers mine as he captures my lips.
"Adam! We can't! Not here! Someone might see us" I giggle.
"We better be quick then!" I can't deny him.
Later we get back to his parents "Looks like they aren't back yet!" He picks me up and walks us into the kitchen and places me down on the counter.
"Down boy! I draw the line at doing that in your parents' kitchen! What's the time?"
He pulls out his phone "I have a voicemail" puts it to his ear, his face drops.
"Adam, what's wrong?"
It's changed from shock to anger the phone is still against his ear "Adam, you're scaring me what's wrong?"
Continue reading this story here - Chapter 10.
@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @khoicesbyk​ @txemrn​ @shewillreadyou​ @irisofpurple​
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eunsjisoo · 3 years
Text
the one i’ve been missing
☆drama: weightlifting fairy kim bok joo 
☆word count: 1.8k
☆genre: fluff and slight angst 
☆a/n: happy holidays @missyriver​!! (and sorry that this is so late). i hope you had a good year, and i hope you enjoy this short piece of holiday fluff (that is slightly angsty). this is lowkey inspired by the little mix song.
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Bok Chicken was bustling with festive energy, the sounds of laughter, bickering and music filling the air. Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel at home as she looked around the restaurant. She watched with a fond smile on her lips as her father and uncle bickered over the stove, arguing over who was better at cooking. She watched Seon Ok, Nan Hee and Tae Kwon huddled in the corner, chatting and laughing at Tae Kwon antics. Even Joon Hyung’s family was there, cooing over Jae Yi and Ah Young’s baby girl and admiring the trophies and photos of Bok Joo from her childhood. For the first time in months, she was back home with her family.
But there was one person missing, and try as she might to ignore it, Bok Joo couldn’t help but feel his absence. It had been at least 2 weeks since she had last seen him in person. Between their training and competition schedules, they barely got to see each other. When she was in Korea, he would be on the other side of the world competing in a competition, and vice versa. Sure, they spoke to each other on a daily basis, and even video called each other when they missed each other too much, but it wasn’t the same as actually being together. This had been the longest they’ve gone without seeing each other face to face and boy, did she miss him.
“Bok Joo-yah?”
Bok Joo shook herself out of her thoughts, looking up from her glass to see who had called her.
Nan Hee looked at her, with her usual happy virus smile on her face. “Are you ok? You’ve been quiet all night. It’s unlike you.”
Bok Joo pushed the brightest smile she could muster on her face, “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be ok?”
Nan Hee smiled softly, knowing that Bok Joo was putting on a brave face, so she grabbed Bok Joo’s hand, “Ok, come join us then. Tae Kwon thinks he can beat Seon Ok in a drinking competition.”
“Why does he bother?” Bok Joo laughed, “She beats him at every challenge he makes.”
Nan Hee laughed along with her, as they walked over to the couple. “I don’t know, maybe he just wants to win against her once.”
“She should just let him win.” Bok Joo said, shaking her head with a smile on her face as she watched the couple line up their shot and beer glasses. 
“Seon Ok would never do that.” Nan Hee said, as she grabbed the soju and beer bottles from the fridge and placed it on the table. 
Tae Kwon looked up from pouring soju into the shot glasses, as the two women came to their table. “By the way, when is Jung Joon Hyung coming? He’s going to miss watching me beat Seon Ok.” 
“Yah!” Seon Ok and Nan Hee yelled in unison, both turning to look at Bok Joo. 
“It’s ok, girls.” Bok Joo pushed a smile onto her face, and turned to Tae Kwon, “His flight is delayed, so he probably won’t be here until tomorrow.” 
“Ah, sorry.” Tae Kwon rubbed his arm, after Seon Ok had hit him. “I’m sure he’ll be here as soon as he can be.”
“Yah, yah, yah, let’s just start this competition.” Seon Ok said, pushing her boyfriend towards the drinks.
“Ok! Let’s start.” Tae Kwon said, in his usual hyper tone. “Nan Hee, you count down.”
As Nan Hee counted down, Bok Joo couldn’t help but get caught up in the fun of watching the couple competing against each other. She cheered at the top of her lungs with Nan Hee as Seon Ok moved onto her 2nd drink, while Tae Kwon was still on his first drink. Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard when Seon Ok finished her last drink and started doing her victory dance around her boyfriend. Even though he had lost, Tae Kwon looked like he was having the time of his life, as he watched his girlfriend dance around him with a smug smile. 
Once Seon Ok had settled down, she wrapped her arm around Tae Kwon’s shoulder, and said, “Face it, you can’t beat any of us three at drinking.” 
“Ok, ok, I accept that. You three are the queens of drinking, and I will never get to your level.” Tae Kwon jokingly bows down to them. 
The three girls looked at each other with smug smiles. “Swag,” they chorused, making their signature arm movement as they said it. 
After a while of chatting with her friends, Bok Joo saw her dad wave her over. She excused herself and walked over to him. “Bok Joo-yah, can you go outside and get the present I left in the motorbike compartment?”
Bok Joo raised her eyebrows, “What present did you get?”
“It’s a surprise, please get it for me. I need to look after your uncle, otherwise he will burn everything.”
“I heard that. I’m a better cook than you, hyung.”
Bok Joo’s dad rolled his eyes, “According to who?”
“My girlfriend,” Dae Ho smiled, with a lovestruck expression on his face. Bok Joo shared a look with her dad, both cringing from her uncle’s expression. 
“I’m going now.” Bok Joo grabbed a jacket from the hook, and made her way to the front door. 
She stopped outside the door, pulling the jacket closer to her body. The snow crunched under her shoes, as she made her way to where the motorbike was parked. As she opened the compartment at the back of the bike, she felt arms around her waist, causing her to jump and elbow her attacker.
“Oof, yah, it’s just me.” Bok Joo whipped around to see Joon Hyung hunched over, clutching his stomach. 
She stared at him in shock. “Yah, you said you won’t be here until tomorrow.” 
Joon Hyung stood up slowly, as he recovered from the pain of being elbowed by his weightlifter wife,  a bright smile gracing his lips as he took in her appearance. 
“I wanted to surprise you.” Joon Hyung wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to his chest. He nuzzled into her neck, taking a deep breath as he said, “I missed you.”
Bok Joo smiled, deciding to let go of her annoyance and bask in the moment of being with her husband. “Me too. But you should know better than to scare me like that.”
Joon Hyung pulled away slightly, to look at Bok Joo with a sheepish expression. “Sorry. I must have lost my mind because of the jet lag and hunger.”
Bok Joo giggled, shaking her head. “That’s ok. Let’s go inside and get you some food.”
Bok Joo pulled away from him, and grabbed his gloved hand. As she pulled him towards the door, he couldn’t help himself from saying, “I love you.”
“You should be glad that I love you, otherwise I would have killed you for surprising me like that.”
The two of them dusted the snow off of their jackets, and hung them on the hook, before entering the restaurant. As soon as everyone noticed Joon Hyung trailing behind Bok Joo, they all yelled out in surprise, and rushed to greet and hug him. Bok Joo stood next to him as he hugged each of his family and she couldn’t help but feel like her family was finally complete. A warm feeling settled in her stomach as she watched him carry his niece for the first time, her tiny body completely enveloped his long arms. He would be such a good father, she thought to herself, as she saw the adoration in his eyes when he looked at the child in his arms. Next were their friends, and she laughed as Tae Kwon teasingly punched Joon Hyung for not telling him about his surprise. But her laughter stopped as soon as her friends decided to tease her about how “devastated” she was that Joon Hyung wasn’t going to be there for Christmas.
“Yah, what are you saying? I wasn’t devastated.” Bok Joo defended herself, “I was just a bit sad.”
“But you’re happy now, right, Chubs?” Joon Hyung asked, with a teasing smile on his face.
Bok Joo glared at him, playfully, “no, not at all.”
Before he could make another comment, Bok Joo’s dad interrupted, “Ok everyone sit down, the food is ready.”
Everyone took their seat, and looked in awe at the food the Kim brothers were bringing out, and as soon as everything was set, they all dug into the food.The sounds of laughter and chopsticks hitting against plates filled the restaurant, as everyone caught up with each other, and reminisced about past memories. By the time the plates were cleared, everyone was blissfully full and some were even bordering on drunk. Bok Joo rested her head on Joon Hyung’s shoulder as Nan Hee interrogated Seok Ok and Tae Kwon about their relationship, which they had kept a secret from the rest of the group until a few months ago.
 “Did you know about their relationship, Joon Hyung?”
Bok Joo raised her head slightly to look at Joon Hyung, raising her eyebrow at him. He better not have known and kept it from her.
“I didn’t know, I swear.” 
Bok Joo narrowed her eyes, as she looked for any sign that he was lying. When she was satisfied, she put her head back on his shoulder, and wrapped her arm around his. Joon Hyung held her hand, interlocking their fingers, as Nan Hee turned back to their traitorous friends. Though it wasn’t like Joon Hyung and Bok Joo could hold it against them, since they also kept their relationship a secret. But considering the crap their friends gave them when they found out about their relationship, Bok Joo felt like she should tease Seon Ok and Tae Kwon just as much as they teased her. 
“I thought that we agreed that we won’t keep our relationships a secret from each other, especially after what you said when you found out about my relationship.” Bok Joo sighed dramatically, winking at Nan Hee discreetly, who wholeheartedly joined in on Bok Joo’s teasing. 
 Bok Joo laughed at Seon Ok’s exasperated expression, and she could feel Joon Hyung laugh along with her. He turned his head slightly, to whisper, “Should we make them buy us food like they did to us? Let’s drain Tae Kwon’s bank account.” 
Bok Joo giggled and nodded, “They deserve it.”
Bok Joo looked up, and she felt her heart swell as she locked eyes with Joon Hyung. How he could still make her swoon like a high schooler, after they had been together for years, was a mystery to her. But, boy did she love that feeling: the feeling of home. Because that was what he was to her. Her home. And now that she was home, she didn’t want to leave.
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sincerelyreidburke · 3 years
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15 for platonic nando and ben because its not gay to want to marry the homies
First of all, please forgive me. This is only the first sappy prompt, and while I will most definitely fill all of them, it will come as no surprise to anyone reading this that I’m being slow as I do that. Do not worry! I won’t let you down. I love every single one of these sappy-ass prompts.
Second: Percy, this one made me laugh. I hope you enjoy the bro time ficlet I created in response to your request. Featuring Chef Nando, the Beech Street kitchen, and Ben’s incessant chirping of Nando for being a huge simp. (Quinn is only an offscreen entity here, FWIW. It’s 100% Ben and Nando bro time.)
From this list of prompts!
15. “Please marry me.”
Nando is making a mess of the kitchen.
At least he knows it. And it’s definitely not the first time this has happened. He’s lived in his room at the house on Beech Street for almost an entire school year now, and he’s completely aware of his own tendency to turn cooking space into a war zone. He can’t help it! It’s the allure of a kitchen existing downstairs from him, and a kitchen he only has to share with five other people, no less. Yeah, the freshman boys’ dorm had a kitchen, but a gross communal kitchen in a dorm with 200 other guys is a lot different from a house kitchen he can utilize for hours at a time and not get any shit for it.
That’s why he makes a mess in here. And he knows it. Even if he weren’t aware of it, Quinn would have definitely brought it to his attention by this point, because Quinn will not hesitate to start a bickering argument about this exact type of thing as if they’ve been married for 40 years. (Which Nando loves.) He figures it’s better to know something like this about yourself than to live in total ignorance about it.
So, anyway: he’s making a mess of the kitchen. In his defense, he’s making a messy meal. It’s a Thursday afternoon, sunny and warm (or at least warm for March in New England), and the weather has spurred him into the exactly right mood to make a big dinner. There’s also maybe the added motivation of his one class tomorrow having been cancelled, so today is basically his Friday. And also, he was hungry.
Whatever. The point is, he’s making empanadas, and anybody who takes two steps through the front door of Beech right now would totally know it, because the evidence is everywhere.
There’s flour all over the counter from when he was making the dough. The three separate pans he used to make the filling are stacked up in the sink, yet to be washed. There’s a pan of oil getting ready to heat up on the stove, and just for good measure, as if this weren’t enough food, he’s even making beans and rice, which requires two more pots, both of which are in use right now on other stove burners.
The empanadas themselves, which have yet to be fried, are all on a cookie sheet, separated by wax paper. There are a lot of them, but Beech is home to six hungry athletes plus possibly one more if Remy comes over, which he almost definitely will. Nando wants to save at least a few of them for Quinn, too, even though he won’t be at dinner.
Who said you can’t have a big family dinner on a Thursday night? Nobody. Literally nobody. This is college, and he’s living his best life.
Beech is empty, at least for the moment, which is even more enabling. Nando has music on, as loud as he wants it to be. He thinks he knows where everybody is, too, which is helping him time dinner. Jordy has debate team on Thursdays, and Teegs said something about going to the gym. Remy’s in the library, and Ben and Sam both have classes that should be out soon. Marc is probably with that one girl he’s been trying to wheel lately.
So everybody is accounted for, and he has the house to himself, which is how he wound up cooking. Nando turns up the heat on the oil, and waits. His shuffle switches songs, and he bops around the disaster scene of a kitchen to the steady beat. The sun through the window, though it’s on its way to setting, still warms him up, brightens his mood.
It’s a good afternoon.
He’s not quite frying yet when the front door opens, but he is stirring the pot of beans, reaching over to the back burner on the stove to get to them. It’s starting to smell good— everything is. Beech Street smells like home right now.
Not that Beech isn’t home. It’s just not the same home where Mama and his sisters are. It’s a home away from home. And Nando really, really likes the way that feels.
The door is a distant sound, with his music playing. What actually gets his attention is the voice that comes from that direction; Ben, as usual, announces his own arrival before he actually comes into the kitchen. “Holy actual hell,” he calls, as his steps get closer. “You cooking, Nan?”
“You bet your ass I am,” Nando replies, with a laugh. He pauses his music, and then turns just in time to see Ben walk in. He has his backpack over one shoulder, and his jeans are cuffed, so you can see the rainbow socks that match his scrunchie. He puts a hand to his heart as he stops to survey the scene in the kitchen, and then drops his backpack.
“Duuuude,” he whispers, kind of reverently, and approaches the counter. He doesn’t actually comment on the mess in the kitchen, because Ben isn’t the tidiest person. He’s not the worst, but still. Rooming with him was an experience last year. “What’s this for? You got a hot date tonight?”
“No, not tonight,” Nando mumbles, turning the heat down on the beans. “He has rehearsal.”
“Then this is for us?” A gleeful grin crosses Ben’s face. “Like, this is dinner?”
“Uh, yeah?” Nando laughs. “I thought you guys might want a night off from, like, dining hall food.”
“Wow.” Ben puts his hand back on his heart, and sighs like a damsel in a sexist movie. “I feel so special.”
He grins at him. “I love that you assumed Quinn was coming over because I was cooking.”
“Well, yeah, because you’re a fucking simp,” Ben replies, and then walks over to his side of the counter and punches the side of his arm. “Everybody knows that.”
There’s no use defending himself in the face of Ben’s chirping, but he tries anyway. “I don’t cook every time Quinn comes over.”
“He’s gonna be jealous.” Ben pulls his phone from his pocket. “I’m gonna send him a pict— wait, dude, are those empanadas?”
“I still have to fry them.” Nando gestures to the pan of oil. “But yes.”
“Oh, my God.” Ben laughs and swoons. “Please marry me, dude. Like, what the fuck.”
Nando leans to the oven, to turn it on so it’ll keep the empanadas warm. “Well, now Quinn’s definitely gonna be jealous.”
“Seriously.” Ben arches an eyebrow, flashing his trademark smirk. “I’m sending him a picture. I’m gonna tell him I’m stealing his man and the food that comes with him.”
“I feel like you’re reducing me to my ability to cook.” Nando pauses, as he draws back from the buttons on the oven. He grabs a wooden spoon and turns it upside down, pressing it into the oil to test the temperature. It bubbles a little, but it’s definitely not hot enough yet. “Like a housewife?”
“You are a housewife.” Ben is typing on his phone— Snapchatting Quinn, by the looks of what Nando can see on the screen. There’s a black caption bar over a photo of the tray of empanadas. “You’re the Beech Street personal chef. And I love you for it.”
Nando grins. “I love you, too.”
Ben finishes his Snapchat, then puts his phone back into his pocket and declares, “C’mere, big man.” He hugs him from the side, and Nando pats him on the back with his free hand. “You’re a legend,” Ben announces. “Thanks for feeding our sorry asses.”
“Wow,” Nando chirps, raising an eyebrow at his best friend. “Is this you being actually sentimental? What’s your deal?”
“Fuck off.” Ben immediately punches his arm again, but stays in the hug for a second more before he lets him go. “Who says I can’t appreciate the homies?”
Nando snorts. “I know you’re just trying to get extra empanadas.”
“Not true,” Ben retorts, even though it totally is true. He tucks one of his stray hairs behind his ear, and then folds his arms, surveying the kitchen scene again. “Also, where is everybody?”
Nando rattles off the list of people’s locations he came up with in his own head a little while ago. Ben nods as he does it, then shrugs, walking over to a barstool and hopping up into it. “Looks like it’s just me and you, simp boy.”
“Looks like it is.” Nando knows Ben can’t see his face anymore, as he tests the oil again. He’s grinning anyway. “Do you care if I put my music back on?”
“Yes,” Ben replies. “Your music is trash.”
“Hey!” The oil is hot. Nando straightens and looks over his shoulder. “What’s wrong with my music?”
“I told you,” Ben says, simply. He’s scrolling through his phone at the counter. “It’s trash.” There’s a brief pause, and then Nando’s bluetooth speaker makes a little ping.
Connected to: Ben’s iPhone, says the robot voice, and Nando rolls his eyes. “Come into my kitchen,” he mumbles. “Chirp my ass. Disrespect my music.”
“Oh!” Ben completely ignores this, and grins at his phone. “Q Snapped me back.” He pauses, like he’s waiting for something to load, and then announces, “He says he’s jealous and to save him some.”
Nando turns back to his empanadas, so Ben won’t see the smile on his face as he remarks, “Tell him I was already going to.”
“Of course you were,” Ben mumbles. “You fucking simp ass.”
The oven beeps— it’s finished heating. Nando thinks it’s easier to just fry everything at once and leave it warm in the oven, rather than wait for people to be ready to eat and try to time it. He takes a second cookie sheet out, for as he finishes frying. The apron Quinn made him, tied tight around his waist right now, is about to get kind of greasy. Not that it hasn’t already been through hell and back. He’s had it for over a year.
Behind him, Ben is quiet for a second, and then he starts playing Bruno Mars at a respectable volume through the Bluetooth speaker. Nando grins, and sways his shoulders to the opening couple of beats of 24K Magic. “See,” Ben says, with a grin in his voice. “Don’t say I never did anything for you, Nanny. I know what you like.”
“This is a good song,” he replies, and then Ben immediately starts singing. Nando laughs, loud and long, with the sun warm on his face and a good feeling in his chest.
He drops the first empanada into the oil and sings along with his best friend. Together, they make the kitchen into their own little party. Ben is a bad dancer and Nando is a worse singer, but they vibe together in the kitchen anyway, between batches of frying and various chirps. Nando thinks, as he cooks, that he honestly couldn’t be having more fun.
So, yeah. It’s a really great afternoon.
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talicat713 · 4 years
Text
It's Always Been Molly
John Shelby x OC story
Part Three
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A/N: Two updates in one weekend! Who am I lol! Another part is up!  You get a glimpse of the Mollys past in this one.  I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. Thank you to the person who made the GIF above. I think it might be perfect for this part.  Links to the other parts are below.  Happy reading!
PART ONE ; PART TWO
Warnings: language, mention of abuse, mention of murder and death, mention of pregnancy and childbirth, angst, alcohol (I’m trying really hard with these btw. If I leave something out I’m so sorry)
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Two days after her meeting with Thomas, a friend was bringing the rest of her things from London. She had to meet him at the train station. 
Molly had woken up earlier than usual that day. As she walked down the hallway, she saw Jacobs door open. Walking down the steps, she could smell breakfast being made.  She was surprised to see her brother standing by the cooker. 
“When the ‘ell did you learn how to cook?”, she said as she sat down at the table and started making her plate. 
Jacob came to sit down with the rest of the meal,” The nice nanny Tommy hired to watch me after you left taught me.  I think her name was Helen. I just called her Nan. Dad wasn’t happy when he came back, and she was here instead of you.” He looked up at his sister waiting for her reaction. 
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, “Are we really going to talk about this now? I’ve been back for three days!”, she exclaimed. 
“You were never on the receiving end of Richards abuse. Mum and I protected you from that. He killed our mother, but paid off the police to rule it an accident. Then he tried to kill me the same way Jake. And don’t think I don’t know about the time he came home drunk, like he always did, and almost bloody shot you.”
Jacob looked over at his sister with wide eyes. That had happened about a year after she had left. He didn’t know she knew about that.  He begged Tommy not to tell anyone, especially her. And a few days later Tommy and Polly had come over to sign him into Helen’s custody, on Molly’s behave and told him his father was never coming back to hurt anyone again. 
“I was the one who told Tommy to have the Peaky Blinders finish him. Tommy told me they did it slowly and painfully. A way to punish him for what he did to me and our mother. For all the mental, physical, sexual abuse he bestowed on us. Tommy said in the end, John was the one who pulled the trigger. His way of a vengeance for being half the reason I had left,” Molly continued as she stared right at the brother with no emotion on her face.
Jacob reaches over the table to grab her hand, giving it a squeeze,” I was never sad. I was more relieved. And I’m not mad you called the order. Back then I hoped it would bring you back, but I’m happy you are here now. Even though, it’s my fault.”
