#also fuck seizures
Text
begging to be punched worked also got punched in the tummy over n over n slapped 🥰🥰🥰
#i also maybe a seizure during lmao apparently n came to to him doing chest compressions with no clue where i was or how i got there 4 a sec#but i begged him to keep going n punching n slapping me tho n he said such hot things when he forced his cock in my ass#he said youre covered in blood fucking grow up#ughhhhhhh it was so hot i almost threw up on the last punch to my tummy ngl#snap got a video of me showin my face better rn n ill show the inside of my lip in a bit#he was only choking me for like 3 secs normally n then i started convulsing or however u spell it#but kinda hot ngllllll#batbaby
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
if you think there should be an upper age limit for holding office your politics are based on finding the right people to discriminate against and you're annoying. there are other far better ways to determine if a person is competent enough to hold office
#lowkey weird as fuck how y'all are super cool discriminating against disabled people as long as theyre old#the mitch mcconnell thing is making people stupid. first of all that man was absolutely having a seizure or TIA or something#i mean fuck him and if he dies thats a ok with me but first of all thats kind of scary no matter who it is#and 2nd of all its absolutely not exclusive to old people#old people are also like human people with needs and interests to protect. less diversity is literally never the solution#what we need is more people of ALL ages not just no old people whatsoever lmao what the fuck is wrong with you people#youve seriously never met a mentally competent person over age 75?? i knew a guy who died at 94#and couldve handle the presidency up until like age 92. dude was sharper than most 25 year olds#conversely i know 27 year olds who are less mentally and physically competent than mitch mcconnell :/#to be clear tho i also think 18-35 year olds should be able to be president because fuck it am i right
46 notes
·
View notes
Text
#what the fuck#we finally found something that works#but god forbid I have a vagina#ALSO IM A SEX REPULSED ACE#WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK#chronic illness memes#chronic pain#epileptic seizures#actually epileptic#epileptic#living with epilepsy#epileptic problems#epilepsy#spoonie#spoonie memes#spoonies#chronic migraine#seizures#fuckin bullshit
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
dogma didn't want to do a portrait but tup and kix made him… and there's only so many flashes he can take before it looks like war.
#this took forever ... hopefully that won't be a recurring thing...#fuck#anyway. MUCH self-doubt and frustration aside.#this is from my No Order 66 AU!!#the massiff is Exo and she's here bc Dogma got reconditioned after Umbara#it didn't stick but... well. reconstructing your brain to nothing will have effects even if you DO remember who you are.#her tasks are DPT and interruption and fetching help when needed#for dissociation/meltdowns/ptsd flashbacks/etc#and also crowd control (give him space sometimes!) and finding Dogma if he wanders off while dissociated#and a few other small things that that follow the same principals#(she can do a bit of retrieval--not really her thing but she was trained a bit in it)#(Dogma keeps wanting to have someone teach her to help w/ tup's seizures but rightfully everyone tells him no.#Tup will get his own service animal if he needs one. and he denies one for now.#dude you had a chip erode part of ur brain and then had experimental surgery that fucked u up but okay. fine. have it ur way!)#anyway she has her longer spikes filed down for safety during DPT. it's completely safe--like cutting fingernails!#OKAY yeah thats it. hopefully some day i'll WRITE this au. xoxo mwuah#saleucami au#clone trooper dogma#dogma#clone trooper tup#tup#clone troopers#exo the service massiff#massiff#star wars: the clone wars#the clone wars#star wars#my art#mimse art
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
friendly reminder that seizure jokes aren’t actually all that funny. pretending to have seizures isn’t funny. making fun of people with epilepsy or other conditions isn’t funny.
#epilepsy#seizures#i don’t have epilepsy but I had two when I was little#febrile seizures#my parents are extremely traumatized from it#I’ve also have friends who have epilepsy#from parents with ptsd that manifested as epilepsy#I’ve also seen several grand mal seizures#grand mal seizures#it’s fucking scary.#please be respectful.
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the death of her family name.
I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.
Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.
All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:
“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”
Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.
