A messy summary of Ikepri Yves’ route from chap 16

Hey so it's me again lol. I know I'm SUUUPER late to the party and Nokto's route is out mah boiiiiis, but I finally finished one of the endings and I'm here to deliver them delicious spoilers so... here they are under the cut. Also, somehow more detailed than the last one but it's still as messy don't worry

also, sorry if there are any errors or inaccuracies!

So about that plot, well, some shit is going down that requires the princes to go to battle so they do that (once again, breezed through that part 😅). MC's quite worried bout Yves but he promises he'd return so they gucci.

While on the battlefield, everyone's all exhausted and full of blood on their hands, well, except for Yves. Leon and the gang noticed how he doesn't kill any one of the Obsidian soldiers and he just kept pushing them down. I think Yves was doing this because he doesn't want to kill one of his own because, no matter what he's got some Obsidian blood in his veins. Anyway, they notice a soldier about to attack Yves from behind, but before anyone could bat an eye, Licht comes to his rescue and gets injured. And yall know the drill, Yves feels guilty, yada yada.

After three days, the princes return and MC welcomes them. She noticed everyone looked messed up except for Yves, and when she called him it seemed like he didn't even hear her. MC is concerned bout what happened out there, but before she could ask some more, Jin asks her to take care of Licht's wound. She agrees, and while tending to his injury, Licht tells her what happened. He also told her there's one thing MC can do for Yves, but before he can say what, Jin and Clavis barges in the room with impeccable timing and some booze, announcing that they're gonna drink up for getting out alive so they gather everyone up lolol they rowdy af. Yves doesn't show up tho which makes MC even more worried

MC immediately comes to a realization that Yves might be blaming himself for what happened to Licht so she searches for him until she finds him in the kitchen. He still looked like he wasn't himself, so MC tries comforting him until he snappedt and tried pushing her away (I swear these two) Yves was like "yo wtf why do you even care for me I don't deserve that shit" and then that scene from the PV happens. Yves cried bout how much he hates himself more than anyone does and he wishes he was someone that ain't him. MC just stayed silent and listened to him pour his heart out ugh poor boi

Some time later, the princes gathered up again because they received a letter(?) from Obsidian. It said they want Rhodolite to send Yves back to Obsidian or else some shit will go down. They obviously think it's a trap of some sort but Yves agrees anyway so... that's decided. MC doesn't know of this until she hears from Luke. She rushes to Yves' room and saw him packing up. MC was also apprehensive about him going (or returning?) to Obsidian, but Yves just smiled and told her not to worry or smth. Also he was like "remember all that crap I told you that night at the kitchen? Sike, those were L I E S" and MC's just like "ye right" but because she was unable to form a response to any of that, she left the room teary eyed, with Yves also equally sad. MC returns to her room and while crying her heart out she realizes one teensy tiny detail: she's in love with Yves *insert surprised pikachu face*

So the day came for Yves to depart, but MC decides to stay in her room. Rio sees her in her state and told her "the MC I know and love wouldn't sulk around in her room smh go out there and chase yo mans" and after some persuasion MC heads out. She managed to catch up to Yves and talk to him for like 3 minutes. Also in those 3 minutes, she finally confessed her feelings and kissed him (Yves: 😲 guards: 😳😳😳) She's like "ye remember when I said I won't fall for u? Ye that kinda happened so I guess I'm yours for all of eternity" She also says she'll be waiting for him and gives him her memo pad before he leaves.

In the carriage, Yves reads MC's notes, there were some notes written about the princes but later they soon become notes about what they had done together: going to town, eating sum food, etc. He realizes that she turned it into a whole ass diary and it was mainly about him 😭 Yves was like "girl don't even know this ain't a diary... baka na no??? *sad princely sobbing*"

Back at the castle, the remaining princes gathered up again, this time with MC, and they talked about Obsidian's real motives. They talked about how Yves shouldn't have gone to Obsidian because the moment he interacts with them, he could or would get killed. MC was worried as she listens to them making plans and when Licht decided he would go first to retrieve Yves, he drags MC along with him because he's good at reading expressions and our girl MC here really wants to be useful to the story.

Meanwhile, Yves' carriage suddenly stops and one of his soldiers alerts him that there's a fuckton of Obsidian soldiers ahead and Yves realizes they've been set up. He instructs his men to return to the castle and leave him, also he warns them that there miiiight be some more Obsidian peeps on their way back so he commands them to get out alive. Despite their apprehension, well they had to obey Yves so they did just that.

MEANWHILE meanwhile, Licht and MC go to Obsidian (I don't recall if they bumped into Yves' army but meh) and they stay back a bit to watch stuff unfold. There, they see Yves talking to some Obsidian leaders or smth and the leaders were talking shit to him bout how worthless he actually is and all that crap. They were like "yo you're cursed with sum bad magic huh" Yves was like "Ye, I thought so too. But ya know what? I met someone who kept looking at me straight in the eye and focused on all my good aspects. That person made me stop denying myself. (MC: oh shiz he's talking about the stuff I told him before he left) So no matter how much I didn't want to accept myself, no matter how much I wished to be someone else, I mustn't deny the me that she believed in, I mustn't give up on myself! So ye. I'm Yves Kloss, the 5th Prince of Rhodolite!" YES my boi gain that confidence!!!

So the Obsidian peeps were like "btch u done with ur last words? Just so u know the men u let escape are prolly dead anyway so, how bout u die too aye? Pls die" and when the Obsidian soldiers point their blades at him, Licht decides it was a good time to show up

So ye, before Yves could take a blow, Licht blocked it with his sword. Yves was like "wtf r u two doing here???!" And MC replied with "we're saving you, duh" and Licht backs her up with "ye what she said" the Obsidian peeps were all ???? but they decided to kill them two as well. MC's like "ye no we have back up otw" but the Obsidian peeps thought she was just fronting. So Yves and Licht decides to buy them more time by fighting (but not killing) them. They may be strong but they're exhausted as well, then one soldier finds an opening and aims for Licht. Yves sees this and gets in front of Licht, getting his arm injured in the process.

They try stalling for a few more minutes until the gang finally arrives and they're relieved Yves and Licht are still alive. Jin was like "yo wtf we didn't agree to send Yves here just to get our princes killed in a place like this" and the Obsidian guys are like "we just wanted to welcome Prince Yves until he pointed his sword at us 👉👈🥺💦" but Jin and the other princes obviously ain't buying that crap.

So playtime's over and after all that political stuff, Leon's like "aye Yves, since u have Rhodolite and Obsidian blood, ur technically our bridge, so wtf do we do now?" And Yves says the four kingdoms should sign a peace treaty and also form an alliance to end all those beef. MC's happy for him because he finally achieved his dream of uniting Rhodolite and Obsidian through him. And ye, everybody agrees so everybody happy

BUT WAIT! Sariel announces that Belle needs to choose the next king at that very moment (like wtf couldn't they wait until they get home?) But hey, since they're forming alliances anyway. So MC's pressured and all until she realizes, ayo wait up... ya'll know what the kingdoms need? Not one, not two, but EIGHT leaders! "Ye fam, I appoint all 8 princes to lead the kingdoms... momentarily until I make my final decision." Sariel's like "That ain't allowed" and MC responds with "I know fam. But the kingdoms are in a pretty unstable situation, and we need these 8 dudes to support the kingdoms... after everything is settled and stable again do I choose the king" and they were like "if that's what Belle says, then aight smh" Then everyone finally goes home, but not before Yves and MC shares a moment and Yves faints or falls asleep due to exhaustion

Back at the castle, MC is summoned by Sariel and he shows her there is only one petal left of the rose. He tells her "I know you've technically done your job, but until you choose A KING, will you stay in the castle?" Of course MC agrees and Sariel tells her that he thinks she made the best decision for the situation.

After MC leaves, Yves enters the room and asks Sariel if he has seen MC. Sariel has half a mind to tell the truth, but where's the fun in that right? He tells Yves that MC's preparing to leave since she has done her job and according to the Belle clause, 'once the king is chosen, Belle can't interact with or see him forever' or smth like that and Yves was like "Screw that bs!" and ran to MC's room immediately, leaving Sariel to laugh in evil 😏

In her room, MC was worried about Yves' wounds so she decides to pay him a visit, when she hears knocks on her door that she recognizes was Yves'. He wasted no time entering the room and pinning MC to her bed (SQUEAAAAL) and she was like "??? ya good fam?!" And Yves replied "WHERE TF DO U THINK UR GOING HUH??"

(Ya know what I think imma put a bit of their convo here lol)

MC: To see you?

Yves: And what? So you can say goodbye and tell me we won't see each other forever? BAKA

MC: ...Eh?

Yves: I don't care what Sariel or the others decided. I can't accept this! MC, I can't even take it when you're not beside me... what will I do if we can't see each other ever again? Just thinking about it makes me crazy... You said you'll be mine forever, didn't you? Then I... I'm yours forever as well! Because I was the one who fell (in love) first!

MC: !!!

Yves: I love love LOVE you, you idiot! So don't go saying we won't be together! The Yves Kloss won't allow that even if the world turns upside down! (not sure about that last part)

SO YE. As much as that warmed MC's heart, she was like "i ain't going anywhere. Bruh Sariel's messing with u" and Yves is EMBARRASSED but he doesn't deny it anyway. He decides to say some more cute stuff so lemme put it down here xD

"MC, a lot of unexpected things happened in my life. But the most unexpected thing that happened to me is falling in love with you. Even though I swore I would never fall for you, I noticed I have. You said you were the first one to fall for me, but I think my feelings for you are bigger. MC, I'm stupidly in love with you."

And they argue about who loves the other more lolol then they do the deed 🤭

So some time passed, and the other princes were throwing MC some pickup lines (they were teasing Yves about taking the crown and the MC lolol) and Yves just stood there like "fam?? Aren't yall a lil too close?? Sariel help!!1! Licht and Chevalier too???" And he whisks MC away to his room. The other princes just smiled fondly at the two and Leon comments, "Maybe just meeting someone can fill up the gaps in a person's heart" and he recalls how they tried filling Yves' loneliness but somehow could not fill up the last piece. Until MC shows up and did just that. Jin was like "heh, that sounds like destiny" and Leon confirms that it is 🥺

Back at Yves' room, he has MC pinned down again and he declares that he needs to do his best to continue staying by MC's side. And MC says "me too fam" then she asks him a very important question: "Do you still want to be someone other than you?"