“I told you not to worry about that. I’ve got everything settled. We are going to the train station this afternoon to get the rest of my things and then I’m officially here for a while,” she smiled. “Tommy said he called a family meeting to announce my homecoming and employment as the maid for the betting shop. We are both invited. At this meeting you will apologize and Tommy will then make you an offer. You’ll either become a Peaky Blinder or you’ll go to work with their horses. You have the afternoon to decide. And then tomorrow, we both start our new jobs.”
Jacob nodded in agreement knowing he didn’t have a choice. He was the one who let it slip to his friends about his relationship with the Shelby’s. He was going to help his sister make it right. 
As the clock struck noon, Molly and Jacob were at the train station waiting for the train from London to arrive. Soon Terry would arrive with the rest of her stuff, and they would never have to see each other again. Terry and Molly had an on then off kind of relationship. He was the landlord of her apartment building. When she got the call, they were off again, so he was relieved when she said she wouldn’t be back for a while. Unfortunately, he didn’t sign up to bring the rest of her stuff to her, so she knew he would be irritable when he got here. 
As the train pulled into the station and people started to exit, she could hear Terry grumbling in the distance. 
“Molly fucking Payne where are you?”, he screamed across the platform. 
“Well hello to you too Terry. This is my brother Jacob. Jacob this is Terry”, Molly said as she introduced them. Jacob stuck out his hand for a handshake, but Terry ignored him.
“Just give me the fuckin’ money, so I can get the ‘ell back to London,” he said dropping her bags at their feet. 
Molly handed him his money and he walked away. “I don’t know what the hell I ever saw in him. Must have been all the good alcohol he fed me and the cheap rent,” she chuckled and rolled her eyes. 
As they were gathering her bags, Molly looked up to see a man on one knee proposing to his lady with an older woman standing next to her. She thought to herself how cute that was and when they walked past the trio, she called out,” Congratulations.” 
This made the older woman look up, and she and Molly’s eyes met. Molly quickly, then looked away, hoping Polly didn’t recognize her, but unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
“Molly Payne. My sweet Molly!”, Polly exclaimed happily. She then grabbed the girl and wrapped her in a hug and kissed her forehead. 
Molly then realized the other two people with Polly were Ada and Freddie. She smiled when Ada pulled her into a hug as well. She gave a small hello nod to Freddie and mouthed sorry for ruining their moment. It wasn’t until Ada squeezed her really hard that she felt something poking between them. 
Molly pulled away with a giant smile on her face, “You’re pregnant!” She reached to put her hand on Adas small bump. 
Ada when leaned into Freddie, “We are! And just in time because by the looks of these bags, it could only mean auntie Molly is back in town.”
“When did you get back? Does anyone know you are here? Does John?”, Polly asked. 
Molly then explained that Tommy was the only one besides her brother, who was forgotten during the reunion, that she was here. But everyone, including John would find out tonight.  She made them promise not to say anything until then.  After they all agreed, they went their separate ways.
As the evening approached, Molly watched out the window as all the Shelbys arrived for their family meeting. Thomas called her after she had returned from the train station to tell her to come over around half past six. He wanted her to knock on the door and wait for him to come get them. 
She looked over at the clock. It was just after six. She got up from the sofa to head upstairs. “Hey, let’s start to get ready. We need to leave soon,” she said as she walked past his room on her way to hers. She sat at the vanity to fix her hair and then went over to the wardrobe to pick a dress. 
With one last look over herself in the mirror, she took a deep breath to calm the nerves that had suddenly appeared. She walked through the hall and down the steps, she notices it’s twenty past six. 
“Jake, please hurry up. I really don’t want to be late,” she said in an anxious tone as she fumbled around trying to get everything together but her hands were shaking.
Jacob came down the steps moments later chuckling,” We are walking across the street. We won’t be late.”  He then grabs the girl by her shoulders to stop her, “Molly, Molly! Stop! Everything will be fine. You look great. Everyone will be so happy to see you.”
“Yeah. Okay,” she said not convinced and took another deep breath.
The two then put their coats on and walked out the door across the street. As they approached the Shelby house, Molly was frozen with fear and anxiety. Jacob then took the initiative to knock on the door signaling they arrived.  Moments later Thomas answered the door and ushered her and Jacob in.  
“Wait here for just a minute”, Thomas whispered, walking back into the kitchen. 
“Now, onto the second reason I gathered you all here today. A few weeks ago, someone had broken into the betting shop after hours and took some money we left laying out,” Thomas looked around at each of his siblings and aunt,” Now part of that was our fault, but me and the Blinders found the boys that had done it and took care of them, except for one. I asked him to come here tonight to speak to us about how he will pay us back. Jacob, please come in here.”
Jacob followed Thomas into the room. “Hello everyone. I would first like to say I am deeply, deeply sorry for stealing from you. I fell into the wrong crowd, and they used my relationship with you all against me. I hope you all can forgive me. We will do everything we can to pay everything back. 
“We? Whose we?”, Arthur piped up.
“Yeah, whose we? You mean you and the redhead leaving your house every morning,” John said jokingly as he stood to wrap an arm around the boy. 
Now with Johns back to her, Molly thought it would be a good time to walk into the kitchen. All eyes were on her except for Johns, who didn’t hear her walk up behind him.  Polly and Ada were smiling, Thomas was smirking and Arthur’s mouth just dropped open. 
She then cleared her throat,” No, it’s me.”
Hearing the voice John hadn’t heard in eight years, his eyes widened with shock, and he turned around.  There was no way he was seeing and hearing correctly. He was speechless.
“Hello everyone. Hello John,” Molly going to grab a hold of her brother.
“Now that Jacob has apologized. I hope you all don’t mind, I’ll be working here, as the maid and nanny for Finn. I’ll also help with your children when needed John,” she said looking at him. His expression still shocked that she was standing there after all these years.
“Jacob here has decided to take a job as a Peaky Blinder, with everyone’s permission. I hope that him joining will help pay back everything you all have done for us.  I want you all to teach him how to keep the city safe. I hope to keep this place tidy and up to your standards, as well as keep Finn out of trouble,” Molly continued. 
Polly then stood up and came toward Jacob,” He’ll be a good man to help keep the pubs in check,” she then turned to Tommy,” You keep him away from the fighting for now. I can still sense the scared child in him.”
She then made her way over to Molly. She looked at her with sad eyes, sensing the fear in her heart. Polly then again turned to Tommy,” She doesn’t need to be involved. She doesn’t owe us anything,” Polly then moved her eyes over to John, who was now stood leaning against the wall,” She was almost family. She should have been rising with us not under us. Jacob being a Blinder should be enough to cover the damage.”
“A deal has already been set Polly. She and I sat down a few days ago and agreed to the terms,” Tommy said back.
“Well then undo it. The poor girl is still broken, I can sense it. Why would you make a decision like this and not consult the rest of us,” Polly spat back. 
Molly then reached for Polly’s hand,” It’s okay Pol. I’ll be alright. It’s just cleaning and watching over the children”, she then reached her other hand out for Ada,” Just think, I’ll be able to help deliver the baby. Just like we did when Finn was born.” 
Polly smiles at the memory. Her sister had been having a hard time delivering the little boy, so she had Ada run across the lane for Molly’s mother. Molly had insisted on going with her leaving Jacob with Ada. That was the first time she had ever seen a baby be born. After, Molly had told John that’s what she wanted to do with when she was older. Have babies and deliver them. 
“I have something to look forward to, so I won’t be running away again,” Molly continued while smiling at the memory as well. She had looked over at John and their eyes met. He remembered that day too. It was the day he promised himself he was going to make that happen for you. But of course, as time went on, things changed.
“Okay, you both win. I won’t fight it,” Polly says raising her hands in defeat. 
Tommy then clears his throat,” Alright then, all in favor of Molly and Jacob coming to work for us raise your hand.” Everyone raised a hand except for John. 
He then kicked himself off the wall and walked back over toward Molly. “I know you better than anyone else in this room. Look me in the eyes and tell me you want this. I’ll raise my hand if you really want this,” he said, wrapping his hand lightly around her shoulders, making her look at him.
Molly reluctantly looked up at John, “I don’t just want this John, I need this. I need to do this to help my brother. He is the only reason I came back here.” 
And with that, Molly shook Johns hands off of her and backed away. She then noticed John raise his hand. 
Arthur then stood up and made his way over to Jacob,” Well, I guess this calls for a celebratory drink,” he then proceeded to pour everyone a drink,” Welcome to the Peaky Blinders kid”
And just like that, it was official. All the Shelbys agreed and it was set in stone. 
They all spent the rest of the night catching up and drinking. Molly couldn’t help but notice how quiet John was. She knew he wouldn’t be happy with the decision and what she had said. But he was going to have to deal with it. It was the truth. She came back for her brother.
Or at least that’s what she thought.
(posted 07/05/2020)
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imnotwolverine · 4 years
Text
The marriage pact - A little madness
Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter
< Part 8 | Part 9 A little madness | Part 10 >
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Disclaimer: some strong language, mention of heavy drinking, bachelorette
Author’s note: Ever sent a drunk text? I did, and girl was it interpreted the wrong way...*woops* 
Word count: 1.912
(Link to my Masterlist)
--
Dear readers,
I am glad to inform you that my on-going attempts at becoming a published novella writer are finally starting to pay off. I cannot blab just yet, but oh my dear I AM SO EXCITED! Everything is so exciting! Life is exciting!
After years of hardship, toil and pure struggle as I crawled through the thick mud of adult life, I can finally see the well defined sparkle of hope on the horizon. Dramatic much? Maybe a little. But also; perhaps, just maybe, I can make one of my dreams come true. And for the hell of it, maybe even more! 
Now you may wonder why I am so particularly enthusiastic today. Is it the London air? The existence of chocolate cake? Or perhaps the knowledge that I can make things happen in my life, if I set my mind to it? I think it might just be all of the aforementioned.  
My cake baking nan had a simple saying: “Nothing just happens, until I make it so.”
So, dear reader, here I am, making it so.
I hope you have a most wonderful weekend my fellow dream-catching souls.
Ali
‘Ali!! Over here!’ Maddie waved at me from across the busy lunch room, the Jersey seaside casting a warm, salty morning glow through the high paned windows. I waved back at her and weaved my way through the room until I could sink down on one of the chairs with a relieved sigh, my face turning to receive her enthused greeting kisses.
‘Hi Mads.’ I grinned at her teethy smile. ‘You are.. glowing!’ She pointed out, her pearly whites so very straight and shiny that she could probably star in one of those toothpaste commercials.
‘Oh, it’s probably because I went for a run this morning.’ I brushed my hand over my cheek, to check if I was feeling hot - nope. 
’Naa...’ She shook her head. ‘It’s definitely not that.’ She reached for her cup of tea as a waiter appeared at our table, my order quick and simple: tea, no milk, no sugar.
Turning back towards Maddie I was welcomed with a knowing raised eyebrow. I sighed. ‘Fine..yes..I’m kind of dating Henry.’ ‘I KNEW IT! Ha! YES for all that is holy!’ She exclaimed, making some people turn around in their chairs, curious glances directed our way as they felt the sudden burst of energy coming from the rather chic looking middle class lady that was Maddie Smith. 
‘Madss…’ I warned from between clenched teeth.
‘Haha. Oh sorry. I’m just happy, truly. Besides..I am SO winning this bet.’ She wiggled her eyebrows as mine furrowed with worry. ‘..Bet?’ I gulped. 
‘Oh, no worries. I didn’t share my thoughts with our friends yet. Just Frank. And you know me and Frank..’ She shrugged, laughing heartily. ‘Yea..’ I murmured, looking up again as my cup of tea was placed before me. ‘Thank you, sir.’ I smiled at the waiter, then turned back to Maddie, studying her with a curious gaze.
‘So..what’s the bet about?’
‘Oh I can’t say that!’
‘Ugh..Mads! You are the worst. Anyways, we’ll see where it goes. You know how it went the other times, so..’  I shrugged, wishing to not get her hopes up.
I, for one, didn’t want to get my hopes up. This was all just too good to be true, right? An old lover returns to his home town and sweeps me right of my feet. It was too perfect. There had to be a catch. I mean, this was pure madness.
‘Yihaaa!!’ Stella walked in with another tray of fluorescent shots, my intoxicated girlfriends either exclaiming full-lunged odes-to-joy or swallowing back a silent protest. It was Loïs’ wedding in a week’s time and as the tradition went, there was to be had a bachelorette. 
Fully emerged in litres of strong liquor, dancing sweat and penis-related jokes, the night was running late and we had ended up in a sleazy shots bar, the theme most probably being radioactive drinks, as every new glass seemed to carry an even more chemical looking liquid than the previous one.
Bright pinks, blues and yellows were tipped back in our burning throats, relieved female sighs wavering through the noisy air as loud dance music bounced with a fat bass through the small bar.
‘Ooh oooh Ali Ali. Don’t look, not yet. Behind you, 11 o-clock. Hot HOT guy.’ Ginny nodded excitedly, her eyes wide as she looked over my shoulder. ‘Gin, girl. I’m not really..’ I was already starting to protest, but without further ado Ginny twirled me around by my shoulders, a tall blond man approaching me.
‘Hello angel. Havin’ a good time?’ He bit the lip of his bearded chin and I quite instantly felt appalled by him. Not that he was hideous to look at, or that he smelled bad. He was rather sexually attractive actually..and well..clearly into me. 
In this case, I think it was just me. I simply wasn’t in the mood for this. 
I swallowed back the remains of the bitter liquor in my throat and smiled at him, not wishing to seem rude. ‘Sure.’
He raised an eyebrow and eyed the rest of the girls, the whole group now quick to step back and form a new circle, excluding me. ‘Looks like I have you all to myself.’ He grinned wolfishly. 
Then I felt Maddie’s hand on my shoulder, her sassy tilt of the head catching the attention of the handsome blond stranger. ‘Sorry mate. Looks like she’s taken.’ She said simply, and with a tug on my arm I was dragged back into the group, leaving a confused blond hottie behind. I sighed a quiet thanks to Maddie, but received a firing squad of confused and disdained looks from the other women.
‘Wait..MADS! Come on, you can’t just..-’ One exclaimed.
I quickly interfered. ‘No no! Please. Eh..I AM dating someone actually.’
‘YOU ARE?! ALI?! Why didn’t you say so? You’re like the whole reason we are..’ Stella pointed at the neon lit bar behind her. ‘..here.’
‘Really now?’ I raised an eyebrow, then started to giggle, the alcohol buzzing happily through my hot veins, my usually well contained happy personality bursting out at the seams. I had forgotten for the slightest moment that I really was the last “single” woman left in this group, and as Stella gave me a most exasperated look it became clear that nobody - literally nobody - in the group wanted to be here.
They had thought it would help..me. Me! 
‘Who is it? Do we know him? Do we? Tell US!’ Ginny squealed, stepping closer, not wishing to miss a single word escaping my lips.
‘I ..eh…’ I glanced at Maddie and she shrugged, her mouth sipping on yet another alcohol beverage - oh dear we were going to be so hungover tomorrow. 
‘It’s Henry.’ I gulped.
‘WHAAAATTTTT?! REallyy?! Oh my word! OH MY!’ - ‘GIRLLLLL YES! Oh that is just..’ The whole group erupted in loud squeals, the excitement further fuelled as yet another round of drinks was delivered to the squad of 30-something-moms-on-a-cheeky-night-out.
Except for me of course. I wasn’t a mom. The odd ball.
‘Ohh..’ Loïs, the bride-to-be, pulled me in for a tight hug, her well coiffed chestnut brown hair smelling of fresh shampoo, the scent mixing with the heavy drop of hard liquor coasting through the air as new shots were being downed. 
‘Bring him.’ She said, keeping me in the lock of her arms until finally she leaned back a bit. ‘I mean it, Ali. You gotta bring him to the wedding.’ Her finger brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear - she was so very motherly, even when drunk.
I bit my lip, my alcohol hazed mind not keeping up with the turn of events. It was then that I noticed my phone in Maddie’s hand, the device easily recognisable by its bright blue casing.
‘Anndddd sent!’ She exclaimed, returning my phone to me, my mouth falling down in a quiet gasp. Did she just..did she..? I opened my Whatsapp and saw she had sent Henry a message, my blurry eyes no longer managing to fully focus on the words on the brightly lit screen.
Oh..oh..crap.
* Thuthumb..thuthumb *
In the history of headaches, this one was certainly about to set a whole new standard. It was..bad. 
With a soft groan I rolled over in my queen sized bed, looking at the alarm clock. 10.30 AM - okay, it could be worse. I grumbled a little as I reached for the glass of water on my night stand, then, after a few large gulps of the cool drink, picked up my phone.
> 15 Unread messages.
Mmmkkkey...
Frowning slightly I pushed myself up against the headboard, blinking the last remains of drunken sleep from my eyes as I scrolled through the flurry of words. I had nearly forgotten about the fact that Maddie had confiscated my phone to send Henry a message. And, well, apparently it had not been just any message.
Me: “Hey sexy beast. How about you, me, and a wedding? Keep the 16th free.” Followed by a wild mix of totally inappropriate emoticons.
I felt my heart rate speed up as I started to read Henry’s messages.
Henry bear: “Hey you. Having a fun night I presume?” - “Ali?” - “Just for inquiry’s sake..is this OUR wedding?” - “Alright I think you’re probably not reading this.” - …
* Knock knock *
Quickly I put down my phone, expecting to see my mom’s head pop around the door of my room. But it wasn’t. 
Seeing who it was, made me wish I could just disappear and let myself be swallowed by my pillows. But I couldn’t. And here he was. Henry’s head poking around the corner of my door, his lips curling in an amused smile.
‘Hello party girl.’ He smirked, stepping inside and apparently carrying a tray with some fresh juice, tea and a bowl of fruit with him. I felt my heart stumble, tumble and roll at the sight of this bear of a man carefully carrying my mom’s dainty tray in his hands, his well rounded bum pushing the door closed behind him. 
I sighed, laying there like a sickly patient in a mountain of propped up pillows. ‘Morning.’ I grumbled. 
His smile grew as he placed the tray on my little writing desk, then sat down next to my hip on the edge of the mattress. ‘Had fun?’ - ‘Mmm..a little too much I’m afraid.’ I sat up a little more, my head immediately starting to protest with loud, dizzying thumps. I groaned. ‘I’m sorry by the way about the text message, I eh…’ I frowned, looking at my phone as it lay there half-hidden between the soft blankets. 
I didn’t even read all his messages.
Henry tweaked up an eyebrow and moved up a hand to brush some of my bed hair out of my face, his finger tips riding over my smooth skin with utmost care and gentleness. ‘Mhm.’ He simply nodded, eyebrow still raised in silent question.
‘We had a bachelorette yesterday, you knew that. But eh.. Loïs, the bride caught air of you and I eh..dating.’ Our eyes met and his blues started to shimmer with happiness, making my heart flutter and fly again. ‘So eh..yea..she..invited you, too? I guess? And then Maddie took my phone and sent that message.’
Henry let out a hearty chuckle. ‘Yea right.’ He winked, then smoothed his face back into a warm smile. ‘I won’t judge you for some cute drunk texting, baby.’ He said.
’Noo..Hen. Really. It was Mads.’
‘Mhm.’ He hummed again, not believing a word of it, his face leaning closer to brush his lips against mine. ‘Ah. Whisky morning breath, my favourite.’ He chuckled.
I blushed fiercely, wishing to roll away from him and hide, but, of course I was too slow and my small frame was instantly caught in the cage of Henry’s large arms. ‘No getting away from me now, bridey.’ He whispered huskily, his mouth eager to lay its claim on me.  
--
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dangan-happy · 3 years
Note
It's Gordon here. Can I ask for Kaede, Peko and Shuichi? I want mikan to have wheelies to escape her feelies (password.)
I'm doing okay, And I wanna say thank you Kaede for the former. However, I fell asleep when I was resting in a car, and when it stopped it kinda roughed me up a liddle bit. So I'm feelin kinda sore on my tail bone. But other than that, I just wanted to say that, and Ask for Some Hugs and Headpats, I have a decently large dog, a Tibetan Mastiff, he's named Mafio, and he's lovely, but, He did jump on me during the Car thing bc he was being taken to my Nan and Granddads place with me. And My legs are kinda weak where he was laying, So I'm kinda having a decently bad time. Can I have some pats for Mafio too? He's been a bit shaken up too
Also I'm going back to school on the 10th and I'm worried about it. Can I get some advice for bullying on the side?
Sorry if this is a bit late on the password change. My time zone is still kinda wonky.
It's nice to meet you, Gordon. I'm sorry to hear that you aren't having a good time right now. Um...of course, you both can have all the hugs and headpats you want.
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As for the bullying, perhaps tell a teacher or someone in charge about it and let them help you. I know that sounds like a bad idea, but it may help you out in the long run. As for your legs and tailbone, maybe try ice for the later and simple exercises for the former to get some strength back.
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I hope things turn out well for you, Gordon. Please tell Mafio I said hello, and I hope you get better soon.
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--------
A-are you sure that is a good idea? Animals aren't very fond of me, so are you certain your dog would allow me to pet him?
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I apologize that I am not able to help you more directly. Still, a violent approach to this would not be wise. While you should not simply endure bullying, I am worried that fighting back would get you in trouble as well. Perhaps it would be best to report your bullies to your teacher or principal. As for your injuries, perhaps take some medicine for pain or rest to get your strength back. I would ask that you take care not to strain yourself while you aren't feeling well.
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I don't mind giving you headpats and hugs, Gordon. Considering my history, I think you would appriciate them more than Mafio, though, please give him a pat for me. I hope you have a good time at school.
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-
Hey Gordon, it’s nice to see you again. You don’t have to thank me, I want to do everything I can to help you out. It’s my pleasure.
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Bullying is really common these days, it confuses me why I never experienced it, I mean…I guess Miu kind of bullies me. Anyway, I would definitely tell a trusted adult, one that you know for sure will actually do something about it. I’m aware of so many adults just passing bullying off as something that isn’t a huge deal.