#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die)#elizabeth woodville#woodvilles#my post#to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not)#I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way#writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about#and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually:#the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another;#her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months;#how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old);#how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress;#and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft#(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was)#the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized#what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her.#(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether)#nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens#and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented#and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened#I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be?#apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared'#and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund)#rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least)#more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead#it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly#anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break#her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it#it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall#makes for a great story tho
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay I’m glad we can cry about the vow au together, because if Thena’s going to keep remembering things when her sweet and precious Gil makes her a treat I might just never stop asking for it 😭 would love to read more, whatever you think comes next i’m happy to read!!!
"Sweetie?"
Thena looked up from her pillow. She looked particularly miserable, which made sense; she had never done well when sick. "Hm?"
Gil stepped into the guest room with his tray in hand. He nudged the door closed before setting it down on the dresser, "how are you feeling, hon?"
Thena blinked her glassy green eyes at him, "I'm sorry to make you take care of me like this."
Gil just shook his head. She had no memory of him nursing her back to health when a flu took her down hard after their first trip together. Her first cold with him as a couple when she kept insisting he couldn't see her with her runny nose and blotchy fever skin. Even when she had some bad periods that could make her growly.
She thought of herself as a real lioness, but he couldn't help but think of a plush, ragdoll cat who kept hissing at him.
He leaned forward, kissing her clammy forehead. "I think your fever's broken, at least. Did you get a little rest?"
Thena just nodded, pulling up her knees under the covers so he could sit on the edge of the bed. "Did you apologise to Ajak for me?"
"Hey, come on, people get sick, it happens," he chuckled as he patted her knees. "I have some time off to use, and she understands. They can do without me for a few days."
"I don't know how true that is," she muttered as he retrieved the tray. She straightened her legs again so he could stand it up over her lap. "Your customers will be missing out on your perfect croissants."
He grinned, offering her the mug of tea first. "And my seasalt vanilla fours?"
Thena's smile turned soft and a little shy. He was elated, though--ever since their first date and their kiss, he had been excited to see how they would continue to progress their relationship.
"Here," he whispered, adjusting the platter he had brought with him. "I made you some homemade chicken soup, nothing too heavy. I boiled the chicken in the broth, like Hainanese chicken rice. I gave you a little side of rice if you wanna dip it in the broth, but don't force yourself. Some cucumbers, but they're not pickled because I don't think it's good for you if you're sick--I guess I don't really know."
Thena tilted her head at him, her hair rustling against one of the many pillows propping her up. She kept insisting she looked awful, but he thought she looked as beautiful as always. "Thank you."
He sighed a little, trying not to make it obvious that he was mourning a time when this would be natural for them. But he adjusted the little cilantro flower he included on her napkin, "in sickness and in health, right?"
Thena's expression changed, but she gave him one of those gorgeous smiles that used all her teeth and picked up her spoon, "I suppose you're right."
Gil looked around the room, standing to pick up the extra blanket she had picked off in her sleep, as well as some pajama changes. It was hard to tell how messy she could be at times based on the polished appearance of his wife, but he liked picking up after her (most of the time).
"Gil?"
He looked back at her as he folded up the blanket. She had her big sad kitten eyes on again. "What's up?"
"You're not going to sit with me?"
His face split into a grin, even if she seemed a little sheepish about it. He knew it wasn't something she would ask easily, and obviously she had kind of just let it slip. But he all but dropped the blanket and threw himself onto the bed again. "Of course I am."
Thena settled against the pillows again after he gave her knee a squeeze on his way to lying on his side to face her. "Did you eat?"
"I grazed while I was cooking," he excused easily. He'd had some rice and a few pieces of chicken, mostly concerned with getting the flavours right for Thena's weakened state.
Thena eyed him, nudging the dish of rice he had specifically described as optional, "I won't eat it all anyway."
That was true, she tended to eat less in terms of the starch of any dish. Gil chuckled, "okay."
Placated by him picking up the rice and using the chopsticks, she continued using the spoon to sip the broth. She was delicate about it. It reminded him of the first time they'd gotten ramen together--she'd held her hair back while taking delicate little bites the whole time. He'd found it unbearably cute while he'd guzzled his back in minutes. Of course he ordered another bowl so she wouldn't have to eat alone.
Thena's eyes watered a little, but he squinted. Was it just the general sickness, was it her fever coming back, was there too much ginger? She sniffled, putting the spoon down. "I know this taste."
Ah, his sweet wife. He put the rice down gently before reaching for her hand. "I make it for you every time you're sick. You know how to make it too."