And he replies with:

"It's because you showed me my good traits and loved me for who I am that I don't hate the me I am now. Besides, if I were someone else, then I wouldn't be able to fall in love with you like this. It's because I'm like this, that you found me. That's why, from the bottom of my heart, I'm happy I'm me; I'm happy I did my best to live" ugly sobbing in the background 😭😭😭

So that beautiful CG appears, and Yves tells MC that line, "When I fell in love with you, it's as if the bad magic disappeared. Thank you... for teaching me what true love is."

A few days later, the two were at the library and Yves tells MC that before, he never knew what love is. But of course it's different now, because he tells her, "For me, the meaning of love is... you, MC."

~FIN~

YALL I'M STILL SOBBING BRUUUH 😭😭😭 this whole route was a blast 100/10 would read again (after I finish Nokto, I guess lolol) But ye. Yves is my best boi in IkePri because I'm a sucker for these tropes it's just so sooooft.

So I'm still undecided whether I should read the epilogue or nah because I need like 20 more affection pts? and I really wanna do Nokto's route... idk man

Well this was longer than I expected, so if you reached the end, have some more leFtOvERs from Yves! 🥧

Roswell, New Mexico’s Michael Vlamis sat down for an exclusive interview with HypabIe, and we got into everyone’s favorite alien love triangle.

Michael Guerin has a lot on his plate in Roswell, New Mexico season 2. His brother died, his sister’s husband died, he’s trying to resurrect the aforementioned brother, he’s learning more about his mother, and he’s trying to pretend that his hand wasn’t miraculously healed. And you thought your 2020 was off to a rough start!

We’re not sure how the guy is even finding time for romance, but we’re so, so glad he is. While struggling through things with his long-time-love Alex Manes in season 1, he also found a connection with Maria DiLuca. In season 2, it looks like he’s chosen to give things a shot with New Mexico’s most beautiful bar owner.

Of course, my first question was about Malex. Are things really over? What’s to come for them? “In a romantic sense, yes, this is the end for now,” Vlamis confessed. “But we actually had more scenes together this season than in season 1 where we really get to work on our friendship, which I think is what we really need.”

That’s probably not what Malex fans wanted to hear, but there’s still hope. If you read to the end of the interview, Michael Vlamis reveals his favorite Malex scene from Roswell, New Mexico season 2, and it sounds like a really good one!

Also, Vlamis revealed his three favorite songs to get into character as Michael Guerin. They are the incredibly fitting “Buckskin Stallion Blues” by Amy Annelle, “Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys,” by Waylon Jennings, and “First Day of My Life,” by Bright Eyes! If you don’t remember, that’s the song that Michael and Alex shared their first kiss to. *swoon*

Hypable: Often, different romantic relationships bring out different sides of people’s personalities. What’s your favorite thing about Michael with Maria versus Michael with Alex?

Michael Vlamis: I think with Maria he feels safe. I think with Alex there are moments of him feeling safe when they’re intertwined and in the bed and a couple moments we saw last year, but really he’s never feeling safe. Yes, his hand’s heeled now but he’s still wearing a bandana to hide that. First of all, because if anyone in the town pays attention to that they’re going to be like, “how did his hand get heeled?” but also that bandana is a reminder of the pain that he’s gone through in his life, and that pain, unfortunately, is directly correlated with Alex.

You might see a little bit of a softer side when we see Guerin and Maria coming together, and that was really fun to play. Everything’s okay. This is fresh, this is good, this is kind of my new home right now where I can come back to.

Hypable: What can you tease about Guerin’s journey to find his mother in ‘Roswell, New Mexico’ season 2, and how both Maria and Alex will be involved in that?

MV: Yeah, so over the whole season I really spend time trying to break that story and figure out what happened, which is just helping me figure out who I am, what’s my self-worth, and just kind of piecing together why I am the way I am and trying to piece together a family. Because yes, I have Isobel and Max…well, I had Max, but I never really felt like I had a family. Over the season, we’re trying to uncover this mystery of where my mom really disappeared, especially Alex. Was she in Roswell, for a little bit of time before she disappeared? Did she ever make contact with anyone?

It was fun to go back to the 1940s, early 1950s and see what life was like in Roswell back then. With the costumes and the set decorations there was a lot of fun to be had on set with that. As I am unveiling the story we see that story unveiled in the flashbacks. That was really cool.

Hypable: Isobel and Max have both begun to explore the breadth and potential of their powers. Will your character be doing the same in ‘Roswell, New Mexico’ season 2?

MV: Not exactly. Michael is playing a little bit of the victim card. He’s just been punched on his whole life, and taking a beating. And now, he lost his brother. It’s like when you go through a break up, right? You don’t care about anything else, you just miss that one person. What he’s thinking about right now is escaping, so he’s not trying to get his powers any stronger because part of him probably wishes he was just a normal guy who didn’t even have these powers. Then everything would be so much easier and they wouldn’t have had to kill a bunch of girls and stage a car accident and deaths. That’s all stuff that he doesn’t want. He was a good kid who was off the college, and then all of a sudden this changed his whole life and he’s just been kind of dealing with that ever since.

Hypable: On top of missing Max is he feeling any kind of pressure to take on Max’s role as the traditional big brother?

MV: One hundred percent. Their whole lives Max was always the hero and I think in a way, Michael, looked up to him for many years. But then when Max made the decision to cover up the murder instead of letting ourselves be exposed, I don’t think Michael Guerin wanted that. He’s a selfless guy for the most part, and he means well. I think he wanted the truth to be out there. But yeah, he’s going to struggle with that a lot and just figuring out what his new role is now especially with Isobel.

For instance, he didn’t wanna be at the church [for the funeral]. The only reason he showed up at that funeral was for his sister, so he knows deep down he has to step up and be this kind of hero savior thing, which he freaking hates. He doesn’t want that responsibility, but he knows that it’s his time to step up and play that role.

Hypable: Could college still be on the horizon for Michael Guerin?

MV: I think that’s one of those things that’s gone now, but I do think that he would take his talents and put them towards something bigger. If he’s ever able to fully escape living in hiding and the kind of prison that they’ve built around their lives. I think as time progresses, he’s going to continue exercising his talents and his mind and stepping up and not letting that all go to the wayside. But right now, he’s not thinking about that at all.

Hypable: Is he still eager to get back to his home planet, or did meeting his mom change that drive?

MV: I think it definitely changed the drive a little bit, but I also think with her being gone, and him knowing that she existed, it gives him hope. Maybe there are other family members or there’s another community of aliens still living somewhere and thriving. So yeah, I think it was definitely a deterrent. And that’s why you see him in these first couple of episodes. He seems like a guy who’s given up with the way he’s treating people, especially Maria. And also just how dirty he is. I mean, they made me so filthy this season…in like a CW hot way though.

I’m a dirty, dirty man who’s just a little hopeless right now. But yeah, as time goes on, he reels it in and tries to figure out why he’s here. Why is anyone here? Is he supposed to go home? I don’t know, I think that is all going to depend on how this season plays out, and also where his love interest is. I can see him getting his heart broken and just leaving the planet for sure, but I don’t think he really wants that if he could have that true love that he’s longing for.

Hypable: Are there any character dynamics that you got to explore more of in ‘Roswell, New Mexico’ season 2 that you were excited about?

MV: Oh yeah, it was fun doing more scenes with Michael Trevino (Kyle Valenti) this year. Obviously we’re working together to save Max. We only got a few scenes last year towards the prison shots at the end of the season where we were really together. Aside from that, it was just like me giving him a dirty look and pushing him off Alex in the flashback episode. It’s been really fun to work with Trevino just because he’s another guy who, like Nathan Parsons and Heather Hemmens, they’re pros. They’ve done this before. They’ve done eight seasons of a show.

Trevino was in my exact position where a show just comes about and changes your life. It’s really cool seeing how he navigate a set. Also, we just kind of mess with each other all the time. I mess around with everyone, but when it comes to Trevino, he’s such a confident man’s man. He wears really cool clothes, works out all the time, has a six pack no matter what he eats, so we just shit on each other. We shit on each other all the time. That dynamic really comes through when we’re working together as well.

[...]

Hypable: What are you doing to stay sane in this crazy time of self-isolation, and what do you think Michael Guerin would be doing?

MV: You know what, I bet I’m doing similar things to him. We have all these cinder blocks on a bonfire we built in our backyard and we’ve been taking those and making a home work out set up. So I’m doing prison workouts right now in my backyard, and I feel like that’s very Guerin-esque. Also, during this quarantine I’m eating healthy, I’m on a cooking routine with my roommates and that means that I’m feeling better about myself, so like Guerin, I’m just taking my shirt off all the time.

Hypable: Finally, do you have a favorite moment from Malex and MiLuca in ‘Roswell, New Mexico?’

MV: eah, I do. I’m going to focus specifically on season two. I was really, really proud of that last scene where me and Maria kissed at the end of episode two. That was a really cool scene to do. And actually, what was so interesting about that is in the episode I said “I’m sorry” to her, but it wasn’t written. Carina MacKenzie, our showrunner, came out and was like, “listen guys, this is working great. The chemistry, the passion, the love, the heartache, the hope, everything is there. But Guerin was just all over some girl in the bar in front of Maria. This is bullshit, he needs to apologize.” And so she was like, “Vlam, do you want to try working in an ‘I’m sorry,’ right around this moment?” And I did that, and I think it kind of changed the whole scene. That one little line. It made you remember that this guy is a good guy, he’s just caught up in something that he’s having a hard time wrestling with right now.