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Get plenty of rest, don’t strain yourself too much. Legs hurting is one thing, but for your tailbone to be hurting as well, that sounds terrible.
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Hugs and head pats for you and Mafio are coming your way!
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jiminssizzles · 4 years
Text
Track 5: Begin Again
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Summary: Jungkook wanted just ONE tattoo.. ONE. How did he end up with lots?
Pairing: Jungkook x OC 
Genre: Fluff and angst, but FLUFF. :>
Rating: PG
Warning: None, really. :)
Word count: 15.6K+
Author’s Note: My heart swelled after re-reading this. Can I get a Jeon Jungkook too? Kidding!!! :) Thank you to the bestEST artist ever for me, @minyoongail​ for this moodboard! ILY!
Part of my TAYLOR SWIFT MIXTAPE SERIES
Tracklist:
Intro: Story of Us
Track 1: Daylight >> Park Jimin
Track 2: Afterglow >> Min Yoongi
Track 3: I Almost Do >> Kim Taehyung
Interlude: You Are In Love
Track 4: Getaway Car >> Jung Hoseok 
Track 5: Begin Again >> Jeon Jungkook (You’re here!!)
Track 6: _______ >> __________
Track 7: _______ >> __________
Outro:
Previous Track // Next Track
~
Jungkook has been scrolling through his phone for an hour now. Silently admiring the photos he’s been seeing and smiling to himself, thinking really hard if he should just contact this person. “Jungkook, just get a tattoo if you want, instead of staring at that tattoo instagram page for years.” Taehyung chuckled, passing him a snack. He noticed that Jungkook has been on the same page for a time causing him to call him out.
 Jungkook smiled, “I want a small arm tattoo, is that okay?” Taehyung stared at him and called a friend, “Jimin-ah, is it okay for Kook to get a small arm tattoo?” Jimin looked at Jungkook, rushing over to his side and disregarding the food he was eating, “You want a small arm tattoo? What’s the design? Let me see!”
 Jungkook laughed, “Hyung! I don’t have a design yet. Anyway, look at this instagram page. I love the designs and the comments are all saying that the artist helped them design their tattoos that are meaningful to them.” Jimin leaned closer, staring at Jungkook’s phone also, “Yeah, the artist is good. Don’t you want mine? He’s good too.”
 “But look at the works of this one, I feel for it.” He commented, making Jimin smile. “I have to agree. The artist has the same tastes as you. How did you discover the page?” Jungkook leaned back on his chair again, “You know how deep I am in the internet.”
 “Same.” Taehyung said. “And I’m not?” Jimin asked, making the two laugh. “Just send a message, Kook. Use your private account.” Jimin reminded him. “Make sure that the artist is not a trouble or Bang PD-nim will come get you.” He added, making the three of them laugh. 
 Taehyung peeked at the page also, “Are you sure that the artist is not an ARMY? The username says mikrokostosh.” Jungkook nodded, staring at the username, while Jimin and Taehyung started singing “You got me, nan neoleul bomyeo kkum-eul kkwo, I got you, chilheug gatdeon bamdeul sog.” Jungkook just shook his head and started composing a message to the account.
 goldencooky: Annyeong! I’m interested in having you as my tattoo artist! How do we go about this? Do you have a shop that I can visit?
 “Ya, Jungkook, we’re heading out. Do you need anything?” Jimin asked before pulling Taehyung to stand up. Both of them are tasked to do the groceries for the week -- something that the boys don't let go despite the fame. Their hyungs made sure that they do a pretty detailed list weekly, including the brands that they should buy, since only Jin and Yoongi knows what they actually need for cooking anyway.
 Jungkook smiled, “Banana milk!” He said giddily. “That’s already on the list.. written for 7 times.” Jimin said. They waved goodbye to each other before the two left Jungkook’s room. He was about to transfer to his gaming chair when he heard his notification sound.
 mikrokostosh: Hello there. :) Thank you for your interest! I don’t have a shop that you can visit, sorry!
 Jungkook felt his lips form into a pout, quickly typing a reply.
 goldencooky: Oh, then where do you do your art?
mikrokostosh: It’s private. We can meet up somewhere first then I’ll take you to where it is. I’m sorry if I have to meet you in person before anything.
goldencooky: I understand. I’m a private person too. Uhh, how about you recommend where we can meet up? Somewhere not crowded? :)
mikrokostosh: Today? Do you have your design already?
 Jungkook stared ahead of him. He realized that he doesn’t have his design yet, but he trusts the artist’s taste.
 goldencooky: I was browsing through your page and I was hoping you can help me design my tattoo. I swear, I’m good at drawing! We can meet up today.
mikrokostosh: Hahahaha. That’s okay too, but that has an additional fee.. if that’s okay?
goldencooky: Any fee would be fine! :) Where will we meet?
mikrokostosh: I’ll send the address in a bit. Can we meet at around 6 PM? I have personal matters to attend to first.
goldencooky: That would be okay. May I know if you’re a guy?
mikrokostosh: Hahaha. I get that a lot. No, I’m a girl. See you later. :)
 Jungkook leaned on his gaming chair, staring at his phone screen. The artist is a girl, he thought to himself, amazing. He decided to play Overwatch for the meantime, silently waiting for the address to arrive on his inbox. He isn’t usually excited to go outside, except when it’s something that he really wants to do -- and this is one of those.
 Ever since Jimin got a tattoo, Jungkook wanted one for himself too, but since everybody sees him as a baby and he really is younger than Jimin, he opted he’ll just get one when the time is right. When will the time ever be right? He remembered Jimin saying the last time they talked about it. He smiled at how his hyungs always teach him things, and how they always assure him that his own interests are more important than what is expected from him.
 He heard the notification sound of his phone and he quickly grabbed it to check the message.
 mikrokostosh: Do you know the cafe named Magic Shop?
goldencooky: Yes, that is secluded. I’ll see you there?
mikrokostosh: Sure! 6 PM. What’s your name and what will you wear?
goldencooky: You can call me Kook, and I’ll wear an all black outfit.
mikrokostosh: Huh, sounds like Jungkook to me. Hahaha, anyway, see you later! I’ll be the one to approach you.
 Jungkook slightly flinched at the message, thinking that she may be an ARMY after all. He doesn’t find any tinge of regret for messaging her because he trusts ARMYs that much, but he doesn’t like not knowing what’s there to come for him, so he replied again.
 goldencooky: Haha. :) Can I at least know what you will be wearing so I know that it’s you?
mikrokostosh: A dress and shoes.
goldencooky: That’s too specific… hahahahaha
mikrokostosh: A sundress and Timberland boots! Hahaha, sorry.
 He smiled. He smiled because their conversation is very light and it doesn’t feel like he’s just a customer. He feels like he’s talking to an old friend, or maybe that’s just him. He sent one last message of ‘See you later!’ and decided to scroll through the internet and look for ideas on his first tattoo.
 It’s already 5:15 PM and Toshimaru is still in the grocery store, waiting for her turn to pay for the groceries. She scoffed when she saw the time and tapped impatiently on her cart while Euphoria by Jungkook was playing on her earphones. She started stanning BTS eight months ago, but she isn’t a die hard fan and she doesn’t know which of them is her bias. She just knows that she loves Namjoon’s mind, Seokjin’s cooking skills, Yoongi’s music making skills, Hoseok’s dance skills, Jimin’s charming aura, Taehyung’s boxy smile and Jungkook’s…. Jungkook as a whole.
 She usually sees the boys entering the BigHit building every morning. It’s her usual route for an early morning run. She always sees them happily laughing with each other and pushing each other playfully before they enter, making her smile to herself even if she’s alone.
 After she paid for the groceries, she quickly grabbed the box and tried her best to run to her apartment. The grocery store is just a block away from her apartment anyway. Rushing through everything, she arrived at Magic Shop 10 minutes after 6 PM. She heaved a sigh, slightly embarrassed at her client for being late. She already saw a guy wearing an all black outfit through the glass doors before entering.
 Jungkook decided to play on his phone since his artist is not yet in the cafe and he’s getting bored. The cafe is truly secluded, only accommodating two people right now including him. He buys his coffee here too whenever he stays at his own apartment which is why he knows the place. The bell on top of the glass door rang, meaning that someone entered the cafe.
 It’s very windy outside that even the wind chimes inside the cafe rings when someone opens the door. He quickly glanced up and saw a girl wearing a floral sundress and a black Timberland boots. Jungkook is expecting a girl, but he did not expect that she looks this good. He is wearing his all black fit, as he said, a bucket hat and a face mask.
 He stood up upon seeing the girl who caught his eyes. She walked to him and slightly bowed. “Are you Kook? I’m Toshimaru.” She said. Jungkook seems at a loss for words because he just stared at her, his doe eyes slightly wide on top of his face mask.
 Toshimaru stared at him too, her face slightly scrunching, “Jungkook?” She whispered, then her hands were both on her mouth in shock. Jungkook suddenly broke out of his trance and signalled a shhh in his mouth, asking for Toshimaru to sit down.
 “I’m Jungkook. I’m sorry, I got lost in there.” He said. Toshimaru just nodded, “Wait, I think I’m going to be lost too.” She massaged her temples and heaved another sigh. “Are you really Jungkook?” She asked again, trying her best to stay composed and to have words to slip from her mouth.
 She can’t seem to find a comfortable sitting position due to the uneasiness that Jeon Jungkook is sitting in front of her. “I really am, please don’t tell anyone.” He whispered. Toshimaru looked at him again, “I won’t! This is just.. unbelievable.”
 “I think I’m going to break down. I’m sorry, I’ll keep this professional, I swear, just give me a minute.” She said, her insides panicking as she took deep breaths. Jungkook threw his head back, laughing, “You’re funny, and I’m sorry for not informing you beforehand.”
 Toshimaru waved her hands, “No, no, it’s really okay. It’s just that I see you guys almost everyday and now you’re in front of me.” She said, giving him a small smile. Her breathing is even now, and she can finally process what’s happening in front of her.
 Jungkook just stared at her. She has long, straight hair that frames her face beautifully, an exposed tattoo on her collarbone, wrists and left outer thigh and a small frame, but she’s taller than most girls he sees.
 “Everyday?” He asked, his paranoid self jumping out because what if she’s a sasaeng? “Don’t take it the wrong way! My jogging route includes your company building. I saw you guys going in everyday.” She replied, quickly shooting down Jungkook’s worries.
 “Oh, you’re that girl. Rapmon-hyung sees you too. He told us that you smile whenever you see us. I told him he’s delusional.” Jungkook shared, making Toshimaru massage her temples again in embarrassment. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just that you guys are so happy all the time.” She answered.
 “Can we start over?” She asked again. Jungkook just smiled, “Of course.”
 The two of them did start over, from the introductions up to discussing what Jungkook really wants. They agreed to meet the week after at Toshimaru’s place for their first designing session. It took them two hours of talking before they finally came to that agreement.
 “Do you live around here?” Jungkook asked. “Yep, two blocks away from here. The apartment complex.” She answered, pointing at the direction of her home. “Right, I have a place around here too. I’ll contact you through your Instagram Page. See you next week, Toshimaru?”
 “See you next week, Jungkook.” She smiled and they both stood up. Bowing to each other, Toshimaru is the first one to walk away, but Jungkook is quick to grab her arm to face him again, “Can I trust you to keep this as a secret, please?”
 “We’ve been talking for two hours, Jungkook. Of course, your secret is safe with me.” Jungkook’s eyes turned into slits as he smiled. He did not remove his mask the whole time since it’s a public place and Toshimaru fully understood that. “I’ll see you, Kook.”
 Then she continued to walk away.
 ~
 “Where have you been?” Namjoon asked Jungkook when he saw him enter the house. Jungkook removed his shoes and placed it on their shoe rack before going to the living room. “I met my tattoo artist, hyung! Remember the girl that smiles whenever she sees us every morning?” He sat on one of their couches and hugged a pillow.
 “She’s a tattoo artist?! Wow. She’s pretty, Kook.” Namjoon replied, sitting next to Jungkook and turning on the music. Seokjin walked in with a plate of black bean noodles in his hand, “Who’s pretty?” He walked to Jungkook and Jungkook immediately sat up. Seokjin fed him some of the noodles before making his way to his own seat. “Thanks, hyung. Rapmon-hyung is telling me that my tattoo artist is pretty.”
 “Jin-hyung, that girl who jogs everyday, that’s Kook’s tattoo artist.” Namjoon informed Seokjin, making him nod his head. “Yes, that girl is pretty.” Seokjin acknowledged, Jungkook leaned on the couch and smiled at them. “She really is! You have no idea.. I literally stopped on my tracks and just stared at her as I heard the shop bells ringing!” He exclaimed.
 “Ya! Jungkook, isn’t that how you thought you’d meet your soulmate?” Seokjin asked him, laughing at how delusional they got. “Oh right! Yes, hyung! Maybe!” Jungkook smiled again. “I thought you still like Lexi?” Namjoon asked. Jungkook pouted, Namjoon immediately adding, “No one’s here except for us.”
 Only the hyung line knows about Jungkook still liking Lexi. He can’t open to both Jimin and Taehyung because Jimin is close to the two and Taehyung did not approve ever since he told him that he likes Lexi.
 “Honestly, hyung, I like her now in just the normal amount. I think I already accepted that it will always be Taehyung-hyung in her eyes. Besides, I think they’d make a great couple, Taehyung-hyung is just slow.” Jungkook answered, Namjoon tapping his shoulders, “And you matured a lot, kid.” He said to Jungkook. “But I can’t help not thinking if I should still try, you know?”
 Seokjin looked at him, “I don’t know, Kook. Those two, Taehyung and Lexi, I think they’re really going to hit it off as soon as they tell each other how they feel, but I won’t take that chance away from you. You owe it to yourself, kid. You became so giving to all of us.” He tapped Jungkook’s shoulder too before walking to the kitchen to wash his used plate.
 ~
 Jungkook is walking to his apartment to spend the night there. The boys left earlier than him and his apartment is closer to BigHit than their house. He’s already busy with the preparation for his new single on their upcoming album, especially now that he wants to write the song himself. He’s walking with his earphones on when he sees Toshimaru going out of her apartment.
 “Hey,” Jungkook softly said when she walked in front of him. Toshimaru just saw Jungkook, suddenly conscious that she’s only wearing a face mask, hoodie, leggings, socks and slippers. “Hey, why are you here?” She asked. Jungkook opted to walk with her, “I’m going to my apartment. How about you? Where are you going? It’s late.” He asked question after question.
 Jungkook rubbed his nape, “Sorry for those questions. I might sound intruding.” He gave Toshimaru a small smile. “No, no. It’s okay. Since I’ll be responsible for pricking art to your skin, might as well be friends, right?” Jungkook showed his bunny smile unconsciously, “Okay. Sounds good to me.”
 “I’m going to the convenient store. I’m craving for something unhealthy, like maybe ramyeon with cheese?” Toshimaru blurted out, but it sounded more like a question than a statement. Jungkook suddenly remembered the last time he visited the convenience store in the area, “The last time I went to the convenience store here, I was holding on to my banana milk when I saw a hooded girl in the counter asking the staff if they’re sure that they ran out of cheese.” He shared.
 “Oh,” Toshimaru answered and looked away. “That was you?” Jungkook asked, laughing at her. She can’t help but laugh too, “Don’t judge me.” She said. The both of them stood in front of the convenience store, “So, Jungkook, take care on your way.” Toshimaru said, ready to say goodbye.
 “You know what? I’m craving for something unhealthy too. Let’s just eat together?” Jungkook asked. The question came out smooth, but in reality, his insides are fidgeting as this is his first time befriending a girl outside of work and school. “You can’t be seen in public, right?” Toshimaru inquired, making sure that they both don’t wake up tomorrow with a dating scandal.
 “Probably,” he said. “I’ll just take you to my place, then.” Toshimaru said, “Unless it’s okay for you to eat out--” Jungkook waved, “No, we can go to your place.” Toshimaru nodded, walking inside the store, Jungkook following right after.
 The two of them quickly grabbed their spicy ramyeons, cheese and milk, just because Toshimaru likes it and Jungkook told her that he’ll give it a try. They’re already on the counter, slapping each others’ hands on who should pay. Jungkook ended up paying because he grabbed both of Toshimaru’s hands to stop her from giving her cash.
 They were both laughing when they walked out of the convenience store. They were on their way back to Toshimaru’s apartment when Jungkook abruptly stopped, “Do you live alone?” He asked. She just nodded, “Yes. Why?”
 “Nothing. I just realized that I might be invading your privacy.” He said. “No, that’s okay. Didn’t we talk about doing your tattoo at my place anyway?” They continued walking, Jungkook still asking random questions.
 Upon entering Toshimaru’s apartment, Jungkook removed his shoes to leave at the side. “No, no, it’s okay, really.” Toshimaru said, but Jungkook already removed both of his shoes. “Oops, I removed it already.” He smiled and placed his shoes beside the shoe rack.
 He saw a lot of black colored shoes on Toshimaru’s shoe rack. They’re different kinds of shoes, but they are all black. He turned to her, “I’ve never met a girl who has a collection of black shoes like me.” He made his way inside, Toshimaru making him sit on the chair at the kitchen. “Well, are you glad you met me?” She joked.
 “Of course, it’s an honor to have your art on my skin.” He answered. Toshimaru brought out a pot to cook their ramyeon, “We haven’t even started yet.” She went to the living room to get 3 clearbooks and gave them to Jungkook, “Here are some of my works. There are quotes there too, just in case you want them, then we’ll design, okay?”
 Jungkook smiled, “Okay. Are you sure you don’t want me to cook? I’m a master cooker of ramyeon.” He offered before opening the first clearbook. He scanned the pages one by one, the designs are mostly colored with various shading. “I’m okay, and I know you cook ramyeon very well. I watch your shows.” She confessed.
 “Oh, right. Why is your username mikrokostosh?” Jungkook asked, Toshimaru just stared at him. “If it’s too personal, don’t answer.” Jungkook assured, continuing with flipping the pages of Toshimaru’s portfolio. “I was in a very rough phase when you released your Persona album. I found comfort in Mikrokosmos.”
 “I’m happy that our music comforts you.” Jungkook said. “You shouldn’t live alone if you’re in a rough phase, it’s nice to have friends, you know.” He added. “I wasn’t alone before,” Toshimaru whispered. Jungkook looked up at her, taking a break from scanning her works. “But?” He asked.
 “But… pass me the ramyeon packs please.” She answered. Jungkook did not push through with the discussion and passed her the packs instead, helping her by pulling out dishes and utensils that they will use. While Toshimaru is busy stirring the noodles, Jungkook took his time looking around the apartment.
 It’s well-furnished, with different paintings on the walls. One thing caught his attention when he looked at the left side of the living room, “You play? You have a gaming pc! Do you play?” He asked, almost giddy, if he weren’t trying to be subtle. “I do play, but I’m not good.” She replied, placing the noodles on a strainer.
 Jungkook teased her, “I wouldn’t invest on a gaming PC if I am not good, unless you’re super rich! I knew it, you’re super rich.” He concluded, making Toshimaru laugh. “No! I’m not! Shut up.” She answered, splitting the noodles between the two of them.
 “Then let’s play later! When I get home.” Jungkook said. “You’re good at games!” Toshimaru answered, shooting down his idea. “It’s just a friendly game, besides, I only play with Taehyung and I think he has plans for tonight, so.. play Overwatch with me!” He exclaimed, looking like a kid while Toshimaru placed his plate of ramyeon in front of him.
She stared at Jungkook for a good 5 seconds before sitting down, “Okay, Jungkook. But do you have any design ideas on your mind for your tattoo right now?"
 "None yet! My mind is always on work, my members and ARMYs." He replied, eating his ramyeon. Toshimaru opened their milk cartons for the both of them, "Then have a tattoo that says ARMYs, but make it creative." She nonchalantly answered.
 "GOOD IDEA!!" Jungkook exclaimed, raising his thumbs up and smiling like crazy. "I'll think about where I want it tattooed. I want the tattoo to have the members' names though."
 "I'll think of something, Jungkook." She said. The two of them ate in silence -- Jungkook is not talking because he's busy staring at Toshimaru and trying not to get caught, while Toshimaru is not talking because she's busy thinking about what tattoo should she offer to Jungkook.
 "I'll see you next week. Take care on your way home," she said, walking Jungkook out of the door. Jungkook nodded, "Next week, then." Toshimaru just nodded and closed her door.
 She's about to walk back to her living room when she heard a knock on her door. Opening it, she found Jungkook still standing there, "Can I get your number? I don't really spend much time on social media."
 Toshimaru just obliged, giving him her personal number. They said their goodbyes for another round before Jungkook walked back home.
 Deep in the internet, huh, but you don't spend much time on social media, what an excuse. Jungkook's inner self mocked him, making him smile while walking home.
 ~
 Toshimaru opened her eyes suddenly. She glanced at her bedside clock and saw that it's 2 AM already. Shit, she thought to herself. She quickly looked for her phone on her bed when she realized that her earphones are still on her.
 "Jungkook?" She whispered, finally grabbing her phone under a pillow. "Yes? You slept." He said, giggling softly like a baby. "I'm sorry." She apologized, sitting up in a bed and unlocking her phone.
 She saw that the Discord app is still on. The two of them were watching Insidious before she fell asleep. Jungkook was the one streaming the movie and she's just watching from Discord, "It's okay," he softly said. "You should go back to sleep, though." Jungkook added.
 She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes, "Are you playing? Did you finish the movie?" Jungkook gasped, "Oh shit, I died. Yes, I'm playing. I finished the movie with Jimin-hyung. He asked me to sleep in his room, but I refused."
 "Why? Is he scared? Where is Hoseok-oppa?" Toshimaru asked, walking to the kitchen to get herself some water. "Hyung is not really a fan of scary things. Besides, I don't want to leave our voice channel without saying goodbye. Hoseok-hyung's in his own apartment, I think?"
