#also have school photos and my piercing is still very much there
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eren jaeger headcanons <3
🎵teenage fever - Drake 🎧
His favorite way to unwind is to play with your hair. Due to having longer hair himself he’s grown accustomed to the different skill sets required to craft different hair styles, and actually, is really good at it. His fingers are lithe and nimble and are able to weave through strands with ease.
He drives an all black car with tinted windows, and has a polaroid of you in a photo booth with him on your first date in a plastic case hanging from his rear view mirror.
he also always makes sure to keep your favorite snacks in the car, as he’s a guy who’s bound to text you at 2am asking bout some “you up for a drive?” 💀
in terms of tattoos despite popular belief, i personally think he’d keep it on the minimal side. He’d maybe have some on his arms - or a sleeve, but he likes to keep them tidy. Although, he is one of those guys that would have that tiktok thirst trap spider on his chest or adjacent to his v line…..
this mf smells gooooood, he’s so paranoid about smelling bad because of Jean saying he smelt like a burning pile of bodies in high school and hasn’t been able to shake the fear since.
despite not being overly adorned in tattoos he does like piercings. He’s got about five on his ears and has a nose piercing but he always forgets about it.
loves reality shows. A few months into your relationship he noticed you watching them and acted with his full chest that he had no interest, yet as the weeks rolled by he somehow got closer and closer to the couch and before you knew it he was fully shouting over Lisa Rinna. (You’ve also seen him following over 30 housewives from the different shows on instagram…)
cannot stand metal music because he spent his entire childhood covering his ears from where it bled from under Mikasa’s door. (Otherwise he’d probably enjoy it)
he’d dress quite simply, mainly with blacks and whites and would sometimes mix and match with some red or green, but i don’t think he’s as ambitious as some of his friends fashion wise, but he still looks good as hell.
his favorite holiday is with out a doubt halloween, is some of this because he spent so long as a child building the most elaborate scares for the kids on his street? maybe. but he also likes autumn as a season so that has something to do with it.
doesn’t get along with his dad too well but is a total mamas boy. He visits her at least twice a month considering they live in different cities.
is a cat person, but when he was younger he liked dogs more as according to him they were “much radder” - his own words 💀, but as he got older and became more subdued he developed a preference for cats.
has anxiety that he manages to hide, he wasn’t used to being comforted and it took a while for him to fully open up to you.
despite smoking weed with Jean and connie almost every other day he still makes a dramatic scene any time Zeke lights a cigarette around him, i’m talking coughing and clutching his chest, Zeke’s standing there like this 🧍♀️waiting for him to stop his fucking shenanigans.
if you want to go out with Eren Jaeger prepare to be a victim of the sassy man apocalypse, because my god, this man is relentless, and the SIDE EYE on this mf is ridiculous. He could knock down an army with his sass alone.
takes good care of his hair, oils it twice a week and does hair masks in order to keep it soft and shiny. He can’t have his gorgeous girl going out with some guy with brittle, greasy ass hair…
goes to the gym but doesn’t like it very much. he goes most days for at least an hour but never posts gym pics on his instagram or anything, he just has no interest apart from maintaining his body.
cannot sleep without you. he can try, sure, but he’ll never be successful. Before you both decided to move in together he was at your house every night, nuzzled against your body with light breaths slipping from his lips, which sparked the conversation, why not just move in, you’re here everyday anyway?
tends to bottle things up, and if something is bothering him you will have to work it out of him slowly…but he’s trying, for you he’s trying.
his lock screen is a photo of you asleep against his chest, he just thought you looked so peaceful.
gets embarrassingly competitive in just dance, threw a Wii at Connie once because he made him lose a perfect score on timber.
finally, he loves stargazing, especially with you. He’ll take you out to a deserted street, a bag full of snacks and a joint as you both lay on the hood of his car, chatting about whatever comes to mind, and it’s at those moments, when his eyes focus on the slope of your nose and the shape of your mouth, that he feels a warmth inside him he’s never felt before. <3
#attack on titan eren#eren jaeger fluff#eren aot#eren x you#eren x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren yeager#eren fanfiction#eren x y/n#eren fluff#aot x you#aot x reader
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Just a heads up for US (and Canadian, I think?) university and high school students and professors:
There's an organization called Canary Mission that doxxes students/professors who show their support for Palestine and/or any criticism towards Israel. On their website, (I don't feel comfortable linking it, as it may increase its popularity on Google + looking up your name is probably not a good idea if you're doing it on their own website) they straight up write paragraphs about these people: what they did to end up on the site (includes evidence such as videos and photos), their location, their graduation plans, their social media links (Spotify, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.), and more. They also have a Twitter, which doesn't post as much info but still very much tweets out full names and similar stuff. Their entire goal is to silence people.
Report and block their Twitter. There's a link in my sources where you can report the site to the FBI.
Sorry if this is a bit lackluster in info and such. It's 5 AM right now and I don't have a lot of time to pile up a lot of sources but I feel like this is very important to spread.
Sources:
(This is where I first found out about this. Thread has the FBI link to report the site for doxxing but honestly...I have no idea how to report it. Someone asked what category to choose in the FBI link but didn't get a reply so if you know, lemme know and I'll edit this post)
(Tips on how to avoid being targeted such as creating a backup email for accounts that express Palestinian support or covering up any identifiable features [piercings, tattoos, dye, etc.] in protests) (also has a link at end of thread where you can donate to palestinians with just a single click every day)
Even though I strongly recommend to NOT DO THIS, I did check out the site + twitter to actually understand what's going on and god, it's so fucking pathetic. Obviously not linking anything but everything described is true
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Rook Fact Sheet
(Voted 15th-most-popular-character on the jpn server in a combination of seven different character-ranking surveys held throughout 2021)
Rook refers to himself as "le Chasseur d'amour" (the hunter of love). He enjoys both archery and bow hunting (he has multiple bows and arrows on display in his dorm room) and makes a comment to Ruggie about using his tail as a scarf. He has said he often “chased” animals in his home country of Sunset Savannah, occasionally refers to other students as “prey” and explains to Malleus that “hunting is what I do best”, so it seems he is very much a literal hunter.
In his Beansfest vignette, Rook assures Trey that, “A true enemy will never loom over you, a menacing glower in his eye. It is he who hovers in your periphery with a smile that you must be wary of.”
Rook assigns nicknames to his fellow students, always referring to house wardens as “king”. Floyd’s name for Rook is “seagull”, while he is often referred to as “weird” by others, and even members of staff have been seen looking uncomfortable around him. Rook acknowledges his own talkative nature and will praise and discuss others for long conversations, but only very rarely shares information about himself. According to Epel, “the more you know about him the more mysterious he becomes”.
Rook spends the entirety of his labwear vignette audibly longing to hunt Leona, saying, “If those sharp fangs of his pierced my windpipe, I’d be done for in an instant. The very notion makes my heart quiver. I could watch Leona all day and never tire of it. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get my hunter’s blood boiling every time I look at him. I so ache to corner that calm, collected quarry just enough to make him bare his fangs. Oh, to find myself in the position to make him squirm!”
In his PE vignette he asks a few students to play a game of tag—with himself as the chaser—and all refuse.
Rook will occasionally excuse himself to perform “fieldwork”, which Vil refers to as “meddling in the affairs of people from other dorms”.
In the game guide we learn that "He is secretly very well-muscled. He almost never takes off his gloves for everyday tasks (in order to not leave any fingerprints behind). His neck and arms are thicker than Vil’s. When weighing himself it was discovered that he is actually heavier than Trey, and he feigned surprise."
While we do not know whether the gallery of pictures partially hidden by the wallpaper in his dorm room are photos of Neige, the blanket over his bed has most certainly been inspired by the Snow White (and thus, Neige) motif.
Ortho has evaluated Rook’s heart rate, pulse and other vital signs more than once in order to gauge Rook’s level of surprise or honesty, but results always return normal, no matter the situation.
Rook has extraordinarily good eyesight—to the point that he says he has no use for binoculars—and he comments that Vil has “put on weight in the past three days” after noticing imperceivable changes to Vil’s jawline (Vil comments that “Rook reads me more accurately than any scale. Possibly even more accurately than a mirror”).
He is also capable of reading the title of a book held by Epel as he walks through the courtyard, while Rook himself watched from inside the school.
His eyesight is aided by the hat he wears “out of respect for the hunter who served the beautiful queen”, which also cuts down on glare from the sun. He is also adept at tracking the passage of time, able to guess the current time of day within ten minutes.
A very private person, at Rook’s birthday party he is asked the usual question of “is there a memory from any of your past birthdays back home that you would like to share?”, and outright refuses to answer, explaining that “secrets are sweetest when left secret”. When asked about his love for bows, he launches into a poem about their beauty.
Despite how little is known about him by absolutely anyone, he was still selected to represent his dorm at the Spelldrive tournament and as Vice Housewarden.
He follows up with Epel kindly when Epel struggles with Vil’s expectations and rules, but can be similarly strict.
Despite being a member of the Science Club, he takes over for Vil as head of the Film Studies Club when Vil is unavailable. This may be why Lilia tends to refer to him as “Chief of Staff”. We learn in a vignette that he only joined the science club to begin with in order to learn how to make smokes and dyes to support Vil’s filmography projects. For Vil’s birthday, Rook wrote him 100 poems.
According to Trey, “Rook tends to blurt out everything that crosses his mind, positive or negative”.
During an event, Rook tells a story to Trey about surviving on his own for over a month in a jungle at the age of six, where he crafted a knife out of a rock, a shield out of a piece of tree and rope out of grass. He disguised his scent with mud, dug a hole to hide in and camouflaged himself with leaves.
He became trapped in a bottomless swamp for three days, only managing to escape by grabbing onto a warthog that dragged him to safety. Bitten by a poisonous insect, feverish and close to losing consciousness, he trailed after a ghost that led him to the edge of a river where he was found by a search-and-rescue team and reunited with his mother. When Trey asks if he is lying, Rook asks if Trey has a problem with his “nerves of steel” and Trey backs down.
“Beauté, 100 points!”, the phrase that Rook used to compliment every single participant in the VDC auditions, became very popular with twst fans and it can now be found in use by “positive affirmation” Twitter bots, in pixiv tags, the official Twisted Wonderland LINE stamp set and more.