With Alex, there’s a moment at the end of the season that I actually asked the director for another take. I have so much pride as an actor, I’m just so hard on myself, I never do stuff like that. But in this one moment, I knew how much the scene meant and I asked for another take and something really special happened internally with how I was feeling. In that moment, locked in with Alex. I’m not saying if it was romantic or whatnot, but there’s a scene at the end of the season that was probably my favorite and it’ll be a lot of fun to watch too.

If you’re looking to see more of Michael Vlamis outside of his regularly scheduled Monday night appearances in Roswell, New Mexico, you can check out his recently released three-part series on michaelvlamis.com! Making it is a hilarious (and extremely well shot) series about a baby-faced Michael Vlamis and his friends trying to “make it” in Hollywood.

He decided to release the series in response to the increased demand for entertainment due to the COVID-19 quarantines. “It’s a digital series making fun of this industry, and everything that we go through.” The first episode tackles an audition process that I’m guessing is shockingly similar to his experience with Roswell, New Mexico, complete with cowboy hat and “Magic Mike abs,” but presented in a way that will make you laugh…and maybe also make you slightly nauseous. Check it out!

~ HypabIe

AKA our favorite thing in the world !!!!!!! jsjsjsjdfkjsfj I love you so much thank you for this ask @catchthespade !! I’m not replying to this directly because I wanted to add images and going right from the ask makes the layout stupid lmao. (and I fucking hate tumblr because you can’t add text between nicely bunched images and it downgrades the quality to fucking hell but here we are)…

This gets semi-N//SFW

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Okay SO. Saizo is one of the most intensely jealous characters in the game. He even gets jealous of Yukimura:

I’ll put the rest under a cut for length purposes….this is LONG [seriously] and also mild spoilers for event stories to (hopefully) come…

AND LET’S NOT FORGET 

Obviously, he is pissed but not going to hurt Yukimura in any way. I think in a lot of ways he turns his jealous feelings into teasing/poking fun at the person he is jealous of. It’s his defense mechanism and he likes to push their buttons or make them look like a complete idiot in order to ease his anxieties and make himself feel better. 

We know his jealousy goes far enough that in canon he keeps MC from screaming during sex so Yukimura does not hear it, and he also has been known to keep Yukimura and Chibi Sasuke busy in order to not be interrupted with MC. 

Saizo literally gives ZERO FUCKS about what is going on around them when it comes to MC and his jealousy. He’ll ruin anything, he’ll stop anything, he’ll make the biggest fucking scene. We saw it in his route when he swiped her up from the faux wedding. There’s another event upcoming, in which MC is chosen for a lead part in a performance (in which she must kiss the male lead). At first, the male lead chosen is Yukimura, and Saizo seems to not care one bit, he doesn’t seem threatened. And I mean, Yukimura is his bestie and he trusts him so that makes sense, it’s a play kiss with no meaning. However, Yukimura gets sick and the part lands on Sasuke (BIG ninja Sasuke, not chibi). Saizo. Is. Pissed.  He literally jumps on the stage and ruins the whole fucking things by stealing MC and running away before they can kiss because he won’t allow it. 

Now, these are all “friendly” encounters with jealousy. However. I think Saizo has a very dark side to how possessive he can be when it comes to MC. 

We’ve seen in canon him mentioning several times that he will kill men if they try to see her intimately. In an upcoming ES we see just how pissy Saizo can get when he gets jealous of someone who ISN’T a friendly threat but a random stranger. MC volunteers to help at a nearby school but the teacher ends up being a real creepo. Saizo knows it right away but MC doesn’t listen or understand and continues to go there despite the fact that she is starting to receive letters from an unknown stalker. Saizo goes into freak-out mode and keeps watch of her from a distance 24/7. He shows up at the school purposefully to send a message to the guy, and the moment he DOES end up making a move, Saizo reveals himself AND HIS SWORD. 

Saizo may be the kind-hearted softie when it comes to MC and Yukkins, but the cold and calculating, unflinching Saizo is still very much a part of him. He has no qualms with murder and death, and since he holds all of like 3 people dear to him, he will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. 

SO, what sets his jealousy/possessiveness off the most? 

When someone has known MC longer than he has/someone who appears to be very close with MC. Saizo may have met MC long ago but he wasn’t able to be by her side and he’s pretty self-conscious about that fact. He doesn’t like it when someone tries to show they know her more intimately than he does. 

MC talking about other men, ESPECIALLY when they’re in bed together or have alone time. It’s few and far between they get quiet moments together so the last thing he wants to hear is about another guy no matter the context. 

MC not listening when he tries to warn her about someone or tell her not to do something. He’s got a sixth sense for trash people and he’s usually pretty easy going, so when he tells you to stay away from someone its for a good reason. Not to mention the fact that it’s hurtful to have your S/O ignore your advice in order to spend time with someone else. 

Anxiety after almost dying or losing MC. 

Of course, there are lots of other reasons, but I think these are the most prevalent, the ones that will actually get a huge rise out of Saizo. As far as other random jealousy/possessive HC’s, Dare I say……yandere???: 

Absolutely keeps tabs on you like at all times. If it’s not him himself(which it usually is) he sends Kiyohiro to watch and report back. If he even so much as WHIFFS someone is being creepy towards you he is ending that shit right away. 

How he takes care of them depends on the level of creep. And maybe how he’s feeling that day. If they can be scared off easily he could simply drop into their room in the dead of night, wake them up with a blade to the throat, “shhh, quiet now or I may just slip.” Perhaps he slips something into their evening tea and carries their unconscious body to the nearest cliff or into the woods. Maybe he writes a “love letter” in MC’s hand and lures them to a remote area, sword ready and Utsusemi ready to gobble some plucked eyes. Either way, MC will be none the wiser. 

“Hm? The grocer disappeared? That is strange…so what’s for dinner, little lady?” 

Has no qualms being vocal about his jealousy (most of the time). If it strikes his nerve just right he’ll come out and say he doesn’t like XYZ and wants you to stop. Other times, you have to pay attention to when he is being bitchy and distant. 

If he could, he’d keep you locked away all to himself. He has real issues with love/ownership/things because of his childhood. He’s never known how to have things, especially not precious things. So how does he control himself? He knows it’s not right to keep you locked away, so instead, he controls what he can keep to himself. Your ears showing, your skin showing, your dango, your blush/pleasured expressions, your moans. He doesn’t want anyone else experiencing this stuff of yours. 

That being said, he WOULD 100% lock you the fuck up if you were down for it. He’d get you a pretty little ribbon to tie around your neck and a comfortable room with things to keep you occupied, he’d bring you your meals and feed you, he’d bathe you, he’d tie you up sometimes when he was feeling extra anxious. 

On the off-chance someone actually did hurt you, its game over. It doesn’t matter if they had their hands on you, they left a small wound/mark, or something worse–they’re dead. Saizo will go into autopilot and obliterate the person. Bloodbath. 

In his efforts to keep you safe, he sometimes loses his sense of what is right and wrong with control. At his worst, he WILL refuse to allow you to leave his sight. By any means necessary. 

Blocking exits. Tieing you up (he knows the best and most efficient ways to immobilize you in seconds). Drugging you (such as putting you to sleep). 

When he’s feeling extra insecure he’ll claim you for himself. Tear your clothes off and tease you until you admit he’s the only one you love. He’ll make you say his name over and over again, and hearing it will ease his worries. He may even be inclined to break his own rules and let someone hear him fucking you so they know you belong to him. 

If you’re out in public and he starts to get jealous, he’ll pull you roughly into a dark secluded corner or onto a rooftop and tease you, pull at your collar and grip your face so you can’t look away from his intense expression

“Keep this up little lady, and I’m going to have to punish you.” He nips at your exposed clavicle. “Or…was that what you were hoping for all along?” 

Out of spite and pure jealousy he would 10/10 fuck you in a space such as a person’s bedroom or work, or with an item of that person’s. A way to get back at them and know he’s claimed you there or while you were wearing that (like fucking you on top of someone’s haori or with a hairpin they gave you in your hair before he gave it back to them) and they will never know. 

Has NO PROBLEMS talking about having sex with you. As long as they don’t see you its chill. He will let it out that he just had your legs spread 10 minutes ago and smile. He’ll go into detail. Especially when someone is trying to intimidate him over you. 

“Sorry, she won’t be able to meet you tomorrow like she promised. She’ll be quite sore…if you get what I mean. She looks quite sweet and docile but don’t let that fool you, she’s a different person when the lights are off. It’s no myth some women are wild in bed when you least expect it. Some night she asks for it so many times I have to wake up and check for bruises ^^ well, anyway, look at me going on when I’m sure with a face like that all of this is completely foreign to you. Don’t be discouraged, someone always has to be the late bloomer on the branch, hm?”

Definitely has a mental list of all of the people he’s threatened or killed over you 

Sometimes Kiyohiro has to step in and warn people to GTFO and leave before Saizo ends up murdering them 

Has had the urge to kill Inuchiyo more than once LOL 

Sometimes uses his Kotodama when he’s jealous. 

Maybe it’s during an interrogation of the person trying to steal you from him or harm you. If they deny, he’ll use his power to get them to confess the truth before torturing them. Maybe they lose an appendage for every time they lied or stalked MC. 

He’ll use it to keep you near him, keep you still, after your life was threatened. He needs time to look over your body, check for injuries, make sure you’re okay and tell you how much each finger and tear mean the world to him. 

HATES WHEN OTHER MEN TOUCH YOU. It disgusts him if they had ill intentions and he hates to think that you had to endure that. He’ll order you to strip and ask you where they touched you. He’ll wash the areas himself and caress you with his hands. He’ll whisper in your ear how you belong to him, and kiss over the areas until his anxieties disappear and he feels like he can no longer smell them or feel their energy. He’ll dispose of what you were wearing in an effort to rid you both of the memory completely. 

Do you think Karen loves/cares for Frank more than he does her? And when do you think was the moment for them when they were like woah... I love this person?

I think that’s always a hard thing to gauge – how much someone loves someone else and if it’s more or less than the love that person has for them in return. The two of them tend to present their love and investment in each other in different ways, which I think often lends to the outward perception that Karen’s love and care for him is the greater of the two. Based on what we’ve been presented, I don’t think it’s too wild of a thought, what with her care for him being a very external presentation. 

