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#also didn't fit in that in an attempt to make some passive income I have started designing and drawing stickers
aisalynn · 2 years
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I haven't been very active on here lately.
Currently going through Some Shit.
Mostly health related. My as yet still undiagnosed chronic illness has been getting much worse, as has my mental health because of it.
I've barely been able to work, managing 1-2 days a week max since mid-July, and being terribly unproductive on the days I am there thanks to how shitty I feel. Since I am comission sales, this is all unpaid time off (salespeople at this company do not get PTO) so that is an added stress factor. I sent in a distribution form for an old 401k that I never rolled over into a new one, which I know isn't the best decision in terms of my financial future, but hey, gotta do what I can to make it through the present, right?
Anyway, that's been delayed because since I worked at that place I got married and changed my name. Ugh.
Hopefully that will be on its way soon, and though its barely anything it may let me squeak by for a few more weeks and let me catch on the bills I haven't paid for this month.
Think I am going to bite the bullet and officially take some FMLA. Today my legs were so weak and so stiff I could barely walk, and then they gave out when I was walking downstairs and I fell down onto the landing. Not fun. The FMLA will be unpaid, of course, I was denied short term disability coverage based on my medical history back when I applied for it during open enrollment, but at least I won't lose my job. Though at this point that might be better. I could get on Zach's insurance and unemployment would at least be some money.
Might make it harder to find a job in the future though. Been trying to find a work from home job to help me cope with all this for a few months now. Not much luck.
I found a new doctor, or rather Physicians Assitant, since my old one left her practice, and I really like the new one. Seems like she is finally going to break the thyroid/cardiovascular/rheumatoid/depression cycle that all my doctors keep testing for and start considering other things.
So, I have an appointment with a neurologist in September, and I am supposed to get a call to schedule an MRI soon. Looking for signs of MS. And other things as well, but that's her main thought right now.
Though I never considered it, looking into it, I do have an awful lot of the symptoms listed for it. Of course, it seems lile MS just has an awful lot of possible symptoms to begin with so that could mean nothing.
My aunt has MS. Though apprently it is not genetic, but can cluster in families? Does that mean there is an environment factor then? Dunno.
All in all, feeling pretty down and defeated here lately, to be honest. Sorry for the long post. I can't sleep so I am soaking in an epsom salt bath in an attempt to ease the pain in my joints, and I am bored.
Oh! And my therapist officially diagnosed me with C-PTSD from my childhood and everything I went through with my parents. It actually made me laugh. Like, of course I have PTSD, that was a no brainer, but thank you for the membership badge.
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