Some great artists for Rook fan-art and more (SFW, no story spoilers)
Rook the archer
Summertime Uniforms with Vil
Just a lovely illustration
And another lovely illustration
Voice
Rook is voiced by Itokawa Youjirou (糸川 耀士郎) . Rook is his first voice acting role. He is a musical theater performer, and his recent appearances include Yotsusuji Kannabi in Hypnosis Mic Division Rap Battle, Suwa in rock musical MARS RED, Kanbe Daisuke in The Millionaire Detective Balance:UNLIMITED The STAGE, Sawamura Eijun in Daiya no A the Musical, Yoshizawa Akira in Escape, Don't Escape and Amami Annojou in Amaku wa Naize!3
Rook’s seiyuu was a guest on episodes 5 and 6 of “Good Boy!”, the Twisted Wonderland-based show hosted on the Disney Games official YouTube Channel.
The 6th episode is particularly entertaining, where he tries to guess the English translation of the nicknames of other characters on ENG-server. The full episode can be viewed below.
youtube
More seiyu information available here.
Additional Fact Sheets
・Riddle Rosehearts ・Trey Clover・Cater Diamond
・Ace Trappola・Deuce Spade
・Leona Kingscholar ・Ruggie Bucchi ・Jack Howl
・Azul Ashengrotto・Floyd Leech・Jade Leech
・Kalim Al-Asim・Jamil Viper
・Vil Schoenheit・Rook Hunt ・Epel Felmier
・Idia Shroud・Ortho Shroud
・Malleus Draconia ・Silver・Sebek Zigvolt・Lilia Vanrouge
・Sam・Crewel・Trein・Vargas・Crowley
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get to know me tag
I was tagged by @morrigan-sims. Thank you so much for the tag! ♥️
I'll put mine under the cut too cause I'm particularly chatty today
show your wallpaper and the last song you listened to.
For me this requires a photo! As I have my external display and my mac display and they're different. So, have a workspace reveal!
Last song is Your Love by One True God & Roniit
currently reading?
Nevernight by Jay Kristoff... but barely. I've been moving it from room to room with the intention of curling up with it but then I render or write instead. Oops.
last movie?
Don't laugh (ok you can laugh) but it was the second Austin Powers movie. My husband's never seen them all the way through and they're on Netflix only until June 30th. Don't judge us too hard lmfao
last show?
The Queen's Gambit. I watched it when it was released, but hubby didn't.
craving?
The New Orleanian in me is craving this one cocktail served at my favorite restaurant. The restaurant closed down for covid and reopened literally only a few weeks ago but it looks like that cocktail isn't on their menu anymore. Afaik I think it was vodka and raspberry jam??? Phenomenal. It was called the Little Red Dog. We're going to that restaurant tomorrow and I'm praying if I ask for it they can make it but I don't have my hopes up.
what are you wearing right now?
Sweatpant material shorts I stole from my dad one weekend years ago and a shirt from The Strand bookstore in NYC. (Work pajama outfit lmfao)
how tall are you?
My ID says 5'2" but I think that's bullshit. An even 5'. Would've been shorter but I had my scoliosis corrected at 12 (I'm a terminator, baybeee) & I gained 2 inches from the surgery.
piercings?
2 holes in each lobe, 1 nose ring, and a closed up lip piercing I wish I still had but not enough to get it re-opened. I hope to get several more.
tattoos?
Two so far, a semicolon on the back of my neck (gotten before the semicolon tattoo movement) & a paper crane on my right wrist in memory of my late best friend.
I want to get several more and have been actively ignoring the itch because my big wedding ceremony is in October... but after 👀
I think I was a big crow on my back/across one shoulder. And a few other small ones I've been thinking about. I've also always wanted bats behind my ear so maybe that too.
glasses or contacts?
Glasses! I'd love to wear contact but, fun trivia for your Friday, did you know that taking birth control longterm literally changes the shape of your corneas? I didn't either. But I'm pretty sure that happened to me and now I can't wear contacts without extreme discomfort. So, glasses for me.
last thing you ate?
Sliced mango and pomegranate seeds (:
favorite color?
Red, black, dark blues.
current obsession?
My current and forever obsession is Vignettes, the story my bestie and I are writing together. It's wild how this one storyline has become my entire personality, and I'm not at all mad about it.
any pets?
One sweet sweet little fur-son named Loki!
he squint
favorite fictional character?
This is such a hard question for me to answer cause I have wildly fluctuating obsessions and right now I'm most obsessed with my own fictional characters, but.
Kaz Brekker will always have a place in my heart. I loved him from his very first appearance in Six of Crows.
Same for Nikolai Lantsov in Shadow & Bone.
I loved Alina for the longest time too but I think her depiction in the show soured me on her a bit, idk. I have a lot of strong feelings about the Netflix adaptation I could write a whole dissertation on.
I've also held the Abhorsen series (& Sabriel) close to my heart since I read it literally in middle school. I re-bought Sabriel a while ago and need to read it again.
last place you traveled?
I don't remember for sure if our most recent trip was to Houston when we got engaged or to North Carolina for my husband's best friend's wedding. Either way, it's been too long since we traveled and I need to go somewhere stat! haha
I'm tagging @buttertrait, @angelgnomeisdeadrip, @druidberries, @simlishpiadina, @kotpicard, @leafbatraccoon, @raiiny-bay, @chaoticsimlish, @omgkayplays & anyone else who wants to do this! Feel free to say I tagged you!
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Hiii, I'd like to request a match up !!
First of all, sorry if it's written weird, English is not my first language and I'm in need of a few days of sleep lmao :') also this is very long because I have no idea how to write concisely to save my life, so, sorry for your eyes? brain? Idk but sorry
1 - I'm AFAB genderqueer, might be a demigirl ? idk gender is confusing. anyways, I use any pronouns because I'm extra like that lmao, and I prefer my sexuality to stay unlabelled for now
2 - Papas !! (they're so silly I love them)
3 - I'm rather small (163cm/5'4") and kinda pudgy. I would not say I'm plus size but I'm definitely thicker than average, especially around my hips and thighs (stretch marks n cellulite gang WYA). I used to be very insecure about it but thankfully I got better at loving myself (still working on it but I'll get there eventually). I'm also getting a tattoo on my upper left arm very soon (inspired by Kafka's Metamorphosis because yes) and hopefully some more piercings (I only have triple lobe for now). my hair's light brown and very short, I buzzed it back in August and I'm growing it out. Yes, I do have a terrible case of bed head. I also trim my eyebrows to be very short, makes it easier to do my makeup. Almost forgot to talk about my eyes, but basically they're blue-ish green and usually overshadowed by the huge dark circles I have. I don't dress according to one particular style, although I enjoy being in full goth fashion, makeup and all. I would probably describe my style by 'satanic grandma' because as much as I love my band shirts and inverted crosses, I also cannot live without my extensive collection of grandpa sweaters and ugly ties.
4 - I'm an introvert - and an awkward anxious ball of nerves at that, but I don't mind stepping up to the task in social situations if the people I'm with are not comfortable ordering food/asking a question. I usually am very cautious of how I act with new people I meet as I am autistic and don't want to 'scare them off' or make them uncomfortable. However, if we vibe, you get to know the still anxious but also very silly me. I especially love coming across other people that are on the spectrum, because we usually have a certain understanding of each other's way of acting and just be silly together. Speaking from experience with my closest friends, at least (not generalizing autistic people !!).
5 - I've been hyperfixating on Ghost for a good while now, but apart from that I'm very much interested in art. Learning about it of course, but also making it (I'm in art prep class rn and it's kicking my ass, send help). Drawing, writing, taking photos, making zines and stuff... hopefully after prep class I can get into a proper art school and study illustration, and maybe look into becoming a graphic novel author. My favorite artists would probably be Dora Maar, Gustave Doré and Gustav Klimt tbh. I also have an interest in geopolitics and history, especially in the Middle Ages' witch hunts and black death, but also in more recent topics such as the satanic panic. Basically all things occult and satanic. I also love internet horror media such as ARGs, like My house.wad or the Hypnagogic Archive. Music taste wise, I listen to everything, but my favorite genres are hard rock and metal. I'd say my all time fav artists are Ghost, Slayer (South of Heaven walked so that Year Zero could run, change my mind), Iron Maiden, SOAD, Twin Temple, Radiohead, alex g and Mitski.
6 - I'm a huge cat person but I also very much love crows and rats and reptiles and overall all the animals that would seem weird to keep as pets. Also I love love LOVE having deep conversations about complicated philosophical topics at night in a calm spot at a party or smth, specifically while drinking off-brand soda. Idk why I included this, I just thought of it and I'm too tired to question how my sleep deprived brain thinks right now.
Sorry again for the huge wall of text, y'all are the best !
Have a good day/night !!
This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.
Your match is...Copia
He's all for helping you love yourself, he'll kiss any part of your body you are insecure about and everyday he tells you how amazing you look. The thing that really makes it work is that he means it, you can see the sincerity in his expression.
He can also be an awkward anxious bundle of nerves. But what is so cute is that both of you try and step up for the other in social situations. You see Papa Emeritus IV come out a lot at those times.
You vibed immediatly with him it was just an instant connection. He just got you, and you him. He treasures that so much.
He will help all he can with your art class prep. Like whatever you need. If you want him to just keep you company he's there, if you need models he'll get his rats to pose with him (it's just adorable). Or if you need to work super hard he'll bring you food and drinks to keep you going.
Sometimes he joins you but drawing isn't his strongest skill so it's a good giggle, he can laugh at his mistakes and he enjoys seeing you smile at them. Other times he'll sit and write songs as you work, he wrote one about you just the other day.
He got so excited when he found out you had an interest in the middle ages, witch hunts and black death. He literally squeaked with joy and you discussed it long into the night, while drinking lots of off-brand soda.
He also finds some really cool books for you to read from the clergy library, occult, satanic panic and so on, it's all there.
~
Written by Nyx
#anon#ghost band x reader#ghost band#ghost bc x reader#ghost bc#papa emeritus iv#copia x reader#copia#papa iv#match up event#match up#papa emeritus iv x reader
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So, I’m feeling Very Trans™️ tonight, and I realized I have never really written out my gender journey, or tried to put it all together chronologically. I think it would be nice to do that, so here we go.
I was in high school in the early 2000s in very rural Georgia. There weren’t any openly gay kids, let alone any openly trans kids. I can’t recall ever hearing the word nonbinary until after college.
Despite having no frame of reference or language for anything to do with gender, this is how I looked in high school.