The thing about Karen’s feelings for Frank is that she’s been able to be more open to it for a longer period of time. From the second she meets him she hasn’t had any real barrier between her and her borderline obsessive investment in him and his life and his connection to her and her circumstances. She was “with Matt” [as much as a single date qualifies as being with someone] at the start of her relationship with Frank, yes. But, that relationship with Matt was never really a blocking wall into jumping face first into everything. If anything it was a propelling one, because the speed at which things fell apart with him did nothing but drive her further into trying to help Frank. 

Karen’s definitely dealing with all of her own personal internal trauma and baggage, from the get go, when Nelson and Murdock take on Frank’s case. But, in hers’, her trauma and baggage does nothing more but connect her to him further. She feels for him over his inadvertently getting his family killed, because she killed her brother. She empathizes. She understands the pain of that – how it feels living with it every day. She doesn’t actively believe killing people is the solution for everything, she ultimately believes that there should be repercussions. But, she also believes that fear is a real thing – that threats to one’s self are real. That grown men can chloroform you outside of your apartment and bring you to an abandoned warehouse and wave a gun in your face. That crime kingpins can send hit-men after you. 

She knows she’s a killer, too, just like he is. Different circumstances maybe, but a body count all the same. And she attaches herself to him and, perhaps in most people’s eyes, over invests in his redemption, because it gives her hope that she can be redeemed as well. So, every second that ticks by she’s able to feel more and more for him. She’s anchored to his side with every passing conversation – every passing moment. And her pseudo relationship with Matt crashes and burns before it even takes off the helipad, so she’s got no real barrier halting her from emotionally binding with Frank. Her care for him and his well-being and his answers over DD2, and her feelings and love for him in TP1 and TP2 have no true emotional obstacles to overcome, besides his being a mass murderer who’s constantly walking away.

But, Frank’s emotional baggage and trauma affects him in an entirely different way from the beginning of their story. His focus is on his mission. It’s on his kids. It’s on his wife. I mean, we know that Frank connects to her, as well, before they’re even out of Regrets Only. There’s a reason that he immediately only wants to talk to her. There’s a reason he opens up to her right away and that they share laughs and pain and whatnot. And through DD2, when they’re sharing scenes together, there’s obvious bonding. 

But, the difference is that Frank’s trauma and baggage aren’t propelling walls, they’re blocking ones. They don’t move him closer to her, because he doesn’t even have any clue what she’s gone through. When Karen and Frank are talking to one another, every single minute binds her more emotionally to him, because she knows his story and she knows her own. But, it doesn’t do the exact same thing for him, because in terms of sharing past tragedy, it’s an extremely one way street. Which is obviously something that goes all the way through to the end of TP2. He infers she’s used a gun before. He probably has used context clues to notice her obvious relation to him. But, he has no details. He doesn’t and has not asked for any details. 

Ironically the most that he questions her about is her love life and he sort of bases a lot of personal emotional connection on that. He uses his knowledge of her love life and his feelings about her love life as the tool to try and carry out his feelings for her later in The Abyss. “You have options, that aren’t me, who are better for you [even if I don’t actually have all of the facts on that front] than I am.”

Where Karen’s Never Really Starts relationship with Matt does nothing to dissuade her from Frank and from budding feelings for him – Frank’s Ended In Horrifying Murder relationship with his wife does dissuade him from developing those types of feelings for her, for awhile. He doesn’t even officially let go of Maria’s hand until the end of TP2. His feelings for Karen and his love for her come well before that, obviously [at least obviously to me and us in this fandom lolol], but I think the fact that he hadn’t chosen life yet is a major part of the reason he hadn’t kissed Karen in that elevator. 

Karen’s all outward love. She’s the one telling him she wants to see him, outside of just ‘exchanging info and fighting the good fight’. She’s the one who’s telling him he can choose to love her. She’s the one screaming out for him and to him about how she’s there to help him, how they can work together as a team, as people who love each other, to solve their problems. Frank’s a mixture of both. He’s the one kissing her cheek and stroking her face with his thumb when he thinks she’s hurt. He’s the one taking bullets for her and screaming out, to people who are not her, that’s she’s family. Not so subtly placing her romantic context, when David’s talking about his wife. He’s the one implying to those friend’s wives that Karen’s the one who’s gonna help him through hard times. 

But, he’s also the one that walks away. He’s the one who tells her to walk away. He’s the one who sort of foolishly thinks he knows her romantic paths and that those paths are better for her in the long run. 

So, you look at those two approaches and you’re like, “Well, Karen obviously loves Frank more than he loves her.” 

But, I don’t think that’s true.

I think she’s had more time to embrace her feelings for him – to, honestly, sort of suffer in those feelings for him. She’s had more time to be open to loving him and wanting him to love her. She’s not had the previous romantic blocking walls and missions to slow the process down. She loved Kevin, but he was her brother. The tragic loss of him doesn’t effect her romantically in the same way the loss of Maria does for Frank. She had Matt for a small moment and Crappy Boyfriend Who’s Name I Don’t Remember at some point in life before that and whoever else she’s had interest in, but none of those relationships were a doorstop in progression like Maria was for him. Matt’s death, for the time period where she believed that was true during TP1, doesn’t doorstop the progression, either. It also seemingly propels her further into Frank, because she doesn’t feel alone when he’s around and she feels [like he feels in return] that she can be her most honest self around him.

But, when the floodgates opened for Frank they were opened. And it’s the external examples and the internal examples together that show that he cares for her just as much, loves her just as much, has all sorts of ooey gooey feelings. It’s just that he knows so much less about her, because the writers never have him ask. They have him show both big moments to represent the place she holds in his heart. Swelling moments of yelling and kicking about how important she is to him that startle and surprise David, who actively speaks out prior that he doesn’t know how Karen falls into everything. Literal jumping in front of bullets for her. And they have him show small moments to represent the place she holds in his heart. Soft kisses to her cheek. Clutching onto her and breathing her when she hugs him. Leaning in to kiss her before placing his forehead against hers. Grasping onto her hand when she comes to sit by his side in the hospital. 

But, because they never let him actually get to get ACTUAL details about her life, through actual conversation about what’s going on with her, it always comes across like she’s so much more invested in him and cares for him so much more than he does her. But, her constantly trying to pull him close and him constantly trying to push him away to a better life are the both of them really trying to do the same thing – even if one of their methods is infuriating. They’re trying to show the other love. Karen by being there for him. And Frank by thinking she’s too good to slum it with his emotionally stunted self. 

When it comes to to really realizing that it’s love [however much or little it is at the time] and not just standard investment in one another: I think that for Frank it’s actually when he’s speaking with Sarah. That’s the real start of understanding. She asks him if he’s found something to do that for him, to help him through, and Frank’s responding answer of, “….uh…..maybe….yeah, maybe,” and the delivery of it. It’s like he’s realizing for the first time Karen yelling out at him under the bridge of wanting him to have an after could actually mean something more. I actually think the fact that he kisses her cheek before this moment, in Gunner, says that he hadn’t really known then. Like, it was THERE it just hadn’t registered yet. Because, it’s clear that when it comes to having actual feelings and not just a one night stand maybe I’ll trying this for a hot sec feelings, Frank’s the opposite of proactive. He goes to the direct other end. Protective. You have to choose someone else. I can’t. And I think he probably wouldn’t of kissed her, at that point, if it had already clicked in his mind.

And it all just comes more and more to a head after this conversation when she gives her radio interview and it’s clear she’s in serious danger. On the I Love Karen Page And Would Do Anything To Protect Her Even If It Hurts Me O’Meter, he goes from 1 to 1000 real quick. And then it all cultivates in that elevator. 

When it comes to Karen? Earlier. Much. She’s super locked into him from the start and she really quickly jumps into the, “I know he’s a mass murderer, but he’s never done anything wrong in his life and I love him” pool pretty quick. Like, everyone around her’s like, “Karen cool it.” I actually think that makes hers harder to gauge in a lot of ways, because it’s a steady increase. Maybe it’s in her apartment? When he comes to her on the street and she brings him up to the apartment she should not be able to afford and he gives her flowers and starts to say his goodbyes and she just rushes forward to grab onto him. And then they just sway for awhile. And she pulls away from him suddenly, like TOTALLY overwhelmed and just breathes out that she’s just happy to see him. Like, that hug would’ve went on if she hadn’t pulled away, just as their swaying in the elevator would’ve went on if she hadn’t pulled away and told him to go. 

I think before this moment she is OBVIOUSLY attached to him, probably already has so much love for him because Karen goes quuuuuuuuuuuuick. But, I don’t think she was in love with him in the woods and I don’t think she was when she was on the street when he was shooting ninjas above her. I think that was still growing feelings attachment mode. And seeing him again for the first time since, when she’s just totally alone – no Matt, barely any Foggy, no friends – she sees him and he’s buying her flowers and he’s leaving her again and I think she’s suddenly like, “I love this dude, man. Disengage hug, disengage hug!!” And once again, it all just builds up to the elevator where it’s no longer, “I love this man” it’s “I’m in love with this man and he needs to leave right now.” 

Too long? Too long.

                                 Enemies to Lovers (Part 2)

Won't Let Go of You for Nothing by AFangirlFantasy

Words: 3k

Louis’ new neighbor is playing their music offensively loud, and he’s fucking pissed. Every night this week he hasn’t been able to fall asleep because of it, but tonight, Louis refuses to suffer again. Taking matters into his own hands, Louis goes over to knock some much needed sense into their brain.

Things may or may not go the way he plans.

Or a Love/Hate neighbors AU

Like You Hate Me by KrisStylinson

Words: 6k

“You have poor taste for someone with the last name Styles,” he says, turning to show the back of his pants to Harry—the pants Harry had just stitched his name across last night to keep this type of thing from happening again.

Of course, he’s accomplished nothing but indirectly making himself pop a stiffy over Louis fucking Tomlinson.

say i hate you but i always stay by clicheanna 

Words: 8k

Or the one where Harry hates Louis, he's almost sure Louis hates him, and they live together. Driving him to football practice everyday is not apart of Harry's plans, but Louis is pretty adamant if it means annoying Harry.