 "And what if I wake up at 6 AM? Not at 2 AM? You'll still wait?" She asked, leaning on the kitchen counter while drinking her water. "Then I'll say goodbye at 6 AM." Jungkook said then laughed.
 "Wait up, I'm going to turn off my PC and transfer to my phone." Jungkook softly said before moving away from his PC, opening the discord app on his phone. Toshimaru walked back to her bed, lying down and waiting for Jungkook to settle on his own.
 It has been a week since they hanged out in her apartment. They did play games that night, which eventually led them to being friends at Discord so they can communicate easier. Jungkook found himself always asking Toshimaru if she wanted to play whenever he gets home from practice, she never refused.
 This night is different from the previous ones, Toshimaru is not in the mood to play games since she is having menstrual cramps, but Jungkook doesn't need to know that. She just opted for a simple, "I can't play games tonight, Kook, I'm not feeling well. I'm just going to binge watch on Netflix."
 She opted for something as simple as that. Unexpectedly, Jungkook replied with, "Then let's just watch together on Discord! I don't want to play games either. What do you want to watch?" He beamed.
 "Something scary." Toshimaru weakly said, feeling the shit of a pain below her stomach. "Insidious!" Jungkook said.
 "I love that movie," she commented. The both of them opened their Discord app-- Jungkook to stream and for Toshimaru to watch with him.
 That's how she ended up sleeping on him, jolting awake from her almost deep slumber when her inner self realized that she's been talking to Jungkook.
 "Let's sleep!" Jungkook said, the sound of his sudden plopping down in bed heard even if she's not there. "Goodnight, Kook." Toshimaru said, almost a whisper.
 "Goodnight, Toshimaru." He answered back. Toshimaru is about to leave the voice channel when Jungkook spoke again, "How about we ask each other a random question once a day?"
 "We don't talk everyday." Toshimaru said. "We've been talking everyday for the last seven days." Jungkook answered, not backing down. "That would have been seven questions already."
 "What do you want to know about me? I'm an open book!" Toshimaru said, earning a laugh from Jungkook. "Have you thought of a design for my ARMY tattoo?" He asked.
 She hummed, "Not yet. I just want it on your hands." She confessed, without saying that she's been looking at his pictures for a while now to check where it will look good. "Good, cause I have an idea and I'll show it to you later after our practice. Goodnight, Toshimaru."
 Toshimaru did not push further, "Goodnight, Kook."
 ~
 “Since you want the ARMY in my hands..” Jungkook started as soon as Toshimaru opened the door of her apartment. “I did not say I want it there, I’m just thinking it would look good there.” She answered, following Jungkook to the living room. He just stared at her, as if thinking if he should change his statement.
 “Whatever, since you want the ARMY in my hands..” He started again, Toshimaru interrupting him, “I did not say--” Jungkook cut her off again, “Hear me out!” He said. The two of them laughed at their silly bantering. Jungkook sat on the couch while Toshimaru went to the kitchen to get some snacks.
 “Fine, talk.” She surrendered, walking towards him while holding out a banana milk to him. “Let’s put ARMY on my knuckles, but make the A an inverted V for V-hyung, RM for Rapmon-hyung and Y for Yoongi-hyung!” He enthusiastically said, like how a little kid points a toy to his mom. “How about the others?” She asked.
 “Let’s just put a letter J on my ring finger for Jin-hyung, J-hope-hyung and Jimin-hyung.” He proudly said while munching on the snacks given to him. “That’s nice! You’re smart,” Toshimaru complimented him, making Jungkook smile shyly. “Too bad I wasn’t in school for long.”
 “Hey, you finished High school, right? And just because you did not finish school doesn’t mean you’re any less smart.” Toshimaru answered, leaning on the couch and staring at Jungkook. “But still..” he’s about to argue again when Toshimaru cut him off, “Shh. I dropped out of college, don’t feel bad for yourself.”
 “Jinjja? Why?” Jungkook asked with more interest that he intended to show. “It’s a secret,” she said, Jungkook snapping his fingers. “Too bad it’s a secret.” He just softly said. She stared at him for a while, quite surprised that he’s not pushing her to share, and quite overwhelmed when she saw the interest on his face when he asked. She hated letting him down.
 “I took an art related course for college, but I dropped out.” She said, but Jungkook just stared at her. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes are already asking why. “It’s just that I feel like the four years would’ve been great already if I started with what I want as soon as possible, so after a year, I told my parents that I want to be a tattoo artist. They supported me through all the workshops and seminars. They even gave me money for my own shop.”
 “Right, about that, where is your shop?” Jungkook asked, still staring at her. Toshimaru felt his gaze still focused on her. She felt conscious all of a sudden, not used to having people or a person so focused on her. “That’s another story, Kook. Maybe next time.” She stood up to throw the empty packs of food they ate.
 “Aw, story time’s over.” Jungkook pouted. Toshimaru made her way to the kitchen because the garbage can is there. “Hey Toshimaru,” Jungkook called. “Yeah?” She saw Jungkook smiling softly and almost proud at her, “That thing you did? Taking a step closer to your dream, that’s really cool.”
 “Thanks, Jungkook, although my relatives didn’t find it ‘cool’. They think being cool is finishing college and landing on a different job.” She threw the empty packs away and went back to the living room, grabbing her digital drawing pad along the way. She sat on her gaming chair, connecting the digital drawing pad on her PC to start drawing Jungkook's wanted design.
 "So what if you're not cool in their eyes? This is your dream and you're living it, just like me, right?" Jungkook giddily said while pulling a chair to sit beside Toshimaru. She finds it endearing that Jungkook always sounds so happy, like he is still a child. She finds it endearing too that whenever she talks, Jungkook's always all-ears, as if they're the only two people existing in the world.
 He was never like that, she thought to herself, a memory of another person clouding her mind. Toshimaru glanced at Jungkook who was now staring at her drawing on her screen, "I'd rather be dead than cool in their eyes." She said to him, making Jungkook nod proudly at her and tap her head.
 ~
 Suddenly, Toshimaru just notices Jungkook everywhere. He’s there on her morning jogs every day, he’s there when she grabs coffee in Magic Shop, he’s there when she goes to the grocery store.. he’s even there on her way home, carrying all the groceries that she bought. It was never like this before.
 Before they met, she only saw Jungkook on her morning jogs. The next time she would see him is on TV or the next morning, but now, he’s just everywhere. “Why did you buy a lot of groceries?” He asked, not even a sign of exhaustion from carrying the load. “My parents are coming over tomorrow, then we leave.” She says, letting Jungkook climb the stairs first before her.
 “Leave? Where are you going? I thought we finished the design already? I thought we can start!” Jungkook whined, instantly thinking about the times wherein they bantered over the design. Toshimaru opened her apartment door for him to enter, “Jeon Jungkook, I told you, we can’t start now. You have practices everyday and we can’t risk infection! Healing might take time too.”
 Jungkook settled the goods on her kitchen table, sat in the dining chair and pouted, “Then can we start when my band gets our 1 month vacation?” Toshimaru started unloading the groceries from the bags and organized them in her cabinets, “When is that?”
 “Two to three weeks from now.” Jungkook said, opening a pack of banana milk and drinking it. “Ya! Did I buy that for you?” Jungkook just nodded to answer her. Toshimaru went back to organizing, “I’ll be back by then. I’ll call you the minute I land in the airport, if you’re that eager.”
 “Where are you going anyway?” He pressed further into the subject. “Tokyo. I have to meet someone there.” She answered while Jungkook just stared at her. “Jinjja? Wait, I know you. I think we’ve met.” Jungkook said, Toshimaru getting lost in their conversation.
 “Huh?” She faced him, Jungkook trying his best not to smile. “You’re Mitsuha, right?” He joked, referencing Kimi No Nawa which is one of his favorite films. Toshimaru quickly catched up, “You’re Taki-kun?” She joked too, making the both of them laugh.
 “I’m going to meet my cousin, silly, he’s getting married.”
 ~
 When Toshimaru went to Tokyo, she did not give updates to Jungkook and so did he. Toshimaru thinks she doesn’t need to update on her whereabouts, while Jungkook thinks he should contact her for casual talk, but he did not do that also. All he ever did was practice, go home, play, sleep and repeat.
 It’s the last night of August and he decided to stop playing for a while because he has this habit of checking who will greet him at 00:00 on his birthday. It has been his Jimin-hyung for years now, even if he greets at 12:03 AM. At 11:59 PM, he’s already scrolling through twitter and reading through ARMYs’ birthday greetings for him even before D-Day.
 He heard one of his watches beep when the clock striked 00:00. He stood up and decided to do his nightly routine first, just for the element of surprise on who will greet him first. After his nightly routine before bed, he grabbed his phone and sat on the edge of his bed.
 [12:00 AM] Toshimaru: Happy birthday to my newest client and everyday bug. You’ll reach even greater heights in this life, Kook! Have a blessed day. Enjoy it! I’ll just give you one free small tattoo, ight? :)
[12:03 AM] Jimin-hyung: Happy birthday, JJK Best boy!!  
 Jungkook found himself smiling. Why? He doesn’t know too, but this feels refreshing for him.
 ~
 He decided to go home to his family in Busan and spend a week with them before he gets inked up. He already made plans, but Jimin just had to call him and Hoseok to come over his place in Busan, which the two gladly obliged. At first, Jungkook and Hoseok are both willing to stay there, until Jimin made them wait for almost half a day for him.
 While they were waiting, Hoseok fell asleep on the couch. He decided to just send a message to Toshimaru, thinking that it won’t do any harm, right?
Jungkook: What’s up?
Toshimaru: What’s up? Haha that’s random
Jungkook: I’m in Busan right now and Jimin-hyung decided to make us wait forever for him
Toshimaru: Forever? Hahaha you’re overdramatic, kook. Oh right, it’s your vacation now. What have you been up to while I'm away?
Jungkook: Just thinking about ways on how can I enter your apartment to get all the banana milk you left there
Toshimaru: You’re so rich and you want to break into my apartment for supplies? Millionaire mindset. [insert meme picture]
Jungkook: I’ve also designed some other tattoos that I want in my arm.
Toshimaru: Arm? I thought you’re just going for the hand.
Jungkook: Can’t I have more? :(
Toshimaru: You can! It’s your skin anyway. I’m just your artist.
Jungkook: Yep, my artist and my friend and my most amazing person
Toshimaru: What? [insert meme]
Jungkook: I mean, I look up to you. You’re cool and smart and good at life. Why do you have a lot of memes? Hahaha
 Toshimaru stared at her phone screen for a while, finally letting out that breath that hitched when she read Jungkook’s ‘my most amazing person’ message. She pushed out her thoughts that maybe she has a chance with Jungkook. She’s not even in denial that she likes him, especially after she became an ARMY earlier this year. It’s just different now that she knows him on a deeper level than just seeing him on stage or in her TV screen or phone screen -- and she doesn’t know if that’s scary or fulfilling. She’s only sure of one thing and that is Jungkook feels like a breath of fresh air after being in prison for years.
 Toshimaru: I have a lot more memes on my phone than my PC and LOL you’re getting bored, Jungkook. [insert meme]
Jungkook: Are you like the meme queen or something AND I’m not bored! Haha, let’s play?
Toshimaru: Mobile only, kook [insert meme]
Jungkook: I’ll take it, ma’am. [insert Jungkook’s poker face selfie picture]
 Toshimaru smiled upon seeing the picture, but Jungkook didn’t know that.
 When Jimin arrives, Jungkook is already done playing with Toshimaru who told him that she’s off to do some errands while Hoseok is already awake. After successfully tackling Jimin to the ground by making them wait and eating dinner cooked by Jimin’s mom, the three of them decided to drink.
 “Well, for one, she doesn’t know BTS, but she knows the song Euphoria.” Jimin looked at Jungkook and mocked him. “This maknae gets everyone!!” He ranted. “But really, she doesn’t know BTS. I like it.. I mean, I like that she treats me normally. I miss that feeling. That feeling that people just treat me as Jimin. I only get that when I’m here at home, that’s why I’m always longing for home. It feels like I don’t need to put my walls up, and I can just be myself.”
 “So you like her?” Jungkook asked, completely curious on how this thing called love works. “On the first day of meeting her?!” Jimin jokingly raised his voice, “You don’t decide that you like someone on the first day, Kook!” He added.
 “Ya! You never decide on these things, you just feel it.” Hoseok interrupted them. “I’m telling you, guys. The time you’ve known her doesn’t matter, let alone the way she treats you. If you like her, you like her.” Hoseok added, making Jungkook think how much he liked Lexi before slowly learning how to let her go. 
 He just smiled at the thought, silently congratulating himself for having progress. He knows that he talked about trying to take a chance on Lexi again with his hyungs, but a part of him is also saying that since day one, he already lost to Taehyung. For now, he’s just leaving it to destiny. If ever the chance of getting her comes, he’ll take it, if it doesn’t, then he’ll just let it go.
 Jungkook tapped Hoseok’s shoulder to praise him, “Woooow. That’s really deep, Hobi-hyung! Too bad, I’m only excited right now for the tattoos I’m planning to ink on my arm!” He said, but it sounded like he’s convincing himself, not his hyungs.
 “If that’s the case, Hobi-hyung, maybe I like her.” Jimin sighed. Hoseok tapped his shoulder, telling him comforting words. “If it’s meant to be, Jimin, then you have nothing to worry about.” He said. “Same to you, Jungkook.”
 “What? I’m not interested in anyone right now!” Jungkook defended, making Hoseok and Jimin laugh. Jungkook immediately changed the subject because he doesn’t want to talk about Lexi with Jimin since they’re close.
 “Jimin-hyung, I thought you’re travelling around the world during this break?” Jungkook asked, Hoseok agreeing with him. Jimin just stared at the stars, “Right, I need to cancel those.” He said. Hoseok’s eyes widened, “For a girl? Yaa, Jimin-ssi!” 
 “What if she’s THE girl and I lose her for travelling around the world when I can do that later in life?” He pointed out. Jungkook just laughed and looked at the stars too, “Cancelling Russia, Hawaii and Paris? Whipped,” he commented.
 Hoseok nodded, “I agree. Whipped.”
 ~
 Jungkook woke up on his own bed in Busan. They did not spend much time in Jimin’s house since Jimin already told them that he’s going to be busy. He hugged the pillow beside him as he intends to sleep more when he heard his door open. “Kook, breakfast!” His older brother said, pulling his pillow away from him along with his blanket.
 “Hyung, it’s too early..” Jungkook mumbled, making his older brother pull him up. “Come on, Kook! I even cooked breakfast because we miss you here.” Jungkook smiled at him and nodded, “Fine, fine. Let’s go, hyung.” He got out of bed and grabbed his phone. He jokingly latched on to his older brother to show how much he missed him.
 Eating a meal with his family always gives him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. He loves it when they are complete because he rarely spends his time here in Busan anymore. Halfway through his meal, he heard his phone notification sound. Who will send him a message this early? He thought. It’s their work break so he doubts it’s from the company.
 Toshimaru: I’m back in Seoul.
Toshimaru: [insert picture of a meme looking lost with a caption ‘What now?’]
 Jungkook laughed at the photo. One thing he finds funny about Toshimaru is she has a meme for everything which always makes him giggle like a kid. “Eomma,” Jungkook called his mother, “May I invite a friend over?”
 His mother looked at him, quite surprised. They know that Jungkook is an introvert and he rarely invites any of his friends over. “Sure, Jungkook! Why are you asking?” Jungkook looked at his plate and rubbed his nape, “Because she’s a girl.. is that okay?” He asked again. His older brother tapped his shoulder, “Is it Lexi?”
 “What? No, hyung!” He playfully smacked his brother’s arm, earning a laugh from the other one. “I thought you finally made a move on her.” Jungkook tapped his brother’s mouth, “Shush! Eomma and Appa don’t listen to him!”
 Jungkook’s family loves teasing him because they always miss the baby in the house. Seeing Jungkook mature away from them gave them mixed emotions, but they are sure proud of their Jungkook. “Ya! Stop that boys!” Their mother going between them before the bantering turned into a playful wrestling. “Who are you inviting over, Kook?”
 “My tattoo artist, Toshimaru.”
 ~
 Toshimaru slipped her hands on her gloves, Jungkook already sitting on a comfortable chair and just staring at everything she’s doing. How did Jungkook convince her to come to Busan? She doesn’t know. All she knows is she arrived in Seoul yesterday and upon messaging Jungkook that she’s back, the boy offered her to have another vacation in Busan.
 She didn’t mind because she doesn’t have commitments in Seoul at the moment. She just started minding when she realized that the house is Jungkook’s own family house instead of some random vacation spot in Busan. She wasn’t prepared to meet his family, but she did. She wasn’t prepared to sleep in Jungkook’s bed while the boy slept on the floor, but she did.
 She frowned at Jungkook while she prepared her equipment to start his tattoo. “Stop frowning at me! I’ll pay you extra for coming all the way here.” He said. Toshimaru suddenly smiled, as if mocking him, then frowned again, “It’s embarrassing to your family! Let’s start.” She softly said. Jungkook slightly pushed her hand away, “Will it hurt?”
 “Yes, it will. I thought you have a high pain tolerance?” She inquired. “I have. I just want to know if it will hurt.” Jungkook pouted and gave her his hand again. “You can start now.” Toshimaru just nodded and started attaching the tip of the needle on his skin.
 Jungkook winced, “Hey. Relax.” Toshimaru cooed. “I was shocked, but go on.” He said. Toshimaru trained her eyes again on Jungkook’s hand, continuing with her work. Jungkook stared at her. He finds it relaxing whenever he stares at her. He can’t help but stare on her perfect eyebrows, her long lashes, her small, cute nose that he likes to boop, her plushy cheeks and her full lips.
 He just finds her beautiful, that’s all.
 “Why are you not talking? Talk to me if you feel anything.” Toshimaru said, oblivious to Jungkook’s stares. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?” Jungkook asked. The question is not meant to intrude, but Toshimaru considers her relationships a really personal thing to ask about. It didn’t escape Jungkook’s eyes that she suddenly stopped working when she heard the question. After a few seconds, she attached the tip of the needle again on his skin.
 She quickly shot the question back to him, “Hm. Have you had a girlfriend?” Jungkook shook his head, “I’ve had one before debut, but I think it’s nothing serious. Then I never had anyone after.” Toshimaru nodded, “Why? You’re a famous idol, a good guy, a good-looking guy, actually. I thought you only hide your girlfriends to your fans.”
 He chuckled, “Judgmental! No, I don’t really have a girlfriend. I mean, I like someone, but I think she really likes Taehyung-hyung.” He shared. Toshimaru gave him a small smile, “Lexi?” She asked. Taehyung and Lexi’s bestfriend relationship was never a secret to the public. In fact, Taehyung is really supportive to her when it comes to her games, thus, everyone knows about them.
 Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows, “That’s a secret! You can’t tell anyone about my crush.” She just nodded and went back to work, “I won’t! Aren’t they together? Is it really just friendship?” She asked. Jungkook is now staring at the tattoo on her collarbone, “They always tell us that it’s just friendship, but I don’t know. Lexi likes hyung, I’m sure. Meanwhile, Taehyung-hyung once stopped me from asking her out. So I guess they like each other but are too dumb to admit it to themselves. With that, I just learned to control my feelings and not push too hard. I like her a normal amount.”
 Zzzzzzzzz, the sound of the tattoo gun is the only thing heard in the room after that. Toshimaru felt a slight twist on her stomach, thinking about how can a chance with Jungkook slide into her mind from time to time when he likes someone who’s also meant to be known to the world? She suddenly felt small, thinking that Jungkook has high standards when it comes to a girl.
 She did not look at Jungkook after that, only continuing her work. Jungkook noticed the silence and gently nudged her, “Hey, did I say something wrong?” He asked. Toshimaru decided to let him in a little more, “I’ve had a boyfriend. We broke up almost a year ago, that’s why I was in a rough phase when I discovered BTS.”
 Tight-lipped, Jungkook only listened to her as she started the letter M on his knuckle. “When I dropped out of college, I already told you this part, my parents funded my workshops and training to be a tattoo artist. They even gave me money to buy a place for my own shop, but I was younger, and dumber, and in love that time.. so that’s the story why I have an apartment.” Jungkook formed an O in his mouth, connecting the dots as to why she’s alone in there.
 “So this boyfriend.. he’s the one living with you before?” He inquired, curiosity evident in his voice. “Yup. He was living with me until we fought at around 2:30 in the morning, he stormed out of the apartment and never came back.” Jungkook didn’t press on the subject further, but this is the first time that Toshimaru is talking about her failed relationship. She continued talking without even bothering to look if Jungkook is still listening, even though he is.
 “He’s a really great guy. When we started our relationship, he really had eyes only for me. He’s a fellow art student, and when I dropped out, I felt like that made him feel superior to me. He knows about my dream of being a successful tattoo artist, heck, I don’t even want to be famous, I just want to be successful in doing what I love. He supported me, but whenever I’m in a slump, he has these pep talks that imply how dumb am I in making the decision of chasing after a dream that will never happen. It started when we’re already living together. He told me to be realistic, and that my dream is far-fetched.” She stated, pausing for a little while.
 “I’m glad you didn’t stop chasing after it.” Jungkook softly said. Toshimaru looked up and saw Jungkook’s small smile. “I’m glad I didn’t. I thought the two of us would learn to work around our differences, but as time goes by, it became the cause of our fall out. He didn’t like anything that I wanted. I share things happily with him only to be shot down.”
 “Like being passionate about something only to be mocked for it?” Jungkook clarified, Toshimaru nodded and sighed. “Good riddance, then. You don’t need a man that weighs you down. You deserve to spread your wings and fly.” Jungkook comforted her. “Don’t cry over spilled milk, Toshimaru. That’s what Jin-hyung always tells me.” He shared.
 Toshimaru looked at him, “And what if it’s banana milk?” She joked. Jungkook scrunched his face and showed her his bunny smile, “Then that’s the only time I’ll cry.” He giggled which made her laugh too. Jungkook is really slowly, but surely, lighting up something inside her chest, and she’s not even sure if she can avoid it, or if she wants to avoid it.