I can remember getting tagged in that photo on MySpace and feeling what I can now identify as gender euphoria, but I didn’t have language for that. I just felt like I looked so *good,* but I couldn’t explain why I thought that. Now I’m like, hey bro you look pretty androgynous there, so maybe that was it.
I can remember begging my mom, from about 7th grade on, to let me cut my hair short. I cut out a photo of a very short pixie cut from a magazine that I kept as my inspo photo for like…five years? I had it stashed away in my box of keepsakes (I actually still have it) and I looked at it all the time. I just wanted to look like that model so bad and my mom was so firm on not letting me cut my hair that short. She was worried I would look like a boy, and I couldn’t understand that fear. My brain kept asking itself “who cares if I look like a boy? It doesn’t matter.”
She finally let me cut it the summer before my senior year of high school, and that is the first time I can remember feeling gender euphoria.
I loved how I looked and how it made me feel. My daily outfit of choice was usually “boy pants” and something very…gender neutral on top? I rarely wore dresses or anything hyper femme, but I never went hard in the other direction. It was all vibes, baybee.
I started growing my hair out when I started college. I went to an extremely small, extremely conservative Pentecostal college still located in rural Georgia, and there was a lot of unspoken expectation to be a “cool church girl.” For those unfamiliar, “cool church girls” were “edgy” because they had nose piercings and wore makeup and pants. They had “hippy vibes” while being hyper-religious. For the first time, I felt like I stuck out in a very bad way. Somehow, the gender expectations of my college were way worse than those from high school. So, I went in hard on that vibe, because I lost all sense of self.
These photos suck because it was the early 2000s and THAT’S JUST HOW IT WAS. In that particular picture I was also very much in the clutches of an eating disorder, so obviously there was a lot of self and body hatred happening in that person.
I got married the summer before my senior year of college. I was t w e n t y years old (it’s 9 and a half years later and I’m getting a divorce…soooo 😬). I was still so deeply immersed in this hyper feminine imagine of what a good Christian girl looked like. I was miserable for a lot of reasons, not just related to gender, but not unrelated either.
(That’s a candid of me like an hour before I was supposed to get married. Staring into the middle distance and dissociating a little 😅)
So, I got married, and then I thought, “okay, I did the thing, now I can go back to being this more comfortable and less feminine version of myself, because I successfully got the Ring Before Spring. No need to pretend any longer. So I chopped my hair off and instead of paying attention in class I fucker around with Snapchat filters and edited beards onto my face.
I remember my husband at the time messaging me after I posted that selfie on Facebook asking me to take it down because it “made him feel uneasy and uncomfortable” to see me looking like that, even if it was supposed to be “funny.”
That same year, for my big senior paper for my capstone class, I chose to write about why gender affirming medical care was the most compassionate and moral thing a Christian physician could ever offer to a patient. I was starting to wake up to issues of gender and sexuality insofar as how they related to larger society. As I learned about trans folks, I felt a deep yet confusing sense of empathy for how miserable it must feel to be in a body that doesn’t feel right, but to essentially have no medical options (especially at the time), to feel more affirmed in their gender.
I wrote that it is the responsibility of every physician to heal, and traced it back to the disciple Luke, who was often referred to in my school as “the first doctor.” I pulled out scripture references about the unrestricted love of god along with how preposterous it would be to deny care to someone who had a “more acceptable condition.” I think at the time I used cleft palate as an example. I wrote that it would be monstrous to deny reconstructive facial surgery to someone with cleft palate (if it was something they wanted), but if a trans woman wants facial reconstructive surgery in order to look more feminine, suddenly everyone has a huge problem.
At the time I still firmly identified as a cis woman, but it was while writing that paper that I remember having my first conscious thought about my gender. I thought to myself, “this…really all makes sense to me. Uh oh.” Then I shoved those thoughts and feelings into a box that I didn’t touch for almost a decade after that.
The next three pictures represent the “my egg is about to crack but it hasn’t yet” period of my journey. I went back to being hyper femme for a long time, and ended up with really long hair. I got pretty obsessed with makeup and makeup culture, and usually didn’t leave to do anything significant without a full beat. Eventually that waned, and I started to get this restless feeling that I sometimes got. I felt that I needed a change, because I wanted to look…more like myself? I just knew I wasn’t happy with the current state of things and something had to change. So I dyed my hair…a lot.
That felt good for a long time. But the restlessness returned in full force.
By that time, I had fully deconstructed Christianity and had been out of church and Christian culture for years. I had accepted my queerness and come out to most people, and was also practicing polyamory. I realized that so much about me had changed in a way that finally felt authentic, and yet. Something still felt like it wasn’t right yet.
I had gained a lot of language for gender expansiveness by then, and had a lot of experiences with being around trans folks, really for the first time in my life. Existing closely with people who threw all concept of gender out the window and reformed it into something that felt good to them made something click in me. Finally, f i n a l l y, it made sense to me. I wasn’t a girl, and I never had been. I wasn’t a boy either, and I didn’t want to be one, at least not in the stereotypical binary type of way.
I slowly started talking about maybe being non-binary to the people I was closest to, and while the first reaction was a solid dose of surprise, when they actually processed it 100% of the people I talked to said something to the effect of “oh that makes a lot of sense, actually.”
So here I am now, Very Nonbinary and very very very rarely femme. A lot of times I lean toward a trans-masc-ish identity or way of presenting, but it changes so much that a more specific label feels pointless.
I’m happy, finally. I don’t know where my gender journey will take me, but what I do know is that I fully have the freedom to go where I want and continue finding who I am, and that feels goddamn good.
Bonus for those who got to the end: me in the seventh grade dressed as Henry David Thoreau for, and I cannot emphasize this enough, *literally no reason.* there was not a school project or presentation, there was no assignment. I just wanted to do it, so I did it. The fact that I didn’t question my gender earlier frankly just confirms that I have always been the biggest thembo of them all.
#me#blog#nonbinary#enby#gender#gender journey#trans#transgender#transition story#they/them#trans masc
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This has now taken over my life. Sorry not sorry. Also what do you mean 1k is not a microfic? It is. A @wolfstarmicrofic, to be precise, for the prompt digital. Read the first parts here: Swing and Mountains and Castles.
Remus slumps down on the sofa, glass of wine in one hand and his phone in the other. Teddy was asleep, worn out after a busy week, and he finally had some precious alone time. The TV was on, showing one of the many crime shows that seemed to be on constantly, but he isn’t watching. Instead he’s scrolling on his phone.
Remus had never been much for social media, he had never bothered with the latest technology and had it not been for Cas he’d probably still have his very first smartphone. When he and Teddy moved, however, she’d bought him a new iPhone as a moving away present.
“We need to be able to keep in touch somehow, and I don’t trust that old brick of yours,” she’d said, her face determined, and Remus had learnt not to argue with her when she looked like that.
Truth was, he was grateful. The phone was sleek and easy to use and, he’d discovered, the camera was amazing. He’d already taken hundreds of photos, mostly of Teddy. Teddy in front of their cottage, Teddy in his new room, Teddy and his Ma making lemonade in her kitchen, Teddy on his first day of school. Then, more frequent lately, Teddy and Harry: on the swings, on the beach, in their garden, building a fortress out of pillows, in the playground.
And, then, also, because it simply couldn’t be helped, Sirius. Shirtless on the beach with his trunks slung low on his hips and dark shades covering grey eyes, Sirius pushing Teddy and Harry on the swings, Sirius with his head thrown back laughing at something Teddy and Harry are doing. Strictly speaking, Remus knows, slightly too many photos of someone who was supposedly only the guardian of his son’s best friend.
He shuts the app for the photo library, a guilty sort of tug somewhere in the pit of his stomach. No, this won’t do. He cannot be lusting over Sirius fucking Black, no matter how ridiculously attractive the man is. He can’t do it to Teddy, it wasn’t fair to risk anything coming in between his friendship with Harry. He needed something else, a distraction.
He lets his finger hover for a moment over one of the dating apps that Cas had made him download (“You can’t hide forever, Rem, it’s about time you get out there again and this is perfect for you. Everyone’s using apps these days, no-one goes out to pull. It’s all digital, babe.”). He feels a twist in his stomach, these apps always made him uncomfortable. He hated the idea of faceless, nameless men looking at his photo and swiping past him. And even though Cas had helped him with the photos and his scars were barely visible in most of them, it only made him feel dishonest and he still felt just as uncomfortable all the same.
He heaves a sigh, a frustrated sort of noise, mostly at himself. He needs to get a grip, there is no point sitting and feeling sorry for himself. He opens the app with a bit too much force, as if wanting to prove to himself how determined he is. This particular app (he can’t really tell them apart even though Cas had tried to explained the difference between them to him) seems to be focused on people somewhat nearby.
He swipes, left and right, but his heart isn’t quite in it. The men smiling up at him from his phone all blend together after a while – muscled bodies (usually shirtless), wide smiles, suggestive poses. Climbing mountains, fishing, swimming, paddling. He’s just about to close the app again when someone familiar catches his gaze and he feels his mouth go dry. Black, sleek hair, piercing grey eyes, a crooked sort of smirk on pink lips. Fuck.
Remus’ stomach sinks. Of course Sirius Black would be on a dating app, and of course he’d look like a million pounds. Remus should swipe no, instantly, because he couldn’t swipe yes, but somehow his thumb isn’t listening to him anymore. Instead he finds himself flicking through the photos (Sirius shirtless in front of the mirror, Sirius in the woods, Sirius by the sea, Sirius on a boat, Sirius with his arm flung over someone’s shoulder, laughing at the camera).
Remus feels something flutter in his chest. He should swipe no. He should most definitely swipe no, not yes, but also, a voice in the back of his mind (who sounds suspiciously much like Cas) tells him, what if you swipe yes and he has too, and you’ll match? If he swipes yes and Sirius swipes yes then, well, then that’s alright, isn’t it? And if Sirius swipes no (he will most definitely swipe no, because, well, because) then he would never even have known that Remus ever swiped yes and he could just forget all about this.
Remus takes a deep breath, drains what’s left of the wine, and before he can change his mind he swipes. His heart stops and he forgets to breathe and the second it takes for his phone to buzz and chime with a cheerful “It’s a MATCH!” feels like it goes on forever. Remus stomach drops out as he stares at the phone, Sirius’ face grinning up at him before it makes way for a chat window and Remus is vaguely aware that he’s in full on panic mood now.