"I do?" she asked, staring at him as if he'd suggested she knew rocket science. "Me?"
"Yes, you," he reached out to tap her nose, but she leaned away from him. "All you do is add the aromatics to the pot with the whole chicken, even you can do it."
"Hm," she remarked quietly, staring at the meal she couldn't believe she would be capable of replicating.
"I made it for you the first time you were sick when we were dating," he continued, picking up some cucumber for himself. "I surprised you with it, showed up at your doorstep--very romantic, y'know."
She gave him a look, definitely knowing that she - in the story - hadn't appreciated being ambushed.
"You told me I shouldn't have and that you looked awful, but I couldn't have been more in love with you," he sighed, fluttering his lashes at her. She rolled her eyes, but he could see her smiling just a tiny little bit. "I delivered this dish and we hung out a little. You told me I would get sick, I said I wouldn't, and you were totally right, I got sick the next day."
She tilted her head the other way and raised her eyebrows at him, unimpressed to say the least.
He shrugged though, still grinning. "But I didn't want to admit it, so I told you I was healthy as a horse and couldn't make our date that week because of a work emergency."
"Deceitful," she murmured, pursing her lips at it.
"Come on, just a harmless little lie, y'know," he pursed his lips right back at her, even hitting her with his own sad puppy eyes.
She looked back into the bowl and took a loud sip. He would take that as him being forgiven. "I remember you coming over."
"Really?" he sat up straighter.
She nodded, taking another, slower, quieter sip. "No one had ever done that for me before. I was so astounded. And the food was so good it made me want to cry."
"No crying," he whispered, keeping his eye on her now, watching for tears. Not that it wasn't a chef's dream to have people cry from their food, but this was different.
"Kari called me to ask how I was doing," she smiled more at the memory as it came to her. They were coming more often and at greater length. It was nothing if not encouraging. "I told her that this very sweet guy I was seeing brought me some homemade chicken rice. She practically slapped her phone in her hurry to tell me to 'lock it down'."
Gil made a face, stroking the hair on his chin, "she's wise."
Thena shook her head at him again, but he could tell she was falling for his charm all over again. "I suppose I followed her advice, didn't I?"
So much came to mind, but Gil leaned forward to kiss her forehead again, which continued to feel cooler to the touch, "I'm lucky you did."
Thena leaned into his affection. She had gotten more used to it as they continued to explore their relationship, and he really had the feeling that she was looking for more sometimes. He would save that for a time when she wasn't ill.
"You keep eating," he encouraged, moving the rice closer to her again in hopes of tempting her.
"But-"
"I'll get a bowl for myself and come right back," he promised, sealing it with a wink and everything. His wife gave him another look of feigned exasperation, but she was already waiting for his return, preciously clutching her rice to eat with him.
#Thenamesh Vow AU#yes I love writing sickfic#yes I am sick right now what's your point?#I'm so glad you're liking this au!!!!#please never stop asking for more of it#Gil excels at the in sickness and in health#obviously#but it's not just the big deals like brain seizures and hospital visits#it's also when she gets a common cold#Thena gets all grumpy and sour when she's sick#and Gil calls her his little umeboshi#he makes dishes that are gentle on the stomach but still nutritious#because the less time Thena spends being sick the better for both of them#Gil definitely thought it was really romantic of him that first time#meanwhile Thena is like fuck I look disgusting#meanwhile Kari is like dude this is like out of a romcom or something#Kari is out here like friends to lovers slowburn hurt/comfort 100k words#Thena: I don't know what that means
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
doom days: complex, thought-provoking song providing an outspoken critique on the current political climate
bastilledan:
#personal#bastille#flash warning#shout out to the lady in the toilets at dundee who was talking about getting seizures cause the light was flickering#and i was like oh i have epilepsy as well but im lucky its not photosensitive :)#and she was like mine is :/ i hope she was ok lol#look at him go just skipping around having a great time#as he should#also im sorry but his voice/breath control must be insane for him to just be singing whilst he skips around like that what the fuck lol
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
having a lot of thoughts about eating disorders + how some of us end up developing chronic illnesses directly because of the physical effects of our eating disorders and how Cruel doctors can be about that and just trying to untangle so much shame and blame from that experience rn