 ~
 A day after they got back to Seoul, Jungkook woke Toshimaru up by calling her phone non-stop. She scrambled on her bed, half-annoyed on who’s calling her at this ungodly hour, “What?” Jungkook looked at his phone, he heard the annoyance in Toshimaru’s voice, but didn’t mind it, “Good morning! Are you tired of living alone?”
 “If it means no one’s going to wake me up at 6 AM in the morning.. on a Sunday, I’d be glad to live alone. Why?” She answered, her eyes slowly closing again as she went back to bed. “Nothing, just open the door.” Toshimaru sighed, “You’re here already?” She slowly got out of bed, although annoyed, her heart is still betraying her for pounding hard on her chest just by knowing that Jungkook is the first person she’ll see today.
 When she opened the door, she saw Jungkook wearing an all black sweater and sweatpants. Nothing new, her mind said, but what caught her eyes is what Jungkook is holding. “Jungkook..” she said, almost a whisper.
 She suddenly remembered their drive back to Seoul. The two of them stopped by a secluded cafe, Toshimaru telling Jungkook that she’ll be the one to order and Jungkook can just wait in the car. Jungkook saw her come out of the cafe holding a paper bag that contains their snacks and drinks. On the way back to the car, Toshimaru caught sight of a Golden Retriever in front of her. The dog is following his owner to the cafe. Jungkook did not miss the smile that formed on her face upon the sight of the dog. When she opened the car door, Toshimaru quickly pointed at the Golden Retriever and the owner. “Look, Jungkook! I want one. I’ll buy one soon!”
 Now, Jungkook’s holding one. “Is she yours?” Toshimaru said, almost pouting at the cuteness of the puppy that Jungkook is holding. “Come in! I’m sorry.” She said, opening the door wider for them to go inside. “Yep, she’s mine!” Jungkook proudly said, a big smile on his face.
 “May I hold her?” Toshimaru asked. Jungkook carefully passed her the puppy, “Of course, Toshimaru. She’s yours too.” She looked at him, wide-eyed. “What?”
 “You said you wanted one, right? A girl, to be exact. I wanted one too and I live with my hyungs and you live alone so.. you get to keep her, alright?” Jungkook rubbed his nape, speaking shyly while Toshimaru’s eyes started to well up with tears.
 She hugged Jungkook and cried on his shoulder. “Why are you crying?” He asked. “Because you pay attention.” Toshimaru answered, doing her best to hold back her sobs.
 “Why wouldn’t I pay attention?”
 ~
 Seokjin is slurping on his black bean noodles while watching Jungkook play Overwatch. “You gave her what?” Seokjin asked Jungkook. “I said, I gave her a dog.. well, not exactly given, because the dog is ours.. but you get it, hyung.” He answered without sparing a glance at Seokjin, his eyes fully focused on the game.
 “I get it, Kook! I mean, do you like her?” Seokjin asked the younger boy. Jungkook shook his head, “No, hyung, we’re friends. I don’t want her to be sad.” Seokjin wanted to tap sense into Jungkook, thinking that he doesn’t realize these feelings because it’s his first time. “Okay, Kook, but have you seen Lexi and Taehyung buying a dog for them?”
 “No, but did you see them both caring for Yeontan?” Jungkook shot back, “That’s friendship.” He proudly said. “But we know they like each other! Taehyung is blind to know that!” Seokjin pointed out. He was about to say something to prove his point further but the door opened and Jimin introduced Eunice to them. The introduction was quick since Jungkook already met Eunice and Seokjin is busy eating.
 When the door closed, Seokjin looked at Jungkook again. “What can you say for yourself, Kook?” Jungkook raised his eyebrow, still focused on the game, “About what? Meggie or Eunice?” He asked. “Who’s Meggie?” Seokjin asked in confusion. “Meggie is my dog and Toshimaru’s.”
 Seokjin palmed his face, “Fine. About Meggie. Are you still going to deny that you actually like Toshimaru?” Jungkook won the game so he finally looked at Seokjin, “Hyung, I don’t. We’re just friends. You know I like Lexi.”
 “Or maybe, your mind is just used to liking Lexi, but your heart is recognizing a new girl that you actually like.” Seokjin stated. He doesn’t know how to get through Jungkook’s heart to realize what he really wants. He knows Jungkook will never say ‘I love you’ first, but actually buying something for a girl just because she likes it?
 Who was he kidding? Jungkook doesn’t even pay for his meals!
 ~
 Days after Jungkook gave Toshimaru the puppy, he always pops out of nowhere in her apartment. He always says that it’s for visiting Meggie, but he also tells Toshimaru that he wants another tattoo. His once just an ARMY and J tattooed  hand turned like a sketchbook for other dainty tattoos surrounding it. There are also dainty tattoos on Jungkook’s arm now, just because he always says that he enjoys the feeling and it’s addicting for him.
 The simple hanging out sessions with Jungkook while he’s on vacation turned into all day binge watching movies and series at Toshimaru’s place. The once simple ‘Let’s play one game’ of Jungkook turned into him leaving his gaming laptop at Toshimaru’s place. The ‘Why are you always here for dinner?’ of Toshimaru to Jungkook turned into ‘Are you going to eat here? Tell me now so I’ll know if I’ll cook for two’. The harmless all day binge watching turned into cuddle sessions too.
 Jungkook doesn’t notice whenever Toshimaru looks up to him with adoration while his eyes are glued to the TV screen. Toshimaru doesn’t notice whenever Jungkook’s lips form a tiny smile whenever her head lies on his chest. They don’t notice the little glances they threw at each other whether they’re having fun outside or they’re just doing the bare minimums.
 Toshimaru bought a big bed for Meggie, thinking that she would get bigger as she grows older. The last message she got from Jungkook is that he’s playing with Seokjin which is why she did not send more messages. She knows how Jungkook gets serious in games. She’s already laying in her bed, her eyes are at Meggie who’s in her new dog bed, but is also staring back at her.
 It’s as if the puppy is saying that she wants to be with her. Ever since Jungkook brought her, she always sleeps with her on her bed. This might feel new to Meggie so Toshimaru caved. She sighed and stood up from her bed, “Come here, baby.” She whispered, Meggie immediately running to her. She smiled when Meggie settled beside her, realizing how she fell in love with the puppy at first sight.
 Having Meggie with her made her heart full, as if having her own daughter. For the second time in months, she found another reason why she’s not alone at all. The first reason was Jungkook.
 ~
 Few days passed after that night, Toshimaru did her best to not notice it, but Jungkook was not visiting lately. She went out with Meggie on a leash to buy tattoo supplies on her trusted store because she got a new client to work with. It’s already late in the afternoon so even if Jungkook wasn’t coming by lately, she still opted to send him a message.
 Toshimaru: Might grab dinner outside. Just saying in case you’re coming over to eat.
 Jungkook saw the message as he was lounging on Lexi’s couch. Ever since the night he saw Lexi and Taehyung’s argument about Taehyung’s behavior just to get to Tzuyu, he’s been accompanying Lexi everyday. Lexi didn’t ask for it, but Jungkook just felt the need to be there for her, even drinking with her after her Taehyung situation.
 He sighed and quickly glanced at Lexi who’s cooking their dinner. Jungkook just felt the need to be with Lexi as he was through the years whenever she and Taehyung have fights, but he can’t deny that he misses Toshimaru. He misses the quiet moments spent cuddling as if the world outside doesn’t exist.
 Jungkook doesn’t know what to call it. He doesn’t know that that’s what contentment feels like, because everything is new and foreign to him. He quickly typed a reply to Toshimaru.
 Jungkook: I’m not coming over tonight. Take care with Meggie. :)
 Toshimaru frowned at his reply, not wanting to overstep any boundaries even if she’s itching to ask him about why he is not showing himself lately. She knows she doesn’t have the right, so she just pushed her phone inside the back pocket of her pants. She felt it vibrate again, multiple times actually.
 Jungkook: I miss you and Meggie.
Jungkook: Lexi just needs me right now. She’s not on good terms with Taehyung-hyung right now and I’m her next closest friend.
 Toshimaru sighed. She looked at Meggie who seems to have no problems in this world and the baby talked to her, “Guess you’re a daughter of just two friends, baby.” The realization hit her harder than it should, but maybe she needed the confirmation so her hopes can just be shot down. She typed a reply to Jungkook, one that she wouldn’t want to be brave, but she did.
 Toshimaru: Oh, you still have feelings for her, right? Go get her, bunbun. :)
 It was Jungkook’s turn to sigh and bite his lower lip. Gods, he wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that he still has feelings for Lexi, but it’s not sitting right on his chest. As if saying that would break, burn and end this thing going on with Toshimaru. Both of them are oblivious to the others’ feelings.
 Jungkook: I’ll see what I can do, Tosh.
 End this, Toshimaru’s inner goddess said. She entered the tattoo supplies shop, bought items for her new client and bought something for herself too. For the first time in years, she wanted to retouch the tattoo of roses and vines on her right arm.
 She wanted to add thorns.
 ~
 On days that Lexi has training, Jungkook spends his time in his own room, contemplating if he should go to Toshimaru’s place. He doesn’t know why he is feeling weird, like something’s wrong and he’s doing something wrong. He caved and messaged her, even if he feels like she’s avoiding him.
 Jungkook: What are you up to today?
Toshimaru: Just drawing and taking customer inquiries.
Jungkook: You have new clients?
Toshimaru: I just answer questions. I have one confirmed though.
Jungkook: Are you going to do the tattoo in your apartment?
Toshimaru: No, I’ll go to his apartment.
Jungkook: A guy??????
 Jungkook realized that he unconsciously typed too many question marks on his last reply, but he couldn’t take it back. There’s just something triggering him whenever he thinks about Toshimaru having other guys in her apartment.
 Toshimaru: Yep. You’re not my only guy client, Jungkook.
 That reply made him bite his lip.
 Jungkook: May I come over? I have a fan meeting later, but I want to see Meggie.
Toshimaru: Sure, she’s your dog too, you know.
 Toshimaru sighed at her reply. Until when will she act as if this is not affecting her, as if Jungkook is just like all of his clients, as if they hadn’t spent days cuddling and ogling each other, as if they weren’t that close, as if he didn’t make a mark in her heart.
 It didn’t take long before Toshimaru heard a knock on her door. She’s lying on her couch, Meggie asleep in her arms. She just said, “Come in!” and closed her eyes again. Meggie jumped out from her arm and ran to Jungkook. She doesn’t need to look at them to know that Jungkook’s already busy hugging Meggie.
 She heard him say, “Hello Meggie baby, I miss youuu…” Jungkook walked over to Toshimaru with Meggie in his arms and sat on the floor so his face is at the same level as hers on the couch. “Hi,” he softly said. Toshimaru just stared at him, stopping her tears from falling, but she failed.
 “Why are you crying?” Jungkook asked, but Toshimaru did not answer. She wanted to tell him how much she misses him and how dare he just come back as if he did not ignore her for days. She wanted to tell him everything she felt while he was busy trying to get his girl.
 She wanted to tell him that she fell for him, even if she knows he didn’t.
 The tears kept streaming down her face which made Jungkook panic, letting go of Meggie gently on the floor and holding on to Toshimaru’s arm. “Fuck, you’re so hot.” Jungkook said, “I mean, your body is literally hot.” He touched Toshimaru’s forehead, “Why didn’t you tell me you’re sick? Your fever is high!”
 Jungkook went to the kitchen to grab a basin and put warm water in it. He also grabbed a towel so he could dab the hot water on Toshimaru’s skin. He ran back to her and started gently dabbing the warm towel on her face, “Did you eat already?” Toshimaru just nodded. Jungkook removed the stray hair on her face, “Is this why you’re crying? Is your head hurting? Where does it hurt?”
 “Just in my head, Kook. Don’t worry.” She answered, even if the pain is really on her chest. She just wanted Jungkook to stop acting as if he cares so much, when in reality, he’ll drop her the moment he gets an opportunity to get his dream girl. She just wants him to stop.
 Jungkook grabbed her right arm next, ready to clean her arms. “You added thorns to your tattoo.” He said. “I did.” Jungkook tilted his head slightly and gently dabbed the towel there, “Why? You said you didn’t like thorns because it hurts you.”
 Toshimaru just smiled, “Pain is part of life, Kook.” Jungkook smiled at her, “When did you become that deep?” He asked, finishing the cleaning of her arms and wrapping her with a blanket. “I’ll cook something for you so you can drink your medicine. Just sleep there.” He instructed, glancing at his watch. “I don’t have to leave for 2 hours more. I can stay with you, Tosh.”
 She just nodded and stared at him as he walked to the kitchen, “I’m going to stay at my sister’s place for a while, Kook.” Jungkook looked back at her as he was trying to reach something on her cupboard, “Where? Ilsan?” He replied, which made Toshimaru’s heart clench even more. It hurts how much he pays attention and remembers every little thing, and it’s not for her to indulge in.
 “Yes, there. 2 to 3 weeks, maybe?” She answered. Jungkook nodded and pulled out a pot to cook ramen, “In a few days, we’ll be going to New Zealand too for Bon Voyage.” He shared. “Oh, may I take Meggie with me to Ilsan?” She asked, Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. “Of course, she’s yours too, why do you ask?”
 “I don’t know. I just asked because you might want to take her away some time.” Jungkook slightly shook his head, “I bought her so she can be with you, and I like seeing the two of you together. It makes me happy.” He said.
 Toshimaru stared at him for a long while. Is Jungkook even aware that the words he says are affecting her this much? Is he saying it on purpose? She decided to turn her back on him and close her eyes. She can already smell the ramen that he’s cooking, but she tries to ignore it, ignore him.
 ~
  All seven of them are in the living room. Yoongi always tells them about this girl that he met online, but no one really believed him because he never showed pictures or even met up with someone -- except Jimin. Jimin was the only one who defended Yoongi from all the teasing and bantering regarding his imaginary girlfriend.. or girl friend.
 This is why after the encounter in the fan meeting, and after Gail walked out of the venue, Jimin was the one who made arrangements with the girls to meet them at Bangtan's dorm.
 "Is her name really Gail?" Yoongi asked Jimin. Jimin nodded, "That's what Eunice calls her, so I guess?" Taehyung sat upright and asked Yoongi with wide eyes, "You don't even know her real name? Ugh, hyung, this is too much.."
 "I know her name is Abby! I didn't know it was Abbygail." Yoongi mumbled. "Who told you it's Abbygail?" Jin asked. "No one. I just feel like it's Abbygail." 
 Jungkook facepalmed on Yoongi's answer, "I just don't know how you managed to love, is that what it is? Love?" Yoongi nodded. Jungkook continued, "--Love each other all these years without actually meeting up, or knowing each other on a personal level, or actually making these things easier for the two of you."
 When Jungkook mentioned love, his mind immediately wandered back to Toshimaru who’s alone and sick in her apartment right now. He can think about her at the most random moment and still be endeared by her. He thought about how much he knows about her even if they’re just hanging out for more than a month. He thought about how much he opened up to her even if she didn’t ask just because she’s giving him a feeling of security.
 The door suddenly opened, revealing Eunice and Lexi holding on to Gail. Jungkook caught sight of Lexi, his eyes full of endearment landed on her, which did not escape Jimin’s eyes. Jimin thought that after all this time, Jungkook is still that whipped for Lexi. He doesn’t know that Jungkook’s already thinking about Toshimaru.
 Jungkook is still in denial, though. He’s in denial because even though he left Lexi, Jimin and Eunice after cooking dinner and went over to Toshimaru’s place, he doesn’t know that he’s already in love.
 Even if he almost dashed to Toshimaru that night just to check if she’s okay, he still didn’t realize. Even after he slept with her that night, hugging her tight just because she’s so cold and he doesn’t know how many blankets he should wrap around her for her to stop being cold, he still didn’t realize.
 ~
 Toshimaru went to Ilsan the same week that Bangtan went to New Zealand. The last message that Jungkook got from Toshimaru is a picture of Meggie enjoying the breeze from the open car window on the ride to Toshimaru’s sister’s house, followed by a ‘Signal is not really great at my sister’s house, so I can’t send Meggie updates to you, Kook. Enjoy New Zealand!’
 It was okay for Jungkook at first, but as the days passed in New Zealand, he has this uneasy feeling of not knowing what is happening to Toshimaru at all. Don’t get him wrong, he is really enjoying this Bon Voyage trip and he’s so excited as they’re already on their way to the swing. With this, even if Toshimaru’s not replying, he still sends her pictures of what he sees in New Zealand, even taking pictures of the dogs they encounter there and joking about how Meggie will grow bigger than them.
 Dinner time came and Jungkook still can’t stop talking about the swing, knowing that he was the one who loves extreme activities like that. “I really love how that felt, especially the catapult!” He said while hopping beside Taehyung, “Yes! I felt so scared while falling but I also felt happiness in it, like the excitement will never end!”
 Jimin sat in the middle of them, “That’s how the catapult felt? Well then it’s okay that I didn’t try it, that’s how I feel with Eunice anyway.” Jimin said with a smug smile while Taehyung and Jungkook just stared at him, “What? That’s really how it feels! When you guys start to feel that whenever you’re with someone, then you’re done for, you’re in love.”
 Jungkook stared at Jimin, then on his plate. “That’s how it feels, hyung?” He asked Jimin. The other boy nodded and took a spoonful of his dinner. Taehyung stood up and took his phone. Both Jimin and Jungkook stared at him, “Maybe he’s calling Lexi?” Jimin suggested. Jungkook just shrugged and looked at Jimin.
 Jungkook pondered on Jimin’s words and came to a conclusion. He likes Toshimaru. He doesn’t know when it started, but now he’s sure that he likes her.
 ~
 The boys got back to Seoul safely after the Bon Voyage trip. They entered the house and found Gail waiting for them, Yoongi immediately went to her for a hug. It was the first time in years that they got back from an overseas trip and they didn’t find Lexi waiting for them at home.
 Taehyung slumped a little too hard on his seat in the dining area. With a frown on his face, he can’t help but stare at Yoongi who’s still busy annoying Gail to death just because he missed her. “At least she still makes your burgers.” Taehyung heard Jungkook say before he sat on his seat. Taehyung gave Jungkook a small smile and stared at the food in front of him, “I don’t know how long I can hold this, Kook. I feel like I should see her now.”
 “Then why don’t you just go to her. Stop hiding from each other. I’m tired.” Jungkook said teasingly. He can now say that freely, now that he knows that he already likes someone else. Jimin sat on Taehyung’s other side, “Yeah, just go. I’m tired too.” Taehyung just nodded and grabbed his own car keys before dashing out of the front door.
 Jimin moved to Taehyung’s seat beside Jungkook, “You okay?” He asked. Jungkook nodded, “Yep.” Jimin tapped Jungkook’s shoulder, “You sure? You like her, right?” The younger one just gave him a small smile, “Hyung, we can’t go in between soulmates. They just really gravitate back to each other, no matter what the circumstances are.”
 “Lexi -- she’s just easy to talk to, you know? I feel like she understands me, but maybe they understand each other more. Don’t worry, hyung. I’m okay. They’re our friends.” Jungkook said, looking at the others who just sat on the chairs of the dining table.
 “Jungkook-ssi, I hope you attract someone who speaks your own language so you don’t spend your whole life translating your soul.” Jimin gave him another tap on the shoulders before returning to his seat.
 With what Jimin said, Jungkook’s mind wandered back to all the game nights he spent with Toshimaru, all those online shopping for black shoes of different variations just because they can never get enough, all those promises of they’re going to eat healthy only to settle for processed foods for dinner, all those little moments wherein he doesn’t talk much, but Toshimaru already knows what to say or do to make him smile.
 And if soulmates really gravitate back to each other? Then no wonder she’s everywhere and she’s everything in his eyes.
 Yoongi, Gail, Namjoon and Jimin already started eating. Seokjin entered the dining room with a frown on his face and started eating his dinner too. “Kook, why aren’t you eating?” Seokjin asked, the others looking at Jungkook because he’s usually the first one to dig in.
 “Hyung, I think I love her.” Jungkook softly said. Yoongi looked at him, confusion etched on his face, “Who? Jungkook, you just saw Taehyung going after Le--”
 “Toshimaru. I love her.” Jungkook cut Yoongi off, making Seokjin clap his hands. “About fucking time you admit that to yourself, Jeon Jungkook!” Namjoon’s jaw dropped, “Your artist?!”
 Jungkook nodded and showed them his bunny smile, “The one living in the same neighborhood as Gail?” Yoongi asked, Jungkook nodded too. “She lives near me?” Gail asked, making Jungkook nod too. 
 “Then go tell her.” Gail suddenly said. Jungkook pouted and looked away from them, “Ya! Jeon Jungkook, don’t tell me that this is still about your you can’t say I love you first. You gotta man up!” Jimin commented.
 “But hyung, I really can’t say I love you first… it’s… just… I don’t know how?” Jungkook confessed. Seokjin came to his rescue, “Yeorubun, he can’t say I love you first, but he spends all of his time at Toshimaru’s apartment, asked her to go to Busan and spend the vacation with him, cuddles with her, updates her with everything, and for god’s sake, he even bought a dog for her just because she feels alone. Guys, this kid doesn’t even pay for his own meals and doesn’t come out of his room often. What does his actions say about him?”
 “Wow.” Gail said, “If I was the girl, I’d be damned if I don’t fall for you, Kook.” She said, considering all of Seokjin’s strong points. Yoongi jokingly pushed Gail, “Then go fall for him.” Gail looked at Yoongi, “Are you sure?” She asked, but Yoongi pulled her to a hug, “I’m kidding, baby.”
 Jimin looked at the two with disgust, “Elllkk-- so sweet.” Namjoon tapped him, “You just miss Eunice, don’t you know that the two of you are sweeter than them?” Jimin nodded, “Yeah, I know that.” He laughed softly and turned to Jungkook, “Do you think she likes you too?”