A Stór Mo Chroí by kiwikero 

Words: 9k

Louis is a young laird from Clan Sutherland and Harry the chieftain of Clan Gunn, and an alliance between their clans isn't enough to convince the two of them to get along.

Shut Up and Wink at Me by kikikryslee

Words: 14k

Or, the one where Louis wants to go away to college to get away from everything having to do with his hometown. So when he finds out his roommate will be Harry Styles, perfect school athlete and the exact opposite of what Louis wants in a roommate, he's not happy about it.

kiss me on the mouth and set me free by suspendrs

Words: 17k

Or, Louis is a gamer and Harry is a beauty guru, and VidCon is a good place to fall in love.

you flower, you feast by stylinsoncity

Words: 18k

He's King of the Underworld, but don't assume Louis has it all. He could stand for some excitement in his monotonous, eternal life and maybe, even.....a soulmate.

(Despite not having a soul.)

And along came "Harry".

the boys of fall by godgavemelou

Words: 21k

OR an american football au where the boys play for the university of tennessee, and harry and louis quite hate each other.

written in the stars (that's you and me) by fackinglouis

Words: 22k

Written for the prompt: Louis is a funny and bratty psychic and Harry is set on proving he's a scam.

Staring Across the Room by allwaswell16

Words: 26k

Harry Styles has a great life. He’s a children’s librarian at the New York Public Library, he’s got wonderful friends, and he loves cooking, green tea, yoga, and his collection of bow ties. He doesn’t mind that his life seems a little structured, maybe even a little boring. But when Louis Tomlinson joins the library staff as the new Installation Coordinator, things become a lot less predictable. Louis gets under his skin right from the start, bossing Harry around, making noise during story time, and eating the last cupcake in the staff lounge. Louis may be almost offensively attractive, but Harry will not be succumbing to Louis Tomlinson’s charms, even if the rest of the library staff have.

Mine Now by aclosetlarryshipper

Words: 32k

This is the story of how Harry finds himself pouting in Louis’ passenger seat with a raging boner on the way to seduce his ex boyfriend.

like it's a game by soldouthaz

Words: 32k

there is little harry hates more than truth or dare.

and louis.

(we will be) as if chosen by alivingfire 

Words: 35k

Or: the course of true love never did run smooth, because sometimes people are stubborn and sometimes people are scared and sometimes, just sometimes, love can cause just as many problems as it solves.

I Hate You by mediwitch3

Words: 35k

Harry and Louis hate each other, a lot, but they pretend to be friends for the sake of their careers. One night, during an argument, they bang. They can’t keep their hands off each other after that. 

Be with me so happily by BriaMaria

Words: 42k

aka Louis is the director of the Styles Elephant Sanctuary and really doesn't want to babysit his funder's spoiled lay-about son for two months

no pressure, no diamonds by karamelised

Words: 42k

Louis is a thief, Harry a grifter. They are thrown together for a huge diamond heist in Paris, where their past soon catches up to them.

Wonderwall by AFangirlFantasy

Words: 43k

Or a Love/Hate College AU where Louis Tomlinson is the lead singer of The Rogue - the most popular band on campus - and Harry Styles is the talented Freshman unknowingly challenging all that.

bruise you like a peach by falsegoodnight

Words: 46k

There’s two reasons Harry despises Econ.

The first is that it’s boring as fuck. The second reason is a bit more personal, a bit more focused in a way. As in it’s focused on one specific thing, or in his case, person.

His name is Louis Tomlinson.

Beauty Behind The Madness. by ZiamsLarry

Words: 59k

Harry doesn't meet the worlds perspective of looks, causing him to be judged every time he leaves his house. He never lets it get to him, because he knows that when he gets home at the end of the day he has the most beautiful little girl waiting for him.

So with just her and the lovely old lady down the hall who babysits her, Harry thinks his life is good enough for him.

Of course it all changes when the appartment across from him gets new attendants.

Why Can't It Be Like That by taggiecb

Words: 63k

A fashion AU with a royal twist, where Louis doesn't need a stylist, Harry's thrilled to have a real life Barbie doll, and they're both very wrong about each other.

The Art of Being a Gentleman by frosteddream

Words: 64k

Out of all four of the Styles children, Harry has always been the most adored. He is the handsome, intelligent, and oh so charming golden child of the family, the perfect son who will soon be married to the perfect woman, a beauty queen named Victoria Astaire. Despite how loved he is among all who reside in the affluent town of Alton, his siblings absolutely despise him. In order to stain his squeaky-clean reputation and get their traditional, old fashioned parents to despise him as much as they do, they devise a plan that involves Harry’s giving nature, the desperation of a mother and father, and a mischievous boy who doesn’t give a damn about what’s proper.

to lure a hummingbird (you had me moonstruck) by brokenbeaks

Words: 81k

Or: An enemies-to-lovers fic where Harry and Louis are neighbours who are forced to get along due to the inconvenience (or convenience) of a broken lift.

Nothing But You On My Mind by nonsensedarling

Words: 83k

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

Runaway Land by daggerinrose

Words: 103k

Louis is sure he’s stumbled upon a secret, underground nightclub, though that is far from the truth. He’s also pretty sure he’s stumbled upon Apollo, which… isn’t very far from the truth, actually.

Modern Greek mythology AU.

Learning to Breathe by youcomecrash

Words: 110k

He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out.

Our Lives, Non-Fiction by indiaalphawhiskey

Words: 113k

Heralded as the next Neil Gaiman, Louis Tomlinson does not appreciate being told that his very serious novel is in dire need of a PR boost. Even worse, that it comes in the form of a joint book tour with the UK’s #1 online romance-writing sensation Marcel Styles. Already turbulent at best, their partnership takes a drastic turn when, overly stressed about his looming deadline, Marcel accidentally blurts out a secret: though he’s famed for his scorching hot literary love scenes, he is, actually, a virgin.

Convinced that the only way to rid himself of writer’s block is to gain some experience, Marcel asks Louis, author-to-author, to sleep with him – for Science. And of course Louis agrees because, well, what on Earth could possibly go wrong?

Empty Gold by rainbow_kings

Words: 148k

In the final year, when Guildhall produces and performs an original play, Louis is heartbroken to learn the lead role has been been received to Harry and he's the second role. He's mostly terrified, however, when he realises he has to date Harry in the play as their characters. They come together through awkward stage kisses that transforms to hate sex, heated arguments, rehearsal times after lectures and baking carrot cake together.

Collision by itjustkindahappened

Words: 206k

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

♡ credit to the owner of the manip

♡ past themed recs here

♡ updated: 3.21.2021

The Originals Series Finale Recap "When the Saints Go Marching In" #TheOriginals #Always&Forever

We've come to the end of another beautiful television journey, and it's time to say goodbye to characters we've loved for years now. The Originals delivers an incredibly cathartic finale that is literally about goodbyes and how to say them properly, for those lucky few who can see it coming and have that chance to do it right. 

Thank you to The CW, once again, for giving your showrunners that chance whenever possible. It's one of the things that makes me such a devoted fan. For real, I've been all-in on The CW since back when it was The WB, and one of the reasons I am so fierce in my fandom is that I trust this network to do right by its shows and fans; rarely do they unceremoniously cancel a show. The awareness of a final season is a gift to both creators and fans. 

But remember how it all began? We started hearing about this big bad named Klaus on The Vampire Diaries, and he turned out to be irresistibly wicked and charming. But before we ever even laid eyes on him, there was Elijah. And wow! From the moment Daniel Gillies showed up, we were mesmerized, and the fan reaction was so intense that he went from a henchman who got staked in his only planned appearance to a more-immortal-than-vampire creature who couldn't die just from being staked after all! 

What I'm saying is that the thrilling spin-off of TVD all started with Elijah and Klaus, and there's no other way it should have ended than with those two brothers. I've seen a lot of online griping about the subsequent scenes we didn't see, but come on; they're implied; we know they're going to happen, and we don't need actually to see them--the proper ending is to stay with Elijah and Klaus.

The series finale starts right where we left off the week before: Klaus has taken the Darkness into himself and is preparing to plunge the White Oak stake into his heart. As Elijah pleads with him not to do this, Hope returns from her brief wolfed outrun (remember, Crescent wolves are helpless to prevent their initial transformation but otherwise exercise complete control, so she must simply have chosen not to stay in wolf form for long). She sees what's going on, gets royally pissed at her father for what he was about to do, and magically snaps his neck.

They bring Klaus home to New Orleans, and Hope immediately dives into finding a cure, but Freya won't play along or indulge this fantasy. She makes it very clear that there is no solution, and that Klaus is right that he has to die, so don't waste his final hours fighting this; use the time to find peace and say goodbye properly. To that end, she has an idea for a spell that will at least keep his mind clear for his last day on earth.

Of course, she'll need to consult with the ultimate Darkness expert, Vincent. She goes to him for help, and he misunderstands at first, thinking she's on the save-Klaus track as usual. When he realizes the true plan, he softens and is ready to support her. Freya notices he's packing, and he says he's bailing forever, getting out of NOLA once and for all after all that's happened. 

Since time is short, she jumps right into another topic she'd been planning to bring up at a later date: She and Keelin have agreed to have a family, and they want Vincent to father their child.

Y'all, this is beautiful, and I start getting weepy at the thought, because I love Vincent, and he totally deserves to be a father and to be part of the kind of fearlessly devoted family he's been peripheral to all these years. But he doesn't quite take it as well at the moment, because he's been through so much, lost so much... just like he wasn't ready to be there for her at the wedding; he's not ready to believe in a future worth being a part of now.

Kol is also not into the family devotion today. He basically says, So what if Klaus finally bites it, because I'll believe it when I see it, and anyway, I spent centuries in a coffin because of that immortal dick. But ultimately, he comes back, of course, because Always & Forever.

Klaus' mind is clear, thanks to Freya's spell, but he's having trouble getting to peace with Hope. She's still raging at him for abandoning her, after all, she went through to get him back in her life, and leaving her now an orphan when she's still freshly mourning her mother, and disappearing when she'll need his guidance in so many things to come. 