This is a mistake, he thinks, numbly, tossing the phone away from him. This is a terrible, terrible mistake because what is he supposed to do now? What if Sirius had only swiped yes as a laugh. Yes, that must be it. It must be a mistake. Or some sort of joke. Remus stands to make his way over to the kitchen, refilling his glass of wine. He can hear his phone ping from the other room and it almost makes the wine slosh over the edge of the glass. He closes his eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. This is ridiculous. He’s a fully grown man, a father, not some lovesick teenager.
He returns to the sofa, gripping his phone again. He takes another couple of gulps of wine to steady himself slightly, heart hammering in his chest even if he pretends it isn’t. His thumb hovers over the little thumbnail with Sirius’ face before he takes a deep breath and opens the message.
Sirius: well hello, fancy seeing you here
#wolfstar microfic#muggle au#wolfstar muggle au#sirius black#remus lupin#sirius/remus#sirius x remus#wolfstar#sirius raising harry#remus raising teddy
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LOVE ONLINE ! —
★彡CHAPTER 8彡★ : D-DAY (WRITTEN)
★彡pairing(s)彡★ : gamer!heeseung × gamer!fem!reader
★彡warning(s)彡★ : profanity, cringe, heeseung is a perv!, lots of gaming references esp. league, NSFW
★彡based on彡★ : real life! fun fact: this is actually how me and my long-term boyfriend met — with some modifications.
★彡a/n彡★ : as always, reblogs, likes, and comments are very much appreciated. feel free to give me your feedback and critique.
The sky is quite and bright today. The trees are swaying slightly, creating that soft noise they make whenever the leaves would brush against eachother because of the wind.
Yet here you are, cooped up inside your bedroom.
It's clash day and you feel your blood pumping relentlessly as excitement coursed through your veins.
Clash isn't necessarily a big deal. It's not like some LCK, LCS type of shit where there's money at stake. But the image of your bambi-faced mid-laners lips in a pout because of defeat, makes your heart churn.
You were scared you might fuck it up.
"YN? Are you ready?"
There it is. The same voice that has your heart fluttering and your stomach jumping into summer salts. You have no idea why your body is reacting in such a way around him but it does and you can't deny it.
Maybe it's how he's so gentle with you but at the same time, funny and embarrassingly cringe.
The contrast amazingly suits your type of man and it just so happens that he's also impeccably hot.
From the pictures he's sent you and from the ones he posted himself on his social media accounts, you can't help but wonder if he was more handsome in person.
You know how certain people look better in real life? Yeah that's probably him.
Photos can't capture just how pretty he is.
"Baby~" He says, calling out to you.
what
You jolt, mouth opening in shock and cheeks turning a feverish red.
Did he just call you baby?!
He should be in jail for almost causing you a heart attack.
"Not that you wouldn’t bail him out in a heartbeat..."
You clear your throat, moving the mouse to unmute yourself, "Hi Hee, sorry" you say sheepishly, the shyness in your voice is still there.
"It's alright, YN" Heeseung says, chuckling as he finds the tone of your voice amusing. "Have you opened your client yet?"
"Y-yeah I have" you stutter.
You obviously haven't recovered from the B-word yet.
"Well what are you waiting for, you dumbass" Jake yells out of the blue, his voice piercing your ears. He entered the discord call all of a sudden without you noticing so his voice catches you offguard. "You need to lock in before we queue up, shit face"
You roll your eyes at your friend, shaking your head in amusement “There, Just did it. You happy?”
“Yes, actually. Very” He says in a smug tone and all it does is make your eyes roll once again.
A few minutes pass as you wait for the others to join in the call that you’ve made. Once they have, you make sure that all of you have locked in. Yhe queue timer starts and you can't stop the sickening grin on your face as the others continue to talk in the background about the game plan.
You shift the screen to show the enemy teams stats and it seemed like all of them were around Platinum to Masters; most of them having sub-par win rates with their main champions.
You were confident you could beat them as you were ranked Grandmaster last season in your main account in the OCE server but failed to reach Challenger because you didn’t have enough time to play because of school. The account your using now is only a few months old yet you had managed to climb up to Diamond in such a short span of time.
That achievement alone speaks for your skills because the Korean server is known for its toxicity and how easily players surrender there. It makes it difficult for players who's champion pools rely on scaling because they would give up early on in the game if they aren't hard winning the game.
The screen turns black as it takes you to champion select. Jake was the first one chosen to ban a champion. “What should I ban?”
“Just ban for your lane” Sunoo says “Or you can ban that guys Zoe”
“Yeah, but they might pick Zilean and dude, I don’t wanna play against a Zilean support” Your best friend complains.
“Yurh, I agwee. The wevuves are foo op (Yeah, I agree. The revives are too op)” Heeseung butts in; voice coming out muffled.
“Heeseung, are you eating right now?” You ask, giggling.
It takes a second for you to hear his reply, guessing that he was trying to swallow his food. “Yeah, I am. Problem?”
Laughing, you reply with a curt no.
“Aight Zilean it is”
The drafting phase passes with you being satisfied with your selections and now your in game.
You're playing a champion named Gwen. Gwen is a meelee fighter champion that relies on stacking her auto attacks in order to deal more damage and to lifesteal.
Sunoo, your jungler is playing Viego. A fighter that can become the enemy champion if he killed or participated in killing them.
Heeseung is in the mid lane and he's playing his infamous Le Blanc. Le Blanc is one of the hardest mages to play in League as it requires a lot of technical and mechanical skill in order for the champion to be effective.
As for the bottom lane duo, Riki is playing a marksman named Jinx. Whereas, Jake is playing his Thresh.
Your slightly nervous as laning phase begins because in all the years you’ve played League Of Legends, you’ve never actually played clash before as you and Jake were the only ones in your friend group that played, meaning that there weren't enough people around to make a team.
However the excitement you feel rules it out as your honestly just happy to be playing with your friends.
You spot the enemy jungler on the map as he makes his way towards your lane but you aren't afraid however, as Sunoo is there hiding in one of the top lane bushes, ready to turn on the enemy team.
Heeseung also moves his way towards top side to assist the both of you after had shoving his wave; making it crash on the turret.
You let the enemy team land a few abilities on you, letting them think that gou were alone as walk towards the bush where your jungler is hiding and when they dive onto you, Heeseung flashes forward and stuns the enemy jungler while Sunoo focuses on the enemy top laner.
You and Heeseung were able to kill the jungler as it was a 2 vs 1 fight. However, you watch as the enemy top laner comes out alive with only 100 HP as Sunoo didn't get to deal enough damage to kill him.
"Aish! YN, tank the turret for me. I wanna kill this idiot"
You chuckle. "Sure, Sun. Just don't grief it" you say, letting the turret take agro on you as Sunoo dives the enemy top laner in his own turret, killing him.
"Good job, guys" Heeseung compliments as he recalls back to spawn, wanting to buy items.
"YN, help me get Shelly" Sunoo says. "Lets hurry while top laner and the jungler are both dead"
You obligue Sunoos call, leashing him to kill the first Rift Herald of the game.
"Hyung you mind placing it here? I'm losing too much cs here because of this Kai'sa" Riki asks.
"You're literslly a Jinx how are you losing that much cs but sure, wait for me. I'll be there in a bit"
The whole game continues on nicely, making sure to choose the team fights you take wisely and taking objectives. The enemy team were clearly unsyncronized and lacked proper decision making skills, resulting in their enevitable defeat.
You win the game, dealing the most damage in your team with 51k damage, and securing your spot in the next round.
The games continue on after that and the 5 of you continue to display your team work and macro. There were games where you though you were going to lose but in the end, won them anyways.
Overall, you guys finished 2nd place as you weren't able to win against the last team of players but you weren't upset. Instead, you saw it as a huge success since this was only your first time playing clash
Right now, all 5 of you are in a call alongside Jay, Jungwon, and Sunghoon who decided to join the voice call for a few minutes, congratulating you on your performances.
The 7 of them chatted with one another while you stayed to yourself, listening to their laughter and the jokes they would throw at eachother.
"Hey, YN" You hear Sunghoon say.
You hum in response, letting him know that you're there.
"Do you think Heeseung hyung has a chance with you?"
Your mouth slacks open at the unexpected question. You can feel the apples of your cheeks start to heat up and Heeseung starts cursing his friend out.
"What do you mean?!" Sunghoon exclaims. "Don't act like you don't wanna know either, hyung"
"I-I— Shut up, you penguin!" Heeseung stutters.
The guys erupt in laughter at that. "Really hyung? Penguin?" Riki manages to say between laughs "That's the best you could do?"
Heeseung groans in embarrassment, making you laugh as well. "Fuck all of you" he curses out. "You too, YN"
Laughter bubbles up in your chest even more as you fake a gasp, seeming offended. "Me?! Why me?"
"What do you mean why you?!" he exclaims.
You only reply in fits of giggles, finding the situation awfully amusing.
"Alright, hyung that's enough" Jay says. "So YN..."
"Yeah?" you reply.
"What's your answer?" The call is quite now as they await your answer. Heeseung especially since you reply will determine the direction of your relationship.
Honestly, he shouldn't even be nervous. All the signs and flirtatious comments the both of you have been exchanging with one other for the past 3 weeks were supposed to be sure signs that you liked him back.
But still, he couldn't help the way his hands starts to sweat and how he can hear his heart start beating a little bit louder than usual.
"I'd say he does"
★彡previous , masterlist , next彡★
uhhh this chapter is a bit harder to explain League terminology wise. I'd say iyw you can skip like the gaming part of it but I'll try to break it down for those of you who want to understand!
In clash, the moment you lock in, it'll automatically book you a match with a random team in your elo. Basically, think of it like brackets. you're up against a team rn and theres also a game happening in another bracket, which will determine the next match up. If you beat a team earlier, you have to wait for the other brackets match to be over.
shelly is a nickname given to the rift herald commonly used among casters and players.
LCK, LCS is the name of the primary LoL competition in South Korean and America.
I'm not going to explain the champions in detail lol I will diee(#($*÷¥=
send an ask to be in the taglist or fill up this form!