 “I don’t know.” Jungkook rubbed his nape. “Gail is a girl and she already said that she’d be damned if she’s the girl and she doesn’t have feelings for you.” Seokjin stated.
 “I know, hyung. Thanks for that, Gail-noona, but she’s not replying to me right now.”
 ~
 It was a Sunday and Jungkook is just on his bed, staring at his ceiling. He was pouting because he read from their group chat that Eunice came back to Korea yesterday and surprised Jimin last night. He also read that Yoongi is taking Gail out for dinner later that night too. He sighed, thinking when will Toshimaru come back because she hasn’t sent him messages ever since.
 Jungkook just moved when he heard his phone notification. He opened the message and read that it’s from Yoongi.
 Yoongi-hyung: Does your Toshimaru have tattoos on her collarbone and right arm?
 Jungkook sat up and typed a quick reply to Yoongi.
 Jungkook: Hyung! Yes!! Why?
Yoongi-hyung: Does she wear sundresses and boots with it?
Jungkook: Yes, hyung!! Why????
Yoongi-hyung: Nothing. Just asking.
Jungkook: Hyung. :(
Yoongi-hyung: Haha, just messing with you, kid.
Yoongi-hyung: Gail might have seen her at Magic Shop when she bought our breakfast, just wanna let you know, Kook.
 Jungkook never moved that fast in his life. He quickly got to his car to drive to Toshimaru’s apartment only to find it still locked. He fished for his phone in his pocket and dialled Toshimaru’s number.
 On the third ring, Toshimaru rejected the call. Jungkook let out a huff of disappointment. He was about to put his phone back in his pocket when he saw a message from Toshimaru.
 Toshimaru: Got a client right now. Be back in a few days.
 Jungkook went home disappointed that day.
 ~
 With the overflowing love coming from his hyungs and their partners, Jungkook can’t help but sulk in the corner whenever they talk about it. He was always the one who asks innocent questions as he’s just working his way into his own relationship. On the day that they got back from practice only to see Eunice and Lexi working out while Gail is busy with Yoongi’s equipment, he realized that he wants to go out of the house.
 He opted to go with Namjoon and Hoseok to buy groceries. Without Yoongi and Jin, they just bought the basics and the ingredients that they usually use in the house. Jungkook was busy getting his supply of banana milk when a girl suddenly talked beside him, “I was hoping that you’ll leave even just one pack.” She said. Jungkook hid his pout as he wanted all of the last five in the rack before giving one to the girl. “Toshimaru?” He said, his smile forming immediately before willingly giving the banana milk to her.
 “I was just joking. I know you love your banana milk and I saw you so I thought I’d say hi.” She returned the banana milk that Jungkook handed to her. Jungkook smiled widely, “Then, hi to you too. I’ll be back at your tattoo parlor before you know it.” The tattoo parlor became an inside joke to them since Toshimaru doesn’t really have one. Toshimaru winked at him, “I’ll be counting on that. See you around!” She walked away after that.
 He stopped functioning the moment he saw her which is why he walked back to his hyungs. The feeling inside of him slowly subsiding as his inner self asked him why did he walk away. “Should we buy our supply for our weekend trip too?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook answered quickly, “Hyung, I saw Toshimaru. She’s here. May I go after her and leave the groceries to you?”
 Namjoon smiled, “Why do you even ask? Go!”
 ~
 Jungkook knocked on her apartment door. Toshimaru opened it immediately and to her surprise, Jungkook hugged her first instead of Meggie. “I miss you,” Jungkook said then coughed, “..and Meggie too!” He added then quickly kneeled to pet their puppy.
 Toshimaru just smiled and thought about what her unnie said to her, “Just let him make the first move. If he confesses that he has feelings for you, then that’s great for you, and if he doesn’t and you started to like somebody else, then move on with your life.” After her Ilsan trip, she decided to just go with the flow with Jungkook.
 Even if she’s truly, madly, deeply in love with him.
 “Did you eat already? I’ll cook for us.” Toshimaru said, Jungkook nodding almost immediately. “Yes, yes. I’d like that!” He said, Toshimaru noticing that he’s too giddy. “What’s up with you? Why are you so happy?”
 “Nothing! I’m just happy.” Jungkook said, making his way to the kitchen while carrying Meggie. “How was your Ilsan trip?” He asked. “Fun, I missed my sister so much. Sorry for not informing you that I’m back with Meggie, my new client won’t stop bugging me so I had to go to him the moment I got back.”
 “Is he bad?” Jungkook asked, a slight pang of jealousy rising in his chest. “No, he’s okay. Just eager to get a tattoo, like you.” Toshimaru answered. “Well, is he handsome?” Toshimaru nodded at Jungkook’s question too.
 “Well, is he…” Jungkook tried to add. “Jungkook, he’s a whole lot similar to you, but I’ll choose you.” She said. Was that a confession? Jungkook’s mind went haywire, not knowing what to say back to her.
 “I want another tattoo.” He said. Toshimaru looked at him, “What do you like?” Jungkook went to get her bag of equipment, “I want the ‘Rather dead than cool’ phrase in my arm.”
 “Why?” She asked, leaning at the kitchen counter, crossing her arms. “Because it’s you.” Jungkook answered, his eyes full of admiration for her. Toshimaru did not push on the subject further. She’s not even sure if she heard and understood Jungkook right.
 “Did you ever think about us?” Jungkook asked. The question made Toshimaru flinch while she’s pulling her equipment out, “No.. Why would I do that? You like Lexi, right?”
 Jungkook was about to answer when his phone rang. He picked it up and Toshimaru waved him off, telling him to go answer his phone. Jungkook went to the apartment balcony just to be out of Toshimaru’s earshot.
 “Jin-hyung! I was about to confess!” Jungkook said upon answering Seokjin’s call. “Oh shit, I’m sorry, Kook! It’s just that you told me to call you as soon as I get back in the house with Rianne.”
 Jungkook beamed, “You’re back already? Okay, hyung! I’ll be home.. later.” Seokjin laughed, “Don’t rush. Her body clock is messed up anyway. I’m sure when you get back here, she’s still awake. And Kook!” Jungkook answered, “What?” Seokjin laughed, “Stay safe.” Then he ended the call.
 ~
 Jungkook didn’t get to confess that night. With the mood already broken and Toshimaru insisting that they binge watch Studio Ghibli movies, the thought of confessing slipped out of Jungkook’s mind.
 “I want to cuddle,” He said out of the blue, pulling Toshimaru to a hug as they settle on her couch that they formed into a bed. “When did you become this clingy?” She asked. “I just got into thinking and I just wanted to do this.” Jungkook just smiled at her.
 He didn’t notice that they fell asleep there. He woke up in the middle of the night to find her still sleeping but facing the other side, so he pulled her closer and hugged her tighter. If this is how the rest of his nights will be with her, then he would gladly take it for the rest of his life.
 Jungkook asked Toshimaru if she wanted to go with them to Seokjin’s rest house that weekend. She politely rejected his offer as she already got 2 tattoo appointments for the weekend, which are both waiting for her since she stayed for a while in Ilsan.
 Weekend came and Jungkook did not stop messaging her, sending her constant updates and laughing at the memes that Toshimaru sends to him. Toshimaru just stops messaging him whenever she’s with a client.
 Night time comes and Toshimaru knows that Jungkook is already drinking with the rest of the gang which made her send a short goodnight message to Jungkook. She slept early that night, thinking that Jungkook would be safe, sound and happy with his hyungs.
 It was 5 AM in the morning when she heard a knock on her door, jolting her awake because who would come to her apartment at this hour? When she opened the door, she found Jungkook with his head down. He smells like alcohol, but she can tell that he’s sober. Jungkook quickly pulled her into a hug and sobbed on her shoulder.
 “What, Jungkook? Why are you crying?” She pulled him inside and rubbed his back while Jungkook cried on her shoulder. “Tosh, she died..” Jungkook whispered. “Who died?” She asked.
 Jungkook looked at her, his face stricken with tears which she was quick to wipe away. “Who?” She asked again. Jungkook sobbed, his breathing already heavy, “Hobi-hyung’s girlfriend… Maine-unnie, she died in a car accident.. Everyone is so sad right now, and I can’t add up to the negativity.. Whenever my hyungs are sad, it’s harder for me.” He’s sobbing badly now, looking like a baby that wants nothing but affection.
 Toshimaru pulled him to the couch and hugged him again, thinking about how much she appreciates Jungkook being openly vulnerable to her. Seeing him cry like this makes her heart hurt, but it also makes her love him even more, now knowing how much he cares for his hyungs. “I’m sorry if I’m crying like this to you. My head is spinning and I can’t think of anyone else, but you.”
 “Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. You can sleep here if you’re tired.” She answered, the words ‘I love you’ itching to come out from her mouth, but she never said that. Jungkook’s sobs are slowly coming to a stop, “Thank you, Toshimaru. You’re my safe haven from all the hustle and bustle of the world, and I can never ask for more.”
 The sobbing stopped and Toshimaru found Jungkook already asleep while his head was buried in her neck. She hugged him tighter and sighed, “I’m just going to love you more now that your heart is tired, Jungkook.”
 ~
 A month passed and Jungkook did his best to cheer up his Hobi-hyung again. Toshimaru fully understood his situation, not pushing him to visit her and Meggie more often, besides, they still haven’t established the label of their relationship.
 She admits that she loves everything that Jungkook does. She always thought that she already saw the peak of Jungkook’s care, only to be surprised the next day when he decided to show her more of him. Jungkook never fails to tell her how wonderful she is in his eyes, Toshimaru always not knowing what to say. If she could have the chance again to confess, she would definitely say the L word first. She doesn’t care anymore if she’s just misinterpreting Jungkook’s actions. She just wants Jungkook and his hyungs to be okay first because with what they’re going through, she wants them to solve it first. 
 Jungkook and Hoseok were left alone in the dorm that day. Jungkook is busy cooking ramen while Hoseok just sat on the kitchen counter, staring somewhere far away. It has been a month since he lost the love of his life.
 Bangtan did not get it easy. They spent weeks trying to get Hoseok to eat healthily again, trying to make him smile again, trying to make him talk again. They tried making him do those unnecessary sound effects again, but he doesn’t, and he didn’t want to. It seems like life left him too.
 “Jungkook,” Hoseok suddenly said. Jungkook immediately looked up, “Yes, hyung?” They have always been so careful with their words around Hoseok, especially if they’re going to talk about something that reminds him of Maine, which is also the reason why Hoseok never heard about Toshimaru.
 “Do you remember my favorite movie?” Hoseok asked. Jungkook just nodded, “If only, hyung?” He put a bowl of ramen in front of Hoseok so he could eat. “Let’s eat dinner, hyung.” He said, sitting next to him.
 “That was the first movie Charmaine and I watched. She even asked me if I know that the girl is going to die in a car crash.” Hoseok smiled bitterly, “It sucks, Jungkook. I learned from that movie that we should love the ones that are important to us as much as we can. Where did I go wrong for her to be gone so suddenly?”
 Jungkook stood up from his seat and hugged Hoseok, “Hyung..” Hoseok’s tears fell again, “Don’t worry about me now, Jungkook. I just have unanswered questions, but I accepted it already. Even if Maine did not live long enough, at least, she won’t have to feel restless everyday anymore. I love her too much to question her decisions, and if she can’t hold on to life anymore, then it must’ve been painful for her. I just love her so much, Kook, it hurts.”
 Hoseok pulled away from the hug, “So when you start to love, give it your all, alright?” He said. Jungkook just nodded, thinking about Toshimaru, “I’m here for you, hyung.”
 “I know, Jungkook.” Jungkook just smiled at him and rubbed his shoulders again. “Eat your dinner, hyung, or I’ll feed you.” He said, making Hoseok slightly smile at him.
 ~
 That night, Jungkook left as soon as he finished dinner with Hoseok. He quickly got to his car and drove to Toshimaru’s apartment. He was so eager to tell her how he feels because if not now, then when? He even thought about Seokjin telling him that he has been very giving to his hyung and he owes it to himself to get what he wants.
 This is what he wants and she is who he loves.
 He excitedly knocked on her door, Toshimaru opening it immediately, as if expecting that he’d come.
 “Hi,” she said. Jungkook cupped her face and kissed her lips softly, then proceeded to pepper her soft kisses around her face. Jungkook opened his eyes and saw Toshimaru's shocked but smiling face, “What?” Jungkook asked. “I’m taking us to the next step,” Jungkook said.
 Toshimaru nodded, “Mm-hmm, I can see that..” Jungkook showed her his bunny smile, “Move in with me.” He whispered while he press his forehead against hers, “Move in with you?” Toshimaru clarified. She held onto Jungkook’s hands that were cupping her face, “What if we fight? And you decided you don’t want to live with me anymore?” She asked.
 “We’ll never make the same mistakes as your past.” Jungkook said, earning a pout from Toshimaru. She felt her heart swell with happiness, even if Jungkook is still not saying anything about loving her. Jungkook pulled her to a tight hug and whispered in her ear, “I need another tattoo, Toshimaru.”
 “What tattoo?” She asked. Jungkook kissed the top of her head, her cheeks, her ear, the side of her head, “I don’t care how much I need to pay you for a tiger lily flower.” Toshimaru scrunched her face, “A tiger lily? Why? Is it that important?” She asked again.
 Jungkook just smiled, “What? Why are you smiling like that? What’s the meaning?” Toshimaru asked again, confused at Jungkook’s actions. First, he asks her to move in with him, next, he asks her for a tattoo? Weird, but alright.
 “Please love me.” Jungkook said. Toshimaru flashed a smile that made her eyes disappear, “But Kook, I already love you.” She confessed. Jungkook laughed, feeling butterflies in his stomach for the first time, “I love you too, my Toshimaru.”
 Jungkook kissed her again on her lips, but he can’t help but laugh. “Why are you laughing?” Toshimaru asked. “Tiger lily means ‘please love me’.. I just didn’t know that you’ll confess first,” He confessed, making Toshimaru slap his arm. “But that didn’t change anything! I love you! I love you so much!!” Jungkook almost shouted when Toshimaru walked away from him.
 “I love you too, bubby.” Toshimaru answered. “Bubby?” Jungkook asked, looking confused. “Bunny and baby, bubby.” Toshimaru informed him. Jungkook picked her up and settled her on his lap while he sat on the couch, hugging her waist, “Wow, I’ve got a smart girl.”
 “Why do you think Meggie’s name is Meggie?” She bragged. “Well, why is her name Meggie?” Jungkook asked. “It’s me and you. Me and Googie.” She said. Jungkook laughed at their childishness. Toshimaru swiped the stray hair on Jungkook’s face and sighed, “I love you, really.”
 “I’m glad we finally confessed.” Jungkook said. Toshimaru gigled, “Took us long enough.”
 “I don’t want to waste any more time by not showing you how much I love you.. and if anything goes wrong, we’ll always make it right.” Jungkook said, nuzzling his nose to her cheek. “I promise you that, Toshimaru. I love you, my soulmate, even if the bells I heard when I met you was from the wind chimes of the cafe.”
 Toshimaru smiled at him, doing her best so her eyes were not welling up with tears. It’s fun, she thought. It’s fun that love isn’t really just about breaking, burning and ending. It feels good hearing Jungkook promise her that.
 It’s both calming and promising, as she watched the biggest plot twist of her life finally happening. It made her happy that she’s finally ready to try again and it’s for someone who’s worth it. The endless holding back, the innocent stares, the endless cuddles and the innocent messages finally paying off.
 With Jungkook already by her side, she watched it begin again.
~
published 05.04.20. 10:12PM
57 notes · View notes
yyxgin · 3 years
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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3
admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.
thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?
also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.
im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!
also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.
gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨
ilyl ~ 🌻
thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you 
HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes
aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd
oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.
why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??
ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!! 
YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing
ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!! 
ily <333
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aheartfullofjolllly · 3 years
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Heyy there! It's your 🦉! Sorry for the delayed ask, got caught up with life (life sucks!) for a bit 😅 But now I'm back to bug you again! The last answer you gave. ohhfjyshfb!! I'll be lying if I say that I didn’t get emotional while reading all those beautiful points you stated about LWJ! I love that man so much! (Also, I see you also adore my beautiful baby Yibo which is, YAAAS!🔥 That boy is a gift to this planet — both for his looks and character — I adore him. Same goes for Xiao. — (1)
Yizhan shipper much?👀 I know I am! 😂) Anyway, as for my answer... Who do I love other than "Wangxian" (who obviously, owns my heart and soul). I think it's probably Jiang. He is my disaster boi and he has such a complicated character. He is always in a battle with himself and that boy, just needs THERAPY! Again as this ask is getting too long, I will end it with a question. Have you listened to the CQL ost album? If you did, which song is your favourite? 👀 hope you are doing well!! 💙💙 —(2)
Hellooo 🦉! Don’t worry about it! (it does indeed hahahuhu) 😁 Ugh Yibo. Idek what to do with him anymore. He’s too amazing for my health hahaha. We are so blessed to have him and Xiao Zhan. And all the glorious, glorious content we’ve been getting lately. WE WERE STARVED BUT NOW WE ARE ABUNDANTLY FED. PRAISE! Hahahahaha. I don’t actively ship them but I enjoy seeing yizhan posts (with the occasional fangirling) on my dash. I also love seeing my friends so happy shipping them. 💖💖💖 
OH DEAR. I just want to bundle up Jiang Cheng and like, haul him to therapy and force feed him love and affection until his forehead creases smoothen!!! I want him to heal and be happy and finally get his family back. I want him to reconcile with his insecurities and finally, I want him to never doubt that he is loved. 😭 I have a lot of Jiang Cheng feelings, bye. Hahahaha. 
Hahahaha. My Spotify year review ranked Chinese Drama OST as my Top 5 most listened genre. There was a time I would only listen to the OST on repeat. As for my favourite, let’s leave Wu Ji out of it because like, no contest that’s my fave. Hahaha. So apart from all the versions of Wu Ji, I have listened to Qing He Jue the most. GOD. THE CHORUS. SLAPS. SO HARD. I LOVE THAT SONG. (I am a die hard Nie stan 👌). This was, of course, largely influenced by that video of Wang Yizhou and Ji Li singing it on live stream and I d i e d from laughing so much and like, from all my love for them. Then I think Yi Nan Ping comes a close second because of all my Yunmeng feels. Hahahaha. 
What’s your fave song in the album? 💕
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All is Fair: Ch 11
Hi, Y’all!  Thank you for being so patient and not giving up on this fic even though I have been egregiously late with updates. At best, my life is erratically populated with periods of leisure time and periods of hectic, soul-crushing work. I, like many of you, am in the midst of a forced period of leisure time, so you will probably see more frequent updates. I appreciate those of you who are willing to stick around to see what happens next, and I hope you are in good health. Tell me what you think! x
Discovery and Dissolution
Polly Gray sat in her Bentley, wrapped in fur. Through her dark glasses, she watched the scene on the street where Lia worked. The bitter north wind cut straight down the sidewalk in front of the library and sent patrons scurrying for shelter within. A cluster of people shuffled through the arched brass doors, and Lia stepped out. She was a vision in a blue cashmere long coat, a mink collar clutched around her neck. The wind caused her coat to flap and play peek-a-boo with leather boots that stretched up to her knees. Both items were gifts from Tommy, Polly surmised. She noticed that Lia still wore an older pair of wool gloves. Guess he couldn’t think of everything.
 Despite the cold, Lia wore a little smile as she walked along. She’d been hard at work referencing and cross-referencing research with a professor of Art History at the University of Birmingham, and he was pleased with the help she’d given him. He had mentioned working with her again in the near future. Lia had come a long way from shelving books. She was beginning to realize the kind of life she had only dreamed was possible when she first came to Birmingham.  As she neared the corner, though, she was pulled out of her thoughts when she noticed familiar-looking woman in a posh car was watching her.
 Polly lowered her window and called out, “Lia, Lia Montrose!”
 Lia slowed down and warily approached the car. Polly extended a sumptuously gloved hand, looked over her sunglasses at Lia, and introduced herself, “Polly Gray…Tommy’s Aunt Polly.”
 Lia visibly relaxed and took her hand at those words, “Mrs. Gray…I’m pleased to meet you.”
 “Get in, it’s time we got acquainted.”
 In a matter of minutes, Lia found herself sitting in the kitchen at No. 6 Watery Lane while Polly found two cups and put the kettle on. She then reached into the cupboard where she found a tin of tea. Upon opening it and sniffing the contents, she decided that it would do. Decked head to toe in Parisian tailor-made garments, she looked odd moving around the kitchen with such familiarity.
 While they waited for the kettle to boil, she offered Lia a cigarette and lit one of her own. They’d spoken hardly a word since they entered the house. Lia was loathe to break the silence with small talk, so she waited for Polly to say what was on her mind. They sat, smoking and soaking in the dusty quiet of the dimly lit room.
 Only when Polly poured the tea did she finally speak. “I brought you here so that you could see where Tommy lived...where we all lived before the money came.”
 Lia looked all around the room and smiled, “So this is where Tommy began.”
 Polly waved her hand with a flourish and laughed, “Who knows where Tommy began. If I hadn’t witnessed his birth I’d swear that he was flung out of heaven and barred from hell.”
 Lia smiled knowingly, “Well, Lucifer was a fallen angel.”
 “Exactly.” Polly raised an eyebrow and leaned back in the rickety chair. “I want you to understand why Tommy is,” she searched for the right words and finding none she continued, “the way he is.”
 Memories flooded Polly’s mind as she looked all around herself, gesturing here and there with the hand that held her cigarette. “Look around you, Lia. This is where we moved when things got better. You don’t want to know where we lived before when things were worse.”
 Lia swallowed hard and held her cup with both hands as if to draw every bit of heat out of it. She was suddenly cold. She had not grown up with much, but she was certainly comfortable. Her home had a lightness about it. The room where she sat with Polly was cozy, homey even, but the air was laced with soot and traces of despair.