But the one person who can soothe him right now shows up: Caroline. She plays back the voicemail Klaus left her back when he first returned to New Orleans in the backdoor pilot and reminded him that he promised to show her his city. Klaus is as touched as we are that she has saved that message all this time. (Btw, check out The CW app for a deleted scene with Klaus and Caroline!)

They wind up at a bar together, and they share a final kiss. He asks her how he is supposed to say goodbye to his daughter, and she demonstrates to him one version of a loving goodbye, making it clear this is their final moment. Then walking away with determined finality, resisting the urge to turn back, to waver in her commitment to the decision, to leave on any note besides the one she chose. I'm getting all weepy again.

Finally, Klaus and Hope have their moment, and he gets her to understand why this is the right choice. The whole family gathers for Klaus' funeral celebration, and it's sweet and sad, knowing this is the last time we'll see them all together. Marcel gets a private word in with Hope, essentially promising to guest-star on Legacies, and I'm so down with that!

The end is here, and it's down to the original three, Klaus, Elijah, and Rebekah. They go together to a quiet area in the town square (considering it's nighttime during Mardi Gras, they must have compelled a city's worth of people just to clear this block!). 

Klaus gives Rebekah a final gift: He's asked Caroline to set aside the Cure for Rebekah decades from now, at the end of Damon and Elena's natural lifetime. Rebekah will finally have the human life and death she's dreamed of. She embraces him and goes away filled with hope, then finds Marcel and proposes marriage with the full understanding that her life is now finite. He accepts, and I'm so happy they're so happy.

Also, Vincent shows up to say he's changed his mind about having a family with Freya and Keelin. He says that Klaus' sacrifice inspired him to take a risk and believe in a future worth being an active part of.

And now it's just Klaus and Elijah. Elijah pulls out the White Oak stake and breaks it in two. Klaus impatiently points out the stake still has plenty of killing ability, so Elijah hasn't stopped this from happening. Elijah explains that he isn't trying to stop Klaus but to join him.

His entire, incredibly long life, Elijah's focus has been on Klaus. Klaus' humanity, Klaus' redemption. Sure, briefly there was that amnesiac dalliance with Antoinette, but other than that, Klaus has been his world. Now that Klaus has become a man who willingly goes to his own death in service of others, Elijah feels complete.

Klaus angrily accuses Elijah of making a big deal about the importance of goodbyes but then sneaking off to die without telling anyone, but of course, that's not what happened. Today was about Klaus, and Elijah got his goodbyes in quietly, on the sidelines. He made his peace with everyone, and they understood and supported his choice. I'm crying almost as hard right now as I was while actually watching it.

Together, they share a final moment and look into each other's eyes as they plunge the stakes into each other's hearts. The end. The Originals, out.

And yes, after this moment, we know Elijah and Hayley have their dance. And we know Cami is waiting to greet Klaus in the afterlife, too. But I don't need to see those moments to know they happened. Just as TVD ended with Damon and Stefan, it was right for The Originals to end with Klaus and Elijah. 

I'm grateful for the journey we got to go on with these characters. I'm in awe of the acting talent we were lucky enough to enjoy throughout. I'll be watching Legacies for sure, and I'll be looking for whatever Joseph Morgan, Daniel Gillies, and Yusuf Gatewood do next, among others. Thanks for a glorious ride, Julie Plec et al. 

10/10 Always & Forever

Samurai Jack season 5 episode 7

First off before I get started, let's have a moment of silence for jacks beard. As someone who has a beard....I kinda died a lil inside when I saw the beard go..... ..... ..... Okay now that being said last nights episode was friggin' amazing as always ! A-l-O-T Of things happened and I'd be lying if I said I didn't watch it for more times afterwards.... I am probably going to watch it over and over the rest of this week before episode eight comes out lol. So we start off like how I predicted, with a Flashback on how Jack lost his sword. He is traveling up a mountain in which she heard has a time portal at the top and is joined by three little rams, when he has reached the top One of the Rams guided him towards the portal. He eagerly jumped it (which I think is the closest he's ever gone to going back to the past) until aku pulled him back out (fuckin' DICK) Jack that attempts to jump back in but aku destroys it before he can get back in. It is then revealed that that was the last remaining time portal in existence (highly doubt it because I don't think he knows about the one the Guardian is watching) in doing so in rages Jack and of course being a coward that I aku is he flees and summons demonic bull like creatures which Jack quickly disposes of. And just when you think aku couldn't be more of an asshole ! It turns out the monsters were just the baby Rams under the spell of aku....I literally shouted "WHAT A DICK !" At my TV screen waking my poor dog up lol. This causes Jack to drop his sword and fall down a seemingly bottomless pit. We find out that Jack was telling ashi The entire story while on the back of some type of giant...falcon/owl ? Anyway they both float down the hole where the sword was supposed to be but find out it isn't there, when Ashi asks if someone could've taken it ? Jack has the realization that he didn't lose the sword... The sword left him. Which actually makes total sense because the sword is magical and probably linked to him, so it probably sensed his anger and because the sword was used against an innocent it probably need to go into isolation until Jack got back on track again. So after they return to the top of the mountain Jack tells Ashi he "doesn't know how long this will take" when ashi offers to go with him, he tells her that this is something I must do on his own and proceeds to say in a meditative stance while Ashi takes watch. While she's doing so notices in the distance a small army is approaching the mountain, Ashi's eyes read " awww HELL NO You ain't coming near my man" lol And it cuts to Jack having a spiritual journey through his mind to try and figure out the location of his sword, he then gets on a raft and float is towards what looks to be a mini monastery, with a little man that resembles Buddha slightly and seeds to ask him "are you lost" ? Jack of course replied with yes and then the man invites him in to make some tea. Then cuts back to the army marching up the mountain is immediately stopped in their tracks when Ashi asks them where they're going, once they tell her that they are here to kill samurai Jack she stances up and ready to defend him saying that she's "here to stop them" of course in a typical ignorant fashion they begin laughing because it one on what appears to be hundreds and she looks to be harmless....well, the moment The leader said they are there to kill Jack that was the moment they sign their death wish because as soon as they started advancing towards her she immediately punches him in the face and uses him as a battering ram to knock A good portion of the army off the mountain. Then fucking leaps into the rest of the army like a fucking beast and begins to laydown the pain, One of the parts shows her breaking the spears and a half and throwing it back at them while she was doing a war cry and completely snapping one of the guys arms off..... like I said in my last post, she's one-of-a-kind Jack and she wouldn't be doing this if she didn't care deeply for you. Throughout the entire scene we go back-and-forth between ashi fighting the army and Jack making tea which in itself was a little comical because we get a burst of intense fighting and a little break in between of him making tea which is therapeutic. Once he's done making the tea and offers it to the Buddha like figure it then cuts back to Ashi who has completely decimated the entire army and covered in blood (queue god of war theme) but that notices there's still so I left on the mountain she then calls the falcon/owl over to carry her up the rest of the way, then noticing the mysterious figures about to fire an arrow towards Jack she jumps down and grabs it, only to find out that shortly after a barrage of arrows comes raining down which she easily lifts a Rock to block him. is the revealed that The person responsible is...THE HIGH PRIESTESS ! (Dun dun duuuun) out of FUCKING nowhere! has Somehow managed to track Ashi and jack down claiming that she knew she would fail her mission and even though she was the strongest of the seven was the least focused of the group. And offered her a chance to do a complete 180 and kill Jack which of course she refuses because let's be honest 1) the mother is a fucking bitch 2) at this point do you really think she's going to kill him after developing feelings for him lol After hearing her say Jack showed her the truth and that she was wrong about him continue to say she will kill her too ! And I'm over here looking at her like "this FUCKING cunt" she says it in such a way that you truly sense that she does not give two shits about her and she was only to be used as a means to an end. Which I'm sure you could gather from the flashbacks, by her saying she's going to kill her only made it even more of a point lol She then proceeds to take off her robe (when that happens you know shits about to get real)and Ashi and her have a dagger/baby ram horn dual and asks ashi how could she betrayed her family like that, that even after Jack killed her sisters she still allowed him to live. She that replies that wasn't jacks for but they died that it was the mothers fault they died because they we're born only to kill Jack and were doomed right from the day they were born (meaning no amount of training they did could compare to Jack's skills) and is she saying that the pillar collapses on top of her giving the high priestess a chance to kill Jack. Ashi seeing what's about to happen bursts out of the rubble grabs an arrow and with "The strongest throwing arm in history" throws it at her mother piercing her through her chest seemingly killing her (I don't think that's the last we'll see if her, she's definitely still alive and Will come back probably the finale) and falls off the mountain, Ashi tired from the long intense battle passes out. Then we cut back to the Buddha figure drinking the tea saying that the tea is terrible, Jack confused by it wonders why. The figure states that even though it has all necessary ingredients it's missing one important ingredient "Balance" this confuses Jack even more, begging him to help tell him where the whereabouts of his sword is. However he says it's not up for him to decide, and that he will have to "earn it" then we get a appearance from I rather angry version of Jack's consciousness where she's out saying that it's a bunch of "fortune cookie nonsense" Jack then proceeds to tell his conscience that he is the reason why he's lost his way and his sword and now that he sees clearly purges the anger from himself and therefore finding "balance" Jack is then teleported in front of the three gods that helped forge the sword (Odin, Ra and Vishnu) they state that like his father he has been chosen to defeat the ultimate evil (aku) and that he is worthy. Then proceed to transform Jack back to his old self (without his beard 😡) topknot and all. Which I have to admit it's a little jarring to see him back in his samurai robe again, and has also been given his sword back which was a pretty epic moment almost like he was reunited with an old friend. He has then awakened from his meditative state and sheaths his sword, and finds Ashi unconscious on the ground and rushes to her aid.....and ACTUALLY knows her name ! I was like FINALLY! She probably told him her name off screen but I still would've liked to have seen them exchange names on screen...oh well Then she awakens in shock to find Jack restored to its previous self saying how he found his sword in the process complement him on his "shave and haircut" (I said to myself...oh yea...that's One step closer to them becoming a thing ❤️) fun fact I actually yelled at the screen " just kiss already" !!! And woke my poor dog up again lol he then says that she has been busy keeping him safe while he was searching for his sword, and then thanks her for doing so. She then asks with a smirk on her face "what's next ?" And Jack sternly says "Aku" and then the episode ends This episode had so many surprises in it that it almost caught me offguard because I wasn't expecting some of it. I really really really enjoyed it ! And of course there's the preview weekend of Jack and Ashi running from a creature that seems to be hunting them down AND this is the episode where they're supposed to have a "burgeoning relationship" which of course because you guys know I support and ship Jashi I believe it's going to be something on the romance side 👍🏻 I mean for god sake's she "killed" her own mother to protect him ! Her own mother ! If that's not love I don't know what love is lol Well I'm really hoping that this week goes by fast because I already want to watch episode 8 🤞🏻😭 at least I get to watch last nights episode a bunch of times to get me hyped up for it lol What did you guys think ?