#personal#vent#eating disorder tw#disability#idk. i don't quite have the words for this right now but#had another meeting with my doctor where they said yeah its your fault that you are now physically disabled for life#(literally i was chronically ill and physically disabled before i even developed an eating disorder because of CAH and comorbidities but#(they love to ignore that !)#which is like. i do not tie any morality to health and it should just be#a completely neutral statement. that my eating disorder caused other physical complications#they said i'm going to have orthostatic problems the rest of my life.#'since your gastroparesis was caused by your eating disorder that means there is no point in treating it'#which is so funny bc literally every time i see her my dietitan wants me to get a feeding tube! lmfao!!!!#i am actually doing pretty well in recovery in terms of meeting my energy needs through food. but i stopped being able to orally supplement#so my dietitan wants a tube for ARFID nutrient reasons. supplemental nutrition etc etc. and she thinks it will help gastroparesis symptoms#they also think i have osteoporosis and want to test me for that#when i had to use forearm crutches/ wheelchair because of physical ed complications doctors were SO fucking rude even though they were#the ones PRESCRIBING IT!!! like!!! you all are the ones telling me i HAVE to do this!#idk i also have a friend with permanent brain damage. from seizures in the refeeding process#and her doctors are so fucking rude to her all the time.#it makes me so mad
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna be honest i havent thought abt DBD in like a solid 2 1/2 yrs but seeing the unknown mothgerfuckner crawling up like that is making me want 2 redownload it again
#they are so fucking DISGUSTING i love it#dbd is supposed 2 be a horror game and it like royally sucked ass the past 2yrs so i just dropped it#esp being a killer all the moris were so scuffed i felt like i was being tbagged by the entity every time i logged on#but im significantly more interested in it now wtf#his moveset is also pretty chill and since im not having weird seizure/tremor time anymore i can def play killer better#excited#hrmngh choices#toby speaks#prince speaks#collective talks#dead by daylight#dbd
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
as if it isn't turbo weird to be like "you didn't watch these essential kids movies? you didn't have a childhood!" let me make things infinitely weirder for everyone present by telling the story of how my mom was the only one who at least pretended to care about my interests so when I went to show her this cool thing in pokemon diamond on my ds and found the door closed I opened it to see her having a seizure and she would have died if I didn't have a fun little kid interest moment because no one else in the house knew that was happening. and that's an image always seared in my head. you got to have fun and watch mulan but your experiences are not universal !
#there's also the fact that I would guilt people in the vein of like. how people would say someone behaving erratically#''looks like they're having a seizure'' and I'd always jump in and say oh my mom has those! and then they'd feel so fucking bad#like yeah. you should feel bad
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyone else get so so tired.... of being tired......
#i am on the highest dose of wellbutrin (as a stimulant not as an anti depressant) u can be on without risking seizures#they dont want to give me anything else because i have severe insomnia which is fair since im taking 2 sleep medications also#but even when i get enough sleep i am so fucking tired#all the time! i tried adderall a few weeks ago and i was still so tired i had to just lay down all day
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
I don’t think you ever elaborated on Iris stabbing Python in the thigh with a screw driver, care to change that ?
hm. I think I do care to change that (read more because I wrote a whole damn paragraph about that freak❗️)
well initially a damaging impact to a central part of a computer system would be like stabbing an ice pick into someone’s brain, so it’d cause almost all typical signs of a seizure; sudden muscle movement, collapsing, inability to respond coherently to input, and possible inability to breathe. Python designed himself to have extremely human responses and biological systems, so despite a lack of real lungs or muscles, all of those are still entirely possible visible symptoms. In terms of actually being stabbed, it’d have the same feeling of pain as being stabbed while the impact was just in pythons ‘flesh’ but impact with an actual motherboard component would cause an override of initial programmed reactions (in which he’d normally feel a human amount of pain and react as if physically injured due to the stimuli created, even if no key components are damaged at all) and start causing responses and stimuli more in line with a program trying to desperately diagnose, redirect, and reassign errors. In order to figure out what solutions should take place, an error diagnosis would require increased awareness of both the sensation of the stabbing, and all the created error input, probably causing signal and awareness of other stimuli to become temporarily impaired, and an appearance of either collapsing entirely or going into shock. The pain of the stabbing would probably come back at this point, after being dulled by error inputs. For a redirecting of necessary functions, he’d probably lose feeling entirely in the site of the injury, and gain an increased awareness of sensation at any other sites of key components, which then are assigned any recovery processes, and at which point, shock and seizure symptoms would wear off, but python would remain unconscious for a short period of time till all errors were repressed or dealt with to a limited extent- if he remained unconscious till entirely repaired, he’d be incredibly vulnerable to more injuries with absolutely 0 ways to defend himself. Shortly after regaining consciousness he would feel nauseous, or some similar experience, and would probably be much more vulnerable to sensory overstimulation and overload considering he has less capacity to process stimuli.