TAGLIST [OPEN] : @lhsng @jakeisnotafurry @meowmeowhoon @tomorrowbymoa-together @sunsunu @enhacolor @sd211 @bloomedberry @soobnism @amarillyis @rionah @purplebearheart @nikipedia07 @togesgf @daiyuvrs @msxflower @arizejkt19 @kimmchijjajang @love4heejake @sophhloaff @caty-catts @diestheticu @rrvvby @lalalalawon @kyukittie
#enhypen au#enhypen imagines#enhypen heeseung#enhypen#enhypen x reader#enhypen smau#love online#enhypen scenarios#enhypen fluff#enhypen crack#enhypen sunoo#enhypen niki#enhypen jay#park sunghoon#enhypen jake#enhypen jungwon#enhypen sunghoon#lee heeseung#lee heeseung fluff#lee heeseung smau#lee heeseung x reader#romance#aespa#aespa karina#aespa winter#aespa giselle#aespa ningning#idol!au#kpop smau#kpop
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top five concerts you've been to?
(just top concerts if you havent been to five)
GREAT QUESTION!! i have a lot to say abt all of these so sorry for my ramblings in advance but in no particular order we have:
1. MCR Boston2 - its hard for me to pick my favorite of my MCR shows but the setlist for this one juuuust pushes it over my first show i think. got to gear sooo many of my faves that night- SCARECROW and Deathwish and Summertime and Boy Division and Best Day Ever and Cancer!!!!! they played a lot of danger days song which obviously i fucking LOVED and idk something abt Famous Las Words really got to me that night. maybe its bc even tho our seats were kinda shitty that meant i could see basically the whole crowd as well as the stage and i just remember feeling so at home like "oh yeah. you all understand too huh?". i was also dressed as party poison that night so a lot of cool people came up to talk to me lmao
2. Set It Off at the Palladium for the Dopamine Tour - my most recent time seeing the boys AND MY FIRST TIME MEETING THEM!!!! they were all so sweet and they played an acoustic version of Bleak December which had me Felling Things. AND THEN THE SETLIST FOR THE SHOW ITSELF WAS INCREDIBLE AND THEY FUCKING PLAYED MISS MYSTERIOUS WHICH US LIKE MY FAVORITE SONG EVER OF ALL TIME AND ID RATHER DROWN WHICH IS ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVES AND FUCKING ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD WHICH WAS MY ANTHEM IN MIDDLE SCHOOL- and also Scene Queen opened and she was fucking spectacular and im really glad i lost my dad in the crowd before her set bc i lost my shit screaming along with her sings and he Did Not need to hear that 💀
3. Fall Out Boy at Darien Center - first time seeing fob the seats were so fucking good and i met so many cool people AND HEARD HEADFIRST SLIDE AND YOURE CRASHING AND 27 AND GET BUSY LIVIN AND- also i was at the park connected to the venue and i fucking left before the rest of my family to get some rest before the show. and literally as soon as i get to the fucking hotel my dad texts me a picture of PETE FUCKING WENTZ. IF I HAD JUST WAITED LIKE TEN MINUTES I COULDVE MET PETE WENTZ BUT NOOOO I WANTED TO REST SO J WOULDNT GET A HEADACHE IM STILL NOT OVER THIS MY DAD WHI DOESNT LIKE FOB SAW PETE WENTZ AFTER I HAD BEEN JOKING ABT JT ALL DAY GOD HATES ME BUT ITS FINE BC AT LEAST I GOT TO LOSE MY SHIT TO HEADFIRST SLIDE ONLY SONG EVER OF ALL TIME
4. Set It Off at Toad's Place for the Welcome to Elsewhere Tour - yes of course they're on here twice idc if theres other vands i could mention THEYRE THEM. this show was incredible, i managed to push my way almost to barricade by the end of the show AND i caught one of zach's guitar picks!! the openers were both killer too, but Cherie Amour in particular stood out to me so obviously i bought a CD after their set (which was SIGNED and i got to meet/take a photo with Trey and Brendan and they were both so nice it was awesome)
5. The Used & Pierce the Veil (i forget where this was and im too lazy to look it up rn 💀) - VICS VOICE LIVE HELLO????? HOW DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT IM IN LOVE WITH HIM RAAAAGH- and look even tho i love ptv im much more of a casual fan when it comes to them so it was nice bc i had fun during their set but still had so much energy left over for THE MOTHERFUCKING USED. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW LOUD I WAS SCREAMING WHEN BERT CAME ON STAGE MAN AND GE WAS HOLDING A TRANS FLAG WHEN HE WALKED OUT AND THAT ALONE NEARLY MADE ME CRY THEY WERE SO AMAZING IM VERY INCOHERENT ABT THIS SHOW BC I LOVE THEM SM IT WAS SO FUN AND I CANT WAIT TO (HOPEFULLY) SEE THEM AGAIN NEXT MONTH
#asks#ask game#SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I TRIED TO KEEP IT SHORT SO I LEFT A LOT OUT BUT MAN I LOVE CONCERTS#AND I WILL USE EVERY POSSIBLE EXCUSE TO YELL ABT THEM#HONORABLE MENTION IS MCR UNCASVILLE BC THAT WAS MY FIRST TIME SEEING THEM AND THOSE WERE THE BEST SEATS OUT OF ALL THREE TIMES#AND I BRUISED MY PALM WITH HOT HARD I KEPT HITTING/GRIPPING ONTO THE GAURDRAIL#the used#mcr#ptv#set it off#fob
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your aesthetic always was interesting to me.
can you do those aesthetic photo explanations you used to do with a before and after you found your style?
That is a great question, and I figured that you would ask this eventually. I can do a comparison for you.
Disclaimer: If you wear the style I previously wore, I still favor the style very much, just not on me, it doesn't match my "vibe" anymore, per se.
Much like the color palette at the top of the page, I have gravitated to more muted tones as I've gotten older. However, for a good period of time, I enjoyed bright, bold colors, on oversized clothing or extreme darks that made me look unapproachable. I felt as if it hid flaws I was highly self conscious of, while making me stand out enough for people to either look towards me-- or on the contrary, so dark that they would view me as invisible.
popname.cz : pinterest
Yellow was a big color factor for me at this time, and to put it at a more ranged value, this would be around ages 17-19. For writing purposes, we'll call this period of time the (y) period. Get it? Because Yellow starts with a "Y"...? Okay, I'll stop.
During the (y) period, my style matched that of my behavior and social group of the time. I felt righteous in this small rebellious period I had after being compliant towards academics for so long. Similar to my musical evolution, this was the period where I listened to the most rock. And I still have the playlist on my Spotify to refer back to (and listen to when I need to be in the mindset to remember this area of my life). I had been trained to hate my body due to mediocre, druggy, significant others and this influenced me into buying clothes that were two-times my size to hide my figure.
(EX: At the time, I wore M, and would buy XL)
But like most busy bees, my yellow coat had a contrast and it was black. I had graduated high school, and was finally young and free. To fit into the social group I had at the time (and to complement my god awful behavior), I had made my wardrobe look like if I wanted to disappear into the shadows of a dark alleyway? I could.
My church clearly loved me.
tumblr::pinterest
By the age of 19, the end of the (y) period, I had gotten sick of the people bright colors had drawn towards me like a moth to a flame. In no way is this saying those who like bright, bold, colors are horrible people, it was just the people that I had notice ME because of these colors that were horrible. So, ridding of it entirely, I just wore black for the remainder of that age. This was also the age I had gotten bodily modifications done, some stuck, others didn't.
As if it wasn't noticeable already that I liked women, I can ensure you, it was a smack in the face now. I had gotten snake bites, a rendering tattoo sleeve that serves me today as a shrine of my favorite horror movies, and a tongue piercing because I thought it was funny. Ear gauging had also taken place, but that started when I was 13 due to it being a thing my family does as well and it's going to stay until I die.
But despite my minorly edgy clothing and the blasphemous way I wore my jewelry, that Machine Gun Kelly phase hit me like the meteor that struck the dinosaurs when I entered and exited the situation ship with my ex.
Introducing the p(ink) period.
hipland.co :: pinterest
This period is the shortest.
I will forever and always be mad that this phase left me. Pink as my favorite color was an amazing experience and if it was a human, it would be the affair I'd have in my office. I have nothing bad to say about this phase of my life. By this time, the tongue piercing had left me due to me being a biter and accidentally ripping it out of my tongue.
The p(ink) phase was so liberating because I believe that was the year where I absolutely didn't care about anything (except college but I pretended I didn't) and lived life care-free. But I was 20, and I'm now 21, so obviously that reality didn't last long. But this introduced browns to me and I soon realized that-- wow, I really like the color brown.
This is where my current style started to come in, I suppose. Because I had dropped everyone except two people in my life, 2022 was ending and I felt a real shift begin to happen in my life?
Enter what we'll just call the (A) period.
void::pinterest
I would also like to touch upon the masculine clothing I've been using since we're finally somewhere more current. This isn't a gender thing, there was a point in my life around the (y) & p(ink) period where I thought it might be a gender thing, but it isn't. I am just built like my father, and though I have feminine features, masculine clothing has just always fit my body better. I've never been one to try and willingly fit into spaces as masculine energy, but with the way I dress myself, I understand that it's in human nature to look at me and subconsciously see me as masculine so I don't mind or get offended at this. And honestly, the term "sir" gets thrown at me so many times I don't even notice it anymore. Until I open my mouth obviously and they're like, "That's a woman!!" [quote: random barista at local coffee shop].
But anyways, browns were very easy to pair with light colors such as white's and beige's. But this was the biggest period where I had thrown most of my clothing away (it was really donated, but you get the point). And little by little, I had began to introduce these muted tones, and an overall different style into my life. I had invested in more collared shirts, trousers, blazers, sweaters, etc.
Something about this had made me feel more put together. More me too, in a sense. This came with a lifestyle change too, obviously, gone were the days of just doing whatever I wanted just to avoid responsibilities in my life. However, I missed the darker tones I used to wear so they found their way back to me eventually.
I'm not a big T-shirt person unless its a solid color with no design, I'm not a jeans person unless I'm wearing a white T-shirt, I have casual shoes I've kept from previous phases for the sake of color options but I mostly wear black boots now. I've found I favor turtlenecks, and clothes that fit my figure instead of being wildly oversized, and trousers I can match a good belt to.
I can give you a flurry of example photos, ready?
Bam.
luxuryandvintagemadrid.com : pinterest
Boom.
void::pinterest
Pow.
nana : pinterest
Okay, that's it. Hope it helped. :)
bisous,
A.