Story Process, Start to Finish

Or, how to write multi-chap stories and balance thematic content.

So I recently received a PM on FFnet with these questions: 

And basically, I was just wondering if you had any tips on how you do it? How do you get inside each character’s head? How do you manage to write a story that is both serious and light hearted at the same time?

And I was going to reply right away, except when I actually sat down and thought about it, I realized I’ve never put much thought into the hows of a project, just mainly focused on getting it done. I also realized that these questions have much longer answers than I was prepared for, as I’m terrible at summarizing. It’s one of my big weaknesses. So I thought, since I was going to be answering this anyway, why not make a post of it? Because of course what I need is more attention right? (lol, don’t answer that.) Okay, so let’s get started!

1) Start with a very vivid image of a complete scene.

This is the way I’ve started every single one of my fics. I usually get a lightning strike image in my head of a “fully-rendered” scene. This includes the the setting (colors, time of day, place, sounds, era), the characters involved, and even an aesthetic to an extent (cinematic, old-fashioned book, play). For example, Eyes Wide Open started with the final chapter, where Hinata and Sasuke confront each other while Hinata is wearing Itachi’s clothes. I pictured the tension that would exist between them, with Hinata being very passive usually and Sasuke being overwhelmed by how upset he was by his own petty jealousy. That scene was the springboard for everything else.

You may be thinking, “but that’s ridiculous and very lame advice, not everyone can do that/seems unhelpful!” but it’s not true. Everyone can; it’s just a matter of patience. If you wait long enough and daydream about subject matter that you want to write about, eventually your subconscious mind will do all the heavy lifting for you and puke out an owl pellet of fine content. That may be a little gross of a metaphor, but it’s all I got. Just keep mulling over the same variables you want to include and I promise the scene will come to you.

2) Think about what needs to happen for that scene to be accomplished.

So, now that you have the crux of your story, your visualized scene that will become the seed to the rest of the tale, it’s time to figure out what that seed needs in order to grow. 

A lot of people who write romance fics start with the same motivation I do: you have your main ship and you want them to kiss/enter into a relationship. However, a lot of younger/less experienced writers stop there. A kiss is easy, right? All they have to do is be in the same room and make eye-contact, duh! What I’m getting at is that a lot of younger writers do just that. They place each party in a setting where they’re together and of course, since we love them and want them to love each other, they immediately fall in love inexplicably and kiss that very same night, story done! 

There’s nothing wrong with that. If you want your ship to just kiss and be done with it, you can write that. However, not everyone wants to accept that it’s that easy, especially if one ships a crackship like sasuhina. It can be really difficult to keep people in-character and have them fall for each other instantly, and most people who’ve been reading/writing for the ship for a long time might not be interested in or satisfied with the usually-shallow setting that these love-at-first-sight romances offer. It’s just not fun. I, for one, want to suffer with my OTP as they grow and change in order for their love to take place!

So that’s what you have to focus on. Keeping with the Eyes Wide Open example…. There’s no logical reason for Sasuke and Hinata to be around each other. Sure, they were contemporaries in canon, but Sasuke barely paid attention to his own teammates, let alone people who held no bearing on his life in the slightest. So I changed the setting and the age group. Of course people in the same town who come from similar family backgrounds have a likelihood of sharing classes, so it’s not that difficult to imagine them meeting on the off-chance. Most of the big developments in Eyes Wide Open happened because of Sasuke’s and Hinata’s outside influences, who all knew each other and thus pushed them together. 

What does your ship require? What needs to change for them to be open to love/a relationship? I like writing slow burns because most realistic romances are slow burns. The involved parties rarely realize the road they’re on until it’s too late and then messy feelings get involved and all the delicious events start occurring. 

3) Saturate yourself with the canon materials, then study up on fandom materials.

“How do you get inside each character’s head?” It’s a really good question and I’m not too sure myself, but I’ll do my best to explain my method. 

Most of my stories begin on a whim because I’ve been binge watching/reading/playing something non-stop. If it’s gone on long enough, I’ve usually picked my favorite characters and naturally started shipping them. (Ah, the life of a crack-shipper!) 

When you want to write for a fandom, it’s wise to know the canon material as inside-out as possible. If it’s a movie, make sure you’ve watched it recently. If it’s a TV series, make sure you’ve seen all the episodes with important details. (I’ve skipped a lot of Naruto filler, for instance.) Surround yourself by canon knowledge and study it until you’ve got a grasp of the canon universe. Abilities, physics, politics, hierarchies, interaction, setting, etc. This is your foundation to branch out from. I once opened a Naruto fic where the author repeatedly referred to chakra as Charka, capitalized and all. It generally bodes poorly for the future content of the fic because if they didn’t even pay close attention to the canon really, how much effort are they going to put into writing for it? This is an important process for making your written piece feel close to the same level of charm/draw that the canon has.

Narrowing that down, if you want to write a character-driven piece, you need to know the characters. Treat them like they are real people that you want to be close friends with, then pay attention to everything about them. Fall in love with them. Study their motivations and personalities. What causes them to react in varying situations? What draws out certain emotions? It’s okay to use references. Make use of the well-curated wiki pages that many fandoms have. Get to know ages, heights, tastes in food. Manga are usually really rich in these smaller details, as it’s common for them to be sidebar filler.

Once I’m sure I’ve gotten a strong handle on the canon character, it’s time to dive into fanon. If I’m writing a fic, you can bet it’s because I’ve read up and down every website category for this pairing and haven’t found what I wanted. But the key is I’ve read so much fanon. Study how other authors write the characters. What aspects do they focus on? Do you like the way they portray x/y/z? A lot of people made Sasuke an overly-romantic, can-do-everything-perfectly type who referred to Hinata as “love” or “darling”. That didn’t really feel like Sasuke to me. In canon he’s a bitter snot who has a bit of an inferiority complex and he acts out by not using honorifics and being sort of casually disrespectful. He can also be incredibly lazy in his human interactions, so he wouldn’t be confrontational or talkative unless it got him something or he was provoked. A lot of people also made Hinata an overly-stuttering mess who’s just there to be pretty. Listen, it’s a real turn-off to be constantly bombarded by what Hinata is wearing to show off her “feminine curves” in “all the right places” and how slender or petite she is, how her long, milky legs are so enticing. You want your characters to be human and relatable. When Hinata is a runway model who can pull off some cool jutsu, I get bored. I’m not pretty and jutsu doesn’t exist in reality, so what else is there to connect with? What goes on in your character’s head? Their feelings, their dreams. What do their mannerisms do to illustrate those thoughts? Don’t focus on appearance unless necessary. It takes away from the emotional impact of your story.

How does fandom portray your chosen characters and what do you want to do differently? That’s your goal for characterization. 

4) Summarize each event needed to reach the conclusion.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s a method I got from an old “how to write shoujo manga” book. Separate the various plot points into their own, standalone-events, then write them on their own note cards. Write scenes you want to include for the heck of it, too, go crazy! This is your story, have fun! When you’re done, arrange them into a timeline with a build up to a climax and then a wrap-up. Boom, your story is half-written already. This really helps avoid (most) writer’s block, as well.

5) Start writing.

Go forth and write! Trust your instincts. You’ve gotten the hard parts out of the way and your foundation is strong at this point. Take your time and if you get self-conscious or confused, go ahead and reach out! Get a beta-reader, or maybe a friend to bounce ideas off of. Make sure it’s someone you trust. If you like, you can write the whole thing in a first draft before posting so you have time to go over it for plot holes/errors/etc, or if you’re impatient like me and don’t care as long as your ship reaches a romantic conclusion in a satisfying way, go ahead and post as you write. 

6) “How do you manage to write a story that is both serious and light hearted at the same time?”

My number one piece of advice for this question is this:

Ingest the kind of media you want to produce. 

I’m a huge fan of romantic comedies, but specifically the older ones from the late eighties and the nineties. Even more specifically, Nora Ephron. Nora Ephron is fantastic at creating a story that is just as implausible/fantastical as every other romance, but her characters are well fleshed-out, relatable, and funny. Her settings are a wonderful balance between the tantalizing energy of  fictionalized big cities and the quiet, intimate moments you get between friends and families within those cities. The structure she utilizes has a draw to it. It pulls you in and makes you feel like you’re experiencing it along with the characters. While many of her stories are really, truly comedies, there’s usually a sense of drama woven in with a skill I can only hope to achieve someday. I think the key for keeping a story light-hearted even while it deals with heavy subject matter is to keep the dramatic aspects lingering along the outskirts.

For example, in When Harry Met Sally, you follow along with Harry and Sally as they age over twelve years. Natural comedy is easy to write, because everyone has their own sense of humor that shines in the right circumstances. Harry and Sally clash over their opinions but in a way that makes it easy for them to get along, as well as providing witty, engaging dialogue throughout the film. Most of the content of the story evolves through their shared awkward encounters involving friends, romance, bad decisions, and other things that real people experience every day. However, the whole time there is an underlying message that is being slowly brought to the front: the stress over finding someone to love and belong with before one gets “too old” or time runs out. Small moments are placed amidst the various sequences, off-hand comments about aging, competing with more attractive people, disgust with the opposite sex but the desire to still find someone to love.