#whether this is my medical knowledge programming knowledge or strange freakish behaviours talking I do not know.#but. hm. I mean it reads like a medical report but it can also be easily read as about gay sex (unintentional but not surprising)#this is the basic medical perspective on what must’ve happened#but be aware that iris was there too and he was freaking the fuck out#most likely trying to help but with extremely limited knowledge of how#so probably just providing more ‘unwanted’ stimuli for the already overwhelming seizure type shit#and unwanted is in quotation marks for whatever reasons you think it should be ❗️#maybe this can’t be read as like gay sex at all and there’s just something wrong with#my perceptions of medical situations and analysis. but it’#it’s Whatever.#theproject.
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Does anyone else have dreams thats just you looking down at your own sleeping body and for a second the face of sleeping you is all melted and moldy or is that just me
#I dont know if this a horrific way of my brain telling me it had a seizure or not#wish it chose a different way if thats the case#also this sometimes happens when im lying in bed and i roll over and pop something#not like a joint or anything. the pop sound comes from my viscera or something#and then i see myself laying in bed in the same position but my face is fucked up#i need to run the checklist of my brainial tissues issues. does schizophrenia make you see yourself as a dead body
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
I haven't posted about Avatar in a *hot* minute, but, I have been infected with the hyperfixation again and the incessant urge to just hit Spider with the projection/trauma stick is driving me feral.
I just want to give him a shit ton of issues man. I want to make my sweet baby boy baby miserable. I love him so I have to make his life as hard as possible.
like making him absolutely unwell and giving him a list of chronic illness/disabilities (on top of the ones he already has from being human on Pandora) wouldn't fix me, but it'd do something that'd make my brain feel a little less implode-y 🤷🏻
Edit: small disclaimer for anyone who doesn't know me, I am disabled, hence why I said projection, I just feel like I should mention that, or the tone of this post feels a little uncomfy
#I think spider has earned some chronic pain#and tummy problems#and migraines#and insomnia#and a fucked immune system (cause I think living amongst Aliens and having little to no exposure to a large germ/people pool to form-#immunity from and then being forcibly dragged from his little bubble to Bridgehead and then out with the recoms and then to the SeaDragon-#through the tainui villages and then finally the metkayina village. I just *know* his immune system is one sniffle away from crapping out)#and like. he was tortured. with a brain machine. so he can have a hand tremor and absence seizures or something.#and light sensitivity. he can have that too.#and he's probably super dissociative and/or maladaptive to cope (both is good. both is very good)#and give him a rolled ankle thats like 8 years old that he never let properly heal and just acts up constantly#and nasty scars from tending his own wounds as a kid#and give him a complex with hygiene from being neglected as a kid and constantly feeling dirty but literally not knowing how to make-#himself feel clean cause no one taught him basic life skills#also. give him autism. just cause.#all on top of his massive guilt complex that makes him feel like his unworthy of life/feel like a monster 25/8#just for funsies#y'know you in a *great* place when you do this to your favorite little guys 😃🤗🫶👍#(this may be a cry for help)#(I think the scariest part is that these aren't even all my ideas. just my favorites)#spider socorro#miles spider socorro#miles socorro#avatar#atwow#I love how this is my first post back into this fandom. it says greta things about me
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
like i'm not just talking out of my ass. one of my many side job hats is helping people apply for canada council for the arts grants. he would be a fantastic candidate if he hadn't, yknow, burned that bridge
#bark bark#i'm also on disability. i have adhd. i have a tbi.#for fuck's sake i recently found out something i experienced regularly before my current med regime was a seizure if you want to go there#likely caused BY the repeated concussions! given when and how it started!#hearing him go uwu it's just impossible for me to have any other career#feels like him trying to guilt people into staying in his audience because he's disabled#and feels reflective of an entitlement that is really really off-putting
4 notes
·
View notes