 “Does that explain why he is so driven?” Lia wondered aloud.
 “Partly,” Polly mused. Then she looked at Lia with soft brown eyes, almost like she sympathized with her. She felt sorry for anyone who loved Tommy, even herself. “He has always been different. Clever and driven since the night he was born.” Then she looked away, “But he did have a big heart.”
 Did.
 It wasn’t Polly’s intention to make Lia uncomfortable or uncertain of her place in Tommy’s life, but Lia couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated. Lia’s chair creaked as she shifted her weight and sat her teacup on the table, and Polly saw in her eyes a vulnerability that hadn’t been there before.
 “We all had to make sacrifices to get where we are today, but Tommy has sacrificed the most. Business comes first. Always. Ada says that Tommy likes you, he may even grow to care for you, but there are certain things you will have to accept if you want to be with him...”
 “So he has said,” Lia broke in. She immediately regretted cutting Tommy’s aunt off, though Polly showed no sign of being offended. She just sipped her tea and smiled.
 “Has he said what he plans on doing with you when he returns to London, Dear?”
 Lia winced a bit at the question. “No.”
 There was silence between them again. A clock ticked out the seconds from the next room and the sounds of people shouting to each other in the street filtered through the walls. Having finished her tea, Polly lit another cigarette and let the quiet grow around them. She believed that you could learn a lot about a person by how they chose to deal with spaces in conversation, so she waited and watched.
 Lia ruminated on Polly’s last question as long as she could, then stood and looked toward the parlor, silently asking permission to go in.  Polly rose and accompanied her. Dusty furniture and photographs sat frozen in time as if they were waiting for Polly to run the sweeper or Ada to polish the tabletops. The fireplace sat waiting to be lit. But she couldn’t see Tommy until she looked up the shadowy stairwell. It was narrow, and she could barely see the top stair in the darkness, but something in the woodsy smell that drifted down reminded her of him. Polly caught the wistful expression on Lia’s face and placed her hand on Lia’s back.
 “His room was up there,” Polly nodded.
 Polly peered into the darkness and flipped a switch, then nodded in the direction of the stairs, inviting Lia to climb them.
   ***
 The sleek grey Bentley rolled along Cannon Lane and splashed slush in its wake. Lia sat in back with a heavy woolen blanket wrapped around her legs. She made small talk with Rodney, the Blinder up front. Already, she knew that he had a fiancé and that they were to be married in June. His mum and dad were from Coventry, and they were both deceased. Also, Tommy had taken him under his wing as a boy of thirteen. Tommy kept him from starving and from, as Rodney put it, “…falling in with the worst sort of criminal element.” It seemed like everywhere she turned there was another person with a story about what Tommy had done to help them.
 Rodney delivered her to her door, and eager to get out of the cold, Lia darted inside.
  “Jenny, are you here?”
 A few snowflakes floated to the floor while she hung up her coat and unbuttoned her mink lined gloves. She noticed that the kettle was on, and so she called out again.
 “Jenny!”
 Her cousin bounded down the stairs, pulling her arms through the sleeves of a cardigan as she came.
 “Jesus, Lia!” she laughed. “Is the bloody house on fire?”
 “I have news,” Lia beamed.
 Jenny nodded her head and set about fixing tea, “Go on then. Tell me your news.”
 “WE have the use of a car.”
 Jenny froze and her heart sank. “Come again…”
 “A car, Jenny! Tommy doesn’t like the idea of my riding the bus and walking to work, so he is sending a car ‘round for us every morning and afternoon. One of his men will drive us to and from work,” she enthused.
 Jenny stood blinking at her for a moment then responded in a monotone voice. “A Blinder, Lia. ‘One of his men’ means a Blinder. I’d rather walk in the rain and snow.”
 She turned her back to Lia and got out the plates, careful not to take her simmering mood out on the crockery. She tried her best to keep her distrust of Tommy out of her relationship with her cousin, but it was hard to keep things light when every other word out of Lia’s mouth was “Tommy”.
 Jenny had taken quite a bit of flack at work because of Lia’s connection with Tommy Shelby. She’d had her fill with entering rooms full of chatter only to have them go silent, and she had dodged several sideways comments about her recent promotion. She hated to kill the mood, but someone had to be the voice of reason. Rolling up to work chauffeured by a flat cap wearing thug was more than she could tolerate.
 Lia balled her fists and tried to modulate her voice as she asked, “Why do you hate him so much? Hmm? He is good to me and he wants to help you too.”
 “Help? Is that what he calls it?” Jenny turned back around and eyed Lia’s obviously new and obviously bought by Tommy clothes. “If you want to play house with him and let him dress you up as his little doll that’s your business, but I won’t be ferried around town in a car that was paid for with blood money.”
 “That’s not fair, and you know it. Our family weren’t always saints. Granddad was the first one in the queue to spunk away his wages on the horses and the last one out of the pub at night.”
 “Right, and it was people like the Shelbys who were more than happy to take his wages off of him while Nan and our dads went shoeless.”
 She had a point. Lia hated the fact that she had a point. Damn Jenny for always knowing how to snatch the stars from her eyes. Lia sat down and put her head in her hands to hide her tears. It was so easy to let Tommy do little things for her, to buy a scarf here and some gloves there, to make life easier for her in a thousand little ways. He never made her feel like it was payment for services rendered. How could Jenny take all of Tommy’s kindness and turn it into something dirty, something tainted and wrong? The gifts and the thoughtful things he did for her were not part of a transaction, they were just part of the way he liked to take care of her. She wished that for once Jenny could see the goodness in Tommy.
 Since Aunt Polly had shown her the house and the betting shop where Tommy had launched his empire, she had a deeper understanding of him. Since she’d stood in his tiny bedroom where he had wrestled with the echoes of the tunnels and sweated through nightmares of poverty and war, she saw him through different eyes. She had grown to tolerate his last-minute cancellations and welcome him without pouting when he’d kept her waiting half the night.
 Polly had opened her eyes to the man behind the façade in a way that he could never do himself. With that understanding, she opened herself up to the possibility of a life with Tommy. No, nothing about what happened between them was mercenary. Tommy just took care of people in his life. She was used to Jenny acting like an older sister and alerting her to pitfalls she had overlooked, but this was too much. The tears of frustration and despair that she had hidden behind her hands were becoming tears of rage. Over and over Jenny had proven that she wouldn’t ever approve of her relationship with Tommy, and Lia was finished with seeking her cousin’s approval.
 She wiped her eyes and spoke through gritted teeth, “You know, Tommy has offered to let me stay in one of his properties near the library. Maybe it’s time to take him up on that offer. I’d hate for my reputation as the Shelby whore to rub off on you.”
 Jenny put down the knife she’d been using to slice the bread. “Calm down. I didn’t say that…”
 “But that is what you meant.” Her words came out clipped and cold. “I don’t want my reputation for sleeping with the Gangster of Parliament to ruin your chances with some nice mid-level clerk, so I’ll just move out.”
 “No…don’t! I’m just worried about you. You are like my little sister and I’m afraid you’re riding for a fall. What happens when this is over?”
 Lia abruptly stood and lashed out at Jenny, “Over?” Lia growled.
 The word struck a chord of fear in Lia that made her dizzy. In an instant, all of her nights with Tommy, the taste of his sweat, the feel of his mouth, the smell of his sheets, flashed through her mind. She turned that fear into rage and took a step toward Jenny as she shouted, “I love him! That’s enough for me! Why can’t it enough for you?”
 It was true. She loved him so much that it hurt. Her face was red and blotchy and her chest heaved with every breath. She was tired of fighting Jenny at every turn, and at that moment all she wanted was Tommy’s arms around her.  She needed him so badly that she felt like she would fly into a million pieces without him holding her together.
 Jenny took a step backward and bumped into the kitchen counter. Lia looked truly deranged. A realization came over Jenny like a wave. Lia was a different person now— a person who turned a blind eye to the ugly side of her man and made excuses for his shortcomings. It had been happening gradually over the last few months; the absent-minded dreamer that she had grown up with had disappeared. Back then, no matter how far out Lia got Jenny was always the voice of reason who could reel her back in, but Lia wasn’t listening to her anymore. This was different.
 There seemed to be no turning back. Jenny knew that she had already said too much, but couldn’t resist a parting shot as she headed for the stairs. “Love? How can you love him when the only things you have in common are each other?”
 Even as Jenny said it, she wondered if it was true.
  ***
   Tommy and Arthur were sitting opposite each other at Tommy’s desk in their shirtsleeves talking about horses. Arthur had put too many logs on the fire and the room was like an oven. It was past the close of business and they should have been heading home, but they had lately taken to staying for drinks a couple of nights a week. Arthur would tell stories about Billy and the chickens, and Tommy had even opened up a bit about Lia. Arthur was cursing the heat and rolling up his sleeves when they heard someone pounding at the door.
 “You expecting company?” Arthur asked in his rough, whiskey soaked Brum.
 Tommy ran the tip of his tongue along his teeth and shook his head, “No.”
 They stood and Arthur made his way toward the door, his hand on his pistol.
 “Who’s there?” he boomed.
 A muffled voice called, “Lia Montrose. I need to see Tom…Mr. Shelby.”
 Arthur turned in his brother’s direction and feigned seriousness. ”Shall we let her in, Tommy?”
 Tommy rolled his eyes and huffed, “Open the fookin’ door; it’s freezing out there.”
 Lia entered the building shaking snow from her disheveled hair and stamping the slush from her boots. Her cheeks were pink from the cold and her eyes were a bit watery from the wind. She imagined that she looked a fright, but Arthur thought she looked like an angel.
 Arthur stood there looking her up and down while she tried not to gawp at the pistol hanging loosely under his arm until Tommy cleared his throat and began to make introductions.
 “Lia, this is my brother Arthur. Arthur, Lia Montrose.”
 Arthur straightened up and offered to take her coat. As he hung it on the rack, he smiled a bit too broadly and said, “Tommy has told me a lot of nice things about you.”
 Tommy knew that something was wrong because he and Lia hadn’t planned on seeing each other until the weekend. After a few pleasantries, Tommy stared at Arthur until he made his excuses and left.
 Chills shook her body; she was shaking like a leaf, so Tommy took her by the hand and led her into his office where a fire roared and two glasses of whiskey were already waiting. He sat her down on his desk and took a seat in front of her, all the while rubbing the warmth back into her arms and hands. She looked down into his crystalline eyes and tried to find the words to say what she’d come for. At that moment, she was ever so grateful that Tommy knew how to take his time with her. He would wait until she was ready to talk.
 She finished her first glass of whiskey and leaned into him. She breathed deeply and sighed, feeling better already simply for having him there to hold her.
 “I don’t know what to do,” she mumbled into his collar.
 “About…” he prompted her while stroking her head.
 She sat back up and his hands went to her thighs rubbing slow, soothing circles over her skirt. She watched his hands and thought about what Jenny had said. She didn’t know very much about him, other than what they did together. Hell, she only just met his brother. His business dealings were a mystery and she had learned more about him from the papers than from his own words. So what if she became breathless around him? So what if her tummy fluttered every time he entered the room? Surely there was more to love than the helpless infatuation she felt for him.
 Tommy lay his head in her lap and wrapped his arms around her hips thinking that maybe she would be able to tell him what was wrong if his eyes weren’t watching her. She ran her fingers through his hair and took a deep breath.
 “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”
 “Is that right?” Tommy whispered.
 Lulled by the sensation of her fingernails on his scalp, he could feel the knots in his shoulders loosen. He was trying his best to be attentive to her needs, but his mind drifted to what he’d like to do with her on his desk.
 “Jenny and I had an awful row… the worst one we’ve ever had,” she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and went on, “I can’t live with her anymore.”
 That got his full attention.
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alonely-dreamer · 4 years
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The Valuable Sun | Chapter 9
Summary: Godric and his district receive Nan Flanagan’s visit after the Fellowship of the Sun fiasco.
Pairing: Eric x OC
Warnings: 18+ (terrible smut ahead)
A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there.
Words: 7219
Schedule: Next chapter will be posted on November 4
Masterlist
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
The sky was a light blue and dawn wasn’t far away as they drove back to the hotel in silence. Sookie and Brooklynne couldn’t wait to get back and lay down on their bed. They had just spent the most horrible couple of days, and they were impatient to be done and go home.
Eric booked a room for Jason, and Sookie was too tired to even think of asking him to get one for himself. The vampire let Brooklynne take a shower first and she collapsed on the bed as soon as she was out, but when he got out of the bathroom, she still wasn’t sleeping.
“I thought you’d be tired,” he said as he sat on his side of the bed.
“I’m exhausted.”
“What’s keeping you up?”
“All of it… Being stuck in that cage for two days… the explosion… I still can’t believe that man hated vampires so much he was ready to die if it meant taking at least one of you with him.”
“Hate is a powerful weapon.”
“And Steve Newlin won’t even be blamed for it.”
“I doubt it.”
She sighed. She turned around to face him, looking up at him from where her head was resting on the red silk pillow. “Thank you for saving my life.”
“You’re welcome.”
“You could have died.”
“It certainly was a possibility.”
“Then why did you do it?” If you don’t care, like you keep saying, she thought.
“I don’t know,” he said, being surprisingly honest with her.
“Godric is a good man.”
“Godric isn’t a man.”
“You may be vampires but you’re still men.”
“You’re exhausted, you don’t know what you’re saying,” he said, and she laughed.
“I know what I’m saying. And I mean it.”
“Then you’re a fool, Brooklynne Stackhouse.”
“Well, that’s not nice.”
“Sleep,” he told her. “We’ll have a lot to answer for tonight.”
“What do you mean?” she frowned.
“What happened last night will be all over the news. Which means we’ve attracted the unwanted attention of the AVL.”
“The American Vampire League…”
“Yes. They’re a pain in the ass, but they work for the Authority. They have power.”
“What’s the Authority?”
“A story for another time. Sleep.”
She sighed again. She was exhausted and she did want to sleep, but she was afraid of what she’d see once she closed her eyes.
“Sleep well, Eric.”
He looked down at her, lying beside him, with her eyes closed.
“Sleep well,” he said, but she had already fallen asleep.
***
Eric had been right, which didn’t surprise Brooklynne at all. The AVL was there, and the meeting was set at midnight. Bill, Sookie and Brooklynne were expected to attend as they had a few questions to answer. Eric was in a foul mood. He knew they were going to try and blame Godric, and he didn’t want to hear it. Nan Flanagan, the official AVL spokesperson, had come all the way to Dallas and booked the biggest suite of the hotel which, according to Eric, only meant they were seriously pissed and that heads would roll.
But Eric wasn’t the only one who had been right. Sookie hadn’t lied about the effect Eric’s blood would have on Brooklynne. She was indeed thinking about him more, and even though she was glad she hadn’t had any dreams about him yet, especially since he was sleeping right next to her, she could feel the attraction, and she could hardly keep her eyes off him. She woke up late in the afternoon and had escaped her room and joined her brother in his, hoping to avoid the vampire. But now, they were going to be in the same room for the rest of the night, and she couldn’t stop looking at him.
Nan was already waiting for them in the living room when they entered. She was sitting on a white faux leather footstool, near the two couches of the same fashion. Godric and Isabel had arrived first and were seated on the couch on her right. Bill, Sookie and Brooklynne were facing them, seated on the couch on Nan’s left. Eric had chosen a footstool near Brooklynne, facing both his maker, and the spokesperson. He didn’t look happy. Neither did she.
“Do you have any idea of the PR mess you’ve made?” she told them. “And who has to fucking clean that shit up? Me. Not you. Me. I should drain every one of you bastards.”
“Stan went after the church on his own,” Eric said. “None of us knew anything about it.”
“Oh really? Because everyone who’s met Stan in the last 300 years knew that he had a kink about slaughtering humans. But you, his nest mates, his sheriff, had no clue.”
Stan had been an (un)fortunate casualty of Luke’s suicide bombing, so now, the AVL needed a scapegoat and Eric would be damned if he let the AVL put the blame on his maker.
“And how were we supposed to know that this time he meant it?” Isabel asked.
“Not my problem. Yours,” she said as her eyes fell on Godric.
“Don’t talk to him that way,” Eric threatened her.
“Don’t talk to me that way,” she calmly warned him. “Let’s get to the point. How’d they manage to abduct you?”
“They would have taken one of us sooner or later,” Godric answered. “I offered myself.”
The information was news to Eric, who not only didn’t like it, but it also made him confused and scared for his maker.
“Why?” Nan asked, obviously surprised and confused herself.
“Why not?”
“They wanted you to meet the sun and you were willing?” she raised an eyebrow, looking at him like he was stupid, or insane, or both.
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re out of your mind.”
Eric thought the same. He didn’t look angry anymore, it was as if he had just understood something, something terrible, something he didn’t want to believe, something that made him sad. It took Brooklynne everything she had in her not to take his hand. She knew he wouldn’t like it, not now, not in the company of Nan or her bodyguards. It would be seen as weakness and he wouldn’t have it.
“And then I hear about a traitor?” Nan asked.
“Irrelevant. Only a rumor,” Godric told her. I’ll take full responsibility.”
“You bet you will.”
“You cold bitch,” Eric snarled.
“Listen. This is a national vampire disaster. And nobody at the top has any sympathy for any of you,” she explained to him before she returned her attention to Godric. “Sheriff, you fucked up. You’re fired.”
“I agree,” he nodded, “of course. Isabel should take over. She had no part in my disgrace.”
“Godric,” she said, stunned and confused. “Fight back.”
“What are you saying?” Eric asked, as stunned and confused as Isabel was. “She’s a bureaucrat. You don’t have to take shit from her!”
“You wanna lose your area, Viking?”
“Oh, you don’t have that kind of power.”
“Hey, I’m on TV. Try me,” she shrugged with a smile.
“I’m to blame. I should have contained Stan the second Godric went missing.”
“Isabel,” he stopped her. “I remove myself from all positions of authority.”
Eric breathed out. He didn’t recognize his maker. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it, too baffled to find the words.
“Works for me,” Nan said. “Come to my suite and fill out the forms.”
“Soon,” he nodded. “First, I have something to say,” he paused for a moment. “I’m sorry. I apologize for all the harm I’ve caused, for all our lost ones, human and vampire. I will make amends. I swear it.”
Nan grimaced. “Take it easy, it’s just a few signatures,” she said as she got up, tapping his shoulder twice before she left the room, followed by her people.
Godric got up as well but he was stopped by his progeny who blocked his way to the door.
“No,” he said. He knew, he understood, even though he didn’t really. He saw the pain, he saw the problem, but he didn’t like the solution his maker had chosen.
“Look in my heart.”
“You have to listen to me.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“There is.”
Godric sighed. “On the roof,” he said before he walked out.
Brooklynne didn’t recognize the look on Eric’s face. She never thought she’d ever get to see him like this. He looked confused and destroyed. He felt helpless, and so did she, as she had no idea how to fix it.
“Eric,” she whispered as she took a step forward, then took his hand. She didn’t know what else to say, but she wanted to be there, even though he probably didn’t need her.
He slightly squeezed her hand, acknowledging her presence without looking back at her, but then let it go and turned around, following his maker’s footsteps.
“It’s going to be dawn in a little while,” Sookie said.
“I know.”
“I’m gonna find Godric.”
“Sookie, this has nothing to do with us. You’ve done enough for Dallas,” Bill told her.
“I’ll go,” Brooklynne said.
“What can you do?” Bill asked, trying to stop her.
“I’ll just… be there.”
She gave a look to her sister, who knew she couldn’t stop her, but also didn’t want to. No one deserved to die alone, and Eric couldn’t be up there when Godric met the sun, so someone else had to.
She found them on the roof. They were arguing, and she felt uncomfortable, she didn’t want to interrupt them, so she stayed behind, at the top of the stairs, waiting for the right time.
The sky was becoming brighter as the sun was about to rise and Eric tried, he gave everything he had, to make his maker change his mind.
“Two thousand years is enough.”
“I can’t accept this. It’s insanity!”
“Our existence is insanity. We don’t belong here.”
“But we are here!”
“It’s not right. We’re not right.”
“You taught me there is no right and wrong. Only survival or death.”
“I told a lie, as it turns out.”
“I will keep you alive by force!”
“Even if you could, why would you be so cruel?”
Eric swallowed, desperation coming to replace his anger. “Godric don’t do it,” he begged in Swedish.
“There are centuries of faith and love between us.”
Eric started crying, tears of blood filling his eyes, a lump forming in his throat.
“Please, please,” he sobbed between two breaths as he fell to his knees. “Please, Godric.”
“Father. Brother. Son,” he continued. “Let me go,” he said, in English this time.
Eric tried to compose himself, taking a deep breath as he straightened up, but avoided his maker’s eyes, tears of blood making their way down his cheeks.
“I won’t let you die alone.”
“Yes, you will,” Godric said, and more tears of blood found their way on Eric’s face.
Godric put a hand on his progeny’s head and stroke his hair once, then twice, before resting it on his nape. Eric rose to finally look up at him.
“As your maker,” he said. “I command you.”
Eric stood up, like he was ordered. His maker gave him a small smile, which Eric tried to return, before he turned around and found Brooklynne standing there, at the top of the stairs. She gave him a sad look as he approached her. Eric turned to take one last look at his maker and Brooklynne took his hand, encouraging him to go back inside, as the sun was rising in the horizon.
“I’ll stay with him,” she told him. “As long as it takes.”
He nodded, avoiding her gaze, before he walked away, leaving her alone with his maker.
“It won’t take long,” Godric said as she approached him. “Not at my age.” He turned around to face her, he too had tears of blood in his eyes. “Do you believe in God?”
“I don’t. But Sookie does. My Gran did.”
“If they’re right… how do you think He’ll punish me?”
“Well… my Gran would say that God doesn’t punish. God forgives.”
“I don’t deserve it.”
“Yes, you do.”