In reality, we deal with drama every day. A person living in poverty might be one paycheck away from homelessness, and while that detail weighs heavy on their mind, they won’t think about it constantly because that would be exhausting. Most of our time is spent living in the moment, thinking about the past and the present until we are forced to deal with drama. Utilize that in your writing. 

In Eyes Wide Open, the bulk of the story is spent in everyday life of going to college classes, eating out at a cafe, spending time with friends or spending time at home. That’s the light-hearted part of the story. The rest is comprised of the small details hinting at drama like Itachi’s cough building into his collapse and consequential surgery, Sasuke’s space-outs as he struggles with his anxiety and PTSD, Hinata’s background growth as she develops into her own person separate from what her family wants or what she thinks Naruto wants.

Compartmentalize the different subjects you want to tackle in your piece, then organize them in ways that make sense story-wise and feel satisfying emotionally. It takes practice and I’m not saying I’m the best by any means. You can write one-shots to practice until you feel good enough to try a multi-chap fic. 

I hope that I answered the questions sufficiently, and that this is helpful to anyone who reads. This is by no means a one-answer-fits-all process; it’s just things I’ve learned from my own experiences. If you have anymore questions or want to discuss something more in-depth, feel free to inbox me any time! I’m always available! Thanks for reading!

fixing star wars episode viii

I am aware this is maybe article number 1 million and ten written over the past 8 months on this film. We’ve had articles praising it and articles critiquing it and articles accusing a haircut of having a secret Illuminati agenda.  But I think I can offer a perspective that is severely under-represented online.  So here goes.

Star Wars Episode VIII:  The Last Jedi is not a perfect film.  This is true.  However, it’s also true of literally any film released since the Lumière brothers were the avant-garde face of cinema.  Apart from Sing Street.  Sing Street is a perfect movie go watch it.

However, it’s also true that Star Wars Episode VIII:  The Last Jedi is a good film.  In fact, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable, beautifully shot, emotionally resonant masterpiece.  And not just surface-level good – its brilliance runs deep enough, thematically, that months after its release, I still feel like I have something new to bring to the table.

A quick disclaimer.  I’m not going to address the fact that many people do not share my unabashed, unending love for this film.  There are plenty of people, much smarter than me, already fighting that battle.  See Shaun’s YouTube video ‘Why I love the Last Jedi’ on the topic.  What follows is my take, pure and simple, on the changes I think could have helped the movie.

OK, prepare to jump to light speed.

Point of contention number one – the political situation in the Galaxy.  I have so many questions, and yes, maybe they are answered in Wookiepedia articles, but honestly I prefer to soak in my Star Wars through my eyes and my ears and my heart and not through my brain.  How long were the New Republic in power?  What did they control?  What was their relationship to the Resistance?  How was the First Order formed?  What do they control?  These are questions that, in all honesty, should have been answered in The Force Awakens (TFA), before we lost one of these three major players.  But that doesn’t let The Last Jedi (TLJ) off the hook.

We know why, of course. It’s because one of the lessons Lucasfilm has taken from the fan reaction to the prequel series is that the people are simply uninterested in the politics, at least insomuch as it relates to the Skywalker Saga.   Maybe true, probably not.  As usual, Hollywood has decided to blame the plot elements of the movie instead of admitting that, well, they may have made a bad movie.  But at least a basic grounding in the state of things is vital to understanding the plot of these films, which, after all, are at least superficially about an ideological conflict on a galactic scale.

And really, there is no excuse when every single film opens with a huge block of text perfect for getting exposition out of the way.  So our easy fix here is modifying the opening crawl of TFA, which hopefully should free both films from the lingering confusion.

 Done, dusted and onto issue number two – the pacing.  With a running time of 151 minutes, it’s a testament to Rian Johnson’s engaging screenplay that at no point in the film do those minutes seem to drag by.  And he had a harder job than JJ Abrams – it is one job to keep things tight in a rip-rolling adventure romp, where as soon as one scene finishes, it’s a wipe transition into another action set-piece. Quite another in a film that allows slightly more breathing space for contemplation and internal conflict.  TFA is a boisterous, excitable 11 year old of a movie, whereas TLJ is a more broody, introspective, but also more mature teenager.

That being said, if ever you were tempted to check your watch or stretch your legs or bake a pavlova or finish your dissertation on the economics of llama farming, I would wager you would take the opportunity at around the 54 minute mark – the first appearance of Canto Bight into the B-plot of the movie.

The entire B-plot of the film is based around the contrivance of a game of cat and mouse between two enemy starships.  Except this chase takes place over 18 hours.  Which makes it difficult to develop a sense of urgency when the occupants literally have time to watch all of the Lord of the Rings Extended Editions and make a good start on the Hobbit.  If we can’t rely on urgency – we at least need inevitability.  But sending characters on a side-mission to another planet really undercuts any tension and claustrophobia that has painstakingly been established here.  

What I propose here is not quite as radical as your imagining.  We are keeping many elements of this much maligned plot-tangent exactly the same.  Instead, our fix is simply to make this the opening scene:

The mission is Resistance-mandated:  free DJ from jail.  There is no misdirect here – DJ is the code-breaker.  It doesn’t really matter why he is necessary – maybe to sell weapons or ships, maybe for his knowledge of the First Order technology.  In any case, Poe and Finn, who are tasked with this mission, don’t really need to know that.  Poe is under instruction to retrieve DJ, then drop Finn off to go and look for Rey. Unfortunately, this last part doesn’t play out – Poe receives a distress call so they have to return immediately to the Resistance fleet.  The First Order has tracked them through light-speed and they are under attack. Cue the original opening sequence.

Allow me to fight my corner:

1 All necessary set-up can be provided in the opening crawl.  Which gets rid of the un-necessary and frankly un-nerving Maz Kanata cameo.

2 This gives the opportunity to send Poe with Finn, instead of Rose.  A favourite pairing from TFA gets more screen time together.  Seeing as Rey doesn’t meet Poe until literally the end of this film, it is important that the other two sides of the triangle formed with our original characters are strong by the end of TLJ.

3 This gives the chance to strengthen Finn’s character arc.  This way, his growth from sceptic to revolutionary is pulled into focus. Despite the injustices he witnesses on Canto Bight, he follows DJ’s advice of impartiality and tries to abandon ship.  Enter Rose.

4 The fact that DJ works for both sides can play as a reveal to Poe, so he is surprised when he realises Holdo is already aware of this.  This gives Poe more reason to be distrustful of Holdo.

5 It is important thematically that Rey, Poe, Finn and Rose are all given roughly equal heroic treatment. However, in the current situation, Rey is veering uncomfortably close to becoming a ‘chosen one’.   This streamlined B-plot helps to slightly redress the imbalance.

And finally – issue number three – Rose.  Not Rose as in her character – she is set up to introduce an interesting dynamic to our leads.  Not Rose as in Kelly Marie Tran’s performance - she brings energy and warmth and spunk to every scene she is in and I will not hear a word against her goddamn it. Instead, the problem lies in how Rose is treated within the screenplay.  She has plenty to do, but most is inconsequential, and the rest is poorly executed.  This is where I would recommend the biggest changes.

Rose is a lover, not a fighter.  And by lover I of course mean mechanic.  Give her a chance to utilise her skills.  Obviously, if everything had gone to plan she would have disabled the light-speed tracker. But it didn’t and she doesn’t. There needs to be another opportunity for Rose to display her talents.  My personal suggestion?  See those speeder things?  This planet was abandoned.  I’m very doubtful those speeders were in battle ready condition when the Resistance arrived.  Give Rose a quick montage of turning a whole heap of junk into a somewhat driveable speeder.

And then don’t make her drive one!  Let’s have some diversity in our leads!  Not like racial diversity, although that’s also a bonus.  No, I’m talking diversity in character traits.  And it is there already, I just think there would be stronger differentiation if we give Rose more of a behind-the-scenes role vis-à-vis action scenes.

What about knock-on consequences I hear you cry?  What would happen to Finn?  It doesn’t really matter – any old plot contrivance.  Have the Falcon reappear and knock Finn’s speeder out of the way. Have one of the ATATs actually aim on target and knock Finn’s speeder out of the way.  Have a giant teleporting Wookie materialise and knock Finn’s speeder out of the way.  Pick any of the above, or all of them, I literally do not care.

As a side note, I think this could also help streamline the overall thematic texture of the film.  We are definitely being sent mixed messages regarding the ethics of personal sacrifice for a military cause.  Paige’s sacrifice is brave and good.  Holdo’s sacrifice is brave and good.  Finn’s sacrifice is brave but stupid.  And that subtext is largely down to one line. ‘That’s how we’re going to win. Not fighting what we hate but saving what we love.’  Yes, I know that this is Rose talking and her views on the matter have likely been strongly influenced by the death of her sister in a very similar situation at the start of the film and this line was likely not meant to be interpreted as a mission statement.  But it still reads like that because of the language of the film-making.  Everything about this scene – the swelling score and the fiery back-lighting and the intense close-up is telling the audience that this line is of critical importance.

If Finn has to make his way back to the base before reuniting with Rose, there’s a beat in the screenplay which ensures Finn’s heroism is not undercut. Rose still gets the character depth coming from that line-reading.  And the viewer gets to understand that this is a statement coming from a character and not the screenplay itself.  Hell, she can even kiss Finn if that’s what the screen-writers want and I wouldn’t complain.

And there we have it - that is as much as I am prepared to dump on The Last Jedi.  Although I sincerely believe these few changes could transform The Last Jedi into a pretty-much flawless film, we all have to remember that the film has already been released and established in the canon, and barring a George Lucas-esque rework, it will remain that way.  This is Rian Johnson’s film, through and through, and in my humble opinion it is a masterpiece.  It is much, much easier to come up with a couple fix-all solutions after the fact (and even easier 8 months after) than to write an entire script from scratch.

That being said, please hire me Disney 😊