#anon ask#dark academia#long post#light academia#aesthetic clothes#my hearing aids match my outfits#about-A
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You know I gotta ask for either Toki or Pickles for love hcs❤️
[Love HCs]
And you know I gotta give ya both! This one's long lol
Pickles / Toki
Pickles
When they discover they’re got a crush:
He'll bring it up in passing when hanging out with the guys, just float a casual 'so whaddya think of <name>?' as one, an excuse to talk about them, and two, a gauge on whether or not he's the only one thinking about said person. He doesn't like the idea of competing with any of them for someone's attention again, as it tends to have disastrous results. *This is assuming he doesn't have his eye ON one of his bandmates, in which case he might still bring it up but to a select few in a more private setting*
How they confess/hint:
A little bit by accident when he's drunk. The whiplash from sweet to possibly joking is enough to snap necks; one moment he's waxing poetic (albeit slurred) about their smile, their laugh, and next it's 'nice butt, it'd look better ahn my floor...no wait.' The second part is the most important though, if he can kid around with someone and make them laugh, he's absolutely smitten
Big gestures of love:
So you know that scene in PRKlok where he's presenting an award? He's pretty showy about it, throwing big parties in their name or dedicating events (winery openings?) to them. Probably has a special strain of weed cultivated and named after them too. Mostly he wants to spend as much time together as possible...and maybe embarrass them a little bit along the way. Definitely writes and performs a cheesy, 80s style rock ballad for them at one of the aforementioned events.
Little gestures of love:
Pickles takes tons of photos of and selfies with his s/o and keeps one as his phone background and another in his wallet (he's old school); he makes room in a dresser drawer for their things, HE CLEANS HIS ROOM? No but a klokateer does and he actually keeps it sort of tidy. Backrubs. He's big on physical contact, he'll pull his partner's legs into his lap when they're lounging on the couch or slip his hand into a back pocket when standing next to each other. It's a little possessive.
How to win their heart:
Show him genuine affection.
How to break their heart:
Compare him to someone else. Even if it's not done in a way that suggests he doesn't measure up, he'll take it as such and then the inward spiral of doubt begins until it festers and he provokes a fight to break up. Pickles hates being dumped so he's determined to beat them to it. He'll break his own heart.
Tiny little turn-ons:
Patchouli and cinnamon scents—but also natural body odors so long as they're not incredibly overpowering or offensive, leather, aggressive driving, watching someone skilled working with tools or knives.
Big turn-ons:
When his partner gets flustered and blushy, fooling around somewhere there's a risk of being caught. Pressing them or being pressed against the wall.
Things that make their heart flutter:
Homemade munchies, secret notes left in the fog on a bathroom mirror. He melts when his partner lights his joint/cigarette for him.
Their type:
Loud. Not necessarily in volume (but also not not that kind of loud), someone who has a big personality and a strong sense of self. Pickles comes from the glam world, so he likes big hair, bright colors, crazy fashion, tattoos and piercings, bring it all! They also have to be able to keep up with him when things get wild, or at least have a good handle on their own limits because he Does Not Slow Down and maybe it's best if one of them can walk a straight line to bed.
Ideal date:
Hibachi (he fuckin' LOVES watching them cook and bang their utensils around, and will absolutely want to catch food flipped at him) then going out dancing until the club closes, a late-night dive and a limo ride home. Partition closed 😉 smoke a bowl and pass out in sweaty, sticky glory.
Past relationships:
He got married very young to someone he met after moving out west, and it lasted < 6mos. Luckily it was before SNB blew up and he wasn't dragged through a ton of lawsuits that bled him dry.
How they might affect current relationships:
There's very little chance of ever seeing his ex again (the klokateers have a profile on them and don't allow any contact, though it hasn't been an issue in years) but the experience soured Pickles on the idea of marriage.
‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc):
Continuing off the last hc... Marriage is out. At least for legal purposes; he's got a lot more to lose now when things go bad, which he assumes is inevitable, based on that example and his parents being miserable together. Pickles is still perfectly happy to be in a long term, committed relationship, but marriage probably won't happen. Same with kids, with similar reasoning. He wants a partner in crime who doesn't judge him for his vices, someone who will ride the party train to hell with him...and maybe secretly, someone to pump the brakes when he isn't able, who can temper his wild spark.
Toki
When they discover they’re got a crush:
Boy has a crush on everyone, honestly, at least briefly. He lives in a land of daydreams as well, and his current interest usually plays a role in these. When his fantasies change from roller-skating-down-a-rainbow-into-a-pool-of-chocolate-pudding-while-holding-hands into something domestic like washing the dishes together before settling in to catch up on a tv show, then he knows he's got it bad.
How they confess/hint:
Straight up blurts it out. No subtlety, no playing coy, just a statement of fact. And a lot of giggling.
Big gestures of love:
SO. MANY. GIFTS. Insane things too, like a massive sculpture based on a picture he drew of them riding a unicorn together, an island where only his s/o is allowed to go (he forgot the clause that allows him to tag along so he buys the next nearest island too), a flock of colorful, endangered birds ("cuz dey ams so beyootifuls, just likes yooou") Aside from in-your-face material offerings, the biggest way he shows his love is through trust, especially concerning opening up about his past.
Little gestures of love:
He's a gifter through and through, but his smaller gestures are more heartfelt. Art and jewelry he makes himself, tiny trinkets he picks up on tour that reminded him of his person. Sends good night and good morning texts.
How to win their heart:
Give him the chance to prove himself, and if he messes up, give him another. Similar to opening himself up to trust someone, he wants to be trusted in turn.
How to break their heart:
Make him feel unimportant.
Tiny little turn-ons:
Seeing his partner in cute/nice clothes or pastel colors. He's a sucker for a big chunky sweater. Soft hair and smooth skin, cuz he's very tactile and will be touching both obsessively. HANDS.
Big turn-ons:
Getting to be king shit. He loves having complete control, giving orders and being addressed as 'sir.'
Things that make their heart flutter:
Pet names and inside jokes. Holding hands. Watching his partner sleep. When they help apply or remove his corpse paint.
Their type:
Self-described as not caring what someone looks like, he still has certain preferences. Either likes a partner who is much shorter (pocket sized, cute, easy to carry around) or much taller than he is (who doesn't appreciate a shoulder to rest their cheek against when hugging? Not to mention the excitement he gets behind closed doors, forcing someone who outsizes him to look up at him 👀). He gets drawn in by pretty eyes, a nice smile, and the promise of mischief. As a goofball, he likes someone who can match his playful energy.
Ideal date:
It's gonna be an all day affair. Toki would rent out—or possibly purchase—an amusement or water park so there's no line for anything. Meals would be on site as well, with entrainment from an animatronic animal band. Souvenir photos, face paint, the works. Then a changeup, somewhere upscale for drinks. Who cares if kitty whiskers don't meet the dress code, that's what being famous is for, right? End the night with video games, maybe fool around, maybe just cuddle. No nightmares after a day like that.
Past relationships:
He couldn't have one when he still lived at home, and by the time he left and got swept up with the band, there was so much going on he didn't have time. Toki has little to no experience dating.
How they might affect current relationships:
Unless Ladymates decides to come back for him, he's probably in the clear.
‘Goals’ in a relationship (marriage, kids, a house, etc):
Toki wants to get married but goes back and forth on the idea of kids. He's said he doesn't like them, but really he doesn't like other people's kids which he's pretty sure is different. On the other hand, there's a real fear of perpetuating the cycle of abuse if he can't control his rage. Ideally his partner will understand the miles and miles of work it might take to get to the point where family is an option and be willing to put in the work alongside him.
Any other love headcanons:
Believes in soulmates
#hc asks#toki wartooth#pickles the drummer#trying very hard not to let my ships influence these but i know i slipped there a couple times 🤷🏼♀️#i have asks for nathan and murderface too and ill try to get to those soon#yall like this one lol#thanks! 💜
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Meeting a Red Hot 2
Some sexual implications
You wake up in your bed with the sheets thrown a bought and your body in some weird yet comfortable position. You were still in your clothes from the night before, and you had a massive hangover. You don't bother checking the time and instead go to take a shower only to realize that only your drunk self coulda made this kind of mess. Ignoring the mess and the fact that you put dirty clothes back on after showering last night, you go to get changed. As you took off your pants, you realize you had over $200 dollars in cash. You decide that you would have to ask Killer what stupid shit you did last night to earn so much money and just pray that naked photos of yourself didn't mysteriously end up on the internet.
After another hot shower and some painkillers, you head out of your room and upstairs towards the living room with a mask on your face. Killer was probably at work since he had several jobs to help pay for your aunts hospital fees. As you turn the corner, you see you loving aunt watching some tv while folding laundry. She had breast cancer and was currently going through treatments that seemed to be working, but it lowered her immune system drastically. This had Killer insisting that he do all the shopping and anything to do with outside of the safety of the house, as well as also made him extremely conscious of anything he may bring into the house. Even you would not leave your room and roam the house without a mask on and a bottle of portable hand sanitizer clipped to your belt loop. The house was even remodeled for her sake.
The old gang came over a few years back along with your family, and all pitched in to make it so that the entire house was specialized for her safety. The second you open the front door, there is the basement stairs that lead to Killer's room, a lounge area, and your room, which was a spare. To the other side of the steps is a bathroom and the garage. Once you go further, you will see the kitchen that opens into a living room along with another bathroom and finally a hall that leads to your aunts private room, bathroom, and study.
"(Y/N)!" Your aunt beams at you from her spot on the couch. "I heard you went a little crazy last night!" OH god. Your aunt may seem nice now but she was actually a part of a biker gang that caused havoc across the country until she got pregnant with Killer, that's when your mom, her sister, took over and even continued on with her travels with your dad until you had to eventually go to school. Apparently, your aunt had a very dangerous birth, and she lost a lot of blood. Ironically, his nickname of Killer is because whenever the gang drives through, they come say hi and ask how the little killer is doing. It was a joke in poor taste, but it fit well with the people sharing it.
"Did I? Cause I woke up with a hangover and 200 bucks in my jeans. I remember nothing." She giggles at you and pats the area of the couch next to her. You sit down and start helping her fold the laundry.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. You kept your clothes on and still got money, that's more than I can say when I was your age." She had such a bubbly personality that it's hard to imagine she is the same person as the girl in the photo next to the tv with half her head shaved and piercings in every possible place.
"But... What exactly did I do?" She just smiled at you for a moment. You could tell she was thinking of the best way to tell you, or more like the most embarrassing way. Just as she was about to say something, you hear the engine of a car pulling up front. She lights up and starts moving to the kitchen to prepare some food.