He laughed quietly. “You don’t know me.”
“I know enough.”
He gave her a small smile. “You’ll care for him?”
She frowned, confused for a second, but then nodded. “I… I’ll try. I don’t think he’ll want anyone to care for him. You know how he is.”
“I can take the blame for that too,” Godric smiled.
“Maybe not. Eric’s pretty much… Eric.”
Godric nodded. He then turned around, to face the rising sun. Brooklynne’s heart tightened inside her chest and she tried to swallow the lump appearing in her throat.
“Aren’t you scared?”
“No,” he shook his head. “I… I’m full of joy,” he breathed out a laugh as if he were surprised.
“But… the sun… the pain…”
“I want to burn,” he assured her.
“Well,” she sniffed, “I’m scared for you.”
“A human with me at the end,” he smiled, and she wiped her wet cheeks, “and human tears… Two thousand years, and I can still be surprised. In this I see God.”
His skin was starting to burn and as the sun rose higher and brighter, he gestured for her to step back. He turned around, fully facing the light, unbuttoning his white shirt which he let fall on the ground.
“Goodbye Godric,” Brooklynne said as a tear fell down her cheek, and he opened his arms to embrace the sun.
His body turned into blue flames which consumed him so fast she didn’t even have time to gasp as he disappeared silently before her eyes.
***
The blue skirt of Brooklynne’s dress caressed her thighs as she walked through the hotel’s hallways. She tried to dry her tears before she reached her room. She didn’t know what to expect once she opened the door. Would Eric even be inside? It was daytime, so he had to be in the hotel. She hoped he wasn’t doing anything stupid.
She slowly opened the door of her room and found Eric sitting on her side of the bed, looking down at his feet. He didn’t acknowledge her as she stepped inside. She saw the trails of blood on his cheeks, the tears falling onto his chest, staining his white shirt. She silently made her way to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Godric is gone,” he said.
“Yes. I’m so sorry,” she replied as she slid a hand in his hair.
She couldn’t say she knew how he felt, because she had no idea what losing a maker felt like, or what it felt like to lose someone you’ve known for a thousand years, but she knew loss. She knew how it felt to lose a parent. She had lost three. There was nothing she could say that could make it better, that would make his grief go away. He had to go through it to accept it.
“Did he suffer?” he asked as he took the hand she had in his hair.
“No.”
He sniffed as he nodded. “Thank you. For staying with him.”
“Of course.”
She moved her hand from his shoulder to his face, cupping his cheek. She’d have wiped his tears away if she could, but all it would do was spread the blood on his face, making it worse. She didn’t know if it was because of his blood that was now part of her, or if she’d have done the same even without it, but she wanted to be close to him, to take care of him. She wondered if he’d let her.
“Come on,” she said as she took a step back and gently pulled him off the bed.
He frowned but allowed her to drag him to the bathroom. She took him to the sink, where she picked up a cloth. She opened the tap and wetted it with warm water, though she doubted he’d be bothered by anything cold. She turned towards him, wanting to clean the blood from his chest and face, but stopped when she realized he was too tall and that it would be more complicated than she had first thought. Understanding the problem, Eric put his hands on her waist, and made her sit on the counter with supernatural speed. She gasped, surprised by the unexpected movement.
“I told you not to do that,” she told him, and she thought she saw a smile on his face for a second.
She took a look at his chest and took the bloody top of his shirt between a finger and a thumb, tucking it down slightly to give her access to the blood that had dried on his skin. But she didn’t have to bother for long as he removed his shirt completely. She looked up at him for a quick moment before she started cleaning the blood off the top of his torso. He let her work in silence, and she could feel his eyes on her, never leaving her face. She tried to ignore it, tried not to blush too hard, but when she reached his face, it became harder to ignore his intense gaze.
Never in a million years would she have imagined being in this kind of situation, especially not with Eric. She’d always thought she’d be alone her entire life and being this close to someone had seemed like an impossibility just a week before. She never really thought about it either. Never gave too much thought about her future, or about anything. She never had the clarity of mind to do so. But now that she did, she didn’t know what to do. What was normal? What was expected of her? She’d always been different, did she really want that to change? She didn’t care about being ‘abnormal’, she just wanted to be free. Free of the voices, free of the house. Free to make her own choices. For once. And maybe Sookie wouldn’t like it, but she didn’t care. She’d make her own choices, she’d live her life, at last.
She left the bloody cloth in the sink after she was done. She placed her hands on each side of his clean face and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs. He didn’t look bothered. She could see his pain in his eyes. His eyes that were looking right at her, exploring her, like he was seeing her for the first time, getting to know her, maybe looking for something, something familiar, something that he needed. He looked like he found what he was looking for.
“Thank you,” he said as he leaned into her touch.
“What do you need?”
He raised an eyebrow, surprised, though he guessed he shouldn’t really be. She had a good soul, she’d want to help him in any way she could. He considered it for a moment. Could he ask that of her? Knowing she’d probably say yes because she wouldn’t say no to anything right now. Could he take what he wanted from her now, something he’d wanted ever since he had first met her, ever since she sat on his lap the first time, smiling back at him like he wasn’t the most dangerous person she’d ever met. She was careless, or at least she used to be, before he helped her cast the voices away, before he helped her find her own, find some lucidity in her life. But even after she found peace and quiet, she’d stayed with him, she hadn’t backed away like her sister had probably told her to. She was here, worried about him, wanting to help him, even after she’d found out about Lafayette. If he were a good person, he’d probably let her go. He wouldn’t be selfish, and he would stay as far away from her as possible. But right now, now that Godric was gone, it was he who had lost clarity. Even though he doubted that if he weren’t in pain at this moment, he’d probably still be doing what he was about to do.
“Are you ready to give me what I need?” he asked as he leaned forward, his hands moving from the counter to her waist as his eyes slowly fell on her neck.
A shaky breath escaped her. “Would it make you feel better?” she asked in a whisper.
“It’ll help.”
His answer was low but clear. She slowly brought a hand to her shoulder, brushing the hair away before she tilted her head, giving him access to her neck. He moved slowly, his nose sliding up her skin before his cold lips found her vein. She closed her eyes, waiting for the pain to come, but it never did. He moved up slightly, his cold breath reaching her ear.
“That’s not what I meant,” he murmured.
She frowned and found his eyes as he moved away from her neck, his face still inches from hers. Her mouth opened when she understood what he was saying, but no sound came out of it as she was rendered speechless. She was barely breathing, he wasn’t at all. He trapped her chin in his fingers, his eyes falling on her lips. She closed her mouth quickly and tried to swallow her nervousness away. She drew a shaky breath as he brushed his nose against hers. She waited for him without realizing it. Time had stopped and seconds turned to hours as he still wasn’t moving. She didn’t know what to do, her thoughts were colliding together in her mind, making it impossible for her to make a decision. Eventually, she moved, instinctively maybe, or because she was getting impatient, because she wanted it, needed it, but she raised her head, so slightly maybe it wasn’t even anything, but he saw it. He saw it for what it was or for what he wanted it to be: permission.
His lips found hers quickly, urgently, a bit roughly. She reacted immediately, kissing him back. He pulled her to him and her chest crashed into his, his hand resting on her lower back. Her hands left the counter to find a place on his bare chest. His fingers slid in her hair, holding her head in place as he kissed her. She didn’t know what she was doing, but he did. He slightly opened his mouth, his tongue licking her lips, pushing for access, access that she granted. She let his tongue wander on her lips, in her mouth, let him play with her own. A moan escaped her as she felt his hand move from her back to her hip, down to her thigh. He pushed the skirt away, his fingers travelling on her skin, going high, higher than she should let him.
His long and cold fingers reached the top of her thigh, his thumb stroking her skin once, before his caresses moved up. But they didn’t take the direction that she feared. His fingers returned to her waist, his thumb going up, not stopping until he reached her bra. Her breasts were surprisingly heavy for someone her size. He didn’t bother to take it off, he went over it, sliding his thumb inside the cup, making her gasp and break the kiss. But he didn’t stop. He captured her lips again as he found the pink and hard button he was looking for. Bothered by all the layers covering her, he didn’t play with it for long before he removed his hand from under her dress, surprised she had let him go so far.
He broke the kiss as both his hands found her lower back and he pulled her to him, fast and hard, taking her by surprise. She didn’t even feel him lift her. One second she was sitting on the counter, and the next she was back in the bedroom, lying on the bed. He was kneeling before her, his imposing figure towering above her. His right knee brushed against her left leg as it went up, and up, opening her legs. The skirt of her dress curled up, concealing her underwear. She felt her cheeks turn red as his eyes travelled, oh so slowly, from her bare legs to her eyes. She swallowed as he locked his gaze with hers. He leaned forward, his right hand coming to rest on the soft mattress near her head. His face approached hers unhurriedly and she tried hard not to look away. She closed her eyes, however, when she felt his fingers on her thigh once more.
“Are you ready to give me what I need?” he repeated, whispering in her ear.
Her heart had never beaten faster, she felt like it was about to leave her chest. Giving him her blood was one thing but giving him her body was another. At that moment, she wished she knew what he was thinking. Or maybe, it was better that she didn’t. She wasn’t ready for this. She hadn’t expected this. Nor did she expect to want it, and yet, despite the fear, despite the unknown, she did. She wanted to know what it would feel like to be with him. She wanted to do what it would feel like to be cared for by him.
“Yes,” she replied, so low only he could have heard her.
She had barely said the word that his lips were on hers once again. His right hand fisted the bedsheet as his left moved up her thigh. He pulled on the dress once, to warn her about what he was about to do, which she didn’t understand at all. He tore the blue dress apart, leaving her in her pink underwear. She gasped as she felt the fabric leave her body. Her right breast was already coming out of its cup thanks to Eric’s earlier exploration. His lips left hers, stopping on her chin, then on her throat, then on her upper chest before they found her cleavage. She shivered as his cold fingers slid beneath her and reached the clasp of her bra. He threw it away across the room. She immediately had the reflex to cover herself, but he stopped her, gently grabbing her wrists. He looked up at her, but when she looked away, he put her arms up above her head, pressing her wrists against the mattress. She couldn’t move when all she wanted was to cover herself.
“Don’t,” he said as she tried to free her hands.
She begged him with her eyes, a faint sob escaping her throat. He pressed a gentle kiss on her lips before he returned his attention to her breast. She looked up at the ceiling as his nose slid down her cleavage. He lowered her arms that he kept pinned against the mattress. His lips kissed her right breast, his tongue licked her nipple before he trapped it in his mouth. A shaky breath escaped her as he played with one of the most intimate parts of herself. He eventually let go of her arms but only so he could play with her left nipple. He caressed it with his thumb, over and over again, and he could feel it harden under his touch. She moaned, suddenly finding pleasure as she relaxed under him.
His right hand abandoned her left nipple and slid down her body, finding the waistband of her underwear. She instantly put a hand over his, but it didn’t stop him. He slid a finger under it, and her gasp didn’t make him stop either. He released her nipple and kissed his way back up to her face as he slid another finger under her panties. She drew a long breath as his fingers found the most intimate part of her body.
“You’re already wet for me,” he said as he looked down. Heat invaded her face and even more so when he looked back up at her. “Up,” he instructed her, and she gave him a confused look, which he found more arousing than perhaps it should have.
He tugged at her underwear to make her understand. She silently obeyed, lifting herself up slightly to allow him to remove her damp panties.
“Good girl,” he smirked, and even though she thought it wouldn’t be humanly possible for her to blush even more, she did.
His fingers returned to her wet lips and she closed her eyes at his cold touch.
“Breathe,” he told her, and she realized she was holding her breath. “Make me stop,” he said, and even though it sounded like a challenge, she knew what he meant. They could stop this at any moment, any second, if she wanted to.
She watched as he left the bed and knelt on the floor. He put a kiss on her right leg, then another, kissing his way up her inner thigh, eventually reaching the hot mess between her legs. She looked up at the ceiling, unable to meet his gaze, as she covered her face with her hands. She whimpered as his tongue licked her lips. He slowly licked up his way to the one thing he wanted right now, the button that would have her crumble completely. He pulled her closer to him, her legs resting on his shoulders. His mouth closed on her, making her moan. He licked the button, that bundle of nerves, played with it, slowly at first, then faster, and faster, and faster, faster than any human could have done. She didn’t know what to do with herself as pleasure built up inside her, taking over her muscles, her thoughts, her entire mind. She couldn’t think, unintelligible words coming out of her mouth. His name maybe was the only thing they could both understand.
She shattered completely on the bed after a few minutes. His hands keeping her trembling body still as he wouldn’t let go, as he carried her through her first orgasm. She was panting when he finally let go, kissing the inside of her thigh before he stood up. He watched as her body kept twitching, as she tried to catch her breath. When she realized he was seeing her wholly, completely, she moved up a leg, trying to conceal herself, as if he hadn’t seen all of her yet. She propped herself up on her elbows, looking back at him, waiting in confusion. His hands reached his pants, and she watched as he unbuttoned his jeans. He took everything off, exposing himself to her like she was exposed to him. Her eyes grew big as she saw his length, a shaky breath escaping her lips as she moved back a little as she looked up at him.
“Make me stop,” he repeated, offering her a way out.
She swallowed, her throat feeling dry, considering it. But she shook her head as she whispered: “I don’t wanna stop.”
“Good,” he said as he knelt on the bed, making his way back to her.
He kissed her, roughly, his lips crashing on hers. She let him push her back onto the mattress as she kissed him back, sliding her fingers into his hair. His own fingers found their way back to her wet folds and she gasped as this time, he wasn’t going to stop there. He slid a finger slowly into her, the unfamiliar touch made her feel uncomfortable. At first. But as he kissed her, as he pushed his finger in and out, she became more and more aroused and eager. She moved her hips to meet his movement, and he slid a second finger into her. The pressure only lasted a few seconds before pleasure found her. She knew what he was doing, she’d read enough books to know that she needed to be ready for a man of his size. But the books hadn’t been nearly indicative of how it all felt. She felt dazed, drowning in pleasure but also in uncertainty and nervousness. She was light-headed, her core burning at the idea of giving him what he wanted while he was giving her what she needed. That need that he had put inside of her, that his touch had created. He was a thief, stealing everything from her, her breath, her clarity, herself. Everything she was and everything she had was his. She was at his mercy as his fingers entered her, made her moan, made her forget everything else but his lips on her neck and his hands on her body.
She groaned as he slid a third finger, perhaps too early, inside of her. The pressure lasted longer as his long fingers opened her up, made her ready for what was to come. What she had promised him, what she could take away at any time if she wanted. He had given her so much power, he too was at her mercy as she could stop it all before it even started. But she wouldn’t be so cruel. She wanted to give him everything, just so he could feel a little better, even if it only lasted a second.
As she was getting lost in the building pleasure, he suddenly moved, making them lay on their side. He removed his fingers, resting his hand on her bottom. She put a hand over his but didn’t remove it. He kissed her, slowly this time, more gently than before.
“Make me stop,” he repeated as he put a kiss on her shoulder.
But she didn’t stop him. Not even when she felt him against her thigh. He was cold, she should have known, but hadn’t expected it.
Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind. She should have thought of it before, way earlier, but suddenly, she wondered if he knew. The way he was touching her, the way he was doing everything told her that he did, but she wondered, maybe he was being gentle because she was human, or because of that other reason. Maybe, he didn’t know.
“Wait,” she stopped him, putting a hand on his chest. “I…”
“What?”
She avoided his gaze, feeling embarrassed for not having told him before.
“I… I’m…”
“I know,” he said, and the revelation made her look up at him. “It’s okay. It won’t hurt, not for long,” he told her, and she nodded. “Do you want to stop?”
“No,” she shook her head.
He resumed what he had started, moving his hand from her bottom to her thigh, lifting it, slightly, but enough, to allow him to find her entrance. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder as she felt the tip of his length reached her lips. She squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for the pain to come.
“Hey,” he whispered so gently it didn’t sound like him. He removed her arm from his neck then cupped her cheek in his hand.
He leaned forward to kiss her, gently, slowly, for a minute, and then another one. To make her forget about the situation they were in below. When she was relaxed, he slowly pushed himself inside of her, making her gasp, then wince as she felt the uncomfortable pressure. He withdrew himself slowly, then entered her once again. He did it a few times until the pressure was gone, until she forgot about it. He went a little further every time, getting her used to his size, but he quickly reached the wall, and she felt it as he did. He never stopped kissing her, not even when she cried out when they became one. He never stopped, never slowed down, his movement only becoming faster as she relaxed in his arms.
She was a moaning mess and every little sound she made filled him with desire. He was so big and so deep inside of her. He could feel her reaching her limit, her early orgasm was to be expected. She cried out his name as she felt it too and his thrust never ceased, not even when she crumbled into his arms. He carried her through the orgasm as it travelled through her like lightning, down her spine to her legs, to her toes. She moaned loudly as she trembled, bliss taking over her quickly, as she felt like she was going to pass out. But the feeling never went away as his hips kept meeting hers, faster and faster. She heard him groan now, though he’d been doing that for a while, she was just now registering her surroundings once again.
He moved suddenly so that she was lying on her back and he was on top of her. He moved her legs up which she locked around his waist like he wanted. She felt him slowing down and even though his pace was becoming too much for her, she knew he wouldn’t find his pleasure if he held back.
“Eric,” she said but it was difficult to find the words. “Don’t… slow down.”
He slowed down, however, misunderstanding her words. He put a kiss on her shoulder before he found her face. She brought a weak hand to his cheek before she tried again.
“Don’t slow down,” she told him, and he tilted his head, silently asking her if she knew what she was asking for. “I want… to give you what you need.”
He raised an eyebrow, and she saw uncertainty in his eyes. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
She shook her head. “I want to give you what you need.”
“You’ve given enough,” he said, straightening up so he was towering over her before he thrusted into her, hard and unexpectedly.
She gasped and moaned at the sudden movement. Despite what he knew was best for her he couldn’t deny there was something deep within him that wanted to take the opportunity to fuck her hard and fast and leave her a sobbing mess until she passed out on his cock. Everything about her was confusing, he wanted to protect her, but he also wanted to destroy her, in the best of ways. She was so innocent and pure and right now his and only his. No man had ever been there before and the idea of another man touching her, making her his, enraged him. He thrusted into her again, harder this time. He was claiming her, and he wanted her forever, another companion for the next thousand years, someone who would never leave him like Godric just did. Someone who would be with him for him, like Godric had found him and chosen him to be his companion. Pam wasn’t it. He loved Pam and he’d spent the rest of forever with her, but she was no Brooklynne Stackhouse. There was something there, a light only a human could have, a light he knew she wouldn’t lose even in the darkness because it was part of her.
He wanted her.
But did she want him?
He leaned forward again and rested his forehead against hers. She took his face in her hands, confused by his sudden silence, waiting for him to move, to say something.
“Be mine.”
It took her by surprise. He didn’t move as he waited for her to answer.
“Give me what I need. Be mine,” he repeated, and it sounded like a plea. He was vulnerable now like he had been on the roof. He had lost someone he loved deeply and now he needed someone to fill that gap. Brooklynne knew she could never fill that gap, but she could be something else, something new, something he needed.
He waited patiently for her to either break his heart or save him. There wasn’t much left of his heart, he kept it hidden, but she’d seen glimpses of it before and she’d seen a lot of it tonight. She was just what his heart needed right now after it had been left vulnerable by Godric’s departure.
She didn’t know what to say. Hadn’t she already given him everything? She was lying under him, at this moment, he was buried deep within her. She had told him her secrets, given him her first kiss, her first everything. What more could she do? Wasn’t she already his?
The next words that came out of her mouth woke something in him. Something raw, something untamed. His lips mashed against her, demanding something, anything, everything. He seized her wrists and pinned them against the mattress above her head. She didn’t think he’d react that way, she didn’t know what she expected to happen, but not this. He was unleashed, free to do with her as he pleased. She was his. His.
He straightened up, towering over her once again, releasing her hands, resuming his thrusts. He was reaching deep inside of her, hard and fast, harder and faster. He growled as he lost himself within her, taking what she offered, what he needed. She moaned and cried out as the world disappeared around her, maybe it hurt or maybe it was just pure bliss, she couldn’t tell. Maybe she passed out, then came back to consciousness just to pass out again. All she knew was his hands on her thighs, his growls and groans in the air. She could only feel him, in and out, in and out, over and over again, so fast she couldn’t even tell the difference anymore. She raised her hands, just to let them fall back on the mattress. She moved her head, right, left, up and down, it didn’t matter, she couldn’t see anything. Time disappeared with her lucidity. Maybe she’d been having one long orgasm that lasted minutes after minutes or maybe she just came over and over again, but it all blended together until he found euphoria between her legs. She cried out as the thrusting stopped. She felt him empty himself inside of her, heard him growl loudly, before he thrusted into her again, once, and twice, making her cry out each time, exhausted and sore.
When he removed himself, she felt like she had just lost a part of her, something that had always been there. He laid down beside her twitching body. She was out of breath, pearls of sweat sliding down her skin. She called his name, missing his touch already, and he brought her to him. She breathed out as she rested her head on his chest, barely aware of where she was. She only knew him and that was enough.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, and she didn’t understand.
“What?” she said, half conscious.
“Did I hurt you?” he reformulated, now more in control of himself, now aware of what he had just done, of what he had been doing for the past hour.
“No.”
“I should have stopped when you passed out the first time.”
“I passed out?”
He caressed her bare shoulder with his fingers, wondering if he should be worried or amused.
“Did I give you what you needed?” she asked, and he nodded.
“Yes.”
He hesitated, wondering if he should let her fall asleep are clean her up. There was blood on the bed, among other substances. But she was already falling asleep.
“Say it again,” he asked while she was still conscious.
“What?”
“Say it again.”
She sighed, tired and content. “I’m yours, Eric.”
“Yes. You are mine.”
*********
Tags: @thepoet1975 @nerdysandwichqueen @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @raegan-hale @colie87
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