"What perfect timing! Killer and some of his friends are coming over to work on that old Ford in the detached garage. Bring them some food, and maybe it will jog your memory." You see her intentionally reach around the glassware for some plastic dishes she had around for when the more rowdy old friends stopped by for a visit. She quickly grabs some cold sodas from the fridge and sets them on a tray before quickly setting some cookies she always has baking on the plastic plate.
with a small giggle, she hands you the tray before rushing back to watch her show. You knew you were going to regret doing it, but Killer and his friends would rather starve in that damn garage than come in and wash up before going to deep into the house. You sigh and head to the garage door. Most of the time, it was open and filled with tools. The detached garage was just a few feet from it and was decked out in heavy machinery needed to work on a car as if in a professional environment. You could hear them as you exited the house. They seemed to be arguing.
"Dude, she was so drunk she is still asleep! I know you're the type to flirt and then leave them high and dry, but not with my cousin!" Killer seemed upset beyond belief, and he was talking about you. What the hell did you do?
"Flirt and leave? You're joking, right? If anything, she was the one to do that." A rough voice argued back, and you had a horrible feeling that you knew this voice.
You finally get close enough to see the usual group Killer hangs out with, and as soon as your eyes connect with your secret crush, you drop the tray of food and drinks. It all came rushing back, and you could only stare at him wide-eyed for a moment.
"Fuck me." You sigh and mutter to yourself in disbelief. Your aunt was right, you kept your clothes on, but if you didn't hear Killer and snap out of it in time would you really be able to still say that?
"Gladly." Your head shoots up from its place of looking down into the palm of your hand and you notice Killers glare at him. You feel your cheeks burning and you quickly crouch down and gather the spilled food and drinks on the tray before robotically turning around and going straight back inside.
"Bad wording bad wording BAD WORDING!" You keep mumbling to yourself as you do. You hear his chuckle from behind you followed by a loud smack sound. As soon as you get back in your aunt had already prepared another tray with cookies and soda, this time with her normal glassware.
"So you remember yet? Killer said you were dared to kiss Kid." She giggles as she turns to see your face that was probably as red as Kid's hair.
"I remember, but it looks like Killer didn't get the full story after I left." Her already beaming face lights up even more and she sits at the kitchen table and excitedly pats the seat next to her. You trudge over to the chair and sit. "I may have been dared to kiss someone, but they didn't specifically tell me who... I just had to kiss... the hottest guy in the room..." You whisper the last part. She squeals and starts to clap her hands together.
"Oh you are just like me and your mother when we were young! The rough looking ones are always the most fun!" You bang your head on the table and start to moan. None of this helped your slowly returning hang over, especially hitting the table with it, but you didn't care.
"I can't believe I kissed him!" You cover your face. "I mean I liked him since I first saw him, he is the sexy red hot I get the pleasure of having as eye candy, but he's Killer's best friend! You don't just do that!" You hear your aunt giggle again and you move to lift your head up and glare at her. This was not funny, but your plan was interrupted as you saw the same four guys who were suppose to be outside just outside the kitchen with masks and gloves on. This of course included the man himself and your cousin.
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Hi love! If you’re still doing ships, could you do one for me?
I have medium length dirty blonde hair with a bit of a wave and I’m 5’0. As of right now I have my septum and nostril pierced, and a tattoo on my thigh, but I want to get more tattoos and piercings. My style varies a lot, but most consistently it goes between emo and hippie it just depends on my mood and the weather. I love hiking, I’m heading to the woods later this afternoon for a hiking and camping trip with my sister. I also love music, I play a little bit of piano, I’m learning guitar and I used to sing in my high schools choir. I also love to read, I’m really into romance novels at the moment. I currently go to school for business management, formerly nursing but I came to the realization that it was not for me at the beginning of this year. I work as a certified nurses assistant in a nursing home, I love it but some days it is very draining. I’m also working as an intern for a music festival in my area this summer. I’ve been told that I’m a very caring and loyal person. I am very shy, and don’t like to draw a lot of attention to myself. My love language is definitely quality time, I don’t mind physical touch but there is a point where it’s too much sometimes. I’m not opposed to words of affirmation either.
Heyyyyy!!!
I ship you with….
Jacob Thomas Kiszka…. Sir
I think your little edgy style is attractive to him. How many interactions have we seen that he loves tattoos and obviously lives in anything black. Then he gives us a little granola/Italian mafia style when he wear his ‘exclusive’ linen, hasn’t-been-washed-in-months outfits 😂😂
All the boys seem to love being in nature. For Jake, I think the solitude and peacefulness of it hits home. With all the commotion and hustle of his lifestyle, he needs time to ground himself. There’s no doubt you could help him with that by going on silent hikes. Not a lot of talking, just taking in the beauty of the world around you.
Jake would find your musicality sweet. You may only dabble a little bit, but it’s almost like your stepping into his world when you play the piano or pick up a guitar. It excites him…. lights his eyes up. I can see him doing something across the house when you decide to sit down and brush up on your piano skills. He hears the beautiful music faintly and decides to investigate. He quietly finds you and admires from a distance, being careful not to disturb you. He’d lean against the door frame in awe. Once you catch him, he come sit next to you and praise your performance ✨
I can see Jake being supportive of whatever career choice you make. There’s no doubt nursing is taxing and draining (trust me, I just graduated nursing school 😩), so his comfort and attention is much appreciated at the end of the day. Transitioning into business, Jake would remind you of all the opportunities you have in front of you! “The world is your oyster,” he’d proclaim! Who even says that?! All I know is, Jake would 😆
Your traits are so complimentary to Jake. He seems to be exceptionally loyal and considerate to everyone. His dream is really all about giving back to others, in the form of music. He also seems to be the enigma of the group 😂 so often mysterious and flat, behind those sunglasses. I truly think that’s a persona masking someone so marvelous 💙💙
Quality time seems to be in line with Jake. He seems like the one that needs the most down time when he’s home. The other boys are often photographed out and about… up to trouble. Jake would rather much stick close to home and relax with his woman 💘
I hope you enjoy this!!!! Let me know 😇😇
(You have no idea how long I searched for that tattoo photo 😂😂)
#greta van fleet#gvf#gvf ships#gvf imagine#greta van fluff#greta van fleet imagine#jake gvf#jake kiszka#jakekiszkaship
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delilah green
sirius black doesn't care [wip]
part one | part two
“Well, I’d appreciate you throwing me a bone here. I’m not very good at this.”
“This?”
Remus sighed, cheeks burning. “Flirting.”
“Is this you flirting with me?”
Remus was going to die of embarrassment. He looked down and bit the inside of his cheek, about to turn to leave, when he felt a hand on his forearm. He followed the trail of ink to the man’s face, nearly missing the wink he threw at him.
“I’m kidding,” the man assured him with a smile. “I know exactly what’s going on here.”
“You do?” Remus replied a bit dumbstruck, caught in the man’s piercing gaze. “So you’re…”
The man leaned forward, his knee brushing Remus’ thigh, his lips brushing his ear. Remus’ breath was shallow, hitching at each point and moment of contact. “I am,” the man whispered.
Remus closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat, letting out a breathy, nervous laugh. “That’s um… good,” he began. “Good to know, I mean.”
The man pulled back, but only just. Remus could feel his warm breath fan over his cheeks, smokey from the whiskey. The man’s eyes were dark, his pupils were dilated, no doubt matching Remus’ own. “Is it?”
Remus felt his cheeks burn; he sheepishly looked down, surprised that this seemed to be going so well. He was about to say something more when he heard a familiar voice behind him, back toward where Peter was sitting.
“Where’s Remus? Is he stuck babysitting again?” Regulus asked, standing beside Peter and taking Remus’ abandoned glass from the table and downing the rest of it.
Remus turned his attention back to the main, who was also following the commotion behind them. “That’s my, um, friend,” Remus explained. “He’s getting married in two weeks. Bit on edge.”
“Oh yeah?” the man replied, leaning back and away from Remus, who pathetically missed the contact already.
“Yeah,” Remus continued, pausing to take a nervous sip of his whiskey. “He’s marrying a real… well, she doesn’t seem that great.”
The stranger’s eyes widened and he smiled knowingly. “Oh no?”
“No, well… me and Pete don’t really like her, but he’s our friend so…”
He heard Regulus’ voice, a bit raised and aggravated, float over from behind them. “You’ll never believe what my brother did,” he ranted. “Well, no, you probably will. It’s just like him to…”
Regulus’ brother, Sirius, moved away from Godric’s Hollow as soon as he graduated high school. He was a year older than them, but they lived in a small town, so there was no escaping the Black brother feud. Sirius was different from his family, he always had been, and he, in Remus’ eyes, was the only one brave enough to question his parents’ strict and frankly ridiculous standards. When Orion Black, their father, died of a heart attack, their mother only seemed to tighten the reins. Regulus didn’t understand why his brother couldn’t just play along, why he always had to go against the grain. Their relationship was strained at best, a tumultuous fiery disaster at worst. So when Sirius moved away, Regulus didn’t talk much of Sirius to Peter or Remus, but they knew he missed him. Deep down… somewhere.
Remus hadn’t seen Sirius for ten years or so. He knew he was meant to be coming to Godric’s Hollow for the wedding festivities. The Blacks were always trying to keep up appearances, but Remus sort of thought that Regulus secretly wanted his brother to be there for him. Not that he would ever accuse him of that out loud.
The last he heard about Sirius, he was off in New York as a fairly successful photographer. He may or may not have googled his photos that was showcased at a few small galleries in Brooklyn last year. Still, he hadn’t seen Sirius since they were kids and…
Remus’ eyes shot down to the suitcase and back up to those familiar gray eyes. “Wait…”
“There you are Remus,” Regulus said, clasping a hand on his shoulder, but as he approached he caught sight of… “What are you doing here?” his voice was tight.
“Hello, brother,” Sirius grinned.
#my wip#wip#wolfstar fic#delilah green doesnt care#sirius black#remus lupin#lizpaige#the marauders#harry potter#wolfstar#marauders#eventual jegulus#fluff#james potter#sirius black doesn't care
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15 Questions!
tagged by the shrimply fantastic @not-nervous-jester (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*)
1. Were you named after anyone?
…my first name is partially after a dog. yeah.
A show dog that my paternal grandparents bred and showed, so not just some random pet, but still. A dog. At least my full first name slaps so it’s not that bad.
I share a middle name with my paternal grandma not the biggest fan but I digress and I’ll be changing that to one of my chosen names (Asteroid) to keep the initial but also make it Mine yk? Orig just is Not the vibe for me. And also I keep forgetting if it’s spelled with or without an e (it’s without lmao)
2. When was the last time you cried?
Two days ago! I absolutely fucking hate crying and it’s taken me until the last few months to really. Be able to more freely. ‘Cause I’d repressed it all so heavily that I just straight up couldn’t 😌 My beloved beef is very patient and very kind in helping me though
3. Do you have kids?
Nope and absolutely never thanku very much
4. Do you use sarcasm?
Me? Sarcastic? Never! Can’t believe you’d ever think that
(……/s)
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Honestly? Visual appearance, I’m very quick to pick up on anything interesting like tattoos or piercings or what they’re wearing or their hair or eyes / mouth / makeup or jewellery etc etc. Not in a judgemental way at all, I just really like looking at people ??? that sounds weird. it is a lil weird. that’s fine it’s not mean or gross weird. I’m very much a complimenter too so if there’s something I like about you or what you’re wearing or if you’re just. really really pretty etc I’ll just. Say it
Online is probably things like your own lil spelling and grammar things (like u or you or if you capitalise stuff) and if you come across as kind / kinda dickish. Also your ✨aesthetic✨ if there’s one available to be perceived
6. What’s your eye colour?
Dark green?? Green-hazel?? Not to be that annoying person but truly struggled answering this for my photo ID card— asking four people got four different responses from dark blue to brown and they’re absolutely Neither of those so like. Shrug. Whatever you wanna call this one
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
I’m an absolute lily livered pussy assed lil baby WIMP so scary things can be very very good and very fun HOWEVER I’ll be making distressed noises and hiding behind a pillow and jumping and flap stimming when it gets even a lil too much
8. Any special talents?
god I wish uhhhhh floristry maybe? Not to toot my own doot but some of the pieces I turned out were fucking BANGERS
9. Where were you born?
I fell to this planet during a meteor shower, I was barely formed with no one but the worms and beetles for company until my parents unearthed me from the dirt after the fae requested their assistance in finding me
jk I was evicted in a hospital about half an hour away from here
10. What are your hobbies?
uhhhhhh running my damn mouth, thrifting and upcycling, amateur photography, silly lil outfits and makeup looks(? Does that count?) I’m trying to get back into art as well??
11. Do you have any pets?
Yes!! Technically Diva’s the only one who’s Mine tm everyone else is family owned but two cats (Brave— 3yo rescue fluff, and Diva— 11yo Burmese), two dogs (Tripp and Chia) and a yellow budgerigar called Chicken or Special Budgie
12. What sports do you play / have you played?
*horrified noises*
I played volleyball and netball in school though that wasn’t the worst
13. How tall are you?
5’2. on a good day. 🥺
14. Favourite subject in school?
English, science and art (specifically visual art and wearable art in highschool)
15. Dream job?
Is “pretty twunky femboy faggot living the dream with lots of people adoring me and giving me lots and lots of money just for looking pretty and being fun” an option? If so how do I get there and where do I sign up
That aside. I’d absolutely fucking love to work at the museum doing science communication and conservation work!!!! Particularly I’d love to specialise in the space / minerals / animals / plants / natural sciences sections. Absolute dream absolute goal
also because I’m not necessarily like smart enough to actually Work In Those Research Fields and that’s fine!! I’m glad about that because it means far less Huge Gigantic Super Smart Studying but there’ll always be a need for conserving and protecting materials and communicating all the super smart shit into Normal People Understanding yk??
Tagging: @chupacactus @nofeelingisfinall @turtles-on-turts @eye-scream-girls @blackbeardskneebrace @cononeills @ipomoea-batatas @enbiosaur no obligation as always 💕💕
#this was fun!!!!! kissing u jams#if y’all wanna see my flower shit or anything lemme know#should I make a pinned post bio?? maybe#idk if I’m popular enough for that KDHDKDBFKFB#I rambled so much I’m sorry if this took up like ur whole dash#well. half sorry y’all following me should know by now that I talk so much when I’m feelin chatty#mercury moments#tag game
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September 15/Fri:
Woke up around 11:30, was motivated to get something done today.
Looked into how to optimize LinkedIn and clicked some new photos (none of which I felt is as good) but I still added one of them to my LinkedIn profile
Got v anxious v fast as I saw I am not eligible to apply for any job as my skills are below subpar and had a breakdown
I did apply to some places and got rejection mails p soon
The whole afternoon I cried, it's like a routine now to cry in the afternoon
Again my partner reassured me that it's not the end of the world and I still have time, I'm v burnt out so doing such stressful things will make me have more meltdowns and that I should rest properly
After the encouragement and lots of love from them I felt lots better
I then hyperfixated on Yoongi for a while and had a mental monologue about how Yoongi 's songs are so deep despite him appearing so non chalant.
I ate lots of sweets yday, more than 5 pieces of thick milky sweets and that caused my head to spin real bad but I wasn't able to sleep and felt again v depressed
I've been taking medications properly, now that my mom makes me take it religiously and won't go till I have and it but the feelings of great despair and helplessness doesn't go away and I have to fight with myself to not feel that way.
My partner has been telling me to take therapy frequently ans it might help as they feel it helps them, so I should look forward to my next session.
I played Pogo the whole afternoon toll mom suggested I should go to swimming as it's been a while and my membership lasts till 12 October, which was a surprise.
I thought I've not been doing any physical exercise so I should go and also it's nice to swim and hopefully due to my exercise my periods will be regular.
I shaved my legs and got in my swimming costume, blasted *Crossed* while playing pogo on my way to swimming pool. Just when I was about to enter a bird pooped on my shirt, it was drizzling a bit so I help my hand out and that's exactly when the bird decided to poop
The poo didn't hit my hand but was on my chest area and there's a school beside the swimming pool place and all the kids were like ew and I felt v embarrassed by I think I handled it v v welln
I wiped the poo and didn't really react much and went on my way.
I reached ten mins early to the swimming pool but I took some time to fix my costume and wear my cap.
The goggles I have is really bad idk why, I'm unable to see anything when I wear it, yday I noticed some scratches, I'll investigate it more and see wtf is up with it.
Swimming after a whole month was hard, I had very less stamina, I could only do 12 laps, usually I go for 16-18.
There was a v sweet thing happened yday where two kids, one 4th grader called Di and 5th grader called Gi came up to me to talk while the swim sesh.
Gi and I have waved at each other and had skme tiny brief talks, she asked me if my septum piercing hurts and she said her nose hurts everytime she sees mine which was funny and told me back then that she was in 5th grade.
Gi and Di both came to me and asked whixh grade I am in xD, bless their heart tbh it's so sweet and I took some time to answer, I first said I'm not in any grade to which they got a bit confused and then as they are kids and won't understand I'm unemployed and all the follow questions if have if I told them this would be bad so I said I'm working in Amazon ( it's been 5 months since I resigned) and they were like ohhhh so you get Amazon things for free? Can you get us something and it was v sweet and funny.
Then these two started splashing water at ecah other while I did one lap and after I rested next to them one of the kiddos splashed lots of water on me and as they are kids it was funny that tiny kids splashing loads of water on an adult, so I allowed it and was joking around that oh no ill drown xD
And they were splashing more and more water to whuxh I splashed back some and they were having fun wuth this and whenever I splashed water they'd turn away so that they don't get splashed directly on face so I swam under water and popped up right next to Di and splashed lotsa water and she was Owo how? It was funny nice and funny
Then both the kids started asking me to play around with them instead of swimming as it's fun whne I'm there and it was really sweet so I obliged. They did their childish shenanigans and when the bell rang indicating it was 7 already we got up and the kids asked me to walk home with them
The younger one, Di asked me if I'll come tomorow and I jokingly said no I can't, because you splashed so much water on me I'll get cold and she got v scared and said no no I'm sure you'll not get cold, and seeing her distressed I said haha jo, But she wasn't like content so she held her tiny pinky out and asked me to pinky swear I'll come tomorow and I did and cuz I did this with Di, Gi also made me pinky swear with her and now I have to go to swimming today else they'll be upset
Idk why I think so much, I started thinking what will happen after I stop going to swimming, will they be sad cuz I don't want them to. Plus I just am a bit worried that I'll not get much exercise done now that I'm stuck with kids, let's see how it goes...
I was v v excited to tell my partner about all this, but not on text, I wanted to hear them laugh and giggle so I texted them I'll tell em all during the nightly video calls and they were excited but I was more excited to tell if to someone right then and it was not night yet, so I told mom ans she laughed but I have been trying not to talk to mom much as our relationship is v dysfunctional ans she's extremely controlling and when I confront she says hurting words and abandon me to deal with damage. It makes me realize it's the first time ever that I'm keeping things both happy and sad from her due to her reluctance to hear me out without dismissing and abandoning me when I need and then tell me leave trauma and past problems in the past lol.
I had tea whole telling her the least amount of retail about the kids shenanigans and mom got some dhoklas and a cashew sweet which I ate.
After that I studied for 48 mins, I realized how much more I need to study and do more projects to get a hang of the concepts, it took me so much time to replicate one simple web page and it kinda geared me to study regularly.
Was called for dinner just after that and dinner was a sensory night mare, weird texture veggies and fish and it was really overwhelming. But I had to eat so I can take my meds.
Took meds at 9:36
After coming to my room I tried studying for some more time till it was ten and then we videocalled and I told them the whole thing ans we laughed but it seemed they were very sleepy and I wanted so bad to hear things from them more, to spend more time but I wanted tu be a kind partner and ask them to go and sleep and I think they saw I'm being a bit upset and they were like nope I'm tired yes but I wanna talk to you now.
One tiny hurt in me starts branching spreading into a whole big disaster but I did my best to control it.
They said they wanted to send me another sleep story vn and I was like please don't bb, you sent me so many of them so I want to completely cherish it and then out of guilt I told them please don't put so much effort in sending the sleep recordings, it's so sweet that you do but I don't want you to exert yourself and it hurts me and to this they felt extreme guilt and said I send em so you relax and feel happy and not be upset, please don't think I'm putting lots of effort into it and hurting myself, I enjoy doing it for you and you deserve it. You deserve the best love and I'm giving you that and I was on the verge of tears from all the kindness and love but also vv upset with myself for not stringing the words correctly and yet we resolved that thing and they were so eepy, I asked them to sleep please and they agreed and we exchanged our kisses and love.
I love them so much, I really want to marry them, have the rest of my life with them and for that I need to heal and not cry a lot and also fix my thinking and work on my dreams.
I slept p soon after that
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